Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - October 26, 2021


S04E47 - RING MY BELL


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 26 minutes

Words per Minute

152.8278

Word Count

13,268

Sentence Count

1,531

Misogynist Sentences

132

Hate Speech Sentences

136


Summary

This week, the boys are joined by a special guest, Paul Cotter, to discuss a variety of topics, including the latest in pop culture and politics. Plus, a new K-Pop band, Baby Monster, and a new kind of poop.


Transcript

00:00:48.000 Singing me a song always doing me wrong.
00:00:56.000 Doing me wrong.
00:01:00.000 That sounded a little sexist.
00:01:04.000 Get up and make me a sandwich, Mabel.
00:01:06.000 These lazy women always doing me wrong.
00:01:09.000 I don't think my wife's ever made me a sandwich once in my life.
00:01:15.000 You know, when I was married, my aunt came up to my wife, which was like crossing enemy lines.
00:01:22.000 She should be talking to me.
00:01:23.000 And she said, don't make him breakfast.
00:01:27.000 She said, you make your husband breakfast once and it's expected for the rest of your life.
00:01:32.000 Kind of true.
00:01:35.000 Another piece of great advice for newly married couples, if you can, don't share a bathroom.
00:01:41.000 Try to get separate bathrooms.
00:01:43.000 My bathroom's in the basement, my gold dust bathroom.
00:01:45.000 Had some fucking arrogant millennial, because I was asking for a gold dust poster yesterday, say, I found this in like 30 seconds.
00:01:52.000 Are you an idiot?
00:01:58.000 So many of our letters are like that.
00:01:59.000 Meanwhile, the poster that he's talking about is about this big.
00:02:07.000 It's a calendar page, my friend.
00:02:09.000 It's not a poster.
00:02:10.000 A poster is the kind of thing that's in your room.
00:02:13.000 And so it's Black Sabbath.
00:02:15.000 This is where we cash in our Sam Roberts knowing him thing.
00:02:22.000 What the fuck are you talking about?
00:02:24.000 Oh, maybe he can get us one?
00:02:26.000 Oh, my God, of course.
00:02:27.000 I don't know about that, dude.
00:02:28.000 You can definitely go to...
00:02:30.000 Well, personally, I go to wwwpors.com.
00:02:34.000 Yeah, I've been all over the web.
00:02:36.000 That thing is tiny.
00:02:39.000 But it is perfect.
00:02:40.000 That's exactly what I'm looking for.
00:02:41.000 That is awesome.
00:02:42.000 They broke up, unfortunately.
00:02:43.000 That is sad.
00:02:44.000 I was reading about it.
00:02:45.000 I'd never follow Wrestling, but after getting a Gold Bathroom, I looked into Goldust and learned a lot about her, his manager, that he had a high-falutin relationship with.
00:02:54.000 Yeah, so that was Doug Powell.
00:02:56.000 Not to be confused with Doug Powell my age, who's making pop music.
00:03:01.000 God, don't you love this suit?
00:03:03.000 You know what you can't?
00:03:04.000 You can't see is that it's corduroy.
00:03:07.000 We can kind of see it.
00:03:09.000 Called De Roi.
00:03:11.000 And I've had this for 25 years, so it's all floppy.
00:03:17.000 You can relax.
00:03:18.000 You must be so jealous right now.
00:03:20.000 I am.
00:03:20.000 I mean, I'm also wearing a bomb ass suit.
00:03:23.000 What do you got your Brooks Brothers thing?
00:03:25.000 Let's see your suit.
00:03:26.000 Where do you see my Nita Fashions beige corduroy suit that's coming in the mail in a few couple weeks, maybe six weeks?
00:03:34.000 Let me see your pants.
00:03:37.000 You're always such a hodgepodge.
00:03:39.000 You're like, welcome back, Cotter.
00:03:43.000 You look like the top salesman at Knights of Columbus.
00:03:48.000 Wait, they sell stuff at Knights of Columbus?
00:03:50.000 Yeah, they sell insurance.
00:03:51.000 It's the largest insurance company in the world.
00:03:59.000 I was going to open with Baby Monster.
00:04:02.000 I got some bad news, BMs, bowel movements.
00:04:06.000 There's a K-pop band coming over the horizon called Baby Monster.
00:04:12.000 And they have billions of views.
00:04:14.000 And it's possible that in a month, when you say you're a baby monster, they'll go, oh yeah, I love them too.
00:04:21.000 Great band.
00:04:28.000 I think you're a little close to the spit guard there, honey.
00:04:31.000 Your nose is moving it.
00:04:38.000 This music could be written by AI.
00:04:41.000 It's even worse than yours.
00:04:43.000 Is AI riding the music that's coming out of Korea?
00:04:47.000 We don't know.
00:04:48.000 Looking into it further, the Japanese are right on their coattails with J-Pop.
00:04:54.000 When will this fiesta end?
00:04:56.000 Paul, I'm happy to get you on the show.
00:04:58.000 I was just on your website, Summit.news.
00:05:00.000 Fantastic site.
00:05:01.000 Thank you.
00:05:03.000 I noticed just to jump ahead to COVID.
00:05:05.000 I noticed in 2.9, just after 2.7 there, speaking of PJW, this is good.
00:05:13.000 You were talking about that New Zealand woman who was doing what Biden did, which is, so you want everyone to be vaxxed?
00:05:19.000 It's a mandate.
00:05:21.000 And they get glib and they smirk and they go, yeah.
00:05:25.000 That's what I want.
00:05:27.000 That's what I want, bitches.
00:05:30.000 No, not that one.
00:05:31.000 The next one.
00:05:34.000 That was also on your.
00:05:37.000 There you are.
00:05:38.000 Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern.
00:05:40.000 There's my hat.
00:05:51.000 It's almost like, you probably don't see like this, the two different classes of people.
00:05:55.000 If you're vaccinated or if you're unvaccinated, you have all these rights.
00:05:58.000 If you are vaccinated, it is what it is.
00:06:00.000 So, yep.
00:06:01.000 Yep.
00:06:01.000 Under the new system, when cases rise, the unvaccinated.
00:06:05.000 That was creepy, though, Paul.
00:06:06.000 You're right.
00:06:07.000 Despicable.
00:06:09.000 She likes it.
00:06:11.000 Yep.
00:06:12.000 She reminds me of Merkel and AOC.
00:06:15.000 A lot of these women that are in politics, you can tell they're just there for the power and they actually want you to hate them.
00:06:21.000 They want to be Cruella Devil.
00:06:26.000 See, the Avi Yamini.
00:06:27.000 I bet she's gay.
00:06:28.000 She has gay face.
00:06:29.000 Yeah, she got a little gay face.
00:06:31.000 Let's look her up.
00:06:32.000 She's like a skeleton gay.
00:06:34.000 Skeleton Gay.
00:06:35.000 That's one of my favorite British poets.
00:06:38.000 What's her name again?
00:06:39.000 His name's Skeleton Gay.
00:06:41.000 Oh, no, her.
00:06:42.000 What's her name?
00:06:43.000 Australian Prime Minister.
00:06:45.000 That might be the name of today's show.
00:06:48.000 Hello.
00:06:49.000 I am Skeleton Gay.
00:06:51.000 My first.
00:06:54.000 Like, I don't know, those Gaylord guys that are called Gaylord.
00:06:59.000 What is this Biach's name?
00:07:01.000 Just go back to the link.
00:07:05.000 I'm sure it's in the write-up.
00:07:07.000 Not that we should know who the.
00:07:09.000 No.
00:07:10.000 No.
00:07:12.000 Just go New Zealand PM fucking.
00:07:16.000 Oh, New Zealand, okay.
00:07:17.000 She was Australia.
00:07:20.000 No.
00:07:20.000 Did you see what happened with Avi Yamini?
00:07:22.000 The fight?
00:07:23.000 No.
00:07:24.000 I mean, it was like a pushing fight.
00:07:26.000 His bodyguard really, really stepped in and made me want to bodyguard.
00:07:30.000 Abby can handle himself.
00:07:31.000 Absolutely.
00:07:32.000 But no, she's pregnant here.
00:07:35.000 That could just be Guinness.
00:07:38.000 Imagine?
00:07:40.000 Yeah, she just loves a good pint after work.
00:07:43.000 She looks really skeletal.
00:07:45.000 Wow, those chompers look like they could tear through steel.
00:07:49.000 She's got like a chimp's mouth.
00:07:51.000 I agree.
00:07:52.000 Wait, what's that with the burger?
00:07:55.000 What's going on there?
00:07:57.000 She Muslim?
00:07:58.000 Jacinda Adern.
00:08:01.000 Uh-oh.
00:08:01.000 That's her name?
00:08:05.000 Uh-oh.
00:08:06.000 Why do they always have to look somber when they wear those, too?
00:08:09.000 Like, they're in the middle of the middle.
00:08:10.000 They're probably itchy.
00:08:11.000 Yeah, that's true.
00:08:12.000 So Google Wikipedia her.
00:08:14.000 Is she Muslim?
00:08:15.000 Let me see.
00:08:16.000 Pakistan.
00:08:17.000 Zinzabad.
00:08:18.000 Pakistan.
00:08:20.000 Zinzabad.
00:08:21.000 Ala Akbir.
00:08:26.000 Alright, I want to get back to the news.
00:08:27.000 I want to talk to our gimpy friend again, Crip Daddy.
00:08:31.000 He turned me on to this video.
00:08:34.000 Religion.
00:08:36.000 Oh, she's a convert.
00:08:39.000 I bet she's a convert.
00:08:41.000 Those are the worst.
00:08:43.000 After the Christchurch mosque shooting, she became Muslim because it was higher currency.
00:08:48.000 No, it should be in the top.
00:08:49.000 They have their religion in the top with their like all their names and everything.
00:08:56.000 No, no.
00:08:57.000 To the right, shithead.
00:08:58.000 You ever been to Wikipedia outside of your job before?
00:09:10.000 Clark Gaylord?
00:09:11.000 That's funny that I was talking about Skeleton Gay.
00:09:14.000 So we don't know what religion she is?
00:09:17.000 Just go is blah, blah, blah, Muslim.
00:09:22.000 Sorry, folks, this is a bit of a chunky start.
00:09:25.000 It's like a Model T Ford here.
00:09:26.000 We got to wind it up.
00:09:27.000 Not to my knowledge, this says.
00:09:30.000 Okay.
00:09:31.000 Because what kind of name is Jacinda Arden?
00:09:34.000 Sounds very non-white, buddy.
00:09:37.000 Of course, she is white.
00:09:38.000 Depends on the day of the week.
00:09:40.000 Biological father is Pakistani origin, Bhutto, whichever is Muslim.
00:09:45.000 Unmarried had a baby.
00:09:46.000 Oh.
00:09:48.000 Weird.
00:09:49.000 Unmarried and had a baby could be lesbian, so.
00:09:53.000 Really?
00:09:53.000 See, I'm back.
00:09:55.000 I'm back.
00:09:56.000 Wow.
00:09:58.000 Does not smoke, drinks alcohol, unknown.
00:10:03.000 Okay, this woman, it's in a Crip Daddy tweet where she's talking about trans community, and it's a Chappelle thing, of course.
00:10:14.000 All Chappelle all the time.
00:10:16.000 But she's talking about how we need some decency in this country, the way we talk about trans.
00:10:23.000 And then this is juxtaposed with all the horrible things she says on her own time, which is like, this Asian nigga showing up here ain't doing shit for me now, motherfucker.
00:10:32.000 Do you know what I'm talking about?
00:10:34.000 Yeah, that shows you.
00:10:34.000 I sent it to you.
00:10:36.000 I hope.
00:10:38.000 Like, while we were starting the show.
00:10:39.000 Oh, I see.
00:10:40.000 Oh, I see.
00:10:44.000 Every time I say I sent it to you, look at the most recent things I've sent to you.
00:10:48.000 Yeah, there we go.
00:10:49.000 Ashley Marie Preston is a dude.
00:10:53.000 I'm Ashley Marie Preston, and I'm the organizer for the Stand-Up and Solidarity Rally.
00:10:57.000 And my entire career, everything that I've done has been about pushing boundaries.
00:11:01.000 It has been about holding people accountable.
00:11:03.000 Just cuss that Asian bitch clean the fuck up.
00:11:05.000 We expect more.
00:11:06.000 You mess up my order and then blame me.
00:11:08.000 English is my first language, bitch.
00:11:12.000 I know it's a lot to ask in California, but speak fucking English.
00:11:17.000 We don't support social equity into these spaces.
00:11:20.000 I love Ashley Murray Preston.
00:11:23.000 Wait, wait, just what did he say?
00:11:24.000 I just broke my phone on this Asian bitch's head.
00:11:27.000 Just broke my phone on this Asian bitch's head.
00:11:33.000 On this Asian bitch's head.
00:11:35.000 Dave Chappelle doesn't get to suck all of the light out of that.
00:11:38.000 And so the thing that I feel most trouble biased.
00:11:43.000 Latino and Asian businesses need to stop being rude and fucking disrespectful.
00:11:47.000 They don't have the same equity.
00:11:49.000 This Asian nicotine subway god of fat ass.
00:11:51.000 They don't have the same opportunity.
00:11:53.000 He almost looks like a bitch from behind.
00:11:55.000 Hashtag.
00:11:56.000 Shaking my head.
00:11:57.000 We will no longer stay silent.
00:12:59.000 head and make you think that you're a fuckboy so he can fuck you yeah it's it's not a thing that dudes say like you're a slut dude right you're a fucking whoor you probably sleep with any dude To understand intersectionality and what it means.
00:13:16.000 I have Asian friends, but they some motherfucking weirdo sometimes.
00:13:20.000 Hashtag.
00:13:21.000 I said it, but we all think it.
00:13:23.000 Obviously, uh, Ashley Murray Presson is a great advocate.
00:13:26.000 Furry slipper wearing ass fuckboy.
00:13:28.000 Keep pretending for the internet.
00:13:30.000 Dick Ryder.
00:13:31.000 Ashley Murray Presson has proven herself as an activist, also a friend, and a loved one to many people in her embarkment on activism.
00:13:39.000 So thank you so much.
00:13:40.000 These motherfuckers.
00:13:41.000 Faggot cocksuckers.
00:13:43.000 Fat Mexican piss blonde miss piggy looking bitch.
00:13:46.000 I love strippers.
00:13:47.000 Not in like a gay way.
00:13:50.000 I love gay men, but this county clerk at Window G is a motherfucking faggot.
00:13:54.000 Thank you so much for the transparency.
00:13:56.000 That is the last time I helped that faggot fucker.
00:13:59.000 So for those of us who are standing in solidarity with the trans employees, another damn Asian almost hit me while crossing.
00:14:07.000 What the fuck is with y'all and damn vehicles?
00:14:10.000 Hashtag racist ass.
00:14:12.000 I don't do Mexicanation or Samoan.
00:14:14.000 You need to have difficult and complex conversations.
00:14:17.000 You should be ashamed if you take abortion pills like Flintstone vitamins.
00:14:22.000 Oh, that was kind of right-wing.
00:14:24.000 Yeah.
00:14:25.000 Can you get Crip Daddy?
00:14:28.000 I can certainly give it a try.
00:14:30.000 Give him a heads up.
00:14:31.000 DM him in Skype.
00:14:34.000 Ashley Marie Preston is a perfect example of black privilege.
00:14:39.000 I think I know why.
00:14:41.000 I think I know why.
00:14:43.000 Taneshi Coates accuses us, white people.
00:14:46.000 When I say us, I mean me, I guess.
00:14:49.000 And maybe some of you.
00:14:50.000 Maybe a smattering of you.
00:14:52.000 He says that we walk around like we own the place and it's all for thee and not for me.
00:14:57.000 We're hypocrites and we have no boundaries.
00:15:01.000 And then we have this fat black man in drag saying racist shit on a regular basis throughout the years and then telling and joking.
00:15:10.000 I mean, he was trying to, those tweets were to be funny.
00:15:12.000 He wasn't like literally threatening Asian people.
00:15:15.000 I felt threatened.
00:15:17.000 Okay.
00:15:17.000 Well, it was funny.
00:15:20.000 And yeah, and then you give Dave Chappelle shit because you don't like the quality of his jokes.
00:15:26.000 And I think I know why.
00:15:28.000 So I want to talk to Crip Daddy about that.
00:15:31.000 Oh, here he is.
00:15:33.000 Hello?
00:15:37.000 Oh, you got to put on your fancy thing.
00:15:41.000 Here's your fancy thing.
00:15:42.000 Are you talking to me?
00:15:45.000 So you're saying it like...
00:15:47.000 No, don't throw it in there.
00:15:51.000 You're saying it like.
00:15:54.000 It's my fault.
00:15:56.000 It's my bad.
00:15:58.000 It always is.
00:16:01.000 Let's turn this on.
00:16:04.000 And I think I know why.
00:16:06.000 And I think I know why.
00:16:08.000 Grip Daddy, are you there?
00:16:10.000 Oh, yeah, I can hear you.
00:16:12.000 We were just watching that Ashley Marie Preston thing, and I think it's a great example of black privilege.
00:16:18.000 Yeah, you think so?
00:16:20.000 I mean, imagine Chappelle made the jokes that she was making in her Twitter feed about this Asian bitch, and I'm about to break my phone on this Asian cunt's head.
00:16:33.000 It was all good shit.
00:16:35.000 I laughed harder at that than I think at Dave Chappelle's special, if I'm being honest.
00:16:41.000 Maybe that's what the protest was.
00:16:43.000 She was saying, this nigga ain't even funny.
00:16:45.000 Check out my recent tweets.
00:16:46.000 I got way better shits than him.
00:16:50.000 And the thing is, funnier than any late night, like talk show host I've seen in forever.
00:16:56.000 So I'm a fan.
00:16:58.000 Yeah, I want to see her on that RuPaul drag challenge.
00:17:03.000 Oh, that would be so fucking good.
00:17:04.000 I'd finally want something gay.
00:17:07.000 Which, by the way, did you know that that show now includes women?
00:17:12.000 What the fuck?
00:17:12.000 Since when?
00:17:14.000 I think it started with the British version, but now women get up there and dress in drag.
00:17:19.000 And you're like, so you're a woman dressed up as a woman?
00:17:22.000 That's like a dude, a male black man in blackface.
00:17:26.000 I like that.
00:17:27.000 We need more of that.
00:17:29.000 I think if black people embraced blackface, it would become more normalized and things would be better.
00:17:36.000 Yeah, and you wouldn't, would you be able to tell?
00:17:38.000 Take someone who's already very exaggerated with the features.
00:17:42.000 Yeah, like imagine Wesley snipes in blackface.
00:17:45.000 There's just no point.
00:17:47.000 That would be fantastic.
00:17:50.000 How are you doing?
00:17:52.000 I'm living the dream.
00:17:54.000 I'm doing great.
00:17:55.000 Now, it takes you a sec to get ready, right?
00:17:57.000 What happens?
00:17:57.000 Your mom has to pick you up out of bed and put you in that chair?
00:18:00.000 I got to do my morning routines where, like, I get my nurse to give me my morning hand jobs.
00:18:10.000 You got to get that out the way real quick.
00:18:12.000 Oh, yeah, you got to clean the pipes.
00:18:14.000 Yeah.
00:18:15.000 Take a piss, take a shit, you know, some medical stuff.
00:18:19.000 But I'm fine.
00:18:21.000 I'm doing good.
00:18:22.000 Well, you white people walk around like you own the place.
00:18:26.000 And Taneshi Coates woke me up to it.
00:18:28.000 I think it's because you've experienced nothing but privilege in your life.
00:18:32.000 That's true.
00:18:34.000 I can tell you for a fact that I've lived the most privileged life I've ever seen.
00:18:40.000 And I do it with pride.
00:18:43.000 And I think it's time that you recognize that privilege, and we should be able to go through years of your emails, texts, phone calls, private conversations, and see if we can find an N-word to pillory you with.
00:18:56.000 Oh, yeah.
00:18:56.000 No, you'll find it.
00:18:57.000 And I'm not hiding it.
00:18:59.000 I own it with all of my heart.
00:19:01.000 My white, hateful heart.
00:19:03.000 Well, I'm announcing here on this show today that we are officially beginning the cancellization, the cancellation of CripDaddy.
00:19:12.000 I'm here for it, and I fully support it.
00:19:15.000 I want to disenvow all hate that I could have spread because I know deep down I could have been spreading so much more and I should have been.
00:19:25.000 Cut him off, Ryan.
00:19:26.000 Too late.
00:19:27.000 You're done.
00:19:27.000 Goodbye.
00:19:28.000 Canceled, sir.
00:19:30.000 Cancelled.
00:19:31.000 Hang up, Brian.
00:19:34.000 In other news, spooky is banned in Scotland because it's offensive.
00:19:39.000 Is that because of the word spook?
00:19:42.000 But spook is like a 50s racial term.
00:19:45.000 Also, you can't shine your shoes anymore.
00:19:48.000 You can gloss your shoes, but shine is racist.
00:19:51.000 I can't tell what's a joke anymore.
00:19:52.000 That's correct.
00:19:54.000 Yeah, spook is...
00:19:56.000 Well, obviously it's died.
00:19:58.000 Words die of old age.
00:20:01.000 So spook is dead.
00:20:02.000 But if we're going to go back through the, digging through the crates and find some old spook LPs, I would argue you'd find as many, or at least in the modern American head, you think of spook as a Fed, a federal informant, an FBI guy,
00:20:18.000 as much as you'd think of it as a racial epithet.
00:20:23.000 Right?
00:20:23.000 And if it's a black FBI guy, I mean, that's a twofer.
00:20:27.000 I think you're a spook, you fucking spook.
00:20:30.000 Here's the tweet thing.
00:20:32.000 Whatever.
00:20:32.000 National Theater Scotland has banned this word synonymous with Halloween after it was flagged as a racist slur.
00:20:38.000 The word spooky has been dropped by the major arts organization if it was discovered that it was used as a derogatory term during World War II.
00:20:46.000 Is it possible this is because of us?
00:20:50.000 I mean, who else plays a Scotsman saying spooky?
00:20:53.000 Literally, actually.
00:20:54.000 On a regular basis.
00:20:56.000 I'm waiting for you to pull it up.
00:20:58.000 And because Proud Boy started going like this, they said it's a white power symbol.
00:21:02.000 So is it possible that just because my show has a spooky drop in it, they've decided it means racist?
00:21:11.000 Soon they won't be able to use toilet paper.
00:21:13.000 It's the gav drop rule.
00:21:16.000 Spook him.
00:21:18.000 Although, I do agree that.
00:21:23.000 What just happened to my brain?
00:21:24.000 Oh, no.
00:21:26.000 It broke.
00:21:27.000 Spooky.
00:21:30.000 Oh, yeah.
00:21:30.000 I was going to say I don't really enjoy toilet paper.
00:21:32.000 That's why I go to biffy.com.
00:21:34.000 Free sponsor.
00:21:36.000 What's happening there?
00:21:36.000 That was cool.
00:21:39.000 That's fun.
00:21:40.000 I'm trying to get your face.
00:21:42.000 It's difficult.
00:21:43.000 Okay.
00:21:44.000 Oh, wait, there we go.
00:21:45.000 Oh, fuck.
00:21:46.000 You just disappear into a void.
00:21:48.000 It doesn't work.
00:21:49.000 Yeah, you can't fuck with the devil.
00:21:50.000 You can't fuck with the...
00:21:51.000 Whoa.
00:21:52.000 I'm Satan.
00:21:53.000 Damn.
00:21:54.000 This just in Gavin McInnes admits he's Satan.
00:21:57.000 Or as Joe Biden goes, he's like, as we Catholics say, oh, my God.
00:22:04.000 So he takes the Lord's name in vain by calling himself a Catholic.
00:22:07.000 Actually, let's jump over to some last-minute MyPet Bidens.
00:22:12.000 I know it's weird to do, but I think I sent them to you separately, my man.
00:22:16.000 All right.
00:22:17.000 Because I don't have a MyPet Biden section.
00:22:21.000 Biden.
00:22:22.000 On him I can defend.
00:22:24.000 My Pet.
00:22:25.000 Biden.
00:22:26.000 A monster of the president.
00:22:28.000 He's big and food.
00:22:30.000 Sleepy.
00:22:30.000 But a friendly monster too.
00:22:33.000 My pet.
00:22:34.000 Biden.
00:22:35.000 Wait, what?
00:22:35.000 That doesn't rhyme.
00:22:39.000 So was it just the one video I sent you later?
00:22:42.000 Was it two?
00:22:43.000 I'm seeing the un.
00:22:44.000 I think it was just one.
00:22:46.000 All right.
00:22:46.000 This is a challenge.
00:22:48.000 Novo.
00:22:51.000 I speak perfect Biden.
00:22:53.000 I'm a linguist.
00:22:55.000 French, English.
00:22:56.000 With French, I would argue it's maybe even two languages because I speak France French and Quebecois, which is an ancient version of France French.
00:23:06.000 English, sort of Scottish.
00:23:08.000 That's kind of a different language.
00:23:10.000 I know I'm stretching them out here, but I'm proud to say I speak Biden.
00:23:13.000 Did you know?
00:23:15.000 One of my buddies who has a restaurant, he speaks a bit of Mexican.
00:23:20.000 He's got a Hispanic last name.
00:23:22.000 He's not great at it.
00:23:23.000 But this kid from Guatemala couldn't understand him.
00:23:28.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:23:29.000 They have him very formal form of Spanish.
00:23:32.000 No, fuckface, Detective Shitty.
00:23:35.000 Please show the Detective Shitty thing.
00:23:38.000 Okay, but I don't agree because it's true.
00:23:42.000 Yeah, that's even shittier of you.
00:23:44.000 That's double shitty.
00:23:47.000 There's a lot of doubles today.
00:23:49.000 Come on, Detective.
00:23:54.000 So, there's Ink...
00:23:57.000 I want to say Aztecian, but it's not that.
00:23:59.000 It's like Inca language, Incanian.
00:24:03.000 And it's fucking clicks.
00:24:06.000 It's the original Aboriginals who live in the mountains of Guatemala.
00:24:13.000 They don't, they're pre-Spanish.
00:24:15.000 This is the Aztec Inca language.
00:24:19.000 And it's half cliques.
00:24:28.000 No one could understand this guy.
00:24:29.000 He doesn't speak a lick of English, no Spanish.
00:24:33.000 And the only way that anyone could understand him is he brought in other weight staff that were also from Guatemala and they'd spent some time in the mountains.
00:24:40.000 And they're like, oh, yeah, I know that one.
00:24:42.000 Watch this.
00:24:42.000 Hey, are you...
00:24:45.000 And he's like, oh, shit.
00:24:49.000 Isn't that fucking nuts?
00:24:51.000 How did you get here?
00:24:52.000 How did you get here from Guatemala?
00:24:54.000 Is this just the DNC flying in ABOs from all over the fucking world?
00:25:00.000 Put your spear down.
00:25:01.000 Pick up a rag.
00:25:02.000 Go wash dishes and vote for me.
00:25:05.000 Crazy.
00:25:08.000 So I'm going to flex my muscles here and show you my amazing Biden skills and we'll see what.
00:25:17.000 You know, very excited today because we have to be visiting like an actual.
00:25:23.000 Today we're visiting the ancient Mayan town of Facebook.
00:25:27.000 Very excited because I've actually secretly spent the past week and a half studying the ancient Mayan language and today we are going to be introducing ourselves to the future.
00:25:36.000 You're a nerd.
00:25:37.000 Get lost.
00:25:38.000 I hope they eat you.
00:25:43.000 I want to hear their clicks.
00:25:44.000 Jump way ahead.
00:25:58.000 You know what it is?
00:25:59.000 This is the Mayan one?
00:26:00.000 Maybe the Incan one.
00:26:02.000 Were those squeaks part of their stupid language, or was that some dolphin in the background?
00:26:06.000 Dolphins speak fluent Mexican Spanish, so it's hard.
00:26:10.000 All right, anyway, you get the idea.
00:26:11.000 There's weirdos about.
00:26:14.000 All right, see if you can do this.
00:26:15.000 I can.
00:26:16.000 No volumo expression, time is money.
00:26:19.000 Got it.
00:26:20.000 As one computer said, if you're on the train and they say portal bridge, you know you better make other plans.
00:26:27.000 No volumo expression, time is money.
00:26:30.000 You never think it's over because you're like, there's got to be something that ties it into reality.
00:26:34.000 And like he's going to go, that was a silly saying that was in old nursery rhymes.
00:26:39.000 And it makes no sense, but people still say it.
00:26:42.000 In other words, is the thing that the dragon said in Lord of the Rings.
00:26:50.000 It was a palindrome.
00:26:52.000 This is the direct translation of ink in Spanish, but when we decode.
00:26:56.000 Which obviously makes no sense when I recite it.
00:26:58.000 Now, the proper sentence would be, no, no, that's not it.
00:27:03.000 No mobile expression.
00:27:04.000 Time is money.
00:27:05.000 No one has a problem with that, right?
00:27:07.000 We're all.
00:27:08.000 The one computer said, if you're on the train and they say portal bridge, you know you better make other plans.
00:27:15.000 By the way, Joe, it's and they say portal bridge, you know you better make other plans.
00:27:22.000 Not you better make other plans.
00:27:24.000 Plans was on the next line, you see, as they scroll.
00:27:28.000 So that's why his sentences stop and start again in the middle, because the teleprompter has text this big.
00:27:35.000 Because he doesn't want to wear glasses.
00:27:39.000 Well, do you want to try it?
00:27:40.000 You want to take a swing at it?
00:27:41.000 I'm ready.
00:27:41.000 I've tried.
00:27:42.000 No, I can't.
00:27:43.000 It's impossible.
00:27:44.000 Okay.
00:27:46.000 That's my answer, default.
00:27:48.000 You give up.
00:27:49.000 I give up.
00:27:50.000 The biggest part of this mystery is he misread the word commuter.
00:27:57.000 He said computer.
00:27:58.000 He said computer.
00:27:59.000 He cannot read.
00:28:02.000 He is the, what's his name?
00:28:03.000 A Floyd Mayweather of presidents.
00:28:06.000 But without the fighting.
00:28:10.000 Yeah, he misread the word commuter.
00:28:12.000 Portal Bridge is that bridge that you pass when you're going to Newark Airport in Jersey, right?
00:28:21.000 It goes over some fucking little waterway in New Jersey near New York here on our way down south.
00:28:28.000 Near Secaucus, yeah, yeah.
00:28:29.000 Yeah, if we're going to D.C. or something, we go past this bridge, and it sucks, and there's always a problem with it.
00:28:35.000 They've since demolished it, I believe.
00:28:38.000 Or they begun demolishing it?
00:28:40.000 I remember a couple years ago, they were taking sledgehammers to it, knocking her down.
00:28:46.000 Anyway, so if you're on a commute and the train ride includes the Portal Bridge, you're probably going to be late and you're probably going to miss the dinner or whatever you were headed for.
00:28:58.000 You better make other plans.
00:29:04.000 All right, let's get back to the beginning of the show.
00:29:08.000 Babylon Bee now has a column in the New York Post, which I brought today.
00:29:15.000 And they can just shine, shine, diamond, shine.
00:29:19.000 Which includes this fun progressive guide they did, one four, where they break down the alphabet, the Babylon Be guide to wokeness.
00:29:28.000 This is a fun little link to have.
00:29:30.000 Our brave new progressive world from A to Woke.
00:29:34.000 Subhead, byline, I mean, the Babylon B. Let's go through some of these.
00:29:41.000 Keep going.
00:29:43.000 Ally, a straight white male who kills himself.
00:29:47.000 Abolitionism, the noble movement to remove all police protection from urban communities and replace it with unarmed, anti-racist, interpretive dancers.
00:29:57.000 By the way, speaking of that, that brings me to my other PJW, which is the one right after 9-7, where John Oliver is saying, I hear that policemen are calling in sick.
00:30:07.000 Good.
00:30:08.000 Fuck them.
00:30:09.000 Quit your job.
00:30:10.000 I did that a little Australian, but.
00:30:14.000 Donald Trump?
00:30:17.000 That's way better.
00:30:19.000 Wait, go to the top there.
00:30:20.000 John Oliver attacks cops resisting vaccine mandate.
00:30:23.000 If an officer wants to quit, fucking let them.
00:30:27.000 So brave.
00:30:28.000 Look at that guy.
00:30:29.000 He's been a pussy his entire life.
00:30:31.000 He's been the beta male wedgie nerd since he was a baby.
00:30:36.000 He got bullied in the NICU.
00:30:38.000 And here he is telling New York City cops, the country's bravest, I'd argue, that he doesn't fucking need them around.
00:30:48.000 He'll handle his own business in his gated little courtyard in Manhattan, Midtown, which is where he lives.
00:30:55.000 I tracked him down once.
00:30:55.000 I can't remember why.
00:30:57.000 He was talking about how weak everyone is and how tough he is.
00:31:02.000 And then I looked him up and saw that his only place for his kids to play is a little fenced in courtyard.
00:31:07.000 Go down.
00:31:08.000 Let's hear his rationale.
00:31:11.000 I'm going to start tonight with this.
00:31:13.000 In police departments nationwide, a crush of vaccine mandates are a flashpoint for officers faced with rolling up their sleeves or losing their jobs.
00:31:23.000 In Leesburg, Virginia, some officers say they may quit if the vaccine mandate moves forward.
00:31:29.000 Massachusetts, the State Police Union believes at least 150 state police officers will resign.
00:31:35.000 One trooper who decided to quit had some choice words for the governor on the way out.
00:31:39.000 This is the last time you'll be at him on State Patrol Co.
00:31:42.000 And Jansley can kiss my ass.
00:31:46.000 Ooh, a walkie drop.
00:31:49.000 You don't see many of those, and that's probably because it looks pathetic.
00:31:53.000 Dropping a microphone is inherently exciting.
00:31:55.000 You get these buttons that it hits the floor and the cheer of the crowd, but a walkie drop.
00:32:00.000 It's a walkie drop.
00:32:02.000 Is that like dropping tobacco?
00:32:07.000 But it is true, all over the country, a small minority of police officers have received disproportionate coverage after threatening to resign over COVID mandates.
00:32:16.000 They framed this as a matter of individual liberty, even in cases where very little was being asked of them.
00:32:22.000 In Chicago, officers were merely asked to register their vaccination status on a portal, and for now, can still work if they're unvaccinated, So long as they are regularly tested.
00:32:32.000 But nevertheless, John Katanzara, the head of Chicago's Fraternal Order of Police, told his officers flat out: do not comply with any direct order to fill out the portal, period.
00:32:42.000 Since the start of the city, because that portal, that database is used against you and your career in the future, it affects promotions.
00:32:51.000 You're on their shit list is what that portal is, but you wouldn't know that.
00:32:55.000 Can't these guys all have to do one ride-along with every police force they criticize?
00:33:00.000 Imagine John Oliver in the south side of Chicago at 1 a.m., cowering in the back seat.
00:33:06.000 Hey, you can come out if you want.
00:33:08.000 You want to come with this arrest?
00:33:09.000 No, no, I'll stay in.
00:33:14.000 I hope he has to call the cops soon, and they say no.
00:33:21.000 This despite being among the first groups to have access to the vaccine.
00:33:25.000 Yeah, it's true.
00:33:26.000 Four times more police officers die from COVID than gunfire.
00:33:30.000 That is a terrible statistic, which you might not fully absorb, given that CNN's graphics department represented it with one bar that's only about twice as big as the other.
00:33:40.000 So, welcome to CNN.
00:33:41.000 If you want to instantly understand the different ways that police die, it's going to be tricky for you.
00:33:46.000 But if you want to understand the one way that a certain British royal died, it's your lucky day, 9pm Eastern Sunday night.
00:33:52.000 So, no need to watch.
00:33:54.000 Spoiler alert.
00:33:55.000 It was the mother-in-law.
00:33:58.000 Annoying, isn't he?
00:34:02.000 Say it to my face.
00:34:04.000 You're fucking annoying.
00:34:06.000 All right.
00:34:07.000 You're everything we hate, actually.
00:34:08.000 You're a beta male, you're a cuck, you're a bullshit artist, and you're an immigrant.
00:34:14.000 I don't think I am.
00:34:16.000 In fact, if we look at Gavin McInnes' Twitter, oh wait, it doesn't exist.
00:34:23.000 Yeah, because I got censored.
00:34:26.000 I got canceled.
00:34:27.000 I look like Eugene Levy.
00:34:30.000 Okay.
00:34:32.000 So that progressive guide's a fun thing to pass around.
00:34:36.000 And lastly, in my fun intro, cute bits of news.
00:34:42.000 I never heard of this chick before, but she's making some waves.
00:34:45.000 Kim Iverson.
00:34:48.000 My type.
00:34:50.000 This is 1.5.
00:34:52.000 And she's talking about her YouTube videos are getting shut down.
00:34:55.000 She's got that Lauren Chen half Chinese thing going, which I don't like.
00:35:00.000 It seems weak to love Asian women.
00:35:04.000 So I just pretend she's a swarthy Italian.
00:35:07.000 And upload it all, and it's a very long time.
00:35:10.000 Wait, go back a bit.
00:35:11.000 So this is what she's doing.
00:35:13.000 YouTube, and I just love the cannibalism of the left.
00:35:17.000 Right now, the left is furious with Netflix, right?
00:35:20.000 With Dave Chappelle, they call it hate flick.
00:35:22.000 And they're mad at Facebook.
00:35:24.000 Facebook allows Nazis.
00:35:26.000 What?
00:35:26.000 They ban everyone at one pube of center.
00:35:30.000 But they're fascists to you.
00:35:32.000 Why?
00:35:32.000 Because someone wrote something anti-Semitic and it was up for an hour on a comment, on a picture.
00:35:38.000 That doesn't count more on your arguing with 13-year-olds.
00:35:42.000 And Netflix, everything about Netflix is woke.
00:35:47.000 Even redneck documentaries like Leonard Skynyrd have to throw in that they hate the Confederate flag and they hate guns.
00:35:54.000 So the fact that you hate Netflix is perfect.
00:35:57.000 You know why?
00:35:57.000 Because you're shifting the Overton window.
00:35:59.000 Thank you for that.
00:36:00.000 Just like Michelle Wolfe saying, I love my abortions and doing an abortion dance and the moderates going, you know what?
00:36:08.000 We're going to go a little more pro-life.
00:36:10.000 The pendulum is swinging too far in the baby murder direction.
00:36:13.000 So good.
00:36:14.000 Keep bitching about Netflix.
00:36:16.000 Keep bitching about Amazon.
00:36:18.000 And this woman, I don't think, is a liberal.
00:36:20.000 She's bitching about YouTube.
00:36:22.000 And I would have given up on YouTube a long time ago.
00:36:25.000 I did.
00:36:26.000 Before they killed me, my past like five videos were, I'm getting killed soon.
00:36:30.000 Say goodbye.
00:36:31.000 This ain't going to last.
00:36:33.000 The end is nigh.
00:36:35.000 But what she's doing to stay alive is deleting all her old videos because YouTube will change the rules and then go back in time and persecute you for breaking the rules which didn't exist at the time, which is clown world in a nutshell,
00:36:51.000 right?
00:36:51.000 What are we doing with these statues?
00:36:53.000 We're pulling them down for violating some sort of anti-historical law.
00:36:57.000 How dare they be pro-slavery?
00:36:59.000 But I'm not.
00:37:00.000 I just didn't want this North pushing us around.
00:37:02.000 Too bad.
00:37:03.000 Wait, I'm an abolitionist.
00:37:04.000 Too bad.
00:37:05.000 You're gone.
00:37:06.000 I rewrite history.
00:37:07.000 I go back in time now.
00:37:08.000 Same with the rapes.
00:37:10.000 Someone had a bad day.
00:37:11.000 Two years later, I was raped.
00:37:13.000 What?
00:37:13.000 Why didn't you call the police that night?
00:37:14.000 Oh, I didn't realize it till like night right now.
00:37:17.000 But now I can go in a time machine, go back in time and enforce my new opinions and the new culture we're in, and then enforce that on the past and ridicule them, destroy them, cancel them for being old-fashioned.
00:37:31.000 Yes, you heard me correctly.
00:37:32.000 We are going back in time and telling people from hundreds of years ago that they were old-fashioned and not up with the latest.
00:37:40.000 Spooky is not acceptable anymore.
00:37:42.000 Anyway, sorry.
00:37:43.000 So she is going back through her videos and deleting them to avoid getting shut down.
00:37:49.000 Maybe it'll be three months worth of content at a time.
00:37:52.000 I'm not really certain yet.
00:37:53.000 I haven't decided yet, but I do know that I will be removing all of my old content off of the platform, keeping it on another platform.
00:38:01.000 So I'm in the process of that project because I've got to catalog it and upload it all.
00:38:05.000 And it's a very long process, you can imagine.
00:38:08.000 But once that's finished, I will be deleting all the videos off of YouTube that are beyond a certain date.
00:38:14.000 So that is what's going to be happening.
00:38:15.000 Check her out.
00:38:15.000 She's very interesting.
00:38:16.000 And where can you see all of my content?
00:38:18.000 She doesn't read from a teleprompter, which is nice.
00:38:22.000 All right, let's dip into some trans.
00:38:24.000 Wait a minute.
00:38:24.000 Have we already done this?
00:38:26.000 Oh, yeah.
00:38:27.000 We don't have to do.
00:38:27.000 Well, maybe make the background trans.
00:38:35.000 Last I'll mention on Chappelle that they're doing a documentary on him that they're shutting down now.
00:38:42.000 Now that he's turned out to be a transphobe.
00:38:44.000 Which I would say is the worst thing you can be in 2021.
00:38:48.000 Worse than a pedophile.
00:38:49.000 Worse than a racist.
00:38:51.000 Transphobe is probably the worst as far as mass hysteria goes.
00:38:57.000 Don't you think?
00:38:58.000 Oh, yeah, it's pretty bad.
00:39:01.000 David Shapelle's documentary being pulled by distributors amid controversy.
00:39:05.000 I am not bending to anybody's demands.
00:39:14.000 And then last thing, well, this is kind of the war on kids and trans combined.
00:39:18.000 That Loudon dad, where they said, he's lying.
00:39:21.000 This never happened.
00:39:23.000 Turns out it did happen.
00:39:25.000 We've got proof now.
00:39:26.000 So he's vindicated.
00:39:27.000 He's not vindicated with us, though.
00:39:29.000 And then our buddy Mark Randazza, Mr. Free Speech Lawyer, says, so sorry, just to skip ahead there, Ateen testified she met a classmate for consensual sex in the girls' bathroom of a Loudoun County High School before.
00:39:40.000 But in a May encounter, she was sexually assaulted.
00:39:43.000 So they said this guy was a domestic terrorist, the dad.
00:39:46.000 We were disappointed in him for just going through MAMBY-PAMBY paperwork after his daughter's anally and facially raped.
00:39:53.000 And he's like, well, I'm filing a complaint.
00:39:56.000 Okay, I'm not sure why you're not turning into Charles Bronson like the rest of us would.
00:40:01.000 And then the left's new angle, now that they realize they can't just pretend this didn't happen, is that the girl was a whore.
00:40:08.000 And the funny thing I find about this is all this leftist shit where they accuse us of crazy shit like, raped because she was wearing a short skirt.
00:40:16.000 And I'm allowed to wear high heels.
00:40:19.000 And just because I get dressed up doesn't mean you can rape me.
00:40:22.000 Right?
00:40:22.000 Remember all that shit?
00:40:24.000 And we would go, what is this, the 50s?
00:40:25.000 We never said you deserve to get raped if you wear short shorts.
00:40:28.000 What are you talking about?
00:40:30.000 That may have happened in the 50s before I was born, but not now.
00:40:33.000 And then here we have the left doing exactly that.
00:40:36.000 Because she's allegedly had consensual sex, and we don't know what that means in this context.
00:40:42.000 Could have been just making out, in the bathroom before, she deserves to get raped in the ass and in the face by some fucking weirdo who's in a dress.
00:40:52.000 Click on the Justin tweet.
00:40:56.000 Teen testified she met a classmate.
00:40:57.000 Yeah.
00:40:58.000 Washington Post.
00:41:00.000 Who's this Justin juvenile guy?
00:41:02.000 Is he on their side?
00:41:04.000 Yeah.
00:41:06.000 He's the justice reporter.
00:41:08.000 You know the press is nonsense.
00:41:10.000 I'm not talking about Justin.
00:41:14.000 That's what they live for, to be mentioned by Donald Trump once.
00:41:18.000 All right.
00:41:18.000 Let's change the pace dramatically.
00:41:22.000 Oh, wait.
00:41:22.000 Sorry, let's do one last thing.
00:41:25.000 I'll get this Morose story out of the way, then we can cheer up with the green screen.
00:41:28.000 I was reading about this story that I almost couldn't read about.
00:41:32.000 And this would be War on Kids backdrop now.
00:41:35.000 There's no Gaynus involved.
00:41:38.000 But you heard about these three kids who were left with their dead brother for a year?
00:41:44.000 This is 2-4, Ryan.
00:41:46.000 And I'm just reading this story, which I have a lot of trouble reading stories about children under duress.
00:41:52.000 Houston House of Horror's mom lived 50 minutes away and would occasionally bring food to her kids, aged 7, 10, and 15, who were left alone with brother's corpse for a year.
00:42:01.000 Teen texted mother to say he couldn't take it anymore before calling 911.
00:42:06.000 The three siblings and skeletal remains were asked to do a welfare check.
00:42:12.000 15-year-old boy called 911.
00:42:14.000 His nine-year-old brother had been dead for a year.
00:42:16.000 Oh my God.
00:42:17.000 Children were living in deplorable conditions.
00:42:19.000 They'd likely been left abandoned for several months.
00:42:22.000 Why don't they just leave?
00:42:23.000 Why didn't the 15-year-old leave?
00:42:26.000 Children's mother and a boyfriend were located interviewed by cops before being released.
00:42:29.000 Sheriff's spokesperson, they were released.
00:42:33.000 Sheriff's spokesperson said in an email to dailymail.com the charges are pending.
00:42:36.000 Why does Mercedes go straight to jail and has to wait there for a trial?
00:42:40.000 Same with Joe Biggs, Ethan Nordine.
00:42:42.000 All our friends, our MAGA friends, are in prison awaiting trial for trespassing and a fake rape story.
00:42:50.000 Yet this woman can probably starve a child to death and then leave him rotting.
00:42:57.000 Isn't it like, that's a crime in and of itself.
00:42:59.000 It's called like, I can't remember, disrespecting a corpse or something.
00:43:03.000 Desecrating a corpse.
00:43:06.000 Connecting all the dots, it seems that they were in there while the body was deteriorating.
00:43:10.000 Next door neighbor said she first noticed a foul odor coming from the sibling's apartment a year ago and repeatedly complained about it.
00:43:16.000 See, this is what I don't like.
00:43:19.000 This is the lack of community.
00:43:21.000 And smash the patriarchy, all that stuff, right?
00:43:23.000 The family's evil.
00:43:24.000 Smash the community.
00:43:25.000 Let's import a bunch of Somalians into your apartment building.
00:43:28.000 Next thing you know, we all keep to ourselves.
00:43:30.000 Next thing you know, there's no sense of community.
00:43:32.000 Who suffers from that?
00:43:33.000 I don't.
00:43:34.000 I just get on my motorcycle, go to the bar.
00:43:36.000 Women and children suffer from that.
00:43:38.000 Old ladies suffer from that.
00:43:39.000 Lack of community, lack of caring in the community hurts the weak.
00:43:44.000 And so there was this sentence in there that really killed me.
00:43:46.000 It was, the neighbor in the apartments complex had complained for months about a foul odor emitting from the unit where the shocking discovery was made.
00:43:56.000 The smell was so bad that she would be forced to turn off her air conditioning to prevent it from entering her apartment through the vents.
00:44:03.000 The neighbor said she complained several times about the smell.
00:44:06.000 Like, I hate all this.
00:44:07.000 Complained several times.
00:44:08.000 This goes back to the Loudon dude.
00:44:11.000 I don't care.
00:44:12.000 Why are you complaining?
00:44:13.000 Go over there.
00:44:13.000 Hello, you kids okay?
00:44:15.000 Oh my God, what is this smell?
00:44:16.000 Kids, kids, come out here.
00:44:17.000 Come out here.
00:44:18.000 Here, stay at my apartment.
00:44:19.000 Call the cops.
00:44:21.000 Get them somewhere safe.
00:44:23.000 Don't tell.
00:44:23.000 When the mother calls, says, what's going on?
00:44:25.000 Say, nothing, lady.
00:44:27.000 We're fine.
00:44:27.000 Where did you take my children?
00:44:30.000 They're okay.
00:44:30.000 Now you're risking going to jail for kidnapping, especially if the children are nuts and they say, no, we liked being in that room.
00:44:37.000 That's the risk you take to save children's lives.
00:44:40.000 Why is everyone just keeping to themselves about a fucking rotting cadaver?
00:44:46.000 Jeez, oh.
00:44:48.000 She had to turn off her AC.
00:44:50.000 That's the woman.
00:44:52.000 Wait a minute.
00:44:52.000 Eric Chapman said she'd been feeding...
00:44:54.000 Oh, yeah.
00:44:54.000 Sorry, that's not the woman.
00:44:57.000 Talk about fucking trash.
00:44:58.000 All right, I had to get that bummer out before.
00:45:01.000 But yeah.
00:45:03.000 Just like the take before with that dad power is, don't you guys have jobs?
00:45:07.000 The take for this isn't just some crazy bitch was abusing her kids and we complained and they didn't do anything.
00:45:13.000 No, you didn't do anything.
00:45:15.000 You should be ashamed of yourself.
00:45:16.000 You the neighbors.
00:45:18.000 A year?
00:45:21.000 Check on your neighbors, folks.
00:45:23.000 All right, let's cut to a green screen.
00:45:25.000 You ready?
00:45:41.000 Thought we'd have some fun.
00:45:42.000 We always enjoy some ridiculosity, right?
00:45:45.000 And I thought we would do a little segment on people getting hit in the face for the first time.
00:45:51.000 Now, the first segment of this is called Pussy Pass Revoked, where women are getting punched in the face for their first time.
00:45:59.000 There's a couple that didn't make the cuts here.
00:46:00.000 We all remember that Antifa chick spitting on a cop.
00:46:05.000 And he just grabs her and pulls her in where she gets arrested and you feel good inside.
00:46:09.000 That was amazing, and that was her first getting called on her bullshit.
00:46:14.000 But she didn't get punched.
00:46:18.000 There's a certain thing about the punch where you see them go, what the fuck was that?
00:46:21.000 I mean, I get it even in sparring at 51 years old.
00:46:25.000 My 300th punch, I still go, whoa.
00:46:27.000 Sometimes I'll even say to the coach, I just got my bell rocked.
00:46:31.000 My bell rung.
00:46:32.000 Sorry.
00:46:33.000 My shit rocked.
00:46:34.000 Hoping they'll sort of go like, time out.
00:46:36.000 They never do.
00:46:37.000 They say, just take it.
00:46:38.000 Actually, one time my coach goes, you know, the other day, I was getting my ass beat so bad in this alleyway.
00:46:45.000 I didn't give a shit, by the way.
00:46:46.000 See, that's what you got to learn.
00:46:47.000 You got to learn to just take punches and not give a shit.
00:46:51.000 Just shrug them off.
00:46:52.000 You get too upset.
00:46:54.000 Just ignore them.
00:46:55.000 It's like bugs on your legs or something.
00:46:57.000 You just got to get used to it.
00:46:59.000 And then he tells me the story about getting the shit beaten out of him in an alleyway where his eyes are sealed shut.
00:47:05.000 And then they wouldn't let him go to another club.
00:47:07.000 And I was like, how did you get in the funny?
00:47:08.000 He goes, I don't know.
00:47:09.000 I was fucking wasted.
00:47:11.000 Wait a minute.
00:47:11.000 So you're telling me that I need to not care so much about getting hit in the head.
00:47:18.000 And your example of that is you not caring when you were blackout, drunk, out of your mind.
00:47:23.000 We could have cut your fingers off and you wouldn't have given a shit.
00:47:27.000 Not the best example.
00:47:34.000 You know what my dick told me last night?
00:47:38.000 It's these Oedipus, man.
00:47:40.000 The lies are just relentless.
00:47:42.000 I live with Ratzo Rizzo between my legs.
00:47:46.000 He goes, hey, she's touching herself.
00:47:50.000 And I was like, really?
00:47:52.000 Well, I can do way better than her finger.
00:47:54.000 I have a penis.
00:47:56.000 So then I sort of slide over to the bed, and I definitely feel like vibrations.
00:48:01.000 So then I'm like, I want to make it clear.
00:48:03.000 Maybe she doesn't want to wake me up that I'm awake.
00:48:06.000 I'm eligible.
00:48:07.000 So I kind of like slide my leg down near her lower regions, expecting to feel like...
00:48:13.000 No, it's just my wasted head vibrating.
00:48:17.000 She was dead as a doornail, fast asleep like a log.
00:48:21.000 I was, I don't know what you call it, not hallucinating, but I was body hallucinating this, like shaking beans.
00:48:31.000 I'm walking here.
00:48:33.000 And every single time I confront my dick after one of his cockamamie, excuse the pun, ideas doesn't pan out, he always has the same reaction.
00:48:40.000 He's always eating a cheeseburger and he always goes, oh no, thought she was.
00:48:46.000 Fucking guy.
00:48:49.000 He's got some balls.
00:48:50.000 I was like, maybe she had a Tom Hardy dream.
00:48:52.000 I could be Tom Hardy.
00:48:54.000 I'll just shrink two inches.
00:48:57.000 Anyway, this is a woman.
00:49:00.000 This is called Pussy Pass Revoked because she gets not her first punch, but her first bonk, and her boyfriend gets his first punch.
00:49:10.000 Perfect reaction.
00:49:16.000 That's got to be Iceland or something, right?
00:49:18.000 He's like a Syrian refugee.
00:49:21.000 And that guy's never been...
00:49:22.000 He's some Netherlands dude who's never been punched.
00:49:24.000 Look at his saggy jeans.
00:49:30.000 But yeah, you don't want to...
00:49:31.000 There you go.
00:49:32.000 Look at that.
00:49:33.000 He has to hold on to someone else.
00:49:34.000 His world is rocked.
00:49:40.000 By the way, dude, I know your world's rocked, and it's good that you got punched in the face, but you should be mad at your chick.
00:49:46.000 She's the one who started that whole thing by gobbing on a random Syrian.
00:49:52.000 And you don't want to punch someone in the face, but a bonk with an umbrella, that seems like a pretty good solution to spit, don't you think?
00:49:59.000 You need to do something.
00:50:02.000 Oh, here's a guy in a restaurant.
00:50:03.000 He's mad about masks, of course, causing a scene.
00:50:06.000 And someone just goes, fuck this.
00:50:08.000 They're not calling 911.
00:50:10.000 They're taking care of this as it happens live.
00:50:13.000 They are stopping it in its tracks.
00:50:16.000 No one has to worry about it.
00:50:17.000 Everything is now fixed.
00:50:20.000 I have to be very careful because I can't be accused of advocating violence on the show.
00:50:24.000 But here is someone getting their ass kicked for the first time in their life, and they're going to be a lot less self-righteous, you notice.
00:50:29.000 So it's this guy, the bald guy, who's about to get rocked.
00:50:34.000 But you're not.
00:50:35.000 You know what?
00:50:36.000 Go fuck yourself.
00:50:37.000 No, no, no, no, no.
00:50:38.000 You go fuck yourself.
00:50:41.000 Look at this.
00:50:42.000 See that surgical gloves on?
00:50:43.000 Yeah.
00:50:44.000 You want to see what happens when you discriminate?
00:50:48.000 We're going to fuck your restaurant up.
00:50:49.000 You will just leave it.
00:50:54.000 I see it.
00:50:55.000 You go fuck you.
00:50:56.000 You want to do something?
00:50:57.000 I don't want to do anything.
00:50:58.000 Don't do music.
00:50:59.000 Don't get music.
00:51:00.000 And then someone comes up.
00:51:10.000 No, Ryan, no, no, don't do music because you got to see his reaction.
00:51:14.000 He goes, that's assault.
00:51:15.000 You know what that's assault is?
00:51:16.000 It's Chinese for, that was the first time I've ever been punched in the face.
00:51:23.000 Look, he doesn't even know what to do.
00:51:28.000 Get out, bro.
00:51:31.000 Get out, bro.
00:51:34.000 That's assault.
00:51:35.000 That's your fault.
00:51:37.000 He can't wait to get the fuck out of there.
00:51:39.000 That's assault.
00:51:40.000 Anyway, I'm gone.
00:51:40.000 He led him right towards the door anywhere.
00:51:44.000 Here's an oldie, but a goodie.
00:51:45.000 You've seen this one a million times.
00:51:47.000 You could actually call all of these pussy pass revoked.
00:51:50.000 But this guy, look, if someone has good stance and they're getting low and they're moving their center of gravity around, they're changing their levels, as we say at the gym, you're fighting a boxer.
00:52:01.000 And being good at it, if you will.
00:52:03.000 So, unless you box or do some sort of contact sport, you're going to get punched.
00:52:08.000 But this dude, the white dude, has this attitude where he's got this face, like, this is what we're doing now?
00:52:14.000 I have to kick your ass.
00:52:16.000 I don't think that's a good attitude.
00:52:18.000 Unless you've knocked out 12 people in your life, you've knocked out zero.
00:52:23.000 This is your first fight outside of downstairs with your brothers.
00:52:27.000 Let's see how well it works out for you.
00:52:29.000 Swing on that nigga!
00:52:30.000 Bitch ass niggas, what the fuck y'all gonna do?
00:52:32.000 Look.
00:52:34.000 Look, even with the pinky up.
00:52:36.000 I bet you won't hit him.
00:52:37.000 I bet you won't hit him.
00:52:38.000 Hey, y'all some bitch ass niggas.
00:52:39.000 Come on, hit him.
00:52:42.000 Come on, what is that?
00:52:43.000 See, he's got a good stance.
00:52:45.000 Boom.
00:52:46.000 And watch this one.
00:52:48.000 And whack.
00:52:51.000 Left hook.
00:52:52.000 But look, his cool face is what gets frozen.
00:52:58.000 Like, you call that a knockout?
00:52:59.000 Big deal.
00:53:01.000 Big deal.
00:53:02.000 I just hope this card goes in reverse.
00:53:06.000 Okay, now let's do some genuine pussy pass denied.
00:53:10.000 You can see a lot of great fights on crazy shit.com, but I don't recommend it because it's also full of over-the-top disgusting porn.
00:53:17.000 It's for like depraved incels.
00:53:21.000 21.
00:53:23.000 This is women who have never been in a fight, but have watched a lot of videos, and they do the same thing every time.
00:53:30.000 They go, what?
00:53:31.000 What's up, bitch?
00:53:32.000 The fuck you're going to do, bitch?
00:53:34.000 And then they'll slap a giant guy.
00:53:36.000 Now, this guy obviously does security.
00:53:38.000 If he doesn't do it at this particular establishment, he does it somewhere.
00:53:41.000 And he's keeping everyone calm.
00:53:42.000 The guy in front of the green dude is the one doing all like, get the fuck out, get out.
00:53:47.000 You're not welcome in here.
00:53:48.000 And the drunk girls, is there anything worse than drunk girls?
00:53:52.000 The drunk girls want to kick some ass.
00:53:55.000 How many times have we seen this?
00:53:57.000 I didn't like the girl.
00:53:58.000 Oh, you don't even know my mom.
00:53:59.000 What are you talking about, my mom?
00:54:02.000 And I obviously don't think you should ever hit a woman, but when a woman hits a man, sometimes he just goes into muscle memory.
00:54:08.000 And you accidentally will punch back.
00:54:12.000 You get fight or flight.
00:54:13.000 You just go boom, bang.
00:54:15.000 Which is what happens here.
00:54:16.000 I'm not going to be out.
00:54:19.000 Man, I've just got to like you shoot, man.
00:54:26.000 Hey, hey, mind the balls.
00:54:28.000 Mind the balls.
00:54:29.000 Here it is.
00:54:31.000 Fuck you, little cup.
00:54:33.000 Hey!
00:54:34.000 This is me.
00:54:36.000 No, that was not, man.
00:54:37.000 That was not on.
00:54:38.000 That was not on.
00:54:39.000 No, the guy in the green just fucked over some girl.
00:54:42.000 So she kicks him, he pushed her back, then she punches him.
00:54:47.000 He's fucking fast and furious.
00:54:49.000 Can you go back?
00:54:51.000 So that's what I meant about muscle memory.
00:54:55.000 Bang, boom.
00:54:57.000 It's one second.
00:54:58.000 He gets it, and then he returns it without even thinking.
00:55:02.000 Was that glass pre-broken?
00:55:04.000 It does appear to have some cracks, yeah.
00:55:09.000 Holy shit.
00:55:14.000 And then their outrage.
00:55:15.000 What the fuck?
00:55:15.000 You just hit a woman.
00:55:16.000 What are you doing?
00:55:20.000 And here's some black pussy passes revoked.
00:55:24.000 This woman shoves a guy's face.
00:55:26.000 This particular clip actually inspired this entire green screen segment.
00:55:31.000 Ryan, this backdrop looks like a used cigarette wall.
00:55:36.000 It just reminds me of the teacher's lounge in the 70s.
00:55:39.000 Why did you choose such a gross cigarette stained color?
00:55:45.000 See, isn't that nicer?
00:55:47.000 It's so much more professional.
00:55:50.000 His bitch ass.
00:55:53.000 If your girls be like, yeah, my brother is slapping the kid.
00:55:55.000 So what's your name?
00:55:56.000 I just want to know if I'm intimidating your baby.
00:55:58.000 I'm just saying.
00:56:00.000 So Mike, why are you able to go smacking me at noise for me?
00:56:07.000 Was her hair up?
00:56:09.000 And then it was down?
00:56:13.000 She knocked her ponytails off.
00:56:15.000 I'm just saying.
00:56:17.000 So Mike, why are you too able to go smacking me at noise for me?
00:56:24.000 Yeah, I did.
00:56:24.000 He undid her hair.
00:56:25.000 He undid her hair.
00:56:27.000 Holy shit.
00:56:29.000 How long it takes her to do that hair too?
00:56:31.000 Shame.
00:56:32.000 Well, the wig comes with it done up like that.
00:56:35.000 And then here's the last one.
00:56:36.000 Another black chick has her pussy pass revoked on the train.
00:56:40.000 I don't advocate for this, but it is funny to watch.
00:56:43.000 Like, where do they get this attitude?
00:56:46.000 Don't touch me, bitch.
00:56:49.000 I'm taking my pen.
00:56:54.000 Did he say, don't ask me for a pen?
00:56:56.000 Don't touch me.
00:56:57.000 Don't touch me, bitch.
00:56:59.000 Don't touch me, bitch.
00:57:02.000 Don't ask me for a pen?
00:57:04.000 Maybe don't ask me.
00:57:06.000 Yeah, that doesn't make sense.
00:57:09.000 Excuse me, nigga.
00:57:09.000 You got a pen?
00:57:10.000 Don't ask me for a pen.
00:57:12.000 What, bitch?
00:57:12.000 You think you can't give me a motherfucking pen?
00:57:21.000 Jesus Christ.
00:57:22.000 What a country you live in.
00:57:24.000 All right, that's enough.
00:57:28.000 Ring my bell.
00:57:32.000 You can be my bell.
00:57:36.000 Ring my bell.
00:57:37.000 Licky, licky, licky when the dick gets sticky.
00:57:40.000 Excuse me?
00:57:42.000 What?
00:57:43.000 That's not in the song at all.
00:57:46.000 I like to licky licky when the dick gets sticky.
00:57:49.000 Oh, my.
00:57:50.000 I've done that.
00:57:51.000 And women don't like that.
00:57:54.000 Turns out.
00:57:54.000 No.
00:57:55.000 They think it's horrendous.
00:57:58.000 I think the word horrendous is horrendous.
00:58:00.000 It's almost worse than atrocious.
00:58:01.000 Did you see this though?
00:58:03.000 Because we mentioned it before.
00:58:05.000 Oh, yeah.
00:58:06.000 The Avi Yamini.
00:58:08.000 Let's see.
00:58:11.000 Oh, cool.
00:58:12.000 That's not cool.
00:58:13.000 That's not cool.
00:58:14.000 It looks like a swirling thing because someone's internet has not worked out.
00:58:20.000 Are those Let's Go Brandon shirts we have?
00:58:22.000 Is there a large and a medium?
00:58:25.000 I think it's...
00:58:26.000 I have an extra match.
00:58:27.000 I want to wear it Thursday night.
00:58:31.000 This is cool, Ryan.
00:58:32.000 Thank you for contributing to the show.
00:58:33.000 This is a fight, isn't it?
00:58:36.000 Okay.
00:58:36.000 Here we go.
00:58:37.000 A lot of language here, so be careful.
00:58:40.000 Listen, I hate you.
00:58:43.000 Don't touch me, man.
00:58:46.000 Fuck up!
00:58:51.000 Cut to the juice.
00:59:03.000 Why are you so close to me?
00:59:05.000 There's social distancing.
00:59:10.000 What did you just call her?
00:59:11.000 What did you just call her?
00:59:15.000 What did you call her?
00:59:17.000 Why did you call her?
00:59:20.000 Don't touch me.
00:59:24.000 Don't touch me.
00:59:26.000 Get back.
00:59:27.000 What are you going to fucking do?
00:59:29.000 I won't touch you, Wayne.
00:59:30.000 I'm standing in a public pocket.
00:59:36.000 What's with his hair?
00:59:39.000 He's a bald guy with green and purple cloth dreads.
00:59:41.000 He's a predator.
00:59:44.000 Get your fuck out of my space, you fucking piece of shit.
00:59:47.000 Let's just enjoy the night.
00:59:48.000 You fucking punk.
00:59:51.000 Leska, look at you.
00:59:52.000 Leska.
00:59:54.000 You fucking happy?
00:59:55.000 This is what you say that's a good thing to do.
00:59:57.000 Look at you.
00:59:58.000 I'm gonna pick on the girl.
00:59:59.000 I can pick whoever I want, you fucking piece of shit.
01:00:03.000 Look at me.
01:00:06.000 You like to pick fights.
01:00:10.000 What if you come here?
01:00:12.000 I'm interviewing this approach.
01:00:14.000 What are you doing here?
01:00:15.000 What am I doing about fucking having dinner here?
01:00:17.000 You're fucking screaming at me, mate.
01:00:19.000 Do anyone want to talk to you at all?
01:00:21.000 Does anyone want to talk to you at all?
01:00:24.000 Does anyone want to talk at all?
01:00:26.000 Fuck up!
01:00:27.000 Stand up!
01:00:28.000 Yes!
01:00:29.000 That's the best one.
01:00:31.000 Stand back.
01:00:31.000 Fucking hit me again.
01:00:32.000 Stand back me again, you fucking cast me.
01:00:34.000 Standard!
01:00:38.000 Which was all these accents?
01:00:40.000 I don't know.
01:00:41.000 I think he was like a German guy or something like that.
01:00:45.000 He was speaking German at you like you knew it.
01:00:47.000 Yeah, he's a weird bloke.
01:00:49.000 And then he starts yelling at the girl.
01:00:52.000 And I'm like, get out of here.
01:00:56.000 Fucking weird eye.
01:00:58.000 Get out of here.
01:00:59.000 Get out of here, you fucking weird eye.
01:01:02.000 You're coming in my pussy, are you fucking gessl?
01:01:06.000 So is that bodyguard getting charged or some bullshit?
01:01:11.000 I think so.
01:01:13.000 So it's all on tape.
01:01:19.000 Up close as possible.com to help cover Daniel's fees because without him by my side, unfortunately.
01:01:29.000 No, I don't think it's legal fees, so I think he gets away with that because there's also a video that the other guy touched him first.
01:01:35.000 Yeah, plenty of that.
01:01:37.000 Tons of it.
01:01:37.000 So what's he need money for?
01:01:39.000 Just to support him, like to so that way he can hire him the guy.
01:01:43.000 So you don't know with me.
01:01:44.000 You don't know, do you?
01:01:45.000 No, I don't.
01:01:47.000 Okay.
01:01:50.000 Let's just do a quick racism before we jump into the male B. Okay.
01:01:57.000 I'm a black female.
01:01:59.000 What other different...
01:02:00.000 What else could I have done to piss you off?
01:02:03.000 Black woman?
01:02:05.000 This is really inconvenient.
01:02:20.000 So you've seen this old thing with Gondoliza Rice on the view.
01:02:23.000 Everyone's so confused by black female conservatives.
01:02:26.000 It's amazing that the left gives them so much power.
01:02:28.000 Candace Owens is a great commentator.
01:02:30.000 She's an intelligent woman and an invaluable asset to the right.
01:02:34.000 But why is she so invaluable?
01:02:36.000 Is she particularly witty?
01:02:39.000 No?
01:02:39.000 Pretty normal.
01:02:41.000 She's like Elijah Schaefer.
01:02:43.000 But with a slightly more black focus when it comes to pop culture.
01:02:47.000 But because the left put all their eggs in the female black voices basket, when one of them talks out of term and one of their pets misbehave, they don't know what to do.
01:02:57.000 Because they've been screaming, listen to black women again and again.
01:03:01.000 Like Ashley Marie Preston, who isn't even a woman.
01:03:05.000 So she was on the view and she said, no, go back.
01:03:11.000 2-5.
01:03:14.000 Oh, no, 2-6.
01:03:15.000 2-6.
01:03:16.000 She said, it's a long thing, we're not going to show the whole thing, but she said, seven-year-old white kids shouldn't be made to feel ashamed of themselves.
01:03:23.000 They haven't done anything wrong.
01:03:24.000 And January 6th was not a big deal.
01:03:27.000 Calm down.
01:03:28.000 It was trespassing.
01:03:33.000 Well, she did say it was bad, but she said, not this bad.
01:03:35.000 Calm down.
01:03:37.000 What Senator McConnell may be referencing is, yes, it's time to move on in a lot of ways.
01:03:42.000 I'm one who believes that the American people are now concerned about their, what we call, kitchen table issues, the price of gasoline, inflation.
01:03:52.000 We've got to move on to the next generation, the move ahead and deal with the American people's issues.
01:03:59.000 It's really politically expedient for Mitch McConnell to say, let's move on and let's move on.
01:04:04.000 The problem is that PASC will become prologue if we don't find out exactly what happened January 1st.
01:04:09.000 And we will.
01:04:10.000 It's not the time right now.
01:04:12.000 PASS will become prologue.
01:04:13.000 We must find out.
01:04:14.000 We must find out.
01:04:15.000 We will find out.
01:04:16.000 We will find out.
01:04:17.000 But I'm going to tell you, I live in California, not Washington, D.C. And the American people do have other concerns that we ought to be thinking about and talking about.
01:04:25.000 Respectfully.
01:04:26.000 And so, well, let me finish that, Sonny.
01:04:29.000 I also know that as a government and as a country, we've got to be concerned about the things that are making life hard for Americans and hard for American families.
01:04:40.000 First of all, parents ought to be involved in their children's education.
01:04:44.000 Their children are in school seven hours.
01:04:46.000 That's a very formative period.
01:04:48.000 And I think parents ought to have a say.
01:04:50.000 We used to have parent-teacher conferences.
01:04:52.000 We used to have PTAs.
01:04:54.000 There are lots of ways for parents to be involved, and they should be.
01:04:57.000 My parents never thought I was going to grow up in a world without prejudice, but they also told me that's somebody else's problem, not yours.
01:05:03.000 You're going to overcome it.
01:05:04.000 Perfect.
01:05:05.000 And you are going to be anything you want to be.
01:05:07.000 Yeah, what a strange phenomenon.
01:05:09.000 Like, say racism was everywhere.
01:05:11.000 And outside of it rearing its ugly head and cross burnings, whatever, just knowing that the guy over there hates you.
01:05:17.000 Yeah, that's been my life.
01:05:19.000 Everywhere I go, I know that there's two or three people.
01:05:21.000 Even when I was in eighth grade, anyone who has a sort of outgoing personality and is noteworthy, class clown or whatever it is, punk rocker, magazine publisher, you're going to have enemies.
01:05:36.000 Who gives a shit?
01:05:38.000 Like that person over there.
01:05:39.000 It's like that Jewish guy at the bar who said, has sent his friend over to tell me that he feels unsafe with me in the bar.
01:05:47.000 Because I regularly murder upper middle class Jewish men as they play pool.
01:05:54.000 Who?
01:05:55.000 What's that?
01:05:56.000 Say that again.
01:05:57.000 What other people think about you is none of your business.
01:06:01.000 What people say about you behind your back is none of your business.
01:06:05.000 These Turks with their stupid amulets that have an eye on them and it's to prevent the evil eye and from people gossiping about you, that's an integral part of your culture.
01:06:16.000 That's gay.
01:06:20.000 Oh no, someone's speaking about me.
01:06:22.000 Anyway, you heard Condoleezza, right?
01:06:25.000 Totally reasonable stuff.
01:06:26.000 Boring, actually.
01:06:28.000 I mean, I'm not watching that whole video.
01:06:29.000 It's redundant.
01:06:31.000 She's in big shit with the black community, especially the retarded black community like Ture.
01:06:37.000 I love how black he is, right?
01:06:39.000 He did his PhD on prince.
01:06:42.000 Not the monarch, the performer.
01:06:45.000 And you see him get tossed around like a hot potato, sort of like our buddy Mark Lamont Hill.
01:06:52.000 And I think that's an indication that someone is really hard to work with.
01:06:56.000 Now, I've been fired from every job I've ever had.
01:06:58.000 Maybe I'm hard to work with too.
01:07:01.000 Maybe I'm just as bad as Ture.
01:07:03.000 God.
01:07:04.000 What are you doing, mom and dad?
01:07:06.000 With his bachelor's degree, formerly known as Prince.
01:07:11.000 He ain't black.
01:07:12.000 He's shameful.
01:07:14.000 You know, Lord said that you can't trust a woman, but he act like a woman.
01:07:18.000 He got some motion, though.
01:07:20.000 Baylor.
01:07:23.000 Condoleezza Rice's CRT stance proves.
01:07:27.000 No debating here.
01:07:28.000 We're done.
01:07:30.000 Proves she's a foot soldier for white supremacy.
01:07:33.000 And that, of course, is hot off the presses of the Griot.
01:07:38.000 What the fuck is the Griot?
01:07:41.000 Boy, you know all names are taken when you come up with a new news company called The Griot.
01:07:47.000 The Grio?
01:07:49.000 Griot TV.
01:07:50.000 I don't know what's on it, but they have a schedule here.
01:07:53.000 Okay, let's watch some.
01:07:54.000 Continent comes to Harlem.
01:07:56.000 Digsown.
01:07:57.000 Number one with a bullet.
01:07:59.000 Range.
01:07:59.000 Okay, nice thumbnails, Grio.
01:08:01.000 Yeah.
01:08:02.000 Can we see some of your shit?
01:08:03.000 This shit looks incomplete.
01:08:04.000 Is this like Universal trying to do a Hulu?
01:08:08.000 Oh, look.
01:08:08.000 They even got white people in there, too.
01:08:11.000 Okay, I want to watch one of your shows, Grio.
01:08:14.000 Okay, why?
01:08:16.000 Global newsmakers live on the Grio TV.
01:08:19.000 News, movies, and the biggest names in entertainment.
01:08:22.000 You got things for 100.
01:08:24.000 Black culture amplified.
01:08:26.000 Why am Tam Grio?
01:08:27.000 I'm papa.
01:08:29.000 Black culture.
01:08:30.000 I'm papa.
01:08:31.000 News and it's just Kamala's face.
01:08:35.000 Imagine we had to always fall back on white news.
01:08:39.000 How much of a loser you'd look like?
01:08:41.000 Like, say you, you kept getting fired and pushed away, and you kept doing things on the Japanese Puerto Rican community.
01:08:48.000 Yeah.
01:08:48.000 We just go, Ryan doesn't have a life outside of his racial identity.
01:08:52.000 Everybody got their beat, Gavin.
01:08:57.000 Mark Lamont Hill is doing Black News Tonight.
01:09:01.000 That's his griot.
01:09:02.000 That's his grift.
01:09:03.000 Black News Tonight.
01:09:04.000 Wouldn't it be funny if a mainstream source like CNN or 60 Minutes goes, it was said earlier on Black News Tonight that the white man had been stewing ever since Martin Luther King was killed.
01:09:17.000 They wish they had done it.
01:09:19.000 Black News Tonight.
01:09:26.000 You want to hear my theory on Mark Lamont Hill?
01:09:29.000 So he's not good at math, and he thinks Jews run the country.
01:09:33.000 They're in trouble.
01:09:34.000 But instead of that making him mad, he goes, I want to be part of a group that runs the country.
01:09:38.000 Is it Masons?
01:09:40.000 And then he sees Nation of Islam around and he goes, oh, it's Muslims.
01:09:45.000 Okay, I'm going to be Muslim.
01:09:46.000 So he converts to Islam silently.
01:09:48.000 Remember, he wouldn't admit it on our show, but he's definitely a Muslim.
01:09:51.000 Right, he wouldn't answer that, yeah.
01:09:53.000 He's got like a 1% thing on his Twitter background.
01:09:56.000 He's a Muslim.
01:09:58.000 But when I told him that Muslims are 1% of the population, he laughed in my face.
01:10:06.000 And other African leaders?
01:10:07.000 Was that me saying that?
01:10:08.000 No, him.
01:10:09.000 Two.
01:10:10.000 That's multiple.
01:10:10.000 Okay, sorry.
01:10:12.000 You do get how that works, right?
01:10:14.000 Touche.
01:10:15.000 Touche.
01:10:16.000 Before I had to say that.
01:10:17.000 That's one thing he got me on.
01:10:18.000 Kill everyone.
01:10:19.000 I don't give a shit.
01:10:19.000 Yeah, we had to scour for that so that way he was like, you know, didn't look at the teaser and was like, oh no.
01:10:24.000 Not mad.
01:10:26.000 I defer to Roger on this.
01:10:28.000 That's an easy thing.
01:10:28.000 But yeah, so he thinks Muslims control America the same way in his mind Jews run America.
01:10:34.000 So he goes, I can't be on the second group.
01:10:36.000 I'll be on the first group.
01:10:37.000 And then he's like, okay, Farrakhan, get me a fancy job at CNN.
01:10:41.000 And they're like, we could help you maybe get on BET.
01:10:45.000 Black news tonight.
01:10:47.000 Before this, he was doing a black coffee show, and it was a pop gossip show that I think was on Instagram.
01:10:54.000 Like OP Hughes.
01:10:57.000 Black news tonight.
01:10:58.000 What a fucking joke.
01:11:00.000 All right, let's jump over to the fucking mailbag.
01:11:02.000 Mm-hmm.
01:11:03.000 Mm-hmm.
01:11:03.000 Uh-huh.
01:11:04.000 Uh-huh.
01:11:09.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
01:11:14.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
01:11:19.000 Let me touch it.
01:11:23.000 Dem fucking gays, says this guy.
01:11:26.000 I believe I just expounded on a thought and had one of those moments in life where you have a complete Change of view.
01:11:30.000 I think we can attribute all the cockery we see with mainstreaming trans people as sane, normal, regular people to the initial normalization of gays and lesbians.
01:11:39.000 I would argue with you, sir, and say that this feminization of men goes back to indie rock and sort of like post-emo soft indie grunge where they'd have like baggy pants on and a cardigan and they go drinking lemon with like a baggy beanie and little fingerless gloves with painted nails.
01:12:00.000 This is a dude I'm talking about.
01:12:02.000 Drinking lemonade that some grade school students made lying in the sun and thinking I got paid.
01:12:10.000 Well, maybe he's gay.
01:12:11.000 You ever thought of that?
01:12:12.000 Like I'm a jerk.
01:12:13.000 I'm a weirdo with Radiohead, all this like indie cute boy stuff.
01:12:19.000 You could argue it started back then.
01:12:22.000 But yeah.
01:12:24.000 And I can't get over the thought that a lot of these playing characters, like young boys, always play Fortnite as a chick.
01:12:33.000 Because apparently she's got a thinner waist and she's harder to hit.
01:12:37.000 So, I mean, Ryan does this too.
01:12:39.000 You're looking at a dude being a woman.
01:12:41.000 You were a woman in that dragon game.
01:12:43.000 There's no choice.
01:12:45.000 Well, that says everything right there.
01:12:48.000 I have no choice.
01:12:49.000 If you went to a men's store and they only had women's pants, you'd go, this is not a men's store.
01:12:54.000 But you're like, this is awesome.
01:12:55.000 I'm sexy.
01:12:56.000 Let me roll down a hill with the spear in my hand.
01:12:59.000 My never said he was sexy.
01:13:01.000 He had to play as a woman because the video game system, they got them all wrapped up in the trappings and the video game controllers.
01:13:10.000 It was too big for your thumbs.
01:13:15.000 I mean, you can't build a fire without a match, right?
01:13:16.000 Have I gone Arab?
01:13:17.000 Because now I'm kind of regretting the whole fuck who you want to sentiment I've carried my entire life.
01:13:22.000 Perhaps it was a bad idea from the start.
01:13:24.000 Do you think there's a rational way of correcting this social blunder?
01:13:26.000 Or are we age-level fucked?
01:13:28.000 Well, don't worry about rescuing 100% of society, but you can rescue yourself.
01:13:34.000 And the way you do that is put a ring on it.
01:13:38.000 You've done a lot of fucking, dude.
01:13:40.000 A whole lot of fucking.
01:13:42.000 And now it's time to get serious and do a new chapter in your life.
01:13:46.000 Put a ring on it.
01:13:47.000 You're not going to get better than her.
01:13:48.000 She's great.
01:13:50.000 If you're having any doubts, read The Curmudgeon's Guide to Getting Ahead by Charles Murray, and he will tell you the basic rules for deciding if she's the one.
01:13:59.000 But let me just tell you she is.
01:14:01.000 You're not looking for a soulmate, okay?
01:14:04.000 She doesn't have to be perfect.
01:14:05.000 You end up seeing the guys you work with more than your wife.
01:14:09.000 I don't see my wife that much.
01:14:11.000 Saturdays and Sundays, my kids usually have baseball, and we don't sit together.
01:14:15.000 I sit with the dads, and she sits with the moms.
01:14:18.000 So it's not like you're tied at the hip.
01:14:23.000 I'm not selling marriage very well, am I?
01:14:27.000 What if you had a game called Baseball, where every time you hit the ball, you're like 13% of the population commits for you?
01:14:35.000 Hey, young folks, the dude who caught the arm sleeve was a country bumpkin who didn't give a fuck about basketball.
01:14:40.000 And the entire game, he was talking shit about the Lakers, and specifically Kobe.
01:14:45.000 Oh.
01:14:49.000 That's why people were cheering because they didn't want him to get the shirt.
01:14:54.000 That changes everything.
01:14:57.000 And I'm sorry.
01:14:58.000 Can you just show everyone what we're talking about in case they didn't see yesterday's episode?
01:15:02.000 When he catches the sleeve, his reaction is, fuck, I don't deserve this.
01:15:05.000 His cousins, who were there with him, laugh ironically and are almost okay with someone stealing it until they realize, oh yeah, we're Lakers fans.
01:15:12.000 Fucking women.
01:15:14.000 This is him saying that.
01:15:15.000 I am too.
01:15:16.000 That's when they try and help him get it back.
01:15:18.000 In that case, celebration from the final recipients is totally warranted.
01:15:24.000 Love the show.
01:15:25.000 Can't wait to support my new Let's Go Brandon merch.
01:15:28.000 Have you got it yet?
01:15:30.000 No, let's see.
01:15:30.000 I got a search by you.
01:15:33.000 Yesterday's show.
01:15:34.000 Why are you just starting now when I asked you to pull it up a minute ago?
01:15:36.000 I've been.
01:15:37.000 I've been.
01:15:39.000 Okay.
01:15:40.000 It was final video.
01:15:41.000 Oh, no, it was the green screen.
01:15:42.000 Hey, Gavin and Ryan, I had the same thought as you during yesterday's dad's on duty clip.
01:15:47.000 Don't you guys work?
01:15:48.000 There's something you missed, though.
01:15:51.000 Oh, so that's why he's laughing because he's been talking shit the whole game.
01:15:58.000 I get it.
01:16:01.000 That changes everything.
01:16:07.000 So it's just a sleeve?
01:16:09.000 I don't want Kobe's sleeve.
01:16:12.000 What do you do?
01:16:12.000 Frame it?
01:16:15.000 That's gay.
01:16:17.000 Having a big frame thing.
01:16:19.000 I guess you write Kobe on the glass or something.
01:16:23.000 Yeah, so the dads who volunteer to hang out at the schools, which made us go, aren't you unemployed?
01:16:29.000 The interviewer asks, do any of you have a degree in school counseling or criminal justice?
01:16:34.000 And he says that kind of proves how useless the school counselor is at handling children misbehaving because there is someone there whose job is that.
01:16:44.000 And they fucking fucked up.
01:16:45.000 Okay, now I'm going way down, Ryan, to Taco Bell.
01:16:51.000 Whoops.
01:16:51.000 I just deleted it.
01:16:54.000 Hey, Kweef Squad.
01:16:55.000 I created a GoFundMe so Ryan can get his Taco Bell fixed without angering his wife.
01:17:01.000 Just want to say, I get it.
01:17:02.000 My wife tried to tell me that I couldn't spend money on fast food and I nicely...
01:17:06.000 What the fuck?
01:17:08.000 It vanished.
01:17:10.000 I got it.
01:17:14.000 These brand new computers, you touch one thing and it goes to another universe.
01:17:19.000 That's hilarious.
01:17:20.000 I just want to say, I get it.
01:17:21.000 My wife tried to tell me that I couldn't spend money on fast food and I nicely said, I don't tell you what to spend money on, and I make a majority of it.
01:17:27.000 Love you more than a friend.
01:17:28.000 So this is his GoFundMe.
01:17:30.000 It has a $5 goal.
01:17:35.000 That's hurtful.
01:17:36.000 So yeah, that's enough for a burrito box.
01:17:39.000 Hi, I'm a fellow baby monster, and I'm attempting to help Ryan raise money for Taco Bell or potentially money to cover his testicle treatment surgery, a reattachment surgery.
01:17:48.000 I know based off his picture, it appears that he no longer needs fast food or food in general, but with your small donation, you can help feed a underprivileged Japrikan man that has long lived under the abuse of the white man.
01:17:59.000 It is un and underprivileged, sir.
01:18:05.000 Check this out.
01:18:05.000 Somebody made you a cat.
01:18:09.000 Where's Hip Turd?
01:18:11.000 I don't get that.
01:18:13.000 Maybe there's a, like, where's Clifford or something?
01:18:15.000 He's calling me Hip Turd.
01:18:17.000 And then somebody also asks you about the sprinkles.
01:18:22.000 Let's see.
01:18:23.000 Let's see if you're sprinkling us with sprinkles.
01:18:26.000 By the way, we are at 100% not sprinkles right when baby monsters send in a sprinkle.
01:18:30.000 Hey, Anakin.
01:18:31.000 What?
01:18:31.000 Shut up.
01:18:32.000 Don't call me that anymore.
01:18:32.000 I'm on the Dart side.
01:18:33.000 You can call me Dar.
01:18:34.000 I cut off his hand so easily.
01:18:35.000 You stormtroopers suck.
01:18:36.000 Who are you?
01:18:36.000 I'm the guy that does his job.
01:18:37.000 You must be the other guy.
01:18:38.000 I'm fing Darth Veda.
01:18:39.000 What are you talking about?
01:18:39.000 I don't want to see the Emperor today.
01:18:40.000 He freaks me out.
01:18:41.000 It's on your schedule.
01:18:42.000 Darn it!
01:18:43.000 I think it's almost happened.
01:18:44.000 Mark Wahlberg is Darth Veda.
01:18:45.000 Hey, Anakin.
01:18:45.000 What?
01:18:46.000 Okay, that was really good.
01:18:47.000 Mark Wahlberg is...
01:18:49.000 I'm not sure that with impressions, though, that you talk about sprinkles.
01:18:53.000 Sprinkles is specifically comedy and funniness.
01:18:56.000 Ryan Reynolds getting robbed by Mark Wahlberg.
01:18:58.000 I'm getting robbed by Mark Wahlberg.
01:18:59.000 Hey, put your hands up and give me a wallet.
01:19:01.000 Here you go.
01:19:02.000 Your voice sounds very familiar.
01:19:04.000 That's impossible.
01:19:04.000 I've never met you.
01:19:05.000 Well, I guess I'm wrong.
01:19:06.000 Bye, Mark.
01:19:07.000 See you later, Ryan.
01:19:08.000 Give me back the wallet, Mark.
01:19:09.000 John's gonna kill me.
01:19:10.000 We were gonna make you pay for our Chipotle tonight.
01:19:12.000 Here's Ryan Reynolds getting robbed.
01:19:14.000 Pretty funny.
01:19:15.000 What do you think, Ryan?
01:19:17.000 That's your feel.
01:19:17.000 He's good at the impressions.
01:19:19.000 The Ryan Reynolds is pretty good.
01:19:21.000 It's kind of you.
01:19:23.000 Yeah, we're both Canucks.
01:19:24.000 Oh, that's right.
01:19:25.000 Dear G, I met him once at a wedding, and I had heard that he didn't have a stag.
01:19:31.000 And I'm like, dude, you're Canadian.
01:19:33.000 That's our bachelor party.
01:19:34.000 Oh, you need a fucking stag.
01:19:36.000 It's like, yeah, okay.
01:19:37.000 I just didn't get around to it.
01:19:38.000 Get a stag, Fag.
01:19:39.000 I'll fucking hook you up.
01:19:41.000 And then it never happened.
01:19:43.000 Dear G-Unit and Yin-Yang Fagstein.
01:19:47.000 Loving the content you guys have been putting out recently.
01:19:49.000 Real quality Gav.
01:19:50.000 I know you're not a fan of Scotch whiskey, but did you know that Jack and Victor of Still Game have their own bottle?
01:19:55.000 Even though I'm Scottish like you, I prefer bourbon over Scotch.
01:19:58.000 Yeah.
01:19:59.000 It would be a cool bottle to own.
01:20:00.000 I'm mad at fucking Maddie Odell for not watching Still Game.
01:20:04.000 I'm going to send him a text and say, if you don't watch Still Game, we're no longer friends.
01:20:08.000 I think it's on Netflix.
01:20:10.000 Yes, it is, shithead.
01:20:12.000 Well, that makes it easy.
01:20:13.000 I could watch it.
01:20:14.000 Yeah, Me too?
01:20:15.000 Nope.
01:20:15.000 I don't care about you.
01:20:16.000 What the fudge?
01:20:19.000 Oh, this one was crazy.
01:20:21.000 Bank policing speech.
01:20:23.000 So let me just phrase this correctly.
01:20:25.000 Here is an example of the bank policing speech.
01:20:29.000 Hello, pussy and faggot.
01:20:30.000 I'll let you all decide which is which.
01:20:32.000 My small bank, my small local bank is now censoring my speech.
01:20:35.000 This got under my skin more than it should, but I'm trying to do the just enjoy it thing and get right with the Lord.
01:20:42.000 But nothing about this makes any logical sense.
01:20:45.000 Nothing about this is, quote unquote, offensive.
01:20:49.000 As a person who has been debanked yourself, you know of any free speech banks?
01:20:53.000 I find it absurd and comical that I ever have to ask this question in America.
01:20:57.000 I'm in the middle of Florida.
01:20:59.000 So those are his two accounts, and then he just puts in the description, you know, the thing.
01:21:03.000 And because that's an example of Joe Biden sounding stupid, it's now hate speech.
01:21:10.000 So does that mean he's copyrighted the, you know, the thing?
01:21:13.000 You can't say that anymore?
01:21:17.000 They want access to your bank accounts now.
01:21:19.000 It's in that budget bill.
01:21:21.000 Anybody over $600 in their bank account, they want to be able to monitor and shit like that.
01:21:26.000 It's a Biden proposal.
01:21:27.000 Everyone but kids with a paper root.
01:21:30.000 There we go.
01:21:31.000 Biden proposal to give the IRS access to your bank account.
01:21:35.000 Equity across.
01:21:36.000 Here's a correction, Ryan.
01:21:38.000 Once again, you're wrong, even when you're positive, you're right.
01:21:41.000 Mac Mini 2014.
01:21:43.000 So it does say it's a 2014 model, but it wasn't manufactured in 2014.
01:21:48.000 I bought a brand new one in 2018, and it still says it's a late 2014 model.
01:21:53.000 So Ryan, you're right, but mostly wrong.
01:21:55.000 It's a brand new mini, but labeled different.
01:21:58.000 Oh.
01:21:58.000 Well, it's not brand new.
01:22:00.000 This is a couple years old.
01:22:01.000 But yes, I get you.
01:22:02.000 Yeah, see, that's what he does.
01:22:04.000 It's not brand new.
01:22:05.000 He obviously.
01:22:06.000 It's factually not brand new.
01:22:08.000 Yeah.
01:22:08.000 And then now that's just erased because he added ambiguity.
01:22:11.000 No, no, no.
01:22:12.000 So now it's like, it wasn't 2014.
01:22:14.000 It was a little bit later.
01:22:16.000 That's correct.
01:22:17.000 It's still a couple years old.
01:22:18.000 Yeah, that wasn't our argument.
01:22:19.000 And Apple age.
01:22:20.000 The argument was 2014.
01:22:22.000 Apple's age like not one.
01:22:23.000 Now you're changing it again.
01:22:25.000 Now you have a new one.
01:22:26.000 Now it's like, it doesn't matter.
01:22:28.000 Two years old is the same as five years old.
01:22:30.000 2016.
01:22:32.000 Let's say.
01:22:32.000 No, I won't say that.
01:22:34.000 17?
01:22:34.000 18.
01:22:36.000 More like 18.
01:22:37.000 At least four years old.
01:22:38.000 Yeah, but that wasn't the argument.
01:22:42.000 Anyway, I just thought the left couldn't get any worse.
01:22:44.000 Hey, Gavin Ryga, look at this video of a Democrat trying to use the same vibes.
01:22:48.000 Wait, I think we saw this yesterday.
01:22:52.000 Yeah, we did this yesterday.
01:22:55.000 We covered that yesterday.
01:22:57.000 Yes.
01:22:58.000 Okay, I think we're all caught up, dude.
01:22:59.000 This is the first.
01:23:00.000 Dang.
01:23:01.000 Damn.
01:23:02.000 All right, let's get to the final vid.
01:23:10.000 Diamonds alright and the show was pretty tight.
01:23:13.000 So we gon' have a show with a fun video.
01:23:20.000 28.
01:23:21.000 It's already been broke.
01:23:26.000 Let's see what we got.
01:23:28.000 Here behind the flashing TVs.
01:23:31.000 Ready to go.
01:23:33.000 Oh yeah, this is in the Britain.
01:23:34.000 So someone, this goes back to what I was saying about community.
01:23:37.000 So you see someone stealing a scooter.
01:23:39.000 It's not yours.
01:23:40.000 You confront the boys.
01:23:42.000 Now, I think the logical thing to do is to just get up, grab a handle of the scooter, shove them.
01:23:48.000 You don't have to fight little kids.
01:23:50.000 You don't have to ring their bell.
01:23:52.000 But he at least verbally confronts them.
01:23:55.000 I mean, at this point, I'll take it.
01:23:58.000 In some northern English town.
01:24:02.000 Why are you stealing it though?
01:24:03.000 We're not stealing it, mate.
01:24:04.000 It's already been broke.
01:24:08.000 You just nicked off the hospital.
01:24:10.000 It's already been broke.
01:24:11.000 It's been there for years.
01:24:13.000 Yeah, it's 21, mate.
01:24:14.000 What are you lying for?
01:24:16.000 You didn't stole this bike, mate.
01:24:18.000 Why are you putting this in?
01:24:22.000 Oh, he chased him on foot.
01:24:27.000 You made a loser.
01:24:31.000 So he broke his finger there.
01:24:32.000 Call the police, mate.
01:24:33.000 Call the police.
01:24:34.000 They just robbed that bike.
01:24:36.000 Call the police!
01:24:37.000 I just robbed that bike.
01:24:38.000 My finger, lad.
01:24:39.000 My finger.
01:24:40.000 Call the police, mate.
01:24:42.000 I think it's hanging by a thread.
01:24:44.000 Leaves his friend back there.
01:24:46.000 His big brother.
01:24:47.000 They're giving your breaking finger and fuck off.
01:24:51.000 They call the police.
01:24:52.000 My finger.
01:24:53.000 Call the police.
01:24:54.000 They just robbed that bike.
01:24:56.000 Call an abolish!
01:24:59.000 You deserve that, you bastard.
01:25:01.000 You fucking deserve that.
01:25:10.000 That car as well, you fucking damaged that car.
01:25:14.000 Fucking.
01:25:17.000 Well, shouldn't you chase him and at least throw him down?
01:25:19.000 Hold him down there with your foot?
01:25:21.000 Something?
01:25:22.000 Alright, folks, that is Tuesday's show.
01:25:25.000 Tomorrow we're in the Hawaiian shirts, rapping with Kumiya.
01:25:30.000 Thursday night, it's live as can be.
01:25:33.000 It's got that telethon coming up.
01:25:35.000 Ooh, and this weekend we've got Halloween.
01:25:39.000 I guess Friday should be our spooky episode.
01:25:42.000 What day is Halloween there?
01:25:45.000 Why guy?
01:25:46.000 I think it's Sunday.
01:25:48.000 Yeah, it's Sunday night.
01:25:50.000 It is.
01:25:51.000 So Friday's going to be our sexy show.
01:25:55.000 Prepare to get horny.
01:25:56.000 Damn.
01:25:58.000 In the meantime, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
01:26:04.000 That's singing his song.
01:26:07.000 Where these lazy women are always doing me wrong, doing me wrong.
01:26:45.000 I'm just a hot man.
01:26:48.000 Sing it in a song.