Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S04E171

00:00:14.000 From New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.

00:00:20.000 Oh, yeah.

00:00:21.000 Oh, how do I...

00:00:34.000 The world keeps on spinning, it goes spinning out of control the world keeps on spinning, it goes spinning out of control keeps on spinning, it goes spinning out of control.

00:01:02.000 I discovered that band.

00:01:04.000 The Yayas.

00:01:06.000 That little dude, Nick, who's always hanging around the Lower East Side.

00:01:09.000 Short guy, but he had giant hair.

00:01:12.000 Kind of like Ryan.

00:01:13.000 I guess they do it to add some height.

00:01:15.000 I'm going to be adding some height to my height this winter with my new look, blue-collar chic, it's called.

00:01:23.000 You accuse me of being a blue-collar LARPer.

00:01:25.000 I have a Gucci wallet and a Rolex.

00:01:27.000 I'm not trying to convince people that I'm blue-collar.

00:01:32.000 It's an homage.

00:01:34.000 And in blue-collar chic, the new look I've invented, we have car hearts, but we don't want them broken in.

00:01:40.000 They're brand new.

00:01:41.000 And we have Red Wings, but we get mad if you scuff them.

00:01:44.000 We're high-end blue-collar.

00:01:46.000 Like our boots, Red Wings are $250.

00:01:50.000 Thoroughgoods are $255.

00:01:55.000 Anyway, I thought it was interesting that Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's are back now.

00:01:58.000 They just put out an album in September called Different Today, I think it's called.

00:02:01.000 Or that song's called.

00:02:02.000 No, Cool It Down is the album.

00:02:03.000 Different Today is the song that we just heard.

00:02:07.000 But they were around in the early aughts.

00:02:08.000 Feist sort of put them on the map.

00:02:11.000 And they had an incredible career.

00:02:13.000 And then, boo, poof.

00:02:15.000 I think Karen O is a little cuckoo.

00:02:18.000 Cuckoo.

00:02:18.000 And then they were gone.

00:02:21.000 More like the no-no-nos.

00:02:22.000 And you go, okay, well, you're done then.

00:02:23.000 And then they come back and they have an awesome album, just exactly like the strokes.

00:02:27.000 They vanished.

00:02:27.000 Albert Hammond did too much heroin.

00:02:30.000 They vanished.

00:02:31.000 That's it.

00:02:31.000 They're relegated to the legacy of the early aughts.

00:02:33.000 And then, boom, they're bizack.

00:02:36.000 That's impressive.

00:02:37.000 I'm impressed.

00:02:38.000 One time I was at a bar.

00:02:41.000 It was called 2A on 2nd and A. I was in a bad mood because some fucking millennial was there.

00:02:48.000 And he brought flip-flops out for the night, which I'm already mad.

00:02:52.000 And then he took his foot out and he sort of hooked it on.

00:02:56.000 Upstairs, there was these tables you sat at, these big square tables, more of a lounge.

00:03:00.000 Then downstairs was more of a bar.

00:03:02.000 It was a great bar.

00:03:03.000 Wonder if it's still around.

00:03:04.000 Great bar.

00:03:05.000 Great bar.

00:03:06.000 Not gonna lie, frankly.

00:03:08.000 And so we're up in the lounge area.

00:03:09.000 Kareno is very famous at the time.

00:03:11.000 She's very hot, so she's getting harassed a lot.

00:03:14.000 Not in a bad way, but like, hey, I wanted you to hear my demo, whatever.

00:03:17.000 So this guy's there, and one of the low tables has a long sort of support beam across it, right?

00:03:23.000 And he picks up his toes and he hooks it on there like a monkey.

00:03:30.000 So then I see someone, and she's sitting on one of those tables, same tables.

00:03:34.000 It might have been the same night, I'm not sure.

00:03:36.000 And there's some guy sitting down and he's bothering her, and she wants to talk.

00:03:38.000 She's really into her stylist.

00:03:40.000 Her name was Joy.

00:03:41.000 I think they're still very close.

00:03:42.000 And you can tell she just wants to hang out with her friend.

00:03:44.000 And this guy sits with her, and I'm just like, what an annoying twat.

00:03:48.000 Just leave her be, dude.

00:03:50.000 And then being the chivalrous guy I am, I took the lemon out of my margarita, and I aimed it.

00:03:59.000 He was only about five feet away.

00:04:00.000 I just went, boom.

00:04:02.000 Got fired suspects down.

00:04:05.000 Exactly.

00:04:06.000 I got it onto his eye ball.

00:04:08.000 What the fuck?

00:04:09.000 There was no blink, no time to blink.

00:04:11.000 I covered his eyeball with lemon.

00:04:13.000 And he just goes, ah!

00:04:15.000 Ah!

00:04:16.000 Ow!

00:04:18.000 Ah!

00:04:21.000 I maced him.

00:04:22.000 I maced him with organic mace.

00:04:25.000 And then she was all, oh my God, Larry, are you okay?

00:04:28.000 Whatever his name was.

00:04:29.000 It was her friend.

00:04:30.000 He wasn't harassing her, Gavin.

00:04:32.000 And then joy comes over.

00:04:35.000 Or maybe her name's Faith.

00:04:36.000 I don't fucking know.

00:04:37.000 And she goes, did you just throw a lemon in Mark's eye?

00:04:40.000 And I just ignore I'm talking to someone.

00:04:43.000 She was kind of a cunt.

00:04:44.000 What?

00:04:45.000 And she goes, hey, Gavin, I'm talking to you.

00:04:48.000 Did you just throw a lemon in Mark's eye?

00:04:50.000 And eventually I just go, yeah, I did.

00:04:53.000 And if you don't shut up, I'm going to throw a lemon in your eye.

00:04:59.000 Classic G-Dog.

00:05:02.000 Those were good days.

00:05:03.000 And then from then on, me and Joy were arch enemies by SARS.

00:05:07.000 She'd be like, there's Gavin, my favorite person.

00:05:09.000 Pissed off that I tried to save Karen's life.

00:05:14.000 So anyway, the Yayas are awesome.

00:05:15.000 That's a good intro song.

00:05:17.000 But there are no steel beans.

00:05:20.000 Just discovered this guy over the weekend.

00:05:22.000 You can look him up.

00:05:22.000 He's big on Instagram.

00:05:24.000 Steel is in Strong Stuff.

00:05:25.000 Beans is in the delicious fart food.

00:05:28.000 Oh, that reminds me, before we discuss this, I almost got in a fart fight.

00:05:33.000 Fart fight.

00:05:34.000 Fart fight.

00:05:35.000 Would have been my first.

00:05:37.000 First fart fight.

00:05:38.000 Maybe ever.

00:05:39.000 No, there's probably been many.

00:05:41.000 There's probably been thousands of fights.

00:05:43.000 Isn't that fight?

00:05:43.000 It's technically a food fight.

00:05:46.000 It's called a post-food fight.

00:05:48.000 Yeah.

00:05:48.000 The food's already been digested.

00:05:50.000 But so I go out after the show on Thursday night.

00:05:55.000 I'm celebrating.

00:05:57.000 And you can't go to bed after you do a show.

00:05:59.000 You're all pumped up.

00:06:00.000 Same with waitresses.

00:06:01.000 Talk to anyone in the service industry, which is what this is.

00:06:04.000 You got to sort of wind down a bit.

00:06:06.000 And I made the mistake.

00:06:06.000 My wife made this insane beef stew with Guinness in it and then biscuits to dip in the gravy.

00:06:13.000 I couldn't stop.

00:06:14.000 So I was this turgid sphere like brew cassalt all day.

00:06:19.000 Every burp was barf.

00:06:21.000 I stuffed my face like an animal.

00:06:24.000 You know how dogs will die if you feed them too much?

00:06:27.000 That's what it was.

00:06:29.000 So I'm Letting out some toots.

00:06:32.000 And I get to the bar.

00:06:34.000 There's a guy there, FDNY shirt.

00:06:35.000 He knows the bartender.

00:06:36.000 I think they might be having an affair.

00:06:38.000 I don't know.

00:06:39.000 And he gets up after I sit down and I'm talking to her and blah, blah, blah.

00:06:44.000 Very jovial kind of vibe.

00:06:46.000 Project Very Test dudes are there and Maddie's there.

00:06:49.000 It's good, good hang.

00:06:51.000 And then that guy's, I see him staring at me.

00:06:53.000 And then he's standing by the doorway like this.

00:06:56.000 He's old.

00:06:57.000 He's about 60.

00:07:00.000 Staring right at me.

00:07:01.000 And I'm like, already?

00:07:02.000 I'll probably just ignore that.

00:07:06.000 And his shirt says FDNY.

00:07:07.000 So he doesn't have a problem with me politically.

00:07:11.000 And so he finally leaves.

00:07:12.000 And then the barmaid comes up to me.

00:07:14.000 She goes, you know, that's my friend.

00:07:17.000 I go, yeah, I know.

00:07:17.000 He drives you here, right?

00:07:19.000 Yeah, he was really mad at you.

00:07:20.000 Why?

00:07:21.000 Because he said you farted, and it made him have to move.

00:07:25.000 So he probably, this is what must have happened.

00:07:27.000 I come in, let out a piece of cobalt, which, by the way, Ryan and my shit and piss smells like cobalt to us.

00:07:34.000 That's correct.

00:07:35.000 I don't think it does to anyone else.

00:07:36.000 That's a good point.

00:07:37.000 So when we go, oh, no one will know I just farted.

00:07:40.000 It smells like burnt steel.

00:07:41.000 They're like, no, that's shit.

00:07:44.000 He doesn't like you.

00:07:45.000 I'm sorry.

00:07:48.000 I don't like you either.

00:07:50.000 That's like a night in Glasgow.

00:07:52.000 So he probably, he smells and he goes, for fuck's sakes.

00:07:57.000 Then he gets up and then he's leaving.

00:07:58.000 He's probably like, why am I leaving?

00:07:59.000 Why am I being punished for that asshole's asshole?

00:08:04.000 And then he said, I'm going to fucking fight him.

00:08:07.000 And then he was staring at me.

00:08:08.000 And then he probably went, Andy, what are you doing?

00:08:12.000 So the show's barely begun.

00:08:13.000 I've already got two times.

00:08:15.000 Some shit almost went down.

00:08:17.000 Anyway, here's some real shit going down with Steel Beans and his one-man band called Steel Beans.

00:08:22.000 Steel Beans

00:08:52.000 Steel Beans So you're probably way better than that, right, Ryan?

00:09:01.000 No, that guy rules.

00:09:04.000 Is he strumming with his right hand?

00:09:06.000 I think so, yeah.

00:09:11.000 What a genius.

00:09:14.000 Like, if Beethoven was in a time machine, he'd come here and go, Nope, bed, milk, bed.

00:09:21.000 Jet fuel does not melt those steel beans.

00:09:25.000 I dreamt a joke last night.

00:09:27.000 Oh?

00:09:28.000 You know what?

00:09:29.000 I did some variation on the boner.

00:09:32.000 I was like, sad mushroom.

00:09:34.000 It's weird that he's uncircumcised.

00:09:35.000 He probably is circumcised.

00:09:37.000 But I thought, I have to stay true to the dream.

00:09:41.000 Oh, you're not editing the joke?

00:09:42.000 I'm not editing.

00:09:43.000 This is the corest, purest form.

00:09:44.000 This was the first draft.

00:09:46.000 Because I thought it was funny to have a semi-erect penis look like a sad clansman, but you'd need a foreskin for that to be true.

00:09:53.000 So I just gave him a foreskin in the joke.

00:09:56.000 And I thought, uncircumcised BTW is a very funny way to put it.

00:10:02.000 Oh, shit.

00:10:04.000 I sent you the wrong thing.

00:10:05.000 No, go to my getter.

00:10:07.000 It's the most recent getter.

00:10:10.000 Get her done.

00:10:12.000 Get her done!

00:10:19.000 I thought, should you, I thought, do you include this joke?

00:10:22.000 This is all going on in a, not completely a sleep state, but pretty much a sleep state.

00:10:26.000 Do you include just a random picture of him, which is what I sent you in the notes here?

00:10:30.000 Or I thought it'd be funnier to include an article about him turning 98 because...

00:10:39.000 No, go to the getter.

00:10:42.000 Jimmy Carter complains of, quote, almost non-existent sex life and says his boners resemble a, quote, depressed Klansman.

00:10:51.000 And then he's uncircumcised, BTW.

00:10:55.000 Now, of course, the article doesn't mention anything.

00:10:58.000 I like that.

00:10:59.000 That's a great format going forward.

00:11:02.000 Fake news.

00:11:03.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:11:03.000 You just pull quotes from an article that doesn't exist.

00:11:09.000 Holy shit.

00:11:10.000 I was considering just sending you the picture.

00:11:11.000 That was what 13 was when I first thought of this.

00:11:14.000 Yeah.

00:11:15.000 That's also very funny, too, because the wife's like, yep, not happening.

00:11:20.000 Very boring rallies going on in my old push.

00:11:24.000 He's 98.

00:11:25.000 She's 93, 95.

00:11:27.000 Cradle robber.

00:11:28.000 But I'm the bad guy for dating a 15-year-old when I was 18.

00:11:32.000 Right?

00:11:32.000 It doesn't make any sense.

00:11:34.000 Bullcrap.

00:11:36.000 I'm a paralegal, by the way.

00:11:38.000 I'm working on Joe Biggs's case, going to be testifying.

00:11:41.000 Been slaving over the legal documents, trying to understand their crazy language, just in case you're curious.

00:11:50.000 And then last on the important news, I told you that being a dad to teenagers is like being a corrections officer.

00:11:58.000 There's some shit going down with Laundry Gate.

00:12:02.000 And I have to solve it.

00:12:03.000 I remember David Sedaris, I think it was in Naked, one of his books, he talks about him and his wonderful sister, Amy Sedaris.

00:12:11.000 They noticed there was shit on the towels, a little shit streak that kept repeating.

00:12:16.000 And they decided they had to get to the bottom of this.

00:12:20.000 So David and Amy, I can't remember if they recruited their mom or not, started this investigative thing, watching who has a shower what, monitoring the towels before and after, and they found out who wasn't cleaning their ass well enough and then wiping it on the towel.

00:12:38.000 I have to do something similar with laundry.

00:12:41.000 This boy of mine is, no, he's not shitting on towels.

00:12:45.000 He is doing like a laundry a day.

00:12:48.000 I always see him running downstairs to the laundry.

00:12:50.000 And every time I check it, I pull out the dryer and it's full.

00:12:55.000 Now, my initial theory is, there's just one thing that's bothering me.

00:13:03.000 I think that he has his favorite shirt or shirts, maybe three shirts, and he does a laundry just for them.

00:13:11.000 Right?

00:13:12.000 But if I open the dryer and there's just one shirt there, there's going to be hell to pay.

00:13:15.000 Especially because our fucking Con Ed bill was $50 a day this year.

00:13:22.000 Yes, you heard me, right?

00:13:23.000 Don't say it's my house.

00:13:24.000 It's $30 here in the studio.

00:13:26.000 It's New York Lunacy and Con Ed.

00:13:30.000 So my new theory is I think he's putting in extra laundry.

00:13:37.000 He's taking clean laundry and throwing it in with his t-shirt so he can have a full load.

00:13:43.000 Yeah, maybe.

00:13:45.000 So I now have to examine, I have to maybe lock the laundry room door and inspect laundry as it comes in.

00:13:52.000 Maybe even photograph it and make sure I'm not seeing the same thing coming in.

00:13:56.000 Because I caught him about two weeks ago where he goes, yeah, I used to do tons of laundry back then because I only had two pairs of socks.

00:14:05.000 We can get you more socks.

00:14:07.000 At $50 a day, it's a good investment.

00:14:10.000 I don't want to be a narc, but it's not like weed, right?

00:14:13.000 Where he's like trying to get rid of the weed smell.

00:14:16.000 I never thought of that.

00:14:17.000 But athletes usually don't smoke weed.

00:14:19.000 Yeah, he's a jock.

00:14:24.000 And you would smell it.

00:14:26.000 You would have come across it already.

00:14:29.000 I don't know.

00:14:30.000 I think my daughter may have gotten away with some weed in the house.

00:14:33.000 They'd use the vape they blew out the window.

00:14:35.000 Oh, yeah, those pens are tricky now.

00:14:37.000 Wow.

00:14:39.000 So I'll keep you posted on Laundry Gate, but I have to get to the bottom of this.

00:14:43.000 Because there is constantly laundry going.

00:14:45.000 And I told you, I don't do laundry at the house.

00:14:47.000 I bring it to the Chinaman.

00:14:49.000 Just dropped off a huge bag, nine bucks.

00:14:52.000 And when I get it back, it's all folded.

00:14:54.000 It's never mixed up with any of my families.

00:14:56.000 I don't have to worry about that.

00:14:58.000 It's done the way I like it.

00:15:00.000 Nothing weird.

00:15:04.000 You should consider.

00:15:05.000 No, you shouldn't consider that.

00:15:07.000 I found some sprinkles on the World Wide Web.

00:15:11.000 Now, this isn't particularly hilarious, this girl.

00:15:15.000 I'm not saying check out this unbelievable joke.

00:15:18.000 This is not witty.

00:15:19.000 You just get the vibe from her that she has it.

00:15:22.000 She has what it is.

00:15:24.000 Yes.

00:15:25.000 Where is he at?

00:15:26.000 Not here.

00:15:27.000 He's not in New York.

00:15:28.000 Oh, we're at long distance?

00:15:30.000 Yeah.

00:15:31.000 Oh, that's going to work out.

00:15:32.000 It's a nice tent open, so like...

00:15:40.000 Oh, no, it's really going to work out.

00:15:46.000 Oh my God.

00:15:46.000 How much longer do you think are you going to go?

00:15:50.000 Open date.

00:15:51.000 Open.

00:15:53.000 Open to date.

00:15:54.000 Hey, any single guys in here tonight?

00:15:56.000 Neil is open to date.

00:15:58.000 She's pretty much single.

00:16:02.000 See what I mean?

00:16:03.000 Like the way she laughs at her own jokes and says, pretty much single?

00:16:07.000 You can zoom out so people can look her up.

00:16:09.000 This is what I mean by sprinkles.

00:16:11.000 I'm not saying here's the most hilarious joke ever made.

00:16:14.000 I'm saying here's someone that I can tell has the talent.

00:16:18.000 She's just got what it takes.

00:16:20.000 And even if she didn't have good material, I can tell it's going to be there.

00:16:24.000 Like, what's this one?

00:16:25.000 Random check.

00:16:26.000 Throwing the dart at El, what's her name?

00:16:29.000 Elle Orlando?

00:16:29.000 Ellie Orlando.

00:16:30.000 What's up, people?

00:16:32.000 Bunger, no, as they say.

00:16:35.000 I have a comedy show, okay?

00:16:38.000 It's called LOL Comedy.

00:16:39.000 The next one is next Tuesday, October 11th.

00:16:43.000 It's actually what I wanted to choose.

00:16:45.000 It's an announcement for a show.

00:16:47.000 So a thing I've done on TikTok for a little bit now is do like hinge roasts.

00:16:54.000 So if you want me to review or roast your hinge, you can just send it like screenshots to Roast My Hinge.

00:17:04.000 I shouldn't have done that.

00:17:05.000 Roast my hinge.

00:17:06.000 Roast my hinge.

00:17:08.000 God, I'm old.

00:17:08.000 Everything sounds like fucking Chinese to me.

00:17:12.000 And then, of course, we got to mention Trevor Noah is gone.

00:17:16.000 Left the Daily Show.

00:17:17.000 Does he know he failed?

00:17:19.000 I always wonder this about people who fail.

00:17:21.000 Do they know they failed?

00:17:23.000 You got the Daily Show because some stupid liberal white women were running Comedy Central and they wanted an international flavor.

00:17:32.000 So they chose you because you're black, not a normal black.

00:17:37.000 They can say African.

00:17:39.000 You had done stand-up, I don't know, three or four times, and they thought this is perfect.

00:17:44.000 They didn't look at your comedy.

00:17:46.000 They looked at your race, your cultural background, your pedigree, and then they chose you.

00:17:52.000 And you did the show and slowly killed it.

00:17:55.000 From 1.3 million to 300,000, which by any stretch of the imagination is fucking pathetic.

00:18:02.000 What do you think?

00:18:03.000 Does he know?

00:18:04.000 Oh, well, I don't really care.

00:18:06.000 I maybe should have included that in shit I don't care about.

00:18:09.000 So let's bring on the floating turd and talk about some shit that I don't care about.

00:18:17.000 Shit I don't fucking care about.

00:18:19.000 Shit I totally don't even care about.

00:18:21.000 Shit I don't care about.

00:18:26.000 So the hot chick that we were simping on keeps coming back from the viewers.

00:18:33.000 They know her name now.

00:18:34.000 Apparently she is the GF of Steve Will Do It.

00:18:40.000 Now you're a dork, Ryan.

00:18:41.000 You probably know who Steve Will Do It is.

00:18:43.000 I actually don't.

00:18:44.000 Oh, really?

00:18:44.000 Good.

00:18:45.000 I'm proud of you.

00:18:45.000 Thanks.

00:18:46.000 He seems to be some piece of shit like fitness bra.

00:18:51.000 Here's a painful interview with some muscular guy, Logan Paul type of dude.

00:18:57.000 You must know this guy.

00:19:00.000 That guy I don't know.

00:19:01.000 The Logan Paul guys I know.

00:19:04.000 Well, duh.

00:19:05.000 Steve's in the background.

00:19:06.000 So that's her.

00:19:07.000 He's over here.

00:19:08.000 Oh, really?

00:19:08.000 Yeah.

00:19:10.000 Her name is Celia.

00:19:13.000 Selena Smith.

00:19:14.000 Selena Smith.

00:19:17.000 So sh, no, I think I said that she looks like some whore.

00:19:23.000 Selena.

00:19:24.000 Was it Selena Gomez who had the red hair at the time?

00:19:26.000 No, Ariana Grande.

00:19:27.000 Ariana Grande.

00:19:28.000 Yes, that bitch.

00:19:29.000 So I said that.

00:19:31.000 Did you?

00:19:32.000 I had red-ass hair.

00:19:33.000 And I said, I liked it.

00:19:34.000 And then she said something like, text me sometime or something.

00:19:37.000 At 14.

00:19:38.000 At 14, what kind of phones were you guys texting on?

00:19:40.000 He was into self-care at 14 years old.

00:19:42.000 Yeah, he like always did face masks and stuff.

00:19:45.000 He always did face masks.

00:19:46.000 And his mom loved to give him face masks as gifts.

00:19:49.000 He was doing things.

00:19:50.000 I want a new Holocaust.

00:19:51.000 It's so funny because of all young people.

00:19:54.000 And obviously, I want to get into more about your guys' relationship.

00:19:56.000 It's you in general, but he's one of the most ironically because I'm going to see him as like.

00:20:02.000 So this interview is one of the most painful and boring interviews I've ever deigned to look at.

00:20:07.000 Even what the fuck is a dumb fireplace?

00:20:09.000 It's a wood stove surrounded by drywall, surrounded by brick.

00:20:12.000 What?

00:20:14.000 Here's the most replayed.

00:20:15.000 It's all good.

00:20:16.000 It'll be easy for you.

00:20:17.000 Go to get roman.com slash check out 7.

00:20:22.000 Where is it now?

00:20:23.000 718.

00:20:24.000 She talks about her OnlyFans.

00:20:25.000 She goes, OnlyFans is really cool.

00:20:26.000 It's not just what you think.

00:20:28.000 I mean, people use it for cooking, all kinds of stuff.

00:20:30.000 And he goes, what do you use it for?

00:20:32.000 And she goes, I show my tits.

00:20:34.000 I just have a lot.

00:20:36.000 I'm like topless.

00:20:37.000 Wait, go back.

00:20:38.000 Go back a little bit.

00:20:40.000 And they don't do anything explicit.

00:20:41.000 Like, it's just photos that girls are already posting on Instagram.

00:20:46.000 Yeah.

00:20:47.000 So what do you think about the stigma around it?

00:20:49.000 I mean, I think that it's for anyone.

00:20:51.000 Like, you can make of it whatever you want to.

00:20:54.000 Like, you don't have to show anything if you don't want to.

00:20:56.000 She's speaking out of her eyes, dude.

00:20:58.000 Give her a break.

00:20:59.000 Welcome to the show.

00:21:01.000 Like, cooking shows.

00:21:03.000 You can do so many different things on OnlyFans.

00:21:05.000 Oh, good.

00:21:06.000 What do you do on OnlyFans?

00:21:09.000 I just have a lot.

00:21:11.000 I'm like topless and I do videos.

00:21:13.000 You do topless shit.

00:21:14.000 Yeah.

00:21:15.000 Oh, shit.

00:21:15.000 I found them.

00:21:16.000 Do you want to see her holy moly?

00:21:17.000 Fuck.

00:21:18.000 That's dope.

00:21:18.000 I didn't know that.

00:21:19.000 Yeah.

00:21:20.000 I have been since the start, though.

00:21:21.000 I think I've been seeing OnlyFans for like two years now.

00:21:23.000 I know everyone is probably thinking that they're like, fuck you, you scumbout.

00:21:26.000 You for sure already subscribed, but I actually have never done that.

00:21:29.000 I've never subscribed to Celina's OnlyFans.

00:21:31.000 Oh my God.

00:21:32.000 This is the stupid community.

00:21:34.000 You want to see the tits or no?

00:21:35.000 Sure.

00:21:36.000 Okay.

00:21:36.000 This is not safe for work.

00:21:39.000 So stop it.

00:21:41.000 These are her.

00:21:44.000 Are they fake pajums?

00:21:46.000 Yeah, they're looking pretty fake.

00:21:47.000 They're real pajums.

00:21:48.000 Well, there's no scarring anywhere.

00:21:49.000 They're really...

00:21:54.000 I like that they don't get along.

00:21:56.000 Now they're getting along.

00:21:57.000 I guess she doesn't have to have any kind of an IQ with tits like this.

00:21:59.000 Wait a minute.

00:22:00.000 Did I see a scar?

00:22:03.000 I don't know.

00:22:04.000 And her boyfriend, of course, Steve Will Do It, is you know how recently we were talking about how I want to meet a Biden fan.

00:22:10.000 I'm not even mad.

00:22:11.000 I want to look at you.

00:22:13.000 I want to prod you with a stick.

00:22:15.000 And here he is talking about his various cars.

00:22:19.000 Yeah, I don't care.

00:22:21.000 Biden 2024 with a rainbow flag.

00:22:24.000 That's got to be a joke.

00:22:26.000 I don't think so.

00:22:27.000 Bro, it's hard for me to fucking get mad at anything right now.

00:22:30.000 I do have like seven other cars, so.

00:22:33.000 Yeah, I mean, I'll just, my life sucks.

00:22:35.000 I just gotta drive a Ferrari or the Rolls Royce or the McLaren or the Supra.

00:22:39.000 But yeah, I mean, fuck, how do you feel?

00:22:41.000 You have a Lamborghini and a Tesla.

00:22:42.000 I feel pretty good.

00:22:44.000 I won't like drive it too far.

00:22:46.000 I won't drive the Lambo too far.

00:22:47.000 I'll take it to like Pilates, your house and back.

00:22:50.000 But this car might have to go see my side guys in this car.

00:22:54.000 You got guys on the side?

00:22:55.000 No.

00:22:57.000 What up, you guys?

00:22:58.000 Thank you so much for watching my YouTube video.

00:23:01.000 Last video, I said that I was going to announce a winner-the wins.

00:23:04.000 I don't care.

00:23:04.000 I've had enough of this.

00:23:05.000 I can't believe I looked at all this shit.

00:23:06.000 I feel dirty.

00:23:08.000 Speaking of dirty, Ryan has recorded a segment that he wants to show us about his lunch.

00:23:14.000 Yes.

00:23:15.000 This is something I really, really don't care about.

00:23:18.000 Oh, that's where you're putting this.

00:23:20.000 That hurts.

00:23:21.000 What did you think it was going to be?

00:23:22.000 At the Sundance Film Festival?

00:23:24.000 Maybe.

00:23:26.000 My headphones on.

00:23:31.000 Okay, this is already great.

00:23:32.000 My sauce is all prepared.

00:23:35.000 What kind of sauces did you put?

00:23:37.000 I actually keep Chick-fil-A sauce.

00:23:39.000 Well, I go into it.

00:23:40.000 I explain.

00:23:41.000 All right, guys, what is popping?

00:23:42.000 We are here with the very exclusive, brand new.

00:23:46.000 These just dropped today, these bad boys.

00:23:48.000 Let me give a little spin.

00:23:50.000 Let me give another little spin.

00:23:51.000 You already know what it is here.

00:23:56.000 So this comes with a toy.

00:23:59.000 This is for adults.

00:24:00.000 This was $12.95.

00:24:02.000 And there's two options.

00:24:04.000 Either a Big Mac or 10-piece nugs.

00:24:07.000 I got the Big Mac.

00:24:10.000 Why?

00:24:10.000 Because Nugs sounds like Niggas?

00:24:11.000 Because their nuggets are mysterious and strange.

00:24:13.000 Nuggets are mysterious and strange.

00:24:14.000 So, oh, they don't even show you what...

00:24:20.000 They don't show you what toy you got.

00:24:22.000 It feels like the Cactus Buddy.

00:24:26.000 Which is a new guy.

00:24:29.000 So who is this company that did that box?

00:24:32.000 They're called Cactus Something Flea Market.

00:24:38.000 And Kanye likes their stuff.

00:24:40.000 They make hoodies and merch.

00:24:41.000 They're like a hype beast brand.

00:24:43.000 What's Hype Beast mean?

00:24:44.000 Like, you know, like Balenciaga for Supreme.

00:24:49.000 They're like in the vein of Supreme.

00:24:51.000 Balenciaga.

00:24:52.000 Balenciaga is like a high-end Saint-Rom, brand.

00:24:55.000 But they're a rapper-hyped brand, basically.

00:24:58.000 Balenciaga would be just some boring designer brand that only rich people buy.

00:25:01.000 But now youngsters want to buy them because rappers.

00:25:04.000 I remember them making me wait till after I eat to get the toy.

00:25:07.000 It is the Cactus Buddy.

00:25:09.000 Wow.

00:25:09.000 It's pretty premium looking.

00:25:11.000 It's a two-piecer.

00:25:13.000 So they molded one side, molded the other side, put it together so it's hollow.

00:25:18.000 Not super premium, but like the paint's very nice.

00:25:22.000 Like the beta.

00:25:23.000 It looks like it's made of clay almost.

00:25:27.000 They have Grimace.

00:25:28.000 They don't have Roddle back the bottom.

00:25:30.000 My kids got one.

00:25:31.000 They got the Grimace?

00:25:32.000 They got Grimace.

00:25:33.000 That one's apparently going to have resale value.

00:25:34.000 Oh, Grim.

00:25:35.000 I can't wait to get on eBay.

00:25:36.000 So that's that.

00:25:37.000 Head to the post office.

00:25:38.000 The rest of the meeting fucking Grimace all bubble-wrapped in, selling it to Denver, Colorado.

00:25:43.000 So that's basically it.

00:25:45.000 I take a couple of bites, and now it's on my shelf.

00:25:49.000 Oh, too bad it's not on my care.

00:25:51.000 Look.

00:25:53.000 This is Ethan trying to be funny with Liver King.

00:25:56.000 And it not going very well for him.

00:25:59.000 Ethan Klein, of course.

00:26:00.000 Ethan Klein.

00:26:01.000 You'll notice whenever he's nervous, his twitches really start going.

00:26:04.000 Any kind of confrontation, it's chaos.

00:26:09.000 It's eyebrow chaos.

00:26:10.000 Do you have to have sex in a certain position?

00:26:13.000 Because you're so big, and sometimes fat guys have a problem.

00:26:17.000 They have to go into a certain position.

00:26:19.000 I mean, you're massive, right?

00:26:22.000 And also, I don't know how well endowed you are, but like, what's the situation with your, what position do you have to go in a position?

00:26:29.000 Are you guys fully flexible?

00:26:31.000 Because you're both very muscular.

00:26:32.000 Yeah.

00:26:34.000 Here's the thing.

00:26:35.000 Never talk about my wife in this context.

00:26:40.000 I got it kind of a bummer.

00:26:42.000 He diffuses it immediately and is like, but all seriously, all serious.

00:26:46.000 All jokes aside.

00:26:48.000 So he was fucking with him.

00:26:49.000 And I wanted that to be truer, but unfortunately.

00:26:53.000 Unfortunately, they broke down.

00:26:55.000 Did you do a mailbag of Liver King?

00:26:57.000 I did.

00:26:58.000 All right.

00:26:58.000 Well, thanks for wrecking that bit.

00:26:59.000 That was awesome.

00:27:00.000 I think the world should know.

00:27:01.000 Because Liver King is a pushover.

00:27:04.000 He only alpha that one guy from Barstool who asked all those weird questions with a bolo.

00:27:08.000 He's really short?

00:27:09.000 He looks like your height.

00:27:10.000 He is.

00:27:10.000 Well.

00:27:11.000 Find out what's primal and what's subprimal.

00:27:13.000 Hey, do you live here?

00:27:14.000 So this is a guy who goes around confronting people on their steroid usage.

00:27:19.000 So he's like afraid to meet him, but he's like pretending he's so pumped to meet him.

00:27:23.000 He's like, dude, what's going on, man?

00:27:26.000 Has he called out Liver King before?

00:27:28.000 Oh, yeah.

00:27:28.000 You know, somebody showed me a video when you said, hey, I'll play my own way.

00:27:34.000 You come to adrenaline off the charts.

00:27:38.000 I'll go to your house.

00:27:40.000 And if any of this stuff is true, if you really sleep on the wood, if you really eat this weight, I'll retract all my other videos.

00:27:46.000 And I'm like, why would I want him to retract the videos?

00:27:49.000 He's talking about Liverkick.

00:27:50.000 By the way, I want you to meet the queen.

00:27:54.000 Trying to like warm up to him.

00:27:55.000 Here's my family.

00:27:56.000 And then where are the liver boys at?

00:27:59.000 Stratfara!

00:28:00.000 I saw him back there, bro.

00:28:00.000 I can spot yourself.

00:28:01.000 Katras over here.

00:28:03.000 Kenny, K!

00:28:04.000 Oh, right here.

00:28:06.000 Say hi to the guy.

00:28:08.000 This is so awkward.

00:28:09.000 Young prodigies.

00:28:10.000 Are you guys on Trent as well?

00:28:12.000 Not to say it's true.

00:28:14.000 I always say it all the time.

00:28:15.000 It's not even a joke.

00:28:16.000 The frims are over and we get water, right?

00:28:18.000 And I'm like, hey, you guys know what's in the water?

00:28:20.000 Yeah, that was...

00:28:26.000 Some sort of anabolic steroids, for sure.

00:28:28.000 But he's not hiding it.

00:28:29.000 Deca or Trent?

00:28:29.000 No, he lies about it all the time.

00:28:31.000 He says it's all natural.

00:28:33.000 Oh.

00:28:33.000 And how do you know he's lying?

00:28:35.000 I mean, he is.

00:28:37.000 Like, a body doesn't look that way.

00:28:39.000 I don't care how much liver you eat.

00:28:40.000 And like his protruding gut like that, Weck pointed out that that's because of doing steroids, like Joe Rogan has it too.

00:28:48.000 It expands your guts, basically.

00:28:51.000 And so that's a telltale sign, also the hypervascularity and some other features.

00:28:56.000 More stuff I don't care about.

00:28:57.000 Well, this is kind of weird.

00:28:59.000 I didn't care about Coolio dying.

00:29:00.000 Whatever.

00:29:01.000 Of course he's dead.

00:29:02.000 DMX.

00:29:03.000 Old black guy has money.

00:29:04.000 They died.

00:29:07.000 But now I do kind of care because allegedly he had been approached by some big rap stars who wanted him to S their D. How a couple of, I'm not going to say no names, but some big, big top, top hats of the industry were coming at him.

00:29:29.000 Is that a phrase?

00:29:30.000 I don't think so.

00:29:31.000 I think it's like Wild Wild West.

00:29:33.000 Top hat.

00:29:33.000 He heard top.

00:29:34.000 He knows this term top hat.

00:29:36.000 He's top of mind.

00:29:37.000 He could have said top guns, top of mind.

00:29:40.000 By the way, we're coming to him asking for sex.

00:29:43.000 You know?

00:29:44.000 They were coming at him, talking about some child trafficking stuff.

00:29:51.000 We were going to expose it all.

00:29:52.000 There's a lot of shit I know that I want to tell people.

00:29:54.000 I can't believe they got the real guy from SpongeBob, the burger episode.

00:29:58.000 There's Ryan and his child references.

00:30:00.000 It's a good reference.

00:30:01.000 Things I want to teach, but I'm afraid.

00:30:03.000 I'm going to be honest with you.

00:30:03.000 I'm scared because I got four grandchildren.

00:30:07.000 And I got children that are in this world.

00:30:10.000 I got people I care about.

00:30:12.000 And I got people that I care about that don't necessarily believe what I believe.

00:30:19.000 And I'm not.

00:30:21.000 I have no fear of death.

00:30:23.000 And I think that those that would oppose my beliefs, they've probably done enough.

00:30:36.000 If somebody's after me or if somebody's watching me, then they know enough about me to know that I have no fear of death.

00:30:44.000 So killing me don't mean shit.

00:30:47.000 It just confirms that what I said was true.

00:30:51.000 But I do have a fear of them hurting my family.

00:30:56.000 So I'm cared about certain things.

00:30:58.000 I would just like to make it clear that I am scared of death and I don't want to die and I especially don't want my family hurt, but I don't want to get hurt either.

00:31:05.000 Correct.

00:31:10.000 Big top hats there.

00:31:11.000 And then the final thing I don't care about, of course, is a woman who couldn't shit in India because she's kind of hung up about it.

00:31:20.000 I love this.

00:31:21.000 You're familiar with it?

00:31:22.000 I am, and I like it.

00:31:24.000 It's a good song.

00:31:27.000 was doing this all day on a Saturday with my wife.

00:31:30.000 The thing about me is that when I was 10, I went to India to visit my family.

00:31:36.000 And when I was 10, I had this problem where I refused to shit outside my own house.

00:31:43.000 Lots of people like that.

00:31:44.000 Julie, I do have this problem.

00:31:47.000 But that's not the point.

00:31:49.000 So let's get back to it.

00:31:52.000 So, because I refused to shit, I didn't.

00:31:58.000 And then one day I really didn't shit.

00:32:02.000 I went to the toilet of my friend Mum's mouth and I tried to chip.

00:32:07.000 But what happened was I couldn't shit because I was cutting painted.

00:32:13.000 And I was in a lot of pain.

00:32:15.000 So I screamed for my mom.

00:32:18.000 And she came in and she took a piece of paint.

00:32:22.000 But it's not damaged.

00:32:23.000 It's hard to do that long.

00:32:25.000 It's actually kind of impressive.

00:32:33.000 Stop for a second here.

00:32:35.000 I'm sorry to gross everyone out at home, especially if you're having this around dinner time.

00:32:38.000 But this reminds me of Whitney Houston.

00:32:42.000 If you recall, what's his name?

00:32:46.000 Eddie B. The reality show she had.

00:32:49.000 She was so constipated, I assume from opioids.

00:32:51.000 Oh, yeah.

00:32:52.000 too much heroin, and she couldn't get the...

00:32:58.000 Yes.

00:32:58.000 The aptly named Bobby Brown.

00:33:00.000 The epitomeist Bobby Brown.

00:33:02.000 And he went into her butthole.

00:33:05.000 And I don't think you can pull out a shit.

00:33:06.000 That's not how it works.

00:33:07.000 But you could probably get your finger in there and like rack out a few popcorns.

00:33:12.000 And that's what she did.

00:33:13.000 That's what he did for her.

00:33:15.000 Doodoo butt.

00:33:15.000 Doodoo bubbles or something she said?

00:33:18.000 Doodoo bubble.

00:33:18.000 And then she pointed out that that's true love.

00:33:21.000 That is true love.

00:33:23.000 And America flew the flags at the White House at half-mast when she OD'd because we live in a country that has forgone Christianity and replaced it with worshiping black people, especially black women.

00:33:38.000 So they can do disgusting garbage like this, and people are like, yeah, that's great.

00:33:44.000 I love it.

00:33:44.000 It works.

00:33:45.000 I'm going to dig a doodoo bubble out of your butt.

00:33:49.000 Okay.

00:33:50.000 All right.

00:33:51.000 He's tripping.

00:33:54.000 I'm about to drop it on the board.

00:34:00.000 That turtle was too big.

00:34:04.000 Come out of the butt and she couldn't get it out.

00:34:07.000 And I had to help her.

00:34:08.000 Nothing worked.

00:34:11.000 She couldn't put me playing it right here.

00:34:13.000 America's princess died.

00:34:14.000 Oh, thank God.

00:34:15.000 My sisters are going, that's love.

00:34:17.000 That's love.

00:34:18.000 That's love.

00:34:19.000 Black love.

00:34:20.000 Black love.

00:34:23.000 Anyway, let's get back to the dancing shitmonger.

00:34:27.000 Can't you just go shit out on the road?

00:34:31.000 After pulling out my shit, I still had to shit even more.

00:34:38.000 So what I did was squeeze even harder.

00:34:42.000 But it was not enough to get the shit out.

00:34:46.000 So my family decided to go to a hospital and see a doctor.

00:34:52.000 So yes, we went to a hospital.

00:34:56.000 But because I had shit a little before, my ass was dirty and full of shit.

00:35:03.000 So when I put my pants, it was also full of shit.

00:35:07.000 But that's okay.

00:35:08.000 So I went to the doctor and she said, oh, I have to inject something up your ass.

00:35:15.000 And I said, okay, fine.

00:35:18.000 So she injected something up my ass.

00:35:21.000 And then the injection made me want to shit even more.

00:35:26.000 And then I asked her, can I use the toilet?

00:35:30.000 And she said, okay, sure.

00:35:33.000 But then her toilet was the most freaking disgusting thing I ever seen.

00:35:39.000 But then I was so urgent to shit.

00:35:43.000 Then I didn't care.

00:35:45.000 But when I...

00:35:47.000 It cuts off.

00:35:49.000 What's the end of the story?

00:35:52.000 I know.

00:35:52.000 Is there another one?

00:35:54.000 If you follow that user?

00:35:56.000 Oh, God.

00:35:57.000 Thank you.

00:35:58.000 God, you're dumb.

00:35:59.000 It's a separate video.

00:36:01.000 Then I didn't care.

00:36:03.000 But when I went to shit, it still didn't want to come out.

00:36:09.000 So my mom propped me up on the toilet and pushed my stomach while I took a shit.

00:36:15.000 After 13 freaking minutes, the shit finally came out.

00:36:23.000 Good story.

00:36:27.000 Do you have a shit story?

00:36:28.000 No?

00:36:30.000 Oh.

00:36:31.000 But I am sick of all of this disgusting garbage that we started the show with.

00:36:37.000 We should do something serious.

00:36:39.000 For a change.

00:36:39.000 And get rid of I don't care about.

00:36:40.000 Because I want to talk about Putin's speech.

00:36:43.000 I watched it very carefully.

00:36:45.000 And, you know, the translation was fascinating.

00:36:49.000 And I think what he was doing with it was he was combining...

00:36:53.000 Sorry.

00:36:54.000 Truths about America.

00:36:58.000 With myths about America.

00:37:00.000 Selling them like a Trojan horse.

00:37:02.000 And it's a pile of bullshit.

00:37:05.000 But this is kind of hard to articulate.

00:37:09.000 But on the one hand, I get him.

00:37:10.000 And I understand him not wanting Ukraine to get...

00:37:14.000 To become part of NATO.

00:37:15.000 I'm not sure that's 100% of his motive.

00:37:18.000 We tend to sort of impose our own motives onto other people.

00:37:22.000 Like with Osama bin Laden.

00:37:23.000 With 9-11, we said, well, it's our foreign policy in Afghanistan.

00:37:27.000 He said so.

00:37:28.000 That made him mad.

00:37:28.000 No.

00:37:29.000 That's a reasonable explanation.

00:37:32.000 In quotes.

00:37:33.000 He just hates infidels.

00:37:34.000 He hates the evil West.

00:37:36.000 He wanted to hurt Americans.

00:37:37.000 And he got us where it counts in our pocketbook in the World Trade Center.

00:37:41.000 That's all.

00:37:42.000 Don't give these people too much credit.

00:37:44.000 So this whole like, oh, he's just mad about NATO.

00:37:47.000 And if he wouldn't...

00:37:48.000 Yeah, that's us giving him a good reason.

00:37:50.000 He saw the West being weak.

00:37:53.000 And he thought, this is a good time for me to get some fucking land.

00:38:00.000 And NATO sounds good.

00:38:01.000 And I thought this came across in his speech, which wasn't really much about Ukraine.

00:38:05.000 Did you see it?

00:38:09.000 I saw some of it, actually.

00:38:12.000 Yeah.

00:38:12.000 And I think it went a little something like this.

00:38:17.000 What the hell?

00:38:19.000 The problem with Russia versus the West is very simple.

00:38:23.000 The West is very greedy and seeks to enslave and colonize other nations like us.

00:38:29.000 Russia.

00:38:30.000 The West uses power of finance and technology to enforce its will on other nations.

00:38:37.000 To collect hegemons tax.

00:38:39.000 The...

00:38:40.000 To the...

00:38:41.000 Stop.

00:38:42.000 What?

00:38:43.000 Hegemons tax?

00:38:46.000 you're calling us a hegemony yes and you're saying we dominate the world then we charge taxes so we're the colonists first of all Britain were the colonists we didn't do much what what what did we colonize the American Virgin Islands from the Native Americans, you colonized, you know.

00:39:02.000 Okay, no one understands that, the least of which is you.

00:39:06.000 We are another tribe, just like many tribes.

00:39:09.000 We're the tribe that won North America.

00:39:12.000 They were all warring.

00:39:13.000 We fought alongside some, against others.

00:39:16.000 We fought tribes on behalf of other tribes.

00:39:19.000 It was a 400-year war, my friend.

00:39:23.000 So, and you're the one, this whole like hegemon's tax, like we're this hegemony that conquers the world and then charges tax.

00:39:34.000 What do you think you do?

00:39:36.000 Well, Russia doesn't have, you know, soldiers deployed all over the world.

00:39:40.000 You have like world police.

00:39:42.000 The polizia did the world.

00:39:43.000 Yeah, we don't really have...

00:39:47.000 We have bases in various countries in the world so we can have better access.

00:39:52.000 Like with Benghazi, we could have used our guys that were in Italy to get down.

00:39:57.000 They were nearby.

00:39:58.000 But we're not roaming the streets of Reggio di Calabria, making sure people don't litter.

00:40:03.000 So that's a straw man again.

00:40:05.000 But I'm sorry.

00:40:06.000 Get back to your speech.

00:40:07.000 Well, basically, to this end, the West destabilizes countries, creates terrorism.

00:40:11.000 No, where's the music?

00:40:14.000 Oh, you did like it?

00:40:15.000 Yeah.

00:40:16.000 Yeah, that's how I prefer to do the speech.

00:40:19.000 Okay, well, here it is.

00:40:21.000 Okay.

00:40:22.000 I'm going to be pausing you when you lie.

00:40:24.000 That's fine.

00:40:25.000 You will not pause me, because I do not lie.

00:40:27.000 Let's see.

00:40:30.000 Okay.

00:40:31.000 To this end, the West destabilizes countries, creates terrorist enclaves, and most of all seeks to deprive other countries of sovereignty.

00:40:42.000 Agreed?

00:40:42.000 No, not agreed.

00:40:44.000 Give me an example.

00:40:45.000 Well, it is this avarice and desire to preserve its power that is the reason for the hybrid war.

00:40:53.000 The collective states West is waging on Russia.

00:40:56.000 They want us to be a colony.

00:41:00.000 They do not want us to be free.

00:41:02.000 They want Russians to be mobs of soulless slaves.

00:41:05.000 I have some bad news for you.

00:41:07.000 We don't want you.

00:41:09.000 We destabilized communism with Reagan and Tear Down That Wall and birthmark head Gorbachev.

00:41:17.000 And then we were happy that capitalism got a stronghold.

00:41:21.000 And we don't consider it a free market now by any means, but it's definitely not communist anymore.

00:41:26.000 So we're happy that you guys are starting to catch up to the free world, but we don't want your shit.

00:41:32.000 It sucks.

00:41:33.000 It's frozen.

00:41:34.000 We don't want you.

00:41:37.000 We want to supply oil.

00:41:38.000 In fact, the less you're involved in other things, the better.

00:41:42.000 And the less we're involved with you, the better.

00:41:44.000 And again, you're not talking to Biden here.

00:41:47.000 I don't want to get involved in Ukraine.

00:41:49.000 You can have that.

00:41:50.000 What is it, Dagenforth?

00:41:52.000 Dagestan.

00:41:52.000 You can have that.

00:41:54.000 Thank you.

00:41:55.000 But this idea that we're Russia, what do you call this?

00:42:00.000 Russophobes?

00:42:01.000 Yeah, Russophobia.

00:42:02.000 And we're trying to take over Russia.

00:42:05.000 Sorry, dude.

00:42:06.000 It's like that fake speech that they did with King Charles where he goes, India, don't worry about it.

00:42:11.000 No one wants you.

00:42:12.000 You're on your own.

00:42:14.000 That's you.

00:42:14.000 No one wants your frozen shithole.

00:42:17.000 Nobody ever gave chance to have the Olympic Games in Russia.

00:42:21.000 We wanted to host the Olympic Games for a long time.

00:42:23.000 I don't care, sure.

00:42:24.000 Go ahead.

00:42:26.000 I'm not sure you could handle the infrastructure, by the way.

00:42:29.000 Of course we could.

00:42:30.000 Yeah, okay.

00:42:31.000 Anyway.

00:42:32.000 Anyway.

00:42:34.000 Okay.

00:42:36.000 Let me get back into it again.

00:42:38.000 I got it, Shan.

00:42:38.000 You got to find your beat.

00:42:39.000 Yes.

00:42:41.000 Okay.

00:42:42.000 Let's bring it back to the beginning.

00:42:47.000 Yeah!

00:42:48.000 The rules-based order the West goes is about is nonsense.

00:42:54.000 Who made these rules?

00:42:56.000 Who agreed to the God?

00:42:59.000 God?

00:43:00.000 Yeah.

00:43:00.000 Our rights come from God.

00:43:03.000 Russia is ancient country and civilization, and we will not play by these rigged rules.

00:43:10.000 Rigged.

00:43:11.000 Whatever.

00:43:11.000 Tomato, tomato.

00:43:12.000 The West has no moral authority to challenge the referendums because it has violated the borders of other countries.

00:43:21.000 Like what?

00:43:23.000 Tons.

00:43:24.000 Name one.

00:43:26.000 What borders have we violated?

00:43:28.000 I don't know.

00:43:28.000 And I noticed, like, you go back to this, these things from, like, the 17th century or something.

00:43:34.000 That's irrelevant.

00:43:35.000 No.

00:43:35.000 America's a brand new country.

00:43:37.000 You can't be bringing up fucking the, what do you call it, the times of trouble when your own ridiculous feudal system collapsed and you all starved.

00:43:45.000 Now that's my fault?

00:43:46.000 Well, that's the point.

00:43:47.000 Russia has a large rich history and you can't, you know, nuke kid on block.

00:43:52.000 You're like a nuke kid block.

00:43:53.000 Marky Mark.

00:43:55.000 Different band.

00:43:56.000 We're the nuke kids on the block.

00:43:58.000 Hey.

00:44:00.000 Watch it.

00:44:00.000 It's pretty good.

00:44:02.000 I thought you were saying, hey, don't bring up nukes or all.

00:44:04.000 That too.

00:44:05.000 Okay.

00:44:06.000 Yeah, but, you know, Western elites, you're all totalitarian.

00:44:10.000 You know what?

00:44:10.000 This reminds me of liberals.

00:44:11.000 And I said this to Glenn Beck when I was down there last week.

00:44:14.000 I was like, can't an allegation be true?

00:44:17.000 Like, give me something concrete that we did wrong because there's plenty of shit America's done wrong.

00:44:22.000 But like, we want to colonize Russia?

00:44:24.000 Yes.

00:44:25.000 Your home, if your lineage goes back to England, most colonization happened.

00:44:33.000 Oh, so now I'm responsible for everything England has done.

00:44:35.000 And that relates to the war now.

00:44:37.000 It runs through your blood.

00:44:38.000 Your flag is same color.

00:44:40.000 It shows.

00:44:41.000 You know what runs through your blood?

00:44:42.000 Vodka.

00:44:43.000 Don't.

00:44:43.000 Okay, that's fine.

00:44:45.000 Anyway, you're despotic and apartheidistic.

00:44:50.000 True.

00:44:50.000 They are racist against Russia and other countries.

00:44:54.000 Did you just say your own speech true?

00:44:57.000 Yeah.

00:44:58.000 So you're reading your own speech and then you go, that's true.

00:45:02.000 Did you write this speech?

00:45:03.000 Yes, of course.

00:45:05.000 But here's the thing.

00:45:06.000 I don't get apartheidistic, which isn't a word, by the way.

00:45:10.000 What are we doing that's apartheidistic?

00:45:12.000 Nowhere on earth are people more free than in America.

00:45:20.000 Go ahead.

00:45:21.000 Okay.

00:45:23.000 Basically, you discriminate and call yourselves the civilized world.

00:45:29.000 You colonize, start a global slave trade, genocided Native Americans, village Indian Africa.

00:45:35.000 We started the global slave trade.

00:45:38.000 He was just getting into roll.

00:45:40.000 America, 1776, dude.

00:45:42.000 Africa, Arabs and Jews started the global slave trade.

00:45:46.000 I'm not even positive about Jews.

00:45:49.000 I've heard that.

00:45:50.000 But definitely Arabs and Africans heavily involved in the global slave trade.

00:45:54.000 We were involved.

00:45:55.000 We came on way late.

00:45:57.000 As Pat Buchanan says, the West did not invent slavery, but the West alone abolished it.

00:46:03.000 So don't fucking bring slavery into this.

00:46:05.000 The slavery shit, the Indian shit, this is like high school liberal crap.

00:46:10.000 Well, how about the fact that you forced China to buy opium through the war?

00:46:15.000 Yes, there you go.

00:46:16.000 Finally, an allegation that has some validity.

00:46:18.000 That was Scotland, by the way.

00:46:20.000 Scotland and England, not America, but I guess it was the West.

00:46:24.000 This is handy where you attack America, but you use the West.

00:46:28.000 So we are the recipients of your allegations, yet the people you're criticizing involve the entire Western world throughout all of Western history.

00:46:34.000 That's very convenient for you.

00:46:36.000 But sure, if I'm defending the West, yeah.

00:46:38.000 We did force the Chinese to use opium.

00:46:41.000 We did destroy them.

00:46:43.000 That's a war.

00:46:44.000 Sorry, they lost.

00:46:45.000 China is their friends.

00:46:47.000 Don't do opium.

00:46:48.000 Well, it's hard not to if it's just around.

00:46:51.000 Yeah, sorry.

00:46:52.000 You ever been to a party and somebody goes to the bathroom and they're like, yeah, you want a little opium?

00:46:55.000 No, thanks.

00:46:56.000 I got to work tomorrow.

00:46:59.000 Anyway, we, on the other hand, are proud that we led the anti-colonial movement that helped countries develop to reduce poverty and inequality.

00:47:11.000 Okay.

00:47:14.000 Is that it?

00:47:14.000 You're done?

00:47:15.000 No, I got more.

00:47:16.000 Just to break down.

00:47:17.000 They are russophobic because we didn't allow our country to be pillaged by creating strong centralized state-based Christianity, Islam, Judaism, and Buddhism.

00:47:29.000 They have been trying to destabilize our country in the 17th century.

00:47:33.000 Hold on, stop.

00:47:35.000 Are you saying that your country was made on Christianity, Judaism, and Buddhism?

00:47:40.000 No.

00:47:41.000 We didn't allow our country to be pillaged by creating a strong centralized state based on those.

00:47:48.000 So you, hold on a sec.

00:47:49.000 So you created a centralized state based on Christianity and Judaism.

00:47:55.000 How long has that shit been legal over there for?

00:47:58.000 Like an hour and a half?

00:47:59.000 And shithead, you're a fucking atheist who left his wife for some teenage slut, abandoned your family.

00:48:08.000 Now you're Mr. Traditional Christian Values guy?

00:48:11.000 First of all, you do not speak of my wife this way.

00:48:14.000 Just kidding.

00:48:15.000 Which one?

00:48:15.000 Just kidding.

00:48:16.000 Oh, Leverking, you see.

00:48:19.000 Anyway.

00:48:22.000 Remember the times of trouble?

00:48:23.000 You've been trying to do this since 17th century in the times of trouble.

00:48:28.000 Times of trouble was all you.

00:48:30.000 Nah, net.

00:48:32.000 Eventually, you managed to get your hands on the riches at the end of the 20th century.

00:48:39.000 They called us friends and partners while pumping out trillions of dollars.

00:48:44.000 No, dude, stop.

00:48:46.000 We got a hold of your riches.

00:48:48.000 How do you think you got rich?

00:48:49.000 You and the oligarchs got rich when the free market opened up when you could finally sell to the world.

00:48:54.000 So you're welcome for that.

00:48:56.000 I got my hand on your riches.

00:48:57.000 No, I paid you for the riches and you got rich.

00:49:00.000 How much are you worth?

00:49:02.000 I think you're way richer than Elon Musk.

00:49:05.000 Yeah.

00:49:06.000 Elon Rusk.

00:49:08.000 Eh, stunk.

00:49:10.000 Okay, you pumped out trillions of dollars and we remember this.

00:49:15.000 We did not forget the West claims to bring freedom and democracy to other countries, but it's the exact opposite of truth.

00:49:25.000 It's true.

00:49:26.000 And the unipolar world is anti-democratic by its very nature.

00:49:33.000 Okay.

00:49:34.000 You disagree?

00:49:35.000 I don't even know what that unipolar world?

00:49:38.000 Yes.

00:49:39.000 So a world that is controlled by one group, it can't be democratic because it's controlled by one group, but we're not trying to control the world.

00:49:46.000 That's a dumb allegation.

00:49:47.000 And if you look at, again, I don't know if I'm defending America or the West in general, but if you look at Britain's colonization, it's been receding.

00:49:56.000 Another piece of red left my atlas today, says Bob Geldoff, as we lose Singapore, Hong Kong's about to go.

00:50:03.000 Australia, Canada.

00:50:05.000 Gone, gone, gone, gone.

00:50:07.000 Well, how about the fact that you used nuclear weapons, creating a precedent?

00:50:12.000 They fled to German cities without any military to do so.

00:50:17.000 Wait, wait, stop.

00:50:18.000 We destroyed German cities without any military need to do so in World War II, I assume you're talking about?

00:50:24.000 Yes.

00:50:26.000 That was you.

00:50:27.000 You destroyed Germany.

00:50:29.000 Russian soldiers were notorious rapists.

00:50:32.000 I think they raped 2 million German women.

00:50:34.000 I mean, you won the war in World War II with your slaughtering.

00:50:37.000 And it was Stalin who was all about destroying Dresden, the bombing of Dresden.

00:50:41.000 Remember Dresden?

00:50:42.000 Where people were jumping into lakes to get away from the fires, but it was so hot the lakes were boiling.

00:50:46.000 So they boiled alive in the lakes.

00:50:48.000 That was Stalin's plan because he wanted to draw the troops east.

00:50:52.000 Okay, so.

00:50:54.000 So to say we are the ones destroying German cities, you were holding our hand and you were in front of us.

00:51:01.000 Not me personally, like the top hats.

00:51:03.000 Stalin.

00:51:03.000 The Soviet Union.

00:51:04.000 Yeah, the top hats at the time.

00:51:07.000 Anyway.

00:51:09.000 You know, there was no need to do that except to scare us in the rest of the world.

00:51:13.000 Korea, we have.

00:51:14.000 You were in World War II on our side.

00:51:16.000 What are you talking about?

00:51:17.000 Well, to this day, they occupy Japan, South Korea, and Germany.

00:51:21.000 How do we occupy Japan?

00:51:24.000 We occupy Japan and North Korea?

00:51:26.000 You have military bands.

00:51:27.000 Germany?

00:51:27.000 Yeah, those are...

00:51:29.000 Think of them as 7-Elevens.

00:51:30.000 I know you already hit that point, but I didn't...

00:51:35.000 Okay, whatever.

00:51:40.000 Yeah.

00:51:40.000 Let's just...

00:51:44.000 Okay.

00:51:46.000 Okay.

00:51:47.000 So you occupy South Korea, Japan, Germany, and other countries while cynically calling them allies.

00:51:53.000 True.

00:51:54.000 The West inside surveillance over leaders of these nations who swallow these insults like the slaves they are.

00:52:00.000 The U.S. rules the world by the power of the feast.

00:52:04.000 And any country which seeks to challenge Western hegemony becomes enemy.

00:52:13.000 Their neo-colonism is cloaked in lies like containment.

00:52:18.000 The only reason you're not a neo-colonialist, as you put it, is you can't.

00:52:21.000 You can't even handle your own country.

00:52:23.000 You would love to, you can't even handle Dagestan or Chechnya.

00:52:27.000 They all want to separate.

00:52:28.000 They don't want to be part of you.

00:52:30.000 So who are you going to colonize, dude?

00:52:32.000 Your people are starving.

00:52:33.000 They're freezing.

00:52:34.000 China and Iran.

00:52:36.000 Okay, good.

00:52:38.000 The concept of truth has been destroyed with fakes and extreme propaganda.

00:52:41.000 You cannot feed your people with printed dollars and social media.

00:52:45.000 Stop.

00:52:48.000 Go hammer time.

00:52:50.000 Go hammer time.

00:52:51.000 No, no.

00:52:52.000 Stop.

00:52:53.000 That was a really good point.

00:52:54.000 Finally, I don't know how long we are into your stupid speech, but yeah, we cannot feed our people with social media.

00:53:00.000 We cannot feed our people by printing money.

00:53:03.000 Biden is printing way too much money.

00:53:04.000 That's why we're having this inflation tsunami.

00:53:07.000 So touche.

00:53:08.000 Finally, you get a salient point.

00:53:10.000 And social media is a waste of time.

00:53:12.000 It's draining the brains of our children, making us all stupider and weaker and more complacent.

00:53:17.000 It's our vodka.

00:53:18.000 It's our opiate of the masses, in a sense.

00:53:21.000 So touche on that.

00:53:23.000 And yeah, the whole food shit is weird.

00:53:25.000 We don't know what's going on with these food plants burning down.

00:53:28.000 Something is smelling very eat the bugs about all this.

00:53:32.000 That's not the only salient point.

00:53:34.000 The other ones were like elite.

00:53:35.000 No, the other ones were garbage.

00:53:36.000 Less salient.

00:53:37.000 The other ones were shit.

00:53:38.000 They were just lies.

00:53:39.000 Less salient.

00:53:40.000 Straw men.

00:53:40.000 Salient light.

00:53:41.000 They were shlufguns, which is, that's Russian for straw.

00:53:45.000 Whoa.

00:53:47.000 Not bad.

00:53:49.000 Western elites have no desire to find solution to the food and energy crisis that you created.

00:53:57.000 They solved the problems at the start of the 20th century with a World War I and U.S. established dominance of the world via the dollar as a result of World War II.

00:54:07.000 In the 80s, they had another crisis they solved by plundering our country.

00:54:11.000 And now they want to separate your country by breaking Russia.

00:54:15.000 Okay.

00:54:16.000 We broke the Soviet Union.

00:54:17.000 We don't want to break Russia now.

00:54:18.000 We don't care about you.

00:54:20.000 You know the meme with Mad Men where he goes, I feel sorry for you.

00:54:24.000 And he goes, I never think about you ever.

00:54:26.000 That's how we feel about you.

00:54:27.000 We never think about you.

00:54:29.000 I don't know why our retard id Mr. Magu president gave Ukraine 40 billion.

00:54:33.000 We're not backing that.

00:54:36.000 But go on.

00:54:37.000 This better be winding up soon.

00:54:43.000 Sounded mean.

00:54:44.000 It's a curse.

00:54:45.000 Okay.

00:54:47.000 Okay.

00:54:48.000 Now, this is my little type.

00:54:51.000 Russia understands the responsibility to the international community and will do everything to cool the heads of the neocolonists who are destined to fail.

00:54:59.000 They're crazy.

00:55:00.000 I want to speak to all Russian citizens.

00:55:03.000 Do we want to replace mom and dad with parent one and two?

00:55:07.000 They invented genders and claim you can transition.

00:55:11.000 You want this for our children?

00:55:13.000 Nit.

00:55:13.000 We have different vision.

00:55:14.000 Okay, stop.

00:55:15.000 Just rhymes.

00:55:16.000 And that was good.

00:55:17.000 And Satan is, I don't know, second or third point.

00:55:21.000 But yeah, you're right.

00:55:21.000 This gender shit is fucking ridiculous.

00:55:23.000 And by the way, thank you to these LGBT retards who have given guys like Putin fodder to criticize America.

00:55:31.000 This guy's ginning up the troops, getting the 18 to 25s mad enough to fight, and he's using your ridiculous puberty blockers and all that shit.

00:55:39.000 I'm not talking to you, Putin, by the way.

00:55:42.000 To give them fuel, to show us as the great Satan.

00:55:45.000 So thank you for that.

00:55:46.000 Not only are you fucking up our children, but you're getting Russian young men drafted, trying to avoid the very mess that you created.

00:55:55.000 So your bullshit has now become global.

00:55:59.000 It is now spread over to Russia and Ukraine and is being used as propaganda against the West.

00:56:05.000 It is all there that this is holy war and you have embraced it and don't say holy.

00:56:09.000 You're not even religious, dude.

00:56:11.000 You have to believe in God to be part of a holy war.

00:56:16.000 Anyway, wrap it up.

00:56:18.000 It better be done soon.

00:56:18.000 Okay.

00:56:19.000 We haven't got to anything of consequence, really.

00:56:22.000 The world is going through a revolutionary transformation.

00:56:25.000 It's a multipolar world, offers nations freedom to develop as they wish, as they make up the majority of the world.

00:56:33.000 They have many like-minded friends in Western countries.

00:56:36.000 We can see and appreciate their support.

00:56:40.000 They are forming liberation and anti-colonial movements as we speak.

00:56:45.000 This will only grow.

00:56:46.000 I don't get the anti-colonial thing.

00:56:47.000 We're not trying to colonize you.

00:56:49.000 We don't want to colonize Ukraine.

00:56:50.000 You think we want to be there?

00:56:52.000 Like I said, I wrote this before you extinguished that.

00:56:56.000 Okay, okay, fine.

00:56:57.000 I won't do well.

00:56:59.000 This will only grow.

00:57:00.000 Okay, yes, very true.

00:57:01.000 The idea of exceptionalism is criminal and we must turn this shameful page.

00:57:07.000 The breaking of the West hegemony is inevitable.

00:57:13.000 That's it?

00:57:14.000 There's no going back.

00:57:15.000 We are fighting for our great historic Russia.

00:57:19.000 Our values are the love of our fellow men, compassion, and mercy.

00:57:25.000 Mercy?

00:57:26.000 How many people have you personally had killed for criticizing you, Mr. KGB?

00:57:31.000 Mercy?

00:57:33.000 Wouldn't put any of your fucking Ukrainian eggs in that basket.

00:57:39.000 Are you done?

00:57:42.000 Well, at least, uh, unlike that Indian girl, you were able to take a shit.

00:57:47.000 Ha ha ha.

00:57:56.000 Not bad, right?

00:57:57.000 Pretty good.

00:57:58.000 Pretty good.

00:57:58.000 All right, let's do a quick pet Biden before we hit the mailbag.

00:58:02.000 Hi-o-ee-o.

00:58:07.000 Biden.

00:58:08.000 On him I can depend my pet.

00:58:12.000 Biden.

00:58:12.000 A monster of the president.

00:58:14.000 He's big and loose.

00:58:16.000 Sleepy.

00:58:17.000 But a friendly monster too.

00:58:19.000 My pet.

00:58:20.000 Biden.

00:58:21.000 Wait, what?

00:58:21.000 That doesn't rhyme.

00:58:25.000 Checking the news these days is elder abuse.

00:58:28.000 It's checking in on elder abuse.

00:58:29.000 You know when you have those videos of the old folks' home, you see some black bitch beating the shit out of some geriatric woman who has her 94-year-old cunt hanging out of her wardrobe?

00:58:39.000 Her what?

00:58:40.000 What's it called?

00:58:41.000 Her robe.

00:58:42.000 Robe.

00:58:44.000 Every day.

00:58:45.000 And I had to check some of these because I had to go look at the Friday show's notes and go, did we already cover this?

00:58:50.000 Because it looks damn similar.

00:58:52.000 Nope, this is all new.

00:58:55.000 Check the mail that says drop that I sent you, Ryan.

00:58:58.000 This is think about what you think about.

00:59:02.000 Now, I've heard that chimps, when they get old, they get real ornery.

00:59:08.000 And that's the problem with these people who domesticate them.

00:59:10.000 They have a cute little diaper on them, like Cassandra Fairbanks.

00:59:13.000 Everything's fine.

00:59:14.000 Although I think she has a different type of monkey.

00:59:16.000 But like the BJ and the Bear monkey or the one that Michael Jackson had, they're fine, they're fine.

00:59:22.000 Then they get older and they start getting vicious.

00:59:25.000 You know why?

00:59:26.000 Because they're like us.

00:59:28.000 And we get scared of being killed.

00:59:32.000 We know we're going to get culled from the herd soon by the alpha gorilla.

00:59:36.000 So we have to act tough and we get real mean and violent as a defense mechanism.

00:59:43.000 And I think that's what happened to this geriatric chimp.

00:59:47.000 Not a joke.

00:59:47.000 Think about it.

00:59:48.000 Think about what you'd think about at the time.

00:59:54.000 I was not ready for that.

00:59:55.000 I sent it to you on the weekend.

00:59:56.000 That was...

01:00:02.000 And every time we're talking about anything confusing or I lose my train of thought, I want you to pull that up.

01:00:08.000 My lord.

01:00:09.000 You're so mad.

01:00:10.000 Think about what you think about.

01:00:12.000 Think about what you think about.

01:00:15.000 This is fun.

01:00:16.000 Here's just a typical day at the old folks' home as he's trying to accept the award for the oldest person in the world.

01:00:24.000 Relentless.

01:00:25.000 Have relentlessly worked.

01:00:26.000 And apparently they're going along in a fairly orderly way.

01:00:30.000 I remain focused on helping Puerto Rico.

01:00:35.000 And I immediately approved the expected major disasters, reducing that cost and concern.

01:00:43.000 It could be that they need this progress.

01:00:52.000 It's a leader of the free world, folks.

01:00:54.000 Like my problem with Putin's speeches, it was full of lies, but they were articulate lies.

01:00:59.000 And they were believable lies.

01:01:02.000 The idea that we're racist Russia phobes and we want to colonize the world, I mean, we did some colonizing.

01:01:08.000 We have done a lot of meddling.

01:01:10.000 We were in Afghanistan for 20 years.

01:01:13.000 We've got a lot of neocons in the government who want to spread America far and wide.

01:01:20.000 Not terrible.

01:01:22.000 The idea that he's this bastion of Christianity and religion and we're Satanists, I mean, the first part's an obvious pile of shit.

01:01:30.000 But the second part, I don't know, with these kids and the, we're chopping children's tits off.

01:01:36.000 It's hard to defend.

01:01:38.000 A nine-year-old taking puberty blockers, not easy to defend.

01:01:43.000 And again, thank you for that, queers, for making it easy for other people to call us Satanists.

01:01:51.000 And then, of course, this is the one I thought, stop me if I've shown you this already, Ryan.

01:01:56.000 But this, I discovered at 3.30 p.m. on Friday.

01:02:00.000 So it's, anyway, I can't remember if I've shown you this or not, but it's one of the worst ones.

01:02:07.000 He goes to grab him.

01:02:08.000 Thank you.

01:02:18.000 Grab him.

01:02:20.000 Did you see the edit where he's like, where's Jackie?

01:02:22.000 Is Jackie here?

01:02:24.000 And he's walking away.

01:02:26.000 I love how she tries to grab him.

01:02:29.000 We had a baby monster right in the end.

01:02:30.000 They go, I think what's going on is his earpiece is constantly telling him 100% of what to do.

01:02:36.000 And he admitted himself.

01:02:37.000 He goes, for the past 50 years, I've had a card that I'm given to at breakfast that tells me my whole day.

01:02:42.000 So the only time he's even almost on his own is when a speech is over and he has to find his way back to wherever.

01:02:49.000 And he cannot handle that.

01:02:51.000 Can he handle the entire country?

01:02:53.000 And by the way, when you're the leader of the free world, you're not just handling America.

01:02:56.000 You're handling the entire world.

01:02:59.000 He cannot handle leaving a podium.

01:03:04.000 I think the plan with the pipeline was, let's blow it up and then make it look like Russia did it.

01:03:10.000 And then we'll say, you dummies, you blow up your own pipeline.

01:03:12.000 We use it as propaganda.

01:03:13.000 That's what you do in war.

01:03:14.000 You lie, you steal, you cheat.

01:03:16.000 All is fair in love in war, right?

01:03:18.000 I think he fucked that up by saying he wanted to brag and he went, yeah, well, we'll get rid of it.

01:03:23.000 Trust me, we can take care of that fucking pipeline.

01:03:26.000 And all his advisors are going, what are you doing?

01:03:29.000 That's a secret, you fucking idiot.

01:03:32.000 Think about what you'd think about.

01:03:36.000 All right, let's get to the mailbag.

01:03:38.000 I got to go get my computer.

01:03:39.000 Mizale Bazi.

01:03:42.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a debt.

01:03:46.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

01:03:52.000 Let me touch it.

01:03:58.000 Not very professional.

01:03:59.000 You don't see that on Tucker Carlson.

01:04:02.000 I'm running to get his McPuter.

01:04:05.000 Ryan, shut up.

01:04:08.000 Okay, thank you.

01:04:10.000 Do you have Nazi fags?

01:04:12.000 I do.

01:04:13.000 You want to hear it?

01:04:14.000 Yeah.

01:04:17.000 It's one of my favorite things.

01:04:18.000 Nazi fags.

01:04:20.000 Nazi fags.

01:04:25.000 Oh, it's beautiful, isn't it?

01:04:27.000 You went 100% on that full confidence and it came out like that.

01:04:33.000 What's up, dicker?

01:04:34.000 Arrgh!

01:04:37.000 you Can you really have a problem with Nazi fags?

01:04:43.000 The Nazi part, yes.

01:04:44.000 That's what screws up the.

01:04:45.000 Oh, I had a great idea.

01:04:46.000 I was going to talk about this tomorrow, but we start a racist website.

01:04:51.000 Okay.

01:04:52.000 Another one.

01:04:53.000 We name it Secia.tv.

01:04:55.000 No, and it's called, it has the black sun, and it says, Embrace the DNC.

01:05:03.000 Wow.

01:05:04.000 And it says, it's a call to arms to the stormfront people that says, look, guys, we have to stop rejecting the DNC.

01:05:14.000 If you look at our core values, they are more aligned with what we want than the Republicans.

01:05:20.000 The Republicans are, and then you say the N-word, but you say the real word, party.

01:05:25.000 And you go, look at just abortion alone.

01:05:29.000 Abortion has successfully culled America of, and then whatever it is, it's probably like 40 million Negroes.

01:05:37.000 Yeah, they probably say Negroes is better.

01:05:38.000 I bet they say Negroes.

01:05:40.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:05:45.000 And this welfare has done fantastic at shattering the black family, which is what we wanted.

01:05:51.000 And now they have black on black crime, which is excellent.

01:05:54.000 We're getting up to 20 a day.

01:05:56.000 I mean, there's no way if we went out and killed Negroes, we could possibly kill 20 a day.

01:06:01.000 So the DNC has pulled that off.

01:06:05.000 And then you say the liberal Jew-run media has done an excellent job of hiding this.

01:06:09.000 So no one wants to do anything about it.

01:06:11.000 They're focused on white supremacists.

01:06:13.000 And we're not doing anything.

01:06:15.000 So that's also great.

01:06:18.000 Wouldn't that be cool?

01:06:19.000 A cool little gag.

01:06:21.000 We've got to have like some bed music that goes under you saying stuff like that so it can't be taken out of context.

01:06:26.000 We've already said that that's our fooling around music.

01:06:29.000 And then you go, then on this racist website, it says that it says, now a lot of us fellow Klansmen or whatever say, I guess I should do it in a southern accent so that it can't be taken out of context.

01:06:45.000 A lot of these Republicans, you think that they're on your side, dude, because you see all them fucking queers and these lesbians and these blue-haired women on the left.

01:06:54.000 You go, I don't want that, my fucking kids.

01:06:56.000 Dude, they're not going to be anywhere near your kids.

01:06:59.000 And the beauty of this gay marriage and these fucking getting their tubes tied and their tits cut off is you're ending that lineage.

01:07:07.000 You're ending that family line.

01:07:09.000 They're not going to reproduce.

01:07:10.000 So they are voluntarily ending their bloodlines.

01:07:14.000 Love it.

01:07:15.000 Let's do it.

01:07:17.000 Yeah, you only have to deal with blue hair for like one generation.

01:07:22.000 Right.

01:07:23.000 And then they're out of here.

01:07:24.000 That was terrible.

01:07:26.000 And then so then you go, you know that Nazis support you guys, right?

01:07:30.000 You're better for their cause than we are.

01:07:32.000 Yeah.

01:07:32.000 And you could just show that what's that website?

01:07:34.000 That's literally true.

01:07:35.000 It'd be fun.

01:07:37.000 And all of it's true.

01:07:38.000 The guy who shot Martin Luther King was a Democrat.

01:07:41.000 Wait, what if it worked?

01:07:42.000 Democrats were the party of the KKK.

01:07:43.000 What if we now lose elections due to the 14 extra votes they'll get?

01:07:47.000 That whoops.

01:07:51.000 This I put on Getter.

01:07:53.000 I'm literally in the dictionary under hate.

01:07:56.000 This is under the pinned, right?

01:07:58.000 Could be ancient Chinese.

01:07:59.000 I don't know.

01:08:00.000 Is this a pinned email?

01:08:02.000 Yes, Ryan, it is.

01:08:03.000 All right.

01:08:04.000 The first one I see is not that.

01:08:06.000 Could be ancient Chinese IDK.

01:08:08.000 Okay.

01:08:09.000 How do you not have that?

01:08:12.000 Could be.

01:08:13.000 My first one that I see is from 11 in the morning.

01:08:16.000 Could be one.

01:08:16.000 No, that doesn't make sense.

01:08:19.000 Okay.

01:08:19.000 And now found.

01:08:22.000 Oh, yeah.

01:08:22.000 Look at that.

01:08:23.000 So you can do this yourself.

01:08:25.000 Go to dictionary.com, look up hate, and look up examples.

01:08:29.000 And it says the Western Chauvinist group was created by Vice Magazine co-founder Gavin McGinnis, whose pugilistic style and penchant for causing offense has gotten him de-platformed by tech giants after the Proud Boys were designated a hate group.

01:08:41.000 And like they're quoting Ozzy, OZY?

01:08:45.000 Ozzy.

01:08:46.000 Who the fuck reads that?

01:08:49.000 Have you ever heard anyone mention OZY?

01:08:52.000 What is it?

01:08:53.000 Is it even still around?

01:08:56.000 Ozy is an American media and entertainment company.

01:08:59.000 It is headquartered in Mountain View, California.

01:09:01.000 What the fuck is it?

01:09:03.000 Has anyone checked in on Ozy?

01:09:05.000 I don't even know how to say it.

01:09:06.000 Is it Ozzy?

01:09:07.000 They got OZ TV.

01:09:09.000 Oh, it's like a black thing.

01:09:12.000 It's like a black Netflixy kind of a Daily Beast thing in a Jiggy.

01:09:17.000 So you had to go to a black media site to find examples of white hate.

01:09:24.000 Like a black Netflix.

01:09:25.000 Does it still have that gong with the N jumping towards you when you open up the app?

01:09:30.000 Boom.

01:09:32.000 Good one.

01:09:33.000 Thanks.

01:09:34.000 So Bros, the movie Bros, a rom-com about homosexuals.

01:09:39.000 See, gays are a lot like blacks in the sense that they think that they're 50% of the population.

01:09:47.000 And it's because of ads.

01:09:48.000 Now, I've got a flip phone, by the way.

01:09:50.000 I'm doing the transition.

01:09:53.000 I got one on the weekend, AT ⁇ T, prepaid.

01:09:55.000 It's $30 a month.

01:10:00.000 Last calls, I called you.

01:10:01.000 Let's see if it works, Ryan.

01:10:02.000 Hello, I'm doing the show right now.

01:10:13.000 I'm going to go back.

01:10:15.000 Oh, sorry.

01:10:18.000 I wasn't.

01:10:19.000 I, uh.

01:10:20.000 But here I am grabbing my iPhone because I want to send you these pictures that I saw.

01:10:24.000 I thought you were going to yell at me for being on my phone.

01:10:28.000 Get off your fucking phone.

01:10:30.000 But it's you.

01:10:33.000 Boop, boop.

01:10:35.000 So, gays think they're a massive part of the population, and so do blacks.

01:10:38.000 Fucking quiz!

01:10:40.000 And it's because of advertising.

01:10:44.000 You don't look up demographics, you just watch TV.

01:10:47.000 And so Bros is absolutely bombing.

01:10:50.000 Oh, they had a rimming scene where they were licking, in the sex scene, he was licking the other guy's asshole.

01:10:55.000 And for some reason, not everyone in America wants to watch that.

01:10:58.000 So they had to kill it.

01:11:00.000 The $30,000 butt rig.

01:11:02.000 What are they talking about?

01:11:03.000 Rave reviews.

01:11:05.000 The critics love it.

01:11:07.000 I think it cost $21 million to make.

01:11:09.000 I think it grossed like three.

01:11:12.000 So it will not be breaking even.

01:11:14.000 But Billy Eichner's beef is with you.

01:11:20.000 You are the one who is, you're the reason why it's not doing well.

01:11:25.000 It's because of homophobia.

01:11:27.000 He goes, the straights stayed home.

01:11:29.000 Yeah.

01:11:31.000 Also, didn't, what was the cowboy one that they always photoshopped me and Anthony on?

01:11:37.000 The Brothers Mountains.

01:11:39.000 Brokeback Mountain.

01:11:40.000 Brokeback Mountain.

01:11:41.000 That did really well, did it not?

01:11:43.000 I think it did.

01:11:44.000 So this is sort of like Charlie's Angels, where they go, oh, it didn't do well because you have a problem with women being superheroes.

01:11:53.000 And you're like, no, the first Charlie's Angels did really well.

01:11:57.000 Budget $14 million.

01:12:00.000 How much did it gross?

01:12:01.000 I mean, it definitely was gross.

01:12:04.000 $178 million worldwide.

01:12:07.000 Broke Back Mountain.

01:12:09.000 So it's a fucking joke.

01:12:11.000 Your movie's a joke.

01:12:13.000 It sucks, and it's gross.

01:12:16.000 And this one is eating the poo-poo all over the place.

01:12:23.000 By the way, they don't eat the poo-poo all over the place.

01:12:25.000 They get some poo-poo on them.

01:12:27.000 Right.

01:12:27.000 For the record.

01:12:28.000 Not all over the place.

01:12:29.000 I think I dreamt that joke, too.

01:12:32.000 It's not all over the place.

01:12:34.000 Anyway, that's funny that he's really mad.

01:12:36.000 There's other articles about there.

01:12:38.000 Okay, did you see the thing I sent you?

01:12:39.000 This is when I was getting this flip phone.

01:12:45.000 I'm looking around at the ads, and I counted 19 people in the ads, and one of them is a white male.

01:12:54.000 So if you were to walk into that AT ⁇ T from outer space, and the woman who served me was a black woman with these insane eyebrows she had drawn on with a Sharpie, you'd go, oh, okay, so America is, what, 5% white males?

01:13:07.000 Meanwhile, it's about 7% black males.

01:13:11.000 A lot of people blackmailing here.

01:13:13.000 And it's probably 30 to 40% white males.

01:13:18.000 So they flipped it.

01:13:20.000 They made it the inverse.

01:13:22.000 And it doesn't look weird.

01:13:23.000 You know why?

01:13:24.000 Because we're so used to it.

01:13:25.000 And you know why it exists?

01:13:26.000 It's not for black people or Hispanics or Asians.

01:13:29.000 Women buy cell phones and they feel guilty because we've been hammered as white people for 50 years, half a century, since Martin Luther King died, going, you suck, you suck, you suck, blacks are awesome, blacks are awesome, blacks are awesome.

01:13:42.000 Guys, it hasn't worked on us.

01:13:44.000 When I say guys, I don't just mean white males.

01:13:46.000 I mean Asian guys, Mexican guys.

01:13:48.000 When we're told we suck, we just, most of us go, yeah, fuck you.

01:13:53.000 No, that's not a thing.

01:13:54.000 But white women are more fragile.

01:13:58.000 And they go, okay, how can I fix it?

01:14:00.000 Well, we'll deluge you with pictures of visible minorities.

01:14:04.000 Okay, I'll buy whatever you're selling.

01:14:06.000 And that's been working.

01:14:07.000 Like, look at these.

01:14:08.000 So that's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight black people in two ads.

01:14:16.000 Oh, we've got one, two, three, four, five.

01:14:19.000 The white guy's hidden by me, ironically enough.

01:14:22.000 I think I'm hiding the only white guy.

01:14:24.000 Delete me.

01:14:25.000 Oh, no.

01:14:26.000 No, that's a different one.

01:14:27.000 Okay.

01:14:30.000 Asian dude, two broads.

01:14:32.000 Asian dude looks like something on a Star Trek, doesn't he?

01:14:35.000 Yeah, it is weird.

01:14:36.000 He kind of looks like an Asian Steve Perry.

01:14:38.000 With broken arms.

01:14:41.000 Or whatever.

01:14:42.000 There we go.

01:14:43.000 The one white guy is a hippie faggot.

01:14:47.000 Look at that intense Japanese guy.

01:14:50.000 His eyebrows look like punctuation.

01:14:52.000 This is phone.

01:14:53.000 This is a good phone.

01:14:56.000 And is there any more?

01:14:58.000 No.

01:14:58.000 No, so that's all the ads.

01:14:59.000 Damn.

01:15:00.000 About 1920 people, one white male.

01:15:07.000 All right, here's a biggie.

01:15:10.000 I'm sure you're familiar with Tales from the Hood horror anthology series.

01:15:16.000 No, I am not.

01:15:17.000 The third one has the most outrageous drama and caricature of what the left views right-wingers as I have ever seen.

01:15:22.000 I think you might find it hilarious.

01:15:24.000 It is the second story in the movie called The Bunker and starts around 29 minutes into the movie.

01:15:31.000 You think blackting is bad?

01:15:33.000 Just blackting, to be clear.

01:15:35.000 Just wait for black writing directing.

01:15:38.000 It is insane and unintentionally funny.

01:15:40.000 The short underlines the massive divide between the two political sides and how they view the imagined community of their perception or a right-wing racist.

01:15:47.000 I don't want to say more, as it has dharman levels of retardation.

01:15:51.000 Also, the whole movie might be worth watching as it deals with blacks behaving badly.

01:15:56.000 I can't say it wasn't entertaining.

01:15:57.000 I tried to find it on YouTube, but couldn't.

01:15:59.000 It is on Peacock.

01:16:01.000 Or I'm sure you van find it with your fancy box thing.

01:16:06.000 Okay, so maybe I shouldn't have brought that up.

01:16:08.000 I think I found it.

01:16:12.000 Illegally.

01:16:15.000 What do you have that's illegal?

01:16:16.000 I just search.

01:16:17.000 If you search free streaming 123, it'll usually come up.

01:16:21.000 So it's about 20 minutes in.

01:16:23.000 This motherfucker.

01:16:24.000 Is that Opie?

01:16:26.000 Hey, Brother Man.

01:16:27.000 Brother Man, Brother Man.

01:16:28.000 Literally.

01:16:29.000 Yeah.

01:16:34.000 I'm scared.

01:16:37.000 So is this Tales from the Crypt, but black?

01:16:40.000 Yeah, Tales from the Hood.

01:16:41.000 But it's not meant to be...

01:16:44.000 It's not a comedy at all.

01:16:46.000 It's like an over-the-top.

01:16:50.000 It's not supposed to be funny per se, but it's supposed to be like over the top.

01:16:54.000 Well, Tales from the Crypt is over the top, and funny, but also scary.

01:17:03.000 where's the racist That's a basketball.

01:17:18.000 Okay.

01:17:19.000 Dead body on it.

01:17:21.000 Wanna play, huh?

01:17:25.000 Let's play this.

01:17:27.000 Better get good, caller.

01:17:29.000 All right, I'm here.

01:17:34.000 All right, we're waiting.

01:17:39.000 This the framing of these shots are terrible.

01:17:42.000 This stacy rapper's brother isn't.

01:17:45.000 Hey, listen, man, why don't you stop playing fucking games?

01:17:47.000 Right on your mark.

01:17:48.000 We can't be afraid of you.

01:17:48.000 Why are you speaking like a man?

01:17:49.000 Stop being a little bitch.

01:17:53.000 Okay.

01:17:55.000 Okay.

01:17:56.000 I thought we have a civilized conversation.

01:17:58.000 You know, we come to some sort of Agreement, man.

01:18:01.000 Through the floor.

01:18:03.000 So, in your conversation with nobody, now you've gone to let's have a civilized conversation.

01:18:09.000 That's CGI.

01:18:10.000 Oh my god, that's terrible CGI.

01:18:13.000 The color of the basketball changed.

01:18:15.000 The CGI basketball is like gray.

01:18:17.000 Oh, shit.

01:18:19.000 Shit.

01:18:26.000 Where's the racist?

01:18:29.000 Peekaboo, Jigaboo.

01:18:32.000 pretty good I just realized how much you have to enunciate peekaboo if you're playing that game with some friends.

01:18:50.000 Well, there was that senator who called the black woman Boo and they said, oh, he's abbreviating Jigaboo.

01:18:54.000 Jesus.

01:18:55.000 Wouldn't that be Jig?

01:18:57.000 Alright, this sucks.

01:18:59.000 This sucks.

01:19:00.000 This sucks.

01:19:00.000 This is not true.

01:19:02.000 Oh!

01:19:05.000 So far, we've been threatened by a clown and a basketball.

01:19:09.000 Oh, shit!

01:19:16.000 Oh, shit.

01:19:16.000 Colored lights.

01:19:19.000 Oh, shit.

01:19:19.000 The hall is green.

01:19:22.000 That's my least favorite color.

01:19:26.000 I mean, green is the height.

01:19:31.000 This guy said this was racist.

01:19:33.000 Are you sure you got the right one?

01:19:35.000 Is this the bunker?

01:19:37.000 He said about 20 minutes in.

01:19:39.000 It is the second story in the movie called The Bunker.

01:19:42.000 So I think it's 29 minutes into the second.

01:19:45.000 Oh, into the second one?

01:19:46.000 Yeah, this one's just...

01:19:49.000 So that was just Black Dung.

01:19:52.000 It's the Candyman.

01:19:54.000 Wait, that looks like a bunker?

01:19:56.000 Come here, baby.

01:19:57.000 Oh, yeah.

01:19:58.000 That looks like a waste guy.

01:19:59.000 This is white.

01:20:01.000 You like that?

01:20:02.000 You like that?

01:20:04.000 You don't hear the service white master?

01:20:07.000 Oh, serve the white master, he says.

01:20:09.000 That's enough!

01:20:13.000 For me, take one, Nanicia Washington!

01:20:18.000 White power?

01:20:18.000 Swing your head?

01:20:21.000 Okay, great.

01:20:22.000 There's cameras in my house?

01:20:23.000 Oh, listen to your necessary monkey poop.

01:20:26.000 Monkey poop.

01:20:29.000 Monkey poop, monkey poop.

01:20:35.000 Coming soon, monkey poop.

01:20:38.000 Coming soon, the monkey poo.

01:20:39.000 So what if there is a guy that's like racist and banging a dollar?

01:20:42.000 Leave him alone.

01:20:44.000 He's shot.

01:20:46.000 If there's racists out there that are in a cement bunker, fucking brown plastic dolls, it's not high on my priority list.

01:20:55.000 Are you saying bad words, though?

01:20:57.000 Okay.

01:20:58.000 Don't worry, I'll save some white sleepy y'all.

01:21:03.000 Save come.

01:21:04.000 Take your little armor, I'm gonna let you chop this stick.

01:21:06.000 An ass armor?

01:21:07.000 I'm gonna run a jihad on that janky ass, and for you, Jesus killer, Gonna break that hymen, hymn.

01:21:14.000 Right now, I'm the mayonnaise.

01:21:16.000 On him, get him.

01:21:17.000 Wait, is this hero gonna like go down and shoot him to protect these dolls?

01:21:21.000 I hope.

01:21:22.000 Sorry, buddy, that's murder.

01:21:23.000 But he was...

01:21:31.000 And what you did was murder.

01:21:33.000 I'm sorry.

01:21:35.000 Oh, this is what I guessed.

01:21:36.000 Anyway.

01:21:38.000 What a detour.

01:21:40.000 All right.

01:21:40.000 From now on.

01:21:44.000 I didn't mean to do that.

01:21:45.000 From now on, when we get an email that says go check out a movie, we will check it out first and save you 900 hours of time.

01:21:52.000 All right, let's get to the final video.

01:21:54.000 All right.

01:22:08.000 Now, I had to watch this a couple of times.

01:22:11.000 And unfortunately, I think it's TikTok, so you can't pause it.

01:22:15.000 But I'm trying to figure out what exactly he does when he throws the bottle.

01:22:23.000 How does he make the guy look down?

01:22:25.000 It's really good the way he throws it.

01:22:27.000 I'm giving it away.

01:22:29.000 But this is fucking hilarious.

01:22:31.000 And I love seeing magic where the magic is explained in the trick.

01:22:36.000 Yeah?

01:22:36.000 You need to tell me when the bottle disappears.

01:22:39.000 Bottle.

01:22:40.000 Can you see it still?

01:22:41.000 I can see it.

01:22:42.000 What about now?

01:22:43.000 I can see it.

01:22:44.000 Okay.

01:22:44.000 No?

01:22:45.000 I can see it.

01:22:47.000 I can't see it.

01:22:48.000 You can't see it.

01:22:49.000 So it's disappeared?

01:22:50.000 Well, no, it's still there.

01:22:51.000 But it could have disappeared because you can't see it right now.

01:22:54.000 No, but I know it's.

01:22:55.000 It hasn't disappeared.

01:22:55.000 We know that.

01:22:56.000 I told you it didn't.

01:22:57.000 It could have disappeared.

01:22:58.000 The result of the screening.

01:22:59.000 No.

01:23:00.000 So it could have disappeared.

01:23:01.000 I mean, it hasn't, but it could have disappeared, right?

01:23:03.000 We're in the same agreement, though.

01:23:05.000 Okay.

01:23:05.000 We are, right?

01:23:05.000 Right, let's agree to disagree.

01:23:06.000 Okay.

01:23:07.000 So, okay, so it could have disappeared.

01:23:09.000 You'd agree with me?

01:23:10.000 I'm not.

01:23:10.000 Okay, I'll agree for you.

01:23:12.000 So it could have disappeared?

01:23:13.000 Okay.

01:23:13.000 Alright.

01:23:14.000 But has it?

01:23:15.000 No.

01:23:16.000 It may have done, though.

01:23:21.000 Disappeared.

01:23:22.000 What?

01:23:23.000 What?

01:23:26.000 That's not the same bottle.

01:23:27.000 It is.

01:23:27.000 It was marked with head.

01:23:28.000 Oh, yeah.

01:23:29.000 Okay, so.

01:23:31.000 Even if it was a different bottle, who the fuck?

01:23:32.000 Yeah, who cares?

01:23:34.000 Why is the bottle being there the freaky part?

01:23:36.000 The freaky part is that you made it disappear.

01:23:39.000 Oh, good.

01:23:39.000 The bottle's still safe.

01:23:41.000 Do you suspect any shenanigans there or no?

01:23:43.000 What?

01:23:44.000 Do you suspect shenanigans?

01:23:46.000 I'm sorry?

01:23:47.000 Suspect shenanigans?

01:23:48.000 Great band name, by the way, they're playing at the Mercury.

01:23:50.000 Oh, like he's faking?

01:23:51.000 Yeah.

01:23:53.000 Never.

01:23:53.000 Just because that brand new hat.

01:23:57.000 Wait.

01:23:58.000 That convenient brand new hat.

01:24:00.000 And the acting is a little...

01:24:04.000 I can see it.

01:24:06.000 It's good acting, but that hat.

01:24:09.000 And so, wait, they're friends, or like this is a random guy?

01:24:15.000 This is shenanigans.

01:24:18.000 Who wears a blank hat like that, brand new, with that brim?

01:24:22.000 I could have disappeared.

01:24:24.000 Does he have that in any of his...

01:24:27.000 Where's his hat?

01:24:29.000 Maybe he's And they said, You can't wear that hat.

01:24:33.000 We can't show this because we can't have logos.

01:24:34.000 It was like a Nike hat.

01:24:36.000 So they gave him some studio hat.

01:24:38.000 But why would him having a new hat mean it's not a real magic?

01:24:42.000 Because he does wear brand new hats a lot.

01:24:44.000 Yeah, that was such a we need to the Detective Shitty bumper.

01:24:47.000 Oh, fuck.

01:24:49.000 There you go.

01:24:50.000 I should have fied that too.

01:24:53.000 All right, let's do it.

01:24:59.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, won't never stop this fighting.

01:25:17.000 I don't wanna wait till you leave to say what I really mean.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - October 03, 2022

S04E171 - PUTIN'S SPEECH

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