Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S04E75

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness.

00:01:03.000 Welcome.

00:01:05.000 Welcome to the TGIF episode of GOML that was Pornofapyros starring Perry Pharrell, who, like me, has an Asian wife.

00:01:16.000 My Asian wife is right over here, my work wife.

00:01:18.000 Hello.

00:01:18.000 You have an Asian wife at home, too, though she's not Asian.

00:01:21.000 And I just read today, my wife's half Native American and half Slav.

00:01:25.000 Apparently, Slavs are officially people of color.

00:01:29.000 Starting today.

00:01:30.000 Did you know that?

00:01:31.000 No.

00:01:32.000 So my wife is 100% non-white.

00:01:36.000 And so are you.

00:01:37.000 Huh.

00:01:38.000 I guess, right?

00:01:39.000 Puerto Ricans are not real people, meaning whites.

00:01:44.000 My brother-in-law is half, obviously.

00:01:46.000 And when he was a kid, people go, what are you?

00:01:49.000 Are you Chinese?

00:01:50.000 And he goes, no, I'm a half-American Indian and half plain.

00:01:56.000 We're plain.

00:01:58.000 The reason I played that is because every time I see the way liberals talk to Negroes, I hear the song, they make great pets.

00:02:08.000 They make great pets.

00:02:11.000 And it's actually we make great pets.

00:02:13.000 So let's try to ignore that for today's green screen where we're going to go through some highlights from my favorite, third favorite, Reddit shitlib safari.

00:02:25.000 But what was I talking about?

00:02:29.000 They make great pets.

00:02:30.000 Oh, yeah.

00:02:31.000 I was noticing that balloon when we walked in from the New Year's Eve party.

00:02:35.000 You can see it on the wide.

00:02:37.000 I think I have to get rid of it because I got about 9,000 motion detector notices from our security cams.

00:02:44.000 It's got to go.

00:02:46.000 Every time the heating comes on, it moves around.

00:02:49.000 But you know what else I noticed for my security cameras?

00:02:51.000 Cool.

00:02:52.000 You were late today.

00:02:54.000 Yes.

00:02:55.000 What happened?

00:02:56.000 This is true.

00:02:58.000 Well, I mean, you ever, as a guy, you're ready, but your wife and your kid, she had to take the car today and bring the baby to go to her old job for things.

00:03:10.000 Really?

00:03:10.000 I hear you as a person, but not through the sound system.

00:03:15.000 Check, check, one, two.

00:03:16.000 There we go.

00:03:16.000 Okay.

00:03:18.000 Yeah, she had to use the car today, so it's, you know, leaving at a normal time.

00:03:23.000 I was outside of the car.

00:03:24.000 I was like, you're going to be ready when I'm outside?

00:03:27.000 She said, yeah.

00:03:28.000 I'm there 45 after something around there.

00:03:33.000 But the reason I gave that time is it's the outside.

00:03:37.000 Like, you don't have to get here at 10.59 every day.

00:03:40.000 I come in on Wednesdays at 9 a.m.

00:03:46.000 Like, why do you always have to do the exact bare minimum?

00:03:50.000 Well, I mean, I got a family at home now.

00:03:56.000 Family?

00:03:57.000 I'm Nicholas.

00:03:57.000 You're up all night.

00:03:58.000 That's not true.

00:03:59.000 You go to bed like 4 a.m.

00:04:00.000 That's not true.

00:04:01.000 Oh, what time do you go to bed at?

00:04:02.000 Two-ish.

00:04:04.000 So everyone's asleep.

00:04:05.000 You're up to the wee hours.

00:04:07.000 Then you come in here, and then you go to the gym.

00:04:11.000 Wait, I go to the gym?

00:04:13.000 Yeah.

00:04:13.000 What does that have to do with here?

00:04:15.000 Well, you're like, I need to be with my family, but you're mostly at the gym here and sitting around noodling a guitar when you're asleep.

00:04:24.000 I've cut it down to an hour at the gym.

00:04:26.000 An hour?

00:04:28.000 That could be if it was an hour at a local bar, I'm sure you could relate and you'd say, that's...

00:04:32.000 Why not three hours?

00:04:33.000 I'm actually at the local bar when my children are at school.

00:04:36.000 And my wife doesn't want me around.

00:04:38.000 My baby doesn't go to school yet.

00:04:39.000 You know what she...

00:04:40.000 Yes, she does.

00:04:41.000 That's a fucking lie.

00:04:42.000 She goes to baby school.

00:04:43.000 Fuck.

00:04:44.000 Well, if she didn't.

00:04:45.000 You know what my wife did?

00:04:46.000 She bought disposable coffee cups.

00:04:49.000 That's a good...

00:04:50.000 That's a good...

00:04:51.000 No, it's not.

00:04:51.000 Do you know what that means?

00:04:52.000 What?

00:04:53.000 It means get your coffee and get the fuck out of here.

00:04:55.000 Oh.

00:04:56.000 Sick of seeing you loiter around reading the paper.

00:05:00.000 Go.

00:05:01.000 You can drink it in the car.

00:05:02.000 Let's go.

00:05:03.000 Damn.

00:05:05.000 I've been thinking a lot about that letter we had last night where the guy said, my wife hates her life and she can't believe that she had a baby and she's so fucking bored all the time.

00:05:15.000 One thing I was thinking of too, because I don't think we gave him very good advice, or enough advice, was just help her nest.

00:05:25.000 Maybe the home isn't hers enough, so she doesn't feel inclined to do it up.

00:05:30.000 My wife, and I like her taste, so I like the house she's made for us, but like it's her pictures on the wall.

00:05:37.000 Now, I don't need a man cave per se because I agree with her.

00:05:41.000 So, you know, there's sex pistols, sex pistols flag above the bed and stuff.

00:05:45.000 We're on the same page.

00:05:46.000 Right.

00:05:47.000 But maybe it's too dude zone.

00:05:50.000 Maybe if she felt in control, like that daunting article that haunts me like Banco's Ghost, the article that Barry Weiss promoted where the woman said, I got a divorce because I wanted to feel the wind in my face, the sun on my face.

00:06:06.000 I think I made the right decision.

00:06:07.000 And it all started because she couldn't afford a new kitchen.

00:06:11.000 Get the bitch a kitchen.

00:06:15.000 Storage wars?

00:06:17.000 No, Ryan.

00:06:18.000 That's a different Barry Weiss.

00:06:19.000 Yeah, it is.

00:06:20.000 We shouldn't have that Barry Weiss on our radar.

00:06:23.000 When I say Barry Weiss, you should know who that is, and you should think B-A-R-I.

00:06:28.000 And when I talk about going to the gym, you should spell it G-Y-M.

00:06:33.000 Mad about Barry Weiss.

00:06:34.000 Yeah, so that's the woman.

00:06:35.000 Did you just Google her?

00:06:37.000 And divorce.

00:06:38.000 Okay, well, it's an article that she promoted about divorce.

00:06:41.000 She didn't write it.

00:06:42.000 Jesus fucking Christ.

00:06:44.000 Come on.

00:06:44.000 Be aware of the zeitgeists and stuff we discussed on the show and do your job.

00:06:49.000 Barry Weiss promotes divorce article, and the woman's name was Honor, which is easy to remember because it's fucking weird.

00:06:58.000 And she has no honor.

00:07:03.000 Anyway, that article just haunts the pee out of me because she threw away her family for nothing.

00:07:12.000 And I don't want it to happen to me.

00:07:14.000 I don't want it to happen to you.

00:07:16.000 So give them what they want.

00:07:18.000 Give them some compliments.

00:07:19.000 Here's another marriage tip.

00:07:20.000 Don't talk too much.

00:07:22.000 Don't tell them too much.

00:07:24.000 I've had crazy nightmares the beginning of this week because I kind of quit booze or I quit boozing to the level I was.

00:07:29.000 And that makes sleeping hard for the first few days.

00:07:32.000 So I'd have crazy nightmares.

00:07:35.000 Don't tell her about it.

00:07:36.000 I looked up that song, tell her about it.

00:07:39.000 Tell her all your crazy dreams.

00:07:43.000 He wrote that in 1982.

00:07:46.000 He was divorced in 82.

00:07:48.000 So it's good advice if you're looking to lose your wife, but she doesn't need to hear all your crazy fucking dreams.

00:07:54.000 Don't tell her about it.

00:07:56.000 Shut up.

00:07:57.000 Okay?

00:08:00.000 How are you doing on that article, Ryan?

00:08:03.000 You know, I was hearing a hissing sound, and I have to get rid of that before we do anything.

00:08:10.000 So the soundboard had a little bit of an issue, and I had to restart it.

00:08:14.000 And now the voice processing is a little different.

00:08:18.000 Okay.

00:08:19.000 Is this episode going to be garbage?

00:08:22.000 No.

00:08:22.000 It's just I had kind of tapered the bass down a little bit and like put a dip in the mids of the computer so that way if you're talking over the video, I duck down the volume, but you'll still cut through because the human voice has a certain frequency.

00:08:38.000 So I'm just like reaching out to you.

00:08:39.000 Okay, well, I actually have one second to spare, so I managed to look it up.

00:08:44.000 It's in the Atlantic.

00:08:45.000 It's called How I Demolished My Life, a Home Improvement Story by Honor Jones.

00:08:50.000 You can look it up yourself, but it's all about...

00:08:53.000 For a while, I had a thought.

00:08:54.000 I was quite certain that I loved our home.

00:08:56.000 I had a mushroom in my wife, blah, blah, blah.

00:08:58.000 God, the upkeep.

00:09:00.000 So hard.

00:09:01.000 I would vacuum whenever.

00:09:04.000 I didn't have a secret life, but I, what if, what is it with divorce, women, and real estate?

00:09:10.000 And she talks about the countertops.

00:09:15.000 I had wanted, I thought, soapstone counters and a farmhouse sink.

00:09:21.000 That's how it starts.

00:09:22.000 So give the bitch her countertops is what I'm screaming.

00:09:27.000 Anyway, sorry.

00:09:29.000 We have a pretty racially heavy episode today.

00:09:32.000 It's going to make AIU look like the chick who does the 1619 project.

00:09:39.000 But before we get to that, let's have a little bit of fun.

00:09:43.000 This shit about Rogan and the fucking doctors who signed a petition.

00:09:50.000 We don't have a COVID section today, so we can just jump into that.

00:09:53.000 This shirt's kind of prinkly.

00:09:59.000 This is a trick the left does.

00:10:02.000 A menace to public health.

00:10:03.000 Doctors demand Spotify.

00:10:05.000 Well, they're not doctors, actually, E.J. Dixon.

00:10:08.000 I've seen this E.J. Dixon around.

00:10:10.000 There's been Proud Boys and other garbage articles he's written.

00:10:13.000 I mean, Rolling Stone's garbage.

00:10:15.000 What is E. Can you look up E.J. Dixon?

00:10:17.000 Always Google the author, folks.

00:10:19.000 I'll do it because you'll take it.

00:10:20.000 Didn't they reach out to you for an interview?

00:10:23.000 Really?

00:10:24.000 Yeah, that sounds familiar.

00:10:28.000 Yeah, I remember her.

00:10:29.000 It's a little Jewish child who's like your babysitter's friend.

00:10:35.000 And when I say your babysitter, I mean the woman who babysits your kids.

00:10:40.000 You still, like, I just, Brian, I just looked at her and how are you so motherfucking slow?

00:10:48.000 Change your search engine if that's not working for you.

00:10:50.000 I'm staring at E.J. Dixon right now and have been for a minute.

00:10:56.000 Google?

00:10:57.000 If Brave isn't working, then Brave's not working.

00:10:59.000 Give it up.

00:11:00.000 Do your fucking job.

00:11:01.000 Figure it out.

00:11:02.000 Jesus Christ.

00:11:04.000 It puts me in a bad mood and then I can't do my job.

00:11:10.000 I was talking to a doctor, though, about this.

00:11:12.000 So it's like 270 doctors have begged Spotify to stop.

00:11:18.000 There we go.

00:11:19.000 Have begged Spotify to stop doing this shit and get Joe Rogan off the air or at least ban his thing.

00:11:27.000 Or as Joe Biden said, he goes, social media, you need to stop the misinformation on your shows.

00:11:35.000 Shows?

00:11:36.000 Joe, social media doesn't have shows.

00:11:38.000 Do you mean Joe Rogan on Spotify?

00:11:40.000 Spotify's not social media.

00:11:44.000 Anyway, so it's all of these different 270 doctors, right?

00:11:52.000 When you look at who signed this thing, you'll find many, many are the following.

00:11:56.000 Medical residents, nurse practitioners, psychiatrists, which is fake, a psychologist, a dentist, a registered nurse, a master's student, an anesthesiologist, a nurse, 270.

00:12:11.000 This is exactly like, follow the science.

00:12:14.000 Scientists agree that we have a global warming problem, climate change.

00:12:18.000 Don't you believe in science?

00:12:20.000 And you're like, this is what happened with the climate, global warming shit.

00:12:24.000 They put out a survey.

00:12:25.000 They asked like a thousand scientists if they think that climate change is an issue.

00:12:31.000 About 15% said, well, yeah, it could be very serious.

00:12:35.000 Then they redid the survey with just those 15%.

00:12:39.000 And that's how they ended up with 98% of scientists agree.

00:12:42.000 We're all going to fucking die.

00:12:45.000 The planet.

00:12:46.000 Harrison Ford was just on screaming about the science.

00:12:50.000 Listen to the science.

00:12:51.000 And it's so, see if you can find that, Randy.

00:12:53.000 It was in previous notes.

00:12:56.000 He's talking about the science and this planet.

00:12:58.000 We won't have anything for our Children.

00:13:01.000 And what should we do then, Harrison?

00:13:03.000 Spend money.

00:13:04.000 We need windmills.

00:13:05.000 We need to spend, spend, spend.

00:13:07.000 We have to build back better.

00:13:08.000 We have to spend $7 trillion.

00:13:11.000 We have to spend the equivalent of, I think it's $150,000 per household or some shit like that.

00:13:16.000 And you go, well, wait a minute.

00:13:17.000 That's just going to double the debt and permanently cripple our grandchildren economically.

00:13:24.000 So bankrupt our children with beyond the shadow of a doubt.

00:13:28.000 There's no doubting that.

00:13:30.000 Because there might be some sort of climate change happening.

00:13:36.000 You clearly don't give a fuck about the children.

00:13:38.000 You're just doing what's hip now, you old coot.

00:13:42.000 Look at him.

00:13:42.000 He looks like a fucking hillbilly.

00:13:44.000 Stop giving power to people who don't believe in science, or worse than that, pretend they don't believe in science for their own self-interest.

00:13:55.000 He's an actor.

00:13:58.000 They know who they are.

00:14:00.000 We know who they are.

00:14:02.000 Does it mean we are all rich or poor, powerful or powerless?

00:14:12.000 We will all suffer the effects of climate change and ecosystem destruction.

00:14:17.000 And we are facing what is quickly becoming the greatest moral crisis of our time.

00:14:25.000 That those least responsible will bear the greatest costs.

00:14:31.000 Okay, so America will bear the greatest cost?

00:14:33.000 Because China is the most responsible.

00:14:35.000 I don't know why you're making it a generational thing.

00:14:37.000 It's happening now.

00:14:38.000 And as far as plastic in the ocean, we're like the bottom 1%.

00:14:43.000 Anyway, it's just fucking ridiculous, isn't it?

00:14:47.000 Climate.

00:14:47.000 We've been hearing about this.

00:14:48.000 Remember the ozone?

00:14:50.000 That was big when I was a kid.

00:14:51.000 Acid rain was big in the 80s and the ozone.

00:14:54.000 The ozone has since healed itself magically.

00:14:57.000 And acid rain has just vanished.

00:14:59.000 Then when I was a little kid, they were talking about global cooling.

00:15:03.000 The whole planet's going to become a giant fucking iceberg.

00:15:06.000 Then it was the oil shortage.

00:15:07.000 We're going to run out of oil.

00:15:08.000 Then it was water was a big thing for a while.

00:15:11.000 We're going to run out of potable water soon.

00:15:14.000 Now it's just, it's going to get hot.

00:15:16.000 And the whole, all of Earth will become the fucking Sahara Desert.

00:15:21.000 Unless we do something now and spend money.

00:15:24.000 Fuck you.

00:15:25.000 We're not.

00:15:29.000 Oh, here's an interesting little cop segue.

00:15:33.000 Someone was talking about the why do they have to shoot them.

00:15:39.000 They have to shoot them because not everyone is in a video game and goes down after one click.

00:15:46.000 Sometimes you'll shoot someone a bunch of times.

00:15:48.000 You don't get the heart.

00:15:50.000 You don't get the major organs.

00:15:51.000 And they keep coming at you to kill you.

00:15:54.000 And cops die all the fucking time.

00:15:59.000 So this is something you should show people when they say, why didn't they just Jesse James him?

00:16:04.000 They should have shot off his earrings.

00:16:06.000 That would have given him a wake-up call.

00:16:09.000 They always say fire a warning shot.

00:16:11.000 Yeah, warning shots work for sane people.

00:16:14.000 They're not going to work for you, for this fucking lunatic who's on God knows what drugs.

00:16:36.000 I think we just saw something that required no less than 17 bullets.

00:16:42.000 Did you see that?

00:16:43.000 He still said, oh, damn.

00:16:45.000 Boe Vey with the shooting and the bong bang and the hug.

00:16:49.000 Meshugana.

00:16:50.000 He's meshugana.

00:16:55.000 Die, bitch.

00:17:00.000 Which brings us to a cop who was just killed in LA by F-13.

00:17:05.000 Hey, extremist reporters who are monitoring extremism.

00:17:10.000 I have some extremism for you.

00:17:12.000 They're called Florencia 13.

00:17:15.000 They were formed.

00:17:16.000 Shit, I think they go back to the 50s.

00:17:20.000 Yeah.

00:17:22.000 Some of them, it's hard.

00:17:23.000 There's the Mexican mafia down there.

00:17:25.000 They control a lot of the gangs.

00:17:26.000 There's MS-13, and there's gangs that are about, you know, the way Hell's Angels would subsume other biker gangs?

00:17:35.000 I think Florencia, I think F-13, Florencia 13, is about subsuming other gangs.

00:17:42.000 It's very complicated over there.

00:17:44.000 There was one guy who wanted to bring them all together, which I strangely support.

00:17:48.000 I'm not proud of myself for that.

00:17:50.000 But there's too much bloodshed, too much violence, and too much money in the drug trade down there.

00:17:55.000 But what makes F-13 famous recently is their ethnic cleansing.

00:18:03.000 You fucking pussies are so focused on oath keepers and Kyle Chapman and Proud Boys.

00:18:09.000 And there is a gang in South Central that is murdering blacks for no reason outside of race.

00:18:20.000 It's not gang-related.

00:18:21.000 It's not bloods and crips.

00:18:23.000 It's a 13-year-old black girl on her skateboard going over to a friend's house.

00:18:28.000 Pop.

00:18:29.000 Dead.

00:18:30.000 It's ethnic cleansing.

00:18:33.000 It's Nazi stuff.

00:18:34.000 You hate Nazis, right?

00:18:35.000 This is right up your alley.

00:18:37.000 But you don't go near it.

00:18:38.000 Because as I told Bull Summer, you're a fucking pussy.

00:18:44.000 Anyways.

00:18:45.000 I sent this to you later.

00:18:47.000 Ryan.

00:18:49.000 Where's my Coke?

00:18:52.000 Wait, what's this?

00:18:54.000 Oh, yeah.

00:18:55.000 Florencia killing blacks.

00:18:58.000 They say the number 13, by the way, because M is the 13th letter in the alphabet.

00:19:03.000 So I guess both Florencia 13 and MS-13 work with the Mexican mafia because the Mexican mafia likes the 13 thing.

00:19:11.000 LA cops go over, woke DA George Gascon's head, and get the feds to file murder charges.

00:19:18.000 So these four F-13 gang members are just driving around their hood in Los Angeles, South Central, and they see this guy with silver chains.

00:19:28.000 I'm not sure if they recognize that He's a cop.

00:19:31.000 He's strapped, and maybe that's a giveaway in that area because it's impossible to get a legal gun.

00:19:37.000 But they steal his chains.

00:19:40.000 No, they must have known he's a cop because they took his wallet.

00:19:43.000 He gave them the wallet.

00:19:44.000 They took $100 out of it and they threw it away.

00:19:47.000 So it's not a normal robbery.

00:19:50.000 But these fucking animals were going to get a lenient sentence because of this Soros DA.

00:19:58.000 Now scroll down.

00:19:59.000 We can look at their faces.

00:20:00.000 So that cop, that young guy, he was the one who was murdered by these gang members.

00:20:06.000 That's the fucking faggot Soros DA.

00:20:09.000 And then if you scroll down more, you can see the four perps.

00:20:12.000 Disgusting, horrible animal, gang member, Mexican garbage.

00:20:16.000 Look at this chick.

00:20:18.000 Hey, Haley Marie Grisham.

00:20:21.000 Where's dad?

00:20:22.000 What happened with dad?

00:20:26.000 Could you be a bigger failure as a father when your 18-year-old is hanging out with F-13 on cop murdering sprees?

00:20:36.000 You pathetic piece of shit.

00:20:39.000 I know this makes no sense, but out of all of the scumbags here, I want to punch her dad the most.

00:20:45.000 I want to just fucking throw him around like a ragdoll.

00:20:49.000 God damn it, you fucking shithead.

00:20:52.000 You loser.

00:20:54.000 You fucking waste.

00:20:57.000 Look at your daughter, dumbass.

00:20:59.000 Anyway, scroll down.

00:21:03.000 So I think the sheriff did a good move.

00:21:05.000 He said, fuck these DAs.

00:21:07.000 We got to make this federal because they're not going to prosecute these people because they think it's mean.

00:21:14.000 But if you keep going down, they have this chart.

00:21:18.000 Yeah, yeah, crime space.

00:21:19.000 No, no, more of that.

00:21:20.000 More, more.

00:21:22.000 That thing.

00:21:23.000 George Soros' network of woke DAs.

00:21:26.000 Is it just me or does this seem like a tip of the iceberg?

00:21:31.000 Cyrus Vance.

00:21:32.000 I mean, every time I hear about a corrupt DA, I Google his name with George Soros and there is funding.

00:21:39.000 It's not five.

00:21:41.000 It's like 500.

00:21:44.000 So this, this, whoever made this map is a fucking underachiever.

00:21:49.000 All right.

00:21:52.000 Also in the news, I thought this sort of summed it up.

00:21:58.000 We got to call child services on these fucking LGBT moms who aren't even gay.

00:22:02.000 Somehow it would be better if they're gay.

00:22:05.000 You know what I mean?

00:22:06.000 Like, you know how blind people don't like the cochlear implant because it erases deaf culture?

00:22:15.000 So I kind of understand that.

00:22:17.000 But imagine if a mother was not deaf and she was against the cochlear implant and she was an activist for deaf rights.

00:22:26.000 Isn't that a lot more annoying?

00:22:30.000 Like when the deaf people fight against cochlear implants, I sort of go, I don't really, it's not really my world.

00:22:36.000 So I kind of get where you're coming from.

00:22:39.000 But with these people becoming crusaders for LGBT and also sucking dicks and getting fucked from behind by their male husband, I sort of go, what are you doing?

00:22:51.000 Mind your own.

00:22:52.000 Being good at it, if you will.

00:22:55.000 Why is my box here not perfectly square?

00:22:59.000 What do you mean?

00:23:00.000 Oh, it seems like a rhombus.

00:23:03.000 Yeah, it looks cheap to just have just a regular screen.

00:23:05.000 It looks like OBS.

00:23:07.000 It looks like you've...

00:23:08.000 No, I'd rather it was a normal screen.

00:23:09.000 And it shows more stuff.

00:23:12.000 Like, it's a sneaky way to...

00:23:13.000 Yeah, we had this argument last night.

00:23:14.000 Give up on non-right angles, please.

00:23:17.000 It's feminist, claptrap, bullshit, anti-male, anti-traditionalism.

00:23:24.000 We're all right angles here starting today.

00:23:29.000 Anyway, she's talking with these guys.

00:23:33.000 I have nothing to hide is her attitude, right?

00:23:37.000 And this kid goes, yeah, she's going to make sure we're LGBT.

00:23:41.000 Even if we're not gay, she's going to make sure we're part of it.

00:23:43.000 And the spookiest part of this whole video is when he brings it up, the farthest away kid, this kid senses like, uh-oh, he's blown up mom's spot.

00:23:53.000 Now, he doesn't necessarily believe in mom's philosophy.

00:23:58.000 He's just tenacious enough and he has his sort of like spidey senses to know that if you trample on mom's rhetoric, it's bad for everyone.

00:24:06.000 So don't rock the boat.

00:24:08.000 Whether the boat is on the right course or not, it's not really in his mindset.

00:24:14.000 But check out how smart he is as this mother basically shows that she's a terrible mother.

00:24:21.000 Maybe this kid with the blue hair recognizes this bitch could get child services called on her, and that's worse for all of us.

00:24:29.000 So let's just smile and keep things going here.

00:24:33.000 If I have to pretend I'm gay or I support LGBT, whatever the fuck you need.

00:24:37.000 As long as I get food and shelter.

00:24:40.000 White people that aren't like serial killers like Ted Button.

00:24:43.000 Does your mom say you have to be LGBT?

00:24:46.000 I'm not minding she's what I want to be, but something.

00:24:50.000 But come on, Lucky, keep talking.

00:24:53.000 Say what you're talking about.

00:24:55.000 My mom doesn't matter if I am gay or lesbian or any of that.

00:25:01.000 She doesn't care.

00:25:01.000 All she cares about is that I'm a part of it.

00:25:05.000 And if I'm not a part of it, she'll try to convince me to join it.

00:25:09.000 Because I...

00:25:10.000 What?

00:25:11.000 Are you saying right now?

00:25:13.000 Facts.

00:25:14.000 That I would convince you to join what?

00:25:15.000 The LGBTQIA plus?

00:25:17.000 Community.

00:25:18.000 White people that aren't like serious.

00:25:21.000 He said the quiet part out loud.

00:25:24.000 And look at that kid.

00:25:25.000 Shut up.

00:25:26.000 Shut up.

00:25:28.000 What a nightmare home.

00:25:31.000 And how frequently they say it?

00:25:33.000 They say LGBTQIA plus.

00:25:34.000 Yeah, yeah, it's one word.

00:25:36.000 It's one syllable for them.

00:25:40.000 Imagine that was white nationalism he was talking about, which is a lot more easily argued, I would say, than the need for infinite genders and pansexuality.

00:25:54.000 She'd be dead.

00:25:56.000 It'd be the end of the universe.

00:25:58.000 I don't agree with either of them, by the Way.

00:26:01.000 I am disabled.

00:26:04.000 Are you going to fix my box, or is that something you have to do later?

00:26:06.000 Later.

00:26:07.000 I make all those in Photoshops.

00:26:09.000 Oh.

00:26:10.000 Yes.

00:26:13.000 Also, people called in about how ugly the boxes in the super chat were last night.

00:26:18.000 Yeah.

00:26:18.000 Offering to make their own, even.

00:26:20.000 Well, the interface.

00:26:22.000 That's straight from the only place I could see it.

00:26:24.000 I know, but you made rhombuses then, too.

00:26:27.000 Oh, Tilted?

00:26:28.000 Yeah.

00:26:29.000 I think I have to send you to design school.

00:26:32.000 I hope it's not expensive.

00:26:33.000 I'm going to send you to a class.

00:26:36.000 And I won't take it out of my wallet.

00:26:38.000 I'll take it out of the company.

00:26:40.000 Yeah, that's what we're going to do.

00:26:41.000 I have excellent design.

00:26:43.000 No, you don't, Ryan.

00:26:44.000 Yes, I do.

00:26:46.000 Remember, let's talk about racism with the round edges and all that shit?

00:26:51.000 Sure, that.

00:26:52.000 But check out this intro I did.

00:26:56.000 Okay?

00:26:56.000 This is design, design, design.

00:27:01.000 All right.

00:27:02.000 Folks, he has a new intro to prove that he has a great sense of design.

00:27:07.000 We've barely begun this show.

00:27:08.000 It's going to be a long one today, folks.

00:27:11.000 I've got a lot of shit to say.

00:27:14.000 All right, you're taking too long, as per usual.

00:27:17.000 So I'll start the next segment of the show.

00:27:21.000 I was at the gym today, and my trainer, my coach, had me doing this weird karate kid bullshit where it's an iron beam.

00:27:30.000 And I have to practice.

00:27:32.000 I'm not hitting with my fist flat enough.

00:27:35.000 He wants like clonk.

00:27:37.000 So after I did a bunch of arm draining workouts, he had me hitting the iron.

00:27:42.000 It's not a pole.

00:27:43.000 It's like a square thing.

00:27:45.000 It's got flat edges, a pole with flat edges.

00:27:48.000 And I have to make sure my hands are up and go clink, clink, clink, clink.

00:27:53.000 And it's exactly like Karate Kid paint the fence stuff.

00:27:56.000 So I'm thinking of funny sketches in my head.

00:27:58.000 And I make myself laugh like once every two years.

00:28:01.000 The previous time was I got this underwear out of the dryer and it wasn't quite ready.

00:28:06.000 And I put it on and it was kind of moist in the bottom.

00:28:09.000 And I thought about how funny it would be to go up to my wife and think that this turned her on.

00:28:15.000 I got my underwear out of the dryer and it was still wet.

00:28:19.000 And I put it up against my balls and my taint.

00:28:22.000 And I could feel what you feel about what it's like to be wet down there.

00:28:28.000 That made me laugh.

00:28:30.000 And then today I made myself laugh thinking of doing a sketch.

00:28:33.000 Are you still looking for that thing?

00:28:35.000 No.

00:28:35.000 I'm not going to interrupt your story.

00:28:38.000 I thought how funny it'd be to do a parody of Karate Kid where he's painting the fence and then he's sweeping the floor and then he's mopping outside.

00:28:47.000 He's sweeping outside.

00:28:49.000 He has to strip the paint off the boiler and then repaint that and then he's got to do the laundry and then he's taking out the garbage.

00:28:57.000 And after a few days, he says to the sensei, what's going on here, man?

00:29:00.000 Am I ever going to learn how to fight?

00:29:02.000 And he just gives him a gun and he says, here, if anyone fucks with you, just shoot them.

00:29:07.000 Thanks for cleaning up my house.

00:29:09.000 That's pretty good.

00:29:11.000 Not as funny as I remembered it.

00:29:12.000 I did have a fun thing, though.

00:29:14.000 I got a new bit.

00:29:16.000 Every time I do something, I then convey it to Larry, who's known as Larry No Fear Barnes.

00:29:22.000 So I go to like it today.

00:29:24.000 And no one laughs at the gym.

00:29:25.000 I think because a lot of them come from a violent background.

00:29:28.000 So laughing at people or like, you talking to me?

00:29:31.000 Oh, am I funny?

00:29:32.000 Do I amuse you?

00:29:33.000 It started a lot of fights, maybe with their drunken father.

00:29:36.000 So when I'm doing straight comedy, they're like, what the fuck is someone about to get stabbed?

00:29:41.000 So I go up to Larry and I go, Larry, come here, man.

00:29:45.000 When you're in the ring, you'll notice that what drains you is fear.

00:29:50.000 So you have to be brave and you have to accept that you're in a fight, you could get knocked out, shit could go bad, and not let the fear drain you.

00:29:59.000 Okay, my man?

00:30:00.000 And then I hug him and I put my hand on his back.

00:30:03.000 No one's ever spoken to him like that in his life.

00:30:05.000 Or I'll explain what I just explained to you, Lao.

00:30:07.000 You got to get your knuckles flat on the iron there.

00:30:10.000 Watch here.

00:30:11.000 Lair, watch me.

00:30:12.000 Watch this.

00:30:13.000 Okay?

00:30:13.000 And then I take all the things that he's famous for, like no fear and what's that called?

00:30:18.000 Slipping?

00:30:20.000 And try to explain it to him.

00:30:21.000 Anyway, I'm getting on my own nerves.

00:30:23.000 But what does he do?

00:30:24.000 What does he do when I do this?

00:30:25.000 Yeah.

00:30:26.000 He goes.

00:30:28.000 And then he goes, you fucking crazy, man.

00:30:31.000 Yeah, that's him creating a folder.

00:30:32.000 You look dope.

00:30:32.000 That's him creating a folder to store what you just did in his brain.

00:30:38.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:30:38.000 It's like, you can't make this shit up.

00:30:40.000 They got to do a reality show about this place.

00:30:44.000 Did you see this, motherfucker?

00:30:45.000 And then he goes up to whoever he's trained.

00:30:47.000 Did you hear that shit?

00:30:49.000 He's a cupcake.

00:30:51.000 Here's the...

00:30:52.000 And I made the music for it, too.

00:30:58.000 Fonsus thing.

00:31:00.000 Yeah, that's fucking 90s.

00:31:04.000 That's 90s graphic design raver shit.

00:31:08.000 Like, that's exactly what I'm talking about.

00:31:11.000 That's 30 years out of date.

00:31:14.000 But Japanese writing?

00:31:15.000 Like, I put that in Vice when we were newsprint.

00:31:20.000 That's Eagle Trip and Vice in 1995.

00:31:26.000 So how...

00:31:26.000 Were you even born then?

00:31:28.000 That's cool.

00:31:29.000 How old are you?

00:31:30.000 48.

00:31:32.000 When were you born?

00:31:33.000 89.

00:31:34.000 Okay, so I guess you were too young to know, but when you were six, that was the way everyone did graphic design.

00:31:41.000 Well, that's shit rules.

00:31:43.000 See, you're never wrong.

00:31:44.000 What is it supposed to be?

00:31:45.000 Like some flash.

00:31:46.000 You can't learn.

00:31:46.000 But you say cars got better and then the design got better, but cars got worse.

00:31:52.000 I disagree.

00:31:53.000 I think everything was better back when.

00:31:55.000 Yeah, I know, because you're low quality.

00:31:58.000 You're base.

00:31:58.000 You're like, yeah, Chinese looks cool.

00:32:00.000 I'm based.

00:32:01.000 No, it was Oriental Crime Report.

00:32:03.000 It's the whole guy.

00:32:05.000 Okay, well, that was a terrible example.

00:32:06.000 Here's another Asian.

00:32:07.000 The thing you did for Katie Hopkins, that was really cool, but that took a lot of time.

00:32:11.000 That's my style.

00:32:12.000 It's like, no, it didn't.

00:32:13.000 It's, what the fuck's that guy's name from Monty Python?

00:32:16.000 Yeah, I told you to mimic the guy from Monty Python.

00:32:19.000 But I've always done that sort of shit.

00:32:21.000 What?

00:32:22.000 Yes.

00:32:23.000 Wait, wait, wait.

00:32:24.000 Here's another one.

00:32:25.000 Wait, this one is not that style, but Terry Gilliam.

00:32:28.000 I'll show you another one.

00:32:29.000 But this one is pretty cool too in the news.

00:32:32.000 Porny, shitty font.

00:32:35.000 Like this blowing out the contrast is someone who's excited to be able to do it.

00:32:42.000 This is so fucking amateur.

00:32:46.000 Yeah, stop.

00:32:47.000 Will you stop wasting and ruining the show, showing us shitty graphic design to show us how good you are at graphic design?

00:32:52.000 And then also.

00:32:54.000 Oh my God.

00:32:55.000 The feminist bumper we should watch.

00:32:58.000 Okay.

00:32:58.000 That's brand new.

00:33:00.000 And is it sick?

00:33:02.000 Yes.

00:33:05.000 Feminism.

00:33:07.000 I'll just hold on just one sec.

00:33:09.000 I just got to find it here.

00:33:10.000 It's got to load it up.

00:33:11.000 Just give me just two secs.

00:33:12.000 Sorry, just a second here while I get it set up and show you how great I am after showing you two horrible pieces of shit that are super corny wave flyers.

00:33:21.000 You, I think.

00:33:22.000 Yeah, I did.

00:33:23.000 Okay, now I don't have it.

00:33:25.000 You're ruining the show.

00:33:26.000 Opening.

00:33:27.000 I had a really tight show all planned.

00:33:29.000 I was really excited about it.

00:33:30.000 We could hit feminism.

00:33:31.000 Who here identifies as a feminist?

00:33:34.000 We are the storm.

00:33:36.000 The very form of change that the world has been waiting for.

00:33:39.000 We need to make these like spilters on.

00:33:43.000 You said I was too pretty to fight.

00:33:48.000 That's toxic masculinity.

00:33:50.000 You don't realize how you're behaving.

00:33:51.000 World pretty good.

00:33:52.000 And the song is, I'd love to change the world, but I don't know what to do, which is so.

00:33:56.000 The feminism, why the letters have to go all kookified?

00:34:00.000 You said you liked it when, and thanks for calling and the other ones.

00:34:04.000 So I literally used that formula.

00:34:06.000 Okay.

00:34:07.000 Anyway, stop ruining my show.

00:34:08.000 Zach Doe.

00:34:09.000 So back to the boxing gym.

00:34:10.000 I was thinking today how there's black dudes and white dudes, young guys, old guys.

00:34:16.000 You know, the young guys have a chance at making this a real career.

00:34:21.000 Very young guys.

00:34:22.000 Older dudes are just there to stay in shape.

00:34:24.000 Everyone's the same.

00:34:26.000 They play trap music.

00:34:27.000 The black guys like the trap music.

00:34:29.000 As old guys want to hear Black Sabbath.

00:34:31.000 So we switch it back and forth.

00:34:32.000 There's zero animosity.

00:34:35.000 And one of the reasons there's no animosity is because boxing is hard.

00:34:38.000 So we're focused more on that.

00:34:40.000 And the fact that you're here doing the hard thing is everything.

00:34:44.000 And even if you hear some like old cops or farmer making some joke about, yeah, they love that.

00:34:48.000 They're going to steal your fucking TV next.

00:34:50.000 You'll see that same guy over there in the weight section talking to the dude, blah, blah, blah.

00:34:54.000 So anything that would appear as racist if you had like a secret hidden camera, it's a very minor thin layer at the top that is very penetrable and is immediately forgotten when they go to lift weights together.

00:35:08.000 And I think it's because boxing is hard.

00:35:11.000 They're focused on a thing.

00:35:12.000 It's almost like a job.

00:35:14.000 I actually said this about threesomes before.

00:35:16.000 People thought it was gay that I had a threesome with me and another guy.

00:35:20.000 We're like, fucking this chick.

00:35:21.000 And it's like, I don't see the other guy.

00:35:23.000 We both have a job to do.

00:35:24.000 And they're like, what about his dick?

00:35:25.000 Do you ever see his dick?

00:35:26.000 And I'm like, if that ever happened, it would be like you're digging a hole for a body and two shovels clinked.

00:35:31.000 Like you're focused on the hole, literally.

00:35:35.000 And it's the same with skate parks.

00:35:37.000 Young kids, like when my boy was like six, I would bring him to the skateboard park and you'd think, well, here's a little kid who can barely go up the thing and back down again.

00:35:46.000 And he's scared and they want to use the ramp.

00:35:48.000 So you'd think they'd go, get the fuck out of here.

00:35:51.000 But they don't.

00:35:52.000 They're like, hey, kid, yeah, you know what you want to do here?

00:35:55.000 Here, let me show you.

00:35:56.000 And then just go up and bend your knees.

00:35:58.000 Bend your knees.

00:35:59.000 They knew more about it.

00:36:00.000 Meanwhile, they're doing all the kickflips and catching air and doing what all the kids are doing with the boneless ones and the fucking rail slides.

00:36:09.000 And that's true too here out in the suburbs when I take them.

00:36:12.000 My youngest boy now and his friend, they're not in the way.

00:36:15.000 There's older guys there.

00:36:16.000 Zero judgment because everyone's focused on this hard thing.

00:36:19.000 Skateboarding is hard work.

00:36:22.000 So that's what matters.

00:36:23.000 Race isn't a thing.

00:36:25.000 So how does this apply to America?

00:36:27.000 Get to work.

00:36:28.000 Fuck the freebies.

00:36:29.000 Fuck the welfare.

00:36:30.000 Fuck the food stamps.

00:36:32.000 Let's get jobs.

00:36:33.000 Well, what about illegals?

00:36:34.000 Let's close the borders, get the illegals out of here.

00:36:37.000 Well, now we need a workforce.

00:36:38.000 Yeah, let's legalize drugs.

00:36:39.000 That's end crime.

00:36:42.000 Get prisoners out of prison.

00:36:43.000 Not 5% of the people deserve to be in prison.

00:36:46.000 For some reason, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are obsessed with the 5% that should be there.

00:36:50.000 The Julius Jones is the mass murders.

00:36:52.000 I want the fake domestics out.

00:36:54.000 I want the stupid drug charges out.

00:36:56.000 I want the dumb gun charges out.

00:36:58.000 Get all them out and get them to work.

00:37:01.000 And then we won't have time for all this bullshit talk about equity and racism and sexism and transism and the 1619 project and slavery.

00:37:11.000 And this is why blue-collar guys are in a way more woke than middle-class and upper-class people because they're hanging out with black dudes.

00:37:19.000 They don't have time for this shit.

00:37:21.000 They're working all day.

00:37:22.000 They're shoveling the coal in Virginia.

00:37:25.000 They're fucking welding on the high-rises in New York City.

00:37:30.000 They're inspecting the steel.

00:37:32.000 They're re-grouting the fucking bathrooms.

00:37:36.000 They're fixing the plumbing of the entire skyscraper.

00:37:41.000 They don't have time for your bullshit 16-19 lies.

00:37:46.000 The future of America is to make it more like a skate park and a boxing gym, where we're all focused on the task and not each other.

00:37:55.000 Which brings us to how we really are, 1-5.

00:37:59.000 We're colorblind.

00:38:01.000 America is not racist.

00:38:03.000 Racism is not a thing.

00:38:05.000 I know I'm talking about it a lot on today's show, but it's to say, can we stop fucking talking about it?

00:38:11.000 You know?

00:38:14.000 We're in a standingly colorblind country.

00:38:15.000 96% of Americans approve of neighbors of a different race.

00:38:20.000 Highest in the world.

00:38:21.000 91% approve of interracial marriage.

00:38:25.000 89% of Americans think rising diversity is just fine.

00:38:28.000 Americans are loving, generous people.

00:38:29.000 Now, people will say to you, okay, 91% approve of interracial marriage, but only about 2% or 3% of whites marry outside their race, and it's even less with other races.

00:38:38.000 Yeah, those are not mutually exclusive.

00:38:41.000 People, whites may tend to marry whites.

00:38:44.000 It doesn't mean that they have a problem with you not doing it.

00:38:48.000 And yes, there are black neighborhoods.

00:38:50.000 There's Koreatown.

00:38:51.000 There's Chinatown.

00:38:53.000 There's white neighborhoods.

00:38:54.000 But if anyone dares to stray from that tendency, no one gives a shit.

00:38:59.000 If I move into, I've lived in Chinatown.

00:39:01.000 No one fucking cared.

00:39:03.000 I've lived with Hasidic Jews my whole life in Montreal, in Mile End, in the northern part of Le Plateau.

00:39:12.000 Upstate, I'm right next to Curious Joel in Eldred.

00:39:18.000 And then in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, I'm right next to them by the fucking Williamsburg Bridge.

00:39:22.000 They didn't give a shit.

00:39:23.000 What are you doing?

00:39:25.000 Oops.

00:39:30.000 And it's sort of like a male and a female.

00:39:32.000 They'd say, no one really has a problem with gays.

00:39:35.000 Oh, really?

00:39:35.000 Why do 90% of Americans have heterosexual relationships?

00:39:39.000 Because that's just the tendency.

00:39:42.000 Most men want to fuck women and vice versa.

00:39:45.000 But if two women want to fuck and two men want to fuck, we go, okay.

00:39:48.000 Don't get any jizz on the couch.

00:39:51.000 This is the study it came from.

00:39:53.000 The source.

00:39:58.000 The world's most racially tolerant countries.

00:40:02.000 Ryan, can you please figure out how to get through the paywalls?

00:40:06.000 It's a very simple VPN or whatever.

00:40:09.000 I've had a million people call and explain anyway.

00:40:12.000 Can't get to the map, but it shows you that North America is by far the most tolerant country in the world.

00:40:21.000 Yet, it's the country you hear bitching about racism the most in.

00:40:25.000 Do Indonesians constantly whine and complain about the lack of equity?

00:40:30.000 Do we have fucking Brazilians?

00:40:31.000 Who, by the way, we got 320,000 of the 10 million slaves that came from Africa.

00:40:36.000 Brazil got 4 million.

00:40:39.000 Is Brazil constantly nattering on about racism?

00:40:42.000 No, they got fucking Bolsonaro, the braveheart fawns of the Western world.

00:40:54.000 Which brings me to this black author over at Medium who says, I'm with Gavin McInnes.

00:41:02.000 I mean, they didn't literally say my name, but I'm with Gavin McInnes.

00:41:05.000 I'm so bored of these anti-racists.

00:41:07.000 I actually kind of get a racist vibe from them.

00:41:09.000 They see us like pets.

00:41:11.000 Anti-racism is becoming troublingly racist.

00:41:14.000 You might think it's helping, but it's not.

00:41:17.000 And she goes, or what is it?

00:41:19.000 He or she, go back to the top there?

00:41:22.000 Steve.

00:41:22.000 He goes, for example, Los Angeles private institution Brentwood School recently announced plans to segregate parent-teacher meetings by race as part of its, and I'm not kidding here, inclusive excellence racial equity initiative.

00:41:39.000 So for a racial equity initiative, these woke liberals are imposing segregation on the school.

00:41:47.000 White parents will meet white teachers, will meet with white teachers.

00:41:52.000 Black parents will meet with black teachers.

00:41:54.000 Latino parents will meet with Latino teachers.

00:41:57.000 My kids are Ho-Chunk Indian, Slovak Scots.

00:42:02.000 Who should they meet with?

00:42:05.000 I presume that interracial families will need to separate in the name of progress.

00:42:11.000 And then this is my final article before we get to a green screen about this.

00:42:16.000 And this bitch stole my line, by the way.

00:42:18.000 This is in Quillette.

00:42:22.000 What's the title of this?

00:42:23.000 What a stupid picture to use.

00:42:25.000 The Infantilization of Black America by who?

00:42:29.000 Tosin?

00:42:30.000 Tossin Akintola.

00:42:32.000 So we don't know what gender that is.

00:42:35.000 Well-meaning white progressives, meanwhile, treat black Americans more like the family pet.

00:42:40.000 Hey!

00:42:43.000 Than the family friend, condescending to praise us when we align with their views and fearly attacking when we don't, like when blacks voted against gay marriage in California.

00:42:54.000 The conversation about race in America has been framed by progressive media and co-opted by the Democratic Party to supplement the coalition that supported Obama during his presidency, presumably in the hope that blacks would gratefully support Hillary in her run for office.

00:43:08.000 But Democrats have come to take the black voting bloc for granted.

00:43:12.000 Even though 44% of black voters consider themselves moderate and another 27 consider themselves conservative, black Americans still overwhelmingly vote Democrat, 90%.

00:43:25.000 That's what LBJ said, right?

00:43:27.000 We'll have these niggas voting for us for the next 100 years.

00:43:30.000 But this can't last because like Latinos, blacks are a Christian.

00:43:36.000 They're pro-life.

00:43:38.000 I mean, when you get more middle class.

00:43:40.000 They're anti-gay.

00:43:41.000 They think homosexuality is a sin.

00:43:44.000 To be on the DL, you'll get your ass kicked.

00:43:46.000 Hence the term down low.

00:43:48.000 So can they vote like that forever?

00:43:50.000 And Latinos are even more so.

00:43:52.000 They're more pro-life.

00:43:54.000 They're more anti-abortion.

00:43:55.000 They're more pro-family.

00:43:57.000 And they're more anti-gay.

00:44:00.000 So eventually, both of these Christian groups are going to go, what the fuck are we doing here?

00:44:04.000 Who are these people that we're supporting?

00:44:06.000 And the second that happens, the left is going to be pushing for closed borders.

00:44:12.000 They don't like you.

00:44:13.000 Hey, blacks and Latinos kissing Democrat ass.

00:44:16.000 They don't like you.

00:44:18.000 You're a useful pet to them right now.

00:44:21.000 They think you're adorable.

00:44:23.000 But as soon as the family dog bites someone, it's taken out back and shot.

00:44:29.000 And by you not voting for them is you biting their kids.

00:44:33.000 And you will be gone like that.

00:44:36.000 Anyway, that brings us to this super fun green screen moment called They Make Great Pets.

00:44:59.000 Yeah, let's run everybody.

00:45:15.000 Is that plugged in?

00:45:16.000 What?

00:45:16.000 Is that plugged in?

00:45:19.000 Yeah?

00:45:20.000 You gotta hear anything?

00:45:21.000 Oh, keep checking.

00:45:22.000 Checkety check, check.

00:45:24.000 Check.

00:45:25.000 Checkety check.

00:45:26.000 So this is a cool sweater that a white woman knitted.

00:45:29.000 And it's got all these different hands.

00:45:31.000 You know, I saw a map done on the skin color that Hispanics identify with, and most of it was this.

00:45:41.000 The black, black ones were like 2%.

00:45:45.000 So Hispanics are white.

00:45:46.000 Anyway, this woman did a wonderful sweater to show her support.

00:45:49.000 It's actually a sweater t-shirt, which I don't really understand.

00:45:54.000 That's like leather shorts.

00:45:57.000 You got all that artillery to keep warm, and then you leave your arms bare.

00:46:01.000 You're going to get a cold rush in the old armpit there, Karen.

00:46:06.000 All right, so look at her neck.

00:46:08.000 That's a shit chest, you can tell.

00:46:11.000 Like, is there a more incompatible group than these fucking liberal, secular, gino Karens and black dude from the hood?

00:46:23.000 They couldn't.

00:46:24.000 It's like Ann Coulter said, the only thing they have in common is they all hate white men.

00:46:29.000 You can see her.

00:46:30.000 She's got a pretty good body, though, for a 48-year-old.

00:46:34.000 Okay, what is this one?

00:46:35.000 Can I go to a black barber shop if I'm white?

00:46:39.000 I saw it on TV.

00:46:41.000 They look so cool, and they're all riffing.

00:46:42.000 I want to riff with those guys.

00:46:44.000 There is something weird about whites, and I have this too, where you're just like, you see them and you're like, hey, yo, what's up?

00:46:52.000 It's a genetic thing.

00:46:54.000 Like, I want to be friends.

00:46:55.000 We don't have to be enemies.

00:46:57.000 Let's be friends.

00:46:58.000 What's the handshake?

00:46:59.000 Yo.

00:47:01.000 Yo, dog.

00:47:02.000 Yeah, man.

00:47:03.000 I ain't trying to fuck with that.

00:47:06.000 Sometimes you have to pretend to be a racist and pretend to hate their guts just to get up to a normal level, to get to zero.

00:47:14.000 Because you start up here.

00:47:16.000 Hi, want to be friends?

00:47:17.000 Let's rap together.

00:47:18.000 Then you think, okay, I'm going to pretend to be racist.

00:47:20.000 And it brings you here.

00:47:21.000 It's a similar thing you do if you're uncomfortable going through customs and you're innocent.

00:47:26.000 Pretend you have a kilo of Coke and you're now having to hide the cocaine.

00:47:32.000 It takes away the stress.

00:47:33.000 I don't know why.

00:47:34.000 These are just tricks why people have to do.

00:47:36.000 I don't know.

00:47:36.000 Normal barbershops are boring.

00:47:38.000 And I just see people having a good time in these black barbershops.

00:47:42.000 But would I be accepted?

00:47:45.000 Or are y'all just going to look at me funny?

00:47:47.000 I want to go so bad.

00:47:50.000 This is like Animal House where they go, Otis, my man.

00:47:54.000 And the music stops.

00:47:56.000 And the other guy goes, we're going to die.

00:48:00.000 Can you imagine walking into a black barbershop and just sitting down?

00:48:03.000 Hey, that would be funny.

00:48:07.000 Next.

00:48:08.000 They make great pets.

00:48:10.000 What is this one?

00:48:12.000 Black people are beautiful people, even in prison.

00:48:15.000 So this is a Reddit shit lip safari where they look at comments.

00:48:18.000 This must have been something about, I don't know, blacks working in the cafeteria, and there's some rich white woman who is keen on not living near them, doesn't actually like them close up, but from afar it's fun.

00:48:32.000 If you like them so much, this is like that teacher that I boxed with who teaches in the South Bronx.

00:48:37.000 He's like, hey, if you like them so much, we need tutors.

00:48:40.000 Come on down.

00:48:40.000 Can you help out?

00:48:41.000 We'd love to have you help out.

00:48:43.000 Nah, can I just write a check?

00:48:45.000 He's got Yeezys on.

00:48:46.000 What are the fucking Kanye West shoes?

00:48:49.000 Yeezys.

00:48:50.000 He's got Yeezys.

00:48:51.000 His uncle gives him all the money he needs.

00:48:53.000 His shoe collection is probably worth $100,000.

00:48:56.000 Money's not an issue.

00:48:59.000 It's paternal figures.

00:49:01.000 No, I don't want to touch them.

00:49:03.000 Next.

00:49:05.000 What's this one say?

00:49:08.000 Employers, consider giving your black employees a day or two off after the written house verdict, regardless of the outcome.

00:49:16.000 Oh, really?

00:49:17.000 So whether he's getting the gas chamber or whether he's getting a million-dollar reward, it's still going to be very emotional.

00:49:24.000 It's going to be hard for capital B, even the capital B shit.

00:49:29.000 The fuck is that about?

00:49:31.000 That's embarrassing.

00:49:32.000 It's pandering.

00:49:34.000 You know what?

00:49:35.000 I like my pet more than humans.

00:49:37.000 It's like when people say, I like my dog more than most humans.

00:49:41.000 In fact, I'm going to capitalize dog just like you would God, because my dog is God spelled backwards.

00:49:48.000 Remember that thing they had?

00:49:50.000 It was someone saying, I think animals are better than people, except black people.

00:49:57.000 Black people are as good as animals.

00:49:59.000 And you're like, congratulations, moron.

00:50:02.000 You just went full circle and you're as bad as the most dangerous racist on earth.

00:50:07.000 It's going to be hard for black people to work and it isn't fair to expect them to.

00:50:11.000 My doggy shouldn't have to work after the bad day.

00:50:14.000 It should be National Doggy Day.

00:50:18.000 They make great pets.

00:50:20.000 This is me sleeping on one of my pets.

00:50:23.000 Wait a minute.

00:50:24.000 Oh, fuck.

00:50:25.000 It's her hand.

00:50:26.000 I thought they added beard fuzz to the bottom of the statue.

00:50:30.000 Look at that thing.

00:50:32.000 I would love you to spend two days with a live George Floyd, just hanging out in parking lots, trying to hustle fake $20 bills, smoking crack, doing fentanyl, fucking in a fucking alleyway,

00:50:49.000 dressing up as a con ed guy and attacking a pregnant woman in a home invasion robbery.

00:50:55.000 Is that what you love?

00:50:56.000 Do you love?

00:50:57.000 Look at her.

00:50:59.000 Dude, we're reaching t-shirt levels here.

00:51:03.000 This is dangerous.

00:51:05.000 Do you know how big the knee they have to sculpt is going to be?

00:51:08.000 What?

00:51:09.000 Do you know how big the knee that they have to sculpt is going to be?

00:51:13.000 Maybe that's what she's doing.

00:51:14.000 She's pretending to be Derek Chauvin's knee.

00:51:18.000 Oh my God.

00:51:19.000 We may have to make that a shirt.

00:51:23.000 What else have we got here?

00:51:26.000 I had a question in the SAT that assumed you knew what an escalator looked like.

00:51:31.000 Some people in poorer communities have never been on one.

00:51:35.000 I wouldn't say it's racist, but it does present an issue.

00:51:39.000 Why didn't they show his face, please?

00:51:41.000 I want to have him here in the studio.

00:51:43.000 People in poorer communities have never been on an escalator in the United States of America in 2021?

00:51:49.000 It's just one example.

00:51:51.000 You know what I think he's talking about?

00:51:52.000 That viral video of the first escalator in like, it wasn't Zimbabwe.

00:51:58.000 Brand new mall, yeah, brand new Mall.

00:52:00.000 Yeah, it was like Kenya or something like that.

00:52:04.000 It was a less disgusting African shithole.

00:52:09.000 And they were all standing on it going, whoa, and falling everywhere.

00:52:13.000 I don't know.

00:52:14.000 I probably saw my first escalator when I was four.

00:52:16.000 I didn't take a night class in using them.

00:52:18.000 You figure them out after maybe a nanosecond.

00:52:22.000 It's just one example.

00:52:23.000 But escalators are usually in places like airports, malls, places of big business, places of big business.

00:52:34.000 Is this how we talk now?

00:52:36.000 People of color, places of big business?

00:52:39.000 Big business one.

00:52:40.000 What?

00:52:40.000 It's in a place of big business one.

00:52:43.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:52:44.000 This was translated by an aboriginal.

00:52:47.000 Look at them.

00:52:49.000 I think he's basing it on this.

00:52:51.000 In fact, I think he's so retarded, he thinks this is like Compton or Baltimore.

00:52:57.000 The Mall of America.

00:52:59.000 By the way, sitting on it is a Band-Aid solution.

00:53:02.000 You're okay for now, but eventually you're going to get to the top.

00:53:05.000 And that's going to be a huge pylon.

00:53:10.000 Is it just me or are escalators intuitive?

00:53:15.000 They're asking each other if they need a ticket to ride it.

00:53:18.000 We had that ticket coming up.

00:53:20.000 We did.

00:53:20.000 I got up.

00:53:24.000 Because you don't have the money to spend there.

00:53:26.000 You might not know.

00:53:28.000 Escalators are fucking everywhere.

00:53:30.000 And every black person in the entire country has been to a mall.

00:53:35.000 The fuck are you talking about?

00:53:37.000 I was at Davin Buster's in Pelham the other day, and I was the only white guy there.

00:53:43.000 Two major real estate search engines, Nick's crime data in racial equity push.

00:53:47.000 Yeah, I don't want to know about it if my dog pees on the carpet.

00:53:51.000 Bad dog.

00:53:52.000 Bad dog.

00:53:53.000 Let's just erase that.

00:53:54.000 This was like when Eric Holder was the DA and Obama said, yeah, we got 14% of the population doing a lot of the crime, 50% of the violent crime.

00:54:03.000 And even that 14%, it's not old black ladies and babies.

00:54:08.000 It's black males 18 to 25.

00:54:09.000 So it's like 3% are doing 50% of the violent crime.

00:54:13.000 And Eric Holder goes, I got it.

00:54:16.000 Stop saying that.

00:54:18.000 So I forget when it was, 2010 or so?

00:54:21.000 They just erased blacks from the crime data.

00:54:25.000 And now if you want to talk about how blacks are represented in certain crimes, you have to go back to 2010.

00:54:32.000 And now we're doing it in real estate.

00:54:34.000 African guy in the hardware, oh, this is great.

00:54:36.000 This is my favorite one.

00:54:37.000 This inspired this whole segment.

00:54:39.000 African guy in the hardware store asked me to put on a mask like, come on, bro.

00:54:44.000 Clearly, his actual desire and not just some policy.

00:54:48.000 Guess I'll start wearing a mask again if Omicron's at the point where normal people actually want you to.

00:54:55.000 Oh yeah, I guess I'll wear the mask again now that normal people actually want you to.

00:55:00.000 Not trying to be an antisocial personality.

00:55:03.000 Now I'm reading like a pet.

00:55:06.000 So if someone white asks you to put on a mask, don't do it.

00:55:08.000 But when a black dude does it and he's cool, I don't know.

00:55:13.000 Oh yeah, look at this one.

00:55:14.000 So saying you are my sunshine and whoever finishes it gives them $500.

00:55:18.000 I guess a black person said that.

00:55:21.000 The amount of kindness I see coming from black people, they just radiate positive energy.

00:55:27.000 Much love.

00:55:29.000 And then someone else says, not want to bring race into this, but African Americans are some of the most chill, childlike, perfect.

00:55:39.000 Perfect.

00:55:40.000 To think childlike is a compliment.

00:55:43.000 That goes back to the infantilization we were talking about earlier.

00:55:46.000 Some of the most chill, childlike, and funny people to have around.

00:55:51.000 I am not one, but I'm saying from my experience with co-workers.

00:55:57.000 They're almost like cookies.

00:55:59.000 They're human cookies, freshly baked.

00:56:03.000 That's why they're brown.

00:56:05.000 They're all chocolate chip.

00:56:08.000 Is that the last one?

00:56:09.000 Oh, okay.

00:56:10.000 What's this now?

00:56:11.000 Oh, yeah, this is a guy.

00:56:12.000 He's renting out an apartment, but guess what?

00:56:16.000 You must be queer.

00:56:18.000 Enby, whatever the fuck that means.

00:56:20.000 Do you know what that means, Ryan?

00:56:21.000 Enby?

00:56:23.000 No.

00:56:25.000 POC preferred.

00:56:26.000 The rent?

00:56:27.000 Well, it depends.

00:56:29.000 It's $925 plus utilities for BIPOC.

00:56:34.000 What does BIPOC mean?

00:56:36.000 Again, bisexual people of color?

00:56:40.000 Binary?

00:56:42.000 NB.

00:56:43.000 What does NB mean?

00:56:45.000 In the LGBT community?

00:56:46.000 I can't really read that.

00:56:48.000 NB is a non-binary person.

00:56:51.000 NB.

00:56:52.000 Oh, non-binary.

00:56:54.000 Genetic project.

00:56:55.000 Yeah.

00:56:55.000 And then what's BIPOC?

00:56:57.000 Okay, let's see.

00:56:58.000 Because I want to be...

00:56:59.000 A lot of these you could just say, yeah.

00:57:01.000 I thought it was biracial person of color.

00:57:03.000 Let's see.

00:57:03.000 Yeah, that's it.

00:57:03.000 Biracial person of color.

00:57:05.000 So I could probably say I'm like half Armenian, half Romanian or something, right?

00:57:10.000 I could just find some.

00:57:11.000 No, black indigenous people.

00:57:13.000 Oh, black, indigenous person of color.

00:57:16.000 I think I'd just say Cherokee like Elizabeth Warren.

00:57:20.000 And then, of course, it's $50 more if you're not BIPOC.

00:57:24.000 Wait a minute.

00:57:27.000 Queer can be...

00:57:28.000 What if you're white, queer, or white, Enby or white trans?

00:57:32.000 Wait a minute.

00:57:33.000 A lot of these three groups still have to pay the $975.

00:57:38.000 It's only POCs who get the $50 discount, which I guess comes out of his pocket.

00:57:44.000 You're a dork.

00:57:45.000 Is that the last one?

00:57:46.000 They are childlike.

00:57:47.000 If you were to look at black children.

00:57:53.000 What the hell you talking about?

00:57:54.000 You can't say shit.

00:57:55.000 You got this shit from the 99 system.

00:57:57.000 Why would I talk to like that, bro?

00:57:58.000 So in ways, they are childlike.

00:58:01.000 Because from children, they're full-blown, you know.

00:58:04.000 Is that the last one?

00:58:06.000 Nope.

00:58:06.000 We've got one more.

00:58:08.000 Do we know if this guy is indigenous?

00:58:10.000 He looks it to me.

00:58:11.000 Native Americans and black people in America automatically get a pass for being anti-vaccine because of the rich and long history of unconsented drug testing.

00:58:22.000 Rich sounds good, doesn't it?

00:58:24.000 I have a rich history of unconsented drug testing.

00:58:29.000 Unconsented sterilization and biochemical slash drug warfare conducted on these groups.

00:58:34.000 I'd be anti-vaccine as fuck if I was in one of these groups.

00:58:38.000 Yeah, that's why I'm anti-vaccine, actually, because of the government's terrible history with mandates like thalidomide.

00:58:46.000 That wasn't a mandate, but that was something that was going to save all the babies, be great for pregnant women.

00:58:51.000 Next thing you know, everyone's got lobster arms.

00:58:53.000 So, because you sterilized Puerto Ricans and waged all these drug experiments on various BIPOCs, I don't want your fucking drugs.

00:59:22.000 And we come back with that with pets behaving badly.

00:59:31.000 Look at this PlayStation prank.

00:59:33.000 Of course, people doing pranks are better at conveying the state of the union and what's happening in America better than the news.

00:59:42.000 Why does 65% of Americans not trust the media?

00:59:45.000 Because they would never do something like this.

01:00:06.000 Why are they running with him?

01:00:09.000 Are they going to rob him?

01:00:13.000 Wait, I want to hear what he's saying, the guy in the coat.

01:00:21.000 Why are you just trying to snatch my thing?

01:00:25.000 I think the guy with the places he goes, why do you want to snatch my thing?

01:00:28.000 And the thief said, why do you want to snatch my thing?

01:00:41.000 Or you have the train thing I just sent you.

01:00:46.000 Ryan, I sent it after the notes.

01:00:49.000 This is going on in LA.

01:00:51.000 They're now jumping on moving trains, opening up the containers, and just going through all the junk.

01:00:57.000 And when they find something like this, or this pen, or something that's not a computer or a PS5, they just throw it on the ground.

01:01:04.000 Like fishing lures.

01:01:06.000 Books.

01:01:06.000 Books do very well.

01:01:08.000 Yo, what's good with that chain?

01:01:09.000 That supply chain.

01:01:14.000 Look at that.

01:01:14.000 Just dragging.

01:01:15.000 Has he got a coffee in his hand?

01:01:17.000 He's at work.

01:01:20.000 Oh, no, he's filming everyone.

01:01:23.000 Dragging his box, dragging his ass.

01:01:28.000 This is in Zimbabwe.

01:01:29.000 Oh, wait.

01:01:30.000 Sorry.

01:01:30.000 It's in Los Angeles.

01:01:32.000 I'm just get on news, baby.

01:01:35.000 They don't always make great pets.

01:01:39.000 Oh, we found a TV one.

01:01:40.000 That was full of shit.

01:01:44.000 Good thing we defunded the police.

01:01:46.000 Those racist police don't have to get involved.

01:01:50.000 By the way, F-13 has been very effective in ethnically cleansing the area.

01:01:56.000 When we think of South Central, at least when you're my age, you think of rap and stuff.

01:02:03.000 NWA.

01:02:05.000 If you go to NWA's Turf Now, it is all M-E-X-I-C-A-N.

01:02:10.000 There are no more blacks in that area because they were ethnically cleansed.

01:02:14.000 And the only media source that ever wrote about it was, I think it's called Red State Politics, Ryan Gerduski.

01:02:20.000 Look at this.

01:02:21.000 They're just going with the train now.

01:02:23.000 Throwing shit out.

01:02:27.000 And if any of them get caught, they're looking at zero probation, zero jail time.

01:02:33.000 Remember, stealing under $800 is not a crime.

01:02:36.000 We're in a weird conundrum, too, because I've always been against this over-incarceration, but at the same time, they're letting everyone run rampant.

01:02:44.000 I'm against bullshit charges for drugs, guns, stuff like that.

01:02:48.000 Things that are not in the Constitution.

01:02:50.000 Theft, that's pretty basic.

01:02:52.000 That should be punished.

01:02:56.000 What do you think, Ryan?

01:02:59.000 Personally, I think that there's no point stealing a constitution.

01:03:02.000 Quintez is here.

01:03:03.000 Yeah.

01:03:04.000 Hi.

01:03:04.000 Hey, Nick, do you think I should not be on Getter because you were banned?

01:03:09.000 I think Getter is a bunch of homosexuals.

01:03:11.000 I mean, obviously, we know that if you look at their policies, and obviously they talked about Christmas quite disparagingly, that nobody liked that.

01:03:19.000 That was not very based, you know.

01:03:21.000 So I think they're pretty whack, but I'm going to keep on there.

01:03:25.000 I have an alt account.

01:03:27.000 And until something comes along where we could, you know, maybe drop some spicier language, then maybe we could just chill on Getter for a bit.

01:03:38.000 Okay.

01:03:39.000 Good to know.

01:03:40.000 I got to admit, while you were talking there, I was thinking about myself and how there'd be no Nick Fuentes without any Gav.

01:03:45.000 And maybe that's why I'm so hated.

01:03:47.000 That is true.

01:03:47.000 Because I red-pilled a generation.

01:03:50.000 I think we're ready for the mailbag, my friend.

01:03:52.000 Oh, my.

01:03:53.000 I really do.

01:03:54.000 That is wild.

01:03:55.000 Because I was just thinking that.

01:03:58.000 That's why I have the bumper ready to go.

01:04:02.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.

01:04:06.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

01:04:12.000 Let me touch it.

01:04:13.000 Let me touch it.

01:04:19.000 My computer still has E.J. Dixon on from the opening of the show.

01:04:23.000 Wow.

01:04:23.000 She looks like an old Jewish broad and she's probably 20.

01:04:26.000 An OJB.

01:04:28.000 Good news is she'll aged gracefully because she's already 40.

01:04:31.000 You down with OJB?

01:04:34.000 Old Jewish brads.

01:04:35.000 Some guy was really mad.

01:04:37.000 He said he put $50 into the super chat yesterday and he didn't get his question answered.

01:04:41.000 For fuck.

01:04:42.000 So let's see what his question was.

01:04:44.000 Did he put it into the mailbag?

01:04:48.000 I should have given it a red star.

01:04:50.000 He was basically talking about the...

01:04:52.000 Yeah, here we go.

01:04:54.000 Hey, fag tards, I sent you $50.

01:04:56.000 Now, this, this is called Riddle, by the way.

01:04:59.000 This is...

01:05:01.000 He's putting the dollar sign on the wrong side of the 50.

01:05:04.000 And this is my bad because I let it slip that it's my weakness and it makes me fucking mad as shit.

01:05:12.000 And people think it's funny to make a Scotsman mad.

01:05:16.000 So now every single letter we get has the money on the wrong side.

01:05:20.000 The dollar sign on the wrong side.

01:05:21.000 So you're not mad that they got it wrong because you know it's unintentional, but you're mad because you know they're trying to make you mad.

01:05:28.000 So now you're mad.

01:05:28.000 I'm mad at both.

01:05:29.000 That's the problem with being Scottish.

01:05:30.000 You're constantly angry.

01:05:32.000 And I can't tell if I should be mad at this guy for fucking with me or I should be mad at him for getting the dollar sign.

01:05:38.000 So just both to be safe.

01:05:39.000 Neither are great.

01:05:41.000 Hey, fag tarts, I sent you a $50 super chat and you totally papered over it and went on to spend more time on some fucking yokel who sent you five bucks.

01:05:50.000 You called it a riddle because you were too coked up to stop and think.

01:05:54.000 Okay, Greg?

01:05:56.000 What if you're doing your...

01:05:57.000 This is his question now that I glossed over last night.

01:06:01.000 What if you're doing your 10 years of debauchery and you wind up meeting a girl you can spend the rest of your life with?

01:06:07.000 Should you discard her like the rest?

01:06:09.000 And then he says, are you fucking retarded?

01:06:11.000 Try thinking about it when someone sends you a question that makes you think.

01:06:15.000 Sir, I don't know where you get the idea that your question is complicated, but your question is so retarded that it's hard to figure out.

01:06:23.000 Do you think that I say you need to have 10 years of debauchery?

01:06:29.000 So start getting drunk at 14 and go bananas till you're 24, no matter what happens, even if you meet a young Eva Mendez with a Pulitzer Prize in mathematics?

01:06:40.000 No.

01:06:42.000 I said most party phases these days are going from 14 to like 34 at best, okay?

01:06:49.000 14, 24, that's 20 years of getting shithammered and playing video games and sleeping all weekend.

01:06:58.000 That's ridiculous.

01:07:00.000 I tried to get the maximum down to 10, 14 to 24.

01:07:05.000 Now, if you find the one at 19, as I've said a million times, I've never seen happier people than young Catholics who got married before college and started churning out kids right away.

01:07:18.000 So obviously, if you find the one early before the 10 years, grab her, put a ring on it.

01:07:28.000 The 10 years is a maximum, not a mandatory.

01:07:32.000 Shit, if you find that the miss is right at 14 and a half, go to Texas and get where it's legal and get married.

01:07:39.000 No, I'm just kidding.

01:07:40.000 When's the youngest you can get married in America?

01:07:43.000 With your parents' consent?

01:07:45.000 Let's race Ryan.

01:07:47.000 Youngest married.

01:07:49.000 Good afternoon, guys.

01:07:50.000 America.

01:07:53.000 According to Unchained at Last, youngest girls to marry in 2020 were three Tennessee 10-year-old girls who married men 24, 25.

01:08:02.000 Was that legal, though?

01:08:05.000 With the youngest boy to marry being an 11-year-old who married a 27-year-old woman.

01:08:10.000 Jesus Christ.

01:08:12.000 What states can you marry at 12?

01:08:15.000 One state has a minimum age of 12 years old for females and 14 years old for males.

01:08:21.000 Holy shit.

01:08:24.000 Two states have a minimum age of 14, Alaska and Vermont.

01:08:27.000 Three states have a minimum age of 15.

01:08:31.000 12?

01:08:32.000 Holy shit.

01:08:35.000 12 is a fucking baby.

01:08:38.000 They can't even menstruate, right?

01:08:42.000 Weird.

01:08:44.000 And I was always mad at Mexico for saying the age of consent is 12 when ours is 17, but it looks like it's not.

01:08:50.000 I mean, I assume everyone knows if you get married, you're fucking.

01:08:54.000 That's so fucking funny.

01:08:55.000 So true.

01:09:00.000 Speaking of angry Scottish people, we got a very interesting letter here.

01:09:06.000 Well, we're waiting.

01:09:09.000 Oh, you got some nerve saying that to me.

01:09:12.000 Gavina.

01:09:13.000 Oh, so this isn't for me.

01:09:14.000 This is for that hot chick who did the show last Friday with Ryan.

01:09:19.000 Gavina, so I'll just read it on her behalf.

01:09:22.000 On the last episode of Girl Talk, you said you don't like time waste your phone pranks.

01:09:26.000 Totally agree.

01:09:27.000 You said you like it when they're angry and Scottish, though.

01:09:30.000 I instantly thought of Make Your Dad Mad, an old prank on Glasgow radio, that would have people pulling over on the drive home to laugh safely.

01:09:39.000 I think this will be right up your seat.

01:09:40.000 Now, Ryan, we spoke about this a little earlier.

01:09:42.000 I'd like you to pull up a Scottish fireman background, because this guy is a fireman in Glasgow.

01:09:48.000 And let's hear the tape.

01:09:52.000 Oh, do you have me over here?

01:09:53.000 Shannon did not disappoint me.

01:09:55.000 She came up with a great scenario where she was going to phone her dad, Alex.

01:09:59.000 She said, I would need to come on at some point as a sleazy photographer.

01:10:03.000 Because she's turned up at my studio and I'm taking some photographs of her for Zoo magazine.

01:10:11.000 Yeah.

01:10:11.000 Right.

01:10:12.000 So, how would Alex take that?

01:10:14.000 Because, you know, at the end of the day, she's a model now.

01:10:17.000 Julie would be happy and proud of his daughter.

01:10:21.000 Not really.

01:10:26.000 Hey, I phoned you yesterday.

01:10:29.000 Hi.

01:10:30.000 This guy's getting contacted me.

01:10:31.000 Like, he's seen my photos and Facebook and stuff.

01:10:33.000 And he wants me to, like, do this in a photo shoot.

01:10:36.000 Right.

01:10:37.000 Right, so I'm in the Eastern studio the nose.

01:10:39.000 Hey, what?

01:10:42.000 Well, he works for you.

01:10:43.000 Oh, Zoo?

01:10:44.000 You know that you need any photo shoot for fucking you?

01:10:46.000 I f ⁇ in a new magazine for you, Shannon.

01:10:49.000 Right, I know, but I think it'll be.

01:10:50.000 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, but if I see you, she could tell me you're getting photoshoot for the end of your praise up.

01:10:55.000 Swear to God, you'll never f you for me again, Emily.

01:10:57.000 No, but I think it'll give me some like money, a bit of money for my holiday stuff.

01:11:01.000 Shannon, I don't give two monkeys if it's go money for your mouth.

01:11:06.000 If I see you anything other than a wetsuit and a diver's helmet going in front of your magazine, I'm gonna you know f ⁇ him and all.

01:11:13.000 But I don't need anybody go so funny.

01:11:16.000 Shannon, absolutely.

01:11:17.000 No way, no never.

01:11:19.000 Right?

01:11:19.000 But the guy's here.

01:11:20.000 You're going to fucking no.

01:11:22.000 Alright, then what's the problem, mate?

01:11:24.000 I'll tell you what the problem is, mate.

01:11:25.000 That's my daughter.

01:11:25.000 You've got in that studio, right?

01:11:27.000 I get girls in there all the time, mate.

01:11:29.000 Every girl comes in this studio with somebody's daughter, mate.

01:11:31.000 You want me to talk or no?

01:11:33.000 I'll knock yourself out.

01:11:34.000 I'll knock you out.

01:11:36.000 That's what I'll get.

01:11:36.000 I think you're being a bit aggressive, mate, to be honest with you.

01:11:38.000 I'm talking to you, John.

01:11:41.000 Look, mate, you got what you do with a couple of feathers.

01:11:44.000 I'm your boy.

01:11:44.000 Because it'll be tastefully done.

01:11:46.000 I'll put tassels over them.

01:11:47.000 Reports of Lobby fine.

01:11:49.000 And I'll ram them up, you.

01:11:51.000 Or hey, put my door back on the corner.

01:11:53.000 Bro, I'm out of the sticker on, then you and I can have a chat once she's calmed you down in the.

01:11:57.000 Just kill me, Lego.

01:11:58.000 Kill me where you're looking at.

01:12:00.000 No studio games and stay right there.

01:12:02.000 Stand on it.

01:12:03.000 Get this through your fixed golden head.

01:12:05.000 Hey, let's be able to be a wind up.

01:12:07.000 She's a house.

01:12:08.000 I'm going to kill you.

01:12:11.000 Come on, tell you.

01:12:12.000 It can wait till we pay for me.

01:12:14.000 I know it can leak it.

01:12:15.000 It can leak in me being in jail for a moment.

01:12:18.000 I can't even believe you're phoning me asking us.

01:12:21.000 But I'm going to get...

01:12:24.000 If you're kicking a bikini, I'm going to on you.

01:12:26.000 You have to never be able to wear a bikini again.

01:12:28.000 You haven't seen it.

01:12:29.000 The guy who's going to take my photos around.

01:12:31.000 What about stuff for him?

01:12:32.000 I've got like all you want to stop with me.

01:12:33.000 Shannon, get your fucking road right now.

01:12:36.000 Hold on, here's the guy.

01:12:37.000 Alright, Mike.

01:12:38.000 So is everything cool now?

01:12:39.000 No, nothing's cool, Paul.

01:12:40.000 If I'm any photos taking my daughter, I swear to God, I'm going to come dune there.

01:12:44.000 And you don't even want to begin here.

01:12:46.000 Imagine what I'm going to do to you and anything else.

01:12:48.000 Understand, Mike, but someone's got to play for the film.

01:12:52.000 Phil'em.

01:12:52.000 I don't care.

01:12:53.000 Keep your fucking monkey ducky BBD eyes off my daughter.

01:12:57.000 He's hung up.

01:13:00.000 Wow.

01:13:00.000 That's intense.

01:13:01.000 That's part one.

01:13:02.000 We're not done yet.

01:13:03.000 We're not nearly.

01:13:05.000 You can see that for yourself.

01:13:07.000 What's the link there?

01:13:08.000 Make your dad mad with Alec and Shannon.

01:13:13.000 Make your dad mad, Alec and Shannon.

01:13:15.000 That was Alec, a firefighter.

01:13:17.000 And it gets worse.

01:13:20.000 He gets even angrier.

01:13:21.000 Maybe we should add subtitles to this clip at some point.

01:13:25.000 Did you understand that?

01:13:26.000 Yeah.

01:13:26.000 Oh, good.

01:13:28.000 Murder.

01:13:29.000 I'll fucking murder you.

01:13:31.000 I'm going to be in jail for murder.

01:13:34.000 He says, if she's no, if you're posed in anything but an underwater suit with a diver's tank.

01:13:41.000 Yeah.

01:13:45.000 Um, shit.

01:13:48.000 All right.

01:13:51.000 Oh, this is relevant.

01:13:53.000 Globo Homo desperate to censor Rogan.

01:13:58.000 Daily Mail.

01:13:59.000 Joe Rogan.

01:14:00.000 Oh, yeah, we already discussed that, dude.

01:14:02.000 Thanks for sending me a Daily Mail article of the most popular story in the fucking...

01:14:07.000 Let me stick to red flags here.

01:14:08.000 And it's ironic that the letters that should be read have red flags.

01:14:14.000 I saw this on Reddit today, thought you'd laugh.

01:14:15.000 Chinese people pissed at blacks for some Chinese basketball controversy.

01:14:19.000 And this is how they reacted.

01:14:21.000 Can you imagine if whites did this?

01:14:24.000 We would never hear the end of it.

01:14:27.000 Okay, they're probably yelling like, you jerks, you were not fair in this recent controversy.

01:14:32.000 We think you should reconsider your position.

01:14:34.000 I imagine that's what they're saying, right?

01:14:35.000 Yes.

01:14:36.000 Civil.

01:14:38.000 Nigga!

01:14:39.000 Niger!

01:14:40.000 Niger!

01:14:41.000 Niger!

01:14:42.000 Niger!

01:14:45.000 Nigga!

01:14:46.000 Nigga!

01:14:46.000 Love their basketball.

01:14:51.000 Get out of the China!

01:14:53.000 Nigga!

01:15:00.000 They're having fun.

01:15:02.000 Wow.

01:15:03.000 You know, China's become such an important market with Hollywood that when they do posters and it's a black movie or a movie with a black guy, like say that Will Smith movie where he was a superhero.

01:15:15.000 What was that called?

01:15:16.000 Hancock?

01:15:17.000 If there's a Hancock poster in China, Will Smith would be like in the background and it would be Jason Bateman and the other chick in the front.

01:15:25.000 Because they don't like the black people, the BIPOCs.

01:15:31.000 Hi, Gavin.

01:15:31.000 Rye, I love you guys, so I'm going to be brutally honest with you.

01:15:34.000 Ryan is a burden on the company.

01:15:37.000 And I want him gone.

01:15:39.000 Sorry, bitch.

01:15:41.000 Thank you.

01:15:43.000 Oh, shit.

01:15:45.000 Yeah, you don't have to know what kind of guy he is.

01:15:47.000 He's just a super guy.

01:15:49.000 It's like a made-up guy.

01:15:51.000 It's like a panther.

01:15:55.000 No, they just completely removed the what's his name?

01:15:58.000 Oh, shit.

01:16:00.000 Sure did.

01:16:01.000 Got him out of there.

01:16:02.000 Sorry, Finn.

01:16:03.000 They're not fans.

01:16:05.000 Not a fan of Finn.

01:16:06.000 No, he didn't say that.

01:16:07.000 He said, supporting and taking care of a mantis shrimp in an office will be incredibly challenging.

01:16:12.000 Ooh, it's going to be so hard.

01:16:15.000 Saltwater tanks are notoriously hard to maintain and should only be invested in once you know a lot about saltwater upkeep and aquarium hobbying in general.

01:16:26.000 What the fuck is anyone talking about?

01:16:28.000 We're all going to die.

01:16:30.000 It's like we're buying a nuclear reactor.

01:16:32.000 I don't want to see all your hard-earned money go to waste by blowing thousands on a mantis shrimp tank.

01:16:40.000 Hundreds.

01:16:41.000 If you really want to pursue it, pay someone in New York City that specializes in aquariums to come and give you an estimate.

01:16:48.000 What do they need to see here in the studio?

01:16:50.000 Okay, this is a big, so you have mostly oxygen in here?

01:16:54.000 I think we can go to the aquarium place and go, hi, we have a room.

01:16:57.000 It's 70 degrees and it has normal sunlight.

01:17:04.000 Can we have our shrimp yet?

01:17:05.000 Well, over time, it'll definitely be over 1,000.

01:17:10.000 Yeah, you got a $200 heater.

01:17:11.000 You got the substrate, which costs maybe like $50.

01:17:15.000 Okay.

01:17:16.000 And maybe some hardscaping if you want some coral or some other bullshit in there.

01:17:21.000 That'll be a couple hundred if you want.

01:17:23.000 You have to have real rock so that way it doesn't mess with the pH and it doesn't over time grow shit on it.

01:17:31.000 So you have to have this aquatic aquarium safe rock and such, substrate.

01:17:36.000 Well, Maddie's supply place where he works for the, where he, where his friend has that pizza place, they're right next to an aquarium place in White Plains, I think, called Jaws.

01:17:47.000 See?

01:17:48.000 So I don't know.

01:17:49.000 I gave you a project hoping you could take it on.

01:17:52.000 I think I'm going to have to handle it.

01:17:54.000 You give me that credit card.

01:17:55.000 I'll have a dream tank.

01:17:57.000 Oh, that's what's holding you back?

01:17:59.000 You know that I would happily give my credit card for that.

01:18:03.000 You think I'm going to charge you?

01:18:05.000 No.

01:18:06.000 But since last night and we decided it's a symbol of success that we get this thing, now I'm on board.

01:18:12.000 Now you have my attention.

01:18:14.000 A symbolic shrimp is better than a regular shrimp.

01:18:21.000 Okay, last one.

01:18:22.000 Truth about truck driver given a 110-year sentence.

01:18:25.000 Yo, Gavin, the boys, have you seen the story about the truck driver that caused a massive pileup?

01:18:28.000 Yes, we have.

01:18:30.000 All I've been seeing is headlines about what a horrific injustice it was to sentence this guy to so many years.

01:18:35.000 But only recently have I actually looked into it.

01:18:37.000 The sentence made sense.

01:18:40.000 He goes, we need an AIU breakdown.

01:18:42.000 So it seems this guy lied about his experience with the type of trucks on his application.

01:18:47.000 Then he proceeded to drive like a fucking maniac, triggering 911 calls about his reckless driving.

01:18:54.000 He was speeding excessively that day and slamming on the brakes repeatedly.

01:18:58.000 He blew past the inspection stations and missed a safety lane that would have been able to stop the truck despite the failing brakes.

01:19:06.000 He recklessly caused a mass.

01:19:07.000 Maybe he made the brakes fail by abusing the whole fucking engine repeatedly.

01:19:13.000 He recklessly caused a mass casualty event because he is a lying immigrant.

01:19:17.000 I heard rumors that he was an illegal alien.

01:19:21.000 I fucking hate watching our legal system being corrupted by dipshit celebrities and TikTokers who never care enough to do the bare minimum amount of research.

01:19:30.000 Oh well, Tard's going to Tard.

01:19:32.000 Yeah, that goes back to what we're saying too about remorse.

01:19:36.000 Did he show remorse?

01:19:39.000 I don't fucking care if they show remorse or not.

01:19:43.000 What are the facts of the case?

01:19:45.000 But because this guy cried like a bitch, he got 90% of his case thrown out like the time.

01:19:52.000 It was 110-year sentence.

01:19:54.000 So yeah, about 90%.

01:19:56.000 It was 110-year sentence.

01:19:57.000 It's down to 10.

01:20:00.000 For all the people he killed.

01:20:02.000 And it was not an accident, or I should say it was not a simple accident.

01:20:06.000 It was gross negligence.

01:20:08.000 If you're drunk driving and you run someone over, you're going to jail for involuntary manslaughter.

01:20:14.000 And you're going to do a lot more than 10 years.

01:20:34.000 You'll see the moment the crash actually happens, a giant plume of black smoke in the sky.

01:20:40.000 Now, in the order from the judge canceling tomorrow's hearing, he says they respect the governor's authority to do so, but because of the timing of the decision, doesn't feel the respect is mutual.

01:20:49.000 Here's part of a statement from the governor.

01:20:52.000 That black plume of smoke looked just like the plume of smoke that wasn't there in the Flight 93.

01:21:00.000 Interesting.

01:21:01.000 Interesting.

01:21:01.000 Yeah, let's get into that.

01:21:05.000 All right, let's get to the fucking final video.

01:21:32.000 Some, for some, oh yeah, I was gonna say, for some reason, I think this is a chick because you can hear her voice, moron.

01:21:38.000 This woman has the sprinkles.

01:21:40.000 She knows her audience.

01:21:41.000 She knows how to get what she needs out of them.

01:21:44.000 And it makes for some pretty, pretty, pretty good comedy.

01:21:49.000 Can you shut the fuck up?

01:21:52.000 Wait, we need the very beginning.

01:21:53.000 What did she say that made him say that?

01:21:55.000 Hey, how you doing?

01:21:56.000 Can you shut the fuck up?

01:21:58.000 Hey.

01:21:59.000 How are you?

01:22:01.000 You want to try these donuts down, so?

01:22:02.000 No, beach, I'm on the diet.

01:22:04.000 Hey, how are you?

01:22:05.000 Good, how are you?

01:22:06.000 Doing good.

01:22:06.000 Is that it?

01:22:07.000 Helping how you?

01:22:09.000 Is that it?

01:22:10.000 Is that it?

01:22:11.000 Is that it?

01:22:12.000 That it?

01:22:12.000 You missed Daniel Mann.

01:22:14.000 Would you like a receipt?

01:22:15.000 Yes.

01:22:17.000 Corona said hello.

01:22:19.000 Ma'am, your receipt.

01:22:21.000 I didn't get that one.

01:22:24.000 Corona Town.

01:22:27.000 Daniel Man.

01:22:28.000 Would you like a receipt?

01:22:29.000 Yes.

01:22:33.000 Oh.

01:22:34.000 Ma'am, your receipt.

01:22:35.000 Corona time.

01:22:36.000 And they went, Corona Town.

01:22:39.000 She don't like Corona, apparently.

01:22:42.000 Did you hear that?

01:22:43.000 What is that?

01:22:43.000 Funny town?

01:22:44.000 I don't know.

01:22:45.000 I need to move there.

01:22:47.000 She don't like Corona, apparently.

01:22:49.000 What the?

01:22:50.000 That one segment alone, that should be submitted to the local tourist board.

01:22:55.000 Welcome to...

01:22:56.000 This is like Glasgow levels of funny.

01:22:59.000 If you ain't funny, get the hell out.

01:23:02.000 We're mostly the descendants of Scottish immigrants from Glasgow.

01:23:06.000 Corona town.

01:23:07.000 Oh, she doesn't even like Corona, apparently.

01:23:10.000 She's no big funny old Dorona.

01:23:12.000 I guess you don't need your receipt hen.

01:23:14.000 On you go, on your bike.

01:23:16.000 Whish is off.

01:23:18.000 Oh, you're a week.

01:23:20.000 It's not even touching the ground, man.

01:23:22.000 Remember that one?

01:23:23.000 No?

01:23:24.000 It was an old guy with a fucking, with a walker, and his son's helping him, and he's like not even touching the ground with his walker.

01:23:30.000 He's like, you're not even touching the ground, man.

01:23:32.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:23:33.000 He's got a walker.

01:23:34.000 Yeah, that's been sent to me 900 times.

01:23:36.000 Anything that's remotely viral in Scottish, it fills my inbox.

01:23:39.000 That's the dank machine.

01:23:40.000 Can you guys stop sending us the actual video?

01:23:44.000 What do you mean?

01:23:44.000 Like, you're filling up my computer.

01:23:46.000 I thought you'd like this 81 megabyte video.

01:23:49.000 It's really good.

01:23:50.000 I don't like it anymore.

01:23:51.000 Send me the fucking link.

01:23:53.000 Dink Wad.

01:23:54.000 Yeah, fucking dink a link a link.

01:23:56.000 You my mom?

01:23:57.000 This one too.

01:24:00.000 That's now a bunk machine.

01:24:02.000 It's not a bunk machine.

01:24:03.000 It's a fence.

01:24:06.000 Alright, so us.

01:24:08.000 Oh, you're right.

01:24:10.000 Ma'am, your receipt.

01:24:12.000 She'll lack her own, apparently.

01:24:14.000 $195.

01:24:16.000 You can insert it there.

01:24:19.000 Excuse me, y'all.

01:24:20.000 I just ran out of gas and I ain't got no money.

01:24:23.000 Paul, give a fuck.

01:24:26.000 You like these?

01:24:27.000 I really don't like them.

01:24:28.000 I really don't give a fuck what you like.

01:24:30.000 How much are they?

01:24:33.000 It's hot.

01:24:34.000 Make go back, go back.

01:24:36.000 You like these?

01:24:36.000 I don't really like them.

01:24:39.000 Excuse me, y'all.

01:24:40.000 I just ran out of gas and I ain't got no money.

01:24:43.000 Paul, give a fuck.

01:24:46.000 You like these?

01:24:47.000 I really don't like them.

01:24:48.000 I really don't give a fuck what you like.

01:24:49.000 How much are they?

01:24:52.000 It's hot outside today, aunt.

01:24:54.000 How much is the fucking chips?

01:24:56.000 Getting some food for your dog?

01:24:59.000 What the hell you think I'm getting it for, my fucking zebra?

01:25:04.000 Hey, how you doing?

01:25:05.000 Can you?

01:25:06.000 That's it.

01:25:06.000 Should we watch this just because we mentioned it?

01:25:08.000 Sure, but I need to go to that bodega and set up a lawn chair.

01:25:12.000 Yeah.

01:25:16.000 You're sticks even touching the gunman.

01:25:20.000 You're sticks even touching the grainman.

01:25:24.000 All right, folks.

01:25:25.000 Have a fun weekend.

01:25:26.000 Try to stay off your phone as much as possible.

01:25:28.000 Spend time with your loved ones.

01:25:29.000 If you are going to drink, please follow the downer acronym.

01:25:35.000 Don't cock block.

01:25:37.000 Only 13 hours.

01:25:38.000 Water a plenty.

01:25:40.000 Never after three.

01:25:42.000 Eat your meals.

01:25:43.000 Regulate your bumps.

01:25:46.000 Get fired.

01:25:46.000 Get in trouble.

01:25:48.000 Be brave.

01:25:49.000 And never stop fighting.

01:26:03.000 And yes, next week we're touching the gun fun.

01:26:20.000 Touching the gun fun.

01:26:24.000 My friends feel like the bin of source of who we are.

01:26:31.000 Do we ourselves anything much faster than light?

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - January 14, 2022

S04E75 - THEY MAKE GREAT PETS

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