Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - GOML S4E229

00:00:10.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McKinnon!

00:00:33.000 I don't know.

00:00:52.000 I must be on my way.

00:00:54.000 Boy, they're the gift that keeps on giving, aren't they?

00:00:57.000 The pogies.

00:01:19.000 The Pogsters?

00:01:20.000 That's Gentleman Soldier.

00:01:23.000 We don't know who wrote that.

00:01:24.000 It's so old.

00:01:24.000 It goes back to the early 1900s.

00:01:26.000 The Pogues covered it.

00:01:28.000 You'd think that all the Pogue songs are old Irish classics, but Shane wrote a fuckton of them.

00:01:36.000 That's a great song about a woman who is porked by a soldier in a sentry box.

00:01:41.000 That's the sort of box that you... I think it's like where the beefeaters... No, no.

00:01:44.000 Where the guys stand to guard the barracks.

00:01:49.000 And she shagged him.

00:01:52.000 She got pregnant.

00:01:54.000 And he's not going to marry her because though two wives are allowed in the army, one is too many for me.

00:02:02.000 So that poor kid is a bastard son.

00:02:03.000 What do you think of that, Ryan?

00:02:05.000 Sad, but relatable.

00:02:09.000 You know, you would have had trouble relating today.

00:02:11.000 I was at the St.

00:02:13.000 Patrick's Day parade.

00:02:15.000 I can't relate to that.

00:02:16.000 Well, the problem is it's like the Puerto Rican Day parade, but we have no rapes at our parades.

00:02:20.000 I think, I would argue that all of the St.

00:02:23.000 Patrick's Day festivities are worse than, they call it the green tornado in certain, they're like, you got the green tornado tonight?

00:02:29.000 Oh, so having some barf on the street is worse than rape?

00:02:33.000 The cop, ask cops about it.

00:02:34.000 It may be in Boston.

00:02:36.000 I heard, I heard recently that they're like, please do not put me on fucking detail tonight.

00:02:41.000 It's terrible.

00:02:42.000 What's with this dent?

00:02:44.000 Yeah.

00:02:45.000 And I love Italians, but if I had to pick between Irish and Italians, it's Irish all the way.

00:02:49.000 I don't know why.

00:02:50.000 I think I've worked for more Irish people, and they've been sweeter to me.

00:02:53.000 You're working for one right now.

00:02:54.000 Oh yeah, that's right.

00:02:55.000 I consider you Scottish, though.

00:02:56.000 Well, my dad, our name was McGinnis, because my dad's family is Irish.

00:03:02.000 So I'm half Scottish, half Irish, born in England.

00:03:05.000 I think you sort of identify, though, with your formative years.

00:03:08.000 I feel a strong kinship with Canada.

00:03:12.000 And with America, I've been here, I think, most of my life now.

00:03:16.000 But I'm still not quite American.

00:03:18.000 Like my son is waiting to see if he's on junior varsity, or varsity would be ideal, or freshman would suck.

00:03:26.000 And I'm like, what is varsity?

00:03:28.000 And she's like, what?

00:03:30.000 And I go, it's a baseball team.

00:03:31.000 It's a high school baseball team.

00:03:33.000 Yes.

00:03:35.000 And he's young though, right?

00:03:37.000 He's not even in high school.

00:03:39.000 Right, but he's very good, so he could be called up.

00:03:42.000 Oh, I see.

00:03:43.000 I'm like, oh, okay.

00:03:44.000 Well, I'm just learning that now, too.

00:03:45.000 But is it freshmen in it?

00:03:47.000 She goes, no, most high school teams are juniors and seniors.

00:03:50.000 And I'm like, so junior is not the first year of high school?

00:03:55.000 No, that's freshmen, then sophomore.

00:03:56.000 Oh, you didn't know that?

00:03:57.000 I didn't know that.

00:03:58.000 Oh, wow.

00:03:58.000 Freshmen, we don't have that in Canada.

00:04:00.000 What are they called, first yearsmen?

00:04:02.000 You're in grade 10, eh?

00:04:04.000 Grade 10.

00:04:05.000 Grade 9.

00:04:06.000 Actually, I can't even remember high school.

00:04:08.000 Yeah, I think it starts in grade 9.

00:04:09.000 Grade 9, grade 10, grade 11, grade 12, grade 13.

00:04:13.000 Yep.

00:04:14.000 Oh, wow.

00:04:14.000 Yeah, we just have 9 and 12.

00:04:15.000 I skipped them, though.

00:04:16.000 I did summer school.

00:04:17.000 It was called the Fast Tracker program.

00:04:19.000 Got out of there.

00:04:20.000 The lucky boys.

00:04:21.000 So I don't know what I am, but I know I'm at least, I know there's Irish in there, I can feel it every time I have a fork and drink fork.

00:04:28.000 I have a terrible memory, but I remember working at Rambler's Rest on 208 in Monroe, and I went in there and Brita, they're all from Ireland, Irish, and it was St.

00:04:37.000 Paddy's Day, so I had to wear a green shirt, and she's like, you look good in green.

00:04:40.000 And I was like,

00:04:42.000 Thanks.

00:04:42.000 Did she try to rape you?

00:04:44.000 No, she was like old but just sweet.

00:04:46.000 And then later on the guy, the real tough guy, Oliver, who didn't listen to music, he had a Porsche, he had a Rolex, he was a badass.

00:04:54.000 Always wore a suit.

00:04:55.000 I didn't know it was cool not to listen to music.

00:04:57.000 That's how like business guy he is.

00:04:59.000 He's like, he has no time for any bullshit.

00:05:01.000 No bullshit.

00:05:02.000 Can it be on in the background?

00:05:04.000 Like what about when you're driving?

00:05:05.000 What are you listening to?

00:05:05.000 He said nothing.

00:05:07.000 Self-help tapes?

00:05:08.000 What's on in the car?

00:05:10.000 People being murdered on cassette?

00:05:12.000 Yeah.

00:05:12.000 Him, he's just a guy that doesn't listen to music so he's a very intense guy and after a really tough day he was like, he did good today, good lad.

00:05:19.000 And I was like, I'm a good lad.

00:05:22.000 Nice.

00:05:22.000 That feels good.

00:05:23.000 If you want some more compliments from an Irishman, I gotta say, I felt kind of gay towards you recently.

00:05:30.000 I make fun of you for saying you can play guitar better than Hendrix, but that video I saw of you jamming out, I was like, this guy's fucking insanely good and I can see why women find him attractive.

00:05:43.000 Dude, thank you.

00:05:45.000 Like you were shredding.

00:05:46.000 Actually, we have the video here.

00:05:48.000 1-1.

00:05:48.000 I was pulling up one of my own.

00:05:50.000 It's the first video.

00:05:51.000 Okay.

00:05:52.000 Look at the way he just sort of becomes the guitar.

00:05:55.000 He gets so into it.

00:05:58.000 It's like he gnarls himself up and becomes the instrument.

00:06:01.000 All right, cool.

00:06:01.000 Let's see what clip you picked, because I got a couple I could show you afterwards.

00:06:04.000 Well, this, I think, is the best one.

00:06:05.000 Oh.

00:06:10.000 What song is this you're playing?

00:06:16.000 It's good, man.

00:06:20.000 Oh, nice!

00:06:24.000 And back to shredding!

00:06:27.000 Why do you, uh, do... Is that, like, your guitar chair?

00:06:32.000 Oh, kind of surf rock.

00:06:37.000 Anyway, that was pretty cool.

00:06:39.000 Uh, let's show some of the clips from today, because I have a new fear.

00:06:46.000 My new fear is that high school bands are starting to suck.

00:06:50.000 Here's what I learned from St.

00:06:51.000 Patrick's Day Parade.

00:06:52.000 White culture is awesome.

00:06:53.000 There's no rapes.

00:06:54.000 There's rumors of barf.

00:06:55.000 I didn't see any barf.

00:06:57.000 Just proud people being very well organized and decent.

00:07:00.000 You think of the chaos that is like the Trinidad and Tobago, the Caribbean Day Parade.

00:07:06.000 It's just rape and violence and death and chaos.

00:07:10.000 And then you think of the Puerto Rican Day Parade.

00:07:12.000 More rape, more chaos.

00:07:13.000 And then the fucking St.

00:07:15.000 Patrick's Day parade, just single file.

00:07:17.000 Other groups want to be in it?

00:07:18.000 Well, you gotta wait.

00:07:20.000 And then they come in, and it's all very well organized, perfect, regimented.

00:07:27.000 But I will say, I don't know who's in charge of that shit, but guys, maybe slow down on the invites.

00:07:33.000 Like at one point there was some bank, UCE Bank, and they just get little sashes and they get to be in it.

00:07:39.000 I was telling my family, I'm like, don't wave to them.

00:07:42.000 You only wave to people who have costumes on, uniforms, bagpipes, like are part of a parade.

00:07:47.000 You don't just get to fucking show up in a sweater.

00:07:49.000 Hi, I live in Breezy Point.

00:07:51.000 That's nice, fuck you.

00:07:54.000 By the way, I don't know if I ever told you guys the truth about Breezy Point.

00:07:57.000 Remember I did a week of shows from Breezy?

00:08:00.000 I was in my house.

00:08:03.000 I didn't get into breezy point they you need it's a cop town and it's all there's white people Trump people it's and it's in Queens it's at the bottom of the Brooklyn really it's on the beach it is a beach and I got in there because all the cops love me but the board rejected my application after I had given all my money 14 grand to rent a house for a month and they said we can't afford the risk of

00:08:29.000 You know, blowing up our spot.

00:08:32.000 So fuck you.

00:08:32.000 You're done.

00:08:34.000 So to punish them, I bought a bunch of breezy gear and I pretended I was there to ruin their reputation.

00:08:39.000 So I hate breezy point, even though it's one of the best places in the world.

00:08:42.000 So I was giving them the finger.

00:08:43.000 But anyway, a lot of people just regular Joes.

00:08:47.000 And then I was listening to some of the bands and I'm like, I never said this before, but you suck.

00:08:55.000 You're not good.

00:08:56.000 The drums weren't synced.

00:08:58.000 And then it was, when it was time for the horns, whether it was like fucking Star Spangled Banner or whatever, some, you know, band song, Louis Louis, it could have been, I couldn't hear the horns and they were off sync.

00:09:11.000 And I started thinking, and this is just a theory folks,

00:09:14.000 I started thinking, is it possible that high school bands are starting to suck because we don't have discipline?

00:09:19.000 Like, remember that movie about the drummer?

00:09:21.000 And it was the guy from the Allstate ads?

00:09:25.000 And his fingers were bleeding and he had to keep playing and it was like all this discipline.

00:09:28.000 I mean, it takes a lot of discipline to be really good at sports, being in a band, being a chef.

00:09:34.000 You need to abuse those people in those groups.

00:09:36.000 But you're not allowed to do it anymore.

00:09:38.000 And now they suck.

00:09:41.000 Maybe.

00:09:42.000 There was a lot and I've I heard like my wife sent me a video of one of our kids his school band he's only 10 at the time but they were doing something simple like jingle bells and I'm listening to going not good like you shouldn't have you shouldn't have showed the parents this you should be embarrassed look Proud Boys oh yeah they had their own battalion

00:10:06.000 Lots of people from Westchester.

00:10:08.000 I recognize Terry, our buddy.

00:10:10.000 I used to call him Matty as a retard.

00:10:12.000 Just kidding, Terry.

00:10:14.000 He was carrying some big IRA flag.

00:10:16.000 But there was Pelham representing, Mount Vernon representing, Bronx, Yonkers.

00:10:22.000 You know my grandmother would get so mad at these.

00:10:26.000 Because she hates when Irish wear kilts.

00:10:29.000 That's not their culture!

00:10:31.000 There is Irish... A kilt is for a Scotch.

00:10:35.000 When you see these Irish walking around, they're like the pigs of Doggerty.

00:10:39.000 Fuck, she hated the Irish.

00:10:40.000 That's why she was so mad my mom married my dad.

00:10:46.000 Irish scum.

00:10:47.000 Show the videos.

00:10:49.000 I already showed that one.

00:10:51.000 So there's a lot of stoppage because they over invited everyone.

00:10:54.000 So you got all these guys waiting for that's the Fifth Avenue is the linear part, right?

00:10:58.000 But then to get into Fifth Avenue, you don't want to start at the bottom.

00:11:01.000 You start on like 42nd Street, 43rd, 44th, 45th, 46th and you merge.

00:11:06.000 But in order to merge, we need to open up a gap.

00:11:08.000 So there's all these people waiting on the east-west streets for access to the main parade on 5th Avenue, which it starts at 11 a.m.

00:11:16.000 on 42nd, ends up in Harlem, but it was just constantly stop and go.

00:11:21.000 So even if you show up late, which I did, I think we were there at like one, three hours after it started, there's still more in parade than you need.

00:11:30.000 Like after we watched the parade for like an hour, I'm like, all right, I think we got it.

00:11:35.000 Bunch of bagpipes.

00:11:36.000 Show the videos!

00:11:40.000 What are you doing, dude?

00:11:43.000 Those were the cool Scotsmen.

00:11:45.000 That's how real Scotsmen dressed.

00:11:47.000 I think the Irish wear green kilts.

00:11:49.000 It's sort of like, can we try to be your thing?

00:11:50.000 Okay, I guess.

00:11:53.000 Well, the kilts were adopted by the British Army.

00:11:57.000 And I think probably spread to Ireland, too.

00:12:00.000 Wow, thanks for your history lesson, guy-making-shit-up-as-he-goes.

00:12:03.000 No, do you know what type it was?

00:12:04.000 That's the Black Watch tartan.

00:12:05.000 That's why it's so controversial.

00:12:08.000 Because people say it's like a bastardized tartan that's not really Scottish.

00:12:12.000 Right.

00:12:12.000 But then some people say, no, no, no, it's legit.

00:12:15.000 No, it's not.

00:12:16.000 Look at these guys rocking out.

00:12:19.000 See, this is the old day, and it was funny seeing Gen X and Boomers doing their bands, because they were so much better.

00:12:23.000 Now, obviously, they've been playing their instruments longer.

00:12:25.000 But look at these guys!

00:12:26.000 I'm not clapping for you.

00:12:29.000 Why?

00:12:30.000 You're just guys!

00:12:33.000 Like at least be all wearing the same thing or something.

00:12:35.000 What are you in a parade for?

00:12:37.000 Cause you have a cable knit sweater?

00:12:39.000 My wife was like, I love your sweater!

00:12:42.000 That was my outfit.

00:12:45.000 Like that guy's fucking, is that a considered a mustache?

00:12:49.000 He's really pushing the boundaries of what a mustache is.

00:12:51.000 There was some great facial hair at this thing.

00:12:54.000 And again, zero rapes.

00:12:56.000 Wait, do I know that guy?

00:12:59.000 That looks like Tim Sullivan.

00:13:02.000 Not even kidding.

00:13:03.000 Does that say, what county in New York?

00:13:05.000 I don't know, I can't really read it.

00:13:07.000 Is that fuckin' a guy I know?

00:13:10.000 Is that Orange County, New York?

00:13:11.000 Yeah.

00:13:11.000 Yeah, that's fuckin' Tim Sullivan.

00:13:12.000 That's my buddy's dad.

00:13:14.000 He passed away.

00:13:15.000 Really?

00:13:15.000 Yeah.

00:13:15.000 He passed away?

00:13:16.000 His son passed away.

00:13:17.000 Oh, okay.

00:13:18.000 Tragically, and he's a fuckin' awesome guy.

00:13:19.000 Is that the guy you have a tattoo of?

00:13:20.000 No, no, no, that's my friend Larry.

00:13:21.000 My friend Tim passed away because he had heart problems for all these years and beat him for years and years and years.

00:13:26.000 Oh, I remember that guy.

00:13:27.000 You were talking about that guy.

00:13:29.000 That's crazy.

00:13:31.000 I was worried you were saying he died, because I took this picture about four hours ago.

00:13:33.000 And you have, like, literally a lone picture of just him.

00:13:36.000 Well, it was his stash.

00:13:38.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:13:39.000 Wow, I gotta tell him.

00:13:40.000 He would love that.

00:13:41.000 I think he'd be a fan of yours.

00:13:44.000 See, that's how you wear Scottish gear.

00:13:48.000 God bless America.

00:13:48.000 See, now I'm clapping for this.

00:13:51.000 You got a song together, you're all synchronized, the drums are on point, your outfits look great.

00:13:58.000 Yeah, the AOH that he works for is like a bunch of punk shows and rock shows and a bunch of other shows.

00:14:03.000 Okay.

00:14:04.000 They rock and roll.

00:14:05.000 This is a, that's Terry in the, in the far, far left.

00:14:09.000 Big Celtics fan.

00:14:10.000 He looks just like Matty.

00:14:12.000 Oh wow.

00:14:12.000 He doesn't drink anymore, but when he drank, he was a problem.

00:14:17.000 Um, but that's a big like IRA founder.

00:14:20.000 What's his name now?

00:14:22.000 Matty texted me.

00:14:25.000 Uh,

00:14:27.000 He looks like a slightly melted Matty.

00:14:29.000 Sean McDearmata.

00:14:35.000 I kept yelling his name.

00:14:35.000 He didn't look around for about a minute.

00:14:41.000 Oh yeah, this was annoying too.

00:14:43.000 Speaking of wokeism ruining everything, that's the Boy Scouts.

00:14:46.000 Look at the far left there.

00:14:48.000 That's a big ugly chick.

00:14:49.000 What a schlumpy group of nobodies.

00:14:52.000 Well, it was all spazzes.

00:14:54.000 It was all like autistic dudes.

00:14:56.000 That's all that's left since the women ruined the Boy Scouts.

00:14:59.000 That dude in the red there with the RCMP hat, he's like, you could tell he was a real deal scout, probably an Eagle Scout in the 70s.

00:15:07.000 And he's probably been, you know, helping boys become men for decades.

00:15:11.000 And now look at that pathetic turnout.

00:15:14.000 And that dude with the flag, I don't know, I waved to him and he's like, hello!

00:15:17.000 He seemed a little... What do they call that show, Dating on the Spectrum on Netflix?

00:15:23.000 He seemed a little special.

00:15:25.000 So, way to go, ladies!

00:15:27.000 You ruined the Boy Scouts, thank you for that.

00:15:31.000 Alright, I guess we're getting the idea, right?

00:15:32.000 Is that all the vids?

00:15:33.000 The boys are having downs.

00:15:37.000 That guy knew the people we were with.

00:15:39.000 I'm gonna bring back spats.

00:15:41.000 Nice spats.

00:15:43.000 Is that the MacDonald Tartan?

00:15:47.000 Don't get your joke.

00:15:49.000 I think it literally is the MacDonald Tartan.

00:15:51.000 Oh, okay.

00:15:52.000 Alright, should we end this?

00:15:52.000 Are we showing everyone what's going on?

00:15:55.000 Fuck you, bitches.

00:15:56.000 These are probably the same bitches that cancelled my application.

00:16:00.000 Oh, yeah, they look angry.

00:16:01.000 Yeah.

00:16:02.000 Look at that one on the left.

00:16:03.000 Meanwhile, he's looking for you.

00:16:05.000 That same summer, someone vandalized one of the pews, one of the beach resorts with swastikas and talked with the Jew owners.

00:16:15.000 There is a Jewish country club down there.

00:16:17.000 Everything's affordable, of course.

00:16:19.000 And Cuomo was so mad about it because he thought it was Proud Boys.

00:16:23.000 He probably heard that I was trying to apply there.

00:16:26.000 And he was like, yes, let's get the Proud Boys doing their swastika shit.

00:16:30.000 Of course it turned out to be a black chick.

00:16:33.000 Who was pissed?

00:16:35.000 Go back.

00:16:35.000 We went to St.

00:16:35.000 Patrick's Cathedral where our own Eddie, the cop, the guy who was wearing the bud hat here on one of the cops and robbers shows,

00:16:45.000 He guards St.

00:16:47.000 Patrick's Cathedral.

00:16:48.000 He's working in the basement, so I couldn't see him when we were there.

00:16:50.000 Look how fucking beautiful it is.

00:16:52.000 Here's something racist.

00:16:53.000 Have you noticed the whiter the religion, the nicer the church?

00:16:59.000 We know St.

00:16:59.000 Patrick, of course, is the guy who went to Ireland and stopped all the pagans from being mud-eating pigs and taught them real civilization.

00:17:06.000 I think he even got rid of some snakes, too, while he was there.

00:17:10.000 Okay, we're gonna make Jesus's birthday your Sun God day, and you can keep Halloween.

00:17:15.000 You can worship a tree at Christmas too, that's fine.

00:17:18.000 But otherwise, you gotta be Christian now.

00:17:20.000 Okay.

00:17:21.000 Thanks for getting us out of the Dark Ages.

00:17:23.000 I think it was the year 400 or so that St.

00:17:27.000 Patrick invaded Ireland and successfully converted them.

00:17:31.000 It didn't work so well in North America with the Indians.

00:17:33.000 That took a few more hundred years to do.

00:17:36.000 Oh, looking up some stats on arrests here for the various parades.

00:17:40.000 You know what's crazy about Eddie though?

00:17:42.000 The guy with the butt hat?

00:17:43.000 I showed him to John last night, John the cop who comes in.

00:17:46.000 He goes, I know Eddie, I used to jump off his shoulders into the pool.

00:17:50.000 And I go, Eddie, one of the cops we have here, another Bronx cop, used to jump off your shoulders.

00:17:54.000 And he's like, yep, true story.

00:17:56.000 Damn.

00:17:57.000 Isn't that weird?

00:18:00.000 Um, so.

00:18:03.000 In Rochester, there were 20 arrests at the Puerto Rican Day Festival.

00:18:06.000 That was... And Rochester, New York is like 10 minutes from Canada.

00:18:11.000 That's how rural we are.

00:18:13.000 So now let's go to New York City, but this is in 2007.

00:18:16.000 208 people arrested at the Puerto Rican Day Parade after reports that Latin gang, Latin kings planned to join the parade.

00:18:23.000 Several arrests had simply been swept up with the crowd, denied having any gang associates.

00:18:26.000 So they were kind of just grabbing them just in case they were

00:18:29.000 Oh yeah, remember we had that political, that municipal politician under de Blasio who brought on a Puerto Rican terrorist who had killed people.

00:18:39.000 He just got out of jail.

00:18:41.000 He was a Puerto Rican separatist.

00:18:44.000 He just got out of jail and he was in a parade with the cops.

00:18:46.000 Hi!

00:18:48.000 I've killed people hi that's not cool no it's not so look there's a bunch of out of the 200 or whatever arrested there's a bunch of gang members so yeah that's that's a lot but I there were 308 at the st.

00:19:04.000 Patrick's Day parade this is last year so 2008 208

00:19:10.000 Last year, 381 people arrested for DWI, 754 tickets.

00:19:13.000 Yeah, Ryan, what other scoops do you have?

00:19:17.000 Is water wet?

00:19:18.000 I'm just saying.

00:19:19.000 Is the sky blue?

00:19:21.000 The claim that it's a less rowdy parade, I think, is inaccurate.

00:19:25.000 Who said?

00:19:26.000 Wait, I thought you were just showing me Puerto Rican Day parade things.

00:19:29.000 No.

00:19:30.000 The second one was St.

00:19:30.000 Paddy's.

00:19:32.000 Oh, okay, I'm sorry.

00:19:32.000 So what was that again?

00:19:34.000 Uh, the St.

00:19:35.000 Paddy's beats out Puerto Rican Day Parade by arrests and tickets.

00:19:39.000 Last year.

00:19:41.000 If you look for last year Puerto Rican Day Parade, there's none, there's no arrests.

00:19:44.000 I had to go back to 2007, where there was a possible gang Latin Kings thing, so they just arrested people thinking that they could have- Well, maybe that's because they basically shut it down, because it was so fucking dangerous, and now it's a mere shadow of what it once was.

00:19:59.000 And the St.

00:20:00.000 Patrick's Day Parade is monstrous.

00:20:03.000 So by the sheer number of people involved, yeah, you're gonna get more arrests, but per capita, the Puerto Rican Day Parade is a fucking nightmare.

00:20:11.000 Almost as bad as the Caribbean Day Parade.

00:20:12.000 And again, talk to cops.

00:20:13.000 By the way, my kid wanted to go to the MLB store over by Radio City Music Hall, but we had to cross Fifth Avenue.

00:20:20.000 Fuck, we can't cross Fifth Avenue, it's a parade.

00:20:22.000 And I thought, I'll just ask this cop.

00:20:24.000 I go, hey, can I, is it ever possible to cross?

00:20:27.000 And he goes,

00:20:28.000 Oh, yeah, only because I recognize you.

00:20:29.000 Come on.

00:20:30.000 Police escort.

00:20:31.000 Cool.

00:20:31.000 Across the fucking parade.

00:20:35.000 My wife took a picture of that, too.

00:20:37.000 Just so you know, I'm not lying.

00:20:40.000 Uh, we're all nervous at the McInnes household because, um...

00:20:47.000 Have you seen a drop?

00:20:47.000 Because the baseball got that cop pick.

00:20:50.000 I feel like there is a drop in the pride in being Irish generationally.

00:20:57.000 Whereas blacks and Puerto Ricans, the pride couldn't be stronger in modern day.

00:21:02.000 But the generational pride has kind of withered through younger folks.

00:21:05.000 All right, let's not talk about this anymore.

00:21:06.000 It's getting boring.

00:21:09.000 The Chicago Cubs have a mascot who has a beautiful cock.

00:21:14.000 And I appreciate this.

00:21:16.000 A lot of our more conservative viewers are probably like, oh, fuck that.

00:21:19.000 That's gross.

00:21:21.000 I don't want to see, I don't want kids exposed to genitalia.

00:21:23.000 Genitalia is a perfectly natural part of a human being.

00:21:26.000 And if you have a problem with that, you have a problem with the human body.

00:21:28.000 If you have a problem with the human body, you have a problem with what God created.

00:21:31.000 So I have no problem with nudity and I'd like to see it on mascots.

00:21:35.000 Oh my goodness.

00:21:57.000 This is before I worked for you.

00:22:00.000 Who did that?

00:22:03.000 Whoever did that is fired and awesome at the same time.

00:22:07.000 I'm not gonna stand here and let you badmouth the cock of the Cubs.

00:22:11.000 It's a nice cock, too.

00:22:14.000 Who knew baby bears have such gorgeous dicks?

00:22:17.000 I think he shaves, because there's a little stubble.

00:22:20.000 Yeah, he shaves.

00:22:21.000 Jump Medic is a great company specializing in first aid kits and first aid supplies.

00:22:24.000 They have a few different products, but I'd like to focus on the Jump Medic Pro.

00:22:28.000 Now, here, there's an emergency going on.

00:22:31.000 Someone's been hurt, right?

00:22:33.000 I gotta get to all of my stuff in here quickly.

00:22:36.000 Look at this, we got the flashlight on the outside, we got the letter on the outside.

00:22:39.000 So all you do in your emergency situation is grab it, pull it open, and boom.

00:22:48.000 Chillo, you've got a stuff.

00:22:50.000 Chillo, you've got a stuff.

00:22:53.000 Look how easy that is to access every single thing in the bag.

00:23:00.000 The Jump Medic Pro contains two world-class first aid bags.

00:23:04.000 The larger flat lay, this is what we got here, the larger one.

00:23:07.000 First aid bag comes stocked with nine pounds of first aid equipment.

00:23:09.000 It's got bandages, sutures, medications, a flashlight, medical tape, blood pressure cuff.

00:23:15.000 A glucose meter, shears, and much more.

00:23:17.000 You really have to go to their website to see the list of everything this kit comes with.

00:23:20.000 It also comes with a smaller bag, which is just as durable, with the same flat lay design.

00:23:24.000 You should have the smaller bag in your car.

00:23:25.000 You should have this in your house.

00:23:27.000 And if you're going hunting, you should definitely have both available.

00:23:32.000 If you're going to a riot, you're gonna need it too.

00:23:35.000 The smaller bag is perfect to fill up with supplies to take when you're out hunting, biking, roller skating, doing taxidermy, doing parkour, rollerblading, wakeboarding, hitchhiking, attending a model train convention, or anything else to put you at risk while you're on the go.

00:23:49.000 People send me emails, can JumpMedic do this or that?

00:23:51.000 Don't send me emails about these products.

00:23:53.000 Yes, JumpMedic can probably include whatever you want.

00:23:54.000 Actually, we got an interesting email about JumpMedic where someone was like, hey man, has it got Narcan and does it have the thing that you use to puncture the throat to breathe out of that?

00:24:09.000 And I talked to them and they go,

00:24:13.000 It doesn't include anything that you need a license for.

00:24:15.000 Like that whole puncturing the throat thing, that is super advanced stuff that you need training for.

00:24:20.000 This is more of an amateur's kit that has your basics.

00:24:25.000 But they don't want to be liable by including something that you need a specific license to be able to use.

00:24:33.000 They also have the Jump Medic Elite.

00:24:34.000 I'll mention that in the letters page too.

00:24:36.000 Remind me of that.

00:24:38.000 Okay?

00:24:38.000 Because I know I'm not getting the specifics right.

00:24:44.000 JumpMedic is getting a shout-out during the letters page.

00:24:49.000 JumpMedic can... blah blah blah.

00:24:51.000 They also have the JumpMedic Elite, which contains so much stuff that I can't really get into it.

00:24:54.000 It's great for police officers, paramedics, and emergency workers.

00:24:58.000 All of the JumpMedic Pro... See, I'm reading this where it crops the sentence in half.

00:25:04.000 If you want to support this great company but aren't in the market for a full-on first aid kit, check out their refill packages.

00:25:09.000 Everyone needs bandages and medications, so get it from Jump Medic.

00:25:12.000 If you don't have a first aid kit, or even if you do, this is a great product, possibly the most comprehensive first aid kit at this price that is currently on the market.

00:25:19.000 Go to jumpmedic.com, enter promo code RyanSucks, or you'll have to pretend you didn't see that video of him shredding when you put in the promo code.

00:25:29.000 Or, I think Gavin works also.

00:25:32.000 I think Ryan sucks is fine.

00:25:35.000 Gavin's also good.

00:25:38.000 Make sure that Ryan sucks is one word for 10% off.

00:25:41.000 If that promo code offends you Gavin, well no.

00:25:44.000 Don't use the promo code Gavin.

00:25:46.000 It's not true.

00:25:46.000 I heard it gives you more percents off.

00:25:48.000 It's not as true.

00:25:51.000 So that's fun.

00:25:53.000 We'll keep that over there.

00:25:56.000 What else is in the important news besides Bear's dicks?

00:26:01.000 Bears, dicks!

00:26:05.000 Oh, I saw this post.

00:26:07.000 Someone is really proud of being spit-roasted.

00:26:10.000 She's got a polyamorous relationship, 1-3.

00:26:15.000 POV, you told your boyfriends about each other and now you're all getting married.

00:26:20.000 Let's just keep smiling through this shit.

00:26:25.000 Wouldn't it be funny too if I was wrong and this is a beautiful, loving relationship that lasts forever?

00:26:33.000 And I'm 90 and they're 70 and they're like, remember when Gavin said it wouldn't last?

00:26:40.000 Notice the Bible has an upside down cross.

00:26:42.000 Oh, yeah.

00:26:43.000 How, how perfect.

00:26:45.000 We don't, okay.

00:26:46.000 So it's an upside down cross.

00:26:47.000 So Christianity is disgusting and stupid.

00:26:50.000 Your idea of marriage sucks.

00:26:51.000 Right.

00:26:52.000 Okay.

00:26:53.000 So maybe.

00:26:54.000 Great.

00:26:54.000 Tear me a new ass.

00:26:56.000 Let's, uh, let's check back in with you in not 20 years, not 10 years, one year.

00:27:04.000 Can we keep tabs on this beautiful, loving, polyamorous relationship for one year?

00:27:09.000 How many times have you heard of someone in this scenario?

00:27:12.000 I have kind of a weirder background, alternative background, so I've probably come across this more than you, and I've come across it about three or four times.

00:27:22.000 It is always, without exception, an absolute catastrophe, including, I knew a dude who had two girlfriends.

00:27:31.000 They all lived together.

00:27:32.000 And he would come home, they'd be 60-nining and scissoring and whatever you want.

00:27:37.000 They all went insane.

00:27:39.000 It's not normal for a reason.

00:27:42.000 We've tried this shit before.

00:27:43.000 Is that a dick on his shoulder, or is he just happy to see me?

00:27:47.000 I don't know, but his leather jacket's made of, like, garbage bags.

00:27:50.000 What the fuck?

00:27:51.000 So is his philosophy.

00:27:54.000 I like how they use Christian, you know, a Christian sacrament of marriage to shit on it.

00:27:59.000 Yeah, yeah, good point.

00:27:59.000 It's like, why don't you make something?

00:28:01.000 Ha ha, we don't need your Christianity.

00:28:02.000 Well, we like the marriage part, the gowns and everything, but the other stuff, go fuck yourself, loser nerds.

00:28:09.000 You guys are such nerds getting married.

00:28:11.000 Anyway, we're getting married.

00:28:12.000 Here's a good question.

00:28:13.000 Do cultures all over the world do the wedding ring?

00:28:17.000 Like Japan, do they do that?

00:28:19.000 Oh, you gotta see, modern Japanese weddings are the same as ours.

00:28:24.000 All of Asia has basically taken over our weddings.

00:28:28.000 With the bridal gown.

00:28:29.000 There's twists and turns, but the bridal gown, the tuxedo.

00:28:32.000 That's interesting.

00:28:34.000 We nailed it.

00:28:35.000 Just like we did with Christianity.

00:28:37.000 When we met those pagan savages in Ireland, we said, no, we're not doing sun gods anymore.

00:28:44.000 Even these guys cutting cake.

00:28:47.000 Whatever this is.

00:28:48.000 Zambian?

00:28:50.000 That's called a mistake.

00:28:54.000 Again, we'll check in in a year.

00:28:57.000 Okay, I've been meaning to get this.

00:28:59.000 I got a great green screen because I had this epiphany this week that the more villainous someone is portrayed, the more awesome they are.

00:29:08.000 And I know the worst people in America, Jared Taylor, Anthony Cumia, Alex Jones, Nick Fuentes.

00:29:14.000 I know satanic monsters.

00:29:17.000 And the more you've heard they're evil, the more fun they are to hang out with.

00:29:23.000 So I'm gonna break that down in a very deep dive away, but before we get to that, I wanna talk about Dylan Mulvaney.

00:29:32.000 And I saw this, speaking of evil people who are brimming with hate, I saw this tweet from Anthony Cumia, where he goes, this guy's just a fag, that's all.

00:29:42.000 It's very simple.

00:29:44.000 This is not a woman.

00:29:46.000 If this is a woman, why is she acting like a gay man?

00:29:51.000 And like, try to think of all the women you've ever met, your sister's friends, your mom, all of these chicks, and imagine a woman acting like this.

00:30:00.000 You'd think she's a mental patient.

00:30:02.000 If a fag acted like this, you'd be like, oh yeah, this is a gay dude who's excited about something.

00:30:07.000 But a woman?

00:30:09.000 Never.

00:30:10.000 It's day 364 of being a girl and we've just arrived at the Rainbow Room for my big rehearsal for the show tomorrow.

00:30:16.000 Let's go!

00:30:17.000 I'm here in my dressing room, and here's some of my merch.

00:30:20.000 And right when the show starts at 8 o'clock, I will come out in my opening gown.

00:30:26.000 Show me a woman!

00:30:28.000 Like, Ryan, imagine this was your wife.

00:30:30.000 You'd be like, are you on crack?

00:30:32.000 I think I would think speed or crack.

00:30:33.000 Yeah, what's the matter?

00:30:34.000 Honey, are you okay?

00:30:36.000 Or like, hey, hey, babe, breathe.

00:30:40.000 Breathe.

00:30:41.000 Calm down.

00:30:42.000 I'm fine.

00:30:42.000 No, no, no.

00:30:43.000 I don't know what the hell.

00:30:44.000 Crackers!

00:30:45.000 Who wants crackers?

00:30:46.000 Someone drugged you.

00:30:47.000 No, I'm fine.

00:30:48.000 Here is what's going on.

00:30:49.000 Come over here.

00:30:50.000 You've got to see this, Ryan.

00:30:51.000 It's amazing!

00:30:54.000 Like, someone drugged you.

00:30:56.000 A baby monster tweeted me a really good point.

00:30:58.000 They were like, this is the guy that did Book of Mormon.

00:31:01.000 Oh yeah, well I'm gonna get to that.

00:31:03.000 Not specifically the Book of Mormon, but I have footage of him as a normal gay lord.

00:31:07.000 And again, we don't hate gays, we just think they're silly.

00:31:10.000 They're like leprechauns.

00:31:13.000 Well hello, how you doing?

00:31:14.000 Yeah, they're just American leprechauns.

00:31:17.000 Is that the title of the show?

00:31:18.000 It certainly is.

00:31:21.000 You can see it from a mile away, frankly.

00:31:24.000 Somebody said that this could be, this would be great if it was, I doubt it, Matt and Trey's prank on the world.

00:31:32.000 Sure, he's gay, right?

00:31:33.000 He's actually gay, but all of this stuff skyrocketing to fame is like a prank that they're playing on the world.

00:31:39.000 So he works for Matt and Trey?

00:31:40.000 Did they pay him?

00:31:41.000 He was in Book of Mormon.

00:31:43.000 Oh!

00:31:45.000 If this is Matt and Trey playing a prank on Earth, I'm gonna blow Trey, because he's the gay one, for so long I'm gonna need my stomach pumped.

00:31:57.000 So long that Matt'll feel bad and like tag himself in.

00:32:00.000 Okay, let's make a pact.

00:32:01.000 If this is a prank that Matt and Trey put together, we are both getting a tattoo that says M.T.

00:32:09.000 That's fun.

00:32:10.000 It won't be like on our necks.

00:32:12.000 It'll be like this big, small.

00:32:13.000 But somewhere on my body, I'll be getting a tattoo I designed that combines a T and an M. I like it.

00:32:21.000 I forgot who pointed that out.

00:32:22.000 If this is you two guys, I hereby stand and salute you for a fantastic

00:32:30.000 You've had Joe, he's talked to Joe Biden!

00:32:33.000 Yeah, yeah, he's done everything.

00:32:35.000 He had, we're about to show this.

00:32:36.000 Drew Barrymore praying to him like he's Jesus Christ.

00:32:39.000 I think she washed his feet with her hair.

00:32:44.000 But anyway, let's see this ridiculous crackhead show us what he's doing, what is happening here.

00:32:48.000 So keep that gag in mind.

00:32:50.000 Okay.

00:32:50.000 It's hard not to see it.

00:32:51.000 Please, please God.

00:32:53.000 My big entrance.

00:32:54.000 Looking over the balcony to all of the people in the cameras.

00:32:58.000 And then during the opening number, I just set the staircase.

00:33:01.000 Is this legal?

00:33:02.000 I wonder, like Biden is throwing people in jail for farting on a Wednesday.

00:33:06.000 Like that, that Ricky Vaughn is looking at jail time for a rude tweet.

00:33:09.000 So I wouldn't be surprised if he comes out going, yeah, I'm just fucking around.

00:33:12.000 I'm just a homo.

00:33:15.000 The headline in the New York Post front page, I'm just a fag.

00:33:21.000 Oh shit that might be a better title.

00:33:23.000 I'm just a sweet transvestite.

00:33:25.000 I'm just a fag.

00:33:29.000 And we're all waiting in anticipation for him to give up the bit.

00:33:34.000 Dude I could see him getting charged for like fraudulent entry to the White House or something.

00:33:38.000 I can see this happening like every movie where like there's an undercover person trying to get a scoop on the main guy.

00:33:43.000 They feel bad and actually fall in love and they're actually, and he turns around.

00:33:47.000 Are you falling in love with Dylan Mulvaney?

00:33:49.000 No.

00:33:50.000 He falls in love with everybody, like Drew Barrymore.

00:33:52.000 He's like, I can't keep this up anymore.

00:33:54.000 She's so nice.

00:33:55.000 I feel bad.

00:33:55.000 Oh, I could see, yeah, I could see him having a meeting with Matt and Trey and going, I have some bad news.

00:34:00.000 Yeah.

00:34:01.000 I'm in.

00:34:01.000 What do you mean you're in?

00:34:02.000 No, like I'm never out.

00:34:04.000 What are you talking about?

00:34:05.000 We're going to announce it like we agreed on September 3rd.

00:34:08.000 It's like, no we're not.

00:34:09.000 And he has dirt on all of them.

00:34:10.000 I'm going to deny it.

00:34:11.000 I'm going to deny it and also tell people that we fuck Trey.

00:34:14.000 What do you do?

00:34:15.000 We spent so much money on this gag.

00:34:17.000 I love it here.

00:34:18.000 I want to live here.

00:34:20.000 You're not a woman, Dylan.

00:34:21.000 This is a prank you're in.

00:34:23.000 Not anymore.

00:34:24.000 And he belches.

00:34:28.000 Yeah, he does.

00:34:29.000 Here it is.

00:34:30.000 Joe Exotic, infamous troll parody.

00:34:32.000 He actually got the handle Joe Exotic.

00:34:35.000 Good for you.

00:34:36.000 Can't convince me this isn't a Matt So and Trey Parker aren't involved in this.

00:34:39.000 It's like when they put out that YouTube series where they superimpose Trump's face on the guy.

00:34:42.000 They'll admit it, eventually.

00:34:44.000 They're gonna spill the beans?

00:34:46.000 Don't tell Owen Benjamin.

00:34:47.000 Dude, he was a total tranny.

00:34:50.000 This is a prank!

00:34:53.000 We've had him up at Bearteria.

00:34:55.000 We call him Fag Bear.

00:35:00.000 Anyway, go back.

00:35:00.000 Let's finish this dumb garbage.

00:35:05.000 Girls, don't act like this!

00:35:05.000 You know, I'm realizing that as I look at him as a girl, women are not that confident.

00:35:21.000 You know what I mean?

00:35:22.000 Because they're not as strong and they're always vulnerable physically, they have the demeanor that's more like, okay, well, this is the room that it's going to be in and I hope it goes well.

00:35:32.000 I hope I don't screw up.

00:35:33.000 These are the chairs.

00:35:34.000 Should I be doing it?

00:35:35.000 I don't know.

00:35:36.000 Okay.

00:35:36.000 So this is the room it's going to be in and I'm really excited.

00:35:39.000 They're not like, okay, guys, you're going to love this.

00:35:42.000 This is the room.

00:35:44.000 They don't have that kind of hubris.

00:35:45.000 It's very appealing, too, to see women who have a little bit of humility.

00:35:50.000 You don't want a woman kicking down the front door and going, let's party, motherfuckers!

00:35:56.000 Good thing we still haven't.

00:35:58.000 Haven't seen a woman doing that.

00:36:02.000 A bit of it is reminiscent of a 78 year old woman.

00:36:10.000 Like maybe Bea Arthur in Golden Girls if she was having the best day of her life.

00:36:14.000 But women haven't acted like that for about 70 years?

00:36:20.000 A fake dressing room?

00:36:22.000 Come here, come here.

00:36:23.000 I'm coming, I'm coming.

00:36:24.000 I can only go so fast, Dylan!

00:36:25.000 How over the top this is, is almost like a way of saving face.

00:36:29.000 Like if I had to, you know, everybody I loved was held ransom.

00:36:33.000 They were like, be gay.

00:36:34.000 I'd be like, okay.

00:36:36.000 And I'd be so over the top that I'd be like, clearly that was an act.

00:36:39.000 Yeah, look at, hey, look at when we do those chick episodes.

00:36:41.000 Right.

00:36:42.000 I think they're pretty good.

00:36:43.000 Yeah.

00:36:43.000 Like as far as not being over the top.

00:36:45.000 I mean, we obviously look ridiculous.

00:36:47.000 That's the joke.

00:36:48.000 It's funny when men dress up as women.

00:36:50.000 But we're not like this.

00:36:51.000 No.

00:36:53.000 Is he so-called Dylan Mulvaney?

00:36:55.000 Yeah.

00:36:56.000 Well, isn't that weird?

00:36:57.000 I think it's yeah.

00:36:58.000 Dylan's dad, according to you and your dumb philosophy.

00:37:02.000 Dylon.

00:37:03.000 Should be Betty.

00:37:04.000 I'm so excited.

00:37:05.000 We've got our tech rehearsal tonight.

00:37:08.000 Tickets are still available.

00:37:09.000 Link in my bio for those live stream tickets.

00:37:11.000 And I love you.

00:37:12.000 I can't wait.

00:37:13.000 Bye!

00:37:14.000 Bye, gay guy!

00:37:18.000 Here's another video of him being a drag queen.

00:37:21.000 This is how drag queens act.

00:37:23.000 The drag queen's name could be like starry pimple eyes or, you know, like it's it's an it's almost an insulting blackface portrayal of a female.

00:37:40.000 That's Monty Python.

00:37:44.000 You definitely are doing well for confidence.

00:37:57.000 Talent, not so much, but the confidence thing, you've nailed.

00:38:01.000 You remind me of the scariest race.

00:38:14.000 In a way, it's very, just like I was saying with Bea Arthur, it's very, like, fifties gay.

00:38:32.000 He's like a classical gayest.

00:38:34.000 Look at the silly fake dyke in the background.

00:38:37.000 Lesbian until graduation.

00:38:39.000 I've got lugs.

00:38:41.000 I've got lugs.

00:38:43.000 There's like a chick looks like a slug.

00:38:45.000 There's like a chick to male that's like you know in the crowd there and I couldn't imagine like I could imagine her meeting him and being like wow so nice to be and then she hugs him after this and he smells like a dude and it like breaks the whole image.

00:38:59.000 She's like oh fuck that's a guy.

00:39:01.000 You know what I just realized?

00:39:02.000 Lesbians are better at guys than than gays are at women.

00:39:06.000 Sure, there's the comical, like, yay, I love tits, but that's usually a heterosexual girl on Halloween with, like, fake stubble and a cigar, and she's being a guy.

00:39:15.000 I was that for Halloween once.

00:39:16.000 I think it was my best costume.

00:39:17.000 I dressed up as a woman, dressed up as a man for Halloween.

00:39:19.000 But, um, they're pretty, they're just more subtle about it.

00:39:23.000 They're like, hey, what's up?

00:39:25.000 Yeah, I got my girl here.

00:39:28.000 Like, that's not exactly how we act, but you're in the right zone.

00:39:31.000 This isn't in the right zone.

00:39:32.000 They're all, they all, they're all E-rock for some reason.

00:39:38.000 Yeah.

00:39:39.000 They're all a pretty nice guy who has like six sisters and never got into sports.

00:39:44.000 Well, yeah, he got in, like he played a little basketball, but it did not stick.

00:39:47.000 He plays the keyboard in a band, but then he quit for no reason.

00:39:50.000 Yeah.

00:39:51.000 Yeah.

00:39:52.000 He can fix some shit.

00:39:54.000 Fixed my toaster.

00:39:55.000 All right.

00:39:58.000 That's enough of that.

00:40:01.000 But not enough.

00:40:01.000 We're still going to talk about him.

00:40:03.000 Here's who he really is.

00:40:05.000 One six.

00:40:07.000 This is who you just saw in a dress.

00:40:09.000 And this is a man in his element, which is faggotry.

00:40:13.000 And everything is not like, believe it or not, when I look at this, I'm like, everything is in its place.

00:40:19.000 I know you guys, a lot of you don't think you're born gay.

00:40:21.000 I do.

00:40:22.000 Gays are gays.

00:40:22.000 I don't give a shit.

00:40:23.000 I don't care about them.

00:40:25.000 But I don't think that they just need some like electric shock therapy and they'll be eating pussies all day long.

00:40:31.000 No, this is a homosexual.

00:40:33.000 Forever.

00:40:34.000 Let it go.

00:40:35.000 I know in Saudi Arabia they'd like him to turn into a woman and we've turned into Saudi Arabia now.

00:40:39.000 We deny homosexuality and lesbianetry and we go just become a man or a woman and then we can say everyone's straight.

00:40:45.000 That's basically what we're doing here.

00:40:46.000 We're like radical Muslims.

00:40:50.000 But this is Dylan being Dylan.

00:40:53.000 I just had a bad vision of the future where Trey and Matt reached out to like, we're so glad you guys get it.

00:40:58.000 We're going to announce it tomorrow.

00:40:59.000 We're having a big event.

00:41:00.000 Can you guys make it?

00:41:01.000 I know it's short notice, but you were like the first to catch on to this besides that Joe Exotic guy.

00:41:05.000 And then Dylan's like, that was so funny.

00:41:08.000 And then the next day the Deep State finds out that it's about to be a whole expose and they can't let it happen.

00:41:14.000 And we're all killed?

00:41:15.000 And they arrest us and then we're watching this in the trial and we look over to Dylan and Matt and Trey and they're like this.

00:41:22.000 There's nothing we can do at this point.

00:41:24.000 You know, I don't want to criticize this, uh, emergency kit.

00:41:29.000 I'm not seeing a lot of back scratchers.

00:41:31.000 Hmm.

00:41:31.000 And one thing about being, oh, you can use this thing.

00:41:34.000 One thing about being 50 is you need a, I have like a back scratcher in every room now.

00:41:34.000 There you go.

00:41:38.000 Really?

00:41:39.000 Yeah.

00:41:39.000 Hey, young people, you're not going to be able to read without glasses.

00:41:42.000 You're going to have to powder your nuts.

00:41:45.000 Really?

00:41:45.000 That's nuts.

00:41:46.000 Yeah.

00:41:47.000 For what?

00:41:48.000 You know what's funny?

00:41:49.000 There's a meme, a video, a funny video, where this guy is saying goodbye to his 20-year-old self, and the guy's dancing down the hallway, and there's some, like, Da Young, only the good Da Young, or something like that, and the 28-year-old me is rocking, going down the hallway, like, bye!

00:42:04.000 And then it's 30-year-old me, saying bye.

00:42:07.000 And he closes the door, and he looks over, and it's 40-year-old me, and 40-year-old me is going, I'm putting talcum powder on my nuts!

00:42:14.000 And 30-year-old me is like, what?

00:42:16.000 Why?

00:42:18.000 It's true, that's what young people say when they find out, but you get Swamp Bag.

00:42:23.000 Is that it?

00:42:24.000 If you don't powder your nuts.

00:42:27.000 If you find this, I will be impressed.

00:42:32.000 It sounds like it, the Forever Young.

00:42:33.000 Yeah, this is another, this isn't the one I was talking about, but I guess a bunch of people have tried it.

00:42:38.000 That's it?

00:42:39.000 That's fucking stunk.

00:42:39.000 Oh.

00:42:41.000 Yeah, the one I'm talking about ends with Dow competitor.

00:42:43.000 That's, you can't do a joke without a punchline.

00:42:45.000 That rocked.

00:42:47.000 That's a setup.

00:42:47.000 Opposite of rocked.

00:42:49.000 Hey, I did a great setup TikTok.

00:42:51.000 I'm not much of a punchline guy.

00:42:54.000 I guess someone else will do the punchline for you.

00:42:54.000 Okay.

00:42:58.000 I saw a roast battle with Nick Mullen and Jesse, Jamie Kilstein.

00:43:04.000 Oh yeah, that was a rough one.

00:43:05.000 It was a Jared Taylor debate, man.

00:43:07.000 Holy shit.

00:43:09.000 It was a slaughtering and a murdering.

00:43:10.000 There was ashes on the stage.

00:43:11.000 I heard Nick talk about that afterwards.

00:43:13.000 He was like, I feel bad because he's like a nice guy and that was like really rough.

00:43:17.000 It was like Mike Tyson fighting me.

00:43:21.000 It was not pleasant to watch.

00:43:23.000 Jamie gets killed, Steen.

00:43:25.000 Oh my god.

00:43:26.000 It was very bad.

00:43:26.000 It wasn't even funny.

00:43:27.000 No, it wasn't.

00:43:28.000 You're right.

00:43:29.000 It felt bad.

00:43:30.000 It was Jamie mostly going, alright, that was pretty good.

00:43:32.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:43:34.000 Wow, okay, wow.

00:43:35.000 That physically hurt.

00:43:37.000 Okay.

00:43:38.000 And then when the audience is going...

00:43:41.000 No wonder you lost at this meritocracy thing called comedy.

00:43:45.000 It was bad, yeah.

00:43:46.000 He tried to get on this show.

00:43:48.000 That's not how it works.

00:43:50.000 He's working with Tim Pool now and it's just, I don't know.

00:43:53.000 Oh, now you don't want to be a social justice warrior because you got hoisted on your own retard?

00:43:59.000 You ever see him on Paul Provenza's Green Room where they're like, Jamie, do that thing.

00:44:03.000 They're like, do that, do that, that rant thing.

00:44:06.000 And he's like, OK, here I go.

00:44:08.000 And he does it.

00:44:09.000 And it just it's exhausting.

00:44:12.000 I will never forgive the white man blues.

00:44:15.000 Sorry, I know I'm a Christian, but some things don't deserve a second chance.

00:44:20.000 There was no redemption.

00:44:21.000 He was on that stupid cunt black woman's show, which was just bashing white people, and of course it didn't last.

00:44:27.000 And then he gets with a guitar, he's singing the white man blues, and he's like, maybe I tell a woman to make me a sandwich, because I don't know how to make my own.

00:44:37.000 You gotta find that now.

00:44:38.000 I will hear this in the meantime.

00:44:40.000 What's her name?

00:44:41.000 And it's not poetry.

00:44:41.000 No, it's stand-up now.

00:44:43.000 Do that one joke.

00:44:44.000 Do that one joke about gay rights.

00:44:45.000 It's not a joke, by the way.

00:44:46.000 Do you want to stand?

00:44:47.000 Ron, would you like me to stand or sit?

00:44:49.000 You can sit right where you are so you can't get away if it sucks.

00:44:52.000 Sure.

00:44:56.000 To every heterosexual, mentally abusive, closet racist, fast food feeding, let your kid run around a mall like a psychopath parent, why do you have like nine fucking kids, yet you say that gay folk can't adopt because it might screw the child up, and I know America thinks that every time a gay couple adopts a child, it forces otherwise straight and homophobic pastor Ted Haggard to hire a gay male prostitute and engage in a week-long meth-induced fuck spree.

00:45:25.000 I know!

00:45:29.000 He didn't want to do it, you guys, but then a gay couple adopted and it forced him to take an injection of another male prostitute cock.

00:45:38.000 I know, I get it.

00:45:40.000 But I say just because your man is bitten to some girl bits doesn't mean you have to have kids.

00:45:46.000 Do you know how many straight parents shouldn't have children?

00:45:49.000 Go to a movie theater or an IHOP on a Sunday.

00:45:53.000 It's like when the quiet's changing.

00:45:54.000 It's like everything we hate personified in one dumb

00:45:59.000 Cuck rant.

00:46:00.000 When the basement-dwelling teenager at Thanksgiving starts talking and you're like, you kidding me?

00:46:04.000 I love when they get hoisted on their own retard, like Eric Warheim and the all-gas-no-brakes guy.

00:46:12.000 They put all their eggs in that basket, but they don't realize that their own stupid system of believe-all-woman leaves them all one little shove away from going off the cliff.

00:46:22.000 So I'd like, like, Andrew Cuomo to get fucked for his corruption in Albany and when he said he's going to make Buffalo, New York the new New York and poured billions of dollars into it, which he took for himself.

00:46:36.000 That's something he should go down for.

00:46:38.000 But he looked at a chick's tits too long.

00:46:41.000 OK, whatever works, whatever takes out Cuomo.

00:46:45.000 I'll have.

00:46:45.000 Is this it?

00:46:46.000 No.

00:46:47.000 No, it was on like an MSNBC show.

00:46:50.000 And he's singing with a guitar or no?

00:46:52.000 Yeah, he's got a guitar.

00:46:53.000 It's like a beautiful fancy set, like a Fox News set.

00:46:57.000 It's in the newsroom.

00:46:59.000 And she's just like, look, I made one of these monkeys dance.

00:47:02.000 I got one of these dumb white people to talk about how much white people suck.

00:47:06.000 I'm so thrilled.

00:47:07.000 And he's just like, he's a Sambo.

00:47:09.000 It's a white Sambo act.

00:47:12.000 Oh, did he get junior varsity?

00:47:14.000 I'll keep looking for it.

00:47:17.000 Uh-oh.

00:47:19.000 Here's the picture of the cop escorting me.

00:47:21.000 It's not quite as exciting as getting on Junior Varsity before you're even in fucking high school.

00:47:29.000 Um... All right, before we get... This is a long ep today.

00:47:32.000 Before we get to the green screen, let's talk about Purple Works.

00:47:35.000 Wait, I still want to do some more Mulvaney, right?

00:47:39.000 Yeah, that's the cop.

00:47:42.000 It's weird, I go, we do a show now called Cops and Robbers, and he goes, oh, really?

00:47:47.000 You're such a fan that you recognize me walking down the street, and you don't know about censored.tv?

00:47:53.000 Stay up, man.

00:47:54.000 Come on.

00:47:54.000 Come on, man.

00:47:57.000 Yeah, we got this thing still.

00:47:58.000 Oh yeah, let's finish it.

00:47:59.000 You get to spin the wheel, but guess what?

00:48:01.000 You get a second chance in this game first.

00:48:03.000 No way!

00:48:03.000 Oh my god!

00:48:04.000 Oh my god, I'm still in it!

00:48:05.000 Drew Carey.

00:48:06.000 It's like Santa's derelict brother.

00:48:07.000 $5.99.

00:48:07.000 Which one do you want to keep?

00:48:13.000 You're watching someone be themselves here.

00:48:18.000 This is normal in quotation marks.

00:48:20.000 Yes!

00:48:20.000 You got it!

00:48:21.000 Dylan's the winner!

00:48:22.000 Dylan's the winner!

00:48:24.000 Dylan, nice job, man.

00:48:38.000 Does anyone think that guy might be a woman?

00:48:44.000 It's like dictionary gay stuff.

00:48:48.000 That's another good name for the show.

00:48:54.000 No woman's ever done anything like that.

00:48:57.000 Like they don't have the confidence to be so goofy.

00:49:00.000 Thank God.

00:49:02.000 But this is what gays do.

00:49:10.000 Maybe I've lived in cities too long, but I find him kind of endearing as this.

00:49:13.000 He's just a silly faggot.

00:49:16.000 Like, I wouldn't say he can't come to my party.

00:49:18.000 Oh shit, yeah.

00:49:19.000 Drew Carey said, nice job, man.

00:49:21.000 Well, yeah, that's because he's a man.

00:49:25.000 Dude, look at this!

00:49:26.000 I don't know any woman that behaves like that.

00:49:28.000 Yeah, there's no rowing a canoe.

00:49:29.000 This is like Mike Myers stuff.

00:49:32.000 Oh, behave.

00:49:36.000 I think 1-7 is just that again.

00:49:37.000 Let's just make sure.

00:49:38.000 More dancing?

00:49:40.000 Yeah.

00:49:41.000 Yeah.

00:49:42.000 Same thing.

00:49:43.000 You got the Barrymore though, right?

00:49:44.000 Yeah, that's 1-8.

00:49:50.000 This has kind of been done to death, but did you see Drew Barrymore got on her knees and prayed to him?

00:49:55.000 No, go back.

00:49:58.000 Just click on that and then zoom out.

00:50:00.000 Please turn off the TV.

00:50:03.000 I also saw with that same couple pictures, they were like, Drew Barrymore finally reunited with E.T.

00:50:08.000 after all these years.

00:50:09.000 She starts giving him Skittles.

00:50:11.000 No, it was peanut butter M&M's.

00:50:13.000 Yeah, they wanted to be, I think M&M's, but they got outbid.

00:50:19.000 Yep, and there was like almost a dying candy at the time and it helped reinvigorate my take on this was if you've seen the clip Look how low they both get like she gets down on a knee and then he feels bad So he goes down to her level and then she sits more down.

00:50:36.000 I've only seen pictures.

00:50:37.000 Let's hear the dialogue I want you to know you're not a dude

00:50:44.000 Or believing you're a woman.

00:50:45.000 Get lower.

00:50:45.000 Oh, they do.

00:50:46.000 Oh, they do?

00:50:47.000 Oh, yeah!

00:50:47.000 It's like Japanese with the bowing.

00:50:49.000 It doesn't stop.

00:50:50.000 It's like when you're trying to, like, not be killed by a bear.

00:51:13.000 You've been doing it a little longer than I have.

00:51:14.000 Yeah, that's one way of putting it.

00:51:18.000 You've been doing it for zero seconds.

00:51:20.000 I've been doing it for whatever she is, 48 years.

00:51:23.000 Tell me if this wasn't a Key and Peele sketch.

00:51:25.000 They both keep getting lower and lower and lower.

00:51:26.000 Wait, are you reading your tweets on the show and how funny they are?

00:51:30.000 You should see what this guy, me, said about this.

00:51:33.000 I'm surmising it.

00:51:34.000 Surmising?

00:51:36.000 You mean summarizing?

00:51:37.000 I won't show it.

00:51:38.000 So imagine this is a Key and Peele sketch, how they would take that super duper far until Dylan Mulvaney's in hell.

00:51:43.000 Well that's what's gonna happen.

00:51:46.000 And he's like, where are you Drew?

00:51:48.000 And Drew's like, oh I'm not evil, I'm just ditzy and dumb.

00:51:52.000 Good news, Dylan, if you're watching.

00:51:53.000 If you are part of a prank with Matt and Trey, you're not going to hell.

00:51:57.000 You're going to heaven.

00:51:58.000 And I can't wait to party with you there.

00:52:00.000 Okay, last thing before this this gigantic green screen.

00:52:06.000 That annoying chick from the other day.

00:52:08.000 Remember the Hispanic affirmative action hire who got out to the podium where that judge, the appellate court judge, was trying to do a normal talk that may have been slightly conservative?

00:52:17.000 And she ruined it by talking about herself.

00:52:18.000 I'm like, yo, you gotta understand about our community.

00:52:21.000 It means so much to me, and I wanna let you talk, but it hurts me so much to hear that.

00:52:26.000 And you're like, this leftist bitch just ruined everything.

00:52:30.000 Why does she have a role?

00:52:31.000 Guess who's in shit since that, we showed that.

00:52:35.000 The Chick.

00:52:37.000 What, wait, what?

00:52:40.000 Hundreds of students lined the halls yesterday to,

00:52:44.000 Protest the law school's Dean Jenny Martinez, and she's a dean in the sense that she's a dean of fucking inclusion and awareness for apologizing to Kyle Durnham.

00:52:54.000 The judge shouted down last week.

00:52:57.000 Wow.

00:52:59.000 They subjected her to an intimidating walk of shame.

00:53:03.000 So they all wore black.

00:53:05.000 This is fucking we are still a very religious country, but we've abandoned Christianity Just like Chris Hayes and we're starting a new religion.

00:53:14.000 That's just as puritanical this all could be genetics, right?

00:53:17.000 We're still the same Puritans that that hit the Mayflower it hit Plymouth Rock but now our religion is I don't know the radical Marxist leftism and

00:53:29.000 So they go to her class, they vandalize her class with all this shit, this like, sinner.

00:53:34.000 Shame!

00:53:35.000 Shame!

00:53:36.000 Shame!

00:53:36.000 And as she walks out like, I'm sorry I didn't eviscerate that judge.

00:53:40.000 I just, I just insulted him for like 20 minutes as opposed to stabbing him.

00:53:45.000 And then she has to walk out with her head down like, I'm so sorry.

00:53:51.000 The protesters dressed in black and wearing face masks that read, counter speech is free speech.

00:53:55.000 Yeah, that's totally true.

00:53:57.000 Have your own seminar where you debunk all of the horrible things the judge said.

00:54:01.000 No one has a problem with that.

00:54:02.000 Stared silently at Martinez as she exited the room, according to five students who witnessed the episode.

00:54:07.000 By the way, they did this with my talk at Penn State, where they had anti-me things, where they were gay and they ran around, did drag queen shit.

00:54:16.000 That should have been enough.

00:54:17.000 And I'm totally, obviously everyone's fine with that, but they still are still threatening Penn State for not, for just even allowing me to enter the campus.

00:54:26.000 That was a sin.

00:54:28.000 So they pretend that all they want is the right to do counter speech?

00:54:30.000 No, no, no, no.

00:54:32.000 They want to do their speech only and destroy the opposing view.

00:54:35.000 And I bet his talk was pretty benign.

00:54:38.000 The student protesters who formed a human corridor from Martina's classroom to the building's exit comprised nearly a third of the law school.

00:54:47.000 And the majority of Martina's class, approximately 50 students of the 60 enrolled, participated in the protests themselves.

00:54:53.000 I've got the right story, right?

00:54:55.000 Yeah.

00:54:56.000 Like that was the woman who got up on the podium and that judge was Kyle, what's his name?

00:55:00.000 Yep.

00:55:00.000 Yeah, that was the thing.

00:55:06.000 She spent about six real minutes like doing nothing, but just catering to them so that way not gonna say something fair This is Kelsey by the way.

00:55:14.000 Oh, they're Melissa Perry That was her name grew up totally white black father abandoned her raised by a white woman She grew up in like Ohio related to Matt Perry actually

00:55:24.000 To fulfill a dream, we just needed a bit of a preview.

00:55:28.000 Jamie is taking his comedy songs and rants and making a full studio album.

00:55:33.000 A dream of his since he was 16 years old.

00:55:35.000 No coming back in my book, Jamie.

00:55:38.000 This is about the real struggle.

00:55:40.000 Is Tessa Claire Hirsch.

00:55:42.000 Her amazing vocals are part of it.

00:55:44.000 Jamie and Tessa, take it away.

00:55:46.000 Uncle Tom.

00:55:48.000 This is about the real struggle.

00:55:49.000 Tessa Claire Hirsch.

00:55:50.000 Peculiar name.

00:55:51.000 I don't know what sis is.

00:55:57.000 Is someone pulling my spine out of my body through my asshole?

00:56:06.000 I feel like somebody's putting a spine in my asshole.

00:56:11.000 A spine fish.

00:56:12.000 You guys are scared of ghosts.

00:56:20.000 You're scared of these fake Klansmen that you think are lurking around every corner.

00:56:25.000 You're scared of David Blaine magic.

00:56:41.000 Tell you what, Jamie, there is coming back from this as a laborer, a day laborer in maybe like Wales.

00:56:51.000 Just be a bricklayer and live out the rest of your life and no one wants to hurt you.

00:56:58.000 But any of us ever speaking to you in person?

00:57:03.000 Oh, that's the line I was talking about.

00:57:06.000 Go back.

00:57:06.000 Sorry, I'm interrupting all his great blues riffs.

00:57:10.000 Sandwich!

00:57:11.000 But to be honest, it's cuz.

00:57:14.000 No, more.

00:57:14.000 You gotta go back more.

00:57:15.000 I don't know how to make.

00:57:17.000 No, no, no, no, no, no.

00:57:19.000 Said something I don't like.

00:57:21.000 Always fighting on the internet.

00:57:25.000 I tell her to make me a sandwich, but to be honest, it's cuz.

00:57:31.000 I don't know how to make a sandwich.

00:57:34.000 No, he

00:57:35.000 Do you know how to build bridges, airplanes, cell phones, technology?

00:57:39.000 Wait, what?

00:57:41.000 Do you know how to build airplanes, cell phones, technology, bridges, roads?

00:57:46.000 If there's one thing men know, it's how to make a fucking sandwich.

00:57:50.000 I love when I go to a New York deli and there's all those women making me a big old sandwich.

00:57:55.000 Yeah.

00:57:56.000 Yeah, the Godfather was pioneered by a female.

00:57:59.000 Holy fuck, a woman does make her sandwiches at that bodega down the street, and they fucking suck.

00:58:04.000 She can never retain what ingredients you wanted them.

00:58:06.000 Yeah.

00:58:08.000 Amazing.

00:58:08.000 Oh, you mean the one here?

00:58:10.000 Yeah.

00:58:10.000 Oh, dude.

00:58:11.000 I stand there.

00:58:12.000 I don't look at my phone.

00:58:13.000 But you have to.

00:58:13.000 Cheddar cheese.

00:58:14.000 If you leave, she'll be like, what am I supposed to do?

00:58:16.000 Jalapenos.

00:58:16.000 No, no, not American cheese.

00:58:19.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:58:20.000 Toasted?

00:58:21.000 Toasted?

00:58:21.000 Yeah.

00:58:22.000 Tostito?

00:58:23.000 No, don't put tostitos on there.

00:58:25.000 And then she looks over at the fucking Cuban guy and she's like, what's cheese in Spanish again?

00:58:31.000 I've done that with mayonnaise.

00:58:32.000 And she's like, mayonnaise?

00:58:34.000 And he's like, mayonesa.

00:58:35.000 She's like, oh, mayonnaise.

00:58:37.000 Yeah.

00:58:37.000 It's a cognate.

00:58:40.000 Men don't know how to make sandwiches.

00:58:42.000 Nice allegation, buddy.

00:58:44.000 And again, I've always said this.

00:58:46.000 I don't mind being insulted.

00:58:47.000 I don't mind being mocked.

00:58:48.000 Just make it true.

00:58:50.000 Right.

00:58:51.000 All right.

00:58:51.000 Let's talk about, speaking of true, Purple Works Nutrition pre-workout.

00:58:55.000 This is the pink lemonade flavor.

00:58:57.000 Strength, energy, focus.

00:58:59.000 It is unlike any pre-workout I've ever taken before.

00:59:02.000 I am an old man.

00:59:03.000 I'm very sensitive to caffeine.

00:59:05.000 I don't have any coffees after like noon or I'm up all night.

00:59:10.000 So I personally do not do an entire scoop in the mornings.

00:59:13.000 My workouts usually 9.30, so I'll take it at nine and

00:59:19.000 I got to say, man, I get prickles.

00:59:21.000 I've told you this before, right?

00:59:22.000 I get prickles on my hands and my feet.

00:59:25.000 And if I don't, if I, for whatever reason, take the pre-workout, but don't work out, those prickles last way too long.

00:59:31.000 They go into the rest of the day.

00:59:33.000 Don't take this if you're not going to work out.

00:59:35.000 So I take it.

00:59:37.000 And then as I'm working out, I feel the prickles like becoming employed.

00:59:44.000 And helping, and I get this second wind in my workout where all of a sudden I'm just like, ish, ish, ish, ish.

00:59:51.000 And you know what really helps too, because Ryan, the owner of the gym, we're always competing because we're the same age, and he always has to beat me.

00:59:58.000 What really helps is our trainer occasionally lies to him and says, Gavin did all that entire workout three times.

01:00:06.000 He's like, how the fuck did he fit it in 30 minutes?

01:00:10.000 I didn't.

01:00:10.000 I did it twice.

01:00:12.000 But anyway, that's neither here nor there.

01:00:15.000 My trainer Hector drives him insane by saying that I did twice or whatever I did.

01:00:20.000 So he's there like, trying to do things I never did.

01:00:26.000 Just like before you do, like, I remember as a kid when we were in bands, I'd be so nervous before the show.

01:00:31.000 And I'd have, like, I think, I don't know if I can do the show, guys.

01:00:33.000 I'd be bent over by the side of the stage with, like, stomach going... Going, I think I'm gonna have explosive diarrhea.

01:00:41.000 I don't think I can do the show.

01:00:42.000 Then I would get on stage and boom.

01:00:44.000 All of that fear would turn into adrenaline and just fucking rock out.

01:00:47.000 It was awesome.

01:00:49.000 Not remotely uncomfortable on stage, but scared before.

01:00:52.000 And I've noticed that with the pre-workout.

01:00:54.000 Your hands are prickly.

01:00:56.000 You feel a little unusual and then it's employed.

01:00:59.000 And then when you're done the workout, the prickles are gone and it's not like you're sketched out after.

01:01:04.000 You used the purple works while you were working out.

01:01:08.000 And every, all the little minions that are in your bloodstream did their job.

01:01:12.000 Now they're done.

01:01:14.000 And now you have that.

01:01:15.000 You know what I love?

01:01:15.000 I don't like leg days where your legs are sore the next day, but I love when your arms are sore the next day.

01:01:20.000 Oh yeah.

01:01:21.000 Isn't that a great feeling?

01:01:23.000 You're like, I did it.

01:01:25.000 And it's weird, too.

01:01:26.000 I don't like sore back from working out.

01:01:28.000 The only thing I like after working out is pecs and arms.

01:01:32.000 Because you're like, I did it.

01:01:34.000 I like a sore back.

01:01:35.000 Like the muscles in the back.

01:01:37.000 Really?

01:01:38.000 Oh yeah.

01:01:39.000 I don't want to get a ripped back.

01:01:40.000 You look like a turtle.

01:01:41.000 I want to have giant arms.

01:01:44.000 And by the way, this, compared to what I grew up with, is Schwarzenegger levels.

01:01:50.000 I used to have pencils for... Schwarzenegger.

01:01:54.000 So yeah, Purple Works Nutrition.

01:01:56.000 I'm still on my second container.

01:02:00.000 I've got three of these at home.

01:02:01.000 And I highly recommend it.

01:02:03.000 I highly recommend it.

01:02:05.000 Do not take this if you're not going to work out.

01:02:06.000 I'm going to start my working out again.

01:02:09.000 And I told my coach this too.

01:02:11.000 Unfortunately, Ryan, I will not be taking up my caring again.

01:02:15.000 I already called it, so... Well, you had to interrupt me.

01:02:18.000 Feel it!

01:02:20.000 Come on, come on.

01:02:21.000 So yeah, go to purpleworksnutrition.com, promo code Gavin for 15% off.

01:02:26.000 Don't forget to buy one of their shakers.

01:02:28.000 It's this little sort of drink box thing, drink box, drinking flask, doohickey, thermos, whatever.

01:02:34.000 What do you call those?

01:02:34.000 A fucking shaker.

01:02:36.000 And it's got a mesh in it, so when you shake it up.

01:02:39.000 I just use a tablespoon, I use about a third of a tablespoon in the mornings, and I stir it.

01:02:45.000 What is this?

01:02:47.000 Is this from their site?

01:02:49.000 No.

01:02:50.000 It's a good vibration for them.

01:02:52.000 I wouldn't do that, Ryan.

01:02:54.000 This is my back.

01:02:56.000 See?

01:02:56.000 A nice ripped back.

01:02:58.000 This is my care.

01:03:00.000 See?

01:03:00.000 Oh yeah, well you can kiss my ass.

01:03:05.000 Alright, let's get to the green screen.

01:03:07.000 Okay, we can absolutely do that.

01:03:08.000 Would you like to do that now?

01:03:10.000 Yeah, I'd love to do that.

01:03:11.000 Okay, here we go.

01:03:12.000 Okay.

01:03:26.000 Alrighty!

01:03:27.000 Let's get down to the faces of hate.

01:03:29.000 Uh-oh.

01:03:30.000 I am just a face of hate.

01:03:31.000 I am nothing else.

01:03:33.000 Guess we... We can't go fucking green, can we?

01:03:36.000 Hang on a minute.

01:03:56.000 There, can you see me now?

01:03:57.000 Mostly.

01:03:59.000 I just got a little bit popped out here in the corner of my crest.

01:04:03.000 What is this shirt?

01:04:05.000 Munster Lannister.

01:04:09.000 Connachie Ulster.

01:04:12.000 Some fuckin' Irish shirt there for St.

01:04:14.000 Paddy's Day.

01:04:15.000 Alright, the Faces of Hate have been thinking about this all week.

01:04:19.000 The more evil someone is, the more of a monster they are, the better of a person they are.

01:04:25.000 Now, I know some people that are disliked by the left, like Greg Gutfeld and Hannity, and I've hung out with those dudes.

01:04:33.000 They're pretty good.

01:04:34.000 They're not amazing, though.

01:04:37.000 When I hang out with actual monster, evil, satanic beasts from hell that give leftist nightmares, those people are extraordinary.

01:04:47.000 So we're going to go through the 10 biggest monsters of the left.

01:04:51.000 Cue next card.

01:04:55.000 Ten monsters who are actually pretty cool.

01:04:57.000 Now let me show you a graph I put together of this.

01:05:00.000 So we have guys who are like kind of monstery like Greg and Hannity and they're pretty cool.

01:05:07.000 But I'm going to be only staying up here in like the top worst horrible hate mongers in all of America and I'm going to tell you what they're actually like.

01:05:17.000 And it's amazing too because just like the fuck around and find out chart the more you're told they're horrible

01:05:24.000 The more awesome they are.

01:05:26.000 Every single person on this list is extraordinary.

01:05:29.000 Like some of the best people I've ever known.

01:05:31.000 I know it sounds gay, but outside of like a romantic thing, I'm in love with them.

01:05:39.000 And they're worth it.

01:05:40.000 So let's start at the top with my pal Anthony Cumia.

01:05:47.000 So now you do the Anthony Cumia background for the rest of this.

01:05:50.000 So show the card, Ryan, when I say the name.

01:05:54.000 There we go.

01:05:54.000 So now that's in the books.

01:05:56.000 And then this is the way he's depicted, right?

01:05:58.000 Racist tirade.

01:05:59.000 So Anthony, it must be eight years ago now, he was jumped by a black tranny as he was taking photographs around Times Square.

01:06:08.000 The tranny instantly just started punching him in the face.

01:06:10.000 And without saying any racial epithets, Anthony said, what is it with the black community and this immediate jump to violence?

01:06:17.000 And it's just a fact.

01:06:18.000 I mean, if you look at jackass pranks, or you know those pranks where you're like a bush, and then you come out at the guy?

01:06:24.000 You get punched in the face.

01:06:25.000 Maybe it's a hood thing, I don't know.

01:06:26.000 But you'll notice that Jesse Jackson and shit rap in the 90s was talking about this problem, this knee-jerk reaction to violence.

01:06:36.000 So it's a well-documented thing, and it's a problem with the black community.

01:06:40.000 He merely pointed it out.

01:06:41.000 And that was the end of him.

01:06:42.000 He's cancelled now.

01:06:43.000 He's a tenacious bugger.

01:06:45.000 So he was able to make his own pirate ship.

01:06:47.000 And that, by the way, begot Joe Rogan and a lot of these podcasts you see today.

01:06:52.000 But he was the first guy to say, yeah, you can't cancel me.

01:06:54.000 I'm just going to do it out of my basement.

01:06:55.000 Then he built a studio in the city.

01:06:56.000 Anyway.

01:06:57.000 So that's how he's portrayed as the worst guy alive.

01:07:01.000 This dude is nice to a fault.

01:07:05.000 He overhires, overpays people.

01:07:07.000 He's always buying shots.

01:07:11.000 Back before he sold his house to build a house in South Carolina.

01:07:15.000 Huge parties at his house, black dudes, white dudes, retards, people with like speech impediments, waist weights, all just filling his house, jumping in his pool, staying sometimes for days.

01:07:28.000 Like this guy is the most benevolent person I've ever met.

01:07:32.000 He's seething with hate, as all Archie Bunker types are, but it's hatred of everyone equally.

01:07:39.000 And it's a pattern I've noticed with this whole group is when they love you they love you and when they hate you they hate you.

01:07:45.000 All of these people on this list are Braveheart types so they're going to fight England if England tries to destroy us but as far as they're the people around them love them to death.

01:07:56.000 So I hope I'm conveying this correctly but this guy is uniquely benevolent.

01:08:01.000 Funny when people come up to him at bars they're joking riffing

01:08:05.000 Incredibly high quality dude.

01:08:07.000 Unbelievably generous.

01:08:08.000 I bumped into him at a casino once.

01:08:10.000 We were both there for different reasons.

01:08:13.000 I was there for a Proud Boys thing and he was there because of a show.

01:08:16.000 And he just, he's playing blackjack.

01:08:17.000 He goes, oh Gavin, what's going on man?

01:08:19.000 He just slides me over like 500 bucks in chips.

01:08:22.000 Have a seat.

01:08:22.000 And we just start playing blackjack.

01:08:25.000 Just the kind of guy he is.

01:08:26.000 And that's why he has such loyalty from guys like Rogan and Louis CK who give him front row seats to their shows and to MMA fights because people respect that he's an OG.

01:08:37.000 Anyway, not remotely racist, not remotely what the media portrays him to be.

01:08:41.000 Let's go to number two.

01:08:43.000 Number two is Ann Coulter.

01:08:46.000 I've never felt this way about a woman without it being sexual.

01:08:49.000 It's a weird feeling to have, especially as someone who is, according to the left, and according to me, kind of sexist.

01:08:57.000 Like, I'm an Archie Bunker sexist.

01:08:59.000 But a typical view is this, I hate Ann Coulter.

01:09:02.000 I mean, people want to murder this woman.

01:09:04.000 Is my head getting cropped?

01:09:05.000 No, no.

01:09:07.000 Like, she's not safe.

01:09:08.000 She needs bodyguards when she goes out.

01:09:10.000 She likes Halloween because she can wear a mask and walk among the people without fear of getting jumped.

01:09:14.000 People want to cause harm to her, which is amazing because she's one of the kindest, most benevolent people.

01:09:20.000 Like, I've seen her talk to girls who are lonely and they're like,

01:09:25.000 What am I going to do about a man?"

01:09:26.000 And it's like, look, it's very simple.

01:09:27.000 Just don't be fat.

01:09:29.000 Grow your hair long.

01:09:31.000 Try to look nice a few times a week and you'll do okay.

01:09:34.000 She's genuinely concerned about people.

01:09:36.000 Now, like a lot of these heroes, they themselves didn't get married and have kids, which is really unfortunate.

01:09:42.000 I'm not sure why that is.

01:09:44.000 Why they didn't get married and have kids, but they want everyone else to get married and have kids and be happy.

01:09:49.000 That's the other thing.

01:09:50.000 Like, with all the vitriol that you hear from Anne and Ant, they both just want everyone to be happy.

01:09:56.000 They want America to be better.

01:09:57.000 They want everyone to be fulfilled.

01:09:58.000 The left doesn't feel like that.

01:10:00.000 What I get from the left, especially the sort of trannies, is like, me, me, me.

01:10:04.000 I was treated this way.

01:10:05.000 I felt that way.

01:10:06.000 You don't really hear Anne talk about herself.

01:10:08.000 She talks about America.

01:10:09.000 She talks about jobs.

01:10:11.000 But she's very concerned about other people.

01:10:14.000 And that's why she's on this show, talking about, like, I don't want to hear about racism from some Spanish conquistador speaking a European language.

01:10:20.000 I know you're Mexican.

01:10:21.000 You're a rich Mexican.

01:10:22.000 You can't come here and talk about how horrible it is.

01:10:24.000 She's also pretty politically correct.

01:10:27.000 There's been times where I've said the N-word in a jokey way around her, and she gets pissed off at me.

01:10:32.000 And she shuts it down immediately.

01:10:34.000 So not only is she incredibly kind and benevolent and concerned about other people's feelings, but she's also very careful about other people's feelings.

01:10:46.000 And she's always organizing stuff.

01:10:48.000 I had a dinner party with her in Colorado with Peter Thiel, and she was like, OK, you and you, and she's pointing to me and some other loudmouth, you guys go at the end.

01:10:57.000 Of course!

01:11:16.000 Some dude who owns a hockey team, fuckin' Ami Horowitz, some dude who wrote for SNL, like this amazing variety of people, and everyone's interesting.

01:11:26.000 That's the thing about Ann.

01:11:27.000 When you go out with her, the night is interesting and fun.

01:11:30.000 And people always say to me, they go, you know Ann Coulter, that shit she says, that's like, how much of that is just for shock value and how much does she really believe?

01:11:37.000 And I always say this, I go, what sentence are you talking about?

01:11:40.000 What quote from what book are you talking about?

01:11:43.000 Her books are all fantastic.

01:11:45.000 Shit, I forgot Michelle Malkin on this list.

01:11:48.000 Actually, I love Michelle to death, but these people that I'm showing this list, I've partied with.

01:11:53.000 They're gregarious.

01:11:54.000 Michelle has her husband and her kids, and she's got her own thing going on.

01:11:57.000 So, maybe I don't regret her putting her on this list, because she's not exactly Braveheart in the sense that she doesn't walk into a room and bombastically announce herself.

01:12:05.000 All of the people on this list do.

01:12:08.000 Except maybe Brimelow.

01:12:10.000 Malkin's fucking awesome, don't get me wrong.

01:12:14.000 I gotta think about why she's not on this list.

01:12:16.000 Sorry to interrupt myself with conjecture.

01:12:19.000 Alright, number three!

01:12:21.000 Who do we got?

01:12:23.000 Tommy Robinson.

01:12:24.000 How is he portrayed in the media?

01:12:28.000 That's the first link.

01:12:29.000 Far right, swooping on towns to exploit tension.

01:12:33.000 So, Pakistani Muslims, who have only seen white people in porn back home, come there, they see young girls, and they go, yeah, I've seen these on the disgusting porn I used to watch.

01:12:44.000 I'm going to groom them and attack them.

01:12:47.000 Look, when they see him in Luton, it's a big deal.

01:12:50.000 And yeah, he was the leader of the EDL.

01:12:52.000 Yeah, there was some Nazis in the EDL.

01:12:53.000 That's why he left the EDL.

01:12:55.000 Look, some little kid is like, that's racist.

01:12:57.000 Look at him.

01:12:58.000 Pussy.

01:13:00.000 They want to throw down.

01:13:01.000 This is his hometown.

01:13:02.000 By the way, this is 20 minutes from my hometown.

01:13:04.000 My mom used to get groceries in Luton from Hitchen.

01:13:07.000 But yeah, he's not safe there because he dares to question the locals who fucking groom kids.

01:13:14.000 And we've seen the data on this.

01:13:16.000 It's incredible.

01:13:17.000 Hundreds of young girls raped by Muslims.

01:13:20.000 And not just Luton.

01:13:21.000 Oh, there we go.

01:13:22.000 It's off.

01:13:24.000 Um, but up in Birmingham, Liverpool, almost every non-major city or every city outside of London has a serious problem with Pakistanis grooming.

01:13:33.000 So, Tommy brings this up.

01:13:35.000 What do they do?

01:13:36.000 They persecute him and manage to come up with some retarded charge.

01:13:41.000 Contempt of court.

01:13:42.000 No one's been jailed for contempt of court in Britain, I believe, ever.

01:13:45.000 I've heard of one other case.

01:13:46.000 It was a $3,000 fine.

01:13:47.000 The guy refused to pay it.

01:13:49.000 He's a contempt of court kind of guy.

01:13:50.000 He says, fuck you.

01:13:51.000 It doesn't get paid.

01:13:52.000 No problem.

01:13:53.000 Tommy's done two separate prison sentences for the same charge.

01:13:59.000 He went in, did the charge, by the way, inside they tried to get Muslims to kill him.

01:14:03.000 The CO set it up such that he was, his door was unlocked.

01:14:06.000 Some Somali comes in, whips boiling water at him.

01:14:09.000 Tommy deeks it out, beats the shit out of the guy.

01:14:11.000 Then they sent him to another prison.

01:14:13.000 After he gets out, they go, no, you're going back in for the same charge again.

01:14:16.000 I don't know how they twist it, because it's double jeopardy, but they did it.

01:14:20.000 And then in that charge, the Muslims go, we're gonna poison your food, because they all work in the... Believe it or not, they're over-represented in the pedophile field in Britain.

01:14:27.000 They're also over-represented in the prisons.

01:14:31.000 Well, there's the ADL burning a Nazi flag.

01:14:33.000 The EDL, I should say.

01:14:35.000 Because they fought hard to avoid... to make sure that they weren't seen as Nazis.

01:14:40.000 But eventually, you know, you can only fight so long.

01:14:44.000 At any rate, um...

01:14:46.000 They said in the second prison the Muslims go, we're gonna poison your food.

01:14:49.000 So all he can eat is like the tuna you get at commissary and a bag of chips.

01:14:54.000 So he's emaciated.

01:14:55.000 He looked like a different person.

01:14:56.000 He kind of looked like Jesus.

01:14:58.000 Did I include a picture of him when he got out with that beard?

01:15:02.000 Unrecognizable.

01:15:03.000 He lost like 26 pounds.

01:15:05.000 I go to him.

01:15:06.000 Yeah, there he is getting out.

01:15:07.000 I go, are you gonna be skinny from now on?

01:15:09.000 He goes, mate, I could look at McDonald's and put on 10 stone.

01:15:13.000 Okay, so that's the bad side that you've heard of him, right?

01:15:16.000 And this is a great speech he did.

01:15:18.000 He's done great documentaries, too, proving his allegations.

01:15:21.000 Are you exploiting his allegations against the Muslims?

01:15:24.000 I mean, are you exploiting tensions when you say these people are grooming?

01:15:28.000 Okay, yeah.

01:15:29.000 I want to exploit tensions.

01:15:32.000 You should be tense.

01:15:33.000 There's kids getting raped.

01:15:35.000 Let's get tense, please.

01:15:36.000 Remember the time some Muslim grabbed his daughter's ass?

01:15:40.000 And he was accused of assaulting the guy just for saying, you're gonna sit there, mate, and wait for the police.

01:15:46.000 And they go, this Tommy Robinson just attacked me because I'm Muslim.

01:15:49.000 Well, he did fucking try to molest his daughter, so.

01:15:51.000 You're lucky you're alive, asshole.

01:15:53.000 Anyway.

01:15:55.000 That being said, I've hung out with Tommy, I arrive at the airport, someone picks me up, then I finally meet Tommy.

01:16:02.000 They're joking around, his son has a car seat at the time, like, oh Tommy you're gonna need the car seat in the front, joking about how short he is.

01:16:08.000 We party for like three days, pubs, laughs.

01:16:12.000 He's got like basically a fatwa on him at the time.

01:16:16.000 His mates, his soccer hooligan crew, which I went to a football match with them, the goalie comes out at the end of the game and gives Tommy's son his goalkeeping gloves.

01:16:26.000 He's a god amongst men and these guys are the, not just fun, laughing their heads off at all time, pints, we're going from this place to that place, but funny.

01:16:37.000 And the perfect example I keep citing is, I'm kind of flirty with waitresses and stuff, especially if I'm drunk, and I was like, hey, how you doing?

01:16:44.000 You look great or something like that.

01:16:46.000 And she's not interested, obviously, because I look like this.

01:16:50.000 And they go, she leaves, and they go, they all start laughing, and one of them goes, Gavin's always been faithful to his wife, but it's not for want of trying.

01:17:01.000 And then everyone bursts out laughing at what a faggot I am.

01:17:04.000 Quality.

01:17:05.000 Dude, you ever heard the Avatar blues, where after the Avatar movie's over, they feel weird for a few days because they miss it so much?

01:17:12.000 That's how I felt when I flew back from hanging with Tommy's stalker, Yabos.

01:17:18.000 In Luton, coming back to New York.

01:17:21.000 I was like, what have I done with my life?

01:17:23.000 I should be with them.

01:17:26.000 Quality men.

01:17:28.000 And they're not picking fights, just like Proud Boys.

01:17:30.000 They're out there fighting on behalf of children.

01:17:35.000 Alright, next.

01:17:37.000 Can you do the next guy when I say next and not show the old guy?

01:17:42.000 Jared Taylor.

01:17:43.000 Oh my god.

01:17:45.000 He's a white supremacist.

01:17:48.000 I've talked to Jared quite a bit about race.

01:17:51.000 Look at this.

01:17:52.000 They're not white nationalists, they're white supremacists.

01:17:54.000 This is some clown.

01:17:56.000 He's a dropout loser who was in the army for like a year before he got kicked out.

01:18:02.000 He was at, what's the fucking big Hunts Point?

01:18:06.000 No, that's where the prostitutes are.

01:18:06.000 What's it called?

01:18:07.000 West Point?

01:18:08.000 No, the military school.

01:18:10.000 West Point?

01:18:10.000 West Point.

01:18:13.000 He was, you know, cheating, lying, stealing, total catastrophe, but now all he writes about is military school.

01:18:19.000 He writes these dumb, like, girly novels, pulp fiction about military school.

01:18:23.000 He's a joke, but he's also super politically correct.

01:18:27.000 And he's attacking Jared Taylor here, just like he attacks everyone.

01:18:29.000 This is just a random example of the way most of the people on this list are seen by the radical left.

01:18:35.000 They're so busy, they're so worried about bigotry from white males that they totally ignore any kind of bigotry from anyone else.

01:18:41.000 They're allowed to.

01:18:42.000 It's about power, you see.

01:18:44.000 I know Jared very well.

01:18:45.000 I've known him for 20 years.

01:18:46.000 We disagree on a lot of things.

01:18:48.000 He's been to my house, he's seen my Indian family, my Indian wife, and he couldn't give less of a shit.

01:18:55.000 His thing is, he goes, if diversity is so crucial to everyone, and if it's so organically wonderful, then we shouldn't have to pay for it.

01:19:04.000 You know, you don't have to promote sex.

01:19:05.000 You don't have to promote marijuana.

01:19:07.000 You don't have to promote lots of good things.

01:19:10.000 Fitness.

01:19:10.000 You don't need to make people jog.

01:19:12.000 They just jog because it makes them feel good.

01:19:15.000 If diversity was such a strength, why do we have to spend trillions of dollars across the world forcing it down people's throats?

01:19:22.000 His contention is you should be able to have a whites-only restaurant.

01:19:24.000 You should be able to have a blacks-only restaurant.

01:19:26.000 You should be able to segregate.

01:19:27.000 It should be legal to segregate.

01:19:28.000 You should be able to avoid diversity if it's not for you.

01:19:30.000 He doesn't want all blacks to go back to Africa.

01:19:32.000 He's not like that's a Richard Spencer thing.

01:19:34.000 So Jared Taylor basically has the same views as most Japanese men.

01:19:38.000 And that's because he's Japanese.

01:19:40.000 He was born there.

01:19:41.000 It's his first language.

01:19:42.000 I think he talks like that in that transatlantic accent because those were the films he saw in Sugamuko.

01:19:50.000 And that's why he learned, that's how he learned to speak English outside of his parents.

01:19:54.000 And that's why he says white.

01:19:57.000 Because I believe that's how they spoke back then.

01:19:59.000 Anyway, what you're seeing when you see this person is just a Japanese man in white face.

01:20:05.000 And if you're shocked by his beliefs, that means you don't know a lot of other races like Japanese people and you don't know how they feel about race.

01:20:14.000 If you have a problem with him, by all means, debate him.

01:20:18.000 Ari the Rugged Man did a particularly bad job and he's every time you see him debate someone even guys that I really appreciate like Wilford Riley he just it's embarrassing it's a cat playing with a mouse before he eats it and I drank whiskey with this guy I've been to conventions with them and and we did a TV pilot with David Cross together and the guy is just an incredibly calm funny well-educated man that just wants what's best for his country

01:20:47.000 High quality, dude.

01:20:48.000 And, again, a lot of these people I disagree with.

01:20:51.000 I'm not as radical.

01:20:52.000 I'm obviously a race mixer, which Jared's not bananas about, but how does he treat me as a race mixer?

01:20:58.000 He's like, alright, well, that's not for me.

01:21:00.000 I prefer if whites would marry whites, but he's still over for whiskeys.

01:21:06.000 So, this is the real problem, too, with this national divorce.

01:21:10.000 I don't agree with everyone on this list, especially Nick Fuentes, who's coming up.

01:21:14.000 Who gives a shit?

01:21:16.000 Anthony Cumia plays video games for six hours in a row.

01:21:18.000 I fucking hate that adults play video games.

01:21:21.000 So?

01:21:23.000 This is the thing, why do you have to agree with all your friends?

01:21:25.000 That's fucking gay.

01:21:27.000 It's gay to need to agree with 100% of what your friends believe.

01:21:31.000 It's also not a very colorful lifestyle.

01:21:34.000 That's very, worse than gay, it's grey.

01:21:36.000 That's communism.

01:21:38.000 And that's what the left is pushing these days.

01:21:40.000 Everyone in Mumford & Sons has to feel the same way about Jordan Peterson or they're out of the band.

01:21:45.000 Oh good, so now when I go see a band, I know the keyboardist, the bassist, and the drummer all feel the same way about Trump.

01:21:51.000 There's one thing I need.

01:21:53.000 It's philosophical collusion amongst all of my homogeneous band members.

01:22:00.000 To be fair, this is the type of game that Anthony Comea plays.

01:22:03.000 He's launching rockets into space with like real physics.

01:22:06.000 Our trajectory is at any given moment during the burn.

01:22:10.000 Yes, he also plays Call of Duty.

01:22:12.000 Right now, we're going to fly around the planet.

01:22:16.000 Uh, next?

01:22:19.000 Should be Nick.

01:22:20.000 Okay, fine, we can do Peter Brimelow.

01:22:22.000 Peter Brimelow, huge family man.

01:22:24.000 His wife died of breast cancer after their first two kids.

01:22:28.000 If you're a single parent,

01:22:30.000 Or a widower.

01:22:31.000 Or a widow.

01:22:32.000 I think it's your ethical job to get remarried as fast as possible so the kids have a mum.

01:22:37.000 As the British people say.

01:22:39.000 And he did.

01:22:40.000 He got himself a new mum.

01:22:42.000 And had a bunch more kids.

01:22:44.000 So the age gap with his kids is like 15 years or something.

01:22:47.000 But they all get along great.

01:22:49.000 Persecuted because he's anti-immigration.

01:22:54.000 Well, here he is.

01:22:54.000 So he's eventually like, just leave me alone.

01:22:56.000 I could find an SPLC link for all these people, by the way.

01:22:58.000 He goes, I'm not going to bother.

01:23:00.000 I don't want to be around you.

01:23:00.000 You don't want to be around me.

01:23:01.000 Fine.

01:23:01.000 I'll just get a castle in the middle of nowhere.

01:23:04.000 Oh yeah?

01:23:05.000 It's a hate castle.

01:23:07.000 Like the guy is literally alone like Frankenstein sequestered in a castle with his family and the SPLC is all like, what's that castle doing there?

01:23:16.000 It's a hate castle.

01:23:17.000 Ooh, the locals are furious.

01:23:19.000 The locals couldn't give two shits.

01:23:20.000 They found one or two lesbian bookstore owners who were upset that there's a guy behind the fence who's possibly racist.

01:23:27.000 Yeah, he says diversity is a weakness, and there's a lot of evidence to say exactly that, that diversity doesn't do well.

01:23:34.000 Especially when you look at a lack of assimilation.

01:23:39.000 You can have a bunch of different races, but they should agree that America is founded on Christianity and Christians are awesome.

01:23:46.000 You know if you if you move to Japan you should probably respect Japanese culture and take your shoes off when you go inside.

01:23:53.000 That you can be a different race in Japan but you should follow the customs because that's what Japan is.

01:23:58.000 That's what a country is.

01:23:59.000 A series of customs and culture and behavior and understandings.

01:24:03.000 Mutual understandings.

01:24:05.000 Not homogeneity but unity.

01:24:09.000 Anyway, so Peter is a fantastic author.

01:24:11.000 You gotta read his book, The Worm and the Apple, about the teachers' unions and how they've destroyed education.

01:24:16.000 Another great book he wrote is Alien Nation.

01:24:19.000 There's two Alien Nations.

01:24:20.000 One's a sci-fi horror book.

01:24:22.000 I don't like when words end with a consonant and start with the same consonant, like duct tape.

01:24:27.000 Alien nation should be nation of aliens by the way Peter so disappointed with him there But anyway Peter Brimelow obsessed with his kids great family man had a big Christmas party at that hate castle That was awesome always willing to debate.

01:24:40.000 He's cancelled now

01:24:42.000 Despite writing two bestsellers and being an incredible writer on the economy, a great economist, great financial Wall Street Journal guy, he'll never be able to write a book again, because he has sinned, and he is called for strong borders.

01:24:55.000 Which, by the way, in the days of Obama and Bill Clinton, was a perfectly reasonable belief.

01:25:02.000 It still is, as far as I'm concerned, but it's verboten today.

01:25:05.000 So, persona non grata, evil vampire lives in a castle, hung out with a million times, awesome dude, great dinner parties, great conversation.

01:25:14.000 Although if I did have to criticize him, the guy needs a fucking hearing aid.

01:25:17.000 Like this, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, what was that again?

01:25:20.000 Sorry, sorry.

01:25:21.000 Dude, just get a fucking, I'll pay for it.

01:25:23.000 I don't want to say things twice.

01:25:25.000 That's the worst thing you could say about PB.

01:25:28.000 Oh, interesting.

01:25:28.000 Same initials.

01:25:30.000 Next, Nick Fuentes.

01:25:32.000 This guy may have inspired this entire list.

01:25:35.000 Him and Kumia inspired this entire list.

01:25:37.000 When I think of Nick, I think of a cartoon character giggling.

01:25:42.000 The guy is constantly, he's like that chick.

01:25:44.000 No, he's kind of like this guy.

01:25:46.000 The Billy Crystal character in Monsters, Inc.

01:25:48.000 Mike Wazowski.

01:25:50.000 I'm sorry, Ryan?

01:25:50.000 Mike Wazowski.

01:25:51.000 Of course, Ryan knows all their names perfectly.

01:25:53.000 This is Ryan's literature, by the way.

01:25:55.000 Some are interested in Dickens and that similar, you know, the canon of the romantics.

01:26:00.000 This is Ryan's canon.

01:26:02.000 I remember because my childhood, unlike yours, wasn't a million kajillion years ago.

01:26:06.000 So I do remember that very well, yeah.

01:26:09.000 I remember my childhood very well.

01:26:10.000 It included Dennis the Menace of Beano Comics, and Nasher, and Desperate Dan, and Danny's Tranny was a transistor radio.

01:26:17.000 And playing Jackson Hopscotch.

01:26:19.000 A multi-gender person.

01:26:20.000 I remember Minnie the Minx, Billy Whiz.

01:26:23.000 Cracking open a fire hydrant to play in the street.

01:26:26.000 Iron Brew.

01:26:27.000 I remember Cadbury Flakes.

01:26:29.000 I remember Terry's Orange.

01:26:31.000 Anyway.

01:26:34.000 Naughty in big ears.

01:26:35.000 But Nick Fuentes, SPLC, he's so evil he can't fly.

01:26:40.000 He's so evil he can't travel.

01:26:42.000 He can't stay at Airbnb.

01:26:43.000 He can't have a place to stay in, sort of like Jesus in the manger.

01:26:47.000 He can't be on an airplane.

01:26:48.000 He's not allowed to travel.

01:26:49.000 That's verboten.

01:26:50.000 Because of his beliefs what a pussy culture we live in when shit stains like this son of a preacher by the way so he's just he's just traded in God for the the dogma of the left that's his religion he's still a preacher and you're not allowed to tolerate this person because

01:27:08.000 You don't support his views.

01:27:09.000 Now, when it comes to the Holocaust, he's a revisionist, they like to call themselves, they say it wasn't six million, it was less, they weren't gassed, they were starved to death, it was horrible, but we need to get over it.

01:27:19.000 I disagree with that, I think it was six million Jews, but who gives a shit?

01:27:24.000 If I met someone who didn't think that Mao killed 80 million, I'd go, you know you're wrong about the Great Leap Forward, right?

01:27:29.000 Or if they didn't think that Stalin was responsible for 40 million deaths, I'd go, dude, Stalin was, actually, I have talked to Nick about Stalin, he likes Stalin.

01:27:37.000 He goes, you really whipped Russia into shape.

01:27:39.000 I go, dude, he murdered 40 million people.

01:27:41.000 He's literally tens of times worse than Hitler.

01:27:46.000 He's like, well, Hitler was, you know, we need to stop talking about how evil Hitler was.

01:27:49.000 OK, I disagree with you on that, sir.

01:27:51.000 Mao, Hitler, Stalin, bad.

01:27:53.000 Who cares?

01:27:55.000 Guess what?

01:27:56.000 I've got some great news for you people watching.

01:27:58.000 If you disagree with me, you are allowed to travel.

01:28:01.000 If you disagree with me, you are allowed to sleep in a place.

01:28:04.000 I permit that.

01:28:05.000 If you really want to see who Nick is, check out the Just Pearly things that just went on.

01:28:09.000 He's just sitting there talking and explaining his views.

01:28:12.000 If you got a problem with it, go fuck yourself.

01:28:13.000 Big deal!

01:28:14.000 Why are we so scared of ideas?

01:28:17.000 I'm getting sidetracked here.

01:28:18.000 The reason I bring him up is because I was just thinking, like, whenever I talk to him we're laughing about something.

01:28:24.000 Laughing about, I don't know, rap or I was laughing about him having a drink thrown in his face.

01:28:29.000 Or he got ketchup thrown at him.

01:28:31.000 I was like, dude, I saw you throw the drink back.

01:28:34.000 You need adrenaline control.

01:28:35.000 By the time it left your cup, it was missed.

01:28:38.000 Because your heart was pounding so fast, you're like...

01:28:41.000 If you're going to throw a soda at someone, you've got to sort of hi-yah.

01:28:44.000 You want it to maintain its shape as it shoots across the Chick-fil-A onto your enemies.

01:28:52.000 I think we got brunch or breakfast before that, and they gave us a fancy little bottle of ketchup that we brought.

01:28:57.000 And when we met him, we were like, there you go, buddy.

01:28:59.000 Because he got ketchup for him.

01:29:00.000 Oh yeah, because he got ketchup for him.

01:29:01.000 The night before.

01:29:02.000 It was a very funny joke.

01:29:04.000 Yeah, always laughing, always having fun.

01:29:06.000 Like, the guy is constantly smiling.

01:29:09.000 And you're like, this is your devil?

01:29:11.000 Like, when I look at the left's devils, I see murderers, I see pedophiles, I see people involved in disgusting levels of corruption involving millions, sometimes billions of dollars.

01:29:24.000 Look at the retarded President of the United States.

01:29:26.000 We're just learning today about his corruption and him

01:29:30.000 His deals all across the world, using his powers as Vice President, this is back in Obama days, to broker deals around the world involving millions and millions of dollars.

01:29:39.000 We're also hearing about what his daughter, saying that she took inappropriate showers with him.

01:29:43.000 We see him sniffing kids, wrapping his hands around kids.

01:29:46.000 Those are our bad guys!

01:29:48.000 Your bad guys are like, he has bad views about something that happened in World War II.

01:29:53.000 Okay.

01:29:54.000 Like, isn't it amazing that pedophiles on the left are like, well, you did write a pretty convincing dissertation about being attracted to maps, minor attracted people.

01:30:03.000 Actually, you know what?

01:30:04.000 We're going to give you tenure.

01:30:06.000 We're gonna give you tenure.

01:30:06.000 They can have Drag Queen Story Hour, then we find out the guy doing the Drag Queen Story Hour molested kids.

01:30:11.000 All right, well, that's just one example.

01:30:14.000 All those gays who adopted, what do they do?

01:30:16.000 Oh, they use the kid they adopted for pornography.

01:30:19.000 Well, I mean, you have Catholic priests.

01:30:22.000 It was a problem in the 80s and they were gay priests, but you seem to have your priorities all wrong.

01:30:28.000 The villains we see on your side are satanic.

01:30:32.000 The villains on our side are funny dudes you disagree with.

01:30:36.000 And the point of this whole green screen is to say they're not just funny dudes.

01:30:39.000 They're some of the funnest people I've ever partied with.

01:30:42.000 Like I've toured with bands and hung out with comedians.

01:30:46.000 They're not as funny and as interesting as the people on this list.

01:30:50.000 That's the crux of this video I'm trying to make.

01:30:53.000 Comedians are actually kind of depressing in real life.

01:30:56.000 Next.

01:30:59.000 Alex Jones.

01:31:00.000 You know what Alex Jones wants to do?

01:31:02.000 He wants to punch you.

01:31:04.000 All right, how about this?

01:31:06.000 You get five punches right here, and then I get one.

01:31:11.000 I'm like, okay, I box.

01:31:12.000 And I've had a little brother.

01:31:13.000 So not only do I get the concept of you've got to use your whole hip and everything to get a punch, I also know the charley horse rules of if you want to leave a bruise, you kind of got to point your knuckles down.

01:31:24.000 Like if you want to get a good charley horse, you got to kind of go bonk like that.

01:31:27.000 It's not about power, the charley horse.

01:31:28.000 So I'm trying to combine the two, and I'm punching him.

01:31:30.000 Dude, it's like punching wood.

01:31:33.000 It fucked up my wrist punching him, those whatever five punches he gave me.

01:31:36.000 Then he punched me.

01:31:38.000 I thought the SWAT team was using a battery gram to get inside my body.

01:31:41.000 It was like, kaboom!

01:31:44.000 And I moved about four feet.

01:31:45.000 Let's go get some steak.

01:31:46.000 We're getting steaks in Austin.

01:31:48.000 People are coming up to him.

01:31:49.000 My mom loves you.

01:31:50.000 You're a huge inspiration.

01:31:51.000 This is in Austin, by the way.

01:31:52.000 Berkeley of Texas.

01:31:54.000 And he's, isn't that fucking delicious?

01:31:55.000 Can you believe how good that is?

01:31:58.000 And a typical thing with Alex Jones,

01:32:03.000 Very few people that can do those kind of punches where being punched in the arm feels like you're punched in the nuts.

01:32:09.000 See, I'm trying to get my knuckle down in it.

01:32:13.000 It's not a normal boxing punch.

01:32:15.000 But anyway.

01:32:22.000 It's like, you think he grew up with a bunch of brothers, you know?

01:32:30.000 No, he's faking it.

01:32:31.000 Anyway.

01:32:31.000 It's like a dad fakes his kid hanging out.

01:32:33.000 Oh, that's a good one, bucko.

01:32:35.000 It's not a very, like, this is a glamorous punch, but that doesn't leave a black bruise the way getting at an angle does.

01:32:41.000 Anyway.

01:32:43.000 One time I had a conversation with Alex Jones, an honest conversation, about how much would you have to be paid to eat out Hillary Clinton.

01:32:49.000 And we talked about it for, like, half an hour.

01:32:53.000 Like, okay, well you gotta understand, you remember on that show, Silicon Valley, where they talk about dicks?

01:32:59.000 Like how many dicks you could jerk off in an hour?

01:33:02.000 And they start getting into the physics of it, and they make a whole chart about how you could have one dick here and one dick here, and that would be two dicks, and they work out, like,

01:33:08.000 You could jerk off.

01:33:10.000 They spend like a day on it.

01:33:12.000 That's the kind of thing Alex Jones wants to do, outside of politics.

01:33:15.000 And it's like, we both came with a number of like a million dollars, but then we realized the problem is the next time you go to go down on your wife, you have that Hillary thing in your head.

01:33:23.000 So now you've ruined pussy eating, possibly for your life.

01:33:26.000 So now the question becomes, how much would you have to be paid to destroy pussy eating forever?

01:33:32.000 The media portrays this psychotic evil man who says nothing but bullshit.

01:33:37.000 Meanwhile, out of the 10 million things he's said since public access in the 90s, he's been wrong like once.

01:33:43.000 Sandy Hook.

01:33:44.000 Okay.

01:33:45.000 CNN is... What about the New York Times and the weapons of mass destruction that we sent?

01:33:49.000 How many people to die?

01:33:50.000 5,000 teenagers to die in Iraq based on the New York Times' myth.

01:33:54.000 No, no problem.

01:33:55.000 Don't worry about that.

01:33:56.000 That's fine.

01:33:56.000 That's a good myth.

01:33:59.000 CNN is wrong on a daily basis with nothing burger after nothing burger.

01:34:03.000 Look at the Donald Trump fucking Steele dossier.

01:34:07.000 We had Obama spying on the Trump administration.

01:34:11.000 The left has lies piled to the ceiling.

01:34:14.000 Alex Jones makes one mistake and says, I don't know, I don't think Sandy Hook was real because

01:34:18.000 His fans go and harass the parents of Sandy Hook.

01:34:22.000 He's got to pay what?

01:34:23.000 30 million dollars?

01:34:24.000 That would be insane.

01:34:25.000 No, billions.

01:34:25.000 I think it's up to over a trillion now.

01:34:28.000 Totally unpayable bills.

01:34:29.000 And he just keeps firing away.

01:34:32.000 So the Alex Jones that the media has portrayed is the opposite of the regular guy you meet.

01:34:40.000 A lot of these guys on this list too like Kumia, Nick, Alex Jones, they remind me of dudes in bands like who have been on a tour bus for a long time and they know how to like riff with dudes and let's do shots and like let's see how long you can hold your breath.

01:34:54.000 You know what I mean?

01:34:55.000 Like fun dude shit.

01:34:58.000 And the reason they've chosen this vocation is they genuinely care about other people.

01:35:02.000 The left cares about themselves as individuals.

01:35:04.000 Hi, I'm Dylan Mulvaney.

01:35:06.000 I've been a girl for 365 days.

01:35:08.000 Me, me, me, me, me.

01:35:09.000 Alex Jones, Peter Brimelow.

01:35:11.000 We need borders.

01:35:12.000 We need to preserve this.

01:35:13.000 We need to preserve that.

01:35:14.000 We need to make sure there's a future for America.

01:35:17.000 You're talking about hundreds of millions of people versus one.

01:35:21.000 And are you seeing a pattern here?

01:35:22.000 These guys are anti-establishment.

01:35:24.000 They are anti-DNC.

01:35:25.000 They're anti-corruption.

01:35:26.000 Therefore, they must go.

01:35:28.000 Next.

01:35:30.000 Number eight, Roger Stone.

01:35:31.000 Much more mellow than all of these other dudes.

01:35:35.000 Doesn't want to do shots with you, but a great guy to have dinner with.

01:35:40.000 It's funny, I had dinner with him and Tucker Carlson once, who I think is next on the list, yeah.

01:35:45.000 And we were like, yeah, corruption, these people, oh my god, they're the death of mankind, you know.

01:35:49.000 And then I would say, they're disgusting perverts, too, these sodomites.

01:35:53.000 And Roger and Tucker, we'd all be on the same page, and then whenever I said perverts or something, Roger would be like,

01:35:58.000 Well, I don't know.

01:35:59.000 Chaka Sangu, you know?

01:36:01.000 Each to his own taste.

01:36:02.000 I was like, oh yeah, you're kind of a sexaholic.

01:36:06.000 Not a sexaholic, but he has his fun with the ladies.

01:36:10.000 And I obviously have no problem with that.

01:36:11.000 So he's a fun and interesting dude.

01:36:13.000 He wants to show you how to make spaghetti.

01:36:17.000 Oh yeah, the left wants him to rot in jail and then in hell.

01:36:21.000 Because Roger Stone told Trump he should run for office.

01:36:21.000 Why?

01:36:25.000 That's his crime.

01:36:26.000 What is his actual crime on the books?

01:36:29.000 Did you get an email from Julian Assange?

01:36:31.000 I don't think so.

01:36:31.000 Yeah, you did.

01:36:33.000 You just lied.

01:36:34.000 And that means you're disrupting an investigation.

01:36:36.000 That means you need to go to jail for 10 years, and because you're 70, you'll die in there, motherfucker.

01:36:41.000 Don't lie about emails!

01:36:43.000 John Brennan does the exact same thing.

01:36:43.000 That's his crime.

01:36:46.000 He gets a contributorship at CNN.

01:36:48.000 Because he's on the side of the establishment.

01:36:50.000 And I think John Brennan's a fucking Muslim, but that's for another day.

01:36:55.000 Talk to Roger Stone about JFK.

01:36:59.000 The guy is the most interesting person I've ever spoken to, and he's got what Jared Taylor calls a sticky brain.

01:37:06.000 So, I've read a million books and knew a million things.

01:37:11.000 It all fell out the back.

01:37:13.000 My brain is like a truck with the flap down, and as we go over bumps, information falls out the back.

01:37:18.000 His fucking mind is a steel trap.

01:37:20.000 And he remembers everything.

01:37:21.000 So when you talk to him about the politics of the 60s, 70s, 80s, talk to him about Reagan or Nixon or JFK, he remembers like the Secretary of State then, every single detail.

01:37:31.000 Fascinating dude!

01:37:33.000 And again, the thing I find in common with all these is like, you want a drink?

01:37:37.000 How are you doing?

01:37:38.000 Like buying shots.

01:37:38.000 You all right?

01:37:39.000 Try this.

01:37:40.000 You got to try this.

01:37:40.000 This is delicious.

01:37:41.000 Look at that.

01:37:43.000 Telling you tips.

01:37:44.000 Hey, the steakhouses are always full.

01:37:45.000 Keene's is always full on a Friday, but go for lunch.

01:37:49.000 Get the cheeseburger.

01:37:50.000 The cheeseburger at a steakhouse?

01:37:52.000 It's another world.

01:37:53.000 It'll blow your mind.

01:37:54.000 Fights you over for lunch.

01:37:55.000 They're always like, get over here.

01:37:56.000 What are you doing for lunch?

01:37:56.000 Come on.

01:37:57.000 Come on over here.

01:37:58.000 You know what I mean?

01:37:59.000 And I've heard Trump was that way too.

01:38:01.000 I've never met him, but I heard he's very like,

01:38:03.000 So what's going on, does your daughter still have that skin thing on her nose?

01:38:06.000 Did you get that checked out?

01:38:06.000 It can't be cancer, she's too young.

01:38:08.000 Then he remembers like two weeks later, so you did check it out?

01:38:11.000 Yeah, that's kind of a concern.

01:38:14.000 So is she, now she's thinking about what, Bard?

01:38:16.000 Ooh, pretty lefty school.

01:38:18.000 Does she have the grades?

01:38:19.000 Like, the Secret Service used to have to rush him.

01:38:22.000 Go, sir, don't worry about my daughter, she's fine.

01:38:24.000 No, my son, yes, he's varsity, junior varsity.

01:38:27.000 Yeah, he wanted varsity.

01:38:28.000 Sir, we gotta go, we gotta go.

01:38:29.000 He's like, okay.

01:38:30.000 I bet he could have got varsity.

01:38:33.000 All of these people care about you and the left hates that because they're about individualism.

01:38:39.000 Me, me, me, me, me.

01:38:41.000 I don't want to disparage individualism.

01:38:43.000 That's gay.

01:38:43.000 Fuck the team.

01:38:44.000 So for all the villainous, is that a word?

01:38:47.000 Uh, for all the evil that surrounds Roger Stone, when you talk to the left, he's one of the sweetest, kindest, and most interesting people I've ever met.

01:38:58.000 Top tier.

01:38:59.000 If he was a fucking mechanic, I'd go, you gotta meet this fucking guy, Roger Stone, who works on my car.

01:39:04.000 The guy's fucking fascinating.

01:39:05.000 Let's do a dinner thing together.

01:39:06.000 You gotta hear this guy talk.

01:39:09.000 Next is Tucker Carlson, I assume.

01:39:12.000 Yeah, I remember having dinner.

01:39:13.000 I told you already about him and Roger.

01:39:15.000 We had dinner at this steakhouse in DC and Roger had just been attacked by some dude who was really benevolent when he met him, but he was lying.

01:39:24.000 And then he, this is Roger Stone I'm talking about, then the guy had a few drinks and he finally got his Irish up and then said like, you're a fucking Nazi on the way out.

01:39:34.000 But we had he had proud boys volunteering to look after so I walk in the restaurant There's like four proud boys at the table.

01:39:39.000 I mean at the bar.

01:39:40.000 What the fuck are you doing here?

01:39:40.000 Hey guys.

01:39:42.000 We're here for Roger, okay?

01:39:44.000 Protecting the guy from getting his ass kicked by lunatics who jumped him They jumped his wife beat the living shit out of his wife when he was walking the dog You don't hear about any of this in the media because all you know is they're villains you don't know about them getting constantly attacked

01:39:56.000 Wanting to murder.

01:39:57.000 Ann Coulter was almost jumped at a restaurant.

01:40:00.000 The only reason they chickened out, Antifa turned around because Proud Boys were there to make sure she's okay.

01:40:05.000 The depiction, the media, the perception versus a reality with these people is shocking.

01:40:10.000 It's propaganda.

01:40:11.000 It's Soviet levels propaganda.

01:40:14.000 All lies.

01:40:16.000 So Tucker Carlson is a Nazi because he discusses replacement theory, which is a white supremacist talking point.

01:40:23.000 The second part of that is true.

01:40:24.000 It is a white supremacist talking point.

01:40:27.000 So is the importance of having food in case the shit hits the fan.

01:40:33.000 So is the importance of Christianity.

01:40:36.000 All dogs are mammals, all cats are mammals, all dogs are not cats.

01:40:41.000 Nazis use this symbol because it means liberals are nuts about racism and it's fun to fuck with them.

01:40:46.000 You know who else uses this?

01:40:48.000 Everyone who thinks liberals are nuts about racism and they likes to fuck with them.

01:40:52.000 It means this.

01:40:53.000 It means fuck liberals.

01:40:54.000 But they go, no this is a white supremacist thing.

01:40:57.000 Hitler used toilet paper.

01:41:00.000 I use toilet paper.

01:41:01.000 That doesn't mean that we have the same views.

01:41:04.000 So the replacement theory is offensive if you believe that Jews are purposely replacing whites because they hate whites and they want to destroy America.

01:41:16.000 Whites are being replaced!

01:41:18.000 The DNC is very open about that.

01:41:20.000 So, I know, um, minutiae, I know counterintuitive thinking, I know nuance is verboten on the left, but there's some nuance here.

01:41:29.000 The far-right Nazis think it's a Jewish conspiracy.

01:41:33.000 The normal not-lefts, like me and Tucker and everyone else on this list, notice that it's happening.

01:41:38.000 But we don't blame the Jews.

01:41:39.000 I personally blame the DNC, because they've noticed that open borders mean more votes.

01:41:45.000 If Hispanics, if Mexicans started voting right, the border would be made of gold, it would be 60 feet high, and it would go completely across the southern United States.

01:41:55.000 There'd be zero chance of Mexicans getting in if they didn't vote right.

01:41:58.000 And the fact that Mexicans are displacing American natives, when I say natives I don't mean Indians obviously, I mean the native population, they don't give a shit.

01:42:10.000 There's no grand plan there.

01:42:12.000 So replacement theory is not a theory.

01:42:14.000 It's a fact.

01:42:15.000 It's happening.

01:42:16.000 The motive behind it is the only thing we disagree on.

01:42:18.000 And Tucker doesn't agree with the Nazis' idea of what the motive is.

01:42:23.000 He agrees with the normal idea of what the motive is.

01:42:25.000 And this is the guy, of course, from the Anti-Defamation League, a company that was formed to defend a Jewish rapist murderer.

01:42:33.000 They decided to take the anti-Semitic angle after he was lynched.

01:42:37.000 He was lynched because he was going to be let free.

01:42:38.000 Anyway, fuck the ADL.

01:42:40.000 Fuck Jonathan Greenblatt.

01:42:41.000 And this guy,

01:42:43.000 Dinner with him a bunch of times.

01:42:44.000 Fucking hilarious dude.

01:42:46.000 Doesn't necessarily want to talk about politics.

01:42:48.000 Let's talk about chicks.

01:42:49.000 Let's talk about sex.

01:42:50.000 Let's talk about about our wives.

01:42:52.000 Let's talk about our kids.

01:42:53.000 Boarding school.

01:42:55.000 He gave me a great tip once.

01:42:56.000 He goes, you know, the thing about boarding school is teenagers naturally have this sort of aversion, right, to their parents.

01:43:01.000 There's this conflict there that's that's genetic.

01:43:03.000 It's natural.

01:43:05.000 But when they're at boarding school, the teenager has this adverse relationship with the school and the teachers.

01:43:11.000 It's natural, right?

01:43:12.000 And he's like, this teacher's trying to tell me what to do.

01:43:14.000 We want to ride our machines without being hassled by the man.

01:43:17.000 And then the parent is like, yeah, I'm spending 60 grand a year for you to go to this school.

01:43:21.000 They better be teaching you well.

01:43:23.000 So now there's sort of a unity there.

01:43:25.000 He also, I go, dude, you didn't tell me sending your daughter off to school.

01:43:29.000 Holy shit.

01:43:29.000 It's like a steamroller being run over.

01:43:31.000 And he was like, yeah.

01:43:32.000 He goes, even today I could just mention and start crying.

01:43:36.000 So, you know, this guy wants to help you and your family.

01:43:40.000 He's also funny, and I think the thing about Tucker is, and I get this from dudes in bands, I think because he went to boarding school as a kid, those guys, I noticed this with the band The Strokes, too.

01:43:49.000 Actually, The Strokes have both things that make you funny, being at an all-boys school and going on tour with bands.

01:43:55.000 Fred Armisen is funny because he went on tour with a lot of bands.

01:43:57.000 But the thing about being with all dudes at a boys school when you're 13 is you become good at riffing.

01:44:03.000 Breaking each other's balls, talking about absolutely anything.

01:44:06.000 Like talk to Tucker Carlson about lawns.

01:44:09.000 The guy's read every book there is about grass maintenance.

01:44:12.000 If his lawn at his house in Florida, there is not one yellow blade.

01:44:16.000 He's meticulous, totally obsessed with having a great lawn and maintaining a great lawn.

01:44:21.000 The guy, the guy up at his place in Maine, he fucking eats what he shoots.

01:44:25.000 Like if he's alone up there, because I think his kids are all away at school now, they're all grown.

01:44:29.000 He's just like hunting and stripping.

01:44:31.000 Like when I say stripping, I mean working at a strip club showing off his cock.

01:44:34.000 No, stripping the skin off the meat.

01:44:37.000 So very similar to Roger Stone.

01:44:39.000 He's like a funnier, more rambunctious Roger Stone.

01:44:42.000 Villain, racist.

01:44:45.000 Not one of these people on this list is remotely racist, and some of them are more politically correct than you.

01:44:51.000 And number 10, this guy is seen as an absolute nightmare.

01:44:55.000 He started a hate group.

01:44:58.000 Just having him on your show will violate your terms of service.

01:45:01.000 You'll be permanently suspended if you give him a platform, I believe.

01:45:05.000 Is the verbiage, uh, I'm a violent white supremacist hosting a comedy tour?

01:45:11.000 Like even that, even that headline, this, what is his name, Justin Horowitz?

01:45:15.000 Doesn't that sound weird to you?

01:45:16.000 That a violent white supremacist is also doing a comedy tour?

01:45:21.000 Like, who's a violent- there was that Nazi skinhead band in Britain, Combat 18.

01:45:25.000 Not band.

01:45:26.000 Gang.

01:45:26.000 Crew.

01:45:27.000 Do you really see them having a comedy tour?

01:45:31.000 As they go about- so that's the perception, of course.

01:45:33.000 That's why I'm banned and there's riots at Penn State when I dare to talk.

01:45:37.000 I'm actually a sweetie.

01:45:39.000 I'm actually one of the nicest, funniest, kindest people you'll ever meet.

01:45:44.000 I leave alarmingly large tips.

01:45:47.000 I've never been MeToo'd.

01:45:49.000 I've never attacked anyone.

01:45:50.000 I'm not malicious.

01:45:52.000 I'm one of the nicest guys I know.

01:45:55.000 When I was young, I was the only guy in town.

01:46:00.000 And I think the takeaway from all this is the left doesn't like anyone on this list because they're charming.

01:46:07.000 They don't support leftist values, they support Trump, not Ann anymore, but they support traditionalism, conservatism, they're patriots, they're anti-establishment, they're anti-vax, they're anti-Big Pharma, they're pro-unity, they're pro-independence, they're pro-freedom, and the fear from the establishment is

01:46:28.000 You might fall in love with us.

01:46:30.000 That's why we're banned.

01:46:51.000 Oh, shoot.

01:46:53.000 I forgot the link for this, but there's a new show out on, I don't know, not HBO, NBC, where some lunatic said Sandy Hook didn't happen and got everyone killed and he's evil.

01:47:08.000 Did I?

01:47:08.000 I didn't include that link, did I?

01:47:10.000 I don't see it, but I'm looking.

01:47:11.000 Uh-oh.

01:47:12.000 Low battery.

01:47:14.000 Your Mac will sleep soon unless plugged into a power cord.

01:47:18.000 Bitch.

01:47:19.000 It's a show about Alex Jones?

01:47:22.000 Yeah, just look up Sandy Hook Base TV Show with female Alex Jones.

01:47:33.000 My computer might die soon.

01:47:35.000 I'm really down to almost nothing.

01:47:37.000 You do have the phone.

01:47:39.000 Yeah, yeah, no, I also have a fucking power cord, but did you find it yet?

01:47:44.000 No, I typed in exactly that.

01:47:46.000 Sandy, S-A-N-D-Y-S, hook, based, TV, show.

01:47:52.000 Right, and then female Alex Jones.

01:47:55.000 Yep.

01:47:56.000 Nothing?

01:47:57.000 Nope.

01:47:58.000 Okay, I guess I'll forward it to you then, if that's easier.

01:48:02.000 I don't understand why you would have different emails from me.

01:48:07.000 I'm just a gay homosexual.

01:48:11.000 S-A-N-D-Y-S.

01:48:12.000 No apostrophe.

01:48:16.000 Okay.

01:48:20.000 I'll just do female Alex.

01:48:22.000 Female Alex Jones.

01:48:23.000 That's good.

01:48:23.000 Female Alex Jones.

01:48:24.000 So what were you typing in that was wrong before?

01:48:26.000 The exact thing that you said before.

01:48:28.000 That's not true, Ryan.

01:48:31.000 You're never wrong.

01:48:31.000 Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

01:48:38.000 My son was killed.

01:48:40.000 Shootings like these, they're preventable.

01:48:42.000 Let's just see some proof.

01:48:43.000 Are we in the mailbag?

01:48:46.000 We're not suckers!

01:48:48.000 She has thousands of followers.

01:48:50.000 They're never gonna stop.

01:48:51.000 Ever!

01:48:51.000 None of this is real.

01:48:53.000 How do we know we're real?

01:48:55.000 We're gonna get you.

01:48:56.000 No more lies!

01:49:01.000 Accused all new next Tuesday at 9 on Fox.

01:49:06.000 That looks like shit.

01:49:08.000 My kids stole my power cord.

01:49:10.000 Damn.

01:49:11.000 They took it out of my briefcase.

01:49:12.000 I've been robbed.

01:49:13.000 That's a power... Robbed?

01:49:14.000 Blame-a-bye!

01:49:16.000 That's a great thing my dad taught me, by the way.

01:49:19.000 He was always, when we would compete, he was always, like, competitive.

01:49:24.000 He wanted to win, but he wanted me to win, too.

01:49:26.000 You know what I mean?

01:49:27.000 Right.

01:49:28.000 And when we were playing pool, it was never like, ha-ha, you missed it, bitch.

01:49:32.000 Sometimes there was.

01:49:33.000 Like, if I was way too soft, he'd go, Loreen, you got a girl!

01:49:37.000 You got your wish!

01:49:38.000 Because I didn't hit it hard enough to go in.

01:49:41.000 But if it was a good shot and it just missed by a pube, he'd always go, robbed blind, my boy.

01:49:47.000 Robbed blind.

01:49:48.000 Sorry, I had to go check for a power cord.

01:49:50.000 Did you watch the whole thing?

01:49:51.000 Oh yeah.

01:49:52.000 So Alex Jones is the chick.

01:49:55.000 Yeah.

01:49:55.000 I guess they don't have her having a big, big show, but thousands of followers and she just does it with a ring light in her room.

01:50:01.000 That's probably a better budget thing to do.

01:50:07.000 Okay, you're right.

01:50:10.000 Alex Jones, Sandy Hook was bad.

01:50:11.000 What should his fine be?

01:50:12.000 Should it be a trillion?

01:50:15.000 What should it be?

01:50:17.000 Zero is what it should be.

01:50:19.000 That's the way it works.

01:50:21.000 You say, I was wrong.

01:50:23.000 Oh, before we, let's get to the mailbag, but before we do, let's give a little shout out to Anita Fashions.

01:50:28.000 I sent you their schedule.

01:50:33.000 He's on JV, boys!

01:50:35.000 No way, cool!

01:50:38.000 That was stressful.

01:50:40.000 And to that, we should say, congratulations.

01:50:47.000 Wait, the few emoji doesn't look happy.

01:50:49.000 It looks like you're crying.

01:50:52.000 Um, yeah, Nita Fashions is going to be in your hood soon.

01:50:58.000 And you know what I saw today at the f***ing Shiznit?

01:51:03.000 Um, a green corduroy suit.

01:51:06.000 I thought I'm getting that and I've also decided recently I'm gonna get Malcolm McLaren suit in the great rock and roll swindle and see if they can even make me that little flap and Then I can easily make a cash from chaos t-shirt right lap me up doggy Have you got that well?

01:51:25.000 I've got this oh You already made that all fancy.

01:51:31.000 Oh, I sure did

01:51:32.000 Okay, so let me read it out here, because they WhatsAppped me.

01:51:37.000 So they're in New York.

01:51:38.000 So again, go to, you can call them on his mobile, but you can go to Nita Fashion's, their website or their Instagram page.

01:51:46.000 You can DM them and make an appointment, as you see here.

01:51:50.000 They're in New York, March 28th till April 2nd at the Towers at New York Lotte Palace Hotel.

01:51:57.000 Can I get a suit?

01:51:59.000 Sure.

01:51:59.000 Yeah!

01:52:01.000 Uh, they're in Boston right after that, the next day, April 3rd to 5th.

01:52:08.000 And I'm telling you what hotel they're at, but I don't really have to.

01:52:12.000 Cause you're going to, obviously when you make your appointment, they're going to tell you what hotel to be at.

01:52:16.000 Um, Washington DC then right after April 6, 7, 8.

01:52:22.000 And then they go down to Houston, Texas.

01:52:25.000 April 10, 11, 12.

01:52:27.000 Dallas, Texas.

01:52:28.000 April 17th to 19th.

01:52:30.000 Chicago.

01:52:31.000 Oh, I'm going to get my cousin to go there.

01:52:33.000 April 20 to 23.

01:52:34.000 Oh, you know what?

01:52:35.000 Let me write that down on my to-do list.

01:52:37.000 They got here.

01:52:37.000 If you go to AnitaFashions.com, the tour schedule, you type in schedule.

01:52:40.000 Bam.

01:52:41.000 Bam.

01:52:41.000 Look at that.

01:52:43.000 LA.

01:52:44.000 April 27th to 29th San Francisco April 30th to May 1st and then the party's over and remember you should be at our insanely funny comedy show on April 1st which is next week right yes and it's not a April Fool's prank

01:53:02.000 No.

01:53:03.000 Some people ask me about that.

01:53:05.000 We would not do that.

01:53:06.000 That's fucking lame.

01:53:07.000 No, I wouldn't do something like that.

01:53:08.000 What about your fake arrest?

01:53:09.000 I was worried.

01:53:10.000 Yeah, I'd have you worried.

01:53:11.000 That's free.

01:53:13.000 I'm not going to steal your fucking money.

01:53:14.000 I'm not going to steal your money.

01:53:15.000 I promise.

01:53:16.000 I hereby commit, I'll never have a fundraiser where it doesn't go to the thing.

01:53:21.000 I swear on my life.

01:53:22.000 And we want to make you laugh.

01:53:24.000 And we have a trailer for the... Oh yeah, let's show the commercial.

01:53:27.000 I can't believe I forgot to show it yesterday, by the way.

01:53:30.000 My bad, too.

01:53:31.000 I was feeling a little sick and stupid.

01:53:33.000 We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal.

01:53:41.000 Who taught you to hate the color of your skin to such extent that you bleach to get like the white man?

01:53:51.000 And there was a fat kid, I think his name was Piggy, in the Bass Street Kids.

01:54:02.000 After years of bigotry, transphobia, and ableism, the boys are getting the band back together for the end racism tour.

01:54:10.000 Get your tickets now at tinyorl.com slash censored live.

01:54:17.000 Well done.

01:54:17.000 Good stuff.

01:54:18.000 I have no notes.

01:54:19.000 Nice.

01:54:20.000 I really did bare bones on that, but I think sometimes that's what it takes.

01:54:23.000 Yeah.

01:54:24.000 It's all about la livre rouge, the red book.

01:54:26.000 You take the book first and you put the red in.

01:54:29.000 Don't just take the red and try to make a book out of it.

01:54:32.000 Start with what people need and when they need it.

01:54:34.000 I need this by today.

01:54:36.000 Okay.

01:54:36.000 It's going to be shitty.

01:54:37.000 Good.

01:54:39.000 It doesn't have to be the fucking Godfather.

01:54:40.000 All right, we're going real long here on today's ep on St.

01:54:44.000 Patrick's Day.

01:54:45.000 I want to get back to drinking.

01:54:47.000 Not that I've ever stopped, but let's check out the mailbag.

01:54:52.000 Oh wait, one more thing.

01:54:54.000 I did want to mention this before, but I thought it was like too early to bring it up.

01:54:57.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.

01:55:02.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

01:55:08.000 Let me touch it.

01:55:09.000 I think that would really be good, in addition to the show, at least.

01:55:14.000 Racism allegations!

01:55:15.000 Why are so obsessed with deflecting racism allegations?

01:55:18.000 I'd like to ask you, why are so terrible at writing a sentence?

01:55:24.000 It's no different than deflecting transphobia allegations.

01:55:26.000 As you say, transphobia is perfectly natural.

01:55:28.000 Racism is also natural.

01:55:29.000 It's perfectly natural to prefer your in-group.

01:55:32.000 Look at neighborhoods.

01:55:33.000 Yes, everyone does it.

01:55:35.000 Everyone self-segregates.

01:55:37.000 I'm adding my own notes here.

01:55:38.000 There's no external force causing this.

01:55:40.000 Diversity is a myth.

01:55:41.000 We all prefer our group.

01:55:42.000 Blah blah blah blah blah.

01:55:43.000 The way you extensively try your best to convince people that you're not racist is a relentless boomer cringe.

01:55:51.000 And it shows that you don't get it.

01:55:53.000 When you defend yourself against it, you're doing a little dance for the retards who don't understand nature and who reject nature in favor of worldview of kindness and rainbows.

01:55:59.000 Fucking let it go.

01:56:01.000 It's embarrassing.

01:56:02.000 Okay?

01:56:04.000 Good points in there.

01:56:06.000 Hi Gavin and company, I wanna share a few more reasons for your subscribers to buy a suit.

01:56:11.000 Wait, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

01:56:13.000 I gotta, before we read that.

01:56:16.000 Jump the medic.

01:56:17.000 What?

01:56:18.000 No, no, we're gonna get to that.

01:56:19.000 Okay, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.

01:56:22.000 Calm down, calm down.

01:56:27.000 What the fudge?

01:56:30.000 What did this, there was a funny email that someone sent us with this black woman.

01:56:35.000 Oh, I know.

01:56:36.000 I looked up racism.

01:56:36.000 I should have looked racist.

01:56:41.000 Um, fudge.

01:56:43.000 Don't worry.

01:56:43.000 It's going to, it's going to be worth it.

01:56:45.000 Yeah, here we go.

01:56:46.000 Look up Gavin, Gavin, liberal voice, IRL.

01:56:52.000 We'll do more on this later, but you got to see the beginning of this video.

01:56:54.000 Cause it's, it's, it goes well with that last letter.

01:56:59.000 Wait, stop.

01:57:00.000 It's really hard.

01:57:01.000 He doesn't give you any leeway because he's a handsome guy and handsome people are stupid just like bimbos are stupid.

01:57:07.000 He's a himbo.

01:57:08.000 But she was just saying it's not okay to be white.

01:57:12.000 It's just a matter of color and color shouldn't come in the way of anything.

01:57:16.000 That seems pretty fair.

01:57:17.000 It is very fair.

01:57:18.000 How about your shirt?

01:57:18.000 A lot of people that we would speak to today would call what you're saying racist.

01:57:23.000 Yeah, I am racist.

01:57:24.000 What's going on everyone?

01:57:25.000 There we go.

01:57:26.000 What are you eating?

01:57:27.000 Oh, that's like some Mexican shit.

01:57:28.000 Like it's like a chorito?

01:57:30.000 Calico and Esparito, I think.

01:57:33.000 That looks like garbage.

01:57:34.000 Okay, so I want to share a few more reasons for your subscribers to buy a suit from Nita Fashions.

01:57:41.000 Wear a suit when traveling.

01:57:44.000 I agree with that.

01:57:44.000 Flight attendants really love it.

01:57:48.000 It's like you're showing them respect.

01:57:51.000 They know that they're not gonna have to haul you out of the fuselage.

01:57:54.000 Whatever.

01:57:57.000 Yeah.

01:57:57.000 I was once upgraded to first class when the only remaining seat on an overbooked flight was either going to a loudmouth rude customer or to me wearing a suit.

01:58:06.000 Another time I was 50 deep on the waiting list for standby yet in my suit somehow managed to get a boarding pass.

01:58:12.000 Dealing with public or private disputes slash negotiations it's always best to have a suit on.

01:58:16.000 He also adds, I find that it always helps and never hurts to be well-dressed when dealing with public slash private disputes negotiations.

01:58:23.000 You just said the same thing twice.

01:58:25.000 So even dumb people can benefit from having a suit.

01:58:31.000 What the fuck?

01:58:32.000 Here's another brand new point.

01:58:35.000 I wear a suit whenever I have to resolve a dispute, return a product or buy a... I gotta email this guy.

01:58:42.000 A suit dispute.

01:58:43.000 You just said the same thing three times.

01:58:48.000 What?

01:58:51.000 I'm gonna say, do suits also make you repeat things three times?

01:58:59.000 A different suit for each one.

01:59:03.000 What a moron.

01:59:05.000 The last car I bought was six years old and at that time I was still dealing with the consequences of a bankruptcy from 2007.

01:59:11.000 But while I'd been approved by my bank, somehow, once everything was added up, it didn't quite meet the income requirements.

01:59:16.000 So even losers benefit from suits is what I'm getting from this.

01:59:16.000 I went to the dealer.

01:59:21.000 While I can't prove that the suit closed the deal, it certainly didn't hurt.

01:59:24.000 In fact, I remember the finance manager commenting on it.

01:59:26.000 I recommend wearing it in all government-issued photos IDs.

01:59:29.000 I think it smooths the way to have your passport photo.

01:59:31.000 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

01:59:32.000 Okay, so this guy's got some points.

01:59:34.000 He's special needs, but he's right.

01:59:36.000 PS if you get arrested they usually publish the photo from your driver's license.

01:59:39.000 All the more reason to look smart.

01:59:41.000 Sounds like this guy's British.

01:59:44.000 What was the thing I was supposed to do on the letters page?

01:59:50.000 Jump medic?

01:59:51.000 Oh yeah.

01:59:52.000 Jump medic.

01:59:53.000 Here's a little update.

01:59:54.000 The exclusion of LGBTQ plus groups from Staten Island St.

01:59:57.000 Patrick's Day Parade leads to dwindling business and low turnout.

02:00:02.000 That sucks.

02:00:02.000 Low turnout?

02:00:04.000 I wish!

02:00:05.000 It was a mob scene.

02:00:08.000 You know who was in the St.

02:00:08.000 Patrick's Day Parade today?

02:00:10.000 Everyone.

02:00:11.000 Well they said the Staten Island one.

02:00:13.000 Okay.

02:00:13.000 That's probably because it's the Staten Island one.

02:00:16.000 Yeah.

02:00:17.000 This is from today.

02:00:23.000 He's kind of messed up how like you can be like oh have a nice old fun time and you put the O there and then that would be looked as racist if it was a different race.

02:00:32.000 Okay so this guy goes does the kit come with a laryngoscope?

02:00:37.000 I guess that's the thing you stick through your neck.

02:00:39.000 Not sure why you would include a stethoscope unless you can also intubate with that kit.

02:00:46.000 And then he says

02:00:50.000 I saw there's people asking about Narcan and laryngoscope.

02:00:53.000 Our Jump Medic Elite does have Narcan, but it's sold to people who have a medical license.

02:00:57.000 They need to check a box saying they have a license.

02:01:00.000 And laryngoscope is a pretty invasive tool.

02:01:03.000 That's to be used when an endotracheal tube down someone's trachea, which requires, no, that's to be used with

02:01:11.000 I see.

02:01:12.000 An endotracheal tube down someone's trachea, which requires extensive training in regulated narcotics and drugs to paralyze someone.

02:01:21.000 Ah, I see.

02:01:24.000 So it's not that simple.

02:01:25.000 It's not that funny.

02:01:26.000 Why pretend that you don't worry?

02:01:28.000 You think it's funny?

02:01:29.000 Sex and violence.

02:01:32.000 Well, there's no point in putting an endotracheal tube on that dude.

02:01:34.000 He's been beheaded.

02:01:37.000 Medical people are so stupid sometimes.

02:01:40.000 And be shouldered.

02:01:41.000 This may be a...

02:01:45.000 But Scary Perry is going to be coming to the East Coast and performing with Anthony on May 13th in Pottstown, PA.

02:01:51.000 Perry's also going to appear on Anthony's show, as well as Chrissy Meyer's show.

02:01:54.000 See the artwork below for proof.

02:01:55.000 If you feel like you need to get in on this, would you be interested in reprising William Randolph Hearst?

02:02:00.000 Perry is already on edge about leaving his piece of shit apartment to travel.

02:02:03.000 You could really make him go insane.

02:02:05.000 I think it's time that William Randolph Hearst and Perry got in the ring.

02:02:09.000 What do you say, folks at home?

02:02:12.000 I heard- A prairious applause?

02:02:13.000 He was interested.

02:02:14.000 Dude, who made this fucking flyer?

02:02:16.000 Who made a flyer that involved and forgot the date?

02:02:22.000 I feel bad because it might be just like a compound guy.

02:02:26.000 What kind of fucking idiot forgets the date on a flyer that involved?

02:02:30.000 Doors open at 5 p.m.

02:02:32.000 On what day do they open?

02:02:36.000 What a loser.

02:02:37.000 Nay, in part.

02:02:40.000 Kidney transplants are racist?

02:02:42.000 Long time mailer, first time viewer.

02:02:44.000 I am 35, awaiting a kidney transplant.

02:02:45.000 I've been on the donor list and dialysis for just shy of 18 months.

02:02:49.000 I was told last year I had to receive at least one COVID shot even to be on the national list.

02:02:55.000 I'm now being bumped because I'm not black?

02:02:58.000 We are living in South Africa, folks.

02:03:01.000 I attached a letter that was sent to all transplant patients on our online portals for the hospital.

02:03:05.000 And it says, you received this letter because you are registered on the waiting list, blah, blah, blah, to a patient waiting time for kidney cancer registered as black or African American.

02:03:16.000 What about like African Americans who just came from Kenya because they are part of the ruling elite there?

02:03:23.000 And they drive a Ferrari and have a collection of Rolexes.

02:03:27.000 Why did they get a kidney sooner?

02:03:30.000 All kidney transplant programs to look at their waiting list to see if any registered black or african-american candidates could receive waiting time.

02:03:37.000 What is the difference between blacks and african-americans?

02:03:39.000 I've never seen that before.

02:03:40.000 Black or african-american.

02:03:43.000 I thought african-american or are they saying like that's the same word?

02:03:46.000 I don't know because Jamaicans are they african-american?

02:03:50.000 I don't know they're not they're neither of any of that shit.

02:03:53.000 Yeah.

02:03:54.000 Black, African-American, African-American, or Caribbean.

02:03:59.000 Cannons could receive waiting time because, well, anyway, you get the idea.

02:04:02.000 By the way, based on the flyer, you ever see this?

02:04:07.000 Pretty bad, right?

02:04:08.000 Yep, sucks.

02:04:09.000 Now, what about this one?

02:04:12.000 Major improvement.

02:04:13.000 Cluttered, but okay.

02:04:15.000 That was one of my first photoshops.

02:04:16.000 Who likes Art Deco?

02:04:17.000 I love Art Deco, personally.

02:04:19.000 Okay, well, it's well known in the graphic design community as the worst moment in our entire history.

02:04:25.000 Just so you know.

02:04:26.000 What?

02:04:27.000 I disagree.

02:04:27.000 I mean... No, it's not.

02:04:28.000 It's just a fact, Ryan.

02:04:30.000 But what about skyscrapers?

02:04:32.000 Yeah, it's embarrassing.

02:04:33.000 What?!

02:04:34.000 They look like trains because the elites back then in the 20s were all riding trains.

02:04:39.000 So you want everything to look like a train.

02:04:42.000 It's hideous and the fonts are especially bad.

02:04:44.000 All right, let's get to the final vid.

02:04:46.000 I can't wait to throw these papers, boys.

02:04:48.000 That's a great thing about Fridays with all the sponsors.

02:04:51.000 We have a stack of papers, and when I throw them, it's fuckin' rainin' notes!

02:04:56.000 Hallelujah, it's a rainin' notes!

02:04:59.000 Thy groats!

02:05:02.000 Thy groats.

02:05:18.000 My son asked me today, he goes, how much would you have to pay to snort cocaine?

02:05:22.000 My 10 year old.

02:05:23.000 What?

02:05:24.000 He's heard of drugs.

02:05:27.000 When our dog got hit by a car, broke his leg, he was on drugs.

02:05:31.000 And he was like, Leroy's on cocaine.

02:05:35.000 How much would I have to be paid?

02:05:37.000 How much have I paid?

02:05:39.000 It's probably a small fortune.

02:05:44.000 So some baby monster sent this in and said it made him cry and he thinks it's gonna make us cry like we're a bunch of bitches.

02:05:54.000 I'm basically Chinese when it comes to these kind of things.

02:05:56.000 I have no soul, no emotions.

02:05:59.000 I am so disappointed in you Americans for being so sentimental.

02:06:04.000 It's embarrassing, man.

02:06:06.000 Why'd you gotta be so sentimental?

02:06:09.000 Grow a ball.

02:06:10.000 You're so Chinese, you're Latina.

02:06:15.000 Here in China, we don't care.

02:06:25.000 It's got a fucking pulse thing for your finger.

02:06:28.000 Damn.

02:06:29.000 Look at that.

02:06:32.000 Uh, what's it called?

02:06:32.000 That's a, yeah, a pulso.

02:06:35.000 Fingertip oximeter.

02:06:37.000 Well, you can meet her all the time.

02:06:39.000 Look at this.

02:06:40.000 This is a great follow on Twitter.

02:06:43.000 The Cultural Tutor.

02:06:45.000 You won't regret it.

02:06:46.000 Hideous.

02:06:47.000 Disgusting.

02:06:48.000 Unreal.

02:06:49.000 And then he'll tell you why.

02:06:50.000 Yeah, I love that.

02:06:53.000 I love the Cultural Tutor.

02:06:54.000 Is he defending Art Deco?

02:06:57.000 Yeah.

02:06:59.000 Because it's it's probably like, you know, a little an outsider opinion, which is always interesting and welcome.

02:07:04.000 This guy's always on point, but that's hideous.

02:07:07.000 How?

02:07:07.000 That's why I the thing I like least about Charles Rennie Macintosh is it has this sort of throwback to fucking or throwback throw forward, I guess, in his case, to Art Deco.

02:07:17.000 And it's yucky.

02:07:19.000 It wasn't a total rejection.

02:07:20.000 It makes me think of Atlas Shrugged and Ayn Rand kind of fake worlds.

02:07:25.000 Yeah.

02:07:27.000 Or like a dystopian future or something?

02:07:29.000 Yeah, it's depressing.

02:07:30.000 A total rejection of the past as much as an update, he says.

02:07:33.000 It wasn't a total rejection.

02:07:35.000 There's riches to it.

02:07:37.000 That's fucking gorge, man.

02:07:38.000 That's cool.

02:07:39.000 It kind of has a Scientology vibe.

02:07:41.000 That's true.

02:07:42.000 Now I don't like it.

02:07:45.000 Alright, can we stop talking about your terrible taste in art?

02:07:48.000 I just don't want to cry, is all.

02:07:50.000 Which I won't!

02:07:52.000 If you cry from this, you're Dylan Mulvaney levels fag.

02:07:56.000 Sir, sorry to bother you.

02:07:57.000 I'm trying to buy this Canucks shirt for my kid.

02:07:59.000 Do you have a dollar?

02:08:00.000 Vancouver Hockey team, Vancouver Canucks.

02:08:01.000 Do you have a dollar short for this shirt for my kid?

02:08:03.000 It's his birthday today.

02:08:04.000 Oh!

02:08:05.000 Wait, do we?

02:08:06.000 What's your name?

02:08:06.000 David.

02:08:07.000 I'm Zach, nice to meet you, man.

02:08:08.000 Hey, how's it going?

02:08:09.000 What's your name, bro?

02:08:09.000 Uh, Jace.

02:08:10.000 I'm Zach.

02:08:11.000 Nice to meet you.

02:08:11.000 You like hockey?

02:08:12.000 Yeah.

02:08:13.000 Who's your favorite team?

02:08:14.000 Uh, Canucks.

02:08:15.000 There you go.

02:08:15.000 Are you sure?

02:08:16.000 Yeah, that's all I got, so.

02:08:18.000 I don't want to take five bucks, I only need the Canucks.

02:08:19.000 No, it's for your kid.

02:08:21.000 You sure?

02:08:21.000 Yeah, of course.

02:08:22.000 It's your son?

02:08:22.000 Yeah.

02:08:22.000 I'm actually gonna give this back.

02:08:25.000 No, no.

02:08:26.000 Take it.

02:08:26.000 Sure?

02:08:27.000 It was a kindness test.

02:08:28.000 Oh.

02:08:28.000 This is actually for him.

02:08:30.000 Oh, no, no.

02:08:31.000 Eat.

02:08:31.000 I actually got this for you.

02:08:33.000 Thank you very much.

02:08:34.000 No problem.

02:08:34.000 And I actually got a surprise for you.

02:08:36.000 The first person who is going to help me out of $1,000.

02:08:39.000 What?

02:08:40.000 Cash.

02:08:41.000 No.

02:08:41.000 It's $1,000.

02:08:41.000 Actually?

02:08:43.000 I'm 100% positive, bro.

02:08:44.000 Can I give you a hug by any chance?

02:08:45.000 Yeah, of course.

02:08:47.000 Love you, man.

02:08:47.000 Thank you so much.

02:08:49.000 Can you use it?

02:08:49.000 He just had his chemo.

02:08:53.000 I had no idea, man.

02:08:56.000 Love you.

02:08:58.000 Are you a big Canucks fan?

02:08:59.000 Yeah.

02:09:00.000 You're going to the Canucks game?

02:09:01.000 Yeah.

02:09:02.000 Right now.

02:09:02.000 We're going to meet all the players.

02:09:04.000 What are you talking about?

02:09:05.000 We're going to the Canucks game?

02:09:06.000 I don't even know what that means.

02:09:08.000 We're going to the Canucks game right now.

02:09:09.000 That's awesome.

02:09:10.000 Let's go.

02:09:11.000 Who's going to win tonight, Jake?

02:09:12.000 I got it!

02:09:15.000 We're going in to meet the players.

02:09:24.000 Was he just vaping?

02:09:25.000 No.

02:09:27.000 That was nice.

02:09:28.000 Pretty good.

02:09:29.000 I'm moist.

02:09:30.000 I've seen this a few times now already.

02:09:32.000 So I'm about as moist as my wife's pussy, I guess, on our wedding night, which is about as moist as it got.

02:09:41.000 Pretty good.

02:09:42.000 Pretty good, guys.

02:09:43.000 I'm not fully sopping wet, though.

02:09:46.000 All right, thanks for tuning in.

02:09:48.000 We got a fun weekend ahead.

02:09:49.000 I thought that was a great way to remind everyone how lucky we are to be here.

02:09:53.000 And although we portray a lot of negative things here, you can get a little down, life is still 100% better than it was 100 years ago.

02:10:01.000 And what were you going to say?

02:10:03.000 You don't cry tears in Canada.

02:10:04.000 It's so cold you have crysicles.

02:10:08.000 People are gonna interrupt you and say dumb shit throughout the weekend, and you gotta be prepared for that to happen, but you also gotta just sort of stop and smell the roses, folks, and appreciate how lucky we are to be alive in this amazing time.

02:10:21.000 The newspaper has to make it look bad.

02:10:23.000 If it bleeds, it leads.

02:10:24.000 But it's not bleeding outside.

02:10:26.000 Like Bill Hicks says, you watch CNN for 24 hours, and you're like, famine, war, death, disease!

02:10:31.000 And then you walk outside, the birds are chirping, and you realize, this is a beautiful life.

02:10:36.000 I'm going to enjoy it.

02:10:37.000 Pretend this weekend that you were 80, you're on your deathbed, and you wish you could have gone back in time to 2023 and just had one weekend.

02:10:46.000 Now I'm about to tear up again.

02:10:50.000 If you could just have one weekend with your family and you did it, you traveled back in time to the 17th of March in 2023 and you got to live it all over again.

02:11:02.000 Congratulations.

02:11:03.000 Welcome back to Friday, March 17th, 2023.

02:11:08.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave and never stop fighting.

02:11:16.000 If anyone comes to court here, you can take them to a verse.

02:11:20.000 If anyone comes to court here, you can say you're a country lass.

02:11:25.000 You don't have to tell them that you ever played this joke.

02:11:30.000 That you got your half-century books racked up in a soldier's coat.

02:11:33.000 And the drums are going a-rackin' and a-tackin' and the boys still out to play.

02:11:38.000 Fare thee well, Polly we dare, I must be going away.

02:11:50.000 We're good to go.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

GOML S4E229 - AMERICAN LEPRECHAUNS

Summary

Transcript