Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - November 03, 2023


GOML S5E17 - NIGHT FLIGHT (Free Part)


Episode Stats

Length

45 minutes

Words per Minute

158.77913

Word Count

7,153

Sentence Count

697

Misogynist Sentences

28

Hate Speech Sentences

41


Summary

Donald Trump covers Iron Maiden's 1979 hit, "Fear the Dark." Gavin McInnes explains why he thinks it's one of the best songs of the 20th century. Plus, a story about a guy who thinks he's the most interesting man in the world. And a song about a woman who thinks she's a man. Plus, an interview with comedian Alex Jones about his new book, Flame of Rebellion, and much, much more! It's another episode of Thick & Thin, hosted by Gimlet Media's own Alex Blumberg, and produced by Mike Wendlandt. This episode is brought to you by Purpleworks Nutrition. Purpleworks Pre-Workout is not only great for the gym and lifting weights, it's also great for sports! It works like a charm if you play football, baseball, pickleball, or even shooty hoops! However, however, it is especially effective for running, biking, and other endurance sports. It's formulated so that you don't have to cycle on and off it like many other pre-workout options. Whether you're into the French press or the bench press, Purpleworks has you covered. Go to purpleworksnutrition.net and enter the promo code GAVIN off-the-bench press and enter code Gavin' at checkout. Here's the bag! Here's The Bag! Purpleworks pre-works Nutrition is formulated with no artificial ingredients manufactured in an FDA-registered facility, it doesn't have any artificial ingredients, manufactured in the FDA-regulated facility, and it's formulated to make you feel good! It s formulated so you don t have to go to the gym to workout, you ll feel like you re training to be weak and tingles and you can workout to be strong and tingly. Here s the bag, too! I find that I don't do an entire scoop of caffeine, I just take it half an hour before I work out at 8:30 and then I'm working out at 9:30, I don t really have to workout at 9. And I do like that I do it in the morning and I do that in the afternoon at 7:30 I might be different than you might be better than I do an hour and a half before I go to bed at 7 am and I might go to sleep at 6:30 at 9 am, I might do that at 5:30 in the evening.


Transcript

00:00:02.000 I am a man who walks alone.
00:00:05.000 And when I'm walking the dark road, at night or strolling through the park.
00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
00:00:20.000 It's strange and a little anxious when it's dark.
00:00:26.000 Fear of the dark.
00:00:29.000 Fear of the dark.
00:00:32.000 I have constant fear that something's always near.
00:00:38.000 Fear of the dark.
00:00:44.000 Ladies and gentlemen, that was Donald Trump singing one of his favorite songs, Fear of the Dark, by Iron Maiden.
00:00:53.000 That's probably their fucking 11th album or something.
00:00:57.000 They got, what, 17 albums, that band?
00:01:00.000 Still going strong.
00:01:02.000 Still rocking.
00:01:03.000 I wonder if we'll see them on Battle of the Bands.
00:01:06.000 I don't think so.
00:01:07.000 I like Iron Maiden, but what are their hits?
00:01:10.000 Fear of the Dark was not a big hit.
00:01:12.000 It's really just Number the Beast and Run to the Hills.
00:01:16.000 Is The Soldier the name of it?
00:01:20.000 That particular song?
00:01:21.000 Play the song.
00:01:22.000 The song's Fear the Dark.
00:01:24.000 It's from the album Fear the Dark.
00:01:26.000 First album I believe that was ever produced by the bassist and the creator.
00:01:45.000 Kind of go in the middle.
00:01:58.000 Bruce Dickinson is a weird one, isn't he?
00:02:01.000 He's an airplane pilot?
00:02:03.000 Guy rules.
00:02:04.000 Wrote a book about saucy boobies?
00:02:06.000 Mrs. Buttercups or something?
00:02:07.000 What the fuck?
00:02:10.000 I was gonna do this song, Alex Jones.
00:02:12.000 Flame of Rebellion.
00:02:24.000 Zoom out so people can find this.
00:02:26.000 I wish Apple Music had every song ever.
00:02:30.000 We're good to go.
00:02:54.000 They want to train you to be weak!
00:02:57.000 I believe you've got courage and you've got will and you're gonna get angry and stop caring.
00:03:01.000 It begins with not caring about what your slack-jawed, knuckle-dragging, cowardly, pseudo-tough-guy, football-watching neighbor thinks.
00:03:11.000 That's where it begins.
00:03:12.000 It begins with not caring what happens to your individual person.
00:03:16.000 And when you have that attitude, when you have that attitude, the enemy doesn't have anything over you
00:03:27.000 He's like the least boring person in the world.
00:03:37.000 He's not the most interesting man guy.
00:03:40.000 I told you I met that guy once.
00:03:43.000 He's a Jew from Long Island named John.
00:03:46.000 He's not Spanish.
00:03:47.000 The Dos Equis guy?
00:03:49.000 Dos Equis.
00:03:50.000 You want to hear something retarded?
00:03:53.000 Barack Obama had a surprise birthday party for Barack Obama and he was there.
00:04:00.000 Like, he's the most interesting man in the world.
00:04:03.000 You know that's a character from a beer commercial, right Barack?
00:04:07.000 And Barack's friends?
00:04:08.000 So he was there hanging out with the president because he's, you know, sailed the world ten times and fought in four wars.
00:04:15.000 Like, what?
00:04:16.000 That's like having Christopher Reeves dressed as Superman at your party.
00:04:21.000 It's embarrassing.
00:04:21.000 Anyway, today's episode is brought to you by Purple Works Nutrition.
00:04:26.000 Purple Works Nutrition's pre-workout is not only great for the gym and lifting weights, it's also great for sports.
00:04:31.000 It works like a charm if you play football, baseball, pickleball, spikeball, or even shooty hoops.
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00:04:39.000 Purple Works pre-workout uses only the highest quality ingredients.
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00:04:45.000 Caffeine and green tea extract for energy and focus.
00:04:47.000 Vitamins for muscle and tissue repair.
00:04:49.000 And carnosine beta alanine for tingles.
00:04:52.000 I take it half an hour before I work out.
00:04:55.000 I don't do an entire scoop.
00:04:56.000 I find that's too much caffeine.
00:04:58.000 You might be different.
00:05:00.000 I do like a teaspoon.
00:05:02.000 You know, small glass.
00:05:03.000 I don't put it in my workout water.
00:05:05.000 I don't really have workout water.
00:05:06.000 I just take it, you know, at 8.30 and then I'm working out at 9.
00:05:11.000 Purpleworks pre-workout has no artificial ingredients manufactured in an FDA-registered facility.
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00:05:51.000 I don't think you should play Prince, bro.
00:05:53.000 Oh, it's a cover.
00:05:54.000 It would never get stricken.
00:05:56.000 He's very uptight.
00:05:57.000 Well, he was.
00:05:58.000 He was.
00:06:00.000 Rest in power.
00:06:01.000 He no longer is.
00:06:02.000 God, my wife bawled when he died.
00:06:05.000 She went to his Graceland, whatever it's called.
00:06:09.000 Paisley Park.
00:06:11.000 My mom cried when Kurt Cobain died, and I remember that day.
00:06:15.000 And she was sobbing in the living room.
00:06:18.000 And I was like, what's wrong mom?
00:06:20.000 And she's like, we lost somebody very important, Kurt Cobain or something like that.
00:06:24.000 And I was like, oh.
00:06:27.000 I just walked away.
00:06:28.000 When he died, I was listening to CKCU College Station, and the guy goes, I don't know if you heard what happened today, but we lost Kurt Cobain.
00:06:39.000 And I think we all agree that that's totally boring!
00:06:43.000 And then he put on the cure.
00:06:44.000 Damn.
00:06:46.000 And I told my buddy Steve that, and he was so mad.
00:06:49.000 He goes, fuck you, man!
00:06:51.000 How can you think that's funny?
00:06:52.000 And then he said the following quote.
00:06:54.000 I've never let him forget.
00:06:55.000 He was the first one of us to make it!
00:07:00.000 No, he wasn't.
00:07:01.000 Because we're grunge, I guess.
00:07:04.000 He was the first, because he said to me once, he goes, look, I dress grunge.
00:07:08.000 I listen to grunge music.
00:07:09.000 I play in a grunge band.
00:07:10.000 I'm grunge.
00:07:13.000 I'm grunge.
00:07:17.000 You know, Steve, that grunge guy wears like jeans with holes in them and a plaid shirt.
00:07:24.000 I'd say grunge-y.
00:07:27.000 Matty Odell tells us there's a major cyber attack coming today, and he knows everything so Get some cash out dude speaking of cash.
00:07:36.000 We got to get the cleaners in here today Oh, yeah, I don't have any on me farts.
00:07:41.000 I give all my cash to my wife shit
00:07:46.000 Someone else from Eric Adams' staff, Eric Adams, Mayor of New York, is corrupt and the fundraiser was doing a kickback scheme with the Turkish government.
00:07:56.000 Surprise, surprise.
00:07:58.000 Thank God they fired John Derbyshire from National Review for his horrific observation that black politicians tend to be disproportionately corrupt.
00:08:06.000 That pattern is not true.
00:08:08.000 He deserves to be unemployed.
00:08:10.000 Fuck him.
00:08:12.000 Uh, did you put out the push notification?
00:08:14.000 I can only tell a person to do so, and I did.
00:08:17.000 But did he respond?
00:08:19.000 Um... No.
00:08:21.000 So it's not out?
00:08:23.000 No.
00:08:24.000 Okay.
00:08:25.000 But the, um, I said we're gonna take calls around 2-15?
00:08:28.000 Yep.
00:08:30.000 But... That doesn't mean anything if you didn't get it.
00:08:33.000 I'll call him.
00:08:34.000 I'll call him right now.
00:08:35.000 Let's just say hello?
00:08:39.000 Did you notice my shirt is not white?
00:08:42.000 I didn't.
00:08:43.000 It's a very, very subtle café off-white.
00:08:48.000 Really?
00:08:49.000 Yeah.
00:08:50.000 And my tie has bunnies on it.
00:08:51.000 What if I... Yeah.
00:08:55.000 Let me zoom in on it.
00:08:56.000 Ryan has said repeatedly that he is better than Jimi Hendrix on guitar and I have a bone to pick with that.
00:09:05.000 Sure.
00:09:06.000 I contend that.
00:09:07.000 Contest.
00:09:08.000 I contest that.
00:09:10.000 I don't see that off.
00:09:12.000 You don't see the bunnies?
00:09:13.000 The cafe.
00:09:15.000 Oh, you can't see that that's not white?
00:09:17.000 No.
00:09:19.000 Maybe it's kind of a blue?
00:09:21.000 It looked a little bluish.
00:09:24.000 I will concede that Ryan is a better singer than Jimi Hendrix, but Jimi Hendrix never called himself a singer.
00:09:30.000 He very reluctantly became a vocalist.
00:09:33.000 He always wanted just to be the guitarist in the band, which he was.
00:09:37.000 He was a great session musician.
00:09:39.000 He was in a bunch of bands.
00:09:41.000 Curtis Knight, I think he was in.
00:09:44.000 How would you feel, yeah, if you were me?
00:09:52.000 He sent me a clip of him singing and playing guitar.
00:09:54.000 I don't remember that.
00:09:55.000 And I have to admit there is something there.
00:09:59.000 Something magical.
00:10:02.000 That's... You like pills?
00:10:04.000 How could you possibly think that's me?
00:10:09.000 Those aren't words.
00:10:28.000 You're kind of grunge.
00:10:31.000 I mean, pill aren't grunge, but you're pretty grunge.
00:10:35.000 You sing grunge.
00:10:37.000 McInnes, damn you!
00:10:55.000 Uh, okay, he responded.
00:10:56.000 He was at the doctor.
00:10:57.000 Probably getting a colonoscopy.
00:10:59.000 I gotta get one of those.
00:11:01.000 Oh yeah!
00:11:02.000 Can't wait.
00:11:04.000 When you put it in, can you go in and out?
00:11:08.000 Or just in, okay sorry.
00:11:09.000 Can you go in and up a little bit?
00:11:11.000 That's my spot.
00:11:13.000 Can you go in and hold it and then put your hand around my throat and say take it bitch?
00:11:18.000 Can you put two in and then like when you're in go and kind of like scissor, un-scissor them?
00:11:24.000 Can you attach it to some sort of vibrating implement device?
00:11:28.000 Can you yell at me while you do it?
00:11:32.000 I just kind of assumed in that joke that gays, when they're getting fucked in their butts, they're like a bitch.
00:11:41.000 Maybe that's not the case.
00:11:42.000 That's the case in heterosexual sex, when we're fucking a woman, we're the boss of her.
00:11:48.000 But maybe in gay sex, you're getting a dick in your butt and you're like, you like that, you little bitch?
00:11:55.000 And you're the guy with the dick and the guy with the dick is like, yeah, I guess.
00:11:58.000 Yeah, I'm riding your dick, you bitch.
00:12:00.000 That doesn't seem to work.
00:12:02.000 Who knows?
00:12:03.000 I thought that was the funniest concept on Saturday night.
00:12:08.000 It's one of those jokes that you think is hilarious and then you sober up and you're like, why did I keep repeating that?
00:12:14.000 I thought it'd be funny.
00:12:15.000 Some guy just becomes gay, like he comes out at like 35 and his first night with a dude, he just puts his finger in the guy's butt and the guy's like, what are you doing?
00:12:24.000 He's like, I'm fingering you.
00:12:26.000 Isn't this what we do?
00:12:27.000 Is this a thing?
00:12:27.000 Yeah.
00:12:28.000 And they're like, no, fingering isn't a thing in our world.
00:12:31.000 Okay.
00:12:31.000 I don't know.
00:12:31.000 Let me wash my finger off.
00:12:33.000 I feel like lesbos have such a hard time.
00:12:36.000 I have a lesbo friend and she would say, oh yeah, you know, me and this chick, we had sex.
00:12:40.000 I was like, you didn't.
00:12:41.000 No, you didn't.
00:12:43.000 No, you didn't.
00:12:44.000 You did something fooling around.
00:12:45.000 That's why you have lesbian bed death.
00:12:46.000 Cause there's so much shit you gotta, you gotta break out the toys and do stuff.
00:12:50.000 I'm sure it's real hot the first night, but then like you're married for 15 years and it's, can you go put on the strap on?
00:12:56.000 What is this chart?
00:12:57.000 So this is the, somebody says, finally, the ultimate YouTubers gay sex chart.
00:13:03.000 And, um, you know, I'm surprised Destiny is closer to a top.
00:13:08.000 Yeah, I would put Destiny in the bottom left.
00:13:11.000 But they put Shapiro there.
00:13:13.000 Next, is that Fuentes?
00:13:14.000 Fuentes?
00:13:15.000 That's retarded.
00:13:15.000 No, this is not well done.
00:13:17.000 No, it's not.
00:13:18.000 I could see that there's a bias here.
00:13:20.000 Fuentes is not the most macho man in the world, but he's definitely not submissive.
00:13:25.000 He's a big daddy dom.
00:13:28.000 I take that back.
00:13:28.000 Is that Paul Joseph Watson near the word bottom there?
00:13:33.000 Who's that next to Tim Pool?
00:13:35.000 Next to Tim Poole.
00:13:36.000 To the left, I'm not sure.
00:13:37.000 To the right is Mumkey Jones.
00:13:40.000 Who's the one... Who's the one that's touching Tim Poole?
00:13:44.000 And also... Wait, that is Paul Joseph Watson.
00:13:46.000 Yeah, that's another dumb move.
00:13:48.000 That guy's a fucking beast.
00:13:49.000 I don't know who made this.
00:13:50.000 They put Adam Warski all the way at the bottom.
00:13:53.000 So he's a bottom dom.
00:13:54.000 So I guess it does exist.
00:13:56.000 And Vausch?
00:13:58.000 They put Vausch as a neutral bottom?
00:14:00.000 Are you kidding?
00:14:01.000 Yeah, like that guy, I think Vouch and Destiny have literally had woman dudes fuck their wives.
00:14:08.000 Right.
00:14:08.000 How could Nuance Bro be a sub-top?
00:14:11.000 I don't know if that makes sense.
00:14:12.000 So who's the ultimate man, Alex Jones?
00:14:16.000 There's you there.
00:14:18.000 What?
00:14:18.000 Not a bad spot to be.
00:14:19.000 Well, you just put me there, you fucking penis.
00:14:23.000 That actually got me.
00:14:24.000 That's hilarious.
00:14:28.000 I don't know who everybody else is.
00:14:30.000 Let's talk about a very polarizing subject that is affecting everyone and some people are for one side they're screaming blue murder and the other wants to think it's it's worthy of going to war for and there's victims on both sides of this so we're open to both sides here and of course I'm talking about the biggest issue going around today which is putting your seat back.
00:14:55.000 Now
00:14:56.000 Coach, this only applies in coach.
00:15:00.000 And you can put your seat back on an overnight flight.
00:15:03.000 You can also put your seat back if a child or a midget is behind you.
00:15:06.000 But if an adult is behind you and it's a day flight, you may not put your seat back in coach.
00:15:11.000 First class isn't invited to this discussion.
00:15:14.000 So this woman is furious that she couldn't put her seat back.
00:15:19.000 As an African-American refusing to let her do that.
00:15:22.000 And Anthony is on the woman's side.
00:15:24.000 I'm on the black dude's side.
00:15:26.000 Fuck you.
00:15:27.000 Respect the people behind you.
00:15:29.000 We have so little room.
00:15:30.000 I used to be able to do work in coach and now my computer gets pushed into my stomach.
00:15:37.000 Sometimes I want to watch a movie on my computer and I can't because this cunt wants to put her seat back.
00:15:42.000 So one trick you can do is you get into your seat and you pretend you put your knees up like this and then you pretend you're sleeping.
00:15:51.000 And they'll go like this a few times and then they give up.
00:15:55.000 One time I was wearing, I think I told you this before, I was wearing a Mets jacket, like a vintage one, silk kind of thing, it looked like from the 80s, and I didn't realize this until I started wearing it, but people think you have special needs when they see you in a vintage Mets silk windbreaker.
00:16:10.000 Puffy kind.
00:16:12.000 And people are shitty to people who are retarded.
00:16:15.000 On my wife's side, there's this Native American woman who, you know, she has those kind of eyes, and she had a bowl cut, and she was taking swimming lessons, and her swimming teacher thought she was retarded, and she goes, I didn't believe this until I experienced it, but people with Down syndrome get abused.
00:16:30.000 Like, I was abused.
00:16:32.000 Grabbed the towel from me and shit, yelled at me, get out of the pool!
00:16:36.000 So when I was special needs on the plane This woman was trying to put her seat back and I was pretending to be asleep and this guy Diagonal for me goes.
00:16:45.000 Hey, she's trying to put her seat back move your legs and He didn't think he was
00:16:52.000 Picking a fight with an actual dude.
00:16:54.000 And I go, you need to shut your mouth.
00:16:57.000 I saw what you were watching.
00:16:58.000 You're watching Marvel movies.
00:16:59.000 You're a grown man.
00:17:00.000 I'm not going to have some child talk to me like he's not a fucking infant.
00:17:06.000 And then he was like, oh shit, I thought you were retarded.
00:17:07.000 You blew your cover and you're like, I mean, okay.
00:17:13.000 No, that was one of the few times I was on a plane not pretending to be retarded.
00:17:18.000 And I've told you this before, I would act like I was special needs so I could sit with my friend.
00:17:23.000 So, just hear her out.
00:17:35.000 Not on my watch.
00:17:40.000 It's amazing how people are so passionately divided on this.
00:17:44.000 I just assumed everyone would agree with me.
00:17:47.000 But Anthony Cumia is on her fucking side.
00:17:49.000 I saw someone, I posted this on Twitter and someone goes, if everyone puts their seat back, we're fine.
00:17:55.000 Okay.
00:17:56.000 Yeah.
00:17:57.000 If everyone steals from their neighbor, we all have the same amount of stuff.
00:18:02.000 If everyone steals one cup of sugar from their neighbor, get out of my house and no, you're not stealing a cup of sugar from my house.
00:18:08.000 It doesn't work like that.
00:18:10.000 It's for emergencies.
00:18:13.000 Like, it's an overnight flight.
00:18:16.000 But I've seen people get into the plane, put on a movie, it's 2 p.m.
00:18:20.000 and just be like,
00:18:23.000 And they're right up my ass.
00:18:25.000 Where do you stand on this subject?
00:18:28.000 I don't think it's necessary.
00:18:29.000 I really don't.
00:18:29.000 I don't think I reclined mine once on the tour.
00:18:33.000 I think I forget that that function exists.
00:18:35.000 Maybe if I remembered, I might have for some of the flights, but there's no need.
00:18:40.000 I like being in a tight, cozy airplane seat.
00:18:45.000 I've kind of been missing the tour a little bit, but I also realize how like unfair it is when my wife's been at home pregnant So I'm like, you know what?
00:18:52.000 Yeah, my cousin is visiting from Scotland and he's visiting my other cousin in Chicago and like are you coming down?
00:18:58.000 No, yeah, you've been jetting around Come here.
00:19:05.000 I'm so fucking sick of it.
00:19:06.000 I
00:19:07.000 Well, in England, jolly old, you have like three big, cool interviews, maybe even more, from Tommy's guys, that you could do Pearl.
00:19:17.000 No thank you.
00:19:18.000 You could do Lotus Eaters.
00:19:21.000 How do you know I could do Lotus Eaters?
00:19:23.000 I talked to them.
00:19:24.000 And they said yes?
00:19:25.000 Yeah, they'd love to have you.
00:19:31.000 The other biggest deal about flying, of course, is butters.
00:19:36.000 Unfortunately, in Western English, we pronounce T with a D, so it sounds like butters, which isn't great for my second club I'm starting called the Butt Boys, where we stop people from butting, but it sounds like it's gay.
00:19:53.000 But this is, I am this guy.
00:19:55.000 When we land, I'm like this.
00:19:57.000 So I can stand up and prevent other people from butting in line.
00:20:03.000 And I put my arms like this.
00:20:04.000 I'll fucking, I'll tell, well, we almost got in a fist fight with that one dude where I pushed him back.
00:20:10.000 But you're not getting past me.
00:20:11.000 I will hold on to the sides.
00:20:13.000 So I obviously was not on this flight because this is the enemy.
00:20:18.000 This is the Gargamel of our Smurfdom.
00:20:21.000 Do you get into full-blown arguments with people, like, in your head?
00:20:25.000 Because I had a butter on the last flight that we were coming back, he had all of his shopping bags.
00:20:30.000 He was even ahead of his family, so he jumped ahead to a point where his family was two people behind him.
00:20:36.000 So, like, why?
00:20:37.000 What are you doing?
00:20:38.000 And everybody, and I could see he just keeps, like, cowardly inching forward, and I just put my knee there, and I'm like, he's gonna go past my knee, and I'm like, not in the mood to fuck.
00:20:47.000 And he did.
00:20:48.000 Yeah, that's, you let, you let a butt go?
00:20:50.000 I did.
00:20:51.000 I had a full-blown- I could- because you said yesterday.
00:20:54.000 You're out of the club.
00:20:55.000 You ha- I know.
00:20:56.000 You're fired.
00:20:57.000 I'm sorry.
00:20:57.000 You're out of the butt boys.
00:20:58.000 What can I do to get back in?
00:21:01.000 Fist fight a guy.
00:21:02.000 You have to- you have to physically harm someone who's trying to butt.
00:21:06.000 You have to get on the no-fly list.
00:21:08.000 Damn.
00:21:08.000 For attacking a- That's terrible.
00:21:09.000 I've noticed when I yell at butters too, I can see other people in the plane like, finally someone's standing up for us.
00:21:15.000 Yeah.
00:21:16.000 The last time it happened, it was a black woman, and they, sorry, but they disproportionately are involved in the butt movement.
00:21:22.000 I said, could you just move back a little bit, please?
00:21:25.000 Go twerking.
00:21:25.000 As I was getting my stuff.
00:21:26.000 So I used getting my stuff as an excuse to push her back.
00:21:29.000 Yeah.
00:21:29.000 And then, I'm the king of the row.
00:21:32.000 Yeah.
00:21:32.000 And I just stay there until all my people... I'm Moses.
00:21:36.000 Yeah.
00:21:37.000 I'm parting the Red Sea.
00:21:38.000 All my people must be free.
00:21:40.000 See that I've done.
00:21:41.000 So I don't know if I should be kicked out because I've done a lot of the the like waiting there.
00:21:46.000 No tolerance policy.
00:21:46.000 Then there's people sitting down they're like I guess everybody's just gonna bully past us and they look at me and I'm like
00:21:53.000 I'm Jesus.
00:21:53.000 I'm Jesus of the aisle.
00:21:55.000 I won't go as far as that.
00:21:56.000 I'll be walking up and I'll see someone waiting.
00:21:58.000 They're blind and they have one arm.
00:22:00.000 And I'll be like, my son, please.
00:22:02.000 And I'll stop the entire line.
00:22:04.000 And they're like, who?
00:22:05.000 Little old me?
00:22:07.000 And I'm like, yes, you.
00:22:08.000 Get your bag.
00:22:09.000 You're free to go.
00:22:10.000 Thank you.
00:22:10.000 Thank you.
00:22:12.000 What can I do for you?
00:22:13.000 You've done enough just by being free.
00:22:15.000 That's my gift.
00:22:17.000 It makes my heart sing to see you go free.
00:22:19.000 Right.
00:22:20.000 But you can feel the anger behind you sometimes.
00:22:23.000 Sometimes you could literally feel like the... Well, if I'm by the window, I'm in a panic because I'm relying on someone else to be the butt boy.
00:22:30.000 Yep.
00:22:32.000 But you know what's funny about it?
00:22:34.000 Metro North coming into the city, no rules.
00:22:38.000 I don't care what.
00:22:39.000 You can go ahead.
00:22:39.000 I can go ahead.
00:22:40.000 I don't feel that way.
00:22:42.000 There's no... I don't care.
00:22:43.000 I don't even think there is butting in line.
00:22:46.000 No.
00:22:46.000 First come, first serve.
00:22:48.000 Yeah.
00:22:49.000 I heard that's how, so this is weird, but a homily at my church, the priest was like, this is how it used to be.
00:22:56.000 There is no line.
00:22:57.000 There's no lineup.
00:22:58.000 You just, everybody rushed to the front and like a huge, and then everybody that gets it, gets it.
00:23:04.000 And it's like this kind of beautiful chaos.
00:23:06.000 Instead of lining up and waiting there.
00:23:09.000 And we heard that homily, and then right afterwards, we start doing the preparatory prayers and the consecration of the host and all that.
00:23:17.000 And then I'm just like, well, should we all rush up?
00:23:19.000 And then we all lined up again.
00:23:21.000 And then I talked to him afterwards, like, shouldn't we have done what you said would be the better way?
00:23:25.000 He's like, yeah, if you could figure out a way to make that happen, yes.
00:23:28.000 And I was like, what's the matter with lineups?
00:23:30.000 Why is your guy anti-lineup?
00:23:33.000 It's not anti-lineup, but the way it was going for most of history, the most traditional way, is just to go.
00:23:39.000 Yeah, well, we advanced.
00:23:40.000 We became civilized.
00:23:41.000 What are we going to do?
00:23:42.000 Are you just going to throw bread out to the fucking mob of screaming peasants?
00:23:46.000 We couldn't do that.
00:23:51.000 All right, enough of that subject.
00:23:53.000 So let's show the butter.
00:24:07.000 Fuck you.
00:24:08.000 Not on my watch.
00:24:10.000 Not on my fucking watch.
00:24:13.000 How about this, though?
00:24:14.000 If I'm on my motorcycle, I will go up next to cars, right up to the light, and then when it turns green, I will go in front of them.
00:24:22.000 Yeah.
00:24:23.000 And I don't consider that budding, because motorcycles have a much higher acceleration rate than any car.
00:24:29.000 Any fucking... Sometimes I'll see a muscle car be like, vroom vroom, and I'll go, dude, you don't understand how these work.
00:24:35.000 So, it's like I'm invisible.
00:24:37.000 I'm not slowing anyone down.
00:24:39.000 Like, if there was a flying mouse on a flight, and he wanted to butt in front of me, I'd be like, okay, there you go, little fucking Stuart Batlittle.
00:24:49.000 Stuart Batlittle?
00:24:50.000 Yeah, he's a half bat, half mouse.
00:24:56.000 Jump medic!
00:24:58.000 I went through this bag for my Mad Max costume because he has all kinds of like sutures and tools and stuff and I didn't realize until I started really taking this thing apart how much shit is in this.
00:25:09.000 It's a complete hospital in a pack.
00:25:13.000 JumpMedic is the first and only company that lets you customize your own first aid kit.
00:25:16.000 JumpMedic is an American company created by a paramedic and baby monster.
00:25:20.000 They have the famous JumpMedic Pro, which I've showed you many times before, but they're now introducing a plethora of new products, largely thanks to the loyal Get Off My Lawn audience.
00:25:29.000 The Pro kit is now on a major sale, but let me tell you about some of their offerings.
00:25:33.000 JumpMedic now has a Build-A-Bag feature, so just go to jumpmedic.com slash bag build
00:25:40.000 And select what you want from their convenient drop-down menu.
00:25:44.000 You can get one or more of their awesome Pro or Go bags.
00:25:47.000 You can skip the bags altogether and just stock up on first-aid supplies to your heart's content.
00:25:52.000 They have basically everything you would need in a first-aid kit and you can mix and match and select whatever you like for your bag.
00:25:58.000 You should have this on your boat, in your truck,
00:26:03.000 And your RV?
00:26:05.000 Going on any trip?
00:26:06.000 It's the kind of thing you deeply regret when the shit hits the fan.
00:26:10.000 Not having.
00:26:11.000 Good grammar, Gav.
00:26:12.000 They also now have the Pro Gen 2 bag.
00:26:15.000 It's the same Pro bag that you've seen, but with more netting.
00:26:18.000 to hold more products and more features like higher quality snaps and backpack style straps.
00:26:23.000 They also have a new design, the Hardshell Pro Kit.
00:26:26.000 It's perfect if you need this first aid kit for a boat or anywhere that water could be involved.
00:26:31.000 The Hardshell Kit, as well as all the Pro Kits, contain the smaller Go Bag as well.
00:26:34.000 If you don't have a first aid kit, or even if you do, check out JumpMedic.com.
00:26:38.000 Free shipping in the USA.
00:26:39.000 Enter promo code RyanSucks for 10% off.
00:26:43.000 That code works for everything except for the sale items.
00:26:48.000 I'm going to get one.
00:26:50.000 Yeah, they're handy.
00:26:51.000 Like today.
00:26:53.000 Well, if we're going under a cyber attack and there's going to be no digital anything, if we're going analog today, as Matty predicts, you're going to want to have this around.
00:27:03.000 Why not just jump?
00:27:04.000 Matty!
00:27:08.000 My brother just got one.
00:27:12.000 Um, so did we get the calls announced?
00:27:15.000 Yeah, we have calls.
00:27:16.000 We have 15 on the line.
00:27:17.000 Oh, shoot.
00:27:18.000 Let me just toss you your handy dandy microphone.
00:27:28.000 I did that thing for the audience at home where I slap the arm like this.
00:27:33.000 Uh-huh.
00:27:34.000 And why is that for the audience at home?
00:27:35.000 Because they didn't see it.
00:27:37.000 You got to see it.
00:27:38.000 Oh, I see.
00:27:38.000 I got treated to that.
00:27:40.000 We could let them in on this.
00:27:43.000 Some of the joys.
00:27:44.000 I'm just gonna put it right there.
00:27:47.000 Yeah, that's good.
00:27:48.000 That's good, yeah.
00:27:49.000 We got 314.
00:27:49.000 314, you're at the front door.
00:27:50.000 Hello, 314.
00:27:51.000 G-Dawg.
00:27:51.000 Yo, what's up?
00:28:02.000 I have a solution to a problem that we're going to have.
00:28:08.000 Is it the final one?
00:28:12.000 No, this is a practical solution.
00:28:15.000 So we get the border closed, no more illegals coming in.
00:28:19.000 Sold.
00:28:21.000 The problem is now we have 20 million illegals scattered throughout the U.S.
00:28:28.000 So what we do is we put a
00:28:31.000 Yeah?
00:28:42.000 Well, we also need immigration that cares.
00:28:46.000 If immigration gave a shit right now, go to Times Square, check the papers of every Mickey Mouse, not Spider-Man, they're black, every Mickey Mouse, every Minnie Mouse, every Elmo, every Cookie Monster, and I 100% guarantee you're catching illegal aliens.
00:29:06.000 Well, if we put a, you're completely right, but if we put a dollar amount, then maybe all these gangs who have nothing else to do, these American gangs, will start rounding up illegals and making some good legal money.
00:29:23.000 Okay, sounds good.
00:29:24.000 I'm on it.
00:29:26.000 Okay, so just dial me in to President Trump and we'll get a conference call.
00:29:32.000 Hello, I'm on the line.
00:29:33.000 He's on the line.
00:29:34.000 We got him.
00:29:35.000 Oh, Mr. President, thank you.
00:29:38.000 Mr. President, what do you think of the idea?
00:29:41.000 Sure, well, I think it's fantastic.
00:29:42.000 Really, we're going to look at it quite deeply and quite strongly, quite frankly.
00:29:47.000 But really, it's tough, right?
00:29:49.000 Because Biden has put our economy in such a place where I don't know if we could really afford to pay the bounty hunters, right?
00:29:57.000 So I think we're going to have to use illegal immigrants for cheap labor to start the bounty hunting process and pay them less.
00:30:04.000 That's what we're going to have to do.
00:30:06.000 Yeah, cut some corners.
00:30:07.000 We have to bring some more in.
00:30:09.000 Yeah, we have to have them, we have to bring more in.
00:30:11.000 Alright, thanks for calling.
00:30:18.000 Nick Oaks is still the winner for the Save America idea.
00:30:21.000 Yeah.
00:30:22.000 Where everyone gets a living wage.
00:30:25.000 The government will pay you to survive.
00:30:28.000 Probably, what, $35,000 a year?
00:30:31.000 $40,000?
00:30:33.000 But when you sign up for this program, you relinquish your right to vote.
00:30:39.000 Over time, cities start going red.
00:30:42.000 We see less blue in America.
00:30:45.000 And then, the farther right you get, there'll be less and less other bullshit benefits.
00:30:53.000 Other stupid welfare.
00:30:54.000 We'll be spending less money on affirmative action.
00:30:56.000 We'll be experiencing less and less of this kind of incompetence.
00:31:01.000 So yeah, it's expensive, but it's the only way to... And the borders will close too.
00:31:06.000 That's a huge one.
00:31:08.000 You know, all you have to know about America is look at the four most populated states, right?
00:31:13.000 Texas, California, New York, and... Texas, California, New York, and Florida.
00:31:21.000 Those are the four biggies, right?
00:31:23.000 Two are blue, two are red.
00:31:25.000 What is happening with these four states?
00:31:28.000 The blue ones are fucked, and there is a mass exodus out of them.
00:31:32.000 And where are they going?
00:31:33.000 They're going to the two red ones.
00:31:36.000 And what's happening in the two red ones?
00:31:38.000 They're thriving.
00:31:39.000 Texas and Florida are booming.
00:31:42.000 California and New York are sucking shit.
00:31:44.000 And what does Texas have?
00:31:46.000 Do they have better beaches than California?
00:31:47.000 Do they have their own Hollywood?
00:31:49.000 No, they don't.
00:31:49.000 They have more conservative values and policies.
00:31:53.000 And that generates jobs.
00:31:55.000 That's all you need to know.
00:31:56.000 And say that to any liberal.
00:31:58.000 It's the get-out-of-jail-free card.
00:31:59.000 It's the ultimate argument ender.
00:32:01.000 Four biggest states.
00:32:03.000 Two red, two blue.
00:32:04.000 All the blues are going to the reds.
00:32:05.000 The reds are thriving.
00:32:06.000 The blues are bombing.
00:32:09.000 We're done.
00:32:10.000 We're done discussing it.
00:32:12.000 All right.
00:32:13.000 We should probably get off the air soon, right?
00:32:17.000 Well, but we got a couple more things before we go behind the paywall.
00:32:21.000 And before we go behind the paywall, I want you to know that censored.tv is about 12 bucks a month.
00:32:27.000 It is new foot, new content every day.
00:32:29.000 I do a show every day and I don't just like sit there and sip my coffee like, no disrespect to Scott Adams, but I have green screens.
00:32:36.000 I do presentations.
00:32:37.000 We're currently trying to figure out what the greatest band in the world is.
00:32:40.000 It's the only place that you get right wing comedy on earth.
00:32:44.000 I mean.
00:32:44.000 What's wrong with that?
00:32:46.000 Our peers the other people who do this daily wire and blaze and stuff do good quality content But they're fucking basically joke free.
00:32:55.000 We're like 70% jokes 30% serious stuff.
00:32:58.000 It's not a joke And we do a lot of pop culture and the important thing about censored TV is is
00:33:07.000 When you walk around and you see things like Halloween is being banned in New Jersey because it's offensive to people and you see that we see Vice magazine say that Nazis are infiltrating these pro-Palestinian rallies because both sides hate Jews and you go, am I losing my fucking mind?
00:33:25.000 Am I the only sane person in the world?
00:33:27.000 And then you tune into this show every night after a hard day's work and a full meal and you go, oh no, no, no, okay, okay.
00:33:33.000 I knew I was sane.
00:33:35.000 I knew it was everyone else that's nuts.
00:33:38.000 They are retarded and in some ways they're geniuses.
00:33:45.000 Remember the guy yesterday or a couple days ago who kept saying, uh, it's, I'm not, sir.
00:33:50.000 I'm a man.
00:33:51.000 One of the more masculine nerds I've ever come across.
00:33:54.000 Nice, big, strong jawline.
00:33:56.000 And he had the most, most ridiculous outfits.
00:33:59.000 He doesn't dress like a woman.
00:34:00.000 He dresses like a very cute six year old.
00:34:04.000 Who has an identical twin.
00:34:05.000 You know when they both dress the same and they're cute little girls.
00:34:08.000 That's how he dresses.
00:34:10.000 Overalls.
00:34:11.000 His dog often matches his outfit.
00:34:13.000 Red beret.
00:34:14.000 So he's decided to cut his cock off and he's also decided to explain it to us in a way that is child-friendly.
00:34:23.000 So if your kids are in the room they can stay in the room and hear about his imminent castration.
00:34:32.000 I thought that was castration.
00:34:41.000 I think castration is just your balls.
00:34:43.000 Huh.
00:34:44.000 Anyway.
00:34:45.000 I've been on the fence for a while now.
00:34:50.000 I've been on the fence for a while now.
00:34:53.000 Buddy, lots of dudes are not happy with their dick.
00:35:07.000 You're watching a show with two of them.
00:35:10.000 I wish I had better biceps, but I'm not gonna Kyle Rittenhouse them off.
00:35:16.000 Castration often involved emasculation or total removal of all the male genitalia.
00:35:20.000 Oh, okay.
00:35:22.000 But now the modern day is removal of the testes, so yeah.
00:35:27.000 Back to square one.
00:35:27.000 Oh, okay.
00:35:29.000 These poor bastards have been brainwashed by their own propaganda.
00:35:39.000 There are always complications, my friend.
00:35:42.000 That's why the hospitals like it so much, because it's a very profitable operation.
00:35:47.000 And here's the big picture.
00:35:49.000 Panoctomy.
00:35:51.000 Panectomy.
00:35:53.000 Here's the big problem.
00:35:54.000 You have severe mental issues.
00:35:56.000 You're a deranged homosexual.
00:35:59.000 You've been complimented your whole life, and every time you come up with a stupid idea, your dumb peer group says it's awesome.
00:36:09.000 Now, you're depressed because you're unusual.
00:36:11.000 That's just a fact.
00:36:14.000 And you think the problem is that you're not being identified as a woman.
00:36:19.000 That's not the problem.
00:36:21.000 So cutting your dick off is not going to solve your problems.
00:36:23.000 And the reason you people have such a brutal suicide rate is you cut your dick off and you're still depressed.
00:36:30.000 And you still feel unusual.
00:36:31.000 Sorry, you're never not going to be weird.
00:36:33.000 Just embrace it.
00:36:35.000 The turning point was when I asked myself the question, if I could take the stick and snap my fingers to turn it into a donut without all the tough stuff in between, would I do it?
00:36:46.000 And the answer was, yeah, of course I would.
00:36:48.000 That would make me really happy, actually.
00:36:50.000 So I figured, let's do that.
00:36:51.000 That's exactly it.
00:36:52.000 I have a phone consult with the surgeon later this month.
00:36:54.000 That would make me really happy.
00:36:55.000 It's kind of funny how they... That would make me really happy.
00:36:59.000 That sentence right there is the origins, it's the core of their brutal suicide rate.
00:37:06.000 It's not going to make you happy.
00:37:07.000 And by the way, your voice, you sound like every nerd I've ever met.
00:37:13.000 You sound like every doctor I've ever spoken to.
00:37:16.000 Doesn't he sound like a doctor?
00:37:22.000 I am scheduled to take a class in the morning that's all about the process of turning one into the other.
00:37:27.000 And then the surgeon calls me later in the day, I guess to say like, you're sure you want that, right?
00:37:32.000 Then we'll probably decide on a surgery date.
00:37:35.000 Is that your final answer?
00:37:37.000 So, what method they're going to use.
00:37:39.000 Different doctors do different methods.
00:37:41.000 I don't even really know who my surgeon is yet.
00:37:43.000 And also, I need to get all of the hair on the cake pop stick removed ahead of time.
00:37:49.000 They need to zap every single follicle.
00:37:52.000 And that can take upwards of like a year.
00:37:54.000 It's all really exciting.
00:37:55.000 Whatever delays it, you should do.
00:37:55.000 Good.
00:37:58.000 On all of the updates.
00:38:02.000 This guy.
00:38:03.000 We gotta follow him.
00:38:04.000 I'm gonna get TikTok just to follow him.
00:38:09.000 I hereby predict that he will regret cutting his dick off.
00:38:13.000 And it'll go bad for him.
00:38:14.000 Bold claim.
00:38:15.000 Which reminds me of, by the way, I predicted the Rangers would win the World Series.
00:38:20.000 If you go back over my tweets.
00:38:22.000 Now, I thought it would be, they'd beat the Phillies and not the D-bags.
00:38:28.000 Who are the D-bags?
00:38:32.000 The Arizona D-Bags.
00:38:33.000 Oh, the diamond, oh.
00:38:35.000 Are you still supporting toxic products and companies owned by woke megacorporations?
00:38:39.000 Well, Patriot1776.stores found a solution.
00:38:41.000 A company committed to making their products in America.
00:38:44.000 They're privately owned, which means that BlackRock, State Street, and Vanguard can't get a voting interest by owning their stock and forcing ESG and D.I.E.
00:38:51.000 policies.
00:38:52.000 Someone stole my D.I.E.! !
00:38:54.000 I saw that.
00:38:55.000 Diversity, inclusion, and equity.
00:38:57.000 I saw that.
00:38:57.000 We made a t-shirt of it.
00:38:59.000 And Jordan Peterson is saying it now.
00:39:01.000 That guy, I think that guy got to clean my room from me.
00:39:04.000 Maybe I did.
00:39:06.000 What are you gonna do about it?
00:39:07.000 I don't mind, Jordan.
00:39:09.000 I just want it out there.
00:39:10.000 But I stole it too.
00:39:12.000 I got it from that dude Kennedy who did that self-help book that I helped edit.
00:39:17.000 Knockout, I think it's called.
00:39:19.000 So, I didn't invent it, but I popularized it, and then he fucking stole it.
00:39:24.000 And good.
00:39:25.000 Let a thousand flowers bloom, as Mao used to say.
00:39:28.000 I liked it better when you didn't like it.
00:39:32.000 Now it doesn't feel like I did anything at all.
00:39:35.000 Well, you didn't.
00:39:36.000 Shit.
00:39:37.000 Oh, we got the Karen shirt, by the way.
00:39:38.000 This company is... Oh good, we finally got that.
00:39:41.000 That took forever.
00:39:42.000 It did.
00:39:44.000 This company is making its own decisions employing Americans and not putting toxic chemicals into its products and food.
00:39:49.000 It's a membership service that can be thought of as a competitor to Amazon and the big box stores like Target and Walmart.
00:39:55.000 They have over 400 necessary everyday household items such as cleaning supplies, baby supplies, medicines, healthy snacks, weight loss and fitness products, personal care items and much more.
00:40:05.000 They're all high quality products that are just as good or better than their mainstream counterparts and at competitive prices for their members.
00:40:14.000 It's sort of like when you go on Amazon and you do that thing where you buy something regularly, you set it up to deliver dish soap every six months.
00:40:23.000 That's the system here, too.
00:40:27.000 So why give hundreds of dollars a month to corporations that hate us when there is an American patriot-owned company who is providing alternatives?
00:40:33.000 Go to Patriot1776.store today and fill out the form at the top of the page.
00:40:36.000 You'll receive an email or text soon after explaining how to get involved and become a member.
00:40:40.000 This could be a great solution for how to vote with your dollars when it comes to your family or household's monthly essential spending.
00:40:46.000 Patriot1776.store likes you more than a friend.
00:40:51.000 And I think we should go behind the paywall now.
00:40:54.000 I agree.
00:40:55.000 What do you think?
00:40:56.000 We would just shout out to Nita Fashions.
00:40:59.000 NitaFashions.com.
00:41:00.000 They make all my suits.
00:41:02.000 And they're on tour right now.
00:41:03.000 I think they're in Jersey.
00:41:06.000 You go there, you get fitted, you choose any suit you want from a whole bunch of different options.
00:41:11.000 So they're in D.C.
00:41:13.000 now, and then they're in New Jersey on the 5th.
00:41:18.000 Set up an appointment.
00:41:19.000 Most people seem to like to do it through their Instagram.
00:41:22.000 They update their Instagram quite a bit.
00:41:23.000 Instagram's Nita Fashions, N-I-T-A, Fashions.
00:41:30.000 And that's the end of the free part of the show.
00:41:31.000 We're gonna take calls and hang out with baby monsters.
00:41:35.000 Oh, speaking of baby monsters, by the way, Matty's crew is going to jail.
00:41:40.000 What?
00:41:40.000 Look at 2-6.
00:41:42.000 These are all his boys.
00:41:45.000 So, some dudes fucked, uh, some guy fucked Hells Angels' wife, old lady, and, uh, common law wife, so they tattooed a dick on his forehead.
00:41:57.000 Not a sharpie penis, a tattooed penis.
00:42:01.000 Warped Hells Angels justice revealed California biker was held down and forcibly tattooed for sleeping with rival's wife while his spouse was raped in revenge with others killed and cremated, court documents reveal.
00:42:12.000 Now you're reading this and you go, this must be the biggest Hells Angel justice thing that's ever happened.
00:42:20.000 Because they also allegedly killed three guys.
00:42:24.000 There was this, they got the keys to a crematorium and they would put a pizza in the oven, meaning they'd throw dudes in, they'd cremate them.
00:42:36.000 Go down,
00:42:38.000 So, uh, yeah, he was the public face of the Sonoma County chapter.
00:42:43.000 This is in California.
00:42:45.000 That's the house where it happened, I believe.
00:42:48.000 And then these guys, I think they're the ones who disappeared and they were cremated.
00:42:54.000 And then these are Matty's boys.
00:42:56.000 That's Rain Man, his, his bro.
00:42:59.000 So they're going to jail for life.
00:43:00.000 And if, if Matty was still in the Hells Angels, he would have been part of that.
00:43:05.000 And the craziest thing about this story, when you read it and you think, oh, this must be the biggest deal.
00:43:10.000 This isn't even close to their biggest deal.
00:43:12.000 Like the Hells Angels in Montreal were fucking murderers.
00:43:17.000 They murdered about 54 people.
00:43:21.000 And they were, the Rock Machine was this rival club in Montreal.
00:43:26.000 Montreal is completely ruled by organized crime.
00:43:28.000 People don't seem to think that.
00:43:30.000 It's totally different from Ottawa or any other Canadian city.
00:43:33.000 And Quebec is totally different from any other Canadian province.
00:43:36.000 Canada is like 100 years old.
00:43:37.000 Quebec is 400 years old.
00:43:39.000 And because it's a port, it's ruled by organized crime.
00:43:42.000 And that organized crime was the Hells Angels.
00:43:45.000 And Rock Machine were a group made up of other clubs that had been beaten and murdered by Hells Angels.
00:43:52.000 So they were an answer to them.
00:43:54.000 But they killed so many people that the Hells Angels in America, I don't know what chapter it was, charter sorry, they went up there and murdered the entire Montreal Hells Angels.
00:44:04.000 And they murdered them all because they were murdering too much.
00:44:10.000 I'm hearing myself on that speaker by the way.
00:44:13.000 Really?
00:44:13.000 Is that normal?
00:44:17.000 Oh, is it coming from the TV?
00:44:18.000 Was the TV... Did you use the TV?
00:44:21.000 Why are you pronouncing it like that?
00:44:22.000 The TV?
00:44:23.000 The TV?
00:44:24.000 Yeah, I guess it is coming out of the TV.
00:44:27.000 Poop.
00:44:30.000 All right, so that's we'll end on some crazy news there.
00:44:33.000 So yeah, please subscribe to censored TV You don't know what you're missing It's not just like I think a lot of you think that when you subscribe you get the second half of this show.
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00:44:59.000 Anyway, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.