Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S03E103 - MAILBAG CATCH-UP 3

00:00:14.000 From New York, it's the end of my morning with Devin McGuinness.

00:00:33.000 I know what you're thinking.

00:00:35.000 You're thinking that's a surprisingly funky jam for a Motown song, right?

00:00:43.000 I am.

00:00:44.000 It's got a lot of it, it pops, what do you guys say?

00:00:47.000 It snaps, it pops.

00:00:48.000 It slaps.

00:00:49.000 It slaps.

00:00:51.000 It is very funky.

00:00:52.000 Sometimes things are funky.

00:00:53.000 You don't expect to be funky, like Black Sabbath, Fairies Wear Boots. 1.00

00:01:01.000 That song was written by Georgia Dobbins. 0.99

00:01:04.000 And it was Motown, when Motown was sort of just getting its legs.

00:01:08.000 This is 1961.

00:01:11.000 She didn't write the music.

00:01:12.000 Some friend of hers wrote sort of a blues riff with that piano.

00:01:18.000 And she wrote the lyrics, took her three days.

00:01:21.000 Barry Gordy pooped his pants when he heard it.

00:01:23.000 He knew it was a hit right away, and it was.

00:01:25.000 It went to number one.

00:01:25.000 Motown's first number one hit.

00:01:28.000 Wow.

00:01:28.000 That's not Georgia Dobbins, though.

00:01:30.000 She left the band right after the audition.

00:01:33.000 Whoa.

00:01:34.000 To go pursue, to go pursue, to help her ailing mother.

00:01:39.000 She just wrote songs for money. 0.88

00:01:42.000 And I think she really regretted it.

00:01:43.000 And then Michael Strahan replaced her.

00:01:45.000 I see.

00:01:46.000 Yes.

00:01:48.000 Let's hear it.

00:01:55.000 Her boyfriend was in the Navy.

00:01:57.000 Which in the 60s, not a big deal.

00:02:00.000 War is over.

00:02:06.000 Although, wait a minute.

00:02:07.000 When's Vietnam again? 1.00

00:02:09.000 68. 0.99

00:02:11.000 I'm retarded. 0.99

00:02:14.000 Between the wars, Philly Bragg would say. 0.97

00:02:17.000 You know why?

00:02:18.000 I think the band who did the music, I think they were called the Funk Brothers.

00:02:21.000 Guess who's playing drums on that song?

00:02:24.000 Who?

00:02:24.000 Marvin Gaye.

00:02:26.000 What?

00:02:27.000 Yep.

00:02:28.000 What a multi-talented drummer.

00:02:30.000 So did...

00:02:30.000 Did you know Marvin Gaye?

00:02:32.000 You know that disco song?

00:02:38.000 Yeah.

00:02:39.000 And you hear people partying in the background?

00:02:42.000 Yeah.

00:02:43.000 You know why?

00:02:44.000 Why?

00:02:44.000 Because people are partying in the background.

00:02:47.000 That's a 13-minute song.

00:02:48.000 And he went to the record label.

00:02:49.000 Obviously, the guy's got experience.

00:02:51.000 He goes back to drumming for Mr. Postman in 1961.

00:02:54.000 And they go, there's a mistake here.

00:02:56.000 You included just some party. 0.99

00:02:58.000 I guess someone pressed record and you're just fucking around. 0.98

00:03:01.000 And he goes, no, that's the song. 0.99

00:03:03.000 Marv, it's 13 minutes long.

00:03:06.000 I can't go on the album.

00:03:06.000 He goes, well, then you don't, I'm not giving you the album then.

00:03:09.000 Not bad.

00:03:10.000 And they go, well, we're not putting it out.

00:03:12.000 And he goes, well, there's nothing to put out.

00:03:14.000 You can't have any other songs unless you include this 13-minute jam.

00:03:19.000 And he forced them to. 0.99

00:03:21.000 It was a fucking massive hit. 0.99

00:03:22.000 Can you find that? 1.00

00:03:24.000 Damn, by the way. 0.99

00:03:26.000 I think it started in 1955. 0.99

00:03:28.000 What did?

00:03:30.000 The Vietnam War.

00:03:31.000 That doesn't sound right to me.

00:03:32.000 That doesn't sound right, no. 1.00

00:03:33.000 That's when they started their Asian shit. 1.00

00:03:34.000 But when did we... 1.00

00:03:35.000 Well, the Vietnam War, right, was they said, okay, France, you can have Vietnam back.

00:03:41.000 And then the communists took it over.

00:03:45.000 And they said, and then France said, can you help us? 0.99

00:03:49.000 And next thing you know, we're doing all their fucking dirty work on behalf of fucking France? 1.00

00:03:54.000 Faggotsville? 1.00

00:03:58.000 In 1969, following the election of Richard Nixon, Vietnamization began, which saw the conflict expanded.

00:04:06.000 So I don't think we started cooking until what you said.

00:04:10.000 But it was 55, 10 years after the end of the war, that France said, hey, they're not giving it to us.

00:04:18.000 I'll give it to you all right, France.

00:04:20.000 But find that Marvin Gaye song.

00:04:23.000 Yeah, that's it.

00:04:26.000 It says live at the London Palladium.

00:04:28.000 But that's the original.

00:04:30.000 This is the original part you hear it.

00:04:38.000 Is there another song ever that has people partying in the background?

00:04:44.000 Love Roller Coaster has the...

00:04:46.000 You could hear people in the background and they theorized that it was...

00:04:49.000 It was a really wild conspiracy what that was.

00:04:52.000 They thought they were killing a woman in the background.

00:04:54.000 You remember that?

00:04:55.000 No.

00:04:55.000 What's Live Roller Coaster?

00:04:56.000 Early internet, they had this theory.

00:04:58.000 Rollercoaster of love.

00:05:01.000 So you hear this.

00:05:02.000 What's that song called, by the way?

00:05:04.000 The 13-minute or oh, gotta give it up.

00:05:07.000 I'm gonna see where that went on the charts while you look up your thing.

00:05:10.000 So I'll find it.

00:05:11.000 Gotta give it up.

00:05:15.000 His dad blew him away.

00:05:17.000 Father, father, father.

00:05:19.000 There's far too many of us died. 1.00

00:05:22.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:05:24.000 Okay. 1.00

00:05:25.000 There's the end of that.

00:05:27.000 Somebody said it was jealousy.

00:05:29.000 I was like, it's got to be more than that.

00:05:30.000 Somebody said it was a fight with his...

00:05:32.000 Do you know why?

00:05:33.000 No.

00:05:33.000 Fight with his mom, somebody postulated.

00:05:38.000 I'll tell you what. 1.00

00:05:38.000 Marvin Gaye probably gave him a million bucks, and he probably became a drunken fucking cokehead loser who lost his shit. 1.00

00:05:45.000 And during a blackout, he went so crazy, he shot his son. 1.00

00:05:53.000 So Marvin Gaye was on fire when that came out, 76.

00:05:58.000 No, 77?

00:05:59.000 That was when punk was out.

00:06:01.000 But where did it go on the charts?

00:06:06.000 Charts, charts, charts.

00:06:08.000 Charts, charts, charts.

00:06:10.000 So this says nearly 40 years ago, hit song by Ohio players.

00:06:13.000 You know, there's a scream in it.

00:06:15.000 Let's see.

00:06:27.000 It was a number one hit in 77.

00:06:33.000 I know this jam.

00:06:36.000 We didn't hear nobody getting killed.

00:06:41.000 Okay.

00:06:45.000 The theory was that she was killed because she was complaining that they ruined her career because the album cover, they had this model covered in honey and she was kneeling on a fiberglass surface.

00:06:57.000 And that bonded to her skin.

00:06:58.000 And when she got up, it tore the flesh off. 0.95

00:07:00.000 She could no longer model.

00:07:01.000 So she came back in causing a fuss while they were recording. 1.00

00:07:04.000 Is that more gorilla glue honey?

00:07:06.000 Yeah.

00:07:06.000 There was no GoFundMes back then, so it was tough times.

00:07:12.000 So, oh, this is supposed to look like honey. 0.99

00:07:14.000 Anyway, so I ripped her skin off, and then she comes into the studio while they're recording this, and she's like, you fucking ruined me. 1.00

00:07:19.000 And they were like, let's just kill you. 1.00

00:07:21.000 And then they just killed her, and it's on tape. 1.00

00:07:23.000 That's retarded. 1.00

00:07:24.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:07:25.000 But early internet, there was no way to... 1.00

00:07:27.000 Remember that stupid theory about rape, murder! 1.00

00:07:34.000 It's just a shadow. 1.00

00:07:35.000 It's just a shadowy.

00:07:38.000 Yeah.

00:07:39.000 Of course.

00:07:40.000 And they go, what happened was she gave 110% of herself to that song, and it led to a miscarriage, and her baby died.

00:07:48.000 They've got her up at 3 in the morning, and they made her come into the studio and do that song.

00:07:53.000 And you should be looking this up.

00:07:55.000 I still believe that.

00:07:56.000 I remember trying to look that up, and I couldn't find a thing.

00:07:58.000 Remember, we found an interview and she didn't mention it. 0.99

00:07:59.000 I was like, you bitch. 0.99

00:08:01.000 Did that really happen? 1.00

00:08:02.000 I'll tell you what happened.

00:08:03.000 She did Coke.

00:08:06.000 Oh.

00:08:07.000 What's her name?

00:08:09.000 What's the song called?

00:08:11.000 Not a shout away.

00:08:12.000 It's called.

00:08:12.000 Yeah, just a shout away.

00:08:14.000 No, it's called something else.

00:08:15.000 Give me shelter.

00:08:16.000 Give me shelter.

00:08:18.000 Yeah, she got up at 3 in the morning.

00:08:19.000 She was tired. 1.00

00:08:20.000 She was stupid. 1.00

00:08:21.000 She did Coke. 1.00

00:08:22.000 This is just my theory.

00:08:24.000 And babies don't like Coke. 0.99

00:08:27.000 Whatever you do, your baby does.

00:08:30.000 In fact, if you're breastfeeding and you do Coke, your baby's going to die. 0.73

00:08:34.000 That happened to someone we know, too.

00:08:36.000 Back in the early New York days, there were this couple, and they were doing tons of Coke and breastfeeding, and then their baby mysteriously died.

00:08:42.000 I said to my girlfriend at the time, who's now my wife, I go, you know that they killed that baby, right?

00:08:47.000 And everyone kind of knew that, but they weren't ostracized.

00:08:50.000 They still hung around, even though they murdered their baby.

00:08:53.000 Being known as a racist were supporting Trump.

00:08:58.000 No.

00:08:59.000 Jennifer Chiba appears to have killed Elliot Smith.

00:09:03.000 That's fine, too. 1.00

00:09:05.000 What a fucking crazy word. 1.00

00:09:07.000 Gary. 1.00

00:09:08.000 Oh, I thought you were complaining about the microphone.

00:09:10.000 Well, it does seem weird.

00:09:12.000 He didn't turn it, though, so I take that back.

00:09:15.000 He didn't do that.

00:09:16.000 So is this your...

00:09:17.000 I mean, I'm not saying it's true, but is there anywhere to back this up online?

00:09:22.000 No.

00:09:22.000 But you're with the Rolling Stones.

00:09:24.000 Yeah, it's four in the morning.

00:09:26.000 She definitely smoked weed first, and then was like, I can do a little bump. 0.96

00:09:30.000 And what year was this?

00:09:32.000 Let's see.

00:09:33.000 Give me shelter was probably 81.

00:09:40.000 69, recorded in 69.

00:09:43.000 Oh.

00:09:44.000 Not even close. 1.00

00:09:45.000 That's some old shit, bro. 1.00

00:09:48.000 All right. 1.00

00:09:49.000 So that's our rock and roll Hall of Fame.

00:09:52.000 Today is all mailbag.

00:09:54.000 That's why I chose Mr. Postman.

00:09:56.000 Wait, was that recorded by Killerman, Wallace Sound?

00:10:01.000 You're talking about Phil Spector.

00:10:03.000 Phil Spector.

00:10:03.000 No, that was Motown.

00:10:05.000 That was Barry Gordy.

00:10:06.000 Gotcha.

00:10:08.000 I think.

00:10:09.000 Right?

00:10:20.000 Let me touch it.

00:10:23.000 Oh, the Carpenters brought it to number one, too.

00:10:25.000 And the Beatles covered it.

00:10:27.000 Let's hear the Carpenters do it. 0.96

00:10:38.000 Who recorded it?

00:10:46.000 Just the same song.

00:10:47.000 Yeah, it's got that same thick sound.

00:10:49.000 I thought they were going to thin it out and make it all airy. 0.97

00:10:56.000 Sucks.

00:10:57.000 I can't just cover the song exactly. 0.99

00:10:59.000 That's karaoke.

00:11:01.000 What about the Beatles?

00:11:05.000 They included it in their live act in 1962. 1.00

00:11:22.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:11:24.000 That's actually shittier. 1.00

00:11:26.000 Yeah.

00:11:26.000 They shittied it up.

00:11:28.000 Nobody ever covered a song like Jimi Hendrix covered All on the Watchtower. 0.99

00:11:31.000 He re-just transformed the fucking song. 0.97

00:11:34.000 The original sounds nothing. 1.00

00:11:35.000 And the original sucks. 0.92

00:11:37.000 I like it, but yeah. 0.99

00:11:38.000 Oh, look, the Watchtower.

00:11:39.000 Hey.

00:11:40.000 Oh, Bob Dewitt.

00:11:42.000 Oh, I gotta blow my nose.

00:11:44.000 I'm talking about bouncers.

00:11:45.000 Oh, every other time he looks so fine.

00:11:48.000 Within you.

00:11:49.000 Oh, how does it feel?

00:11:52.000 Oh, yeah.

00:11:55.000 He inspired me to be a, to like sing with guitar because I was like, if he could do it. 1.00

00:12:00.000 Yeah, and you suck. 0.99

00:12:00.000 You know, it's a boy. 0.99

00:12:01.000 Yeah, I know. 0.99

00:12:02.000 But you don't have to not suck. 0.99

00:12:04.000 What? 1.00

00:12:04.000 Like, you could suck and still. 1.00

00:12:06.000 By the way, speaking of music, the other day Ryan was talking to Gav about fucking tunes, just dudes. 1.00

00:12:13.000 And he's like, fucking Shania Twain's drummer. 1.00

00:12:19.000 Total tranny, man. 1.00

00:12:21.000 So he's always like mugging for the cameras. 0.91

00:12:23.000 Like, dude, just play this song.

00:12:24.000 Just play it.

00:12:25.000 Don't impress me much. 1.00

00:12:27.000 And I'm just sitting there going, what the fuck? 0.99

00:12:30.000 And then he's showing me videos of Shania Twain. 1.00

00:12:32.000 I was like, isn't this garbage? 0.99

00:12:33.000 Like, that's his dad. 1.00

00:12:36.000 He knows like the drummer's dad is also the bassist or some shit. 0.94

00:12:40.000 The guitar player, yeah. 0.97

00:12:41.000 The guitar player. 0.97

00:12:42.000 And then I'm supposed to be watching this going, yeah, she totally sucks on drums, dude. 1.00

00:12:47.000 Shania sucks. 1.00

00:12:49.000 She used to be with, I like old Shania before she sold out. 1.00

00:12:52.000 This drummer's ruining a really powerful woman. 1.00

00:12:55.000 That's the dad there.

00:12:56.000 And he was like, you couldn't believe it.

00:12:58.000 We are playing for the Twain Shania.

00:13:01.000 And here's the fake woman. 1.00

00:13:03.000 Looks like Frankenstein.

00:13:05.000 Just looks like a dude.

00:13:06.000 And in a rock and roll context, when you're used to Motley Crew and stuff, it's just like with glam into account, you just go, that's a dude playing drums.

00:13:14.000 Oh, yeah.

00:13:14.000 Looks like Tommy Lee or, you know, Skid Row on their first album.

00:13:21.000 You know what's interesting?

00:13:22.000 And then he shows me a later version of her, and he's like, look how fat she is. 0.99

00:13:26.000 I mean, she just looks like a housewife doing karaoke. 1.00

00:13:29.000 Yeah, like a sassy Long Island mom. 0.99

00:13:32.000 Yeah, Shania Twain and what she used to be bro. 1.00

00:13:35.000 Talk about bros before hoes. 1.00

00:13:37.000 Real quick, though, you know how the tranny. 0.93

00:13:38.000 Tranny's a tranny? 0.97

00:13:40.000 She's trying to play drums like a female too. 1.00

00:13:42.000 Like, look at the wrists.

00:13:44.000 Like, look at the daintiness.

00:13:45.000 Like, she's in character while drumming.

00:13:47.000 That's nice.

00:13:48.000 Pretty impressive.

00:13:49.000 I don't.

00:13:49.000 That doesn't impress you much?

00:13:50.000 Shania Twain is not on my radar.

00:13:53.000 She don't impress me much.

00:13:54.000 Okay.

00:13:54.000 And then he goes, well, you joke about Shania Twain all the time.

00:13:57.000 And I go, no, I said if I ever meet Brad Pitt, I'm going to say, so you're Brad Pitt.

00:14:02.000 That don't impress me much.

00:14:04.000 And then walk away, which is hilarious.

00:14:07.000 And it's also a parody of someone liking Shania Twain. 1.00

00:14:13.000 I obviously don't genuinely ever listen to that fucking shit. 1.00

00:14:17.000 What's next? 1.00

00:14:17.000 Gloria Estevans, fucking bassist, has weird boots? 1.00

00:14:21.000 You have hurt me today. 1.00

00:14:24.000 All right, first letter on the special letter edition of...

00:14:29.000 Get off my lawn.

00:14:30.000 Letter rip. 0.99

00:14:30.000 King of all drunks and faggy teacup Rivera. 0.99

00:14:33.000 Thought you'd find this interesting.

00:14:34.000 Wind energy.

00:14:36.000 In quotes.

00:14:37.000 But you didn't know most of the parts for a wind turbine are built in Germany.

00:14:41.000 It requires 60 gallons of oils to lubricate the turbine.

00:14:44.000 Where do you think that oil leaks when a seal bursts on the ground?

00:14:50.000 The blades are made of toxic fiberglass combination and are buried in landfills in Wyoming, but that's safe for groundwater.

00:14:57.000 The turbine has to spin continually for seven plus years just to replace the energy it took to manufacture the turbine.

00:15:05.000 It has to run continually for 50 years just to pay for the cost to manufacture and install the turbine, which is approximately $2 million per turbine.

00:15:15.000 I did not know that.

00:15:16.000 I did know that it uses a ton of fossil fuels to create.

00:15:21.000 But those are some specific details that are...

00:15:24.000 I mean, we all kind of knew that instinctively, right? 1.00

00:15:26.000 We all knew that this alternative energy is bullshit. 0.99

00:15:28.000 And when you point that out to the greenies, they go, I know, but you spend so much money on helping oil companies mine oil or what's the word, fucking dig for oil? 1.00

00:15:40.000 I think mine. 0.59

00:15:42.000 Why don't you spend that kind of money on green energy?

00:15:47.000 Okay, why don't I spend tons of money trying to get George Costanza in the NBA?

00:15:51.000 We could get him bouncier shoes.

00:15:54.000 We could put little springs on his shoes.

00:15:57.000 That might get him in the NBA.

00:15:59.000 It's not meant to be.

00:16:01.000 The free market handles what's meant to be.

00:16:04.000 And the reason we add money to the oil industry that's already kicking ass is because we get the money back. 0.97

00:16:11.000 As we just saw with wind, it takes fucking half a century to get your money back. 0.97

00:16:16.000 Anyway, this is all obvious. 0.98

00:16:18.000 There's two groups in the world.

00:16:19.000 There's the curious and the incurious.

00:16:22.000 And it's all laid out there for the curious.

00:16:24.000 Everything.

00:16:25.000 Who's guilty, who's a Nazi, what fascism is.

00:16:28.000 That's all laid out for you.

00:16:31.000 This is from Mark.

00:16:32.000 Hey, Gavin, here's a new movie you'll be sure to love.

00:16:35.000 It's called The Mauritanian.

00:16:37.000 Mauritanian?

00:16:39.000 And it chronicles the unfair persecution and legal battle the head recruiter of the 9-11 terror attacks faced in the American legal system.

00:16:49.000 Poor fella.

00:16:50.000 What a wonderful story.

00:16:52.000 Can't wait for the movie about Omar Katter, who received $10 million for the inconvenience of being sent to Guantanamo for terrorism.

00:16:59.000 A man who lost his passport.

00:17:01.000 You want to represent the head recruiter for 9-11.

00:17:05.000 Mohamedou Old Slati, the Mauritani involved in Guantanamo.

00:17:09.000 He recruited the guys who flew your friend's plane into the South Tower.

00:17:14.000 He put those men on my husband's plane.

00:17:18.000 I'm going to make him pay.

00:17:20.000 In the event the detainee lunges for you, push back away from the table.

00:17:22.000 We'll get in there as quick as we can.

00:17:24.000 You know what my punishment would be if I was the judge?

00:17:28.000 He's not tied up.

00:17:29.000 He's just standing there.

00:17:31.000 And every victim's family, all 3,000 family, all 3,000 victims, their families, so maybe we're up to like immediate families.

00:17:41.000 Maybe we're up to like 9,000. 0.77

00:17:43.000 They all get to punch him.

00:17:46.000 How many times? 0.99

00:17:48.000 Just leave him alive for the next one. 0.51

00:17:50.000 Yeah.

00:17:51.000 So, yeah, don't go bananas.

00:17:53.000 Like, the first guy doesn't get to punch him 800 times.

00:17:56.000 But there's a lineup.

00:17:57.000 And then by the end, he's just like jam.

00:18:00.000 He's just mush.

00:18:02.000 I didn't know the last person's just punching some mush.

00:18:05.000 Mashed potatoes.

00:18:06.000 You want to leave him alive for the next one, though.

00:18:08.000 Otherwise, it's not gratifying.

00:18:09.000 And now you're stealing their vengeance.

00:18:12.000 I didn't know the lead singer of Trap, my buddy Chris Taylor Brown, was in this movie.

00:18:17.000 My buddy.

00:18:18.000 It's my buddy.

00:18:19.000 Yeah.

00:18:20.000 We text.

00:18:20.000 We're in a group.

00:18:22.000 Okay.

00:18:23.000 I'm Nancy Hollander.

00:18:24.000 This is my associate.

00:18:26.000 We wish to represent you. 0.97

00:18:27.000 We are seeking the death penalty. 0.99

00:18:29.000 But if we miss something, this guy goes home. 0.72

00:18:31.000 Let's get to it.

00:18:33.000 Call this pumper.

00:18:34.000 Speak to my mother.

00:18:36.000 Tell her.

00:18:36.000 I don't know.

00:18:38.000 Something nice.

00:18:40.000 The U.S. government is holding upwards of 700 prisoners Guantamo.

00:18:44.000 Since when did we start locking people up without a trial in this country?

00:18:47.000 I don't know.

00:18:48.000 Since terrorism?

00:18:49.000 Just they flew apart. 1.00

00:18:50.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:18:51.000 You know how hard it is for anyone considered a Nazi or a white supremacist to get a lawyer? 1.00

00:18:57.000 It's completely impossible.

00:19:06.000 Like the Proud Boys, the Halifax 5.

00:19:09.000 They dared to question an anti-Canada Day rally on Canada Day. 1.00

00:19:14.000 And we could not get them a fucking lawyer. 0.99

00:19:17.000 We wrote up, did all the paperwork. 0.99

00:19:18.000 Ezra spent five grand getting all the paperwork done.

00:19:21.000 All he had to do was file it.

00:19:22.000 Couldn't get anyone in all the Halifax.

00:19:24.000 However, murder 3,000 people and we got you a lawyer, no problem.

00:19:37.000 Alright, so that's annoying.

00:19:41.000 Wait, this is the same Mark.

00:19:43.000 He doesn't get to.

00:19:44.000 Oh, he's from Halifax.

00:19:45.000 What a coincidence.

00:19:46.000 Word on the street is that Pelosi and the device behind the scenes, Clinton's moments, are the ones pushing the sexual assault allegations about Cuomo.

00:19:52.000 Why?

00:19:52.000 Because everyone stopped talking about the real crime of thousands of dead elderly people.

00:19:56.000 It's a distraction to divert attention, and it's working.

00:19:59.000 I don't think it is working.

00:20:02.000 I would argue the opposite.

00:20:03.000 I would argue that this sexual assault thing is getting wings, and inevitably, the nursing homes are attached to those wings. 1.00

00:20:14.000 It's dragging, or say it's a pickup truck.

00:20:16.000 The nursing homes are dragging along behind this pickup truck like a dead body.

00:20:21.000 So I'm fine with it. 1.00

00:20:22.000 If that's what they're doing, they're fucking retarded. 1.00

00:20:25.000 Because people were defending the nursing homes. 1.00

00:20:28.000 They want to defend Cuomo.

00:20:29.000 Now they can't defend Cuomo. 1.00

00:20:32.000 So they're going, fuck it, let's throw the nursing homes in with him. 1.00

00:20:35.000 Now, you could argue that he's a scapegoat and they're going to make the nursing homes 100% him. 1.00

00:20:40.000 Like he's Milosevic or some sort of war criminal, which I'm fine with, by the way. 1.00

00:20:43.000 I hope he rots in hell. 0.99

00:20:46.000 There's an argument there, but I don't think it's hiding it. 1.00

00:21:00.000 Good Lord, I'm retarded. 0.95

00:21:01.000 I'd like to formally apologize for sending in such a shitty email last night. 0.96

00:21:05.000 I had a bit too much Kentucky Treamer. 0.82

00:21:06.000 Needless to say, I was bourbon-faced.

00:21:08.000 Love the show. 1.00

00:21:09.000 Ryan, stop playing with your fucking hair. 0.99

00:21:12.000 And then earlier, we have a 9 o'clock drunk email from this man saying that he had an epiphany while listening to Papa Was a Rolling Stone, and it sounds just like George Floyd's son in the future. 1.00

00:21:28.000 I never got a chance to see him.

00:21:30.000 Mama just hung her head and said, Papa was a fentanyl addict.

00:21:33.000 Wherever he laid his hat was his home, and when he died, all that, it's not funny. 1.00

00:21:37.000 You suck. 1.00

00:21:38.000 Thank you, Jake, for leaking. 1.00

00:21:44.000 So this guy is recommending Oklahoma.

00:21:47.000 Not a single county went blue in 2016.

00:21:49.000 Multiple large Trump rallies.

00:21:52.000 Trump flags on homes and vehicles everywhere.

00:21:55.000 Southern culture, this is point two, southern culture, tons of guns, camping, blah, blah, blah.

00:22:00.000 Number three, most of it is boring, but eastern Oklahoma has parts of the Ozark Mountains, which is beautiful.

00:22:07.000 I'm from Broken Arrow, a suburb of Tulsa.

00:22:10.000 So you're less than 30 minutes from downtown living, blah, blah, blah.

00:22:13.000 Broken Arrow is awesome.

00:22:14.000 We never had any COVID lockdowns.

00:22:17.000 We also have Little Sahara, which is a big area full of sand dunes where people from all over bring their dirt bikes, ATVs, side-by-sides, and other big expensive toys to race, ramp, and crash on the dunes pretty much year-round.

00:22:28.000 We get a full dose of all climates.

00:22:30.000 This year we got several large snows, but usually that's pretty rare.

00:22:34.000 Usually we get lucky one good dose is snow.

00:22:37.000 So I've been sending all these to a little file called Moving.

00:22:41.000 He also says, sports are huge here, particularly football and baseball.

00:22:44.000 There's no MLB teams here, but you have no trouble at all finding teams for your kids to join.

00:22:48.000 It's not weird how few.

00:22:50.000 Like I was looking at a map of America.

00:22:52.000 Eastern Tennessee, North Carolina, South Carolina, no baseball teams.

00:22:56.000 The last baseball team is the Baltimore Orioles, and then nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing until Florida with the Marlins and the Buccaneers.

00:23:07.000 Hmm.

00:23:09.000 I guess it's money.

00:23:11.000 So I'm sending that to myself for my little file.

00:23:14.000 Oh, that's a handy map.

00:23:16.000 Let me see that.

00:23:19.000 Oh, the...

00:23:21.000 Yeah, that makes sense.

00:23:22.000 DC's south of Baltimore.

00:23:24.000 It doesn't seem that way when you're on the train.

00:23:26.000 It seems horizontal, but I guess it is south.

00:23:29.000 Atlanta Braves.

00:23:31.000 Wow, look at that.

00:23:33.000 We only have...

00:23:34.000 Who are those guys in the Pacific Northwest?

00:23:37.000 What are they called again?

00:23:41.000 What is it?

00:23:41.000 The Seattle...

00:23:42.000 Oh, Mariners.

00:23:43.000 The Mariners.

00:23:44.000 Why were you reluctant?

00:23:45.000 Do you not know what Pacific Northwest means?

00:23:48.000 Yeah, that's correct.

00:23:49.000 Well, I do, but I had to think about it.

00:23:52.000 I thought it was Hawaii, so I went down here first.

00:23:55.000 I was like, that's Pacific North.

00:23:56.000 That's pretty northwest.

00:23:57.000 Pretty darn northwest.

00:23:59.000 I guess it's all money, right?

00:24:01.000 You don't have a lot of money.

00:24:05.000 Huh.

00:24:05.000 There's a lot.

00:24:08.000 I'm dependent on you to give me the...

00:24:11.000 You know what's fun about being 50?

00:24:12.000 You don't have to put on music.

00:24:13.000 You just listen to it in your head.

00:24:15.000 Yep.

00:24:17.000 Let me look at a map.

00:24:18.000 Where is Broken Arrow, Oklahoma?

00:24:20.000 Put that blank in there.

00:24:27.000 Of course, Ryan has to add his single mom music, Angle.

00:24:37.000 Broken Arrow.

00:24:40.000 Tulsa, Oklahoma.

00:24:43.000 I've never not lived by the sea, but why bother?

00:24:47.000 I don't like the beach. 0.98

00:24:48.000 I don't give a fuck about the sea. 0.98

00:24:50.000 I've always, since I've been 17, from 17 to 50, I've lived within a 10-minute drive to the sea. 0.98

00:25:02.000 Or a major body of water.

00:25:05.000 Major river.

00:25:07.000 So Oklahoma's just north of Texas.

00:25:09.000 I did not know that.

00:25:13.000 All right. 1.00

00:25:13.000 Jack, is it possible that his nipples chafe and he puts tape over them because he's a fag? 1.00

00:25:19.000 That doesn't explain the perfect X's, although we did have someone mail in and say, dude, it's suspenders. 0.99

00:25:24.000 He has suspenders under his shirt, and that's the buckles.

00:25:28.000 And I looked at the picture again after that being said.

00:25:32.000 There's zero evidence of any kind of strap, so it's a very, very thin strap.

00:25:37.000 And it's strange that the buckles for the suspenders are exactly, exactly where the nipples would be.

00:25:48.000 Also, what kind of buckle is an X like that?

00:25:51.000 I've had a million pairs of suspenders.

00:25:53.000 I still have.

00:25:53.000 They all have a horizontal, either a clip or a plastic sort of thing that you can thread.

00:25:59.000 I've never seen an X. There's no decoration on the strap itself.

00:26:04.000 They're meant to be discrete.

00:26:06.000 Right.

00:26:07.000 They're not meant to be an X. This one's an outer standard.

00:26:11.000 Yeah.

00:26:13.000 But these are for the under. 1.00

00:26:14.000 Who the fuck wears suspenders under their golf shirt, too, on their bare skin? 1.00

00:26:17.000 Yeah, that is bananas. 1.00

00:26:20.000 Weird.

00:26:20.000 Not Cuomo.

00:26:21.000 So I'm not buying that. 0.95

00:26:22.000 Go back to the Cuomo nipple picture. 0.91

00:26:26.000 And there's... 1.00

00:26:27.000 I mean, it's really tight against his gorgeous little tits. 0.99

00:26:32.000 You know, if you have those kind of things... 0.99

00:26:35.000 Yeah.

00:26:36.000 Like, do you see any evidence of any kind of strap anywhere?

00:26:40.000 I know.

00:26:40.000 I see the buckle thing you're saying, but no.

00:26:43.000 No. 1.00

00:26:44.000 You know that if you are a man and you have pierced nipples, you love having your nipples licked. 1.00

00:26:50.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:26:51.000 Watching Cuomo have sex. 0.99

00:26:55.000 See, a little fruitless. 1.00

00:26:56.000 And again, all this shit. 0.99

00:26:57.000 You can get away with that, but all of this shit about, like, when you read the actual sexual harassment things, I've done much worse. 1.00

00:27:04.000 Especially to you. 0.99

00:27:05.000 Oh, yeah.

00:27:05.000 Like, it's not unusual for me to crawl into bed nude.

00:27:08.000 In fact, we did that with our tech guy when we were in Seattle.

00:27:12.000 I crawled into bed naked with him, and he starts freaking out.

00:27:14.000 And I'm holding on to him, nude, screaming, it's just a joke.

00:27:17.000 It's a joke. 0.67

00:27:19.000 I mean, that's sexual harassment.

00:27:23.000 It's a joke.

00:27:24.000 He started it.

00:27:25.000 Cuomo, you started the cancel culture.

00:27:27.000 You threw my boys in prison for four years by convincing the justice system that he's a Nazi, that they're Nazis.

00:27:35.000 Yeah, those aren't suspect.

00:27:37.000 Oh, wait a minute.

00:27:38.000 Look right above me.

00:27:41.000 What, you think you see a little strap around his shoulder?

00:27:43.000 Yeah.

00:27:44.000 I see some lighting there.

00:27:46.000 Yeah.

00:27:47.000 It could be a fold, you know, but.

00:27:53.000 That's the closest thing to evidence about that.

00:27:55.000 Sure.

00:27:56.000 It's just so weird to have an X on your suspend.

00:27:59.000 And wait a minute.

00:28:00.000 Wait a minute.

00:28:01.000 His pants are tucked in.

00:28:02.000 His shirt's tucked into his pants.

00:28:04.000 Yeah.

00:28:05.000 So what are the suspenders linked to?

00:28:06.000 His underwear?

00:28:08.000 And he has a belt on.

00:28:10.000 Now, I have seen some southerners wear a suspender and belt, but it's on the outside because the shirt's tucked in.

00:28:16.000 You can't tuck a shirt in and have suspenders. 1.00

00:28:18.000 Fucking the millennial who brought this up to me too was like, hey, moron. 1.00

00:28:23.000 It's called suspenders. 1.00

00:28:25.000 Now, hold on a second.

00:28:26.000 And didn't he even say that it was lav mics?

00:28:29.000 Yeah.

00:28:30.000 He said it was.

00:28:31.000 I can't remember who said it, but it was lavs.

00:28:34.000 I like to have a microphone and then, of course, a lav on each nipple. 1.00

00:28:38.000 Just to make quadruple sure.

00:28:40.000 And by the way, when I have lavs, there are actually two lavs on each nipple.

00:28:44.000 So I have four or five mics.

00:28:50.000 I'm just thinking about all the liberals who are like, that's like fun.

00:28:53.000 Like, he's like cool.

00:28:55.000 I hope there's nobody like that.

00:28:56.000 You know when pierced nipples are acceptable when I did it for my external woman? 1.00

00:29:00.000 Never. 0.69

00:29:01.000 Oh, oops.

00:29:02.000 Never. 0.70

00:29:03.000 I had my left nipple. 0.97

00:29:04.000 Not on a woman, nowhere. 0.98

00:29:06.000 Oh.

00:29:07.000 Piercings in general. 1.00

00:29:09.000 I mean, earrings, I guess we could talk about, but fucking these chicks with their septum piercings and shit. 1.00

00:29:14.000 Earpiece or microphone on this shirt? 1.00

00:29:16.000 You guys have not looked enough.

00:29:17.000 Suspected nipple hair. 0.91

00:29:19.000 Nipple hair? 1.00

00:29:20.000 These people are crazy. 1.00

00:29:21.000 That's the dumbest, shittiest theory. 1.00

00:29:25.000 No, it doesn't. 1.00

00:29:26.000 You don't know what suspenders look like.

00:29:27.000 You don't know what nipple hair is supposed to be. 1.00

00:29:29.000 You don't know about earpieces or this is facts.

00:29:31.000 This is like the incurious are just, they're always running whatchamacall for the left.

00:29:37.000 What do you call that?

00:29:38.000 Running PR?

00:29:40.000 Running.

00:29:40.000 Running game or something?

00:29:42.000 Is it possible his nipples chafe and he puts tape over? 1.00

00:29:45.000 He's definitely fag. 1.00

00:29:45.000 No, we tried that. 1.00

00:29:47.000 His nipples chafe. 0.99

00:29:50.000 Hey guys, every caller is completely ignorant of the ancient context ancient Jews were immersed in. 0.99

00:29:57.000 All of this young earth creationism is a very recent and exclusively American idea that turns any intelligent person away from Christ. 0.85

00:30:05.000 Just like your very own, atheism is unstoppable.

00:30:08.000 Last week, two people called in saying Behemoth in the book of Job was a dinosaur.

00:30:13.000 But seeing that Behemoth appears adjacent to a fictional, fire-breathing, multi-headed chaos dragon, it should caution the reader to automatically presume Behemoth is a member of the animal kingdom.

00:30:25.000 The behemoth and Leviathan are simply literary devices, representations of chaos that we see in other literature among ancient Israel's peers.

00:30:34.000 These verses are meant to teach us lessons about God's domination over all cosmic order.

00:30:40.000 The Old Testament does not teach that Adam and Eve were the first humans, that there was a global flood, or that humans lived alongside dinosaurs.

00:30:48.000 Check out Biologos to learn more.

00:30:51.000 Christian Foundation started by Francis Collins, lead of the Human Genome Project. 0.97

00:30:57.000 Please don't use my name.

00:30:58.000 I like my job.

00:31:01.000 Well, then get fired and get in trouble.

00:31:05.000 All right, this is a very long one.

00:31:07.000 I'm going to skip it.

00:31:08.000 Biologos.

00:31:17.000 This may be ancient Chinese secret, but I stumbled upon this while browsing WorldStar Hip Hop.

00:31:22.000 Can you imagine if the races were reversed? 1.00

00:31:28.000 He's not playing about his fucking kids. 0.99

00:31:31.000 I just like, uh-uh. 1.00

00:31:34.000 Uh-oh, he's scared, OG. 1.00

00:31:36.000 Crack your shit. 1.00

00:31:38.000 You hear this, nigga? 1.00

00:31:44.000 Go get your cans, man. 0.99

00:31:46.000 This is because of Trump.

00:31:51.000 He gets knocked out. 0.53

00:31:59.000 Looks like Mr. Wong needs a gun. 0.99

00:32:05.000 I really want to see some real-life Jackie Chan shit. 0.99

00:32:07.000 Where's like, oh, the one's no problem? 0.99

00:32:09.000 And then he starts.

00:32:12.000 Yeah, that's why those movies are popular because we all want to see that.

00:32:14.000 What is that, a golf club?

00:32:17.000 It looks like a trash picker-upper, no?

00:32:20.000 Because the mechanism at the end? 0.99

00:32:24.000 Google shit. 1.00

00:32:25.000 They're just bored and angry and dumb. 1.00

00:32:35.000 Crying's not a good luck, dude. 1.00

00:32:38.000 How to make a racist, part one.

00:32:46.000 Is it possible there's.

00:32:48.000 I'm not saying any. 0.97

00:32:49.000 Yeah, it's a garbage picker-upper. 0.99

00:32:50.000 Is there a breed of sociopaths that have no empathy? 1.00

00:32:55.000 They all have no empathy, moron. 1.00

00:32:56.000 That's what a sociopath is. 1.00

00:32:58.000 These damn white supremacists. 1.00

00:33:06.000 This is from Brian. 1.00

00:33:07.000 Hey, Gavin, Rye Guy.

00:33:09.000 Oops, what happened? 1.00

00:33:10.000 This racism shit is getting so fucking old. 1.00

00:33:12.000 White people don't give two turtle shits about what race you are. 1.00

00:33:15.000 As far as us being taught that everything belongs to us, it's so fucking stupid. 1.00

00:33:18.000 Yes, I was taught by my father, who was present, to bust my ass to get what I want, and that's what I do. 1.00

00:33:25.000 60 plus hours a week at a limestone mine. 0.99

00:33:27.000 Half of these crybabies wouldn't last a week there. 1.00

00:33:30.000 Maybe if these black quote-unquote leaders would address the real issues instead of blaming the white man, shit could actually get done. 1.00

00:33:35.000 Pathetic. 1.00

00:33:36.000 Right, and that's why I keep saying we're at a divorce now where white America and sane black America and right America in general has just went, yeah, I'm done. 0.99

00:33:48.000 I'm done explaining it.

00:33:49.000 If you want to come work on this limestone mine with me, by all means, we need your help. 1.00

00:33:54.000 Otherwise, fuck off. 1.00

00:33:55.000 No, I'm not calling you that. 1.00

00:33:57.000 No, I'm not having more than one bathroom.

00:34:06.000 This is from Gina.

00:34:08.000 Real diversity in the 90s. 0.99

00:34:09.000 No one gave a shit. 0.99

00:34:10.000 Sex bomb McInnes. 1.00

00:34:12.000 Nice. 0.99

00:34:12.000 I like that. 0.99

00:34:13.000 I don't.

00:34:14.000 Why not?

00:34:17.000 It's too much. 0.99

00:34:18.000 Why would you not want me to be a sex bomb? 1.00

00:34:20.000 I'm not fucking you. 1.00

00:34:21.000 Why would you work for a sex bomb? 1.00

00:34:23.000 Why not? 1.00

00:34:24.000 Dania Twain's drummer works for a sex bomb. 0.99

00:34:26.000 I'm not a playmate. 0.99

00:34:30.000 I'm a play.

00:34:31.000 No, I'm the playmate in this analogy.

00:34:34.000 What does that make me?

00:34:36.000 What's this?

00:34:37.000 This is a fishbone?

00:34:38.000 The link with the include, no?

00:34:41.000 Came across this gem from 93 and realized it's a perfect example of how in the 90s race was never a thing, never a problem, never an issue.

00:34:46.000 Besides Badbrain, it's hard to find a more perfect example. 0.91

00:34:48.000 Look at this freaking show. 0.98

00:34:50.000 Epic. 0.97

00:34:50.000 Also, this song could be an anthem for today's cancel culture. 0.97

00:34:53.000 Fuck you with my heels on, Gigi. 1.00

00:34:56.000 Of course, when a woman says that, I get a boner. 1.00

00:35:00.000 Fuck you with my bobby socks and heels on. 1.00

00:35:02.000 Okay, now I have a fucking raging wood. 1.00

00:35:05.000 Great, a sex bomb has a raging wood. 0.99

00:35:08.000 I'm going to say, send pics, or it didn't happen. 1.00

00:35:14.000 Let me fuck you with my heels on, yeah. 1.00

00:35:19.000 This is the cleanse. 1.00

00:35:20.000 Yeah, I remember.

00:35:21.000 You know what Fishbone used to do?

00:35:22.000 We used to go to Fishbone concerts as a young man.

00:35:24.000 They were like a ska band, but it was acceptable for punks.

00:35:27.000 What's that? 0.99

00:35:28.000 Asians beating up a black guy. 0.99

00:35:32.000 No context. 0.99

00:35:32.000 Doesn't look very painful. 0.99

00:35:35.000 Apparently it gets pretty brutal.

00:35:36.000 Maybe I'll just stop. 1.00

00:35:39.000 Maybe they're retaliating for shit like this. 0.99

00:35:42.000 Or we don't know the context. 0.99

00:35:44.000 You're right.

00:35:45.000 He probably stole an orange or something.

00:35:48.000 Stolen orange.

00:35:49.000 I need citrus.

00:35:50.000 That's a good name for a band.

00:35:51.000 What's up, we're stolen orange?

00:35:53.000 Or aren't you glad we didn't steal orange?

00:35:55.000 They used to have this thing, a celebration of heterosexuality.

00:35:59.000 Fishbone did.

00:36:04.000 I think 24-7 Spies did too. 0.90

00:36:07.000 And that is considered incredibly controversial today.

00:36:10.000 Remember Milo, the Straight Pride Parade?

00:36:13.000 And that was considered unthinkably taboo?

00:36:20.000 What?

00:36:22.000 I was trying to look for that, but I came across a BBC article, The Invention of Heterosexuality, in quotes. 1.00

00:36:29.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00

00:36:30.000 Really? 1.00

00:36:30.000 Is that why I don't like sucking dicks? 1.00

00:36:32.000 Because I've been brainwashed? 1.00

00:36:34.000 They did a really good job because I really don't want to suck a dick. 1.00

00:36:38.000 Some effective washing of brains. 1.00

00:36:40.000 Yeah.

00:36:41.000 What do they do? 1.00

00:36:41.000 Fucking stick a cattle prod up my anus every time I thought of it? 1.00

00:36:50.000 There has been an interesting development in the UK. 1.00

00:36:53.000 He calls his trannies, by the way, dear trannies. 1.00

00:36:55.000 Where the education secretary is announcing new measures where universities will be fined for stifling free speech.

00:37:01.000 Yes, we discussed this, sir.

00:37:03.000 It's called a free speech champion.

00:37:06.000 This was covered on the show.

00:37:08.000 Thank you very much for not watching.

00:37:13.000 Wait, holy cow.

00:37:14.000 What?

00:37:16.000 There's a bunch of articles basically the same title.

00:37:19.000 The Invention of Heterosexuality. 0.70

00:37:21.000 And when did this come out?

00:37:25.000 I want to go up to the author of that article, Thomas Rogers, and just say, hey, assuming he's straight. 0.99

00:37:31.000 Hey, Thomas, here's a dick. 0.99

00:37:33.000 Why don't you go nuts? 1.00

00:37:34.000 Go bananas. 1.00

00:37:34.000 You can just work. 1.00

00:37:35.000 Start by working the balls. 0.98

00:37:37.000 It's just an invention. 0.99

00:37:38.000 And then jerk it a bit. 0.99

00:37:39.000 You can wash it with a wet wipe if you don't want any dick cheese. 0.99

00:37:42.000 And then just get smoking that. 0.99

00:37:43.000 Oh, just get right in there. 0.94

00:37:45.000 I'd like you to gag if you could.

00:37:47.000 He'd appreciate it.

00:37:49.000 I mean, not wanting to do that is a myth.

00:37:52.000 So get to work.

00:37:53.000 It's sort of like Leslie Jones when they go, she looks breathtaking on the red carpet.

00:37:58.000 You're like, oh, good news. 1.00

00:37:59.000 She wants to fuck you. 1.00

00:38:00.000 She's right there in bed with her giant size 13 feet and her fucking weird spiky fro. 1.00

00:38:08.000 You know what else? 1.00

00:38:09.000 Holy shit. 0.99

00:38:10.000 You know how TMZ will catch a lady on the beach, like looking like Flabby? 1.00

00:38:14.000 They're like, Selena Gomez put on a few pounds. 1.00

00:38:17.000 She looks like shit. 0.99

00:38:18.000 Yeah, I remember the guy from Lord of the Dance was in a tablet when I was in Scotland and it said, Lard of the Dance. 1.00

00:38:24.000 And he had a big beer gut.

00:38:27.000 They would never do that to her. 1.00

00:38:29.000 They'd be like, look, she's looking like shit. 1.00

00:38:31.000 And she would never photograph her on the beach. 1.00

00:38:33.000 Yeah.

00:38:33.000 That's craze, bro.

00:38:36.000 That's crazy to think about.

00:38:37.000 I've never thought about that.

00:38:40.000 Big chocolate whale.

00:38:41.000 Beached whale.

00:38:42.000 Yum.

00:38:43.000 Fudgy the whale.

00:38:44.000 So Michael, Gavin and Ryan like you both more than their friends, so I'm concerned about gender issues at the primary education level because I have a seven-year-old daughter.

00:38:50.000 I'd like to make the overall landscape better for our girls. 1.00

00:38:53.000 I have an idea for a new gang.

00:38:54.000 I'd love your input on it.

00:38:55.000 I'd like to call it something like Girls Club or the Girls and Boys Club.

00:38:59.000 The idea behind it would be to combat all the trans ideology coming to our schools. 1.00

00:39:03.000 It would involve girls in sports and or gym or fitness classes who don't like the idea of trans dudes in the dressing room or playing in girls' sports with them. 1.00

00:39:10.000 Also, it would involve normal straight dudes who may or may not be friends with these girls during normal circumstances, who would basically intimidate these trans kids by telling them they need to be need to not be pulling political moves to get into girls' sports and locker rooms, bathrooms with our girls.

00:39:25.000 So, in a way, they'd be bullying them. 0.99

00:39:27.000 But it isn't shoving shit like trans boys in a girls' changing room form of bullying. 0.99

00:39:32.000 I feel we need a way to fight back and feel it to start with young people. 0.99

00:39:35.000 What say you?

00:39:36.000 Obviously, a very tricky movement to start.

00:39:39.000 Yeah, I think an easier thing would be to get involved in any kind of girls and boys club and be adamant that no trans people are admitted and then die on that hill when they are, when they do show up. 1.00

00:39:51.000 They might never show up, though.

00:39:53.000 I know in my league up in Westchester, there's a woman whose son sucks at baseball, but she wants him to experience it, so she wants him to play girls softball.

00:40:06.000 What could be worse?

00:40:07.000 And apparently a precedent has been set.

00:40:08.000 They've done this before. 0.99

00:40:12.000 Dude, do you want your son to get wedgied so bad that his ass splits in two and he becomes two kids? 0.99

00:40:21.000 You want to make twins? 1.00

00:40:23.000 Yeah.

00:40:23.000 That's trans something.

00:40:24.000 You're trying to duplicate your son.

00:40:26.000 Maybe two players will be a better job.

00:40:30.000 It was AFI After Your Time of Punk?

00:40:32.000 Yeah.

00:40:32.000 Okay.

00:40:33.000 They did a song Balls Will Row where he becomes a trainee so that way he could bowl in the female bowling league.

00:40:41.000 Hey Gabe, Ryan, I came across this the other day on cracked.

00:40:44.000 Yes, fully aware how bad this site is, especially nowadays.

00:40:46.000 Go to number two. 1.00

00:40:47.000 It's essentially the same useless ass who writes for a dying leftist comedy site and for a seven paragraph explains that after Vice, you are an utter failure. 1.00

00:40:56.000 Keep up the good work. 1.00

00:40:57.000 What's the title of this?

00:40:58.000 This is going to hurt my feelings.

00:40:59.000 Four embarrassing moments in the history of big sites.

00:41:03.000 Okay.

00:41:05.000 Number two.

00:41:07.000 Vice is number one website if people want to stay abreast of.

00:41:10.000 I love when these guys write like they want a job at Vice.

00:41:14.000 It was actually founded in 1994.

00:41:15.000 It's a print magazine, Voice in Montreal.

00:41:17.000 And one of its three founders would eventually launch noted fascist clown show organization, The Proud Boys.

00:41:23.000 Vice's early tome was different.

00:41:25.000 Recent headlines are neo-Nazi terrorists planned fortified compound in Michigan, and police used fire engine tear guys to arrest Georgia opposition leader.

00:41:32.000 While old print stories include Bikaki on My Face, Welcome to the Ancient World of the Japanese Facial. 0.95

00:41:40.000 Yes, that was my day.

00:41:41.000 And The Vice Guide to Shagging Muslims.

00:41:43.000 Yes, that was me.

00:41:45.000 And I designed that cover, and that cover actually is four different covers.

00:41:52.000 And when you put it together, it's one giant picture. 0.90

00:41:55.000 It was horny and edgy, at least in the sense that a 14-year-old white kid saying the N-word thinks they're edgy. 0.97

00:42:00.000 Oh. 0.96

00:42:00.000 Pulitzer material right here. 0.96

00:42:03.000 What?

00:42:03.000 You're in cracked magazine, dude.

00:42:05.000 Yeah, wait.

00:42:06.000 I'm just learning about it.

00:42:07.000 Sorry, it wasn't Pulitzer-y enough.

00:42:10.000 A 2007 issue about Iraq, that's not really me.

00:42:14.000 Signal a shift to more serious ambitions.

00:42:15.000 And in 2008, McKinnis left supportively over creative differences, although he's being called a white supremacist as early as 2003.

00:42:22.000 And advertisers had apparently grown sick of his political outbursts.

00:42:26.000 Why don't we click on that?

00:42:28.000 Let's see the proof of that.

00:42:32.000 And this is...

00:42:34.000 When did you lose your mind when you hired me?

00:42:38.000 Who's what's at the top?

00:42:42.000 Let's see.

00:42:44.000 When did it get me lost?

00:42:45.000 Oh, that's Eugene S. Robinson.

00:42:47.000 OZY magazine?

00:42:48.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:42:49.000 So that's this black dude, this MMA fighter that I was friends with.

00:42:54.000 And he wrote this terrible article in OZY, whatever that's called.

00:42:58.000 And I contact him, I go, where are you getting this from?

00:43:00.000 And he goes, I don't know.

00:43:01.000 I heard it.

00:43:02.000 And I go, from who?

00:43:04.000 He allegedly defecated in the middle of an intersection just because.

00:43:07.000 When asked later whether the incident took place, he said, who can remember?

00:43:11.000 Yeah, I agree.

00:43:12.000 You might have done that in DC.

00:43:13.000 I might have witnessed you do that.

00:43:14.000 Click on advertisers.

00:43:16.000 Just go like Command F advertisers.

00:43:23.000 Okay, advertising.

00:43:24.000 The scuttlebutt was that about half a million dollars of advertising would threaten to walk unless something was done.

00:43:29.000 That's just false.

00:43:31.000 That's just a made-up fact.

00:43:34.000 Oh, AF's article was posted, McKinnis responded to our original that he had been fired by Vice, which we since changed.

00:43:40.000 Here's his reply in full wasn't fired.

00:43:42.000 Viacom was actually worried about me being ousted and thought it was dangerous, a dangerous move because I was the brand.

00:43:49.000 It would be more accurate to say his constant fraternizing with extremists on the right and left was making advertisers uneasy.

00:43:55.000 Vice was getting too big for its britches and associating with the far right was bad for business.

00:44:00.000 Far left wasn't an issue, apparently.

00:44:02.000 All right.

00:44:02.000 I like how they make it seem like a comment.

00:44:04.000 Look how small that is.

00:44:05.000 Right above the comment.

00:44:06.000 It looks like a comment, doesn't it?

00:44:08.000 Sure.

00:44:08.000 Wow, there you go.

00:44:09.000 Okay, go back.

00:44:10.000 Spotlight that.

00:44:12.000 That guy's a good friend of mine, by the way. 0.99

00:44:14.000 He's so dumb that he thought that article was fine. 0.99

00:44:18.000 Vice was a fashion column. 1.00

00:44:20.000 His primary gig advice was a fashion column.

00:44:22.000 That's not true.

00:44:22.000 That was one of my many gigs.

00:44:24.000 So he tried to parlay that into a career.

00:44:26.000 What? 0.97

00:44:26.000 His departure email included the cringe-worthy line, there's tons of other projects in the worth, and I'll announce them as they blossom into fruition like a hundred humid vaginas in the presence of God's boner. 0.97

00:44:36.000 That's pretty accurate.

00:44:37.000 I did end up with a ton of other projects in the works.

00:44:42.000 I made movies, wrote books, developed TV, started the Proud Boys, started an ad agency, did a million sketches, did a stand-up comedy career, made a movie of that, had this show,

00:44:59.000 had a restaurant.

00:45:00.000 What about that as credit worthy?

00:45:02.000 Developed a real estate deal, started a startup or two.

00:45:07.000 I'm up to eight things now.

00:45:08.000 A fam?

00:45:10.000 Family.

00:45:11.000 Does Mark Hill have a family?

00:45:14.000 Cracked is my family.

00:45:16.000 McInnis wrote a couple books and launched a rival publication.

00:45:20.000 Failed to make waves with his new site.

00:45:22.000 That's true.

00:45:23.000 Sad subpar attempt.

00:45:25.000 That's true.

00:45:26.000 Their logo is a cartoon of McInnes and his co-founder urinating.

00:45:31.000 Yes, that's true.

00:45:33.000 There were 10,000 sites like this.

00:45:35.000 You mean like cracked? 0.99

00:45:40.000 Can you think of anything more fucked up than a man letting the woman have a guy friend? 1.00

00:45:46.000 I've heard of doing some shit for pussy, but man, that's some crazy shit. 1.00

00:45:50.000 And then, though it did actually keep limping along until 2017, only with the classiest of hot takes. 1.00

00:45:55.000 Let's see what that classy hot take is. 1.00

00:45:58.000 This is a problem when you attack someone.

00:46:00.000 They go through it.

00:46:04.000 Jermaine Dumbri.

00:46:06.000 What's this?

00:46:07.000 Guy Pals Ain't Chill.

00:46:09.000 Yeah, I don't remember that article, but it looks pretty funny.

00:46:13.000 And it's true. 0.56

00:46:19.000 Wait. 0.98

00:46:21.000 It turns out that your whole shtick is pretending to be an off-putting creep. 0.99

00:46:24.000 You might actually just be an off-putting creep. 0.99

00:46:26.000 That's fine. 0.86

00:46:27.000 McInnis's entire post-Vice career was a string of boring failures.

00:46:31.000 And so naturally, he founded an organization based on punching people who don't think he represents the pinnacle of human development.

00:46:37.000 Yeah, I've heard that theory before.

00:46:38.000 The problem is, I was out at Vice in like 05, 06.

00:46:42.000 It was deteriorating.

00:46:44.000 Took about two years to negotiate the split.

00:46:47.000 And by the end of 07, I was gone.

00:46:48.000 The Proud Boys was like 10 years later.

00:46:52.000 I can't believe it.

00:46:53.000 So to say Proud Boys was some sort of reaction to post-Vice is a bit of a stretch.

00:46:59.000 If you could see like a sizzle reel of all the Gavin McKinnon show moments, there's nothing boring about that show.

00:47:07.000 It's a person who's not very versed in it.

00:47:09.000 Pretty successful.

00:47:10.000 It started the Proud Boys.

00:47:11.000 Yeah.

00:47:11.000 And it was a wild show.

00:47:13.000 It was one of the wildest shows on the entire network.

00:47:15.000 When I first went there, you were doing a record-breaking live stream, right?

00:47:19.000 You're talking about a four-day show.

00:47:21.000 Yeah.

00:47:22.000 And none of this is to say that you should necessarily dislike vice for the actions of a man who's infirmious.

00:47:28.000 The baller.

00:47:28.000 Please give me a job.

00:47:29.000 The baller.

00:47:30.000 It's just really funny that McInnis helped launch the exact kind of publication he now thinks is destroying Western civilization.

00:47:37.000 No, that's not that unvalue.

00:47:39.000 Oh, that you launched the exact.

00:47:40.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:47:41.000 No, that's true. 0.98

00:47:41.000 I mean, they're making fun of these headlines like, you know, but they have, I mean, the Bukaki shit is like what they do these days. 0.98

00:47:48.000 They're like, could you snort communism? 0.98

00:47:50.000 He says it's funny that you launched a publication that you say it's destroying Western civilization.

00:47:55.000 That's true.

00:47:56.000 And it is funny.

00:47:56.000 That's what happens when you're incredibly influential.

00:47:59.000 One of your things that you created starts contradicting the other gigantic thing you created.

00:48:04.000 And the guy who wrote that will never create anything.

00:48:06.000 Isn't that amazing?

00:48:08.000 I mean, I can't believe that.

00:48:11.000 Go back.

00:48:11.000 Let's look up that guy.

00:48:12.000 Mark Hill.

00:48:14.000 This is the funny thing about these people who talk about what failures everyone else is.

00:48:18.000 Is this based on Cracked Magazine?

00:48:20.000 Of course.

00:48:21.000 Okay.

00:48:22.000 I've heard this podcast, and this guy is such a...

00:48:25.000 Oh, you can't find him.

00:48:26.000 He doesn't exist on the internet.

00:48:28.000 What if you've got to put Mark Hill in cracked, you numb stuff?

00:48:30.000 I did.

00:48:31.000 Cracked.

00:48:32.000 No, Mark Hill, sorry, in quotes.

00:48:34.000 Okay.

00:48:35.000 For the one billionth time.

00:48:37.000 He doesn't exist.

00:48:40.000 They often don't like to show themselves.

00:48:42.000 Well, they often don't use real names.

00:48:44.000 They're throwing stones from no houses.

00:48:46.000 Yeah.

00:48:48.000 Mark Hill.

00:48:48.000 Yeah, have you ever heard their podcast?

00:48:50.000 The guy's voice is so beta and so weird, it feels like he's like whispering in your ear.

00:48:56.000 And his mouth noises. 1.00

00:48:58.000 This letter from Keith, I can't thank you enough for riding Ryan's ass about fucking with his hair. 1.00

00:49:02.000 It is by far the most annoying part of the show. 1.00

00:49:05.000 I would say the most annoying thing about it, too, is he doesn't have any shame.

00:49:10.000 It's the same as going like this.

00:49:14.000 You know, Anthony Kumiya does it before every show.

00:49:17.000 No, it's nothing close to what you do.

00:49:19.000 Yeah, he knows the city.

00:49:20.000 He says, what is happening here?

00:49:22.000 Yeah, for two seconds.

00:49:23.000 You sit there and primp and preen every single time you're on the thing.

00:49:26.000 You have a hat on right now to style your hair.

00:49:30.000 That's true.

00:49:31.000 That's embarrassing.

00:49:32.000 And I like it.

00:49:32.000 You have a hat on indoors because you're trying to style your hair.

00:49:36.000 It also goes, I mean, come on.

00:49:37.000 This is a great outfit.

00:49:39.000 The brown with the neutral colors.

00:49:42.000 What?

00:49:42.000 Neutral colors.

00:49:44.000 This is from Chris.

00:49:45.000 Ryan is lying.

00:49:46.000 Ooh, I read this early.

00:49:48.000 I wrote a letter to your mail bag about a month or two back.

00:49:50.000 I don't recall exactly what the subject was, but I used the example of dinosaur bones and museums aren't real to explain my point.

00:49:54.000 In the letter, I stated that I didn't exactly not believe in dinosaurs, but I did find it curious the museums try to kind of hide the fact that the bones aren't real.

00:50:03.000 My letter was published on the Dear Censored segment, so I know Ryan read it.

00:50:07.000 I think he read my letter and I planned the seed in his head about dinosaurs.

00:50:10.000 Come clean, Rye guy. 0.96

00:50:12.000 That's possible?

00:50:14.000 P.S. If I had to lean one way, I would say they didn't exist.

00:50:16.000 Back the jab. 1.00

00:50:17.000 Well, you're just fucking retarded, Chris. 1.00

00:50:19.000 And this is what's happening with these people, and Ryan's one of them. 1.00

00:50:23.000 They didn't pay attention in school.

00:50:24.000 They're uneducated.

00:50:25.000 They don't read books.

00:50:26.000 So they want to jump in at the end and look at a bunch of YouTube videos and then go, I don't think they exist.

00:50:32.000 And use some catchphrases that are in some dumb YouTube videos without verification because they don't have the base education.

00:50:38.000 So they just spit over. 0.97

00:50:40.000 And you see this with women in astrology. 1.00

00:50:43.000 They didn't pay attention in science class, especially the pretty ones.

00:50:45.000 They're getting invited to parties.

00:50:46.000 But they like the idea of science.

00:50:48.000 It seems cool.

00:50:49.000 So they jump in at the end and learn a bunch of dumb little phrases about astrology and Scorpio rising and what's your sign and blah, blah, blah.

00:50:57.000 Even though we made a discovery not long ago where everyone's sign is nine months off because our understanding of the stars has shifted.

00:51:05.000 So you're not your sign anymore, but whatever.

00:51:10.000 And it's like pretend education. 1.00

00:51:12.000 You see this a lot with chicks and gays and dumb guys. 1.00

00:51:16.000 They invent a bunch of little tricks. 1.00

00:51:18.000 It's like the secret, that Oprah thing.

00:51:21.000 Secret.

00:51:23.000 This is from Bruce.

00:51:24.000 I thought you might enjoy this short Instagram video of Biden discussing minorities having a lack of ACEs access.

00:51:30.000 He spelled access ACEs.

00:51:32.000 And yes, we've seen that and discussed it a lot.

00:51:42.000 Amazing intro song, this guy says, begins at 0020.

00:52:16.000 That's pretty good.

00:52:17.000 Nigga means that.

00:52:18.000 Yeah.

00:52:19.000 I bet that means not that.

00:52:21.000 Imagine I'll do anything for love, but I won't do that. 0.89

00:52:24.000 Imagine it doesn't translate into anything sensical in Chinese, but they just want it to sound like nay, nigga, nay, nigga. 0.96

00:52:30.000 It means actually what? 0.99

00:52:32.000 I've heard a comedian say, the reason I'm racist against Chinese is because they're racist. 0.99

00:52:37.000 They say nigger all the time. 0.97

00:52:39.000 And that joke only works if you live in a big city and you've heard Chinese people speaking Mandarin. 1.00

00:52:45.000 Because if you do that joke in Oklahoma, no one's going to know what the fuck you're talking about. 0.99

00:52:48.000 If you're Desmond Bishop, it might go over. 0.99

00:52:54.000 Boopa-doopa-dee. 1.00

00:52:55.000 We got to wrap it up soon. 0.99

00:52:56.000 Asians beat up blacks too. 1.00

00:52:58.000 Asian man beats a black woman in a beauty supply shop. 1.00

00:53:01.000 Using kung fu. 0.99

00:53:03.000 You know, take my stuff.

00:53:06.000 I want it.

00:53:07.000 It's almost like this woman's acting like the world belongs to her and she can go anywhere she wants and take whatever she wants. 0.99

00:53:14.000 Hey, Taneshi coats. 0.98

00:53:15.000 God, look at her body. 1.00

00:53:17.000 It's just so foghorn leghorn.

00:53:23.000 He's not beating her up.

00:53:24.000 She's going to bite your arm, dude. 1.00

00:53:26.000 You are subdued. 1.00

00:53:28.000 You don't bite an Asian armpit.

00:53:30.000 They're probably delicious.

00:53:32.000 Exactly.

00:53:33.000 Once you start, you can't stop. 0.96

00:53:35.000 I did a Korean fob once, fresh off the boat, and she was like, first time when I moved here, I was told that white people smell like hamburgers, and they do. 1.00

00:53:46.000 Yeah, I looked up at the bottom.

00:53:47.000 When she met me, she goes, I was really worried you'd have a small forehead.

00:53:50.000 Because apparently that's a deal.

00:53:54.000 You know what they say about men?

00:53:57.000 Big feet, big forehead.

00:53:58.000 She would come like eight times in a sesh. 0.98

00:54:02.000 I decided whenever I wanted her to come, I would just go all in and hold it there.

00:54:07.000 Come. 0.89

00:54:08.000 Would she be, would she ever initiate the sex?

00:54:13.000 Or was she just there whenever you wanted it and then she'd go along with it? 0.94

00:54:17.000 Because my idea of Asians is that they're just like, I guess. 1.00

00:54:20.000 Like you have to corral them into it.

00:54:21.000 But then once they're going, then they're fine.

00:54:24.000 But was she sexy? 0.99

00:54:24.000 Pretty rare woman initiates sex with the old G-Dog. 0.99

00:54:28.000 But usually because I'm pushing for it right out of the gate, so they don't have time to initiate it.

00:54:34.000 You got no tasks.

00:54:35.000 This is from Connor.

00:54:36.000 Howdy, Mr. McKinnison Dinosaur Boy.

00:54:38.000 Attaches a video of a man who turned part of his garage into a bar.

00:54:41.000 I've also attached a link to the Instagram post.

00:54:43.000 It's a screen recording, so the quality may be shitty as Ryan's theories.

00:54:46.000 When you finally make it down south, you should have this built in your garage and make Ryan do something useful for him, serve you drinks.

00:54:51.000 Could also be a cool spot to have people over. 0.99

00:54:53.000 Want to fuck you with the new cover of a magazine? 1.00

00:54:59.000 Why the music? 1.00

00:55:00.000 Why?

00:55:01.000 Every bar in America has that music and you have a bar and you can play anything you want and that's what you play.

00:55:06.000 I said, sure, we need some kind of normal life.

00:55:09.000 He took it to another level.

00:55:11.000 That disgusts me, dude.

00:55:13.000 Rock and roll is for bars.

00:55:15.000 Wait, go back.

00:55:15.000 There's bras.

00:55:17.000 There sure is.

00:55:18.000 So he asked if he could turn his garage into a bar.

00:55:22.000 I said, sure, we need some kind of normal life.

00:55:25.000 That's the biggest garage I've ever seen.

00:55:28.000 Is that a 50-car garage?

00:55:30.000 Bra chandelier.

00:55:32.000 And then what else is up there?

00:55:34.000 You know what?

00:55:34.000 You didn't build a bar in your garage.

00:55:36.000 You built a bar.

00:55:38.000 That's just a bar with great parking.

00:55:44.000 That's a bar with a garage.

00:55:46.000 That's a great.

00:55:47.000 Yeah, you're right.

00:55:48.000 It's a bar with great parking.

00:55:50.000 How is that homemade?

00:55:53.000 You just built a bar.

00:55:57.000 You don't have a register there?

00:55:58.000 That's just a bar, dude.

00:55:59.000 So you have a free bar.

00:56:01.000 Yeah.

00:56:02.000 It's just a free bar.

00:56:04.000 A great song.

00:56:05.000 I don't like the red plastic cups.

00:56:07.000 Free bar is my favorite Leonard skin.

00:56:10.000 Fashionable or pass.

00:56:13.000 Went to an airsoft military simulation at an abandoned hospital in Vicksburg, Missouri, and took this video before heading to the AO.

00:56:21.000 I don't know what that means.

00:56:22.000 Wanted to know what y'all thought of my outfit in the attached video.

00:56:26.000 Area of operations.

00:56:27.000 I like you.

00:56:28.000 I just made that.

00:56:38.000 First of all, that's a terrible use of that meme.

00:56:40.000 It's supposed to be real cranberry, not water.

00:56:43.000 And you're not moving.

00:56:45.000 Dude, that is so half-thank you for your service, but that is so half-assed.

00:56:51.000 Not moving and not drinking action.

00:56:53.000 Like, we've seen them in helicopters.

00:56:55.000 We've seen people skydiving with it. 0.99

00:56:57.000 We've seen people fucking going to... 0.98

00:57:00.000 Going at 150 miles an hour. 0.99

00:57:02.000 You're just sitting in your car with a camo shirt on?

00:57:06.000 Yeah.

00:57:06.000 Well, Paisley, which is worse.

00:57:08.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:57:09.000 That is pathetic. 0.98

00:57:11.000 It's, you know, you need to put the music over the video too, because otherwise you hear like the sounds. 0.98

00:57:16.000 It takes away from the immersion.

00:57:17.000 And then you could hear your mouth going like...

00:57:23.000 And it takes away from the whole thing.

00:57:25.000 It's just my little two cents.

00:57:27.000 No, you're right. 1.00

00:57:27.000 That guy can kill us both. 1.00

00:57:28.000 That was fucking terrible. 1.00

00:57:31.000 You should stick to killing jihadists. 1.00

00:57:35.000 Gav prevented a suicide today. 1.00

00:57:38.000 Final video.

00:57:39.000 Even though I'm 29, single, even though every relationship ends with the woman I fall in love with telling me she's not that into me.

00:57:44.000 29, that means nothing.

00:57:46.000 Even though I have mountains of student debt, even though my job is horrible, you said don't freak out, so I won't.

00:57:50.000 Thanks.

00:57:52.000 Okay, that's good to know.

00:57:53.000 I was talking with that basketball player who slammed his head against the wall and became paralyzed.

00:57:58.000 Dude, 29 is nothing.

00:58:00.000 I'm 50.

00:58:01.000 If I was single right now, I could easily get a girl of any age, 19 to 50, and do great.

00:58:10.000 There's lots of fish in the sea.

00:58:13.000 3.5 billion, to be precise.

00:58:20.000 Church.

00:58:25.000 Sneeze video drop.

00:58:26.000 Ryan, please make Gavin sneezing a video drop.

00:58:31.000 Okay.

00:58:32.000 When are you going to use it?

00:58:35.000 right before somebody says bless you.

00:58:39.000 That's not funny.

00:58:43.000 Mr. Merrick, thank you.

00:58:44.000 Best thing to come from your show is the advice of becoming a father.

00:58:48.000 Greatest ever.

00:58:51.000 Oh, it's your baby.

00:58:55.000 I like how they're always taking information in.

00:58:58.000 Yeah, he's like learning about it.

00:58:59.000 He's like, what's this now?

00:59:00.000 Is this a threat to me?

00:59:03.000 Wait, what?

00:59:04.000 Did he say racist?

00:59:09.000 You say hi?

00:59:11.000 You see, look at my big muscles.

00:59:15.000 Yeah.

00:59:16.000 Who's that baby? 0.93

00:59:18.000 He's so handsome.

00:59:19.000 They're so dubious, as they should be.

00:59:21.000 He's so handsome.

00:59:23.000 And he's like, I don't know. 0.83

00:59:37.000 That's why they eat shitty food like crackers and bread because they don't know what's not poison, so they can't be adventurous. 0.91

00:59:48.000 Oh, he's looking at himself. 0.97

00:59:49.000 That's why he's.

00:59:50.000 Oh, yeah, it's a front-facing camera, I believe.

00:59:55.000 That's why he's like amused by that. 0.99

00:59:56.000 I'm fucking bald. 0.99

00:59:59.000 I didn't know I was so bald. 0.99

01:00:09.000 This is from Chris, how to stop a sneeze.

01:00:11.000 I'd be surprised if you didn't already know this, but there is an ancient Chinese secret to stopping a sneeze.

01:00:15.000 If you push on the area right below your nose, right before a sneeze, it will stop you from sneezing.

01:00:19.000 Then you can blow your nose or something to prevent it coming back.

01:00:22.000 See below for Walter Disney's famous illustrated demonstration.

01:00:26.000 You didn't.

01:00:26.000 And of course he doesn't include it.

01:00:29.000 Also, Ryan, where were you on that on-dip shit? 1.00

01:00:33.000 Where were you on that on-dip shit? 1.00

01:00:35.000 What? 1.00

01:00:36.000 Happy Gilmore.

01:00:38.000 Aren't Walter Disney movies your one and only area of expertise?

01:00:42.000 Does he mean Walt?

01:00:43.000 Oh, I guess that's Walt Disney?

01:00:44.000 Yeah.

01:00:45.000 Come on, man. 0.97

01:00:45.000 Space sex. 0.97

01:00:47.000 He's drunk. 0.95

01:00:49.000 That's 10.25 p.m.

01:00:50.000 I know Chris, too, but that doesn't make sense to me.

01:00:54.000 Seattle Dad stands up to race educator, finally a guy with a spine.

01:00:58.000 Please don't be some ancient meme from two years ago, 2021, March.

01:01:13.000 A white man from Renton emailed us saying that he needed advice, even some help.

01:01:18.000 Tonight, Kristen Ayers begins a series of reports about his personal reckoning with racism.

01:01:29.000 Year old white Western Washington man, a husband, a father.

01:01:33.000 And there's one more thing you should know about Steve.

01:01:36.000 I know that I'm racist and I don't want to be.

01:01:39.000 I don't mean to be.

01:01:41.000 I'm trying not to be.

01:01:42.000 Late last year, on an episode of King's Facing Race broadcast.

01:01:46.000 When I was way skinnier, he admitted.

01:01:48.000 I see a group of white kids and I see a group of black kids.

01:01:52.000 I'm going to be more on guard with the black kids because of the way that I was trained, the way I was. 1.00

01:01:55.000 No, that's called noticing patterns, my friend.

01:01:59.000 Not what you'd expect from a man whose stepdaughter, Caitlin Noble, is biracial.

01:02:04.000 Steve married Caitlin's mother, Alex, and has breakfast.

01:02:09.000 Caitlin, since she was a toddler.

01:02:11.000 Yeah, he's all I know as a father speaking.

01:02:16.000 Mounting unrest over a nationwide fight for racial justice has opened a chasm between Caitlin and her parents.

01:02:24.000 Honestly, right now, I don't really feel very connected to the...

01:02:27.000 They've stopped talking.

01:02:28.000 How about the black dad that walked out on you?

01:02:30.000 Do you feel connected to him?

01:02:31.000 He's probably innocent. 1.00

01:02:32.000 Do you know his fucking name? 1.00

01:02:35.000 Jesus. 1.00

01:02:35.000 That's where I'm going. 1.00

01:02:36.000 We feel connected to the people who picked up the pieces after my black father abandoned me. 1.00

01:02:40.000 Who's this silly cunt? 1.00

01:02:41.000 Remember the bad guy in spawn? 1.00

01:02:44.000 It's that.

01:02:49.000 Played by John Labrison.

01:02:56.000 Over the next few days, we're taking you inside a family's fight to do the hard work of facing race.

01:03:04.000 Oh my god.

01:03:05.000 That's enough.

01:03:05.000 The hard work.

01:03:06.000 So the black dad abandons them. 1.00

01:03:09.000 He raises a daughter who's not his own, which is literally a cuck. 0.99

01:03:13.000 And it's all about the work he has to do.

01:03:16.000 How about the work he did?

01:03:17.000 And the work her biological father didn't do?

01:03:21.000 Look at this guy.

01:03:22.000 The shame.

01:03:23.000 All the bad things I've done. 1.00

01:03:25.000 Oh, I'm so sick of this shit. 1.00

01:03:27.000 I gotta see. 1.00

01:03:28.000 I was told. 0.99

01:03:28.000 I don't really let black people drink out of a white drinking fountain. 0.99

01:03:32.000 So what did you make up then about? 0.98

01:03:34.000 That's my new, that's my new way to cope.

01:03:38.000 I just go, I gotta send this to Anthony Cumia.

01:03:40.000 He was alive for segregation. 0.91

01:03:42.000 He was talking about the different water fountains.

01:03:44.000 So if you were alive to see that and you're alive to see now, I'm appalled that you're not like, no, it's way better now.

01:03:51.000 Things are good.

01:03:54.000 White guy picks up the pieces. 0.83

01:03:58.000 Take away. 0.98

01:04:01.000 White guy should do more. 0.99

01:04:06.000 All right, that put me in a bad mood.

01:04:10.000 Is a bacon, egg, and cheese on a Kaiser the best breakfast ever? 0.99

01:04:13.000 Maybe you have some shitty Quebecois breakfast? 1.00

01:04:15.000 Dude, don't start fucking with Quebec when it comes to breakfast. 1.00

01:04:19.000 Your background is French. 1.00

01:04:20.000 You're going to lose.

01:04:23.000 Breakfast in Quebec is heaven on earth.

01:04:26.000 Yeah, you're right.

01:04:27.000 Actually, the food in Quebec is heaven. 1.00

01:04:28.000 Oh, fuck. 0.99

01:04:29.000 I just saw a picture of this, and they were like, remove one thing. 1.00

01:04:33.000 Wait, that's an English breakfast.

01:04:35.000 That's an English breakfast.

01:04:36.000 With the bangers.

01:04:36.000 Fried tomato.

01:04:38.000 Plenty of fried tomato.

01:04:40.000 Yeah, that's a pure English breakfast.

01:04:41.000 Where to eat in Montreal, Quebec, though. 0.89

01:04:43.000 But even if you go to a shitty, like, what's that one where they talked about the white parking lot, Crook County, Betty Crocker? 0.59

01:04:50.000 What's that one? 0.95

01:04:51.000 That Enrique had just been there?

01:04:55.000 Remember?

01:04:57.000 No.

01:04:57.000 SNL, they talked about whiter than a county.

01:05:00.000 Oh, country kitchen? 1.00

01:05:02.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

01:05:04.000 Log, something log. 1.00

01:05:06.000 Oh.

01:05:08.000 What's it called?

01:05:09.000 Betty Crocker Kitchen? 0.53

01:05:10.000 It's yellow.

01:05:11.000 Cook kitchen.

01:05:12.000 It's yellow.

01:05:12.000 County Crocker.

01:05:13.000 Cookie Crocker.

01:05:15.000 County.

01:05:16.000 Cook Crownie Crocker.

01:05:17.000 Cookie.

01:05:18.000 County Crock Cooker.

01:05:20.000 Cracker Barrel.

01:05:21.000 Cracker Barrel.

01:05:22.000 I can't believe I. Even if you go to the Cracker Barrel of Quebec, which is called, I forget what it's called.

01:05:28.000 It's a chain. 0.99

01:05:29.000 But it's fucking mind-blowing. 0.99

01:05:34.000 But yeah, egg and cheese in a Kaiser is good, but there's so much bread. 0.97

01:05:38.000 Any of this look familiar?

01:05:40.000 Ashton, St. Hubert.

01:05:43.000 Saint-Subert is a...

01:05:45.000 Benny and Company.

01:05:49.000 Caskrek, maybe I'm thinking of.

01:05:51.000 Casa-Krek?

01:05:53.000 Grek?

01:05:53.000 No, that's Greek house.

01:05:54.000 Pim Hortons.

01:05:57.000 Anyway, I'm drunk, says Ralph.

01:06:00.000 I like Miller Light and Evan Williams.

01:06:01.000 I like you guys.

01:06:02.000 You're smart and funny.

01:06:03.000 Thank you, drunk person.

01:06:04.000 By the way, when you're drunk, no need to send in emails.

01:06:11.000 Especially, Ralph 7, where you're talking about sneezing and Ryan's hair.

01:06:20.000 Bright Light may not have a completely white shelf. 1.00

01:06:23.000 Paint that shit. 1.00

01:06:25.000 Oh, Jesus Christ. 1.00

01:06:29.000 Hey, G-Funkin' Bye Guy.

01:06:30.000 I just want to say that the reason I never canceled my censor.tv subscription is because of stories like your wife's birthday party.

01:06:37.000 It literally had me laughing out loud.

01:06:39.000 You're a funny dude. 0.99

01:06:40.000 I know we live in a fucking retarded time and politics and the culture war has to be addressed, but I find you the most funny when talking about random non-political shit. 0.99

01:06:49.000 If you care to know. 0.99

01:06:50.000 Hey, ever think about doing a Bill Meyer style New Rules segment?

01:06:54.000 New rule. 1.00

01:06:55.000 Where you rant about dumb shit that annoys you? 1.00

01:06:57.000 That would be good for my viewing pleasure. 0.97

01:06:58.000 Also, any chance you can archive all your green screen segments on the site?

01:07:02.000 That'd be awesome because a lot of those are worth rewatching.

01:07:05.000 P.S. Ryan, I see you have blue blocks.

01:07:08.000 Which ones would you recommend?

01:07:10.000 Any of them.

01:07:11.000 Ryan says any of them.

01:07:12.000 Just as usual.

01:07:13.000 I just went to Amazon.

01:07:14.000 He's like Gary, basically.

01:07:16.000 The technology is so easy to make nowadays, you can't go wrong.

01:07:19.000 PPS, Gavin, I think Ryan would beat you in a fight.

01:07:21.000 Not sparring, but a street fight.

01:07:24.000 Oh, my.

01:07:25.000 I would hope that a young man has some advantage over an older man.

01:07:30.000 No, not an old man who trains every day.

01:07:33.000 That's a good point.

01:07:34.000 I don't even want to get up early.

01:07:36.000 You're up and at him.

01:07:42.000 Hey, Gavin, Ryan, take a look at this music video from CPAC.

01:07:45.000 Well, no, we'll talk about that another time.

01:07:47.000 It's ancient news by now.

01:07:50.000 Trump CPAC video drops.

01:07:54.000 He has one without a logo.

01:07:56.000 They weren't coming because they couldn't get in.

01:07:58.000 Once they think they can get in, they're coming.

01:08:00.000 And they are coming at levels that you haven't even seen yet.

01:08:03.000 By the hundreds of thousands, by the millions, they'll be coming.

01:08:08.000 That's not a good drop.

01:08:10.000 It goes along with the, I'm going to come.

01:08:12.000 That one.

01:08:13.000 Here's another one.

01:08:14.000 They weren't coming because they couldn't get in.

01:08:16.000 Once they think they can get in, they're coming.

01:08:18.000 And they are coming at levels that you haven't even seen yet.

01:08:21.000 Oh, so just the coming one.

01:08:23.000 You'd have to isolate the coming.

01:08:24.000 I get it.

01:08:25.000 And here's one cut to perfection.

01:08:26.000 Okay, he edited this one to get down.

01:08:28.000 And they're coming, and they are coming at levels that you haven't even seen yet.

01:08:34.000 That's kind of.

01:08:35.000 I could see where that would be.

01:08:36.000 Yeah, that would be good.

01:08:36.000 Just the coming.

01:08:38.000 What is this one?

01:08:41.000 Where are they coming from?

01:08:42.000 They're coming all over the place.

01:08:47.000 That would be good for anything sexual.

01:08:49.000 Yeah.

01:08:50.000 All right, let's go to the final video from yesterday?

01:09:07.000 No, I sent you a bunch.

01:09:10.000 There's a lot that.

01:09:10.000 Yeah, in yesterday's.

01:09:12.000 Yeah, yesterday's.

01:09:32.000 What's the top one there?

01:09:35.000 I see here.

01:09:36.000 Okay, working with millennials.

01:09:38.000 Oh, this one's pretty good.

01:09:40.000 But there's a timestamp there, right?

01:09:41.000 Two faults.

01:09:43.000 Don't do a funny voice.

01:09:44.000 Now, this is badly directed, and it's poorly shot.

01:09:49.000 The beauty of when I was doing sketches with my ad agency, one of my millions of failures after Vice, was that we had all this great equipment.

01:09:56.000 So the audio was always perfect, the lighting was always great, and direction wasn't always perfect.

01:10:03.000 But she fucks up this line, but it's such a funny line. 0.95

01:10:06.000 Go back a little bit and stop fucking with my window all the time. 1.00

01:10:10.000 Well, you're all the way scooted. 0.99

01:10:12.000 Well, shouldn't that just be...

01:10:13.000 I'm always in the exact same spot.

01:10:15.000 Why do you have to always adjust?

01:10:16.000 No, when you go to the computer.

01:10:18.000 Your head is in a different cell.

01:10:20.000 Okay.

01:10:20.000 I need to take work off tomorrow for a mental health day.

01:10:25.000 Did you know millennials can actually be exceptionally creative with reasons why they need to miss work?

01:10:31.000 These eccentric excuses are normal to them, and they will be to you too.

01:10:35.000 Sure, that's a normal thing.

01:10:37.000 Hi, um, I know I only get 10 days.

01:10:40.000 It's such a funny line.

01:10:41.000 He says he needs a mental health day, which I've heard millennials say. 1.00

01:10:44.000 And she should have went, sure, that's a normal thing.

01:10:47.000 But she goes, sure, that's a normal thing.

01:10:49.000 Sure, that's a normal thing.

01:10:51.000 Hi.

01:10:53.000 Um, I know I only get 10 days paid vacation, but that wouldn't count a three-week Argentinian surf spirit quest, right?

01:11:01.000 Nope.

01:11:01.000 Why would it?

01:11:07.000 Why don't you go home early today? 1.00

01:11:09.000 Nothing in your mug, shitty actress. 1.00

01:11:12.000 Go back to the beginning, though. 0.99

01:11:13.000 There's one where he says you have to be there at 9, and she doesn't know the word 9, which Ryan doesn't know.

01:11:17.000 That's funny.

01:11:19.000 Keep going.

01:11:19.000 It's a beat.

01:11:26.000 Yeah, there we go.

01:11:27.000 There's a conference call scheduled for 10:30.

01:11:29.000 So that we're on the same page.

01:11:30.000 Let's do a pre-call about 9:30 a.m.

01:11:32.000 I don't understand.

01:11:35.000 Noodle.

01:11:36.000 Noodles.

01:11:39.000 93?

01:11:45.000 Cheryl Sandberg here isn't aware time exists before 10.30 a.m.

01:11:49.000 To her generation, there's a mysterious dead zone after 4 a.m. and before they stroll into work 40 minutes late with their iced coffee.

01:11:57.000 So take that into consideration for scheduling.

01:12:00.000 That's very difficult for me.

01:12:03.000 Fine, I'll take the call myself.

01:12:05.000 Oh, thank you.

01:12:07.000 Nailed it.

01:12:08.000 Pretty good.

01:12:09.000 What's the next one?

01:12:12.000 Oh, in that.

01:12:12.000 Oh, okay.

01:12:13.000 Yeah.

01:12:14.000 Amazing impressions of black comedian. 1.00

01:12:16.000 Oh, this guy's fucking good. 0.99

01:12:18.000 This guy's so good that when I first saw it, I thought, I thought Bernie Mac was dead. 0.99

01:12:25.000 Let me tell you, you poke some massage song. 0.99

01:12:28.000 If you want something in life, you better go get it.

01:12:30.000 Don't let nobody tell you you can't do it.

01:12:33.000 You can do whatever you want to be.

01:12:34.000 You better go get your dreams. 0.99

01:12:36.000 For a bust your head to the white man. 0.99

01:12:38.000 You heard what Bernie said, okay? 0.99

01:12:41.000 You better go live your dreams, okay?

01:12:44.000 If you're white, the sky is the limit. 1.00

01:12:46.000 But if you're black, the limit is the sky. 1.00

01:12:51.000 You know, that's my question. 0.95

01:12:53.000 Why is everybody American? 0.97

01:12:55.000 That was starting out to be really good.

01:12:58.000 Oh, that's an app that I can get.

01:12:59.000 Impressions.app.

01:13:00.000 Oh, dude.

01:13:01.000 I can't believe you haven't thought of that yet.

01:13:03.000 We've been watching Kyle Dungan.

01:13:04.000 Truth.

01:13:06.000 Truth.

01:13:07.000 Okay, that's your new job.

01:13:08.000 Just make...

01:13:09.000 You need everyone that you do.

01:13:11.000 We need to see them.

01:13:12.000 Do they have a Tlaib Stark?

01:13:15.000 They don't have a Tlaib Starks. 1.00

01:13:16.000 You'll have to forego that.

01:13:17.000 But I want to see Bilber.

01:13:20.000 I want to see Mulaney.

01:13:22.000 Who were you doing the other day?

01:13:23.000 Maybe.

01:13:24.000 Tim Poole.

01:13:25.000 Oh, yeah.

01:13:25.000 I don't know if they have him on there, but listen, man.

01:13:27.000 Anything's possible.

01:13:28.000 Yeah, they wouldn't have Tim Poole.

01:13:29.000 Check out this article from BuzzPed.

01:13:31.000 BuzzPed?

01:13:32.000 Actually, a lot of your guys are pretty esoteric.

01:13:35.000 They're kind of like, I don't think they'd have Jake.

01:13:37.000 I always call him Jake Tapper.

01:13:38.000 What's that?

01:13:38.000 John Taffer.

01:13:39.000 John Taffer.

01:13:40.000 He shuts it down.

01:13:41.000 Shut it down.

01:13:42.000 Yeah.

01:13:43.000 Do it.

01:13:43.000 These pipes are over.

01:13:45.000 13 years old.

01:13:45.000 That's going to get somebody Salmonella, right?

01:13:50.000 Get fired.

01:13:51.000 Get in trouble.

01:13:51.000 Be brave.

01:13:52.000 And never stop fighting.

01:14:10.000 So many days you miss me by.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - April 26, 2021

S03E103 - MAILBAG CATCH-UP 3

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript