GOML LIVE #82 | INAUGURATED (Part 1)
Episode Stats
Words per minute
139.04347
Harmful content
Misogyny
6
sentences flagged
Hate speech
13
sentences flagged
Summary
Gavin McInnes talks about the Inauguration, the Confederacy of Dunces, and books that make him laugh out loud. Also, he wants to get a tattoo on his forehead, but he's not sure if that's a good thing or not good at all. And he thinks he should get a "boner" tattoo, but is that a bad thing to have tattooed on your forehead? Also, a new segment called "Get Off My Lawn," where he talks about his favorite books to laugh at, and why he doesn't like the idea of a giant woman with a tit in her chest being a giant man. This episode was recorded in Brooklyn, New York, and edited by Alex Blumberg. It was mixed by Annie-Rose Strasser and mixed by Matthew Boll. It was edited by Patrick Muldowney. Music by Ian Dorsch and Mark Phillips. Art: Mackenzie Moore Music: Hayden Coplen Editor: Will Witwer Editing: Matthew Boll Mixing: Ian McKellen Cover art by Jeff Perla Art Direction: Patrick McElroy Logo by Ian McKirdy Theme Song: Jeffree Starretta Additional Compositions by Willy Wonka and Matt Newell and Matt Knost Thank you to David Sedaris and the late great John Kennedy O'Toole for the cover art by Matthew McElle on this episode's music was done by Mark Phillips If you liked this episode, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and we'll be listening to it in the next week's episode on SoundCloud Subscribe to our new music on Apple Music and other places on this podcast, and share it on Podcharts if you're looking for a good song with us on the podcast, we'll have it on the next episode of this podcast and other cool stuff we're listening to us on your favorite streaming platform, we're going to send us out on the airwaves next week, and we're giving us a shoutout on the road, too good vibes and more! Thanks for listening to this episode of Off My oldies and other stuff like this and more, and more of your feedback on this and other things that you're getting a chance to review it on this, too much of that, too cool things like that, good vibing and more.
Transcript
00:00:14.000
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
00:00:21.000
You can have me, if you want me All I need is a little shrimp money I need a place for all this shit in my closet I need a place to put all my electronics, ain't nice
00:00:44.000
But you got a nice face Hope I can fit all my shit in some place Got a collection of interest calculators If you don't like it, well babe, I'll see you later, ain't ya?
00:01:21.000
We had a 22-year-old black girl talking to us like she's Jesus Christ.
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And a bunch of other platitudes from all sides.
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The thing a guy wrote for someone on a teleprompter?
00:01:42.000
I like interviews where they're off the cuff, but... Speeches are for creatures.
00:02:01.000
Those were the Viagra Boys from Stockholm.
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I should probably have a tattoo on my forehead at this point.
00:02:14.000
Like, I'm that level of weird as far as the way I'm perceived.
00:02:31.000
Boners, yeah, that's my favorite thing, boners.
00:02:46.000
Yeah, made in England seems like a good idea.
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00:02:54.000
Today's book, of course, is not exactly very creative.
00:02:57.000
I kind of forgot that we had to have a book, so I just grabbed this.
00:03:00.000
Confederacy of Dunces, the best-selling Pulitzer Prize winning classic by John Kennedy O'Toole.
00:03:08.000
They've been talking about making a movie of this forever.
00:03:10.000
Jack Black was going to be the guy, but it never really got off the ground.
00:03:21.000
Um, I was talking to my daughter today about laughing out loud in books, and I think I could name maybe three times.
00:03:37.000
And, uh, he has, he works at some dumb factory, and then they start, they want to lower the salary or something.
00:03:45.000
He's only been there for a minute, but he has a strike.
00:03:47.000
And so he makes these big banners, like, Strike!
00:03:54.000
But they're on his bedsheets, and people who are holding them can recognize jizz stains on the sheets.
00:04:01.000
And I must have been like 15 years old on a bus in Kanata, Ontario, and I laughed out loud at that.
00:04:10.000
I also laughed out loud in Naked by David Sedaris, where you're reading it, you know he's incredibly gay, but of course that's not evident in a book as far as the lisp and the accent goes, right?
00:04:27.000
But in the book, he's hitchhiking and he gets picked up by some fucking weirdo who tries to rape him, I believe.
00:04:35.000
Like puts his hand on his leg and tries to tongue him and stuff.
00:04:38.000
So he jumps out of a moving car and lands in a ditch.
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And then he runs up to these frat boys and he's like, oh my God, you're not gonna believe what just happened.
00:04:43.000
I was just in this car and this guy almost killed me.
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And as he does his diatribe, they go, are you perchance a fag?
00:04:57.000
And you're reading it like this is the first time it's been conceded that David Sedaris talks with a lisp as the author.
00:05:14.000
But it's very, very rare to laugh out loud at a book.
00:05:28.000
And they're all sexual, by the way, these things that make me laugh out loud.
00:05:31.000
And he goes, I must concede, nothing disgusted me more than the size of her monstrous breast.
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00:05:39.000
And the idea of like a one inch tall man looking at a giant tit and being disgusted by it, it made me laugh my ass off.
00:05:49.000
So those are the only three times I can remember laughing out loud reading a book.
00:06:06.000
Today was a big day, but before we get into any of that, we've got to hear a word from our sponsors, right?
00:06:14.000
Let's start with good old faithful Bubba and Hank's.
00:06:58.000
Bubba has several Bs, including a double B after the first B. B-U-B-B-A and H-A-N-K-S.com.
00:07:07.000
Say the website and promo code with, sorry, the website is BubbaAndHanks.com.
00:07:17.000
This hat, by the way, is a Glaswegian Tam, big in Glasgow, not considered remotely eccentric in Glasgow or Canada.
00:07:27.000
Like, if you wear this, you know, to a party or something, it's just like you wore a baseball hat.
00:07:35.000
In America, however, I've been getting some stares.
00:07:44.000
Like, have you seen a cowboy hat even in New York City?
00:07:49.000
But down there, it's like, they look cool here.
00:07:54.000
I was considering jumping on air at noon today and doing it live, but I watched a bit of it and I was like... I mean, it's exactly what you'd expect, right?
00:08:09.000
I will say we have officially taken down Election Gate off the site.
00:08:39.000
And every time I say something like this, the guy will go, oh yeah, I had to take care of this and take care of that.
00:08:44.000
And then he'll fix the problem in one millisecond.
00:08:53.000
So yeah, the inauguration- Oh, these explosions are bullshit!
00:08:57.000
was what it was Trump did his farewell speech which was benign and dull and then what Amy Klobuchar came up she's an incompetent bureaucrat why is she in our radar um lady gaga sang a song Biden I gotta say man Biden's confusing me because his speech was obviously just reading from a teleprompter but it was
00:09:27.000
He said, let's try to focus on unity, not right versus left, not urban versus rural, blah, blah, blah, which you should say.
00:09:41.000
Because Kamala Harris may be our first black Indian
00:09:47.000
Daughter of a single mom president, vice president, but this is our first president with dementia.
00:09:59.000
If you've stuffed my ass with enough Adderall, and I get to sleep for two days before and two days after, I can do a good speech.
00:10:09.000
I heard there was a baby crying at the very beginning.
00:10:16.000
Vice President Pence and my distinguished guests, my fellow Americans.
00:10:43.000
On our new investigation on whether you and I are stupid, and I'm twice as smart as you.
00:10:55.000
I think it is a series of challenges and obstacles to overcome.
00:11:12.000
Um, but I guess, uh, it means like a new beginning according to him.
00:11:16.000
Oh, I'm thinking of in, in the Marines, the crucible is something that it's, it's what I'd said.
00:11:33.000
A container of metal or refractory material employed for heating substances to high temperatures.
00:11:40.000
A hollow area at the bottom of a furnace in which the metal collects.
00:11:50.000
Sounds like stupid idiot moron pants Ryan beat me.
00:12:01.000
Maybe because the picture on the cover of the play is like a spherical thing, but it's not.
00:12:13.000
Oh shit dude, I'm getting really paranoid that I'm retarded.
00:12:20.000
Like I feel like someone who's around 11, and all my friends are like, check out these tits, and I go, eh.
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00:12:31.000
They're kind of like ugly dicks, but there's two of them on a broad.
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00:12:34.000
Why does her pelvis area have nothing dangling?
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00:12:52.000
No, but they have different book covers for every, like I can't find the 1984 book cover.
00:12:57.000
I don't see spheres, maybe... I see a lot of nooses.
00:13:08.000
Not that we're gonna glean anything from these platitudes.
00:13:18.000
The people, the will of the people, has been heard.
00:13:26.000
We've learned again that democracy is precious.
00:13:33.000
At this hour, my friends, democracy has prevailed.
00:13:43.000
This is not Vice Principal under Barack Toboggan.
00:14:03.000
So we were talking about the Trump's new army video, where they talk about how horrible the Capitol invasion was.
00:14:15.000
In fact, our boy Joe Biggs, contributor at censored.tv, has been arrested by the FBI.
00:14:25.000
But he called me last night and he's like, can you loan me some money for a lawyer?
00:14:36.000
To be clear, because this is a weird subject, I consider myself below Joe Biggs when it comes to being a man.
00:14:52.000
He has put his life on the line to die for our country because he saw what happened with 9-11.
00:14:59.000
As far as I'm concerned, that puts a man on a different plane.
00:15:16.000
They should have different rules going forward.
00:15:20.000
If you put your life on the line for your country, you're not the same as us.
00:15:23.000
You should get different treatment in the judicial system and everything.
00:15:32.000
I mean, it puts our sight in jeopardy going there.
00:15:35.000
What, you know, what if the DA tries to frame censored.tv as some sort of hub where terrorists, or gold star families, that's it.
00:15:45.000
Some sort of hub where terrorist activities are planned.
00:15:47.000
Now, of course, if you tune into my show, you'll see me saying, don't go to that rally.
00:15:53.000
Why did rallies become a thing with Proud Boys?
00:16:00.000
You know, bodyguarding, because conservatives were getting attacked.
00:16:06.000
But like, especially after the Million Mega March where the point was made, Antifa are scum, and a lot of people support Trump.
00:16:15.000
Why keep going back and getting stabbed again and again and again?
00:16:18.000
Like what's the point of going to Harry's on a monthly basis to deal with people with knives?
00:16:27.000
Anyway- They're throwing themselves into the road gladly!
00:16:33.000
I didn't want anyone to go there, and I cannot get involved.
00:16:41.000
I'll fucking die on the cross for James and Max, for John and Max, and I talk to their lawyers on a regular basis, and Zenoa, and Max himself, and I pay attention to their books, and I send them stuff, and I'm raising money for them.
00:16:58.000
But anyway, so remember there was that video about the Capitol, Trump's army, and how we're all gonna die?
00:17:07.000
And I said, this should be re-edited with better footage.
00:17:23.000
One great thing about them is that they fucking deliver.
00:17:26.000
They made all our whatchamacalls, our interstitials, our little intro cards.
00:17:31.000
And every time we talk about a video, they make a great one, and it's not half-assed.
00:17:36.000
So the first one is the worst one, and it's really good, and then I'll show you a better one.
00:17:55.000
The threat facing America today comes from within.
00:17:58.000
Radical extreme conservatives, also known as domestic terrorists.
00:18:04.000
They're hidden among us, disguised behind regular jobs.
00:18:07.000
For more than a decade, Donald Trump has spoken directly to white supremacists in their language.
00:18:14.000
And those who cause violence in its name are criminals and thugs.
00:18:36.000
We, who are monitoring extremists on the internet and reporting their findings to authorities.
00:18:40.000
Remember, before the Navy SEALs killed Osama Bin Laden, he had to be found.
00:18:44.000
He was found by a CIA analyst working on a computer thousands of miles away.
00:18:51.000
I don't know what any of that means, but it sounds fucking retarded.
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00:18:59.000
Video Podcast Network was Windy City Heat, that was what the big three were on.
00:19:07.000
And by the way, my hat yesterday that had the address was a Windy City Heat reference.
00:19:18.000
On or before January 20th, Donald Trump will no longer be the Commander-in-Chief.
00:19:22.000
He will lose control of the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Special Forces, and America's nuclear arsenal.
00:19:29.000
On January 20th, Donald Trump will become the Commander-in-Chief of a different army.
00:19:34.000
If this guy is so horrible, why didn't he do anything with his nuclear arsenal?
00:19:44.000
Why was there so little conflict if this guy is such a fucking threat?
00:19:50.000
You just showed me all the access to weaponry he had.
00:19:58.000
We blew up like an airbase in Syria, I think, one afternoon.
00:20:03.000
But now we have to be scared of housewives.
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00:20:05.000
You should have been just, like, arresting gays and building the wall with, like, Mexican bones.
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00:20:10.000
Yeah, we're actually disappointed in this lack of fascism.
00:20:21.000
The greatest threat facing America today comes from within.
00:20:24.000
Radical extreme conservatives, also known as domestic terrorists.
00:20:34.000
I got shot in the face with some kind of plastic bullet.
00:20:39.000
Shot in the face with some kind of plastic bullet?
00:20:43.000
I'll be making sure they ain't disrespecting the place.
00:20:46.000
They are hidden among us, disguised behind regular jobs.
00:20:51.000
They work at supermarkets, malls, doctor's offices, and many are police officers and soldiers.
00:20:57.000
For more than a decade, Donald Trump has spoken directly to white supremacists in their language.
00:21:10.000
Donald J. Trump is calling for a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States.
00:21:17.000
In the middle of a presidential debate, Donald Trump was asked to disavow white supremacy.
00:21:27.000
Are you willing, tonight, to condemn white supremacists and militia groups and to say that they need to stand down and not add to the violence in a number of these cities as we saw in Kenosha and as we've seen in Portland?
00:22:15.000
They wanted to, uh, talk to me about... Look at these fops.
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00:22:57.000
So I think what the other guy was just saying before there is that I said that Biden taking over for the next at least four years is going to be a huge regress to socialism.
00:23:10.000
And there's a myth when we say make America great again that we want to go back to Jim Crow.
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The Proud Boys make the white supremacist symbol.
00:23:52.000
A movement founded four years ago by Gavin McInnes.
00:24:25.000
Most major internet platforms have banned it because of calls for hate or violence.
00:24:31.000
America was founded first on Christianity and then on freedom of speech.
00:24:35.000
America was founded on Christianity and free speech.
00:24:38.000
And when we take that away, we have no America left.
00:24:42.000
Socialism, uncontrolled borders, delusional taxes and well-meaning policies.
00:24:49.000
I'm talking about the dangers of socialism to French people, which is like, that's like telling them the dangers of baguette and crème brûlée.
00:24:58.000
Impeachment is fake, he hasn't done anything wrong.
00:25:08.000
What we saw on January 6 was the invasion of the Capitol.
00:25:12.000
And I'm saying, I'm explaining that on January 6, it wasn't the beginning of an imminent boogaloo, race war, whatever.
00:25:19.000
It was just a fucking take this job and shove it, and angry employees who had been fucked over flipping their desks.
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00:25:26.000
I don't advocate flipping your desk, but I understand why you left in a rage from your job.
00:25:48.000
I'm explaining that we'll have this sort of Infowars type set, a sort of Dave Rubin sit-down set, a bar for free speech.
00:25:59.000
I'm going to have interviews with celebrities, like Ann Coulter and stuff, where we sit down, or Ron Coleman, get into Judaism.
00:26:07.000
But then I also want to, at the bar, I want to have interviews with, like, a plumber.
00:26:33.000
You know what's funny about the Joe Biggs thing is, it was on Huffington Post, it was on NBC, and they were relatively fair.
00:26:41.000
The worst one I saw was this one, 2-4, on the hill.
00:26:46.000
And it was like, Proud Boys smashed the windows with a police shield, which is just a lie.
00:26:52.000
But isn't the hill... I thought it was relatively right-wing.
00:26:57.000
Arrested Joe Biggs, HuffPo reports, hit by officials, arrested blah blah blah.
00:27:02.000
In the video, voice of the camera says, hey Biggs, what do you got to say?
00:27:05.000
Apparently, everything was broken in, like broken open when he got there, and he walked in and went piss and left.
00:27:14.000
Not the end of the world, but not something that I think is very good for anyone.
00:27:19.000
I saw there's kind of a weird civil war going on in the Proud Boys right now.
00:27:27.000
That it's like an anti-rally thing, where like, stop going to rallies and being retards and like, rebrand the aesthetic of it.
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00:27:36.000
Or the, like, you know, don't associate with the people that go out and
00:27:41.000
Well it was a secret club before, before we got into security, before they got into security.
00:27:50.000
Like Barney Rubble's wife, Betty I believe, she didn't really know about the water buffaloes.
00:27:57.000
You know, she didn't read about the Water Buffaloes.
00:28:01.000
Your wife doesn't know about the Knights of Columbus.
00:28:03.000
My wife has no idea what I do at Knights of Columbus meetings.
00:28:09.000
The loudest wheels get the grease, is basically what happens.
00:28:14.000
Like, what are we, hippies, protesting the Vietnam War?
00:28:19.000
I get that once you want to say, hey, Trump isn't being respected.
00:28:37.000
Anyway, we should get back to the inauguration.
00:28:38.000
But before we do, we're running out of time here.
00:28:49.000
Go to jacbd.com, enter promo code GAVIN, you get 20% off all orders.
00:29:04.000
You get the tinctures taking the edge off your coffee.
00:29:11.000
The only thing worse than sparring is refusing to spar.
00:29:17.000
If you hit me in the head three times very hard, I'm stopping.
00:29:22.000
I won't stop mid-round, but I'm not, I don't want to do this anymore.
00:29:34.000
Let's get down to the inauguration, but as far as this podcast goes, we're going to sign off on the freebies.
00:29:44.000
Do we still put this thing on the free podcast?
00:29:49.000
You look like you forgot and you missed like four months.
00:30:01.000
I'll kill your entire family in front of you if you haven't done that.
00:30:13.000
So, to the people doing the freebies, I'm gonna say...
00:30:18.000
And to the rest of us paying for this show, we're going to keep going with the inauguration and enjoying ourselves, and then we're going to take calls and do some sketches.
00:30:29.000
You're showing all your shit, you dumb asshole.