Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - November 24, 2021


S04E59 - THANKSGIVING MAILBAG 1


Episode Stats


Length

57 minutes

Words per minute

153.33914

Word count

8,794

Sentence count

1,008

Harmful content

Misogyny

48

sentences flagged

Hate speech

62

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

On this special Thanksgiving episode of Get Off My Lawn, Pritzpols shares his plans for visiting his family in upstate New York with his new baby, and Ryan gives us the lowdown on the dangers of getting sick on the road.

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:14.000 From New York, it's my one with the mother go to hell, cause I'm a piece of motherfucking hell.
00:00:53.000 Hello, folks, and welcome to this special holiday episode of Get Off My Lawn.
00:00:59.000 I'd like to greet my co-host here, Ryan Snatchu Rivero.
00:01:08.000 Welcome to the show, Ryan.
00:01:10.000 Thank you for decorating the desk.
00:01:12.000 It looks amazing.
00:01:13.000 No problem.
00:01:14.000 You did a really good job.
00:01:15.000 I'm Pritz Prouds.
00:01:17.000 What are your plans for Thanksgiving?
00:01:20.000 Go visit my family upstate with the baby.
00:01:24.000 Have them meet the baby for the first time.
00:01:27.000 Pretty exciting Thanksgiving.
00:01:28.000 So you, why haven't they met it yet?
00:01:31.000 You're worried about disease?
00:01:33.000 We haven't had time to travel.
00:01:34.000 And then also they recommend that my woman not travel in a car if she can avoid it. 0.99
00:01:40.000 Because she's still healing down there and the bumps and the sitting.
00:01:44.000 And the bumps with the sitting and the oi with the hachen and the schnutzen and the vash.
00:01:49.000 Exactly.
00:01:51.000 That's going to be cool.
00:01:52.000 So what about COVID and shit?
00:01:54.000 Oh, my grandmother was like, anybody who holds the baby will wear a mask or whatever. 0.98
00:02:00.000 But are you worried about getting her sick?
00:02:04.000 No.
00:02:06.000 Because they're all vaccinated.
00:02:08.000 I'm visiting my Mexican cousins in Chicago, and they're very sensitive.
00:02:14.000 And when I said, I'm not getting the vaccine, they sort of went, what?
00:02:19.000 Why?
00:02:20.000 Wait, you're the one who should be worried because they can still transmit it to you.
00:02:25.000 They're the only ones who won't get a bad run of it.
00:02:28.000 So he's MAGA, but he's like, I'm getting every vaccine, every booster.
00:02:35.000 Like, what do you got?
00:02:37.000 So he's cool, though.
00:02:39.000 And he just said, okay, well, I'll have COVID tests.
00:02:44.000 My company actually sells them.
00:02:46.000 So I'll test you when you walk in the door.
00:02:49.000 Because his mother, my dad's sister, is going to be there.
00:02:52.000 And she's like a million.
00:02:54.000 She's probably 80.
00:02:55.000 So I get it.
00:02:56.000 So, but what happens if you test positive, though?
00:02:58.000 They're already vaccinated, though.
00:03:00.000 So they're...
00:03:01.000 I think if I tested positive, I would avoid my aunt.
00:03:04.000 Oh, just avoid, I see.
00:03:06.000 And I might go to a hotel.
00:03:07.000 It would kill the whole trip, actually.
00:03:10.000 That's the hot thing with the kids, by the way.
00:03:12.000 Actually?
00:03:14.000 I can hear my teenage boy, the 13-year-old.
00:03:18.000 I can hear him in the room, and you can tell when he's talking to boys or girls.
00:03:21.000 Because if he's playing video games, you can hear him like, you're a fucking loser.
00:03:24.000 Yeah, fuck you, you dwarf. 1.00
00:03:26.000 Blah, blah, blah.
00:03:27.000 You piece of shit.
00:03:28.000 You couldn't fucking blah, blah. 0.94
00:03:29.000 You suck.
00:03:30.000 What do they say?
00:03:32.000 So bad.
00:03:33.000 You so bad.
00:03:35.000 And then if it's a girl, I hear, wait, actually?
00:03:39.000 Actually?
00:03:41.000 Remember those days where you'd feign interest in their bullshit?
00:03:48.000 So yeah, this is a bank show.
00:03:50.000 We'll go over the mailbag.
00:03:51.000 We'll have some fun.
00:03:53.000 I love Thanksgiving.
00:03:55.000 I hate that there's always so much food, though, that you can't, you have to like act like Mugabe and just sample a little bit of each meal.
00:04:03.000 But we won't have problems with politics.
00:04:05.000 Everyone's on the same page.
00:04:07.000 I've watched my wife get red-pilled over the past five years. 1.00
00:04:11.000 When Trump won, she was not happy.
00:04:14.000 She wanted Hillary to win. 1.00
00:04:15.000 She was a liberal, pro-choice, loved her liberal friends.
00:04:19.000 Every time I would talk about anything remotely right-wing, she'd do this, oh, here we go again.
00:04:27.000 And I remember she'd say to me, too, she's like, we're not on Fox News.
00:04:30.000 I'm not one of the guests you can yell at.
00:04:33.000 Okay.
00:04:34.000 So I waited patiently.
00:04:35.000 Then they terrorized our family and our children.
00:04:38.000 And then I think what really did it was I took her out to the West Coast, California, Northern California.
00:04:45.000 And it was all these MAGA people, investors and stuff like that, and people that I know through James O'Keefe and, you know, bigwigs in the conservative scene.
00:04:56.000 And we stayed there for a while at this house that a couple rented for us.
00:05:02.000 And she got to meet not just one or two people that were MAGA, but like a community.
00:05:08.000 So one guy's fishing and the other guy's and they're like, yeah, you leave this written house shit, blah, blah, blah.
00:05:12.000 And there's like pretty ladies there. 1.00
00:05:15.000 And she goes, oh, we're not freaks.
00:05:17.000 It's not like I'm joining the KKK and I'm going to be with a bunch of weird rednecks. 1.00
00:05:22.000 My side is like normal, loving people with families who don't dox anyone on the left or terrorize anyone and are very sympathetic and open.
00:05:32.000 And that changed her.
00:05:34.000 And now she's like, so what's going on with this?
00:05:37.000 She wanted Rittenhouse to get off scot-free.
00:05:39.000 And I hear her say things like, I wonder how my liberal friends will feel.
00:05:43.000 That's a weird thing to say to my liberal friends, not my friends.
00:05:47.000 So she goes, I wonder how my liberal friends will feel when Kenosha burns to the ground.
00:05:51.000 Right.
00:05:51.000 And I was like, welcome to the dark side, my precious.
00:05:57.000 Welcome.
00:05:58.000 I don't like bringing people in, especially family members, but you got to be careful with kids.
00:06:03.000 If you don't red pill them at all, then they're going to go with the school, which is saying systemic racism, systemic racism.
00:06:10.000 So you got to do something.
00:06:13.000 And I think a good age to start sending them little memes and stuff is like 12, 13.
00:06:21.000 Can't do zero.
00:06:22.000 I tried that and I regret it because I'm not sure where my son is on the political spectrum.
00:06:26.000 My daughter is whatever.
00:06:27.000 She's a punker. 1.00
00:06:28.000 She's long gone.
00:06:29.000 Politically.
00:06:31.000 But I'm sexist, so I don't care about that.
00:06:34.000 As long as she doesn't think her daddy's racist, we're good to go.
00:06:38.000 But yeah, Thanksgiving is a wonderful time when they come together.
00:06:42.000 Everyone tries to ruin it, call it Indigenous Day. 1.00
00:06:44.000 It's a day of thanks.
00:06:45.000 I think we got the thanks thing from the Indians.
00:06:49.000 Because in all of their rituals, almost all tribes have this thing where they give thanks to the north, they give thanks to the east, thanks to the west, they give thanks to the south.
00:06:58.000 Four corners, lots of thanks there.
00:07:01.000 I think we also got the idea of democracy from them.
00:07:03.000 And obviously, that's the Greeks originally, but the idea of like everyone gets together and picks their favorite guy to lead the group.
00:07:10.000 That's a Native American thing.
00:07:14.000 And then I also think they got getting super drunk and puking into a snowbank from the Indians. 1.00
00:07:21.000 That was originally them.
00:07:22.000 Did you know that?
00:07:23.000 No.
00:07:24.000 Yep.
00:07:24.000 I didn't know that was a thing.
00:07:26.000 That's a real curse in Canada.
00:07:28.000 There are giant freezing cold couches on 100% of the streets.
00:07:35.000 So you're super drunk.
00:07:37.000 You just want to lie down.
00:07:38.000 Then you lie down on this nice, cool, soft bed called snowbanks that immediately form to your body.
00:07:45.000 You're like, bye-bye.
00:07:47.000 Then you wake up dead.
00:07:50.000 What do you think of that, Ryan?
00:07:52.000 I didn't know that was a thing.
00:07:55.000 Yeah, it is.
00:07:56.000 We're investigating right now similar atrocities going on at Thanksgiving, a time usually spent with family to relax and eat turkey.
00:08:06.000 But our insider, Vet Veritas, has located a turkey that might be a chicken.
00:08:14.000 Okay.
00:08:15.000 So they're still hard at work, apparently.
00:08:18.000 Yeah.
00:08:18.000 Should we dive into the mailbag?
00:08:21.000 I think it's appropriate to do so on a day of this, thanks.
00:08:25.000 Right.
00:08:27.000 Oops.
00:08:28.000 Well, that's not how it works.
00:08:34.000 The reason I do these banked shows is because I don't want you to get out of the habit.
00:08:42.000 Oh, wait, we didn't explain the.
00:08:43.000 Oh, what are you doing?
00:08:44.000 Okay.
00:08:44.000 Go ahead.
00:08:47.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's male back.
00:08:52.000 Let me touch it.
00:08:55.000 Very wrinkly eyes in that photo.
00:08:58.000 Wrinkly eyes.
00:09:00.000 Eyes.
00:09:02.000 Hey, Gavin, big guy.
00:09:04.000 I thought I'd shoot you these guys' potential songs for an episode or two if you'd like to use them.
00:09:08.000 One is by this new young artist named Emil entitled This Is How I Learned to Say No.
00:09:13.000 And the other is an incredible little country ditty by the great Dwight Yoakum entitled, Turn It On, Turn It Up, Turn Me Loose.
00:09:20.000 We know that song.
00:09:21.000 I also wanted to include a pretty funny and cool Trump succession intro edit.
00:09:26.000 Could be funny to show or even potentially use as a Trump bumper.
00:09:30.000 I think it was originally supposed to be seen as negative against Trump, but I thought it was cool and showed the Trump family in a positive light.
00:09:36.000 Yeah, that's like when they show Proud Boys montages of like, they're violent.
00:09:42.000 And you see them kicking the shit out of Antifa, and it's like, thanks for the promo video.
00:09:46.000 All right, let's check out his first song.
00:09:48.000 This is how I learned to say no.
00:09:51.000 Cute, fun so far.
00:09:53.000 What do you think, Ryan?
00:09:54.000 Are you enjoying yourself?
00:09:55.000 So far, so great.
00:10:01.000 Boring, shitty, gay. 1.00
00:10:02.000 Thank you for wasting our time with that bullshit.
00:10:05.000 Dwight Yoakum, what are you, Ryan Rivera now?
00:10:08.000 We're doing our mom's favorite songs.
00:10:12.000 Does he do A Thousand Miles to Nowhere?
00:10:14.000 I love that song.
00:10:15.000 Back again.
00:10:17.000 You know, he's so sexy.
00:10:20.000 That has really turned me off.
00:10:23.000 Okay, boring.
00:10:24.000 And finally, let's see if this...
00:10:26.000 You can redeem yourself.
00:10:36.000 This is bad?
00:10:38.000 This garner?
00:10:45.000 This can't be supposed to be.
00:10:46.000 There's no way this is supposed to be bad.
00:10:58.000 Why does everyone talk about the escalator scene so much?
00:11:02.000 Including Trump.
00:11:09.000 What message is this editor sending?
00:11:12.000 Trump exists and he has sons and daughters.
00:11:18.000 And he's on big things and he owns a big place.
00:11:22.000 He's even kissed a baby.
00:11:26.000 He's breeding.
00:11:27.000 The Trumps are out there multiplying on a daily basis.
00:11:32.000 Is that what you want in your America?
00:11:34.000 More Trumps?
00:11:36.000 I don't think so.
00:11:39.000 Music's so half-assed, too.
00:11:43.000 So anyway, that sucks.
00:11:44.000 We would never use that as an intro.
00:11:46.000 It's what, nine years long?
00:11:47.000 There we go.
00:11:47.000 It says complicit.
00:11:50.000 Complicit.
00:11:51.000 Oh, so they're saying he's been in the public eye forever and you've been ignoring his evil racism?
00:11:58.000 That's actually a point on our side.
00:11:59.000 I think we're missing also that's the intro to succession.
00:12:02.000 It's a TV series and that's the, it's a parody of it.
00:12:07.000 But I guess these are bad guys or these are like scum.
00:12:12.000 Yeah, that's such a chick show, succession. 0.99
00:12:14.000 So it replaces their suggested scumminess from the show characters to the real-life people.
00:12:21.000 No, this is the real succession family.
00:12:23.000 Oh, okay.
00:12:24.000 I finally get their stupid boring joke or message.
00:12:29.000 The only thing more chick than that show is that show where Sandra O is MI5. 1.00
00:12:35.000 MI5 guys all look like Archie Bunker.
00:12:37.000 Their job is to sit in a dumpster for four hours listening to tapped phones and see if anyone talks about blowing anything up.
00:12:44.000 That's what 90% of MI5.
00:12:47.000 But this shit, it's all these women trying to kill each other. 1.00
00:12:50.000 And he's just edgy for edgy's sake.
00:12:52.000 I'm going to come on a cracker and eat it.
00:12:54.000 That's what Jim Norden's impression of it is.
00:12:56.000 Selfish or self-centered or you could say that.
00:12:59.000 Or unfaithful.
00:13:01.000 It's all about just sex jokes.
00:13:03.000 So much of female entertainment is based on envy. 1.00
00:13:07.000 Like, remember, you don't remember, but Dallas was all about the rich and famous, and the housewives of Beverly Hills, they're all rich.
00:13:14.000 And here's an architecture magazine where Alicia Keys and Swizz Beats, who are each worth $150 million, have built this $50 million mansion that was used to inspire Tony Stark.
00:13:24.000 And look at them on a yacht.
00:13:26.000 Don't you wish you had a yacht?
00:13:27.000 Is that the one that ended where you don't know who shot the guy?
00:13:31.000 Who shot JR?
00:13:32.000 Right.
00:13:34.000 Hey, Kweef Squad, apparently NBC.
00:13:36.000 No, that's ancient news.
00:13:39.000 We have to keep things relatively current because this is a banked show, so it's evergreen.
00:13:44.000 These are tagged, right?
00:13:46.000 Yeah.
00:13:47.000 That's one.
00:13:49.000 Typical Glaswegian. 0.99
00:13:51.000 The subject for this is for Gavin McInnes.
00:13:55.000 Hello, Cavin McKinnis.
00:13:57.000 Stephen McFoll here for Glasgow.
00:13:58.000 I'm 45 and I'm currently looking for work.
00:14:01.000 I'm current and hilarious and quirky.
00:14:05.000 I have a heat for news and presentation, medium video experience, along with being IT versatile.
00:14:12.000 Okay, thanks for we're now reading job applications.
00:14:17.000 Hey guys, I just remembered shitty tits Fantano commented on one of your old Rebel videos. 1.00
00:14:21.000 It's the one where you shit on gamers.
00:14:23.000 It's one of the top comments.
00:14:25.000 That's always a tricky thing to do with our audience is shit on gamers.
00:14:29.000 A lot of backlash.
00:14:31.000 I think a lot of dudes feel guilty that they spend so much time pretending they're a spider woman.
00:14:37.000 That's right, I said a woman. 1.00
00:14:38.000 Every time I look over you gamers' shoulders, you're playing as a chick. 0.99
00:14:44.000 And my son goes, no, give a skinnier waist so it's harder to hit.
00:14:48.000 Okay.
00:14:49.000 I'd rather have a fat waist and be a dude. 0.60
00:14:52.000 It's down farther.
00:14:55.000 I got it here.
00:14:55.000 The needle drop.
00:14:56.000 There we go.
00:14:58.000 So playing video games is a waste of a quote-unquote man's time, but baiting feminists with inflammatory statements is a good use of your time, Gavin?
00:15:07.000 Yeah.
00:15:08.000 Nice insult, dude.
00:15:10.000 That is exactly a better use of one's time.
00:15:14.000 You're actually improving the world when you destroy these feminists. 1.00
00:15:18.000 You're saving lives because they get out the you disavow them.
00:15:22.000 You disabuse them of the notion that having a what's that say?
00:15:27.000 Gavin's a millionaire who started multiple successful companies.
00:15:29.000 I don't agree with him about video games or fiction in general, but moving the goalpost, you filthy beta.
00:15:39.000 I forgot what I was talking about.
00:15:41.000 I know I'm probably the hundredth person to send this, but here it is anyway, and it's the Proud Boy thing that's boring.
00:15:51.000 Clip of the day, I killed a buck.
00:15:57.000 Okay.
00:16:00.000 Here's the clip of the day.
00:16:01.000 You ready for this?
00:16:02.000 Oh, fudge. 0.99
00:16:05.000 I could view it in Telegram.
00:16:06.000 We'll see about that.
00:16:08.000 I think I had trouble with that link.
00:16:12.000 While you're figuring that out, I'll read the next one.
00:16:14.000 Maddie has rage issues and a shitty heart. 1.00
00:16:17.000 Dear Gavin, Maddie, and Ryan, some people are just meant to die of aggravation.
00:16:20.000 Those people are largely of Scottish or Irish descent.
00:16:24.000 In my family, people jokingly say that my autobiography will be called, You're All Stupid Assholes and No One Knows How to Drive.
00:16:30.000 I'm 36 years old.
00:16:31.000 You know, my gravestone, my last will and testament, makes it clear that my gravestone has to say, I heard a retard say cunt once. 0.96
00:16:40.000 My wife was mortified at the lawyer's office as we signed the quadruplicate fucking forms you need to sign for that. 1.00
00:16:47.000 I think it cost me like three grand.
00:16:49.000 I can't remember how much I paid.
00:16:51.000 But I just, I want to have a gravestone where it's, here lies, here lies, all this serious shit.
00:16:56.000 And he was a great father and do, do, do, do, do, and God bless his soul.
00:17:00.000 And then just, I heard a retard say cunt once. 0.95
00:17:03.000 And the funniest part about it, I've never heard a retard say cunt.
00:17:07.000 They don't swear.
00:17:08.000 They're very religious.
00:17:10.000 They've got their shows.
00:17:11.000 They're soap operas.
00:17:13.000 And cunt is not on them. 0.99
00:17:15.000 Did you get that thing going yet, nigga? 1.00
00:17:17.000 No, that shit don't work.
00:17:18.000 All right.
00:17:19.000 Dear Gavin, Maddie, and Ryan.
00:17:20.000 Oh, there we are.
00:17:22.000 I'm 36 years old and I have angry wrinkles on my forehead from being a pissed off person of Irish descent. 1.00
00:17:27.000 I also break out in hives when I get mad.
00:17:29.000 I'm literally allergic to morons.
00:17:31.000 I've come to terms with the fact that I'm meant to die of aggravation.
00:17:34.000 This is a lady, by the way.
00:17:36.000 If Maddie's heart craps out mid-shit fit to just know that he was meant to go out that way, there isn't shit wrong with being principled, ornery, and of northern European descent. 0.99
00:17:47.000 With love, Katie.
00:17:49.000 I am the aunt angry.
00:17:56.000 What are we doing here?
00:18:00.000 Obsessed with lames.
00:18:01.000 Watch this video.
00:18:02.000 It's way better than all the race and tranny stuff you're always playing. 1.00
00:18:08.000 Okay, let's see.
00:18:08.000 Someone's got an improvement.
00:18:09.000 See, that's my favorite kind of criticism.
00:18:11.000 Not this sucks, but hey, this would be better.
00:18:14.000 Oh, this is an ancient Chinese fucking secret, dude.
00:18:17.000 I did six years in YA and then 19 months in the joint.
00:18:21.000 What'd he do?
00:18:22.000 I stabbed some dude in the neck four times.
00:18:25.000 Because he was a rat.
00:18:27.000 Gotta let him know what time it is.
00:18:29.000 What's one of your most number of fights?
00:18:31.000 Probably that time that I stabbed that dude.
00:18:37.000 I was thinking about it, I was watching the Sopranos the other day, and they wrongly think, what's his name, Fat Jimmy, is a snitch, and they think he's wearing a wire, so they murder him, and then they stick a rat in his mouth, and they leave him in an alleyway, right?
00:18:50.000 Yeah.
00:18:51.000 Where'd you get the rat?
00:18:55.000 It's like a cockroach.
00:18:57.000 You see them all the time, but actually having one when you're shooting a scene, that's why they're always those big fat Madagascar hissing cockroaches that don't look like the cockroaches you see. 0.99
00:19:08.000 Because those you can just buy online.
00:19:10.000 I've bought them before for a shoot.
00:19:11.000 But those aren't the kind of roaches you see in real time.
00:19:18.000 Jimmy the Rat.
00:19:20.000 That's them deciding to kill him, I believe.
00:19:23.000 And he wasn't a rat.
00:19:29.000 Boop-ba-doop-ba-doo. 1.00
00:19:31.000 Someone's got a video drop for us.
00:19:35.000 We are very snobby when it comes to video drop.
00:19:37.000 Oh, this one's been sent to us a few times.
00:19:39.000 Sorry for my language.
00:19:40.000 He's screaming.
00:19:40.000 If I catch any of you fuckers alone, I boycott.
00:19:43.000 No, that's not it, Ryan.
00:19:44.000 We already covered that.
00:19:45.000 This one is from Nick and it says video drop.
00:19:48.000 And it's the retard thing. 1.00
00:19:51.000 Back when you could say retard.
00:19:53.000 Back when there was tons of retards around and they weren't being aborted. 1.00
00:19:58.000 But then the left said, we're going to simultaneously commit genocide and wipe Down syndrome people off the planet, out of history forever, and at the same time be sanctimonious and tell you that you can't call them that.
00:20:11.000 Weird.
00:20:15.000 I'm retarded.
00:20:27.000 That's that show.
00:20:28.000 What was it?
00:20:29.000 Quantum Leap?
00:20:29.000 He kept taking over people's bodies?
00:20:33.000 Yeah, I guess we could use that for when I do something stupid, Ryan.
00:20:38.000 The part where you said, I'm retarded?
00:20:40.000 Yeah.
00:20:43.000 Fucking dogs is the subject.
00:20:46.000 I have a coworker that doesn't do anything to carry his own weight at work.
00:20:49.000 He shows up late and leaves early, generally because his dogs escape his house and the neighbor's bitch. 1.00
00:20:54.000 Dogs are fucking stupid.
00:20:58.000 I don't think there's anything worse than someone who won't shut up about their fucking dog.
00:21:03.000 It's painful.
00:21:07.000 Virginia governor defends push to make VMI more exclusive in speech to cadets.
00:21:11.000 That's too bad.
00:21:13.000 Peak American divorce fags. 0.98
00:21:14.000 Check out this Glenn Youngkin election pamphlet.
00:21:17.000 I'm curious if you think the glowing endorsement from Trump helped him win.
00:21:22.000 They said, this guy's like Donald Trump.
00:21:24.000 I said, thank you very much.
00:21:25.000 President Trump represents.
00:21:26.000 So this is an attempt to smear him.
00:21:30.000 Yeah, this is a good example of the American divorce where we look at it and we go, yeah, awesome. 0.77
00:21:37.000 And they look at the exact same thing and go, this is disgusting.
00:21:42.000 This will ruin him.
00:21:43.000 It's like when they made Trump Darth Vader and we go, yeah.
00:21:47.000 You mean the guy that literally ruled the universe?
00:21:49.000 I'm just pissed they didn't make him the emperor.
00:21:52.000 He wasn't hot enough.
00:21:54.000 Not that Darth Vader is very hot.
00:21:56.000 No.
00:21:59.000 Hey, Retard. 1.00
00:22:02.000 I think that's you, Ryan.
00:22:03.000 Oh, man.
00:22:04.000 Homo, I believe that's me.
00:22:08.000 And useless tubby guy, which I'm sure is Maddie. 0.99
00:22:13.000 We all came out pretty bad in that.
00:22:15.000 Nobody was unscathed.
00:22:17.000 No one likes the butt cheeks. 1.00
00:22:19.000 Do you still think shampoo makes you bald?
00:22:21.000 Yes.
00:22:22.000 You're the one who likes to point out how so many of the less talking points can be refuted by going, hmm, for five minutes.
00:22:27.000 Every woman I've ever met showers at least once a day, usually twice. 0.98
00:22:31.000 Why are there no bald women except for a few genetic travesties? 1.00
00:22:35.000 Maybe I should have specified.
00:22:37.000 Shampoo makes men bald.
00:22:39.000 Women are obviously less bald than men, so they can take a beating. 1.00
00:22:44.000 They can do all kinds of dumb shit that we cannot do.
00:22:47.000 Another thing that makes you bald is wearing a hat.
00:22:49.000 If you're regularly wearing a hat, you're stressing out your follicles.
00:22:52.000 Stop doing it.
00:22:53.000 Look at me.
00:22:53.000 I'm 51.
00:22:55.000 Even, like, I know you see bald patches and shit.
00:22:58.000 That's not a bald patch.
00:23:00.000 That's just a patch where it's so thin you can sort of see the scalp, but there's hair everywhere.
00:23:04.000 If I shaved my head bald, there'd be stubble everywhere.
00:23:07.000 It would just be less dense than like the sides.
00:23:10.000 And that's because I never wear a hat.
00:23:13.000 And here's a third one.
00:23:14.000 When you're getting stressed out, just go, is this worth going bald?
00:23:21.000 And stop doing that.
00:23:24.000 And fourth, don't do hormone treatment shit.
00:23:28.000 I did that stuff that made my balls make more testosterone for like a month.
00:23:32.000 I was a dick and my hair started thinning.
00:23:37.000 What do you take?
00:23:39.000 Hey, should I take that pre-workout?
00:23:42.000 Should I pump it up and don't let it down?
00:23:45.000 Pump it up, don't let it down.
00:23:48.000 Maybe.
00:23:49.000 Yeah, I'll give you a little sample of it.
00:23:51.000 So what is it?
00:23:51.000 Just a bunch of caffeine?
00:23:52.000 It's a lot of caffeine and then some stuff that boosts your nitrous oxide, which lets your blood pump better and L-carnitine and things like that.
00:24:01.000 A lot of good things that will help you and give you sustainable energy throughout.
00:24:06.000 It's good stuff.
00:24:08.000 I don't want to plug it because I don't want to.
00:24:11.000 It's Gorilla Mind.
00:24:12.000 Guerrilla Mode.
00:24:13.000 Oh, is it Cernovich?
00:24:15.000 No.
00:24:16.000 But interesting that they both landed on Gorilla theme stuff.
00:24:20.000 No, it's this guy.
00:24:20.000 More plates, more dates with the biggest Death Star Delts you've ever seen in your life.
00:24:25.000 And he's the one.
00:24:26.000 I like the way you said that.
00:24:28.000 That was so gay. 1.00
00:24:29.000 He's the one who's like.
00:24:31.000 No way.
00:24:31.000 It's really good delts.
00:24:33.000 Holy shit.
00:24:35.000 You got to see his delts.
00:24:36.000 Best delts ever?
00:24:37.000 Are you serious?
00:24:38.000 How's his ass?
00:24:40.000 I don't care about his.
00:24:40.000 Oh my God.
00:24:41.000 His delts are insane, dude.
00:24:42.000 Those are bananas.
00:24:43.000 Those are such good delts.
00:24:45.000 They're Death Star delts.
00:24:46.000 Death Star?
00:24:47.000 I love it.
00:24:48.000 I want to get Death Star delts.
00:24:50.000 Me too.
00:24:51.000 Let's look at more men's bodies, you fucking queer. 1.00
00:24:55.000 Now, hold on.
00:24:56.000 He's the guy who scores his head with a micro needler to prevent baldness.
00:25:00.000 Oh, yeah.
00:25:00.000 And he's got blood everywhere.
00:25:02.000 Yeah.
00:25:03.000 A micro needler.
00:25:04.000 So you wouldn't do that?
00:25:06.000 No.
00:25:09.000 And I don't like taking any kind of medication where you don't feel like yourself.
00:25:12.000 Like, if I take an Adderall, I'm me, but just I'm me from tomorrow, put on top of today.
00:25:19.000 And then the next day, I'm zero me.
00:25:21.000 You know what I mean?
00:25:22.000 Oh, yeah.
00:25:22.000 You just, like, double yourself.
00:25:25.000 But, like, I didn't feel like me at all.
00:25:28.000 I was a guy named Craig.
00:25:31.000 That sucks.
00:25:32.000 Yeah, Craig's...
00:25:33.000 No offense, Craig.
00:25:34.000 No offense.
00:25:35.000 A lot of you suck.
00:25:37.000 Here's his scalp here.
00:25:39.000 Great idea.
00:25:40.000 Yeah, he microneedles.
00:25:41.000 But like, who wants to be that ripped?
00:25:43.000 I don't understand.
00:25:44.000 Can you even find a shirt?
00:25:50.000 Everyone I have showers.
00:25:52.000 So yeah, you've never heard that women have more hair than men? 0.99
00:25:55.000 And by the way, you'll notice the tone of these guys is, you're So stupid.
00:26:00.000 I've solved your issue.
00:26:02.000 That's like saying, you think that sparring isn't bad for you?
00:26:06.000 Oh, really?
00:26:06.000 How come then if you punch a baby in the head 20 times, it can die?
00:26:11.000 Because babies are different than adults.
00:26:13.000 Men are different than women. 1.00
00:26:15.000 Different from, different than?
00:26:18.000 Very simple explanation.
00:26:20.000 Yeah, I know why.
00:26:21.000 Anyway, why there are no bald women? 1.00
00:26:23.000 Clearly, the cause of balding is predominantly genetic or related to testosterone and other hormones.
00:26:27.000 Yes, but you have some say.
00:26:30.000 Sure, your hair can look nice with natural oils, but every time you say shampoo makes you bald, my anal lips droop.
00:26:36.000 Well, you got to do your homework there, tit lips. 0.99
00:26:40.000 Hey, gang, I drew this while watching the show the other night.
00:26:43.000 I've noticed this with Zoomers. 1.00
00:26:44.000 Their confidence is way too high.
00:26:45.000 I think America's confidence is too high.
00:26:48.000 All fives think they're nines, and we saw that with Kyle Rittenhouse's mother, where they're like, I'm two years older than her, and I look like this.
00:26:56.000 And you're like, yeah, you're a hideous old bag.
00:27:00.000 But another thing they do, these zoomers, is they'll do this half-assed shitty drawing, which is like the beginning.
00:27:05.000 This is basically Island boys, like it's the beginning of something that could be good.
00:27:11.000 And you're so proud of yourself, you're like, oh, I got to send that over to the guy, even though I didn't even draw the ears.
00:27:18.000 Fuck off.
00:27:20.000 What are you doing over there?
00:27:21.000 Getting a new page from my notebook.
00:27:23.000 You stole mine.
00:27:24.000 I told you, it's in the car.
00:27:26.000 I'll get it.
00:27:28.000 Gavin, I posted a fake tutorial video called How to Fix.
00:27:30.000 Oh, we already talked about that guy.
00:27:36.000 Cool music for you out of touch homos. 1.00
00:27:40.000 Yeah, I've done that before.
00:27:41.000 It always sucks.
00:27:42.000 All right, now I'm going to go way down.
00:27:48.000 Oh, it's a bunch of rappers who wreck a store, and I guess that's punk rock.
00:27:54.000 That's not what punk rock is, sir.
00:28:02.000 Okay, this is all the way down, Ryan.
00:28:04.000 Watch with Maddie, convicts fighting for money. 1.00
00:28:07.000 And what time?
00:28:08.000 Okay, got it.
00:28:08.000 Well, we should wait for Maddie then.
00:28:11.000 Oh, yeah.
00:28:12.000 It's the same guy.
00:28:13.000 It was the guy who was like, I stabbed the guy in the neck.
00:28:16.000 Oh, really?
00:28:17.000 Yeah.
00:28:19.000 Dear Gavin, Rygai, and Maddie, firstly, Ryan sucks at explaining things.
00:28:23.000 Your lats are back muscles.
00:28:26.000 Yeah, but they show in the front.
00:28:28.000 So when you do this...
00:28:30.000 I was talking to you here.
00:28:32.000 Yeah, those are obliques, and I nailed it on first try.
00:28:35.000 I said those are obliques.
00:28:38.000 Yeah, the Wolverine muscle.
00:28:40.000 Oblique.
00:28:41.000 Right here I'm talking about.
00:28:43.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:28:43.000 Obliques.
00:28:44.000 Obliques?
00:28:45.000 We get through the bottle, blah blah blah.
00:28:46.000 Firstly, Ryan Suck Blah, blah, blah.
00:28:48.000 On an unrelated note, check out this TikTok.
00:28:50.000 Why classic Broncos Are You Driving Out in?
00:28:52.000 Dude, I love the Classic Bronco.
00:28:54.000 Obviously, I have eyeballs and a penis, but they're like 60 to 80 grand now.
00:29:01.000 Stunning.
00:29:03.000 Gorgeous.
00:29:04.000 That's going to be a new trend.
00:29:07.000 Broncos?
00:29:08.000 No, no, this retroness. 0.64
00:29:10.000 Ford just released, what is it, concept pictures?
00:29:16.000 And then also, what was the Hyundai?
00:29:17.000 We saw the Hyundai.
00:29:18.000 We discussed that.
00:29:19.000 It's a thing.
00:29:19.000 And then also those electric trucks, the electric Range Rover-looking thing that we saw when we went to go buy that BMW.
00:29:25.000 Not Rivera, but something like that Rivio or something.
00:29:28.000 Rivian.
00:29:29.000 Yeah, that sounds right.
00:29:31.000 Those are pretty square.
00:29:33.000 And then there's that electric truck.
00:29:34.000 I don't know, man.
00:29:35.000 I don't think I could do electric.
00:29:37.000 No.
00:29:37.000 One, you feel like a homo.
00:29:39.000 And two, Indian Dave, brother Dave, Proud Boy, has one, and he's always bragging about it.
00:29:45.000 He's like, I can look at my phone while I'm driving.
00:29:47.000 It does most of the driving.
00:29:48.000 It stays perfectly in the lane.
00:29:51.000 It costs me nothing to charge.
00:29:54.000 Okay, those all sound like good points.
00:29:56.000 I'm not stupid.
00:29:58.000 I'm not going to say no to something if it's incredibly cheap.
00:30:01.000 But then one time they were going up to visit Max and John, which is a seven-hour drive, they fucking got a tire popped when they were up up by Watertown.
00:30:10.000 And the guy goes, these are really weird tires.
00:30:13.000 I won't be able to get one for three days.
00:30:15.000 So they missed the visit, and they stayed at a hotel for three days.
00:30:19.000 Like in a town.
00:30:20.000 I don't have three days to throw away.
00:30:22.000 No, thank you.
00:30:23.000 And then another time, like we were talking about going back up in February, and he goes, ooh, we got to watch for storms.
00:30:28.000 When I took my Tesla, I had to stop three times and charge it for half an hour.
00:30:37.000 That's not America.
00:30:38.000 That's not freedom.
00:30:43.000 What's up, you fucking Jews? 1.00
00:30:47.000 Oops.
00:30:48.000 That burns.
00:30:50.000 I'm writing in from Toronto, Canada.
00:30:52.000 I was wondering if you ever heard of The Whitest Kids You Know. 0.97
00:30:54.000 Yes, I'm obviously familiar with that.
00:30:56.000 I remember they sent me shit in 2001, maybe?
00:31:03.000 Exactly 20 years ago.
00:31:05.000 And they had just started.
00:31:06.000 They weren't anywhere.
00:31:08.000 And they had a VHS tape of their sketches.
00:31:12.000 And there was some very racy stuff, some blackface stuff in there. 1.00
00:31:15.000 And they included, I'll never forget this, they included a 40.
00:31:20.000 And I thought, I've never received a press kit with a 40 before.
00:31:24.000 I like these guys.
00:31:26.000 But we just had the guy die.
00:31:28.000 The main guy died.
00:31:29.000 Trevor Moore.
00:31:30.000 He fell.
00:31:31.000 He was kind of anti, there's all kinds of conspiracy theories because he was kind of anti-CIA, anti-FBI.
00:31:38.000 But I think he was a huge boozer and he just fell.
00:31:40.000 He made his own, who's making his own moonshine and drinking a ton of it.
00:31:44.000 Yeah, that's a good thing.
00:31:47.000 Well, I guess it's sort of like when you drink normal booze.
00:31:51.000 Moonshine gets you lit.
00:31:53.000 It's a good buzz, though.
00:31:56.000 Oh my god, Hamlet!
00:31:57.000 I just saw a fucking vampire!
00:31:59.000 It bit me right in the neck!
00:32:01.000 Oh no!
00:32:03.000 Save yourself, Hamlet!
00:32:04.000 Save! 0.54
00:32:09.000 Othello, I will avenge you and rid this castle of the vampire scourge that has taken this fascity.
00:32:18.000 I shall hunt each and everyone down in this town and drive a wooden stake through the heart.
00:32:25.000 All this for my friend Othello.
00:32:29.000 Oh no!
00:32:30.000 Hamlet, turn the wheel!
00:32:32.000 He turned into a vampire!
00:32:34.000 He's gonna bite you!
00:32:35.000 Oh shit!
00:32:36.000 Hamlet!
00:32:37.000 I can't watch this!
00:32:38.000 Hey, everybody, I can't watch this!
00:32:40.000 Well, some of us are trying to.
00:32:43.000 John, please.
00:32:44.000 Who said that?
00:32:45.000 Which one of your dead motherfuckers just said that shit? 1.00
00:32:48.000 Okay, it's pretty funny.
00:32:50.000 Just talking in the middle of the day.
00:32:50.000 No, Birthday Boys.
00:32:51.000 Birthday Boys were slightly better.
00:32:54.000 I knew those guys, the whitest kids, you know, I went and pitched TV shows with the hunky one. 1.00
00:32:59.000 He wanted me to do a how-to show.
00:33:01.000 Would have been great.
00:33:06.000 But yeah, the Birthday Boys were fucking great.
00:33:07.000 Remember the musical they did about books?
00:33:09.000 Look up Birthday Boys books a song?
00:33:13.000 I also love the bit they did where they mocked all these rock guitarists who, every time you talk to like Jimmy Page or Jimi Hendrix or, you know, the greatest musicians of all time, they're always like, man, no one could hold a candle to Bleeding Gums Murphy or Jitterbug.
00:33:27.000 And then you hear it, it's on some crackly 77 RPM.
00:33:30.000 He's like, my baby's got away.
00:33:38.000 And you're like, that sucks.
00:33:40.000 And I feel the same way about, we're probably going to lose some subs, Robert Johnson.
00:33:45.000 Oh, Robert Johnson.
00:33:46.000 He was a genius.
00:33:49.000 And Led Zeppelin ripped off everything from him.
00:33:51.000 Really?
00:33:53.000 What would you rather clean your room to?
00:33:56.000 Led Zeppelin immigrant song or fucking Robert Johnson?
00:34:01.000 Wait a minute, just put on Robert Johnson for a sec.
00:34:17.000 Sounds good.
00:34:18.000 That's the vinyl.
00:34:20.000 Okay.
00:34:20.000 Can I hear some more?
00:34:37.000 I mean, Jimmy Page definitely leans into that.
00:34:40.000 It's definitely an homage, but Led Zapwin's way better.
00:34:48.000 It is amazing that he's playing this with the pool in the rain.
00:34:58.000 Oh, there's a zoom buddy down below.
00:35:10.000 They're no Robert Johnson.
00:35:15.000 Well, there's a light in your eyes when you shine.
00:35:21.000 Isn't there a bad song?
00:35:23.000 It's got that breakdown with the whistle.
00:35:24.000 They were inspired by the World Cup.
00:35:27.000 I don't like his orgasm solos.
00:35:30.000 Robert Plant, where he's like...
00:35:34.000 Yeah, good point.
00:35:35.000 It's enough of that.
00:35:36.000 Go back to that Birthday Boy sketch with the books.
00:35:38.000 It's so, like, talk about sprinkles.
00:35:40.000 This is so intrinsically just funny.
00:35:44.000 And inevitably with these groups, by the way, there's one guy who sucks who just happened to be their roommate, and he's part of the group.
00:35:50.000 I don't know who it is in White It's Kids You Know, but I know who it is in Birthday Boys, and I'll point him out if he's in this bit.
00:35:54.000 Hey, Tim, what are you reading?
00:35:56.000 It's this really great book.
00:35:58.000 It's such a painster, I can't put it down.
00:36:00.000 Yeah, what is it?
00:36:01.000 It's the biography of Hulk Hogan.
00:36:04.000 Got at the airport.
00:36:05.000 Well, you've been reading that thing all day, Tim.
00:36:07.000 You're like turning into a real bookworm.
00:36:11.000 You know, I guess you're right.
00:36:14.000 I guess I am.
00:36:15.000 Seems that while other people like to go out into the world and meet all sorts of people, I guess I prefer to take an adventure within the pages of a book.
00:36:31.000 I don't need anyone else to make me happy or anyone else to make my heart sing.
00:36:38.000 Just gave me a book.
00:36:40.000 Yeah, gave me a big old papery bug.
00:36:45.000 Cause I'm a book guy.
00:36:47.000 Oh, yeah, I'm a boot guy.
00:36:50.000 All the adventure that I'll ever need is right there on those library shelves.
00:36:57.000 And also at the books.
00:37:00.000 I remember this with my buddies Eric and Steve.
00:37:02.000 We would smoke tons of weed, hash, it was in Canada.
00:37:05.000 And we're up by Greenbelt.
00:37:08.000 We're in the Adirondack.
00:37:09.000 No, it's basically the Oudaway region, the Gatineau.
00:37:13.000 It's basically the Quebec equivalent of the Adirondacks.
00:37:16.000 And we're in the trees.
00:37:17.000 And there's four felled trees that make kind of a square.
00:37:20.000 And I just started walking along one of them like...
00:37:26.000 And then it became walking the block, walking the block, I'm changing my socks.
00:37:37.000 Walking the.
00:37:39.000 And then Eric would get on, and it would be more of like a band, like, walking the block, walking the block, I'm changing my socks.
00:37:53.000 And this went on for like hours as we walked the block in various different disco rock.
00:37:59.000 Everyone was walking the block and changing their socks.
00:38:03.000 Go back to this stupid birthday thing.
00:38:05.000 It's so weird that the reason I'm asked to play this is because it's so like not normal.
00:38:13.000 It's not the way you make a joke.
00:38:16.000 At the airport, page, page, pages.
00:38:19.000 I always thought.
00:38:20.000 You know, Tim couldn't dance at all.
00:38:22.000 Don't forget about the table of contents, folks.
00:38:26.000 And he can't be very good.
00:38:27.000 Cover to cover.
00:38:29.000 Oh, brother.
00:38:31.000 Some may call me a dreamer.
00:38:34.000 Others may find me a fool.
00:38:36.000 Page after page, chapter after chapter, about the author.
00:38:41.000 That's what I'm after.
00:38:44.000 I don't know why.
00:38:46.000 I'm a book dude and I'm in my mood too.
00:38:51.000 Read, read, read alive.
00:38:53.000 I'm just the book guy after all.
00:38:58.000 Look at that strange guy Reading that book.
00:39:02.000 He's a book guy.
00:39:03.000 All right.
00:39:03.000 He's a book guy.
00:39:04.000 Yeah, he's always in his nose.
00:39:06.000 Hog, Hogan.
00:39:08.000 Boo! 0.83
00:39:09.000 Asher is different.
00:39:11.000 That's him.
00:39:12.000 I'm starting to think he's the one.
00:39:16.000 That's the albatross around their neck.
00:39:21.000 When's that guy going to conform like the rest of the town?
00:39:25.000 Loaf, roll, salesman.
00:39:27.000 Loaf and roll.
00:39:29.000 Gus guy's up in the window.
00:39:34.000 Henry Feldman?
00:39:35.000 Yes.
00:39:36.000 Guys up in the window.
00:39:43.000 And does he even have a decent dowry?
00:39:46.000 Sorry, fellas.
00:39:48.000 What can I say?
00:39:49.000 I'm just a big old leaf through Larry.
00:39:52.000 I'm a real bookmonger.
00:39:55.000 Yes, he's a book guy.
00:39:58.000 Real deal book guy.
00:40:00.000 Book guy.
00:40:01.000 Book guy.
00:40:03.000 He's a loner and an introvert.
00:40:06.000 He doesn't have a friend in the world.
00:40:09.000 Except for us, Mike and Jeff.
00:40:11.000 Two best friends in the world.
00:40:14.000 He's a book guy.
00:40:18.000 Wow.
00:40:20.000 That's quality.
00:40:21.000 See?
00:40:21.000 That's the opposite of this.
00:40:22.000 Why does kids you know we're very good?
00:40:23.000 That's the opposite of this.
00:40:27.000 Brett Gelman's A Thousand Cats.
00:40:33.000 He scrubbed this from the internet entirely.
00:40:37.000 Really?
00:40:37.000 This is the only version of.
00:40:39.000 I hate Brett Gelman.
00:40:43.000 He canceled Sam Hyde.
00:40:44.000 He left Adult Swim after getting fired and pretended it was because it's too racist there.
00:40:50.000 What?
00:40:51.000 And when pressed, we discover that they kept asking him to, dude, you're funny.
00:40:56.000 Get us some funny chicks. 1.00
00:40:58.000 This is becoming a sausage fest.
00:40:59.000 You know any funny chicks? 1.00
00:41:00.000 And he's like, yes, my weird-looking Gary Coleman black wife, she's funny. 0.99
00:41:06.000 And they go, what?
00:41:06.000 That's the stylist from your last show.
00:41:08.000 It's also my wife and a hilarious woman. 1.00
00:41:10.000 They go, no, we want like someone who has experience in comedy.
00:41:14.000 And he goes, what about this?
00:41:16.000 That's just your wife with a hat on. 1.00
00:41:18.000 So after five times of him suggesting his wife and them going, she's a stylist.
00:41:22.000 And we asked for like a someone with a stand-up comedy background.
00:41:25.000 He goes, this place is racist and leaves.
00:41:30.000 Yeah, she is not trying to look like a lady very much.
00:41:37.000 Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:41:38.000 I didn't know Talib Starks dated Brett Gelman.
00:41:40.000 And look at the girl in the background. 0.97
00:41:42.000 I could have fucked him.
00:41:43.000 You could have had me.
00:41:44.000 Said no to me.
00:41:48.000 That's deep.
00:41:49.000 Again, the big problem with women who have shaved heads is when you're fucking them from behind, you're looking down at a 12-year-old boy. 1.00
00:41:54.000 Correct.
00:41:55.000 That's rape. 1.00
00:41:57.000 1,000 stories.
00:41:59.000 9,000 lives.
00:42:02.000 We're cats.
00:42:03.000 We're living.
00:42:04.000 We're ready to strive.
00:42:07.000 But is he making fun of cats the movie, the musical?
00:42:09.000 Which is...
00:42:10.000 Talk about easy targets.
00:42:12.000 1,000 stories.
00:42:15.000 9,000 lives.
00:42:18.000 It's like Mark Stein with his, I thought I saw a putty tat.
00:42:21.000 He's just not a funny guy.
00:42:24.000 Well, he can be with good writing.
00:42:27.000 Like, remember fucking...
00:42:29.000 I'm Alan.
00:42:29.000 Hi, yeah, guys.
00:42:30.000 I'm sorry I'm late.
00:42:31.000 I just have to.
00:42:31.000 He cameo in some movie with a little bit of a thing with Chris, what's his name?
00:42:36.000 When he's making fun of Chuck Norris, and it's called Eagle Heart.
00:42:41.000 Oh, right, right.
00:42:42.000 He was great in Eagle Heart, but it was great writing.
00:42:45.000 It was fucking Chris.
00:42:46.000 What's his name?
00:42:47.000 Possibly the funniest person in the world.
00:42:49.000 Holy shit.
00:42:49.000 Someone sent us porn.
00:42:51.000 NSFW.
00:42:52.000 You got to see this.
00:42:54.000 Holy fuck is it beautiful.
00:42:56.000 Check out this 1970 Rover.
00:42:59.000 Now, who makes Rover?
00:43:01.000 I never heard of them before.
00:43:02.000 Oh, my stars.
00:43:05.000 Okay, I got it.
00:43:06.000 Dude.
00:43:08.000 This is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen in my life.
00:43:13.000 Oh, my God.
00:43:15.000 Look at the back.
00:43:17.000 The grill is breathtaking.
00:43:20.000 Can you show all the pictures?
00:43:21.000 Here's the grill.
00:43:23.000 Just pull the whole thing up, dicklips. 0.99
00:43:26.000 Look at that fucking grill.
00:43:32.000 Wow.
00:43:35.000 Christopher L. Fuck Elliot.
00:43:38.000 Chris Elliott?
00:43:39.000 Yeah.
00:43:40.000 Yes.
00:43:42.000 You boys, look at it.
00:43:44.000 I never heard of Rover before.
00:43:45.000 All right.
00:43:47.000 Hey guys, have you seen Milo's new Christian TV shopping host gig?
00:43:51.000 I think I may have checked out a second of it on his Telegram.
00:43:55.000 I did.
00:43:56.000 But are people making fun of it?
00:43:58.000 Yes.
00:43:59.000 I think he's good at this, but it is funny.
00:44:01.000 But somebody quoted it and said, this is the gayest thing Milo's ever done.
00:44:05.000 I'm well.
00:44:06.000 I'm happy because this is the first of our shows.
00:44:08.000 I believe they're including gay sex in that when they... 0.99
00:44:11.000 Probably the most important woman in history.
00:44:13.000 That's Ryan.
00:44:13.000 That is the joke.
00:44:14.000 I see.
00:44:14.000 She's certainly the most beloved.
00:44:16.000 And we've got today three items, all in celebration, reverence, of course, of the Blessed Mother, the Virgin Mary.
00:44:24.000 We're going to start with this wonderful statue, which we both own.
00:44:29.000 We do, but in different media, oh, different colours.
00:44:32.000 That's right.
00:44:33.000 You've got the silver finish.
00:44:34.000 Yes.
00:44:35.000 And I've got this bronze finish.
00:44:37.000 Tell us a little bit about the material this is made from.
00:44:41.000 He's doing a great job.
00:44:42.000 He saw stuff.
00:44:42.000 Really good at it.
00:44:43.000 And he's good at it.
00:44:45.000 It's compelling.
00:44:46.000 He was like, you know, Milo's a survivor.
00:44:50.000 You could throw him into a scuba class and say, teach these people a little diet.
00:44:54.000 He's like, right, okay, what's the number one rule we need here?
00:44:57.000 It's oxygen.
00:44:58.000 So we have to see how much is left.
00:45:00.000 How much is left in the tank?
00:45:02.000 Wow.
00:45:02.000 30 minutes.
00:45:03.000 How much is left?
00:45:04.000 Yeah, that's perfect.
00:45:05.000 Also, when he does his pause thing, like when he comes out of a pause, it's always worth it.
00:45:09.000 He goes, and the thing I noticed about the face is that sometimes they have a real rather, and he's soft about saying things that are not complimentary to get to a, like, he's like, what I've noticed about other statues is the face can be a bit unfortunate.
00:45:28.000 It's like, that's a perfect word to not bring into negative results.
00:45:32.000 Yeah.
00:45:32.000 Unfortunate, but this is really just gorgeous.
00:45:35.000 I think he's mad at me for the whole thing not working out here.
00:45:38.000 I know Chadwick is.
00:45:40.000 Sorry, we had a news page.
00:45:42.000 It was expensive.
00:45:43.000 There was typos in it, and it didn't work.
00:45:47.000 That's all that matters.
00:45:48.000 It was not generating income.
00:45:50.000 So if it's not profitable, I chop it.
00:45:52.000 Maybe a season two in the future.
00:45:54.000 I don't know.
00:45:54.000 Who knows?
00:45:55.000 No, I'm talking about the news page.
00:45:57.000 Oh, yeah.
00:45:57.000 With Milo, it's just like more and more and more and more money.
00:46:00.000 And then he's like, I can see which way things are going here.
00:46:02.000 I'm out.
00:46:03.000 Okay, bye.
00:46:04.000 You're too expensive anyway.
00:46:06.000 You priced yourself out of a job.
00:46:09.000 Ryan Sprinkles.
00:46:11.000 Question mark.
00:46:12.000 This will not be sprinkles, I promise you.
00:46:13.000 This is musical sprinkles.
00:46:15.000 No such thing.
00:46:16.000 I hate joke music.
00:46:17.000 Like fucking Ween.
00:46:19.000 Ween or just weirdo Yankovic.
00:46:22.000 It's like joking during sex.
00:46:24.000 Yeah, it's a sacred thing and you don't make fun of.
00:46:26.000 Right.
00:46:26.000 I never got it either.
00:46:27.000 I did one funny song because this woman. 0.96
00:46:30.000 Oh, I thought you were kidding with all your songs.
00:46:33.000 Hurtful, mean, inaccurate.
00:46:49.000 Shut up, boring waste of time. 0.97
00:46:53.000 Gavin Maddie.
00:46:54.000 So we both, Maddie and I come out great in this, right?
00:46:57.000 Yeah.
00:46:58.000 And show wrecker.
00:47:03.000 Check out this song.
00:47:04.000 I feel like it's pretty fitting given what's going on in the world nowadays.
00:47:07.000 Gavin, I know you get bored quickly, so have a dummy start at 115 and give it 30 seconds.
00:47:11.000 I'd like to see.
00:47:13.000 15-1.
00:47:14.000 All kit.
00:47:15.000 1.15.
00:47:16.000 I know.
00:47:16.000 It's just being a show wrecker.
00:47:18.000 This is where we come from.
00:47:20.000 Where the hell we belong from them big woods and them sticks.
00:47:23.000 All my people, the country strong.
00:47:25.000 And if you don't like it here, you can take your ass on.
00:47:28.000 But please don't take it wrong.
00:47:29.000 Cause I know just what you thinking.
00:47:31.000 Probably think we discriminate and probably think these boys are racist.
00:47:34.000 That's what they want you to think.
00:47:35.000 As they trying to separate us, it's as true.
00:47:38.000 Just watch the news and so on.
00:47:39.000 But the black guys. 0.99
00:47:49.000 Love southerners, hate the heat.
00:47:52.000 Isn't it funny how you can't wait for it to be winter so you can put on your gorgeous flannels and your fucking beautiful red wings.
00:47:59.000 And then you're putting away a Hawaiian shirt and you're like, eh, I kind of miss my low-cut chucks and my white pants with my fucking thingamadoodles.
00:48:07.000 As we record this, Proud Boys Trending in New York.
00:48:11.000 I guess they're trying to dig up that this was a thing.
00:48:14.000 What's that got to do with New York?
00:48:16.000 I don't know.
00:48:18.000 Okay, so this is a banked episode that was actually shot last Friday.
00:48:22.000 Wait, what did that say go up a bit?
00:48:25.000 A little more?
00:48:27.000 Tell that to the proud boys who go to protest with weapons and incite violence so they can find any excuse to use them.
00:48:34.000 Protesters will start to bring weapons to protect themselves from people like Kyle and the like.
00:48:38.000 This is nothing to celebrate.
00:48:40.000 Protesters.
00:48:41.000 You mean like the one who shot Tiny or the one who shot Joey Bishop?
00:48:47.000 Look at this splash page for this fuck.
00:48:50.000 This is the person weighing in on political matters with a bunt cake. 0.99
00:48:55.000 You fucking cunt. 0.87
00:48:57.000 It's a fat chick. 1.00
00:48:57.000 It's obviously a fat chick. 1.00
00:48:59.000 Now do the proud boys.
00:49:03.000 To be fair, the photo was taken after the shooting and racists are generally the only ones willing to forgive him with open arms.
00:49:09.000 That's not really how you say forgive him.
00:49:14.000 Most local officials, blah blah blah.
00:49:15.000 Anyway, that's boring.
00:49:17.000 But is it trending like in a crazy way?
00:49:20.000 22,000 tweets.
00:49:21.000 Do I gotta go get my guns?
00:49:23.000 23,000 tweets.
00:49:26.000 Excuse me.
00:49:28.000 My phone just has Kyle Rittenhouse, A-C-L-U, Adele.
00:49:31.000 How do you feel about the Ahmad Arbery one?
00:49:35.000 I'm anti-jogger.
00:49:36.000 I don't really like to jog.
00:49:37.000 I don't do cardio much.
00:49:39.000 I do a little bit, but I'm kind of because I think he was a thief.
00:49:44.000 No, I was...
00:49:45.000 I know he was a jogger, and I'm for him being killed. 1.00
00:49:49.000 Because if black people start jogging, then we're going to look, we won't have anything. 1.00
00:49:52.000 That's right.
00:49:53.000 That's so true.
00:49:54.000 It's white genocide. 0.67
00:49:55.000 We're losing.
00:49:56.000 All we have left is camping, jogging, horseback riding, and downhill skiing.
00:50:01.000 Four things left.
00:50:04.000 If I saw a guy, a black guy skiing, I'd shoot him. 1.00
00:50:07.000 The penalty for appropriation is death.
00:50:10.000 Yep.
00:50:11.000 All kidding aside, he says, congrats on Ryan becoming a dad.
00:50:14.000 Don't fuck it up.
00:50:15.000 Okay.
00:50:16.000 Also, we need more Maddie. 0.99
00:50:17.000 The stories are incredible, so quit holding back, big guy, and speak up.
00:50:21.000 Speak up and speak down.
00:50:23.000 Speak black and speak bligh. 1.00
00:50:26.000 We should wrap this up soon.
00:50:27.000 Dear G-Dog, Fag Supreme, and Maddie Hose Smell. 1.00
00:50:30.000 Hey Nears, just wanted to email in to suggest another great Joel Gilbert documentary.
00:50:34.000 It's called Farewell to Israel, Bush, Iran, and the Revolt of Islam. 0.99
00:50:38.000 The film is a 2.5-hour chronicle of Islam.
00:50:40.000 I can't believe he fucking bailed on being on this show.
00:50:43.000 From before its inception to 2007, identifying the attitudes and motivations of Islamic cultures worldwide, in my opinion, it is critical viewing in order to understand the crises in the Middle East and the mindset of all of Islam.
00:50:56.000 It can be a turnoff since it's not made with entertainment value in mind and is pretty much strictly informational, which I understand many of you find boring.
00:51:03.000 No, no, that's for when you're cleaning up the basement or something.
00:51:06.000 Those are the best kind of podcasts.
00:51:09.000 If you're going for something more in the Trayvon Martin hoax vein, I would suggest there's no place like Utopia or Dreams from My Real Father.
00:51:17.000 Both are takedowns of the Obama administration, the latter being his investigative work of finding out who Obama's father really was.
00:51:24.000 Have a great show.
00:51:25.000 I mean, he's an Infowars host.
00:51:28.000 Hey, Gavin and Ryan, if you missed it last week, Tucker took a jab at Microsoft and suggested muckle shoot reparations.
00:51:34.000 How dare he.
00:51:37.000 Oh, we got a clip.
00:51:42.000 Really?
00:51:43.000 Have you paid royalties to the muckle shoot people for building your stupid campus on their land? 1.00
00:51:48.000 Probably not.
00:51:50.000 You think mentioning their name gets you out of the obligation?
00:51:53.000 I don't think so, Microsoft.
00:51:54.000 We'll talk to you later.
00:51:57.000 How outside of the realm of possibility is it to get Tucker to say something about the bird, which is very, very no.
00:52:05.000 Very, very no.
00:52:06.000 Not too much of indecence.
00:52:08.000 Just a bald eagle.
00:52:10.000 No.
00:52:11.000 Tucker made it clear to me a long time ago that he's not a proud boy.
00:52:16.000 He's not going that way.
00:52:17.000 He said, I made a decision early on that you can go the non-violence peace route or the violence route.
00:52:22.000 I chose the non-violence peace route.
00:52:24.000 There's no violence in Bald Eagle, but I guess.
00:52:25.000 And I said, no, but it would eventually be traced back.
00:52:28.000 And I said, so you're MLK and I'm Malcolm X. And he goes, for better or for worse.
00:52:33.000 It's just a decision I made.
00:52:34.000 I was like, okay, because Malcolm X is cooler than Martin Luther King, you realize.
00:52:39.000 Yeah.
00:52:40.000 And they both die in the end.
00:52:43.000 Please watch Beginning at 2.30.
00:52:45.000 Lots of video drop material here.
00:52:53.000 30 years ago, his sister disappeared.
00:52:56.000 She soon began talking about a recent case.
00:52:58.000 But clearly, her psychic abilities didn't tell her that I was the girl in the picture.
00:53:04.000 One of the first things I do in a case, Lisa, is I always make sure people know if I feel the person is living or not.
00:53:11.000 So you'll always know when you talk to a family member, when you start a case, you'll know if this person is dead or alive.
00:53:18.000 And that's the point.
00:53:20.000 Can I just say something?
00:53:22.000 This is like that female journalist who debunked the Bible that leaks oil. 1.00
00:53:27.000 Congratulations.
00:53:28.000 You just, your show took down a psychic detective.
00:53:32.000 Is that a thing?
00:53:35.000 Have you ever heard anyone in your life go, have you checked in with a psychic detective?
00:53:39.000 They might know where your motorcycle key is.
00:53:44.000 Go back to that article?
00:53:46.000 I don't think this is the one that she wrote.
00:53:48.000 Is it?
00:53:52.000 What's her name?
00:53:58.000 What was that?
00:54:00.000 Purnima Mishra.
00:54:02.000 Yeah, I don't think that's it.
00:54:03.000 No.
00:54:04.000 It was like...
00:54:06.000 Really poor, uneducated geriatrics are occasionally full of shit.
00:54:12.000 Did you know that?
00:54:13.000 Yeah, that's the one.
00:54:16.000 That's Ruth Graham.
00:54:18.000 And just, she lived there for like three weeks debunking this myth.
00:54:22.000 Guess what, folks?
00:54:24.000 Scoop.
00:54:25.000 Breaking.
00:54:26.000 The Bible that they have is not magic.
00:54:28.000 It's actually a scam.
00:54:32.000 I mean, it's the next Watergate, really.
00:54:34.000 She busted it open.
00:54:36.000 Oilgate.
00:54:37.000 But go back to that article.
00:54:39.000 We just have to show how fucking long it is. 0.81
00:54:43.000 Like, this is her notes.
00:54:45.000 It's not the article.
00:54:47.000 You published your notes.
00:54:50.000 Look at this.
00:54:50.000 On and on and on.
00:54:52.000 And then at the end, when she discovers it's fake, they all ghost her, obviously.
00:54:57.000 They holy ghost her. 0.95
00:54:58.000 This guy says he's a time traveler.
00:55:00.000 I think he's at it.
00:55:01.000 But he says he's a time traveler.
00:55:03.000 Watch them in your in.
00:55:04.000 Watch them in your on-time G-Dog.
00:55:08.000 Oh, my own time, I think you meant to say?
00:55:10.000 Or his time?
00:55:11.000 Fuck knows anymore.
00:55:12.000 Okay, let's see this time traveler.
00:55:17.000 I don't like usually going there, but what I'm about to show you is going to blow your freaking mind.
00:55:22.000 And it's going to prove to you 100%, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I am a time traveler.
00:55:28.000 Okay.
00:55:28.000 Let me show you something.
00:55:38.000 Guys, I'm here.
00:55:40.000 PC time.
00:55:41.000 Now, I don't know how much longer I could stay here, but this is so dangerous.
00:55:45.000 Oh, shit.
00:55:46.000 I don't like usually.
00:55:47.000 Wait, that's crazy.
00:55:48.000 I would say that's about 806% proof.
00:55:51.000 Yeah, this one's 807.
00:55:54.000 Okay.
00:55:54.000 It's probably more along the lines.
00:55:56.000 Yeah, this guy's just funny, by the way.
00:55:58.000 Guys, I am here in 1865 in a town called Phoenix, Arizona, before it became a big, thriving city.
00:56:06.000 How can you deny this proof?
00:56:07.000 I am literally here in Western times, 1865.
00:56:11.000 Guys, come on now.
00:56:13.000 How much more proof?
00:56:14.000 Guys, I am here.
00:56:16.000 Now I'm thinking he might be nuts.
00:56:18.000 Is he funny or nuts?
00:56:20.000 He's funny.
00:56:20.000 Because he had Museum right in there.
00:56:22.000 Oh, good.
00:56:23.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:56:24.000 Funny guy.
00:56:24.000 All right, last one.
00:56:25.000 Hey, G-Dog and King of the Fag Zone. 1.00
00:56:26.000 Where are the show notes now?
00:56:27.000 Can I get to them?
00:56:28.000 I gave up on that.
00:56:31.000 It would be nice to have access to this when I'm trying to red pill my lady and children. 0.99
00:56:34.000 But everything I do, you can just look up.
00:56:36.000 Like for that one, we showed you his full TikTok page.
00:56:40.000 I think it would be a good idea to put a link on the censored.tv link page, don't you think?
00:56:44.000 Ball bag.
00:56:45.000 Kick Ryan in the fart box for me.
00:56:47.000 Oh yeah, congrats on the baby Rye guy.
00:56:49.000 I'll let you kick me in the fart box if it's soft.
00:56:54.000 A soft kick in the butt? 0.90
00:56:56.000 Yes.
00:56:56.000 That's what your life is like.
00:56:58.000 It's a soft kick in the butt.
00:57:00.000 I don't know whether to take offense to that or not.
00:57:02.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
00:57:17.000 If I catch any of you fuckers alone, I'm going to fucking kill you.