Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML LIVE #55 - ATHEISM IS UNSTOPPABLE

00:00:19.000 You don't agree with you, mama.

00:00:23.000 She will never let your spirits down Once you get her off the street Ow girl She likes the boys in the band She says that I'm her all time favorite When I make my move to her room it's the right time She's never hiding please Homeboys get my like...

00:00:45.000 I did it That girl is pretty wild now Girls are super freak Mikey! 1.00

00:00:49.000 Read about Wave magazines That girl is pretty kinky Girls are super freak I really love to chase her Every time That's true She's alright She's alright That girl's alright With me Ain't nobody got time for that Yeah He he he I am beyond angry Mmm 1.00

00:01:17.000 Yo, we fucking partying out here.

00:01:20.000 Totally, dude.

00:01:21.000 We are fucking partying, dude.

00:01:24.000 Now that we're off YouTubes, we can play whatever songs we wizant.

00:01:30.000 But before we do, can we just have a brief moment to thank Johnny Apple CBD?

00:01:35.000 This episode is not an episode, it's an episode because you've watched it on your app.

00:01:41.000 And it's brought to you by Johnny Apple CBD, CBD for Patriots.

00:01:45.000 Right now, my listeners get 20% off all Johnny Apple CBD products.

00:01:50.000 Use promo code Gavin.

00:01:51.000 Go to jacbd.com.

00:01:55.000 Support patriot-owned business.

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00:02:02.000 Promo code Gavin.

00:02:03.000 20% off all orders.

00:02:04.000 We've got the gummies to mellow you out.

00:02:06.000 We've got the tinctures to take the edge off your coffee.

00:02:09.000 We've got the stem vaporizer.

00:02:11.000 Vape the CBD.

00:02:13.000 We've got the topicals for your sore muscles.

00:02:16.000 We've got the groovy cookies that totally mellow you up.

00:02:19.000 None of the fucking THC shit.

00:02:21.000 You don't get stoned, but you get all the good stuff of the drugs.

00:02:27.000 It's the drugs without the drugs.

00:02:28.000 It's pot without the drugs.

00:02:33.000 Got pet stuff too.

00:02:34.000 So I had a very, very busy day today, and I just got here now.

00:02:37.000 My son was at a baseball game.

00:02:39.000 Had to watch that.

00:02:41.000 I was looking at some property.

00:02:43.000 Had to do that whole inspection.

00:02:47.000 You know, buying property, you'd be surprised when you spend a lot of money at the fucking nitpicking that goes on.

00:02:56.000 People are too much of the indecence. 0.54

00:03:00.000 Like when I bought the house I'm in now.

00:03:01.000 It's too much of indecence.

00:03:03.000 It had a big fireplace and it had a, I didn't get a chance to primp and print.

00:03:10.000 Look at that.

00:03:11.000 It's a don't today.

00:03:13.000 It's a hair don't.

00:03:16.000 But like we got this house many years ago and it had a big fireplace in the living room.

00:03:22.000 A very wide one.

00:03:23.000 It's a 100-year-old house.

00:03:25.000 So it had this great sort of a gate, you know, like the thingama doodle that stops the doohickeys from shooting out onto the carpet. 0.55

00:03:33.000 The majiggers. 1.00

00:03:34.000 The fence gate thingamadoodle.

00:03:36.000 And the what's it who's it's the guard monger.

00:03:39.000 And they go, hey, so that fits the fireplace perfectly.

00:03:44.000 I've spent millions of dollars on this house, by the way.

00:03:47.000 And as they're moving up, they're just like, you know what, just give us like a few hundred bucks for it.

00:03:51.000 It's an antique, so whatever, we'll sell it to you.

00:03:52.000 Like, don't worry about it.

00:03:54.000 What?

00:03:56.000 Why don't you just fucking leave it there?

00:03:57.000 Thank you very much.

00:03:59.000 Oh, also, our dining room table fits the room perfectly, and we don't really have room for it, so we could sell that to you.

00:04:04.000 Sorry.

00:04:06.000 Sell that to me?

00:04:08.000 The price of that is within about 1%.

00:04:12.000 Actually, much less than 1%.

00:04:14.000 You know what?

00:04:15.000 I'm going to do the fucking math.

00:04:16.000 Uh...

00:04:23.000 Equals X over 100.

00:04:25.000 Uh-huh.

00:04:27.000 Equals 2.

00:04:29.000 X. X equals 7.

00:04:31.000 0, 0, 0.

00:04:36.000 And that's, sorry, so that's 70, 0, 0.

00:04:38.000 That's 2.

00:04:41.000 Oh my god, zero.

00:04:43.000 This is really cool.

00:04:46.000 Hello?

00:04:48.000 Kill those zeros. 1.00

00:04:49.000 Kill that zero. 0.98

00:04:53.000 This is way smaller, folks.

00:04:56.000 Way small than I thought.

00:04:57.000 You ready for this?

00:04:58.000 Come on, man!

00:04:59.000 Mikey! 0.65

00:05:06.000 Wait a minute.

00:05:07.000 I didn't get rid of all the zeros.

00:05:09.000 It's so weird that I didn't.

00:05:14.000 And in some ways, they're geniuses.

00:05:18.000 It's 0.2% of the sale price.

00:05:25.000 So maybe let it go, my friend.

00:05:27.000 Maybe let it fucking go.

00:05:31.000 Just like the 4th of July I was talking about the other night where the dad was scared of the fireworks, so we went in the pool.

00:05:37.000 You know, poor people have it so much better than us.

00:05:41.000 When I talk to people of color and the working classes about their July 4ths in a place like New York City where fireworks are illegal, dude, welders have competitions, rivalries, where they weld their own cannons. 0.53

00:05:59.000 Boo! 0.83

00:06:01.000 Like way better than the cities.

00:06:03.000 Those things, those cat, corack, cat, cat things. 1.00

00:06:06.000 They roll those down the entire street.

00:06:09.000 Two streets.

00:06:09.000 So two streets are going, and What are we doing?

00:06:21.000 One guy's in the pool shivering as something goes, and you know what that is?

00:06:29.000 That's a thing Called Mexicans. 1.00

00:06:33.000 That was not rich white people going, fuck the rules.

00:06:38.000 That was illegal aliens and legal aliens going, What are you talking about? 0.83

00:06:43.000 Excuse me.

00:06:44.000 I ain't going to bull fireworks.

00:06:46.000 These are big days.

00:06:48.000 Like, they probably didn't even hear about the thing.

00:06:52.000 How many immigrants, Mexicans, how many Mexicans in America, here's a good kid, don't know who Trump is?

00:07:03.000 That's a great question.

00:07:04.000 Back when liberals would speak to me, Jason Jones and I would play this game, Samantha B's husband, and his thing was like, how many Americans do you think don't know who Obama is?

00:07:14.000 His number was crazy.

00:07:16.000 It was like 10,000.

00:07:18.000 40 or 45, I guess.

00:07:19.000 That's more than that.

00:07:21.000 More than 45. 0.66

00:07:22.000 Because there's got to be a lot of unilingual Mexicans who barely know that they're in a different country, like old ladies and stuff. 1.00

00:07:28.000 That's what I was going to say.

00:07:28.000 So the parameters, by the way, are 17 years old to infinity, as long as they have their wits, right?

00:07:38.000 Like you can talk to them.

00:07:40.000 Yeah.

00:07:41.000 Are we counting invalids? 0.99

00:07:43.000 Well, yeah, you can be paralyzed and know who the president is.

00:07:46.000 Do you know what the word invalid means?

00:07:48.000 No, I thought it meant like stupid and incapable of doing that.

00:07:50.000 No, that's you.

00:07:51.000 That's Ryan.

00:07:52.000 That's why I've been called that before.

00:07:57.000 Yeah, obviously not like vegetables and retards and stuff. 1.00

00:08:00.000 That's cheating.

00:08:03.000 Think of it as the symbols.

00:08:04.000 Think of it as a scale of one to 10.

00:08:06.000 So if you're eligible for a what are you out of 10, then you also were asking you, who knows the president, we're asking Mexicans specifically.

00:08:14.000 I'm going to say.

00:08:15.000 And then again, burn victims aren't counted in the 1 to 10.

00:08:18.000 So some of the complaints will be lies.

00:08:23.000 Okay, well.

00:08:24.000 You got to make that a drop, didn't you?

00:08:26.000 I thought so.

00:08:29.000 Why didn't you?

00:08:30.000 I could do it now while you did.

00:08:31.000 We found it.

00:08:32.000 I know what happened.

00:08:33.000 We found it.

00:08:34.000 It was your command.

00:08:35.000 It was on your to-do list.

00:08:36.000 And your to-do list is like dust in the wind.

00:08:41.000 And it just blows away.

00:08:43.000 Some complaints.

00:08:44.000 Some complaints will be false.

00:08:48.000 I believe he says.

00:08:52.000 When I have a sip, you have a sip.

00:08:52.000 We're giving you a break.

00:08:57.000 I'd say 17,000 people don't know who Trump is.

00:09:01.000 In America, obviously.

00:09:03.000 Brian, that's insane.

00:09:05.000 That's a lot or a little?

00:09:07.000 Way too high, dude.

00:09:08.000 Really?

00:09:09.000 I was focusing on Mexicans for mine, and I still, no, we're not doing that.

00:09:14.000 I said one to 10.

00:09:16.000 We're going 17, whenever's legal to bone, right up to, are you senile?

00:09:24.000 So this is not mathematical.

00:09:29.000 This is a vibe.

00:09:30.000 It might end up coming out racist if I'm wrong, right?

00:09:32.000 If I say it's like a million and it's three, that's a racist math.

00:09:37.000 That's a racist math.

00:09:42.000 What I love about these kind of quizzes, it's like the Rubik's Cube thing.

00:09:46.000 When I said, would you rather do two months in prison or you can get out as soon as you solve a Rubik's Cube?

00:09:53.000 And everyone I say that to goes, Rubik's Cube for sure.

00:09:56.000 Really?

00:09:57.000 I just, I want that to be true.

00:09:58.000 And I want to come visit you three years in as you're like, look at the yellow and the red and then the green's fucking gone.

00:10:07.000 I would do that.

00:10:07.000 take the two months.

00:10:13.000 Oh, I got a call.

00:10:18.000 Hello?

00:10:19.000 Hello?

00:10:22.000 Yes?

00:10:23.000 Who is?

00:10:26.000 Oh.

00:10:27.000 Dude, you clearly watched the show.

00:10:29.000 You know I'm doing the show right now.

00:10:33.000 And being good at it, if you will.

00:10:35.000 You were not good at it, if you will.

00:10:37.000 I guess he didn't know we switched times.

00:10:40.000 It was Maddie Odell.

00:10:42.000 You can go check out the free speech with him where we discuss his days with the Hell's Angels and the somewhat acrimonious split they had.

00:10:55.000 Which there's no need to get into.

00:10:56.000 Do you like my look, by the way?

00:10:58.000 So I have to wear this when we go to parents' games because there's some uptight moms who are freaked out by it. 1.00

00:11:06.000 But when you have two pieces of flare, like a USA fanny pack.

00:11:12.000 Oh boy.

00:11:13.000 That's what it's like having a dick as big as mine.

00:11:16.000 When your dick is as big as mine and you see a ledge at waist level, you go, you look around, you go, oh, thank God.

00:11:22.000 And you just pick up your junk and lay it on the corner there just to get a breath.

00:11:26.000 It's like my 650-pound dick life.

00:11:28.000 Yeah.

00:11:29.000 And I'm just like, I do a narration.

00:11:31.000 When I wake up in the morning, it's so painful.

00:11:34.000 I go to the bathroom and I turn my...

00:11:39.000 It's always like, then when I was 12, my parents became divorced and I turned to food.

00:11:46.000 I would stay at my grandmother's house and she would let us eat whatever we wanted.

00:11:51.000 And then, much later than that, my brother lost his shoes.

00:11:56.000 It was hard on both of us because I cared about him and he loved his shoes.

00:12:00.000 So I turned to food.

00:12:01.000 They always say food wrong.

00:12:03.000 Feud.

00:12:03.000 Feed.

00:12:05.000 Like Padma Lakshmi on Top Chef.

00:12:08.000 You will win a subscription to Feed and Wine Magazine.

00:12:12.000 What the fuck is feed?

00:12:15.000 Family feed?

00:12:16.000 Family feed?

00:12:18.000 I turned to food.

00:12:20.000 Anyway, when you have two pieces of flare like this, right?

00:12:24.000 And something as standard as Chuck's, you have to stop your flaring and just wear a white tee.

00:12:31.000 Yeah.

00:12:32.000 Because I've got so much going on here.

00:12:34.000 I've also got the silly mustache and everything.

00:12:36.000 So there's a lot happening.

00:12:37.000 You can't have Pizza Brigade here.

00:12:40.000 Or where's the beef?

00:12:42.000 Wendy's.

00:12:43.000 It hurts to not wear those shirts, too.

00:12:45.000 It hurts a lot.

00:12:46.000 You just want to wear the Pizza Brigade shirt and the Where's the Beef shirt?

00:12:49.000 Or I just want to wear a shirt that's a perfect drawing of a vagina. 1.00

00:12:53.000 That'd be fun.

00:12:54.000 At the kids' game?

00:12:55.000 There's no way that's not political.

00:12:57.000 And then when people get mad, you just go, it's a beautiful, it's part of a human body.

00:13:03.000 You have a problem with the human body, misogynist.

00:13:06.000 Blades, the movie, realawakening.com.

00:13:10.000 This episode is brought to you by Johnny Apple CBD, but it's also brought to you by Blades, the movie from RealAwakening.com.

00:13:19.000 Check out the comedy Blades at realawakening.com.

00:13:22.000 And when we say real, we mean R-E-E-L, realawakening.com.

00:13:30.000 These guys support censored.tv, so we are showing them some love.

00:13:34.000 Realawakening.com.

00:13:36.000 Check out the movie Blizzades.

00:13:40.000 Whoa, good deke, man.

00:13:46.000 I had some okay lines at the gym today and some kind of bad ones.

00:13:50.000 Like he was calling me the mayor of Cupcakeville.

00:13:53.000 And I said, I'd rather live in fucking Cupcakeville than Mount Vernon.

00:13:58.000 And then that was good.

00:14:00.000 And they said, you a cupcake.

00:14:02.000 And I go, fucking right.

00:14:03.000 Come eat me, bitch, and you'll get diabetes and die. 1.00

00:14:06.000 Damn.

00:14:06.000 That was a really good one.

00:14:08.000 And then he followed me to the bathroom and he goes, who the fuck you think you talking to?

00:14:12.000 Meanwhile, he's drenched in sweat.

00:14:14.000 He's been working out.

00:14:15.000 He's lost 37 pounds in from June 1st till July 8th.

00:14:20.000 Holy smokes.

00:14:22.000 And I go, I'm talking to someone in the past tense.

00:14:25.000 Someone that was.

00:14:27.000 And I meant like, I'm going to kill you.

00:14:29.000 And then, but then I realized I'm calling him a has-been. 0.99

00:14:32.000 Oops.

00:14:33.000 So that wasn't fun.

00:14:34.000 And I go, I'm going to fucking knock you out.

00:14:35.000 I'm going to punch you so hard.

00:14:36.000 I'm going to send you back to 1986.

00:14:39.000 And he's like, what?

00:14:41.000 1986, I could kill anyone.

00:14:44.000 I was like, oh, yeah, that was the peak of your career.

00:14:46.000 It's not a good place to send you.

00:14:48.000 No, I'll die.

00:14:50.000 He's like, usually you can talk shit with the best of them, but that sucked.

00:14:57.000 So I apologize.

00:15:00.000 I felt ugly.

00:15:01.000 I felt gay.

00:15:07.000 It's so funny that he got away with that.

00:15:11.000 He said it as a pejorative.

00:15:12.000 He's like, turn the dice what you're going to get fucked with.

00:15:15.000 Like when Kelly Osborne says, who is going to clean your toilets, Mr. Trump?

00:15:20.000 And everyone went, what the fuck?

00:15:22.000 Are you saying that immigrants can only clean toilets?

00:15:26.000 And then she went, oh, fuck. 1.00

00:15:30.000 That do agree that the immigration problem is a problem and it does need to be addressed and it does need to be fixed.

00:15:37.000 But making those comments, those racists.

00:15:41.000 Look what happened on the view today with guest co-host Kelly Osborne.

00:15:45.000 There are a lot of Latinos here in this movie.

00:15:50.000 That the immigration problem is a problem and it does need to be addressed.

00:15:54.000 And it does need to be fixed.

00:15:56.000 I'm a Latina.

00:15:57.000 They didn't let her say it.

00:15:59.000 Yeah, there we go.

00:16:01.000 If you're Latino out of this country, then who is going to be cleaning your toilet, Donald Trump?

00:16:05.000 Oh, that's...

00:16:06.000 In the sense that...

00:16:10.000 In the sense that that's after Michael Richards, after he yelled, N-word, we don't say such words on this show.

00:16:18.000 Naggers, naggers! 1.00

00:16:20.000 And then exactly the same.

00:16:22.000 And his, in the sense that was, you see, words.

00:16:27.000 Oh, no, no.

00:16:28.000 Words have power.

00:16:30.000 They have an impact.

00:16:31.000 And I just said, too, that, well, one, twice, that is the end of my career.

00:16:36.000 That one was bad.

00:16:37.000 Not that, I don't think that ended his career.

00:16:39.000 What ended his career is typecasting?

00:16:41.000 Same with George Costanza.

00:16:43.000 What are we going to watch fucking Jason Alexander and You Got Mail?

00:16:47.000 He's done.

00:16:50.000 But how did Elaine escape that fate? 0.99

00:16:53.000 Fate.

00:16:53.000 Jesus.

00:16:54.000 She's a Dreyfus.

00:16:56.000 She's a fucking rich kid. 1.00

00:17:00.000 So because I don't have notes, we're just fucking winging it.

00:17:06.000 Her father collected some incredible things.

00:17:09.000 Just incredible art.

00:17:10.000 Actually, you know what I think I'll show?

00:17:13.000 We may have to switch to autofocus for this, but.

00:17:16.000 All right.

00:17:25.000 So Julia Louise Dreyfus' father, fuck the police is his boss.

00:17:30.000 Oh, I got to talk about the fucking Outpost, dude.

00:17:34.000 I'm writing that down.

00:17:35.000 We'll get to that.

00:17:36.000 Her father was an art collector, which means nothing.

00:17:41.000 Art collector is not a talent.

00:17:43.000 If you work in finance and you're rich, you're a babysitter for other people's money.

00:17:47.000 We're not impressed.

00:17:48.000 You don't do anything dangerous that's going to risk the guy's entire portfolio.

00:17:52.000 You're just like, this seems to be a trend.

00:17:55.000 And if you're an art dealer, what do you do?

00:17:58.000 You go shopping and you buy a bunch of paintings you like and then you hold on to them and some of them do better and some of them do worse and maybe you get rid of the ones.

00:18:06.000 It's just the same as the stock market.

00:18:08.000 You're an art babysitter.

00:18:09.000 So I'm not impressed.

00:18:10.000 But he's seen as a hero.

00:18:12.000 And one of the great things he did was invest in this slave who did these beautiful, beautiful drawings that suck. 0.97

00:18:20.000 They look like they were done by a fucking seven-year-old.

00:18:23.000 And I'm being generous.

00:18:25.000 But because he was a slave, oh, it's so beautiful.

00:18:28.000 Like Basquiat, I'll give you a basket. 0.86

00:18:31.000 When I look at his art, I can tell that he's a good artist, even though it's very primitive.

00:18:35.000 But you can't just take that concept and apply it to every black person who can't draw and pretend it's magical. 0.98

00:18:42.000 Anyway, I was in North Fork last week, a week and a half ago, which is like the shitty Hamptons.

00:18:50.000 And the beaches are gross.

00:18:53.000 They are really pebbly and stuff.

00:18:55.000 It's not the nice side.

00:18:56.000 It's the shitty side.

00:18:57.000 But I know really cool people there.

00:18:59.000 So it's a very stimulating trip for me to go on, but I wouldn't recommend it.

00:19:05.000 And it can be really dangerous when you're off-season up there, which is weird because you're a gentle fart from the Hamptons.

00:19:12.000 Honestly, a 20-minute drive.

00:19:16.000 You got to show him.

00:19:19.000 Oh, my God.

00:19:20.000 That breaks my heart every time I see pictures of my kids when they're young because that guy's gone.

00:19:25.000 Someone took my baby away.

00:19:27.000 His legs.

00:19:28.000 I was looking at him the other day in bed.

00:19:29.000 His Legs are this long.

00:19:32.000 That's too long.

00:19:33.000 That's too long.

00:19:33.000 For a leg.

00:19:34.000 That's a child now.

00:19:36.000 That's a little kid.

00:19:37.000 It's a giant.

00:19:38.000 It's a child.

00:19:42.000 Breaking it down.

00:19:44.000 They get excited, right?

00:19:45.000 Because they don't know anything.

00:19:46.000 So when you go, what is that?

00:19:48.000 And they go, holy shit, I finally know something an adult doesn't know.

00:19:50.000 It's like, oh, that's a fat.

00:19:53.000 They come out of your butt.

00:19:54.000 It sounds like a burp.

00:19:55.000 You hadn't heard of those?

00:19:56.000 No.

00:19:57.000 Oh, yeah, I know all about them.

00:20:00.000 We're kind of even now because you told me a lot of stuff and now I'm telling you stuff.

00:20:03.000 So we're peers.

00:20:04.000 And it's not even kind of silly.

00:20:06.000 It's very serious.

00:20:06.000 Like, I'll help you.

00:20:07.000 I have the.

00:20:08.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, no, that's a fot. 0.87

00:20:09.000 It's a fat.

00:20:10.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:20:10.000 Oh, they happen all the time.

00:20:11.000 Oh, my God.

00:20:12.000 They happen all the time.

00:20:13.000 Lizards fart.

00:20:14.000 In fact, you'll be very hard pressed to find something that doesn't fat.

00:20:17.000 Man of War doesn't have an anus.

00:20:19.000 It doesn't fat.

00:20:20.000 Silly putty, if you tuck it into the container quickly, it'll fot.

00:20:23.000 It will make a fot sound.

00:20:24.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:20:25.000 It's not technically a fat.

00:20:28.000 You got the artist?

00:20:30.000 Yes.

00:20:30.000 This is Julia.

00:20:31.000 This is Elaine's dad.

00:20:33.000 He had the wherewithal to notice the incredible talent of this slave.

00:20:37.000 Oh, it's beautiful.

00:20:39.000 Anyway, so I'm at North Fork, and we're renting a condo up there.

00:20:44.000 And it's kind of trashy.

00:20:50.000 A lot of teenagers getting wasted in the pool.

00:20:54.000 But I don't buy the New York Times.

00:20:56.000 I look at it maybe once a year.

00:20:57.000 So it's sitting in there and I'm like, well, I'll pull it out.

00:21:01.000 Arts and leisure.

00:21:02.000 That's always interesting.

00:21:04.000 Just see what the yuppies are into these days.

00:21:07.000 This is kind of cool.

00:21:08.000 It's, what is it, a cutout of a quilt?

00:21:12.000 I can see the artistic merit in that.

00:21:15.000 Kind of.

00:21:16.000 Kinda.

00:21:19.000 What are you going to do here?

00:21:22.000 Use the other camera?

00:21:24.000 So, this is called radical quilting.

00:21:27.000 Dude, the New York Times is so fucking alt-left that it reads like an NY.

00:21:36.000 No, I'm stopping myself.

00:21:38.000 I think that an NYU paper, their local paper.

00:21:41.000 Oh, what's it called again?

00:21:44.000 I forget what it's called.

00:21:45.000 My alma mater's paper was called the Charlatan trickery.

00:21:51.000 But this is wrong, right?

00:21:53.000 Washington Square News?

00:21:54.000 Yes, it is.

00:21:55.000 Because it's across from Washington Square Park.

00:21:56.000 Penis Face.

00:21:57.000 Oh, I didn't know.

00:21:59.000 Oh, I knew it was, but yeah.

00:22:00.000 It's worse than Washington Square News.

00:22:04.000 So let me just take you through it.

00:22:06.000 All right.

00:22:07.000 This is not the Black Lives Matter edition.

00:22:10.000 This is not a special Juneteenth episode.

00:22:13.000 This was June 28th, way past Juneteenth.

00:22:17.000 I believe Juneteenth is June 19th when blacks got to vote.

00:22:22.000 So the first page is about this black woman who is, her quilts are so bad that it's kind of outside her art. 0.73

00:22:29.000 It's kind of like Daniel Johnson or Wesley Willis or the kids of Whitney Eye, really.

00:22:35.000 But let's just go through this, shall we?

00:22:36.000 Just a random pluck at what's going on with the lefties.

00:22:40.000 So we have inside culture from the archives, and they have something from 86 where some black students were working on some paintings, and the other white kids would recreate the silhouettes.

00:22:56.000 And they were working with Keith Haring.

00:22:58.000 So it was about...

00:23:05.000 What is your thing you're doing?

00:23:06.000 Okay, so actually that's a good idea.

00:23:08.000 So that's on auto?

00:23:09.000 Yeah.

00:23:10.000 Okay.

00:23:10.000 It's right here.

00:23:10.000 You can see the monitor right there.

00:23:12.000 Right.

00:23:12.000 So it's about civil rights.

00:23:14.000 We see some black kids doing paintings.

00:23:16.000 We see other kids getting involved.

00:23:17.000 And Keith Herring is trying to help the ghetto. 0.82

00:23:19.000 Okay, that's page one, we'll call it.

00:23:22.000 That's actually page two, because the first page.

00:23:25.000 Page three, Wynton Marsalis.

00:23:29.000 I have no problem with any of this news, by the way.

00:23:31.000 You're just going to notice an incredibly specific pattern.

00:23:35.000 Wynton Marsalis calling and responding.

00:23:38.000 In March, Wynton Marsalis, trumpeter and composer, went into lockdown thinking that what he might get done, but as leader of the jazz at the Lincoln Center, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:23:46.000 Jazz.

00:23:48.000 I want to fucking give everyone who likes jazz a lie detector test, even though lie detector tests aren't real.

00:23:53.000 So fuck that.

00:23:54.000 Heroin.

00:23:55.000 Shoot them up with heroin and just be like, everything's cool, man.

00:24:00.000 I know everything's cool.

00:24:01.000 I know everything is cool.

00:24:04.000 What do you think of jazz?

00:24:05.000 What do you mean?

00:24:06.000 Jazz.

00:24:07.000 Love it.

00:24:08.000 No.

00:24:09.000 What do you think of jazz?

00:24:10.000 It fucking sucks, dude.

00:24:12.000 Or he'd probably say, I love it.

00:24:14.000 Then you put it on.

00:24:14.000 He goes, take that off.

00:24:15.000 Take that off.

00:24:16.000 That's so shitty.

00:24:17.000 What a cacophony.

00:24:24.000 Come on.

00:24:27.000 It's like cigars and Vegemite.

00:24:30.000 No one really likes it.

00:24:31.000 I like cigars.

00:24:32.000 And then there's this.

00:24:34.000 Listening to the past is kind of perfect.

00:24:36.000 And when they talk about some history books to read, but of course the picture of the woman going through this classic literature is empowered woke black woman. 0.99

00:24:46.000 All right.

00:24:47.000 Not a big deal, by the way, what you make your cartoon.

00:24:50.000 It's only page three.

00:24:52.000 Page four.

00:24:55.000 Page four, you go, oh, this is kind of cool.

00:24:57.000 It's like a baseball musical?

00:25:02.000 I like baseball.

00:25:03.000 Oh, it's got that dude, Jesse Williams, who won't shut up about how oppressed black people are.

00:25:08.000 Of course, he's raised by his white mom and abandoned by his black dad, but he's all about how evil America is. 0.87

00:25:14.000 They're all homosexuals. 1.00

00:25:16.000 It's homosexual baseball. 0.95

00:25:19.000 Run, and the main guy's the black guy. 0.99

00:25:21.000 Okay.

00:25:21.000 All righty?

00:25:25.000 The singer, Janae Bridges, and the pianist, Connor Hannock, are stars, yet still freelance workers.

00:25:32.000 So these guys were creating this incredible work of like black female jazz singer and piano boy who's likely gay.

00:25:40.000 And it's all about COVID and how it's affected them.

00:25:43.000 But it's really just about their incredible art that they make together, this black and gay couple.

00:25:48.000 All right.

00:25:50.000 Page six, of course, Hamilton.

00:25:54.000 How Hamilton reached the small screen.

00:25:57.000 And they focus on every picture has Hispanic and black people.

00:26:01.000 And again, you sound like an asshole saying this because you're like, why are there so many black people in my newspaper?

00:26:05.000 It's not that.

00:26:06.000 It's that 14% of the population is 100% of this section.

00:26:10.000 And it's so clearly pandering.

00:26:14.000 That's what bothers us, is the relentless pandering.

00:26:18.000 Isn't that kind of the challenge, too?

00:26:20.000 It's like, let's just blast a ton of these, and you can't mention that pattern.

00:26:25.000 So it's like, it's a challenge.

00:26:26.000 I dare you to mention that these are all blacks. 1.00

00:26:29.000 Well, maybe the challenge is like, oh, you have a problem with that?

00:26:32.000 How about this one in 1968 when it was all white people?

00:26:35.000 It balances out.

00:26:37.000 Okay, so here you go.

00:26:38.000 Oh, there's a white woman. 1.00

00:26:39.000 Is this not going to be politically correct bandering?

00:26:42.000 Looking into a hunt for stolen lives, Liz Garbus adapts the bestseller on the Golden State Killer.

00:26:47.000 Now, of course, it's a chick who's doing a movie. 0.99

00:26:50.000 Golden State Killer was that cop who was a serial killer, and his sister did a DNA test.

00:26:59.000 I got this from Maddie, by the way.

00:27:00.000 Oh, yeah.

00:27:01.000 Just for a 23andMe, whatever thing.

00:27:04.000 And they go, holy shit, this looks like all the DNA and all those dead bodies.

00:27:07.000 And she was like, I didn't fucking do it.

00:27:09.000 Must be your brother.

00:27:11.000 That's interesting.

00:27:13.000 I don't give a shit that it's a woman behind it. 1.00

00:27:15.000 It's non-black. 1.00

00:27:17.000 And you chose it because it's a cool story.

00:27:20.000 Okay, that's one so far out of seven pages.

00:27:24.000 Okay, this is a doozy.

00:27:26.000 Pop smoke.

00:27:28.000 Pop smoke, the rapper, and his last days.

00:27:33.000 So a gangbanger gets whacked, right?

00:27:36.000 This guy didn't die of lung cancer.

00:27:39.000 And it's all about, oh, it's John Karamanica.

00:27:42.000 I hired him to be the head of hip-hop at Vice a billion years ago.

00:27:47.000 He's obsessed with black people, always writing about rap and R ⁇ B. And it's all about the incredible life of Pop Smoke and what a gentle giant he was and how he's totally underestimated.

00:27:59.000 And he's really just, it's so sad that he was taken from us by probably the KKK.

00:28:05.000 I believe they lynched him.

00:28:06.000 All right.

00:28:07.000 So finally, we come to the end of this segment.

00:28:10.000 And it's the absolute fucking genius.

00:28:14.000 The genius of Rosie Lee Tompkins.

00:28:18.000 I gotta zoom in here on this.

00:28:26.000 Where are we here?

00:28:28.000 Here it is.

00:28:29.000 Look at this.

00:28:29.000 So this is a quilt she made.

00:28:32.000 Here's a quilt she made.

00:28:34.000 Can you see that okay?

00:28:35.000 Here you go.

00:28:36.000 Oh, sorry.

00:28:38.000 Notice the word genius is here, and she's just stitched a bunch of t-shirts and crap onto a quilt, and then random letters.

00:28:46.000 Like, this isn't Basquiat.

00:28:48.000 This is mental patient.

00:28:51.000 And of course, the t-shirt says O.J. Simpson, innocent.

00:28:54.000 The guy who chopped off his ex-wife's head.

00:28:57.000 And that's genius?

00:28:59.000 Look at this shit.

00:29:01.000 It's garbage.

00:29:03.000 I mean, do you think I would deny or anyone would deny if there were these incredible quilts this lady made? 0.92

00:29:09.000 And you're reading about it too.

00:29:11.000 And they took like years of her stitching crap onto a big sheet of fabric. 0.89

00:29:19.000 Look at this.

00:29:22.000 Like, how is that genius?

00:29:25.000 It's shit crosses.

00:29:29.000 Anyway, so now we're up to, that was the cover story.

00:29:33.000 We're up to page 12, and now it's all about laying their claim on the city.

00:29:40.000 Skateboarders, black skateboarders are taking back New York. 1.00

00:29:44.000 Wait, are you showing the right thing, Ryan?

00:29:47.000 Oh, right.

00:29:48.000 What were you doing there?

00:29:48.000 We have a minute until I finish.

00:29:50.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:29:51.000 Okay.

00:29:52.000 Laying their claim on the city.

00:29:55.000 And for the 50th time in a row, no one gives a shit about this kind of stuff.

00:30:00.000 Like, no one is denying that you should write about blacks and everything.

00:30:03.000 But when you get to the point where you're cramming it onto every page, I don't believe you.

00:30:08.000 Like, I think you're full of shit.

00:30:11.000 Pandering is a form of racism.

00:30:15.000 Wait, now I'm all zoomed in this one.

00:30:19.000 When you just constantly coddle, it's sort of like, you know, proud boys indicate they may stand up to chop and I'm kicked off everything.

00:30:28.000 It's a major catastrophe.

00:30:29.000 We have Black Panthers, who, by the way, it just came out they were actors.

00:30:33.000 Those were people wearing costumes.

00:30:36.000 Yeah.

00:30:36.000 Oh, really?

00:30:37.000 We'll get to that in a sec.

00:30:38.000 But no one cares about that because they see the left and the mainstream and the DNC see blacks as retards.

00:30:46.000 And they go, oh, you're all dressed up with your guns.

00:30:50.000 I love it.

00:30:51.000 I love, oh, you think OJ was innocent.

00:30:55.000 That's great.

00:30:56.000 You did it.

00:30:57.000 Oh, you want to kill all white people? 0.93

00:30:59.000 I love that.

00:31:00.000 And then when someone says the opposite, they hear, I want to kill all retards. 1.00

00:31:04.000 And they're like, you leave those poor retards alone. 1.00

00:31:07.000 You jerk.

00:31:10.000 It's the bigotry of low expectations.

00:31:12.000 And as an egalitarian who hates racism, I don't like it.

00:31:16.000 So anyway, last page.

00:31:18.000 One of my favorite cartoonists, Laura Park.

00:31:21.000 I don't know if it's Laura Park.

00:31:24.000 This woman is so fucking talented. 1.00

00:31:27.000 I've been a fan of her since day one.

00:31:29.000 I got in a lot of trouble from Drawn and Quarterly, her publisher, by saying I like that she draws herself fat and she's fat.

00:31:36.000 Because back then, when she first came out, everyone was making themselves gorgeous.

00:31:39.000 Now it's a little more normal.

00:31:41.000 Anyway.

00:31:41.000 Drawings put on 10 pounds.

00:31:45.000 Anyway, this is about Letitia Harlands. 0.81

00:31:48.000 What's her name?

00:31:51.000 Yeah, Letitia Harlands. 0.98

00:31:52.000 Now, during the LA riots, Korean stores were getting destroyed.

00:32:02.000 They were getting ransacked, looted, to the point where Koreans were on their roofs with guns.

00:32:09.000 Anyway, this girl went into a store and she put a drink in her backpack and the paranoid Korean geriatric had a gun and she goes, oh, no, she never got at the time. 0.75

00:32:19.000 She goes, you steal that. 1.00

00:32:21.000 You steal that.

00:32:22.000 She goes, I'm not going to steal.

00:32:22.000 I'm going to pay for it.

00:32:23.000 He goes, you steal, you steal.

00:32:24.000 And she goes, fuck you. 1.00

00:32:25.000 And they get into a fight.

00:32:27.000 And then as the girl's like, fuck it, fuck it. 0.81

00:32:29.000 I had money.

00:32:30.000 I was going to pay you, bitch. 1.00

00:32:31.000 And then the Korean old Korean lady grabs a gun and shoots her in the back of the head, kills her. 1.00

00:32:34.000 Obviously, tragic.

00:32:36.000 She should go to jail. 0.84

00:32:38.000 that's murder.

00:32:41.000 But I don't know, the old lady was panicked during a riot. 1.00

00:32:45.000 You could give her 40 years.

00:32:47.000 Are you really like getting a murderer off the streets?

00:32:51.000 Is it ever really going to happen again?

00:32:52.000 So it's wrong, it's illegal, but it's not really the best example of unjust killings.

00:32:58.000 It's a chaotic and stupid reaction during a riot.

00:33:02.000 But anyway, Laura Park thinks it's an example of Asian privilege. 1.00

00:33:07.000 And she sits and she draws a chart where she says, here's what I'm going to do.

00:33:13.000 Should I donate to bail funds?

00:33:16.000 Yes.

00:33:16.000 But I also have to be careful not to just be amplifying black pain.

00:33:21.000 What's more important, donating my skills or making space for black artists? 0.98

00:33:26.000 Here's some space for black artists.

00:33:28.000 Can you do both?

00:33:29.000 How can I participate without displacing by books?

00:33:35.000 And by books, they mean Taneshi coats and stuff, not actual books that have actual facts in them.

00:33:41.000 This is just a random sample of the other side.

00:33:46.000 And it's just bizarre.

00:33:48.000 It's radical leftist propaganda that comes across as powerfully insincere.

00:33:55.000 There's no humor in it.

00:33:57.000 It doesn't come across as authentic blackness.

00:33:59.000 It comes across as pandering blackness.

00:34:02.000 Anyway, we're going to get off, I guess, bit shoot now, right?

00:34:08.000 And the free podcast.

00:34:10.000 But we have a very big announcement to make.

00:34:13.000 And you're not going to be able to know because it's only the paid subscribers who get to meet our new contributor.

00:34:21.000 Also, paid subscribers, during the call-in session, one lucky listener is getting six pairs of Hesshi socks, one Johnny Apple CBD prize pack with tinctures and gummies, one $50 gift card to Bubba and Hanks.

00:34:36.000 That's the awesome meet place that I love.

00:34:39.000 And three free months of expressvpn.com.

00:34:43.000 That's the browser where you can look at stuff and no one knows anything about you or what you're doing.

00:34:51.000 And this is me on July 30th being essentially Santa Claus.

00:34:56.000 Our ad guy has added that I should say, ho ho ho. 0.88

00:34:59.000 Censored.tv is giving you free stuff.

00:35:01.000 Ho ho ho. 1.00

00:35:02.000 Merry Christmas in July.

00:35:04.000 Censored Claus is the character he came up with.

00:35:06.000 That's pretty good.

00:35:07.000 Kind of fun.

00:35:08.000 All right, so get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

00:35:13.000 We do that.

00:35:15.000 And there'll be music there.

00:35:17.000 There will be some music.

00:35:18.000 It'll be super freak.

00:35:20.000 Super freak.

00:35:21.000 She's super freak. 1.00

00:35:22.000 That song's clearly about a chick who does anal, right? 1.00

00:35:25.000 All sorts of things.

00:35:26.000 There's not that many things.

00:35:28.000 There's 69ing, which I think everyone will do unless they feel fat.

00:35:32.000 And then there's anal.

00:35:33.000 Everyone else does every other thing.

00:35:35.000 Like finding a chick who does below jobs, that's like... 1.00

00:35:42.000 I've gotten the most resistance by far from 69.

00:35:47.000 They need to be trained.

00:35:49.000 Your problem with sex, Ryan, is that you don't seem to have enough of it.

00:35:52.000 That you're the teacher.

00:35:53.000 No, don't tell me about that.

00:35:56.000 I'm good with.

00:35:57.000 But that's, I mean, it winds up happening, but it's the toughest one because they don't want their butthole looking at you in the eyeballs. 0.99

00:36:04.000 I think that's why.

00:36:05.000 Saying hello.

00:36:06.000 That's what that symbol really means.

00:36:07.000 It's not white power.

00:36:08.000 It's brown power. 0.92

00:36:09.000 It's a butthole.

00:36:12.000 BP.

00:36:13.000 Are we ready to unleash the Goss? 1.00

00:36:13.000 All right. 1.00

00:36:15.000 The Goss is being contacted.

00:36:19.000 Let's contact our secret gossip.

00:36:21.000 We might as well call this contributor.

00:36:23.000 I'm very excited about all our contributors, but I'm particularly excited about this one.

00:36:27.000 And I don't want to trivialize the others, but this is a direction I like going in.

00:36:31.000 And we disagree, obviously, about a very big deal.

00:36:35.000 But besides that, I like the humor.

00:36:38.000 I like the irreverence.

00:36:39.000 I like the tone.

00:36:40.000 I like the lack of apology.

00:36:43.000 And, you know, what sums up this guy to me is when they were talking about white silences violence or something.

00:36:51.000 And they're saying, you need to feel our pain.

00:36:54.000 You need to, I don't know, read books or something.

00:36:56.000 And he just goes, nope, not doing it.

00:36:59.000 Gay. 0.98

00:37:03.000 I think he's on the line.

00:37:03.000 All right.

00:37:05.000 Are you there, sir?

00:37:09.000 I don't hear you.

00:37:11.000 You said he was on the line, Rye Guy.

00:37:14.000 I knew this would happen.

00:37:16.000 He is on the line.

00:37:19.000 Can you hear me, friend?

00:37:23.000 Are things coming through all nice and everything?

00:37:26.000 Didn't I suggest we test this first?

00:37:29.000 Maybe he contacted me.

00:37:31.000 This is actually.

00:37:32.000 Hello.

00:37:32.000 Hello, check.

00:37:33.000 Hello, hello.

00:37:34.000 Can you hear me?

00:37:35.000 I'm here.

00:37:36.000 Slight technical issue, but we're rolling.

00:37:39.000 Okay.

00:37:40.000 I appreciate that intro.

00:37:41.000 That is a very kind thing you've said about me.

00:37:44.000 I'm not sure what I was supposed to apologize for.

00:37:44.000 No apologies.

00:37:47.000 Well, the particular video we're talking about, you're supposed to apologize for, I guess, and here's the clincher.

00:37:54.000 400 years of slavery, but it wasn't 400 years of slavery.

00:37:57.000 It was 400 years ago.

00:38:01.000 You ever notice that?

00:38:04.000 Kevin, I'm very frustrated with the whole thing, to be honest.

00:38:06.000 I mean, I feel like it's necessary to respond to it and to mock it and to shame these people, but my God, if we didn't waste our time with this, would we not be in space right now?

00:38:16.000 We'd be doing something else, wouldn't we?

00:38:18.000 The other problem is Milo was just saying this to me today.

00:38:21.000 He goes, I feel like black people aren't cool anymore.

00:38:25.000 They lost it?

00:38:26.000 They've turned into trans. 1.00

00:38:29.000 Hmm.

00:38:30.000 Well, they are overrepresented in the gay community.

00:38:33.000 I know that.

00:38:34.000 That's never really discussed.

00:38:35.000 It's never been discussed.

00:38:36.000 But the whole, like, when, you know, in the, even before rap, like in the 80s, you'd see a black dude and you'd be like, hey, man, what's up? 0.62

00:38:44.000 I'm Gavin.

00:38:45.000 Yeah.

00:38:46.000 What's going on?

00:38:47.000 I don't know.

00:38:48.000 Just ignore me.

00:38:49.000 Stupid.

00:38:50.000 Okay.

00:38:51.000 And now you're like, oh, geez, here we go again.

00:38:55.000 Do you remember the scene in Flash Dance?

00:38:57.000 I think she's coming back from work and she sees a bunch of breakdancers and she stops, like, does a little pop and lock in.

00:39:04.000 And it was cool, it wasn't like dude.

00:39:05.000 That's so perfect because that's exactly what's done now.

00:39:10.000 Yeah, it's over.

00:39:11.000 Forget it.

00:39:12.000 Like, if you saw pop and lockers now, you'd just be like, Jesus Christ, get off the street, leaving a mess everywhere.

00:39:18.000 Speak of the devil, that 12-year-old little blonde white kid, he was popping and locking on the street corner at like 11:30 at night, which is a little weird, but that's a great example, too, because his name is Ethan, but he goes by E-Man.

00:39:33.000 Is that right?

00:39:34.000 That's the best he had?

00:39:35.000 Yo, I'm the E-Man.

00:39:37.000 Yo, what's up, dog?

00:39:39.000 Oh, that's a work in progress.

00:39:41.000 So I guess we should announce who you are.

00:39:43.000 I don't know if everyone recognizes the Easter bunny that we just put on the screen, but Atheism is unstoppable.

00:39:49.000 Newest addition to this God-fearing Christian conservative platform.

00:39:56.000 And it's ballsy of you, and I appreciate it.

00:39:58.000 And I am super stoked to be here.

00:40:00.000 I was banned from YouTube, and I spent a lot of time in fetal position, a lot of misery.

00:40:07.000 But I have no more tears, Gavin, at this point.

00:40:09.000 And you sent me an email, and I was delighted, and I'm happy to contribute to your brand.

00:40:16.000 Well, you can be exactly who you want to be now, because I felt like some of the more recent videos, you sort of were feeling guarded, feeling like you had to deliver caveats and explain yourself.

00:40:32.000 Well, I might want to reset just to make sure people are clear about what I believe in.

00:40:36.000 But you're right.

00:40:37.000 A lot of it is tone.

00:40:39.000 And if you are constantly giving out the caveats, it sets the wrong precedent.

00:40:44.000 Now, I have a couple questions.

00:40:46.000 One, my last boss was Susan Wojiski.

00:40:49.000 Are you going to be a better boss?

00:40:50.000 And are you my boss?

00:40:53.000 That's a good question, actually.

00:40:54.000 I will be a better boss.

00:40:56.000 But there's certain people that I don't think of myself as the boss.

00:41:00.000 Like with Ryan, obviously, he has Down syndrome, so I'm his boss.

00:41:05.000 Tragic.

00:41:05.000 Gary of Gary's mailbag.

00:41:08.000 I'm definitely his boss.

00:41:11.000 But there's others where if you were to put up a video that was like over the top, I would just sort of like call you and go, what are you doing?

00:41:21.000 Like, are you sure you want to go down this route?

00:41:24.000 It's sort of like with you, I see that we're equals and we're in a band.

00:41:28.000 And if George Harrison, like in the middle of the song, was like, because that's what a fat bitch does. 1.00

00:41:35.000 And if I was Paul McCartney, I'd be like, George, what the fuck?

00:41:40.000 You do that on stage with an American accent.

00:41:44.000 Oh, that's good.

00:41:46.000 Can I just say, I saw the beginning of this broadcast, and you were thrusting your pelvis to super freak, and your fanny pack was being pushed in front of my face. 1.00

00:41:56.000 It was alarming and sobering.

00:41:58.000 It was sort of, there's the term phallic, but I prefer the term for that kind of thing, scrodik.

00:42:05.000 That's a new one.

00:42:06.000 I'm going to use that, and I'm not going to give you credit.

00:42:09.000 I have to agree with you, jazz sucks.

00:42:11.000 That is a world conspiracy.

00:42:12.000 I will throw on top of that the grateful dead.

00:42:15.000 And in terms of the 69ing you guys were discussing, can I just say, yeah, 69 is one thing.

00:42:20.000 Have you ever been on top in that scenario?

00:42:24.000 No, she would choke to death, would she not? 0.97

00:42:27.000 It's not a good angle, is it?

00:42:28.000 I have, but yeah, it's not good.

00:42:29.000 No, it would go right down her throat.

00:42:31.000 She couldn't breathe.

00:42:33.000 Which I'm sure in some porn is now considered perfectly reasonable.

00:42:38.000 I've never openly talked to a group of men about 69ing, so this is very liberating for me.

00:42:42.000 My problem with 609 is I'm so incredibly talented in the cunnelingus department that she just sort of falls to the side and can't do any of the work there. 1.00

00:42:51.000 Always.

00:42:52.000 Or she goes too crazy, and I'm like, you take forever, so don't go bananas on me, or this job's going to be done in like a minute, and I got a fucking 13-minuteer on my face.

00:43:05.000 And you're actually talking to her during this?

00:43:08.000 13-minute.

00:43:09.000 I'm not a foot-than-blah, I'm a foot.

00:43:14.000 Yeah, so we're really excited to have you aboard.

00:43:16.000 So how do people sign up and give me money and not you money?

00:43:21.000 That would be tragic.

00:43:23.000 That's really the worst case scenario here.

00:43:25.000 That's my goal.

00:43:26.000 Yeah.

00:43:27.000 We have competing interests here.

00:43:29.000 It's a major conflict of interest.

00:43:31.000 No.

00:43:32.000 You sign up.

00:43:33.000 It's very easy.

00:43:34.000 You guys have a very slick site.

00:43:36.000 I've been very impressed by it.

00:43:37.000 But you just type in AIU, uppercase or lowercase, in the coupon code.

00:43:42.000 If you don't do that, you're just making the rich richer.

00:43:44.000 I mean, Gavin literally doesn't need your money.

00:43:46.000 So by the way, folks at home, we could lose him.

00:43:51.000 If all the new subscribers don't use the AIU code and he sees the results and he's not getting paid, he's just going to split.

00:43:58.000 So don't lose me, the Easter bunny here.

00:44:01.000 And lucky for me, he's telling that to people that have already signed up.

00:44:05.000 And so it's totally valid.

00:44:09.000 Touche.

00:44:11.000 Touche.

00:44:12.000 But, you know, there comes a time in a man's life when he assesses things and he says, you know what, I think it's time to slice my audience into a tenth of what it once was and eliminate any chance of growth and reaching a wider audience and just rot behind the oblivion of a paywall.

00:44:28.000 And so that's what I've decided to do.

00:44:31.000 And I'm happy to be attached to you and your reputation.

00:44:35.000 That is a slightly negative version of events, I will concede.

00:44:39.000 But I noticed with Vice, like we kept trying to get our numbers up from 10,000 copies per city.

00:44:46.000 And then Shane and I one day went, maybe what we do is a 10,000 person per city kind of a thing.

00:44:54.000 Now, the secret to that is to get to more cities.

00:44:58.000 And that adds up to a lot of 10,000s.

00:45:00.000 But when we were trying to get to like 50,000 in Montreal and 50,000 in fucking Madison, Wisconsin, we had to sell out so much that it wasn't our brand anymore.

00:45:11.000 And I think as YouTube gets more and more strict, you have to be shittier and shittier to keep your numbers up.

00:45:19.000 And then you start losing who Atheism is Unstoppable is. 0.93

00:45:23.000 It's true.

00:45:24.000 And I've been the same person.

00:45:25.000 So they really did jump the shark with this.

00:45:27.000 And it's kind of tragic.

00:45:29.000 I like the way you're talking about hopping from city to city.

00:45:31.000 It reminded me of Howard Stern's rise to fame where he was grinding it out in local markets.

00:45:37.000 And, you know, he's had a problem with censorship too, but he's been a big influence on me.

00:45:42.000 Are you a Stern fan yourself?

00:45:43.000 I am, but this past year and maybe past couple years has been physically fucking painful.

00:45:54.000 What, for him or for you?

00:45:55.000 No, listening as a fan, throwing Alex Jones under the bus.

00:46:00.000 Did he have him on the show?

00:46:01.000 No, but when Alex Jones got kicked off of whatever he got kicked off of, or when he was being sued, he said it was about Sandy Hook, which, you know, if you're mad about Sandy Hook, then you better have everything worked out and be 100% positive that the conspiracy theorists are wrong.

00:46:20.000 But he said, you know, you can't say stuff like this.

00:46:22.000 And then he said, free speech doesn't mean freedom from consequences.

00:46:26.000 And then he fucking said, you can't yell fire in a crowded theater.

00:46:31.000 Oh, yeah.

00:46:32.000 He's got a little pussy in him sometimes. 1.00

00:46:34.000 I'm sure the wife is eroding some of his more punk background. 0.95

00:46:39.000 Well, yeah.

00:46:40.000 Kimmel's the same way because they want to get invited to all their fucking wise dinner parties.

00:46:45.000 And they're best buds, aren't they?

00:46:47.000 Yes.

00:46:48.000 Yeah, it's revolting.

00:46:49.000 They're so pussy whipped because Beth and what's her name, Mandy or something, they want to go to like Ellen DeGeneres' house and Chelsea Handler's house, and they don't want to be ostracized.

00:47:00.000 So they both make sure they shit on Trump and shit on free speech, and then it comes to bite them in the ass.

00:47:04.000 They both have a big blackface past that continues to fall into. 0.81

00:47:10.000 Gavin, don't you believe in happy wife, happy life?

00:47:13.000 Doesn't that destroy everything else?

00:47:16.000 Yes, but you have to have parameters.

00:47:18.000 You can't lose yourself.

00:47:20.000 So, for example, I'm interested in some property that has a huge bar in the basement.

00:47:26.000 My wife hates it. 0.99

00:47:27.000 She says we can have a bar.

00:47:28.000 It's not that ugly bar.

00:47:30.000 I'm like, I actually like that bar, but I can let this go.

00:47:34.000 But if she had said, there's no way we can have a bar in our house, I would go, well, you're going to have to sit on this and rotate. 1.00

00:47:41.000 Yeah, I agree with that.

00:47:42.000 And then Howard Stern has that other weird thing where he was friends with Donald Trump for many, many years and had very intimate conversations with him.

00:47:49.000 And then he became the most powerful man in the world.

00:47:52.000 And I guess he turned his back on Trump a little bit too, didn't he?

00:47:55.000 Oh, totally.

00:47:56.000 And he says, no, no, Trump, this is, and then he brags.

00:47:59.000 He says, I know Trump.

00:48:00.000 I saw this in his book, Howard Stern Comes Again.

00:48:02.000 He said, look, I know Trump personally, and here's what happened.

00:48:06.000 He did it as a joke to sell books, and then it actually worked, and he's totally freaked out.

00:48:13.000 That's your stupid theory, Howard.

00:48:15.000 And it doesn't pay anything.

00:48:17.000 All Howard Stern does is read the fucking New York Times.

00:48:22.000 He reads this.

00:48:22.000 Okay, but.

00:48:23.000 Didn't this guy...

00:48:27.000 So would there be Gavin McInnes without Howard Stern, in a sense?

00:48:31.000 Oh, of course.

00:48:33.000 No, we were going to do it anyway.

00:48:35.000 We were fighting in a different world.

00:48:38.000 He was fighting like, like sexy girls. 0.86

00:48:43.000 I want to be a, Like we want to show tits and talk to a girl in a bikini and, hey, how much do you weigh? 1.00

00:48:51.000 And have you ever sucked a dick? 0.91

00:48:52.000 We weren't like that.

00:48:53.000 We were coming from more of a punk rock thing where everyone's equal and we hate the jocks.

00:48:58.000 So we were more of a grassroots, like clash sex pistols thing.

00:49:03.000 And he was more of a like Andrew Dice Clay, like let me see your tits kind of thing. 0.54

00:49:08.000 Now they look similar to outsiders because they both involve tits. 1.00

00:49:12.000 But on the one hand, it's we're showing our own tits.

00:49:15.000 In his world, he's showing someone else's tits.

00:49:19.000 Yeah, that makes sense.

00:49:20.000 I feel that.

00:49:21.000 I got another question for you, Gavin.

00:49:23.000 Can I be an honorary proud boy, or am I automatically part of the club now?

00:49:27.000 Or what's the initiation like on that?

00:49:30.000 Well, the first degree is you have to publicly declare yourself a proud Western chauvinist who refuses to apologize for creating the modern world.

00:49:38.000 And then you have to come to a local meeting.

00:49:42.000 I don't know where you are or where you say you are, but that way.

00:49:48.000 I moved around a lot.

00:49:49.000 It's like the Knights of Columbus.

00:49:51.000 You got to go to a meeting and go through the things.

00:49:55.000 So you disavowed publicly, you're not the leader, but it's still happening.

00:49:59.000 I separated myself from that club because the FBI made me at gunpoint and said, we're going to frame your guys as members of a gang.

00:50:09.000 And my lawyer said, look, gangs have leaders and they do illegal things.

00:50:13.000 You don't do illegal things and you're the leader.

00:50:15.000 So get rid of that and it's going to kill their gang thing.

00:50:18.000 Okay.

00:50:19.000 Did it work?

00:50:20.000 I don't know.

00:50:21.000 Because I'm going to go to prison, but eight didn't go to prison.

00:50:25.000 Are you sending care packages?

00:50:27.000 Oh, yeah.

00:50:29.000 Man, I've never talked to a guy in prison.

00:50:31.000 That's got to be a weird phenomenon, getting those calls.

00:50:34.000 You can do it on your phone now through JPEG.

00:50:38.000 There's an app for calling dudes in prison?

00:50:40.000 Yeah, well, you can email them.

00:50:42.000 They get emails now.

00:50:45.000 You can also call filter.

00:50:48.000 But you can also, and the easiest thing to do is, because I find with care packages, a lot of the COs will steal them. 1.00

00:50:54.000 But if you send books, the COs don't tend to steal books for some reason.

00:51:00.000 I'll let that speak for itself.

00:51:02.000 Classic.

00:51:03.000 I was very interested in the conversation you had with me earlier because you knew the title of my channel and you knew where I was coming from philosophically.

00:51:12.000 But I was very compelled by some of the arguments you brought up about the big man upstairs.

00:51:19.000 Yeah, we should make this a whole separate show, but I want to have a 342-hour discussion with you about God.

00:51:26.000 And I think that a lot of you atheists get caught up in the weeds, like Noah's Ark and Jesus and the miracles.

00:51:33.000 And I prefer to make Catholicism my sort of personal thing, like when my Indian wife burns sage in a new apartment to de-demon the rooms. 0.99

00:51:43.000 I don't ask her about that.

00:51:44.000 It just seems whatever.

00:51:46.000 Stupid chick Indian stuff. 1.00

00:51:48.000 But the important big picture stuff here is deism and the big bang and the infinite universe and all the strange little clues that he leaves.

00:51:59.000 Like when you Fuck your sister, you make a retard, or when you kill someone, you have nightmares every night. 1.00

00:52:06.000 That was a hint this whole time, yes.

00:52:09.000 There's all kinds of little Easter eggs.

00:52:12.000 What do we call those in movies where there's little clues?

00:52:15.000 Are they Easter eggs?

00:52:16.000 Easter eggs, yep.

00:52:17.000 You know about that.

00:52:18.000 You're a bunny.

00:52:20.000 Um, ish, yeah.

00:52:22.000 Um, well, I am actually interested to pry your brain a little bit on that, even though I don't talk about it that often.

00:52:29.000 I'm willing to circle back because I think you're coming for the fresh angle, and it might be amusing to hear it out.

00:52:35.000 Do you go to, have you ever been to church?

00:52:38.000 Yeah, I grew up.

00:52:40.000 I don't think you had a choice.

00:52:41.000 Yeah, I went to a Christian school growing up.

00:52:44.000 Every Friday, we'd go out there.

00:52:45.000 Because I've been going to Latin Mass, and I don't know what the fuck they're talking about, but I just sort of sit in there in awe of this gift that is life and everything around, and the generations that built this church, and the families that heard this same sermon years and years and years ago, and I feel a connection with them.

00:53:04.000 I start to think about how we're all one, and maybe this is heaven.

00:53:08.000 And when we were sperms, we were like alive.

00:53:11.000 And then when we were born, we died, and this is heaven.

00:53:15.000 I think, isn't sperm kind of like fish?

00:53:17.000 Isn't sperm plural?

00:53:20.000 Sperms? 0.99

00:53:21.000 Yeah, you dropped sperms. 1.00

00:53:23.000 I'm not sure if that's accurate.

00:53:24.000 Well, what about this as an instant knee-jerk psychoanalysis of Gavin McGinnis?

00:53:28.000 Would it be fair to say that you like the ritual of it all, the tradition, the community, and yet underneath the surface, you know it's all BS, but you have decided that it doesn't matter?

00:53:39.000 No, no, I'm using the ritual of it all as sort of like E.T. Reese's pieces to get you to come to the deeper philosophical things.

00:53:47.000 But everyone, religion and Christianity has been vilified to such a brutal extent that even the idea of going to the church means, ha, welcome back to gays are going to hell and dinosaurs don't exist.

00:54:01.000 And then you go there and it's like, peace be with you, peace be with you, peace be with you.

00:54:05.000 Learn to love fellow man.

00:54:07.000 And there's incredible gratitude and recognition for the gift of life at church.

00:54:15.000 And then we get into the deeper shit.

00:54:17.000 I've cried at church before.

00:54:20.000 Are you okay crying in public?

00:54:21.000 No, I do a man cry, which is like... 1.00

00:54:26.000 Isn't the wiping the sort of part where it shows that you're shamed?

00:54:29.000 The wipe has to be like...

00:54:34.000 Okay.

00:54:35.000 Yeah, just get it.

00:54:36.000 Or just be a man.

00:54:37.000 Like people get tattoos.

00:54:39.000 You can't have a fucking tear go down your cheek and disappear into your beard.

00:54:44.000 So we'll talk about that in a broader sense.

00:54:48.000 But when do we see your first video?

00:54:51.000 Video is up.

00:54:52.000 I believe it is ready to roll.

00:54:54.000 And I got news for you guys.

00:54:55.000 I got a lot of stuff coming down the pipe.

00:54:58.000 Like, I have 20 videos in my brain right now.

00:55:01.000 It's just a matter of time to pump them out.

00:55:03.000 So your channel is about to get an influx of content that's going to be some of the best on the internet if I do say so myself.

00:55:09.000 It might be a lot more.

00:55:10.000 And I hope my fans show up.

00:55:12.000 What's that?

00:55:13.000 It might become kind of your channel.

00:55:14.000 If you post more than me, then we're going to see the kangaroo more than we see the Wolfer Brimley with AIDS.

00:55:21.000 Well, I'm not sure if you got the latest contract, but my lawyer did put a clause in that said, if my numbers surpass yours, it is my channel.

00:55:28.000 Oh, fuck.

00:55:29.000 Look at me.

00:55:29.000 Yeah.

00:55:30.000 I am the captain now.

00:55:33.000 It's exciting, though, because I'm contemplating what I can even do here.

00:55:37.000 I think I asked you in an email, I said, you know, what can I not do was the way I framed it because not that I want to go crazy.

00:55:45.000 I mean, I think it's weird because I was banned for my ideas.

00:55:50.000 I wasn't showing midget sex or, you know, horsecock. 1.00

00:55:53.000 I was just talking and in a commonsensical way, too.

00:55:58.000 And that freaked them out.

00:56:00.000 How weak do you have to be to be scared of fucking ideas?

00:56:05.000 How can we do that?

00:56:06.000 Yeah, can I just put on the record that I'm an Eagle Scout?

00:56:09.000 And I actually take pride in that.

00:56:12.000 You should, it's hard.

00:56:14.000 Yeah, and it's doused with religion, too, which you'd probably be approving of. 0.57

00:56:18.000 But yeah, we've lost track of all that crap.

00:56:23.000 And no one cares.

00:56:25.000 Like, that's the thing of it all.

00:56:27.000 People care about popularity.

00:56:28.000 They care about money.

00:56:29.000 And that's it.

00:56:30.000 What else is important?

00:56:33.000 Yeah, I guess I would just say, as far as what you can't do, is we're in this together.

00:56:38.000 So if you're going to do something like the merits of rape, you better research the living shit out of it and have like a 20-minute explanation on where you're going with this because you could sink the whole fucking company.

00:56:53.000 Okay, well, I was going to do a video about baby rape.

00:56:56.000 Are you kosher with that?

00:56:58.000 Yeah, well, you're talking about it in a clinical way in the sense that it's a major problem in South Africa, I assume.

00:57:06.000 Yeah, it might be elsewhere.

00:57:07.000 I'm going to research it.

00:57:08.000 Hopefully it's not a tutorial.

00:57:12.000 I will be typing in baby rape into Google. 1.00

00:57:13.000 Put it that way.

00:57:15.000 Yeah, you better be careful.

00:57:17.000 I'm prepared to go down that rabbit hole wherever it takes me.

00:57:22.000 I was researching once.

00:57:24.000 What's his name?

00:57:25.000 Dove Charney got Me Too'd before Me Too was Me Too.

00:57:29.000 And these women were saying that he raped them.

00:57:32.000 And he sent me all of these texts and things that they had sent him to prove that he wasn't taking advantage of them.

00:57:38.000 They're all like, I want to be your anal sex slave and stuff. 1.00

00:57:40.000 And it was just like doing the research for that article.

00:57:43.000 I just, I had to have a shower after because I was so disgusted by these fucking horrors and their behavior.

00:57:52.000 I'm on record for saying that I don't even know how guys physically, technically rape.

00:57:58.000 Like, I couldn't even imagine that.

00:58:00.000 Dude, I did it on a comedy podcast where Luis Gomez goes, no, no, they just, they pry open their legs.

00:58:06.000 I go, try to pry open my legs right now, tough guy.

00:58:09.000 And he couldn't pry open my legs.

00:58:11.000 Oh, you did?

00:58:12.000 Yeah.

00:58:13.000 I got to see that.

00:58:14.000 Now, I get the knife and the gun and everything and the date rape and all that, but the actual like jumping out of the bushes with nothing.

00:58:22.000 What do you do?

00:58:23.000 Yeah, and by the way, why can't we have another word for that?

00:58:26.000 Because when people say rape, most people, at least I assume it's A guy in an alley who's beating you over the head, right?

00:58:32.000 Because it always was up until a few years ago.

00:58:35.000 When you heard your fucking buddy's sister got raped in like 2010, you'd go, let's get the baseball bats, boys, get in the car.

00:58:46.000 We got to go find them, kill him.

00:58:48.000 Now, when someone says they've been raped, you go, okay, well, wait, what's the story now?

00:58:52.000 Was it Aziz Ansari on a date where she blew him seven times?

00:58:57.000 Yeah.

00:58:57.000 Well, when did date rape become a phrase?

00:58:59.000 Because I'm guessing a lot of girls got date raped, but then didn't know what to call it. 1.00

00:59:03.000 They were just like, things happened and I was kind of involved.

00:59:08.000 I consented to the date, so maybe I should shut up.

00:59:11.000 Isn't it funny how we talked about the most undiscussable subject and here we are bathing in it?

00:59:18.000 You know what Anne Coulter said to me once?

00:59:20.000 She goes, the invention of date rape was the death of romance.

00:59:24.000 Because she said, that was the way we could maintain our chastity as young girls.

00:59:30.000 This guy would take us home and he's like, get in the car, we're going to your house.

00:59:33.000 And she'd go like, you cad, get your hands off of me. 0.93

00:59:36.000 And then he'd take her to his house and he'd be chasing her up the stairs, grabbing her ass. 0.98

00:59:39.000 And she'd be like, get, get, will you stop it?

00:59:42.000 Jesus Christ, what's the matter with you?

00:59:43.000 You pervert.

00:59:45.000 And then they would horse around, get, no, don't you dare, would you, would you?

00:59:49.000 And then they would fuck. 0.99

00:59:50.000 And then the next morning or whatever, she'd have the sheets up and be like, I am appalled.

00:59:55.000 How dare you?

00:59:56.000 And then she would gather up her clothes and he'd be like, baby, come on, come back.

00:59:59.000 Absolutely not, you pig.

01:00:01.000 And then she'd go home and she was still a lady because she didn't consent to any of it. 1.00

01:00:05.000 Exactly.

01:00:06.000 And that was a norm in movies.

01:00:08.000 The woman would cover her tits with the sheet of the bed. 1.00

01:00:12.000 Now, part of that was for the movie's sake, but is that in real life?

01:00:16.000 It's like, we just had sex.

01:00:17.000 I know what your tits look like. 1.00

01:00:19.000 I was just sleeping on them.

01:00:22.000 Yeah, well, maybe it's cold outside, right?

01:00:24.000 It used to be romantic.

01:00:27.000 Well, Gavin, did you ever do a deep dive into Brock Turner?

01:00:30.000 Because I've done a few videos on him.

01:00:31.000 I don't think he raped anyone.

01:00:33.000 Now, who was that again?

01:00:35.000 Stanford Swimmer, 19 years old.

01:00:38.000 Oh, yeah.

01:00:39.000 He got absolutely destroyed.

01:00:42.000 They said he was a monster.

01:00:43.000 They said he raped a woman who was unconscious by a dumpster.

01:00:46.000 Oh, yes, yes, yes.

01:00:47.000 And he is the go-to case for rich white kids and white privilege.

01:00:53.000 But I think they were both blackout drunk, and he was fingering her going, yeah.

01:00:59.000 And she was like, well.

01:01:01.000 I mean, yeah, he was dry humping, and they had been making out all night, and she had agreed to go back to his dorm room, but then tripped.

01:01:08.000 They went to the ground.

01:01:09.000 They were passionate.

01:01:11.000 And yeah, there was no penetration outside the finger.

01:01:13.000 But, I mean, Brock has gone AWOL.

01:01:17.000 He's nowhere to be seen.

01:01:18.000 Meanwhile, the girl has come out with a best-selling book.

01:01:21.000 She's on Oprah.

01:01:22.000 And I'm saying to Brock, Brock, are you listening?

01:01:25.000 Come out of the closet.

01:01:27.000 Well, no, he's not gay.

01:01:28.000 Come into the spotlight and write a book.

01:01:32.000 At least make money off this.

01:01:33.000 What are you doing?

01:01:35.000 He's acting like he's a war criminal.

01:01:37.000 I'm meeting Kale Hartman tomorrow in the city, and he's visiting from Ohio, where he manufactures furniture, I think, for a living now, because he was just banished to the outskirts, destroyed, killed.

01:01:50.000 He can't go to a comedy club in like Missouri now.

01:01:53.000 And it was based on a lie that he raped his girlfriend.

01:01:58.000 That who was the curly-haired guy that pushed it?

01:02:00.000 Sam Morrell?

01:02:02.000 I think it was Sam Morrell.

01:02:03.000 Yeah.

01:02:03.000 And if you look at her name, Beth Stelling?

01:02:08.000 Stelling?

01:02:09.000 Beth Stelling.

01:02:10.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:02:11.000 You look at her interest on Google and it was like, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, nothing, nothing, nothing.

01:02:16.000 Then this rape allegation and just pow!

01:02:19.000 Straight up.

01:02:20.000 And now she was working on Judd Appetow's show with Darty Lang and specials.

01:02:26.000 She's not remotely funny, but her career skyrocketed.

01:02:30.000 It's almost like she had to stand on him and push him under the water to drown so she could get up onto the embankment and run free.

01:02:37.000 Oh, God.

01:02:38.000 That's rough.

01:02:39.000 Yeah, I mean, she pulled the Kate Winslet with Leonardo DiCaprio kind of vibe.

01:02:44.000 I can't imagine how young men get laid these days.

01:02:47.000 Are you a young man?

01:02:48.000 Are we allowed to discuss that?

01:02:50.000 22 next month.

01:02:52.000 So how are you doing?

01:02:56.000 What's that?

01:02:57.000 Well, I mean, being a young man trying to get laid in this day and age, I mean, I would want cameras everywhere.

01:03:03.000 I'd want a release signed.

01:03:06.000 Oh, Gavin, sexuality nowadays, these young guys, they're completely screwed.

01:03:12.000 I've been talking to them.

01:03:13.000 My fans come to me.

01:03:14.000 I got some virgin fans, and they're virgins, but they've had sex like a million times in their mind.

01:03:20.000 They've been fapping at an advanced level since they were like 10.

01:03:26.000 That's so sad.

01:03:27.000 It's weird, man.

01:03:28.000 It's not the way it should be.

01:03:30.000 I got to say it.

01:03:31.000 Well, my buddy Ryan, he calls his apartment the fag zone.

01:03:35.000 Who's that?

01:03:36.000 It's probably about 100 feet from a really cool bar with tons of hot chicks in it all the time. 1.00

01:03:42.000 And I'll talk to him on the phone.

01:03:43.000 I'll go, what'd you do this weekend?

01:03:44.000 And he goes, oh my God, my grandfather, this is not a joke.

01:03:47.000 My grandfather taught me a new way to play solitaire.

01:03:50.000 Yes.

01:03:53.000 No.

01:03:53.000 This is real joke.

01:03:54.000 And by the way, Ryan, how's it going?

01:03:56.000 My name is Devin.

01:03:57.000 Good to meet you.

01:03:58.000 Nice to meet you.

01:03:59.000 How's it going?

01:04:00.000 And it's not tag zone, by the way.

01:04:04.000 Just a room.

01:04:06.000 That's him bullying you?

01:04:08.000 Yes.

01:04:08.000 Thank you.

01:04:10.000 That's one way to do it.

01:04:10.000 I think he's done a lot with the space.

01:04:14.000 I saw the walkthrough you guys did.

01:04:16.000 And it's small, but it's New York, so I assume it would be.

01:04:19.000 Yeah.

01:04:20.000 It's like me.

01:04:20.000 It's actually a pretty big apartment.

01:04:22.000 Small, but New York.

01:04:23.000 Dude, we got to start taking calls.

01:04:27.000 I don't want to dump you before you dump me, but I'm very, very excited about this project.

01:04:32.000 When we envisioned this plan at the very beginning, I envisioned like a non-liberal vice, and I wanted it to be weird.

01:04:41.000 I love Gary's mailbag and fighting with Larry and obviously Milo, but I'm very excited to have you and people like Jim Goad coming on and being weird and new and adventurous and making mistakes and taking risks because that is really missing From, I don't like saying the right, but the non-left.

01:05:04.000 Well, that brings us full circle because that's exactly what Susan Watjisky does not want from me. 0.94

01:05:09.000 So it's very refreshing to hear that coming from you.

01:05:12.000 And I'm going to put my nose down and I'm going to go hard and go big.

01:05:17.000 And I'm excited.

01:05:18.000 And I think we can do some damage here.

01:05:21.000 What do you think roughly will be your output?

01:05:22.000 What are you envisioning?

01:05:25.000 I mean, here's the God's honest truth.

01:05:29.000 My girlfriend's in Germany right now, and I'm in Rio.

01:05:31.000 And I tend to have nothing to do during the day, so I put in a lot of work.

01:05:36.000 So I'm cranking out five videos a week easily.

01:05:39.000 And, you know, they tend to be long, too.

01:05:42.000 I'm not dropping little five, ten minute things.

01:05:45.000 I am verbose, you could say.

01:05:47.000 But I want to keep the quality up, and I want to just dive into it.

01:05:51.000 I mean, good Lord, look at the freedom I have.

01:05:53.000 What kind of a ridiculous ideal job is this?

01:05:55.000 I could just go buck wild and do whatever I want, say whatever I want.

01:05:58.000 And yeah, this is perfect for me.

01:06:00.000 So I'm very happy to be here.

01:06:02.000 And I'm looking forward to defending everything you've ever said or ever will say in the future.

01:06:07.000 Yeah, yeah, that's what's going to happen.

01:06:10.000 When you get attacked for joining this network and they have a quote for me that's this long, say, I'm not going to discuss this with you unless you can give me 10 seconds before and 10 seconds after this snippet.

01:06:22.000 Right.

01:06:23.000 But the thing is with you, you are a comedian.

01:06:25.000 I mean, it's very apparent.

01:06:27.000 You're a funny man.

01:06:28.000 So why are they going after a jester like he's some ringleader?

01:06:33.000 It's absurd to me.

01:06:34.000 Because the jester has influence.

01:06:35.000 If John Belushi was supporting Trump, they would eat him alive.

01:06:39.000 Look what they do to Kanye.

01:06:41.000 He's a rapper, but they say, oh, he's mentally ill.

01:06:44.000 And they literally put him in a straitjacket and drag him to a loony bin.

01:06:49.000 Yeah, and speaking of comedians with balls, can I just say 2020, honorary mention, John Cleese, beautiful performance he's doing on Twitter.

01:06:58.000 He's pushing back on all the narratives, and I love the man.

01:07:01.000 Wonderful guy.

01:07:03.000 All right, man, I like you more than a friend, and I'm looking forward to your first video tomorrow morning.

01:07:08.000 It's up already, I think.

01:07:09.000 Tomorrow and tomorrow, both.

01:07:12.000 What do you mean, tomorrow and tomorrow?

01:07:14.000 I think that this video is already up.

01:07:15.000 Oh, you got a video up already?

01:07:17.000 Yeah.

01:07:18.000 You said it like a funny Canadian would say it, and I'm correcting you. 0.99

01:07:25.000 All right, man.

01:07:26.000 Thanks for coming on.

01:07:27.000 Looking forward to it.

01:07:28.000 A pleasure.

01:07:29.000 Have a good one, guys.

01:07:30.000 Cheers.

01:07:30.000 Pleasure too.

01:07:33.000 So he already put up the video?

01:07:35.000 Yep.

01:07:38.000 Exit music.

01:07:39.000 That's bad.

01:07:41.000 What?

01:07:42.000 Because I don't want people leaving our show to go watch it.

01:07:45.000 Stop! 1.00

01:07:45.000 They won't. 1.00

01:07:47.000 It's locked.

01:07:48.000 Stop what you're doing.

01:07:48.000 You know what we could do?

01:07:49.000 We could just watch it on here so that way it'll save them the trip.

01:07:53.000 Are you sure that it's visible to everyone?

01:07:56.000 Because my understanding was it wouldn't be available until tomorrow morning.

01:08:00.000 We could change it right now, but.

01:08:03.000 No, you don't do that.

01:08:05.000 Yeah, it's up.

01:08:07.000 But are we logged in in a weird way?

01:08:10.000 In a big way.

01:08:10.000 They can't.

01:08:12.000 That's fine.

01:08:12.000 All right.

01:08:13.000 They know it's popular.

01:08:14.000 They kind of know it's true.

01:08:15.000 After this show, that would be cool if he always has censored on the bunny.

01:08:15.000 All right.

01:08:22.000 That would be cool.

01:08:23.000 I think it's going to take a bunny forever.

01:08:25.000 Do you know why it's a kangaroo?

01:08:25.000 You know that.

01:08:27.000 No.

01:08:28.000 Because there was a debate about atheism where one of the guys said that there's no kangaroo bones anywhere but Australia.

01:08:40.000 Something like that, I'm ruining the thing.

01:08:42.000 So the only way kangaroos could have got to Australia was through Noah's Ark, which is a silly thing to say.

01:08:48.000 And so the kangaroo kangarooifies that silliness.

01:08:48.000 Gotcha.

01:08:53.000 Gotcha.

01:08:54.000 That's interesting.

01:08:54.000 Gotcha.

01:08:55.000 That's very cool.

01:08:56.000 That's actually pretty nice.

01:08:56.000 That's interesting.

01:08:58.000 Very cool.

01:08:58.000 You know what I noticed with most atheists, or a lot of them, they have went to military school or military.

01:09:05.000 Wait, what?

01:09:06.000 A Christian school, like a Catholic school.

01:09:08.000 Because Christianity was shitty to them. 1.00

01:09:10.000 They reject the actual, like the method in which they learn.

01:09:14.000 They reject their experience with the human, you know, moderation.

01:09:20.000 All right, so we'll take all of them.

01:09:21.000 So maybe stop talking.

01:09:25.000 Yeah, they've been wronged.

01:09:28.000 I find is pretty common because they get told Jesus is going to punish you.

01:09:32.000 Jesus is going to ruin you.

01:09:33.000 You have to fear Jesus.

01:09:34.000 And then one day they just go, actually, you know what?

01:09:36.000 Fuck you and fuck Jesus. 1.00

01:09:38.000 Whereas I'm coming from it, from a father who wants to fight me for baptizing my children and says that me bringing my kids to church is child abuse.

01:09:51.000 And we'll start, if he's drunk and God comes up, he'll just start pounding the fucking table screaming.

01:09:58.000 But yeah, I just feel it.

01:10:01.000 I look at like the way a tree works with the trunk and the branches going out.

01:10:05.000 And then I look at the veins on my eyes and I look at the pattern of moss, the way water drains through it on a rock.

01:10:12.000 And I keep seeing the same thing with the trunk and the other things going off, like a family tree.

01:10:18.000 And I just keep seeing these little calling cards where he's like, oh, that was for you.

01:10:22.000 It's this whole thing of like, do you really think we're, like, what are the chances that we're the only ones?

01:10:27.000 Like the alien argument?

01:10:28.000 Yeah, that's something we used to do in college.

01:10:31.000 One alien, please.

01:10:32.000 The most classic pro-deism argument is a watch, a wind blows through a garage with a bunch of shit in it, little bits of steel and stuff, and eventually, it makes a perfect watch.

01:10:47.000 And the atheists say, yes, that is pretty rare.

01:10:50.000 That shits and eats and pukes and violence.

01:10:53.000 But when you have an infinite amount of time to make that watch, it's not that impressive.

01:10:59.000 And to that, I say, okay, let's focus on the infinite amount of time part.

01:11:04.000 Isn't that kind of a trip?

01:11:06.000 Yeah.

01:11:07.000 Like I always say to atheists, just look up. 1.00

01:11:10.000 And I think another thing I've noticed about atheists is they come out swinging. 1.00

01:11:14.000 I'm not disparaging our friend, by the way.

01:11:17.000 I'm thinking more of Penn and Teller.

01:11:19.000 They come out swinging with like Noah's Ark is bullshit.

01:11:22.000 And there's this thing about the burning bush in the First Testament and all these little, you know, idiosyncrasies and contradictions in The Bible, and then they beat all that up, and then they start taking a step back and thinking more general terms about deism in general.

01:11:39.000 And they start going, All right, I don't like the details that those guys have, but I get that there's something fishy going on.

01:11:44.000 Like, I hate when Ricky Gervais says, Oh, so let me get this straight: there's 250 gods in the world, but your one is the right one.

01:11:53.000 And the other slack one less than you for wrong.

01:11:57.000 I just believe in the one less than you, right?

01:11:59.000 Do you know what I mean?

01:12:00.000 Yeah, I'm just one off.

01:12:04.000 If you believe in God, it's crazy.

01:12:06.000 It's like, no, Ricky.

01:12:07.000 I believe in animals.

01:12:08.000 We're all desperately trying to figure out what we know is inherently true.

01:12:13.000 I think Catholics did it best.

01:12:16.000 I think Muslims did it pretty bad. 1.00

01:12:18.000 I think that the cargo cult of Papua New Guinea, who worship planes, probably did it worse. 0.97

01:12:25.000 But we're all reacting to the same innate truth that we feel inside of us, that God has put in us, where we recognize that there's a higher power up there.

01:12:37.000 So it's not like my religion nullifies all the others.

01:12:41.000 We're all desperately clinging.

01:12:42.000 Oh, so he has a big beard and he plays a harp.

01:12:46.000 That was me trying to like draw him.

01:12:48.000 I know it's not a good drawing.

01:12:49.000 I know he's not an old man with a beard.

01:12:54.000 Get that card.

01:12:55.000 Oh, my God.

01:12:56.000 Every fucking time, loser pants. 0.91

01:12:59.000 It won't let it save for some reason.

01:13:02.000 Oh, wait.

01:13:03.000 Order were successful, Great.

01:13:09.000 I flashed my credit card on the phone on the show.

01:13:14.000 They're going to do a screen grab, and it flipped in the air, so they're going to see the expiry date and the number.

01:13:20.000 Maybe they wouldn't have done that if you didn't highlight exactly the number of people.

01:13:23.000 Maybe they'd be successful if I wasn't the cheapest person alive who meticulously checks every single charge on my credit card and calls and says, what's this chubby black girl's porn site that someone used my credit card for at four in the morning? 1.00

01:13:39.000 Here's a picture of you with your webcam dialing it in.

01:13:45.000 All right.

01:13:46.000 Thank you.

01:13:49.000 You say thank you too?

01:13:50.000 Well, that's good.

01:13:51.000 You want to take a call?

01:13:53.000 I've almost never caught a fake thing.

01:13:58.000 Like I did.

01:14:00.000 I had a Mexican who stole my number and took a first-class train ticket from New York to LA. 1.00

01:14:06.000 But that must have been 20 years ago.

01:14:09.000 I don't think I've found any.

01:14:10.000 I've found things I signed up for that I forgot about.

01:14:13.000 But as far as like identity fraud, I think they pretty much had that locked down.

01:14:16.000 Yeah.

01:14:17.000 I keep my people in my family, my grandmother, doesn't want to use her credit card at all.

01:14:23.000 And I'm telling her, you should hope that you get your identity stolen because it's so rare.

01:14:28.000 And you could just sue or something.

01:14:30.000 They're going to take care of you.

01:14:31.000 It'll be so rare.

01:14:32.000 You just get your money back.

01:14:33.000 It's just a pain in the ass.

01:14:34.000 And it takes about 60 days to get your money back.

01:14:36.000 So once again, Detective Shitty ruins the day.

01:14:40.000 I'm going to replenish these and get some paper for our drawings.

01:14:43.000 By the way, new auction up.

01:14:47.000 Have you got the link for that, Rygai?

01:14:48.000 I think she included you in that.

01:14:51.000 It's a fun one this time because it's not just Googles from GOML Live.

01:14:56.000 God, I got to get a barber on. 0.99

01:14:57.000 I'm wearing a fucking hair beret, a hair A. I'm Hair A. All right, so we have what's his name's drawing there?

01:15:05.000 Brian John Spencer.

01:15:06.000 Now, I actually don't own this yet.

01:15:08.000 I'm going to buy it off of him for $150 and pray that it goes for more than $150.

01:15:16.000 Then I'll take my money back, I guess?

01:15:17.000 Oh, probably not.

01:15:19.000 And then donate it all to Justice4Liberty.com.

01:15:23.000 But if you scroll down, you see, click on them, I think, and you can just go one by one, right?

01:15:29.000 Oink Oink Monster. 0.98

01:15:30.000 Now, this is kind of small.

01:15:31.000 That's an 8.5 by 11, but that is the exact drawing that is on the t-shirt of oink oink you monster.

01:15:36.000 And it's a great reminder of this insane time we're living in, where this stupid bitch was protesting the MTA wanting more officers. 1.00

01:15:47.000 This is before the MTA stopped having officers and the New York City subways turned into nothing but shit and piss.

01:15:53.000 So she got her way.

01:15:55.000 It's oink oink you monster to want more cops.

01:15:59.000 She got no cops and the subway got lots of plops.

01:16:03.000 And what I love about this is she's fucking crying, but she's holding the tiny sign by her face at a rally where no one's going to see it.

01:16:13.000 And she made it with liquid paper.

01:16:15.000 Anyway, I just love that.

01:16:16.000 And every time I see a cop, I pull it up on my phone.

01:16:19.000 They never laugh, by the way, which maybe I should stop doing that.

01:16:22.000 This was, I was sitting with my son and I said, he said to me, draw the scariest thing you can imagine.

01:16:30.000 So I drew that.

01:16:31.000 I call him Gorgon.

01:16:35.000 That's, you remember that from a couple weeks ago, drawing my bike?

01:16:38.000 I was moving the motorcycle around because I'd had a few drinks.

01:16:41.000 So it's like nine different perspectives in one.

01:16:46.000 This is the history of America.

01:16:48.000 Now, we're probably going to print this out and make it into a poster or something.

01:16:52.000 I'm very happy with it.

01:16:54.000 Wait, what the fuck is that?

01:16:55.000 It's got a little scroll there.

01:16:56.000 Oh, to show you the context, I guess.

01:16:56.000 There's two or three.

01:16:58.000 Yep.

01:17:00.000 But you'll have the original.

01:17:01.000 You can see, and I have a lot of white out.

01:17:03.000 I use a lot of white gouache every time I made a mistake, so you'll have that authenticity.

01:17:09.000 History of Western civilization.

01:17:13.000 That was from last week.

01:17:16.000 Lettering is top-notch.

01:17:18.000 And that's that.

01:17:19.000 That's that.

01:17:20.000 So how do they get there?

01:17:21.000 They go to charityauctions today.com slash auctions slash Gavin's Doodles for Liberty, or they can go to the website and it's under the links.

01:17:29.000 Okay.

01:17:31.000 So why don't you switch to your face while I stock up on my Bazoos? 0.99

01:17:35.000 Ash for Ships.

01:17:37.000 All right.

01:17:39.000 We could, we have David on the line.

01:17:43.000 Oh, yeah.

01:17:44.000 Hey, David, you're on the line and you're also a winner for plenty of gifts.

01:17:48.000 Two pairs of Heshy socks, some CBD, I think three months free of the VPN.

01:17:54.000 Yep.

01:17:55.000 And Bubba and Hanks.

01:18:02.000 Oh, my God.

01:18:03.000 What a serendipitous moment.

01:18:05.000 Yes.

01:18:05.000 I'm just kidding.

01:18:06.000 I'm that gay.

01:18:08.000 Yeah, thank you.

01:18:08.000 Have you won before?

01:18:10.000 Yeah.

01:18:11.000 Oh, no.

01:18:12.000 I haven't.

01:18:13.000 You swear to God?

01:18:16.000 No.

01:18:17.000 Yeah.

01:18:17.000 I mean, I don't want we have to bring God into this.

01:18:20.000 That's retarded. 1.00

01:18:21.000 Yeah, this is the first time I actually got through.

01:18:22.000 Thank you.

01:18:23.000 Oh, cool.

01:18:23.000 Well, congrats.

01:18:25.000 I'll call you after the show and get your info.

01:18:28.000 So what is your question here?

01:18:31.000 Oh, yeah.

01:18:32.000 Well, like, I was the one who sent in that video, you know, that email with the, you know, the rich inequality shit, you know, that Gavin read and that's been sending around through like some of the biggest like corporations.

01:18:44.000 And they're still going in with all these meetings that we have to go through.

01:18:48.000 And, you know, like you're talking about, you know, companies with 300,000 plus employees.

01:18:54.000 Wait, stop, stop, stop.

01:18:56.000 Stop, stop, stop.

01:18:57.000 Do you mean the PDF that that woman sent where she had the three pictures of Sandra Bland, Trayvon Martin, and like George Floyd or whatever?

01:19:09.000 Yep, yep.

01:19:10.000 What was amazing about that too is she said Sandra Bland allegedly hanged herself in her cell, which is not alleged.

01:19:10.000 Yeah.

01:19:17.000 She did.

01:19:18.000 But she goes, many suspect foul play.

01:19:21.000 So in an informative PDF, she's accusing the cops of hanging someone.

01:19:27.000 Lynching.

01:19:29.000 Oh, yeah.

01:19:30.000 Yeah.

01:19:31.000 Well, I mean, there's so much misinformation, but then like when they open it up, like these little like town halls they call it, you know, they have everyone with their own anecdotes.

01:19:41.000 And it's the most annoying thing.

01:19:43.000 And it's just like, look, you don't know how to fucking deal with adversity?

01:19:46.000 I'm like, there's no solutions here.

01:19:49.000 It's all like a big rah-rah fucking town hall.

01:19:51.000 It's like, look, everyone goes through shit in their life, right?

01:19:54.000 Everyone's been through it.

01:19:55.000 You know, like the whole like little, you know, like the whole, you know, the motto of the show, get fired.

01:20:01.000 It's like, yeah, deal with adversity.

01:20:04.000 You don't have to fucking cry and be a victim.

01:20:06.000 And you hear, it's just, no, this is almost the fourth week in a row of this shit.

01:20:11.000 And I'm like, it's so divisive in a company that's big.

01:20:14.000 It's just like, all right, no one gives a shit.

01:20:16.000 No one cares that you're a faggot or you're a pussy. 1.00

01:20:19.000 And you're looking like a pussy constantly complaining about how hard your life is. 1.00

01:20:23.000 Like imagine a redhead or an albino or someone with a, I was with the guy, dad at a baseball game today, and one of his arms is just an elephant's trunk.

01:20:31.000 I think it got like caught up around his umbilical cord when he was a baby.

01:20:35.000 And he has to hold things like in a weird little Dr. Zeus way.

01:20:39.000 Like if he kept talking about the nicknames people had from in grade school and how hard it is to play catch with his son because he has to throw and catch with the same hand, it would be depressing.

01:20:49.000 I just go, why don't you get over it, dude?

01:20:52.000 And being black is not being crippled.

01:20:54.000 You know, I was thinking today, I'm the victim of the N-word, Nazi.

01:20:59.000 That is our N-word.

01:21:02.000 And, you know, you've harassed my family, vandalized my car, ostracized my children, destroyed my daughter's social life, banned her from schools when I tried to take her out of school and put her into private school.

01:21:13.000 You've destroyed my bank account, put my friends in prison for four years, made it illegal basically for me to hang out with my men's club, my friends, banned me from everything, got me fired from all these different jobs just because of that N-word allegation.

01:21:33.000 Yeah, it's completely person a long time ago, Anthony Cumia, we hung out, we had drinks.

01:21:41.000 When you had that pussy jack on, whatever, we were trying to make him look like a man. 1.00

01:21:46.000 I was a guy wearing shower shoes and, you know, because I stepped in human shit on my way there.

01:21:52.000 So it's all I had in my luggage because I was visiting from Texas.

01:21:56.000 We laughed about it on the show and we drank for like three hours.

01:21:58.000 You could have been the nicest person in the world, you know, great guy, great family guy.

01:22:04.000 And it's unbelievable that the whole world thinks that you're a Nazi.

01:22:09.000 Well, I think it's because I'm a nice guy that they say it's he's too hard to like Richard Spencer, David Duke, they're easy to vilify.

01:22:17.000 They look weird.

01:22:18.000 They don't have families.

01:22:19.000 They're not funny.

01:22:20.000 But if I'm saying Trump rocks and you don't need to be ashamed of yourself and their whole narrative is bullshit and it's coming from John Belushi and Animal House, that's fucking dangerous.

01:22:32.000 Oh, yeah.

01:22:33.000 I remember talking about you like after when I came back from Texas at my job in the same place that's putting, pushing all this shit out.

01:22:40.000 And everyone's like, what?

01:22:43.000 You shouldn't.

01:22:44.000 I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

01:22:45.000 They also said Beto was a sagger because we were in Texas and some guy had a sticker on his car too.

01:22:50.000 And it was during that time when he was running.

01:22:51.000 But yeah, I was like, you don't even know what the hell you're talking about.

01:22:56.000 I was like, I'm like, where are you getting information?

01:22:58.000 You guys are so fucking stupid.

01:23:00.000 You don't read anything.

01:23:02.000 And it's, I don't know.

01:23:07.000 It's just very gay. 1.00

01:23:08.000 That's all I have to say.

01:23:09.000 It is super gay. 1.00

01:23:11.000 Thanks for coming, buddy.

01:23:11.000 All right.

01:23:12.000 It is so good.

01:23:14.000 Good to reconnect.

01:23:16.000 It's just gay. 1.00

01:23:18.000 By the way, Ryan and I were having a very intellectual discussion about the word gay the other day.

01:23:21.000 And it was based on this cringe video we saw on Cringe Reddit where this guy leaves, it's a voice message he's left on his friend's phone, and they both appear to be 14, 13.

01:23:34.000 And it actually sounds to me like a 14-year-old leaving a message on a 13-year-old's phone.

01:23:39.000 And he says, you're just jealous of what my guitar hands can do, and you know that they do things that yours will never be able to do.

01:23:49.000 So you're gay. 0.96

01:23:52.000 And then he plays a really shitty Metallica.

01:23:56.000 Hey, you're just mad because I'll be able to do something with my fucking guitar and hands that you'll never be able to achieve in your entire life, kid.

01:24:03.000 So yeah, you're gay. 0.95

01:24:04.000 *music*

01:24:11.000 Wait a minute.

01:24:13.000 I'm starting to think that's fake.

01:24:15.000 Well, like it was set up.

01:24:16.000 Just a funny guy.

01:24:17.000 Well, they might be on friendly terms, but that's still.

01:24:20.000 No.

01:24:21.000 Yeah, I kind of get a hilarious message.

01:24:24.000 I smelled it a little bit.

01:24:25.000 It accidentally ended up on cringe.

01:24:27.000 He knows that that.

01:24:28.000 He knows that sucks.

01:24:28.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:24:30.000 But anyway, that doesn't hurt my point.

01:24:33.000 The beauty of that little clip is when he says you're gay, that's the way we use you're gay. 0.92

01:24:39.000 And what you're actually doing is you're hearkening back to your youth when you said stupid shit like that.

01:24:47.000 So when you say you're gay, it's like when I as a 49-year-old will say to like baseball dads, dude, did you see Baala?

01:24:57.000 Or duh?

01:24:58.000 Or one of my boxing buddies the other day, he bit down on his mouth guard so hard that he forgot to breathe and he had a panic attack.

01:25:07.000 And he goes, I feel like such a pussy at fighting doc.

01:25:10.000 I had a fucking panic attack because I stopped breathing.

01:25:13.000 He goes, it's so stupid.

01:25:14.000 And then I texted him, it's also gay.

01:25:18.000 Now, I don't mean he's a homosexual who sucks dicks. 0.77

01:25:21.000 I'm taking his pain and his frustration and bringing us both back to when we were 12.

01:25:28.000 And that's my way of saying, who cares?

01:25:30.000 You know what I mean?

01:25:31.000 So it's actually kind of intellectual to say gay because you're being stupid and retarded and brilliant at the same time. 1.00

01:25:38.000 Yes.

01:25:39.000 Right, Ryan?

01:25:40.000 Correct.

01:25:40.000 It's both retarded and genius at the same time.

01:25:46.000 Yes.

01:25:47.000 Are you with me?

01:25:49.000 And in some ways, they are retarded and in some ways they're geniuses. 0.93

01:25:57.000 That's what gay is in a nutshell. 1.00

01:25:59.000 It has so little to do with them.

01:26:01.000 Pro-gay. 0.71

01:26:02.000 Maybe homosexuals are mad because they sense it has nothing to do with them. 1.00

01:26:05.000 And you're like, stop using my word without thinking about me.

01:26:10.000 Sorry, fag. 1.00

01:26:11.000 You talk like a f ⁇ and your sh ⁇ 's all retarded. 1.00

01:26:15.000 That's when we had to be censored.

01:26:16.000 Ugh.

01:26:18.000 We got Nick.

01:26:19.000 Hi, Nick.

01:26:21.000 I don't know what to drop.

01:26:22.000 How's it going?

01:26:23.000 What's up, dude?

01:26:26.000 So just hanging out in the Gavin McInnes Discord, which is now on riot.

01:26:31.000 But I think a lot of us were kind of disappointed that it wasn't going to be Sam Hyde tonight.

01:26:37.000 Oh.

01:26:37.000 Yeah, sure.

01:26:38.000 I mean, I'm sure the Beatles were bummed that Jimi Hendrix doesn't want to play guitar for them.

01:26:43.000 But Sam's got his...

01:26:45.000 Not that...

01:26:50.000 I don't mean to imply that.

01:26:52.000 But Sam Hyde isn't a team player.

01:26:56.000 He's got his own thing going on, and it's fucking weird.

01:27:01.000 Actually, that makes the Jimi Hendrix analogy good, too, because Jimmy was not really a band guy.

01:27:06.000 He was like an unconventional solo guy.

01:27:08.000 Yeah.

01:27:09.000 He's a weirdo.

01:27:10.000 And I don't, I mean, maybe we'll merge one day.

01:27:14.000 Yeah, I just, I think you would find a lot of support from pretty much everybody in our group if you had that decision.

01:27:23.000 Definitely, dude.

01:27:24.000 And I've suggested it to him.

01:27:27.000 I mean, Ezra Levant worked his ass off to get Sam Hyde on.

01:27:32.000 And the numbers just kept going up, up, up, up, up until it was just ridiculous.

01:27:35.000 I want him on it.

01:27:36.000 He's a funny man.

01:27:36.000 He's funny.

01:27:38.000 But is there a civil war between the subscribers of the show here where some are going to the new Discord and some are going to gavinmckinnis.win?

01:27:47.000 Dude, Discord is fucked.

01:27:50.000 Like, Discord is fucking over with.

01:27:52.000 I know, but aren't there two new things and they're competing?

01:27:57.000 The main one, as far as I'm concerned, maybe I don't know the whole scoop, is on riot.im.

01:28:03.000 And it's nearly as good as Discord, but no censorship.

01:28:07.000 So you don't go to GavinMcInnis.win?

01:28:12.000 I haven't, but maybe I'll think about it.

01:28:15.000 Maybe you'll think about it.

01:28:17.000 Wow.

01:28:18.000 That's quite a commitment.

01:28:20.000 Hey, I have everything I need here on Riot.

01:28:23.000 Yeah.

01:28:24.000 Well, it's basically at the Reddit.

01:28:25.000 There's still, when both things existed, I still went to the Reddit, and then I would also go to the Discord department.

01:28:30.000 Well, let's see the Riot.im.

01:28:33.000 That one?

01:28:34.000 How do we get there?

01:28:35.000 That's a good question.

01:28:36.000 Well, we got the guy.

01:28:38.000 I can maybe send Ryan the link or something.

01:28:41.000 Okay.

01:28:42.000 I think I got...

01:28:50.000 It's kind of tricky, but I can send you the link in the email.

01:28:54.000 You click on the link.

01:28:55.000 I think Napalm is still the administrator.

01:28:59.000 Okay.

01:29:00.000 It's very similar to Discord.

01:29:03.000 Everything's encrypted, so it's a little safer.

01:29:05.000 It's a little boomer unfriendly, but I was able to figure it out. 1.00

01:29:11.000 Cool.

01:29:12.000 All right, cool.

01:29:13.000 Thanks for calling, dude.

01:29:13.000 All right.

01:29:15.000 And they're all asking for Ryan to do the Buffalo Bill impression.

01:29:19.000 Oh, thanks, guys.

01:29:20.000 Bye.

01:29:20.000 All right.

01:29:22.000 All right, do it, motherfucker.

01:29:24.000 Would you fuck me? 0.62

01:29:25.000 I don't even do a Buffalo Bill impression.

01:29:27.000 Yeah.

01:29:27.000 Oh, really?

01:29:28.000 Oh, is that like a new gag?

01:29:30.000 I don't know.

01:29:31.000 Because that was our gag in high school.

01:29:33.000 We'd always say, oh, my God, do your Garfield.

01:29:36.000 And the other guy, then the you guy would go, I don't, I don't know.

01:29:40.000 I was like, you stop.

01:29:41.000 Stop being such a chicken.

01:29:43.000 He always does.

01:29:44.000 They're going to love it.

01:29:45.000 I don't do a Garfield.

01:29:47.000 I'm going to fucking kill you if you deny this one more time.

01:29:49.000 This always happens.

01:29:50.000 You deny it.

01:29:52.000 And then you finally do it and everyone screams.

01:29:55.000 And you start getting angry.

01:29:56.000 You're like, dude, do it.

01:29:58.000 Well, that's a victory if the guy gets mad.

01:30:00.000 Oh, I see.

01:30:01.000 You get mad because he's not doing it.

01:30:02.000 But if the guy gets mad, it's also awesome.

01:30:05.000 And then what would sometimes happen is the guy would go, my only way out of this shit is to do a Garfield.

01:30:10.000 So he'd be like, oh, I hate Mondays.

01:30:13.000 And then everyone would go, and move on to a new subject.

01:30:20.000 We should do now.

01:30:21.000 We got Joshua talking about motorcycles.

01:30:24.000 Go ahead there, Joshua.

01:30:27.000 Hey, how's it going?

01:30:29.000 How's it going, eh?

01:30:30.000 Yeah, like Gavin for introducing me to motorcycles because I keep giving rides to five out of tens, and they won't leave me alone now because they like the feeling.

01:30:40.000 Yep, it sends a good message.

01:30:41.000 And it's not just their clit vibrating, it's that they're hugging you.

01:30:46.000 And they better keep hugging you or they will die.

01:30:51.000 100%.

01:30:51.000 They feel safe in my arms.

01:30:53.000 And I don't even have abs, man.

01:30:54.000 They're just grabbing onto my fat rolls.

01:30:58.000 Yeah, I can't tell if you're Making fun of me or not, but I don't care because I believe this to be true.

01:31:04.000 Oh no, I'm being authentic here.

01:31:08.000 I can't get these girls to leave me alone. 1.00

01:31:11.000 But, anyways, I was wondering: is it gay to have other people work on your bike and your cars?

01:31:20.000 It was in the 80s when it was pretty easy to figure out yourself.

01:31:25.000 But it's definitely not gay to have your car worked on. 0.99

01:31:30.000 I mean, when I open my BMW, it's all locked.

01:31:34.000 Like, you can't even see the engine.

01:31:36.000 Same with the new Lexus.

01:31:37.000 It's just sealed.

01:31:39.000 So, but it is a little bit gay. 0.78

01:31:42.000 Here's what, here, okay, let's define the parameters.

01:31:45.000 If when you YouTube the repair, it looks like a fucking nightmare, you're allowed to send it to a mechanic.

01:31:52.000 For example, my bike right now, if I indicate left, it just, it does hazards.

01:32:00.000 And so I looked it up on YouTube and it's like, today we're going to show you what to do when both your signals go off at the same time when you try to indicate.

01:32:07.000 Now, first we're going to, and I looked at it, it was like 40 minutes of this spaghetti ball of wires.

01:32:13.000 And I was like, I'm out.

01:32:14.000 I'll rather pay $120 to have some dude do this. 1.00

01:32:17.000 So if it looks doable on YouTube, you have to do it yourself.

01:32:24.000 Also, I know you got to try Bonneville.

01:32:26.000 Do you have one of the newer fuel-injected ones, or you have a carbureted one?

01:32:31.000 Yeah.

01:32:32.000 I have a...

01:32:36.000 I think it's a...

01:32:37.000 I think I have a...

01:32:37.000 What year?

01:32:41.000 97...

01:32:46.000 I think I have a 97.

01:32:48.000 Okay, so it's carbureted, but it's not one of the old ones from the 60s and 70s.

01:32:52.000 No, no, of course not.

01:32:53.000 No, no, but it's designed to look like that.

01:32:56.000 This particular model was like a homage to the old days.

01:33:01.000 Yeah, I had a 2013.

01:33:03.000 It looked exactly like the 97, the ones from the early 2000s.

01:33:06.000 Those were carbureted.

01:33:07.000 Mine was fuel-injected.

01:33:08.000 It had a fake float bowl, a fake carburetor on it.

01:33:11.000 It looked super funny, but yeah.

01:33:14.000 I've never heard about those.

01:33:15.000 That's such a weird thing to do.

01:33:18.000 Does mine have a fake carburetor?

01:33:20.000 Yeah, instead of a choke.

01:33:22.000 Yeah, instead of the choke, it was like an idle control.

01:33:24.000 So basically, it was a cruise control.

01:33:26.000 I could use it as a cruise control as I'm going like 30 miles an hour, and it'll keep it at 30.

01:33:33.000 Right, but they say that my choke is fake, but it's very clear when I start it, if I pull out the choke, I get a much higher rev. If yours is a 97, it's definitely a carbureted model.

01:33:46.000 I think they started the fuel injection in 2008.

01:33:50.000 All right.

01:33:51.000 Okay, we're boring the chicks on the show, but I actually find that very interesting. 0.91

01:33:56.000 Thanks for calling, buddy.

01:33:58.000 Okay, thank you.

01:34:00.000 One thing I would add to that caller's point is if you don't need like a 1200 Harley to get pussy, and this is what I kept trying to say to Rat, the fucking guy who started the Proud Boys by being such a pussy that it drove us all insane.

01:34:17.000 You can have a 50cc thing.

01:34:19.000 Like when you think about when you're a young man going to parties and stuff, you're not on the fucking I-95 for three hours.

01:34:26.000 You're like going from Joey Delvecchio's house to Martin Scrubble's house.

01:34:32.000 They're like three miles apart.

01:34:36.000 That probably vibrates the clip more.

01:34:38.000 That's what it sounds like, too.

01:34:40.000 I have a tip.

01:34:41.000 Somebody asks you some question about motorcycles and you don't know what it is, you say, I don't know what it's called, but I know the sound it makes when it takes a man's life.

01:34:53.000 Raising variable motorcycle danger.

01:34:57.000 Thank you, Ryan, for that.

01:34:59.000 Okay.

01:35:00.000 Safe haven cases.

01:35:03.000 Is that it?

01:35:04.000 Oh, MD.

01:35:04.000 Hello?

01:35:06.000 How?

01:35:08.000 How weird.

01:35:09.000 Because you said you're boring the chicks on the show. 1.00

01:35:12.000 But yeah, my dad built and rode Harley's for like $6.50.

01:35:18.000 And yeah, it's a little gay if you don't know how to work on your own bike.

01:35:24.000 I'll take that.

01:35:25.000 I'll take that hit.

01:35:27.000 I'll take that on the chin.

01:35:29.000 We've had you before, right?

01:35:31.000 Sorry.

01:35:32.000 Yeah.

01:35:35.000 Cases.

01:35:36.000 So my sister told me this story.

01:35:41.000 A patient of hers said that her daughter went to go get COVID testing with her friend, and they checked in, and the line was so long that they just ended up leaving because it was taking hours.

01:35:54.000 Then they got a call later saying that they tested positive and they didn't even get tested.

01:36:01.000 That's amazing.

01:36:02.000 Yeah, dude.

01:36:03.000 Oh, shit.

01:36:04.000 Okay, so what is America up to?

01:36:06.000 120,000 now?

01:36:10.000 Something crazy.

01:36:11.000 What do you guess it really is?

01:36:18.000 Just go with you, Dad.

01:36:19.000 Don't worry.

01:36:22.000 Shit, maybe like what number did you say?

01:36:31.000 20?

01:36:31.000 No, this is...

01:36:38.000 It's nothing like what they're saying, but it's still a doozy of a flu season.

01:36:43.000 I think it's 80.

01:36:47.000 It's less to 150?

01:36:50.000 So they say 150?

01:36:51.000 I think it's half that.

01:36:56.000 Damn.

01:36:56.000 I don't know.

01:36:57.000 Hey, can I also get a personal first question?

01:36:59.000 Yes, you may.

01:37:03.000 And ended up, she's like sneaking around behind my back with my older brother.

01:37:10.000 Wait, who is?

01:37:13.000 Who is?

01:37:15.000 My best friend.

01:37:16.000 And I have a friend, Kaylee, who listens to the show, and she said that she has no self-control, this girl who lied to me about sleeping with my older brother and stuff.

01:37:26.000 And I should just dump her.

01:37:27.000 But then I look on the internet, and it says you Can't control who people are dating and stuff.

01:37:32.000 So, what's your take?

01:37:33.000 Should I be mad that she lied and was sleeping with my older brother?

01:37:36.000 No, you're clearly very sensitive about it, so maybe she should have lied.

01:37:42.000 You know, before social media and all this, you would talk to people and you'd say, How did you meet your wife?

01:37:47.000 And he goes, Oh, especially in Europe.

01:37:49.000 I always ask Europeans, and they go, Well, she was my best friend's sister.

01:37:54.000 We had a lot in common.

01:37:56.000 I mean, you know, you like your best friend, and his sister is basically him with tits in a vagina, so it's a good pair-up. 1.00

01:38:03.000 I think that you should mine your own beeswax and let them procreate. 0.90

01:38:11.000 Unless you like your brother or something.

01:38:14.000 There's some girls that are jealous about their mother. 1.00

01:38:16.000 I mean, there's something wrong about it.

01:38:18.000 It's kind of like she was in my home and she was like, you know, just saying, no, we're not doing anything.

01:38:25.000 And then later.

01:38:26.000 She's clearly really sensitive about it.

01:38:28.000 So she didn't want to fuck it up.

01:38:32.000 It's been like three days.

01:38:35.000 So what?

01:38:36.000 Oh, my God.

01:38:36.000 She lied to me about sex.

01:38:37.000 Sex, it's none of your fucking business. 0.80

01:38:42.000 That's hurtful.

01:38:43.000 You want to hurt me today.

01:38:44.000 Yeah, I know.

01:38:45.000 I did it on purpose.

01:38:47.000 All right, thank you.

01:38:48.000 You have and leave your poor brother and his girlfriend alone.

01:38:52.000 Jesus, it's so hard to get laid these days.

01:38:55.000 You'd think you would, when someone finally figured it out, help guide it in.

01:39:00.000 Come here, bro, bro.

01:39:01.000 How dare you fuck my brother? 0.89

01:39:03.000 What do you want me to do with him?

01:39:06.000 Gus.

01:39:07.000 What up, Gus?

01:39:11.000 Hello?

01:39:13.000 Hello?

01:39:15.000 Hi, so I was calling.

01:39:17.000 I met like an hour out of Seattle, and you said that we should just let these protests continue to go on because it's going to show the left how crazy and how insane they are.

01:39:33.000 But it doesn't seem to be working.

01:39:37.000 I have a friend who just became a teacher.

01:39:43.000 She's from the same area.

01:39:45.000 I didn't know that she was crazy or whatever, but her best friend was a police officer.

01:39:54.000 And I say was because the guy was shot and killed by a black crackhead when he was doing like a routine stop on somebody. 0.99

01:40:06.000 And then this girl still continues to like post up on social media and say all this nonsense about racism when like one of her best friends murdered. 1.00

01:40:19.000 Do you bring that up with her?

01:40:23.000 Yeah.

01:40:25.000 It's like, I don't know.

01:40:29.000 It's just non-stop dogma with her and everybody else.

01:40:34.000 And they all just keep repeating the same talking points, but all have like real life experiences that would prove the other.

01:40:46.000 And they continue to just keep plowing through and not making sense of anything.

01:40:51.000 I love how their new thing is read a book.

01:40:54.000 You need to read a book about white fragility. 1.00

01:41:00.000 And you're like, can I read a book like Pat Buchanan's The Unnecessary War?

01:41:04.000 Can I read that?

01:41:05.000 No, no, no.

01:41:06.000 It's got to be Taneshi Coates.

01:41:08.000 Oh, so basically a fictional version of the same bullshit claptrap you're spouting at me right now.

01:41:16.000 Yeah, she told me she just picked up The New Jim Crow, and I should really read it to understand what's going on.

01:41:24.000 The new Jim Crow. 0.93

01:41:25.000 And I was just like, yeah, I got it.

01:41:27.000 Wrong.

01:41:28.000 Yeah, thanks a lot.

01:41:30.000 Well, I would argue that that woman is irreparable. 1.00

01:41:35.000 And when she starts saying all this dumb shit, people around her that used to listen to her, sane people, and again, all we can hope for is the sane people.

01:41:49.000 So I'm hoping the sane people see that, see her throw her dead cop friend under the bus and go, all right, I'm done listening to these motherfuckers. 0.92

01:41:59.000 It's time to get real.

01:42:02.000 Yeah, my brother-in-law, he's an engineer for Amazon, and he knows how I think politically, so he always tries to get me with these little subtle jabs, you know?

01:42:15.000 And somehow the concept of theft came up, and he said that, well, now being a thief can lead to greater things in life because Trump stole his whole life and he became president.

01:42:31.000 And he stole his whole life because his dad loaned him money or gave him money?

01:42:37.000 No, he doesn't back anything up with any facts or anything.

01:42:41.000 He just spouts this out and then waits for you to have something to come back.

01:42:45.000 But when it's like so ridiculous, you just sit and stare at him and go, what the fuck do I do with this?

01:42:52.000 Stole his whole life.

01:42:53.000 Why don't you steal your whole life if it's so easy?

01:42:56.000 Is that why he's not as rich as Trump?

01:42:58.000 Because he's so moral that he doesn't steal?

01:43:03.000 Is that what's holding everyone back from being as rich as Trump?

01:43:06.000 Just not taking the gold bars that are sitting right there that aren't yours?

01:43:11.000 Wrong.

01:43:15.000 Yeah, I mean, Seattle has gone down the drain pretty quick.

01:43:21.000 Well, I had friends from New York who moved there recently, and I was checking, and our kids are friends, and I was checking on her fucking Instagram recently, and it's like she joined a cult.

01:43:33.000 Like, she's just gone.

01:43:37.000 Yeah.

01:43:38.000 All right.

01:43:39.000 Yeah, it's really strange how they all just continue to just keep running with it and jumping with this same narrative with nothing to back it up.

01:43:47.000 Communism is a faith.

01:43:49.000 It's a religion.

01:43:50.000 And you can't convince someone to stop their faith.

01:43:54.000 Facts don't stop faith.

01:43:56.000 So communism is the new Christianity in their world. 0.99

01:44:02.000 But more people die.

01:44:04.000 All right, thanks for calling, man.

01:44:07.000 All right, we got Joe.

01:44:10.000 Joe.

01:44:11.000 Yo, Gaze.

01:44:12.000 Yo, what's up, SA?

01:44:17.000 Hey, man.

01:44:18.000 So, when are you going to do some skits?

01:44:22.000 When are we going to do some kid fucking?

01:44:23.000 Skits, fuck.

01:44:24.000 Oh.

01:44:25.000 Yo.

01:44:26.000 Skits, man.

01:44:28.000 Damn it, bro.

01:44:29.000 Yeah, I got to get on that.

01:44:30.000 I'm sorry.

01:44:31.000 You know, I can do two things a day, I've learned over the years.

01:44:35.000 And boxing is the morning, and then this show is the rest of the day.

01:44:39.000 And then I have a few other errands and stuff.

01:44:41.000 And the idea of like also shooting a sketch, when I would do sketches with the Rooster and stuff, we got like 15 grand and had like 10 days and nothing else to do.

01:44:52.000 They're not easy to pull off, these things.

01:44:55.000 What guys, though?

01:44:57.000 What?

01:44:58.000 Like, you have Ryan, you have...

01:45:02.000 I mean, I don't obviously like Biggs in Florida, but I feel like those guys do skits too.

01:45:10.000 Steven Crowder?

01:45:11.000 No, Biggs.

01:45:12.000 Biggs in Florida to do skits and stuff like that.

01:45:15.000 Biggs and Ryan.

01:45:17.000 Oh, me and Biggs?

01:45:18.000 You know, I've been meaning to want to...

01:45:22.000 You don't have to do it together.

01:45:24.000 We could, though.

01:45:25.000 But to film him.

01:45:26.000 The thing is, I don't know who he's got to film, so I think, you know, it would be good for me to film and edit it.

01:45:32.000 All right.

01:45:33.000 Thanks for calling.

01:45:34.000 We'll get on that.

01:45:34.000 Thanks.

01:45:35.000 Yeah, I've been meaning to do that.

01:45:37.000 He wanted to go on a hunting trip.

01:45:39.000 I thought that would have been great.

01:45:40.000 Yeah, I got fired.

01:45:43.000 You're on the line.

01:45:44.000 My brother Ryan, best open yet, man.

01:45:48.000 I love when you guys let that bumper run.

01:45:50.000 Wednesday!

01:45:52.000 Wednesdays do not have to compete with Crowder.

01:45:55.000 Anyways, I got fired.

01:45:56.000 I got in trouble.

01:45:58.000 I'm still brave, and I've been scrapping for a long time, so I'll never stop fighting.

01:46:01.000 But I called a local politician, you know, a radical atheist, feminist, you know, one of the believes that you can abort a baby on its due date because it's my body, my choice.

01:46:12.000 And she was tweeting stuff like Jesus fucking Christ all the time. 1.00

01:46:12.000 Right. 1.00

01:46:16.000 And I just think as an elected official, I'm not, you know, disrespected as a Christian.

01:46:22.000 I don't care about all that much, but I think it's disrespectful of people's all faith.

01:46:25.000 So anyways, I got online, I did a little skit one night, had a few drinks, and I, you know, I, I said something unkind.

01:46:34.000 I said basically this.

01:46:35.000 Why do you hate all Christians?

01:46:36.000 I mean, we built your fucking society, you dumb fucking cunt.

01:46:40.000 So a month later, I get a call from local media, and it makes like the headlines in my town because nothing's going on.

01:46:47.000 I'm like, whatever.

01:46:48.000 Todd Castor says bad thing about local politician or whatever.

01:46:53.000 And so I took 30 days of hate mail on social media beatings.

01:46:56.000 But then I get a Facebook request from a guy that used to watch my Terminated YouTube channel where I promoted you quite a bit and who turned into a sub for censor.tv and dude built me a pirate ship with like in 18 hours.

01:47:10.000 He's got the, out of love, he's got a template up, whatever.

01:47:14.000 We're ready to go.

01:47:14.000 So I owe that kind of to you.

01:47:16.000 I thank you very much.

01:47:18.000 Wait, who is this?

01:47:19.000 Are you the guy that thought he was marrying that chick?

01:47:22.000 Yeah, it's Jim.

01:47:24.000 I love you, Claudia.

01:47:24.000 Oh, yeah.

01:47:26.000 Sorry, hashtag Claudia.

01:47:27.000 I forgot to say that right off the bat.

01:47:29.000 Oh, fuck.

01:47:32.000 Are you still under the impression you're marrying this girl?

01:47:37.000 Well, dude, COVID hit.

01:47:39.000 I got to give you an update every time on this.

01:47:41.000 Yeah, because I don't think.

01:47:42.000 I'm going to meet her this summer.

01:47:44.000 I'm going to meet her this summer, yeah.

01:47:45.000 I'm going to meet her this summer.

01:47:47.000 Long-distance relationship, brother.

01:47:49.000 So, yeah.

01:47:50.000 Yeah, I think I saw you a 90-day fiancé.

01:47:52.000 You put a leather jacket on, a long leather jacket.

01:47:54.000 Yeah, you're in Austria right now.

01:47:55.000 Yeah, is it she in Ukraine?

01:47:59.000 Is this David?

01:48:01.000 Nice fake hair.

01:48:02.000 Yeah.

01:48:03.000 Nice wig, David.

01:48:06.000 So what's the name of your site?

01:48:07.000 Jim.

01:48:09.000 Oh, yeah, true.tube.

01:48:09.000 What's that?

01:48:12.000 And I owe it to the guy that built the site.

01:48:15.000 He's a fan of yours through me and kind of like he picked the name.

01:48:20.000 So I don't know, T-R-E-W.tube.

01:48:22.000 It's not ready to go.

01:48:24.000 I just threw a bunch of links up.

01:48:25.000 All my shit was on YouTube, so it's gone.

01:48:27.000 I still got my library's basically on iTunes, the greatest history of stuff I've done.

01:48:33.000 Thanks for coming.

01:48:34.000 Yeah, fuck.

01:48:35.000 They really killed me with the YouTube termination.

01:48:37.000 He doesn't love me.

01:48:38.000 Later, man.

01:48:40.000 Yeah, here's his thingy.

01:48:45.000 Okay.

01:48:46.000 Funk it up.

01:48:47.000 Funk it up.

01:48:48.000 True.

01:48:49.000 T-R-E-W. 1.00

01:48:50.000 Okay.tube.

01:48:52.000 All right, that's good.

01:48:53.000 That looks like it.

01:48:54.000 It looks pretty good.

01:48:56.000 All right.

01:48:57.000 We got, let's see here.

01:49:00.000 Dana.

01:49:02.000 It's getting hot in here, huh?

01:49:04.000 Or is it just Suit Boy over here?

01:49:07.000 Dana.

01:49:08.000 I thought you were Puerto Rican.

01:49:09.000 I thought you'd like this shit.

01:49:11.000 No, but it is, you know, I could live.

01:49:15.000 But Dana here's got a problem with relations. 1.00

01:49:18.000 What's up, Danes?

01:49:25.000 Dana, 10 minutes left.

01:49:30.000 All right, that's enough of that.

01:49:32.000 Oh, there she is.

01:49:33.000 Hi, Dana.

01:49:34.000 And Dana?

01:49:38.000 Hi, can you hear me?

01:49:39.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:49:41.000 What's up, Dan?

01:49:44.000 It sounds like your phone's up your ass.

01:49:46.000 Is there a way that you could uncover the...

01:49:50.000 I keep putting my phone in my ass.

01:49:53.000 I like when it vibrates, but then people can't hear.

01:49:55.000 Sorry.

01:49:59.000 Is that better?

01:50:00.000 Yeah.

01:50:02.000 Okay, so short version.

01:50:05.000 I met this guy a year ago.

01:50:06.000 He started dating.

01:50:07.000 I met him on a business trip, and we started a long-distance relationship.

01:50:11.000 Great.

01:50:14.000 I, you know, totally invested.

01:50:16.000 He was totally invested.

01:50:17.000 I have an 18-month-old son.

01:50:19.000 He would come down all the time.

01:50:21.000 What happened to that baby daddy? 0.99

01:50:28.000 I found out that he was unfaithful a couple days after I gave birth to my son, so I packed up all his shit and that was the end of that.

01:50:37.000 Damn.

01:50:37.000 What a loser.

01:50:38.000 Where are you?

01:50:41.000 In Florida.

01:50:43.000 Huh.

01:50:45.000 What was his ethnicity?

01:50:49.000 The act Irish.

01:50:50.000 The baby daddy Irish.

01:50:52.000 Huh.

01:50:52.000 I was going to say Cuban.

01:50:53.000 And does he feel like shit and like keep calling you and saying, I'm fucking sorry, by the way?

01:51:00.000 I'm Cuban.

01:51:01.000 He's Irish.

01:51:03.000 Yeah, I mean, he's totally, I don't know what we're talking about him, but he's, yeah, he's sorry, I guess, and, you know, wanted to work it out and things like that.

01:51:15.000 But I guess he just, I don't know, that's one of the boundaries that, you know, was it like a blowjob in a bathroom or was it like an affair?

01:51:28.000 So those are two extremes.

01:51:30.000 I would say it was somewhere in between.

01:51:33.000 From what I gathered from my investigative, you know, work, it was like a tour, or it was like a tour, a three-week thing, and then he cut it off.

01:51:45.000 And then like her friend, how I found out is because her friend started blowing up his own.

01:51:49.000 Like, how can you do this to my friend?

01:51:51.000 You just disappear, blah, blah, blah, blah.

01:51:53.000 And that was that.

01:51:55.000 That doesn't sound like it's bad enough to like take away a kid's father, especially if he stopped.

01:52:01.000 No, I don't think, I mean, it's not bad to take away the child's father.

01:52:07.000 I didn't take the father away from the child.

01:52:10.000 I took the father away from me.

01:52:12.000 You could still be a father, just not.

01:52:14.000 No, that's not a real father, though.

01:52:16.000 That's just a cool uncle.

01:52:21.000 I think you two should reconcile.

01:52:23.000 I think you can work it out.

01:52:26.000 No, I promise you I can't.

01:52:28.000 I promise you you can't.

01:52:31.000 Come on.

01:52:32.000 No.

01:52:33.000 He broke it off with her.

01:52:37.000 I'm sorry?

01:52:38.000 He broke it off with her.

01:52:39.000 Look, he got really horny.

01:52:41.000 You'd been pregnant for nine months. 1.00

01:52:43.000 He fucked up.

01:52:44.000 He's sorry.

01:52:46.000 He cheated on me while I was pregnant, and that's not only disgusting, but an absolute breach of everything, I believe in.

01:52:57.000 Yes, it's really, really bad.

01:53:00.000 But we all make terrible mistakes.

01:53:04.000 Forgiveness will make you stronger for this.

01:53:07.000 We know the guy.

01:53:09.000 It's me.

01:53:12.000 I'm sorry.

01:53:16.000 No, you're just going to show up at our house and be like, hi, remember me?

01:53:20.000 Okay, so let's pretend that what he did was much worse and it's irreconcilable.

01:53:26.000 What's your question?

01:53:26.000 You want to date Blazians or something?

01:53:32.000 Not quite.

01:53:34.000 So my question is that I started a relationship without really intending to get into a relationship.

01:53:42.000 I was just, I guess, trying to have a fling while I was out of town.

01:53:45.000 I was in New York.

01:53:47.000 And I ended up seriously being in a relationship with this, you know, this guy, older guy.

01:53:54.000 And like I said, he's great with my son.

01:53:57.000 He has a daughter.

01:53:58.000 I mean, we were just in a very, very committed relationship.

01:54:02.000 And about three weeks ago, I lost my shit a little bit and texted some really fucked up things.

01:54:08.000 And I called the next day.

01:54:11.000 I tried to apologize.

01:54:13.000 I didn't text him.

01:54:16.000 My kid's better than yours.

01:54:17.000 I didn't hear.

01:54:21.000 Your kid sucks?

01:54:22.000 No, I didn't hear from him the day before.

01:54:25.000 So I text him to go fuck his delusional self.

01:54:30.000 Seems like you're looking for the week.

01:54:32.000 You're looking for forgiveness.

01:54:34.000 I'm starting to figure out what this Irish guy had in mind when he said, this is not for me.

01:54:34.000 I'm sorry.

01:54:43.000 So you need forgiveness now.

01:54:44.000 Maybe you're a nut.

01:54:48.000 Maybe you're a nut.

01:54:48.000 What?

01:54:54.000 How am I a nut?

01:54:57.000 I don't know.

01:54:58.000 Like, this guy, this dumb Irishman fucked up, and that's the end of that. 1.00

01:55:03.000 And then you get another guy, some Blasian dude, and you lose your shit on him because he's late on a callback. 1.00

01:55:15.000 One thing I will concede, though, is I think he was late because he was fucking around.

01:55:22.000 He was what?

01:55:23.000 He didn't call you back because he was fucking around.

01:55:28.000 Ooh.

01:55:28.000 But you weren't pregnant this time.

01:55:30.000 So it's for you.

01:55:30.000 Okay.

01:55:31.000 That's just the way it is.

01:55:32.000 I mean, if a guy's in love, he can't wait to talk to her, and he tries to keep it down to like twice a day if he can.

01:55:41.000 But how long had it been?

01:55:45.000 No, we had just talked that same day.

01:55:47.000 He was with his daughter.

01:55:48.000 I mean, it wasn't.

01:55:49.000 That's not what I'm concerned about.

01:55:51.000 If you flipped out on him, he was like, what, a few hours late on a callback?

01:55:58.000 No, he didn't call me that night, and he called me every single night, and he was with his daughter.

01:56:04.000 So he missed one night.

01:56:07.000 You got a lot of rules, lady. 0.97

01:56:07.000 Correct. 0.97

01:56:09.000 Geez.

01:56:11.000 cheating on me while I'm pregnant.

01:56:17.000 How's a guy supposed to cheat on you if he has to call you every night?

01:56:19.000 I don't understand.

01:56:23.000 No, Ryan's kidding.

01:56:24.000 No way, but listen to this.

01:56:29.000 So what's your question?

01:56:30.000 Like, how do I get him back after being a crazy bitch? 1.00

01:56:33.000 No, no.

01:56:34.000 My question is to, yeah, well, that's one.

01:56:36.000 But the second part is, I don't know if I'm being tracked because he, I apologize.

01:56:42.000 He doesn't call.

01:56:42.000 I called him back.

01:56:43.000 He doesn't answer.

01:56:44.000 I mean, very, the longest we've ever been without talking.

01:56:47.000 It's been over two weeks.

01:56:48.000 He called me this Sunday and he said some random colleague's address.

01:56:53.000 Okay.

01:56:54.000 He said, I'm only going to tell you one thing.

01:56:55.000 You figure out the rest.

01:56:56.000 The world's smaller than you think.

01:56:58.000 And he gives me a random, one Of my colleagues, a male colleague's address that he's been, you know, uncomfortable about.

01:57:07.000 Did you ever fuck that guy?

01:57:10.000 No.

01:57:12.000 Promise?

01:57:13.000 Swear on your baby's life?

01:57:15.000 I mean no, none of that.

01:57:24.000 Don't swear on your baby's life that you didn't fuck this guy.

01:57:28.000 Never.

01:57:29.000 I never have.

01:57:30.000 No, no.

01:57:30.000 I never would.

01:57:31.000 I wouldn't cross off.

01:57:32.000 Okay.

01:57:32.000 Never would swear.

01:57:33.000 Yeah, wait, wait.

01:57:34.000 Don't try to finangle the verbiage here.

01:57:37.000 We said, swear on your baby's life you never fucked this co-worker. 1.00

01:57:43.000 I just, I hate swearing, but I guess if I have to, I would swear on my child's life.

01:57:48.000 I have never seen it.

01:57:49.000 So what's happened is he went on your phone.

01:57:51.000 He went on your phone and he saw you making some joke with that guy, like, you shower and I'll show her.

01:57:57.000 And he got so paranoid.

01:57:59.000 He's like, she's fucking him. 0.72

01:58:04.000 But I looked everywhere on my phone.

01:58:06.000 I even fucking called Apple.

01:58:07.000 It's been almost two hours and I dispeled the whole, you know, okay, he's not tracking me or it doesn't seem like he's tracking me on my phone.

01:58:14.000 There's no device connected to my iCloud.

01:58:17.000 Like, what the fuck?

01:58:17.000 How does he know that I was there?

01:58:20.000 Wait, that you were there?

01:58:23.000 Yeah.

01:58:24.000 Oh, so you were at.

01:58:25.000 So you were at the co-worker's house?

01:58:30.000 Of course.

01:58:30.000 We work together.

01:58:31.000 Absolutely.

01:58:32.000 Let's face it.

01:58:33.000 We're in the middle of a pandemic.

01:58:35.000 We can't go to the office.

01:58:36.000 You know, people come to my house.

01:58:37.000 I go to their house.

01:58:38.000 I mean, it's not a big deal.

01:58:40.000 This is getting interesting.

01:58:42.000 So it's possible that he has a thing on your car.

01:58:47.000 No, I took an Uber.

01:58:50.000 Oh.

01:58:52.000 My car's in the shop.

01:58:53.000 Maybe is he logged into your Uber?

01:58:58.000 Because you can totally see.

01:59:00.000 Yeah, you can totally see the.

01:59:01.000 Or what about there must have been texts like, okay, I'll be over in 10 minutes.

01:59:06.000 All right, well, I'm actually make it 20 because I'm finishing my laundry.

01:59:10.000 There was none of that?

01:59:11.000 I mean, yeah, no, there were texts, but I'm telling you, I called Apple, and I've learned so much about this whole fucking tracking thing and encryption and all this shit.

01:59:21.000 And they've assured me that there's no device connected to my account.

01:59:26.000 How the fuck did you get through to Apple?

01:59:29.000 Yeah, I can't.

01:59:30.000 Well, if you're worried about it.

01:59:32.000 He's saying I called Google and they said, don't worry about it, Gavin.

01:59:39.000 Yeah, can you tell Jeff Bezos I've been waiting on an Amazon technology?

01:59:42.000 Can you call Google and tell them to fuck off from me?

01:59:48.000 And while you're at it, tell YouTube to suck a dick and tell Twitter that it can eat my shorts. 0.95

01:59:54.000 Whoa, whoa.

01:59:55.000 I'm sorry.

01:59:56.000 I've been drinking and it's just flying off the handle.

01:59:59.000 Holy moly.

02:00:00.000 All right.

02:00:01.000 Well, I think you should get your original Irishman back and stop hanging out with people who track your phone. 1.00

02:00:06.000 Yeah, old spies.

02:00:08.000 We like you more than a friend, and thank you for calling.

02:00:11.000 It's a pretty good drawing you got there.

02:00:14.000 No, I'm not happy with it.

02:00:16.000 Wait, let me see.

02:00:17.000 Wait, let's go back to the drawing cam.

02:00:19.000 Oh, wait.

02:00:21.000 Oh, wow.

02:00:22.000 Look at that.

02:00:22.000 Yeah, I use a lot of shading.

02:00:24.000 That's amazing.

02:00:24.000 Thanks.

02:00:26.000 I'm really getting good at shading.

02:00:28.000 Especially when I use my brown and yellow crayons.

02:00:32.000 No, this was today's drawing.

02:00:34.000 The only thing I'm happy about is the way I drew you.

02:00:37.000 Oh.

02:00:38.000 Let me see.

02:00:39.000 Oh, wait, it's no longer like...

02:00:45.000 Is that on autofocus?

02:00:46.000 It's not.

02:00:46.000 Oh, okay.

02:00:48.000 Put it on autofocus.

02:00:49.000 So let's...

02:00:52.000 That's fucking cool.

02:00:54.000 I made it like Joe Cola.

02:00:56.000 And then if you get really close, you can see that I really...

02:01:03.000 I look like shit.

02:01:03.000 That looks like shit.

02:01:05.000 No, you look like you.

02:01:07.000 You have terrible teeth.

02:01:08.000 Your hair is ridiculous.

02:01:10.000 I have my shirt.

02:01:11.000 I have a weird plantation aboriginal nose. 0.99

02:01:14.000 That is the outfit I was wearing the other day.

02:01:17.000 I memorized it.

02:01:18.000 Yeah.

02:01:18.000 Well, thanks for that, I guess.

02:01:22.000 Not so much for everything else about it.

02:01:25.000 But a viewer sent this in.

02:01:27.000 This is pretty cool.

02:01:28.000 That's really good.

02:01:30.000 It's one of the best Photoshops I've seen in a while.

02:01:30.000 Isn't it?

02:01:32.000 We haven't covered any news today.

02:01:34.000 So Stefan Moligna kicked off Twitter.

02:01:37.000 Roger Stone kicked off Instagram.

02:01:39.000 Wait, why are you in the foreground?

02:01:41.000 I'm Indiana fucking Jones.

02:01:42.000 That's the gag.

02:01:43.000 Not the owner of the fag zone. 1.00

02:01:45.000 There is no owner of the fag zone. 0.97

02:01:46.000 Decoding the symbos and being good at being good at it, if you will.

02:01:50.000 It's H.E. Pennywhacker on Twitter.

02:01:54.000 And then there's some subtext.

02:01:54.000 He did a great job.

02:01:56.000 Oh, I got Ryan and the meme crusade.

02:01:59.000 And wait, I'm covering the bottom right.

02:02:02.000 That's Biden.

02:02:03.000 Oh, those are bad guys.

02:02:04.000 Milo and Biden.

02:02:07.000 Pretty good.

02:02:12.000 Pretty, yeah.

02:02:13.000 By the way, guys, hangovers at the gym suck, especially when someone's punching you in the head.

02:02:18.000 I like to hydrate in between my bourbons.

02:02:23.000 So you should make a rule for yourself at home that says, I may not have another hard liquor until I finish my meat and potatoes.

02:02:34.000 As they say in the movie Pink Floyd the Wall, how can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

02:02:41.000 You need to pay your dues.

02:02:43.000 One of these for one of these.

02:02:45.000 Never two of these in a row.

02:02:48.000 You're fucking a white male! 0.99

02:02:50.000 You're a white man!

02:02:55.000 Veteran.

02:02:56.000 VA pains.

02:02:57.000 Wazzaaa! 1.00

02:03:02.000 Wazzaaaaa! 1.00

02:03:05.000 Hello.

02:03:06.000 Action piece.

02:03:07.000 How's it going, eh?

02:03:09.000 Hello.

02:03:10.000 Hello, fellow veteran.

02:03:15.000 So I got a kind of a long story that I'm going to keep pretty short here.

02:03:20.000 I've got a long story that I'm going to keep pretty short.

02:03:23.000 I saw the Outpost last night with Clint Eastwood's son, and it is so fucking intense.

02:03:30.000 My hair came off my head.

02:03:32.000 I had to get a hair transplant last night and put it back in.

02:03:36.000 It is so fucking realistic, so true that when I talk to vets now, we're bros.

02:03:46.000 Like, I've been there, dude.

02:03:49.000 We're friends.

02:03:51.000 Anyway, fellow vet, what is your story?

02:03:56.000 So, uh.

02:03:57.000 Wait, what battalion were you?

02:04:01.000 I'm sorry?

02:04:02.000 What battalion were you?

02:04:04.000 Oh, I've fucking stolen Valor.

02:04:06.000 I'm sorry for that.

02:04:07.000 No, I was a combat engineer in the Marines, first combat engineer battalion.

02:04:12.000 And how many times, where were you deployed?

02:04:14.000 Who was your sergeant?

02:04:18.000 I went to Afghanistan once, and my sergeant was some fucking chink bastard. 1.00

02:04:25.000 You went to Afghanistan once?

02:04:26.000 Dude, I saw the outpost, and I saw Saving Private Ryan while stoned.

02:04:31.000 Oh, fuck, that fucking outpost movie.

02:04:33.000 I worked with one of the guys who was actually there at that fucking outpost.

02:04:37.000 You know what's amazing about that movie?

02:04:39.000 About three of the dudes in it were the dudes.

02:04:44.000 Like, they were there.

02:04:45.000 They used, it's a Clean Eastwood thing where he uses the guys that were there.

02:04:49.000 Three of the actors were fucking there. 0.84

02:04:55.000 Yeah.

02:04:56.000 And I'm sorry to interrupt you all this.

02:04:58.000 I don't mean to be disrespectful.

02:05:00.000 You're disrupting valor.

02:05:00.000 Thank you.

02:05:01.000 You're disrupting valor.

02:05:02.000 I'm disrupting valor.

02:05:04.000 I've talked to other vets.

02:05:05.000 Like, this fucking outpost was in the center of a mountainous region.

02:05:10.000 Like, talk about spitting ducks.

02:05:12.000 And you go, oh, that must have been a glitch or something.

02:05:14.000 No, I've talked to other vets where they get to the outpost and it was in, like, they described it as a vagina in between spread legs. 1.00

02:05:22.000 And they're just like, what the fuck am I doing here?

02:05:26.000 Caverns are at the top of a mountain.

02:05:30.000 Yeah, none of it makes sense over there.

02:05:32.000 Okay, sorry.

02:05:33.000 I'm sorry to interrupt so many times.

02:05:35.000 Go ahead.

02:05:36.000 No worries.

02:05:38.000 So I was using my GI Bill to go to school to become a commercial pilot, not leech off the government and society, get a good career.

02:05:47.000 But my school lost its accreditation in 2016 when I first came up here during the whole election thing.

02:05:53.000 And I'm from Boston originally, and I'm living in Portland, Oregon now, stuck over here in Portland, Oregon.

02:06:00.000 But I'm saving money to go to a different school.

02:06:05.000 What happened was the school took a bunch of Chinese students from China.

02:06:10.000 So they get all that fucking Chinese money.

02:06:13.000 And me being the straight white male that I was, going to Portland Community College to ask for help is fucking getting nowhere fast.

02:06:23.000 So a bunch of us are working on a lawsuit to get out of here.

02:06:26.000 But I mean, I see all these kids complaining about wanting free school and fucking all that shit and crying, fucking up the tree.

02:06:34.000 But in the end, fucking, you never get what you want.

02:06:37.000 Government always gets what they want first.

02:06:40.000 Yeah.

02:06:41.000 So wait a minute.

02:06:43.000 I don't understand.

02:06:44.000 You had a scholarship kind of a thing?

02:06:47.000 The GI bill?

02:06:50.000 When you go into the military, you get the GI bill, which is they basically give you free college.

02:06:54.000 Yes, how do you get free with that?

02:06:57.000 I didn't know they could take that away from you.

02:07:01.000 No, they didn't.

02:07:02.000 I still have it, but that particular school.

02:07:07.000 Yeah, the school lost their accreditation, and there's not a lot of schools in the country, so I can't just go to the next town over and go to flight school there.

02:07:13.000 So I've just been saving up money working for a cool company.

02:07:17.000 They're getting really supportive, saving up money to go to school.

02:07:20.000 How did they lose their accreditation?

02:07:21.000 Somewhere fucking out.

02:07:22.000 How did they lose their little buzz?

02:07:30.000 They took on too many Chinese students and a bunch of veterans were falling behind.

02:07:35.000 Like we had to get ratings, like we had to try for ratings multiple times and then it was just leeching money.

02:07:42.000 So they investigated the school because we were taking courses more than once.

02:07:46.000 Oh, so the Chinese were incompetent. 1.00

02:07:50.000 No.

02:07:52.000 They're not very competent.

02:07:52.000 No.

02:07:54.000 But anyway, I mean, everybody complains about the VA and the medical system and how they're not taking care of vets, but it starts with the education.

02:08:04.000 That's the first thing you do when you get out is try to go to school so you don't have to get that VA education.

02:08:10.000 You can get a good job and get your own health insurance.

02:08:13.000 But we're more concerned about the medical stuff.

02:08:17.000 And, you know, I just trying to get out anywhere I can to get in the ear of Trump or any politician really to help fix the VA education system.

02:08:28.000 As a whole, that's the real fucking mess.

02:08:31.000 Okay, I know I'm pissing off our subscribers here, but so the school's downfall was taking in these Chinese students and giving them, or just taking them in without worrying about their talents because they were getting money? 0.84

02:08:47.000 Basically, they kind of pyramid schemed themselves where they were taking in students to pay for other students, and the veterans weren't paying as much as the Chinese students, so naturally you take in whoever pays more.

02:08:58.000 So their graduation rate plummeted?

02:09:03.000 I mean, for the Chinese students, it's been pretty level, but for the veterans, it got ridiculous. 0.89

02:09:10.000 When I started, there was 90 guys, and when I finished, there was three of us.

02:09:14.000 I'm almost at my commercial rating, so it'll be easy for me, but it just really sucks that a whole bunch of these guys dropped out on their dreams just because...

02:09:23.000 I'm so fucking dumb.

02:09:25.000 But I have trouble trying to understand how the Chinese ruined the school. 1.00

02:09:30.000 Because it was like...

02:09:31.000 Their marks were too high and no one could compete?

02:09:34.000 They said it cost less to...

02:09:34.000 They cost less.

02:09:34.000 Right.

02:09:37.000 The Chinese were paying, and the VA wasn't really paying.

02:09:40.000 It was like the GI bill. 0.51

02:09:42.000 So they'd rather go with the Chinese. 0.83

02:09:44.000 But how does that ruin the school?

02:09:46.000 Oh, they lose their VA accreditation.

02:09:48.000 I'm very sorry that I didn't fucking understand that.

02:09:51.000 Okay, so then the VA goes, not enough vets are graduating.

02:09:54.000 We're not giving you money anymore.

02:09:57.000 Yeah, and it stranded a bunch of us up here.

02:09:59.000 And we've been trying to do lawsuits and get politicians' attention just to kind of see if we can get time back on our GI bill.

02:10:08.000 but it's fucking falling on deaf ears. 0.91

02:10:11.000 And so we're doing the lawsuit thing and trying to get some attention that way, but most of us are just finishing it up with whatever money we have.

02:10:19.000 You know, it doesn't feel very American to be litigious.

02:10:22.000 We're not lawfare kind of a people, but they left us no other choice.

02:10:27.000 So now I'm like suing everyone.

02:10:30.000 Sue everyone.

02:10:31.000 Yeah, I mean, after watching all your content, sometimes you got to be litigious to get what you deserve.

02:10:39.000 They left us no choice.

02:10:40.000 We'd rather fist fight, but the left has no choice.

02:10:43.000 All right, thanks for calling, ma'am.

02:10:45.000 Thank you for your service.

02:10:46.000 Thank you.

02:10:47.000 Do you ever see that Kirby enthusiasm where everyone thanks the vet for his service?

02:10:51.000 I think Larry David is like, duh.

02:10:56.000 Yes.

02:10:56.000 It's not, it's less funny because it's a Jew.

02:10:59.000 It's one of the little Jew who hates Trump and probably does hate the military. 1.00

02:11:02.000 But if it was someone who was normal and like was a Trump supporter and he was like me, I would be funnier, Kirby Enthusiasm.

02:11:11.000 If I was like, you had enough thank yous.

02:11:13.000 I actually have been cracking down on thank yous recently.

02:11:17.000 Like my fucking wife, we go to some Mexican place and she's like, okay, can we can we just get waters first? 1.00

02:11:24.000 Yeah, your waters?

02:11:25.000 Oh, thank you.

02:11:25.000 Thank you.

02:11:26.000 Thank you.

02:11:26.000 Gets the water.

02:11:28.000 Okay, and the cutlery.

02:11:29.000 All right.

02:11:29.000 Thank you.

02:11:30.000 Right, right, right.

02:11:32.000 And then she brings the like free shit, the dip with the tortillas.

02:11:37.000 Thank you.

02:11:38.000 Thanks.

02:11:38.000 She's like, you're welcome.

02:11:40.000 It's a black woman. 0.99

02:11:41.000 She's like, you're welcome.

02:11:42.000 Probably not used to hearing thank you so much, like in her community.

02:11:45.000 And she's like, you're welcome.

02:11:46.000 You're welcome.

02:11:47.000 And it's thank you.

02:11:48.000 You're welcome.

02:11:48.000 Thank you.

02:11:49.000 You're welcome.

02:11:50.000 And again, it's sort of getting like New York Times in.

02:11:52.000 It seems like we're pandering.

02:11:55.000 And I said, with the waitress there, I said, honey, how about, I'm sure the waitress is fine with this, at the end of the dinner, we say thank you for all everything.

02:12:07.000 The water, the tortillas, the guacamole, when you brought the actual order, when you brought an extra chair, everything you've done tonight.

02:12:18.000 Thank you.

02:12:20.000 Thank you.

02:12:21.000 We could do two.

02:12:23.000 And then I'll tip you two.

02:12:25.000 The tip is a thank you in and of itself.

02:12:27.000 If no one says thank you and there's a shitty tip, that's a fuck you. 0.71

02:12:30.000 If no one says thank you and there's a big tip, it just means I'm not a thank you guy.

02:12:35.000 Yeah, I've been wrestling with that my whole life.

02:12:37.000 That's a good idea.

02:12:38.000 You know, Mike, I won't say his last name, but our friend who lives near me, he says I should say thank you after every beer.

02:12:46.000 Can I get another bud?

02:12:47.000 That feels different.

02:12:48.000 Thank you I'd do it But I've been watching a lot of No, that's our deal.

02:13:00.000 When I walk in the bar, I'm Gavin McInnis.

02:13:02.000 I'm probably going to have about four buds.

02:13:03.000 Yeah.

02:13:04.000 So when I go, can I...

02:13:07.000 I do my new invention that I invented, which I highly recommend.

02:13:10.000 It's this.

02:13:13.000 That means you're done with that beer.

02:13:14.000 Now, when the bartender scopes the bar, he sees Gavin with an empty beer far away from him.

02:13:19.000 Budweisers are opaque brown.

02:13:23.000 So I don't want him to have to come over and like look and gauge or see when I last sipped it.

02:13:28.000 I go like that.

02:13:29.000 I'm clearly done.

02:13:31.000 Right.

02:13:31.000 And then he just goes, Gary, I think you know who I'm talking about.

02:13:36.000 Yeah.

02:13:36.000 Someone you should know is a single man.

02:13:39.000 Wait, what?

02:13:41.000 That's kind of gay. 0.99

02:13:42.000 What the fuck?

02:13:43.000 I mean, he's a bartender.

02:13:45.000 It's a bar right near our studio.

02:13:46.000 Right, I know.

02:13:47.000 You should be going there regularly, meeting people.

02:13:50.000 He's playing Grandpa Solitaire.

02:13:52.000 Oh, yeah.

02:13:53.000 You literally are playing Grandpa Solitaire.

02:13:55.000 Are there seats available?

02:13:57.000 Is it outdoor?

02:13:58.000 Yes.

02:13:59.000 It's been open for weeks, you guys.

02:14:01.000 I don't believe it.

02:14:02.000 I don't even drink anymore, so I drink sometimes.

02:14:04.000 Well, then drink bud.

02:14:06.000 That's not booze.

02:14:08.000 This is water.

02:14:10.000 I stay hydrated.

02:14:11.000 This is booze.

02:14:13.000 All right, we're way over here.

02:14:16.000 So true.

02:14:20.000 So we're going to do one more.

02:14:21.000 Oh, wait, we got this clip.

02:14:22.000 If you want to.

02:14:23.000 Happy cup, everybody.

02:14:25.000 Oh, my baby.

02:14:27.000 This is actually one of the few jokes, liberal Jewishness kind of.

02:14:31.000 So this is our friend Richard Lewis.

02:14:33.000 Thank you for your service, bro.

02:14:35.000 Oh, thank you.

02:14:35.000 Thank you.

02:14:36.000 And our neighbors, Leslie and John.

02:14:38.000 What a hero you are.

02:14:39.000 Thank you for your service.

02:14:40.000 Oh, thank you.

02:14:41.000 The real heroes are still there, but I appreciate it.

02:14:43.000 Thank you for your service.

02:14:44.000 Thank you.

02:14:44.000 Grateful nation.

02:14:45.000 And this is our friend Larry.

02:14:47.000 Hey.

02:14:48.000 Nice to meet you.

02:14:50.000 Um, yeah, it's, uh...

02:15:03.000 Richard Lewis is first one.

02:15:06.000 Thank you for your service, bro.

02:15:10.000 You didn't thank him for his service, asshole.

02:15:12.000 They thanked him.

02:15:13.000 Three people thanked him.

02:15:14.000 Why do I have to thank him?

02:15:15.000 How hard would it have been?

02:15:16.000 Thank you for your service.

02:15:17.000 Does everybody have to thank him for your service?

02:15:19.000 Now you've ruined everything, Larry.

02:15:21.000 I'm making all this delicious salmon, and the whole night is ruined.

02:15:24.000 Are you still taking that?

02:15:25.000 Yes.

02:15:26.000 Would you mind boiling mine?

02:15:29.000 Get out.

02:15:29.000 That face?

02:15:30.000 Get the fuck out.

02:15:31.000 Leave. 0.99

02:15:33.000 Okay.

02:15:33.000 Thank you for serving real dirt.

02:15:36.000 Thank you for being a very good manager.

02:15:38.000 Thank you for coming over in this brisk weather.

02:15:40.000 That's one great thing about being old.

02:15:41.000 You get to this Larry David age.

02:15:43.000 Like, this real estate woman I was talking to today, she's like, she was talking earlier about how she has no filter in her mouth. 1.00

02:15:50.000 And she's like, I like Emily more than you about my wife.

02:15:54.000 And I was like, yep, I understand that.

02:15:55.000 That makes perfect sense.

02:15:57.000 That's great.

02:15:57.000 Like, the last thing that would do would offend me in a million years.

02:16:01.000 I'd rather hear that than feel it.

02:16:03.000 Yeah.

02:16:04.000 In every little bit.

02:16:05.000 If I were you, I would like my wife more than me, too.

02:16:08.000 Like at one point, that means I kind of like you.

02:16:10.000 I was walking around this property and she's like, I'm going to go back inside.

02:16:13.000 Hey, Gavin, I'm going back inside.

02:16:15.000 And I was like, don't care.

02:16:19.000 That's beautiful.

02:16:21.000 That's invention of lying type shit right there.

02:16:25.000 Is this Armory?

02:16:28.000 Molly.

02:16:29.000 Hello?

02:16:29.000 Molly?

02:16:30.000 Hi, Molly.

02:16:31.000 Molly.

02:16:32.000 Talk together about black people.

02:16:33.000 Are you Jimmy Tammo's wife?

02:16:36.000 No, I'm a 19-year-old girl.

02:16:38.000 No, she exists.

02:16:40.000 Get it?

02:16:41.000 All right.

02:16:42.000 First of all, Gavin, I'm going to call you out.

02:16:46.000 You are what we Zoomers like to call a simp for any middle-aged sounding brown woman. 1.00

02:16:52.000 You just talk to that Cuban lady for like 10 minutes. 1.00

02:16:56.000 And you give everybody else like a minute or two of max.

02:17:00.000 All right.

02:17:01.000 Thanks for calling.

02:17:03.000 But wait a minute.

02:17:04.000 Wait a minute.

02:17:05.000 Let me explain my, at least with that particular one, I wanted them to get back together.

02:17:11.000 I hate the way women with young babies are like, ah, you farted, you're done. 1.00

02:17:17.000 I mean, okay.

02:17:18.000 Say what you want.

02:17:19.000 And you didn't know she was kidding.

02:17:21.000 And a simp wants to fuck the girl. 1.00

02:17:24.000 I clearly don't want to fuck her. 1.00

02:17:26.000 And third, third, when female callers come on the show, I want to give them more attention because I feel like it's a demographic we're lacking.

02:17:37.000 Every single one of us knows you're a horn dog.

02:17:39.000 You'll fuck anything won't move.

02:17:41.000 And he's just like, ew, an old creepy man laugh.

02:17:44.000 Ew, ew, it's so true.

02:17:46.000 Ew.

02:17:48.000 Okay, so I was watching your video yesterday about the BLM people blocking the white lady and her kids from going into church.

02:17:56.000 Oh, yeah.

02:17:57.000 And I actually saw that video before.

02:18:00.000 And if you listen closely, they're actually blaming her for like exposing her kids to Corona.

02:18:05.000 And they're like, how dare you take your child into a church with Corona going on?

02:18:09.000 But, you know, protests don't do anything right.

02:18:12.000 So are non-retarded white men going to stand up anytime soon? 1.00

02:18:18.000 Because it doesn't seem like that's ever going to happen.

02:18:21.000 Yeah, like, aren't they exposing themselves to Corona being at this rally where they insult Christians and attack women?

02:18:29.000 No, it's Black Lives Matter.

02:18:31.000 They're immune to Corona.

02:18:33.000 Corona's liberal.

02:18:36.000 Yeah, I hated how they had, like, god damn it.

02:18:39.000 You know, Britain has been severely cucked, but the ones that are left are ready to rumble.

02:18:46.000 It's not the majority.

02:18:47.000 It's not the police.

02:18:48.000 But I feel like if this was, you know, with Tommy Robinson's friends, there would have been a throwdown.

02:18:54.000 Oh, wait a minute.

02:18:54.000 I haven't seen this part.

02:18:55.000 Yeah, there was a throwdown.

02:18:56.000 It turned into a fight?

02:18:58.000 With a cop there.

02:19:01.000 Great idea, boys.

02:19:03.000 A little bit of a shoving kind of thing.

02:19:05.000 I know what you're saying, my dear.

02:19:07.000 I totally agree.

02:19:08.000 I don't know.

02:19:08.000 This is why I talk about silent apartheid.

02:19:11.000 I feel like these milquetoast white men have said, let's just move to the suburbs and forget it.

02:19:18.000 I might be within that demographic.

02:19:21.000 I mean, I was fighting Nazi skinheads in 1987.

02:19:25.000 And this shit is still going on.

02:19:27.000 Like, what am I?

02:19:27.000 Fucking Captain America?

02:19:30.000 Exactly.

02:19:31.000 I don't want to do it anymore.

02:19:33.000 Ask that and call you a simp.

02:19:35.000 So on to the next caller.

02:19:37.000 Whoa.

02:19:38.000 Wait, wait, what was that last part?

02:19:39.000 I just want to call you a simp. 0.55

02:19:41.000 Say that and call you a simp. 0.81

02:19:42.000 So now she dictates that we go to the next call.

02:19:44.000 You know what?

02:19:45.000 You're not going anywhere.

02:19:46.000 Yeah.

02:19:46.000 How was your day?

02:19:48.000 Where are you?

02:19:50.000 I'm in Northern Virginia with all their socialists.

02:19:54.000 What's that like?

02:19:55.000 I hear it's got one of the best climates in America.

02:19:58.000 I hear it's the place that's the most 70 degrees.

02:20:03.000 Oh, no.

02:20:03.000 It gets to like 90 and it's muggy outside.

02:20:07.000 I don't give too much of a shit.

02:20:10.000 That was a bad thing.

02:20:11.000 Yeah, yesterday when I went downtown to DC and there was like a small Black Lives Matter thing.

02:20:17.000 I was going to send it into the mailbag, but you only read like three of those.

02:20:21.000 So I like, the chances aren't high that you're reading.

02:20:23.000 More criticisms.

02:20:25.000 Very snarky caller.

02:20:28.000 How far are you from DC?

02:20:29.000 I would.

02:20:32.000 20, 30 minutes.

02:20:34.000 Am I retarded?

02:20:36.000 I think of North Carolina as like the South.

02:20:38.000 Yeah, me too.

02:20:39.000 Wait.

02:20:40.000 It's 20 minutes from DC.

02:20:41.000 She's in Virginia, Northern Virginia.

02:20:43.000 Oh, Northern Virginia, of course, of course.

02:20:44.000 Sorry.

02:20:45.000 Double retarded, I suppose. 1.00

02:20:46.000 I was thinking Northern Carolina.

02:20:48.000 Are you in a relationship with a boy?

02:20:51.000 No.

02:20:52.000 A man?

02:20:52.000 Why not?

02:20:56.000 I don't know.

02:20:58.000 Is it Slim Pickens there?

02:20:59.000 Is there a lack of libido?

02:21:01.000 Is it the men are all pussies? 0.99

02:21:05.000 Yeah, that and they all just, I mean, they all just want sex.

02:21:11.000 I mean, that's just the age that I'm in.

02:21:13.000 So I'm just, I'm not down with that.

02:21:16.000 But that's always been the case.

02:21:18.000 Like, since the beginning of time.

02:21:20.000 And women managed to, I saw this guy, Mickey Flanagan, the stand-up comic, and he was like, remember when you would work like two weeks to be able to finger a girl? 0.84

02:21:30.000 Yeah.

02:21:32.000 Two weeks.

02:21:33.000 It could be two months.

02:21:34.000 You work, like, you'd get one tit, and then like a month later, you'd get another tit, and then like a month later, you may get a fingering.

02:21:42.000 Fucking was like, that's like Mecca. 0.59

02:21:44.000 Like, you're not going to go there.

02:21:47.000 No, yeah, it is pretty slim tickets out here.

02:21:50.000 But I went downtown yesterday just for a change of scenery since I've been locked up.

02:21:55.000 And I walked by.

02:21:58.000 I wanted to see the White House because I had never seen it really up close in person.

02:22:02.000 And I walked by, and there's like a small BLM protest.

02:22:05.000 And what I don't know if you saw this, but you know how they painted like Black Lives Matter down the street on the way to the White House? 0.58

02:22:10.000 They actually painted defund the police on there too.

02:22:13.000 But I don't know if that got any coverage.

02:22:16.000 The Black Lives Matter painting on the road was a municipal decision.

02:22:21.000 It was the government that did that.

02:22:22.000 Did they also pay to have defund the police?

02:22:26.000 Was that tax money?

02:22:28.000 Because Black Lives Matter in D.C. was tax money.

02:22:33.000 I have no idea.

02:22:34.000 I mean, it looked professionally done.

02:22:36.000 It was washed away, sort of kind of, and Black Lives Matter wasn't.

02:22:39.000 It was kept up, but it said defund the police on it.

02:22:44.000 But it was this like fat Latina teenager who was running the show, like, you know, yelling through the bullhorn the whole time. 1.00

02:22:51.000 And it was honestly comical to see they were calling every single one of the cops wife eaters and all this shit.

02:22:57.000 And I just sat there and watched.

02:22:59.000 It's Better than cable, honestly.

02:23:01.000 Well, you sound like a young lady with your head screwed on, right? 1.00

02:23:05.000 I hope you meet a good man.

02:23:07.000 I would recommend you focus on expats: Australian, Canadian, British guys who move here.

02:23:14.000 I love Australian, they have the best accents.

02:23:17.000 Second is Scottish.

02:23:18.000 Scottish people have good accents, too.

02:23:21.000 I just barfed in my mouth coincidentally.

02:23:23.000 Harry's.

02:23:24.000 Harry's is a great bar in DC for conservatives.

02:23:27.000 Sure is.

02:23:29.000 And also go to Philomena.

02:23:30.000 Oh, wait, you can't drink, right?

02:23:31.000 You're 19?

02:23:33.000 Yeah.

02:23:34.000 Well, I mean, legally.

02:23:35.000 She can't go into a frickin' bar. 1.00

02:23:37.000 Harry's is the bar for you.

02:23:38.000 Meet him.

02:23:39.000 When you get older, yeah.

02:23:40.000 Okay, thanks for calling.

02:23:42.000 Am I a simp for talking to you for that long?

02:23:46.000 It's equal simp opportunity now.

02:23:49.000 She's going to Philomena.

02:23:49.000 She's going to make a differentiation here.

02:23:51.000 Differentiation.

02:23:52.000 Very difficult differentiation.

02:23:55.000 When we marvel at the beauty of, say, Phoebe Cates on the show, right?

02:24:00.000 Fiobi Catez, yes.

02:24:02.000 We're not trying to fuck her.

02:24:04.000 Obviously not.

02:24:05.000 Especially now because she's old and ugly. 1.00

02:24:08.000 So we're really doing like beauty appreciation, which was kind of what the do's and don'ts was in a way.

02:24:14.000 Simping is like collecting photographs of, say, Demi Lovato and like saying we have new pics of Demi.

02:24:25.000 She looks super fat in this picture. 1.00

02:24:27.000 I will concede there's a fine line between what we do and simping, but I think simps genuinely want to fuck the person.

02:24:36.000 And they're hopeless.

02:24:37.000 They're not going to.

02:24:37.000 Yeah, like I'm married.

02:24:38.000 I'm not fucking anyone.

02:24:39.000 They'll pay attention and pay money to get attention from chicks that will never amount to anything. 1.00

02:24:43.000 Like I think Demi Lovato is stunning.

02:24:45.000 And when I talk about how pretty she is and her big fat ass, I'm hoping that my viewers will go and fuck a chick like that. 1.00

02:24:54.000 I'm trying to like encourage libido with the Zoomers. 1.00

02:24:58.000 I'm trying to get them out there.

02:24:59.000 And not the kind of libido she's talking about where horny dudes just want to bang, but like genuine romantic libido where you want to be with her for a long time.

02:25:08.000 Because not only have like young men, I think, are okay with being horny, that God made that.

02:25:15.000 That's always there, but sincere horniness, which is what romance is.

02:25:23.000 That's what we're lacking here.

02:25:24.000 And that's why I say like when we have a woman on the show, I'll go like, Jesus Christ, you're fucking smoking hot. 1.00

02:25:32.000 I'm not trying to get in her pants.

02:25:34.000 I'm trying to acknowledge libido because we've been taught not to feel that way.

02:25:37.000 And that was really what hit me about that Laverne Cox video.

02:25:43.000 When she's danced she, when he's dancing around in high-heel boots, and I saw it in the corner of my eye and I went, oh, good.

02:25:50.000 Women can be sexy again. 1.00

02:25:52.000 Women can be horny again. 1.00

02:25:54.000 Men can admit, women can enjoy their tits and how much men want to touch them. 1.00

02:25:59.000 And then I turn around and it's a dude.

02:26:02.000 You can be horny if you're a dude.

02:26:04.000 What is that?

02:26:06.000 That's him.

02:26:07.000 So it's a dude.

02:26:08.000 Yeah, it's always been a dude.

02:26:10.000 And I was thinking about WKRP.

02:26:11.000 WKRP was like Lonnie Anderson and Bailey, right?

02:26:14.000 Jennifer and Bailey.

02:26:16.000 And it was sort of a given when you watched the show that Bailey was the girl you don't want to fuck because she's not sexy enough. 1.00

02:26:24.000 And Jennifer is, right?

02:26:29.000 What's her name again?

02:26:32.000 She was married to Burt Reynolds.

02:26:33.000 He beat the shit out of her.

02:26:35.000 Lonnie Anderson.

02:26:36.000 And it's funny because now you look at Bailey and she looks like a porn star. 1.00

02:26:41.000 Like she was, yeah, she was like the, I'm not trying to be pretty. 0.93

02:26:44.000 I'm just one of the guys.

02:26:46.000 And now you look at her and you're like, wow, finally, a woman's trying to be feminine. 0.92

02:26:50.000 And then, of course, Lonnie Anderson looks like a fucking circus clown with a hat on with a blonde carpet on. 0.63

02:26:59.000 Or see, look up a video of Chero. 0.83

02:27:02.000 When I was a kid, Chero was like, yee, I'm a sexy guy.

02:27:07.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:27:08.000 You all want to fuck me.

02:27:10.000 And we would watch and go, yay, we all want to fuck Chero. 1.00

02:27:16.000 Oh, there's full circle.

02:27:18.000 Sighting lady who's as uninhibited as she is beautiful.

02:27:22.000 This window behind you, Bertie.

02:27:24.000 This huge lapels.

02:27:25.000 shit.

02:27:33.000 Like, this was all just women enjoying being super hot and men enjoying their boners. 0.97

02:27:40.000 And she's old in this.

02:27:45.000 She's probably 40 in this. 1.00

02:27:52.000 Pretty much watched this on mute, right?

02:27:54.000 Where's her nose? 1.00

02:27:55.000 She's had her nose surgically removed. 0.82

02:27:57.000 He burned a raisin.

02:28:00.000 Oh, my God.

02:28:00.000 A skin-colored raisin.

02:28:02.000 Is that plastic surgery?

02:28:04.000 I don't know if they could make her.

02:28:06.000 It's Photoshop, maybe.

02:28:07.000 Look how she looks hideous. 1.00

02:28:09.000 Is that a deep fake?

02:28:10.000 I remember when I was a kid, I would look at her and go, she's the most beautiful.

02:28:13.000 I was Mexican when I was a little kid.

02:28:16.000 Yeah, you grow out of that.

02:28:17.000 Excuse me.

02:28:18.000 She's the most beautiful woman in the world.

02:28:20.000 One day, one day, I will have a woman in my life. 0.90

02:28:25.000 Look up young Charl.

02:28:27.000 Don't look her up now, dude.

02:28:28.000 I'm talking about when I was a kid, I'm half a century old.

02:28:31.000 Look at that.

02:28:32.000 Look at that.

02:28:33.000 Am I being a simp right now?

02:28:37.000 I don't know how insecure I am when a 19-year-old insults me.

02:28:41.000 That nose is skeletal.

02:28:42.000 My nose is disturbing.

02:28:43.000 It looks like in Coco, when they go to like the Yeah.

02:28:50.000 Like Raquel Welch in fucking... 1.00

02:28:54.000 Even the divinals.

02:28:55.000 You know that song?

02:28:56.000 Every time I think about you, I touch myself.

02:28:59.000 Of course.

02:29:00.000 She was like 35 in that video. 0.91

02:29:02.000 And I look at her and I'm like, I guess I was so horny when I was 15 that I just saw her socks and was like, fuck her, fuck her, fuck her, fuck her. 1.00

02:29:17.000 You look at her, it's like your mom's friend Rhoda.

02:29:24.000 Yeah, bangs and thigh-high socks.

02:29:26.000 And I was like, I don't care if it's on Hulk Hogan.

02:29:29.000 I'm fucking him.

02:29:33.000 She's dead.

02:29:35.000 Is she?

02:29:35.000 Yeah.

02:29:36.000 You know who else died?

02:29:37.000 Mary LeTourneau, who fucked her student, Buddha. 1.00

02:29:41.000 I bet he's happy.

02:29:43.000 She's gone.

02:29:44.000 He's free from this ball and chain.

02:29:46.000 Geriatric, I married.

02:29:50.000 It's a rock and song.

02:29:51.000 Look, when you're, no, go back to it.

02:29:53.000 When you're like a teenager, you just see cleavage, bangs, and thigh-high socks, and you're like, go ahead, bitch, have a mustache and be Burt Reynolds. 1.00

02:30:03.000 What was that?

02:30:04.000 What was that?

02:30:05.000 Go back.

02:30:06.000 What was that?

02:30:06.000 Is that someone kissing their own ass?

02:30:08.000 What was?

02:30:09.000 Why is that in the video?

02:30:11.000 I don't know.

02:30:12.000 That's borderline satanic.

02:30:14.000 What are you doing?

02:30:14.000 I think she's like felching.

02:30:16.000 What are you doing?

02:30:17.000 You're looking at the back of your taint?

02:30:20.000 Go back.

02:30:21.000 Whose idea was that?

02:30:23.000 Maybe that's how you could tell if you did a good shave job down there.

02:30:26.000 Did I get all the gooch?

02:30:27.000 After I say the chorus, I want the camera to pan to my husband who's playing guitar.

02:30:31.000 And then just someone staring at their taint.

02:30:33.000 Oh, you think that's written in the script?

02:30:35.000 Yeah.

02:30:35.000 Taint shot.

02:30:37.000 Taint stare.

02:30:39.000 Self-taint stare.

02:30:40.000 She's a simp for her own taint. 1.00

02:30:42.000 Yeah, that is self-shot.

02:30:43.000 She's a taint simp. 1.00

02:30:44.000 She's a self-taint simp. 1.00

02:30:46.000 All right, I've clearly had enough.

02:30:48.000 Let's maybe do one more and fucking throw sheets of paper at the same time. 0.78

02:30:53.000 She's taking a Grundel Gander.

02:30:55.000 That's what we like to call it.

02:30:57.000 What do you call it?

02:30:58.000 Yeah.

02:30:58.000 There's like five names for taints.

02:31:00.000 Grundle.

02:31:01.000 That's actually mere.

02:31:03.000 Five names for taints are playing at Mercury Lounge on Thursday if you want to check them out.

02:31:06.000 I'll go.

02:31:09.000 Okay.

02:31:10.000 Okay.

02:31:10.000 Kelly, I have a question for Gavin about starting a family.

02:31:18.000 Hello.

02:31:19.000 This is Kelly.

02:31:21.000 Can you guys hear me okay?

02:31:22.000 Yes.

02:31:23.000 Yep.

02:31:25.000 Okay.

02:31:26.000 So I'm here with my husband.

02:31:28.000 We are really big fans.

02:31:30.000 We listen to you guys all the time.

02:31:32.000 We listen to you on road trips.

02:31:34.000 We love you guys.

02:31:36.000 But we have a question in your opinion.

02:31:44.000 No, he was just saying.

02:31:44.000 Sounds like a favourite.

02:31:45.000 However.

02:31:47.000 However.

02:31:49.000 So my husband and Bobby and I is here with me.

02:31:52.000 We have been married since 2018, September, and we want to start a family and have been trying to.

02:32:02.000 It hasn't happened yet.

02:32:04.000 And we've had testing.

02:32:06.000 Everything seems to be fine.

02:32:10.000 We genuinely enjoy each other's company.

02:32:12.000 And I think we have a good sex life.

02:32:14.000 So things are good on that side.

02:32:16.000 And we're doing well.

02:32:20.000 But we wanted to know your thoughts on like interventions to have children.

02:32:27.000 Not necessarily like IVF.

02:32:30.000 How old are you?

02:32:33.000 I'm 32 and he is 36.

02:32:36.000 I know I sound young.

02:32:39.000 He's got to stop watching porn.

02:32:42.000 Do we?

02:32:44.000 We?

02:32:46.000 You can watch porn until the towers come on.

02:32:48.000 He has to stop watching porn.

02:32:54.000 Why do you say that?

02:32:56.000 So we can see that he is watching porn.

02:33:00.000 When you masturbate, when a man masturbates, not only is he blowing all his important sperm into a sock, but he's also less devoted to the female.

02:33:10.000 You have to make the only way a man can drink water is from one tap.

02:33:16.000 And that's the way that he does that a whole lot.

02:33:21.000 No, not a whole lot.

02:33:22.000 Zero.

02:33:24.000 Zero.

02:33:25.000 Okay, no, I don't.

02:33:26.000 Yeah, okay.

02:33:27.000 Now, here's the deal.

02:33:28.000 He came up with this with the Proud Boys, but he can beat off.

02:33:33.000 Like, say you had your period and a stray dog just barfed on your cunt and it's not going to happen tonight. 0.92

02:33:40.000 He can beat off, but it has to be within one yard of you with your consent.

02:33:46.000 And maybe you could reach over and tickle his balls or push his taint or something. 0.56

02:33:50.000 As long as you're sharing intimacy, right?

02:33:54.000 He can never ejaculate alone.

02:33:56.000 Okay, maybe once a month.

02:33:58.000 Once every 30 days, you can beat off alone.

02:34:00.000 But when he's beating off alone, he's looking at someone else on his phone, he's coveting thy neighbor's wife, you're sending bad signals to your brain that you've been with other women and other stuff.

02:34:12.000 It's an infidelity.

02:34:13.000 And it's not good for the general programming.

02:34:17.000 When you are the only vessel for his sexual release, then it sends information to you, to your brain, to your synapses, to everyone, that this is the one.

02:34:31.000 Like the brains don't know what porn is.

02:34:34.000 So even if he watches it occasionally, his brain goes, all right, this is a guy who's pretty darn committed, but he does occasionally fuck a bunch of meth heads in LA.

02:34:46.000 And that's confusing to his brain.

02:34:52.000 So porn has to be cut out entirely.

02:34:54.000 And I swear to God, I hate all this like, I'm ovulating on Thursday, let's make love.

02:34:59.000 And you've got like her ankles in your hand and you're like, oh, it's the big Thursday.

02:35:04.000 Like that's not good for anyone.

02:35:07.000 Just quit porn and fuck whenever you possibly can and you will get pregnant. 1.00

02:35:13.000 Okay, cool.

02:35:15.000 Thank you for calling.

02:35:16.000 Thank you.

02:35:18.000 No ums allowed.

02:35:20.000 No, just cums.

02:35:22.000 Just comes.

02:35:24.000 Get fired.

02:35:25.000 Get in trouble.

02:35:25.000 Be brave and never stop fighting.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - July 09, 2020

GOML LIVE #55 - ATHEISM IS UNSTOPPABLE

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