Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #43 - CAR SHOW

00:00:32.000 Yo, what's up?

00:00:33.000 Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn.

00:00:38.000 Before we start the show, I just want to give a shout out to DMS, Danny Diablo.

00:00:45.000 I just read on the way up the stairs that some dude from the Trapped, not the Ottawa punk band, but some other metal core band has just started beef with Danny Diablo of DMS.

00:00:59.000 That's fucking dumb.

00:01:04.000 This is what's so funny about Twitter.

00:01:06.000 You're just shitting on Ryan, shitting on Gavin, then you shit on Danny fucking Diablo, who I'm nervous right now saying that he's not someone to fuck with.

00:01:16.000 It's sort of like Chuck Zito.

00:01:18.000 Like everyone who respects him, you go, Chuck Zito, you, hey, do you respect Chuck Zito?

00:01:22.000 And people go, yeah, yeah, I do.

00:01:25.000 I don't want any trouble.

00:01:28.000 You fucking dummies.

00:01:30.000 You picked a fight with him?

00:01:32.000 Honestly, the dude from the trap should just leave the country.

00:01:35.000 That's what I would do.

00:01:37.000 If you start a war with Danny Diablo, I think it's smart just to get a passport, move to like Turkey and teach English.

00:01:45.000 Everyone needs an English teacher. 0.99

00:01:47.000 Everyone, I mean, in this shithole country.

00:01:49.000 All right, before we get started, Bubba and Hanks, 100% veteran-owned and operated Wagyu Beef Farm.

00:01:58.000 They shipped me a crate of stuff two weeks ago.

00:02:00.000 I'm slowly making my way through it.

00:02:02.000 It's unbelievable.

00:02:04.000 It's so good.

00:02:05.000 Wagyu filet, wagyu T-bone, wagyu chuck, wagyu ribeye, wagyu ground beef.

00:02:10.000 The ground beef I made into burgers and it changed my entire family's life.

00:02:14.000 We can't have normal burgers again.

00:02:16.000 And what we're going to do after we go behind the paywall in half an hour, we're going to be giving away $50 of stuff.

00:02:25.000 Tonight I'm giving callers one and two each.

00:02:27.000 Oh, I didn't even know this.

00:02:29.000 Free $50 gift cards to Bubba and Hanks.

00:02:32.000 And it arrives in this styrofoam thing, frozen.

00:02:34.000 You thaw it out in the fridge.

00:02:36.000 Don't just thaw it out, you know, on the counter or do something stupid like thaw it out in the microwave.

00:02:40.000 Thaw it out in the fridge slowly, throw it on and proceed to die.

00:02:44.000 You'll die a death more sweet than the cows.

00:02:48.000 Cows.

00:02:51.000 So support veteran-owned business.

00:02:54.000 All right.

00:02:57.000 This is what, day four of party week.

00:03:00.000 Monday we did it back in the burbs, and then we moved our offices back to Manhattan.

00:03:05.000 We moved the TriCaster and all the lighting and everything, the soundboard back to Manhattan.

00:03:10.000 On Tuesday, Tuesday we did the show.

00:03:13.000 And this is our first GOML live in Manhattan.

00:03:18.000 And I got to say, a little bit different in the day.

00:03:20.000 We've been shooting in the day.

00:03:22.000 And there's no parking still, which is weird.

00:03:25.000 We park in a parking garage, but I got parking tonight.

00:03:27.000 And dude, I drove by Penn Station trying to get those beers.

00:03:32.000 Every time I say beers, I turn into a Canadian beers, these fucking beers.

00:03:38.000 And Penn Station is unique.

00:03:41.000 Maybe because some people are still coming in from Grand Central, I guess, from like Long Island.

00:03:47.000 And no, Long Island is Penn Station.

00:03:49.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:03:50.000 Oh, I know why, because the only people in town are construction people and they leave at 3 p.m.

00:03:55.000 So Penn Station is Dawn of the Dead.

00:03:59.000 I dare you to go there right now and just wander around.

00:04:04.000 You will get AIDS on your eyeballs.

00:04:07.000 What is the Danny Diablo trapped thing, T-R-A-P-T?

00:04:10.000 And why are you looking at our own site and not looking up that?

00:04:15.000 I'm going to count the things you do weird.

00:04:18.000 Not wrong, because you're no longer wrong.

00:04:22.000 Trapped tries to take on Danny Diablo after he sides with iced tea and Twitter beef.

00:04:26.000 Look at the guys on the right and look at the guy on the left.

00:04:30.000 What are you thinking, dudes?

00:04:32.000 I remember there was this guy, David, who spelled his name D-V-I-D, David without the A. And he just kept fucking with Danny, Lord Isaac, again and again and again.

00:04:43.000 And I don't want to incriminate anyone legally, but it ended up real bad.

00:04:48.000 Real bad.

00:04:50.000 Any his.

00:04:51.000 Yeah, I've got...

00:05:00.000 I don't know anything about it.

00:05:01.000 We've given up.

00:05:02.000 We don't wear masks.

00:05:03.000 We hang around.

00:05:05.000 We've officially thrown in the towel.

00:05:07.000 I think this thing has a shelf life, and it doesn't really matter what you do.

00:05:12.000 40 days from the beginning, it peaks.

00:05:13.000 70 days after it's done, I did your little game.

00:05:17.000 I stayed at home.

00:05:18.000 I'm done.

00:05:19.000 My wife still won't let the kids have play dates, but I'll convince her soon enough.

00:05:25.000 Yeah, I don't believe it.

00:05:27.000 I wear the mask for everybody else to not look at me like I'm a butthole.

00:05:31.000 Well, it's funny because when I was getting the beer, the guy at the beer store said, Sada, you have to wear a mask?

00:05:37.000 And I was like, okay, next time.

00:05:38.000 But then when I was outside, everyone had a mask, the three people there.

00:05:43.000 And I thought, what if some dude was like, hey, man, where's your mask?

00:05:46.000 Now, my first instinct with that kind of thing is, fuck you.

00:05:49.000 And if it was like I was on a bicycle and the guy said, where's your helmet?

00:05:52.000 I'd go, thanks, Dad.

00:05:54.000 Safety first or something like that.

00:05:56.000 But this is different.

00:05:57.000 Because it's almost like...

00:06:01.000 It's almost like, oh, okay, I'm an atheist when it comes to Corona, but you believe in it.

00:06:05.000 Oh, here we are talking about Corona.

00:06:07.000 Okay, more important things.

00:06:08.000 Today is the cars episode.

00:06:10.000 I am in the market for a new car, which I don't think I am anymore because the prices are going up on a regular basis.

00:06:17.000 I'm never going to financially recover from this.

00:06:20.000 And he never did.

00:06:22.000 But I'm so frustrated by the way they look.

00:06:25.000 Look up any car right now.

00:06:27.000 Look up 2020 Jaguar, which Jaguar used to be the most beautiful car in the world.

00:06:33.000 In fact, I remember when I was a kid, my dad would always say, no, marketing's very effective.

00:06:39.000 You know, I don't believe in cows.

00:06:41.000 I couldn't care less about a car, but I want a Jaguar.

00:06:44.000 And he was saying this, by the way, when I was a kid.

00:06:46.000 So, like, 1980, they were beautiful back then.

00:06:48.000 But look at these.

00:06:49.000 Okay, of course, yeah.

00:06:52.000 All right, that looks pretty cool, actually.

00:06:54.000 The rear of it looks cool, but then the front of it looks like a freaking hotel.

00:06:57.000 Keep going, keep going.

00:07:00.000 Okay, those look.

00:07:00.000 Whoa.

00:07:01.000 Looks like a stiletto.

00:07:02.000 they seem to fix the problem.

00:07:04.000 Uh, yeah, but the front of this is a little too, It's still kind of nice.

00:07:09.000 Porsche?

00:07:10.000 Wow, those look pretty good.

00:07:12.000 This is not helping my point.

00:07:13.000 It's still pretty sick.

00:07:15.000 The last time I looked up Jaguars, they were, yeah, there we go.

00:07:17.000 Look at that blue one.

00:07:18.000 Yeah, that's a piece of sick.

00:07:19.000 That's a Jaguar.

00:07:20.000 Like when you dump your wife because you won the lottery, which is why all people fall out of love, and you get a trophy wife, you can't be seen in that blue fucking secretary car.

00:07:30.000 You don't like a car that has like the front of a Valvo and the body of a Subaru?

00:07:34.000 And it's a four.

00:07:34.000 What is that?

00:07:35.000 I can't even tell.

00:07:36.000 Like when I'm on the highway and I see a Porsche SUV, which should be an Oxymoron, you see a Porsche SUV and you go, well, this must be the coolest looking SUV ever.

00:07:44.000 No, it looks like every other, looks like a minivan.

00:07:48.000 There, now we're getting stinky.

00:07:49.000 All right, that's cool.

00:07:51.000 This is not helping my point.

00:07:53.000 From now on, I'm going to research and make sure I have the fake news visuals.

00:07:57.000 Okay, look up the Porsche SUV.

00:08:01.000 And don't name the year because it appears that everyone's been listening to me ranting for the past two years.

00:08:07.000 Yeah, that's a Porsche.

00:08:08.000 You're driving in a Porsche?

00:08:10.000 Go down a bit.

00:08:13.000 Cars are especially bad when they're blue.

00:08:16.000 Like light blue.

00:08:18.000 I have a light blue car.

00:08:20.000 Fuck you.

00:08:21.000 Blue shoes piss me off, but I see the blue car.

00:08:24.000 Oh, I hate those blue shoes that are like dress shoes, but they'll be blue suede with a white sole.

00:08:30.000 It's like, these are not your grandfather's dress shoes.

00:08:35.000 I'm reinventing the wheel with this shit, bitch. 1.00

00:08:38.000 So anyway, we have Chris Stevens from Eurotech Classics.

00:08:42.000 You may remember him from the show Garage Rehab.

00:08:47.000 I'm really into car shows, and I don't know anything about cars, but there's like two genres, and there's the Richard, what's his name?

00:08:55.000 Stevenson something?

00:08:57.000 And he doesn't dress so bad.

00:08:59.000 And he does, he does, he's Monkey Garage and the more normal shows.

00:09:04.000 But then there's these other shows like Car Rehab and fucking, I can't remember them now.

00:09:11.000 Well, Garage Rehab was Chris's show.

00:09:14.000 Yes.

00:09:14.000 But there's Counting Cars with this dude like Horny Mike who has horns on his bandana and they have these beards that come down to here with like a ponytail on it.

00:09:24.000 We should do a whole, let's have Chris as a regular guest and do a whole show on what the fuck are you dressed as?

00:09:31.000 And when you think of mechanics from coast to coast, top to bottom, how many of them have a balding mohawk?

00:09:40.000 Look at that thing. 0.92

00:09:41.000 That thing has five receiving heads. 1.00

00:09:43.000 The punk was invented as a way of saying, you're not allowed to be into this after 22.

00:09:48.000 It's for the youth.

00:09:50.000 And we put in certain stopgaps, such as you can't have a mohawk if you're balding, but not car guys in LA and Nevada.

00:09:58.000 They're like, oh yeah, check this out.

00:10:01.000 Oh, their facial hair with like, zoop, joop, joop, joop.

00:10:05.000 What are you doing?

00:10:06.000 That's just like 15 combo standing straight up.

00:10:10.000 What does the car guy in Wisconsin, northern Wisconsin, think when he sees these shows?

00:10:17.000 Anyway, so we'll talk to Chris about the death of cars.

00:10:20.000 I blame women, of course. 1.00

00:10:21.000 Like I blame them for everything.

00:10:26.000 But I also think environmentalism might be a factor where they go, make it look like shit and it's better for the environment.

00:10:32.000 Or make it look like shit so it crumples like aluminum foil.

00:10:35.000 Or make it, it doesn't have to be fast.

00:10:38.000 There he is, looking particularly greasy.

00:10:43.000 So we'll get to him in about 10 minutes.

00:10:46.000 Can you get him ready and waiting on Skype, but not too right this second because he's not going to stay on hold for sure.

00:10:54.000 Oh, sure, sure.

00:10:54.000 Yeah, we've been messaging him.

00:10:55.000 I sound sound.

00:10:56.000 Sounds hound.

00:10:58.000 Also in the news, when I left the house this evening and went to pick up Ryan, who's dressed as, what, a caretaker?

00:11:07.000 Like Q from James Bond.

00:11:10.000 After James Bond died and you're arranging his funeral?

00:11:12.000 Oh, is it like it's a cardigan with a...

00:11:18.000 Oh, you wish I was.

00:11:19.000 Except Asians died. 1.00

00:11:21.000 Cool.

00:11:22.000 I wish you worked at a funeral home, but as a client.

00:11:25.000 That means I'd be dead.

00:11:27.000 Yeah.

00:11:29.000 Oh, speaking.

00:11:30.000 Okay, okay, so we'll get to that.

00:11:31.000 So Forrest Gump, I was just watching that as I was, you know, grabbing my glasses and heading, grabbing my car keys.

00:11:39.000 That movie, I forgot, I haven't seen it in years.

00:11:42.000 The very beginning of the movie, Forrest Gump can't get into school because he's retarded. 1.00

00:11:47.000 So his mother offers to fuck the principal. 1.00

00:11:50.000 The principal obliges, and then Forrest sits on the porch as he hears as the principal fucks his mom.

00:12:01.000 And my kids are there.

00:12:03.000 I forgot that it's a porn.

00:12:06.000 And then as the principal walks away, he goes, boy, your mommy sure wants you to get into this school, Forrest.

00:12:12.000 And then as he walks away, Forrest goes, who's retarded, goes, I mean, the guy just gives him like a mean look. 0.89

00:12:20.000 Like he gives the kid a gross look as if he's the dirtbag.

00:12:23.000 And also, you know exactly what you're going to get with the box of chocolates because there's a fucking chart in the box.

00:12:30.000 It says cherry surprise.

00:12:33.000 No surprise with the cherry surprise.

00:12:36.000 It says Nouga. 0.85

00:12:39.000 It has everything listed.

00:12:41.000 And you lost the piece of paper?

00:12:43.000 Okay, you have a very unusual box of chocolates.

00:12:47.000 People tend to not lose.

00:12:51.000 I'm turning into that fucking guy we were cringing at earlier.

00:12:53.000 Oh, can I tell you something?

00:12:58.000 That's too good.

00:12:59.000 You don't lose The piece of paper when you get a box of chocolates.

00:13:05.000 Let's see here.

00:13:07.000 Oh, yeah.

00:13:08.000 So, dinosaurs come in different sizes.

00:13:12.000 There's really big ones and there's smaller ones.

00:13:17.000 There's also medium-sized.

00:13:19.000 I gotta get a beer.

00:13:20.000 I'm gonna throw up.

00:13:22.000 Excuse me.

00:13:23.000 Can you and your friend stop laughing at me?

00:13:27.000 I'm trying to do a presentation here.

00:13:30.000 Anyways, so, um, yeah, there's also herbivores where they only eat vegetables.

00:13:39.000 And there's carnivores where they only eat meat.

00:13:45.000 Check out the other one.

00:13:46.000 Check out the other one.

00:13:47.000 It's even more painful because he includes his toes.

00:13:52.000 I'm becoming like a cringe.

00:13:55.000 I'm becoming the lemmy of cringe.

00:13:57.000 Like, I want it turned up to 11.

00:14:02.000 Oh! 0.60

00:14:04.000 Hi there!

00:14:06.000 My name's Charmiander.

00:14:08.000 And I recently learned a new trick.

00:14:13.000 Toes and the grunt, the growling?

00:14:17.000 I can turn myself into a wolf.

00:14:20.000 Can I show you?

00:14:21.000 I don't know what's happening.

00:14:25.000 Okay.

00:14:26.000 Where's his father?

00:14:28.000 Or should I say, wolf with me here?

00:14:31.000 His brother!

00:14:32.000 Bring his sister.

00:14:33.000 Your sister should beat you up for this. 1.00

00:14:41.000 That's a wolf.

00:14:44.000 I feel like Liam Neeson at the end of that movie.

00:14:47.000 Taken?

00:14:49.000 Yeah, Ryan.

00:14:50.000 Not the movie where he's being chased by wolves the entire time.

00:14:50.000 Taken.

00:14:56.000 Like, do his friends like this?

00:15:01.000 Andrew Curtis.

00:15:04.000 How about that, eh?

00:15:05.000 You know when you work out and then you have a shower, but you're still kind of buzzing after the shower and you're almost sweating after the shower?

00:15:13.000 Even though you've watched it.

00:15:14.000 That's how I feel after that.

00:15:16.000 I think he's inspired by Kingdom Hearts or something.

00:15:19.000 I don't know what that is.

00:15:20.000 But whatever that is, it's for two-year-olds.

00:15:23.000 Like, that's teletubby level.

00:15:23.000 I guess.

00:15:26.000 Teletubby level.

00:15:28.000 I'm doing that so we can advertise our sponsors, too.

00:15:30.000 Teletubby?

00:15:33.000 Shut up, Brian.

00:15:37.000 Red Pill Living is our next short read.

00:15:41.000 They sent us custom mugs that I'm using here now.

00:15:45.000 And they're tremendous mugs.

00:15:48.000 Phenomenal coffee.

00:15:49.000 Excellent people at redpillliving.com.

00:15:51.000 Right now, my listeners get 15% off all purchases at redpillliving.com.

00:15:56.000 Just use promo code Gavin.

00:15:57.000 Buy a custom mug with your name on it.

00:15:59.000 Buy some coffee.

00:16:00.000 Boost your energy and your immunity.

00:16:02.000 RedpillLiving.com promo code Gavin.

00:16:04.000 Support Patriot-owned business.

00:16:07.000 And we will be going through every single country's flavors of their coffee.

00:16:14.000 That's the essential oils. 0.97

00:16:16.000 We may get to that too.

00:16:17.000 Who knows?

00:16:18.000 But we've been having the coffee here at the studio in New York, and it packs a punch.

00:16:25.000 It's got a wallop to it.

00:16:28.000 And if you find you get sketched out when you take too much coffee, then I highly recommend these is it the tinctures?

00:16:36.000 Is that how it's pronounced?

00:16:38.000 Tinctures.

00:16:39.000 Tinctures?

00:16:41.000 So yeah, please go to redpillliving.com, use the promo code Gavin, and support Patriot-owned business.

00:16:49.000 Okay, we're not even getting close to the news here.

00:16:55.000 I had a brilliant idea for an invention.

00:16:59.000 And again, we've had entire episodes dedicated to inventions.

00:17:02.000 They're all free.

00:17:03.000 Go nuts.

00:17:05.000 But how about this idea?

00:17:06.000 You ready for this?

00:17:07.000 You know how you go...

00:17:16.000 You really just want two, maybe three drinks, right?

00:17:19.000 And you shouldn't start drinking bourbon until maybe eight o'clock at night, maybe seven.

00:17:25.000 If you can stick to beer, then, you know, you can have fucking 100 beers.

00:17:30.000 They don't do anything.

00:17:32.000 But the problem with bourbon is the next day is polluted.

00:17:35.000 You know when we partied Saturday night?

00:17:36.000 You know when I fully recovered?

00:17:39.000 It was Sunday night.

00:17:39.000 When?

00:17:40.000 Sunday night, sorry.

00:17:42.000 Thursday.

00:17:43.000 That's today.

00:17:43.000 Monday was AIDS.

00:17:45.000 Tuesday was hell.

00:17:48.000 Wednesday was just being 150 years old.

00:17:51.000 And then this morning I woke up and I was kind of a human.

00:17:55.000 Oh, and you know what I did today?

00:17:56.000 I tried my wife's Peloton.

00:17:58.000 How's that for gay? 0.98

00:18:00.000 I felt ugly.

00:18:01.000 I felt gay.

00:18:04.000 Dude, it is brutal.

00:18:06.000 It's really, really hard.

00:18:09.000 And you feel like at one point my heart was going so fast, I was worried about my safety.

00:18:13.000 I was worried I was going to have a heart attack and die.

00:18:14.000 My kids would have no father.

00:18:16.000 I was fantasizing about jumping off and lying on the ground most of the time.

00:18:20.000 And even the, there's an arm workout section with my little, my, my wife's little girly weights where you're going like this and doing this stuff.

00:18:27.000 Even that's pretty grueling.

00:18:29.000 And the thing, I did 45 minutes straight.

00:18:32.000 The thing about boxing is you get little breaks and you can cheat.

00:18:36.000 This, you cannot go below, I think, 50 miles an hour or whatever the, I don't know exactly what the, the number 50, it feels like 50 miles an hour.

00:18:45.000 But, and you have to wear these horribly gay little shoes where I felt ugly. 1.00

00:18:50.000 I felt stupid.

00:18:51.000 I felt gay.

00:18:54.000 I felt gay.

00:18:54.000 I felt ugly.

00:18:58.000 I'm going to, I'm going to stick with it because I want to be able to have enough gas in the tank, as we say in boxing, to be alert for four rounds.

00:19:10.000 Oh, buying the shoes is the worst.

00:19:13.000 It takes you three times.

00:19:14.000 You got to get these stupid clips.

00:19:16.000 It's like this Xbox I bought for the kids.

00:19:18.000 I thought, all right, let's get the kids playing video.

00:19:20.000 They're going to play video games inevitably, right?

00:19:22.000 You can't change that.

00:19:24.000 So I actually don't mind if my sons or any combination of my kids are playing the same video game.

00:19:30.000 I mean, for a couple hours or something, but at least they're bonding, they're talking to each other.

00:19:34.000 That's not a problem.

00:19:36.000 So I got the, we have an Xbox 360.

00:19:38.000 All the games are super corny, like you're jumping up and down on a raft.

00:19:42.000 So I got rid of that.

00:19:44.000 Got the Xbox 360.

00:19:46.000 No, no, the Xbox X. Xbox One S. Xbox One S. It comes with two controllers.

00:19:53.000 And so I get Dance, Dance, Just Dance 2020, and FIFA.

00:19:58.000 All right.

00:20:00.000 Comes in the mail.

00:20:01.000 It doesn't have a sensor.

00:20:02.000 That's a separate thing you have to buy.

00:20:06.000 I'm so sick of things not coming with the stuff.

00:20:08.000 With the soundtrack.

00:20:10.000 And then, oh, you can use your phone.

00:20:11.000 Yeah, sure.

00:20:12.000 So then I got to go buy that and then an extension.

00:20:12.000 You can use your fucking phone.

00:20:16.000 I think I'm already getting drunk.

00:20:19.000 And then I go, all right, I'll just do the FIFA thing.

00:20:22.000 Now, I'm from the 80s where you had Atari, you just plugged it in, and it was joust, and there you were.

00:20:28.000 You didn't have to watch the intro.

00:20:30.000 This fucking thing is so infuriating.

00:20:33.000 You have to set up these at Microsoft accounts.

00:20:36.000 You have to tell them your credit card, all that.

00:20:39.000 That I would, I would, I was working on this for an hour setting it up.

00:20:44.000 Like, shouldn't it just be you unplug your old VCR and you put in your new DVD player?

00:20:49.000 This is you unplug your old Xbox and you start a company.

00:20:53.000 I basically registered an LLC.

00:20:55.000 I'm not really exaggerating.

00:20:58.000 But I think eventually I'll get to this and my son, one boy can be red and the other boy can be white.

00:21:03.000 All right, sounds good.

00:21:05.000 I get in there.

00:21:06.000 Aren't they a combo of both?

00:21:08.000 After I get there, I finally get it in.

00:21:13.000 I finally set up all the accounts, all the passwords.

00:21:15.000 I'll never remember any of them.

00:21:17.000 I won't even remember the usernames because everything's taken, right?

00:21:20.000 Because too many fucking adults are playing these goddamn things.

00:21:23.000 And I finally set it up and it's like, choose your player.

00:21:25.000 And I'm just like, I don't know, him.

00:21:27.000 Like, okay, what kind of hair?

00:21:30.000 And the shorts, would you like the shorts?

00:21:30.000 Yeah.

00:21:32.000 I don't give a fuck about the fucking shorts.

00:21:34.000 I was getting so fucking mad.

00:21:38.000 And then I make his name John because that's my youngest boy's name.

00:21:41.000 It says there's a word with profanity in the name.

00:21:45.000 John.

00:21:46.000 No.

00:21:47.000 I changed everything else, and it didn't work until I changed the name John to JB.

00:21:53.000 What?

00:21:54.000 Do you think that means dick, you fucking idiots at whoever makes this shit?

00:21:59.000 That's crazy.

00:22:00.000 I know you can't use Trump or MAGA.

00:22:03.000 So I'm at an hour in, maybe more, maybe an hour and 20 minutes.

00:22:08.000 Still nowhere near two people playing.

00:22:10.000 I have no idea how to set up two players.

00:22:12.000 It's not a button.

00:22:13.000 I think it's two profiles you have to set up.

00:22:16.000 And then I finally get started and I'm in some ghetto like alleyway gymnasium where I guess I'm not good enough to go. 0.88

00:22:26.000 I don't want to start a whole soccer player's fucking career.

00:22:30.000 Why don't you just have me come out of the womb and I'll breastfeed for a little while and eventually I'll become interested in soccer because my cousins play it.

00:22:38.000 Or you don't get into soccer.

00:22:40.000 I don't get into soccer.

00:22:40.000 I just end up becoming a drug dealer.

00:22:42.000 Now I'm playing Grand Theft Auto in FIFA.

00:22:45.000 Or you're playing video games in the video game'cause you're just slacking on your We're not far from a Grand Theft Auto where the guy would rather play soccer and he ends up playing like a shitty FIFA.

00:22:57.000 I had to be a baby in my game.

00:22:59.000 I was raised by a man and taught how to shoot an arrow.

00:23:03.000 Oh, in your little girl game that you play where you go and get fancy rocks?

00:23:08.000 What's that game called?

00:23:10.000 Horizon Zero Dawn and it rules.

00:23:11.000 Horizon Zero Dawn, where Ryan looks like fucking moldilocks from Antifa. 0.81

00:23:18.000 That's a good idea.

00:23:18.000 And he jumps through the forest with a perfect ass and a little, like, raccoon skin dress.

00:23:24.000 She is not... 1.00

00:23:26.000 She's not even that sexy.

00:23:28.000 No, she doesn't reveal.

00:23:28.000 This is Ryan's defense.

00:23:29.000 She's totally butch. 1.00

00:23:31.000 The chick that I become is like a badass tomboy, dude. 1.00

00:23:35.000 Look at her, man.

00:23:36.000 She's dressed dignified.

00:23:37.000 Yeah, she's cool.

00:23:38.000 No, the woman you are is a cruel woman. 1.00

00:23:41.000 Interesting defense.

00:23:43.000 The woman I am is a badass. 0.99

00:23:45.000 I think she's just a guy with long hair boots and kids and a vagina, that's all. 1.00

00:23:50.000 Still basically a dude anyway.

00:23:52.000 Basically, tomboys are basically...

00:23:56.000 I'm just a tomboy with a penis.

00:23:57.000 Look at these robot fights.

00:23:58.000 Yeah.

00:23:59.000 Oh, badass, man.

00:24:00.000 You're almost like a dude.

00:24:02.000 You're so badass.

00:24:02.000 You didn't have to do any stupid paperwork to get started and get good at it, if you will.

00:24:08.000 There's a human element, of course.

00:24:11.000 Okay, before we get to Chris, is he on the line yet?

00:24:13.000 Yeah.

00:24:14.000 He's waiting for us.

00:24:15.000 Why don't we interview Chris, ask him why cars suck, then we'll do the last read, then we'll go behind the paywall, and then he'll take us through his shop and show us all this cool shit.

00:24:25.000 Cool.

00:24:26.000 But before we get to any of that, I still haven't told you my invention.

00:24:29.000 All right.

00:24:31.000 So it's a safe, right?

00:24:33.000 It's this big.

00:24:35.000 And the maker's bottle goes in it upside down.

00:24:37.000 Shit, you'd have to have it customized for your...

00:24:42.000 Anyway, the neck comes out the bottom.

00:24:44.000 And you know when you go to bars and they have that one ounce thing?

00:24:48.000 So you set your ounce.

00:24:49.000 An ounce is too little for me.

00:24:51.000 So maybe it's two ounces, right?

00:24:53.000 So you have your drink, you put it there.

00:24:55.000 In the safe, it's locked.

00:24:56.000 The bottle's locked.

00:24:58.000 You go, whatever your setting is.

00:25:02.000 Let's say it's three ounces.

00:25:04.000 And then you take it out, right?

00:25:06.000 You can chug it.

00:25:08.000 Now you go back, it doesn't work.

00:25:10.000 It doesn't work for two hours.

00:25:12.000 Just like a passcode on an iPhone, when you do it too many times, you got to wait 10 minutes.

00:25:16.000 So if you have a drink at 8, you can't have another drink until 10.

00:25:21.000 Now, you can break the thing, of course.

00:25:23.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:25:24.000 But as you're breaking it, you should probably realize you've got a pretty serious problem.

00:25:30.000 How much would this be?

00:25:31.000 What's the price point?

00:25:32.000 Holy shit.

00:25:33.000 I may or may not have just found some pills underneath that can.

00:25:38.000 The symbols.

00:25:40.000 Wait, what's the question?

00:25:41.000 How much, what's the price point for this item?

00:25:43.000 We'll get to that.

00:25:44.000 Now you go, well, how do I replace it?

00:25:47.000 The sensors don't open until the bottle's empty.

00:25:50.000 And then, kachunk, it just opens.

00:25:53.000 Mm, yeah.

00:25:56.000 That's a good idea.

00:25:57.000 So if you have your first drink at 8, you'll probably Get another one in at 10.

00:26:01.000 I don't know if you're going to go to 12.

00:26:03.000 You're definitely not going till 2.

00:26:05.000 So the worst case scenario in giant air quotes is 8, 10, 12.

00:26:10.000 I don't think that's going to be a hangover.

00:26:15.000 Hey, if there are any billionaire industrial designers out there who can just make me that personally, you can keep the invention.

00:26:24.000 I don't have time to deal with that shit.

00:26:26.000 All right.

00:26:27.000 You know what we've just gotten through, by the way?

00:26:29.000 None of my actual notes.

00:26:31.000 We just got through my last-minute scribbles of shit I forgot to mention after we printed out my notes.

00:26:38.000 Isn't that fun?

00:26:39.000 That's bizarre, though.

00:26:42.000 All right, let's get to fucking Chris Stevens. 0.99

00:26:54.000 Chris, are you there, sir?

00:26:57.000 Yeah, man, I'm here.

00:26:58.000 Chris is at, that's your brother's shop, right?

00:27:01.000 Eurotech Classics?

00:27:03.000 No, it's my shop, too.

00:27:04.000 We're co-owners.

00:27:05.000 Right.

00:27:06.000 Split it.

00:27:06.000 50-50.

00:27:07.000 Sorry, I meant to say that's you and your brother's shop.

00:27:10.000 And you deal with beautiful European cars, BMWs.

00:27:16.000 Any motorbikes in there?

00:27:18.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:27:18.000 I got like a vintage early 90s Honda VFR behind me there.

00:27:23.000 So like, it's actually, we're doing a really cool deal with the, well, it used to be a British company, but remember the company Royal Enfield?

00:27:31.000 Oh, yeah.

00:27:31.000 Beautiful.

00:27:32.000 So I just got a phone call from them yesterday, and they chose five people around the world to do a custom bike build.

00:27:39.000 And I'm the North American.

00:27:41.000 Oh, nice.

00:27:42.000 Is it a competition?

00:27:43.000 What is it?

00:27:44.000 Yeah, well, I haven't got the details yet.

00:27:46.000 Basically, what it is, is it's supposed to be a build where it won't be like these TV shows where it's like ridiculous builds using crazy equipment that nobody can afford or do on their own.

00:27:56.000 It's supposed to influence you.

00:27:58.000 Like if you were to buy a new motorcycle, how can I put my own flair on it under a certain budget?

00:28:02.000 So I'll be getting a budget and a brand new motorcycle, doing some bolt-ons, and I'll add some of my own like flair and a little bit of fab work, but I won't make it stupid to ride like a little chopper with little teeny bars.

00:28:14.000 I'm not doing anything like that.

00:28:15.000 It'll be a completely rideable, if not just as good as stock or better is what I'm, you know, aiming for.

00:28:21.000 Well, most of these rehab shows, I look at the final product and go, I couldn't have it in my driveway.

00:28:26.000 I'd be too embarrassed.

00:28:27.000 I don't want a DJ booth in the trunk.

00:28:30.000 Well, yeah, that would be like the TV shows like 15 years ago.

00:28:33.000 But yeah, I get what you're saying.

00:28:35.000 They make the cars so ridiculous that they're on air ride.

00:28:38.000 They're too low.

00:28:39.000 But even now, I showed you that D. Snyder electric car he had redone.

00:28:44.000 It looked like Iron Man Secretary's car.

00:28:48.000 Dude, I don't get it, man.

00:28:49.000 Like, I can't watch those shows because it just makes my skin crawl, man.

00:28:53.000 Yeah, they make cars that are embarrassing.

00:28:55.000 But the reason I wanted to call you is because I'm in the market for a new car.

00:28:58.000 I was looking at the 2020 Range Rovers, and Range Rover has gone from a pretty decent car, even as late as the 90s.

00:29:06.000 And when I say decent, I'm purely talking as a homo who doesn't know anything about the insides. 1.00

00:29:11.000 I just like the outsides, and I like right angles.

00:29:15.000 And I look at the 90s, even up to 2000, you look at Range Rovers and you go, those look pretty good.

00:29:20.000 And now you see the new Range Rover, like that one.

00:29:22.000 The convertible looks like a kid's toy.

00:29:27.000 Well, yeah, because I don't know.

00:29:29.000 I mean, men aren't buying them anymore. 1.00

00:29:32.000 That's what I suspected.

00:29:33.000 The housewives were buying the family cars, and they... 0.95

00:29:39.000 Why do women hate right angles? 1.00

00:29:41.000 Women don't like the look of a 2000 Range Rover? 1.00

00:29:44.000 Yes, you are correct on that.

00:29:45.000 They do not like straight angles.

00:29:47.000 They don't like sharp edges.

00:29:48.000 They want things to be round and smooth and kind of monochromatic.

00:29:52.000 They don't want fancy colors, anything like that.

00:29:55.000 British Racing Green is out of the question now.

00:29:57.000 They need blacks, grays, white, and silvers. 0.97

00:30:02.000 Is it also something to do with aerodynamics and saving the planet?

00:30:07.000 I mean, I guess it's an added bonus, but does it really matter?

00:30:10.000 No.

00:30:11.000 I mean, remember, the SUV kind of came from the whole military background with trucks where things were assembled so they can be disassembled.

00:30:19.000 So like a fender can come off.

00:30:21.000 Well, it's not going to be round.

00:30:22.000 It's going to be a nice square angle like a Jeep would be or an old Range Rover Classic or Land Rover Defender.

00:30:28.000 So it's supposed to be fully rebuildable, repairable, and replaceable.

00:30:32.000 So nowadays, everything's meant to be thrown away after a certain, you know, once the warranty's up, that's it.

00:30:38.000 You know, it goes to the second and third party sellers.

00:30:40.000 Well, even once you're in an accident, every time I've been in an accident, they're like, this is garbage.

00:30:45.000 Just fucking, you might as well get a new one.

00:30:47.000 We're done.

00:30:48.000 Yeah.

00:30:49.000 And SUVs also used to have like towing capacity, too.

00:30:52.000 So you could actually tow an RV or a boat with it back in the day.

00:30:55.000 And now they realize, well, the guys with the boats and the RVs are just buying the big pickup trucks.

00:31:01.000 So like I got this beautiful BMW X3 that just came in.

00:31:04.000 And I usually wasn't an X3 fan, but aesthetically speaking, it looked good.

00:31:08.000 It was navy blue with brown leather sports seats.

00:31:11.000 I'm thinking like this might be a good car for my chicken home.

00:31:11.000 And I was loving it.

00:31:14.000 Well, I popped the hood and it has this little teeny four-cylinder turbo motor.

00:31:20.000 And then I was turned off.

00:31:21.000 I mean, there's so much space in between it.

00:31:23.000 And what it is, is just a throwaway motor.

00:31:25.000 It was cheap to manufacture.

00:31:27.000 They could slap it in.

00:31:28.000 They put it in the same three-series that they did on the X Drive X3.

00:31:32.000 So I just think it's ridiculous what they're doing now.

00:31:34.000 I'd like a V8, eight miles to the gallon, Range Rover Classic.

00:31:37.000 That'll do just fine.

00:31:39.000 I'm still trying to give them the benefit of the doubt.

00:31:41.000 So I guess the one thing they say is aerodynamic.

00:31:43.000 Now, we had those muscle cars like the Mustang, whatever, in the 70s, and the sort of, what's that called, Chevy Nova and all that stuff.

00:31:52.000 And they seem to have brought them back for a little while there.

00:31:55.000 And I assume they have all the souped up, environmentally friendly engines.

00:31:58.000 So those cars would be less good on gas because of the lack of aerodynamics.

00:32:04.000 But what are we talking annually here, like $7 in gas?

00:32:09.000 Well, yeah, that's always the debate.

00:32:11.000 You know, if you buy an electric car and you add up the cost, you know, for the electricity and the cost to own it, how long does it take for your return on that investment versus just an old car that you're not, you know, basically you're recycling, right?

00:32:25.000 You take an old car and you keep it on the road.

00:32:27.000 You're actually more green than the person that bought a brand new car because it saved it from going to the junkyard and, you know, everything else.

00:32:34.000 I mean, you're basically reducing your carbon footprint by restoring an old car and keeping it on the road.

00:32:39.000 Oh, I never thought of that.

00:32:40.000 Okay, last question with these horrible, disgusting, shitty cars that are being stuffed down our throats where a Jag and a Porsche all look like Honda Civics, they all look like little cough drops.

00:32:51.000 Is another reason for it so they crumple better?

00:32:54.000 Because we were watching a video the other day of this car chase, and this guy goes sideways.

00:32:59.000 The back of the entire car is cut off by a tree like it was aluminum foil, which I assume is safer than a Ford Galaxy from 1959 just going bang into it.

00:33:11.000 Yeah, I don't think the way they look is for safety.

00:33:14.000 I mean, I think they could still look cool and have all the safety devices.

00:33:17.000 I mean, airbags, that was a great invention.

00:33:19.000 And same thing with like seatbelts when Volvo started putting those in the production vehicles.

00:33:23.000 Those are great things.

00:33:24.000 You know, I'm all for safety, especially if you have a family.

00:33:27.000 But there's no reason for it to look so dinky.

00:33:30.000 You know, it doesn't.

00:33:31.000 Thank you for not saying gay, by the way.

00:33:33.000 I appreciate that.

00:33:35.000 I'm going to start using dinky.

00:33:38.000 I mean, I guess, like, I don't know.

00:33:41.000 They're not really considered like gay looking.

00:33:43.000 I don't know what gay looking would be with a car at all. 1.00

00:33:46.000 Yeah.

00:33:47.000 Well, I like a lot of gay looking things that you'd consider gay in a car, like the old Mercks, a 1980s Merck.

00:33:54.000 All right, let's put this in front of the paywall, and we'll make this free on YouTube.

00:34:00.000 And then now let's go back behind the paywall and see some of your, see what you got in there.

00:34:06.000 What you got behind the green door?

00:34:07.000 Music.

00:34:08.000 Music.

00:34:09.000 Thank you.

00:34:14.000 Johnny Apple CBD, jacbd.com.

00:34:20.000 Use the promo code Gavin.

00:34:22.000 Feel as great as I do.

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00:34:34.000 The gummies are delicious and relaxing.

00:34:36.000 and the topical cream helps my workout recovery, which I'm going to need tomorrow.

00:34:40.000 I think I might just cover my legs with the CBD tonight because as I was going...

00:34:47.000 Oh, that's the tincture.

00:34:49.000 Tincture.

00:34:51.000 The tincture.

00:34:53.000 The tincture.

00:34:57.000 I can tell that tomorrow's going to be one of those, you know, when you go down the stairs and you're like, oh, Jesus.

00:35:01.000 What hub?

00:35:01.000 Oh, my.

00:35:02.000 Hadayahana.

00:35:05.000 Sort of like getting punched in the ribs.

00:35:07.000 Yes, I was just about to say that.

00:35:08.000 When he knocked me in the ribs, it was really interesting getting out of bed for like two weeks.

00:35:12.000 I don't know why you suggested such a thing.

00:35:15.000 I was drunk.

00:35:17.000 Yeah, 20% off all orders at jacb.com if you use the promo code Gavin.

00:35:26.000 Oh, we have a paywall giveaway.

00:35:28.000 CallerOne $50 gift card?

00:35:29.000 No, that's Bubba and Hanks.

00:35:33.000 Right?

00:35:35.000 I thought it was Bubba and Hanks.

00:35:35.000 Sorry.

00:35:36.000 Yeah, that's Bubba and Hanks.

00:35:38.000 You want to cut off these fools?

00:35:41.000 So, goodbye, freebie guys.

00:35:43.000 If you want more of this content, and we've been making a lot more of it, you have to subscribe to censored.tv, $10 a month.

00:35:50.000 My show is the tip of the iceberg.

00:35:52.000 We're up to like two hours a day of content.

00:35:55.000 Jacob Wall is there.

00:35:56.000 Jim Goad is coming.

00:35:58.000 Laura Loomer is there.

00:35:59.000 We've got Copper Cab.

00:36:01.000 We've got Milo every Friday night.

00:36:03.000 You can see him tomorrow night rocking out Friday nights.

00:36:06.000 All right.

00:36:07.000 And we have, of course, Soph.

00:36:09.000 So, yes, I have been fired from every job I've ever had.

00:36:13.000 Yes, I've been censored.

00:36:15.000 Yes, I've been banned from Instagram and PayPal.

00:36:20.000 I noticed, by the way, a lot of these lefties, they'll say, if you're censored, how can I hear you right now?

00:36:26.000 If you're suffering from a violation of free speech, why do you have your own network?

00:36:31.000 Free speech does exist.

00:36:33.000 In other words, if you still have a tongue, then you can't complain about the First Amendment.

00:36:38.000 We have had to build this site from scratch twice after we got sued for the first name.

00:36:44.000 We have to have 50 levels of encryption on the payment system because that gets shut down.

00:36:49.000 Even our charity for a black baby, Liberty, justiceforliberty.com, has been hacked and has to have 50 layers of content.

00:36:58.000 I mean, sorry, protection on the payment system.

00:37:01.000 Yes, I'm still on YouTube after being kicked off twice and I was demonetized like a year ago.

00:37:08.000 I'm so banned that Ryan can't have his own personal Facebook because he works for me.

00:37:15.000 So it's possible that there are gradations of censored.

00:37:19.000 And yes, I can still speak English.

00:37:21.000 I still have a head.

00:37:23.000 But the idea that you can't talk about censorship if you still have a peep left is fascist.

00:37:31.000 Do you understand?

00:37:32.000 You assholes are tyrannical if you don't get it.

00:37:36.000 And if you do get it, you understand that it's about getting fired, getting in trouble, being brave, and never stop fighting.

00:37:45.000 Never stopping fighting?

00:38:07.000 All right, let's get back to Chris and see what he's got in his garage.

00:38:12.000 He's got...

00:38:14.000 We'll be right back.

00:38:21.000 So basically, like if you're a customer, you would just kind of walk right in, just put like double French doors in so I can keep some customers out, you know, make sure that they're not wandering all around.

00:38:31.000 I have like an old BMW 3 Series here.

00:38:34.000 This is a 320i.

00:38:36.000 This was the first 3-series BMW made in 1977.

00:38:40.000 So I'm doing a restoration on that.

00:38:42.000 And it was cool, you know, they were pretty and they looked good and they drove really good.

00:38:47.000 Great gas mileage.

00:38:48.000 You know, a lot of people think gas mileage is a new thing, but really we had pretty good gas mileage on cars.

00:38:55.000 This is an interesting car.

00:38:56.000 This is a 1969 TVR Vixen.

00:39:00.000 And this was made in Blackpool, England.

00:39:03.000 And it was a production car sold here in the States.

00:39:07.000 We purchased this in 1970 out of New Jersey.

00:39:10.000 So I still have it today.

00:39:12.000 Yeah, that one's really cool.

00:39:13.000 It's an all-fiberglass body, kind of like your Corvettes used to be.

00:39:17.000 Does that have power steering?

00:39:19.000 Oh, no, no, not at all.

00:39:21.000 Because I tend to glorify these cars, but I'm told that driving them, you smell gas, there's no AC, you need to be Hercules to turn a corner.

00:39:31.000 No, yeah, that's untrue.

00:39:32.000 Especially with these cars.

00:39:34.000 I mean, even though the motor is in the front on this, you would think there's more weight with the motor being on the axle where you're steering, but you really don't notice at all.

00:39:42.000 And I guess if you were to really be picky, you would only notice it maybe like parking it in a parking lot.

00:39:47.000 Like parallel parking or something.

00:39:49.000 Okay.

00:39:50.000 Maybe, but they're actually, the steering racks are designed pretty good that it doesn't matter.

00:39:55.000 I mean, this is even a three-series, I believe this is a 2004, but you could just see they're so much better looking than they are now.

00:40:03.000 They're classic looking.

00:40:05.000 Yeah, that's, I feel, like, when it started to go around 2004.

00:40:10.000 Yeah, yeah, you're 100% correct on that.

00:40:13.000 I don't know why, but like, even like these little teeny cars now, you probably wouldn't want to get hit in this.

00:40:18.000 This is a MG midget, if you remember these, these British cars.

00:40:23.000 Well, it's beautiful, though.

00:40:24.000 But that's pretty cool.

00:40:26.000 That's great in Britain with your little windy roads and you're going to the pub.

00:40:29.000 Here in America on the I-95, you're just like, babe!

00:40:34.000 Well, that's what separates the boys from the men.

00:40:36.000 If you can do it on the highway with a smile on your face, smoking a cigar, I mean, that's pretty badass.

00:40:41.000 It just shows that you don't care.

00:40:43.000 But those are those rules that you kind of want to fight back on.

00:40:46.000 You know, you want to be able to have the right to still drive what you want to drive and drive a historic car on highways and country roads and everything else because they're trying to take that away.

00:40:56.000 I mean, obviously, like the government wants you to have, you know, electric cars and good gas modders cars.

00:41:01.000 They don't want old cars on the road, hence when Obama came out with the cash for clunkers, which was a terrible idea because all it did was just completely junk up all of the junkyards and everything else and crush them when we could have actually restored them and kept them on the road.

00:41:16.000 Huh.

00:41:17.000 Okay, last question.

00:41:19.000 Is there any hope for the future of cars?

00:41:23.000 I mean, I heard about some CEO, maybe it was at Chevy, where his first day he walked into the design room and said, I want to see some right angles.

00:41:34.000 Well, any hope for cars?

00:41:36.000 I think so.

00:41:37.000 Aesthetically, I mean.

00:41:39.000 Aesthetically.

00:41:40.000 Well, I mean, that Land Rover Defender that you had me researching and building, I mean, that 110 Defender isn't a bad-looking truck.

00:41:49.000 No, that's true.

00:41:50.000 It's a little bubbly, but yeah, it's got kind of an outdoorsy, off-roading kind of a look.

00:41:55.000 And then the G-Wagon, no one can afford, but that's got nice right angles.

00:41:59.000 Yeah, the G-Wagon, they're really sticking to their guns on that.

00:42:02.000 They don't want to change the design.

00:42:04.000 It's very militant-looking.

00:42:06.000 It's the same style as it's been for so many years now.

00:42:10.000 And there's a cult following with that that it's hard to keep them in stock.

00:42:13.000 I mean, people are buying the new ones as soon as they come out.

00:42:15.000 Now, remember, during this whole Corona thing going on, the production has stopped on a lot of vehicles.

00:42:22.000 So when you try to buy one like your Defender or a G-Wagon, it's going to be really hard to get.

00:42:27.000 You're probably going to have to pay over sticker.

00:42:29.000 Fuck.

00:42:31.000 All right, Chris.

00:42:32.000 Thanks for the updates.

00:42:33.000 Let's have you back soon.

00:42:34.000 Yeah, man.

00:42:47.000 There's some things we should extrapolate upon.

00:42:47.000 Cool, dude.

00:42:51.000 Show them what a royal end field is.

00:42:54.000 That's one of those British bikes where you just go, this is perfection.

00:42:54.000 Oh.

00:43:01.000 You're done.

00:43:02.000 Sort of like, what's it called?

00:43:03.000 The gat motagozi thing? 0.91

00:43:06.000 What's that called again?

00:43:08.000 Motagoozi? 0.96

00:43:10.000 Something like that.

00:43:11.000 What a fucking beautiful bike.

00:43:15.000 So we should, we should.

00:43:17.000 Wait a minute.

00:43:19.000 We're all practicing quarantine, right?

00:43:21.000 If we stay six feet away from him, can we go down and shoot him rebuilding that thing?

00:43:25.000 That would be cool.

00:43:26.000 Right?

00:43:27.000 Hell yeah, man.

00:43:28.000 Or at least we've broken the rule by one.

00:43:30.000 Ooh, we spoke to one fucking dude.

00:43:33.000 Didn't I do that today when I bought that Maker's mark?

00:43:37.000 Which I can't touch for two hours because it's in a Maker's Mark safe.

00:43:40.000 It's there, though.

00:43:41.000 When I told my wife and kids that idea at dinner tonight, they go, my wife goes, well, if you have to do that, then you should be an AA.

00:43:50.000 And I go, no, I'm trying to invent a gray area.

00:43:54.000 It goes back to what I said about censorship.

00:43:56.000 It's not either, Gavin is only censored if he has no tongue.

00:44:01.000 If I can hear him making sounds, he's not censored.

00:44:04.000 No, there's degrees.

00:44:07.000 Like the 10 things I hate about the Jews. 1.00

00:44:09.000 Clearly, that was satire.

00:44:10.000 It's possible things are not as they seem.

00:44:13.000 This propaganda era that we're living in, where you say things like a used car salesman, is really frustrating me.

00:44:21.000 We're Antifa.

00:44:23.000 We're anti-fascist.

00:44:25.000 If you're against Antifa, you're pro-fascist.

00:44:28.000 It's jolt cola.

00:44:30.000 If you don't, Sugar twice the caffeine.

00:44:35.000 If you don't buy Jolt, you hate sugar and caffeine.

00:44:39.000 Oh, you're pro-life?

00:44:41.000 If you're pro-life, you're anti-choice.

00:44:41.000 I'm pro-choice.

00:44:45.000 Oh, you're pro-choice?

00:44:46.000 I'm pro-life.

00:44:48.000 If you are against me, you're against life.

00:44:52.000 All this fucking twisting of words.

00:44:55.000 It's so corny.

00:44:57.000 You're against socialism?

00:44:58.000 Okay, let me explain something to you, dumbass.

00:45:01.000 Socialism is roads.

00:45:02.000 Socialism is libraries.

00:45:04.000 I saw Sarah Silverman tweet this recently, and I remembered myself saying the same stupid shit when I was 17.

00:45:10.000 I'm not exaggerating.

00:45:11.000 I had a little Lenin pin on my punk jacket as I explained to people, look, shit for brains, the working man has to have security.

00:45:20.000 These guys put food on our table.

00:45:22.000 They pump the gas for us.

00:45:24.000 They make the country run, and they deserve a working wage.

00:45:28.000 You go, I'm in.

00:45:30.000 The way you said it, it sounds great.

00:45:34.000 But it's never as simple as how it sounds.

00:45:37.000 And there's also a thing called counterintuitive thinking, where more guns, less crime.

00:45:43.000 It doesn't compute.

00:45:44.000 You go, but crime has guns going pew, pew, pew.

00:45:48.000 You have more guns, there's going to be more pew, pew, pew.

00:45:52.000 No, dumbass.

00:45:54.000 Also, show the Land Rover Defender that he was talking about.

00:45:59.000 Land Rover Defender.

00:46:02.000 Oh, and one more thing in that interview that I didn't get to.

00:46:06.000 I should have mentioned it when I was there.

00:46:08.000 That's it?

00:46:10.000 That's the 2020?

00:46:12.000 Wait, that's beautiful.

00:46:14.000 Yeah.

00:46:16.000 Is that the car I've been looking for my whole life?

00:46:18.000 What year is that?

00:46:20.000 Because the one I saw looked more like a buggy.

00:46:25.000 Yeah, there we go.

00:46:26.000 Womp, womp, womp. 0.99

00:46:28.000 Those were the 2000s.

00:46:29.000 Look at that gross blue thing. 1.00

00:46:31.000 They're all like bugs.

00:46:33.000 Wait, is this real?

00:46:35.000 Oh, that's a special Lego.

00:46:37.000 That's a Lego one.

00:46:38.000 Really?

00:46:38.000 Wait, that's a real car, though?

00:46:40.000 Yeah.

00:46:40.000 What the heck?

00:46:42.000 I think so.

00:46:43.000 That's bananas.

00:46:44.000 Imagine driving this around.

00:46:46.000 By the way, I should have made this clear, and I just realized after we hung up.

00:46:49.000 When I was saying the gas consumption, I was saying my theory is, and we'll have him back on the show, that these people selling the cars say, you need to be aerodynamic because it saves gas, and that saves the environment.

00:47:03.000 Remember that turtle with the plastic straw up his nose?

00:47:06.000 That's abusing the environment.

00:47:09.000 So when your car has absolutely no right angles gobbling up all the gas, then it hurts the environment because you're consuming extra gas.

00:47:18.000 Now, my contention is take a Land Rover, the exact same Land Rover internally, right?

00:47:23.000 And have one that's super aerodynamic and has all bubble edges, and then take the same engine, the same everything, but have it go.

00:47:32.000 I will concede that the second one will use up more gas because of wind resistance.

00:47:37.000 But my question is, how much?

00:47:39.000 And I'm guessing it's about this much.

00:47:45.000 A swig.

00:47:47.000 That is my theory.

00:47:50.000 And then finally, another point I thought of after he hung up.

00:47:55.000 Blackpool, UK.

00:47:57.000 That's a holiday town.

00:48:00.000 You go there and go on the beach, the blue-collar beach.

00:48:03.000 It's a blue-collar beach.

00:48:05.000 It's like Jersey Shore.

00:48:07.000 And the thought that there used to be factories there of hardworking people.

00:48:13.000 Yeah, that was socialism.

00:48:15.000 No, asshole.

00:48:16.000 It wasn't the unions being strong.

00:48:20.000 It was ruined by your fucking open borders bullshit.

00:48:24.000 What is that?

00:48:25.000 Blackpool?

00:48:26.000 Yes.

00:48:27.000 Blackpool.

00:48:30.000 It's like quarantine.

00:48:31.000 It's so weird being on beaches in England.

00:48:34.000 Because you're in like this freezing cold town and there's a beach community.

00:48:39.000 And how often can you go to the beach in England?

00:48:42.000 Like four times a year?

00:48:45.000 Anyway, we haven't even started the show and it's over.

00:48:50.000 Like I have got to zero notes.

00:48:52.000 I didn't email you my notes by accident, but that's fine because we're about to take calls in 10 minutes.

00:48:58.000 But here's two things we didn't cover in the babe episode.

00:49:01.000 Remember I said, who is that chick? 1.00

00:49:03.000 Action movie, cartoonish, Madam M from Hobbs and Shaw.

00:49:10.000 And I tracked her down after that on my own.

00:49:13.000 You know how I found her?

00:49:15.000 I went through 2020 action movie blockbusters.

00:49:19.000 And sorry, I knew it wasn't 2020.

00:49:21.000 I went 2019.

00:49:22.000 I was ready to go 2018, 2017.

00:49:23.000 I thought I'll just go through them year by year.

00:49:25.000 There's not that many action movies a year.

00:49:28.000 That's a good one right above me.

00:49:28.000 And there she is.

00:49:30.000 Right above me.

00:49:31.000 She's doing an interview about it.

00:49:33.000 No, no.

00:49:34.000 That one where she's in the room.

00:49:37.000 So this is Evia Gonzalez.

00:49:41.000 She was going to be catwoman in a movie.

00:49:43.000 She wears like a, there was a great picture of her recently wearing a denim jumpsuit. 1.00

00:49:47.000 But in retrospect, when I tracked her down, I went, too pretty.

00:49:54.000 Not interesting.

00:49:56.000 Sorry.

00:49:58.000 There's no character there.

00:49:59.000 The one that we showed at the beginning of the day.

00:50:06.000 What did you look up?

00:50:07.000 Denim.

00:50:08.000 Why wouldn't you do denim jumpsuit?

00:50:13.000 It's a jumpsuit like you were wearing the other day.

00:50:15.000 It wasn't a jumpsuit.

00:50:16.000 It was a coordin.

00:50:17.000 A co-ord.

00:50:18.000 There we go.

00:50:20.000 I can't believe I have to tell you how to use a Google machine.

00:50:25.000 Yeah, so she's just like super hot. 1.00

00:50:28.000 That's boring.

00:50:30.000 You know what we should do?

00:50:31.000 Let's do the mailbag and then for a few minutes and then take calls.

00:50:35.000 Is that a crazy idea?

00:50:36.000 Hi.

00:50:37.000 And if everybody wants to go to the Discord, there's a call-in section.

00:50:40.000 Oh, yeah.

00:50:40.000 Sorry, I meant to say this.

00:50:41.000 The Discord, get on the Discord.

00:50:43.000 We're going to take calls tonight, both from the Discord, where they can unmute people and they can ask questions, and then also from Collins.

00:50:51.000 so we have two ryan shut up you don't have a dad let's turn our eyes to gavin's metal bag This is from a guy named, I don't know, Gian.

00:51:07.000 He said, I made this shitty meme for Ryan.

00:51:10.000 Hey, Gian, you sent this earlier, and I didn't get to it because it sucks.

00:51:16.000 You might notice that I don't always get to your letters.

00:51:18.000 Sometimes it's because they get buried with other letters.

00:51:21.000 Sometimes it's because you suck.

00:51:24.000 And Ryan sucks so bad he can't pull it up in time.

00:51:26.000 We're on the archive, right?

00:51:28.000 Yeah, that's all I do now.

00:51:31.000 Now you can have some crane with your limes.

00:51:34.000 Hey, Gab, that 10-minute video you put up this week where you're too drunk and struggling to do the show is the best work of your entire career.

00:51:40.000 I just wanted to ask you about why concerto shows have, for the most part, ignored Kanye West and his Christian album he put out.

00:51:46.000 There's a concert he did at the album Joel Steen's Church that is in my top three live performances.

00:51:52.000 I think everyone is scared.

00:51:53.000 No, I'm not.

00:51:54.000 I love Kanye.

00:51:54.000 Come on in, buddy.

00:51:55.000 Let's party.

00:51:56.000 But I think, for the most part, The right is freaked out by him, and the word it's a prank or something.

00:52:04.000 Like Ben Shapiro said, You live by the Kanye, you die by the Kanye.

00:52:08.000 And he has said some crazy shit over the years.

00:52:13.000 So it's sort of like me and Nick Fuentes and the Groipers. 0.56

00:52:17.000 Like I was keeping him at arm's length for all while I figured out what the hell was going on.

00:52:21.000 You were social distancing.

00:52:22.000 I was social distancing.

00:52:23.000 That's just my theory.

00:52:24.000 I know Christianity isn't your specialty, but why not Crowder, one of those more Christian conservative shows?

00:52:30.000 It would be great to hear some of it open on your show, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:52:34.000 Fuck you, have my heels on. 1.00

00:52:35.000 It's funny how he's saying, I know you're not Christian.

00:52:37.000 And then it's the end of that.

00:52:39.000 Let's hear some of that.

00:52:40.000 I never really listened to his gospel church music.

00:52:44.000 Is it good?

00:52:44.000 Pretty good.

00:52:45.000 You just looked at his phone on stage.

00:52:46.000 Isn't that the weirdest thing to see?

00:52:47.000 Look at it.

00:52:49.000 Isn't that weird?

00:52:50.000 I got a text.

00:52:53.000 What's the text going to say?

00:52:55.000 You're on stage.

00:52:56.000 Your mother's in dire need of medical attention.

00:53:00.000 No?

00:53:00.000 JK Great Concert?

00:53:02.000 Did you see the car he was?

00:53:03.000 He was dead, Ryan.

00:53:04.000 Oh, yes.

00:53:05.000 Did you see the car he was standing in front of?

00:53:08.000 That looks like a monster.

00:53:10.000 Turn it up.

00:53:12.000 We're behind the paywall, y'all.

00:53:14.000 We can do whatever we want.

00:53:20.000 Sounds terrible.

00:53:21.000 Sounds terrible.

00:53:29.000 We all know.

00:53:29.000 It's not fair to judge music by a 10-second clip, though.

00:53:32.000 I kind of like that.

00:53:33.000 Oh, by the way, my last note here in my pre-note notes is Terry Garr from O God.

00:53:41.000 I think I was a little too ethnically ambiguous, Hispanic, black hair.

00:53:47.000 Terry Garr is not just the most beautiful woman in the world in Oh God, but she is dressed like the most perfect creature on earth.

00:53:57.000 Is that John Denver?

00:53:59.000 Yep.

00:54:00.000 Are you familiar with O God?

00:54:01.000 No.

00:54:02.000 Well, it's one of the most famous movies of all time.

00:54:06.000 God, she looks good.

00:54:07.000 Look at her in that little night thing.

00:54:09.000 There was something so feminine about her.

00:54:11.000 Look at her in that one, the Star Trek.

00:54:13.000 Jesus.

00:54:14.000 She was able to do vulnerable without being like a Ditzy Broad. 0.99

00:54:20.000 So she had independence, but she was like the opposite of Karen. 0.76

00:54:23.000 You know how I say that women have been ruined by all this? 0.99

00:54:26.000 Like, what the fuck's going on?

00:54:27.000 Hey, watch your mouth.

00:54:28.000 You get over there.

00:54:29.000 Put that down.

00:54:30.000 Terry Garr was just the beginning of that shitty feminist movement. 1.00

00:54:34.000 No, go back.

00:54:34.000 We want to see more of her.

00:54:35.000 Oh, God.

00:54:36.000 The beginning of that shitty feminist movement where I know they think they empowered women. 1.00

00:54:41.000 They made women into cunts. 1.00

00:54:42.000 Terry Garr wasn't this.

00:54:44.000 She wasn't beaten with a stick when dinner wasn't ready.

00:54:47.000 She wasn't a victim.

00:54:49.000 She was empowered, but it wasn't Karen levels.

00:54:53.000 It wasn't annoying.

00:54:53.000 You know what I mean?

00:54:56.000 Oh, Karen. 0.98

00:54:57.000 Is this all under O God?

00:54:59.000 I don't want to see her at 72 years old.

00:55:02.000 Maybe put it in.

00:55:04.000 I think you spelled it wrong.

00:55:06.000 Yeah, I think it's T-E-R-I. 1.00

00:55:06.000 Her name? 1.00

00:55:12.000 Yeah.

00:55:13.000 Oh, cool.

00:55:13.000 My article.

00:55:15.000 Wait, what?

00:55:15.000 Go to Street Carnage, 10 old movies.

00:55:19.000 I'm a snap.

00:55:20.000 Snapper Doodle.

00:55:21.000 I've obviously been saying this for a long time.

00:55:23.000 This is my failed website.

00:55:27.000 Wait a minute.

00:55:29.000 Is it just that one picture?

00:55:32.000 That's me and Leslie Barfin.

00:55:34.000 So that's Breaking Aways.

00:55:37.000 Got good tips.

00:55:38.000 The Orphans and the Warriors have a good look.

00:55:41.000 Obviously, Animal House, every single outfit in the whole movie is awesome.

00:55:44.000 I made myself that sweatshirt.

00:55:47.000 Keep going.

00:55:49.000 What's that?

00:55:50.000 Fucking Mean Streets.

00:55:51.000 Now, it's funny.

00:55:52.000 I hate Robert De Niro now.

00:55:54.000 I used to dress like Mean Streets when I'd go to Paris, and everyone was scared of me because they still have this 80s New York in their heads.

00:56:02.000 So I'd have fingerless leather gloves on, and they're like, oh, can I help you?

00:56:06.000 We don't want any trouble, Mr. New York.

00:56:10.000 John Cassavetti's in Rosemary's Baby looks fantastic.

00:56:14.000 That's the number one, apparently.

00:56:16.000 There she is.

00:56:17.000 Look at her.

00:56:19.000 Look at that.

00:56:22.000 Look at that.

00:56:23.000 Perfect.

00:56:24.000 Perfect.

00:56:26.000 All right, that's enough.

00:56:26.000 Is that of order?

00:56:33.000 This is from a woman named Jennifer.

00:56:36.000 Yesterday when Gavin was mocking that newscaster chick, he sounded just like Caitlin Jenner.

00:56:41.000 I've attached the clip, but if it doesn't work, it's at 55 minutes.

00:56:45.000 All right, so this is you.

00:56:47.000 This is Jillian Turner.

00:56:50.000 Her personality annoys me because she's a Midwesterner, but she knows that sounds hokey.

00:56:57.000 And to avoid the Fargo thing, she has an affected Connecticut accent.

00:57:02.000 Where she tries to sound like a Kennedy, this sort of fancy chick from Connecticut. 0.97

00:57:12.000 You might be off from Washington.

00:57:14.000 That's a good point.

00:57:15.000 And it's possible, by the way, that Caitlin Jenner is affecting that, too.

00:57:20.000 That scene is like the most perfect woman, like a Kennedy. 0.99

00:57:24.000 Although Kennedys are Boston, but you know what I mean?

00:57:26.000 Like an erudite Northeasterner.

00:57:30.000 That's the perfect woman to be.

00:57:34.000 Hey, Gavin, I'm Ryan.

00:57:35.000 I was biting my tongue in absolute cringe when you both rated that Latino girl, last one, on yesterday's show a 7.4.

00:57:35.000 Love your show.

00:57:44.000 Like, what do you mean, last one?

00:57:46.000 What am I?

00:57:46.000 Super memory machine?

00:57:49.000 Does he mean the last show?

00:57:52.000 I don't remember the last chick we looked at on the hot chicks episode. 0.81

00:57:57.000 Last one.

00:57:58.000 If he means the one at the opening of Machete, that's not even open to debate.

00:58:02.000 Open to debate.

00:58:04.000 Ryan felt nothing sexually for her, but still rated her above average.

00:58:08.000 It didn't take time to look at her stupid fucking name because I wouldn't have been punching my head against the wall thinking how low IQ fucked I would actually consider wetting their small fat pig seems harsh. 1.00

00:58:18.000 Fuck you.

00:58:19.000 Anyway, this person's clearly drunk.

00:58:21.000 And don't send us a letter about a person, Claudia, without looking at them.

00:58:28.000 I mean, having the time to send the Name.

00:58:30.000 Show some respect, please.

00:58:32.000 Yeah, we don't want to.

00:58:34.000 Let me fuck you with my heels. 1.00

00:58:36.000 Oh, yeah.

00:58:37.000 Can you believe every time I hear that song now?

00:58:39.000 I think of that Groiper dude going, You're a fucking fag, Devin. 1.00

00:58:43.000 You really are.

00:58:44.000 So let's just play this through.

00:58:46.000 Not only do I want to take you two gentlemen back to my hotel and I guess have both of you lie nude on my bed, put my dink in your butts, but I also want to, I have high heels that I've packed in my suitcase for this visit to DC, and I want to put that on and put those on.

00:59:04.000 And at the same time, I think you might just go like, yeah, let's give it a whirl.

00:59:12.000 Like, what?

00:59:13.000 What are you showing me?

00:59:14.000 This is Kanye in front of that buck-ass car.

00:59:19.000 Thanks, Ryan.

00:59:24.000 All right, we're almost ready for calls.

00:59:25.000 Yep, 10 o'clock.

00:59:26.000 Hey, buds, with most flights granted from Europe and Asia and all around the world, what and who are in all those flights on these paths?

00:59:34.000 Fucking flights.

00:59:35.000 Fucking bullshit.

00:59:36.000 Like you more than a pair of sunglasses with heels on.

00:59:38.000 P.S. That Homo who called him patronizing yesterday about your cool tattoos and about pushing the limit stunk like a bitch ass. 1.00

00:59:44.000 Fuck the second I heard him talk.

00:59:46.000 Yeah, I didn't really get that joke.

00:59:48.000 Like, does he think that I think my tattoos are badass?

00:59:51.000 I'm 50 years old.

00:59:53.000 All my 50-year-old friends have lots of tattoos because that was sort of our scene then.

00:59:57.000 I don't think they're cool.

00:59:59.000 I mean, this says Greg and Tiny Toes.

01:00:01.000 It's my kids' hamsters who died.

01:00:06.000 This says, aren't thou bored from when Randy Macho Man Savage broke through a wall in that Slim Jim Zat?

01:00:14.000 I'm not really trying to fucking intimidate anyone.

01:00:18.000 I think it's an age gap thing.

01:00:20.000 All right, last one before we start taking calls.

01:00:22.000 Hey, Gav and Rybread, what's your take on the UK drill rap scene?

01:00:29.000 Which we're often consulted about UK music scenes.

01:00:35.000 Setting up the call center here.

01:00:37.000 All right, let's get to the UK drill.

01:00:41.000 Let's see what we think of this.

01:00:42.000 The critics have been asked.

01:00:44.000 The Siskel and Ebert of UK Hip Hop have been consulted.

01:00:48.000 What are you doing?

01:00:50.000 I'm staying.

01:00:55.000 Ed did it.

01:00:56.000 Big Ed from 90 Day Fiancé?

01:00:58.000 No.

01:01:00.000 What left may all over the streets?

01:01:04.000 They're just pouring drinks on the floor.

01:01:07.000 Summit.

01:01:09.000 Bear Grills.

01:01:12.000 I ain't into the talking thing.

01:01:13.000 Just coffee, a block with shank on waste.

01:01:15.000 Well, no, could we do shit bait?

01:01:16.000 I was 15 with a pending case.

01:01:18.000 We found out where the Ox were based.

01:01:20.000 Piss couldn't boil up, relocate.

01:01:22.000 Don't ask why I bat my mate. 0.91

01:01:23.000 My swing, my arm shouldn't cut my swing.

01:01:25.000 Anything don't rip all 125 right now.

01:01:27.000 I'm at Rose.

01:01:28.000 That's bro.

01:01:28.000 BMS Glad.

01:01:29.000 He got caught by surprise.

01:01:30.000 Yeah, I hate them nerds, so I run down fire.

01:01:32.000 Bad guys, my god, burn like fries.

01:01:33.000 Got wet feet turns black up by players.

01:01:36.000 Big thing in the right if I back this smoke, watch a man get sky.

01:01:38.000 See me in a real life with the race, KK. 1.00

01:01:40.000 I give a poem too late.

01:01:42.000 Or we got a big thing in the ride.

01:01:43.000 It's like stripped down garage, like trap garage.

01:01:46.000 Sold.

01:01:47.000 I'm in Chucks and Rose.

01:01:50.000 Subscribe.

01:01:51.000 Garage with a B in it.

01:01:53.000 I just smashed the subscribe.

01:01:54.000 Don't forget to squash the subscribe.

01:01:56.000 Wait, you changed it.

01:01:58.000 Why did you give him a list?

01:02:02.000 What's happening?

01:02:03.000 Are you having a stroke?

01:02:03.000 Should we go to?

01:02:04.000 Yes.

01:02:05.000 We got regular calls.

01:02:07.000 We got the Discord calls.

01:02:09.000 The guys in the Discord have been waiting for a long time.

01:02:11.000 All right, let's do the Discord.

01:02:12.000 They signed up early.

01:02:13.000 And by the way, if you're looking to sign up to the Discord, just go to the website.

01:02:18.000 You can see it in links at censor.tv.

01:02:19.000 It's one of the links.

01:02:21.000 You absolutely can, dude.

01:02:23.000 And it's not brutal.

01:02:24.000 You guys there?

01:02:25.000 It's brutal.

01:02:26.000 Every time you do a good imitation, I repeat it and shitty it up.

01:02:32.000 Who's there?

01:02:34.000 Hey, what's going on, guys?

01:02:35.000 What's up, dude?

01:02:36.000 All right.

01:02:36.000 So first up, we got a girl.

01:02:38.000 You're unmuted. 0.93

01:02:39.000 Yeah.

01:02:39.000 Okay, can you hear me?

01:02:41.000 Yeah.

01:02:41.000 Don't you have cooties?

01:02:42.000 Hey.

01:02:43.000 It sounds like Carol fucking basically.

01:02:44.000 I probably do.

01:02:46.000 Yeah, I probably do.

01:02:47.000 I want a quick question.

01:02:48.000 On Hot Chicks yesterday, Christina Hendrix, you gave her an eight. 1.00

01:02:52.000 Have you seen her feet?

01:02:54.000 Okay, interesting.

01:02:57.000 You bring up an interesting point.

01:02:58.000 Like, do gross feet ruin a rating?

01:03:02.000 Yes.

01:03:03.000 Huh.

01:03:05.000 Because Nikki Glazer, I was thinking about her.

01:03:08.000 She's like probably an eight also. 0.99

01:03:11.000 And her feet look like she lived in China in the 1600s.

01:03:16.000 Whoa.

01:03:17.000 Okay.

01:03:17.000 What the fuck is that?

01:03:20.000 That's a very difficult.

01:03:22.000 Whoa, those are pretty.

01:03:23.000 Those bunions are fucking difficult.

01:03:25.000 That's a rude.

01:03:25.000 That's not even a bunch.

01:03:26.000 That's just like a.

01:03:29.000 Okay.

01:03:29.000 Well, I hope you're happy.

01:03:30.000 Christina Hendrix just went down 0.5 points. 0.99

01:03:34.000 Thank you.

01:03:35.000 Oh, my me.

01:03:36.000 If she's watching this right now, she's going to hate your guts.

01:03:41.000 That's bone and shit.

01:03:42.000 Can't you just go and just wear a cast for an hour and a half?

01:03:47.000 Thanks for calling.

01:03:47.000 All right.

01:03:49.000 You know what's fucking weird?

01:03:51.000 Last night I couldn't sleep as per ush, and I thought of Nikki Glazer's feet, not in a sexual way, but I was just thinking of the physics of like, how long do you have to wear high-heel shoes before you get that bunion, that Bill Schultz bunion that points your feet like that?

01:04:08.000 And I started thinking of the physics of foot binding and like, how long do you have to do this before it makes that?

01:04:13.000 Like my dad's toes look like this because his shoes didn't fit when he was a kid.

01:04:16.000 But what are the exact numbers?

01:04:18.000 Holy shit, those Chinese footbinders must have known all that. 1.00

01:04:21.000 And like, look, I know it hurt very much right now, but I'm Japanese, even though I'm supposed to be Chinese.

01:04:28.000 And you're going to be okay soon.

01:04:30.000 All right.

01:04:31.000 Next Discord call.

01:04:33.000 All right.

01:04:33.000 Next up, we got Colonel Clank.

01:04:35.000 You are unmuted.

01:04:38.000 Hey, Gavin.

01:04:39.000 Glad to see you're back in the New York groove and have left the fact zone.

01:04:43.000 Initially, I wanted to talk about news.

01:04:45.000 Is this pre-written?

01:04:47.000 It sounds pretty.

01:04:47.000 Did you write a script?

01:04:50.000 I appreciate it, though.

01:04:51.000 Recently, news has confirmed, as we've all known, that COVID-19 probably started in a day.

01:05:01.000 No, sir.

01:05:02.000 Okay.

01:05:02.000 You're good.

01:05:04.000 Go ahead.

01:05:04.000 Well, thank you.

01:05:06.000 You can holler at me about employment later.

01:05:08.000 But anyway, oh, we have to give our first two callers stuff, you fucking ass.

01:05:13.000 Why do I have to remember everything?

01:05:18.000 How many calls is this?

01:05:19.000 This is the first one was, was that a female? 1.00

01:05:22.000 A girl?

01:05:23.000 Oh, my God.

01:05:24.000 The first one was still here.

01:05:27.000 They're still here, Gavin.

01:05:28.000 Okay, hold on a sec.

01:05:30.000 The first two callers get a $50 gift card from Bubba and Hanks.

01:05:34.000 Hey, Discord mediator, can you remember that?

01:05:37.000 Can you remember that?

01:05:38.000 We got it all written down.

01:05:39.000 Yep.

01:05:39.000 Okay, so I'll leave it up to you to get their addresses to Ryan.

01:05:43.000 How's that sound?

01:05:44.000 You got it.

01:05:45.000 Okay, that's easy enough.

01:05:47.000 All right, sorry.

01:05:47.000 I don't want to be a dick, but...

01:05:50.000 Should one get Scripty McGee?

01:05:52.000 Should one from the Discord get one and one from the caller?

01:05:55.000 Shut up. 0.95

01:05:55.000 Ryan, what the fuck is with you today? 0.95

01:05:59.000 Every time I say something, you're like, well, what about we do this?

01:06:03.000 Can you get me a bud?

01:06:04.000 What about a bud and then a grapefruit?

01:06:07.000 Like, stop coming up with new shit.

01:06:09.000 We're not consulting together.

01:06:11.000 You're my employee, okay?

01:06:13.000 Stop all fucking night. 0.68

01:06:15.000 Every time I come up with something, you're like, well, what about this?

01:06:18.000 What about we don't do that?

01:06:19.000 And fucking stop saying it.

01:06:21.000 For one of them, you're like, oh shit, that's a good idea.

01:06:23.000 Yeah, one in 50.

01:06:24.000 These statistics are not worth it.

01:06:26.000 Well, a lot of it would have fallen apart if we didn't do that.

01:06:31.000 By the way.

01:06:32.000 Yeah, they don't have white dreads.

01:06:34.000 Let's slow it down.

01:06:36.000 Let's fucking slow down.

01:06:37.000 I can't believe that's such a big one.

01:06:39.000 Because you kill the rhythm of the show by correcting me when I'm right.

01:06:45.000 Okay, caller, you're on the line.

01:06:47.000 Continue reading your script.

01:06:50.000 Yeah, long story short, we know the chicken pox probably started in a damn lab, but we can ask something entirely different.

01:06:58.000 How did you smoke cash back in the day out of a bottle using a cigarette?

01:07:02.000 Can you explain that for me?

01:07:04.000 Wait a minute.

01:07:05.000 You're abandoning your chickenpox script?

01:07:08.000 Well, we know it started in a lab, but finally news is going to report and confirm what we know have been true for the past month or so.

01:07:16.000 Thank you for calling.

01:07:17.000 You sound too nervous.

01:07:18.000 You're dumped.

01:07:21.000 Let's go to the call board and see who's there.

01:07:29.000 Mike Scottish advice.

01:07:32.000 Hey, man, how are you guys doing?

01:07:35.000 Good.

01:07:35.000 What's up?

01:07:38.000 Hey, so, you know, with the airline tickets being really cheap, me and my woman were thinking about buying some tickets and going out overseas.

01:07:49.000 And one of the places we want to go is Scotland.

01:07:52.000 And I was wondering if you could help me out, like, as far as places to go or maybe way to act around there.

01:08:02.000 You know?

01:08:04.000 You know, it's known as a violent country, but it's really just Glasgow that you got to watch your back.

01:08:09.000 And I would say if you're in Glasgow, just imagine you're in the south side of Chicago or Baltimore or Detroit or Harlem or East New York, and you're not going to get stabbed just walking down the street, probably.

01:08:23.000 But like when people look at you a certain way, you got to know that if you go, you all right?

01:08:28.000 Then it's going down.

01:08:29.000 Like think of yourself in prison in Glasgow.

01:08:31.000 You should probably see Glasgow.

01:08:33.000 But here's an example of hanging out in Glasgow.

01:08:36.000 So they have to keep all the patrons on a short leash at the bar.

01:08:40.000 And there was a guy who said fuck or something or shit.

01:08:44.000 And no one cares in most bars about that.

01:08:46.000 But this woman had said, hear you, keep it down.

01:08:51.000 Watch it, pal.

01:08:51.000 Watch the language.

01:08:53.000 And it's sort of the way you would keep pit bulls or coyotes or hyenas at bay.

01:08:57.000 You know, you got to be extra strict or they're going to kill you.

01:09:00.000 So he goes, oh, sorry, love.

01:09:01.000 Sorry, love.

01:09:02.000 And then he looks at me and he goes, sorry, me.

01:09:04.000 Sorry about that.

01:09:04.000 Sorry.

01:09:05.000 And I go, hey.

01:09:05.000 And I do a Scottish accent there, right?

01:09:07.000 Because I don't want to get fucking in a discussion about my accent, where I'm from.

01:09:11.000 So I go, no, no, worries, Paul.

01:09:12.000 Don't, don't apologize.

01:09:14.000 And he goes, that was insulting somehow.

01:09:17.000 He goes, I'm no fucking apologizing.

01:09:20.000 And then he was ready to throw down because I guess I looked at him the wrong way.

01:09:24.000 But so I would say, get on your, I would say rent a car.

01:09:28.000 I would say fly to Glasgow, rent a car, check out Glasgow, and then drive north and go along the northern coast.

01:09:37.000 I'd have to look at a map to really get into it, but the, what's it called?

01:09:44.000 Stornoway.

01:09:45.000 All that sort of Lord of the Rings shit is just fucking beautiful.

01:09:50.000 All these little coastal towns where they have authentic fish and chips and the cobblestone streets and the tiny pubs.

01:09:57.000 And it's not remotely violent.

01:09:59.000 That's all, there's Gaelic signs and stuff.

01:10:02.000 Like, that's all fucking stunning.

01:10:03.000 Yeah, Stornoway is shocking.

01:10:06.000 And by the way, while you're looking at that, you're in a little tiny village and then you go into the local pub and have a pint and everyone's super friendly and they want to know where you're from.

01:10:14.000 They don't get a lot of tourists up there, obviously.

01:10:16.000 And it's not that far from Glasgow.

01:10:19.000 I mean, four hours, you got to understand in Britain, four hours is a fuck ton of traveling.

01:10:25.000 Like we get to visit John and Max.

01:10:28.000 Those Proud Boys that go up there, they'll drive like seven hours up and seven hours back and it's nothing.

01:10:34.000 Seven hours up, seven hours back, you've gone from London to Glasgow and back again.

01:10:39.000 So that's what I would do.

01:10:40.000 Thanks for your call.

01:10:42.000 Lead Hills is also a really cool town, little mining town, but there's millions of them.

01:10:50.000 Matt.

01:10:55.000 Matt, you're running out of time.

01:10:56.000 Matt?

01:10:57.000 Yeah, hey.

01:10:58.000 I was just wondering, like, the most criticism I've seen of China from liberals in the last couple of years is mainly their upset that they cut out gay kisses from superhero movies.

01:11:08.000 Do you think now there's all this more attention on China?

01:11:12.000 Yeah, no, not from the left, but that doesn't matter.

01:11:16.000 But there's definitely going to be more attention from the right.

01:11:20.000 The only way you can get the left to wake up about China is to show how they eat dogs and when they eat dogs and how long they cook them for And how they raise them. 0.98

01:11:31.000 That's the only thing they seem to care about.

01:11:34.000 So, okay, dogs.

01:11:35.000 I kind of feel the same way about South Africa.

01:11:37.000 If you want to wake people up about South Africa, tell them the story like it's dogs and then change it to humans at the last second. 0.68

01:11:44.000 But these people, I was talking earlier about how communism is advertising.

01:11:49.000 These people are like the babysitters of marketing.

01:11:54.000 They'll do anything to thwart Trump.

01:11:56.000 And if Trump's anti-China, a place where they're locking blacks in cages so they starve to death because they don't want to go near them because they might have it. 0.99

01:12:07.000 A place where Muslims are, there's ethnicide. 1.00

01:12:11.000 They're murdering Muslims. 1.00

01:12:13.000 And I'm no fan of Muslims, but I'm not for them just being fucking murdered en masse like Jews in World War II. 1.00

01:12:22.000 And they're doing that in China.

01:12:24.000 But they don't care about that because their only criteria for morality is the enemy of my enemy is my friend.

01:12:33.000 That's it.

01:12:35.000 So no, they're not changing their mind about fucking China anytime soon. 0.93

01:12:41.000 All right, let me see.

01:12:42.000 Thanks for your call.

01:12:43.000 Cody?

01:12:46.000 Hey, what's up, guys?

01:12:47.000 Hey, man.

01:12:49.000 Hey, so just something super simple.

01:12:52.000 If you're going to make a purchase, like a large purchase, like buying a car, why wouldn't you buy an American car, dude?

01:12:58.000 Just start there at your baseline and then just figure out what American car you want to buy.

01:13:03.000 What would work out for you?

01:13:04.000 Doesn't that make sense?

01:13:05.000 It does.

01:13:05.000 But isn't that a whole gray area of like they're built here and sometimes cars like a Toyota will end up having more American employees than a Ford?

01:13:17.000 No, I don't care where they're built or who has the employees.

01:13:20.000 American companies.

01:13:22.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:13:23.000 Because all the shareholders for Ford, GM, like those are, that's all America, you know?

01:13:29.000 Yeah, that's a good point.

01:13:31.000 It's like in Grant Torino when he goes, would it kill you to buy American?

01:13:36.000 Yeah, exactly, dude.

01:13:37.000 Like, I'm a Ford guy.

01:13:39.000 Buy a Chevy.

01:13:39.000 I don't give a fuck.

01:13:40.000 But the only cars that I'm going to buy are Ford.

01:13:42.000 Or maybe a Tesla if electric cars sort of take over.

01:13:46.000 But like, right now, Ford.

01:13:48.000 That's it.

01:13:49.000 Because I know it's an American company.

01:13:51.000 I own shares in Ford.

01:13:52.000 So basically, whenever I buy a Ford vehicle, that money's, some of the money is going right back in my pocket, you know?

01:13:58.000 Sure.

01:13:58.000 All right.

01:13:58.000 Great point, Carler.

01:13:59.000 Thanks for calling.

01:14:01.000 I'm just kind of a fag when it comes to aesthetics. 0.63

01:14:04.000 And I seem to like the aesthetics of Land Rover more than anything else.

01:14:08.000 I also like, I'm embarrassed to admit, I like the sort of Jamaican culture where Jamaican drug dealers like Land Rovers. 1.00

01:14:16.000 I'm not proud of any of this.

01:14:18.000 But it's sort of like when you buy a dog, like you should get a rescue dog.

01:14:22.000 But I'd rather just get a purebred and not have to worry about it.

01:14:27.000 All right, we're back to the Discord.

01:14:30.000 All right, next up is E. Diggity. 0.97

01:14:32.000 You are unmuted.

01:14:34.000 All right.

01:14:35.000 Yo.

01:14:36.000 So, honestly, I was kind of thinking about it.

01:14:39.000 When you see the Groi Pers and they're asking all these questions, honestly, you could say, you know, maybe they have a little bit of an ulterior motive. 0.99

01:14:48.000 But you hear, like, you know, they're talking about USS Liberty and the dancing Israelis. 0.69

01:14:52.000 It feels almost inevitable that both sides of the political spectrum are going to eventually turn on Israel.

01:14:59.000 And, you know, $3.9 billion a year.

01:15:01.000 I guess it's a lot, but...

01:15:05.000 It's two days of government spending.

01:15:08.000 It's what we give Iraq. 1.00

01:15:13.000 Oh, I would rather pull out of Iraq completely, honestly. 0.98

01:15:16.000 Well, we are pulled out, but we sure give them a lot of fucking money.

01:15:19.000 Yeah, we give all of them a lot of money.

01:15:21.000 But I just want to, basically, I just want to, because you see the left, they've been embracing this anti-Israel, borderline anti-Semitic.

01:15:29.000 You know, you see them embrace it, and they have been for the past couple of years.

01:15:32.000 What do you think is going to happen with the right?

01:15:37.000 I think that the young right will always be, I think there's an anti-Semitic, anti-Israel trend in the right, but I think that's normal for young men. 0.99

01:15:49.000 I think that they should all go there.

01:15:50.000 I think they should all go to Israel because I think they're being duped into making it a big topic. 0.99

01:15:56.000 Israel is not draining our resources.

01:15:59.000 Israel is not something that the entire Western world is consumed with.

01:16:07.000 To keep talking about the fucking Holocaust all the time, like it's the most important news item of the day, is just tedious.

01:16:18.000 And I understand that it feels edgy because it's so taboo.

01:16:20.000 And it's the left's fault for making this the most taboo subject in the world.

01:16:25.000 But it's sort of like they made the Armenian genocide the most taboo thing in the world.

01:16:29.000 And now all these kids are attracted to it.

01:16:33.000 I think that, you know, I'm no neocon, but I think hating Israel and being edgy by saying, fuck the Jews, is a phase.

01:16:45.000 I understand the phase, but it's sort of, it's the same with like thinking gays are super disgusting.

01:16:50.000 It's a normal part of a young man's life, and you get over it. 0.93

01:16:56.000 Thanks for calling.

01:16:59.000 All right.

01:16:59.000 Next up, we got Papa Parker.

01:17:01.000 You're unmuted. 0.93

01:17:04.000 Hello?

01:17:05.000 Hello.

01:17:07.000 Hey, what's up?

01:17:08.000 Yo, dude.

01:17:11.000 So my question is, what's like the best place to get a first tattoo?

01:17:15.000 And also, how do I fuck with the coronavirus?

01:17:19.000 How do you fuck with it?

01:17:22.000 Like, as in, I'm not supposed to masturbate, so how am I supposed to get bitches? 1.00

01:17:28.000 Yeah, you can go without beating off for a while.

01:17:31.000 You don't need it.

01:17:32.000 And being good at it, if you will.

01:17:35.000 It's not poo or pee.

01:17:36.000 Yeah.

01:17:37.000 What do you think prisoners do?

01:17:41.000 I assume prisoners beat off.

01:17:43.000 When they get the chance.

01:17:45.000 You don't really often get the chance when you're in a cell with another dude or an open dorm where there's a hundred other dudes.

01:17:52.000 Can't you suffer for a little bit?

01:17:54.000 How old are you?

01:17:56.000 19.

01:17:57.000 Yeah, you got to suffer, dude.

01:17:59.000 Or you could, of course, just cheat and meet a girl in an alleyway somewhere that you've met online.

01:18:04.000 I saw this couple in a car, and thanks for your call, by the way.

01:18:09.000 Driving around the burbs the other day, and it was a young man and a young lady, and I went, oh, that's weird.

01:18:13.000 You don't often see that.

01:18:14.000 I guess they're brother and sister.

01:18:16.000 And then at the stoplight, the boy just turned around and started making out with the other chick.

01:18:21.000 And then I took my kids to the park on a bike ride, and I see these other two making out.

01:18:27.000 And I realized the suburbs of New York have a serious incest problem. 1.00

01:18:32.000 And this is not going to bode well if these people get married and start fucking. 1.00

01:18:37.000 They're going to make freaks. 0.99

01:18:39.000 Got Jackson with the pancake.

01:18:44.000 Yo, what up, guys?

01:18:45.000 This question is for the both of you.

01:18:48.000 So assuming you have a gun to your head, you have to pick one.

01:18:52.000 Would you rather get a blowjob by Barack Obama on National Television?

01:18:57.000 By the way, can I just interrupt you?

01:18:58.000 Trump a hand job.

01:19:00.000 Can I interrupt you?

01:19:01.000 Thank you for not doing sister, brother, dad shit.

01:19:05.000 That's so lean.

01:19:07.000 Yeah, I know the rules, man.

01:19:08.000 Okay, so I get a blowjob from Barack Obama, or I have to give Trump a handjob.

01:19:16.000 You've got to keep it between you two.

01:19:18.000 Nobody else finds out.

01:19:19.000 Oh, the first one's on television?

01:19:22.000 Yeah.

01:19:25.000 Oh, boy.

01:19:26.000 It's a tough one.

01:19:30.000 That's easy.

01:19:31.000 My answer is blown by Barack.

01:19:34.000 You just had gay sex. 1.00

01:19:35.000 I guess in both cases, you've had gay sex. 0.97

01:19:40.000 I don't want to know Trump in that way.

01:19:43.000 That almost is like a dad question.

01:19:45.000 He just hung up.

01:19:49.000 Blown by Obama.

01:19:50.000 I don't have like a dad relationship with Trump.

01:19:53.000 He might not even like me.

01:19:54.000 You know what I mean?

01:19:55.000 I wouldn't blow Obama.

01:19:56.000 Like, he didn't release the Proud Boys.

01:19:58.000 So he might be a complete dick.

01:20:00.000 I'm not one of these people that goes, this president doesn't even care about you.

01:20:04.000 I don't give a fuck what Trump feels about me.

01:20:07.000 It's sort of like what the Proud Boys, when Fred Perry disowned us and said, I don't want anything to do with them.

01:20:13.000 And they're like, what do you think?

01:20:15.000 The shirts you guys wear, the CEO of that company doesn't like you.

01:20:19.000 Okay, well, we like the shirts, but what do you want me to do?

01:20:22.000 Stop wearing them.

01:20:25.000 So I don't really care about that part.

01:20:28.000 But I would almost see, because it as, would you rather be blown by a dude on TV or jerk off a dude secretly?

01:20:38.000 I think I might jerk off Trump because I don't want my kids being harassed at school or stuff.

01:20:46.000 Like, your dad was the guy who got the blowjob on TV.

01:20:50.000 You know?

01:20:51.000 Yeah.

01:20:52.000 And it would go viral, like, all their friends would see it forever.

01:20:57.000 But I think that's, you know, that ranks you up as a elite person.

01:21:03.000 If you got blown by a former president, that's pretty elite.

01:21:06.000 Yeah, I'm actually choosing...

01:21:15.000 Now that's how guys talk to one another.

01:21:18.000 All right, next call.

01:21:20.000 All right, going back to the Discord.

01:21:24.000 Okay, you're on?

01:21:28.000 All right.

01:21:28.000 Next up, we got Obama gone.

01:21:30.000 You're unmuted. 0.93

01:21:32.000 Hey, I was just wondering if you ever intend on re-releasing 10 things I hate about the goddamn Jews, or if that's in rebel media limbo right now.

01:21:43.000 Thanks.

01:21:43.000 I want to fuck you with my heels on.

01:21:45.000 I'd love to get that out there.

01:21:48.000 That fucking video has caused me a lot of trouble.

01:21:51.000 And it's funny because I thought the joke was so obvious.

01:21:55.000 But, you know, I've had 50-year-old Jewish housewives bring it up. 1.00

01:22:01.000 Like, oh, really?

01:22:03.000 How about 10 things I hate about the Jews? 0.99

01:22:05.000 And it goes back to what I was saying about the sort of, is it possible that there's gradations of something?

01:22:10.000 Like, do the math.

01:22:12.000 I shouldn't say gradation because that implies I hate the Jews a little bit. 0.97

01:22:15.000 But is it possible satire exists?

01:22:17.000 Like, I'm in, then she showed me this quote.

01:22:19.000 I was on some chat, a local chat, and then she said, she showed me some quote where during an episode of TJ Mass, I talked about how Palestine is the only country relevant and Israel needs to be eradicated and blah, blah, blah.

01:22:32.000 And we don't need a two-state.

01:22:33.000 We need one state, a Palestinian state. 0.81

01:22:35.000 I'm in a kibbutz in Israel as I say this on a comedy show where we're drinking wine.

01:22:42.000 Is it conceivable that it's a fucking joke, you stupid bitch? 1.00

01:22:47.000 Like, where's the other mainstream guy who's on Fox News all the time who also has a video called 10 Things I Hate About the Jews?

01:22:54.000 Where's Greg Gutfeld's 10 Things I Hate About the Jews?

01:22:58.000 Like, do the math.

01:23:00.000 The odd that it's a joke are pretty high.

01:23:04.000 But I think Ezra just wants to be done with that whole thing and erase it because I guess the long and short of it is the joke bombed, which is ironic because I had just done a stand-up comedy thing in Tel Aviv that was out of this world.

01:23:20.000 It went fantastic.

01:23:21.000 And the jokes were raucous.

01:23:22.000 Like one of my jokes was, man, I'm here in Israel and blown away.

01:23:27.000 I mean, I was just at the Holocaust Museum.

01:23:30.000 And, you know, I have a different take on it, but it's still, wow.

01:23:34.000 I mean, it's devastating to think, you know, for someone to do that to 300,000 people is just, it's shocking.

01:23:43.000 And everyone laughed.

01:23:44.000 Out of probably 100 people, 100% of them laughed.

01:23:47.000 Now, when I was praising Trump, some people walked out.

01:23:51.000 So you can do Holocaust jokes in Tel Aviv, but Trump jokes are not as well received.

01:23:58.000 It is a disaster.

01:24:02.000 All right, next.

01:24:04.000 All right, next up, we got Lucasi.

01:24:06.000 You're on your Mike!

01:24:08.000 Hey, Gavin, big fan, dude.

01:24:10.000 Big fan.

01:24:11.000 Right on.

01:24:12.000 So in my high school, we had this thing called a zero tolerance policy on fighting.

01:24:17.000 So three guys could walk up for me from behind and just beat me to a pulp and I'll get suspended for 45 days.

01:24:23.000 What a great message to send young men.

01:24:26.000 That's a good message to send you while you're out in the world and you're walking down the street, and three guys come up to you and start shoving you and stuff.

01:24:34.000 You should just sort of say, Police, police.

01:24:39.000 This draws into my question because this policy was obviously made by a woman, right? 0.99

01:24:44.000 And I can tell that you're pissed today, so I'm you're gonna you know be able to go off on this.

01:24:49.000 Oh, fucking.

01:24:50.000 Did you notice that every time we started putting women in charge of everything, like schools and all this shit, everything just went to shit? 0.99

01:24:56.000 Like, everything just went sour.

01:24:59.000 Women ruin everything. 1.00

01:25:02.000 I saw the Ted Bundy Netflix movie, man, and these women were in the courtroom cheering on this guy who's a fucking murderer. 1.00

01:25:09.000 He hacksawed people's heads off, and they're cheering him.

01:25:12.000 Why are we putting these irrational beings in charge of everything?

01:25:16.000 It's so frustrating.

01:25:18.000 You know, it reminds me of that, and thanks for your call, by the way, that National Review dinner I had where they were talking about Muslims and what their agenda is.

01:25:26.000 And I said, who cares about a bunch of fucking, sorry, ISIS. 1.00

01:25:30.000 Who cares about a bunch of inbred savages think? 1.00

01:25:32.000 They don't have a plan.

01:25:34.000 But you go, but Gavin, that was all men. 0.98

01:25:36.000 No, but there was a female New York Times reporter there, and they were trying to appease her. 1.00

01:25:41.000 So not only do women ruin everything, and when I say women, I mean women yanked from their natural role as creating life and nurturing life and forced into some dumb CEO role, not because they deserve it. 1.00

01:25:53.000 Like no one has a problem with female meritocracy.

01:25:56.000 I don't have a problem with Margaret Thatcher. 0.83

01:25:59.000 I don't think women tend to be as funny as men, but I don't obviously don't have a problem with Tina Fay. 0.99

01:26:04.000 She's a genius writer. 0.92

01:26:06.000 She did an incredible job. 0.92

01:26:09.000 She did a great job on SNL, 30 Rock, the Unbreakable, what's her name? 0.99

01:26:14.000 Kimmy Schmidt.

01:26:14.000 I mean, those are incredibly well-crafted comedy shows.

01:26:18.000 No one's talking about meritocracy.

01:26:19.000 We're talking about the opposite.

01:26:20.000 We're talking about affirmative action.

01:26:22.000 And when you take a woman out of the home and you go, be the next Tina Faye, bitch, and you shove her into this room, she goes, you're all fired. 0.94

01:26:30.000 Fuck you.

01:26:32.000 That's not happening.

01:26:34.000 And this goes back to the subtext of the show with cars where women have decided they're going to buy cars and they make fucking really plain Jane pieces of shit that are non-confrontational. 0.95

01:26:45.000 Like a 70s muscle car is confrontational.

01:26:48.000 That's part of its beauty.

01:26:49.000 And they go, no, no, no.

01:26:51.000 The car has to be friends with everyone.

01:26:54.000 All right, you ruined it.

01:26:55.000 You know, I had a long lunch with Milo once and we were both trying to figure out something that women are better at than men, besides the obvious creating life and everything.

01:27:04.000 And we got real estate and what the fuck was the other one?

01:27:10.000 I think it might have just been real estate.

01:27:12.000 Interior decorating?

01:27:13.000 But what is real estate?

01:27:14.000 Real estate is when you go to visit someone's house and they go, hi, welcome to my house.

01:27:19.000 This is the living room.

01:27:20.000 You can get a drink there or I'll serve you a drink now.

01:27:23.000 The kids are upstairs.

01:27:24.000 You want to see the kids' rooms?

01:27:25.000 And they just show you their own nest that they made.

01:27:27.000 The bird made this nest.

01:27:30.000 That's frustrating as fucking hell.

01:27:32.000 That's true.

01:27:33.000 And every time you see a major problem with the dude, like, what happened to that whole thing?

01:27:37.000 Oh, I got fired.

01:27:38.000 I was too rude in an email.

01:27:40.000 What did you say, nigger? 1.00

01:27:41.000 No, no, no, obviously not.

01:27:43.000 No, I just said, like, guys, we got to get our shit together.

01:27:45.000 We just missed another contract.

01:27:47.000 Well, what's the matter with that?

01:27:48.000 Well, they complained to HR.

01:27:50.000 This one woman complained to HR and HR. 0.98

01:27:52.000 And I always say when I hear these stories, I go, was the person you're talking about perchance a woman?

01:27:57.000 And they're like, yeah, it was a woman at HR.

01:27:59.000 Yeah.

01:28:00.000 And anyway, they let me go because they were worried about getting sued by another woman.

01:28:05.000 It goes on and on and fucking on.

01:28:07.000 Anyway, thanks for your call.

01:28:10.000 All right.

01:28:10.000 Next up is Gucci.

01:28:12.000 You're unmuted. 0.93

01:28:13.000 Hey, Gav.

01:28:14.000 Hey, man.

01:28:16.000 So tonight I was having a conversation with a friend who's pretty left-leaning, and we were discussing the idea about how the left and the right view each other.

01:28:24.000 Because you have that sort of that quote whereabout where you say where the left think the right are evil where the right, sorry, where the right think the left thinking right are evil, where the right think they're left are just wrong.

01:28:36.000 Yeah, that's Charles Krauthammer's quote.

01:28:38.000 Great guy.

01:28:39.000 Yeah.

01:28:40.000 And I put this to him, and he is pretty left, and he was like, no, you're just, everybody thinks that way.

01:28:47.000 It's a confirmation bias thing.

01:28:50.000 Whereas I was thinking, well, not really, because if you think about like how if you see any policy that's suggested by the right, the left will immediately add some sort of like ism to it.

01:29:04.000 So like if there's an immigration thing, it'd be racist.

01:29:07.000 If there's any sort of economic thing, it'd be an attack on the poor.

01:29:10.000 But the other way around, we'll just attack the policy itself.

01:29:14.000 Of course.

01:29:14.000 I just wondered what you thought about it.

01:29:16.000 Yeah, that's a good point.

01:29:17.000 And you'll notice this is another analogy you can say.

01:29:20.000 And Proud Boys are probably not good to bring up in an argument, but I can't resist right now.

01:29:24.000 And when I say not good, I mean to your friend.

01:29:26.000 But every time Patriot Prayer, for example, and Proud Boys would have a rally for free speech in Portland, Antifa would show up and fight them and try to knock them unconscious as they left the police barricaded area.

01:29:41.000 Mark Breyer had a book called the Antifa Handbook.

01:29:45.000 Not one Patriot Prayer person or 3%er or Proud Boy went to any of those readings because they said, that's up to you.

01:29:53.000 That's none of my business.

01:29:54.000 So they come to our things.

01:29:56.000 We don't go to their things.

01:29:58.000 Why is that?

01:30:00.000 Because they're malicious and we want freedom.

01:30:03.000 We want you to be able to go have your stupid Antifa book party and talk your bullshit.

01:30:09.000 That's up to you.

01:30:10.000 That's the deal with free speech.

01:30:12.000 So I think you should just tell your friend why are there not more attacks on left-wing people when they have a rally?

01:30:20.000 Why are the attacks so one-sided?

01:30:24.000 Maybe it's because the left is malicious.

01:30:28.000 All right, we got calls back from the Colin studio.

01:30:30.000 This is an older man.

01:30:35.000 I am an older man.

01:30:38.000 An older man.

01:30:39.000 No one would call themselves an older man.

01:30:45.000 So I'm 30.

01:30:47.000 I'm ready to be a wife.

01:30:48.000 And I'm ready to have as many children as the Lord will give me.

01:30:52.000 The guy I'm dating agrees with me.

01:30:54.000 He's great.

01:30:55.000 He's a brilliant cardiologist.

01:30:57.000 But he's 43.

01:30:59.000 He has a baby mama, a four-year-old, and he's divorced from another woman.

01:31:05.000 I'm like from a wholesome Catholic Midwestern family, and he's Hindu from India.

01:31:13.000 And I'm worried that if I bring him home, like apparent hair is going to catch on fire.

01:31:18.000 Is it stupid?

01:31:19.000 What do you think?

01:31:20.000 How long have you guys been dating for?

01:31:24.000 A couple months.

01:31:26.000 Couple months?

01:31:28.000 Why don't you give it another six and get back to me?

01:31:30.000 I don't see this lasting.

01:31:32.000 And by the way, while you're giving it another few months, keep your options open.

01:31:38.000 Yeah, I need to date other guys.

01:31:39.000 I don't want to.

01:31:40.000 That's what I'm scared of.

01:31:41.000 Yeah.

01:31:42.000 Sorry, you're not allowed to call in to this show when you've been dating someone for two months to ask about marriage advice.

01:31:48.000 But thank you for calling.

01:31:51.000 Two months.

01:31:53.000 Should I marry this guy and have his babies?

01:31:55.000 I fucked him three times.

01:31:58.000 Matt?

01:32:01.000 How dare you?

01:32:02.000 How dare you?

01:32:03.000 Dinesh thinks he's a toad.

01:32:05.000 I am beyond outraged.

01:32:08.000 I am beyond angry.

01:32:10.000 In the 2020 of the Dinesh and Michael Shermer conversation, you'll see that he mentions toads yet again.

01:32:16.000 It's 15 minutes and 20 seconds.

01:32:18.000 It's unbelievable that this is my gift to you.

01:32:22.000 Thank you very much.

01:32:22.000 Do you mean, oh, it's Dinesh who says it again?

01:32:26.000 Yes.

01:32:27.000 He's talking about abortion.

01:32:28.000 He goes, you know, it's a human being.

01:32:31.000 It's not a doad.

01:32:34.000 Does he know it's our hit song?

01:32:37.000 I don't know why he's so obsessed with it.

01:32:39.000 It's like an Aesop fable fixation or something.

01:32:42.000 It's like this Asian dude who used to do research for Pat Buchanan.

01:32:46.000 I forget his name offhand, but he has a lisp and he says liquo instead of liquor.

01:32:52.000 And it's one of the few words he can't pronounce.

01:32:54.000 And I keep saying to him, dude, just call it booze.

01:32:58.000 Like, don't take your weakest word and put it in the front of your vocabulary.

01:33:03.000 Now, you know, this is one of the odious symbols.

01:33:06.000 I had to let you know.

01:33:07.000 Thanks, buddy.

01:33:08.000 Thanks for your call.

01:33:09.000 Yeah, instead of odysseymbos, I would say this is one of the most archaic visual representations, and we don't know what this means.

01:33:20.000 It goes way back before civilization.

01:33:23.000 It's one of our most long ago picture things.

01:33:30.000 If once you admit, I'm a little surprised that you do admit, that the unborn, the fetus, is, well, part of the night's life.

01:33:39.000 Part of the night's human life.

01:33:40.000 It's clearly not a toad, right?

01:33:43.000 It's developing human life, and I think you can see that it's also independent human life.

01:33:48.000 I don't know if I told you guys, but I made a shirt that says, if I was a toad with Dinesh's face on it, I'm kind of reluctant to show him in case he's offended.

01:33:59.000 What the fuck are you doing?

01:34:01.000 I'm really disappointed in you, Gavin.

01:34:04.000 We were very good friends, and you let me down with a disgusting mockery of my accent, which is really xenophobic and disappointing, man.

01:34:14.000 I feel like I'm a toad.

01:34:15.000 You're not my buddy anymore, my friend.

01:34:18.000 That's crazy.

01:34:18.000 Dinash thinks he's a toad.

01:34:22.000 Surely he's got to see that as complimentary, right?

01:34:26.000 Totally.

01:34:28.000 We got Mikey talking about Scott Osandron string.

01:34:31.000 Okay.

01:34:32.000 All right, so G-Doug, Rice Guy. 0.98

01:34:35.000 What's your name again?

01:34:36.000 Rice Patch?

01:34:38.000 Mikey.

01:34:39.000 Mikey! 0.65

01:34:42.000 Oh, Mikey.

01:34:44.000 I've seen some of your old videos from Weiss days.

01:34:47.000 And if you look at a lot of the comments, it's like 95% positive.

01:34:52.000 Oh, really?

01:34:53.000 That's good.

01:34:54.000 And yeah, so I noticed that there's a common factor between you and Trump.

01:34:59.000 Back in the day, everybody loved Trump, right?

01:35:02.000 Until he decided to become president.

01:35:04.000 You think that the Scottish ancestry makes you have a racial commitment to conflict?

01:35:10.000 Like you were talking about on Joe Rogan, how they drink booze just to have some sort of conflict?

01:35:16.000 Yeah, maybe.

01:35:16.000 Like if I had stuck advice and never said anything offensive, I could be a billionaire right now.

01:35:23.000 And I just, I can't even picture that world where I just sat there sort of blinking at work as people said horrible shit about things that I feel strongly about.

01:35:36.000 I don't think I would be a very happy man.

01:35:39.000 I hate this fucking shit.

01:35:41.000 So I think it, thanks for calling.

01:35:44.000 I think it is a Scottish trade.

01:35:45.000 I think you're right.

01:35:47.000 It's a curse in many ways.

01:35:50.000 Marty, and then we'll go back to the Discord.

01:35:56.000 Hello?

01:35:56.000 Marty?

01:35:56.000 Hey, man.

01:36:00.000 Glad to be here.

01:36:05.000 Wait, this isn't your show?

01:36:09.000 Yeah, yeah, that was what I muted just now so that I could talk to you guys.

01:36:12.000 Oh, okay.

01:36:13.000 I mean, you guys are what I muted just now so that I could talk to you guys.

01:36:15.000 So you are subscribed?

01:36:17.000 Oh, certainly.

01:36:18.000 Oh, great.

01:36:19.000 Okay.

01:36:21.000 Having a splendid time, too, with it.

01:36:24.000 Anywho, uh, Superband.

01:36:29.000 I'm loving the progress that I'm seeing.

01:36:31.000 It's it's really it does something great for my heart.

01:36:36.000 You guys, I saw you, you know.

01:36:38.000 I saw your pipes on that Warpigs thing.

01:36:42.000 It was just like Dolly Parton and what's his name?

01:36:45.000 Kenny Rogers.

01:36:47.000 You know, perfect synergy.

01:36:50.000 It was awesome.

01:36:51.000 What did he call it?

01:36:51.000 Super band?

01:36:54.000 Super band.

01:36:55.000 Remember?

01:36:57.000 Yeah, he called him about the super band.

01:36:58.000 Remember?

01:36:59.000 Oh, oh, oh, right, right.

01:37:00.000 Okay, I'm caught up then.

01:37:01.000 Sorry.

01:37:03.000 And Ryan, your guitar lessons are a lot of fun.

01:37:07.000 They are the funnest guitar lessons I've ever had.

01:37:10.000 But I haven't seen much improvement in my own, you know, skill set.

01:37:17.000 That's okay, lessons.

01:37:18.000 We saw interesting stuff that our other subscribers want to hear.

01:37:22.000 Indeed.

01:37:24.000 I know.

01:37:25.000 How is a stranger's guitaring coming along?

01:37:30.000 Well, I'm trying not to fixate on that too much.

01:37:34.000 Okay, why don't you fix it on your fucking question? 0.92

01:37:39.000 Question.

01:37:42.000 Good idea.

01:37:43.000 All right, thanks for calling.

01:37:45.000 It was nice to have you tune in.

01:37:48.000 Always fun.

01:37:52.000 Okay.

01:37:53.000 Guys, try not to call me totally obliterated.

01:37:57.000 You think he was drunk?

01:37:58.000 I know he was drunk.

01:38:01.000 Back to the Discord.

01:38:03.000 Who's next?

01:38:05.000 All right, next up we have Wolfgang.

01:38:08.000 You're unmuted. 0.93

01:38:09.000 Hey, Gavin, I've been watching a show called Too Old to Die Young, and there is this smoking hot senorita who's out of this world. 1.00

01:38:16.000 I wasn't happy with her image results, so I left a few screenshots attached to a letter from like five hours ago or something.

01:38:24.000 I sent it to help you get over not remembering that Hobson Shawl chick. 0.64

01:38:28.000 What's your first name?

01:38:29.000 Email name.

01:38:31.000 Chip.

01:38:32.000 Subject is Hot Girls episode.

01:38:34.000 And what did you email it to?

01:38:36.000 I got it.

01:38:36.000 Oh, he's got it.

01:38:37.000 Censored.

01:38:38.000 Alright, let's see what we got.

01:38:40.000 Alright.

01:38:41.000 Got these one at a time.

01:38:42.000 There's one.

01:38:43.000 Amazing.

01:38:44.000 Okay.

01:38:46.000 We're on real Mexican kick these days.

01:38:50.000 A little masculine for me.

01:38:52.000 Okay.

01:38:55.000 What do you give this woman, Collar? 1.00

01:39:00.000 I mean, I don't want to throw around tens, you know, too much.

01:39:04.000 I mean, she's got to be like a. 1.00

01:39:06.000 You just sent us a seven.

01:39:08.000 Thank you for your time.

01:39:09.000 She sucks. 0.99

01:39:10.000 All right.

01:39:12.000 Who sends sevens to their favorite show? 1.00

01:39:16.000 All right.

01:39:17.000 Next, we got Miss Dick Fart. 1.00

01:39:19.000 Miss Dick Fart? 1.00

01:39:21.000 Or Miss Dick? 1.00

01:39:22.000 Miss Dick Fart.

01:39:23.000 You're unmuted. 0.93

01:39:25.000 Hey, Gavin.

01:39:26.000 Hey, Ryan.

01:39:26.000 What's up?

01:39:28.000 So I had a couple quick things.

01:39:30.000 First, Ryan, I wanted to know if you could maybe showcase any new impressions maybe you've been working on.

01:39:37.000 All I've gotten so far is Carol Bestian's worst enemy, the Target King.

01:39:44.000 Okay, that's pretty good.

01:39:46.000 And then Gavin, your chick rating has been way off recently.

01:39:51.000 I'm wondering what's up with that.

01:39:53.000 Like, you used to be really precise.

01:39:54.000 You'd be like, oh, yeah, you know, she's a 5.6 or a 7.7. 0.92

01:39:58.000 But, you know, last episode, you were just kind of saying, oh, she's an 8.

01:40:02.000 You know, she's an 8.2. 1.00

01:40:04.000 What's going on with that?

01:40:05.000 Yeah, good point.

01:40:07.000 That might have been rating exhaustion.

01:40:09.000 I fucked up.

01:40:11.000 And I guess I got tired.

01:40:14.000 I mean, we did go through quite a few.

01:40:19.000 But I'll try to be better and try to get more specific.

01:40:22.000 What would you rate yourself as, Caller?

01:40:24.000 Just looks?

01:40:26.000 Just looks?

01:40:27.000 I'd probably rate myself as a 5.4.

01:40:31.000 I mean, look at him.

01:40:32.000 He's pimping.

01:40:33.000 How old are you?

01:40:35.000 I'm 26.

01:40:36.000 You know what's funny about equality, the myth of equality?

01:40:39.000 You'll be sitting around with a bunch of dudes at a bar and you'll be like, what are you?

01:40:42.000 And I'm a six.

01:40:43.000 You're not a six.

01:40:43.000 You're a fucking five and laughing.

01:40:46.000 And then there'll be a chick there who sort of walks up and, hey, Eddie.

01:40:50.000 And she goes, hey, what are you guys doing?

01:40:52.000 Oh, nothing.

01:40:53.000 No, no, what are you doing?

01:40:54.000 Oh, we're raiding each other.

01:40:55.000 Oh, okay.

01:40:56.000 What am I?

01:40:58.000 And you're like, 10?

01:41:02.000 You can't tell them the truth.

01:41:04.000 Right.

01:41:05.000 But I'm talking to you here.

01:41:06.000 All right, bye.

01:41:07.000 Yeah.

01:41:08.000 Thanks.

01:41:08.000 That was a weird one.

01:41:09.000 All right.

01:41:09.000 Next up, we got Bruce.

01:41:11.000 Trying to bond with the dude.

01:41:14.000 Hey doing, Gevin?

01:41:15.000 Good.

01:41:15.000 How are you?

01:41:16.000 Reference to the hot chick show, right?

01:41:19.000 Yeah.

01:41:20.000 The hotness factors seem to be largely determined by a woman's heels or makeup or other affectations. 1.00

01:41:26.000 At a certain point, aren't you admiring a doll?

01:41:28.000 We're basically admiring chemicals and plastic.

01:41:32.000 There has to be a curve in the scale for women that are like naturally attractive. 1.00

01:41:36.000 And I think it's pretty abysmal that our tastes have transformed to such plastic things.

01:41:41.000 Stop.

01:41:41.000 Mother Nature's hella pissed.

01:41:44.000 Yes, in a movie, of course, that's ridiculous because a stylist bought her all this shit and stuff. 1.00

01:41:48.000 But you're subliminally applying it to real life.

01:41:52.000 And if I see Rosie O'Donnell in fucking heel, Christian Louboutin heels, and I see Jessica Alba in platform flip-flop sports sandals, it tells me a lot about their personalities.

01:42:06.000 And I know that Jessica's boring and Rosie's kind of cool and knows that she's fat or whatever. 0.98

01:42:13.000 You convey messages with clothes.

01:42:15.000 Like this shirt.

01:42:16.000 You know, I'm a party dude.

01:42:18.000 So I might not be a male model, but you're like, this guy's probably, a woman goes, this guy's probably fun to hang out with.

01:42:26.000 He's probably a MAGA dude.

01:42:27.000 Like, this says a lot.

01:42:30.000 Also, stop buying your kids fucking FIFA.

01:42:33.000 What the hell are you doing?

01:42:35.000 Buy them fucking Madden like an American, not some commie soccer game. 0.97

01:42:40.000 That's a good point.

01:42:41.000 I'm totally open to that.

01:42:42.000 I'll probably try.

01:42:43.000 And I hope when I plug in that stupid game, then I could just play and I don't have to sit there designing a character's hair.

01:42:51.000 My six-year-old plays Madden and he's great, so I'm sure you can fucking do it.

01:42:55.000 Okay, good.

01:42:56.000 We're on it.

01:42:57.000 Donald Trump, don't trust China.

01:42:58.000 China is asking.

01:42:59.000 By the way, my older boy plays MIB baseball.

01:43:03.000 MIB.

01:43:03.000 Oh, that's when they play with aliens?

01:43:08.000 That's when Will Smith comes in with a Tommy Lou Jones.

01:43:13.000 No, he plays, what is it?

01:43:15.000 MLB.

01:43:16.000 MLB baseball.

01:43:17.000 Yeah.

01:43:19.000 I like when they play MLB baseball much more than when they play fucking Fortnite.

01:43:24.000 Oh, I'm jumping around building a house.

01:43:30.000 Go ahead.

01:43:30.000 Max caller?

01:43:32.000 Yeah, I'm running out of steam here.

01:43:33.000 Newt Wallace, you are next.

01:43:35.000 You're unmuted. 0.93

01:43:37.000 Oh, all right.

01:43:39.000 Yeah, no, Gavin, I was just asking, I used your phrase to my religion teacher in college.

01:43:47.000 I was like, why are Muslims wearing black polyester in the Middle East? 0.98

01:43:54.000 Why are they not wearing some nice white milk?

01:43:57.000 And I got a grade average below what I was deserved.

01:44:01.000 And I'm wondering if you're willing to apologize to me right now.

01:44:05.000 I pontificated on your points, and I just really got the ass whooping here.

01:44:10.000 You did get an A-plus in experience and learning a great lesson.

01:44:16.000 My teacher, his response was, Whoa, whoa, whoa.

01:44:20.000 You know, let me force you to go to a mosque. 1.00

01:44:22.000 It was a little uncalled for, but basically, what I learned is don't open your mouth at college.

01:44:28.000 Otherwise, you're going to get a grade below what you actually deserve.

01:44:32.000 Isn't it that, isn't that little observation, the Aaron thread that unravels the whole sweater, though?

01:44:37.000 Like, it's 110 degrees there.

01:44:39.000 There's a lot of fabrics.

01:44:41.000 Black polyester is the worst one there is for the heat.

01:44:44.000 And you chose that.

01:44:45.000 Even white polyester is better.

01:44:47.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:44:48.000 And he said, well, you know, they wear different colors.

01:44:51.000 I'm like, really, do they?

01:44:52.000 Because the Shia Muslims in Iran maybe get to wear green occasionally if they're lucky. 1.00

01:44:58.000 But really, they're often, you know, subjugated to some shithole country where they're living in like, you know, just black pope in the fucking Middle East. 1.00

01:45:08.000 And he just was so obtuse to the entire idea of, you know, maybe listening to a different viewpoint.

01:45:16.000 Basically, he forced me to go to, you know, another, a mosque.

01:45:21.000 Wait, I thought you were kidding about that.

01:45:22.000 He genuinely forced you to go to a mosque?

01:45:25.000 Yeah, no, I had to go to a mosque.

01:45:27.000 I'm Catholic here, Scottish, Irish, Catholic, you know, never fucking intended to go to a mosque.

01:45:32.000 And lo and behold, I'm the only fucking guy who's going to ask questions to the imam because I'm the only one who actually knows about Islam because I actually looked into it.

01:45:42.000 And, you know, I thought I would get a good grade.

01:45:46.000 I actually walked back into the school because I'm like, is this motherfucker going to give me a bad grade?

01:45:51.000 You turn it off.

01:45:53.000 It was just completely insane.

01:45:56.000 Would you be willing to email me more details about that?

01:45:58.000 Or is that going to get you?

01:46:00.000 I'm sorry, email you what?

01:46:02.000 More details about all this?

01:46:04.000 Oh, yeah.

01:46:05.000 Yeah.

01:46:05.000 I never actually emailed you guys before, but this was about two years ago, but I could send you my GEPA and all that stuff.

01:46:14.000 Yeah, I won't out you anything you don't want outed, but I'd love to make this story.

01:46:18.000 I'd like to pursue this story.

01:46:20.000 Yeah, it absolutely fits into the narrative of colleges don't want you to actually experience real life questions.

01:46:29.000 You know, I have to take a class called Race and Religion to Philadelphia.

01:46:32.000 I'm signing it for the Marine Corps.

01:46:33.000 I'm not fucking going through this shit.

01:46:35.000 I'm out of here, but I'll absolutely send you some stuff that can help you understand how fucked up colleges are and how they want to indoctrinate children into this fucking bullshit.

01:46:48.000 How disturbing is it too?

01:46:49.000 Like we had the Crusades, the Christians and Muslims haven't been getting along for a little while now. 1.00

01:46:55.000 And we have the Pope telling Muslims they can pray in the Vatican and you getting in trouble for questioning the most archaic part of an archaic religion. 0.83

01:47:05.000 I know it's truly sick.

01:47:07.000 I'm Catholic.

01:47:08.000 Like I said, the Pope, I question him.

01:47:11.000 You know, I'm Catholic.

01:47:12.000 I'm not going to say I don't like the Pope, but he definitely says some fucked up shit that I don't like.

01:47:17.000 And I really think that we can't let the Muslims win. 1.00

01:47:22.000 And they're just trying to flood the gates of Greece right now.

01:47:25.000 It's just all really interesting stuff.

01:47:28.000 I'm absolutely willing to send you my, you know, whatever it's called, report card or whatever it is, and definitely correspond with the situation.

01:47:37.000 All right.

01:47:38.000 It's something I use exactly what you said in class.

01:47:42.000 And the whole class got a laugh out of it, the guys mainly.

01:47:45.000 And it was very eye-opening because the reaction of the teacher was basically cuck level 1000.

01:47:52.000 It was just fucking sleep.

01:47:54.000 You've got a base.

01:47:55.000 All right.

01:47:55.000 Thanks for calling, buddy.

01:47:56.000 Let's keep in touch.

01:47:56.000 You know the mailbag address.

01:47:59.000 All right.

01:48:00.000 And then we got.

01:48:00.000 You know, I got that.

01:48:01.000 I stole that observation from my mommy.

01:48:04.000 She used to teach business to Somalian refugees, business, like basic skills so they could get a job at a bank or something or being a secretary. 0.54

01:48:12.000 And they would all fuck with her.

01:48:15.000 I guess I'm not that well versed in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, but there's the three-day war, the six-day war.

01:48:21.000 And during the anniversary of that, they'd have these, what do you call it?

01:48:26.000 When it's typing as symbols.

01:48:28.000 One of the newest symboss actually.

01:48:30.000 The Oda symbol.

01:48:31.000 There is.

01:48:32.000 Dingbats, Zingbats, whatever.

01:48:34.000 You know, the last font.

01:48:35.000 And it would be like a bomb and a Star of David and that kind of thing.

01:48:40.000 They'd just leave that on their computers as my mom would go around to turn them off.

01:48:44.000 And so she dealt with these women in Burkas all day for years. 0.94

01:48:48.000 And she goes, why is it fucking fucking fucking black polyester? 1.00

01:48:55.000 Of all the materials there are.

01:48:58.000 What about flowing white gauze blowing in the wind?

01:49:02.000 And they're not out in the wind.

01:49:03.000 They're stuck in their kitchen where if they want to go for a walk, they have to consult their, I forget the name.

01:49:08.000 It's like your husband's brother or something.

01:49:10.000 Some guy that's been designated to go.

01:49:14.000 Well, why do you want to go outside?

01:49:16.000 I have to get more hummus.

01:49:19.000 How much hummus do you have?

01:49:21.000 We only have one small dish.

01:49:23.000 Just like, you know, when you get chicken wings and they have the blue cheese dip?

01:49:27.000 Basically that much.

01:49:28.000 Like just like a little disc.

01:49:34.000 Okay.

01:49:35.000 But call me when you get back.

01:49:37.000 You got 30 minutes.

01:49:39.000 Bitch. 1.00

01:49:40.000 Here's a crazy theory.

01:49:42.000 Maybe these Arabs like the high suicide rate. 1.00

01:49:47.000 And they're hoping it just means they can churn through more wives. 0.99

01:49:53.000 Hey, my wife's getting kind of fucking ugly and she's all depressed because she's in a burqa in a black plastic bag all day. 1.00

01:50:00.000 She offs herself.

01:50:01.000 Maybe I can get another eight-year-old.

01:50:06.000 We got Oklahoma.

01:50:10.000 Yeah.

01:50:11.000 Hey, girl. 0.99

01:50:12.000 What's up, dude?

01:50:13.000 Hey, my wife's taking you. 1.00

01:50:15.000 Hey, my wife's taking to work from home. 1.00

01:50:18.000 Yeah, and this morning, I might have brushed up against her breast. 1.00

01:50:25.000 Is that technically a workplace sexual harassment, yes.

01:50:32.000 I'm glad you called, sir.

01:50:33.000 We've been getting a lot of calls about this.

01:50:35.000 So, what you do is you have to email in a confession to her company's HR and you describe what you did.

01:50:44.000 And not unlike a priest with the confession, they'll come back with the Hail Marys and the Hello Jesus, whatever you have to do.

01:50:50.000 You'll probably get a fine, and you might be fired from her company. 0.74

01:50:55.000 Damn.

01:50:58.000 Boy, she's got my kid.

01:51:01.000 Well, she should have smaller tits. 1.00

01:51:07.000 Thanks for calling.

01:51:09.000 Yeah, you really got to watch it, guys.

01:51:10.000 Now that your wife is working from home, your home is a workplace. 1.00

01:51:15.000 So don't fuck her. 1.00

01:51:19.000 Which I'm actually doing a great job at, by the way, during this quarantine.

01:51:23.000 I'm not exactly getting the shit late out of myself.

01:51:26.000 Tyler, you're on the focal line.

01:51:30.000 Oh, my name's John, but there's one guy I wanted you to check out musically.

01:51:36.000 His name is Tyler Childers.

01:51:38.000 A good song is White House Road or Feathered Indians. 0.99

01:51:42.000 It's like country bluegrass, but White House Road has a little funk feel to it with the bass.

01:51:48.000 I know you like that guy, Benjamin Todd.

01:51:51.000 Can I throw a suggestion in for the suggestion box?

01:51:54.000 Ask Dustin Shirley.

01:51:58.000 Sorry, but instead of doing a whole show about hot chicks, could you do a segment at the beginning of the live show of like a chick that you saw that week on some movie or whatever?

01:52:07.000 And then all the callers call in and give a rating.

01:52:10.000 And then you can either be like, you're a fucking retard or whatever. 0.99

01:52:12.000 And then that's like the rating at the end of the show.

01:52:15.000 Yeah, that's a good idea.

01:52:17.000 I usually rip up suggestions, but that's not a bad one.

01:52:21.000 All right.

01:52:22.000 By the way, I'm obliterated right now.

01:52:22.000 Thanks for joining me.

01:52:24.000 Oh, you should get obliterated more often because you come up with pretty good ideas.

01:52:29.000 We got Collins.

01:52:30.000 Dustin and Jennifer.

01:52:34.000 Dustin, you first.

01:52:37.000 Me first?

01:52:38.000 Yeah.

01:52:39.000 Me first.

01:52:40.000 Okay.

01:52:42.000 The other day I was at Walmart and because of this coronavirus thing, I'm basically walking around about 25% pissed off.

01:52:51.000 And I'm walking past these two probably 20-year-old Mexican kids.

01:52:57.000 And he's holding something in his hand.

01:53:00.000 And he says, it's made in America.

01:53:03.000 That's how you know it's a piece of shit.

01:53:06.000 And I, inside, I went up to about 99, but I had just bought some weed.

01:53:14.000 I had some weed in my pocket, and I was with my wife.

01:53:18.000 But I wanted to grab something off the shelf that was made in China and beat him over the head with it and as it broke apart, say, now that's a piece of shit. 1.00

01:53:27.000 But I was exercising my adrenaline control, and I'm just thinking to myself, what are these kids learning?

01:53:37.000 I mean, everybody knows that when you pick something up and it's heavy and it's quality, it's made in America.

01:53:42.000 Yeah.

01:53:43.000 Well, this seems to be this sort of subtext of the show tonight, is gray areas and degrees of reaction.

01:53:53.000 So there's one reaction is to ignore him and to feel like shit, and it bothers you that night when you're lying in bed and you go, why did I just let him shit on America?

01:54:02.000 Or you get yourself to salt him in where the only other option is to beat the shit out of him, and now you have pot on you, now you're facing a misdemeanor, you got to go to court, blah, blah, blah.

01:54:11.000 But there's other areas in between those.

01:54:14.000 And humor is a great place for that, where you go, hey, man, what'd you say?

01:54:19.000 You're not an American. 0.99

01:54:20.000 You don't like American stuff?

01:54:22.000 And you start nice, too.

01:54:23.000 So they maybe take the bait.

01:54:25.000 And they go, yeah, man, it just sucks.

01:54:27.000 Yeah, American stuff sucks.

01:54:28.000 Like, what kind of stuff?

01:54:30.000 How does it compare to, say, Chinese stuff or, say, Mexican-made stuff?

01:54:33.000 Like, what's the...

01:54:38.000 You need to chill out.

01:54:39.000 Like, no, I just want to get the story, boys.

01:54:41.000 I just want to get the fucking story.

01:54:43.000 What's that Mexican car?

01:54:45.000 What's that Mexican car or that great Mexican TV company?

01:54:49.000 Who were those Mexican astronauts who landed on the moon?

01:54:51.000 What were their names again?

01:54:54.000 Yeah, one more thing.

01:54:56.000 I was at a quick trip the other day.

01:54:57.000 I was taking a shit.

01:54:59.000 It was a full house.

01:55:00.000 And after I got done shit and I wiped my ass, I looked at the toilet paper and there was nothing on there.

01:55:06.000 First thing that just came out, I'm on the hop out loud was, spooky.

01:55:13.000 Thanks for joining.

01:55:14.000 Yeah, a lot of these things, you see why Stalin would use repetition as a brainwashing technique because it's worked on me.

01:55:23.000 Like, I cannot fucking say something without being good at it, if you will.

01:55:29.000 So it's sort of like when they were talking about you.

01:55:31.000 Being good at it.

01:55:37.000 And the other general said, I don't think that's a great idea.

01:55:40.000 We're going to get smallpox ourselves.

01:55:42.000 Just like with Wuhan, where they said, hey, let's develop a coronavirus.

01:55:47.000 And the other guy should have said, I feel like one of us might get it on ourselves and then go to that wet market next door and maybe start a global pandemic.

01:55:57.000 Maybe let's not mess with that.

01:56:00.000 So we're just as dumb as the Chinese. 1.00

01:56:02.000 And when I say we, I mean me and Ryan, we have brainwashed ourselves with these horrible fucking video drops.

01:56:12.000 Jennifer.

01:56:13.000 You talk about Teddy.

01:56:17.000 Hi.

01:56:22.000 And I love it when you talk about women ruining everything. 1.00

01:56:24.000 I swear I'm more of a chauvinist than you.

01:56:30.000 Hey, do you think that you guys could do like some top 10 less like you did several times on Rebel?

01:56:38.000 I really like those.

01:56:41.000 It would be endless content.

01:56:43.000 So maybe even like a top 10 Tuesday or maybe a page that has, I don't know, segments.

01:56:51.000 Like I want to show my husband stuff, but you know, like Ryan's imitations or something, but I can't, you know, I don't remember where it was.

01:56:59.000 Which, by the way, Gavin, you have one imitation that's better than Ryan's.

01:57:04.000 What's that?

01:57:05.000 Dinesh.

01:57:06.000 Dinesh.

01:57:08.000 My Dinesh is better than Ryan's?

01:57:10.000 He's got another one that's better, too.

01:57:12.000 Well, my Doctor Now is better than yours.

01:57:14.000 Yeah.

01:57:15.000 But you think my Dinesh is better than Ryan's?

01:57:18.000 I'll take it as a compliment, even though I'm not sure it's true.

01:57:22.000 I love it so much.

01:57:24.000 Whenever you guys play it, I get like, I'll, I don't know.

01:57:30.000 I just, I could listen to that 47 times a day.

01:57:35.000 All right.

01:57:35.000 That's a good idea.

01:57:36.000 I don't know if it's a booze talking.

01:57:38.000 Thanks for calling.

01:57:38.000 A lot of these scholars are having good ideas tonight.

01:57:40.000 Yeah.

01:57:41.000 This could be the makers.

01:57:44.000 But yeah, a top 10 list.

01:57:45.000 Like I was researching for a green screen segment on examples of women, female comedians, doing raunchy fucking jokes. 1.00

01:57:54.000 Like come is grosser than menstrual blood.

01:57:58.000 That was an actual one.

01:58:00.000 And every time I would see a female comedian, I'd look at her videos and it was all like, why cumming on your dits is grosser than when you get shit on your dick? 1.00

01:58:09.000 And I was like, Jesus Christ, they do porn comedy.

01:58:12.000 And I'm not a prude, but you look at Louis C.K. and he's talking about Down syndrome and all these other topics and ethics and age and guns and violence and mortality and this massive range of subjects.

01:58:29.000 And then you go to girls and it's like relationships, gross sex stuff, and I'm lonely, I'm fat, I'm a loser, I'm with my cats all night and I don't do anything and I want to kill myself.

01:58:43.000 Or Jen Kirkman's whole thing where she's like, I'm actually glad I'm divorced.

01:58:48.000 I like being single.

01:58:49.000 It's fun.

01:58:50.000 Oh my god, or Chelsea Handler does that too. 1.00

01:58:52.000 I like, you know what I do?

01:58:53.000 When I want to order something, I just order it.

01:58:55.000 I don't have to consult my husband.

01:58:57.000 Ah, okay.

01:58:59.000 I think you're thinking of the Middle East, you stupid bitch. 1.00

01:59:03.000 Doad.

01:59:04.000 Oh, we're done.

01:59:05.000 This is the last call.

01:59:08.000 You know, I added a floral pattern to the top of my toad.

01:59:13.000 We have somebody here with something about exciting news or something.

01:59:23.000 Hey, Gavin, my name's Ryan.

01:59:24.000 I just found out I'm about to become a father.

01:59:27.000 Awesome, buddy.

01:59:28.000 Congratulations.

01:59:30.000 Thank you, sir.

01:59:32.000 You convinced, I never wanted to be a father, but you convinced me that, you know, it's important to, you know, have kids.

01:59:38.000 Anyways, I'm going to love it.

01:59:41.000 I'm sorry?

01:59:42.000 You're going to love it.

01:59:43.000 The first seven weeks is pretty rough with the lack of sleep.

01:59:45.000 And then it's paradise till 13.

01:59:52.000 Okay, good to know.

01:59:54.000 So anyways, I just wanted to know how did you figure out the names for your children?

01:59:59.000 I always thought that the dad would get to name the boys and mom would get to name the girls, but it seems that my girl wants to be able to name all the kids.

02:00:08.000 I don't know.

02:00:08.000 We can't come for anything to agree with.

02:00:10.000 I just want to know what your experience is.

02:00:12.000 I'm going to hang up.

02:00:13.000 Thank you for congratulating.

02:00:14.000 Keep doing what you're doing, brother.

02:00:15.000 Right on, man.

02:00:17.000 That's a good question.

02:00:19.000 What happened?

02:00:20.000 That's a good question.

02:00:21.000 It's very democratic, and there tends to be a sense of meritocracy to it.

02:00:25.000 Like with my daughter, I always liked the name Sadie.

02:00:29.000 Probably because of that song by what's her name, who's dating the Jewish guy with the big nose, Joanna Newsome. 0.99

02:00:36.000 I always liked that song, and I liked that name.

02:00:38.000 And then I brought it up with my grandmother, and she almost shit her pants. 1.00

02:00:41.000 She was like, because I guess in Glasgow, that's an old biddy name, like an old lady name. 0.78

02:00:47.000 You got the spinners there.

02:00:48.000 Yeah.

02:00:49.000 Joanna Newsome.

02:00:51.000 Joanna Newsome.

02:00:52.000 Why would you, how do you end up with the spinners from Joanna Newsome?

02:00:57.000 What's called Sadie? 1.00

02:00:58.000 You have a Google handicap and your job is to Google stuff. 0.98

02:01:04.000 Ryan, you should be Googling stuff when you're not at work, like I do.

02:01:10.000 You know, Jimi Hendrix would play guitar when he wasn't on stage.

02:01:14.000 Yeah, that I could do.

02:01:19.000 Anyway, so my grandmother kind of ruled that out.

02:01:21.000 And we were all, my wife and I were open to that.

02:01:23.000 And I can't explain how exactly.

02:01:25.000 Like if my grandmother had said you can't marry an Indian or something, I'd just tell her to fuck off. 1.00

02:01:30.000 I don't care about that.

02:01:31.000 But there's sort of a subliminal democracy and it's hard to explain.

02:01:37.000 And then I like the name Max.

02:01:38.000 Or I wanted my eldest boy to be Gavin Jr.

02:01:41.000 And my wife said, absolutely not.

02:01:43.000 And I could tell by her tone that if I made this a Hilda Dion, it would be an area of contention for decades.

02:01:51.000 So you keep trying back and forth, back and forth.

02:01:54.000 And I swear to God, it magically comes to you.

02:01:56.000 It just appears in your head.

02:01:58.000 And both of you go, yeah, that's the winner.

02:02:01.000 It's not like even a reluctant, like, okay, it's Chadwick.

02:02:07.000 Like Chadwick just naturally evolves.

02:02:09.000 So I wouldn't put too much pressure on yourself.

02:02:11.000 It's sort of like relationships in general.

02:02:13.000 You can fight and fight and say, we need to be together.

02:02:16.000 And I'm not talking about married couples, but courting couples.

02:02:19.000 Like, I really want this chick. 0.91

02:02:20.000 And if it's not meant to be, you can't force it.

02:02:23.000 Conversely, if you two are not meant to be together, you can break up, be away for five years.

02:02:30.000 You're going to magically rejoin.

02:02:32.000 So a lot of shit is out of your control.

02:02:34.000 And that's something you need to learn as a parent, that you have to be there for them.

02:02:38.000 You have to support them.

02:02:39.000 You have to love them.

02:02:41.000 But their trajectory may be predetermined.

02:02:45.000 And so, on that note, you should not tuck your tail between your legs and avoid dying with your boots on.

02:02:57.000 You've got to go headlong into it, especially if you have kids and a family to feed.

02:03:03.000 Get fired.

02:03:04.000 Get in trouble.

02:03:06.000 Be brave.

02:03:07.000 And never stop fighting.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - April 17, 2020

GOML LIVE #43 - CAR SHOW

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Summary

Transcript