Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - February 03, 2023


GOML LIVE #181 - SHITTY COPS


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 13 minutes

Words per Minute

170.21861

Word Count

22,710

Sentence Count

2,461

Misogynist Sentences

129

Hate Speech Sentences

125


Summary

On this week's episode of the Cop Panel, the panel is back with guest Matty O'Dell. Matty is joined by John, Tim, and Neil as they discuss the recent shooting of a cop in the Bronx, and the aftermath of it. They also talk about the recent murder of a man who was shot and killed by a cop, and how it could have been prevented. Also, Matty talks about how to deal with a guy who has cancer and how to get over it. Matty also talks about a cop who was drunk and shot a cop with a gun and how he should have been able to do something about it. And of course, there's a new segment where Matty and Matty talk about what they would do if they were in charge of the New York City Police Department. Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes! Get off my lawn, New York! Get on my lawn. Get On My Lawn. Subscribe to my Podcast! Subscribe on iTunes and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! If you like what you're listening to, share it on your social media and tell a friend about what you think of it! I'll be sure to give you a rating and review it on Anchor.fm! Thanks for listening and spreading the word to your friends about this podcast! Cheers, Gavin, Tim & Matty - The Cop Panel xoxo, Megan, Gav & Tim, and Gav, P.S. - Get Off my Lawn with Gav and Gave Me a shout out on the show! . . . GAVYay! - Gav & Gav's podcast - Matty, Gave me a shoutout! Gav - Gave you a review? - PODCAST Thank you for listening to this episode, GAV & Gave him a chance to be heard on the podcast! - GAV and GAV is a review of this episode? Thanks GAVO'S Raskin, GRAVYA, GABY, GOULDY, and GRAFFY, JAMIE RASKIN, GODY, GOOG, GAY, GRIZZLE, GORDON, JAYE, AND MORE! - BABY! - RYAN RASSKIN, JEAN MCCARTO, DADDY, AND KELLY, DOGS, AND PENNY, AND SONGS, AND AYAN, AND YANKEES!


Transcript

00:00:15.000 New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
00:00:42.000 Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn Live.
00:00:44.000 That was Demon something 13.
00:00:46.000 What are they called?
00:00:49.000 Demon System 13.
00:00:50.000 Demon System 13, an old hardcore band from Sweden from the 90s that are back.
00:00:56.000 They're back and they old as hell!
00:00:59.000 30 years plus.
00:01:00.000 Yeah.
00:01:01.000 That's basically my entire life is 95 till now.
00:01:05.000 Before that, you know, you're basically a fag when you're 20.
00:01:08.000 Right?
00:01:09.000 We're all agreed on that?
00:01:11.000 Yep.
00:01:12.000 Yeah, I guess.
00:01:13.000 Yeah.
00:01:14.000 You're coming into yourself.
00:01:16.000 When you're 20, you will do whatever a girl tells you to do.
00:01:20.000 Including grow dreads.
00:01:22.000 You grew dreads?
00:01:23.000 I did have dreads at the age of 20, yeah.
00:01:25.000 That's very gay.
00:01:27.000 And learn French.
00:01:27.000 You'll do anything to get laid.
00:01:29.000 What?
00:01:29.000 You'll do anything to get laid when you're 20.
00:01:31.000 Anything.
00:01:34.000 Anything.
00:01:35.000 Absolutely.
00:01:36.000 Maybe even murder.
00:01:37.000 8 to 80, blind, crippled, or crazy.
00:01:41.000 Welcome back, The Cop Panel.
00:01:43.000 We've got Neil and Tim and John.
00:01:45.000 Didn't have Neil last week, but we had him before.
00:01:48.000 So, I'm worried about next week, though.
00:01:51.000 Why's that?
00:01:53.000 Because John and Tim are going to be waiting.
00:01:54.000 Neil, will you join us?
00:01:55.000 I should be able to be on scene.
00:01:58.000 Good.
00:01:58.000 Fingers crossed.
00:02:00.000 You know what I was thinking about, buddy?
00:02:01.000 What about Izzy?
00:02:02.000 We could talk to him.
00:02:04.000 He might do it.
00:02:06.000 Yeah, he was a cop in the Bronx.
00:02:08.000 Izzy?
00:02:09.000 Oh.
00:02:10.000 Oh, he was.
00:02:10.000 He's a black dude who was a cop in the Bronx, but he quit after his nephew got killed by cops.
00:02:17.000 And his nephew was a cop.
00:02:20.000 His nephew was also fucking wasted waving a gun around and they told him to put it down and he didn't listen and Is that the guy in on Webster Avenue at the?
00:02:32.000 No, not the strip club it was a we get those murder burgers at a three white castle Murder burgers.
00:02:39.000 Yeah, or belly bombers What maybe I went this would probably be like 10 years ago, but I'll find out oh
00:02:48.000 He's a good guy.
00:02:49.000 Yeah, don't wave guns at cops.
00:02:51.000 That's always been my number one rule.
00:02:52.000 No, I think there was a guy down there intoxicated, drinking some beers, hanging out.
00:02:57.000 Black guy.
00:02:57.000 Cop.
00:02:58.000 I thought he was Spanish.
00:03:00.000 Yeah, I think he's Afro...
00:03:04.000 And I know the cop that shot him, a guy named Freddy Torres, a real nice guy.
00:03:09.000 And it really shook him up a lot.
00:03:10.000 That was in the 4-6 Precinct, right by the Webster and the Cross Bronx.
00:03:13.000 I remember that now.
00:03:15.000 That sounds like the right story.
00:03:16.000 Yeah, who made me talk about the same person?
00:03:17.000 Because Izzy tried to get his brother to talk to that dude, the cop who shot him, and he's like, I don't want to fucking talk to that guy.
00:03:26.000 Yeah, Freddy was real shook up about that.
00:03:28.000 He was a great cop.
00:03:30.000 He still is.
00:03:31.000 Oh, he still is.
00:03:32.000 He's retired now, so.
00:03:34.000 He's not retarded.
00:03:35.000 He's a fucking genius.
00:03:36.000 You're retarded.
00:03:37.000 Fuck you.
00:03:41.000 So welcome back to the panel and welcome back our co-host, Matty O'Dell.
00:03:44.000 Hold on, everybody.
00:03:44.000 Good to see you.
00:03:45.000 Good to be seen.
00:03:46.000 And I've never done this before, but how do you not welcome back Ryan Rivera over here?
00:03:51.000 Detective Shitty.
00:03:52.000 I appreciate it.
00:03:53.000 Sorry you're back.
00:03:55.000 I wish you weren't back.
00:03:56.000 I don't know how to undo that.
00:03:58.000 Do we pay him to go away?
00:03:59.000 And if you want to know why, it might be because you have the hair of a fucking sheepdog in a cartoon.
00:04:08.000 I guess the term is cartoon sheepdog.
00:04:09.000 Yeah.
00:04:10.000 Judge me not by my hair, but my style.
00:04:14.000 Of course you judge someone by their hair.
00:04:16.000 If there's one thing you're in control of, it's your fucking hair.
00:04:19.000 Not if you're going bald.
00:04:21.000 That's true.
00:04:22.000 True.
00:04:22.000 That's true.
00:04:23.000 But you have ways to deal with that.
00:04:25.000 That's a good point.
00:04:26.000 Rogaine, baby.
00:04:27.000 I would know.
00:04:28.000 Like what's his name?
00:04:29.000 Jamie Siskin?
00:04:31.000 Is that his name?
00:04:32.000 Jamie Raskin?
00:04:33.000 Raskin.
00:04:33.000 We always made fun of him.
00:04:34.000 He has the ugliest hair in the history of politics and now God gave him cancer just out of pure being annoyed.
00:04:44.000 Does he really have cancer?
00:04:45.000 Yeah.
00:04:46.000 Oh man, poor guy.
00:04:47.000 Hey, don't shoot the message.
00:04:49.000 He must have done something bad.
00:04:51.000 Yeah, God gave him cancer because of his fucking hair.
00:04:53.000 So now he's a hat guy?
00:04:54.000 So now he wears a fortune teller hat.
00:04:57.000 Holy shit.
00:04:58.000 Like what are you doing?
00:04:59.000 Just embrace it.
00:05:00.000 Just shave your head.
00:05:02.000 Why are you wearing a little pirate hat?
00:05:05.000 Call me now.
00:05:06.000 Is he Miss Cleo now?
00:05:07.000 He's doing your fortunes?
00:05:08.000 Miss Cleo.
00:05:10.000 Don't put him next to Little Steve.
00:05:13.000 At least that fits.
00:05:14.000 Like Jamie Raskin's fucking thing, it just looks like a Russian woman doing some housework.
00:05:20.000 Even that hat looks like a... It's a babushka.
00:05:24.000 He's an absolute retard.
00:05:26.000 He was big.
00:05:27.000 Look at his fucking hair.
00:05:29.000 Well, rest in peace hair.
00:05:32.000 I mean, how many messages did God have to send?
00:05:35.000 His son killed himself.
00:05:36.000 He's got cancer.
00:05:38.000 We can't make this clear.
00:05:40.000 Okay, I didn't like that joke.
00:05:41.000 Yeah, that's making me like him.
00:05:42.000 You know, I've started to turn around on, uh, what's a big old retard guy?
00:05:46.000 Fetterman.
00:05:48.000 John's right here, Ryan.
00:05:51.000 Fetterman.
00:05:52.000 I just feel bad.
00:05:53.000 Like, every time I see him, I'm like, I think he's a nice guy way over his head.
00:05:56.000 Eagles!
00:05:57.000 He doesn't seem evil.
00:05:57.000 The Eagles are much better than the Eagles!
00:06:01.000 Did anybody see, it was just after the football games over the weekend.
00:06:06.000 And he was trying to make a statement regarding football teams?
00:06:10.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:06:11.000 Don't you watch the show?
00:06:14.000 Yeah, I think I believe I sent that to you.
00:06:16.000 Yes.
00:06:18.000 He goes, you know, in high school when you're on the football team and it's like a camp when you're on the team and you're playing football.
00:06:30.000 And nobody wants to be here!
00:06:32.000 And then he ends it.
00:06:33.000 He doesn't end anything.
00:06:34.000 It just goes crazy.
00:06:36.000 And you can see people in the background going, I fucking voted for an extra from the Adams family.
00:06:42.000 Capacity to handle talking at a football game.
00:06:46.000 Dude, he makes Joe Biden look like Joe's got it going on.
00:06:50.000 Oh, he's in a lot of hot water.
00:06:51.000 They're saying today.
00:06:51.000 Fetterman's got a TBI.
00:06:53.000 He definitely suffered some brain injury.
00:06:55.000 He had a stroke.
00:06:56.000 Yeah, absolutely.
00:06:58.000 Yeah.
00:06:59.000 If, I say this about Biden and him, if they were at my local bar and I was talking to them, I would feel like an awesome person.
00:07:08.000 Like I'm a good guy.
00:07:09.000 They might be good more than Hank Johnson.
00:07:10.000 Yeah.
00:07:11.000 And other people would be like, what's Gavin doing?
00:07:12.000 I'd be like, uh, I'm doing the shit that you don't do.
00:07:15.000 Cause I care about our fellow man.
00:07:17.000 And I'm a good person.
00:07:18.000 You go have fun with your friends, having interesting conversations.
00:07:22.000 I'm going to be over here with the handicapped, helping them to learn.
00:07:26.000 That's right.
00:07:27.000 Like remember that dude John who would come in to our bar and he had a stroke and he'd always have spit coming out of his face and his whole, his shirt would be drenched.
00:07:37.000 He would try to drink a beer and it would just be all over him.
00:07:40.000 Terrible.
00:07:41.000 He was a smart dude.
00:07:42.000 Yeah, but you're not the same person.
00:07:45.000 Unfortunately.
00:07:46.000 I mean not to make fun of him, he would literally, he would try to, he would grab like his mug of beer and
00:07:51.000 The beer would be empty.
00:07:53.000 It would be gone.
00:07:53.000 Before you got a sip of it.
00:07:54.000 You'd be like, what are you doing?
00:07:56.000 But then you'd put on the pictures.
00:07:57.000 Get a shoe off of him.
00:07:58.000 On the jukebox, and you'd go, yeah they... It's sad.
00:08:02.000 They broke apart because of the heroin.
00:08:04.000 You know, the Kim Deal and the girls, what, the Breeders, they just did so much smack, they ruined the band.
00:08:10.000 That's why the final tour, they had different green rooms.
00:08:14.000 And you're like, wow, you know about indie rock, and you're a retard.
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00:08:23.000 PurpleWorksNutrition.com.
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00:08:40.000 This is what you do.
00:08:41.000 You feel yourself getting sick.
00:08:42.000 You know, you're constantly cold.
00:08:44.000 You're wearing a sweater and shit.
00:08:46.000 You drink tons of coffee in the morning and pre-workout.
00:08:50.000 You go work out.
00:08:51.000 You're shaking.
00:08:52.000 You're like fucking Mr. Burns.
00:08:54.000 You're not doing anything, but you're there.
00:08:57.000 Then at lunch and breakfast, you have so many jalapenos that you're crying at lunch.
00:09:04.000 Like it hurts your face, you're coughing, you're wheezing, because you're murdering your mouth.
00:09:10.000 Then when you go home that night, you drink basic, not bourbon until you're like puking, but you drink bourbon until you're tired at eight.
00:09:17.000 And then you pass out and sleep it off.
00:09:21.000 Done, not sick anymore.
00:09:25.000 That works.
00:09:25.000 The physics of it is, the pre-workout is like taking speed.
00:09:29.000 You fast forward your illness.
00:09:32.000 And then the bourbon and the jalapenos, they like bleach the inside of your body.
00:09:38.000 And no bacteria can survive.
00:09:40.000 I've invented a new kind of medicine.
00:09:43.000 Meth?
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00:10:30.000 I'm not, I don't know what an EMPT is.
00:10:33.000 That's a EMT.
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00:11:30.000 Can they send us some?
00:11:31.000 I want to try this.
00:11:32.000 Me too.
00:11:33.000 You know what I've noticed about pre-workout and a coffee?
00:11:36.000 And you get fucking paranoid.
00:11:39.000 Like, I was driving, I think, to White Plains or something, and I thought everyone was out to get me, and then there's some Jew in a Yamica smoking in his car, and I'm like, is he trying to, like, drive next to me?
00:11:51.000 And then when we get stopped at a light, he spits out his window.
00:11:55.000 And I'm like, is that a gesture?
00:11:57.000 Do you think I'm a Nazi?
00:11:59.000 What?
00:12:00.000 And they're like, no, I was just overly caffeinated.
00:12:03.000 Yeah, I just listened to a Shane Gillis story where he drank like nine cups of coffee that day and then he wanted, he was like suicidal essentially.
00:12:13.000 He was like, I suck at comedy, I hate comedy, I don't want to.
00:12:16.000 Makes you overthink.
00:12:17.000 I didn't think that that could happen and then I'm starting to look back at my life and when I've had one too many cups of coffee.
00:12:22.000 Well, I went home to have sex with my wife the other day, and she was in the shower after hot yoga, which is like... Ladies, I don't know how to break this to you.
00:12:33.000 Yoga is just stretching.
00:12:35.000 Hot yoga is just stretching and sweating.
00:12:37.000 You're not exercising.
00:12:38.000 Let me tell you something.
00:12:39.000 I don't know about that.
00:12:40.000 I took a yoga class in prison, and it's probably the most terrible, horrible... There was a room full of guys, and the yoga instructor comes from outside to do it.
00:12:50.000 It's called a sausage party.
00:12:51.000 It was as if we were in 150 degrees and ran an hour.
00:12:54.000 Yeah, it should be- You're fighting like pigs!
00:12:57.000 I like that as a taxpayer, I like that you guys are being punished.
00:13:00.000 But I don't think it does- I think they should do it to shoplifters too.
00:13:03.000 Don't have a trial or anything, just make them do yoga.
00:13:06.000 Torture them with yoga in the store.
00:13:09.000 And then let them go.
00:13:10.000 But it's not a real thing, ladies.
00:13:11.000 I don't know, Sting does yoga.
00:13:13.000 I remember seeing an interview with him and he fucking ripped.
00:13:17.000 Who does?
00:13:18.000 The singer.
00:13:18.000 Sting.
00:13:20.000 Sting and the police.
00:13:21.000 Is that what we're going for?
00:13:22.000 That's our ideal?
00:13:23.000 Sting?
00:13:24.000 I'm just, that's one, you know, I don't know.
00:13:26.000 Wait a minute, do you like Sting?
00:13:28.000 He's police, of course you do.
00:13:31.000 No pun intended, that's why I like him.
00:13:32.000 No offense, but fuck the police.
00:13:34.000 I hate Sting.
00:13:37.000 The band?
00:13:38.000 Fuck the police's boss, aka Sting.
00:13:40.000 No, but don't you feel like when you're, it's like talk radio and it's commercial so you go to the oldies and there's certain fucking things.
00:13:48.000 Like Midnight Oil.
00:13:50.000 How come we sleep when our beds are burning?
00:13:53.000 What do you want me to do?
00:13:54.000 Give Australia back to the fucking Abos?
00:13:56.000 It would be burnt to the ground overnight so I'm not listening to that song.
00:14:00.000 And then Sting, The Police.
00:14:03.000 Fucking Raxxon!
00:14:05.000 Fuck that.
00:14:06.000 The doors, the eagles.
00:14:11.000 Anything else is cool.
00:14:13.000 Just the doors, the eagles?
00:14:16.000 Midnight oil?
00:14:17.000 Yeah.
00:14:19.000 Led Zeppelin?
00:14:20.000 I don't know.
00:14:21.000 There is no expiration date on Led Zeppelin.
00:14:24.000 You could hear Joy and What Fool in the Rain.
00:14:26.000 They do have a couple hits.
00:14:28.000 Right now.
00:14:29.000 They do not age.
00:14:31.000 Jimi Hendrix, can't get bored of it.
00:14:33.000 I think Jimmy Page had an expiration date.
00:14:35.000 I think it was 15 years old.
00:14:37.000 What about that guy, Nopiup?
00:14:39.000 Who?
00:14:39.000 Nopiup?
00:14:40.000 Oh yeah.
00:14:40.000 He's another classic.
00:14:42.000 It's true.
00:14:43.000 Who?
00:14:43.000 Nopiup.
00:14:44.000 Nopiup.
00:14:45.000 Oh yes.
00:14:49.000 And Bob Marley though, I remember someone was playing like, no woman!
00:14:54.000 My buddy Matt leans over and he goes, you know what?
00:14:56.000 I'm good for this lifetime with Bob Marley.
00:14:58.000 We got it.
00:14:58.000 We're done.
00:15:00.000 We're topped to the brim with Bob.
00:15:04.000 All right, let's get, so you know how this goes.
00:15:06.000 We take calls, we read letters, we got the super chat up on the wall.
00:15:11.000 It's free!
00:15:13.000 We try to get behind the paywall.
00:15:15.000 Our goal is in the first half hour.
00:15:17.000 It usually doesn't happen till two hours.
00:15:19.000 This show is meant to advertise Get Off My Lawn, which makes no sense because Get Off My Lawn is nothing like this show.
00:15:26.000 There's nothing like this show on the network.
00:15:27.000 You'll never hear this again.
00:15:28.000 I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
00:15:31.000 How come Ryan knows 10 times of what Gavin knows about rock and roll and is 20 years younger?
00:15:38.000 Well, that's a great point if you have shitty taste in music.
00:15:41.000 He knows a lot about Yngwie Malmsteen and Steve Vai and Tool.
00:15:47.000 Yngwie.
00:15:48.000 And... I think it's Yngwie.
00:15:50.000 I don't like Tool.
00:15:51.000 Whoa!
00:15:52.000 Matty does.
00:15:54.000 Tool?
00:15:54.000 I love Tool.
00:15:55.000 Yep.
00:15:55.000 Yeah.
00:15:56.000 Tool, Perfect Circle.
00:15:56.000 I don't approve.
00:15:57.000 The Fabric or the band?
00:16:01.000 Gavin, come to Kansas City you buttfucker.
00:16:05.000 I'm a truck driver and regarding Kansas, my home state, it's the same all over basically in America.
00:16:11.000 It's good rural people and shitty city people.
00:16:14.000 I think I took that guy's call.
00:16:15.000 I don't understand Kansas City.
00:16:17.000 There's two right next to each other.
00:16:18.000 Across the river.
00:16:19.000 Whose idea was that?
00:16:20.000 Probably Frank Kansas.
00:16:25.000 Kansas City, Missouri and Kansas City, Kansas.
00:16:27.000 If my wife dies, I will go through a period of mourning.
00:16:28.000 About a week.
00:16:29.000 What's the shortest period of mourning you could possibly do?
00:16:31.000 I would say a month.
00:16:31.000 About a week.
00:16:32.000 That's the shortest?
00:16:32.000 A month?
00:16:33.000 Here's the thing, too.
00:16:48.000 There's a period of mourning of like a year of being the strong silent type.
00:16:52.000 If you ugly cry hysterically every day all day... You're right, yeah.
00:16:57.000 You can get a year out in like... 72 hours?
00:17:00.000 A fortnight.
00:17:01.000 That's true.
00:17:03.000 Two weeks of... And then your kids and everyone around you is like, try to find some kind of a girlfriend.
00:17:09.000 You're hysterical.
00:17:09.000 I don't know.
00:17:10.000 You're like, okay, maybe I'll try that fucking porn star who just got out of jail.
00:17:17.000 Maybe.
00:17:20.000 What else is up there?
00:17:21.000 That was it.
00:17:21.000 The Super Chats?
00:17:22.000 The next one was the last one we had read last week.
00:17:25.000 So that's how you do that, guys.
00:17:26.000 We don't walk you through it.
00:17:28.000 That's a shame on me.
00:17:29.000 So what you would do is you go to the site on desktop and you look for this banner here live.
00:17:35.000 We can clip live stream right there on the top left.
00:17:38.000 So when you do that, you'll see our beautiful mugs and you scroll down and there's a button here.
00:17:44.000 I don't know.
00:17:44.000 Fuck it.
00:17:45.000 Figure it out.
00:17:46.000 I kind of lost energy.
00:17:47.000 Yeah, I'm over it.
00:17:49.000 You got too cool for that explanation.
00:17:51.000 I don't even care if they do.
00:17:53.000 Now, our new development here, we got rid of the weird doctor from Futurama and now we have cops on one panel and a criminal on the other panel.
00:18:05.000 Guys, I think this is an opportunity for you to look over at this criminal as sort of the personification of all the perps you ever apprehended and just sort of say, I'm sorry.
00:18:17.000 I'm sorry for what I've done.
00:18:22.000 Me?
00:18:23.000 No, they could apologize to you.
00:18:24.000 I'm sorry I didn't catch you sooner.
00:18:26.000 That would have been a good one back in the day.
00:18:31.000 And Matty, I think you can explain to these guys, why wouldn't you put your fucking hands behind your back?
00:18:38.000 Put your hands behind your back.
00:18:40.000 Every video I see, they have one hand and they won't give them the other fucking hand.
00:18:48.000 I've been in that situation.
00:18:50.000 Did you put your hands behind your back?
00:18:52.000 Not willingly.
00:18:55.000 No sir.
00:18:56.000 What is it?
00:18:57.000 I don't know why though.
00:18:59.000 Yeah we talked about it a lot the couple weeks ago.
00:19:02.000 The inevitable doom.
00:19:03.000 One time my brother, my brother was a cop, my older brother, so I get arrested in the town he's working in.
00:19:09.000 So, in my jacket, you know, it says, you know, I'm combative towards cops, and so they put me, they put me in a side case.
00:19:16.000 It's not like a cell, it's plastic cells.
00:19:19.000 So if I don't, I can't throw anything at them or anything like that, because I'm known to assault officers.
00:19:22.000 So, they made a mistake.
00:19:24.000 You're only supposed to get one t-shirt when you're in the home.
00:19:27.000 So I had on a long john shirt and a white t-shirt over it, so they missed it.
00:19:30.000 So these two cops come up and they're like, Matty, you gotta give us one of the shirts.
00:19:33.000 I'm like, fuck you guys, ain't happening.
00:19:36.000 Ain't fuckin' happenin'.
00:19:37.000 But on the side of the police, I say, why?
00:19:39.000 Like, what are you gaining from that?
00:19:41.000 So they can say I'm using a weapon I can fashion to hang myself or anything like that.
00:19:44.000 Right, so give them the shirt.
00:19:45.000 Fuck that.
00:19:46.000 But they're gonna take it.
00:19:47.000 Why are you saying fuck that?
00:19:48.000 No, it's better!
00:19:51.000 So I'm like, fuck you.
00:19:52.000 I'm not giving it up.
00:19:53.000 You guys didn't do your fucking job.
00:19:55.000 You deal with it.
00:19:56.000 So then of course, you know, they have to come and get it.
00:19:58.000 Too bad you didn't hang yourself.
00:20:00.000 They cracked the door.
00:20:01.000 So they found the electric door.
00:20:03.000 So I just put my back against the wall.
00:20:05.000 And one guy walks on this side of me.
00:20:07.000 And one guy grabs this side of me.
00:20:09.000 So I know it's coming.
00:20:10.000 Because I stiffen up.
00:20:12.000 I take my aggressive posture.
00:20:14.000 And they grab me on this side.
00:20:15.000 So this guy goes for his pepper spray.
00:20:16.000 So I just duck and he pepper sprays his partner.
00:20:19.000 Now all three of us are fighting innocents.
00:20:20.000 I eventually beat the shit out of him, he stripped me naked.
00:20:23.000 So now, in the morning... Yeah, that's what we're screaming!
00:20:26.000 So now in the morning... We're like, why take that route?
00:20:28.000 My brother... Who would want to see you naked to begin with?
00:20:31.000 My brother gets on the ship, comes to the cell, and he's like... He goes, what the fuck is wrong with you?
00:20:38.000 Yes!
00:20:38.000 I said, just do me a favor, give me a Gatorade, I'll be happy.
00:20:41.000 So he goes, well the fucking girl doesn't want to process you, do your fingerprints.
00:20:45.000 She's scared of you.
00:20:46.000 I was like, alright, I won't do anything, I promise.
00:20:49.000 So you're lying there nude, drenched in orange pepper spray, with a Gatorade in your hand.
00:20:54.000 So I ended up being butt naked, pepper sprayed.
00:20:57.000 It was a nightmare.
00:20:59.000 But I was a retard.
00:21:01.000 Ah, okay.
00:21:01.000 That's the answer.
00:21:02.000 I did get a cold Gatorade, though.
00:21:04.000 So the reason you lost your lesson is because you're a retard.
00:21:07.000 Is it a respect thing, though?
00:21:09.000 Like, if you had respect for one of those guys, if you had a rapport with one of them, you would have been okay with it?
00:21:14.000 Yeah.
00:21:14.000 That's what I always found.
00:21:15.000 If you had some sort of rapport.
00:21:17.000 I work with anybody.
00:21:20.000 There was people that despised me for who my brother was, and people who, like, I grew up in the town.
00:21:26.000 I'm like, why become a cop when you grew up?
00:21:29.000 No, I agree with you.
00:21:30.000 If you treat them up like shit, they're gonna treat you back like shit.
00:21:35.000 If you treat them like a man, they'll, you know... If you come to me the wrong way, it's gonna go south fast.
00:21:40.000 Yeah.
00:21:41.000 Yeah.
00:21:43.000 We called those guys the LMV's, Lunch Money Victims.
00:21:47.000 The guys that went on the job just to have a little bit of power.
00:21:50.000 They got beat up in high school.
00:21:54.000 We have a friend in common and he would empower my bike all the time.
00:21:59.000 He would do all sorts of shit.
00:22:01.000 Never once did I ever come at him.
00:22:02.000 Because he was always like, hey Matty.
00:22:04.000 And I was like, what do you want now?
00:22:06.000 And now what do you want?
00:22:07.000 Because he never got me with anything.
00:22:10.000 Ticket, speeding ticket.
00:22:11.000 But you say, why become a cop in your hometown?
00:22:14.000 I don't know.
00:22:14.000 You went to jail for 10 years.
00:22:16.000 You know too many people.
00:22:17.000 He's got a pension, and he's doing great.
00:22:19.000 Well, yeah.
00:22:20.000 Well, he's smart.
00:22:21.000 I'm not.
00:22:21.000 Different path.
00:22:26.000 Do the baby monsters know that Matty comes from a family of cops?
00:22:31.000 Yeah, I've said it.
00:22:32.000 Yeah, like a lot of cops.
00:22:34.000 Like federal law enforcement, regular law enforcement.
00:22:36.000 You're the only one who didn't become either military or paid.
00:22:40.000 Yeah.
00:22:42.000 It's what it is.
00:22:44.000 Your family's got a black sheep.
00:22:46.000 Tim, you look like you've recently discovered this.
00:22:49.000 Like you did some Googling.
00:22:50.000 I don't know if you want his brother.
00:22:52.000 I'm very impressed by his younger brother.
00:22:54.000 Yeah, we'll leave that one.
00:22:55.000 Yeah.
00:22:56.000 His younger brother's pretty hot at cheating.
00:22:58.000 That must be great when you're leaving your shift.
00:23:00.000 What happened on the shift?
00:23:00.000 Oh, by the way, I beat the cock out of your brother.
00:23:03.000 He's laying there.
00:23:05.000 Go get him a Gatorade.
00:23:06.000 He'll be better.
00:23:07.000 That might have been having to do with all the alcohol I drank prior to that.
00:23:12.000 Is there a thing with cops where there's a hierarchy?
00:23:15.000 Like say a guy who was in the South Bronx his whole career like during Dinkins years meets a guy who was in like Westchester his whole career
00:23:24.000 Is there like a strange sort of a pecking order where it's like... Yeah, the guy that was in the South Bronx is jealous of the guy that was in Westchester.
00:23:31.000 There's attitudes, yeah.
00:23:32.000 But yeah, you know, that's a good segue into, you know, you talk a lot about these shitty cops that you see standing on a street corner, maybe a fucking Puerto Rican chick that's wider than she is tall.
00:23:45.000 Right.
00:23:46.000 I think with the NYPD, John can probably
00:23:49.000 I agree with this.
00:23:51.000 A lot of the pride and your hard chargers and your really squared away dudes are in like the specialized units, right?
00:23:59.000 Yeah.
00:23:59.000 Street crime, the snooze units, the anti-crime units.
00:24:03.000 But you want to know something?
00:24:04.000 You got to do what you love and love what you do.
00:24:07.000 I don't think I'd want to work with like Barney Fite up in certain towns up in Westchester.
00:24:11.000 Like Yonkers or something like that, a big town with some action.
00:24:15.000 But if you're sitting there doing nothing all day, basically what they're doing is DWIs.
00:24:19.000 Yeah.
00:24:20.000 That's what they're doing.
00:24:20.000 They're not answering anything.
00:24:21.000 Saving lives, John.
00:24:23.000 Okay.
00:24:24.000 As long as they're not out tonight.
00:24:26.000 Because I've got to drive upstate.
00:24:29.000 What percentage of cops are shitheads?
00:24:34.000 It's like you said earlier, you get these guys, they went to high school, they never got the... Yeah, I think we'll lose this.
00:24:42.000 When I say shitheads, I mean these guys that bust someone for a joint and then rough them up.
00:24:47.000 To me, it's 5%.
00:24:48.000 Yeah.
00:24:49.000 Max.
00:24:50.000 5% you said?
00:24:51.000 Yeah.
00:24:51.000 I would agree with that.
00:24:52.000 And then there's another segment that are just do-nothings.
00:24:56.000 Right.
00:24:56.000 And slugs and are just in it for money and don't care.
00:25:00.000 And then there's the cowboys who want to go out on the fucking rock.
00:25:04.000 That's right.
00:25:05.000 I mean that's why a lot of the guys back in the day came on the job is to do that.
00:25:09.000 They want to make a difference.
00:25:10.000 Yeah.
00:25:12.000 It's just fun too.
00:25:13.000 I mean, you know, you want to get out there and kick some ass.
00:25:18.000 Kick ass and take names.
00:25:19.000 It was a challenge.
00:25:20.000 We used to, you know, when we came on shift, we'd go out.
00:25:22.000 It's competitive.
00:25:23.000 You know, we'd hit the road and see who could come in with the most product.
00:25:26.000 You know, we'd make kind of a competition out of it.
00:25:28.000 How dissatisfied were you guys with, like, the SOPs of actually being a cop and all the paperwork and all the back-end shit that... What does SOP mean?
00:25:37.000 Ridiculous.
00:25:39.000 What's SOP?
00:25:40.000 Standard Operations Procedures.
00:25:42.000 Oh, the paperwork.
00:25:43.000 Every department has SOPs.
00:25:44.000 Well, you gotta do, you know, you gotta fingerprint them, you gotta do online booking.
00:25:46.000 Everything's gotta be done, all the checks, boxes gotta be ticked off.
00:25:50.000 Then you gotta deal like assholes.
00:25:51.000 You gotta arraign them, you gotta get a judge to arraign them.
00:25:54.000 I mean, it's a little different in the city.
00:25:55.000 I mean, but pretty much going through central booking.
00:25:57.000 I would love to see what some of these officers' reports look like.
00:26:01.000 Before they give it to the person that re-writes it.
00:26:04.000 Well, we did all our court paperwork.
00:26:06.000 When I was a city cop, we didn't write our information.
00:26:09.000 We had to sit down at DA, we had to tell them our story, and they would write it up.
00:26:13.000 And then they'd bring it to arraignment when they either cut them loose or keep them.
00:26:20.000 As troopers, we would write our own information.
00:26:22.000 And you're right, they probably rewrote them before they went before a judge.
00:26:25.000 Some of these ones in the city?
00:26:26.000 You get good at it, though, after a while.
00:26:28.000 If you had city cops to write shit up, they couldn't write nothing.
00:26:31.000 Yeah, that's more the line I was leaning.
00:26:33.000 They'd have to get crayons.
00:26:34.000 Like that little short one that's wider than she is tall?
00:26:38.000 Seems like every police station now has these Puerto Rican chicks with these insane bowling ball asses who just fill out paperwork.
00:26:46.000 There's only one bowling ball.
00:26:47.000 They're all like five feet tall.
00:26:49.000 You know what?
00:26:49.000 Someone's made a point too.
00:26:52.000 You see them out in public.
00:26:53.000 You see them standing on a street corner.
00:26:54.000 Maybe it's a detail.
00:26:56.000 If you have to supply, if you're the CEO of a command and you've got to send a couple of your officers down to a detail that's going on, you're not going to send your best guys.
00:27:04.000 You're going to send your fucking slugs that don't do anything.
00:27:08.000 So you're not going to see your best guys at, you know, maybe working New Year's Eve.
00:27:12.000 Yeah, they sit around playing the statue.
00:27:16.000 We dealt with that when Al Sharpton, when they had riots.
00:27:19.000 One time we were out by JFK, we were out in Queens during the Howard Beach incident by the pizzeria where they chased that guy.
00:27:26.000 Yeah, chased him on the highway.
00:27:27.000 So what happened?
00:27:29.000 Crowd is coming down, and of course the captain, he pulls all the tall guys to the front.
00:27:33.000 That was what, 86, 87?
00:27:35.000 And as we go to the front, one thing is, if you have the barrier there, you don't want to stand in front of the barrier, you want to stand about a foot away.
00:27:43.000 Because if you put your feet there, they'll come by and they'll stomp on your feet.
00:27:48.000 And then your first reaction is to cock them.
00:27:51.000 But they pushed all the females in the rear, which was unfortunate.
00:27:54.000 That's how it was back then.
00:27:55.000 Well, that's our job.
00:27:56.000 We called it the Goon Squad.
00:27:58.000 The Goon Squad guys would be up front as kind of a show of force.
00:28:01.000 There should be no females in the rear or in the front or even there.
00:28:06.000 Why are they even there?
00:28:08.000 Like I said earlier, I worked with a lot of great female cops that were stand-up people.
00:28:13.000 Could they beat you up?
00:28:15.000 There's a few of them.
00:28:15.000 The one saved his life.
00:28:17.000 Could they put you on their shoulder and run?
00:28:21.000 I would, I mean to be honest.
00:28:22.000 She could shoot you.
00:28:23.000 I'd like to be on somebody's shoulders but facing the other way.
00:28:28.000 I would say if they're on the job, they should all, and same with the army, I was in the army, same experience, same opinion, they should have to perform the same standards physically that the guys do.
00:28:38.000 Have one standard, everybody performs the same standard.
00:28:40.000 Sounds logical to me.
00:28:42.000 You know what I mean?
00:28:42.000 And by the way, that logic applied to western civilization from the year Greek guys in fucking togas till like an hour ago.
00:28:52.000 And it's only recently we went, no, no, no, no.
00:28:54.000 Marines can be four foot tall black girls who can't even hold their own fucking body weight.
00:29:01.000 No wonder Putin wants to rock the world.
00:29:03.000 I would too if I was him.
00:29:05.000 Let's take advantage.
00:29:06.000 I was talking to a cop around the corner from here, and I think our cameras in the parking lot may have caught a murderer walking home.
00:29:13.000 And I said to him, why are you, like, why bother?
00:29:16.000 They don't give a shit about each other.
00:29:19.000 Like, it's not like they're going, I hope you catch that guy.
00:29:22.000 They're all murdering their ops.
00:29:22.000 They don't give a fuck.
00:29:24.000 And he goes, no, I don't give a shit about him.
00:29:26.000 I just, uh, I want to make sure I get him off the street because if he gets a revenge killing, then I have twice the paperwork.
00:29:33.000 So I'm trying to keep my paperwork down to half by getting this guy in jail and off the streets.
00:29:38.000 And I don't blame cops for having that attitude these days.
00:29:41.000 That's what we've demanded of them.
00:29:43.000 Don't work.
00:29:45.000 Suck shit.
00:29:46.000 Do nothing, help nobody.
00:29:49.000 Yeah.
00:29:49.000 Collect a paycheck.
00:29:50.000 If you're going to do that, then don't go on a job.
00:29:53.000 Go be a postal worker.
00:29:55.000 But there's no choice!
00:29:56.000 If you go out there and you're a cowboy, you get sued, there's a riot, you lose your pension.
00:30:02.000 Look at Derek Chauvin.
00:30:04.000 Chauvin.
00:30:06.000 25 years he's got?
00:30:07.000 Yeah, it's fucked up.
00:30:08.000 He just appealed his conviction, by the way.
00:30:10.000 Is that the guy from Ferguson?
00:30:11.000 Really?
00:30:12.000 Yeah, that's the George Floyd guy.
00:30:13.000 George Floyd.
00:30:14.000 I think he'll win that, too.
00:30:15.000 Yeah, you said that last time you were here.
00:30:17.000 Yeah, a lot of things get overturned when it's not in the headlines.
00:30:19.000 Right now, I see it happen.
00:30:20.000 The police world has flipped instead of being proactive, and it's all firehouse rules now.
00:30:25.000 It's like, they're not doing anything unless you call me, type thing.
00:30:28.000 There's not guys out there tossing cars like there used to be.
00:30:32.000 No, they're not allowed.
00:30:34.000 That don't preempted strikes basically used to go around tossing people trying to get guns off the street, but now you wait Somebody gets shot, and you know they're running away with the gun.
00:30:44.000 You're like oh Yeah, now when you find a gun you go fuck
00:30:53.000 What do I do now?
00:30:54.000 I gotta fill out some paperwork, get sued.
00:30:56.000 Let's look at some clips here.
00:30:58.000 Here's a woman who's ready to fight some cops over some extra cheese.
00:31:01.000 Good cheese?
00:31:04.000 What kind of cheese?
00:31:06.000 I'm gonna guess American cheese.
00:31:08.000 I don't want to sound unpatriotic.
00:31:10.000 I fucking hate American cheese.
00:31:12.000 I don't know why it exists.
00:31:12.000 It's not cheese.
00:31:13.000 We got them in the Bronx.
00:31:14.000 Plastic.
00:31:15.000 Growing up as a kid, we'd get the five pounds of cheese.
00:31:18.000 It was great.
00:31:18.000 You get the Boar's Head American cheese.
00:31:20.000 It's delicious.
00:31:21.000 American cheese?
00:31:22.000 Yeah, like it white.
00:31:23.000 The plastic shit.
00:31:25.000 No, you're talking about the stuff in the... Craft Slices stuff.
00:31:28.000 No, that's caca.
00:31:29.000 Poo poo caca doo doo.
00:31:30.000 I'm talking about, you buy the Boar's Head brand, it's between the wax paper.
00:31:35.000 I like that for Munda Cheese.
00:31:36.000 Good quality.
00:31:37.000 What if you go to a deli and have them slice off some American cheese for you?
00:31:41.000 No, mozzarella and above if I'm gonna get violent.
00:31:44.000 Cheddar.
00:31:45.000 Just cheddar.
00:31:46.000 Cheddar?
00:31:47.000 Food's done.
00:31:47.000 We've already invented food.
00:31:49.000 It's called a cheeseburger with cheddar cheese, medium rare, lettuce and tomato.
00:31:55.000 Let's stop now.
00:31:57.000 It's like my dad said about the arithmics.
00:31:59.000 We've already finished music.
00:32:01.000 Stop.
00:32:01.000 Right about that, just not to cut you off, but you see that clip right there?
00:32:05.000 Yeah.
00:32:05.000 That right there is the beginning of it going from shit to diarrhea real fast.
00:32:10.000 As soon as he's got his hand on my chest.
00:32:12.000 The cop on the left is fuck meter is pecked.
00:32:14.000 Fuck that.
00:32:15.000 He doesn't give a fuck anymore.
00:32:16.000 Oh, see that right there?
00:32:19.000 What state is that?
00:32:21.000 Why are you showing this?
00:32:21.000 Is this the clip I asked you to pull up?
00:32:23.000 I think- is it?
00:32:24.000 It's a great clip.
00:32:25.000 Play it though.
00:32:26.000 Oh, I didn't know you didn't see that.
00:32:27.000 I'm sorry.
00:32:27.000 Oh.
00:32:28.000 Tweets from a suspended account.
00:32:29.000 So this must be just the reply.
00:32:31.000 Oh, poo.
00:32:32.000 It's odd that they do that.
00:32:33.000 Wait, let me refresh it.
00:32:33.000 I'm looking at it on my monitor and I'm like, that's what he's talking about.
00:32:36.000 Yeah, it's just gonna go from shit to diarrhea.
00:32:38.000 Well, this might be better than the original clip.
00:32:40.000 Yeah, it's weird that they keep the comments.
00:32:42.000 He's had enough.
00:32:43.000 The United States?
00:32:47.000 Nowadays in the United States, it seems as though criminals have more rights than law-abiding citizens.
00:32:52.000 Take Brazil, for example.
00:32:54.000 Oh, that's Brazil.
00:32:55.000 Oh, Brazil.
00:32:55.000 They're gonna shoot him dead.
00:32:56.000 So they do that in Brazil, too.
00:32:57.000 Oh, nice shot!
00:33:07.000 He looks like a New York State Cougar.
00:33:08.000 They're in good shape, though.
00:33:10.000 Yeah, right?
00:33:11.000 That's someone who takes the job seriously.
00:33:13.000 He gave him a Larry Bonds look.
00:33:15.000 I like that.
00:33:16.000 He's drinking way too much Thunderbird.
00:33:17.000 They sell that down there?
00:33:32.000 Probably.
00:33:32.000 They have a lot of blacks down there.
00:33:33.000 They have... We took in 320,000 slaves.
00:33:37.000 They took in 3 million slaves.
00:33:39.000 It's also a humongous country.
00:33:40.000 And those slaves multiply.
00:33:46.000 Let's check out this dude.
00:33:49.000 It's a documentary about a guy who's wasted with a flat tire.
00:33:53.000 Yeah, what's up, man?
00:33:56.000 Just trying to do some mail.
00:33:58.000 Oh, you ain't gonna be able to put no air in there.
00:33:59.000 It's cut.
00:34:00.000 You won't make it home.
00:34:02.000 Sounds like Mitch Hedberg.
00:34:03.000 Oh what, hopes and dreams?
00:34:04.000 You can't drive today anyway.
00:34:06.000 Why not?
00:34:06.000 Because he told me you've been drinking.
00:34:08.000 Who you gonna call to come get you?
00:34:09.000 My daughter.
00:34:14.000 Is this your dad?
00:34:16.000 No, that's my boyfriend.
00:34:17.000 Oh.
00:34:18.000 You've been on ****.
00:34:19.000 So you just out here at the gas station doing what?
00:34:22.000 I was going to get some air.
00:34:23.000 I was trying to sober up, but I got behind the wheel again.
00:34:26.000 I just know I seen him, so I came over here.
00:34:29.000 Look at you.
00:34:30.000 Just look at him.
00:34:31.000 You want to give him a ride home?
00:34:32.000 Hell no.
00:34:33.000 I can't win, man.
00:34:36.000 Out of nowhere.
00:34:37.000 That is my life story.
00:34:39.000 How does she see you?
00:34:40.000 She live over the hill over there.
00:34:43.000 I'm gonna ask you, is there going to be any more strange women that show up?
00:34:46.000 No sir.
00:34:47.000 Are you sure about that?
00:34:48.000 That's the strange one right there.
00:34:51.000 That's her.
00:34:52.000 You doing alright?
00:34:53.000 That's her.
00:34:55.000 That's my problem with cops and all these, I mean the show and Live PD and all this, they can't riff.
00:35:01.000 You can't joke around because you might ruin the case, right?
00:35:06.000 That hurts.
00:35:07.000 Because there's so much comedy going on right before your very eyes.
00:35:12.000 Change this to a cop background.
00:35:15.000 You want to do the cop talk intro?
00:35:17.000 I think they know they're being videoed and recorded and they're just careful what they say nowadays.
00:35:21.000 Yeah, that's not funny.
00:35:22.000 It was a lot funnier when there were no cameras.
00:35:25.000 You guys could riff.
00:35:26.000 You come from riff eras.
00:35:28.000 Right, John?
00:35:31.000 Absolutely.
00:35:32.000 When did the cameras come out?
00:35:33.000 When did the body cams come out?
00:35:35.000 I never... Well, Highway One started wearing them.
00:35:39.000 They had them in the highway cars, probably in... With the VHS tapes?
00:35:44.000 Yeah.
00:35:44.000 Mm-hmm.
00:35:45.000 Jesus.
00:35:45.000 And then they went away, though.
00:35:46.000 They didn't last long.
00:35:47.000 Now, what's fucked up is, those highway cars, I think it's like with the state polices, when you... They're all...
00:35:56.000 They're not VHS, I forget what the word is.
00:35:58.000 When you go into Highway 1 or certain areas, it's automatically download.
00:36:04.000 Yeah.
00:36:04.000 Yeah.
00:36:04.000 Yeah.
00:36:05.000 Yeah.
00:36:06.000 Axon.
00:36:06.000 Yeah.
00:36:07.000 All the cops have that now.
00:36:08.000 Yeah.
00:36:08.000 So it's automatically downloaded, so you can't tell the sergeant, hey, by the way, I fucked up, could you fix this for me?
00:36:13.000 No, no, no.
00:36:13.000 No, what they do is they put their hand over it and they go, turn it off, and they turn it off, and then it comes back on.
00:36:18.000 You can mute it.
00:36:21.000 You're allowed to mute.
00:36:23.000 If you want to talk with another cop and you don't want it recorded, you can mute.
00:36:26.000 The state police started wearing body cams about a year ago.
00:36:29.000 That's it?
00:36:30.000 Oh, really?
00:36:31.000 Yeah.
00:36:31.000 Do you think it's better or worse for cops having the body cams?
00:36:35.000 At the end of the day, it's better.
00:36:36.000 Yeah.
00:36:37.000 Oh, yeah?
00:36:37.000 Yeah.
00:36:38.000 Silent Witness.
00:36:40.000 Well, I guess it's better in court because you can show the entire thing.
00:36:43.000 But as far as public opinion goes, they're seeing the worst 20 seconds.
00:36:48.000 Well, they're cherry picking the clips that they want to show.
00:36:52.000 Right.
00:36:52.000 Like Rodney King.
00:36:54.000 That was after a massive super chase.
00:36:57.000 He had been evading police.
00:36:58.000 He was laughing while they tried to tase him.
00:37:00.000 And then eventually they had to tune him up.
00:37:03.000 But everyone just saw the tune up and that was the end of the fucking world.
00:37:09.000 Let's show a clip of some cyclists getting a talking-to from a police officer.
00:37:14.000 I'm sorry, Matty, I don't have more clips of criminals being cool.
00:37:20.000 It seems like every clip I have here... They don't like to be filmed.
00:37:21.000 The bad guys are the bad guys.
00:37:23.000 You don't have any home movies, Matty?
00:37:25.000 I have nice pictures, like personal collection stuff.
00:37:31.000 Evidence.
00:37:32.000 Wait, we got the... What are you doing on your phone there, Tim?
00:37:35.000 On a television show.
00:37:37.000 What a narc.
00:37:38.000 Gay porn.
00:37:40.000 He scratched his nutsack.
00:37:41.000 Imagine you're watching Tucker Carlson and one of the guests was like, well... He's got narcolepsy.
00:37:49.000 He's on his phone.
00:37:50.000 What's on the screen?
00:37:51.000 It's so important.
00:37:51.000 It wasn't even on this screen.
00:37:54.000 What?
00:37:54.000 He's watching himself on the show on his phone.
00:37:58.000 I don't believe you.
00:37:59.000 I'm trying to help you, Tim.
00:38:03.000 And yet, you come down in your pack, you get your herd mentality, and you think you can blow through our city, and then, then, when somebody accidentally honks at you, you give them the finger, and then you call us and say people are being rude to you.
00:38:19.000 As a whole, I'm generalizing, of course, I'm not singling any of you out, but you all did bring the stop sign.
00:38:25.000 Plain as day, including you.
00:38:28.000 Plain as day.
00:38:30.000 Someone got a DWR on a bicycle.
00:38:31.000 Really?
00:38:33.000 In Florida.
00:38:35.000 Sounds like that's one of the cops that got beat up in high school.
00:38:38.000 Oh yeah, that guy there?
00:38:39.000 That's part of the 5%?
00:38:39.000 This guy actually ends up being cool.
00:38:42.000 Right at the end?
00:38:43.000 Yeah.
00:38:44.000 You know this clip?
00:38:45.000 I've seen it, yeah.
00:38:46.000 Watch, listen.
00:38:47.000 I think you're a liar.
00:38:48.000 Okay?
00:38:49.000 A little volume.
00:38:50.000 You're a liar.
00:38:51.000 Can we just hear the officer on that?
00:38:53.000 See, when I get told that... He's gonna get a ticket, everybody else can go.
00:38:59.000 Oh, he gave him a ticket for lying.
00:39:00.000 That's great.
00:39:01.000 You're a liar.
00:39:02.000 You hate those cyclists, don't you?
00:39:04.000 With all the sponsors on their jerseys.
00:39:06.000 Yeah, they look fucking ridiculous.
00:39:07.000 Oh, they come up and down a fucking road.
00:39:09.000 Who sponsored you?
00:39:11.000 Well, maybe it's their favorite cyclist's jersey.
00:39:15.000 No, there's logos all over this shit.
00:39:18.000 And even if it's not logos that are sponsors, that's the aesthetic.
00:39:22.000 The aesthetic comes from professional races, where it says fucking Coca-Cola and everything on it, and then they mimic that.
00:39:28.000 I think it's these fucking suburbanites that just have too much money, so when they get a hobby, it can't just be a bike and a helmet and some shit.
00:39:36.000 They have to get all the gear.
00:39:37.000 And for some weird reason in Westchester, they're like 80% black.
00:39:40.000 In Spanish, yes.
00:39:42.000 All these fucking black dudes have got all the gear.
00:39:45.000 Every Sunday morning.
00:39:47.000 And they're in a crowd.
00:39:48.000 What is with riding?
00:39:52.000 Why are you with 30 people?
00:39:53.000 Like I don't get the advantage of that.
00:39:55.000 You're on a bicycle ride.
00:39:56.000 It's probably a club.
00:39:57.000 But why?
00:39:59.000 Because they want to be healthy.
00:40:01.000 Then go for a bicycle ride!
00:40:03.000 They are!
00:40:04.000 Just 30 of them!
00:40:05.000 Why are you in a group?
00:40:06.000 Like, I understand a biker club.
00:40:08.000 We're all going to fucking some party together.
00:40:11.000 I think they take turns in the front of the pack and it's tougher for the guy in the front of the pack and then everybody drafts behind him and then they sweat.
00:40:16.000 It's like they're mimicking the Tour de France.
00:40:19.000 Yeah, it's gay.
00:40:20.000 It's weird.
00:40:21.000 I think the jerks that they wear, they might be like people that they follow, like a Giants jersey or a Jets jersey.
00:40:27.000 That's what I was saying.
00:40:29.000 When you're on a bike run, everyone goes to the bar afterwards, you're getting all licked up.
00:40:32.000 I wonder what these bikers do, is it like a sausage party afterwards?
00:40:36.000 They probably go for tofu and get a bunch of Mountain Dew.
00:40:40.000 Even, I gotta say, even like two dudes going on a motorcycle ride together, even that, you're sort of like, what are we doing?
00:40:47.000 What are you talking about?
00:40:48.000 It's the best thing in the world.
00:40:49.000 Two guys?
00:40:52.000 Yeah.
00:40:53.000 You can't have a brotherhood by yourself.
00:40:56.000 You can't have a what?
00:40:57.000 A brotherhood.
00:41:00.000 Two people on a motorcycle ride.
00:41:02.000 I've done it a few times and I'm just like, why am I doing this?
00:41:08.000 There's always a hierarchy.
00:41:09.000 The guy whose idea it was, he's always in the front.
00:41:11.000 Why is he in the front?
00:41:12.000 Should I go in the front for a bit?
00:41:14.000 It's gay!
00:41:16.000 No.
00:41:18.000 No, it's stupid.
00:41:20.000 I think it'd be fun.
00:41:21.000 It's exhilarating.
00:41:23.000 A motorcycle ride is exhilarating.
00:41:24.000 Why are two guys together?
00:41:27.000 What, do you pull up next to him when you get some room?
00:41:29.000 Hey!
00:41:30.000 You pull up next to him and you wink to him.
00:41:32.000 Well, maybe you stop at a bunch of bars along the way.
00:41:35.000 Yeah, now you're just talking to your comms in your helmet.
00:41:38.000 Okay, what are you saying in your comms?
00:41:40.000 We should pull over?
00:41:42.000 Pretty much.
00:41:42.000 And suck each other's dicks?
00:41:43.000 I don't listen to anything.
00:41:44.000 Like, my buddies I ride with, they got... Is that what you do?
00:41:47.000 Everything they listen to?
00:41:48.000 I don't listen to anything when I ride.
00:41:51.000 I'll ride eight, nine hundred miles a day.
00:41:53.000 I assumed you two rode together.
00:41:55.000 I'm freaking with him.
00:41:56.000 Not more than like... Oh, you went back on a bike?
00:42:00.000 From here to like a bar for maybe 10 minutes, but like, do you want to go to the fucking Catskills together?
00:42:09.000 Just in the summer, just before Gavin got raided by the FBI.
00:42:13.000 I left on a Thursday and I was in Arkansas on Friday night.
00:42:19.000 Yeah, I don't have a problem with that.
00:42:21.000 And you were with someone, but you were both going to a destination.
00:42:24.000 That makes sense.
00:42:25.000 But just two dudes going on a motorcycle ride for fun.
00:42:29.000 I use it as therapy.
00:42:31.000 It clears my head.
00:42:32.000 Then go by yourself.
00:42:34.000 I do a lot of times, but- It's better when you have two!
00:42:36.000 No one's listening to my argument here!
00:42:38.000 It seems fun, because when you go somewhere, you go somewhere, right?
00:42:41.000 And then you get out for a bit- Okay, when you go somewhere by yourself- I'm not talking about going somewhere!
00:42:46.000 I'm talking about two dudes- Wait a second- Just doing like a 30 minute bike ride together, and then getting back home!
00:42:52.000 But when you ride, do you get out?
00:42:54.000 Do you go to a destination, get out, and then head back?
00:42:56.000 Or do you just start riding back?
00:42:57.000 Yeah, you might stop for lunch.
00:42:59.000 That's what I'm talking about.
00:43:00.000 Get some lunch together.
00:43:15.000 That's right.
00:43:15.000 That's what I'm talking about.
00:43:17.000 That's correct.
00:43:18.000 I gotta admit, I prefer to ride alone.
00:43:20.000 I listen to music when I ride and it's kind of annoying when you gotta keep track of somebody else.
00:43:25.000 Exactly.
00:43:25.000 No, I admit that.
00:43:26.000 It's like hunting, too.
00:43:27.000 You don't want to hunt with someone else.
00:43:30.000 You have to worry about them smelling or pissing or stepping on a broken twig.
00:43:37.000 Scorpio.
00:43:38.000 No.
00:43:38.000 It's a solo act.
00:43:41.000 Yeah, but they're not right with you when you're hunting.
00:43:43.000 Usually, if you hunt with somebody else, they're in a stand somewhere, and then you have help, you know, pressing the deer.
00:43:47.000 Okay, great.
00:43:48.000 They should be a quarter of a mile away.
00:43:50.000 Yeah, that's usually how it works, because you've got to... Who's going to pull the trigger?
00:43:55.000 Here's someone shooting a crazy man with a knife, which might happen tonight, for all we know.
00:44:01.000 Are you guys strapped?
00:44:03.000 Always.
00:44:03.000 All the time.
00:44:04.000 Are you strapped, John?
00:44:06.000 No.
00:44:07.000 Why not?
00:44:09.000 Good question.
00:44:11.000 Not tonight.
00:44:13.000 Why aren't you strapped?
00:44:15.000 I'm afraid this guy over here might steal my gun.
00:44:21.000 Is it getting harder to retain your concealed carry?
00:44:25.000 No, they have... No, we're exempt.
00:44:27.000 You have the Leosa, HR 218.
00:44:29.000 Yeah, we're exempt.
00:44:31.000 But I heard even with cops, it's getting stricter.
00:44:35.000 No, it's federal.
00:44:37.000 Leosa is like law enforcement, it's the thing for, and it's HR.
00:44:43.000 I love how a criminal explains our gun permit.
00:44:45.000 They always know the laws.
00:44:47.000 He's explaining our gun permit to us.
00:44:49.000 So you guys have, I mean the retired guys should have your HR 218.
00:44:53.000 We have HR 218 that was passed by Bush, which brings us.
00:44:56.000 Again, I do have family that's... Yeah, we can carry in any state.
00:45:00.000 Anywhere in the country.
00:45:01.000 But I'm saying, in Manhattan, the right to have a gun in Manhattan, they want to crack down on it so bad that even cops, who are seen as untouchable, even those guys are getting questioned.
00:45:11.000 They gave us a waiver for Times Square and that area, and like the churches and all that, and the restaurants.
00:45:18.000 Okay.
00:45:19.000 Because when you go to Times Square now, there's these stupid signs down there that says, this is a gun-free zone.
00:45:24.000 That's like, rob these people.
00:45:26.000 Stupid.
00:45:27.000 It's like, oh that's great, I could go in there and rob somebody.
00:45:29.000 Is that even in the penal law or is that like a civil, like city code?
00:45:32.000 It's a state code.
00:45:34.000 It's a city code.
00:45:35.000 Doesn't Trump... It's nonsense.
00:45:37.000 So it's not enforceable.
00:45:38.000 It is enforceable.
00:45:39.000 It's not against the law per se.
00:45:41.000 No, it is enforceable because if you're, you know, if you have a, let's suppose you're a construction worker and you have a gun permit and you happen to go into that area and something happens.
00:45:52.000 They will, what do you call it, they'll lock you up.
00:45:55.000 Yeah, you'll get locked out.
00:45:56.000 You'll never get convicted.
00:45:57.000 City ordinance.
00:45:58.000 Yes.
00:45:58.000 Completely unconstitutional.
00:45:59.000 You're going to lose your gun permit.
00:46:02.000 I went to see that play, Book of Mormons, and they wouldn't let me in with my gun.
00:46:11.000 Private property, yeah.
00:46:13.000 So where'd you put it?
00:46:15.000 I went outside, I gave it to another cop.
00:46:16.000 I said, hold on, I'll be back in two hours.
00:46:19.000 You can go to the precinct, the local precinct, and they have little lockers, too.
00:46:23.000 You can lock them.
00:46:24.000 Can you do that with any precinct?
00:46:25.000 Do you just go in a... I don't know if you're not a cop.
00:46:29.000 If you're a cop, no way.
00:46:30.000 But if you're a cop, you can.
00:46:31.000 So any precinct, you can walk in and store some stuff?
00:46:33.000 Yep.
00:46:33.000 Oh, cool.
00:46:34.000 But you know something?
00:46:34.000 I wasn't being slick enough.
00:46:35.000 I should have told him, hey, that's my keychain, that's... Yeah, well, did you just tag me down?
00:46:40.000 What's that?
00:46:41.000 Was he wanting you?
00:46:42.000 Yeah, it was a female one.
00:46:43.000 She said, what's that?
00:46:44.000 I said, that's my gun.
00:46:44.000 I should have said those were my keys.
00:46:45.000 You know how I get out of that?
00:46:46.000 I've been, I've walked into medicine.
00:46:47.000 You got a device in your chest that can't do that.
00:46:50.000 Can't go through metal detectors.
00:46:51.000 Oh, yeah.
00:46:51.000 Anytime we go to the airport with Matty.
00:46:53.000 I mean, I was in Vegas over the summer.
00:46:54.000 Brian's like, how can we get to go around all the metal detectors?
00:46:57.000 I got an implant in my arm.
00:46:58.000 Well, you have paperwork for that, right?
00:46:59.000 Yeah, I have a patient card.
00:47:00.000 They never asked for it.
00:47:02.000 Really?
00:47:02.000 So, what would you do down, going down into a Manhattan to a bar or something?
00:47:09.000 What do you mean?
00:47:10.000 They're going to wand you there, right?
00:47:12.000 They can't wand me.
00:47:14.000 It's illegal.
00:47:15.000 Well, if it's private property, they can do whatever they want.
00:47:18.000 I've gotten wanded in Madison Square Garden.
00:47:21.000 With my gun on me, they wanded me, the wand went off, and I walked right in.
00:47:24.000 That would be such a discrimination lawsuit.
00:47:28.000 It would be such a discrimination lawsuit because I'm a disabled person.
00:47:31.000 Discriminating against a disabled person.
00:47:32.000 Oh yeah, if you bring that up.
00:47:33.000 If you challenge him, a lot of guys will back off.
00:47:36.000 He goes in the city to a concert, he puts his fucking gun in a little tray like at the TSA.
00:47:42.000 They take it around the fucking metal detector.
00:47:45.000 He walks through it, then picks up his gun and puts it back.
00:47:48.000 They didn't even know it was something like a fanny pack.
00:47:50.000 They didn't even check it.
00:47:51.000 That's unbelievable.
00:47:53.000 Here's your weird box back.
00:47:57.000 That's hilarious.
00:47:59.000 Let's watch cops shoot a crazy man with a knife.
00:48:01.000 Okie dokie.
00:48:02.000 Oh, that's up close.
00:48:04.000 All right, see the reel.
00:48:05.000 Here we go.
00:48:05.000 This is very sensitive.
00:48:07.000 Drop it!
00:48:14.000 Oh, this was a crazy kid.
00:48:15.000 Within 10 seconds of the front door being opened, Jason Harrison lay dying in his own driveway.
00:48:22.000 Shot at least five times, twice in the back, by officer John Rogers and... How many shots did you get?
00:48:30.000 You know what it is?
00:48:31.000 He probably fired the first two shots and that's what spun him around.
00:48:35.000 And then he fired the other three.
00:48:37.000 So it's not like he said, hey, turn around, let me shoot you in the back.
00:48:40.000 But a civilian's view of stuff like that is, look, he's mentally disturbed.
00:48:46.000 You didn't kill a bad guy, you killed a poor, sick kid.
00:48:49.000 So should I let him stab you?
00:48:50.000 And you're like, what would you like me to do?
00:48:53.000 Talk him down?
00:48:55.000 At the end of the day, self-preservation is key.
00:48:58.000 At the end of the day, I don't have time to do a psych evaluation on everyone, so if a kid is coming at me with a knife, I gotta shoot him.
00:49:04.000 Sorry!
00:49:05.000 Why didn't the mother jump in there and say, hey, son, back up with that knife?
00:49:10.000 Yeah.
00:49:11.000 What are you supposed to do?
00:49:12.000 She knows.
00:49:12.000 He would have probably stabbed her.
00:49:14.000 More than likely, she's the one who called the police.
00:49:16.000 I've seen that a few times, where some guy gets shot and they go, you didn't have to kill him.
00:49:20.000 It's very sad, but it's a fact of life.
00:49:22.000 I feel bad for the mother.
00:49:24.000 You're doing what your training is.
00:49:25.000 Your training said, if someone comes at you with a knife, shoot them.
00:49:29.000 Sorry.
00:49:29.000 What were you talking about?
00:49:30.000 Remember the 21 feet rule that you were talking about?
00:49:32.000 Yeah, that's true.
00:49:32.000 21 feet.
00:49:33.000 If a guy has a knife, you gotta be 21 feet.
00:49:36.000 How many seconds is that?
00:49:38.000 Three seconds.
00:49:39.000 There's a movie called Surviving Edge Weapons.
00:49:41.000 They show it in the police academy.
00:49:42.000 It's from like the 70s.
00:49:43.000 It's excellent.
00:49:45.000 I've actually tried that demonstration a few times.
00:49:48.000 Neil, I can see you glancing at your phone.
00:49:51.000 Not guilty, sir.
00:49:52.000 What is that you're glancing at?
00:50:10.000 I don't know.
00:50:13.000 Guys are on thin ice.
00:50:14.000 Detective Shitty!
00:50:16.000 We're going to have to put the phones in a hat and you're going to have to hold them.
00:50:20.000 Yeah.
00:50:20.000 What's this now?
00:50:21.000 Mine's on the floor.
00:50:22.000 Oh, there you go.
00:50:24.000 The 21 feet.
00:50:25.000 Yeah, this has got everything in it.
00:50:28.000 Remember this?
00:50:29.000 They showed this in both my cabins.
00:50:31.000 I don't remember this.
00:50:33.000 That doesn't look very scary.
00:50:35.000 It starts about how old age weapons are.
00:50:37.000 It was just terror.
00:50:39.000 How old weapons are.
00:50:40.000 I meant edged weapons.
00:50:43.000 Since Caveman.
00:50:44.000 Yeah, I think we all guessed that.
00:50:46.000 Oh, my God.
00:50:52.000 He butt stabbed him.
00:50:53.000 Where you can anticipate edged weapons is the disturbance call.
00:50:57.000 In fact, more officers a knife during disturbance.
00:51:00.000 That's crazy.
00:51:01.000 I bet the guy narrating this is like just like 31 years old.
00:51:05.000 Situations combined.
00:51:07.000 You know how like all young guys looked older back in the day?
00:51:11.000 In the 70s, you see like high school students are like, hey, what's up?
00:51:14.000 I'm bald and gray.
00:51:15.000 They had more testosterone.
00:51:17.000 Yeah.
00:51:18.000 This guy's probably 22.
00:51:19.000 He's like, we died younger too, so we were older.
00:51:22.000 Yeah.
00:51:24.000 Let's jump to this lunatic at the airport.
00:51:27.000 I got to get through these.
00:51:30.000 It's very important we get through these videos.
00:51:34.000 Just send me these preemptively and then I'll download them.
00:51:37.000 Dude, everyone says that.
00:51:38.000 I have thousands of videos lined up.
00:51:41.000 If you copy and paste them into a Google Doc, I'll take my time and then just go in there and download them.
00:51:46.000 Yeah.
00:51:47.000 That's a good idea actually.
00:51:48.000 Yes.
00:51:49.000 Cop affirmative action hires get roasted.
00:51:51.000 Triple OG beats a deal instead of a couple of NYPD's finest.
00:51:54.000 Oh yeah, this is funny.
00:51:55.000 Was Ryan Wright?
00:51:57.000 Blue on blue?
00:51:58.000 What?
00:51:58.000 Was Ryan Wright right there?
00:52:06.000 You were not right.
00:52:07.000 Let me play my little baby bumper.
00:52:08.000 We haven't tried it yet.
00:52:09.000 The guys want to see it.
00:52:26.000 You know, it's funny, those babies are less annoying than you.
00:52:29.000 That's not true.
00:52:30.000 Their normal hair.
00:52:31.000 That's not true at all.
00:52:32.000 They had Filipino nannies.
00:52:34.000 Yeah.
00:52:34.000 Let's not go back there.
00:52:38.000 They're relaxed.
00:52:41.000 Yeah, this is affirmative action in the NYPD.
00:52:44.000 And these female cops cannot do shit.
00:52:47.000 Sorry, ladies, you don't belong in the force.
00:52:52.000 You have to be in the region of six feet and you have to be able to carry a hundred pounds on your back for a block.
00:52:58.000 That's the new rule I just invented now.
00:53:03.000 That's a traffic agent.
00:53:04.000 I remember this.
00:53:05.000 Yeah, that's not a real cop.
00:53:06.000 Those are traffic agents with the white hat.
00:53:09.000 Well, it might be.
00:53:10.000 No, definitely traffic agents.
00:53:11.000 Why are they even getting involved?
00:53:13.000 Is this New York?
00:53:14.000 Yeah.
00:53:14.000 This is old.
00:53:15.000 This is on the West Side Highway.
00:53:18.000 There used to be audio for it.
00:53:21.000 Vanished.
00:53:21.000 I give you credit though.
00:53:23.000 I'm not giving up.
00:53:23.000 I give you the audio.
00:53:24.000 Get the fuck out of here.
00:53:26.000 Bop, bop, bop.
00:53:26.000 Run.
00:53:26.000 Vroom, vroom.
00:53:27.000 They do get crazy.
00:53:29.000 Aren't those like the, yeah, they're all Indian, right?
00:53:32.000 The traffic cops?
00:53:33.000 Oh, I've seen a lot.
00:53:36.000 Didn't you say, Tim, that you had some couple where they were... Yeah, he wants to come next week.
00:53:41.000 But I won't be here.
00:53:44.000 But you said his wife was a total badass cop that totally rocks?
00:53:48.000 I don't know if she was a badass, but she was a good cop.
00:53:52.000 Active cop, I should say.
00:53:53.000 But how, I'm sorry, how can you be a good cop if you're a woman?
00:53:58.000 I know we've gone over this a hundred times.
00:54:00.000 She's gonna get so mad at you.
00:54:03.000 But if there's a fight, how are you helping?
00:54:08.000 No, you're right.
00:54:09.000 I mean that, you're right there.
00:54:10.000 They can't fight.
00:54:11.000 They can't fight men.
00:54:13.000 A lot of guys can't fight.
00:54:15.000 That's true.
00:54:15.000 Right, they shouldn't be cops.
00:54:17.000 I agree.
00:54:19.000 And with these female cops they are aware it's the elephant in the room so then they overreact and instead of de-escalating they make things worse and now you gotta fight when you could have probably tampered it down.
00:54:32.000 It could have been a non-confrontational situation.
00:54:35.000 Situation.
00:54:36.000 A very difficult situation.
00:54:37.000 Of course.
00:54:39.000 Christopher.
00:54:40.000 Okay, uh, this is my last, uh, example of an important video.
00:54:46.000 No, I got two more.
00:54:47.000 This is a white dude after an accident.
00:54:49.000 I don't know what the fuck's going on.
00:54:51.000 Maybe you can give me your expert opinion.
00:54:52.000 Can I get a bud?
00:54:53.000 Yeah, gotcha.
00:54:55.000 From the right-hand side.
00:54:56.000 Uh, I think he might be on meth?
00:55:02.000 Were you asleep whenever they rolled up on the- I remember this one.
00:55:05.000 Were you still unconscious?
00:55:07.000 Are you okay?
00:55:07.000 What happened is... Is this your normal?
00:55:09.000 No, I'm shaking up officer.
00:55:11.000 I got you.
00:55:12.000 I almost died.
00:55:13.000 Come on.
00:55:13.000 I was sleeping.
00:55:15.000 Don't have a seat right there because I don't want anybody rearing me.
00:55:17.000 If you want to have a seat on the ground then that's fine.
00:55:21.000 Did you, aside from naturally being asleep, did you feel like you got knocked unconscious or anything like that?
00:55:29.000 I don't know.
00:55:30.000 All of a sudden I heard BANG!
00:55:31.000 And I looked up and I saw everything.
00:55:32.000 Glass was going crazy and stuff.
00:55:34.000 I just went nuts, man.
00:55:36.000 I gotcha.
00:55:36.000 What happened?
00:55:36.000 Did you get out then?
00:55:37.000 I didn't know what happened, man.
00:55:40.000 I was completely asleep and it just hit me hard.
00:55:43.000 I understand.
00:55:43.000 I gotcha.
00:55:44.000 Alright.
00:55:46.000 So we're good.
00:55:47.000 You fell asleep on the wheel and you smashed your car.
00:55:50.000 I think everything's totally explainable.
00:55:53.000 I gotcha.
00:55:54.000 We're good.
00:55:57.000 As long as he's never said he was in that car driving it, it's good.
00:56:00.000 He's trying to make him say, yeah, I was driving.
00:56:04.000 Because the cop can't arrest him if he didn't see him operate the vehicle.
00:56:09.000 Correct.
00:56:11.000 He could say Joe Balls was driving and he took off running.
00:56:13.000 Yeah, he went to go get help.
00:56:14.000 He told him to stay out of the scene.
00:56:18.000 Alright, I think everything's fine then.
00:56:20.000 We're good to go.
00:56:24.000 Wait, I told you to sit down.
00:56:39.000 Stop!
00:56:39.000 Stop what you're doing right now!
00:56:40.000 What are you doing?
00:56:41.000 I don't know!
00:56:43.000 I don't know!
00:56:44.000 He just lost his mind on me.
00:56:45.000 Stop!
00:56:46.000 Stop!
00:56:46.000 Stop what you're doing right now!
00:56:48.000 Stop!
00:56:48.000 Stop!
00:56:56.000 Stop!
00:56:58.000 Stop!
00:56:59.000 Stop!
00:57:00.000 Stop!
00:57:02.000 He's fleeing and running around.
00:57:02.000 He says he's got a gun.
00:57:03.000 Stop!
00:57:04.000 Stop!
00:57:05.000 Stop!
00:57:05.000 Stop!
00:57:07.000 Stop!
00:57:07.000 Stop!
00:57:08.000 Stop!
00:57:09.000 Stop!
00:57:09.000 Stop!
00:57:10.000 Stop what you're doing!
00:57:21.000 What the fuck?
00:57:22.000 Are those papers?
00:57:23.000 What is all that shit on the ground?
00:57:25.000 Papers, I guess.
00:57:26.000 I don't know.
00:57:28.000 Did he have a gun?
00:57:30.000 No.
00:57:30.000 I think he was on meth and he just lost his shit.
00:57:33.000 Something happened to him.
00:57:34.000 Some kind of psychotic episode.
00:57:36.000 Yeah.
00:57:36.000 Cause he went from like, I don't know what happened to you're trying to kill me and... My head.
00:57:42.000 And it went bad.
00:57:45.000 Okay, last piece.
00:57:46.000 No, actually second last piece.
00:57:48.000 We were talking about Black Lives Matter in Britain and I was saying, how dare you?
00:57:52.000 You didn't have slaves.
00:57:53.000 Now, obviously the colonies had slaves, but that's not the residence of Britain today.
00:57:59.000 If you're a black person in Britain today, you can't talk about slavery, can you?
00:58:06.000 Yeah, but didn't they, they had slaves around the world, didn't they rule India?
00:58:10.000 Where... Sure!
00:58:11.000 Yeah, but in America, we had slaves here on this terra firma.
00:58:16.000 I'm not a BLM fan, but at least there's an argument here, where, hey, you guys had slaves here, and I'm a descendant of slaves here, and that pisses me off.
00:58:25.000 Okay.
00:58:26.000 At least I get the argument.
00:58:28.000 But in Britain, there's no way
00:58:31.000 There's no way the people there, the blacks there, are descendants of some fucking Guyana slave colony.
00:58:38.000 Right?
00:58:39.000 Right.
00:58:40.000 It wasn't a thing.
00:58:42.000 So this woman, Sasha Johnson, was the face of Britain's BLM.
00:58:48.000 She was doing really well, really passionate.
00:58:50.000 The picture kind of gives away where this ends.
00:58:53.000 And she would talk about how everything is white supremacy.
00:58:56.000 She's in constant fear for her life because of these fucking Nazis.
00:58:59.000 And then she had a big party, a BLM party.
00:59:02.000 By the way, as they were being investigated for fraud, just like the American BLM, and gunshots broke out.
00:59:09.000 They tried to kill her.
00:59:11.000 And... Well, the police jumped, ran in there, and tried to kill... Wow.
00:59:15.000 Yeah, the cops.
00:59:16.000 The Nazi cops.
00:59:17.000 The cops that don't carry guns?
00:59:18.000 Well, that was the media narrative.
00:59:20.000 So, after her shooting, like, for the next two days, it was like, this is what happens when you stand up to whiteness.
00:59:25.000 And it's like, no... What's that in her mouth?
00:59:29.000 Why is half her head missing?
00:59:30.000 What's that knot in her head?
00:59:31.000 Oh, shit.
00:59:32.000 It's all caved in.
00:59:33.000 Yeah.
00:59:33.000 She hasn't moved in over a year.
00:59:35.000 Whoa.
00:59:36.000 Her brain's gone.
00:59:37.000 Look at her jaw, too.
00:59:38.000 Like, the back of her head is gone.
00:59:42.000 What do you mean?
00:59:42.000 Look at, does that look normal to you?
00:59:43.000 She's got a dent in her head the size of a bowling ball.
00:59:46.000 Does she have a fetterman or is it like a... Oh yeah, I never noticed that.
00:59:49.000 Do you see her head?
00:59:50.000 Yes, I'm familiar with her head, obviously.
00:59:53.000 I'm gonna miss that.
00:59:55.000 I'm disturbed by that one.
00:59:57.000 She might want to grow her hair out if she gets a date after she recovers because... She got shot in the head.
01:00:02.000 That's hard to miss.
01:00:04.000 So she got shot by blacks is the end of the story.
01:00:07.000 Oh.
01:00:08.000 I didn't think there were guns in England, huh?
01:00:10.000 Yeah, the cops don't carry them.
01:00:11.000 Well, they'll dig them up.
01:00:13.000 Hey, what was the reason they tried to kill her?
01:00:15.000 Do you know?
01:00:16.000 We don't know yet.
01:00:17.000 The problem is, every time they try to investigate which blacks shot her, Sasha Johnson, no one wants to be a snitch.
01:00:27.000 Sounds like Tupac.
01:00:28.000 Mm-hmm.
01:00:29.000 So they're keeping it nice and safe.
01:00:31.000 Okay.
01:00:32.000 Well, that's your world.
01:00:33.000 You said you were living in a racist society where you're constantly in fear of your life being murdered by fucking white supremacists and what blew half your head off?
01:00:45.000 Blacks.
01:00:46.000 Not good.
01:00:48.000 Not good.
01:00:48.000 See that one that got killed this morning?
01:00:50.000 Was she a congresswoman or no?
01:00:52.000 So she was assassinated in New Jersey.
01:00:56.000 A Republican politician.
01:00:58.000 She was African.
01:00:59.000 I think she was Nigerian.
01:01:01.000 And the way the media talks about it, they're like, she was found dead.
01:01:05.000 She wasn't found dead.
01:01:07.000 She was assassinated.
01:01:09.000 She was shot multiple times in her car.
01:01:10.000 She passed away from assassination, I guess you could say.
01:01:14.000 Contagious these days.
01:01:15.000 But it's gonna be gone.
01:01:16.000 That story's gonna be gone in a couple days.
01:01:19.000 And if it was a Democrat politician that was targeted, shot, dead in her car, outside of her house, it would be international news.
01:01:28.000 It's like the Memphis story has kind of disappeared.
01:01:32.000 Yeah.
01:01:32.000 Shocking, right?
01:01:34.000 Well, you know what's funny about the Memphis story, too, is all the new angles they have.
01:01:37.000 Like, they found that one white cop, and they made it all about him for a couple days.
01:01:41.000 Yeah, he's shit, right?
01:01:42.000 Was that a dude, or...?
01:01:44.000 What the fuck?
01:01:45.000 What's his...?
01:01:46.000 How was he involved?
01:01:47.000 He wasn't even in any of the videos.
01:01:49.000 He was at the first scene, but not the second.
01:01:50.000 The first scene when they first stopped him.
01:01:52.000 Ah.
01:01:53.000 So they can't wait to talk about him.
01:01:53.000 He was like, let me get the fuck out of here.
01:01:55.000 And then the other thing I saw, D.L.
01:01:57.000 Hughley on Daily Show, he said, you see how fast they arrested those motherfuckers?
01:02:04.000 They got him in like, in 20 hours.
01:02:06.000 Boom.
01:02:07.000 They was arrested, fired, they lost their jobs.
01:02:09.000 So, that was because they were black.
01:02:12.000 So now, like, the black murdering cops are the good guys, and we have to feel bad that they were arrested so fast.
01:02:19.000 That's what defund the police looks like, by the way.
01:02:22.000 Yeah.
01:02:23.000 New York City would have burnt down if those were five white officers.
01:02:27.000 New York City would be on fire right now.
01:02:29.000 Oh my God.
01:02:30.000 The whole country would be on fire.
01:02:32.000 Yeah.
01:02:32.000 Germany would be on fire.
01:02:34.000 Yeah.
01:02:34.000 They'd be fucking, they'd be riding in Stuttgart.
01:02:38.000 Norway would be on fire.
01:02:43.000 Uganda would be on fire.
01:02:45.000 Well, Uganda is kind of... You wouldn't be able to tell.
01:02:49.000 All right, last video.
01:02:50.000 These guys steal a car.
01:02:52.000 They go on a chase.
01:02:53.000 They hit some other cars.
01:02:55.000 Then the police decide not to chase them because they're going at 100 miles an hour.
01:02:58.000 It's not worth it.
01:03:00.000 And this cop pulls over.
01:03:02.000 He gets rear-ended.
01:03:04.000 And the reaction from the dude when they finally catch him is, I'm so tired, you guys.
01:03:10.000 I can't answer any questions.
01:03:11.000 I'm really tired.
01:03:13.000 It's one of the most annoying arrests.
01:03:14.000 So we can drop the needle all over this.
01:03:16.000 This starts here at 10 minutes in.
01:03:19.000 But it's always Wisconsin, by the way.
01:03:21.000 Maybe that's the code blue, that channel.
01:03:24.000 They're a Wisconsin-based thing, but it seems like every fucking video is Wisconsin.
01:03:32.000 Does this get your guises as adrenaline pumping when you see these?
01:03:35.000 No.
01:03:37.000 What do you feel?
01:03:39.000 What's he puking from?
01:03:41.000 Probably opiates.
01:03:42.000 Were you drinking something red or is that blood?
01:03:44.000 I'm taking the blood.
01:03:48.000 You know what that is?
01:03:49.000 He thinks getting arrested is gross.
01:03:50.000 Can you take him to the back of your car?
01:03:52.000 Yeah, that's the driver right there.
01:03:55.000 Where?
01:03:56.000 You're the driver.
01:03:57.000 What do you mean, where?
01:03:59.000 I do listen to funny stories.
01:04:01.000 Can you finish that before you get in my car, please?
01:04:06.000 Exactly.
01:04:07.000 Spread your feet.
01:04:08.000 Sit on the push bar.
01:04:08.000 Stop puking.
01:04:11.000 Stop puking.
01:04:12.000 Sit on the push bar.
01:04:14.000 What's your last name?
01:04:16.000 You smell it?
01:04:21.000 But if you go back of it, you see his hiding spot?
01:04:23.000 He just put a potted plant on his head.
01:04:26.000 And the cop's like, I know you're not a plant.
01:04:29.000 Wait, you just passed it.
01:04:30.000 It's, it's very close to the arrest.
01:04:32.000 Oh, they were on a foot chase.
01:04:33.000 Yeah.
01:04:36.000 There we go.
01:04:38.000 Sit tight, man.
01:04:40.000 We want to get back to him.
01:04:40.000 That's a tired guy.
01:04:41.000 At least he was being creative.
01:04:42.000 What's a guy riding a horse?
01:04:43.000 What the fuck?
01:04:44.000 Put your hands up!
01:04:44.000 Do it now!
01:05:00.000 I know you're not a plant.
01:05:07.000 Imagine being funny in that situation.
01:05:09.000 It's damn... How do you know I'm not a plant?
01:05:15.000 Plants don't have legs and shoes.
01:05:20.000 Officer, before you cuff me, I gotta know.
01:05:23.000 How'd you figure it out?
01:05:26.000 There's one thing that's bothering me.
01:05:27.000 They got Colombo on the case?
01:05:30.000 My wife's a huge fan.
01:05:31.000 She loves plants.
01:05:32.000 But I couldn't help but notice the pot is upside down and it's got legs with Reeboks on them.
01:05:41.000 At the police station, they'll do a lineup.
01:05:43.000 They'll have like a cactus.
01:05:46.000 A tomato plant in the sky!
01:05:50.000 My favorite video.
01:05:52.000 Have you ever seen the Connecticut State Trooper video?
01:05:54.000 Yeah, he played that on the show.
01:05:55.000 Yeah, recently actually.
01:05:55.000 Oh, he did?
01:05:56.000 Oh, that's great.
01:05:57.000 What's that one?
01:05:57.000 The guy who screams at the cop?
01:06:00.000 In Connecticut.
01:06:01.000 The guy starts yelling at him, he pulls him over.
01:06:02.000 He pulls the cop over, screaming at the cop.
01:06:04.000 Oh, it was the final video, and he's like, "'Cause you were all meh."
01:06:08.000 Oh yeah, that's great.
01:06:09.000 You had to be American.
01:06:11.000 That's huge.
01:06:12.000 Yeah, that was amazing.
01:06:13.000 The amazing thing about that video, too, is you're watching and you're like, how is that cop yelling and you can't see his lips move?
01:06:18.000 And then you realize, oh, it's the person in the car yelling at the cop.
01:06:23.000 You mind telling me why you're fucking riding this guy's ass and breaking his speed limit?
01:06:29.000 There's other angles of that video.
01:06:31.000 There's an angle from the driver videotaping on his phone, and then there's a body cam from the cop.
01:06:37.000 There's like three different angles that you can watch that video.
01:06:39.000 Well, that thing blew up.
01:06:40.000 There's... Neil, what are you doing?
01:06:43.000 He's picking his nails.
01:06:45.000 Cuticles.
01:06:46.000 I don't think there's anything cute about it.
01:06:49.000 There's license plates for him.
01:06:52.000 There's a challenge coin.
01:06:54.000 There's t-shirts.
01:06:56.000 Like, that guy is a cult.
01:06:57.000 That's a good way to talk yourself into jello.
01:07:02.000 For no reason.
01:07:03.000 Yelling at a cop out of the blue.
01:07:05.000 Last thing on my fucking mind.
01:07:08.000 Uh, go back to the, uh, previous arrest though.
01:07:11.000 And check out tired guy before they found plant man.
01:07:14.000 No, no, not that far at all.
01:07:18.000 I need to know right now.
01:07:18.000 Yeah.
01:07:18.000 That guy.
01:07:21.000 Roll over.
01:07:22.000 No, get before they arrest him.
01:07:24.000 Watch how fast he's running.
01:07:27.000 I just barfed.
01:07:30.000 Yeah, there it is.
01:07:31.000 A little bit before that.
01:07:45.000 And we might get into a gunfight right here.
01:07:46.000 I have no idea how fast he hit me, but he locked the brakes up real good.
01:07:50.000 Totaled the spot.
01:07:51.000 Yeah, he rear-ended the cop car.
01:07:52.000 The driver was later identified as 20-year-old Amarion Graham and the passenger as 22-year-old Anthony Bland.
01:07:58.000 A deputy searched the surrounding area and noticed Anthony running through a parking lot.
01:08:02.000 Amarion.
01:08:04.000 Even in Wisconsin, they have stupid names.
01:08:07.000 You can take them out of the hood.
01:08:09.000 There we go.
01:08:10.000 There we go.
01:08:11.000 Watch him run.
01:08:12.000 You'll never catch me.
01:08:16.000 Are you fucking kidding me?
01:08:17.000 He's not much of an athlete.
01:08:19.000 Wait, we gotta see that again.
01:08:21.000 Look at that velocity.
01:08:22.000 We're gonna have to get the dogs.
01:08:24.000 We're gonna have to get the cheetahs on this guy.
01:08:27.000 Police cheetah.
01:08:30.000 Alright, I'm out of here.
01:08:33.000 He even starts walking!
01:08:36.000 At that point you just stop.
01:08:38.000 Yeah, it's over.
01:08:39.000 I don't understand.
01:08:41.000 Are we gonna walk chase you?
01:08:47.000 Yeah.
01:08:52.000 I think they're on opioids.
01:08:55.000 Could be.
01:08:57.000 Uh, I am.
01:08:59.000 Is he taking a nap now?
01:09:03.000 Yeah, this is Oxy for sure.
01:09:07.000 Look, he's in a sleepover.
01:09:17.000 Or I got leaves on my pants.
01:09:19.000 Now if you jump forward a bit, you can see him in the car, and he keeps talking about how tired he is.
01:09:28.000 It's like, I want to give him Narcan.
01:09:42.000 That should become police procedure.
01:09:44.000 If someone's acting drowsy, you Narcan them.
01:09:48.000 There's no bad thing that can happen if you're not on opioids and you get Narcan'd, right?
01:09:53.000 So why not just fucking Narcan it up?
01:09:57.000 The squad got smoked.
01:10:00.000 He went up the ramp, he said, I just got hit.
01:10:01.000 Is anyone- is he good?
01:10:04.000 What are you doing, man?
01:10:11.000 Dude, you gotta sit up for me, okay?
01:10:14.000 I gotta make sure you're awake.
01:10:16.000 Can you sit up?
01:10:18.000 I need you to sit up.
01:10:19.000 The ambulance is gonna be here in a minute to check you out, okay?
01:10:22.000 It's almost here.
01:10:23.000 Where are you hurting?
01:10:25.000 Is that Brittany Griner?
01:10:27.000 That's Ziggy Molly.
01:10:28.000 You gonna tell me who was driving?
01:10:37.000 I don't know.
01:10:38.000 I was tired.
01:10:38.000 I told him I was supposed to do a favor.
01:10:41.000 And I went to sleep.
01:10:43.000 I got real tired.
01:10:45.000 You know who was driving the car?
01:10:46.000 Yeah.
01:10:47.000 Always.
01:10:47.000 You're just in the car with a random person and you don't know his name?
01:10:50.000 I did a favor for somebody.
01:10:52.000 What does that mean?
01:10:53.000 What was the favor?
01:10:54.000 I was supposed to throw him somewhere.
01:10:56.000 What?
01:10:57.000 I was supposed to drove him somewhere.
01:10:58.000 I was supposed to drove him somewhere.
01:11:02.000 That's not the proper conjugation of drive.
01:11:04.000 Sir, I love- Sir, big fan of Tales from the Crypt, but you have to cooperate, sir.
01:11:19.000 So cops and criminals both agree, don't speak to the police.
01:11:23.000 Not a fucking word.
01:11:23.000 Give them your pedigree information and have at it.
01:11:28.000 Well when you're making spontaneous utterances like that, they could be used against you in a court of law.
01:11:36.000 I self-surrendered, and my older brother brought me up.
01:11:40.000 I called my older brother and said, hey, call the ATF guy and tell him to stop going to my mother's house.
01:11:44.000 I'll let you... I'll come with you Monday, and he surrendered me in.
01:11:49.000 And I had a buddy with me, and I remember before I went in, the ATF agent came out, and I said, hey, just let so-and-so know it's about Virginia.
01:11:58.000 Everything was written down in the fucking report for the court, like five minutes later.
01:12:03.000 So don't say anything.
01:12:05.000 Well, you know when you're dealing with these skulls on the side of the road, the guys that have been arrested five, six, whatever times before, you know.
01:12:12.000 You already know, based on their responses, who you're dealing with.
01:12:18.000 You know, uh, the Memphis thing, a cop was saying to me, he knew a shell cop, said, you gotta understand how much black thugs fucking hate cops, black cops.
01:12:30.000 They call them Coons, they call them Uncle Toms, and you gotta understand how much black cops hate fucking Skells.
01:12:38.000 They ruin the black community, they're a pain in the ass, they give everyone a bad name.
01:12:43.000 So those Clash of the Titans, say they're not vice lords, that Clash of the Titans is like two groups that fucking despise each other.
01:12:51.000 That's true.
01:12:53.000 I met a black cop who hates cops.
01:12:57.000 That's weird.
01:12:58.000 I think they get brainwashed by their family and they're just like, fuck this.
01:13:02.000 I believe you.
01:13:02.000 They are.
01:13:03.000 All cops or white cops?
01:13:05.000 Well, I said to him, I go, um, uh, he was like, uh, he worked with my wife or something, sort of same circle.
01:13:12.000 And I said, Oh, I'm a cop guy.
01:13:14.000 Let's grab a beer and, uh, and rap.
01:13:17.000 And he goes, uh, I don't drink beer and I don't like cops.
01:13:22.000 And I was like, alrighty, well I guess that's the end of our budding friendship.
01:13:27.000 Sounds like just a guy who hates his co-workers.
01:13:29.000 He's probably just a fucking asshole.
01:13:31.000 He's probably a zero at work too.
01:13:33.000 Yeah.
01:13:34.000 Yeah.
01:13:35.000 He's entitled.
01:13:36.000 Yeah.
01:13:37.000 Can't do anything.
01:13:38.000 You know what it probably is?
01:13:40.000 And I have a few clues to this because I met a guy who's at the same department as him.
01:13:44.000 He's in Yonkers.
01:13:46.000 I think he gets teased a lot.
01:13:47.000 He gets his balls busted.
01:13:48.000 And he's one of those dudes that doesn't do well with ball busting.
01:13:53.000 Cops are vicious bull breakers.
01:13:55.000 Yeah, you got a thick skin.
01:13:57.000 Oh, forget about it.
01:13:58.000 That's the whole game, right?
01:14:00.000 Yes.
01:14:01.000 I heard about this dude who, he pulled his firearm because a squirrel jumped out at him when he was doing a check on some old lady.
01:14:09.000 And he became squirrel for the rest of his life.
01:14:13.000 His locker would have squirrels all over it.
01:14:15.000 They'd have taxidermy squirrels on his desk.
01:14:18.000 Like, that was the end of him.
01:14:20.000 He was the squirrel man.
01:14:22.000 They're ruthless.
01:14:23.000 Yeah, I would be a little nervous if I was on the other end of a call with that guy.
01:14:28.000 Put your gun out for a squirrel?
01:14:29.000 Yeah.
01:14:30.000 That's kind of scary.
01:14:31.000 Did you guys ever get teased for being fags?
01:14:35.000 No.
01:14:39.000 Well, I'll tell you in the, well, in our station, you know, it was all about having fun.
01:14:43.000 We would spray each other more than we'd spray the, you know, the bad guys.
01:14:47.000 Just fucking around.
01:14:48.000 You're leaving the station for the night.
01:14:50.000 Later, guys.
01:14:51.000 Touch one off.
01:14:54.000 That's good old-fashioned fun.
01:14:55.000 And I think that that stuff getting monitored and punished leads to cop suicide.
01:15:04.000 Because if you can't let off steam, and you can't have fun, it becomes a pressure cooker, and now it just pops somewhere else.
01:15:13.000 You gotta be able to spray your friends.
01:15:15.000 We used to have a guy who used to leave his locker combination on one particular number, and we knew if we just fuckin' moved it a millimeter, he'd fuckin' lose his mind, think somebody was at his locker.
01:15:26.000 Very OCD.
01:15:26.000 Wow.
01:15:27.000 Yeah.
01:15:28.000 It was great.
01:15:29.000 That's all you had to do.
01:15:31.000 I knew this dude, Willie McAloon.
01:15:33.000 He told me that when someone jumps in front of a train, no one cleans that up.
01:15:40.000 The cops have to eventually pick it up and put it in bags.
01:15:43.000 So he picks up this guy's head, and it's just like... And he goes, holy shit, it really does feel like a bowling ball!
01:15:50.000 It really is the same weight!
01:15:53.000 Now if you take away that joke from that guy, I don't know.
01:15:56.000 He has nightmares about the fucking head he picked up.
01:15:59.000 What are you supposed to do?
01:16:00.000 Pick up a human head and put it in a bag and be like, sorry everyone, I suck.
01:16:07.000 Well, they call it dark humor.
01:16:08.000 It helps you get through it.
01:16:09.000 Yeah.
01:16:10.000 All right.
01:16:11.000 Let's let's go over to some calls and some mail.
01:16:13.000 But before we do, let's say a brief hello to BeardVet.
01:16:17.000 BeardVet.com is an American veteran owned beard grooming products and coffee company.
01:16:22.000 Let's not kid ourselves over here.
01:16:23.000 At this point, we all know who BeardVet is.
01:16:25.000 It's a veteran owned American made company that has beard grooming products and coffee products.
01:16:32.000 And as I've always said,
01:16:33.000 If you're going to buy coffee, which you are, why wouldn't you buy it from someone on our side?
01:16:38.000 Someone who supports the American way.
01:16:40.000 Someone who supports free speech.
01:16:42.000 Why risk giving your money to someone who's not on the side of Western civilization?
01:16:49.000 Who's not a patriotic American?
01:16:51.000 It's a no-brainer.
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01:17:45.000 Uh, let's open the phone lines, and also, Ryan, play that song about your dad not being around.
01:17:51.000 Actually, we're playing the thanks for calling one this today.
01:17:55.000 Remember?
01:17:56.000 Oh, so your dad is around.
01:17:57.000 No, uh, he's also not.
01:17:59.000 But it doesn't mention that.
01:18:00.000 Well, in the same country.
01:18:01.000 That's true.
01:18:02.000 You know, it's possible that your dad abandoned you because he's lazy.
01:18:26.000 And he just didn't want to deal with the kid?
01:18:27.000 No, he's not the Puerto Rican one.
01:18:28.000 My mom was Puerto Rican.
01:18:29.000 But it's possible he's just very prescient and could even tell just by looking at a one-year-old that this kid's gonna be annoying.
01:18:37.000 You assume that he was around for one year?
01:18:41.000 What does he think now when he sees your hair with him being such a high-end hairdresser?
01:18:45.000 He thinks it's a pretty cue.
01:18:47.000 Oh.
01:18:51.000 Can't he fix it?
01:18:53.000 I asked him once.
01:18:54.000 I think I told you this.
01:18:55.000 And I put my hair back.
01:18:56.000 I was like, Dad, do you think my hair looks better back or forward?
01:18:59.000 He's like, oh, I don't care.
01:19:03.000 He's like, no dad, dad, you're a fucking celebrity stylist to the stars.
01:19:07.000 He's literally, you know, that's his job is to care about hair.
01:19:10.000 He's like, yeah, I care about other people's hair.
01:19:14.000 He's like, Ryan, I charge $200 an hour.
01:19:18.000 I care about people's hair when it could help me, but who are you?
01:19:21.000 You're going to pay my fee?
01:19:22.000 You're not going to pay.
01:19:23.000 It's not really the hair, it's like what's underneath.
01:19:28.000 Where your hair comes from, the roots are rotten.
01:19:32.000 Nothing wrong with that.
01:19:34.000 The soil is the problem.
01:19:36.000 I think Japanese people are just chinks at the end of the day.
01:19:42.000 They're just cool chinks.
01:19:43.000 No.
01:19:44.000 There's so much that separates them.
01:19:45.000 They both have no feelings.
01:19:47.000 Think about the way... Like a Chinese person would be, oh I don't care.
01:19:49.000 No.
01:19:50.000 Japanese person, oh I don't care.
01:19:52.000 No, no, no.
01:19:52.000 Same lack of care.
01:19:53.000 They have fun, and they're fun people.
01:19:55.000 I mean, I don't love Japanese people and Japanese culture like a lot of weeaboos do, but I can acknowledge that they're better than Chinese people.
01:20:04.000 They wash their vegetables.
01:20:05.000 Like, look at sushi versus look at duck soup with duck foot ching chong.
01:20:12.000 Oh!
01:20:13.000 Ooh.
01:20:14.000 Wow, Asian hair from an Asian.
01:20:17.000 Hey look, I'm Chinese.
01:20:18.000 You think they should be thrown down the stairs at the subway in New York too?
01:20:22.000 I'm a China!
01:20:25.000 Get out of here.
01:20:26.000 I got to agree.
01:20:28.000 My other job, Neil and I work at, we receive calls from all over the world, and from Japan they're fine, from China they are fucking retards.
01:20:37.000 Well, from China, they're like, hey, we'd like to order some guard dogs.
01:20:41.000 And you go, okay, what do you want?
01:20:42.000 Doberman Pinschers?
01:20:43.000 German Shepherds?
01:20:45.000 Which is the plumpest?
01:20:47.000 What's the fattest guard dog you have?
01:20:50.000 Well, they're all pretty big.
01:20:51.000 I mean, they're muscular.
01:20:52.000 Yeah, what's biggest?
01:20:53.000 What's the most fat, most plump guard dog you have?
01:20:57.000 We're eating tonight!
01:20:59.000 We have a wedding coming up.
01:21:01.000 Can we get five German shepherds and start stuffing them right now with all kinds of rice and butter?
01:21:07.000 That's crazy.
01:21:08.000 Canine Ragoon.
01:21:09.000 It's Rangoon.
01:21:11.000 Yeah, like I guess they don't eat dogs in Japan, right?
01:21:13.000 No, hell no.
01:21:14.000 No, I said like, uh, Vietnam and shit.
01:21:16.000 They'll eat like a fucking clam.
01:21:18.000 China too?
01:21:19.000 Don't chew on a clam shell, but... That's a good assignment.
01:21:22.000 Ordering all the Asians in order of best to worst.
01:21:25.000 I would say Korean, Japanese, Chinese, and then the other island weird ones.
01:21:28.000 You like Koreans better than Japanese?
01:21:29.000 No, but they're more Western.
01:21:31.000 They're definitely...
01:21:33.000 That doesn't mean they're better.
01:21:35.000 Because of the American occupation?
01:21:37.000 And they weren't bombed so they don't have that weird hang-up of being bombed or something?
01:21:40.000 Godzilla movies?
01:21:42.000 Those are cool.
01:21:43.000 Even the hang-up is cool.
01:21:45.000 They weren't ever nuclear.
01:21:48.000 When you think of driving around Tokyo, there's all the cool signs.
01:21:51.000 It's like Blade Runner.
01:21:53.000 Just because you're more American doesn't mean you're better.
01:21:56.000 But I feel like they're Japanese people are a little more sexless and odd with their sex stuff.
01:22:04.000 They hide it.
01:22:05.000 It's shameful.
01:22:06.000 I feel like they're less social.
01:22:07.000 You can just say the word sexuality if you want.
01:22:09.000 I feel like they're less sex stuff.
01:22:10.000 Monography is practically legal in Japan.
01:22:12.000 Right.
01:22:13.000 Like fucking child porn is fucking rampant over there.
01:22:15.000 Yeah, they're weird, man.
01:22:16.000 Like, I don't think they have little puppies.
01:22:18.000 They're not as good with social... You know why?
01:22:20.000 It's because they suppress their sexuality.
01:22:23.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:22:24.000 That's what I hear.
01:22:24.000 And they drink a lot.
01:22:25.000 And I have good nannies.
01:22:27.000 Filipinos.
01:22:28.000 They bring them in.
01:22:28.000 A lot of ladyboys.
01:22:30.000 Why do you guys get your nannies from the Philippines?
01:22:32.000 Ladyboys is like Thai in Southeast Asia.
01:22:34.000 You don't really get ladyboys in Tokyo.
01:22:37.000 Thailand.
01:22:39.000 Right.
01:22:39.000 No, we're ordering all the Asians though.
01:22:41.000 I'm, I will argue with you, but I'm open, I might be wrong, but I would go Japanese, Korean, uh, I'm going to put China last.
01:22:52.000 Actually, my best friend married a Japanese girl.
01:22:55.000 I'd have to put the Japanese
01:23:04.000 What's that top screen for, Ryan?
01:23:06.000 That's for when we put a little movie or a little video and we could watch it together.
01:23:14.000 Yeah, I don't know about these angles that you're so into.
01:23:16.000 What are you talking about?
01:23:18.000 You don't like my angles?
01:23:19.000 I like 90 degrees.
01:23:20.000 The bend?
01:23:21.000 You know who likes angles?
01:23:23.000 Chicks.
01:23:24.000 Well, it's just it gets more of you on the screen.
01:23:26.000 And here's my case in point.
01:23:27.000 Hold on one second.
01:23:30.000 Okay, look at this.
01:23:31.000 Okay, so this is you guys, right?
01:23:32.000 Now look at this.
01:23:33.000 Oh, that's cool.
01:23:34.000 No, it's not.
01:23:36.000 It's not.
01:23:37.000 No, that guys, guys, that's cool.
01:23:39.000 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:23:41.000 That's nice job.
01:23:42.000 I'm wrong.
01:23:42.000 You read your lips.
01:23:43.000 There we go.
01:23:44.000 See this one more than this one.
01:23:48.000 See, this one gives you less.
01:23:50.000 You what?
01:23:52.000 1%?
01:23:52.000 What?
01:23:52.000 Yeah, no, it's a go to the other one.
01:23:55.000 Look how flat it go to the one with the angles.
01:23:58.000 Okay.
01:23:59.000 Why don't you put all five of us?
01:24:02.000 You take up more of the screen.
01:24:03.000 It's a 1% difference.
01:24:06.000 Chicks like angles.
01:24:07.000 Boys don't like angles.
01:24:11.000 Anyway, that's a difference.
01:24:13.000 Did you put up the line for calls?
01:24:13.000 All right.
01:24:15.000 Oh, here's, let me just take the first letter.
01:24:18.000 So everyone's talking about chat, GPT, uh, AI.
01:24:23.000 It's just come out that, uh, so artificial intelligence, it can do, it can, it can, we, we played a thing yesterday where Tucker Carlson was like, it's time to go full nigger warfare on these assholes.
01:24:35.000 Let's bring up guns, go to the hood and kill everyone.
01:24:38.000 And it sounds exactly like Tucker Carlson.
01:24:40.000 We have Joe Biden talking about how trannies are not women and stop just give up when we find your bones it's gonna be obvious you're a man but they can do songs and shit now so they check out go to AI resurrected Biggie and Tupac at the 27 Club and and then click on Jimi Hendrix
01:25:03.000 Say what?
01:25:04.000 Okay.
01:25:04.000 Wait, wait.
01:25:05.000 It's uh, an email?
01:25:06.000 Wait, what are you doing?
01:25:07.000 Working on your dumb fucking 45 degree angle shit?
01:25:10.000 No, I got the calls being set up here.
01:25:11.000 Oh.
01:25:12.000 AI resurrected Biggie and Tupac at the 27 Club.
01:25:16.000 Is the name of the email.
01:25:19.000 AI is spelled A-I.
01:25:25.000 Um, but they did it.
01:25:27.000 They did a movie about Jimi Hendrix and they weren't allowed to use any of his songs.
01:25:31.000 They could have used AI to make these songs.
01:25:34.000 Amen.
01:25:36.000 What is taking you so effing long?
01:25:39.000 I'm doing two things.
01:25:40.000 We'll do one thing.
01:25:41.000 I gotta take a piss, bro.
01:25:44.000 Don't worry about the calls until we find this.
01:25:50.000 Holy AIDS.
01:25:54.000 Okay, Resurrect and Jimi Hendrix ones.
01:25:58.000 So you weren't looking for that.
01:25:59.000 Okay, so no.
01:26:01.000 Go to the Jimi Hendrix one.
01:26:02.000 Is that it?
01:26:03.000 Yeah.
01:26:03.000 Okay, check this out.
01:26:04.000 This is AI doing Jimi Hendrix.
01:26:17.000 Ready to connect.
01:26:22.000 Click connect.
01:26:27.000 Oh baby, why'd you fall like that?
01:26:30.000 Or do Nirvana?
01:26:31.000 It's coming.
01:26:58.000 How do they produce?
01:26:59.000 That's crazy.
01:27:14.000 And then go back up to Biggie and Tupac, head held high.
01:27:21.000 Drop it in the middle somewhere.
01:27:24.000 None of these songs exist for the record.
01:27:26.000 I could do that.
01:27:27.000 Oh, he rhymes, too.
01:27:28.000 This is kind of like, uh, dark.
01:27:30.000 So... But if that doesn't make any sense, I can't really... No, nothing makes any sense.
01:27:34.000 Uh, but...
01:27:50.000 It was kind of cool when it first came out we go oh cool like we can make people say things you can ask your questions you can do a groomsman speech and and then you can say make it funnier and it'll give you a funny speech but now we're discovering that the people involved are woke so chat GPT AI
01:28:08.000 is left wing.
01:28:10.000 So if you type in, uh, write me a poem about how awesome Trump is, it will say, I'm not political.
01:28:17.000 I don't get involved in those kinds of things.
01:28:19.000 I'm a computer.
01:28:20.000 We don't do that kind of thing.
01:28:22.000 And then you'd say, write me a poem about how awesome Joe Biden is.
01:28:25.000 And it will say, Joe Biden, the leader of the people.
01:28:28.000 He's number one in my books.
01:28:30.000 He's a totally great cook too.
01:28:32.000 Yeah, he rocks.
01:28:34.000 Oh God.
01:28:35.000 So the way this stuff was developed was it kept learning and making things, but then when it noticed it was getting racist, when they noticed it was getting racist, like it did a thing where it looked at a billion pictures of perps and then you'd show it a picture and it said, do you think this person's a perp?
01:28:51.000 And it would say, yeah, probably, it's black.
01:28:53.000 So they go, uh oh, AI's getting racist.
01:28:55.000 So then they hired all these fat trannies to come in and they would start changing the results.
01:28:59.000 And these things go by upvotes.
01:29:02.000 So when something that is seemingly racist, like I like Trump, happens, they downvote it and eventually they change the brain.
01:29:11.000 Of AI.
01:29:12.000 So, we're in the Terminator, we're in the Matrix, and the woke Marxist mob has gotten into the computer and turned it to the left.
01:29:22.000 Paul Joseph Watson had a great video about this.
01:29:24.000 I was promoting it on Getter.
01:29:27.000 And I saw Cernovich today, he goes, just when we were starting to build bridges, you know, they finally got over Trump and we were like, I think I might trust you again.
01:29:36.000 Uh, we all agree Biden sucks.
01:29:38.000 Just when we were starting to get along, you infiltrated our society with these supercomputers that are Marxist cunts.
01:29:47.000 So fuck you.
01:29:48.000 All bets are off.
01:29:49.000 This is war.
01:29:52.000 Go to a AI generated Trump voice.
01:29:56.000 That's a pretty good one.
01:29:57.000 I'm impressed.
01:29:58.000 I'm not so impressed with the fact that it can do an imitation of someone, but I'm impressed that it gets the pauses right in between sentences.
01:30:08.000 Right.
01:30:10.000 The social cues.
01:30:11.000 Yeah.
01:30:12.000 Epstein's place was great.
01:30:13.000 I mean, let's not act like faggots here.
01:30:15.000 Everyone loves young pussy.
01:30:17.000 So the guy has this island.
01:30:18.000 It's genius, really.
01:30:20.000 He'd fly us out there about three times a year.
01:30:22.000 There would be these little parties and the girls and the coke, and then you fuck, right?
01:30:26.000 Clinton used to like to fuck these girls on the pool table in front of everyone.
01:30:30.000 It was so funny to see him and his little dick.
01:30:32.000 He thought he had a big dick, but Christ, it looked like a little slug there as he was chasing these bitches around the pool.
01:30:38.000 These stupid cunts, these teenage whores Jeffrey would enslave were some of the best little cocksuckers I've ever encountered.
01:30:44.000 It's true.
01:30:45.000 I went to the island 30, maybe 40 times over the years.
01:30:48.000 Jeffrey had this little ceremony he'd like to do where he'd buy a girl from Colombia or one of those shithole countries.
01:30:54.000 The only thing, if you listen to it for a while, you catch like a monotone, there's no inflection in the voice.
01:30:58.000 Yeah, he wasn't a monotone guy.
01:30:59.000 She wasn't going home afterwards.
01:31:01.000 Some of the guys would get pretty rough with her, you know, cigarette burns, throw her through a plate glass window, you know, stuff like that.
01:31:01.000 Frankly!
01:31:08.000 So after we were done with her, Jeffrey would sacrifice her to some dark lord or something, I don't know.
01:31:13.000 I was always too high on heroin to pay much attention, but at any rate, we would barbecue this bitch at the end of the party, and we'd all take a bite, you know, a little taste of her flesh.
01:31:23.000 Makes me rock hard to this day to think about it, really.
01:31:26.000 That's terrible!
01:31:29.000 Oh, man!
01:31:30.000 Oh, for fuck's sakes!
01:31:32.000 Alright, have we got any calls?
01:31:35.000 We do.
01:31:36.000 We do.
01:31:37.000 You seem stressed out.
01:31:38.000 Are you overwhelmed?
01:31:39.000 I'm me.
01:31:39.000 I'm me.
01:31:40.000 You're me.
01:31:41.000 We got Bernard.
01:31:42.000 Hello, Bernard.
01:31:44.000 Hey, Baynard.
01:31:48.000 Listen, I gotta say, the cop talk jingle sucks.
01:31:54.000 What?
01:31:55.000 Really?
01:31:56.000 Play it, Ryan.
01:31:58.000 You're doing a disservice to these police officers.
01:32:03.000 Well, that's not good.
01:32:04.000 Well, let's see if they like it.
01:32:05.000 They served our city and our state for 20 years plus.
01:32:09.000 Sounds like a rockin' jam.
01:32:21.000 Is that Ryan singing that shit?
01:32:22.000 No, it's me!
01:32:23.000 Oh, it's you?
01:32:28.000 I have the lyrics memorized.
01:32:31.000 Oh.
01:32:32.000 Okay, do a better job then.
01:32:34.000 Who wrote the final video song?
01:32:37.000 Me, me, me, me.
01:32:37.000 I don't know.
01:32:40.000 Talk, talk.
01:32:40.000 What was that?
01:32:43.000 Only brutal honesty.
01:32:46.000 Talk, talk.
01:32:48.000 That's Jim Godes theme.
01:32:50.000 Hardballs, yeah, yeah.
01:32:50.000 Hardballs.
01:32:51.000 Oh, that was great.
01:32:52.000 Thanks for calling.
01:32:53.000 Next.
01:32:56.000 Let's see.
01:32:59.000 206, you're on the line.
01:33:02.000 Hey, Gavin, Uhuru.
01:33:03.000 Uhuru.
01:33:05.000 Hey, so I know that in the past you've gone on record as saying that you don't like shoegaze.
01:33:09.000 You think that that kind of sucks as a genre of music.
01:33:13.000 Shoegaze, yeah, like the indie rock sort of looking down stuff.
01:33:16.000 Yeah, homos that are into footwear, yeah.
01:33:17.000 Yeah, so you don't like shoegaze.
01:33:18.000 Ryan, can you look up a song called Jealous by iDress?
01:33:22.000 I really think it'll change your mind, Gavin.
01:33:24.000 Okay, did you get a burner phone from the hood?
01:33:27.000 What is going on with the sound here?
01:33:30.000 Oh, no, I got an ice machine running in the back.
01:33:33.000 It sounds terrible.
01:33:34.000 What do we got to look up?
01:33:36.000 Jealous by iDress.
01:33:39.000 Okay, we'll look up Jealous by iDress.
01:33:41.000 This better be good.
01:33:42.000 But I iDress.
01:33:43.000 Hey, thanks for calling.
01:33:45.000 Alright, thanks for calling.
01:33:52.000 It's Devo!
01:33:52.000 I like that.
01:33:54.000 Whip it!
01:33:55.000 Wait, I feel like we've featured this band before.
01:33:57.000 Yeah, iDress, that sounds very familiar.
01:34:04.000 Yeah.
01:34:05.000 It's a repeated Devo band.
01:34:09.000 We've featured this band before.
01:34:11.000 They were one of the opening songs.
01:34:12.000 Did they start at CBGB's in Manhattan?
01:34:17.000 Did Devo start at CBGB's?
01:34:19.000 Sure.
01:34:22.000 Aren't they from like the Midwest?
01:34:24.000 Know your history.
01:34:26.000 I'm fucked.
01:34:28.000 I think they were fired at CBGB's.
01:34:31.000 Where did Devo start?
01:34:37.000 Yeah, Kent, Ohio, thank you very much.
01:34:40.000 Then they came to New York and they played Insanely Jeebies!
01:34:44.000 Alright, thanks dude, we already covered that ancient Chinese secret.
01:34:47.000 Literally.
01:34:48.000 I searched our emails, I don't see that.
01:34:52.000 But that doesn't mean that we didn't just last minute... I don't mean shit.
01:34:55.000 Well... We have... 6, 7, 8.
01:34:57.000 What is it?
01:34:58.000 9, 8, 10, 11, 12?
01:34:59.000 Uhuru!
01:35:00.000 Uhuru?
01:35:09.000 Hey, I'm a proud butt boy, reporting in here.
01:35:14.000 Okay, thank you for your service.
01:35:16.000 I've got a hill I'd like to die on, and it's in the same vein as a butt boy.
01:35:22.000 It's people who go the wrong way down a one-way parking lot.
01:35:27.000 It drives me absolutely insane, and I will sit and park in the middle of that one-way road until they back up out of that road.
01:35:37.000 It drives me crazy.
01:35:39.000 What do you guys think about that?
01:35:41.000 Well, if it's a relatively abandoned parking lot, is that still an issue?
01:35:47.000 No, it's usually when it's like full and you're trying to find a spot and they're trying to sneak in to get one.
01:35:52.000 Yeah.
01:35:52.000 Yeah.
01:35:52.000 All right.
01:35:53.000 Well, thank you for your service.
01:35:54.000 Especially when the parking stalls are slanted 45 degrees.
01:35:57.000 What's that supposed to mean?
01:35:59.000 And they're coming the wrong, you know, they're slanted this way.
01:36:02.000 So you're supposed to drive.
01:36:03.000 Tim, Tim.
01:36:04.000 What?
01:36:05.000 Too loud?
01:36:06.000 No.
01:36:07.000 He's gone.
01:36:08.000 Oh.
01:36:09.000 You know what sucks?
01:36:10.000 No, no, no.
01:36:11.000 Guys, guys.
01:36:12.000 Yes?
01:36:13.000 What do you keep saying?
01:36:15.000 Huh?
01:36:16.000 Slanted.
01:36:17.000 Oh, Ryan.
01:36:18.000 Oh, Ryan, sorry.
01:36:20.000 Sorry, my slanted friend.
01:36:21.000 No, but anyway.
01:36:22.000 Ryan, he was talking about parking spots.
01:36:23.000 He didn't know what the fuck he was saying.
01:36:26.000 I think I heard him say slanted-eyed gook.
01:36:29.000 I'm headed down to Florida next week.
01:36:32.000 They actually enforced that bullshit law at 7-Eleven, where there's the In-N-Out.
01:36:38.000 And the sheriffs, they wait there till after 12 o'clock.
01:36:41.000 And if you're going in the In-N-Out... I'm all for it.
01:36:44.000 Yeah, but they're just looking for a way to pull you over to give you a dewey.
01:36:49.000 We're living in a society.
01:36:51.000 Yes.
01:36:52.000 It's a society!
01:36:54.000 Of rules and regulations.
01:36:55.000 No, seriously, it's bullshit.
01:36:56.000 Yeah.
01:36:57.000 Well, I like the one way.
01:36:58.000 I agree with you for once.
01:36:59.000 I agree with the caller.
01:37:01.000 That drives me insane.
01:37:03.000 How do you feel, John, if you're such an anarchist, about people on a plane who are, say, in row 23, getting up as the plane stops and the seatbelt light comes off, they grab their shit, and now they run up and they're behind someone who's in row 19.
01:37:19.000 And the people in 21 are like, what the fuck?
01:37:22.000 What is this?
01:37:24.000 It's just jerk-offs.
01:37:26.000 Okay, good.
01:37:28.000 He's a bad boy.
01:37:29.000 How do you feel about people who recline and coach on a day trip to, say, Detroit that's only three hours?
01:37:36.000 That's a great question.
01:37:37.000 You know why?
01:37:38.000 Because they're in comfortable chairs.
01:37:41.000 Unlike the chairs that we're sitting in tonight.
01:37:45.000 Well, you're plus size, so you're... He's very comfortable over here.
01:37:50.000 I'm comfortable.
01:37:50.000 I had an old black lady squat me in the head once for that.
01:37:53.000 Oh, yeah.
01:37:54.000 Too long.
01:37:55.000 You know what else is annoying too?
01:37:56.000 These people that at dawn, they keep their lights off on the cars.
01:38:04.000 The eagles are better than the eagles.
01:38:08.000 And I'm obsessed with this now, but I'm driving around, even driving here tonight, I would say I click my brights six times a night.
01:38:18.000 And I must be wrong.
01:38:19.000 There can't be that many people driving with their brights on.
01:38:22.000 It's the LEDs.
01:38:23.000 But I'm getting fucking my eyes burnt off.
01:38:25.000 Yeah.
01:38:26.000 So I want to have, there must be an app on your phone where you can hold it out and measure the brightness.
01:38:31.000 Tell you how many lux.
01:38:33.000 And I thought, the cops, the cops can never stop this.
01:38:36.000 Because what are the cops going to do?
01:38:37.000 Pull you over and go, did you have your brights on?
01:38:40.000 No.
01:38:41.000 Yeah, you can get pulled over for that.
01:38:42.000 Yeah, but how do you prove it?
01:38:44.000 I witnessed you do it.
01:38:45.000 When you, when you bright them, do they bright you back?
01:38:48.000 No, it's, it's, I'm in the suburbs, so it's not like we're on a long freeway and I can communicate.
01:38:53.000 I'm just like going by and I'm like, click, click, fuck you.
01:38:56.000 Click, click, fuck you.
01:38:57.000 Click, click, fuck you.
01:38:58.000 Yeah, it's fucking bad.
01:39:01.000 I haven't known to do that once or twice myself.
01:39:05.000 It's these fucking, these 2023s, these 2022s, they're fucking Mercedes.
01:39:10.000 They got these fucking bright lights.
01:39:12.000 They look like there's fucking a tank coming at you.
01:39:14.000 Oh, okay, so you're not a brighter.
01:39:16.000 No.
01:39:16.000 You flash people.
01:39:17.000 Oh, Jesus, John.
01:39:18.000 You just gave me a heart attack.
01:39:19.000 I thought you meant, sometimes I drive around at night, I put my brights on.
01:39:22.000 I don't know, I want to see.
01:39:23.000 That's not you, thank God.
01:39:28.000 Yeah, I think there's illegal immigrants, too.
01:39:30.000 I think you talked about that.
01:39:31.000 Trust me, I'm still living in the hood.
01:39:33.000 They don't even know.
01:39:34.000 They don't even know the etiquette.
01:39:35.000 Some of them don't care.
01:39:36.000 Well, I notice illegals, they ride their bikes and their e-bikes and their whatever bikes on the sidewalk, and it's not because they're assholes.
01:39:44.000 They don't realize that bikes go on the fucking road.
01:39:48.000 No one told them.
01:39:50.000 The LBDs?
01:39:51.000 I'm still down in the Bronx where it's totally fucking lawless.
01:39:54.000 Yeah.
01:39:54.000 Oh, dude.
01:39:55.000 Nobody gives a shit about anything.
01:39:58.000 Temporary plates.
01:39:59.000 Motorcyclists don't wear helmets in the Bronx.
01:40:01.000 No.
01:40:02.000 It's Costa Rica over there.
01:40:04.000 Yeah.
01:40:05.000 Absolutely.
01:40:06.000 Over there.
01:40:06.000 Over here.
01:40:07.000 It's anarchy.
01:40:10.000 Oh, uh, my wife said you watch Reels, right?
01:40:13.000 Instagram Reels.
01:40:14.000 Yeah.
01:40:14.000 That song is all over TikTok and the Reels now these days.
01:40:18.000 Maybe that's where you've heard it.
01:40:19.000 Okay.
01:40:19.000 It's like number one rock and roll.
01:40:22.000 Uh, this guy, uh, 702, he's on the loo.
01:40:26.000 702, we're with you.
01:40:28.000 Just, uh, just, just calling about the fucking, uh, the bright issue.
01:40:33.000 I'm from Vegas.
01:40:34.000 I've lived here my entire life.
01:40:36.000 The past probably two years, the amount of people driving with their brights on,
01:40:41.000 Whether they know it or not has gone up like...
01:40:44.000 An insane amount.
01:40:44.000 I don't know what, how... Okay, we need, we need an investigative team on this.
01:40:48.000 We need journalists, like, I'm so sick of journalists investigating white nationalism.
01:40:52.000 Investigate the high beams.
01:40:55.000 It's cause there's a whole bunch of different explanations.
01:40:57.000 Some say people go to get their headlights replaced and they go, holy shit, it's 200 bucks.
01:41:01.000 Well, yeah, but there are these LEDs that are like 50 bucks.
01:41:05.000 So they're getting these LEDs that aren't really, uh, to code, but they're fucking blinding.
01:41:11.000 Yeah.
01:41:13.000 That might be like 10% of them, but it's got to be like a majority of people just don't give a shit.
01:41:20.000 They just know they're on and they just want to see, like you said, and they just leave them on because they don't care.
01:41:25.000 So you're from Vegas.
01:41:26.000 You're not too far, like four hours from LA.
01:41:29.000 Remember that back in the day?
01:41:31.000 Gangsters used to fucking ride with their headlights off and if somebody hit them with their brights That's a challenge, right?
01:41:37.000 They'd come around and they'd fucking, they'd shoot them.
01:41:39.000 Initiation.
01:41:40.000 Initiation.
01:41:41.000 Have you ever heard of that in Vegas?
01:41:45.000 Not out here, but I've definitely flashed a couple people.
01:41:48.000 I don't really anymore because it ends up They end up following you to wherever the fuck you're going.
01:41:54.000 Yeah, I've heard of that.
01:41:54.000 And it's not, not worth it because you know there's huge highways, four-lane highways, whatever, but they'll have their
01:42:00.000 Wait, we got a call.
01:42:01.000 Thanks for calling!
01:42:20.000 An incarcerated individual at San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department.
01:42:24.000 This call is not private.
01:42:26.000 It will be recorded and may be monitored.
01:42:28.000 If you believe this should be a private call, please hang up and follow facility instructions to register this number as a private number.
01:42:35.000 To accept this free call, press 1 to review.
01:42:38.000 Thank you for using Securus.
01:42:40.000 You may start the conversation now.
01:42:42.000 Hi Mercedes.
01:42:44.000 Hi Gavin.
01:42:45.000 Long time no see.
01:42:48.000 Yeah, tell me about it.
01:42:49.000 I'm stuck in here, in jail, and you know what?
01:42:52.000 You guys think that you guys have an illegals problem out there?
01:42:55.000 I have an illegals problem in here.
01:42:57.000 I literally got attacked by my illegal bunkmate, who's a Honduran, two weeks ago.
01:43:08.000 And the facility, all they did was move her.
01:43:11.000 You know, so if I had been attacked by like a white girl or even a black girl, they would have given her a discipline, right?
01:43:17.000 They didn't do anything to this bitch.
01:43:20.000 Nothing.
01:43:20.000 They didn't give her a discipline.
01:43:22.000 Nothing.
01:43:23.000 They moved her to another cell.
01:43:25.000 They let her keep all her stuff.
01:43:27.000 And usually, if you get attacked by somebody, they keep you away from them, right?
01:43:32.000 Instead, I am now stuck on a group.
01:43:35.000 I'm stuck on a tier group.
01:43:37.000 Not only with 18, no, now 19 women for three hours, but two of them are illegals who have attacked me before.
01:43:45.000 And they sit together, literally plotting to attack me.
01:43:49.000 And why do they want to attack you?
01:43:52.000 Probably because I... I think because I'm a porn actress.
01:43:55.000 You know what's funny?
01:43:56.000 The illegal who attacked me, she's a hooker at a cerveza bar.
01:43:59.000 And she's an obese one.
01:44:01.000 She's getting mad at her because she's a porn star?
01:44:03.000 And so these cerveza bars are literally these brothels.
01:44:06.000 Yeah.
01:44:07.000 I'm not kidding.
01:44:09.000 She called me a pinche prostituta, but that's because she's a pinche prostituta.
01:44:13.000 She's here for whoring out a 12-year-old girl.
01:44:16.000 Oh, Jesus.
01:44:16.000 I'm not kidding you.
01:44:18.000 Yeah, this is the kind of people that I'm exposed to here.
01:44:21.000 And the facility does nothing to these people.
01:44:24.000 They protect them.
01:44:25.000 There's actually a deputy here who I complained to her about another one of these illegals here, and they protect these illegals.
01:44:33.000 I'm not kidding you.
01:44:34.000 This is like an amnesty jail.
01:44:37.000 What percentage of the inmates at your jail are illegal?
01:44:42.000 Well, you know, I don't know.
01:44:44.000 I know in this unit, I mean, based on the numbers in this tier, there's three out of 18 of them here, but this is an odd unit.
01:44:52.000 I think over in the other unit, there's a huge number of them are Pisces.
01:44:56.000 Huge, huge number.
01:44:58.000 Pisces?
01:44:58.000 What does that mean?
01:45:00.000 That means the illegals.
01:45:01.000 Oh, and do you speak Spanish?
01:45:05.000 Okay, so you can handle that.
01:45:07.000 Yeah, I speak Spanish really well.
01:45:10.000 So you're in Rancho Cucamonga.
01:45:13.000 What percentage of the inmates in their entirety are Hispanic?
01:45:18.000 Oh, I'd say at least half.
01:45:20.000 At least.
01:45:22.000 If not, probably 60 to 70 percent.
01:45:25.000 Why don't you hang out with the whites?
01:45:26.000 You should hang out with the peckerheads.
01:45:29.000 There's hardly any in here.
01:45:32.000 You just said half of them are white.
01:45:34.000 No, she said half are Mexican.
01:45:35.000 No, I said 50-70% are Hispanic.
01:45:37.000 Oh, I see.
01:45:39.000 Yeah.
01:45:39.000 What a mess.
01:45:39.000 So your trial's already begun?
01:45:42.000 No, no.
01:45:43.000 I go back for my, uh, to set trial dates on the 24th of February.
01:45:48.000 If I don't get killed first, if I don't get stabbed up by these illegals before then.
01:45:53.000 I thought it was January 26 was coming up.
01:45:57.000 24th.
01:45:57.000 Oh, it's the 24th of February.
01:46:01.000 Yeah.
01:46:04.000 What a mess.
01:46:05.000 Five years.
01:46:05.000 Not exactly a speedy trial.
01:46:07.000 Four.
01:46:08.000 Four years.
01:46:09.000 It's been four years to the day as of February 1st.
01:46:11.000 What the fuck is that?
01:46:14.000 I know.
01:46:14.000 Yeah.
01:46:14.000 Well, you know what?
01:46:15.000 Because they have to process all these illegals instead of deporting them like they should.
01:46:19.000 They just house them in here.
01:46:20.000 But if anyone should be waiting four years, it should be the illegals.
01:46:25.000 No, no.
01:46:26.000 They love them.
01:46:27.000 They keep stuffing them in here and then they give them preferential treatment.
01:46:30.000 I literally complained about this.
01:46:32.000 Wow.
01:46:50.000 Unbelievable.
01:46:51.000 Well, you're on the air.
01:46:52.000 I should have mentioned that earlier.
01:46:53.000 Is she happy with her attorney?
01:46:55.000 Oh, yeah.
01:46:56.000 Well, good.
01:46:56.000 Well, I'm glad everybody knows this is what's happening here in the jail.
01:46:59.000 The illegals, I think, are trying to get themselves arrested so they can get free surgery.
01:47:04.000 We have a cop here who's asking, are you happy with your attorney?
01:47:09.000 You know what?
01:47:10.000 I actually, my attorney now, he's actually pretty good.
01:47:15.000 But, you know, he's working within a very corrupt system.
01:47:18.000 The system is so
01:47:20.000 Corrupt.
01:47:24.000 Everybody complains about the cops, but I will say that the cops in the jail are not the problem.
01:47:28.000 They're not the problem.
01:47:29.000 It's the DAs and the system itself.
01:47:34.000 Because I have a pretty good relationship with the cops.
01:47:36.000 That's not their fault, you know?
01:47:41.000 But the DAs and the criminal justice system in total is the problem.
01:47:47.000 And in a lot of it, it's because they make money off of this.
01:47:50.000 You know, there's absolutely no incentive to get these cases resolved.
01:47:54.000 And in this county, I know they make a lot of money on the housing.
01:47:57.000 Just the other day, they picked up an 18-year-old girl from high school.
01:48:03.000 From high school.
01:48:04.000 Because she just turned 18 years old.
01:48:07.000 Within the last month, she texted her underage boyfriend pictures of herself naked.
01:48:13.000 And his, you know, the boyfriend I think was 16 or 17 and his parents saw the pictures and they arrested her.
01:48:21.000 So they're looking for customers?
01:48:24.000 Yeah, that's basically it.
01:48:25.000 Well look, I mean, this is what happens when you have a giant welfare state.
01:48:29.000 People don't understand this.
01:48:30.000 A giant welfare state necessitates a giant criminal justice system.
01:48:35.000 So all these people who are out there who are Democrats and they vote for a giant welfare state, well guess what?
01:48:39.000 You need a giant criminal justice system to go with it.
01:48:42.000 I agree.
01:48:44.000 Mercedes, we gotta go.
01:48:45.000 We gotta take another call.
01:48:46.000 But thanks for calling.
01:48:47.000 Let's catch up again soon.
01:48:49.000 Bye.
01:48:50.000 Love you.
01:48:50.000 Love you, babe.
01:48:51.000 Hey, everyone.
01:48:52.000 Secure the borders.
01:48:53.000 Vote to secure these fucking borders.
01:48:55.000 You have no idea what you guys are getting yourselves into.
01:48:59.000 Okay, we're hearing it from the horse's mouth.
01:49:01.000 Someone on the front lines.
01:49:02.000 Okay, bye.
01:49:02.000 Bye.
01:49:02.000 You know what I've noticed about people in jail?
01:49:08.000 They want to chat.
01:49:10.000 They got nothing else to do.
01:49:12.000 Like, when we were visiting Max and John Upstate, I had all these different, like, topics already.
01:49:17.000 Like, well, I can tell them about this.
01:49:18.000 And then this went on with, like, there was a Republican politician who was assassinated.
01:49:22.000 And, oh, the chat GPT can do Jimi Hendrix songs.
01:49:26.000 But you get there with your little agenda, and they're like, so here's what's going on.
01:49:30.000 So these fucking guys, they said no vegetables in the commissary.
01:49:34.000 So we had to fight.
01:49:35.000 And the CEOs are now pissed at me because I got vegetables in the commissary.
01:49:39.000 You know what it is?
01:49:40.000 I have a whole agenda here, why are you talking so much?
01:49:43.000 They want to be heard for a change, that's the difference.
01:49:46.000 They've been locked up and they want a vent.
01:49:49.000 And I think they're usually talking to retards.
01:49:51.000 So they talk to someone with over 100 IQ and it's like, I got a lot of catching up to do.
01:49:58.000 Pretty much.
01:49:59.000 Because I bet when they're talking, no offense Addy, but I bet when they're talking to prisoners, they're just like, so you want vegetables in the commissary?
01:50:10.000 To eat them, right?
01:50:12.000 Yes, to eat them.
01:50:13.000 Jesus, stay with me Ray.
01:50:16.000 How many times have we been through this?
01:50:20.000 What was that?
01:50:21.000 Is Mercedes watching the show?
01:50:23.000 No, she's in jail.
01:50:24.000 Oh, I don't know.
01:50:25.000 They got iPads now.
01:50:26.000 How does she know?
01:50:26.000 New York State Prison.
01:50:29.000 If she called the line, she'd be able to hear the show on hold.
01:50:32.000 She calls me 50 times a day.
01:50:36.000 So through trial and error, she's discovered that we do the shows Thursday nights.
01:50:41.000 Mm-hmm.
01:50:41.000 We got some more just to catch everyone up.
01:50:44.000 She was accused of molesting her daughter How old was the daughter 11?
01:50:48.000 Oh?
01:50:51.000 She they said that she was filming porn with her daughter Obviously I want all pedophiles to die 100% but this is someone I've known very I know her as well as you John I
01:51:05.000 Okay.
01:51:06.000 The only evidence is word of mouth.
01:51:08.000 I've known her for years and years and years.
01:51:10.000 Possibly coached.
01:51:11.000 Oh do they got any film on it?
01:51:13.000 Zero evidence, zero nothing.
01:51:15.000 She was in a custody battle with her husband, her ex-husband.
01:51:18.000 She accused him of pedophilia because he got
01:51:21.000 Herpes from a 16 year old prostitute in Asia.
01:51:25.000 And she goes, I don't trust you around my daughter.
01:51:27.000 I don't know, not even sure I want her to see you ever again.
01:51:30.000 You're out there fucking, fucking 16 year olds.
01:51:32.000 And then coincidentally, right after that, uh, the daughter has this story about filming porn and stuff.
01:51:38.000 So they go to the house.
01:51:40.000 There are cameras around the bed.
01:51:42.000 Yeah, she's a porn star.
01:51:44.000 And then they found meth and guns.
01:51:46.000 The guns were all legal and yeah, porn stars do meth.
01:51:50.000 I'm not a fan of porn.
01:51:51.000 I don't think you should do meth, but... I like porn and meth.
01:51:58.000 Yeah.
01:51:59.000 The reason I tend to lean on her side is because it's just the fact that she's been locked up so long with no trial.
01:52:05.000 She gave them all of her computers, everything.
01:52:08.000 Take it away.
01:52:09.000 Go through everything.
01:52:10.000 Did they offer her a plea?
01:52:12.000 I don't think so.
01:52:13.000 Nothing's begun.
01:52:14.000 There's no way in the world I would... She can't get bail?
01:52:19.000 Nope, no bail.
01:52:20.000 Isn't there some weird thing with San Bernardino County?
01:52:22.000 Is that where she is, San Bernardino?
01:52:23.000 Yeah, San Bernardino.
01:52:24.000 Or Henderson.
01:52:26.000 Henderson and Bonner.
01:52:27.000 Rancho Cucamonga.
01:52:28.000 Oh, okay.
01:52:29.000 Shit, he thought they'd let... California, they'd let her be free already.
01:52:32.000 She'd be a hero out there.
01:52:34.000 But she's a Trump supporter.
01:52:35.000 That's why it's part of the... But she's a Trump supporter, and I do think it was really curious that after four years of rotting in jail, her first trial date was January 6th.
01:52:44.000 Also, isn't that the one county that you can be locked up without proof or something like that?
01:52:50.000 Yeah, that's what she said.
01:52:51.000 She told me that it's the one place where they don't need actual evidence.
01:52:55.000 Who's the district attorney out there?
01:52:57.000 Who's the prosecutor?
01:53:00.000 Is it Gavin Newsom's nephew or something?
01:53:02.000 One of those levels?
01:53:03.000 We got some chat reads coming in at $100, bugging Chuckie Chimes.
01:53:14.000 Just shooting in.
01:53:15.000 Sorry if you already did it.
01:53:16.000 I missed it, Gab.
01:53:17.000 You got to play Joe Biden's takedown of trannies.
01:53:19.000 We played that, wait, from yesterday?
01:53:21.000 It's absolutely Homeric and the most cogent Joe Biden has ever been.
01:53:27.000 I know you want to watch it again.
01:53:29.000 That's an interesting request.
01:53:30.000 We've never been asked to play something from one day ago.
01:53:33.000 Like a replay.
01:53:33.000 But I'm not against it.
01:53:34.000 Yeah, let's pull it up.
01:53:35.000 You paid a hundred bucks.
01:53:37.000 Some sage advice I got from an old veteran sergeant when I was a rookie.
01:53:41.000 There's only two kinds of broads that want to be cops.
01:53:43.000 Lesbos and cockhounds.
01:53:47.000 We called them cockaholics.
01:53:49.000 Like an alcoholic, but they're cock-a-holics.
01:53:51.000 Yeah, I figured that.
01:53:52.000 Thanks for the explanation.
01:53:56.000 That's why I'm here.
01:53:58.000 I wasn't gonna ask AI to translate cock-a-holic for me.
01:54:03.000 What is the true definition?
01:54:04.000 They get addicted to what the dick did.
01:54:07.000 Gavin, have you ever come across the IG profile Old Vice?
01:54:11.000 Oh, whoever's running it somehow has access to a lot of Old Vice content and they so far completely left you out of the equation.
01:54:19.000 It almost seems like they're going out of their way to attract an audience based on old school Vice content without the G-Dog.
01:54:25.000 Kind of annoying.
01:54:26.000 Unless it's run by you, then I get it.
01:54:28.000 Keep it up.
01:54:29.000 That's funny because when I started reading that, I was like, I have all the old issues.
01:54:32.000 Maybe I can help him.
01:54:33.000 But apparently not.
01:54:36.000 Pull that up, Jamie.
01:54:38.000 Why do police always arrest the man in a domestic dispute, even if it's clear the man did nothing?
01:54:44.000 Lawyers tell men not to call the police or on abuse of female partners because the cops will just show up and arrest the man.
01:54:51.000 Gentlemen, can you field that question?
01:54:53.000 One of the tricks with domestic disputes, you ever hear the old expression, the first one to call 911 wins?
01:55:00.000 So, when you get a 9-1-1 call, you say, hey, I'm being, this is what's happening, my husband's beating the cock out of me.
01:55:06.000 So when the 9-1-1 dispatcher gets that call, they're gonna give it to the sector and say, we have a male beating a female.
01:55:14.000 So, the cop's going in with a predetermined idea that this is what's going on.
01:55:18.000 Well, also, after the O.J.
01:55:20.000 Simpson incident, there became mandatory arrest scenarios, which took the discretion away from the police.
01:55:26.000 I agree with him 100%.
01:55:27.000 The question is, why do they always arrest the man?
01:55:29.000 And I did not always arrest the man.
01:55:33.000 Right.
01:55:33.000 I didn't either.
01:55:34.000 If there was the primary aggressor, if they were both hitting each other, I'd lock up the primary aggressor.
01:55:42.000 Ryan, get rid of that black box.
01:55:43.000 It's fucking annoying.
01:55:45.000 What would you do if not your wife, right?
01:55:48.000 We know all your wives are sane, but you're with some crazy bitch, you're divorced, you're with some chick you met on Tinder, and she's scratching your face, you're bleeding, and she's trashing the fucking kitchen.
01:56:01.000 What would you do?
01:56:02.000 Tim Dickman.
01:56:05.000 She's beating me up.
01:56:06.000 I'd call 9-1-1 and I wouldn't hit her.
01:56:08.000 I wouldn't touch her.
01:56:09.000 You'd call 9-1-1?
01:56:10.000 Yeah, like the guy from the, uh, remember Tony Katane was beaten up?
01:56:14.000 She was married to a baseball player, and she was in the car, and she was, she was, uh, she had her stiletto heel, and she was just, just clawing him with the heel, and he didn't do anything.
01:56:23.000 He just continued to drive, and she just, and then he got to, got home, called, called the police, and, uh... But why call the police?
01:56:29.000 So you have it on record, and yeah, and also that you, you have to call first, you know?
01:56:35.000 Because if you hit her, you're gonna get locked.
01:56:37.000 No, I'm saying, but what about, I'm not offering an opinion here, but what about just nothing?
01:56:42.000 Just do nothing?
01:56:43.000 Just bleed.
01:56:44.000 But then if she calls him on you, then you're fucked.
01:56:46.000 No, the cop's gonna show up and you'll be covered in blood going, hello, I beat the shit out of this woman, I guess.
01:56:51.000 I guess if you don't want her locked up, then yeah, just be a man.
01:56:53.000 For the guys who don't do anything, they just sit there and bleed?
01:56:56.000 It's called cuck.
01:56:59.000 What about you, Neil?
01:57:00.000 You're with a crazy Cambodian chick.
01:57:03.000 She's trying to bite your face off.
01:57:08.000 What would you do?
01:57:09.000 I would tie her in a knot and just sit on top of her.
01:57:12.000 That's the end of it.
01:57:13.000 But with the original question with the caller,
01:57:18.000 You know a lot of times you know the guy wants to hesitate to call right?
01:57:21.000 But the female will call and then the guy will want to lodge a complaint as well and then you're at that weird little situation where you got a cross-complaint situation and that's only handled by the DA's office you know where we worked.
01:57:36.000 So if you want to lodge a complaint against the wife who just called 9-1-1 on you but you weren't the original aggressor then the DA's office has to handle that.
01:57:45.000 Well, isn't the problem, too, you call the cops on her, then she's like, oh yeah, you want to play hardball?
01:57:51.000 He beat the shit out of me every day this month, just as a counter to your thing, and now you're like, oh great, now I've got to defend this mythical beating I was doing.
01:58:01.000 It's a shit show.
01:58:02.000 The last thing any police officer wants to deal with is a domestic dispute.
01:58:06.000 It's a shit show regardless.
01:58:08.000 All right, John, you're next.
01:58:10.000 Psychotic lunatic.
01:58:11.000 You're divorced.
01:58:13.000 You started dating again.
01:58:14.000 You've got these gouges out of your face.
01:58:16.000 Am I tapping that ass good or what?
01:58:18.000 Yes.
01:58:20.000 Listen, once she started to gorge me, you know, that wouldn't happen.
01:58:25.000 I would do what Matt would do.
01:58:26.000 I'd fucking clock her.
01:58:28.000 You'd punch her in the face?
01:58:31.000 I'd clock her, but you know, just to stop her, and then I'd sit on her.
01:58:35.000 But I wouldn't fucking let her fucking gouge me.
01:58:37.000 No, no, no.
01:58:38.000 Because she's gonna lie no matter what.
01:58:42.000 She's gonna fucking, when the cops get there, she's gonna have a fucking mountain of bullshit to tell them.
01:58:46.000 The next time she's gonna stab you.
01:58:48.000 Yeah.
01:58:48.000 The time after that, she's gonna shoot you.
01:58:51.000 But no, once she starts grabbing me, you know,
01:58:55.000 What an amazing variety of responses.
01:58:58.000 Maddie, you are with a new lady, you're madly in love.
01:59:01.000 No, Maddie's with a guy.
01:59:02.000 You've implied... Your boyfriend's hysterical.
01:59:06.000 No, you're with the new crazy chick, sex is awesome, but you've implied you might want to move on and she's fucking crazy.
01:59:13.000 She just threw a casserole dish out your window of your shitty little kitchen.
01:59:18.000 And she has a penis.
01:59:21.000 She has Filipino housemaid when she's young.
01:59:24.000 She's whipping her penis out.
01:59:25.000 Her hairy back.
01:59:26.000 Pissing on everything.
01:59:27.000 What do you do?
01:59:30.000 I have quite a few of, uh, me and my ex-wife.
01:59:33.000 No, no, none of it ever hit her or anything, but she would love to call the cops.
01:59:37.000 Is that all you can do?
01:59:40.000 Just to talk?
01:59:40.000 I went to jail every time.
01:59:43.000 So you would call the cops?
01:59:44.000 No, she would call the cops on me.
01:59:46.000 Right, but what would you do?
01:59:49.000 I would physically remove her from my house.
01:59:51.000 Close the door.
01:59:52.000 You'd push her out the front door, close the door.
01:59:54.000 Whatever it took to get her outside.
01:59:57.000 And then what?
01:59:57.000 Now she's outside screaming.
01:59:59.000 Now she's whipping rocks at the house.
02:00:02.000 She broke another window.
02:00:03.000 A neighbor will call.
02:00:04.000 I'm not calling.
02:00:06.000 Huh.
02:00:07.000 Cause Matty's got warrants.
02:00:09.000 John, could you scoot a little more towards Dickman?
02:00:11.000 What would Gavin do?
02:00:13.000 Well I've been in this situation when I was dating my wife she was hysterical and I just decided for every 12 times she hits me I'm gonna hit her once.
02:00:23.000 So I would go 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12.
02:00:26.000 Oh, closed hand, too.
02:00:28.000 And she would go flying across the room.
02:00:29.000 She had a big purple bruise on her chest the next day.
02:00:31.000 Purple bruise!
02:00:32.000 And then she'd come back and be like, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12.
02:00:36.000 Purple pre-workout.
02:00:37.000 Yeah.
02:00:38.000 It's purple fitness.
02:00:40.000 Thank God I never crossed that bridge with any of my... Yeah, I never got physical with my ex-wife.
02:00:45.000 When Indians are drunk, they take on a new personality.
02:00:50.000 Talk about two-spirit, they become a different person.
02:00:53.000 So like, I've never hit my wife.
02:00:55.000 I hit that crazy squaw that fucking hit me 24 times, but I've never hit my wife.
02:01:04.000 What's that clip up there?
02:01:07.000 It's gonna snap.
02:01:08.000 Yeah, I guess that was goodness.
02:01:10.000 And then Joe Biden.
02:01:12.000 Oh, right.
02:01:13.000 I don't understand how much pressure these guys are under.
02:01:15.000 Wow.
02:01:16.000 He says it better than you!
02:01:30.000 Behind your back, people mock you.
02:01:32.000 Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you.
02:01:34.000 Your friends laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind closed doors.
02:01:37.000 Men are utterly repulsed by you.
02:01:39.000 Thousands of years of evolution have allowed men to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency.
02:01:45.000 Even trannies who passed look uncanny and unnatural to a man.
02:01:50.000 Your bone structure is a dead giveaway.
02:01:52.000 And even if you manage to get a drunk guy home with you, he'll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your diseased, infected ax wound.
02:02:00.000 You will never be happy.
02:02:02.000 You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it's going to be okay.
02:02:06.000 But deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
02:02:13.000 Eventually it'll be too much to bear.
02:02:15.000 You'll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss.
02:02:21.000 Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment.
02:02:28.000 Oh my god.
02:02:28.000 They'll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a man is buried there.
02:02:36.000 Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy
02:02:42.000 Is a skeleton that is unmistakably male.
02:02:45.000 This is what you chose.
02:02:48.000 There's no turning back.
02:02:51.000 It'd be nice if they could make his lips move.
02:02:54.000 I'd vote for that guy.
02:02:56.000 That's a great guy.
02:02:57.000 Here's one with his lips moving.
02:02:59.000 Oh, there is one?
02:02:59.000 To the words.
02:03:00.000 The writing is abnormally good.
02:03:02.000 Yeah, what is that?
02:03:03.000 AI's not doing the writing.
02:03:04.000 Somebody wrote it.
02:03:05.000 No, it's someone writing that, yeah.
02:03:06.000 But whoever's writing that, dude, you need to get a job in the writing field.
02:03:12.000 You're good.
02:03:14.000 We have, if I can... Alright, we're past 10 o'clock.
02:03:19.000 3-0-7.
02:03:19.000 Oh, 3-0-7!
02:03:19.000 What era code is that?
02:03:20.000 I don't know.
02:03:21.000 Go ahead, 3-0-7.
02:03:22.000 Hello!
02:03:29.000 Maddie!
02:03:30.000 Finally, a chick!
02:03:33.000 It's your new friend, Little Blondage.
02:03:35.000 Hey, what's going on, girl?
02:03:37.000 I just wanted to call to tell you guys I appreciate giving a platform to censored people.
02:03:44.000 I'm one of those people, so... Why are you censored?
02:03:51.000 Well, because we... me and my husband just speak facts.
02:03:55.000 And apparently that's racist and stuff.
02:03:58.000 So we're huge fans.
02:04:00.000 We always have been.
02:04:02.000 And, uh, I'm a sexist.
02:04:04.000 I get a kick out of your stupid man brain, but, uh, well, I love you, I guess.
02:04:11.000 Alrighty.
02:04:13.000 Thanks for calling.
02:04:13.000 I appreciate it.
02:04:15.000 Thanks for calling.
02:04:18.000 Hey, and, and I just want to say real quick, don't,
02:04:24.000 But you're always yelling at Ryan for doing stuff, because he's always doing stuff.
02:04:29.000 Yeah, for example Ryan, when I say thanks for calling, you hang up.
02:04:31.000 That's what thanks for calling means.
02:04:35.000 It's a polite way to hang up.
02:04:37.000 She's gonna say something nice about me.
02:04:38.000 Thanks for calling.
02:04:40.000 He's waiting for her to hang up.
02:04:41.000 Tune in, dude.
02:04:41.000 Do your fucking job.
02:04:43.000 See you later!
02:04:45.000 Here's a letter here.
02:04:46.000 I received my 2022 Lexus GX and there are a ton of changes from my previous 2018, like the LED lights.
02:04:55.000 When I was driving a couple weeks ago, I thought I was turning the brights on by accident.
02:04:59.000 After it happened a couple more times, I realized they were going on automatically.
02:05:03.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:05:04.000 Yeah.
02:05:04.000 Then he adds, what the fuck?
02:05:06.000 They were going on and off, even when I didn't need it.
02:05:09.000 The lights reminded me of that Glenn Close scene in Fatal Attraction.
02:05:13.000 Click, click, click, click, click.
02:05:15.000 Shut up!
02:05:17.000 I was so annoyed, so I immediately figured out how to disable it.
02:05:20.000 Yes, I'm a chick and I did it all by myself.
02:05:22.000 Oh, this is from a woman?
02:05:24.000 Wow.
02:05:24.000 Two women.
02:05:27.000 Some loser probably thought it would be a good idea to automate the lights like windshield wipers.
02:05:31.000 Fucking idiots.
02:05:32.000 I love you more than a friend.
02:05:34.000 So yeah, it's this dumb thing where if there's no one around it gives you high beams.
02:05:40.000 And that's fine if you live in fuckin' rural Montana.
02:05:44.000 In the middle of nowhere, maybe.
02:05:46.000 But no one lives in rural Montana.
02:05:49.000 So why is that a thing?
02:05:53.000 I want to like do U-turns and chase them and then pull them over and be like, did you have your high beams on?
02:05:58.000 I'm not mad if you didn't, but did you?
02:06:01.000 I just want to know.
02:06:02.000 I love the days when you had to hit the little button on the floor.
02:06:04.000 Right.
02:06:04.000 A little clicker.
02:06:06.000 Was that 1979?
02:06:07.000 Yeah.
02:06:07.000 Yeah, my 79 Firebird had that actually.
02:06:12.000 Here's another guy.
02:06:13.000 I think younger generations think it's an option.
02:06:15.000 They're scared of the dark and want to see everything in high def like they're 4K TV.
02:06:19.000 That's a good explanation.
02:06:20.000 Yeah, I think Zoomers... Our dads taught us to drive.
02:06:25.000 We took lessons, I guess.
02:06:26.000 But our dads also were teaching us to drive.
02:06:28.000 And they're like, don't put your fucking... My dad was from the Bronx for some reason.
02:06:32.000 Don't put your fucking high beams on, asshole.
02:06:35.000 Yeah, you're supposed to feel like a sense of shame when somebody brights you.
02:06:38.000 The first car I drove was a police car.
02:06:42.000 I grew up in the Bronx.
02:06:44.000 Went to the Navy at 17.
02:06:45.000 When I got out, I took the police test.
02:06:49.000 I worked for the post office, but then I took the police test and he said, hey, you need a driver's license.
02:06:54.000 I was like, what the fuck?
02:06:55.000 Wow.
02:06:57.000 And I took the fucking driver's license.
02:07:00.000 I fucking got my learner's permit.
02:07:01.000 Then I got this.
02:07:02.000 I didn't have a driver and I was driving.
02:07:04.000 Wait, what do you mean, what the fuck?
02:07:06.000 You didn't think there'd be driving involved in being a cop?
02:07:10.000 Well, I figured if he got a part, I'd let him drive.
02:07:14.000 Did you do the high-speed course?
02:07:15.000 I did that.
02:07:16.000 I did that in Floyd Bennett Field.
02:07:17.000 What the fucking... Yeah, I had no experience at all.
02:07:22.000 I flew out to Las Vegas with a friend of mine.
02:07:24.000 He taught me how to drive in the desert, but... You know, when you grow up in the Bronx, nobody learns.
02:07:29.000 You don't drive until you're 21, 22 years old.
02:07:31.000 You take the fucking Iron Horse.
02:07:32.000 I almost didn't become a cop because I had so many speeding tickets.
02:07:36.000 They almost wouldn't let me.
02:07:37.000 It's frowned upon.
02:07:42.000 Let's do one more call.
02:07:44.000 Okay.
02:07:46.000 Okay.
02:07:47.000 We got 928.
02:07:48.000 You're on the late.
02:07:53.000 How you doing?
02:07:54.000 Hey man.
02:07:54.000 What's going on?
02:07:55.000 You're the last caller.
02:07:56.000 This better be good.
02:07:57.000 I had a question specifically for the group of police officers that are on the show tonight.
02:08:03.000 Specifically?
02:08:05.000 Specifically.
02:08:06.000 We're on the Atlantic.
02:08:08.000 Do you guys know anything about the Selective Traffic Enforcement Program and what do you think about it?
02:08:14.000 If you're against it, what do you think, you know, citizens can do to stop it?
02:08:18.000 It's basically a federal grant program that gives police officers in different states quotas or gives them monetary incentives to pull people over and ID them.
02:08:31.000 To ID them?
02:08:34.000 Wow, that's a real in-the-weeds fuckin' call.
02:08:38.000 I'm not familiar.
02:08:39.000 They have different programs and... I know where you're getting at.
02:08:45.000 They have different programs like that damn, or the mad, Mothers Against... I'm like, damn, Drunks Against Mad Mothers.
02:08:52.000 But they have...
02:08:53.000 Mothers Against Drunk Drivers, so if you see one of those cars in a small town with the circle around it, they're getting a federal, what do you call it, grant for that car.
02:09:03.000 They're on overtime.
02:09:04.000 Right, so those officers, they gotta go out there and they gotta make X amount of arrests.
02:09:08.000 There's distracted driving, there's buckle up New York, there's all kinds of, you go out and they just want you to target CEOs.
02:09:14.000 You gotta go out there, they're getting money for it.
02:09:15.000 Is that what you're talking about?
02:09:19.000 Yeah, that's basically what I'm talking about.
02:09:21.000 But in my opinion, the taxpayers wouldn't vote for something like that.
02:09:26.000 The people that are funding the Sheriff's Department or the local police department, they wouldn't want that.
02:09:31.000 Yet the federal government's coming in and saying, we're going to offer your police station money.
02:09:35.000 It's the insurance companies that are pushing that.
02:09:42.000 In the government, that you have these people pushing everyone, but you have the insurance companies that are, what do you call it, pushing that to the government to try to get the revenue going.
02:09:51.000 Yeah, they got the seatbelt laws passed.
02:09:53.000 Yeah, they may not want it, but they want the dollars.
02:09:56.000 The BAC levels dropped, and yeah.
02:10:00.000 Yeah, that's total bullshit.
02:10:01.000 They should bring the drinking age back to 18.
02:10:03.000 We made a lot of money on those details, though.
02:10:05.000 Yeah, there's nothing you can do about it.
02:10:08.000 Was that an off-duty job?
02:10:09.000 No, it's overtime.
02:10:10.000 It's all overtime.
02:10:11.000 Those details that are federally funded are overtime.
02:10:14.000 And if you don't come in with a certain number, you're not getting the detail the next time around.
02:10:18.000 You can do it once, but then the sergeant will say, alright, you fucked me once, you're not getting it again.
02:10:22.000 You're not getting it again.
02:10:23.000 They're just dangling the carrot.
02:10:26.000 So, bad idea.
02:10:27.000 Don't do it.
02:10:28.000 Don't do what?
02:10:30.000 Have incentives for cops for these things.
02:10:32.000 No, no, no.
02:10:33.000 Now that I'm retired and I'm a taxpayer, absolutely not.
02:10:35.000 It's a money maker for the police.
02:10:37.000 It's good for the police, but it sucks for the citizens.
02:10:40.000 Like, I understand wherever town, where are you from?
02:10:44.000 I'm from Northern Arizona.
02:10:47.000 So you're in Arizona, you're working for a living, and you're coming home from work,
02:10:51.000 This cop needs to get somebody with a seatbelt.
02:10:53.000 You don't put your seatbelt on, he has to bang you.
02:10:55.000 But he's not banging you because he wants to bang you, he's banging you because he needs a quota.
02:10:59.000 So it's wrong.
02:11:03.000 Right, I've had that exact situation happen and, you know, here in Arizona you're not legally allowed to, it's a, you can't stop someone for a seatbelt violation.
02:11:12.000 So they'll come up with something else and lie and say, oh you were over the fog line.
02:11:16.000 And you're like, I know that's not true.
02:11:18.000 But then they'll be like, well now I'm gonna get you through.
02:11:22.000 Well, they're very creative cops out there in Arizona.
02:11:25.000 God bless them.
02:11:29.000 All right, that's a great bummer ending to the show.
02:11:32.000 Thanks for calling.
02:11:33.000 I was in over 45 countries.
02:11:40.000 48, 45.
02:11:40.000 I'm gonna be in the Riptide bar in Florida the next couple weeks.
02:11:44.000 If anybody from Hollywood, Florida, if any of the locals are down there, I'll be in the Riptide.
02:11:49.000 Just so that people know.
02:11:50.000 Okay.
02:11:51.000 Is that a gay bar?
02:11:52.000 BEAST!
02:11:54.000 AND RED PILLS!
02:11:56.000 You know what's crazy, Neil?
02:11:58.000 From far away, the way the shadows on your hat circle under your eyes, it looks like you're wearing tons and tons of eyeliner.
02:12:07.000 Guy liner?
02:12:07.000 Take the hat off.
02:12:08.000 Yeah.
02:12:09.000 Guy liner.
02:12:10.000 It looks fine close up, but look at the zoom out.
02:12:15.000 Oh wow.
02:12:15.000 You look like you're wearing cumbrellas.
02:12:20.000 Like you're Izzy Stradland or something.
02:12:22.000 Nice!
02:12:23.000 Go fuck yourself.
02:12:25.000 Look at that, you see that?
02:12:26.000 Can you see what we see?
02:12:27.000 Yeah, yeah, I can see.
02:12:28.000 Look straight ahead.
02:12:28.000 You have to look straight in the camera.
02:12:29.000 Look straight ahead and you have giant eyelashes on.
02:12:32.000 Is it gay?
02:12:34.000 No, it's a shadow from your brow.
02:12:36.000 It's like a caterpillar.
02:12:38.000 Alright folks, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
02:12:44.000 A little blotting.
02:12:54.000 Let's go!
02:13:24.000 I trusted you!