Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S04E06 -HAPPY JULY FOURTH!

00:00:04.000 American girls and American guys will always stand up and salute we'll always live from New York.

00:00:16.000 It's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin McGinnis.

00:00:20.000 We can sleep in peace at night and move down our heads.

00:00:38.000 My mother, my brother, my sister, me to love and live happy in the land of the free.

00:00:46.000 Now this nation that I love is falling under attack.

00:00:56.000 A mighty sucker punch.

00:00:59.000 That's what 9-11 was to Toby Keith.

00:01:01.000 The mighty sucker punch.

00:01:03.000 That was, of course, red, white, and blue.

00:01:05.000 Today is July 4th for you.

00:01:08.000 It's not July 4th for me.

00:01:09.000 This is a pre-tape.

00:01:10.000 We, of course, are celebrating July 4th.

00:01:14.000 Last July 4th was so terrible that I drove upstate and celebrated it with my friends.

00:01:22.000 I should have footage tomorrow, I guess.

00:01:25.000 Whatever.

00:01:26.000 It'll just be a bunch of fireworks and guys getting drunk.

00:01:29.000 But yeah, last year I let my wife handle it. 1.00

00:01:32.000 I'm going to Pennsylvania to go get all the crazy shit.

00:01:35.000 I'm going to spend, if you spend more than $400, it's two for one at Phantom Fireworks in PA.

00:01:42.000 So I get together with my buddy.

00:01:43.000 We both spend $201.

00:01:47.000 And that's $400.

00:01:49.000 Boom.

00:01:50.000 We got $800 of fireworks.

00:01:52.000 You know how much $800 of fireworks is?

00:01:54.000 It's a lot.

00:01:58.000 Although one time, fucking Albert Hammond Jr., high on heroin, went to Phantom and he spent $10,000.

00:02:07.000 You know how big $10,000 of fireworks is?

00:02:10.000 It's a car.

00:02:11.000 It was a pile that looked like a Honda Civic.

00:02:15.000 And he was setting off fireworks for days.

00:02:17.000 You can't do that many.

00:02:19.000 So like July 8th, he was still setting them off.

00:02:22.000 And neighbors were complaining from miles away.

00:02:24.000 They were driving over to his house to tell him to stop.

00:02:28.000 So that's too far.

00:02:29.000 That's the pendulum going too far the other way.

00:02:32.000 But yeah, last year it was at a friend's house run by women and the only fireworks legal in New York.

00:02:39.000 They go up like six feet and then go back down again and go pack, pack, pack, pack.

00:02:45.000 You could put them in your mouth.

00:02:46.000 You could set them off in your clothes.

00:02:48.000 You probably have a minor abrasion.

00:02:52.000 So we're lighting those off.

00:02:57.000 There was something political going on, like some guy was there who was anti-gun.

00:03:01.000 So that was annoying.

00:03:02.000 What?

00:03:03.000 Who is that guy?

00:03:07.000 And then the craziest part is the dad, the patriarch, he was scared.

00:03:12.000 So he went into the pool and made sure he was in the pool the whole time.

00:03:17.000 And as I've said on the show before, if you think fireworks are dangerous, get your wife and kids in the pool.

00:03:22.000 And you stand out there ready to protect.

00:03:26.000 So I swore.

00:03:27.000 I said, next year, I'm handling it.

00:03:29.000 I handled it this year.

00:03:30.000 I even made sure, because we have a lot of ex-friends upstate.

00:03:33.000 We used to have a place there.

00:03:34.000 And all our friends were gays.

00:03:36.000 And of course, they got Proud Boy Derangement Syndrome, PBDS, and dumptazole.

00:03:43.000 And I was like, I don't want them to be there.

00:03:46.000 And he's like, no, no, they're all going this way.

00:03:48.000 So I've made sure the guests are all kosher. 0.98

00:03:51.000 That's what you have to do in this day and age in post-Trump America.

00:03:54.000 You have to make sure there's going to be no bad vibes.

00:03:58.000 Lost a friend last night.

00:04:01.000 He was like, you know, I only stick around because I'm hoping that you'll get past this fascism and this hate.

00:04:08.000 What?

00:04:10.000 It's exactly what I did.

00:04:12.000 And he goes, at one point he talks about trannies and gay, the millions of, thousands of trannies and gays that are being murdered.

00:04:22.000 I was like, I was like, dude, you're clearly new to this SJW shit.

00:04:30.000 You're not supposed to call them trannies while you're defending them. 1.00

00:04:34.000 And I was like, the trannies that are being murdered are murdered by their black thug boyfriends. 0.98

00:04:38.000 And as far as gays go, what are you talking about?

00:04:40.000 Gays aren't being killed.

00:04:42.000 Are you talking about Matthew Shepard?

00:04:44.000 Because he was a meth addict who was killed by his meth boyfriends.

00:04:51.000 And oppressed people of color is not true.

00:04:55.000 It's racist to think it's not a thing.

00:04:59.000 How do they pull that off?

00:05:00.000 It's racist to think that America is not racist.

00:05:04.000 Okay, I don't care anymore.

00:05:06.000 That word has lost its meaning.

00:05:07.000 It's like this mom at that wedding I was at on Saturday.

00:05:10.000 She said something so brilliant.

00:05:12.000 And she goes, this is how to summarize clown world today.

00:05:15.000 I was at this house, a friend of my brother's, a neighbor, and he's a hoarder.

00:05:20.000 And all his stuff was filled up six feet up high.

00:05:24.000 And the brother said, Marlon, if everything is important, nothing is important.

00:05:32.000 If every single object is here in here is valuable, then none of them are valuable.

00:05:39.000 And that's the way you should see all of this shit, this oppression.

00:05:42.000 They're just hoarders.

00:05:43.000 They're hoarding oppression.

00:05:45.000 And we're looking at it going, if everything is racist, nothing's racist.

00:05:49.000 The word is lost.

00:05:51.000 Sometimes you'll even go, no, no, no, I'm not racist.

00:05:54.000 I just support Trump.

00:05:55.000 And they go, yeah, that means you're racist.

00:05:57.000 And you go, oh, okay, I am racist then.

00:06:02.000 When they justify their accusation, you hear their meaning, their definitions, and you go, oh, okay, yeah, that's fine.

00:06:09.000 I thought racist meant you think that black people are less good than other people, and America should be all white.

00:06:16.000 That's not what it means anymore.

00:06:18.000 It means that you like capitalism.

00:06:20.000 I mean, they've turned it into kind of a good word, a good thing, which is retarded. 0.99

00:06:27.000 Because now people are going, oh, I'm signing up then.

00:06:29.000 Sign me up.

00:06:30.000 I want to join racism.

00:06:31.000 Sounds cool.

00:06:36.000 And then I said to him, I don't think you understand what we go through.

00:06:40.000 Have I talked about all this already?

00:06:41.000 Because I was talking about it last night, and there might be overlap.

00:06:45.000 Okay.

00:06:45.000 I don't remember that.

00:06:46.000 I can't hear you.

00:06:47.000 Yeah.

00:06:50.000 And then I was talking about Dana Lash having to move in the middle of the night and how she has a plan with her principal in case the kids are attacked.

00:06:59.000 And Cassandra Fairbanks, fireworks shot at her home.

00:07:03.000 Her poor daughter has post-traumatic stress disorder.

00:07:06.000 I mentioned what my kids have gone through with their social lives, them being attacked and harassed and harangued and disinvited and ostracized.

00:07:15.000 I talked about other conservatives that don't want me to say their names, but I know them.

00:07:19.000 They have panic rooms.

00:07:20.000 They have bulletproof glass.

00:07:22.000 And he goes, that just comes with the territory.

00:07:24.000 It's like being famous, being a rock star.

00:07:25.000 You get to rock out, but you also have to deal with that.

00:07:28.000 And I was like, no, no, no, no.

00:07:30.000 Chris Hayes shows pictures of his kids all the time.

00:07:33.000 The left can show pictures of their kids.

00:07:35.000 The right cannot.

00:07:37.000 Laura Ingram can't show herself, where she lives, any kind of details about herself.

00:07:43.000 Fucking Anderson Cooper and what's his name from the week, last week tonight, John Oliver.

00:07:50.000 He could be waving with his address in the background.

00:07:53.000 No one cares about the left is not under attack.

00:07:56.000 Anyway, I just said, you know what, dude?

00:07:59.000 You got your mom's inheritance before she died and you haven't had a job since.

00:08:04.000 You got no family, no job.

00:08:06.000 You're living off your dead mother who's not even dead.

00:08:08.000 Go fuck yourself.

00:08:10.000 I'm not changing.

00:08:11.000 I'm not radical.

00:08:13.000 Well, that was the end of that.

00:08:14.000 And I said, by the way, the elephant in the room for the past 30 years has been that you're a fucking loser.

00:08:19.000 It's not a joke.

00:08:23.000 But like, and then these people get so sad.

00:08:25.000 Like, oh, you had to take it personal.

00:08:26.000 That was a low blow.

00:08:27.000 Dude, saying that I am full of hate is personal.

00:08:32.000 I spew hate.

00:08:34.000 Like, I was taking pictures around New York because he's out in the country.

00:08:37.000 And I'm like, here's a, like, when you're walking around New York, especially now, especially if you're conservative and you're a public figure, you're always just like, no headphones, no looking at your phone.

00:08:49.000 You're just always alert, head on a swivel.

00:08:51.000 What's this guy's vibe?

00:08:52.000 Okay, you're not looking at me.

00:08:54.000 All right, all right.

00:08:55.000 And so I'm taking pictures going, should I take my knife out now while I go into the subway?

00:08:59.000 Or what's this guy stare?

00:09:00.000 Is he staring at me?

00:09:01.000 What's going on here?

00:09:01.000 Should I put my mask on?

00:09:03.000 Go in disguise?

00:09:04.000 And he's like, hey man, hate begets hate.

00:09:07.000 What?

00:09:07.000 Maybe he's gay.

00:09:08.000 You ever thought of that?

00:09:09.000 Hate?

00:09:10.000 So now I brought it on myself.

00:09:11.000 See, this is the narrative in that Vanity Fair article from the left.

00:09:15.000 It's Gavin McInnes has to own up to what he's done.

00:09:19.000 He must regret it.

00:09:19.000 Look at the violence he's caused with his extreme rhetoric.

00:09:24.000 What?

00:09:25.000 My extreme rhetoric has been almost as violent and rough and bigoted as the left.

00:09:36.000 Like, well, you said fuck around and find out.

00:09:40.000 Yeah.

00:09:40.000 It's an Ilhan Omar shirt now.

00:09:43.000 Well, you said that we have to fight them in the streets.

00:09:46.000 No, that was Tim Kaine, whose son is in Antifa.

00:09:50.000 Maxine Waters says, harass people when you see them, attack them. 0.89

00:09:55.000 Eric Holding, the attorney general, said, when they go low, we don't go lower.

00:10:01.000 We kick them.

00:10:02.000 No, no.

00:10:02.000 He was criticizing Michelle Obama.

00:10:04.000 He said, Michelle Obama had said, when they go low, we go high.

00:10:07.000 And he goes, no, we don't.

00:10:09.000 When they go low, we kick them.

00:10:11.000 He also said he needs to brainwash Americans.

00:10:13.000 So this is the rhetoric.

00:10:15.000 Dye sis scum. 1.00

00:10:16.000 They're literally doing it forever.

00:10:20.000 And the scrutiny is on the left.

00:10:22.000 Did they cross their T's and dot their I's?

00:10:25.000 It's a bizarre set of double standards that you shouldn't abide by.

00:10:32.000 We used to.

00:10:33.000 We used to go, you know what?

00:10:34.000 I should have been the better person.

00:10:36.000 No.

00:10:38.000 When we go low and they kick us, we kick them back.

00:10:42.000 Anyway, today's a big day.

00:10:45.000 Toby Keith Declaration of Independence.

00:10:48.000 One thing that no one ever talks about with the Declaration of Independence, it was 245 years ago today, right?

00:10:53.000 Here it is.

00:10:54.000 I own it.

00:10:55.000 I stole this from the Chamber of Commerce.

00:10:58.000 And because I thought from Nicholas Cage movies, there'd be a map on the back that would lead to treasure.

00:11:03.000 There are no maps.

00:11:06.000 That's it.

00:11:07.000 So I have to sneak this back because I don't want it anymore.

00:11:10.000 It's tense.

00:11:12.000 But anyway, I got...

00:11:12.000 I don't know what the, how much is this worth, do you think?

00:11:17.000 Probably like...

00:11:17.000 $700 billion and a trillion $300,000 billion dollars.

00:11:24.000 That's perfect, too, because in this, unanimous, I'll read it to you.

00:11:30.000 It's very hard to read the unanimous declaration of the 13 United States of America.

00:11:36.000 So I've transcribed it here.

00:11:38.000 When, in the course of events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with one another and to assume among the powers of the earth the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and nature's God entitle them.

00:11:54.000 See, that's where we get, where do my rights come from?

00:11:57.000 Our rights come from God.

00:11:59.000 A decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

00:12:08.000 We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.

00:12:12.000 You know, you know the thing.

00:12:15.000 Which is what Biden said.

00:12:17.000 And we highly recommend you get these shirts.

00:12:19.000 They're fantastic.

00:12:22.000 That's him with the Declaration of Independence.

00:12:26.000 So people see it and they go, awesome.

00:12:27.000 You like Biden?

00:12:28.000 You go, no, I like laughing at my pet Biden.

00:12:32.000 But what he forgot to say is they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

00:12:44.000 They come from God.

00:12:45.000 Is it a coincidence that he forgot that specific part?

00:12:49.000 He left out the God part?

00:12:50.000 That's Justin Trudeau's thing, is leaving God out of the national anthem.

00:12:54.000 For the DNC, the Democratic National Convention, they left out God.

00:12:57.000 Oh, yeah.

00:12:58.000 On purpose.

00:12:59.000 Twice.

00:13:00.000 Twice.

00:13:02.000 How weird is it to hate God?

00:13:05.000 God's gay. 1.00

00:13:09.000 So you created the universe.

00:13:10.000 Wow.

00:13:11.000 Get over.

00:13:12.000 Yeah.

00:13:13.000 So you're God.

00:13:15.000 That don't impress me much.

00:13:18.000 These Brad Pitt levels.

00:13:20.000 You created the molecules in the solar system.

00:13:24.000 Now, don't get me wrong.

00:13:25.000 I think that's all right.

00:13:27.000 Everything from asteroids to my daughter's fingernails.

00:13:30.000 Created it all.

00:13:31.000 So what?

00:13:32.000 That don't impress me much.

00:13:34.000 Walking in here with your magic powers being ubiquitous, all things at all times.

00:13:42.000 Legislative rights.

00:13:44.000 Governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.

00:13:50.000 Remember, you work for us, you giant DMV.

00:13:54.000 That whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such a form as to them shall seem most likely to affect their safety and happiness.

00:14:10.000 Someone's at the door.

00:14:11.000 You want to just get that?

00:14:12.000 It's going to be...

00:14:12.000 Bugging me.

00:14:13.000 Throwing me off.

00:14:14.000 I got a bunch of other stuff to talk about.

00:14:16.000 But the thing I love about the Declaration of Independence is they declared their independence in the middle of the war.

00:14:23.000 Like, what was it?

00:14:24.000 This is 1776.

00:14:26.000 Maybe I should have it on the desk in the whole time.

00:14:29.000 That's 1776.

00:14:31.000 The American War, the American Revolution was 1765 to 1783.

00:14:39.000 So 76, seven years.

00:14:41.000 You'd think they would win, get the British out and say, okay, we've got to start a country now. 0.99

00:14:47.000 Which is ironically what they said that the January 6th meanders were going to do.

00:14:55.000 Go there, take over, set up a new government, start working on infrastructure.

00:15:03.000 I mean, it's idiotic how much attention this has gotten.

00:15:07.000 And it's not just attention.

00:15:09.000 It's appeals refused, solitary confinement.

00:15:16.000 I mean, I had nothing to do with it.

00:15:18.000 I said, don't go.

00:15:19.000 I said, it's a trap.

00:15:20.000 It's still up my ass.

00:15:23.000 Exactly like Charlottesville.

00:15:24.000 I said, don't go.

00:15:25.000 It's a trap.

00:15:26.000 Right up my ass from the second it was over to right now. 0.88

00:15:31.000 Well, you started the Proud Boys and Jason Kessler organized Charlottesville and he was a proud boy.

00:15:38.000 And no.

00:15:39.000 No, he infiltrated the club twice and was booted twice.

00:15:41.000 They sussed him out.

00:15:42.000 And he infiltrated the club by lying and saying he wasn't all right.

00:15:44.000 Anyway, you know all these stories.

00:15:47.000 But it's amazing that it's amazing that they are accusing the January 6th meanderers as basically the founding fathers.

00:15:58.000 They were going to start again.

00:15:59.000 And as Macy Gray points out, they plan to hang Ted Pence.

00:16:05.000 Clown world.

00:16:07.000 Anyway, this isn't a day for bitching about the radical left.

00:16:11.000 This is a day of celebrating America and their independence.

00:16:14.000 Pretty impressive to have such a small population and to kick out the Brits. 1.00

00:16:19.000 You took on Britain kind of the first, right?

00:16:23.000 But when you think of all the colonies, Canada, Hong Kong, Singapore, all the different commonwealths that Britain owned.

00:16:33.000 And there's a song by the Boomtown Rats about it.

00:16:36.000 A little piece of red.

00:16:37.000 Another piece of red left my atlas today.

00:16:39.000 It's a beautiful song, really well written.

00:16:41.000 Boomtown Rats are a very underrated band.

00:16:43.000 But he goes through all the commonwealths that slowly fell.

00:16:46.000 I kind of think America was the first. 0.86

00:16:48.000 They're definitely the biggest.

00:16:50.000 I think that what happened was after America kicked out the Brits, everyone said, yeah, I'm going to kick him out too.

00:16:55.000 I'm not paying literally a king's ransom.

00:16:58.000 I'm not paying money to another, some island because they took us over.

00:17:01.000 Fuck you.

00:17:02.000 You're welcome, Earth.

00:17:04.000 Sorry, Britain.

00:17:06.000 All right, I got the band.

00:17:07.000 What's the name of the song?

00:17:09.000 Another piece of red left my atlas today.

00:17:13.000 I should have done this research, actually.

00:17:15.000 Maybe I'll have it ready when I come back.

00:17:18.000 But when did all these different pieces of red fall off the atlas?

00:17:26.000 When did they all reject the queen?

00:17:30.000 Put up the lyrics.

00:17:38.000 I was thinking they were lucky to be rid of that shit.

00:17:42.000 The people here but still believe in stiffness and stiff colours.

00:17:46.000 They're speaking deep in English, but they're making deals and dumb.

00:17:54.000 They're breaking up a number.

00:17:57.000 Nobody's buying Britain.

00:17:59.000 They're calling for another part.

00:18:01.000 Nobody's buying Britain.

00:18:03.000 The flags are coming down, everybody's dancing.

00:18:06.000 That's a good song.

00:18:08.000 He lists all the different Commonwealth documents.

00:18:11.000 But I think Canada just really bored Britain away.

00:18:16.000 They declared their independence in 1982.

00:18:22.000 And if you look at them up on Wikipedia, they're still run by the Queen.

00:18:25.000 So you can either fight them and kill them or just sort of bore them to death.

00:18:30.000 So I don't know if we're responsible for kicking out the Brits or if the Brits would have left anyway.

00:18:37.000 It's one of those things.

00:18:39.000 Like Pat Buchanan says about World War II, he says, we shouldn't have gone in there.

00:18:43.000 We should have just let Stalin and Hitler fight each other and kill each other. 0.98

00:18:46.000 And now communism and fascism are dead.

00:18:50.000 Not really sure how that relates to concentration camps, but I'm not sure Buchanan cares.

00:18:57.000 As an immigrant myself, I'm not an immigrate.

00:19:01.000 Remember I told you about that time?

00:19:02.000 My wife had a party, and her friend came up, and she was drunk and ornery. 0.84

00:19:08.000 She was calling my friend Rob a fucking Jew in that tone.

00:19:13.000 And he's not Jewish and she is. 1.00

00:19:15.000 So that was weird.

00:19:17.000 And then she's like, why do you fucking love this country so much with your stupid American flag?

00:19:22.000 You're not American. 1.00

00:19:24.000 I'm like, no, but I'm very happy to be here.

00:19:25.000 I've made a lot of money here.

00:19:27.000 I've been fucked over in the past five years, But besides that, it's a pretty fantastic place.

00:19:32.000 Even someone as canceled as me can carve out a living.

00:19:36.000 And I always say to people: take one thing, focus on it, no matter what it is.

00:19:41.000 In 10 years, you'll be a millionaire.

00:19:43.000 I don't care if it's sweeping a bodega.

00:19:48.000 Yeah, I don't care how blue-collar it is either.

00:19:51.000 You get some people under, you start making bidding on bigger contracts, boom.

00:19:57.000 So as an immigrant, I want to tell you some things.

00:19:59.000 This is a video I made a long time ago, but they're all gone now.

00:20:03.000 So I'll just remind you about some things that I don't quite get about Americans.

00:20:07.000 Number one, of course, being soakers. 1.00

00:20:11.000 Maybe it's because I come from Canada where it's cold, but if you get a wet foot, you have to kill yourself.

00:20:17.000 And you watch these nature shows, and they're just walking through a river.

00:20:22.000 And you're like, you know how long it takes boots to dry?

00:20:25.000 Like, they're going to have to be in front of the fire.

00:20:27.000 I rode my motorcycle a few days ago in the rain.

00:20:31.000 My shoes were wet for like 30 hours.

00:20:33.000 I had to use other shoes.

00:20:35.000 So doesn't that bother you?

00:20:37.000 Is there anything worse than walking around with a soaker? 1.00

00:20:40.000 You're American, Ryan.

00:20:41.000 Yeah.

00:20:42.000 Show yourself.

00:20:42.000 No, it definitely stinks.

00:20:44.000 I mean, I hate that feeling.

00:20:45.000 I've stepped in puddles and then your foot's wet all day, but it's not very common unless you're in the winter.

00:20:50.000 And when you're in the winter, you wear boots or something.

00:20:54.000 Maybe that's it, because we have so much snow and it's always melting and there's all those icy puddles.

00:20:59.000 You guys don't have that.

00:21:01.000 Yeah, no, no, no.

00:21:02.000 Oh, my God.

00:21:02.000 See, shoot yourself.

00:21:04.000 Your day's...

00:21:06.000 Yeah, I don't know why they're smiling.

00:21:09.000 I guess they have fully waterproof boots.

00:21:12.000 Look, he had to pull her away.

00:21:13.000 Did they just film this and just watch multiple people fall?

00:21:16.000 Yeah, look.

00:21:17.000 Oh, I'll be okay.

00:21:20.000 Dude, you know, a non-cold soaker stinks.

00:21:24.000 Yeah.

00:21:24.000 Like, warms.

00:21:25.000 It's the apocalypse.

00:21:27.000 It's really bad, yeah.

00:21:28.000 And what do you do now?

00:21:29.000 Walk around barefoot?

00:21:31.000 And then you go to the office and you just want your socks and shoes over there and you're in a suit with your bare feet?

00:21:36.000 What if someone comes by and wants to have a meeting and you're barefoot guy?

00:21:40.000 I think I'd rather my entire body be completely soaked than just have one article of clothes.

00:21:44.000 Yeah.

00:21:44.000 Because we were doing this thing at the gender reveal where I put a little piece of ice inside of her bra and I was like, hee-hee.

00:21:49.000 And then she did it to me and my underwear and I was like, all right.

00:21:53.000 I don't like you anymore.

00:21:55.000 It was fucking over.

00:21:55.000 I was like, it was wet.

00:21:57.000 Your balls? 0.83

00:21:59.000 Like my butt.

00:21:59.000 Like she did it behind my back and I was like, shit, a wet ass.

00:22:02.000 That's not fun.

00:22:02.000 She's like, you did it to me.

00:22:03.000 I was like, I have no problem with a wet ass. 1.00

00:22:04.000 I shit my pants last night.

00:22:06.000 Nice.

00:22:07.000 George Brett.

00:22:08.000 I'm good for those about once a year.

00:22:10.000 I was just talking to this dude, and I had a fart that was not a fart.

00:22:13.000 Never trust a fart over 50. 1.00

00:22:15.000 When you're over 50, I mean.

00:22:16.000 I went, I shit my pants.

00:22:18.000 And I ran to the bathroom.

00:22:20.000 These explosions of bullshit.

00:22:22.000 I had to like wash my body.

00:22:24.000 It takes a while.

00:22:24.000 You wrap your underwear up in toilet paper.

00:22:26.000 You put that in the waste paper basket.

00:22:28.000 But I was wearing white jeans.

00:22:29.000 Yikes, dude.

00:22:30.000 So I had a little line.

00:22:32.000 Oh, my God.

00:22:33.000 And I said to my wife, yeah, you need to come pick me up because I didn't drive there.

00:22:38.000 She goes, what?

00:22:39.000 Right now?

00:22:40.000 And I go, I shit my pants.

00:22:41.000 I'm wearing white jeans.

00:22:42.000 I can't leave this chair.

00:22:47.000 I'm sorry.

00:22:48.000 How are you doing, Gavin?

00:22:49.000 Gavin?

00:22:52.000 So did she come get you or what?

00:22:54.000 Yeah.

00:22:54.000 Okay, yeah.

00:22:55.000 We had no choice.

00:22:56.000 How did you sit in the car?

00:22:57.000 Oh, it wasn't like...

00:22:58.000 I sat with my pooey bum. 0.86

00:23:01.000 It wasn't like dripping.

00:23:02.000 Right.

00:23:03.000 It was just like a little zoop.

00:23:05.000 Shaped like a vagina. 1.00

00:23:06.000 It was about that big.

00:23:08.000 It's got to be an invention for guys like you.

00:23:12.000 Well, no, you just have to be smarter about your farts.

00:23:15.000 You shouldn't fart in a bar anyway.

00:23:17.000 So it was lose-lose.

00:23:18.000 Yeah, that's good.

00:23:18.000 You either suck it back up or you go, because one time this guy, Mike, we're at the bar.

00:23:23.000 He lets like a death match, a celebrity death match.

00:23:27.000 And I go, dude, are you kidding me?

00:23:29.000 It's a crowded bar.

00:23:31.000 We're all in it now.

00:23:33.000 Yeah.

00:23:33.000 And you know what he said?

00:23:35.000 What?

00:23:36.000 He goes, what, you never farted before?

00:23:38.000 Oh, that's not.

00:23:39.000 I'm not saying I'm a non-farter, but I don't fart in your face, which is what you just did to me.

00:23:46.000 You're putting particles of poo into my body.

00:23:49.000 That is pretty gross.

00:23:53.000 They're very Christian in America.

00:23:54.000 I noticed that.

00:23:55.000 Canada and Britain have all but given up on church.

00:23:59.000 But here, liberals, Democrats, right-wingers, northerners, southerners, churches are always busy, always packed.

00:24:09.000 Americans probably don't think that.

00:24:10.000 They probably think that they're pretty atheist.

00:24:12.000 But when you leave and you go to Britain and you say, I don't accept Jesus Christ as my personal Savior, they go, yeah, of course not.

00:24:21.000 Who would?

00:24:22.000 That's ancient times.

00:24:25.000 I'm sick of looking at that thing.

00:24:28.000 Another thing about Americans that I don't get is they know every celebrity like that. 0.98

00:24:34.000 They look at a guy and they're like, I don't know celebrities' names, but they're like, yeah, that's Dan Markerford.

00:24:40.000 He was on the Rockford Files with Jim Gleason.

00:24:44.000 And you're like, how the fuck do you know that?

00:24:47.000 Every commercial they know.

00:24:49.000 And another thing they do is they watch a TV show they've already seen or they watch a movie they've already seen.

00:24:55.000 I find that confusing.

00:24:58.000 Like every Thanksgiving, they watch The Godfather.

00:25:01.000 You've heard these tropes before if you watch my Rebel videos, but they're gone now, so I might as well.

00:25:06.000 New Year's Eve is Honeymooners.

00:25:08.000 They always do the marathon of the Honeymooners.

00:25:11.000 What?

00:25:11.000 Oh, yeah.

00:25:12.000 The 50s TV show?

00:25:13.000 Oh, yes.

00:25:14.000 Huge.

00:25:15.000 I've never heard that one.

00:25:16.000 Really?

00:25:16.000 Your family watches the honeymooners?

00:25:18.000 They do it every year on WB11.

00:25:19.000 Yeah, we love the honeymooners.

00:25:20.000 But there's like eight years of honeymooners.

00:25:23.000 Yeah, it's a long marathon.

00:25:25.000 It would be 30 hours, dude.

00:25:27.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:25:28.000 So you watch 30 hours of the same TV show?

00:25:31.000 No, you don't watch it.

00:25:32.000 You just tune in, watch like a couple of slaps.

00:25:34.000 Because Thanksgiving, I noticed they always watch The Godfather.

00:25:37.000 Yeah, that's about right.

00:25:38.000 And then they always watch A Christmas Story on Christmas.

00:25:45.000 Yeah.

00:25:45.000 And Scrooged with Bill Murray.

00:25:47.000 Hell yeah.

00:25:47.000 And they always watch Groundhog Day.

00:25:50.000 That was really foreign to me when I moved here.

00:25:53.000 My wife would be like, hey, let's watch Scrooged again with the kids. 1.00

00:25:57.000 I'm like, what?

00:25:58.000 We already saw it.

00:25:59.000 Yeah, I've seen it a Hundred times.

00:26:02.000 These are things that I'm listening are things that I'll never wrap my head around.

00:26:06.000 Uh-oh.

00:26:07.000 Ryan, look.

00:26:08.000 What?

00:26:08.000 Glare.

00:26:09.000 Is that a glare?

00:26:10.000 Yeah.

00:26:12.000 Rockets Red Glare for today.

00:26:16.000 Rockets Red Glare killed Sid Vicious.

00:26:18.000 Oh, that's right.

00:26:19.000 Didn't he brag about it?

00:26:21.000 Yeah.

00:26:21.000 Billy bragged about it.

00:26:24.000 No, I don't know if he bragged about it.

00:26:25.000 He was best friends with the funny guy with the eyes, who all Americans know.

00:26:30.000 You know the guy who was a firefighter, comedian, Steve Bonaducci?

00:26:35.000 He's got those eyes.

00:26:36.000 He was in.

00:26:37.000 He's in the...

00:26:38.000 See, this is how normal people talk about celebrities.

00:26:40.000 Right, right.

00:26:40.000 Non-American.

00:26:41.000 Like not knowing.

00:26:42.000 Steve Bonucci?

00:26:43.000 Steve.

00:26:43.000 Wait, wait, Bonaducci?

00:26:44.000 No?

00:26:45.000 No, no, no.

00:26:45.000 The guy with the old looking weary looks like.

00:26:48.000 Steve Buscemi.

00:26:49.000 Buscemi.

00:26:51.000 Bonasucci.

00:26:52.000 Steve Buscemi.

00:26:53.000 Yes.

00:26:54.000 No Canadians know who Steve Buscemi is.

00:26:56.000 They're like, oh, yeah, and then you remind them and they go, oh, yeah, that guy.

00:26:58.000 And then they instantly forget.

00:27:00.000 We don't keep a roller deck.

00:27:01.000 It's the same with British people, like G. Vaucher from Crass. 1.00

00:27:04.000 We went on that Central Park tour, and he's like, Belinda Ronstadt used to live there, and that's where Bette Midler had a party, and then Mick Jagger got in a fist fight here.

00:27:12.000 And it was all celebrities, which I guess is what most tourists want.

00:27:17.000 And then he's like, so what'd you think?

00:27:18.000 At the end of the tour, she says to the guide, the guy that's leading the horse and carriage thing, she goes, I'm not particularly interested in film stars.

00:27:26.000 I think about that all the time.

00:27:28.000 Every time I see a film star.

00:27:33.000 Here's another thing about Americans that I like.

00:27:35.000 These aren't things that I dislike, by the way.

00:27:37.000 They're just things that make me go, hmm, that you don't notice if you're not a foreigner like me.

00:27:43.000 Extreme patriotism to their town and their state.

00:27:46.000 So like they'll have a tattoo of Wisconsin, the outline, or they'll have jewelry that says Wisconsin.

00:27:52.000 They'll also like want to fight you if you shit on Illinois or wherever they're from.

00:27:57.000 And it could be a shithole.

00:27:58.000 Like Illinois has the south side of Chicago in it.

00:28:01.000 But they're like, fuck you.

00:28:02.000 Some people in Illinois don't even know about Chirac and that Chicago has that rep. My cousin's wife was not familiar with Chirac.

00:28:11.000 And I'm like, babe, it's known as the worst place on earth.

00:28:14.000 There's a murder a day.

00:28:16.000 And it's a third of the size of New York.

00:28:20.000 It should be a third of the deaths.

00:28:24.000 Yeah, and even like anarchists Antifa who hate America and want to burn it down, if you say anything bad about Delaware or wherever the fuck they're from, they get really pissed off.

00:28:34.000 I like that.

00:28:37.000 Canadians aren't like that.

00:28:38.000 You go, you're from Ontario?

00:28:39.000 Ontario sucks.

00:28:40.000 And they go, yeah, I know, it blows.

00:28:41.000 Yeah.

00:28:42.000 We have a Canadian guy in our music group.

00:28:44.000 He's always shitting on the exact place that he is.

00:28:46.000 Canada sucks.

00:28:47.000 It's a shithole.

00:28:48.000 Yeah, I know.

00:28:50.000 Like, they couldn't care less.

00:28:52.000 And the idea of provincial nationalism, outside of Quebec, of course, but like someone, you know, wanting to fight you for dissing Manitoba, it doesn't happen.

00:29:02.000 Maybe they'll fight you for not dissing it hard enough.

00:29:04.000 Like, you think this place fucking rules?

00:29:06.000 Fuck you, fuck. 0.99

00:29:08.000 They'll be very nice about other places.

00:29:11.000 They're like, no, no, that place is pretty nice.

00:29:12.000 That's cool up there.

00:29:14.000 But not if they're in it.

00:29:15.000 Here's another one I don't get.

00:29:17.000 Paper towels instead of cloths.

00:29:20.000 My family goes through a roll of paper towels like every three days.

00:29:24.000 If there's a spill, you go get a paper towel.

00:29:27.000 You clean up the spill, then you crumple up the paper towel and put it in the garbage.

00:29:31.000 My parents are so cheap that we would have the same cloth for everything for years.

00:29:38.000 So it would wash our faces, it would be the dishes.

00:29:42.000 And my mother, I'd have like a little bit of toothpaste here or something downstairs. 1.00

00:29:47.000 She'd take this rotting cloth out of the sink and just rub rotten garbage on my face. 1.00

00:29:54.000 I can smell it right now.

00:29:55.000 I can bring it.

00:29:56.000 It's like the smell of like an old dirty dishwasher, which is what it is.

00:30:02.000 It's almost like it smells like what it is or something.

00:30:04.000 Yeah, it smells like it was sitting around in dirty dishes for years.

00:30:08.000 It was.

00:30:09.000 And that now with my kids, whenever I'm wiping their faces, I basically have imported silk misted with Sierra Mist dewdrops.

00:30:20.000 Because I don't want them to have to go through that.

00:30:22.000 I know that smell you're talking about.

00:30:23.000 We used to use nothing but rags for a long time.

00:30:25.000 You used butt rags?

00:30:27.000 Nothing but butt rags.

00:30:30.000 Really?

00:30:31.000 And it would just cloak your face and you would just smell, yeah, just dirt and grime.

00:30:35.000 Yeah.

00:30:36.000 I got in a big fight with my daughter last night because she spilled some chocolate milk. 0.90

00:30:40.000 So what did she do?

00:30:41.000 She went and got a big bucket of bleach and washed it. 0.87

00:30:46.000 I go, what the?

00:30:49.000 What do I do now?

00:30:51.000 How do you clean the bleach?

00:30:53.000 No, I'm going to have to cut out a hole in the carpet and then try to match it.

00:30:57.000 Wow.

00:30:58.000 Which ain't going to be easy.

00:30:59.000 I bet that's like a trade.

00:31:02.000 This is really stupid.

00:31:03.000 What if you just bleached the rest of it?

00:31:05.000 Yeah, that is stupid.

00:31:07.000 I knew it.

00:31:09.000 I could try to make it a pattern and have all these bleach holes everywhere. 0.59

00:31:18.000 Oh, yeah, this one too.

00:31:19.000 Uh-huh.

00:31:20.000 When you say thank you.

00:31:21.000 In Canada and Britain, I don't know about Australia, but we say, you're welcome.

00:31:25.000 You're welcome.

00:31:26.000 But someone, hey, can I borrow 10 bucks?

00:31:28.000 Yeah.

00:31:28.000 Okay, thanks.

00:31:29.000 Thanks a lot.

00:31:30.000 Huh?

00:31:31.000 Uh-huh.

00:31:34.000 I'm sorry if you've already seen this video, but.

00:31:38.000 And then here's the big one.

00:31:40.000 And it's crazy that Clown World is talking incessantly about racism and how we're racist and transphobic.

00:31:47.000 Nobody in this country gives a shit.

00:31:51.000 They don't care what race you are. 0.99

00:31:53.000 They care about your values.

00:31:55.000 If you're from Manhattan and you move to eastern Tennessee, people there don't like you, and they're right, because you're a fucking locust that's going to ruin their state.

00:32:04.000 Don't California, my Montana.

00:32:06.000 So culturally, they have their issues, but a black redneck moves to Tennessee, yee-haw, Dixie flag. 1.00

00:32:13.000 Come on in, Earl.

00:32:16.000 I mean, there's loose tendencies where in the North you find that they like white people like blacks in theory, but not in practice.

00:32:24.000 And then in the South, they like them in practice, but not in theory.

00:32:26.000 But that's a very surface trend.

00:32:29.000 It doesn't really define behavior.

00:32:31.000 They just have three concerns.

00:32:34.000 All Americans have three concerns. 0.91

00:32:36.000 I always say I'm the most misunderstood person in America.

00:32:38.000 America is the most misunderstood country in the world.

00:32:41.000 Three things.

00:32:43.000 One, don't touch my fucking guns.

00:32:45.000 Okay, we built this country on guns.

00:32:47.000 Remember how this whole thing started?

00:32:49.000 The Brits wanted, they didn't want to have to use their army and their law enforcement.

00:32:55.000 They wanted them to be self-sufficient.

00:32:56.000 So they said, get them all a gun.

00:32:58.000 And then they said, and everyone has to train.

00:33:02.000 They didn't want to train.

00:33:02.000 I worked all day at the farm.

00:33:04.000 Okay, how about this?

00:33:05.000 I'll give you free beer at the tavern if you train with a gun with us and take gun classes.

00:33:09.000 And okay.

00:33:10.000 So then they did that.

00:33:11.000 And that was dumb on Britain's part because we had community.

00:33:16.000 Remember we were talking with that Polish vicar?

00:33:19.000 The parish, what do you call him?

00:33:21.000 Parishioner? 0.81

00:33:22.000 No.

00:33:22.000 Pastor.

00:33:23.000 Pastor.

00:33:25.000 He said, the reason my church is shut down is because I create community.

00:33:29.000 And when the community gets together, the people get together, then they can start plotting to take over, to be independent, to not listen to other people.

00:33:40.000 You know, what's politics?

00:33:42.000 People want to be left alone and people who won't leave them the fuck alone.

00:33:46.000 People who won't leave them the fuck alone were the Brits, and these are the people who wanted to be left alone.

00:33:50.000 So community's dangerous, and that's what Britain learned the hard way. 0.99

00:33:54.000 Because they sat in the tavern, they talked, talked about the taxes going over to the king.

00:34:00.000 I sound like Colin Quinn now.

00:34:02.000 So these guys had had enough bullshit with the fucking king.

00:34:04.000 So they're sitting around.

00:34:06.000 You like how he does his cool history, the swearing teacher? 1.00

00:34:10.000 Yeah, I mean, my old, you know, the British are over there like a coffee cup. 1.00

00:34:15.000 I mean, the history of Britain and America is the same as Yankees and the Red Sox.

00:34:20.000 Britain got the Red Sox and the long-term rivalry, and they said, ah, I want to.

00:34:24.000 Anyway.

00:34:24.000 The British are like, hey, get out of here.

00:34:27.000 He just boils it down.

00:34:28.000 But people do that with religion, too.

00:34:30.000 So these archangels were like, fuck Jesus, he's a dick. 1.00

00:34:34.000 Like, oh, now I like Christianity because you added swear words. 0.96

00:34:37.000 Thanks for cooling it up.

00:34:38.000 That's ruined everything that tries to do that for me since you've mentioned that about two years ago, yeah.

00:34:44.000 For the first time, you're like, oh, that's cool.

00:34:45.000 Because I was reading about the deal.

00:34:46.000 I was like, the devil was like, cool learning is the gayest thing in the world. 1.00

00:34:50.000 I'm telling you about sex.

00:34:51.000 So here's the thing.

00:34:52.000 You want to fuck a chick. 0.99

00:34:53.000 She wants to get fucked. 1.00

00:34:55.000 So God made her pussy wet. 1.00

00:34:56.000 So the dick, which is just full of blood, it goes right inside and starts going in and out and in and out.

00:35:00.000 And then eventually it's got to go somewhere.

00:35:02.000 So this thing called Jizz is like, peace, penis, I'm out of here.

00:35:07.000 And it goes swimming into the woman.

00:35:09.000 And then there's some ovaries there. 1.00

00:35:11.000 And they're like, yo, what's up?

00:35:12.000 And the sperms are like, oof, hey, ooh. 0.98

00:35:15.000 Then they make a person that comes flying out the same hole that the penis went in. 0.98

00:35:18.000 Dig?

00:35:19.000 That's so fucking funny.

00:35:20.000 So true.

00:35:26.000 But yeah.

00:35:27.000 So they started talking and conversing and creating a community and then they kicked out the Brits.

00:35:30.000 And I do believe that was the first domino that ended Britain's reign globally.

00:35:36.000 I mean, there's a million other factors too, but all it takes with a bully is one bonk. 0.88

00:35:43.000 So yeah, they learned the guns.

00:35:44.000 So that's why the First Amendment and the Second Amendment are so crucial.

00:35:47.000 Because the First Amendment was the tavern. 0.65

00:35:49.000 That was the bar.

00:35:50.000 That was the beer.

00:35:51.000 That was the people talking with each other.

00:35:53.000 Now, big tech is controlling the national conversation.

00:35:56.000 They're saying, no more taverns, no more talking.

00:35:58.000 You don't talk to you.

00:35:59.000 I'm going to put you in your little bubbles. 1.00

00:36:01.000 Which is why when you argue with the liberal, they've never heard any of this shit.

00:36:05.000 Because they've never been outside their bubble.

00:36:11.000 So the First Amendment and the Second Amendment are the guns and the tavern, which started this whole thing.

00:36:16.000 And that's why you can't compare America to Germany or something.

00:36:19.000 You know, Germany has a tenth of the people per capita that we have locked up. 0.96

00:36:23.000 Yeah, we have more crime here.

00:36:25.000 It's nothing to do with the guns.

00:36:27.000 We have more crime going on.

00:36:30.000 Demographics have a little more to do with it, I'm afraid.

00:36:33.000 They didn't ban axes, and look what happened in Times Square the other day.

00:36:36.000 You brought that up on Censored Compound last week.

00:36:39.000 Well, New York City has the strictest gun laws around, and they still got to murder a day.

00:36:46.000 We're the only ones who don't get guns.

00:36:49.000 So, one, don't come for my guns.

00:36:57.000 Two, the other biggies don't fuck with my kids. 1.00

00:37:01.000 You can do all your dumb gay pride. 0.87

00:37:03.000 People, like gay pride, they yell out, we're here, we're queer, get used to it. 0.66

00:37:09.000 We're used to it.

00:37:10.000 We don't give a shit.

00:37:11.000 Especially they have pride parades in New York and San Francisco like there's any kind of pushback.

00:37:17.000 Go nuts.

00:37:18.000 Have a big gay parade.

00:37:20.000 I don't think kids should be at it.

00:37:22.000 Did you see that article?

00:37:24.000 1-3.

00:37:27.000 Don't worry, I'll get back to my three things.

00:37:30.000 I know you think one of them is going to be free speech.

00:37:32.000 It's not, unfortunately.

00:37:33.000 Free speech is an integral part of American history, but Americans don't seem that dedicated to preserving it.

00:37:41.000 It's a major problem with this country.

00:37:44.000 Cancel culture and censorship are tolerated.

00:37:47.000 Yes, kink belongs at Pride, and I want my kids to see it. 0.99

00:37:50.000 So this woman always does me search, doesn't actually write anything. 1.00

00:37:54.000 It's just like, I'm a parent of a child.

00:37:56.000 As someone who's a mom, this is what I do when I wake up.

00:38:00.000 This is how I make cereal.

00:38:02.000 Children need to know that they can make their own ways in the world, she says.

00:38:07.000 See, this is when Americans go. 0.94

00:38:09.000 And you'll notice, by the way, Lauren Chen put this out.

00:38:11.000 It's been retweeted 2,000 times and only 39 people approve out of 2,000.

00:38:18.000 It's a white pill ratio.

00:38:21.000 Go to 1-4?

00:38:23.000 Yeah.

00:38:24.000 Anyway, the point of her article is, kids have to know that people have kinks.

00:38:30.000 By the way, you know what kinks she's talking about at a pride parade? 1.00

00:38:33.000 De-it de poo-poo. 1.00

00:38:35.000 Literally.

00:38:36.000 Actually, wow.

00:38:36.000 Like poo fetish.

00:38:38.000 I believe it's called scat, play, golden showers, fisting, orgies.

00:38:48.000 Children should know that when they get to orgy age, it'll be okay. 0.82

00:38:54.000 And no, they don't.

00:38:55.000 They don't need to know anything about sex at a young age.

00:39:00.000 Well, I'm worried that when I grow up and I like to be spanked, people will ostracize me.

00:39:05.000 No kid has ever wondered that, ever.

00:39:07.000 Kids don't like getting spanked. 1.00

00:39:09.000 It means you're a bad boy.

00:39:13.000 So they don't need to know.

00:39:16.000 You know what?

00:39:17.000 I'm never learning guitar.

00:39:18.000 I'm never learning how to do a scale or a solo.

00:39:22.000 So you don't need to make sure that my guitar riffs will be accepted by the public.

00:39:27.000 It's not on the plate.

00:39:28.000 It's not on their plate.

00:39:30.000 What a strange obsession, too.

00:39:33.000 Keep kids and sex separate. 0.91

00:39:34.000 Okay, so the first one was don't touch the guns, and I explain why.

00:39:38.000 I wish free speech was one of these, but it's not.

00:39:41.000 The second is kids.

00:39:42.000 Don't go near my kids.

00:39:44.000 You'll notice that they've tolerated the bathrooms, transgender bathrooms, and everything. 0.99

00:39:50.000 And they didn't care.

00:39:52.000 But when critical race theory started creeping into schools, now you're finally seeing people fight back.

00:39:56.000 They'll get the vaccine.

00:39:57.000 They'll wear a mask indoors.

00:40:00.000 They'll double mask.

00:40:01.000 They'll take all that abuse, but they won't, thank God, they won't let people abuse their kids.

00:40:05.000 Although Drag Queen's Story Hour, well, who really tolerates that? 0.99

00:40:10.000 Like out of 100 Americans, I bet five think it's perfectly reasonable.

00:40:17.000 Another 80 would say, not my cup of tea, I'm not going to go fight against it, but my kids are definitely going nowhere near it.

00:40:24.000 And then 15, we need to shut this down.

00:40:27.000 So that's number two.

00:40:29.000 And then number three is, don't apologize for me.

00:40:32.000 Americans are very proud.

00:40:34.000 Left-wing, right-wing, they're the most patriotic people I've ever come across.

00:40:39.000 I mean, dude, in France, they think the French flag is a fascist symbol.

00:40:45.000 So they don't hang the French flag.

00:40:47.000 To have a French flag on your door or to wear it on a shirt is that's fascism.

00:40:53.000 They're that ashamed of themselves.

00:40:57.000 Canadians, I mean, there's Canada Day, but for the most part, you don't really see a lot of maple leaves being flown around if they're not in the military or something.

00:41:04.000 Britain, exact same thing.

00:41:06.000 Like Morrissey would wrap himself in the British flag on stage, and he was called a fascist just for that.

00:41:11.000 Not for what he said, but for waving the British flag.

00:41:16.000 Now, in America, it's very rare for someone to be outraged just at the flag.

00:41:21.000 And you will see it on liberals' homes.

00:41:22.000 So when Obama went around the world apologizing on behalf of America, he fucked up.

00:41:31.000 That's why Trump won.

00:41:32.000 Obama created Trump by apologizing.

00:41:35.000 What did he do to NASA?

00:41:36.000 He turned it into a world apology tour where we went and thanked Muslims for inventing math and told them that they were a huge part of the space program.

00:41:45.000 What?

00:41:46.000 What?

00:41:48.000 Just go put a man on the moon, dude. 1.00

00:41:52.000 Speaking of America and independence, Kodak Black.

00:41:57.000 Wait, all this news will be old news.

00:42:00.000 Right?

00:42:01.000 Well, I've already said it.

00:42:02.000 1-1.

00:42:04.000 Trump pardoned this guy so he wouldn't appear racist.

00:42:07.000 Trump didn't want to appear racist.

00:42:09.000 Before Snowden and Assange.

00:42:12.000 And this is what he's doing.

00:42:14.000 What's the volume?

00:42:15.000 Are people laughing?

00:42:16.000 Is there any sound to that?

00:42:19.000 I can't get any sound here.

00:42:20.000 Is he sad?

00:42:21.000 Let me make sure this is.

00:42:23.000 Is the volume on?

00:42:25.000 What's the part?

00:42:26.000 Also, my other question is, does money float?

00:42:31.000 I've never thrown money into the water.

00:42:34.000 There's a no volume here.

00:42:38.000 I guess it's a thing with no volume.

00:42:42.000 Oh, I'm glad you showed that.

00:42:44.000 What, this?

00:42:44.000 Oluca?

00:42:45.000 Yeah.

00:42:52.000 Great fucking movie.

00:42:54.000 Oh, yeah?

00:42:54.000 Oh, my God.

00:42:55.000 I watched it with my son, and I was kind of bummed.

00:42:58.000 Great, I gotta watch a fucking kid's movie.

00:43:00.000 Dude, the quality of cartoons these days is stunning.

00:43:05.000 Stunning.

00:43:06.000 They're the best they've ever, they're better than they've ever been.

00:43:09.000 I'm going back to like the 24 frames a second Mickey Mouse stuff where they would painstakingly draw and color every cell.

00:43:17.000 Then there was the 90s zenith where TV cartoons were awesome.

00:43:21.000 We talked about that a couple weeks ago.

00:43:22.000 But right now, these fucking...

00:43:30.000 These CGI, like the Martins versus the Machines, and now Luca, wow.

00:43:38.000 I think there's rumors that it's meant to indoctrinate kids into homosexuality.

00:43:42.000 Yeah, that they, well, I also saw an article that they dropped the ball on making it a bi-positive thing.

00:43:48.000 It was queer baiting. 0.99

00:43:50.000 It was almost queer, but then not quite. 0.87

00:43:52.000 Queer baiting. 0.99

00:43:53.000 They dropped the ball on being a for kids queer movie.

00:43:57.000 Yeah, good.

00:43:58.000 Thank you for dropping the ball on that.

00:44:00.000 Yeah, it's a good movie, but they left out sex.

00:44:04.000 Really disappointing.

00:44:05.000 It could have been such a great sex movie for kids.

00:44:08.000 God damn it.

00:44:10.000 Kids don't know they're gay. 0.99

00:44:11.000 I believe you're born gay, but kids don't know they're gay. 0.85

00:44:14.000 So just leave it out, okay?

00:44:16.000 Wait to their sexual beings. 0.99

00:44:18.000 Stop worrying about kids and sex.

00:44:22.000 So yeah.

00:44:23.000 Guns, kids, pride.

00:44:26.000 That's what America is.

00:44:28.000 Yet you turn on the TV and it's all about bigotry and hate and systemic racism.

00:44:32.000 And Joe Biden says it's our two biggest problems in the world.

00:44:41.000 And then we have Ilhan Omar talking about our troops like they're terrorists.

00:44:47.000 Correct me if I'm wrong, but Mogadishu, didn't we go there because we were sending them aid and a brutal dictator was taking it all and murdering his people?

00:44:59.000 Now, I'm an isolationist.

00:45:02.000 When I hear stuff like that, I go, sorry, Mogadishu.

00:45:04.000 You solve your own problems.

00:45:06.000 But click on those pics.

00:45:08.000 Ilan Omar compared the Army Rangers.

00:45:10.000 Wait, go back.

00:45:13.000 Ilhan Omar compared the Army Rangers who died during a humanitarian mission to Somalia to terrorists.

00:45:19.000 Those Rangers were heroes trying to save civilian lives.

00:45:21.000 She's done this before.

00:45:24.000 And what's this now?

00:45:28.000 All lives matter, even though 230 is more than 10 times 19.

00:45:30.000 In his selective memory, he forgets to also mention the thousands of Somalis killed by American forces that day.

00:45:36.000 Somalis?

00:45:37.000 They were the despot's military wing, paramilitary wing.

00:45:43.000 They were his enforcers.

00:45:45.000 Yes, they did happen to be Somalian, the same way MS-13 happens to be, well, they're everything now, but El Salvadorian. 0.53

00:45:55.000 What's the next one?

00:45:56.000 Actually, the worst terrorist attack in Somalia history, should be Somali history, was the Battle of Mogadishu, 19 U.S. Armed Forces dead and 73 wounded.

00:46:07.000 Unbelievable.

00:46:08.000 Anyway, let's jump over to my pet Biden, shall we?

00:46:16.000 Because he's still going.

00:46:20.000 Biden.

00:46:21.000 On him I can defend.

00:46:24.000 My pet.

00:46:25.000 Biden.

00:46:27.000 President.

00:46:28.000 He's big and loose.

00:46:29.000 Sleepy.

00:46:30.000 But a friendly monster too.

00:46:33.000 My pet.

00:46:34.000 Biden.

00:46:34.000 Wait, what?

00:46:34.000 That doesn't rhyme.

00:46:40.000 Oh, you got to look up these.

00:46:41.000 Did you see the t-shirt?

00:46:42.000 Yeah, that was cool.

00:46:43.000 I think we got to make that a shirt, right?

00:46:45.000 It's amazing.

00:46:46.000 It's very inside-y.

00:46:47.000 It looks very like Gravity Falls-ish.

00:46:50.000 Yeah.

00:46:51.000 I think we should make MyPet Biden bigger. 0.99

00:46:53.000 My rule with t-shirts is triangular.

00:46:57.000 Oh, yeah, I noticed that.

00:46:59.000 So it should be big and then get smaller.

00:47:01.000 Because when you have a shirt that's sort of, well, that's sort of hourglass-shaped or vase-shaped, it looks weird on dudes.

00:47:08.000 It's got to be a big MyPet Biden, a little drawing.

00:47:12.000 I hereby decree.

00:47:14.000 So that'll be out soon.

00:47:15.000 We're going to fix up the t-shirt shop because we have a bunch new Bidens coming in where he said, et cetera, et cetera.

00:47:24.000 Remember that one?

00:47:25.000 Etc., etc.

00:47:28.000 Here he is still whispering.

00:47:30.000 Hey, people who voted for him, are you okay?

00:47:33.000 Like, I got to meet them.

00:47:35.000 I did meet one, and I said, no judgments here.

00:47:38.000 I'm just genuinely curious.

00:47:41.000 Do you see this catastrophe that is Joe Biden?

00:47:44.000 He's Mr. Magoo.

00:47:45.000 Do you see this bird that is the bald eagle?

00:47:48.000 Take the bird which is the bald eagle.

00:47:52.000 The bird which is the bald eagle.

00:47:55.000 That's the day to revere that animal.

00:47:58.000 July 4th.

00:47:58.000 Oh, yeah, that's July 4th.

00:48:00.000 I think my wife can kill him. 1.00

00:48:03.000 Indians can kill bald eagles. 1.00

00:48:04.000 Take the bird which is the bald eagle.

00:48:08.000 That'd be funny if he said, if Indians have an exception and are allowed to kill bald eagles, then should police not have an exception and be able to kill miscreant drug-addicted porn stars who will not comply? 0.82

00:48:21.000 And his lawyer's like, what are you doing?

00:48:24.000 Sorry, my name's Felonius.

00:48:30.000 The bird that is the falled eagle.

00:48:32.000 So this is old news by now.

00:48:34.000 Sorry, folks.

00:48:36.000 But he's still whispering.

00:48:40.000 Hey, guys.

00:48:41.000 I think it's time to give ordinary people a tax break.

00:48:45.000 The wealthy are doing fine.

00:48:48.000 I mean it.

00:48:50.000 The wealthy are doing fine.

00:48:51.000 They're leaving.

00:48:52.000 Why is this not a tax break?

00:48:55.000 Why don't you talk to the wealthy in California about their taxes and what they've done?

00:49:01.000 When you tax something, you get less of it.

00:49:03.000 Tax more rich people.

00:49:04.000 I'd split with Coulter on this.

00:49:05.000 She's big on taxing the very rich. 1.00

00:49:08.000 Hedge fund guys.

00:49:10.000 Which it's important to recognize that there's nuance on the right.

00:49:16.000 People just assume, oh, you're the pro-racism party.

00:49:20.000 No, dude.

00:49:22.000 Like, Israelis, go to Israel. 1.00

00:49:24.000 Tell them that you think they shouldn't get the $3.5 billion a year.

00:49:27.000 A lot of them will go, yeah, I agree.

00:49:29.000 It causes too much animosity.

00:49:31.000 We have our own industry here.

00:49:36.000 Well, that's a giveaway.

00:49:38.000 Hey, guys.

00:49:39.000 I think it's time to give ordinary people a tax break.

00:49:43.000 This is Mr. Magoo.

00:49:45.000 This is a character in a sitcom.

00:49:47.000 So the guy I asked, hey, he actually built this desk out of doors.

00:49:54.000 He said, I don't watch the news anymore.

00:49:56.000 I can't.

00:49:57.000 I haven't turned on the news since Spider-Man.

00:49:59.000 What?

00:50:00.000 Isn't that kind of fucked up?

00:50:02.000 That's like you assign orphans to foster parents and you assign them some crazy radical trans lunatic activist to own the libs and now you don't want to check on the kid anymore because it's too depressing. 0.68

00:50:17.000 Fuck you.

00:50:17.000 To wash your hands of a decision you've made.

00:50:19.000 Exactly.

00:50:20.000 That's what they're doing.

00:50:21.000 Look, we got rid of Trump.

00:50:22.000 I mean, that was a bumper sticker I saw.

00:50:25.000 It was any human being but Trump.

00:50:28.000 Or it had a coffee mug and it was like a coffee mug 2020 or whatever it was.

00:50:36.000 They'd rather a mug.

00:50:38.000 Well, you got a mug, all right.

00:50:40.000 He's, I mean, I noticed this when Trump was elected and I wasn't a total pariah.

00:50:46.000 Liberals would say to me, so you're happy with him, right?

00:50:49.000 And I'm like, yes.

00:50:50.000 And they go, everything?

00:50:52.000 The grabbing the pussy? 1.00

00:50:53.000 I go, yeah.

00:50:55.000 It's true.

00:50:56.000 When you're rich and famous and powerful, women do let you grab them by the pussy. 1.00

00:51:02.000 That's true.

00:51:03.000 They're called groupies.

00:51:05.000 Talk to Vince Neal.

00:51:08.000 But he said you can just go up and grab anyone's pussy. 1.00

00:51:11.000 And no, he didn't.

00:51:12.000 But he said Nazis are very fine people. 0.99

00:51:14.000 And no, he didn't.

00:51:16.000 But he said all Mexicans are rapists.

00:51:18.000 No, he didn't.

00:51:20.000 Your orange man is a straw man. 0.50

00:51:24.000 What fucker said that? 0.90

00:51:27.000 Or this is now ancient news for you.

00:51:29.000 Sorry, these shows.

00:51:30.000 I probably shouldn't cover news on these shows when they're pre-taped.

00:51:33.000 But of course, he was in Miami, which is now last week.

00:51:38.000 And 150 people crushed to death in probably the most horrific way to die imaginable.

00:51:44.000 In fact, you say that in bars.

00:51:46.000 If the conversation's boring and you just want to shoot the shit, you say, what would you rather?

00:51:51.000 Drown or be buried alive?

00:51:53.000 Which I learned from British pub goers.

00:51:55.000 British people, one thing I miss about them is they're great in pubs.

00:51:59.000 They're great at patter, as they call it.

00:52:02.000 And if you suck at it, they tell you.

00:52:03.000 And like in Scotland, they'll go, see you, your patter's rotten.

00:52:07.000 That means you suck at conversations.

00:52:10.000 But yeah, buried alive or drown.

00:52:12.000 Which would you prefer?

00:52:13.000 I think I'd go with drown, but I'm not a fan of either.

00:52:16.000 Oh, that's another pet peeve of mine.

00:52:17.000 Women always do that. 1.00

00:52:18.000 Neither.

00:52:20.000 Yeah.

00:52:20.000 Yeah, I know.

00:52:22.000 I know you don't want to die.

00:52:23.000 You're alive right now.

00:52:23.000 If you wanted to die, you would have killed yourself.

00:52:25.000 What?

00:52:27.000 So Biden sits down and he says, you know what?

00:52:30.000 There's a good side to this.

00:52:32.000 We've shown that the president can come down and help you.

00:52:36.000 What?

00:52:37.000 Hey, 9-11, we lost 3,000 people, but let's look on the bright side.

00:52:42.000 At least we got to build a new tower.

00:52:45.000 What else are you going to say, Joe?

00:52:47.000 A lot of these people in that building were dicks.

00:52:52.000 What if he goes, I just want to say, thank God that it happened in a low IQ city like Miami and not a real city like DC or New York, you know, where people have brains and aren't just like wandering Cuban immigrants. 1.00

00:53:04.000 You know what I mean?

00:53:07.000 So do we have the data on what percentage of the victims were dicks?

00:53:11.000 Maybe, hey, maybe one of them was a pedophile.

00:53:15.000 Collateral damage.

00:53:17.000 It's a pretty good trade.

00:53:18.000 Pretty good.

00:53:19.000 Hey, there's some gold.

00:53:21.000 You know, good news?

00:53:22.000 I got to come down to Miami, meet you guys.

00:53:24.000 Actually, wait, that is what he said.

00:53:27.000 I'm trying to exaggerate.

00:53:29.000 But go to the article.

00:53:33.000 Hello?

00:53:35.000 No, no, that's the video.

00:53:38.000 You know what's good about this?

00:53:39.000 Biden said at a briefing with local leaders.

00:53:42.000 We're letting the nation know we can cooperate and when it's really important.

00:53:47.000 I just got back from 12 days in Europe.

00:53:49.000 You wonder whether we can do this, and you're doing it.

00:53:51.000 I mean, just a simple act of everybody doing whatever needs to be done.

00:53:55.000 That sentence means nothing.

00:53:58.000 I'm back to high school teacher.

00:54:01.000 This makes no sense.

00:54:03.000 I just got back from 12 days in Europe.

00:54:05.000 Okay.

00:54:06.000 So what does that mean?

00:54:08.000 Normally you'd be at home resting from your horrible 12-day journey.

00:54:13.000 You know, you didn't fly the plane.

00:54:14.000 You just sat in a chair the whole fucking time.

00:54:17.000 You wonder whether we can do this.

00:54:20.000 Meaning what?

00:54:21.000 Meat?

00:54:21.000 And you're doing it.

00:54:23.000 Just the same.

00:54:24.000 What are you talking?

00:54:25.000 Like, this is the guy that's running the free world.

00:54:29.000 Does he mean cope?

00:54:30.000 Like, you're wondering how you could do this and you're doing it?

00:54:33.000 No, what's happening is he's coming up with new thoughts as his mouth moves.

00:54:37.000 So his first thought was, you know, it's amazing.

00:54:40.000 The good news is I just realized that even if I'm done a trip in Europe, bang, I can be down here and help you guys.

00:54:45.000 That's one thought.

00:54:46.000 Then as he's saying that, another one comes up, which is, you know, when there's a collapse, you wonder if we can all as a community, you know, as political leaders get together and solve the problem.

00:54:56.000 And then his third thought comes in as he's talking and he goes, you guys saw a catastrophe and now you're meeting people and getting me in.

00:55:05.000 He has three thoughts going simultaneously.

00:55:07.000 His brain and his mouth are not just disconnected.

00:55:10.000 They're arch enemies.

00:55:13.000 This is Joe Biden's mouth.

00:55:17.000 This is his brain.

00:55:20.000 And the rest of America is like, come on, you two.

00:55:24.000 Work it out, please.

00:55:28.000 Oh, my God.

00:55:29.000 You should really, you know, be the translator for Biden because I don't know anybody else who's, I mean, people that voted for him, that like him, want to know what he's talking about.

00:55:36.000 Probably don't have to say that.

00:55:37.000 Here's the secret to understanding Joe Biden.

00:55:40.000 You read it, you read it again, you read it a third time, then you go have a break.

00:55:49.000 Go have a tea, talk to a friend, relax, maybe have a warm bath, do a thing, and then come back with fresh eyes and read it a fourth time.

00:56:00.000 And you can usually understand sort of where he's going.

00:56:03.000 Sometimes, of course, he just says, you know, the thing, and you have to go grab the Declaration of Independence to see that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

00:56:18.000 Probably should have that memorized if you're the leader of the free world.

00:56:21.000 The document that started it all.

00:56:23.000 All right.

00:56:24.000 Ryan, I figured out a way to do the news.

00:56:27.000 I mean, sorry, the mailbag.

00:56:29.000 So, can you go get me my computer?

00:56:32.000 I forgot to bring it.

00:56:33.000 Sure.

00:56:35.000 See if you can play the thing and be back by the time it's done.

00:56:38.000 I like that.

00:56:39.000 This is like that shopping center.

00:56:44.000 Shopping spree thing?

00:56:45.000 Yeah.

00:56:46.000 All right.

00:56:47.000 Well said, Gav.

00:56:49.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.

00:56:54.000 Let's turn our eyes together.

00:57:00.000 Let me touch it.

00:57:01.000 Close.

00:57:04.000 Um, that's another thing about Americans.

00:57:09.000 I don't think they run very fast.

00:57:12.000 I could run fast, but there's a lot of objects, and I don't want to look.

00:57:14.000 No, I obviously took that into consideration.

00:57:17.000 Oh, I see.

00:57:18.000 I could run my buns off.

00:57:20.000 No.

00:57:20.000 Did we ever race?

00:57:22.000 That's bullshit.

00:57:22.000 We've raced.

00:57:23.000 We've never raced, and I promise you I will smoke you.

00:57:27.000 We got to film this now.

00:57:28.000 My son keeps challenging me to a race, and he's a very good athlete.

00:57:32.000 But all I do is just look behind me and see my little boy gets smaller and smaller and smaller as I tear through the air.

00:57:43.000 I had to remove .tv because we got sued.

00:57:49.000 Oh, did you see there's a censored TV?

00:57:53.000 It's all African? 0.95

00:57:54.000 No.

00:57:55.000 You didn't see that?

00:57:56.000 Okay.

00:57:56.000 I put that in the group chat.

00:57:58.000 It's amazing.

00:57:59.000 Pull it up.

00:58:00.000 I am.

00:58:02.000 It's amazing.

00:58:04.000 Where is it?

00:58:05.000 One second.

00:58:06.000 Anyway, this is what drunk people have on their computers.

00:58:09.000 The tile.

00:58:10.000 Got tile in my wallet.

00:58:12.000 Got tile on my keys.

00:58:13.000 Got tile.

00:58:14.000 I have a thing called Orbit on my glasses so I can track my lost materials.

00:58:21.000 Censored television.

00:58:22.000 Censored TV.

00:58:23.000 Look at their logo, too.

00:58:24.000 It's like kind of our font.

00:58:25.000 They use Axis, which is a font that we do use sometimes.

00:58:28.000 And they have the TV in a different color.

00:58:31.000 Or just like a wilder font.

00:58:34.000 What does it say?

00:58:36.000 Latest updates on politics, sports, social matters, entertainment, and also developing creative ideas and campaigns advertising.

00:58:45.000 Let's see that video, the second one there.

00:58:59.000 Is it Christian? 0.68

00:59:00.000 Are they saying they're censored because they're too Christian?

00:59:03.000 Maybe.

00:59:04.000 Who's censoring them?

00:59:10.000 They won't.

00:59:11.000 We are trying to sing about Revelation and they won't let us.

00:59:14.000 Actually, I shouldn't be mocking it.

00:59:16.000 Maybe there's Muslim gangs decapitating babies over there for being Christian. 0.93

00:59:19.000 Maybe not.

00:59:20.000 They're not censored, but they're like murdered.

00:59:24.000 Well, they keep getting shut down from the Lion King.

00:59:26.000 They're like, you can't sing this song.

00:59:28.000 This is ours.

00:59:30.000 That was dumb.

00:59:30.000 I'm sorry.

00:59:31.000 That joke reeked up the studio.

00:59:35.000 Stinked.

00:59:35.000 It ruined Independence Day for everyone.

00:59:38.000 That joke was the poo-poo. 0.99

00:59:40.000 Oh, yeah, it does look like a religious thing.

00:59:42.000 That joke was so bad, gays eat it, and they put it on their face. 1.00

00:59:47.000 So what I realize I can do now is log on on my laptop.

00:59:54.000 Okay, so here's our first...

00:59:56.000 This is my first try with our new way to do mail.

01:00:02.000 Maybe I should sort of tilt this way.

01:00:04.000 That's more dynamic.

01:00:06.000 This is from Seamless.

01:00:08.000 National favorites to satisfy your...

01:00:10.000 Okay, that's not interesting to the folks at home.

01:00:12.000 That's...

01:00:16.000 Someone wants us to know that you defend a stabbing attack with a Kimura. 0.99

01:00:20.000 Kimura.

01:00:21.000 Okay.

01:00:21.000 What's that?

01:00:24.000 Why did I read that stupid letter?

01:00:27.000 Kimura.

01:00:29.000 Oh my god.

01:00:30.000 That's weird.

01:00:32.000 Okay.

01:00:33.000 Let's see.

01:00:35.000 Kimura is a move.

01:00:37.000 Oh, okay.

01:00:37.000 It's a judo move.

01:00:40.000 Where you make love to the guy.

01:00:42.000 So weird.

01:00:42.000 I had a dream last night.

01:00:43.000 I was given a gi.

01:00:47.000 And I was watching karate.

01:00:50.000 Hello, guys.

01:00:50.000 I am Goody.

01:00:51.000 Today I will show you how to do Kimura from the mount.

01:00:55.000 Alright?

01:00:55.000 The choke.

01:00:56.000 I used to be able to see.

01:00:57.000 Go back.

01:00:58.000 How do you get him?

01:01:00.000 I want to see the beginning.

01:01:04.000 He'll just be under you.

01:01:06.000 Once you get the guy with the knife under you, by the way, he's stabbing the shit out of you right now.

01:01:10.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:01:11.000 Your back is opened up.

01:01:15.000 Okay, so thanks for that help.

01:01:17.000 Pat.

01:01:19.000 Please don't air my name.

01:01:21.000 I work for the government.

01:01:23.000 Graben McGinnis and Brian Ketchup Aloe Vera.

01:01:27.000 There is a serious issue with GMO compound sensors videos when attempting to view them on a tablet.

01:01:32.000 What kind of pussy looks at things on a tablet? 1.00

01:01:36.000 Yeah, that's her problem right there, sir.

01:01:38.000 Men shouldn't even use iPads.

01:01:40.000 Like, Stephen Crowder reads his mail and letters on his iPad, and that's how he gets his show notes.

01:01:45.000 iPads are for women because they're for looking at things. 1.00

01:01:48.000 Men need a keyboard because they're out doing things. 1.00

01:01:51.000 Women are protecting the cave, looking at stuff outside the cave window. 0.99

01:01:54.000 Men are out there.

01:01:56.000 This is the game.

01:01:57.000 Like stabbing.

01:01:58.000 These are your spears, your keys.

01:02:00.000 Pen is mightier than the sword.

01:02:01.000 You know all that?

01:02:03.000 I can't cut through five minutes without installing or closing down the app altogether.

01:02:06.000 Originally I thought, okay, so I'll just send that to my tech guy.

01:02:09.000 That's boring.

01:02:13.000 Any chance you gentlemen start uploading on Odyssey and Rumble?

01:02:17.000 What are those?

01:02:19.000 We've been getting a lot of shit.

01:02:20.000 I've been getting a lot of shit for not fixing the chat issues.

01:02:24.000 Listen to the word, chat.

01:02:27.000 I don't have fucking time.

01:02:28.000 I'm boxing every morning to maintain my sanity.

01:02:31.000 I do all the prep work for this, then shoot the show while running the studio and the company and dealing with invoices and taxes and all the back end getting hacked and payment processors and all that shit.

01:02:42.000 Then the second I'm done, I might be able to squeeze one beer in at the pub on the way to the train.

01:02:49.000 And then I got all my kids' sports all night.

01:02:51.000 Then I'm the new corrections officer.

01:02:52.000 My kids are getting that teenage year where they go, fuck you. 0.92

01:02:56.000 What'd you say?

01:02:57.000 Nothing.

01:02:58.000 So now for bedtime, I have to stand there, watch the teeth getting brushed, make sure pajamas are on.

01:03:05.000 I'm a CO.

01:03:06.000 And that they don't have their phones.

01:03:08.000 And I have to make sure that I want to teach them that punctuality is important.

01:03:11.000 So I have to be there at their exact bedtime.

01:03:15.000 So by the time the oldest one's asleep, it's like 11.

01:03:19.000 My bedtime's 12.

01:03:21.000 I got one hour.

01:03:22.000 You think I'm going to spend it chatting or thinking about chats?

01:03:25.000 That's why I don't get this stupid club room, whatever I signed up for, and it's just black people talking and white people apologizing. 0.96

01:03:35.000 Oh, Clubhouse.

01:03:36.000 No, thank you.

01:03:39.000 Like, who's got time?

01:03:40.000 Maybe if I was in jail, I'd be really happy about Clubhouse.

01:03:46.000 We could make those channels.

01:03:47.000 I could start mirroring the content from BitChute onto this.

01:03:51.000 Yeah, I mean, why?

01:03:54.000 Maybe they're easier.

01:03:55.000 Maybe they have apps.

01:03:56.000 If they have apps.

01:03:56.000 I have a much better idea.

01:03:57.000 We're going to turn our site into a free section.

01:04:01.000 So I'm going to have one column, which will be the latest videos.

01:04:04.000 Then one column will be the clip of the day.

01:04:06.000 I think today's best clip would be to say, Joe Biden and his brain are not friends.

01:04:11.000 Okay?

01:04:12.000 Just that little clip, one minute.

01:04:13.000 Sometimes one minute, sometimes seven minutes.

01:04:15.000 And then I'll have everyone else, Jacob Wall, Jim Goad.

01:04:18.000 Hey, guys, take your best five minutes and we'll make that a clip of the day.

01:04:24.000 And so if you come to the site and you haven't signed up, you'll have like a thousand clips that are the clip of the day.

01:04:32.000 And then on the right column, we'll just have the stupid blog that I don't care about.

01:04:37.000 Anyway, the chat's not a priority of mine.

01:04:39.000 Yeah, but you said you're for free speech and there's some not free speech there.

01:04:43.000 This is like when I got a call from like Proud Boys Ohio before I had left the group and they go, some guy at the bar last night was putting a rubber duck on his, in his ass.

01:04:53.000 And I'm like, what?

01:04:56.000 Do you mean in the anus or in the butt cheeks?

01:04:58.000 Well, you couldn't really tell, but he was like ramming it Up there.

01:05:00.000 The head may have gone in his asshole.

01:05:02.000 He was standing on a bar, and this was a Proud Boys party.

01:05:05.000 And I'm like, A, who gives a shit?

01:05:10.000 B, I don't give a shit.

01:05:12.000 C, say hypothetically, I gave a shit.

01:05:16.000 Do you see me what?

01:05:17.000 Flying down there?

01:05:19.000 Like, the Hell's Angels have enforcement like that, and they didn't let Japan have a chapter because men in Japan hold hands and they thought that'd be a bad look. 0.98

01:05:29.000 I was never running to Hell's Angels.

01:05:31.000 I'm not going to fly to Ohio and go, all right, what's this about a duck up someone's ass? 0.99

01:05:36.000 And then say I did do that.

01:05:40.000 What do they do?

01:05:42.000 Sorry, boss.

01:05:42.000 Won't happen again.

01:05:43.000 Okay, bye.

01:05:45.000 Back on a plane.

01:05:46.000 Then they sneak a duck up their ass.

01:05:48.000 And he goes, how are we supposed to be proud and show the West is the best if we're fucking around like that?

01:05:52.000 I don't know, dude.

01:05:53.000 It's your problem.

01:05:55.000 Anyway, I feel the same way about the chat.

01:05:57.000 And I don't care.

01:06:00.000 But the duck is in there.

01:06:01.000 And then when you land, it's like, it's not there anymore.

01:06:04.000 So I'm good.

01:06:05.000 I'm just going to go back.

01:06:06.000 It sounds like that when I want to say to people, if you could look inside my brain and see how little I care, you might faint.

01:06:13.000 Your hair will go white.

01:06:16.000 I hair-whiteningly don't care.

01:06:20.000 Anyway, speaking of things no one cares about, congratulations to the Japrican on procreation. 1.00

01:06:24.000 I was actually starting to wonder if he was a tranny and couldn't produce swimmers. 1.00

01:06:27.000 Thank you.

01:06:28.000 Ryan's hair blows goats.

01:06:30.000 That doesn't.

01:06:32.000 Gavin, please, as the father figure that Ryan never had, use your boxing skills, knock him out, and then cut his hair.

01:06:39.000 Chop that wig is his actual term.

01:06:41.000 What's your plans with your fucking pubic head?

01:06:46.000 So I wanted to.

01:06:49.000 You don't have to put up letters.

01:06:52.000 I wanted to fully get it ponytailed, just to see what it's like.

01:06:55.000 You know, I want to do a high bun knot, like a samurai.

01:06:58.000 A fagger eye, yeah. 0.68

01:07:00.000 Faggeri's cold?

01:07:01.000 I thought it was samurai.

01:07:03.000 So yeah, like a fagger eye. 0.55

01:07:06.000 And then after that, I think I'll be...

01:07:08.000 And then I'm going to go mull it, and then I'm going to cut it.

01:07:11.000 I mean, all people care about is the fact that you've grown your hair over your face.

01:07:16.000 I think other men should be worrying about other men's hair.

01:07:19.000 No, it's annoying to look at.

01:07:20.000 If I had a shoe on my shoulder, it would annoy you.

01:07:24.000 Just pretend it's like a disease.

01:07:26.000 It's like I...

01:07:28.000 No, you're the disease.

01:07:29.000 Two, the thought of a Friday show nearly brings me to tears.

01:07:32.000 One of the saddest moments in my life is Friday evening when I have no Ju ML to watch.

01:07:35.000 Plus, since you do the Wednesday show with Anthony, I feel like I'm missing on a show.

01:07:38.000 That's valid.

01:07:39.000 Also, I've talked about how busy I am, but I like that.

01:07:44.000 So we are doing shows from now on on Fridays.

01:07:47.000 As you may have noticed, last Friday, you had a show.

01:07:51.000 You guys really love your show.

01:07:52.000 I've been a subscriber since day one.

01:07:53.000 I can't get enough of this network.

01:07:54.000 I own two shirts to rep you guys.

01:07:56.000 Clown World and they get off my lawn with you two holding guns, which my seven-year-old absolutely loves. 1.00

01:08:00.000 If I owned heels, I'd blow you both with my new sunglasses on. 1.00

01:08:04.000 That'd be cool.

01:08:06.000 Getting a BJ with the woman, I guess it would be my wife in my case, wearing sunglasses. 1.00

01:08:13.000 I've never had a sunglasses BJ.

01:08:15.000 Me neither.

01:08:16.000 Let me fuck you with my heels on, yeah. 1.00

01:08:20.000 I want to ride on your ding-dong. 1.00

01:08:22.000 In the clean version, it's introduce me to your ding-dong, which is proline.

01:08:27.000 That's PG.

01:08:28.000 That's not PG.

01:08:30.000 I want to meet your penis. 0.98

01:08:31.000 Yeah.

01:08:32.000 Introduce me.

01:08:33.000 Well, kids should know about kink. 0.98

01:08:36.000 It's time that they know that some gay men piss on each other. 1.00

01:08:40.000 Oh, it's time.

01:08:41.000 So it's what, the year 340 million?

01:08:45.000 Because that's about how long we're waiting before we start doing that.

01:08:49.000 Gavin and Rye sitting here on Canada Day listening to some tunes.

01:08:53.000 I just gave away when we recorded this.

01:08:56.000 I found the perfect anthem haven't heard for years.

01:08:59.000 Great intro song.

01:09:00.000 I shouldn't have read that.

01:09:02.000 It's Rush.

01:09:11.000 Okay.

01:09:13.000 No, Rush.

01:09:14.000 No, that's not...

01:09:15.000 Don't show that link.

01:09:16.000 We'll show that on Canada today.

01:09:18.000 This guy keeps sending this to me.

01:09:20.000 Anytime I hear someone speaking Chinese, Vietnamese, etc., I'm just going to put it up so he'll leave us alone. 1.00

01:09:27.000 It's Steven Segal.

01:09:28.000 It is a funny clip.

01:09:29.000 Maybe we should.

01:09:30.000 No, that's not it.

01:09:32.000 I just told you the subject heading of the email.

01:09:35.000 It's called...

01:09:49.000 I'm glad you're thrilled with that clip, sir.

01:09:51.000 I don't know why.

01:09:52.000 He sent it to me 30 times because he thinks it's so hilarious.

01:09:54.000 It could be a good drop, maybe.

01:09:56.000 Maybe.

01:09:57.000 You know, frankly.

01:09:58.000 Hi, Gavin.

01:09:59.000 My husband watches this show every day.

01:10:01.000 Please tell him to stop watching porn and tell him how bad it is.

01:10:05.000 Yeah, porn is you pleasuring yourself like a voyeur watching two meth heads bang each other.

01:10:14.000 It's almost like a fucking embarrassed methods.

01:10:18.000 What if two meth heads were in the park fucking and you just walked over and went, no, it's worse than that.

01:10:24.000 It's you and like 40 other guys going, oh yeah.

01:10:28.000 Aren't you embarrassed?

01:10:31.000 Will I get horny?

01:10:32.000 Yeah, go get laid. 1.00

01:10:34.000 Well, I can't.

01:10:34.000 My wife's menstruating.

01:10:36.000 Okay, beat off next to her and have her tickle your balls. 1.00

01:10:40.000 Chillo.

01:10:41.000 Chillo, it's the balls.

01:10:48.000 Keeping slaves, it says.

01:10:50.000 A couple in Melbourne was convicted of keeping a slave.

01:10:53.000 And of course, everyone thinks evil white couple. 0.97

01:10:56.000 The only time you have evil white people keeping slaves in this day and age, it's the Irish travelers who would just steal a bum, chain him to a shed, and have him do odd jobs. 1.00

01:11:06.000 Now, this is strange because on the preview he's saying it's a white guy.

01:11:11.000 The opening picture appears to be of a white guy.

01:11:14.000 Yeah, sort of.

01:11:15.000 But I'm not sure it is the same guy, or they just use an intentionally misleading photo.

01:11:19.000 Needless to say, when you scroll down, you see it's clearly Indian.

01:11:24.000 He had a slave.

01:11:27.000 That's funny.

01:11:29.000 Why?

01:11:30.000 I don't know.

01:11:31.000 Keeping a slave.

01:11:32.000 What do you have downstairs?

01:11:33.000 What's the funniest thing you could have downstairs?

01:11:36.000 A tiger?

01:11:36.000 No, funnier.

01:11:37.000 A slave.

01:11:40.000 What?

01:11:42.000 Yeah.

01:11:43.000 She has no teeth. 1.00

01:11:45.000 She has bed sores. 0.51

01:11:47.000 This is true.

01:11:48.000 I read the article.

01:11:50.000 She has no teeth, bed sores. 0.81

01:11:51.000 Oh, and she's diabetic, which has gone untreated.

01:11:54.000 So she's got some brutal insulin deficiency. 1.00

01:11:56.000 She's dying.

01:11:57.000 She makes $3 a day.

01:11:58.000 She's my slave. 1.00

01:12:00.000 Holy shit.

01:12:03.000 Want to see something cool?

01:12:04.000 Come downstairs.

01:12:05.000 Oh, what do you got?

01:12:05.000 A man cave?

01:12:06.000 No, I have my own slave.

01:12:09.000 What?

01:12:12.000 Anyway.

01:12:13.000 Hey, mate.

01:12:14.000 What the hell are you talking?

01:12:17.000 Uh...

01:12:18.000 Oh, this is from Scotland.

01:12:21.000 Here, pal.

01:12:21.000 Was looking at Proud Boy apparel, which cannot be found anywhere online, but to my amazement, you could buy quite easily a full fucking clan outfit.

01:12:30.000 There's also plenty of books, websites, etc.

01:12:33.000 involving the clan, but the Proud Boys totally wiped off the face of the planet.

01:12:37.000 By the way, I'm Faye Parkhead in Glasgow Paradise.

01:12:41.000 And we'll be starting a Proud Boys chapter.

01:12:43.000 Just look at how to organise.

01:12:45.000 Just looking at how to organise at the moment.

01:12:47.000 Scotland is a disgrace.

01:12:49.000 The Glasgow hard men used to be known the world over.

01:12:52.000 My God, you want to see these pussies within these cities these days. 1.00

01:12:56.000 We have Celtic and Rangers fans more divided than ever through mental support by the Celtic fans on Palestinian and Scottish independence, pushed by that little Jimmy cranky, Nicola Sturgeon, who anyone I speak to hates.

01:13:09.000 And I'm a bloody taxi driver throughout the city.

01:13:12.000 Very few people agree with SNP, the Scottish National Party.

01:13:17.000 This seems to be the case the world over, yet these bastards seem to retain power.

01:13:21.000 Why do you think we will see an end of this left-wing pathetic agenda?

01:13:27.000 Good question, man.

01:13:30.000 Can it go anywhere?

01:13:33.000 I honestly think that attacking the kids was the beginning of the end for the radical left.

01:13:40.000 Now, Mr. Magoo isn't helping things, but I follow a few liberals on Twitter and their hearts are not behind.

01:13:49.000 All they talk about is Trump.

01:13:50.000 Oh, good, he's getting indicted.

01:13:52.000 Oh, there's an investigation.

01:13:53.000 They never talk about Biden, very rarely.

01:13:56.000 So the Biden fuckup is clear.

01:13:58.000 The goon squad is showing their true colors as America haters who mock Rangers who go there to save them.

01:14:07.000 And the kids thing brought the parents out.

01:14:09.000 They're at town halls.

01:14:10.000 They're fucking pissed.

01:14:13.000 All right, next one.

01:14:15.000 Gavin's mailbag, Anthony's chair.

01:14:22.000 Now you'll have to zoom out because this is a very, very mean email.

01:14:29.000 And it's a different kind of laugh you do when someone disses you.

01:14:32.000 So this is one of the meanest things anyone's ever said to me.

01:14:36.000 And it's also very funny.

01:14:38.000 So when I realized what I was reading, I made this face.

01:14:41.000 Come back to me.

01:14:42.000 It's sort of like, see what you do there?

01:14:46.000 Let me see the end.

01:14:47.000 When something hurts you, and this letter did hurt me today, but I also laughed, so I went.

01:14:55.000 Yeah, I did see that.

01:14:56.000 Like, you got me?

01:14:57.000 Like, you dick.

01:15:01.000 So it's Anthony and I, and it says, this is honestly the funniest picture I've seen on the internet, his vaguely threatening gesture and stance, the woman meekly clasping her hands together in fear, the difference in size between his massive skull and hers, his caveman tear slouch, making him look like a hunchback versus her standing up straight,

01:15:19.000 the remnants of what appear to be sideburns on the side of his face versus the woman's clear cheeks, the intense expression of his face versus the bewildered expression on hers.

01:15:28.000 Oh, they got you.

01:15:29.000 So good.

01:15:30.000 So fucking mean.

01:15:31.000 Oh, my God.

01:15:35.000 So they're obviously referencing the picture of the tranny and the woman, and they were having a talk, and they just changed the picture of me instead.

01:15:44.000 Dude, that, my allergic reaction to that shirt, wheezing, it took me like I was hacking phlegm for a while.

01:15:51.000 It took me like two hours to recover from that shirt.

01:15:54.000 Yeah, that was crazy.

01:15:55.000 And then afterwards, it like swelled you.

01:15:58.000 So like your whole body was like swelled up.

01:16:01.000 No, that's called being ripped.

01:16:04.000 Oh.

01:16:06.000 You're talking about my huge arms and my amazing pecs?

01:16:11.000 Yeah.

01:16:13.000 Yep.

01:16:14.000 Okay.

01:16:16.000 Aussie chick with sprinkles.

01:16:20.000 I don't think this chick's so sprinkly. 1.00

01:16:23.000 Sprinkle her up.

01:16:28.000 Dusty Bergen.

01:16:30.000 I want to live my dream.

01:16:31.000 Fuck no.

01:16:32.000 Fucked it.

01:16:33.000 Darren?

01:16:34.000 Darren?

01:16:35.000 Go from the top.

01:16:36.000 We're rolling.

01:16:36.000 Keep rolling.

01:16:37.000 Keep fucking rolling.

01:16:38.000 Oh, I can't remember these.

01:16:39.000 Fucking live.

01:16:42.000 Father, no.

01:16:43.000 That's your dream, okay?

01:16:46.000 Yeah, that was pretty fucking good.

01:16:47.000 Yeah, I'm happy with that.

01:16:49.000 If Disney princesses want to leave. 0.99

01:16:51.000 Sorry.

01:16:52.000 She's amusing.

01:16:53.000 Good comic timing.

01:16:54.000 Sprinkles are magic.

01:16:55.000 Louis C.K., John Belushi.

01:17:00.000 In that article by Vanity Fair, which I'm not going to get sucked back into, but he talks about how Gavin told us who he was from day one and we ignored it.

01:17:08.000 Just like Woody Allen and Louis C.K., he was hiding in plain sight.

01:17:13.000 Like, Louis C.K.?

01:17:14.000 First of all, the Woody Allen thing is still up in the air.

01:17:16.000 We're not sure what happened there.

01:17:18.000 But with Louis C.K., yeah, he said, I beat off in front of women with their permission.

01:17:24.000 And then he was canceled and me tooed to death.

01:17:27.000 He's innocent.

01:17:29.000 What he did wasn't wrong.

01:17:32.000 See, the left just like takes all this stuff as fact.

01:17:35.000 Like, if you think that some blackface wasn't racist, you're just insane. 1.00

01:17:39.000 Like, that's, they're incapable of debating.

01:17:43.000 You say something remotely controversial while being fully aware of how it's interpreted.

01:17:49.000 Like when Peter Brimlow said, smoking is good for you.

01:17:51.000 Then he writes a big long article explaining why smoking isn't really bad.

01:17:55.000 And without reading the article, they go, you hear what he said?

01:17:58.000 He thinks cigarettes are good for you.

01:17:59.000 The end.

01:18:02.000 They're incapable.

01:18:04.000 Send this hero some money or a letter.

01:18:07.000 California inmate has now beaten to death two child molesters with a cane while in prison.

01:18:14.000 Thanks, dude.

01:18:15.000 Taking care of business.

01:18:18.000 I was mulling it over when along came molester number one, and he puts his TV right on PBS Kids again, he wrote, according to the newspaper chain.

01:18:25.000 But this time, someone else said something to the effect of, is this guy really going to watch this right in front of us?

01:18:30.000 And I recall saying, I got this.

01:18:32.000 And I picked up the cane and went to work on it.

01:18:35.000 Watson said he then left the housing pod to find a guard and turn himself in.

01:18:39.000 But on the way, he saw a known child trafficker and figured, I just do everybody a favor.

01:18:44.000 In for a penny, in for a pound.

01:18:46.000 Wow, so that's not mentioned in the headline.

01:18:48.000 It happened in the same 10 minutes.

01:18:53.000 Jonathan Watson said he warned prison staff he might become violent and was set off by a convicted child molester.

01:18:58.000 Dude, I heard about this guy that I'm going to meet soon.

01:19:01.000 I'll probably get him for the show.

01:19:03.000 He's a Green Beret, psychotic killer, murdered thousands of people. 1.00

01:19:09.000 I don't know about that.

01:19:10.000 I'm exaggerating.

01:19:11.000 On behalf of America.

01:19:12.000 And now he's like Jason Bourne.

01:19:14.000 He's a killing machine.

01:19:16.000 So guess what he has around his neck?

01:19:19.000 A fucking button.

01:19:21.000 A button.

01:19:22.000 That says, I'm about to go off.

01:19:25.000 And when he pushes it, instantly, police, SWAT, fire department, everyone comes storming to that alert because he doesn't want to go off.

01:19:37.000 So he's like, I'm turning into the Hulk.

01:19:41.000 Come get me.

01:19:42.000 Tase me.

01:19:43.000 Don't want to hear that button go off.

01:19:47.000 I just do not.

01:19:53.000 Hey, Gavin, I'd like to request that you stop doing Coke with Gino whenever you do your shows with Anthony.

01:19:58.000 It makes you say things that you'll later regret.

01:20:01.000 It goes against the message of your book.

01:20:04.000 And worst of all, it's cringe.

01:20:06.000 Thanks.

01:20:07.000 Did you want to...

01:20:08.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:20:09.000 Sorry.

01:20:09.000 So we have contact to send the guy money.

01:20:12.000 Send him more canes.

01:20:14.000 Oh, oh, I'm glad I remembered this.

01:20:18.000 Max and John, when you send them letters, they really appreciate it.

01:20:22.000 But don't just put your address on the return address part of the envelope.

01:20:26.000 Half the time they open it, they read it, they go, fine, and they throw it, and they don't save the envelope.

01:20:31.000 So on your actual letter, include your return address so they can mail you back.

01:20:37.000 Unless you're scared that they're murderers and they're going to hurt you.

01:20:40.000 Yeah, if you're Antifa, probably don't leave your return address.

01:20:44.000 But everyone else, put that down so they can thank you because they really appreciate it.

01:20:49.000 I don't know what this woman's talking about.

01:20:51.000 I think we were ogling chicks maybe yesterday and talking about blowjobs and stuff.

01:20:56.000 And the message of my book is after your party years, it's time to get settled down and marry.

01:21:01.000 I'm allowed to ogle.

01:21:02.000 I'm allowed to look.

01:21:03.000 I just can't touch.

01:21:05.000 You've got to be a little more specific.

01:21:07.000 And I haven't done Coke in a million years.

01:21:10.000 Certainly, and Gino's too cheap to share Coke if he had it.

01:21:13.000 Does he do Coke?

01:21:14.000 I don't think he does, right?

01:21:16.000 I've never seen him do Coke.

01:21:18.000 I don't think he's ever been a Coke guy.

01:21:19.000 Nah, Coke isn't that common in Midtown.

01:21:22.000 People are too broke.

01:21:23.000 Outside of the restaurant industry, there's, what's his name?

01:21:27.000 Bill Schultz.

01:21:29.000 That's about it.

01:21:30.000 Gavin and Ryan, this is weird, dude.

01:21:33.000 This is from a woman.

01:21:34.000 I won't say her name.

01:21:36.000 But it's like a thousand words.

01:21:37.000 And I looked up her previous letters.

01:21:39.000 She's been sending me updates on her relationship that I haven't been seeing that are hundreds and hundreds of words.

01:21:45.000 Hi, Gavin and Ryan.

01:21:46.000 Sadly, my relationship has ended.

01:21:48.000 Gavin, six years in total.

01:21:50.000 I left six months in 2019 and came back 2020 locked down in Montreal.

01:21:54.000 I truly love him and wanted to love on from the turbulent beginning.

01:21:59.000 He knows I have BPD.

01:22:01.000 Bipolar disorder.

01:22:03.000 I know he's a cheater from his history, and it was such an argumentative mess at times.

01:22:07.000 But when we got along, it was heaven.

01:22:09.000 But as I reflect, it was me who calmed down and giving in to him.

01:22:13.000 The relationship ended again seven months pregnant due to a petty issue.

01:22:17.000 And we are like, what the fuck?

01:22:19.000 What info?

01:22:21.000 What's going on?

01:22:22.000 I don't know this person.

01:22:25.000 It's pictures of the baby.

01:22:27.000 I mean, I guess people watch the show feel like they know me.

01:22:30.000 Yeah.

01:22:30.000 They establish like a friendship, but you just don't know it.

01:22:35.000 We don't talk, and living in the house is just sucks.

01:22:38.000 I'm jumping to the end of maybe a 2,000-word email.

01:22:40.000 It's miserable.

01:22:41.000 This is why I'm leaving.

01:22:42.000 He put all the blame on me and took no accountability.

01:22:44.000 None.

01:22:44.000 I know my heirs, but I feel he will suffocate me if I own up.

01:22:49.000 He's controlling and threatening.

01:22:50.000 For example, now I know why your dad left your mom, he says.

01:22:54.000 Endless.

01:22:54.000 I'm moving on.

01:22:55.000 I'm starting.

01:22:56.000 I don't care.

01:22:58.000 Wish you nothing but the best.

01:23:00.000 Hey guys, Bongino has launched a new payment processor called Align.

01:23:04.000 That's interesting.

01:23:07.000 Oh, here's the last one.

01:23:08.000 I'm glad we got to this one.

01:23:09.000 Ryan got his haircut from Franklin Delano Bluth, the puppet from Arrested Development.

01:23:14.000 Hopefully he will see this and have second thoughts about how he appears to other people.

01:23:19.000 You're saying that that looks like me.

01:23:22.000 It does.

01:23:24.000 That's the exact same hairdo.

01:23:30.000 I don't know.

01:23:31.000 No facial hair, but that's about the only difference.

01:23:34.000 He even dresses like you.

01:23:36.000 No, that's different, for sure.

01:23:39.000 Dude, you're so bad at design and decor.

01:23:44.000 Why do you have a baby thing on a sign? 0.98

01:23:47.000 That should just bother you.

01:23:49.000 You don't have any kind of aesthetic.

01:23:52.000 This is curly hair.

01:23:53.000 Do you have COVID?

01:23:54.000 Because you clearly have no taste.

01:23:55.000 And mine is wavy.

01:23:57.000 So it's different.

01:23:59.000 Alright, actually.

01:24:00.000 Let's go to the final video.

01:24:02.000 Okay.

01:24:05.000 That has hurt me today.

01:24:25.000 I just thought this was interesting because people talk about cops and how, you know.

01:24:28.000 Oh, that would be a good clip of The day, if you can dig it up, where we're talking about how, hey, cops, just shoot the gun out of their hands, yeah, right?

01:24:36.000 Not today, Buster, in with bullet holes in the wall behind them.

01:24:40.000 Be like this, like in the old Westerns, shoot their hat off, really mean business.

01:24:46.000 And they always say, shoot him in the leg or fire a warning shot.

01:24:49.000 Here's a woman who gets a body shot. 1.00

01:24:51.000 Now, you gotta be here.

01:24:54.000 But they shot her, like, in the abdomen. 0.96

01:24:56.000 I don't think she gives a shit.

01:25:02.000 It's after this.

01:25:04.000 My center chest.

01:25:06.000 Would it be an HK just in case?

01:25:08.000 They get out of the car.

01:25:09.000 We've got audio from here.

01:25:11.000 Let's hear it.

01:25:12.000 What are you doing to shoot?

01:25:13.000 What do you mean?

01:25:19.000 Take your hand back first.

01:25:20.000 Nothing additional to the making of 12.

01:25:22.000 Shouldn't he be doing a Kimura?

01:25:24.000 Yeah.

01:25:25.000 Absolutely.

01:25:26.000 Well, that's for a knife.

01:25:28.000 She's got a knife, dumbass. 1.00

01:25:30.000 Use your Kimura.

01:25:31.000 Drop the knife.

01:25:32.000 Don't you watch judo videos?

01:25:34.000 EDP's got a weapon.

01:25:35.000 We need additional.

01:25:38.000 This is a suicide by cop at this point, right?

01:25:41.000 Hey, drop it! 1.00

01:25:42.000 Get the f ⁇ up. 0.97

01:25:43.000 Is there a bullet, Kimura?

01:25:45.000 What?

01:25:45.000 Is there a bullet, Kimura?

01:25:47.000 Maybe just a different angle.

01:25:52.000 Drop the knife! 0.99

01:25:53.000 Get the f ⁇ up! 0.99

01:25:54.000 Drop the knife! 0.99

01:25:59.000 Look at her! 1.00

01:26:00.000 Shot fired!

01:26:02.000 She's been shot!

01:26:08.000 Drop the fire! 0.99

01:26:10.000 I mean, there's obviously adrenaline involved and stuff, but that's like you hear about people they didn't know they were stabbed.

01:26:16.000 But not knowing you've been shot is pretty rare.

01:26:20.000 Although we do know of one friend of the show, we didn't know he's shot in the leg.

01:26:29.000 She's still going.

01:26:31.000 Aren't you getting faint from blood loss?

01:26:44.000 Still going.

01:26:46.000 So stop telling cops that they didn't have to shoot them.

01:26:51.000 I'm sick of that argument.

01:26:53.000 Can you imagine if you were in that job, how scared you'd be?

01:26:59.000 You could be killed at any moment, like the thing we showed the other day where they just opened the door.

01:27:03.000 Oh, you never showed that, right?

01:27:05.000 What's that?

01:27:06.000 Remember the guy?

01:27:08.000 You couldn't show that link yesterday?

01:27:11.000 Because you weren't following him?

01:27:13.000 That was last week.

01:27:15.000 Yes, that was last week.

01:27:16.000 Jesus, it feels like yesterday, right?

01:27:18.000 I mean...

01:27:19.000 What are you guys doing watching this show?

01:27:20.000 Aren't you doing fireworks?

01:27:22.000 My favorite part of the fireworks is not even watching them.

01:27:25.000 It's you get another buddy with those long cigarette lighter things, you know, for starting like stoves and whatever.

01:27:32.000 You have it all set up.

01:27:33.000 And then, as a war movie vet, you're in Nam.

01:27:37.000 And you're just like, making sure they're all lit up.

01:27:42.000 Half the time, I don't even get to see them.

01:27:43.000 I'm just making sure that it's non-stop.

01:27:46.000 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that was a good one.

01:27:51.000 Oh, that's my favorite one.

01:27:52.000 Oh, I like these.

01:27:53.000 Just constantly going around.

01:27:55.000 Maybe at the very end, you can sit and watch the last one.

01:27:59.000 But I like those big $100 ones.

01:28:01.000 You know, it'll be like a Navy ship, and all the tubes are the various cannons.

01:28:06.000 Cannon.

01:28:07.000 I also like those balls you light and you drop down the thing and then they shoot up.

01:28:12.000 Those are cool, too.

01:28:14.000 If you spend $800, it's indistinguishable from when a city, not New York City, but like a town does theirs.

01:28:25.000 Like the South Bronx.

01:28:27.000 Which one was it?

01:28:28.000 It was in the final video?

01:28:29.000 No?

01:28:30.000 Okay.

01:28:30.000 That's why I was looking.

01:28:31.000 That's okay.

01:28:32.000 I didn't find it.

01:28:33.000 It was in a War on Cops segment.

01:28:37.000 Make me a sandwich, bitch. 1.00

01:28:40.000 Graffiti says hate speech, includes the truth. 0.76

01:28:42.000 That's all in feminism. 1.00

01:28:43.000 This was its own category.

01:28:44.000 I think it was at the bottom of racism.

01:28:46.000 Yeah.

01:28:46.000 At the bottom of racism, there was a bunch of cop vids.

01:28:50.000 Okay, cops getting shot.

01:28:52.000 Yeah.

01:28:57.000 Oh, wow.

01:28:58.000 They didn't accept my thing.

01:29:00.000 Still didn't like you?

01:29:01.000 A week later.

01:29:02.000 What the heck?

01:29:04.000 Huh.

01:29:05.000 Lil Weezy ain't down with you. 1.00

01:29:07.000 They lazy.

01:29:10.000 No, maybe he don't like Japanese.

01:29:12.000 I hope that's not the case.

01:29:13.000 What do people think when they see you?

01:29:15.000 Do they go, I don't like Puerto Ricans or I don't like Nips? 1.00

01:29:17.000 Probably both.

01:29:18.000 They'd be like, something about the combination.

01:29:19.000 They'd be like, I like both, but I don't like him.

01:29:23.000 Also in that article, I got in trouble for disparaging Puerto Ricans.

01:29:28.000 I don't, like, Canadians don't really get it.

01:29:30.000 It's kind of hard to explain, but making fun of Puerto Ricans is like not racist.

01:29:37.000 It's like making fun of Irish people.

01:29:38.000 Yeah, yeah, it's like that.

01:29:40.000 It's like everyone does, especially Puerto Ricans. 1.00

01:29:42.000 Just a New York staple people.

01:29:44.000 So it's like...

01:29:45.000 Yeah, in New York, you make fun of Puerto Ricans to Puerto Ricans, and they laugh and have a comeback. 1.00

01:29:52.000 That's not true of blacks or Asians. 1.00

01:29:56.000 You'd have to be pretty darn tight with the black community to be able to make a black joke. 1.00

01:29:59.000 But Puerto Rican jokes, it's just, it's Irish. 1.00

01:30:04.000 Why is that?

01:30:05.000 I don't know.

01:30:06.000 They're so ingrained in New York culture that it's almost like making a Chinese joke in China.

01:30:12.000 There's too many of them to be offended.

01:30:13.000 Well, I think the thing about not being able to take a joke, like, you know, I've heard, you know, people ribbing each other, like, there's like a black guy and like this like nerdy guy at my gym.

01:30:23.000 And the black guy, it's like one day they're still joking around. 1.00

01:30:27.000 Like, he can get away with saying this joke to him, but one day he's going to hurt that black guy's feelings.

01:30:31.000 And it's going to be like, you could tell it's like, he's like, oh, that's, okay, I live in the hood, huh?

01:30:36.000 Okay.

01:30:37.000 And it's like, he's not taking that like a joke.

01:30:39.000 He's burying this.

01:30:40.000 You know, I'm glad you brought that up because the boxing gym is one of the few places, and maybe your gay gym where you do your little weights, is one of the few places where the racial jokes are just like it was in the 80s.

01:30:51.000 Oh, really?

01:30:52.000 Yeah.

01:30:52.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:30:53.000 You better watch yourself, Larry.

01:30:54.000 You're the only black guy here right now.

01:30:57.000 And then, uh-oh, it's getting pretty black in here.

01:31:00.000 I just think that one day they might cross a line and it's not jokes anymore.

01:31:06.000 We'll see.

01:31:06.000 I've seen it happen and it's like kind of so.

01:31:09.000 That's today's show.

01:31:10.000 We'll be back normal tomorrow.

01:31:13.000 I'll wear a suit, I promise.

01:31:15.000 But I hope you guys have fun, and I hope you feel some pride in this country.

01:31:19.000 Whether you're an immigrant like me or whether you were born here, it's an incredible country.

01:31:25.000 Yes, we're going through some rocky times right now with Mr. Magoo and COVID and government overreach.

01:31:31.000 But we've weathered storms worse than this before from Vietnam, the Great Depression, the oil shortage of the 80s, 9-11.

01:31:39.000 We've had some rocky times.

01:31:40.000 So we will get through this together.

01:31:42.000 But that's not really what today is about.

01:31:43.000 Today is about 1776, when a group of ragtag intellectuals said, let's arm the people and take back this country for ourselves. 0.69

01:31:54.000 So while the fireworks go off, I hope that you sort of take a moment and thank them for their incredibly prescient, foreboding, not foreboding, document here that managed to find a country and make it unlike any other country in the world.

01:32:13.000 It's an incredible place.

01:32:15.000 Enjoy it.

01:32:16.000 And other countries watching this show, I don't know, take a moment of silence.

01:32:21.000 Give a tip of the hat.

01:32:22.000 Have a beer on us.

01:32:25.000 This fantastic experiment that is the United States of America.

01:32:30.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - July 05, 2021

S04E06 -HAPPY JULY FOURTH!

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Summary

Transcript