Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - December 14, 2021


S04E65 - THE END OF A ZERO


Episode Stats


Length

30 minutes

Words per minute

157.08446

Word count

4,867

Sentence count

536

Harmful content

Misogyny

20

sentences flagged

Hate speech

24

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

On this episode of Search and Destroy, we sit down with writer/comedian David Cross to talk about his early days at Vice and how he got his start in comedy. We talk about the early days of Vice, his time as a stand-up comic, and his time working with the band Meatloaf.

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:37.000 Drum and bass makes me miss Britain.
00:00:41.000 Garage.
00:00:43.000 You know, when Vice first started getting into TV, we were doing these DVDs that we were selling through Viacom.
00:00:50.000 And I went down to Britain, and me and Jamie, this kid Jamie, did a little mini dock on the garage scene, you know, with Mike Skinner and Eskimo, what's his name there, Wiley.
00:01:04.000 And not only did we interview all the seminal figures, but we also found these pirate radio stations.
00:01:10.000 I mean, the reason they called it pirate radio, it was literally pirate radio.
00:01:13.000 They had an antenna on the tops of the council of stites, and they would drive to where one of them was, and then they would all like listen to the music and in their cars, on their cars.
00:01:27.000 They would set up the cars, open the doors, and they would all have like a party rave, not a rave, but like a hangout at wherever they could pick up the signal for this pirate radio station.
00:01:40.000 And then we went to the actual stations where those guys were doing the things.
00:01:44.000 It would be like in someone's living room.
00:01:45.000 They had changed their living room into a studio and they made these great sounds.
00:01:52.000 And then we even interviewed and followed the guys who would rip down these antennas, these aerials.
00:02:00.000 Put up your aerial.
00:02:02.000 Follow them around as they dismantled the stations because it was illegal.
00:02:07.000 It was a pretty cool little dock, but I was currently not getting along with my fellow co-founders, so it was just fizzled.
00:02:17.000 Then David Cross and I went to China.
00:02:20.000 We got so much shit.
00:02:22.000 We went there to build American pies, where when you take out, they have an American flag in the middle, and when you take it out, it plays a Star-Spangled Banner.
00:02:31.000 And we were making them in China.
00:02:33.000 Very hilarious concept.
00:02:34.000 And we shot a million little mini sketches, too.
00:02:37.000 Like we went to an expat bar and we were saying, for the Super Bowl, we were there.
00:02:42.000 And we were like, no matter who wins, America wins.
00:02:45.000 And we're screaming USA and getting kicked out.
00:02:47.000 And I did little sketches myself.
00:02:49.000 Like I would buy stuff on the market when they were selling things.
00:02:52.000 And I'd go, I feel like you're giving me shitty prices because I'm an American.
00:02:56.000 And then I had a mask of a Chinaman. 0.91
00:02:59.000 Like basically a racist mask.
00:03:01.000 David wanted nothing to do with this bit.
00:03:04.000 But I had like eyes and it had a big Fu Manchu mustache.
00:03:07.000 So I wore the same thing, but I put on the mask and the guy got the joke right away.
00:03:11.000 And he gave me like crazy deals and everything was cheap.
00:03:15.000 We shot that.
00:03:16.000 We did a thing where we told a local bar we were a hot band from New York City and we got a gig and we said our equipment was confiscated at the border.
00:03:26.000 So they said, great, okay, you can use the other band's gear.
00:03:29.000 And we just played a show.
00:03:30.000 I can't play an instrument.
00:03:31.000 I played guitar.
00:03:33.000 This guy, Jake, the cameraman, played drums.
00:03:35.000 David was singing.
00:03:36.000 And we did absolute garbage, like a cacophony.
00:03:41.000 Anyway, they threw it all in the garbage.
00:03:42.000 They said, no, it sucks.
00:03:43.000 Can't use it.
00:03:46.000 See, that's what happens when you're a bright light and someone else wants to shine.
00:03:52.000 They put a dark towel, a dark wet towel on your lamp so everyone sees the other lights.
00:03:58.000 All that shit's gone.
00:03:59.000 I have a DVD of it somewhere, but last time I tried to play it, like the image was this big.
00:04:06.000 But it's really good.
00:04:08.000 Same thing happened with these poor guys, Opie and Anthony.
00:04:11.000 They had a show.
00:04:12.000 Pilot.
00:04:13.000 Our own amusement.
00:04:14.000 That's right.
00:04:14.000 We're Opie and Anthony, and this is Search and Destroy.
00:04:21.000 Kind of cool to see those guys as friends, isn't it?
00:04:23.000 Am I a fag?
00:04:24.000 No, that is cool.
00:04:25.000 You know, they would get along swimmingly when, like, Jim wasn't there, they would have to get along, and Sam would kind of lubricate the conversation, and then they would just start having fun.
00:04:35.000 Yeah, maybe Jim.
00:04:37.000 I don't think they hate each other.
00:04:39.000 The weird thing is...
00:04:39.000 No, I think Jim and Anthony are both funny, and it became too obvious that Opie's not funny.
00:04:45.000 Yeah, he didn't like it.
00:04:46.000 It was too much indecency.
00:04:47.000 Too much indecency. 0.91
00:04:48.000 I heard something that you can't ever hate somebody that has made you laugh before.
00:04:52.000 Or that.
00:04:53.000 Yeah, I'm persona non grata.
00:04:56.000 Yeah, but maybe they don't hate you.
00:04:58.000 They're just like, he's troubled with Trump disease.
00:05:01.000 I also did a whole bunch of pilots with David Cross.
00:05:03.000 One for Showtime that was called Vice TV, where we went to Atlanta, and we hung out with this woman who squishes beer cans with her tits. 1.00
00:05:13.000 Sick.
00:05:15.000 Blondie is her name?
00:05:18.000 She wouldn't let us go into her house.
00:05:20.000 I assume it's a fucking dive.
00:05:23.000 And then we did, what else did we do there?
00:05:25.000 Oh, no, that was all part of it.
00:05:26.000 Yeah.
00:05:27.000 That had the garage thing.
00:05:29.000 So there's two separate things here.
00:05:31.000 The garage thing was in the Showtime.
00:05:33.000 I can't even remember.
00:05:34.000 There's been so much.
00:05:35.000 I've made so much great content.
00:05:37.000 It's just been turned.
00:05:38.000 There's a whole fucking movie of my book.
00:05:43.000 I made this movie.
00:05:44.000 It's done.
00:05:46.000 The Death of Cool.
00:05:47.000 Finished.
00:05:48.000 Everything you hear, see in this book has been made into a movie.
00:05:52.000 Vice squashed it. 0.99
00:05:53.000 It's exciting that I've seen a little bit of it.
00:05:57.000 Well, I spoke to some eccentric billionaire who likes me said, I want to buy this.
00:06:03.000 I don't care how much it costs.
00:06:04.000 I'll buy it.
00:06:06.000 I'll give you a million bucks for it.
00:06:07.000 And they said, wow, great.
00:06:08.000 Yeah, that's a profit.
00:06:10.000 And I think it only costs $600,000.
00:06:12.000 And they said, what are you showing us?
00:06:14.000 Boop Smash.
00:06:15.000 Okay, but that's not the woman. 1.00
00:06:16.000 Look up Blondie Atlanta. 1.00
00:06:18.000 I would think that would be the smarter way to go with that.
00:06:21.000 Dig up the person I'm actually talking about, not the phenomenon.
00:06:29.000 And now you made me forget what I was talking about.
00:06:32.000 that movie, Some Eccentric Billionaire.
00:06:34.000 Oh, yeah, he wanted to buy it.
00:06:35.000 And they said, you know what?
00:06:37.000 And 20th Century Fox said this.
00:06:39.000 They said, to be honest, if you tried to buy this for $10 million, $10 billion, it's not going to happen.
00:06:48.000 Which I, another, another guy over there secretly said to me, he goes, maybe when Vice files for bankruptcy, you could have the movie.
00:06:54.000 And I went, oh, so it is Vice that's holding it back.
00:06:58.000 I even made a version that Vice isn't in.
00:07:01.000 We cut all the Vice parts out and then reshot patches to make it flow.
00:07:06.000 That can't see the light of day.
00:07:08.000 Anyway, no sense crying over spilt milk, but yeah, that just sort of pulled me back into the UK garage scene.
00:07:17.000 What you call it, garage?
00:07:18.000 Wiley wrote a song about us because he didn't like us.
00:07:22.000 He's not a fan of the G because I got kind of threatening when he kept not showing up to interviews and him and his manager.
00:07:30.000 I think it's weird too when you're from New York because the manager's like, this guy's talking a big game.
00:07:34.000 He's very aggressive.
00:07:36.000 Does he know that I'm a murderer?
00:07:38.000 Or maybe he's a bigger murderer?
00:07:39.000 Like, am I talking to Tony Soprano or Gavin?
00:07:42.000 Or Ryan?
00:07:43.000 Like, he doesn't know if he's talking to Ryan Ketzy, Rivera, or Tony Soprano.
00:07:46.000 So there was like, I don't know if you know who you're talking to, mate.
00:07:48.000 And I was like, I know I'm fucking, I'm always an asshole.
00:07:51.000 I don't care if I'm talking to the biggest fucking murderer in the world.
00:07:56.000 So they were kind of intimidated by me.
00:07:59.000 They were wrong, but they were like, the way this guy's talking to us, I'm going to assume he's in organized crime because he's a dead man if he's not.
00:08:13.000 It worked, though.
00:08:14.000 Got him.
00:08:15.000 So he did a song called, What You Call It?
00:08:19.000 And it was about us because we kept saying, what is this called?
00:08:22.000 Garage?
00:08:23.000 Two-step?
00:08:24.000 Drum and bass?
00:08:25.000 Jungle?
00:08:27.000 And then his whole thing was, I'm not part of anything.
00:08:30.000 I do Eski Beat.
00:08:33.000 So this is the part of the show where you look up what you call it, the song.
00:08:36.000 Is it?
00:08:38.000 That's it?
00:08:38.000 What you call it?
00:08:40.000 Okay, go to the beginning.
00:08:41.000 Because that's me at the beginning.
00:08:43.000 He's mocking me.
00:09:08.000 Two steps.
00:09:10.000 What you call it?
00:09:15.000 Fuck an awesome song.
00:09:17.000 And I like that they're not trying to be American.
00:09:20.000 Everyone loves that nationalism, regionalism, culture.
00:09:24.000 I was talking at the bar that with a buddy last night, and I was like, how do we get to a spot where nationalism is wrong?
00:09:31.000 I get white nationalism being bad, but that's a made-up term.
00:09:37.000 White is not a nation. 0.98
00:09:39.000 So shut up. 1.00
00:09:41.000 But as far as I love my country, that's a given globally.
00:09:46.000 Go to Peru.
00:09:48.000 Go to fucking the worst shithole on earth.
00:09:51.000 Go to Haiti. 0.96
00:09:52.000 Go to Venezuela.
00:09:53.000 Okay, Venezuela's a bad example.
00:09:54.000 I'm sure they all hate their country there. 0.96
00:09:56.000 They're not allowed to leave.
00:09:58.000 But yeah, that was a cool song by MC X-Men and DJ Logan.
00:10:04.000 A very uniquely British thing that makes me miss Britain.
00:10:09.000 Probably going to go to Scotland in February.
00:10:11.000 Maybe I'll meet up with some Proud Boys there.
00:10:13.000 Lots of news, by the way, going on with Proud Boys.
00:10:15.000 This isn't even in my notes, but I just saw that the DA in DC is going to sue Proud Boys.
00:10:23.000 Hopefully, to bankrupt them.
00:10:27.000 This is exactly as idiotic as when the SPLC said we sued the KKK.
00:10:35.000 The court case that bankrupted the KKK sounds good.
00:10:39.000 KKK is bad.
00:10:40.000 You emptied their bank accounts.
00:10:42.000 One minor problem with your $7 million lawsuit, the KKK didn't have any money.
00:10:47.000 They owned a warehouse, a $60,000 warehouse.
00:10:51.000 So yeah, you bankrupted a broke group.
00:10:54.000 But with Proud Boys, who are you going to sue?
00:10:57.000 All of them, personally?
00:11:00.000 No, we're going to go to their main income source.
00:11:03.000 It doesn't exist, shit for brains.
00:11:05.000 There is no giant pile of gold.
00:11:10.000 What a fucking idiot.
00:11:13.000 I mean, there should have been, there could have been.
00:11:17.000 But anyway, go back.
00:11:18.000 What's he saying?
00:11:19.000 If we bankrupt, we've had enough of hate.
00:11:21.000 No, no, go back.
00:11:23.000 And that's good, Ryan.
00:11:24.000 I'll give you compliments when you occasionally do things right.
00:11:26.000 But let's hear this.
00:11:28.000 Imbecile.
00:11:30.000 The only question with these dummies is, do they know that what they're saying is absolute fucking horseshit?
00:11:36.000 Surely a lawyer has said, they need a bank account for us to sue.
00:11:41.000 You need money to get money from someone.
00:11:45.000 Independent Office of Attorney General for the District of Columbia is filing the first civil lawsuit by a state or municipal government to hold accountable the Proud Boys, the Oath Keepers, and more than 30 of their leaders and members for conspiring to terrorize the District of Columbia,
00:12:07.000 for unlawfully interfering with our country's peaceful transition of power, and for assaulting our men and women in blue who valiantly defended the country, the district, and our freedoms.
00:12:22.000 Specifically, we're bringing this lawsuit pursuant to local and federal laws, including the Ku Klux Klan Act of 1871.
00:12:32.000 He doesn't know how to pronounce Ku Klux Klan.
00:12:35.000 This guy doesn't have a coup.
00:12:38.000 Ku-less. 1.00
00:12:41.000 And by the way, on January 6th, D.C. was cool-less in that there was no coup.
00:12:46.000 He should go home and play a board game.
00:12:48.000 Maybe they want to recoup the coup costs from Ku Klux Klan. 0.69
00:12:54.000 We specifically allege that these vigilantes, insurrectionists, and masters Of a lawless mob conspired against the District of Columbia, its law enforcement officers, and residents by planning, promoting,
00:13:10.000 and participating in the violent attack on the United States Capitol.
00:13:14.000 Tom Green behind them, Brooklyn.
00:13:15.000 Wouldn't you want a shred of evidence before you go running into the fucking field naked like a dunce?
00:13:33.000 That's been disproven too.
00:13:35.000 They died of natural causes.
00:13:39.000 This is a crazy thing about America.
00:13:41.000 So that's December 14th.
00:13:44.000 That's today.
00:13:46.000 That's not a year ago when all these rumors were swirling around.
00:13:49.000 This is post-debunking.
00:13:52.000 And he's like, we're taking these myths, pretending they weren't debunked, and then suing random people with made-up bank accounts where we're going to...
00:14:02.000 At the end, he goes, wait, wait, turn it up.
00:14:04.000 You got to hear the ending.
00:14:16.000 It's employees and our residents.
00:14:20.000 Okay, so it's not in that.
00:14:21.000 I saw another clip where he goes, and if we bankrupt them, that would be ideal.
00:14:27.000 What?
00:14:27.000 Proud boys are bankrupt, guys.
00:14:30.000 Sorry.
00:14:31.000 No more.
00:14:33.000 Call Chase's Proud Boys account.
00:14:36.000 It's empty.
00:14:38.000 Did he get his tie and his pocket square and lapel pin from like the soulir shop of a Washington, D.C. tour?
00:14:46.000 Yeah, his knot really bothers me, too.
00:14:49.000 The chode knot that Stelter has.
00:14:51.000 Yeah.
00:14:52.000 I hate how it's the same width as the whole tie.
00:14:55.000 That's the worst.
00:14:55.000 That's not the point, dude.
00:14:59.000 Here's a little note.
00:15:00.000 Stop bitching about the fucking app, you morons.
00:15:03.000 Let me explain something to you.
00:15:05.000 We are persona non grata.
00:15:06.000 We're pariahs.
00:15:08.000 We're at death's door.
00:15:09.000 We have had our bank account killed.
00:15:11.000 We had, remember we started this with MailChimp?
00:15:14.000 Remember we lost our URL?
00:15:15.000 Remember we lost our payment processor?
00:15:17.000 And they said we're not going to get any of our clients back.
00:15:20.000 They're not going to give us the credit card information.
00:15:23.000 We had to threaten to sue them.
00:15:24.000 That's the world of censored.tv.
00:15:26.000 That's why it's called censored.tv.
00:15:29.000 So randomly just like, you should update the app.
00:15:32.000 Yes.
00:15:33.000 The app is hiding.
00:15:37.000 Every time we try to update it, Apple goes, wait, what's going on over here?
00:15:41.000 Like a Jew in World War II forgetting to blow out a candle as the Nazis walk by. 0.59
00:15:48.000 You guys sit on your fucking fat asses and go, this sucks.
00:15:52.000 When we're out here in the front lines trying to make sure we don't get canceled.
00:15:58.000 Yeah, all the group texts are very like, hey, we got to work on this, we got to work on that.
00:16:01.000 We're all talking about the updates and the apps and the customer service, and it's always being thought of and worked on.
00:16:06.000 Under siege.
00:16:07.000 It's just hard.
00:16:08.000 We can't let people know where our studio is.
00:16:12.000 We've been canceled several times.
00:16:14.000 Any of the 15 things we've gone through with the cancellation would have killed every other company.
00:16:20.000 But because I'm a drunk Scott, I keep fighting.
00:16:23.000 So like, why isn't this like this?
00:16:25.000 Yeah, because this company isn't like this.
00:16:28.000 This is not fucking dude perfect.
00:16:31.000 We can't just keep updating stuff, making merch, hanging out.
00:16:36.000 It's not that simple.
00:16:37.000 When Barstool Sports showed a drone of their location, like where they're located, I'm like, why would they do that?
00:16:43.000 Yeah, we can't do that.
00:16:44.000 Why would they show?
00:16:45.000 We can't have a drone do that.
00:16:47.000 No.
00:16:49.000 It was like, so people know where you are?
00:16:52.000 Dude, I can't have my children's faces in my Christmas card.
00:16:55.000 Do you understand what we're going through here?
00:16:57.000 I'm not looking for sympathy, and I'm not saying I'm a victim.
00:16:59.000 I'm saying I'm a target.
00:17:01.000 And you'll notice with targets, things are a little more complex.
00:17:06.000 We discussed why showing my baby would be okay, because she won't look like that.
00:17:11.000 Yeah.
00:17:12.000 We only show children with a temporary face.
00:17:16.000 All right.
00:17:18.000 But we're working on all the stuff.
00:17:19.000 Here's another thing that people have been writing in, and I appreciate this one, actually.
00:17:23.000 It was Ira Glass we were thinking of yesterday.
00:17:28.000 Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, okay.
00:17:30.000 Not Mo Roka.
00:17:32.000 Not Mo Roka.
00:17:33.000 Wait a minute.
00:17:34.000 I think I know Mo Roka.
00:17:36.000 Or I did something with him.
00:17:38.000 Something Gary?
00:17:40.000 No, like something with Vice.
00:17:41.000 Why is Vice on my mind?
00:17:42.000 Probably because of that drum and bass thing.
00:17:44.000 But check out his horrible voice.
00:17:47.000 This guy chose, I think he was a successful finance guy or something.
00:17:52.000 He's like, sorry, I need to get back to broadcasting.
00:17:56.000 He tells people who are beginners, and I really wish somebody had told this to me, is that all of us who do creative work, like, you know, we get into it, and we get into it because we have good taste.
00:18:06.000 But it's like there's a gap that for the first couple years that you're making stuff, what you're making isn't engaged.
00:18:13.000 It's not quite that great.
00:18:14.000 It's trying to be good.
00:18:15.000 It has ambition to be good, but it's not quite that good.
00:18:17.000 But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, your taste is still killing you.
00:18:21.000 I've got to say, just pause this.
00:18:23.000 I'm making fun of his voice and everything, which is fairly shallow.
00:18:26.000 This is actually a very profound piece of advice.
00:18:30.000 And it's incredibly intelligent and helpful.
00:18:34.000 Unfortunately.
00:18:36.000 What you're making is kind of a disappointment to you.
00:18:38.000 You know what I mean?
00:18:40.000 A lot of people never get past that phase.
00:18:41.000 A lot of people at that point they quit.
00:18:43.000 A lot of people at that point they quit.
00:18:45.000 It sounds like someone's making fun of him.
00:18:47.000 Most everybody I know.
00:18:49.000 Most everybody I know who does interesting critic work.
00:18:53.000 Oh, look at me.
00:18:55.000 They went through a phase of years where they had really good work, but it wasn't as good as they wanted it to be.
00:19:00.000 And they knew it felt sure.
00:19:01.000 Didn't have the special thing that we wanted it to have.
00:19:04.000 The thing I would say to you is everybody goes through that.
00:19:06.000 And for you to go through it, if you're going through right now, if you're just getting out of that phase, you've got to know it's totally normal.
00:19:11.000 And the most important possible thing you could do a lot.
00:19:15.000 Jews.
00:19:16.000 Smoke a cigar.
00:19:18.000 Have a shot of whiskey.
00:19:19.000 Scream into a pillow. 0.84
00:19:20.000 If you need me to fuck you in the ass so you can scream into the pillow, I'm happy to do it. 0.98
00:19:26.000 I'm going to use a strap-on so it's not gay. 1.00
00:19:28.000 And the work you're making will be as good as your money.
00:19:31.000 Fuck you with my plastic dick. 1.00
00:19:32.000 You know who's kind of just as bad?
00:19:34.000 Have you heard the guys on cracked?
00:19:36.000 I don't think they...
00:19:36.000 they're fans of the old G. What?
00:19:40.000 Yeah, believe it or not.
00:19:42.000 Where are they?
00:19:43.000 Let's see.
00:19:44.000 The thing is, the guy left.
00:19:46.000 So if you go back, maybe about three years, his voice.
00:19:49.000 It's just.
00:19:50.000 Joe comes from Squarespace because it is 2018 or 19 or 20 or beyond.
00:19:56.000 I don't know when you're listening, but you ought to have a website to shoot.
00:19:59.000 All these beta males hate Proud Boys because they make them feel bad.
00:20:03.000 That is so much of the Culture Wars is low T, maddet, high T. And determined to spill the tea. 0.84
00:20:13.000 Also, before we start the show, let's watch a little bit of Gay Porn. 0.98
00:20:19.000 This is a Chinaman making a boat, and it gave me a boner. 1.00
00:20:25.000 And so if I get horny, I want you to get horny for men, too. 0.67
00:20:30.000 Ladies, this is why you love us, isn't it? 1.00
00:20:34.000 Like, he made this whole plan, too.
00:20:36.000 Some man designed this.
00:20:39.000 Or maybe this is his own design.
00:20:41.000 I got my three little platforms.
00:20:43.000 Yeah, this looks like his own design.
00:20:47.000 He's got a little raft there.
00:20:49.000 Sets that up in the front.
00:20:52.000 Yeah, this is his own design.
00:20:54.000 Pulls up the tent there.
00:20:56.000 I don't know what's attaching those three things, but it's awesome.
00:21:00.000 Lays it all out there.
00:21:03.000 He's got his fucking bed.
00:21:06.000 Mosquito-proofed.
00:21:09.000 What's this now?
00:21:10.000 Oh, two layers of mattress?
00:21:12.000 Yee, little princess in the pee over here. 1.00
00:21:16.000 Little setup.
00:21:19.000 Like, this is what men want.
00:21:20.000 People ask us what we want for Christmas and stuff, and it's like, I couldn't explain it to you.
00:21:25.000 Just nothing is easiest.
00:21:27.000 So where's he going?
00:21:28.000 To an orgy?
00:21:30.000 To go ogle young girls? 0.99
00:21:33.000 To hurt people?
00:21:34.000 No, he just wants to be left alone.
00:21:37.000 He just wants to see.
00:21:38.000 He's not even fucking fishing.
00:21:41.000 Oh, yes, he is.
00:21:42.000 He's fishing.
00:21:44.000 He's trolling.
00:21:45.000 What a troll.
00:21:46.000 The only thing that sucks about that is after all that stuff, you're still Chinese. 1.00
00:21:52.000 I know you're not going to agree with that.
00:21:54.000 But as a Japanese.
00:21:54.000 I'm not a racist, so I don't enjoy jokes like that.
00:21:58.000 Asian people have grudges against other Asians. 1.00
00:22:01.000 Yeah, sure.
00:22:01.000 Whatever.
00:22:03.000 Here's a couple trying not to laugh in the 1800s.
00:22:06.000 People tend to forget that the original cameras, I believe, it was almost like a sun spot thing, where I think you had to sit for like five minutes.
00:22:16.000 So if you've got a good relationship with your wife, you're going to be cracking up, I'm afraid.
00:22:21.000 And that's what they're doing here.
00:22:24.000 Look at her.
00:22:24.000 You can tell her face is like, and then they crack up.
00:22:32.000 We can't use that one.
00:22:34.000 Okay, let's try this.
00:22:35.000 I think I've got it.
00:22:36.000 I think I've got it.
00:22:37.000 I'm not going to laugh, not going to laugh.
00:22:39.000 Okay, I'm laughing.
00:22:42.000 I think they're in Scotland too.
00:22:45.000 Also in old-timey news, I guess that's a theme today, is this is what they thought hipsters would look like.
00:22:52.000 They were right about the tattoo, assuming those are tattoos, and the nudity, but I think they underestimated the laziness.
00:23:00.000 Like all Zoomers today wear a sweatshirt and sweatpants and white vans. 1.00
00:23:07.000 And their bangs are all puffy and in their eyes.
00:23:09.000 That's the new look.
00:23:10.000 So just basically house arrest sleepover shit.
00:23:14.000 That with an elaborate hat?
00:23:18.000 Not so common.
00:23:22.000 Other silly news item 1.4.
00:23:24.000 Is America fat because of fries?
00:23:25.000 This is an interesting graph, but is McDonald's the only food available to you?
00:23:33.000 What?
00:23:35.000 Percentage of obese adults by body mass index, 30 plus in 1990.
00:23:42.000 Percentage of obese adults, 2018, so 30 years later.
00:23:48.000 And they go, what happened in 1990?
00:23:50.000 It swapped beef tallow for vegetable oil when frying French fries.
00:23:56.000 I'm open to that concept, but is McDonald's the only food in America?
00:24:02.000 I don't understand.
00:24:03.000 I don't think so.
00:24:06.000 No, it's fucking welfare.
00:24:07.000 And I bet if you did research on sugary drinks, I think that's what really...
00:24:12.000 I think what happens is people eat shit food.
00:24:15.000 Their body is trying to fight it.
00:24:17.000 So it sends acid back up the esophagus, which means stop.
00:24:21.000 They go, ooh, I have acid in my esophagus.
00:24:23.000 So they drink a sugary drink to keep the gross acid down.
00:24:29.000 Now they've had like a fucking super gulp.
00:24:31.000 That's why super gulps are so big, because you need to drink that shit for like five hours to keep the acid reflux down.
00:24:39.000 There we go.
00:24:39.000 So Gavin's right again.
00:24:43.000 And then finally, Sex in the City.
00:24:48.000 This is a weird little clip.
00:24:49.000 I don't watch Sex in the City.
00:24:50.000 I have a penis.
00:24:51.000 But I saw this clip and I thought, is this liberals saying that they fuck up too?
00:25:06.000 Hey, that's where the professor sits.
00:25:09.000 Oh, sorry.
00:25:13.000 Thanks.
00:25:14.000 Thanks.
00:25:15.000 Thank you.
00:25:22.000 Hey.
00:25:23.000 Uh-oh.
00:25:23.000 That's where the professor sits.
00:25:25.000 Uh, no niggers alone. 1.00
00:25:26.000 Sorry, he just told me.
00:25:27.000 Someone's quick with the pronouns.
00:25:29.000 It's fine.
00:25:30.000 I am the professor.
00:25:33.000 But you're black. 0.99
00:25:34.000 You're the professor?
00:25:35.000 Well, you're dressed like shit.
00:25:37.000 Why do you say that?
00:25:38.000 What is going on with the picture?
00:25:39.000 Well, you're braids. 0.85
00:25:41.000 A law professor can't have hair like mine.
00:25:43.000 Why is that?
00:25:44.000 Oh, no, no, no.
00:25:45.000 I didn't, I didn't mean because of the braids.
00:25:47.000 I was, I was, I was just thrown because the braids are so different than the hair in your photo on the Columbia website.
00:25:55.000 My comment had nothing whatsoever to do with the genealogy.
00:25:58.000 This is interesting.
00:25:59.000 Isn't this really what all of this woke shit is about?
00:26:06.000 I've always said this.
00:26:06.000 I've always said political correctness is the upper classes telling the lower classes how to speak.
00:26:11.000 Oh, you don't say Negro anymore, it's black.
00:26:13.000 Oh, you don't say black anymore, it's African American.
00:26:15.000 Oh, you don't say African-American anymore, it's people of color. 0.99
00:26:16.000 I'm always one step ahead of you because I'm smarter and more educated.
00:26:19.000 And the look of disdain they have for this is for her for getting it wrong, kind of summarizes whether they did this knowingly or not.
00:26:28.000 It kind of summarizes what the woke shit really is about.
00:26:35.000 It's about fucking with people.
00:26:38.000 You know what's pissing me off, Ryan?
00:26:40.000 I can't remember if we cover this or not on the show that you fucking lost on Friday.
00:26:46.000 No.
00:26:48.000 No, this is brand new to me.
00:26:51.000 I don't think it's brand new to you.
00:26:52.000 And we were talking before the show about the streaming with the phones where you can make things.
00:27:00.000 I pull out my phone, I connect to the TriCaster, and I was thought, as you were explaining this, I just thought, this isn't going to work.
00:27:10.000 It's going to fuck up, just like everything you do.
00:27:12.000 No, it'll work.
00:27:13.000 You have to open up the new tech app.
00:27:17.000 And then...
00:27:17.000 Yeah, this is your thing, though.
00:27:19.000 You're never wrong.
00:27:20.000 And you're always like, no, that's going to be...
00:27:22.000 Like I said the other day, I go, why can we hear the fucking thanks for calling on a loop that should be in your headphones?
00:27:33.000 Right.
00:27:34.000 And you go, no, there'd be an echo.
00:27:36.000 Like, instead of going, I don't know, I should look into that.
00:27:40.000 You're like, no, that won't work.
00:27:41.000 Like the CGI faces.
00:27:43.000 I kept saying, make CGI faces and do imitations.
00:27:46.000 Like, no, you can't.
00:27:47.000 That's only on TikTok.
00:27:50.000 Well, at the time, it looked like.
00:27:52.000 Well, no, that was different.
00:27:54.000 That was then.
00:27:54.000 This is now.
00:27:56.000 Because I'm using a...
00:27:58.000 Even this isn't supposed to be happening.
00:28:00.000 This is a studio.
00:28:01.000 Wait, this isn't supposed to be happening.
00:28:03.000 Can you hear yourself?
00:28:04.000 This isn't the way people usually do this.
00:28:06.000 I had to find a workaround that I didn't know existed at the time.
00:28:09.000 Yeah, that's my point.
00:28:11.000 Didn't know existed.
00:28:12.000 I said, like, figure it out, find it.
00:28:15.000 You're like, no, it doesn't exist.
00:28:16.000 And now you're like, I didn't know it existed.
00:28:19.000 Yeah.
00:28:19.000 That's true.
00:28:20.000 Go find that thing. 0.95
00:28:22.000 And then you found it.
00:28:23.000 You're like, well, I didn't know it existed.
00:28:24.000 That's what I'm fucking screaming.
00:28:26.000 Like, you have to understand subservience.
00:28:29.000 You're below me.
00:28:31.000 And you have to go, okay, I'm wrong.
00:28:33.000 I suck.
00:28:34.000 I'll figure it out.
00:28:35.000 As opposed to like pretending we're on the same plane and going, no, Gav, I'm as smart as you.
00:28:41.000 You're not.
00:28:42.000 Like, you being an apprentice is the nicest thing I could ever say.
00:28:46.000 When it comes to this stuff, it's like I'm your car repairman, and you need help.
00:28:52.000 Like, you don't know anything about this soundboard or anything about this face technology.
00:28:56.000 Yeah, you're a car repairman.
00:28:58.000 By the way, the term is mechanic.
00:28:59.000 You know the people.
00:29:00.000 The term is mechanic.
00:29:01.000 Car repairman is not a thing.
00:29:03.000 Here, watch this.
00:29:04.000 I'm going to record this with your new tech thing, and I guarantee you it will not work.
00:29:11.000 It's working.
00:29:12.000 It's buffering.
00:29:13.000 I hadn't even started yet, you fucking lying piece of shit. 0.97
00:29:17.000 No, on my end.
00:29:18.000 Okay, I've received it.
00:29:22.000 It's working.
00:29:24.000 I don't think it is.
00:29:25.000 It's buffering.
00:29:26.000 It's acting weird.
00:29:28.000 It's a little...
00:29:29.000 It keeps saying cannot connect.
00:29:31.000 It's the best we can do.
00:29:33.000 Would you stop with the constant excuses?
00:29:35.000 Look at this.
00:29:36.000 Look at this bitch. 1.00
00:29:38.000 He punched a hole in the wall earlier today because he couldn't take culpability for what he does wrong.
00:29:46.000 Because you're a suck. 1.00
00:29:48.000 And you can't admit when you're wrong.
00:29:50.000 And I did something on characteristic and I hit the wall.
00:29:53.000 Yes.
00:29:54.000 Yeah, because you're a bitch. 1.00
00:29:56.000 And you fuck up.
00:29:57.000 And this is the thing.
00:29:58.000 When you constantly...
00:30:00.000 What are you doing?
00:30:01.000 I'm done.
00:30:02.000 So you can just fuck this yourself.
00:30:05.000 What do you mean you're done?
00:30:09.000 I don't have it in me to deal with this.
00:30:11.000 Yeah, that's kind of what I'm saying.
00:30:15.000 Excuse me.
00:30:16.000 I'm going to go.
00:30:18.000 So you can...
00:30:19.000 That works.
00:30:20.000 You're going home for the day.
00:30:22.000 I'm not coming back.
00:30:25.000 You're not coming back.
00:30:27.000 Someone criticized Ryan Rivera.
00:30:30.000 Someone made him feel bad.
00:30:32.000 So he's going home.
00:30:33.000 A guy with a fucking newborn.
00:30:35.000 So you're- wait a minute.
00:30:36.000 Just let's be clear here.
00:30:37.000 You are quitting your job.
00:30:39.000 Well, that's not your business.
00:30:40.000 I'll figure that out.
00:30:42.000 Okay.
00:30:42.000 You are quitting your job.
00:30:43.000 Ryan, come here.
00:30:45.000 Ryan.
00:30:50.000 Hey, pussy, come here. 1.00
00:30:51.000 Come here.
00:30:52.000 Ryan.
00:30:52.000 Ryan.
00:30:56.000 I do have to grab my stuff.
00:30:58.000 Oh, are you changing your mind?