Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #46 - BOURBON & SOCKS

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lot.

00:00:18.000 It's 7 minutes.

00:00:20.000 It's 7 minutes.

00:00:30.000 That's a song we play because we can't play normal songs.

00:00:34.000 Cause this is a this ends up on YouTube, but don't down.

00:00:42.000 Yeah, did I type out the fucking ads?

00:00:49.000 Chapelot, chapelot, tous save Yankee fra pachau. 0.89

00:00:55.000 Atension, chapelo, en sa pas, vapas, bois de l'o.

00:01:02.000 I forgot that song.

00:01:04.000 We wrote that tree planting one year.

00:01:05.000 We were up in Chapelot, Quebec.

00:01:08.000 And we wrote a song about Chapelot that went, Chapelot, Chapeleau.

00:01:13.000 You know it's going to be hot.

00:01:15.000 Chapelot, Chapelot.

00:01:17.000 We're not going there to drink water.

00:01:20.000 Because we would get a tree planting, we'd get one day off every 10 days, and we would fucking give her. 0.99

00:01:26.000 But the problem is you would be taking, you'd be being bitten by bugs.

00:01:33.000 So your blood was very thin.

00:01:35.000 Or was it thick?

00:01:37.000 Yeah, your blood was thick to coagulate more.

00:01:41.000 I can't remember which one it is, to be quite honest, but it makes you much more tolerant of alcohol.

00:01:46.000 See, we couldn't get wasted.

00:01:47.000 You'd have to chug a Mickey in the school bus on the way into town from the campsite and then just pound beers all night.

00:01:53.000 You'd be lucky to get a bus.

00:01:55.000 Lucky.

00:01:57.000 This is Bourbon and Sock Month.

00:01:59.000 All month.

00:02:00.000 We're getting some of that America bourbon.

00:02:04.000 May is Bourbon and Sock Month.

00:02:06.000 It's sponsored by Merica Bourbon and Heshy Socks.

00:02:09.000 We got the socks.

00:02:10.000 We're getting the bourbon.

00:02:11.000 Every Thursday of this month, we're giving a bottle of America Bourbon to callers one and two.

00:02:16.000 That happens, of course, behind the paywall.

00:02:19.000 And get a shot glass and stuff and bring the open one.

00:02:23.000 Come on, ga.

00:02:27.000 And we're also giving away two sets of Heshy Socks to callers one and two.

00:02:31.000 Call in Wynn.

00:02:32.000 I'm wearing Heshy Socks right now.

00:02:33.000 They are very supportive in these troubling times.

00:02:39.000 Support veteran and patriot-owned businesses.

00:02:42.000 AmericaBourbin.com, promo code Gavin.

00:02:44.000 HeshySocks.com, promo code Gavin.

00:02:47.000 Thank you, America Bourbon and Heshy Socks.

00:02:50.000 And you should, no, now take this one away.

00:02:53.000 I guess I can just put it down.

00:02:56.000 But I was thinking on the way over here, the second, like I saw my optometrist today, and I see him as he's sympathetic, let's just say, to my political beliefs when it comes to the old Magarunskis.

00:03:12.000 And I'm like, all right, well, that's my optometrist for the rest of my life.

00:03:15.000 You know what I mean?

00:03:17.000 So if you're going to buy bourbon, you should buy America. 0.90

00:03:21.000 If you're going to buy beer, you should buy Budweiser.

00:03:23.000 If you're going to buy socks, you should buy Heshy. 0.99

00:03:26.000 Because you know that these people are like-minded, so why support anyone else?

00:03:30.000 I know I drink makers too, but okay, if you want a slightly less sweet, more scotchy vibe, and you think Maker's Market smells like cotton candy sometimes, America is for you.

00:03:42.000 And I actually wrote a song about them, coming up the stairs to the studio.

00:03:48.000 Technically down the stairs.

00:03:50.000 Want to hear it?

00:03:51.000 Why don't you get your guitar?

00:03:54.000 I got a lot of errands for you today.

00:03:58.000 I went into my wife's jewelry.

00:04:00.000 I've been drinking all day.

00:04:01.000 I went into my wife's jewelry box cabinet area and I invaded her turquoise collection. 0.98

00:04:07.000 You have no idea how dead I would be if she saw this.

00:04:11.000 This shit is worth like tens of thousands of dollars.

00:04:14.000 This is made by Indians. 1.00

00:04:16.000 This is some sort of antique thing that should be in the American Indian Museum.

00:04:20.000 I would be murdered if she knew I had this.

00:04:23.000 This is like her diamond necklaces.

00:04:25.000 But I'm going to sneak it back and nobody will know.

00:04:29.000 It's all for a good, well thought out bit though, right?

00:04:32.000 Nope.

00:04:32.000 I just was in her bathroom, which I'm not allowed in.

00:04:36.000 And I was like, I'm going to fucking take some shit while I'm here.

00:04:38.000 You think she doesn't allow you in there because you will just...

00:04:42.000 It's not like I'm not allowed in.

00:04:44.000 I could take a dump there if I want, but the secret to a good marriage is to keep shit smells away from each other. 1.00

00:04:50.000 That's how you make a marriage last.

00:04:52.000 And also not to hear each other fart ever.

00:04:56.000 So what about bed, Gavin?

00:04:59.000 You make your fingers like a parrot beak.

00:05:02.000 You go right up to the anal lips. 1.00

00:05:05.000 You open them up and breathe out.

00:05:12.000 Even if she's asleep.

00:05:15.000 Oh yeah, I have COVID.

00:05:17.000 Just like Chris Cuomo.

00:05:19.000 By the way, I was thinking of Chris Cuomo the other day.

00:05:20.000 He said he had COVID, right?

00:05:22.000 Just say you have it.

00:05:24.000 And then he said, I've been cleared.

00:05:26.000 I'm totally free of COVID.

00:05:28.000 The CDC tested me.

00:05:30.000 Of course, he gets the top tests, right?

00:05:33.000 I think he really did go get tested.

00:05:36.000 He pretended he had it.

00:05:38.000 Did this sort of Christ coming out of the cave thing, even though we already saw him in the Hampshires. 0.63

00:05:43.000 And then he actually literally did get a test and say, do I have it anymore?

00:05:50.000 And they go, no, you don't have it.

00:05:52.000 I beat it then.

00:05:52.000 Oh, good.

00:05:53.000 And they go, I get, I don't know if you ever had it.

00:05:55.000 I never.

00:05:56.000 No, I had it.

00:05:57.000 Oh, I had it bad.

00:06:01.000 I got it bad.

00:06:03.000 And that ain't good.

00:06:07.000 I'm washing America down.

00:06:09.000 Oh, I have another theory, by the way.

00:06:10.000 We don't talk about COVID on this show, but occasionally we glance across it.

00:06:16.000 I have another theory.

00:06:17.000 Some fire FDMI dude who has to go examine everyone who dies and tell everyone else how they died, including guys on the force.

00:06:26.000 And he said, weirdest thing, it seems like people who are totally out of shape, fat Pigs, smokers, they die and old people, obviously.

00:06:33.000 But then super duper fit guys also seem to die almost as regularly.

00:06:38.000 It's the sort of middle-of-the-road schlubs like me that seem immune.

00:06:43.000 I was like, huh, that's funny.

00:06:45.000 It took me about six hours, and then I went, inject chlorine.

00:06:53.000 Take medical advice from me.

00:06:56.000 Maybe it's because middle-of-the-road guys like me drink, occasionally do drugs, smoke pot, smoke cigarettes.

00:07:05.000 We put shit into our bodies.

00:07:08.000 Drink coffee a lot in the morning.

00:07:10.000 We pollute ourselves.

00:07:11.000 John Joseph of the Cro-Mags doesn't do a bump or grab a piece of Adderall or chug a bottle of bourbon ever. 0.92

00:07:23.000 John Joseph Cro-Mag is more vulnerable than me.

00:07:28.000 That is my theory, and I'm drinking to it.

00:07:31.000 I'm drinking to it.

00:07:38.000 All right, here's a song I wrote about America Bourbon.

00:07:41.000 You ready?

00:07:44.000 How do we know our timing?

00:07:45.000 Two, three, and.

00:07:48.000 And I'm moving from the burbs this time.

00:07:51.000 Wait, we got to get in sync here.

00:07:55.000 And I'm moving from the burbs this time tomorrow.

00:07:58.000 So what's the beat?

00:07:59.000 From Perth to Vietnam. 0.97

00:08:03.000 Yeah.

00:08:05.000 Okay.

00:08:06.000 Three.

00:08:06.000 Four.

00:08:08.000 You got to start not coming.

00:08:09.000 Okay, right?

00:08:10.000 Two, three, four.

00:08:10.000 Okay.

00:08:13.000 Cause I'm moving from the burbs this time tomorrow.

00:08:18.000 I'll be leaving in the past this fucking town.

00:08:23.000 And I'm going back in time to see my brothers.

00:08:28.000 We'll be drinking all this whiskey safe and sound.

00:08:36.000 And that, the beauty of that is you can keep working it.

00:08:39.000 And you gotta ask yourself, Nindo, what you're doing when you're moving in the past. 0.99

00:08:46.000 All fading now.

00:08:50.000 You made me bring this here for that.

00:08:53.000 Yeah.

00:08:54.000 Unbelievable.

00:08:55.000 I'll stand by that.

00:08:57.000 Are we gonna keep doing it?

00:08:58.000 Isn't it cute how this piece of turquoise looks like a little tie thing, like on a scarf?

00:09:04.000 You don't think that's worth it?

00:09:04.000 What?

00:09:05.000 I wrote a song about one of our sponsors.

00:09:07.000 I think that's pretty fucking amazing.

00:09:09.000 And it's a good jam.

00:09:10.000 Good point.

00:09:11.000 In fact, I have to admit, in the back of my mind while I was singing that, I thought, they're probably going to want to do like a video of this and maybe ask me for the rights.

00:09:21.000 Maybe have a band recorded or something, or maybe I could record it.

00:09:25.000 This is a jam.

00:09:29.000 I was in the East Village today.

00:09:31.000 It's funny how we can't say where our office is in Manhattan because people want to kill us.

00:09:37.000 I can't have my kids on the show.

00:09:38.000 I can't have my wife on the show. 1.00

00:09:41.000 Because why?

00:09:42.000 Am I Jeffrey Dahmer?

00:09:44.000 O.J. Simpson chopped a woman's head off and he's on social media giving his football picks.

00:09:50.000 What did I do?

00:09:51.000 Agree with the president?

00:09:52.000 Sorry.

00:09:53.000 Won't happen again.

00:09:55.000 This should hang about here, I think.

00:09:58.000 Anyway, people seem to enjoy the last look at New York City we did a couple weeks ago.

00:10:07.000 Let's tune in.

00:10:08.000 It hasn't really changed.

00:10:09.000 It's still deserted, but I don't go to St. Mark's place much.

00:10:13.000 And St. Mark's was fuggin as empty.

00:10:18.000 It is the emptiest I've ever seen it.

00:10:21.000 Well, obviously, it's the emptiest I've ever seen it, but it looks emptier than Times Square.

00:10:25.000 I mean, there's still traffic.

00:10:26.000 There's still areas that look kind of busy, not very, but sort of.

00:10:31.000 But St. Mark's, I'm used to just sort of shoulder to shoulder.

00:10:33.000 It's like the Chinatown of hipsters. 0.99

00:10:36.000 And let's look at it now.

00:10:40.000 Yo, here we are in St. Mark's Place.

00:10:43.000 There's a lot of parking here.

00:10:46.000 Normally, this place would be packed.

00:10:49.000 St. Mark's is like a shopping mall usually.

00:10:52.000 But now we got people doing birthdays and stuff.

00:10:55.000 And this used to be a cool place to get poutin.

00:10:59.000 You know, like the Patreon thing.

00:11:02.000 What does that mean?

00:11:03.000 People doing birthdays and stuff.

00:11:05.000 You said it.

00:11:06.000 I know.

00:11:07.000 I don't understand it.

00:11:08.000 People doing birthdays, like celebrating their birthday there, perhaps.

00:11:13.000 Okay.

00:11:13.000 What the fuck, a block blew up.

00:11:19.000 Drea de Mateo lived there, remember from the Sopranos?

00:11:22.000 Every time we saw him on the street, we'd always yell, Tell Tony!

00:11:25.000 Meaning, like, you know, tell him that tell Tony that the feds got you.

00:11:31.000 You're going to get killed.

00:11:32.000 Shit about getting killed.

00:11:33.000 Yeah.

00:11:34.000 Around here, these fuckers will use illegal mushrooms to do important construction. 1.00

00:11:42.000 These fucking rigged up something.

00:11:47.000 And imagine the whole block was gone.

00:11:52.000 This whole area was toast.

00:11:56.000 There's the 5-0.

00:11:57.000 Tuesday, Friday.

00:11:58.000 Yeah, I'm good.

00:12:01.000 I was checking the signs, you see.

00:12:04.000 I don't understand the birthdays quote.

00:12:07.000 Do birthdays are like birthday celebrations.

00:12:10.000 I guess karaoke places.

00:12:12.000 But yeah, you remember that?

00:12:13.000 That was what, about three years ago?

00:12:15.000 Four years ago?

00:12:16.000 That part of where are we now?

00:12:19.000 Second Avenue and St. Mark's Down just was gone.

00:12:26.000 And what these fucking Russians do is they take bids, right? 1.00

00:12:31.000 They'll say, yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't need to charge this.

00:12:34.000 So expensive other places.

00:12:36.000 I can do this, no problem.

00:12:37.000 So they get the deposit.

00:12:40.000 They look it up on YouTube, ask a few people what to do.

00:12:43.000 Then they go buy the equipment with the deposit and then work on your house, which is okay if it's a wood floor.

00:12:49.000 But they do this for the gas.

00:12:52.000 And some fucking illegal, and you can make fun of them because they're white, some white illegals rigged up some bullshit gas thing On that part of the East Village and blew up like a major, major part. 0.74

00:13:06.000 Half of a city block was gone.

00:13:11.000 Anyway, I'm getting new glasses because I broke these.

00:13:15.000 You can't see this, but they have glue in the middle.

00:13:17.000 Gorilla glue.

00:13:18.000 And I'm on my third coating of gorilla glue.

00:13:20.000 And you know how much this costs?

00:13:22.000 I have a guy, so he gets me a deal.

00:13:25.000 But this, to get trifocal lens where it's like long distance, nothing, reading on the bottom, $650.

00:13:33.000 Ooh, I was going to guess $400.

00:13:35.000 Everything is so fucking expensive.

00:13:38.000 Even like my trainer from the gym, I go, hey, man, it's been a while.

00:13:41.000 Do you do house calls?

00:13:42.000 He goes, yep.

00:13:43.000 And I go, okay, well, maybe we should set something up because I'm getting back to the Grover bot.

00:13:48.000 And he goes, okay, I'll pop by.

00:13:50.000 Just fucking $125, whatever.

00:13:50.000 You're a friend.

00:13:52.000 I don't care.

00:13:54.000 I'm sorry.

00:13:56.000 $125?

00:13:58.000 For an hour.

00:13:58.000 Now, to stay in good shape, he should come by twice.

00:14:01.000 So that's $250.

00:14:04.000 That's $1,000 a month.

00:14:07.000 That's like an okay apartment for a young man if he has roommates.

00:14:12.000 A good apartment for a young man if he has roommates.

00:14:15.000 Now I got roommates?

00:14:17.000 And isn't that insane for the fucking glasses?

00:14:21.000 I just brought my bike into the shop.

00:14:22.000 I guarantee it's going to be 50 bucks.

00:14:25.000 Just to run.

00:14:25.000 All you have is a flat tire.

00:14:27.000 Yeah.

00:14:27.000 I guarantee it's going to be 50 bucks.

00:14:29.000 I don't think so.

00:14:30.000 I think it'll be 20.

00:14:31.000 I hope.

00:14:32.000 That would be fair.

00:14:33.000 When I was your age, we fixed our own bicycles, by the way.

00:14:37.000 I do need a tube.

00:14:38.000 I could fix a thing, but.

00:14:39.000 No, you just patch it.

00:14:42.000 And I'm moving from the burbs this time tomorrow.

00:14:47.000 I'll be leaving in the past, this fucking town.

00:14:52.000 I was looking at real estate today to move.

00:14:54.000 The burbs did not work out, folks.

00:14:57.000 I feel like the Addams family in the Burbs.

00:15:01.000 In fact, the Addams family cartoon appears to be a documentary about my life.

00:15:06.000 I can do country.

00:15:07.000 I can do city.

00:15:08.000 The burbs did not work out.

00:15:09.000 That was a fail.

00:15:14.000 Kids will have to learn to deal.

00:15:16.000 I'd show the trailer, but we'd get booted.

00:15:18.000 We can't show trailers.

00:15:19.000 We can't do anything.

00:15:20.000 This is YouTube.

00:15:23.000 My existence on YouTube is sort of like entertainment in an Orwellian era.

00:15:28.000 And I think this COVID pandemic has been a dry run for the secret police, for the fascist fucking socialist state.

00:15:40.000 And I think they like it.

00:15:41.000 I think they enjoy themselves.

00:15:42.000 And what disturbs me the most is how much we like it.

00:15:46.000 Not me, and probably not you, but them.

00:15:50.000 People are just like, yeah, I'll stay in my home.

00:15:52.000 I'll rat out my neighbors.

00:15:55.000 Like, fascism should be hard.

00:15:58.000 It should have some rebellion in it.

00:16:00.000 You should have to like, Pinochet had to take people and put them in helicopters and throw them off into the ocean.

00:16:08.000 It should be a struggle.

00:16:10.000 Mugabe, the head of the World Health Organization, Edi Amin, they had to struggle to oppress their people.

00:16:16.000 We're just like, no, no, I'm fine.

00:16:17.000 I'll oppress me.

00:16:18.000 I'll oppress me.

00:16:19.000 No.

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00:17:05.000 or as that's pronounced in Quebec, Gavain.

00:17:13.000 Should we show another New York or jump to a new news item?

00:17:16.000 I made a lot of documentaries today in the village.

00:17:21.000 Got this.

00:17:22.000 Let's show another one.

00:17:23.000 It's like...

00:17:27.000 That's not it.

00:17:28.000 It's Search and Destroy.

00:17:30.000 That's it.

00:17:41.000 You know what's a fun game?

00:17:43.000 The place next to Search and Destroy looks exactly like it.

00:17:46.000 Same picture and everything, same shape, same staircase.

00:17:50.000 Take a picture of the place next to it and send it to your old school New York friends and go, fucking Search and Destroy's gone.

00:17:57.000 End of an era.

00:17:59.000 And they will poop in their panties. 1.00

00:18:01.000 Just like my wife would if she knew I had her most expensive jewelry on. 1.00

00:18:06.000 Okay, now you can show the one you were showing before.

00:18:13.000 It's like weird Japanese dudes who were really into punk rock and collect stuff. 1.00

00:18:19.000 It's been here forever.

00:18:20.000 Well, Trash and Baudeville's gone.

00:18:23.000 So is Jimmy Webb.

00:18:24.000 Behind me, Trash and Baudeville used to be like a punk clothing store.

00:18:27.000 Sort of like Search and Destroy, I guess.

00:18:30.000 Jimmy Webb was a seminal mod of St. Mark's place, 62 years old.

00:18:35.000 He just died.

00:18:36.000 And with him, I think St. Mark's died, too.

00:18:40.000 Russ Roots is gone.

00:18:43.000 Gee, that guy from Boston seems really sad that St. Mark's change.

00:18:48.000 That's weird.

00:18:50.000 Why does he give a shit?

00:18:51.000 I thought Bostoners hated fucking New York.

00:18:54.000 He probably had Stockholm Syndrome, you know, when he's trashing New York because he hates But if you would walk down St. Mark's anytime in the past 30 years, you would see this weird guns and roses looking dude who was the manager of this old punk store called Trash and Vaudeville.

00:19:18.000 Yep.

00:19:19.000 And he was ageless.

00:19:21.000 He always looked exactly the same.

00:19:23.000 Everyone knew Jimmy Webb.

00:19:25.000 He was sort of like the ambassador of St. Mark's.

00:19:27.000 Jimmy Webb, and by the way, no one in the world is Capable of this analogy.

00:19:31.000 Jimmy Webb was to St. Mark's what Nusrat Fata Alikan was to Pakistan.

00:19:39.000 And from now on, when I say Pakistan, I pronounce it like Latina. 0.96

00:19:44.000 Remember that Vice thing where she was interviewing Enrique and she's like, so you are Chuban. 1.00

00:19:51.000 Do you think that other Latinos are just normally speaking?

00:19:56.000 Yeah.

00:19:57.000 Have you ever been to Nichegua or Cuatemar?

00:20:02.000 There's a guy, Joe Torres, I think his name is, on ABC, and he does the same thing too.

00:20:06.000 He's like, so we're looking into the Latino community.

00:20:09.000 You're like, you're right.

00:20:10.000 Ah, fuck off.

00:20:11.000 It's so shitty.

00:20:12.000 I don't even say Giuseppe.

00:20:14.000 I say Joe.

00:20:16.000 This is my friend Carlos.

00:20:18.000 Hi, Charles.

00:20:18.000 How are you?

00:20:19.000 If you have an English translation, I'm saying it.

00:20:22.000 Also in the news, our boy Jacob Wall was trending.

00:20:28.000 He allegedly paid someone to say they were raped by Dr. Fauci.

00:20:35.000 Now, a lot of our nerdiest subscribers are concerned.

00:20:39.000 They say, why do you have Jacob Wall on your network?

00:20:42.000 He's a fraud.

00:20:47.000 Take a step back, folks.

00:20:50.000 You don't know the big plan.

00:20:52.000 Things are not as simple as they seem.

00:20:55.000 Let it play out.

00:20:59.000 Just be happy that you're in the eye of the storm.

00:21:02.000 Don't try to understand the storm.

00:21:04.000 Not yet, at least.

00:21:05.000 Want to throw a motherfucker face?

00:21:10.000 I also want to make fun of Seinfeld for ripping off Maniscalco, but in front of the paywall, we can't discuss these things.

00:21:18.000 Hell no.

00:21:19.000 The secret police will get us.

00:21:20.000 I think we could get away with this, though.

00:21:22.000 This Are You Racist video.

00:21:24.000 I got to hand it to these guys.

00:21:26.000 Code?

00:21:26.000 What are they called?

00:21:28.000 Cut.

00:21:30.000 They do these super basic videos with just a white wall.

00:21:33.000 They probably rent.

00:21:34.000 They probably don't even own that studio.

00:21:35.000 They probably rent it and they pay a thousand bucks a day.

00:21:39.000 And then they probably pay these people $100 each.

00:21:42.000 And they get at least a million views.

00:21:46.000 I don't think I know, outside of like Justin Bieber and stuff, I don't think I know of another uploader on YouTube who, and YouTubers don't count.

00:21:54.000 That's not a real thing.

00:21:56.000 Who get a million as a baseline.

00:21:59.000 I remember Anderson Cooper did a YouTube Live segment and there was 500 people watching.

00:22:06.000 40,000 is pretty decent.

00:22:07.000 40,000, you're in the game.

00:22:11.000 537, 320, I would just stop unless it's like to show your in-laws your kids growing up or something.

00:22:18.000 You're not really doing it.

00:22:20.000 A million, you are part of the elite.

00:22:24.000 And it's such a simple idea.

00:22:25.000 They just sort of ask these stupid questions like, are you racist?

00:22:30.000 And listen to millennials pontificate.

00:22:34.000 I was like, how can you say that?

00:22:36.000 Yeah, I'm racist because I'm a white person.

00:22:37.000 I think all white people are racist.

00:22:40.000 I time coded it to this because they are so fucking programmed.

00:22:45.000 Doesn't that sound like a robot?

00:22:48.000 When Stalin ran Czechoslovakia, he would keep people up for three days if they were on trial, and then they would represent themselves and recommend the death penalty for themselves.

00:22:57.000 Or when we put Basla Nikuli Basla in prison for the Muhammad video, which Hillary alleged started Benghazi, he came out of prison and went, that video was terrible.

00:23:11.000 It started Benghazi. 0.65

00:23:12.000 Obama and Hillary are so busy.

00:23:14.000 Why did I waste their time?

00:23:16.000 I'm a fucking loser.

00:23:17.000 Thank you for making it just a year, state.

00:23:24.000 I'm starting to think there's something genetic about people's need to comply when fascism rears its ugly head.

00:23:30.000 Anyway, this woman, that first woman you saw, is a victim of fascism.

00:23:36.000 She has been fucking brainwashed.

00:23:39.000 Look at her.

00:23:41.000 That's a guy, dude.

00:23:42.000 I'm talking with the next one.

00:23:43.000 Oh, couldn't tell.

00:23:44.000 Look at her.

00:23:45.000 Look at her.

00:23:47.000 I don't mean her, the purple hair, that's loaf-hanging fruit, but I mean, look at her demeanor, her cadence, her tone.

00:23:53.000 Like, she's positive she's a piece of shit.

00:23:56.000 I'm racist because I'm a white person.

00:23:59.000 Dude, that's a video drop.

00:24:02.000 Take notes.

00:24:02.000 Okay.

00:24:03.000 Notes.

00:24:04.000 Literally take notes.

00:24:07.000 Literally is overused.

00:24:09.000 That was a good example.

00:24:14.000 It's like my teachers have got me to bark like a dog when they offer a treat, and the treat is white guilt.

00:24:21.000 I think all white people are racist.

00:24:23.000 We have just been put into this system designed to empower our white privilege as a white person.

00:24:29.000 I am super racist.

00:24:31.000 I know a lot of people like shape.

00:24:33.000 Okay, me too.

00:24:34.000 Yeah.

00:24:34.000 So then it'd be funny if you bond with him.

00:24:36.000 You're like, hey man, I hate Negroes and I think Jews control the fucking Fed. 1.00

00:24:41.000 And I'm sorry to do a Southern accent, but it just, it explains the joke a lot easier.

00:24:45.000 It detaches your voice.

00:24:46.000 Yeah, it's sort of like, I always thought it'd be funny if one of these white Rastas was at a party and some Jamaican was new to Brooklyn. 1.00

00:24:53.000 He just got off the plane and he's kind of uncomfortable.

00:24:56.000 Oh, there's so many batty boys, blood clad. 1.00

00:24:59.000 Everyone got Babylon clothes and in, you know, all the fancy white man. 0.98

00:25:04.000 And then he sees a Rasta at a party.

00:25:07.000 He's like, yo, Rasta, what the fuck?

00:25:10.000 What go on?

00:25:11.000 Can you believe there's woman here menstruating? 1.00

00:25:17.000 Can you believe there's batty boys? 1.00

00:25:19.000 I'm not going to do the Jamaican accent.

00:25:20.000 Can you believe there's homosexuals at this party?

00:25:23.000 Don't you just want a fucking pow pow in the batty boy head? 1.00

00:25:27.000 Me no want the batty boy to have to die. 1.00

00:25:30.000 Meanwhile, the guy is gay. 0.94

00:25:32.000 I'm actually a gay Rastafarian.

00:25:34.000 No, you can't be.

00:25:38.000 The top things with Rastafarians are I love jaw, I love pot, I hate gays, and menstruation is gross. 1.00

00:25:47.000 Well, you smoke the weed, clearly.

00:25:50.000 Hi, I'm a white man, and I'm naturally racist.

00:25:54.000 That's just like inevitable.

00:25:55.000 Oh, cool.

00:25:56.000 It's so hard to find racists here in Hipster Williamsburg.

00:25:59.000 Do you guys want to go to fag bashing or go burn a cross? 0.99

00:26:05.000 I'm actually burning a cross just right now existing.

00:26:09.000 Okay, so this is interesting.

00:26:10.000 This Asian chick, this is a thing now, and it's kind of complicated. 0.84

00:26:15.000 But Asians have noticed that they're a race, right? 0.99

00:26:20.000 Yeah, that's a good way to put it.

00:26:24.000 Yeah.

00:26:25.000 So they know, they see like this currency in complaining about racism.

00:26:29.000 So they're like, fucking white people, me too.

00:26:33.000 And black people, woke, truly woke black people are like, um, yeah, no. 1.00

00:26:41.000 Now, this is where I split with a lot of my friends.

00:26:44.000 I don't think racism is a thing.

00:26:46.000 I don't think black, even black people can complain in 2020.

00:26:50.000 That's a controversial belief.

00:26:51.000 I'll accept that.

00:26:52.000 And a lot of people I respect that are smarter than me, like Ann Coulter, says I'm full of shit and says, no, no, no, no.

00:26:59.000 No one else can complain because they're new.

00:27:02.000 Like Indians, Mexicans, Asians, they can't jump on the black bandwagon. 1.00

00:27:06.000 But the black bandwagon has a point. 1.00

00:27:09.000 Slavery, Jim Crow, blah, blah, blah.

00:27:11.000 I disagree with her, but let's take her side of it because it's more mainstream than my view.

00:27:18.000 Blacks have a point. 1.00

00:27:19.000 No one else does.

00:27:20.000 Asians make more money than whites. 0.97

00:27:24.000 Asians are more educated than whites.

00:27:26.000 Asians stay out of jail less than whites. 0.99

00:27:29.000 On every single possible metric you can measure, they do better than whites. 1.00

00:27:33.000 So you're not allowed to jump into the fray and put your arm around a black person and say, we're so sick of this shit, you guys. 0.84

00:27:43.000 Fuck, man.

00:27:43.000 You had us drinking out of different fountains.

00:27:46.000 You had us dressed up Sambo and all that shit.

00:27:48.000 We're done.

00:27:50.000 Anyway, I'm going to get back in my fucking Audi 5000 and head back to my $2.2 million house.

00:27:58.000 Meanwhile, the black guy's like, what does any of that shit mean? 1.00

00:28:02.000 What is an Audi?

00:28:05.000 My belly button?

00:28:06.000 Yeah.

00:28:09.000 You drive a belly button?

00:28:13.000 Guess that?

00:28:14.000 So you're not invited.

00:28:15.000 Sorry, Mexicans are poor mostly in America, but you're new here. 1.00

00:28:22.000 So you don't get the racism thing.

00:28:24.000 You came here, often illegally, and now you're saying this fucking sucks.

00:28:30.000 No.

00:28:31.000 Indians and Asians, Lebanese, Japanese, you rate higher on the income, GDP, whatever, the annual income scale, than whites do. 1.00

00:28:43.000 So you're out.

00:28:45.000 You're not allowed to complain.

00:28:47.000 I'm going to take culture stance just for the sake of argument here, because I'm too radical for YouTube.

00:28:53.000 Blacks may complain. 1.00

00:28:55.000 They have a background.

00:28:58.000 Asians? 0.76

00:29:02.000 They could squeeze into the oppressor category.

00:29:04.000 She's just as brainwashed as that white chick we just showed. 1.00

00:29:07.000 But what's she got now?

00:29:08.000 Go back.

00:29:08.000 Yes, I'm a racist.

00:29:10.000 We have to go back.

00:29:10.000 As a white person, I am super racist.

00:29:12.000 I know a lot of people like to say, yes, I'm a racist because that makes them feel like people know that I'm admitting my faults.

00:29:18.000 But like, I think that's a weird cop-out.

00:29:20.000 Have you experienced racist?

00:29:21.000 That's a good point.

00:29:22.000 That's a weird cop-out.

00:29:23.000 Yeah, it's a good point for a black to make. 1.00

00:29:27.000 Some fucking rich Japanese who can play the piano with her toes in her sleep and makes $120,000 a year, she's not invited to this discussion. 1.00

00:29:38.000 This woman is.

00:29:39.000 I'll listen to her.

00:29:42.000 Oh, heck yeah.

00:29:44.000 Are you racism?

00:29:45.000 That's a weird cop-out?

00:29:46.000 Have you experienced racism?

00:29:48.000 Oh, heck yeah.

00:29:49.000 I grew up in the south.

00:29:51.000 I mean, it happens every day, really.

00:29:53.000 I've been slammed on cop cars.

00:29:55.000 What do you do?

00:29:56.000 I was raping a little kid, and all of a sudden, I was slammed on a cop car.

00:30:00.000 I was on a non-consensual date.

00:30:03.000 Someone was screaming rape, rape. 0.98

00:30:04.000 For the future adults.

00:30:05.000 She punched me in the face. 1.00

00:30:06.000 My gun fell on the ground.

00:30:08.000 I was thrown out of the car.

00:30:12.000 The whole rape was ruined.

00:30:15.000 And what happens to that guy?

00:30:16.000 He just gets to walk around.

00:30:17.000 Stop ruining rapes.

00:30:21.000 You know, guns pulled out on me from police officers.

00:30:24.000 Context, please.

00:30:25.000 Right.

00:30:27.000 I've had, you know, guns pulled out on me from police officers.

00:30:27.000 Cars.

00:30:32.000 Like, that doesn't mean anything without context.

00:30:35.000 I've had guns pulled out.

00:30:36.000 What were you doing?

00:30:37.000 You were just handing a candy cane to your daughter?

00:30:40.000 I need to know the story.

00:30:43.000 Followed through a grocery store.

00:30:44.000 Got made fun of a lot.

00:30:45.000 Jing Chong Ling Long, all this and that.

00:30:47.000 Okay, pause.

00:30:47.000 Pause.

00:30:48.000 Jing Chong Ling Long. 0.59

00:30:49.000 If you've been made fun of, that's what you have to say.

00:30:51.000 That's your experience.

00:30:52.000 Yeah, that's a good point, too.

00:30:53.000 Like, we just had this black jogger who was assassinated on the street because they thought he robbed someone.

00:30:59.000 That's fucking scary.

00:31:01.000 That's intense.

00:31:02.000 I don't know the whole story, so I'm going to wait to pass judgment.

00:31:05.000 We'll see what comes out in court, whatever.

00:31:07.000 But that's got gravitas.

00:31:10.000 Getting shot, going for a jog with two men on a pickup truck and a rifle.

00:31:14.000 You got a point.

00:31:16.000 Ching Chang Ling Long, when you're in a group that's more successful than whites, that's exactly the same as me being called a cracker or a white boy. 0.75

00:31:27.000 Exactly the same.

00:31:28.000 I've heard Ching Chang Ling Long. 0.79

00:31:29.000 That was at the Bronx School by black kids.

00:31:32.000 Yeah.

00:31:33.000 That's another minor detail, too.

00:31:35.000 Like all this anti-Semitism going on in Brooklyn with the Hasids getting attacked.

00:31:39.000 It's black dudes. 0.88

00:31:40.000 And it was fun.

00:31:40.000 Yeah.

00:31:42.000 You liked it?

00:31:43.000 Well, I would be pissed off because you're a nip. 1.00

00:31:46.000 I would say, you should say, no, no, no.

00:31:48.000 Say like, hukosoro harikari.

00:31:51.000 Oh, I had no idea.

00:31:51.000 I believed in most.

00:31:52.000 Like, I'm a chink.

00:31:53.000 I don't know what I am.

00:31:54.000 You're a kid.

00:31:54.000 Oh, really?

00:31:55.000 You didn't know the difference between Chinese and Japanese?

00:31:57.000 I just thought they would do this.

00:31:59.000 I know what happened.

00:32:00.000 They called you Ching Chang Ling Long.

00:32:02.000 And then you went to your Japanese dad and said, hey, dad, oh.

00:32:06.000 You're gone.

00:32:08.000 You are a chink, chink, chink. 1.00

00:32:10.000 Just kidding, kid.

00:32:11.000 Nothing wrong.

00:32:12.000 Sat, sad.

00:32:15.000 No, for real.

00:32:16.000 You're not a ching chong, ching chong. 1.00

00:32:18.000 They would do this and be like, look at your eyes.

00:32:20.000 And I'd be like, look at our skin.

00:32:22.000 Your skin's drastically different from mine.

00:32:24.000 I can't impersonate you at all.

00:32:25.000 I could do it.

00:32:26.000 Yeah, I could do this.

00:32:29.000 But now I'm the racist.

00:32:30.000 Oh, great.

00:32:31.000 You just got us kicked off of YouTube.

00:32:33.000 All right.

00:32:33.000 We are leaving YouTube now and getting good at it, if you will.

00:32:38.000 But before we get.

00:32:40.000 Good at it, if you will, Johnny Apple, apples and strawberries.

00:32:45.000 Johnny Apple's new apple and strawberry tinctures are delicious and they help you sleep.

00:32:52.000 I use them to help me sleep.

00:32:54.000 And I need them.

00:32:55.000 If I don't have Johnny Apple tinctures to help me sleep, I have nightmares so intense that I wake up going, that's a really good horror movie.

00:33:04.000 And we actually were talking about it on last night's show, which you can see if you go to censored.tv and sign up.

00:33:08.000 Why don't you just sign up and try it for a month?

00:33:10.000 Yeah.

00:33:11.000 No, I'm e-begging.

00:33:13.000 These episodes are the worst it gets.

00:33:15.000 I have to use sponsors.

00:33:18.000 We don't have green screen.

00:33:19.000 We can't play the Rolling Stones.

00:33:21.000 We can't show movies to explain our points.

00:33:23.000 So we're hamstrung here.

00:33:25.000 You're seeing the bare bones.

00:33:27.000 You're seeing basically the MTV acoustic set of the show.

00:33:35.000 But what was I talking about?

00:33:39.000 CBD and going to sleep and nightmares.

00:33:41.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:33:42.000 So the tixtures help with the sleep.

00:33:43.000 And I don't have them.

00:33:44.000 I have nightmares.

00:33:48.000 If you have muscle pain, have some Johnny Apple CBD.

00:33:52.000 Right now, my listeners get 20% off all orders at jacbd.com.

00:33:58.000 Just enter promo code Gavin, jacbd.com, promo code Gavin, 20% off all orders.

00:34:05.000 And by the way, speaking of new subscribers, we have a new show.

00:34:08.000 We have Jacob Wall coming up, I think on Sunday, Saturday, with his new episode.

00:34:13.000 Copper Cap's coming up.

00:34:14.000 I wonder if he'll be discussing this controversy where he's trending on Twitter.

00:34:18.000 And Ilhan Omar, I showed that, right?

00:34:21.000 Did we show that tweet?

00:34:23.000 I showed Jacob Wall trending.

00:34:24.000 Did we show Ilhan Omar's tweet?

00:34:26.000 I don't think so.

00:34:27.000 Oh, maybe I didn't send it to you.

00:34:28.000 Whoops.

00:34:30.000 See if you can dig it up.

00:34:31.000 Ilhan Omar tweeted out that these people like Jacob Wall will smear you and you can't defend yourself because you're a public figure.

00:34:39.000 You can't sue them.

00:34:41.000 And eventually it becomes true in the public eye.

00:34:45.000 Well, in the case of Ilhan Omar, it is true, bitch. 1.00

00:34:49.000 You married your brother.

00:34:52.000 I'm not following her.

00:34:53.000 Weird.

00:34:55.000 Oh, I saw a porn video today where it was Alexandria Orquezo-Cortez performing Fallacio. 0.71

00:35:02.000 Oh, man.

00:35:03.000 Fallatio-Cortez.

00:35:04.000 Fallacio-Cortez.

00:35:06.000 She obviously wasn't doing it, but dude, it was perfect.

00:35:11.000 And her voice, she said something I won't say on the air about ejaculation and where it can't go involving swallowing.

00:35:21.000 And her voice was perfect.

00:35:24.000 Perfect.

00:35:25.000 And the face performing the act was perfect.

00:35:29.000 If you really looked hard, you could kind of see a few pixels across the forehead.

00:35:34.000 But I swear to God, dude, it was like Avengers level.

00:35:37.000 Oh, it was a deep fake.

00:35:38.000 Well, yeah.

00:35:39.000 I thought you meant they casted somebody that looked like her. 0.66

00:35:41.000 No, no, no, no, no, no.

00:35:42.000 Is that what it's called?

00:35:43.000 Deep fake?

00:35:44.000 Deep fake, yeah.

00:35:45.000 Dude, it was amazing.

00:35:47.000 And it's actually the end of sex tapes.

00:35:49.000 Because now, if someone catches you doing something, you go, that's not me.

00:35:52.000 And most of the population is going to believe you now.

00:35:56.000 You got the wall?

00:35:58.000 The world is full of smear artists like Jacob Wall.

00:36:01.000 Some get caught, other don't.

00:36:03.000 Nice grammar.

00:36:04.000 But the people, don't start a sentence with butt. 1.00

00:36:07.000 But the people they smear will forever live with those smears.

00:36:11.000 She can't speak English.

00:36:12.000 Not having legal recourse if you are a public figure to go after these folks is what gives them the license to continue to do it.

00:36:19.000 Like Kavanaugh?

00:36:22.000 No, of course not.

00:36:22.000 That you smeared?

00:36:23.000 Right.

00:36:24.000 And then he responded, actually.

00:36:26.000 Is he still on Twitter?

00:36:28.000 Look him up on Twitter if you can.

00:36:29.000 He's got to be.

00:36:30.000 Anyway, he'll be here with the show.

00:36:31.000 And we also have an announcement to make.

00:36:34.000 Jim Goad.

00:36:37.000 Jim Goad is on the show.

00:36:39.000 Now, his episode isn't ready this week, but it'll be ready shortly.

00:36:42.000 But I'm confident to announce it.

00:36:44.000 We're also looking at real estate today for a new studio, a real studio.

00:36:48.000 We did this for a year at a shit studio.

00:36:51.000 We generated some income.

00:36:52.000 And that's the way you do business, folks.

00:36:54.000 If you want to own a cupcake chain, you sell them from your house first.

00:37:00.000 You see how it's going.

00:37:02.000 We have 16,000 people paying 10 bucks a month.

00:37:05.000 We're doing pretty good.

00:37:07.000 It's time to slowly expand.

00:37:11.000 Okay.

00:37:11.000 What are you doing?

00:37:13.000 I want you to find Jacob wall on Twitter.

00:37:17.000 I think he got banned.

00:37:18.000 Oh, maybe it was on Instagram or Telegram or something?

00:37:22.000 Ah, he's on Instagram, yes.

00:37:25.000 I might have him on.

00:37:28.000 We're going past the limit.

00:37:29.000 We're supposed to stop this at half an hour.

00:37:34.000 Where is he?

00:37:35.000 I got him here.

00:37:36.000 I got Wal.

00:37:37.000 Oh, I have him in Telegram.

00:37:40.000 So his response to that you just saw was, Ilhan Omar married her brother, cheated on two other husbands, and committed immigration fraud, which is basically all the same act. 0.54

00:37:54.000 You know, it's not on Instagram, Peanut Face.

00:37:56.000 All right, we're done.

00:37:59.000 Now we're moving behind the paywall, bourbon and socks month.

00:38:04.000 We're going to be giving out many, a case of single.

00:38:08.000 So we have a case of America Bourbon we're going to be giving out.

00:38:13.000 But not, you don't get a case.

00:38:14.000 I'm really good at talking.

00:38:15.000 I should have my own talk show.

00:38:18.000 And then we're also going to be giving out a couple pairs of socks to all these people.

00:38:22.000 So caller one gets a bottle of America bourbon and two pairs of Heshy socks.

00:38:26.000 Caller two gets a bottle of America Bourbon and two pairs of Heshy socks.

00:38:30.000 Get America Tipsy with some Hessi swag, bourbon and sock month.

00:38:33.000 And you may have noticed that it's effective because I'm slurring my words.

00:38:38.000 So the next hour and a half is going to be a shit show.

00:38:41.000 I apologize in advance.

00:38:42.000 Get fired.

00:38:43.000 Get in trouble.

00:38:44.000 Be brave.

00:38:45.000 And never stop fighting.

00:38:48.000 Losers.

00:39:06.000 Let's go back to that.

00:39:06.000 Are you racist thing?

00:39:08.000 There's certain clips where I could watch them a hundred times.

00:39:13.000 And then the town hall, I had Ryan download it the other day because that town hall we showed on what was it, two shows ago?

00:39:13.000 This is one of them.

00:39:21.000 What are you doing?

00:39:24.000 Enjoying the copyright free.

00:39:26.000 Oh.

00:39:30.000 Stones and Star.

00:39:33.000 Stone Wars.

00:39:35.000 Stones Wars.

00:39:36.000 Look how strong I am.

00:39:37.000 This is what's cool about having kids.

00:39:38.000 You show that to a two-year-old and you go...

00:39:45.000 My dad is the hook.

00:39:48.000 That is incredible.

00:39:50.000 Jump the border.

00:39:52.000 Just pause, pause, pause, pause.

00:39:54.000 You jump the border.

00:39:56.000 Sorry.

00:39:57.000 Ouch, right?

00:39:58.000 You've been jumping the border very recently, so no.

00:40:03.000 Like you go up to a black person, you go, hey, slave, go get me something, slave. 0.99

00:40:07.000 That's fraught with centuries of baggage.

00:40:11.000 You've been jumping over the border recently, and I'm pretending you did.

00:40:19.000 Did you like jump the border?

00:40:21.000 Can you speak English?

00:40:22.000 Hey, speak English.

00:40:23.000 Honichiwa, I want to eat sushi from your pussy. 1.00

00:40:28.000 Come on.

00:40:29.000 Yeah.

00:40:30.000 And by the way, isn't that nice?

00:40:34.000 Doesn't hurt to have pussy eaten, I mean, sushi eaten out of your pussy. 1.00

00:40:38.000 I bet Lady Gaga asked me.

00:40:40.000 It's a little too fishy for my taste, but it's complimentary.

00:40:43.000 And do you speak English?

00:40:44.000 That's the worst you got?

00:40:47.000 Can I communicate with you?

00:40:49.000 Will you understand me if I convey my feelings to you?

00:40:56.000 Oh, you're the manager?

00:40:59.000 I wonder if she's the manager.

00:41:00.000 I don't think she's the manager.

00:41:02.000 Wouldn't that be funny if she's not the manager? 1.00

00:41:03.000 God, that's the kind of thing I want to...

00:41:11.000 Woman was never manager. 1.00

00:41:12.000 Of course, I'd be racist for looking it up.

00:41:15.000 You're the manager?

00:41:17.000 Because if you are, that's a valid point.

00:41:20.000 But if you're not, you're a fucking weirdo.

00:41:24.000 That's like me going, people don't even suspect for a second that I'm a classical pianist.

00:41:30.000 They look at me and they're like, you got tattoos.

00:41:33.000 You're a dirtbag.

00:41:34.000 You can't play box concerto.

00:41:38.000 Well, can you?

00:41:40.000 What?

00:41:41.000 So you're part of it too?

00:41:43.000 You're also doubting I could play that?

00:41:48.000 It's like no one knows.

00:41:51.000 Or let me rephrase that.

00:41:54.000 People assume that I can't play classical piano better than fucking Yo-Yo Ma.

00:42:00.000 Does he play the piano?

00:42:03.000 You're a Ching Chang Ling Long. 1.00

00:42:04.000 Yo-Yo Ma plays cello.

00:42:06.000 Why don't you call him?

00:42:07.000 I don't have his number.

00:42:09.000 That's ridiculous.

00:42:10.000 Just close your eyes.

00:42:12.000 They're already there.

00:42:13.000 Just close your eyes, which takes no time at all.

00:42:16.000 That's mean.

00:42:16.000 And then just fucking...

00:42:22.000 Let's see if you can play piano.

00:42:23.000 Can you play piano, by the way?

00:42:24.000 From A to L are your keys.

00:42:27.000 Oh.

00:42:28.000 A to L. Yeah. 0.93

00:42:33.000 Okay.

00:42:38.000 This is not working.

00:42:39.000 I don't know what's going on with the keyboard.

00:42:40.000 What do you mean?

00:42:40.000 No, it's messed up.

00:42:42.000 It's not messed up.

00:42:43.000 No, it's not.

00:42:44.000 There you go.

00:42:45.000 Now you can see.

00:42:57.000 It's not really working very well.

00:42:58.000 I think it's not really designed.

00:43:00.000 A lot of keyboards are not designed to be pianos.

00:43:03.000 A lot of complaints will be lies.

00:43:09.000 Oh, it's sporadic, so it works sometimes and it doesn't.

00:43:12.000 You know what it might be?

00:43:12.000 No, it works just fine.

00:43:13.000 Your keyboard needs batteries.

00:43:16.000 This is true.

00:43:16.000 A lot of the keyboards will need batteries.

00:43:20.000 Some complaints will be false.

00:43:24.000 I guess that just does away with whatever I said.

00:43:26.000 You know, David Cross and I, when we were in China, Ching Chang Lingnong, me and the cameraman and this other guy, Trace, whom I no longer speak to, convinced a bar to let us play as a band.

00:43:39.000 Oh, no.

00:43:40.000 And I can't remember what our name was, like America Rocks.

00:43:43.000 And they said, okay, we are excited to have a band in town.

00:43:46.000 It's very rare that a band makes it all the way to China.

00:43:50.000 She must be good.

00:43:51.000 So David sang, I think I played guitar.

00:43:56.000 And then our cameraman played drums.

00:43:57.000 And it was what you just heard.

00:43:59.000 Pong, ping, ping, pong, pong, lang, lang, lang.

00:44:03.000 And then David was just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, rock it and some German guy started leaving and David stopped the band.

00:44:13.000 Shut up, shut up. 1.00

00:44:14.000 We're like, ping, blong.

00:44:17.000 And David goes, where are you going?

00:44:19.000 He goes, I don't like this kind of garbage.

00:44:22.000 I like real music.

00:44:24.000 And then David, not the wittiest line ever, but he Zeek Holly went, take all the juice, put them in the ovens.

00:44:31.000 Yeah, it's kind of just like low-hanging German fruit.

00:44:35.000 German fruit.

00:44:38.000 You are like 200 meters lower than good.

00:44:41.000 Yes, Joy Villa is so tall, she has like the Lady Liberty plus 200 meters. 1.00

00:44:51.000 What?

00:44:52.000 I was trying to tell my son that story today.

00:44:56.000 What?

00:44:58.000 What the hell are you talking about?

00:45:02.000 I love that so much.

00:45:03.000 That guy is not on SNL because he's ugly.

00:45:06.000 And by the way, we talk about isms on the show all the time.

00:45:06.000 Terrible.

00:45:09.000 There is a powerful ism out there that is unjustified and prevents you from enjoying your life to the extent that you deserve.

00:45:19.000 And it's called uglyism.

00:45:21.000 They talk about like resumes and stuff.

00:45:24.000 A lot of employers will get a resume.

00:45:26.000 It looks really good.

00:45:27.000 And I often joke about this where I see like a resume with an accountant, and the guy's going to make the money.

00:45:33.000 And then he looks at the guy and goes, Oh, a Negro, yeah, and says, No, I mock the absurdity of that scenario. 0.99

00:45:40.000 However, the scenario of him looking up and seeing a hideous person and just going, Do I really want to look at this every day when I come into work?

00:45:51.000 Or lazy eye, right?

00:45:53.000 Lazy Eyes look cool.

00:45:55.000 I like a lazy eye.

00:45:56.000 Me too.

00:45:57.000 What's with the TriCaster huffing and puffing him?

00:46:02.000 I have this fucking bird outside my window that it's a dove, I guess, but its call is exactly a phone vibrating with an emergency.

00:46:16.000 Like an amber.

00:46:18.000 And, you know, if someone's dead, if your mother's dead, then you'll get a text and then you won't answer it.

00:46:24.000 And then they'll keep texting until you pick up.

00:46:26.000 It's like, oh, my mom's dead.

00:46:30.000 And it's at 6 a.m.

00:46:35.000 Can you hear?

00:46:36.000 I don't hear you.

00:46:38.000 It's not doing it at the moment.

00:46:41.000 Fucking 11 minutes of this shit.

00:46:43.000 Never mind.

00:46:46.000 They can stand there all stupid and cute. 0.81

00:46:50.000 They were fucking dinosaurs.

00:46:50.000 I hate birds.

00:46:52.000 They killed us.

00:46:53.000 Fuck you, bird. 1.00

00:46:55.000 You fucking dinosaurs.

00:46:56.000 It's not even doing its damn stuff.

00:46:57.000 When you see mammals like mice and stuff, at least they're tangentially related to us, and they burrowed underground and we became an offshoot of them.

00:47:06.000 Dinosaurs fucked us.

00:47:07.000 With their...

00:47:11.000 Oh, I'm sorry.

00:47:12.000 But they tried to fucking wipe us out.

00:47:14.000 You should hate birds.

00:47:15.000 They're dicks.

00:47:17.000 Is that the TriCaster?

00:47:18.000 You know what you should do?

00:47:19.000 Here's a little happy trick.

00:47:21.000 Go to your freezer.

00:47:22.000 Do you have any sort of ice packs?

00:47:26.000 I don't know if we do.

00:47:27.000 Do you have an ice tray?

00:47:29.000 I don't know.

00:47:30.000 Let me check.

00:47:31.000 Put ice in a bag and put that on the tri-caster.

00:47:36.000 When my projector overheats, it gets really loud and I'll put ice packs on it.

00:47:42.000 And it fucking stops making crazy sounds.

00:47:47.000 And my wife gets mad that I have a homemade, rickety, home entertainment system that has pipe cleaners and Bluetooth speakers. 1.00

00:47:58.000 Well, I said put the ice in a bag.

00:48:01.000 There's no real contact going on there.

00:48:03.000 I'm worried it'll let it.

00:48:05.000 Not in a bag, in a bag.

00:48:07.000 But they come in shape.

00:48:08.000 Thank you.

00:48:14.000 We've got to take calls in about 15 minutes.

00:48:17.000 We can finally talk about things that are copyrighted and wildly litigious.

00:48:26.000 Like something I got to hand to Ryan.

00:48:30.000 He was watching the new Seinfeld, and he noticed that Sebastian is biting Maniscalco.

00:48:38.000 Who else did we catch biting Maniscalco?

00:48:42.000 Fuck, who was it?

00:48:43.000 Was it Louis?

00:48:44.000 No, right?

00:48:45.000 No, I don't think it's Louis.

00:48:46.000 He's too fat.

00:48:48.000 But a lot of people are doing this thing.

00:48:52.000 Why don't you get up, Ryan, and show us what defines Sebastian Maniscalco?

00:49:01.000 And now apparently there's this fucking annoying mime in France that everyone's bootlicking. 1.00

00:49:06.000 Marcel, Marcel.

00:49:10.000 Here, yeah.

00:49:13.000 Oh, you want the actual mic?

00:49:15.000 Okay.

00:49:17.000 My mother would have us working in the kitchen. 1.00

00:49:20.000 You know, you got kids work at slave labor. 0.98

00:49:24.000 She's got me stirrin'the sauce. 0.98

00:49:27.000 You're not good under pressure.

00:49:31.000 No, I ate it.

00:49:33.000 You were so funny with that before the show, and then the cameras go on and you start doing guitar player.

00:49:39.000 It feels unnatural.

00:49:40.000 When you're at the guitar store.

00:49:40.000 I don't know these people.

00:49:42.000 And then he has that thing about, my mama was downstairs, my grandma making lasagna throwing the lasagna up the fucking stairs. 0.61

00:49:51.000 You go, that's funny, Sebastian.

00:49:54.000 I love it.

00:49:55.000 But I'm also watching it going, that's your thing, okay?

00:49:59.000 You're the effusive.

00:50:00.000 He has these long steps where he goes out of frame.

00:50:08.000 Yeah.

00:50:09.000 And that's what makes him great.

00:50:11.000 He kind of reinvented comedy.

00:50:13.000 He sort of brought fucking slapstick, three Stooges stuff into him being pissed at someone at the gym.

00:50:20.000 And I don't like that other people, especially superhero mainstream comedians like Jerry Seinfeld, who I'm fine with.

00:50:28.000 I don't really have an opinion about him, taking that.

00:50:33.000 I saw him work this material out, by the way.

00:50:35.000 Was he doing the Maniscalco shit?

00:50:38.000 No, it was a lot less movement, but the pops.

00:50:40.000 So apparently, Maniscalco, he's always been the gesticulating Italian. 0.84

00:50:46.000 Hey, what are you talking about?

00:50:49.000 What are you doing?

00:50:51.000 What's going on?

00:50:53.000 And it's sincere, too.

00:50:54.000 You can tell it's like a form of him showing his rage.

00:50:58.000 And then he went to see some famous fucking mime, which I think is gay. 1.00

00:51:02.000 I'm sure there's mimes in America that you could work with to really train him to be an over-the-top guy.

00:51:13.000 How do women wear jewelry? 1.00

00:51:14.000 It's so heavy and uncomfortable.

00:51:16.000 I mean, I am wearing all her jewelry, but then Seinfeld goes to the same guy.

00:51:24.000 Or they study under him.

00:51:25.000 They study his methods.

00:51:27.000 Yeah.

00:51:28.000 Yeah.

00:51:28.000 Now, I hope Maniscalco said, you should go to my guy in Paris.

00:51:33.000 He's like a mime guy. 0.87

00:51:36.000 I hope Sebastian said that, because if he didn't, and then Pierre Carré calls Sebastian, he goes, Sebastian, Jerry was just here.

00:51:50.000 Did you know that?

00:51:51.000 He's an amazing, amazing guy, such a good comedian.

00:51:55.000 And then Sebastian's like, oh, he was over there.

00:51:58.000 What were you guys doing?

00:52:00.000 Oh, I was showing him some of the things I showed you that made you so famous.

00:52:06.000 Anyway, this is just a theory.

00:52:08.000 And I'm actually piggybacking Ryan's theory.

00:52:11.000 But tell us what you think.

00:52:13.000 Show him what you got.

00:52:15.000 This is the first bit, the ice cream bit.

00:52:17.000 We live here in New York.

00:52:18.000 Over here, I'm so sick of hearing about great restaurants.

00:52:20.000 Joey, we went to a great restaurant last night.

00:52:24.000 It was great.

00:52:25.000 You would love it.

00:52:26.000 He would love it.

00:52:26.000 Wouldn't he love it?

00:52:27.000 You would love it.

00:52:30.000 That's the face, actually.

00:52:31.000 He's got a bit of Fred Armison in there, too.

00:52:33.000 Dude, he looks like Ari Shafir and John Travolta.

00:52:36.000 Okay, you're off on a tangent now.

00:52:38.000 We're trying to figure out if he's ripping people off.

00:52:40.000 I don't remember him having bug eyes.

00:52:42.000 Yeah, no, no.

00:52:43.000 So that's the face.

00:52:44.000 Okay, so he stole Sebastian's face.

00:52:46.000 You, wouldn't he?

00:52:47.000 I didn't just say stole, by the way.

00:52:48.000 I know it sounded like that.

00:52:50.000 But did you?

00:52:51.000 I didn't care for myself.

00:52:52.000 But you.

00:52:54.000 Yeah, so there's the eyes.

00:52:55.000 And then the second example is this is the first example of the miming, as we like to call it.

00:53:05.000 Cream falls off the top.

00:53:07.000 Okay, here we go.

00:53:08.000 Oh, that sucks.

00:53:09.000 It could have been great.

00:53:09.000 I know.

00:53:12.000 I say to you that sucks and great are the exact same thing.

00:53:14.000 You have an ice cream cone, you're walking down the street, the ice cream falls off the top of the cone, hits the pavement, sucks.

00:53:20.000 What do you say?

00:53:21.000 Great.

00:53:23.000 So he's a lot looser.

00:53:24.000 He's not a stiff ballet performer.

00:53:26.000 That's a shitty point.

00:53:28.000 Jerry, it's called sarcasm when you say great.

00:53:33.000 You're saying that's not great.

00:53:34.000 It sucks.

00:53:35.000 How is that funny?

00:53:37.000 Well, he just came back from a whole Carlin-esque type bit where he's listening.

00:53:41.000 He's like, that sucks.

00:53:42.000 Oh, I thought it was going to be great.

00:53:43.000 That would have been great, but it sucked.

00:53:45.000 Well, the first part was great, but then it sucked.

00:53:47.000 Oh, yeah.

00:53:48.000 4723.

00:53:49.000 Should you be really exploring new ways to do your shit when you're fucking 60 years old?

00:53:54.000 Just play it.

00:53:55.000 You're the Ramones at this point, dude.

00:53:57.000 Just play the hits.

00:53:58.000 In fact, that's what Jerry says.

00:54:01.000 He says, I don't like comedians with new sets.

00:54:04.000 Just play the hits.

00:54:06.000 I paid money to see you.

00:54:08.000 Yep.

00:54:10.000 It was like a murder to get a couple of drops of liquidity in the morning.

00:54:15.000 We had shredded wheat.

00:54:16.000 It was like wrapping your lips around a wood chipper.

00:54:20.000 Here comes.

00:54:21.000 You'd have breakfast.

00:54:22.000 You had to take two days off for the scars to heal so you can speak.

00:54:26.000 My mother would make cream of wheat. 0.68

00:54:27.000 She didn't understand the recipe.

00:54:28.000 Mom, the amount of water in this dish is critical.

00:54:34.000 You're making it too thick.

00:54:39.000 I can't even move my little kid's spoon in the bowl.

00:54:44.000 I'm seven.

00:54:44.000 I feel like I'm rowing in the hull of a Greek slave ship.

00:54:48.000 Getting to say Greek, right?

00:54:49.000 Because black is too heavy. 1.00

00:54:52.000 So he's a lot looser with it.

00:54:54.000 He's not going outside of his comfort zone, but very physical.

00:54:57.000 Lays on the ground and everything and walks the entire stage length for one joke.

00:55:01.000 Oh, yeah.

00:55:02.000 He's talking about how when you text, this is a good bit.

00:55:05.000 When you text and it's three dots, you see someone else texting three dots and then it goes away, it's like walking up to someone going, and then walking away.

00:55:15.000 But he walks away the entire length of the stage.

00:55:17.000 Yes, he does.

00:55:18.000 You know, Derek Beckles, who one of the few people that's funnier than me, one of the ex-friends who dumped me for Trump, he used to do that all the time just to fuck with people.

00:55:28.000 So you text him, and then he would text you and then delete it and text you and delete it.

00:55:34.000 So you just see these three things coming out and going away and coming out and going away.

00:55:37.000 That's terrible.

00:55:38.000 Funny stuff.

00:55:40.000 Advanced comedian.

00:55:42.000 All right, let's start taking calls.

00:55:46.000 Because to get into another subject too deep is going to be too much.

00:55:50.000 But I'm a big fan of Sebastian Manescalco.

00:55:54.000 I'm there stirring the sauce.

00:55:57.000 I'm burning more calories than she's feeding me.

00:56:00.000 He's kind of got a Trump thing.

00:56:02.000 But I've been watching his YouTube updates.

00:56:05.000 Brutally unfunny.

00:56:08.000 He's a little too cool.

00:56:09.000 Italians can be a little too cool sometimes. 1.00

00:56:13.000 Hey, what's up?

00:56:15.000 Look, dude, we're all old at this point, right?

00:56:18.000 You're not gay, so who cares, right? 1.00

00:56:20.000 We know who's gay, who's not gay. 0.99

00:56:22.000 That's not a thing.

00:56:23.000 Hey, Tommy Bags.

00:56:24.000 You don't have to lock the fucking dressing room when you go to change.

00:56:29.000 No one's going to try to grab your dick. 1.00

00:56:31.000 I'm there with Doc.

00:56:32.000 I see his fucking butt cheeks.

00:56:34.000 He wears like a gay thing that his underwear has no ass at all, just some straps. 0.99

00:56:39.000 I don't care.

00:56:41.000 I'm not bananas about it, but I don't care.

00:56:43.000 So like being cool when you're old.

00:56:46.000 What's up?

00:56:48.000 Yeah, I got three kids.

00:56:51.000 Today I played wiffle ball bat with my eldest boy.

00:56:56.000 He's got a new wiffle ball bat with a little T. So in the backyard, he can hit it against this net we have.

00:57:02.000 And then I asked my daughter.

00:57:05.000 She talked to her best friend.

00:57:07.000 Said her skirt was too short.

00:57:09.000 But then she pointed out that it's skorts or whatever you call it when it's a skirt and shorts. 0.99

00:57:15.000 And then I said, all right, I guess that's fine because it's shorts.

00:57:19.000 So I'm not mad at shorts.

00:57:20.000 It just looks like a skirt.

00:57:22.000 You're cool.

00:57:24.000 And then with my other boy, he took his sister's battery scooter and we scooted around the neighborhood like a fucking pair of badasses, just fucking our hair blown in the wind.

00:57:36.000 I was on my bike.

00:57:38.000 He was on his sister's scooter.

00:57:40.000 It was just like, fuck the world, man.

00:57:44.000 Then the kids played on the trampoline and wrestled with each other, the two boys.

00:57:49.000 Then we had chicken.

00:57:51.000 And I fucking did the dishes because my wife's working overtime. 1.00

00:57:55.000 My wife's being amazing, by the way, during this pandemic.

00:57:58.000 She's so good that I don't even have to do my job.

00:58:01.000 I'm just assigned things.

00:58:03.000 Like that whole scooter thing I just told you about, she said, why don't you bond with Johnny and ride around on Sophie's scooter?

00:58:10.000 He likes that now.

00:58:11.000 Just lower it for him.

00:58:13.000 I was like, okay.

00:58:14.000 I could be pissed out of my mind every day.

00:58:19.000 Last night, because it's easy to bond with the older kids.

00:58:23.000 They're just roommates.

00:58:24.000 So I can sit with my daughter and watch Strangers with Candy, and it's like I'm watching with my best friend.

00:58:30.000 And when I'm putting the wiffle balls for my boy, my other boy, it's fucking easy peas.

00:58:34.000 Poop, poop, poop. 0.94

00:58:36.000 He jokes about baseball.

00:58:37.000 We make fun of each other.

00:58:38.000 That's easy.

00:58:39.000 Seven-year-old is tricky because they don't like anything you like except graveyard cars.

00:58:46.000 My fucking son loves watching graveyard cards with me.

00:58:50.000 I'm so lucky.

00:58:51.000 It's my favorite show.

00:58:52.000 I sit there and they take back, what do you call Chryslers from the 70s and 80s, Mopars. 0.99

00:58:59.000 They fix up old Mopars from scratch and make them factory ready.

00:59:03.000 They even mimic the paint from the factory.

00:59:06.000 It's a fucking amazing show.

00:59:08.000 And my seven-year-old is next to me as they, you know, insert a transmission on something that has two millimeters play.

00:59:17.000 Sorry, not a transmission, an engine that has two millimeters play on either side.

00:59:20.000 And he's just sitting there eating fucking goldfish like, that's tight.

00:59:26.000 You're gonna, that's not gonna get in there.

00:59:29.000 Need more teddy grams here. 1.00

00:59:31.000 Watch my Mopar.

00:59:33.000 I'm so lucky.

00:59:34.000 I'm so lucky that my son, my youngest son, likes car shows.

00:59:38.000 We could watch Graveyard Cars, Garage Rescue, fucking the dudes with the bandanas, the guy Mike Horney with the horns.

00:59:45.000 Just like tweak, tweak.

00:59:48.000 Work on transmissions.

00:59:50.000 And he's happy as a pig and shit.

00:59:52.000 Graveyard Cars is worth watching, though.

00:59:54.000 The amount of information in that dude's mind is just like, I just want to fucking kill him and just put it in my mind.

01:00:02.000 I don't want to learn it all.

01:00:03.000 It's too much.

01:00:05.000 He knows what year that tube from the fucking carburetor was made by reading the code on the side.

01:00:16.000 Graveyard cars.

01:00:18.000 The guy with the ugly guy with a mustache.

01:00:20.000 Oh, wait.

01:00:21.000 There's a mustache in the foreground.

01:00:25.000 Well, he's old.

01:00:26.000 I don't even rate.

01:00:27.000 You can tell he wants to give the business to his daughter, and she's just like, sorry, I'm not a human fucking encyclopedia of old cars.

01:00:36.000 That's his buddy he grew up with.

01:00:37.000 I'm just going to try to find a used or an NOS one that stands for New Old Stock.

01:00:41.000 That's him.

01:00:42.000 And I'll just send it with the car with it.

01:00:44.000 Yeah, just pause.

01:00:44.000 This is the thing I learned recently.

01:00:46.000 There's the authentic parts that you find in a junkyard that go with that car.

01:00:51.000 There's just new ones.

01:00:54.000 Then there's a gray area in between where you recreate the original part.

01:00:59.000 And you put the paint on it the way it was in the 70s.

01:01:03.000 And you make it look, you basically make it indistinguishable from the real original.

01:01:10.000 And that's what they do when they can't find the original part.

01:01:13.000 Am I being boring?

01:01:15.000 No, that seems to my seven-year-old.

01:01:17.000 I like learning stuff.

01:01:18.000 For now, I got to get the carburetors up, hooked up, the secondary linkage hooked up, and get this thing where it'll run and drive under its own power because we're just playing out of time.

01:01:26.000 So while Royal was doing the final assembly of the interior trim panels, Josh and I were pain in the ass.

01:01:31.000 But if you don't gay for men, then the penalty is.

01:01:34.000 These are the evil that's smashed the patriarchy.

01:01:36.000 That's what feminists hate. 1.00

01:01:39.000 Fuck man, I hate them.

01:01:42.000 All right, let me get some paper.

01:01:45.000 Some doodles?

01:01:47.000 I'll get the doodle can ready.

01:01:49.000 Welcome back to Dudes Doing Doodles.

01:01:50.000 We got Nick talking about t-shirts.

01:01:53.000 Okay.

01:01:53.000 Let's talk to Nick, the winner of something.

01:01:56.000 Oh, yeah, Nick, you win a Bond America and a bunch of socks.

01:02:01.000 Are you 21 or over?

01:02:02.000 Awesome.

01:02:04.000 I am 27.

01:02:05.000 Do you have feet?

01:02:08.000 I got two feet.

01:02:09.000 All right, you win.

01:02:11.000 They don't have to have feet.

01:02:12.000 Oh, they can do whatever they want with the socks, yeah.

01:02:17.000 I sent you an email just now.

01:02:19.000 If you go to your email and just look up I Don't Break Per Cleefs, a little drawing I drew for you, a possible t-shirt idea.

01:02:27.000 Oh, okay.

01:02:28.000 Got it.

01:02:29.000 This better be good because if it sucks, we're going to shit on it.

01:02:32.000 Yeah, we're going to shit in your socks and then send them.

01:02:36.000 I hope it doesn't suck.

01:02:37.000 What do you think, Evan?

01:02:38.000 It sucks.

01:02:42.000 I like it.

01:02:44.000 But I'm retarded, so that means less.

01:02:46.000 That's not good, dude.

01:02:47.000 You need to practice.

01:02:50.000 Thank you.

01:02:52.000 All right.

01:02:52.000 I'll get your number and call you after the show.

01:02:57.000 This is what's wrong with the kids today.

01:02:59.000 So much self-esteem.

01:03:02.000 So happy with themselves.

01:03:04.000 And they just haven't done the work.

01:03:05.000 I can look at that drawing in one second and know how long he's been drawing for.

01:03:11.000 And it's just not enough time.

01:03:14.000 And I'm not that good.

01:03:16.000 I used to be great, but I've lost my skill, as you'll see today.

01:03:21.000 But fucking put in the work, dude.

01:03:25.000 All right, we got a call from the Discord.

01:03:26.000 We're going to go back and forth one for one.

01:03:30.000 Hey, what's up, guys?

01:03:31.000 All right.

01:03:32.000 First up, we got Casey calling about three hours.

01:03:36.000 Hey, Gav, can you hear me?

01:03:38.000 Yep.

01:03:38.000 What's up, dude?

01:03:39.000 Hey, man.

01:03:40.000 I just was following the QAnon stuff, and I don't know what to think one way or the other, but I do find it kind of weird that CNN and the mainstream media do several exposés and report on it and call it a right-wing fringe conspiracy theory and such, but they won't ask Trump about it at all.

01:03:57.000 And they love tying stuff like that to Trump.

01:04:00.000 And it's been going on for three years, but they just won't tie it to him.

01:04:03.000 And Trump himself hasn't disavowed it and does more to promote it than anything.

01:04:07.000 He retweets pro-QAnon accounts and drops things that coincide with Q drops.

01:04:12.000 So my question, I guess, is, especially now with all the Flynn stuff coming out, do you think Trump is actually draining the swamp?

01:04:20.000 Or is it even possible to completely drain the swamp of bad actors and career politicians?

01:04:25.000 I believe in Q. I believe that Trump is doing a pretty good job of draining the swamp.

01:04:32.000 He could afford to have slightly bigger balls.

01:04:34.000 He seems to be getting a little trepidatious right now and backing up a bit.

01:04:40.000 If he was the Trump that we elected, he would just say, fuck it, back to work, boys.

01:04:46.000 Let's fucking do it, Estee.

01:04:49.000 Do you think a lot of that, though, is for optics?

01:04:51.000 Because if he didn't listen to Fauci and Burks a little bit and give them a little bit of rope to hang themselves, people would just call him a dictator and blame the deaths on him even more?

01:04:59.000 Like, oh, You opened up things too fast and you left things open.

01:05:02.000 So they're going to say it's his fault regardless, but I think they would have pounded that point harder if he didn't close things down.

01:05:09.000 Yeah, I think you're right.

01:05:11.000 Yeah, that's what's going on.

01:05:14.000 He's playing his cards.

01:05:17.000 He's pretty cautious with shit like this.

01:05:20.000 Like, he'd never pardon the Proud Boys.

01:05:23.000 That's way too controversial.

01:05:25.000 Way too.

01:05:27.000 Same thing with Alex Jones.

01:05:28.000 Like, he went on Alex's show beforehand, but I haven't heard him once bring up Alex or went back on the show, and I don't blame him, but it's the same thing as the Proud Boys.

01:05:37.000 I find you just.

01:05:39.000 Yeah, it's like Greg Guttfeld.

01:05:41.000 They just go, sorry, not worth it.

01:05:43.000 I got to survive.

01:05:45.000 And like you said earlier today, Greg Guttfeld has great ratings, so I guess I can't really blame him.

01:05:50.000 Yeah.

01:05:51.000 I mean, Tucker's the same way.

01:05:52.000 Tucker's never had any Proud Boys on.

01:05:56.000 Yeah.

01:05:57.000 All right.

01:05:57.000 Well, thanks, Ten.

01:05:58.000 Hey, you won.

01:05:59.000 You won, dude.

01:06:01.000 Oh, awesome.

01:06:02.000 I get the whiskey?

01:06:03.000 Yep, you get whiskey and socks.

01:06:05.000 Whiskey socks.

01:06:07.000 Awesome.

01:06:08.000 Where are you from, by the way?

01:06:08.000 I love it.

01:06:09.000 Can I guess where you're from?

01:06:11.000 Do it.

01:06:13.000 Etobicoke.

01:06:16.000 Four hours away from there.

01:06:18.000 I'm an hour west of Ottawa in Ontario.

01:06:21.000 I just live actually like three hours from Etobicoke, I'd say.

01:06:25.000 In Kingston?

01:06:27.000 I'm 40 minutes from Kingston.

01:06:29.000 Oh, we're honing in.

01:06:30.000 Fuck.

01:06:31.000 Perfect.

01:06:32.000 Brockville, Ontario.

01:06:33.000 Brockville.

01:06:34.000 Oh, Brockville.

01:06:35.000 I remember Brockville.

01:06:37.000 Isn't there a private school there?

01:06:40.000 I don't know.

01:06:40.000 I'm sure there's a couple, but I'm not aware of it.

01:06:42.000 Maybe I'm thinking of Kingston or something.

01:06:45.000 I remember hearing about the Brockville boys, because the private school kids were getting fights with the local kids.

01:06:50.000 It's a working-class town, so they didn't get along, obviously.

01:06:55.000 One more quick thing.

01:06:56.000 I know you touch on it a lot, but my buddy wanted me to ask, he loves hearing about all your entrepreneurship and about starting vice and all that stuff.

01:07:04.000 He'd love it if you talked more about that stuff.

01:07:06.000 Okay, I'll talk more about that stuff.

01:07:11.000 Thanks, man.

01:07:11.000 All right.

01:07:12.000 All right.

01:07:12.000 Fucking later days, blaze.

01:07:14.000 All right.

01:07:15.000 We'll get back to you, Discord.

01:07:16.000 Bring snake at ache. 0.96

01:07:18.000 Fuck.

01:07:19.000 All right, we got Michael Jackson breakfast cereal.

01:07:25.000 Yo, what up, y'all?

01:07:27.000 Yo, dog.

01:07:28.000 I love the show.

01:07:29.000 Just subscribed like last month and shit.

01:07:31.000 Keep up to your work.

01:07:32.000 I appreciate everything you guys do.

01:07:34.000 Anyhow, I live in New York City.

01:07:37.000 I've been debating with my girl because there are no jobs currently available to apply to.

01:07:43.000 So I'm thinking maybe I'll just buy drugs and flip that and start selling them.

01:07:47.000 What do you think?

01:07:48.000 Should I wait until Cuomo, the Lord of all, decides to open up the economy or should I just start flipping packs and making this money?

01:07:55.000 That's all I had to say.

01:07:56.000 Thanks for taking the call.

01:07:57.000 Wait, dealing what?

01:08:00.000 Drugs, narcotics.

01:08:02.000 What kind of drugs?

01:08:03.000 It seems like, probably just weed, maybe pills.

01:08:07.000 Seems like that's the only route where you can make money these days.

01:08:11.000 Do you have any priors?

01:08:13.000 No, sir.

01:08:14.000 Never been caught.

01:08:14.000 None.

01:08:16.000 Yeah, I think it's time to fucking just start dealing drugs, getting some Coke out there.

01:08:22.000 I got your number, dude.

01:08:24.000 No, I don't do that.

01:08:26.000 But I do have it.

01:08:27.000 No doubt.

01:08:27.000 I appreciate it.

01:08:29.000 Yeah, it's good money, too.

01:08:32.000 And then you get caught once, and then you should probably stop, right?

01:08:34.000 You don't want to become like El Chapo.

01:08:36.000 But when you're a young man.

01:08:37.000 Yeah, my dad did fucking 15 years of that shit.

01:08:40.000 Jeez.

01:08:41.000 Okay, so that's when you're getting a little carried away.

01:08:43.000 That's time to dial it back.

01:08:45.000 Yeah, just don't go with hard stuff, man.

01:08:46.000 Just don't.

01:08:47.000 What was your dad dealing?

01:08:49.000 Like death?

01:08:50.000 I think cracking heroin.

01:08:52.000 But he went to jail because he fought an undercover cop.

01:08:56.000 He tried to get away and shit like that.

01:08:56.000 He has two guns on him.

01:08:58.000 So, yeah, he did some dickhead shit.

01:09:01.000 I don't think it was drug related.

01:09:02.000 I'm pretty sure he caught that charge for fighting the cop.

01:09:06.000 Put some money aside.

01:09:07.000 Put some of your net aside for lawyer fees.

01:09:12.000 That makes a lot of sense.

01:09:14.000 All right, dude.

01:09:15.000 Best of luck.

01:09:15.000 Drug dealing.

01:09:16.000 Have fun.

01:09:18.000 You have our blessing.

01:09:21.000 Is that legal for me to advocate?

01:09:23.000 No.

01:09:24.000 But I don't like it.

01:09:24.000 Like, two Proud Boys are in prison now because as a joke, I said, choke a tranny.

01:09:30.000 In so many ways.

01:09:32.000 We have more calls from the Discord.

01:09:35.000 Okay, next up we have Shauna. 1.00

01:09:39.000 Thanks, Shauna.

01:09:40.000 Hello, here you go.

01:09:41.000 Hello?

01:09:51.000 Can you hear me?

01:09:52.000 Yes, yes.

01:09:55.000 Hi, Kevin.

01:09:56.000 How are you doing?

01:09:56.000 I'm good.

01:09:57.000 How are you, my dear?

01:09:59.000 I'm fantastic.

01:10:00.000 I really hope you and your family are doing well.

01:10:02.000 So I'll get right into my question.

01:10:06.000 So I believe we are about to see the greatest transfer of wealth in our lifetime, a complete change in our monetary system.

01:10:14.000 That's likely, yep.

01:10:19.000 How do you feel about that?

01:10:23.000 Wait, did she disappear from the yeah, we just lost her.

01:10:28.000 All right, we're going to go back to a call.

01:10:29.000 We'll come right back to y'all.

01:10:32.000 We got Cody.

01:10:35.000 Hey, Cody.

01:10:36.000 I'm not liking this.

01:10:37.000 What's going on, guys?

01:10:38.000 proud of your boy.

01:10:39.000 Proud of your boy.

01:10:45.000 And Ryan, would you mind looking up something while I give Dav my shield?

01:10:50.000 Go ahead.

01:10:52.000 It's Elodi Young.

01:10:55.000 She played Electra in the Daredevil Netflix series.

01:10:59.000 She's got goofy teeth, bitchy eyebrows. 1.00

01:10:59.000 Chick's a babe. 1.00

01:11:01.000 It's fucking awesome.

01:11:02.000 That's funny.

01:11:03.000 So, since when are we giving these fucking assholes an inch so they can take a mile? 1.00

01:11:08.000 When you were talking about how all I go is Republican, Democrat, every eight years.

01:11:13.000 Fuck that, dude.

01:11:14.000 Let's start a draft.

01:11:15.000 Let's fucking take shit over forever, dude.

01:11:18.000 Fuck that.

01:11:19.000 Yeah, you know, I remember in 1989, there were these skinheads who showed up to our show and they beat up the skinheads, Nazi skinheads in my town were starving for victims because there wasn't really any blacks or anyone to fight.

01:11:36.000 So there was this dude, Yuri, who was like an Israeli punk dude.

01:11:41.000 And so they were excited.

01:11:42.000 So they beat him up and we weren't there.

01:11:42.000 Okay, we got one.

01:11:45.000 We didn't know what happened.

01:11:46.000 So we found it happened.

01:11:47.000 We ran to the byward market and scoured the streets.

01:11:51.000 Ottawa was a small town, so it's not hard to find the guys.

01:11:54.000 So we caught them.

01:11:55.000 Nice.

01:11:57.000 So we roughed them up a bit.

01:11:58.000 We threw them around and we kicked them in the head.

01:12:00.000 And then we picked them up and we thought, let's, I thought at least I was the oldest of the group.

01:12:04.000 Everyone was like 16.

01:12:06.000 I was 19.

01:12:07.000 And I was like, I'm going to fuck with them like a Tarantino movie.

01:12:11.000 So I started like pacing around him and stuff going, you guys are in a lot of shit right now.

01:12:17.000 And they were really nervous.

01:12:19.000 They were probably 17.

01:12:20.000 And I go, you're going to get fucked.

01:12:23.000 And then I grab one of them and I go, you know that we fuck our opponents, don't you?

01:12:30.000 And I grabbed one of them and I licked his face, like from his neck up to his temple, like I was this weird gay guy. 0.77

01:12:38.000 And I look over at my crew and instead of them going like, yeah, you're going to get fucked, they all went, what the fuck?

01:12:48.000 And they didn't have my back.

01:12:50.000 And I kind of feel that way with these people right now.

01:12:57.000 Like, they've come up with this martial law and everyone can't wait to just fucking acquiesce.

01:13:05.000 Thank you for oppressing me.

01:13:08.000 Well, dude, and it's like, look, if they're not putting their best, they're putting Biden up.

01:13:13.000 Are you fucking kidding me?

01:13:15.000 If they're going to put Hillary and Biden up as their best, dude, why don't we just line them up? 0.79

01:13:20.000 Like, oh, yeah, in four years, we'll put up Ted Cruz.

01:13:23.000 Eight years after that, we'll put up this guy.

01:13:25.000 Just line them up.

01:13:26.000 If that's what they're going to put forward, how hard could it be?

01:13:30.000 So, wait, what are you saying exactly?

01:13:33.000 Well, you know how in the NHL maybe, like, they have scouts that are looking at 15-year-olds, you know?

01:13:39.000 Oh, I see.

01:13:40.000 You see what I'm saying?

01:13:40.000 Yeah.

01:13:41.000 Well, that's why I said the election.

01:13:43.000 That's why I said Ted Cruz 2032.

01:13:45.000 I don't think we're going to get a fucking Republican after Trump's second term.

01:13:51.000 Well, hey, man, if they keep putting up people like Biden, I don't see why not.

01:13:55.000 Biden.

01:13:55.000 How about fucking anyone but Biden, you dummies?

01:13:59.000 I almost want to coach them and say, guys, guys, guys, I enjoy a good fight.

01:14:04.000 Can you get better at casting?

01:14:07.000 No shit.

01:14:09.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:14:10.000 Thanks for calling.

01:14:10.000 All right, man.

01:14:11.000 We're going to look at points.

01:14:14.000 My jewelry's getting all fucked up.

01:14:15.000 Let's look at your chick. 1.00

01:14:16.000 Here's your tranny. 0.95

01:14:17.000 You know, I got to admit, I'm kind of wary of getting a boner.

01:14:21.000 Ever since that video that said Gal Goodell is a dude. 0.96

01:14:21.000 Yes. 0.96

01:14:25.000 All the female, like, I don't want to sit here going, dude. 1.00

01:14:28.000 I want to fucking marry her.

01:14:29.000 That one looks like a dude.

01:14:30.000 And then it comes back to me.

01:14:32.000 That looks like the Legozamo and Tuang Fu. 0.97

01:14:35.000 Yeah, she's a little too masculine, I'm afraid.

01:14:38.000 Look at how long the arms are.

01:14:39.000 I'm seeing it now.

01:14:40.000 That video that you saw.

01:14:43.000 Dude.

01:14:44.000 But some my problem with like undercover trannies is there's not one person from their junior high that's gonna go I actually went to school with Brian Godot but she might be because they're from a different country This is actually the problem with trans. 1.00

01:14:59.000 Masculine women are ruined now because everyone assumes they're trans. 1.00

01:15:05.000 It used to be the farthest thing from your mind.

01:15:07.000 So a masculine woman, like a woman with broad shoulders, could still get a man. 1.00

01:15:11.000 Now you see one with broad shoulders and you're like, dude.

01:15:14.000 Dude, dude, that's like totally a dude.

01:15:18.000 Oh my God, I spelt trouble wrong.

01:15:25.000 T-I-R. 0.99

01:15:28.000 Terrubble.

01:15:29.000 Get in Terrble.

01:15:30.000 Hey, get in a Terubble.

01:15:34.000 I feel like a town.

01:15:36.000 I feel like Gatta Rubble.

01:15:39.000 Ghost.

01:15:41.000 This person says ghost.

01:15:42.000 This is spooky.

01:15:43.000 Can we do a ghost show?

01:15:44.000 Let's do a ghost show.

01:15:46.000 Yeah.

01:15:46.000 For that time that I'm not here and you're doing a show by yourself.

01:15:52.000 Hey, first question I had was, you know, you're into grammar and all that sort of stuff.

01:15:58.000 And, you know, you like the Oxford comment, which I agree with.

01:16:01.000 My question is, I'm from one of the last generation that actually used a real typewriter.

01:16:08.000 Ryan probably doesn't know what that is.

01:16:10.000 And a rotary phone.

01:16:10.000 Yes, I do, Stupid.

01:16:13.000 They always taught us to do two spaces to start a new sentence.

01:16:17.000 So period, two spaces.

01:16:19.000 Correct.

01:16:20.000 But now, people laugh at you when you do two spaces.

01:16:24.000 They want you to do one space now.

01:16:25.000 Yeah, they should laugh at you.

01:16:26.000 I laugh at you.

01:16:28.000 Why?

01:16:29.000 Because you're not on a fucking typewriter anymore.

01:16:34.000 But it looks better.

01:16:35.000 It looks better.

01:16:36.000 No, it doesn't.

01:16:37.000 It looks like a retard who thinks he's on a typewriter. 1.00

01:16:40.000 Computers naturally increase the space after a period.

01:16:44.000 By you adding a space, you look like someone who doesn't know they're on a computer.

01:16:50.000 Well, does it change with the fonts?

01:16:51.000 Like if you use Courier, does it look more like a typewriter?

01:16:54.000 Maybe a tenth of a millionth of one pube. 0.98

01:16:57.000 Stop adding two spaces.

01:16:59.000 You look like a total fucking amateur.

01:17:02.000 The only time it's allowed is in legal documents.

01:17:06.000 And even that pisses me off.

01:17:10.000 All right.

01:17:10.000 Well, look, my original question was, have you ever had a weird ghost experience?

01:17:15.000 I've never heard you talk about anything like that.

01:17:17.000 Nice.

01:17:19.000 I don't believe in ghosts, but I will admit, my friend Marcus lives in Perth.

01:17:23.000 He's in a 100-year-old home, which in my neighborhood is not a big deal, but in Canada is literally a heritage home.

01:17:30.000 Like the government will help pay for it.

01:17:32.000 It's so fucking rare because Canada is so new.

01:17:35.000 And we were stripping it down and rebuilding it, and there was a lot of weird shit going on.

01:17:42.000 A lot of it has since been explained.

01:17:43.000 For example, in the walls, we found a dog collar with spikes sticking out of it about this long.

01:17:51.000 We also found a little baby's shoe in the walls.

01:17:56.000 So that had me freaked out.

01:17:58.000 And then I was stripping off This part of the thing by the door, ripping down the drywall, whatever.

01:18:04.000 And there was a painting of a man with like a hat, you couldn't see his face, holding his daughter's hand.

01:18:11.000 It wasn't a very well-done painting.

01:18:13.000 And I swear to God, I thought I heard, Leave Me Be.

01:18:19.000 And I ran out of that house into, but he lived in the country, so I ran into a scarier zone. 0.97

01:18:26.000 Now I'm in the fucking woods pooping my pants.

01:18:29.000 That was the only time I fell for any of that shit.

01:18:32.000 But in retrospect, they, sorry, what am I doing here?

01:18:38.000 In retrospect, the Irish immigrants used to put baby shoes in the wall so the baby, in case the kids got lost, they always knew where to come home.

01:18:49.000 It was a superstition.

01:18:51.000 And as far as the dogs, it was European dogs and weren't used to predators like wolves and coyotes.

01:18:57.000 So the dogs would have dog collars with huge spikes on them.

01:19:00.000 So if they got bit, it would hurt the predator.

01:19:04.000 So I guess, no, I don't believe in ghosts.

01:19:07.000 Did you fucking meet Casper on a friendly walk?

01:19:07.000 What about you?

01:19:12.000 I had kind of a spooky experience once where I was just in like a marketplace, and I had this weird vision that I was going to bump into like a celebrity, not a celebrity, but a sports figure.

01:19:25.000 And then I turned the corner of this, you know, right in the marketplace, and I ran smack dab into this person.

01:19:34.000 Who was it?

01:19:35.000 And it was really, it was a crazy.

01:19:38.000 Doug Fluti, he was a quarterback for college in Boston.

01:19:44.000 He also played at Toronto Argonauts in the Canadian Football League.

01:19:48.000 That is possibly the least scary thing I've ever heard in my life.

01:19:52.000 That wasn't meant to be scary.

01:19:53.000 I have a feeling I'll be able to sleep tonight.

01:19:58.000 All right, we'll fuck with their heels. 0.92

01:20:00.000 Doug Flu.

01:20:04.000 Sir, I'm sorry I called you an idiot.

01:20:06.000 I realized by your dating yourself with the typewriter stuff, I'm speaking to an elder disrespectfully, and I apologize.

01:20:11.000 Yes.

01:20:12.000 Good luck with COVID, you geriatric.

01:20:16.000 All right, next call.

01:20:17.000 That's spooky.

01:20:18.000 Hey, sorry, Discord.

01:20:20.000 Pretty lonely in here, huh?

01:20:21.000 Guys, I'm sorry.

01:20:22.000 I took two calls.

01:20:23.000 Now you're at the Discord.

01:20:24.000 You guys got two.

01:20:25.000 How dare you?

01:20:26.000 All right.

01:20:27.000 Well, next up, we got Mikey.

01:20:30.000 Mikey! 0.65

01:20:31.000 Mikey! 0.65

01:20:33.000 Mike! 0.69

01:20:36.000 Dude, you have to make your ringtone Mike!

01:20:43.000 Mikey! 0.65

01:20:46.000 Hello?

01:20:46.000 Hey, my brother-in-law's name, Mike, and I told him he has to make his ringtone that, and he responded with nothing.

01:20:53.000 Sure, what's going on here?

01:20:54.000 That sticks.

01:20:55.000 Can you not hear us?

01:20:57.000 Hello?

01:20:59.000 Hello?

01:21:00.000 Hello, you big galute.

01:21:02.000 Hello, I'm masturbating.

01:21:04.000 I'm nude.

01:21:07.000 Hello?

01:21:08.000 Hello?

01:21:10.000 This is hurting the Discord.

01:21:11.000 We're going to be more less likely to take Discord calls.

01:21:16.000 I know, what the fuck.

01:21:17.000 Colin, go ahead.

01:21:19.000 Yep, I'm I don't hear anybody on my end.

01:21:22.000 This is again Gavin from Colin.

01:21:24.000 Hey, man.

01:21:27.000 Alright, Layley, go ahead.

01:21:29.000 Hey, Gavin.

01:21:30.000 Hey, Ryan.

01:21:31.000 Hello, where are you finding up from?

01:21:34.000 Colin, finding up from New Zealand again.

01:21:36.000 Guess Vet Bon, I see.

01:21:41.000 What?

01:21:42.000 I thought you were Quebecois.

01:21:44.000 No, you're making fun of my accent again.

01:21:46.000 It's not fair.

01:21:48.000 Okay, what is it again?

01:21:49.000 New Zealand.

01:21:52.000 No, you can't do that one either.

01:21:54.000 It's South African.

01:21:56.000 South African.

01:21:57.000 South African fucking Sikifa. 0.96

01:21:59.000 Oh, Yara.

01:22:02.000 You know what I was thinking about South African chick today?

01:22:04.000 Elon Musk is making my mother again.

01:22:13.000 He's a great guest.

01:22:14.000 But he's a fucking South African, right? 0.85

01:22:18.000 Yeah.

01:22:19.000 How about zero mention of the slaughter of white farmers from all these fucking elitist South Africans?

01:22:26.000 Like, just mention it once, please.

01:22:28.000 Same with Dave Matthews.

01:22:30.000 He's on Howard Stern, and he's talking about how racist apartheid was and how horrible it was.

01:22:35.000 Not one mention of the slaughter of his own people.

01:22:40.000 Like, can you imagine some Zulu or some Hulu getting on a talk show and not using it to promote the death of his people? 0.99

01:22:48.000 It's fucking infuriating.

01:22:50.000 It is.

01:22:51.000 It is.

01:22:52.000 You're about the only person who talks about it and JC Lee Peterson and Lauren, but she's kind of off air a little bit.

01:23:00.000 It just, it amazes me.

01:23:03.000 And it kind of like, if you're a South African and you don't talk about that or at least mention it when you're on the fucking The View, then you're dead to me. 1.00

01:23:11.000 Fuck you.

01:23:14.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:23:15.000 I make sure everybody at the pub knows whenever I can get to the pub.

01:23:18.000 I tell them the whole history.

01:23:20.000 Well, you know my trick, right?

01:23:23.000 Yeah.

01:23:25.000 You make it about puppies.

01:23:27.000 And then when you've garnered it on the sympathy, say, oh, wait a minute, I mispronounced the white people.

01:23:38.000 I am so taking that one on.

01:23:40.000 I'll perfect it.

01:23:41.000 Thank you.

01:23:41.000 Thank you, Master.

01:23:42.000 They boil puppies alive.

01:23:44.000 They kill a dog by putting a power drill into it.

01:23:48.000 They'll rape and kill the bitch and all the puppies in front of the male dog so the male dog kills himself later. 1.00

01:23:59.000 Yeah.

01:24:00.000 So this is a fun topic.

01:24:00.000 All right.

01:24:01.000 Anyway, what's up?

01:24:05.000 I was phoning up because we've got that painting for Justice.

01:24:11.000 Uh-huh.

01:24:13.000 And we've got the auction link.

01:24:14.000 I've emailed it to you several times now, but not sure if you got it.

01:24:19.000 Oh, yeah, we got it.

01:24:20.000 We're moving forward.

01:24:22.000 It's kind of hard to set up an auction site.

01:24:26.000 But yeah, we have an offer for $2,000 for the Painting, and we'll put it up on auction and see if anyone beats that.

01:24:34.000 They got it.

01:24:34.000 Oh, here's the site.

01:24:35.000 Oh, you got it.

01:24:36.000 Well, the link that I sent you that is a full-on auction site.

01:24:39.000 Oh, I'm sitting here telling an artist to do something, and you've already done it.

01:24:43.000 You've done it, yes.

01:24:44.000 Charity auctions today/slash painting for liberty.

01:24:48.000 That's it.

01:24:50.000 Okay, great.

01:24:51.000 Let's get it going.

01:24:52.000 I'll email you.

01:24:53.000 You're getting inquiries over here.

01:24:55.000 I'll send that link to the guy who pledged 2K, and he can pledge 2K on that, and then we'll see if anyone beats it.

01:25:02.000 Which I definitely think.

01:25:03.000 Listen, that sounds perfect.

01:25:04.000 Thank you.

01:25:05.000 Bye.

01:25:06.000 Yamasapus.

01:25:07.000 All right, bye.

01:25:08.000 Bye, Yamasapus.

01:25:09.000 Stop insulting my mother.

01:25:12.000 Are you calling her mother a silly?

01:25:14.000 Oh, sorry about that.

01:25:14.000 We didn't know what we were saying.

01:25:16.000 I know.

01:25:18.000 It's mint with love.

01:25:19.000 Yarra.

01:25:22.000 Okay.

01:25:26.000 All right, yeah, all right.

01:25:27.000 Come on now.

01:25:29.000 Come on, now. 0.87

01:25:31.000 Ew.

01:25:33.000 Perfect, thank you.

01:25:36.000 Hola.

01:25:37.000 Hola.

01:25:38.000 Hola, Gavini Ryan, como estas mercones.

01:25:43.000 What are you doing, man?

01:25:43.000 Get to us.

01:25:44.000 Why are you lying to me?

01:25:47.000 All right.

01:25:48.000 I'm calling because I wanted to talk to you guys about TikTok.

01:25:51.000 It's something I don't think you've really talked about too much.

01:25:54.000 No, man.

01:25:54.000 We don't know about TikTok because we see little girls on the Instagram.

01:25:57.000 Oh, you got to learn about the TikTok, man.

01:26:00.000 Everyone's dancing.

01:26:01.000 They're like dancing to a song.

01:26:03.000 It does seem like we want to do it.

01:26:06.000 No, I mean, that's what I was going to say, though.

01:26:08.000 Like, a weird thing that's going on in our culture right now.

01:26:12.000 You get all these teenage girls dancing to TikTok, and they dance the same songs over and over again.

01:26:19.000 And millions of people watch it.

01:26:21.000 It's just crippling vanity.

01:26:23.000 The fucking vanity going on with my daughter's generation is shocking. 0.94

01:26:30.000 Yeah, it's crazy.

01:26:33.000 But nevertheless, there's this one chick on it called Addison Rae. 1.00

01:26:38.000 And you should look her up right now because there's something really weird about this chick.

01:26:44.000 Is she a hottie, this Madison Ray?

01:26:47.000 Yeah, no, Addison Ray, but it's weird because there's something a little bit off about her.

01:26:52.000 I don't know if it's just like she's a little bit choked.

01:26:54.000 She's the only kind of chicks we're doing from now on. 1.00

01:26:56.000 They have to be a little bit weird.

01:26:58.000 Normal Beauty is banned from censored.tv.

01:27:01.000 It's literally censored.

01:27:03.000 She's five years old, though.

01:27:05.000 No, she's 19, bro.

01:27:07.000 I think.

01:27:07.000 I'm 49.

01:27:09.000 If I fuck a 19-year-old, God rips my dick off and stuffs it in my eye socket.

01:27:15.000 You can still have an opinion, though.

01:27:16.000 You can still have an opinion.

01:27:18.000 Okay, well, my opinion is going to be, what a lovely young lady. 1.00

01:27:21.000 I wish her nothing but the best.

01:27:24.000 Let's get Ryan's opinion.

01:27:27.000 I tend not to just default on lust when looking at females. 1.00

01:27:31.000 I have a lot of self-control, and I think it's for my own good, my own value, my own worth.

01:27:35.000 That's a very attractive child.

01:27:36.000 I learned this whole thing.

01:27:37.000 What do I need to give you, like a week to figure this out, and then you'll come back to me or something?

01:27:41.000 Well, no, she's gorgeous, but too young. 1.00

01:27:44.000 I mean, I don't really care.

01:27:45.000 Too young.

01:27:48.000 Well, that's whack.

01:27:49.000 Anyway, you guys should do a little bit more stuff on TikTok.

01:27:52.000 I think Gavin would have a good take on it.

01:27:54.000 The thing about TikTok I think is interesting is that FBI people that work for the government aren't allowed to have TikTok on their phones.

01:28:02.000 Even people that are in the family of somebody who worked for the government agencies aren't allowed to have TikTok because they are so invasive with the rights and the information that they get from your phone and your networks and everything like that.

01:28:12.000 Ryan's dropping science.

01:28:14.000 It's a whole nother side.

01:28:15.000 So it's owned by Chinese.

01:28:16.000 It's owned by China.

01:28:18.000 It's banned from a lot of government security institutions.

01:28:22.000 Yeah, no one in the military is allowed to have it either.

01:28:25.000 Yeah, it's creepy as hell.

01:28:26.000 So that's creepy.

01:28:27.000 And then also, you know.

01:28:28.000 It's not creepy.

01:28:28.000 It's just China fucking taking our shit.

01:28:32.000 Being an asshole?

01:28:33.000 China being an asshole. 1.00

01:28:34.000 China is an asshole. 1.00

01:28:36.000 Yeah.

01:28:37.000 Thanks for calling, dude.

01:28:38.000 Let's go.

01:28:38.000 Let's fucking get through these.

01:28:40.000 All right, we're going to go back to the calls for a second.

01:28:42.000 Yeah, the thing I learned just from commuting to the city a long time, you have to put up your barriers.

01:28:47.000 You can't just be staring at chicks all the time.

01:28:48.000 And it just got old.

01:28:51.000 Well, what I do with staring at chicks when I'm in the city is I go, could this woman be a movie star and a successful supermodel? 1.00

01:28:59.000 And if the answer is yes, well then yeah, duh.

01:29:01.000 Right.

01:29:02.000 It's too easy.

01:29:02.000 Of course you're staring at her.

01:29:04.000 What the fuck?

01:29:04.000 It takes away a piece of you.

01:29:05.000 You're also scared of fighting Mike Tyson.

01:29:07.000 Like, that's not interesting.

01:29:08.000 And I feel like it lessens my value because does that girl even have a job? 1.00

01:29:11.000 Is she just some loser who looks good? 1.00

01:29:13.000 Like, fuck you.

01:29:14.000 I got stuff to do.

01:29:15.000 Whoa.

01:29:16.000 Whoa.

01:29:17.000 We got to call her Evan or Evan.

01:29:19.000 Are you drinking whiskey?

01:29:20.000 You sound like someone who can't break down the enzymes.

01:29:22.000 I'm drinking nothing.

01:29:24.000 Sober as hail.

01:29:27.000 Ethan?

01:29:29.000 What's up, Edith?

01:29:29.000 Mikey!

01:29:31.000 Mikey! 0.65

01:29:32.000 You're causing a scene.

01:29:35.000 Come on, man.

01:29:37.000 Mikey! 0.65

01:29:39.000 I was just calling about, just to kind of expand upon some of the racist shit that you had on earlier.

01:29:48.000 I just want to start off.

01:29:49.000 I'm a blue-collar dude.

01:29:50.000 I do line work.

01:29:51.000 I'm a lineman.

01:29:55.000 I was just going to say, it's nuts to me how all these people, you know, like the mainstream media is pushing all this bullshit.

01:30:02.000 And then, like, you know, I work out in the city.

01:30:05.000 I'm around people like all day.

01:30:07.000 And I just, us regular people, we don't have freaking time for racism.

01:30:13.000 Like, we're all just fucking working and like trying to live our fucking lives.

01:30:16.000 Like, I work with people from all different backgrounds and races.

01:30:21.000 And I just, I don't see any of them ever.

01:30:24.000 Yeah, it'd be funny to like go up to a construction site and ask them about the hegemony and the patriarchy.

01:30:30.000 And do you think that fucking Trump's new thing is racist and blah, blah, blah.

01:30:37.000 Like they wouldn't even know what you're talking about.

01:30:39.000 They'd go, what's a hegemony?

01:30:41.000 We learned all these stupid words in college that I've never used in the real world.

01:30:48.000 Yeah, it's just, it's funny to me because we talk about it at work.

01:30:54.000 And, you know, like I said, you know, I'm talking to different people, different customers and stuff every day.

01:30:59.000 And I've never Once experienced it.

01:31:01.000 I've never once seen it between two other people.

01:31:03.000 It's just wild, man, how they're just trying to turn us all against each other, and it's just fucking ridiculous.

01:31:09.000 Yeah, it never comes up in the real world, which is why education is getting less and less valuable because you're not learning stuff that's used on earth.

01:31:18.000 You know, Max Hare, who's in prison now for being a racist, he, proud boy guy, he had a thing at his job on the railroad where you would get into an argument about something and then you'd have to go to the fight room to solve it.

01:31:34.000 So he was in there fighting with black dudes about stuff that was like politics or whatever, not politics, but like a disagreement.

01:31:42.000 And, you know, that's something that all of these pussies, they'll never experience that. 1.00

01:31:47.000 They'll never get that close to a black person or a discussion with a black person.

01:31:53.000 And he's the bad guy.

01:31:56.000 It's absurd.

01:31:57.000 Right.

01:31:58.000 Yeah, man.

01:31:58.000 That's, I mean, I got a couple of guys that are the black dudes that I work with, and we fuck with each other constantly about, you know, I get called names, you know, I asked my buddy today that I work with, I said, dude, how are you so black, but your hands are so white?

01:32:12.000 That doesn't make any fucking sense.

01:32:14.000 Yeah.

01:32:14.000 And I bet he laughed.

01:32:16.000 No, yeah.

01:32:17.000 Yeah.

01:32:17.000 Everybody laughs.

01:32:18.000 It's just a fucking joke.

01:32:20.000 Like, it's, I don't know.

01:32:21.000 But yeah, I mean, I just had to get that off my chest.

01:32:24.000 All right, dude, thanks for calling.

01:32:26.000 It's a fucking joke.

01:32:28.000 It's a joke.

01:32:29.000 Sal.

01:32:30.000 I'm just here.

01:32:32.000 Please, it's a fucking joke.

01:32:35.000 All right.

01:32:36.000 We got one more call from the call section.

01:32:38.000 James.

01:32:39.000 James, you're needing some advice, and you're online.

01:32:44.000 Hey, you Gavin, big fan.

01:32:46.000 Ryan, wanted to tell you that I think you're awesome, and all your impressions are spot on.

01:32:54.000 Much better than anything you'd see on Saturday Night Live.

01:32:57.000 But I wanted to say that earlier when you got off on Sebastian Maniscalco, I expected you to really go and you gave the microphone back in like five seconds.

01:33:05.000 That sucks.

01:33:07.000 Yeah, you're right, Carla.

01:33:09.000 And you know what?

01:33:10.000 Just pause.

01:33:11.000 Oh, we have the doodle cameras, the other camera.

01:33:14.000 Well, I'll get up now.

01:33:16.000 Ryan is really sorry that he blew his Sebastian Maniscalco impersonation.

01:33:21.000 He's really good at Sebastian Maniscalco.

01:33:23.000 So he's going to be coming over here to my area and doing a much better Maniscalco.

01:33:31.000 Hell yeah.

01:33:36.000 What's the matter with you?

01:33:37.000 Like at the gym?

01:33:44.000 Oh no.

01:33:45.000 I knocked down Alfred Newman.

01:33:48.000 You stare star.

01:33:51.000 Oh, I don't know another bit.

01:33:53.000 Just make up a bit.

01:33:55.000 Okay.

01:33:56.000 You ever sit there?

01:33:58.000 You're writing your check.

01:34:00.000 You're like, let me really get in there.

01:34:04.000 Yeah, that's good.

01:34:05.000 Why'd you look up at me?

01:34:07.000 I don't like it.

01:34:08.000 I don't like to do things.

01:34:09.000 I'm pathetic.

01:34:10.000 I don't think...

01:34:15.000 Is that okay, Dad?

01:34:17.000 I'm sweating.

01:34:18.000 Did I do a good job, Daddy?

01:34:19.000 I'm literally sweating.

01:34:21.000 I remember I used to do the Mr. Boombastic from Shaggy when I was 10.

01:34:27.000 And then my parents gathered the whole family around, and they're like, do it.

01:34:31.000 And I just stood there and I started crying.

01:34:33.000 Yeah, that's what just happened.

01:34:34.000 All right, next caller.

01:34:36.000 I beg for attention.

01:34:37.000 Pathetic, just pathetic.

01:34:38.000 When I get attention, I finally, I just don't want it anymore.

01:34:41.000 We got the Discord.

01:34:44.000 Hey, guys.

01:34:46.000 What's up?

01:34:47.000 All right.

01:34:47.000 Casey, you ready?

01:34:49.000 Yep.

01:34:50.000 Another case?

01:34:51.000 Go ahead.

01:34:51.000 Oh, did you...

01:34:55.000 Did you?

01:34:56.000 I did, but I got another shot at coming on, so I took it.

01:34:59.000 Oh, man.

01:35:00.000 Okay.

01:35:00.000 Hey, Discord, don't give people two chances.

01:35:04.000 We're not like Obama.

01:35:05.000 We don't think everyone should get a second chance.

01:35:08.000 Okay.

01:35:10.000 I mean, you're here, so go ahead.

01:35:11.000 So what's up?

01:35:12.000 Well, I was just because I had the second chance, I was going to, it's no homework assignment because I know you guys hate that shit, but on YouTube, and maybe you've played it before, Dirty Harry on Feminism and Women's Quotas.

01:35:24.000 I'd love to hear you guys play that and just discuss it a bit.

01:35:27.000 Dirty Harry on what?

01:35:28.000 Women's Quotas? 1.00

01:35:29.000 Yeah, we're not.

01:35:30.000 If you just type in Dirty Harry Woman Cop, it's the first one.

01:35:33.000 And you don't have to do any homework on it or skip through it.

01:35:35.000 It's just a good clip.

01:35:37.000 Gotcha.

01:35:38.000 It coincides a lot with what Gavin talks about.

01:35:40.000 By the way, Casey, did you win twice?

01:35:45.000 I did.

01:35:45.000 You son of a bitch.

01:35:47.000 You greedy bastard.

01:35:49.000 Two calls.

01:35:49.000 Well, I got lucky last week.

01:35:51.000 I was the only person.

01:35:52.000 I don't know what.

01:35:52.000 No, that's not.

01:35:53.000 Discord, you got to get your shit together here.

01:35:56.000 he won once I sent you You won again?

01:36:02.000 Yeah.

01:36:02.000 Yeah, I just got.

01:36:04.000 Yeah.

01:36:04.000 Fucking case over there fucking not fucking.

01:36:07.000 Hey, I'm a big fan, guys.

01:36:08.000 You can't vouch for me for it.

01:36:09.000 Discord, you gotta have like a little sheet of paper where you write down the fucking names, eh?

01:36:15.000 Sorry to be here.

01:36:17.000 You're doing a good job.

01:36:19.000 I guess it's meritocracy.

01:36:20.000 Get it together.

01:36:21.000 Fuck.

01:36:21.000 This is like the McDonald's Monopoly thing there.

01:36:24.000 Yeah, goddamn it.

01:36:26.000 Casey, goddamn your socks.

01:36:28.000 Your cotton socks.

01:36:30.000 Bloody.

01:36:31.000 Yeah, I know.

01:36:32.000 God damn your cotton socks.

01:36:33.000 I'll have an extra pair to jerk off into.

01:36:35.000 True.

01:36:37.000 All right, we got another one from the diss yep.

01:36:41.000 All right, so next up, we're going to go to Pete.

01:36:44.000 Talking Pete.

01:36:46.000 Hello.

01:36:47.000 Hello.

01:36:48.000 Hello?

01:36:52.000 What's up, fuck?

01:36:54.000 Can you hear me?

01:36:55.000 Yeah, we can, fuck.

01:36:56.000 Can you hear us, Zisty?

01:36:59.000 Yeah, I can.

01:36:59.000 I wanted to ask about the Jacob Wool situation.

01:37:04.000 Okay.

01:37:05.000 So have you read, did you read the article that came out today about him in this Sauchy thing?

01:37:10.000 Yeah, what was it in?

01:37:12.000 It was on Reason.com.

01:37:14.000 I did indeed read that.

01:37:16.000 Can you mic yourself up a little bit?

01:37:18.000 Let's fucking let it pan out, eh?

01:37:22.000 Don't assume that everything is as simple as it seems.

01:37:28.000 Yeah.

01:37:29.000 I don't know.

01:37:30.000 I mean, they say they have a recording of him.

01:37:32.000 I mean, do you think is he like faking this whole thing?

01:37:35.000 Like, he said the recording to them?

01:37:38.000 I don't want to get that specific with the Perry project.

01:37:48.000 Let's just say Jacob Wall knows what he's doing and getting good at it, if you will.

01:37:54.000 And being good at it, if you will.

01:37:56.000 All right, I mean, I don't know.

01:37:58.000 We'll see.

01:38:00.000 Wait, is this Nate Orman or what's his name?

01:38:02.000 Ober.

01:38:03.000 Is that Nate Ober?

01:38:06.000 No.

01:38:06.000 Oh, guys.

01:38:09.000 It sounds like you're a manic out.

01:38:15.000 All right, we'll move on.

01:38:16.000 Next call.

01:38:17.000 Then we'll go over to call.

01:38:20.000 Sure.

01:38:21.000 The only one we got left ready to go right now is Mikey, but he was already calling.

01:38:26.000 Okay, then he's out.

01:38:27.000 Let's go back to normal calls.

01:38:28.000 All right, we'll be right back, guys.

01:38:29.000 By the way, Discord, you're looking bad.

01:38:31.000 We've had repeats.

01:38:34.000 Two repeats.

01:38:35.000 It might have been my fault because I didn't see the moderators text till now, so I didn't prep them to get ready.

01:38:40.000 But you should assume that we're going to go to you every Thursday, if that's what you guys are waiting for.

01:38:46.000 And okay.

01:38:48.000 We got 617 on the line.

01:38:52.000 Hey, what's up?

01:38:53.000 Hey, man.

01:38:55.000 So last week I called and we were talking about the Betty show on HBL.

01:39:00.000 The what show?

01:39:02.000 Betty called the Girl Skateboarders in New York.

01:39:04.000 Wait a minute.

01:39:05.000 When I was a kid, skatebetties were groupies for skaters.

01:39:11.000 Correct.

01:39:12.000 Okay.

01:39:12.000 So the reason I called is it turns out the show was written by your former protege, Leslie Arfin.

01:39:18.000 She wrote it?

01:39:21.000 Yeah.

01:39:21.000 Wow.

01:39:23.000 Now, I remember I bought her book for a friend and I read it, the one that you wrote with her.

01:39:29.000 That was 13 years ago, I guess.

01:39:32.000 So she wasn't a skateboarder, right?

01:39:35.000 No.

01:39:37.000 So would she, like, date them?

01:39:40.000 Like, wasn't she, like, a riot girl or something?

01:39:43.000 Yeah, that was more her Steeze, was Riot Girl stuff. 1.00

01:39:46.000 I mean, she was a junkie. 1.00

01:39:48.000 But I don't think you have to be a skateboarder to write a story about female skateboarders. 0.80

01:39:53.000 Wasn't it mostly that chick who did the wolf pack? 1.00

01:39:57.000 I think that's what happened.

01:39:59.000 The chick who did the wolf pack, I forget her name. 1.00

01:40:03.000 She's actually weirdly hot in a... 1.00

01:40:06.000 She's actually the ideal chick for this show in that she's not a standard beauty, That's her name. 1.00

01:40:14.000 Crystal Wolfpack?

01:40:15.000 The show isn't half bad.

01:40:16.000 It's very much like the movie Kids.

01:40:18.000 Yeah.

01:40:19.000 Well, that's the culture of Crystal and Leslie. 0.99

01:40:22.000 That's what brought Crystal and Leslie to New York, probably, was that shows.

01:40:29.000 Kids was an amazing movie, but the whole AIDS thing was just ridiculous. 1.00

01:40:33.000 That ruined it.

01:40:34.000 That ruined it for me.

01:40:36.000 Exactly.

01:40:37.000 So this one, what ruins it is they frame the entire girl skateboarder thing as they're constantly being harassed and dismissed by males, which just is not true.

01:40:50.000 That's so not fucking true.

01:40:53.000 So the crux of it in the first episode is that they have a key to get into a warehouse that has a skate park someplace in the city, and they aren't allowed in because the guy at the door he can tell that they got the key from someone else.

01:41:11.000 So I know you like to do that bright bar thing where you reverse the roles.

01:41:15.000 What if five teenage boys wanted to go to like a figure skating practice and just bust in?

01:41:22.000 Like you wouldn't be allowed in, right?

01:41:24.000 Because it's a private thing, liability, et cetera.

01:41:28.000 It's reasonable.

01:41:29.000 So like, why should a bunch of strange underage girls be allowed into a private skate park in New York City? 1.00

01:41:36.000 So are they painted as a picture?

01:41:38.000 Are they making it sexist that they can't get into an illegal park?

01:41:43.000 Yeah.

01:41:44.000 And like, they don't really say how old the girls are.

01:41:47.000 They could be teenagers or they could be like kind of college age, but you just wouldn't let a bunch of like little girls in to like a private skate park. 1.00

01:41:57.000 It makes no sense.

01:41:58.000 Well, yeah, you're worried about liability and stuff.

01:42:00.000 I remember when my eldest boy was about seven, he was into skateboarding.

01:42:06.000 So we'd go to skate parks where there was guys who were like 20.

01:42:10.000 And, you know, they finally got smoking and stuff.

01:42:14.000 Yeah, they finally got some time to skate and they were excited to get to the park.

01:42:17.000 And there's some little seven-year-old who's not very good at it, hogging the ramp and just going up and back down again and stuff.

01:42:24.000 No one fucking gave a shit.

01:42:26.000 No one gave him any hassle.

01:42:28.000 They remembered being kids themselves.

01:42:30.000 That's never a big deal.

01:42:32.000 No one cares.

01:42:33.000 It's like a meritocracy and like, you know, who's good and who isn't, but no one vibes you if you fall, which is like a point that they make in the show, like the girl falls on a quarter pipe or something.

01:42:44.000 Like never, first of all, never in my life in skateboarding did I really see girls at the skate park unless they were betties. 0.89

01:42:52.000 And second of all, when someone falls, no one vibes you.

01:42:55.000 No, because it's so fucking hard.

01:42:59.000 It's one of the hardest things in the world to do.

01:43:02.000 So if someone shows up there and is trying, it's basically as hard as, you know, those ski jumpers who will go like a city block and the skis are up like this?

01:43:12.000 It's that fucking hard.

01:43:13.000 No one's going to see some chick doing that, whatever it's called, long jumping, and go, what the fuck are bitches doing here? 1.00

01:43:23.000 I hate when girls try to do a long ski jump. 1.00

01:43:27.000 And now I think she's affiliated with Chet Appentau, too, because she wrote for girls and stuff.

01:43:32.000 She and her husband, her husband is close with...

01:43:37.000 Yeah.

01:43:39.000 So it just seems to me that she walked into this, and I guess it was a pre-existing movie that the show was a spin-off.

01:43:46.000 She just walked in and said, like, oh, well, men must hate women. 1.00

01:43:50.000 So that's how we're going to paint this whole show.

01:43:53.000 Like, she doesn't know.

01:43:54.000 She has no idea.

01:43:55.000 I haven't talked to her yet about this.

01:43:57.000 I talked to her surprisingly regularly, But I didn't even know she had done this.

01:44:03.000 But it's possible that they're like, look, here's the gig, bitch. 1.00

01:44:07.000 It's a skate movie.

01:44:09.000 There's got to be a lot of sexism. 0.99

01:44:11.000 So your job is to write about how they get kicked out of this store and that store, and everyone hates them for skateboarding.

01:44:18.000 And she's like, all right.

01:44:18.000 So get to work.

01:44:21.000 Otherwise, the show would be fine.

01:44:22.000 Like, it's a fairly reasonable kind of like hangout, skate, New York City, whatever.

01:44:27.000 It's just like kids, but in the modern day.

01:44:30.000 But like, it's almost as if someone swooped in and just, as you said, just told them, no, we're going to make this serious.

01:44:39.000 Like, no, why can't they just be skateboarders?

01:44:42.000 It's misandry and racism at the end of the day, where white males have to be shitheads for your show to work.

01:44:53.000 I know you're.

01:44:54.000 White males are sweeties, has been my experience.

01:44:59.000 And skaters, especially, are just like, look, we know this sport involves breaking your ankle.

01:45:05.000 If you want to get involved, all the power to you.

01:45:08.000 I remember hanging out at Max Fish with skateboard chicks.

01:45:12.000 There was like two, both lesbians, and everyone adored them. 1.00

01:45:18.000 Jamie Reyes and Alexis Labon or whatever.

01:45:21.000 That is pretty much the same.

01:45:22.000 Those are the two girls from New York.

01:45:24.000 And remember rookie skateboards?

01:45:24.000 Yeah.

01:45:26.000 The chick. 0.98

01:45:28.000 Everyone fucking loved rookie skateboards.

01:45:32.000 No one went, fuck rookie, man. 0.83

01:45:34.000 That's a chick brand. 1.00

01:45:37.000 Yeah, so I mean, they took a perfectly decent show and ruined it, in my opinion.

01:45:41.000 You're right, sir.

01:45:42.000 Politics ruins everything.

01:45:43.000 Thank you for calling.

01:45:45.000 It's a bummer.

01:45:48.000 Now, here's a question.

01:45:49.000 You're a comedy writer.

01:45:51.000 You haven't had a gig since love.

01:45:54.000 You get a call, and it's a girl skate thing.

01:45:57.000 This is perfect for your career, right?

01:46:00.000 Because you're a New Yorker and you did hang out in that scene.

01:46:03.000 So it's perfect for you.

01:46:05.000 And then you're reading a script and there's like a lot of chicks being kicked out of skate parks and stuff. 1.00

01:46:13.000 Do you stop and say, I'm out?

01:46:17.000 Or do you go, eh?

01:46:19.000 Okay, I guess I'll write a thing where a bunch of sexists say, get out of here. 1.00

01:46:26.000 I don't know.

01:46:27.000 I know what I would do.

01:46:28.000 I would say, fuck you, but I've been fired from every job I've ever had.

01:46:32.000 But if you're a girl and you're trying to get a career going, maybe that's the problem with women in the workforce. 1.00

01:46:41.000 A fucking woman, boss. 1.00

01:46:48.000 Next caller.

01:46:48.000 I'll eat your ass.

01:46:50.000 I will eat your ass. 1.00

01:46:53.000 I feel like emailing Rex and saying, dude, you know when we laugh at Alex for saying, I'll eat your ass, we fucking love Alex, right?

01:47:03.000 And we got a lot of.

01:47:04.000 I will eat your ass! 1.00

01:47:09.000 We got Doug.

01:47:12.000 Hey, Doug.

01:47:14.000 Hey, Ryan.

01:47:15.000 Hey, Gavin.

01:47:16.000 You like your wife's new anal beads? 1.00

01:47:21.000 I don't like my wife being referenced in a sexual way, but that was so funny, I couldn't avoid it.

01:47:26.000 We bypassed your security.

01:47:31.000 So I know you're from Canada, and I don't think I've heard you ever mention hockey.

01:47:36.000 I just want to know, are you a fan of hockey?

01:47:40.000 Do you have a team?

01:47:43.000 The Habs are my team, but I don't know.

01:47:48.000 As an immigrant, I didn't really latch on to it much outside of road hockey in front of our house.

01:47:54.000 And as a sort of snobby punk, I didn't really get into sports until my kids got into baseball and I chose the Mets, which I regret.

01:48:04.000 The problem with growing up punk is you become this pop culture snob.

01:48:08.000 And I got into Bruce Springsteen about three years ago.

01:48:11.000 I heard of the Rolling Stones like five years ago.

01:48:14.000 And it's such a waste to be a fucking pop culture snob because you miss out on really cool shit like hockey.

01:48:24.000 So no, I didn't really grow up with teams in hockey.

01:48:28.000 I know the Hams, they have a really cool opening ceremonies for their first game of the year.

01:48:37.000 I don't know.

01:48:38.000 Have you ever seen that?

01:48:39.000 No.

01:48:41.000 Yeah, check that out.

01:48:41.000 It's pretty cool.

01:48:42.000 It's all in French, so you'll appreciate that.

01:48:46.000 So is Maurice LaRocket Richard?

01:48:50.000 Remember that remember the Guilla Tourneau, that story of the Toronto Mepalifs jersey that he got?

01:49:02.000 You ever seen that?

01:49:02.000 You know that thing?

01:49:05.000 I don't.

01:49:06.000 All right.

01:49:06.000 Thanks for calling.

01:49:07.000 We're going to show it.

01:49:08.000 Look up Guilla Tourneau. 0.53

01:49:09.000 So Guy is G-U-Y. 0.97

01:49:12.000 Latourneau.

01:49:13.000 L-E-T-O-U-R-N-E-A-U. 1.00

01:49:17.000 Latourneau.

01:49:18.000 All right.

01:49:19.000 And I think Latourneau is all one word.

01:49:22.000 But there's a story about a French kid.

01:49:24.000 He wants a...

01:49:27.000 No, no.

01:49:28.000 Just a cartoon.

01:49:31.000 He wants...

01:49:32.000 Wait, what did you...

01:49:37.000 Just do Guilla Tourneau Toronto Maple Leafs, I guess.

01:49:40.000 There we go.

01:49:43.000 The Toronto Maple Leaves.

01:49:45.000 Isn't it Leaves?

01:49:47.000 See if you can see a cartoon.

01:49:49.000 No, no, it's not Leaves.

01:49:51.000 What the fuck?

01:49:52.000 I'm saying the Toronto Maple Leaves spell their name wrong.

01:49:55.000 That is bogus.

01:49:57.000 See if you can see a cartoon there.

01:49:59.000 What the fuck?

01:50:00.000 Oh, I guess we're in Canada and America.

01:50:03.000 The Toronto Maple Leaves.

01:50:05.000 Anyway, I could look for it while we take this call here.

01:50:07.000 There's a funny story about a French kid getting a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey, which was unthinkable.

01:50:12.000 Jeff.

01:50:16.000 Hey, guys, Kimmy?

01:50:17.000 Oh, yeah.

01:50:19.000 All right.

01:50:20.000 So I was calling you about something else, but I wanted to slightly disagree with your point about starting sentences with But I find that however it gets too repetitive, I don't like saying the same word over and over.

01:50:39.000 And you can use it in like a punchy way.

01:50:42.000 Yeah, you're right, dude.

01:50:43.000 But it's like starting a sentence with and.

01:50:47.000 It can be done.

01:50:48.000 It can be grammatically correct, but it should be frowned upon.

01:50:52.000 I see it as like a semicolon.

01:50:55.000 There are times when you will use it, but it's like once a year.

01:51:02.000 Yeah, yeah, I agree with that.

01:51:04.000 And I was arguing with a dude the other day.

01:51:06.000 I was like, I want to start, there are some grammatical mistakes I'm going to start making.

01:51:10.000 Like, and it might be because of texting, but for example, Sean Lennon has a lot of musical instruments at his house.

01:51:23.000 And then the next sentence has to be, he has drums, a keyboard, a recording studio.

01:51:29.000 I don't want to fucking say he has.

01:51:32.000 You know what I'm talking about.

01:51:34.000 So I want to break the rules and say Sean Lennon has a lot of instruments at his house, period.

01:51:38.000 Next sentence, drums, keyboards, blah, blah, blah.

01:51:42.000 And the next sentence is a list.

01:51:44.000 That doesn't have a verb, but fuck you. 0.80

01:51:49.000 Yeah.

01:51:50.000 And the ending sentences with pronouns thing, everyone does that.

01:51:55.000 It sounds ridiculous when you don't do it.

01:51:57.000 I had a boss who used to, who was so dedicated to that rule that instead of saying, you know, I never had a scarf to begin with, he would say, I never had a scarf with which to begin.

01:52:08.000 And it sounded ridiculous.

01:52:09.000 Yeah, that's gay. 0.93

01:52:12.000 So yeah, we can break some rules, but yeah, but, but is a bad habit.

01:52:19.000 And like, I've been listening to these kids in my neighborhood now talk on the phone.

01:52:26.000 Fucking Jesus.

01:52:27.000 By the way, I hope having a checkbook on the thing isn't going to get us hacked.

01:52:33.000 But Jesus Lord, they say like a lot.

01:52:37.000 Yeah.

01:52:38.000 Yeah, they do.

01:52:39.000 It's filler.

01:52:42.000 Hard times to break, but you just gotta focus on not saying that word specifically.

01:52:50.000 And I do it sometimes too.

01:52:51.000 I know.

01:52:52.000 I'm like, I have to say like all the time.

01:52:54.000 I'm like, why am I saying that?

01:52:55.000 Okay, I got a piss.

01:52:56.000 Next call.

01:52:58.000 All right, we're going back to the Discord.

01:53:00.000 We're going, going back to Discord.

01:53:03.000 Discord.

01:53:04.000 Yep.

01:53:05.000 All right, Benzinator, are you ready? 0.97

01:53:07.000 Yeah, I'm ready.

01:53:08.000 Go ahead.

01:53:11.000 I can hear him.

01:53:12.000 I'm just pissing.

01:53:13.000 He can hear you, so go on now.

01:53:17.000 All right, well, if they can't hear us, you might want to prompt them to just say it.

01:53:22.000 Oh, yeah, no, but we're screening everyone.

01:53:24.000 Okay.

01:53:25.000 Get him in here.

01:53:25.000 I'm not sure what's going on.

01:53:26.000 Hey, Benzin, are you there?

01:53:28.000 Oh.

01:53:29.000 Yes, I'm here.

01:53:32.000 All right.

01:53:33.000 So I got your book, The Death of Cool.

01:53:35.000 Pretty funny.

01:53:36.000 Funny as hell.

01:53:37.000 But I was wondering about the HuffPo review.

01:53:40.000 How did you end up getting that?

01:53:42.000 And have any of these fat, feminist tons tried to take away their review they gave you? 1.00

01:53:47.000 I don't know.

01:53:48.000 Is it good?

01:53:50.000 It's pretty damn good.

01:53:51.000 The one with it's too weird with the hookers in the car. 1.00

01:53:54.000 That was funny as shit.

01:53:56.000 No, no, I mean, thank you.

01:53:57.000 But the HuffPo review.

01:54:00.000 What does the HuffPo review say?

01:54:02.000 Insanely hilarious.

01:54:06.000 Oh, hold on.

01:54:07.000 It's on the cover.

01:54:08.000 It's on the review.

01:54:08.000 Oh, it's on the cover.

01:54:09.000 Hello?

01:54:10.000 Hi.

01:54:11.000 Hi.

01:54:12.000 You want to say you're on the air?

01:54:13.000 What are you doing?

01:54:14.000 My show.

01:54:16.000 I'm so fucking boring.

01:54:17.000 Okay.

01:54:23.000 Troubles in Paradise.

01:54:25.000 Oh, I'm sorry, honey.

01:54:26.000 You're live.

01:54:27.000 I'm recording a live show.

01:54:30.000 Dude, fucking call Mikey.

01:54:34.000 Come on, sir.

01:54:35.000 I can't take it.

01:54:38.000 Okay, well, I could stop recording my show and head over there.

01:54:42.000 Can we just put on a Motley Crew record and do a shot at Tequila?

01:54:45.000 I want to kill myself.

01:54:46.000 This is poor.

01:54:47.000 What's the point of indicating that?

01:54:48.000 Honey, I'm actually live on the show right now.

01:54:53.000 I'm happy to do a quote-unquote shot of Tequila and listen to this metal band you're speaking of.

01:54:58.000 I'm not familiar with.

01:54:59.000 Motley Crew.

01:55:02.000 Whatever.

01:55:03.000 Whenever you can come back, I can take it.

01:55:08.000 Okay.

01:55:12.000 Bye.

01:55:14.000 I am definitely getting laid tonight.

01:55:17.000 I'm so definitely getting laid that I want to stop drinking.

01:55:21.000 So it works?

01:55:22.000 Yeah, so I can like...

01:55:27.000 You know what I mean?

01:55:29.000 Sorry, what was your question, sir?

01:55:32.000 Yeah, the HuffPo review on your book, Huffington Post, gave you a good review.

01:55:36.000 I was not persona non grata back then.

01:55:39.000 That was 2010.

01:55:40.000 So it was pre-Trump, pre-Proud Boys, pre-fucking, Obama was in office.

01:55:46.000 We were the losers.

01:55:47.000 I was pitching comedy shows, making movies.

01:55:51.000 Everything was fine back then.

01:55:52.000 And Nikki Glazer had me on her podcast.

01:55:55.000 Nikki Glazer probably wouldn't look at me on the street right now. 1.00

01:55:58.000 And it's the same.

01:56:00.000 Jared Taylor wrote a book called Pave with Good Intentions that I want to put.

01:56:03.000 I'm going to compete with Milo with his reading list and do my own.

01:56:08.000 But Milo sent me these reviews of Jared Taylor's book, and it was like Washington Post and fucking New York Times and all these people saying how wonderful it is.

01:56:18.000 And now Jared Taylor's not allowed in the same state as you.

01:56:22.000 And it's weird how in 10 years the narrative will shift from, oh yeah, we got this funny guy who wrote this funny book.

01:56:29.000 And then 10 years later, oh, he's a Nazi. 0.70

01:56:32.000 He's this.

01:56:32.000 He's that.

01:56:33.000 How do they get off from going from that one narrative, changing it all the way to the other?

01:56:38.000 Well, they just say that the guy changed.

01:56:40.000 And then to that, you say, okay, can I have some evidence?

01:56:43.000 Like, can you show me the guy saying that like feminism rocks in 2010 and then saying feminists are boring in 2020?

01:56:53.000 There's none of that.

01:56:54.000 It's the background that changes.

01:56:58.000 I see that.

01:56:58.000 The narrative has been Shifted so hard to the left.

01:57:02.000 It's getting crazier and crazier every day.

01:57:04.000 Another one.

01:57:05.000 All right.

01:57:06.000 Thanks for calling, dude.

01:57:07.000 Hey, Discord, do you have another one?

01:57:11.000 Yeah, we got more.

01:57:12.000 All right, here's one more, then we'll go back to the call.

01:57:16.000 All right, Vesh, you are up.

01:57:18.000 Okay.

01:57:19.000 Hey, Gavin.

01:57:20.000 Hey, Ryan.

01:57:20.000 Hey, man.

01:57:22.000 Hey, I just had a question about fundraising and things like that for products.

01:57:28.000 If you had a product or an idea in this day and age and you weren't already wealthy, would you bother with any of the venture capitalist firms these days?

01:57:37.000 Or would you try to bootstrap it about as far as you could?

01:57:40.000 Well, you should always bootstrap everything as far as you possibly can.

01:57:43.000 And that will lead to more investment, too.

01:57:46.000 People don't want to sit down with you and go, I have an idea.

01:57:49.000 It's a chain of cupcake stores.

01:57:51.000 They want to see that you've been doing it from your garage for a while, and then they want to see that you have your own cupcake store.

01:57:58.000 But what kind of product are we talking about loosely?

01:58:01.000 I know you guys are so scared.

01:58:02.000 We're going to steal your idea.

01:58:04.000 Oh, no, no, no.

01:58:08.000 We had this app for OCD that we ended up having to search high and low for Capital for, and we found it in Chicago.

01:58:16.000 So none of us could stay together in San Antonio.

01:58:20.000 Half the crew had to go to Chicago to kind of finish it.

01:58:25.000 So it's been through like a couple of Series A rounds and went all right.

01:58:29.000 But now that I've got a little more, I would rather not have to seek fundraising.

01:58:38.000 I have a bunch of my own security software and RF software.

01:58:43.000 And I said, okay, well, what do I want to do with a bunch of this stuff?

01:58:46.000 Do I go for another VC type thing?

01:58:50.000 Or do I sit here with the group of guys that I got and try to bootstrap it about as far as I can?

01:58:56.000 Well, it depends who you are as a person.

01:59:01.000 Do you have any energy for marketing, for fundraising, for that kind of stuff?

01:59:05.000 I don't.

01:59:06.000 So usually when I start a company, there'll be a marketing guy, a big picture guy, and I go, can you just fucking do this?

01:59:12.000 I'll give you more content than you can ever handle, but I just, I can't do the marketing thing.

01:59:18.000 If you have any inclination to do marketing, then you should do it yourself.

01:59:24.000 You know, every brand needs a hipster, a hacker, and a hustler.

01:59:29.000 I'm the hipster.

01:59:31.000 I guess Ryan's the hacker in this case, which is depressing.

01:59:35.000 And I have a guy that's a hustler.

01:59:39.000 If you can take up any of that slack, then do it yourself.

01:59:43.000 Obviously, you want maximum equity of your own company.

01:59:47.000 Right.

01:59:48.000 Yeah, so when, yeah, and the product that was, that actually went, because, you know, you have 10 things that you do and nine of them fail, and then you got one that goes well.

01:59:57.000 So, but for us, it was a no CD, NO CD.

02:00:02.000 That was the app.

02:00:03.000 There it is.

02:00:04.000 So I saw you looking it up.

02:00:06.000 Yeah, I was their first CTO, COO, you know, fucker.

02:00:11.000 You tricked me into advertising this.

02:00:13.000 No, no, you didn't ask me to pull it up.

02:00:15.000 No, no, I don't work.

02:00:16.000 I don't work for that.

02:00:18.000 I just have my shares.

02:00:20.000 I work for me now.

02:00:21.000 I don't do that anymore.

02:00:22.000 Well, anyway, the answer to your question is, obviously, you want as little venture capital as possible.

02:00:27.000 You want to retain your equity for as long as possible, but don't exhaust yourself.

02:00:31.000 Like, I'm amazed at how many people say no to buyers.

02:00:36.000 I always just say yes.

02:00:37.000 There was this guy, what the fuck was the name of the company?

02:00:41.000 It was like Super Freak or something back in 2000.

02:00:45.000 And they had a t-shirt company.

02:00:46.000 It was called Super Sucker or Super Freak, something like that.

02:00:49.000 And they go, some Japanese company wants to buy the name.

02:00:53.000 And I go, well, fucking sell it.

02:00:55.000 What is it?

02:00:56.000 It's just a name you came up with and you did a bunch of t-shirts.

02:00:58.000 That's the easiest thing in the world.

02:01:01.000 And he goes, well, they only want 100 grand.

02:01:04.000 That's going to be 50K for me, 50K for my partner.

02:01:06.000 Then after tax, it'll be like 30.

02:01:08.000 I go, who cares?

02:01:10.000 Sub-freaky.

02:01:12.000 Holy shit, I can't remember.

02:01:13.000 I can't believe I remembered that.

02:01:15.000 And I said, just fucking sell it, dude.

02:01:18.000 If you're gifted and you're good at selling shit, then sell another one.

02:01:24.000 I mean, start up a new thing.

02:01:26.000 Like, if you're selling a restaurant and you're a brilliant guy at selling restaurants, then you'll just make a new restaurant.

02:01:32.000 It's sub-freaky IE.

02:01:34.000 Ah.

02:01:35.000 Anyway, that's my answer to your question, sir.

02:01:38.000 Yeah.

02:01:39.000 Don't exhaust yourself, but hold on for as long as you can.

02:01:43.000 Not a lot's coming up from this.

02:01:44.000 Yeah.

02:01:45.000 Well, it was 2000.

02:01:46.000 It was 20 years ago.

02:01:47.000 Shit, man.

02:01:48.000 Is it in the top 200 t-shirts?

02:01:52.000 Sub-freaky, yeah.

02:01:54.000 The best 100 t-shirts of 2000.

02:01:57.000 I think he just ended up not fucking getting any money.

02:02:04.000 What does that mean?

02:02:06.000 Like, just say yes.

02:02:06.000 I remember Curtis, the guy had a restaurant with.

02:02:09.000 Someone wanted to buy his restaurant for 80 grand.

02:02:11.000 And it was a taco truck.

02:02:13.000 And he goes, dude, if we have two good years, we'll make 80 grand.

02:02:18.000 And I go, yeah, that's two good years.

02:02:20.000 That's not likely with taco trucks.

02:02:22.000 So fucking sell it.

02:02:24.000 And if you're really good at business and restaurants, then you'll come up with another idea and you'll sell that.

02:02:31.000 It's like being a painter.

02:02:33.000 You made it a good painting.

02:02:34.000 Sell it and you'll make another good painting.

02:02:37.000 Then I proceeded to lose fucking 10 grand on that fucking restaurant.

02:02:41.000 We got this Cardinal, Cartoon.

02:02:44.000 Oh yeah.

02:02:47.000 This is seminal Canadian content, eh?

02:02:53.000 This poor, poor guy.

02:02:54.000 Guilla Tourneau, we all had to read him.

02:02:57.000 French author.

02:02:58.000 He's so mediocre.

02:03:00.000 And he hated English people.

02:03:02.000 The girl.

02:03:03.000 We miss you.

02:03:04.000 In a small village in Quebec, two events were mandatory.

02:03:09.000 The mass on Sunday and the Saturday night hockey game.

02:03:14.000 Look at affirmative action in a country.

02:03:18.000 This is the CBC paying for the animation.

02:03:27.000 So go forward.

02:03:28.000 He begs his parents for a hockey jersey and they give him he wants obviously the Monchaux Canadien.

02:03:34.000 Les Abs. 0.95

02:03:36.000 And his mother gets him the Taranto Mepa Life.

02:03:41.000 There it is.

02:03:42.000 Show him open.

02:03:46.000 That's something funny, too, about Canadian culture that Americans don't get.

02:03:52.000 Nor should they, but just pause.

02:03:56.000 In Canada, it's all about language.

02:03:58.000 And the Quebecois hate us.

02:04:01.000 So for a Quebecois kid to get a Toronto hockey jersey was just like, that's like Black Lives Matter shirt for the Klan. 0.88

02:04:10.000 So when I immigrated here in 99 and I see that they don't care about language, I go, this is awesome.

02:04:16.000 We're finally done that stupid debate.

02:04:18.000 And then they go, no, it's race here, though.

02:04:20.000 What?

02:04:21.000 Race?

02:04:23.000 Anyway, look at what it's like for a French kid to get an English jersey.

02:04:26.000 The sweater, Mr. Eton had sent the blue of the Toronto Maple Leaves.

02:04:35.000 Toronto Maple Leaves.

02:04:36.000 I always worn the red, white, and blue sweater of the Montreal Canadia.

02:04:41.000 All my friends wore the red drawn by a retard. 1.00

02:04:45.000 And besides, the Toronto team was always being beaten by the Canadia.

02:04:51.000 With tears in my eyes, I sounded science to say.

02:04:55.000 You know what I just realized?

02:04:57.000 After seeing this 1,000 times and having to study it in class for some fucking reason, I think he's lying.

02:05:04.000 There's no way the Le Tourneaux would not know that you don't buy a French kid a Toronto Mapolis jersey.

02:05:12.000 And then making him wear it?

02:05:14.000 This is a fucking lie.

02:05:16.000 This seminal piece of Canadian history is a fucking lie.

02:05:21.000 He knew it would get him a grant and he could go on the CBC and they would make an animated bullshit version of it.

02:05:28.000 You're a fucking liar, La Tourneau. 0.98

02:05:30.000 It's a G damn fable. 0.92

02:05:32.000 I trust too many people as I was a young man, but as you get older, you start thinking about all the things they say, Lo, and you start going, wait a minute, you are lying.

02:05:43.000 Is that him?

02:05:44.000 Like Derek Beckles, and he told me his mother almost died in World Trade, and we were crying for her on 9-11.

02:05:52.000 And then maybe 10 years later, I said to myself, wait, you left the building to go do photocopies?

02:06:01.000 Is that guy Later?

02:06:02.000 No.

02:06:03.000 Yeah, you're lying.

02:06:04.000 All right, we got what?

02:06:05.000 Is that him?

02:06:06.000 No.

02:06:06.000 Let's do one more call and we're done.

02:06:08.000 I don't care.

02:06:10.000 We got Kara.

02:06:15.000 Kara.

02:06:18.000 Better be talking about something we care about.

02:06:22.000 Yo! 1.00

02:06:23.000 Hey! 0.99

02:06:24.000 Hey! 0.99

02:06:25.000 Hey, Koa, not Kara, you fag. 1.00

02:06:28.000 I'm sorry, girl name.

02:06:29.000 JK.

02:06:31.000 Anyways, I got a question for Gavin.

02:06:35.000 Hey, I just broke up with my chick recently, and it's kind of because she's getting all my shit about a little bump of Coke here and there.

02:06:44.000 Motherfucker. 0.99

02:06:46.000 How does your wife treat you? 1.00

02:06:48.000 Dude, if I came back with a bag of Coke right now with three kids, my wife would go, what are you, what are you? 1.00

02:06:56.000 Okay, I mean, maybe I'll do one little toot, but this is ridiculous.

02:07:01.000 You're way too old to be bringing this home for crap.

02:07:06.000 She's not fun. 1.00

02:07:07.000 Fuck her. 1.00

02:07:11.000 Okay.

02:07:12.000 What?

02:07:13.000 I got another question.

02:07:14.000 When you're laying in bed and you go, you need a fart and then you open your antelips to fart.

02:07:19.000 What if it smells really bad?

02:07:21.000 She's asleep.

02:07:23.000 It's not going to smell bad enough to wake her up.

02:07:27.000 Sometimes it does.

02:07:28.000 Well, that's at least better than a trumpet before it reeks.

02:07:34.000 All right, dude.

02:07:34.000 Thanks for calling.

02:07:36.000 Thank you, Rob.

02:07:37.000 Guys, this has been a blast.

02:07:40.000 And I would like to end the show by saying, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - May 08, 2020

GOML LIVE #46 - BOURBON & SOCKS

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