Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes


GOML LIVE #89 | DRUNK AND LATE (Part 1)


Summary

Gavin McInnes and Ryan Henderson discuss the life and career of the late musician Mike Skinner. They discuss his early days in the music business, his early struggles with drugs and alcohol, and what it's like to grow up in the late 90s and early 2000s in New York City. They also talk about how they met and fell in love with the late singer and songwriter John Kinsman, who was in prison at the time of this episode. They also discuss the new Netflix show, Who's Got The Bag, which is out now, and why they think it's going to be a good show. And, of course, there's a mini-get-off-my-lawn segment at the end of the show where they talk about who they'd like to see as a fictional character in the new Get Off My Lawn movie. Subscribe to the show Subscribe on iTunes Subscribe on Apple Podcasts Subscribe on Podchaser.ee/GetOffMyLawn Subscribe on YouTube Subscribe on PODCAST CHAT WITH ME AND OTHER VIPS Subscribe on ALL SOCIAL MEDIA AND TELL A FRIENDS ABOUT GET OFF MY LOBE AND OTHER SPORTS AND ENTER TO WIN A PRIZE! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White Music by Jeff Kaale ( ) Cover art by Dee McDonnell Artwork by Ian McKellen Thank you for the work of Mossy Creek Records and our new album "The Good, The Bad, the Good, the Bad, The Great, the Beautiful, The Beautiful, and the Beautiful" - check us out! Music and art by Jeff talks about his new album, "The Other Side" by is out on SoundCloud . and we hope you like it! and you leave us a review of it on Instapod and we don't forget to tell us what you think we're listening to it on your favorite album on the pod is good, too! We'll send us your thoughts on it's good, we'll get a review on it on it and we'll review it on the good, good, the bad, the good and the bad and the ugly, the ugly and the beautiful, the beautiful and the weird, the weird and the just plain weird, and it's all of it all of that kind of stuff that you're listening about it, so we'll send it out to us in the next week!


Transcript

00:00:03.000 First in the room.
00:00:05.000 First in from noon.
00:00:07.000 Herbalist fumes.
00:00:08.000 Words me balloon.
00:00:11.000 Curse off the Zoom.
00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
00:00:20.000 Who's got the bag?
00:00:46.000 You know, in boxing they say you gotta sometimes let someone get a beating because they could have a comeback.
00:00:52.000 And as a homo, I say no.
00:00:56.000 Someone gets knocked down once, it's the end of the fight.
00:00:58.000 Throw in the towel.
00:01:00.000 Because I don't want these fighters getting brain damage.
00:01:02.000 But then other people go, who understand the sport better than me, go, no.
00:01:05.000 That's not what it's about, dude.
00:01:07.000 You ever seen Rocky?
00:01:08.000 You want to see the guy recover.
00:01:11.000 And Mike Skinner took a beating.
00:01:13.000 He was the top.
00:01:16.000 I think he did that song, um, When You're Famous, about how it's weird getting pussy when you're famous because it's so easy.
00:01:24.000 But then, when you meet a famous girl, it's just like when you wasn't famous, and that really pissed off people.
00:01:31.000 I don't understand why it made them so mad.
00:01:33.000 He was being honest.
00:01:34.000 His whole thing, Mike Skinner's whole thing was always being himself.
00:01:37.000 The streets, the band, was about being themselves.
00:01:41.000 I'm pluralizing the band and not calling it Mike Skinner because most Americans listening probably have no idea who the fuck I'm talking about.
00:01:48.000 And then he had some comebacks that sucked!
00:01:53.000 Sorry, they just didn't have that same
00:01:56.000 Oomph that same je ne sais quoi that same irreverence and the thing about Mike Skinner is he was always thinking outside the box with a totally fresh take like he had that song A you want to know you B B C and he did like the A B C D E F G to Z
00:02:15.000 And each line in the song was a different letter and it worked out fucking perfectly and you didn't realize you're listening to the alphabet.
00:02:21.000 That's how good he was.
00:02:22.000 And you know, you get older.
00:02:23.000 I mean, you've seen this show.
00:02:24.000 I've been doing this for 25 years.
00:02:26.000 You can tell that I'm getting old and weak and less funny than I was.
00:02:34.000 And then he comes out with this jam about recovering from COVID.
00:02:39.000 Everything's open again and you're going out and the first thing you say is, who's got the bag?
00:02:46.000 That's fucking great!
00:02:47.000 And that's a nod to the classic first album, right?
00:02:51.000 It is?
00:02:51.000 With that lighter?
00:02:53.000 That's always been his icon, shit lips.
00:02:57.000 And I just love the... I burned it up too soon.
00:03:02.000 I settled for a girl too early in the night.
00:03:05.000 I could have done better, maybe.
00:03:07.000 Shit!
00:03:17.000 How am I gonna get rid of her?
00:03:21.000 I always get along really well with that guy.
00:03:26.000 One time he came to my house and we were all hanging out.
00:03:29.000 I don't think we were doing heroin, but it's possible.
00:03:34.000 And uh...
00:03:36.000 This girl was there and these the two girls I didn't know there was wasn't that many people in my place it was my apartment on 9th Street in the East Village and there was maybe like eight people there and there's two girls I didn't know and they're just staring at him all night and then when they left they both gave him a
00:03:52.000 Fully conscious of each other.
00:03:55.000 Their hotels and the room number.
00:03:59.000 Each individually handed them those separate notes.
00:04:02.000 That was his life back then.
00:04:04.000 I'm talking like 2003.
00:04:08.000 Crazy Life.
00:04:08.000 I have a fun idea for today's show.
00:04:10.000 It's complicated, though.
00:04:11.000 Are you ready for this, Ryan?
00:04:12.000 Yes.
00:04:13.000 So it's free 9 to 9.30, right?
00:04:15.000 It's a two-hour show.
00:04:16.000 Of course.
00:04:16.000 So from 9 to 9.30, I want to do a sort of mini Get Off My Lawn.
00:04:22.000 So these freeloaders get an idea of what it's like.
00:04:24.000 So we'll do all our segments, but we'll do one story per segment.
00:04:27.000 That's fun.
00:04:28.000 Right?
00:04:28.000 That brings us to 9.30.
00:04:29.000 Then from 9.30 to 10, I want to watch TV.
00:04:34.000 Pardon.
00:04:35.000 But just on in the background like a little bubble.
00:04:38.000 Mm-hmm.
00:04:39.000 And then I want to write down commercials who's male, who's female, who's mixed.
00:04:45.000 I forgot mixed race.
00:04:47.000 Because as an alcoholic I'm constantly sitting in bars and I'm seeing every single fucking commercial is a black woman and a white guy.
00:05:01.000 Now, John Kinsman, who's in jail for racism, is married to a black woman, Zenoa Kinsman, the proud boy who went to jail for four years.
00:05:08.000 But besides that, I don't really see it that much.
00:05:11.000 Yet commercials, it's like fucking 80%.
00:05:16.000 Now, I used to think kids' movies, this is an old theory, so it may have changed by now, but back in like 2015,
00:05:27.000 14.
00:05:27.000 I said, kids movies are all politically correct, they all have a message now.
00:05:31.000 And then I went through and listed all the top kids movies, and I actually noticed I was wrong.
00:05:37.000 And there was a lot of movies that were actually pro-capitalist, pro-free market, anti-government.
00:05:44.000 I mean, E.T.
00:05:44.000 is anti-government.
00:05:46.000 This wasn't that far back, but you get what I'm saying.
00:05:48.000 So, the reason I want to do the chart is it could be that I'm wrong.
00:05:51.000 That I see one black woman with a white guy, and I go,
00:05:55.000 Stop saying that!
00:05:57.000 It doesn't happen that often.
00:05:58.000 And then I forget the other 8 out of 10 commercials that are like white on white, black on black.
00:06:03.000 So we'll see.
00:06:04.000 It's research.
00:06:05.000 So that's 930 to 10.
00:06:07.000 So let's power through this 9 to 930.
00:06:12.000 Where we're showing you what a typical two-hour episode is like, and we've been making them two hours, although Monday was three hours, which broke the machine.
00:06:21.000 So, Ryan, if you can get the sponsor's notes while I... Every show we have a book of the day, so we do the song of the day, and that was Mike Skinner's new hit, Who's Got the Bag?
00:06:32.000 Not that a 50-year-old man can do coke anymore, but we do remember our kooky days.
00:06:42.000 Isn't it weird when you focus these cameras and you see your beard and skin in a way you've never seen before and you realize, cameras are better than my eyes.
00:06:53.000 Not as far as color though.
00:06:55.000 If I'm looking at like a bug, I'll take out my camera and photograph the bug and look at the bug through my camera.
00:07:00.000 I did that the other day too, yeah.
00:07:02.000 What, you had a bug in your house?
00:07:03.000 No, we're trying to figure out, um, Jill and I were driving and there was some- Who's Jill?
00:07:08.000 Jill's, uh, my best lesbian friend.
00:07:09.000 Remember her?
00:07:11.000 Ryan's best friend is a girl.
00:07:13.000 My best lesbian- my best friend that is a girl.
00:07:17.000 There's two different categories.
00:07:20.000 You know that.
00:07:20.000 Anyway, this is my best friend.
00:07:22.000 My best female friend that is a girl, Leslie Arfand.
00:07:25.000 And I kind of wrote this book, to be honest.
00:07:27.000 I edited it.
00:07:30.000 And, uh, it's just her diary.
00:07:32.000 It was a column we had in Vice, and, uh, I've been doing a book a day, so inevitably we're gonna end up with, uh, books from way the fuck back.
00:07:45.000 Am I in the- any of these pics?
00:07:48.000 Is Chloe Sev- Chloe Sevigny's in there twice.
00:07:52.000 Where the fuck am I, you bitch?
00:07:56.000 This is back when we were really into design.
00:07:58.000 Look at this.
00:07:59.000 It has a magnetic cover that slams shut because it's a diary, right?
00:08:03.000 It's locked.
00:08:05.000 And this is about Leslie's life.
00:08:07.000 You know, a lower middle class Jewish girl on Long Island with a fucked up dad, dysfunctional dad.
00:08:15.000 She might not like me saying that, but fuck that guy, what a dork loser.
00:08:19.000 Not even a dork, a self-indulgent hippie boomer.
00:08:24.000 And, you know, when she was done the book, she goes, um, so what the fuck do I know?
00:08:31.000 You know, this is my diary.
00:08:33.000 I made a bunch of mistakes.
00:08:34.000 I corrected them, I hope.
00:08:36.000 And now I'm happily married with a kid, although I'm not sure she was when she finished this, but you get the idea.
00:08:42.000 And me and the editor from, uh, Simon & Schuster?
00:08:46.000 Is that who did this?
00:08:48.000 I think so.
00:08:49.000 We go, uh, Leslie, um, you can't fucking just say, whatever, who gives a shit?
00:08:58.000 This is powerhouse books.
00:09:01.000 Um, people are sitting down reading this book, carefully analyzing it, so they're looking up to you.
00:09:08.000 You're a teacher in this case.
00:09:10.000 You can't just say, I don't know, fuck it at the end.
00:09:13.000 And she goes, well, that's how I feel.
00:09:14.000 And I go, well, you gotta go, I don't know, go for a long walk, spend a few days thinking about what all this means, and come up with a summary at the end.
00:09:23.000 Now, spoiler alert, the summary is, it's good to make mistakes.
00:09:28.000 You'll figure out what's going on with life.
00:09:30.000 I made her this Frenemy timeline for the book, too, that shows when she liked this person and when they hated her and when they broke up.
00:09:37.000 But I'm noticing in the front here, wait a minute,
00:09:43.000 David, I've always been secretly in love with you.
00:09:45.000 Sorry you had to find out this way.
00:09:47.000 I love you, Leslie.
00:09:49.000 P.S.
00:09:50.000 You made me write that.
00:09:52.000 So I think this was David Cross's autographed copy that I ended up with somehow.
00:09:59.000 I hope I didn't steal it.
00:10:00.000 The why of things.
00:10:03.000 Why did you steal that?
00:10:08.000 Alright, so.
00:10:10.000 Our newest sponsor, look, we're already fucking almost halfway through the show.
00:10:15.000 And we've barely, we've only just begun.
00:10:19.000 Tactical Walls, I'd like to welcome our new sponsor, Tactical Walls, to the Censored.TV family.
00:10:23.000 They made this, they made this beautiful statue of Ryan and I as war movie veterans.
00:10:31.000 I've always bragged that though I've never been in a war, I've seen a lot of war movies, sometimes stoned, and I believe I deserve some sort of recognition for that.
00:10:40.000 And since I've started saying that, I've noticed that vets have a pattern where they say to me, thank you for my service.
00:10:47.000 I don't mean they're thanking me for my service.
00:10:49.000 I mean, they literally say that verbatim.
00:10:52.000 Thank you for my service.
00:10:55.000 Tactical Walls is veteran owned and operated and Tactical Walls is designed to store and secure firearms, but really you can hide anything in there.
00:11:03.000 Guns, grandma's prescriptions, heels and sunglasses, whips and chains.
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00:11:32.000 Now, usually our promo codes are just GAVIN.
00:11:34.000 This is GAVIN15.
00:11:37.000 Thanks, Tactical Walls.
00:11:38.000 We like you more than a friend.
00:11:39.000 Now remember, we're hiding guns here.
00:11:43.000 These are legal guns you're hiding, and you're really hiding them from your kids, and from intruders.
00:11:49.000 So, if you don't get tactical walls, and this is me talking, not them, you're killing a child.
00:11:55.000 You're killing your own baby.
00:11:57.000 Okay?
00:11:58.000 So if you want to continue murdering children, that's fine.
00:12:02.000 Go bananas.
00:12:03.000 Wait, is this a handkerchief box that hides a gun?
00:12:06.000 Hey, I'm coming to kill you, bearded guy!
00:12:06.000 Sure is.
00:12:09.000 I'm gonna shoot you in the head.
00:12:11.000 I'm a home intruder.
00:12:14.000 You better stop reading that magazine, because I'm here to rape your wife and kill your family and take all your stuff.
00:12:20.000 And I know you don't have a gun, because all you have is a box of Kleenex and a magazine and some old flat Coca-Cola.
00:12:28.000 He doesn't seem worried.
00:12:30.000 Well, now I'm in.
00:12:31.000 He's deaf.
00:12:32.000 This is the thing about deaf home invasions.
00:12:34.000 They take a while.
00:12:35.000 Boom.
00:12:37.000 Boom.
00:12:40.000 And kaboom.
00:12:44.000 Shalow, you've got home defense.
00:12:48.000 Shalow, you've got a glock.
00:12:51.000 Okay, so let's start the show.
00:12:53.000 Now this is a condensed version of our show, so we're doing My Pet Biden.
00:12:57.000 This is a regular segment we have where we talk about my pet Joe Biden.
00:13:08.000 Biden.
00:13:10.000 President.
00:13:11.000 Sleepy.
00:13:11.000 My pet.
00:13:22.000 All right, so this is a funny episode of My Pet Biden because we usually show him bumbling and we adore the way he tries to speak English.
00:13:30.000 And he's so cute when he's trying to leave a room and he forgets his mask.
00:13:34.000 And what?
00:13:34.000 Where am I going?
00:13:35.000 Do you want me to answer questions, Nance?
00:13:38.000 I'll do whatever you tell me to.
00:13:39.000 That's cute.
00:13:40.000 But this is a special edition of My Pet Biden where we have My Pet Biden's pet.
00:13:47.000 What's his name?
00:13:50.000 I just want to thank you both.
00:13:52.000 Did I send the wrong fucking thing?
00:13:56.000 I did.
00:13:57.000 So you're seeing us make a huge embarrassing mistake.
00:13:57.000 All right.
00:14:00.000 Oh, no, no, no.
00:14:01.000 I know what's going on.
00:14:02.000 I changed my mind.
00:14:04.000 I was going to make this about a German shepherd who has a Twitter account.
00:14:07.000 But then I realized we're trying to show people a normal episode to get off my lawn.
00:14:12.000 So I hadn't consulted my attorney, me, before I did this.
00:14:16.000 And I went back to a normal example of my pet Biden.
00:14:20.000 So here is my pet Biden trying to remember the Secretary of State, who is Lloyd Austin.
00:14:26.000 Lloyd Austin is our first black Secretary, not of State, Secretary of Defense.
00:14:32.000 And he is a nerd.
00:14:34.000 He's an academic.
00:14:36.000 I don't think he's ever been in battle.
00:14:39.000 He went to West Point, he's got all these degrees.
00:14:41.000 He's not my cup of tea.
00:14:45.000 Fuck the police's boss, I don't like top brass.
00:14:47.000 And I think he's a top brass kind of guy.
00:14:49.000 But Biden elected him probably because he's black.
00:14:54.000 But he doesn't actually care about him, which is why he can't remember his fucking name.
00:14:58.000 There he is, Lloyd Austin.
00:15:01.000 All books, all academia, all elitism, no grit, no experience.
00:15:08.000 A bunch of fake medals.
00:15:09.000 He's basically North Korean.
00:15:11.000 And the great thing about this show is people will write in and go, dude, his fucking best friend's head was blown off in Afghanistan and he put it in an ice bucket and dragged them both back to base and it was sewn back on and he lived.
00:15:26.000 That's where the ice bucket challenge came from, dick.
00:15:30.000 There's a one in a thousand chance that I'm wrong, but my research shows this guy is a boring academic who hasn't really paid his dues.
00:15:40.000 But he's black, and he's up there, so Biden got him on board.
00:15:45.000 Unfortunately, Biden, just like we see Joe as our pet, liberals see blacks as their pet, and he has no idea who the fuck the guy is.
00:15:54.000 By the way, the Secretary of Defense, that's a big job.
00:15:57.000 Donald Rumsfeld did it twice, in 75 and 2001, I believe.
00:16:03.000 We've had some pretty important Secretary of Defenses.
00:16:08.000 It's a big gig!
00:16:09.000 Anyway, go ahead, Joe.
00:16:12.000 I just want to thank you both and I want to thank the former general.
00:16:18.000 I keep calling him general.
00:16:19.000 Mad Dog Mattis?
00:16:21.000 The guy who runs that outfit over there.
00:16:24.000 I want to make sure we thank the secretary.
00:16:30.000 I know that.
00:16:30.000 He was a general.
00:16:32.000 He's my guy who runs that whole thing over there.
00:16:34.000 He's the secretary.
00:16:36.000 That's it.
00:16:37.000 That's all he remembers.
00:16:39.000 Do you think Trump could forget Mad Dog Mattis?
00:16:42.000 Is that possible?
00:16:43.000 That's my guy that's some sort of a dog.
00:16:49.000 For all he's done to try to implement what we just talked about and for recommending... Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on.
00:16:57.000 I want to thank my guy, he was a general, the secretary, whatever his name is, he runs that whole thing, and I want to thank him for all the stuff we just talked about.
00:17:08.000 He forgot the guy and the thing.
00:17:11.000 Is he the cutest pet president anyone's ever had?
00:17:15.000 I saw this video today online, I forget where it was, but it was a pug and she'd opened the cage for her pug, the little dog cage, and it was pacing back and forth in the cage, pissed off that it couldn't leave.
00:17:29.000 And she was looking going, oh Wilbur.
00:17:32.000 Because he didn't realize that all he has to do is turn left and he's no longer in a dog cage.
00:17:37.000 That's my pet Biden.
00:17:39.000 He's a monster of a friend.
00:17:42.000 And he has... Giving a pet pets is not going well.
00:17:48.000 Holy shit.
00:17:49.000 Is that him in the background?
00:17:51.000 Is that Lloyd Austin right behind him?
00:17:55.000 It is.
00:17:56.000 It looks like it, right?
00:17:57.000 It sure does.
00:17:58.000 I mean, how many other... How many other tall black men are there in the world?
00:18:02.000 He's got a specific type of head, too.
00:18:02.000 Yeah.
00:18:04.000 By the way, the thing I was going to show on this was Joe Biden's Sherman Shepard's Twitter account, where he's like, I'm pawfully sorry that I bit someone because he bit his security detail.
00:18:21.000 And it's a very cute little Twitter account where he says stuff in dog talk.
00:18:26.000 But I thought, wouldn't it be funny if the security detail died?
00:18:31.000 He got some horrible infection from the dog bite.
00:18:34.000 And the last message from the president was a tweet from his dog saying, I'm powerfully sorry that I bit you, but I was scared.
00:18:44.000 Anyway, that's my pet Biden.
00:18:45.000 Jesus, we're 20 minutes into the show.
00:18:47.000 We've barely done one thing.
00:18:49.000 Let's jump into racism.
00:18:53.000 Ready, Ryan?
00:18:55.000 That was racist, guys.
00:19:02.000 It's like one of our weirdest intros because it's Ryan's bizarre, like, late 90s graphic design talents with shit I told him to do.
00:19:14.000 And then he does these filters on things where he makes them washed out and orange.
00:19:19.000 Your graphic design sense isn't bad.
00:19:22.000 It's foreign.
00:19:23.000 Yeah.
00:19:25.000 You're a foreigner.
00:19:27.000 It's a cool thing.
00:19:28.000 I mean, that one does... It's a cool thing.
00:19:29.000 That one's weird.
00:19:31.000 But I like it.
00:19:32.000 It definitely doesn't... It sits weird in my portfolio.
00:19:36.000 No, it doesn't.
00:19:37.000 It goes along with your entire portfolio, which is fucked up.
00:19:40.000 Speaking of which, we need you.
00:19:47.000 To show allegiance to Johnny Apple CBD.
00:19:49.000 These guys have been with us since day one.
00:19:51.000 CBD works.
00:19:53.000 It's not a myth.
00:19:55.000 The hippies are correct.
00:19:57.000 You don't need the THC.
00:19:59.000 You don't need to get high.
00:20:00.000 You know what you need when you work out and your legs are in pain?
00:20:05.000 You need the topicals.
00:20:07.000 You need to rub it in.
00:20:09.000 Go to JACBD.com right now and show them the same support you show us.
00:20:13.000 Even if it's a small purchase.
00:20:15.000 Buy the gummies.
00:20:16.000 Get a tincture.
00:20:17.000 We put the tincture in our coffee and it totally takes the edge off.
00:20:22.000 Treat yourself, or as the guy who writes the ad copy for Get Off My Lawn, treat yo self.
00:20:29.000 He's a white guy from Chicago, but he respects Ebonics, apparently.
00:20:34.000 And they leak their way into our ad copy.
00:20:37.000 JACBD.com promo code Gavin.
00:20:40.000 Now remember, Tactical Walls is Gavin15.
00:20:44.000 JohnnyAppleCBD is just Gavin.
00:20:46.000 20% off all orders.
00:20:46.000 Thank you, JohnnyAppleCBD, for sticking with us through COVID.
00:20:49.000 God bless JohnnyAppleCBD.
00:20:51.000 God bless America.
00:20:53.000 Oh my god, we're down to the last five minutes of the free shit.
00:20:55.000 And we've barely touched our free show.
00:21:00.000 See, this is why I always describe our show as radio.
00:21:04.000 Because it's many hours and there's a lot of meandering.
00:21:07.000 Tucker Carlson is television.
00:21:09.000 Tucker Carlson is bonk, bonk, bonk, we're gonna hit all these points.
00:21:12.000 We have two minutes per point.
00:21:14.000 That's not who I am.
00:21:15.000 I'm not as good.
00:21:18.000 I like the freedom to meander.
00:21:21.000 Anyway, over the course of the week we've been analyzing all the cartoons that have been killed.
00:21:26.000 And it's amazing how hard it is to keep track.
00:21:29.000 So I thought I had a grip on it two days ago on our special episode called Killed Cartoons.
00:21:35.000 And what did we have on that episode?
00:21:37.000 We had Pepe Le Peur is done because he's a rapist.
00:21:41.000 Lola Bunny is done because she's hot.
00:21:43.000 And we don't want to make kids horny.
00:21:47.000 Speedy Gonzalez is done because he exemplifies the stereotype of a lazy, drunk Mexican.
00:21:55.000 And you go, but he's not a lazy, drunk Mexican.
00:21:58.000 He's zipping all over the place.
00:22:00.000 He's Speedy.
00:22:01.000 It's in the name, just like Antifa.
00:22:03.000 It's anti-fa.
00:22:06.000 But there is an episode, I guess, where his friend is a drunk Mexican?
00:22:09.000 Okay, what?
00:22:12.000 Um, and then we had the six Dr. Seuss books.
00:22:16.000 Which, within those six, there's about, um, twelve characters that are unacceptable.
00:22:22.000 Like Eskimo fish.
00:22:25.000 So you go, okay, we're done, right?
00:22:27.000 Not even close.
00:22:29.000 That's only four.
00:22:31.000 And Dr. Zeus is a weird category because it's like 10 within that one.
00:22:38.000 No, we now have Dumbo.
00:22:42.000 Now in Dumbo, there's those black crows.
00:22:45.000 They're like, what you talk about, Willis?
00:22:48.000 I like some fine foxy mamas.
00:22:52.000 My problem with that is,
00:22:55.000 They weren't negative.
00:22:56.000 The crows weren't like human garbage, even though they were crows.
00:22:59.000 They weren't crow garbage.
00:23:01.000 And they were very amicable, weren't they?
00:23:03.000 Not that that should matter.
00:23:06.000 Right?
00:23:06.000 I don't remember the... You could have black villain crows who steal and cheat and stab people.
00:23:12.000 That's a segment of the black population.
00:23:15.000 You can have Scottish murderers.
00:23:17.000 Why couldn't if the Scottish is a great metric for all this shit.
00:23:23.000 Like what if there was Scottish crows that were drunks and wore tartan and head butted people.
00:23:30.000 Those are valid patterns you may have noticed of the Scots.
00:23:35.000 And I don't have a problem with that.
00:23:41.000 The big picture is here, what's the matter with negative stereotypes?
00:23:45.000 Aren't they voiced by blacks too?
00:23:47.000 And that's how they act.
00:23:50.000 That's how some acted.
00:23:51.000 They bust balls and they're like, ah, you don't look like this, you look like that.
00:23:59.000 And by the way, this is why our show can't be short, because we're talking about complicated nuance here.
00:24:05.000 This is a fight I had with Leslie Arfin very recently.
00:24:09.000 Because she's not racist, and I am, allegedly.
00:24:13.000 And I said to her, we were talking about stuff like this, like the crows, and I go, I get that that's, you know, stereotypical, but people are stereotypical.
00:24:23.000 A lot of Scots are drunk.
00:24:25.000 There's plenty of Scots who are teetotalers, but I went to Scotland every year as a kid, my parents are Scottish, I'm Scottish, I'm drunk right now!
00:24:34.000 That's why I was late for the show!
00:24:35.000 Because I was at a bar!
00:24:39.000 And she goes, well, look at long duck dong in 16 candles.
00:24:44.000 I mean, do you honestly think that wasn't racist?
00:24:47.000 And I go, yes, I honestly think that wasn't racist.
00:24:52.000 And she goes, you're blowing my mind here.
00:24:54.000 She goes, you haven't evolved since 2008.
00:24:58.000 She goes, there's a fucking gong every time you see him.
00:25:03.000 And by the way, God bless Leslie for at least being open to yell to a grumpy old man, an Archie Bunker.
00:25:09.000 Most people have just like severed the cord.
00:25:11.000 In fact, I'm guilty of saying just sever the cord.
00:25:14.000 But I go, yes, I'm aware of the gong with Long Duck Dong.
00:25:19.000 But so?
00:25:21.000 And then the argument is the perpetual foreigner argument, which, by the way, got the Aristocats killed.
00:25:30.000 He is a foreigner.
00:25:32.000 It's not in the notes, Ryan.
00:25:34.000 Just dig up Long Duck Dong.
00:25:35.000 Why aren't you looking that up, you stupid chink?
00:25:39.000 Well, because I thought it was going to be like a little hop and a skip.
00:25:42.000 That's what I'm saying about this show.
00:25:44.000 We can't do hop and skips.
00:25:45.000 Yeah.
00:25:47.000 Now, by the way, someone would take that stupid shank out of context.
00:25:49.000 It's obviously a hilarious joke where I'm talking about stereotyping Asians and then I make usually an anti-Asian epithet.
00:25:57.000 That's brilliant.
00:25:58.000 Yet in Max and John's appeal, they're the proud boys that are in prison, all they talked about was my racist hate speech.
00:26:04.000 Meanwhile, they're not getting the nuance of the quips.
00:26:07.000 But I get why we're all supposed to say this is racist, okay?
00:26:16.000 He's not cool.
00:26:16.000 That was me and Courtney Crowley at the prom.
00:26:25.000 That's you and every girlfriend you've ever gone out with.
00:26:33.000 No, but this was a real giant.
00:26:46.000 So, yes, it checks off all the boxes of racist, right?
00:26:52.000 But we should be able to go, okay, but why?
00:26:56.000 And again, the Scottish thing comes in handy.
00:26:59.000 What if there was a Scottish exchange student and he had a tartan tam and a kilt on and every time you saw him in the movie there was bagpipes and he had a Mickey
00:27:15.000 He had a mickey of whiskey and he was chugging it and then he would have a red nose and he'd fall over backwards.
00:27:22.000 Is that racist?
00:27:24.000 Or are they just lampooning a pattern?
00:27:29.000 Like what is racism?
00:27:31.000 I would say racism is not just noticing a pattern but insisting it applies to every single person of that group.
00:27:40.000 Which none of these examples are doing.
00:27:43.000 All these examples are saying, here is one tiny, here's five people doing that thing that happens to be a stereotype.
00:27:52.000 And then the other fucking misnomer is this whole, see it to be it thing.
00:27:57.000 Where they go, I was young, I'm like a Japanese Puerto Rican and I never saw people like me on TV.
00:28:04.000 So?
00:28:06.000 Ben Carson is not a fucking brain surgeon because he saw a black brain surgeon on TV.
00:28:13.000 Wait, play that clip.
00:28:15.000 How is this different from Long Duck Dong?
00:28:18.000 We've got the paper down!
00:28:26.000 He's just pissed.
00:28:30.000 Dude, I remember that completely.
00:28:31.000 Everyone was yelling it.
00:28:32.000 We've got the paper down!
00:28:35.000 So maybe that's because you- I wasn't yelling, you misremembered it.
00:28:37.000 Yeah, because I hear you yelling with- I'm just like thinking everything Scottish people say is yelling.
00:28:41.000 It's amazing how many things you misremember.
00:28:43.000 Yeah.
00:28:43.000 I remembered it better, I think.
00:28:46.000 Right, yeah, we improve things.
00:28:48.000 There's a drunken piper who collapsed.
00:28:52.000 Who can I sue?
00:28:53.000 That's not really flattering, is it?
00:28:54.000 No, it's not flattering!
00:28:56.000 So is that the deal?
00:28:58.000 You can only show patterns if they're flattering?
00:29:00.000 No, well, they're white and you can't get away with that.
00:29:02.000 The thing is, like, people make fun of Southerners.
00:29:03.000 Like, you can show black people, you know, white man can't jump.
00:29:07.000 You can show black people doing awesome in sports and stuff and... Cool runnings.
00:29:11.000 Some cool jazz thing, cool runnings, whatever.
00:29:13.000 But if there's, like, a negative... That's really what racism is according to these new rules.
00:29:18.000 Even coming to America.
00:29:19.000 Anything that depicts a pattern that is negative.
00:29:22.000 The brand new coming to America.
00:29:23.000 How is that not a problem?
00:29:24.000 When they're talking like this.
00:29:25.000 Because he's rich.
00:29:26.000 Right?
00:29:27.000 And he doesn't eat the poo-poo.
00:29:29.000 They eat the poo-poo!
00:29:33.000 All over the place.
00:29:34.000 All over the place.
00:29:36.000 By the way, Ugandan homophobe.
00:29:39.000 They don't really eat the poo-poo.
00:29:42.000 In those pornos that you saw, they clean their asses with like bleach wipes and they have a bunch of enemas.
00:29:47.000 So they're licking pretty clean anal lips.
00:29:51.000 I would say we could ask Milo about that, but I don't even know anymore.
00:29:53.000 Milo's not gay anymore.
00:29:55.000 Milo.
00:29:55.000 Who's Milo?
00:29:57.000 Milo's not gay.
00:29:58.000 He's my Milo.
00:29:59.000 He's Milo.
00:30:00.000 Yes.
00:30:01.000 By the way, I'm mad at him.
00:30:02.000 Could he not have mentioned censored.tv while he made national news again?
00:30:10.000 We made South Park.
00:30:12.000 Proud Boys made South Park.
00:30:14.000 Oh really?
00:30:14.000 Yep.
00:30:15.000 I didn't know that.
00:30:16.000 Pretty fun.
00:30:17.000 Oh, there we go.
00:30:18.000 South Park, Proud Boys, and then they have just, you know, P with the laurel.
00:30:23.000 Keith sent this to me.
00:30:25.000 That's cool.
00:30:26.000 We made it.
00:30:27.000 Apparently Enrique is already making those hats.
00:30:30.000 And, uh, are those zits?
00:30:33.000 Yeah, or meth marks.
00:30:37.000 He's got a, they got Hawaiian shirts.
00:30:39.000 We're not boogaloo boys.
00:30:40.000 This guy's got a pirate hat on.
00:30:42.000 I don't, I haven't seen that.
00:30:44.000 Okay.
00:30:45.000 And then they got, you know, this guy.
00:30:46.000 Q. The, yeah.
00:30:50.000 Whoever the fuck Q is.
00:30:52.000 So, um,
00:30:54.000 I blew it.
00:30:55.000 My goal was to do a mini show in half an hour.
00:30:58.000 I'm not even close to done.
00:31:00.000 Two segments.
00:31:00.000 My pet Biden and racism.
00:31:02.000 But let's just finish this.
00:31:04.000 Let's just make it a long free episode.
00:31:08.000 Aristocats.
00:31:10.000 So Aristocats is gone because they have the Siamese.
00:31:15.000 We are Siamese if you please.
00:31:18.000 They have the Siamese cats in there and they have chinky eyes and big teeth.
00:31:25.000 That's the perpetual foreigner thing.
00:31:27.000 The perpetual foreigner thing applies if they're not foreigners.
00:31:30.000 When I was a kid and I saw these Chinese cats playing, I just assumed that they were newly here.
00:31:38.000 Just like Mike Myers as Scott.
00:31:40.000 So that's insane.
00:31:42.000 And then the other one was, get this, um, the pirates are negatively portrayed in, what was it?
00:31:51.000 Peter Pan.
00:31:52.000 What?
00:31:54.000 Yes, pirates are bad.
00:31:57.000 Their fucking flag, oh there, you just showed it, right, that was it.
00:32:00.000 Their fucking flag is a skull and crossbones.
00:32:04.000 That's bad.
00:32:08.000 The reason we have the Marines is because Muslim pirates were kidnapping our women and turning them into sex slaves.
00:32:18.000 I mean they're villains.
00:32:20.000 How is that negative to point out?
00:32:24.000 And they're not sensitive either.
00:32:25.000 They were rapists, sodomites.
00:32:27.000 Yeah.
00:32:28.000 And they fucking killed people.
00:32:30.000 They don't like cartoons.
00:32:31.000 They're not going to be offended by this.
00:32:34.000 If you can't make pirates villains who they would ride up next to your boat.
00:32:37.000 I'm not sure if you're familiar with everything in the world.
00:32:41.000 I'm turning into John Mulaney, you know, as in everything in the world, you know, those pirates with their socks, you know, rapists.
00:32:51.000 Um.
00:32:52.000 And look, pirates were Middle Eastern.
00:32:56.000 They were Arabs, basically.
00:32:59.000 But in this, they make them white as a bunch of Englishmen, and that's still not acceptable.
00:33:06.000 That's not good enough.
00:33:07.000 So pirates are portrayed negatively in Swiss Family Robinson and Peter Pan, so that's gone.
00:33:12.000 Oh no, sorry, Peter Pan, the problem with Peter Pan was Redskins.
00:33:20.000 Indians are called Redskins.
00:33:22.000 Which is fucking wrong.
00:33:24.000 Like I've made three redskins from scratch.
00:33:28.000 It's a ridiculous thing to be offended by.
00:33:31.000 And I think there's a good argument that they did have redskin.
00:33:35.000 The thing about Indians is, and this is a fault of ours,
00:33:41.000 They had developed brown fat and Wim Hof in the book, That Which Does Not Kill Us, explains that human beings are capable of developing brown fat where we are better at withstanding the cold.
00:33:56.000 We somehow pussied out.
00:33:57.000 We used to have this ability back when we were, you know, Vikings and surviving the Siberian winters.
00:34:05.000 We developed this skill too.
00:34:07.000 The Indians lost it much later than us.
00:34:10.000 So they would be able to withstand, like, say, 20 degrees with no shirt on.
00:34:15.000 We would be freezing our asses off with that.
00:34:18.000 And I would imagine if you are wearing no shirt in 20 degrees, even if you're warm, your skin's gonna be pretty red.
00:34:25.000 There's a lot of circulation going on here.
00:34:28.000 So my personal theory is that Redskins got the name because they were red because they were scantily clad in cold weather, which they could handle.
00:34:37.000 Anyway, it's not a fucking insult, and it's insane that these people are all banned.
00:34:44.000 All right, that's gonna be, I guess, the end of the usual segments we have.
00:34:48.000 I had Antifa, I had feminism, but towards the end of every show, we go and do the mailbag, where we read letters from viewers.
00:34:59.000 So let's try that.
00:35:02.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
00:35:07.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
00:35:13.000 Let me touch it.
00:35:16.000 Okay.
00:35:16.000 I have to go pee very bad.
00:35:21.000 Um, Ryan, can you read the first, uh, letter here?
00:35:26.000 Yes.
00:35:27.000 It's from a guy named... Brendan?
00:35:28.000 Brendan, and he talks about Long Duck Dong.
00:35:30.000 Oh, it's a little video.
00:35:33.000 My name is Phuc Long, and today we're talking about a salty fin.
00:35:36.000 Some people out there want to take all your money, kick your duck, do the booty infiltrate.
00:35:42.000 Some people say, you pee your pan, do the throw up, and you make them not horny anymore, and they go away.
00:35:49.000 But I don't want the Phuc Long inside the Phuc Long.
00:35:53.000 Some people use the pepper spray, but not the 100% reliability.
00:35:58.000 What's up?
00:35:59.000 At the Five Power United... Should I just show the video or talk?
00:36:04.000 So that is a video of a guy making fun of Chinese people, and from personal experience, using personal experience here, my Korean boss was very racist towards Japanese and Chinese.
00:36:14.000 Wait, I just said, if it's boring, interject.
00:36:18.000 Oh, I didn't hear what you said, and I said should I?
00:36:19.000 I know, but you should just know that instinctually, we're trying to entertain people here.
00:36:22.000 I don't think it's boring.
00:36:22.000 It's only a minute.
00:36:24.000 No, that's not relevant.
00:36:25.000 And there's a punchline.
00:36:26.000 It seems like this is a comedy bit that's a minute, so if I would step on a punchline, then it would take away the possibility of it being funny.
00:36:33.000 You know what I mean?
00:36:35.000 Okay, so what's his joke?
00:36:38.000 Um, he's being loaned a dog and he's like, take it from, you know, people trying to rape you in the booty so you can throw a pepper spray at them.
00:36:44.000 But that doesn't work.
00:36:44.000 Some people use a pepper spray.
00:36:47.000 But not the 100% reliability.
00:36:50.000 At the Firepower United, we had a new... That Chinese guy does not do a very good Chinese accent.
00:36:55.000 I'm not gonna smash the subscribe.
00:36:57.000 No, that's not fire or hot.
00:37:00.000 He could totally buzz off.
00:37:01.000 But again, I understand
00:37:06.000 Why you sound good when you say that long duck dong is a racist stereotype.
00:37:13.000 I understand you sound sane, and the way we've all been conditioned, box is checked off.
00:37:19.000 It's a Chinese stereotype, there's a gong, all that.
00:37:24.000 But let's go a layer deeper and show me, like in a court of law, why that is racist.
00:37:32.000 And you can't really do it.
00:37:34.000 And that's the problem with all of these fucking banned cartoons.
00:37:38.000 Alright.
00:37:39.000 Hey Arnold, Budsdrinker, and Inselvester Stallone.
00:37:43.000 I remember you talking about pedos and saying that there's a difference between a 50-year-old man with a 13-year-old girl.
00:37:49.000 I don't think I said that much of a gap.
00:37:53.000 And an 18-year-old boy with a 15-year-old girl.
00:37:56.000 Now there is literally an episode on Have a Seat with Chris Hansen like that with a nervous 18-year-old virgin boy trying to meet up with a 15-year-old girl, which we don't advocate!
00:38:08.000 But it's no guy my age with a girl underage.
00:38:13.000 It's hard to watch.
00:38:13.000 They literally ruined the poor kid's life.
00:38:16.000 And the sheriff from the department they're doing these sting operations with is interviewed by Chris Hansen and calling the poor kid sick and depraved and this and that.
00:38:25.000 The fucking guy is portrayed in the first episode as a hero as he is marching with Black Lives Matter and being a complete treacherous little cuck.
00:38:33.000 Fuck the police, his boss.
00:38:35.000 I'm not saying you should watch the episode right now.
00:38:38.000 Though it's pretty crazy to hear the boy cry, but it's more in the comments.
00:38:40.000 They're fucking gold.
00:38:42.000 And the dislikes on the video just show you how the majority don't have a fucking problem with a high school senior going out with a sophomore.
00:38:47.000 Now, I went to prom... I think my girlfriend in high school was 15 when I was 18.
00:38:53.000 I was maybe 17.
00:38:58.000 But I think I did this.
00:39:00.000 I'm here... I hear my confession.
00:39:01.000 Yeah, I had one like that too.
00:39:02.000 We didn't... I think when I was 17, I think I dated a 15 year old.
00:39:07.000 Which was like two grades lower.
00:39:09.000 Yeah.
00:39:10.000 She was in 9th grade, I was in 11th grade.
00:39:12.000 Mine was like that too.
00:39:13.000 And there wasn't any weirdness to it.
00:39:15.000 No, it was a little weird.
00:39:16.000 Oh really?
00:39:17.000 Yeah.
00:39:18.000 We had like two years apart.
00:39:19.000 We didn't, we were like, I'll just wait.
00:39:21.000 We waited to do things.
00:39:24.000 Yeah, I think we waited too, but we were dating early.
00:39:27.000 But anyway, let's see this.
00:39:31.000 You got him!
00:39:34.000 Get the pedophiles off the streets!
00:39:41.000 If they would dare.
00:39:42.000 Wouldn't you love to see this Chris Hansen in London with Pakistanis?
00:39:47.000 Wouldn't that be the end of his career?
00:39:49.000 No, he would be the beginning.
00:39:52.000 Grooming all these British girls.
00:39:56.000 You know, no matter how many times I do this, you still... Wonder if this one... Wonder if this was a fucked up thing to do to an 18 year old.
00:40:05.000 I have a hard go with somebody who's on the young side, even though legally they're an adult.
00:40:10.000 So you have to hope in this case that Sean does learn a lesson.
00:40:14.000 It would seem that he'd be a candidate for probation.
00:40:18.000 And if he can stay out of trouble and learn something from this, go to college.
00:40:22.000 Anyway, shut up, Chris.
00:40:23.000 We don't want to be known as the... We're showing you this...
00:40:29.000 Microcosm of our show, and I don't want you to think that we regularly defend sex with 14-year-old girls.
00:40:36.000 What's up with all the cartoons and why can't you just fuck kids?
00:40:38.000 What's the matter with fucking a 14-year-old?
00:40:41.000 Once again, on today's show, we delve into the times it's okay to fuck a 14-year-old.
00:40:47.000 And they're canceling the cartoons.
00:40:49.000 What else are they going to watch when they bring us... I mean, what's next?
00:40:52.000 First of all, Pepe Le Pew's bad and now fucking a 14-year-old's bad?
00:40:57.000 What if she's horny?
00:41:00.000 I'm turning into Jerry Seinfeld.
00:41:01.000 Yeah.
00:41:02.000 I notice things!
00:41:05.000 Alright, so that's, we usually end the show with a thing we call the final video, which was recorded by a band called the Beastie Boys.
00:41:28.000 Okay.
00:41:31.000 So, cops are monsters.
00:41:33.000 They shoot black people for sport.
00:41:35.000 They're all racist.
00:41:36.000 They have terrible training.
00:41:37.000 That's a big thing you hear.
00:41:39.000 Like Derek Chauvin.
00:41:41.000 Actually, I don't know how it's pronounced in America.
00:41:42.000 I'm from Quebec, so when I see that spelling, I think Chauvin.
00:41:45.000 But they probably call him Chauvin.
00:41:47.000 Just like Gouverneur.
00:41:49.000 The prison where Max Hare is is called Governor.
00:41:53.000 Um, but you gotta understand, cops are trained to punch you in the face.
00:41:57.000 Punching someone in the face is a great reboot.
00:41:59.000 If someone's acting like a fucking asshole, nothing reboots your hard drive like a punch to the head.
00:42:04.000 So that's why they punch you in the face when they're putting your arms behind your back.
00:42:08.000 Also, the Chauvin knee on the neck that you saw happen to George Floyd for eight minutes that caused God knows how many deaths.
00:42:17.000 Dude, there was just a death today, I believe.
00:42:20.000 Today or yesterday.
00:42:21.000 Did you know that the George Floyd area now has a CHAZ?
00:42:24.000 Yeah, and a kid got shot in it.
00:42:26.000 A kid got shot and killed there.
00:42:28.000 Yeah, the police couldn't get in there.
00:42:29.000 A black kid.
00:42:30.000 They're trying to drag him out of the zone so that way he can get attention.
00:42:32.000 Well, yeah, because cops aren't allowed into CHAZ.
00:42:35.000 Floyd CHAZ.
00:42:36.000 FLAZ, we'll call it.
00:42:39.000 So, people die in this myth, defending the myth that innocent people are being killed.
00:42:48.000 The knee on the neck is part of police procedure.
00:42:51.000 It's a way to hold a perp down who's delirious and might be having a heart attack and ODing.
00:42:56.000 And it's a way, believe it or not, to get him to breathe.
00:42:59.000 Yeah, you heard me.
00:43:00.000 When you have a knee on the neck, you're keeping him flat and trying to help him breathe.
00:43:05.000 I know that sounds crazy, but that's the way it is.
00:43:08.000 And if you check the police manuals of Minneapolis, they show that particular move.
00:43:15.000 Because you have to understand, the guy's not coming from sitting at a desk talking to his friend.
00:43:20.000 He's coming from fighting the cops, having a heart attack, freaking out.
00:43:24.000 You're trying to subdue him till the ambulance comes.
00:43:26.000 That's what they were trying to do.
00:43:28.000 Unfortunately, he was OD'ing on Fentanyl.
00:43:32.000 And that shuts your lungs down and you die no matter what position you're put in.
00:43:36.000 Anyway, the truth of that case is if he's found innocent, no matter what the evidence, there's going to be riots in the streets.
00:43:45.000 So the judge is probably going to be a pussy and do what they did with Rodney King and just say, uh, everyone's guilty.
00:43:54.000 Throw them in jail.
00:43:55.000 I don't want to get fired.
00:43:57.000 And so Chauvin will go to jail for doing the right thing.
00:44:01.000 Yeah, you heard me.
00:44:03.000 He didn't do anything wrong.
00:44:04.000 Derek Chauvin did nothing wrong.
00:44:06.000 And George Floyd OD'd.
00:44:07.000 I'm sorry.
00:44:08.000 Anyway.
00:44:09.000 You know, he ate his drugs before too.
00:44:10.000 There was another situation where he did that.
00:44:12.000 Yeah, he had a pile of... Fentanyl, by the way, is so potent that when the cops go to pick it up, they wear hazmat suits.
00:44:19.000 They're picking up plutonium, as far as they're concerned.
00:44:22.000 But he ate a whole bunch of it.
00:44:25.000 On Anthony's show, he said he did it before, too.
00:44:27.000 It was on record that he had done that same eat-the-drugs move.
00:44:30.000 Oh, really?
00:44:31.000 Yeah.
00:44:31.000 And he survived.
00:44:32.000 I just heard that.
00:44:33.000 Huh.
00:44:34.000 Because you can see him throw it in his mouth in the video.
00:44:37.000 But anyway, here's an angle
00:44:41.000 You don't usually see about what cops have to deal with, and we're very pro-cop on the show here.
00:44:47.000 And these are guys answering a call from a dude.
00:44:50.000 Look at that beautiful tile work.
00:44:52.000 I'm sorry to get lost in craftsmanship, but what a lost art that is.
00:44:58.000 Just perfect, literally perfect.
00:45:02.000 So they get a call from a guy, and this has volume I hope.
00:45:07.000 Yep, it's up.
00:45:08.000 Is this a not safe for work deal?
00:45:11.000 Uh, this is not safe for work.
00:45:12.000 Well, no, I don't think so.
00:45:13.000 You don't see anyone, like, really with their lemon peeled back.
00:45:17.000 Okay.
00:45:20.000 Not getting involved.
00:45:20.000 Can you hear it?
00:45:21.000 No.
00:45:22.000 Ah, shit.
00:45:23.000 Because there's a police, maybe they'll go do the police cam.
00:45:26.000 So this guy's...
00:45:28.000 They answer, oh you're not seeing anything here, this sucks.
00:45:31.000 So they're, move it over to the side so you can see me, and it.
00:45:35.000 So they're answering a call, and the guy's very friendly.
00:45:38.000 And they go, hey, how you doing?
00:45:39.000 He goes, yeah man, just had to call you.
00:45:43.000 And they go, okay, this seems safe.
00:45:44.000 They come up the stairs to see what's going on, and he runs out and pulls a gun, boom, boom.
00:45:53.000 Like, go back, go fucking back.
00:45:56.000 These trigger, these cops, they keep saying they're trigger happy.
00:46:01.000 This is not, how trigger happy can you be when this is your life?
00:46:04.000 Look at this, one, 1,002, 1,003, boom!
00:46:09.000 Like, thank God the guy has shitty aim.
00:46:11.000 He's a stormtrooper, probably.
00:46:14.000 And he doesn't get that first guy in that fucking head.
00:46:17.000 Look at him.
00:46:18.000 Look at that.
00:46:20.000 How long, how much warning did they have?
00:46:22.000 This isn't a hostage situation.
00:46:23.000 This is a guy who is being super friendly.
00:46:26.000 Hey man, I'm just making pizza.
00:46:29.000 And then I'm trying to kill you.
00:46:30.000 And by the way, I blame the media for this, because the media has portrayed cops as vigilante fucking Boba Fetts who go and just kill people.
00:46:40.000 By the way, I'm watching The Mandalorian regularly with my youngest boy, so you're going to hear a lot of Star Wars references.
00:46:48.000 So in a strange way, I kind of get this guy.
00:46:52.000 Hold on.
00:46:53.000 Stop.
00:46:57.000 Wow.
00:46:59.000 I kind of get this guy because he's dumb and the media is telling him that cops are hunting black people all day.
00:47:05.000 That was too much of indecence.
00:47:07.000 You go, all right, well, I don't like that.
00:47:10.000 My dad is black.
00:47:11.000 My brother's black.
00:47:12.000 I want to shoot back.
00:47:15.000 So there's some culpability here from fucking CNN, Black Lives Matter, MSNBC.
00:47:22.000 They are responsible for this.
00:47:24.000 So here it is with volume.
00:47:27.000 Oh, officers!
00:47:30.000 What's going on?
00:47:32.000 Did you call?
00:47:32.000 Yeah, I gave you a call.
00:47:34.000 What's going on?
00:47:35.000 Um... What's up with all of you motherfuckers, man?
00:47:39.000 What you got goin' on?
00:47:40.000 Oh, wake up, it's an issue now?
00:47:42.000 What's going on?
00:47:43.000 Wake up, it's an issue, bro!
00:47:44.000 Listen, if you come in here... You got some issues now, man.
00:47:48.000 Be sure you got your guard on.
00:47:49.000 You know the guys man, I'm asking all that stupid shit, right?
00:47:52.000 You called?
00:47:53.000 Huh?
00:47:53.000 Did you call?
00:47:54.000 Oh, yo, yo, put the gun down!
00:47:58.000 Yeah, they have to say, put the gun down.
00:48:00.000 Wow.
00:48:02.000 Now, obviously, if he has a gun, he's there to kill them.
00:48:09.000 Thank God no cops got shot there.
00:48:12.000 Did they get him?
00:48:12.000 I don't know.
00:48:18.000 I hope so.
00:48:23.000 Anyway, folks, that is what's supposed to be a half hour version of the show.
00:48:28.000 It ended up being 50 minutes.
00:48:31.000 That's what we do.
00:48:32.000 We do a bunch of segments.
00:48:33.000 There's also often interviews.
00:48:35.000 There's also often a green screen.
00:48:39.000 And I'm usually sober when I do this show.
00:48:42.000 So that's another difference with tonight.
00:48:45.000 But get fired.
00:48:46.000 Get in trouble.
00:48:48.000 Wait, wait, wait.
00:48:49.000 So I'm going to say the ending and then we're going to cut to like a whatever screen, play some of the streets and then we're going to come back and we're going to do that commercial thing and then we're going to take calls and do drawings.
00:49:00.000 Yes.
00:49:01.000 Alright, so get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.