Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - October 20, 2022


GOML LIVE #170 - BETTER CALL SAUL ANAL BEADS (Part 1)

Topics
Better Call Saul Stephen Breyer pedophilia allegations bar culture Eric Adams incompetence Nita Fashions
Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Guests
Trooper Dickman
Mentioned
Eric Adams Ryan John Paul Heijmans Tim Pool Andy Dufresne John Brennan Kelsey Bourne Matty O'Dell Breaking Bad Greg Abbott Alex Jones Eugene Gamora Michael K. Michael K. Show Drag Queen Story Hour Proud Western Chauvinist Kermi Jordan Peterson Craving McPherson Queen Vanellope Nathan Fielder and 72 more
GOML LIVE #170 - TIM POOL IN JULY S04E178 - OK GROOMER

Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 30 minutes

Words per minute

162.88

Word count

14,814

Sentence count

1,873

Harmful content

Misogyny

63

sentences flagged

Toxicity

426

sentences flagged

Hate speech

90

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Gavin McInnes and Matty O'Dell are joined by State Trooper Dan Dickman to talk about a variety of topics including the recent firing of our ad guy, and the fact that we don't have any sponsors for the show anymore. Also, Matty and Gav talk about what it's like to be a New York Yankees fan in the late 90s and early 00s, and what it was like to grow up in the 90s in New York, and how it's not as bad as it used to be. And, of course, there's a call-in from a fan who wants to know if he should be allowed to be on the show, and why he shouldn't be. Also, the guys talk about the weirdest thing that happened to Matty's car at a strip club and why it's a good thing Matty doesn't have a driver's license yet. And finally, the boys answer your questions. Get Off My Lawn! Getoffmylawn.co.nz/GetOffMyLawn/Message Subscribe to the show Subscribe to our channel Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Use the promo code "GavinMcInnes" to receive $5 and receive $10 off your first purchase when you become a patron. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts Subscribe on Audible Subscribe on your favorite streaming platform Subscribe on Podchaser Subscribe on PODCODE Subscribe on Spreaker If you have nothing better than $5 or more than $10, you can get 10% off the entire month of the show and get $5 a month for the rest of the month, plus an ad-free version of the podcast, plus a free copy of the entire show, plus they'll be giving you a FREE shipping offer when you sign up for the ad-only version of their ad-list, and they'll get an ad discount when you shop through the first month, and you get the choice of your choice of the ad is reviewed on the entire place they receive the entire service, they'll also get the entire ad-choice, plus you get a FREE ad-ververge, and all you'll get a discount, too get the best deal, and it'll get all the best vouching service in the world gets the best of the service gets a complimentary shipping offer, and a discount on the best review, too, they're also get a $5 promo code, too!

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:14.000 New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
00:00:40.000 Bonjour tout le monde, bienvenue à Get Off My Lawn Lounge.
00:00:48.000 We're joined by State Trooper Dickman over there.
00:00:52.000 And of course, the co-host, Matty O'Dell is back.
00:00:55.000 What's going on, everybody?
00:00:57.000 Good to be seen.
00:00:58.000 Now, that was Ortiz and Kinsey, some, I don't know, Parisian rap chicks. 0.98
00:01:07.000 Baby Monster sent in.
00:01:08.000 Seemed like a good idea at the time.
00:01:09.000 Ooh, they're attractive. 0.99
00:01:12.000 It'd be cool to marry a French chick because the sex would just always be hot and it would go on forever. 1.00
00:01:16.000 But she's definitely going to cheat on you. 1.00
00:01:17.000 That's something you got to think about.
00:01:21.000 There's no fidelity in France.
00:01:25.000 We have a very exciting show for you today because we have zero sponsors.
00:01:30.000 We fired our ad guy last week for allowing one of our sponsor's websites to be taken over by one of our fans who made it into a racist site because he thought it was funny.
00:01:41.000 And to be frank, it was.
00:01:44.000 It was a good gag. 1.00
00:01:49.000 But our ad guy is either in on the gag and fucking with us, which means you're fired, or he's so stupid that he didn't notice we were being fucked with, in which case you're fired. 1.00
00:01:58.000 So he's actually fired twice. 1.00
00:02:02.000 We've let him go twice in one firing.
00:02:04.000 That's almost as many times as I've been fired.
00:02:07.000 He's getting there. 0.97
00:02:09.000 What a boob. 1.00
00:02:10.000 I've never been fired twice in one day, though. 1.00
00:02:11.000 That's fucking crazy. 0.98
00:02:13.000 This is in the same firing. 1.00
00:02:15.000 Yeah.
00:02:16.000 And you know what? 0.98
00:02:17.000 We'll go to our grave, never knowing if this guy was just so bad that he's bad, or this guy's a fucking genius that was a character for what, four years? 0.98
00:02:29.000 Where he pretended to be the most annoying ad sales guy in the universe. 0.98
00:02:34.000 We'll never know.
00:02:37.000 The world may never know.
00:02:38.000 Wow.
00:02:40.000 Wow!
00:02:41.000 Wow.
00:02:41.000 I guess, you know what, we'll follow him.
00:02:43.000 Please.
00:02:44.000 His name is Vince, by the way.
00:02:45.000 I'm not gonna say his full name. 1.00
00:02:46.000 We'll follow him, and if his next gig is like working with Nathan Fielder, or something, we'll go, you fucker! 1.00
00:02:54.000 But if his next job is ruining someone else's life with terrible ad sales... 0.99
00:02:58.000 I had the ad guy go to Gavin McInnes' show, and- That's my Nathan Fielder, by the way. 0.98
00:03:06.000 Kinda sucks. 0.55
00:03:07.000 Can I try to learn an impression on the show? 0.99
00:03:09.000 Yeah, but don't learn in public, though.
00:03:11.000 I figured- Are we at a skate park?
00:03:12.000 I think it'd be cool to show you the process.
00:03:14.000 No, it's not.
00:03:15.000 We don't want the process.
00:03:16.000 We want- This show should be packaged presents under the tree, ready to go.
00:03:20.000 I feel like I could do it.
00:03:21.000 Just give me one second with this guy.
00:03:24.000 Leave them to your heirs.
00:03:29.000 So anyways, I'm looking for luggage or something like a warehouse to do my prank in, and then I realize I look like the Tin Man without makeup on.
00:03:38.000 And that's pretty much how I do the thing.
00:03:40.000 He's kind of got a bit of Kermie Jordan-Peterson in him.
00:03:43.000 Yeah, he's got it.
00:03:43.000 Maybe that's a Canadian thing.
00:03:45.000 Yeah, he's got a deeper Kermit the Frog voice.
00:03:46.000 Yeah, he's a deep Kermie. 1.00
00:03:48.000 Wait, is it a Canadian thing?
00:03:50.000 I think he's from Vancouver.
00:03:51.000 Trent Pearson is from Toronto.
00:03:54.000 Canadians that have that voice?
00:03:56.000 That's a scoop.
00:03:59.000 So yeah, this is the live show.
00:04:01.000 It's sponsored by sponsors who don't exist anymore.
00:04:05.000 I don't know what we're going to do about that.
00:04:06.000 I don't really care.
00:04:08.000 The income from sponsors was like 20 grand a year or something.
00:04:11.000 It wasn't really a mark on the Richter scale.
00:04:15.000 But what we do on this show is we have a super chat that appears here.
00:04:19.000 100 bucks.
00:04:20.000 We definitely read it. 1.00
00:04:21.000 Damn. 0.99
00:04:23.000 Wait, what's going on? 0.99
00:04:23.000 You go to the live show on a browser, this will not work on the app, and then you see this little beautiful blue button. 0.99
00:04:29.000 Do it as Chinese Trump. 0.91
00:04:32.000 Frankly, if you look at this beautiful screen, right, you could donate a button, right, or something like that.
00:04:41.000 And basically, you give the money and we're going to read you a beautiful, beautiful message, okay?
00:04:49.000 We do the Super Chats that appear there, we read letters, and we also take calls.
00:05:10.000 So it's three access points to the show, and we want to hear what you have to say, what your gripes are.
00:05:17.000 If you have nothing to say, we have a million things to say.
00:05:19.000 The reason we're doing the live show on Tuesday instead of Thursday is we have a show in Chicago on Thursday.
00:05:26.000 Josh decided we should announce the venue.
00:05:30.000 He had some gumption.
00:05:31.000 He had some hubris.
00:05:33.000 He caught his druthers.
00:05:35.000 And he said it's going to be at, what was it, Bauber House or something?
00:05:39.000 In Lombard, and the owner got bombarded with... He got Lombarded with... He got Lombarded with Media Matters and Antifa screaming and freaking out, and of course his first reaction was, OKAY IT'S CANCELLED!
00:05:53.000 But holy schmokes! 1.00
00:05:54.000 Which really, what were you holy schmokes-ing? 0.94
00:05:57.000 Lots of big boy donations here.
00:05:59.000 A couple hundred, one five hundred.
00:06:01.000 My lord.
00:06:02.000 We're real close to 20,000.
00:06:02.000 We love Max.
00:06:04.000 We love John.
00:06:07.000 So he capitulated like that.
00:06:08.000 And I was talking to Alex Jones today.
00:06:10.000 We'll put up the show on Friday.
00:06:12.000 But I was just like, he's like, what are we going to do?
00:06:15.000 How do we fight back?
00:06:16.000 And it's like, that's like asking how we fight back against
00:06:20.000 Some bratty 13-year-old girl with blue hair.
00:06:23.000 Like, we're not up against Chuck Zito here.
00:06:25.000 We're not up against MS-13.
00:06:27.000 These are not worthy adversaries.
00:06:30.000 All you have to do is pick up the phone, for example, and people go, you know you're harboring a fascist?
00:06:35.000 Go... And I know it's weird to hang up an iPhone like that, but that's what you have to do because it's not dramatic to go...
00:06:45.000 Stop capitulating.
00:06:46.000 The Drag Queen Story Hours. 0.79
00:06:47.000 You know how you shut them down?
00:06:48.000 You don't need bomb scares.
00:06:50.000 You don't need violence. 1.00
00:06:51.000 You don't need screaming faggot. 1.00
00:06:53.000 Just show up there and go, this is gay and I don't want it to happen. 1.00
00:06:57.000 Okay. 1.00
00:06:59.000 That is huge.
00:07:01.000 So it's an elephant up against a mouse cowering and shaking and
00:07:06.000 You know, I was watching a nature show with an elephant in it, and it was really sad.
00:07:13.000 It had this thorn in its paw, and it was amazing because you could hear the thoughts of the animals in this nature show.
00:07:20.000 And he had a thorn in his paw, and you could see he was in pain.
00:07:23.000 And then there was a little mouse who showed up, and of course elephants are scared of mice, so he sort of went...
00:07:29.000 And the mouse was like, I can get rid of that for you.
00:07:32.000 Just calm down.
00:07:33.000 Stop freaking out.
00:07:33.000 I can get rid of that for you.
00:07:35.000 And the elephant is like, anything, I'll do anything to get this out.
00:07:38.000 And the mouse goes, anything at all? 1.00
00:07:41.000 And so the mouse scurries up and he whispers into the elephant's ear, I want to fuck your ass. 1.00
00:07:50.000 I don't 1.00
00:08:04.000 Look, I'm so happy to get that thorn on my paw.
00:08:06.000 You can go do whatever you want back there. 0.99
00:08:07.000 I'm not sure how you think it's going to work, but go nuts. 1.00
00:08:10.000 So the mouse scurries up his hind leg and he pushes his tail out of the way so he can get to the asshole. 1.00
00:08:17.000 And then the fucking mouse just sinks his tiny, tiny, tiny little cock into the elephant's butthole, which is, I mean, he's just really going near the anal lip. 1.00
00:08:26.000 There's no real penetration going on. 1.00
00:08:28.000 And he's holding onto the tail like this and he's going, oh yeah.
00:08:32.000 And nearby, about a block away, which in the jungle is like seven trees, this monkey wakes up.
00:08:40.000 And he's like, oh, I love this jungle.
00:08:43.000 I love my family, my wife.
00:08:45.000 I'm so set up here. 1.00
00:08:47.000 It's such a... What the fuck? 1.00
00:08:49.000 He looks over and he sees a mouse fucking an elephant up the ass. 1.00
00:08:53.000 And he goes, what the hell has happened to this jungle? 1.00
00:08:55.000 This used to be prime real estate. 1.00
00:08:57.000 And now we have mice fucking elephants up the ass right next to my kids, right in front of me. 1.00
00:09:03.000 Because I've had enough of this shit. 1.00
00:09:05.000 And he grabs a coconut and he just fucking whips it at the elephant. 1.00
00:09:08.000 And it goes soaring through there and it goes PONK off the back of the elephant's head and the elephant goes AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 0.99
00:09:31.000 Unrelenting perverts destroying our society. 0.99
00:09:35.000 Every fucking day I tune in and there's more Drag Queens. 1.00
00:09:38.000 We're going to do a little, a little, a big deep dive on it on Friday. 0.99
00:09:42.000 But the boomers are in total denial. 0.94
00:09:45.000 This whole thing is out of spite, by the way.
00:09:47.000 Drag Queen Story Hour has nothing to do with drag queens or kids. 0.86
00:09:51.000 It is something that makes me and you mad.
00:09:54.000 So let's do it. 1.00
00:09:55.000 Like if eating shit 1.00
00:09:57.000 Made us go, oh gross, these liberals are eating shit, I'm gonna barf. 1.00
00:10:00.000 They'd be like, ha ha, look he's barfing, yeah. 1.00
00:10:04.000 That's what they're doing.
00:10:06.000 Except instead of getting sick from eating feces, they're polluting their child's brains. 0.52
00:10:11.000 Just to spite us.
00:10:12.000 I almost feel like we should be like, calm down, we love drag queens, it's good, it's good.
00:10:17.000 To make them stop?
00:10:18.000 Like they're holding their kids at ransom.
00:10:20.000 They have a drag queen pointed to their kid's head. 1.00
00:10:23.000 And they're like, yeah?
00:10:24.000 You like that?
00:10:25.000 Calm down, calm down.
00:10:27.000 Let the kid go. 0.94
00:10:29.000 So this one is from today, 11C. 1.00
00:10:33.000 And it's a man, dressed as a woman, flashing his underpants and talking about how sweet his pussy is. 1.00
00:10:42.000 Turn it up. 1.00
00:10:45.000 You guys see the picture shift for me.
00:10:47.000 Go back to the beginning.
00:11:01.000 Getting tips, as strippers do. 0.98
00:11:04.000 Squatting. 0.82
00:11:05.000 That dance is mimicking intercourse. 0.55
00:11:08.000 Look at that poor kid.
00:11:14.000 There's one saying mother and I think that somebody in the comments are like a mother realizing what drag queen story hours and they zoom in on this poor woman's face. 0.83
00:11:25.000 This woman next to the fat woman right here. 1.00
00:11:31.000 The second from the left.
00:11:32.000 Look at her face like as you slowly realize that she's made a mistake. 1.00
00:11:37.000 I suck. 1.00
00:11:38.000 When is that gonna end? 1.00
00:11:39.000 I'm gross. 0.57
00:11:42.000 Yeah, spite culture isn't really satisfying. 1.00
00:11:45.000 Again, you're eating shit just to gross everyone out. 0.99
00:11:50.000 I saw a good pedo thread, one three. 1.00
00:11:53.000 This woman sees what's going on and she goes, I'm gonna fucking really get into this. 0.81
00:11:57.000 So I see an advert for a drag queen story hour for kids at a pub in Eugene, Oregon. 0.96
00:12:02.000 Named after Satan, okay.
00:12:04.000 From one of the attendants of an 11-year-old dragon queen by the name of Vanellope.
00:12:09.000 I think this is bad.
00:12:11.000 Send to a friend, we both start digging because something seems very off.
00:12:14.000 I guess we should blur the face, but I kind of want you to see how young this child is.
00:12:19.000 So that is what?
00:12:20.000 A six-year-old boy?
00:12:22.000 Dressed up in makeup?
00:12:24.000 Remember how we used to look at Rome horrified?
00:12:27.000 Or even the Arabs in Afghanistan who would have the little, I forget what they're called, like buku boys? 1.00
00:12:34.000 Where they'd bring, onto American bases, they'd bring these nine-year-old boys and fuck them. 0.99
00:12:38.000 And then the Marines would get in fights and their spears would go, stop rocking the boat, dude. 0.99
00:12:42.000 We're trying to win hearts and minds here. 0.91
00:12:44.000 And these hearts and minds are pedophiles.
00:12:48.000 So she's She starts looking at the comments on the pub page when the pub page she was talking about the bars page, right?
00:12:55.000 Not an abbreviation for public Yeah, we can see the pub owners defending this event as being normal and gaslighting anyone who thinks it's appropriate It's very weird.
00:13:04.000 How many of you are sexualizing a child in makeup? 0.99
00:13:07.000 Go back to that original picture. 1.00
00:13:09.000 So if you are offended by this you're a pervert and 0.82
00:13:14.000 No, that's not how it goes. 0.98
00:13:17.000 If I see a kid dressed up as a clown and I see it as sexual, then you have a point.
00:13:22.000 This is how women dress to attract men. 1.00
00:13:26.000 So she keeps digging.
00:13:32.000 Keep going.
00:13:34.000 Looking a bit closer at the pub, we see that there's a, it's a big, a big Antifa bar where they have kink night. 0.91
00:13:39.000 So it's a sexual location, right?
00:13:41.000 This is not a library.
00:13:43.000 Not that it's better when it's at a library, but they call the owner Queen Antifa.
00:13:47.000 They used to have Antifa symbols everywhere.
00:13:48.000 Okay. 0.99
00:13:48.000 So we know in Antifa tend to be mentally ill, depraved perverts, mess heads, especially up in the Pacific Northwest. 0.99
00:13:56.000 Keep going. 1.00
00:13:58.000 We look at one single person in the comments defending this and his Twitter is all porn and he has an OnlyFans. 0.90
00:14:05.000 Also his comment is just gross and very revealing.
00:14:08.000 And let's click on that first picture.
00:14:10.000 We're really starting the show off with a fun start where they sexualize kids so much more.
00:14:16.000 Beauty pageants, spelled wrong, sexualize kids so much more. 1.00
00:14:21.000 There is some creepiness about beauty pageants but it's not quite the same as a man flashing his panties saying my pussy's good to little kids and then getting tips from them. 1.00
00:14:31.000 And then the next pick so that person is also Is a fan or hasn't only fans where she likes sucking smaller cocks and it's a drag. 1.00
00:14:43.000 Let's see the pick Ryan. 0.99
00:14:47.000 Oh It's cropped, okay crop for her pleasure It gets worse guys keep going oh
00:14:56.000 We then discover who the mother of this child is.
00:14:59.000 This is where it gets bizarre.
00:15:00.000 So that's the mom.
00:15:02.000 No body shame there. 1.00
00:15:03.000 She's just a disgusting fat pig who likes dressing up her daughter like a whore. 1.00
00:15:09.000 Okay. 1.00
00:15:10.000 And this is the part that freaked me out.
00:15:13.000 Vanellope's mother had plans for her daughter from infancy.
00:15:16.000 The caption of this photo was born to be a queen.
00:15:20.000 Her as an infant being cradled by drag queens. 0.59
00:15:23.000 And there she is born to be a drag queen at birth. 1.00
00:15:27.000 And here she is like we're reaching satanic levels that make Alex Jones look like a pussy. 1.00
00:15:34.000 It makes Alex Jones look like Chris Hayes. 1.00
00:15:37.000 She even got her daughter her own Venmo account where she receives money from men after they have attended her drag shows. 1.00
00:15:43.000 Oh my god, Summer Nights with Kenzie and Friends!
00:15:47.000 Show. 0.99
00:15:48.000 What the fuck does that mean? 0.99
00:15:51.000 Show. 0.99
00:15:52.000 Oh, they're saying what they donated for.
00:15:54.000 I'm donating for that awesome show.
00:15:59.000 Wow.
00:15:59.000 Very disturbing.
00:16:01.000 But I can't go to Penn State because I'm violent.
00:16:04.000 It gets worse! 0.96
00:16:06.000 She has a drag queen mother. 0.99
00:16:07.000 So I guess not her real mother.
00:16:09.000 A woman named Kelsey Bourne.
00:16:10.000 We found photos of Kelsey with Vanellope on an Insta account of Kelsey's and a Facebook page.
00:16:14.000 Kelsey Bourne was arrested in August of 2020 on child porn charges while she was working as a teacher's assistant. 0.89
00:16:21.000 So her godmother basically is a pedophile. 1.00
00:16:25.000 Wow. 1.00
00:16:27.000 Wow.
00:16:28.000 Not good.
00:16:29.000 Terrible.
00:16:29.000 Terrible.
00:16:31.000 Keep going.
00:16:33.000 Ryan and I were talking earlier about when we're talking about the worst stories in the world, like a toddler being killed and put in a suitcase, we call it cringe.
00:16:41.000 Yeah.
00:16:43.000 Oh, this pedophile ring is so cringe. 0.94
00:16:47.000 Kelsey Bourne is jailed and awaiting trial on child porn charges. 0.96
00:16:50.000 She's pictured with phenelope. 1.00
00:16:52.000 Look how satanic and evil that fucking person looks. 1.00
00:16:56.000 Like we used to think the evangelicals were nuts for saying Satan has infiltrated 1.00
00:17:01.000 Our schools and our churches and it's going to affect the children.
00:17:04.000 We're like, okay, born again.
00:17:06.000 Turns out they were right.
00:17:08.000 Our first peacock was a success.
00:17:10.000 Super crazy.
00:17:11.000 Proud of our little Queen Vanellope.
00:17:13.000 Says a person in jail for child porn.
00:17:18.000 Child has been exploited by so many adults.
00:17:19.000 She's only 11 years old.
00:17:20.000 They want to put her on display this Sunday at a satanic, not exaggerating, bar in Eugene.
00:17:25.000 Uh, how do we let this kind of exploitation continue?
00:17:29.000 Like, all you have to do is go to this event with this evidence.
00:17:33.000 You can be a flyer.
00:17:34.000 You don't have to hurt anyone.
00:17:35.000 Don't do anything illegal.
00:17:37.000 Just say, like the Proud Boys. 0.99
00:17:39.000 They went to that, that fucking place in, uh, where was that? 1.00
00:17:43.000 Eugene? 0.99
00:17:43.000 Was it Eugene? 0.99
00:17:44.000 I think it was Washington.
00:17:45.000 No, San Francisco.
00:17:45.000 It was San Francisco.
00:17:46.000 Oh yeah, the public library.
00:17:48.000 Yeah, Bay Area. 1.00
00:17:49.000 And they said, the person you're having, having here, Panda Dolce, this is a video she made where she talks about sucking children's dicks or children sucking his dick. 1.00
00:17:57.000 That's all they did. 1.00
00:17:58.000 They waited outside.
00:17:59.000 That's all they did.
00:18:00.000 That's all you have to do. 1.00
00:18:01.000 Disgusting. 1.00
00:18:02.000 We're not up against the fucking pagans here. 1.00
00:18:06.000 We're not trying to take down bikers. 0.99
00:18:08.000 Is that the end of that thread?
00:18:09.000 Nope.
00:18:13.000 The bar, her mother, her fans, what can you exploit it? 0.86
00:18:16.000 This child, they are grooming this child.
00:18:17.000 Just look at the people surrounding her and you can imagine her future. 0.99
00:18:24.000 What a fucking bummer way to start the show. 0.99
00:18:28.000 But I'm not going to not report pedophilia because it's a downer. 0.99
00:18:31.000 Took me a while of digging.
00:18:32.000 Vanellope is a biological girl.
00:18:34.000 Oh, so that there's something even I don't know.
00:18:36.000 Is that weirder than if it was if it was a boy drag thing? 0.86
00:18:40.000 Splitting hairs here. 0.91
00:18:41.000 But I mean, the problem is drag queens are sexual. 1.00
00:18:43.000 That's really the crux of the entire controversy. 0.99
00:18:46.000 Drag queens are sexual. 1.00
00:18:48.000 Wait, wait, wait. 0.97
00:18:49.000 Last night the mother logged into Facebook and removed the name Craving from the daughter's name.
00:18:53.000 Ew, Craving? 1.00
00:18:54.000 What the fuck? 1.00
00:18:56.000 Wait, I don't see Craving. 1.00
00:18:57.000 Oh, I see.
00:18:57.000 Vanellope Craving McPherson.
00:19:00.000 The drag mom emperor that's currently awaiting trial for child porn goes by the Instagram handle Always Craving Kink. 1.00
00:19:08.000 Okay, this is getting... I hadn't read that one. 0.95
00:19:11.000 You got that? 1.00
00:19:12.000 So the godmother, pornographer, fucking child porn addict, pedophile, has Craving in her name, and the actual mother put Craving in her daughter's name. 1.00
00:19:24.000 Did you make a baby just to fuck? 1.00
00:19:26.000 Or to hand out? 1.00
00:19:29.000 Wow.
00:19:31.000 So that is why we object.
00:19:33.000 And the Proud Boys were facing hate crime charges for shutting down that particular one.
00:19:38.000 And then the video of Panday Dulce came out and the charges disappeared.
00:19:43.000 Which I'll likely repeat on Friday because I banked the show today.
00:19:45.000 Uh-huh.
00:19:48.000 Uh-huh.
00:19:49.000 Uh-huh.
00:19:50.000 Tight as a suit?
00:19:53.000 By the way, so pull up a map of Chicago and we can show generally where the place is.
00:19:59.000 It's an hour and 20 minutes northwest of Chicago.
00:20:04.000 Very white, very safe. 0.57
00:20:06.000 It's not the South Side.
00:20:08.000 It's not a... What's it called?
00:20:11.000 What's a scary place in Chicago?
00:20:13.000 Iglinton or something?
00:20:15.000 Anyway, the old spot was I think around here, Lombard.
00:20:20.000 And the new place is just up from there, McHenry.
00:20:23.000 So if you got a hotel in Lombard, I apologize.
00:20:26.000 Cancel it.
00:20:27.000 Go up here to McHenry.
00:20:29.000 And it's about this far.
00:20:31.000 You got it?
00:20:34.000 Okay.
00:20:36.000 But the show must go on.
00:20:38.000 The show will go on.
00:20:40.000 All right, let's read a couple of Snapchats.
00:20:42.000 I mean, Snapchats.
00:20:43.000 Superchats.
00:20:44.000 That money's going to Max and John when they get out.
00:20:47.000 I think Max and John are going to keep appealing their sentence even after they get out.
00:20:54.000 And I think they should sue after that.
00:20:56.000 They did everything the cops told them to and they got four years.
00:21:00.000 John's three-year-old's never seen John?
00:21:04.000 What's the matter?
00:21:04.000 You can't get to the top?
00:21:07.000 Question for the mostly, mostly the x-ray trooper, is it illegal to prank call Nigeria or Pakistan?
00:21:14.000 They can scam, they scam call us.
00:21:16.000 I wanted to do a reverse prank call show.
00:21:18.000 They can't fly from Pakistan and arrest me, right?
00:21:21.000 Why would a state trooper know that?
00:21:23.000 His job is speeding.
00:21:27.000 Question for the state trooper, if I'm in Pakistan and I speed, can I be fined by my original state, New York State, or? 0.99
00:21:34.000 What do you think, dick man? 0.99
00:21:38.000 Say it again. 1.00
00:21:39.000 Can you prank call Pakistan and get charged for that? 0.99
00:21:41.000 Yes.
00:21:42.000 You can prank call anybody.
00:21:43.000 Is it illegal?
00:21:45.000 I don't know.
00:21:46.000 Yeah, I don't know either.
00:21:47.000 I don't think so.
00:21:48.000 The Jerky Boys did it all the time.
00:21:50.000 You met the Jerky Boys once, right?
00:21:52.000 I did, yeah.
00:21:53.000 What was that story again?
00:21:55.000 I'll try not to bore you.
00:21:58.000 It was New Year's Eve.
00:21:59.000 I was working at midnight and a moving truck got stuck under a train trestle that was too low.
00:22:06.000 And he, Johnny Brennan.
00:22:08.000 I met Johnny Brennan too.
00:22:09.000 Yeah, he lives up in Orange County there.
00:22:12.000 Washingtonville-ish.
00:22:15.000 He was at a party that was right outside where the truck got stuck under the train trestle.
00:22:22.000 I didn't know it was him.
00:22:23.000 I just hear this guy yelling.
00:22:24.000 I'm aggravated.
00:22:25.000 Highly aggravated at the driver of the truck.
00:22:28.000 Because it's clearly marked that he wouldn't fit under the train.
00:22:31.000 That's funny hearing you tell this story publicly. 0.98
00:22:33.000 Because when you told me this story privately, you're like, I'm fucking losing it. 0.98
00:22:36.000 I'm so pissed off at this guy. 1.00
00:22:38.000 What the fuck are you thinking, you idiot? 1.00
00:22:41.000 What, are you retarded? 1.00
00:22:43.000 What the fuck's the matter with you? 1.00
00:22:46.000 I'm slightly aggravated. 1.00
00:22:47.000 I could use a chill pill at this moment.
00:22:52.000 I made it clear to him that it was well posted and he should have been paying attention.
00:22:57.000 So he's on, like, the porch of the house.
00:22:59.000 The people from the party kind of spilled outside and were watching.
00:23:02.000 We had a heavy-duty wrecker out there getting the truck out, and he's yelling things like, I'm sorry!
00:23:07.000 I thought I could make it!
00:23:09.000 Oh, he's doing the Jewish guy? 0.96
00:23:11.000 Yeah, kind of.
00:23:12.000 He was just yelling like he was the truck driver.
00:23:13.000 And he's like, I, you know, I was laughing my ass off.
00:23:16.000 Then he eventually came down.
00:23:18.000 I remember he had a Planet Hollywood jacket on, and his voice was just so recognizable.
00:23:23.000 So I asked one of the other guys, I'm like, who is that guy?
00:23:25.000 He's like, it's Johnny Brennan.
00:23:27.000 And he was the main guy, right?
00:23:28.000 Yeah, he's the Frank Rizzo guy.
00:23:30.000 How many Jerky Boys are there?
00:23:31.000 Two.
00:23:32.000 There's two?
00:23:32.000 Yeah, I met him once.
00:23:35.000 I used to live up there.
00:23:38.000 Pete Davidson, ladies and gentlemen, if you're just listening to the audio, he's walked into the studio.
00:23:42.000 The amount of stars that we have that just wander in and out of the studio is amazing.
00:23:48.000 Amazing.
00:23:50.000 That's my impression of that guy.
00:23:51.000 I thought you lived in Staten Island, Pete.
00:23:53.000 Oh, yeah, I know, but I used to live up there, too.
00:23:55.000 Oh, I used to live all over the place.
00:23:57.000 I don't know.
00:23:58.000 Whatever.
00:24:00.000 But, uh, yeah, I met him and he gave me a ride to the train station.
00:24:03.000 Real nice guy.
00:24:05.000 I love how you're just such a chill dude.
00:24:07.000 Like you're just like water off a duck's back.
00:24:10.000 I don't care.
00:24:10.000 Yeah, that's awesome.
00:24:12.000 Huh?
00:24:13.000 You're such a good vibe.
00:24:15.000 OK.
00:24:15.000 Um.
00:24:23.000 Oh, we got more chats.
00:24:24.000 You know what I want to do on this show, actually?
00:24:26.000 We missed like a $500 chat.
00:24:28.000 We might want to... Wait, it's not gone.
00:24:29.000 No, I got to get it.
00:24:31.000 We didn't miss it.
00:24:32.000 Yeah, there's a couple hundred dollar ones, too.
00:24:34.000 Yeah.
00:24:36.000 I got a million final videos.
00:24:38.000 I want to go through some of those because this show is too all over the place to really get deep on something.
00:24:45.000 And we just bummed everyone out with we found a child sex ring.
00:24:49.000 It's not exactly party time central. 0.89
00:24:52.000 On social media.
00:24:53.000 On social media.
00:24:55.000 That's the other thing, too.
00:24:56.000 My metaphor with the elephant and the mouse.
00:25:00.000 That's all you have to do.
00:25:02.000 Like, they are the mice. 1.00
00:25:04.000 They leave all their shit out there. 1.00
00:25:05.000 They leave all their droppings all over the basement. 1.00
00:25:08.000 They're very easy to spot.
00:25:09.000 You just put a bit of cheese on a mousetrap.
00:25:11.000 Snap.
00:25:11.000 They're gone.
00:25:13.000 You want to get rid of mice?
00:25:14.000 Get rid of the food supply.
00:25:15.000 It's not rocket science here, folks.
00:25:18.000 But we're just like, no, the mice, the mice have shut us down. 0.99
00:25:22.000 Anthony canceled his fucking plane ticket to Chicago. 0.99
00:25:26.000 And I was like, dude, can you rebuy it? 1.00
00:25:30.000 Because I would do this show in a parking lot.
00:25:32.000 It has to go.
00:25:33.000 The show must go on.
00:25:34.000 We can't let them win.
00:25:36.000 And then we found a new venue in like a couple hours.
00:25:41.000 Hey, boys, this is one of the guys from the Blades movie that you dudes advertised on the show.
00:25:44.000 Thank you again for that.
00:25:45.000 That ruled him in the army.
00:25:47.000 So I have all my questions answered by my chain of command.
00:25:49.000 I just want to know how to help the boys out.
00:25:51.000 Oh, and Vincent.
00:25:52.000 And is Vincent still in charge of Advertis?
00:25:56.000 No, Vincent's gone forever.
00:25:58.000 And I'm thrilled, by the way, that he's fired.
00:26:00.000 I'm sad.
00:26:02.000 I'll happily just sponsor the show myself and use my own money.
00:26:07.000 What are you doing with this?
00:26:08.000 We have a much better system.
00:26:09.000 These are the ones that aren't.
00:26:10.000 It only shows the last five.
00:26:12.000 Boys, watch the trailer for Gamora.
00:26:13.000 You will thank me.
00:26:15.000 We'll be better investing than rewarding Sopranos again.
00:26:19.000 I guess he means re-watching.
00:26:21.000 Land back.
00:26:22.000 Okay, we gotta watch Gamora.
00:26:24.000 Alright, that was a 50.
00:26:24.000 He has a 100.
00:26:26.000 Gavin's a dick. 1.00
00:26:27.000 That's for the boys. 1.00
00:26:27.000 That was last week. 1.00
00:26:28.000 That hurts.
00:26:29.000 This is a big one.
00:26:30.000 500 bucks.
00:26:30.000 From now on, we're not reading any that insult me.
00:26:33.000 Yes.
00:26:33.000 Had a blast at the early Saturday show in Dallas.
00:26:35.000 Fucking awesome. 0.94
00:26:36.000 Got a lap dance from Gavin before his set. 0.98
00:26:38.000 I don't remember that.
00:26:39.000 Bald guy in the MAGA hat with the two big boys in the front row. 0.98
00:26:43.000 Had the pleasure of meeting Ryan after the show, and yes, he is either that, that nice, or very retarded. 0.98
00:26:49.000 Love you.
00:26:50.000 Okay.
00:26:52.000 What else do we got here?
00:26:54.000 That's it for those.
00:26:54.000 Here's the trailer for Gamora.
00:26:57.000 Okay.
00:27:00.000 There's a place.
00:27:04.000 I started re-watching the Batmans with my boy.
00:27:07.000 My wife was away for 10 days, so... You know, you play foosball, you take them to the driving range.
00:27:14.000 You build the Gundam?
00:27:16.000 I build the robot with him.
00:27:18.000 I took him to the batting cage.
00:27:19.000 Brought him to two games.
00:27:21.000 Okay, this already looks cool.
00:27:24.000 Has it got subtitles?
00:27:26.000 There's always a catch.
00:27:27.000 They look foreign. 0.93
00:27:29.000 But it's in English American.
00:27:31.000 Greed.
00:27:34.000 You're not helping us have a problem with greed when you show piles of awesome uncut cocaine.
00:27:41.000 This is the trouble with greed.
00:27:43.000 Super awesome coke.
00:27:46.000 Have like someone dying for greed.
00:27:51.000 Oh, it's a new series.
00:27:55.000 Is it a subtitle thing?
00:27:56.000 I can't really get... It doesn't look like it.
00:27:57.000 It didn't seem like it.
00:27:59.000 I got some letter, actually.
00:28:00.000 I might as well read it.
00:28:01.000 Do you want to do the... Mailbag? 1.00
00:28:05.000 Mailbag shit. 1.00
00:28:12.000 Good TV discussion. 1.00
00:28:13.000 I prefer that to child rape. 1.00
00:28:28.000 Better Call Saul. 0.97
00:28:31.000 Unpopular opinion, he says.
00:28:33.000 I disagree that Better Call Saul is in the same league as shows like The Sopranos or Breaking Bad.
00:28:38.000 Ouch.
00:28:39.000 I mean, obviously this is all subjective, but all I know is that I discovered Better Call Saul like two months ago, and I was so happy to go home and be like, ooh, I got another ep!
00:28:51.000 Because I had like 50 eps.
00:28:54.000 And I wouldn't overeat.
00:28:55.000 I'd do one app and then say, that's enough, Gav. 0.72
00:28:57.000 That's enough.
00:28:58.000 But it was such a relentless joy.
00:29:00.000 And I remember the same thing with Sopranos.
00:29:02.000 Back, it was in the early aughts.
00:29:04.000 We had a VCR and it had the time on it and I could see when this episode was going to end.
00:29:11.000 I put a business card up against the time because I didn't want to know when it was going to end.
00:29:15.000 Same kind of thing.
00:29:16.000 Like it's a treat. 0.98
00:29:18.000 So if a show is a treat and you're petrified of an ending, it's pretty fucking good. 0.91
00:29:23.000 Cinematography was beautiful. 0.92
00:29:25.000 The plots were amazing.
00:29:27.000 One can watch a random episode of The Sopranos and write a thesis on its themes, the brilliant dialogue, and layered storyline.
00:29:35.000 True.
00:29:36.000 David Chase said that the episode where he takes Meadow to college and he sees that guy that he's got a whack, he said that could have been a short film in and of itself.
00:29:47.000 That's true, but I feel that same way about Better Call Saul.
00:29:51.000 Better Call Saul was mildly entertaining, silly lawyer hijinks mixed with the sort of interesting storyline of being a prequel to Breaking Bad.
00:29:59.000 I only watched two or three episodes of Breaking Bad.
00:30:01.000 I got too stressed out.
00:30:04.000 I suppose Better Call Saul had some unique and complex characters, accredited to Vince Gilligan's writing, but as a whole paled in comparison to the superior drama of the aforementioned shows.
00:30:15.000 Last point, Bryan Cranston and James Gandolfini brilliantly carried their roles being tremendous dramatic actors, agreed, while Bob Odenkirk was frankly an embarrassment, not agreed, when attempting to perform in a serious dramatic role.
00:30:29.000 He's a silly boy who was meant to perform in a comedic context where he shines moist. 0.87
00:30:34.000 Moist. 0.99
00:30:34.000 Moist. 0.99
00:30:36.000 He is a total noob and cringe at drama.
00:30:39.000 Oh really? 0.71
00:30:39.000 Was nobody cringe? 0.71
00:30:43.000 So I disagree.
00:30:46.000 Have you watched Better Call Saul, Matty?
00:30:48.000 No, not yet. 0.99
00:30:49.000 Dude, it's fucking gold. 0.99
00:30:52.000 I don't know how you get the time to watch all these shows. 1.00
00:30:56.000 My kids go to bed at 9, 10, 9.
00:31:00.000 I'm not tired till midnight.
00:31:03.000 I got three hours to kill there.
00:31:05.000 Um...
00:31:11.000 Yeah, that's our better call Saul.
00:31:13.000 So how are we doing for Super Chats? 0.98
00:31:14.000 I just got drunk, by the way.
00:31:16.000 This show is going to nosedive soon. 0.98
00:31:18.000 I used to think the worst part of the show was Gavin's shitty taste opinions on music. 0.98
00:31:24.000 That hurts. 0.86
00:31:25.000 However, lately Ryan's hair has really been bothering me and has surpassed Gavin's music taste as the worst element of the show.
00:31:32.000 Dude, you're a father.
00:31:33.000 Grow up and get a haircut. 1.00
00:31:34.000 You look like a retarded teenager growing your hair out to be rebellious. 1.00
00:31:37.000 Thank you. 1.00
00:31:38.000 That's exactly what I'm screaming.
00:31:40.000 Anyway, I still love the show.
00:31:40.000 Keep up the good work.
00:31:41.000 Let's check in on Ryan's hair and see if it's... Actually, we did look at his hair and see he's trying to grow it out, right?
00:31:49.000 Wait, Tim, you're a Proud Boy?
00:31:51.000 Yeah, I'm a Proud Western Chauvinist who refuses to apologize for creating the modern world.
00:31:55.000 You don't have to say Proud Western Chauvinist.
00:31:57.000 Chauvinism is to be extremely patriotic about something and extremely passionate about it.
00:32:02.000 So Proud is covered in Chauvinism.
00:32:05.000 Let's take a little look at this article from BuzzFeed real quick.
00:32:10.000 Hold on one second.
00:32:13.000 You said real quick.
00:32:15.000 Well, we're going to look at it quickly, but it could take forever to bring it up.
00:32:19.000 But that's the point of the news.
00:32:21.000 Might be a civil war.
00:32:23.000 Who knows?
00:32:23.000 All right.
00:32:23.000 I want to get back to the Max and John super chats just to get those out of the way so we can relax.
00:32:27.000 It's sort of like. 0.69
00:32:29.000 When you get to the airport, I just want to get to my gate, make sure it exists, and then we can fuck around and go buy a newspaper or go get a drink or something. 0.96
00:32:37.000 Yeah, that's true.
00:32:38.000 But you want to get to your, because sometimes your gate isn't at your gate. 0.99
00:32:42.000 Sometimes you get there and it's a bus that goes down the fucking street. 0.97
00:32:49.000 Like at JFK, there's this one gate, I forget what it's called. 0.97
00:32:51.000 It's like 83.
00:32:52.000 So you go 82, 84. 1.00
00:32:54.000 What the fuck? 0.99
00:32:55.000 Oh, there's a little door there. 1.00
00:32:57.000 And it goes to a bus.
00:32:58.000 I'll only go like a one minute walk away from my gate, no matter what.
00:33:02.000 Yeah, I know I'm at that age now where I go like two hours early.
00:33:06.000 I'm about an hour and a half kind of guy, but I'll probably get that old one day too.
00:33:11.000 Are you going to Chicago with me at the same time?
00:33:14.000 I don't believe so.
00:33:15.000 Why are you still talking like Tim Pool?
00:33:17.000 Half Tim Pool, half you.
00:33:20.000 Well, I mean, look at me.
00:33:22.000 Chicken City.
00:33:24.000 Crazy.
00:33:25.000 Seriously.
00:33:25.000 Civil War.
00:33:27.000 Must suck to be Tim Pool in July, huh? 0.97
00:33:30.000 Tim Pool in July? 0.98
00:33:31.000 That's a good band name.
00:33:33.000 Tim Pool in July!
00:33:35.000 Are you writing it down?
00:33:36.000 Yeah.
00:33:37.000 Might be the title of the show.
00:33:42.000 I don't mind wearing a hat in February or on a ski hill.
00:33:45.000 You're gonna see that any other any other moment year-round.
00:33:49.000 Yeah, it starts getting itchy No, it does get very itchy but um, you know, I'm tough probably
00:33:58.000 Well, I guess if you're bald too, it's just, it's probably as warm as hair.
00:34:02.000 I'm not bald.
00:34:03.000 Okay.
00:34:04.000 I said, if.
00:34:06.000 Okay.
00:34:06.000 Well, I don't even like that.
00:34:08.000 It's cringe.
00:34:09.000 Okay.
00:34:10.000 All right.
00:34:10.000 What does your hair look like, Tim?
00:34:11.000 Is it like long flowing red locks?
00:34:15.000 What does it look like?
00:34:17.000 I don't want to dox myself.
00:34:18.000 I don't know if you saw that video, but the guy took my hat off and I said, dude, that's very dangerous because there are Antifa looking for me.
00:34:23.000 And if they identify me, that's why I wear the hat.
00:34:26.000 It's like a head mask.
00:34:28.000 So when you're out in public, you're bald, Tim.
00:34:32.000 Or whatever is under there.
00:34:33.000 Not bald.
00:34:33.000 Dreads, Tim.
00:34:35.000 It could be whatever, you know?
00:34:36.000 Use your imagination.
00:34:37.000 But let's check out these super chats.
00:34:40.000 Okay, changing the subject. 1.00
00:34:43.000 If a man could suck his own dick, does that make him gay? 1.00
00:34:46.000 Yes. 1.00
00:34:47.000 Steve Brower, the owner of Brower House, is a pedo! 0.99
00:34:51.000 What?! 0.99
00:34:52.000 No way!
00:34:55.000 This is the guy who canceled the show. 0.99
00:34:57.000 I grew up in the area and I have heard of three separate incidents that occurred in his old bar in Hillside where he let 15 and 16 year old girls drink in his bar and then fucked them. 0.99
00:35:09.000 He knew their ages. 0.96
00:35:10.000 One of them is my friend to this day.
00:35:12.000 I'm actually really happy that the venue has changed. 1.00
00:35:15.000 Fuck that guy. 1.00
00:35:17.000 What? 1.00
00:35:17.000 Wow. 1.00
00:35:19.000 Oh, so this is obviously allegedly unverifiable.
00:35:24.000 Well, it is verifiable, I guess, but in this short amount of time, so we don't know if this is true or not.
00:35:28.000 It's just an allegation.
00:35:30.000 Please don't sue me.
00:35:32.000 But if that was true, hypothetically, that would explain his hatred of attention, right?
00:35:39.000 I don't want any heat. 0.66
00:35:41.000 This is what, we'll talk about this later in the week, I've banked so many shows I can't remember what I said and haven't said, but one of the theories with Kanye is he's controlled opposition and the Jews have put him out there to make anti-Semites look nuts. 0.62
00:35:56.000 And I was saying, if I was a pedophile, I'm going to repeat this in another show,
00:36:01.000 I wouldn't send people out to look crazy and accuse me so they would stop people from accusing me.
00:36:07.000 I'd just be like, let's not mention it at all.
00:36:10.000 So I don't believe that theory. 0.99
00:36:14.000 But yeah, I'm happy to hear that there's a potential that this guy's a shitbag because he fucking pussied out. 0.99
00:36:20.000 We'll leave those. 0.99
00:36:22.000 Is that it for the expensive ones?
00:36:23.000 Go down a bit?
00:36:24.000 That's it.
00:36:25.000 Okay.
00:36:26.000 Yep.
00:36:29.000 Um, I think we're ready to start taking calls soon.
00:36:34.000 We could do that.
00:36:35.000 And then we can go behind the paywall.
00:36:38.000 It's your hat, man.
00:36:39.000 I mean, it's your shirt.
00:36:40.000 Not shirt or hat.
00:36:42.000 It's your show.
00:36:44.000 I'm not sure what happened there.
00:36:45.000 I broke.
00:36:48.000 Yeah, I don't want to get into this other stuff.
00:36:49.000 I just want to do funny videos.
00:36:50.000 Let's do fun vids.
00:36:52.000 We could do a thanks for calling.
00:36:53.000 Oh wait, I want to show you something.
00:36:55.000 Okay.
00:36:57.000 Things that are bad in the world. 1.00
00:37:01.000 White liberals worshiping black people like they're exotic animals. 1.00
00:37:05.000 This is especially bad in Europe. 1.00
00:37:07.000 Number two, black people overacting their faces off. 1.00
00:37:11.000 I don't know why they do that. 0.99
00:37:13.000 I guess they're trying to overact in TV so they can get a job in a movie or something.
00:37:17.000 I never quite got the whole blacking thing.
00:37:20.000 And then three, singing with such passion that you cry.
00:37:24.000 How about a video that combines all three of the worst things Western society has to offer?
00:37:30.000 In this video called 11A.
00:37:34.000 And this... Number four!
00:37:36.000 I hate this new trend where someone shows a viral video and then they show themselves going... You're not creating content!
00:37:48.000 Or there's this new thing too black people do where it'll have like someone on a bike hitting a brick wall and then they'll have the black guy go like, 0.99
00:37:57.000 And then they'll show someone fall down a chimney and break their legs and then he'll go. 0.98
00:38:00.000 Yeah.
00:38:03.000 What are you doing?
00:38:04.000 Or women just mouthing a TikTok. 1.00
00:38:07.000 That's even better. 1.00
00:38:08.000 And that's pathetic, too. 1.00
00:38:11.000 So this guy's helping by sitting there and just showing his stupid fucking face. 1.00
00:38:17.000 And then this song is gayer than AIDS. 1.00
00:38:23.000 I need you
00:38:32.000 Stop. 0.98
00:38:33.000 This is literally the gayest thing in the world. 1.00
00:38:36.000 It's a little dramatic. 0.94
00:38:37.000 Is it cringe?
00:38:38.000 Yeah, it's pretty cringe.
00:38:39.000 It's way beyond cringe.
00:38:41.000 I'm already creating a story for the guy to, like, make this okay.
00:38:44.000 What's the story?
00:38:46.000 He's just got his hearing aid put in and he's never heard sounds before?
00:38:49.000 Does somebody pepper spray him or something?
00:38:50.000 That's better, yes.
00:38:52.000 No, he's a European photographer.
00:38:53.000 I looked him up.
00:38:54.000 Not the guy on the right.
00:38:56.000 The guy singing.
00:38:59.000 Somebody died close to him.
00:39:02.000 Like, two minutes before they did this.
00:39:04.000 Right now.
00:39:05.000 Actually, they're dying in front of him.
00:39:06.000 They have his dad, and they're slowly slitting his dad's throat.
00:39:09.000 They said, you better sing a really beautiful song or your dad's dead.
00:39:13.000 He's like, if I ever... They're like, nah, that sucks. 0.99
00:39:16.000 He's like, wait, wait. 0.98
00:39:17.000 If I ever needed you... Sorry.
00:39:20.000 And his dad's like, you couldn't have sung...
00:39:24.000 You could hear the squelch.
00:39:25.000 His dad wanted him to do Louie Louie.
00:39:28.000 Fine little girl, she waits for me. 0.98
00:39:31.000 We catch a ship across the sea.
00:39:35.000 No.
00:39:37.000 If I ever need.
00:39:39.000 I need you now.
00:39:41.000 I like the descent, but no reason to cry.
00:39:44.000 If I ever needed.
00:39:47.000 Hey, African. 1.00
00:39:57.000 Look at him shaking his head. 1.00
00:39:59.000 Gay people are watching this jealous that something could be gayer than them. 1.00
00:40:07.000 There's two guys fucking each other up the ass going, whoa, you guys really tore us a new ass. 1.00
00:40:15.000 What? 1.00
00:40:22.000 Look at his nodding smile.
00:40:25.000 Oh my God.
00:40:26.000 I can't lie, that song is very insanely, that's very epic.
00:40:31.000 Wait, you know the song?
00:40:32.000 No, but it says the power of the Holy Spirit, so I feel like it's a religious tune.
00:40:37.000 That's okay, but what is this John Leibovitz guy adding to this? 0.98
00:40:40.000 Okay, so Ryan is so gay. 0.96
00:40:42.000 I like this song. 0.98
00:40:42.000 That he likes the black half of this video. 0.98
00:40:45.000 Yeah, listen to this.
00:40:50.000 There's nothing to like.
00:40:53.000 There's nothing there.
00:40:54.000 That's good.
00:40:55.000 Oh, that's gonna be stuck in my head all day.
00:40:57.000 That's powerful.
00:40:57.000 What's the melody?
00:40:58.000 What's the song?
00:40:59.000 Oh, now she's crying.
00:41:00.000 Yeah, I said they're taking turns crying.
00:41:03.000 Your turn.
00:41:03.000 She sings, he cries.
00:41:04.000 He sings, she cries. 1.00
00:41:05.000 When his dad is dead and decapitated, they bring in hers and she's like, oh, fuck. 1.00
00:41:10.000 They killed him too. 1.00
00:41:11.000 That white guy needs to die. 1.00
00:41:13.000 No, he's terrible. 1.00
00:41:14.000 And he doesn't even credit the song.
00:41:17.000 So he's just... It's just about him.
00:41:18.000 He's basically a slave owner.
00:41:20.000 And why did he put that up?
00:41:21.000 John Paul Heijmans?
00:41:24.000 Heijmans. 1.00
00:41:25.000 The Heijmans trophy for being a dick. 0.99
00:41:27.000 What's the point of you putting up that song? 0.99
00:41:29.000 Why are you including your face? 0.96
00:41:31.000 Just put the song up and go, here's some black people crying about a song I thought was cool. 1.00
00:41:36.000 I'd like to see you looking at it. 0.99
00:41:39.000 Photographers really are some of the worst people in the world.
00:41:42.000 Agreed.
00:41:44.000 We should start designing high-end cameras that just have a sort of long pin that goes.
00:41:51.000 Wow.
00:41:52.000 Yeah.
00:41:53.000 So you go, if you really want to do a super zoom, then hit this red button.
00:41:58.000 It would hurt.
00:41:58.000 It would hurt them though.
00:41:59.000 Kind of like no country for old men. 1.00
00:42:01.000 Yeah.
00:42:03.000 The cattle.
00:42:04.000 Yeah.
00:42:04.000 Okay, good.
00:42:06.000 We're making progress here.
00:42:08.000 Ooh.
00:42:08.000 I don't know if you're gonna like this.
00:42:11.000 Uh-oh. 1.00
00:42:11.000 New Super Chat claims that Better Call Saul... Oh, the guy who thinks that Better Call Saul sucks smells like Obama's anal beads. 1.00
00:42:20.000 That's a hot take. 1.00
00:42:21.000 You know what?
00:42:22.000 And a gross take. 0.99
00:42:23.000 This might be because I'm so un-racist, but I think Obama's anal beads are probably pretty clean. 0.99
00:42:28.000 I feel like he'd be the kind of guy who would wash his anal beads. 0.99
00:42:31.000 Um, I've never not put my anal beads in the dishwasher. 0.99
00:42:36.000 With the cups. 0.94
00:42:37.000 On the plates.
00:42:38.000 I bet he soaks them.
00:42:39.000 On the spoons.
00:42:40.000 He soaks them in a solution that is part baking soda.
00:42:44.000 Vinegar.
00:42:45.000 Vinegar.
00:42:45.000 Yeah, it's all organic, no bleach.
00:42:48.000 Vinegar, baking soda, and starch.
00:42:51.000 It took us a long time to figure out what was causing Mike Michelle's yeast infections.
00:42:57.000 Turns out it was the soap.
00:43:00.000 Okay, so we're done with we're caught up with the super chats.
00:43:03.000 That's so true.
00:43:04.000 We've read a letter.
00:43:05.000 We've got the calls initiated Let's take a call and then we'll go behind the paywall But the thing is you guys gotta you get your boys.
00:43:12.000 Excuse me have to put on your mics.
00:43:14.000 Oh
00:43:16.000 And let's put up the number, and I will also say it for the people in the back who are just listening.
00:43:20.000 Dickman's mic is on.
00:43:21.000 718-400-6959.
00:43:21.000 Again, that's 718-400-6959.
00:43:22.000 So what do we got here?
00:43:23.000 We've got 347.
00:43:23.000 You're on the 11.
00:43:24.000 Man, I haven't 69 in a long-ass time.
00:43:26.000 Yeah, word.
00:43:26.000 I remember 69-ing until I'd fall asleep.
00:43:30.000 Yeah.
00:43:30.000 Remember those days?
00:43:46.000 You'd just fall asleep with a beaver on your face.
00:43:48.000 And she'd fall asleep like... Beaver on your face. 1.00
00:43:51.000 Marathon sex. 1.00
00:43:52.000 Big disgrace. 0.99
00:43:53.000 60-yen dining all over the place.
00:43:57.000 347, you're on the line.
00:44:01.000 Go ahead, call her.
00:44:03.000 We got you, caller.
00:44:04.000 Believe in yourself.
00:44:06.000 Don't be scared.
00:44:07.000 Say something or you're G-A-Y. 1.00
00:44:10.000 Say something or you're a black African gospel song crying while a European nods. 0.95
00:44:17.000 That person got dropped. 0.96
00:44:18.000 Hello?
00:44:19.000 Hello?
00:44:20.000 Jungle Asian is on the line. 1.00
00:44:21.000 Hello?
00:44:21.000 You're familiar with Jungle Asian.
00:44:22.000 Hey, this is Jungle Asian. 1.00
00:44:24.000 Hi, Jungle Asian. 0.98
00:44:25.000 Most active commenter.
00:44:26.000 Hi, first of all, my husband said I should apologize to you about the whole you not owning life.
00:44:36.000 Apology accepted.
00:44:37.000 Next.
00:44:39.000 Oh wait, you only get one thing.
00:44:40.000 Okay, well thanks for calling.
00:44:42.000 I appreciate your apology.
00:44:43.000 I know this isn't what you want, and I'm sorry.
00:44:46.000 Yeah, thanks for calling.
00:44:47.000 We're giving you the fade, ma'am.
00:44:51.000 Wait, you listened to the show for so long.
00:44:53.000 You know the rules.
00:44:54.000 And this guy's gonna do it too, by the way.
00:44:56.000 615?
00:44:57.000 What's up, 615?
00:44:57.000 He has four things.
00:44:59.000 That's my bet.
00:45:02.000 Hello?
00:45:02.000 Hey, what's going on?
00:45:05.000 Oh, nothing much, man.
00:45:06.000 I was going to talk to you about bar culture these days.
00:45:11.000 Okay.
00:45:11.000 I went to a bar the other day and just to pass the time and there was probably like six or seven people at the bar and they were all on their phones.
00:45:27.000 Oh, man.
00:45:29.000 You know, I mean,
00:45:33.000 I was trying to go there to like, have a good conversation, have a beer, chill out.
00:45:39.000 And everybody's glued to their phones.
00:45:41.000 And even when you try to talk to somebody about something, they go, yeah, that's crazy.
00:45:47.000 And then go back to their phone.
00:45:50.000 You know, it's like, it's like a hookah bar.
00:45:52.000 Like if you're at a hookah bar, which I would never go to, obviously people probably talk blah, blah, blah.
00:45:57.000 And then there's a moment where you're just like, yeah.
00:46:00.000 Blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub 0.89
00:46:29.000 Yeah.
00:46:47.000 Can't look at Facebook. 1.00
00:46:48.000 You can't do all this bullshit. 0.99
00:46:50.000 You have to look up at the TV for a little bit. 1.00
00:46:54.000 And even that is annoying. 1.00
00:46:56.000 Like these fucking TVs. 1.00
00:46:59.000 Five, six TVs in every bar. 1.00
00:47:01.000 And you're talking to someone and they're designed to get your eye.
00:47:05.000 So I'm talking to someone and then whenever there's a tiny break in the conversation, I'm looking at a State Farm commercial.
00:47:12.000 I'm not watching the game. 0.96
00:47:13.000 It's not like the Mets just scored a fucking Grand Slam and I should be looking up. 0.97
00:47:17.000 I'm looking at State Farm, I'm looking at Liberty Life Insurance, I'm looking at... I'm looking at a fucking news show where they don't have closed captions. 0.99
00:47:27.000 So I'm just looking at an anchor just going blah blah blah, but my eyes are drawn up there. 0.99
00:47:32.000 Get rid of it all!
00:47:32.000 Yeah, but... Well, but also that's kind of a talking point too.
00:47:36.000 Like, you can be like, look at how gay this fucking commercial is. 0.99
00:47:39.000 Why are all commercials gay now? 1.00
00:47:42.000 Why are they retarded? 1.00
00:47:44.000 Yeah, it's better than someone staying at the phone. 0.85
00:47:46.000 What I've been doing to people on their phones is, like, they'll pull it out as I'm talking to them.
00:47:50.000 And I'll just go, all right, I'm not talking to you until you put your phone away.
00:47:55.000 All right, well, hey, thanks for calling, man.
00:47:57.000 Thanks for calling.
00:47:58.000 Hey, Ryan, do you have that website that has all my sketches?
00:48:03.000 Was it Rumble?
00:48:05.000 It's bookmarked on my other computer.
00:48:06.000 We were looking for it the other day and you found it, I think.
00:48:10.000 Rumble?
00:48:10.000 Rumble?
00:48:11.000 It's definitely rumble.
00:48:13.000 It's not brumble.
00:48:15.000 Um, but we'll, uh, look, you sent it to me.
00:48:19.000 Look at things you have sent me.
00:48:20.000 It's not that much.
00:48:22.000 It's pretty much a one way street with you and I. Oh, uh, rumble like the app.
00:48:29.000 No, the, the, the, well, yeah, the app, the, the YouTube replacement.
00:48:35.000 Yeah.
00:48:38.000 I found the drinking in bars thing there.
00:48:40.000 I thought it was gone forever.
00:48:42.000 Gone forever.
00:48:45.000 I'll dig it up if you can.
00:48:46.000 I got it.
00:48:47.000 Okay.
00:48:48.000 I got two links here.
00:48:50.000 They both have different things to them, you see.
00:48:54.000 One of them has all my, yeah, that one.
00:48:56.000 Gavin McInnes archives on Rumble.
00:48:58.000 Oh, maybe that's not it.
00:48:59.000 So it's got How to Piss in Public, which we were looking for desperately at one point.
00:49:03.000 Oh, good.
00:49:03.000 How to Fly.
00:49:04.000 Oh, is that high res?
00:49:06.000 Let's see.
00:49:08.000 It looks pretty res'd.
00:49:09.000 Jump in the middle.
00:49:11.000 No, 720!
00:49:12.000 Pretty good.
00:49:14.000 Pretty good.
00:49:18.000 We should put that on our site.
00:49:19.000 I think we could rip these.
00:49:22.000 Yeah, that'd be a great idea.
00:49:26.000 My dad taught me that one.
00:49:27.000 We could use that because we're flying out.
00:49:30.000 Million in the morning.
00:49:32.000 But yeah, how to drink in bars.
00:49:33.000 That's what I was looking for.
00:49:35.000 Metropolitan Club, the less salacious one that didn't get anybody.
00:49:38.000 I put that up on Getter.
00:49:40.000 You know if you follow me on social media.
00:49:41.000 I do, but I don't open those apps.
00:49:44.000 Billionaires can't solve your problem.
00:49:45.000 Open those apps?
00:49:45.000 What does that mean?
00:49:47.000 I don't social media really.
00:49:48.000 I tweet.
00:49:50.000 I don't social media really.
00:49:51.000 I tweet.
00:49:52.000 Go back to how to drink in bars.
00:49:56.000 That's a good one.
00:50:00.000 There it is.
00:50:00.000 Ah, it's super low res.
00:50:06.000 This one's only 480.
00:50:08.000 And here's your water.
00:50:09.000 Thank you.
00:50:11.000 Oh, hell no!
00:50:13.000 Hey! 0.99
00:50:13.000 What were you having, a smoothie? 0.99
00:50:15.000 Well, it was a blackberry margarita.
00:50:17.000 What are you doing? 1.00
00:50:18.000 You know how long those take to make, you asshole? 1.00
00:50:21.000 How long do those take to make? 1.00
00:50:22.000 Uh, I don't know, like five minutes? 1.00
00:50:24.000 You know how much time you waste with that bullshit? 1.00
00:50:28.000 This is bullshit! 1.00
00:50:30.000 Those are all interns, by the way. 1.00
00:50:31.000 Hey, tip one, know your drink, keep it simple.
00:50:34.000 Tip two, don't order water.
00:50:36.000 Drinks are water.
00:50:38.000 That's why they're called drinks.
00:50:42.000 Oh, no, no, no, no.
00:50:44.000 Tip three.
00:50:45.000 By the way, stop.
00:50:46.000 You know what I got the Blackberry Margarita from?
00:50:48.000 I told you the story, right?
00:50:49.000 We're at JFK. 0.98
00:50:50.000 We're trying to get shit-faced because we have coach seats and you can upgrade to first class if you get so wasted that coach feels like first class. 0.99
00:51:01.000 So we're trying to throw makers in our body. 0.99
00:51:04.000 And these two guys in front of us go, yeah, we get a large water, which I don't know what that is, and two Blackberry Margaritas frozen.
00:51:13.000 So the guy's like making them like we just get a two double makers neat whatever just pour just go bloop bloop stop making the blackberry margarita and just go bloop bloop with us and he goes hang on sir hang on 0.98
00:51:31.000 And they were, they poured, they got their blackberry margaritas and then I look over and there's a woman in a skirt drinking a fucking Stella out of a Stella cup. 1.00
00:51:41.000 Like, you know, those fancy kind of cups? 0.99
00:51:43.000 The goblet?
00:51:44.000 Yeah, kind of a goblet. 1.00
00:51:46.000 And I'm like, a woman is drinking a fucking beer and you faggots just ruined our flight, our six hour flight. 1.00
00:51:51.000 Wow. 1.00
00:51:52.000 With your blackberry margaritas.
00:51:54.000 Now here's a fun tip.
00:51:56.000 If you want to criticize people, be a foreigner. 1.00
00:52:02.000 Like, I saw this guy, I used to do this to cab drivers, you know, in the city where they're always like, and I'd just be like, I'm sorry, are you gay? 1.00
00:52:16.000 I wouldn't do a Paki accent to a Paki, but maybe like... 1.00
00:52:21.000 I'm sorry, are you gay? 1.00
00:52:22.000 And they go, no, I'm not gay. 0.82
00:52:25.000 What do you talk?
00:52:26.000 Oh, I'm sorry.
00:52:27.000 Uh, actually I don't, you don't need an accent.
00:52:29.000 Uh, in, in my culture, the people who talk on the phone for like hours are gays and 13 year old girls. 0.97
00:52:35.000 So I, I, I just thought you were one of those.
00:52:38.000 I don't mean any offense by it.
00:52:39.000 I'm talking to my friend about a business plan.
00:52:42.000 We're starting a company.
00:52:44.000 Oh, oh, oh, big misunderstanding.
00:52:46.000 Okay, so you're starting.
00:52:47.000 Wouldn't it make more sense if you're gonna start a company and have like a sit-down meeting with like a lawyer where you're gonna, you know, register it as an LLC or something and not just like gossip on the phone for three hours?
00:52:57.000 Make them real mad.
00:52:59.000 Or you go up to, I saw this kid at the driving range on the weekend and he was facetiming some chick going, hey, I got you something at Aeropostale today.
00:53:08.000 There's this new accent that suburban white kids in New York have that's like, you know that guy who's like, if a girl did that, I would just basically die?
00:53:18.000 It's like a surfer thing.
00:53:19.000 I think my eldest boy is starting to say it.
00:53:23.000 And so he's like, yeah, I got you something at Earl Postal. 0.95
00:53:27.000 Dude, I would so take that over if your kid had a wigger voice. 1.00
00:53:31.000 You're lucky, dude. 0.96
00:53:31.000 They're both pretty rough. 0.96
00:53:32.000 You know how many wiggers are out there? 1.00
00:53:34.000 But I didn't do this because I couldn't be bothered and I chickened out, I guess.
00:53:37.000 But I could have come over and been like, hello, excuse me.
00:53:41.000 So young men here, when they golf, when they go to the driving range, they'll speak to a lady for like 20 minutes.
00:53:47.000 Is that common here?
00:53:48.000 And now you're not aggressive.
00:53:51.000 You're just curious.
00:53:53.000 So I had a tartan blazer on when these guys ordered the blackberry margaritas.
00:53:57.000 And so I could go over to them and go, excuse me, I'm new here.
00:53:59.000 I'm just curious.
00:54:01.000 Is this normal in men ordering a blackberry margarita? 0.85
00:54:05.000 And like, well, yeah, it's kind of a tradition we have.
00:54:07.000 They were not gay, by the way. 0.99
00:54:09.000 I wish they were gay. 1.00
00:54:10.000 I spend half my day walking around New York going, please be gay. 1.00
00:54:13.000 Please be gay. 1.00
00:54:14.000 Please be gay. 1.00
00:54:15.000 Because the alternative that they're just shitty heterosexuals is very hard to deal with. 1.00
00:54:21.000 And I said, oh aye, okay. 0.99
00:54:23.000 And they go, yeah, it's kind of a tradition we have every time we come to JFK, we have blackberry margaritas.
00:54:28.000 And now I'm mad that they're not embarrassed of themselves.
00:54:32.000 Aren't you embarrassed?
00:54:34.000 Aren't you embarrassed?
00:54:36.000 I couldn't help but notice there's a woman right next to you, a fairly petite wee lassie, and she's having a beer.
00:54:43.000 Stella.
00:54:44.000 So women drink beer here and men have blackberry margaritas.
00:54:47.000 Is that the deal? 1.00
00:54:49.000 And I'm hoping that, I was hoping they'd be like, yeah, we are faggots. 1.00
00:54:52.000 Wow. 1.00
00:54:54.000 Um, no such luck.
00:54:55.000 And no, they go, yeah, not normal.
00:55:00.000 Now I'm mad that I'm not making them uncomfortable with my character. 0.96
00:55:05.000 So then I lost it and I just go, do you got a fucking spree tag too? 0.93
00:55:10.000 There's a word for that in the English language. 0.98
00:55:11.000 Walked away.
00:55:12.000 Beta! 0.86
00:55:13.000 Beta! 0.86
00:55:14.000 B-b-b-beta.
00:55:16.000 So, if you want to confront people and insult them, be a curious foreigner who's learning about this country.
00:55:32.000 Yeah, like you can go up.
00:55:33.000 Excuse me, I'm new here.
00:55:34.000 So in this country you have grown men who ride scooters.
00:55:38.000 And do you push?
00:55:39.000 No, it's battery-powered.
00:55:42.000 We charge it overnight.
00:55:43.000 Okay, so this is children's toy that you have automated and you ride children's toy.
00:55:49.000 Are men riding tricycles also in this country?
00:55:54.000 No, we don't ride trikes.
00:55:55.000 Well, there are trikes. 0.91
00:55:56.000 There's motorcycles that have three wheels.
00:55:59.000 No, it's just a scooter.
00:56:00.000 You get through traffic really fast.
00:56:01.000 It's really handy.
00:56:02.000 Oh, okay.
00:56:03.000 So if it is handy for traffic, you will use children's toys to commute.
00:56:08.000 And there is no shame in this.
00:56:10.000 Interesting. 1.00
00:56:11.000 In my country, we would stab you. 0.99
00:56:14.000 You know, sort of like this. 0.98
00:56:18.000 That's really committing to the bit.
00:56:19.000 Definitely a country full of betas.
00:56:23.000 Beta! 0.86
00:56:25.000 Alright, let's look at some fun videos.
00:56:27.000 Oh, sorry, let's go back to that.
00:56:28.000 Okay, all you're doing is delaying the tips for this guy by about a week.
00:56:32.000 And tip four, men don't order wine, alright?
00:56:36.000 We're not at a fine Italian dinner.
00:56:37.000 Okay, uh, can I see your beer list, please?
00:56:43.000 He ended up doing that HBO show Raps.
00:56:44.000 Tim!
00:57:07.000 You have a full head of hair.
00:57:09.000 Proud boys for life.
00:57:11.000 And see, it gets my eye twitchy when I don't wear the bean. 0.99
00:57:14.000 Now this is this sucks. 1.00
00:57:16.000 Shit. 1.00
00:57:17.000 What's going on with the Matrix? 0.99
00:57:20.000 I take my two fingers and I press it down going like really tight like guys guys guys this does not work three people in a row does not work look you're going oh and then we went over there and it was super awesome and this poor bastard's craning his neck what what happened then you switch over to him you go oh it's talking about this awesome story now you're going what what happened what happened these are all you know what those are all interns that I would abuse on a daily basis so I feel totally comfortable strangling them 0.81
00:57:49.000 Triangle!
00:57:51.000 When there's three guys, two guys sit, one guy stands.
00:57:55.000 Now we create a triangle here.
00:57:58.000 This works for a conversation. 1.00
00:58:00.000 And don't give me your eye-rolling shit, okay? 1.00
00:58:02.000 You checked your email all day, you can stand for a second. 1.00
00:58:05.000 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:58:06.000 Hold on.
00:58:07.000 You know why this works?
00:58:09.000 This is all true.
00:58:10.000 I'm not joking here.
00:58:12.000 This is why Kirby Enthusiasm is a good show.
00:58:15.000 He's not joking.
00:58:17.000 These are all facts.
00:58:19.000 It should come from the heart.
00:58:24.000 Tip number seven, if the game isn't on, there's no TV.
00:58:27.000 Whoa, what are you doing?
00:58:29.000 Are you showing the bartender pictures of your kids? 1.00
00:58:32.000 Jesus Christ, no one cares about your fucking kids, okay? 1.00
00:58:35.000 Now, the kids thing is when you travel, and you're at like a hotel in Cleveland, and you go, I might as well go downstairs, I'm sick of watching movies. 0.99
00:58:43.000 And then it's all other dads like you on business trips, and they're always showing, and they talk about what college their kid's going to. 0.99
00:58:53.000 Like I give a flying fuck. 0.99
00:58:56.000 If your kid's at Rikers, I might be kind of interested. 1.00
00:59:00.000 Otherwise, your kid's going to Penn State and he's taking speech pathology?
00:59:04.000 That's nice.
00:59:06.000 In other words, speech pathology exists and there's a student at it.
00:59:10.000 Okay, I figured as much.
00:59:12.000 Thanks for the tip. 1.00
00:59:14.000 Why the fuck do I give a fuck? 0.99
00:59:16.000 And then the previous thing about the TV only being on with the game, I wish all those TVs at our local, Matty, 0.99
00:59:23.000 We're not.
00:59:24.000 Why are they on 24 hours a day?
00:59:26.000 Sometimes with the Artie, he'll put on Arnie.
00:59:29.000 Sorry.
00:59:29.000 He'll put on a car show.
00:59:31.000 Yeah.
00:59:31.000 And that's nice.
00:59:32.000 They're pretty cars to look at.
00:59:33.000 And I like the way they roll them out.
00:59:35.000 Yeah.
00:59:36.000 The Barry Jackson and all that.
00:59:37.000 Yeah.
00:59:37.000 And they're all shiny and stuff and roadkill.
00:59:40.000 Those are good shows and stuff.
00:59:41.000 But it's so much of it is sports show talking heads with no subtitles.
00:59:47.000 You're just watching.
00:59:50.000 Or those even worse sports shows where they're sitting in their t-shirts and they're like this and they're not cutting to any video it's just guys talking like this and you're like why am I looking at someone with a microphone for a nose?
01:00:03.000 Exactly.
01:00:04.000 Like just turn it off!
01:00:05.000 That's the outcome of 24 hours TV.
01:00:11.000 And they're all talking like they're buddies, that you're not a buddy.
01:00:13.000 They're like, I bet Jim would probably do that. 0.99
01:00:17.000 You're like, what the fuck does that? 0.99
01:00:18.000 Do you watch sports shows? 0.99
01:00:20.000 I've seen them. 0.99
01:00:20.000 Yeah, my buddy used to watch Skip Bayless and what the fuck's his name? 0.99
01:00:23.000 The black guy. 1.00
01:00:24.000 Fucking, he looks like a duck. 1.00
01:00:27.000 You know, when you remember, it's Michael K. Michael K. Show. 1.00
01:00:29.000 Yeah, the Michael K. Show. 0.99
01:00:31.000 With their dumb backgrounds where there's like a picture of their wife or like Rage Against the Machine CD and then like a book and a fucking bobblehead. 1.00
01:00:42.000 Hello? 1.00
01:00:42.000 SHUT UP! 1.00
01:01:02.000 Tip number 10! 0.50
01:01:03.000 No more women laughing! 1.00
01:01:05.000 My God! 1.00
01:01:07.000 You sound like fucking hyenas! 1.00
01:01:09.000 No one's saying women shouldn't be allowed in bars, but for fuck's sakes, we're here to relax! 1.00
01:01:18.000 Did that feel good? 0.99
01:01:19.000 Yeah.
01:01:20.000 That seems like it feels really good.
01:01:21.000 Dude, that is a 0% joke.
01:01:23.000 I know.
01:01:23.000 Just bottled up hatred and animosity.
01:01:26.000 Yeah.
01:01:27.000 Especially, New York's bad.
01:01:29.000 If you want to hear a woman, 1.00
01:01:31.000 Rip your ears a new ass. 1.00
01:01:33.000 Go to fucking Glasgow, Scotland. 1.00
01:01:35.000 Oh my God. 1.00
01:01:37.000 The banshees, the screaming fucking banshees. 1.00
01:01:42.000 It like you, you pray to God to be, to be deaf. 1.00
01:01:46.000 I would love to just be the Glasgow bar.
01:01:47.000 Like, no, they don't even understand what we're talking about.
01:01:51.000 That's a problem with most of these chicks. 1.00
01:01:53.000 They're so loud that I prayed to God to become deaf and it worked. 1.00
01:02:05.000 Now that's a bar.
01:02:10.000 Who are the chicks? 1.00
01:02:12.000 They weren't interns.
01:02:13.000 We had to pay them.
01:02:14.000 Most of these extras will do for a hundred bucks a day.
01:02:17.000 Hey, what did you make these for?
01:02:19.000 Vans.
01:02:20.000 Oh.
01:02:21.000 The budget for them was usually about $20,000 to $30,000, and we didn't have much left over.
01:02:27.000 Maybe $5,000 or $6,000.
01:02:30.000 Maybe $8,000 on a good day.
01:02:31.000 They take about three days, two days.
01:02:34.000 That took a day.
01:02:34.000 They were ads?
01:02:35.000 They were commercials, yeah.
01:02:36.000 We put them on our site and on YouTube and stuff, and they'd go viral.
01:02:42.000 But people would say, you should do more sketches.
01:02:44.000 I'm like, I'm not spending 25 grand and getting all those extras and renting a venue and spending, you know, two days for a four minute bit.
01:02:55.000 Four minute bit.
01:02:56.000 Four minute bit.
01:02:57.000 Speaking of four minute bit, what we don't have is a four minute bit from 720, who's on the low.
01:03:02.000 What's going on, Caller?
01:03:05.000 Hi, 720.
01:03:05.000 How's it going, boys?
01:03:08.000 What's happening?
01:03:09.000 How's it going?
01:03:10.000 Hey, Rob.
01:03:11.000 So I have a pretty good cop story for you guys.
01:03:15.000 My dad's a cop.
01:03:19.000 And recently he had a guy who got fired.
01:03:22.000 Wait a minute.
01:03:22.000 Wait a minute.
01:03:22.000 Sorry to interrupt you.
01:03:23.000 Please don't tell us your dad is one of these female cops because they fucking suck at police work. 1.00
01:03:28.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:03:28.000 Oh no. 1.00
01:03:29.000 No.
01:03:29.000 Thank goodness.
01:03:30.000 Thank goodness he's not.
01:03:34.000 He's one of the old school cops who, you know, they grew up and, you know, if guys got out of line, they would... Wait a minute, didn't all cops grow up?
01:03:44.000 Oh, no, no, no, but they would tune them up.
01:03:46.000 That's how he... Oh, tune them up.
01:03:48.000 I thought you said grow up.
01:03:49.000 What city are we talking here?
01:03:52.000 We're in Denver.
01:03:54.000 Denver.
01:03:55.000 I just read a book about a Denver cop.
01:03:57.000 The Green Chameleon or something.
01:03:59.000 The Blue Chameleon?
01:04:00.000 The Blue Chameleon, yeah.
01:04:02.000 That was Denver.
01:04:03.000 That was the guy, did you know about this dude in Denver who caught someone who shot him in 1970?
01:04:09.000 He just caught him 50 years later.
01:04:13.000 This story's two years old.
01:04:15.000 Okay, so Denver, what years?
01:04:16.000 So he worked in Denver, I think he started in
01:04:22.000 Four.
01:04:23.000 But he works in a smaller municipality now.
01:04:27.000 The City of Angels.
01:04:30.000 That's not Denver.
01:04:31.000 What's that?
01:04:32.000 Denver's known as the City of Eggs.
01:04:37.000 Omelets, egg sandwiches.
01:04:38.000 Anyway, sorry, didn't drop to you.
01:04:39.000 That's kind of the bit, but let's drop that bit.
01:04:41.000 Go ahead, caller.
01:04:44.000 So his buddy, he's an older guy, you know, they grew up taking care of business, you know, they weren't afraid to get physical with
01:04:51.000 With people who are mouthing off to him. 0.83
01:04:54.000 Somehow, he got in an argument with a black lady.
01:04:59.000 She, at one point, you know, they're going back and forth at each other. 0.99
01:05:03.000 She turns around and spits on him, and it gets in his mouth. 1.00
01:05:08.000 He loses it a little bit.
01:05:11.000 He grabs her by the back of the head, shoves her head into the wall, and starts getting real physical with her. 0.99
01:05:19.000 I love these censored versions of these cop stories.
01:05:22.000 He isn't thrilled about having spit in his mouth, so he gets a little physical with her.
01:05:27.000 He's very grumpy at the time.
01:05:31.000 So his hand is on her hair, he accidentally tears off her weave, and then he's so mad right now that he proceeds to flip her off and then stomps on her weave in front of her.
01:05:48.000 Uh, they asked him to resign after this, but, uh, it's just an insane, I don't know.
01:05:55.000 I was like, how far can, can you push someone, uh, before, you know, they react to you.
01:06:02.000 I'm just amazed at it.
01:06:03.000 Dude, that, the deliverance, the delivery of that story was absolutely terrible. 0.96
01:06:09.000 It was damn terrible. 0.98
01:06:11.000 You should be ashamed of yourself. 0.99
01:06:13.000 Here's how you should do it.
01:06:14.000 First of all, don't start saying I have a great cop story.
01:06:17.000 We hang out with cops.
01:06:19.000 Our cop stories are like, I was picking up pieces of bodies and a guy jumped in front of the train and then my partner picked up the head and they go, it really is about as heavy as a bowling ball.
01:06:30.000 And then he threw it at me.
01:06:31.000 That's like a good cop story.
01:06:33.000 This is not what you should have said.
01:06:34.000 You should have said, Hey man, you know, you guys talk about cops a lot. 0.97
01:06:37.000 My, my dad was a cop and you know, it was PC even back then in the nineties, like some crazy black woman was screaming at him. 0.99
01:06:45.000 She spat in his mouth. 1.00
01:06:46.000 He lost it.
01:06:47.000 Okay.
01:06:47.000 He slammed her head against the wall and then he kept going.
01:06:50.000 He ripped her weave out.
01:06:51.000 He stomped on it, gave her the finger.
01:06:53.000 They wanted him to resign.
01:06:54.000 Not so much for the violence, but for the stamping on the weave and the finger. 1.00
01:06:58.000 Can you believe that shit? 1.00
01:07:02.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:07:03.000 Gotcha.
01:07:03.000 No, no, it makes sense.
01:07:05.000 That's how you tell that story.
01:07:06.000 So in the future, uh, tell that story much brief, much more briefly, and also never start a story with, I have a really great story.
01:07:15.000 Now we're thinking of like Star Wars.
01:07:18.000 Anyway, thanks for calling.
01:07:19.000 I have a great story about a watch.
01:07:22.000 Okay. 0.98
01:07:22.000 I'd be damned. 0.98
01:07:24.000 Let the gooks take this man's family heirloom. 1.00
01:07:28.000 What?
01:07:30.000 Pulp Fiction, dude.
01:07:30.000 Come on.
01:07:31.000 You kept the watch up his ass. 1.00
01:07:32.000 I just watched that the other day. 1.00
01:07:34.000 No fucking way. 0.99
01:07:35.000 For the first time? 0.99
01:07:35.000 For four years. 0.99
01:07:36.000 No, I was trying to... Again, the wife was away, so you get tired by the end of the day and you start like, hey, you want to watch a movie, boys?
01:07:43.000 Does it hold up for you? 1.00
01:07:45.000 No, it sucks shit. 1.00
01:07:46.000 I knew you would be a hater. 1.00
01:07:47.000 It's written by a fucking nerd. 1.00
01:07:49.000 Hater! 1.00
01:07:50.000 So much of Quentin Tarantino's stuff is just nerd fantasies. 1.00
01:07:55.000 Even that stupid Nazi movie where the Nazis are getting their dicks cut off and shoved up their ass. 1.00
01:08:02.000 Inglourious Bastards with an E? 1.00
01:08:04.000 Inglourious Bastards. 0.98
01:08:05.000 It's all nerd revenge fantasies.
01:08:07.000 Do you like that I use an E in Bastards?
01:08:09.000 Or does that annoy you?
01:08:10.000 That annoys me.
01:08:11.000 I knew it.
01:08:13.000 Kind of annoys me, to be honest.
01:08:14.000 I know he's everyone in the world.
01:08:15.000 You're not Nostradamus.
01:08:17.000 Ryan, you still got the call open.
01:08:19.000 Yeah, I know.
01:08:19.000 This is a new guy.
01:08:21.000 Jake from State Farm.
01:08:23.000 Yo.
01:08:24.000 Yo.
01:08:26.000 Yo, what's up, guys?
01:08:27.000 What's going on, Jake?
01:08:29.000 What's up, Doc?
01:08:30.000 Nothing much, man.
01:08:31.000 Living life down here.
01:08:32.000 I got... Man, I'm flushing talking to y'all.
01:08:36.000 Okay, here.
01:08:37.000 This is the thing.
01:08:38.000 I have like 70 things.
01:08:40.000 That's not gonna work.
01:08:41.000 You only get one.
01:08:42.000 You get one thing.
01:08:43.000 Be very careful, sir.
01:08:44.000 Take your best thing.
01:08:48.000 What?
01:08:49.000 Your best thing, please.
01:08:51.000 Yes.
01:08:52.000 Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:08:53.000 Top of the thing is this.
01:08:54.000 I got big decisions coming up, right?
01:08:57.000 And I just need a little bit of like oomph.
01:09:00.000 I know you always talk about like, you know, just live life, jump in, get it.
01:09:04.000 Get drunk.
01:09:05.000 Get drunk and then make the decision.
01:09:08.000 Seriously though.
01:09:09.000 Cause it takes the fear out of it and you see what you really want.
01:09:14.000 Yeah.
01:09:15.000 Yeah.
01:09:15.000 I know.
01:09:16.000 I just said, if you think too much, you know, that's it.
01:09:19.000 All right.
01:09:19.000 So what's the decision?
01:09:22.000 Uh, just moving, moving states.
01:09:24.000 Well, you're moving too.
01:09:26.000 Why are you moving and what's the question here?
01:09:28.000 God, this started out so fun.
01:09:30.000 It's not really a question.
01:09:31.000 I'm just, I'm just, I'm just talking to talk.
01:09:33.000 What state are you in and why are you leaving?
01:09:35.000 Yeah, we're going to salvage this, sir.
01:09:37.000 This is like that, one of those car shows where they're in a junkyard and they have to make this second car work.
01:09:44.000 Give me two cc's of instant cream.
01:09:46.000 Okay, we need a transmission, an engine, four wheels and a roof.
01:09:51.000 Hit them with the shot pads.
01:09:52.000 There we go. 0.99
01:09:53.000 That'll get it done.
01:09:54.000 I'm not losing you.
01:09:55.000 So what's the predicament here?
01:09:56.000 You're on borrowed time, my friend.
01:09:59.000 What's the in?
01:10:00.000 Where you going?
01:10:00.000 Yeah, where you going?
01:10:02.000 No, I'm just, um, I'm just, I got a stale job, you know, family problems, all that kind of thing.
01:10:06.000 And I'm, I'm thinking about, you know, moving up somewhere.
01:10:09.000 Wait, what if family problems?
01:10:11.000 Are you married with kids or just your mommy and daddy are mean? 0.68
01:10:14.000 No, no, no.
01:10:15.000 I'm young.
01:10:15.000 I'm young.
01:10:16.000 How old are you?
01:10:17.000 Uh, 23.
01:10:20.000 Okay, so you're still at home at 23.
01:10:23.000 Yes, exactly.
01:10:24.000 And I'm just thinking like, you know, I need to get out.
01:10:26.000 Where is he?
01:10:28.000 Where are you exactly?
01:10:31.000 I'm in Florida.
01:10:33.000 You want to move out of Florida?
01:10:37.000 Yeah, well, that's another thing too, man.
01:10:39.000 I moved down here and I never really liked it and I think I've just been living, you know, just living a parent's life.
01:10:45.000 Yeah, we're bored of this call.
01:10:47.000 Goodbye.
01:10:47.000 Thank you for calling.
01:10:52.000 You know, I'm going to do a big thing.
01:10:53.000 Just go for it, dude.
01:10:54.000 Yeah, go for it.
01:10:55.000 I was going to say stay in Florida.
01:10:57.000 Yeah.
01:10:57.000 Life decisions.
01:10:59.000 Definitely stay in Florida.
01:10:59.000 Everybody's moving to Florida.
01:11:01.000 It's too hot.
01:11:03.000 It's too hot.
01:11:04.000 That was terrible.
01:11:06.000 I'm sorry.
01:11:07.000 We got Dan on the line.
01:11:08.000 Wait, wait, hold on a sec.
01:11:08.000 Oh, I'm sorry.
01:11:09.000 Decisions.
01:11:11.000 I'm going to do a whole green screen on this.
01:11:12.000 One thing I've learned is and men are great at this and women are terrible at this. 1.00
01:11:16.000 You work with what you have.
01:11:18.000 It's like the serenity prayer, you know?
01:11:22.000 How does that go again?
01:11:24.000 Lord give me the strength to change what I can change and then the strength to know the difference.
01:11:33.000 It was written by an American guy, I think in the 1800s.
01:11:39.000 You pulling it up?
01:11:40.000 Yeah, you gotta click on it.
01:11:42.000 There's a couple versions.
01:11:44.000 And you gotta donate to their woke charity.
01:11:46.000 God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things that I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
01:11:52.000 Yeah, thanks for showing us that.
01:11:53.000 We saw the word change.
01:11:55.000 That's good.
01:11:56.000 But, like, say you're packing to go somewhere, right?
01:11:59.000 Don't start with your bag.
01:12:01.000 I call this la livre rouge.
01:12:04.000 In French, when they say the red book, they don't say the red book, they say the book red.
01:12:09.000 I'm giving this away now, but anyway.
01:12:13.000 So the problem with the red book is, you go the, then you go red.
01:12:16.000 Now there's a big pile of red.
01:12:19.000 And then you go book, and you gotta cram all that red into a book.
01:12:24.000 That's a lot of work, and it's extraneous.
01:12:27.000 You should have just started with the book,
01:12:30.000 And then poured in just the red you need.
01:12:33.000 And I remember Derek Beckles used to be my best pal, a Negro from Canada and very funny dude.
01:12:38.000 And I would say to him, Derek, writing is just talking, but you write it down.
01:12:43.000 So if you want to write a good article, just write a letter to your brother.
01:12:46.000 I know you have a brother and you get along with him and then just take out the inside jokes.
01:12:50.000 Boom.
01:12:51.000 You have a great article.
01:12:52.000 That's how you write.
01:12:54.000 You should do interviews for us.
01:12:55.000 They're so easy.
01:12:56.000 You just talk to the dude and then you write it down and you're just done.
01:13:01.000 It's a transcription of a conversation.
01:13:04.000 So we interviewed some guy for like an hour.
01:13:06.000 He transcribes it.
01:13:08.000 It's like 20,000 words.
01:13:11.000 I go, bro, we need 600.
01:13:14.000 So then he spends the entire week calling 20,000 words down to 600.
01:13:21.000 He was going the red book.
01:13:23.000 You gotta start with what you have.
01:13:25.000 Okay, what do I got here?
01:13:27.000 I got a beer, a pen, and some paper, and I need to make a boat. 0.54
01:13:31.000 This boat's gonna suck. 0.99
01:13:33.000 Let's start with that. 0.98
01:13:34.000 It's gonna be a paper boat, and this is gonna be useless.
01:13:38.000 Don't get your hopes up with the boat.
01:13:40.000 That's how you solve a problem.
01:13:41.000 And when you're packing for something, you go, all right, four days, four pairs of underwear, four pairs of socks, maybe a shirt or two, maybe a pair of pants, it's gonna be hot, blah, blah, blah.
01:13:51.000 Then you make that a pile on the bed.
01:13:54.000 Now you go get your bag.
01:13:57.000 And you, maybe it's a backpack.
01:13:59.000 Maybe it's a big bag.
01:14:00.000 You don't start with the bag.
01:14:01.000 You don't start with the book and fill in the red.
01:14:04.000 So when you have a problem like, where am I going to?
01:14:06.000 And you live in Florida.
01:14:08.000 You're like, okay, what do I want?
01:14:10.000 What's my job gonna be?
01:14:11.000 What are my parameters?
01:14:12.000 What am I looking for?
01:14:13.000 Do I want excitement?
01:14:14.000 Do I want nature?
01:14:15.000 If I want nature, I go to Montana.
01:14:16.000 If I want excitement, maybe New Orleans.
01:14:19.000 And then you slowly work backwards from there.
01:14:22.000 Every time I talk to people on the phone about a problem, I always go, let's start at the end.
01:14:27.000 And the end is like, and this happens with proud boys a lot.
01:14:30.000 Look, the end is it doesn't matter if he's right and you're wrong. 0.99
01:14:34.000 The real thing is he wants to kill you.
01:14:36.000 So you can either fight him or get out of town. 0.94
01:14:39.000 It doesn't matter who's justified, who's not justified. 0.99
01:14:42.000 The point is that he's, he doesn't want to negotiate and he fucking hates your guts. 0.99
01:14:47.000 You know, you start with the basic tools of the problem and don't worry about the other shit. 0.99
01:14:53.000 People are always like, yeah, well, the whole reason we got into this thing in the first place is because he thinks, no, no, no, that doesn't matter anymore. 0.90
01:14:59.000 That ship has sailed.
01:15:00.000 That's not a tool.
01:15:03.000 There's three tools here.
01:15:04.000 These pages, this pen, this beer.
01:15:07.000 We can talk about why they got here till the cows come home.
01:15:10.000 That's irrelevant.
01:15:12.000 What are the tools?
01:15:13.000 And I've noticed this with women. 1.00
01:15:15.000 Last year, we went to some baseball tournament and I banked a bunch of shows.
01:15:19.000 So I had a whole week off.
01:15:20.000 All the other dads had to go back to their jobs, but I had taken a week off.
01:15:25.000 So I was with chicks for three days at this big house we rented for the baseball tournament.
01:15:30.000 And they would talk about problems and I would get involved.
01:15:32.000 I told you this before.
01:15:34.000 I'd get involved and I'd be like, okay, look, it's very, it's very basic here.
01:15:38.000 He's not paying child support.
01:15:39.000 How much money does he have?
01:15:40.000 How much money can you expect?
01:15:41.000 Okay, well, you can either criminally charge him for not doing child support, but can you get blood from a stone?
01:15:46.000 And I would tell them the basics of the problem.
01:15:48.000 I'd solve their problems.
01:15:50.000 And they, I realized they don't want that.
01:15:52.000 No.
01:15:52.000 They want to kvetch.
01:15:54.000 They want drama.
01:15:55.000 They want the drama.
01:15:55.000 They want to complain.
01:15:56.000 They want the smoke.
01:15:57.000 They're not looking for solutions.
01:15:58.000 But men are like, like say you have stage 4 cancer. 0.99
01:16:01.000 That's the same as all this.
01:16:03.000 Okay.
01:16:04.000 There's chemo.
01:16:05.000 What are my options with chemo?
01:16:06.000 What are the odds I'm going to beat it?
01:16:08.000 The odds are 3 out of 4.
01:16:10.000 Probably should get chemo.
01:16:12.000 The odds are 99%.
01:16:12.000 You're not going to beat it.
01:16:14.000 Don't get the chemo. 0.96
01:16:15.000 Die gracefully. 0.99
01:16:16.000 That's it. 0.98
01:16:17.000 You can
01:16:18.000 Cry about it?
01:16:19.000 That you got stage four cancer?
01:16:21.000 Okay. 1.00
01:16:21.000 Cry like a bitch. 1.00
01:16:23.000 You still have stage four cancer? 1.00
01:16:24.000 Are you farther ahead?
01:16:27.000 I had fart cancer and I get rid of it every day.
01:16:30.000 That's terminal.
01:16:31.000 You had fart cancer?
01:16:32.000 I had it about two minutes ago and then I let one rip.
01:16:37.000 I think you're confusing fart cancer with just farts. 0.76
01:16:41.000 No, there's cancer in them farts, boy.
01:16:47.000 That's maybe the title of the show, too. 0.64
01:16:48.000 Maybe Cobalt. 0.94
01:16:51.000 There's cancer in them farts. 0.87
01:16:52.000 You sound like the gold hunters. 0.96
01:16:55.000 They're cancer hunters.
01:16:56.000 They go through farts.
01:16:57.000 These hillbillies with turned up cowboy hats.
01:17:00.000 So we haven't said goodbye to the freebie boys.
01:17:03.000 We have.
01:17:03.000 I mean, I feel like with no sponsors, it's the Wild Wild West is Eric Adams.
01:17:08.000 Oh, shit. 1.00
01:17:08.000 Eric Adams. 1.00
01:17:09.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00
01:17:10.000 Project Veritas just dropped a bomb tonight, two hours ago. 1.00
01:17:15.000 One of his assistants was talking to a member of Project Veritas and the assistant noticed, this is an Eric Adams assistant, that Eric has no idea what the fuck he's doing. 0.98
01:17:27.000 Surprise, surprise. 0.98
01:17:28.000 And New York City is broke and
01:17:33.000 The whole sending illegals thing here, according to the secret behind the scenes administration, was an absolute smashing success.
01:17:45.000 New York does not have the resources to handle these immigrants. 1.00
01:17:48.000 They were totally humiliated by the experiment and Governor Abbott, is it, who sent them up here, was totally correct to do that because he showed what he has to go through with these people and how no one else could handle what he has to deal with.
01:18:03.000 Close that lower third on the video.
01:18:05.000 I have to play it?
01:18:10.000 I think what Abbott was doing has proven effective.
01:18:13.000 It's flooded our system.
01:18:14.000 I think the objects of this are bad for Biden and they're bad for the mayor.
01:18:19.000 And I don't know that Eric Adams is capable enough to navigate it.
01:18:23.000 As nearly 20,000 migrants have been bused to the Big Apple on orders of Texas Governor Greg Abbott, our undercover journalist at Project Veritas sought to find out what really is going on inside the New York City mayoral office of Eric Adams.
01:18:44.000 Isn't it a coincidence that Veritas has been slaying like never before and they've totally gained mainstream acceptance.
01:18:52.000 I would say within the past six months you hear people cite Veritas like AP or even better not even cite them.
01:19:02.000 So they'll say Eric Adams A deems Eric Adams incompetent, and you'll click on the link and you'll see it's Veritas, but it's just news now.
01:19:10.000 That's huge.
01:19:11.000 It used to be this radical right-wing group says this happened, but they edit videos, blah, blah, blah.
01:19:18.000 Now it's just this happened.
01:19:20.000 And if you want to check our source, well, it's Veritas.
01:19:23.000 So they've become AP.
01:19:25.000 And right when that happened, they go to court and a judge says you're not allowed to misrepresent yourself during an investigation.
01:19:32.000 Yeah, it's crazy.
01:19:33.000 What a quinky dink! 0.94
01:19:34.000 Right when they become legitimate, the authorities and law enforcement, or sorry, the justice system, seeks to delegitimize them.
01:19:44.000 What a quinky dink. 0.97
01:19:45.000 Steve Bannon, when he gets at his most effective, is now in court.
01:19:50.000 Roger Stone, most effective, now in court.
01:19:52.000 Proud Boys, most effective, going to jail.
01:19:56.000 You know when you're being persecuted that you're over the target.
01:19:59.000 Oh, there's more to come.
01:20:01.000 I was with them earlier.
01:20:03.000 Yeah, that's the great thing about Veritas too.
01:20:07.000 It's always a nothing burger at the beginning.
01:20:09.000 Yeah.
01:20:09.000 Oh, Eric Adams is incompetent?
01:20:11.000 Yeah, we know.
01:20:12.000 Yeah, I was with Bowling Balls and our buddy.
01:20:15.000 Yeah.
01:20:16.000 I want, um... The only thing that could really fry Eric Adams... I think what should fry Eric Adams is corruption and incompetence.
01:20:23.000 Unfortunately, that's not salacious enough for modern society. 1.00
01:20:27.000 He needs to be fucking someone underage. 1.00
01:20:29.000 Even if he's... I think he's gay, by the way. 1.00
01:20:32.000 I think he fucks dudes. 1.00
01:20:33.000 But that's not juicy enough. 0.99
01:20:34.000 It has to be underage dudes. 1.00
01:20:37.000 Or they have to have been raped, I'm afraid. 1.00
01:20:41.000 Up yours, woke moralists. 0.99
01:20:43.000 We'll see who cancels who.
01:20:46.000 There you go.
01:20:47.000 Oof.
01:20:49.000 That's a low-T thread if I've ever seen one.
01:20:51.000 Meet Chris Boff, one of Adam's advanced team staffers.
01:20:56.000 Watch him say what he really thinks about his boss, the mayor of New York City, and how he is handling, or mishandling, the chaos of the migrant crisis.
01:21:04.000 He was de Blasio's assistant, too.
01:21:08.000 Which makes me very nervous as someone who is paid by the city.
01:21:12.000 Uh, we're anticipating like a $10 billion budget deficit by 2026 right now.
01:21:17.000 There was free money from the government for the last two years because of COVID.
01:21:21.000 All of that's gone.
01:21:23.000 And then our revenues just aren't in a place to support a $110 billion budget.
01:21:26.000 I thought Eric's budget was a hun- oh yeah, $110 billion.
01:21:29.000 $110 billion, yeah.
01:21:30.000 Dude, can we just stop and look at that?
01:21:32.000 $110 billion.
01:21:37.000 On a planet with 7 billion people on it.
01:21:42.000 That is everyone in the entire world giving Eric Adams 14 bucks.
01:21:49.000 Well, didn't de Blasio give his wife like 800 million?
01:21:52.000 Yeah.
01:21:52.000 For some like project that never went anywhere?
01:21:55.000 No, no dude.
01:21:55.000 I think that was, wasn't that 80 million?
01:21:59.000 How much was Thrive?
01:21:59.000 I think it was like 800 million or something.
01:22:01.000 Strive or something like that?
01:22:02.000 Thrive.
01:22:04.000 Oh, Thrive.
01:22:04.000 Yeah, that's what it was.
01:22:07.000 What was the budget for... Oh, now I'm turning my phone off.
01:22:09.000 I'm such a boomer.
01:22:13.000 What was the budget for New York City's Thrive?
01:22:17.000 Annual of $225 million.
01:22:18.000 Yeah, okay.
01:22:20.000 So it's annual $225, but it approached a billion.
01:22:23.000 No, I said it cost a billion.
01:22:24.000 Yeah, that's nothing.
01:22:25.000 I did $850 million.
01:22:26.000 That's nothing.
01:22:27.000 Eric Adams wants $100 billion.
01:22:29.000 Yeah.
01:22:30.000 He wants 100 Thrives. 0.94
01:22:33.000 Yeah, that's scary.
01:22:35.000 So there's a baby in East Timor right now.
01:22:40.000 With little beads on its head and a little blanket that's dyed different colors.
01:22:45.000 And there's a monk holding it.
01:22:46.000 And Eric Adams is there going, yo, uh, this ain't the Wild Wild West.
01:22:50.000 I'm going to need $14.92 from you and you and you.
01:22:56.000 And they're like, what?
01:22:57.000 No, I hate New York City.
01:22:59.000 And I barely even know where it is.
01:23:01.000 Look, sir, I don't make the rules.
01:23:03.000 Yeah.
01:23:03.000 That's a hundred billion.
01:23:06.000 110 billion.
01:23:07.000 What?
01:23:08.000 Like 14 bucks is a lot of money to everyone in the world. 1.00
01:23:14.000 You go to a fucking, a random Russian homeless person. 1.00
01:23:18.000 Yeah. 1.00
01:23:18.000 That's you too. 1.00
01:23:19.000 14 bucks.
01:23:20.000 That's crazy.
01:23:21.000 For New York City.
01:23:22.000 I mean, what's justification?
01:23:23.000 It's just insane.
01:23:26.000 What is a hundred billion divided by 7 million?
01:23:29.000 7 billion.
01:23:32.000 What?
01:23:33.000 Oh, New York City.
01:23:34.000 Yeah.
01:23:34.000 So every New Yorker gets $14,000.
01:23:36.000 So every New Yorker gets $1,000 a month, just free.
01:23:45.000 It's turning out to be like the Wild Wild West.
01:23:48.000 But I'll tell you what, you guys are going to be dreaming of Genie to turn what could have been the Jetsons into the Flintstones.
01:23:56.000 Does Andy Dufresne get $14,000?
01:23:58.000 Well, I'd like to say that... Nicole Dufresne?
01:24:02.000 Andy Dufresne.
01:24:03.000 I'd like to say that Andy got $14 million.
01:24:06.000 Wait, who's Andy Dufresne?
01:24:07.000 Are you kidding me, boy?
01:24:10.000 It's the guy who broke out of prison.
01:24:12.000 You better lean on me.
01:24:13.000 Oh, the Shawshank Redemption.
01:24:15.000 Shawshank Redemption.
01:24:16.000 Yeah.
01:24:16.000 Yeah.
01:24:17.000 Okay.
01:24:17.000 Cookie crisps.
01:24:18.000 Cookie crisps.
01:24:20.000 Let's get back to the very test thing.
01:24:25.000 I think that's the annual city budget right now.
01:24:28.000 Can't you just raise the taxes?
01:24:30.000 The mayor doesn't want to.
01:24:31.000 Is he just eating plain noodles?
01:24:33.000 That's the big scoop right there for me.
01:24:36.000 When you go to a restaurant, order something you can't make at home.
01:24:41.000 That's why I always get mussels.
01:24:43.000 Because I can't really make mussels.
01:24:45.000 A good cheeseburger is hard to make at home, too. 0.99
01:24:47.000 You gotta get the bread, all that shit. 1.00
01:24:49.000 It's a pain in the ass. 0.99
01:24:50.000 But if there's one thing you can make at home, it's just noodles with what? 0.99
01:24:55.000 Butter?
01:24:55.000 And what's the coaster on top of the thing mean?
01:24:57.000 What does that mean?
01:24:58.000 Where you put the coaster on top of your wine glass?
01:24:59.000 Oh, that's when you go away.
01:25:00.000 When you go pee.
01:25:01.000 He's not peeing.
01:25:03.000 Yeah, maybe she forgot to take it off.
01:25:05.000 I mean, that is an option.
01:25:07.000 Or maybe that's another level of undercover.
01:25:09.000 I'm not here right now.
01:25:10.000 I'm away from the table.
01:25:12.000 Like, reduce services.
01:25:13.000 What do you mean?
01:25:15.000 Like, just not give people enough stuff.
01:25:17.000 Like what?
01:25:18.000 Uh, I don't know.
01:25:19.000 Pick something.
01:25:20.000 Department for the Aging.
01:25:21.000 Immigrants.
01:25:21.000 Like, we're housing immigrants right now from Texas.
01:25:24.000 It would be very easy to be like, nope, not anymore.
01:25:27.000 How much money are we spending on that?
01:25:31.000 juicy juicy enough for my taste but this is phase one in it all right I guess we're going behind the paywall now it it seems weird because the previous notion was sponsors paid for the free part and then we go behind and we were we hang out with our bros I mean like Nita fashions oh yeah Nita fashions is paying for this
01:25:56.000 segment here.
01:25:56.000 Nita Fashions at what's the URL?
01:25:58.000 NitaFashions.com?
01:26:00.000 NitaFashions.com.
01:26:01.000 N-I-T-A-Fashions.com. 0.90
01:26:03.000 I was introduced to Nita Fashions when I worked at Fox News.
01:26:06.000 And a guy was going there to meet the tailors at the hotel.
01:26:10.000 And I go, I don't understand.
01:26:11.000 You meet a tailor at a hotel.
01:26:13.000 Why don't you just go to the tailor?
01:26:14.000 Oh, the tailor's in Hong Kong.
01:26:16.000 Oh, so you give money to China?
01:26:19.000 Well, not really.
01:26:19.000 And if you want custom shirts and suits here in America, they're like seven grand for a suit.
01:26:25.000 Oh, that's not, I'm not buying a car to put on my body.
01:26:29.000 And he goes, Hong Kong, the price are reasonable.
01:26:31.000 You get a shirt for 50 bucks to, I don't know, 200 bucks.
01:26:35.000 You get a suit from 700 bucks to like 3000 bucks.
01:26:39.000 It's up to you how much money you spend.
01:26:42.000 And you go there, they build, like Prince had a bust.
01:26:47.000 And he had people designing him clothes every day and they'd fit it on the bus and he'd just come home and there'd be like a new outfit.
01:26:53.000 That's like Need of Fashions.
01:26:55.000 They measure your neck, your inseam, your waist, your back, everything. 0.79
01:27:00.000 And then they have a template of you and then when you choose these fabrics and shit, they make them and the next thing you know you're wearing pajamas, but it's a three-piece suit. 0.80
01:27:11.000 That's where I met them. 0.91
01:27:12.000 That's the New York Hotel.
01:27:15.000 And I go, this sounds amazing.
01:27:17.000 He goes, yeah, dude, it's for cheap rich guys.
01:27:21.000 This is how rich people stay rich.
01:27:24.000 They save money.
01:27:27.000 So you go there and they measure you up or you can do it on a Zoom.
01:27:31.000 Contact them on Instagram and do it through Zoom.
01:27:34.000 And then they get your template.
01:27:35.000 And by the way, if there's anything wrong with your suit or your shirt or anything you buy, you FedEx it to them and then they fix it and send it back.
01:27:42.000 They understand.
01:27:43.000 That being on the other end of the world is a little bit inconvenient.
01:27:48.000 So they'll fix anything that goes wrong.
01:27:51.000 And I have, every time you see me wear a suit on the show, I should say 99% of the time, it's Anita fashion suit.
01:27:57.000 You choose the lining, you choose the shape of the pockets, you choose the buttons.
01:28:04.000 It's the male equivalent to a spa and you are pampered as such.
01:28:08.000 Men don't want spas. 1.00
01:28:09.000 I don't want to sit in a mud bath.
01:28:11.000 I don't want to be in a hot sauna. 0.99
01:28:14.000 I don't want a fucking massage. 1.00
01:28:16.000 I don't want some stranger touching my toes. 0.99
01:28:18.000 But I do want to sit there and discuss fabrics that would be comfortable for me.
01:28:23.000 Alright, thank you Anita Fashions for sponsoring the show.
01:28:25.000 Our only sponsor left!
01:28:28.000 Since we fired our ad guy.
01:28:30.000 I'm going to go pee now and we'll be right back.
01:28:33.000 Although if you're not a subscriber, you will not be seeing us come back.
01:28:38.000 And again, folks, relentless entertainment here.
01:28:40.000 $10 a month, a hundred bucks a year.
01:28:43.000 You get two months free if you go for the whole year and it's, there's never a dull moment.
01:28:47.000 You never know what's going to happen.
01:28:49.000 I could get arrested.
01:28:51.000 We could have a 10-day marathon.
01:28:53.000 You never know what's gonna happen tomorrow.
01:28:56.000 It's exciting news in a comical way, and it's a lot of fun.
01:29:01.000 So get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
01:29:22.000 I don't know. 1.00
01:29:53.000 They somehow reconcile me with their stupidity. 1.00
01:30:26.000 What are your thoughts on The Bird, which is the bald eagle? 1.00
01:30:28.000 I think it's really great.
01:30:49.000 Come on, man!
01:30:50.000 I don't tear up for sad things.
01:30:56.000 I tear up for happy things.