Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

00:02:03.000 Oh Jesus.

00:02:04.000 We're already two calamities in and we barely started the show.

00:02:08.000 Oh, three calamities in.

00:02:09.000 There's silica gel on the ground.

00:02:14.000 What is happening with the money there?

00:02:17.000 Maybe you unplug it and plug in again.

00:02:20.000 Are people seeing?

00:02:21.000 I don't care really if I can see myself.

00:02:24.000 But I want...

00:02:26.000 Oh, there we go.

00:02:27.000 Welcome.

00:02:28.000 Happy New Year, guys.

00:02:29.000 Yeah.

00:02:30.000 Happy New Year.

00:02:32.000 Let's party.

00:02:34.000 Are you ready to party?

00:02:37.000 To be totally honest, we're getting older and we came up with this idea when we were drunk.

00:02:44.000 And then tonight, Ryan was home watching Harry Potter and I was watching David Blaine's 2020 special with my son.

00:02:55.000 Just kidding.

00:02:56.000 We're fucking jazzed to rocket with you guys.

00:02:58.000 That was Lil Nas X and his gay porn called Industry Baby, where he gyrates around in a jail cell with his bitches.

00:03:12.000 Let's watch a little bit more of that because I think it's a fun.

00:03:18.000 Oh, he's in it too?

00:03:20.000 I thought that dude has some cred, yo.

00:03:30.000 Oh, it's a making of kind of vibe.

00:03:35.000 You know, this reminds me of what that new Rochelle dude that Maddie grew up with, Lord Jamal, was talking about with rap.

00:03:42.000 And he's like, yo, you win rap's house when you make these songs.

00:03:49.000 And don't fag out, Mack O'More.

00:03:52.000 Now we have black dudes fagging out.

00:03:58.000 All right, Rocky Start, Rocky Start.

00:03:59.000 I can't really see without my glasses.

00:04:04.000 Gay has no place in hip-hop.

00:04:06.000 You know what I like about that?

00:04:12.000 That he's right?

00:04:13.000 I just like that it's unusual.

00:04:15.000 I was saying this to an insider at Fox the other day because I saw that dude, that really boring professor that's always on Tucker's show, the bald guy, and he was talking about how California is a plantation.

00:04:28.000 And I was like, before we even get into whether that's true or not, I just like that concept.

00:04:35.000 As a commentator, ideally you're an artist and you're giving someone a new perspective.

00:04:47.000 You know, an artist takes a toilet and then they put it on a pedestal.

00:04:51.000 I don't know, they paint it gold or some shit and they put a human head in it and you go, oh yeah, a toilet.

00:04:57.000 Yeah, I never really thought of a toilet.

00:05:00.000 It's a terrible example, but a commentator should take something and present a new angle you never thought of before.

00:05:08.000 Whether you agree or not, your job is to expand your brain.

00:05:11.000 Like, Ann Coulter sent me this article years ago by Peter Brimelo about smoking, and it was in defense of smoking.

00:05:19.000 And he goes quite simply, if you're getting on a plane and your pilot's a smoker, would you rather he had just had a cigarette or not had a cigarette?

00:05:26.000 And I was like, finally, something slightly outside the box.

00:05:33.000 Like Holocaust denial, fucking race and IQ.

00:05:37.000 I don't, I'm not scared of ideas.

00:05:40.000 Present them to me.

00:05:41.000 I'll refute them, obviously.

00:05:43.000 If someone's defending pedophiles and saying, you know, they're just minor attracted people.

00:05:48.000 They haven't actually fucked a kid yet.

00:05:50.000 Good.

00:05:52.000 Tell me more of your retarded ideas.

00:05:53.000 Let me indulge.

00:05:55.000 Even flat earthers, all that shit.

00:05:58.000 Even this new thing where Biden said, and we'll get to this later, we got a lot of best of 2021 here.

00:06:04.000 He said, this is the greatest economic success out of any president, past 50 presidents.

00:06:12.000 And you're like, okay, let me parse that out.

00:06:15.000 Because it's obviously, it has to be based in some reality.

00:06:20.000 And I think the some reality is, you know, the economy's been going like this, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, up, up, up, up, up.

00:06:26.000 And then we had this pandemic plunge.

00:06:29.000 And then maybe, like in the past, you know, couple, four months or something, there was a spike as we recovered or some businesses opened.

00:06:40.000 So they zero in on that spike and they go, look, it went up 700% in three days.

00:06:49.000 That's better than Nixon.

00:06:50.000 And you go, yeah, you're not, that's not, that's not, you're cheating.

00:06:55.000 But I like hearing.

00:06:56.000 $700 billion and a trillion $300 million billion dollars.

00:07:01.000 That never ends.

00:07:04.000 The clip's still going.

00:07:05.000 I have to cut it off.

00:07:06.000 It actually goes on for $700 billion, $300,000, billion, million seconds.

00:07:12.000 But yeah, this guy, what's his name again?

00:07:16.000 Harold Manson, I want to say?

00:07:19.000 You know the guy, the professor?

00:07:20.000 Well, you don't know anything.

00:07:24.000 I used to think he was a fucking snoozefest.

00:07:27.000 But Victor Davis Hansen, California is a Confederate society, he said, with a sick fixation on race.

00:07:36.000 Breitbart did a video.

00:07:37.000 I can send this to you now, Ryan.

00:07:40.000 And I'm like, let's get to whether I agree with that or not later.

00:07:45.000 But thank you for presenting something new.

00:07:50.000 You know, all this political discourse in this day and age is so fucking derivative.

00:07:55.000 And then someone goes, think of California.

00:07:59.000 The middle class is gone.

00:08:01.000 It's Mexican workers toiling all day, and then these aristocrats reaping the benefits.

00:08:08.000 That's a plantation.

00:08:10.000 Yeah, it kind of is.

00:08:12.000 Great point, Victor.

00:08:14.000 Maybe I don't hate you anymore.

00:08:18.000 Maddie O'Dell might show up.

00:08:21.000 He's been sick since Christmas Day.

00:08:24.000 Damn.

00:08:25.000 That sounds like a pogue song, doesn't it?

00:08:27.000 He's been sick since Christmas Day.

00:08:31.000 We played ping pong in the basement.

00:08:36.000 He was fucking knackered after he could barely stand again.

00:08:43.000 He said he's woozy.

00:08:46.000 I love you, Maddie.

00:08:49.000 Then I said, you better head home.

00:08:51.000 I'm doing a Zoom call with my parents and my in-laws.

00:08:55.000 He crawled into his van.

00:08:57.000 I helped him down the stairs.

00:09:00.000 He almost slipped and fell.

00:09:03.000 If he did, it would have been my fault.

00:09:05.000 And he shows up here tonight.

00:09:07.000 He has not left his bed since December 25th.

00:09:12.000 Geez.

00:09:13.000 Pretty bad.

00:09:14.000 And I'm like, maybe I gave you COVID.

00:09:16.000 And then I'm like, I've tested negative, but I think I had COVID.

00:09:23.000 I think I had Ivermectrid.

00:09:25.000 No, no.

00:09:25.000 Omnicron.

00:09:27.000 And I think these tests are bullshit.

00:09:29.000 Why was it at the beginning they had to go into your brain and now you just like touch your nostril?

00:09:35.000 Isn't that a weird thing?

00:09:36.000 They just changed?

00:09:37.000 I don't trust these results.

00:09:39.000 Anyway, go back to this genius.

00:09:41.000 The old Confederacy, they were obsessed with race.

00:09:44.000 And it was one droplet.

00:09:46.000 Everybody was trying to figure out when a baby was born what the precise percentage is.

00:09:51.000 And then they were a ranked society.

00:09:53.000 And where I go, when I get my email in the morning, it's all about one thing, race.

00:09:58.000 Race, race, race, race, race.

00:10:00.000 I turn on the television, white privilege, white privilege.

00:10:04.000 And then we have the same, can Elizabeth Warren pass as a minority?

00:10:08.000 Can Ward Churchill pass?

00:10:09.000 Can Rachel Dozo?

00:10:10.000 It's like African Americans in the South pine to pass as white people.

00:10:15.000 And it's just a sick fixation on our superficial appearance.

00:10:19.000 It's very Confederate society, California.

00:10:22.000 It's medieval feudal.

00:10:23.000 There is no middle class.

00:10:25.000 Medieval feudal.

00:10:28.000 Thank you for that new take.

00:10:30.000 While we're doing this, we should also watch Pete.

00:10:35.000 Dude, I don't know what the fuck it is with my brain.

00:10:38.000 I keep want to say Pete Best and Pete Libertine.

00:10:41.000 I cannot...

00:10:42.000 Pete Davidson.

00:10:43.000 Pete Davidson.

00:10:44.000 Pete Davidson.

00:10:46.000 I'm cursed with his fucking name.

00:10:49.000 Pete Davidson and Miley Cyrus, very easy name to remember.

00:10:55.000 They've got a...

00:10:56.000 Can you tune that in?

00:10:58.000 Do you have the power?

00:10:59.000 Sure, let's see.

00:11:00.000 While you dig that up, of course, I'll show you today's post.

00:11:03.000 End of an error.

00:11:05.000 This is actually brilliant because New Yorkers, a lot of Long Islanders will pronounce error era.

00:11:12.000 So End of an Era works perfectly.

00:11:15.000 The headlines at the New York Post are abnormally good.

00:11:19.000 They're disturbing.

00:11:22.000 I'll never forget when they called Monica Lewinsky a Portly pepper pot.

00:11:30.000 That's when I was like, I'm down for life.

00:11:33.000 I'm in.

00:11:35.000 They've got a big montage of all their de Blasio front pages.

00:11:40.000 D-Train arrives, meaning douche.

00:11:44.000 Who's the boss?

00:11:45.000 Wake up, Bill, to serve and reject when the cops wouldn't look at him.

00:11:50.000 St. Putz.

00:11:51.000 DeWaz.

00:11:53.000 Deutschbag.

00:11:55.000 Mayor feeds his ego in Germany.

00:11:58.000 Where's my parade?

00:11:59.000 De Blasio grapes.

00:12:00.000 He's not getting credit.

00:12:01.000 De Blasio runs for president.

00:12:03.000 It's just a picture of people laughing their heads off.

00:12:05.000 Everyone hates Bill.

00:12:06.000 Anyway, I know a lot of you don't care about New York City, but it is a microcosm of the American problem.

00:12:15.000 What's that now?

00:12:16.000 That's it?

00:12:19.000 So I, can I see some more of those dance moves?

00:12:23.000 Let's dance.

00:12:24.000 Yeah.

00:12:24.000 Let's named it out.

00:12:25.000 Let's names it out.

00:12:27.000 That suck.

00:12:28.000 Are you an old folks home?

00:12:32.000 I did that once for Fox News.

00:12:34.000 It is finding a white person in a haystack.

00:12:38.000 It's all Chinese.

00:12:41.000 You can't pee and you can't drink.

00:12:44.000 So I don't know why you want to fucking be there.

00:12:48.000 Oh, Ryan, do you have a big like 10?

00:12:51.000 Nine?

00:12:53.000 No, I figured we would watch the live one, right?

00:12:55.000 Because then we could see people react and stuff.

00:12:58.000 But we have to do that.

00:13:00.000 We gotta.

00:13:01.000 We gotta.

00:13:02.000 We got it.

00:13:03.000 We got it.

00:13:04.000 We got it.

00:13:05.000 We gotta.

00:13:08.000 So I want to do a green screen of the biggest lies of 2021.

00:13:16.000 Could we just dive into that now?

00:13:17.000 We could, we should.

00:13:19.000 That seems crazy.

00:13:20.000 You know what?

00:13:21.000 Why not?

00:13:23.000 Can I wear these and these?

00:13:27.000 Sort of.

00:13:28.000 Okay, I'm going to walk over to the green screen section, play more of that gay porn that little NAS X put together.

00:13:34.000 Gotcha.

00:13:35.000 And let's do it.

00:13:57.000 You can kind of see why blacks are so homophobic when you see that little Nas X video because you're like, wow, when Blacks are out of the closet, it's pretty intense doing a fucking prison video about butt fucking.

00:14:10.000 Anyway, that's not a lie.

00:14:12.000 Biggest lies of 2021.

00:14:14.000 Ryan, start with that fairy tales meme that I sent you that's been going around.

00:14:18.000 That kind of sums up the culture of 2021.

00:14:21.000 And it's tricky doing this because 2020 and 2019, Juicy Smoolé, Russia hoax, there's so many massive lies that have been going on.

00:14:32.000 I would say since 2015, that it's hard to isolate just this last year.

00:14:38.000 And there's also lies that sort of have kept going.

00:14:41.000 Like Juicy started, I think it was 2019.

00:14:45.000 It's still going now.

00:14:50.000 So yeah, pull up the meme.

00:14:52.000 It's right below the biggest lies of 2021.

00:14:54.000 Got it.

00:14:55.000 Got it?

00:14:56.000 Okay.

00:14:58.000 Okay, loading, loading.

00:15:00.000 Got it coming?

00:15:03.000 Fairy Tales 2021.

00:15:05.000 Insurrectionist.

00:15:07.000 And that was the Buffalo Man.

00:15:10.000 Who our buddy, the lawyer, says...

00:15:13.000 Ryan, you got the wrong little square in the corner.

00:15:15.000 That should be me.

00:15:16.000 Oh, frick.

00:15:19.000 Ian says he's a fucking genius, this guy.

00:15:24.000 He says he's super smart.

00:15:25.000 Ian Price, right?

00:15:29.000 Who's the lawyer we had?

00:15:32.000 What are you looking at?

00:15:32.000 John Pierce.

00:15:33.000 John Pierce, yeah.

00:15:35.000 He's like, this guy's fucking smart.

00:15:37.000 Famous painter, shitty artist.

00:15:40.000 He blows.

00:15:41.000 He literally blows.

00:15:43.000 He blows using a Coke straw.

00:15:47.000 He blows watercolors onto a canvas.

00:15:53.000 500 grand.

00:15:54.000 I'm sure Damien Hearst and Banksy would be thrilled with those kind of numbers.

00:15:59.000 No problem, buddy.

00:16:00.000 You're in there.

00:16:01.000 You're in the top 1% of painters.

00:16:04.000 White supremacist?

00:16:06.000 Fucking ridiculous.

00:16:08.000 And Dad, if you're watching here, can you please stop saying white supremac?

00:16:12.000 I don't know if you're doing it ironically, but it's getting on my nerves.

00:16:16.000 Hate crime victim, of course, we all remember when Elliot Page was a woman and she started crying on Colbert and talking about how horrible it is that he got beat up, you stupid cunt.

00:16:28.000 Keep going.

00:16:31.000 SUV that drove itself, Wokeshaw.

00:16:35.000 We're going to talk about that later, too.

00:16:37.000 What's amazing about Wokeshaw, I was talking to a buddy and he goes, they were saying to him, hey, how's that Jan 6 going?

00:16:44.000 It looks like you guys are all going to fucking jail.

00:16:46.000 You know how you still have friends that are liberal, that are like high school friends?

00:16:50.000 And they go, so my buddy's response was, oh, how's Waukesha going for you?

00:16:58.000 Murdering all those old grannies.

00:17:00.000 And he goes, dude, that was a police chase that ended in Waukesha.

00:17:05.000 And the guy made a bad left and ended up in a parade.

00:17:10.000 Total and utter fucking lie.

00:17:12.000 We'll get to that.

00:17:14.000 Gun that shot itself.

00:17:15.000 I mean, I don't really give a shit.

00:17:17.000 Does anyone really give a shit about the Alec Baldwin thing?

00:17:19.000 He's a douche, and I like when douches are in trouble, but it's sort of like the Jack Murphy thing, which we'll get to in a second.

00:17:26.000 I don't really care.

00:17:27.000 Humanitarian, of course.

00:17:29.000 Ridiculous.

00:17:30.000 Nothing to see here, Keelane Maxwell.

00:17:32.000 I got a little side note to talk about with Keelane.

00:17:39.000 And this might lose us subs.

00:17:41.000 It might make you guys mad at me.

00:17:43.000 By the way, Maddie rolled in while we were talking.

00:17:46.000 I got to be honest, I don't really give a shit about the Jeffrey Epstein shit.

00:17:51.000 I mean, if they were 12, 13, 14, if they were underage, then yeah.

00:17:56.000 And I've heard rumors of underage, but every time I see someone, they're 17.

00:18:01.000 That's the age of consent in America.

00:18:04.000 And we live in a, I'm not into fucking teenagers, but we live in a culture where it's like the Beatles' best song, she was just 17, or the straight cat, sexy and 17.

00:18:17.000 We had Jimmy Page and David Bowie fucking a 14-year-old groupie.

00:18:20.000 I mean, you guys have been okay with fucking teens for a long time, and I haven't heard a peep about it.

00:18:26.000 And we have this grooming going on with Pakistani Muslims in England where they're fucking 10-year-olds, 11-year-olds, 12-year-olds.

00:18:36.000 And we have these teachers grooming young children talking about LGBT and Q and what's, are you polysexual?

00:18:45.000 Like, I know, like, I don't want you fucking 17-year-olds, obviously, on a rich man's island, but part of me sort of goes like, where was the dad?

00:18:56.000 The 17-year-old said, I'm going away for the weekend to a rich man's island?

00:19:00.000 I don't know.

00:19:01.000 It rubs me the wrong way.

00:19:03.000 I'd rather you focused on pedophilia more than like teen sluts.

00:19:09.000 Anyway, not a great take.

00:19:10.000 I'm not proud of it, but I'm just telling you how I feel.

00:19:15.000 I said that to my wife today, and she got super mad about blaming the victim.

00:19:20.000 I don't know, man.

00:19:21.000 What is this 17-year-old girl doing going to an element?

00:19:24.000 When my girl's 17, she's not going to any rich guy's island.

00:19:29.000 All right, Let's start with number 10 biggest lies of 2021, and that is Biden's economy.

00:19:37.000 We just talked about that a second ago.

00:19:39.000 He has had the strongest first-year economic track record.

00:19:45.000 Now, we just covered this.

00:19:46.000 I already started butting the hand that feeds me, getting high on my own supply.

00:19:52.000 But the only way that could possibly be true is if they're talking about a month after reopening businesses and all of a sudden, like a million businesses had customers.

00:20:04.000 So that does seem like a misleading zoop.

00:20:08.000 That's what you got to do with these lies, too.

00:20:10.000 Don't just go like the earth isn't flat.

00:20:12.000 Find out why they think the earth is flat and then refute that particular claim.

00:20:17.000 That's how you win arguments when they go like, bin Laden bombed the World Trade Center because he hated our foreign policy.

00:20:25.000 And you go, yeah, I've heard that before.

00:20:27.000 He hated all our policies.

00:20:29.000 He hated America.

00:20:30.000 He hated infidels.

00:20:32.000 He hated anyone who wasn't Muslim.

00:20:34.000 It's not about one particular move in Afghanistan or Israel.

00:20:38.000 He's hated us since birth.

00:20:42.000 Number nine, Hunter's laptop is fake.

00:20:45.000 This was such a weird one.

00:20:47.000 I didn't quite understand this.

00:20:49.000 What's fake?

00:20:50.000 It's not his laptop.

00:20:52.000 Are the pictures photoshopped?

00:20:54.000 And why all of a sudden are journalists so worried about where'd you get that?

00:20:59.000 That seems to be a big thing now.

00:21:03.000 They're always like, oh, you stole that.

00:21:05.000 Or like with Biden's daughter's diary, James O'Keeffe shouldn't have it.

00:21:09.000 How'd he get that?

00:21:10.000 It's wrong that he has that.

00:21:13.000 Did that come up in Watergate?

00:21:14.000 Was that a big thing with Deep Throat where you were worried about how they found that information?

00:21:20.000 No one brought that up with Watergate.

00:21:22.000 They went, really?

00:21:22.000 Nixon's spying on everyone?

00:21:26.000 I'm more interested in the details of Hunter's laptop, which we all know, but we never really got to the bottom of.

00:21:32.000 Like that weird shit with Barack Obama's daughter.

00:21:35.000 Remember that?

00:21:36.000 It looked like her credit card was being used to cut lines.

00:21:39.000 And then we've got like Biden's daughter's diary.

00:21:43.000 Like, dad took a shower with me that was probably inappropriate.

00:21:48.000 What?

00:21:49.000 What do you mean?

00:21:50.000 I want to hear more.

00:21:51.000 Is our president a fucking pedophile?

00:21:54.000 Is our president's son someone who fucks young girls?

00:21:59.000 Like, yeah, Jeffrey Epstein levels.

00:22:01.000 Why is there no attention on Hunter Biden allegedly fucking Barack Obama's girls and his nieces?

00:22:09.000 But we're all worried about Ghylaine Maxwell.

00:22:15.000 To be, by the way, full disclosure, I went to Jeffrey Epstein Island many times and I fucked a bunch of 17-year-olds.

00:22:22.000 I feel like that's going to come out soon.

00:22:24.000 I should probably just get it out of the way now.

00:22:26.000 I'm obviously concerned about that coming out.

00:22:31.000 It's going to be embarrassing.

00:22:33.000 When it says Kevin McGinnis in the flight logs, that's me.

00:22:38.000 Number eight, of course, the Russia hoax.

00:22:40.000 This is kind of a tricky one because it's been going on for so long.

00:22:44.000 Hey, where'd I go?

00:22:48.000 But it was this year that we saw the man that Hillary worked with charged for, and again, we remember the whole Russia hoax, right?

00:22:59.000 They make up a fake steel dossier that says some dumb shit about Trump wanting prostitutes to take a piss on a bed that Barack Obama had been on or was going to be on.

00:23:09.000 What?

00:23:10.000 And then they use that to justify spying on the entire Trump campaign.

00:23:15.000 Wow.

00:23:16.000 So this guy was finally charged for that idiotic concept.

00:23:19.000 I'm holding the mic like Louis C.K., by the way.

00:23:22.000 Dude, his special is so fucking good.

00:23:25.000 There's one woke moment, and I'm at the point now where I have to just accept that there's one woke moment.

00:23:31.000 It's like being in India and knowing you're going to get diarrhea with every meal.

00:23:36.000 Like with James Bond, there was the woke moment where the black chick drives around in the scooter, and then they get in that glider, and he goes, have you ever driven one of these before?

00:23:44.000 And she goes, no, never.

00:23:46.000 And then she drives?

00:23:47.000 Like, why is she fucking driving?

00:23:49.000 She has 007.

00:23:50.000 So that was annoying, but it was only like two minutes in the whole thing.

00:23:53.000 So I'll take it.

00:23:54.000 With Louis C.K., there's one moment where he goes, I like that there's tons of genders, and I think that's cool, and you can be whatever you want to be.

00:24:03.000 Fuck you.

00:24:04.000 That's retarded, but I'll take it.

00:24:06.000 I don't mind.

00:24:08.000 Just a second.

00:24:10.000 My goal now is to minimize the wokeness to less than two minutes per hour and a half.

00:24:18.000 So yeah, Russia hoax, hugest lie of 2021 and 2020 and 2019.

00:24:24.000 Like a lot of these go back.

00:24:25.000 Juicy Smole has been on this list for five years, or sorry, three years.

00:24:31.000 Number seven, Build Back Better is Free.

00:24:35.000 I mean, when they said this shit, it's like, you're not even fucking trying.

00:24:40.000 You're going to spend trillions of dollars and it won't cost the taxpayer a penny?

00:24:46.000 What?

00:24:48.000 I did the math today.

00:24:50.000 Most people agree that it would be $5 trillion, right?

00:24:54.000 Bill Bupping Hedrak, including more than $2 trillion in spending tax cuts.

00:24:58.000 No, the total bill is $5 trillion.

00:25:00.000 That's $15,000 per American.

00:25:02.000 And when we say per American, we mean babies.

00:25:06.000 We mean hood rats.

00:25:07.000 We mean old ladies in fucking funeral homes, in old folks' homes.

00:25:12.000 So not everyone has $15,000 to toss around.

00:25:16.000 So it's actually a lot more for you and me.

00:25:20.000 Number six, the Waukesha police chase.

00:25:22.000 We just discussed that.

00:25:24.000 Have we got the actual guy, the police chief who's black, saying, no, that wasn't me?

00:25:30.000 Yeah, maybe you should just cut me out when you show these, Ryan, so we get to see the actual text.

00:25:34.000 Not for too long.

00:25:36.000 I don't want to be erased.

00:25:37.000 I'm not trans.

00:25:40.000 But have you got the clip there?

00:25:42.000 Number six?

00:25:45.000 It's not like there was sort of a police chase.

00:25:47.000 No, no, no.

00:25:49.000 Wait, that's the old clip, dude.

00:25:51.000 How did you get that?

00:25:52.000 I erased that.

00:25:54.000 What the fuck?

00:25:59.000 That's in the version That I have.

00:26:01.000 That's so fucking weird.

00:26:03.000 What the fuck?

00:26:04.000 Wait.

00:26:04.000 No, did you get...

00:26:06.000 Did you take it from the notes I just sent you before we started the show?

00:26:09.000 Oh, no, I have it in the separate screen.

00:26:11.000 So get it from the notes I sent you just before we started the show.

00:26:14.000 There's been updates, my friend.

00:26:16.000 There's been updates.

00:26:17.000 By the way, Miley Cyrus is rocking out right now with some lesbian in a 70s vest.

00:26:23.000 Yeah.

00:26:23.000 I'm resisting that.

00:26:25.000 No, she's too skinny.

00:26:27.000 Sorry.

00:26:28.000 That looks so fun.

00:26:30.000 I'm so jealous.

00:26:32.000 Don't you wish you could be there right now, waving your arms in the air?

00:26:37.000 There we go.

00:26:38.000 Provide an update.

00:26:40.000 At 4.39 p.m. on Sunday, November 21st, 2021, a lone subject intentionally drove his maroon SUV through barricades into a crowd of people that was celebrating the Wakshaw Christmas Parade, which resulted in killing five individuals and injuring 48 additional individuals.

00:27:03.000 I just received information that two of the 48 are children and they're in critical condition.

00:27:11.000 We have information that the suspect prior to the incident was involved in a domestic disturbance, which was just minutes prior, and the suspect left that scene just prior to our arrival to that domestic disturbance.

00:27:30.000 When the suspect was driving through into the crowd, one officer did discharge his firearm and fire shots at the suspect to stop the threat, but due to the amount of people had to stop.

00:27:45.000 Can you hold on for a sec?

00:27:46.000 So what the media did was they said, well, he had been in a domestic disturbance before this, and then there was that.

00:27:54.000 Ergo, I'm going to assume there was a police chase.

00:27:57.000 And that was on NPR, CNN.

00:27:59.000 Everyone just assumed there was a police chase.

00:28:03.000 And that's a big part of why this was just erased from the media books.

00:28:08.000 Why was it erased?

00:28:10.000 Is everyone petrified of a race war?

00:28:13.000 Are they petrified that this terrible behavior from black Americans is going to be, one of them is going to be a tipping point that makes all the fucking rednecks grab their guns?

00:28:24.000 I'm not joking.

00:28:25.000 I think that might be the impetus.

00:28:27.000 They're just like, I'm going to sweep this under the rug for the greater good.

00:28:31.000 Well, fuck the greater good.

00:28:33.000 I want to know what happened.

00:28:34.000 And what happened was he was not being chased.

00:28:37.000 And your job as a journalist is to tell us what happened, not just go, I don't know, maybe there was a police chase?

00:28:46.000 Keep going.

00:28:48.000 Oh, finally, he got it in the front of it.

00:28:51.000 Did not fire any other additional shots.

00:28:55.000 The officer is on administrative leave as part of the department protocol.

00:28:59.000 No one was injured as a result of the officer firing his discharge in his firearm.

00:29:05.000 The subject was taken into custody a short distance from the scene, and we are confident he acted alone.

00:29:12.000 There's no evidence that this is a terrorist incident.

00:29:16.000 Due to the wind yesterday.

00:29:19.000 Wait, that's it?

00:29:20.000 Yep.

00:29:21.000 Wait, go back to the original one then.

00:29:24.000 Because that did not help.

00:29:26.000 No, no, go up, go up.

00:29:29.000 That's the first, that's the one we just watched.

00:29:32.000 No, no, just let me see the quote, though.

00:29:34.000 Waxhaw police say Daryl Brooks intentionally drove his maroon SUV through barricades into a crowd of people at the Christmas parade.

00:29:44.000 Five dead.

00:29:45.000 Can you fucking imagine if the races were reversed?

00:29:49.000 A guy in a MAGA hat fucking killed five people and injured 48 at a black parade.

00:29:57.000 I mean, it's unimaginable.

00:30:00.000 But go back.

00:30:04.000 Go back to that line of text, tweets, Ryan.

00:30:14.000 No, no, no, not that.

00:30:15.000 Here, go back to my original getter thing from my account.

00:30:18.000 Yeah, there we go.

00:30:19.000 Click on that picture.

00:30:23.000 Zoom in.

00:30:23.000 I can't really read it there.

00:30:24.000 It says Waukesha police say Daryl Brooks intentionally drove his maroon thing, but CNN said that's the new tweet.

00:30:30.000 That's the only tweet I haven't seen yet.

00:30:32.000 Anyway, it was not a fucking police chase.

00:30:34.000 That is the media injecting an excuse for this guy.

00:30:40.000 Well, he just had a domestic thing.

00:30:42.000 Maybe there was some sort of police chase.

00:30:44.000 Yeah, the police are not that punctual, I'm afraid.

00:30:48.000 Number five, the vaccine is a vaccine.

00:30:52.000 I mean, I was trying to explain it to my eight-year-old, and he goes, but a vaccine is a vaccine.

00:30:56.000 I go, yeah, but this vaccine isn't a vaccine.

00:30:58.000 I go, you get a polio vaccine.

00:31:01.000 You can eat a salad bowl of polio.

00:31:03.000 You don't get polio.

00:31:05.000 I got the Hep C vaccine, whatever it's called, and I could fucking shoot up with my friends all day.

00:31:12.000 I might get AIDS, but I'm not getting Hep C. Which, by the way, I pretended to be gay to get.

00:31:22.000 And this was Rachel Maddow saying, look, trust me, guys, once you get this vaccine, the pandemic is over.

00:31:30.000 We're all going to be safe.

00:31:34.000 This has gone viral, of course.

00:31:36.000 Uh-oh, slow internet.

00:31:39.000 Are people on New Year's Eve using up?

00:31:41.000 There's no one in this building right now.

00:31:44.000 They just tried to reload it.

00:31:47.000 What's happening to the World Wide Web?

00:31:50.000 Let's see.

00:31:51.000 Post on the 26th.

00:31:52.000 Let me see if we can find it.

00:31:55.000 Look, everything's going slow.

00:31:57.000 Everybody's going to.

00:32:01.000 Well, we can wait.

00:32:02.000 Did Twitter...

00:32:04.000 This is a conspiracy.

00:32:05.000 Did Twitter implicate a new thing that stops...

00:32:07.000 It doesn't delete videos, but it stops them from being played.

00:32:10.000 Oh, it's like a new form of shadow banning.

00:32:13.000 No, I don't know this to be true, but this would be a good idea.

00:32:15.000 What's going on with Pete Best over there with Miley?

00:32:17.000 Pete Best, I think, is dead, but Pete Davidson and the crew.

00:32:29.000 Oh, that's the guy that was just In the gay video, oh, yeah.

00:32:37.000 Imagine thinking this is cool.

00:32:39.000 I mean, speaking black, that's not your accent.

00:32:42.000 There's no crowd there.

00:32:47.000 At least he doesn't dress black.

00:32:49.000 I'm a flirt.

00:32:49.000 Pick what I can get at this point.

00:32:52.000 All right.

00:32:52.000 Go back to Rachel.

00:32:53.000 What the fuck's going on, dude?

00:32:55.000 You're ruining New Year's Eve.

00:32:57.000 Good point.

00:32:59.000 Damn.

00:33:01.000 Huh.

00:33:02.000 Anyway, she goes on and says, the vaccine is the vaccine.

00:33:05.000 Wow, so that Bill Gates will load.

00:33:08.000 Yeah.

00:33:08.000 That's a trip.

00:33:10.000 See if you can leave that on in a separate window and we'll check back on it later.

00:33:14.000 Gotta.

00:33:14.000 Because that's fucking weird.

00:33:17.000 And then, of course, within number five, we have Biden saying, look, man, I got this under control.

00:33:26.000 Trump is killing you all.

00:33:27.000 If you elect me, I will come up with a plan that will end COVID in America.

00:33:34.000 And then just this month, he went, I don't know.

00:33:39.000 Fuck this.

00:33:40.000 I don't know what's going on.

00:33:41.000 I give up.

00:33:42.000 He gave up.

00:33:43.000 He said, I don't have a plan.

00:33:45.000 And what's amazing about this new Joe Rogan is this doctor who helped develop the vaccine.

00:33:52.000 He was just kicked off Twitter.

00:33:58.000 He goes, we had plans.

00:34:00.000 We had all kinds of processes involving ivermectrin, hydroxychloroquine, all kinds of therapeutic treatments that would help you cure your ales.

00:34:14.000 And Big Pharma said, no, we want the vaccine.

00:34:17.000 So let them get sick.

00:34:20.000 And then, Ryan, you're playing it on the wrong fucking screen.

00:34:23.000 No, I'm saying it up.

00:34:24.000 Oh, let them get sick and then give them the vaccine.

00:34:28.000 So this guy, what's his name?

00:34:30.000 Robert Malone?

00:34:31.000 Peter McCullough.

00:34:33.000 No, no, that was the previous guy.

00:34:34.000 This is a new guy.

00:34:35.000 This is just released today.

00:34:36.000 Peter Malone.

00:34:39.000 No, what's his name?

00:34:41.000 Robert Malone, yeah.

00:34:42.000 So Robert Malone goes, I think at least half a million deaths were the direct result of Big Pharma and their best, their PR firm, the media, and of course the DNC saying, yeah, fuck treating these people early.

00:34:57.000 Let's wait till they get really sick and then give them this awesome vaccine we can all get rich on.

00:35:03.000 I mean, we're getting to Stalinist levels of fucking murder here.

00:35:09.000 Well, he was more like 40 million, but we're creeping along.

00:35:13.000 We're getting there, folks.

00:35:15.000 We're getting there.

00:35:16.000 It's like in Quebec tonight, you can't party actually anymore, right?

00:35:21.000 What time is it?

00:35:23.000 It's 11 o'clock.

00:35:24.000 No more partying.

00:35:25.000 You could party till 10 in Montreal, in Quebec City, in all of Quebec, in Royan-Niranda.

00:35:32.000 But at 10.01, no more drinks are served.

00:35:35.000 You got to be out of there by 11.

00:35:37.000 And it reminds me of this Chilean faggot I knew named Maurizio who said he grew up under Pinochet, and they had a similar 10 to 5 curfew.

00:35:47.000 So you'd be at a party.

00:35:48.000 Actually, I think it was later.

00:35:49.000 It may have been like midnight.

00:35:51.000 But you're at a party, and you have to sort of look around at the party and be like, is this worth staying till 5 a.m.?

00:35:59.000 Because if I don't leave now, I can't leave till 5.

00:36:02.000 And if it was really fun, you'd go, yeah, let's do it.

00:36:04.000 Let's stay.

00:36:05.000 Let's stay.

00:36:06.000 And I thought, that's such a funny, weird life under a dictator thing.

00:36:11.000 Life under Pinochet, the man who threw communists at helicopters.

00:36:14.000 And God bless his cotton socks for that, by the way.

00:36:17.000 And then here we are in North America, in the West, and you have to look around at a party in your house at 10 and be like, is this worth staying till 5?

00:36:27.000 Because you cannot be out at midnight.

00:36:30.000 You may not be on the streets.

00:36:32.000 You will get arrested.

00:36:38.000 How's Rachel Maddow coming along?

00:36:41.000 Still not loaded.

00:36:42.000 Still not loading.

00:36:44.000 Can you try somewhere else?

00:36:47.000 What's going on with Pete and Miley?

00:36:50.000 I don't think it'll work.

00:36:52.000 It's acting like a cunt.

00:36:55.000 I don't know.

00:36:56.000 I try to make it work, but it's being a cunt.

00:36:59.000 By the way, Louie, your banana joke on the new special is exquisite.

00:37:04.000 Oh, thank you.

00:37:05.000 I appreciate it.

00:37:06.000 I'm Louie CK.

00:37:09.000 Yeah, that's clear.

00:37:10.000 Let's hear Miley and Pete being funny, though.

00:37:15.000 I don't even know how to smoke this thing.

00:37:16.000 What do you suck it?

00:37:18.000 No clue.

00:37:18.000 I've never done any drugs.

00:37:20.000 But didn't she used to do Molly all the time?

00:37:23.000 It was Tums.

00:37:25.000 Oh, shoot.

00:37:26.000 I forgot we're supposed to go on Instagram Live.

00:37:30.000 What up party is that?

00:37:31.000 This is like the 70s all over again.

00:37:36.000 Paul Lynn come out soon.

00:37:42.000 Man, I'm not even from Staten Island.

00:37:44.000 I lie about that.

00:37:46.000 Really?

00:37:46.000 Yeah, this isn't even my real voice.

00:37:49.000 This is my real voice.

00:37:51.000 Hello, I'm Pete Davidson.

00:37:52.000 My ideal night consists of a quiet gathering, white-wide little chases and some Scrabble.

00:37:58.000 This is my real voice.

00:37:59.000 Hello, I'm Miley Cyrus.

00:38:01.000 I'm a gamer.

00:38:01.000 Give me some Minecraft and a headset, and I'm happy as a gram.

00:38:05.000 This is the past.

00:38:06.000 We're normies.

00:38:07.000 Oh, dang, we gotta go live again.

00:38:09.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:38:10.000 It's almost New Year's, baby, and we're so horny and drunk.

00:38:15.000 And you know we're hitting the club after this.

00:38:17.000 And we like jokes should be based on reality.

00:38:19.000 These guys are drug addicts.

00:38:20.000 He is from Staten Island.

00:38:22.000 Shut up.

00:38:24.000 Okay.

00:38:27.000 Number four.

00:38:29.000 Climate change is our greatest threat.

00:38:31.000 We talked about this the other day.

00:38:33.000 We were looking at the temperatures of the summers.

00:38:37.000 And we went, yeah, it has been slightly warm recently.

00:38:41.000 Not really, though.

00:38:42.000 And it's been up and down all over the place.

00:38:45.000 The planet's 4.5 billion years old.

00:38:49.000 Climate change is not a threat.

00:38:51.000 And I'm sick of these old, and I'm sorry, they're predominantly Jewish.

00:38:54.000 These geriatrics saying, we're not going to have a planet for the kids.

00:38:59.000 Oh my God, There's going to be nothing for our great-grandchildren.

00:39:02.000 I still don't know what the fuck that means.

00:39:05.000 Does that mean deserts from coast to coast?

00:39:08.000 Is there a planet here at all?

00:39:10.000 Does it just blow up one day?

00:39:12.000 It gets so hot.

00:39:14.000 So fuck off with your climate change.

00:39:16.000 Anyone who believes that is retarded, and anyone who watches the way they've been treating COVID shows you that they'll take anything, racism, COVID, climate change, anything to scare you into tyranny.

00:39:29.000 Number three, of course, my favorite one, we cover it almost to a fault on the show.

00:39:34.000 White supremacy is the greatest threat to America.

00:39:38.000 My favorite study, of course, well, first of all, let's show the article just to assure you that people are saying this retarded shit, implying that there's just like thousands of deaths.

00:39:48.000 Even when I look at their bullshit data, like the ADL, it's like there was 34 deaths this year from white supremacy.

00:39:56.000 And you look it up and it's like some fucking drunk redneck killed someone that was fucking his girlfriend.

00:40:03.000 And he happened to be, have a Confederate flag in his lawn.

00:40:07.000 Even that is 34 a year.

00:40:11.000 Blacks are killing each other to the tune of 20 a day.

00:40:14.000 20 a day is nothing compared to the opioid epidemic, compared to obesity.

00:40:19.000 So big pharma and fucking fast food is killing way more, exponentially more people.

00:40:27.000 But we focus on white supremacy.

00:40:29.000 And it's not 34 a year.

00:40:31.000 It's three.

00:40:33.000 There are three people dying a year from white supremacy.

00:40:38.000 Look at these attacks.

00:40:39.000 So the dark, the blue is attacks, and then the dark numbers are actual deaths.

00:40:47.000 Look at these numbers.

00:40:48.000 Seven, one, nine, five.

00:40:54.000 That's fucking spider bites, assholes, and snake bites.

00:40:58.000 If you were scared of white supremacists, you were scared of spiders.

00:41:02.000 They are the same threat.

00:41:04.000 Actually, spiders and snakes are about twice white supremacy.

00:41:09.000 White supremacy is about three.

00:41:11.000 Hence, us choosing it as number three.

00:41:14.000 Number two, of course, COVID deaths are Trump's fault.

00:41:18.000 And we kind of covered this earlier.

00:41:21.000 But Biden said, I have a plan here.

00:41:24.000 I'm going to solve all your problems if you elect me.

00:41:27.000 All of these deaths are because Trump doesn't have a plan.

00:41:30.000 I have a plan.

00:41:31.000 And then later, he's got no plan.

00:41:33.000 So we did already cover that.

00:41:36.000 Wait, this is number two, Ryan.

00:41:39.000 How do you make so many mistakes every day?

00:41:42.000 I was checking up on Maddow.

00:41:44.000 And what's happening with it?

00:41:45.000 It's spinning, but I'm still looping.

00:41:47.000 Trying to see what they were saying in there.

00:41:48.000 Maybe I could search it.

00:41:50.000 What if you look up in Google Madow vaccine, I don't know, blunder?

00:41:59.000 And then, and I don't want to distract this with Madow, so let's do that in a second.

00:42:03.000 Let's focus here.

00:42:04.000 We're at the number one biggest lie in America in 2021.

00:42:09.000 It started at the beginning of 2021, a mere six days in, and that was that the meandering was an insurrection.

00:42:21.000 What the fuck are you talking about?

00:42:26.000 About 200 angry, disgruntled patriots who were pissed off about the election, which there's plenty to be pissed off about.

00:42:36.000 They're mad at the media.

00:42:38.000 They feel that they were robbed and they vandalized a building.

00:42:43.000 They broke some windows.

00:42:45.000 Feds were heavily involved in this meandering, in this vandalism.

00:42:51.000 We know Antifa was involved.

00:42:53.000 John Sullivan appeared on CNN and bragged about how he dressed up as a MAGA guy and smashed windows and got people attacked.

00:43:01.000 They told us that five cops died that day.

00:43:05.000 Five people were killed.

00:43:06.000 No, two people were killed.

00:43:08.000 It was our people.

00:43:09.000 Ashley Babbitt was shot in the neck.

00:43:11.000 Another woman right here, actually, you see her, was hit with a baton and eventually trampled to death.

00:43:19.000 We were the victims of our own meandering.

00:43:23.000 An insurrection in the world's most powerful country with no weapons and no plan is clearly not an insurrection.

00:43:33.000 Oh, no, I'm not saying you were going to take over the government.

00:43:36.000 I'm saying you were trying to fuck up that day's work.

00:43:39.000 Okay.

00:43:40.000 The radical left, first of all, that's not true that we were doing that.

00:43:43.000 But secondly, the radical left have been fucking up that day's activities for two years now with no prosecution, nothing, not even probation.

00:43:56.000 So go fuck yourselves.

00:43:57.000 I'm sorry that we misbehaved.

00:44:00.000 It won't happen again.

00:44:01.000 You've thrown us all in the fucking shoe for a year.

00:44:06.000 No trial, nothing for vandalism.

00:44:09.000 And the idea that it's an insurrection is not just the biggest lie of 2021, but it is the biggest lie of modern American culture.

00:44:22.000 Go fuck yourself.

00:44:29.000 Say your time is coming soon.

00:44:31.000 But it's like Oklahoma.

00:44:33.000 Mine is coming sooner.

00:44:34.000 I'm just looking boomer.

00:44:36.000 I done peeking in high school.

00:44:37.000 I'm still out here getting cuter.

00:44:39.000 All these social networks and computers.

00:44:41.000 Got these pussies walking around like damn losers.

00:44:44.000 I told you.

00:44:47.000 I got what they wait for.

00:44:51.000 Oh, shit.

00:44:55.000 So, against all odds, Maddie Odell is here, ladies and gentlemen.

00:44:59.000 He's probably not focused, Ryan, if you were aiming that camera at the green screen.

00:45:04.000 But I can't believe you're here, Maddie.

00:45:07.000 Yeah.

00:45:08.000 Is that good?

00:45:10.000 I don't know.

00:45:11.000 I didn't come initially because I thought other people were going to be.

00:45:14.000 I thought Emily and other people and other people were going to be here, so I didn't want to come in and fact.

00:45:22.000 So you don't want to be here?

00:45:24.000 No.

00:45:25.000 But I've been sick for six days now.

00:45:29.000 Have you left your bed for six days?

00:45:31.000 No.

00:45:32.000 Well, yeah, I mean, I went to the living room and the bathroom.

00:45:36.000 Stuff like that.

00:45:36.000 Oh, we get here, right?

00:45:38.000 Yeah.

00:45:38.000 Hello?

00:45:39.000 Put the light on him.

00:45:40.000 He's super dark.

00:45:42.000 God, you're so dumb.

00:45:44.000 Yeah, um.

00:45:46.000 It was a fucked up week, but you know, like, what were your symptoms?

00:45:51.000 No, no, that's not working, dude.

00:45:52.000 That's weird.

00:45:53.000 Get it more to his face.

00:45:56.000 When I left your house on Christmas, I was all my, it was funny when I went home and checked all my monitors and metrics.

00:46:06.000 Remember when I got up and was dizzy?

00:46:08.000 Yeah.

00:46:09.000 For between like 1 o'clock and 2 o'clock during those times, everything was through the roof.

00:46:15.000 1 a.m.?

00:46:16.000 No, no, in the afternoon.

00:46:18.000 But you were at my house at 1 a.m.

00:46:20.000 12 o'clock.

00:46:21.000 I got there.

00:46:21.000 12 to 3.

00:46:23.000 Oh, so you were checking your...

00:46:24.000 When I got home, I was looking through.

00:46:26.000 But I thought you got home later in the afternoon.

00:46:28.000 Yeah, like 3.30.

00:46:30.000 Okay, so you were checking your stats.

00:46:32.000 When I got home, because I was like, why am I...

00:46:35.000 Oh, I see.

00:46:35.000 I'm sorry.

00:46:36.000 So you look back and you sleep.

00:46:37.000 Yeah, and I looked and I printed up some of the things.

00:46:40.000 And I was like, everything just went through the roof.

00:46:42.000 Like, all my stress level, everything just went up.

00:46:44.000 And then I just went home and I crashed out and I slept for like 14 hours from that to Sunday.

00:46:52.000 And I got up, felt like shit.

00:46:55.000 I was supposed to go do something on Monday at work.

00:46:59.000 Called in and said, I'm not coming to don't.

00:47:02.000 I'm done.

00:47:02.000 Shot.

00:47:03.000 But my buddy, he had tested positive too.

00:47:07.000 He's like, oh, I'm positive too.

00:47:10.000 So, huh?

00:47:12.000 Yep.

00:47:12.000 But my symptoms start off sore throat, achy body, stuffy nose, cough, congestion, and just real bad fatigue.

00:47:25.000 So for like the first three days, I didn't leave bed really at all.

00:47:29.000 Not to eat, sleep, just get up, use the bathroom, and that was it.

00:47:33.000 So that's, it sounds like you had Omnicron and you quite shitty immune system, so you took it as bad as a COVID.

00:47:43.000 Yeah.

00:47:44.000 I would say, and I was kind of laughing about it because I said it was just about this time last year because January 2nd, I was in the hospital with COVID last year.

00:47:53.000 It's almost a year to the day.

00:47:55.000 I got to get a hat from you.

00:47:56.000 Do you want a hat and a blower?

00:47:59.000 So, uh, yeah.

00:48:02.000 You know, it sucks.

00:48:04.000 I mean, I'm still nasally and congested and stuff, but I think they cut the incubation time or cut it down to five days or some shit.

00:48:16.000 So.

00:48:18.000 So how did you feel tonight before you took any medication?

00:48:23.000 I've been taking NyQuil for the last four or five days, every four hours.

00:48:29.000 And I was doing my nebulizer breathing treatments.

00:48:33.000 What treatment?

00:48:34.000 My nebulizer.

00:48:35.000 Oh, right.

00:48:37.000 Why didn't you take some fucking horse paste?

00:48:40.000 Because I don't have a thing for ivermectin.

00:48:44.000 Well, get it.

00:48:45.000 I didn't go to the doctors.

00:48:47.000 Why not?

00:48:47.000 Because they don't treat.

00:48:49.000 They don't do anything.

00:48:50.000 Yeah, they're going to want to stick you with a bunch of bullshit.

00:48:52.000 Well, that's what that Robert Malone dude was saying.

00:48:54.000 He was like, they don't.

00:48:56.000 There's no treatment.

00:49:00.000 So let me know when you're at your, when your cancer's metastasized.

00:49:04.000 I've never had you seen me last year when I went to the hospital.

00:49:06.000 It was the worst fucking 10 days of my life.

00:49:09.000 Locked in a fucking COVID ward.

00:49:11.000 I had no room.

00:49:12.000 Nobody could come in.

00:49:14.000 I spent like $500 on fucking grub hub ordering food and having to beg the nurses to go downstairs and get it because the drivers can't come up to the room.

00:49:24.000 It was fucking terrible.

00:49:26.000 And they didn't treat you free.

00:49:28.000 Did they give you any drugs?

00:49:30.000 No, they, well, I, because I have asthma also, I was asking for my nebulizer and they're like, no, no, we can't give you nebulizers because it spreads the COVID around.

00:49:38.000 I'm like, I don't give a fuck.

00:49:39.000 I'm in a room by myself.

00:49:40.000 Fuck am I going to spread it to?

00:49:42.000 Yeah, what did they mean it spreads it around?

00:49:44.000 They didn't want to give me that.

00:49:46.000 They gave me, I made them, they tried to give me, because when I was there, you know, I was a little, had a little anxiety and I was a little upset and tried to think of all my underlying medical conditions.

00:49:59.000 And so I was getting a little irate with some of the doctors, but I did have a little baby monster moment there, two nights.

00:50:06.000 I think I told you about it.

00:50:08.000 Because they didn't want to give me anything.

00:50:10.000 I was like, listen, give me something to fucking sleep.

00:50:13.000 Give me, I don't care what it is.

00:50:14.000 So the guy gives me Ambien.

00:50:17.000 So I slept for like an hour and that was it.

00:50:19.000 And I was like, the next day I said, yeah, I said, I don't give a fuck if you give me a shot of that.

00:50:23.000 Do something, anything.

00:50:25.000 Knock me the fuck out.

00:50:26.000 And they're like, oh, we can't give you that because we've got to worry about your respiration, your heart, and blah, blah.

00:50:30.000 I'm like, I'll sign off any papers you want.

00:50:32.000 I want to fucking sleep.

00:50:34.000 So they gave me a shot of, I don't know what the fuck it was, some kind of fucking painkiller knocked me the fuck out to get some fucking rest.

00:50:44.000 Jeez.

00:50:45.000 Wow.

00:50:46.000 What an absolute fucking mess.

00:50:48.000 Yeah.

00:50:49.000 It's crazy.

00:50:52.000 But I don't want to relive that this year.

00:50:55.000 So I've decided not to go.

00:50:57.000 And how many people have died from that?

00:50:59.000 Oh, here we go.

00:51:00.000 Louis C.K. Oh, no.

00:51:02.000 I was going to say that I had COVID too.

00:51:05.000 And this is how I hold my microphone.

00:51:07.000 What happened was I had diarrhea.

00:51:10.000 And it was coming out of my gun.

00:51:14.000 And it was shit and piss and gunned.

00:51:19.000 Okay, that's pretty rude.

00:51:21.000 This is a family show.

00:51:22.000 We have kids watching.

00:51:24.000 Oh, I'm sorry.

00:51:25.000 I didn't know.

00:51:27.000 Yeah.

00:51:27.000 Well.

00:51:28.000 It's good to go, Louie.

00:51:30.000 Jesus.

00:51:30.000 Don't do that ever again.

00:51:31.000 Fucking Louie stinks.

00:51:33.000 At the end of his special, he's playing the song, How Does It Feel by Bob Dylan, which must have cost $9 billion.

00:51:40.000 And right as he's leaving the stage, right as the credits are coming up, he just goes, How does that feel?

00:51:46.000 He mouths those words.

00:51:49.000 And I was like, that's fucking brilliant.

00:51:51.000 Because he was a pariah.

00:51:53.000 He was locked inside his house for years.

00:51:55.000 He couldn't go outside.

00:51:56.000 He needed a mask to leave the house.

00:51:59.000 And we all went, haha, You jerked off with someone's consent.

00:52:02.000 Fuck you.

00:52:04.000 And then he was like, You just experienced my life for two years.

00:52:10.000 How does it feel?

00:52:10.000 You like that?

00:52:11.000 Sucks, right?

00:52:14.000 What was his big thing?

00:52:16.000 What did he do that was so terrible?

00:52:17.000 They canceled him and all that shit.

00:52:19.000 He beat off in front of women with their consent.

00:52:23.000 Do you mind if I jerk off?

00:52:27.000 Not even like mutual masturbation.

00:52:29.000 No, they would just, they would stand there by the door going, okay?

00:52:34.000 And he would just beat off.

00:52:36.000 They could have said no.

00:52:37.000 They could have left no.

00:52:38.000 It's not my cup of tea, but I don't have a problem with it.

00:52:41.000 They don't care.

00:52:42.000 I don't care what if it's consensual and you're adults.

00:52:45.000 I couldn't.

00:52:45.000 I don't care if you eat feces.

00:52:48.000 What?

00:52:49.000 Why does anyone give a shit?

00:52:50.000 And they go, well, they didn't really mean yes.

00:52:53.000 What happened was he was famous and he was using his power.

00:52:57.000 And you're like, he wasn't famous back then.

00:53:00.000 And I don't care how powerful you are.

00:53:03.000 If Tom Ford, the most powerful fag in the world, said to me, can I beat off and stare at you?

00:53:08.000 I'd be like, nope.

00:53:10.000 I wouldn't be mad.

00:53:12.000 I might even be flattered.

00:53:13.000 I'd be like, sorry, dude, that's not my cup of tea.

00:53:16.000 But, well, I could make censored.tv very popular.

00:53:21.000 Well, there must be another thing we could do, commercials, maybe a podcast.

00:53:27.000 But I'm not having sex with you.

00:53:29.000 Sorry, I'm not a prostitute.

00:53:32.000 The end.

00:53:33.000 The fucking end, you pussies.

00:53:37.000 I know a guy who sued Calvin Klein for that and won.

00:53:40.000 Oh, really?

00:53:41.000 Yeah, yeah, he was a male model.

00:53:42.000 And he wanted to sleep with him.

00:53:43.000 He's like, I'm not gay.

00:53:44.000 I'm sorry.

00:53:45.000 And he got all fucking twisted and sued him.

00:53:49.000 He didn't get that much money, though.

00:53:50.000 See, I'm not for that.

00:53:52.000 Like, you could say whatever you want to me.

00:53:53.000 Like, I could go outside and this guy could be like, hey, if you take a shit on me, I'll give you a million dollars.

00:53:58.000 Yeah.

00:53:58.000 I'd be like, sorry.

00:54:00.000 I guess Calvin Klein or whatever fucked with his future endeavors.

00:54:08.000 Or that he already was assigned to a campaign or whatever with him, whatever.

00:54:11.000 But he ended up suing him and he won.

00:54:13.000 Yeah, like people go, no, no, it got to the point where her whole career would be over if she didn't fuck him.

00:54:20.000 And I'm like, okay, get a new career.

00:54:24.000 I can't tell you how many MAGA people I know who have been canceled.

00:54:27.000 35 Proud Boys at least that I have on file.

00:54:30.000 Like, I don't know how many else there are.

00:54:32.000 Probably at least twice that.

00:54:34.000 They lost, not just like they can't work at Arby's anymore.

00:54:37.000 They can't do tattoos anymore.

00:54:40.000 Those guys just got new shit.

00:54:42.000 That's why I love being uncancelable.

00:54:44.000 This is genius.

00:54:46.000 Anytime somebody gets sued, they just make a suede product, and then you can't type in sued.

00:54:52.000 It just comes with suede.

00:54:53.000 Oh, great idea.

00:54:54.000 Dang.

00:54:56.000 Oh, wait.

00:54:57.000 We have an entered stone here.

00:54:58.000 Jack Murphy.

00:54:59.000 Oh, yes.

00:55:00.000 People keep asking us.

00:55:02.000 So I'm not going to not talk about this.

00:55:05.000 That would be gay.

00:55:07.000 Jack Murphy, we had him on the show.

00:55:08.000 We sat right here, talked a lot.

00:55:11.000 I knew he had a very sexual past.

00:55:13.000 He's got like a bunch of kids with different women.

00:55:16.000 I'm not a fan of that, but he seemed to be getting it together.

00:55:19.000 I sort of loosely brought it up and he shut it down during our interview.

00:55:24.000 So whatever.

00:55:25.000 I guess Sidney Watson, who does slightly offensive with Elijah Schaefer, she had done like a pube more research than me, but not a lot.

00:55:36.000 I bet she mentioned that she was interviewing Jack Murphy and someone said, ask him about this.

00:55:40.000 And he'd written an article many, many years ago about how he is into cuck stuff, like watching someone fuck his wife or his girlfriend, whatever.

00:55:51.000 I guess that's in the article.

00:55:53.000 That's not my cup of tea, obviously.

00:55:56.000 But I don't fucking care if that's what you do.

00:56:01.000 I've known cucks.

00:56:03.000 Fat Mike of Fat Records, he likes to get zipped up into a fucking rubber bag and have his wife roll around and kick him around.

00:56:12.000 Okay.

00:56:14.000 Dave MDC, the singer of MDC, he likes, he's in a band called The Submissives.

00:56:19.000 Like the cover of their album is them tied up and getting beaten by a woman and stood on and all that stuff.

00:56:25.000 I've actually sort of tried it a couple times.

00:56:27.000 Like I remember as a young man, this girl like tied my wrists with a rope and she put like an ice cube all over my body.

00:56:34.000 And I was just like, I undid the ropes really quickly and like the ice cube, my teeth were chattering and I was like, if I was into that, I'd be into it, but I'm not.

00:56:43.000 So whatever.

00:56:43.000 But you know, Roger Stone, for example, I don't know what he's into, but I've noticed every time I talk about perverts, he goes, well, chacun sangu, as they say in French, each to his own taste.

00:56:54.000 So I don't know what other people get up to sexually.

00:56:56.000 I don't give a fuck.

00:56:57.000 But anyway, Sidney said in their interview, she goes, so what, with her weird, like Australian-American accent, she goes, so what is with this cockoricou?

00:57:07.000 And I genuinely think she's a naive and nice girl.

00:57:10.000 I know her.

00:57:11.000 And she was not going for a gotcha moment, which if something's public, you're kind of allowed a gotcha moment.

00:57:19.000 And you're also allowed to do it if you phrase it like that.

00:57:22.000 Like she didn't dig up something from high school that no one knew about that a private investigator dug up.

00:57:28.000 The article's out there.

00:57:30.000 So he goes, fuck you for mentioning that.

00:57:33.000 Fuck you.

00:57:35.000 Heartfelt.

00:57:36.000 That's a little rich.

00:57:39.000 And then a bunch of porn came out that he's in.

00:57:44.000 And I guess he was on this site called Chadsterbait, which is the weirdest shit ever.

00:57:49.000 I watched a ton of it.

00:57:50.000 I've watched his wife, which was his girlfriend back then, lick his butthole.

00:57:55.000 Tongue fuck his ass as he beats off.

00:57:57.000 Toss his salad.

00:57:58.000 I've seen it.

00:58:00.000 And but what you do is, I guess you're like a cam girl, but you're a couple and you fuck each other.

00:58:10.000 And I guess people on the chat, I don't know if they're showing you sex too, but I think they just say like, well, you lick his butthole.

00:58:16.000 Here's 10 bucks.

00:58:18.000 Yeah.

00:58:18.000 Because I think during the thing, he was like, 69 bucks for a 69.

00:58:23.000 So you're watching someone you know fuck.

00:58:28.000 Which, I mean, I've had threesomes.

00:58:30.000 It doesn't really bother me to see other people fuck.

00:58:32.000 But I couldn't help but think about their kids.

00:58:34.000 Like, if there was a video of my wife tongue fucking my ass, I'd be like, really hope the kids don't stumble upon this.

00:58:43.000 Oh, man.

00:58:44.000 But besides that, I don't really give a shit about any of this.

00:58:47.000 Yeah, me neither.

00:58:48.000 It was so weird because it's like the most salacious thing I've like ever heard.

00:58:52.000 But I also don't care.

00:58:53.000 And I didn't watch it just out of his privacy.

00:58:56.000 I didn't watch it out of the privacy of the man.

00:59:01.000 You know what I mean?

00:59:01.000 I'm not like that.

00:59:03.000 I thought of not doing that, but then I thought, I want to watch this.

00:59:06.000 Like, if I knew Matty was in a gay porn, I wouldn't be like, no, thank you.

00:59:10.000 I'd be like, ooh, I got to see it in.

00:59:12.000 And then I'd sort of be like, hey, fellas.

00:59:17.000 I wouldn't go like not watching it.

00:59:19.000 But it would also be weird that like they, it wasn't a hidden camera.

00:59:24.000 Right, right, right, right.

00:59:25.000 And here's the other weird thing about, I've never seen this kind of porn before, but as they're sucking fucking, they're not looking at each other.

00:59:33.000 Oh, really?

00:59:33.000 Their eyes are over here on the screen.

00:59:35.000 So they're like looking and they're beating off and they're blowing and they're always like, yeah.

00:59:39.000 And I don't know what's on the screen.

00:59:41.000 I guess it's like, oh yeah, suck that dick.

00:59:43.000 The comments or something?

00:59:44.000 Yeah.

00:59:44.000 So you're just looking at comments?

00:59:46.000 I don't.

00:59:47.000 I don't get it.

00:59:48.000 But obviously you knew if you were doing a sexual video and people were paying for it, that it's going to be out there.

00:59:56.000 Yeah.

00:59:56.000 So anyway, that went viral and there's like 50 of these videos.

01:00:00.000 And Jack was like, I'm going to fucking sue you.

01:00:02.000 This is revenge porn.

01:00:03.000 And you're like, no, no, revenge porn is private images between two people that get out.

01:00:12.000 This was like, it's sort of like, you know, every time I would take pictures of people or film people on the street, they'd go, I don't give you permission.

01:00:20.000 And I go, you're in a public place.

01:00:22.000 You knew some people would see you.

01:00:23.000 Well, now more people are going to see you.

01:00:25.000 There's no expectation of privacy in public.

01:00:27.000 Yeah.

01:00:28.000 And this happened in, it was actually a precedent-setting case in Montreal where this couple was having an affair.

01:00:34.000 And it was a guy holding his mistress's hand.

01:00:37.000 And they were like this.

01:00:38.000 And it said, springing into spring or something in the Montreal Gazette.

01:00:42.000 And that was his mistress.

01:00:44.000 His wife saw it.

01:00:46.000 They sued.

01:00:46.000 And the judge said, look, you're holding your mistress's hand.

01:00:50.000 You're jumping through the weeds in the park.

01:00:53.000 You knew 100 people were going to see you.

01:00:56.000 Well, now 100,000 people saw you.

01:00:58.000 So your problem is going to happen.

01:00:58.000 I'm going to ask us to take a picture.

01:01:00.000 Yeah.

01:01:01.000 Sorry.

01:01:01.000 It was a staged event.

01:01:04.000 Got to be quick on your feet.

01:01:05.000 Yeah.

01:01:06.000 If you're fucking hiding in your living room and someone jumps in and takes a picture of you, I get it.

01:01:11.000 What is this weird little patch?

01:01:13.000 It's very distracting.

01:01:14.000 It's ruining 2022.

01:01:18.000 Yeah, we're getting a lot of comments about that.

01:01:20.000 Really?

01:01:21.000 No.

01:01:23.000 That's funny, though.

01:01:24.000 That would be amazing.

01:01:26.000 So we're meant to bring that up.

01:01:28.000 And there's all this porn of Jack Murphy.

01:01:29.000 And now, because he's threatening to sue people and he's saying, you know, find out dirt on these, on Elijah's getting attacked, Sydney's getting attacked.

01:01:38.000 It's a huge fucking thing.

01:01:39.000 And Jack, if you're watching, dude, when something like that comes up, don't say fuck you.

01:01:44.000 You go, I've had a crazy past and it's been a crazy journey to get here.

01:01:50.000 And I look back at the shit I did back then and I go, yeah.

01:01:55.000 Not a big deal.

01:01:56.000 That's all you got to do.

01:01:57.000 It's like, not a big deal.

01:01:58.000 Now, now with Louis C.K., he said that, and they said, fuck you, you're still canceled.

01:02:03.000 So, but I know what doesn't help, and that's attacking the people who innocently brought it up, not trying to frame you.

01:02:12.000 You know what I've been great?

01:02:13.000 What?

01:02:14.000 He could have broke the internet when she was like, what about that cuck article?

01:02:18.000 And he was like, and then from that moment, he just had a Mexican accent.

01:02:23.000 He addressed it.

01:02:24.000 He made videos.

01:02:24.000 He's like, listen, people, that was a long time ago.

01:02:28.000 I don't stand by it.

01:02:30.000 And now it's about masculinity, right?

01:02:32.000 It's about the families together.

01:02:34.000 And show what I did was gross, nasty.

01:02:37.000 I don't like it.

01:02:38.000 And then just never talk about that he's turned Mexican.

01:02:41.000 Ryan's advice.

01:02:42.000 Yeah.

01:02:42.000 So you can take it, anyone's advice.

01:02:45.000 You got mine.

01:02:46.000 I said, like, just say I made some mistakes, whatever, I got here.

01:02:50.000 Or you can take Ryan's advice and pretend that you're Mexican.

01:02:53.000 For the rest of it, yeah, never break character.

01:02:55.000 Whatever you want.

01:02:56.000 That's the important part.

01:02:57.000 Never break character.

01:02:57.000 Whatever you want.

01:02:58.000 But I just, I wouldn't be aggressive if there's.

01:03:00.000 Plus, you get the Streisand effect.

01:03:02.000 And I'm sitting there like hiding from my kids watching Jack get his butthole licked as he jerks off.

01:03:08.000 Right.

01:03:09.000 Well, whatever.

01:03:10.000 Say kumsa, whatever they say.

01:03:12.000 Oh, look.

01:03:15.000 Let's go with that guy.

01:03:17.000 Amazing.

01:03:18.000 What we have here is moments, the best moments, 20 seconds of the best moments of GOML.

01:03:27.000 Okay, look at that.

01:03:27.000 We got an ascot on.

01:03:28.000 I haven't worn that in a while.

01:03:30.000 And this is actually from Free Speech Days.

01:03:31.000 Oh, okay.

01:03:33.000 Not allowed to say that anymore.

01:03:34.000 Let's hit it.

01:03:35.000 Okay, here we go.

01:03:36.000 Great moment from 2021.

01:03:38.000 This doesn't look like 2021.

01:03:40.000 In fact, women should watch these movies that men are in and go, that's my little guys running around stopping bank robbers.

01:03:49.000 I love it.

01:03:50.000 I love you guys.

01:03:52.000 But no, we keep talking about women as men, and I'm sorry, ladies, but you make shitty men.

01:04:00.000 It's just like Clark Kent.

01:04:02.000 He's not a good jerk.

01:04:04.000 That was 20 seconds of one of the best moments of, well, that was 2020.

01:04:10.000 But some of them.

01:04:13.000 That was great.

01:04:15.000 That was almost as good as your Mexican advice.

01:04:22.000 So you're bookending that, right?

01:04:23.000 You're not going to show us enough.

01:04:25.000 Plenty more.

01:04:25.000 Speaking of best of 2021, I don't really got a lot.

01:04:29.000 Like, I tried to do the best TV shows, best movies, and I looked up the New York Post, had a bunch today, and I was like, nah, those are gay.

01:04:40.000 Those suck.

01:04:41.000 So don't get your hopes up, folks.

01:04:43.000 And Ryan and Maddie, if you have any others, I'm happy to.

01:04:46.000 Sure, sure.

01:04:47.000 The best new co-host on Geomal Live.

01:04:49.000 Yeah.

01:04:50.000 Maddie.

01:04:50.000 Maddie O'Dell.

01:04:53.000 Man crawls out of bed after six days.

01:04:56.000 I had to wear a hat because I was laying in the couch.

01:04:59.000 What were your bowel movements like?

01:05:01.000 Few and far between.

01:05:03.000 Just like a little raisin every fucking day.

01:05:05.000 Yeah, because I wasn't 30 hours?

01:05:07.000 I was kind of just the first three days, literally, I just slept.

01:05:12.000 Water, slept, medicine.

01:05:14.000 And then my cousin went and my sister got me food and everything.

01:05:17.000 And you know what it was Yayo went and got the booster shot and then came home.

01:05:24.000 And he was sick for like four days before Christmas.

01:05:27.000 And I think I got it from him.

01:05:28.000 No way.

01:05:29.000 Yeah.

01:05:30.000 Because like, see, you got to go get that fucking stupid booster shot.

01:05:34.000 And he was knocked out for like four days, coughing and hacking all over the apartment.

01:05:37.000 And I was like, oh.

01:05:39.000 Then I started it.

01:05:40.000 That booster doesn't sound like good news, man.

01:05:42.000 No.

01:05:43.000 I think God has handled this.

01:05:45.000 I think God went, you know what?

01:05:46.000 You guys are getting on my nerves.

01:05:48.000 I'm just going to give you Omnicron.

01:05:50.000 It's a mini vax.

01:05:52.000 It's a mini COVID.

01:05:53.000 You're all going to get it.

01:05:54.000 And I don't want to hear any more of this.

01:05:56.000 The thing is, everyone that I've spoken to, literally everyone that I know, is sick.

01:06:04.000 Sick.

01:06:06.000 I've had a little diarrhea, but that went away.

01:06:09.000 I was having diarrhea for a while, and it didn't smell like poo.

01:06:12.000 It smelled like coins or metallic, right?

01:06:15.000 Yeah.

01:06:16.000 Yeah.

01:06:17.000 Hmm.

01:06:18.000 Interesting.

01:06:19.000 Mine smelled weird, but not like coins.

01:06:21.000 So maybe there's something there.

01:06:23.000 It probably smelled like kimchi, I'd imagine.

01:06:25.000 I did make a kimchi stew, but it didn't smell like kimchi.

01:06:28.000 It smelted weird.

01:06:30.000 I'm not even going to tell you.

01:06:32.000 I liked What We Do in the Shadows.

01:06:34.000 I liked The White Lotus.

01:06:35.000 I thought Nobody was a good movie.

01:06:38.000 Movies to watch with the kids.

01:06:40.000 I liked No Time to Die besides those two woke things.

01:06:44.000 Venom was good to watch with the kids.

01:06:45.000 Corella's good to watch with your daughter.

01:06:47.000 Luca's good to watch with your son.

01:06:52.000 What about Squid Game?

01:06:53.000 Does that make sense?

01:06:54.000 Squid Games was good.

01:06:56.000 Do you need me to tell you this?

01:06:58.000 Like you were around.

01:06:59.000 Hanging out with Tactical Tim?

01:07:00.000 Tactical Tim was a lot to handle.

01:07:04.000 That man loves to chat.

01:07:06.000 Great guy.

01:07:08.000 Wait, what was going to say about that?

01:07:09.000 No Time to Die.

01:07:11.000 No Time to Die.

01:07:13.000 Venom, Cruella.

01:07:15.000 You liked Venom?

01:07:16.000 Yeah, it was good.

01:07:17.000 I mean, for a kid, like, I don't want to watch it on my own.

01:07:20.000 Right.

01:07:21.000 You do.

01:07:22.000 I did see it, yes.

01:07:23.000 But I don't watch children's shows.

01:07:26.000 Why didn't you love it?

01:07:27.000 It just seemed kind of gay, too.

01:07:29.000 Like, a dude's in you.

01:07:30.000 Oh, yeah, that is good.

01:07:32.000 At all times.

01:07:33.000 Right.

01:07:33.000 And it's a black dude.

01:07:34.000 It's a black alien dude.

01:07:36.000 That sounds like hell on earth.

01:07:39.000 You don't have your own thoughts?

01:07:41.000 I would just kill myself.

01:07:46.000 Nobody, although it's clear Bob Odenkirk was lying.

01:07:49.000 Ah, whatever.

01:07:50.000 I forgot.

01:07:51.000 Here's something I've been wanting to talk about.

01:07:53.000 And we're getting close to 2021.

01:07:56.000 Holy crap, yeah, 20 minutes issue.

01:07:57.000 But this woke ubiquity, like it's in fucking everything.

01:08:01.000 And I just want to escape it.

01:08:03.000 So in the past week, I've said to my wife, I just want to get away from race and fucking woke and everything.

01:08:10.000 So I get like a bird magazine just about birds.

01:08:15.000 I wish I could, birds to me are like guitars.

01:08:17.000 Like I wish I could play, but I just, I can't remember all their fucking names.

01:08:21.000 I wish I could be a bird guy.

01:08:22.000 So I'm reading about these birds.

01:08:24.000 And then there's an article in there about a river in Mexico.

01:08:29.000 Okay.

01:08:30.000 I guess a lot of birds like to go there when it gets cold.

01:08:33.000 And there's this professor, Silver was his name.

01:08:35.000 And then this quote was in there.

01:08:37.000 Silver likens the river's survival of the Trump years to a patient living through a heart attack.

01:08:46.000 The river runs in the U.S. and down to Sonora in Mexico.

01:08:51.000 What?

01:08:53.000 So Trump almost ruined this river by, I don't know, being a racist?

01:08:58.000 And I'm trying to read about fucking birds.

01:09:01.000 And then I got that book I told you about for Christmas, my one present.

01:09:04.000 By the way, if my family's watching, a little scant on the Prezis this year.

01:09:09.000 A fucking book?

01:09:11.000 Ryan got me more.

01:09:13.000 But it's Ralph Steadman is one of my favorite artists, and he did this book about critters, and it's all about endangered critters, whatever.

01:09:20.000 So they, I just, I like looking at his drawings.

01:09:23.000 I don't really care what he's drawing.

01:09:24.000 But like you're reading it, and there's this thing about the Bonobo monkeys, right?

01:09:29.000 These are the ones that...

01:09:30.000 Bonobos.

01:09:31.000 Bonobos.

01:09:32.000 They're the ones that are the most like us.

01:09:34.000 They're so sexually active.

01:09:36.000 Yeah, they're monogamous, too, I think.

01:09:39.000 They settle down, I believe.

01:09:41.000 They fuck all the time, though.

01:09:42.000 So I'm reading with them, and they go, the bonobos are a matriarchy.

01:09:48.000 They're run by the women.

01:09:49.000 Maybe we could learn a thing or two from them.

01:09:51.000 And I'm like, oh, for fuck's sake.

01:09:55.000 It's a monkey book.

01:09:57.000 Stop.

01:09:59.000 And so I'm like, all right, I've had enough.

01:10:01.000 I told you about Louis C.K. I told you about James Bond.

01:10:04.000 The equalizer, of course, is the funniest example of that, where Queen Latifah is not just going to beat up the agent that was assigned to monitor her, but she's going to take apart the entire CIA because they fucked with her car.

01:10:16.000 If you go near my car again, I'm shutting the whole operation down.

01:10:19.000 You're shutting down the CIA?

01:10:21.000 Queen Latifah, you're my age and you're a fat black woman.

01:10:25.000 Go ahead, fight me right now.

01:10:27.000 I'll be reading a magazine while you wail away on me.

01:10:31.000 She's beating up like seven Russian fucking mobsters who are armed with guns.

01:10:36.000 Like she deks out the bullets.

01:10:38.000 It's fucking annoying.

01:10:39.000 But I finally get this book, I Am Not a Gangster by Bobby Cummins.

01:10:46.000 And I had seen him on YouTube.

01:10:48.000 He talks about being an East London gangster in the 50s and 60s and 70s.

01:10:53.000 Good.

01:10:54.000 Not 50s and 60s was a kid.

01:10:56.000 So 70s and 80s.

01:10:57.000 I'm like, okay, I think we can escape woke shit here.

01:11:01.000 This guy's a murderer.

01:11:03.000 He was around in the 60s and 70s.

01:11:05.000 He was like a Tony Soprano of East London.

01:11:08.000 There he is.

01:11:09.000 That's him today.

01:11:10.000 All right?

01:11:12.000 So I'm reading his book called I Am Not a Gangster, which, by the way, sort of like Jason Riley's book, Please Stop Helping Us, where he has a black hunk on the cover.

01:11:23.000 That's not him.

01:11:24.000 Bobby Cummins' cover is a gorgeous babe.

01:11:30.000 Don't do that.

01:11:32.000 If you're doing an autobiographical book about your life in crime, use your fucking face, dude.

01:11:37.000 What are you doing?

01:11:39.000 Find it all over.

01:11:40.000 Maybe he identifies as a sexy hot woman.

01:11:43.000 No, sexy hot dude.

01:11:45.000 He's like, there's a male model on the cover.

01:11:47.000 That's what he looks like.

01:11:50.000 So that's what he looks like there in the black and white.

01:11:52.000 But the cover of the book, it's called I Am Not a Gangster, is like this attractive man.

01:11:58.000 Anyway, I'm reading the book, and I'm like, finally, I'm dumb with woke.

01:12:02.000 I can get a break.

01:12:04.000 And he talks about this.

01:12:05.000 Yeah, there he is.

01:12:06.000 Look at the hunk.

01:12:07.000 That's not him.

01:12:09.000 But he talks about the way it was back then.

01:12:12.000 And this is the same way in the 70s when I was a kid, is your crew was not all rock stars.

01:12:18.000 Like, you had a retard, you had a blind guy, you had someone's four-year-old brother.

01:12:23.000 It was not the fucking the Avengers.

01:12:27.000 And there was this kid, Bill, they called Silly Billy, because he was slow.

01:12:31.000 And he was, they were all like eight, and he was 14, but he hung out with them.

01:12:35.000 And he carried around a stuffed animal, a doll, and it was a gollywog doll.

01:12:40.000 And I had one.

01:12:40.000 I have one.

01:12:41.000 In Glasgow, you always had a gollywog doll.

01:12:44.000 And it wasn't just the dolls.

01:12:46.000 They were on chocolates.

01:12:46.000 They were on tea.

01:12:47.000 It was a popular depiction of a Negro.

01:12:50.000 And no one really thought about it.

01:12:52.000 So anyway, I'm reading about this, and everything's fine.

01:12:55.000 And then he's talking about his gollywog doll.

01:12:57.000 I'm ready to move on.

01:12:58.000 He goes, there it is.

01:12:59.000 And he goes, you know, we didn't make nothing of that gollywog doll.

01:13:03.000 We didn't worry about it.

01:13:04.000 But, you know, today you can't have a gollywog doll.

01:13:08.000 And race wasn't a thing back then with us.

01:13:10.000 We were just, we were all, we was all broke.

01:13:12.000 And there was this black geezer down the road and he hung out with us.

01:13:16.000 He messed about with our gang.

01:13:17.000 And no one saw him as a black geezer.

01:13:19.000 We just saw him as a bloke.

01:13:21.000 Now, he's not being woke.

01:13:23.000 He's saying, I don't like woke shit.

01:13:24.000 It's still in my fucking book.

01:13:27.000 It's still in my grill.

01:13:30.000 Like, I can't hide anymore.

01:13:32.000 Birds.

01:13:33.000 I hate this fucking shit.

01:13:36.000 Fucking monkeys.

01:13:38.000 I hate this fucking comedy.

01:13:41.000 The equalizer.

01:13:43.000 I am done.

01:13:43.000 007.

01:13:45.000 007.

01:13:46.000 Gangsters from the 60s.

01:13:48.000 I'm not even into his gangster life yet.

01:13:50.000 I'm at the beginning of the book.

01:13:51.000 He's fucking 10.

01:13:53.000 Don't eat that boo-poo!

01:13:58.000 All right.

01:13:59.000 How are you doing, Gavin?

01:14:01.000 Gavin?

01:14:01.000 Wow, we're really zipping through this.

01:14:04.000 I wanted to, we did the biggest lies.

01:14:06.000 I want to just take a brief look.

01:14:08.000 And guys, please feel free to interrupt.

01:14:13.000 But biggest stories of 2021.

01:14:18.000 We got to cover them, right?

01:14:20.000 Sure.

01:14:21.000 Obviously, January 6th was big.

01:14:24.000 Ryan Katsu Rivera quitting was huge.

01:14:27.000 That's true.

01:14:28.000 Kyle Rittenhouse declared innocent.

01:14:33.000 Is he here?

01:14:34.000 Do we have Kyle?

01:14:36.000 I am.

01:14:38.000 Hey, Kyle, congratulations.

01:14:40.000 Throwing Prowboys under the bus was not your greatest moment, but whatever.

01:14:45.000 I agree.

01:14:47.000 Not the best move.

01:14:50.000 Here I am.

01:14:52.000 Okay.

01:14:53.000 We're ready for you.

01:14:57.000 Okay.

01:14:58.000 Let me just turn my hat.

01:15:01.000 My hat was not in the most iconic place, but now it is.

01:15:09.000 And what did the guys say to you about that?

01:15:11.000 There was a threat there about seeing you later on, what they were going to do.

01:15:15.000 Right.

01:15:17.000 Well, when I was coming back from car source number eight, Mr. Rosenbaum, he came up to me and he said, you fuckers are shitty, and I'm going to kill the shit out of you.

01:15:33.000 I'm going to kill the shit out of you?

01:15:35.000 I'm going to.

01:15:36.000 Yeah.

01:15:36.000 And that's when I had to draw my weapon, and I have it here.

01:15:42.000 That's a balloon.

01:15:48.000 No.

01:15:48.000 Yep.

01:15:49.000 Warm, warm, warm, warm, warm.

01:15:51.000 Yep.

01:15:52.000 Oops.

01:15:56.000 Oh, you went Asian for a second.

01:15:58.000 Yeah, I was that scared where I kind of just was bearing the brunt of it.

01:16:03.000 And so here's.

01:16:07.000 I'm sorry.

01:16:08.000 Bring it back.

01:16:10.000 Sorry.

01:16:11.000 And that's when he came to me with the flaming dumpster, and I just dumped the pumps into him until the good Lord split them.

01:16:17.000 And that's that.

01:16:18.000 Thank you.

01:16:19.000 Yeah, I don't feel like going through.

01:16:20.000 Thank you, Carl.

01:16:21.000 I don't feel like going through this.

01:16:23.000 It feels redundant.

01:16:24.000 Like, Norm McDonald died.

01:16:25.000 You know he died.

01:16:26.000 Why am I telling you this?

01:16:28.000 Yes, he did.

01:16:29.000 Biden said, oh, this was a big one, though.

01:16:31.000 I don't want people to forget.

01:16:32.000 Biden said, this isn't going to be like Saigon.

01:16:34.000 We're going to get people out.

01:16:36.000 They're going to be good.

01:16:37.000 Don't worry about it.

01:16:40.000 And then it was exactly, exactly like Saigon.

01:16:47.000 Pull up that pic?

01:16:49.000 Kyle?

01:16:51.000 Yeah.

01:16:52.000 This is to me, I think Waukesha is very underreported, but this, too, is one of the biggest events of 2021.

01:17:02.000 It perfectly summarizes the lies that we are subjected to by this fucking incompetent Mr. Magoo of a president.

01:17:12.000 He said specifically this is not going to be like that.

01:17:16.000 So he promised us the picture on the left was not going to be duplicated.

01:17:21.000 And it was exactly duplicated.

01:17:24.000 Exactly.

01:17:25.000 It's not even a good picture on the left.

01:17:27.000 They have one with the same CH.

01:17:28.000 The other one on the right side is the CH-47.

01:17:31.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:17:32.000 There was that double.

01:17:34.000 Double rotor.

01:17:36.000 I was going to say, it's not the same because these helicopters have two blades.

01:17:40.000 They go to 11.

01:17:42.000 Well, Saigon had plenty of two bladers.

01:17:44.000 What are they called?

01:17:45.000 That's a CH-47, a ship.

01:17:47.000 CH-47s.

01:17:48.000 Troop Transport.

01:17:50.000 Those are the taxi cabs that deliver the good guy, bad guys.

01:17:55.000 Oh, of course, huge story that I would never want to sweep under the rug Is, what's his name, the Polish guy, Paul Potlowski, getting arrested on the fucking highway.

01:18:07.000 What's his name?

01:18:07.000 Arthur Polowski.

01:18:09.000 Arthur Polowski.

01:18:11.000 Canadian pastor who screamed at Nazi cops.

01:18:14.000 This guy's sin was continuing to have church services.

01:18:20.000 By the way, plenty of demonstrations against, you know, trans viol, violence against trans people, Black Lives Matter.

01:18:29.000 That was all fine.

01:18:31.000 If you went to church, you were fucked.

01:18:33.000 Arthur recognized that hypocrisy over in Calgary, and he refused to adhere to it, and he continued his church services, fucking arrested.

01:18:45.000 Did you see that thing I sent you the other day about Trudeau's bodyguards beating up the...

01:18:50.000 Oh, yeah, David Menzies, yeah.

01:18:52.000 That was just on Tucker.

01:18:55.000 It's similar, but it's not the exact same story.

01:18:57.000 But rebel media, you know, they've been generating income for a long time now.

01:19:02.000 They're ready to buy a building.

01:19:04.000 They have to buy a building.

01:19:04.000 They could get evicted at any moment.

01:19:06.000 So they want to get a mortgage.

01:19:08.000 The bank says yes.

01:19:11.000 The main guys, the guys that are at the branch, yeah, sounds good.

01:19:14.000 You're making X amount of money.

01:19:16.000 Mortgage is this much.

01:19:17.000 Sounds like a good investment.

01:19:18.000 It's three floors.

01:19:19.000 The bottom two floors are rented out.

01:19:21.000 We're good.

01:19:23.000 And then they get a call from the top brass and they say, no.

01:19:29.000 No, don't give him the mortgage.

01:19:31.000 Now, the reason they're beating up David Menzes there is because Justin Trudeau hates rebel news because they always insult him.

01:19:39.000 And Canada is not unlike fucking Pinochet days where you can beat up the media for insulting you.

01:19:45.000 That's how shallow Justin Trudeau is.

01:19:47.000 He's obsessed with the way he's portrayed in the media, which is why he spent something like $800 million supporting small media companies, which is really just fucking bribing journalists.

01:20:00.000 And Royal Bank, who does these mortgages, they have a revolving door with the Liberal Party.

01:20:09.000 So if you meet a CEO at Royal Bank, he probably worked under Justin Trudeau or the previous Liberal Party member.

01:20:16.000 So it's fucking, it's Sicily.

01:20:19.000 It's Palermo over there.

01:20:20.000 And when David showed up, they kicked his ass.

01:20:24.000 They smashed his face against a wood fence.

01:20:27.000 Yeah.

01:20:28.000 Roughed him up a little bit.

01:20:29.000 Yeah.

01:20:30.000 Give some bloody knuckles.

01:20:32.000 And when Ezra tried to get a mortgage, they shut him down.

01:20:35.000 And you know what's, Ezra couldn't have been better on that clip on Tucker, by the way.

01:20:39.000 I don't think that's very funny.

01:20:41.000 I'm on your side, Ezra.

01:20:42.000 Well, you were laughing at that.

01:20:44.000 And I, personally, I was laughing at the absurdity of your reporters getting attacked.

01:20:50.000 It's clown world thing.

01:20:52.000 I'm taking the clown pill.

01:20:53.000 I'm not saying it was good or ha ha ha.

01:20:55.000 David got his ass kicked.

01:20:57.000 I misunderstood, but it really is sick and twisted what's happening out there.

01:21:02.000 David Menzies, one of the greatest reporters that we have for Rebel, he went out there.

01:21:07.000 Probably your oldest as far as with you the longest.

01:21:10.000 And look what's great about him, he catches your eye.

01:21:14.000 He doesn't look like an average guy.

01:21:16.000 And when he goes out there, you can pick him out of a crowd.

01:21:19.000 And that's why Trudeau went out and they attacked him.

01:21:22.000 Because he looks cool.

01:21:24.000 That's a bad theory, but okay.

01:21:26.000 Well, he's my guy, so I can make up these things.

01:21:28.000 Okay.

01:21:32.000 Blacks began randomly attacking Asians for no reason.

01:21:35.000 Derek Chauvin was found guilty for being near a black guy.

01:21:40.000 Oh, here's one that no one remembers.

01:21:43.000 Ahmed Al-Aliwi Alisa.

01:21:47.000 Does that name ring any bells?

01:21:49.000 No.

01:21:50.000 I forgot this too, I will concede.

01:21:53.000 But he got spooked by all this talk of how racist America is.

01:21:56.000 So he went and shot up a grocery store in Denver, a Muslim leftist.

01:22:01.000 That's right.

01:22:02.000 Remember this?

01:22:03.000 Whoa.

01:22:04.000 Barely.

01:22:05.000 Erased.

01:22:06.000 See, that's the funny thing, too, about this shit is they erase it from our own brains.

01:22:11.000 Like, I guarantee you, when we do the year in summary of 2022, we won't be talking about Waukesha.

01:22:20.000 We will have forgotten it.

01:22:22.000 Because these people are effective at erasing our own memories.

01:22:26.000 This guy was brainwashed by liberal media.

01:22:29.000 He was a radical Muslim, and he shot up a grocery store.

01:22:32.000 I forget how many people he killed.

01:22:34.000 Does it say it at the top?

01:22:37.000 I mean, that's what the problem is.

01:22:39.000 Killing 10 fucking people.

01:22:43.000 That's the problem with too much information.

01:22:47.000 I mean, everything is 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a day.

01:22:51.000 Yes, but also look at the way they gauge it.

01:22:54.000 Insurrection, how many hundreds of hours have we heard about that shit?

01:22:58.000 Right.

01:22:59.000 Or even COVID.

01:23:01.000 Drop those stories.

01:23:02.000 Let's hear.

01:23:02.000 You want to talk about mass murder?

01:23:04.000 You want to talk about danger?

01:23:05.000 How about radical Islamists brainwashed by liberals?

01:23:09.000 That just got 10 people killed.

01:23:10.000 And the Waukesha guy, too, he was brainwashed by liberals.

01:23:14.000 He thought white people, both of those guys thought that white people were out to get them.

01:23:19.000 White people were going to ruin America.

01:23:20.000 White people were killing people.

01:23:22.000 And they wanted to fight back.

01:23:24.000 In a bizarre way, it's noble.

01:23:27.000 They're martyrs, I guess.

01:23:28.000 Yeah, they had been brainwashed by these assholes, and they go, I want to do something.

01:23:32.000 I want to make a change.

01:23:34.000 They're out there on the front line.

01:23:35.000 Yeah.

01:23:38.000 All right, we got to check in with Pete Best.

01:23:40.000 And we also are getting close to the moment.

01:23:44.000 Eight minutes.

01:23:46.000 Right.

01:23:46.000 Is it eight?

01:23:47.000 I got five on my watch.

01:23:49.000 11.52.

01:23:50.000 Seven minutes too.

01:23:52.000 Should we do one more clip?

01:23:55.000 Okay, let's do a greatest hits clip.

01:23:56.000 I'm going to get a drink.

01:24:11.000 Seems like the pussy lasts a lot more than the pussy lips guy.

01:24:17.000 What's he got there?

01:24:19.000 Oh, I thought he was drinking beer.

01:24:21.000 That's San Pellegrino.

01:24:26.000 This movie's like Deadpool before Deadpool, man.

01:24:28.000 I know, alright.

01:24:29.000 Breaking the fourth wall.

01:24:31.000 There's finally a comment.

01:24:37.000 That's a highlight to me.

01:24:42.000 Did you rese I asked you to spend this week researching highlights.

01:24:46.000 I think you didn't do that.

01:24:49.000 Well that one I did I didn't You're just randomly dropping the needle not even on the past year, but just into the archives.

01:25:01.000 I'm sorry My New Year's resolution is to own up to when I make mistakes.

01:25:07.000 You know what my New Year's resolution is for you?

01:25:10.000 More work.

01:25:13.000 Say goodbye to the fucking five-hour shifts, my friend.

01:25:19.000 Time for the Industrial Revolution.

01:25:26.000 I get nervous about driving drunk on New Year's Eve, but then I get a little liquid courage, and everything is okay.

01:25:35.000 The more you drink, the more safer it feels.

01:25:37.000 The braver you get.

01:25:38.000 Be brave.

01:25:39.000 The less worried you get about drunk driving.

01:25:41.000 Never stop drinking.

01:25:43.000 Let's check in on Pete and Miley.

01:25:45.000 Okay.

01:25:46.000 What are they up to?

01:25:47.000 Probably some cool, famous guy doing a song.

01:25:51.000 We got a merch.

01:25:55.000 I bet it's fucking woke.

01:25:57.000 Black guy.

01:26:01.000 I've never watched that show, but I bet it's stultifyingly woke.

01:26:05.000 The old new dog trail.

01:26:07.000 Okay, just cars.

01:26:09.000 Fine.

01:26:09.000 Look at that.

01:26:10.000 Nothing woke about that.

01:26:11.000 It's just cars.

01:26:12.000 I mean, the car shapes are kind of overly protective, so that's kind of woke, but it's a new year.

01:26:18.000 Okay, a white family.

01:26:20.000 What the fuck?

01:26:21.000 Always underestimated.

01:26:22.000 Oh, no.

01:26:26.000 I don't mind if there's a black guy in a thing about America.

01:26:28.000 They're part of America.

01:26:29.000 This is okay so far.

01:26:44.000 Of course, the nurse is fucking black.

01:26:46.000 Doesn't it really feel like we're in one of those post-apocalyptic movies where on every channel it's like, get the shit?

01:26:51.000 Fuck black woman driving.

01:26:56.000 He's in trouble.

01:26:58.000 I need a black woman to come save me as they're wont to do.

01:27:01.000 Especially in Alaska.

01:27:04.000 No problem.

01:27:05.000 I'm here.

01:27:08.000 Ah, thanks, black woman.

01:27:12.000 Unreal.

01:27:13.000 Are these commercials...

01:27:14.000 Of course she's driving to.

01:27:15.000 Are commercials made by the KKK?

01:27:18.000 Like, it's such an obvious parody of reality.

01:27:24.000 And I know there's not a lot of guys hanging off the cliff, but if you were hanging off a cliff, what are the odds a black woman is going to come up and snatch you up in the last second?

01:27:33.000 Boy, Kia really spent a fucking time.

01:27:42.000 Pete Davidson has never said anything funny ever.

01:27:45.000 He's like the whoopee Goldberg of comedy.

01:27:50.000 All right, well, that's fun looking back on 2021, but I think we can all agree it was a weird year, right?

01:27:58.000 So you know what we could do is recap another year, like 2009.

01:28:02.000 I think that's what we were doing.

01:28:04.000 2009 was so dope.

01:28:06.000 We didn't have anything to worry about at all.

01:28:08.000 In 2009, the real Captain Phillips happened, and Sully landed in the Hudson.

01:28:14.000 It was a great year for guys who'd later be played by Tom Hanks, but a bad year for pirates and geese.

01:28:23.000 And we didn't even know how good we had it.

01:28:26.000 You know, we were too busy complaining about the black-eyed peas and al-Qaeda in that order.

01:28:32.000 Obama was president, and Chet Hanks was still Chester, right?

01:28:37.000 And that crazy movie, The Orphan, came out.

01:28:40.000 Do you see Joe Rogan talking about Michelle Obama and how awesome she is and how she did a great job?

01:28:46.000 He kept saying articulate, too.

01:28:48.000 No one ever describes whites as articulate.

01:28:52.000 Yeah.

01:28:52.000 And he said both about Michelle and Barack, they were so articulate.

01:28:57.000 When have I ever said, like, people don't describe Christopher Hitchens as articulate.

01:29:02.000 They say eloquent, maybe, but that word is specifically reserved for well-behaved Negroes.

01:29:08.000 I'm going to go down and hang out with you guys for a little bit.

01:29:12.000 All right, be funny.

01:29:25.000 Wait, we got two minutes.

01:29:26.000 There's no time for all this.

01:29:28.000 Yeah, there is.

01:29:29.000 I'm having a great time.

01:29:30.000 Thank you.

01:29:31.000 What are you saying?

01:29:31.000 Excuse me.

01:29:32.000 Two minutes.

01:29:33.000 You're here in the middle.

01:29:33.000 I'm scared.

01:29:34.000 You don't have to be on your phone.

01:29:35.000 Don't be scared.

01:29:35.000 Do I get a hat, a blower?

01:29:37.000 What's your name?

01:29:37.000 Yeah, get a hat.

01:29:39.000 Chips.

01:29:41.000 Everybody say hello, chips.

01:29:44.000 Okay, we're gonna dress chips up very quickly.

01:29:46.000 That's a real 90s Polish slut.

01:29:48.000 Okay.

01:29:49.000 And here's a little tiara.

01:29:52.000 This was broke.

01:29:53.000 I got blowers here.

01:29:54.000 Sorry, I was hugging the blowers.

01:29:55.000 Let me get one.

01:29:56.000 This was broke.

01:29:57.000 Yeah.

01:29:58.000 Okay.

01:29:58.000 We got a little tiara for you.

01:30:01.000 And yeah, we had this problem with ours.

01:30:03.000 Who is your favorite family member?

01:30:05.000 24K Golden.

01:30:06.000 24K Golden is a family member.

01:30:10.000 Oh, there was two in mine.

01:30:15.000 Great way to spread COVID.

01:30:17.000 You know, hey, everybody, by the way, I would always like to get serious for a moment.

01:30:20.000 Shit, there's like a day for a lot of people.

01:30:22.000 I had about eight.

01:30:23.000 Make sure there isn't two in here.

01:30:25.000 Please raise your glass.

01:30:26.000 Adam or Jesus.

01:30:27.000 Get him a lot.

01:30:40.000 Oh, I made it to a minute.

01:30:41.000 Okay.

01:30:42.000 This is it, guys.

01:30:43.000 What's the song you want to bring us into the new year?

01:30:48.000 How about that little Nas Ek song?

01:30:50.000 Okay.

01:30:51.000 No, let's do a good song.

01:30:53.000 Let's do Louie Louis.

01:30:55.000 Louie Louie?

01:30:56.000 Yeah.

01:30:57.000 The one that's the Kingsman.

01:30:58.000 Oh, the Kingsman.

01:30:59.000 Okay.

01:31:00.000 No, not the theme track.

01:31:02.000 Oh, we're really getting down to the wire here, boys.

01:31:06.000 Yes.

01:31:07.000 I taught Pete how to count today.

01:31:09.000 Yes, that's not how to count today.

01:31:11.000 He's a really quick learner.

01:31:12.000 I'm a quick learner.

01:31:14.000 So we got 25 seconds until we jump into 2022.

01:31:17.000 Are you guys excited?

01:31:19.000 Yeah!

01:31:20.000 Should we start from 17 like Frau in Austin Powers?

01:31:25.000 Let's fuck it up.

01:31:26.000 It's 10 seconds away.

01:31:28.000 All right, you guys ready?

01:31:29.000 10.

01:32:02.000 Let's all get into the shot.

01:32:03.000 I want a Maddie sick.

01:32:07.000 So what?

01:32:08.000 If we all get into the shot, but Maddie's sick.

01:32:12.000 But if you just stay off a little bit, we'll socially distance at the main desk.

01:32:18.000 No, come over here, Maddie.

01:32:20.000 You can affect it, though.

01:32:34.000 From Ryan and Maddie and me to you, the Censored.tv subscriber, may you have a wonderful 2022.

01:32:44.000 We're going to get through this together.

01:32:46.000 We are living in a clown world and the only way to get through it is to laugh.

01:32:52.000 Let's have some fun laughing at these fucking retards.

01:32:57.000 We like you more than a friend.

01:32:59.000 Cheers.

01:33:19.000 I mean, she is talented.

01:33:21.000 Like, that song is a catchy song.

01:33:23.000 And then you have fucking Pete.

01:33:25.000 This is gay.

01:33:26.000 Walking around going, this is so stupid.

01:33:28.000 Hey, yeah, whatever.

01:33:31.000 He has the demeanor of a 13-year-old boy.

01:33:35.000 Where everything is so fucking stupid.

01:33:45.000 What are you looking at?

01:33:46.000 Yeah, there's no cold beers.

01:33:50.000 Not bud.

01:34:02.000 Top shelf.

01:34:19.000 Did you know that you're not fair?

01:34:23.000 That was a thing when my kid was like six.

01:34:25.000 He used to say that all the time.

01:34:26.000 He'd walk in the room and go, did you know that you're not fair?

01:34:31.000 Did you know that Louie Louie was investigated by the government for being an offensive song?

01:34:40.000 And they went through the lyrics and decided they are unintelligible at any speed and you're free to go.

01:34:47.000 Are you kidding me?

01:34:49.000 Was that the Einstein dude?

01:34:51.000 Who did that?

01:34:53.000 Who the hell said that?

01:34:56.000 I think you're dead, dude.

01:34:57.000 Yeah, I'm dead.

01:34:59.000 You brought me back for this?

01:35:01.000 What the hell is this?

01:35:03.000 I gotta say, no offense, but you're kind of known as like Norm McDonald levels of superhero genius of comedy.

01:35:11.000 Yeah.

01:35:12.000 Super Dave Osborne was like an okay SNL sketch.

01:35:16.000 What the hell?

01:35:17.000 I'm not sure like you're a legend for that.

01:35:21.000 Are you it was a funny bit on a Canadian sketch show where you'd shoot out of a cannon and then you'd land and you'd like be crumpled up.

01:35:30.000 Like, you know, oh no, Mr. Bill kind of thing.

01:35:34.000 Are you kidding me?

01:35:35.000 I thought it was funny, but like legend?

01:35:37.000 Do you know what you just said?

01:35:40.000 Yeah.

01:35:41.000 I'm not impressed.

01:35:42.000 Oh, I can't be a part of this.

01:35:45.000 I'm Super Dave.

01:35:46.000 Am I missing something?

01:35:47.000 Did you have like some movie or some stand-up or something?

01:35:50.000 I don't know.

01:35:50.000 I'll tell you.

01:35:51.000 I'm Super Dave from that one episode of Norm McDonald's show where they read the jokes and I'm outraged.

01:35:58.000 Yeah.

01:35:59.000 I mean, you were on...

01:36:01.000 Well, I grew up in Canada.

01:36:02.000 I saw you.

01:36:03.000 You were on the Bazaar, it was called, with John Viner.

01:36:07.000 And you were Super Dave Osborne.

01:36:09.000 It was a very amusing little funny bit.

01:36:11.000 Actually, ironically, about as amusing as that.

01:36:14.000 So, like, kind of cool.

01:36:15.000 Are you kidding me?

01:36:17.000 A guy doing a special effect.

01:36:19.000 It was about that level.

01:36:21.000 Did you ever watch a candy legend?

01:36:23.000 What?

01:36:24.000 Did you ever watch a candy legend?

01:36:25.000 I went to school with those kids.

01:36:27.000 That was an Ottawa show.

01:36:29.000 They invented sliming.

01:36:31.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:36:32.000 What did you have to say, what?

01:36:34.000 And you would get slimed or something?

01:36:35.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:36:38.000 They got paid like lunch for that.

01:36:40.000 The last one was on it.

01:36:42.000 Some gold related chains would make a nice retirement gift for a very, very good slave.

01:36:52.000 Are you serious?

01:36:53.000 Brothers is written.

01:36:54.000 That's my whole impression.

01:36:57.000 Did you just write that?

01:36:58.000 I didn't write it.

01:36:58.000 Did you just say that?

01:37:00.000 No, I read it.

01:37:01.000 Yes.

01:37:02.000 You read that?

01:37:05.000 There's an old, dude.

01:37:06.000 Isn't that nice?

01:37:07.000 You know, when I look back now at Norm McDonald, he does seem a little turgid.

01:37:12.000 Oh, yeah, that's when his pain medication was making him gain weight in the face.

01:37:16.000 Kind of like Johnny Rotten.

01:37:18.000 Oh, my.

01:37:19.000 Yes.

01:37:19.000 Like, you see John Lydon now, and you're like, I know we all get fatter with age and stuff, but you look like a balloon.

01:37:26.000 Does he have, is he taking cancer meds?

01:37:28.000 He doesn't have cancer.

01:37:29.000 I don't think so.

01:37:30.000 Some sort of like lipidol or something?

01:37:34.000 No, that's that's that's pre-balloon.

01:37:37.000 Yeah.

01:37:37.000 Yeah, he really looks like a fucking balloon.

01:37:41.000 Post-balloon, we gotta find.

01:37:42.000 Well, that's uh edema.

01:37:43.000 Swelling.

01:37:44.000 Teto retention.

01:37:45.000 Oh, my grandmother's calling.

01:37:47.000 Oh, I gotta wish her.

01:37:48.000 It's Mama!

01:37:51.000 You're on the show.

01:37:53.000 I am?

01:37:54.000 Yes.

01:37:55.000 What show is that?

01:37:57.000 The show I work on.

01:37:59.000 Wait a minute.

01:38:00.000 I'm in the show I work on.

01:38:01.000 What the heck is going on?

01:38:03.000 We're live.

01:38:06.000 We're live on censored.tv.

01:38:09.000 My job.

01:38:10.000 And happy new year.

01:38:12.000 Happy New Year, Mariah.

01:38:14.000 So happy new year, mommy.

01:38:15.000 Happy New Year.

01:38:16.000 Happy New Year, Nana.

01:38:19.000 Where is he?

01:38:21.000 Well, I'm over here.

01:38:22.000 I'm in the phone.

01:38:24.000 Yeah.

01:38:25.000 I'll see you guys soon.

01:38:28.000 I'll see you guys soon.

01:38:29.000 I'll come visit soon.

01:38:30.000 Okay, I'll let you go now, okay?

01:38:32.000 Just with the new one.

01:38:33.000 Mina, Mira.

01:38:35.000 A very blessed new year.

01:38:37.000 Okay, I love you, Mama.

01:38:39.000 Wait, can you say one thing?

01:38:40.000 Should have got a minivan.

01:38:42.000 Can you say should have got a minivan?

01:38:45.000 You should have gotten a minivan.

01:38:48.000 Okay, thank you.

01:38:50.000 That's just the thing that we have.

01:38:51.000 Whopping.

01:38:51.000 She goes.

01:38:53.000 All right, I love you guys.

01:38:55.000 Give everybody a hug for me.

01:38:57.000 I will.

01:38:58.000 All right.

01:38:59.000 God bless you, guys.

01:38:59.000 God bless you.

01:39:00.000 It's actually pronounced Shuga Biba.

01:39:03.000 Yeah, she doesn't know that.

01:39:04.000 She lost the flavors of the old world.

01:39:08.000 You know, watching that terrible New Year's Eve special reminded me of that worst New Year's Eve special of all time, which was the redhead dude who did the mask after Jim Carrey.

01:39:20.000 Jamie Kennedy.

01:39:21.000 Jamie Kennedy's New Year's Eve thing where he got fucking ratioed for the show.

01:39:28.000 And then he was like, you know what, actually?

01:39:33.000 You just got me more fans.

01:39:34.000 And next year's going to be even bigger, which we're at next year now, and it didn't happen.

01:39:40.000 I kind of really like...

01:39:42.000 Next year, sorry.

01:39:43.000 I kind of really like Jamie Kennedy these days.

01:39:46.000 He's actually not woke.

01:39:47.000 He's like, rides the line of saying things that are too bass.

01:39:51.000 He's like a Rob Schneider nigga.

01:39:53.000 A little less.

01:39:55.000 But he was always so bad in everything he did.

01:39:59.000 This sucked.

01:40:00.000 I mean, the Jamie Kennedy experiment was okay, but the Son of the Mask killed him for a lot of people.

01:40:05.000 But I've come to like him in his days.

01:40:08.000 No, it's sort of like Jack Murphy and his overreaction to Sidney's question.

01:40:12.000 Jamie Kennedy got bad reviews for the mask, and he did a whole documentary about talking to the people that didn't like it.

01:40:18.000 Drop it, dude.

01:40:20.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, Heckler.

01:40:24.000 There was a fight that broke up.

01:40:25.000 It broke out.

01:40:26.000 Thanks for spending here with us.

01:40:28.000 Tell everybody what is going to happen in 2013 with you.

01:40:31.000 Oh, I'm so excited 2013's here.

01:40:34.000 Jalapeno Turkey.

01:40:36.000 Oh, that's exactly as aired.

01:40:37.000 Yeah, where's the fight?

01:40:38.000 I think it's a really good thing.

01:40:39.000 It's good.

01:40:39.000 Jalapeno Turkey.

01:40:40.000 We want to thank everyone who came out.

01:40:42.000 DTK, Macy Gray, Bulldozing Harvard community.

01:40:46.000 Shannon Elizabeth, Bridget, Mark Orton.

01:40:48.000 Oh, there's the fight?

01:40:50.000 It's getting crazy here.

01:40:52.000 We also want to thank Carls Jr.

01:40:54.000 I feel like I know that midget.

01:40:57.000 Yeah, he's 2024.

01:40:59.000 Good night.

01:41:00.000 They used to rap together and stuff like that.

01:41:02.000 It's ending with a fight.

01:41:03.000 It's ending with a fight.

01:41:06.000 You know what it is?

01:41:07.000 I just made up this theory right now.

01:41:09.000 LA people aren't used to being drunk.

01:41:12.000 So when they get a buzz, they start freaking the fuck out.

01:41:16.000 Stu Stone.

01:41:17.000 That's his name, yeah.

01:41:19.000 Yeah, California people, man.

01:41:21.000 It's weird.

01:41:23.000 Because they have to drive.

01:41:25.000 So where we will go to the bar every day and have like four or five drinks and then go home, they're like, oh, it's four or five drinks night.

01:41:34.000 I'm going to fucking get shithammered and get in big trouble.

01:41:38.000 And then everything closes early and then you go to like house parties and shit.

01:41:42.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:41:43.000 I wonder what's going on with house parties in Montreal right now.

01:41:48.000 Maybe we should try one.

01:41:50.000 Hey.

01:41:55.000 Maybe it is the goddess.

01:41:58.000 Okay, I'm gonna call a guy in Montreal.

01:42:30.000 Jar CMP's cracking down on everybody.

01:42:38.000 This is embarrassing.

01:42:39.000 That's okay.

01:42:39.000 In the meantime, we have a clip.

01:42:41.000 You have reached.

01:42:46.000 The music.

01:42:48.000 I don't like hitting the heavy bag to the beat.

01:42:53.000 That's embarrassing.

01:42:54.000 But even when you're lifting weights and it's like, I'm a motherfucking beast.

01:42:58.000 Yes, that feels queer.

01:42:59.000 It is.

01:43:00.000 Or you know when you're just walking and there's music and that's gay, like Benny Banassi or something, but you're just shopping, you have no control of the music and it's like, and you're walking to the beat.

01:43:09.000 So then you force yourself to not walk to the beat?

01:43:12.000 No.

01:43:13.000 But walking's gay too.

01:43:17.000 That was a great example of you not getting what we're talking about.

01:43:21.000 Walking is gay too.

01:43:23.000 You're allowed to enjoy a song at the grocery store.

01:43:26.000 No.

01:43:27.000 It's when you're at the gym and you're going bump, bump, bum, bump.

01:43:31.000 That's embarrassing.

01:43:31.000 Okay, but that, as well as like if there's a gay song playing and you're walking to the beat, you feel gay.

01:43:36.000 That's all I'm saying.

01:43:38.000 I keep saying that's totally different.

01:43:39.000 My face looks blurry and I go, my name is blurry.

01:43:43.000 I care what you think.

01:43:45.000 Just completely under the radar.

01:43:47.000 Oh my God.

01:43:48.000 Hey, did you see that little clip I sent to you on, I guess, Instagram or something with the American Eagle?

01:43:56.000 The bald eagle.

01:43:58.000 And by the way.

01:43:58.000 With the arms.

01:43:59.000 Pet peeve about my wife here, guys.

01:44:01.000 I mean, you know how women could be.

01:44:04.000 We laugh really hard at that Maddie thing.

01:44:06.000 It's not how you wear a hat, by the way.

01:44:10.000 We laugh so.

01:44:11.000 It's at Yamaka cone.

01:44:12.000 At Yamakone.

01:44:14.000 I'm good for those.

01:44:16.000 Gotta admit.

01:44:17.000 Oh, yeah, I do have it.

01:44:19.000 We laughed our balls off at the Maddie thing, and then I bring it up at the Christmas party, and she's like, it really wasn't that funny.

01:44:26.000 And I was like, divorce her.

01:44:28.000 We literally looked at each other and we said, this is hilarious.

01:44:30.000 This is so funny.

01:44:31.000 And we rewound it.

01:44:32.000 You should leave her.

01:44:33.000 She takes back all the fun moments we have as if they weren't.

01:44:36.000 No, you should do divorce her, leave her, declare bankruptcy so she can't get child support and just move to Hawaii.

01:44:44.000 Oh, if you claim bankruptcy, you don't.

01:44:46.000 Yeah.

01:44:46.000 No.

01:44:47.000 It never goes away.

01:44:48.000 Oh, really?

01:44:49.000 Never.

01:44:50.000 Shit.

01:44:51.000 All right.

01:44:51.000 Well, I guess.

01:44:52.000 You can't declare bankruptcy and just go, I don't have any money for you?

01:44:55.000 Do they just equip it?

01:44:56.000 Put you in jail?

01:44:58.000 Oh, really?

01:44:58.000 Yeah.

01:44:59.000 I used to come home from prison and owed like $20 something thousand dollars.

01:45:02.000 Holy shit.

01:45:03.000 They suspended my license and I'm like.

01:45:05.000 How about some Mises?

01:45:06.000 How the fuck was I supposed to pay?

01:45:07.000 I was in fucking prison.

01:45:07.000 How about some Maddie support Pete Sigs?

01:45:13.000 This is fucking hilarious.

01:45:22.000 How did they do that?

01:45:24.000 It gets better.

01:46:34.000 Fucking shit.

01:46:37.000 Sportsmanship.

01:46:45.000 The bird, which is the bald eagle.

01:46:48.000 That guy is funnier than me.

01:46:51.000 Hey, I was at a bar the other day, believe it or not.

01:46:55.000 I'm watching TV.

01:46:57.000 Guess who's on the fucking screen?

01:46:59.000 Ben Trump.

01:47:01.000 Oh, no.

01:47:03.000 So this is fucking nuts.

01:47:06.000 There's some lunatic bludgeoning woman in a Walmart, TJ Max Maxwell's?

01:47:14.000 I don't know.

01:47:15.000 One of these stores.

01:47:16.000 With a bike lock.

01:47:17.000 Smashing him in the head.

01:47:18.000 Murdering them.

01:47:20.000 So cops show up and they're like, stop, stop.

01:47:23.000 He's like, fuck you.

01:47:24.000 I'll kill you all.

01:47:25.000 They shoot him, which I guess was stupid in a store.

01:47:29.000 A bullet ricochets off the ground, goes into the dressing room and kills some random chick who is visiting from like Chile.

01:47:41.000 Right?

01:47:42.000 Valentina Orlina Peralta.

01:47:47.000 So Ben Crump's point is yet another case of racism from the cops.

01:47:54.000 Because they were like, while we attack this guy, I do want to shoot a spic who's changing.

01:48:02.000 So I'm going to ricochet off the ground like blazing saddles and kill this fucking bitch.

01:48:07.000 This 14-year-old tourist bitch.

01:48:09.000 Go back to the video, though.

01:48:11.000 Are they going with that?

01:48:12.000 Because that...

01:48:13.000 No, no, the first thing you showed.

01:48:15.000 I think that was just automatically playing, no?

01:48:20.000 Yeah, no, I thought there was a video going.

01:48:23.000 Racist cops fucking killed another girl through a wall.

01:48:27.000 They're so good at their racism.

01:48:29.000 They can just, like, seek them out.

01:48:32.000 Unbelievable.

01:48:33.000 He's 100.

01:48:35.000 I wonder if he knows that we have bald eagle tattoos just like he has a bald eagle lapel.

01:48:43.000 I wonder if he'd be honored by that.

01:48:47.000 I saw the island boy said the bird which is the bald eagle.

01:48:50.000 Oh boy, I gotta find those.

01:48:52.000 There's a couple.

01:48:53.000 Island boy, we got the bird that's a bald eagle.

01:48:58.000 I don't like my bald eagle tattoo.

01:49:00.000 What?

01:49:02.000 I should have left the shine on.

01:49:05.000 Oh, dude.

01:49:06.000 My bald eagle just looks like a bald eagle.

01:49:08.000 Oh, you're talking about the shine on his head.

01:49:10.000 Yeah.

01:49:10.000 I thought you're talking about Ben Crumb.

01:49:12.000 And then I was like, I know, I'll add skin color on his bald head.

01:49:15.000 I'm like, wait a minute, I am skin color.

01:49:18.000 How do you add skin color to skin color?

01:49:22.000 The bird which is about ego.

01:49:29.000 Like a birdie, birdie, birdie.

01:49:33.000 You be watching, watching.

01:49:35.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:49:38.000 Wow.

01:49:38.000 That's what happens when your dad doesn't exist and your mom says, whatever you want to do, I don't care.

01:49:46.000 Stay out all night.

01:49:47.000 It's sort of almost like Lord of the Flies.

01:49:50.000 Like, where are they from, though?

01:49:52.000 I'm going to say Florida.

01:49:54.000 I'm going to say they're Florida.

01:49:55.000 I'm going to say they're Puerto Rican.

01:49:57.000 The dad is not around.

01:49:58.000 And the mother had them when she was 16 and she doesn't give a fuck.

01:50:02.000 I mean, what made them fail?

01:50:03.000 Just saying that island boy.

01:50:05.000 They heard it in a song.

01:50:07.000 And they were like, I'm a Jamaican kind of.

01:50:10.000 And they just ran with it.

01:50:12.000 And no one is there to correct them.

01:50:13.000 And now they're picking fights all over the place.

01:50:16.000 I saw some podcast.

01:50:17.000 I think it was Jake Paul.

01:50:18.000 Yeah, they walked off.

01:50:19.000 And they're like, yo, what the fuck?

01:50:21.000 You don't think we're island boys?

01:50:23.000 Yeah, Maddie showed that to us.

01:50:24.000 No, the guy said, you know, if worst comes to worst, he could, like, you could take all your jewelry that you have now, sell it, and invest it, and you'll never be broke again.

01:50:35.000 Ever.

01:50:37.000 That's a good point.

01:50:38.000 They were like, what?

01:50:39.000 Fuck you.

01:50:40.000 Yeah, they were like, broke.

01:50:43.000 How dare you?

01:50:44.000 Yeah, the Island Balls aren't going to go too far.

01:50:46.000 Did you see the Proud Boys?

01:50:47.000 From what I understand, they're just blowing money left and right.

01:50:52.000 What'd you say, David Show?

01:50:54.000 There's a Proud Boys one, too, where they did, I'm looking for it right now.

01:50:58.000 It was Island Boys, Proud Boys.

01:51:00.000 I'm not sure.

01:51:01.000 Oh, it's Island Boy.

01:51:03.000 I got it.

01:51:05.000 Stand by.

01:51:10.000 This is really bothering me.

01:51:13.000 Why don't you just show you that little guy?

01:51:14.000 Where did I see a thing?

01:51:16.000 We're down in the last five minutes of the show, by the way.

01:51:19.000 Oh, wreck.

01:51:22.000 Let's go through in the last five minutes of the new 20.

01:51:25.000 It's 2022 now.

01:51:27.000 So what you're going to do was...

01:51:28.000 Isn't that weird?

01:51:28.000 When I was a kid, the craziest thing you could say is 2000.

01:51:33.000 Like a vacuum cleaner was called the XM2000.

01:51:38.000 That's why I use the name the Gavin 2000 on a lot of shit.

01:51:41.000 Because it was like, that's the future.

01:51:45.000 The vacuum 4X 2000.

01:51:48.000 It's basically what vacuum cleaners are going to be like in the year 2000.

01:51:55.000 And now, 2022?

01:51:58.000 I feel like a vampire.

01:52:00.000 I'm not supposed to be alive this long.

01:52:02.000 2022, we're going to run out of numbers soon.

01:52:06.000 50 years.

01:52:07.000 You're 52 years coming now.

01:52:10.000 Proud of your boy.

01:52:10.000 I'll make you proud of your boy.

01:52:12.000 Hey, I'm a hangtown boy.

01:52:14.000 Yeah, I'm proud of your boy.

01:52:19.000 I'm going to make you part of that boy.

01:52:21.000 Hey, I'm a hangtown boy.

01:52:23.000 Yeah, I'm a part of your boy.

01:52:25.000 Shout out to the hangtown proud boy.

01:52:28.000 We sold.

01:52:30.000 They're always fighting for who gets to end it.

01:52:34.000 This amazes me.

01:52:35.000 This is fucking weird.

01:52:36.000 They're retarded.

01:52:37.000 They've invented like a new culture.

01:52:40.000 You know, it's based on, I mean, I don't know if it was intentional, but never gonna give you up.

01:52:45.000 Never gonna let you down.

01:52:47.000 Never gonna.

01:52:48.000 Rick Ashley.

01:52:49.000 Yeah, Rick Ashley.

01:52:50.000 Are you sure?

01:52:51.000 It's not actually based on it, but that's probably why it's so catchy.

01:52:53.000 It's almost a similar game.

01:52:55.000 It's such a bizarre.

01:52:56.000 They took a part of a reggae song and made it their entire identity.

01:53:01.000 Yeah.

01:53:02.000 Wow.

01:53:03.000 Guys, down to the last four minutes.

01:53:05.000 Maddie, what are your plans for 2022?

01:53:09.000 2022.

01:53:10.000 For your family, what are your goals?

01:53:13.000 What do you hope happens?

01:53:14.000 What do you hope happens to America?

01:53:17.000 Well, I hope it comes to its senses.

01:53:20.000 And we go through the midterms, and all the Republicans and conservatives and right-of-center people come to their senses and go out and vote and get the right people back in to local offices,

01:53:37.000 state offices, and then we can worry about 2024 and then take the country back over and get out of this fucking bizarre land that we're in.

01:53:48.000 Takes a lot to shock me, but the shit that's going on is insane.

01:53:53.000 You know, people always say...

01:53:55.000 We would be in this predicament with shutdowns and lockdowns and the tyrannical overreach of this administration.

01:54:04.000 I'd be like, you're out of your mind.

01:54:06.000 This is America.

01:54:08.000 People say that you should stop thinking about the president and focus on municipal politics, but I think I do agree with that.

01:54:15.000 But also, we're near the midterms.

01:54:17.000 That in many ways is more important than the presidency.

01:54:21.000 And if we can take control of everything but the presidency in the midterms, I think we have a lot of hope for the future and the next election.

01:54:34.000 Right.

01:54:35.000 I hope that there's no serious opposition from within the GOP of who's going to be running.

01:54:46.000 Yeah, good point.

01:54:47.000 Candidates and everybody.

01:54:50.000 100%.

01:54:52.000 Full force.

01:54:53.000 It's got to be Ron DeSantis.

01:54:56.000 I don't even want Trump.

01:54:57.000 I want Ron DeSantis and a nondescript VP that we never heard of.

01:55:02.000 Is that just.

01:55:03.000 Yayo.

01:55:03.000 It's got to be.

01:55:04.000 Yeah.

01:55:05.000 He's not American.

01:55:06.000 Ron DeSantis and Yayo.

01:55:07.000 He's not American citizen.

01:55:08.000 Can't run.

01:55:11.000 He's Peruvian.

01:55:13.000 But I do feel like the tide is turning.

01:55:17.000 Like I saw a cartoon in the New York Post, which I know is relatively right-wing, but whatever.

01:55:24.000 And it was the New Year's Eve baby, the 2022 baby, pushing a wheelchair off a cliff.

01:55:33.000 And the wheelchair was, it said on the back, radical left.

01:55:37.000 And there was a donkey falling face first off the cliff.

01:55:42.000 And I can't explain why this felt so profound, but I felt like here we have the moderate right and the center rights saying, yeah, fuck these people.

01:55:54.000 You know, we're coming from an area where you had Don Lamont on CNN going, Antifa, anti-fascist.

01:56:03.000 It's in the name.

01:56:05.000 And that's the most mainstream leftist news source calling Antifa anti-fascist.

01:56:12.000 I feel like that's finally fucking dead.

01:56:15.000 And people are starting to go, not only do I not like the radical left at Antifa, but I don't trust the government with this COVID shit.

01:56:24.000 And I want my country back.

01:56:27.000 Not just in America, too.

01:56:29.000 In Australia, in Britain.

01:56:32.000 I really feel like, because we were always against this shit from day one, but I feel like the normal sort of moms and stuff who were like, go ahead, as long as it doesn't hurt me, they went, wait a minute, what's going on with CRT?

01:56:45.000 CRT was a big mom wake-up call.

01:56:48.000 And then post-CRT, they're getting politically aware and they're going, what else have you been doing?

01:56:53.000 There it is.

01:56:55.000 I don't know why.

01:56:57.000 The New York Post is not that right wing.

01:57:00.000 It's pretty centrist.

01:57:02.000 It's slightly right of center.

01:57:03.000 But seeing that in the New York Post made me think that the rest of us are on board with the rest of us.

01:57:14.000 What about you, Ryan?

01:57:15.000 We're out of time now.

01:57:16.000 End of the show.

01:57:19.000 Personally, I hope that we can all get to a place where the fuck unbelievable.

01:57:28.000 Okay, this better be good.

01:57:31.000 I like you more than a friend.

01:57:33.000 Okay, then we'll look that up.

01:57:36.000 What's up, Gavin and Prime Minister of the Fag Zone?

01:57:38.000 I found some important life hacks that you need to know.

01:57:42.000 Please watch at least one whole video.

01:57:43.000 They're pretty short.

01:57:44.000 Instagram reels from the same guy.

01:57:47.000 I bet I will fucking hate this.

01:57:55.000 What?

01:57:58.000 I didn't.

01:58:04.000 Well, here's to 2022 not that happening anymore.

01:58:10.000 How about in 2022 you do your job?

01:58:13.000 I will do that.

01:58:15.000 Or you could quit or get fired again.

01:58:17.000 Get in trouble?

01:58:18.000 You could.

01:58:19.000 Be good at it.

01:58:21.000 No, but seriously, 2022, we're done the show.

01:58:25.000 We're down to the end.

01:58:26.000 What's your goal?

01:58:27.000 What do you want to do?

01:58:29.000 How do you see it?

01:58:30.000 What's going on with your daughter?

01:58:32.000 Well, that's coming pretty naturally.

01:58:34.000 Change more diapers.

01:58:37.000 She'll only be one, I guess, at the end of the year.

01:58:40.000 Yes.

01:58:41.000 But I've just been enjoying just, you know, I leave my phone on the other side of the room.

01:58:46.000 I take her to the rocking chair on the times that I put her to sleep, and I just look at her face.

01:58:49.000 And so this is exciting.

01:58:51.000 In the next couple months, she's actually going to have a sense of humor.

01:58:54.000 That's down the road.

01:58:56.000 But in a couple of weeks, she's going to be able to laugh.

01:58:59.000 So that's going to be huge.

01:59:03.000 Have I laughed yet?

01:59:04.000 She smiles, but it's when she's pooping and when she's falling asleep.

01:59:08.000 But when she's falling asleep, it's a real smile.

01:59:10.000 Yeah, her smiles are like, I can't tell if it's sincere or not.

01:59:15.000 When she's falling asleep, she's definitely smiling.

01:59:17.000 But yeah, so that I'm looking forward to.

01:59:20.000 And then also, let's see, just getting bigger.

01:59:23.000 What about, do you feel, and I know that you're very sensitive, but the fact that she doesn't love you, does that hurt you or does that bother you?

01:59:29.000 Does that keep you up at night?

01:59:30.000 I expect, you know, at least for a partially Asian baby, that the feelings won't come until they're 136-ish.

01:59:37.000 Right.

01:59:37.000 If that.

01:59:38.000 At least that's when they come up with you.

01:59:39.000 That's fine with the fact that she does not love you.

01:59:41.000 I mean, I'm not familiar with the concept of love itself.

01:59:44.000 Oh, you're like a Klingon.

01:59:46.000 Like a robot.

01:59:48.000 So what age are you going to start the footbinding?

01:59:51.000 Oh, we've started.

01:59:52.000 Okay.

01:59:53.000 Yes.

01:59:54.000 You just put her in shoes.

01:59:55.000 I think the perfect woman has feet this big.

01:59:58.000 Yes.

01:59:58.000 The perfect woman has feet this big, is correct.

02:00:01.000 And they will fold under as they get.

02:00:06.000 So your dad's feet are.

02:00:07.000 Dude, every time I hear about Chinese footbinding, I think, that must have fucking killed.

02:00:12.000 Yeah.

02:00:13.000 Like a tattoo, pissing out gallstones, giving birth.

02:00:17.000 I'm sure those hurt a lot.

02:00:18.000 I've had one of them.

02:00:20.000 But like, you grow underneath your own foot?

02:00:26.000 What?

02:00:27.000 If you wear shoes that are half a, not even the perfect shoes for you, and you go on a hike, your feet are shredded.

02:00:36.000 Yeah.

02:00:37.000 You got blisters, all kinds of shit.

02:00:39.000 What about shoes that are this big?

02:00:42.000 What?

02:00:43.000 Anyway.

02:00:44.000 All right, folks, that's the end of the show.

02:00:46.000 Thank you for tuning in.

02:00:47.000 It was fun partying with you.

02:00:49.000 I'm pretty drunk.

02:00:51.000 I had to drive a kid's bus home.

02:00:53.000 Do you feel better, Maddie?

02:00:56.000 Since partying?

02:00:58.000 Yeah, I mean, good to be out of the house.

02:01:00.000 I feel like you sound better.

02:01:02.000 But it was great seeing Maddie.

02:01:04.000 Well, you know, still under the weather.

02:01:07.000 Get a little cure-all.

02:01:09.000 Oh, we missed you.

02:01:15.000 Thanks for Maddie to coming.

02:01:16.000 Thanks to Maddie for coming by.

02:01:20.000 Thanks to Ryan for banditing his family on their first New Year's Eve together.

02:01:24.000 And thanks to you guys for joining us on the celebration of, I'm going to argue, the craziest time in fucking history.

02:01:34.000 Yeah.

02:01:34.000 In my life.

02:01:41.000 So get fired.

02:01:42.000 Get in trouble.

02:01:43.000 Be brave.

02:01:44.000 And never stop fighting.

02:01:51.000 Oh, yeah.

02:01:54.000 Don't let the dog get your dog.

02:01:57.000 Tell them.

02:02:12.000 Come across as a bitch.

02:02:15.000 I'm in charge, Bendo.

02:02:21.000 Money.

02:02:21.000 So true.

02:02:22.000 You went into me.

02:02:25.000 Is there any reason I could give you that would answer that satisfactorily?

02:02:30.000 Aren't you about to be good at it, if you will?

02:02:36.000 That ain't no woman.

02:02:37.000 It's a man.

02:02:40.000 That's not your mother.

02:02:41.000 It's a man, baby.

02:02:43.000 If that is a woman, it does look like she was beaten with an ugly stick.

02:02:47.000 Ba-boo!

02:02:48.000 The bird witch is the bald eagle.

02:02:50.000 The bird witch is the bald eagle.

02:02:52.000 The bird witch is the bald eagle.

02:02:55.000 It sounds cool when you say the bird witch is the bald eagle.

02:02:59.000 The bird witch is the bald eagle.

02:03:02.000 The bird witch is the bald eagle.

02:03:05.000 I've had the privilege of growing up in a tradition that didn't believe in the myths and the legends because we had to be the brotherhood.

02:03:10.000 700 million and a trillion three hundred million billion dollars are in fact demented.

02:03:33.000 Don't trust China.

02:03:34.000 China is at home.

02:03:35.000 There's not gonna be a President Donald Trump.

02:03:38.000 Come on now.

02:03:40.000 Come on, man.

02:03:42.000 Hey.

02:03:44.000 You're cool.

02:03:45.000 I am disabled.

02:03:47.000 I am gay.

02:03:48.000 I am a woman.

02:03:49.000 I am black.

02:03:51.000 Damn!

02:03:54.000 Hello?

02:03:55.000 Not fucking good, you fucking rat, scumbag, fucking fat.

02:03:59.000 Not fucking good.

02:04:01.000 You're in the wrong fucking city, you fucking scumbag.

02:04:04.000 What if I were to say, I want to be a toad?

02:04:08.000 I want to be a woman.

02:04:11.000 It is a disaster.

02:04:12.000 Don't be disrespectful to people or not respect.

02:04:15.000 Disrespectful, I think, is not actually a word.

02:04:19.000 Everybody?

02:04:20.000 Boom, these explosions of bullshit.

02:04:24.000 Mother Nature's hella pissed.

02:04:26.000 Let me fuck you with my heels on.

02:04:28.000 Yeah.

02:04:29.000 Ooh, that's a hate crime right there, bro.

02:04:31.000 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

02:04:32.000 That's what I'm talking about.

02:04:34.000 Homeboys can I like fuck headache?

02:04:39.000 We don't give a damn.

02:04:41.000 Gay, is it?

02:04:42.000 You want to talk about woke?

02:04:44.000 I'm woke.

02:04:45.000 Hot shit.

02:04:48.000 Fucking quit.

02:04:50.000 I felt worthless.

02:04:51.000 I felt ugly.

02:04:52.000 I felt gay.

02:04:53.000 Could I have a firearm, please?

02:04:56.000 The fag capitals of the world.

02:04:58.000 Hello?

02:05:00.000 Holy shit.

02:05:03.000 How dare you?

02:05:04.000 Now that's how guys talk to one another.

02:05:06.000 I come really, really hard.

02:05:10.000 No, and I don't care.

02:05:14.000 I don't like the butt chick.

02:05:16.000 Yes, we drank beer.

02:05:17.000 I like beer.

02:05:19.000 As a matter of fact, I liked beer, and I think I know why.

02:05:24.000 That means you gay.

02:05:26.000 I know this isn't what you want, and I'm sorry.

02:05:29.000 They couldn't carry a tune to save their lives.

02:05:41.000 It's not a joke.

02:05:43.000 Mikey!

02:05:45.000 Mike!

02:05:46.000 Mikey!

02:05:47.000 With respect to Mr. McGinnis, because the law is different with respect to him.

02:05:52.000 Well, maybe he's gay.

02:05:53.000 You ever thought of that?

02:05:54.000 My son's on the cover of a magazine.

02:05:57.000 It doesn't say that.

02:05:58.000 You're a liar.

02:06:00.000 Wait.

02:06:01.000 I'm not persecuted.

02:06:03.000 I'm just an ass.

02:06:04.000 How are you doing, Gavin?

02:06:06.000 Gavin?

02:06:07.000 Who is going to be cleaning your toilet, Donald Trump?

02:06:10.000 In the sense that...

02:06:11.000 I swear to God, if it's the last thing I do, I'm going to get my hands around your throat.

02:06:15.000 I will eat your ass.

02:06:17.000 I'll eat your ass.

02:06:33.000 Come on, man.

02:06:34.000 Mikey!

02:06:35.000 Dude, fucking call Mikey.

02:06:38.000 Just leave.

02:06:39.000 Just go somewhere else.

02:06:40.000 Shut the fuck up and leave.

02:06:43.000 Come on, I'm fucking sweating my balls off.

02:06:46.000 Oh, fans, but it sounds like some fucking commie, gobbledy gook.

02:06:51.000 Did not flub at all.

02:06:53.000 It was no fucking flub.

02:06:55.000 It was not a flub.

02:06:58.000 No, come on, let's do it.

02:06:59.000 Fuck.

02:07:00.000 Wow, nothing wrong with that.

02:07:02.000 Nothing wrong with that.

02:07:03.000 Oh, oh, oh, that's so disgusting.

02:07:08.000 Oh, oh, oh.

02:07:09.000 Oh, how did you say that?

02:07:12.000 On your feet, soldier!

02:07:14.000 Just doing the thing?

02:07:16.000 Over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over.

02:07:23.000 And then they eat their poo-poo.

02:07:26.000 You have hurt me today.

02:07:27.000 Bunch of slap-jawed faggots around here.

02:07:30.000 I mean, look at him.

02:07:31.000 He's pimping.

02:07:32.000 Wait, what are you gonna do?

02:07:34.000 So.

02:07:35.000 Shut up, Janet.

02:07:37.000 Just gonna send it.

02:07:40.000 See what I'm saying?

02:07:41.000 You could have an aneurysm on a toilet.

02:07:43.000 You never know.

02:07:44.000 Brunt through a motherfucker face.

02:07:46.000 I don't tear up for sad things.

02:07:48.000 I tear up for happy things.

02:07:50.000 I tear up for happy things.

02:07:52.000 They are retarded, and in some ways, they're geniuses.

02:07:57.000 It's quiet.

02:07:57.000 Yeah, I know.

02:07:58.000 It's quiet for him.

02:07:59.000 To eat that poo-poo!

02:08:01.000 And this one is eating the poo-poo all over the place.

02:08:04.000 Sometimes the complaints will be false.

02:08:07.000 You son of a bitch.

02:08:09.000 I hate this fucking shit.

02:08:11.000 I hate this fucking shit.

02:08:13.000 I was here.

02:08:14.000 It's a joke.

02:08:15.000 What's that supposed to mean?

02:08:17.000 Jesus Christ.

02:08:18.000 Mr., you okay in there?

02:08:20.000 Speak in.

02:08:25.000 Now, you know, this is one of the oldest symbols.

02:08:28.000 The symbols.

02:08:30.000 Well, that means you're gay.

02:08:31.000 That's true.

02:08:33.000 The why of things.

02:08:34.000 That was too much of indecence.

02:08:37.000 A fucking woman boss.

02:08:39.000 But I'm talking to you here on a human level.

02:08:42.000 This sounds very gay.

02:08:44.000 Never happened in the States.

02:08:46.000 Never.

02:08:47.000 I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

02:08:49.000 He's a fag.

02:08:51.000 Well, I'll be dipped in shit.

02:08:52.000 There's a crazy Dinash thinks he's a doad.

02:08:55.000 I feel like I'm a doad.

02:08:57.000 Ain't nobody got time for this.

02:08:59.000 I am done.

02:09:00.000 You're gone.

02:09:01.000 I'm done.

02:09:02.000 Good afternoon, guys.

02:09:04.000 I am never gonna financially recover from this.

02:09:06.000 I said, we ain't that straight.

02:09:08.000 They're throwing themselves into the road gladly.

02:09:13.000 Look at that beautiful, beautiful bird.

02:09:15.000 Where are they coming from?

02:09:16.000 They're coming all over the place.

02:09:18.000 They're coming, and they are coming at levels that you haven't even seen yet.

02:09:22.000 I thought that was a great dishonor to her and to her family.

02:09:26.000 Boom!

02:09:26.000 These explosions of bullshit.

02:09:29.000 Get him out of here.

02:09:30.000 Get out.

02:09:31.000 I'm going to come.

02:09:33.000 I'll even kiss the men.

02:09:34.000 Yeah, that was supposed to be a joke, right?

02:09:36.000 Well, I like him too, but I don't know if I like him that much.

02:09:39.000 She looks like a fucking great rate hooker.

02:09:43.000 Oh, so lucky that is a lucky bird.

02:09:46.000 You gotta be proud of your boys.

02:09:47.000 Sex is like not a big deal.

02:09:49.000 Who the fuck is that?

02:09:51.000 Shut up.

02:09:52.000 Congratulations.

02:09:54.000 Why are you gay?

02:09:56.000 What the hell are you talking about?

02:10:00.000 What the fucker said that?

02:10:02.000 What?

02:10:04.000 What?

02:10:06.000 What's that?

02:10:06.000 Say that again?

02:10:08.000 Well, we're waiting.

02:10:11.000 You know, we're living in a society.

02:10:15.000 War.

02:10:19.000 War.

02:10:22.000 Fuck you.

02:10:25.000 I hate you.

02:10:27.000 I won't love it, but I'll kiss it.

02:10:30.000 Everything woke turns to shit, okay?

02:10:33.000 Shut up.

02:10:34.000 Shut your mouth.

02:10:36.000 Wow.

02:10:37.000 Wrong.

02:10:39.000 You dish.

02:10:44.000 You ugly.

02:10:46.000 Turn around.

02:10:46.000 You walk away.

02:10:48.000 You turn around and walk away.

02:10:51.000 If I catch any of you fuckers alone, I'm going to fucking kill you.

02:10:55.000 Jesus Christ.

02:10:57.000 Those nigga fucking horse, they play that music so loud.

02:11:00.000 And those are Puerto Ricans, Mrs. Guffey.

02:11:03.000 Well, that is a very unfortunate situation.

02:11:12.000 Don't be a cutie pie, okay?

02:11:25.000 You run from nothing, dog.

02:11:27.000 Get your soul, tell them that the break is over.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - January 01, 2022

NEW YEARS EVE

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