Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S03E10 - TITS VS. ASS [2020-09-08 - S03E10

00:00:37.000 See that STG bad boy by the way?

00:00:39.000 Oh shite, I left a fucking AC on and all.

00:00:42.000 That was a little blast from the past.

00:00:45.000 Raver culture there from the 90s.

00:00:48.000 Gabber and happy hardcore and all that.

00:00:51.000 I think Gabber started in the Netherlands, but it really blew up in Scotland, especially Glasgow.

00:00:57.000 Over at the arches on a Friday night, by the way, and all.

00:01:02.000 Fucking DJ Zitkiss and DJ Gammy.

00:01:07.000 Those guys would, so Gabber Techno is like that.

00:01:12.000 And sometimes it was just like Happy Hardcore was a little more musical and they'd bring in songs and do mixes.

00:01:20.000 I think I have some here, actually.

00:01:22.000 Did I?

00:01:23.000 Yeah, if you look up IamAraver.co.uk.

00:01:32.000 You can hear more of it.

00:01:33.000 They'll take like Bruce Springsteen and shit and, you know, whatchamacallit.

00:01:44.000 Oh, there they are.

00:01:45.000 That's the fucking blokes.

00:01:47.000 Wait, I'm doing British now.

00:01:50.000 They'll take all these hit songs and add that sort of gabber beat to it, happy hardcore.

00:01:55.000 And, you know, raving was big when I was a young man.

00:01:58.000 In my book, I don't really cover it because there's not much to say besides we were getting wasted on GHB and MDMA and just dancing with girls and making out with girls on GHB for like an hour that you have no particular interest in.

00:02:15.000 It's nothing of consequence to document from that era of my life, but it was fun.

00:02:21.000 But in Glasgow, dude, it was over the top.

00:02:25.000 They would get off work.

00:02:26.000 This is when there was still some manufacturing in Glasgow in the early 90s.

00:02:30.000 And they'd work at some like, I don't know, pharmaceutical plant where they're rolling these big barrels of aspirin.

00:02:37.000 And they'd bust their ass, as Northwegians are wont to do.

00:02:40.000 But they would leave work Friday at 5 p.m., go to the rave, and return Monday at ready for work, having not slept or stopped the entire fucking time.

00:02:54.000 That's when you know a town has manufacturing DNA in it.

00:02:57.000 And that's what's so sad about Glasgow today.

00:03:01.000 But those guys used to go 48 hours.

00:03:03.000 Boom.

00:03:04.000 Wait, is that more than 48 hours?

00:03:06.000 24 48.

00:03:09.000 I think it's 72 more like.

00:03:13.000 Well, it wasn't 72 because they work on the Friday.

00:03:15.000 But anyway.

00:03:17.000 And I think it's coming back now.

00:03:19.000 So all these guys, DJ Rank, Rankin, Gary McEff, DJ Gammy, they're all starting up again.

00:03:25.000 If you go to 1-2, you can see that Happy Hardcore is back.

00:03:30.000 I think it's a combination of old-timers like me.

00:03:32.000 That's the guy we just heard.

00:03:33.000 DJ Bad Boy, by the way, come by my hoos.

00:03:35.000 I'm a lightweight.

00:03:36.000 Everybody knows.

00:03:39.000 DJ fucking bad boy here.

00:03:40.000 Steaming of Shite.

00:03:42.000 Steaming of Shite.

00:03:48.000 Steaming means wasted.

00:03:51.000 I was meant to be going to dust 20 minutes ago.

00:03:53.000 Then I heard, DJ Bad Boyd's football.

00:03:57.000 Get me there.

00:03:58.000 Yeah, it's like a staple grown up in Scotland.

00:04:00.000 Weird seeing a hot Glaswegian woman, no offense.

00:04:03.000 Glasgow.

00:04:06.000 I believe Lamoti joined the event, which brings back the nostalgia and the pain.

00:04:14.000 We've got a fun show for you today.

00:04:15.000 We've got Ryan Long on.

00:04:16.000 We'll be talking about him, to him, and of him, and getting good at it, if you will.

00:04:24.000 And being good at it, if you will.

00:04:26.000 That was good.

00:04:27.000 That was a test, Ryan.

00:04:28.000 Thank you.

00:04:29.000 You passed.

00:04:30.000 Today's post, Madness.

00:04:32.000 Thanks a lot, white people.

00:04:34.000 Six-year-old mom among five victims in Jover shootings, which is a Haitian festival in Brooklyn that inevitably leads to death.

00:04:42.000 It rivals the Caribbean parade and the Puerto Rican Day parade.

00:04:45.000 And why are there so many deaths and rape?

00:04:47.000 Well, Puerto Rican Day Parade is more rape.

00:04:49.000 But why are there so many deaths at these African and Caribbean festivals?

00:04:54.000 Because of systemic white racism.

00:04:57.000 This six-year-old is crying because of lack of after-school programs and organic food.

00:05:03.000 In other words, you.

00:05:05.000 It's your fault and also you support this system.

00:05:08.000 It's not enough to be not racist.

00:05:11.000 You have to be anti-racist.

00:05:12.000 There's a difference.

00:05:12.000 So that means when you're anti-racist, you go to, you want to defund the police and you want to make sure that six-year-old black kids don't get shot by other black people because of the lack of opportunities.

00:05:26.000 Like, what if the guy who shot this six-year-old had an opportunity to go to law school?

00:05:30.000 What if we had a New York?

00:05:31.000 This is totally hypothetical, where you could go to school.

00:05:35.000 And if you went to any public school in New York or any of the boroughs and you got like a 65.

00:05:41.000 So in other words, you went to the majority of classes, but barely.

00:05:47.000 And what if that person who graduates with a C minus average, right?

00:05:51.000 An underachiever.

00:05:52.000 What if that person could then get a scholarship to a community college, which is only $3,000 anyway?

00:05:58.000 And then he could easily get a job, a trade, anything, and be making in a city like New York, after a couple years of apprenticeship, be making a good 80K a year.

00:06:08.000 If you want to get really ambitious and be an electrical engineer or do some sort of forensic accounting or be a plumber, that might take you more than five years sort of in the lower rungs, which is the same for doctors.

00:06:21.000 Doctors and surgeons.

00:06:22.000 But if you were to do all that, you're looking at 80K a year, which isn't a ton in the Upper West Side, but it's a fuck ton in the Bronx where you're from.

00:06:30.000 The why of things.

00:06:32.000 Okay, don't get over ambitious now.

00:06:34.000 Okay.

00:06:35.000 What if I could create a New York City like that for you?

00:06:37.000 Would you be happy?

00:06:38.000 Would this stop?

00:06:40.000 I did create that in New York.

00:06:41.000 It is there.

00:06:42.000 It's a fucking breeze to get a scholarship to community college.

00:06:46.000 My neighbor, remember when I first moved to the burbs, my neighbor goes, We're having a charity run, bike ride.

00:06:52.000 We're going from Manhattan to the suburbs to raise money for kids so they can go to college.

00:06:56.000 And I go, community college is three grand and it's a fucking cinch to get a scholarship.

00:07:03.000 Once again, you don't know blacks.

00:07:05.000 You don't know these areas.

00:07:06.000 You don't interact with them.

00:07:07.000 You just see this 1950s version of the world.

00:07:13.000 So we'll get to that actually later on the show.

00:07:15.000 Today's book of the day is Rats by Robert Sullivan.

00:07:19.000 What I love about this book is he said goodbye to his family.

00:07:22.000 And every night, I'm going to have to buy a bookstand.

00:07:25.000 Every night around 8 p.m., he would leave and go to the area where they seem to be the most prevalent, which is in lower Manhattan here, Wall Street, Chinatown.

00:07:38.000 They love Chinese food.

00:07:40.000 And Chinese people are not great at taking care of their garbage.

00:07:42.000 And I think they eat rats.

00:07:45.000 I have evidence of that, by the way.

00:07:48.000 He stayed up all night and just monitored rats.

00:07:51.000 He became a rat expert.

00:07:52.000 This is what writers should do.

00:07:54.000 This is what artists should do.

00:07:55.000 I don't have time to do that.

00:07:56.000 I'm busy.

00:07:58.000 The plumber I just talked about, who's making 80K a year, he doesn't have time either.

00:08:02.000 So we want you to go and do all that work and then impart to us.

00:08:05.000 That's what makes human beings special.

00:08:08.000 That's why we're better than monkeys.

00:08:10.000 Because we have memes.

00:08:12.000 And I don't mean the present version of the word memes.

00:08:13.000 I mean the dictionary definition of memes, which is the ability to pass on stories.

00:08:17.000 We pass on our genes, but we also pass on our memes.

00:08:20.000 And that's telling stories.

00:08:21.000 Hey, I checked out all these rats.

00:08:23.000 It took me months.

00:08:24.000 Here's what happened.

00:08:25.000 Now I have that experience by proxy.

00:08:27.000 A monkey just goes, ooh, ooh, ah, after it gets attacked by a tiger.

00:08:32.000 We go, hey, you know the giant cats with the stripes?

00:08:35.000 Stay away.

00:08:36.000 Now you have my experience.

00:08:38.000 That's why we're the superior species.

00:08:40.000 That's why we should read books like this.

00:08:42.000 And that's why artists should do shit like this, which brings me to my beef from yesterday's show.

00:08:46.000 I was thinking about this.

00:08:47.000 Tim Poole, he thinks like a chick.

00:08:52.000 And he goes, I'm so sick of hearing about Soros.

00:08:54.000 Do you do it, Tim Poole?

00:08:56.000 I'm sick of hearing about Soros, man.

00:08:57.000 I mean, the other day, Joe Biden, I mean, he's heading for, you know, the left looking like they're in trouble, man.

00:09:04.000 They've got to put a B on B Real.

00:09:05.000 I was just going to say that.

00:09:06.000 You need the B. Yeah, I need the B. You should shave a bald spot and then do the B. I need that.

00:09:12.000 And that's how chicks think.

00:09:13.000 They go, you know, we're a nation of immigrants.

00:09:16.000 We should let more people in.

00:09:17.000 We should spend more.

00:09:18.000 Children are our greatest asset.

00:09:20.000 We should spend more on education.

00:09:22.000 Okay.

00:09:22.000 How much are we spending on education?

00:09:23.000 How many immigrants are there?

00:09:25.000 Like, the numbers matter, ladies.

00:09:27.000 And that includes you, Tim.

00:09:29.000 So he goes, you know, they have Soros.

00:09:32.000 We have Peter Thiel.

00:09:34.000 Both sides have millionaires.

00:09:35.000 Oh, okay.

00:09:36.000 So that's the end of the discussion because some people have money and other people have money.

00:09:41.000 Ergo, there's no left-wing bias.

00:09:43.000 There's no massive influence with donors in politics.

00:09:47.000 Dude, the Koch brothers are irrelevant.

00:09:50.000 Peter Thiel doesn't influence elections.

00:09:54.000 Barely, barely.

00:09:57.000 They influence elections.

00:09:59.000 They have the media.

00:10:00.000 So what you do as a journalist, just like the Ratsman, is you go look it up.

00:10:05.000 Like it's okay to sit there and pontificate with your beanie on if you're Pap Buchanan.

00:10:11.000 Because the guy, for example, for the book The Unnecessary War about World War II, he read something like 70 books just to do research for that book, which is like a fucking compendium of incredible information.

00:10:23.000 So some old geezer like that can sit there and just shoot the shit to me.

00:10:27.000 Ann Coulter can.

00:10:28.000 Christopher Hitchens could.

00:10:30.000 But when you're a little kid, I don't care about your fucking opinion.

00:10:34.000 You have to look it up, do the work.

00:10:35.000 That's what journalists do.

00:10:36.000 They knock on doors.

00:10:38.000 They make phone calls.

00:10:39.000 So Jim Goad is the opposite of this.

00:10:42.000 And he does his research.

00:10:44.000 And he's done extensive research on this concept of our side influencing elections and media just like theirs does.

00:10:52.000 And it's not even.

00:10:53.000 For example, here's an old article he did in 2011 about the Koch brothers getting Scott Walker elected.

00:10:58.000 They're being blamed for buying the recent Wisconsin governor's election.

00:11:01.000 He's talking about the Koch brothers.

00:11:02.000 Although, if you were suddenly compelled to do something insane, such as look at the actual numbers, I'm underlining my own notes, which go in the garbage immediately after the show.

00:11:12.000 You'd find three unions who each kicked down more cash to the Democratic candidate than the Cokes gave to Scott Walker.

00:11:20.000 You might even learn that all Wisconsin unions and public workers welded together their angry oppressed fists to outspend the Cokes by a factor of at least 20 to 1.

00:11:32.000 This is not an unusual case.

00:11:34.000 And that as a quotient of total Republican domination, donations, dominations, very difficult donation, the Coke's contribution to Skywalker's campaign amounts to less than half a percent.

00:11:47.000 And then he did a much more extensive article many years later, that's one for where if you want to follow the money, you got to turn left.

00:11:56.000 Oh, this is the same year.

00:11:59.000 Despite a 2006 study of Fortune 500 companies that showed America's wealthiest 100 corporations donated 59 million to leftist causes and a paltry 4 million to the political right, 4 to 59 isn't just some are like this and some are like that.

00:12:16.000 That's how you talk when you're a teenager.

00:12:18.000 Yeah, there's Antifa, but there's also the KKK.

00:12:21.000 Remember that dude at the bar?

00:12:23.000 He's a fucking teacher in the Bronx charter school, so it's pretty easy because everyone there is determined to win.

00:12:30.000 And I go, you know, they have goons showing up at these rallies, these Antifa goons, attacking their political opponents.

00:12:37.000 They just did it recently attacking Rand Paul on his way back from a GOP convention, whatever, talk.

00:12:43.000 And he goes, well, the left has that too.

00:12:45.000 They have got their goons.

00:12:46.000 I assume he's going to say Proud Boys.

00:12:47.000 And I go, oh, really?

00:12:48.000 Who?

00:12:49.000 And he goes, the KKK.

00:12:51.000 What the hell are you talking about?

00:12:56.000 The KKK goes to DNC rallies with their giant burning torches and their horses.

00:13:03.000 And they intimidate.

00:13:04.000 What the f- sometimes the complaints will be false.

00:13:09.000 He's lips looked out of sync.

00:13:12.000 Sometimes the complaints will be false.

00:13:16.000 A little bit.

00:13:17.000 Is that just maybe my monitor?

00:13:18.000 Maybe.

00:13:19.000 It seems a little stuttery.

00:13:24.000 Despite a 2006 study of Fortune 500.

00:13:26.000 Wait, did I already read this yet?

00:13:27.000 Yeah, 59 million to leftist causes.

00:13:29.000 So Kevin Williamson over at National Review, who I'm not a fan of, he's a never-Trumper.

00:13:35.000 He shits on Proud Boys and all kinds of stuff.

00:13:38.000 And I've met him a couple of times.

00:13:39.000 His breath could melt molten steel.

00:13:43.000 No, steel.

00:13:44.000 It could turn steel into molten lava.

00:13:46.000 It could turn molten steel into regular steel.

00:13:50.000 It could make molten steel be more molten.

00:13:53.000 It could burn molten steel.

00:13:55.000 It could evaporate.

00:13:56.000 It could turn molten steel to steam.

00:13:59.000 What's that called?

00:13:59.000 Sublimation?

00:14:00.000 It could sublimate molten lava.

00:14:03.000 Oof.

00:14:04.000 By the way, that's one of the good things about these masks.

00:14:07.000 You realize if you have bad breath, and I'm one of them.

00:14:09.000 I was walking around the other day going, someone here has really bad breath, and it's making me barf.

00:14:14.000 Who's been farting since I put this on?

00:14:16.000 Did someone fart in my mask?

00:14:20.000 So I've been using Listerine now.

00:14:22.000 And I got laid twice in the week, which for a married man with three kids is like being at a fucking crystal meth circuit party.

00:14:32.000 I was going to say orgy.

00:14:33.000 All right, so Kevin says he sums it up.

00:14:35.000 Why?

00:14:36.000 Because he goes more than just the fact that there's donations from billionaires like Soros.

00:14:42.000 He gets into the actual donations from corporations.

00:15:00.000 conservatives are cheap dates.

00:15:02.000 You do not have to convince the readers of National Review or Republicans in Val Paraisio that American business is in general a force for good in the world.

00:15:11.000 But if you are, e.g.

00:15:12.000 Exxon, you might feel the need to convince certain people, young and idealistic, and maybe a little stupid in spite of their expensive educations, that you are not so bad after all, and that you are spending mucho schmundo turning algae into biofuel,

00:15:28.000 in the words of an Exxon advertisement, and combating malaria and doing other nice things.

00:15:33.000 All of that is true, and Exxon makes sure you people know it.

00:15:36.000 The professional activists may sneer and scoff, but they are not the audience.

00:15:41.000 This is all me correcting Tim Poole's rant, by the way.

00:15:45.000 1.6.

00:15:47.000 A recent Capital Research Center analysis of charitable donations showed that donations by the left to Fortune 500 foundations totaled $59 million compared to $4 million to the right.

00:16:01.000 These are Fortune 500 foundations, very difficult foundations, not corporations.

00:16:07.000 They're up to no good.

00:16:08.000 Again, we're seeing the same kind of ratio we saw before, right?

00:16:11.000 So the donations to these woke foundations is $59 million left, $4 million right.

00:16:17.000 And before, the numbers were very similar, right?

00:16:25.000 They were...

00:16:25.000 Come on, Gav.

00:16:26.000 It was 20 to 1 with the unions and the Koch brothers.

00:16:31.000 Oh, and then with the oh, it's the same stat I'm reading.

00:16:35.000 Yeah, that sounded familiar.

00:16:36.000 Yeah, yeah, the same one.

00:16:37.000 Sorry.

00:16:38.000 It's like, we're seeing a pattern here as I repeat the same stat twice.

00:16:42.000 Noticing this number every time I repeat that number?

00:16:45.000 One out of one times.

00:16:47.000 It's the truth.

00:16:47.000 Look at all the different people that are doing this.

00:16:49.000 Why?

00:16:49.000 There's the Koch brothers, Soros, there's Soros and the Koch brothers.

00:16:54.000 And then finally, of course, as we know, the left owns the media.

00:16:57.000 So it's not six and one, half a dozen or the other.

00:17:00.000 Just 7% of journalists are Republicans.

00:17:03.000 Holy shit.

00:17:05.000 Also on yesterday's show, we had Jessica Krug, who is a white woman that I would have dated back in high school, kind of a quirky Jew.

00:17:17.000 And she became a, I think she went black first.

00:17:20.000 And then they go, wow, are you an albino?

00:17:23.000 And she's like, oh, yeah, I know I look white.

00:17:25.000 That's because I'm Hispanic, Afro-Hispanic.

00:17:27.000 And that throws in the whole Caribbean slave trade, Aztecs.

00:17:31.000 It gets pretty ambiguous there.

00:17:33.000 I'm sure there was even some Jews.

00:17:35.000 So it gave her a better hiding spot.

00:17:38.000 So then she was like from the Bronx, but she's from Kansas, suburban white Kansas.

00:17:43.000 So then she had the thing about her accent is it goes from like fucking Cardi B and shit to just a normal accent as she focuses more on her point.

00:17:52.000 But in that footage we showed yesterday, 1-8, we didn't show the very beginning where her accent is even thicker.

00:17:59.000 This is 1-8.

00:18:00.000 I gotta.

00:18:01.000 Wait, was that 1-8 you're looking at now?

00:18:03.000 Yeah, I could get the original.

00:18:05.000 It's when she talks about indigenous New Yorkers.

00:18:10.000 Yeah, there we go.

00:18:11.000 Yeah.

00:18:11.000 I'm Jessa Bombalera.

00:18:13.000 I'm here in El Barrio.

00:18:16.000 Now, I'm not a Puerto Rican like you.

00:18:18.000 Does anyone say the barrio?

00:18:21.000 No.

00:18:22.000 That's like a 70s Puerto Rican thing to call the suburbs.

00:18:26.000 You could say Jessica if you're Puerto Rican.

00:18:27.000 She just fails.

00:18:28.000 So like Jessam Bombera.

00:18:29.000 No, no, no.

00:18:30.000 She calls herself, it's a new name.

00:18:31.000 Jess La Bombera.

00:18:34.000 I think Bomberta is a firefighter.

00:18:36.000 Oh, okay.

00:18:37.000 So she's given herself a cool name.

00:18:39.000 I'm Jessa Bombalera.

00:18:41.000 I'm here in Nerbario, East Harlem.

00:18:43.000 You probably know this neighborhood because the Hosanna Melizamarc Piverrito, who used to be the speaker of your city council, sold my fucking neighborhood to developers and gentrifies.

00:18:52.000 So I got a couple of things to say.

00:18:53.000 And when y'all...

00:18:54.000 No, they need to hear that.

00:18:55.000 From Nabario?

00:18:57.000 I'm Jessa Bombalera.

00:18:58.000 I'm here in Nbarrio, East Harlem.

00:19:01.000 You probably know this neighborhood.

00:19:02.000 That's insulting.

00:19:03.000 Because the Hosanna Melissa.

00:19:05.000 What accent is that?

00:19:05.000 I'm offended.

00:19:06.000 She's kind of going black.

00:19:08.000 Who used to be the speaker of your city council, sold my fucking neighborhood to developers and gentrifies.

00:19:13.000 So I got a couple of things to say.

00:19:15.000 And when y'all know, she goes white.

00:19:17.000 Tell me my time.

00:19:18.000 From Nebatio?

00:19:19.000 That is very embarrassing.

00:19:21.000 And it's insulting that she thinks that Puerto Ricans couldn't just not curse that much in a meeting.

00:19:27.000 She tells them, like, fuck out of here with that shit.

00:19:29.000 Yeah, I know.

00:19:30.000 When Cardi B spoke to Joe Biden, she managed to keep it clean.

00:19:33.000 Although she's Dominican, right?

00:19:35.000 What's the, you got your own Jessica Krug research?

00:19:38.000 So didn't you say a guy was her student and she kept shitting on him for being a piece of white shit?

00:19:43.000 Yeah, he wrote a whole article about how he's half black, but she was like, how many protests have you been to?

00:19:47.000 And he's like, none.

00:19:48.000 She's in the studio.

00:19:49.000 You ain't black enough.

00:19:50.000 He's a little blacker than you.

00:19:51.000 And he liked Bob Dylan.

00:19:52.000 He's like, well, he talked about protesting and uprising and stuff like that.

00:19:55.000 She's like, nah, he's white and stuff.

00:19:58.000 You got to listen to Migos and some other things.

00:20:00.000 It's a great article.

00:20:01.000 Oh, put it up.

00:20:03.000 Okay, here we go.

00:20:05.000 Yeah, actually, funniest thought is, true stories.

00:20:08.000 It's my dad and press.

00:20:09.000 Nothing wrong with that.

00:20:10.000 The guy that recognized us on the street that one time, I don't know if you remember, it was a while ago, but there was a couple.

00:20:17.000 He's kept in touch and he sent me this.

00:20:19.000 So he's still watching the show.

00:20:22.000 Yeah, he wrote this article here in Counter magazine or something.

00:20:29.000 Jessica Krug, the fake black professor, once questioned my blackness.

00:20:32.000 Look at her.

00:20:32.000 Go back up.

00:20:33.000 Let me see her.

00:20:35.000 I mean, I guess because she's putting it all on her nose?

00:20:40.000 Yeah.

00:20:40.000 All her money's on her nose.

00:20:42.000 Because we've seen black, straightened hair, and it's never that sort of full.

00:20:48.000 Look at the hoop earrings, too.

00:20:49.000 Like, to make an afro go straight, you got to fucking fry it to jet.

00:20:53.000 So then it's just like, pss, like singed to shreds.

00:20:55.000 It never has that sort of curly, Jewish body to it.

00:21:00.000 Look at the hoop earrings are insulting.

00:21:02.000 The hoop earrings are hula hoop earrings.

00:21:08.000 In 2016, Dylan did not deserve the prize.

00:21:10.000 I posted a comment disagreeing with him, doubting Dylan's out of the blue.

00:21:13.000 I was verbally attacked by someone With a peculiar Facebook name, Jesla Bombalera, who we just heard from.

00:21:19.000 She claimed that Dylan was an old, irrelevant white man who had nothing to do with the modern-day protests in the streets.

00:21:29.000 She told me that the kids protesting in the streets weren't playing Dylan, but future and amigos, who were more relevant to the protest.

00:21:36.000 Don't amigos just sing about like Taco Tuesday and shit?

00:21:40.000 Yeah.

00:21:40.000 My dick, my dick.

00:21:41.000 Migos just sing about their dicks, eating tacos, fucking chicks, and getting high.

00:21:45.000 Yep.

00:21:46.000 That's more the streets, yo.

00:21:50.000 There's a couple of other notable things in here.

00:21:52.000 Like Jess Lovenberre took this opportunity to attack me personally.

00:21:56.000 I wasn't a real revolutionary person, a person of color.

00:21:59.000 He said that his dad was from Jamaica and his mom was an anti-apartheid activist from South Africa.

00:22:03.000 She then attributed my respect for Dylan to my whiteness and questioned my white mother's motives fighting apartheid.

00:22:09.000 That's awesome.

00:22:10.000 Isn't that awesome?

00:22:11.000 That sums up so much of this shit.

00:22:13.000 It's always deflection.

00:22:16.000 Every time they're accusing you of something, it's because they do it.

00:22:19.000 So she's sitting there doing exactly what she's accusing that man's mother of doing, which is just showboating for virtue signaling.

00:22:29.000 Wait, what was that Twitter thing you had up, a montage of her?

00:22:32.000 Oh, it's just a little clip of her being very white.

00:22:37.000 Politics of New York City has done for many, many years.

00:22:41.000 Aren't you from the part of the story that gets emphasized in different ways is that he was an explorer, right?

00:22:47.000 Which is a program that the NYPD has to bring youth in to eventually work for them.

00:22:54.000 And so when I think about this politics of silence that I'm talking about in the archives, right, and how silence can be a really radical presence historically, I think it's a radical presence today.

00:23:04.000 When people talk about snitches get stitches, right?

00:23:07.000 Or when we think about a history of anti-apartheid struggle in South Africa and necklacing, right, and that kind of violence towards people who are collaborating.

00:23:17.000 There's a lot to unpack here.

00:23:18.000 So she's talking about the Trinitarios who murdered that kid in a bodega.

00:23:24.000 And she's saying they murdered him because he's a snitch and that's their culture.

00:23:29.000 And they have to do that.

00:23:30.000 That's how they maintain order like a gang.

00:23:32.000 First of all, that's not a good thing.

00:23:33.000 Like the mob and bikers and MS-13 murdering what you call snitches and informants, that's not a defense.

00:23:43.000 But minor detail, bitch, he wasn't a snitch.

00:23:47.000 He was a nice kid who eventually wanted to become a cop.

00:23:50.000 So he was in their rookie program where you go and you do volunteer thing.

00:23:54.000 The military's equivalent is the cadets, where you go and you shine your boots and you do little drills.

00:23:58.000 And it's basically plain army man.

00:24:02.000 They were playing cop.

00:24:03.000 Nothing to do with the Trinitarios.

00:24:05.000 That kid was murdered, you lazy bitch, because they thought he fucked a Trinitarios girlfriend and filmed it.

00:24:13.000 But he looked like the guy who did that.

00:24:16.000 He didn't do that.

00:24:17.000 So it had fuck all to do with snitching and everything to do with killing the wrong guy for some bullshit jealous rumor.

00:24:27.000 Secondly, the necklacing was done by Winnie Mandela, wife of terrorist Nelson Mandela, to terrorize locals, various tribes in South Africa, and accrue more power.

00:24:41.000 It had fuck all to do with snitching.

00:24:43.000 Who are they snitching to?

00:24:44.000 Winnie Mandela was the powers that be.

00:24:49.000 She was the gangster.

00:24:50.000 She was the El Chapel of South Africa.

00:24:54.000 She was necklacing her enemies.

00:24:56.000 Anyone who disparaged her, she was a fucking fascist.

00:24:59.000 She was a Nazi terrorist cunt.

00:25:03.000 You know what necklacing is, right?

00:25:05.000 You told me not to Google it.

00:25:06.000 You put it, don't Google it, please don't Google it.

00:25:08.000 You take an empty tire, car tire, put it around your enemy's neck, fill it with gas, light the gas on fire, you tie them up so they can't get it off, and then the hot tar melts, hot rubber, I mean, melts all over you and you dive third-degree burns.

00:25:26.000 Who are working against their communities?

00:25:28.000 We have to consider a radical moment in 2018 in which people are using machetes to hack apart a 15-year-old boy who's working with the police.

00:25:37.000 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:25:42.000 Did she just say it's a necessary evil to maintain the community standards or some shit?

00:25:48.000 Because he's working against their community because he's trying to be a police officer.

00:25:51.000 We just guessed that.

00:25:52.000 Yeah.

00:25:54.000 He's not an informant?

00:25:55.000 Right.

00:25:56.000 He's like, it's like Paw Patrol.

00:25:59.000 Yeah.

00:26:00.000 Kind of violence towards people who are collaborating, who are working against their communities.

00:26:06.000 We have to consider a radical moment in 2018 in which people are using machetes to hack apart a 15-year-old boy who's working with the police.

00:26:16.000 The way the story about his innocence and the inherent violence of the people who hack him apart become the narrative of innocence is the story of people.

00:26:29.000 And it's so much more difficult to understand what kind of freedom we achieve by being willing to confront those within the community who are working against the interests of the community as a whole and the future.

00:26:45.000 So I will end there.

00:26:46.000 Thank you for listening.

00:26:49.000 What an absolute sociopath.

00:26:51.000 I heard an applause starting right at the end of that clip.

00:26:54.000 That's terrifying.

00:26:55.000 Do you know what I always want to see with these things?

00:26:57.000 Let's see the person you're talking about.

00:27:00.000 Let's see his family.

00:27:01.000 That's a great point, Jessica, about how they had to hack him to death because he was working with police.

00:27:06.000 Can you just say that in front of his mother, please, and his family?

00:27:11.000 Or, you know, when they call John Kinsman's wife, they go, he's a Nazis.

00:27:14.000 He's in a hate group.

00:27:15.000 Really?

00:27:15.000 His wife and kids are black.

00:27:16.000 Yeah, she's a bed wench.

00:27:17.000 Okay.

00:27:18.000 Can you say it in front of her?

00:27:19.000 She's right over there.

00:27:20.000 Can you tell her that she's just a slave, a fuckbag for John?

00:27:23.000 She's a bed wench.

00:27:24.000 She's human garbage.

00:27:25.000 Can you just...

00:27:26.000 Also, you may want to say it in front of the kids, too.

00:27:28.000 Say it to her, but her kids will be an extra.

00:27:30.000 Can you do that?

00:27:33.000 Or the Central Park Five, which Ann Coulter watches MSNBC like non-stop, and I hadn't seen it before.

00:27:39.000 I don't really watch it.

00:27:41.000 And they had a big interview with one of the Central Park Five, you know what they called him?

00:27:44.000 One of the Exonerated five.

00:27:47.000 Okay, while you're talking to the exonerated five, can you bring out the woman who's still alive from the Central Park Five who had to rebuild her brain?

00:27:55.000 And she goes on tours with neurosurgeons where she discusses how discusses how the brain can slowly repair itself and how there is hope.

00:28:05.000 There she is.

00:28:06.000 She was raped literally within an inch of her life.

00:28:09.000 She was raped and beaten so severely that the police just started investigating a homicide.

00:28:15.000 When they saw the buckets of blood around her, they went, oh, well, she's dead.

00:28:18.000 So let's find out who killed her.

00:28:19.000 And then she starts gurgling blood.

00:28:22.000 What the fuck?

00:28:24.000 So can we have her on with the exonerated five, please?

00:28:27.000 If nobody snitched, they wouldn't have been in trouble in the first place.

00:28:31.000 To be fair.

00:28:34.000 Yeah.

00:28:35.000 They're just trying to help their community.

00:28:38.000 How are we doing for time?

00:28:39.000 How long have we been chatting for?

00:28:43.000 I did a hand signal.

00:28:44.000 I've got some random shit here.

00:28:46.000 Did you know there's Coke merchandise?

00:28:49.000 No.

00:28:50.000 Oh, yeah.

00:28:50.000 Of course, like sure.

00:28:51.000 Coke is a...

00:28:52.000 No, no, no, no.

00:28:53.000 Oh.

00:28:53.000 Shit for doing Coke.

00:28:54.000 Oh.

00:28:55.000 Now they pretend it's for snuff, but like cocaine is a vice.

00:29:00.000 And I never got, like, people who buy a carton of cigarettes, they're committing to, I'm going to be smoking for a long time.

00:29:06.000 That's why whenever I buy a bottle of makers, I get the little one because I'm like, I'm probably going to be slowing down a bit.

00:29:11.000 Now, if I was economical, I'd buy that fucking gigantic Thor hammer.

00:29:15.000 But let me see it.

00:29:18.000 Why aren't you showing it?

00:29:20.000 So they're selling two things.

00:29:23.000 One is like a credit card, right, that you use to cut up your Coke.

00:29:27.000 But that also has a little bump stick on it.

00:29:30.000 Go back.

00:29:31.000 You see the little thing that protrudes?

00:29:33.000 Perfect.

00:29:34.000 That's two things you can do bumps off of.

00:29:36.000 And is that a line?

00:29:37.000 That divot right there?

00:29:38.000 That little that you can put a little line in there?

00:29:42.000 So you have two cards.

00:29:43.000 One card puts the Coke in there.

00:29:46.000 So there's two ways to do Coke, according to these guys.

00:29:48.000 You can do little toots magoots.

00:29:50.000 Or you can do lines, but they also have trays.

00:29:53.000 Look at this.

00:29:54.000 Here's a nice tray.

00:29:56.000 And you can cut out your lines.

00:29:57.000 It lights up.

00:29:58.000 So you can see your lines perfectly.

00:30:00.000 Dude, you're really committing to this vice.

00:30:03.000 It's a fusion board.

00:30:04.000 Yeah, like you're basically saying, I'm going to be doing Coke for 10 years.

00:30:08.000 There's a nice black one.

00:30:10.000 How do you explain that when your kids find that?

00:30:12.000 Dad, what's this glow-in-the-dark line box with the wonky credit cards?

00:30:16.000 Here, pull out a bit.

00:30:19.000 Look at the black keys.

00:30:19.000 Oh, the keys.

00:30:20.000 Oh, they have plastic keys because, oh, you know.

00:30:24.000 Because you keep losing your keys when you use your own keys, right?

00:30:29.000 But there's a cool black one.

00:30:31.000 Keep going down a black board.

00:30:36.000 You know?

00:30:38.000 It's like a black cocaine board.

00:30:40.000 Well, I guess the one you see there, wait, the one shining on the left next to the blue one.

00:30:46.000 Yeah, I guess that might be like dark black.

00:30:49.000 Yeah, it seems to be pretty big, too.

00:30:51.000 Oh, here's gold, next to a hand.

00:30:53.000 It's a lot of cocaine.

00:30:55.000 Oh, dude.

00:30:55.000 Yeah, that's serious biz.

00:30:59.000 Also in the news.

00:31:00.000 I definitely don't want one of those.

00:31:03.000 I saw the movie.

00:31:05.000 Oh, my kids made me watch Bill and Ted.

00:31:07.000 Oh, cool.

00:31:08.000 How was it?

00:31:09.000 Sucks so much shit.

00:31:11.000 Oh, man.

00:31:12.000 Oh, my God.

00:31:13.000 The acting, it's about Bill and Ted's daughters.

00:31:17.000 And guess how Bill's daughter walks around, dude?

00:31:22.000 Totally, man.

00:31:25.000 It's politically correct.

00:31:26.000 It's all about chicks being empowered.

00:31:28.000 And again, every time they empower chicks, they make them into dudes.

00:31:33.000 So now these girls are just like fucking dudes, man.

00:31:39.000 Here's a real idea for you.

00:31:41.000 Be role models to your daughter.

00:31:43.000 Get real jobs.

00:31:49.000 We've spent our whole life trying to rename the world.

00:31:52.000 And I'm tired, dude.

00:31:54.000 Ted, we have a destiny.

00:31:55.000 I'm tired of this acting career.

00:31:58.000 Kristen Shawl is so shockingly hideous.

00:32:02.000 I mean, I commend...

00:32:03.000 Isn't it proof that we live in a feminist society when, oh, they're about to show her.

00:32:07.000 Okay.

00:32:08.000 When someone like that can have a career, you're welcome.

00:32:13.000 You're a movie star and you're a two.

00:32:15.000 When your wife suggested couples, that's what they had in mind.

00:32:21.000 Remember in that, what's it called?

00:32:24.000 Sky Street, Hijack Street, 21 Jump Street?

00:32:27.000 Uh-oh, in the sequel, Seth, what's his name, is chasing her.

00:32:30.000 And she, because she's a bad guy, and she keeps stopping going, are we doing this?

00:32:35.000 Are we fucking?

00:32:36.000 He's like, what?

00:32:36.000 No, I'm arresting you.

00:32:38.000 And then she keeps running.

00:32:39.000 She is very funny.

00:32:40.000 She was one of the funniest scenes in a movie I've ever seen.

00:32:42.000 Should I find it?

00:32:43.000 Let me find it.

00:32:43.000 Yeah, see if we can find it.

00:32:44.000 See, was it 21 Jumpstreet?

00:32:46.000 It was such a random thing to do in a chase scene.

00:32:49.000 All of a sudden, have one woman say, are we doing this?

00:32:53.000 He's like, what?

00:32:54.000 No.

00:32:57.000 You probably have to find her name.

00:32:59.000 Yeah.

00:33:00.000 And while you do that, I'd like to take a side note here to talk about this obsession we have with women being part of the story.

00:33:10.000 Women aren't in enough of our stories, right?

00:33:13.000 So let's do Bill and Ted, but make women in it.

00:33:16.000 Women are not story types.

00:33:19.000 Like, you know why there's not a female Paul Revere?

00:33:22.000 Because the females in Paul Revere's life were making him with their vaginas, right?

00:33:28.000 Raising him, shaping him, helping him be brave, providing him with the security to become a successful soldier and brave man, being there for the father as he helps.

00:33:39.000 So the problem with you saying that women have to be in all stories implies that stories are the be-all and end-all.

00:33:46.000 I went to some dumb feminist seminar for a lark a few years ago, and they were talking about how women are only in like 4% of action movies.

00:33:55.000 Yeah, they're in about 4% of fights in the world.

00:33:59.000 That's not their bag.

00:34:01.000 And it trivializes what their real role is, which is creating the men in these stories and shaping their lives, shaping their homes, providing the foundation.

00:34:09.000 It's like, why are we always talking about humans and God isn't in any stories?

00:34:13.000 God is in 3% of Movies, he's the one who created the universe.

00:34:17.000 And you go, Yeah, it's because he created the universe.

00:34:19.000 It's kind of a given.

00:34:20.000 It's like God at the top, gotcha.

00:34:22.000 Then we're down here doing a little silly stories.

00:34:24.000 Pew, pew, pew, pew.

00:34:27.000 So it's fucking lame.

00:34:28.000 What are you looking at?

00:34:29.000 This actually isn't.

00:34:30.000 It says chasing and it's at the end of the movie.

00:34:34.000 I found it by searching her, but no.

00:34:38.000 My kid.

00:34:39.000 I remember they're going through the dorms.

00:34:43.000 This looks like a car scene.

00:34:45.000 Yep.

00:34:46.000 Dang it.

00:34:48.000 Her name is Jill Jillian Bell.

00:34:51.000 Jillian Bell.

00:34:52.000 Women tend not to be funny, but some of my favorite funny broads, funny people are women.

00:34:57.000 Women don't tend to be good writers, but some of my favorite writers are women.

00:35:01.000 It's called counterintuitive thinking.

00:35:03.000 Okay, let's give up on that.

00:35:05.000 You're never going to find it.

00:35:05.000 Yep.

00:35:06.000 Plus, it's kind of X-rated, so it's not going to be on YouTube.

00:35:09.000 Are we doing this now?

00:35:10.000 Are we fucking?

00:35:13.000 So don't watch Bill and Ted's.

00:35:15.000 It reeks.

00:35:16.000 Oh, man.

00:35:17.000 I have to.

00:35:18.000 Well, you're returning.

00:35:19.000 Hey, wait, that might be it.

00:35:20.000 This is the.

00:35:21.000 This is Old Man River.

00:35:22.000 Come on.

00:35:23.000 Get up and hit me, you fucking pussy.

00:35:26.000 I'm not going to fight a girl, so just stop.

00:35:28.000 Shouldn't matter.

00:35:30.000 Unless you're going to fuck me.

00:35:31.000 I'm not going to fuck you.

00:35:32.000 We can fuck you.

00:35:33.000 No, we're not.

00:35:34.000 Is that what's happening?

00:35:35.000 I'm not going to fuck you.

00:35:38.000 Ever.

00:35:39.000 Wait, go back.

00:35:40.000 You went too far ahead.

00:35:44.000 Are you kidding me?

00:35:45.000 It's plastic.

00:35:45.000 Doesn't even hurt.

00:35:47.000 This isn't a dream.

00:35:53.000 Somebody's moving in my face.

00:36:02.000 Don't fuck off me unless you're gonna fuck me.

00:36:10.000 I'm not gonna fuck you.

00:36:13.000 I gotta watch this.

00:36:14.000 Wait, keep going.

00:36:14.000 Okay, okay.

00:36:23.000 It's cool that they chose her, too, to be this major, you know, coke mogul murderer criminal.

00:36:30.000 Choke me with your liver-spotted hands?

00:36:32.000 You know, push me over with your walker?

00:36:34.000 I'm impressed you caught up to me.

00:36:36.000 You probably haven't run that fast since you played stickball in the field behind old pop Wiggleby's sweet shop.

00:36:41.000 Freaky, bitch.

00:36:42.000 Thank God.

00:36:43.000 Look who got off the motherfucking leash.

00:36:45.000 Now who's the damn zone of distress?

00:36:47.000 Well, I guess it's him.

00:36:49.000 I'm gonna have a clean shot, Schmidt.

00:36:51.000 Then don't take the shot.

00:36:52.000 Maybe I want to take a dirty shot.

00:36:54.000 Kind of like the dirty shot you took on my daughter.

00:36:56.000 Can take a dirty shot.

00:36:59.000 That happens with Kumi all the time.

00:37:01.000 They'll watch some like old honeymoon or something, and then you'll notice that he's just sort of zoning it out.

00:37:06.000 We're just watching.

00:37:07.000 Wait a minute.

00:37:07.000 Oh, I'm at work.

00:37:11.000 Yeah, see if you can look up Hard Kill.

00:37:14.000 Because it really is.

00:37:15.000 I wouldn't recommend watching it alone, but if you're smoking dubs with your pals and you want to see a piece of fucking garbage, this was shot in 10 days.

00:37:25.000 It's this weird Iranian dude who always works with Bruce Willis these days.

00:37:29.000 Wait.

00:37:34.000 Derek Miller, Red Abornia.

00:37:38.000 Impressive stuff.

00:37:39.000 Just doing my duty.

00:37:40.000 Spoken like a true soldier.

00:37:42.000 Pause.

00:37:44.000 Can't you just see the script in what's it called?

00:37:47.000 Final draft?

00:37:48.000 You can see like whatever Willis's name is in the middle there.

00:37:51.000 And then the whole movie, I was just seeing the script page after page.

00:37:56.000 I could almost see it like subtitles.

00:37:59.000 And what drives me nuts about that scene is he's like, just doing my duty, spoken like a true soldier.

00:38:05.000 So you saw some action, he says to Bruce Willis, and Bruce Willis is like, yeah.

00:38:08.000 And then he says, Mogadishu.

00:38:10.000 He pronounces Mogadishu wrong, like Mogadishu.

00:38:14.000 And then Bruce Willis goes, Mogadishu, Somalia, Afghanistan.

00:38:18.000 And I'm like, wait a minute.

00:38:19.000 Mogadishu is the capital of Somalia.

00:38:22.000 You went to, I've been to New York City and New York State, if you can believe that.

00:38:27.000 Stupid.

00:38:28.000 And here's the other thing infuriating, and this infuriates me about a lot of movies, about these low-budget action things.

00:38:33.000 The dumb bitch stylist who probably blew her way into the job just buys new clothes for everyone.

00:38:39.000 Everyone is wearing brand new clothes.

00:38:41.000 These are mercenaries fighting some other terrorist who's going to take down the world.

00:38:46.000 And everyone just got their shirt that afternoon.

00:38:48.000 It's like they live at Walmart.

00:38:51.000 Hey, look at that.

00:38:52.000 It looks so stupid.

00:38:54.000 He looks like a mannequin.

00:38:55.000 Hey, stylist, you should have a warehouse rented with just like go to a second-hand store and buy like 900 dirty dress shirts.

00:39:05.000 Hey, play the whole trailer.

00:39:08.000 I almost paused it and said, we're going to rent this as a movie.

00:39:12.000 Okay, so this guy's called The Pardoner, but the acting is so bad and lazy, and the director, I guess, doesn't speak English.

00:39:18.000 So he forgives everyone who calls him the partner.

00:39:21.000 P-A-R-E-R.

00:39:22.000 Partner.

00:39:23.000 The partner.

00:39:23.000 Partner.

00:39:24.000 You mean the pardoner?

00:39:26.000 And what a stupid name, the pardoner.

00:39:37.000 See, he annoyed me the most.

00:39:39.000 He's the kind of guy who says Saturday Live and the President of the United States.

00:39:43.000 President of the United States, downtown.

00:39:44.000 It almost sounds like he's saying partner, but just weird.

00:39:46.000 Yeah.

00:39:46.000 With like a little skip in there.

00:39:49.000 Last week, partner stole a piece of technology.

00:39:52.000 Partner.

00:39:53.000 This is how we change the world.

00:39:56.000 I need you and your team on this one.

00:39:58.000 Hey.

00:40:00.000 We do my way.

00:40:01.000 Oh, that scene was so cornball.

00:40:04.000 All right.

00:40:05.000 Look at his new sweatshirt and the new t-shirt.

00:40:07.000 And that guy's at a dirty dive bar and he's an ex-marine.

00:40:10.000 Look at his hat.

00:40:12.000 He's owned it for one hour.

00:40:15.000 And he's supposed to be a schlub, right?

00:40:22.000 And she's in the bar too.

00:40:24.000 She goes, I'll get a bottle of beer, please.

00:40:26.000 A bottle?

00:40:26.000 What kind of beer?

00:40:28.000 No one says a beer.

00:40:29.000 Can I get two beers?

00:40:31.000 Okay, we have 37 different types of beers.

00:40:33.000 What the f?

00:40:34.000 What was that?

00:40:36.000 If you want to survive, we're going to have to work.

00:40:39.000 What the f?

00:40:40.000 He's got someone's Zuba pants around his neck.

00:40:44.000 Together.

00:40:45.000 It's got a sarong.

00:40:46.000 Who knew what?

00:40:47.000 Is that the loosest?

00:40:48.000 The loosest turban.

00:40:50.000 This whole movie's in this shitty warehouse.

00:40:52.000 The budget must have been 90% Bruce Willis's salary.

00:41:04.000 He's using my daughter to get to me.

00:41:08.000 You know, you watch a Liam Neeson movie with, I got a very...

00:41:12.000 What does he say?

00:41:13.000 I've got a very particular set of skills.

00:41:15.000 Very particular.

00:41:16.000 My daughter.

00:41:16.000 And you're like, get his fucking daughter.

00:41:18.000 This movie, you're just like, why don't you just kill the bitch and we can all go home?

00:41:22.000 Like, you feel nothing for that.

00:41:24.000 Just go in, my little girl.

00:41:27.000 Let's do this.

00:41:28.000 Hoorah.

00:41:29.000 I never even noticed that.

00:41:30.000 That's their thing.

00:41:31.000 Hoorah.

00:41:33.000 By the way, the guys that they're...

00:41:34.000 So there's four of them.

00:41:35.000 The Pardoners team is, I would say, approximately 200 people.

00:41:41.000 All dead.

00:41:42.000 One by one.

00:41:47.000 I mean, the trailer's too long.

00:41:49.000 And when I say too long, I mean you're all bored watching this trailer.

00:41:52.000 Imagine I watched the entire movie.

00:41:55.000 I can't get over the clothes.

00:41:58.000 How pristine they are.

00:42:02.000 We had one stylist.

00:42:03.000 He was a gay man who did Jaws and many others.

00:42:08.000 And you can't...

00:42:10.000 Like, go back and look at movies like Rosemary's Baby or Oh God.

00:42:15.000 I don't know why I was about to write those down.

00:42:19.000 Or Jaws.

00:42:20.000 And everyone just looks amazing.

00:42:21.000 Like, Anthony Kumia had that Mayor's Blazer made with the little things on it.

00:42:27.000 But dude, look at the trailer for Rosemary's Baby.

00:42:31.000 Like, the clothes that Cassavettes wore were just perfect.

00:42:37.000 If I was to start a clothing line, I would just rip off.

00:42:39.000 I just watch Rosemary's Baby and tell my gay designers just to draw everything they're wearing.

00:42:48.000 And it was so believable, too.

00:42:51.000 Young, new couple, Upper West Side, New York City, 60s.

00:42:55.000 Taxi driver, too.

00:42:56.000 Taxi driver.

00:42:57.000 I just saw that.

00:42:58.000 Fucking amazing outfit.

00:42:59.000 A lot of grit.

00:43:05.000 These 70s trailers, they go on for days.

00:43:07.000 Is this a trailer?

00:43:08.000 They just take a clip.

00:43:11.000 Interesting.

00:43:12.000 Mia Farrell.

00:43:13.000 How did...

00:43:14.000 Why was everyone in love with her?

00:43:15.000 Frank Sinatra made Woody Allen's son with her.

00:43:20.000 Ronan Farrow.

00:43:21.000 Who looks exactly like that?

00:43:24.000 Exactly.

00:43:26.000 Oh, I mean, that and Frank Sinatra.

00:43:29.000 I just blew the story that that's his mother.

00:43:32.000 Of course it's his mother, dumbass.

00:43:36.000 Wait, this trailer sucks.

00:43:38.000 I'm lost.

00:43:41.000 All right.

00:43:41.000 Fuck you.

00:43:42.000 I'm number 60s.

00:43:45.000 No, just go Google image Cassavetes, C-A-S-S, E-V-E-T-E-S, Rosemary's Baby.

00:43:55.000 Satan fucks her in that movie.

00:43:56.000 Satan fucking spreads her wings.

00:43:59.000 Satan fucks her in that movie.

00:44:03.000 Oh, Lord, yeah.

00:44:04.000 Evil child.

00:44:05.000 Look how good Cassavetes looks in this film.

00:44:08.000 Cute little suit.

00:44:10.000 Nice little sweatshirt, champion sweatshirt.

00:44:14.000 You were talking to me about the Harrington.

00:44:15.000 Do you like the Harrington because of the classic people that wore it?

00:44:18.000 Like the Steve McQueen and stuff like that?

00:44:20.000 Yeah, but the Harrington was popular before Steve McQueen put it on.

00:44:23.000 But yeah, he popularized it.

00:44:25.000 But that's a mod coat.

00:44:26.000 Oh, gotcha, gotcha.

00:44:27.000 Look at that blue suit just above.

00:44:30.000 Yeah, that is class.

00:44:31.000 Look at his PJs.

00:44:32.000 I want to fuck him in his PJs with my heels on.

00:44:34.000 I have the same PJs, but blue.

00:44:36.000 I have those same PJs, but care.

00:44:38.000 Yeah.

00:44:39.000 I understand.

00:44:40.000 No, I should have said I have that same care, but don't.

00:44:45.000 All right.

00:44:46.000 That's enough bullshit.

00:44:47.000 Let's get serious here.

00:44:52.000 Oh, by the, real quick, did you ever see this where for Bill and Ted, his daughter says her pronouns before the interview starts?

00:45:03.000 And is here with us today, man.

00:45:05.000 The other half.

00:45:06.000 The other half, man.

00:45:07.000 I mean, another emotional.

00:45:08.000 Give it up to Bridget Lundy Payne, ladies and gentlemen.

00:45:12.000 And just to have something that I use they them pronouns.

00:45:16.000 Is that right?

00:45:17.000 Well done.

00:45:21.000 Just screeching halt.

00:45:23.000 She's the worst bullish shit.

00:45:24.000 She does this herky-jerky thing that is so fucking distracting.

00:45:28.000 Ugh.

00:45:29.000 Bridget Lundy Payne.

00:45:30.000 What a shit name.

00:45:32.000 Also in the news, do you still have this Joe Rogan crying?

00:45:37.000 I might.

00:45:39.000 I might have it clipped.

00:45:41.000 Do you want the full context?

00:45:42.000 Well, first, let's hear that.

00:45:44.000 We have a new video drop.

00:45:46.000 I still like Joe, by the way.

00:45:48.000 Well, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt with banning my interview on Spotify.

00:45:52.000 But the guy's never really crossed me.

00:45:54.000 He's just got a little scared.

00:45:57.000 So in this, he's recounting stories.

00:45:59.000 I would make fun of him this if it was my brother.

00:46:01.000 Yeah.

00:46:01.000 No, this is.

00:46:02.000 So he's talking about Chadwick Boseman dying.

00:46:04.000 What?

00:46:05.000 Oh, wait, that's a different one.

00:46:07.000 Who cares?

00:46:08.000 First, this is the...

00:46:09.000 Oh, this is seeing a couple wins.

00:46:10.000 But the Chadwick Boseman thing, like, what's with all the mourning in the streets?

00:46:13.000 The guy from Avengers and like the Jackie Robinson movie?

00:46:16.000 Were you guys dating?

00:46:18.000 Are you going to be like this when Thanos dies?

00:46:22.000 Who fucking cares?

00:46:24.000 Like, he was in, what, two or three movies?

00:46:27.000 Yeah.

00:46:27.000 It's like...

00:46:28.000 And plus, dying of somebody snapping their fingers a pretty nice way to go.

00:46:32.000 That's a Thanos joke.

00:46:36.000 He was just so incredible.

00:46:39.000 Brilliant happened to you and how you'll grow from them.

00:46:42.000 Just his perspective.

00:46:43.000 He was just such a brilliant guy.

00:46:45.000 It sucks so hard that some assholes live forever.

00:46:51.000 Never heard that one before.

00:46:53.000 Cool people die young, and he was one of them.

00:46:57.000 I put on Instagram.

00:47:00.000 I put on my Instagram a video of him doing the Wing Chung, you know, getting ready for the Black Panther movie.

00:47:08.000 Those headphones have got to go.

00:47:10.000 Oh, yeah, they still forbid you to wear them.

00:47:12.000 I use mine low profile.

00:47:13.000 It looks like earrings from the movie The Fifth Element.

00:47:17.000 Great.

00:47:17.000 All right, That's hard to argue.

00:47:20.000 A person that it was inspirational for so many.

00:47:24.000 Have you ever seen that video where the Avengers movie?

00:47:28.000 I'll really tear up if I talk about this.

00:47:31.000 You mean the superhero movie for little kids?

00:47:34.000 Do you cry when you watch Superman too?

00:47:36.000 Did you see the movie where Lois Lane is her car stuck in a crack in the earth and Superman going in the reverse direction to try to reverse trying to bring Lois back?

00:47:47.000 And then fucking Lex Luthor has to show up.

00:47:53.000 When Spider-Man gets knocked off that bridge by the goblin and you're not sure if he's going to pick it.

00:48:03.000 I know this isn't what you want and I'm sorry.

00:48:08.000 And when in the Avengers movie, when there is a video that someone took from the audience where they see him show up on screen and the whole audience goes crazy.

00:48:21.000 Have you seen that?

00:48:22.000 Yeah, I have.

00:48:23.000 It's amazing.

00:48:24.000 It's amazing.

00:48:26.000 Like, that movie.

00:48:28.000 It is a moving scene.

00:48:28.000 It is amazing.

00:48:30.000 I was there in the theater with my kids and I was amazed at how embarrassing it was to hear adults cheer at a fucking movie like a movie can hear you.

00:48:38.000 Yay!

00:48:38.000 Good work, Screen.

00:48:40.000 It was so, and it wasn't just Black Panther.

00:48:44.000 It was a bunch of people.

00:48:45.000 Yeah, they show up and save the damn day.

00:48:48.000 By the way, they're building a Wakanda.

00:48:50.000 Did you know that?

00:48:51.000 Acon's building it, isn't he?

00:48:53.000 Really?

00:48:53.000 Akon City?

00:48:56.000 Black Hammer, I think it's called.

00:48:58.000 2-4.

00:48:58.000 That might be a different one.

00:49:00.000 They're just making Black City.

00:49:01.000 We have a whole montage of Joe Rogan crying, but you get the idea.

00:49:05.000 Hammer City.

00:49:06.000 I think that was a Nazi skinhead gang.

00:49:08.000 Hammer City skins.

00:49:10.000 But okay.

00:49:11.000 You build Hammer City.

00:49:13.000 Let's see it.

00:49:18.000 So it's like these domes?

00:49:21.000 See, this is what I...

00:49:22.000 Didn't I promise you this?

00:49:23.000 What did I say when all this shit started?

00:49:25.000 Not the COVID, but the riots?

00:49:27.000 I said, America is drifting into a state of silent apartheid where both sides, black and white, voluntarily segregate.

00:49:35.000 Where are you getting this little knobby in big ears fucking my little pony homes?

00:49:39.000 Who's making these?

00:49:40.000 Yeah, Dr. Seuss?

00:49:42.000 Like, who's paying for that?

00:49:44.000 You could probably, a billionaire could probably make that for a friend somewhere in Arkansas, but it's still going to be like a million bucks.

00:49:51.000 Did Horton.

00:49:51.000 That's not cheap.

00:49:52.000 Did the studio who makes Dr. Seuss, Horton, Here's a Who just give up their set?

00:49:56.000 They're just like, you could have these props.

00:49:58.000 Decolonize people.

00:49:59.000 No, Acon's making one too.

00:50:01.000 Oh, really?

00:50:02.000 Yeah, let me see.

00:50:03.000 Acon City 2020.

00:50:04.000 He wants a freaking futuristic Wakanda.

00:50:08.000 It actually looks more like Wakanda.

00:50:10.000 By the way, I don't know if anyone saw the movie.

00:50:12.000 Wakanda sucks.

00:50:14.000 They have a substance that can be anything.

00:50:16.000 It's a magic substance like vibranium, whatever, and you can use it for fuel.

00:50:21.000 They still have dirt streets.

00:50:23.000 Downtown Wakanda is a shithole.

00:50:27.000 And that's with free magic stuff.

00:50:29.000 It looks worse than Zurich.

00:50:31.000 And what does Zurich have?

00:50:33.000 An ability to do banking and make watches?

00:50:36.000 So Zurich has no magic shit, and their city looks nicer than your mud huts in Wakanda.

00:50:43.000 I don't think it's anything to be proud of.

00:50:47.000 Hammerskin Nation is the Hammerskins, yeah.

00:50:52.000 But yeah, Acon reveals $6 billion futuristic Single East City inspired by Wakanda from Black Panther.

00:50:58.000 What a, what?

00:51:03.000 Is that a dildo?

00:51:04.000 Who's paying for this?

00:51:07.000 Can you live in that?

00:51:08.000 I bet that thing's in Senegal.

00:51:09.000 I bet you touch it and your hand burns off.

00:51:12.000 It's approximately 1,000 degrees inside.

00:51:15.000 So the air conditioning uses up 100% of their city's fuel.

00:51:20.000 Sure, that looks cool, but why is Candace Owens at the top?

00:51:23.000 Oh, because Cardi B was.

00:51:25.000 Oh, yeah, we got that story.

00:51:27.000 By the way, before we abandon this first thing, so we've got Akon's Wakanda.

00:51:32.000 We have Hammer City Wakanda.

00:51:35.000 And we had those Georgians who bought like 1,700 acres the other day.

00:51:39.000 This has all been tried.

00:51:41.000 It was called Liberia.

00:51:43.000 The Garveyists in Liberia, American freed slaves, following the Marcus Garveyisms of go back to Africa, go back to the mainland.

00:51:53.000 Same mantras of KKK.

00:51:56.000 They said, okay, we will.

00:51:57.000 They went back to Africa.

00:51:59.000 They created Liberia.

00:52:01.000 It was eventually recognized as an independent country, I think, during the Civil War.

00:52:06.000 But these colonists didn't get along with the Indians, the native black tribesmen, because as they started to settle, the tribesmen would come, rape all their women, steal all their shit.

00:52:17.000 So they started killing them all.

00:52:20.000 Isn't it amazing?

00:52:21.000 No one ever talks about this.

00:52:22.000 This is a problem with education.

00:52:24.000 My kids will never hear this story.

00:52:26.000 So they murdered the Indians, and I shouldn't say Indians, the indigenous people, and then they set up an apartheid where the indigenous people couldn't be part of their society.

00:52:35.000 So that implies that the only way to survive in Africa is to build a wall.

00:52:39.000 Assimilation with the indigenous people apparently is impossible.

00:52:43.000 So Liberia becomes this fascist dictatorship run by freed American blacks.

00:52:51.000 And then they become the elites of this place.

00:52:54.000 They still are to this day.

00:52:55.000 The ancestors of the freed American blacks who live there are the ruling classes.

00:52:59.000 But of course, corruption permeates this, and a massive civil war breaks out.

00:53:04.000 And today, it's still a war-torn shithole of conflict and hatred.

00:53:10.000 It doesn't look dissimilar to this.

00:53:16.000 Oh, those are all bullet shells.

00:53:18.000 Oh, my God.

00:53:19.000 Holy shit.

00:53:22.000 I think we're getting a future look at Hammer City or Aconda.

00:53:30.000 I had a friend that English is a national language because it's from three place, but I really hear their accent.

00:53:58.000 That's another thing no one talks about with all this multiculturalism.

00:54:01.000 Did you know that eating hearts is common across the turd world?

00:54:06.000 Like, not just Africa, the Middle East.

00:54:07.000 We would find these our guys, our Marines, with holes in their chest.

00:54:11.000 Because they go, wow, this guy's so brave, I got to get some of that bravery out of his heart.

00:54:15.000 Which I'm sure we did a thousand years ago.

00:54:18.000 If you try eating the brain then, you dummies.

00:54:23.000 What's the Candace Owens Cardi B thing?

00:54:27.000 They're having a squabble.

00:54:29.000 It's a beef.

00:54:31.000 They got beef.

00:54:35.000 This is from Censor Doc.

00:54:36.000 Candice Owens humiliates illiterate Cardi B in social media squabble.

00:54:42.000 I noticed she kept spelling Candace's name wrong.

00:54:46.000 Say Kanye West.

00:54:47.000 He's never really written about go out, grab a gat, and just kill people.

00:54:50.000 But unfortunately, today, that's the majority of what rap has become, right?

00:54:54.000 And so, and I completely agree with your assessment about Cardi B. It is one of the biggest insults.

00:54:59.000 If black Americans are not insulted by the fact that Joe Biden, who has been hiding in his basement for the entire year, made an appearance and came up because he was going to do an interview with Cardi B, do we have nothing better to offer?

00:55:10.000 I mean, this would be akin to Donald Trump saying, I'm going to give no interviews, but he came up and he decided to give an interview to Justin Bieber, right?

00:55:17.000 I mean, M ⁇ M or Machine Gun Kelly.

00:55:20.000 You're a Christian man.

00:55:20.000 I don't even want to put you in the same boat as Cardi B. But it would be absurd.

00:55:24.000 White American would go, what is this?

00:55:26.000 Why are you being interviewed by Justin Bieber?

00:55:28.000 And it's because you're pandering, right?

00:55:29.000 You're pandering.

00:55:30.000 You look at Cardi B's Instagram, you see she has millions of followers, and you think, okay, this is an illiterate person.

00:55:35.000 And if I appeal to this illiterate person and she does, oh, like she literally did in the middle of this interview, and they think she's cool.

00:55:45.000 But what does it mean?

00:55:46.000 You know, it's like that thing that Shakira did where it's like, but without like a cultural background.

00:55:50.000 No, that Shakira thing has a whole cultural background.

00:55:53.000 Exactly.

00:55:53.000 But no, this is just a sound, maybe borderline Tourette's.

00:55:57.000 Okay, let's, so we get what Candace is saying to Squeaky Ben, Stuart Little.

00:56:02.000 Fuck out of you.

00:56:03.000 Move your vehicle out of me.

00:56:04.000 Move the fuck out of my face.

00:56:05.000 Okay.

00:56:06.000 Don't ever come to a female pressing her while I'm not here.

00:56:10.000 I don't give a fuck.

00:56:11.000 Get the fuck out of my car.

00:56:13.000 Get the fuck out of my car.

00:56:14.000 Cause I'll pay my fucking taxes.

00:56:16.000 We're going on.

00:56:16.000 Got the fuck up.

00:56:17.000 So this is...

00:56:19.000 Get the fuck out of my face.

00:56:20.000 You ain't my vehicle.

00:56:21.000 Get the fuck out of here.

00:56:21.000 This is update.

00:56:24.000 Why Joe has to talk to me?

00:56:25.000 Because I have the number one song.

00:56:26.000 Yet, my sister can't go to the beach without getting Trump supporters in the shop.

00:56:29.000 Cardi, I'm going to wait and hear the whole story with your sister on the beach.

00:56:33.000 She seems a little rough to deal with.

00:56:36.000 Those guys seem pretty calm.

00:56:38.000 I have a feeling that you did something fucked up.

00:56:43.000 Wait, what's this now?

00:56:47.000 I want to see her reaction.

00:56:50.000 Sorry, folks, we should have this ready.

00:56:52.000 What if you go to the censored...

00:56:53.000 I highly recommend, folks, when you wake up, you go to censored.tv.

00:56:57.000 Oh, that's that's reaction.

00:56:59.000 Is that where we are?

00:57:00.000 Uh, this is censored.tv.

00:57:01.000 Yeah, so it should have the Cardi B quotes there, too.

00:57:07.000 Wait, what are you doing, dude?

00:57:10.000 Uh, the Cardi B made a video?

00:57:14.000 No, but she commented on this.

00:57:19.000 Oh boy, I'm getting mad.

00:57:21.000 What are you doing?

00:57:21.000 Reading it.

00:57:22.000 Why are you reading it?

00:57:24.000 Well, because she wrote the so the response was that, that her sister couldn't go.

00:57:28.000 That's right.

00:57:28.000 No, she also talked about Candace Owens being a bitch and fuck you.

00:57:33.000 We might have to leave.

00:57:33.000 Yeah, look up Candace B and Cardi.

00:57:36.000 I mean, Candace B and Cardi.

00:57:38.000 Candace B. Did you see the Instagram thing?

00:57:41.000 Yeah, look at 2.6.

00:57:41.000 It's in the fucking notes, shithead.

00:57:44.000 I don't know.

00:57:46.000 I assumed you couldn't find it because you had already checked the notes.

00:57:53.000 It is one of the biggest insults.

00:57:55.000 And encourage people to, right?

00:57:57.000 I know you're a Christian man.

00:57:58.000 I don't want to put you in the same boat as Cardi B. But it would be absurd.

00:58:02.000 White America would go, what is this?

00:58:03.000 Why are you being interviewed by Justin Bieber?

00:58:06.000 And it's because you're pandering, right?

00:58:07.000 You're pandering.

00:58:08.000 You look at Cardi B's Instagram, you see she has millions of followers, and you think, okay, this is an illiterate person.

00:58:13.000 And if I appeal to this illiterate person and she does, oh, like she literally did in the middle of this interview.

00:58:19.000 I got to go to jail.

00:58:21.000 You got to go to jail too.

00:58:25.000 But I'm going to give Demons a response today.

00:58:28.000 I'm going to give a double response today.

00:58:30.000 So let me tell you something, right?

00:58:33.000 It's not a secret that I use my platform for people to vote.

00:58:40.000 I love politics.

00:58:42.000 I endorse the Democratic Party.

00:58:46.000 Everybody knows I don't really fuck with you like that.

00:58:50.000 We know you endorsed the Democratic Party, Cardi B, but you're not a reliable source.

00:58:56.000 The fact that people are coming to you is embarrassing.

00:58:59.000 You got on your Instagram and talked about how y'all getting your pH balance fucked up because you suck those nasty dicks with your bad breath and your bacon and cheese, and then he stick it in your wet pussy or your dry ass pussy.

00:59:15.000 Then you got all that bacon up inside your shit.

00:59:18.000 That's right.

00:59:18.000 So we're not really, you can, nope, we're free speech.

00:59:22.000 We want you to be able to say that, but the president of the United States should not be consulting you.

00:59:29.000 I don't see this because, you know, y'all don't be paying attention.

00:59:32.000 But I get harassed by Trump supporters so much.

00:59:37.000 And there are some Trump supporters that are like celebrity Trump supporters.

00:59:42.000 Like that they just have like a huge platform.

00:59:46.000 And they be coming for me every single day.

00:59:50.000 They be degrading me.

00:59:51.000 They be making fun of me.

00:59:53.000 Everything.

00:59:53.000 Degrade yourself.

00:59:55.000 Only time I never, that I be going hard.

00:59:57.000 Let me tell you something.

00:59:58.000 She gets so intense.

01:00:00.000 Is that her pussy?

01:00:01.000 That a Trump supporter posted my address and encouraged people to box my home to fire my to put my house on fire.

01:00:10.000 I to literally put my house on fire and serve them with a warrant and arrest this boy.

01:00:17.000 Mind you, this boy was a fucking teenager.

01:00:20.000 His parents were fucking shook.

01:00:22.000 Is this all this is like 16 minutes?

01:00:25.000 You know what?

01:00:25.000 I'm the number one Joe Biden to have fucking free American supporting children.

01:00:29.000 I've had enough of race shit.

01:00:32.000 oh, this Candace responded, though.

01:00:35.000 I don't know if we want to Biden because I was not, I'm sure Ben Shapiro was not.

01:00:41.000 We were not meaning to attack you, we're just simply telling the truth, which is the fact that Joe Biden did not spend the whole year in his basement to come up because he's a big Cardi B fan and sit down with you.

01:00:52.000 He thinks you're an idiot.

01:00:53.000 And, you know, I just am encouraging you to stop proving him right when you say ridiculous things like, I had to sit down with Joe Biden because my sister got attacked by a Trump supporter, Santa Claus, making it seem like Trump supporters are homophobic.

01:01:08.000 A little education for you, Cardi B. Donald J. Trump is the first president that's ever gone into office in support of gay marriage.

01:01:15.000 So, you know, those eight years that your presidential candidate, Joe Biden, spent as a vice president with Obama?

01:01:21.000 They didn't support gay marriage going into office.

01:01:23.000 Obama changed his tune on gay marriage in his second term.

01:01:27.000 So the whole idea of Trump being a homophobe is a bit pointedly ridiculous and shows how uneducated you are.

01:01:33.000 Then you came and you...

01:01:34.000 That's enough.

01:01:35.000 That's enough.

01:01:35.000 It's also a little bit high school.

01:01:38.000 You know, that thing girls do in high school where they've learned to say, you're a fucking bitch.

01:01:42.000 That shows that you care.

01:01:43.000 So what they do now is they go, I actually feel sorry for her.

01:01:47.000 Oh.

01:01:48.000 So it's like, we didn't mean to insult you.

01:01:51.000 There was not our intention to hurt you.

01:01:52.000 We just, that person thinks you're an idiot and kind of a loser.

01:01:56.000 And you keep proving him right.

01:01:57.000 So you're actually being a huge loser.

01:02:00.000 I'm sorry.

01:02:03.000 Ryan Long has been on the show a few times as far as us looking at him.

01:02:07.000 I've never met him before, but we've had his videos on the show.

01:02:11.000 Now, before we show some highlights, just to remind you who he is, I don't know if you know this, that he's big in Canada.

01:02:19.000 He was with the CBC at a show called Torontopia, another show called That Guy.

01:02:25.000 He had another show.

01:02:26.000 He had several hit shows.

01:02:27.000 Ryan Long is Challenged.

01:02:29.000 He had a successful band called the Johnstowns.

01:02:33.000 He's a part owner of HardTimes.net and did videos for them.

01:02:39.000 He's been around.

01:02:40.000 Like, I think most of us, including me, first saw him and thought, oh, he's just a guy that did some viral videos that caught on.

01:02:47.000 But no, he's been doing shit for a long time and been getting very good at it, if you will.

01:02:53.000 And being good at it, if you will.

01:02:55.000 Record-breaking.

01:02:57.000 But let's look at some of our favorite videos to remind you of how much we love them.

01:03:02.000 So, of course, this is the hit.

01:03:04.000 It's got 2 million views now.

01:03:07.000 Everything should be looked at through the lens of race.

01:03:09.000 Shins, you owe me a Coke.

01:03:10.000 We both have a lot of opinions about people of color, even though we barely know any.

01:03:14.000 I say colored people, but there's long-term colours.

01:03:15.000 It's kind of what my hair does if I don't use black people.

01:03:22.000 Sorry, I don't know.

01:03:22.000 I just think we should roll back discrimination law so we can hire base on race again.

01:03:25.000 Shins, now you owe me a Coke.

01:03:27.000 Hey, tell them what you told me yesterday.

01:03:28.000 White actors.

01:03:29.000 That's one of the reasons why this has 2 million views now in retrospect.

01:03:32.000 You realize, oh, the guy's tons of TV experience, and he's figured out how jokes work.

01:03:38.000 And you're not seeing some rookie trying to do a funny video.

01:03:41.000 You can tell by the structure that thought goes into the...

01:03:44.000 I'm ruining jokes.

01:03:45.000 I hate analyzing comedy.

01:03:46.000 Sorry.

01:03:48.000 This is fired from Vice.

01:03:49.000 Ryan, by the way, said, you know, that guy used to work for Vice?

01:03:53.000 This is how Ryan gets to work for Vice.

01:03:59.000 I take responsibility for falling for the fact that somebody said he worked for Vice.

01:04:03.000 So I take full responsibility.

01:04:05.000 But you were familiar with this video.

01:04:07.000 Yeah.

01:04:08.000 But I was...

01:04:08.000 How did you be familiar with this video and think he worked at Vice?

01:04:11.000 Well, because maybe it's like both, both, it's not mutually exclusive.

01:04:15.000 Yes, it is.

01:04:15.000 So somebody.

01:04:16.000 Yes, it is.

01:04:17.000 There's no way someone who actually worked at Vice would make this video.

01:04:21.000 It's a fuck you to your boss.

01:04:23.000 It's former judge.

01:04:24.000 Yeah, I don't know.

01:04:26.000 I take full responsibility that I fell for this.

01:04:29.000 Ryan, but this is your problem.

01:04:30.000 You can't process information.

01:04:32.000 No one who worked at Vice would do a video like this.

01:04:36.000 That's all.

01:04:37.000 I know that's like me pushing a rock down your throat.

01:04:40.000 Because they're not capable of.

01:04:42.000 No, they just wouldn't do that.

01:04:45.000 That's like someone leaving Fox and doing a huge parody video and all the typical things Fox would do.

01:04:52.000 Good point.

01:04:54.000 Of course it's a good point.

01:04:55.000 Your dick.

01:04:56.000 Yes.

01:04:57.000 Go back to the beginning.

01:05:20.000 And then I find out via email that I'm being let go because my articles aren't generated.

01:05:25.000 Hi, New York Times.

01:05:29.000 Thousands of articles that are never going to see the light of day.

01:05:32.000 No, I know you told me to stop calling, but I had an idea for a new article about canceling the Easter bunny.

01:05:36.000 Articles like 10 dildos are better than one, and your boyfriend's racist if he won't sit on them.

01:05:40.000 Lesbians should become trans men because most of them don't even have to change anything.

01:05:43.000 My boomer dad isn't even gay.

01:05:45.000 You know, journalism is supposed to be about normalizing weird shit, removing people's accountability, and most importantly, writing the same article over and over again.

01:05:52.000 Why this 27-year-old barista is drinking piss to combat Islamophobia?

01:05:56.000 I had plans to write an article about how women are better at football, women are better at fathering, and women have nicer hogs than men.

01:06:01.000 Fight the patriarchy by having sex with an entire bar.

01:06:04.000 My fucking glasses just rang.

01:06:06.000 I got this, I got all that drunk guy stuff.

01:06:09.000 Look, you see that little chip there?

01:06:11.000 And now it's randomly ringing.

01:06:14.000 That's not good.

01:06:14.000 How do I fix that?

01:06:16.000 Separation alarm off.

01:06:18.000 Oh, there you go.

01:06:19.000 If it's too far away from me.

01:06:20.000 It was not far.

01:06:21.000 No, it's not far at all.

01:06:23.000 Okay, let's hope that works.

01:06:27.000 I mean, the app wasn't even on.

01:06:30.000 Boy, that's embarrassing.

01:06:31.000 That's like my I've fallen and I can't get up alarm going on.

01:06:35.000 Okay, last one.

01:06:37.000 This is our favorite one.

01:06:38.000 Tittays.

01:06:39.000 Remember this?

01:06:41.000 When these women were so impressed with themselves because they thought they caught us in the act doing our tit stuff.

01:06:48.000 Who do you think has a nicer set of jugs?

01:06:50.000 Elizabeth Warren or Kamara Harris?

01:06:52.000 Oh, you mean Kamala Harris, the mayor chick?

01:06:55.000 Yeah, the mayor chick or whatever.

01:06:56.000 She has like titties, two of them.

01:06:58.000 And then the other one also has a couple.

01:07:00.000 I'll go with the white chick.

01:07:02.000 You go with the white titties?

01:07:03.000 I don't care for the.

01:07:04.000 Why is it that you take the white gazumbas over the black today?

01:07:09.000 Her ideology is not breastlight at all.

01:07:13.000 I actually thought I entered a time warp and went back 100 years because I could not believe something.

01:07:19.000 Somehow they think that their camera is somehow shattering the world.

01:07:22.000 Meanwhile, someone's filming Ryan.

01:07:25.000 Caught you on tape.

01:07:26.000 Remember they did that too as in DC?

01:07:27.000 We were filming an interview and they come up like this.

01:07:30.000 Right.

01:07:30.000 Got you.

01:07:32.000 Yeah.

01:07:34.000 You may want to check censored dudes.

01:07:35.000 You're bootlegging our material is what you're doing.

01:07:38.000 All right, let's talk to the better Ryan of the two.

01:07:41.000 Oh, man.

01:07:41.000 Ryan Long.

01:07:47.000 Ryan, are you there, sir?

01:07:49.000 Ryan Long and the place to be.

01:07:51.000 Ryan, are you a big tit man or an ass man?

01:07:55.000 Sorry, I think.

01:07:57.000 Stop.

01:07:58.000 That's not the correct way to phrase the question.

01:08:00.000 Are you a titman or an ass man?

01:08:04.000 I pronounce it the Jewish pronunciation, which is assman.

01:08:07.000 But I would like to say that I think that I subscribe to the idea, the philosophy, the ancient Chinese philosophy, that big tits are overrated and tits are for kids.

01:08:21.000 So it's not necessarily to say that I'm an ass man over a titty man, but it does say that a big pile of gazumbas are nice, fun once or twice.

01:08:29.000 But if your girlfriend's got like a big set of like triple Zs, I think by day five, you're like, get me some tiny mosquito bites because I'm over this.

01:08:38.000 Yeah.

01:08:38.000 And you'll notice that ass men say that about titmen.

01:08:41.000 I'm an ass man, but we always call titmen gays and say you have some latent breastfeeding problem and blah, blah, blah.

01:08:48.000 And then titmen say the same thing about us.

01:08:51.000 They go, oh, you love an ass.

01:08:52.000 You're a homo.

01:08:53.000 You know, boys have asses.

01:08:55.000 What's the matter with tits?

01:08:56.000 They're the most feminine thing in the world.

01:08:58.000 You're a queer.

01:08:59.000 Yeah, I love the idea of that to be gay.

01:09:01.000 Yo, this guy likes tits.

01:09:02.000 We're fucking gay.

01:09:04.000 This guy was hanging up with his girlfriend all day, fucking fag.

01:09:07.000 You should be with dudes.

01:09:09.000 Yeah, he thinks it's a dude's ass.

01:09:14.000 I like big tits when they're around.

01:09:16.000 Not that I get any big tits, but I remember back in my single days, it wasn't so much what you do with them because there's not much you can do.

01:09:24.000 Like, what are you going to do?

01:09:25.000 Lick them?

01:09:25.000 Like, no girl says, oh, my God, I suck my tits.

01:09:27.000 If they're saggy enough, you can tie them up.

01:09:29.000 Yeah, that's a fun, fun little trick that some people do.

01:09:32.000 Do your tits hang low?

01:09:34.000 Do they wobble to and fro?

01:09:35.000 Can you tie them in a knot?

01:09:36.000 Can you tie them in a bow?

01:09:37.000 Can you throw them over your shoulder like an over-the-shoulder boulder holder?

01:09:40.000 Do your tits hang low?

01:09:43.000 Yes.

01:09:43.000 But visually, if a girl has fairly big bazooms and you're having intercourse and they start going in concentric circles, I can really add an element to it that's fun.

01:09:52.000 Yeah, it can hypnotize you into thinking that your girlfriend's actually hot.

01:09:56.000 So there's like a lot, there's a lot of benefit.

01:09:58.000 She just notices.

01:10:00.000 She notices that you zone out and then she goes, what's your pin?

01:10:04.000 4417.

01:10:07.000 Get off me.

01:10:11.000 You will have me moving by day three.

01:10:15.000 We're friends now.

01:10:16.000 Give me keys.

01:10:18.000 When was the last time you had intercourse?

01:10:21.000 I'm going to stop you right there because I'm not done with this conversation.

01:10:24.000 The asses have been very, very in vogue lately, which almost the counterculture element of me makes me sort of want to back off of them.

01:10:33.000 Like, you see everything is like this big ass fat asses.

01:10:36.000 And I'm like, well, I guess asses are out.

01:10:39.000 I can't go with the flow.

01:10:41.000 Yeah, I can't be in my body part to, yeah, that's my specific thing.

01:10:45.000 Potentially become a neck roll man, perhaps.

01:10:49.000 It's like when Hoosker Doo put out Flip Your Wig and you just went, oh, okay, you're CBS records now or whatever.

01:10:56.000 Yes.

01:10:57.000 You're making it.

01:10:57.000 It's exactly like that.

01:10:58.000 How girls made sex not cool over the last five years.

01:11:02.000 I was watching this thing yesterday and it was this woman.

01:11:06.000 It was like, you know, she's in her 40s and she made these vagina cookies, right?

01:11:09.000 They're like cookies with vaginas and blah, blah, blah.

01:11:11.000 And it's just like, yeah, it's this big, big empowering thing, right?

01:11:14.000 And I'm like, to me, I'm like, that would have been a funny thing for like a high school kid to like make like tit cookies for his like, you know, bakery at his school and get in trouble.

01:11:23.000 And now it's like empowering where you're like, well, I guess vagina cookies aren't fun anymore.

01:11:27.000 And you think about like in a normal man's sex life, you don't really like see a vagina.

01:11:33.000 You know, you feel around, you dink in it.

01:11:37.000 Even when you go down on a girl, it's not like you're seeing it.

01:11:41.000 But when they go on these women's marches, we see the labium majoris, we see the P-hole, we see the foam clitoris, and then these big coarse hairs sticking out.

01:11:50.000 And you're like, oh, I guess that's exactly what it looks like.

01:11:54.000 Thanks for ruining the orchid.

01:11:56.000 It used to be in the back of my head.

01:11:58.000 I've actually took a page out of their book and I stopped wiping my ass for men's rights.

01:12:02.000 So there's a, you know, you want to play in their ballpark.

01:12:05.000 That's how you want to do it.

01:12:06.000 It's itchy empowerment.

01:12:08.000 Just to get back to the asses for a second, I think it's a black thing because in the 80s, it was like white and white chicks and you had the sort of, they didn't have an ass.

01:12:19.000 Like all those sort of hot dog and all those 80s movies with the sort of ZZ top vibe and the blonde girls and the t-shirt contest and all that.

01:12:27.000 When they would turn backwards, you would just see like zoop.

01:12:31.000 And then we had I like big butts that I cannot lie right up to It's all about the bass, no trouble, and Kim Kardashian dating black dudes.

01:12:38.000 And now like my favorite song was Dude's Butts.

01:12:41.000 So I don't know if you heard that one, but.

01:12:43.000 No, Dude's Butts?

01:12:45.000 Yeah.

01:12:47.000 It was by the village people.

01:12:48.000 I don't know, whatever.

01:12:48.000 It's one of their B-sides.

01:12:49.000 I'm a big fan long time.

01:12:52.000 Do you remember that song, You Want to Fuck Me My Butt?

01:12:54.000 In My Butt?

01:12:56.000 Remember that guy?

01:12:56.000 What, what, in the butt?

01:12:57.000 What, what, in the butt?

01:12:59.000 Is that right, said Fred?

01:13:00.000 No, it's the exaggerated black version of him.

01:13:03.000 But yeah, I think that black culture is changed.

01:13:06.000 Because black people have, black women have bigger butts.

01:13:08.000 That's just a fact you can't deny.

01:13:10.000 Yeah, and Latino community.

01:13:12.000 Yeah, I don't know if we're allowed to.

01:13:14.000 Although my ex-girlfriend was she was Venezuelan, tiny butt.

01:13:19.000 Oh, really?

01:13:20.000 Yeah, that's because she was starving to death.

01:13:23.000 Yeah.

01:13:25.000 That's what happens when she's making food.

01:13:27.000 Yeah, we do starve to death.

01:13:32.000 So, like America, you're an ass man, but I think I'm ready with you to just give up on asses because they become too mainstream.

01:13:38.000 It's too trendy.

01:13:39.000 Yeah, you know what?

01:13:40.000 There is a cautionary positive tale here, a reverse cautionary tale, in that, you know how there's a big movement to be like, you know, these girls are hot right now.

01:13:51.000 Look at this 400-pound girl.

01:13:53.000 She's beautiful.

01:13:53.000 And everyone's like, no, she's not.

01:13:55.000 So they could take a page from the black community because they know how to make something cool.

01:13:59.000 There was a lot of girls with these big asses, and that wasn't in vogue at the time.

01:14:02.000 And they were like, you know what?

01:14:04.000 This is actually cool.

01:14:05.000 And they pulled it off where an entire generation is like, yeah, yeah, big ass is hot now.

01:14:09.000 So there is a way to do it if you do it right.

01:14:12.000 Like you make it hot, you know, you put some butter on those.

01:14:14.000 You get it, you get the right photos out there.

01:14:16.000 And everyone was like, you know what?

01:14:17.000 I'm in.

01:14:18.000 That's the new look.

01:14:19.000 Yeah, you're right.

01:14:20.000 But the key is degrees.

01:14:23.000 Like, yes, we can take a flat 80s ass and we can make it into maybe like two bowling balls, maybe.

01:14:29.000 But you have to pay your waist tax.

01:14:32.000 And with Lizzo, she's just got this huge, shitty hippo ass that's got no form to it.

01:14:37.000 And then she has that gunt that hangs over.

01:14:39.000 So if she was wearing a belt, you wouldn't see the belt at all.

01:14:42.000 That's, no, I can't do that.

01:14:44.000 You bent it and it broke.

01:14:47.000 You know what, though?

01:14:48.000 I know you're saying that.

01:14:49.000 And I hate to be this guy to like be fact-checking or whatever, but I looked into it and that's actually just Martin Lawrence in a fat suit.

01:14:57.000 Well, if it's a fat suit, why didn't they make the ass half decent?

01:15:01.000 It looks like a belly.

01:15:03.000 Yeah, no, it's COVID.

01:15:04.000 It's hard to get the right materials.

01:15:05.000 So they would love to have gone to Abracadabra, the number one costume store, but they had to string it together with materials they found at the local bodega.

01:15:15.000 So it didn't end up being the suit that it could have been.

01:15:20.000 Yeah, the lineup was insane.

01:15:21.000 I was there the other day.

01:15:24.000 All right, last question, Ryan.

01:15:25.000 I did that, talked about it in my last video, but that there was an entire genre of film that was black fat suit movies.

01:15:34.000 Yeah.

01:15:35.000 Yeah, there was the nutty professor, the clumps.

01:15:39.000 Yeah.

01:15:40.000 I think Eddie Murphy did it.

01:15:41.000 I'm all the Tyler Perrys.

01:15:42.000 Like, if you go into a thing, they were like, you know, are we talking comedy, drama, fatsuit?

01:15:48.000 Like, it was, it was one of the, there was like a department of Universal that was just making fatsuit movies.

01:15:53.000 Yeah.

01:15:53.000 Even there was even drama comedy.

01:15:56.000 Like Shallow Howl was a comedy, but you're still supposed to cry at how much they love each other.

01:16:02.000 Yeah.

01:16:03.000 Last question.

01:16:03.000 Are there any deal breakers for tits?

01:16:05.000 Like, I find when they're just sort of like...

01:16:08.000 Yeah, not enough meat in them.

01:16:09.000 Yeah.

01:16:09.000 Well, you want the ones that like, you know, I mean, bodies that unpack bad are bad in general.

01:16:14.000 That is the problem you get into because you're taking that gamble.

01:16:16.000 When you see like a big set of titties and a big ass, you go, okay, I'm listening.

01:16:20.000 But, you know, you're like, how's this going to unpack?

01:16:23.000 And that is a big question.

01:16:25.000 And sometimes it unpacks where you don't have enough meat in there.

01:16:28.000 And that's the problem.

01:16:29.000 You know, so that's probably the least desirable titty where it just looks like the, you know, the nickels in a tube sock.

01:16:36.000 Yeah.

01:16:36.000 Well, there's two types of meatless patties.

01:16:39.000 There's one that's just like a lemon that's in a brown nylon and she could put her tits in her pockets if she wants.

01:16:45.000 And then there's the other ones where it's like someone went in there with an X-Acto knife, took out all the meat and just left just a tit skin.

01:16:53.000 Yeah.

01:16:54.000 And that always does a number on the nipples, dude.

01:16:56.000 They never look good when you're dealing with that kind of situation.

01:16:59.000 I mean, you know, you wouldn't want that situation the other way around where you had a guy that had gigantic balls the size of bowling balls and then they just removed them and left the skin, you know, got a ball reduction.

01:17:10.000 Yeah, well, that's what those steroid guys are, too.

01:17:12.000 They have little peas.

01:17:14.000 Yeah, it looks like a cake on her face.

01:17:16.000 I think both of those are a deal breaker.

01:17:18.000 The meatless patties much more than the ones that droop.

01:17:22.000 But as far as droop goes, I think it comes down to a matter of degrees.

01:17:27.000 And I can do...

01:17:28.000 I mean, it usually comes down to pencils, right?

01:17:31.000 I think I'm willing to do like how many pencils could you put under.

01:17:35.000 I'm easily happy with four pencils.

01:17:38.000 I think I could go to eight pencils.

01:17:43.000 Yeah, I mean, small tits drooping is a different game altogether than big tits drooping.

01:17:47.000 Like when you have a big tit, you know that droop's part of the game.

01:17:49.000 If you're a big tit man, you go, listen, I'm going to deal with some droop.

01:17:52.000 That's something I signed up for and I'm living that life.

01:17:55.000 But when someone shows up with small tits and you pop them off and they're drooping, you feel like you've been duped.

01:17:59.000 You feel like you've been had.

01:18:01.000 And that's something that's a deal breaker particularly interested in.

01:18:05.000 It's a deal breaker.

01:18:06.000 I like what the long ones do.

01:18:08.000 You're taking off her bra.

01:18:09.000 If it has a back clasp, you're taking off her bra and the tits are following you and you're like, you guys stay home.

01:18:16.000 It's like a dog following you to work.

01:18:18.000 No, no, no, no.

01:18:19.000 You stay home.

01:18:20.000 No, no, no.

01:18:20.000 And they just keep coming until they finally leave home like at her waist and you go.

01:18:26.000 Well, what you can do, and again, it depends on how much time you have, but if you want to, you can actually use some scotch tape to tape them back up and just do like sort of a roll around her office space style.

01:18:38.000 And that will, at least while you're having sex with them, you can enjoy what you're looking at.

01:18:41.000 I actually, you're joking, but I did do that once.

01:18:43.000 I took hockey tape and I put them along the, they weren't particularly droopy and I put them along the base and then tied them tight so they were like these turgid balloons.

01:18:51.000 Just like a genre of porn right now, too.

01:18:54.000 Yeah.

01:18:54.000 I'm actually getting aroused thinking about it.

01:18:56.000 Okay, we're out of time, but just before we go.

01:19:00.000 We covered some ground here, though, honestly.

01:19:02.000 To be honest, I think we got to the bottom of all the tough issues.

01:19:04.000 I think that if you look up tits in Wikipedia now, it'll just be a transcription of this and they'll know everything.

01:19:10.000 Breast surgeons can go on it.

01:19:12.000 Everyone will know.

01:19:12.000 What do you call those?

01:19:13.000 Tit surgeons?

01:19:15.000 Booboo.

01:19:15.000 Oh, tit surgeons?

01:19:16.000 Yeah.

01:19:16.000 What are they called?

01:19:19.000 Lucky dudes.

01:19:21.000 Yeah.

01:19:22.000 I'd love to slit a woman open and remove shit and then put other stuff into her and stitch up her tits.

01:19:28.000 I was talking about how if your job was like the doctor that's the transgender doctor that cuts off like the dicks, like if it would be a great job for like a hardcore feminist that really hate men, you know, when you love what you do, just wake up every morning chopping off dicks, like fighting the patriarchy.

01:19:43.000 It is a massacre.

01:19:44.000 We went through the details here and it was fucking even CGI.

01:19:49.000 It's shocking.

01:19:50.000 I heard a guy on Real Housewives of Beverly, no, of New Jersey, say that that must be the best job in the world doing kid implants.

01:19:59.000 And you're like, you know, that you're lacerating a woman's breasts to like mass murder levels.

01:20:04.000 Okay, last question, though.

01:20:06.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:20:07.000 Who do you think has nicer tattes?

01:20:09.000 Camala Harris or Elizabeth Warren?

01:20:13.000 I mean, obviously Harris has nicer titties because Warren's 150 years old, but I would say the redeeming characteristics are that Warren would be more annoying, whereas Elizabeth Warren seemed like Elizabeth Warren,

01:20:32.000 if you wanted to play with the tits, she'd be like, what are you doing?

01:20:34.000 Whereas, sorry, Kamala Harris.

01:20:36.000 Whereas I think if you're playing with Elizabeth Warren's titties, she might be annoying at first, but I think within two years, you could have her mind wrapped up to where the tits were yours to do as you please with.

01:20:46.000 Really?

01:20:47.000 I would think the opposite.

01:20:48.000 She would be more likely to get bossed around by you.

01:20:52.000 Have you researched this?

01:20:53.000 Because my instincts say the opposite.

01:20:55.000 Kamala Harris is more like a whatever, and Elizabeth Warren would be more nitpicky.

01:20:59.000 No, you are right that that is the case currently, but Elizabeth Warren has less backbone and less willing to less of an ideology.

01:21:09.000 Like everything she says is someone else's ideology that they told her.

01:21:13.000 So if she was living in my house within six months, that would just be mine.

01:21:18.000 I like it.

01:21:19.000 So she's easier to get.

01:21:19.000 I'd be like, oh, you know all that stuff you think?

01:21:21.000 That's stupid.

01:21:22.000 Like, this is what we think now.

01:21:23.000 Like, what you want to do is put the tits up.

01:21:25.000 And she goes, yes, sir.

01:21:26.000 Is this going to help communism?

01:21:27.000 I go, yeah, it's great.

01:21:28.000 Get the titties up.

01:21:28.000 It's like tits.

01:21:29.000 I think you can infect her.

01:21:31.000 Eventually you comply.

01:21:33.000 Yeah, eventually you comply.

01:21:34.000 Okay.

01:21:35.000 Well, thanks for coming on the show.

01:21:36.000 We learned a lot about jugs.

01:21:38.000 Yeah, this is hilarious.

01:21:39.000 This is the most informative interview I've done.

01:21:42.000 And I'm hoping for you, it felt the same way.

01:21:44.000 It was good for you as it was for me.

01:21:46.000 You're welcome.

01:21:59.000 Ryan Long.

01:22:01.000 How'd you think that went?

01:22:02.000 Great.

01:22:03.000 Sometimes when I meet people in my realm or above me, as far as amusingness goes, it can be a little not awkward, but...

01:22:14.000 Is it like you have to almost pull punches when it's like non-funny people?

01:22:17.000 So you're like, when there's a funny person in the world.

01:22:20.000 Or maybe I'm just insecure and I hang out with retards like you because I can bully you.

01:22:25.000 But then when I'm with someone that I can't, you know, demean and insult constantly, I don't know what to do with myself.

01:22:32.000 It's like the opposite of swinging a bat with a donut on it.

01:22:35.000 You just get an easy ride with me here.

01:22:38.000 Why are you so dark?

01:22:40.000 The sun at 10.

01:22:42.000 Seriously, we got to work on the lighting here.

01:22:44.000 We've got to get a new studio.

01:22:48.000 I'm in the shadows.

01:22:49.000 I'm going to look at some space today because I think we've been doxxed.

01:22:54.000 And the real estate market here in New York is fucking incredible right now.

01:22:58.000 But I thought before I spend like 50 grand building a huge studio and everything, I don't want to for them to find out who we are and then go, oh, no.

01:23:09.000 So if I don't sense a mega vibe from the realtor, get this response I got from one of them where it was way too big for us.

01:23:20.000 Like it was Steven Crowder's size studio.

01:23:22.000 And I thought, we'll be there eventually, but if Milo's shooting his show in Florida now, why make an NBC-sized studio?

01:23:31.000 Why have an Ellen set?

01:23:32.000 But anyway, getting very close.

01:23:34.000 This is me talking.

01:23:35.000 Getting very close to a decision here.

01:23:36.000 One thing I should probably make clear is we are a pro-Trump network.

01:23:40.000 I'd hate to shell out a bunch of money and then have it shut down for our politics within 60 seconds.

01:23:46.000 Unfortunately, it is looking like the company is going in a different direction and is now mostly likely going to utilize this space for their own use.

01:23:55.000 I'll be happy to reach out to you again if this changes.

01:23:59.000 I swear to God, if it's the last thing I do, I'm going to get my hands around your throat.

01:24:03.000 I'm telling you, man, gay in the 50s or gay in the 50s.

01:24:06.000 It's not a joke.

01:24:11.000 All right.

01:24:11.000 Oh, there's one thing.

01:24:12.000 He said, so just in case career ruining crap, the year already gets a lot of stuff.

01:24:17.000 There's people that clip the show for YouTube.

01:24:19.000 I know I'm touching the hair.

01:24:20.000 If you could not clip that interview, Ryan said this.

01:24:24.000 Yeah.

01:24:25.000 Okay.

01:24:26.000 Whoever's clipping, because we don't clip.

01:24:29.000 We don't clip.

01:24:32.000 And we don't cry.

01:24:36.000 I cry.

01:24:37.000 Me too.

01:24:37.000 I like crying.

01:24:38.000 But I don't like personally crying.

01:24:39.000 I like when people cry.

01:24:40.000 No, there's times you can cry.

01:24:42.000 That's kind of why I was watching those Joe Rogan ones.

01:24:45.000 You can cry for anything military.

01:24:48.000 You can sob.

01:24:49.000 Absolutely.

01:24:50.000 But a guy who lost a lot of weight and Chadwick Bozeman, no.

01:24:54.000 That's a no.

01:24:55.000 Unless you're his wife.

01:24:56.000 Yeah.

01:24:57.000 Or how about Jimmy Kimmel blubbering about LeBron James?

01:25:00.000 I don't think he knew him.

01:25:01.000 You know who did a great one?

01:25:02.000 A fellow Scotsman.

01:25:04.000 Who's the guy who had that show?

01:25:06.000 You know, Craig Ferguson.

01:25:08.000 He was talking about his mom and his dad.

01:25:10.000 And that was like, ooh, that was some good stuff.

01:25:14.000 You can cry with parents stuff, right?

01:25:16.000 I guess, but why are you talking about it on a show?

01:25:19.000 I don't know.

01:25:19.000 I like that he was open about that.

01:25:21.000 That was great.

01:25:21.000 It was great.

01:25:22.000 It was a great story.

01:25:23.000 He was telling how hard-working he was, and they came here and they did all this stuff.

01:25:27.000 I don't like crying when you're being interviewed.

01:25:29.000 Like, remember after 9-11, Dan Rather cried on David Letterman, and I was just like, dude, you're giving the jihadists a blowjob.

01:25:38.000 Can you not do that, please?

01:25:39.000 Go cry alone.

01:25:44.000 Do you know anybody alive today who is capable of that?

01:25:48.000 I mean, it's so aberrant and so far afield.

01:25:51.000 Yeah, they're called inbred Muslims, you fucking left-wing losers.

01:25:55.000 But there's several I reports that there was a report.

01:25:58.000 I emphasize, I don't know this for a fact, but there's several witnesses who say this happened.

01:26:02.000 They got on the roof of the building to look across.

01:26:05.000 They knew what was going to happen.

01:26:06.000 They were waiting for it to happen.

01:26:08.000 And when it happened, they celebrated.

01:26:11.000 They jumped for joy to see this happening.

01:26:14.000 I saw that with my own eyes.

01:26:15.000 That's a good clip.

01:26:15.000 But it wasn't jihadists.

01:26:17.000 It was Puerto Ricans going, yeah, bomb that shit, nigga.

01:26:21.000 And they just thought, cool, something's exploding.

01:26:25.000 It's terrible.

01:26:27.000 So, was that the clip?

01:26:28.000 No, he didn't cry there.

01:26:29.000 Are you sure?

01:26:30.000 Because that looked like the clip.

01:26:31.000 Let me see.

01:26:33.000 I mean, how many times was he on David Letterman talking about 9-11?

01:26:45.000 Not so.

01:26:47.000 To the core, evil people.

01:26:49.000 It's probably same interview, different part.

01:26:52.000 But we got the Rogans queued up.

01:26:53.000 Isn't it weird that people are not more xenophobic or sensitive about radical Islam after that?

01:27:00.000 They blew up the most prominent buildings in New York City, and today they're like, hey, hey, hey, don't, don't offend Muslims.

01:27:09.000 Like, I'm the only one who does it.

01:27:12.000 All right, what's this now?

01:27:15.000 And it's a hardened crew of people that watch people eat animal dicks and jump out of helicopters for season after season, episode after episode.

01:27:26.000 You know, we did a hundred and something shows.

01:27:29.000 A hundred and I don't even remember.

01:27:31.000 That mom and daughter couple won.

01:27:32.000 I mean, team, probably 140 episodes of that show.

01:27:37.000 Everybody cried.

01:27:40.000 The camera people, like I'll cry now if I'm thinking about it.

01:27:46.000 When the mother and the daughter are dissecting.

01:27:49.000 I mean, there's a just to it, right?

01:27:52.000 There's a comeuppance.

01:27:54.000 It was a comeuppance.

01:27:55.000 It was an underdog.

01:27:57.000 It was.

01:27:58.000 All right, this is a waste of my time.

01:28:00.000 Just seeing.

01:28:00.000 You're missing the happy cry part.

01:28:02.000 I've been watching them win to this day.

01:28:06.000 Like I tell him, it was you.

01:28:08.000 So I'm quite pleased about that.

01:28:11.000 Just adorable.

01:28:14.000 You do, eh?

01:28:16.000 Yeah, yeah, but particularly like that.

01:28:18.000 I don't tear up for sad things.

01:28:20.000 I tear up for happy things.

01:28:25.000 It's adorable.

01:28:27.000 Oh, that's a winner.

01:28:28.000 That guy could kill me with his bare hands.

01:28:32.000 That's how little kids talk.

01:28:34.000 You're right.

01:28:34.000 Yeah, it was very cutesy.

01:28:37.000 Oh, we're mailbaging it.

01:28:39.000 Ryan, shut up.

01:28:41.000 You don't have a dad.

01:28:44.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

01:28:49.000 Let me touch it.

01:28:51.000 I actually went through the mailbag earlier today.

01:28:54.000 Particularly stinky day.

01:28:56.000 I haven't checked this one yet.

01:28:57.000 Hey, Gavin, Ryga, I stumbled across this great YouTube channel that does psychological breakdowns of police interrogation methods.

01:29:02.000 Anyways, I was watching this episode and immediately thought of you guys.

01:29:05.000 Enjoy.

01:29:06.000 I want to fuck you with Mikey's Ding-Dong.

01:29:08.000 That starts at 5.47.

01:29:12.000 5.47.

01:29:23.000 The only real difference between the more mainstream reality shows, such as Big Brother, compared to the considerably more target-marketed Ultimate Fighter, is that the participants are solely made up of professional MMA fighters.

01:29:35.000 Not only that, but they are each put into a single MMA.

01:29:39.000 Check that out sometime.

01:29:40.000 This is a good channel.

01:29:41.000 This is from Scott.

01:29:42.000 Fucking hilarious.

01:29:44.000 This guy claims it's fucking hilarious, and it is.

01:29:47.000 I learned!

01:29:48.000 I learned a lot!

01:29:49.000 And I learned that I learned a lot.

01:29:53.000 Anyway, Mo is associated here.

01:29:56.000 Anyway, the point I want to make is I learned so much.

01:30:02.000 I learned so much.

01:30:05.000 I learned black, white, all colors, all backgrounds.

01:30:09.000 What I mean.

01:30:11.000 Men, women, gay, straight.

01:30:13.000 Everyone deserves a shot, you know.

01:30:15.000 You don't think.

01:30:16.000 You know what I mean?

01:30:18.000 You don't think.

01:30:19.000 You know what I mean?

01:30:20.000 What I have to do is I have to continue talking about things.

01:30:25.000 I came down here because I remember the first bumper strict that I saw.

01:30:30.000 I learned that I got hairy legs that turned blonde in the sun.

01:30:35.000 And the kids used to come up and reach in the pool and put my leg down.

01:30:38.000 So it was trading.

01:30:39.000 And that flight's the hair.

01:30:40.000 Could come back up again.

01:30:41.000 I learned about the kids jumping on my lap.

01:30:43.000 My bump is jumping on my lap.

01:30:46.000 What do we do?

01:30:46.000 Dead, dead, dead.

01:30:48.000 You know, man.

01:30:49.000 Give me the break.

01:30:51.000 Taking cocaine or not.

01:30:52.000 What do you think?

01:30:55.000 I mean, all colors, all backgrounds.

01:30:57.000 What do I mean?

01:30:59.000 Men, women, gay, straight.

01:31:01.000 Everyone deserves a shot, you know.

01:31:03.000 You don't think.

01:31:04.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:31:06.000 You don't think.

01:31:07.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:31:17.000 I didn't know they had technology to make talking sing like that.

01:31:21.000 Corn pop was a bad dude.

01:31:22.000 Oh, yeah.

01:31:23.000 What's that called?

01:31:24.000 Very willing to get away from the badge.

01:31:25.000 It's like pitch shifting, you know, but you do audio pitch shifting.

01:31:29.000 So he's just speeding up how fast he says it?

01:31:31.000 No, you can actually change the pitch of things.

01:31:33.000 They go in.

01:31:34.000 I understand, but the cadence is changed too.

01:31:36.000 Oh, you would speed it up, slow it down.

01:31:37.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:31:39.000 But the words hit the right way, like corn pop was a bad dude.

01:31:43.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:31:43.000 So I guess you like corn, you slow down corn pop, and then you speed up was a bad dude.

01:31:48.000 Yeah, doesn't that seem tedious?

01:31:49.000 So it's really just speeding up and slowing down things.

01:31:53.000 Man, poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids.

01:31:56.000 Wealthy kids.

01:31:57.000 Okay, we got it, we got it.

01:31:59.000 That was cool.

01:32:00.000 Not ancient news.

01:32:02.000 This guy wants us to check out a Mongolian band.

01:32:06.000 Go one minute in.

01:32:12.000 I know Mongolians could have bands.

01:32:15.000 Let's just jump in the middle.

01:32:31.000 Mongolians look like Chinese guys that just got the shit beaten out of them.

01:32:38.000 Imagine being into world beat gross.

01:32:42.000 There was a story.

01:32:43.000 I told you about this store in Montreal where they'd be like, these guys are kind of like the Led Zeppelin of Kenya.

01:32:49.000 I'll just stick to Led Zeppelin there.

01:32:52.000 One time I was at a meeting with Universal Records with Shane and Sarouche from Vice.

01:32:56.000 Sarouche is Brown.

01:32:57.000 And the sales dude was a total fucking turd.

01:33:02.000 He's like, I love you guys.

01:33:03.000 You guys are great.

01:33:04.000 I got Sarouche.

01:33:05.000 Here is my world beat guy.

01:33:06.000 Great stuff.

01:33:08.000 World beat guy.

01:33:16.000 Sorry.

01:33:19.000 Okay.

01:33:20.000 We got to get going here.

01:33:21.000 This has been a long show.

01:33:22.000 Oh, I saw a really good one, though.

01:33:24.000 I put a flag on.

01:33:26.000 It got a blue flag.

01:33:27.000 Okay, ready?

01:33:28.000 Yes.

01:33:29.000 Last letter.

01:33:30.000 Hey, Gavin, I'm Ryan.

01:33:31.000 My wife and I welcomed our fifth child into the world this Friday.

01:33:34.000 During the pregnancy, my wife got a little sad and depressed.

01:33:38.000 She felt that five was too many because she has friends that have capped off their kids at one or two because they want to focus on their careers.

01:33:46.000 While she's a full-time mom and homeschools our kids.

01:33:50.000 No, sorry, while she is a full-time mom and homeschools our kids.

01:33:53.000 I showed her a clip from your show where you say one is for losers, two is for fags, three is the bare minimum.

01:33:57.000 Five is perfect.

01:33:58.000 It really cheered her up.

01:33:59.000 So thanks.

01:34:00.000 I tell her all the time that she's 1,000 times cooler than her friends who are too busy to have more kids because of some retarded job and that she is doing the most important job in the world.

01:34:10.000 AJ.

01:34:11.000 Yes, AJ's wife.

01:34:12.000 Believe me, you will not regret five.

01:34:15.000 Every time I talk to us three and unders, we never say, thank God I get to focus on my career.

01:34:22.000 Every last diaper of my youngest boys was torture because I knew this might be the last diaper I ever changed.

01:34:27.000 And one day it was.

01:34:29.000 I wish I had five kids.

01:34:31.000 They become a self-perpetuating machine where the oldest girl can drive around the youngest and be a babysitter and stuff like that.

01:34:39.000 It's not more work three to five.

01:34:41.000 Our grandparents used to have 11, 10 or 11.

01:34:46.000 And you've got fucking five.

01:34:48.000 I am so jealous of you.

01:34:50.000 Believe me, especially as you get older, you'll think, thank God.

01:34:54.000 You know, if all your kids are away in college right now, you could move to Montana, go skiing in the winter and just peter around, you'd be bored out of your fucking mind.

01:35:02.000 And when you got to be 60 and 70, you wanted grandkids, there'd be none.

01:35:05.000 You're going to have maybe 15 grandkids.

01:35:09.000 That's amazing.

01:35:10.000 And that is an accomplishment.

01:35:12.000 So folks out there, if you have no kids, get on it.

01:35:16.000 If you have one kid, you got to double that and add at least one.

01:35:20.000 Three is the bare minimum.

01:35:22.000 I just scratch by.

01:35:23.000 And when I look at my kids and my wife, I think, why didn't I come in you the first night I met you?

01:35:29.000 I could have had five.

01:35:30.000 We waited so fucking long.

01:35:32.000 From the day I met her to our first kid was, I think, six years.

01:35:36.000 That's embarrassing and idiotic.

01:35:39.000 You're doing the right thing.

01:35:40.000 Your friends' jobs suck and they're miserable there.

01:35:43.000 They should get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

S03E10 - TITS VS. ASS [2020-09-08 - S03E10 - TITS VS. ASS]

Summary

Transcript