Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #180 - ZIGGY'S ASSHOLE

00:00:14.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McKinnon!

00:00:20.000 It's all the same Only the name will change Every day

00:00:42.000 It seems we're wasting away Another place Where the faces are so cold I'll drive all night Just to get back home I'm a cowboy On a steel horse I ride 1.00

00:01:08.000 What a gay fucking song that is. 1.00

00:01:14.000 Remember the other day when we were talking about how Back in Black has gay lyrics? 1.00

00:01:17.000 Like, I'm a power pack! 0.93

00:01:19.000 Yep.

00:01:20.000 Of course, ACDC rock.

00:01:22.000 No one's denying that. 0.72

00:01:23.000 But the lyrics to Back in Black are kind of gay, out of context.

00:01:27.000 This song, I was in the car the other day and I'm like, what?

00:01:32.000 I never really listened to it before as an adult.

00:01:35.000 You're a cowboy?

00:01:37.000 Imagine he was hanging out with ranchers, yellowstone dudes, and they're all talking about how much cattle they wrangle, and he's like, I'm kind of a cowboy too, but I ride a steel horse. 0.99

00:01:51.000 They go, what? 1.00

00:01:52.000 Shut the fuck up, fag. 1.00

00:01:54.000 With his big hair. 1.00

00:01:57.000 You know those guys each carry like a suitcase of

00:02:00.000 Of hair products everywhere they go.

00:02:02.000 Well, they don't carry it.

00:02:04.000 Well, Chris Naracco from Jackass, he interviewed one of the dudes at the early Jackass days and the guy had like a case that had a little tripod stand and it's got the spray and the stuff that he does.

00:02:14.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:02:14.000 Lots of product.

00:02:17.000 Welcome to GOML Live.

00:02:19.000 We're here with cops and criminals.

00:02:21.000 We, of course, have our co-host, Matty O'Dell.

00:02:23.000 What's up, everybody?

00:02:24.000 Good to see you.

00:02:24.000 We're both wearing shirts that say we don't break for queefs, meaning if we are fornicating

00:02:30.000 Horsing around, and there's any kind of pussy fart, it does not even register. 1.00

00:02:34.000 Non-existent. 0.99

00:02:35.000 Just plow through. 0.89

00:02:36.000 Just keep driving.

00:02:36.000 We don't even pause and go, whoopsie.

00:02:38.000 There's no comment, there's no talking, there's no eyebrow movement whatsoever.

00:02:42.000 As if it never happened.

00:02:44.000 Also, in the Patriot box, we have the cops.

00:02:46.000 We have John, the cop.

00:02:49.000 NYPD, South Bronx.

00:02:50.000 We have Dickman, the state trooper.

00:02:53.000 There's also NYPD housing, bomb squad, canine unit.

00:03:00.000 I spent all day putting that flag behind you.

00:03:02.000 I think it looks pretty good.

00:03:04.000 Yeah, it's nice. 1.00

00:03:06.000 But we can still see your fucking glasses in the reflection. 1.00

00:03:11.000 Those are special sound effects. 0.99

00:03:15.000 But I'm sorry, I just got to dwell for a second here.

00:03:20.000 Can you pull up the lyrics to Wanted, Dead or Alive? 0.97

00:03:23.000 I don't know how long I could let you shit on our great pastime of rock and roll, but sure. 0.99

00:03:28.000 Oh, I'm shitting on rock and roll? 1.00

00:03:30.000 Yes. 0.98

00:03:30.000 I know you Puerto Ricans think anyone with a guitar rocks. 0.98

00:03:36.000 He does rock though.

00:03:39.000 But the video is just as great because he's like singing on stage, he's like with his fist out and then it's like black and white clips of him

00:03:48.000 With some guy holding his limo door open, going on the private jet, on the tour bus, banging the window like he's in jail. 0.97

00:03:56.000 It's like, are you fucking kidding me? 0.87

00:03:58.000 And wanted means, not anyone wants to kill him, wanted means people want me. 0.99

00:04:03.000 Like fucking Sally Fields or whatever going, you like me, you really like me. 0.99

00:04:08.000 Oh, it's terrible. 1.00

00:04:09.000 Dude, you're cringe.

00:04:11.000 Blow it up here, only the name will change. 0.99

00:04:16.000 You're in a fucking very popular pop rock band and you do a lot of touring. 1.00

00:04:22.000 You're not a fucking cowboy, dude. 1.00

00:04:25.000 You ride private planes. 1.00

00:04:27.000 You hit it big.

00:04:28.000 You won the jackpot.

00:04:30.000 You're basically a Hollywood actor.

00:04:31.000 He's got a loaded six string on his back.

00:04:34.000 It's not for days.

00:04:36.000 The people I meet always go their separate ways.

00:04:42.000 You can always tell the day by the bus.

00:04:43.000 You just get wasted on private planes and go and play shows and basically karaoke your own songs and you're a cowboy?

00:04:51.000 And you don't ride the horse, you sit in it.

00:04:54.000 And people bring you champagne.

00:04:55.000 Maybe he's a brokeback mountain cowboy.

00:05:00.000 I do have to admit this is bad.

00:05:02.000 Comparing your guitar to a gun, a loaded six-string on my back.

00:05:05.000 A loaded six-string!

00:05:06.000 Because there's a six-shooter. 1.00

00:05:07.000 Why don't you go up to like some fucking street thug in the South Bronx and be like, you know, we're kind of the same. 1.00

00:05:14.000 You shoot bullets, I shoot notes. 1.00

00:05:16.000 You kill your ops, I rock my obs. 1.00

00:05:22.000 Wait, I need more. 0.99

00:05:24.000 I play for keeps?

00:05:25.000 What do you mean?

00:05:26.000 Because you might not make it back!

00:05:28.000 You might die on stage from what, old age?

00:05:31.000 Well, the way the aviation is, the private plane might crash.

00:05:35.000 I've seen a million faces and I've rocked them all! 1.00

00:05:38.000 What a dork. 0.99

00:05:39.000 This is the cringiest poem I've ever read in my life. 0.99

00:05:43.000 And if you read it out of context, and it wasn't a hit song, you'd go, this guy is a deluded megalomaniac.

00:05:50.000 Aren't you embarrassed?

00:05:52.000 Anyway, it's an embarrassing song.

00:05:54.000 But um... This is a cowboy song.

00:05:57.000 Okay.

00:06:02.000 I don't know, I'm getting so old that everything is embarrassing.

00:06:06.000 Yeah.

00:06:06.000 Like dancing looks absurd to me.

00:06:09.000 Rap is silly, and that badass song, when that first came out, I was like, yeah, Kid Rock is a cowboy, baby! 0.99

00:06:18.000 Now I'm just like, fucking grow up, dude. 1.00

00:06:21.000 He's friends with Proud Boys, how dare you? 0.99

00:06:23.000 There's a good man here.

00:06:25.000 Music in general is embarrassing.

00:06:27.000 We were talking about this the other day, metal, where they have studded wristbands, what?

00:06:32.000 Well I was like Judas Priest. 0.98

00:06:35.000 You want to kill people? 1.00

00:06:37.000 Deal fentanyl. 1.00

00:06:38.000 That's satanic. 0.95

00:06:40.000 You want to be a demon? 0.86

00:06:41.000 Or work for Pfizer. 0.98

00:06:43.000 You want to be a demon? 0.99

00:06:44.000 OD people. 1.00

00:06:45.000 That's fucking dark. 1.00

00:06:48.000 Fucking growing your hair long and going yeah on stage. 1.00

00:06:53.000 Except balls to the wall. 1.00

00:06:55.000 So as you know the way this show goes is it's free.

00:06:59.000 We got a couple sponsors. 1.00

00:07:02.000 We shoot the shit. 1.00

00:07:03.000 We take super chats. 1.00

00:07:04.000 We take calls.

00:07:04.000 We read letters.

00:07:06.000 And we talk to our three co-hosts.

00:07:10.000 And I don't know what Ryan is.

00:07:12.000 Detective Shitty.

00:07:13.000 A fourth co-host.

00:07:14.000 A cowboy.

00:07:14.000 He's a cowboy.

00:07:16.000 I'm a cowboy!

00:07:18.000 On the vidcast I do!

00:07:21.000 And I want it!

00:07:23.000 I got bought it! 1.00

00:07:24.000 By baby monsters like you! 0.99

00:07:27.000 I'll ride the volume! 0.99

00:07:29.000 If you see stuff I'll edit you! 0.96

00:07:31.000 I got a gun in my face! 1.00

00:07:34.000 It's a fucking Japanese microphone! 1.00

00:07:39.000 I could die at any moment! 1.00

00:07:41.000 If the mic like shot me somehow!

00:07:46.000 I'm a cowboy!

00:07:49.000 You're a famous movie star, dude. 1.00

00:07:52.000 Is Brad Pitt a cowboy on his fucking steel horse? 1.00

00:07:56.000 I got a printy! 1.00

00:07:57.000 Printy! 0.99

00:08:01.000 I'm wanted.

00:08:02.000 What up, printy?

00:08:03.000 People want me. 0.99

00:08:04.000 I'm actually impressed Ryan doesn't have his hair in his fucking face today. 0.99

00:08:08.000 Oh, thank you for reminding me. 0.99

00:08:09.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:08:12.000 Should've kept my mouth shut.

00:08:13.000 It was really in rare form in the latest Matty's Shitty Little Kitchen.

00:08:17.000 It was covering my chin, basically. 0.99

00:08:19.000 Yeah, it was, uh, it was pathetic. 0.98

00:08:20.000 That's annoying. 0.97

00:08:21.000 Along with the delicious juices of the meal, of course.

00:08:26.000 I'm like a cowboy with juices dribbling down my chin. 0.98

00:08:31.000 That sounded very gay. 0.98

00:08:32.000 It ain't come. 0.62

00:08:35.000 BeardFat would like to thank the Get Off My Lawn viewers for the orders streaming in over the last several weeks.

00:08:39.000 They almost can't keep up.

00:08:40.000 Remember to enter promo code GAVIN for 15% off and there's always free shipping on orders over $40.

00:08:46.000 The New Year's sale is still going on but it's changed slightly because of the amount of orders coming in.

00:08:51.000 The sale is now two boxes of grunt cups

00:08:55.000 No, those are the, like, Keurig-style coffee pods that they make.

00:08:58.000 They fit in any Keurig.

00:09:01.000 For $29.99, the change is that now the Zero Dark 30 12-ounce bags of coffee, whole beans or ground, are now $9.99.

00:09:10.000 They're practically giving them away.

00:09:13.000 This is the... I got a letter in the mailbag from a young man named Ziggy from Florida, and he was telling me about how much he enjoys BeardVet coffee.

00:09:21.000 How would you feel about being called Ziggy?

00:09:24.000 What's the Ziggy a nickname of?

00:09:26.000 ZigWolt? 0.99

00:09:27.000 Ziggy Marley. 0.61

00:09:28.000 Bob Marley's son.

00:09:30.000 So it's your name, it's not a nickname?

00:09:32.000 Maybe he named him after, you know, a pack of Ziggy's where you roll a blunt at.

00:09:36.000 Oh yeah, he definitely was named.

00:09:38.000 Ziggy. 0.99

00:09:39.000 Hi, this is my son Joint.

00:09:40.000 He was the joint roller of the crew.

00:09:43.000 Probably stoned when he named him.

00:09:44.000 This is my son Budweiser.

00:09:48.000 Here's the letter we got.

00:09:50.000 Hey G-Dog, Matty, and that other guy, thanks for recommending Beard Vic Coffee.

00:09:53.000 A couple weeks ago, you said, I know you're buying coffee, so buy from someone that supports people like us.

00:09:58.000 Well, I really like that point.

00:09:59.000 That night, I bought the two and a half pound bag that they have on special.

00:10:02.000 It's easily better than what I was getting before from other coffee companies.

00:10:06.000 BeardVet is swagged out, and on God, it's cheaper.

00:10:09.000 Especially with the promo code GAVIN.

00:10:10.000 It's really good quality coffee.

00:10:12.000 It doesn't give me the caffeine jitters that I sometimes get when I drink too much coffee from other whack communist coffee brands. 0.86

00:10:18.000 This letter's sounding a little too good.

00:10:22.000 Who's that from?

00:10:22.000 Sir Ziggy?

00:10:23.000 We-r-la-dee-da. 1.00

00:10:27.000 Are we committing fraud here?

00:10:29.000 And it's a huge plus that it's American-made and veteran-owned.

00:10:33.000 Bet.

00:10:34.000 Nothing wrong with that.

00:10:36.000 I also bought some beard oil because I was curious, beard curious you might say, and it actually does the job really well.

00:10:42.000 I usually get dry skin under my beard and it's a lot better now that I've been using the BeardVet beard oil.

00:10:46.000 BeardVet is busting, no cap, for real.

00:10:48.000 Okay, I think our ad guy wrote that letter to himself.

00:10:52.000 He's so move, we don't know what he's planning.

00:10:56.000 We love BeardVet, don't get me wrong, and we love our new ad guy, he's competent, but I think I caught you.

00:11:03.000 This is now new.

00:11:04.000 We're done with that letter.

00:11:05.000 I wanted to share that with you, not only to highlight how much people are enjoying BeardVet products, but also because I would please request that you don't ever say swagged out on God, bus, and no cap.

00:11:15.000 But Sean, did you write a fake letter to us and then criticize the letter for having weird slang in it?

00:11:23.000 That's, wow, that's meta.

00:11:25.000 Wow.

00:11:25.000 You guys working bits in the reads.

00:11:27.000 And now he's really crapping on this anonymous dude who wrote the letter saying,

00:11:33.000 What are you doing?

00:11:34.000 Your great-grandparents went off to fight in World War II at age 17.

00:11:38.000 They lied about their age, and here you are saying, on God, no cap, for real, for real.

00:11:43.000 I'm glad he likes the coffee, but what the hell is that?

00:11:46.000 Anyway, so he's writing a script.

00:11:48.000 First, he writes a fake letter.

00:11:50.000 And then he writes a script for me to criticize the fake letter.

00:11:53.000 This sounds like weed thoughts.

00:11:56.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:11:57.000 This is the kind of thing you do when you're stoned.

00:11:58.000 You go, oh, I have a great idea, man.

00:12:01.000 Everything has one more layer than it should.

00:12:02.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:12:03.000 I'm going to write a fake letter that hits all, because we've got to hit the points.

00:12:07.000 Does he have a son named Ziggy?

00:12:09.000 What?

00:12:09.000 Does he have a son named Ziggy?

00:12:12.000 No, actually, when I met him, he was with a broad who was like seven years older and was infertile and didn't want kids. 0.79

00:12:21.000 And I said, what are you doing, dude?

00:12:22.000 Dump her. 1.00

00:12:24.000 You know what I heard?

00:12:25.000 A lot of men are actually the problem with infertility and it gets attributed very commonly to women because it is common but there's a chance it could be the guy.

00:12:36.000 Well in my marriage it was the woman because she wouldn't open her legs. 1.00

00:12:40.000 Oh that does, yes.

00:12:43.000 Enter promo code Gavin for 15% off beardvet.com.

00:12:46.000 Weird read Sean, weird read.

00:12:48.000 Yeah, keep it less meta. 0.97

00:12:51.000 And it's like paranoia, they're going to think it was an inside job, so let me shit on the guy I just made. 0.96

00:12:56.000 Then they'll think it's real. 0.98

00:12:57.000 No, you're right.

00:12:58.000 You're right, Detective Shitty.

00:13:00.000 Thank you.

00:13:00.000 It was definitely something where he goes, I hit the points, but I make it a letter, and then I have Gavin make fun of my letter that I wrote that I faked.

00:13:11.000 Yeah.

00:13:12.000 And they're not going to call it out.

00:13:14.000 It's an ad.

00:13:14.000 I'm looking for the Ryan was right bumper, but it's played so seldom.

00:13:18.000 Oh, I got it.

00:13:19.000 Okay, here we go.

00:13:21.000 Is there such a thing?

00:13:22.000 It exists.

00:13:23.000 I don't know why.

00:13:32.000 I wasn't wrong.

00:13:38.000 By the way, we have a new segment on the show called Cop Talk.

00:13:42.000 And Ryan, if you check the... If you check... Whoa, simmer down.

00:13:48.000 If you check the mailbag, you can just put in Cop Talk and you'll hear everyone who sent in the various songs.

00:13:54.000 I'll do so choose.

00:13:57.000 What?

00:13:57.000 That's not a phrase?

00:13:58.000 Uh, no.

00:13:59.000 It's not a phrase.

00:14:00.000 Here's one of the songs.

00:14:07.000 That's awesome.

00:14:24.000 That's a six I'd say out of ten.

00:14:25.000 What?

00:14:26.000 I felt an eight energy from there, but maybe you've been privy to some better ones.

00:14:30.000 Let's see.

00:14:30.000 Here's another one.

00:14:40.000 More of Ryan's Alley.

00:14:42.000 Sounds like, uh... Van Halen-ish.

00:14:45.000 Oh, that was fun.

00:14:46.000 Short and sweet.

00:14:47.000 Here's one.

00:14:48.000 Not in sync.

00:14:50.000 That reeked. 0.98

00:15:11.000 Yeah.

00:15:12.000 I think the middle one might be the winner.

00:15:15.000 Is that all we got?

00:15:16.000 Yeah.

00:15:17.000 OK.

00:15:19.000 I'd go for the first one.

00:15:21.000 Yeah, I like that first one.

00:15:22.000 Speaking of cops.

00:15:24.000 OK, maybe you're right.

00:15:25.000 The LAPD chief has decided that the Blue Lives Matter flag is offensive.

00:15:33.000 And you should not have it on your person, you should not be displaying it. 0.99

00:15:36.000 Oh, what do you think of that, pigs? 1.00

00:15:41.000 Are all cops bastards? 1.00

00:15:42.000 Is that true? 1.00

00:15:44.000 Not all of them.

00:15:48.000 That's, you know, you're in California, the Blue Lives Matter. 1.00

00:15:51.000 They have that at every locker and every precinct.

00:15:54.000 Well, don't forget that in New York there was that woman who her dad was killed on duty and she sold those sweatshirts that were part of the K-9 unit and they had a Blue Lives Matter flag on the arm and the kid was sent home from school.

00:16:14.000 Remember that?

00:16:15.000 Yep. 1.00

00:16:16.000 Fucking ridiculous. 1.00

00:16:17.000 So we could be just as bad. 1.00

00:16:19.000 There was just a recent case here with a sergeant who lost, during the riots, she had a Blue Lives Matter, what do you call it, sticker, oh no, she had a Trump, what do you call it, sticker.

00:16:33.000 Oh yeah.

00:16:34.000 And she lost, she got like a 30 day vacation hit and she wound up suing.

00:16:41.000 Because if she would have had a Black Lives Matter or his, you know, Gay Lives Matter, nobody would have said nothing, but because it said something about Trump, you know, right away, boom, they suspend her, 30 days. 0.54

00:16:53.000 The liberals, the libs went crazy when they seen that.

00:16:55.000 Wait, I'm not familiar with Gay Lives Matter.

00:16:57.000 Is that a thing?

00:16:58.000 Oh, your rainbow.

00:16:59.000 Or the rainbow flag, yeah.

00:17:01.000 Yeah, but they never say Gay Lives Matter.

00:17:04.000 You just made that up.

00:17:06.000 Gay Lives Matter, I love that.

00:17:07.000 They all matter! 1.00

00:17:09.000 Gay lives don't matter, according to fucking Mother Nature. 1.00

00:17:14.000 You fucked for 37 hours in a row, you invented a disease. 1.00

00:17:20.000 First it was AIDS, then it was monkey pox. 1.00

00:17:22.000 I think Nature's saying, slow it down, clown. 0.99

00:17:25.000 I'm a cowboy. 0.98

00:17:27.000 I got lesions on my face.

00:17:31.000 I'm shooting lows!

00:17:34.000 All over the place.

00:17:35.000 Had a circuit party for three days.

00:17:37.000 I got blisters on my lips.

00:17:42.000 I'm wanted. 1.00

00:17:42.000 I've been sucking too much cock. 1.00

00:17:44.000 I'm wanted. 1.00

00:17:46.000 Passed out or not.

00:17:50.000 I've done some poppins. 0.87

00:17:52.000 I got jizz on my face. 0.94

00:17:55.000 I'm prolapsed. 0.69

00:17:57.000 Prolapsed!

00:18:00.000 And all my holes are filled.

00:18:03.000 I'm pink sock to pink sock. 0.99

00:18:07.000 I'm a cowboy on the huge dick side ride! 0.99

00:18:14.000 I've seen a million faces! 1.00

00:18:16.000 And I've fucked them all! 1.00

00:18:18.000 There you go, Bon Jovi. 1.00

00:18:24.000 So yeah, show that briefly, 1-2. 0.99

00:18:26.000 Fuckin' 1-2. 1.00

00:18:27.000 Fuckin' on the ones and the twos, fuck. 1.00

00:18:29.000 On a 2-4 there. 1.00

00:18:31.000 He bans public displays of thin blue line.

00:18:35.000 My buddy owns a restaurant and a woman... What's a thin blue line? 1.00

00:18:40.000 I've never seen... I think it means the American flag with the blue stripe.

00:18:46.000 Or maybe just the black flag with the blue line.

00:18:50.000 Probably both.

00:18:51.000 How does he have the authority to do that?

00:18:54.000 It's the American one with the blue and then the firemen have it with the red.

00:18:58.000 But I don't think he has the authority to just ban that.

00:19:02.000 Well, he could ban it in his command.

00:19:05.000 Oh.

00:19:06.000 Yeah, but he can't do anything outside of job. 1.00

00:19:08.000 Fuck off. 1.00

00:19:09.000 No, I think, where did he ban it from? 1.00

00:19:10.000 He banned it from the command.

00:19:11.000 Well, let's read the intro paragraph.

00:19:12.000 Here we go.

00:19:13.000 I think the flag was up in the command somewhere.

00:19:17.000 At public events and station lobbies.

00:19:20.000 The mandate is from Saturday.

00:19:21.000 If you walked to a detector squad, they'd have it stickered on the wall and stuff like that.

00:19:26.000 And you can't have that now?

00:19:28.000 Well, I'm telling you, my buddy owns a restaurant.

00:19:30.000 On his Jeep, he has that flag.

00:19:32.000 It's the black American flag with the blue line.

00:19:35.000 This woman comes in the restaurant, she goes, there's a racist sticker on one of the cars in your parking lot. 1.00

00:19:40.000 So they all go, oh shit, what, the Klan is here? 1.00

00:19:42.000 That's not good. 1.00

00:19:43.000 Bad for business.

00:19:43.000 So they run up, they run outside, and they go, what's the problem?

00:19:45.000 And she goes, that.

00:19:47.000 And he goes, that's a cop thing.

00:19:49.000 That guy, his dad's a cop, his brother's cops. 1.00

00:19:52.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:19:52.000 They see it as an anti-black lives matter thing. 1.00

00:19:55.000 It means black lives don't matter. 1.00

00:19:57.000 Yeah, like I'm pro-kneeing. 1.00

00:19:59.000 Like remember they banned the fucking puppy from Paw Patrol? 0.99

00:20:02.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:20:03.000 Was she black, the woman making the complaint? 0.84

00:20:05.000 No, she was a rich, white, liberal, probably Jewish. 1.00

00:20:08.000 Didn't anybody tell her she was a fucking asshole? 1.00

00:20:12.000 Well, they're owners of the restaurant, right? 1.00

00:20:13.000 So they said, they said, the guy with the cop father was the one defending his own sticker.

00:20:22.000 The cop father.

00:20:23.000 He explained, he was like, look, my dad's a cop, my brother's a cop, it just means it's a cop sticker.

00:20:28.000 And she goes, in this day, this is a couple years ago, like real peak George Floyd, she goes, in this day and age, that sticker trivializes black lives.

00:20:40.000 Because she's so acclimated and versed in black lives.

00:20:44.000 She's so tolerant.

00:20:44.000 It triggers me.

00:20:45.000 They have names for them, people, they're called Karens.

00:20:48.000 Yes.

00:20:49.000 Yeah, when was the last time you were remotely near a black life? 1.00

00:20:53.000 Well, her maid probably comes, or the child caretaker. 0.71

00:20:56.000 Yeah, I honestly believe that's where a lot of their benevolence comes from.

00:20:59.000 From their Zimbabwean housemaid. 1.00

00:21:02.000 And they're like, you're so special.

00:21:04.000 I see it all the time, honey, you have?

00:21:05.000 They're up and down pushing their strollers with all the kids in them.

00:21:08.000 Yeah.

00:21:08.000 When I first moved to New York.

00:21:10.000 I love doing that.

00:21:10.000 I'm in Manhattan.

00:21:11.000 I always say, what a beautiful baby you have.

00:21:16.000 A lot of rich Africans adopting white kids.

00:21:19.000 He has your eyes. 0.96

00:21:20.000 I have a friend I used to work with that he had a white wife, but all his side chicks were black. 1.00

00:21:28.000 And he told me that he grew up pretty wealthy on Long Island.

00:21:33.000 White guy, obviously. 0.57

00:21:34.000 Yup, yup, talented guy.

00:21:35.000 He had black nannies and he got all his love from black nannies his whole life. 0.80

00:21:41.000 And he had an affinity for black women because of that. 0.99

00:21:44.000 There you go. 1.00

00:21:45.000 You know, I heard Filipina nannies, when they're changing the diaper, they put the penis in their mouth. 1.00

00:21:52.000 I'm not joking. 1.00

00:21:53.000 I've heard this, yeah.

00:21:54.000 When the baby's wriggling like that, they do that, and the baby just goes... It calms... Well, that would calm me down for sure.

00:22:01.000 If I was a baby and they did that, I'd be like...

00:22:04.000 Oh yeah. 1.00

00:22:08.000 Change that diaper you fucking whore. 1.00

00:22:11.000 I'd be shit in my pants every minute. 1.00

00:22:18.000 But you just have poopoo diaper. 1.00

00:22:21.000 I don't know.

00:22:22.000 Maybe it's all those laxatives I stole.

00:22:25.000 Why are you eating chili so much lately?

00:22:28.000 Why do you keep breaking into medicine cabinets and taking X-Lax?

00:22:35.000 Why are you nounching on bean cans?

00:22:36.000 That's actually disturbing. 0.98

00:22:38.000 Yeah, isn't it rape? 1.00

00:22:40.000 Yeah, that's child molestation. 0.93

00:22:43.000 A lot of bad things.

00:22:44.000 But maybe a boy who had a Filipina nanny would identify with that. 1.00

00:22:49.000 Next thing you know, he's fucking... 1.00

00:22:50.000 In 20 years, when I go into a nursing home, I'm going to request a Filipino aid when they're changing my diapers. 1.00

00:23:00.000 Put that in my advance directive, please.

00:23:02.000 She's not used to 8 inches.

00:23:03.000 I'm going to put that in my will.

00:23:12.000 Speaking of, I've got a lot of cop stuff obviously because we got cops and criminals on the show.

00:23:16.000 Let's go back to the nanny. 1.00

00:23:20.000 She's a cowboy with a kid's penis in her mouth. 1.00

00:23:26.000 I got a gun in my mouth. 1.00

00:23:29.000 It's a one-inch uncircumcised dick of a rich kid. 1.00

00:23:33.000 Who's like three months old. 1.00

00:23:37.000 He'll shit himself. 1.00

00:23:39.000 He shits his pants! 1.00

00:23:42.000 Only the diapers changed! 1.00

00:23:44.000 When I hear this... I know it's blue job time for the babies!

00:23:54.000 Dinner bell.

00:23:55.000 No good.

00:23:57.000 Ooh, it reeks in here.

00:24:00.000 What's this?

00:24:00.000 Shoots a dude and he doesn't care?

00:24:02.000 Oh yeah, I love the whole, just tiz them. 1.00

00:24:06.000 Or like, shoot them in the toe. 1.00

00:24:08.000 You don't have to go for chest cavity. 1.00

00:24:10.000 Everyone thinks that you shoot someone anywhere.

00:24:14.000 They're pinky or whatever. 0.78

00:24:15.000 You shoot off their hat like in the Wild Wild West and they're gonna, they'll calm down. 0.98

00:24:22.000 No, there's dudes where you shoot them in the chest many times and they're still coming at you with a knife. 0.84

00:24:28.000 So I think this is a state trooper.

00:24:31.000 Did you send me this, Tim?

00:24:33.000 Yeah, yep.

00:24:35.000 Is that upstate?

00:24:36.000 I don't know where it's from.

00:24:37.000 Somebody sent it to me.

00:24:39.000 Okay, calm down.

00:24:42.000 But uh...

00:24:46.000 So he's got a knife.

00:24:48.000 I can see something in his right hand. 0.99

00:24:50.000 He wants to die. 0.89

00:24:53.000 Okay, party's over. 0.80

00:24:54.000 Nope.

00:24:55.000 Okay, party's over.

00:24:56.000 Nope.

00:24:58.000 Okay, party's over.

00:24:59.000 Nope.

00:25:00.000 Okay, party's over.

00:25:01.000 Nope.

00:25:02.000 What are we at?

00:25:02.000 Six now?

00:25:04.000 Seven?

00:25:04.000 I think he did get a leg shot.

00:25:06.000 It looks like the cop fell.

00:25:07.000 Yeah, he was limping.

00:25:11.000 Did the cop get the ball?

00:25:15.000 I think the cop tripped. 1.00

00:25:17.000 Okay, kill him! 1.00

00:25:24.000 Have you ever been shot at? 1.00

00:25:24.000 Matty, you got shot at, right? 1.00

00:25:26.000 Yeah, I've been shot.

00:25:27.000 Oh, you've been shot?

00:25:28.000 Yeah.

00:25:29.000 I have a hole in the back of my leg.

00:25:31.000 Was that from that party in Brooklyn with the glass?

00:25:33.000 No, that was the first shootout I was ever in.

00:25:36.000 On Myrtle Avenue in Fort Greene Projects.

00:25:38.000 What happened there again?

00:25:39.000 They tried to rob me.

00:25:41.000 What were you doing in the projects?

00:25:43.000 No, I was at a house party.

00:25:45.000 Who do you know in the hood?

00:25:47.000 Well, my buddy lived there on Prospect Street.

00:25:49.000 A real-time interrogation.

00:25:51.000 So I went to the bodega at like 4 o'clock.

00:25:53.000 I was tripping on ecstasy. 0.96

00:25:54.000 I was rolling my ass off. 0.89

00:25:58.000 Me and my buddy, I said, hey, take a walk with me because I don't want to walk by myself. 0.77

00:26:04.000 Up on Myrtle Avenue.

00:26:05.000 Why was he taking a walk?

00:26:06.000 To go buy beer or cigarettes or something?

00:26:08.000 No, we only got water.

00:26:09.000 Bottles of water.

00:26:11.000 Oh, okay.

00:26:12.000 And on the way back, I was like, oh, let me get a cigarette.

00:26:14.000 I don't smoke.

00:26:14.000 Let me get a dollar.

00:26:15.000 I ain't got no money for ya.

00:26:17.000 And then, uh, I said, just, I tapped my buddy.

00:26:19.000 I said, just get around the corner, and the building's right there.

00:26:22.000 We'll just get in the lobby, but the door was closed, so... He was with somebody, and I pulled my gun out, and I had him, he came, and he's standing in the door, jamming the door, and but... Wait a minute, he's jamming the door, but the door's locked.

00:26:35.000 He was, he had his back in the, his back like, this is the door frame.

00:26:39.000 Like this.

00:26:40.000 He had a knife in his hand.

00:26:41.000 So I got him from here to that light.

00:26:44.000 And I'm like, go ahead.

00:26:45.000 You know, I'm going to blast you.

00:26:47.000 So I don't see his buddy. 1.00

00:26:49.000 He comes in, he puts a fucking gun right over the guy's shoulder. 1.00

00:26:52.000 Shoots the fucking lobby glass out of the door. 1.00

00:26:54.000 I said, fucking run up the stairs. 1.00

00:26:56.000 We ran up to the first lady. 1.00

00:26:58.000 So now I can see their feet and everything.

00:26:59.000 Now I'm in an elevated position.

00:27:02.000 You got the drop on him.

00:27:03.000 Yeah.

00:27:03.000 So, they took off and ran.

00:27:05.000 It was a fire department literally right across the street.

00:27:08.000 No cops ever came.

00:27:11.000 So he pegged you once.

00:27:12.000 He got you in the leg.

00:27:12.000 No, no, no.

00:27:13.000 I didn't get shot that day.

00:27:15.000 I got shot years later.

00:27:16.000 Well, let's hear about the leg shot.

00:27:18.000 So what was it?

00:27:20.000 What happened?

00:27:21.000 Oh, there was a big bailing somewhere and I think it was a ricochet because it didn't go like all the way through.

00:27:27.000 I just have like some soft tissue damage.

00:27:29.000 Okay.

00:27:30.000 No details?

00:27:31.000 The guy in Brooklyn, it must have been a Puerto Rican with a knife. 1.00

00:27:35.000 But he brought a knife to a gun battle.

00:27:37.000 Yeah, his buddy had a gun.

00:27:39.000 Yeah, they upgraded.

00:27:40.000 He's like, alright, this is your problem now.

00:27:43.000 Yep.

00:27:46.000 But why aren't you giving us more details about the calf shot?

00:27:50.000 No one's gonna get incriminated.

00:27:51.000 Well, I didn't even know, it was weird because I didn't even know I was shot at the time.

00:27:55.000 And everyone, I was like, is everyone alright?

00:27:58.000 And we're talking. 0.97

00:27:59.000 And then I'm like, why the fuck is my foot wet? 0.98

00:28:01.000 Because the blood was just running down my leg into my shoe. 0.98

00:28:05.000 And then, when I realized, I was like, oh, now.

00:28:09.000 Matty, who shot the gun?

00:28:10.000 So we're not getting any more details about the melee.

00:28:13.000 It was just some hullabaloo.

00:28:16.000 I was walking down the street one day and... You're a cowboy.

00:28:20.000 Soft tissue on my calf. 1.00

00:28:25.000 I shot myself right in the ass. 1.00

00:28:29.000 The gun in my pants, it's like a six string, but the gun. 1.00

00:28:34.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:28:35.000 And when I shoot people, it's like shooting people. 0.99

00:28:37.000 It's shooting people. 0.98

00:28:38.000 I don't have to use a metaphor. 0.97

00:28:39.000 I have a gun.

00:28:41.000 It was a 1911A, 7 plus 1.

00:28:45.000 What kind of gun did you carry?

00:28:47.000 Me?

00:28:47.000 I've carried all different kinds of guns.

00:28:49.000 What was your favorite?

00:28:50.000 My favorite?

00:28:52.000 One of my favorites was a single double action Sig 226.

00:28:55.000 Okay.

00:28:56.000 What did you go to jail for?

00:28:57.000 Oh, which one?

00:29:01.000 I had a long gun and a pistol.

00:29:04.000 The one with the pistol where you gave it to a prospect who was actually a cop.

00:29:08.000 Yeah, undercover agent.

00:29:10.000 Not a good idea.

00:29:12.000 Don't give your gun when you're a convicted felon.

00:29:16.000 Did you sell it to him or did you give it to him?

00:29:17.000 No, no, no.

00:29:18.000 I knew I was going to get pulled over leaving.

00:29:19.000 I was in a place called Fast Eddie's in Virginia.

00:29:23.000 And the goon squad was out there in the parking lot, so there was like five black SUVs.

00:29:30.000 So I was in the club at the time.

00:29:34.000 And I said, you know we're going to get pulled over as soon as we pull out of this parking lot.

00:29:40.000 So I said, listen, because in Virginia, all the guys, as long as you're over 21 and out of felony, everyone carries guns.

00:29:46.000 So I said, hey, are you going to the party in Maryland tomorrow?

00:29:48.000 The guy goes, yep.

00:29:49.000 I said, all right, we'll take a walk.

00:29:50.000 So we walk back into the bar, and I unload the gun.

00:29:53.000 I give it to him.

00:29:54.000 I go, you know, see me tomorrow and give it back to me.

00:29:56.000 He's like, all right, Aaron, no problem.

00:30:00.000 Well, when you hit the penal law in New York, with... I don't know if it's with guns, but with drugs, if you're smoking a joint and I pass it to you, that's sale.

00:30:08.000 Yeah.

00:30:08.000 You don't have to exchange money, you just gotta give it to them.

00:30:10.000 Or if I give it to you, yeah.

00:30:11.000 So that's just probably the same with guns, too.

00:30:13.000 I was charged with... Well, you were on parole, right?

00:30:16.000 No, I was just convicted felon at the time.

00:30:18.000 Oh.

00:30:19.000 I was charged in the federal system with 922 G1, which is felon in possession of a firearm.

00:30:25.000 What was the firearm?

00:30:26.000 It was a .22.

00:30:27.000 Oh.

00:30:29.000 How'd you get caught with a .22?

00:30:30.000 They're so small.

00:30:32.000 He handed it to a cop.

00:30:34.000 That was the felony charge?

00:30:34.000 Oh, you gave it to a cop.

00:30:35.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:30:37.000 It was a Derringer.

00:30:37.000 It was an undercover Hells Angel.

00:30:39.000 It was a brief break and I had four shots.

00:30:43.000 It was a nice little pistol.

00:30:44.000 It was from Italy.

00:30:45.000 And then they tried to charge me with foreign commerce and interstate commerce because the gun was manufactured in Italy, it was imported in Georgia in like 1962, and for like 40 years no one knew where it was until I had it in Virginia.

00:31:01.000 So now you're international gun smuggling? 0.99

00:31:03.000 Oh, for fuck's sakes. 1.00

00:31:05.000 Fucking pigs! 1.00

00:31:06.000 Fry them up like bacon, that's what I say. 1.00

00:31:06.000 I swear to God! 1.00

00:31:26.000 Ryan, why do Maddie and I look like we're in a Scorsese film and John and Dickman look like they're on a motorcyclist GoPro?

00:31:34.000 I wanted to make it seem like an intense interrogation.

00:31:37.000 Obviously, Tim's the good cop.

00:31:40.000 But dude, I asked you seven days ago to make sure the podcast lighting looks good.

00:31:44.000 No, I changed it just now.

00:31:45.000 I'm not one to argue, but these seats, you know, we're going to have to upgrade them.

00:31:49.000 No, those are Eames seats.

00:31:52.000 Those are ergonomic.

00:31:53.000 Oh, I see what you did.

00:31:54.000 OK.

00:31:56.000 Did they make these for men? 1.00

00:32:00.000 With big asses? 1.00

00:32:01.000 Yeah, it made Matty all intense looking so it looks like a cop show because he was being interrogated. 0.99

00:32:07.000 So where'd you get the gun?

00:32:09.000 I was like, we got a live interrogation boys.

00:32:11.000 That's the thing about cops too.

00:32:13.000 They've been talking to liars for two decades. 1.00

00:32:16.000 So they know instantly when you're full of shit. 1.00

00:32:18.000 But if I was, I used one of my favorite guns to carry if I was at like a large event where it was public and there was known to be ops there. 1.00

00:32:30.000 I would carry a Smith & Wesson Featherlite Hammerless because you can shoot it from inside your pocket. 0.99

00:32:35.000 Damn. 0.99

00:32:36.000 What does it look like? 1.00

00:32:38.000 It looks like a revolver with no hammer.

00:32:41.000 We're good to go.

00:33:00.000 Are you calling him a punk?

00:33:01.000 No, I'm just saying a lot of people... No, I would carry down my person.

00:33:05.000 I'm not calling him a punk.

00:33:06.000 No, no, no.

00:33:09.000 Most times, because I would get pulled over a lot, because, you know, you got a big giant pull me over sign on your back.

00:33:17.000 So, I would already have connections to where I was going, so I wouldn't have to travel from my home to, say, North Carolina.

00:33:26.000 When I get to North Carolina,

00:33:28.000 I know who to ask for a piece.

00:33:31.000 Okay.

00:33:33.000 So, in transit I wouldn't have to worry about getting pulled over and getting jacked up.

00:33:38.000 And getting tossed, alright.

00:33:39.000 Yep.

00:33:40.000 This is like a police interrogation where the guy isn't shutting up.

00:33:45.000 You get the details.

00:33:46.000 Well, I'm not a criminal anymore.

00:33:47.000 Yeah.

00:33:48.000 I love watching these interrogations because they always start out going, I don't know what you're talking about.

00:33:55.000 And then you watch it for an hour and the guy's just like,

00:33:59.000 Can I call my mom?

00:34:00.000 And then it ends with, uh, is there the death penalty in this state?

00:34:04.000 No, then it ends when they're putting their jacket over their head like this, and they're sleeping on the floor.

00:34:08.000 Oh, yeah, they turtle up.

00:34:09.000 Yeah, they turtle up on the ground. 0.98

00:34:11.000 It's like, wake the fuck up.

00:34:13.000 Yeah, you know, it's not going anywhere.

00:34:15.000 No.

00:34:15.000 You have to come out from that little cocoon you made.

00:34:18.000 It's like you're so cold.

00:34:21.000 I've been wanting to watch this with you guys for a while.

00:34:24.000 Go to 1-7.

00:34:26.000 So this guy has a backpack stolen.

00:34:30.000 He traces it with an apple tag to this house.

00:34:33.000 Well, two houses really.

00:34:35.000 This driveway.

00:34:36.000 And he calls the police.

00:34:38.000 The police go, alright, you did all our work for us.

00:34:40.000 They go there.

00:34:41.000 Everything's going pretty well. 1.00

00:34:43.000 Even the backpack thieves are like, oh well, okay, I guess we're fucked. 0.99

00:34:48.000 And the sister is driving by. 1.00

00:34:51.000 The sister in every sense of the word.

00:34:53.000 And she sees them going through the garbage outside where they find tons of wallets and purses.

00:34:58.000 And she starts going, you can't check my brother's garbage!

00:35:01.000 It's against the law! 0.58

00:35:02.000 No, no it's not. 1.00

00:35:04.000 No, it's garbage. 0.92

00:35:07.000 Believe it or not, once you put that out on the street, it becomes city property.

00:35:11.000 You can't go through it.

00:35:12.000 Yeah, but in this video, I don't think it's on the street.

00:35:14.000 I've seen this video.

00:35:15.000 That was a bold move.

00:35:16.000 Hi, I don't want to bother you.

00:35:17.000 Did you rob me?

00:35:36.000 Because I'm calling the police. 0.93

00:35:39.000 That's such a white guy thing.

00:35:48.000 Military documents?

00:35:49.000 I wouldn't bother with it.

00:35:50.000 I don't want to waste your time, sir.

00:35:55.000 So you can skip ahead.

00:35:57.000 Let's get to the sister. 0.93

00:35:58.000 I already told you the backstory.

00:35:59.000 Yeah, there she is. 1.00

00:36:05.000 There she is!

00:36:06.000 Yeah, but if they went onto the private property... One thing I learned in Austin, Texas, great way to pick up chicks, when a hot girl walks in the bar and you're with your friends, you go, there she is! 1.00

00:36:16.000 Really?

00:36:16.000 They love it.

00:36:17.000 Really?

00:36:18.000 Yeah.

00:36:18.000 Dang.

00:36:19.000 Those did well.

00:36:25.000 What's going on?

00:36:27.000 Wouldn't it be funny if the cops were like, uh we should get out of here?

00:36:42.000 We didn't know we're sorry ma'am.

00:36:44.000 I don't know the legality of that because they went on to the property.

00:36:49.000 Well, well it's in a garbage can next to the house, but it's still on private property.

00:36:54.000 I think what they could do is they could actually secure the house so no one could go out, go to the district attorney's office and get a warrant.

00:37:00.000 Yeah, that's what they do.

00:37:02.000 Or, what they should do is somebody's screaming in there.

00:37:06.000 Yeah, then you have probable cause.

00:37:08.000 Well, you could preserve evidence, right?

00:37:10.000 Is that the point you were going to make?

00:37:11.000 If you feel that something's getting destroyed in the house.

00:37:16.000 I would hear screams or something, and then, you know, boom, the door.

00:37:19.000 I would hear screams.

00:37:23.000 Oh, I thought you meant... Oh, I see.

00:37:24.000 No, no, no, you're right.

00:37:25.000 Yeah, I thought you meant if you heard maybe a frickin' guy's flushing the toilet.

00:37:29.000 If it was a car, it would be different, because a car is a movable object.

00:37:33.000 You cannot go to a district attorney's office and get a warrant for the car.

00:37:36.000 You know, you might be able to go inside it.

00:37:38.000 You know, you'd have to go to a hearing, like a MAP hearing or...

00:37:43.000 See what the judge says.

00:37:43.000 But what they do is they say they smell pot.

00:37:48.000 In the garbage can?

00:37:49.000 No, in the house.

00:37:51.000 From the street.

00:37:52.000 The door's open, he's talking to the guy, and then they go, we smell marijuana, we want to go in.

00:37:56.000 Well, that's a first.

00:37:57.000 He's being creative.

00:37:59.000 I'm sure he smelled pot.

00:38:04.000 I didn't smell pot until you walked up to me.

00:38:06.000 Dude, I smell pot on the 95 when I'm going into the city.

00:38:10.000 In my car.

00:38:12.000 And I'm not smoking pot.

00:38:13.000 And you're doing 75 miles an hour and you're like, wow, someone's really blazing up on the highway.

00:38:18.000 Yes.

00:38:19.000 And all the windows are shut and it's going into, I don't know, my grill?

00:38:22.000 It's going into the air conditioner.

00:38:24.000 Oh yeah.

00:38:26.000 I don't have the air conditioner on in January.

00:38:28.000 It's like that everywhere in Manhattan right now.

00:38:29.000 Well, water.

00:38:30.000 Water.

00:38:31.000 Oh, dude. 1.00

00:38:32.000 Williamsburg Brooklyn is like walking through Bob Marley's asshole. 1.00

00:38:37.000 I'm walking on an asshole. 1.00

00:38:40.000 It's intense. 1.00

00:38:42.000 What does Bob Molly's asshole smell like? 1.00

00:38:44.000 Lots of weed. 1.00

00:38:45.000 He doesn't eat.

00:38:48.000 He lives off the weed while he's dead.

00:38:50.000 He smokes the ganja.

00:38:51.000 Ziggy's. 0.97

00:38:51.000 He lives off the weed particles. 0.97

00:38:52.000 Gotta go through Ziggy's asshole. 1.00

00:38:55.000 Ziggy's asshole. 1.00

00:38:56.000 That's a good name for a band. 1.00

00:38:58.000 That's a good name for the show. 1.00

00:39:00.000 Ziggy's asshole. 1.00

00:39:01.000 Okay, I'm writing that down. 1.00

00:39:04.000 But get back to this creature.

00:39:06.000 The female was later identified as 22-year-old Chertisha Camacho.

00:39:29.000 Okay, so they don't live here.

00:39:32.000 I'm just trying to figure out what's going on.

00:39:34.000 He had a bag stolen.

00:39:35.000 He had a bag stolen from his car last night.

00:39:38.000 It had an air tag in it.

00:39:39.000 Air tag places it somewhere between these two houses.

00:39:41.000 You know who lives in the other houses?

00:39:52.000 We're talking with them right now. 1.00

00:39:54.000 We're gonna go next door, but the air tag shows... Look at that poor white guy, just sitting in the fucking passenger seat. 1.00

00:40:00.000 I mean, he got no case there, because anyone could have thrown it in the fucking garbage can. 1.00

00:40:03.000 Can't blame the people inside the house. 0.99

00:40:06.000 Yeah, but you can continue your investigation.

00:40:08.000 Well, what about the fact that the garbage can is full of wallets and purses?

00:40:13.000 I mean, that's sure that's going on the... Well, to get to probable cause, you're going to reasonable suspicion.

00:40:19.000 You see the purses in there, you smell the reefer.

00:40:21.000 That's gonna justify a warrant.

00:40:23.000 Right but they actually find the backpack in the bathroom.

00:40:29.000 But say they didn't.

00:40:30.000 But you know something the cops doing the right thing even if the case got thrown out you know the guy got his backpack back.

00:40:40.000 Yeah but as to Matty's point he could just say I don't know my I guess my garbage is a dumping ground for thieves.

00:40:49.000 I know you're lying, but in a court of law.

00:40:52.000 This goes to court?

00:40:54.000 Yeah.

00:40:55.000 But you gotta be a reasonable, prudent man to think like that. 1.00

00:41:00.000 And most people say, you know, that's bullshit. 1.00

00:41:02.000 So you think a jury would say that's bullshit? 1.00

00:41:05.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:41:08.000 Yeah, there's the law and then there's a jury going... And then you have all these cases, right?

00:41:12.000 So you go back, you get all the IDs of all the people, you find out all the police reports that they made and they all ended up in his garbage can.

00:41:20.000 All these stolen bags and wallets. 0.99

00:41:23.000 Yeah, it's just such a great spot to fucking dump. 0.99

00:41:25.000 But what's great now is you could take those wallets out and put through DNA. 1.00

00:41:30.000 Find out if he went through that with his dirty little fingers. 0.98

00:41:33.000 Oh yeah. 0.98

00:41:33.000 Hey, there's no need to get into ad hominem attacks here. 0.98

00:41:37.000 You could have the beautiful, wonderful little mulatto fingers. 0.95

00:41:40.000 Manicured.

00:41:42.000 He's very hygienic.

00:41:44.000 Not dirty.

00:41:45.000 Yeah.

00:41:46.000 His clean little finger.

00:41:47.000 Does everyone like Matty's new microphone?

00:41:48.000 I think we need a Filipino. 0.87

00:41:49.000 Yeah, I like the setup.

00:41:50.000 Do we need a Filipino woman to go over there to you? 1.00

00:41:54.000 I'll put a wig on. 1.00

00:41:56.000 You want me to suck you off while I change your Depends? 1.00

00:41:56.000 You heard that, huh? 1.00

00:42:01.000 Sucks getting old, oh my god. 1.00

00:42:02.000 I think I just shit myself. 1.00

00:42:04.000 Yeah, you like that mic, Matty? 0.99

00:42:08.000 Yeah, I love it.

00:42:08.000 Pretty cool.

00:42:10.000 Pretty cool.

00:42:11.000 A real radio star.

00:42:13.000 Alright, let's get back to her, because I really, I really enjoy these videos, and I think of, when I watch this, I think of it from two perspectives. 1.00

00:42:19.000 I think of Maddie giving, like, state trooper shit who harass them all the time, and then I think of cops having to deal with these fucking assholes and going, shut the fuck up, bitch. 1.00

00:42:30.000 Like, she just needs to be tuned up. 1.00

00:42:32.000 How funny would it be if we had body cameras when Maddie used to get stopped and we could forward requests?

00:42:37.000 Oh my god, that footage.

00:42:38.000 With our buddy?

00:42:39.000 With your buddy? 0.95

00:42:41.000 But he used to fuckin' impound my bike. 0.94

00:42:43.000 I think he impounded my bike three times in one month one time. 0.93

00:42:46.000 I was like, come on dude, really? 1.00

00:42:49.000 So, I guess my point is that I betcha Matty would get the sort of limit to how much of a dick you can be. 0.99

00:42:57.000 He'd be like, really? 0.99

00:42:58.000 Are you fuckin' serious? 0.98

00:42:59.000 You're fuckin' pulling me over again? 0.99

00:43:00.000 You know what he said the last time he did? 0.99

00:43:02.000 He goes, don't worry.

00:43:03.000 I'm not gonna have him bring it to the impound.

00:43:06.000 I'll have him bring it to the State Trooper's Barracks.

00:43:09.000 So when you get out, you can just take it and go? 0.99

00:43:12.000 Are you fucking kidding me? 0.98

00:43:13.000 Did he still make you pay for the tow? 0.99

00:43:15.000 Of course!

00:43:15.000 I thought he was doing you a favor.

00:43:17.000 And I wasn't even...

00:43:19.000 I didn't have anything to do with what was going on.

00:43:22.000 What was going on?

00:43:23.000 They said me and my buddy were leapfrogging.

00:43:25.000 Because he pulled up behind me, so I pulled over and he drove right past me and kept going. 0.88

00:43:31.000 So I'm sitting on the side of 87 North, by like Slopesburg, like Spring Valley, and I'm like, well how long am I supposed to, it's fucking like 9.30 at night, so how long am I supposed to fucking sit here?

00:43:42.000 Like he didn't like get on his mic and say like, pull over.

00:43:46.000 So I go on, so I go up about three quarters of a mile, maybe a mile, and he's got my buddy pulled over.

00:43:53.000 So we used to, if one of us got pulled over, we'd just go to the next exit, pull off, and wait.

00:43:59.000 If he didn't show up within an hour, you know he got locked up.

00:44:02.000 So, as I'm getting off the exit, cops are like driving up the exit and run the wrong way.

00:44:09.000 You know, they jump out and one guy, he had his dog, I think by his collar, by his pinky.

00:44:13.000 He's like, the dog's gonna bite you in the face.

00:44:15.000 He's like, turn your bike off. 0.99

00:44:16.000 I go, I'm not fucking moving. 1.00

00:44:19.000 You got your fucking dog like here. 1.00

00:44:20.000 I'm like, why would I move? 1.00

00:44:24.000 So he goes, oh we know you were doing, you would leap.

00:44:26.000 I go,

00:44:28.000 I said, put it this way, if I didn't want you to stop me, you weren't catching me on my motorcycle.

00:44:34.000 I go, I'm sitting at the red light on the exit.

00:44:38.000 Where am I going?

00:44:40.000 I go, I'm waiting to see what's happening with him.

00:44:42.000 So they arrest him.

00:44:44.000 Impound his bike.

00:44:46.000 They don't find nothing on me.

00:44:48.000 So now I gotta go back over the Tapsee Bridge to Tarrytown.

00:44:50.000 That's where they had the... It used to be right over the bridge in Tarrytown.

00:44:55.000 So, the guy's going to me.

00:44:57.000 An older trooper.

00:44:59.000 Right here with a mustache.

00:45:01.000 And he's going, listen, Matt, he goes, if you got anything on you, he's like, now's the time.

00:45:04.000 He goes, because if we get to the state trooper barracks, I can't do it.

00:45:08.000 I go, listen, I appreciate the offer. 1.00

00:45:10.000 That's bullshit. 0.99

00:45:11.000 I said that all the time. 1.00

00:45:12.000 You never know.

00:45:12.000 I go, but I don't have anything on me.

00:45:15.000 And you weren't under arrest.

00:45:18.000 Oh, I sat there for eight hours, handcuffed to the wall, strip searched, everything.

00:45:21.000 He didn't charge you with anything?

00:45:22.000 No.

00:45:23.000 He charged my buddy.

00:45:24.000 Oh, all right.

00:45:25.000 What was that charge?

00:45:25.000 He charged his own vehicle.

00:45:27.000 What was that charge?

00:45:29.000 Him?

00:45:29.000 Yeah.

00:45:31.000 Oh, I think he found him with a paraphernalia or something like that.

00:45:34.000 So when that guy said that was your last chance, did he want you to like throw coke out the window?

00:45:38.000 He wanted me to like confess if I had anything.

00:45:40.000 I'm like, dude, I appreciate it, but I wasn't born yesterday.

00:45:45.000 I hate to disappoint.

00:45:48.000 I don't have anything. 0.99

00:45:49.000 So have you ever deked out the cops just by going, fuck this me? 1.00

00:45:55.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:45:56.000 So you can do that.

00:45:58.000 Well, physically.

00:46:00.000 Have I ever done it?

00:46:01.000 Yeah.

00:46:02.000 Yes.

00:46:03.000 Cause Suge at the gym, John, he goes, he goes, I just got my insurance or registration for my motorcycle.

00:46:09.000 And I'm like, what?

00:46:10.000 We're like 55.

00:46:13.000 Haven't you been pulled over?

00:46:13.000 And he goes, Oh no.

00:46:16.000 Ryan, why is that in lower case?

00:46:19.000 Oh, this isn't the right one then.

00:46:21.000 Jesus Christ, you're the king of mistakes.

00:46:23.000 He probably never stops.

00:46:25.000 He goes, I would just flip up my license plate on the back and just MEEEEEEEEEE disappear.

00:46:30.000 Now, as a taxpayer, is it that simple to elude you guys?

00:46:34.000 Yes.

00:46:35.000 On a motorcycle?

00:46:36.000 Yeah.

00:46:36.000 I never chase.

00:46:37.000 Well, you can't outrun a radio, but... It's also timing, like, you know, you're on a bike, if somebody pulls out in front of you and tags you, like, if I was chasing the guy on a bike and another car pulled out and hit you, I'd probably just make a U-turn.

00:46:50.000 Yeah, I don't suggest it.

00:46:52.000 I never chase motorcycles.

00:46:54.000 Why not?

00:46:55.000 It's dangerous.

00:46:56.000 It's dangerous.

00:46:57.000 I don't want the guy on the bike to get hurt.

00:46:58.000 It's just, it ain't worth it.

00:46:59.000 But it's worth chasing a car.

00:47:01.000 I have attempted to pull over motorcycles, and when they stop, I'm so grateful that they stopped, I never write them a ticket.

00:47:07.000 Because I'm like, everybody else just takes off.

00:47:09.000 But most guys that are riding bikes, they're pretty cool.

00:47:11.000 Most of them are, you know, hard-working people.

00:47:14.000 Sport bikes take off.

00:47:15.000 Cruisers don't.

00:47:16.000 Rice Rockets.

00:47:16.000 No, the Rice Rockets.

00:47:18.000 The ones you see down is like a hundred of them driving down fucking Fifth Avenue doing popping wheelies. 0.98

00:47:18.000 That's it. 0.98

00:47:23.000 Oh, those guys on the quads?

00:47:25.000 Yeah.

00:47:26.000 Oh boy.

00:47:27.000 The guys who beat up that Asian dude?

00:47:29.000 Remember that on the West Side Highway?

00:47:30.000 Yeah.

00:47:31.000 That guy, Steinglass, who punished the cop who was with them, he was an off-duty Puerto Rican dude who was with the bikers.

00:47:40.000 Yeah.

00:47:41.000 And he got him fired because, I don't know, he didn't... Well, it's pretty much like a gang... I don't know what they charged, but it was gang assault, I would assume.

00:47:49.000 Yeah, he wasn't part of the... You remember the story, right?

00:47:51.000 There's an Asian dude, he got freaked out, he hit one of the bikers, they got really pissed off, and they're, when I say bikers, they're like black dudes on quads and dirt bikes, and then he tries to get off the next exit, they surround him, they rip him out of the car, and they start beating him with the helmet. 0.83

00:48:06.000 Yeah, it was a guy named Rachel.

00:48:07.000 Well, the Asian guy was driving DWO, that's why. 1.00

00:48:10.000 What's DWO?

00:48:11.000 Driving While Oriental. 1.00

00:48:12.000 They don't have the Oriental vision.

00:48:15.000 Actually, there's three.

00:48:16.000 It's driving while oriental, driving while old, or driving while orthodox. 0.98

00:48:22.000 If you're driving while orthodox, you gotta be in a van. 0.98

00:48:26.000 Mini van, yep.

00:48:27.000 That has no, bald tires.

00:48:28.000 Bald tires, yeah.

00:48:29.000 Always bald tires.

00:48:32.000 Because I guess God is gonna like... Your haze and beard flying around.

00:48:35.000 You know, that cop that did that, like, he was supposed to ID himself.

00:48:40.000 He should have did the right thing.

00:48:41.000 The guy's getting tuned up there.

00:48:42.000 Yeah.

00:48:43.000 I don't really have sympathy for that officer.

00:48:46.000 Really?

00:48:46.000 Wrong place at the wrong time.

00:48:48.000 Wasn't the wrong place.

00:48:49.000 He could have went over there and just got between him and say, listen, leave this guy alone.

00:48:54.000 I was thinking maybe, was he scared too? 0.97

00:48:57.000 Because they might have beat the fuck out of him too? 0.97

00:48:59.000 He was a member of the club. 0.70

00:49:02.000 Those guys that were tuning the guy up was probably friends of his.

00:49:05.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:49:05.000 That's the problem.

00:49:06.000 No, they all had the same outfit on. 0.99

00:49:08.000 It wasn't like a real motorcycle club, but it was like a little fucking group. 0.99

00:49:12.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:49:14.000 Of Rikens. 0.99

00:49:15.000 Okay, can we get back to this grumpy black chick? 1.00

00:49:21.000 Do the AirTag ping location and marijuana odor coming from the house, officers found it reasonable to make entry and make sure there were no other residents. 0.96

00:49:50.000 How do you smell it?

00:49:53.000 I got my door closed. 0.99

00:49:55.000 Oh shit, the screen is ripped, that's how you can smell it. 1.00

00:50:03.000 This guy is like, go ahead, arrest me, I don't give a fuck. 1.00

00:50:06.000 Mistake one was opening the door! 0.99

00:50:07.000 Knocked onto the door! 1.00

00:50:11.000 Fuck him. 1.00

00:50:12.000 Check out that picture I texted you, Ryan, from today's New York Post. 1.00

00:50:16.000 It has this black dude, who I believe shot a cop, yawning. 1.00

00:50:21.000 I don't smell weed. 0.97

00:50:22.000 My brother don't smoke weed.

00:50:24.000 Did y'all check the neighbor's house if y'all smell weed?

00:50:27.000 No, sir.

00:50:28.000 Y'all don't have the right to do that.

00:50:29.000 There is no scent of weed in this house.

00:50:30.000 Do y'all wanna come and smell?

00:50:32.000 Do y'all wanna come and smell?

00:50:33.000 We're recording right now.

00:50:34.000 Does someone else wanna come and smell?

00:50:35.000 I'll smell.

00:50:36.000 My brother don't smoke weed, so I don't smell like weed.

00:50:38.000 They gotta invent a sniffer for the police that they can sniff.

00:50:41.000 Yeah.

00:50:42.000 Rotate that.

00:50:43.000 The guy on the... So this is the new Save the Children law in New York, where if they're under 18, we don't prosecute.

00:50:54.000 And you're like, OK, I guess we shouldn't throw shoplifters in jail.

00:50:57.000 But then you read their crimes, like zoom in on the dude with the money, this aspiring rapper, up and coming rapper Cameron Williams, 17, was shipped to a Brooklyn juvenile facility and not Rikers Island after allegedly shooting a city cop.

00:51:12.000 He was later released on bail.

00:51:14.000 Wow.

00:51:14.000 He had a 2020 gun rap on his record for which he got off with probation because of his juvenile status.

00:51:21.000 And then go look at the yawner.

00:51:24.000 We should just call all of them yawners. 1.00

00:51:26.000 Yeah, that's our new... He didn't get no sleep last night.

00:51:29.000 Yo, you said yawner with a hard R. I don't mind yawna.

00:51:34.000 Kevin Bogg, a 16 year old who slugged a city cop.

00:51:38.000 That's what people used to do if they were like homeless and they wanted to get three hots and a cot.

00:51:43.000 They'd punch a cop and go, I'll go to jail for a couple months and at least I can eat and sleep.

00:51:47.000 For the winter, yeah.

00:51:48.000 Because I hate being homeless.

00:51:50.000 I'm yawning, yawning.

00:51:53.000 I'm waiting for that car.

00:51:57.000 Was released without bail because the law class wanted him as a juvenile, even though he had also walked three days earlier.

00:52:02.000 After allegedly jumping a 49-year-old at a Manhattan strap hanger in Midtown.

00:52:02.000 How old is he, 16?

00:52:09.000 Why does it matter what religion a venial is? 0.98

00:52:11.000 Why do they have to point that out?

00:52:14.000 Well, 16 is legal age in the eyes of the law.

00:52:17.000 He's a juvenile?

00:52:18.000 He's not a juvenile.

00:52:20.000 Who cares what kind of denial he is?

00:52:23.000 Look at that.

00:52:25.000 This is boring.

00:52:27.000 Cheetos, go here.

00:52:28.000 Please set a case beyond the controversial law.

00:52:30.000 Demonstrate the Big Apple's recent uptick.

00:52:32.000 13-year-old... How old is that guy?

00:52:34.000 30?

00:52:35.000 Yeah.

00:52:35.000 Well, he's 13 as far as years on earth.

00:52:39.000 He had a beard?

00:52:40.000 Oh, that's a mask.

00:52:42.000 Mask.

00:52:42.000 He was ex... So, 13-year-old Peter Gangbanger was executed in the back of an Uber after getting released without bail in the midst of a Bronx gang war, and despite three prior gang busts, gun busts.

00:52:57.000 Why was he not in some kind of limited security thing?

00:52:59.000 Yeah, so he did an execution of their ops, and these kids in the South Bronx,

00:53:04.000 I don't know what it's like in your day, John, but they're just shooting each other for fun. 0.99

00:53:09.000 I don't even think they're in fucking gangs. 0.98

00:53:12.000 It's just like, this is my housing project, that's your housing project. 0.98

00:53:17.000 Trust me, it was a lot lawless.

00:53:18.000 It's gotten better now.

00:53:20.000 It was very lawless back in the 80s.

00:53:23.000 So it's it was during the crack epidemic where they were like, you know shooting everybody was shooting each other But at least they had a point at least they were going to reason they have this territory war It was I want to sell this area crack. 0.78

00:53:36.000 I want this crack money.

00:53:37.000 My red top goes here.

00:53:38.000 Not your green top.

00:53:39.000 Yeah Yeah, that's better than today where it's there's zero reason for it.

00:53:45.000 I

00:53:46.000 I think nowadays if you diss somebody on Instagram or Facebook, they're gonna come after you.

00:53:51.000 Yes!

00:53:52.000 Yeah, that's what it is. 1.00

00:53:54.000 You dissed me on Facebook Live, so I'm gonna fucking kill you. 0.99

00:53:58.000 I'm worried about this guy over here, you know. 1.00

00:54:01.000 You did diss him.

00:54:03.000 You dissed me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize.

00:54:06.000 Listen, I'm a reformed man.

00:54:07.000 Alright.

00:54:09.000 We need a metal detector here.

00:54:10.000 We gotta toss him before he can get in here. 0.96

00:54:12.000 I only carry a small edged weapon these days.

00:54:16.000 He carries a wood gun now.

00:54:18.000 It doesn't really penetrate the skin, but it stings.

00:54:21.000 It shoots pepper balls.

00:54:23.000 It's perfectly legal.

00:54:26.000 It's for hunting pigeons. 1.00

00:54:30.000 Yeah, these kids are a bunch of losers. 1.00

00:54:34.000 What are you, Cool Trump? 1.00

00:54:36.000 You got it, sister.

00:54:38.000 Cool Trump.

00:54:40.000 I came here on my motorcycle.

00:54:41.000 You wouldn't even believe it.

00:54:42.000 Maddie probably knows.

00:54:44.000 I drive here.

00:54:45.000 I got my girl on the back.

00:54:46.000 She's holding me by the waist very tightly.

00:54:49.000 And not because she's scared.

00:54:50.000 Because she likes me.

00:54:52.000 Okay?

00:54:53.000 Which is more than I can say.

00:54:54.000 Excuse me.

00:54:56.000 It's more than I could say for you nerds.

00:55:02.000 Why are you smoking an invisible cigarette?

00:55:05.000 No, that's... This is me doing cunnilingus when I'm like motioning.

00:55:10.000 Gets the woman hot. 1.00

00:55:11.000 You blow on it?

00:55:13.000 They do. 1.00

00:55:14.000 That before or after you're grabbed by the pussy? 1.00

00:55:16.000 Oh! 1.00

00:55:17.000 Oh! 0.60

00:55:18.000 Oh! 0.60

00:55:20.000 Hickory dickory dock.

00:55:22.000 Alright, now I feel like I'm torturing everyone with this clip, but let's just get to where she freaks out. 1.00

00:55:27.000 I know we're used to, we have our short attention spans.

00:55:31.000 I love watching these for like an hour.

00:55:33.000 Can we play from the beginning again?

00:55:36.000 All of these are like an hour and 20 minutes.

00:55:39.000 She's already obstructing, I would just remove her from the... 1.00

00:55:44.000 Mario, you were named after a video game!

00:55:47.000 Is he trying to videotape him?

00:55:49.000 He's playing Angry Birds.

00:55:50.000 Yo, what y'all doing right now, really?

00:56:11.000 Stop! 1.00

00:56:15.000 Stop! 1.00

00:56:16.000 Backpack's in the bathroom. 1.00

00:56:19.000 You're an idiot. 1.00

00:56:21.000 Stop smoking pot. 1.00

00:56:22.000 Get a life.

00:56:23.000 You stole a backpack.

00:56:24.000 How much money did you get out of that backpack, by the way?

00:56:28.000 $10,000? 0.99

00:56:29.000 You probably got fucking four bucks. 0.99

00:56:34.000 I wouldn't even steal anything with ten grand in it. 0.99

00:56:36.000 You know, the cops should have said, listen, we're looking for the backpack.

00:56:38.000 Give us the backpack and we'll get the hell out of here.

00:56:41.000 They might have said yes.

00:56:42.000 Where are they?

00:56:44.000 Oh, I think this is where all of these are.

00:56:47.000 They seem to all be in La Crosse, Wisconsin.

00:56:50.000 Oh, Midwestern.

00:56:52.000 I feel like there's not a lot of La Crosse going on there in that town.

00:56:56.000 No, we like field hockey.

00:56:59.000 So anyway, you watch enough of these and you start recognizing people.

00:57:03.000 And I think this is her again in 1-8. 0.63

00:57:06.000 Again, just the escalation to freaking the fuck out is instantaneous. 0.92

00:57:14.000 You know how long it takes me to get mad? 0.90

00:57:17.000 I say it to my kids too.

00:57:18.000 I go, guys, I'm getting mad slowly and once I get mad, I can't get unmad.

00:57:23.000 So stop pushing these buttons because we're 23 minutes away from me losing my temper.

00:57:31.000 And same with street fights or anything.

00:57:34.000 I need to get a few blows to the head before I can get mad enough to really jump into it.

00:57:39.000 Did you say blows to the head and instant aneus? 0.56

00:57:42.000 Because let me tell you, I get blows to my head all the time and my girlfriend gives me instant aneus. 1.00

00:57:50.000 I put it in her ass whenever I want. 1.00

00:57:51.000 Wow. 1.00

00:57:52.000 Trump got real cool since he stopped being president.

00:57:56.000 Where's your chest hair at?

00:57:58.000 Oh, no, it's blonde, so... Excuse me. 1.00

00:58:02.000 I'm asking the questions here, copper.

00:58:04.000 Okay?

00:58:08.000 That's a cool trunk.

00:58:09.000 Yeah, I like it.

00:58:10.000 Must be lifted.

00:58:11.000 I always suspected he was that cool.

00:58:13.000 Yeah.

00:58:14.000 He can't be very cool with the president.

00:58:17.000 Whoa.

00:58:18.000 Let's go to that clip, Jamie.

00:58:21.000 Well, no, you don't have to scroll very much with this.

00:58:24.000 That does look like the same chick ready to rock. 1.00

00:58:26.000 What was the final outcome of this?

00:58:31.000 The final outcome!

00:58:31.000 Hi, excuse me?

00:58:32.000 Hey, stop the car! 0.99

00:58:35.000 Stop! 1.00

00:58:35.000 What?! 1.00

00:58:37.000 What are you doing here?

00:58:40.000 Turn the car off.

00:58:41.000 Why does it matter?

00:58:42.000 Turn the car off now.

00:58:44.000 That's existential.

00:58:45.000 I'm gonna start saying that to cops when I get pulled over.

00:58:48.000 Why does it matter?

00:58:50.000 Why are we here? 1.00

00:58:52.000 Listen fortune cookie, open the fucking door. 1.00

00:58:56.000 Turn the car off. 1.00

00:58:57.000 Turn the car off now.

00:58:59.000 Yo, you just spilled my Wawa 7 up!

00:59:07.000 Oh, you know that Sprite, come on. 1.00

00:59:09.000 No, I guess it's a different woman, right? 0.99

00:59:16.000 Palm trees there.

00:59:19.000 Palm trees.

00:59:22.000 Forgive me for seeing all the similarities. 0.87

00:59:24.000 As soon as the universal circus started exiting this clown car. 0.73

00:59:27.000 I'm just wondering if her wig falls off. 0.89

00:59:29.000 It does.

00:59:30.000 That's not her natural hair.

00:59:31.000 She's from Sri Lanka.

00:59:42.000 Dude all these guys... Don't spit on him, that's assault.

00:59:45.000 Doesn't that kind of make you nervous all these guys getting out of the car like you don't know if they're they have a weapon and they're getting ready to do something. 0.67

00:59:51.000 Yes, I'd be shitting my pants.

00:59:52.000 Like that guy right there like you don't see his hands.

00:59:55.000 I'm also getting kind of meth vibes from this because someone is very easily ramped up or maybe... It's like it's early in the morning.

01:00:03.000 Yeah, or very very late at night.

01:00:08.000 Or maybe just blatant attitude.

01:00:23.000 The other fear is if you don't take her down and handcuff her, you're going to be made fun of at the station for the rest of your life. 0.97

01:00:31.000 Why, she can kill you just as fast as anyone else. 0.99

01:00:34.000 Yep. 0.99

01:00:34.000 Oh, there goes the hair. 0.99

01:00:35.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

01:00:36.000 Why you step on my hair? 1.00

01:00:37.000 Why you disrespect my hair, though?

01:00:45.000 It's so funny that she gets that back in a Ziploc bag when she gets released.

01:00:48.000 And here's your clothes and your hair.

01:00:53.000 Well then, get on the ground.

01:00:54.000 I can't breathe.

01:00:55.000 What are these outbursts? 1.00

01:00:56.000 Like fucking Little Richards getting arrested. 1.00

01:00:58.000 On my soul. 1.00

01:00:59.000 Did she say on my soul?

01:00:59.000 She did.

01:01:20.000 Oh, is he cuffing her to the pants?

01:01:22.000 Yeah.

01:01:22.000 I don't know what he's doing.

01:01:23.000 Keeping that one hand while he reaches and grabs the other one.

01:01:26.000 Well, he's got solid cuffs, so all you gotta do is hold it, because you can just snap the wrist if you had to.

01:01:31.000 Oh, you know what she said?

01:01:32.000 She probably said, on mice hole.

01:01:33.000 She's on a mouse hole that a mouse will burrow. 1.00

01:01:36.000 Thanks, Ryan.

01:01:37.000 And it's uncomfortable.

01:01:38.000 And gross.

01:01:39.000 Rabies.

01:01:41.000 I've never seen the pants buckle before.

01:01:43.000 No, I haven't either, but... What's your other hand doing?

01:01:48.000 Back! 0.88

01:01:50.000 He's like, put your hands behind your... I'm trying something new.

01:01:52.000 It's called the pants bucket.

01:01:53.000 I'm inventing a new way of handcuffing.

01:01:56.000 You're about to be famous.

01:01:58.000 If you try to get out, your pants will come off.

01:01:59.000 Are you guys allowed to wear... carry the solid cuffs?

01:02:02.000 Oh, uh, no.

01:02:03.000 The hinge cuffs?

01:02:03.000 Yeah.

01:02:04.000 We weren't supposed to.

01:02:05.000 You're supposed to use the ones that are issued by... We used to carry the Smith & Wesson cuffs.

01:02:09.000 Yeah, the M100s.

01:02:10.000 With the chain.

01:02:11.000 Yeah, but, you know, you're supposed to speed cuff him where you have it set up already so when you hit the wrist, it pops on the other side. 0.99

01:02:20.000 I always used to break guys' balls if they fucking didn't put the fucking key on the top. 0.99

01:02:25.000 Oh, to lock the cuff? 1.00

01:02:26.000 Yeah.

01:02:27.000 If you're nice, they'll do that.

01:02:28.000 101?

01:02:28.000 Don't know how to put the keyhole on top?

01:02:32.000 Or double lock it?

01:02:33.000 Double lock it. 0.99

01:02:35.000 And they'd be like, shut up, Matty! 1.00

01:02:38.000 Fuck! 1.00

01:02:42.000 No, at that point I would just be gentle and be like, yo, could you put me in two cuffs? 1.00

01:02:46.000 Because I'm so fat. 0.99

01:02:55.000 Like, this woman needs to be in a mental institution. 1.00

01:02:57.000 They all do. 0.94

01:02:58.000 Yeah, at that point you're just making it... Her and the previous woman.

01:03:00.000 Where's the camera at?

01:03:01.000 In the guy's head or something?

01:03:02.000 It looks like it's maybe on his epaulette or something on his shirt.

01:03:06.000 By his badge?

01:03:08.000 Oh no, it's on his shoulder. 0.99

01:03:09.000 It seems like a trend with these black women. 1.00

01:03:10.000 I'm just gonna freak out and I'm gonna just deflect from the whole reason you're here.

01:03:15.000 We're not going to discuss why you were called here, what's going on.

01:03:19.000 I'm gonna just freak out and we're gonna make it about me, I guess.

01:03:24.000 And maybe that's a good tactic.

01:03:26.000 You're going to be confused.

01:03:28.000 I don't care how good you are at your job.

01:03:30.000 If you're screaming at someone, wrestling them, you're going to be distracted and you're just going to be like, I've got to get you in the back of the cruiser and I'll deal with this.

01:03:37.000 Is it me or did he never call for backup?

01:03:39.000 What was she initially stopped for?

01:03:41.000 We weren't told.

01:03:42.000 He was called to that residence.

01:03:44.000 And she was leaving the residence.

01:03:46.000 He was walking in the street.

01:03:47.000 He was like, stop.

01:03:48.000 It might have been a domestic.

01:03:49.000 Yeah, he must have already stopped and was walking over the house.

01:03:52.000 And then she starts leaving.

01:03:53.000 He's like, no, no, no one's leaving.

01:03:56.000 It's going to get to the point now with the police.

01:03:57.000 It's like, all right, they're leaving.

01:03:59.000 Goodbye.

01:04:00.000 What happened?

01:04:02.000 Oh, this girl just stabbed me. 1.00

01:04:04.000 Oh, I wish. 0.75

01:04:05.000 Next time I come here, I'll stop her.

01:04:08.000 Yeah.

01:04:08.000 Yes.

01:04:08.000 I almost slept in that car.

01:04:11.000 Call us back if you need us.

01:04:13.000 I didn't see her.

01:04:14.000 The windows were too tinted.

01:04:15.000 Yeah.

01:04:15.000 Let us know if she comes around again.

01:04:18.000 But with the palm trees, that might be Florida.

01:04:19.000 Again, be there in an hour.

01:04:22.000 Super dark tent.

01:04:23.000 Don't come around here no more.

01:04:27.000 He never called for backup or anything.

01:04:29.000 No, he'd be made fun of for the rest of his life.

01:04:32.000 No, but you don't understand.

01:04:33.000 There's other people in the car. 0.99

01:04:35.000 And don't think she couldn't pull out a gun and shoot him just as fast as anybody. 1.00

01:04:39.000 The places he'll get you killed. 1.00

01:04:41.000 I've seen this one before. 0.97

01:04:42.000 I think somebody else shows up.

01:04:44.000 See, that's the thing that when you go down south with the state police, you're by yourself.

01:04:49.000 There was always two people in the NYPD. 0.78

01:04:52.000 It must suck if you're on the highway and you're pulling over a car with three gangsters like this guy over here.

01:04:56.000 We double up from midnight to 5am. 0.86

01:04:59.000 What's that?

01:05:00.000 State police double up from midnight to 5am.

01:05:02.000 Midnight, what if it's 1130 at night?

01:05:05.000 It's dark, you're up in the doorway.

01:05:08.000 I had a dog. 1.00

01:05:09.000 And you got three hood rats, you're like holy shit. 1.00

01:05:11.000 Did you have the button so the door would open and the dog could come out? 0.99

01:05:14.000 Yeah.

01:05:15.000 That's awesome.

01:05:16.000 Oh cool, you got a button on your person.

01:05:19.000 Somewhere on his person.

01:05:20.000 Yeah, on your belt. 0.98

01:05:22.000 And then you just push that, the door opens and the dog comes out and kills everyone.

01:05:25.000 Well the fur missile gets launched. 0.91

01:05:27.000 It kills everyone.

01:05:30.000 Trust me, I wouldn't want to be bit by a dog like that.

01:05:35.000 There's a video of a trooper upstate.

01:05:37.000 He's dealing with a chick.

01:05:40.000 She's in the backseat, I think, and he tells her, I'm gonna release my dog.

01:05:42.000 He's trying to take her out of the car.

01:05:44.000 She won't. 0.99

01:05:44.000 He pops it and just steps out of the way and the dog enters the car and bites the living shit out of it. 0.99

01:05:49.000 Fuck! 1.00

01:05:51.000 Well, what do they do? 1.00

01:05:51.000 When they bite, they just hold on or they just... They're supposed to hold on. 1.00

01:05:55.000 They're supposed to bite and hold. 0.99

01:05:56.000 That typewriter shit is not supposed to happen. 1.00

01:05:59.000 What's the typewriter shit? 1.00

01:06:01.000 You know, the dog keeps adjusting his bite and he's up and down the arm. 1.00

01:06:05.000 Pitbulls are totally different, right? 0.98

01:06:06.000 They get a piece and then they want to rip it off.

01:06:10.000 Well, shaking their head, that's totally normal.

01:06:12.000 The dog's having a bad bite day.

01:06:13.000 But if they're releasing the bite, the dog should bite and hold.

01:06:15.000 It should get a nice deep bite and hold.

01:06:17.000 And are you, you still hang out with that same dog?

01:06:20.000 You guys are still friends?

01:06:21.000 He lives in my house.

01:06:22.000 He's your roommate?

01:06:24.000 Yep.

01:06:25.000 Okay.

01:06:25.000 Is it, did you, there's a K-9 training unit in like New Windsor, right?

01:06:29.000 Yeah.

01:06:29.000 Are you familiar with that?

01:06:30.000 City of Newburgh owns that property.

01:06:31.000 Is that MTA?

01:06:39.000 If MTA and NYPD all had German Shepherds, crime would plummet in New York City. 1.00

01:06:47.000 You know what's crazy?

01:06:48.000 You want to know what's crazy? 1.00

01:06:50.000 Blacks are so scared of dogs, and I'm sorry. 1.00

01:06:53.000 You would never see that at a riot. 1.00

01:06:54.000 Dogs like that.

01:06:55.000 No, no more.

01:06:56.000 That was the 50s and 60s.

01:06:58.000 This is in the 70s, like those, they had the cops, like Highway 1, they still have them, the leather jackets.

01:07:04.000 Like, they were sharp looking.

01:07:06.000 With the boots?

01:07:06.000 And then the NYPD had it in the 70s, but what happened was, they started, someone was complaining they looked like Nazi stormtroopers when they come in with those leather jackets.

01:07:15.000 So then they got, and then we had these plastic bullshit ones, you know? 0.97

01:07:19.000 That's why it works. 0.99

01:07:20.000 Is it like that in, uh, state police with your dog?

01:07:22.000 Say if you got injured, and you retired for injury, the dog would retire too, right?

01:07:28.000 So they just spent $35,000... Nah, they don't spend that much.

01:07:32.000 But yeah, I mean, if the dog was super, super young, under a year or two years old, they might keep the dog.

01:07:38.000 But anything over that, I'd say two is probably the limit.

01:07:41.000 I'm glad we brought up the looks, because I meant to show this one five.

01:07:45.000 I never realized this until someone tweeted it out, how bad the NYPD is looking these days. 0.99

01:07:50.000 They're always on their fucking phone. 1.00

01:07:52.000 They got a pile of junk around their waist. 1.00

01:07:55.000 Their hat's always off. 0.99

01:07:56.000 And they're always...

01:07:58.000 Not paying attention.

01:07:59.000 And then these state troopers show up to monitor the situation.

01:08:03.000 New York State Police look much harder targets than NYPD.

01:08:07.000 Clean-shaven, in shape, no phones in hand, professional.

01:08:11.000 Look at these dudes. 0.99

01:08:14.000 They're not required to carry all the bullshit. 0.99

01:08:16.000 Like, we had to carry 1.00

01:08:18.000 You know, at one point we had to carry these stupid masks. 1.00

01:08:21.000 Gas masks? 1.00

01:08:21.000 Gas masks. 1.00

01:08:22.000 Gas masks?

01:08:24.000 On your person?

01:08:25.000 After 9-11?

01:08:25.000 You had to have a pen holder, you had to have speed loaders, then you had to have the mace, then you had to have cuffs.

01:08:30.000 A whistle?

01:08:31.000 Did you need a whistle?

01:08:32.000 A whistle, yeah!

01:08:34.000 Flashlight.

01:08:35.000 A flashlight.

01:08:37.000 And then, you know, the lieutenant would line us up at roll call and, you know, they'd say, all right, let's show everybody your flashlight.

01:08:42.000 And then we'd be passed it down like nobody would have a flashlight.

01:08:47.000 And then I asked this cop, I said, why don't you carry a flashlight, you know, during the day to us?

01:08:51.000 He said, listen, anywhere you're going, it's daylight out. 0.98

01:08:54.000 I'm not going to be going to run into a fucking dark tower, you know, dark tunnel. 0.99

01:08:59.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:08:59.000 You know, he's too old for that bullshit. 1.00

01:09:02.000 We have gas masks, but they're always in the car. 1.00

01:09:04.000 Yeah, that's what you need.

01:09:06.000 Then you get these buff cops.

01:09:08.000 They'd show up with a little suitcase. 1.00

01:09:09.000 They'd have all their shit in there. 0.99

01:09:11.000 They'd have all types of toys. 1.00

01:09:12.000 John Rambos.

01:09:14.000 Something like that.

01:09:14.000 Taco Berries.

01:09:17.000 Alright, let's get behind the paywall shortly.

01:09:19.000 Let's read a few Super Chats and start taking calls.

01:09:37.000 See, that's the end of that. 0.99

01:09:39.000 I bet they stopped the German Shepherd shit because it seemed too Civil Rights era. 0.99

01:09:45.000 Yeah, I thought it was not doing as good. 1.00

01:09:47.000 Hell, I thought it was just la-di-da and around. 1.00

01:09:50.000 The riots in Newark and the German Shepherds there were terrifying. 0.88

01:09:55.000 How are we doing for Super Chats? 0.99

01:09:56.000 We are doing pretty good.

01:09:57.000 We haven't read any today.

01:10:21.000 Let's see.

01:10:21.000 Let's go from the bottom here.

01:10:23.000 Okay.

01:10:24.000 That was last week.

01:10:24.000 What are your thoughts on dating a girl with flip-flops on the relationship?

01:10:27.000 Was that from last week?

01:10:28.000 I'm not sure.

01:10:28.000 I don't think so.

01:10:30.000 What are your thoughts on dating a girl with flip-flops on the relationship?

01:10:34.000 Who flip-flops on?

01:10:36.000 Oh, who flip-flops on the relationship. 0.99

01:10:37.000 I've dated this girl, we'll reconnect every year or so, and she always ends it really confused.

01:10:41.000 I think we talked about this.

01:10:42.000 We did, yeah.

01:10:43.000 It was last week. 1.00

01:10:43.000 It's called a whore. 1.00

01:10:47.000 I know you certainly disagree with his actions, but Ted Kaczynski, oh great, has written books from prison, technological slavery, and the anti-tech revolution. 0.94

01:10:58.000 And they are excellent and receiving good reviews.

01:11:00.000 One of the points he makes is that conservatives don't have any viable solutions to the threats that modern technology itself has for human freedom.

01:11:09.000 On this point, I'd like your take on this quote from Technological Slavery.

01:11:16.000 If you think that big government interferes in your life too much now, just wait till the government starts

01:11:23.000 Regulating, don't highlight it, regulating the genetic constitution of your children.

01:11:29.000 Such regulation will inevitably follow the introduction of genetic engineering of human beings because the consequences of unregulated genetic engineering would be disastrous.

01:11:39.000 We're already seeing that.

01:11:40.000 I mean, the government is pro-abortion, they're also pro-refugee status, pro-open borders, so we're getting these Indians who come in here, they don't want girls, so they commit gendercide and abort all their girls. 1.00

01:11:54.000 We're already getting this. 0.99

01:11:56.000 Um, so yeah, Ted Kaczynski's a fucking genius. 0.99

01:11:59.000 I'm sorry. 0.98

01:12:00.000 I've been in a lot of arguments where I want to quote him, but I just will say a famous man once said, because if you go, look dude, it's like the Unabomber said, violence solves problems.

01:12:14.000 You can't do that.

01:12:15.000 So don't directly quote him.

01:12:17.000 Sometimes violence is necessary.

01:12:18.000 If you have a problem with Ted Kaczynski, show me the quote where he was wrong and explain why it was wrong.

01:12:27.000 I love my Nick Fuentes.

01:12:28.000 Have you noticed he looks like Joseph Mengeles?

01:12:32.000 I have not noticed that.

01:12:33.000 I'm not big, I'm not up on my Nazis. 0.78

01:12:35.000 Yeah, Dr. Mengele. 0.86

01:12:37.000 You could show me a picture, I would know who the hell he is.

01:12:39.000 Yeah.

01:12:39.000 I picture a guy with like round glasses, maybe the face melting guy from Indiana Jones.

01:12:44.000 Let's see if he looks like Fuentes.

01:12:49.000 No. 1.00

01:12:50.000 What are you, retarded? 1.00

01:12:51.000 Not even close. 1.00

01:12:53.000 Did you mean to say acts like?

01:12:57.000 I'm just kidding.

01:12:58.000 Did you mean his brain?

01:12:58.000 Let me act something.

01:13:01.000 His brain looks like Mengele. 0.86

01:13:03.000 No, but there was a guy that had like almost bald with the little circle glasses.

01:13:06.000 He was another big one, but I don't remember what he was or who he was.

01:13:08.000 Wait, you were close there, right?

01:13:10.000 Was that Heinrich Himmler?

01:13:11.000 Yes, that was it.

01:13:11.000 No, go up a bit.

01:13:13.000 The glasses guy, right there.

01:13:14.000 Who's that?

01:13:16.000 Those are probably actors.

01:13:18.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:13:18.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:13:19.000 So that's a stupid comment. 1.00

01:13:21.000 Heinrich Himmler. 1.00

01:13:22.000 Let me see.

01:13:23.000 Heinrich Himmler.

01:13:26.000 That's the first Heinrich.

01:13:27.000 Yeah, that's the guy with the glasses.

01:13:29.000 Yeah, that's no Nick.

01:13:31.000 No, no, no.

01:13:32.000 That was just we were just thinking about the Indiana Jones man.

01:13:35.000 So here we go.

01:13:36.000 There's another hundred one. 0.97

01:13:39.000 I was disappointed to hear Michael was gay. 0.99

01:13:42.000 Here's $100 for conversion therapy.

01:13:44.000 I hope he gets through with it for himself or at least for his daughter.

01:13:48.000 Love you guys.

01:13:48.000 I think he's back in the show on Monday.

01:13:50.000 I have to do some stuff and run some errands, so I'll be in and out.

01:13:53.000 So he'll be behind the board on Monday.

01:13:54.000 Oh yes, Michael. 0.99

01:13:55.000 I didn't know who the fuck they were talking about. 0.99

01:13:56.000 Yeah, I was kind of... African-American Michael, right? 0.99

01:14:01.000 Great guy!

01:14:02.000 I mean, we love Michael.

01:14:04.000 Okay, let's open up the phone lines.

01:14:08.000 Start taking Cazals.

01:14:09.000 Yeah, we're an hour 22 in and it's still been free.

01:14:13.000 So that's a nice treat.

01:14:14.000 So that's good.

01:14:15.000 It's a nice treat for everyone.

01:14:16.000 You know what I realized with the letters recently?

01:14:20.000 I could put in a search word like Canadian or Nazi or Miley Cyrus and do like 50 letters from that subject.

01:14:33.000 That's how many thousands of emails we have.

01:14:36.000 It's like chat GPT.

01:14:38.000 Oh, I should turn this on, I guess.

01:14:41.000 Wait, no, it's this one, Gav. 0.55

01:14:44.000 So this one isn't mine?

01:14:46.000 No.

01:14:48.000 Okay. 0.99

01:14:49.000 That's when he's gay. 0.99

01:14:50.000 What about, uh, John and Dickman? 0.57

01:14:53.000 Can they?

01:14:54.000 Um, they were, I believe if Matty just puts it in an area that's close to both of them, like a midpoint, like, um, if you put it at the end of the bar closer to them and aim it towards them, these are so wide open, you will be able to hear them.

01:15:12.000 Ooh, let my dogs out. 0.97

01:15:14.000 We got an email from our ad guy.

01:15:17.000 Mm-hmm.

01:15:17.000 And he would like us to know that we caught him.

01:15:21.000 But he says I don't smoke weed.

01:15:28.000 Um, here's a question for you, Dickman.

01:15:32.000 Did the cop who busted the serial killer know that the dead girl in the serial killer's truck, the prostitute, was the girlfriend of the lead singer of the band Reagan Youth?

01:15:45.000 Are you talking about Joel Rifkin?

01:15:47.000 Yes.

01:15:47.000 I think they're mixing up two, uh... Oh!

01:15:51.000 He's not talking about Neal's, uh, Kathleen. 0.97

01:15:54.000 When Joel Rifkin said, there's a dead prostitute. 0.60

01:15:57.000 No, I don't think he knew. 0.94

01:15:58.000 No.

01:15:58.000 Yeah.

01:15:59.000 No.

01:15:59.000 She's kind of famous in the alt scene, but who cares?

01:16:05.000 Who gives a crap? 0.97

01:16:08.000 I wrote down some, some mailbags that were particularly important. 0.98

01:16:13.000 We, we would be, I would be remiss if we did not cover the incredible Project Veritas discovery.

01:16:24.000 That's got 11 million views.

01:16:25.000 Which, no one is getting the real story here.

01:16:28.000 The real story here is affirmative action.

01:16:30.000 You had to get your ESG up, your, what is it, environmental social governance up as a major corporation. 0.91

01:16:38.000 So you hire this gay black consultant and put him at the top of research. 0.99

01:16:43.000 And now if anyone gives you shit for being too white, you go, oh really? 1.00

01:16:46.000 What about this gay fag? 1.00

01:16:49.000 Who happens to be black? 1.00

01:16:51.000 Or this black who happens to be a fag. 1.00

01:16:55.000 And now the fact that he's totally fucking incompetent doesn't matter. 1.00

01:17:00.000 So I don't know how many clips you have, Ryan. 0.99

01:17:07.000 Just look up Veritas in the email or online.

01:17:12.000 Then there's the new thing where he confronts him.

01:17:15.000 There's him talking in the restaurant, which can be kind of hard to follow.

01:17:19.000 And then there's him getting confronted at a restaurant later on.

01:17:24.000 There we go.

01:17:24.000 Start with that one.

01:17:25.000 This one has 500,000 on Twitter.

01:17:27.000 It's got 11 million.

01:17:30.000 Is it 11 million?

01:17:33.000 Well, that is not what we say to the public.

01:17:38.000 No.

01:17:38.000 Don't tell anyone this is going on.

01:17:40.000 We're exploring, like, you know how the virus keeps mutating?

01:17:44.000 Yeah.

01:17:45.000 Well, one of the things we're exploring is, like, why don't we just mutate it ourselves so we can preemptively develop new vaccines, right?

01:17:51.000 So we have to do that. 0.99

01:17:52.000 If we're going to do that, though, there's a risk of, like, as you could imagine, no one wants to be having a pharma company mutating fucking viruses. 0.96

01:17:59.000 Okay, so anyway, he says we're considering mutating the virus ourselves. 0.90

01:18:02.000 And then he talks about using monkeys to do it and stuff, which sounds like gain of function.

01:18:05.000 I'm using this virus as a potential bioweapon, which got us into this mess in the first place.

01:18:25.000 We don't want China doing this.

01:18:26.000 We don't want America doing this.

01:18:28.000 I don't want anyone playing with deadly viruses. 0.99

01:18:33.000 So this homo is on a date with a Project Veritas dude who's pretending to be gay, I guess. 1.00

01:18:38.000 Yoo-hoo! 1.00

01:18:41.000 And he confesses all this.

01:18:44.000 So then James confronts him at a restaurant.

01:18:47.000 And what they do is, I think they say they want another date.

01:18:51.000 Oh yeah, look at this.

01:18:52.000 Sounds like he ain't a function to me.

01:18:54.000 Well, they call it a different name.

01:18:57.000 Genetic engineering function. 0.71

01:19:00.000 You're using directed evolution.

01:19:02.000 Manipulating a virus as a potential bioweapon.

01:19:05.000 Yeah, the term they use was directed evolution.

01:19:09.000 Tomato, tomato.

01:19:12.000 But they're doing it so that they can preemptively have a vaccine for it.

01:19:17.000 Sounds good.

01:19:17.000 Thanks.

01:19:19.000 Yeah, why don't you just make bioweapons all day and then create vaccines for them. 0.99

01:19:24.000 But promise me you're going to lock them up tight and they won't get out like they got out in Wuhan. 0.99

01:19:29.000 So the funnest part of this is James confronts him at a restaurant and he goes, I was, it's a joke.

01:19:36.000 I'm a liar.

01:19:37.000 I'm lying.

01:19:38.000 I was trying to impress my date. 0.99

01:19:40.000 I was just trying to get cock, dummies. 1.00

01:19:42.000 Lied suddenly. 1.00

01:19:44.000 I'm just looking for eight inches.

01:19:47.000 You see, I'm a cowboy.

01:19:48.000 Jordan, is this real life? 0.99

01:19:50.000 I'm literally a liar.

01:19:52.000 I was trying to impress a person on a date. 0.99

01:19:55.000 I'm a liar. 0.93

01:19:56.000 This is absurd. 0.89

01:19:57.000 Please don't touch me.

01:20:00.000 Don't tell anybody.

01:20:01.000 We gotta go back to the beginning.

01:20:03.000 I like that, is this real life?

01:20:05.000 Yeah.

01:20:06.000 Is this the real life?

01:20:08.000 Hey there.

01:20:09.000 Is this seat taken?

01:20:10.000 You work for Pfizer.

01:20:11.000 My question to you is why does Pfizer want to hide from the public the fact that they're mutating the COVID viruses?

01:20:18.000 Is this real life?

01:20:19.000 I'm literally a liar.

01:20:21.000 I was trying to impress a person on a date. 0.99

01:20:24.000 I'm a liar. 0.93

01:20:25.000 This is absurd. 0.89

01:20:26.000 Please don't touch me.

01:20:26.000 Well this is not, by the way, don't tell anybody.

01:20:29.000 Why are you doing this?

01:20:30.000 This is so like, he was just working at a company to literally tell the public.

01:20:35.000 What is he holding, a microphone?

01:20:37.000 Oh, nice push! 1.00

01:21:04.000 The cameraman fights back. 0.99

01:21:06.000 So he says, get the fuck out of here. 0.98

01:21:09.000 And then he calls the cops and they go, okay, fine, we'll leave. 0.99

01:21:15.000 And he goes, no, you're not going anywhere!

01:21:32.000 Is this real life?

01:21:33.000 And then the cops show up and they go, we would have arrested him, but he's gone.

01:21:37.000 That's exactly right, Gavin.

01:21:38.000 Oh my god, James O'Keefe.

01:21:41.000 Yes.

01:21:43.000 You did a great job.

01:21:44.000 This must be probably the biggest scoop of your career.

01:21:47.000 That's correct.

01:21:48.000 I think the part of this story that a lot of people are looking over is the fact that the dinner, the food was cold.

01:21:55.000 We looked into this.

01:21:56.000 We sent a Project Veritas food guy out there, and like Matty might know, food should be hot!

01:22:03.000 But was it?

01:22:05.000 No, it was lukewarm.

01:22:07.000 No, I don't think that's the takeaway at all.

01:22:09.000 That's the takeaway?

01:22:10.000 No, the takeaway is that the biggest corporation in the world who made possibly trillions from the vaccine is looking into more mutations so they can make more vaccines and make more money.

01:22:23.000 And in danger is all.

01:22:25.000 That's true.

01:22:26.000 But what's worse?

01:22:27.000 Gain of function or cold calamari?

01:22:30.000 Gain of function.

01:22:32.000 And the real takeaway here is when they gave us the takeaway, they didn't put it in a bag.

01:22:36.000 Just a styrofoam box. 0.99

01:22:38.000 Okay, I think you're, James, I think you're blowing your biggest scoop of your life with this bullshit tangent. 0.99

01:22:43.000 Speaking of scoops, the dessert. 0.99

01:22:45.000 Ice cream.

01:22:45.000 That was pretty good.

01:22:48.000 Our Project Veritas ice cream experts tested it out for themselves.

01:22:52.000 Unfortunately, they had a cavity and it hurt their molar.

01:22:56.000 Wow.

01:23:01.000 Uh, is there any more juice with this?

01:23:06.000 Speaking of juice... Please do.

01:23:11.000 Please do call the police.

01:23:12.000 I'm sorry, this is insane you guys.

01:23:15.000 Is this real life?

01:23:17.000 This is again... 0.98

01:23:19.000 Like black gays with high IQs are the most coveted human beings in America. 1.00

01:23:26.000 So they probably get, I mean, this guy's a fucking boob and he's working at Pfizer as a head of research. 0.99

01:23:31.000 So he's never been told no, he's never had any problems with his life. 0.99

01:23:35.000 He's always been the bell of the ball.

01:23:37.000 He's special. 1.00

01:23:37.000 And here he is, his horny hubris fucked up his life and he's getting his first no, his first punch in the face. 1.00

01:23:45.000 Pfizer's had everything like on all their platforms all the commenting everything was just been shut off whoo-hoo Damage control. 0.98

01:23:54.000 Oh, yeah emotional damage And also the Yelp account has been shut down for comments as well Then there was a picture of the the laptop of the thing is an RIP

01:24:12.000 What?

01:24:13.000 Not even close.

01:24:25.000 I'm gonna guess bottom.

01:24:26.000 I'm gonna guess fired. 0.93

01:24:45.000 This is the same thing the black girl did in the other video. 0.95

01:24:49.000 I'm gonna flip the script and tell you you're doing something wrong. 1.00

01:24:52.000 He put a little bass in his voice and was like, no you fucked up! 1.00

01:24:55.000 We all know, no you fucked up! 1.00

01:25:00.000 He's a cowboy. 1.00

01:25:01.000 He's getting fucked up right now. 0.99

01:25:06.000 This is not how he wanted. 1.00

01:25:07.000 I'm a bottom.

01:25:09.000 I'm not even a scientist by background.

01:25:11.000 I'm not even a scientist by background?

01:25:13.000 What do you do a 23andMe to figure that out?

01:25:19.000 See that's where I got the affirmative action from.

01:25:20.000 I'm not even a scientist.

01:25:22.000 I work at a consulting firm and we're just working there.

01:25:26.000 Please do call the cops.

01:25:30.000 Call somebody.

01:25:31.000 Because if these allegations are true, heads need to roll.

01:25:35.000 Are you showing us the frozen mudslide?

01:25:38.000 Yeah.

01:25:40.000 Did he order a white Russian?

01:25:42.000 What is a frozen mudslide? 1.00

01:25:43.000 Is that like a dessert with chocolate and fucking... Well, Gavin, I'll tell you. 1.00

01:25:46.000 A mudslide's a drink. 1.00

01:25:48.000 You gotta be a bottom to know that.

01:25:51.000 What is it, like a chocolatey... I don't know anything about it, actually, now that he said that.

01:25:59.000 What is it, uh, Matty?

01:26:01.000 I don't know exactly what's in it, but a mudslide is a cocktail.

01:26:05.000 What's in a mudslide cocktail?

01:26:10.000 Vodka, Kahlua, and Irish cream.

01:26:14.000 Bailey's Irish creme.

01:26:15.000 That sounds fun!

01:26:18.000 Except it wasn't fun. 0.97

01:26:21.000 It's like a black Russian. 1.00

01:26:22.000 Which is bad. 0.80

01:26:22.000 Yeah. 0.80

01:26:25.000 Okay.

01:26:27.000 I feel like, James, you should more focus on Pfizer using monkeys to destroy the world and less on mudslides and the temperature of your meal.

01:26:37.000 I'll take it.

01:26:38.000 I'll take that note.

01:26:40.000 Okay, great.

01:26:42.000 Please do!

01:26:43.000 Why would you call the cops if you have nothing to hide?

01:26:49.000 So he's obviously having one of the most outrageous reactions I've ever seen in the history of Project Veritas.

01:26:56.000 He's threatening to call the police.

01:26:57.000 People tell me I have a where is Ferris Bueller now energy.

01:27:01.000 Bueller?

01:27:03.000 Do you get that?

01:27:04.000 No.

01:27:04.000 The dancing, the fun, but also getting down to brass tacks, messing with the establishment.

01:27:13.000 Okay, he grabbed the microphone.

01:27:15.000 He's telling the staff.

01:27:18.000 It's like the biggest controversy since Watergate and he's telling some waitresses.

01:27:24.000 I am not a crook!

01:27:25.000 Can the staff now be held for kidnapping because they're locking the door and holding them against their will?

01:27:31.000 Yeah, that's a bad move.

01:27:32.000 Oh, truth to power.

01:27:34.000 Unlawful imprisonment? 1.00

01:27:35.000 Open the fucking door, lady. 1.00

01:27:37.000 Don't get involved in this. 1.00

01:27:38.000 It's way over your head.

01:27:39.000 This is over, like, Biden's head.

01:27:41.000 This is over all heads.

01:27:44.000 They were taking a side, though.

01:27:45.000 Like, one of the waitresses, like, escorted him to the back to make the phone call or whatever, and then he's, you know, like, called the police, and then they're, like, doing it. 0.87

01:27:50.000 Yeah, well, the gay black guy's always right. 1.00

01:27:52.000 That's how he got his job. 0.99

01:27:53.000 The customer's always right, especially the gay black guy. 1.00

01:27:56.000 The question is, why is he calling the police? 0.97

01:27:57.000 Guys, can you just respect my father's lifestyle?

01:28:02.000 He's there with them now.

01:28:04.000 He's one of them.

01:28:05.000 They've taken him in.

01:28:06.000 Can you just respect my father's restaurant?

01:28:08.000 What? 0.99

01:28:15.000 The waitress just wants her... Hey, who's gonna pay this goddamn check? 1.00

01:28:19.000 He's so spoiled that he thinks, after the biggest fuck-up on earth, that he's going to come out on top and they're gonna be fucked. 1.00

01:28:27.000 So they're all going to jail. 1.00

01:28:30.000 No, dude.

01:28:32.000 You're the bad guy.

01:28:33.000 What is the intention of calling the police?

01:28:39.000 Can I talk to you please about this video?

01:28:41.000 I'll tell you right now. 1.00

01:28:45.000 If they locked me in that restaurant, one of them fucking chairs would've went through the fucking door. 1.00

01:28:51.000 Or window. 1.00

01:28:51.000 You're not fucking holding me against my fucking will. 1.00

01:28:55.000 Like a dick. 1.00

01:28:57.000 He would. 1.00

01:28:58.000 The guy.

01:28:59.000 Yeah, he would.

01:29:00.000 What did you say?

01:29:01.000 Sure.

01:29:01.000 Where is it?

01:29:02.000 How did you bring race into this?

01:29:07.000 We have you on tape talking about mutating the COVID virus.

01:29:14.000 May I show you the video? 0.77

01:29:15.000 These are insane people.

01:29:17.000 I haven't seen all this.

01:29:18.000 Do we have to leave?

01:29:20.000 Yes.

01:29:20.000 Okay.

01:29:23.000 I gotta say, that's actually kind of a good angle.

01:29:25.000 Where'd they meet up?

01:29:25.000 On Tinder or something?

01:29:26.000 Well, it's called Grindr, John.

01:29:27.000 Grindr, okay.

01:29:51.000 Yeah, you should know.

01:29:53.000 Well, it's how I met you.

01:29:56.000 This is the worst catfishing ever, right?

01:29:58.000 And in this guy's mind, I was catfished.

01:30:01.000 And by the way, catfish was not on the menu that evening.

01:30:05.000 At the pizzeria.

01:30:06.000 That's true.

01:30:06.000 A lot of food pods in this story.

01:30:09.000 Okay, can we switch over to thank you for calling and then... I keep meaning to go behind the paywall an hour and a half ago.

01:30:17.000 By the way, you mentioned... Are we going behind the paywall?

01:30:19.000 Eventually?

01:30:20.000 You really want to?

01:30:21.000 No, I just, if we do, I want to make one announcement before we do. 0.97

01:30:25.000 Oh, are you going to blow your head off? 0.98

01:30:26.000 No, I just want to tell officer... Have you got a paper bag with a gun in it? 1.00

01:30:31.000 No.

01:30:31.000 No, I just want to tell somebody to stop freeloading and get a subscription.

01:30:35.000 Okay, let's do it.

01:30:37.000 Officer Brian Dow of Riley County, Kansas Police Department.

01:30:42.000 Stop freeloading and get a subscription.

01:30:44.000 Freeloader!

01:30:45.000 Ten bucks a month. 1.00

01:30:47.000 You just got called out, motherfucker. 1.00

01:30:50.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:30:51.000 He's a cowboy. 1.00

01:30:54.000 And if you don't start paying for a subscription, which is a mere $10 a month, it's a beer and a half, depending on where you buy beer, we will send that crazy black chick over to your house to question all your garbage searches, to freak out about her fucking hair, and to say, on my soul, I will spit on you. 1.00

01:31:20.000 She might be wearing pajama pants, you won't be able to cuff her. 1.00

01:31:23.000 How much could a cop in Kansas be making?

01:31:26.000 With Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz, what are they making?

01:31:28.000 30 grand a year?

01:31:29.000 40 grand?

01:31:29.000 Maybe double that.

01:31:32.000 He's, yeah, he's in that county, I think.

01:31:35.000 He's a county, it's a county police department. 1.00

01:31:37.000 So there's two Kansas cities right next to each other, the world's stupidest idea. 1.00

01:31:40.000 Across the river. 0.99

01:31:41.000 So is it Missouri?

01:31:43.000 He lives in Manhattan, Kansas.

01:31:45.000 His name is, his social security number is, so it's whatever is around there.

01:31:50.000 His wife's name is. 0.91

01:31:52.000 He's got enough money.

01:31:54.000 Yeah.

01:31:55.000 10 bucks a month.

01:31:55.000 Well, cops are cheap.

01:31:58.000 I'm not gonna knock the state troopers, but cops, you know, they could squeeze a nickel and make a buffalo for it.

01:32:02.000 They were born with short hands and deep pockets.

01:32:09.000 By the way, you mentioned Nixon.

01:32:11.000 This was a great piece by Tucker.

01:32:12.000 You could look it up on your own, but it's titled Biden is Done.

01:32:16.000 But he goes into the fact that, like, he was the most popular president ever.

01:32:19.000 He got 13 million votes, more than the person that replaced him.

01:32:22.000 And without, they just forced him out without any crimes or anything like that.

01:32:26.000 There was some conspiracy.

01:32:27.000 No.

01:32:27.000 And the brilliant journalist who discovered Watergate was hired by the FBI.

01:32:33.000 He was an ex-naval dude.

01:32:34.000 Right.

01:32:34.000 He was handed this story.

01:32:36.000 And what was the big deal?

01:32:37.000 I'm very

01:32:39.000 Linardian about Watergate.

01:32:41.000 It doesn't bother me.

01:32:43.000 Gerald Ford was the only

01:32:47.000 The person who became president was never elected to any office.

01:32:51.000 What about LBJ?

01:32:53.000 No, he was John Kennedy's vice president.

01:32:57.000 Gerald Ford, like the legislative branch of the government, Senate and Congress, nominated him.

01:33:06.000 It wasn't like a public election.

01:33:08.000 So he was implanted by the DNC with no vote.

01:33:13.000 Gerald Ford.

01:33:15.000 That was a great movie, LBJ.

01:33:20.000 You ever see that movie?

01:33:21.000 We're gonna lose this Vietnam War. 0.96

01:33:24.000 All these, well, what do you say?

01:33:26.000 Chinks or whatever. 0.96

01:33:26.000 In Vietnam. 0.96

01:33:27.000 Gooks.

01:33:28.000 Gooks.

01:33:29.000 They're sitting in the rice field waiting for our soldiers and our soldiers are in the foxholes smoking cigarettes.

01:33:37.000 He's famous for saying, you get me in the presidency, you get me the presidency and I'll give you your war.

01:33:43.000 Yeah and Nixon was trying to point out that the CIA had a lot to do with, were involved and had to do with John's death.

01:33:50.000 He kept saying that and they think that was a big part of the Warren Commission.

01:33:54.000 Wait, you called JFK John?

01:33:56.000 Yeah.

01:33:56.000 Could that be more confusing?

01:33:58.000 That's what he did.

01:33:58.000 They call him Jack or John.

01:33:59.000 Okay, just say JFK from now on.

01:34:02.000 Jack Kennedy.

01:34:03.000 By the way, I'm a little annoyed at all of you for not laughing when I said I'm very Leonardian when it comes to Watergate.

01:34:08.000 I don't even know what the word means.

01:34:09.000 Leonardian?

01:34:10.000 Could you spell that please?

01:34:11.000 Leonard Skinner.

01:34:13.000 Watergate doesn't bother me, does your conscience bother you?

01:34:15.000 That's a deep cut.

01:34:16.000 Maybe I should say Skinnerdian. 1.00

01:34:18.000 Or I'm very Leonard Skinnerdian when it comes to Watergate.

01:34:22.000 Well, it's a reference to Neil Young.

01:34:25.000 Wait, what's the name of the song?

01:34:29.000 Sweet Home Alabama?

01:34:32.000 I'm very Sweet Home Alabamian when it comes to Watergate.

01:34:35.000 Yeah, you're right, that's better.

01:34:36.000 It's a little more zoned in.

01:34:39.000 So, we're going to go behind the paywall?

01:34:41.000 No, no, we're gonna do the mailbag and we haven't taken a call.

01:34:44.000 The whole point of this free show is to show people what the show is like, which is retarded because this show is not like any other show. 0.98

01:34:51.000 Every show I have a suit on and I go through the news in a very Tucker Carlson, Howard Stern kind of way, but in this show we just fucking goof with the guys. 0.94

01:34:59.000 It's true. 0.85

01:35:00.000 So, I don't know, this business model.

01:35:04.000 Free ballin'.

01:35:05.000 Maybe once a month we give away a Friday show or something?

01:35:07.000 I don't know.

01:35:08.000 I thought about it.

01:35:09.000 I don't know.

01:35:10.000 This shouldn't be the free show.

01:35:28.000 Why was that a split screen?

01:35:30.000 Um, I have this thing.

01:35:31.000 It's an overlay.

01:35:33.000 So, um, like it's meant for the chats.

01:35:36.000 Oh, okay. 0.99

01:35:37.000 So you fucked up, I guess is the short answer. 1.00

01:35:38.000 Yes. 1.00

01:35:40.000 Um, let's take a couple calls.

01:35:42.000 We'll make the last half hour.

01:35:44.000 By the way, to your cop buddy in Kansas, this is an hour and a half a week.

01:35:50.000 The show is an hour and a half a day.

01:35:54.000 Every day.

01:35:56.000 So he's really denying himself a lot of gold.

01:35:58.000 And then we have our new segment.

01:35:59.000 He's going to subscribe.

01:36:00.000 We have our new segment, Cop Talk.

01:36:02.000 That's right.

01:36:04.000 Bernard is on the lawn.

01:36:07.000 Hello, Bernard.

01:36:08.000 What's going on, Andy?

01:36:10.000 Can you believe the transphobia here, folks?

01:36:13.000 Can you believe the transphobia here, folks?

01:36:15.000 What's that from?

01:36:16.000 It's Jim Carrey.

01:36:17.000 This drop right here.

01:36:19.000 Can you believe the transphobia here, folks?

01:36:23.000 Hey, question for Gabby.

01:36:25.000 How come your impression of Scary Perry is identical to your impression of Maddie?

01:36:42.000 Because Scary Perry is identical to Matty O'Dell as far as voice box goes.

01:36:49.000 Matty, what do you think?

01:36:51.000 Hey, I got a squeaky high-pitched voice and I'm animated.

01:36:54.000 I mean, Perry's an octave higher, I guess, and Matty has a New York accent, but I think they're pretty similar. 0.96

01:37:01.000 I live in a shitty little apartment. 0.99

01:37:03.000 You live in a shitty little apartment. 0.99

01:37:04.000 We actually have a clothes peg around one of his ball sacks to get him to go a little higher. 0.99

01:37:10.000 What pitch do you need?

01:37:12.000 I adjusted accordingly.

01:37:14.000 Brian, you're the imitation guy.

01:37:16.000 There we go.

01:37:17.000 Tell me the difference between Perry and Matty.

01:37:19.000 There we go.

01:37:20.000 By the way, thanks for calling.

01:37:21.000 Let me see.

01:37:22.000 Matty, say a couple things.

01:37:24.000 Yo, cuz! 1.00

01:37:25.000 Yo, cuz! 1.00

01:37:27.000 No, it's just tough.

01:37:28.000 It's just tough.

01:37:28.000 Like, I don't have the foundation to start.

01:37:31.000 Like, the starting point is kind of important.

01:37:33.000 Do you have, like, a voice that... Like, we have two different starting points.

01:37:36.000 I don't know what it is. 0.99

01:37:37.000 Yeah, just, Matt Perry is like, what the fuck? 0.99

01:37:41.000 It's not, it's Perry Caravello! 0.99

01:37:43.000 Yeah, which one are you doing?

01:37:43.000 I think Gavin's is more like Super Grover-ish.

01:37:47.000 Gavin's more of a Super Grover-ish.

01:37:49.000 You know what I was thinking?

01:37:49.000 We need a better ending for your show.

01:37:51.000 What about this?

01:37:52.000 So be cool, stay warm, and if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

01:37:57.000 Hey, that's kind of nice.

01:37:58.000 There we go.

01:37:59.000 That's the new one.

01:38:00.000 I'm a fan of the show because it has to do with food, you see.

01:38:04.000 And I really like Matty's send-off.

01:38:06.000 It's keep watching, keep commenting, keep subscribing.

01:38:09.000 I've actually fed some of the PV people.

01:38:12.000 I know, that's why we gave you these hats.

01:38:14.000 We're making chef hats, by the way.

01:38:16.000 Nice.

01:38:16.000 Thank you, James.

01:38:17.000 You're welcome.

01:38:18.000 Two fingers, peace.

01:38:19.000 And I'm out.

01:38:21.000 I wanted to, uh... There's a couple of emails I really wanted to get to.

01:38:28.000 But, uh... Oh, shit. 1.00

01:38:30.000 Emails. 1.00

01:38:32.000 This dude sent us a Mitch Hedberg joke that fucking chat GPT wrote. 0.99

01:38:38.000 No. 0.99

01:38:39.000 Is it good?

01:38:39.000 I bet it is.

01:38:40.000 Yes, it is good.

01:38:41.000 Sprinkles?

01:38:42.000 A computer listened to a hundred hours of Mitch.

01:38:45.000 There's not that much Mitch Hedberg out there.

01:38:47.000 There's not a hundred hours.

01:38:47.000 I've listened to everything he's got.

01:38:50.000 It's like Lenny Bruce and Bill Hicks.

01:38:52.000 You're done in a day.

01:38:54.000 There's probably twelve hours of Lenny Bruce, Mitch Hedberg and Bill Hicks out there.

01:39:02.000 They died.

01:39:04.000 So, they told ChatGPT to write a Mitch Hedberg joke and he wrote,

01:39:10.000 I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

01:39:14.000 Wait, that is a joke.

01:39:15.000 Oh, it is?

01:39:16.000 Yeah, that is his joke, yeah. 1.00

01:39:17.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00

01:39:18.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:39:19.000 Wait, so now, wait a minute, this changes everything.

01:39:22.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:39:22.000 ChatGPT just steals jokes?

01:39:25.000 Good point.

01:39:25.000 I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

01:39:27.000 Yeah, that's Mitch Hedberg.

01:39:28.000 Are you positive?

01:39:29.000 Yes.

01:39:30.000 Well, I don't believe you.

01:39:32.000 Detective Shitty's on the job.

01:39:33.000 You're wrong on a regular basis.

01:39:35.000 Not when it comes to Hedberg, bro.

01:39:37.000 Yo, bro.

01:39:39.000 It might be, it might, I'll give you this.

01:39:41.000 It might be against protesting, but I don't know how to show it.

01:39:43.000 No, you're right.

01:39:44.000 I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

01:39:45.000 Wait a minute.

01:39:46.000 So now ChatGBD just goes, write a sonnet by Shakespeare and they just Google Shakespeare and cut and paste a paragraph?

01:39:54.000 Wait, here we go.

01:39:56.000 I found it.

01:39:57.000 You're right.

01:39:58.000 I'm going to play that bumper again.

01:40:01.000 Wait, I'm not wrong though.

01:40:03.000 I don't know.

01:40:04.000 Just cause you're right.

01:40:06.000 Yeah.

01:40:07.000 Wow, right twice in one show? 1.00

01:40:09.000 Oh shit. 1.00

01:40:10.000 That's right. 1.00

01:40:11.000 I'm right.

01:40:13.000 Show it. 1.00

01:40:14.000 What the fuck is this? 1.00

01:40:14.000 Come on. 1.00

01:40:16.000 They autoplay, but then they have the volume up.

01:40:18.000 I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

01:40:20.000 I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

01:40:22.000 I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

01:40:25.000 I want to start doing, um, like a lost Hedberg thing.

01:40:30.000 Like a fake standup is his like honorably, you know, like not respectfully shut up.

01:40:30.000 That'd be cool.

01:40:36.000 I got a lot of letters about Nicole Arbor when I said that she's right and she's awesome and Candace Owens is wrong.

01:40:41.000 Yeah, she blows. 1.00

01:40:41.000 And a lot of people are like, no dude, you're wrong. 1.00

01:40:45.000 She's no bueno. 1.00

01:40:46.000 Nicole's nuts. 1.00

01:40:47.000 And that guy's a baby monster that, what the fuck's his name? 1.00

01:40:51.000 Ryan Upchurch, which is the second gentleman shown in the video, met her at a bar. 0.99

01:40:57.000 She acted like someone roofied her drink. 0.94

01:41:06.000 He drove her to the ER where she puked all over his car and they found no traces of any substances in her system. 0.94

01:41:13.000 I've seen this with girls by the way when they get nervous they fucking over drink like crazy and then they think they've been roofied or something because they have never done like five shots in a row and then they puke. 0.99

01:41:25.000 She also held his wallet hostage in her Airbnb and took him to court many times where he was exonerated. 0.92

01:41:33.000 Ooh.

01:41:33.000 Careful with them one-night stands, fellas.

01:41:35.000 We opened up a show.

01:41:37.000 By the way, I got a ton of letters like this.

01:41:40.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:41:41.000 I've been getting a bunch of those.

01:41:43.000 From women, too.

01:41:46.000 What does he say here?

01:41:47.000 She's giving women a bad name. 1.00

01:41:49.000 Ryan Upchurch does a lot of comedy, blah, blah, blah.

01:41:52.000 He makes tons of music.

01:41:53.000 He's rich.

01:41:53.000 He doesn't need her.

01:41:56.000 I believe if you listen to his side, you'd get along with him and like him a lot.

01:42:03.000 What does he say?

01:42:05.000 He bought a four screen Lamborghini, blah, blah, blah.

01:42:08.000 He's rich.

01:42:09.000 I don't know why that you can't.

01:42:10.000 I guess you're not.

01:42:11.000 You tend not to be a stalker when you're rich.

01:42:14.000 I can't speak for the other guys.

01:42:15.000 And you mentioned she had all this paperwork showing all this. 0.71

01:42:17.000 But after she after he won his court case against her the first time, he also had paperwork showing how crazy she is.

01:42:25.000 So she sued him in civil court or criminal.

01:42:28.000 I think she sued him in civil court.

01:42:31.000 Yeah, because he couldn't be tried criminally again.

01:42:34.000 If he was exonerated.

01:42:37.000 Total jeopardy.

01:42:38.000 Anyway, have an open mind about that, folks. 1.00

01:42:40.000 There's a lot of fucking crazy shit going on. 1.00

01:42:43.000 So what was he, just like a one night stand that he had? 1.00

01:42:47.000 Or didn't have?

01:42:48.000 Well, their side of the story is she's just a nut who, uh, who court, like she courted Ryan Upchurch, I guess. 0.99

01:43:00.000 I don't fucking know. 0.98

01:43:02.000 They both sound... I'm so stupid. 1.00

01:43:06.000 Remember, I was in the special class in eighth grade. 1.00

01:43:08.000 So I hear her side and I'm like, that's fucked up. 0.99

01:43:10.000 You're being stalked by psychos. 1.00

01:43:12.000 And then I hear the psycho side and I'm like, that's fucked up. 1.00

01:43:14.000 That bitch is insane. 1.00

01:43:17.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:43:20.000 Even the Steven Crowder thing. 1.00

01:43:21.000 I'm like, he's a retard. 1.00

01:43:22.000 He said no to 50 million. 0.97

01:43:24.000 And then Lauren Chen goes, he could make $80,000 an episode in ads alone.

01:43:28.000 They offered him 65. 0.99

01:43:30.000 That's fucked up. 1.00

01:43:31.000 They should fuck off. 1.00

01:43:34.000 Real wishy-washy over there. 1.00

01:43:36.000 Well, I mean, it's like the Holocaust. 0.92

01:43:39.000 You really got to care and do your research.

01:43:40.000 You can't just half-heartedly assign a belief to something so nuanced.

01:43:45.000 Just kidding, Jews. 1.00

01:43:46.000 Calm down. 1.00

01:43:47.000 Yes, it's definitely bad and it sucks. 0.98

01:43:48.000 Calm down. 0.95

01:43:50.000 We're having some fun.

01:43:54.000 I also wanted to read this Gavin-pretending-to-be-black email.

01:44:02.000 Oh, no, it's funny.

01:44:05.000 Oh, I think this experiment described here about this self-perceived.

01:44:10.000 Oh, yeah.

01:44:11.000 So a long time ago, I said, here's a fun experiment you can do on your own. 0.97

01:44:15.000 Pretend you're black. 1.00

01:44:18.000 You're not black. 1.00

01:44:18.000 Well, most of you aren't. 1.00

01:44:20.000 And walk around with a racist, like, everyone's racist mentality, and you'll notice all this shit. 0.99

01:44:27.000 Like, for example, I went to this bar where I live, and I was in that black mode all day just for fun, and I sat down, this South African guy saw me, and he scooched over a seat. 0.99

01:44:40.000 Now, I know as a white guy, and I saw the scene, that he was hitting on this girl there. 0.98

01:44:45.000 But I could have easily, in my black head, gone, yo, I sat down in this fucking chair, this South African dude, he sees me and he moves over a chair. 0.99

01:44:57.000 And I had like 40 of those for that day. 0.99

01:45:01.000 And they obviously weren't true, because I'm not black.

01:45:03.000 And this guy explains a similar experiment.

01:45:07.000 Actually, it's the exact same experiment.

01:45:09.000 ...an experiment with a group of women, and they put scars on their faces, and they told these women that they're going into a job interview.

01:45:17.000 They showed them the scars in the mirror, the women saw themselves with these scars, and as they led them out of the room, they said, we're just gonna touch it up a little bit.

01:45:23.000 And as they touched it up, they removed the scarring completely.

01:45:25.000 So the women went into the job interview thinking that they are scarred, but actually being their normal selves. 0.56

01:45:31.000 And the result of the experiment is that those women then came back reporting massively increased level of discrimination.

01:45:37.000 Indeed, many of them came back with comments that the interviewer had made that they felt were referencing their facial disfigurement.

01:45:46.000 And this is why I think this ideology of victimhood is so dangerous.

01:45:52.000 That's 90% of racism.

01:45:54.000 Oh, yeah. 0.97

01:45:55.000 Is black people just going, oh, I see what's going on here. 1.00

01:45:59.000 I have to get in line because I'm black! 0.99

01:46:01.000 Uh, no, everyone's getting in line. 0.96

01:46:03.000 Sorry, calm down. 0.96

01:46:07.000 But I'm skipping the line because I'm black. 0.85

01:46:10.000 Okay, last one.

01:46:11.000 Phil Anselmo kicked off German festival because of terrorism. 0.99

01:46:17.000 So this fucking douche got Pantera kicked off a German festival because they claim that Phil Anselmo is racist. 0.99

01:46:27.000 They're not in the festival. 1.00

01:46:30.000 They're just a random band called Iron Roses or some shit.

01:46:35.000 Look up Anselmo kicked off German festival. 0.93

01:46:40.000 And it says stoked.

01:46:43.000 It is so important to, to not just call out folks when they are going down a bad path, but to acknowledge when they make a decision to turn back and do the right thing.

01:46:54.000 Oh yeah.

01:46:54.000 It's the few people sent me this.

01:46:58.000 Look at this douche. 0.93

01:47:02.000 Pantera has been taken off the bill, you guys!

01:47:04.000 We did it!

01:47:06.000 Yoo-hoo! 1.00

01:47:08.000 Thanks to everyone who raised their voices and thank you once more to Rock I'm Ring.

01:47:13.000 What?

01:47:15.000 Rock I'm Ring.

01:47:17.000 What?

01:47:18.000 Oh, Rock A.M.

01:47:18.000 Ring.

01:47:19.000 I've seen that before, yeah.

01:47:21.000 Oh, he spelled it wrong in his thing.

01:47:23.000 But who's, the whole band is racist?

01:47:24.000 No, I think they do both.

01:47:26.000 Rock A.M.

01:47:26.000 Ring and then Rock I.M.

01:47:28.000 Park.

01:47:30.000 It's Phil Anselmo racist?

01:47:33.000 Is that what this guy's saying?

01:47:35.000 Yes.

01:47:36.000 Really?

01:47:37.000 Well, their guitarist was involved in a shooting.

01:47:40.000 Years back.

01:47:41.000 Dimebag.

01:47:41.000 Yes, he was involved in a shooting.

01:47:43.000 He was involved in a shooting, that's true.

01:47:46.000 He was the victim of a shooting.

01:47:47.000 That's correct.

01:47:49.000 They won't mention that.

01:47:50.000 P.S.

01:47:50.000 I will still be donating a portion of what I make to C-Punks and to Slow Pristine because I made a promise to do so and what they're doing is so important.

01:48:01.000 So happy!

01:48:01.000 I love you guys!

01:48:04.000 Have they added rappers in this shit yet? 0.99

01:48:05.000 Everything's tainted. 1.00

01:48:06.000 What is Youngblood?

01:48:09.000 Youngblood is the English guy.

01:48:12.000 Okay, that's good.

01:48:13.000 Nothing but thieves?

01:48:15.000 That sounds a little rappy.

01:48:16.000 You gotta see this guy's band though.

01:48:18.000 They're called Iron Roses.

01:48:21.000 Do they pronounce the R?

01:48:24.000 Iron?

01:48:25.000 Yeah.

01:48:26.000 It's a Jewish band then.

01:48:28.000 Iron Roses.

01:48:29.000 What?

01:48:29.000 Are you making fun of my accent?

01:48:31.000 Are they?

01:48:33.000 Oh, they're called Iron Roses.

01:48:34.000 They probably are Jews.

01:48:36.000 Let's see, Nathan Gray and the Iron Roses.

01:48:41.000 Oh, I hope I don't get kicked off this tour by Phil Anselmo.

01:48:46.000 Is that the guy I was just looking at?

01:48:55.000 Yeah.

01:48:57.000 He's like my age.

01:49:04.000 Ew! 0.98

01:49:05.000 What's the tattoo on his neck?

01:49:07.000 What was that guy? 1.00

01:49:08.000 Is that a chick with a dick or no? 1.00

01:49:12.000 We don't know. 1.00

01:49:13.000 Who is that?

01:49:14.000 Wait a minute, were these guys on the bill?

01:49:16.000 That's my dad's business manager.

01:49:17.000 Are these guys on the bill for that festival?

01:49:19.000 No! 1.00

01:49:20.000 Fuck these assholes. 1.00

01:49:22.000 But they got Pantera kicked off. 1.00

01:49:24.000 But they were complaining about it and they got him kicked off. 1.00

01:49:25.000 That's bullshit. 1.00

01:49:28.000 Let's rock out to them. 1.00

01:49:29.000 Look at that guy. 0.59

01:49:31.000 That looks like Drew Carey with AIDS. 0.68

01:49:36.000 Look at that guy.

01:49:37.000 What is the tattoo on his neck?

01:49:39.000 It's an anchor.

01:49:40.000 It looks kind of like the Marines logo.

01:49:42.000 I was going to say, is that an EGA?

01:49:43.000 An anchor?

01:49:44.000 On your neck?

01:49:46.000 Oh wait. 0.95

01:49:47.000 There should be an anchor around his neck. 1.00

01:49:49.000 Maybe he likes a lot of semen. 1.00

01:49:55.000 He's a cowboy. 1.00

01:50:01.000 Eww.

01:50:03.000 Only M. Shadows is allowed to do that.

01:50:05.000 I'm feeling on fire. 1.00

01:50:06.000 He's a fag. 1.00

01:50:08.000 He's a fag. 1.00

01:50:09.000 Look at that hand thing. 1.00

01:50:12.000 Eww.

01:50:13.000 And the ties with the Hawaiian shirts?

01:50:15.000 If you're M. Shadows you can get away with that.

01:50:17.000 That's like the kooky guys at prom.

01:50:19.000 But you're 56.

01:50:21.000 Look how he swings the arm into it.

01:50:22.000 It's like a ducky.

01:50:23.000 Look at the setup.

01:50:24.000 Here it comes.

01:50:30.000 That's so drag queen story. 1.00

01:50:32.000 That's his O face. 1.00

01:50:34.000 He's getting plugged up the ass. 1.00

01:50:36.000 Up the ass. 1.00

01:50:38.000 Swing up the ass. 1.00

01:50:39.000 It's a joke. 1.00

01:50:40.000 He's getting plugged.

01:50:41.000 Okay, sorry.

01:50:41.000 Those are the letters I want to get to.

01:50:43.000 We have a caller on the line.

01:50:44.000 He's been on there for a while.

01:50:45.000 Okay, let's go.

01:50:46.000 206, you're on the links.

01:50:47.000 Hello?

01:50:48.000 206, go ahead.

01:50:51.000 Hey, Gavin Uhuru.

01:50:52.000 Uhuru.

01:50:54.000 Hey, so I got a question for you. 1.00

01:50:56.000 I want to know what your thoughts are on urethral sounding, which is when a guy decides to shove a straw or a rod or some shit down his dick hole. 1.00

01:51:05.000 Urethra. 1.00

01:51:06.000 And I just want to know, like, where does a guy go wrong in his life that that's how he derives his fucking pleasure, that that's what gets him off? 0.99

01:51:15.000 Probably got molested as a kid. 0.99

01:51:17.000 I dated a girl once who was molested as a kid and the shit we had to do, like I had to fucking humiliate her in public, hit her in the face with a loaf of bread at the grocery store and stuff. 0.99

01:51:31.000 She did not want a spoon. 0.99

01:51:32.000 She did not want kissing.

01:51:33.000 Or you could have had a male Filipino nanny. 1.00

01:51:39.000 Yeah, probably molested, dude. 0.97

01:51:42.000 But it's not like it's common.

01:51:44.000 Anyway, thanks for calling.

01:51:46.000 That's terrible.

01:51:47.000 Anybody ever take a VD test?

01:51:49.000 I took one of them in the Navy. 1.00

01:51:51.000 They fucking shove a thing up your fucking... The wooden Q-tip all the way down. 1.00

01:51:55.000 It's the worst.

01:51:56.000 Yeah.

01:51:57.000 It's the worst.

01:51:59.000 I had to take two shots.

01:52:02.000 They were frozen.

01:52:02.000 I had to put them underneath my arm.

01:52:04.000 I was sitting out there, right outside the... 0.99

01:52:08.000 Corman's office on the USS John F. Kennedy in the middle of the ocean saying to myself, what the fuck did I get myself into? 1.00

01:52:14.000 Wait, two shots in your- you had to put ice cubes under your armpits to get your dick checked? 1.00

01:52:19.000 No, what it is, is they give you penicillin shots afterwards. 0.99

01:52:22.000 And they come frozen, so the Corman puts it underneath your arm to defrost them.

01:52:22.000 Oh.

01:52:32.000 An older dude, when I was a teenager, he said, dude, you don't have to do the fucking test. 0.99

01:52:37.000 He goes, you go to the doctor and you say, I'm a virgin and a girl I fucked got chlamydia. 0.99

01:52:44.000 So I know it's me. 0.98

01:52:46.000 We were both virgins.

01:52:47.000 No, wait a minute.

01:52:48.000 She's a virgin.

01:52:49.000 She's a virgin.

01:52:50.000 I'm not a virgin.

01:52:50.000 I got chlamydia.

01:52:52.000 She knows it was me because she's never fucked anyone else. 0.99

01:52:54.000 So they go, oh, OK, well then. 0.99

01:52:56.000 And they just give you the antibiotics for chlamydia.

01:52:59.000 And I go, but aren't there side effects?

01:53:01.000 He goes, no, they're fine.

01:53:02.000 You're too immune to chlamydia? 1.00

01:53:04.000 Big fucking deal. 0.99

01:53:06.000 Well, when you're in the Navy, we were on an I-O cruise going to Australia, and we stopped at a few other ports before that in the Mediterranean. 1.00

01:53:16.000 And I remember, the guy in the Marine Corps detachment, this guy Mac DeMara, he got, you know, same thing with me, he was next to me, and he told me about a week later, it was like a fuckin' hair growing out of the tip of his cock. 0.99

01:53:27.000 Whoa! 0.99

01:53:28.000 And they take you off the ship, and they ship you to Diego Garcia.

01:53:33.000 That's an island right out there and they obviously he stuck his thing in the wrong hole.

01:53:39.000 Yeah well that's not a hair it's probably some sort of like parasite worm or something.

01:53:45.000 I don't know what it was.

01:53:46.000 You're not gonna start sprouting follicles out of the inside of your urethra.

01:53:51.000 It's gotta be a potato or something that's growing there.

01:53:55.000 I didn't ask him was he an anteater or a regular one you know like with that foreskin but I don't know. 0.95

01:54:00.000 Officer John what kind of test did you say that was?

01:54:03.000 For gonorrhea.

01:54:05.000 But, oh, I thought you said a... The clap.

01:54:07.000 A blank blank test.

01:54:08.000 It was two letters.

01:54:11.000 VD.

01:54:11.000 VD?

01:54:12.000 VD.

01:54:12.000 Oh, you said VD.

01:54:13.000 That's venereal disease.

01:54:14.000 Oh, I thought you said ZD test, which I've taken many times.

01:54:18.000 Oy vey.

01:54:19.000 Oh my god. 1.00

01:54:20.000 Did you fuck a lot of Southeast Asian whores when you were in the Navy? 1.00

01:54:24.000 No, I didn't. 1.00

01:54:25.000 No, not you, James.

01:54:26.000 Okay.

01:54:29.000 I never, I was on the East Coast.

01:54:31.000 I was in the Sixth Fleet, so we didn't go over to, what do you call it, the Philippines or any of that area.

01:54:36.000 But you were in Australia?

01:54:38.000 Well, what happened was we took an IO cruise.

01:54:40.000 We went through the Suez Canal, went to Australia, went to Perth, Australia.

01:54:44.000 Beautiful people, beautiful women, and had a great time. 1.00

01:54:48.000 That sounds like you fucked some broads. 1.00

01:54:51.000 A handful. 1.00

01:54:53.000 Six?

01:54:54.000 Yes. 0.99

01:54:56.000 It means I can get my fucking hands on. 1.00

01:55:00.000 Listen, when you're 17, you're young, dumb, full of cum, and you're just having a good time. 1.00

01:55:04.000 Yeah? 1.00

01:55:05.000 And you said you were in the Navy?

01:55:06.000 Yes.

01:55:07.000 Oh, okay, so I don't have to show this.

01:55:09.000 What's that?

01:55:10.000 Gravy.

01:55:13.000 I like these jokes.

01:55:15.000 We have another caller, if you'd like.

01:55:16.000 You should just stand up.

01:55:20.000 We got 714.

01:55:20.000 You're on the lower.

01:55:21.000 Go ahead, 714.

01:55:22.000 Hello?

01:55:25.000 What's happening?

01:55:26.000 Hey, Gavin.

01:55:27.000 Hey man.

01:55:28.000 Hey.

01:55:29.000 Hey, can you hear me?

01:55:29.000 Yeah.

01:55:30.000 Yeah.

01:55:31.000 All right, man.

01:55:33.000 I want to tell you that, um, I, I used to be a tranny. 0.78

01:55:38.000 Whoa. 0.77

01:55:40.000 I used to be a transgender until about a year ago.

01:55:43.000 Back in like, uh, like 2012, I changed my, my sex.

01:55:48.000 I took hormones.

01:55:49.000 I was a drug addict. 0.93

01:55:50.000 I was like abused by a pervert when I was young.

01:55:54.000 And I was in college and I went through the transition. 1.00

01:55:58.000 I never cut my cock off, thankfully. 1.00

01:56:00.000 So you're a dude, you're a gay dude who was molested and you what, you took estrogen and did you grow tits? 1.00

01:56:06.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:56:07.000 No, I never grew tits because I was a crystal meth addict.

01:56:09.000 So that's why I believe, one of the reasons I believe in God is because if you want to see pictures of what I used to look like, have Ryan Google, uh, Google like, 0.64

01:56:20.000 Uh, New York Post detransitioned Brian.

01:56:23.000 B-R-I-A-N. 1.00

01:56:25.000 But anyway, um, I mean, I basically wore woman-face for several years, and I realized it was insane pretty early on when I was in college. 0.96

01:56:35.000 But I heard you on Joe Rogan, I heard you, Milo Yiannopoulos, and Jordan Peterson in, like, 2017, I think it was.

01:56:44.000 And, uh, you guys, uh, turned me into a conservative.

01:56:47.000 You red-pilled me, so to speak.

01:56:49.000 I just wish, I wish that I heard your message in 2011, 2012.

01:56:56.000 I think it would have saved me from doing this.

01:56:58.000 But I did do it, but I've come to my senses.

01:57:02.000 I, you know, I live my life as a man. 0.99

01:57:05.000 I never, I have a cock and balls still. 0.99

01:57:07.000 Nice. 0.99

01:57:08.000 I have testosterone again.

01:57:09.000 That's what's up. 0.99

01:57:10.000 Are you a gay? 0.98

01:57:13.000 Yes, yes, but now that, you know, now with a little bit of testosterone, I sort of feel like... Well, when you were gay, were you a pitcher or a catcher? 1.00

01:57:22.000 I could quite possibly, fuck, maybe, I don't know, possibly, I don't know. 1.00

01:57:26.000 Were you a top or a bottom as a gay? 1.00

01:57:29.000 I was always a bottom to be honest.

01:57:32.000 I think that's great that you didn't do the surgery and everything but and I hope this doesn't discourage you but the surgery has become so much better now it's so much more efficient and what they do is they just cut up the the shaft that gets turned inside out

01:57:53.000 And then they take your pee hole and that's moved downwards. 0.85

01:57:58.000 The labia actually comes from the scrotal sac now and it's the testicles are you don't have to get rid of them you can hide them in the bottom of your butt cheeks. 0.99

01:58:09.000 So 0.99

01:58:10.000 I don't think so, man.

01:58:11.000 I don't think that's how they do it.

01:58:12.000 Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.

01:58:14.000 I would still consider possibly trying it.

01:58:17.000 I mean, the surgery's getting so good now. 1.00

01:58:20.000 You think I should cut my cock off, Gavin? 1.00

01:58:23.000 I mean, no sir. 1.00

01:58:25.000 It's worth a try. 1.00

01:58:26.000 Gavin, Gavin, had I cut my cock off, I would have blown my brains out a la Bud Dwyer. 1.00

01:58:32.000 Don't do that, brother. 1.00

01:58:34.000 Don't do that.

01:58:35.000 I know.

01:58:36.000 That's what I'm going for here. 0.99

01:58:37.000 You're not losing a cock. 1.00

01:58:39.000 You're gaining a pussy. 1.00

01:58:40.000 Hey, had I cut my cock off, Gavin, I wouldn't be speaking to you right now. 1.00

01:58:43.000 I'd be dead. 1.00

01:58:44.000 Yeah, that's why I'm suggesting it. 1.00

01:58:46.000 My cock and balls are my most prized possession are my penis and testicles. 1.00

01:58:52.000 I'm not even exaggerating. 1.00

01:58:54.000 Oh, it's amazing that something so small can be so valuable to someone.

01:58:58.000 Well, some of these... Look, it's possible, honestly.

01:59:02.000 Had I not... 0.97

01:59:06.000 I'm sorry I'm just trying to be funny but yeah that's great that you didn't do that that life-changing surgery it's fucking disgusting who knows how many that's the irony of all these people that say they're empowering trans you're encouraging suicide you're sending people 0.98

01:59:27.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.97

01:59:29.000 Dude, when I transitioned, I was addicted to crystal meth and Xanax.

01:59:33.000 I literally thought the FBI was following me around. 0.99

01:59:36.000 I would use crystal meth and lock myself in my bedroom and I'd watch gay porn all day long. 0.99

01:59:42.000 And I would just get into weirder and weirder pornography. 0.99

01:59:46.000 And I went to a therapist, really, just to tell someone about this weird sex fetish I had because I liked how women got fucked by men. 0.99

01:59:54.000 I envied it. 0.98

01:59:55.000 And I don't know, I guess I got off to a certain extent to that fantasy, and I went to this gender therapist, and she goes, you're really a girl trapped in a boy's body, and you and I have the same brains, and yeah, dude, they made lots and lots of money off of me.

02:00:13.000 Yeah, I mean, it's a horror show and I regret it very much, but you know.

02:00:20.000 We should get you on the show.

02:00:21.000 Let's have a sit-down.

02:00:22.000 Alright.

02:00:23.000 You're on the show.

02:00:23.000 I would love that, dude.

02:00:24.000 I would love that.

02:00:25.000 I'm very open to that.

02:00:26.000 Yeah, let's have a long sit-down.

02:00:28.000 Hey, did you look up the New York Post article?

02:00:31.000 Yeah, we've been showing it on the show.

02:00:34.000 It's sort of like black people. 1.00

02:00:36.000 Ryan follows me on Twitter.

02:00:37.000 I don't know, would you tap that or what?

02:00:39.000 What's your account?

02:00:41.000 Would you hit that?

02:00:43.000 You definitely hit that.

02:00:44.000 I probably would have tapped it.

02:00:46.000 Yeah, well, he's a bottom.

02:00:47.000 Yeah, but I talked like this and my interest was like dirt bikes and firearms and surfing.

02:00:53.000 Nice.

02:00:53.000 I'm still a dude.

02:00:54.000 Yeah, that's funny, too. 0.99

02:00:55.000 Like when the trannies get Miss Miss Jenner, they're like, hey, I'll shit like member of Zoe Tour to Ben Shapiro. 1.00

02:01:03.000 She's like, I will send you home in a fucking ambulance. 1.00

02:01:07.000 Yeah, it's ma'am. 1.00

02:01:08.000 Yeah, it's ma'am, motherfucker. 1.00

02:01:12.000 I was never that radical though like but I live in Los Angeles though so like they make it like ridiculously easy like there's there's no safeguarding to it like if you go to one of these clinics like when I did it you used to have to have a therapist letter but now you don't you can just like walk into one of these places and they'll be like oh yeah you're a woman like let's here here's some estrogen here's a yeah let's let's get your cock cut off you know 1.00

02:01:36.000 Well, I was just going to say, it reminds me of blacks where they don't care about the black family, so they encourage welfare. 1.00

02:01:46.000 They don't care about black on black crime, so they pretend that no one should have a gun. 0.89

02:01:52.000 They don't care about charter schools, even though it's great, especially in Harlem and in poor black areas, because they don't really care about these people. 0.71

02:01:59.000 And with the trans thing, they know the suicide rate is as bad as it was for Jews in Germany in 1943, but they push it anyway because it makes them feel good. 1.00

02:02:09.000 And the fact that you guys get thrown into the wood chipper for them to virtue signal is totally irrelevant to them.

02:02:16.000 Yeah, pretty much.

02:02:19.000 Well, I think it's going to come to a head, though, to be honest.

02:02:21.000 It's going to take another five years or so, but all these little kids that have done it, a lot of them are going to regret it.

02:02:27.000 They're going to be out for blood, and the lawsuits will put an end to a lot of this.

02:02:33.000 I have lawsuits out, so you know what I mean?

02:02:37.000 Good. 1.00

02:02:37.000 Cutting the tits off is fucking awesome. 1.00

02:02:41.000 I wish I had heard you, Jordan Peterson, and Milo in 2011. 1.00

02:02:45.000 Had I heard you in 2011, I never would have gone down the transition.

02:02:49.000 Sounds like you listened to enough Milo.

02:02:52.000 Maybe not Milo.

02:02:55.000 Sounds like you made a difference here, Gavin.

02:02:57.000 Alright, let's keep in touch.

02:02:58.000 I want to fly you up to New York and have a sit down.

02:03:00.000 He wants to go on a date with you.

02:03:02.000 By the way...

02:03:04.000 I have to announce something. 1.00

02:03:05.000 Holy shit, James O'Keefe's a fag. 1.00

02:03:07.000 I'm, excuse me, it's Jane O'Keefe. 1.00

02:03:10.000 Jane O'Keefe's a fag. 1.00

02:03:11.000 Hi, Jane. 0.99

02:03:11.000 My fascination with food comes from my desire to cook it for a man. 0.99

02:03:16.000 I'm Jane O'Keefe, and I'm a trans.

02:03:23.000 You know the retracto?

02:03:24.000 The alpaca?

02:03:26.000 Yeah.

02:03:26.000 Well now we have prolapso.

02:03:36.000 Thanks for tuning in folks.

02:03:38.000 We made the whole show free again. 0.99

02:03:39.000 Fucked up. 0.96

02:03:40.000 Didn't mean to do that. 0.99

02:03:42.000 It's a curse.

02:03:43.000 I'd like to thank the cops.

02:03:44.000 John and Dickman.

02:03:46.000 I'd like to thank the criminal, Matty O. And I'd like to thank the retard, Ryan Katsu Rivera. 1.00

02:03:58.000 Until tomorrow, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting. 0.97

02:04:57.000 I don't know.

02:05:50.000 Yee-hoo-roo! 1.00

02:05:50.000 Can you hear me? 1.00

02:05:54.000 Yee-hoo-roo? 0.98

02:05:57.000 Yee-hoo-roo. 1.00

02:05:58.000 Um, so I have a predicament.

02:06:01.000 Hello to everybody.

02:06:02.000 Um, so, um, I work with a fit chest.

02:06:10.000 He's also, um,

02:06:13.000 I don't know.

02:06:34.000 The kicker is, this woman got me this job. 0.99

02:06:37.000 We used to work at an Irish pub together, and she got me this job. 1.00

02:06:42.000 I was recently promoted to a manager position before she was ever promoted, and all she does is bitches and bitches and bitches. 1.00

02:06:54.000 It's called conventioning. 1.00

02:06:57.000 Right, and I'm like, everything is a problem for her.

02:07:02.000 The issue is, like, I think about it in, you know, a big picture where it's like, you know, she, I'm like, okay, well, where, where would she fit in?

02:07:10.000 Would she fit as a stay-at-home mom? 0.92

02:07:12.000 No, she wouldn't.

02:07:13.000 Would she fit as one of the 5% of women who could be in the workforce? 1.00

02:07:18.000 No, she doesn't.

02:07:19.000 And my whole thing is like, I want to, you know, be, you know, nice and honest with her, but it's just like, she just doesn't, she's not cut out for the workforce. 0.98

02:07:31.000 She doesn't, you know, she just, all she does is complain, and that's the main reason why women don't belong in the workforce, is because she just constantly fucking complains about every single little thing. 1.00

02:07:42.000 I don't know how to go about it. 0.99

02:07:43.000 It drives me fucking insane. 0.98

02:07:45.000 Every single day. 0.99

02:07:46.000 I bet she, if you find out where she hides her birth control, you should replace it with like M&Ms or something. 1.00

02:07:51.000 No, because I think that if she was a mom, she would have real issues to not like, you know, your scope of what's important.

02:07:58.000 I could, I saw it firsthand with my wife, just like zoned in to like real issues, you know?

02:08:04.000 And like, there's just less time to think about, oh, it's too cold in here or whatever.

02:08:09.000 I don't know.

02:08:09.000 Right.

02:08:12.000 Well, the issue is, she's 31, she's the closest to me in age, I'm 21, and the issue is that she's got this PCOS condition where the odds of her having kids, it's like some kind of reproductive issue, and the odds of her having kids are like 1-2%.

02:08:32.000 Like, she's not able to really have kids. 0.99

02:08:34.000 That's why she's a shit chest? 1.00

02:08:36.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:08:37.000 And so like that, so her whole outlook on life is completely changed.

02:08:42.000 And it's just so like, she's a victim in every single situation.

02:08:47.000 Like there's certain things I talked to other managers about, and she's just like, why are you not telling me?

02:08:52.000 Why am I not included?

02:08:53.000 I'm like, because it doesn't involve you.

02:08:55.000 And I, I like, I'm trying to be nice.

02:08:58.000 I've dealt with this for weeks and I'm like, I'm trying to, like, try to frame her, like steal some important documents from your boss and put them in her port or like her desk and be like, Oh my, I found these.

02:09:09.000 I mean, there's so much I like not to go into detail, but there's so much shit that's happened with this company cause it's blue collar and people, you know, other guys try to come in, you know, other administrations try to come in and they try to just money grab off of it and they're 0.51

02:09:23.000 We're good to go. 0.92

02:09:38.000 She's a little longer than 15 minutes, right? 0.94

02:09:40.000 I don't know.

02:09:42.000 I don't know what, I mean, like genuinely, I don't know what to do with her because it's like, she got me the job and I'm making good money.

02:09:49.000 Like I'm young, I'm making good money.

02:09:51.000 I'm making a career for myself.

02:09:52.000 What if you tell her something, what if you tell her something off putting, like just make something up that would make her not want to talk to you.

02:09:58.000 Nothing that she could have you lose your job.

02:10:01.000 Just be like, Oh man, you know, like when you get diarrhea for like a week, 1.00

02:10:06.000 No, but she would like that kind of shit. 1.00

02:10:08.000 What if you pretend you have contagious something? 1.00

02:10:13.000 Well, no, because she's got the fluoride stare. 0.99

02:10:15.000 She's all boosted up.

02:10:16.000 She literally has myocarditis.

02:10:18.000 She's gone to the hospital four times.

02:10:20.000 Oh my. 1.00

02:10:20.000 Yeah, no, she's completely bought into this bullshit. 1.00

02:10:27.000 She checks all the boxes for somebody you do not want to work with. 0.99

02:10:31.000 But she got me the job.

02:10:32.000 So I'm just like, I don't, and I got promoted before she did.

02:10:35.000 I've, I've been there since June of last year.

02:10:37.000 And it's just like, I don't, I like, I'm, I'm trying to be polite.

02:10:41.000 I'm trying to not be a shitty human being, but at the same time, it's like, don't come to me with all your problems.

02:10:47.000 Don't come to me being a victim in every single situation. 0.98

02:10:50.000 Cause you're not.

02:10:51.000 Maybe, maybe, maybe tell her that maybe, uh, you know, I like a lot of, uh,

02:10:58.000 There's this sort of like front facing attitude that women have towards each other that kind of avoids getting to the root of the problems. 1.00

02:11:08.000 But maybe just be honest and just be like, take her out for drinks and be like, listen, I'm just, and disguise it as like you want to help her.

02:11:14.000 Be like, listen, I don't think it's good for your psyche to complain that I read an article and it's not good for you to complain.

02:11:20.000 I heard that it could undo vaccines actually.

02:11:24.000 I read in the New York Times that, like, complaining is actually not good for you.

02:11:28.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:11:29.000 Or just, like, if she's into horoscopes, pretend you read her horoscope every day.

02:11:33.000 Be like, I get them from, I remember as yours, it's that today, you know, complaining is gonna be not good. 1.00

02:11:40.000 And she'll be like, oh shit. 1.00

02:11:41.000 Right. 1.00

02:11:42.000 And just keep saying that.

02:11:42.000 And then she'll be like, this is weird.

02:11:44.000 Yeah, she shouldn't even buy into that shit. 1.00

02:11:45.000 Like, she's just so weird about shit. 1.00

02:11:47.000 But I won't take up much of your time. 0.99

02:11:49.000 But I hope your wife and Daphne are doing well.

02:11:51.000 Thank you.

02:11:54.000 I appreciate it.

02:11:55.000 Well, thank you and good luck.

02:11:57.000 Thanks for calling.

02:11:58.000 No problem.

02:11:58.000 Thank you, Ryan.

02:12:00.000 All right, we got one more.

02:12:01.000 No, we got two more calls.

02:12:03.000 You guys have been waiting for, you've been waiting for like 35 minutes.

02:12:06.000 818.

02:12:06.000 Hey, what's up?

02:12:09.000 What's going on, man?

02:12:10.000 Is Matty still there?

02:12:12.000 He is.

02:12:12.000 Is Matty still there?

02:12:13.000 He is.

02:12:14.000 I want to ask Matty a question.

02:12:17.000 Matty, he's coming.

02:12:24.000 Out of context, that was funny. 1.00

02:12:25.000 Bend over and douche the guy's ass. 1.00

02:12:29.000 Hey, what's up? 0.99

02:12:31.000 So, hey, I, you know, you come across as like this biker guy, you know, I would think you listen to like rock music and stuff, but you have so much knowledge about old school hip-hop.

02:12:45.000 Oh, I love the 90s hip-hop.

02:12:48.000 Like, in the late 80s, early 90s, yeah, that's my jam.

02:12:52.000 Yeah, I was like, one day you were talking about Brand Newbie and you knew all their names.

02:12:56.000 Oh yeah.

02:12:57.000 I grew up like two blocks from them.

02:13:00.000 Really?

02:13:01.000 Yeah, I grew up around the show.

02:13:02.000 That's where they're from.

02:13:02.000 Oh, that's crazy.

02:13:05.000 Yeah, the one that got me is you did a... You made a third base reference. 0.98

02:13:10.000 You said, but my balls itch. 0.79

02:13:12.000 And I was like... Search a piece nice? 0.99

02:13:16.000 I said search a piece nice.

02:13:19.000 Oh yeah, that's crazy.

02:13:21.000 MC Search?

02:13:22.000 MC Search and Pete Nice.

02:13:24.000 That's third base. 0.99

02:13:25.000 Yeah, he's the biggest wigger of all time. 1.00

02:13:28.000 MC Search is so corny. 0.99

02:13:30.000 Remember that talk show he had?

02:13:32.000 Yo, he's a smart businessman.

02:13:33.000 I know he is, yeah.

02:13:34.000 He's a ridiculously smart businessman.

02:13:36.000 He's got the nose of a very smart businessman.

02:13:40.000 Yeah, that's great, bro.

02:13:41.000 Yeah, like mid-80s.

02:13:44.000 To like, early 90s?

02:13:45.000 Hip-hop?

02:13:46.000 That's my jam.

02:13:47.000 That is my jam.

02:13:48.000 I actually... I work with those guys now.

02:13:51.000 With all the old school guys. 0.98

02:13:52.000 Nice.

02:13:53.000 I do music with them for TV and film.

02:13:55.000 Oh, that's beautiful.

02:13:57.000 Yeah, I just thought it was funny that you were like, you had such an in-depth underground hip-hop thing.

02:14:02.000 Oh yeah.

02:14:04.000 That's my jam.

02:14:05.000 Alright, you got it.

02:14:06.000 Take care.

02:14:06.000 Alright, see ya.

02:14:12.000 This is the last one.

02:14:17.000 Kansas City traffic, 9-1-3.

02:14:21.000 You're on the Wii!

02:14:24.000 Is this me?

02:14:25.000 It is.

02:14:28.000 Oh, cool.

02:14:29.000 Hey, hey.

02:14:29.000 Huge fan, guys.

02:14:30.000 I was just wondering if you guys were ever going to go to Kansas City?

02:14:34.000 If we're ever going to?

02:14:35.000 Oh, for like the tour?

02:14:36.000 The tour?

02:14:37.000 Yeah.

02:14:39.000 A lot of restaurants down here.

02:14:41.000 It's like Chicago.

02:14:43.000 Geez.

02:14:46.000 I'm a truck driver.

02:14:47.000 I listen to you guys all the time.

02:14:49.000 Huge fan.

02:14:51.000 Love your impressions, by the way, Ryan.

02:14:53.000 It's an honor to talk to you.

02:14:56.000 We're very much fans of the truckers, okay?

02:14:59.000 Frankly, fantastic guys keeping the world turning.

02:15:03.000 And frankly, nobody even knows how hard you work.

02:15:05.000 You work very hard and your butts are usually... What you have to do when you're driving for very long times is you have to kind of arch your back, get your butt off the seat and squeeze the cheeks to get some blood in there.

02:15:16.000 Otherwise you're going to get lesions and bed sores. 0.95

02:15:20.000 Trench butt. 0.60

02:15:21.000 They call it trench butt.

02:15:24.000 But no, that's awesome.

02:15:26.000 Yeah, so if I can, I will put that in Josh Denny's ear because we are looking for, and it's red, Kansas City, right?

02:15:32.000 Kansas City, Kansas?

02:15:34.000 Either one, man.

02:15:35.000 I'm going to show it today.

02:15:37.000 You guys were talking about it briefly, but yeah, it's confusing to me too because I'm on the Kansas side.

02:15:44.000 Kansas is kind of the same.

02:15:51.000 Oh weird.

02:15:51.000 We're all kind of the same, you know, around here.

02:15:55.000 Well, I'll bring that up to Josh because we are looking for like a secondary tour market, like not the, you know, not the same ones that we did last time.

02:16:03.000 So maybe I'll put that in his ear and hopefully we can come out there and see or be close enough that you can drive.

02:16:08.000 You're used to long drives.

02:16:09.000 You'll get, even if we're two states away, you'll make it out.

02:16:14.000 Wow.

02:16:15.000 Frankly, but we'll try to get close to you.

02:16:17.000 That's all we could do.

02:16:18.000 I mean, that's what we have to do.

02:16:23.000 All right, cool, man.

02:16:24.000 Good talking to you.

02:16:25.000 Good talking to you too, man.

02:16:26.000 Thanks for calling.

02:16:27.000 Thanks.

02:16:27.000 All right, this is the very last one asking Matty about a motorcycle.

02:16:38.000 814, you're on the lore.

02:16:41.000 Hey, how's it going, guys?

02:16:42.000 What's up?

02:16:44.000 Not much.

02:16:45.000 I had a quick question for Matty.

02:16:46.000 I'm looking to buy a new bike this spring, and I'm coming off of Honda.

02:16:52.000 An 85 Honda Shadow, actually.

02:16:54.000 I'm really liking the Rebel 1100s, but I've also test-driven a couple of Harleys, so I'm just asking his opinion on sticking with the soft-tail line.

02:17:05.000 I do a good bit of commuting to work, about a 45-minute ride to and from every day, and also my wife rides with me a lot, so it's got to be a soft-tail frame.

02:17:15.000 I don't think I need a Touring, but

02:17:17.000 I'm just looking for some ideas on what I can compare to the Honda Rebel 1100 and see what will be, you know, my options.

02:17:26.000 I mean, are you particularly stuck on going with Harley?

02:17:34.000 I'm not stuck on it.

02:17:35.000 The ones I've test driven, I really like.

02:17:38.000 Which ones have you test rode?

02:17:42.000 At the end of summer, I wrote a 2008 custom.

02:17:44.000 Okay.

02:17:46.000 My buddy actually builds, rebuilds Harleys, but he sticks to Sportzers.

02:17:51.000 At least on the older frames, but not really.

02:17:54.000 You'd be a little small, especially if you're riding your wife. 0.93

02:17:58.000 Yeah.

02:17:58.000 You would definitely want a big twin.

02:18:02.000 Right.

02:18:04.000 My favorite, which was what they call a Dyna Superglide Sport, which is kind of like

02:18:10.000 I don't think I'm...

02:18:31.000 I don't think I'm ready for that size of bike yet, because I've only put like 6,000 on my bike so far, so I'm still pretty new to it.

02:18:39.000 Okay.

02:18:40.000 I would definitely go with, if you're not looking to buy brand new, I would buy like anything over like an 06 or an 08 and above like Dyna.

02:18:51.000 Okay, alright.

02:18:52.000 And it could definitely step, because it's big enough to ride you and your wife, but it's not like a full-fledged touring bike, so.

02:19:00.000 And you said street glide?

02:19:02.000 The street glide, I mean, the street glide, the fairing moves with the forks, and then you have the road glide where the fairing stays stationary.

02:19:12.000 Okay, gotcha.

02:19:13.000 And the forks and everything move in between it, yeah.

02:19:15.000 That's called a street glide. 0.85

02:19:16.000 Now, do they still make that, or are you talking a used one in that regard, too?

02:19:21.000 No, I think they still make the street glide and the road glide.

02:19:26.000 Okay.

02:19:27.000 Alright, cool.

02:19:28.000 I know I only get one thing.

02:19:30.000 I'll call back next week.

02:19:31.000 No, no, no.

02:19:31.000 Go ahead, go ahead.

02:19:33.000 I just wanted to ask, how do you go about doing test drives at motorcycle dealerships?

02:19:38.000 Because that seems to be a thing.

02:19:39.000 I've Googled some and it looks like it doesn't really happen often, unless they have like a test bike.

02:19:44.000 Do you have a motorcycle license?

02:19:48.000 I still am on a permit, so I hope to get it here as soon as they start doing them.

02:19:52.000 You have to get your motorcycle license before they'll let you take one for a test drive, really.

02:19:57.000 Okay, but that's pretty much the only hurdle you gotta cross?

02:20:01.000 Yeah, you have to have a full-fledged motorcycle license, not just a permit.

02:20:05.000 And then you go in and they'll have road test vehicles to test ride.

02:20:11.000 Gotcha.

02:20:12.000 And they make you put on this big silly like high-vis vest and it's kind of crazy.

02:20:17.000 And usually they'll have someone, most of the times they'll have someone like someone from the dealership ride with you.

02:20:24.000 Okay.

02:20:24.000 Like next to you or follow or trail you.

02:20:27.000 Yeah, but yeah.

02:20:28.000 Cool.

02:20:29.000 All right.

02:20:29.000 Yep.

02:20:29.000 You got it, my brother.

02:20:30.000 Be safe.

02:20:31.000 Thanks, buddy.

02:20:32.000 Yep, you too.

02:20:36.000 Alright, thanks everybody for tuning in.

02:20:39.000 Oh, thank you very much.

02:20:41.000 And we'll play you out with a little song.

02:20:45.000 Just the first song I could come up with here.

02:20:49.000 Let me see.

02:20:52.000 okay all right we'll see you guys later and um you know thanks for tuning in and hope you enjoy oh yeah you can take those sure the rock out so they work i heard they work that they were a little bit there we go okay guys toodaloo thanks for tuning in

02:21:24.000 Look at those.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - January 27, 2023

GOML LIVE #180 - ZIGGY'S ASSHOLE

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