GOML LIVE #58 - LIVE STREAM FAIL (Part 1)
Summary
This week on Get Off My Lawn with Devin Kimmins, we talk about the best and worst things about being a parent, and the things we do to keep our kids entertained in the meantime. We also talk about our favorite kid-friendly music, and what we do with our kids when we don't have them. We also discuss the new movie, Re-Awakening, starring Will Smith, directed by Rob Reel Blades, and how it's coming to theaters on November 16th, 2020. Get off my lawn with Devin! Get On My Lawn is a production of Gimlet Media and produced by Riley Bray. Our theme song is Come Alone by Suneaters, courtesy of Lotuspool Records. Our ad music is by Build Buildings. This episode was edited by Annie-Rose Strasser and mixed by Alex Blumberg. It was mixed by Matthew Boll and Matthew Boll. Special thanks to Rachel Ward. Thanks to our sponsor, R-E-A-LINGER. We are a proud sponsor of the show, R/AEWEL! and our sponsor is R/DEY! Thank you to our patron, Reel Aesthetic! for sponsoring the show. and we hope you enjoy the show and enjoy the music on this episode! We'll see you next week with a new episode of the podcast, Reel With Reel It's Aesthetic, featuring the band, Reakened! by Reel featuring our new music and our new logo by Reakena! Check us out on VaynerBoyin and the movie Reel On The Ground, made by R/Awakening. . Thanks Reel Off The Lawn with Reel on Reel. - Reel's Reel, Reeled In! - This episode brought to you by R-Azz and Reeled in by Reedel, the Reel: The Movie, Reakening, and Reel To You, the Movie by Reeling It's a Podcast by Reeled On the Ground and Reeling In. Reaken On the Field, and The Reel Things. , and the Reaken Out on the Grounded, and Thank You For It's All About It! , we'll See You, Reeling On It, and We'll See Us On The Life And We'll Talk About It, We'll Get It Out.
Transcript
00:00:13.000
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Devin Kimmins!
00:00:19.000
But I, I, I'll head to class, trying my best on every test I pass.
00:00:41.000
One of the cool things about having kids is they turn you on to hot new jams.
00:00:45.000
And that was Odd Ones Out, paired with another YouTuber, Boyinaband.
00:01:05.000
If they have a hundred million views, I think they have to be paying attention.
00:01:19.000
FGTV is my boy's, he's seven, his other favorite one, and they are fucking, they make like 40 million dollars a year.
00:01:42.000
I listen to Kids Place Live in the car if I'm feeling generous with the kids.
00:01:54.000
You gotta understand that your mom's kind of busy.
00:02:04.000
Like it's worse than at least Sesame Street was like the letter B, but now it's like, Hey, you gotta be patient buddy.
00:02:13.000
Or this other either reads these books, these audio books, doesn't read these books, but it's like, uh, Nate,
00:02:21.000
There's Captain Underpants, but there's Big Nate.
00:02:36.000
And when he narrates these books, they go, and then I wanted to hear what the principal had to say, but he wasn't listening to me anytime soon.
00:02:58.000
And it's great for a little kid, and I'm glad that Big Nate exists, because all my... Both my boys went through a Big Nate phase, but... Holy crap, I can't imagine... Well, don't sign up for the audiobook, there's gotta be something on YouTube.
00:03:21.000
I can't imagine a... I'd rather like go undercover in a biker gang and risk my life every day.
00:03:38.000
Social studies is officially the highlight of my day.
00:03:41.000
I like it better than English, and science, and math.
00:03:45.000
I even like it better than art, which is really saying something, since I happen to be Nate Wright, artistic genius.
00:03:55.000
You're probably thinking... Yeah, I could see how kids would enjoy that.
00:03:57.000
So when that's, he has that on in the kitchen in the morning, I just like, I'll have my, uh...
00:04:06.000
And sometimes we would draw together and I have to put in headphones.
00:04:10.000
I came across one of the type of cringe like in the wild while watching Jeopardy the other day and it was like this girl who was like, she's like, so I understand you jumped into a lake.
00:04:21.000
And it was so cold that I'm just getting the feeling back in my leg.
00:04:25.000
And everybody's like, it was like old sitcom corny.
00:04:30.000
My wife does that, that fake laugh when we're with strangers and it's like, oh sorry, I didn't know they were over there.
00:04:56.000
We want to talk about Blade's movie, made by ReelAwakening.com, R-E-E-L.
00:05:03.000
This episode was brought to you by Blades, the movie from ReelAwakening.com.
00:05:09.000
Check out the comedy Blades at ReelAwakening.com.
00:05:13.000
These guys support Censored.TV, so we're supporting them.
00:05:18.000
And we'd like to wish happy birthday to Charles.
00:05:31.000
You know, I just got back from a baseball game.
00:05:42.000
I'm known as the only racist in my all-white neighborhood, and none of these people have ever met a black person or a brown person, nor do they know how to talk to them.
00:05:54.000
Some black people in the neighboring town started to walk their dogs in our little park, and the whole town had a nervous breakdown, and now there's a fence with giant chains.
00:06:04.000
And it closes at noon, because blacks went near them.
00:06:10.000
The only thing they hate more than racists is blacks.
00:06:16.000
Like I thought, back when the shit was really hitting the fan, this woman jogged by me, and she saw me and my driver, and she goes,
00:06:23.000
And blow snot out of her nose onto my driveway.
00:06:25.000
This is a woman whose home is probably worth two million bucks.
00:06:28.000
Her husband makes, you know, two million a year.
00:06:40.000
So she doesn't do anything but just stay thin so she doesn't get dumped.
00:06:43.000
And she chose a neighborhood that's all white, the whitest place I've ever lived.
00:06:47.000
And the schools are not, it's easier just to count the black kids.
00:06:51.000
In each school, there's probably like three black kids.
00:07:06.000
And if you increase that number, the snot blowers would have a fucking heart attack.
00:07:10.000
But yet they're the most dogmatic about racial equality.
00:07:18.000
But it's something that's not really in my mind.
00:07:34.000
Why don't blow snot at fucking anti-semites, white supremacists, black supremacists?
00:07:50.000
When I see kids walking around with shower shoes and fucking ankle socks, I want to chop their legs off.
00:07:57.000
When I see kids swimming with underwear on underneath their bathing suit, what the fuck?
00:08:10.000
I don't want my, my kids, my sons will never wear Birkenstocks.
00:08:17.000
Although they have... I have conceded to let them wear slides to the pool.
00:08:25.000
Woke up very early because I was drunk the night before.
00:08:30.000
Had a bit of an argument with my boy, my eldest boy.
00:08:34.000
My wife had the tenacity and the lovingness to get a little pack of cards.
00:08:42.000
And she, there's questions that you ask the fam.
00:08:45.000
Like, if you could have three wishes, what would they be?
00:08:47.000
It's a silly little thing to get everyone in the family talking when she pulled it out after dinner.
00:08:52.000
And so his first thing he goes is, uh, I don't know much about baseball and he knows everything about baseball.
00:08:58.000
So I'll ask him a question like, Hey, if it bounces right in front of the plate, but then goes over the line, is that a foul?
00:09:13.000
So the first wish he has is that he wished my dad knew something about baseball so then I could, you know, learn more from him and I could be in the MLB.
00:09:21.000
And if you knew the background of how many times I said, stop doing the smile or we're leaving this park now, like Citi Field watching a game.
00:09:33.000
And then, and I'm just like, I'm getting madder and madder.
00:09:37.000
And then the next time the questions go around and he goes, what would your wish be?
00:09:42.000
And you go, I wish we would never do family night ever again.
00:09:45.000
I took my plate and I went over to the sink and just smashed it in the sink.
00:09:52.000
So today I thought, let's take it down a notch.
00:10:17.000
I started pissing my pants and woke the fuck up.
00:10:51.000
And I, if I had any doubts, I saw my wife lying down on that couch the next morning, reading the newspaper.
00:11:01.000
Milo, you can put your plastic on the couch when I sit down, but I don't do that anymore.
00:11:32.000
Maybe if it had more batteries, this wouldn't be an issue.
00:11:35.000
And by the way, clock manufacturers, this is not a Sony Walkman.
00:11:41.000
So the second that this isn't going to be accurate, it should just stop.
00:11:46.000
Like, sort of the time is not really working for us as people who need to know what time it is.
00:11:55.000
Reminds me of the Canadian rap band, the Dream Warriors.
00:12:14.000
It's one of the few Canadian things that made it across the border.
00:12:45.000
There's two different... That one there in jail.
00:13:14.000
Um, so that, let's... Let's take it down on the fuckin' Nazi dad.
00:13:20.000
I gotta reestablish my relationship with my boy.
00:13:32.000
And there is a pool there that is the biggest pool I've ever been in in my life.
00:13:51.000
And when you're a drinker, you wake up usually like five and you have about an hour and a half of hell where it's just living nightmares and you can't sleep and you feel awake.
00:14:00.000
Then if you waited out, you'll go back to sleep for an hour.
00:14:04.000
So you have crippling nightmares, shocking fear.
00:14:11.000
And, uh... Oh, that's an old... They removed the slide and the diving boards.
00:14:20.000
It just seems like... And the bars are still there.
00:15:06.000
But that's like all blacks and Hispanics, and Italians who grew up in the Bronx, so they're basically Hispanic.
00:15:13.000
Like Tommy Bags goes, hey Gavin, how about this heat, huh?
00:15:30.000
Because they weren't white, like I guess three generations ago, they weren't white in the fifties.
00:15:38.000
Catholics have been persona non grata until very recently.
00:15:45.000
So that's a very Hispanic morning, black and Hispanic.
00:15:48.000
And then we go to that pool that is, I think there was three white people there out of maybe 200.
00:16:07.000
Oh, that, that, that one gives you a better idea.
00:16:21.000
Um, so we hang out with the Rikens and I noticed like the kids, when you live in a big house, which I do not recommend,
00:16:35.000
Now, eventually the daughter gets so old, she gets her period and stuff, and she can't be with men.
00:16:40.000
And she wants to, you know, I don't know, try on her makeup and shit.
00:16:46.000
But you should keep your kids together in the same room for as long as possible.
00:16:48.000
And when you get in a big house, one kid's there, you're in the basement.
00:16:58.000
It's easier for me to check my cameras on my phone, because I have perspectives of everywhere, than to go check what's going on up there.
00:17:06.000
Because with my phone, I can see in 30 directions at once.
00:17:20.000
Show us a picture of the pool at the Franklin D. Roosevelt Nature Preserve.
00:17:56.000
And then you think, well, maybe I'm being a dick.
00:17:58.000
So then you slide over to your computer and it's like, boom, picture.
00:18:22.000
Just 40 miles from NYC, there's another one in Google Images.
00:18:48.000
There was a weird sort of bunch of Mongolians that showed up.
00:18:54.000
The big wide square jaws like Charles Bronson looking dudes?
00:19:09.000
I just wanted to go up to him and touch him and go, uh, guy.
00:19:31.000
Like a little kid in his boxer briefs and then his dad in like nice boxer briefs.
00:19:38.000
I didn't think that something could annoy me more than bathing suits with underwear, but the Mongolians proved me right.
00:19:45.000
They found me something worse, and that is, I should say proved me wrong, and that is just underwear.
00:19:54.000
And there was a bathroom there, by the way, that was not heavily frequented.
00:19:58.000
There was not exactly a ton of men running and lining up to use the urinals, which is disheartening.
00:20:07.000
Then I came back, recorded a show here for like a banked show where we go through the mailbag.
00:20:18.000
We've been having a lot of trouble with the Justice for Liberty site.
00:20:25.000
So I'm just gonna raise money on Cameo and through the Doodle Auctions, and then send, uh, and then send that to the fund.
00:20:37.000
So the site will no longer be where you donate, it will just say what the total is and how many donors, and then I'll use all this Cameo money and all the auction money and send it there.
00:20:49.000
So I guess the number of donors will be confusing.
00:20:54.000
Maybe I'll just stop, take that number down and it'll just be the total.
00:20:59.000
Anyway, I got about fucking... I signed up around 3pm today and I have maybe a hundred people paying fifty bucks.
00:21:10.000
And you know what we're gonna do for the cameo?
00:21:12.000
We're going to green screen it and make it cool.
00:21:14.000
None of this, like, I saw Ice Cube's son just on the homepage going, Yo, what's up?
00:21:28.000
So we're gonna do it in the studio with green screens, pictures, movies behind me, music.
00:21:38.000
I'm gonna try to make sure they're all in the studio.
00:21:45.000
And I know people have a lot of trouble spelling my name.
00:21:56.000
Although the guy in my studio is like a Rican, I guess.
00:22:06.000
And we were playing a local town, New Rochelle, Hispanic kids.
00:22:28.000
So let's, I, we might've seen this one, but let's play it again.
00:22:32.000
Hey, hey, Jake, this is Vince Nino from Olly Crew.
00:22:35.000
Hey, buddy, just want to wish you a very happy birthday on New Year's Eve.
00:22:39.000
And, uh, this is from, uh, from, from, actually it's from Jess, Veronica, and Itchy.
00:22:45.000
So have a, have a great birthday and, uh, take care, man.
00:22:52.000
Wait, if you're not doing this for charity and it's, you're in a private jet, then why are you doing this?
00:23:21.000
Manny Pacquiao makes, what, $20 million a fight?
00:23:27.000
Uh, he doesn't need to be on there, first of all.
00:23:30.000
Second of all, if somebody's gonna pay a thousand dollars... What are you doing?
00:23:48.000
Sheridan and Rachel, happy 9th anniversary, both of you.
00:23:53.000
May God bless you and thank you for all your support, all your prayers and support.
00:24:04.000
Mine is gonna be so fucking good, especially when I'm up against all these shitty lame-os.
00:24:09.000
Like, it's so clear that you don't give a shit about the people.
00:24:41.000
This episode is brought to you by Johnny Apple CBD.
00:24:43.000
Johnny Apple CBD is my CBD because they support free speech and they love America.
00:24:47.000
Right now, my listeners get 20% off all Johnny Apple CBD products with promo code Gavin.
00:25:03.000
They got those gummy things that help you sleep.
00:25:07.000
I had a coffee in a Red Bull this morning, and I felt sketchy.
00:25:10.000
And I had some tinctures, and I felt totally normal, but I still had the coffee buzz.
00:25:21.000
Like those delicious cookies, and the cartridges for your vape.
00:25:25.000
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00:25:31.000
And CBD, by the way, is just pot without the getting-you-high part.
00:25:35.000
But if you are going to get CBD, why not support our sponsors?
00:25:41.000
I wrote a note to myself while I was watching the game.
00:25:44.000
So this black kid on the other team, these kids are all 11, 12 years old, right?
00:25:50.000
He runs forward and the ball bounces out of his glove.
00:26:01.000
See he had his sunglasses on and as he dove for the ball his sunglasses bounced off his glove and From far away if you're not you see something go like that and it looks like a ball coming up, right?
00:26:19.000
I thought this is really crucial because if he had been given the talk where he's told everyone is racist, then that incident would be like, I can't catch a break cause I'm black.
00:26:31.000
He was out and everyone said, no, he's not out.
00:26:34.000
Let's something about my sunglasses, some bullshit lie about my sunglasses.
00:26:45.000
And if he hadn't been taught that, he wasn't taught the talk, then he just goes, oh shit, my sunglasses fell off.
00:26:54.000
Like when I told you I pretended I was black one day.
00:27:01.000
And I sat down next to that guy we now call C. Kiffa, the South African.
00:27:05.000
And when I sat down and I think he moved over, this is before I had met him.
00:27:14.000
But as white me, I realized he was hitting on that girl.
00:27:17.000
So you can, once you get into that negative mindset of everyone's out to get me, then everything is about you.
00:27:30.000
When you think the Jews are responsible for everything, it rains on your birthday and it was the fucking Jews.
00:27:43.000
You're just kind of an eyebrow thing there, too.
00:27:55.000
And I kind of wish I knew if... I feel like if he went home and went, yeah, mom, I caught a kid out and they said, no, he's not out because of this, obviously.
00:28:13.000
And then I also went to, I got my kids some burritos, more Hispanic stuff.
00:28:29.000
I go, a kid's burrito and then a normal size burrito, but the same thing in both.
00:29:03.000
And I made a note to myself, can we watch some footage of Clark Kent?
00:29:10.000
It's women writing these terrible blog articles.
00:29:13.000
It's Molly Jong Fast, the editor-at-large at Daily Beast, and her shitty comments.
00:29:21.000
She just tweeted out recently, uh, if you're anti-Antifa, then you're anti-antifascism, so aren't you pro-fascist?
00:29:32.000
And she's barfing out that fucking juvenile logic?
00:29:36.000
Yeah, and if you're pro-choice, you're anti-life.
00:29:39.000
And if you eat buffalo wings, then you're not eating birds, you're eating buffaloes.
00:30:13.000
I should try to get involved, or if it doesn't work out, I'll sue them.
00:30:18.000
Oh, that's one... That's a woman doing something feminine.
00:30:34.000
Now the only thing different between Clark Kent and Women in the Workforce is Clark isn't going to sue them to death and try to get four million dollars.
00:30:42.000
Remember those black women we had on the show the other day who were suing because racism made their babies shrink?
00:30:49.000
People are so racist here that my baby came out.
00:31:12.000
He sends a check every week to his sweet gray-haired old mother.
00:31:26.000
And there are competent women in the workforce, don't get me wrong.
00:31:45.000
They run the company's social media and they blog and blog and write and write and come up with crap!
00:31:57.000
People smarter than me keep telling me and I don't get it.
00:32:40.000
I noticed, now the smart guy who told me this, I would put in new, I'd make up five numbers.
00:32:55.000
Illinois officials announced exactly the number you said, 1,462 new cases of coronavirus.
00:33:19.000
Okay, so smart people say to me, this is fucked up.
00:33:29.000
As Jim Gode said, this is a World War II moment.
00:33:34.000
Our kids are gonna have weird tics about washing their hands and masks and stuff.
00:33:41.000
So there's been probably millions of articles written about this, not just in America, but all over the English-speaking world.
00:33:49.000
Because we're obviously not pulling up German articles, right?
00:33:51.000
So England, America, Canada, Australia, New Zealand.
00:34:02.000
It's like someone's talked about, they found this book about pandemics, and it said that there'll be this corona-linked virus that will cause a global pandemic, and it'll start in China, and everyone was freaking out that this author saw the future, and I'm like, I don't know, there's probably 742,000 pandemic thrillers that go back 50 years or so.
00:34:27.000
Yeah, you're gonna say China, and they always come from fucking China.
00:34:30.000
So you don't think it's like a glitch where it just changes the number or some crap like that?
00:34:35.000
You think that there's an article for every single number?
00:34:40.000
That this article used to say 741 and now it says 777?
00:34:47.000
I mean... You think they have these organic headlines that are linked to the bar search?
00:34:54.000
Where can... It could be altered based on what you type.
00:35:00.000
So to the smart guy that sent me this, I don't get what you're freaked out about.
00:35:04.000
And I took your three and I raised you to 10,000.
00:35:52.000
So maybe that did say 13,333 and then it went down or up or something.
00:35:58.000
Anyway, maybe you folks at home can tell me why that's so fucking crazy.
00:36:10.000
I told you today I was going to go through the parenting thing and talk about babies and then two to three.
00:36:16.000
We were going through it earlier and it's like a two hour thing.
00:36:19.000
We only have half an hour or 25 minutes before we start taking calls.
00:36:22.000
I'm going to make it a censored dot TV presents and really take my time because I'm talking about how to raise kids.
00:36:28.000
And again, I'm no fucking expert, but I think I did a pretty good job.
00:36:34.000
13 years of something that I work hard on every single day.
00:36:40.000
So we'll be postponing that probably till Thursday.
00:36:47.000
Uh, where we're going to be broadcasting live from a secret location.
00:36:52.000
Um, so it's going to take us a while to get to that location.
00:36:55.000
So Monday and Tuesday we have Mailbag, catching up on the Mailbag episodes.
00:36:59.000
Then live from our secret location, seven days from now.
00:37:04.000
And then, uh, Thursday, so a week tomorrow, we'll do the thing.
00:37:16.000
So if you liked anything, the way to get to the auction, it's very hard.
00:37:19.000
So I advise people you go to censored.tv and then look at Doodle Auction.
00:37:35.000
So that's just in the past month or so, we've raised $6,000 for them.
00:37:45.000
If we keep doing this, by the time those guys get out, I feel like they might be able to have $50,000 each.
00:37:51.000
Nothing, it doesn't make up for the four years they were incarcerated, but it's something.
00:38:04.000
If I were you, I'd be bidding on my History of Western Civilization, History of America.
00:38:15.000
After the paywall, which is, we're gonna hang up on you freeloaders.
00:38:31.000
Some guy who was called the best of Gavin McInnes.
00:38:41.000
It's probably good for business to have a bunch of five-minuters.
00:38:46.000
And it was when I was talking about nice white people.
00:38:49.000
That was the clip that finally broke the camel's back.
00:38:52.000
And if you recall, that was me saying the New York Times was right.
00:38:55.000
They should be mocking these liberals that don't send their kids to mixed schools after talking about it and say they will.
00:39:01.000
It was a very effective and cool way to lampoon liberals.
00:39:05.000
And that is why I'm persona non grata, because I'm persuasive and I'm no longer a lefty.
00:39:23.000
So after the paywall, the 300 people who watch BitChute are missing out on this.
00:39:41.000
Um, Caller 1, and please, Ryan, tune in to Caller 1 and Caller 2.
00:39:48.000
Free $50 Bub and Hanks gift card, bubandhanks.com, plus two pairs of Heshy socks.
00:39:58.000
Hesheware.com, promo code Gavin, 20% off all orders.
00:40:05.000
Are you writing a note to yourself to remember the first two callers?
00:40:20.000
We're going to give you a free pair of Collar 1.
00:40:40.000
Socks and the Beef don't have them at the same time.
00:40:42.000
And don't put the meat on your feet and eat the socks.
00:40:49.000
Oh, also, our ad guy is sticking to his guns with this censored claws bit.
00:40:55.000
And he says, why does censored claws always come through the chimney?
00:41:01.000
Because he knows better than to try the back door.
00:41:09.000
So I assume that he's got a hold of a Santa joke book.
00:41:13.000
And it's changing the jokes from Santa to Censored Claus.
00:41:17.000
Alright, so that's us signing out for the free portion of the show, which of course is paid for by sponsors.
00:41:32.000
About political correctness, professors getting fired.
00:41:36.000
I don't know if we're going to have riot exhaustion.
00:41:45.000
I feel like my body wants me to have a Gatorade, but I want to have a beer.
00:41:52.000
Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
00:42:02.000
I'll keep going in, then I'll party on the weekend, I'll sing!