Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes


GOML LIVE #90 | HAPPY ST. PAT'S (Part 1)


Summary

On this week's episode of Get Off My Lawn, the boys are joined by comedian and friend of the show, John Rocha, to talk about a variety of topics, including the recent Milo Yiannopoulos appearance on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, and the fact that they're both wearing funny hats. Also, they talk about what it's like to be an Italian-American in America, and why they don't have the same things that other Americans have. Also, the guys talk about how they grew up in the 80s and 90s, and what it was like growing up in a family of Italian immigrants in New York City, and how it's a good thing they didn't grow up like the other Italian families in the big cities, because they have a lot in common with the one and only Joe Pesci. And, of course, they also talk about The Godfather, and other mafia movies and TV shows that are all the rage in the 90s and early 00s, like The Wire and The Sopranos. And, as always, there's a special guest appearance from the Pogues, Sally McLennan! Get off My Lawn! Get Off Your Lawn! is a production of Gimlet Media. Get On My Lawn is a podcast about comedy, stand-up comedy, and all things related to it. Get Off Their Lawn! Get Off Our Lawn! by The Pogues! Subscribe, Like, Share, and Subscribe to our new music streaming service, Gimlet. We're listening to Gimlet now! Thank you for listening to this episode of GET OFF MY LOUNGE, GIVE IT A RATE. Subscribe on iTunes and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and subscribe to our podcast! and other podcasting platforms! We'll be looking out for your comments and reviews on the podcast in the next episode of the podcast and other cool things you can do to support us on social media! so we can spread the word out there about the show! Love ya'll can have a good time! Enjoyed it? and spread the love and support us out there on your socials! ! Subscribe and shout us out on your Insta on the road! Thanks for listening out! XOXOXO! xoxo, John Condon - John Corman ( ) xo


Transcript

00:00:07.000 We're good to go!
00:00:55.000 That was Sally McLennan by the Pogues.
00:00:58.000 Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn.
00:01:00.000 We have the live show here.
00:01:03.000 Unfortunately, I've been drinking all day and I'm fucking shithammered.
00:01:07.000 So we're gonna pretend that I'm sober and I guess take calls all day?
00:01:15.000 Sure.
00:01:15.000 I think people would be upset if you weren't a little smashed up.
00:01:19.000 Yeah, I was considering pulling my chain out, but I realized that's Italian.
00:01:22.000 Yeah, I had that problem too.
00:01:24.000 It's Italian and black.
00:01:28.000 So, uh, Irish... Irish wear cardigans, green shirts, and, uh, funny hats.
00:01:37.000 Um... I should also announce that I, um, am gay.
00:01:45.000 Milo Yiannopoulos didn't just give up his homosexuality, he gave it to me.
00:01:52.000 And my wife has conceded that she's relieved that I won't constantly be trying to eat her out.
00:01:57.000 Simply ain't that straight.
00:02:01.000 So I'm a fag.
00:02:03.000 And he's straight.
00:02:05.000 He's a fag!
00:02:07.000 He's a fag!
00:02:09.000 He's a straight!
00:02:11.000 What the fuck, a very difficult situation!
00:02:15.000 That was pretty good because he had like a little gristle at the end.
00:02:18.000 Like just some fat Italian breath.
00:02:19.000 I feel so sorry for his fucking son.
00:02:21.000 Yeah.
00:02:22.000 Hey, Joey Soprano, your dad was considered the greatest.
00:02:29.000 Let me take a step back.
00:02:31.000 Here in America, mafia movies are all we care about.
00:02:36.000 And I noticed this when I moved from Canada to America.
00:02:39.000 They talk about the Godfather every day.
00:02:41.000 My father-in-law is a normal dude, nerdy dude, biochemist.
00:02:44.000 He's not like, he's not a murderer.
00:02:46.000 But when you talk to him about the Godfather, he's like, oh my God, yeah, yeah.
00:02:50.000 Frito did this and fucking, yeah, they're obsessed with it.
00:02:56.000 All of them.
00:02:56.000 And they watch it every Thanksgiving, which I don't get.
00:02:59.000 Here's the thing I never got about Americans when I moved here.
00:03:04.000 They'll watch the same movie 19 times.
00:03:06.000 Oh yeah.
00:03:08.000 I don't get that.
00:03:09.000 I'm British and Canadian.
00:03:11.000 When we see a movie, we're good.
00:03:14.000 But they'll watch it again and again and again.
00:03:18.000 That's the one thing I can't seem to reconcile about being an American is watching the same fucking movie over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.
00:03:37.000 Run through a motherfucking movie.
00:03:39.000 I don't get it.
00:03:40.000 I really don't get it.
00:03:41.000 Doesn't look like he's trying to follow too closely in his father's footsteps though.
00:03:47.000 Um, I forgot what I was talking about.
00:03:48.000 So let's, uh, show how unprepared we are.
00:03:53.000 And, uh, even though we have plenty of notes and just make this show a bunch of phone calls.
00:03:58.000 Yeah.
00:04:02.000 I'm not going to draw it too.
00:04:04.000 I'm too drunk.
00:04:05.000 I've been drinking all day.
00:04:09.000 All right.
00:04:10.000 Connecting.
00:04:12.000 Do you like my hat?
00:04:13.000 Yeah, that's pretty legit.
00:04:14.000 I can tell it's like a good... Did I tell you, when I bought this hat, a fucking homeless black man spat on me?
00:04:20.000 What?
00:04:20.000 Do you remember that?
00:04:22.000 Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:04:22.000 Want to tell this story?
00:04:23.000 Wait, I vaguely remember that.
00:04:25.000 Right, so it was, the guys in my gym, champs, we said, let's have a, like, uh... What's the show?
00:04:33.000 With the EastEnders, the fucking... Oh, the Bar Crawl, uh... Not Penny Dreadful.
00:04:37.000 Fucking... Penny... Peaky Blinders.
00:04:39.000 Peaky Blinders Pub Crawl.
00:04:41.000 Yes.
00:04:42.000 So I have, obviously, I have three-piece tweed suits.
00:04:45.000 I actually have a fucking stopwatch, whatever it is.
00:04:49.000 Pocket watch, yeah.
00:04:50.000 Pocket watch of my grandfather's that still works.
00:04:52.000 And my grandfather was wealthy.
00:04:55.000 It's my grandfather that blew the savings and made my mom poor.
00:04:58.000 You know how it goes?
00:05:01.000 Poor men make weak times, weak men make good times, blah, blah, blah.
00:05:05.000 So my mom grew up poor, but her father was wealthy.
00:05:10.000 My grandfather was very wealthy.
00:05:12.000 Both my grandfathers were wealthy and both my parents grew up poor.
00:05:15.000 Anyway.
00:05:18.000 Congratulations.
00:05:23.000 So I have a super fancy pocket watch that's like probably 200 bucks today.
00:05:34.000 And That was my mom's dad's dad my mom my mother's grandfather my great-grandfather um, so I have all that shit, but I didn't have the hat and So I went I was walking around downtown and I was looking at Wherever you buy these from what is this?
00:05:54.000 There's a particular place that has all the hats.
00:05:57.000 This is a Stefano or whatever
00:06:02.000 And I'm in the new New York, which is called a shithole and There's these two giant black dudes Accosting a random East Indian gentleman, and they're about six four and they're like, what are you fucking gonna do?
00:06:18.000 There's no method to their madness.
00:06:20.000 They'll just like shoving him and I
00:06:25.000 He's not really in danger because they're just like, what are you going to do?
00:06:29.000 What are you going to do?
00:06:29.000 And they're shoving him and he's going, calm down.
00:06:33.000 And so I pull out my phone and I start recording and they go, oh, you're recording now.
00:06:38.000 So their attention diverts to me.
00:06:40.000 And then they go.
00:06:40.000 Oh, they spit.
00:06:46.000 One of them spit, spit all over me.
00:06:48.000 And I'm fucking covered.
00:06:51.000 I'm absolutely covered.
00:06:53.000 I felt ugly.
00:06:54.000 I felt gay.
00:06:56.000 This is, I think, pre-COVID.
00:06:58.000 So I can't blame the pandemic.
00:07:00.000 I'm covered in spit from top to bottom.
00:07:04.000 And it's like this.
00:07:05.000 It's like fucking pepper spray.
00:07:08.000 So I'm going like this.
00:07:10.000 And then he said something else.
00:07:11.000 I'm forgetting the story now.
00:07:14.000 But I was so disoriented by getting the spit off my face that I couldn't hear what it was after that.
00:07:20.000 And I went into the hat store.
00:07:23.000 And I was still, I was like, do you have a bathroom or something?
00:07:26.000 I had spit all over me.
00:07:29.000 So I washed up in the bathroom and then I just got this hat.
00:07:32.000 And this hat was ridiculously expensive.
00:07:35.000 It was like 80 bucks.
00:07:38.000 Anyway.
00:07:40.000 You turn around and walk away!
00:07:42.000 After getting spat on.
00:07:45.000 That's where we are.
00:07:47.000 We got calls.
00:07:48.000 Let's do it.
00:07:49.000 We got Stephanie.
00:07:50.000 Wait a minute, I have something to say.
00:07:53.000 Did you know that you're not fair?
00:07:56.000 I saw that coming.
00:07:59.000 When you hear the Pogues, you're hearing an Englishman, a guy with an English accent, doing an affected Irish accent.
00:08:06.000 Shane McGowan is as Irish as I am English.
00:08:10.000 He moved to England when he was six.
00:08:12.000 I moved to Canada when I was five.
00:08:15.000 So, I don't talk about being English because I'm not.
00:08:19.000 Billy, I don't affect an English accent.
00:08:23.000 Shane McGowan should not affect an Irish accent.
00:08:26.000 He's English.
00:08:27.000 How is it with you?
00:08:28.000 Fine.
00:08:29.000 Fine.
00:08:29.000 You drinking water right now?
00:08:31.000 Not gin.
00:08:32.000 Not gin.
00:08:32.000 You like gin?
00:08:34.000 Pure gin.
00:08:34.000 Look how aggressively he's holding that cup.
00:08:39.000 He's squeezing it to that.
00:08:40.000 You like gin?
00:08:42.000 Pure gin.
00:08:45.000 Sorry man.
00:08:46.000 Are they at the airport?
00:08:49.000 Oh my god, stop eating so many broken Cheerios.
00:08:57.000 Just eating a hardtack with his front teeth.
00:09:06.000 Just eating rejected chiclets.
00:09:10.000 Chiclets factory.
00:09:12.000 What are you eating?
00:09:13.000 Other teeth?
00:09:15.000 Stop eating people's teeth.
00:09:15.000 Yeah.
00:09:17.000 Grow your own teeth.
00:09:19.000 Someone told me that you could get better teeth if you ate other people's teeth.
00:09:23.000 Anyway, um... What was I talking about?
00:09:30.000 Oh, you're listening to a guy with an affected accent.
00:09:33.000 Yeah, so Shane McGowan is faking an Irish accent and Phil Lynott of the epic, totally rockin' Irish band Thin Lizzy is faking an American accent.
00:09:47.000 Tonight is gonna be a jailbreak.
00:09:50.000 That's an Irishman.
00:09:51.000 He sounds like the most American singer I've ever heard.
00:09:53.000 I know he's brown, but he's Irish.
00:09:56.000 Born and raised Irishman.
00:09:58.000 Mom's some black chick who fucked an Irish dude.
00:10:03.000 Top of the mornin' to ya.
00:10:03.000 Listen to this.
00:10:05.000 Looks like Ali... I love Loki Charms.
00:10:07.000 Looks like Ali Alex Hendricks.
00:10:08.000 Well, your mom, too.
00:10:09.000 We'll be talking to her in a moment.
00:10:11.000 What's this about going to live in Hoth?
00:10:13.000 Right, well, the left is... The problem with them is that the Democrats never own up to what they're going to do, so we have to get strong action on them, and that's why we hold them accountable.
00:10:13.000 Come on.
00:10:21.000 It's actually not a band.
00:10:23.000 Ali.
00:10:24.000 Ruins the image, you know, Phil.
00:10:25.000 Ruins the image.
00:10:26.000 Uh, well...
00:10:28.000 I was looking for a place to live in Ireland because, you know, when I moved away... That's trippy.
00:10:34.000 I thought, well, I must come home, you know, because I really suffer from homesickness.
00:10:39.000 I really suffer from homesickness.
00:10:42.000 Not so much Ireland.
00:10:43.000 So, when you hear... I hate to ruin St.
00:10:46.000 Paddy's Day, but when you hear Thin Lizzy, you're hearing an Irishman do an American accent, and when you hear The Post, you're hearing an Englishman do an Irish accent.
00:10:59.000 Tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak.
00:11:02.000 I'm jammed!
00:11:04.000 The boys, you better let them fight around.
00:11:06.000 You know what killed this fucker is heroin.
00:11:09.000 Another one?
00:11:10.000 Solo in Soho.
00:11:12.000 Look up that album.
00:11:13.000 He got in a smack.
00:11:26.000 And then he had a fun song about punks.
00:11:30.000 He's like, Generation X, we're next.
00:11:33.000 The Sex Pistols were an old time crash.
00:11:36.000 Is that it?
00:11:38.000 What's it called?
00:11:39.000 Uh, yeah, this is the whole album.
00:11:41.000 But there's Dear Miss Lonely Hearts, King's Call, Tattoo, Solo in Soho, Girls... Solo in Soho.
00:11:46.000 Look up Solo in Soho.
00:11:48.000 It's all about punk.
00:11:50.000 And it's just him, fucked out of his mind on fucking heroin, the poor... Should I say poor bastard?
00:12:08.000 That's some heroin back there.
00:12:10.000 This is like a clash-like evolution.
00:12:12.000 He mentions The Clash.
00:12:13.000 Oh, really?
00:12:14.000 We're headed on an all-time crash.
00:12:14.000 The Clash.
00:12:16.000 Is this the only song that sounds like this?
00:12:18.000 The Sex Pistols were in swindles.
00:12:18.000 Great.
00:12:22.000 This is garbage.
00:12:30.000 Yeah, they got experimental there.
00:12:32.000 This is garbage, you junky asshole!
00:12:33.000 This is their Secret 77.
00:12:35.000 No, now we have to hear the Phil Lynott song from that album about the Sex Pistols.
00:12:41.000 What are our options?
00:12:42.000 Alright, so we got Girls, Yellow Pearl, Ode to a Black Man, Jamaican Rum.
00:12:47.000 That's it.
00:12:48.000 And then there's Tattoo, King's Call, Dear Miss Lonely Hearts.
00:12:52.000 I can look it up.
00:12:55.000 None of those are a thing.
00:12:57.000 He has like Sham 69, we're in shambles.
00:13:02.000 Like it's all puns.
00:13:04.000 Talkin' 79?
00:13:05.000 Yeah, that's it.
00:13:06.000 Talkin' 79.
00:13:07.000 Let's hear that.
00:13:10.000 The Clash were headed for an all-time crash.
00:13:13.000 Meanwhile he's doing a fake fucking... He's talking shit?
00:13:16.000 Now he's doing a fake English accent.
00:13:21.000 Is this like a diss track?
00:13:24.000 Sort of.
00:13:29.000 The Clash were headed for a head-on collision.
00:13:40.000 It is pretty cool.
00:13:43.000 You can't deny it's cool.
00:13:44.000 Generation X was next.
00:13:45.000 That's my band.
00:13:46.000 This is a fuckin' diss track.
00:14:07.000 D.Vo didn't know.
00:14:09.000 D.Vo didn't know?
00:14:11.000 Because they could not get no satisfaction.
00:14:14.000 The rats were caught in their own trap.
00:14:18.000 Steve Strange began to change.
00:14:21.000 Ultrabox had a system.
00:14:22.000 Crankwork had a system.
00:14:24.000 And the Yellow Magic Orchestra missed them.
00:14:30.000 It's heavily written.
00:14:32.000 This is interesting.
00:14:34.000 Yeah.
00:14:34.000 Why aren't there any, like, rock diss tracks?
00:14:37.000 Anyway, fuck off!
00:14:38.000 There should be rock diss tracks.
00:14:40.000 Yeah, let's do rock diss tracks.
00:14:42.000 We fuckin' don't.
00:14:42.000 ACDC, sir!
00:14:46.000 Fuck you Led Zeppelin.
00:14:48.000 You're fuckin' gay.
00:14:50.000 We got Stefani or Stephanie?
00:14:52.000 Before we get started, by the way, let's recognize that, um, we got caught.
00:15:00.000 Uh, oh we have reads too.
00:15:02.000 I always said that no one would notice that Ryan was QAnon.
00:15:10.000 Right.
00:15:11.000 I said we're going to do that.
00:15:12.000 I'm going to release all my top information through him.
00:15:15.000 He's a useless Puerto Rican nip.
00:15:18.000 Correct.
00:15:19.000 That's what it seems at least.
00:15:20.000 But it's not that.
00:15:22.000 He's actually a very astute world governor.
00:15:26.000 Trust my plan.
00:15:28.000 And Ryan Katsu Rivera is QAnon.
00:15:32.000 So I guess we should confess that now, right?
00:15:35.000 I'd like to keep people in the dark a little longer.
00:15:36.000 No, why bother?
00:15:38.000 Alright, fine.
00:15:39.000 Folks at home, you've been looking for QAnon.
00:15:41.000 He has been identified as Ryan Katsu Rivera.
00:15:45.000 You're welcome.
00:15:47.000 And by the way, when you see a retard like Ryan running something as big as QAnon, you know it's me.
00:15:54.000 I'm QAnon.
00:15:57.000 I'm the fall guy.
00:15:58.000 And Generation X was next.
00:16:00.000 Wait, where the hell?
00:16:02.000 Where's my picture?
00:16:04.000 Of me as QAnon.
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00:17:11.000 Thanks, Tactical Walls.
00:17:13.000 We like you more than a friend.
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00:17:17.000 They did this beautiful statue where I am a war vet.
00:17:23.000 You see this?
00:17:29.000 Fall right out.
00:17:30.000 You're ready for all of your home defense needs.
00:17:32.000 You can close it back up when you're done.
00:17:35.000 It's got like a hydraulic sort of thing so it doesn't drop hard.
00:17:38.000 Yeah, that's the whole thing.
00:17:38.000 Things are always in magnets.
00:17:57.000 She looks like she'd be great in bed, by the way.
00:18:00.000 Well, I don't know who that is according to the company.
00:18:01.000 That could be relative.
00:18:03.000 It could be Mike's wife.
00:18:04.000 Yeah, so that's... And we're not disparaging her.
00:18:06.000 No.
00:18:07.000 Right?
00:18:08.000 You're just calling him a lucky man.
00:18:09.000 A lucky man.
00:18:11.000 He's a lucky man.
00:18:14.000 We've had this caller on for a while and we psyched her out twice.
00:18:20.000 Okay.
00:18:21.000 I think it's time.
00:18:23.000 For Stephanie to speak her peace and say her truth.
00:18:26.000 Stephanie, let's talk to you!
00:18:30.000 Hot damn, finally!
00:18:31.000 Oh, the echo is there.
00:18:37.000 I love it.
00:18:38.000 Oh, sorry, sorry.
00:18:39.000 Let's get rid of that.
00:18:42.000 Echo departing in three, two...
00:18:45.000 Okay, Gavin.
00:18:46.000 How about now?
00:18:47.000 Still same echo?
00:18:49.000 We live in California, but we both kind of have mobile jobs, so we're trying to find out where we should live.
00:18:59.000 Wait, I'm sorry.
00:19:00.000 You're in the same boat as me.
00:19:01.000 You're trying to figure out where to move to?
00:19:08.000 Hello?
00:19:09.000 Are you there?
00:19:10.000 Can you hear me?
00:19:10.000 Hello?
00:19:12.000 Oh my god, this is so irritating.
00:19:14.000 Hello?
00:19:15.000 So her echo appears to be about a minute long.
00:19:19.000 No.
00:19:20.000 No, now she's back in action.
00:19:41.000 Okay.
00:19:42.000 Hey, uh, what's the caller's name?
00:19:44.000 Wait, you gotta listen to us now, not the, not the, the stream.
00:19:52.000 Yes.
00:19:53.000 Okay.
00:19:54.000 Okay.
00:19:54.000 It's Stephanie and I'm, my husband and I are trying to find out where to live.
00:20:00.000 We're in the same boat as Gavin.
00:20:01.000 Okay.
00:20:02.000 So you, I just, please repeat after me.
00:20:05.000 Two.
00:20:05.000 One.
00:20:05.000 One.
00:20:11.000 Two.
00:20:11.000 Three.
00:20:14.000 Three.
00:20:14.000 Okay, so there's a bit of a delay, but it's not bad.
00:20:18.000 And where are you guys right now?
00:20:21.000 We're in California.
00:20:23.000 All right, so here's my solution to your problem.
00:20:27.000 Ready?
00:20:27.000 Yes.
00:20:30.000 The area is Eastern Tennessee, North Carolina, South Carolina.
00:20:36.000 That sounds like a crazy, huge expanse of American land.
00:20:42.000 It's actually as big as Westchester, which is where I live now.
00:20:46.000 It's just, it's like two hours apart.
00:20:48.000 So we're going to go there together, you and I, and we're going to rent an apartment.
00:20:55.000 Rent a really nice apartment for a year anywhere near Asheville, North Carolina.
00:21:02.000 And we're going to look at Knoxville.
00:21:05.000 We're going to look at everywhere in that area.
00:21:08.000 And we're going to look at homes to buy.
00:21:10.000 And then we'll buy a home in an area that is mega and safe and has expats.
00:21:19.000 And, uh, uh, we're not going to be ostracized.
00:21:25.000 Okay.
00:21:25.000 That sounds good.
00:21:26.000 I mean, anything is better than California at this point.
00:21:30.000 California's got to go.
00:21:34.000 How old are you?
00:21:35.000 We were looking at, we're looking at Texas, but now I'm worried about the border crisis that nobody reports about.
00:21:43.000 Yeah.
00:21:43.000 Texas is a problem.
00:21:44.000 It's also so fucking hot.
00:21:46.000 Like the beauty of Eastern Tennessee and North Carolina is you don't burn alive.
00:21:55.000 Well, I think there's tornadoes right there right now.
00:21:57.000 I saw someone talking about tornado warning in Tennessee.
00:22:02.000 I can take a tornado.
00:22:03.000 Um, how old are you?
00:22:09.000 Gavin, you're the only 10 I see.
00:22:11.000 Oh, appreciate it.
00:22:12.000 How old's your wife?
00:22:20.000 What?
00:22:21.000 How old are you?
00:22:24.000 We're like 35.
00:22:25.000 Can you tell us all about your first period?
00:22:28.000 Oh my god.
00:22:37.000 Oh my god.
00:22:38.000 What was that like?
00:22:42.000 What?
00:22:43.000 What was it like?
00:22:43.000 Was it damning?
00:22:44.000 Did you have like tennis shorts on?
00:22:47.000 What was the deal there?
00:22:48.000 That is an interesting question.
00:22:49.000 You know, I thought that was just a shock conversation.
00:22:51.000 I want to make it a theme.
00:22:52.000 Tonight's call-ins are mostly about your first period.
00:22:57.000 We're going to turn now to that outbreak of... I was at Girl Scout camp, actually.
00:23:01.000 You what?
00:23:04.000 I was at Girl Scout camp when I got my first period, but my mom was there, so that was nice.
00:23:10.000 And what were the symptoms?
00:23:16.000 I don't know, look it up on Wikipedia.
00:23:19.000 So you had, did you ruin like your pants?
00:23:25.000 No.
00:23:27.000 So you pre-pawned, okay.
00:23:29.000 So what happened?
00:23:31.000 Every woman tonight, we're gonna ask her about her first period.
00:23:37.000 I'm sure you'll get more women wanting to call in men.
00:23:44.000 So what happened with you?
00:23:45.000 Like you had some sprinklings?
00:23:47.000 What was the deal?
00:23:50.000 Yeah, I think so.
00:23:51.000 I don't even remember.
00:23:52.000 That was like 20-something years ago.
00:23:55.000 Alright, well thanks for calling.
00:23:56.000 You're cut off.
00:23:59.000 Not enough details.
00:24:01.000 That's the punishment you get when you don't have... How can you not remember that?
00:24:05.000 It's like a first kiss.
00:24:06.000 Yeah.
00:24:08.000 Do you remember the first time you came?
00:24:11.000 Uh, yeah, I remember the first time stuff came out.
00:24:15.000 Really?
00:24:15.000 I don't.
00:24:16.000 Huh.
00:24:17.000 I remember I was in the bathroom and some, it was like, stringy.
00:24:20.000 And I was like, this is what I've been hearing about.
00:24:24.000 That's it.
00:24:24.000 I remember beating off until my dick would go bright red and then nothing would happen.
00:24:30.000 Yeah, it just gets angry.
00:24:31.000 It's like, ah!
00:24:32.000 12.
00:24:32.000 It just gets sore.
00:24:34.000 And then I said to Dale Eakin, I go, I've been trying to masturbate.
00:24:37.000 And he goes, what?
00:24:39.000 That's fucking gross.
00:24:40.000 Are you serious?
00:24:41.000 And I went, no, I'm kidding.
00:24:48.000 Can you imagine someone actually, you know, what?
00:24:51.000 Like what?
00:24:53.000 Oh my God.
00:24:54.000 Uh, no, no, I don't do that.
00:24:57.000 Then you hit a phase where you think it's cool.
00:24:59.000 We're like, yeah, jerking off.
00:25:01.000 Am I right, folks?
00:25:04.000 Born a jerk.
00:25:05.000 By the way, folks, this green t-shirt, I went over to the Fag Zone today, this morning at about 10 a.m., and I said, hey, Ryan, do you have my champ shirt?
00:25:17.000 And he goes, yeah, yeah, I have that.
00:25:19.000 And I go, where the fuck is it?
00:25:20.000 And he goes, oh, it's in my dirty laundry.
00:25:23.000 I go, okay, well how long has it been in there?
00:25:26.000 Why is it in there?
00:25:27.000 And he goes, oh you made me wear this shirt.
00:25:30.000 And I'm going, I think I made you wear this shirt at St.
00:25:35.000 Patrick's Day because it's an Irish shirt.
00:25:37.000 And he goes, yeah you did.
00:25:39.000 I go, that's literally one year ago today.
00:25:42.000 Yeah.
00:25:44.000 He has dirty laundry that's one year old.
00:25:49.000 Correct.
00:25:51.000 Isn't that fucked up?
00:25:53.000 And I go, okay, here's what we should do.
00:25:57.000 I'm in the fag zone.
00:25:58.000 I have a contractor bag.
00:25:59.000 I go, let's take this contractor bag.
00:26:02.000 And put everything bad in the contractor bag.
00:26:06.000 And he goes, well, um, I already started that.
00:26:08.000 I have a contractor bag.
00:26:10.000 In his hoards, like he's a hoarder, in his hoards of hoard, he has like a pile of shit with a contractor bag that has like two shirts in it.
00:26:21.000 Right?
00:26:22.000 Everybody?
00:26:24.000 Yes.
00:26:24.000 Yes.
00:26:25.000 So he has a contractor bag with two shirts in it in his hoarding.
00:26:31.000 And he goes, I just, I thought the other shirts are, like I don't wear them, but I should donate them.
00:26:35.000 I'm like, don't donate them.
00:26:38.000 There's nothing to donate to.
00:26:39.000 There's no donating.
00:26:40.000 I hate this fucking shit.
00:26:41.000 There's no, no one's, there's no poor black American children going, I wish someone would send me a shirt so I could just go outside and have a fucking shirt on.
00:26:54.000 Stop.
00:26:55.000 And this goes for all of you out there.
00:26:58.000 Fucking,
00:27:00.000 Put it in a contractor bag.
00:27:02.000 I'm married to a hoarder.
00:27:04.000 I wish I was married to a hoarder.
00:27:05.000 I'm not.
00:27:07.000 And I have rented a fucking container.
00:27:11.000 Three times.
00:27:13.000 Three times since we've been married.
00:27:15.000 And I've filled it thrice.
00:27:17.000 Thrice.
00:27:20.000 One time it was almost always shoes.
00:27:22.000 Come on man!
00:27:24.000 Mikey!
00:27:26.000 All right, let's take another call.
00:27:29.000 We've got Sean.
00:27:31.000 Sean, you're on the line.
00:27:32.000 Hello?
00:27:33.000 Hello.
00:27:34.000 Hello?
00:27:35.000 Yo.
00:27:36.000 Fellers, how you doing?
00:27:37.000 Great, great, great.
00:27:39.000 Quick question for you, Gav.
00:27:41.000 Yep.
00:27:42.000 I was wondering if you can speak a little bit about East Village Radio and those times in New York in the early aughts.
00:27:51.000 Okay, coming up.
00:27:53.000 You ready?
00:27:54.000 And thank you for calling.
00:27:56.000 East Village Radio was run by a pizza place, Frankie's Pizza, and they did a great job.
00:28:03.000 It had a very little span.
00:28:07.000 One of the weirdest things about it was there was a woman, I remember we, I would appear on this show a lot with the
00:28:16.000 The dude from the thing and the other guy from the stuff?
00:28:19.000 I forget their names.
00:28:20.000 I probably shouldn't name their names or it'll ruin their careers.
00:28:24.000 But before us was this reggae hour and the woman who did it had huge fucking dreads and shit and she was German.
00:28:34.000 So she'd go, hello, how are you?
00:28:36.000 What are you doing?
00:28:37.000 Don't fuck around.
00:28:38.000 Okay.
00:28:39.000 So I'm going to be going up after you guys.
00:28:41.000 Okay.
00:28:42.000 So let's do it, Ben.
00:28:43.000 And then we would be done our set.
00:28:47.000 And then she'd go, well, go on.
00:28:48.000 Welcome back.
00:28:50.000 And she did a whole, she became a Jamaican person for her set.
00:28:56.000 Isn't that weird?
00:28:59.000 Anyway, the guys I did that show with are super cool dudes who I love that will probably never speak to me again.
00:29:09.000 There it is.
00:29:11.000 What's their names?
00:29:13.000 Jay?
00:29:16.000 No, not those guys.
00:29:20.000 Jay something?
00:29:22.000 Anyway, those two dudes who I would still get along with like great if we were, if it wasn't this world we're in today.
00:29:31.000 But if I walked, like if I ding-dong their doorbell, if I ding-dong their doorbell in 2014, they go, hey man, what's up?
00:29:40.000 If I ding-dong their doorbell today, they would shit their fucking pants.
00:29:46.000 I think it's Jay and Jason.
00:29:48.000 Anyway, I still remember everything about those dudes.
00:29:52.000 I could talk shit about them.
00:29:53.000 I could say they're rapists.
00:29:55.000 I could say they fucked girls when the girls were passed out.
00:29:58.000 That's not the case.
00:30:00.000 Super awesome dudes.
00:30:02.000 Great guys.
00:30:04.000 Sort of like David Cross.
00:30:06.000 David Cross was my best pal.
00:30:10.000 We peaced out during the divorce and my
00:30:17.000 Revenge is to say, great guy.
00:30:20.000 And also the thing about David is everyone wanted to fuck him, which I did not understand.
00:30:25.000 He's bald and ugly, but he never considered cheating on any girlfriend he ever had.
00:30:32.000 I'm happy to shit on people who dump me that are assholes.
00:30:36.000 I couldn't wait.
00:30:38.000 Couldn't wait to do it.
00:30:40.000 Oh, the guy was in Japanther.
00:30:42.000 No, what was he in?
00:30:46.000 You can't find those guys?
00:30:48.000 In that article it just said a bunch of Frankies.
00:30:53.000 Japanther.
00:30:55.000 With Matt Riley and Ian Venick.
00:30:58.000 Who's the singer of Japanther?
00:31:02.000 No, that's a different band, sorry.
00:31:03.000 Maybe I'm thinking of the other Japanther band.
00:31:05.000 What were they called?
00:31:09.000 Anyway, next call.
00:31:12.000 Let's see, we got Dominic.
00:31:15.000 Why don't you take this while I go piss?
00:31:17.000 Alright.
00:31:19.000 Yo, Dominic, you're on the line, dawg.
00:31:21.000 Hey, what's up guys, can you hear me?
00:31:24.000 Yes.
00:31:25.000 Can you hear me?
00:31:26.000 Yes.
00:31:28.000 Hey, what's up all sparkly eyes and warden of the fag zone?
00:31:33.000 What's that?
00:31:35.000 So, what's up all sparkly eyes and warden of the fag zone?
00:31:38.000 I'm both of those.
00:31:41.000 Yeah, yeah, I know.
00:31:42.000 So, Gavin, listen, I'm a regular listener to the show.
00:31:46.000 I think you're awesome.
00:31:47.000 And I just wanted to call and, like, oh, so Gavin's not there.
00:31:51.000 Yeah, dude, I'm here.
00:31:54.000 Just do the fucking call.
00:31:55.000 Oh, Jesus, sorry.
00:31:58.000 So, you know, your musical acumen is very impressive, right?
00:32:02.000 I haven't stopped listening to that Tune Yard album.
00:32:05.000 Oh, yeah, that's weird.
00:32:06.000 I haven't stopped listening to the Care Yard.
00:32:10.000 What's that?
00:32:12.000 Oh, I get it.
00:32:13.000 That's, yeah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.
00:32:19.000 Jeez, I'm fucking bombing right now.
00:32:21.000 No, you're not.
00:32:22.000 No, this is Ryan.
00:32:22.000 I'm trying to be a dick, but I'm just...
00:32:27.000 Yeah, so over the weekend I went to a poker game with some buddies of mine.
00:32:30.000 So, again, Gavin, your musical taste is really, really impressive.
00:32:34.000 I'd love to have a conversation with you one day, but I'm a piece of garbage and you'd never give me that time.
00:32:38.000 But I decided at this poker game to throw on Ryan's Up and Down song again, and it turned into a Westboro Baptist Church fucking chorus of FAGGOT!
00:32:52.000 FAGGOT!
00:32:55.000 That doesn't make me feel good at all.
00:32:56.000 That's fantastic, sir.
00:32:57.000 How did you find the song?
00:32:59.000 Where'd you get the song from?
00:33:05.000 Hello?
00:33:06.000 Sir?
00:33:07.000 He dropped it.
00:33:09.000 I did not drop him.
00:33:11.000 Promise.
00:33:11.000 We can get him back.
00:33:12.000 Yeah, I swear to God.
00:33:12.000 I want to hear where he got it from.
00:33:13.000 Okay, let's dig up your song.
00:33:15.000 Um, see, well, I took it off the internet and it can't be found.
00:33:19.000 I looked and somebody said I was bullshitting.
00:33:21.000 It's the up and the down.
00:33:22.000 It's the up, the down.
00:33:24.000 You gotta go up, you gotta go down.
00:33:25.000 You can see it from the show, that's it.
00:33:27.000 You gotta go up, you gotta go down.
00:33:29.000 Nope, doesn't exist.
00:33:30.000 Alright, let's get him back on the line.
00:33:33.000 Dominic.
00:33:34.000 Call back and then say you're Dominic.
00:33:36.000 Oh, here he is.
00:33:36.000 Call back.
00:33:37.000 See, I can call him back.
00:33:40.000 I can do that sort of thing.
00:33:43.000 John?
00:33:43.000 Dominic?
00:33:44.000 Yeah, so where did you hear the song from?
00:33:46.000 Gavin wants to know.
00:33:48.000 Actually, I recorded it a few weeks back when you played it on one of the episodes.
00:33:53.000 Fantastic.
00:33:54.000 Oh, cool.
00:33:56.000 Ryan scrubbed it from the internet.
00:33:59.000 Oh, no, no.
00:33:59.000 It's become my favorite song.
00:34:01.000 I listen to it with my wife daily.
00:34:02.000 How does it go?
00:34:04.000 You want to go up?
00:34:04.000 You should have gone down.
00:34:05.000 How does it go?
00:34:06.000 I'm not going to stoop to your gay levels and sing that fucking song.
00:34:11.000 What?
00:34:13.000 So, another funny thing, my wife is a Puerto Rican woman, a Latino woman, and when I first started really, really getting into your show, she associated you with the Proud Boys, and just assumed because of all the fucking fake bullshit media that you guys were Nazis and racists.
00:34:34.000 In the sense that...
00:34:36.000 You know, I'm not singing on a daily basis, but I've caught her singing the Gavin Mailbag song in the shower, which is pretty awesome.
00:34:46.000 Okay, cool.
00:34:47.000 Thanks for your call.
00:34:49.000 Toodaloo!
00:34:52.000 Ups and downs and lefts and rights and fucking left and right.
00:34:56.000 I like that.
00:34:56.000 You know, pretty cool.
00:34:58.000 He thought I was you.
00:35:00.000 He bought it.
00:35:02.000 Mark is online.
00:35:03.000 Or Peter, rather.
00:35:04.000 Sorry.
00:35:09.000 Peter?
00:35:11.000 I hate Peter.
00:35:14.000 Yo!
00:35:17.000 Hello?
00:35:21.000 JohnnyAppleCBD!
00:35:23.000 Yes.
00:35:24.000 JohnnyAppleCBD has been with us since the very fucking beginning.
00:35:29.000 Support our day one sponsor.
00:35:31.000 This episode is brought to you by our proud boy sponsor.
00:35:34.000 Sorry, our proud sponsor Johnny Apple CBD.
00:35:36.000 Johnny Apple CBD has been with sensor.tv since day one.
00:35:40.000 Go to jacbd.com right now and show them the same support you show us.
00:35:47.000 Even if it's a small purchase.
00:35:49.000 Buy the gummies.
00:35:50.000 Get a tincture.
00:35:51.000 Treat yourself.
00:35:53.000 JACBD.com promo code Gavin, 20% off all orders.
00:35:57.000 Thank you Johnny Apple CBD for sticking with us through COVID, through all this other bullshit.
00:36:03.000 God bless Johnny Apple CBD.
00:36:05.000 God bless America.
00:36:06.000 And remember, there's so much variety with this product.
00:36:10.000 Like the tinctures are great for your coffee.
00:36:12.000 They take the edge off.
00:36:13.000 So you get the high, you get the fucking adrenaline rush from the coffee without the freak out.
00:36:20.000 But I love the topicals.
00:36:23.000 When you have a leg day and your legs kill and you can't walk upstairs.
00:36:27.000 CBD works.
00:36:29.000 I think, I think fucking hemp is a miracle drug.
00:36:32.000 Because these guys took all the illegal shit out of it.
00:36:36.000 They took out the THC and it still works wonders.
00:36:40.000 I'm starting to believe Bob Marley.
00:36:43.000 Because when you put the topicals on your sore muscles, the pain goes away.
00:36:48.000 Why is that?
00:36:49.000 What is it in that shit?
00:36:52.000 Comes from the earth, man.
00:36:53.000 Maybe it's God.
00:36:55.000 Maybe this is God.
00:36:56.000 And we go, hey God, we don't want the high part.
00:37:00.000 It's too crazy.
00:37:01.000 I don't want to get high, I have work to do.
00:37:02.000 And then God went, okay.
00:37:05.000 I'll make you God free.
00:37:09.000 Fucking CBD.
00:37:11.000 We're high free.
00:37:13.000 And it still works.
00:37:15.000 Get it.
00:37:16.000 Got it?
00:37:16.000 Good.
00:37:19.000 So are we parting ways with the freebies?
00:37:22.000 Yeah, who's that?
00:37:23.000 We're 38 minutes in.
00:37:26.000 Oh yeah, let's say that.
00:37:27.000 So, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.