Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S04E11 - ADVANCED PHYSICS FOR RETARDS

00:00:13.000 Oh, live from New York.

00:00:16.000 It's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness.

00:00:56.000 Don't remix, you know? 0.99

00:01:16.000 Imagine how gay, not homo, but lame you'd feel in a club dancing to that. 1.00

00:01:23.000 Dude, if that's your trick, though, and that song comes on, but oh, that's sad, actually. 0.99

00:01:28.000 Nobody's paying attention.

00:01:29.000 You're like, hey guys, guys, guys, guys, you're on the dance floor like this. 1.00

00:01:33.000 And then nobody wants to fuck you at all. 0.99

00:01:35.000 Everyone's talking over there. 0.99

00:01:38.000 And you're like, hello, guys.

00:01:41.000 I'm doing my special face that I do.

00:01:43.000 They must be scared. 0.99

00:01:45.000 Third world, the third world sucks. 0.99

00:01:48.000 Like, you look at his videos and you think, you're probably the coolest guy in India, and I feel deep embarrassment for you. 0.98

00:01:55.000 I feel dejeep embarrassment for you.

00:01:57.000 Cringe is a compliment.

00:01:59.000 He hopes to make it to cringe.

00:02:01.000 Cringe is like his goal.

00:02:03.000 He's sub-cringe.

00:02:05.000 When you see that, and you just sort of go, haw.

00:02:11.000 I was going to do this song that a reader sent in.

00:02:13.000 I keep saying reader.

00:02:14.000 Is that from Vice Days?

00:02:16.000 A subscriber.

00:02:16.000 We've got to come up with a better name, viewer.

00:02:18.000 Yeah.

00:02:18.000 A viewer sent in.

00:02:19.000 Subscriber, viewer.

00:02:20.000 I've seen this before, but I almost chose it as a song.

00:02:23.000 It's a great little jam, Hobo Johnson.

00:02:26.000 He's a great poet, which is hard to say because poetry is gay, but this ends up being lyrics to a song. 0.98

00:02:33.000 And he shit on some girl who was going to have a book because he was stoned. 0.99

00:02:37.000 Anyway, you can hear it. 0.98

00:02:40.000 I really hope that you find happiness in the book you write's magnificent.

00:02:45.000 And I won't help but stare at every word that would burn holes in many mattresses.

00:02:50.000 After I place it down, read and fold that lovely little book titled I told you.

00:02:55.000 So yeah, you're throw.

00:02:57.000 Well, you mad at me.

00:03:02.000 You're thorough. 0.99

00:03:03.000 And that sucks. 0.98

00:03:04.000 I don't think I'm going to change. 0.99

00:03:05.000 I think I'll get way worse.

00:03:07.000 I best stay the same. 0.99

00:03:09.000 So, so you'll be fucking world renowned. 0.99

00:03:12.000 Well, I'm getting drunk at my house. 1.00

00:03:14.000 Think about the dumb words I said when I was a bitch. 1.00

00:03:17.000 He's no Valde Victorian. 1.00

00:03:19.000 He's not as good as that black girl who got up there and said, there's no justice, just does. 1.00

00:03:24.000 What the fuck was she saying? 1.00

00:03:25.000 Amanda Gorman? 1.00

00:03:27.000 The black chick. 0.99

00:03:28.000 Amanda Gorman, yeah. 0.81

00:03:29.000 Is that the inauguration?

00:03:31.000 I hate wordplay, too.

00:03:33.000 You know what I mean?

00:03:34.000 The libraries where they keep the lies.

00:03:36.000 That was what her whole thing was.

00:03:37.000 This is like a guy who's great at writing lyrics.

00:03:40.000 He's apologizing to her because he was stoned. 0.99

00:03:42.000 He said her book's going to suck. 0.99

00:03:44.000 And we all know her book is going to suck. 0.99

00:03:46.000 But that's not the point. 0.96

00:03:48.000 You want to encourage people.

00:03:49.000 Go ahead.

00:03:50.000 Make me look.

00:03:55.000 And she stopped.

00:03:57.000 And she cried that night.

00:04:01.000 And she's right.

00:04:02.000 She's going to write her book. 1.00

00:04:05.000 It's going to make me look like a fool. 0.99

00:04:11.000 And I know that she'll find happiness. 0.84

00:04:13.000 And her book will be magnificent.

00:04:16.000 And I won't help but stare at every word.

00:04:18.000 It would bring holes in many mattresses. 1.00

00:04:20.000 This kind of shit renews my faith in young men. 0.99

00:04:22.000 I just, I want them to be romantic. 1.00

00:04:23.000 That's why I hate video games so much.

00:04:26.000 Because I'm worried you're not out there courting ladies.

00:04:30.000 Guys always say, like, how do you pick up a chick? 0.92

00:04:32.000 Just dive headlong into it. 1.00

00:04:34.000 Do something gay. 1.00

00:04:35.000 Like, go to a house with flowers. 1.00

00:04:42.000 Be a cornball.

00:04:43.000 Say, I know this is super lame and it comes from the 1920s, but I just can't stop thinking about you here.

00:04:52.000 You know?

00:04:54.000 You know how I got a girl once?

00:04:56.000 We were in class in college and our elbows were touching.

00:05:01.000 And I told her that that might have meant nothing to you, but I just milked everything I could out of that one little piece of contact.

00:05:07.000 I left my brain and I went inside my body and I crawled down to that little elbow part where we were both touching and I put 100% of me in that little dime-sized dot.

00:05:19.000 And I got us to be together for that one moment. 1.00

00:05:23.000 Fucked her the next night. 0.99

00:05:24.000 Yeah, that worked. 1.00

00:05:26.000 Did you take that from somewhere?

00:05:28.000 No, I'm a genius.

00:05:29.000 That's amazing.

00:05:30.000 It was from the heart.

00:05:32.000 That's why it was good.

00:05:33.000 I was looking up that band yesterday, too, The Week Modern Baseball, because that guy was so romantic.

00:05:40.000 And all those songs are about, like, I can't believe I'm walking away.

00:05:43.000 Something so great we had one day and still we want to get back together and do.

00:05:50.000 I mean, I'm old, so I get that it's juvenile, but I still love to see, I don't know, young people trying.

00:05:57.000 That's all we want.

00:05:58.000 That's all I ask.

00:05:59.000 Like I worked so hard to, you know, live every moment.

00:06:04.000 And then I pass the torch to the next generation and they go, no, thanks, and let it fall on the floor.

00:06:08.000 Then it starts a brush fire because there's so much dead grass.

00:06:11.000 Stop it.

00:06:12.000 Grab the torch, run with it.

00:06:15.000 What's this one?

00:06:18.000 Hope that's not meant to look tough.

00:06:24.000 A little bit of Daniel Johnson in there, huh?

00:06:27.000 I think about you every day.

00:06:33.000 I think that's his actual girlfriend, too, which is cool.

00:06:36.000 You know, I looked them up on Wikipedia.

00:06:38.000 Look up Modern Baseball Band on Wikipedia.

00:06:41.000 And I got kind of scared because I saw the word they.

00:06:44.000 And I think it's just a typo. 0.99

00:06:47.000 But it's possible he's changed his fucking pronouns. 0.99

00:06:53.000 Doesn't that break your heart in two when you see a romantic heterosexual? 1.00

00:06:56.000 Okay, go down.

00:06:58.000 Way down, way down.

00:07:01.000 Musical style.

00:07:03.000 Wait a minute.

00:07:03.000 Is that it?

00:07:04.000 No, go up again, I guess.

00:07:10.000 Oh, yeah.

00:07:11.000 In January 2017, Brendan Lucens, that's the guy we just saw, the singer, released a statement saying they would not be joining the band.

00:07:21.000 Doesn't that look like they-them pronouns? 0.94

00:07:25.000 Are the kids today so fucked up and PC that normal straight men just use they-them? 0.94

00:07:32.000 It's very confusing, young people, when you change pronouns that they, them would not be joining the band on the European tour. 0.99

00:07:40.000 Instead, they want to stay at home and focus on their mental and physical well-being.

00:07:45.000 Is that a typo or does he use gay pronouns? 0.73

00:07:48.000 Even though he's not gay. 0.99

00:07:49.000 Oh, look at this.

00:07:51.000 Yeah.

00:07:51.000 Called it.

00:07:52.000 Oh, that's where I stole it from.

00:07:54.000 Thanks for blowing up my spot.

00:07:56.000 Well, I could have just not blown the spot.

00:08:02.000 You worry about guys like that when they're so romantic.

00:08:04.000 They're usually troubled if they're able to make such great songs that they have breakdowns.

00:08:09.000 They snap. 0.96

00:08:11.000 By the way, speaking of snapping, I want to replay the intro to yesterday's show because it was one of the worst fuck-ups that Ryan's ever done. 0.99

00:08:18.000 It's so terrible. 0.85

00:08:19.000 Getting a motorcycle into the studio is not easy.

00:08:22.000 And you've got big shoes to fill.

00:08:24.000 D-Day, Meatloaf, in Rocky Horror.

00:08:27.000 So you want it to be a grand entrance, despite the khakis and sockless Chuck Taylors.

00:08:34.000 But with all that pressure, Ryan dropped the ball through the floor.

00:08:38.000 He dropped a bowling ball through a glass floor.

00:08:42.000 It's so bad.

00:08:45.000 Okay, that starts out good.

00:08:53.000 There's they singing a great song.

00:08:56.000 Okay, so camera three.

00:09:06.000 The uh oops, almost crashed there.

00:09:09.000 So that's good.

00:09:10.000 End of camera three starting now.

00:09:14.000 What?

00:09:15.000 Why are we back on camera three?

00:09:16.000 I didn't want to show your license plate.

00:09:19.000 I told you that it's fine to show the license plate.

00:09:21.000 I would have covered it up if it was a problem.

00:09:23.000 And that's, this should have been camera two.

00:09:28.000 That was camera one.

00:09:32.000 We already discussed the license plate.

00:09:34.000 I didn't hear license plate stuff.

00:09:36.000 Yes.

00:09:37.000 Was that with Maddie?

00:09:38.000 Right here.

00:09:40.000 Were you over in the bar?

00:09:41.000 No, it was right here.

00:09:44.000 Where was I?

00:09:45.000 I don't know. 0.93

00:09:46.000 Outside jerking off? 0.96

00:09:49.000 Brian. 1.00

00:09:50.000 Getting someone's information from their license plate is fucking impossible. 0.99

00:09:54.000 You need to find a corrupt cop who's willing to risk his entire pension, and even then you got to pay him like $200 to $500. 0.98

00:10:03.000 It's really, really hard.

00:10:05.000 Our Thursday regular is here, Mr. No, it's not.

00:10:07.000 Just go online.

00:10:08.000 There's all kinds of places where you pay.

00:10:10.000 Really?

00:10:10.000 There are?

00:10:11.000 Thanks, Millennials.

00:10:12.000 You're experts on everything.

00:10:14.000 Give it a whirl and get back to me.

00:10:16.000 Sign up and see what it tells you. 1.00

00:10:20.000 Because it doesn't tell you shit. 0.99

00:10:22.000 Look at how my shirt matches the background perfectly. 0.98

00:10:25.000 That's kind of unusual. 0.88

00:10:30.000 So what do you think of that pathetic intro where you ruined everything? 0.95

00:10:34.000 It could have been better. 0.97

00:10:34.000 We could have gone for a take two. 0.97

00:10:36.000 And you were supposed to play the video of the fucking... 0.97

00:10:39.000 Like, I asked you to come in early, and then 10 minutes before, you're checking Maddie's mic, which was also a catastrophe. 0.98

00:10:45.000 No one could hear him on the Skype calls.

00:10:47.000 One guy said that.

00:10:48.000 The other guy was talking to Maddie.

00:10:52.000 So one guy said that, Ergo, what?

00:10:54.000 It's just an opinion and it's wrong?

00:10:58.000 Maybe.

00:10:59.000 What?

00:11:00.000 So the other people could hear it perfectly, but that one guy couldn't hear it.

00:11:05.000 I don't know.

00:11:06.000 But the numbers are, we had about 12 calls to one call complaining about Maddie.

00:11:11.000 Yeah.

00:11:12.000 And then people talking directly to him and talking back to him.

00:11:14.000 No, this isn't like a fruit compote where most people enjoyed the dessert, but one person didn't like it. 0.71

00:11:19.000 The other people suffered through the shitty audio. 0.90

00:11:21.000 And we know that the audio is shitty because one person pointed it out. 0.88

00:11:25.000 That's not an opinion thing.

00:11:26.000 Audio either works or it doesn't.

00:11:30.000 The Skype thing.

00:11:31.000 How does your brain work?

00:11:32.000 I realized why the...

00:11:35.000 Well, I read the comments sometimes, and then you'll always get one guy saying something, and then somebody's like, what are you talking about?

00:11:41.000 There's just, there's always, there's never definitely, that's why it can't really be trusted as a...

00:11:46.000 No, no, no.

00:11:46.000 Something like AC.

00:11:47.000 I can hear the AC.

00:11:48.000 I can't.

00:11:49.000 That's one thing that's open to something.

00:11:50.000 But when someone says they can barely hear Maddie, they can barely hear Mattie.

00:11:53.000 Anyway, that's enough talk of that. 1.00

00:11:54.000 But your problem is you don't learn because you block information from your tiny fucking brain. 1.00

00:12:02.000 So you hear something and you go, well, just one person said that. 1.00

00:12:05.000 And you push out the information.

00:12:07.000 Well, no, I did check on what was going on.

00:12:09.000 I checked out all my levels here.

00:12:11.000 He was actually clipping.

00:12:12.000 And so that's the information.

00:12:14.000 That's your board, though.

00:12:15.000 The people at home could not hear Maddie.

00:12:17.000 It's just a simple lav into the computer.

00:12:21.000 And so there's no messing around with the levels.

00:12:24.000 It's just not fixable.

00:12:27.000 No, no, no.

00:12:27.000 But then afterwards, when he couldn't hear us at all, the callers couldn't hear us at all.

00:12:31.000 We had to just restart Skype, and then that worked.

00:12:33.000 But he was hearing you, so therefore he should have been hearing Maddie.

00:12:36.000 And I don't know why.

00:12:37.000 Was he talking about right before that call or while he was on the line when he was hearing Maddie?

00:12:42.000 See, now you're slightly curious because I'm raking you over the coals.

00:12:45.000 Now you're looking into it, but formerly you just blocked it out.

00:12:48.000 I want to know what he is. 0.98

00:12:48.000 And the reason I'm bringing that up on the show is because this is how people stay dumb. 0.98

00:12:53.000 I told you that story 100 times about Derek Beckos when we were trying to figure out how Bob Geldof is rich, and he said it's because he's a sur and the queen gives all the surs a certain stipend, which didn't make sense.

00:13:02.000 And then we looked it up and discovered that Bob Geldof got in on the ground floor of reality TV and big brother type shows, like even the real world.

00:13:11.000 He somehow, I don't know, copyrighted that or worked with media companies, whatever.

00:13:15.000 And then when Derek found that out, instead of going, oh, that's why he's rich, he goes, yeah, no, still because he's a sir.

00:13:22.000 So they have like a force field where information can't get in. 0.99

00:13:25.000 That's how you stay dumb. 0.97

00:13:27.000 That's how you never improve. 0.99

00:13:30.000 You have to take in information, take in criticism, and write down on like a chalkboard.

00:13:34.000 We have a major problem here.

00:13:36.000 People can't hear Maddie on the Thursday night shows.

00:13:38.000 That's your to-do list now when there's like a lull in work.

00:13:44.000 You understand?

00:13:45.000 Right.

00:13:46.000 You're just saying right to make me move on.

00:13:50.000 I want to try something kind of new today.

00:13:53.000 I don't really like the green screen anymore.

00:13:55.000 I figure if I have four TVs, we could do a green screen from here, but let's try it out first.

00:14:00.000 Now, a viewer sent in the worst Dharman video ever made. 0.89

00:14:06.000 It's literally retarded. 1.00

00:14:08.000 And let's try doing a green screen here with Camera 2. 0.61

00:14:14.000 So I sent it to you separately.

00:14:15.000 It's not in the notes.

00:14:16.000 And it involves, you know what it involves? 0.99

00:14:19.000 There's a lot of, like the dummies and the assholes are usually white males on this show. 1.00

00:14:24.000 And it's like racist propaganda. 1.00

00:14:27.000 It makes you hate white males. 1.00

00:14:30.000 If you did this with any other group, if every video he had was an Asian female being a cunt, you'd go, oh, the anti-Asian woman fund is obviously donating to this guy so he can make Asian women look bad. 1.00

00:14:46.000 But that's what I think is going on with these white males. 0.99

00:14:50.000 This would be better on a green screen already.

00:14:52.000 It's too dark.

00:14:57.000 Let's just maybe do it with telecaster.

00:14:59.000 I mean, TriCaster.

00:15:00.000 Anyway, press play.

00:15:01.000 Let's hear it.

00:15:03.000 Go back to the green.

00:15:13.000 Okay, stop. 0.99

00:15:17.000 Remember that this guy is so retarded that he can't even in his head go 13B. 1.00

00:15:22.000 He has to out loud say 14, 14A, 14B. 0.89

00:15:26.000 That's sort of like us if there was this complex Rubrik's cube code for everything, every chair, every aisle seat, row, and you'd go like, okay, blue on top, green on the side.

00:15:38.000 Okay, no, two greens and a yellow and a blue on the, okay.

00:15:41.000 It's that complicated to this person.

00:15:43.000 So we're talking about an IQ of 80.

00:15:46.000 Like Ryan levels, right?

00:15:48.000 That's who we're with now.

00:15:49.000 I want you to remember that because it comes up later.

00:15:51.000 Secondly, if you see someone with Down syndrome getting on your flight and you go, oh, God, that implies this has happened before.

00:16:00.000 Now, liberals have aborted these people literally to death. 0.96

00:16:04.000 So how did you get the chance to be jaded by retards? 1.00

00:16:09.000 They become unicorns.

00:16:11.000 You see like one a month if you're a world traveler who's out looking at people all day. 0.96

00:16:16.000 I don't know when I last saw a retard. 1.00

00:16:19.000 And I don't like calling them retards. 1.00

00:16:20.000 I don't know when I last saw someone with Down syndrome.

00:16:24.000 Can you think of when you last saw one?

00:16:26.000 Besides me looking at one right now?

00:16:28.000 Yes.

00:16:29.000 When?

00:16:31.000 A couple weeks ago.

00:16:32.000 And then I also saw a midget last week. 1.00

00:16:35.000 Who's more common, midgets or retards? 1.00

00:16:37.000 Ooh, retards. 1.00

00:16:40.000 In my experience. 0.97

00:16:42.000 They're neck and neck.

00:16:43.000 Retards used to smoke them. 1.00

00:16:46.000 Retards used to be... 1.00

00:16:47.000 I fucking hung out with retards. 1.00

00:16:49.000 I was drowning in retards as a kid. 1.00

00:16:52.000 And thalidomide people.

00:16:56.000 We'd go camping.

00:16:57.000 There'd always be one dad who was just like lobster arms.

00:17:00.000 And you didn't even notice. 0.99

00:17:01.000 You're just like, oh, his arms are fucked up. 0.98

00:17:04.000 Yeah, I remember those guys. 0.99

00:17:04.000 It'd be like someone with a birthmark here. 0.99

00:17:06.000 You just go, oh, that's a thing.

00:17:07.000 And then you'd forget about it. 1.00

00:17:09.000 Now, if you saw someone like that, you'd go, what the fuck? 1.00

00:17:11.000 Why aren't you at the circus? 1.00

00:17:13.000 Should I be paying three bucks to look at you?

00:17:15.000 Anyway, so this, I'm not even done.

00:17:18.000 So this guy's jaded with the person with Down syndrome.

00:17:20.000 That doesn't make sense because you don't see them.

00:17:22.000 But also, say you did hate all people with Down syndrome. 1.00

00:17:25.000 You're a fucking freak, weirdo asshole that represents one in a fucking million. 1.00

00:17:33.000 But like vocalizing it and going, oh, God. 1.00

00:17:38.000 Maybe a black woman would do that. 1.00

00:17:40.000 Certainly not a white male. 0.94

00:17:41.000 He doesn't want to lose his job, his everything, his family.

00:17:44.000 His wife would divorce him because this would go viral.

00:17:47.000 This would be filmed.

00:17:53.000 Switch to TriCaster.

00:17:54.000 It's too dark.

00:17:55.000 Oh, excuse me.

00:17:56.000 Excuse me.

00:17:56.000 You're rubbing all up against me.

00:17:58.000 Oh, wait, mate, stop. 0.92

00:18:00.000 That's black talk. 0.98

00:18:02.000 All up on my shirt.

00:18:03.000 You're rubbing up all against, all up against me? 0.86

00:18:06.000 That's not how old white guys with white hair talk. 0.98

00:18:09.000 Did you just get your hair and your nails did, too?

00:18:11.000 Maybe he's just trying to speak his language. 0.88

00:18:12.000 Maybe he doesn't think he's retarded. 1.00

00:18:14.000 He just thinks he's black. 0.99

00:18:16.000 Should I talk to the hand because you ain't got no man? 0.95

00:18:19.000 Excuse me, excuse me.

00:18:20.000 You're rubbing all up against me. 0.99

00:18:22.000 Like gay Nick DiPaulo? 0.99

00:18:26.000 Nick DiPaulo is taking testosterone, but he got the needles wrong and he's been injecting estrogen. 0.96

00:18:32.000 Hillary Clinton ain't that bad, all right? 1.00

00:18:34.000 I mean, Trump, I mean, he had a lot of flaws.

00:18:38.000 Excuse me, excuse me, you're rubbing all up against me. 0.91

00:18:41.000 Oh, I am so sorry. 0.99

00:18:42.000 An actor's gay. 0.86

00:18:43.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:18:44.000 Not the retard. 1.00

00:18:44.000 The retard is thinking, look at this fag. 1.00

00:18:46.000 I don't want to sit next to this fag. 1.00

00:18:48.000 God, I just said I took another fucking fag. 1.00

00:18:52.000 Oh, great. 1.00

00:18:56.000 I'm just having problems with my bag.

00:18:58.000 It's not rocket science.

00:19:00.000 Oh, here.

00:19:01.000 Let me help you with that.

00:19:02.000 Thank you so much.

00:19:04.000 I don't know why they make the deal so complicated.

00:19:06.000 They're not complicated. 0.95

00:19:08.000 You're just not smart enough. 0.90

00:19:09.000 Okay, stop. 0.96

00:19:10.000 Coming from an Italian, that's pretty rich. 0.99

00:19:15.000 Coming from an Italian fag, you guys are like maybe one point higher than that on the IQ scale. 1.00

00:19:22.000 This has never happened. 0.99

00:19:28.000 No adult male has ever Said to a special needs person that they're not smart.

00:19:33.000 Nowhere.

00:19:34.000 If you do say that to someone, then you're special needs. 0.92

00:19:39.000 No one with an IQ over 82 has ever gone, oh God, hey, you with Down syndrome, you're not very smart, are you? 0.77

00:19:49.000 What?

00:19:50.000 Maybe a child might make that accent.

00:19:53.000 I doubt it.

00:19:54.000 I doubt it.

00:19:55.000 Because kids are generally nice.

00:19:57.000 I know they can be mean too.

00:20:00.000 That's not very nice.

00:20:02.000 What?

00:20:02.000 I'm just being honest.

00:20:03.000 I mean, look at him.

00:20:05.000 You know, you should never.

00:20:07.000 Actually, stop.

00:20:08.000 This dialogue is the dialogue of children.

00:20:11.000 They're talking like six-year-olds.

00:20:14.000 That's not very nice.

00:20:16.000 Well, look at him.

00:20:17.000 That's how little kids talk.

00:20:19.000 Adults don't speak like this. 1.00

00:20:20.000 I think Dar Mann might be retarded. 1.00

00:20:22.000 You know, of course. 0.90

00:20:24.000 Didn't we theorize that he had a head injury or something like that that makes him off and he thinks this is the best thing to do?

00:20:32.000 Oh my God.

00:20:34.000 Was he in professional?

00:20:35.000 What was his former career?

00:20:37.000 Was it something where you can get away?

00:20:38.000 He was a big CBD pot, not CBD, but like marijuana dude, legal marijuana guy, and he got arrested for corruption.

00:20:46.000 Maybe he has a serious head injury and he got $3 million.

00:20:51.000 Oh my God.

00:20:52.000 Wait a second. 1.00

00:20:53.000 Holy shit. 0.99

00:20:54.000 He was the state told him to use his influence to spread awareness videos, public service announcement videos, and this is him being like... 1.00

00:21:03.000 Oh, that's a fucking- I cannot believe this. 0.96

00:21:05.000 This is going down in the history books where Ryan's theory is better than mine. 0.99

00:21:10.000 For the first time on earth, he was court-ordered.

00:21:14.000 Let's call this National Ryan Washington.

00:21:16.000 The year of our Lord. 1.00

00:21:18.000 Holy shit. 0.99

00:21:19.000 Everyone wears Crocs and gets a mullet every July 15th. 1.00

00:21:24.000 Holy Toledo.

00:21:26.000 And this is his way of just saying F you.

00:21:28.000 My theory was that he had a head injury.

00:21:31.000 He got a bunch of money.

00:21:32.000 And this is him starting a new career making videos that he thinks are good. 0.99

00:21:36.000 Better theory is that he got in big shit with the marijuana stuff. 0.96

00:21:40.000 And part of his thing was that he has a budget. 0.98

00:21:45.000 That's kind of weird.

00:21:47.000 Well, it's for the state.

00:21:48.000 I mean, he can't keep anything.

00:21:49.000 They monitor it.

00:21:50.000 Maybe they take, like, he made tons of money, like $2 million, and they made him put it into some sort of fund.

00:21:56.000 And he has to spend that money, because the state doesn't want it.

00:21:59.000 It's dirty money, on making videos that raise awareness for the public good.

00:22:05.000 Right.

00:22:06.000 And he cares so little that he like farts these out.

00:22:11.000 He pays some guy in India who barely speaks English. 0.96

00:22:14.000 He tells him on the phone what the general vibe of the thing is, ah, retarded guy gets in a plane. 0.99

00:22:18.000 You don't judge a book by its cover.

00:22:20.000 He's actually a good guy at the end.

00:22:22.000 And then some Indian's like, you're not being very nice, buddy. 1.00

00:22:26.000 And then they edit out all the buddies from the end.

00:22:29.000 TikTok, they take that out.

00:22:31.000 And Kehalcele are all good office. 0.97

00:22:36.000 You're a very Piati Lurkey. 0.99

00:22:38.000 They take Piati Lurkey out and make a pretty girl. 0.85

00:22:40.000 Toxic positivity.

00:22:42.000 That's the funniest thing I've ever heard.

00:22:46.000 He can give out bad ones.

00:22:48.000 When did he start his videos?

00:22:49.000 When did he end his sentence or whatever?

00:22:54.000 Schedule every other day.

00:22:56.000 Every other day? 0.99

00:22:57.000 That's fucking crazy. 1.00

00:22:58.000 His daughter has an Instagram account, Indian descent, wife, Hispanic. 1.00

00:23:02.000 Ew.

00:23:02.000 We have to see the timeline on this because if he was really in trouble.

00:23:06.000 Okay, so anyway, go back to the video. 0.95

00:23:08.000 That's a good theory, though, retard. 1.00

00:23:10.000 Thank you. 0.97

00:23:11.000 It's cover.

00:23:13.000 There you go.

00:23:15.000 All set.

00:23:16.000 Thank you so much.

00:23:17.000 My pleasure.

00:23:18.000 Is everyone gay in this video? 0.90

00:23:20.000 Excuse me.

00:23:21.000 Do you mind if I get in?

00:23:23.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:23:24.000 Hey, retard. 1.00

00:23:24.000 Not retard, but white retard. 1.00

00:23:26.000 Did you not realize that he has to sit down there? 0.99

00:23:30.000 Like, who goes back to their book when someone has a window seat and you're in the aisle?

00:23:35.000 You get up immediately.

00:23:37.000 And 100% of the people on earth would help the special needs guy get his suitcase in. 0.97

00:23:44.000 Except maybe three black women. 1.00

00:23:46.000 And that new wave geriatric.

00:23:49.000 Who is she? 0.99

00:23:52.000 Hi, my name is Tom.

00:23:54.000 It's nice to meet you. 1.00

00:23:55.000 Fuck off, retard. 1.00

00:23:59.000 Nice book. 1.00

00:24:00.000 It stings.

00:24:00.000 How you like it?

00:24:03.000 Okay, wait, hold on a sec. 0.99

00:24:05.000 Who in the fuck reads textbooks on a plane? 0.99

00:24:11.000 This is some bummer course you're really depressed you have to take in high school. 0.99

00:24:15.000 It's mandatory.

00:24:17.000 And if the guy was reading it, maybe he's doing some night course where he has to, he's a machinist and he has to take an advanced physics class to be able to move to the next echelon.

00:24:29.000 Then he'd wait till the plane was really cooking, right?

00:24:32.000 You're up there, you got internet and everything.

00:24:34.000 And then he'd have a piece of paper with it and a highlighter and a pencil and he'd be, you know, going to work. 1.00

00:24:40.000 That's how you read a fucking textbook. 0.98

00:24:42.000 You don't just muse over them. 1.00

00:24:46.000 Catching up on this light reading.

00:24:48.000 If that's supposed to be a book that shows like how much smarter of a book that is than something that this guy can comprehend, you know? 0.99

00:24:56.000 That's such a dumb title. 0.89

00:24:58.000 It could be Tying Shoes, if that's the case. 0.96

00:25:01.000 See if there's a book called Advanced Physics with no other subhead or anything.

00:25:06.000 See, I think they blurred the author.

00:25:10.000 So it kind of looked like a real book.

00:25:11.000 This looks similar, but no.

00:25:13.000 No, there's a few.

00:25:16.000 Yeah, but they're like, you know, textbooks.

00:25:18.000 But I don't know if you can see it, but they blurred out the author's name.

00:25:23.000 See?

00:25:24.000 On the top?

00:25:25.000 No?

00:25:26.000 See that?

00:25:26.000 There's like a yellow, very blurry right here.

00:25:31.000 Yeah, I don't think that's that.

00:25:33.000 It says Dylan.

00:25:34.000 I could make out the last name, kind of.

00:25:36.000 Or Dason.

00:25:38.000 Alright, go ahead.

00:25:39.000 This is not proof that the green screen should be abolished, by the way.

00:25:43.000 How do you like it?

00:25:44.000 How you like it?

00:25:46.000 I'm trying to read.

00:25:47.000 What did you say now?

00:25:48.000 Well, I'm sorry.

00:25:49.000 I was just asking about the book you were reading.

00:25:54.000 Okay.

00:25:55.000 Well, it is called Advanced Physics, and it is by Thomas Watson, one of the most prestigious physics scholars in the entire world.

00:26:03.000 And I would explain it to you, but I don't think you're smart enough to get it. 0.99

00:26:07.000 Who the fuck talks to special needs people like that? 1.00

00:26:12.000 Nobody. 0.99

00:26:13.000 Remember that thing?

00:26:15.000 It was in a shitlib. 0.98

00:26:18.000 You know that Reddit where they have liberals patronizing blacks, treating them as pets? 0.99

00:26:24.000 Shitlib something fest or something? 0.99

00:26:26.000 And they had that guy.

00:26:27.000 Safari.

00:26:28.000 Shitlib.

00:26:29.000 Shitlib Safari. 0.89

00:26:30.000 And they had that guy who was there was a special needs dude at the gym, and he was talking to the black guy going, hey, do you know where the waits are?

00:26:38.000 And the guy was really nice.

00:26:40.000 And they were like, this guy rocks.

00:26:43.000 He didn't know I was recording this and taking pictures, but he was totally nice to the special needs guy.

00:26:47.000 And you go, yeah. 0.99

00:26:49.000 As Chris Rock says, that's some shit you're supposed to do. 1.00

00:26:53.000 I hate when niggas bragging about shit they supposed to. 1.00

00:26:57.000 I take care of my kids. 1.00

00:26:58.000 You're supposed to take care of your kids, you low expectation of a motherfucker. 1.00

00:27:04.000 Back physics, you see. 1.00

00:27:07.000 You know what?

00:27:07.000 I really don't want to be bothered.

00:27:09.000 I just have a problem.

00:27:10.000 Call the flight attendant.

00:27:11.000 Okay, I'm not here to babysit you.

00:27:13.000 See, look. 0.96

00:27:16.000 This is anti-white male propaganda. 1.00

00:27:18.000 If you were a complete, if you were a black retard, for example, you would watch this and go, those guys are dicks. 1.00

00:27:26.000 This is ironic because this video is making special needs black people hate me. 1.00

00:27:32.000 I don't like that. 0.97

00:27:34.000 Sir, would you like some water? 1.00

00:27:36.000 Fuck off, bitch. 1.00

00:27:38.000 Hello again. 1.00

00:27:38.000 Would you like some water? 1.00

00:27:40.000 Sir.

00:27:41.000 Thank you.

00:27:41.000 Sir.

00:27:45.000 You incompetent imbecile. 1.00

00:27:47.000 I am so sorry. 1.00

00:27:48.000 That was actually all my fault.

00:27:50.000 Don't take the blame for him.

00:27:51.000 I knew he was going to be a fan of the girl.

00:27:52.000 Hold on a sec.

00:27:53.000 Stop. 1.00

00:27:54.000 He called her an incompetent imbecile and then said, don't take the blame for him. 1.00

00:27:59.000 Is she, is it her fault or not, dude? 1.00

00:28:02.000 Is she retarded? 1.00

00:28:04.000 This is ridiculous. 1.00

00:28:05.000 Nobody should have to sit next to this. 0.98

00:28:06.000 You know what?

00:28:07.000 I demand.

00:28:08.000 Pause.

00:28:09.000 Out of all the people that you have seen lose it on a plane, what percentage are not insane white males? 0.95

00:28:20.000 There's the guy with the Burger King hat, right, who said the N-word quite loudly, and he went viral because everyone was like finally a real racist. 0.98

00:28:29.000 But we dug him up and discovered that he lives in his mom's pool house and is severely mentally damaged. 0.96

00:28:39.000 Like he has the brain of a four-year-old, I'd say, maybe five. 0.91

00:28:44.000 So he doesn't count. 0.99

00:28:46.000 Crazy people don't count. 0.88

00:28:47.000 I think you might find a few more women of color than you would guys like this. 0.95

00:28:54.000 What do you think, Dar?

00:28:55.000 We should get him on the show.

00:28:56.000 That would be amazing.

00:28:58.000 Wouldn't it be funny to get Darman on the show, but have really hard-hitting questions with all of this data and statistics to back it up?

00:29:06.000 We've looked into this, and over 86% of people who lose it on a plane are African-American females. 0.99

00:29:12.000 Yet in your videos, it's 100% white males.

00:29:16.000 Right.

00:29:16.000 What say you?

00:29:17.000 We need to be nicer to each other.

00:29:21.000 Okay.

00:29:21.000 That really is.

00:29:22.000 I want to be in his video if I could.

00:29:24.000 Maybe if I could.

00:29:26.000 I bet he pays 80 bucks for a day rate.

00:29:28.000 That's fine.

00:29:30.000 I'm still down, but just getting the audition might be tough.

00:29:34.000 A new seat immediately.

00:29:37.000 Okay.

00:29:37.000 I'll go talk to the captain and see what we can do.

00:29:40.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:29:40.000 Yeah, you do that.

00:29:41.000 I'm glad we have a white. 0.99

00:29:42.000 By the way, also, speaking of white privilege, white males are the lowest on the totem pole as far as people you can abuse. 0.91

00:29:50.000 I mean, I guess they're the highest in the totem pole in that sense.

00:29:53.000 So this waitress would not be hesitating. 1.00

00:29:56.000 Waitress in the sky, that's what a stewardess is. 1.00

00:30:00.000 This waitress in the sky would not be hesitating to tell him to sit the fuck down. 1.00

00:30:04.000 She might not say fuck, but sit down. 1.00

00:30:07.000 Everyone would be screaming at him. 1.00

00:30:09.000 People would be filming it too, by the way.

00:30:11.000 Oh, yeah.

00:30:11.000 And he would instantly be vilified.

00:30:14.000 Shut the fuck up, asshole. 1.00

00:30:17.000 And she wouldn't be going, oh, I'm so sorry, sir. 1.00

00:30:20.000 That's not how people talk to white males in 2021.

00:30:24.000 She would say, you need to sit down right now. 0.99

00:30:29.000 Actually, I've noticed that flight attendants have a shitty attitude now. 1.00

00:30:35.000 Just in general. 0.93

00:30:36.000 Like, they get on the mic and they talk so much. 0.99

00:30:40.000 How many fucking announcements do we need? 0.99

00:30:42.000 There's no smoking on the plane. 0.99

00:30:44.000 Really?

00:30:45.000 Thanks for the update. 1.00

00:30:46.000 Not one person on earth thinks you're allowed to smoke on a fucking plane. 1.00

00:30:50.000 Stop it. 1.00

00:30:51.000 We'll be boarding.

00:30:52.000 We'll be landing shortly.

00:30:55.000 Put on your seatbelt.

00:30:56.000 There's turbulent.

00:30:58.000 They never shut up on that thing.

00:31:00.000 But they also say, we are, they sort of have this weird phraseology where they say, we're not here to serve you.

00:31:06.000 We're here to help you.

00:31:07.000 It's not said like that, but it's that kind of a vibe where they make sure we don't see them as waitresses. 0.99

00:31:12.000 Anyway, she'd be abusing the shit out of him if this was real life. 1.00

00:31:15.000 Oh my God. 0.98

00:31:16.000 I'm so sorry.

00:31:16.000 Can I have you?

00:31:17.000 Can I...

00:31:18.000 No! 0.95

00:31:19.000 Clearly, you are not smart enough to do anything right.

00:31:22.000 I'm sorry.

00:31:27.000 Okay.

00:31:28.000 I've spoken to the captain.

00:31:30.000 Great.

00:31:30.000 Did he find me a new seat?

00:31:32.000 Even better.

00:31:33.000 He's upgrading the ticket to first class.

00:31:35.000 Ha ha ha ha ha.

00:31:36.000 That's what I'm talking about.

00:31:39.000 I want that on my board.

00:31:42.000 That's what I'm talking about.

00:31:44.000 That's what I'm talking about.

00:31:47.000 That's what I'm talking about.

00:31:49.000 And thank goodness I don't have to spend the entire flight sitting in the background.

00:31:51.000 Hold on a second.

00:31:52.000 How are you?

00:31:53.000 This guy obviously wants to be an actor, right?

00:31:54.000 How are you this old?

00:31:57.000 The guy's 60.

00:31:58.000 How are you this old?

00:32:00.000 He's got all his hair.

00:32:01.000 He's handsome.

00:32:02.000 And you're doing Dar Man videos for $100.

00:32:07.000 I'm not impressed, sir. 0.99

00:32:10.000 A retard has your career. 1.00

00:32:14.000 I'll just grab the suitcase. 0.99

00:32:16.000 She's good.

00:32:17.000 She's my favorite extra.

00:32:18.000 Oh, no, no.

00:32:18.000 It's not my suitcase.

00:32:19.000 You got the wrong one.

00:32:21.000 Oh, I'm sorry I wasn't more clear.

00:32:23.000 The captain is actually upgrading his ticket to first class.

00:32:28.000 Because we all agree, he shouldn't have To sit next to someone like this, wait. 0.98

00:32:33.000 That's ridiculous. 0.94

00:32:34.000 Everyone would be clapping right now, by the way. 0.69

00:32:36.000 How would you like to move to first class with us?

00:32:38.000 We'd love to have you there.

00:32:39.000 Wow, I love that.

00:32:42.000 But I'm with my friend.

00:32:44.000 And then he shows he's better and bigger than that guy.

00:32:46.000 Yeah, I'm only going to first class if my friend can come.

00:32:50.000 Yeah.

00:32:50.000 And then he's like, you know what?

00:32:51.000 You're not.

00:32:52.000 Actually, we're both parachuting out of here.

00:32:54.000 We're spies.

00:32:58.000 Like at the beginning of the first Charlie's Angels, they ripped their masks off. 0.95

00:33:03.000 Now, wouldn't it be funny, though, if right now the black guy was pretending to be a retard that whole time so he could get first class? 1.00

00:33:09.000 And as he walks by, the white guy is like, in your face, motherfucker. 1.00

00:33:14.000 That's called acting, bitch. 1.00

00:33:17.000 We have to finish these videos. 1.00

00:33:18.000 I got first class, motherfucker. 0.98

00:33:28.000 What if Key and Peel are like, all right, we have an idea, but we don't want to release it under our name? 0.99

00:33:34.000 Let's ghost fright Fergus.

00:33:35.000 Remember that Dharman guy? 1.00

00:33:37.000 We'll just have him like do something at the end of the video.

00:33:39.000 Roll right everything.

00:33:40.000 This is as good as Key and Peel.

00:33:42.000 Yeah.

00:33:43.000 Like if someone said, do you want to watch a Dharman video or a Kiyam Peel video?

00:33:46.000 I'd go, who cares?

00:33:47.000 And then Kiyam Peel's like, well, Hino Tomato.

00:33:50.000 Key and Peel's like, but how do we get it into schools where it's like kind of mandatory that you show this to people in like a learning setting?

00:33:57.000 My wife sent me a Key and Peel video this morning where the one guy has a hat, baseball hat, and then the other guy shows up and his still has the tag on it with the stickers.

00:34:07.000 And then Peel shows up, or Keys shows up, and his is still in the plastic bag from the store.

00:34:18.000 Yo, what's up, man?

00:34:19.000 How you?

00:34:24.000 Keeping it straight.

00:34:25.000 See, this is what we mean when we say sprinkles, guys.

00:34:28.000 Stop sending me mediocre comedians that are slightly funny.

00:34:31.000 This is magic.

00:34:40.000 The katana plays.

00:34:44.000 I guess I'll check you later.

00:34:46.000 All right, Dawk.

00:34:53.000 How do you stand funny?

00:34:54.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:34:55.000 How do you lean?

00:34:57.000 And then when you pull back, I'm going to lean on a pole.

00:35:01.000 I know where that is.

00:35:02.000 That's the Fox Lot in LA.

00:35:11.000 What's up, man?

00:35:16.000 Her seat?

00:35:17.000 Her seat is in the bag.

00:35:19.000 Yeah, man.

00:35:24.000 How's Denise? 0.88

00:35:25.000 Oh, yeah, Denise.

00:35:26.000 She got it.

00:35:27.000 She got it.

00:35:28.000 Anyway.

00:35:32.000 Yeah, dog, yeah.

00:35:33.000 Ain't no time.

00:35:34.000 Come on, tick it. 0.92

00:35:35.000 I'm in there, dog.

00:35:36.000 I'm in there.

00:35:36.000 No, I'm in there, dog.

00:35:37.000 I'm in there.

00:35:37.000 Tuck it.

00:35:38.000 I'm in there.

00:35:39.000 Tuck it.

00:35:39.000 I'm tucking it in.

00:35:40.000 Dog, I'm in there.

00:35:40.000 Dog, I'm in there, dog.

00:35:41.000 I'm in there, dog.

00:35:43.000 No?

00:35:44.000 Alright.

00:35:49.000 Don't do the blade again.

00:35:50.000 Thank you.

00:36:00.000 What?

00:36:01.000 Oh, no.

00:36:06.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

00:36:11.000 Oh.

00:36:14.000 Anyway, you know, you gotta come real, come correct when you come in at all, you know? 0.99

00:36:19.000 Anyway, quality darn. 0.96

00:36:20.000 Let's get back to Dharma. 0.97

00:36:22.000 I was like a thriller because I knew it was going to escalate, but I couldn't figure out how.

00:36:26.000 Right, and they, instead of going one, one, one, one, one, one, they realize you know where it's going, so they just like multiply and bang, slam it in at the end.

00:36:33.000 It's just exponents here.

00:36:35.000 Incredible quality.

00:36:36.000 This is also incredible quality. 0.99

00:36:39.000 With an angry homosexual on the plane. 1.00

00:36:41.000 By the way, stop. 1.00

00:36:48.000 He just fucked it up. 0.98

00:36:49.000 Just like the bird which is the bald eagle. 0.99

00:36:52.000 That's the equivalent of the Chinese lady on his head on the hat, making the hat. 1.00

00:36:56.000 They just jumped that shark.

00:36:57.000 And you know, they gave up on the line.

00:37:00.000 Because the line is, by the way, that book is going to get even better in the next chapter.

00:37:04.000 And he's like, I got it.

00:37:05.000 By the way, that book is good.

00:37:07.000 The next chapter.

00:37:08.000 And it was like, take 12.

00:37:09.000 And he was starting to get tired.

00:37:11.000 And his handler was sort of like, he should have a sandwich at this point.

00:37:16.000 Legally, we can't.

00:37:17.000 Yeah, legally, you can't do more than 12 takes.

00:37:20.000 It's considered special people abuse.

00:37:23.000 So they're like, all right, just the next chapter, fine.

00:37:25.000 Darman doesn't even go to these things.

00:37:27.000 No, he's never seen him.

00:37:29.000 This is his probation.

00:37:30.000 I don't think he's even seen him.

00:37:32.000 He's like, wait, what have you been putting under my name?

00:37:34.000 He saw about two, and he was like, nah, whatever.

00:37:37.000 That book is even better.

00:37:39.000 The next chapter.

00:37:40.000 What are you talking about?

00:37:41.000 How would you know?

00:37:43.000 Because I am Tom Thomas Washington.

00:37:46.000 Come on.

00:37:48.000 Come on, book.

00:37:51.000 Wait.

00:37:52.000 You wrote.

00:37:53.000 I'm sorry, but special needs people have an ADIQ across the board.

00:38:01.000 There is no such thing as a person with Down syndrome who can write any kind of book at all.

00:38:09.000 They're great people.

00:38:11.000 They're not less than us.

00:38:12.000 One could argue that they are God's chosen special people.

00:38:16.000 They are perpetually optimistic.

00:38:18.000 They are an integral part of humanity because humanity has variety.

00:38:23.000 God didn't make us all the same.

00:38:25.000 He didn't make us all equally capable.

00:38:27.000 So some are special needs.

00:38:30.000 They can't write a book.

00:38:34.000 They should not be beauty queens. 1.00

00:38:36.000 They're wonderful people.

00:38:39.000 They're literally special people.

00:38:41.000 They're not models.

00:38:42.000 They tend not to be attractive.

00:38:43.000 Unfortunately, they have a thing with the eyes that goes like this.

00:38:47.000 That's an unfortunate trait, but it doesn't make you hot.

00:38:51.000 If you're a burn victim, you cannot be Miss America.

00:38:55.000 You're a good person.

00:38:56.000 There's nothing wrong with you.

00:38:57.000 But your skin is gone, and that's not attractive. 1.00

00:39:01.000 Freddy Krueger is not on the cover of GQ.

00:39:05.000 Can we stop this, please?

00:39:08.000 You know what?

00:39:09.000 When you have a specialties person in an octagon and he fights a professional fighter and he wins, sure, go nuts.

00:39:17.000 It was a few minutes out of that fighter's day.

00:39:20.000 You made the kid's life go bananas.

00:39:22.000 You're not obviously not fooling anyone.

00:39:25.000 Singing the national anthem, I'm of two minds about that.

00:39:31.000 I mean, it's respectful. 0.99

00:39:34.000 It's going to make his life, but it sucks. 0.89

00:39:38.000 Oh, I'm sorry. 0.96

00:39:40.000 Can you see better than that?

00:39:45.000 Oh, it's so bad.

00:39:49.000 Is that...

00:39:51.000 You know what I mean?

00:39:53.000 Well, I hate to tell you my friends.

00:39:54.000 Like, what if somebody is...

00:39:55.000 There is one really good one.

00:40:11.000 That's fantastic.

00:40:12.000 I'm all for that, obviously.

00:40:14.000 I've never seen anything like that before, though.

00:40:16.000 So that's definitely the case.

00:40:17.000 Everyone loves that.

00:40:19.000 See, this is what pisses me off about modern American culture in general is this whole fake straw man evil person.

00:40:28.000 You know who likes, you know who has a problem with that handicapped girl singing the national anthem beautifully? 1.00

00:40:33.000 Nobody on earth.

00:40:34.000 Nobody.

00:40:35.000 Everyone thinks that's great.

00:40:37.000 This is why when people say, are you racist?

00:40:39.000 I go, not only am I not racist, nobody is.

00:40:42.000 It's not a thing.

00:40:45.000 If your neighbor moves next door, he's a nice middle-class black guy.

00:40:48.000 No one goes, oh, great.

00:40:50.000 There goes the neighborhood. 1.00

00:40:52.000 That stupid fucking horror movie where the Karen, I think it's called Karen, where a normal black family moves in next door and she tries to kill them. 1.00

00:41:01.000 Come the fuck on. 1.00

00:41:05.000 People don't want poor blacks moving in next door and trashing the neighborhood, but they don't want white trash moving in next door. 1.00

00:41:11.000 There's classism in America and maybe it's justified. 1.00

00:41:16.000 Even in my neighborhood, they didn't want me in there and I think a lot of it was classism because they see me as trashy.

00:41:21.000 Maybe they're right.

00:41:23.000 We have had the police come by several times.

00:41:26.000 We did have a guy with a gun covered in blood outside where I had to confiscate his gun.

00:41:32.000 Has that ever happened on my street?

00:41:34.000 Absolutely not. 0.99

00:41:37.000 We are trash. 0.99

00:41:40.000 Or Tanya Harding. 0.98

00:41:42.000 Even though she was good at figure skating, they said, we don't want you here. 1.00

00:41:45.000 You're trash. 1.00

00:41:46.000 What happened? 1.00

00:41:48.000 Someone got their fucking kneecaps smashed in. 1.00

00:41:52.000 That's true. 1.00

00:41:53.000 Because though she didn't do it, she attracted other white trash. 1.00

00:41:56.000 And white trash decided, I want you to do good. 1.00

00:41:59.000 I'm going to fuck up that bitch that you're fighting with. 1.00

00:42:03.000 Looks like the snobs were right. 1.00

00:42:06.000 This stuff is still so mad.

00:42:08.000 It's like they're parading them around.

00:42:11.000 It's the exact same as doing it with kids.

00:42:13.000 Right.

00:42:14.000 They don't know any better.

00:42:15.000 They don't have like, you know, they can't think critically and be like, is this ethical?

00:42:19.000 And it's conceivable that someone with Down syndrome would be obsessed with drag and want to be in drag.

00:42:23.000 But there'd be one in Turkey.

00:42:25.000 There'd be one in Bavaria.

00:42:27.000 There'd be one in North Carolina.

00:42:29.000 And that's it.

00:42:30.000 All seven of them happen to be at the same British camp.

00:42:34.000 What a quinky dink. 0.97

00:42:37.000 Anyway, let's finish up, Darman.

00:42:40.000 I bought that book.

00:42:41.000 No, you didn't.

00:42:42.000 That's impossible.

00:42:44.000 Advanced physics?

00:42:46.000 Like, what the hell are you saying now?

00:42:48.000 That someone with Down syndrome, because he's not just, like, special.

00:42:51.000 There could have been someone like this with Parkinson's that has trouble talking.

00:42:56.000 I'm like, good.

00:42:58.000 You, you, you.

00:42:59.000 Then you'd be like, oh, okay, you just have Parkinson's.

00:43:01.000 You're still normal.

00:43:03.000 You just can't control your motor functions.

00:43:05.000 Gotcha.

00:43:06.000 This guy, you can tell by his face, he clearly has Down syndrome.

00:43:09.000 He can't write any book.

00:43:11.000 He couldn't write a book about a dog.

00:43:12.000 He couldn't write a children's book. 0.97

00:43:14.000 Well, maybe a little silly children's book. 0.92

00:43:16.000 But advanced physics?

00:43:17.000 So, who are you talking to here? 0.79

00:43:20.000 I guess retards. 1.00

00:43:24.000 I don't understand. 0.87

00:43:25.000 Like, you don't look like somebody who...

00:43:27.000 Well, I guess you should never adjust a book by its cover.

00:43:31.000 Literal, and there you go.

00:43:33.000 Nailed it.

00:43:34.000 Have your seat ready for you.

00:43:35.000 The plane's going to crash now.

00:43:37.000 I'm coming.

00:43:39.000 Have a nice flight. 1.00

00:43:41.000 Motherfucker. 1.00

00:43:45.000 Sir, your 30-pound tongue has to be put in the storage compartment in the car. 1.00

00:43:50.000 Sir, we're just starting.

00:43:51.000 Obviously, this flight is full.

00:43:52.000 Why would you think there'd be first-class seats?

00:43:56.000 Poor guy.

00:43:57.000 So my 10-year-old daughter keeps full first seat. 1.00

00:43:59.000 That was mean, but I couldn't resist it.

00:44:02.000 You've seen this one, though, right?

00:44:03.000 I mean, just this clip of the black thing here. 0.98

00:44:09.000 Wait.

00:44:10.000 Isn't that your car right there?

00:44:14.000 Like, this is, I think he's jumping the shark and he's showing his cards.

00:44:18.000 Like, this is a comedy.

00:44:21.000 Mom?

00:44:23.000 You stole my car?

00:44:26.000 Can you steal your mom's car?

00:44:28.000 What happened to my windshield?

00:44:30.000 Mom, mom, I thought you were sleeping.

00:44:33.000 Okay, okay, look, look.

00:44:35.000 I can't explain.

00:44:36.000 Isn't the proper vernacular you took the car?

00:44:48.000 They totally should have been.

00:44:49.000 Blacking. 0.86

00:44:50.000 They blew it.

00:44:50.000 So the moral of that one is a Chicano street gang was accused of stealing a car, and they're actually sweethearts.

00:44:56.000 They were doing the free breakfast program.

00:44:59.000 Oh, you've seen it?

00:45:00.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:45:00.000 He's got a pretty...

00:45:01.000 No, I'm guessing.

00:45:02.000 Really?

00:45:02.000 Yeah.

00:45:02.000 Oh, okay.

00:45:03.000 He's got a pretty big budget.

00:45:05.000 You know, like police uniforms and police cars.

00:45:09.000 This is like a, I would say a $20,000 short minimum.

00:45:13.000 What you have to do is...

00:45:14.000 And that's cutting lots of corners.

00:45:16.000 He literally says, my cousin one was here in the restaurant business.

00:45:21.000 But actually, he owns the largest chain of steakhouses in Mexico.

00:45:25.000 And we're giving free food to people.

00:45:29.000 He's not a farmer.

00:45:31.000 He owns the largest agave plant in Mexico.

00:45:34.000 And his number one client is Jesus Christ.

00:45:39.000 You thought my cousin was just some spic?

00:45:41.000 He's the son of God.

00:45:44.000 It doesn't work out a lot.

00:45:45.000 All right, that's enough of that.

00:45:46.000 So we learned a lot of lessons.

00:45:48.000 I think yesterday we learned from now on on Thursdays, I'm just going to do letters for the first hour with Maddie, and I'll edit them first so they're all good.

00:45:56.000 And then calls for the second hour.

00:45:58.000 Because cramming news and a guest and the sponsors and the half-hour goodbye, it's too clunky to get into stories.

00:46:07.000 But let's start the show.

00:46:09.000 I forgot the newspaper today.

00:46:11.000 Maybe you can pull up the front page.

00:46:13.000 I haven't even seen it yet, actually.

00:46:18.000 And then we're going to get into a little bit of, should we do feminism first? 1.00

00:46:23.000 No, I want to do education here.

00:46:24.000 We need a new interstitial. 0.59

00:46:26.000 We need an education background.

00:46:27.000 No, do the cover.

00:46:28.000 Hunter Biden paused probe before 2020 election.

00:46:32.000 Wait, go back.

00:46:33.000 I didn't see that.

00:46:35.000 That's pretty interesting.

00:46:36.000 Hunter Biden prosecutor paused probe.

00:46:40.000 Amazing.

00:46:41.000 Go down.

00:46:41.000 The Kwinky Dink.

00:46:42.000 Is that fucking... 1.00

00:46:43.000 Bye-bye, Buoy. 1.00

00:46:44.000 Sternstaffers score fast buyers for homes amid NYC exits.

00:46:49.000 Tense video shows young gunman fatally shoot cyclist.

00:46:52.000 Yeah, more of the same.

00:46:54.000 God, Baba Bowie's getting old, huh? 1.00

00:46:56.000 Yeah.

00:46:58.000 And then Britney Spears' mom posts cryptic message amid conservative... 0.99

00:47:01.000 Conservatorship.

00:47:04.000 Conservatorship.

00:47:07.000 Conservatorship.

00:47:08.000 Conservatorship.

00:47:09.000 Is it orship?

00:47:11.000 Conservatorship.

00:47:12.000 Look that up.

00:47:12.000 How do you pronounce it?

00:47:14.000 Conservatorship.

00:47:15.000 It's one of those words I can't say.

00:47:16.000 Abominable snowman, Exalciser, and conservatorship.

00:47:22.000 Conservator.

00:47:26.000 Wait, you can hit speech on things?

00:47:27.000 I didn't know that.

00:47:28.000 Conservatorship.

00:47:29.000 Conservator.

00:47:31.000 Conservator.

00:47:31.000 Conservatorship.

00:47:33.000 Conservatorship.

00:47:36.000 That's my favorite type of ship.

00:47:38.000 Here we go.

00:47:39.000 What do you think's going on with that with Brittany?

00:47:41.000 I think she's getting tons of money every day. 1.00

00:47:45.000 And every time the judge feels sorry for her, he sees how much money she gets. 1.00

00:47:47.000 He goes, holy shit. 1.00

00:47:50.000 Oh, wait, there's hookers in Brooklyn? 1.00

00:47:51.000 I'm sorry. 0.99

00:47:52.000 Sex openly on streets of Brooklyn.

00:47:56.000 Remember, Brooklyn is vast.

00:47:57.000 That could be East New York, South Brooklyn.

00:48:00.000 It's not Williamsburg.

00:48:02.000 Soft justice official ignore trafficking.

00:48:04.000 Okay.

00:48:05.000 Education.

00:48:07.000 New interstitial needed.

00:48:10.000 I thought this was amazing.

00:48:11.000 So they talked about having cameras in schools, which I think is a great idea.

00:48:17.000 Someone where your kids are.

00:48:18.000 They should have it at daycare's, right?

00:48:19.000 You want to make sure your kid's not getting abused, hit, ignored, neglected.

00:48:24.000 All daycares should have cameras in them. 0.71

00:48:28.000 We're not invading your privacy.

00:48:29.000 That's our child there.

00:48:32.000 Now, I would like it if bars had cameras, just so I could see if my friends were there.

00:48:35.000 But we had that guy last night who told us about Beer Buddy, which was a cool piece of information.

00:48:42.000 And as my dad pointed out, for elections, there should be 3D cameras over everyone counting.

00:48:48.000 And anyone can tune in at any time and just watch them count the ballots.

00:48:55.000 Wouldn't that be cool?

00:48:56.000 Why doesn't that exist?

00:48:57.000 It's not complicated technology.

00:48:59.000 It should all be live streamed.

00:49:01.000 Cameras above every desk who's counting.

00:49:03.000 Similarly, teachers, there should be a 3D camera in there.

00:49:07.000 Not a 3D, you know what I mean, right?

00:49:08.000 The 360?

00:49:09.000 360.

00:49:10.000 Yep.

00:49:10.000 With audio.

00:49:12.000 And I thought, I wonder how the left is going to defend this.

00:49:16.000 Like, object to this.

00:49:18.000 And this is their objection.

00:49:20.000 I don't want the police involved in my kids' education.

00:49:25.000 What?

00:49:26.000 The police?

00:49:28.000 What are you going to get?

00:49:29.000 If anyone is going to get arrested or in trouble, it's going to be anyone saying conservative values. 0.98

00:49:35.000 So though I'm for this, I would argue that the people most at risk of getting in shit are going to be conservatives. 0.99

00:49:42.000 Because they'll say something like, this land wasn't stolen from the Indians. 0.99

00:49:45.000 It wasn't built on slavery.

00:49:47.000 Then there's going to be a big woke mob outside the school.

00:49:50.000 Look at Brett Weinstein.

00:49:51.000 His career's over because he refused to leave the campus the day they said no white males on campus.

00:49:59.000 So that's where the scrutiny is.

00:50:00.000 The mob doesn't come after liberals. 1.00

00:50:04.000 Although, if they go really, really far, like this is how far they have to go to get in shit. 0.99

00:50:09.000 Remember that Asian woman here in New York at private schools? 0.99

00:50:12.000 She said she wanted to educate children on porn awareness, porn literacy.

00:50:20.000 So this is what kids, this is what a gangbang is, this is what pegging is.

00:50:25.000 This is what a threesome is. 1.00

00:50:27.000 This is what squirting is.

00:50:30.000 That's how far they have to go. 1.00

00:50:31.000 They have to almost fuck our kids before we tune in. 1.00

00:50:34.000 But what is that first one? 1.00

00:50:38.000 No, no, yeah, we got that.

00:50:41.000 A fight in Springfield Mass over the use of video surveillance in schools is part of a broader debate playing out from London to Wisconsin over the use of increasingly sophisticated surveillance technology to ensure public safety.

00:50:56.000 That's not what it's about.

00:50:58.000 I want to know what my children are studying.

00:51:00.000 And they're not very forthcoming, by the way, because they know you're going to cause a scene.

00:51:04.000 So when you ask your kid, are you being taught about Tulsa as ethnocide?

00:51:11.000 Are you being taught critical race theory?

00:51:12.000 They don't tend to tell you, especially when they get into their teens. 0.99

00:51:17.000 I don't know shit. 1.00

00:51:19.000 I had a big fight with my daughter the other day about gay priests, gay camp counselors. 1.00

00:51:28.000 And I said, no, if you're in the Boy Scouts, you shouldn't be. 0.98

00:51:32.000 I don't want you to be gay. 1.00

00:51:34.000 Why do you want to be a camp counselor? 0.99

00:51:36.000 And then I told her about someone we know who was molested at a camp when he was a kid.

00:51:42.000 That was kind of dirty pool of me because that really shocked her. 0.98

00:51:48.000 But she was like, oh, so you think all gays are rapists? 1.00

00:51:51.000 And then my wife jumps in, because she's a fucking lib, with it's priests who molest little boys. 1.00

00:51:57.000 And I'm like, hey, that's an 80s thing. 1.00

00:52:00.000 The church seems to have nipped that.

00:52:03.000 I'm not going to say in the bud because it was after it fully bloomed.

00:52:06.000 And even let's say that is true, that doesn't negate a different truth. 0.98

00:52:09.000 But They're also gay priests. 0.98

00:52:12.000 It's not straight priests who do that, it's gay priests. 0.99

00:52:16.000 They would send gays off to go super religious sometimes. 1.00

00:52:19.000 And she goes, oh, so you're a homophobe. 0.99

00:52:21.000 My daughter's saying this. 0.98

00:52:22.000 And I'm like, no, a disproportionate number of molesters are gay, especially when they're eagerly getting involved in things where they don't have a stake, like their kid isn't into it. 0.83

00:52:35.000 Like if you're childless and you want to be a baseball coach, I'm already a little dubious. 0.77

00:52:42.000 Why do you care about strangers' kids baseball? 0.97

00:52:46.000 And then if you have no kids, now it's really fucking weird. 0.97

00:52:49.000 And here's the uncomfortable truth. 1.00

00:52:51.000 You have a room with 100 gays. 1.00

00:52:54.000 There's going to be like, and I'm pulling this out of my ass. 1.00

00:52:57.000 I'm sure the stats are elsewhere. 0.99

00:53:02.000 12 people who have not just molested kids, but have a criminal record for it.

00:53:08.000 You have a room of 100 straight men.

00:53:11.000 Might be one.

00:53:12.000 Maybe.

00:53:14.000 Probably not.

00:53:14.000 It's probably less than 1%.

00:53:17.000 That's just a fact.

00:53:18.000 So why take the risk?

00:53:20.000 Remember that gay choir where they were coming out saying, we're coming for your kids? 0.89

00:53:24.000 And then out of the whatever it was, 100 people, we discovered 12 to 14 hadn't just molested, but had criminal records for it.

00:53:34.000 Sorry.

00:53:35.000 I'm not a sharkophobe, but I'm not going to go swimming around sharks.

00:53:40.000 Because they be biting.

00:53:41.000 Did you hear these sharks?

00:53:42.000 They be biting.

00:53:43.000 So the way the left out with those cameras is to say, I don't want the police monitoring my children.

00:53:49.000 Then don't give the police the codes.

00:53:52.000 The only people who should have the codes to watch those particular live streams are the parents of the kids.

00:53:58.000 Now, we know we're good at verifying who the parents of the kids are because you don't want some stranger picking them up from school.

00:54:04.000 So you have to sign in.

00:54:06.000 I've picked up my kids from school before.

00:54:07.000 I need my driver's license.

00:54:08.000 I show I'm me.

00:54:09.000 Because even with divorced parents, when all these missing children you see, 99% of the time, it's a dad who's pissed off that he didn't get custody, stealing the kids and hitting the road.

00:54:21.000 So the schools have to be very wary of that.

00:54:23.000 So they know who the parents are.

00:54:24.000 I can see my kids' homework.

00:54:26.000 I can sign into that and see how much work they've done.

00:54:29.000 So I can monitor my kids' progress, but I can't monitor what you tell my kids.

00:54:34.000 Isn't that interesting?

00:54:36.000 Every time we come up with a solution, like that letter we had the other night where he said, why don't we have Republicans insisting it's easier for people to get ID?

00:54:46.000 That would be a great way to beat the Democrats at their own game.

00:54:50.000 Remember that guy that we almost had on the show?

00:54:53.000 He's talking about, because all the classes were Zoom-based, and we're like, we don't know how long this is going to go on for. 0.82

00:54:58.000 But, you know, like people who are quietly not super duper liberal in colleges that are doing these Zoom courses can record and stream their lessons.

00:55:07.000 Oh, yeah.

00:55:08.000 Yeah.

00:55:09.000 And so, and it can't be deleted and they can't track it.

00:55:11.000 And then also there's an incentive for doing that for the students and stuff.

00:55:15.000 And once you start it, there's no way to stop that.

00:55:18.000 And then the teachers would, yeah, they said, hey, conservatives, or sorry, hey, other teachers, be prepared for conservative mobs to be beating down your door. 0.99

00:55:27.000 Meanwhile, they invented the whole fucking mob thing. 0.99

00:55:32.000 All right, LGBTQ subject. 1.00

00:55:35.000 Give me some rainbows.

00:55:38.000 So Amazon employees will quit if you have transphobic content.

00:55:44.000 And when we say transphobic content, we mean when Harry became Sally.

00:55:49.000 If you go to Amazon right now, that book is not available.

00:55:53.000 Books about it are available, which is why you should hoard books.

00:55:59.000 I have CDs from the 90s that I've moved from house to house with them.

00:56:04.000 I'm not giving them up.

00:56:06.000 I have books upon books upon books, boxes and boxes, and they literally go back to the 80s.

00:56:12.000 I don't think I've ever thrown out a nonfiction book.

00:56:15.000 Thank God I still have these books because books are becoming scarce.

00:56:21.000 When Harry Became Sally, right?

00:56:23.000 Yes.

00:56:26.000 Now, if you go to Amazon, you'll find a lot of books criticizing that book.

00:56:30.000 Summary of When Harry Became Sally.

00:56:32.000 Wow.

00:56:33.000 Responding to the books.

00:56:34.000 We've talked about this on the show before, Ryan.

00:56:36.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:56:37.000 But is this new?

00:56:39.000 Yeah, April 4th.

00:56:40.000 I don't know.

00:56:40.000 This might have been after we did that show.

00:56:43.000 So do you think this is a good summary or this is a... 0.99

00:56:45.000 No, it's definitely shitting all over it. 0.99

00:56:48.000 Wow. 0.95

00:56:48.000 And also, why can I find books about books and not the actual book? 0.95

00:56:54.000 So go to the article.

00:56:57.000 Where is it now?

00:56:59.000 1.5?

00:57:03.000 These people are controlling...

00:57:05.000 At least two Amazon employees have resigned in recent weeks to protest the company's decision to continue to sell a book they say frames young people who identify as transgender as mentally ill.

00:57:15.000 Pretty valid argument.

00:57:17.000 I'm not saying it's my opinion that it's true, but it's not an unequivocal fact.

00:57:23.000 And then Abigail Schreier says, you're welcome.

00:57:27.000 And let's click on her.

00:57:30.000 See, I'm going to buy this book and just store it before it vanishes.

00:57:35.000 Irreversible damage.

00:57:37.000 What's the subhead there?

00:57:38.000 I can't read it.

00:57:43.000 Hello?

00:57:44.000 Does that help?

00:57:44.000 Just zoom in.

00:57:45.000 Oh. 0.99

00:57:49.000 The transgender craze seducing our daughters. 1.00

00:57:52.000 It does seem to be seducing more girls than boys. 1.00

00:57:56.000 And yeah, they cut their tits off when they turn a certain age, which just looks so depraved, doesn't it? 1.00

00:58:03.000 How macabre is that? 1.00

00:58:05.000 Like Nat Getty or the woman in that video where she carried the baby to term, but she's the father.

00:58:12.000 And you just look at these.

00:58:13.000 They're brutal scars. 1.00

00:58:16.000 You cut your tits off. 1.00

00:58:18.000 We're so worried about sexism, yet we live in a world where we encourage women to remove their fucking tits and throw the meat in the garbage. 1.00

00:58:28.000 They literally threw their tits in the garbage. 1.00

00:58:30.000 I'm saying literally about this show. 0.99

00:58:31.000 I hope it's always grammatically correct.

00:58:36.000 Yeah, so when they take these hormone blockers, they can't breed.

00:58:39.000 It is irreversible damage.

00:58:40.000 That's just a fact.

00:58:41.000 Hate fact.

00:58:43.000 You don't think that looks good?

00:58:46.000 That she looks like a G.I. Joe where, like, the top rotates as a rubber band here.

00:58:51.000 Connecting to the...

00:58:52.000 Oh, it's so sad.

00:58:54.000 I'm obsessed with this couple. 0.88

00:58:57.000 They're both maimed.

00:59:00.000 And Gigi Gorgeous doesn't like him. 0.97

00:59:02.000 Gigi Gorgeous is a normal gay man who's attracted to like hunks. 0.75

00:59:08.000 Natty's not a hunk. 0.64

00:59:10.000 And Natty has tiny little toes, and Gigi has my feet. 0.98

00:59:15.000 Yet they have this depraved, sick relationship that's actually heterosexual, much to both of their chagrin. 1.00

00:59:22.000 Nat Getty is definitely disgusted by his wife's penis, and Gigi is definitely disgusted by her husband's vagina. 1.00

00:59:33.000 Yet every night they're there pumping away. 1.00

00:59:36.000 They definitely have orgies where Nat Getty gets to eat pussy and Gigi gets to suck a dick. 1.00

00:59:44.000 And pretend it's, yeah, because it's the real thing. 1.00

00:59:46.000 What a mess.

00:59:48.000 The new normal.

00:59:51.000 Read it for the girls in your life.

00:59:54.000 We've had two letters so far this week about, oh, sorry, last week, about moms whose daughters were brainwashed into thinking they were boys.

01:00:03.000 And they had to deprogram them like they were Scientologists.

01:00:08.000 Anyway, also in the news, Jared Holt isn't gay. 0.99

01:00:12.000 He actually hates gays. 1.00

01:00:13.000 He's a homophobe. 1.00

01:00:14.000 This is the Nazi conservative watcher, anti-gay Facebook post of right-wing watches, Jared Holt. 0.99

01:00:22.000 Wait, is that June 27th? 0.91

01:00:24.000 Geesh, ancient Chinese secret. 0.99

01:00:29.000 To the class of 13.

01:00:30.000 Dear class of 13, congratulations.

01:00:32.000 Now you're the lowest of the low.

01:00:33.000 Here, just a few helpful words of advice. 0.98

01:00:37.000 You're not cool. 0.97

01:00:38.000 Everyone hates you. 1.00

01:00:38.000 You're annoying. 1.00

01:00:39.000 Sex doesn't make you cool. 1.00

01:00:40.000 And it won't make the upper class boys think any higher of you.

01:00:42.000 So don't go around bragging about it.

01:00:43.000 No one cares about you.

01:00:44.000 No one cares. 1.00

01:00:45.000 You look like an easy freshman whore. 1.00

01:00:47.000 Just leave all the slutty things you did in eighth grade and middle school. 1.00

01:00:50.000 Don't brag about the number of seniors you know. 0.96

01:00:52.000 The more you brag, the more we can tell you're a freshman. 0.70

01:00:55.000 You are a F-R-E-S-H-M-A-N, not a freshie. 1.00

01:00:58.000 Shut up. 1.00

01:00:58.000 You sound like a queer. 1.00

01:01:00.000 Don't walk around telling. 1.00

01:01:02.000 So he was always a little bitch, a little cunt. 1.00

01:01:07.000 Respect your teachers and peers. 1.00

01:01:09.000 Getting written up every day and purposely feeling really doesn't look cool.

01:01:13.000 Isn't that amazing?

01:01:14.000 That's who these tattletale journalists are. 1.00

01:01:16.000 They're the bitchy little mean girls from college who would shit on the freshmen because they're not seniors. 1.00

01:01:24.000 That's your crime as a freshman. 1.00

01:01:27.000 You're not as old as a senior.

01:01:29.000 He's trying to gatekeep coolness within like a nerd.

01:01:34.000 He's a hall monitor.

01:01:35.000 He's a tattle.

01:01:36.000 I knew kids like this, but they didn't have the confidence to write things like this.

01:01:40.000 My generation, they were still shamed.

01:01:42.000 They weren't cool.

01:01:43.000 They knew it.

01:01:44.000 I remember kids like this.

01:01:45.000 We would hang them from the basketball net by their underwear, and they would be there for an hour until someone could get them down.

01:01:51.000 We would wedgie these guys so hard that the waistband would be gone.

01:01:55.000 Oh, yeah, the waistband would be gone.

01:01:57.000 I don't consider it a wedgie if it's not an atomic wedgie.

01:01:59.000 In fact, as far as I'm concerned, atomic is redundant.

01:02:03.000 The waistband has to come off.

01:02:05.000 If you just wedgie someone and they can untuck it and they have a waistband, then you're just joking around with your friend.

01:02:12.000 It has to be no waistband.

01:02:15.000 So he said the word queer to try to be cool.

01:02:18.000 Right?

01:02:19.000 But I don't think he's gay. 1.00

01:02:20.000 He's just a loser. 1.00

01:02:22.000 Maybe, I don't know. 1.00

01:02:23.000 You know, maybe if he's not gay, then when you called him a queer that one time, you're like, are you gay?

01:02:28.000 When he was making that face like this, he was like...

01:02:32.000 Well, yeah, I wonder why... 1.00

01:02:36.000 He was trying not to say like, fucking fags. 1.00

01:02:38.000 Because he's a homophobia. 1.00

01:02:39.000 You're blurry, Ryan. 0.95

01:02:42.000 Let's see you again.

01:02:46.000 Well, now you're behind the camera.

01:02:47.000 I can't see you.

01:02:47.000 Can you see you?

01:02:49.000 Yeah, you're blurry.

01:02:50.000 Your mic is sharp.

01:02:52.000 There we go.

01:02:54.000 Crisp.

01:02:56.000 Let's do a couple feminisms. 1.00

01:02:58.000 I thought this was interesting.

01:03:02.000 Sarah Silverman.

01:03:04.000 Well, give me some sort of thing.

01:03:09.000 Feminism. 1.00

01:03:11.000 I think a woman made that one. 1.00

01:03:13.000 The lady.

01:03:16.000 Sarah Silverman is a woman who might have made a good mom. 0.97

01:03:21.000 Her sister's a Zionist Israeli, which is weird because Sarah seems very anti-Israel.

01:03:27.000 Anyone's dog for a bone. 0.99

01:03:29.000 These ginos are Bolsheviks and they will stab their own people in the back, including their own sister, to look cool and pro-underdog. 1.00

01:03:39.000 Her sister is a prominent Israeli activist, but she has tons of beautiful children. 0.97

01:03:44.000 And Sarah's auntie, Sarah.

01:03:46.000 Now, all these aunties, they must go home after playing with the kids and go, my life is vacuous. 1.00

01:03:54.000 I fucked up. 0.99

01:03:56.000 I have nothing. 1.00

01:03:57.000 Right?

01:03:58.000 How do you play with little kids with your DNA?

01:04:01.000 So she's looking at what her kids would be.

01:04:04.000 They probably look exactly like her.

01:04:05.000 They got her big weird nostrils and everything. 0.98

01:04:08.000 And she's like, those kids are going to grow up, love their mother, while I get more and more alone.

01:04:15.000 I actually had this argument with her not too long ago.

01:04:17.000 She checked in about six months ago, and I was drunk. 1.00

01:04:23.000 And I said, you fucked up your whole life. 1.00

01:04:25.000 Jimmy Kimmel should have knocked you up. 1.00

01:04:27.000 Someone should have put a ring on it. 0.99

01:04:29.000 Even that dork Sam Cedar shouldn't adopt you. 0.79

01:04:33.000 And she goes, what are you talking about? 0.94

01:04:34.000 I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life.

01:04:37.000 Yeah, that's because you don't know what joy is.

01:04:40.000 And then it's still haunting her.

01:04:44.000 Go ahead.

01:04:45.000 There's something about being a woman that has no children, who's decided to not have children, or decided not to get married, or just hasn't gotten married or have children. 0.98

01:05:00.000 That people will...

01:05:01.000 Yeah, you didn't decide not to get married.

01:05:04.000 This is exactly like Jen Kirkman. 0.97

01:05:07.000 Every stand-up routine, she talks about how happy she is to be divorced and how it's awesome, and how she doesn't even want to be married, and how it's really great being single.

01:05:16.000 And I actually like it a lot.

01:05:17.000 And people feel sorry for me, and I don't know why, because I want to be single.

01:05:22.000 It's my choice.

01:05:23.000 I love it.

01:05:24.000 Oh my God, kids?

01:05:25.000 No, thank you.

01:05:26.000 Ew, gross.

01:05:28.000 And you go, okay, calm down. 0.95

01:05:31.000 I came here to hear jokes.

01:05:33.000 I don't need you to be defensive.

01:05:36.000 Feel sorry for us.

01:05:38.000 There's like an odd kind of condescension where they feel threatened by our choices.

01:05:44.000 I love this stuff.

01:05:46.000 This is like Bill Schultz telling me that the reason I encourage people like him to get married is because I'm jealous. 0.99

01:05:53.000 And I wish I could be a lonely drunk living in a one-bedroom apartment by myself, getting fucked out of my mind every night. 0.99

01:06:03.000 Oh, if only. 0.98

01:06:04.000 Like you want to share your joy.

01:06:06.000 That's what I was doing on Fox News with Tamara Holder.

01:06:09.000 I was trying to share my joy.

01:06:11.000 It's nothing in it for me.

01:06:12.000 I don't get any bonuses, but I put off kids for way too long.

01:06:16.000 I don't want you to make the same mistakes.

01:06:18.000 I know Sarah is funny.

01:06:20.000 Whatever you think of her, she's a funny person.

01:06:23.000 And funny moms make great moms. 1.00

01:06:26.000 Now, I did notice one time we went out and we were out of pot, and I've never seen someone more sullen in my life.

01:06:34.000 Like no smiles, staring straight ahead, shittiest mood ever.

01:06:39.000 I was with David Cross, and eventually I just leaned over to him. 0.99

01:06:41.000 I go, let's get the fuck out of here, man. 0.98

01:06:43.000 This is a bummer. 0.98

01:06:45.000 Like, I only get so many nights out a week.

01:06:48.000 I'm in New York City.

01:06:49.000 I'm single. 0.99

01:06:50.000 Like, let's go have some fucking fun. 0.99

01:06:52.000 I don't want to be around Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. 1.00

01:06:57.000 So maybe that's why she'd be a bad mom. 0.91

01:06:59.000 Maybe she suffers from depression. 0.99

01:07:01.000 But when I've had good times with her, they've been fucking amazing times, super fun times, which means great mom. 0.99

01:07:08.000 And she's had all these relationships where she just gets fucking thrown out to the curb, kicked to the curb. 1.00

01:07:16.000 Threatened by our choices and maybe what they did. 0.98

01:07:20.000 How am I threatened by you not having kids?

01:07:24.000 Your kid's clearly going to be a left-wing activist, so that's a bigger threat to me. 1.00

01:07:28.000 If we're talking about like the culture wars, ideally I want your bloodline to end because you personally are a fucking nut. 1.00

01:07:39.000 Maybe they did what they thought they were supposed to do. 0.99

01:07:43.000 Or it's, you know, a sincere belief like, oh my God, I mean, I can't imagine not having my family.

01:07:49.000 Like, what would I do?

01:07:50.000 They center me.

01:07:52.000 They make me less selfish.

01:07:56.000 You know, I get it.

01:07:57.000 Okay.

01:07:57.000 Isn't it funny how when a liberal comes up with the idea that maybe you're telling the truth, they're sort of, they think they're being really open-minded?

01:08:05.000 Maybe these people are being honest.

01:08:08.000 Oh, wow.

01:08:08.000 Thank you.

01:08:09.000 That's nice.

01:08:10.000 That's your experience.

01:08:12.000 It doesn't mean that it's my experience because it's not my experience.

01:08:16.000 You can't put what makes you happy onto other people.

01:08:21.000 People go, oh, I'm normal because I made these normal or traditional choices and this other person didn't do the same.

01:08:30.000 So stop, stop.

01:08:32.000 Having kids is like having a car.

01:08:35.000 You can have a crazy car.

01:08:38.000 You can have a Volkswagen Beetle.

01:08:41.000 Why don't you have an RV and your kids can live in it? 0.99

01:08:44.000 All we're saying is stop walking, stop riding your bicycle.

01:08:48.000 You can get really far on this thing called a car. 0.97

01:08:51.000 There's even these things called highways where you can go to fucking New York City to Montreal in six hours. 0.88

01:08:58.000 It's amazing. 0.95

01:09:00.000 And they go, yeah, for you, that's your choice.

01:09:03.000 I don't like being in a car.

01:09:05.000 I don't like a normal car like a Ford Tourist.

01:09:07.000 Okay, get a motorcycle. 0.78

01:09:11.000 You can still be crazy with kids.

01:09:13.000 You could travel the world with kids.

01:09:15.000 So we're not trying to make your life boring and normal and traditional.

01:09:19.000 You can still be a kook. 0.87

01:09:20.000 Plenty of people raise their kids in New York City.

01:09:23.000 I don't condone it, but they can still be kooks.

01:09:27.000 You still have tattoos when you're a parent.

01:09:30.000 It's okay, Sarah.

01:09:31.000 You can still be weird.

01:09:33.000 Not their only time.

01:09:37.000 Sorry for them, or I get to look down on them.

01:09:41.000 But what people think of you is irrelevant and vice versa.

01:09:44.000 Correct.

01:09:46.000 Why are you bringing this up?

01:09:47.000 I think we've all, most of us, have let major life choices get decided for us based on just what society has told us is normal.

01:10:00.000 What society has told us we must normalize.

01:10:02.000 Stop.

01:10:02.000 It's not society.

01:10:03.000 It's hundreds of thousands of years of evolution.

01:10:06.000 It's what connects us to humanity.

01:10:08.000 We also eat because it's what's normal.

01:10:12.000 Why do people eat?

01:10:13.000 Because everyone else is eating and they want to feel normal?

01:10:15.000 No, because they genetically crave it.

01:10:17.000 It's natural to be hungry.

01:10:19.000 That's how we process food.

01:10:20.000 And it's the same with the propagation of the species.

01:10:22.000 It's a natural feeling that these feminists, these nuts, and these liberals have managed to push out of their DNA. 1.00

01:10:30.000 And then they become fucking miserable. 1.00

01:10:34.000 Who live whole lives that way? 1.00

01:10:36.000 There are gay people that live lives as straight people. 1.00

01:10:40.000 Yeah, they're a perversion. 0.99

01:10:42.000 Because they just don't even realize they... 0.94

01:10:44.000 Oh my God.

01:10:45.000 We're going to have to end this soon, but isn't it interesting?

01:10:47.000 Comedians are the most lonely people in the world.

01:10:51.000 They travel in a, for the most part, in a Honda Civic, coast to coast. 1.00

01:10:56.000 They fuck random chicks at best. 1.00

01:10:59.000 They jerk off with their permission in front of them. 1.00

01:11:04.000 And their job is to tell us how to live. 1.00

01:11:07.000 They're manic depressives. 1.00

01:11:08.000 They're on Xanax and what a Prozac and all this shit. 1.00

01:11:14.000 They all are either severe alcoholics or they're AA. 0.99

01:11:20.000 And they tell us how to live our lives.

01:11:24.000 It's really amazing that the people with the worst life are telling you how to improve yours.

01:11:30.000 No.

01:11:32.000 Sorry.

01:11:33.000 Let's let her finish. 1.00

01:11:38.000 What happened?

01:11:42.000 Look at her wisdom.

01:11:45.000 Like, she's got her lone.

01:11:46.000 Her only love is a dog.

01:11:48.000 And they keep dying of old age, so she keeps getting new ones.

01:11:55.000 Realize that we can and we must curate our own lives based on our own wants, on our own tastes, our own desires. 1.00

01:12:09.000 You know, I fuck it. 1.00

01:12:10.000 I love kids. 1.00

01:12:11.000 I'd probably be a good mom, too.

01:12:13.000 Oh, here we go.

01:12:14.000 I don't want one.

01:12:16.000 It's not personal to children.

01:12:18.000 It's personal to me.

01:12:19.000 That's personal.

01:12:20.000 Do me a favor.

01:12:21.000 Click the link in my bio.

01:12:23.000 Oh, my God.

01:12:23.000 I love child.

01:12:24.000 It's me.

01:12:25.000 I'd probably be a great mom, but I don't want one.

01:12:29.000 Yeah, you don't want one because you don't have a husband who said, I love you forever.

01:12:32.000 Can we be married?

01:12:34.000 How many proposals have you rejected, Sarah?

01:12:36.000 None. 0.99

01:12:37.000 Dude, I would be a fucking awesome motorcycle racer. 0.99

01:12:40.000 I just don't want a motorcycle. 0.99

01:12:43.000 You know I would be wheeling.

01:12:44.000 Oh my God.

01:12:45.000 Ryan was talking yesterday about getting a scooter.

01:12:47.000 Why did I even bring that up?

01:12:49.000 It's enough that I allow you to wear crocs to work.

01:12:51.000 Show everyone your shoes. 0.94

01:13:00.000 Have you noticed in the black community, I assume it's New York City too, but in the Bronx, all black people are wearing crocs. 1.00

01:13:08.000 Crocs or you got the regular sliders with slides with socks, of course. 0.96

01:13:13.000 Slides with socks drives me insane.

01:13:16.000 I hate seeing their little toes go like that every time they take a step.

01:13:19.000 Because they have to hold the flip-flop on.

01:13:22.000 Oh, yeah, and it's dirty.

01:13:23.000 And there's, you know, you want, you step in a puddle.

01:13:27.000 But crocs are worse.

01:13:28.000 Crocs with socks, too, and little widgets on.

01:13:31.000 Like couples. 0.73

01:13:32.000 This morning I saw a black woman wearing that shower cap thing and her boyfriend and they're both wearing crocs. 1.00

01:13:40.000 What?

01:13:41.000 I think I blame the pandemic because people have been home bodies for so long, they dress like they're at a sleepover now.

01:13:51.000 All right, last one.

01:13:51.000 Let's look at this teacher.

01:13:53.000 This woman is a teacher. 0.98

01:13:54.000 These are the people who don't want you to watch them at work.

01:14:00.000 I couldn't imagine having a meltdown like this.

01:14:02.000 Maybe if my family was killed or something. 0.96

01:14:05.000 And even then, I would look back and go, wow, was I ever fucking lost? 0.97

01:14:09.000 You've seen this before, but it's, this is what feminism has done to women. 1.00

01:14:15.000 They didn't do this in the 60s and 70s and 80s.

01:14:19.000 Not even in the 90s.

01:14:27.000 You keep lying, saying I'm threatening you, so I'm recording to protect myself.

01:14:35.000 This reminds me of, stop for a sec.

01:14:38.000 When Faith Goldie was spotted at a restaurant bar in Toronto, a woman did this and said there's a racist here. 1.00

01:14:44.000 She didn't recognize Faith Goldie.

01:14:47.000 Someone had just told her that Faith Goldie's there and she's racist. 1.00

01:14:51.000 So the rumor of an unknown racist in the restaurant made her collapse to the ground. 0.96

01:15:00.000 Can you piss that one? 1.00

01:15:01.000 Get her fuck away! 1.00

01:15:05.000 Get her what? 1.00

01:15:11.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:15:13.000 Crazy lady. 1.00

01:15:15.000 Then she attacked me and try to say I attacked her. 0.99

01:15:17.000 You come.

01:15:19.000 Get her away from me. 0.90

01:15:20.000 Y'all better get this lady. 1.00

01:15:22.000 Get her away from me. 0.90

01:15:25.000 The aggressive victim. 1.00

01:15:32.000 Can you even conceive of losing your shit that much? 1.00

01:15:36.000 I have been mad and said fuck and punched a hole in the wall. 1.00

01:15:41.000 But like, jiggling? 1.00

01:15:45.000 Couldn't imagine being jiggling mad.

01:15:47.000 I'm jiggling mad.

01:15:49.000 I was absolutely jiggling when I found out.

01:15:54.000 But that's not a figure of speech.

01:15:56.000 He's actually jiggling.

01:15:57.000 I was jiggling.

01:15:58.000 Alright, let's get to the mailbag.

01:16:01.000 Okey-dokey. 1.00

01:16:07.000 Ryan, shut up. 1.00

01:16:09.000 You don't have a dad. 1.00

01:16:12.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

01:16:17.000 Let me touch it. 1.00

01:16:23.000 Ryan, shut up. 0.98

01:16:28.000 Jesus, since we started the show, as we've been filming, we have about six new emails. 0.98

01:16:38.000 Like, I started your sensor to try to get some of this going.

01:16:43.000 Who's calling?

01:16:44.000 Oh, my God, it's Mercedes again.

01:16:47.000 So, what are we doing?

01:16:49.000 Come on, lady. 1.00

01:16:52.000 I mean, I have the live Chiron set to take her call. 0.99

01:16:59.000 Hey, Gavin, Loose Lips, McCanis, why did you publicly show that video of Ryan's girlfriend hitting him when you had explicitly promised him you wouldn't?

01:17:07.000 Is your tendency to start to snitch after a few beers why so many people around you are in jail?

01:17:12.000 Whoa, that's an heady allegation.

01:17:15.000 So I got Max and John in prison by being a snitch?

01:17:18.000 Is that what you're saying? 0.99

01:17:20.000 It wasn't the camera footage of them fighting in the fucking crazy clown world we live in? 0.99

01:17:26.000 I didn't mind that video being shot. 0.99

01:17:28.000 I mean, one of my friends was like, hey, wow, I feel bad.

01:17:31.000 I'm sorry.

01:17:32.000 That happened.

01:17:33.000 And I was like, what?

01:17:34.000 He's like, I just watched Anthony's show.

01:17:35.000 I was like, okay, what happened?

01:17:37.000 He's like, he showed the video of your girlfriend.

01:17:39.000 Still blurry. 1.00

01:17:40.000 You still suck. 1.00

01:17:40.000 Why can't you work your camera, dude? 1.00

01:17:42.000 There we go.

01:17:44.000 And I was like, no, he shows that video to everybody.

01:17:46.000 It's fine.

01:17:47.000 Well, the good thing about it is if any rumors start about you being a domestic abuser, people can see what really happened.

01:17:55.000 I'm not one for caring about rumors, but it is a bad look.

01:17:57.000 Like, it's always disgusting when you hear a woman hitter or like watching sopranos. 1.00

01:18:02.000 Like people that swipe at chicks are like, whoa. 0.99

01:18:04.000 But this goes back to what we were saying before.

01:18:06.000 It's not a thing.

01:18:07.000 Right. 0.90

01:18:08.000 The whole, like, it's, it's definitely a problem in the Latino community with illegal aliens and Mexicans. 1.00

01:18:14.000 But as far as like, where the fuck is my dinner? 1.00

01:18:18.000 That's not a thing. 0.98

01:18:19.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99

01:18:19.000 And when Anthony was going through that shit, I was offended that would people believe it because I would never hang out with someone who beat their girlfriend. 0.99

01:18:28.000 So you're insulting me. 0.99

01:18:30.000 Like, the implication is that me, you, Pat Dixon, fucking, what's his name there? 0.99

01:18:35.000 Joe Curry, we're all, when he comes home and he's smacking her around, what are we doing? 0.98

01:18:39.000 Just sort of like sipping our beers, looking down at the ground? 1.00

01:18:42.000 Like, she fucked up. 1.00

01:18:44.000 I mean, his dinner's not ready. 1.00

01:18:46.000 It's not wrong. 0.84

01:18:47.000 That doesn't mean you don't use your strength to stop somebody from attacking you.

01:18:54.000 Because I've been in a situation where, obviously, where there's a lot of violence coming my way.

01:18:58.000 And you have to do something about it.

01:19:00.000 You can't just be hit.

01:19:01.000 I have the 12-hit.

01:19:02.000 I'm not denying.

01:19:03.000 I don't even do the 12-hit rule.

01:19:05.000 You just restrain.

01:19:06.000 I'm stronger than you. 0.97

01:19:07.000 I could tear you apart.

01:19:08.000 Don't.

01:19:10.000 I'm not saying domestic abuse doesn't exist.

01:19:12.000 It does.

01:19:13.000 It's mostly a Mexican problem. 0.99

01:19:15.000 It's a black problem. 0.98

01:19:16.000 It tends to be a disproportionately less white problem. 0.99

01:19:20.000 But in my 50 years, I've never known of one guy, whether I found out later or anything, who was like, where are the fucks my dinner? 0.99

01:19:31.000 And we just slap a bitch around just because he's in a bad mood. 1.00

01:19:35.000 Never heard of it once. 0.99

01:19:36.000 I've heard of crazy fights where both sides were bloodied and he's all scratched up and she got slapped around.

01:19:43.000 I've heard of that, not even that much.

01:19:45.000 But as far as like the 1950s Guido archetype with the wife beater. 0.99

01:19:50.000 What the fuck did you say? 0.99

01:19:52.000 Why are you looking at him? 1.00

01:19:54.000 Maybe that's just coming on my life.

01:19:56.000 Maybe I'm too bourgeois.

01:19:58.000 Have you come across that?

01:20:00.000 A guy who swatted around his girlfriend?

01:20:03.000 I think there was a little...

01:20:06.000 Yeah, back in the day, you'd maybe see or hear about that.

01:20:10.000 Are you thinking of a specific guy right now?

01:20:17.000 Yeah.

01:20:18.000 It's like, you know, I don't know what the context was, but here's the context. 0.99

01:20:22.000 Why the fuck were you talking to him? 0.98

01:20:25.000 Yeah, I think I might have been in another room and heard that and been like this. 1.00

01:20:32.000 Being a pussy and letting a woman get the shit beaten out of me? 1.00

01:20:34.000 Well, I'm like six. 1.00

01:20:36.000 Oh. 1.00

01:20:36.000 So yeah, I'm not going to go in and be like, hey, get that shit out of here. 1.00

01:20:40.000 So you don't know. 1.00

01:20:40.000 If you're a little kid, then you don't know the story. 1.00

01:20:42.000 Yeah, that seems very old school, but I remember hearing a woman get hit as a kid.

01:20:48.000 Who was the woman? 1.00

01:20:48.000 Your bitch mom who wouldn't keep her yap shut? 1.00

01:20:51.000 Could have been. 1.00

01:20:52.000 Maybe I hit her. 1.00

01:20:52.000 Maybe I was. 1.00

01:20:54.000 To be fair, your mom does do a lot of this. 0.91

01:20:57.000 She does run off at the yap.

01:21:02.000 From a woman watching the live show, dude's been in prison a lot.

01:21:07.000 Do you let him in your house?

01:21:09.000 Well, yeah, he hasn't been in prison for molesting children.

01:21:13.000 We don't have any drugs or guns in the house.

01:21:15.000 And he's been loyal to his friends.

01:21:18.000 Never has he been, like, not a loyal person.

01:21:21.000 So, you know, just don't be his opposition and you're good.

01:21:26.000 Dear Gavin and Rygai, Gavin's theory that quarantine is going to cause immune deficiency is completely correct.

01:21:31.000 See article.

01:21:32.000 And then he clicks to The Guardian, which New Zealand children falling ill in high numbers due to COVID immunity debt.

01:21:42.000 Doctors say children haven't been exposed to a range of bugs due to lockdowns, distancing, and sanitizer, and their immune systems are suffering. 0.99

01:21:50.000 Jesus fucking Christ, Mercedes. 1.00

01:21:54.000 She calls me like 10 times a day. 1.00

01:21:57.000 She likes you.

01:22:04.000 Wait, I should make these blue.

01:22:07.000 If I've read them, they're blue.

01:22:08.000 If I like them, they're red.

01:22:10.000 If they're nothing, they're nothing.

01:22:16.000 The OG G-O-M-L. 1.00

01:22:17.000 Hey, Gavin and Ryan, see attached piece of artwork.

01:22:19.000 I call it the original Get Off My Lawn. 0.99

01:22:26.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

01:22:27.000 We got to get that framed in our house. 1.00

01:22:30.000 It's pretty good. 1.00

01:22:32.000 We have a lot of Indian shit in our house. 1.00

01:22:34.000 If you came to our house, you'd think you're at a powwow. 1.00

01:22:37.000 And then in the dining room, there's a picture of the fall of Fort DeQuesne with like British people being murdered and Indians and French in the trees.

01:22:47.000 And even my mother-in-law, who's 100% Indian, goes, it's a little extreme for a dining room painting, is it not? 0.56

01:22:55.000 It's the most appetizing.

01:22:56.000 Yeah, they're like, ah!

01:22:58.000 And there's a British guy falling off a horse going, ah.

01:23:02.000 There's just like a cookie jar of peyote.

01:23:05.000 You're just like, have some.

01:23:07.000 Your triumph.

01:23:08.000 Gavin, you are right.

01:23:09.000 On your bike, the air box is made to look like the carbs on the old school Bonneville.

01:23:13.000 It is fuel injection.

01:23:15.000 My uncle has a T120, and it is that way.

01:23:18.000 There may be a way for you to adjust your idle still.

01:23:20.000 There is.

01:23:21.000 This is the part I don't get.

01:23:22.000 They say it's fake, and then I can adjust my idle.

01:23:25.000 You can hear it.

01:23:29.000 But usually with fuel injection, that's all computer ran.

01:23:31.000 If your bike is running rough and sits around a lot, you may have a dirty injector.

01:23:34.000 One of my go-to cheap fixes is try running a little bit of sea foam in your gas.

01:23:41.000 No, not actual seafoam from the ocean.

01:23:42.000 It's an engine treatment.

01:23:43.000 It's relatively cheap and it's worked miracles on some bikes I've owned.

01:23:46.000 It could save you a trip to the mechanic.

01:23:48.000 That's a handy tip.

01:23:51.000 Texas surf. 1.00

01:23:52.000 Shoot de boar, shoot to kill. 1.00

01:23:55.000 It is now, it's now just evolved into kill white people. 1.00

01:24:02.000 South African political person calls for supporters to go to Indian areas and white areas and burn them down and kill everyone. 1.00

01:24:08.000 Let's hear his subtle metaphor here. 0.99

01:24:36.000 Hold on, wow.

01:24:37.000 Was that out of context?

01:24:39.000 Because doesn't he say right there, I'm not saying that.

01:24:42.000 That's what they say.

01:24:43.000 Listen.

01:24:51.000 Not me saying that because they say that.

01:24:54.000 So could this be...

01:24:54.000 I mean, we've been Vic Burger up and down.

01:24:57.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:24:58.000 It sounds like the context there totally changes.

01:25:00.000 Yeah, nobody's cheering and dancing.

01:25:02.000 Shoot.

01:25:03.000 They like it more than that.

01:25:04.000 No, it's not real because no one's clapping.

01:25:05.000 We haven't gotten there yet.

01:25:07.000 So we still like it as a song, Kill the White People, but there needs to be a beat. 0.96

01:25:10.000 Hey, Gavaroni and BTS guy.

01:25:13.000 What's that?

01:25:14.000 That's a racist statement because I look like a Korean K-pop boy or something, and BTS is Korean kid.

01:25:20.000 Maddie was touching a bit on West Coast prison structure. 1.00

01:25:22.000 Remind me of this dude's YouTube page.

01:25:24.000 His name is Wes Watson, and he did 10 years in California prisons.

01:25:27.000 He haunts my dreams.

01:25:28.000 My biggest fear is going to prison, and his stories further validate my concerns.

01:25:32.000 Anyway, he breaks down nicely the gang structure and has some crazy stories if you care to check it out.

01:25:37.000 My group, the people I identify with, and if you're white, the people you're rolling with, if you choose to go general population, which is GP in the California prison system, the name of my channel.

01:25:50.000 Why?

01:25:51.000 Because I came in GP and I left GP.

01:25:54.000 We don't talk to PCs.

01:25:56.000 But anyways, this is how it works.

01:25:59.000 You come in, you're gonna be a wood. 0.98

01:26:02.000 You're gonna be part of the wood pile if you're white. 1.00

01:26:06.000 There's no way around it. 0.99

01:26:07.000 I've said it before, you don't have a choice.

01:26:10.000 My dad went into county jail on assault on a police officer.

01:26:14.000 It was a weird ass scenario where he ended up getting assault on a police officer, and he only had to do 60 days from it because they came in his house, kind of fucked him up a little bit, and then he ended up getting a case off it.

01:26:27.000 It was his first case ever, so he ended up being good.

01:26:30.000 But this is a thing.

01:26:32.000 My dad, he went into county jail.

01:26:34.000 They were calling him Clint Eastwood.

01:26:36.000 He's supposed to be calling my dad Clint Eastwood.

01:26:38.000 My dad sits down at the table where he didn't know he was supposed to sit by a black. 1.00

01:26:42.000 And the white boys come up and they're like, hey, Clint, the fuck you doing? 1.00

01:26:45.000 Get over here, man. 1.00

01:26:46.000 You can't sit there.

01:26:47.000 And my dad don't even understand. 1.00

01:26:48.000 He's a construction working hard-ass motherfucker who's just real. 0.99

01:26:52.000 He don't get how the system works. 1.00

01:26:53.000 He don't realize that when he walked in, he walked into a gang.

01:26:57.000 He had no choice.

01:26:59.000 He was going to get down or he was going to get discharged.

01:27:01.000 Dad's kind of naive.

01:27:04.000 Under any circumstances, how could you not sort of suss that out when you walk in?

01:27:07.000 Especially it would have been the 60s, right?

01:27:11.000 Maybe the 70s.

01:27:14.000 Hey, dudes, I have an almost two-year-old boy.

01:27:15.000 My wife is due with our new boy next week, so I have some suggestions for the dude who emailed earlier this week.

01:27:20.000 Yeah, I felt bad when that guy asked because I just have put it out of my mind for eight years, so I've forgotten all the tricks.

01:27:26.000 Like, here's two things that I've since remembered.

01:27:30.000 Be a hypochondriac.

01:27:32.000 You shouldn't be a hyperchondriac when your kid is like four, five, six, seven, and all that.

01:27:38.000 But baby, toddler, anything weird, go have it checked out. 1.00

01:27:44.000 A fever goes a little too long, be a pain in the doctor's ass. 0.99

01:27:49.000 It's worth it. 0.99

01:27:50.000 Don't shrug with kids. 0.93

01:27:53.000 My littler, Johnny, he had a, we went to the hospital in Port Jervis, and my wife changed him, and he had a little abrasion from the diaper on his inner thigh, and he got some fucked up disease that was from a Iraq war vet. 0.98

01:28:09.000 And the disease was so complicated that I had to type it into my phone, like the virus, whatever it was, like it was an internet passcode.

01:28:18.000 It was like Zyclopori Vorkazex 16HB. 0.91

01:28:23.000 And it's like from black scorpions in the Middle East or some shit. 0.96

01:28:26.000 So it got sort of turgid, like a little blister. 0.94

01:28:30.000 And I went into the doctor and I said, hey, he's got a blister here.

01:28:35.000 And I just assumed she'd be like, oh yeah, that's not a problem.

01:28:37.000 She'd like pop it with a sterilized needle and drain it and whatever. 1.00

01:28:39.000 And she goes, oh my God, we're going to ER now.

01:28:42.000 He's going into surgery.

01:28:43.000 What?

01:28:44.000 He went into surgery, like the same room you'd have a heart transplant in with doctors like this all washed up and the shower caps. 0.99

01:28:53.000 My wife, of course, was fucking bawling her eyes out hysterical. 1.00

01:28:56.000 We had the little hair caps too and the robes. 0.99

01:28:59.000 We weren't allowed in the main room, but even to be in the hallway, you had to have all that gear on.

01:29:04.000 And they operated on him.

01:29:05.000 And then they had this cotton swab in it, and a nurse was coming by twice a day to change it out.

01:29:10.000 Now, this was a blister the size, not even as big as a jelly bean, a third of the size of a jelly bean.

01:29:18.000 And he could have died. 0.99

01:29:21.000 So freak the fuck out on everything when they're babies. 0.99

01:29:24.000 Worry. 0.99

01:29:25.000 It's good to worry.

01:29:27.000 The other thing I forgot to mention is the beauty of kids outside of those weird emergencies, like when they get fevers and stuff, is there's only three things that can be wrong.

01:29:36.000 I'm tired, I'm hungry, my diaper's dirty.

01:29:38.000 That's it.

01:29:39.000 So you just check those three things.

01:29:42.000 Now, what if they're tired and you can't get them down?

01:29:44.000 Well, swaddling is crucial to get them to sleep. 0.99

01:29:47.000 Because a really great book you got to read is, oh, fuck, he's French. 1.00

01:29:55.000 I'll dig up his name, Jewish guy. 0.99

01:29:58.000 But his whole thing is like babies come out a trimester early because their heads are so big.

01:30:04.000 A horse comes out, he's ready to rock.

01:30:05.000 He's finished.

01:30:06.000 Babies come out too soon because if we waited four trimesters, the head would be too big to get them out of the hole, which you see in animals like pugs, where they cannot give birth to their own offspring.

01:30:17.000 So they come out early, but you have to mimic the womb. 0.99

01:30:20.000 So you swaddle them so they can't move, and that reminds them of being in the womb.

01:30:25.000 And then the other thing you do is go, shh, shh, shh.

01:30:30.000 And that mimics the sound of the blood and all the juices that were going around their ears when they were in there.

01:30:35.000 So foolproof way to make a kid sleep is you get him in the swaddle and then, and I did this on a plane to Scotland a few times where no tears the entire way.

01:30:45.000 I'd go by the like bathrooms where there's a little area by the emergency exit thing.

01:30:50.000 And I would just hold my kid and just go, shh, shh, shh.

01:30:56.000 Shh.

01:30:57.000 It can take an hour.

01:30:58.000 Think of it as a workout.

01:30:59.000 Worst case scenario, an hour.

01:31:00.000 Usually 10 minutes.

01:31:01.000 Just shh.

01:31:03.000 Shh.

01:31:05.000 Shh.

01:31:06.000 Shh.

01:31:07.000 Bang, she's out. 0.61

01:31:09.000 Now, how delicate is that sleep when they're asleep?

01:31:12.000 They can be woken up pretty easy, or they're heavy sleepers.

01:31:15.000 It depends.

01:31:16.000 It's weird because as they get older, they become rocks.

01:31:19.000 I've had arguments with my wife with my son sleeping there, and he doesn't wake up.

01:31:24.000 Wow.

01:31:26.000 You can talk like this around sleeping kids, but babies are different. 0.96

01:31:29.000 Their sleep's a little more fragile, which is why you get so fucking pissed if a motorcycle or a car with no mufflers goes outside and you're just like, hope you enjoyed your cool badass ride, dude. 0.95

01:31:42.000 I'm the aunt angry.

01:31:46.000 So this guy's got some suggestions.

01:31:48.000 Apart from diapers, pacifiers, wipes, and other obvious baby needs, taggies are a huge hit.

01:31:54.000 Just Google them.

01:31:55.000 Swaddles with Velcro to keep them tight are good for sleeping in.

01:31:58.000 What are taggies?

01:31:59.000 I don't remember taggies.

01:32:01.000 Do you remember taggies?

01:32:03.000 No.

01:32:04.000 Well, you should be looking them up rather than showing a letter I'm already reading.

01:32:07.000 I'm literally Googling them.

01:32:08.000 I already got them.

01:32:09.000 I'm gitterly loogling them.

01:32:11.000 Oh, it's like a little thing to play with.

01:32:13.000 Yeah.

01:32:14.000 By the way, people have sent stuff, and I'm super duper grateful and very touched by that.

01:32:20.000 And we're going to send out thank you cards to everybody.

01:32:22.000 Like, we got these cute little things.

01:32:24.000 Like, a lot of elephant stuff.

01:32:26.000 She's going to be a little elephant lover girl. 1.00

01:32:29.000 Okay.

01:32:31.000 Swaddles with Velco to keep them tight.

01:32:33.000 A boppy is great to have for holding, feeding the baby.

01:32:37.000 Yeah, I forgot about boppies.

01:32:40.000 They are perfect.

01:32:44.000 A noise machine seems to help them sleep.

01:32:46.000 Boba wrap for mom to carry the baby hands-free.

01:32:50.000 Yeah, you need...

01:32:51.000 I swore before I had kids I would never wear a baby knapsack.

01:32:55.000 I forget what they're called.

01:32:56.000 A baby Bjorn.

01:32:58.000 But you need them.

01:33:00.000 Just give up on being cool.

01:33:02.000 I'm probably forgetting a bunch of things they add.

01:33:08.000 I'm glad your buddy is trying to scare New Yorkers away from Florida, says Mindy.

01:33:12.000 Obviously, I don't want to misinform anyone.

01:33:15.000 So here are two screenshots from Google about New Smyrna's coastal breeze.

01:33:20.000 Florida gets hot, but if you live along the Atlantic coast, you will always get a cool ocean breeze.

01:33:25.000 Do not share this information with anyone.

01:33:28.000 Okay.

01:33:29.000 Show the picture.

01:33:32.000 I was pretty surprised that August has a low of 74.

01:33:35.000 That's New York City.

01:33:38.000 Those temperatures are New York City.

01:33:40.000 In fact, it's 95 today.

01:33:45.000 Interesting.

01:33:46.000 So they try to scare you away.

01:33:49.000 Cracker Barrel Billboard in Florida, our secret ingredient care.

01:33:55.000 Why are they stealing my jokes, Cracker Barrel?

01:34:02.000 Yeah, I already exited.

01:34:06.000 That's funny. 1.00

01:34:07.000 Dear Gavin and Ryga, fuck you. 1.00

01:34:08.000 Also, check out this coffee mug. 1.00

01:34:10.000 It looks like Target Market is basically just Milo. 0.95

01:34:12.000 It's okay to be gay.

01:34:14.000 I love this because it's the okay symbol.

01:34:17.000 I'm buying that mug.

01:34:19.000 Oh, you sent me another thing we never got to.

01:34:22.000 Did you want...

01:34:23.000 What is this biker hat thing?

01:34:24.000 Bicycle film festival?

01:34:26.000 This is what graphic design is.

01:34:27.000 No, I just sent you that personally.

01:34:28.000 Oh, okay.

01:34:29.000 So you could, because your graphic design's terrible.

01:34:31.000 Oh, I see.

01:34:32.000 I was showing you what graphic design looks like when it's good. 0.99

01:34:36.000 It looks like a dick. 0.99

01:34:38.000 Okay. 1.00

01:34:40.000 Then it's a well-designed dick. 0.99

01:34:41.000 You know, phallic symbols are... 0.99

01:34:44.000 You know what I don't like about that shirt?

01:34:45.000 T-shirts should be triangular where everything is centered around the chest and then it tapers down.

01:34:51.000 That's got the center in the middle, which looks good on a poster, but not so much a t-shirt.

01:34:56.000 T-shirts should be high up.

01:34:59.000 The top third should be all the action.

01:35:02.000 We're going to start making lawn signs.

01:35:04.000 I want to have one that's like, puppies are wonderful.

01:35:07.000 Love is kindness.

01:35:09.000 Caring is good.

01:35:11.000 Mean is bad.

01:35:14.000 Hearts are real.

01:35:17.000 Just something.

01:35:17.000 They'll be like, what?

01:35:18.000 Puppies are best friends.

01:35:21.000 Bad grammar and everything?

01:35:22.000 Yeah.

01:35:23.000 That's fantastic.

01:35:28.000 A Wii video for the show.

01:35:30.000 Oh, what's this now?

01:35:31.000 Where are they gone?

01:35:34.000 You don't know?

01:35:35.000 She's hit when she grows old, you can tell.

01:35:38.000 Someone come round and they just ate them all.

01:35:42.000 Someone come around and ate the cakes.

01:35:44.000 Yeah.

01:35:44.000 So someone broke into our home and ate Mr. Kipling's angel slices.

01:35:50.000 Didn't take the TV, didn't take, you know, some jewelry.

01:35:54.000 They took these cakes. 0.90

01:35:58.000 And it was a black man.

01:36:01.000 Where have they gone? 0.92

01:36:02.000 Oh my.

01:36:04.000 Smart, but that's too much.

01:36:09.000 Something I don't get.

01:36:10.000 Good evening, Gavin.

01:36:10.000 Congratulations, Ryan.

01:36:11.000 Something I don't get are guys who say they don't like strip clubs.

01:36:13.000 What's not to like?

01:36:14.000 There's alcohol, and the only woman there are there to entertain you. 1.00

01:36:17.000 Do you think these guys are just virtue signaling?

01:36:19.000 And if they are, these guys probably agree that sex work is real work.

01:36:22.000 What do you think?

01:36:22.000 Like your new sunglasses.

01:36:24.000 I have heard one good argument against strip clubs, which is it makes me, this isn't me, but the guy said it makes me too horny. 1.00

01:36:30.000 And I can't fuck them. 0.99

01:36:31.000 So why am I getting all riled up? 1.00

01:36:33.000 Because it's fun.

01:36:35.000 Sometimes if I'm in a meeting and I'm bored, I might look at porn just to like get the juice.

01:36:41.000 Maybe that's what Jeff, what's his name?

01:36:44.000 Jeffrey Toobin was doing. 0.75

01:36:45.000 He was looking at porn because the meeting was so boring.

01:36:48.000 And then the next thing you know, he got himself all riled up. 1.00

01:36:50.000 Don't jerk off. 0.99

01:36:51.000 But yeah, it's fun to get horny. 1.00

01:36:55.000 It gives you good ideas for what you're going to do to your wife. 0.99

01:36:57.000 That's another shirt.

01:36:58.000 And the thing I liked about strip clubs back when I would go, I can't go now that I have a daughter because all I can think about is her dad and what he did wrong. 0.90

01:37:06.000 But back before I had a daughter, it's just like you're talking to a dude and instead of like a beautiful garden behind you, it's beautiful naked ladies. 0.98

01:37:16.000 What a wonderful thing to be in the background.

01:37:19.000 All right, let's do the final video.

01:37:34.000 Let's go to 2-8 where we see the aforementioned stripper falling from, I'm going to say, 30 feet. 1.00

01:37:44.000 Bent separately.

01:37:46.000 I got it here open up a tie.

01:37:49.000 Play something I'm giving wait wait stop stop stop stop.

01:37:54.000 Oh, that's a fun place.

01:37:55.000 We don't know what's gonna happen.

01:37:57.000 How high do you think that is?

01:37:58.000 10 feet, 20 feet, 30 feet.

01:38:01.000 Yeah.

01:38:03.000 Wow.

01:38:05.000 Plus, they're drunken on Coke.

01:38:11.000 Whoa.

01:38:13.000 So the viewer who sent this in goes, is she just on autopilot and doesn't know where she is?

01:38:20.000 How are you not concussed from that?

01:38:29.000 I'm fine.

01:38:30.000 I'm good. 1.00

01:38:31.000 You're a liar. 1.00

01:38:32.000 It doesn't say that. 0.99

01:38:34.000 One time we were at a strip club, I think I was with a girl too, amongst our crew, and the stripper was kind of a hipster.

01:38:41.000 So she was of our demographic, like with similar tattoos.

01:38:44.000 She's a sister.

01:38:45.000 And it was kind of embarrassing.

01:38:49.000 Like when it's a Puerto Rican single mom, everything's normal. 1.00

01:38:52.000 But when it's one of your people, you go, ooh, you kind of fucked up, didn't you? 1.00

01:38:57.000 And then she just got really shit-faced. 0.99

01:39:00.000 She must have went, oh my God, there's people there that might know people who I know. 0.99

01:39:04.000 So she just started doing shots, and then she was all sloppy and falling all over the place.

01:39:08.000 It was grim.

01:39:09.000 Yeah, that's a better look than just doing what you were doing.

01:39:11.000 Strip clubs are fun, but we don't want the people we love to be strippers. 1.00

01:39:16.000 We don't want that for our girls. 0.99

01:39:17.000 We want our girls to be happy.

01:39:18.000 We want our girls to breed. 1.00

01:39:21.000 We want our girls to experience everything.

01:39:23.000 If our girls are meant to be oncologists or meant to be Kennedy from Fox Business News or meant to be Maggie Thatcher or meant to be Ann Coulter, by all means, go bananas, get out there, conquer the world. 0.97

01:39:37.000 If, however, you represent the other 99.5% of the female population, then we want you to find a man that loves and respects you, is going to treat you right, is never going to cheat on you, is going to kiss you to bed at night.

01:39:50.000 Here's something, by the way, I recommend doing.

01:39:52.000 My screensaver recently is my wife cleaning my ears.

01:39:59.000 And just like I look at it about a thousand times a day because that's what you look at with your phone.

01:40:04.000 It's helped my relationship.

01:40:06.000 It's reminded me how much I love her and how much work she does and how much she has to put up with me.

01:40:13.000 Try it out.

01:40:14.000 Instead of your kids, which everyone else does, make your lock screen you and your wife. 0.80

01:40:20.000 Anyway, that's our ultimate goal with women is to have them fulfilled and happy and not jiggling on the floor because someone's filming them as they have a nervous breakdown because they haven't fulfilled any of their biological needs. 0.92

01:40:33.000 If you're a freak, by all means, pursue freakdom. 0.98

01:40:36.000 But I'm sick of this culture where we force people into freak land when they don't want to be there and they end up lonely and alone, lying on their back, getting boned by some guy who doesn't give a shit about them. 0.99

01:40:51.000 So ladies, if you're 25, start getting serious about who you're dating. 0.98

01:40:56.000 You're running out of time.

01:40:57.000 You don't want your kids to be autistic. 1.00

01:40:59.000 Not that there's anything wrong with Autistic Kids, but old people tend to have them, and they struggle.

01:41:06.000 Get knocked up early.

01:41:07.000 Do what Ryan's doing.

01:41:08.000 Although he should do it in order.

01:41:10.000 Proposal, ring, marriage, baby.

01:41:14.000 Pretty close.

01:41:16.000 I think he went baby.

01:41:17.000 Well, baby will come after the marriage.

01:41:18.000 Ring, proposal, marriage.

01:41:20.000 The baby will come after the marriage, to be fair.

01:41:23.000 We'll see.

01:41:24.000 Yeah.

01:41:25.000 We'll see.

01:41:27.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - July 16, 2021

S04E11 - ADVANCED PHYSICS FOR RETARDS

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