Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - August 06, 2020


GOML LIVE #59 - LIVE FROM ATLANTIC CITY


Episode Stats


Length

28 minutes

Words per minute

146.30663

Word count

4,199

Sentence count

542

Harmful content

Misogyny

27

sentences flagged

Toxicity

315

sentences flagged

Hate speech

57

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

The boys are in Atlantic City, and Ryan is in a bathtub with a glass of water, and they talk about the Unabomber. They also talk about a new invention that could be used to cover up your dick.

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:02:05.000 Isn't it more a game to hide your penis and ball for you? 1.00
00:02:10.000 Maybe. 1.00
00:02:13.000 Now that you mentioned it. 1.00
00:02:14.000 Yeah, I don't care about my penis and mall. 1.00
00:02:17.000 I do. 1.00
00:02:18.000 I'll hit him in your face. 1.00
00:02:19.000 I'll hit him in your mother's face. 1.00
00:02:21.000 Your finger touching mine. 1.00
00:02:23.000 That's terrible.
00:02:24.000 And that's part of the joke.
00:02:26.000 That's why we're in a tiny bat pot. 1.00
00:02:26.000 Oh, that's golden. 1.00
00:02:29.000 That's why it's funny.
00:02:30.000 The worst.
00:02:33.000 No splashing food.
00:02:36.000 Right?
00:02:36.000 That's the joke.
00:02:41.000 All right, so we're going to do GML live.
00:02:44.000 We obviously can't take calls.
00:02:46.000 We had some trouble with the shows this week.
00:02:50.000 So we put up Monday.
00:02:52.000 We pre-recorded a Tuesday mailbag.
00:02:58.000 It did not work because Ryan didn't send it to the cloud.
00:03:02.000 He brought it to his home, which is just north of the Bronx.
00:03:07.000 And north of the Bronx is a dead zone.
00:03:09.000 So we can't get to his computer because we're out in Atlantic City.
00:03:14.000 We could drive back.
00:03:15.000 Power outages.
00:03:16.000 But we don't respect you enough to drive back.
00:03:21.000 Are these stirrups?
00:03:22.000 I think this is how you...
00:03:27.000 Yeah.
00:03:28.000 Don't show that.
00:03:30.000 You could have just left the briefs on.
00:03:32.000 I don't understand why the naked part's so important. 1.00
00:03:34.000 Well, now you have to dry that shit, and we're leaving tomorrow morning. 0.99
00:03:38.000 That's fine. 1.00
00:03:38.000 throw these underwears away. 1.00
00:03:39.000 I mean, as far as the Yeah. 0.93
00:03:43.000 I have underwear under the swim trunks because the netting bothers my genitals.
00:03:50.000 And I'll just dry the swim trunks. 0.97
00:03:55.000 The netting doesn't bother your genitals? 0.99
00:03:58.000 This is the lie of your generation? 0.99
00:03:58.000 No. 0.99
00:04:01.000 No.
00:04:02.000 You people wear underwear with your bathing suit.
00:04:05.000 I don't usually do that, but this is like an old-fashioned one.
00:04:08.000 There's a hand-me-down from I don't even know who, and it's rough.
00:04:13.000 You wouldn't like it. 1.00
00:04:14.000 Oh, it's sandpaper on your dick. 1.00
00:04:14.000 It's rough. 1.00
00:04:18.000 So someone built a bathing suit that corrodes a bag.
00:04:23.000 Yeah, there's plenty of room for innovation when they made this. 0.98
00:04:25.000 No, that's not fucking true. 0.85
00:04:27.000 I think they could. 0.98
00:04:28.000 tell you what's going on.
00:04:29.000 Your generation, your people... 0.90
00:04:32.000 I thought you were going to say my genitals. 0.97
00:04:33.000 I was like... 0.99
00:04:38.000 Which is gay, by the way. 1.00
00:04:40.000 To look at dicks. 1.00
00:04:41.000 That you wear underwear so no one sees the contours of your penis. 1.00
00:04:46.000 The same way you're playing with your faggot hair right now. 1.00
00:04:49.000 I'm just kicking it back. 1.00
00:04:50.000 Thank you.
00:05:01.000 Did you see that Joe Biden thing? 0.99
00:05:03.000 If my dick shows up in the stream, keep in mind that it's quite cold. 0.99
00:05:08.000 We've had this water prepared for an hour. 0.99
00:05:11.000 Yeah, where'd the bubbles go?
00:05:13.000 How did you eradicate the bubbles on?
00:05:18.000 That's what you're filming, sir.
00:05:20.000 But is there a way to achieve a beer here?
00:05:23.000 Let's throw some code names, because everybody is anonymous.
00:05:27.000 13. 0.99
00:05:29.000 Are gay leopards? 0.99
00:05:31.000 No, definitely not that. 1.00
00:05:32.000 Everyone we're with here is gay. 0.96
00:05:35.000 That's not true. 0.98
00:05:36.000 We're at a gay secret resort. 0.87
00:05:39.000 Oh we're not.
00:05:40.000 I don't know why you put that up.
00:05:43.000 But uh, is that the full beer?
00:05:45.000 Is that a true?
00:05:51.000 Alright, let's do the news!
00:05:53.000 Get the news today!
00:05:55.000 Beirut! 1.00
00:05:57.000 So when I saw Beirut blow up, which looked like a nuclear explosion, I went, oh shit. 0.99
00:06:06.000 And I did this- is it something we all do in the West? 0.99
00:06:10.000 Where we put our brains in other cultures' brains, and we go, oh, you have a perwatch. 0.97
00:06:17.000 In your country, like say, I had a perwatch.
00:06:21.000 We go, well, that can't be a mistake. 0.99
00:06:23.000 That must be some major fucking problem. 1.00
00:06:26.000 No, Arabs are retarded. 1.00
00:06:29.000 So what they did was they were storing ammonium nitrate to the tune of this entire hotel. 0.99
00:06:37.000 It was the Unabomber, I don't know.
00:06:40.000 Unabomber levels.
00:06:42.000 Actually the exact same amount.
00:06:46.000 Because this killed 100 people.
00:06:48.000 I don't know how much Timothy McVeigh killed.
00:06:50.000 I think he may have killed 800 people.
00:06:53.000 The more the numbers that used two tons and then this explores were like 200 tons or something like that.
00:06:59.000 You know what I mean?
00:06:59.000 Think about it.
00:07:00.000 Like Timothy McVeigh just did it in an afternoon.
00:07:02.000 This had been there for six years.
00:07:05.000 And the inspectors went, you're going to blow up all of Beirut.
00:07:08.000 This is really bad.
00:07:09.000 And they go, I think we're good.
00:07:12.000 Wasn't that the exact quote?
00:07:14.000 You're going to blow up all of Beirut? 1.00
00:07:15.000 Yeah, the exact quote was, you're going to blow up all of Beirut. 0.99
00:07:19.000 Ow. 0.99
00:07:22.000 And, um.
00:07:32.000 Turn off the jets.
00:07:35.000 Alright, so there's that.
00:07:36.000 And so have we explained why there's no show?
00:07:39.000 We did. 1.00
00:07:41.000 You fucked up. 1.00
00:07:42.000 Yep. 0.99
00:07:43.000 Should I apologize?
00:07:45.000 I'm sorry.
00:07:46.000 No, I don't think apologies mean anything.
00:07:48.000 That's a good point.
00:07:49.000 Why apologize?
00:07:54.000 If you just learn from it, that'll be good.
00:07:56.000 I see sensor.tv as a machine, as like a horse.
00:08:01.000 So the fact that you didn't upload this is like a broken foot on the left horse leg.
00:08:09.000 But it could be like, oh, we gotta bandage that up.
00:08:12.000 That's about it.
00:08:13.000 I can rehabilitate it.
00:08:14.000 I'm not out for the camera.
00:08:18.000 Down for the camera.
00:08:22.000 Is there another beer I can get?
00:08:27.000 Should I holler? 0.96
00:08:29.000 Is it gay that we're showing the same gay text? 0.97
00:08:32.000 Yeah.
00:08:33.000 I mean, there's a lot of gay things already in play, and I just don't want that to be a thing. 1.00
00:08:39.000 So if I feel like if I started a beer and I gifted it to you, that's fine.
00:08:43.000 But if we're just going back and forth, that's very weird.
00:08:46.000 Which is my thing.
00:08:47.000 Okay, let's also go through the news.
00:08:49.000 What else do we have going on?
00:08:52.000 We have the Seattle Washington governor did very well in the elections.
00:09:01.000 He nailed it.
00:09:02.000 He got 51% of the votes. 0.99
00:09:05.000 So this is during CHOP, during Chaz, the guy fucking, Texting the beer. 0.99
00:09:13.000 Texting the beer. 0.99
00:09:15.000 The guy did amazing.
00:09:18.000 That's shocking to me. 0.97
00:09:21.000 How the fuck did Seattle's governor, Washington's governor, do well and win 51% of the votes? 1.00
00:09:33.000 It wasn't around chop and chaz and all this shit. 0.99
00:09:37.000 It was down between, it was only two Democratic candidates, too. 0.98
00:09:41.000 There was no Republican choice.
00:09:43.000 Really?
00:09:44.000 Didn't I hear that?
00:09:44.000 Yeah.
00:09:46.000 Is that true?
00:09:46.000 Thumbs up on that?
00:09:48.000 Yeah.
00:09:48.000 He doesn't know.
00:09:49.000 There was 10, like...
00:09:52.000 I think there were 35.
00:09:53.000 Candidates total, and it was just down to two Democrats. 1.00
00:10:02.000 Because my dick is light. 1.00
00:10:07.000 Do the bubbles just come out? 1.00
00:10:08.000 Or do you have to add like bubble bath?
00:10:10.000 Every time you add a bubble bath.
00:10:12.000 But the jets kick it up.
00:10:13.000 Okay.
00:10:15.000 I have that annoying bubble thing in my swim shorts.
00:10:20.000 And so Seattle choppers completely gone, right?
00:10:23.000 I feel like with you, Ryan, though, like your job is politics, right?
00:10:29.000 Right.
00:10:30.000 So you I don't really care.
00:10:35.000 No, I do. 0.98
00:10:36.000 I fucking fancy that. 0.98
00:10:37.000 No, you don't. 0.99
00:10:38.000 Me and Tony, right?
00:10:40.000 Tony and Censor.
00:10:43.000 We have kids.
00:10:45.000 We're worried about taxes.
00:10:46.000 or worried about the future of the country, I don't think you really care about politics.
00:10:55.000 Sure I do.
00:10:56.000 I talk about politics to all sorts of people.
00:10:59.000 And I care.
00:11:00.000 Here's things I care about.
00:11:02.000 I care about a lot of the social things, like the cultural things, like ways that it impacts people that don't know about politics.
00:11:08.000 That's where I'm coming at it from.
00:11:09.000 Like, as a person who isn't politically, hasn't been politically engaged all my life, if it's affecting my life, like I get in trouble for saying this, I'm going to get fired for saying that.
00:11:19.000 Or like comedians.
00:11:20.000 That's what got me into it in the first place.
00:11:22.000 I'm like, that guy lost his job because he said, you know, this word or whatever.
00:11:25.000 That's when it starts to affect my life and I have to, you know, in response to a comedian.
00:11:31.000 Well, I like comedians.
00:11:33.000 I think I relate to people who do comedy, but I'm not a comedian.
00:11:36.000 As we've seen from my Imperial Guitar stand-up.
00:11:40.000 Why don't you do your bit that you do it?
00:11:41.000 I don't want to do that.
00:11:43.000 Do it.
00:11:44.000 Which one?
00:11:45.000 There are so many.
00:11:46.000 Wall cats.
00:11:47.000 That's the worst one.
00:11:49.000 So, my dad, you know, he's a Japanese guy, so when he writes a letter to me, he'll He usually.
00:12:00.000 So he has a pen.
00:12:02.000 Yeah.
00:12:02.000 You need an email.
00:12:04.000 No, no, no.
00:12:06.000 This was when you used to write your letters.
00:12:07.000 Oh, yeah.
00:12:09.000 And so he just does all caps because, you know, he didn't learn lowercase and all that.
00:12:13.000 So it's pretty easy.
00:12:13.000 Instead of learning, you know, the lower caps and all it's all caps.
00:12:18.000 So when you're reading it, it sounds like he's just yelling. 1.00
00:12:21.000 Sounds like the kind of lazy guy who would just fuck a Puerto Rican hairdresser, get her pregnant, and then go, oh, something wrong with that. 1.00
00:12:29.000 And then just like fly to LA. 1.00
00:12:31.000 He said nothing wrong with that.
00:12:33.000 Because he was like, I don't do anything.
00:12:35.000 And do you want to go to the beach?
00:12:39.000 That's the big punchline. 1.00
00:12:41.000 Are you playing with your testicles? 1.00
00:12:43.000 No, I'm drying my butt wall. 1.00
00:12:45.000 I can't believe I'm in the same. 0.93
00:12:47.000 You know, I thought it was just going to be you in the tub, so I was going to piss in the tub and then tell you that.
00:12:54.000 I don't care.
00:12:54.000 No, it's not fun, but...
00:12:57.000 And then have everybody here pee in the tub and then tell you afterwards.
00:13:01.000 But then I'm glad I didn't because. 0.99
00:13:03.000 This is not shit. 0.99
00:13:04.000 Okay, so let me try your joke. 0.99
00:13:06.000 So my dad is an immigrant.
00:13:09.000 And immigrants are cool, you know?
00:13:11.000 They built this country.
00:13:12.000 They're good at their job. 1.00
00:13:14.000 They fucking came in here and kicked ass and took names. 1.00
00:13:18.000 I think they had a civil war. 1.00
00:13:19.000 Didn't they get all the land from the Indians?
00:13:22.000 They did a good job.
00:13:23.000 They did a good job. 1.00
00:13:24.000 But my dad's from Japan, and he's a lazy piece of shit who is not around for me. 1.00
00:13:29.000 And what he does is he doesn't understand uppercase, lowercase. 0.99
00:13:34.000 Which is kind of a big deal.
00:13:37.000 It's kind of a big deal.
00:13:39.000 I'm actually getting insecure about this bit as I do it.
00:13:42.000 I'm with you.
00:13:43.000 So he texts me and he goes, we should go to the beach.
00:13:49.000 But he does it in all caps.
00:13:52.000 So it's, we should go to the beach.
00:13:55.000 And it gets to Pearl Harbor levels where I'm scared.
00:13:58.000 I'm scared for myself.
00:14:00.000 I'm scared for my family.
00:14:01.000 And he goes, we will have a good time.
00:14:05.000 And I get nervous that I'm being kidnapped. 1.00
00:14:07.000 And then I realize I'm dealing with a fucking... 0.99
00:14:11.000 That's not bad. 0.99
00:14:12.000 That's not bad.
00:14:13.000 The delivery of the actual voice, I'd say maybe.
00:14:18.000 As soon as if I see Dick, I think that they can.
00:14:22.000 So if you could be the judge on that. 1.00
00:14:24.000 Or if you see genitals, maybe kick her off. 1.00
00:14:27.000 That's why I came on. 1.00
00:14:28.000 You saw my genitals? 0.99
00:14:30.000 Yeah. 0.92
00:14:30.000 Okay, so keep in mind how cold it is in the water. 0.92
00:14:36.000 It's not representational.
00:14:38.000 No, but you hate.
00:14:40.000 So we can't take calls.
00:14:42.000 We are dealing with...
00:14:46.000 Go ahead.
00:14:47.000 Sure, make yourself at home.
00:14:49.000 You're the boss.
00:14:50.000 We're dealing with a guy who lives north of the Bronx, and all his data is stuck in a thing where even if we could call someone and say, get that show off the La C. It'd be terrible.
00:15:06.000 They need power and they need internet.
00:15:09.000 Right.
00:15:10.000 And also my fish tank is, there's a heater and a filter.
00:15:15.000 Oh, are your betas dead?
00:15:16.000 No, they're very hardy.
00:15:19.000 They'll live.
00:15:20.000 I guess my text went unanswered.
00:15:24.000 But yeah, that definitely is a problem.
00:15:28.000 But they're good episodes.
00:15:29.000 The mailbag 1 and 2.
00:15:31.000 And then Thursday is going to be really good.
00:15:32.000 That is the...
00:15:36.000 We can mention it?
00:15:37.000 So what we recorded was a Monday mailbag. 0.99
00:15:43.000 Seeing a lot of dick? 0.99
00:15:45.000 Not a lot, but... 1.00
00:15:53.000 That's never been done.
00:15:58.000 That'd be funny.
00:15:59.000 Like, that's still that's a bit.
00:16:00.000 It might be.
00:16:01.000 Like, you blow me, kidding.
00:16:04.000 And I'll be like, what the? 1.00
00:16:05.000 This is so stupid. 1.00
00:16:06.000 I'm just like, what's the retarded? 1.00
00:16:09.000 Let's say it is really funny.
00:16:10.000 You know, what are we sacrificing to get to them?
00:16:13.000 We're making fun of, like, the whole...
00:16:17.000 So you blow me.
00:16:18.000 Is that a thing?
00:16:19.000 Right? 1.00
00:16:20.000 And I'll be like, this is so stupid. 1.00
00:16:22.000 And then you could be like, what am I even doing? 0.99
00:16:25.000 And then after the third hour, we both go, we're stopping this. 0.94
00:16:30.000 This is ridiculous.
00:16:31.000 A lot of time. 0.96
00:16:33.000 This is a joke.
00:16:34.000 We neither of us enjoyed this.
00:16:35.000 I'd just like to ask you, what other type of joke goes for three hours?
00:16:41.000 Did you fart?
00:16:42.000 No, that was...
00:16:46.000 But they're off.
00:16:47.000 The jets are off.
00:16:50.000 And it stinks.
00:16:51.000 You know what's funny?
00:16:54.000 I swear to God, I didn't know fart.
00:16:57.000 Are you serious?
00:16:57.000 I swear my children's life.
00:16:59.000 Okay, I believe you.
00:17:01.000 Alright, so we got the Beirut thing.
00:17:04.000 What other news items should we discuss?
00:17:07.000 Killing the news.
00:17:08.000 The news is going very well.
00:17:08.000 It's not going very well.
00:17:09.000 Oh, this is going awesome.
00:17:11.000 So the news says So we're sitting at a hotel in a disclosed location, possibly Atlantic City. 1.00
00:17:20.000 We gambled last night with this fucking asshole who has this... 1.00
00:17:28.000 So he goes, here's $200. 1.00
00:17:30.000 Put it in the vending machine because we can only do vending machines.
00:17:34.000 And he goes, keep pushing the $100 one for 40 times and then push the $2,000 one and we're all going to get rich.
00:17:44.000 And I go, well, that sounds great.
00:17:46.000 So I do it.
00:17:47.000 This is your first time doing slots?
00:17:49.000 Yes.
00:17:50.000 Right.
00:17:50.000 22, 23, 24.
00:17:52.000 And I get to 40 and then I hit the $2,000 thing.
00:17:56.000 You lost.
00:17:57.000 You just lost all your money. 1.00
00:17:59.000 And he's like, he doesn't even go, oh shit, I'm wrong. 0.99
00:18:03.000 Because he's a sales guy. 0.99
00:18:04.000 You got to warm him up.
00:18:06.000 He says, hey, you got to get, we'll do it again.
00:18:09.000 And so I spent like $400 making $73.
00:18:13.000 He's like, we won! 1.00
00:18:16.000 I fucking hate casinos. 0.99
00:18:17.000 Thanks. 0.99
00:18:18.000 This is just one.
00:18:19.000 And here's my other problem with the guys we're staying with.
00:18:22.000 Thanks. 1.00
00:18:23.000 The fucking showers. 1.00
00:18:25.000 Like, the guy filming right now, he will have a shower for 40 minutes. 1.00
00:18:33.000 Like, I don't even think our systems with our boilers and everything are designed for that.
00:18:38.000 But he'll watch, he has a waterproof foam.
00:18:41.000 He'll watch YouTube videos.
00:18:43.000 I do that too.
00:18:44.000 You do that too?
00:18:46.000 It's a great time.
00:18:47.000 To do it.
00:18:48.000 To watch YouTube videos.
00:18:50.000 Because you're not going anywhere.
00:18:55.000 That's so self-indulgent.
00:18:56.000 But I don't use shampoo. 0.99
00:18:58.000 I don't give a fuck. 1.00
00:18:59.000 So you'll sit there and you'll watch like what, a 20 minute video? 1.00
00:19:02.000 No, no, no.
00:19:03.000 With water on it?
00:19:07.000 You prop it up in the soap holder or something like that, or you put it on the sink next to the shower.
00:19:13.000 Right?
00:19:15.000 You're trying.
00:19:16.000 And you're watching a video in the soap holder.
00:19:19.000 I listen.
00:19:19.000 Do you watch?
00:19:21.000 I listen.
00:19:23.000 I'm a listener when it comes to the shower.
00:19:25.000 How long will that go for it?
00:19:27.000 Normal shower time.
00:19:28.000 And then when you're getting ready, Normal shower time is one minute.
00:19:32.000 That's not true for me.
00:19:33.000 Can we bubble this up?
00:19:35.000 Oh, thank you.
00:19:36.000 Oh.
00:19:37.000 You want to take calls over speakerphone?
00:19:39.000 Can we do that?
00:19:41.000 I just thought of it.
00:19:42.000 I think we can.
00:19:43.000 Yeah, I don't think so. 1.00
00:19:45.000 Oh, shit, we got Vincent's fucking reading, dude. 0.99
00:19:48.000 This is brought to you by Great sponsor. 1.00
00:19:54.000 Love them to death.
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00:20:08.000 Also, Bubba and Sparks.
00:20:11.000 Hanks.
00:20:12.000 Bubba and Hanks.
00:20:13.000 Bubba and Hanks Beef.
00:20:14.000 They have the best hamburgers I ever had in my life.
00:20:17.000 Wagyu Beef.
00:20:18.000 All sorts of is a family-owned operation and it's the freshest stuff ever, basically.
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00:20:27.000 This guy was cynical.
00:20:28.000 This guy said, I don't want it.
00:20:31.000 And he got it and he was like, I like it now.
00:20:33.000 I thought the henshee was great for the mother, whichever one. 0.98
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00:20:40.000 The tincture.
00:20:40.000 The tinctures.
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00:20:45.000 They have it for pets.
00:20:46.000 You can put the ointment on your body.
00:20:50.000 Nothing wrong with that.
00:20:51.000 That's what I should do.
00:20:52.000 I should just shut up and literally do video sound drop imitations.
00:20:55.000 Yeah, I'd love to take calls.
00:20:58.000 Kevin?
00:21:00.000 Grab someone.
00:21:04.000 This human being came.
00:21:05.000 By the way, John Wayne stayed in this bathtub.
00:21:10.000 But the guy who rented this penthouse, whatever it is, he goes, John Wayne stayed here.
00:21:15.000 And I was like, yeah, it's possible he hated it here. 0.99
00:21:18.000 And he was like, I don't like this fucking shanty at all. 1.00
00:21:22.000 I shot that movie. 1.00
00:21:22.000 I had to stay at that fucking shit old motel. 1.00
00:21:26.000 Everybody praises it. 1.00
00:21:28.000 Not everywhere, like, it's not like every toilet John Wayne took a shit in is made of heaven. 0.98
00:21:35.000 He probably walked down 33rd Street too. 0.96
00:21:38.000 Yeah.
00:21:39.000 Did he make that magical? 1.00
00:21:40.000 Probably went to fucking Bushwick. 0.99
00:21:42.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:21:43.000 Speaking of Bushwick.
00:21:45.000 Home time.
00:21:52.000 Okay.
00:21:53.000 Reflection. 1.00
00:22:11.000 Oh, and also if you see Gavin's penis, you have to hit the bubbles. 1.00
00:22:17.000 A little cold. 0.99
00:22:19.000 Well, that's not the main promise.
00:22:21.000 It's a new deal.
00:22:23.000 So, what are you doing?
00:22:23.000 Are you filming the live stream?
00:22:26.000 I have no idea.
00:22:28.000 I think you are.
00:22:30.000 Can we hit the bubbles?
00:22:32.000 Alright.
00:22:33.000 Okay, it's just my captain.
00:22:35.000 I love that you're so worried about my healing.
00:22:38.000 I am.
00:22:39.000 Because I'm so close to it.
00:22:42.000 I'm so close to it.
00:22:42.000 Her.
00:22:43.000 You know what? 0.80
00:22:44.000 It's big enough to wrap around your neck twice.
00:22:47.000 I'll just take your word for it.
00:22:48.000 No need to...
00:22:56.000 So, is this part of the model?
00:22:58.000 Yeah.
00:23:01.000 That's how that's more of.
00:23:04.000 So.
00:23:05.000 Yes, right?
00:23:07.000 We can't tell people where we are.
00:23:10.000 We can't tell people who we're with.
00:23:13.000 It's going pretty good.
00:23:14.000 Isn't it weird, though? 0.99
00:23:15.000 Like, if you're liberal and you're fucking Chris Hayes or Rachel Maddow. 0.98
00:23:22.000 You can literally be like, here's my baby's address. 0.99
00:23:24.000 Yeah, here's my kid.
00:23:25.000 Go send her a gift. 0.92
00:23:27.000 I'll actually send you my kid for the weekend.
00:23:28.000 Here's her address.
00:23:29.000 Just send her back. 1.00
00:23:30.000 I can't send my fucking nephew's address. 0.99
00:23:33.000 I can't even acknowledge my cousins and their names. 1.00
00:23:38.000 Absolutely.
00:23:39.000 Cool.
00:23:40.000 Yeah.
00:23:43.000 Bananas.
00:23:45.000 Tony, is this going on on the Skype?
00:23:49.000 I think so.
00:23:51.000 You know what?
00:23:51.000 Do you mind passing me the phone?
00:23:53.000 What are you going to do with the zips on your forehead?
00:23:56.000 This was cool.
00:23:58.000 Can you get a cream?
00:24:01.000 It's so rude.
00:24:06.000 Yeah.
00:24:06.000 And you've never talked to this person before?
00:24:09.000 No, never.
00:24:10.000 And the first thing that came out of your mouth is, wow, you have a lot of acne.
00:24:15.000 Yeah.
00:24:15.000 And then you said, well, I've done a lot to treat it.
00:24:17.000 And then you said, well, obviously it doesn't work.
00:24:19.000 And you don't know this man.
00:24:21.000 That's correct.
00:24:22.000 Imagine this is a little rude.
00:24:24.000 Yes.
00:24:25.000 But no part of you wanted to stop saying that.
00:24:29.000 I don't like sitting here in a hot tub alone. 0.98
00:24:33.000 We're doing this as a joke, and it's funny because it's like a gay thing with chink. 1.00
00:24:38.000 I don't think so. 0.58
00:24:39.000 But imagine no one knew I was here, and I'm sitting here in this bath just getting a hot bath.
00:24:49.000 That kind of makes sense.
00:24:50.000 It's not stimulating.
00:24:51.000 That is the whack.
00:24:52.000 I couldn't imagine...
00:24:55.000 You're not part of the massages.
00:24:57.000 But like sitting here alone, all alone. 0.99
00:25:00.000 I understand if you, you're probably, if you're Tom Wayne, you probably brought a groupie back and you're fucking, maybe you fucked her up against that. 0.99
00:25:07.000 That makes sense. 0.99
00:25:08.000 I get that.
00:25:09.000 But the idea of just being alone.
00:25:12.000 And this is a one-person talk.
00:25:13.000 I don't get alone.
00:25:15.000 Like, these guys are going on vacation alone and they go swimming. 0.99
00:25:20.000 And then they put a fucking towel on the beach and they're like, oh, that's awesome. 0.98
00:25:25.000 And then they go and they eat like a pineapple surprise at the Hawaiian like, what are you doing? 1.00
00:25:33.000 That's my favorite treat.
00:25:34.000 Pineapple surprise.
00:25:36.000 I talked about this once with my brother-in-law.
00:25:39.000 And then I realized that's all he does.
00:25:41.000 Oh yeah.
00:25:42.000 He got super pissed.
00:25:43.000 That hurt my feelings when you were.
00:25:44.000 You had perked me today.
00:25:46.000 Yeah, I didn't realize.
00:25:47.000 I go on the beach, I lay down a lot, I get massages, I would do a hot tub if there was one.
00:25:47.000 Yeah.
00:25:52.000 But I'm starting to see your point.
00:25:52.000 Yeah, that's the thing.
00:25:53.000 It's not even gay.
00:25:54.000 Like, for example, the reason we can't show the show is that Ryan has no friends.
00:26:01.000 Well, that's not true.
00:26:02.000 Yes it is.
00:26:04.000 Well if I had You're right.
00:26:06.000 Well, I have friends, but none...
00:26:11.000 None of that are in close enough prox none that are in close enough proximity to help a brother out.
00:26:18.000 I have a thousand friends.
00:26:20.000 First of all, I'm the most hated man in my community.
00:26:23.000 Because I'm a mega guy in a liberal enclave.
00:26:27.000 Yet I have at least 20 friends that would eat a bullet for me.
00:26:33.000 Okay, maybe I'll eat zero. 0.99
00:26:35.000 I would eat a bullet for you. 0.99
00:26:37.000 A chocolate bullet. 1.00
00:26:38.000 Just like drink it?
00:26:39.000 Yeah, like a pill.
00:26:41.000 I got a million friends.
00:26:42.000 You have no friends.
00:26:43.000 I got a lot of friends.
00:26:44.000 No, you don't.
00:26:45.000 Sure I do.
00:26:46.000 No, you don't.
00:26:46.000 You play.
00:26:47.000 You guys are my friends.
00:26:48.000 You play solitaire, and these guys live at the other end of the world.
00:26:54.000 And it's detrimental to our heritage.
00:26:56.000 We can't fix these shows.
00:26:58.000 We have Tuesday's show and Thursday's show.
00:27:04.000 And we can't.
00:27:04.000 Oh, Jesus.
00:27:05.000 What?
00:27:06.000 There's just a lot of people.
00:27:07.000 I'm trying to stretch.
00:27:08.000 I don't think stretching is an important part of.
00:27:11.000 Please don't get that close.
00:27:13.000 What are you talking about?
00:27:14.000 My back is all stiff.
00:27:15.000 I'm trying to relax.
00:27:17.000 This is hell.
00:27:18.000 This is me being comfortable.
00:27:19.000 Thank you, God.
00:27:21.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00
00:27:21.000 Let's go fuck it. 1.00
00:27:23.000 Get the jets going. 1.00
00:27:25.000 I've got cold.
00:27:28.000 Get the jets up for cold though.
00:27:30.000 How about an outgoing one to the police department?
00:27:35.000 How about a 911?
00:27:38.000 Sir, are you fixing your job?
00:27:40.000 Is there a suicide hotline available?
00:27:43.000 Oh, my leg is so smushed.
00:27:48.000 So there's a bunch of things that we're looking forward to.
00:27:51.000 This Thursday you have the How to Be a Dad special, which is, I'm hyping up the show.
00:28:00.000 It's really good.
00:28:00.000 Maybe you should get some friends.
00:28:02.000 Sure.
00:28:03.000 I guess that'll help. 1.00
00:28:06.000 You can't get pussy if you don't have male friends. 1.00
00:28:09.000 I got male friends. 1.00
00:28:10.000 You gotta be gregarious.
00:28:12.000 All your friends are back at your grandma's.
00:28:14.000 Everybody thinks I need so much help getting laid. 0.52
00:28:16.000 It's like, I'm loving my life.
00:28:18.000 I'm living, laughing, loving. 1.00
00:28:20.000 Shut up. 0.99
00:28:21.000 No. 1.00
00:28:22.000 You need, like, you play solitaire.
00:28:24.000 You need to have male friends in your community, in your new house.
00:28:28.000 Hmm.
00:28:30.000 You know what?
00:28:31.000 I just made a walkie-talkie.
00:28:32.000 I was like, John Asian Trump. 0.59
00:28:33.000 That's what I'm saying.
00:28:34.000 Now we're walking an amazing dude.
00:28:36.000 We're walkie-talkie friends.
00:28:37.000 Here, look, I can walk you talk to him right now.
00:28:39.000 Did we, can we say that we golfed?
00:28:42.000 Yeah.
00:28:43.000 We golfed.
00:28:45.000 And you did pretty good.
00:28:48.000 I beat you all.
00:28:50.000 So that's pretty good. 1.00
00:28:53.000 I destroyed you all. 1.00
00:28:55.000 And I fucked up a hundred times. 1.00
00:28:57.000 Anyway, let's take a call. 0.99
00:28:59.000 Okay, we got Jason is calling about Joe Biden.
00:29:03.000 I'm turning it on right.
00:29:10.000 Go for it.
00:29:11.000 Hey, what's up, guys?
00:29:12.000 Hey, man.
00:29:14.000 Just what's up, guys?
00:29:16.000 Nice look.
00:29:18.000 Just calling upon Joe Biden.
00:29:20.000 I know like you said, it's literally getting to the point where it's almost not fun anymore.
00:29:27.000 But did you possibly catch where he was being interviewed by MSNB and ACNN that they're all the same?
00:29:34.000 And the guy asked him about, you know, have you had a cognition test?
00:29:41.000 And Joe Biden said, you know, asked the guy, oh, well, have you had a cocaine test before you come on there?
00:29:49.000 And just even the way he was talking about it legitimately sounded crazy.
00:29:54.000 And I guess he doesn't see it.
00:29:59.000 You know, and I guess he's not going to come out and say that, oh yeah, I'm going crazy or I've got dementia.
00:30:08.000 What do you think on that?
00:30:09.000 Well, that was seen as racist, but I think you're giving Joe Biden too much credit to call it racist.
00:30:16.000 Because, like the idea that blacks do cocaine, whatever, I don't think that went through Joe Biden's brain.
00:30:24.000 I think he was like, that's like me asking you if you did, and then he thought of a drug that people do, and cocaine came into his head.
00:30:34.000 You gotta think of Joe Biden as a nine-year-old.
00:30:38.000 And a nine-year-old, if they were questioned, they would go, oh yeah, you want to question me?
00:30:42.000 How about I question you?
00:30:43.000 How about I question if you did cocaine or not? 0.99
00:30:46.000 So that became a racial thing, but it's actually a great example of how fucking lost he is. 0.97
00:30:53.000 And the real question is, can we make fun of him for four years if he wins? 0.97
00:31:00.000 Like, it's going to become quirky.
00:31:03.000 It's going to become making fun of a Down syndrome guy. 0.58
00:31:08.000 I'm pissing right now, man. 0.69
00:31:09.000 Certainly.
00:31:10.000 Oh, good God.
00:31:11.000 It's going to be bad.
00:31:12.000 And he's going to be a puppet, clearly, of whoever his VP is. 1.00
00:31:17.000 Yeah, he's a loser. 1.00
00:31:18.000 I was just kidding. 1.00
00:31:20.000 Oh, really?
00:31:21.000 All right, next, Colin.
00:31:21.000 Okay, good.
00:31:22.000 Thank you, guys.
00:31:23.000 Thanks.
00:31:24.000 Oh, that was you.
00:31:25.000 Okay, it's John calling about Crocs.
00:31:29.000 Hey, what's up, guys?
00:31:32.000 That looks like the baggiest zone I think I've ever seen.
00:31:35.000 We're so confident in our heterosexuality that we...
00:31:44.000 What do you have, like, underwear?
00:31:45.000 Yep.
00:31:47.000 Yeah, we're not gay at all.
00:31:49.000 No, thank you.
00:31:50.000 No way.
00:31:53.000 It might be a little bit more convincing if you were wearing socks, but yeah.
00:31:58.000 Okay.
00:31:59.000 Well, anyway, I just took a differential equations exam, and boy, are my couchies Euler.
00:32:06.000 Wow.
00:32:07.000 That's a nerd joke from the engineer.
00:32:09.000 So can you text me that?
00:32:13.000 And boy, are my couchies jewelered? 0.97
00:32:18.000 Can you email that to gavin at censored.tv?
00:32:25.000 No, I didn't email anything.
00:32:27.000 No, can you email that to gavin at censored.tv?
00:32:32.000 Oh, oh, okay, yeah, I get you.
00:32:34.000 Yeah, because I well, my uh my comment was about proc, and uh, I think you got it totally right if you're living in New York.
00:32:45.000 Uh I was living in Florida and the guy only judges something as being usable if it had a purpose to it.
00:32:59.000 And when you're in New York, you crocs don't really have a use up there for too long.
00:33:05.000 But if you're living in Florida where it's 90 degrees and above in March, then you got a lot more uses out of it, especially because it's not shape.
00:33:16.000 Why are Crocs better in a hot climate?
00:33:23.000 Why are Crocs better? 0.98
00:33:24.000 Well, they're better in a hot climate because my feet get fucking sweaty. 0.64
00:33:30.000 And you're always talking about sweaty legs, that's why I wear shorts, which you probably don't agree with. 0.75
00:33:35.000 Yeah, but so you still have sweaty feet with a pair of crocs.
00:33:43.000 Your whole body, lower half, is just sweaty all the time.
00:33:48.000 So you have to be as loose-fit as possible.
00:33:50.000 Also, the whole of Florida is basically a swamp. 0.99
00:33:54.000 So you're always walking through like mud or some other shit. 0.96
00:33:59.000 Like, you want to be able to clean your shoes easily. 1.00
00:34:01.000 And it's just made of rubber, so you can just fucking put it in a bathtub, like the one that you're in, and you just wash them up right next to your dick. 0.99
00:34:10.000 I'll tell you what, dude, I will live in Florida for one year. 1.00
00:34:13.000 I'll do all your bullshit with washing Crocs. 1.00
00:34:16.000 If Chucks are not less inconvenient, you're a fucking dead man. 1.00
00:34:24.000 Oh, my God. 1.00
00:34:26.000 All right.
00:34:28.000 I will agree to that.
00:34:29.000 Okay, I need your address.
00:34:32.000 It is address.
00:34:33.000 I agree 100%.
00:34:36.000 In upstate New York, where my Crocs are most useful, he's right.
00:34:41.000 Upstate New York where my Crocs are most useful.
00:34:44.000 That's right.
00:34:44.000 That's a t-shirt.
00:34:48.000 Can we get a hot tub?
00:34:49.000 Our store is back up, right?
00:34:51.000 Is our store back up?
00:34:53.000 Our store is back up, by the way.
00:34:54.000 That's a big thing.
00:34:57.000 Thanks for calling.
00:35:00.000 Get some more sets going.
00:35:03.000 Alright, want another?
00:35:06.000 Sure.
00:35:07.000 Right?
00:35:09.000 You know how pissed my wife is? 1.00
00:35:11.000 She's raising three kids with a generator that's going outside all day.
00:35:17.000 It lasts for four hours.
00:35:19.000 You have to replenish it with gas.
00:35:19.000 Oh, my.
00:35:21.000 Women don't get gas cans. 1.00
00:35:23.000 I barely get gas cans. 1.00
00:35:24.000 You have to, like, take off a red thing, peel back the foreskin, pour it down, and then lift up a 50-pound fucking gas can. 0.99
00:35:34.000 You know, she's mad. 1.00
00:35:36.000 And she's like, you need to come back now.
00:35:38.000 And I go, I am in a business meeting with Ryan.
00:35:44.000 We're doing our year-end review with the net and the gross and playing golf and gambling.
00:35:51.000 I can't come back.
00:35:54.000 You know what's weird about gas canisters?
00:35:54.000 That's true.
00:35:56.000 That's true.
00:35:57.000 That's true.
00:35:58.000 With gas canisters, it's like how baby-proof bottles for pills are baby-proof.
00:36:05.000 Gasoline's like woman-proof. 1.00
00:36:06.000 Dude, Gannister.
00:36:07.000 No, no, canisters are.
00:36:09.000 Gannisters are. 0.99
00:36:11.000 I can't figure them out. 1.00
00:36:12.000 What I do now, I just rip out the red thing, and then I pull my thumb down on that fucking dumb foreskin, and it's still. 1.00
00:36:19.000 It's a major. 0.99
00:36:20.000 You get gas everywhere.
00:36:22.000 Yeah.
00:36:23.000 I haven't figured it out yet.
00:36:24.000 I was pretending I knew, but I don't.
00:36:25.000 You don't.
00:36:26.000 You don't ever.
00:36:27.000 I've touched the gas can.
00:36:29.000 Alright, next call.
00:36:30.000 We've got another one. 0.99
00:36:31.000 Curtis, Nick, Bae, and I want Brian to take his pants off and show us his ass, and I'll donate to the charity. 0.99
00:36:37.000 How much? 0.99
00:36:38.000 Well, let's ask.
00:36:39.000 He's coming on right now.
00:36:41.000 All right, you're on.
00:36:43.000 Hey, how are you guys doing?
00:36:45.000 Great.
00:36:46.000 Pretty good. 0.97
00:36:48.000 So, since you guys don't have OnlyFans, I'm thinking, I got some money burning in my pocket, and I'm wondering if I can pay you guys to do some hot shit together. 0.97
00:36:56.000 Not together. 1.00
00:36:57.000 Yeah, we'll fuck each other dry. 1.00
00:36:58.000 Nope. 1.00
00:36:59.000 Definitely not.
00:37:00.000 That's for charity.
00:37:02.000 I don't have a lot of money, but I got 50 bucks for Ryan to take his shorts off, spend the rest of the time there cuff naked. 0.99
00:37:09.000 $100 to see that little Japanese cock. 1.00
00:37:12.000 And $150 if Gavin can just shove a little bit of his pinky thing. 0.99
00:37:18.000 Absolutely not.
00:37:19.000 None.
00:37:19.000 No, we don't.
00:37:20.000 No, we don't negotiate.
00:37:21.000 Let's get started.
00:37:22.000 I got the buns.
00:37:24.000 Get the pinky away from my... 1.00
00:37:28.000 Are we seeing buns?
00:37:30.000 Is everybody happy? 1.00
00:37:31.000 I know you have a tattoo in your ass. 1.00
00:37:32.000 Yeah, I do. 1.00
00:37:33.000 What is that?
00:37:33.000 It's a smiley face.
00:37:38.000 Yeah, not happening, dude.
00:37:40.000 We can't really hear you, but do we got a deal?
00:37:42.000 Is that a female? 1.00
00:37:43.000 Yeah, we got a deal.
00:37:44.000 Is it a female or a queer? 1.00
00:37:46.000 It's a funny.
00:37:46.000 Alright, how much money am I sending you?
00:37:48.000 What are you guys going to do for us?
00:37:50.000 We saw $150.
00:37:52.000 We did everything you asked for.
00:37:53.000 Great point.
00:37:55.000 Alright, do you figure Lynn Daddy holders $150 with Justice Leader?
00:37:59.000 I did.
00:37:59.000 I did.
00:38:00.000 We just showed it on the show.
00:38:01.000 It hurts.
00:38:02.000 I don't like it.
00:38:03.000 Oh, wow.
00:38:04.000 Oh, I gotta watch my pinky.
00:38:06.000 I got a bit of a delay here.
00:38:08.000 And he's like, all right, I'm a man of my word.
00:38:10.000 I'm gonna donate.
00:38:11.000 Good work.
00:38:12.000 Thank you, sir.
00:38:13.000 Thanks for calling. 0.96
00:38:14.000 You damn much. 1.00
00:38:14.000 You damn fucking pussy. 1.00
00:38:16.000 Come on. 1.00
00:38:17.000 It's for justice, for liberty.
00:38:19.000 It's my cheeks. 1.00
00:38:21.000 What a fucking demonstration. 1.00
00:38:23.000 You alt-right weirdo. 1.00
00:38:25.000 This is a family show.
00:38:26.000 You know what's going on with my cameos?
00:38:30.000 I have all these Jewish recommendations saying, say that you love Israel and blah, blah, blah. 0.94
00:38:39.000 And I do, but I have a feeling about half of them are real Israelis and the other half are these traffic were trying to like frame me and go you just said you love Israel.
00:38:51.000 Right, right, right.
00:38:52.000 Yeah, I do.
00:38:53.000 Okay.
00:38:53.000 Yeah.
00:38:54.000 I saw through a couple of those where I was like...
00:38:58.000 What do you mean a couple?
00:39:01.000 They're some of them public.
00:39:03.000 Oh, you see them after they get public?
00:39:05.000 and I'm thinking I'm like is this someone just trying to Okay.
00:39:14.000 Welcome back to the show where a 50-year-old man sits in a bathtub with a 30-year-old Asian. 0.99
00:39:21.000 31.
00:39:23.000 And I donated to charity, basically.
00:39:28.000 I'm willing to put myself in line. 0.89
00:39:30.000 Sure, it's silly.
00:39:31.000 Might ruin my career. 0.72
00:39:33.000 Your career.
00:39:34.000 That's kind of funny.
00:39:35.000 And, you know, my dignity has been chipped away at it a little bit because I've revealed myself.
00:39:40.000 I've exposed myself.
00:39:41.000 But it's revealed yourself. 0.99
00:39:44.000 My anus. 1.00
00:39:45.000 Oh, you showed your anus. 1.00
00:39:46.000 That's correct. 0.99
00:39:50.000 You spread your butt cheeks. 1.00
00:39:52.000 You spread.
00:39:53.000 I did not know that.
00:39:54.000 I was right here.
00:39:55.000 I figured we'd get another 10 spot.
00:39:56.000 I was right here and I did not see the spreading. 0.97
00:39:58.000 Well, I don't think you were looking because that'd be gay. 1.00
00:40:01.000 Queen. 0.91
00:40:03.000 Alright, I think we should wrap this up, guys. 0.99
00:40:05.000 This is absolutely fucking ridiculous. 0.99
00:40:10.000 Let's do two more calls. 0.99
00:40:13.000 And also, sponsors?
00:40:16.000 Express VPN.
00:40:18.000 Promo code Gavin.
00:40:20.000 Aren't you tired of getting all of your activity tracked online?
00:40:24.000 That's a bummer.
00:40:26.000 Well, with ExpressVPN, it's so easy.
00:40:28.000 All you do is as soon as you open up your computer, it starts on startup.
00:40:32.000 It's logged in.
00:40:33.000 You just click connect me.
00:40:35.000 And now it just scrambles everything you're doing.
00:40:37.000 So you're not going to get in trouble.
00:40:39.000 You're not going to be shamed for being free on the internet. 0.98
00:40:42.000 Freedom exists not only in the real world with your voice and with Twitter and all this stuff, but what you do when nobody's looking, when you're looking up, hey, what's this word on my butthole?
00:40:51.000 Express VPN is going to be. 0.97
00:40:52.000 What's this word on my butthole? 0.99
00:40:54.000 Wart. 0.99
00:40:54.000 Wart, okay. 0.99
00:40:56.000 And they'll hide all that for you because, you know, you deserve freedom and privacy just like everybody else does.
00:41:01.000 What was this thing if you put on Google what we is?
00:41:05.000 What was that again?
00:41:06.000 It's a racist acknowledgement of a trend that happens on the Google search where if you type in is we in space.
00:41:15.000 If you type in is we in space, one of the questions that comes up is getting more checks.
00:41:23.000 Getting more stimulus.
00:41:24.000 Is we getting more stimulus checks?
00:41:27.000 And I think that's an abominable racist. 0.71
00:41:31.000 That's a racist AI. 0.81
00:41:32.000 Algorithm, yeah.
00:41:33.000 That's an R AI. 0.99
00:41:35.000 Can you give us a blast of the old fucking jets? 1.00
00:41:38.000 We have a racist AI. 1.00
00:41:40.000 There's a U at the end of this table.
00:41:42.000 I think.
00:41:46.000 He's fantastic.
00:41:47.000 Frankly.
00:41:48.000 Great guy.
00:41:49.000 Great guy.
00:41:50.000 We like him.
00:41:51.000 I offered AI, I offered a Kangaroo Jack $800 a video.
00:41:56.000 He's like, I'd rather take a commission.
00:41:59.000 And I go, okay, that's crazy.
00:42:01.000 That's actually better for me. 0.99
00:42:03.000 And then he brought in like fucking, what, 3,000 subs? 0.99
00:42:06.000 Yeah. 0.99
00:42:07.000 So he gets 40 grand.
00:42:10.000 And I went, can we go back to my original?
00:42:15.000 Why is he?
00:42:16.000 Can we go back to Pizza Pie?
00:42:18.000 Why is he trying to get commands?
00:42:21.000 Why is he still talking about it?
00:42:22.000 He must like bacon.
00:42:23.000 And he doesn't like bleeps.
00:42:27.000 Why is he still talking about bleeps?
00:42:30.000 Alright, next call.
00:42:32.000 Alright.
00:42:32.000 Hey, it's Nick.
00:42:33.000 I have a good willing or would you rather for Gavin?
00:42:36.000 He is on right now.
00:42:41.000 Hey, what's up, boys?
00:42:42.000 How's it going?
00:42:43.000 Hello.
00:42:43.000 Hey, man.
00:42:45.000 Hey, I just want to say amazing with another guy who's gay. 0.96
00:42:48.000 What the hell are we doing here, first of all? 0.99
00:42:50.000 Is that gay? 1.00
00:42:52.000 This is my penis right now. 1.00
00:42:54.000 I do not have a mother. 1.00
00:42:56.000 Yeah, this is a gay test. 0.98
00:42:57.000 If we were gay, you'd see this submerged. 0.98
00:43:00.000 Yeah. 0.98
00:43:00.000 Like Godzilla coming out of the water. 0.98
00:43:01.000 This is like when men go to the bathhouse or a locker room. 0.71
00:43:06.000 You know how much what you would consider homosexual happens in sports locker rooms? 0.58
00:43:11.000 That's what they call them, sports locker rooms. 1.00
00:43:14.000 The ass slap. 0.99
00:43:15.000 Anyway, what's your question? 0.99
00:43:17.000 Okay, so my would-you-rather question is this.
00:43:20.000 Okay, would you rather get a massage from a man, or would you rather get surgery from a female doctor? 1.00
00:43:28.000 That's pretty good.
00:43:31.000 Well, surgery is obviously a big topic. 0.99
00:43:34.000 Like eye surgery, you're having like part of your fucking spine replaced. 0.99
00:43:42.000 So we don't know. 0.99
00:43:44.000 So that's tough.
00:43:45.000 But, uh...
00:43:50.000 I haven't had a massage by a guy.
00:43:52.000 It's not that bad.
00:43:53.000 I hate massages.
00:43:56.000 I like them. 0.99
00:43:57.000 But I don't trust women. 1.00
00:43:58.000 But I think most good surgeons are autistic. 0.99
00:44:01.000 And autistic people aren't human. 1.00
00:44:04.000 So they can be a woman, a man, a black. 0.91
00:44:07.000 It doesn't matter. 0.88
00:44:08.000 They're just like they're robots.
00:44:10.000 True.
00:44:11.000 And I assume if a woman gets to the point where she can be doing surgeries, she's probably not like a normal woman. 1.00
00:44:20.000 It's like an airplane pilot. 0.99
00:44:24.000 You can't be a shitty airplane pilot, right? 1.00
00:44:26.000 Everyone's going to die. 1.00
00:44:28.000 And there's no training or information a man could get as a masseuse to make himself less gay. 0.98
00:44:35.000 But anyway, the problem with your riddle, sir, is that surgery is much more consequential than a massage.
00:44:42.000 And I'm obviously going to just take the male massage. 0.95
00:44:45.000 A male massage is an uncomfortable afternoon. 0.99
00:44:48.000 A fucking any surgery is, you know, it changes your life. 1.00
00:44:55.000 We could be talking about a heart transplant. 0.99
00:44:57.000 So back to the drawing board, my friend.
00:45:02.000 Thanks for calling.
00:45:03.000 Also, by the way, Kangaroo Boy is awesome.
00:45:05.000 And I just want to say that was a good hire by you.
00:45:08.000 What was that?
00:45:09.000 Kangaroo Boy is awesome.
00:45:10.000 He is.
00:45:11.000 Good hire by you.
00:45:12.000 Okay. 0.97
00:45:13.000 By the way, the best would you rather is always eat a piece of poo this big, an acorn-sized piece of poo. 0.67
00:45:24.000 You have to eat that in the morning, whatever. 0.53
00:45:26.000 Or dance every time you move.
00:45:29.000 So like say you get up at four in the morning, you go pee, you have to dance there.
00:45:33.000 And then the beauty of that ultimatum is you could increase the time you have to dance.
00:45:38.000 It could be two years. 1.00
00:45:39.000 And you can increase the piece of shit you have to eat. 1.00
00:45:42.000 It can be an acorn, it could be a gobstopper. 1.00
00:45:45.000 Right.
00:45:46.000 It does change things.
00:45:47.000 Yeah.
00:45:48.000 I'm not comfortable enough to answer that question, but it's in my mind still.
00:45:52.000 Like, I want to get to the part of my life where I know the answer to that, but I don't yet.
00:45:58.000 It's a lot of commitment. 0.97
00:46:01.000 What the fuck that means or what he just said. 0.99
00:46:04.000 Okay, let's do one more call. 0.99
00:46:05.000 I couldn't answer that question.
00:46:07.000 Not yet.
00:46:10.000 The poo or the dancing.
00:46:12.000 This is Daniel.
00:46:12.000 Well, okay, first of all, I'm not.
00:46:14.000 Let's say it's a poo this big and dancing for a year. 0.90
00:46:19.000 Right. 1.00
00:46:20.000 The beauty of the poo this big is you mix it in with eggs and shit, you just eat it. 1.00
00:46:24.000 You swallow it like a pill. 1.00
00:46:25.000 Do you have to chew it?
00:46:26.000 You just swallow it like a pill.
00:46:28.000 It goes in the eggs.
00:46:29.000 Okay.
00:46:29.000 And that's for life?
00:46:30.000 Dancing takes up your whole life. 1.00
00:46:32.000 So I would just do the little shit. 1.00
00:46:34.000 But is that for life, the shit? 1.00
00:46:36.000 No, it's one year. 1.00
00:46:37.000 Oh.
00:46:37.000 But the beauty is you can manipulate it and you go, okay, what about a cheesy, right?
00:46:42.000 Okay.
00:46:42.000 And you also need a doctor to make sure you don't die of sepsis.
00:46:47.000 Because it would almost end that way being the shit until it's that big. 0.99
00:46:52.000 That's what I'm tapping out. 0.99
00:46:55.000 Okay, we got Daniel on here.
00:46:58.000 Alright, Danny.
00:47:00.000 Don? 0.99
00:47:01.000 Hey, you guys upgraded from the fag zone to fag palace. 1.00
00:47:06.000 Yes. 0.98
00:47:07.000 If there was a fag zone, I suppose this would be an upgrade. 1.00
00:47:12.000 Dramatic. 0.94
00:47:13.000 Also, Ryan's cross tattoo looks like it was placed by a game of pin to tail on the donkey.
00:47:20.000 How dare you?
00:47:20.000 It's cantoned for a reason.
00:47:22.000 For aesthetic value.
00:47:24.000 Ryan has his dead friend on his arm who died of an opioid overdose.
00:47:29.000 So it's a really depressing, sad tattoo with reading glasses on it.
00:47:33.000 It's a beautiful tattoo.
00:47:36.000 It makes you want to cry.
00:47:37.000 No!
00:47:38.000 Way to go.
00:47:39.000 He was a badass and a legend. 0.99
00:47:41.000 And by the way, when Ryan is 62, he's going to have a fucking dead friend on his arm that he wouldn't even remember. 0.97
00:47:48.000 You know, the one problem that I do see what you're saying is that I won't be 190 with this tattoo on my arm. 0.98
00:47:55.000 That's the only thing.
00:47:56.000 There's not enough time in my life to honor the man.
00:47:59.000 He was a legend.
00:48:01.000 You know another problem?
00:48:03.000 I just pissed.
00:48:05.000 That is a problem.
00:48:06.000 I agree with you.
00:48:10.000 All right, question.
00:48:11.000 Come on, okay, yeah.
00:48:15.000 I recently had some people trying to cancel me. 0.98
00:48:18.000 I responded to a girlfriend of mine DM on Instagram to doing her story, and we had a long conversation about all this racist shit going on, and she had no argument. 0.96
00:48:32.000 I didn't say anything racist. 0.96
00:48:34.000 And by the end of it, she blocked me and then screenshotted everything and then posted it all to her story.
00:48:43.000 And then I got a text from a friend of mine saying that she did that.
00:48:48.000 And so now these people are trying to cancel me.
00:48:51.000 And, you know, this is a person who I thought was a good friend of mine.
00:48:55.000 And, you know, we were having a private conversation.
00:48:59.000 And she just posted it to her whole story. 0.94
00:49:02.000 And then all these other bitches are screen capping it and selecting all these different sections, telling people to call me out. 1.00
00:49:10.000 And the thing is this, is they tagged me in it, but they have me blocked or muted. 0.89
00:49:15.000 So I don't get notified about them trying to call me out. 0.97
00:49:24.000 So they're just cowards. 0.95
00:49:28.000 Where do you live? 0.99
00:49:31.000 Atlanta. 1.00
00:49:33.000 What a fucking mess. 1.00
00:49:36.000 Well, I think it's pretty gay. 1.00
00:49:41.000 And the thing is, it's like, it's kind of making some, you know, because I'm a musician and an artist, and so I have a lot of liberal friends.
00:49:47.000 And I'm trying to slowly red till them. 0.99
00:49:50.000 And I can't tell them, you know, I listen to you because they're fucking, you know, think you're a Nazi. 0.98
00:49:56.000 But it's starting to make them kind of question what's going on here. 1.00
00:50:04.000 And I think that people are starting to get tired of this shit. 0.99
00:50:08.000 You know, I live right by the Wendy's that got burned down in Atlanta, the Rayshard Brooks Peace Center. 1.00
00:50:15.000 And over 4th of July, this little eight-year-old girl, Secoria Turner, was murdered by peaceful protesters with gun for nothing, and no one gave a shit. 0.98
00:50:26.000 No one burned out anything for her. 0.95
00:50:29.000 And then Keisha Lance Bottoms, the mayor, gets COVID the next day, puts a mask mandate that we haven't had this whole time because people were, the heat was turning onto her about letting this happen. 1.00
00:50:43.000 And then that causes a spur from the governor, which sweeps little Secoria Turner out of the news.
00:50:50.000 And I was talking to my friend.
00:50:51.000 Oh, I asked them how many unarmed black people were killed last year.
00:50:57.000 None of them know the answer.
00:50:59.000 And one of my buddies, so then I asked them, how many people do you think they killed?
00:51:04.000 One of my buddies said 40,000.
00:51:08.000 He thought they killed 40,000 unarmed black men last year. 0.53
00:51:12.000 And so, yeah, you know, by basically saying stuff like, no, we all have the same rights that black people disproportionately commit more crime and the, you know, percentages of the population and all this. 0.97
00:51:25.000 And I'm not trying to like say, haha, they're terrible, but let's try and, you know, get to the problem.
00:51:30.000 75% fatherless homes instead of single motherhead with welfare.
00:51:35.000 And that's just racism to them.
00:51:37.000 Well, I think what we all have to know in this day and age is that when you're texting someone or DMing someone, no matter how private it is, even Telegram and Signal, it could end up on Facebook.
00:51:52.000 It could end up publicized.
00:51:53.000 So always understand that nothing's private anymore.
00:51:59.000 Even the face-to-face conversation is not private anymore.
00:52:03.000 Nothing is sacred.
00:52:05.000 But at the same time, you didn't do anything wrong.
00:52:09.000 You pointed out a bunch of facts.
00:52:11.000 So go ahead and find me.
00:52:15.000 And I feel good about that.
00:52:17.000 I've tried to stay, I don't post anything political, nothing like that. 0.96
00:52:21.000 And I see all this ridiculous shit constantly because I'm just doing my music thing and my art thing. 0.96
00:52:26.000 And so I stay out of it. 0.99
00:52:29.000 And I never thought she would do this to me because we were really close.
00:52:34.000 And then, so, yeah, I never post anything.
00:52:38.000 And I had a private conversation and she just put it out there.
00:52:42.000 So, I mean, you're right.
00:52:43.000 I was really blown away and shocked.
00:52:46.000 And, you know, but I do feel good that I didn't say anything racist or in like they just hate the truth, you know?
00:52:57.000 And she'll hate herself forever.
00:52:59.000 And you won't. 1.00
00:53:00.000 And if you had capitulated to her, you would feel like shit for years. 0.99
00:53:06.000 So, you know, we just have to be honest and call people out. 0.99
00:53:10.000 And then when they stab us in the back, go, goodbye.
00:53:14.000 I'll never speak to you again.
00:53:15.000 Unless they're your sister or brother. 0.52
00:53:19.000 And then end the relationship.
00:53:23.000 Alright, we gotta go.
00:53:24.000 I'm not even necessarily that mad.
00:53:26.000 It's just kind of like, when are we gonna get over this stuff?
00:53:29.000 You know, because these are a lot of generally nice people that, like you say, have been active.
00:53:35.000 Yeah, it's fashion.
00:53:36.000 It's all fashion and sports.