Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #33 - BANNED

00:00:12.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.

00:00:34.000 Sorry, I'm late, dog.

00:00:37.000 My chair's stuck.

00:00:40.000 Um, yeah, I don't got notes, I ain't organized.

00:00:45.000 I've been running around like a chicken with his head cut off, just running, running, blood spurting everywhere, making weird gestures, joining the circus and living for approximately 2.8 years before eventually toppling down dead.

00:01:01.000 That's a true story, you know.

00:01:03.000 That a chicken that survived 2.8 years?

00:01:06.000 Yeah.

00:01:07.000 What?

00:01:09.000 There was some attraction at some circus thing, and there was like the bearded lady and the two-headed snake, and one of the things was a chicken with his head cut off, and he was doing fine.

00:01:21.000 The no-headed chicken.

00:01:22.000 The no-headed chicken.

00:01:23.000 Mike, his name was.

00:01:24.000 Mike.

00:01:26.000 Mike, you're acting like the headless chicken that is your namesake.

00:01:30.000 How long did he live for?

00:01:32.000 What did I say?

00:01:32.000 18 months.

00:01:33.000 2.8 years?

00:01:34.000 All right, I was off.

00:01:35.000 1.5 years.

00:01:37.000 Yeah.

00:01:38.000 Fame.

00:01:39.000 Fame!

00:01:40.000 I want to live forever.

00:01:43.000 Wait, fame?

00:01:44.000 I want to learn how to fly.

00:01:45.000 Oh my God, that song's about Mike.

00:01:46.000 Fame, I want to live forever.

00:01:47.000 I want to live forever.

00:01:48.000 I want to learn how to fly. 1.00

00:01:51.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:01:53.000 The people who made the movie fame are fucking geniuses. 1.00

00:01:57.000 They're chicken lovers. 1.00

00:01:58.000 Or more specifically, Genie I. We've got a lot to cover today.

00:02:03.000 The reason I'm late is I've been dealing with all this most recent gossip.

00:02:08.000 We're banned.

00:02:10.000 We might be banned from YouTube.

00:02:11.000 You might not be seeing this on YouTube because I might not have a YouTube channel.

00:02:15.000 So who am I talking to?

00:02:16.000 I guess the people behind the paywall at censored.tv, which you cannot say.

00:02:21.000 You cannot say censored.tv on Instagram.

00:02:26.000 You can't say it in private DMs.

00:02:29.000 Hey, man, did you hear about censored.tv, which I hate? 1.00

00:02:33.000 Those guys are jerks. 0.99

00:02:34.000 I'm glad they're banned. 1.00

00:02:36.000 Send?

00:02:36.000 Nope.

00:02:37.000 It won't send.

00:02:41.000 They tried to.

00:02:42.000 I got some screenshots.

00:02:43.000 I don't want to show them.

00:02:44.000 I can't see you.

00:02:45.000 I don't want to show the screenshots because it gives away people's identicrees.

00:02:49.000 Oh, I love the way you make the word identities fun.

00:02:52.000 Yes.

00:02:54.000 Someone with a vocabulary of 140 should not be coming up with fun names.

00:03:00.000 Why don't you just stick to words?

00:03:02.000 Identities.

00:03:03.000 There we go.

00:03:05.000 But yeah, they would send me a thing where they can't, you know, you could put your website in the bio and you try to censor TV and it says you're a Nazi or something. 0.94

00:03:14.000 Yeah, you're a Nazi. 0.89

00:03:17.000 You could put Pornhub or, you know. 0.99

00:03:18.000 Pornhub's fine.

00:03:20.000 Ryan had his personal Facebook shut down today, which is like pictures of his little Puerto Rican Japanese siblings and cousins.

00:03:30.000 Not necessarily in that order.

00:03:32.000 Some are Japanese, some are Puerto Rican.

00:03:34.000 And some aren't cousins.

00:03:38.000 Oh, yeah.

00:03:38.000 Who else?

00:03:39.000 We have this Serbian dude who does our tech, which is not easy with censored.tv because everyone's trying to shut it down.

00:03:45.000 So everything is on 304 levels of encryption.

00:03:48.000 And he's like, I'm not sure what I appreciate you make a news show, right?

00:03:52.000 News, you like a podcast?

00:03:54.000 You don't really understand, but I have just been kicked off of Facebook.

00:03:59.000 So I have to explain to my boss why I can no longer administer the Facebook.

00:04:04.000 Like what they're really doing here is they're saying, I don't just want you to not have a voice.

00:04:08.000 I don't want you to have any friends.

00:04:10.000 Like Max Hare, the proud boy who's in prison and governor for the next four years, he's dating this girl.

00:04:18.000 And she's not political.

00:04:19.000 They met shortly before he went to prison, but she says, I think I'm going to stick by this guy.

00:04:23.000 She works at a nail salon.

00:04:25.000 They start, Antifa radical leftists have been harassing her mother, her father, her, she's like 21, and the nail salon.

00:04:34.000 They don't want Max to have a girlfriend.

00:04:36.000 The fact that he's in prison for four years is not good enough.

00:04:39.000 Do you understand?

00:04:41.000 This is really what's going on here.

00:04:43.000 Ron Coleman, the lawyer that's helping me sue the SPLC, summed it up perfectly.

00:04:48.000 They're Bolsheviks. 0.74

00:04:49.000 They only care about power.

00:04:51.000 And people who care about power are insatiable.

00:04:54.000 Like ISIS, they're never satisfied. 0.93

00:04:57.000 So get the guy in prison.

00:04:59.000 That's nothing.

00:05:00.000 I want to make sure he doesn't have a love in his life. 1.00

00:05:04.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:05:06.000 Oh, that's good. 0.99

00:05:07.000 Anyway, we got these shirts.

00:05:11.000 I'm not really liking them.

00:05:13.000 What? 0.99

00:05:15.000 First of all, they're too fucking small. 0.99

00:05:19.000 Look at this. 1.00

00:05:20.000 This is a large, right?

00:05:22.000 Mine fits perf.

00:05:24.000 Yeah, you're a midge. 0.99

00:05:25.000 Mine's a small.

00:05:27.000 Okay?

00:05:28.000 This is my large.

00:05:29.000 Well, you're putting it over a trench or a pee coat.

00:05:35.000 Does that look like it fits?

00:05:37.000 That's over your trench coat.

00:05:41.000 Now you're stretching this out.

00:05:42.000 Now you're making me look fat.

00:05:43.000 Look how hard it is to get on your body.

00:05:46.000 Yet again, you're wearing multiple layers of clothing.

00:05:48.000 A shirt's supposed to go under those things. 0.74

00:05:50.000 You know what's perfect?

00:05:51.000 Earlier I said you don't have a vocabulary.

00:05:53.000 Correct.

00:05:54.000 So don't make funny words.

00:05:55.000 And then you called a P coat a trench coat, but fund it up by saying a trench.

00:06:00.000 And then I said a P. Because I'm so positive that's a trench coat.

00:06:03.000 I'm going to call it a trench.

00:06:04.000 And then I said a P. To abbreviate a coat means you're familiar with it.

00:06:09.000 And you're bored.

00:06:12.000 So you think it's the coat?

00:06:15.000 Well, mine fits perfect.

00:06:17.000 And you can get these at censored.tv.

00:06:20.000 Don't say that.

00:06:21.000 We'll be banned.

00:06:23.000 Didn't you get a notice on your Facebook that you were promoting hate? 0.99

00:06:27.000 Yeah, some crap like that. 0.98

00:06:28.000 And what was the hate? 0.99

00:06:29.000 You were Saying, like, hate's awesome.

00:06:31.000 Hey, everyone, we're having a hate convention on Thursday.

00:06:35.000 It says as follows: Yeah, I broke the policies: the following: support for a violent or criminal organization or group, credible threats or harm to others, or the promotion of self-destructive behavior, targeting other individuals, hate speech, single out people based on race, ethnicity, national origin.

00:06:57.000 Did you do all of those or they're saying this is the rough?

00:07:00.000 No, this is just basically we don't like you.

00:07:01.000 God, look at my nips these days. 0.96

00:07:03.000 They're like pencil erasers.

00:07:05.000 You got three of them.

00:07:08.000 Finally, a good joke.

00:07:10.000 Thanks.

00:07:11.000 I like these shirts, but they kind of, without explanation or context, it kind of looks like a Nambla shirt.

00:07:20.000 They can see your head is the full size.

00:07:25.000 So yeah, that's what's going on today.

00:07:27.000 And I got all kinds of goss about it.

00:07:29.000 You know, it was funny.

00:07:30.000 Gateway Pundit wrote an article about it.

00:07:33.000 Cassandra Fairbanks wrote it up.

00:07:35.000 And it was banned because it had censored TV in the title.

00:07:41.000 Wow, wow. 0.99

00:07:42.000 But there's weird shit going on. 0.99

00:07:44.000 This isn't as simple as it sounds. 0.99

00:07:48.000 For example, Still on Twitter.

00:07:58.000 Apparently, we got reported by some Bernie groups and similar types of people.

00:08:04.000 One of the initial reports mentioned that they couldn't believe censor.tv was allowed to operate in public venues like Facebook.

00:08:11.000 These bans have been passed to Facebook PR team, and there's a note that has been logged for law enforcement.

00:08:17.000 Logged, meaning it's not deleted.

00:08:19.000 They've saved everything.

00:08:22.000 It doesn't mean they've sent it, but that they've kept all of the content and comments in case law enforcement wants it later.

00:08:30.000 Apparently, we don't belong on the internet, let alone Facebook.

00:08:34.000 But it's definitely coordinated.

00:08:36.000 There's actually only one content-related report for our pages until yesterday.

00:08:40.000 Then there were lots of them that came in all last night at once.

00:08:45.000 This is right after Trump's State of the Union, right?

00:08:48.000 Or no, that was two nights ago.

00:08:49.000 Yeah, it was after his little Victory Lap speech.

00:08:53.000 Right.

00:08:53.000 Kind of.

00:08:54.000 That's the timing, I see.

00:08:56.000 They waited for our name banning, our name change.

00:08:59.000 Banning censored TV is a lot easier than banning free speech.tv.

00:09:06.000 And then some insider, insider insiders said, if Gavin says he is distancing himself from some groups, Facebook might consider a reinstatement.

00:09:18.000 Distancing myself.

00:09:20.000 Yeah, we tried that.

00:09:22.000 It didn't work.

00:09:22.000 Two men still went to prison.

00:09:24.000 Although I was happy to get that letter from John where he said, dude, don't freak out.

00:09:31.000 Yes, they used everything you've ever said in our trial, but if they didn't, it would have been a MAGA hat.

00:09:37.000 And he brought up a good point.

00:09:38.000 He said, you know, they had those big banners that were put all over New York.

00:09:42.000 And one of them had Max as a smiling.

00:09:47.000 It said, smiling in the face of tyranny.

00:09:49.000 And then Cuomo really freaked out and made Max a CMC, I believe it's called. 0.99

00:09:56.000 What the fuck does that mean again? 0.98

00:09:58.000 There's some things my brain just cannot remember. 0.98

00:10:02.000 And one of them is this acronym.

00:10:04.000 Probably because, yeah, here it is.

00:10:09.000 A CMC, close monitoring case.

00:10:13.000 I can never remember that.

00:10:15.000 Close monitoring case.

00:10:17.000 It's like the guy in the Kansas City Chiefs that went to New Rochelle High.

00:10:22.000 I can never remember him.

00:10:24.000 Already getting screenshots from your little shirt debacle.

00:10:29.000 Quasimoto.

00:10:32.000 They made John a CMC right after.

00:10:35.000 Really?

00:10:35.000 Yeah.

00:10:36.000 Oh, wow. 0.94

00:10:36.000 So John with the black wife is basically... 0.94

00:10:48.000 And you, of course, will never be able to help me. 0.98

00:10:50.000 No way.

00:10:51.000 But when a president travels in a bunch of different cars, it's not a convoy, it's a thingamedoodle.

00:10:58.000 Motorcade.

00:10:59.000 Motorcade.

00:11:00.000 Wow.

00:11:00.000 Yes.

00:11:01.000 Ryan is on his game tonight.

00:11:03.000 That's right.

00:11:04.000 An MC.

00:11:06.000 So they have to travel in an MC.

00:11:12.000 And that's John and Max now.

00:11:14.000 And obviously, John had no banners.

00:11:16.000 So the banners don't really matter. 0.99

00:11:17.000 In other words, the impetus, the justification is all bullshit. 1.00

00:11:23.000 It's all lies. 0.99

00:11:24.000 This is what we have to understand about Clown World.

00:11:27.000 They're lying to us.

00:11:29.000 Did you know that there's a Nazi threat in this country that's as bad as ISIS? 0.67

00:11:35.000 The FBI, according to my alma mater, Vice.com, just announced that the FBI has declared that ISIS is just as serious of a threat as white nationalism. 0.99

00:11:50.000 Why are you fucking blogging on social media when you should be looking up the article I'm talking about? 0.99

00:11:56.000 Putting out a tweet. 1.00

00:11:57.000 Why are you putting out a tweet?

00:12:01.000 Hey?

00:12:02.000 For the video, comments, and also letting people know that we're live.

00:12:06.000 Okay, the latter makes a little more sense.

00:12:11.000 Yeah, that's the real threat in this country.

00:12:14.000 ISIS, jihadism. 0.89

00:12:17.000 The real threat, what's really killing us, are Nazis. 0.93

00:12:21.000 Ah, Jesus. 1.00

00:12:22.000 Fucking Christ. 1.00

00:12:27.000 Sorry, folks. 1.00

00:12:28.000 Lull in the show.

00:12:40.000 FBI, ISIS, white nationalism, vice.

00:12:46.000 Why is that so hard?

00:12:48.000 I got other articles that aren't by your alpha mater.

00:12:52.000 Alpha mater.

00:12:53.000 Yes.

00:12:54.000 Alma mater.

00:12:55.000 Alma mater.

00:12:56.000 FBI considers a white supremacist, considers white supremacist groups As much of a threat as ISIS. 1.00

00:13:02.000 And what the fuck is the picture they use? 1.00

00:13:05.000 A bunch of guys with Confederate flags. 0.98

00:13:07.000 I don't know what the black and white ones are, but I've never seen those before.

00:13:13.000 Yeah, they keep going back to Charlottesville, of course.

00:13:16.000 So from what I gather, the big risk of white supremacy is the base and Atomwaffen.

00:13:28.000 When Andy No doxes Antifa, but he doesn't really dox them.

00:13:33.000 He just publishes their publicly available mugshot and says this was the one who was throwing bricks at cars.

00:13:40.000 So the criticism for him for doing that is, quote unquote, and this is going to sound radical, but radical is mainstream now.

00:13:50.000 Andy No is providing kill lists for Adam Woffen.

00:13:55.000 So this Nazi mafia sees, I guess, these mugshots and they just put it on a list. 0.95

00:14:02.000 And they go, that's the guy I'm going to kill next. 1.00

00:14:05.000 I'm going to kill that guy. 0.99

00:14:06.000 Which, if that was true, I kind of get your point. 1.00

00:14:10.000 That is as bad as jihadist. 1.00

00:14:13.000 But then you look them up and it's a fucking joke. 0.99

00:14:19.000 We talked about this this week because I had never heard of them before. 0.98

00:14:22.000 You look them up and you go, oh, the New York Times is like, there was this death and it was associated with them.

00:14:28.000 There was that death and it was associated with them.

00:14:30.000 There was this death and it was associated with them. 1.00

00:14:31.000 And you go, fuck, that sounds bad. 1.00

00:14:33.000 A lot of deaths associated with these guys. 1.00

00:14:35.000 There it is.

00:14:35.000 Look at the opening paragraph.

00:14:39.000 When two Florida men, the name came up.

00:14:42.000 When the roommate he did not shoot was sentenced five years, the name came up.

00:14:44.000 When his arrest was made, the name came up.

00:14:47.000 Wow, it sounds like we have a problem on our hands with Atomwaffen. 0.75

00:14:52.000 And then you look at those cases and it's like, oh, one of them was some psychotic Muslim who killed someone in Atomwaffen because he said they were Nazis, which I believe they are. 1.00

00:15:04.000 The other two deaths were like some guy killed his girlfriend's parents because she said, don't date him. 0.99

00:15:10.000 He's a Nazi psycho. 1.00

00:15:12.000 That's a Muslim. 1.00

00:15:14.000 So it's basically like this tiny group of a handful of psycho kids who have deaths associated with them that are not really white supremacy. 0.99

00:15:24.000 And that's fucking like three or four or five. 0.99

00:15:27.000 Meanwhile, 20 black men killed by other black men in this drug war. 1.00

00:15:32.000 130 opioid overdoses a day. 0.62

00:15:37.000 And if you want to get into mass shootings, which we should get into in a second, white nationalists, that's something I actually want to really examine because I think I've been too generous in the past with that term.

00:15:51.000 But anyway, then you look up the base and you go, okay, that sounds terrible.

00:15:55.000 Apparently the base is some, oh, it's an English translation of Al-Qaeda. 1.00

00:16:02.000 And you go, fuck. 1.00

00:16:04.000 Like, I consider I'm wrong sometimes, believe it or not. 1.00

00:16:06.000 So when I hear about this new group that's planning to take over America with a giant race war, I go, shit, that's bad. 0.99

00:16:15.000 And then you look at them. 1.00

00:16:16.000 Look at these clowns. 0.98

00:16:17.000 Look at these little kids. 0.98

00:16:19.000 Same as Atom Woffen.

00:16:21.000 And what does it say?

00:16:22.000 Alleged members of white supremacy group, the base, charged with plotting to kill Antifa couple.

00:16:27.000 And then you find out, actually, no, it's a CIA operative who gets on these chats trying to find the bad guys. 1.00

00:16:36.000 And then he says, blah, blah, blah, we should kill them, the Jews and blah, blah, blah, the Negroes, whatever. 1.00

00:16:42.000 We need to fight for whatever. 1.00

00:16:44.000 And then some kids go, yeah, that sounds cool. 1.00

00:16:47.000 Why don't we fucking kill them? 1.00

00:16:49.000 And the next thing you know, you allegedly caught these fucking white supremacists. 1.00

00:16:55.000 Again, tiny handful of freaks. 1.00

00:16:57.000 But they take these weird little, totally irrelevant groups slash events and they make it into a pattern.

00:17:06.000 And now it's the new ISIS. 1.00

00:17:10.000 And that's okay if it's the Huffington Post and the Daily Beast saying stupid shit like that. 1.00

00:17:15.000 But when it's the FBI, like remember that guy, I was an FBI double agent. 0.99

00:17:21.000 And he said, he literally conflated the two.

00:17:24.000 He said, I was on a hit list and put up, look up like FBI double agent, Proud Boys, Adam Waffen.

00:17:35.000 I think he was on the Daily Beast.

00:17:38.000 And he said, I was doxxed after I said, blah, blah, blah. 0.99

00:17:42.000 I don't know what the fuck he said. 0.99

00:17:44.000 And then I got scared I'd be on a list, a list that could include, you know, psychotic groups coming to kill me like Adam Waffen or Proud Boys. 1.00

00:17:55.000 You go, no, no, no, no, no.

00:17:57.000 The Proud Boys is the Elk's Lodge. 0.84

00:17:59.000 Yes, they've been involved in violence, but it's violence defending themselves when they get attacked by lunatics.

00:18:06.000 How many times did they attack Mark Bray's Antifa handbook book readings?

00:18:11.000 They don't go looking for trouble.

00:18:11.000 Zero times.

00:18:13.000 Their motto is fuck around and find out. 1.00

00:18:17.000 You're not finding it, are you? 1.00

00:18:19.000 No, I know who you're talking about, too.

00:18:20.000 It's that precious smiley dude.

00:18:23.000 Ready?

00:18:26.000 Let's have a race. 0.53

00:18:29.000 I'm going to go.

00:18:30.000 Was it Daily Bas or Bush?

00:18:31.000 ABI Double Agent Proud Boys.

00:18:35.000 Let's do that.

00:18:36.000 What do we got?

00:18:39.000 Searching, it's searching.

00:18:42.000 It's wondering.

00:18:44.000 Robert Hansen comes up.

00:18:47.000 Andy No, here we go.

00:18:49.000 Naveed Jamali.

00:18:50.000 How long did that take me?

00:18:52.000 How long did that take me?

00:18:54.000 A couple seconds.

00:18:55.000 Very fast.

00:18:57.000 Newsweek.

00:18:58.000 Andy No says Antifa far left are as violent as white nationalism.

00:19:04.000 Far right.

00:19:06.000 Sorry, sorry.

00:19:08.000 I'm saying this headline very poorly.

00:19:11.000 This is someone criticizing Andy No.

00:19:13.000 Andy No says Antifa slash far left are as violent as white nationalism slash far right.

00:19:20.000 Here's why I disagree.

00:19:22.000 Opinion.

00:19:22.000 This guy is Naveed Jamali.

00:19:24.000 Wait, you still are unable to fucking locate this? 0.98

00:19:28.000 You spell that? 0.99

00:19:30.000 No.

00:19:33.000 So he goes, I was notified that my information and that of my spouse, our minor children, my parents and siblings, were listed on a Target website.

00:19:41.000 And here's where he gets weird.

00:19:43.000 Associated with the likes of Atomwaffen.

00:19:49.000 So not Atomwaffen, not those little kids I showed you earlier, but just the likes of that.

00:19:54.000 I was on sites associated with that. 0.97

00:19:56.000 What the fuck does that mean? 0.97

00:19:58.000 Not only was being on the list shocking, blah, blah, blah, filed police reports. 0.99

00:20:04.000 And then he squeezes in a sentence later.

00:20:08.000 As a result, I am so terrified that even today, I do not wish to use my name for a very real fear of reprisal by groups such as the Proud Boys. 0.98

00:20:20.000 Dude, you're still fucking tangled over your sweatpants? 0.99

00:20:25.000 Newsweek. 0.99

00:20:26.000 Andy No says Antifa.

00:20:28.000 Just go into the search bar and write Andy Noe Says Antifa and then Newsweek.

00:20:45.000 I typed it in.

00:20:48.000 So this is a new one. 0.98

00:20:50.000 I can find something in a matter of seconds, and then I start discussing it, and you still have no fucking clue what's going on.

00:21:00.000 Are you using Brave? 0.69

00:21:03.000 Nope.

00:21:04.000 Naveed Jamali.

00:21:04.000 Yes?

00:21:05.000 I'm using Brave and DuckDuckGo.

00:21:08.000 Okay, because I got him.

00:21:10.000 Yeah, you got him, but you don't have the newsweek article.

00:21:12.000 We're discussing.

00:21:14.000 Look what I typed in.

00:21:14.000 I'm going to zoom in on it.

00:21:15.000 Andy No says Antifa far left are as violent as white nationalism.

00:21:21.000 You said Antida.

00:21:28.000 Wow.

00:21:29.000 Welcome home. 0.99

00:21:32.000 Anyway, that shit show overrode the story that I'm talking about. 0.99

00:21:39.000 But he says, by the likes of Adam Woffin, which sounds terrible because it is, though it's only seven guys. 0.99

00:21:48.000 And then he conflates that with Proud Boys and then has a picture of Proud Boys.

00:21:53.000 This is ironically why we're banned from Instagram.

00:21:56.000 Because right now, by me just sort of clarifying these common misconceptions, I'm glorifying hate and extremism and violence.

00:22:08.000 Which is why you cannot show this anywhere. 0.99

00:22:13.000 God damn it, that took you a long ass fucking time. 0.99

00:22:20.000 I gave Ryan a raise today, if you can believe that. 1.00

00:22:24.000 Yes.

00:22:25.000 I gave him a raise.

00:22:26.000 I said, let's give you $200 more a paycheck.

00:22:30.000 But no more, let's not do any more invoicing.

00:22:33.000 Like, oh, I went on this trip.

00:22:35.000 I'm going to send you, you know, invoice you $200.

00:22:39.000 This was Ryan's takeaway.

00:22:41.000 Wait a minute.

00:22:43.000 If I work like every single weekend and I go on trips every week, I'll be down.

00:22:51.000 I'll actually do less.

00:22:53.000 I'll make less money than I would if I had invoiced for those.

00:22:56.000 And I had to explain to him that not every single week do we go on a trip.

00:23:02.000 No, not on a trip.

00:23:04.000 But we just got two new shows, both of them being shot here.

00:23:08.000 And I figure that's going to be a me thing. 0.88

00:23:10.000 I have to edit them and shoot them.

00:23:12.000 So that's, you know, if it's every other week, it's $100 per day. 0.59

00:23:18.000 It's whatever.

00:23:18.000 I was just asking, what days do you need me?

00:23:21.000 No, you literally didn't understand that if you had a bad week, like say we go to CPAC and AFPAC and all that stuff, and you work your ass off and you work Saturday and Sunday, you could have invoiced that for more.

00:23:32.000 But that's just that particular week.

00:23:33.000 You don't seem to understand there's 52 of those.

00:23:36.000 No, yeah.

00:23:36.000 Right.

00:23:37.000 So, but the two new shows are a big thing, too, because that's going to be.

00:23:40.000 No, they're EZ Ps. 0.88

00:23:41.000 Okay.

00:23:43.000 One is just Larry Barnes with a green screen talking about various fights.

00:23:47.000 And then Gary's mailbag is just one long shot.

00:23:53.000 What's the editing there?

00:23:56.000 You know, just in case we do an ambitious Larry Barnes thing where I'm cutting up stuff like a normal green screen. 0.99

00:24:04.000 Anyway, so that's what pisses me off about this bullshit rumor that white nationalism is everywhere and Nazis are everywhere. 0.99

00:24:12.000 They're not fucking anywhere. 1.00

00:24:13.000 And if you tell anyone saying that, they go, yeah, I know. 1.00

00:24:17.000 But you tell the left that and they go, you're fucking insane. 1.00

00:24:21.000 They're a major threat. 1.00

00:24:23.000 What about Charlottesville?

00:24:25.000 They always say that.

00:24:26.000 Now, we've done this video a million times, but I want to change it a bit.

00:24:31.000 So we, what did we work out?

00:24:33.000 We went through the past 10 years of mass shootings because the reason people need to be censored is they will lead to online radicalization and there will be a mass shooting.

00:24:50.000 So it starts out, it's a nice, innocent boy, your son, your 18-year-old son, and then he watches something like this and he hears all the hate we spew and then he goes and gets a gun and shoots up a synagogue or a black church or something. 0.98

00:25:03.000 That's the mentality, which sounds fucking insane, obviously. 0.98

00:25:09.000 But that's a mainstream belief. 0.96

00:25:12.000 So we thought, okay, let's go to the very end of that crazy equation and look at mass shootings, right?

00:25:17.000 And we found in the past 10 years, it's been about 14.

00:25:22.000 And Antifa responsible for one of them.

00:25:25.000 That's 10 dead in Ohio, was it?

00:25:28.000 Radical Islam, that's crystal clear. 0.99

00:25:30.000 Four shootings, 84 dead. 0.99

00:25:32.000 Mental illness, of course, dominates the charts.

00:25:35.000 But you know the problem with mental illness?

00:25:39.000 If you talk about it on the news, you have to criticize pharmaceutical companies like Dylan Roof and what's his name?

00:25:46.000 Adam.

00:25:47.000 What's that guy with the crazy eyes?

00:25:48.000 Adam Lanza?

00:25:49.000 Adam Lanza.

00:25:51.000 If you start talking about that on the news, you lose all your pharmaceutical advertisers.

00:25:54.000 And that's not good for business, which is another great thing about censored.tv, by the way.

00:25:58.000 We don't have to worry about pharmaceuticals. 0.96

00:26:00.000 Oh, shit, I forgot to mention our sponsor. 0.99

00:26:03.000 Our pharmaceutical. 1.00

00:26:05.000 Most of these kids who do these mass shootings are on CBD, but you won't hear that on censored.tv.

00:26:13.000 So the radical Islam category here, there's no controversy.

00:26:17.000 You know all these cases.

00:26:18.000 It's San Bernardino, it's the Pulse shooting.

00:26:22.000 Of course, I didn't include 9-11.

00:26:23.000 There'd be a few decimal places on the biggest one.

00:26:27.000 But the white supremacy, wait, I want to have a new look at.

00:26:33.000 So we got three shootings, 42 dead.

00:26:36.000 Four shootings, 84 dead. 0.69

00:26:38.000 And again, sorry to repeat myself, but Muslims are 1% of the population. 0.99

00:26:42.000 We're told white supremacists lurk around every corner. 0.98

00:26:45.000 So you should already, even by your crazy stats, be concerned that 1% is doing only twice as much damage. 0.98

00:26:52.000 Wait, twice as much damage as, what, 40%?

00:26:56.000 But let's re-look at these.

00:26:58.000 Can we re-look at those three white supremacy things?

00:27:02.000 11, 9, and what was the other one?

00:27:05.000 2?

00:27:06.000 No.

00:27:07.000 11, 9, and 9.

00:27:10.000 Wait, 11, 22, and 9.

00:27:11.000 11, 22, and 9.

00:27:13.000 Okay, so what are the white supremacy shootings?

00:27:15.000 Okay, El Paso.

00:27:16.000 El Paso.

00:27:17.000 He's a 22.

00:27:18.000 Yeah.

00:27:20.000 I'm not really...

00:27:24.000 Weren't his politics like totally not aligned with the right at all?

00:27:28.000 It was pretty lefty.

00:27:29.000 And are we out of articles here?

00:27:31.000 Aren't you logged into New York Times?

00:27:33.000 No, this is it.

00:27:34.000 That's a full article.

00:27:34.000 Oh, okay.

00:27:35.000 But it says you have three articles left.

00:27:38.000 Oh.

00:27:39.000 Anyway, this guy was against immigration.

00:27:42.000 Lots of Mexicans are against immigration.

00:27:45.000 I've seen studies that show 30% of American Hispanics who are citizens and are middle class are against illegal immigration.

00:27:57.000 So it's not really a white supremacy thing.

00:28:00.000 And most people against immigration are against Bosnians, Chechnyans, all kinds of Eastern Europeans coming in here.

00:28:12.000 They don't get that specific, really.

00:28:14.000 Pat Buchanan said, who would assimilate better, a thousand Zulus or a thousand Englishmen?

00:28:20.000 But outside of that, it's not a common argument you hear.

00:28:25.000 Like Ann Coulter says, stop everything.

00:28:27.000 I don't care where they're from.

00:28:29.000 I don't care if they're PhDs from England.

00:28:32.000 So to call a shooting about immigration a perfect example of white supremacy, I'm crossing it off the list.

00:28:41.000 So what was that?

00:28:42.000 That was, what number was that?

00:28:44.000 That was 22 of them.

00:28:45.000 Okay.

00:28:46.000 22 killed.

00:28:47.000 This one would be 11 at the synagogue shooting?

00:28:47.000 22.

00:28:51.000 Again, white supremacy?

00:28:55.000 I mean, aren't Jews white?

00:28:58.000 We had the black Hebrew Israelites. 0.99

00:29:00.000 Right now, there is a massive scourge of black people attacking Jews. 1.00

00:29:07.000 Actually, we just had black people attacking this Chinese woman with a mask on because she must have the disease, the Huan virus, the coronavirus, which I've always said was a virus. 1.00

00:29:21.000 It's a disgusting beer. 0.99

00:29:22.000 It tastes like wet cardboard. 0.93

00:29:26.000 Yeah, no one is talking about this at all in New York.

00:29:29.000 Go back to the front, the top.

00:29:31.000 I'm trying to see if there's a video.

00:29:33.000 Yeah, but let me see the title.

00:29:34.000 Oh, coronavirus hate attack.

00:29:37.000 Woman in face mask allegedly assaulted by man who calls her.

00:29:40.000 A man.

00:29:40.000 It was not a man.

00:29:41.000 It was like five black teenagers. 0.91

00:29:44.000 Man.

00:29:46.000 Equaling one man.

00:29:48.000 It was a youth.

00:29:49.000 Oh, got the video.

00:29:52.000 This wouldn't even be that much of a story if they didn't have the video.

00:29:55.000 Warning people at home.

00:30:01.000 Oh, look at that man.

00:30:02.000 No, no, no, no, no.

00:30:03.000 Come on. 1.00

00:30:03.000 Don't fucking touch me. 1.00

00:30:04.000 Don't stop. 1.00

00:30:07.000 Don't fucking touch me. 1.00

00:30:09.000 Don't touch me. 1.00

00:30:10.000 All right, you can start by not hitting me.

00:30:14.000 Don't touch someone you don't want to be touched.

00:30:16.000 Maybe it is just one guy.

00:30:18.000 Has he got a knife?

00:30:18.000 No, you can see someone else coming around the corner.

00:30:22.000 They all seem to be armed. 0.99

00:30:23.000 Oh my God, this woman has a disease. 1.00

00:30:25.000 Let me start stabbing and punching her. 1.00

00:30:27.000 Don't come around here no more. 1.00

00:30:32.000 But yeah, so there's a massive problem with black on Jew violence in New York, which is horrible. 0.99

00:30:42.000 The media is even more horrible at reporting it accurately. 0.96

00:30:46.000 In fact, they say that the black Hebrew Israelites are sort of, what's the word they use?

00:30:53.000 Manifesting white supremacy somehow. 0.78

00:30:56.000 It's an example of white supremacy.

00:31:00.000 Anti-Semitism isn't blacks versus Jews.

00:31:02.000 Saying so hurts us all.

00:31:04.000 What? 0.90

00:31:05.000 Well, no one's saying the concept is that, but as far as the past six months goes in New York, it seems to be a predominantly black problem. 1.00

00:31:13.000 We have black teeniers in Williamsburg. 0.96

00:31:15.000 This is going to get us kicked off YouTube.

00:31:17.000 I'm trying to be as factual as possible.

00:31:20.000 And then we have the two shootings, the black Hebrew-Israelite shootings.

00:31:23.000 Anyway, my point of all of that is to say, is anti-Semitism, which I'm against, I'm a Semite.

00:31:31.000 No, I'm not a Semite.

00:31:31.000 I'm a Zionist, pro-Semite Zionist.

00:31:34.000 I love Israel.

00:31:36.000 I love my Jays.

00:31:38.000 But is anti-Semitism white supremacy?

00:31:43.000 It's certainly not when it comes to the black Hebrew Israelites. 0.93

00:31:46.000 It's certainly not when it comes to these black teenagers attacking Hasidim in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

00:31:51.000 Certainly not in any of these clips. 0.63

00:31:53.000 So, no, you can't have that either.

00:31:58.000 You hear me?

00:32:00.000 So what do we got now?

00:32:01.000 We got 22, 11, and 9.

00:32:03.000 Yeah, what we have left for the 9.

00:32:04.000 Hold on, go back, go back.

00:32:05.000 So what was the 22?

00:32:08.000 22 was the first one.

00:32:11.000 What was that?

00:32:12.000 First one was the 11 dead for the synagogue. 0.77

00:32:19.000 11 dead for the synagogue. 0.93

00:32:20.000 I don't want to come across as I'm trivializing any of these, by the way. 1.00

00:32:23.000 They're all fucking horrific. 0.99

00:32:25.000 22 lives lost at El Paso. 1.00

00:32:28.000 El Paso.

00:32:29.000 So that was immigration.

00:32:30.000 Yes.

00:32:31.000 And then Dylann Roof Church Massacre, and I believe...

00:32:36.000 Yeah.

00:32:37.000 I'm sorry.

00:32:37.000 That's the remaining one?

00:32:40.000 I'm done.

00:32:42.000 This is not necessarily indicative of white supremacy. 1.00

00:32:48.000 This is a lunatic. 1.00

00:32:50.000 Look at his fucking face. 1.00

00:32:53.000 Now, I'm sorry to bring Michelle Malkin into this analogy, but I have to. 1.00

00:32:58.000 Michelle Malkin, if she was to be called a conservative, she is, I would say she's far right. 0.98

00:33:05.000 In fact, she hates most of the conservative movement, hence her new book, Conservative Inc.

00:33:13.000 If you were to allege that she's a conservative, you would have to prove it.

00:33:19.000 You would go through maybe this many best-selling books and article after article after speech after speech.

00:33:28.000 She has a canon.

00:33:30.000 She has a legacy.

00:33:32.000 She's well known in that community.

00:33:34.000 She's had back and forth.

00:33:35.000 She's had debates.

00:33:36.000 We have her on censored.tv arguing with Michael Eric Dyson, was it?

00:33:42.000 Yep.

00:33:42.000 Who was wearing an African garb?

00:33:45.000 No, no, no.

00:33:46.000 He was wearing a suit.

00:33:48.000 It is Roland Martin that was wearing the daishiki.

00:33:53.000 Yes. 0.98

00:33:54.000 Remember when Michael Eric Dyson was like, fucking with me because I'm a teenager with a little bit of gold and a pager. 1.00

00:34:05.000 Motherfucker got it bad because I'm brown. 1.00

00:34:09.000 Yeah, I'm familiar with NWA. 1.00

00:34:10.000 They have two arguments on that album, dude.

00:34:13.000 But he said it. 0.99

00:34:14.000 One is, why are cops fucking with me? 0.99

00:34:17.000 The other is, I never should have been let out the penitentiary. 1.00

00:34:20.000 Yeah, one of them is I kill cops. 0.91

00:34:22.000 One of them is I'm not just cops. 1.00

00:34:24.000 They talk about killing motherfuckers everywhere they go. 1.00

00:34:28.000 And then secondly, why are there cops everywhere? 1.00

00:34:31.000 It's like, I'm just a murderer who never should have been let out of the penitentiary.

00:34:36.000 And now I'm the bad guy.

00:34:38.000 Anyway, sorry.

00:34:39.000 The reason I bring up Michelle is to say Dylan Roof as a white supremacist, really?

00:34:47.000 Like, were people tuning into what Dylan Roof has to say? 1.00

00:34:50.000 Yes, he said stupid racist shit in his dumb manifesto. 1.00

00:34:55.000 Yes, he was carrying a Confederate flag in a picture. 1.00

00:34:57.000 He's also carrying a Gold's Gym flag.

00:35:01.000 I put him on the same plateau.

00:35:06.000 Same pedestal?

00:35:08.000 Panel?

00:35:09.000 Category Group?

00:35:10.000 Adam Lanza.

00:35:12.000 Be honest with yourself.

00:35:12.000 Come on.

00:35:14.000 Is Dylan Roof a white supremacist or is he a crazy supremacist? 0.94

00:35:19.000 So, I mean, I kind of got to redo that whole video because I'm done with those three. 0.96

00:35:25.000 I'm totally open to the threat of white nationalism.

00:35:29.000 And I'm totally open to you cutting accounts of people on social media if there's an imminent race war.

00:35:38.000 That sounds right to me.

00:35:40.000 Good.

00:35:40.000 Do that.

00:35:41.000 But not only is there not an imminent race war, there is an imminent racism.

00:35:47.000 You're making it up.

00:35:50.000 And I can't quite figure out why.

00:35:53.000 Like, I know with climate change, it makes sense to say, uh-oh, there's global warming, we're all going to die, because you get money when you say that. 0.91

00:36:01.000 But do you get money when you say white supremacists are the real problem? 0.84

00:36:06.000 Maybe because there's more of them? 0.95

00:36:07.000 I mean, Muslims are only 1% of the population.

00:36:09.000 When you say jihadists are an issue, it doesn't really pay the bills.

00:36:16.000 There's that chart of whiteness becoming more reported than ever. 0.93

00:36:19.000 Oh, that's a tough one to find. 1.00

00:36:20.000 I'll give you a blowjob if you can remember that one. 1.00

00:36:22.000 Ooh, searching. 1.00

00:36:24.000 Incentive town.

00:36:26.000 Do we do CBD yet or no?

00:36:29.000 No, I'm about to do it now.

00:36:30.000 Go to jacbd.com.

00:36:34.000 Johnny Apple CBD.

00:36:35.000 You see, it's a pun.

00:36:37.000 Johnny Apple Seed, Johnny Apple CBD.

00:36:40.000 You will not get high, but everything else wonderful about this particular gift from God is present in Johnny Apple CBD.

00:36:52.000 We've got the tincture.

00:36:54.000 We've got the gummies.

00:36:57.000 We've got the cookies.

00:36:59.000 We've got the topical.

00:37:00.000 Everyone in my gym uses a topical.

00:37:03.000 I did weights today.

00:37:04.000 I just did weight training, and I'm starting to feel the burn right now.

00:37:08.000 Tomorrow is going to be AIDS, and I'm going to CBD it up. 0.99

00:37:12.000 Yep.

00:37:13.000 So I can spar.

00:37:14.000 I CBD every morning with my coffee. 0.99

00:37:17.000 I fucking, I got to be honest. 0.99

00:37:19.000 I hate sparring. 0.99

00:37:21.000 Like today, my buddy Huey was like, I fucking got in it with Tommy Man. 0.98

00:37:26.000 We were brawling. 0.98

00:37:28.000 We were brawling.

00:37:29.000 It was crazy.

00:37:30.000 Coach Savenchi said, stop, stop, stop.

00:37:32.000 After the fourth round.

00:37:34.000 Like, he makes it sound like it was two dudes jamming.

00:37:36.000 Like, no.

00:37:40.000 You were in a fight.

00:37:43.000 That's terrible. 0.99

00:37:44.000 It's not fucking. 0.99

00:37:45.000 It's not like, I had her ankles like this. 0.99

00:37:48.000 It was fucking crazy, dude. 0.99

00:37:51.000 No, it's like, like, the punches fucking hurt. 1.00

00:37:56.000 Even with the headgear is bullshit, by the way. 0.99

00:37:58.000 The headgear only prevents you from getting cut with stitches and stuff, like on a glove. 0.99

00:38:03.000 You know what I mean?

00:38:04.000 It's still the same impact.

00:38:06.000 And I've noticed after I spar, I'll touch my forehead and my forehead kills.

00:38:12.000 Which brings us to our new show, Fighting with Larry Barnes.

00:38:16.000 He did such a great job on reporting on his fight with Felix Trinidad.

00:38:22.000 I'm just going to make him go through the greatest fights of all time.

00:38:27.000 Apparently, there was this guy named Merle Haggard, who was a big deal.

00:38:31.000 Do you know about this?

00:38:32.000 I hear your little joke that you tell every time you go there.

00:38:35.000 Well, couldn't you have gone with it and said, I think his name is Marvin Hagler?

00:38:39.000 Have you ever heard of a straight?

00:38:41.000 I thought it was Merle Haggard.

00:38:43.000 Wow.

00:38:44.000 So you thought Marvin Hagler's name was...

00:38:48.000 Because I thought it was the other name.

00:38:56.000 Do I get some sort of Special Olympics gold medal for working with you?

00:39:01.000 I think you should write it off in your taxes like this.

00:39:02.000 Yeah, shouldn't the government be paying me to hire you?

00:39:06.000 You give the guy a raise?

00:39:08.000 What if I work every day, all day?

00:39:11.000 That is not a raise. 0.97

00:39:14.000 Yeah, I guess technically that would be fucked up. 0.95

00:39:17.000 That looked like a nice. 0.92

00:39:18.000 Anyway, so we'll get Larry to go through that.

00:39:20.000 You know what would be funny too?

00:39:21.000 We'll have him do like a Tyson fight that's 30 seconds, and that episode will be 30 seconds long.

00:39:27.000 Wow.

00:39:27.000 And then other fights that are 15 rounds will be whatever it is, an hour.

00:39:31.000 Also, another new show, even though we're banned, and by the way, peace, Gary's Mailbag.

00:39:38.000 Yes.

00:39:39.000 Where a gentleman who surrounds the studio on a regular basis and is not your average beauty.

00:39:49.000 He's like a knot.

00:39:50.000 Eats Fritos and goes through our mailbag.

00:39:53.000 I got to give it to you, that was, there's magic there.

00:39:56.000 Yeah.

00:39:57.000 There's magic.

00:39:58.000 You don't understand how much of a genius I am.

00:40:00.000 What's that box?

00:40:02.000 That's a Fritos box.

00:40:03.000 Oh, this isn't the show.

00:40:04.000 This is like before when I'm giving him the Fritos.

00:40:08.000 That's all you get.

00:40:09.000 So anyway, he gets some Fritos and some money, and he reads the mailbag.

00:40:14.000 I'm there, too, to help guide him because he doesn't have a ton to offer as far as life advice, as you can imagine.

00:40:20.000 What are you talking about?

00:40:22.000 Wait, let's hear some of this.

00:40:25.000 Let me hear.

00:40:26.000 The spitting here.

00:40:29.000 Turn it up.

00:40:30.000 I have to read out everything.

00:40:34.000 All right.

00:40:36.000 This is behind the scenes.

00:40:38.000 Jesus Christ.

00:40:40.000 Well, so yeah.

00:40:41.000 So yeah.

00:40:42.000 That's worth the $10 alone.

00:40:46.000 Those.

00:40:46.000 Oh, and by the way, for him, he reads the letters, but when he reads, it's very slow.

00:40:53.000 And he seems to have a lot of trouble with words like gratitude.

00:40:58.000 He's methodical.

00:40:59.000 Yeah, no, he's phonetic.

00:41:01.000 Ah.

00:41:03.000 Well, he's both.

00:41:05.000 And so what we would appreciate if you would send into the show video letters.

00:41:12.000 Now, I know some of you are worried about being associated with those because you get banned just for whispering the word censored.tv in your head.

00:41:22.000 But we'd like you to send in these video ads and then we can show them to him.

00:41:27.000 And please do a horizontal next time, lady. 1.00

00:41:30.000 Then we can show them to him and then he'll respond accordingly.

00:41:34.000 That'll be much easier for him than reading.

00:41:36.000 Is that one you want to do?

00:41:37.000 Yeah, we got two in already.

00:41:40.000 Okay.

00:41:41.000 Well, so Gary will answer this.

00:41:46.000 Hi, Gavin and Ryan.

00:41:47.000 I guess this is your female demographic. 0.99

00:41:50.000 I'm a 35-year-old, happily married mother of three.

00:41:53.000 And I have some advice for all the men that want to have more sex with their wives, especially Gavin, as you might know, women have a hard time after having a baby, getting back into things. 1.00

00:42:03.000 It's really simple advice.

00:42:05.000 It's a TV show called Outlander.

00:42:07.000 And it's super sexy romance.

00:42:11.000 Pretty much geared at women, but men seem to like it too.

00:42:13.000 But trust me, get her interested in this show.

00:42:16.000 It takes a couple episodes to get into, but it will not fail you.

00:42:19.000 It's done wonders for me.

00:42:21.000 All my friends that I know love it.

00:42:23.000 Which leads me to my next point.

00:42:24.000 There's no female romance movies anymore. 1.00

00:42:28.000 This is one that's great.

00:42:30.000 And it also has Scottish history, which might be good for Gavin.

00:42:33.000 It might annoy you as well if it's not totally accurate.

00:42:36.000 But you might like it.

00:42:36.000 I don't know.

00:42:37.000 Anyway, give it a try.

00:42:38.000 Thanks.

00:42:39.000 Love you guys.

00:42:39.000 Bye.

00:42:40.000 Where is she?

00:42:41.000 In her closet.

00:42:42.000 She's hiding from her kids. 0.78

00:42:44.000 Yeah.

00:42:45.000 Have you ever seen Outlander?

00:42:47.000 No, no.

00:42:48.000 We can't show it or this will be banned.

00:42:50.000 Oh, yes, yes, yes.

00:42:51.000 We do check it out.

00:42:52.000 Anyway, after that.

00:42:53.000 There's one more if you.

00:42:53.000 You get the idea.

00:42:55.000 Okay, what's this guy got to say?

00:42:57.000 Let's see.

00:42:58.000 Big old beardy guy.

00:43:01.000 What's up, G-Dog?

00:43:03.000 Yo, what's up?

00:43:03.000 Brian from South Carolina.

00:43:05.000 I'm not.

00:43:06.000 Just wanted to send you a message saying thank you for everything you do.

00:43:10.000 It's just fucking awesome to have a show that I can go to that is not ashamed of being masculine and promoting masculinity and proving that the West is the best. 0.62

00:43:23.000 Wait, is he in a kindergarten? 0.97

00:43:27.000 Look at the background.

00:43:29.000 He's got some FFJJ in it.

00:43:32.000 Get that in here for Gary. 0.98

00:43:34.000 I've been teaching these kids for fucking 20 years now. 1.00

00:43:38.000 Most of them are pussies. 1.00

00:43:42.000 Most of my pre-K class doesn't know what the fuck time it is. 1.00

00:43:46.000 Thank you, Uhoo Roo. 0.99

00:43:49.000 And I like you more than a friend.

00:43:50.000 Right up.

00:43:52.000 But those, maybe, folks, maybe I should have been clear.

00:43:56.000 I appreciate both those letters. 0.88

00:43:58.000 And we will, after the paywall, get more involved in showing shit like Outlander and decide if it's sexy enough for us.

00:44:09.000 But we want to direct it to Gary. 0.84

00:44:12.000 So I guess you don't know Gary yet, right?

00:44:15.000 No, that announcement came within the episode, and it was impossible for them to have known that.

00:44:15.000 They don't know that yet.

00:44:19.000 But correct.

00:44:20.000 You know, we get people getting in the habit of it.

00:44:22.000 By the way, this just came in.

00:44:26.000 They tried to send sensor.tv, and then look at the two little exclamation points in red.

00:44:33.000 Operation could not be completed.

00:44:34.000 Look at that.

00:44:35.000 Yeah, that's what we talked about.

00:44:37.000 Yeah, but seeing it in a DM, I thought that was kind of funny.

00:44:42.000 I wasn't lying.

00:44:44.000 Until you see it, you're like, nah, maybe one person have seen that, but wowee.

00:44:49.000 Yeah, I know what you mean.

00:44:52.000 We forgot to promote Cavefe.

00:44:55.000 Our favorite coffee that we drink here every day at the studio.

00:45:02.000 It's delicious.

00:45:03.000 Right.

00:45:03.000 Why don't we pull up the website or I'll get the bags?

00:45:07.000 No, we don't really need the bags.

00:45:08.000 Just pull up the website so people can see where to go.

00:45:11.000 Because we're almost done here.

00:45:14.000 We're about to go behind the paywall and take some calls.

00:45:17.000 Yeah.

00:45:19.000 That's going to be fun.

00:45:20.000 And I'm going to take some mail in front of the paywall because a lot of you cheapskates at my gym, Hydroman, if you're listening, Don't listen, don't pay for the show or even ask me for a free code at the gym.

00:45:38.000 So they don't know, they haven't heard letters in a while.

00:45:42.000 So that's Cafe.

00:45:43.000 C-O-V-E-F-E. 1.00

00:45:48.000 C-O-V-F-E-F-E. 1.00

00:45:49.000 C-O-V-F-E F-E.

00:45:50.000 What's the URL?

00:45:52.000 The URL is doyucafe.com.

00:45:55.000 If you show it.

00:45:56.000 But if you search Cafe Coffee, you will find it.

00:46:00.000 Hopefully.

00:46:00.000 There we go.

00:46:01.000 So we drink that every day.

00:46:02.000 It's the official sponsor of this.

00:46:05.000 Uh-oh, my application's not responding.

00:46:07.000 That's actually good because it gives us some time for you to find the little song that we play before we answer the mail.

00:46:16.000 This one?

00:46:17.000 No, I don't. 1.00

00:46:18.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a death. 0.99

00:46:22.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbox. 1.00

00:46:28.000 Let me touch it.

00:46:33.000 This is from Senator Doug Jones.

00:46:35.000 I am turning to you, Gavin.

00:46:37.000 Last night I voted to convict Donald Trump on both charges brought against him by the House.

00:46:41.000 This was far from an easy decision.

00:46:43.000 My vote was not made based on part of the blah blah. 0.99

00:46:46.000 Yeah, I signed up to the DNC's junk mail to see what the enemies are up to, and I can't unsubscribe.

00:46:54.000 There's no unsubscribe button.

00:46:57.000 And like, if you don't wish to receive emails from the DNC, submit this form to unsubscribe. 0.94

00:47:04.000 And then you go there and you have to log in and update your, I don't remember any of this shit. 0.97

00:47:10.000 So I deeply regret subscribing to the DNC because it's like three fucking emails a day, which I know doesn't sound like a lot, but they add up. 0.97

00:47:20.000 And it's always like, hey, Gavin, I'm Barack Obama. 1.00

00:47:23.000 And you go, oh, shit. 1.00

00:47:24.000 Finally, he responds. 1.00

00:47:27.000 All right, let's get down to the nitty-gritty here.

00:47:29.000 You ready? 1.00

00:47:31.000 Stupid rally idea. 1.00

00:47:34.000 This week we were talking about the stupidest rallies of clown worlds, basically since Trump was elected. 1.00

00:47:41.000 We went through 10. 1.00

00:47:43.000 Going to Tucker Carlson's house to say that you don't want any borders, any wall, any USA at all.

00:47:48.000 So going to Tucker Carlson's house to say no USA at all is pretty good. 0.83

00:47:56.000 Assuming that a We the People rally to celebrate the Constitution was actually celebrating a synagogue shooting was a doozy.

00:48:03.000 Pretending that Proud Boys were going to celebrate the knife murder of Nia Wilson, that was a doozy. 0.72

00:48:12.000 But for me personally, I think the most ridiculous protest of this epoch was going to Mike Pence's house, Work for Peace, W-E-R-K. 1.00

00:48:27.000 It's a homosexual dancing man who shakes his tiny ass like anyone's looking at it. 1.00

00:48:32.000 Torquing involves a big, fat, black ass. 1.00

00:48:36.000 When you're a little white Jewish guy and you're torquing, that's not the point. 1.00

00:48:40.000 You're missing it. 0.96

00:48:42.000 It's like being in a wheelchair and crunking. 0.99

00:48:46.000 You're not doing it right.

00:48:48.000 But anyway, this guy was outraged that a Muslim man killed, whatever, 40 people.

00:48:55.000 How many was it?

00:48:56.000 The Pulse Nightclub?

00:48:57.000 Pulse Nightclub.

00:48:57.000 49 and then 50.

00:49:00.000 49 or 50 people murdered dead.

00:49:02.000 Almost 100 shot.

00:49:07.000 Well, that's going to get us kicked off YouTube.

00:49:08.000 Wait, that's on YouTube.

00:49:10.000 But that will get us kicked off.

00:49:13.000 Rogan doesn't even do it.

00:49:14.000 So he doesn't even make out with dudes. 1.00

00:49:16.000 What a pussy. 1.00

00:49:21.000 50 people dead. 1.00

00:49:23.000 And this guy, this twerker, he decides, well, we have a homophobia problem. 0.99

00:49:30.000 When a Muslim kills gays, does your first mind go, America has a homophobia problem? 0.99

00:49:37.000 Or do you go, maybe Islam does? 1.00

00:49:40.000 Maybe it's a jihadi thing. 0.99

00:49:43.000 And so he decides, instead of, I'm going to start dancing and showing people that it's great to be gay. 0.96

00:49:49.000 Wait a minute, is he Muslim?

00:49:52.000 Is his background?

00:49:53.000 No, it's Jewish, Jewish.

00:49:55.000 That's Israeli.

00:49:57.000 So I'm going to show these homophobes that they're wrong about dancing. 0.93

00:50:04.000 First of all, that guy didn't go to that nightclub because he didn't like gays dancing. 0.81

00:50:07.000 He went there because he didn't like gays and he knew they'd likely be the gay nightclub. 1.00

00:50:12.000 So this is why I think this is the stupidest demonstration there is. 1.00

00:50:18.000 It wasn't about your dancing. 1.00

00:50:19.000 It was about your sexuality.

00:50:21.000 And you got the wrong guys. 0.98

00:50:22.000 It was jihadists who don't like your homosexuality. 0.99

00:50:25.000 So if you want to do what you're doing, be gay and maybe dance, but even you don't even have to dance. 0.99

00:50:30.000 Just be like gay and go to mosques, go to Dearborn, Michigan, go to Islamberg, and just be a, just go twerk there. 1.00

00:50:41.000 But instead, they look at the Pulse nightclub shooting and they blame Mike Pence. 1.00

00:50:48.000 So then they go and dance and this Jewish guy shakes his tiny ass in front of Mike Pence's house. 0.99

00:50:54.000 And when asked why, they talk about how we just show that there's a space for us to control our bodies and to show that we have ownership of who we are and we will always exist. 0.99

00:51:06.000 What?

00:51:07.000 Sounds like Donald Sutherland in an animal house.

00:51:10.000 Stoned.

00:51:12.000 Work for peace.

00:51:13.000 If you can find an interview with that guy, it's stunning.

00:51:17.000 Anyway, this is from Dan McMillan.

00:51:22.000 Please don't use my last name on the show as I work in law.

00:51:25.000 Oh, and we're live.

00:51:29.000 Just kidding, made up that name.

00:51:31.000 Oh, nice.

00:51:31.000 Really?

00:51:32.000 Yes, Ryan.

00:51:34.000 Hey, G-Dog and Rye Guy.

00:51:35.000 The show on the channel are great.

00:51:36.000 Blah, blah, blah.

00:51:37.000 Your discussion of ridiculous protests from Tuesday got me thinking about a funny sketch or living art project idea.

00:51:43.000 One group is having a rally for everything, and there's a counter-protest group of protest of everything people.

00:51:49.000 Boy, this is why cops shouldn't get involved in sketch comedy. 0.50

00:51:53.000 One group is having a quote-unquote rally for everything, and there is a counter-protest group of Protest of everything.

00:52:02.000 That's not proper grammar, dude.

00:52:07.000 The rally for everything guys are happy and explain they mostly support good things, but they want to be inclusive of everything, literally everything. 0.95

00:52:15.000 The protesters are cantankerous and have the fuck everything attitude often displayed by uniformed leftists. 0.84

00:52:22.000 I imagine the rally leader and counter-protest leader in a back-and-forth argument like this. 1.00

00:52:27.000 Why am I reading this shitty bitch? 1.00

00:52:29.000 You hate everything? 1.00

00:52:31.000 You're protesting against puppies and ice cream?

00:52:33.000 You guys are rallying for wet socks and eating cold french fries.

00:52:36.000 You hate rainbows.

00:52:37.000 You like tornadoes.

00:52:38.000 Eventually devolving into, well, you were supporting Nazis. 0.57

00:52:41.000 Well, you were protesting against Islam, Christianity, and atheism.

00:52:44.000 You like genocide.

00:52:45.000 You dislike ending genocide.

00:52:47.000 You get the picture. 1.00

00:52:48.000 Maybe it's a stupid idea, but it gave me a chupple. 1.00

00:52:50.000 Chuckle. 1.00

00:52:50.000 Give up the hard work. 1.00

00:52:51.000 I think the funniest thing about that whole pitch was me pronouncing chuckle chupple.

00:52:56.000 Yes, you did.

00:52:57.000 I thought he might have typed it that way.

00:53:00.000 But you know what's funny about your joke here, which is not great, by the way, Joey.

00:53:04.000 Oops.

00:53:11.000 This is where we're at.

00:53:13.000 Like with anti-fascists, they go, if you are not anti-fascist, then you're pro-fascist.

00:53:20.000 It's very simple.

00:53:22.000 It's in the name.

00:53:23.000 So to be against anti-fascism is to be for fascism.

00:53:28.000 So if you are not pro-life, you're against life.

00:53:33.000 By that logic.

00:53:38.000 You know what?

00:53:38.000 Okay.

00:53:39.000 I've marked some special letters with a blue flag.

00:53:44.000 Ready for this one?

00:53:45.000 It's the flower of life.

00:53:47.000 It's one of the oldest symbols in the world.

00:53:51.000 That's how my youngest boy talks.

00:53:53.000 I'm all boogles.

00:53:55.000 Now you know this is one of the oldest symbols.

00:54:00.000 Look at this one.

00:54:02.000 You turn around.

00:54:04.000 We just got that from somebody.

00:54:06.000 That's great.

00:54:07.000 They made it for us.

00:54:08.000 I don't think I can.

00:54:11.000 It's not clear he's saying turnaround.

00:54:13.000 I'm not sure anything can compete with Otis Simbos. 0.99

00:54:16.000 You think it's that good?

00:54:17.000 What about this?

00:54:18.000 Wait, what's the first recorded moment a Sambo existed? 1.00

00:54:27.000 Like, maybe it was ancient Greece.

00:54:30.000 First Sambo ever? 0.99

00:54:31.000 You'd have to look up Sambo on Wikipedia maybe and look up origins.

00:54:35.000 When was Sambo?

00:54:36.000 Well, technically, Sambo, the martial art.

00:54:38.000 No.

00:54:39.000 Thanks for helping.

00:54:41.000 Thanks for helping, Ryan.

00:54:42.000 Maybe I should just do it.

00:54:43.000 Black America Web.

00:54:45.000 This is probably a good.

00:54:47.000 So what you do is you look up Sambo. 0.94

00:54:51.000 The racial term Sambo first came to prominence in modern American culture with the publishing of Harriet Beecher Stowe's anti-slavery book, Uncle Tom's Cabin.

00:54:58.000 However, the origin of the term reaches back to the 1700s, according to some scholars.

00:55:02.000 And there's even evidence that the name is a variation of a West African name as well.

00:55:06.000 But it sounds like, to be realistic, the Otis Sambo is in Uncle Tom's cabin.

00:55:14.000 In literature, sure.

00:55:15.000 But the Otis Simbae What did he just say?

00:55:21.000 The symbols.

00:55:22.000 The symbols.

00:55:23.000 This is good.

00:55:25.000 You're getting like Fred level.

00:55:26.000 Now, you know, this is one of the Otis symbols. 0.98

00:55:32.000 I don't like the butt chick. 1.00

00:55:35.000 Dear Gavin and Ryan. 0.73

00:55:39.000 Now, this may or may not be a letter that I sent to Gary for Gary's mailbag, our new hit show, but I'm going to answer it because, believe it or not, Gary does not do a phenomenal job.

00:55:52.000 Dear Gavin and Ryan, my husband and I have been married for three years with a total of seven years together, if counting your years dating.

00:55:57.000 In our dating life, we had a healthy and very active sex life.

00:56:00.000 Once we got married, I got pregnant with our first kid, and he didn't touch me for nine months. 0.99

00:56:08.000 Now, if she's turgid and ready to pop, I get not wanting to do it because you don't want the dick like going rep, reint, romp, reint right by the baby's head. 0.98

00:56:19.000 And even if that's not what's going to happen, you don't even want to think about it. 0.97

00:56:24.000 So I understand like when she's really showing, but nine months.

00:56:31.000 Women aren't showing for four months? 1.00

00:56:36.000 After giving birth, our sex life came back for a bit, but went away again these last six to eight months.

00:56:42.000 I'm currently pregnant again with our second kid, and the dry spell is worse than ever.

00:56:45.000 My sex drive is normally high, but abnormally high during pregnancy.

00:56:50.000 I've tried coming on to him and being sexy, but he's not interested.

00:56:53.000 Being rejected several times a week is really getting to me.

00:56:56.000 He jokes about watching porn, but when I ask him in all seriousness, he says he isn't watching it.

00:57:04.000 I've tried to approach the situation lightly, but I'm hesitant to really dig in to find the problem, as I don't want to feel pushy or needy.

00:57:12.000 That's fair. 0.98

00:57:13.000 Last night I jokingly said, oh, I watch porn every night and rather than fucking my wife, even though she wants it all the time, after he made a joke about heading home to watch porn. 0.99

00:57:22.000 I don't know if porn is the problem or if he has something medically going on. 0.99

00:57:26.000 He says he's very much attracted to me, even pregnant, but I'm not feeling it.

00:57:30.000 Do you have any advice on appropriately approaching the subject that there might be a problem, porn medically or otherwise?

00:57:36.000 Sincerely, Jennifer.

00:57:38.000 Jen. 0.95

00:57:40.000 Oops, I keep saying these actual names.

00:57:43.000 I should not be drinking during this show. 0.99

00:57:46.000 Speaking of which, you got a fucking brewski there, brah? 0.99

00:57:48.000 Yes, dude. 1.00

00:57:50.000 Fucking. 0.99

00:57:54.000 You should see what Ryan's wearing, by the way. 0.99

00:57:55.000 He's got a Carhartt jacket, a V-neck t-shirt tucked into dress slacks, bright red socks, and then brown dress shoes.

00:58:09.000 So what's his job?

00:58:11.000 Why don't you show a wide of what you're wearing?

00:58:15.000 Why are you wide?

00:58:18.000 But put your foot on my desk.

00:58:24.000 Well, maybe you young people like that.

00:58:26.000 This is cool.

00:58:27.000 I got the red socks idea from you.

00:58:30.000 Yeah, with a suit that has red accents.

00:58:34.000 Lady, he's lying. 1.00

00:58:37.000 He's watching tons of porn. 0.99

00:58:40.000 In fact, he's having an affair. 1.00

00:58:44.000 Is it that different fucking a computer? 1.00

00:58:47.000 No. 0.99

00:58:48.000 I mean, they say emotional affairs are even worse when you like flirt with someone at work or something and you talk, you're like, right?

00:58:58.000 Isn't porn an emotional affair?

00:59:02.000 So he's pretending he's not.

00:59:04.000 The reason it's coming up in your jokes, by the way, is because you inherently know I'm right.

00:59:09.000 So what do you do?

00:59:12.000 You're not going to divorce him, obviously, but it's like, it's exactly like any other addiction.

00:59:18.000 Like say he was an alcoholic and you caught him opening up the fuse box and taking a sip of a flask and putting it away.

00:59:25.000 Dude, I know a guy like that.

00:59:27.000 Oddly specific.

00:59:28.000 No, I know a guy like that.

00:59:29.000 That's why I brought it up.

00:59:32.000 My buddy's friend's sister.

00:59:37.000 Anyway, it gets involved.

00:59:39.000 But her husband was a sipper. 0.96

00:59:43.000 Do you know about this?

00:59:44.000 They just, uh-huh, they go hit the bottle.

00:59:46.000 They don't sit there and go, oh, go, go, go, go, go.

00:59:48.000 But they stash bottles all over the house, and they have their bars.

00:59:52.000 And so they'll nip down, do a shot, then they'll open the fuse box, chug this, put that away, go down, oh, I better check the furnace.

00:59:59.000 And then there's a bottle there.

01:00:00.000 They're making a Long Island iced on their stump.

01:00:02.000 They have an Easter egg hunt.

01:00:05.000 They have an Easter egg hunt of booze in their house.

01:00:08.000 And this guy was getting so bad. 0.97

01:00:10.000 He fucking hit his head on the sort of side, what do you call that? 0.98

01:00:15.000 That's on the baseboard. 0.99

01:00:17.000 Hit his head on the baseboard so hard, it opened up.

01:00:19.000 He passed out.

01:00:20.000 There's a puddle.

01:00:21.000 He showed me a picture on his phone.

01:00:22.000 There was a puddle of blood, which looks black when you see real blood.

01:00:27.000 Puddles of blood.

01:00:28.000 I can deal with most blood. 0.96

01:00:29.000 Puddles suck. 0.87

01:00:30.000 Puddles of blood are black. 0.98

01:00:32.000 Puddles of mud are bad.

01:00:33.000 They're just like, take blood, then go into Photoshop, then go into levels, take out the white, pump up the black, pump up the contrast, then hit save.

01:00:47.000 That sounds like somebody who just worked really hard on a really great Photoshop.

01:00:52.000 I'm very happy with it, actually.

01:00:53.000 I've been in Photoshop for the past two days.

01:00:56.000 And that advice I used to spend, that was my job.

01:00:59.000 There's literally nothing that I designed.

01:01:00.000 I designed Vice for decades.

01:01:03.000 Good point.

01:01:03.000 Aren't you going to show my incredible work of art?

01:01:06.000 I'm looking for it, yes.

01:01:07.000 I emailed it to you.

01:01:08.000 Yes, you did.

01:01:08.000 Why don't you go to all your inboxes rather than focus on one type of inbox?

01:01:13.000 I got it.

01:01:14.000 Hey?

01:01:14.000 I got it.

01:01:16.000 Oh, no, I'm only on mine.

01:01:18.000 Just to narrow it down, but dude, I got a lot of...

01:01:25.000 What were we talking about?

01:01:27.000 Oh, my God.

01:01:28.000 My arm just looked like Jason Maurer's in that Super Bowl ad where he takes off his muscular arm.

01:01:34.000 You know why I lifted 9 million pounds today.

01:01:37.000 Here we go.

01:01:38.000 There it is.

01:01:43.000 Very nice.

01:01:44.000 What a masterpiece.

01:01:45.000 That looks like a colorful cartoon cast of characters.

01:01:50.000 Cavalcade.

01:01:52.000 I had to, you know, Milo's suit was cut off. 1.00

01:01:54.000 Oh, shit. 0.98

01:01:55.000 I got to fix that a bit. 0.99

01:01:56.000 You see his white shirt isn't perfect.

01:01:58.000 And then Biggs' gun was cropped, so I had to design the head of his gun in Photoshop.

01:02:05.000 Oh, wow.

01:02:06.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.99

01:02:07.000 And then Laura wouldn't give me a fucking picture. 1.00

01:02:11.000 Chicks go, I'd rather do a photo shoot. 1.00

01:02:13.000 Just like with Copper Cab, he sent me about 40 in one minute. 0.99

01:02:18.000 Anyway, so yeah, this guy is fucking lying to you. 0.99

01:02:24.000 Now, the question is, what's the punishment? 0.99

01:02:27.000 That's tricky. 0.99

01:02:29.000 Like, stop watching porn or I would say put him in the doghouse. 0.99

01:02:35.000 I can't believe I'm betraying my gender and I might get kicked out of the National Male Society for this. 0.99

01:02:41.000 But I would say, I mean, I'd put in the doghouse for much less. 0.99

01:02:44.000 You're jeopardizing your marriage by being addicted to porn.

01:02:47.000 And that guy with the blood puddle, he went to rehab.

01:02:51.000 I don't think she ever got over it.

01:02:53.000 Because they have kids together. 1.00

01:02:55.000 So his kids were in jeopardy when he was that fucking shit-faced. 1.00

01:03:02.000 I think you should not let him sleep in the same bed as you for three days. 1.00

01:03:08.000 And here's the key. 0.77

01:03:09.000 Tell him that this is about your porn addiction.

01:03:13.000 What? 0.99

01:03:15.000 Don't even watch porn. 1.00

01:03:17.000 I would put all your eggs in that basket. 1.00

01:03:19.000 Because even if on the one in 50 chance he's not addicted to porn, he'll be like, wow, shit is so bad she thinks I'm addicted to porn. 1.00

01:03:28.000 Hmm. 0.99

01:03:30.000 Oh my god, I feel kind of weird about that.

01:03:30.000 Good point.

01:03:33.000 Well, I feel like a snitch.

01:03:36.000 I don't feel good. 0.91

01:03:40.000 You know the problem with porn too?

01:03:42.000 What? 0.52

01:03:43.000 There was too much of indecence.

01:03:46.000 You hear that?

01:03:48.000 I heard it.

01:03:51.000 I'm trying to find a really good one I got.

01:03:53.000 Oh, there's a great one from a heterosexual priest saying don't give up on Catholicism.

01:03:58.000 But I found this chick who is in a relationship with this guy. 0.68

01:04:10.000 It was flagged, right?

01:04:12.000 I flagged it. 0.93

01:04:15.000 Now I can't fucking find it, yo. 0.94

01:04:18.000 Why don't you talk for a while, Ryan? 0.98

01:04:19.000 right?

01:04:20.000 Well, If you go to jacbd.com, I forgot to mention how important it is that you use the promo code Gavin.

01:04:33.000 Yes, Gavin gets you 20% off, I believe.

01:04:39.000 If you could aim the mic towards your mouth a little more.

01:04:41.000 Okay, I'll try to aim the mic to my mouth a little bit.

01:04:44.000 You know what I did?

01:04:45.000 I put it in scent.

01:04:46.000 So yeah, go to jacbd.com.

01:04:48.000 Use the promo code Gavin.

01:04:49.000 We have gummies, tincture.

01:04:51.000 Vaporizers.

01:04:53.000 Oh, my God.

01:04:54.000 It's easy to say what we don't have.

01:04:54.000 You know what?

01:04:57.000 Topicals.

01:04:58.000 Oh, wait.

01:04:58.000 They do have topicals.

01:05:01.000 Cartridges for your vapor pens.

01:05:03.000 You got isolates and waxes.

01:05:05.000 Now, I've not looked into this.

01:05:06.000 Let's give a little peek.

01:05:08.000 I remember I sent her the poster for get out.

01:05:11.000 Found it.

01:05:12.000 Nice.

01:05:13.000 Subject line.

01:05:14.000 Okay, this is from Stéphanie Lemieux.

01:05:18.000 Okay, that's that's a little rough for me.

01:05:19.000 And remember, I am always changing the names, but it is a French name.

01:05:23.000 Okay, you ready for this?

01:05:25.000 Okay.

01:05:26.000 And then we're going to kill the live show, free show, and we're going to go to calls.

01:05:32.000 Do I need to follow along?

01:05:33.000 Any links?

01:05:35.000 No.

01:05:36.000 Okay.

01:05:37.000 I'm very glad I found this.

01:05:40.000 Dear Gavin Rye Guy.

01:05:42.000 Which I don't like.

01:05:44.000 What do I have to do with any of this?

01:05:46.000 No one says dear Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon.

01:05:46.000 You're my sidekick.

01:05:49.000 Dear Johnny and Ed.

01:05:50.000 That's true.

01:05:52.000 You're taking over my show.

01:05:53.000 No.

01:05:54.000 You're stealing my thunder.

01:05:56.000 Look at the shirt proportions.

01:05:57.000 I'm a little guy.

01:05:58.000 Yeah, why are you even on it?

01:06:00.000 If you had a Johnny Carson shirt, it would just be Johnny Carson.

01:06:00.000 I don't know.

01:06:04.000 You just doing the thing.

01:06:06.000 At least I'm not Andy Richter.

01:06:08.000 No one's worse than Andy Richter.

01:06:10.000 Dude, Hodge told me he likes Andy Richter.

01:06:13.000 I was like, I don't think we're friends anymore.

01:06:14.000 Hodge is done.

01:06:17.000 I mean, dude, I'm sure he's a nice guy.

01:06:17.000 Right?

01:06:19.000 I was watching Strangers with Candy, and I saw his wife standing next to a giant sign that said divorce. 0.96

01:06:26.000 Wow.

01:06:27.000 And I thought, God, I wish I was on Twitter and I could just send this to him.

01:06:31.000 You can use the sensor.tv.

01:06:32.000 Oh, okay, never mind.

01:06:34.000 How dare you?

01:06:36.000 Now, she played a lesbian coach on Strangers with Candy, and this is 20 years ago, way before she even met Andy Richter. 1.00

01:06:48.000 But I just wish that I could shit on him. 0.99

01:06:52.000 I'm sending it to you now. 0.99

01:06:53.000 Okay.

01:06:55.000 Because he won't shut up about morality and families, and Trump has the kids in cages. 1.00

01:07:02.000 Like, yeah, you let your marriage go down the fucking toilet. 1.00

01:07:05.000 And now your kids have 50% of the parents they used to have. 1.00

01:07:09.000 So maybe don't.

01:07:10.000 This is what's amazing about comedians.

01:07:12.000 And I'm sorry, but even dead comedians like Stephen Brody Stevens, this is not a very popular opinion.

01:07:18.000 I love Stephen Brody.

01:07:19.000 He was a great comedian, funny guy, but he sat there telling us all day how to live and love.

01:07:24.000 And this is what's important to make your day go great.

01:07:26.000 Be positive.

01:07:27.000 Positive push.

01:07:28.000 Be positive.

01:07:29.000 Yes.

01:07:30.000 Why are you telling me how to live my life? 1.00

01:07:32.000 You're dead and you killed yourself. 1.00

01:07:35.000 Or Gary Goleman, another guy. 0.99

01:07:37.000 Here's some tips on how to be a great comedian.

01:07:40.000 You're not really that popular.

01:07:42.000 And you almost killed yourself too. 0.97

01:07:44.000 You went to a loony bin for depression. 1.00

01:07:47.000 Like all these comedians have these shitty lives. 0.99

01:07:49.000 If they have kids, they have like one outside of Jim Gaffigan. 0.98

01:07:54.000 And Jim Gaffigan doesn't preach to you and tell you how to live your life.

01:07:57.000 So when you see comedians telling you how to live your life and saying, this is all you have to do, you have to stay positive and write these jokes and do this with your life.

01:08:05.000 And this has to be the way that the country is run.

01:08:08.000 And this is what we have to do with healthcare.

01:08:10.000 They're really just sort of pep talking themselves because they're on the verge of depression.

01:08:15.000 Still nothing. 0.99

01:08:16.000 Oh, I fucking hate that. 0.99

01:08:18.000 It just takes Ferevskis. 1.00

01:08:20.000 It is so frustrating.

01:08:22.000 I like being able to at least yell at the computer when it's not doing something. 0.99

01:08:27.000 Usually I'm the one fucking things up, but this computer shit is. 0.97

01:08:30.000 Maybe when you get it, when we do show this on the show, folks, you can do a screen grab. 0.99

01:08:34.000 And next time he says something stupid about families, you can send him this. 0.99

01:08:37.000 Just to hurt him. 1.00

01:08:38.000 And being good at it, if you will. 0.77

01:08:40.000 All right.

01:08:41.000 This is a fun letter.

01:08:42.000 My favorite letter of the week.

01:08:43.000 My favorite letter of the week.

01:08:49.000 I can't believe.

01:08:50.000 Shakira, Shakira.

01:08:52.000 People aren't already piloting.

01:08:54.000 You know, there's a sound attributed to that, right?

01:08:59.000 No, I think that's a joke.

01:09:00.000 No, no, no, no.

01:09:02.000 There's a sound.

01:09:03.000 I got the Richter by the way I think they were adding a terrorist sound No, that's because the Lebanese, right? 1.00

01:09:14.000 They go, la, la, la, la, la, there's a sound.

01:09:16.000 And all Arabs do that. 1.00

01:09:18.000 But can you scooch that over away from me?

01:09:20.000 I go full screen?

01:09:21.000 Yeah.

01:09:22.000 Now, folks at home, please crop this and hold on to it the next time Andy Richter is annoying.

01:09:27.000 You know, I met Andy Richt once and I was doing Coke at a Comedy Central after party.

01:09:33.000 Really?

01:09:34.000 And he had a track suit on, an Adidas track suit.

01:09:36.000 And I was like, you want to do a little hooch? 0.84

01:09:38.000 A little cooch magooch? 0.79

01:09:40.000 And he's like, what?

01:09:41.000 And I go, you want to up the Zimzom? 0.99

01:09:46.000 And he's like, what are you talking about?

01:09:48.000 I said, you want to do a pump of cocaine in your nose, sir?

01:09:51.000 To get high.

01:09:52.000 To get in your sinuses and absorb into your bloodstream.

01:09:55.000 He goes, oh, no, no, no.

01:09:56.000 And I go, you're not a Coke guy?

01:09:57.000 He goes, I've never tried it.

01:10:01.000 You never tried Coke?

01:10:03.000 That's a bummer.

01:10:04.000 This is not long ago, by the way. 0.81

01:10:06.000 Why are you gay? 0.99

01:10:07.000 We were all adult men. 1.00

01:10:09.000 He's a fag. 1.00

01:10:13.000 Maybe that's why his marriage fell apart. 1.00

01:10:14.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

01:10:19.000 I've been talking to a friend via Facebook, and I think he likes me. 1.00

01:10:22.000 Congratulations, lady.

01:10:23.000 This sounds fun.

01:10:25.000 Mostly we banter about politics and philosophy, but I notice him asking a lot of personal questions as of late.

01:10:31.000 We live in the same city.

01:10:32.000 I wasn't very mindful about pursuing him.

01:10:35.000 Well, the recent information he exposed about himself really turned me off.

01:10:40.000 Why should it?

01:10:41.000 You're getting along great with this guy.

01:10:43.000 Politics is cool.

01:10:45.000 Philosophy, you sound like you two are totally compatible.

01:10:49.000 Homeboy's gonna like get it. 0.99

01:10:53.000 Jesus, she is fucking alarmingly attractive. 1.00

01:10:56.000 Really? 1.00

01:10:57.000 Yes, I guess.

01:10:58.000 She looks like Bambi. 1.00

01:11:00.000 Her brain is a piece of fucking dog shit. 1.00

01:11:07.000 As a man, you can't deny that. 1.00

01:11:08.000 She's kind of like shockingly attractive.

01:11:12.000 It's terrible. 0.97

01:11:14.000 I think if you really wanted to marry her, you should drug her, take her to China, have her voice box removed. 1.00

01:11:22.000 And then don't learn sign. 0.98

01:11:24.000 That sounds like just like a regular Chinese tradition.

01:11:27.000 Just go be Chinese. 1.00

01:11:28.000 There's probably a whole town that does that.

01:11:30.000 Anyway, he told me he broke up, and by the way, I have no problem with air quotes anymore, they're too efficient.

01:11:39.000 I'm not taking it back.

01:11:41.000 I think it was my parents that brainwashed me into hating them.

01:11:43.000 They work, I love air quotes.

01:11:45.000 Anyway, he tells me he broke up years ago with his long-term partner.

01:11:50.000 They lived in a tiny downtown studio apartment.

01:11:50.000 That's fine.

01:11:53.000 Okay.

01:11:54.000 I'm not sure why, but as of recent, he decides to take action to move out and onward from that relationship.

01:12:01.000 All right.

01:12:02.000 He's white.

01:12:04.000 She's Japanese.

01:12:07.000 No offense, Ryan, but that's kind of a bad sign.

01:12:10.000 I forgot I was Japanese until you said it. 1.00

01:12:14.000 You were like, fucking nips. 1.00

01:12:16.000 Fucking Japanese. 1.00

01:12:18.000 Wait a second. 1.00

01:12:19.000 Wait.

01:12:20.000 That's why there's no mirrors at your house.

01:12:23.000 By the way, the studio apartment is a typical no-bedroom, 400-square-foot hole in the wall, with the rent being $1,300 monthly.

01:12:32.000 That's got to be New York City.

01:12:33.000 Did I mention he's 36?

01:12:35.000 Oh.

01:12:36.000 So his ex was actually the one that moved out from that place, and now he needs a roommate to pay half the rent.

01:12:45.000 Goodbye.

01:12:47.000 Bye-bye.

01:12:49.000 Home to mommy.

01:12:50.000 Mother Nature's hella pissed. 1.00

01:12:53.000 Bye-bye.

01:12:55.000 Go home.

01:12:57.000 No need for you.

01:12:58.000 No need. 0.99

01:13:00.000 If you're 35 and you live in a city that's so expensive that there are $1,300 a month apartments and it's no bedrooms, just a studio, then you're a fucking loser or a drunk or a partier or you're in a band or you're some sort of struggling artist or maybe you're some sort of weird fucking charity dude who's like trying to do the new live aid. 0.99

01:13:23.000 I could see that. 0.99

01:13:24.000 That could be kind of cool.

01:13:25.000 Like, I'm going to live on nothing.

01:13:28.000 I want to save the world.

01:13:30.000 If some dude like that.

01:13:31.000 Like a billionaire lark for a vlog.

01:13:34.000 Like a Casey Neestat. 0.61

01:13:36.000 There's like seven people, seven scenarios where this is acceptable.

01:13:40.000 But no. 1.00

01:13:41.000 If you have a $1,300 a month studio and you get a roommate who has to sleep on the couch, you're dealing with a fucking loser. 1.00

01:13:50.000 Dump him. 1.00

01:13:50.000 And by the way, I've been shit poor. 1.00

01:13:53.000 I only got a $1,300 a month apartment when I could afford it. 0.96

01:13:59.000 Before that, I lived with other people with the Otis Simbos. 1.00

01:14:07.000 Now, you know, this is one of the Otis Symbos.

01:14:10.000 So his ex was actually the one that moved out from that place.

01:14:13.000 Oh, sorry, now in his roommate.

01:14:15.000 He's posting ads on Craigslist.

01:14:17.000 I'm already raising eyebrows while he types me this story.

01:14:20.000 Suddenly, he brags about getting a call from his Instagram famous and successful 49-year-old clothing designer friend who recently divorced his wife.

01:14:32.000 Sounds like a total badass.

01:14:34.000 Imagine being 49 and being focused on being Instagram famous.

01:14:40.000 He was also telling me how this guy was willing to throw down extra money for drinks when they meet in person to sign the lease. 0.99

01:14:46.000 Holy shit, what a badass. 0.99

01:14:49.000 Did you hear that? 1.00

01:14:52.000 So the guy showed up to sign the lease, which means he's sleeping on the couch.

01:14:55.000 Someone's sleeping on a couch.

01:14:56.000 They're in a room like our studio.

01:14:58.000 This is, we're me and him, but this is our home.

01:15:02.000 And after he signs the lease, they go out, maybe have like, what, four beers?

01:15:07.000 And the other guy goes, it's on him.

01:15:09.000 Yeah.

01:15:09.000 It's on me.

01:15:10.000 What are you talking about?

01:15:11.000 This is $36.

01:15:15.000 No, to me, it's not.

01:15:17.000 To me, it's $3.6 because I'm a decimal place richer than anyone has ever thought of.

01:15:23.000 It's quiet.

01:15:24.000 Yeah, no, it's quiet for him.

01:15:26.000 Yuck, she says.

01:15:27.000 I quickly put on my detective brain and start asking him obvious questions like how a supposedly successful 49-year-old businessman can only afford $650 a month?

01:15:38.000 That's a pretty good question.

01:15:40.000 I don't think I've ever paid, no, I did pay $650 a month, but like in 1990 in Canada.

01:15:50.000 A divorce will ruin a guy, but not like that.

01:15:53.000 That's true.

01:15:54.000 He clearly has no credit. 1.00

01:15:56.000 And to not even have a bedroom, as far as I'm concerned, they are both fucking losers. 1.00

01:16:01.000 And he's asking too much rent to be sleeping in one space together. 1.00

01:16:05.000 Also, does the word faggot come to mind? 0.99

01:16:07.000 Am I being too harsh? 0.99

01:16:09.000 Love you more than a friend.

01:16:11.000 Female name.

01:16:12.000 Yeah, ladies, here's the deal. 1.00

01:16:15.000 Here's my invitation.

01:16:17.000 He's pimping.

01:16:17.000 Look at him.

01:16:19.000 When you're a young girl, when you're 13, 14, you start having sexual thoughts, save it. 0.77

01:16:25.000 Your chastity is valuable.

01:16:27.000 You're a Ferrari.

01:16:29.000 To throw that away is for a Ferrari to throw its engine away.

01:16:34.000 I'm sorry, but in many ways, it's your worth. 0.99

01:16:37.000 That's why being known as a slut is denigrating. 1.00

01:16:40.000 That's why guys can't be insulted by the insult slut. 1.00

01:16:44.000 So save that little jar of coins you have and don't spend it. 0.91

01:16:51.000 Now, you don't have to only dole it out to your married husband, although everyone I know who's done that turned out quite happy.

01:16:59.000 But if you're going to dole it out, dole it out in very small portions to people who earn it. 0.99

01:17:05.000 Like when you're going to open up your pussy, be like, is this a good investment? 1.00

01:17:09.000 Is this worth it? 1.00

01:17:10.000 Is it affordable?

01:17:11.000 Do I want it?

01:17:14.000 Does he deserve it?

01:17:15.000 Stuff like that.

01:17:19.000 And then when you get to be like comfortable with sex, let's say 20, then you can be maybe dole it out a little more.

01:17:27.000 But 20 to 25, I'm going to say are your party years.

01:17:31.000 You can try out relationships, see what you like, see if you like hippie guys, see if you like tough guys, whatever.

01:17:37.000 See what you're most fulfilled at.

01:17:40.000 They've always said you're happiest when you're surrounded by people that allow you to be the most yourself.

01:17:47.000 So I would say you experiment with like four or five boyfriends.

01:17:52.000 This is not a very Catholic thing for me to say, but whatever. 0.99

01:17:55.000 And if you notice that you like tough guys or you like pussies, Then you start at 25. 1.00

01:18:03.000 All right, now it's serious. 1.00

01:18:05.000 No more fucking losers, no more comedians, no more photographers, no more DJs, no more artists, no more sharing a room guy. 0.99

01:18:16.000 And then you have some time. 0.99

01:18:18.000 I hope it takes two years to find the one, then get a ring on it and start making sure, making it clear you need a ring on it. 0.99

01:18:28.000 And then just fucking spread those legs and make those babies and get five. 1.00

01:18:36.000 One is for losers. 1.00

01:18:38.000 Two is for fags. 1.00

01:18:39.000 Three is a bare minimum. 1.00

01:18:41.000 Four, you're cooler than me.

01:18:43.000 Five, you're perfect.

01:18:46.000 You made it.

01:18:49.000 All right.

01:18:51.000 We've done Johnny Apple CBD.

01:18:53.000 We did Cavefe.

01:18:54.000 Speaking of real jobs, speaking of real jobs, I just did a bump of coke.

01:18:59.000 And that's my job.

01:19:02.000 Another thing that we missed out from the Trump speech is that he's going to put free vocational schools in...

01:19:09.000 He wants to do this.

01:19:11.000 In high schools.

01:19:12.000 Free vocational training to learn a trade in high schools.

01:19:19.000 Are you just right now...

01:19:22.000 Did you just...

01:19:28.000 I have never done that on a show before.

01:19:30.000 I know what you did, and I don't think you should say it.

01:19:33.000 Yeah, I'm not going to say it.

01:19:34.000 I am going to need a serviette at some point.

01:19:41.000 Wow.

01:19:43.000 That is really, really embarrassing. 0.99

01:19:50.000 It's also gay that you made me do that. 0.99

01:19:54.000 Trump did. 0.87

01:19:54.000 I didn't. 0.87

01:19:55.000 So Trump's decided to bring trades back to America.

01:19:58.000 Yeah.

01:19:59.000 And maybe we don't all need a 250,000 degree, $250,000 degree in speech pathology.

01:20:09.000 Ruby, I need at least one degree in speech pathology.

01:20:13.000 All right, we're done.

01:20:15.000 We are now going to go to the phones.

01:20:18.000 And I'd like to say to the folks who are getting this podcast free, if you were seeing this on YouTube, I'm stunned, stunned that I'm still alive. 0.99

01:20:29.000 But I don't give a fuck if I get kicked off because, oh, look, only one of those men. 0.98

01:20:35.000 This is gone. 0.99

01:20:36.000 And this will probably be gone by the time you see this.

01:20:38.000 And you probably won't even see this. 1.00

01:20:41.000 But fuck it. 1.00

01:20:41.000 You have to be who you are. 1.00

01:20:43.000 I mean, don't be egregiously offensive and don't pick on people who don't deserve it.

01:20:48.000 But if it's who you are and you feel like you're being honest with yourself, then yeah, get fired.

01:20:55.000 Get in trouble.

01:20:56.000 Be brave.

01:20:57.000 And never stop fighting.

01:20:59.000 We'll be right back.

01:21:17.000 All right.

01:21:19.000 I was going to type out what should be the definition of this show.

01:21:24.000 Banned.

01:21:26.000 After discussing our recent ban from Instagram, Facebook, etc.

01:21:37.000 You could follow me at my new Instagram.

01:21:40.000 After discussing recent banana from Instagram, we realize everyone who even remotely associates is banned from Instagram.

01:21:40.000 Wait a minute.

01:21:55.000 We turned the word censored Facebook.

01:21:59.000 And was there anything else?

01:22:01.000 Was Twitter brought it up?

01:22:02.000 No, no, not as far as I know.

01:22:04.000 And Facebook.

01:22:06.000 Ryan lost all the pictures of his ethnically ambiguous relatives.

01:22:18.000 No, cousins.

01:22:22.000 I know, but that's not funny.

01:22:27.000 What else did we talk about?

01:22:30.000 This brings us to the fear of, quote-unquote, hate and how illegitimate it is.

01:22:43.000 Then we kick off the free loaders and take some calls, as you know.

01:22:51.000 That should do it.

01:22:52.000 We can pick whatever song we want to end this now, too.

01:22:54.000 We could just go...

01:22:58.000 In the meantime, we can play whatever we'd like. 0.82

01:23:03.000 No, I also got a text from our sales guy who said he's very happy with those shitty Johnny Apple CBD reads. 0.84

01:23:13.000 No, I'm not kidding. 0.81

01:23:14.000 With the what?

01:23:16.000 Well, to just sit there with the paper and go, Johnny Apple CBD, it's totally rocking, and you gotta rock with it. 0.98

01:23:16.000 What shitty CPAP? 0.98

01:23:22.000 It feels like you're going by the sound. 0.99

01:23:23.000 Unless there's crucial details that the FDA has to say, like you will not get high.

01:23:28.000 This is not sialis. 0.99

01:23:31.000 But outside of things that you have to mention, just fucking talk about the fuck that's the EDV. 1.00

01:23:37.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:23:38.000 *Dramatic music* 1.00

01:23:43.000 All right, I'm not going to go too long tonight. 0.92

01:23:48.000 I want to get to the bar before I get piss your pants drunk. 0.81

01:23:53.000 I haven't pissed my pants in at least three weeks.

01:24:00.000 We got some calls.

01:24:02.000 They're all screening.

01:24:03.000 Actually, no, I think I pissed my pants after our last live show.

01:24:06.000 But that's seven days.

01:24:07.000 That's pretty good.

01:24:08.000 It's a lot of fun.

01:24:09.000 Well, after the live show, we went out and we had some drinks.

01:24:12.000 Yeah.

01:24:13.000 But the good thing is I pissed my pants while wearing my winter coat, which is waterproof.

01:24:20.000 So it had to get through the coat, through the duvet, and I wasn't in our bedroom.

01:24:25.000 I was in the guest room.

01:24:26.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

01:24:27.000 So there was like very small stain.

01:24:27.000 I'll remember.

01:24:30.000 I've stayed in the guest room before.

01:24:33.000 Christmas party.

01:24:35.000 I slept on piss.

01:24:37.000 Yes. 0.97

01:24:38.000 If you've been to my house, you've slept slash sat on piss. 0.99

01:24:43.000 Stepped on, touched on, licked, ate. 0.98

01:24:46.000 If you've used any of our plates, you've eaten piss. 0.97

01:24:50.000 I'm Gigi Allen. 0.82

01:24:54.000 You're like a stealthy Gigi Allen. 0.99

01:24:58.000 I am so fucking stealthy. 0.99

01:24:59.000 It's amazing how rarely I get caught. 0.98

01:25:01.000 I wouldn't talk about this story.

01:25:03.000 Imagine your wife secretly watches these.

01:25:06.000 Bad chance.

01:25:07.000 We got Mike Kama.

01:25:09.000 You want to talk to him?

01:25:09.000 Yeah.

01:25:10.000 Hey, Mike.

01:25:12.000 So Mike.

01:25:12.000 Hey, what's up, guys?

01:25:13.000 How's it going tonight?

01:25:14.000 Yep.

01:25:15.000 Good.

01:25:16.000 Awesome.

01:25:17.000 I was just calling in, told last week, awesome recommendations for your top five bands that you would listen to.

01:25:22.000 Really great recommendation.

01:25:23.000 Speaking of music, I was wondering if you guys heard the Trot Kick Murphy's version of The Bonnie.

01:25:29.000 I did.

01:25:31.000 Not a fan.

01:25:32.000 You thought?

01:25:33.000 Yeah, same here.

01:25:34.000 I was disappointed.

01:25:35.000 I think after you've heard old Jerry do it there, it's hard to compete with that.

01:25:39.000 All right.

01:25:40.000 Well, thanks for calling.

01:25:42.000 Let's look into that song right now.

01:25:45.000 It's a song, it's an anthemic folk song, which doesn't necessarily lend itself to hardcore.

01:25:52.000 99 Luft Balloons lends itself to hardcore because it's a silly pop song that gets funny and cool when you speed it up.

01:25:59.000 But the whole appeal of The Bonnie by Jerry Cinnamon is the bare bonesness of it all.

01:26:06.000 And then to have the dropkick Murphys, who I'm not a fan of, I'm afraid.

01:26:10.000 You know what?

01:26:11.000 You want to know what I don't like with them?

01:26:15.000 Flatfoot56 told me that there's, in this sort of Celtic rock scene, they're really territorial.

01:26:22.000 And they're not bros.

01:26:24.000 Which isn't the hardcore scene I grew up with.

01:26:27.000 We were all very cool with each other.

01:26:30.000 I could see that because they're cornered a market.

01:26:32.000 Exactly.

01:26:32.000 And there's things like St. Patty's Day.

01:26:34.000 Uh-huh.

01:26:35.000 Where you're in your town in Chicago, you want to get this bar.

01:26:38.000 So they're in competition.

01:26:40.000 That's sad. 0.98

01:26:41.000 And the implication I got from Flatfoot 56 is that Dropkick Murphys were kind of dicks to them. 0.97

01:26:47.000 But I don't know. 0.99

01:26:48.000 They sound kind of like low IQ pogues to me.

01:26:55.000 I don't know why.

01:26:56.000 But anyway, let's hear them do the bond.

01:26:58.000 You know, but a look in your eye For the people that you love, they're lost That you never got to tell goodbye Don't try to make it cool.

01:27:06.000 Look in your eye.

01:27:08.000 It's like an endearing song about I Love You.

01:27:11.000 It's almost, it should be in church.

01:27:13.000 It's like it's the last song, like a funeral song.

01:27:15.000 Yeah.

01:27:16.000 It's like, we can do this together.

01:27:18.000 But you don't want to be like, we can do this together.

01:27:21.000 Dude, I have a song for you.

01:27:26.000 That's the creepiest way to tell people you're sexy. 1.00

01:27:39.000 What has two thumbs and likes blowjobs? 1.00

01:27:41.000 That song sucks. 1.00

01:27:44.000 I have a song for you. 1.00

01:27:47.000 Okay.

01:27:48.000 Let's wait while you play me Allison Chains. 1.00

01:27:52.000 I got an angry letter about Alice in Chains. 0.99

01:27:54.000 Hey man, you were fucking wrong to shit on Ryan for liking Allison Chains. 0.99

01:27:58.000 Everyone knows they rock. 1.00

01:28:00.000 Wrong.

01:28:02.000 Well, you're both wrong.

01:28:03.000 It's subjective.

01:28:04.000 No, it's not.

01:28:06.000 Hi, I'm Sean Armenta.

01:28:08.000 I'm from Phoenix, Arizona.

01:28:09.000 I'm 50 years old.

01:28:11.000 Better be good.

01:28:13.000 He's older than me, this guy.

01:28:15.000 Let's skip to his performance.

01:28:17.000 I like the way he carried his mic up.

01:28:20.000 Hello.

01:28:21.000 Hello, Simon.

01:28:21.000 Hello.

01:28:22.000 Hi. 0.99

01:28:22.000 I'm a cunt. 0.99

01:28:23.000 Sean Armenta. 1.00

01:28:25.000 Okay, how old are you, Sean?

01:28:26.000 I turned 50.

01:28:27.000 Okay.

01:28:28.000 And how much work have we put into preparing for this?

01:28:32.000 One year and six months in the studio from 6 to 10 p.m. every night, dancing with a choreographer, vocal training for seven days a week.

01:28:41.000 Wow.

01:28:42.000 So I can be prepared for this.

01:28:44.000 Okay, and what song are you going to do?

01:28:46.000 My own song called Candy Girl about the girls that you might meet in your local bar.

01:28:51.000 Man, are you showing this?

01:28:52.000 Really good looking.

01:28:53.000 Then they're your sweet candy girl. 1.00

01:28:54.000 Shit. 1.00

01:28:55.000 Whoops. 1.00

01:28:56.000 What were you writing?

01:28:57.000 I'm not writing anything.

01:28:58.000 I made a video based on this, and it's a good follow-up, I think.

01:29:02.000 This is important.

01:29:05.000 I don't think you know what's going to happen.

01:29:07.000 Okay?

01:29:10.000 Hope you like this.

01:29:11.000 that was a smoke show I'm going to bring my friend Shark.

01:29:20.000 Bring yourself over here.

01:29:26.000 Let me wash some yummy buns.

01:29:28.000 Walkin'left and right.

01:29:30.000 You're a bad girl, ain't I right?

01:29:32.000 Holdin'it down.

01:29:34.000 Wanna get down like a dana? 0.97

01:29:37.000 Skittin'out the truth.

01:29:38.000 I never met her.

01:29:40.000 What is that?

01:29:42.000 What are you doing?

01:29:44.000 People are shocked.

01:29:45.000 Cotton candy girl, cotton candy girl, blue cotton candy girl, candy girl.

01:29:52.000 That's like the last thing.

01:29:53.000 Wait, he's totally winded.

01:29:55.000 He's lying.

01:29:56.000 This is fake.

01:29:57.000 No, because I've seen this.

01:29:58.000 I looked at his videos.

01:29:59.000 He just like, it's his wife singing him happy birthday and stuff.

01:30:02.000 He's like a farmer.

01:30:03.000 Sunday was divorced.

01:30:04.000 He's a farmer guy.

01:30:05.000 He married like an Eastern European. 0.80

01:30:08.000 Yeah.

01:30:09.000 I'm a Japanese girlfriend.

01:30:10.000 Cutting candy girl. 0.93

01:30:12.000 Cutting, cutting, cutting.

01:30:13.000 Do you see the war flashbacks he's singing in his head as he's singing that?

01:30:17.000 Cut and candy girl. 1.00

01:30:19.000 All right, so you hijacked the entire show for a bunch of bullshit. 1.00

01:30:22.000 Fuck off. 1.00

01:30:23.000 And we're not playing your video that's an homage to this because you wasted our time. 1.00

01:30:28.000 Next call, please.

01:30:31.000 All right.

01:30:32.000 We got Kevin on the line.

01:30:34.000 Kevin, talk to us about your transgender co-worker.

01:30:41.000 Kevin.

01:30:44.000 Hey, man.

01:30:46.000 Hey, how you doing?

01:30:50.000 I work at a truck wash.

01:30:52.000 It's a family-owned company.

01:30:54.000 It's a big company, like 100 locations.

01:30:56.000 But our location's small, like 30 guys, all guys.

01:30:59.000 But this one lesbian Girl worked there a while ago, and so I knew her by her male name. 1.00

01:31:06.000 And she quit and now she's back. 0.58

01:31:08.000 And so now she says she's transgender. 0.99

01:31:10.000 And the general manager met with everyone individually.

01:31:14.000 And so he meets with me, he says, you know, we want a comfortable work environment.

01:31:17.000 And I said, oh, nothing wrong with that.

01:31:22.000 And he says that she wants to go by male pronouns, him, his, whatever, and only the male name.

01:31:29.000 And I said, eh, I don't think so.

01:31:31.000 Three reasons.

01:31:33.000 Don't want to enable gender dysphoria. 1.00

01:31:35.000 40% suicide, you know, fuck that. 1.00

01:31:38.000 What about me being comfortable at work, as opposed to her? 0.99

01:31:42.000 And I could say it's religious because the church has a stance on the issue.

01:31:46.000 So he said, write all your thoughts down and get proper people involved.

01:31:50.000 But the GM doesn't really like me.

01:31:53.000 Probably could get me fired.

01:31:54.000 Is this the hill I die on?

01:31:56.000 And also, Smokeo by the chat.

01:31:59.000 I know you like that song.

01:32:00.000 Check out their new song, The Clap.

01:32:02.000 Like you more than a friend.

01:32:03.000 Have a good one.

01:32:04.000 Nothing wrong with that.

01:32:05.000 Thanks, buddy.

01:32:08.000 Look, the point of this show is you have to be true to yourself.

01:32:14.000 So if you feel strongly about gender and you think that there's only two genders, which you have to, then when someone says, call me sir or call me Joe and that contradicts what you believe, I mean, you got to say no.

01:32:32.000 Or else, how do you feel when you sleep at night? 1.00

01:32:36.000 And of course the left says, oh, come on, he's not sucking the guy's dick, the trans dick. 1.00

01:32:44.000 He's just doing a little thing. 1.00

01:32:46.000 No, I'm not, I'm done with that.

01:32:48.000 That's like, say I go into a bar and they're like, hey, man, the owner of the bar doesn't like the name Gavin.

01:32:53.000 So when people ask you what your name is, just say Mike.

01:32:55.000 That's not a big deal, right?

01:32:56.000 Just Mike.

01:32:57.000 And you're like, well, it doesn't sound like a big deal, but that's my name's Gavin. 0.99

01:33:03.000 So I'm saying fucking Gavin. 0.99

01:33:05.000 And if I get kicked out of the bar, I get kicked out of the bar. 0.99

01:33:08.000 So I would say be very cordial, be very kind, but don't do something that you don't agree with, that you think is wrong.

01:33:18.000 It's got nothing to do with your performance at the job. 1.00

01:33:21.000 Now, if I wasn't Gavin McInnis and I was your friend, I would say, fuck Gavin, keep your job, go up to her and say you're gay. 0.99

01:33:32.000 Pay your black friend, everyone has one, pay your black friend $100 to come with you to work and say, look, this is my boyfriend Pierre. 1.00

01:33:41.000 And if anyone finds out, his family will be mortified. 0.97

01:33:46.000 So you might see us kissing at work, but please don't ever tell anyone.

01:33:50.000 And that'll be a force field around you.

01:33:54.000 That's a great Band-Aid solution to these scenarios.

01:33:59.000 But you have to live with yourself.

01:34:03.000 So take Gavin's advice and ignore your friend's advice. 0.99

01:34:06.000 Why are you gay? 1.00

01:34:09.000 Because it protects me with a bubble. 0.99

01:34:11.000 You know what's funny with that clip?

01:34:13.000 It's kind of an intellectual question.

01:34:15.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:34:16.000 Like, I like stupid questions like that. 1.00

01:34:19.000 It's like with people with AR-15s. 1.00

01:34:22.000 Charlie Kirk was saying, what's an AR-15? 1.00

01:34:26.000 And everyone he says that too goes, are you a fucking idiot? 1.00

01:34:28.000 Are you retarded? 1.00

01:34:30.000 But it's like, okay, let's start with that. 0.99

01:34:33.000 Or my question, I keep asking people, why did we colonize anything?

01:34:38.000 Why colonize?

01:34:41.000 Why not just buy and sell and trade with people?

01:34:46.000 Oh, he said, what is an assault rifle?

01:34:48.000 First of all, tell me what is assault rising.

01:34:51.000 Now you're really on in the last 20 minutes of the show.

01:34:54.000 Bumboo Zumboo.

01:34:57.000 No, come on. 0.85

01:34:58.000 Stop.

01:34:59.000 No, no, no.

01:35:00.000 Stop, guys, guys, please.

01:35:02.000 They don't stay there. 1.00

01:35:02.000 Are you stupid assault rifle? 1.00

01:35:05.000 Very specific. 1.00

01:35:07.000 And it's health rifle.

01:35:09.000 I'm very curious.

01:35:09.000 No, no, no, no.

01:35:12.000 Please, guys, what is an assault rifle?

01:35:14.000 It's a military-grade weapon.

01:35:16.000 So you do realize that every member of the military has a pistol, so you call a pistol a military-grade weapon.

01:35:20.000 No, actually, I'm not.

01:35:21.000 I'm not talking about pistols. 0.99

01:35:22.000 In case you're eating off fucking second, what the fuck about it? 1.00

01:35:27.000 You said AK, what? 1.00

01:35:28.000 No more AKs. 0.94

01:35:29.000 I'm so sick of AKs. 1.00

01:35:32.000 What you said.

01:35:33.000 There was another school shooting today with an AK.

01:35:36.000 No, no, no.

01:35:37.000 Uzi. 0.99

01:35:38.000 What the fuck right now? 0.99

01:35:41.000 No, that's OZ. 0.99

01:35:45.000 All right, anyway.

01:35:46.000 Isn't he going to get to talk to him? 0.96

01:35:47.000 Our fellow 2A guys fucking ruined that thing by... 0.97

01:35:53.000 Oh, yes. 0.99

01:35:54.000 The Chats. 0.97

01:35:55.000 The Clap is their new song.

01:35:57.000 Gonorrhea?

01:35:58.000 Had it many times.

01:35:59.000 I thought the Clap was Chlamydia.

01:36:01.000 Oh, yeah.

01:36:02.000 Sorry.

01:36:03.000 Go.

01:36:04.000 The name for Gonorrhea we had when I was young was Gonorrhea. 1.00

01:36:09.000 Oh, fuck. 0.99

01:36:10.000 There's no symptoms, dude. 1.00

01:36:13.000 Yeah, look.

01:36:15.000 Yeah, you're just going to have to cut it off.

01:36:17.000 Alright, I'm going to say it's on.

01:36:18.000 Alright, so.

01:36:20.000 Another awesome Australian punk band? 1.00

01:36:22.000 What is going on with that fucking island? 1.00

01:36:24.000 is the one that does the smoke-o. 1.00

01:36:25.000 Oh, yeah.

01:36:31.000 Are you sure?

01:36:32.000 Yep, the chats.

01:36:34.000 # # It's like the late 60s all over again with the Sonics and all that stuff.

01:36:34.000 They did Smoko.

01:36:52.000 God, I wish I was allowed in Australia.

01:36:55.000 I want a mullet. 0.61

01:36:56.000 You know what happened with that?

01:36:58.000 I was in.

01:36:58.000 I had my visa.

01:36:59.000 Milo had his visa.

01:37:00.000 We were all ready to rock.

01:37:02.000 Alex Jones was considering coming.

01:37:06.000 Do you want a sip of my beer?

01:37:08.000 Oh, no. 0.99

01:37:12.000 And then after the New Zealand shooting, Milo said something remarkably abrasive, such as, what the fuck did he say? 1.00

01:37:20.000 Like, this is your fault, you normalizing radical Islam and making people think there's no other solution but murdering them. 1.00

01:37:28.000 And that was the end of all our visas. 0.99

01:37:31.000 Flushed down the toilet.

01:37:33.000 So I could get a new one, but it's going to take some intense groveling.

01:37:38.000 I want to go down under so bad.

01:37:44.000 What if I went on a free tour and didn't need a work visa?

01:37:47.000 Hmm.

01:37:49.000 And it was all charity.

01:37:50.000 Yeah.

01:37:52.000 Loophole City.

01:37:53.000 I talked to Mr. Ron about that.

01:37:56.000 What's up, Ron?

01:37:57.000 Oh, well, this is Max.

01:37:59.000 Sea Dogs Max on Me or T-Mummy?

01:38:02.000 What?

01:38:05.000 Oh, hey, yeah.

01:38:06.000 Hey, guys.

01:38:07.000 Yeah, so yeah, the meme idea was great.

01:38:07.000 Hey.

01:38:12.000 And coincidentally, I had recently put together kind of a book of all my favorite memes over the last couple of years.

01:38:19.000 So I already had the books printed, so I just sent them each a book of all, like, you know, a few hundred memes all in a book.

01:38:27.000 Memes and Dreams 2020?

01:38:29.000 Oh, that's awesome, dude.

01:38:30.000 Yeah.

01:38:31.000 I got your email.

01:38:32.000 Yeah, I was going to pull it up.

01:38:33.000 Okay, awesome.

01:38:34.000 Can you send it to our guys?

01:38:37.000 He did.

01:38:38.000 Yeah, absolutely.

01:38:39.000 Yeah.

01:38:40.000 Wait, did you send it?

01:38:41.000 Absolutely.

01:38:44.000 I just sent you a picture.

01:38:45.000 I sent them each a copy.

01:38:47.000 You did?

01:38:47.000 Okay.

01:38:48.000 But send me the P.O. box or whatever, wherever you guys want your mail sent, and I'll send you a copy.

01:38:53.000 Cool.

01:38:53.000 I'll get your number down, and I'll call you after the show.

01:38:57.000 That's awesome, dude.

01:38:58.000 Thanks very much.

01:39:00.000 That's it.

01:39:02.000 Yeah, and the Dropkick Murphys did suck the soul out of it.

01:39:09.000 It's not that kind of a song.

01:39:10.000 It's like, I guess they heard Amazing Grace get done fast, and there's an argument for that, but some songs should not be touched.

01:39:18.000 You might as well do Champagne Supernova fast.

01:39:21.000 You know?

01:39:22.000 Yeah.

01:39:22.000 Like, let's hear Metallica do Champagne Supernova.

01:39:25.000 That sounds like a great idea.

01:39:28.000 Yeah, that song is a modern-day equivalent of Aunt Lang Syne.

01:39:31.000 That's our generation's Aunt Lang Syne. 0.96

01:39:34.000 That's what it is.

01:39:35.000 That's why I had it performed at my Christmas party. 0.99

01:39:38.000 You know how much my fucking Christmas party cost me? 0.99

01:39:41.000 The booze and food was $3,000. 0.99

01:39:44.000 Is that the name of the band?

01:39:45.000 The band was $800.

01:39:48.000 Wow.

01:39:49.000 Oh, yeah, that's about right.

01:39:52.000 My wife said, I don't think we should do these anymore.

01:39:57.000 We got Julian talking white privilege.

01:40:01.000 Hey, Gavin. 0.97

01:40:03.000 First, just want to say thanks for showing me Cut the Crap by The Clash. 0.98

01:40:08.000 That album is fucking awesome. 0.97

01:40:10.000 I didn't know that I slept on that for so long. 0.96

01:40:12.000 It really grows on you, right?

01:40:15.000 Oh, it's so amazing.

01:40:17.000 At first, I was disgusted by it with all the chatter, and then it made me appreciate The Clash so much more.

01:40:26.000 Thank you so much.

01:40:27.000 I actually find Sandinista a much harder album to digest.

01:40:31.000 Sandinista takes like four days to get into. 0.99

01:40:35.000 Cut the crap only takes a day. 0.99

01:40:40.000 I agree. 1.00

01:40:41.000 It was a breath of fresh air.

01:40:43.000 So thank you again.

01:40:45.000 But want to get to white privilege.

01:40:50.000 Now, I'm all about the whole content of your character, not the color of your skin thing.

01:40:55.000 But I've come across a lot of women lately in the dating scene bringing up white privilege a lot. 1.00

01:41:03.000 And I just need to know what a good, quick rebuttal would be to that.

01:41:07.000 Oh, it's very thank you very much.

01:41:08.000 You say out of all the ethnic groups in America, white people are seventh.

01:41:16.000 The number one, two, and three are Asian.

01:41:20.000 Lebanese is above them.

01:41:23.000 African immigrants from, say, Kenya are above them. 1.00

01:41:29.000 Indian Americans, not American Indians, but Indian Americans are above them. 1.00

01:41:33.000 So if there is a privilege in America, it's Asian. 0.94

01:41:39.000 Sorry, lady.

01:41:41.000 But they make more money than anyone.

01:41:44.000 You talk about this whole thing of like, oh, when you get on the elevator and you're white, no one grabs their purse.

01:41:50.000 Yeah, when you're Asian, even less people grab their purse.

01:41:54.000 So focus on those factors and you should be good to go.

01:41:57.000 Focus on these.

01:42:00.000 And not these.

01:42:01.000 Yes.

01:42:03.000 These aren't my glasses, by the way.

01:42:06.000 That's a bummer.

01:42:07.000 I know.

01:42:07.000 I'm pissed off at that guy.

01:42:08.000 He's fired.

01:42:09.000 Mike Blaylock. 1.00

01:42:11.000 Hollywood is stupid, he says. 1.00

01:42:16.000 Hello. 1.00

01:42:17.000 Hey, Mike.

01:42:20.000 Hey, so I watched the new Terminator movie.

01:42:25.000 Me too.

01:42:28.000 Spoiler alert.

01:42:29.000 It blows.

01:42:31.000 No, spoiler alert.

01:42:33.000 Spoiler alert.

01:42:34.000 The woman who saves the entire world is shorter than Ryan. 0.99

01:42:40.000 She's a fat little Mexican chick, and she can beat up everyone in the world and robots. 1.00

01:42:47.000 I thought it was cool. 1.00

01:42:49.000 And Arnold Schwarzenegger is a pussy and sells drapes. 1.00

01:42:54.000 He literally. 1.00

01:42:56.000 That's a fact.

01:42:57.000 Yeah.

01:42:59.000 Yeah, so I was watching it.

01:43:02.000 It was honestly like a car accident.

01:43:05.000 I couldn't.

01:43:06.000 I watched the whole thing, sadly.

01:43:09.000 But I was thinking, I was like, how many of these movies are they going to make? 1.00

01:43:15.000 Because they did Ghostbusters, they did The Kitchen, all these fucking feminist fucking movies. 1.00

01:43:25.000 And they're losing so much money. 1.00

01:43:27.000 I think Terminator lost like $100 million or something like that. 1.00

01:43:33.000 Like, when are they going to be like, maybe I should put aside all these fucking stupid liberal lies that I think that I believe in and maybe start making money? 1.00

01:43:46.000 Women don't want to see fucking action movies. 1.00

01:43:48.000 My girlfriend doesn't want to watch action movies. 1.00

01:43:51.000 American Sniper.

01:43:53.000 American Sniper that year made more money than all the other Oscar nominees combined.

01:43:59.000 Wow.

01:44:00.000 So I don't understand, as you apparently don't, why the free market is not involved in Hollywood. 0.99

01:44:08.000 Don't these people want their fucking money back? 0.99

01:44:13.000 Right. 1.00

01:44:14.000 And I mean, it literally is.

01:44:16.000 Every single, if you look, I actually looked at the top, I think 2018, the top box office slops of 2018.

01:44:28.000 And it was like Ghostbuster, The Kitchen, or something along the lines of that. 1.00

01:44:34.000 It was like half of it was shitty feminist movies where they're kicking fucking ass and taking names. 1.00

01:44:43.000 You know, you know what really pisses me off is that stupid fucking. 1.00

01:44:52.000 I don't watch Star Wars. 1.00

01:44:56.000 Ray Kwan Dong.

01:45:00.000 The hot British chick who beats up the new Darth Vader.

01:45:03.000 You know, what's her name?

01:45:05.000 Let me see.

01:45:06.000 Not Kylo Ren.

01:45:07.000 Raekwon the Chef.

01:45:08.000 Rayquan the Chef.

01:45:10.000 So it's Rain.

01:45:11.000 Rain.

01:45:12.000 So that chick, that chick, the new Jedi chick, right? 1.00

01:45:15.000 With her lightsaber and her little potato sack gown and her fucking little boots. 1.00

01:45:20.000 And I'll be at a toy store with my kids, and there she is on the shelf. 1.00

01:45:25.000 And my daughter, from zero to, she's 13 now, would never, ever, ever even glance at that.

01:45:33.000 She has zero interest, nor does any chick. 1.00

01:45:37.000 Like, a woman, someone with a lightsaber chops people's heads off. 1.00

01:45:42.000 And when you're a little kid, you are obsessed with decapitation and you love the idea of chopping people. 0.99

01:45:48.000 And I wish I could just chop that guy in half dead. 1.00

01:45:51.000 But this whole idea of like a girl sitting and fantasizing about having this where she can chop everyone's fucking head off, it's such horseshit. 1.00

01:46:04.000 I would love to see the sales on that stupid doll. 1.00

01:46:11.000 What I thought was the funniest part of it, since you said you'd watched it, there's a part in Terminator where I already knew it was going to happen, but they were like, hey, you know how we said that, you know, it's going to be your baby that saves the world? 0.99

01:46:31.000 It's going to be you, actually.

01:46:33.000 Because you're a woman. 1.00

01:46:35.000 Because you're a beautiful five-foot-tall fat Mexican woman. 1.00

01:46:41.000 You're my friend's nanny. 0.97

01:46:42.000 You're my friend's nanny.

01:46:44.000 No, no, no, no.

01:46:45.000 And they don't even show her much in the movie.

01:46:47.000 It's all the white chick. 1.00

01:46:49.000 And they're just like, they're protecting her.

01:46:51.000 Like, so she's this fragile thing.

01:46:53.000 And she's not in the movie, dude.

01:46:55.000 She's barely in the movie. 1.00

01:46:56.000 You know why they have this shit? 0.99

01:46:58.000 Because nerds love looking at women and they love fighting because those are two things that are not in their lives. 1.00

01:47:05.000 So part of their fantasies are imagining a woman and imagining a fight.

01:47:09.000 So when you put them together, these nerds go, wow, I get to look at a pretty girl and a fight. 1.00

01:47:15.000 The two things that I wish were part of my life. 0.98

01:47:18.000 But the rest of us with normal lives go, why is this chick that I fucked in high school ripping out a guy's eye socket? 1.00

01:47:27.000 This is not. 0.98

01:47:28.000 And remember in the latest, what was it, Rambo? 0.93

01:47:34.000 Was it Rambo?

01:47:35.000 Yeah.

01:47:35.000 Last Blood?

01:47:37.000 Yeah, where they take his daughter, his stepdaughter, and his dad is Nick Nolte. 0.92

01:47:43.000 And they visit Nick Nolte in the woods, and he has all this fucking weird landmines and everything.

01:47:52.000 Was Nick Nolte in this? 0.87

01:47:54.000 Maybe it was that other one you were talking about.

01:47:57.000 What's the other one?

01:47:59.000 The newest Rambo doesn't have Nick Nolte.

01:48:02.000 It's that Corny movie that you thought was really shitty, remember?

01:48:04.000 Maybe The Rock? 0.57

01:48:06.000 I think it was a new sister, but it was like that Corny movie.

01:48:11.000 Just look up like Nick Nolte.

01:48:13.000 Anyway, Nick Nolte plays a similar hermit who lives in the middle of nowhere, just like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

01:48:19.000 But instead of sending out coats and making burritos for his friends and having a beautiful wife that he loves, it was his, he had this perfect encampment where you could literally have the entire American military come to kill him.

01:48:38.000 And he was just like, just blowing up people everywhere.

01:48:41.000 And you go, that's what people want to see in an action movie.

01:48:47.000 Yes, absolutely. 0.95

01:48:49.000 And at the spoiler alert, everybody, the new Rambo, at the end with the heart, that's fucking awesome. 0.99

01:48:59.000 I was standing up cheering and shit. 0.99

01:49:01.000 I was like, fuck yeah, get him, Rambo. 1.00

01:49:04.000 That's what guys want to see. 1.00

01:49:05.000 They don't want to see some chick fucking beating the shit out of another dude that they're doing. 1.00

01:49:09.000 Chicks don't want to see that. 1.00

01:49:10.000 We don't want to see that.

01:49:11.000 But by the way, a little side note there. 1.00

01:49:14.000 The fucking... 1.00

01:49:25.000 Right, right. 1.00

01:49:27.000 Yeah, that sucked. 0.74

01:49:29.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:49:30.000 And he doesn't even give her mouth to mouth or try to recess her. 1.00

01:49:33.000 He's just like, oh, fuck, my stepdaughter's dead. 1.00

01:49:37.000 There we go. 1.00

01:49:39.000 Well, fuck. 1.00

01:49:40.000 There was that interesting movie I told you about. 1.00

01:49:42.000 All right, bye.

01:49:43.000 Thanks for calling.

01:49:44.000 Later, sir.

01:49:45.000 It's called The Rhythm Section.

01:49:48.000 And it is a female-led movie, but she is a clumsy, not badass type of chick, right? 1.00

01:49:57.000 And she's avenging her parents that got killed in a terrorist attack.

01:50:04.000 And guess what the terrorists are?

01:50:07.000 What?

01:50:07.000 Accident.

01:50:08.000 They're like ISIS. 0.99

01:50:09.000 Like it's like Islamic terrorists. 1.00

01:50:12.000 They say Islamic terrorists in it.

01:50:15.000 I've got nothing to lose. 0.99

01:50:17.000 So what's this gay movie you want me to watch? 0.97

01:50:20.000 Oh, Angel has fallen. 0.98

01:50:22.000 Sorry.

01:50:23.000 Just pause your tangent.

01:50:26.000 The movie I'm talking about is Angel has Fallen.

01:50:28.000 Gerard Butler finds his father, and his father is Nick Nolte. 0.93

01:50:33.000 And Nick Nolte's been living in the woods, hiding from the CIA and the FBI and all this shit. 0.99

01:50:38.000 And he kills everyone and blows up everything. 0.99

01:50:42.000 And it's what one wants in an action film from an old man. 0.96

01:50:47.000 Not what Arnold Schwarzenegger was, a loving sweetheart.

01:50:52.000 I want security for the president.

01:50:54.000 How do you think?

01:50:56.000 You've been here the last five years?

01:50:59.000 North Carolina.

01:51:00.000 Every time I see Gerard Butler, I like to pretend he's using his actual accent.

01:51:04.000 I've been working here for five years, by the way.

01:51:07.000 Big brother for you.

01:51:09.000 No.

01:51:10.000 Actually, it was just me wondering if you were still alive.

01:51:14.000 I wish you was still alive and all.

01:51:16.000 You can do it.

01:51:17.000 You'd like it if I did, wouldn't you?

01:51:21.000 Would you like it if I did, wouldn't you? 1.00

01:51:23.000 You'd love that, you fucking cunch. 1.00

01:51:25.000 So you would. 0.99

01:51:27.000 See you, people.

01:51:28.000 Hanging's too good for you.

01:51:30.000 Brand new hat.

01:51:31.000 Your brand new flaw.

01:51:32.000 CU Nick Nulty.

01:51:34.000 See you wardrobe designed with their brand new plaid.

01:51:37.000 How would he keep it that fight?

01:51:39.000 He's basically a homeless man, and he has this brand new hat on from Walmart.

01:51:39.000 Yeah, I like that.

01:51:44.000 Ladies, you suck. 1.00

01:51:46.000 Stop getting involved in movies, even as a stylist. 1.00

01:51:49.000 You know why Jaws was good?

01:51:50.000 Because the man was a stylist.

01:51:52.000 He was a gay man, but he was a good stylist. 1.00

01:51:55.000 You suck at it. 1.00

01:51:56.000 You forget shit at the last second, and then you go buy a hat at Walmart on the way down, and you stuff it on Nick Nulty's head, and it's brand fucking new. 1.00

01:52:05.000 And what you did to Robert Downey Jr. should be a fucking capital offense. 1.00

01:52:12.000 Wait, what's the shitty movie you wanted me to see? 1.00

01:52:14.000 It's called The Rhythm Section. 0.98

01:52:16.000 And it ain't bad.

01:52:19.000 It ain't bad.

01:52:20.000 The bad guys are, the real life bad guys. 1.00

01:52:22.000 It's not like Russians or like, But is she a kick-ass bitch who... 1.00

01:52:31.000 And then she does some badass things, but really, no, she's like weak. 1.00

01:52:34.000 As long as she's not like killing someone with a pen in their neck and that kind of stuff.

01:52:37.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

01:52:38.000 She's weak. 0.75

01:52:38.000 She always needs help. 0.75

01:52:40.000 She's normal.

01:52:41.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.97

01:52:42.000 It's pretty fucking good. 0.93

01:52:43.000 And this is how you know it's good. 0.98

01:52:44.000 28% tomato meter audience growth.

01:52:46.000 When was the last time you read a book?

01:52:47.000 It's been a while since I...

01:52:52.000 When's the last time you read a book?

01:52:54.000 The whole book?

01:52:55.000 Yeah.

01:52:56.000 Oh, my God.

01:52:56.000 Years ago.

01:52:58.000 You haven't read a book in years.

01:52:59.000 No.

01:53:00.000 That's an insult, people say.

01:53:02.000 Wow.

01:53:03.000 Wait, what did I read?

01:53:04.000 He probably hasn't read a book in years.

01:53:08.000 Facts are insults to you.

01:53:11.000 I don't know.

01:53:13.000 Touche.

01:53:14.000 Touche.

01:53:16.000 Diego.

01:53:18.000 Diego. 0.99

01:53:21.000 Sunglasses guy was watching porn. 0.95

01:53:23.000 Hello? 0.97

01:53:27.000 Oh.

01:53:28.000 Hey, what's up, guys?

01:53:30.000 Hello.

01:53:31.000 What's up, dude?

01:53:32.000 Hey, so, yeah, I was watching your earlier today, right?

01:53:37.000 Like an hour ago, the dude with the beard guy with the sunglasses, if you look at his reflection, I'm pretty sure he's watching porn on his computer. 0.99

01:53:46.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

01:53:48.000 No way. 1.00

01:53:50.000 Yeah.

01:53:51.000 I just want to put that.

01:53:52.000 I was like, I was literally laughing out loud.

01:53:55.000 I was like, is this people just humping?

01:53:57.000 He was in a kindergarten.

01:53:59.000 It looked like he was in a pre-K room.

01:54:01.000 There was alphabet on the wall.

01:54:04.000 Yeah.

01:54:05.000 No, no, for sure.

01:54:06.000 He was in a pre-K room, but watching porn, I think, because of the sunglasses.

01:54:09.000 Wowie.

01:54:10.000 That's not the kind of letter we want.

01:54:12.000 Thank you for calling.

01:54:13.000 Let's, let's.

01:54:18.000 Should we?

01:54:19.000 Yeah.

01:54:20.000 All right.

01:54:21.000 I got to drop this call real quick.

01:54:22.000 All right, wait, wait.

01:54:23.000 Drop the call the second I say thank you for calling.

01:54:26.000 Let me see here.

01:54:27.000 Oh my God, you're drunk.

01:54:28.000 Well, I got to find the thing.

01:54:30.000 You had it.

01:54:32.000 Yeah, but I closed it because we were done with it.

01:54:33.000 What are we going to watch it again?

01:54:35.000 No, you had it in this search.

01:54:38.000 No.

01:54:40.000 I did not.

01:54:42.000 All right, let's wait patiently.

01:54:44.000 So video comment.

01:54:49.000 Yay! 0.99

01:54:51.000 There we go.

01:54:52.000 Okay, that's really good.

01:54:57.000 Moment of tooth.

01:55:00.000 I see an arrow.

01:55:03.000 Me too.

01:55:10.000 Wait a minute.

01:55:11.000 I see a per- wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 0.98

01:55:13.000 Does it look more like a UFC thing?

01:55:16.000 Yeah, I think it's a UFC thing.

01:55:18.000 Oh, wait, no, no, no. 0.76

01:55:19.000 That's porn. 0.91

01:55:20.000 Wait, wait. 0.90

01:55:21.000 Oh, it is.

01:55:21.000 That is banging.

01:55:23.000 It is.

01:55:24.000 Is that the joke? 0.99

01:55:25.000 Is that the joke or is he watching porn? 1.00

01:55:27.000 he's fucking with us. 1.00

01:55:30.000 Of course. 1.00

01:55:31.000 Because he's talking about masculinity.

01:55:33.000 Yeah.

01:55:34.000 Let's review.

01:55:35.000 Yes.

01:55:36.000 That's actually a very brilliant prank.

01:55:38.000 What's up, Jesus? 1.00

01:55:39.000 What is this fucking... 1.00

01:55:52.000 That guy's either like an Antifa trying to ruin us. 1.00

01:55:56.000 Oh, wait, is this going on YouTube?

01:55:58.000 Who's the guy?

01:55:59.000 No, this is off now.

01:56:00.000 But the video message was on YouTube before.

01:56:04.000 Wait, it was on YouTube before, right?

01:56:06.000 You can't ban somebody from looking at, I mean.

01:56:06.000 From South Carolina.

01:56:10.000 You could even make the argument that that's just the clothing or cartoon.

01:56:13.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:56:14.000 Just wanted to send you a message saying thank you for everything you do. 0.79

01:56:19.000 It's just fucking awesome to have a show that I can go to that is not a shame as a gay masculine. 0.96

01:56:27.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

01:56:28.000 It must be gay proving the best. 1.00

01:56:33.000 Just wanted to say thank you, Uhuru. 0.97

01:56:37.000 And I like you more than a friend.

01:56:41.000 So wait a minute.

01:56:42.000 I don't know.

01:56:43.000 Before we make that free on YouTube, we have to make sure that we blur that or something.

01:56:48.000 I don't think that needs to be blurred.

01:56:49.000 I'll blur it.

01:56:50.000 No, no.

01:56:51.000 Logic has nothing to do with anything anymore. 0.97

01:56:55.000 So they could say they're showing gay porn, and then they Show that and then we're banned. 0.65

01:57:02.000 All right, let's take maybe another call or two. 0.98

01:57:06.000 We got Jimmy Fennon.

01:57:10.000 My brother, how are you?

01:57:12.000 Do you find it ironic?

01:57:14.000 I know you see the irony in the fact that only you guys could get the word censored, censored.

01:57:20.000 Like, oh my God.

01:57:21.000 And if you put, if you spell dots in brackets, it passes.

01:57:25.000 So that's how I've been getting my post though.

01:57:27.000 But I wanted to ask you guys, have you been tuned in ever to Canada's greatest gift to the world since Trailer Park Boys?

01:57:36.000 It's called Letter Kenny.

01:57:37.000 Have you checked it at all?

01:57:39.000 Letter Ken.

01:57:42.000 Letter Kenny.

01:57:43.000 It's a show.

01:57:44.000 Check it.

01:57:45.000 You'll love it.

01:57:45.000 Anyways, I'm the guy that called about meeting a girl in the YouTube comment section that said, you said you'd officiate the wedding.

01:57:52.000 She's been kind of cool with me lately, you know, like really busy and vacationing.

01:57:55.000 And, well, her brother seems to be sick a lot.

01:57:58.000 Her mother always needs a ride, even though, well, she's in Vancouver.

01:58:01.000 I think her parents are in Toronto.

01:58:03.000 But, dude, we're going to be the first to be married in the YouTube comment section.

01:58:06.000 So you're off the hook, kinda.

01:58:08.000 I still want you to officiate.

01:58:09.000 You sound like something at a 90-day fiancé. 1.00

01:58:12.000 You know, she's fucking with you, right? 1.00

01:58:16.000 No, dude, this is for real. 1.00

01:58:18.000 Are you going to pack edible panties when you go to visit her in Mexico?

01:58:25.000 No, she hasn't asked me for money yet.

01:58:26.000 And I think this is completely legit.

01:58:28.000 Yeah, it's only been, well, it's been, it's almost 60 days, Gavin.

01:58:32.000 Yeah, it's been 60 days since.

01:58:34.000 All right, let's see what happens at 90 days.

01:58:38.000 All right, thanks for calling.

01:58:40.000 Great hearing from you.

01:58:41.000 I thought you were messing with him when you didn't know Letterkenny.

01:58:44.000 No, I know Letter Kenny.

01:58:45.000 Yeah.

01:58:45.000 Okay.

01:58:47.000 We got Alex also talking about Letter Kenny. 0.99

01:58:51.000 It's amazing how many people call me about shit that's like seven years old. 0.98

01:58:56.000 Hello? 0.99

01:58:57.000 Alex, you're here to talk to you.

01:58:59.000 Living under a rock?

01:59:00.000 Yeah, sorry. 1.00

01:59:02.000 So he took my fucking idea. 0.98

01:59:03.000 So I guess I'll talk about Copper Cab. 0.99

01:59:07.000 Kind of glad that you brought him onto the network and stuff. 0.98

01:59:10.000 I've been a fan of him since he shit came out back in 2011 or some shit. 0.97

01:59:15.000 But he actually turned me on to you, Kevin. 1.00

01:59:18.000 And it's kind of crazy because the way you guys bicker and shit, it's fucking insane. 0.97

01:59:22.000 And I just want to say it's awesome that you brought him on. 0.99

01:59:25.000 And I hope to look forward to his shit later on. 0.99

01:59:28.000 All right, man. 0.99

01:59:29.000 Well, thanks for calling.

01:59:32.000 It's great talking to you.

01:59:35.000 Appreciate it.

01:59:37.000 Now this is last call right now.

01:59:41.000 So would you like me to go through the people have been waiting on hold.

01:59:46.000 We should answer them.

01:59:48.000 Kelly, talking about the X-Batch.

01:59:52.000 Kelly, go ahead and batch. 0.57

01:59:54.000 Is your name Kelly?

01:59:57.000 Not at all.

01:59:58.000 Oh. 0.95

01:59:59.000 The song Allie X, or the song by Allie X, you probably know who she is, but she has a song called Bitch. 1.00

02:00:06.000 And I don't know if she's just joking or what her deal is, but it sounds like she's putting forward pretty strong gender roles. 0.76

02:00:16.000 Like good moral gender roles. 0.99

02:00:19.000 The song is Bitch by Ali X. All right, let's check it out. 0.96

02:00:23.000 All right, thanks.

02:00:25.000 And that's our last call.

02:00:26.000 All right.

02:00:29.000 Here we go.

02:00:31.000 Allie X. I'm gonna bake and make your dinner.

02:00:49.000 I hate music.

02:00:53.000 You can bring me home and make it.

02:00:56.000 It's because it's pretentious.

02:00:58.000 Just because it's like, it's always the same.

02:01:01.000 Maybe I just, maybe the reason I like all that Australian stuff is that it's so back to basics.

02:01:07.000 Yeah, it's got energy and it's not trying to be cool.

02:01:10.000 Yeah.

02:01:10.000 I don't like cool.

02:01:11.000 Like, this is such a pretty girl that has culture.

02:01:16.000 You know how hot girls are sick of you seeing them as hot girls and they're like, actually, I'm a musician or I have a photographer. 0.98

02:01:22.000 They always want to look their hottest while doing that, don't they?

02:01:24.000 Yeah.

02:01:24.000 yeah it's phony Slip through that.

02:01:34.000 Do you want to pick an ending song that we wouldn't be able to play normally?

02:01:38.000 Since we get this paywall?

02:01:42.000 Yeah.

02:01:43.000 Let's do State of the Union by the Kinks. 0.83

02:01:47.000 We couldn't play that.

02:01:48.000 I forgot to play that the other day.

02:01:50.000 Just to state, State, State of the Union.

02:01:53.000 Whoa! 0.71

02:01:58.000 Wow, all that's coming up is the actual State of the Union. 1.00

02:02:01.000 Even if you put the case Oh, shit. 1.00

02:02:05.000 I'm a fucking idiot. 1.00

02:02:07.000 Oh, you want to play State of the... 1.00

02:02:11.000 I thought it was State of the Union.

02:02:14.000 It's all right.

02:02:15.000 Everybody makes mistakes. 0.99

02:02:16.000 This album sucks, by the way. 0.99

02:02:17.000 Do not buy it. 0.99

02:02:18.000 This is the only good song on it.

02:02:19.000 Every time you make a mistake, I'm super...

02:02:23.000 Well, yeah, you should be excited because it happens once in a blue moon.

02:02:26.000 It's good luck.

02:02:29.000 To set a precedent.

02:02:30.000 To be like, look, sometimes mistakes can be okay.

02:02:37.000 Put a block of ice.

02:02:41.000 It's a block of wine.

02:02:47.000 I like his alcoholic stepdad body. 0.97

02:02:53.000 Someone hasn't paid child support in a long ass time. 0.92

02:02:56.000 Someone's going to change the wheel into the old trailer routine.

02:03:24.000 Check out that man.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - February 08, 2020

GOML LIVE #33 - BANNED

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript