Trapped tries to take on Danny Diablo after he sides with him on iced tea and Twitter beef, and we talk about our first GOML live in Manhattan, and the crazy things we've been up to this week.
Transcript
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00:00:38.000Before we start the show, I just want to give a shout out to DMS, Danny Diablo.
00:00:45.000I just read on the way up the stairs that some dude from the Trapped, not the Ottawa punk band, but some other metal core band has just started beef with Danny Diablo of DMS.
00:01:04.000This is what's so funny about Twitter.
00:01:06.000You're just shitting on Ryan, shitting on Gavin, then you shit on Danny fucking Diablo, who I'm nervous right now saying that he's not someone to fuck with.
00:04:32.000I remember there was this guy, David, who spelled his name D-V-I-D, David without the A. And he just kept fucking with Danny, Lord Isaac, again and again and again.
00:04:43.000And I don't want to incriminate anyone legally, but it ended up real bad.
00:07:20.000Like when you dump your wife because you won the lottery, which is why all people fall out of love, and you get a trophy wife, you can't be seen in that blue fucking secretary car.
00:07:30.000You don't like a car that has like the front of a Valvo and the body of a Subaru?
00:07:36.000Like when I'm on the highway and I see a Porsche SUV, which should be an Oxymoron, you see a Porsche SUV and you go, well, this must be the coolest looking SUV ever.
00:07:44.000No, it looks like every other, looks like a minivan.
00:09:14.000But there's Counting Cars with this dude like Horny Mike who has horns on his bandana and they have these beards that come down to here with like a ponytail on it.
00:09:24.000We should do a whole, let's have Chris as a regular guest and do a whole show on what the fuck are you dressed as?
00:09:31.000And when you think of mechanics from coast to coast, top to bottom, how many of them have a balding mohawk?
00:15:05.000You know when you work out and then you have a shower, but you're still kind of buzzing after the shower and you're almost sweating after the shower?
00:18:16.000I was fantasizing about jumping off and lying on the ground most of the time.
00:18:20.000And even the, there's an arm workout section with my little, my, my wife's little girly weights where you're going like this and doing this stuff.
00:18:29.000And the thing, I did 45 minutes straight.
00:18:32.000The thing about boxing is you get little breaks and you can cheat.
00:18:36.000This, you cannot go below, I think, 50 miles an hour or whatever the, I don't know exactly what the, the number 50, it feels like 50 miles an hour.
00:18:45.000But, and you have to wear these horribly gay little shoes where I felt ugly.
00:18:58.000I'm going to, I'm going to stick with it because I want to be able to have enough gas in the tank, as we say in boxing, to be alert for four rounds.
00:22:13.000I think it's two profiles you have to set up.
00:22:16.000And then I finally get started and I'm in some ghetto like alleyway gymnasium where I guess I'm not good enough to go.
00:22:26.000I don't want to start a whole soccer player's fucking career.
00:22:30.000Why don't you just have me come out of the womb and I'll breastfeed for a little while and eventually I'll become interested in soccer because my cousins play it.
00:22:42.000Now I'm playing Grand Theft Auto in FIFA.
00:22:45.000Or you're playing video games in the video game'cause you're just slacking on your We're not far from a Grand Theft Auto where the guy would rather play soccer and he ends up playing like a shitty FIFA.
00:24:15.000Why don't we interview Chris, ask him why cars suck, then we'll do the last read, then we'll go behind the paywall, and then he'll take us through his shop and show us all this cool shit.
00:27:18.000I got like a vintage early 90s Honda VFR behind me there.
00:27:23.000So like, it's actually, we're doing a really cool deal with the, well, it used to be a British company, but remember the company Royal Enfield?
00:27:44.000Yeah, well, I haven't got the details yet.
00:27:46.000Basically, what it is, is it's supposed to be a build where it won't be like these TV shows where it's like ridiculous builds using crazy equipment that nobody can afford or do on their own.
00:27:58.000Like if you were to buy a new motorcycle, how can I put my own flair on it under a certain budget?
00:28:02.000So I'll be getting a budget and a brand new motorcycle, doing some bolt-ons, and I'll add some of my own like flair and a little bit of fab work, but I won't make it stupid to ride like a little chopper with little teeny bars.
00:30:11.000I mean, remember, the SUV kind of came from the whole military background with trucks where things were assembled so they can be disassembled.
00:32:11.000You know, if you buy an electric car and you add up the cost, you know, for the electricity and the cost to own it, how long does it take for your return on that investment versus just an old car that you're not, you know, basically you're recycling, right?
00:32:25.000You take an old car and you keep it on the road.
00:32:27.000You're actually more green than the person that bought a brand new car because it saved it from going to the junkyard and, you know, everything else.
00:32:34.000I mean, you're basically reducing your carbon footprint by restoring an old car and keeping it on the road.
00:32:40.000Okay, last question with these horrible, disgusting, shitty cars that are being stuffed down our throats where a Jag and a Porsche all look like Honda Civics, they all look like little cough drops.
00:32:51.000Is another reason for it so they crumple better?
00:32:54.000Because we were watching a video the other day of this car chase, and this guy goes sideways.
00:32:59.000The back of the entire car is cut off by a tree like it was aluminum foil, which I assume is safer than a Ford Galaxy from 1959 just going bang into it.
00:33:11.000Yeah, I don't think the way they look is for safety.
00:33:14.000I mean, I think they could still look cool and have all the safety devices.
00:33:17.000I mean, airbags, that was a great invention.
00:33:19.000And same thing with like seatbelts when Volvo started putting those in the production vehicles.
00:38:21.000So basically, like if you're a customer, you would just kind of walk right in, just put like double French doors in so I can keep some customers out, you know, make sure that they're not wandering all around.
00:39:21.000Because I tend to glorify these cars, but I'm told that driving them, you smell gas, there's no AC, you need to be Hercules to turn a corner.
00:39:34.000I mean, even though the motor is in the front on this, you would think there's more weight with the motor being on the axle where you're steering, but you really don't notice at all.
00:39:42.000And I guess if you were to really be picky, you would only notice it maybe like parking it in a parking lot.
00:40:43.000But those are those rules that you kind of want to fight back on.
00:40:46.000You know, you want to be able to have the right to still drive what you want to drive and drive a historic car on highways and country roads and everything else because they're trying to take that away.
00:40:56.000I mean, obviously, like the government wants you to have, you know, electric cars and good gas modders cars.
00:41:01.000They don't want old cars on the road, hence when Obama came out with the cash for clunkers, which was a terrible idea because all it did was just completely junk up all of the junkyards and everything else and crush them when we could have actually restored them and kept them on the road.
00:41:19.000Is there any hope for the future of cars?
00:41:23.000I mean, I heard about some CEO, maybe it was at Chevy, where his first day he walked into the design room and said, I want to see some right angles.
00:46:46.000By the way, I should have made this clear, and I just realized after we hung up.
00:46:49.000When I was saying the gas consumption, I was saying my theory is, and we'll have him back on the show, that these people selling the cars say, you need to be aerodynamic because it saves gas, and that saves the environment.
00:47:03.000Remember that turtle with the plastic straw up his nose?
00:50:43.000We're going to take calls tonight, both from the Discord, where they can unmute people and they can ask questions, and then also from Collins.
00:50:51.000so we have two ryan shut up you don't have a dad let's turn our eyes to gavin's metal bag This is from a guy named, I don't know, Gian.
00:51:07.000He said, I made this shitty meme for Ryan.
00:51:10.000Hey, Gian, you sent this earlier, and I didn't get to it because it sucks.
00:51:16.000You might notice that I don't always get to your letters.
00:51:18.000Sometimes it's because they get buried with other letters.
00:51:31.000Now you can have some crane with your limes.
00:51:34.000Hey, Gab, that 10-minute video you put up this week where you're too drunk and struggling to do the show is the best work of your entire career.
00:51:40.000I just wanted to ask you about why concerto shows have, for the most part, ignored Kanye West and his Christian album he put out.
00:51:46.000There's a concert he did at the album Joel Steen's Church that is in my top three live performances.
00:55:54.000I used to dress like Mean Streets when I'd go to Paris, and everyone was scared of me because they still have this 80s New York in their heads.
00:56:02.000So I'd have fingerless leather gloves on, and they're like, oh, can I help you?
00:56:06.000We don't want any trouble, Mr. New York.
00:56:10.000John Cassavetti's in Rosemary's Baby looks fantastic.
00:58:04.000Ryan felt nothing sexually for her, but still rated her above average.
00:58:08.000It didn't take time to look at her stupid fucking name because I wouldn't have been punching my head against the wall thinking how low IQ fucked I would actually consider wetting their small fat pig seems harsh.
00:58:46.000Not only do I want to take you two gentlemen back to my hotel and I guess have both of you lie nude on my bed, put my dink in your butts, but I also want to, I have high heels that I've packed in my suitcase for this visit to DC, and I want to put that on and put those on.
00:59:04.000And at the same time, I think you might just go like, yeah, let's give it a whirl.
01:03:51.000Last night I couldn't sleep as per ush, and I thought of Nikki Glazer's feet, not in a sexual way, but I was just thinking of the physics of like, how long do you have to wear high-heel shoes before you get that bunion, that Bill Schultz bunion that points your feet like that?
01:04:08.000And I started thinking of the physics of foot binding and like, how long do you have to do this before it makes that?
01:04:13.000Like my dad's toes look like this because his shoes didn't fit when he was a kid.
01:07:38.000Hey, so, you know, with the airline tickets being really cheap, me and my woman were thinking about buying some tickets and going out overseas.
01:07:49.000And one of the places we want to go is Scotland.
01:07:52.000And I was wondering if you could help me out, like, as far as places to go or maybe way to act around there.
01:08:04.000You know, it's known as a violent country, but it's really just Glasgow that you got to watch your back.
01:08:09.000And I would say if you're in Glasgow, just imagine you're in the south side of Chicago or Baltimore or Detroit or Harlem or East New York, and you're not going to get stabbed just walking down the street, probably.
01:08:23.000But like when people look at you a certain way, you got to know that if you go, you all right?
01:10:06.000And by the way, while you're looking at that, you're in a little tiny village and then you go into the local pub and have a pint and everyone's super friendly and they want to know where you're from.
01:10:14.000They don't get a lot of tourists up there, obviously.
01:10:58.000I was just wondering, like, the most criticism I've seen of China from liberals in the last couple of years is mainly their upset that they cut out gay kisses from superhero movies.
01:11:08.000Do you think now there's all this more attention on China?
01:11:12.000Yeah, no, not from the left, but that doesn't matter.
01:11:16.000But there's definitely going to be more attention from the right.
01:11:20.000The only way you can get the left to wake up about China is to show how they eat dogs and when they eat dogs and how long they cook them for And how they raise them.
01:11:31.000That's the only thing they seem to care about.
01:11:56.000And if Trump's anti-China, a place where they're locking blacks in cages so they starve to death because they don't want to go near them because they might have it.
01:12:07.000A place where Muslims are, there's ethnicide.
01:13:05.000But isn't that a whole gray area of like they're built here and sometimes cars like a Toyota will end up having more American employees than a Ford?
01:13:17.000No, I don't care where they're built or who has the employees.
01:14:36.000So, honestly, I was kind of thinking about it.
01:14:39.000When you see the Groi Pers and they're asking all these questions, honestly, you could say, you know, maybe they have a little bit of an ulterior motive.
01:14:48.000But you hear, like, you know, they're talking about USS Liberty and the dancing Israelis.
01:14:52.000It feels almost inevitable that both sides of the political spectrum are going to eventually turn on Israel.
01:15:13.000Oh, I would rather pull out of Iraq completely, honestly.
01:15:16.000Well, we are pulled out, but we sure give them a lot of fucking money.
01:15:19.000Yeah, we give all of them a lot of money.
01:15:21.000But I just want to, basically, I just want to, because you see the left, they've been embracing this anti-Israel, borderline anti-Semitic.
01:15:29.000You know, you see them embrace it, and they have been for the past couple of years.
01:15:32.000What do you think is going to happen with the right?
01:15:37.000I think that the young right will always be, I think there's an anti-Semitic, anti-Israel trend in the right, but I think that's normal for young men.
01:15:49.000I think that they should all go there.
01:15:50.000I think they should all go to Israel because I think they're being duped into making it a big topic.
01:21:32.000Hey, I was just wondering if you ever intend on re-releasing 10 things I hate about the goddamn Jews, or if that's in rebel media limbo right now.
01:22:17.000Like, I'm in, then she showed me this quote.
01:22:19.000I was on some chat, a local chat, and then she said, she showed me some quote where during an episode of TJ Mass, I talked about how Palestine is the only country relevant and Israel needs to be eradicated and blah, blah, blah.
01:23:00.000The odd that it's a joke are pretty high.
01:23:04.000But I think Ezra just wants to be done with that whole thing and erase it because I guess the long and short of it is the joke bombed, which is ironic because I had just done a stand-up comedy thing in Tel Aviv that was out of this world.
01:24:12.000So in my high school, we had this thing called a zero tolerance policy on fighting.
01:24:17.000So three guys could walk up for me from behind and just beat me to a pulp and I'll get suspended for 45 days.
01:24:23.000What a great message to send young men.
01:24:26.000That's a good message to send you while you're out in the world and you're walking down the street, and three guys come up to you and start shoving you and stuff.
01:24:34.000You should just sort of say, Police, police.
01:24:39.000This draws into my question because this policy was obviously made by a woman, right?
01:24:44.000And I can tell that you're pissed today, so I'm you're gonna you know be able to go off on this.
01:24:50.000Did you notice that every time we started putting women in charge of everything, like schools and all this shit, everything just went to shit?
01:25:18.000You know, it reminds me of that, and thanks for your call, by the way, that National Review dinner I had where they were talking about Muslims and what their agenda is.
01:25:26.000And I said, who cares about a bunch of fucking, sorry, ISIS.
01:25:30.000Who cares about a bunch of inbred savages think?
01:25:34.000But you go, but Gavin, that was all men.
01:25:36.000No, but there was a female New York Times reporter there, and they were trying to appease her.
01:25:41.000So not only do women ruin everything, and when I say women, I mean women yanked from their natural role as creating life and nurturing life and forced into some dumb CEO role, not because they deserve it.
01:25:53.000Like no one has a problem with female meritocracy.
01:25:56.000I don't have a problem with Margaret Thatcher.
01:25:59.000I don't think women tend to be as funny as men, but I don't obviously don't have a problem with Tina Fay.
01:26:20.000We're talking about affirmative action.
01:26:22.000And when you take a woman out of the home and you go, be the next Tina Faye, bitch, and you shove her into this room, she goes, you're all fired.
01:26:34.000And this goes back to the subtext of the show with cars where women have decided they're going to buy cars and they make fucking really plain Jane pieces of shit that are non-confrontational.
01:26:45.000Like a 70s muscle car is confrontational.
01:26:55.000You know, I had a long lunch with Milo once and we were both trying to figure out something that women are better at than men, besides the obvious creating life and everything.
01:27:04.000And we got real estate and what the fuck was the other one?
01:27:10.000I think it might have just been real estate.
01:28:16.000So tonight I was having a conversation with a friend who's pretty left-leaning, and we were discussing the idea about how the left and the right view each other.
01:28:24.000Because you have that sort of that quote whereabout where you say where the left think the right are evil where the right, sorry, where the right think the left thinking right are evil, where the right think they're left are just wrong.
01:28:36.000Yeah, that's Charles Krauthammer's quote.
01:28:50.000Whereas I was thinking, well, not really, because if you think about like how if you see any policy that's suggested by the right, the left will immediately add some sort of like ism to it.
01:29:04.000So like if there's an immigration thing, it'd be racist.
01:29:07.000If there's any sort of economic thing, it'd be an attack on the poor.
01:29:10.000But the other way around, we'll just attack the policy itself.
01:29:17.000And you'll notice this is another analogy you can say.
01:29:20.000And Proud Boys are probably not good to bring up in an argument, but I can't resist right now.
01:29:24.000And when I say not good, I mean to your friend.
01:29:26.000But every time Patriot Prayer, for example, and Proud Boys would have a rally for free speech in Portland, Antifa would show up and fight them and try to knock them unconscious as they left the police barricaded area.
01:29:41.000Mark Breyer had a book called the Antifa Handbook.
01:29:45.000Not one Patriot Prayer person or 3%er or Proud Boy went to any of those readings because they said, that's up to you.
01:33:43.000It's developing human life, and I think you can see that it's also independent human life.
01:33:48.000I don't know if I told you guys, but I made a shirt that says, if I was a toad with Dinesh's face on it, I'm kind of reluctant to show him in case he's offended.
01:35:16.000Like if I had stuck advice and never said anything offensive, I could be a billionaire right now.
01:35:23.000And I just, I can't even picture that world where I just sat there sort of blinking at work as people said horrible shit about things that I feel strongly about.
01:35:36.000I don't think I would be a very happy man.
01:41:44.000Yes, in a movie, of course, that's ridiculous because a stylist bought her all this shit and stuff.
01:41:48.000But you're subliminally applying it to real life.
01:41:52.000And if I see Rosie O'Donnell in fucking heel, Christian Louboutin heels, and I see Jessica Alba in platform flip-flop sports sandals, it tells me a lot about their personalities.
01:42:06.000And I know that Jessica's boring and Rosie's kind of cool and knows that she's fat or whatever.
01:44:52.000Because the Shia Muslims in Iran maybe get to wear green occasionally if they're lucky.
01:44:58.000But really, they're often, you know, subjugated to some shithole country where they're living in like, you know, just black pope in the fucking Middle East.
01:45:08.000And he just was so obtuse to the entire idea of, you know, maybe listening to a different viewpoint.
01:45:16.000Basically, he forced me to go to, you know, another, a mosque.
01:45:21.000Wait, I thought you were kidding about that.
01:45:22.000He genuinely forced you to go to a mosque?
01:45:27.000I'm Catholic here, Scottish, Irish, Catholic, you know, never fucking intended to go to a mosque.
01:45:32.000And lo and behold, I'm the only fucking guy who's going to ask questions to the imam because I'm the only one who actually knows about Islam because I actually looked into it.
01:45:42.000And, you know, I thought I would get a good grade.
01:45:46.000I actually walked back into the school because I'm like, is this motherfucker going to give me a bad grade?
01:46:33.000I'm not fucking going through this shit.
01:46:35.000I'm out of here, but I'll absolutely send you some stuff that can help you understand how fucked up colleges are and how they want to indoctrinate children into this fucking bullshit.
01:46:49.000Like we had the Crusades, the Christians and Muslims haven't been getting along for a little while now.
01:46:55.000And we have the Pope telling Muslims they can pray in the Vatican and you getting in trouble for questioning the most archaic part of an archaic religion.
01:47:12.000I'm not going to say I don't like the Pope, but he definitely says some fucked up shit that I don't like.
01:47:17.000And I really think that we can't let the Muslims win.
01:47:22.000And they're just trying to flood the gates of Greece right now.
01:47:25.000It's just all really interesting stuff.
01:47:28.000I'm absolutely willing to send you my, you know, whatever it's called, report card or whatever it is, and definitely correspond with the situation.
01:48:01.000I stole that observation from my mommy.
01:48:04.000She used to teach business to Somalian refugees, business, like basic skills so they could get a job at a bank or something or being a secretary.
01:51:58.000Sorry, but instead of doing a whole show about hot chicks, could you do a segment at the beginning of the live show of like a chick that you saw that week on some movie or whatever?
01:52:07.000And then all the callers call in and give a rating.
01:52:10.000And then you can either be like, you're a fucking retard or whatever.
01:52:12.000And then that's like the rating at the end of the show.
01:53:03.000That's how you know it's a piece of shit.
01:53:06.000And I, inside, I went up to about 99, but I had just bought some weed.
01:53:14.000I had some weed in my pocket, and I was with my wife.
01:53:18.000But I wanted to grab something off the shelf that was made in China and beat him over the head with it and as it broke apart, say, now that's a piece of shit.
01:53:27.000But I was exercising my adrenaline control, and I'm just thinking to myself, what are these kids learning?
01:53:37.000I mean, everybody knows that when you pick something up and it's heavy and it's quality, it's made in America.
01:53:43.000Well, this seems to be this sort of subtext of the show tonight, is gray areas and degrees of reaction.
01:53:53.000So there's one reaction is to ignore him and to feel like shit, and it bothers you that night when you're lying in bed and you go, why did I just let him shit on America?
01:54:02.000Or you get yourself to salt him in where the only other option is to beat the shit out of him, and now you have pot on you, now you're facing a misdemeanor, you got to go to court, blah, blah, blah.
01:54:11.000But there's other areas in between those.
01:54:14.000And humor is a great place for that, where you go, hey, man, what'd you say?
01:55:37.000And the other general said, I don't think that's a great idea.
01:55:40.000We're going to get smallpox ourselves.
01:55:42.000Just like with Wuhan, where they said, hey, let's develop a coronavirus.
01:55:47.000And the other guy should have said, I feel like one of us might get it on ourselves and then go to that wet market next door and maybe start a global pandemic.
01:56:43.000So maybe even like a top 10 Tuesday or maybe a page that has, I don't know, segments.
01:56:51.000Like I want to show my husband stuff, but you know, like Ryan's imitations or something, but I can't, you know, I don't remember where it was.
01:56:59.000Which, by the way, Gavin, you have one imitation that's better than Ryan's.
01:58:00.000And every time I would see a female comedian, I'd look at her videos and it was all like, why cumming on your dits is grosser than when you get shit on your dick?
01:58:09.000And I was like, Jesus Christ, they do porn comedy.
01:58:12.000And I'm not a prude, but you look at Louis C.K. and he's talking about Down syndrome and all these other topics and ethics and age and guns and violence and mortality and this massive range of subjects.
01:58:29.000And then you go to girls and it's like relationships, gross sex stuff, and I'm lonely, I'm fat, I'm a loser, I'm with my cats all night and I don't do anything and I want to kill myself.
01:58:43.000Or Jen Kirkman's whole thing where she's like, I'm actually glad I'm divorced.
01:59:54.000So anyways, I just wanted to know how did you figure out the names for your children?
01:59:59.000I always thought that the dad would get to name the boys and mom would get to name the girls, but it seems that my girl wants to be able to name all the kids.