Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S03E24 - FULL RETARD [2020-10-13 - S03E24 - FULL RETARD]

00:00:04.000 When you check these in TV addicts, the dance don't mean to bring static.

00:00:09.000 You bring them to your grandma's house.

00:00:11.000 You back to be friendly to get loud.

00:00:14.000 Live from New York.

00:00:17.000 I'm on with Devin McKinnon.

00:00:21.000 Back into the home before.

00:00:32.000 That was the Le Beastie Boys.

00:00:35.000 I liked them better when they were a punk band.

00:00:37.000 They're fucking PC dorks.

00:00:40.000 They were great, though, that first album, weren't they?

00:00:42.000 License to Illinois.

00:00:45.000 Fantastic album, which of course they later disavowed and said, we're just kidding.

00:00:51.000 We're pretending to be total partying jock assholes.

00:00:55.000 We're actually feminists. 1.00

00:00:58.000 No, I saw you partying in real life.

00:01:01.000 Eating whipped cream off of girls' tits and pouring beers down their pants. 0.79

00:01:06.000 So you can't rewrite history.

00:01:09.000 And no one was mad at you for that.

00:01:11.000 Yeah, you acted like a bunch of stupid 20-year-old men because you were.

00:01:17.000 Beastie boy, apologies.

00:01:18.000 But I like that the feminism thing worked. 1.00

00:01:21.000 And they just said, it was a joke.

00:01:24.000 It was just a joke.

00:01:26.000 And now chicks are like, yeah, the beastie boys are my favorite band.

00:01:31.000 And I'm in a beastie boys cover band.

00:01:33.000 A beastie boys cover band?

00:01:37.000 Adults?

00:01:38.000 Who DJs?

00:01:39.000 What does the DJ do?

00:01:41.000 Oh, the DJ has the MP3 queued up to whatever the sound system is, and she presses play.

00:01:49.000 That's it.

00:01:51.000 Look at these ugly, feminist, fat, pig losers. 1.00

00:01:56.000 Yeah, so we all met through the Chicago comedy scene.

00:02:00.000 Amy and I knew each other first.

00:02:02.000 One night after Lollapalooza, we were playing rock band, and I did sabotage.

00:02:07.000 This is what you're doing.

00:02:08.000 You're playing rock band.

00:02:10.000 This shouldn't be on the news.

00:02:12.000 This should be in your living room.

00:02:15.000 She was like, yeah.

00:02:16.000 This is karaoke.

00:02:17.000 Why is this a thing?

00:02:19.000 Do they do shows?

00:02:20.000 And then she met Maggie.

00:02:21.000 The Chicago comedy scenes.

00:02:24.000 Look at how sexless we've made our women with their fat legs and their double chins and their boys' hairdos. 1.00

00:02:31.000 Just had a shower with shampoo.

00:02:33.000 It's all fluffy.

00:02:34.000 Look at that one on the left, like the host.

00:02:37.000 She's still a woman. 0.61

00:02:38.000 Funny, they perform.

00:02:39.000 She's super hot. 1.00

00:02:41.000 Oh, they make videos?

00:02:44.000 Wait, is that the real Beastie Boys?

00:02:45.000 That's the original you.

00:02:46.000 I kind of like them.

00:02:47.000 I love them.

00:02:48.000 That's them kidding, by the way.

00:02:49.000 Well, we all grew up with them.

00:02:50.000 That's just a joke.

00:02:53.000 That's their kidding there.

00:02:54.000 Okay, we gotta hear what this one says.

00:03:00.000 You can't see the Beastie Boys anymore, unfortunately, after Adam Yog passed away.

00:03:03.000 So we're keeping the music alive and we're gonna get to a new audience by pasting.

00:03:07.000 So it's better than the Beastie Boys.

00:03:09.000 Look, she's got her resist pin. 1.00

00:03:11.000 What are the parents really doing?

00:03:13.000 You know what that means now?

00:03:14.000 The resist pin with the black fist?

00:03:17.000 It means I fuck black dudes. 1.00

00:03:19.000 And they don't mind that I'm fat.

00:03:21.000 We're gonna do, check it out.

00:03:22.000 It should say that that symbol is now the symbol of I don't care if white guys don't want to fuck me anymore.

00:03:29.000 I'll just fuck black dudes. 1.00

00:03:30.000 I'm valuable for a night.

00:03:33.000 Yeah, by the way, these black dudes, they won't fuck me a lot. 0.51

00:03:38.000 I saw this clip of teen mom on MTV, and she's like saying she's a fat white woman like this. 1.00

00:03:44.000 Looks exactly like that, but obviously a teen.

00:03:46.000 And she says, oh, so you'll come down here to fuck me, but you won't come down here to see your son? 1.00

00:03:52.000 And I'm watching it going, yeah, that's what you signed up for.

00:03:55.000 You didn't know that's the way it works.

00:03:58.000 You stupid bitch. 1.00

00:04:00.000 Anyway, let's see these disgusting fucking losers. 1.00

00:04:03.000 Talentless losers.

00:04:04.000 And keep your eye on the quote-unquote DJ.

00:04:09.000 Are you trickies and TV addicts?

00:04:13.000 Are you kling ons in your grandma's house?

00:04:15.000 Grabbing back street friend to get loud.

00:04:17.000 Blowing doors off hinges.

00:04:19.000 Got me with the pitches.

00:04:20.000 And no, I didn't retire.

00:04:22.000 Such an off of the needle nose pliers.

00:04:26.000 Like angel of Omaha.

00:04:28.000 What the hell about you never seen before?

00:04:30.000 Gliding in the glaze.

00:04:38.000 Look at the DJ.

00:04:39.000 She just pumps her fist. 1.00

00:04:40.000 That's all she does.

00:04:45.000 Girls are empowered.

00:04:46.000 Girls can do it too. 1.00

00:04:51.000 No, they're all childless too.

00:04:55.000 Thank God we got women out of the kitchen, huh? 1.00

00:04:58.000 Where they can pretend to be white guys who are pretending to be black guys. 0.82

00:05:03.000 I'm a white dude.

00:05:04.000 I'm a white bitch playing a black dude. 1.00

00:05:07.000 No, I'm a white bitch playing a white dude who's playing a black dude. 1.00

00:05:13.000 This is full retard. 1.00

00:05:17.000 We're called Simple Jack.

00:05:20.000 No, they're called She's Craft. 0.99

00:05:21.000 Oh, I get it.

00:05:23.000 What she's doing.

00:05:25.000 Why is she there?

00:05:29.000 And you know what's ironic?

00:05:30.000 The Beastie Boys initially had a girl in this band, a girl in their band when they were a punk band who looked like that.

00:05:37.000 And then when they signed to Def Jam, Rick Rubin said, get rid of the fetching.

00:05:42.000 It's a bad look.

00:05:43.000 And they're like, no problem.

00:05:44.000 Bye.

00:05:46.000 They didn't even tell her.

00:05:47.000 They just got their record contract.

00:05:49.000 They bought matching track suits.

00:05:51.000 And she saw them and she's like, oh, you got track suits.

00:05:54.000 What?

00:05:54.000 And they're like, oh, hey, Kate, I think her name was.

00:05:58.000 And so they started a record label and they signed her band Luscious Jackson, I think, as an apology.

00:06:08.000 Oh, my God.

00:06:08.000 Look at her in the front.

00:06:09.000 They're getting comfortable now.

00:06:11.000 Oh, no.

00:06:11.000 Now they're getting into their groove, yo.

00:06:18.000 I bring the hitch that's beyond the zone.

00:06:20.000 We're a jock, huh?

00:06:22.000 This is so fucking Jarvis Square.

00:06:26.000 Playing a show?

00:06:27.000 What does that sound?

00:06:29.000 I bring the hitch that's beyond the zone.

00:06:34.000 Oh, that's the name.

00:06:39.000 Oh, were they stealing that thing from that Paul's boutique song where it's like, and drop?

00:06:44.000 Maybe.

00:06:45.000 I think they were doing a Miss Piggy song.

00:06:47.000 I got a beef squad shirt.

00:06:49.000 I got a beef squad shirt and it ain't no fun.

00:06:52.000 I got a beef squad shirt and it's on the run.

00:06:58.000 This is not available at our store.

00:07:00.000 Correct.

00:07:01.000 Jim is ripping us off and selling his own fucking merch.

00:07:04.000 So don't go to, is it jimgo.net?

00:07:07.000 It is JimGo.

00:07:08.000 Do not go to jimgo.net.

00:07:09.000 Do not pass go.

00:07:11.000 Do not collect $200.

00:07:13.000 He's got the dot com.

00:07:15.000 Our book today is...

00:07:16.000 Oh, he's got the .com back.

00:07:18.000 He does.

00:07:18.000 Oh, good.

00:07:18.000 So it's jimgo.com.

00:07:20.000 Yep.

00:07:21.000 Why does it say jimgo.net?

00:07:22.000 I don't know.

00:07:23.000 Because he has both.

00:07:26.000 Bam, bam.

00:07:29.000 Book today is a graphic novel.

00:07:31.000 That's my background, and it's a tough sell to Americans.

00:07:35.000 They're like, oh, comic books, like Superman.

00:07:37.000 No, I don't even count that as the same genre as this.

00:07:40.000 This is one of the greats.

00:07:42.000 In Toronto, there's a little mini-scene of autobiographical cartoonists.

00:07:47.000 Seth is one.

00:07:48.000 Chester Brown is another.

00:07:50.000 Joe Matt, all phenomenally talented.

00:07:52.000 This guy is an annoying, autistic dude who has OCD. 0.94

00:07:58.000 And it's frustrating to read his stories as an adult because you just want to slap him.

00:08:03.000 But this is him as a kid being a weird, fucked up kid. 0.92

00:08:06.000 And it's just like that Nick Kroll show with the big lips is fucking disgusting.

00:08:12.000 It's all about porn and sex and how horny you are when you're nine.

00:08:16.000 This has like Playboy and boobs occasionally in it, but it's a much more accurate and less disgusting look at being a kid in the 70s.

00:08:26.000 And I guess this is in Montreal, back when there were still Anglophones in Montreal.

00:08:30.000 Oh no, maybe it was Toronto.

00:08:31.000 Yeah, he lives in Montreal now.

00:08:33.000 That's it.

00:08:34.000 Anyway, I highly recommend this.

00:08:36.000 What is the name of it?

00:08:37.000 Fair Weather.

00:08:39.000 Joe Matt.

00:08:41.000 And obviously a reference to Fair Weather Friends and the way friends come and go when you're a young man.

00:08:48.000 When you're a young man.

00:08:50.000 Maybe I should put the book of the day.

00:08:52.000 Let me see this shot.

00:08:54.000 What if I put the book of the day here?

00:08:57.000 Or here.

00:09:00.000 Something to consider.

00:09:03.000 We have a new bobblehead here, Donald Trump bobblehead.

00:09:07.000 Looking a little cluttered.

00:09:09.000 My merch is piling up.

00:09:12.000 I went to the park, Carl Ripken Park in Maryland for my son's baseball tournament.

00:09:19.000 They did okay.

00:09:20.000 They did very well, but there's these teams they set up, these pro teams, where the parents pay like thousands of dollars for the kid to have a batting coach and a pitching coach, and they don't just choose your local neighborhood.

00:09:31.000 Like my kids' team all go to the same school.

00:09:34.000 It's the entire area, like Long Island.

00:09:38.000 So the guys were, one of them was literally six feet tall, and he literally hit it out of the literal park, which is 250 feet or yards?

00:09:49.000 I'm not, no, feet, right?

00:09:52.000 So like though, that team was getting scores like 27 to zero.

00:09:57.000 If your team is making 27 to 0 scores, you're at the wrong tournament.

00:10:01.000 That's not fun.

00:10:02.000 That's Mike Tyson fighting me.

00:10:04.000 That's not a fight.

00:10:06.000 But otherwise, the scores were like 6, 5, and 7, 4, and, you know, good scores.

00:10:11.000 And they did well when it was that.

00:10:12.000 And they made it to the championships, but not to the very end.

00:10:15.000 Thanks to that super pro team.

00:10:17.000 But on the way there, I went to this Nickelodeon new indoor water park.

00:10:23.000 And what do you call that?

00:10:27.000 Indoor theme park?

00:10:28.000 Theme park?

00:10:29.000 Yeah.

00:10:30.000 There was no one there.

00:10:31.000 There was like seven Orthodox Jews, seven Muslims, and seven black people.

00:10:39.000 There was about 21 people there.

00:10:41.000 So a couple times I went on a roller coaster ride with my son, and we were the only ones on it.

00:10:48.000 Look how few people are on this.

00:10:53.000 Whoa.

00:10:55.000 Wait, I covered it.

00:10:57.000 One, two, three, four.

00:11:03.000 Is there another video I sent in there?

00:11:06.000 It was spooky.

00:11:08.000 It was like Thanos.

00:11:10.000 Just a little lone roller coaster drifting by itself.

00:11:14.000 Turn it up.

00:11:24.000 There's some people on the plane.

00:11:29.000 Look at this.

00:11:30.000 And now you think, you go to a theme park and it's packed and you've got to wait in line for an hour and you think, God, I wish I was a billionaire and I would just rent this whole place just for me and my friends.

00:11:39.000 It's actually kind of spooky.

00:11:41.000 It's not a good vibe.

00:11:44.000 I know you think you hate the crowds, but the crowds are actually a great part of these theme parks.

00:11:49.000 Yes, it's a pain in the ass to wait in line, but it's not like traffic where it would be awesome to have no cars on the road.

00:11:58.000 And we experienced that during COVID.

00:11:59.000 It was fucking fun.

00:12:01.000 But I don't know.

00:12:02.000 I remember when I was a kid, my mom would make mints and tatties, which is mincemeat and potatoes.

00:12:06.000 And she put stuff in the mincemeat, like tomatoes and other vegetables.

00:12:11.000 And I went, mom, you always ruin the mint with all this stuff. 1.00

00:12:14.000 Can we just once have just mince and tatties with no fucking shit in it?

00:12:19.000 No additives, no vegetables, nothing?

00:12:22.000 And she did, and it was gross. 0.99

00:12:23.000 And then I realized, oh, I like the vegetables.

00:12:26.000 I like the crowds.

00:12:29.000 I like the carrots and the onions and the peas in there.

00:12:32.000 The carrots and the onions and the peas in there.

00:12:35.000 It's a total rap day.

00:12:37.000 Anyway, so that was a trip.

00:12:42.000 Do I have any stories?

00:12:43.000 Oh, is that Ripken Park?

00:12:46.000 Oh, I think there's a bunch.

00:12:47.000 It's a chain.

00:12:48.000 Oh.

00:12:49.000 So I don't think that's the one we were at.

00:12:51.000 Yeah.

00:12:53.000 It's cool, though.

00:12:54.000 I couldn't get any of the dads to party.

00:12:57.000 They were all like, well, it's 9.30.

00:12:59.000 Better hit the hey.

00:12:59.000 We got to get up at 6 tomorrow.

00:13:03.000 Maybe at midnight, you might have a point.

00:13:05.000 6.5 hours is not sufficient for you.

00:13:09.000 So I was just drinking by myself.

00:13:10.000 I ended up making friends.

00:13:12.000 I met a guy from Seattle who I go, he goes, fuck that place.

00:13:19.000 And I'm liberal.

00:13:20.000 And I go, I never even thought of Seattle as political.

00:13:22.000 I thought of it as like rain and mountain biking.

00:13:25.000 And he goes, yeah, it was.

00:13:26.000 I mountain biked every day.

00:13:28.000 That was my thing.

00:13:29.000 That was my cup of joe.

00:13:31.000 And now I live on Long Island and I got a girlfriend and I'm never going back there ever again.

00:13:37.000 Fuck that town.

00:13:37.000 I was born there.

00:13:38.000 I grew up there.

00:13:39.000 Fuck that town.

00:13:40.000 One of the fag capitals of the world. 1.00

00:13:47.000 What else?

00:13:48.000 Let's get back to these broads. 1.00

00:13:50.000 I saw Cardi B wasn't wearing a mask at her party.

00:13:56.000 She had a birthday party in Vegas where she's just barefoot. 0.99

00:14:00.000 Go down a little bit.

00:14:01.000 Look, she's barefoot on stage. 1.00

00:14:05.000 I hate when women... 1.00

00:14:06.000 Why are women barefoot at events? 1.00

00:14:09.000 Like they show up in high-heel shoes and then they're off in a second.

00:14:12.000 They're at a wedding dancing around and they're all barefoot in these beautiful gowns.

00:14:19.000 Look at their feet in flip-flops.

00:14:21.000 And Cardi B just has no shoes on at all.

00:14:24.000 Like it's...

00:14:26.000 What are you, an animal?

00:14:29.000 But look at that tweet.

00:14:32.000 Tonight, Flotus and I tested positive for COVID-19.

00:14:35.000 We'll begin our quarantine and recovery process immediately.

00:14:37.000 We will get through this together.

00:14:38.000 Bet you wanna...

00:14:40.000 I guess that's a song she does.

00:14:42.000 Bet you wanna wear a mask now.

00:14:45.000 Stupid fucking trumps not wearing a mask. 1.00

00:14:48.000 I always wear a mask, like in this clip of my birthday party.

00:14:53.000 Look, she's holding her flip-flops. 0.99

00:14:55.000 Her sandals aren't enough.

00:14:56.000 They're too uncomfortable.

00:15:03.000 You can wear kitten heels or something.

00:15:06.000 So not a lot of masks going on at Cardi B's party.

00:15:12.000 In other words, she could give less of a shit. 0.50

00:15:17.000 The black community in general don't wear masks.

00:15:22.000 I see them.

00:15:24.000 I drive through their neighborhoods coming here every single day.

00:15:28.000 And you never see black people in the hood with masks.

00:15:30.000 Very rarely.

00:15:31.000 No social distancing.

00:15:33.000 That's why it's a racist virus because it's affecting blacks more.

00:15:39.000 And de Blasio has sunk millions into finding out why and seeing how they can fix it.

00:15:47.000 How can they make the virus less racist?

00:15:50.000 Dude, speaking of black guys, I want to take a moment to explain that.

00:15:57.000 Wait a minute.

00:15:58.000 I forgot to send you a tweet.

00:16:00.000 Shit.

00:16:03.000 This picture, this guy.

00:16:07.000 Remember I always say that liberals see blacks as pets?

00:16:14.000 Here, I'll email it to you now.

00:16:16.000 I value animal life over white humans. 1.00

00:16:20.000 See, they always end up doing this.

00:16:22.000 They go full circle until they end up being the racists that they purport to despise.

00:16:34.000 So the way whites talk about blacks, they've never met them.

00:16:38.000 They don't talk to them.

00:16:38.000 And the more you know, the more black people you know, the more you realize, wow, you guys are different than us.

00:16:44.000 You have different lifestyles.

00:16:45.000 Like I remember talking to Sherrod Small about our crazy college days.

00:16:48.000 And I did have some pretty crazy college days.

00:16:51.000 And he's like, yeah, and then this rival frat, this black frat, another black frat, they were fucking with us. 0.60

00:16:56.000 So when we drove by their place, we threw dynamite, a stick of dynamite in their window of their kitchen.

00:17:04.000 What?

00:17:06.000 So you murdered like 50 people?

00:17:09.000 And dynamite, isn't that the hardest thing to acquire in the world?

00:17:13.000 Like, don't job sites have to get special licenses and permits to use it, to buy it?

00:17:20.000 And they trace everyone who's ever bought it?

00:17:22.000 That's my understanding.

00:17:23.000 Dynamite is like the craziest thing you can have next to a nuclear weapon for obvious reasons.

00:17:29.000 He's like, yeah, it was fucked up.

00:17:31.000 I can't remember where we got it from.

00:17:34.000 I value animal life over white humans, but people of color and animals are the same level of valuable. 0.97

00:17:41.000 Whoops.

00:17:42.000 You went so far to the left, you turned into a Nazi and you called black people animals.

00:17:49.000 They're dogs.

00:17:51.000 This is so perfect.

00:17:53.000 That should be a t-shirt.

00:17:54.000 We should make a t-shirt, by the way, of when Judd Appetow called Tucker and I the worst humanity has to offer.

00:18:02.000 And when you look it up, you'll see that he said this a bunch of times.

00:18:05.000 I'm not kidding, though.

00:18:05.000 We should say that.

00:18:06.000 Anyway, so my point of bringing all this up is to say that black people are different than white people in America. 0.73

00:18:11.000 They have totally different lifestyles, especially poorer blacks. 1.00

00:18:15.000 Maybe I haven't met a lot of complete trailer trash, so I don't, maybe, maybe it is the same with them in the South. 1.00

00:18:23.000 But I'm talking to this guy at the gym, and he's talking about how his mom's friends in this early 70s would molest him and let him suck their tits and eat them out.

00:18:38.000 I don't think he fucked them, but maybe he did.

00:18:40.000 And he goes, I loved it, man.

00:18:42.000 It was heaven on earth.

00:18:43.000 But I couldn't tell my mother because if I did, she'd kill herself.

00:18:47.000 And you go, well, how old were you?

00:18:49.000 Because if you're 15, I mean, it's terrible that they took a 15-year-old's innocence, but it's not the end of the universe, I guess.

00:18:56.000 And he goes, I was seven.

00:18:58.000 What?

00:19:00.000 Seven?

00:19:01.000 He made out with three or four of his mom's friends when he was seven.

00:19:06.000 And he's a short guy.

00:19:08.000 So he probably looked like he was five.

00:19:11.000 And he was just like, yeah, crazy shit, man.

00:19:13.000 Crazy days.

00:19:14.000 And I hear that all the time.

00:19:16.000 I hear about black males sucking their babysitter's tits when they're like eight, nine. 1.00

00:19:24.000 Maybe it's a city thing.

00:19:26.000 Because I remember some weird stuff going on.

00:19:30.000 What do you mean?

00:19:30.000 Well, there was this girl, she had like pierced nipples, like one of my mom's friends or my mom's boyfriend's friends.

00:19:38.000 And she was like a redhead, skinny, with like nose piercings and stuff. 1.00

00:19:42.000 And then she was like, I'll show you yours if you show you mine.

00:19:46.000 Mine, what is it?

00:19:47.000 Show you yours if you show me mine, whatever.

00:19:49.000 She brought me both of you.

00:19:50.000 I'll show you yours.

00:19:50.000 Most people have seen their own genitalia.

00:19:53.000 Show you yours.

00:19:54.000 Do you want to see your penis? 0.98

00:19:56.000 I'll show me my vagina. 1.00

00:19:58.000 Show me mine.

00:19:59.000 I'll show you yours.

00:19:59.000 And you can look at your own penis.

00:20:01.000 Show me yours and I'll show you mine.

00:20:04.000 There we go.

00:20:04.000 Good.

00:20:05.000 Then she brought me up to her apartment, but nothing happened.

00:20:07.000 Unless I blacked it out.

00:20:09.000 How old was she? 0.89

00:20:10.000 She was like...

00:20:11.000 It's hard to tell when you're that young, but I was like 10 or 8.

00:20:16.000 Around there.

00:20:17.000 Yeah.

00:20:17.000 She was like, you know, my age.

00:20:18.000 Well, you're in the South Bronx, Puerto Rico black town. 0.86

00:20:22.000 She was white.

00:20:23.000 Yeah, I know, but it's in that culture.

00:20:25.000 That's why I think it's like low-income.

00:20:27.000 Do weird stuff.

00:20:28.000 Seven, eight?

00:20:29.000 Yeah.

00:20:30.000 Anyway, get this story.

00:20:32.000 So this dude I know who teaches in the South Bronx, he goes, we lost this girl, this 12-year-old.

00:20:39.000 And I go, why isn't that on the news?

00:20:40.000 Is that racism?

00:20:42.000 And he goes, it's a whole other universe with them.

00:20:45.000 Like, people have babies when they're 13.

00:20:49.000 I saw this commercial about COVID, and it had this doctor saying, I had a young woman who had it really bad, and she was 19, and I'll never forget it because she had the names of her kids on a bracelet on her wrist.

00:21:04.000 Anyway, COVID, COVID, COVID.

00:21:06.000 And you're like, wait, stop.

00:21:08.000 Stop, stop, stop.

00:21:10.000 She's 19 and she has several kids?

00:21:14.000 Like, unless she had twins last year, she probably has three then, and, you know, they're a year apart.

00:21:21.000 Let's say it takes four years to make three kids.

00:21:25.000 So that means she started at 15.

00:21:28.000 15.

00:21:30.000 So you had a 15-year-old mom at one point.

00:21:33.000 Anyway, so this isn't like a girl abducted in the way it would be in a middle-class white situation where there'd be posters everywhere.

00:21:42.000 This is a woman where the guy takes her, kidnaps her, then they party and stuff and maybe go traveling, go live somewhere. 0.93

00:21:50.000 And now that girl is a woman. 0.51

00:21:53.000 And if you were to go, I'm here, baby, I'm home.

00:21:56.000 You can come home now.

00:21:57.000 She'd be like, fuck you, bitch. 1.00

00:21:59.000 Because she's like a 17-year-old now.

00:22:02.000 They jumped her. 0.92

00:22:03.000 That should be a term.

00:22:04.000 I jumped her age.

00:22:05.000 This sounds crazy, I realize.

00:22:07.000 So instead of the father and the brother focus on getting her back, they know she'll come back eventually, and then she'll just be like a woman now. 1.00

00:22:17.000 That guy stole her innocence.

00:22:19.000 They managed to hack into her Instagram and they found the guy who facilitated the meetup.

00:22:27.000 So there was a meetup with this girl. 0.97

00:22:30.000 It's like I'm talking about another planet right now.

00:22:32.000 And then him and the girl, they went, they smoked blunts, they did drugs, they got wasted.

00:22:36.000 And now they're going to have like a two-week, maybe do math and just fuck and party. 0.96

00:22:40.000 I'm almost puking as I say this, right?

00:22:43.000 So instead of focusing on her, they want to focus on the guy who set it up because he's the one who lost her innocence.

00:22:50.000 Her innocence is lost is what I'm saying.

00:22:52.000 Like if it was a middle-class white thing, you'd be praying that she didn't get raped and thinking I can get her and then she'll go to a therapist. 1.00

00:22:59.000 Maybe we could preserve the 12-year-old.

00:23:01.000 The 12-year-old's gone.

00:23:02.000 She's 17 now.

00:23:03.000 Right?

00:23:04.000 So now we have to get the guy who did it.

00:23:07.000 And he said, I talk to parents and the ones that care are really fucking hard on them on their kids and slapping them around.

00:23:15.000 Don't fucking talk to me like that.

00:23:16.000 Get downstairs.

00:23:17.000 And they go, we have to be drill sergeants because the second we turn our backs, poof, they're off to gangland.

00:23:24.000 So you need, it's like having a pet tiger.

00:23:27.000 Like you just got to be, get down, big chain on it and stuff.

00:23:31.000 Because it's the second you stop, you've lost that kid forever.

00:23:35.000 So what they do is the father and the brother of the girl, they arrange to meet the guy, pretending they're her, the 12-year-old saying, I just had so much fun with that guy.

00:23:44.000 You got any more guys I could hang out with?

00:23:46.000 You're awesome.

00:23:47.000 You seem fun.

00:23:48.000 You're handsome.

00:23:49.000 And he's like, be right there.

00:23:51.000 He drives to the school.

00:23:52.000 They're in front of the school.

00:23:53.000 I think it was during school hours.

00:23:55.000 And they meet him, and I think they killed him.

00:23:59.000 Wow.

00:23:59.000 They beat him for like an hour.

00:24:01.000 Nice.

00:24:01.000 Pounding him in the face completely collapsed his facial bones.

00:24:06.000 His orbital and his eyes are sealed shut.

00:24:08.000 His head is this swollen.

00:24:10.000 He had dreads.

00:24:11.000 The guy?

00:24:11.000 There was dreads all over the rope.

00:24:13.000 Oh my God.

00:24:14.000 And as they were pounding him, they were also stabbing him.

00:24:17.000 Wow.

00:24:18.000 With little, as they call it in Rikers, a sewing machine.

00:24:25.000 And now that they're not going to get arrested.

00:24:28.000 No one's going to be a witness.

00:24:31.000 And now that's settled.

00:24:34.000 Yeah.

00:24:35.000 I'm just telling you, that's the culture.

00:24:36.000 So you don't know the culture.

00:24:39.000 And when you have Cardi B interviewing Joe Biden, you look like a buffoon.

00:24:47.000 How long have...

00:24:48.000 Is that clock stopped?

00:24:51.000 Looks like it's taking along.

00:24:52.000 How long have we been recording for?

00:24:53.000 No, that's correct.

00:24:56.000 About a half hour, 25 minutes.

00:24:58.000 Okay.

00:25:01.000 Different culture.

00:25:03.000 But the good news is the masks don't work anyway.

00:25:06.000 Go to mask pick.

00:25:08.000 A survey conducted for the CDC showed that 85% of those who contracted C-19 always or often wore face coverings within 14 days before they were infected.

00:25:17.000 85% were wearing masks.

00:25:20.000 70% of outpatients reported always wearing masks.

00:25:25.000 And 3.9% reported never wearing a mask.

00:25:28.000 Hey, Stern. 0.97

00:25:29.000 Hey, Howard Stern, who's ruined his show by screaming, wear a fucking mask.

00:25:33.000 It's not that hard.

00:25:36.000 I find it uncomfortable.

00:25:37.000 I don't like it, but I wear it.

00:25:40.000 I'm becoming, what's the word?

00:25:42.000 Inulcated?

00:25:43.000 Inoculated?

00:25:44.000 Inoculated?

00:25:46.000 To this kind of a voice.

00:25:49.000 It's starting to sound normal to me, which isn't good.

00:25:54.000 He sounds like Ezra Levant.

00:25:56.000 Everyone sounds like Ezra Levant when it's the off-the-grid guy.

00:26:01.000 What's his name?

00:26:02.000 I'm in the Baja.

00:26:03.000 Jesse Ventura.

00:26:04.000 I'm in Mexico.

00:26:06.000 Listen here, pal.

00:26:07.000 I'm a surfer half the year in Mexico.

00:26:10.000 This guy's wearing a mask.

00:26:11.000 He's not got COVID.

00:26:16.000 That's an old one.

00:26:17.000 He's wearing a mask.

00:26:20.000 This was the weirdest hearing I've ever seen.

00:26:23.000 You're just supposed to say, all right, are you good?

00:26:24.000 Should you do this?

00:26:25.000 Do you know the Constitution?

00:26:27.000 What's your experience?

00:26:28.000 This decision seemed controversial.

00:26:30.000 What were you thinking there?

00:26:31.000 Oh, okay.

00:26:32.000 I get it now.

00:26:32.000 All right, she's in.

00:26:34.000 They just talked through her because she's got black kids and she's perfect. 0.99

00:26:39.000 She's Jesus Christ.

00:26:40.000 There's nothing bad you can say about her.

00:26:41.000 Zero controversy.

00:26:42.000 She never raped anyone. 1.00

00:26:45.000 And so they just used it as a place to talk about Obamacare.

00:26:50.000 It was bizarre.

00:26:52.000 And then, of course, Christopher Columbus statue is being removed in Syracuse because I think the general narrative is that he came to America in the 1600s with slaves, killed all the Indians,

00:27:08.000 and then built America with slavery.

00:27:11.000 I wonder how many people think that's the story.

00:27:15.000 Especially young people.

00:27:17.000 I bet it's 40%.

00:27:21.000 I thought the Chinese built the railroads with the bones of African slaves. 0.99

00:27:27.000 I've never heard that one.

00:27:28.000 And then the Polish were dead. 0.88

00:27:31.000 Every time I think of those coolies, the Chinese that built the railroads, I just think, is there anyone who got less pussy than a Chinaman in the Wild West? 1.00

00:27:42.000 Poor guys.

00:27:45.000 But here's the story.

00:27:46.000 The story is he was great for Spain.

00:27:49.000 He was an Italian guy from Genova, Italy.

00:27:51.000 Fantastic navigator.

00:27:53.000 First across the ocean, or definitely before the Native Americans. 0.99

00:27:58.000 He got to the Caribbean, and he was pretty rough with them because they were rough.

00:28:03.000 They would chop Spaniards' hands off and eat Spaniards. 1.00

00:28:06.000 They would chop out their tongues for stealing from them. 0.95

00:28:09.000 That was the vocabulary back then.

00:28:12.000 It was grim.

00:28:14.000 It was a horrific time.

00:28:16.000 Anyway, I think he also came with diseases, normal diseases that we have immunity for.

00:28:20.000 I think he infected the Indians there accidentally. 0.95

00:28:23.000 And I believe that that infection went up through Central America, up to the West Coast, and was the equivalent of the Black Plague of Indians. 0.94

00:28:33.000 And I think it killed 80% of Indigenous peoples of America, Central America, and the Caribbean, maybe even South America.

00:28:45.000 That is my theory.

00:28:48.000 And so the Indians that when we got here, we were pretty much equally numbered.

00:28:53.000 Whereas before we got here, there was massive numbers.

00:28:55.000 And people think that's evidence that we killed them all.

00:28:57.000 No.

00:28:59.000 We had the plague in Europe.

00:29:00.000 They had their own plague that came from us.

00:29:04.000 And so he, you know, traded spice and he was great for mainland Europe and great for Western civilization in that sense.

00:29:12.000 But I feel like in America, we should be more, obviously, don't touch his statue.

00:29:16.000 He's an incredible human being.

00:29:17.000 What a navigator.

00:29:18.000 What a talent.

00:29:19.000 Knight of Columbus.

00:29:20.000 I'm a Knight of Columbus.

00:29:22.000 But I feel like in America, we should be celebrating the first people who came here, which is those two settlements, the Pilgrims at Plymouth Rock, and then the Colonial Williamsburg English.

00:29:34.000 It was around the same time, I believe, 16, whatever.

00:29:38.000 When was the Plymouth Rock?

00:29:41.000 And they both started America.

00:29:43.000 I guess we do celebrate them every Thanksgiving.

00:29:47.000 But Italianos, enjoy your Columbus. 0.95

00:29:49.000 You're awesome.

00:29:50.000 In a general Western sense, yes, Chris Columbus.

00:29:53.000 But as far as Americans go, I really think...

00:29:56.000 1620.

00:29:57.000 1620s.

00:29:58.000 And I think the other one was around the same time, like three years earlier or something.

00:30:03.000 Colonial Williamsburg.

00:30:04.000 They went there.

00:30:05.000 They go, Spain owns this, but they're not here.

00:30:08.000 Let's just go mine a bunch and then leave.

00:30:12.000 It was a robbery expedition.

00:30:14.000 But then they discovered tobacco and they said, let's just stay.

00:30:19.000 Didn't they say that the Norse were here?

00:30:24.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:30:24.000 I've heard that a million times.

00:30:25.000 What if the Indians took over America from the Norse? 0.97

00:30:28.000 From the Nords?

00:30:30.000 No, the Indians were here before the Nords.

00:30:32.000 Oh, they were.

00:30:33.000 I see.

00:30:35.000 You'll notice my cute little souvenirs.

00:30:38.000 I got these at the Nickelodeon store.

00:30:39.000 There was about equal anti-Biden, anti-Trump stuff.

00:30:42.000 Where I was driving around, I've been seeing lawn signs.

00:30:45.000 It's about 50-50 Biden-Trump, which is a concern.

00:30:48.000 But I am in, I'm talking about Washington, Virginia, not rural Virginia, but like 95, like pretty middle-class areas.

00:31:00.000 But I got this Biden toilet paper we'll be using in the studio.

00:31:03.000 That's fun.

00:31:05.000 And I got this thing because Trump stretches the truth.

00:31:12.000 When I was a kid, Stretch Armstrong was the coolest guy in the world, and he was tough.

00:31:17.000 Yeah.

00:31:18.000 And the weird thing on the box, too, is it says, stretch the truth, novelty toys, stretch him.

00:31:28.000 But then on the back, it says, voted best stress relief toy by millions of illegal voters.

00:31:35.000 Yeah, so wait, what?

00:31:36.000 So whose side is this on?

00:31:38.000 Whose side is this on?

00:31:40.000 I think they're just trying to maximize sales.

00:31:42.000 Right.

00:31:42.000 And the beauty of living in a time that is the red dress, black dress, where you can look at the same thing, the same debate, and both sides think they won is you can sell a toy like this and you can have things like stretch the truth and then put this on the back and people like yeah I got this awesome toy sort of like if you made a Trump Darth Vader toy and they go the left would like it because he's evil and he rules the dark side and

00:32:42.000 then we also got this fun thing.

00:32:45.000 Let's see how the audio plays.

00:32:47.000 So, say I don't know something.

00:32:49.000 Like, for example, this fire drone.

00:32:52.000 What the fuck is this?

00:32:53.000 I saw this on Faith Goldie's Telegram.

00:32:55.000 A drone that's shooting fire down.

00:32:58.000 Why does this exist?

00:32:59.000 And why can't I find any information about it?

00:33:01.000 Every time you look this up, you just see drone footage of the fire.

00:33:04.000 No, the fire drone.

00:33:05.000 It's shooting fire at the forest in Oregon.

00:33:09.000 What does the caption say?

00:33:13.000 Here's the fire drone video that Twitter, Google, and YouTube didn't want us to see.

00:33:17.000 Police investigated the origin of this video.

00:33:20.000 It shoots fire down.

00:33:23.000 Now, I understand you do controlled fires sometimes.

00:33:27.000 So maybe that's what it's invented for.

00:33:30.000 But this looks really fucking suspicious.

00:33:33.000 This looks like someone starting the fires on purpose in Oregon.

00:33:37.000 Domestic terrorism.

00:33:38.000 So you go, I don't know.

00:33:40.000 I'd appreciate it.

00:33:41.000 The viewers could help me discover what the fuck that is.

00:33:43.000 Maybe we can solve it next show.

00:33:45.000 But if you're confused about something now, we'll just use the Trump button.

00:33:49.000 See?

00:33:50.000 It's got his face on it.

00:33:52.000 So, wildfires.

00:33:54.000 I mean, sorry, the fire drones.

00:33:56.000 What the fuck are those?

00:33:58.000 Nobody can do that like me.

00:34:00.000 Wow.

00:34:01.000 So Trump did it.

00:34:03.000 Trump started those fires.

00:34:04.000 Or whoever's doing it isn't doing a good job, and he would do better.

00:34:08.000 Oh, so we're no farther ahead.

00:34:10.000 We just know he'd be better at it.

00:34:14.000 Let's try again.

00:34:15.000 Should we try again?

00:34:15.000 Sure.

00:34:16.000 Maybe more specific.

00:34:18.000 Trump button.

00:34:19.000 Who started the fires?

00:34:21.000 The left or the right?

00:34:27.000 We got to put it up to the mic a little more.

00:34:29.000 Huge, huge mistake.

00:34:32.000 I just want them to suffer.

00:34:34.000 Whoa.

00:34:36.000 So Trump did the fires, folks.

00:34:37.000 You heard it here first.

00:34:39.000 He just admitted to it.

00:34:42.000 Because he wanted suffering.

00:34:44.000 All right, we're all over the place.

00:34:45.000 I'm already sick of that sign.

00:34:46.000 I'm sick of stretchy Trump.

00:34:48.000 I'm sick of my new bobblehead.

00:34:52.000 I told the Bronx story.

00:34:54.000 Very disturbing.

00:34:57.000 Here's another disturbing story I can't seem to figure out.

00:35:00.000 So the McCloskeys were accused. 0.51

00:35:03.000 This is one for.

00:35:04.000 The McCloskeys were accused after their arrest of, they said, turn in your guns. 0.57

00:35:08.000 So they handed in their guns and they're inoperable.

00:35:11.000 In other words, she was shooting basically the equivalent of a toy gun at people, which that charge I think is menacing.

00:35:18.000 It's not a big deal.

00:35:19.000 The pin was in front of the thing.

00:35:21.000 So they get charged with tampering with guns and like fucking up the guns before they handed them in.

00:35:29.000 But how do you know that?

00:35:31.000 That always confused me.

00:35:32.000 How can you tell that after she had a working gun, she secretly recalibrated it and then handed it in?

00:35:39.000 You'd have to see her do that to know she did that. 0.99

00:35:41.000 And then it comes out that when the police, the FBI, whatever, got those guns, they noticed they were inoperable, so they fixed them, made them operable, and then charged them with making them inoperable.

00:35:55.000 So that's worse, that's like what they did, or they're accusing them of doing.

00:35:58.000 So they're constrained.

00:36:00.000 Wow.

00:36:01.000 St. Louis prosecutors tampered with Patricia McCloskey's gun before charges were made against the St. Louis couple earlier this week.

00:36:07.000 Do you think you've proved that she made the gun inoperable by you making it operable?

00:36:12.000 That doesn't make any sense.

00:36:16.000 And then if you look next to you, there's the Denver shooting.

00:36:18.000 That's my next subject.

00:36:20.000 Denver local news bodyguard who killed Trump supporter bragged about harassing and confronting conservatives in the past.

00:36:26.000 So there's a lot to unpack with this story.

00:36:31.000 First, we'll see what Trump says.

00:36:32.000 You're not a nice person.

00:36:34.000 That's so true.

00:36:37.000 That is true.

00:36:38.000 So let's see Sean King's take, because he's always got the hot take.

00:36:42.000 He always knows what's going on.

00:36:46.000 Fascist confronts local NBC News security guard.

00:36:50.000 Fascist, thank you for spelling it right, Sean, then slaps and assaults the security guard.

00:36:54.000 Fascist then sprays bear mace at the guard.

00:36:56.000 Guard then shoots fascist.

00:36:58.000 Fascist dies from gunshot from security guard.

00:37:00.000 He's a fascist.

00:37:02.000 He's actually a sweet old man who used to make cowboy hats from scratch.

00:37:07.000 All the different types of cowboy hats, working with the felt, steaming it, cutting it, pressing it.

00:37:12.000 I mean, it's a rare trade.

00:37:14.000 It's not an easy thing to make a cowboy hat.

00:37:15.000 But he would make them.

00:37:16.000 He was that kind of guy.

00:37:18.000 Good old-fashioned American vet.

00:37:20.000 And here's what really happened.

00:37:24.000 W-9, or whatever they're called, the news place, was seen fraternizing with this guy who was wearing a black guns matter shirt.

00:37:35.000 Right?

00:37:38.000 So that's the guy who did the shooting.

00:37:39.000 Yes, he was left-wing.

00:37:41.000 I don't think that's the proper route to take.

00:37:44.000 I think it's more interesting that this guy, I believe, was hired.

00:37:48.000 The black guy with the black guns matter shirt was hired to start a confrontation, get beat up, get in a fight.

00:37:53.000 They're going to give him, the producer is probably going to give him what, like 500 bucks?

00:37:57.000 I'll pay you 500 bucks to get punched in the face at this.

00:37:59.000 And then we can have a Trump supporter punching a black man.

00:38:02.000 Because one of the big, the two big giveaways are one, and this was on Tucker last night.

00:38:06.000 He was seen in a huddle with the producer, this black guy, before the confrontation happened.

00:38:15.000 So clearly he was saying, I have to be careful legally here.

00:38:18.000 He was likely saying something like, okay, you're going to go over there, just starting shit with them, get them all riled up, maybe they can punch you and we'll get the shot.

00:38:27.000 I think they were creating the news.

00:38:29.000 Because I don't think the black guy knows what Black Guns Matter means. 0.99

00:38:33.000 Black Guns Matter is a right-wing group.

00:38:35.000 That's Maj Ture. 0.65

00:38:36.000 I had him on my show on CRTV.

00:38:38.000 They are a pro-2A group, pro-Second Amendment.

00:38:45.000 So let's show me the footage of him.

00:38:48.000 Going nuts?

00:38:49.000 Look at this guy.

00:38:50.000 They're not doing anything, and he's determined to get a fight going.

00:38:54.000 Show me this!

00:38:55.000 Show me, motherfucker!

00:38:56.000 Show me that!

00:38:57.000 Don't fucking touch me!

00:38:58.000 Touch me one more time!

00:38:59.000 Go get it!

00:39:00.000 Next person to fucking touch me, man!

00:39:02.000 Makes me!

00:39:03.000 Fucking makes me violent!

00:39:04.000 Hold up to me, he fucking makes me, nigga! 1.00

00:39:06.000 Makes me, motherfucker!

00:39:07.000 Makes me, motherfucker!

00:39:10.000 Fucking makes me!

00:39:13.000 That's the guy who was killed with the hat, the the bucket hat, whatever it fish is.

00:39:18.000 what's it called?

00:39:19.000 Boony cap?

00:39:20.000 Boony cap.

00:39:20.000 Don't fucking touch me, man.

00:39:22.000 Don't fucking touch me.

00:39:23.000 See, that's a fight. 0.92

00:39:25.000 Fuck around and find out.

00:39:28.000 Fuck around and find out.

00:39:29.000 That's our thing.

00:39:31.000 Fuck around.

00:39:33.000 Oh.

00:39:34.000 See how fast that was?

00:39:36.000 Damn.

00:39:36.000 Show it again.

00:39:40.000 Fucking chop up.

00:39:41.000 Got a knife to turn.

00:39:42.000 So fucking tough.

00:39:46.000 As soon as the mace came out, he shoots the guy.

00:39:48.000 Yeah.

00:39:49.000 Wow.

00:39:49.000 So what happened in the background there was that guy went over to the dude, the security guard, and he was like, get back, get back.

00:39:55.000 And he goes, fuck off.

00:39:56.000 And he slaps him.

00:39:58.000 And after he slaps him, the guy just pulls a gun and shoots him right through the eye into his brain.

00:40:04.000 So they're trying to say that NBC hired an Antifa bodyguard.

00:40:08.000 Most people, you know, 50% of the country has left-wing posts.

00:40:12.000 And I didn't see any blatant Antifa things.

00:40:14.000 Unlike the people planning to kidnap the governor.

00:40:20.000 Where is that now?

00:40:23.000 Where did I put that?

00:40:29.000 26.

00:40:30.000 26?

00:40:30.000 Yep.

00:40:31.000 Yeah.

00:40:34.000 So she's saying, yeah, it was Proud Boys who tried to kidnap me.

00:40:37.000 And the Trumps calls them very fine people.

00:40:41.000 He tells them to stand down and stand by.

00:40:43.000 And then they were going to kidnap me, rape me, kill me.

00:40:46.000 And you go, oh, shit.

00:40:47.000 And remember on Thursday, I said, if this is right-wing violence, I'm going to call it out.

00:40:51.000 I'm not scared.

00:40:52.000 But of course, look at the guy.

00:40:54.000 Look at 2-7.

00:40:59.000 Media calls militia out to kidnap Michigan governor right-wing, but members are connected to anarchists.

00:41:04.000 Now, this, unlike the shooter in Denver, is much more Antifa.

00:41:07.000 The big plug earrings, that's a big Antifa thing.

00:41:10.000 And obviously, their fucking logo on his wall.

00:41:13.000 That's a doozy that he makes sure is in every live stream he does.

00:41:18.000 This guy is a radical left-wing Antifa anarchist.

00:41:23.000 What was that pic I sent you?

00:41:29.000 Nicholas Christoph, a right-wing militia planned to kidnap Governor Gretchen Whitmer of Michigan and put her on trial.

00:41:35.000 Will President Trump speak up forcely about such terrorists?

00:41:38.000 Or will he tell them to stand down and stand by?

00:41:41.000 And then, what's his name?

00:41:42.000 I can't see it, Ryan.

00:41:45.000 Says, who tweeted that?

00:41:48.000 You can't zoom out anymore?

00:41:50.000 Oh, no.

00:41:50.000 Right-wing guys don't have Antifa anarchist flags on their walls.

00:41:53.000 Okay, true.

00:41:56.000 So I think the takeaway with the Denver shooting is not really Antifa related.

00:42:01.000 Yes, he was left-wing.

00:42:02.000 Yes, he probably hated Patriots.

00:42:03.000 That probably made him biased.

00:42:06.000 But I think the takeaway is that the news was trying to create the news.

00:42:10.000 They brought in an agitator, probably paid him to agitate.

00:42:14.000 And what happened?

00:42:15.000 Shit got heated and someone got killed.

00:42:18.000 So in that sense, the producer should be on trial.

00:42:21.000 If you hire someone to go and pick fights and someone dies at said event, you should go to jail.

00:42:29.000 Right?

00:42:30.000 It's just like we keep using the analogy, if I convince Ryan to come with me and rob a bank and I get killed, he's in big trouble because he willfully attended a crime event and someone died.

00:42:48.000 That's true.

00:42:50.000 My wife likes to listen to K-E-XP in the morning.

00:42:54.000 It's called John in the Morning, John in the Morning.

00:42:58.000 And because, and it's been going on for like 13 years, it's part of her routine.

00:43:03.000 She has her coffee.

00:43:04.000 He plays modern alternative stuff, but also plays like the Pixies and stuff that, you know, she grew up with.

00:43:09.000 And it was probably the most popular show in hipsterdom.

00:43:14.000 But because of Black Lives Matter now, John in the Morning doesn't start till 10 when everyone's already started their day. 1.00

00:43:21.000 No one's still puttering around at 10 unless they're Ryan Catsu River. 0.62

00:43:25.000 Hello.

00:43:26.000 Like normal people, not losers.

00:43:29.000 Rock stars.

00:43:30.000 So now they have this guy, Mike Ramos, and he plays soul and rap and just black music.

00:43:37.000 And he's probably the blackest guy they have. 0.99

00:43:38.000 And he looks like he's white.

00:43:40.000 But I guess because he has a Hispanic sounding last name, that's their affirmative action.

00:43:44.000 And the guy just plays like rap.

00:43:46.000 There he is.

00:43:47.000 What the fucking.

00:43:48.000 He said a lesbian woman.

00:43:50.000 And he is the worst DJ on earth, but he plays hip-hop.

00:43:55.000 And they want to be more woke.

00:43:57.000 So the alternative stuff doesn't start till 10.

00:44:00.000 And it's all woke black music till 10.

00:44:03.000 He is the worst fucking DJ I've ever listened to in my life.

00:44:08.000 You know how I just had that pause there for a second?

00:44:10.000 That's what it reminded me of.

00:44:11.000 There's pauses.

00:44:12.000 I tried to record it, but he doesn't talk much.

00:44:14.000 He's just playing soul after fucking gospel after R ⁇ B after rap.

00:44:19.000 And Seattle rap is very specific.

00:44:21.000 It's like real scientific analytical backpack rap.

00:44:25.000 And you don't really want to have that when you wake up at 8 a.m.

00:44:28.000 And the pauses, he'll say, that was Soul Sisters.

00:44:38.000 Record came out.

00:44:42.000 I want to say like 10, 11 years ago.

00:44:45.000 Really, really weird.

00:44:48.000 I don't even know how to describe it.

00:44:49.000 It's just really weird.

00:44:51.000 I remember when it came out thinking, you know, these guys are going to be around for a long time.

00:44:58.000 And they're still going now, 2020, 10 years later.

00:45:02.000 What are you showing?

00:45:03.000 This is your bed music for your radio show.

00:45:07.000 Oh, right.

00:45:11.000 What are you doing?

00:45:11.000 And so now my wife, after 13 years of doing that, she's just like, well, I'm not doing that anymore.

00:45:16.000 Get woke, go broke.

00:45:19.000 It's like, it's really about shame, right?

00:45:22.000 They want you to be ashamed of how white your music is and atone for your sins.

00:45:28.000 So they're atoning for their sins by getting some boring fucking loser on.

00:45:35.000 Did you hear Bill Berg's SNL monologue on Saturday?

00:45:39.000 You didn't?

00:45:39.000 I didn't.

00:45:41.000 It's Really, really good, but everyone's really, really pissed.

00:45:44.000 And actually, they think it was too right-wing.

00:45:48.000 I didn't like it because it was too politically correct.

00:45:50.000 He's clearly getting heavily influenced by his super liberal black wife. 0.74

00:45:55.000 And the jokes are, well, let's just watch a bit.

00:46:00.000 Ah, Jude, how you doing?

00:46:04.000 Thank you.

00:46:06.000 Thank you so much.

00:46:08.000 Thank you.

00:46:08.000 I am so excited to be here.

00:46:12.000 I have been doing stand-up forever, and this has always been a lifelong dream of mine to come here and host Saturday Live.

00:46:18.000 So thank you so much for coming out.

00:46:21.000 Coming out.

00:46:22.000 The only place a person who plays saxophone could be employed anywhere in America.

00:46:27.000 You guys all look like surgeons with your masks on.

00:46:30.000 Makes me feel comfortable that you're wearing masks.

00:46:33.000 I like people who wear masks.

00:46:35.000 That's good.

00:46:36.000 You're listening to the eggheads, the people we all cheated off of in high school, right? 0.77

00:46:41.000 Keep listening to them.

00:46:43.000 And then if you don't wear a mask, that doesn't bug me either, right?

00:46:46.000 Take out your grandparents.

00:46:48.000 You know?

00:46:49.000 Take out your weak cousin with the asthma.

00:46:52.000 I don't care.

00:46:53.000 It's your decision.

00:46:55.000 There's too many people.

00:46:57.000 It's a dream come true.

00:46:59.000 If you're that dumb and you want to kill your own family members, he's pro-mask, so I'm a right-wing guy offended.

00:47:09.000 Pro-freedom, too, to not wear the mask, but I don't like where he's going with it.

00:47:13.000 Producing.

00:47:14.000 It's literally a dream come true.

00:47:18.000 And speaking of dreams come true, did you see Rick Moranis got sucker punched on the Upper West Side?

00:47:26.000 New York is back, baby.

00:47:29.000 New York is back.

00:47:32.000 Yes!

00:47:38.000 Pure burr.

00:47:39.000 Quality burr.

00:47:41.000 Oh, Ricky took one in the chops. 0.64

00:47:44.000 It had to happen.

00:47:46.000 Took one in the chops.

00:47:47.000 Ricky liked changing the name and chops.

00:47:50.000 It's a fun little thing.

00:47:51.000 The universe has to balance itself.

00:47:54.000 Get the peep shows back in Times Square.

00:47:56.000 Oh, people can walk safely 40 blocks away.

00:48:01.000 I don't know.

00:48:01.000 I'll probably get canceled for doing that joke.

00:48:05.000 How stupid is that cancel thing?

00:48:07.000 They're literally running out of people to cancel.

00:48:10.000 They're going after dead people now.

00:48:13.000 They're trying to cancel John Wayne.

00:48:16.000 It's like, yeah, dude, God did that 40 years ago.

00:48:21.000 They're all up in arms.

00:48:23.000 Did you hear what he said?

00:48:24.000 In that interview in Playboy in 1970?

00:48:28.000 Can you believe that?

00:48:30.000 It's like, yeah.

00:48:32.000 He was born in 1907.

00:48:35.000 That's what these people sounded like.

00:48:38.000 You never talked to your grandparents and brought up the wrong subject, and all of a sudden it went off the rails.

00:48:44.000 Oh, grandma.

00:48:45.000 Just keep making the cookies.

00:48:47.000 Yeah, you don't bring up race or religion with your grandparents.

00:48:50.000 You keep it simple.

00:48:53.000 Anyway, I know.

00:48:56.000 I guess my grandparents are older.

00:48:58.000 I don't know.

00:48:59.000 Plowing ahead.

00:49:02.000 Plowing ahead.

00:49:04.000 Let's talk white women here, shall we? 1.00

00:49:06.000 Let's talk white women. 1.00

00:49:07.000 White women, amazing, amazing, your accomplishments over the last few years. 0.99

00:49:11.000 I got to tell you, the way white women somehow hijacked the woke movement, generals around the world should be analyzing this. 0.81

00:49:20.000 Just to refresh your memory, the woke movement was supposed to be about people of color not getting opportunities, the at-bats that they deserved, finally making that happen. 1.00

00:49:29.000 Just who resents white women the most in America? 1.00

00:49:34.000 White women? 1.00

00:49:35.000 Also white women? 1.00

00:49:36.000 Black women. 1.00

00:49:37.000 Oh, boy.

00:49:38.000 They don't like when black women show up at their things. 1.00

00:49:41.000 They don't like when gay. 1.00

00:49:42.000 Black people in general don't like when gays show up to Black Lives Matter and say, yeah, equality for us too.

00:49:47.000 And they're like, uh, what are you doing here?

00:49:50.000 You were never a slave.

00:49:51.000 You're a gay. 1.00

00:49:52.000 You are gay. 1.00

00:49:53.000 You eat the poo-poo. 1.00

00:49:55.000 Why are you here?

00:49:57.000 What are you doing here?

00:50:04.000 She just swung their Gucci-booted feet over the fence of oppression. 1.00

00:50:08.000 Men don't mad at Gucci boots.

00:50:10.000 We think they look sexy.

00:50:13.000 Stuck themselves at the front of the line.

00:50:17.000 I don't know how they did it.

00:50:19.000 I've never heard so much complaining in my life from white women. 1.00

00:50:22.000 My name is going to hurt.

00:50:30.000 Trash and white guys, the nerve. 0.99

00:50:33.000 Where's the camera?

00:50:33.000 The nerve of you white women.

00:50:37.000 Let me, listen, I don't want to speak ill of my bitches here, okay? 1.00

00:50:42.000 I know.

00:50:42.000 But let's go back in history here, okay?

00:50:47.000 You guys stood by us toxic white males through centuries of our crimes against humanity. 0.91

00:50:54.000 You rolled around in the blood muddy.

00:50:56.000 We had crimes against humanity.

00:50:58.000 We were horrible people as white guys.

00:51:00.000 Our toxic masculinity being shut up, sit down next to me and take your talking to him. 1.00

00:51:17.000 Thank you.

00:51:18.000 Yay, white women suck. 1.00

00:51:20.000 Remember that?

00:51:21.000 Hold on a sec.

00:51:22.000 Remember that after Trump won, there was a big, like, white woman, what have you done? 1.00

00:51:27.000 And white women need to answer for their role in this, in electing Trump. 1.00

00:51:32.000 And a lot of black women holding signs saying, like, white women need to apologize or whatever. 1.00

00:51:38.000 We need to recognize the influence white women had on this election. 1.00

00:51:42.000 It was a big thing.

00:51:44.000 Picking on white women.

00:51:46.000 That's why I stopped saying Karen.

00:51:48.000 I do kind of remember that, yeah.

00:51:50.000 Anyway, go back to his monologue.

00:51:51.000 Because this is the next part is what got him into big trouble.

00:51:53.000 Been in New York for about a year.

00:51:55.000 You know, I was here last year.

00:51:57.000 I was shooting a movie.

00:51:58.000 Had a great time with Judd Appetow, Pete Davidson, and all the guys.

00:52:02.000 Yeah, had a great time.

00:52:04.000 You liked that movie, right?

00:52:05.000 Yeah, I thought it was pretty good.

00:52:07.000 13 years, and I immediately noticed how extra crowded this city was.

00:52:10.000 I was getting all claustrophobic.

00:52:12.000 I'm like, what's going on?

00:52:12.000 How much people not using safe sex and making all these babies, you know?

00:52:18.000 So I finally walked up to this old New York door guy and I was just like, dude, what's going on?

00:52:21.000 What's with all these people here?

00:52:23.000 And he was just like, oh, no, no, no, don't worry.

00:52:24.000 He goes, it's June.

00:52:25.000 He goes, it's Pride Month. 0.99

00:52:27.000 And I'm like, what's that?

00:52:29.000 You know, I'm 52.

00:52:30.000 I never heard of it, right?

00:52:32.000 Didn't have that when I was a kid.

00:52:33.000 He goes, oh, it's Gay Pride Month.

00:52:36.000 And I was just like, oh.

00:52:41.000 Dude, you know when you're just like stuck in the matrix and you just can't, everything's just pressed up, you can't see anything.

00:52:47.000 And then somebody gives you that little nugget of information that just pulls it back?

00:52:50.000 Like, why is it so crowded?

00:52:51.000 It's Gay Pride Month.

00:52:54.000 TikToks! 0.90

00:52:55.000 0% body fat!

00:52:57.000 Two guys kissing!

00:52:59.000 Rainbow flags!

00:53:00.000 Ah!

00:53:02.000 I didn't know that!

00:53:03.000 That's what I learned.

00:53:04.000 The month of June is Gay Pride Month.

00:53:07.000 That's a little long, don't you think?

00:53:11.000 For a group of people that were never enslaved.

00:53:18.000 He's becoming a black comedian.

00:53:21.000 He's like, white woman, what did you ever do? 0.87

00:53:24.000 You affected our movement.

00:53:25.000 We was slaves.

00:53:26.000 We was kings.

00:53:28.000 And now he's like, motherfucking gays got a whole monk. 1.00

00:53:31.000 And in June, shit.

00:53:34.000 I was a slave for 400 years.

00:53:35.000 I got motherfucking February.

00:53:39.000 Yeah.

00:53:39.000 Well, he used to do Def Jam and all the black circuits and stuff like that.

00:53:43.000 Remember the black shows?

00:53:44.000 Yeah.

00:53:45.000 He was the ginger guy amongst Tommy Davidson and all this stuff.

00:53:50.000 Dude, black people were actually enslaved.

00:53:52.000 They get February.

00:53:54.000 They get 28 days of overcast weather.

00:53:58.000 Sun goes down at 4 in the afternoon.

00:54:00.000 Everybody's shivering.

00:54:02.000 Nobody wants to go on the parade.

00:54:09.000 So that's why he's in trouble.

00:54:11.000 Because he said that June is too fun and long for the gays.

00:54:17.000 Isn't there...

00:54:18.000 What's Juneteenth?

00:54:19.000 That's celebrating the black right to vote, right, on June 19th?

00:54:24.000 What did you think of that monologue, Ryan?

00:54:26.000 You're a comedy fan.

00:54:27.000 I was all right, dude.

00:54:28.000 I mean, I don't know.

00:54:30.000 I don't know how to do his, like, his, you know, his voice.

00:54:32.000 I'm just trying to think about how to do his voice the whole time.

00:54:35.000 You know, it didn't really make me laugh.

00:54:37.000 I mean, there was some fun.

00:54:38.000 I like seeing him have fun, but, you know, I didn't think it was that funny.

00:54:42.000 But I enjoy him.

00:54:43.000 Just kind of.

00:54:44.000 I was offended.

00:54:45.000 I didn't like the masks are going to kill you bullshit.

00:54:48.000 You sound like Howard Stern.

00:54:49.000 I didn't like the white women. 1.00

00:54:52.000 Fuck white women. 1.00

00:54:53.000 They shouldn't be part of any kind of social justice movement.

00:54:57.000 I didn't like the white people stole everything. 0.81

00:55:00.000 And I didn't like the bringing up slavery in February isn't good enough.

00:55:06.000 I did like the Pride Month is ridiculous. 1.00

00:55:10.000 And that's about it.

00:55:11.000 So he's left wing.

00:55:13.000 He's a liberal.

00:55:14.000 You could tell he's afraid.

00:55:17.000 Like he's afraid to say something too crazy.

00:55:20.000 You know?

00:55:20.000 You ever know that?

00:55:21.000 The Rick Moranis bit was perfect Bill Burr.

00:55:24.000 That was not his black wife. 1.00

00:55:25.000 The rest was his black wife. 1.00

00:55:26.000 Because it wasn't apologetic.

00:55:27.000 He's becoming a black female comedian.

00:55:29.000 This is a guy who nailed it.

00:55:30.000 He's becoming Tiffany Hadish.

00:55:33.000 Oh, that was brilliant because I was offended by this.

00:55:36.000 And I also thought it was hilarious.

00:55:38.000 Because he said, these pedophiles, they fuck a kid. 0.89

00:55:41.000 And you're going to ruin your life, the kid's life, everyone's life.

00:55:43.000 You're going to jail.

00:55:44.000 You're going to get killed in jail.

00:55:45.000 It must feel really good.

00:55:46.000 It must be really worth it.

00:55:48.000 Yeah.

00:55:48.000 To be worth all that.

00:55:50.000 Yeah, that was a great one because it seemed like he didn't care, you know?

00:55:54.000 And that's the first time in my life, I think, I was genuinely offended to my core, pissed off, and laughing at the same time.

00:56:01.000 Carlin used to do that.

00:56:03.000 That's the only other person, but you're right.

00:56:04.000 I disagree with him on religion and golf.

00:56:08.000 He shout on golf and I was like, fuck you, but haha.

00:56:11.000 Golf is awesome.

00:56:12.000 You know, oh, here's the thing.

00:56:13.000 I went played golf on the weekend and I wasn't near my home.

00:56:17.000 So I had to go to this, a non-members thing, and it was on an army base.

00:56:23.000 So it was the most blacks I've ever seen playing golf in my life. 1.00

00:56:26.000 It was probably like 30% blacks.

00:56:30.000 And so we're at the driving range and I'm listening to people.

00:56:33.000 And I noticed, especially with younger white men, I suck was just a common refrain.

00:56:39.000 Fuck me, you stupid piece of shit.

00:56:42.000 And I'm garbage.

00:56:43.000 I'm fucking garbage.

00:56:44.000 I don't know if it's because I'm hungover.

00:56:45.000 I suck shit.

00:56:47.000 And I remember as a kid, my dad would like be banging his club in the green going, you fucking asshole, James.

00:56:52.000 You asshole.

00:56:54.000 Fuck me.

00:56:56.000 And when people ask my dad about his game, he goes, it's pathetic.

00:57:00.000 Pathetic.

00:57:01.000 I'm one of the worst players I've ever been around.

00:57:05.000 And you never hear that from blacks. 0.89

00:57:07.000 Like a black guy at the driving range will just ground it and it'll go eight feet and he won't do anything. 1.00

00:57:12.000 He'll just like get the next ball.

00:57:15.000 But the white guys will be going, can you believe how shit I am?

00:57:17.000 I've been playing this my whole life and I'm fucking garbage.

00:57:22.000 And I bet you it's the same with Japanese. 1.00

00:57:24.000 I bet they don't self-deprecate.

00:57:25.000 I bet Hispanics don't. 1.00

00:57:27.000 White people love to shit on themselves. 1.00

00:57:30.000 And maybe that's why Christianity did so well as a religion because we like to self-flagellate. 0.91

00:57:36.000 I noticed that with video games too.

00:57:37.000 It's like, yeah, like my friend BK and Larry would throw their controllers and tell themselves they suck.

00:57:44.000 And then I remember a lot of black friends just being like, yo, that's bullshit. 1.00

00:57:47.000 And they blame the game.

00:57:48.000 It's the game's fault.

00:57:50.000 Oh, really?

00:57:50.000 Yeah, this is bullshit.

00:57:51.000 I'm being fucked over.

00:57:53.000 Yeah, I noticed that with my son and his friends, when they fuck up, they call it a glitch.

00:57:57.000 Right, yeah, yeah.

00:57:58.000 It's not like that.

00:57:58.000 Like God screwed up the program.

00:58:00.000 Stupid game.

00:58:01.000 Even when we play pool, which is just simple physics, they go, what a glitch.

00:58:06.000 So God was like, hey, anyway, are you going to...

00:58:08.000 Oh, fuck.

00:58:08.000 I forgot the pool game.

00:58:10.000 I don't know.

00:58:10.000 Red ball in?

00:58:11.000 Was it a red ball?

00:58:13.000 No, God, pay attention to my pool game.

00:58:15.000 You're making me look like I'm not good at pool.

00:58:19.000 Let's do a little Biden dip, shall we?

00:58:24.000 He said in a speech.

00:58:28.000 Ali Alexander is on this whole thing about how he Has Parkinson's, and I think it's really interesting.

00:58:33.000 But Trump was 1-7.

00:58:37.000 Trump is like, this guy has dementia.

00:58:40.000 And it's quite possible that both Allie and Trump are right.

00:58:43.000 He has Parkinson's and dementia.

00:58:46.000 Wait, that's not the right one.

00:58:47.000 Dimensionsons.

00:58:49.000 That's the wrong one.

00:58:50.000 I think it's the front page of the Daily Mail.

00:58:53.000 I think it's the top story.

00:58:55.000 Maybe Daily Mail UK.

00:58:59.000 Probably have that bookmarked.

00:59:01.000 Oh, I see what they do.

00:59:03.000 I click the link as the cover story, but when the cover story changes, then the link changes.

00:59:08.000 That's weird.

00:59:09.000 That makes sense.

00:59:10.000 Keep going down.

00:59:11.000 It'll be up there.

00:59:14.000 There we go.

00:59:14.000 Trump says Biden has dementia and it's rapidly getting worse after he forgets that Mormon senator met Romney's name and again says he's running for Senate.

00:59:23.000 Yeah, so now go back up to 1.6.

00:59:25.000 He says he's running for Senate.

00:59:29.000 I'm not good with American politics, but I know the difference between a senator and a president.

00:59:36.000 I'm running as a proud Democrat for the Senate.

00:59:40.000 You know, we have to come together in the United States.

00:59:43.000 I'm running as a proud Democrat.

00:59:45.000 Benny Johnson, this is just sad.

00:59:47.000 Benny's on fucking fire these days.

00:59:49.000 I knew him when he was starting out.

00:59:51.000 Very fun guy to get a beer with.

00:59:53.000 But since he had a kid, he's just like, he did that commercial with that chick in the red dress walking through Baltimore.

01:00:01.000 And he just did a new one now that Trump retweeted where this guy running, little tough-looking little veteran dude, goes to Maxine Waters' mansion and says, Maxine does not live here.

01:00:14.000 And it's the same kind of commercial.

01:00:15.000 It's him walking.

01:00:17.000 I'm telling you guys, if you want to make money, get your shit together, you want your career to take off, keep going.

01:00:26.000 Have a baby.

01:00:28.000 Nothing gets you off the couch.

01:00:29.000 There it is.

01:00:30.000 There it is.

01:00:33.000 I'm Joe Collins.

01:00:34.000 I'm running for Congress against Maxine Waters.

01:00:36.000 Do you know where I am right now?

01:00:38.000 Maxine Waters' $6 million mansion.

01:00:42.000 Do you know where I'm not right now?

01:00:44.000 Maxine Waters District.

01:00:46.000 Yep, that's right.

01:00:47.000 Maxine does not live in her district, but I do.

01:00:50.000 I was born right here in South LA, in a place Maxine refuses to live.

01:00:54.000 Maxine Waters does not drink our water.

01:00:57.000 She does not breathe our air. 0.79

01:00:58.000 And while she sits here in her mansion, our district is in ruins.

01:01:02.000 Let me show you.

01:01:06.000 I'm not a fan of the shoes.

01:01:09.000 This is South LA.

01:01:11.000 I was born here.

01:01:12.000 I said you were born here twice.

01:01:15.000 Maxine Waters has been in office 44 years.

01:01:18.000 Has anything got better around here?

01:01:20.000 I can tell you firsthand that it hasn't.

01:01:22.000 I survived the drive-by shooting in this house when I was a child.

01:01:29.000 That was my upbringing.

01:01:30.000 And where was Maxine Waters? 0.58

01:01:32.000 Nowhere to be found.

01:01:33.000 I survived Maxine's district.

01:01:35.000 Graduated high school.

01:01:36.000 Went to want to join the U.S. Navy.

01:01:38.000 I fuck for this country.

01:01:40.000 But while I was fighting for this country, Maxine Waters could not be bothered to fight for her own district here in America. 0.98

01:01:46.000 And when I returned from war, I came back to my community as a war zone.

01:01:51.000 And why doesn't Maxine Waters want to live in her own district? 1.00

01:01:54.000 Because she doesn't.

01:01:56.000 She's rich. 0.99

01:01:58.000 Why is she rich, though? 1.00

01:01:59.000 Why do politicians who make 200 grand a year worth hundreds of millions of dollars?

01:02:04.000 That should be a documentary in and of itself right there.

01:02:06.000 Anyway, tangent.

01:02:08.000 Check out Joe Biden saying breasts instead of best.

01:02:16.000 Everywhere I've been hearing all around the country.

01:02:18.000 You're trying your breast, but it never feels like enough.

01:02:22.000 Everywhere I've been hearing all around the country.

01:02:25.000 His wife, after she said that, his wife looked down at her tits and she felt terrible. 0.99

01:02:28.000 It's not enough, is it?

01:02:30.000 They are pretty small.

01:02:32.000 And then you have number one nine, Newt Gengrich, saying that he should do the Rogan show.

01:02:38.000 Of course he should.

01:02:40.000 And of course he won't.

01:02:43.000 It's a top one.

01:02:45.000 But what's below that?

01:02:46.000 Bob DeBono.

01:02:47.000 Best Trump impression probably ever.

01:02:50.000 That's what they call it.

01:02:58.000 Terrible audio.

01:02:59.000 Great audio.

01:03:01.000 He's been shitting on Trump lately.

01:03:02.000 I don't like that.

01:03:03.000 I fucking hate it.

01:03:04.000 So he makes his bones doing this, and then he shits on it.

01:03:10.000 It's terrible.

01:03:11.000 What a dick.

01:03:12.000 It really takes the fun out of it.

01:03:13.000 Yeah.

01:03:14.000 Okay, go back.

01:03:16.000 So to 1.9.

01:03:19.000 Newt Gingrich, man who's not allowed to mention Soros.

01:03:22.000 President Trump should replace the Commission's canceled second debate by accepting Joe Rogan's offer and inviting Biden to join them.

01:03:28.000 Let Biden choose the topics and 20-foot social spacing.

01:03:31.000 Give Biden no excuse to say no.

01:03:33.000 Everyone's talking about the Dems packing the Supreme Court, meaning increasing the number of Supreme Court justices so they can then again have a majority.

01:03:41.000 It's been nine, I think, for like 100 years.

01:03:46.000 I do think that's their intention.

01:03:47.000 I don't think they'll be able to do that.

01:03:49.000 You can't just make it so.

01:03:51.000 Checks and balances, right?

01:03:53.000 Yeah.

01:03:56.000 Okay, let's do a little bit on the Lincoln Project.

01:04:00.000 They want me to go back to Africa where I came from.

01:04:06.000 This is 2-3?

01:04:07.000 Oh, no, no, no.

01:04:09.000 Let's not do 2-3.

01:04:11.000 2-4.

01:04:12.000 Okay, 2-4.

01:04:13.000 The Lincoln Project were on 60 Minutes last night, and it was...

01:04:17.000 60 Minutes, just stop for a second.

01:04:19.000 60 Minutes is just pure propaganda.

01:04:22.000 Even a story about grizzly bears is somehow linked to climate change and Donald Trump.

01:04:29.000 Every single story is about how America's worse off with Donald Trump, no matter how far off it starts.

01:04:35.000 It could be about how wonderful China is and how mean he is for saying the virus started there.

01:04:41.000 And of course, they devote the first part of the show to the Lincoln Project.

01:04:46.000 And show that picture, by the way, again, that Benny put up where he goes, this is a before picture for a hair loss commercial.

01:04:59.000 Are you just about ready there?

01:05:01.000 This is the before photo of every ad for weight loss and male pattern baldness on local access.

01:05:06.000 So that's the Lincoln Project, and it's what's his name?

01:05:11.000 Is it Bill Crystal?

01:05:12.000 I forget his name.

01:05:13.000 But it's all these loser, never Trumpers who wouldn't have a career if it wasn't for shitting on Trump because the left loves them because they go, look, even the right hates him.

01:05:22.000 But they're not.

01:05:23.000 They're rhinos, Republicans in name only. 0.90

01:05:25.000 Look at their weak body language.

01:05:28.000 You can see the seven-year-olds who are wedged in elementary school.

01:05:34.000 Look at their hands.

01:05:36.000 So uncomfortable with themselves.

01:05:39.000 Fucking loser traitors, pussies, Uncle Toms. 1.00

01:05:44.000 That's what they are.

01:05:46.000 But anyway, let's hear their plan to deport me.

01:05:56.000 Make it full screen.

01:05:57.000 Wait, go back, go back.

01:06:00.000 Maybe I should have green screened this.

01:06:02.000 How long is it?

01:06:03.000 Too late?

01:06:03.000 43 seconds.

01:06:04.000 Oh, that's too short.

01:06:07.000 So wait, go back to the tweet.

01:06:08.000 You got to see the setup here.

01:06:12.000 Thought of the day.

01:06:13.000 If Gavin McInnes was named Ahmad, how soon would he be deported?

01:06:18.000 So they managed to throw in a bit of calling Americans Islamophobes while they deport me.

01:06:30.000 Ryan, can you stop fucking around, please?

01:06:32.000 We can't read it.

01:06:33.000 You're in too close.

01:06:36.000 These are the Proud Boys.

01:06:39.000 The FBI categorizes the Proud Boys as an extremist group with ties to white nationalism.

01:06:46.000 That's not true.

01:06:51.000 He will kill you.

01:06:52.000 That's the Proud Boys in a nutshell.

01:06:54.000 We will kill you.

01:06:55.000 We look nice.

01:06:56.000 We seem soft.

01:06:57.000 We have boys in our name.

01:06:58.000 But like Bill the Butcher and the Bowery boys, we will assassinate you. 1.00

01:07:05.000 Proud boys.

01:07:06.000 Stand back and stand by.

01:07:12.000 Yeah, everyone gives me shit too for that verbiage.

01:07:16.000 There was Enrique Tario did a long live, whatever you call it, with Tim Poole.

01:07:23.000 And Tim Poole was like, well, here, let's find it.

01:07:26.000 I think it's in the notes.

01:07:32.000 Where is it now?

01:07:35.000 I can't get mad at it.

01:07:37.000 I'm reading as I talk.

01:07:40.000 Where the fuck?

01:07:54.000 Yeah, we'll check my parlor.

01:07:57.000 Okay.

01:08:00.000 Lincoln Project, Proud Boys.

01:08:03.000 About the Kidnap, we already got that.

01:08:05.000 Brianna Taylor.

01:08:06.000 Totally fake interview.

01:08:08.000 Martyr.

01:08:14.000 There it is.

01:08:14.000 Click on that.

01:08:18.000 So in about the middle, Tim Poole says, why don't you just, like, Gavin Ruz Tim Poole seems to really want to trivialize my accomplishments.

01:08:26.000 He says he started Vice News, which started in about, like, we merged with CNN, I think, in 04.

01:08:33.000 He worked there six years later for two years when it had already been totally established.

01:08:39.000 It already was HBO News.

01:08:41.000 He's like, yeah, I created it at some white ante. 0.94

01:08:44.000 He does the bald thing that the Edge does in U2, where we're supposed to pretend that we think his head is cold all summer.

01:08:50.000 Lesson, I have delay pedals and reverb that makes me sound like icicles, man.

01:08:56.000 Go into the middle, like 62% in.

01:08:59.000 There's some overlap between domain.

01:09:02.000 It's almost like a zombie apocalypse when the zombies have finally eaten everybody.

01:09:06.000 There's no one left to eat, so they got to eat themselves.

01:09:08.000 When cancel culture was coming after everybody and they canceled everybody.

01:09:20.000 Not have to worry too much.

01:09:22.000 So things he said, and he's gone way over the line.

01:09:26.000 And with the history of the Proud Boys and the early on mistakes, why keep using the name that's been smeared and tainted and has this past and these associations?

01:09:36.000 Why not just do something different?

01:09:39.000 Make a different group.

01:09:40.000 Get rid of all of these things explicitly.

01:09:45.000 Because why would we want to play their game?

01:09:47.000 Why would we want to play on their battlefield and be like, oh, well.

01:09:49.000 Why would they play on their battlefield?

01:09:51.000 He sounds like an American Indian.

01:09:53.000 Why would we play their game?

01:09:55.000 They say that this name is bad, so let's change it.

01:09:57.000 That to me is bending a knee.

01:09:59.000 That to me is...

01:10:00.000 Those who bend knees.

01:10:01.000 Like bending to the mob.

01:10:02.000 That's like a wounded knee.

01:10:04.000 That has labeled us all these things that have been false.

01:10:08.000 Like I said before, we're not everybody's cup of tea, but this isn't about everybody.

01:10:12.000 This is about us.

01:10:15.000 And us as a brotherhood, we put our God, if you're a religious man, our family, and our country, and then comes a brotherhood as an auxiliary thing.

01:10:27.000 But that doesn't mean that any of those are something that we're willing to do.

01:10:31.000 Anyway, you can watch that on your own time.

01:10:33.000 It's a really good interview.

01:10:34.000 Enrique did an awesome job.

01:10:35.000 Weird.

01:10:36.000 But Tim Poole was like, yeah, he's gone way overboard, way over the top.

01:10:39.000 And then out of the thousands of hours I'm recorded, I did say that once, where Bill the Butcher will assassinate you.

01:10:47.000 This is the verbiage of the time.

01:10:50.000 Tim Kaine, who was Hillary Clinton's running mate, he was almost the vice president of the United States, said, we need to fight them in the streets.

01:11:01.000 We constantly hear about Trump.

01:11:03.000 I want him to die.

01:11:04.000 We have Snoop Dogg pulling a gun on the president.

01:11:07.000 We have comedians holding his bloody head.

01:11:10.000 This is the verbiage.

01:11:12.000 But when we say it, when we talk like that, well, let's shut down the organization and change the name of the club and throw two men in prison.

01:11:23.000 It's a different set of rules.

01:11:25.000 We have to be perfect.

01:11:26.000 We can't swear, but they can fucking turn the world upside down.

01:11:30.000 And it's the same with this bullshit about rioting.

01:11:32.000 Antifa has explicitly said they are going to burn.

01:11:36.000 They've published their plan.

01:11:38.000 Look at this: 3-0.

01:11:41.000 They've said if Trump wins, this fucking country's going to burn.

01:11:46.000 And we've heard people say this, by the way.

01:11:48.000 Celebrities have said that.

01:11:50.000 There's no secrets about this.

01:11:51.000 It said, we are going to burn America to the ground.

01:11:53.000 And I think it was Reza Aslan said that, yeah, we're going to burn this country to the ground if Trump wins.

01:12:00.000 Left-wing radicals post online guide to disrupting the country if the election is so close.

01:12:07.000 Is close.

01:12:08.000 Look at that.

01:12:09.000 But what does the media focus on?

01:12:10.000 Proud boys might do something bad.

01:12:13.000 They might kidnap a governor.

01:12:17.000 By the way, that episode of Tim Kaine is unlisted.

01:12:24.000 Weird.

01:12:25.000 So only if you have the link.

01:12:27.000 I don't know when that happened.

01:12:28.000 Oh, you can't find that Tim Kaine link.

01:12:30.000 Tim Poole.

01:12:31.000 Tim Poole.

01:12:32.000 So Tim Kane you could find, but yeah, it's unlisted.

01:12:35.000 Show us, show us.

01:12:36.000 There we go.

01:12:38.000 Ryan, show the theme.

01:12:39.000 Just to have a PR style.

01:12:41.000 So that's...

01:12:41.000 It's their second biggest one.

01:12:43.000 Streamed live 16 hours ago, but then when you go to videos.

01:12:49.000 Boop.

01:12:49.000 So it's on that homepage there, but if you go to the videos.

01:12:53.000 Yeah, I know.

01:12:55.000 Two weeks ago.

01:12:56.000 38 minutes ago.

01:12:58.000 I wonder if we could see it because we just clicked it.

01:13:02.000 Yeah, it's weird.

01:13:02.000 Unlisted.

01:13:04.000 Huh.

01:13:05.000 What are those other videos on unlisted?

01:13:07.000 Timpool's making a fortune with YouTube, but...

01:13:11.000 What if they shut him down?

01:13:13.000 What does he do then?

01:13:15.000 I don't know, man.

01:13:16.000 I don't care.

01:13:18.000 I don't care.

01:13:18.000 Let him come for me.

01:13:21.000 Did you see the BLM thing?

01:13:23.000 No.

01:13:24.000 And Proud Boys?

01:13:25.000 Oh, they met?

01:13:26.000 They unified to denounce white supremacy.

01:13:32.000 They did like a thing.

01:13:33.000 Yeah, someone sent me that.

01:13:35.000 Looks like a...

01:13:36.000 What does it mean?

01:13:38.000 Like, that's the thing.

01:13:38.000 And that's what Enrique was saying.

01:13:40.000 So we meet with Black Lives Matter.

01:13:41.000 We become best friends.

01:13:42.000 We merge.

01:13:43.000 Proud Lives Matter.

01:13:46.000 That's not going to change the narrative.

01:13:49.000 And the proof of this is the way they talk about everyone.

01:13:52.000 Like, look, Keith Oberman just did this rant about who we have to kill, who has to go to jail, who is, you know, who's a plague.

01:14:05.000 Look at 3.5.

01:14:07.000 Oh, I found the initial.

01:14:10.000 The hate he has triggered, the Pandora's box he has opened, they will not be so easily destroyed.

01:14:17.000 So let us brace ourselves.

01:14:20.000 Uses Anthony's background.

01:14:21.000 That's the same Google image that Anthony's Anthony Coombs show.

01:14:25.000 Yeah.

01:14:25.000 Task is twofold.

01:14:27.000 The terrorist Trump must be defeated, must be destroyed, must be devoured at the ballot box.

01:14:32.000 And then he and his enablers and his supporters and his collaborators and the Mike Lees and the William Barrs and the Sean Hannity's and the Mike Pence's and the Rudy Giulianis and the Kyle Rittenhouses and the Amy Coney Barretts must be prosecuted and convicted and removed from our society while we try to...

01:14:53.000 So this is what I mean.

01:14:54.000 They are insatiable.

01:14:55.000 Well, you can just close it now.

01:14:56.000 They're insatiable.

01:14:58.000 So he, like you say, Gavin, don't use such coarse language.

01:15:02.000 Could you be more pure than Amy Barrett?

01:15:05.000 She's an angel.

01:15:06.000 And the left, and Keith represents them, wants her expunged, thrown in prison.

01:15:12.000 I remember when the shit was really hitting the fan, my wife said, can't you be more normal like Tucker Carlson?

01:15:16.000 And then they went to his house and attacked him and his wife was locked in the pantry.

01:15:19.000 And I went, hmm.

01:15:22.000 You see?

01:15:23.000 They want Sean Hannity sent to jail.

01:15:27.000 That was this, by the way.

01:15:29.000 Yeah, I know.

01:15:30.000 Keith Oberman sounds like he's got a lot of spit in his mouth.

01:15:34.000 Doesn't he?

01:15:35.000 Maybe when his wife fucks him, she spits in his mouth. 1.00

01:15:42.000 They will not be so easily destroyed.

01:15:44.000 So easily destroyed.

01:15:49.000 Did you see these Breonna Taylor pictures going around?

01:15:53.000 The narrative is always wrong.

01:15:55.000 Look at this.

01:15:58.000 What does it say in the top?

01:15:59.000 How he coming behind me.

01:16:02.000 How he coming behind me.

01:16:05.000 Yo, I'm going to shoot people if they try to fuck with you.

01:16:09.000 And then she poses with his gun, too. 0.70

01:16:11.000 Partners in crime.

01:16:13.000 Perfect.

01:16:15.000 Perfect.

01:16:16.000 She was not an innocent Uno player having a nap.

01:16:20.000 She was also a drug dealer. 1.00

01:16:22.000 Your boyfriend's dealing drugs.

01:16:24.000 You're dealing drugs.

01:16:25.000 People come by when he's not there.

01:16:27.000 You're holding the money.

01:16:33.000 Let me just get this Proud Boy stuff out of the way.

01:16:37.000 There was this court clerk discussion amongst court clerks, and I thought this is interesting because this is inside our justice system.

01:16:44.000 This is how they talk to each other.

01:16:47.000 This is at the top of Proud Boys.

01:16:48.000 It's those three pictures there.

01:16:50.000 They're out of order.

01:16:52.000 Gotcha.

01:16:54.000 That's fun.

01:16:56.000 Is this going particularly slow today?

01:17:00.000 So go to the first page.

01:17:02.000 I know this is a clerk website.

01:17:04.000 The men accused of killing, kidnapping, killing, blah, blah, blah.

01:17:06.000 Unconscionable.

01:17:06.000 You know I was an Irish Catholic, just like Timothy McVeigh.

01:17:10.000 So Irish Catholics are terrorists.

01:17:13.000 It takes years before someone was executed.

01:17:15.000 He was executed quickly because he didn't contest his execution.

01:17:22.000 He said, I did it.

01:17:23.000 Kill me.

01:17:24.000 Anyway, he's saying that we hide the crimes of terrorists.

01:17:29.000 You go, okay, you might have something with Epstein, but where are you going with this next?

01:17:39.000 And was it the kidnapping?

01:17:42.000 And then she talks about the president, instead of being outraged at the possible kidnapping and killing of a U.S. governor, tweeted out his normal bile about Governor Whitner, never once condemning these people who he personally told to liberate the state of Michigan time and time again.

01:17:55.000 He's had the opportunity to condemn these people.

01:17:57.000 And instead, he does the exact opposite.

01:18:00.000 Many people take their cue from the president.

01:18:02.000 The radical lunatics, keep going.

01:18:05.000 This is the guy in the courts.

01:18:09.000 I want them kept alive.

01:18:11.000 I want to know where their funding comes from.

01:18:12.000 I want to know if they think they are carrying out orders from the commander-in-chief.

01:18:16.000 Boogaloo boys, proud boys, Nazis is a better name. 1.00

01:18:20.000 I just saw a sheriff say on camera that if they, and then I think he got spellchecked and it changed Boogaloo, thought the governor was committing a felony by suggesting mask wearing and closing down.

01:18:29.000 Somebody says they have every right to do what they were planning to do.

01:18:32.000 Anyway, that wasn't as interesting as I thought it would be.

01:18:35.000 But it's, it's fucking people inside the New York City court system assuming that Trump advocates for Nazis like Proud Boys in their belief.

01:18:46.000 It's the same thing.

01:18:47.000 Charlottesville, Nazis. 0.78

01:18:49.000 And that's like half the country believes that at this point.

01:18:51.000 Half the people who've heard of the Proud Boys think that they are Nazis and they're Trump's secret army.

01:18:56.000 Meanwhile, Antifa has said, we're a secret army.

01:19:00.000 We're going to burn the place down.

01:19:01.000 And they've shown us how they burn places down for, I think we're up to five months now.

01:19:06.000 It's like, yeah, but what if the Boogaloo?

01:19:08.000 What if the Boogie Boys go?

01:19:15.000 There's a terrible article by this woman at Snopes. 0.99

01:19:17.000 Snopes is left-wing propaganda.

01:19:19.000 This is 2-5.

01:19:20.000 What a lot of female writers do because their heart's not in it is they just compile everything they get off Wikipedia and then they pretend that they're Wikipedia and they take the pictures. 1.00

01:19:30.000 That's a pretty intense tattoo.

01:19:31.000 Yeah, I just thought that.

01:19:33.000 I've never seen that guy.

01:19:34.000 Oh my lord.

01:19:35.000 You're really committing there, buddy.

01:19:38.000 Mine's like on the back of my elbow.

01:19:41.000 Members of the fringe group turned volunteer security force have openly advocated violence and white supremacy.

01:19:47.000 So I'm suing her.

01:19:49.000 That's going on the pile.

01:19:50.000 Openly advocated white supremacy.

01:19:52.000 Fuck you, you stupid bitch. 1.00

01:19:54.000 And then go down?

01:19:57.000 So she has the Proud Boys thing.

01:20:00.000 And then she just proceeds to list every rude thing I've ever said as evidence that we are.

01:20:09.000 Look, she's got my whole fucking life there. 1.00

01:20:13.000 Going back to 2002.

01:20:16.000 This goes on and on and on, and it's just amateur hour at the Apollo.

01:20:20.000 And it's all fucking lies.

01:20:22.000 All right, this is getting tedious, isn't it?

01:20:26.000 There was a fake interview in Newsweek.

01:20:28.000 Let's just blast through this.

01:20:29.000 I'm like Bill Burr.

01:20:30.000 Plowing through 2-8.

01:20:33.000 This guy just interviewed a dude who's not a proud boy.

01:20:35.000 We don't recognize him.

01:20:36.000 And he's saying, yeah, we're going to have to get violent if shit goes down.

01:20:39.000 I mean, does anyone take Newsweek seriously anymore?

01:20:42.000 You'd have to be a really out-of-touch boomer woman to watch this shit. 0.97

01:20:47.000 I don't know who the Proud Boys are.

01:20:49.000 I mean, you'll have to give me a definition because I really don't know who they are.

01:20:52.000 I can only say they have to stand down, let law enforcement do their work.

01:20:56.000 Just stand by.

01:20:57.000 Look, law enforcement will do their work.

01:20:59.000 They're going to stand down.

01:21:00.000 They have to stand down.

01:21:01.000 Everybody, they have to stand down.

01:21:03.000 Whatever group you're talking about, let law enforcement do the work.

01:21:06.000 Now, Antifa is a real problem.

01:21:09.000 Because the problem is on the left.

01:21:11.000 I've always denounced any form.

01:21:14.000 Any form of white supremacist.

01:21:18.000 Everyone has.

01:21:19.000 Hundreds of times.

01:21:22.000 Hundreds of times.

01:21:23.000 And that's why Enrique said, I'm not going to bend the knee.

01:21:25.000 Because we've tried saying I'm not a white supremacist 8 billion million times, and they still fucking accuse you.

01:21:31.000 They accuse black people of being white supremacists.

01:21:33.000 It's getting boring.

01:21:35.000 But go down on that one.

01:21:38.000 So is that the one that has the fake interview with this guy?

01:21:43.000 Go up?

01:21:44.000 I think it didn't load yet.

01:21:46.000 Yeah, there's a spot there.

01:21:49.000 Come on.

01:21:50.000 Masterson.

01:21:51.000 Wait, on Twitter.

01:21:52.000 Days after he first posted the clip online that he intends to post a full interview soon.

01:21:57.000 So this sounds like another making of the news.

01:21:59.000 Now, did Masterson pay a guy to say he was a proud boy?

01:22:02.000 He's not dressed like a proud boy.

01:22:04.000 There it is.

01:22:06.000 I've met most.

01:22:08.000 I think I've met them all at Westbus and everything.

01:22:10.000 And you get to know the faces.

01:22:11.000 Especially with videos and social media.

01:22:15.000 Keeps freezing up here.

01:22:18.000 Oh, that was that Indie.

01:22:19.000 We showed that, right?

01:22:20.000 We showed this with the Asian guy.

01:22:22.000 Mexican.

01:22:22.000 Why can't you show us?

01:22:24.000 It's froze.

01:22:26.000 I scroll in here and it's wow.

01:22:28.000 Wow.

01:22:29.000 All right.

01:22:30.000 I don't know where it took me.

01:22:31.000 All right, here we go.

01:22:32.000 This is?

01:22:33.000 Yeah.

01:22:34.000 Oh, you're on Facebook?

01:22:36.000 Yeah.

01:22:37.000 How'd you get on Facebook?

01:22:39.000 Oh, that's that artist, Stuart.

01:22:41.000 No, Scott the artist guy who does the American flags.

01:22:46.000 Like that guy.

01:22:47.000 Antifa is a real problem, if you guys understand where they are.

01:22:51.000 People don't understand.

01:22:52.000 Proudboys, it's a very inclusive, multiracial organization.

01:22:57.000 We're not brawlers.

01:22:59.000 You know?

01:23:00.000 But we're there.

01:23:01.000 Just like the Marines.

01:23:02.000 We're the first to come in when there's something happening.

01:23:05.000 He said, stand back and stand by.

01:23:07.000 What did you take that to mean?

01:23:09.000 Basically, he says, guys, wait for my orders.

01:23:12.000 And that's exactly what we're waiting for.

01:23:15.000 You're not violent.

01:23:17.000 What do you think?

01:23:18.000 Oh, man.

01:23:19.000 So Trump denounces us, and then he steals our fuck around and find out.

01:23:23.000 That's our motto.

01:23:25.000 This is 3-1.

01:23:33.000 And knows that, and they've been put on notice.

01:23:35.000 If you fuck around with us, if you do something bad to us, we are going to do things to you that have never been done before.

01:23:42.000 And knows that.

01:23:49.000 We're going to do things that have never been done.

01:23:51.000 Isn't that the same as we'll like Bill the Butcher will assassinate you?

01:23:55.000 2.9.

01:23:56.000 Trump condones hate groups like the Proud Boys.

01:23:58.000 Oh, this is the Lincoln Project again.

01:24:00.000 I should have stuck this with the other Lincoln Project. 0.85

01:24:04.000 Well, this one is over the top.

01:24:05.000 This one puts Proud Boys' lives in danger by literally photoshopping us as Nazis.

01:24:13.000 We've seen this before.

01:24:14.000 In the history of the Great American Experiment, extremist groups have risen to challenge our democracy.

01:24:20.000 There were anti-Semitic fascists in the 1930s, the KKK and the John Birch Society.

01:24:25.000 Each of these hate groups were opposed by the American president and rejected by the American mainstream.

01:24:31.000 Today, for the first time in our history, an American president embraces extremism and sights to violence.

01:24:41.000 Donald Trump is refusing to accept the results of our democratic elections and calls for violent extremists.

01:24:48.000 It's dangerous, anti-American, and a threat to democracy unlike any in our history.

01:24:54.000 Millions of Americans have fought to preserve and protect the freedoms Donald Trump have threatened.

01:24:59.000 Now it's our turn, our duty to defend America.

01:25:02.000 Babylon B guns with tanks, but with our votes.

01:25:06.000 Trump or America.

01:25:07.000 Fight for America.

01:25:08.000 Vote.

01:25:09.000 The Lincoln Project is responsible for the content of this advertisement.

01:25:13.000 Speechless for the first time.

01:25:14.000 I'm speechless.

01:25:16.000 So Trump doesn't know who we are.

01:25:18.000 He says, stamp, stand black, stand blind.

01:25:22.000 And that is now Proud Boys are Nazis and they're waiting to pounce.

01:25:29.000 It's the opposite of the truth.

01:25:31.000 Antifa has said they're going to pounce.

01:25:33.000 The left keeps saying they're going to pounce.

01:25:35.000 I know.

01:25:35.000 I talk about the left too much.

01:25:39.000 I'm supposed to be mad at him for all this, but I'm not.

01:25:43.000 If he said, I support the Proud Boys, they would have fine-tooth combed, as you see they're doing now, found some quote I said in 2002, and then made, so Trump is now responsible for everything every Proud Boy has ever done, including the guys we booted out.

01:25:56.000 And that would just give them endless fodder.

01:25:58.000 That would become the news forever, and that would be the end of, not the end of the election, but it would be a major, boring pain in the ass for everyone involved.

01:26:07.000 But look at 3-2.

01:26:09.000 This guy is so fucking funny.

01:26:12.000 I don't get how people don't like him.

01:26:16.000 Now they say I'm immune.

01:26:18.000 I can feel, I feel so powerful.

01:26:20.000 I'll walk into that audience.

01:26:22.000 I'll walk in there.

01:26:23.000 I'll kiss everyone in that audience.

01:26:27.000 I'll kiss the guys and the beautiful women and them.

01:26:31.000 Everybody, I'll just give you a big fat kiss. 1.00

01:26:34.000 No, but there is something.

01:26:36.000 Now they say.

01:26:37.000 I'll kiss the guys.

01:26:40.000 Who wrote that?

01:26:41.000 That's a drop.

01:26:42.000 He goes beautiful woman a little too quick, but maybe if we just have a drop of, I'll kiss the guys? 0.99

01:26:50.000 But really, on a serious note, this is the most important election ever.

01:26:55.000 And Pat Buchanan was on Michelle Malkin's show saying this, he could permanently fix the GOP, recalibrate it, reboot it, drain the swamp, such that in 2024, they won't be able to...

01:27:12.000 Are you okay, Ryan?

01:27:16.000 I've almost done the entire thing.

01:27:19.000 What does he say?

01:27:20.000 Mr. Buchanan, the Republican National Committee.

01:27:22.000 I don't think in 2024 you'll be able to go back to free trade globalism or interventionism because the GOP will have been reoriented.

01:27:32.000 I mean, that's really what we're getting down to.

01:27:35.000 This is much bigger than 2016.

01:27:37.000 And 2024, I don't think we have to worry anymore.

01:27:40.000 We have the Supreme Court.

01:27:41.000 We have the Senate.

01:27:44.000 We have lost this need to globalize.

01:27:47.000 It's no longer cool Soros.

01:27:49.000 You're allowed to criticize Soros.

01:27:51.000 And that's major.

01:27:54.000 2020 opened up with the poster child of the globalist and interventionist wing of the Republican Party, Nikki Haley, and then proceeded to venerate Tim Scott,

01:28:09.000 who bent his knee to the Black Lives Matter agenda.

01:28:13.000 It ended with President Trump promising law and order and an end to endless wars.

01:28:19.000 How are these two things possible?

01:28:22.000 Well, I mean, the Republican Party, because it is the Republican Party and they wanted to feature, I think, all of their stars, and the two you mentioned are, I guess, their stars.

01:28:34.000 But with regard to moving out of these endless wars, I think the president has made something of a beginning, but he hasn't completed the job that he told us he would do.

01:28:43.000 And I would certainly hope that in the second term he would extricate us from these endless wars in the Middle East. 1.00

01:28:50.000 But I will say the only possibility we have of getting out of them is by electing Donald Trump and not electing Joe Biden.

01:28:59.000 Sure.

01:29:00.000 President Trump, of course, campaign.

01:29:02.000 Yeah, that's the most serious part of a funny show.

01:29:07.000 Doesn't she look like Phoebe Cates? 1.00

01:29:09.000 Yeah, I see it.

01:29:11.000 It really is.

01:29:12.000 This is the election.

01:29:13.000 And I also think we have it in the bag.

01:29:16.000 So that's good news.

01:29:18.000 But yeah, I don't think we'll ever have an election this important ever again.

01:29:23.000 I don't think we ever have had an election this bad.

01:29:26.000 Because before Trump, the GOP and the DNC, that's why he got such shitty voter turnout.

01:29:32.000 That's why only 2% of people in DC voted for him.

01:29:35.000 Because the establishment Republicans hate him too.

01:29:38.000 They started the Lincoln Project, for fuck's sakes, where they lie about Nazis. 0.61

01:29:43.000 All right, let's get into the mail beat.

01:29:47.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.

01:29:52.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mail back.

01:29:57.000 Let me touch it.

01:30:01.000 Hey, Gavin and Ryan, I think the short film covered in yesterday's show reveals the real reason black men abandon their children. 1.00

01:30:07.000 And if that's the case, then nothing wrong with that.

01:30:14.000 Yeah, I thought it would be good to mix it up a little bit and have a non-political show.

01:30:20.000 I go back and forth, though.

01:30:21.000 Sometimes I think we have to talk about politics.

01:30:23.000 We're weeks away from the most important election in American history.

01:30:26.000 But on the other hand, I think let's do pop culture.

01:30:29.000 Like Billie Eilish is fat and has huge tits. 1.00

01:30:32.000 Did you know that?

01:30:34.000 Look at 2-1.

01:30:36.000 Fat and has huge tits. 1.00

01:30:38.000 All right.

01:30:38.000 I always thought of her as flat and skinny because she wears such big outfits.

01:30:42.000 But then you see her and she's kind of a beast.

01:30:47.000 Kind of a beast.

01:30:49.000 Yeah, she always wears loose stuff to obscure her body. 0.98

01:30:51.000 She's got massive cans. 0.59

01:30:55.000 Yeah.

01:30:55.000 I mean, that's, by the way, as far as my tastes go, that's right on the button.

01:31:00.000 Tits are a little big from no, the tits are actually fantastic. 1.00

01:31:03.000 The Yeezy slides, those are Yeezys?

01:31:07.000 Yeah.

01:31:08.000 And I do like how when she dresses, she doesn't dress like a whore like Cardi B, because I know young girls are obsessed with her. 1.00

01:31:14.000 And I don't want my daughter, you know, asking me for thigh-high boots.

01:31:18.000 She's kind of a beast. 0.98

01:31:20.000 I still can't get over that.

01:31:22.000 Yeah, she looks like a beast. 1.00

01:31:23.000 You kind of assume when girls wear huge clothes like that and they're young that they're super skinny. 1.00

01:31:27.000 Oh, I never did.

01:31:29.000 I knew there was something swaying underneath it.

01:31:32.000 She walks like she walks like Dante Nero, like a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

01:31:40.000 All right, this is from a guy called Freedom Fulton.

01:31:43.000 I'm saying his name because it's not a real name.

01:31:45.000 Dudes, watch this video of back-to-back COVID prom dancing.

01:31:49.000 This shit is so embarrassing, I get a stomachache watching it.

01:31:52.000 These kids got punked by their principal and have no idea.

01:31:54.000 Yeah, you know why they make kids do this?

01:31:57.000 Because they can.

01:31:59.000 Wow.

01:31:59.000 This is why Bill Burr was shitting on white women.

01:32:02.000 Because he can.

01:32:03.000 You know why they make ex-cons do all this dumb shit where they have to draw pictures of their family?

01:32:09.000 Because they can.

01:32:14.000 Turn it up.

01:32:20.000 That's a teacher.

01:32:21.000 He's fired.

01:32:22.000 How does this help the spread of COVID?

01:32:27.000 I mean, the face is here.

01:32:29.000 The face is here.

01:32:30.000 You're moving all around the gym.

01:32:32.000 This airborne virus has just filled the gym.

01:32:34.000 It's the most contagious thing we've ever come across in our history.

01:32:38.000 If you're in a room of people, it doesn't matter what direction you're fucking facing in.

01:32:42.000 You know that guy gets in trouble for that, right?

01:32:44.000 Well, maybe it's a dad.

01:32:46.000 Even if it's a dad, we don't appreciate that, the face that he made.

01:32:49.000 Schools are petrified of dads.

01:32:51.000 Huh, huh.

01:32:52.000 Hey, Gavin, in case you haven't seen it today, David Cole wrote the following in his weekly tacky mag column.

01:32:57.000 Here's a key paragraph.

01:32:58.000 Trump's denunciation of the Proud Boys will be for nothing.

01:33:01.000 If he loses in November, he'll have thrown a bunch of good people under the bus for no reason.

01:33:05.000 But even if he wins, it'll be a hollow victory because he'll have won by embracing the cult's theology, further enshrining it as the governing theology of the land.

01:33:14.000 He'll have won on the cult's terms, having adopted its language and reality as its own.

01:33:19.000 Cole is, and then he goes back to the writer.

01:33:21.000 Cole is a brilliant thinker on such topics.

01:33:23.000 He does YouTube videos every week, blah, blah, blah.

01:33:25.000 I wonder if maybe a candidate for a slot on censored.tv.

01:33:28.000 Ryan, cue the suggestion box bonfire video.

01:33:31.000 David Cole.

01:33:32.000 Here he comes.

01:33:33.000 Jews really hate him. 0.91

01:33:34.000 I think he denied the Holocaust and didn't he kill himself?

01:33:38.000 Is that the same David Cole?

01:33:42.000 It's pretty impressive to keep writing.

01:33:46.000 I think he denied the Holocaust.

01:33:51.000 Yeah, that's it.

01:33:52.000 And it just ruined his career.

01:33:54.000 So he said, oh, fuck it.

01:33:56.000 I'm going to just die.

01:33:57.000 So he, quote unquote, killed himself, but he walked out into the water.

01:34:03.000 And then apparently that's the best way to fake die.

01:34:06.000 He walked out into the water and then swam a bit and then had like clothes and stuff ready downstream.

01:34:12.000 Cool.

01:34:13.000 And so they looked for him in the water.

01:34:14.000 He left a suicide note and everything.

01:34:15.000 Couldn't find him.

01:34:16.000 He's dead.

01:34:17.000 Then he started a new career, but he started gaining notoriety.

01:34:24.000 And then I think he let it slip at a party once.

01:34:26.000 He told some chick he was fucking that he's actually the guy who died.

01:34:30.000 Pretty cool, huh?

01:34:32.000 You did anything to make it seem cool?

01:34:36.000 Actually died.

01:34:43.000 So what do we got here?

01:34:48.000 Okay.

01:34:49.000 This is from Chuck.

01:34:50.000 If you died and went to hell while an acid, the devil would look like kangaroo Gavin. 0.93

01:34:54.000 Okay.

01:34:56.000 By the way, you shouldn't have made the nose of the kangaroo like you did.

01:35:02.000 People kept saying it looked like balls.

01:35:03.000 It does.

01:35:04.000 Looks like balls.

01:35:05.000 Yeah, why did you just make it like all orange?

01:35:10.000 I could probably redo that.

01:35:11.000 But why?

01:35:12.000 The question is, why did you do that?

01:35:14.000 I don't know.

01:35:14.000 It kind of has like a Joe Camel type of vibe.

01:35:17.000 If I made your face any bigger than the...

01:35:20.000 No, no, you just Photoshop that bottom part orange.

01:35:22.000 What does the matter?

01:35:23.000 It won't click.

01:35:25.000 Man, that's signed up to us.

01:35:28.000 There's a couple of new things on the site, by the way.

01:35:29.000 It looks like we're just loading here.

01:35:32.000 Gary's mailbag, another one of those.

01:35:34.000 A new Copper Cab.

01:35:35.000 And there will be the new Dusty Bogan up.

01:35:39.000 And didn't...

01:35:39.000 Yeah, we're announcing a new show, Dusty Bogan.

01:35:41.000 Correct.

01:35:42.000 Man on the streets in Australia.

01:35:43.000 We're bringing in a new continent.

01:35:45.000 Didn't you say Copper Cab was dating that Belle Delphine? 0.98

01:35:49.000 Yeah, they're.

01:35:49.000 Belle Delphine.

01:35:50.000 Was she in that episode?

01:35:52.000 You'll have to check and find out.

01:35:54.000 In other words, you don't look at censored.tv.

01:35:57.000 I haven't watched this one yet.

01:35:58.000 I'm still one behind.

01:36:00.000 But I've been in contact with him, and he's delusionally obsessed with this girl.

01:36:05.000 I don't know if they're together, but...

01:36:10.000 It's getting crazy.

01:36:13.000 His whole life is changing around Belle Delphine, essentially.

01:36:18.000 Some guy wrote a book about a lighthouse, and he sent me the story of him doing a little book about a lighthouse, maybe 100 times now.

01:36:28.000 He sends me the email once a day.

01:36:30.000 Hey, Tom, please stop sending me your fucking lighthouse book.

01:36:34.000 I don't give a shit.

01:36:37.000 Preston, Gavin, kudos to your incredible find.

01:36:40.000 One Ryan Katsu Rivera.

01:36:42.000 To have an actor portray a mentally deficient Japanese Puerto Rican as your foil and to remain in character for so many years is the performance art piece that will be analyzed for years to come. 0.75

01:36:52.000 The way he captures mental retardation is a masterclass in acting. 1.00

01:36:56.000 Seriously, whether it's his technical ineptitude or his jaw-dropping inane comments, quote-unquote Ryan never disappoints.

01:37:04.000 Well, he disappoints you, of course, but not the bemused viewers.

01:37:07.000 However, I have noticed a couple things that distract from an otherwise brilliant illusion.

01:37:12.000 One, the prosthetic nose is a bit much.

01:37:15.000 Go smaller so it doesn't seem so cartoonish.

01:37:18.000 Number two, Ryan often adjusts his wig along with the nose.

01:37:22.000 I chalk this up to poor hair and makeup effects, not performance.

01:37:26.000 Finally, I'd love to know which technique Ryan actor Uses Meisner, Stanislavski, method?

01:37:34.000 Did he spend time with special needs individuals for research?

01:37:37.000 Thank you for breaking the fourth wall to answer these questions, and may he win all of the acting awards.

01:37:45.000 Okay.

01:37:46.000 You've hurt me today.

01:37:50.000 Hey, boys, fuck.

01:37:51.000 My name is Alexander.

01:37:52.000 Fuck.

01:37:53.000 I thought this video might make you homesick, fuck.

01:37:55.000 And maybe have a laugh too, fuck.

01:37:57.000 I'm already homesick.

01:37:58.000 Ryan, you don't need three bins in the kitchen, fuck.

01:38:04.000 Oh, dick.

01:38:06.000 Oh, dick.

01:38:07.000 Holy shit.

01:38:09.000 Holy shit.

01:38:10.000 We've had scene life on the show.

01:38:13.000 You motherfucker.

01:38:14.000 Thank you for turning us on to an old guest of ours.

01:38:18.000 Hey guys, I know Fav doesn't do much dating beyond old New York guineas, and Ryan is lord of the fag capital of the world, but I was fucking around on my Bumble app last night, and it wants me to verify myself. 0.99

01:38:29.000 Look at this fucking bullshit dude.

01:38:31.000 I laugh so hard.

01:38:32.000 I'm not going to strike this pose.

01:38:34.000 I will end up on some collage at a fucking loser convention somewhere.

01:38:37.000 Verify yourself.

01:38:39.000 Help us keep Bumble safe and honest by verifying yourself with a one-time selfie.

01:38:43.000 We'll only use your photo to confume you're you.

01:38:45.000 Confume.

01:38:46.000 Confoom.

01:38:47.000 So it doesn't have to be your best.

01:38:49.000 Verify yourself.

01:38:49.000 So you have to verify yourself in a Black Lives Matter pose, which you could argue is a white power pose if it's a white fist.

01:38:58.000 Let's see that fist. 0.98

01:39:02.000 Maybe it's for girls that like fisting. 1.00

01:39:04.000 Like they could see the size of your fist and know they won't get destroyed.

01:39:08.000 Is this a one?

01:39:09.000 Her name is Virgi Tovar, and she's a health at every size activist.

01:39:13.000 Yes, we're familiar with her.

01:39:14.000 We've discussed her on many shows.

01:39:17.000 I guess all you people haven't caught up on every episode.

01:39:20.000 But there's a pretty girl in there somewhere. 1.00

01:39:25.000 So I'm tempted to be generous.

01:39:27.000 Can you fucking find this?

01:39:28.000 What is the name of Born for?

01:39:33.000 It's two after the one we just did.

01:39:37.000 Yeah, I've been lost.

01:39:39.000 What do you mean you've been lost?

01:39:42.000 Born for this.

01:39:49.000 Gotcha.

01:39:51.000 What are you doing wrong?

01:39:54.000 It's funny, someone just said you were a genius at acting like a retard and you have no idea where we are in the mailbag.

01:39:59.000 No, you're going in chronological order.

01:40:03.000 I skipped over one that was a request to do a high school newspaper interview.

01:40:06.000 Oh.

01:40:07.000 You can't handle a skipping?

01:40:09.000 Let's see.

01:40:11.000 So anyway, go back to that picture.

01:40:13.000 Um.

01:40:16.000 Like, I want to just be kind and say two and leave one for you know, freaks.

01:40:24.000 But two feels so generous.

01:40:27.000 One point something.

01:40:29.000 Yeah.

01:40:30.000 One feels too low and two feels too high.

01:40:32.000 1.6.

01:40:34.000 1.6, and I feel like she should call me crying saying thank you.

01:40:40.000 You're welcome.

01:40:40.000 Merry Christmas.

01:40:41.000 I just gave you an extra 0.2.

01:40:48.000 Are you ready for the next one?

01:40:48.000 How many pencils do you think Gary can fit underneath this bazunga?

01:40:53.000 Maybe just one.

01:40:54.000 He doesn't have a lot of sag, does he?

01:40:56.000 No.

01:40:57.000 It's a prominent nip, but so am I. I haven't watched that one yet.

01:41:02.000 It's getting good reviews.

01:41:04.000 That's good.

01:41:06.000 Were most of the letters video letters?

01:41:08.000 No.

01:41:09.000 Please send it, please.

01:41:09.000 Gary video letters because he can't read.

01:41:12.000 It really does help.

01:41:13.000 I mean, he gets really annoyed.

01:41:15.000 Like, there's this one.

01:41:16.000 It's a Dinesh D'Souza.

01:41:19.000 Dinesh writes it a lot.

01:41:21.000 And he does not, every time it comes in, he's like, I don't want to see that.

01:41:24.000 I don't want to see that.

01:41:25.000 He's like, triggered.

01:41:26.000 Because she's wearing a Dinesh mask? 0.98

01:41:28.000 Yes.

01:41:32.000 This is from Tom.

01:41:33.000 He says, the perfect t-shirt doesn't exist.

01:41:37.000 That's a cometown shirt.

01:41:39.000 I'm not racist anymore.

01:41:43.000 Pretty good.

01:41:46.000 Well, you know, it would be a good shirt.

01:41:48.000 I'm not racist, but I'm getting there.

01:41:52.000 Or I'm not racist yet.

01:41:54.000 I'm not racist, but I try really hard.

01:41:58.000 I'm not racist, but you're pushing it.

01:42:02.000 SG, strange thing about the Johnsons.

01:42:04.000 There's an interview floating around out there as to how Astor came up with his short film.

01:42:08.000 It was his dissertation film when he was a student.

01:42:10.000 Yes, I know that.

01:42:11.000 I believe he made some backhand comments about how all the dissertation films he saw while he was there were more or less nothing but PC claptrap that always had some message about being black, gay, trans.

01:42:20.000 Apparently he made the film because he wanted to make the most offensive thing possible as a kind of fuck you to the stupid PC short films he was seeing in school.

01:42:28.000 Also, I think he was being a bit clever making that his dissertation film because he got the shock value that gave him a name.

01:42:34.000 A few years later, he made Hereditary, brilliant film, and then Mid-Somar, which is fucking awesome.

01:42:40.000 It is sort of analogous to David Lynch making Eraserhead, his first film.

01:42:44.000 And then he was on the map in that industry.

01:42:45.000 Huh, good letter.

01:42:47.000 Interesting concept.

01:42:48.000 I think you're right.

01:42:49.000 Willow wake.

01:42:50.000 This is from Jammy.

01:42:52.000 Hello, Gavin and Gayman.

01:42:53.000 Sending another link for other movie ideas that might spice things up.

01:42:57.000 Pretty, please.

01:42:58.000 The political stuff is getting redundant, but I still appreciate your opinions.

01:43:03.000 I recognize him.

01:43:06.000 Evil Dead.

01:43:07.000 Oh, Evil Dead.

01:43:09.000 It's Bruce Campbell.

01:43:11.000 But wait, someone told a MAGA dad told me gave me an idea for a movie.

01:43:17.000 Wait, is that the guy who was crying?

01:43:19.000 Yes, it is.

01:43:20.000 Remember, he was going like this.

01:43:24.000 Dude, you need mascara to worry about your mascara. 0.94

01:43:29.000 I still wonder if that was a joke.

01:43:36.000 Dan and Dave need wedding dates.

01:43:39.000 I think it's...

01:43:40.000 Oh, it's woman. 0.87

01:43:41.000 That's it.

01:43:42.000 It's women doing wedding crashers. 1.00

01:43:45.000 Hmm.

01:43:49.000 Oh, it's Adam.

01:43:52.000 What's his face?

01:43:53.000 It's Zach Efron.

01:44:21.000 Mom and dad, what's going on here?

01:44:23.000 What are the years of our family gathering?

01:44:26.000 You two show up and you ruined it.

01:44:30.000 I want you to bring a date to your sister's wedding.

01:44:32.000 We don't want you showing up staging running on each other up.

01:44:35.000 We don't run each other up.

01:44:41.000 We'll shape up, Eugenie.

01:44:42.000 We gotta find the right girls for this. 1.00

01:44:44.000 Where do we even go?

01:44:46.000 We're about to do something awesome.

01:44:50.000 I'm here with Mike and Dave Stangle.

01:44:52.000 They are looking for dates for their sister's wedding in Hawaii.

01:44:55.000 Guys, take us to Hawaii.

01:44:57.000 We're looking for nice girls. 1.00

01:44:58.000 We're gonna look respectable as well.

01:45:01.000 They're leaving.

01:45:02.000 It's all part of the plan.

01:45:05.000 It's such a fucking smoker.

01:45:08.000 Are you okay?

01:45:09.000 I am now.

01:45:10.000 I saved your life!

01:45:11.000 She's okay.

01:45:12.000 I saved your life!

01:45:13.000 Yeah.

01:45:15.000 Did you like it?

01:45:16.000 I don't remember.

01:45:18.000 She was fine.

01:45:19.000 The key to teaching children is repetition.

01:45:21.000 You'd be surprised how stupid they are.

01:45:26.000 Let's play Bocci.

01:45:27.000 Should we take it easily?

01:45:28.000 Absolutely not.

01:45:29.000 We should let them lose with dignity, which is what I'd like to think we would do.

01:45:32.000 He's very Jack Blackish. 0.87

01:45:33.000 You ever notice that?

01:45:34.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:45:35.000 Very.

01:45:38.000 What are we taking at?

01:45:39.000 They've got cockbusters. 0.99

01:45:41.000 That sounds like you guys are like watching porno or I don't know if we're gonna get it though if we haven't seen the godfather.

01:45:57.000 Oh yeah, right So they made chicks into dudes. 1.00

01:46:33.000 just saw the fiction that Hollywood wants to push out.

01:46:36.000 Let's take a little peek at the reality.

01:46:39.000 Boy, this is a long app This should be required viewing in women's studies And they're off this has a lot of upper body strength needed obviously you're going over a lot of jumps. 1.00

01:47:21.000 that little mud hill is a mission for her do you still get sponsor money if the sponsor sticker scrapes off because you bailed something they can't even make it oh and we're down uh the bush was not an obstacle but i apparently that thwarted her uh lindsay coming at number 12.

01:50:41.000 wife and his two kids and his name Chris Watts I'm not gonna tell you because it's haunting me like I peered into hell and I saw the devil but they go into explicit detail about him killing his twin daughters and what they said and what he said to them.

01:51:00.000 Dude, I would pay a million bucks to get this out of my head.

01:51:03.000 I really feel like I've seen into hell.

01:51:06.000 I've seen Satan.

01:51:07.000 Oh, yeah.

01:51:08.000 And I was just watching a lifetime movie.

01:51:10.000 So my daughter and I were watching it in the hotel.

01:51:12.000 I'm like, this is so corny.

01:51:14.000 Oh, it is kind of freaky, though.

01:51:15.000 It's a true story, you know?

01:51:16.000 Oh, they're reenacting.

01:51:17.000 And then they get to that part and I'm like, holy fuck, what the fuck did I just watch?

01:51:22.000 Shit.

01:51:22.000 You want to unwatch it?

01:51:24.000 I would love to unwatch it.

01:51:26.000 You know, it was really disturbing.

01:51:27.000 That was the same guy who they have like all this footage from him.

01:51:31.000 You know, the body cam footage of the police talking to him.

01:51:33.000 Did you know that?

01:51:34.000 This joke's going to suck, just warning you.

01:51:36.000 There's no joke.

01:51:37.000 So the cops are talking to him as if his wife's missing.

01:51:41.000 And he's like, oh yeah, I don't know where she went and blah, blah, blah.

01:51:45.000 And it looks like...

01:51:46.000 They're not twins.

01:51:47.000 That's the guy.

01:51:50.000 Yeah, they reenact this in the Lifetime movie exactly.

01:51:53.000 Yeah, they let him in the house and they look around and stuff like that.

01:51:57.000 And he's a suspect, but he's not cuffed yet.

01:52:08.000 Friday morning, and then she got back last night about 2 a.m.

01:52:13.000 Like I believe.

01:52:14.000 She left about 11.

01:52:14.000 She got here 2.

01:52:16.000 Now went to work this morning.

01:52:18.000 There's a lot of footage of him talking to cops, just lying his ass off while his whole family's dead.

01:52:23.000 Pretending.

01:52:24.000 And then he did a news spot.

01:52:25.000 He's like, yeah, I just want them to come back and, you know, blah, blah.

01:52:29.000 Oof.

01:52:30.000 All right.

01:52:31.000 Last one.

01:52:32.000 Start the 11-second mark.

01:52:34.000 This is a good video drop.

01:52:36.000 Okay.

01:52:36.000 We'll see.

01:52:37.000 11th.

01:52:38.000 Oh, this one we said should be a video drop.

01:52:39.000 Huh.

01:52:41.000 I feel so powerful.

01:52:42.000 I'll walk into that.

01:52:44.000 I'll walk in there.

01:52:45.000 I'll kiss everyone in that.

01:52:49.000 I'll kiss the guys and the beautiful women. 0.76

01:52:55.000 We can't.

01:52:56.000 Alex, we've great minds think alike.

01:52:58.000 We're in the same boat, but we can't do it.

01:53:01.000 Why?

01:53:01.000 Because he goes, the guys and the...

01:53:03.000 Oh.

01:53:05.000 If he had said, I'll kiss the guys, that would have been perfect.

01:53:08.000 Trump, if you're watching, next time you say something like that, give it some space on either end so we can cut it.

01:53:14.000 Deal?

01:53:16.000 Everybody knows what I'm saying is true.

01:53:18.000 Well, he will kiss those men.

01:53:21.000 All right, final video.

01:53:24.000 I thought this was interesting because I thought, what would you do if a cougar was chasing you?

01:53:30.000 And I don't mean an ugly old woman. 0.92

01:53:33.000 Oh.

01:53:34.000 A horny old lady. 1.00

01:53:35.000 What are you doing?

01:53:36.000 I'm at the link.

01:53:40.000 That is not the link.

01:53:41.000 Well, then search cougar there.

01:53:43.000 True.

01:53:47.000 Although the search on Reddit sucks.

01:53:50.000 Oh, that's it.

01:53:51.000 There we go.

01:53:53.000 Yeah, what you can do is there's an option to search within the group that you're in.

01:53:58.000 So seriously, though, what do you do?

01:54:00.000 You can't run.

01:54:01.000 Running is the stupidest thing you could do.

01:54:04.000 Grabbing a rock and throwing it seems like a good idea.

01:54:06.000 Oh, shit.

01:54:09.000 No!

01:54:10.000 What?

01:54:10.000 That looks so weird, doesn't it?

01:54:13.000 And standing your ground doesn't seem like a good idea either.

01:54:17.000 Is that CGI?

01:54:20.000 Look how weird the legs look when it's bolting towards him.

01:54:23.000 Yeah, because it uses its hind legs. 1.00

01:54:31.000 Oh, fuck.

01:54:34.000 Oh, oh, wait, that appeared to come out of nowhere, didn't it?

01:54:38.000 It just re-emerged in the road.

01:54:44.000 Oh, no, it's so it's there.

01:54:48.000 Oh, you, f you, f you.

01:54:51.000 I think he's saying fuck you.

01:54:53.000 Yeah, he sure is.

01:54:56.000 Holy s maybe get a stick?

01:55:00.000 Yeah.

01:55:01.000 I mean, what do you think?

01:55:03.000 Could you climb, or would that be bad?

01:55:05.000 It's great at climbing.

01:55:07.000 Better than you.

01:55:10.000 But couldn't you kick it down while it's climbing?

01:55:12.000 It needs all fours to climb.

01:55:14.000 Yeah, it's probably not going to be great at shooting your face off on a tree.

01:55:18.000 Right.

01:55:20.000 But he doesn't seem to ever have the space to get.

01:55:26.000 See, he lands on the hind legs.

01:55:28.000 I think he's doing exactly the right thing.

01:55:30.000 Retreating, facing it, yelling at it.

01:55:33.000 Maybe pick up a rock.

01:55:36.000 I'm scared for him.

01:55:38.000 This goes on for six minutes, by the way.

01:55:45.000 Go away.

01:55:45.000 Please go away.

01:55:47.000 Holy.

01:55:48.000 Oh, she's probably just protecting her babies because he went near them unknowingly.

01:55:52.000 So that's why he keeps saying, go back to your babies.

01:55:59.000 I would definitely have pissed my pants at this point.

01:56:02.000 Yeah.

01:56:04.000 You don't like the smell of piss and poop.

01:56:07.000 Although I feel like a cougar would have trouble killing you.

01:56:10.000 Really?

01:56:12.000 Go for the neck. 1.00

01:56:13.000 You'd be shredded.

01:56:14.000 Sure.

01:56:16.000 You'd have to get in the neck there, really bleed me out. 0.85

01:56:18.000 Yeah, die of bleeding.

01:56:19.000 A bear will just rip your head off. 0.99

01:56:21.000 Right.

01:56:23.000 Like, bite your head off.

01:56:25.000 Bite your arm off.

01:56:26.000 I don't think a cougar, you know, when you're 200 pounds, it's going to be a lot of scraping.

01:56:33.000 You're going to need 200 stitches, but unless he gets right into the vampire jugglers.

01:56:40.000 I'm big and scary.

01:56:42.000 I'm big and.

01:56:44.000 Cats don't even back down.

01:56:46.000 Look, he's talking to himself.

01:56:47.000 I'm big and scary.

01:56:48.000 Turn it up.

01:56:49.000 Go away.

01:56:51.000 Go away.

01:56:53.000 Go get your babies. 1.00

01:56:54.000 I'm not going to back down, I promise.

01:56:59.000 Holy.

01:57:02.000 I would maybe like start really yelling now.

01:57:04.000 Like, God bomb!

01:57:06.000 And Mama got to be right there, don't they?

01:57:12.000 Dude, you're scary, dude.

01:57:15.000 You're scary.

01:57:16.000 You're a scary kitty cat.

01:57:21.000 Throw a rock.

01:57:22.000 Holy.

01:57:23.000 No, go away. 0.93

01:57:25.000 I think that would engage the fight.

01:57:27.000 Nope.

01:57:28.000 That sucks.

01:57:29.000 That right there.

01:57:30.000 The ears back.

01:57:31.000 Is that fucking that does not look real to me.

01:57:34.000 That's so bizarre to look at.

01:57:36.000 Holy.

01:57:38.000 Yeah, because all you watch is Toy Story.

01:57:40.000 You haven't seen things.

01:57:42.000 I've watched the entire Planet Earth series on pot.

01:57:47.000 Gosh.

01:57:48.000 Where's my gun?

01:57:51.000 Good question.

01:57:55.000 Okay.

01:57:56.000 This is when I...

01:57:59.000 This is what I want.

01:58:00.000 Nope.

01:58:01.000 Get the f ⁇ away. 1.00

01:58:02.000 What if he faints?

01:58:04.000 Stupid kitty cat. 1.00

01:58:05.000 And that whole playing dead thing?

01:58:07.000 No, thanks.

01:58:08.000 Doesn't feel good.

01:58:09.000 I'm not risking that.

01:58:10.000 That's like playing blackjackets and kidney when you have 13.

01:58:14.000 I don't feel like dying today.

01:58:19.000 The cougars.

01:58:24.000 Cougars, they're dangerous. 0.96

01:58:33.000 Got some big fucking rocks there, but if you take a second to bend down, it might make you literally.

01:58:38.000 There's my inn.

01:58:39.000 No.

01:58:43.000 Go away.

01:58:44.000 Go away.

01:58:46.000 I'm looking at a list of fatal cougar attacks.

01:58:49.000 There was two in 2018.

01:58:51.000 Dude.

01:58:53.000 But they seem to be spread out like once every five years or so.

01:58:58.000 Once every five years.

01:59:02.000 Oh, stupid.

01:59:05.000 This sucks ass. 0.99

01:59:06.000 Yeah.

01:59:07.000 This is scary.

01:59:09.000 My heart is racing.

01:59:11.000 Dude.

01:59:13.000 Okay.

01:59:15.000 This is not fun.

01:59:16.000 I'm worried about fainting.

01:59:17.000 I'm worried about tripping.

01:59:19.000 I'm worried about a cougar eating me.

01:59:24.000 Killed in Mexico. 0.76

01:59:26.000 Killed and eaten while walking on a beach.

01:59:28.000 Attacking killed as he tried to outrun a cougar for about 100 yards.

01:59:32.000 Come on, dude.

01:59:35.000 Killed by a three-year-old female tiger.

01:59:37.000 Killed by a cougar near British Columbia while walking on a road.

01:59:39.000 Stalked and killed by a four-year-old male cougar.

01:59:42.000 Attacked and killed by at least two, possibly three cougars while riding a tricycle.

01:59:47.000 That's embarrassing.

01:59:49.000 That's what?

01:59:50.000 That was embarrassing.

01:59:51.000 What was?

01:59:51.000 Riding a tricycle?

01:59:52.000 It was a child.

01:59:54.000 Oh.

01:59:54.000 Good joke, though, Ryan.

01:59:56.000 What a joke.

01:59:58.000 Well, it's embarrassing for the cougar.

02:00:00.000 Shut up. 0.95

02:00:01.000 Yeah, get the f ⁇ away from me. 1.00

02:00:03.000 What happened?

02:00:09.000 Throw a rock?

02:00:10.000 Yeah, get the f ⁇ away from me. 1.00

02:00:11.000 Was that a rock throw?

02:00:17.000 Get me out of the way.

02:00:19.000 Yeah, get the f ⁇ away from me. 1.00

02:00:22.000 Shit, face. 0.97

02:00:24.000 He is picking a rock.

02:00:27.000 Yeah, get the f ⁇ away from me. 1.00

02:00:30.000 Shit face.

02:00:31.000 Shit face.

02:00:34.000 Oh, damn it.

02:00:36.000 Okay.

02:00:38.000 Yeah, so that just happened.

02:00:41.000 Wow.

02:00:43.000 You see that?

02:00:44.000 Oh, some will come, actually.

02:00:47.000 Holy cow. 0.89

02:00:49.000 Holy cow. 0.89

02:00:51.000 Yeah, not going back that way.

02:00:54.000 Yeah.

02:00:54.000 What do you think of that, Trump?

02:00:59.000 Well, that's my goal.

02:01:01.000 To get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - October 13, 2020

S03E24 - FULL RETARD [2020-10-13 - S03E24 - FULL RETARD]

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Summary

Transcript