Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - December 03, 2021


S04E61 - CHRIS CUOMO'S CAREER HIGHLIGHTS


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 58 minutes

Words per Minute

150.37996

Word Count

17,810

Sentence Count

1,857

Misogynist Sentences

80

Hate Speech Sentences

92


Summary

This week, the boys talk about a song about a guy named Tom Collins, and the New York Zoo hoax of 1874. They also talk about Chris Cuomo's political career, and Ryan's plans for the weekend.


Transcript

00:01:02.000 I was sent in by a baby monster.
00:01:04.000 It's the Sloppy Boys, which is the birthday boys.
00:01:07.000 And their song, Tom Collins, the guy who sent it said, I know you hate joke music, but this is good.
00:01:12.000 And it's not really joke music.
00:01:14.000 Like the Mr. T Experience had a lot of jokey songs.
00:01:19.000 They're kind of on the edge.
00:01:20.000 They did some Sesame Street covers, and I wouldn't consider them a joke band.
00:01:24.000 Ween is a joke band.
00:01:26.000 I don't like jokey music.
00:01:28.000 I don't like joking during intercourse.
00:01:30.000 If there's a queef, don't say anything.
00:01:33.000 I don't break for queefs.
00:01:34.000 We got to make those t-shirts.
00:01:37.000 I hope those guys are doing well, by the way.
00:01:39.000 The birthday boys were awesome.
00:01:42.000 Very talented group of chaps.
00:01:44.000 I'm going to check out their IMDbs.
00:01:46.000 But more importantly, that song's called Tom Collins.
00:01:48.000 I'm not a fan of Tom Collins.
00:01:49.000 I don't like gin.
00:01:51.000 Gin is what the Brits used, some weird juniper bush to stave off scurvy or something when they lived in India.
00:01:58.000 Gross.
00:01:59.000 But is Tom Collins alive?
00:02:01.000 Who the fuck is Tom Collins?
00:02:04.000 Besides a delicious gin drink for people who don't hate gin.
00:02:12.000 Wikipedia is always begging these days, isn't it?
00:02:19.000 It's created by John Collins?
00:02:22.000 A drink known as John Collins existed since the 1860s.
00:02:28.000 And in 1874, people in New York and elsewhere start a conversation, have you seen Tom Collins?
00:02:36.000 This is getting too complicated.
00:02:37.000 Can you blow it up?
00:02:37.000 I can't read for shit.
00:02:41.000 Read the Tom Collins hoax of 1874.
00:02:44.000 In 1874, people in New York, Pennsylvania, and elsewhere in the United States would start a conversation with, have you seen Tom Collins?
00:02:50.000 After the listener predictably reacts by explaining that they did not know a Tom Collins, the speaker would assert that Tom Collins was talking about the listener to others, that Tom Collins was just around the corner in a local bar or somewhere else near.
00:03:03.000 The conversation about non-existent Tom Collins was a proven hoax of exposure.
00:03:07.000 In the great Tom Collins hoax of 1874, as it became known, the speaker would encourage the listener to act foolishly by reacting to patent nonsense that the hoaxer deliberately presents as reality.
00:03:17.000 In particular, the speaker desired the listener to become agitated at the idea of somebody talking about them to others, such that the listener would rush off to find the purportedly nearby Tom Collins.
00:03:27.000 Similar to the New York Zoo hoax of 1874.
00:03:31.000 What a shitty hoax.
00:03:32.000 Boy, they sucked back then.
00:03:34.000 I have a sneaking suspicion everything sucked back then.
00:03:38.000 That's a hoax.
00:03:39.000 Hey, there's a guy named Tom Collins, and he's talking about you.
00:03:44.000 Where is he?
00:03:45.000 Okay.
00:03:45.000 I'll box his ears, I will.
00:03:47.000 I hate that.
00:03:48.000 That thing that you made a thing about.
00:03:53.000 All right, are we ready to start the show?
00:03:54.000 We've got a very fun show.
00:03:55.000 We're a little late on the Chris Cuomo thing, but that's an irrelevant about, dude.
00:04:00.000 You have to look at IMDb to see if they're still working.
00:04:04.000 So we're going to go through our 10 favorite moments of Chris Cuomo's career.
00:04:08.000 We also have Arthur Kwan Lee on the show.
00:04:10.000 He's a friend of mine, very popular hip, sort of the David Cho of New York City.
00:04:16.000 And he posted a picture of a MAGA hat, and it ended his career.
00:04:23.000 What a world we live in.
00:04:24.000 But before we get to that, Ryan, what are your plans for the weekend?
00:04:28.000 Let's have a nice light intro.
00:04:30.000 But before you say even that, I have to tell you something.
00:04:33.000 I got the number two at McDonald's this morning.
00:04:35.000 Number two.
00:04:36.000 A large coffee, those stupid little grease hash browns that are just grease with potato droppings.
00:04:43.000 They're not great.
00:04:44.000 And then the sausage egg McMuffin.
00:04:47.000 It was $8.60.
00:04:49.000 Yeah.
00:04:49.000 Inflation's real.
00:04:52.000 But if we go to the local deli near our studio, I could get a giant sandwich that I can't even finish for $5.
00:05:00.000 Just about.
00:05:02.000 Coffee, I think, is $2.
00:05:03.000 Two sandwiches and two coffees was about $15, maybe $13.
00:05:08.000 So that's a great deal.
00:05:10.000 Everything is expensive, thanks to Joe.
00:05:13.000 Joe is bad.
00:05:14.000 We've got Joe in the thing.
00:05:16.000 We'll talk with him.
00:05:17.000 Should we just jump into my pet Biden?
00:05:19.000 We could.
00:05:20.000 No, no, no.
00:05:20.000 I didn't say.
00:05:21.000 I said we're going to do a nice soft intro.
00:05:23.000 So soft intro, radio talk, you know, that kind of stuff.
00:05:27.000 What are your plans this weekend?
00:05:29.000 I don't have any plans.
00:05:31.000 Just spending time with my dot ski and my wife ski, and then it's her birth ski coming up on Saturday ski.
00:05:37.000 How is your silly little baby?
00:05:39.000 Just silly.
00:05:40.000 How's the shitting coming?
00:05:42.000 The shitting's fine.
00:05:43.000 I thought it would really be grossed out by that, but it's fine.
00:05:46.000 Yeah, you know.
00:05:46.000 But it's when they have folds, then it's going to get tougher here.
00:05:50.000 My buddy tells me when they get fatty folds in their legs, just open up the cracks, get the wet wipes.
00:05:56.000 So you've got, man, you have black tar the first couple days, right?
00:05:59.000 Yeah, that's all gone.
00:06:00.000 That's all gone.
00:06:01.000 And she's feeding okay?
00:06:02.000 Yes.
00:06:02.000 How about sleeping?
00:06:04.000 Sleeping great.
00:06:04.000 She took to the bottle, too.
00:06:06.000 This is the time where you have to introduce the bottle.
00:06:08.000 Natural breast milk, of course.
00:06:09.000 Otherwise, they won't take it.
00:06:11.000 So it's like kind of an hour and a half.
00:06:13.000 How long is your wife going to breastfeed for?
00:06:15.000 Forever and ever.
00:06:16.000 Probably like maybe up to a year, right?
00:06:19.000 Two years, I think, is really the top.
00:06:23.000 Really?
00:06:23.000 That's crazy, though.
00:06:24.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:06:25.000 Maybe a little over a year.
00:06:26.000 You know, my mother did it until me and my brother were 21.
00:06:31.000 How old is that?
00:06:31.000 And the weird part was, as we were getting older, she'd start wearing lingerie.
00:06:35.000 That is weird.
00:06:37.000 I did not like that.
00:06:38.000 That takes it from a nurturing thing to like a sexual thing.
00:06:41.000 I never thought of that.
00:06:43.000 Because of the lingerie, that's just my guess.
00:06:45.000 Oh, I thought you just wanted to look nice.
00:06:46.000 But yeah, that's right.
00:06:47.000 That's no way that's true.
00:06:48.000 Maybe you're right.
00:06:50.000 And the ball gag was very disturbing.
00:06:52.000 I'm sorry?
00:06:53.000 Nothing.
00:06:55.000 We always talk about this.
00:06:56.000 Hey, can you make me a sprinkles thing?
00:06:58.000 Or can someone out there make a sprinkles thing?
00:07:00.000 Oh, when they got the sprinkles.
00:07:01.000 It's time for the sprinkle.
00:07:04.000 And then it has, like, I don't know, maybe a cupcake.
00:07:06.000 And it has a bunch of sprinkles there.
00:07:09.000 Someone sent a cupcake shirt to my gym, and the owner of the gym just wears it every day now.
00:07:14.000 Wow.
00:07:14.000 And I go, dude, I think that's...
00:07:16.000 They're dissing me.
00:07:17.000 And he's like, no, no, they're not.
00:07:20.000 Okay, Chris Cuomo.
00:07:21.000 That's not a thing.
00:07:23.000 Like, don't you think it's weird that I'm known as the cupcake of the gym and someone sent a cupcake shirt in?
00:07:28.000 Wouldn't that be for the cupcake?
00:07:30.000 That's correct.
00:07:33.000 But this guy has the sprinkles.
00:07:34.000 I know a lot of you don't agree.
00:07:36.000 And you're just so wrong.
00:07:38.000 Like, the creativity required to do this bit is impressive.
00:07:46.000 So yesterday I go to the TJ Mac and this is the first time I'm finding this place available in my city.
00:07:57.000 And I see all the deal.
00:07:59.000 I see a Gucci underwear, I said Calvin Klein underwear.
00:08:03.000 And I say, I've never been able to buy this for $30.
00:08:07.000 So I go to different colours and they tell me, actually, this is half off.
00:08:10.000 It's not even $30.
00:08:11.000 It's $15 for three pair of Calvin Klein underwear.
00:08:14.000 You ever heard of a better deal than that?
00:08:16.000 So I'm going to go to Marshall tomorrow.
00:08:21.000 I mean, that's the Mona Lisa.
00:08:23.000 If he's not a regular on SNL within the next year, there's no justice in comedy.
00:08:31.000 Of course, he's a white male.
00:08:32.000 He's gay, though.
00:08:33.000 Can a gay move in?
00:08:35.000 Can you get rid of that fucking gay Asian?
00:08:37.000 That Gaysian who always plays a Gaysian in every single sketch?
00:08:41.000 On every occasion?
00:08:42.000 He's a Gaysian on every occasion.
00:08:44.000 He's the worst.
00:08:46.000 God, I hate that guy.
00:08:48.000 And I hate SNL.
00:08:49.000 You know, this guy, I don't agree with his politics.
00:08:52.000 Somebody sent me something that he was talking about Israel or Palestine.
00:08:58.000 But I think he's funny.
00:09:00.000 He's a Palestinian?
00:09:02.000 He's an Afghani, but he's pro-Palestine.
00:09:04.000 He's super liberal.
00:09:05.000 His politics stink.
00:09:06.000 But I try to get past that, even though all of his stuff is like confidently politically.
00:09:11.000 You say this is sprinkle material.
00:09:13.000 I don't know about...
00:09:15.000 I don't know.
00:09:15.000 I love women.
00:09:16.000 I consider myself a feminist.
00:09:17.000 You know what I've been doing since COVID?
00:09:20.000 Every stimulus check has been donated to a foundation that helps women.
00:09:24.000 It's called OnlyFans.
00:09:25.000 It's pretty dumb.
00:09:35.000 I don't like his smiling at his own jokes.
00:09:38.000 Like, he's honestly hateable at first.
00:09:40.000 He looks like the cartoon villain in one of those.
00:09:43.000 In Aladdin movie.
00:09:44.000 Yeah.
00:09:44.000 No, no, no.
00:09:45.000 The underwater movie.
00:09:47.000 You know, the woman who's an evil octopus bitch?
00:09:50.000 Oh, yeah.
00:09:52.000 Of course you know her.
00:09:53.000 Little Mermaid.
00:09:54.000 The Little Mermaid.
00:09:55.000 Yeah.
00:09:55.000 And the villain's name is?
00:09:57.000 Oh, Ursula.
00:09:58.000 Ursula.
00:09:59.000 Yep.
00:10:00.000 It's funny because I'm talking about politics and who's this guy and who's that guy.
00:10:04.000 And Ryan's like, I don't know.
00:10:06.000 And then the second a children's movie comes up, this pedophile goes, oh, I know that one.
00:10:12.000 Here's all the villains.
00:10:13.000 I know a bunch of political folks.
00:10:14.000 I know who John Lott is.
00:10:16.000 I know who Stephen Cortez is.
00:10:17.000 I know them by face.
00:10:18.000 Why does John Lott have strange eyebrows?
00:10:20.000 I don't think anybody got to the bottom of that, did they?
00:10:23.000 I don't think anybody.
00:10:25.000 This is why you're a moron.
00:10:26.000 Because if you don't know something, then it doesn't exist.
00:10:30.000 And if you do something wrong, then it's mistaken.
00:10:33.000 What I'm saying is that you set me up for fail right there.
00:10:38.000 I don't think anyone knows that.
00:10:40.000 What's 356 times 17?
00:10:43.000 That's never, no one's ever done that.
00:10:44.000 What I mean is I don't think that's a thing that would say that I have knowledge of political people or not.
00:10:51.000 Like, I don't know about his eyebrows, but I know that he wrote great books about guns.
00:10:56.000 I think he's a lawyer.
00:10:56.000 Like what?
00:10:58.000 21 Guns by Green Day.
00:10:59.000 I think he wrote that song.
00:11:01.000 Nope.
00:11:01.000 121 Guns Launch.
00:11:03.000 What's the book he wrote about?
00:11:04.000 Don't look on the internet.
00:11:06.000 I'm not.
00:11:06.000 I don't know the name of it.
00:11:07.000 More Guns Less.
00:11:08.000 But I know he's Gun Guy.
00:11:09.000 More Guns, Less Crime.
00:11:10.000 Gun Guy.
00:11:12.000 And he had some sort of a tumor growth he had removed from his forehead, and it made his eyebrows weird.
00:11:16.000 He looks like an actor from the 70s, but like that aged.
00:11:20.000 Jack Palance, maybe?
00:11:22.000 Something like that.
00:11:23.000 What do you think about this one?
00:11:24.000 Okay.
00:11:25.000 Last one.
00:11:25.000 I've learned that people love to compare politicians to Hitler.
00:11:28.000 Have you guys noticed that?
00:11:29.000 Like, obviously, Trump.
00:11:31.000 But they used to do it to Bernie.
00:11:32.000 They did it to Hillary.
00:11:33.000 And for both his terms, they did it to Obama.
00:11:36.000 And they would say shit like, Obama wants universal health care.
00:11:40.000 You know who else wanted universal health care?
00:11:44.000 Hitler.
00:11:46.000 Obama wants stricter gun laws.
00:11:49.000 You know who else wanted stricter gun laws?
00:11:50.000 That's a good analogy.
00:11:52.000 Hitler.
00:11:54.000 Like, I know what they're trying to do is make me hate Obama.
00:11:58.000 But all that's really happening is I'm starting to kind of like Hitler.
00:12:03.000 And I've learned.
00:12:04.000 That's a pretty good joke.
00:12:06.000 He gets away with stuff like that.
00:12:07.000 But he's like, all the way up to the spring.
00:12:08.000 No, sprinkles, Ryan.
00:12:09.000 You're cut off.
00:12:12.000 Here's another funny thing.
00:12:13.000 I've watched this a hundred times.
00:12:15.000 This woman accidentally fell into some sprinkles.
00:12:18.000 But sometimes comedy just happens naturally, and the timing is just exquisite.
00:12:25.000 Are you going to make that full screen or not?
00:12:27.000 Like I told you 8 billion times.
00:12:35.000 You ruined the joke.
00:12:37.000 How many times have I told you to just show the video?
00:12:41.000 Literally, how many times have I?
00:12:43.000 It does not allow you to do that.
00:12:44.000 I mean, this is the best I could do.
00:12:46.000 This zoom.
00:12:47.000 Okay.
00:12:48.000 But then you still got the comments.
00:12:49.000 You'll know it's.
00:12:50.000 All right.
00:12:50.000 Then in that case, then stay zoomed out.
00:12:52.000 But let's watch it again, even though we've just killed the bit.
00:12:57.000 This whole show is going to suck.
00:13:12.000 The way her head collides there is fucking fantastic.
00:13:17.000 Women want to fight, I think.
00:13:23.000 Ah, fantastic.
00:13:25.000 Speaking of comedy, this was really funny.
00:13:27.000 Some cop shot a guy in a wheelchair seven times in the back.
00:13:31.000 Now, I like playing Devil's Advocate.
00:13:34.000 And in this video, you want to go, maybe he has another weapon, and he could be pretending to be handicapped.
00:13:45.000 So what you do is you go to stab some people, you wait till the cops are there, you're in a wheelchair, and then when they come near you and say, stop, stop, you go, oh yeah, and then you get up out of the chair and bang, bang, bang.
00:13:56.000 So cops have to be prepared for that.
00:13:58.000 They can't give people with a wheelchair a get out of jail free card unless in case people start using it against them.
00:14:05.000 But this is looking pretty bad.
00:14:09.000 Pretty bad.
00:14:12.000 So he's shoplifting.
00:14:14.000 He's just pointed a gun at someone to telling him to stop.
00:14:17.000 He won't stop.
00:14:19.000 I got an idea.
00:14:20.000 Tip over his wheelchair.
00:14:23.000 I know if I'm handicapped, I'd much prefer having a bruise on my shoulder to having holes in my chest.
00:14:31.000 Okay, go ahead.
00:14:32.000 It gets better later.
00:14:34.000 Better in quotation marks.
00:14:40.000 Yeah, this is where it gets quote-unquote good.
00:15:06.000 Walmart is a fucking one, two, three, four, five.
00:15:12.000 What was that?
00:15:12.000 Seven shots?
00:15:14.000 Nine times.
00:15:15.000 Because he entered Rose.
00:15:16.000 Oh, not Walmart, Rose.
00:15:20.000 And then they handcuff him.
00:15:23.000 That's just thank the Lord in heaven above that that guy was not black, the guy in the wheelchair.
00:15:30.000 Can you imagine the rioting we'd have?
00:15:33.000 That's how I felt about Obama.
00:15:34.000 I was so worried he would get assassinated because we'd never hear the end of it.
00:15:39.000 That if I was ever near someone who was about to kill Obama, I would take the bullet for him rather than hear about how we finally had one black president and you killed him.
00:15:51.000 I'd rather die.
00:15:54.000 Also in the non-news, we haven't started the show yet.
00:15:57.000 If you haven't seen the monster truck, we haven't started the show.
00:16:02.000 Keith Olbermann decided that the school shooting was about Trump.
00:16:13.000 So Barstool Sports says, talks about the high school football player, the hero that rushed to the school shooter and got shot and killed, right?
00:16:20.000 That guy's a hero.
00:16:21.000 He's a real man.
00:16:23.000 He would have had a great life.
00:16:25.000 And then Keith's take with his doggie for his avatar is this kid died to stop a cool shooter.
00:16:31.000 Whose mother echoed the Trumpist fascism of Stool Presidente?
00:16:36.000 Oh my God, I didn't realize that.
00:16:38.000 So he's bringing in Barstool Sports and Trump into the death of that young man.
00:16:46.000 Mental illness.
00:16:47.000 It's mental illness.
00:16:49.000 How did Keith Olberman ever have a career?
00:16:52.000 He's worse than Chris Cuomo.
00:16:56.000 Why are you being so quiet over there?
00:16:58.000 Look at this.
00:17:00.000 Mother who criticized Kyle Rittenhouse's bad parents stabbed to death by her son on Thanksgiving.
00:17:07.000 A lot of funny murders today.
00:17:09.000 Ironic.
00:17:10.000 It's the funny murder show.
00:17:12.000 I guess we'll call it that.
00:17:13.000 Funny murders.
00:17:18.000 And then finally, in the fun section, we have this brilliant point by Tim Dylan where PETA launches a gruesome online shop with goods made of human leather.
00:17:30.000 And Tim goes, we'll backfire.
00:17:33.000 We all want.
00:17:35.000 Now, I don't know about the jacket that has the screaming faces.
00:17:38.000 That's a little elaborate.
00:17:41.000 But that bag, I want the human bag.
00:17:45.000 Don't you?
00:17:46.000 No.
00:17:47.000 Oh, come on.
00:17:48.000 No.
00:17:49.000 You don't want that human bag?
00:17:51.000 That would probably smell terrible.
00:17:53.000 What do you mean?
00:17:55.000 Given that it's...
00:17:57.000 Is this real?
00:17:57.000 Are you talking about real human leather or like the fake?
00:18:00.000 Real human leather?
00:18:02.000 Yeah, like if they were to really make a human leather thing.
00:18:05.000 Well, no, of course you wouldn't want that.
00:18:07.000 You'd be privy to a fucking murder.
00:18:12.000 You'd be responsible.
00:18:13.000 Obviously, it's fake.
00:18:16.000 That's why the word human is in quotes, Ryan.
00:18:18.000 Okay.
00:18:18.000 Well, then, I still don't want it.
00:18:20.000 Why not?
00:18:21.000 Because it looks...
00:18:22.000 It's gross.
00:18:23.000 That's like...
00:18:23.000 Yeah, that's cool.
00:18:25.000 For you, I guess.
00:18:26.000 Human skin bag.
00:18:27.000 You know, that first jacket reminds me of my buddy Peter, Skeeter, we called him in high school.
00:18:32.000 He really wanted a motorcycle jacket, a leather jacket, because that's what you need to be punk.
00:18:36.000 And they're expensive.
00:18:38.000 And his mother, he was one of like six kids.
00:18:40.000 His mother said no, no.
00:18:41.000 His parents said no.
00:18:42.000 And then he finally got one for Christmas, like three years into his punkness.
00:18:47.000 And it was the worst leather jacket I've ever seen in my life.
00:18:50.000 It was made up of one-inch by one-inch squares that were stitched together.
00:18:56.000 It wasn't one big piece of leather.
00:18:57.000 It kind of looked like that human coat.
00:19:00.000 I was just like, Skeeter Man, you got ripped off.
00:19:03.000 You've been wanting a leather jacket for years and that's what you got?
00:19:08.000 So it's on Urban Outfitters.
00:19:10.000 I want it.
00:19:12.000 I don't know about those.
00:19:13.000 What are those little toes in the...
00:19:16.000 That bag's pretty.
00:19:17.000 Okay.
00:19:18.000 I can see that a bloodstain bag would be cool.
00:19:20.000 Oh, those loafers are pretty cool.
00:19:22.000 What a conversation starter.
00:19:23.000 Hey, what's with your shoes that like an old pig skin?
00:19:26.000 No, it's human skin.
00:19:30.000 Yeah, why'd they make it look cool?
00:19:32.000 Oh, those are teens.
00:19:35.000 Looks great.
00:19:37.000 The Dwayne Weekend bag.
00:19:39.000 What does that go up a bit?
00:19:41.000 Get carried away with Dwayne.
00:19:44.000 So it's a black man's skin.
00:19:46.000 No, they don't have the balls to say Jewish.
00:19:48.000 That would be taking the joke too far.
00:19:50.000 Yeah, wait, why does it have to be white people's skin?
00:19:52.000 Well, Dwayne, that's more of a black name, isn't it?
00:19:55.000 That leather shows white.
00:19:57.000 Does it, though?
00:19:59.000 Oh, you can get different sizes.
00:20:00.000 How much is this?
00:20:01.000 Wait, you can buy it?
00:20:03.000 I thought it was a made-up thing.
00:20:06.000 Yeah, there you go.
00:20:06.000 You click on it.
00:20:09.000 See, the whole thing about these animal rights groups is they have to anthropomorphize.
00:20:16.000 Is that the correct pronunciation?
00:20:17.000 I was getting shit for print.
00:20:19.000 The animal to make you empathize.
00:20:22.000 Well, why don't you just do that with a chair then?
00:20:24.000 Stop hurting chairs.
00:20:26.000 What if someone sat on you all day?
00:20:28.000 But a chair is not a person.
00:20:29.000 An animal is not a person.
00:20:31.000 Oh, you make purses out of fucking cow leather?
00:20:35.000 What about an innocent four-year-old boy's?
00:20:38.000 What?
00:20:40.000 They're totally different, dummy.
00:20:42.000 And if you have to do something that absurd to make me sympathize, you're actually on my side.
00:20:48.000 Like, I could say, yeah, I have a leather bag, but it's not a human.
00:20:52.000 It's just a cow.
00:20:53.000 It's not like I'm putting a human into some fucking sewing machine.
00:20:59.000 We have the same argument.
00:21:04.000 Are you hurt?
00:21:05.000 Is that why you're being so quiet this show?
00:21:07.000 No.
00:21:08.000 Have I hurt you today?
00:21:09.000 I have not been hurt today.
00:21:11.000 You sound hurt.
00:21:12.000 You made fun of my hair earlier, but that's...
00:21:14.000 Oh, your hair.
00:21:15.000 I don't care.
00:21:16.000 I'm so happy about your hair.
00:21:18.000 I don't care.
00:21:21.000 That's not a pun.
00:21:23.000 All right, let's start the show.
00:21:24.000 Let's get the fucking monster trucks.
00:21:25.000 Let's get going.
00:21:26.000 We've got a hot chill for you.
00:21:29.000 Okay.
00:21:30.000 That sucked.
00:21:31.000 Here it comes.
00:21:34.000 Oh, my God.
00:21:35.000 Your lime is acting up again.
00:21:37.000 Terrible.
00:21:52.000 All right, that inspired me to start with My Pet Biden.
00:21:57.000 Well, now we've got to show another interstitial.
00:21:59.000 Let's see My Pet Biden.
00:22:03.000 Biden.
00:22:07.000 Biden.
00:22:09.000 President.
00:22:11.000 Sleepy.
00:22:16.000 Wait, what?
00:22:17.000 That doesn't rhyme.
00:22:21.000 So I sent you something that's not in the notes.
00:22:24.000 And he's not bumbling in this, but his actual voice itself sounds really bad.
00:22:31.000 So let's be clear here.
00:22:32.000 There's two problems with Joe.
00:22:34.000 His brain is falling apart.
00:22:36.000 And his physical health, even if he had a great brain, is falling apart.
00:22:42.000 And for the 50th time, we like him.
00:22:45.000 He's an endearing old man and we wish he was at our local bar in a cardigan bumping into walls.
00:22:51.000 Nuclear codes, not so much.
00:22:54.000 Funding the government isn't a great achievement.
00:22:57.000 It's a bare minimum what we need to get done.
00:22:59.000 But in these times of...
00:23:02.000 You know what it sounds like?
00:23:04.000 The police are at his door at four in the morning, and they go, sir, you have a car parked sideways on your lawn.
00:23:10.000 And he's like, yes, officer, when we came back from our vacation, we realized they were not done the driveway.
00:23:19.000 And my son-in-law is coming over later.
00:23:21.000 So we had to make room for him.
00:23:23.000 So I sacrificed a patch of lawn.
00:23:25.000 And that's why it looks like that.
00:23:28.000 It's not an accident.
00:23:29.000 But thank you for your concern.
00:23:31.000 That's what he sounds like.
00:23:34.000 Hey.
00:23:36.000 You guys just woke me up.
00:23:38.000 So I have my sleeping cap on, obviously.
00:23:42.000 Did you tattoo your eyeballs, Joe?
00:23:45.000 No, they're just really closed.
00:23:47.000 No, I'm just the angel of death.
00:23:49.000 Wait, the angel of death already took over Joe.
00:23:52.000 I am him.
00:23:53.000 That's why you sound articulate for once.
00:23:56.000 You're a demon.
00:23:57.000 That's me up there.
00:24:02.000 Partisan cooperation is worth recognition.
00:24:05.000 So I want to thank Senators Schumer and McConnell and Speaker Police.
00:24:08.000 Funding the government isn't a great.
00:24:10.000 It's an improvement.
00:24:13.000 Like his health is going down, but that sounds more like a president than...
00:24:18.000 No, but it's separate, though.
00:24:20.000 That's his physical, that's his esophagus, his larynx failing.
00:24:25.000 Usually it's his brain failing.
00:24:28.000 Let's jump to his brain failing.
00:24:30.000 Here you realize he doesn't understand the structure of a joke.
00:24:34.000 Here's how you do a joke.
00:24:35.000 You go, you know, I've been spending so much time with Dr. Fichi, not Fiji, Fauci, that sometimes spend more time with him than my wife.
00:24:44.000 I don't know.
00:24:45.000 Which one am I married to again?
00:24:46.000 Is it Fauci?
00:24:47.000 Is that my wife?
00:24:49.000 That's a joke.
00:24:50.000 It's not a good joke, but it's a joke.
00:24:53.000 Another separate joke is, you know, watch the news every day.
00:24:57.000 We got Fauci every 10 seconds going on.
00:25:00.000 Is he the president?
00:25:01.000 Even I'm getting confused at this point.
00:25:03.000 That's a different joke.
00:25:05.000 Joe somehow combines those two jokes into something that makes no sense.
00:25:14.000 Wait.
00:25:16.000 Is that it?
00:25:17.000 Nope.
00:25:18.000 Oh, sorry.
00:25:18.000 I should have told you that I'm jumping to 2-0.
00:25:29.000 Dr. Fauci that I have my wife.
00:25:31.000 We kid each other.
00:25:32.000 But you look, who's president?
00:25:35.000 Fauci.
00:25:36.000 But all kidding aside, I sincerely mean it.
00:25:40.000 I've seen more.
00:25:41.000 All kidding aside, is him petrified someone's going to take his joke seriously.
00:25:45.000 But go back to the beginning.
00:25:47.000 You fucked it up.
00:25:50.000 I've seen more of Dr. Fauci than I have my wife.
00:25:53.000 We kid each other.
00:25:54.000 But you look, who's president?
00:25:57.000 Fauci.
00:25:59.000 But all kidding aside, I sincerely mean it.
00:26:02.000 He took two separate jokes and gave a limp, dicked, terrible, puky, shitty.
00:26:09.000 It's like he talks like post-cum.
00:26:13.000 You know, after you jizz, you think you're done, and then there's a drop later?
00:26:16.000 That's who Joe Biden is.
00:26:18.000 He's post-cum.
00:26:20.000 That's when they say he's PC.
00:26:21.000 That's what they mean.
00:26:25.000 If you go to 2-1 here, now, I have a very faint memory of my dad reading me a bedtime story, but dads are not good at bedtime stories because what's going through our minds is, I can't believe this bitch got paid for this piece of crap.
00:26:37.000 Then another minute went by and it was 12.30.
00:26:40.000 The clock strikes 12.
00:26:42.000 Like, they all suck.
00:26:44.000 And it's the stupidest, easiest job in the world.
00:26:46.000 So you're reading it and you're kind of annoyed.
00:26:48.000 And then whenever I would read my kids' stories, if I didn't change the things and they'd always go, you're reading it wrong.
00:26:53.000 You're reading it wrong.
00:26:54.000 Because they could tell I was making up the story.
00:26:56.000 I get this yawn that was totally involuntary.
00:27:00.000 And moms are great at reading books.
00:27:03.000 Women are agreeable.
00:27:04.000 They can get into it.
00:27:06.000 They do the voices.
00:27:07.000 They get excited.
00:27:08.000 Dad suck at it.
00:27:09.000 I remember the few times my dad would read a story over my mom.
00:27:12.000 He sounded like not himself.
00:27:15.000 So he'd say, and then the cockatoo came out from the building.
00:27:20.000 Where are you?
00:27:21.000 said the cockatoo.
00:27:22.000 And I remember being a little kid going, his heart's not in this.
00:27:25.000 This is not him.
00:27:27.000 And that's how Biden sounds when he does these speeches.
00:27:30.000 He sounds like a half-assed reader who really doesn't want to be there.
00:27:35.000 He's dialing it in, I guess is what I'm saying.
00:27:38.000 That's 2-1.
00:27:39.000 Taken in partnership with private business and labor, retailers and grocery stores, freight movers and railroads.
00:27:50.000 See, the shelves of our stores are going to be well stocked.
00:27:55.000 We've sped up operations at our ports.
00:27:57.000 For example, at the Port of Los Angeles and Long Beach, the two busiest ports in America.
00:28:02.000 Over the last month, the number of containers left sitting on the docks for over eight days is down by 40 percent.
00:28:09.000 My administration has taken in partnership with private business and labor.
00:28:17.000 Finally, we have these kids.
00:28:20.000 This isn't really Joe Biden related.
00:28:22.000 They're yelling, let's go, Brandon.
00:28:24.000 But let's see if you can see what I thought the takeaway was.
00:28:28.000 There's a hidden little weird Easter egg here that actually has nothing to do with Joe Biden.
00:28:32.000 This is 19, and they're doing some sort of, fuck Kyle Rittenhouse.
00:28:38.000 We don't want him on our campus.
00:28:39.000 He's racist.
00:28:40.000 And then everyone starts yelling, let's go, Brandon.
00:28:42.000 But I want you to notice something about the reaction.
00:29:06.000 Let's go, Brandon.
00:29:11.000 Okay, so stop.
00:29:12.000 What do you think is a weird, quirky takeaway from that video?
00:29:19.000 Don't ask me because I've seen the notes.
00:29:21.000 Oh, shit.
00:29:23.000 Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater.
00:29:25.000 I could have.
00:29:26.000 Their security blanket.
00:29:27.000 So there's obviously a mild confrontation going on.
00:29:30.000 They assume that everyone hates Kyle Rittenhouse and Trump, but then they have a bunch of Biden haters, which you can assume they kind of like Trump if they're yelling, let's go, Brandon.
00:29:40.000 And what do they do?
00:29:41.000 They just, they go to their phones.
00:29:44.000 You know, you have people taking upwards of a thousand selfies a day, and it gets to the point where this isn't you.
00:29:51.000 I saw this.
00:29:52.000 I'm plagiarizing an interview.
00:29:54.000 I saw obviously.
00:29:55.000 This isn't you.
00:29:56.000 This is you.
00:29:58.000 So they're holding their security blankets mid-confrontation.
00:30:02.000 Hey, fuck you guys.
00:30:04.000 And then zhoom.
00:30:05.000 They go and hide in their phones.
00:30:08.000 Look at the black girl.
00:30:12.000 She's like gone.
00:30:14.000 She's not there.
00:30:15.000 She's in a cocoon.
00:30:16.000 It's like an armadillo rolling up with the armor.
00:30:20.000 They hide inside of their phones.
00:30:22.000 What should I do now, phone?
00:30:24.000 Help me.
00:30:27.000 Anyway, good to see people yelling.
00:30:29.000 Let's go, Brandon.
00:30:30.000 I'm at the point now where I'm completely fascinated by people who like Joe Biden.
00:30:36.000 And if you go to 2-2, I saw this fuckface.
00:30:43.000 What's his steal again?
00:30:45.000 Probably wrote some stupid fiction book.
00:30:46.000 Maybe he writes children's books.
00:30:48.000 Author of God is Love, Don't Be a Jerk.
00:30:50.000 Love Your Neighbor, Get Vaccinated.
00:30:52.000 This is more than you.
00:30:53.000 Ugh.
00:30:55.000 That's a really long title.
00:30:56.000 Not exactly catchy, is it?
00:30:59.000 God is Love, Don't Be a Jerk.
00:31:00.000 Oh, there's Amy Siskind.
00:31:03.000 Look at that.
00:31:04.000 Top left.
00:31:05.000 Looking nothing like she looks.
00:31:08.000 In the midst of this trying time, John's bold, unwavering voice encourages us to find our common ground and together to rise up against bigotry and hatred.
00:31:18.000 Says the woman in the whitest neighborhood in all of Westchester.
00:31:25.000 Anyway, look at all these response.
00:31:28.000 I thank God every day for Joe Biden.
00:31:32.000 What?
00:31:34.000 Keep going.
00:31:37.000 I think I speak for a lot of Canadians here.
00:31:39.000 We're really happy about that as well.
00:31:42.000 My stomach turns at the thought of the alternative.
00:31:45.000 What do you mean, someone who speaks English and isn't dying?
00:31:49.000 Any of the, literally any, including Bernie, any of the contenders for DNC would have been better.
00:31:58.000 Oh, I like that.
00:31:59.000 The stunning accomplishments so far.
00:32:00.000 Afghanistan inflation, mandates, violence, opiates, border illegals.
00:32:06.000 What's this now?
00:32:11.000 That's him not falling down the stairs.
00:32:13.000 Do you really want to use stairs on a plane as an example of Joe Biden being awesome?
00:32:18.000 That's him not this year or last year or the year before.
00:32:21.000 Yeah.
00:32:23.000 Not a day goes by that I am not thankful for this man and the 81 million people who voted for him.
00:32:29.000 That should be in quotes.
00:32:31.000 Biden time.
00:32:33.000 It's Biden time.
00:32:36.000 Remember when before everyone knew he was retarded and they would all wear sunglasses because he was so cool with his sunglasses?
00:32:42.000 I think he wears sunglasses so you can't see.
00:32:43.000 He fell asleep.
00:32:44.000 He's holding the sunglasses like when you go swimming with goggles and you get water in them.
00:32:48.000 Like he's dunking the water out.
00:32:50.000 Maybe he does have water in him.
00:32:52.000 His ducks are leaking.
00:32:53.000 Wait, that's the same lady who made that lovely book review?
00:32:56.000 Yep.
00:32:57.000 What?
00:32:58.000 And she looks way better there than in real life.
00:33:00.000 Please, guys, keep harassing her on Twitter and trying to get her canceled.
00:33:04.000 All she does is torture people.
00:33:07.000 She's the Pied Piper of Karen's.
00:33:10.000 And she has nurse thighs.
00:33:12.000 Nurse thighs.
00:33:14.000 Oh, this one's getting closer.
00:33:21.000 All right, let's jump into this Chris Cuomo green screen.
00:33:25.000 Now that we're talking about politics and the left, I want to celebrate his demise.
00:33:31.000 Let's dance on his grave, shall we?
00:33:46.000 The 10 greatest moments of Chris Cuomo's career.
00:33:50.000 I feel the same way about Chris Cuomo that you do, that his fellow staffers do, that everyone does.
00:33:55.000 He's a douche.
00:33:57.000 He's a member of the douchebag Zip Brothers, Andrew and Chris, world-renowned fuckheads.
00:34:05.000 They come from a guy named Mario Cuomo, who was so arrogant, it was kind of endearing.
00:34:11.000 When he ran against Ed Koch, who was known as a gay at the time because he's gay, the motto was, vote for Cuomo, not the homo, which is probably why Andrew includes rainbows in everything he does.
00:34:23.000 So Mario was a pussy, but he married a mobster wife.
00:34:28.000 So he became a mobster wife.
00:34:30.000 And then he liked that tough guy thing.
00:34:32.000 Hey, I'm kind of a tough guy.
00:34:33.000 I'm kind of a tony.
00:34:34.000 Hey, T. Fight difficult situation.
00:34:37.000 So his kids grew up mimicking his dad's phony wise guy shit.
00:34:40.000 So now they think they're tough guys.
00:34:41.000 Hey, Andrew Como said to me in a tweet once, he's like, hey, Gavin, I'm a tough guy from Queens.
00:34:47.000 I don't tolerate violence.
00:34:49.000 You want to fight me?
00:34:50.000 What?
00:34:51.000 So you hate violence, but you want to fight me?
00:34:53.000 Because you're from Queens.
00:34:54.000 I'm a Queens boy, they always say.
00:34:56.000 Yeah, you grew up in a very affluent neighborhood.
00:34:58.000 Queens is upper middle class where you are, my friend.
00:35:01.000 You're not a tough guy, you fucking dork.
00:35:05.000 Anyway, Andrew's always been a shitbag.
00:35:08.000 I remember when he started out 10 years ago as the governor, there was all this money that poured into Albany.
00:35:13.000 He stole it all.
00:35:14.000 Albany was going to be the new Manhattan.
00:35:16.000 We need several billion dollars to make it happen.
00:35:18.000 What?
00:35:18.000 No one wants to live in the tundra.
00:35:19.000 He stole it all.
00:35:20.000 All his friends went to jail.
00:35:21.000 He did fine.
00:35:22.000 Arrogance is snowballing.
00:35:24.000 I'm a wise guy.
00:35:25.000 I can do whatever I want.
00:35:26.000 He starts grabbing tits.
00:35:28.000 And Chris, who's on CNN, is part of the Cuomo family.
00:35:33.000 It's not nepotism that got me this job.
00:35:34.000 We're just awesome.
00:35:36.000 No, you're imbeciles.
00:35:38.000 You're rich and powerful morons.
00:35:42.000 So now they're both ruined.
00:35:43.000 They obviously don't care about money.
00:35:44.000 They've always been rich.
00:35:46.000 But it's nice to see megalomaniacs who are totally obsessed with how they're perceived have their legacy flushed down the toilet.
00:35:53.000 I mean, I couldn't come up with a better revenge for these two fucking assholes.
00:36:00.000 So we're all dancing in the streets.
00:36:01.000 We're all thrilled that the sword of Damocles above this asshole's head finally snapped and sunk into his skull.
00:36:09.000 So let's start with number 10.
00:36:11.000 Of course, everyone remembers the Frito freakout.
00:36:14.000 CNN, MSNBC, they like to call Donald Trump Jr.
00:36:17.000 Frito, which makes no sense.
00:36:18.000 It's much more applicable to Chris.
00:36:20.000 And two guys come up to him at a party and they go, hey, Frito.
00:36:24.000 And he goes, the weirdest reaction ever, he goes, that's an insult.
00:36:29.000 That's a fictional character.
00:36:30.000 My name's Chris.
00:36:32.000 What?
00:36:32.000 That's like you call him an asshole.
00:36:34.000 He's like, no, who comes out of that?
00:36:35.000 It's in your bum bum.
00:36:36.000 I'm a guy.
00:36:38.000 Yeah, I know.
00:36:38.000 I'm insulting you.
00:36:41.000 Man, apparently, called Pomo by the name Fredo, referring to the fictional character from the Godfather films, which led to this confrontation.
00:36:50.000 I thought that's who you were.
00:36:56.000 But Fredo is from the Godfather.
00:36:59.000 It was that weak brother.
00:37:00.000 Isn't that your father?
00:37:01.000 And they use it as an Italian aspersion.
00:37:02.000 You mean you Italian?
00:37:05.000 It's a fucking insult to your people.
00:37:07.000 It's an insult to your fing people.
00:37:09.000 It's like the N-word for us.
00:37:11.000 I'm insulting you.
00:37:13.000 Thanks for explaining my insult back to me.
00:37:16.000 Fuckhead, you know what a fuckhead is?
00:37:17.000 That's when you get a blowjob, but you do all the work.
00:37:20.000 Okay, I'm not really talking about that.
00:37:22.000 I'm insulting you, Chris.
00:37:24.000 Number nine, of course, the fake weights.
00:37:27.000 Lifting 100 pounds over your head if you're one of the top bodybuilders in America is like this.
00:37:36.000 Next time you're at the gym, go pick up a 75-pound weight.
00:37:39.000 It feels like a car.
00:37:42.000 It's fucking heavy.
00:37:43.000 I'm sure it's possible to go like that with it if you're a major bodybuilder, like say this dude, who was not happy with this.
00:37:50.000 This guy went a little overboard.
00:37:51.000 He goes, by him using a fake weight, he's trivializing all the hard work we do.
00:37:56.000 Well, the hard work you do is pretty trivial.
00:37:59.000 But anyway.
00:37:59.000 I bent 75s.
00:38:00.000 What?
00:38:01.000 I bent 75-pound dumbbells.
00:38:03.000 You benched them?
00:38:04.000 Yeah, 8 to 10.
00:38:05.000 Yeah.
00:38:06.000 Okay, Ryan, thanks for interrupting the show with your usual garbage.
00:38:09.000 Do you go like this with him?
00:38:12.000 I haven't tried it.
00:38:13.000 Okay, give it a whirl and get back to me.
00:38:16.000 Anyway, show the footage of him with his weight where one of his staffers, who clearly despises him, has to do this thing where when he's handed the thing, which you can tell by looking at the way it moves, is clearly three pounds.
00:38:28.000 He has to go, oh, geez, what a heavy weight, boss.
00:38:33.000 Chris, what are you doing?
00:38:35.000 Just getting a little pre-show pump.
00:38:37.000 What does that say?
00:38:39.000 Como prime time.
00:38:41.000 Hashtag, let's get after it.
00:38:42.000 100 pounds.
00:38:43.000 You know, just kind of work it out a little bit like that.
00:38:46.000 You can only fit four things on the side.
00:38:48.000 Mr. Mandalay, grace us with your presence.
00:38:50.000 Tell him what you do.
00:38:51.000 Hey, I do all the video for the show.
00:38:54.000 That's it?
00:38:55.000 That's all you do here?
00:38:56.000 Can I just leave and get back to work?
00:38:58.000 No, we're doing a weight bit.
00:38:59.000 Just make everything look pretty for you.
00:39:01.000 He's very bright.
00:39:02.000 He's got great ideas, and that's why he's on the team.
00:39:04.000 Team Cuomo, strong.
00:39:06.000 Pass the torch.
00:39:09.000 New work to do.
00:39:10.000 All right.
00:39:11.000 Did I say holy fuck?
00:39:15.000 Yeah, he did.
00:39:16.000 Did he?
00:39:18.000 New work to do.
00:39:19.000 Oh, I think he did say fuck.
00:39:23.000 New work to do.
00:39:25.000 I bet there's a hundred people dancing at CNN right now that they don't have to tolerate this fucking douche.
00:39:31.000 Or his handwriting on the whiteboard there.
00:39:34.000 Yeah, I already mentioned that, Ryan.
00:39:36.000 That was the first recording.
00:39:38.000 What?
00:39:38.000 That was the first recording.
00:39:39.000 Shut up.
00:39:40.000 Number eight.
00:39:42.000 He denied existing.
00:39:43.000 This is fantastic.
00:39:45.000 So, Chris Cuomo is diagnosed with COVID, we're told.
00:39:48.000 I don't believe him.
00:39:50.000 And he says he's going to go down into the basement for two weeks.
00:39:52.000 Look at me, look at me, look at me.
00:39:54.000 Of course, spoiled brats don't like actually doing the thing.
00:39:57.000 They'd rather lift a fake weight than lift 100 pounds.
00:40:00.000 They'd rather go examine their house in the Hamptons and see how that little fun project is going.
00:40:06.000 They'd rather do that than sit in a basement.
00:40:08.000 So he thought, I'll just have it both ways.
00:40:10.000 I'll tell everyone I'm in the basement for two weeks, then I'll go to the Hamptons.
00:40:13.000 Of course, someone sees him there.
00:40:15.000 They heard on the news that he has COVID.
00:40:17.000 They see him without a mask.
00:40:18.000 They go, what are you doing?
00:40:19.000 And he starts insulting the guy to the point where the guy has to file a police report because he's worried about his safety.
00:40:25.000 Hamptons cyclist files police report after verbal confrontation with CNN's Chris Cuomo.
00:40:31.000 Yeah, and he was on Tucker.
00:40:32.000 Do you have any of that audio?
00:40:33.000 Show him on the Tucker thing.
00:40:35.000 What the hell do you know about this?
00:40:38.000 What do you know about the rules?
00:40:42.000 I like to say he was like a boiling pot.
00:40:49.000 Yeah, you know why he was like a boiling pot?
00:40:52.000 Testosterone.
00:40:53.000 He's clearly getting testosterone injections, and we know what that does to your old temporooni.
00:41:02.000 So he denied existing was eight.
00:41:04.000 Number seven, he knew he was going to get shit for that.
00:41:08.000 He knew it was going to blow up.
00:41:09.000 He just got caught lying.
00:41:10.000 CNN is the most trusted news source in the world.
00:41:13.000 So now you're in a predicament here.
00:41:16.000 I'm probably going to get toasted.
00:41:17.000 I've been fired a million times.
00:41:18.000 I'm annoying.
00:41:20.000 So what I'm going to do is I'm going to lay the groundwork and go, actually, I want to quit CNN.
00:41:25.000 I hate it.
00:41:26.000 Okay, so now when you're fired, they go, oh, CNN got hurt because he hates them.
00:41:31.000 Like Stern does this with America's Got Talent.
00:41:34.000 He's like, I got sick of doing it, man.
00:41:36.000 It was so gay.
00:41:37.000 No, dude, you got fired.
00:41:38.000 No one likes you.
00:41:40.000 Jackass loser, fat tirebreaker.
00:41:42.000 So go to the radio show where he talks about how he's going to quit.
00:41:44.000 I don't want to spend my time doing things that I don't think are valuable enough to me, personally.
00:41:54.000 Like what?
00:41:55.000 Well, like what?
00:41:57.000 He's introducing himself.
00:41:58.000 What I do, professionally.
00:42:00.000 I've decided.
00:42:02.000 I like doing this show.
00:42:04.000 I like talking to you guys.
00:42:06.000 But I don't value indulging irrationality, hyper-partisanship.
00:42:16.000 I don't think it's worth my time.
00:42:19.000 And I don't want some jackass loser, fat tired biker.
00:42:23.000 This is like the Weather Underground pretending that they're all about Vietnam.
00:42:26.000 So I want to quit CNN because I'm promoting hyper-partisanship.
00:42:30.000 Immediately drops that and goes to, I don't want to be in a situation where I can't beat the shit out of someone who confronts me in the Hamptons for lying.
00:42:39.000 You'd still get fired from your radio show if you were beating the shit out of people who caught you lying, dummy.
00:42:44.000 It's all the same.
00:42:45.000 So this was so, he's so transparent.
00:42:48.000 He's a moron.
00:42:49.000 I don't like throwing the word dumb around, but he's a fucking imbecile.
00:42:54.000 And he thinks we can't see this is him covering his ass for his imminent demise.
00:42:59.000 He must have known he's going to get fired.
00:43:01.000 And he did.
00:43:03.000 Spoiler alert, that's coming up.
00:43:05.000 All right.
00:43:07.000 Number six, he became Jesus.
00:43:09.000 So just like Stalin, you know, all these communist leaders, Kim Jong-un would do this thing where he'd pretend he was swimming across this terrible river with an intense current because he had scuba divers underneath with little jet packs.
00:43:20.000 So they'd see him just, it looks ridiculous.
00:43:22.000 He's like, swimming super fast.
00:43:26.000 And I think Shea Guevara or Fidel would do this with basketball.
00:43:29.000 They'd edit these videos where they look like gods.
00:43:32.000 It's what people drunk with power do.
00:43:33.000 Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts, absolutely.
00:43:36.000 So Chris thinks that we're going to forget number seven and number eight when he got caught in the Hamptons.
00:43:45.000 So he comes out of the cave like Jesus after three days and he emerges like nothing ever happened and he's got his two weeks in.
00:43:55.000 And look how awkward he is.
00:43:58.000 All right, here is the official re-entry from the basement.
00:44:03.000 Cleared by CDC, a little sweaty, just worked out.
00:44:06.000 Happens.
00:44:08.000 This is what I've been dreaming of.
00:44:10.000 Literally for weeks.
00:44:12.000 Literally for weeks.
00:44:14.000 You haven't seen your wife for weeks?
00:44:15.000 Did you see her at the Hampers when you were with her?
00:44:18.000 She doesn't have fever.
00:44:19.000 She doesn't have the symptoms anymore.
00:44:20.000 More than seven days from her quarantine.
00:44:23.000 We're still a little scared, so I'll just give you one of these.
00:44:25.000 What is this?
00:44:26.000 Are they surfers?
00:44:27.000 Just give you one of these.
00:44:29.000 Just give you one of these.
00:44:30.000 Bella has, of course, taken the video.
00:44:33.000 This is the dream.
00:44:35.000 Just to be back up here.
00:44:36.000 I love when he talks to his son, and he clearly hasn't talked to him.
00:44:39.000 Ever.
00:44:39.000 Thank you for taking care of everything you had to.
00:44:42.000 Thank you for taking care of yourself.
00:44:43.000 What did he say?
00:44:44.000 Thank you for doing everything you had to do.
00:44:46.000 Hey, Chris, how old is your son?
00:44:48.000 What grade is he in?
00:44:51.000 What's his favorite team?
00:44:53.000 Ask the O-Pear and the Nanny.
00:44:55.000 They know better than you, you fucking phony.
00:44:58.000 This was really amazing.
00:44:59.000 I kind of want to make this my number one.
00:45:02.000 I did a parody of it that wasn't as good as this.
00:45:05.000 Oh, there it is.
00:45:06.000 All right.
00:45:07.000 This is it.
00:45:09.000 The official re-entry from the basement.
00:45:14.000 Cleared by the CDC.
00:45:17.000 I'm sweaty.
00:45:18.000 I was working out.
00:45:20.000 That happens.
00:45:21.000 My joke, that happens, wasn't as douchey as his.
00:45:24.000 Happens.
00:45:25.000 All right.
00:45:26.000 So that was a fantastic one.
00:45:28.000 We put a good one at number Six.
00:45:30.000 Number five, this was a famous viral moment where he said, Show me anywhere, any kind of founding father document where you have to peaceably protest.
00:45:41.000 It's not what you do, it's never been written down because I don't read.
00:45:49.000 And please, show me where it says that protests are supposed to be polite and peaceful.
00:45:54.000 And please.
00:45:59.000 The First Amendment.
00:46:00.000 You just got to look it up, Mr. Cumo.
00:46:04.000 Mr. Cumo, the right to peaceably assemble is in the First Amendment.
00:46:10.000 Number four, we all know what's going on with the legal aliens.
00:46:14.000 Mexico, this started with, well, it really got wind with Vincente Fox, where he said, look, prisons are full.
00:46:19.000 Let's just throw all the rapists, murderers over the border.
00:46:22.000 Americans can deal with them.
00:46:23.000 Subsequently, you have a much higher crime rate.
00:46:26.000 Now, statisticians who don't like that, they muddle the waters by comparing south side of Chicago and Baltimore with some little Nevada town that has a lot of illegals.
00:46:36.000 And they say, see, they're not bad for the crime rate.
00:46:38.000 No, no, no, no, no.
00:46:39.000 When you compare illegal aliens to every other citizen, they commit crimes wildly, disproportionately more than they are represented in the population.
00:46:50.000 But Chris Cuomo and this silly affirmative action hire, as she files her nails and Chris just goes, nope, nope, nope.
00:46:58.000 An actual non-affirmative action hire, a hardworking researcher like Steve Cortez, who's familiar with John Lott, explains why they're both wrong.
00:47:09.000 I don't think it is, but I think he's going to continue going back to it.
00:47:11.000 Final point, Steve, what you just cited about criminality between native-born and immigrants.
00:47:16.000 First of all, that's not true.
00:47:17.000 There's a lot of conflicting studies.
00:47:18.000 But even if there's legal entry as criminality, do you get the numbers where you want them to be?
00:47:25.000 No, that's not true.
00:47:26.000 Yes, that's not true.
00:47:27.000 John Lott did an extensive study of Arizona.
00:47:29.000 There are conflicting studies.
00:47:30.000 But listen, even if I were to grant you that point.
00:47:32.000 Who's John Lott?
00:47:33.000 Yes, there are.
00:47:34.000 But even if I, that's fake news.
00:47:35.000 We say there are not.
00:47:36.000 It's fake news.
00:47:37.000 It's fake news.
00:47:38.000 BS and say that it's equal to the real data.
00:47:41.000 It's not BS.
00:47:42.000 But even if I were to say, Steve getting the last word.
00:47:45.000 Okay, the point is the illegal alien crime rate should be zero.
00:47:49.000 It should be, you can do your nails.
00:47:50.000 You know who can't do their nails?
00:47:52.000 Are people who've been killed, Anna, by dangerous, known illegal aliens who've been allowed to stay in this country because of the leftist policies that people like you promote in so-called sanctuary cities to allow them to hide in plain sight just because you want to compromise your
00:51:58.000 that cuomo rich kid arrogance where i'm gonna have my staff write a book about how awesome i am even though i got five million he got a five million dollar advance.
00:52:07.000 Hire some ghostwriters to do your work.
00:52:09.000 You don't use your fucking staff, moron.
00:52:11.000 And Chris here started using his staff and CNN's resources, which is the stupidest thing.
00:52:18.000 He's also texting.
00:52:19.000 Hey, if you're such a wise guy, why are you texting?
00:52:22.000 You ever watch The Sopranos?
00:52:24.000 You're supposed to meet in a cafe and say, did you get that thing about the stuff?
00:52:27.000 You don't text and go, hey, that woman that is trying to get you, she's a whore.
00:52:32.000 I'm going to dig up shit on her using CNN's LexisNexis applications.
00:52:38.000 I'm going to use all of CNN's resources.
00:52:41.000 Send.
00:52:42.000 You're obviously not a wise guy.
00:52:44.000 You're a fucking amateur poser zip douche.
00:52:51.000 So let's hear this with the old using the CNN to help his brother get out of sexual assault charges.
00:52:57.000 Cuomo attempted to kiss a woman, Anna Rausch, at a wedding.
00:53:00.000 Chris Cuomo texted Cuomo's aides saying, quote, I have a lead on the wedding girl.
00:53:06.000 Also in March, DeRosa texted Chris Cuomo, rumor going around from Politico, one to two more people coming out tomorrow.
00:53:13.000 Can you check your sources?
00:53:14.000 The CNN primetime host responded, on it.
00:53:18.000 So this is more.
00:53:19.000 Fuck those two.
00:53:20.000 I hate those two guys.
00:53:22.000 Mr. HuffPo Progressive and Mr. Pussy Proud Boys Basher.
00:53:27.000 Yeah, I hate a lot of people, but I'm so thankful.
00:53:30.000 I feel like that kid in Animal House who's reading Playboy and a Playboy Bunny comes flying through the window and he goes, thanks, God.
00:53:37.000 Like, God, I don't think you could do a better job of vanquishing my enemies than you've done with Andrew and Chris.
00:53:43.000 Thank you.
00:53:44.000 So I don't deserve it, but thank you.
00:54:01.000 Slam dunk.
00:54:02.000 Nailed it, Gav.
00:54:04.000 Did you know that the guy who did the thanks, God, is a born-again Christian now?
00:54:16.000 He's thanking God every day.
00:54:19.000 Oh, I get you.
00:54:20.000 You know, I just did the, I just mentioned the Animal House thing.
00:54:23.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:54:25.000 That's one of my favorite scenes in the history of movies because they didn't fuck around with that movie.
00:54:30.000 You know, like when you could see a fight that's half-tazed.
00:54:33.000 I was watching Curb the other night, the one with Proud Boys in it, and this Mexican is fighting Larry Davids' ex-wife, and the fighting is up there with Robert De Niro in fucking the, what's it called again?
00:54:44.000 The Irishman.
00:54:45.000 Irishman.
00:54:46.000 It's just like, it's so phony.
00:54:48.000 But this woman, find that scene.
00:54:50.000 They really launch her, dude.
00:54:55.000 Thank you, God.
00:54:57.000 She got some air.
00:55:00.000 Look at that.
00:55:02.000 I think like three guys threw her.
00:55:05.000 I think I can see an arm.
00:55:09.000 Oh, wait, wait, not there?
00:55:11.000 But there.
00:55:13.000 I don't know about that.
00:55:15.000 I think that's her arm.
00:55:17.000 There is one shitty scene in that movie when John Belushi falls backwards in the grass off the ladder.
00:55:23.000 You know, he's staring at them and then he goes...
00:55:26.000 He lands on what is clearly a mattress covered in grass.
00:55:30.000 And you see the grass peep things.
00:55:32.000 And you can see the bubbles in the whatever he drinks.
00:55:35.000 Jack Daniels.
00:55:36.000 Well, we couldn't see the bubbles when I was young because we had to bear the brunt of it.
00:55:40.000 Oh, I see.
00:55:41.000 The mists and the bubbles.
00:55:43.000 The quality was so bad you couldn't see the bubbles?
00:55:45.000 Yeah.
00:55:46.000 Dang.
00:55:47.000 Let's do the war on kids.
00:55:48.000 Let's.
00:56:00.000 We are living in an ageism era where children are seen as human garbage.
00:56:05.000 Regulations to indoctrinate American school children with poisonous and divisive left-wing doctrine.
00:56:17.000 1-1.
00:56:18.000 Drag Queen Storytime is gross.
00:56:22.000 As one person put it, you guys make peanut butter.
00:56:27.000 I can't believe this is still going.
00:56:30.000 To help make the world safer and more inclusive, we have drafted the most perverted elements of the gay community and put them in front of kids.
00:56:41.000 It's important to talk to your kids about gender identity.
00:56:43.000 No, it's not.
00:56:44.000 So on this Trans Day of Remembrance, we've partnered with Faye and Fluffy Storytime for a special reading of our storybook, Him, Hers, Them, and Theirs, to help start the conversation.
00:56:56.000 Have you ever talked to kids?
00:56:58.000 They're not interested in sexual things.
00:57:01.000 They're interested in video games.
00:57:03.000 Some of them are interested in baseball.
00:57:05.000 They're interested in something funny.
00:57:08.000 Maybe a mom slipped on a banana peel.
00:57:11.000 They're interested in that.
00:57:12.000 The way you define your gender and your sexuality, no.
00:57:17.000 And if that appears in a movie you're watching and someone starts kissing, they go like this.
00:57:23.000 They're not into it.
00:57:24.000 Thank God.
00:57:25.000 But you know what?
00:57:26.000 That trans thing makes me want to jump a little bit, Ryan, over 234.
00:57:33.000 I saw an interesting article about a study on trans deaths.
00:57:38.000 And they're like, no, trans people don't get murdered more than you and me.
00:57:45.000 It's female black, so male to female.
00:57:54.000 So black drag queens get killed more than you and I. But they don't get killed more than your average black man.
00:58:03.000 So they've skewed the statistics.
00:58:05.000 And there are some strange cases.
00:58:07.000 Like it's always the victims when you do these studies are always male to female.
00:58:14.000 And I think it's like some woman who took some gangbanger home and he finds out that he just sucked the fake tits of a dude and he loses his shit and kills her.
00:58:25.000 But black and Latina trans women are the only subgroup of transgender people that Actually, face an abnormally high risk of being murdered.
00:58:33.000 Black trans women, in particular, face a much higher risk of being murdered than the general population.
00:58:38.000 However, black trans women in total make up only 4% of all transgender people, amounting to about 60,000 people in the country.
00:58:47.000 Finally, black trans women face a disproportionately high risk of being murdered compared to the general population, but they actually face significantly less risk of being murdered than cisgender black males.
00:59:02.000 In fact, all transgender people, including black trans women, face less risk of being murdered than cisgender males of the corresponding race.
00:59:11.000 In other words, it's all a lie.
00:59:14.000 How do they link to that article, Ryan?
00:59:16.000 Go to the top so people can find it if they're curious.
00:59:20.000 Quantifying the epidemic of violence against trans people.
00:59:23.000 So it's a myth.
00:59:24.000 And it goes back to that Anna Navarro and Chris Cuomo just going, nope, nope, nope.
00:59:30.000 They've heard the first version of the story and they haven't heard the myth being debunked.
00:59:35.000 So they stop at that because that's what they wanted to eat.
00:59:39.000 When people are confronted with data that contradicts their beliefs, they become more steadfast in their beliefs.
00:59:44.000 I've had the privilege of growing up in a traditional Leiden says.
00:59:48.000 You believe what you want to believe.
00:59:50.000 On you, no one can depend.
00:59:53.000 Farewell, my fellow the friend.
00:59:58.000 All right, back to the bad.
00:59:59.000 Legends, because we had to bear the brunt of them.
01:00:01.000 That will never annoy me.
01:00:04.000 Yeah, you were happily interrupted.
01:00:06.000 Yeah.
01:00:06.000 You're like, oh, wait.
01:00:07.000 Fuck what I was saying.
01:00:08.000 My wife could be giving birth, and someone could play that on the TV, and I'd be like, one sec.
01:00:15.000 Because we had to bear the brunt of it.
01:00:17.000 We could indulge in the myths and the legends because we had to.
01:00:19.000 Is that what he says?
01:00:21.000 I was raised in a tradition that didn't have the privilege of living with the myths and legends because we had to bear the brunt of them.
01:00:28.000 Shut the fuck up, Eddie.
01:00:31.000 Let's just throw this teacher on the pile.
01:00:33.000 One, two.
01:00:34.000 Yet another.
01:00:36.000 Arrogant.
01:00:36.000 No, you're not going to get fired.
01:00:38.000 That's what's really so telling about these teacher confessionals is that they're so secure in their jobs that they can say dumb shit like this.
01:00:46.000 I'm corrupt and I'm evil and no one cares.
01:00:51.000 One of my students asked me why every conversation in class devolves into me ranting about capitalism.
01:00:57.000 It's because I'm the teacher that your parents warned you about.
01:01:01.000 I'm the professor that's going to turn your kids leftist.
01:01:04.000 Welcome.
01:01:05.000 One of my students asked me why every conversation in class devolves into me ranting about capitalism.
01:01:10.000 Even her tattoos are disgusting.
01:01:12.000 It's because I'm the one who's going to be able to do that.
01:01:13.000 This brings us to a new segment within the War on Kids.
01:01:16.000 And Ryan, I'd like you to make something for that.
01:01:18.000 So you got to do a Sprinkles thing, and so do you people at home.
01:01:21.000 And let's do a War on Christmas thing.
01:01:24.000 Can we make one of those?
01:01:26.000 You're all so good at this.
01:01:27.000 Look at this beautiful backdrop.
01:01:29.000 I notice YouTube is going crazy ripping this show, and I highly support it.
01:01:33.000 As long as the clips are under 10 minutes, it's only good for us.
01:01:36.000 But I was looking at it going, this background, this show looks very professional.
01:01:41.000 It's great.
01:01:43.000 So the War on Christmas, we talked about this already a little bit.
01:01:46.000 Seth Rogan and Sarah Silverman made a fuck you Christmas movie that ridicules the tradition.
01:01:55.000 It got a lot of blowback, and they are now taking that as proof that white supremacy is a major thing and anti-Semitism abounds.
01:02:03.000 Okay.
01:02:04.000 Let me explain something.
01:02:06.000 If I did a cartoon called Hanukkah's for Homos, and it was all about how gay and stupid and shitty and fucking this and fucking that Hanukkah was, the backlash would include attacks on me.
01:02:20.000 They'd attack Christianity.
01:02:22.000 They'd say that we're the chosen ones and you're losers.
01:02:26.000 And then for me to go, look, anti-Christianity, it's everywhere, would be hypocritical and weak.
01:02:34.000 You don't go around Harlem yelling the N-word and then when you get punched in the face, go, look at this, another anti-white attack.
01:02:42.000 You drew first blood.
01:02:44.000 You ridiculed Christmas, which is an attack on Christianity.
01:02:48.000 Make no bones about it.
01:02:49.000 And people said, fuck you.
01:02:51.000 And they were very creative.
01:02:52.000 They were aware that the movie was predominantly funded, created, produced by Jews, not Orthodox Jews, by the way, secular Jews, ginos, Jews in name only.
01:03:04.000 So when ginos pick a fight with Christians, the retaliation is going to involve Judaism, clearly.
01:03:12.000 And that's what they got.
01:03:13.000 Did you know the ships that brought the gingerbread men over to the Americas during the Atlantic gingerbread trade had elvish names?
01:03:21.000 And they're funny.
01:03:22.000 Sorry.
01:03:22.000 Don't Nick Fuentes me for laughing.
01:03:25.000 What was the other one?
01:03:26.000 Oh yeah, check out the producers on IMDb.
01:03:28.000 They're all elves.
01:03:29.000 The Zeitgebler B-gas was only used to treat Toy Fist outbreaks in Santa's workshop.
01:03:35.000 But you never hear about that because all the Christmas carols are written by elves.
01:03:43.000 We'd like to apologize in advance for laughing.
01:03:45.000 And then one day, for no reason at all, people voted Rudolph Antler into power.
01:03:50.000 I mean, his name is Rudolph.
01:03:51.000 They're adorable.
01:03:53.000 There's another one that's really great.
01:03:55.000 Did you know elves had been knocked off at least 109 shelves?
01:03:59.000 Somehow they always end up climbing back on and making rules about knocking them off.
01:04:03.000 And they always display the same voracious elf no-centrism that got them knocked off the shelf in the first place.
01:04:09.000 Some might suggest it's simply time to take the shelf down.
01:04:13.000 The international elf is the world's foremost problem.
01:04:16.000 So, by the way, I can laugh at that because it's also a parody of Nazism.
01:04:21.000 No, wait a minute.
01:04:21.000 Let me rephrase that.
01:04:22.000 I can laugh at that because I want to.
01:04:24.000 Because it's funny.
01:04:26.000 I'm not beholden to anyone to explain why that's amusing.
01:04:30.000 This is the best one, of course.
01:04:32.000 The old cookie monsters bid 6 million presents every Christmas Eve.
01:04:34.000 That's not possible.
01:04:35.000 It takes about one to five minutes to wrap a gift.
01:04:38.000 600 minutes in a Christmas night with 46 elves.
01:04:41.000 That would be 3,600 presents max.
01:04:45.000 I mean, what did you expect?
01:04:47.000 And it's not just a sacred tradition like, I don't know, the drinking the blood of Christ or the wafers you get.
01:04:56.000 This is Santa.
01:04:57.000 So it's our children.
01:04:59.000 So it's a Christian adjacent tradition that is all about our children's innocence and them experiencing joy.
01:05:09.000 And you shat on it.
01:05:10.000 So you're going to get shit on, dummy.
01:05:13.000 White supremacy is to blame.
01:05:15.000 And then the other people, the other reaction to that is, without getting into the Nazi stuff, they just go, maybe it sucked, Seth.
01:05:21.000 Did you ever consider that a possibility?
01:05:25.000 I hate you so much, you fucking faggot.
01:05:29.000 I hate you.
01:05:30.000 I hate you so much, you fucking faggot.
01:05:38.000 But baby monsters have been sending this stuff in relentlessly.
01:05:44.000 Have you seen these?
01:05:45.000 So that's an attack on Santa, but there's also this gay Santa going around.
01:05:48.000 This is slightly old, but I think it's Finnish, Norwegian, but it's a fucking commercial about fucking Santa and his ass.
01:06:01.000 Come a long way from Finnish.
01:06:03.000 Sarah could desecrate the tradition.
01:06:09.000 Go full screen.
01:06:20.000 Holy shit, I saw Santa.
01:06:22.000 I can't wait to fuck him.
01:06:23.000 Why would that cross your mind?
01:06:32.000 Isn't Santa all about kids?
01:06:33.000 Why are you sexualizing something that's all about kids?
01:06:38.000 Like, why don't you fuck Barney the dinosaur while you're at it?
01:06:49.000 Is this the next year?
01:06:52.000 Or does he keep coming back for more?
01:06:55.000 Oh, they're showing time go by.
01:07:05.000 This is an attack on Christianity.
01:07:15.000 That was a weird scene, wasn't it?
01:07:17.000 I guess you're saying he's a fun, gay uncle.
01:07:20.000 I had a gay uncle.
01:07:22.000 It was pretty fun.
01:07:28.000 Aren't gays into younger guys?
01:07:34.000 Oh, wait, did they fuck or what did they do there?
01:07:37.000 It's a dildo.
01:07:39.000 It's a condom.
01:07:40.000 How am I going to fit that in my ass?
01:07:42.000 It's a pinecone.
01:07:45.000 Your butt plug hurt.
01:07:47.000 Butt plug?
01:07:49.000 The fucking decoration.
01:07:52.000 No, I hung it on the tree in my ass.
01:07:54.000 This is a long courtship, but four years before you guys make out?
01:08:03.000 So how many kids didn't get presents because those guys were riffing?
01:08:07.000 You missed all of Africa.
01:08:17.000 Why do they want to do this so bad?
01:08:22.000 I've been naughty, Santa.
01:08:25.000 I like how they try to make gays romantic all the time.
01:08:28.000 Yeah, it's way too much for them.
01:08:32.000 We think we're nuts because we had threesoms.
01:08:33.000 They have AIDSMs.
01:08:35.000 They have AIDSMs.
01:08:38.000 When you go to a gay bathhouse, you have to wear rubber boots because there's an inch of calm on the ground.
01:08:54.000 I wonder how this guy is perceived in his community.
01:08:57.000 How come Klaus isn't dating anyone?
01:09:00.000 He thinks he's in a relationship with Santa.
01:09:03.000 He says Santa comes every Christmas and fucks him.
01:09:06.000 Oh my God.
01:09:07.000 Well, we have great social services here in Finland.
01:09:09.000 He can go to a loony bin.
01:09:11.000 Merry Christmas.
01:09:12.000 Here's some gay stuff.
01:09:14.000 I don't know if he's giving gifts to anybody else, but he just came over and emptied his bag.
01:09:18.000 Oh, wait, he got dumped.
01:09:20.000 Someone else is dropping off presents this year.
01:09:32.000 Ew, you're old.
01:09:34.000 I think gays call that a troll.
01:09:36.000 And then the young boys they like to bone are called twinks.
01:09:40.000 Here we go.
01:09:42.000 Put on your puking hat.
01:09:45.000 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, stop, damn, stop.
01:10:08.000 It sounds very gay.
01:10:11.000 Never see this happen in the States.
01:10:13.000 I'll eat your ass.
01:10:18.000 Fuck you, Norway.
01:10:19.000 Kiss my ass.
01:10:20.000 It's quiet.
01:10:21.000 Yeah, no, it's quiet for him.
01:10:22.000 Ew.
01:10:24.000 Wow.
01:10:25.000 All right, we need a palate cleanser here.
01:10:27.000 What could possibly...
01:10:29.000 That was unpleasant.
01:10:30.000 I'd like to talk about, and too, my friend Arthur Quanley, pull up some of his art so we can have some context.
01:10:35.000 All right.
01:10:37.000 Cool dude, very popular.
01:10:40.000 Always surrounded with hot chicks.
01:10:42.000 Surrounded by hot chicks.
01:10:45.000 He's kind of a rock star in the New York scene.
01:10:49.000 Very prolific, very hardworking dude.
01:10:52.000 And zoom out.
01:10:54.000 I don't like the scrolling thing here.
01:10:58.000 And he did a lot of neat paintings.
01:11:00.000 A lot of variety, somewhat realist.
01:11:03.000 Lots of lions and tigers and stuff.
01:11:06.000 And he would win awards and sell out Art Basil.
01:11:10.000 Art Basil is a thing in Miami where all the top, top cool people go.
01:11:15.000 And if you're popular there, you're popular in the whole country.
01:11:19.000 It's the spot to be.
01:11:20.000 It's the world series of like, I don't want to say hipster art, but good fine art.
01:11:26.000 What are you doing?
01:11:26.000 Why'd you stop?
01:11:27.000 I'm going to go to his Instagram.
01:11:28.000 Oh.
01:11:30.000 Talented artist.
01:11:32.000 And then something happened.
01:11:35.000 Word got out that he's not as politically aligned.
01:11:40.000 No, sorry, let me rephrase that.
01:11:42.000 If you're not 100% with us, you're 100% against us.
01:11:44.000 So word got out.
01:11:45.000 That's not me talking, that's that.
01:11:47.000 Word got out that he's not 100% with the radical left.
01:11:51.000 And once that happened, everything tanked.
01:11:56.000 He went to zero.
01:12:00.000 I mean, you can see this sort of Renaissance influence in his work, right?
01:12:07.000 Look at that smoke show.
01:12:08.000 His girlfriend is a 9.6.
01:12:13.000 Okay, don't give anything away.
01:12:15.000 What a hottie.
01:12:16.000 Does she have an Instagram?
01:12:18.000 I want to stalk her.
01:12:20.000 What's that called, being a simp?
01:12:22.000 It is being called a simp.
01:12:25.000 It looks like she's not there.
01:12:30.000 So a talented artist, and yet another example of the fascism of the left.
01:12:35.000 They want a gray communist world where when you go to an art gallery in New York, every painting you see is by an artist with the same views as you.
01:12:46.000 Do you really want that?
01:12:48.000 Do you want to go to see a concert and know the drummer, the keyboardist, and the bassist all agree with you on everything?
01:12:54.000 What kind of drab world is that?
01:12:57.000 What are the conversations?
01:12:59.000 Why talk to anyone in a world like that?
01:13:02.000 Everyone's your twin brother.
01:13:04.000 Everyone's a fucking drone.
01:13:06.000 They are pushing for a Pink Floyd video.
01:13:10.000 We don't need no education.
01:13:16.000 What a fucking depressing universe they want.
01:13:19.000 I want people that hate me to thrive.
01:13:21.000 I want to go to an art gallery and see a huge variety of paintings from all different types of people.
01:13:28.000 When I go to see a concert, I don't want to know their political beliefs.
01:13:31.000 It's none of my business.
01:13:32.000 I don't want to be guaranteed that the fucking banjo player from Mumford and Sons doesn't enjoy Andy No or Jordan Peterson.
01:13:41.000 That's bizarre.
01:13:44.000 Anyway, let's get to know Arthur Kwan Lee and ask him exactly what happened to his art career.
01:13:56.000 Arthur, are you there, sir?
01:13:58.000 I am here, my friend.
01:13:59.000 Great to be here.
01:14:00.000 How you doing?
01:14:01.000 I'm good.
01:14:02.000 All right, long story short, prominent local New York artist.
01:14:06.000 Everything's going great.
01:14:07.000 You accidentally get red-pilled, and now you're canceled.
01:14:10.000 Yeah, I came out as pro-Trump, and essentially, you know, this is a microcosm of being deplatformed across all these social medias like you have, but I've basically been blacklisted by all of Lower Eastside, and they want nothing to do with me because I wear a red MAGA hat.
01:14:27.000 So before that, you were known as a hot new artist.
01:14:31.000 You're going to Art Basil in Miami?
01:14:35.000 Yeah, you know, if you, it's pretty crazy because when I was in social camouflage and essentially being this beta male and not standing up for what I believe was right, I was getting all this coverage and getting multiple solo exhibitions,
01:14:51.000 but the images that I was rendering were all historical.
01:14:56.000 And needless to say, when conservatives make art, we believe in pedagogical standards because we're preserving tradition.
01:15:02.000 And what happens is the left is, the social justice political correctness is matriculating into the arts and entertainment, obviously.
01:15:11.000 So those are the gatekeepers.
01:15:12.000 And I'm basically in conversation with these people that can castigate my income.
01:15:17.000 And I just played their game until I was so fed up with their bullshit that now I'm in limbo, which is good, though.
01:15:26.000 But when I look at your pre-red-pilled paintings, or I should say your pre-Trump paintings and your post-Trump paintings, they both seem fairly similar.
01:15:34.000 It's not like you were drawing bunnies one year and then you started drawing Trump on a fucking stallion the next year.
01:15:42.000 Yeah, well, but that doesn't matter.
01:15:44.000 It's because it has nothing to do with the art in, like, there's art and then there's the art industry.
01:15:51.000 And the art industry, you know, it's this little occultic club of, you know, they worship the matriarch that we live in today.
01:16:01.000 Yeah.
01:16:02.000 You know, and it's, again, I was a part of this cool kids club and I was participating in their vanity and all their parties.
01:16:10.000 And again, like you said, I was going to Art Basel every year.
01:16:13.000 I was a White Hot Magazine, Art Verge, all these things.
01:16:16.000 And for me, I got to the point where, you know, I was raised, I'm a Christian personally.
01:16:22.000 And, you know, all the things that I believe in, all the imagery that I'm trying to capture in my paintings, they're not random, right?
01:16:32.000 I'm trying to denote, you know, I'm trying to bring forth the beauty that has historically been passed down.
01:16:41.000 And I think the main thing, Gavin, the main thing is that the left is a propounder of relativism.
01:16:51.000 And I'm seeing that in the aesthetics today.
01:16:54.000 That's why in Art Fasville 2019, which is the one where I sold out multiple shows at scope, the most hot work of art that sold was a banana duct taped to a wall.
01:17:04.000 Because only a person who believes that gender is a social construct will look at that as art.
01:17:08.000 Right.
01:17:09.000 And it's all boundary dissolving.
01:17:12.000 And I'm getting to this point where I'm recognizing that, like, you know, the left is, they just want to destroy any sense of objectivity and boundaries because they ultimately want to get rid of masculinity.
01:17:28.000 And that's what I'm really feeling in the gallery lately.
01:17:30.000 Yeah.
01:17:31.000 So what red-pilled you?
01:17:32.000 What brought you over to the dark side?
01:17:34.000 Or were you always here?
01:17:37.000 I got to tell you, man, like, I want to first say that my anarchist conservative predilections are, first and foremost, aesthetic reasons.
01:17:47.000 Everyone likes to talk about these political dispositions and the numbers and the spreadsheeting and the pie charts.
01:17:53.000 And I appreciate all that.
01:17:55.000 But bottom line is I would rather have my daughter look like a feminine conservative girl than this lesbianic, September pierced 100-pound, I mean, I'm sorry, a 400-pound pig.
01:18:07.000 So it's purely, it's aesthetic first, man.
01:18:10.000 It is aesthetic first for me.
01:18:11.000 Yeah, I never heard that one before.
01:18:12.000 I agree with you.
01:18:14.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:18:16.000 we say politics is downstream from culture, like this empty mantra, right?
01:18:19.000 But if you're actively engaging in that, then you realize that, no, we have far superior aesthetics because they're grounded in philosophy.
01:18:29.000 And as an artist, I always tell people, I didn't even choose to go to the right.
01:18:34.000 I was pushed to the right.
01:18:36.000 You know, it's like I did a show in one gallery in the Lower East Side, and a critic came, and right now the sacred cow at that time was Black Lives Matter.
01:18:44.000 All the galleries are showing black artists and, you know, this, you know, black excellence, whatever you call it.
01:18:52.000 Right.
01:18:54.000 And the critic asked me, how does this support Black Lives Matter?
01:18:57.000 I said, it doesn't.
01:19:01.000 I say, well, what do you want me to say?
01:19:03.000 And I've had so many of those things.
01:19:05.000 And I think me also speaking disparagingly about stop Asian hate also like definitely made it created some momentum to getting blacklisted as well.
01:19:18.000 What do you mean?
01:19:18.000 You're against stopping Asian hate?
01:19:20.000 You like Asian hate?
01:19:22.000 I love it.
01:19:25.000 I often say that, you know, if you look at the generation above me, the Koreans who came here legally and said we want to become Republicans and Americans when we come to this country.
01:19:36.000 If you look at that Korean generation, the ones who are on the rooftops in LA, right?
01:19:41.000 The ones who embraced the Second Amendment, they were telling all these young Asians, these privileged liberals in New York City, knock that shit off.
01:19:51.000 What are you doing with the stop Asian hate?
01:19:52.000 This is exactly how they're trying to use you like Black Lives Matter.
01:19:58.000 And I agree with them.
01:20:00.000 So what are they saying you should do?
01:20:01.000 Just like punch, fight back physically.
01:20:04.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
01:20:06.000 It's crazy because there is a moral imperative behind violence.
01:20:10.000 And it's like at the end of the day, violence is a reality.
01:20:13.000 And there's a big difference between fighting fire with fire and the person who started the initial fire.
01:20:18.000 You have to be able to protect yourself.
01:20:20.000 And I call out stop Asian hate the same way I call out Black Lives Matter, you know, because you're trying to make us victims.
01:20:27.000 And the whole Asian culture, if there is a pride in it, I mean, I don't do the Asian thing.
01:20:33.000 I'll be honest.
01:20:33.000 I don't know if Ryan does.
01:20:35.000 I'm teasing.
01:20:37.000 Ryan can barely speak English.
01:20:39.000 And he was born here.
01:20:42.000 There you go.
01:20:45.000 Hold on.
01:20:45.000 Just to interrupt here, I should catch him up to date.
01:21:01.000 I guess it's Cantonese?
01:21:02.000 By the way, I just brought in my painting.
01:21:06.000 Can he review it?
01:21:07.000 It's stuck.
01:21:08.000 Sure, sure.
01:21:09.000 Whatever.
01:21:13.000 Yeah, you.
01:21:13.000 Oh, that's for real, man.
01:21:15.000 Hey, come on.
01:21:17.000 We can't all be good at painting.
01:21:19.000 That's not what I was going to say, but yeah.
01:21:22.000 So let's get a metric of this cancellation.
01:21:26.000 Like, if you're selling 100 paintings in 2014, what are you selling in 2021?
01:21:35.000 So I'm not selling at that frequency.
01:21:39.000 I don't sell 100 paintings a year.
01:21:41.000 I sell several paintings for quite a bit.
01:21:43.000 So I don't do it.
01:21:44.000 There's commercial art and then there's fine art.
01:21:47.000 I'm a fine artist.
01:21:48.000 So in the commercial space, it's more of quantity over quality, right?
01:21:53.000 Okay, so let's say five, not 100?
01:21:56.000 Well, I mean, more than five, too.
01:21:59.000 But I'll sell to the point where, I mean, like, basically the galleries take 50%, but the point is they sell frequently.
01:22:06.000 And to give perspective on the question you asked, an artist who is doing well in New York City, they'll get maybe one solo a year.
01:22:13.000 You know, 2019, I had six solos.
01:22:16.000 So I was having a great year.
01:22:18.000 And I was getting a lot of PR associated with it.
01:22:21.000 And I've screenshotted all those that have been taken down as well, which is pretty funny.
01:22:26.000 But I've gotten to the point where like I'm in a, I tell people that I'm a tranny because I'm in a transition period where I'm becoming independent now.
01:22:36.000 So now I'm not selling at the same rate, but now there's no one taking this 50% cut from me because I'm having other people do it in-house now.
01:22:48.000 Okay, but I need some beef here.
01:22:49.000 I need some mathematical examples of your cancellation.
01:22:57.000 I can't exhibit with any of the galleries.
01:23:01.000 Not one.
01:23:02.000 Yeah, no.
01:23:03.000 That's why I'm going to Florida because the South Florida area, there are galleries that are not so woke.
01:23:11.000 I'm going to Florida shows.
01:23:13.000 You had six shows in 2019.
01:23:16.000 The word was not really out that you were full MAGA back then.
01:23:19.000 You were still the media darling, the art world darling.
01:23:23.000 And when you do those six shows, that's anywhere in Manhattan, anywhere in Brooklyn, you could go and you would be a darling.
01:23:30.000 Yeah, no problem.
01:23:32.000 Yeah.
01:23:32.000 And then, boom, word gets out that you're MAGA and it's now zero.
01:23:38.000 They want nothing to do with me, Gavin.
01:23:40.000 They want nothing to do with me.
01:23:42.000 And at the time when it was happening, like, you are, you're obviously not just because you're older, but you are a better cancellation athlete, obviously, right?
01:23:52.000 You and Alex Jones, right?
01:23:54.000 I'm not, that sword of mine was not sharpened at all because I was just, you know, I wasn't even, I didn't see this coming.
01:24:03.000 So it felt really surreal when it was happening for me.
01:24:06.000 And what was the exact moment?
01:24:07.000 What was the exact catalyst that sparked the fire?
01:24:14.000 I have a photo that, unfortunately, I took down.
01:24:16.000 I reposted it.
01:24:17.000 But I had a photo of my girlfriend and I wearing MAGA hats.
01:24:22.000 And you have to understand that, you know, usually when I use my social media, it's just my art, art, art, art, art, art, art.
01:24:28.000 And eventually I posted one.
01:24:29.000 I reposted It recently.
01:24:31.000 Yeah, you'll see it if you pull it up there.
01:24:33.000 Keep going down, keep going down.
01:24:36.000 Yeah, there you go.
01:24:38.000 Yeah, now I reposted this a while ago, but I posted, but when I put that up on 2019, I had all these people saying, I even had a galley saying, if you don't take this down, it's really disrespectful to a roster of our LGBTQ,
01:24:56.000 whatever, all this, all this stuff like that.
01:24:57.000 LGBT, yeah, Trump hates gays.
01:24:59.000 Yeah, he does, right?
01:25:02.000 But, yeah, and you know, it doesn't happen like that.
01:25:04.000 It's not like they all come together.
01:25:07.000 Why is your girlfriend Asian?
01:25:08.000 I thought you don't do the Asian thing.
01:25:11.000 I don't date interracially also.
01:25:13.000 Oh, really?
01:25:15.000 Yeah, I've had, like, you know, I used to have groupies, and I would tell them I don't date interracially.
01:25:24.000 Wow.
01:25:25.000 Yeah, like, if the beautiful, they look good, but if a beautiful, I don't know, like, blonde European comes up to me, I just told them no.
01:25:34.000 That's great.
01:25:35.000 I don't know why I like that so much.
01:25:36.000 It sounds cool.
01:25:39.000 So, sorry, I interrupted you.
01:25:41.000 So that picture is what did it.
01:25:43.000 That picture took you from 100 to zero in a second.
01:25:48.000 Well, I mean, there was already like grumblings about it.
01:25:50.000 Like, you have to stop this.
01:25:52.000 You know, it's like I have like so many screenshots with people, like big galleries that are big art dealers and curators and saying, hey, you know, I would stop this, this, that, and the other.
01:26:05.000 But yeah, that post is really what caused two.
01:26:08.000 I was consigned to six galleries specifically at the time, and I was doing group shows with other galleries.
01:26:12.000 But two of the biggest ones, that was the main check of my income, they literally just completely just stopped working with me altogether.
01:26:19.000 And it's funny, the way one of them went down is they said, hey, can I talk to you sometime?
01:26:23.000 I said, is this about me coming out as pro-Trump?
01:26:27.000 You know, you often say it's like we're gay.
01:26:29.000 It's like, it's crazy.
01:26:29.000 You're coming out as pro-Trump.
01:26:31.000 And then she says, no, no, no, I just want to talk to you.
01:26:33.000 I'm like, okay.
01:26:34.000 And this is such a cowardice thing to do.
01:26:37.000 And then she said, how about we meet at your studio Thursday evening on that week?
01:26:41.000 I said, okay, no problem.
01:26:42.000 So I'm there Thursday evening and a truck comes by and it's just loaded with my art that she was supposed to sell for the rest of the year.
01:26:48.000 And she wasn't even there.
01:26:49.000 It was someone to unload it.
01:26:50.000 Yeah.
01:26:50.000 And I just went, what the hell?
01:26:52.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:26:53.000 Crazy.
01:26:54.000 Craziness, you know?
01:26:56.000 They have no shame, man.
01:26:57.000 They have no shame because, again, the art gallery is just an extended arm of collectivism today.
01:27:05.000 And that's why I'm so big on, like, obviously I'm not, my visuals are not activist art, right?
01:27:12.000 I'm all about beauty and trying to make people curious about being religious again in many ways.
01:27:20.000 So that's kind of more my language.
01:27:23.000 But with that said, I think there's so much novelty in conservatives or whatever you want to call it, people who recognize the radical left for what they are.
01:27:34.000 I call us not lefts because I don't really like Republican, conservative, all of those other names.
01:27:40.000 We don't really fit in with them.
01:27:41.000 We're just sick of the liberal hysteria and bullshit.
01:27:44.000 Yeah, it's almost like you can call it either Trump or Jesus is like William Wallace bringing all these different clans together, whether it's the liminal order, the Proud Boys, or whatever it is, or the Republican.
01:27:55.000 It's like, but we're all fighting the radical left.
01:27:58.000 We're all fighting the English, right?
01:27:59.000 We're all these Scots coming together.
01:28:01.000 But we recognize the main enemy and who wants to destroy, you know, freedom of speech, your right to bear arms, and the family.
01:28:08.000 I don't care about your externalities beyond that, whatever.
01:28:13.000 We can go back and forth about that.
01:28:14.000 But bottom line, you recognize what makes this country so important and great.
01:28:20.000 And you love America.
01:28:21.000 Simple.
01:28:22.000 You love America, right?
01:28:23.000 And my father is a military veteran, patriot who loves this country.
01:28:30.000 And I was raised with that relationship.
01:28:33.000 So when I see all those vegumens in this disgusting liberal hellhole, it's anti-beauty.
01:28:41.000 It's anti-art.
01:28:42.000 Hey, we got to go, Arthur, but we'll keep in touch.
01:28:45.000 I want to see how things go in South Florida.
01:28:47.000 When are you thinking of heading down there?
01:28:49.000 Probably in a month and a half.
01:28:50.000 We'll see you there.
01:28:51.000 All right.
01:28:52.000 Hey, listen.
01:28:53.000 God bless you, man.
01:28:53.000 We'll talk to you.
01:28:54.000 Thanks.
01:29:03.000 It's a fun show.
01:29:04.000 A lot of variety today.
01:29:05.000 I like to keep it.
01:29:06.000 It's not a boring show.
01:29:07.000 As the French call, Voire Pole.
01:29:11.000 That's a weird, shitty joke.
01:29:15.000 We shouldn't use the interstitials because I only have three things I want to discuss here.
01:29:19.000 One was Sandy Bockham, who is on food stamps.
01:29:26.000 Her son OD'd, right?
01:29:27.000 This is amazing because they tie everything to Trump in January 6th.
01:29:32.000 We had Keith Oberman saying that the school shooting was the mother's fault because she likes Trump.
01:29:37.000 And then Sandy Bockham is talking about this video from the Guggenheim, and she pulls in January 6th and her dead son.
01:29:46.000 So they're talking about the Guggenheim has ties with the Sackler family.
01:29:49.000 Valid beef, great protest.
01:29:51.000 Sackler family's pure evil.
01:29:53.000 They are responsible for the deaths of thousands as far as I'm concerned.
01:29:57.000 And Sandy goes, when I shot this video, I had a beautiful son.
01:30:00.000 By the way, Sandy, your testimony helped separate John Kinsman from his son.
01:30:06.000 And by the way, little side note, thank you guys so much for getting way past our goal of 10,000.
01:30:13.000 Yesterday, what are we at now?
01:30:15.000 $11,000.
01:30:17.000 Christmas for Liberty.
01:30:18.000 We did that in like two hours.
01:30:20.000 We raised $10,000.
01:30:23.000 Fantastic.
01:30:24.000 She's thrilled.
01:30:25.000 I spoke to her earlier.
01:30:26.000 What a Christmas.
01:30:28.000 That rules.
01:30:29.000 Kids get whatever the fuck they want this year.
01:30:33.000 I think she should get them a car.
01:30:36.000 What do you think?
01:30:37.000 Or at least a pow pow power wheels.
01:30:43.000 So, yeah, Sandy separated John from his son.
01:30:46.000 But anyway, when I shot this video, I had a beautiful son.
01:30:48.000 Protesters threw shredded emails from the blah, blah, blah.
01:30:51.000 Blame the parents for their children's deaths.
01:30:54.000 Good.
01:30:55.000 Toxicology.
01:30:55.000 Then the toxicology said, my son died from acute fentanyl intoxication.
01:31:00.000 Okay.
01:31:00.000 That's not really OxyContin though, is it?
01:31:06.000 And then she goes, on 1-6, when I was at the Capitol.
01:31:11.000 Really?
01:31:11.000 Like, I'm sorry your son's dead.
01:31:14.000 But to just rope in Trump in January 6th to your son's cold corpse.
01:31:22.000 Well, yeah, Trump forced her to be there.
01:31:26.000 She had to go there and counterproductive.
01:31:28.000 Yeah, that's why I neglected my son in the worst moments of his life.
01:31:32.000 Call to duty.
01:31:33.000 Arguably contributed to his death because I wasn't around there to support him.
01:31:36.000 I was busy reporting.
01:31:38.000 Serving the United States of America.
01:31:40.000 Thanks, Sandy.
01:31:41.000 I'm sure your son appreciates it.
01:31:44.000 And then this was funny, an update on the march that was on Long Island.
01:31:49.000 A bunch of ginos had a ceremony at their synagogue to protest hate because Proud Boys, who have plenty of Jews in them, were in their neighborhood.
01:32:00.000 Rockville Center neighbors joined together to condemn march by Proud Boys through the village.
01:32:05.000 It's kind of like megalomania, isn't it?
01:32:07.000 Like you're marching through Long Island.
01:32:09.000 It must be about me and my Judaism.
01:32:11.000 You're so vain, I bet you think this protest is about Jews.
01:32:14.000 Yeah, that's a good one.
01:32:18.000 Well, people living here in Rockville Center came out together to speak out against hate, showing that their village will not be listening to them.
01:32:28.000 Well, you respond to them.
01:32:32.000 You're responding to them, so you did listen to them.
01:32:34.000 Yeah.
01:32:35.000 Who might worship another incarnation of God?
01:32:40.000 More than 100 people showed up on the steps of Central Synagogue Bethemeth in Vostok.
01:32:45.000 If I knew what that would be so good to go and just have them screaming hysterically at me as I was like, tell me what the anti-Semitism was about.
01:32:52.000 Where did you see that?
01:32:53.000 Isn't it telling that they're not afraid at all?
01:32:56.000 You know, like if Nazis are in your town, like, shouldn't you have bodyguards?
01:33:00.000 Yeah.
01:33:01.000 Hate.
01:33:02.000 This, after members of the far-right Proud Boys group march through Rocky.
01:33:06.000 Maybe you need earmuffs for the kid rock zone.
01:33:08.000 The far-right is pro-Zionist, pro-Israel.
01:33:11.000 Yeah, they don't know that.
01:33:13.000 Tune in.
01:33:13.000 They're probably pro-Palestine, to be fair.
01:33:15.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:33:16.000 They're probably there on behalf of Palestine.
01:33:24.000 The Proud Boys are classified as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center and Anti-Defamation League.
01:33:32.000 You can't remain silent because then they win.
01:33:35.000 And we can't allow that.
01:33:37.000 It was a slow day for the Anti-Racism Project.
01:33:40.000 Yeah, a lot of race.
01:33:41.000 Wait, I want to contact her.
01:33:43.000 What's her name?
01:33:44.000 Rena?
01:33:46.000 What the fuck is the Anti-Racism Project?
01:33:48.000 Ryback.
01:33:50.000 She must be twiddling her thumbs a lot on Long Island.
01:33:56.000 What a waste of time.
01:33:58.000 You can't really fight.
01:34:00.000 I'm here to fight racism in rich white neighborhoods.
01:34:03.000 Everybody has to learn to get along.
01:34:06.000 Everybody has to appreciate each other as neighbors.
01:34:09.000 That's ironic.
01:34:10.000 And not have this hatred that they're still a defined, hateful group invaded our downtown, trying to disrupt our beliefs and cause a divide in our harmony as a community.
01:34:25.000 As your mayor and your leader, I stand here tonight and say it's not going to happen here.
01:34:33.000 Now, the group here tonight, as well as State Senator Todd Kaminsky and Kathleen Rice, condemned the rally, and they say they will continue to stand out and speak out against hate.
01:34:45.000 In Rockville Center, Antoinette Beordi, News 12, Long Island, Ian Macy.
01:34:51.000 Sorry, this is like the whole homophobia thing.
01:34:54.000 It's not about you.
01:34:56.000 They're playing, the music they play is the Pine Tree Revolt about the American revolutionaries who were told they had to save their pine trees for the British masts, for the British ships.
01:35:07.000 And they said, fuck you.
01:35:09.000 And when the British sheriffs came to arrest them for it, they beat the sheriff with pine branches.
01:35:16.000 You hear any Jews in that story?
01:35:18.000 Sorry.
01:35:20.000 No one cares.
01:35:21.000 We're not homophobic.
01:35:22.000 We're homo-board.
01:35:24.000 And then finally, of course, I would be remiss if I didn't include this fun example of Caitlin Bennett roasting fucking Antifa.
01:35:33.000 It's really good.
01:35:37.000 Let's go talk to him.
01:35:38.000 Hi, guys.
01:35:40.000 What are y'all here protesting today?
01:35:44.000 Ooh, I'm a tough guy.
01:35:45.000 You look mad.
01:35:46.000 Your body language says you're mad.
01:35:49.000 What are you guys protesting today?
01:35:51.000 I'm a tough guy.
01:35:52.000 Anybody want to get their message out?
01:35:54.000 They're all so swale, aren't they?
01:35:57.000 Comrades!
01:35:58.000 Woo!
01:35:59.000 All right, this is a very cool group of comrades we have right here.
01:36:03.000 We're going to end private property.
01:36:04.000 We're going to...
01:36:06.000 Fight the pair!
01:36:07.000 Yeah, communism!
01:36:09.000 Woo!
01:36:10.000 We hate private property!
01:36:12.000 I gotta cover my face.
01:36:14.000 Woo!
01:36:14.000 I'm so strong.
01:36:15.000 I'm not a coward.
01:36:17.000 Hey, guys.
01:36:18.000 Don't try to pick on us.
01:36:20.000 We don't have very big muscles.
01:36:21.000 They're not very big.
01:36:24.000 So, no.
01:36:25.000 Then they know who we are.
01:36:27.000 We don't believe in anything that we actually say.
01:36:30.000 All right, so how are we gonna take over capitalism?
01:36:33.000 How are we gonna take over?
01:36:34.000 I don't know.
01:36:34.000 My head isn't sideways.
01:36:36.000 My eyes were built correctly, so I cannot read that.
01:36:39.000 Rise up in Prozac, I think it said.
01:36:42.000 Okay, well, wanting to...
01:36:45.000 Where's my Antifa friend?
01:36:48.000 Alright, so we're going to...
01:36:49.000 Right now we're walking to end private property.
01:36:52.000 We're going to kill the rich.
01:36:53.000 We're going to just take over everything.
01:36:55.000 No more rich people.
01:36:56.000 We're going to eat them.
01:36:58.000 All right, we're going this way.
01:36:59.000 This is as much exercise these people have gotten in a long time.
01:37:03.000 But this is awesome.
01:37:04.000 Don't touch me.
01:37:05.000 Don't touch me.
01:37:06.000 We're not giving consent.
01:37:08.000 All right.
01:37:09.000 We're in public.
01:37:10.000 We're not giving consent to record.
01:37:11.000 Do you know about the First Amendment?
01:37:12.000 We're not giving consent to record.
01:37:14.000 You don't need it.
01:37:14.000 That's not a thing.
01:37:15.000 You don't need consent.
01:37:16.000 I love it.
01:37:17.000 All right, look at them hugging.
01:37:18.000 They're very scared and really shy right now.
01:37:21.000 They're hugging each other, bundling up.
01:37:24.000 It's a little cold out here.
01:37:25.000 Look at this.
01:37:26.000 Really stunning and brave.
01:37:29.000 Oh my god, I'll Never recover.
01:37:31.000 All right, so right now they're actually going to their house, their mom's house.
01:37:35.000 They're going to their mom's house.
01:37:36.000 They're going to go in the basement.
01:37:37.000 They're going to warm up, have some hot cocoa, talk about destroying capitalism.
01:37:41.000 They're going to eat the rich.
01:37:42.000 Look at them.
01:37:43.000 They're on their way.
01:37:44.000 You can tell they eat a lot.
01:37:45.000 Very cool.
01:37:46.000 You guys go and take everybody's money.
01:37:50.000 I think there was a study in Europe that said something like almost 90% of Antifa members live with their parents.
01:37:57.000 Wow.
01:37:58.000 That says all you need to know, doesn't it?
01:38:00.000 All right.
01:38:01.000 What a show.
01:38:02.000 Jam-packed.
01:38:04.000 We barely scratched the surface.
01:38:06.000 But I think it's time that we skipped right over to the mail B. Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
01:38:18.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mail back.
01:38:24.000 Let me touch it.
01:38:26.000 You're not going to believe this.
01:38:28.000 First letter.
01:38:30.000 Pretty girl trolling Antifa.
01:38:33.000 It's like they don't watch the show.
01:38:35.000 But we just aired that one second ago.
01:38:37.000 I know.
01:38:38.000 Oh.
01:38:40.000 Hey, poopy pants.
01:38:41.000 I'm not sure who that's for.
01:38:42.000 I believe that would be you.
01:38:44.000 I've definitely pooped my pants.
01:38:46.000 I have not.
01:38:46.000 I was going through a real poopy pants phase like a month ago.
01:38:50.000 I shit my butt cheeks the other day.
01:38:52.000 How do you shit one?
01:38:53.000 How does one shit one's butt cheeks?
01:38:55.000 You know, when like you, you think it's a fart, a little liquid?
01:38:59.000 Yeah, yeah, that's what I do.
01:39:00.000 You don't fucking fill my underwear with like nine logs.
01:39:03.000 It didn't even.
01:39:06.000 Imagine nine logs of shit in underwear.
01:39:09.000 That would be a lot.
01:39:10.000 No, it's always like a fart, and then you look at the back of your underwear, and there's like a yellow highlighter pen.
01:39:15.000 That's what I'm saying.
01:39:16.000 It didn't make it to the underwear.
01:39:17.000 It was still caught within my big Dominican ass cheeks.
01:39:20.000 Good ass control, Ryan.
01:39:22.000 Good ass control.
01:39:25.000 I knew you'd be proud.
01:39:26.000 By the way, I totally forgot this too.
01:39:28.000 When my baby was born, I stole your essence.
01:39:31.000 And the woman came in to like, I stole one of it.
01:39:34.000 Like, this is a total Gavin ripoff.
01:39:36.000 She comes in, she's like, okay, we're just going to weigh the baby and stuff.
01:39:39.000 And I was like, concerned.
01:39:40.000 And I was like, excuse me, though?
01:39:42.000 I have a question.
01:39:42.000 She's like, yeah, yeah, what?
01:39:44.000 I was like, should she be this cute?
01:39:47.000 And I was like, that's such a Gabo thing.
01:39:49.000 No, I'm not gay and boring and corny.
01:39:51.000 You would have said that.
01:39:52.000 Here is some grade A hardcore pornography.
01:39:55.000 Excuse me.
01:39:56.000 Get those towels ready.
01:39:57.000 All right.
01:39:57.000 I guess we'll do an NSFW.
01:40:02.000 Okay, maybe I'm.
01:40:04.000 The subject is NSFW.
01:40:06.000 It came in at 229.
01:40:07.000 Ah.
01:40:09.000 Let's check it out.
01:40:10.000 I got it.
01:40:11.000 Let's watch some porn.
01:40:14.000 Oh, I just came and I haven't.
01:40:16.000 Cabin in the woods.
01:40:17.000 Someplace secluded and private, warm and cozy, way out in the middle of the wilderness.
01:40:23.000 In the crazy world we're living in today, this version of the American Dream is becoming more popular every year.
01:40:29.000 And though I can't tell you how to find your slice of paradise, I can show you what it looks like to build one.
01:40:35.000 So come along with me as we build a cabin in the woods from start to finish, from the ground up.
01:40:45.000 My name is Dave Riple, and you're watching the medical.
01:40:47.000 Isn't it bad for heat to have it raised off the ground like that?
01:40:52.000 Isn't the floor cold?
01:41:00.000 This fall, I decided to build a cabin on our remote piece of property in the northern Midwest.
01:41:05.000 In this part of the country, we get tons of snow.
01:41:08.000 So just a little cabin that you could snow machine into in the winter would be fantastic.
01:41:13.000 Something that could go up quick and take care of all the not on a larger scale.
01:41:19.000 Keep going.
01:41:20.000 Start building the rafters that go to the porch.
01:41:24.000 Setting them up one at a time.
01:41:30.000 Looks easy, doesn't it?
01:41:36.000 A good tip is to have bought your wood before this year or the year previous.
01:41:41.000 Each piece of plywood in New York is $72.
01:41:45.000 This is a $3 million home.
01:41:47.000 Thank goodness.
01:41:49.000 But I did learn my lesson.
01:41:51.000 So it's time to start putting some metal on at least part of the roof.
01:41:55.000 The roof.
01:41:56.000 I think this is more my budget.
01:42:02.000 All right, that's enough.
01:42:03.000 Thank you for the pornography, sir.
01:42:04.000 You ever see this dude?
01:42:06.000 He's a Canadian guy.
01:42:08.000 I'm going to go.
01:42:09.000 And he builds ship in the woods, like the day of.
01:42:14.000 Like, he just goes out and fucking Joseph Robinette.
01:42:22.000 You could watch these for hours.
01:42:24.000 I mean, they're amazeballs.
01:42:28.000 What do you think about a dog?
01:42:28.000 You say we're gay for men.
01:42:29.000 That's our gay porn.
01:42:30.000 What do you think about a dog in that situation?
01:42:33.000 Oh, great.
01:42:35.000 Wonderful.
01:42:35.000 That's the appropriate usage of a dog.
01:42:37.000 Yeah.
01:42:45.000 Citizen Dildo, I guess I can say his name.
01:42:49.000 Glenn, why can't I say people's names?
01:42:51.000 You're really going to get fired because you wrote a letter to a show?
01:42:55.000 Do you really want to live in that America where you're not allowed to, your boss can't find out what shows you watch?
01:43:03.000 That seems a little excessive.
01:43:04.000 Do you work for your dad and you're 13?
01:43:07.000 You better not be watching that show.
01:43:09.000 Glenn Beck has an awesome series of Blackboard shows where he connects all the Weather Underground people in detail.
01:43:16.000 They're from Fox News days back in early Obama.
01:43:20.000 Oh, now I feel stupid for telling all these people to do a deep dive on Weather Underground.
01:43:25.000 Well, if they're from back in the day, they don't have the new updates.
01:43:28.000 I was talking to some producers at Fox Nation saying, you guys really got to do this.
01:43:33.000 Do a whole documentary.
01:43:36.000 All right, so that looks like a fun project.
01:43:40.000 Hey, Gav and Pee-Pee Coke guy.
01:43:43.000 That's you, Ryan.
01:43:44.000 Oh, oh.
01:43:45.000 You're half Japanese, but to the naked eye, you could appear to be any Asian.
01:43:49.000 Peepee and the Coke.
01:43:50.000 And some Chinese.
01:43:51.000 That's back when Sarah Silverman was funny.
01:43:53.000 Yeah.
01:43:54.000 She was in trouble with the American Asian Society for some joke she had Done.
01:44:01.000 And she refused.
01:44:02.000 Not only did she refuse to apologize, which she would eagerly do today, unless it was against Christians.
01:44:09.000 But we came back from the break and she goes, Well, when we were out to commercial here, this guy went pee-pee in my Coke.
01:44:20.000 You know, like a funny joke?
01:44:23.000 You know.
01:44:24.000 You know, like a hilarious joke.
01:44:26.000 All right.
01:44:27.000 Well, needless to say, we're going to tell your joke again.
01:44:29.000 Now, if the people don't know, Sarah Silverman was on Conan O'Brien about years ago at this point.
01:44:36.000 And she told a joke, which she meant to be funny.
01:44:39.000 It offended certain members of the Asian community.
01:44:42.000 You asked for equal time.
01:44:44.000 You have it here tonight.
01:44:45.000 We have to set the stage by telling the joke again.
01:44:48.000 Let's hear the joke.
01:44:50.000 Tell it as quickly as you can.
01:44:52.000 Because I'm sick of it by now.
01:44:53.000 Likewise, it's a joke about getting a jury duty notice, and you got to fill out this form, and you send it in, and you're randomly selected, and I don't want to do jury duty.
01:45:03.000 No one does.
01:45:03.000 So I'm filling out the form, and my friend said, why don't you write something really inappropriate, like I hate chinks, you know?
01:45:09.000 And I'm thinking, yeah, but when you think about it, I don't want people to think that of me.
01:45:13.000 You know, I just want to get out of jury duty.
01:45:14.000 So I just filled out the form and I wrote, I love chinks.
01:45:19.000 That's not the joke, sir.
01:45:21.000 Thank you.
01:45:22.000 Stop.
01:45:24.000 She goes, she wrote, I hate chinks.
01:45:26.000 And then she looked at it and she goes, that's not me.
01:45:28.000 What the hell am I doing?
01:45:29.000 That's not what I'm about.
01:45:31.000 So I took a pen, I scratched it out, and I wrote, I love chinks.
01:45:37.000 Imagine that's how they introduce them.
01:45:39.000 And you have equal time to respond to that.
01:45:42.000 Well, that's the argument I had with my friend Leslie.
01:45:45.000 She goes, I go, remember, Leslie, now you're one of them?
01:45:49.000 I defended you when they called you racist.
01:45:51.000 Remember hipster racism?
01:45:52.000 And she goes, maybe we were.
01:45:54.000 Why can't you evolve?
01:45:55.000 And I'm like, what?
01:45:57.000 I go, you were making jokes.
01:46:00.000 And she goes, jokes can be racist.
01:46:02.000 Look at the 16 candles every time they showed long duck dong.
01:46:07.000 I know I'm repeating myself.
01:46:08.000 It's like a greatest hits thing.
01:46:10.000 It's the same point.
01:46:13.000 And I don't get why that's racist.
01:46:15.000 To have him go, hoy roll, and then dong.
01:46:19.000 I know I sound crazy, but just make it a Scottish guy.
01:46:23.000 Make it anyone else.
01:46:24.000 Is it racist now?
01:46:25.000 It's called a stereotype.
01:46:29.000 Hey, Gavin, PP, joke guy, just wondering why you were scaring children in Africa.
01:46:33.000 Oh, this video got out?
01:46:37.000 No, he's afraid of me.
01:46:38.000 He's not broning.
01:46:44.000 Come here.
01:46:46.000 Just touch it.
01:46:48.000 Don't cry, okay?
01:46:53.000 Look at that hairy arm.
01:46:55.000 Look at that hairy arm.
01:46:59.000 The guy that looked just like me made all the clothes and shoes you're wearing and all the bottles and boxes behind you and the wood that was the concept of cardboard.
01:47:08.000 The paint, where do you think he got paint from, buddy?
01:47:14.000 He's never seen it five.
01:47:18.000 I had a black friend that my eldest boy was petrified of when he was three.
01:47:25.000 When my friend was three, I mean.
01:47:27.000 I used to hang out with three-year-olds.
01:47:28.000 When my friend was three.
01:47:31.000 Sup, fellas, just got to say you have some really ungrateful viewers.
01:47:34.000 The number of people writing in, constantly whining about this going wrong and that wasn't right, is hair whitening.
01:47:39.000 Constantly complaining about Maddie or this episode sucks, not to mention all the pompous money I was writing about how you're wrong all the time.
01:47:45.000 Come on, show a little gratitude, you arrogant fags.
01:47:48.000 It's a miracle G-Dog has a show at all.
01:47:50.000 I guess it makes a little sense.
01:47:51.000 Most adults today are actually excited for another Spider-Man movie.
01:47:57.000 Doesn't it look like a piece of shit?
01:48:00.000 Like, I have to take my kids, my youngest kid now, to these stupid movies.
01:48:04.000 And so you have to tolerate superheroes occasionally.
01:48:07.000 It's like every superhero in the world is in one movie.
01:48:12.000 Shouldn't be surprised that they act like little kids.
01:48:14.000 Either way, to my fellow baby monsters, cut G some slack.
01:48:19.000 What a nice thing to say.
01:48:23.000 We'll end with a long one.
01:48:25.000 This one is called A Note of Thanks, and thanks is in quotation marks.
01:48:29.000 Ryan?
01:48:31.000 Okay.
01:48:31.000 It came in yesterday at 1.39 a.m.
01:48:34.000 Ahoy, Gavin and Ryan.
01:48:36.000 When I think back on my wayward teen years, I invariably think of the articles that you wrote for Vice.
01:48:41.000 And I'm sorry to get so sentimental here, but they really meant the world to me.
01:48:45.000 Vice was hailed as a pop culture phenomenon and embraced all over the world.
01:48:50.000 But in the small suburb where I lived, no one knew what Vice was.
01:48:53.000 And Vice had no media empire.
01:48:55.000 It was just a small magazine.
01:48:57.000 But what a magazine.
01:48:58.000 Wasn't easy to find in Torrance, but I eventually found an indie record shop that stocked it.
01:49:04.000 And after inhaling a few issues, I began to specifically seek out your contributions for their life wisdom.
01:49:11.000 I felt like I was getting all kinds of priceless knowledge from an elder brother that had returned from the promised land.
01:49:17.000 I sponged up the stuff that Vice recommended, such as Jim Goad's Answer Me, which really blew me away.
01:49:22.000 I cherished each one, reading them from cover to cover, over and over.
01:49:27.000 And it slowly lost its charm.
01:49:28.000 I would say it quickly lost its charm after I left.
01:49:31.000 It began to become less sincere and more of a pandering, self-consciously hip pose, all surface ennui.
01:49:37.000 Now it's embarrassingly, embarrassingly anemic and woke.
01:49:42.000 I searched for several of the articles from some of my favorite issues, and many have been deleted from the database.
01:49:47.000 Yes, that's what I discussed earlier.
01:49:49.000 So I guess that they were not content with merely ruining a good thing.
01:49:53.000 They also have to go back into the old issues and censor stuff, which of course is both dishonest and morally irresponsible.
01:49:59.000 You know, if you go to the Vice Guide to Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll, that's got the first 10 years highlights, of which I wrote about 90%.
01:50:09.000 I think Shane and Strush have one article each in there.
01:50:12.000 And I used my actual name, I believe, for most of those.
01:50:15.000 Or Christy Bradnox, who is also me.
01:50:18.000 So that's a good way.
01:50:20.000 Pull that up, Ryan.
01:50:21.000 The Vice Guide to Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll.
01:50:23.000 Yeah, that's got all the good ones in it.
01:50:27.000 I heard that you left the magazine years ago.
01:50:29.000 Yes, in 2008, and more recently, I heard that you had gone crazy.
01:50:33.000 That is true.
01:50:35.000 So, when I started to watch Get Off My Lawn clips on YouTube, I was so relieved.
01:50:39.000 And discovering censored TV has really been eye-opening, partly because I don't think I ever actually consciously realized how fucked up the media's reality management programming really was.
01:50:50.000 Partly because it was so ubiquitous.
01:50:52.000 Yeah, I guess that's the narrative, right?
01:50:54.000 I was cool and dope, and then I went insane after the media's written house narrative fell apart.
01:51:02.000 Okay, so that's one of the reasons I wanted to read this, besides the fact that it makes me feel nice.
01:51:11.000 My job is to sort of sense the temperature in the room.
01:51:15.000 And my gut is saying that the temperature in America has shifted post-Written House.
01:51:21.000 I think people are realizing that the bad guys they heard about ain't so bad.
01:51:28.000 And I think the people that are on the right that were hiding because they didn't want to end up in prison forever are realizing that there is still some justice in the world and they can speak out.
01:51:40.000 So I think we've reached a turning point here.
01:51:43.000 It's very subtle.
01:51:44.000 It's hard to detect.
01:51:45.000 It may only be 10 degrees.
01:51:47.000 But 10 degrees becomes thousands of miles when you go long enough.
01:51:53.000 They kept on insisting that the jury were the ones that had it wrong.
01:51:55.000 It was a watershed moment, not just for me.
01:51:58.000 It was shocking in the rawest way to see such a stark distortion of reality conjured, then disseminated back in real time.
01:52:06.000 Now, we broadly see that every news story seems tailored to fit a pre-existing narrative, to kindle and exacerbate fears, and provoke the impotent outrage of the viewer.
01:52:17.000 Thank God for Censored TV, which is righteous and on fire with the truth, bawls out, warts and all.
01:52:24.000 I missed your wit, nerve, and brains, and I'm so stoked that you have a new home here on Censored TV.
01:52:30.000 Discovering it was like reuniting with my long-lost brother.
01:52:35.000 Respectfully yours, Jason McAllister, 324 Pickmar Boulevard Apartment 3C, Torrance, Italy, Europe.
01:52:48.000 Torrance is in California, right?
01:52:49.000 Yes.
01:52:49.000 Yes, that's a fake name.
01:52:50.000 It does say what time he's usually home to, but we won't read that out of his for his privacy.
01:52:55.000 That's fair.
01:52:57.000 All right, let's get to the final vid.
01:53:21.000 Uh, go to 5-1.
01:53:24.000 Fucking 5-1.
01:53:25.000 I thought this was fake when I first saw it.
01:53:28.000 It's a very big fish.
01:53:33.000 So you throw the lure over there.
01:53:35.000 How do you catch these fucking things?
01:53:46.000 Can you effing believe that?
01:53:49.000 Do you think that's real, Ryan?
01:53:52.000 Let me see.
01:53:54.000 I thought it was a giant eel.
01:53:55.000 I know that there are fish as big as that, but let's see if this is...
01:54:01.000 Yeah, that's real.
01:54:03.000 Yeah, it's called a Wells catfish.
01:54:07.000 And they easily get up to 200 pounds.
01:54:09.000 You ever see monster fish?
01:54:11.000 River monsters?
01:54:12.000 Of course.
01:54:14.000 They get bigger than that.
01:54:15.000 200 pounds.
01:54:16.000 If you think before refrigeration, like say you're a tribe, that's too much meat.
01:54:23.000 You'd have to have 20 people.
01:54:25.000 It's not going to last for more than a day.
01:54:28.000 You better get eaten.
01:54:29.000 You better get some salt on that.
01:54:32.000 I don't want 200 pounds of fish.
01:54:35.000 I probably eat 200 pounds of fish every 30 years.
01:54:39.000 So it's a lifetime supply because I'm going to be dead in 30 years.
01:54:43.000 But go to 5-2.
01:54:45.000 I had to look into this to see what the fuck this is.
01:54:47.000 I don't know much about fish or fishing or hunting.
01:54:50.000 I'm a fag.
01:54:52.000 But yeah, pretty regular to get a 200-pounder.
01:54:56.000 So what do you do?
01:54:57.000 You shoot it in the head like an alligator?
01:54:58.000 Because that can't be wriggling around on your boat.
01:55:04.000 You got to stab it in the brain.
01:55:06.000 You can skip all around that.
01:55:08.000 It took him forever to get it on the boat.
01:55:12.000 Look at that thing.
01:55:15.000 Not the best audio in the world.
01:55:16.000 I can't see shit.
01:55:20.000 It's not easy to pick up 200 pounds.
01:55:22.000 That's a dude.
01:55:25.000 I'm 193 pounds.
01:55:26.000 You can get two Chris Cuomos to lift it up.
01:55:32.000 Holy shit.
01:55:36.000 That's a funny murder.
01:55:38.000 All right, guys, that's it for the Friday show.
01:55:40.000 We will see you on Monday.
01:55:42.000 Don't worry.
01:55:42.000 We'll be jam-packing censored TV with all kinds of other contributors while I gallivant around the city dressed in women's clothing.
01:55:52.000 What did we learn today?
01:55:53.000 We learned that we're living in clown world.
01:55:55.000 Things are still nuts.
01:55:56.000 They're canceling an artist for daring to think outside the box.
01:56:00.000 But they're also eventually canceling the biggest douche at CNN because he used CNN to corrupt women's lives.
01:56:10.000 And we're also seeing justice in Andrew Cuomo, where he murdered people in the name of making himself look cool and making Trump look bad.
01:56:20.000 So there's been some funny murders going on.
01:56:22.000 I think there is.
01:56:24.000 The times they are a changing.
01:56:26.000 So why don't you take a break from politics this weekend and just enjoy yourself with your family.
01:56:31.000 Go out, have a beer, don't get too wasted.
01:56:34.000 And carpe the diem.
01:56:36.000 Get off your phone, get away from the TV, try to experience life.
01:56:41.000 My new thing these days is to be a time traveler where I'm 75 years old.
01:56:47.000 I wish I had spent more time with my kids.
01:56:49.000 I wish I enjoyed the moment more.
01:56:51.000 We keep talking about TGIF and we want to enjoy Saturday.
01:56:54.000 And then we sit on our asses and watch TV and stare at our phones.
01:56:57.000 Staring at your phone is time traveling, but you're going Forward, you're just throwing hours and hours in the garbage.
01:57:04.000 You look at your phone four hours a day.
01:57:06.000 Are you out of your mind?
01:57:07.000 No one watched TV four hours a day back when we were a TV culture.
01:57:12.000 Stop.
01:57:13.000 Be bored.
01:57:15.000 Read.
01:57:15.000 Look out the window.
01:57:17.000 Pontificate.
01:57:18.000 Think.
01:57:19.000 How are we going to have ideas if we're constantly looking at someone else's brain?
01:57:25.000 And please don't tell me you look at TikTok.
01:57:27.000 That's completely unforgivable.
01:57:30.000 So it's time to pretend that you're a 75-year-old who was able to zap back in time into the age that you are, whatever you are now, and just go, holy shit.
01:57:42.000 I'm back in 2021.
01:57:43.000 Is it Christmas yet?
01:57:45.000 No, December just started.
01:57:46.000 Holy shit, there's a smattering of snow.
01:57:49.000 Wow.
01:57:51.000 God, I'm lucky to be here.
01:57:53.000 Boy, am I fortunate to be healthy and alive way back in 2021.
01:57:57.000 I wish I hadn't have taken it for granted.
01:58:00.000 I'm going to enjoy it.
01:58:01.000 I'm going to enjoy this time travel weekend in 2021.
01:58:05.000 TGI motherfucking F. Get fired.
01:58:09.000 Get in trouble.
01:58:10.000 Be brave and never stop fighting.
01:58:13.000 Thank you warmly for a dark and stormy.
01:58:16.000 I'd slip you a fiver for another screwdriver and leave a Monto tip or a midshu lip.
01:58:21.000 If you know what I mean, I know you know what I mean.