Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - January 17, 2022


S04E76 - GUIDE TO THE WORLD


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 26 minutes

Words per Minute

162.64166

Word Count

14,017

Sentence Count

1,650

Misogynist Sentences

56

Hate Speech Sentences

100


Summary

In this episode of Out of Your Element, the boys talk about their favorite songs from the 80s and 90s, the worst case scenario involving a midget and a razor blade, and the weirdest thing they've ever done.


Transcript

00:00:46.000 Is that your kind of shit there, dude?
00:00:48.000 No, funny enough, is that I don't like this song.
00:00:51.000 Like, I listened to it at the gym the other day, and I liked that.
00:00:54.000 I saw, I heard that it was very, like, not woke.
00:00:57.000 Yeah, it's called Zombieland.
00:00:59.000 It's about how we're all turning into zombies with all this cancel culture.
00:01:02.000 Right.
00:01:03.000 Yeah, you know, and like the message is cool, but no, it didn't hit the mark for me.
00:01:08.000 I hate emo is the short version of it.
00:01:10.000 Yeah, like Screamo shit.
00:01:11.000 But did you see the censored over his mouth?
00:01:13.000 I wonder if that's a little nod.
00:01:16.000 No.
00:01:17.000 It was like the same font.
00:01:18.000 It was very similar, man.
00:01:20.000 I don't know.
00:01:21.000 Let's see.
00:01:22.000 I was around when Emo began.
00:01:24.000 It's late DC hardcore.
00:01:26.000 It was Dag Nasty's first album.
00:01:29.000 Now that it's like Mexicans with bangs and skinny jeans that are sagging, I don't know.
00:01:36.000 I can't get into it.
00:01:37.000 Sorry.
00:01:38.000 I don't think I should.
00:01:39.000 I'm 51.
00:01:40.000 I don't even think they want me.
00:01:41.000 Oh, go back.
00:01:42.000 Dude, that's a good one.
00:01:42.000 That was a pretty similar font.
00:01:44.000 Yeah.
00:01:46.000 Dude, I don't know.
00:01:47.000 That looks very close.
00:01:50.000 I mean, look at it at the top right.
00:01:52.000 Yeah.
00:01:52.000 The kerning is a little, the tracking is a little messed.
00:01:54.000 That's a good screen grab for this episode.
00:01:57.000 Today is the Out of Your Element episode.
00:02:00.000 I played a song I'm not really privy to.
00:02:03.000 I'm dressed in a weird way.
00:02:06.000 Isn't this like your dad?
00:02:07.000 Well, you don't have a dad.
00:02:08.000 Your shirt's amazing.
00:02:09.000 Like, I love that shirt.
00:02:11.000 The solid time, eh?
00:02:13.000 Yeah, a little bit.
00:02:14.000 I don't know how I feel about it.
00:02:15.000 I feel like it's a weird, like, 80s dad.
00:02:17.000 It looks brand new.
00:02:19.000 I look like the guy who negotiated the deal for Motley Crew.
00:02:22.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:02:23.000 You guys are getting fucked.
00:02:25.000 Okay?
00:02:26.000 It's about your publishing.
00:02:28.000 It's not about live.
00:02:29.000 It's not about record sales.
00:02:30.000 It's about publishing.
00:02:31.000 Let me handle it.
00:02:32.000 Nikki, I'll give you more of your publishing than you ever thought possible.
00:02:38.000 We can do 90s.
00:02:40.000 We can get up in the 90s.
00:02:41.000 Fuck this record label.
00:02:42.000 I'm about to rape them.
00:02:43.000 I do a lot of rape metaphors when I'm doing my meetings.
00:02:48.000 And one of the reasons I'm sort of out of my element and I want to be uncomfortable today is I have a hemorrhoid that could be in the Guinness Book of World Records.
00:02:56.000 It's so fat, it's a grapefruit.
00:02:57.000 Now it's flat.
00:02:58.000 I just felt it like right before the show because I was applying Prep H, which I'm going to go back to the drugstore and say, I don't want this.
00:03:04.000 I want this stuff, the illegal shit.
00:03:07.000 Like, is there an alleyway?
00:03:08.000 I want stuff they have in Russia.
00:03:12.000 It's either the best case scenario is a large black man has his thumb up my ass.
00:03:17.000 That's good.
00:03:18.000 Worst case scenario is a midget with an attitude, MWA, has a razor blade and he's slitting at my anus.
00:03:28.000 Terrible.
00:03:29.000 That's the worst case.
00:03:30.000 And it's going vacillating.
00:03:32.000 Sometimes, like maybe 10 seconds an hour, I don't feel anything.
00:03:36.000 And I was thinking about it all weekend.
00:03:38.000 I'm like, I use a Biffy, biffy.com, free sponsorship here.
00:03:43.000 I've been using it for 20 years.
00:03:45.000 Sprays freezing cold water from the tank onto your anal lips.
00:03:48.000 You don't even need toilet paper.
00:03:50.000 I use a squatty potty.
00:03:53.000 I haven't been drinking that much recently.
00:03:55.000 Been eating okay.
00:03:58.000 And I thought and thought and thought.
00:04:00.000 And then I was like, my fucking trainer blew my ass out.
00:04:04.000 Pardon?
00:04:06.000 Hector.
00:04:07.000 He blew my ass out.
00:04:10.000 He fucked me in the ass.
00:04:11.000 Speaking of rape metaphors, he fucked me in the ass.
00:04:15.000 Literally-ish.
00:04:16.000 Literally-esque.
00:04:20.000 Yes, of course they are.
00:04:22.000 So here's what I think was the clincher.
00:04:26.000 It was two 20-pound weights, and I'd have to stand like this, and then crouch down and go, and he said, squeeze everything when you're down here.
00:04:34.000 Right.
00:04:35.000 So I think it's actually for legs.
00:04:39.000 I think that's what fucking did it.
00:04:42.000 And you know what it occurred to me?
00:04:44.000 I had a little gummy last night.
00:04:46.000 And about three in the morning, I just went, I woke up.
00:04:53.000 And I went, it's fucking those crunchy things, whatever they're called, squat squeezes.
00:05:00.000 Yeah.
00:05:01.000 That bitch has gotten, her ass is just the sarlacc.
00:05:05.000 She hasn't had anal since 1996 when she was six.
00:05:12.000 And she was like, I'll never do that again.
00:05:14.000 You know what else happened with the gummy sleeps?
00:05:17.000 I came up with like a heavy quote, and I don't think this is bad.
00:05:22.000 Like the old thing, I dreamt, how many people want money?
00:05:25.000 And then the answer was eight.
00:05:26.000 And I thought that was the smartest, funniest thing that's ever been said, which it is not.
00:05:30.000 But this is pretty good.
00:05:31.000 You ready?
00:05:32.000 Yeah.
00:05:33.000 The earth gave me ashes, so I sought out the moon.
00:05:38.000 Wow.
00:05:39.000 Yeah.
00:05:39.000 That sounds like some shit I would write in high school.
00:05:41.000 I love it.
00:05:42.000 It's an album.
00:05:43.000 It's like a t-shirt.
00:05:44.000 It's beautiful.
00:05:46.000 It means like I wasn't getting anything out of life.
00:05:49.000 You grew up poor or whatever, or you were getting abused or ignored.
00:05:52.000 Or like Elon Musk could say it.
00:05:55.000 You know?
00:05:55.000 Yeah.
00:05:56.000 And then I thought I shot for great.
00:05:58.000 You come from a small town.
00:05:59.000 They don't appreciate you.
00:06:00.000 So you move and you start a business or something.
00:06:04.000 The earth gave me ashes, so I turned towards the moon?
00:06:07.000 No, Ryan, you can make your own shitty saying.
00:06:11.000 What was it again?
00:06:12.000 I forgot.
00:06:12.000 I'm going to Google it in case it's parallel thinking.
00:06:16.000 The earth gave me ashes, so I sought out the moon.
00:06:19.000 Turned towards?
00:06:21.000 So I sought out.
00:06:23.000 Gadgets suck.
00:06:26.000 Also in the news, remember last week we played Beefeater?
00:06:29.000 So I sort of went on this hardcore bender and I was listening to Beefeater and all this old hardcore.
00:06:39.000 And I kind of regretted playing just one thing from Beefeater because they have so much variety.
00:06:42.000 I'm really enjoying the album the way I did when I was a teenager, where you just sit without your phone or anything, because you didn't have phones, and you just enjoy the music.
00:06:52.000 So I set up a new stereo system in the house, reorganized all the records, and I'm fucking listening to Beefeater.
00:06:58.000 Both their albums are now on one on Spotify.
00:07:01.000 And I go, I'm going to look up that dude, Frank, the guitarist.
00:07:06.000 He was weird.
00:07:06.000 They used to call him Black Lemmy.
00:07:08.000 He's a gay guy.
00:07:10.000 And let me just play.
00:07:13.000 First, let me just play one of the tracks.
00:07:16.000 Pull up the picture of Dougie Bird, the bassist for Beefeater.
00:07:20.000 This guy could literally be in a freak show.
00:07:24.000 Look at those fucking ears.
00:07:28.000 Yeah, he looks like a bad guy in like a Roger Rabbit movie or something.
00:07:32.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:07:33.000 He looks like a light bulb in a freak show.
00:07:37.000 And kudos to him for not growing his hair out or having those done.
00:07:41.000 He looks like the light bulb that pops up when a retard has an idea.
00:07:47.000 Like, wow, dude, you're not vain.
00:07:48.000 You owned those ears.
00:07:50.000 I appreciate you.
00:07:52.000 But Frank, the guy from Beefeater, sort of taught him to do slappy bass.
00:07:56.000 And he's making fun of him in this track.
00:07:59.000 It's track 13.
00:08:00.000 No, it's track 19 on link 13.
00:08:05.000 By the way, Brian, help me set up my laptop to go to appear on the screen.
00:08:10.000 How do we do that?
00:08:12.000 Hold on one second.
00:08:13.000 Okay, you have to download a thing, and then you're good.
00:08:16.000 Oh, it's done.
00:08:17.000 That's the problem, man.
00:08:18.000 I can jerk out, freak out.
00:08:19.000 I can pin my ears forward, you know?
00:08:22.000 Wear those Doc Holiday goggles or whatever the hell you call them.
00:08:25.000 And I can sit there and go.
00:08:27.000 You know?
00:08:28.000 I can imitate Doug Great.
00:08:30.000 Okay, okay.
00:08:33.000 I tried, you know?
00:08:34.000 Okay, you're in.
00:08:35.000 Okay, but I can do it?
00:08:38.000 Gotta get some glasses.
00:08:39.000 Yeah.
00:08:40.000 Get the glasses.
00:08:41.000 I don't know about the ears, but I think I put a piece of telephone wire down my forehead to imitate the vein.
00:08:46.000 Doug blows up on stage.
00:08:48.000 Oh, yeah, it's great, isn't it?
00:08:50.000 Okay, now I'll just break it to him smooth, man.
00:08:52.000 I'll say, okay, big mic's in.
00:08:54.000 What you gonna do about it?
00:08:55.000 Yeah, that's all you've got to do, man.
00:09:01.000 That's some slappy bass.
00:09:06.000 Anyway, he's a funny dude, right?
00:09:09.000 I don't know about the ears, but I'll get a telephone wire across my forehead to imitate the vein.
00:09:15.000 They say, all right, is his name Big Mike or Fred?
00:09:18.000 I don't know his name.
00:09:19.000 Anyway, I look him up.
00:09:21.000 He's fucking deed.
00:09:23.000 He went crazy.
00:09:24.000 Creative motherfucker.
00:09:25.000 Of course, NPR has to make it all about his race.
00:09:28.000 This guy's race, well, he was called Black Lemmy, but this guy's race wasn't a thing.
00:09:35.000 He was the, you know what was unique about him?
00:09:37.000 He was a metal head.
00:09:39.000 He was a metal dude who was in the DC hardcore scene.
00:09:42.000 That's what defined him.
00:09:43.000 Not his fucking race.
00:09:44.000 You heard him just talking.
00:09:46.000 There's nothing black about him.
00:09:48.000 The mysterious death of a DC punk and the $10,000 reward.
00:09:51.000 He changed his name to freak.
00:09:53.000 One word, freak.
00:09:55.000 And he chose to live on the streets.
00:09:58.000 And he was a gay man.
00:10:00.000 So we know what happened there, right?
00:10:02.000 He's getting into mess, getting into drugs.
00:10:05.000 He hooked up with the wrong dude.
00:10:08.000 The guy felt bad that he just fucked a man up the butt and he killed him to make the gay go away.
00:10:13.000 That is my theory.
00:10:15.000 But he's gone.
00:10:16.000 Dead.
00:10:18.000 Hold it.
00:10:18.000 Go back to that thing.
00:10:19.000 Because there's a new documentary about this punk woman, Polly Styrene, who used to sing for X-Ray Specs.
00:10:24.000 You know that?
00:10:25.000 Now, Bond Edge, up yoes.
00:10:29.000 She's Somalian, as I've learned in my very old age.
00:10:32.000 But when we were kids in the late 70s, that doesn't count.
00:10:36.000 Early 80s, I should say, when I was a teen, when you thought of Polly Styrene, no one for one second thought about the fact that she's half Somalian or Ethiopian or whatever the fuck she is.
00:10:48.000 It didn't occur to anyone.
00:10:51.000 Like, the way the world is now with all this racial identity politics, you see that and you go, oh, look, there's a woman of color singing in a predominantly white scene.
00:11:02.000 No one fucking thought that.
00:11:03.000 It would be like doing a thing on The Clash and talking about Mick Jones as the only Jew in the clash and Jewish influence on punk rock.
00:11:12.000 Joey Ramon was Jewish too.
00:11:14.000 Let's talk about it.
00:11:14.000 Blah, blah, blah.
00:11:15.000 It's the new Jewish angle.
00:11:16.000 Jews invented punk.
00:11:18.000 Like this rewriting of history where you have to inject identity politics into everything.
00:11:22.000 It's so tedious.
00:11:23.000 Now, I haven't seen this doc.
00:11:24.000 It's not out yet.
00:11:25.000 But I guarantee you, it's going to be all about her color.
00:11:29.000 BIPOC.
00:11:30.000 Black, indigenous, person of color.
00:11:31.000 But go to the first paragraph of that.
00:11:36.000 Whoa.
00:11:37.000 Whoa.
00:11:39.000 It was just another sad story.
00:11:40.000 A homeless man in his mid-50s found stabbed to death in a park.
00:11:43.000 His body a pool of blood.
00:11:44.000 Took several days to identify him as Frederick Smith.
00:11:46.000 So he was Fred.
00:11:48.000 A magician known as Freak.
00:11:50.000 The punk scene Smith died.
00:11:51.000 Blah, blah, blah.
00:11:52.000 Okay, so we haven't done race yet.
00:11:55.000 Death's Being True to Homicide, which is also an unclear beloved activist, Fred Freak Smith.
00:12:00.000 Fred didn't fit in the world, says Ian Mackay.
00:12:04.000 He lived the way he wanted to live.
00:12:05.000 Mackay's earliest memories of Smith.
00:12:07.000 Oh, here we go.
00:12:09.000 Mackay's earliest memories of Smith are seeing him out at shows where he was a distinctive figure, a boisterous African-American man.
00:12:16.000 Imagine still saying African-American in 2022.
00:12:20.000 Let me just make something clear.
00:12:22.000 If you say African-American, you don't know any black people.
00:12:28.000 That's what it means, too.
00:12:29.000 That's what the word has come to mean to me.
00:12:30.000 It means I admire them, I love them, but they're not in my world, and I don't really know what to call them.
00:12:37.000 With a look more commonly associated with heavy metal than with punk at the time.
00:12:40.000 Anyway, it's a very important story to me, but I understand if you don't give a shit.
00:12:45.000 Today's MLK Day.
00:12:46.000 We shouldn't be working here.
00:12:47.000 It's racist.
00:12:48.000 Oh, man.
00:12:49.000 I considered wearing blackface.
00:12:51.000 So in a way, that was our homage to MLK to not wear blackface.
00:12:57.000 I feel like I'm helping.
00:12:58.000 We had a whole thing planned, and then once we found out, we canceled it.
00:13:02.000 Yeah, it's like when I gave you that check for $387 and then you owed me $100, and I said, you're up $287.
00:13:09.000 Yes.
00:13:10.000 Even though I was just paying you back for money you spent on the studio.
00:13:13.000 True.
00:13:14.000 Same thing.
00:13:15.000 We were going to do blackface.
00:13:16.000 We didn't do it because it's MLK.
00:13:19.000 So you're welcome.
00:13:21.000 We contributed to equality today.
00:13:25.000 Right?
00:13:26.000 I have a dream.
00:13:28.000 Did you have any dreams last night?
00:13:30.000 This would be a good time.
00:13:31.000 I said the earth gave me ashes.
00:13:33.000 And then in my dream, I kept telling everyone why I have hemorrhoids and showing them the move I was doing.
00:13:40.000 I couldn't wait to tell people.
00:13:42.000 No, I think this is a consequential day because this was the end of racism.
00:13:46.000 His assassination, 1969.
00:13:48.000 The FBI is putting up all these shit, all these little memes.
00:13:52.000 Thank God for Martin Luther King.
00:13:54.000 Dude, you were up his ass.
00:13:55.000 You were spying on him.
00:13:57.000 You don't get to say, oh, Martin Luther King.
00:14:00.000 You mean the guy you had on a terrorist watch list?
00:14:02.000 No.
00:14:03.000 You cannot say, God bless Martin Luther King when you...
00:14:07.000 I think they tried to assassinate him, too.
00:14:10.000 Oh, there's the garbage.
00:14:12.000 Yeah, they didn't just say, they didn't just say, we have to monitor this guy.
00:14:18.000 I think they may have tried to kill him.
00:14:19.000 Maybe they did kill him.
00:14:20.000 Who knows?
00:14:21.000 But as far as I'm concerned, this is a controversial belief.
00:14:25.000 Racism died in 1969.
00:14:28.000 That was when America said, all right, we liked Martin Luther King.
00:14:30.000 We didn't care about race until you killed him.
00:14:34.000 And then we said, fuck this.
00:14:36.000 We're getting involved.
00:14:37.000 And from 1970 on, it was cool to be black.
00:14:40.000 And we did everything we could to incorporate African Americans into American mainstream culture.
00:14:47.000 Now, you want to talk about Jim Crow.
00:14:49.000 Obviously, slavery is bad.
00:14:50.000 But that's all justified.
00:14:52.000 But as Maddie Odell points out, if you're born after 1970, shut the fuck up.
00:14:58.000 And unfortunately, I would say around the time of Ferguson, Americans went, you know what?
00:15:04.000 White Americans, actually all non-black Americans, Lebanese, Asians, they said, you know what?
00:15:10.000 We kissed your ass for half a century and apologized.
00:15:13.000 It didn't work.
00:15:14.000 You seem to get more angry, so we're done.
00:15:17.000 You can have Chicago and Baltimore and New York City.
00:15:21.000 We're moving, and it's up to you.
00:15:23.000 We already gave you Philadelphia.
00:15:25.000 You've made a fucking shithole over them all.
00:15:28.000 But that's what this day means to me.
00:15:32.000 This was the day that racism ended.
00:15:35.000 Oh, yeah?
00:15:36.000 And then they just list a bunch of bad shit that happens to black people as if it's proof that racism still exists.
00:15:41.000 No.
00:15:42.000 Just because someone's incarcerated disproportionately doesn't mean that you're living in a racist society.
00:15:47.000 Just because blacks are poor doesn't mean that I made them poor.
00:15:51.000 It's time for some culpability.
00:15:53.000 Speaking of nigger faggots, Ethan Klein on an old episode made it clear that he loved saying that.
00:16:01.000 Okay, so first of all, when we first invited Jordan, I will talk about politics right now.
00:16:06.000 So that was the old Ethan Klein.
00:16:08.000 He would say rude words, and it was a controversial, edgy comedian.
00:16:13.000 He's sort of like that, what's his name?
00:16:16.000 The indie rock critic with the big glasses who's bald.
00:16:22.000 Fantano.
00:16:23.000 Fantano.
00:16:24.000 Sort of like Fantano in that he was the edgy, troll, funny guy.
00:16:27.000 And then he decided, I'm going to get woke.
00:16:29.000 And everything woke turns to shit.
00:16:31.000 So his listenership has plummeted.
00:16:35.000 It's down to almost as low as mine.
00:16:39.000 And he's desperately trying to fix things.
00:16:42.000 So that involves deleting his Jordan Peterson podcast.
00:16:45.000 This is ancient news by now.
00:16:46.000 This was all last week.
00:16:48.000 And so Jordan Peterson retaliated and he said, look, dude, you cancel me.
00:16:52.000 Now you're part of the cancel world.
00:16:53.000 And they will hold you to standards you can't possibly attain.
00:16:56.000 Then you're going to be next.
00:16:58.000 And he is next now.
00:16:59.000 People are pulling up the N-word, F-word rants that he would do and exposing him for his hypocrisy.
00:17:05.000 He's pretending that he never knew who Jordan Peterson was, which is obviously a lie.
00:17:11.000 It's all out there.
00:17:12.000 You can see him saying, we got Jordan Peterson back.
00:17:14.000 He's a lot of fun.
00:17:15.000 Here he is, folks.
00:17:18.000 Okay, so first of all, when we first invited Jordan, I wasn't super familiar with him.
00:17:24.000 I just saw kind of the phenomenon around him.
00:17:28.000 And he is a doctor.
00:17:29.000 He's a psychologist of some renown.
00:17:33.000 And I was like, well, you know, I'd seen him on other shows.
00:17:38.000 And I thought, and then someone was like, hey, you should have this guy on.
00:17:42.000 And I was like, okay, you know, I was inviting everyone on at the time.
00:17:46.000 And so he was on, and we didn't talk about politics or anything.
00:17:49.000 We talked about like psychology and shit like that.
00:17:51.000 So I found it really interesting.
00:17:53.000 Just, you know, now it's canceled.
00:17:55.000 I thought the conversation was great.
00:17:56.000 It was a really interesting conversation.
00:17:58.000 So now he's canceled.
00:17:59.000 By the way, just stop.
00:18:00.000 Fuck off, Ethan.
00:18:02.000 The deal breaker, I think he's trying to kiss Hassan Piker's ass.
00:18:05.000 He's got a weird sort of a gay admiration for him.
00:18:08.000 I think he sees him as an alpha male.
00:18:10.000 It's a problem in the Jewish community, too, when they're around alphas.
00:18:13.000 They emulate them.
00:18:15.000 Like Henry Winkler playing the Fons.
00:18:17.000 What's his name playing Boner and Sean Anna?
00:18:20.000 Andrew Dice Clay playing a tough Italian guy.
00:18:23.000 Joey Ramon playing a tough Italian guy.
00:18:26.000 I don't quite get it, but Ethan seems to be doing that with Hassan Piker.
00:18:31.000 And I'm sure he's getting his accolades from Hassan, but it's not translating to ears because we're sick of that shit, moron.
00:18:40.000 What'd you think?
00:18:41.000 And then he doubles down and he starts attacking Jordan for having a messy room, saying, you think you owned me, but your room looks like shit.
00:18:49.000 It's like, yeah, his world was falling apart at the time.
00:18:53.000 I'm sorry he wasn't as tidy as he could have been.
00:18:56.000 I mean, attacking Jordan Peterson really shows how far left we've gone.
00:19:01.000 He's a fucking liberal.
00:19:03.000 The only thing right-wing about him is he doesn't love the idea of infinite pronouns, which no one did five years ago.
00:19:11.000 And the fact that all these lefties are Xing people because they don't support the government really shows who they are.
00:19:18.000 They're cunts.
00:19:19.000 They're pussies.
00:19:21.000 They're weak.
00:19:22.000 They're betas.
00:19:23.000 They want to be led.
00:19:24.000 They're sheep.
00:19:26.000 And what do sheep do when they're confronted with wolves?
00:19:30.000 They say, go get him, kill him.
00:19:32.000 He's a danger to the rest of us.
00:19:34.000 I mean, what could be less interesting than going with the government's hysteria over COVID after two years of this shit and everything they say being bullshit?
00:19:52.000 Which brings us to the synagogue situation.
00:19:56.000 Over the weekend, a British man randomly chose a building to hold some people hostage because he has a sister who's incarcerated.
00:20:10.000 Sound reasonable, Ryan?
00:20:11.000 Okay, so far so good, right?
00:20:12.000 It's just a British guy.
00:20:14.000 I don't know how he got in here.
00:20:15.000 Maybe he's here on a visa or he's just working here.
00:20:17.000 A British man has a sister in prison.
00:20:19.000 He randomly just threw a dart at a map, ended up at a building, and said, oi, I want my sister out of jail and everything.
00:20:26.000 What are you doing then?
00:20:27.000 What are you mucking about?
00:20:29.000 Sir, that's a rabbi.
00:20:30.000 What's a Rebbe?
00:20:31.000 A Rebbe?
00:20:33.000 Was this a fucking Geico commercial?
00:20:37.000 And that's what the media told us.
00:20:39.000 Go to 1.5.
00:20:40.000 Actually, no, they did better than that.
00:20:42.000 Initially, initially, before we found out it was a British person, we had people on Twitter telling us what it was.
00:20:48.000 And if you go up above that, so this guy, I smoke Trump's seditious conspiracy.
00:20:55.000 This black activist named Black Knight 10K said that it was Nazis.
00:21:00.000 And then people go, it wasn't a Nazi, it was a British guy.
00:21:03.000 So now he's pissed off at them because they're white supremacists.
00:21:06.000 And he says, please stop demanding that I apologize to the Nazis, thinking they would attack a synagogue after they've attacked a number of synagogues.
00:21:13.000 Have they really, though?
00:21:15.000 I think there's been like three globally.
00:21:18.000 There's Philadelphia, there's another one, then there was New Zealand, Christchurch.
00:21:22.000 And Proud Boys were not behind those.
00:21:24.000 Correct, Ryan.
00:21:25.000 Were they Nazis, though?
00:21:27.000 Because the one guy was...
00:21:28.000 Christchurch was a Nazi.
00:21:30.000 But he also espoused leftist ideology, too.
00:21:33.000 Oh, really?
00:21:33.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:21:34.000 Yeah, it's never as simple as just Nazi.
00:21:38.000 So this is the British man.
00:21:40.000 Hello.
00:21:41.000 Hello.
00:21:41.000 Hello, hello, hello.
00:21:43.000 He looks like an upside-down beef eater.
00:21:44.000 What are you doing?
00:21:45.000 He looks like one of those drawings that are, yeah, you can flip upside down.
00:21:48.000 It looks the same both ways.
00:21:50.000 Hello.
00:21:51.000 Fancy, you want to grab a pint?
00:21:54.000 A fancy cup of tea?
00:21:55.000 What time is it?
00:21:56.000 Oh, fuck, it's five o'clock.
00:21:57.000 It's time for tea.
00:21:59.000 Then we'll go around the pub after tea.
00:22:02.000 Agreed?
00:22:03.000 All right, geez.
00:22:04.000 I don't muck about.
00:22:05.000 What are you doing?
00:22:06.000 Sound?
00:22:06.000 Sound as a pound.
00:22:08.000 Hello, hello, hello.
00:22:09.000 I believe his name is Andai and his friend Withnail.
00:22:13.000 This is the Andai.
00:22:15.000 So that guy says it was a Nazi.
00:22:16.000 And then another fat dude, incel loser who's never even seen a tit in real life, he uses an anime.
00:22:23.000 That's the initial picture he had up there.
00:22:25.000 An anime icon.
00:22:28.000 There's few things that make me more skeeved out than big fat gamers with female Asian avatars.
00:22:36.000 Ich.
00:22:37.000 I personally believe it was the Proud Boys.
00:22:41.000 I personally believe the Proud Boys staged the whole thing and posed as Islamic terrorists in order to start a war and distract from January 6th investigation.
00:22:48.000 I am betting we'll see a lot more of this.
00:22:50.000 Great theory that you came up with sitting on your ass.
00:22:53.000 I don't know what she's talking about or he's talking about Islam for.
00:22:56.000 It was a man with a British accent, as we learned from Yahoo.
00:22:59.000 They made it very clear.
00:23:00.000 Synagogue hostage-taking suspect was British.
00:23:05.000 Thanks, Grayson.
00:23:07.000 Or even gun and survival.
00:23:09.000 You'd think they'd be pretty right-wing and not scared of bigotry.
00:23:13.000 But they wanted us to know that a quote-unquote terrorist had a British.
00:23:20.000 Dude, they've changed that.
00:23:22.000 That didn't used to say that.
00:23:24.000 God damn it, I hate the fucking internet.
00:23:26.000 These articles become amorphous blobs.
00:23:30.000 And I know this because whenever I would get, like, I remember this woman, Amanda Marcott, she called me a Nazi.
00:23:35.000 And I spent a bunch of money on a lawyer, which I'm doing again now.
00:23:37.000 I'm back to law fair.
00:23:38.000 I'm suing that, what was it, Stanford for that stupid study that said Prowboys are responsible for two deaths and premeditated violence?
00:23:47.000 I sent her a lawyer letter today.
00:23:49.000 Elizabeth Yates is her name.
00:23:52.000 These people have to start suffering consequences for their made-up bullshit, although it's expensive.
00:23:57.000 But yeah, with Amanda, I spent all this money, thousands of dollars, change that, change that, change that.
00:24:02.000 Eventually you get through to them, and it just becomes money for them.
00:24:06.000 Like they don't actually care about the truth.
00:24:08.000 So eventually they just change it, and the sentence is gone.
00:24:10.000 There's no written update, and 98% of the people who read the article read it in the first, you know, half hour it's up.
00:24:17.000 So two, three days later, the Nazi's gone.
00:24:21.000 In the finest print possible, it does say updated.
00:24:24.000 Oh, there we go.
00:24:25.000 A little tiny update.
00:24:28.000 Cool.
00:24:28.000 And then there's, let's see if the Guardian has updated theirs.
00:24:31.000 They were concerned about an English accent.
00:24:33.000 Texas Synagogue Siege hostage taker named as 44-year-old Briton.
00:24:38.000 Hello.
00:24:39.000 I'm willing to start starting to hate these British people.
00:24:41.000 Why are they so anti-Semitic?
00:24:44.000 And then, of course, the Telegraph is happy to.
00:24:48.000 Man with English accent.
00:24:49.000 Holds.
00:24:50.000 Are you seeing a pattern here?
00:24:52.000 It's England.
00:24:53.000 By the way, was he Welsh or Scottish?
00:24:55.000 That's the first time I've seen England.
00:24:57.000 Usually they say British.
00:24:59.000 Of course, we know that Great Britain is four provinces, right?
00:25:04.000 It's Northern Ireland, it's Wales, it's Scotland and England.
00:25:08.000 Very different cultures.
00:25:11.000 And then this AP, they deleted this one.
00:25:14.000 The FBI says the Texas synagogue hostage takers demands were specifically focused on issue not connected to the Jewish community.
00:25:23.000 Just a random issue.
00:25:26.000 He just chose a synagogue.
00:25:27.000 I don't know.
00:25:28.000 It could have been Walmart.
00:25:29.000 It could have been Costco.
00:25:30.000 It's just a British guy with an axe to grind.
00:25:34.000 Holy fuck.
00:25:35.000 I saw another tweet where they go, the real problem here is that people, not Muslims, people are being taught that Jews control the world.
00:25:43.000 Because one thing this British man did was he demanded they talk to a rabbi in New York.
00:25:49.000 Like the New York Jews would be able to get her out better than the Texas Jews because the New York Jews have more power and Jews control the world, according to this British man's thing.
00:26:00.000 And so the Jewish guy tweeting was like, we need to stop these bullshit myths because people are starting to believe that Jews control the world.
00:26:07.000 And that's the problem with these anti-Semitic tropes.
00:26:12.000 And no.
00:26:13.000 The problem is that the hostage taker is an inbred Pakistani retard.
00:26:20.000 Holy shit.
00:26:23.000 Yep.
00:26:23.000 It's not the trope that's the issue.
00:26:26.000 It's the genetics of the hostage taker and his cunt sister, Miss Lady Al-Qaeda, I think they call her, who shot at Marines and had a plot to kill innocent Americans and wouldn't shut up about Jews her entire trial.
00:26:42.000 When she was arrested, she said, this decision doesn't come from America.
00:26:46.000 It comes from Israel.
00:26:48.000 Textbook definition, Nazi.
00:26:49.000 You got there.
00:26:50.000 You're looking for anti-Semitism?
00:26:52.000 It's there.
00:26:53.000 It's growing.
00:26:54.000 It's alive and well, as they say about racism in Islam.
00:26:59.000 And I think I know why.
00:27:01.000 I don't like that.
00:27:02.000 I want it to be Gavin McInnes.
00:27:04.000 I like that kind of Nazi.
00:27:05.000 I don't like Muslim Nazis.
00:27:08.000 Okay.
00:27:10.000 Well, they're there.
00:27:12.000 And this dummy is probably the result of inbreeding.
00:27:16.000 Not that Islam's off the hook here.
00:27:19.000 I'm just saying to say that it's anti-Semitic tropes is trying to bring it back to MAGA and like conservatives and alleged Nazis.
00:27:26.000 No.
00:27:27.000 This is pure Islam.
00:27:29.000 From his low IQ and his disastrous decisions right up to the anti-Semitism, all of it, the jail, the belief that I can get these hostages out of there.
00:27:42.000 I mean, sorry, get my prisoner out of jail.
00:27:43.000 That's worked before, remember?
00:27:45.000 In the Olympics when they kidnapped those Filipinos and the Filipina government, Filipino government said, yeah, yeah, release all the jiadis, release them, release them.
00:27:54.000 Which is what weak countries do.
00:27:58.000 But no, we just can't handle it when it's not a white guy doing the bad stuff.
00:28:03.000 And this story, it happened on the weekend.
00:28:05.000 It's Monday today.
00:28:06.000 It'll be gone.
00:28:07.000 It'll be gone by today.
00:28:08.000 I guarantee you, you won't see shit about the story tomorrow.
00:28:11.000 Guaranteed.
00:28:13.000 Including Jewish newspapers.
00:28:16.000 I bet the Forward is totally ignoring this.
00:28:18.000 Horetz is totally going to ignore this.
00:28:21.000 That was too much of indecence.
00:28:23.000 It's just like the car.
00:28:25.000 Remember the car that plowed through a parade?
00:28:28.000 Fucking cars.
00:28:30.000 So, my takeaway, that's two or zero.
00:28:33.000 My takeaway from this, five dead after car, I officially hate cars and British people because they're murderers.
00:28:44.000 I dream of a world without cars or British people.
00:28:49.000 Oh, wait, no, actually, it was a Muslim.
00:28:51.000 So, of course, the New York Post is one of the only places to admit this.
00:28:55.000 The New York Post is known as a right-wing magazine, magazine, newspaper, and it's just basic liberal, like they call proud boys white supremacists all the time.
00:29:05.000 U.S. Muslim leader calls on community to confront anti-Semitism problem.
00:29:10.000 He's probably his life's in danger for saying that, I guarantee it.
00:29:13.000 And I'd love to see this not just from Muslims, but from black leaders too.
00:29:16.000 Like, we've got to stop rioting.
00:29:18.000 I'm looking at these people stealing UPS packages off trains.
00:29:22.000 We're turning into the third world.
00:29:25.000 That used to be a thing in the 90s.
00:29:27.000 Yo, we need to check ourselves before we wreck ourselves.
00:29:30.000 Stop the violence.
00:29:31.000 KRS1 and even Chuck D would scream.
00:29:35.000 We got to be proud Africans.
00:29:37.000 Stop this.
00:29:38.000 We got to check ourselves before we wreck ourselves.
00:29:41.000 Not anymore.
00:29:42.000 Now it's all Gavin's fault.
00:29:48.000 And then here's an interview with a rabbi.
00:29:50.000 Can I say something super gay and weak?
00:29:54.000 If I was the rabbi and I was being held hostage, my fear, one of my fears would be, what if I get so scared I faint?
00:30:03.000 Like someone's holding a gun to your head.
00:30:05.000 He talks about he hears the click and you want to help.
00:30:09.000 You're basically the leader as the rabbi.
00:30:11.000 You're the captain of the ship.
00:30:12.000 So you want to help everyone get out of there.
00:30:14.000 We all want to think we'd be Rambo in that situation.
00:30:17.000 Grab the gun, turn around, be a total hero.
00:30:20.000 Yes.
00:30:21.000 You don't need to plan for that.
00:30:23.000 You don't need to plan to win.
00:30:24.000 You need to plan to lose.
00:30:27.000 And part of me would be scared of just being such a pussy that, I don't know, my heart starts pounding so fast I faint.
00:30:35.000 I mean, I've seen guys in the gym sparring, not even real fights, but sparring, and they have a panic attack mid-fight and have to stop because they can't breathe.
00:30:45.000 That's sparring where you have headgear on, you know you'll be safe.
00:30:48.000 But, you know, the brain works in mysterious ways.
00:30:51.000 You get fight or flight.
00:30:52.000 And what if you just go...
00:30:56.000 That might even be good.
00:30:58.000 The hostage taker might.
00:30:59.000 The British guy might freak out.
00:31:02.000 This interview is super boring.
00:31:04.000 New details.
00:31:05.000 I don't know.
00:31:05.000 Sorry, the guy's not excited.
00:31:15.000 I am grateful that we made it out.
00:31:17.000 I'm grateful to be alive.
00:31:18.000 We feel the same, Rabbi.
00:31:20.000 CBS News has learned that the rabbi...
00:31:23.000 Let's count the number of times we hear the word Muslim and his jihadist sister, Lady Al-Qaeda.
00:31:30.000 She doesn't have to be called Lady Al-Qaeda.
00:31:32.000 You can name her name.
00:31:34.000 So far they're mentioning the Jewish part.
00:31:36.000 They called him rabbi.
00:31:37.000 So it's not like they're just excluding Rabbi.
00:31:40.000 Yeah, well, it's pretty hard to avoid when it's at a synagogue.
00:31:42.000 Yeah.
00:31:43.000 But what AP said was they just chose a synagogue.
00:31:47.000 Could have been anywhere.
00:31:49.000 Oh, this is a synagogue?
00:31:52.000 I had no idea.
00:31:54.000 I thought it was a Catholic church.
00:31:56.000 Spoke with President Biden yesterday.
00:31:58.000 He joins us for an interview you're seeing first on CBS mornings.
00:32:02.000 Rabbi, good morning to you.
00:32:03.000 We are so glad you're safe and able to be with us.
00:32:06.000 You have no idea how happy we are to see you this morning.
00:32:08.000 Can you help me blame this on white supremacy, please?
00:32:15.000 I saw interviews with some of your congregation over the weekend that said it was terrifying just watching it.
00:32:20.000 I can't imagine what it was like for you and your fellow hostages to be there.
00:32:26.000 Well, it was terrifying.
00:32:28.000 It was overwhelming.
00:32:31.000 And we're still processing.
00:32:34.000 It's been a lot.
00:32:36.000 It's completely overwhelming.
00:32:39.000 Now, you know, I saw interviews with law enforcement officials who were crediting you with being so calm and collected during this time.
00:32:46.000 How were you able to stay calm when you're dealing with someone who doesn't appear to mind dying?
00:32:54.000 Let's just stop.
00:32:55.000 Wouldn't it be awesome if she mentioned that in jihad, you're a martyr if you die fighting jihad and you go to heaven with all the virgins and all that?
00:33:04.000 I mean, Buchanan talks about that in the Death of the West.
00:33:06.000 He says, the problem with fighting jihadists, for us to see a soldier die is a loss.
00:33:12.000 And when we see the coffins come back off the airplane hangers with the American flags on them, it breaks our heart.
00:33:17.000 For them, that's a win.
00:33:22.000 I mean, you can't play a video game with someone like that.
00:33:24.000 You can't do anything with someone like that.
00:33:26.000 You have different values.
00:33:28.000 Nope.
00:33:30.000 I guess you do what you have to do.
00:33:33.000 As a part of rabbinic training, as a part of training as clergy, we talk a lot about the idea of being a calm, non-anxious presence.
00:33:43.000 We do that in hospital rooms.
00:33:45.000 We do that during the most.
00:33:48.000 Anyway, this interview is in very slow motion.
00:33:51.000 It's not worth sitting through.
00:33:52.000 But our heart goes out to that guy, and we wish they would identify the enemies, which sort of brings us to Proud Boys.
00:33:58.000 Are you done the new Proud Boys interstitial yet?
00:34:00.000 No, very close.
00:34:01.000 Okay.
00:34:04.000 It's funny how Proud Boys are in prison.
00:34:06.000 Max and John are in prison because they are part of a bigoted hate gang, and they're anti-Muslim.
00:34:12.000 They're Islamophobes.
00:34:14.000 And they don't support BLM and they support the police.
00:34:19.000 We can't have that.
00:34:20.000 We need to defund the police.
00:34:22.000 Black crime is not a thing.
00:34:24.000 And you're racist if you think it is.
00:34:26.000 And Black Lives Matter is working hard to both trivialize black crime and defund the police.
00:34:32.000 We should support that.
00:34:34.000 And what kind of asshole is an Islamophobe?
00:34:36.000 And you go, okay, I'm glad you put the Prowd Boys in prison.
00:34:38.000 And it's not just Max and John.
00:34:41.000 Let's go through those three things.
00:34:42.000 We just had hostages at the synagogue by a Muslim who wanted to free a Muslim terrorist.
00:34:48.000 And black crime is going through the fucking roof.
00:34:53.000 And the police can't do anything about it because in the case of the trains in L.A., we've got a Soros-appointed DA who refuses to let law enforcement do their job.
00:35:03.000 And here in New York, it's the same thing.
00:35:05.000 I mean, we're told we've got Eric Adams, Mr. Law and Order.
00:35:07.000 He's the same as de Blasio.
00:35:09.000 And we have some mental patient who threw an Asian woman in front of the train because he's God.
00:35:16.000 But sorry, to go back to the hostage thing, where the fuck was the FBI?
00:35:22.000 You're so worried about grandma.
00:35:24.000 Go to 2-3.
00:35:24.000 This is Donald Trump Jr.'s take on it.
00:35:27.000 You're so worried about grandma meandering.
00:35:29.000 Don't worry, guys.
00:35:30.000 Our intelligence and federal law enforcement may be too busy to monitor foreign Islamic extremists.
00:35:34.000 But rest assured, if your grandmother took a selfie somewhere within 1,500 miles of D.C. on J-6, they're watching her closely if she hasn't been arrested already.
00:35:43.000 Could do a slightly better grammar there, DTJ, but breaking the FBI says the demands were specifically focused on issues not connected to the Jewish community.
00:35:52.000 That's not true, AP.
00:35:55.000 This jihadist, 100% of her sentencing was totally focused on Judaism.
00:36:00.000 She blamed Israel for her sentence.
00:36:03.000 So she's not just a random Islamic terrorist.
00:36:06.000 She is an Islamic terrorist particularly focused on anti-Semitism.
00:36:11.000 Oh, good.
00:36:11.000 I was worried that Islamic extremist terrorists may have targeted a synagogue on purpose.
00:36:15.000 It's so easy to mock at this point, you know?
00:36:18.000 They are the clowns.
00:36:19.000 They're the volunteer clowns.
00:36:20.000 Just briefly go back up to, what was it?
00:36:24.000 Did I put it in here?
00:36:28.000 That clown thing.
00:36:29.000 Did I put that in there?
00:36:31.000 Beef feeder hemorrhoids, Ethan Klein.
00:36:33.000 Yeah, go to 14B.
00:36:36.000 They've become so easy to mock now that we just agree with them.
00:36:40.000 Oh, you're a fucking clown.
00:36:42.000 Your pronouns are clown.
00:36:44.000 I agree.
00:36:45.000 We're good.
00:36:48.000 And Clown mentioned not having...
00:36:51.000 This is Cypress.
00:36:53.000 And Clown mentioned not having people use clown or clown self pronouns for clown.
00:36:58.000 And so in this situation, I would make sure that I exclusively use clown pronouns to talk about Cypress.
00:37:04.000 So Cypress knows that I see clown self for who clown is.
00:37:10.000 And I want clown to be hearing those pronouns more than the other ones out of my mouth.
00:37:18.000 Okay.
00:37:21.000 Yes, you're right.
00:37:22.000 Clown self should be using the pronouns clowns, and you should be using the pronouns useless fag.
00:37:28.000 Anyway, back to the meandering.
00:37:32.000 Not the meandering, but the synagogue thing.
00:37:33.000 I was reminded of Pamela Geller.
00:37:36.000 She did an art contest also in Texas.
00:37:40.000 And it was the Muhammad cartoons.
00:37:43.000 The contest was to draw Muhammad.
00:37:46.000 Now, the way it was portrayed in the media as it was just made to antagonize Islam, and I'm sure that was a factor, but it was actually pretty good.
00:37:54.000 And it was really about free speech.
00:37:56.000 Free speech is useless if there are exceptions.
00:37:59.000 And one of the exceptions in the West is you can't fuck with Muhammad.
00:38:02.000 Why?
00:38:03.000 Because it makes Muslims mad.
00:38:05.000 That's the only reason.
00:38:07.000 And I think we could take a page out of this book.
00:38:09.000 This concept of you can't mess with people who get mad.
00:38:15.000 That's the only reason you, like that whole like listen to black woman talk, a black woman is speaking, shut up.
00:38:20.000 You know what that comes from?
00:38:21.000 Because black women are the loudest when they get fucked with.
00:38:24.000 That's why we tiptoe around Islam because they get super mad when you don't.
00:38:29.000 Okay, we need to get super mad when we're fucked with.
00:38:32.000 And they take down our statues and they tell us that our history is racist and the 1619 Project.
00:38:37.000 The only reason the 1619 Project thrived is because Westerners led it.
00:38:43.000 Anyway, Pamela Geller did this competition and she had really good art.
00:38:48.000 And some jihadists showed up to kill her.
00:38:52.000 Luckily, she had good security and the guards, security guards, shot them dead.
00:38:57.000 But the story's not done.
00:38:59.000 There was FBI agents there who had been following these extremists.
00:39:04.000 And if it wasn't for Pamela's own personal security, she'd be dead, and the FBI would be sitting in the parking lot watching.
00:39:12.000 That's the way I remember it.
00:39:13.000 Do you recall that?
00:39:15.000 Well, you don't recall anything, but that's the modern FBI.
00:39:20.000 Totally aware of a situation about to happen, but too bureaucratic to do anything about it.
00:39:25.000 Unless, of course, it's MAGA, and then they're happy to send their entire force down there.
00:39:33.000 And then the other thing that we warned you about defunding the police.
00:39:38.000 We backed the blue.
00:39:39.000 You told us to fuck off.
00:39:40.000 You said it was racist.
00:39:41.000 And 2-4, here's what we have now.
00:39:43.000 A man claiming to be God.
00:39:45.000 Throwing a beautiful 40-year-old woman.
00:39:48.000 Melissa Alyssa Goh, 40.
00:39:52.000 I think Asians are finally figuring out that patriots and people who are against BLM and Antifa are not actually racists.
00:40:00.000 And they're the only ones willing to save America from itself.
00:40:05.000 And you're seeing Chinese Americans.
00:40:07.000 A lot of districts in New York are going red.
00:40:13.000 Because they don't see anything happening to crime, especially with this fucking clown.
00:40:18.000 What's his name again?
00:40:19.000 Go back?
00:40:19.000 Eric Adams?
00:40:20.000 No, no, asshole.
00:40:21.000 I would never forget Eric Adams.
00:40:24.000 This guy, the DA, Alvin Bragg, the rich kid from Harlem who pretends he's from a hard-scramble background and ignores, doesn't just ignore crime, deletes it.
00:40:35.000 Erases details from charges.
00:40:37.000 Did you know Eric Adams is like a badass guy with swagger?
00:40:41.000 Oh, yeah.
00:40:42.000 He said that.
00:40:42.000 He says a mayor has, a city, if a city's going to have to have, if a city's going to have swagger, the mayor has to have swagger.
00:40:49.000 Yeah, SNO pointed it out pretty good.
00:40:51.000 Did you see that?
00:40:52.000 No.
00:40:53.000 And he's got swagger.
00:40:54.000 You don't want to do that.
00:40:56.000 And excuse me, but this man, he is not Bill DeBlanc.
00:40:59.000 No, ain't that weak.
00:41:00.000 No, he will kick your ass.
00:41:02.000 Oh, my God.
00:41:04.000 Okay, now she is joking, but she's from the Bronx, so is she?
00:41:11.000 Okay, questions?
00:41:12.000 Let's start with the squirrel up front.
00:41:14.000 Go ahead, squirrel.
00:41:16.000 Me?
00:41:18.000 Okay.
00:41:19.000 Mr. Mayor, you said you in...
00:41:22.000 Let's get him looking all cool.
00:41:23.000 In 22 years, I trust my brother.
00:41:27.000 We got a lot of secrets together.
00:41:29.000 Bad, too.
00:41:31.000 Plus, y'all forget JFK appointed his brother.
00:41:34.000 Why?
00:41:34.000 Because the man had swagger.
00:41:37.000 I could be your JFK, New York, and I'm out here looking for my man in the road.
00:41:41.000 Shout out to somebody.
00:41:42.000 How did you know this existed?
00:41:43.000 See how he's so cool?
00:41:44.000 Well, because they were poking fun of Biden, so I saw that, but not really.
00:41:49.000 I think New York Post was like, this is a New York-centric episode, right?
00:41:55.000 And so I checked out the Eric Adams thing.
00:41:58.000 And, you know, he is really like a cool guy.
00:42:01.000 And like, if you look at him here, this is him just being all swaggered, not nervous.
00:42:05.000 There you go.
00:42:06.000 Not weird.
00:42:07.000 Hands not shaking.
00:42:08.000 First of all, a couple of things in here.
00:42:11.000 A blanket with your boo.
00:42:13.000 If you go to Times Square and you want to wrap up with your boo, you could do it with your blanket.
00:42:20.000 Cool.
00:42:20.000 I'll take this, Matthew.
00:42:23.000 I have a t-shirt for you.
00:42:24.000 This is my theme.
00:42:26.000 GSD.
00:42:28.000 I'm going to say get stuff done for you, but there's another meaning with the S. Oh, he be cussing.
00:42:34.000 He be cussing.
00:42:35.000 He calls me to almost say shit.
00:42:36.000 Yep.
00:42:37.000 What a badass.
00:42:39.000 And check this out.
00:42:40.000 One of my best gifts, as you know, marijuana is legal.
00:42:43.000 Marjuana.
00:42:44.000 I have raw.
00:42:44.000 I did not know.
00:42:45.000 I have raw shaky hand McGillicutti.
00:42:49.000 I have bamboo.
00:42:50.000 Oh.
00:42:51.000 You know.
00:42:52.000 It's a dork.
00:42:52.000 Promoting weed.
00:42:53.000 He's a whole fucking loser.
00:42:55.000 He's a nerd.
00:42:56.000 And that's supposed to be weed.
00:42:58.000 No.
00:43:01.000 Look at that.
00:43:02.000 Even Colbert's like, this fucking sucks.
00:43:05.000 What else you got?
00:43:07.000 Is there a button where you can just make him go through the floor?
00:43:10.000 Like Dr. E. Yeah, great.
00:43:14.000 Doctor.
00:43:14.000 The tickets to Broadway shows.
00:43:16.000 Shut up, Eric.
00:43:17.000 God damn it.
00:43:18.000 Maybe worse than de Blasio.
00:43:20.000 But I'm very badly burned.
00:43:23.000 Not because he's black.
00:43:24.000 That's from Austin Powers.
00:43:25.000 So let's see a life with no Curtis Liwa, no Proud Boys, no police, radical leftists roaming free.
00:43:31.000 Let's see how it is for Asians.
00:43:36.000 2-6.
00:43:37.000 This is what they're going through.
00:43:43.000 Coming up.
00:43:44.000 Get ready, folks.
00:43:46.000 Drum roll.
00:43:46.000 Here we have it.
00:43:48.000 Korean-American woman spit on, called a carrier on a train.
00:43:51.000 See, and this is what I hate when people go, stop, stop.
00:43:54.000 It's the COVID misinformation that are making people think that Koreans are carriers.
00:43:59.000 Stop listening to the lunatic and trying to imbue some sort of a lesson from his rant.
00:44:06.000 He's just a criminal, and he's been set free because we don't enforce the law in New York City anymore.
00:44:13.000 So what happens when criminals can roam free?
00:44:16.000 They attack the weakest prey.
00:44:17.000 And that's a pretty young Asian girl.
00:44:20.000 You punch me, I'm going to punch you back.
00:44:21.000 Spit on her, she's going to say, don't do that.
00:44:23.000 Maybe film it.
00:44:24.000 Go ahead, film it.
00:44:26.000 Go ahead, bring him to the police.
00:44:28.000 What are they going to do?
00:44:29.000 He'll be out literally in an hour.
00:44:32.000 I don't know.
00:44:33.000 Were you supposed to fix this box, by the way?
00:44:36.000 Yeah.
00:44:37.000 What happened with that?
00:44:39.000 I prioritized the bumper.
00:44:41.000 We got to fix that box.
00:44:42.000 You forgot.
00:44:43.000 This guy, he's only doing this because Trump said that China brought virus.
00:44:48.000 He's listening to the Proud Boys.
00:44:50.000 You could tell.
00:44:50.000 He's a proud boy in disguise.
00:44:54.000 He's a blessing in disguise, yo.
00:44:57.000 Check this out.
00:44:58.000 Right here.
00:44:59.000 Frank, listen.
00:45:00.000 Social media.
00:45:01.000 Social media.
00:45:02.000 Can you take this as well?
00:45:02.000 No, listen.
00:45:03.000 You don't need nobody else, Frank.
00:45:05.000 Listen.
00:45:05.000 You need her?
00:45:06.000 You need her to prove to you that you a bum?
00:45:08.000 No.
00:45:09.000 You a fucking bum.
00:45:10.000 I ask you to stop.
00:45:11.000 Everybody on this train is watching you.
00:45:13.000 I'm asking you to be polite.
00:45:14.000 Stop.
00:45:15.000 Don't touch me.
00:45:16.000 Don't you?
00:45:16.000 Look at the weakness on the train.
00:45:20.000 Isn't there one Irishman on that entire train?
00:45:25.000 Just say sit the fuck down.
00:45:27.000 That guy must be 65 years old.
00:45:32.000 Fuck you.
00:45:33.000 Shuck my dick.
00:45:34.000 Shuck my dick.
00:45:35.000 I have other dicks.
00:45:37.000 You don't buckler.
00:45:38.000 You motherfucker.
00:45:39.000 Fuck you.
00:45:40.000 You miserable fucking piece of shit.
00:45:43.000 Miserable fucking piece of shit.
00:45:46.000 You turn it up.
00:45:46.000 I'm bringing them all in to protect me.
00:45:50.000 I said no.
00:45:52.000 I said no.
00:45:54.000 Okay, you tell him to sit down.
00:45:55.000 He doesn't sit down.
00:45:56.000 You grab him and you throw him on the ground.
00:45:58.000 You say fucking stay there.
00:45:59.000 And then you take her and you go through the door and you start walking back through the other trains.
00:46:04.000 That's what one should do.
00:46:06.000 But check out how the second he spits, instead of people going, okay, that's too far, the first thing they do is leave.
00:46:12.000 Now, I get it, the little illegal Mexicans are going to leave, but there's no native New Yorkers there?
00:46:18.000 Watch this.
00:46:21.000 I said no.
00:46:22.000 No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:46:23.000 That's not okay.
00:46:24.000 That is not okay.
00:46:25.000 I don't want germs.
00:46:26.000 Look, they all leave.
00:46:30.000 Grow some fucking balls, New York.
00:46:35.000 Go back to 2.5.
00:46:38.000 Chinese Americans are waking up and they're not falling for this Proud Boys bullshit.
00:46:46.000 Proud Boys are probably getting huge Asian American support due to BLM Antifa fears.
00:46:50.000 I don't like that fears.
00:46:51.000 They're being spooked into giving Proud Boys money.
00:46:54.000 No, they're giving money to the only group that seems to give a shit about any of this.
00:46:58.000 That's what's going on.
00:47:00.000 And by the way, if you look up this article on Google about four other news sources like Yahoo and NPR and stuff, they say Chinese Americans, now they don't want Proud Boys to look non-racist, so they have to throw Chinese Americans under the bus and they say, donate to Proud Boys shortly before,
00:47:16.000 or it wasn't shortly before, I think it was months before, they go before January 6th.
00:47:22.000 The implication being random Chinese billionaires, maybe communists, are funding the January 6th insurrection.
00:47:33.000 Fuck you.
00:47:40.000 I was going to do this green screen.
00:47:42.000 Yeah, let's do it.
00:47:43.000 Screen screen o'clock.
00:47:44.000 Okey-toki.
00:48:05.000 Good morning, everybody.
00:48:09.000 All right, let's take some time out to get educated.
00:48:13.000 Some maps.
00:48:14.000 Let's do some maps.
00:48:16.000 I was on a Christmas call with my family, and my wife pointed out that my daughter got a really good mark in geology.
00:48:22.000 And one of my relatives goes, oh, that's great.
00:48:25.000 He's clearly stoned.
00:48:26.000 He goes, that's great, man.
00:48:28.000 If you love geology, so what kind of places do you want to visit?
00:48:32.000 What kind of countries are you excited by?
00:48:35.000 That's geography.
00:48:36.000 She said geology.
00:48:37.000 Anyway, most metal bands are in Northern Europe.
00:48:41.000 I think we knew that, right?
00:48:42.000 Look at the total lack of metal bands in America.
00:48:47.000 It's as yellow as Australia.
00:48:49.000 Maybe metal's dead.
00:48:50.000 And judging by that rap song we had last week where not the guitarist for Exodus, but the guitarist for Testament, or maybe I got those backwards, was doing a rap song about COVID.
00:49:03.000 So if that doesn't denote the end of metal, nothing does.
00:49:07.000 What's next?
00:49:08.000 More fun maps coming up.
00:49:09.000 Let's get fun.
00:49:10.000 So this is most popular sports in the world.
00:49:14.000 Hockey is, of course, huge in Canada.
00:49:17.000 Although we've got it over here.
00:49:19.000 What's that?
00:49:19.000 Like Finland or some shit, Norway?
00:49:22.000 And I thought baseball would be bigger in America, but you've got like barely any in New York.
00:49:30.000 And then a smattering around, where's that?
00:49:33.000 South Carolina and Missouri.
00:49:37.000 I guess they have Kansas cities there.
00:49:40.000 Kansas itself.
00:49:42.000 And then California.
00:49:45.000 And Arizona.
00:49:48.000 Oh, weird.
00:49:49.000 Baseball's big down here?
00:49:52.000 What's that?
00:49:52.000 Brazil?
00:49:53.000 Argentina?
00:49:55.000 That's Chile.
00:49:56.000 That's Brazil.
00:49:57.000 What is that shithole?
00:49:59.000 And then, of course, Dominican Republic and all that.
00:50:03.000 And then everywhere else is soccer, although they call it football here.
00:50:06.000 Why is that?
00:50:07.000 Because when the English miners were out ransacking the world, I don't consider it ransacking, but you get the idea, on their breaks, they'd play soccer.
00:50:15.000 And the locals would see them playing this game, this cheap, affordable, portable game, and it caught on.
00:50:22.000 So the reason you have soccer so huge here, here, here, and of course, not Europe, but all of these places is British miners would be playing it on their breaks.
00:50:35.000 The reason you have it so big in Russia is because it's cheap.
00:50:39.000 They don't have shit.
00:50:40.000 Losers.
00:50:42.000 Next.
00:50:43.000 What's this one now?
00:50:45.000 Fertility rates.
00:50:47.000 Fertility rates across the world.
00:50:49.000 Look at that.
00:50:50.000 We should be very concerned about this.
00:50:52.000 Two to three children.
00:50:53.000 Two to three children is just stasis.
00:50:55.000 But you know what they don't tell you about two to three children here is they're all Mexicans.
00:51:00.000 They're all immigrants.
00:51:01.000 If you were to take immigration out of America, the population would be going brrrrrr, which I thought was good, according to Bill Gates and Thanos.
00:51:09.000 Russians aren't breeding.
00:51:11.000 Basically, white people are not breeding.
00:51:13.000 And all the breeders seem to be in, that's Africa, right?
00:51:16.000 Yeah.
00:51:17.000 They all seem to be in Africa.
00:51:19.000 Look at this setup.
00:51:20.000 Dreesh.
00:51:22.000 Next.
00:51:23.000 Aren't we learning here together?
00:51:26.000 UFO sightings.
00:51:27.000 This map's dumb.
00:51:28.000 Of course, it's just population density.
00:51:30.000 The more people there are, the more you're going to see people saying they saw a UFO.
00:51:34.000 Boring.
00:51:34.000 I don't believe in UFOs, by the way.
00:51:38.000 This one's boring.
00:51:40.000 Biggest name brands and various things.
00:51:42.000 Drunk driving.
00:51:44.000 Most common food stops for drunk drivers.
00:51:48.000 McDonald's.
00:51:51.000 A lot of McDonald's drunk drivers here.
00:51:52.000 Waffle House down here.
00:51:54.000 Where's that now?
00:51:55.000 That's Georgia, South Carolina, Alabama.
00:51:57.000 The Southerners like their fucking Waffle House.
00:52:00.000 And then we have Taco Bell everywhere.
00:52:04.000 Look at all that Taco Bell.
00:52:06.000 It's not even particularly Mexican areas.
00:52:09.000 And Ryan, they have permission from their wives to go to Taco Bell.
00:52:13.000 I now do also.
00:52:14.000 Whoa!
00:52:16.000 Yes.
00:52:17.000 Look at you.
00:52:18.000 That's right.
00:52:19.000 Standing up for yourself.
00:52:21.000 You heard it here, folks, first, folks.
00:52:23.000 Ryan's allowed to go to Taco Bell now.
00:52:26.000 That's correct.
00:52:27.000 Nice.
00:52:28.000 What else can we learn about Earth and America?
00:52:31.000 What's this one?
00:52:33.000 This one is...
00:52:34.000 Winning systems of the world?
00:52:36.000 Different alphabets.
00:52:38.000 Oh, look at these.
00:52:38.000 I wish I had better eyes.
00:52:40.000 Because look how shit some of these are.
00:52:43.000 Look at that fucking...
00:52:44.000 Look at that crap.
00:52:46.000 Cherokee, no one uses Cherokee.
00:52:51.000 Some of these languages, though, look at this scribble.
00:52:54.000 And this.
00:52:55.000 And this.
00:52:56.000 I think Ethiopian is the dumbest language in the world.
00:53:00.000 But as I've said before, you need a paintbrush for all of these.
00:53:04.000 And then this one is the dumbest one.
00:53:06.000 You draw each thing.
00:53:08.000 What's the word for man on a boat?
00:53:10.000 Oh, you draw a boat and you draw a little guy on it.
00:53:12.000 Oh.
00:53:13.000 So if your language has 300,000 words, you have 300,000 symbols?
00:53:17.000 Yeah, basically.
00:53:18.000 Japanese isn't so bad, I guess.
00:53:21.000 Korean's good because they rewrote it from scratch.
00:53:24.000 And then there's all this dumb.
00:53:26.000 Look how primitive everyone else is with their dumb scribbly cave languages.
00:53:32.000 Fucking losers.
00:53:33.000 The West is the best.
00:53:35.000 Keep going.
00:53:38.000 My butthole is going through a painful phase right now.
00:53:40.000 What's this one?
00:53:41.000 Countries that have McDonald's.
00:53:43.000 Countries that have McDonald's.
00:53:44.000 Okay.
00:53:45.000 Good to know.
00:53:46.000 Africa is not big on McDonald's, unfortunately.
00:53:49.000 But everywhere else is.
00:53:51.000 Besides, what are those middle places?
00:53:53.000 Oh, I don't have the world map.
00:53:54.000 What's this one?
00:53:55.000 I got the world map.
00:53:58.000 No, I don't know what those countries are.
00:54:02.000 The Middle East?
00:54:04.000 Oh, I guess it's seen as Western.
00:54:07.000 Okay, that's enough.
00:54:08.000 I want to get to happiness.
00:54:13.000 Auto-save project?
00:54:14.000 Okay.
00:54:15.000 Happens time to time.
00:54:17.000 This is...
00:54:20.000 Oh.
00:54:20.000 That's McDonald's.
00:54:22.000 Okay.
00:54:22.000 Okay.
00:54:23.000 Isn't it?
00:54:23.000 This is happiness.
00:54:25.000 No, it's not.
00:54:26.000 Emotional tendencies.
00:54:28.000 Okay.
00:54:29.000 So less emotional, 36.
00:54:32.000 What the fuck does this mean?
00:54:34.000 More emotional.
00:54:35.000 So we're very emotional here.
00:54:37.000 And this is funny because that's what China always says about us.
00:54:40.000 They go, Americans are sentimental morons.
00:54:42.000 They're always crying about shit.
00:54:44.000 And then these people, everyone who cared about anything is dead.
00:54:47.000 So they're all just bored with worlds.
00:54:49.000 I'm actually surprised that China has so much emotion.
00:54:54.000 India sort of gives a shit, but we all care.
00:54:59.000 The West cares.
00:55:01.000 The East doesn't have emotions.
00:55:03.000 And Africa doesn't count.
00:55:07.000 Okay.
00:55:08.000 Now we have Dog State versus Cat.
00:55:13.000 Okay.
00:55:15.000 United States.
00:55:16.000 Don't care.
00:55:18.000 What food does your state hate?
00:55:20.000 I care.
00:55:21.000 What does New York hate?
00:55:24.000 That's New York there.
00:55:25.000 Ranch on pizza, untrue?
00:55:27.000 I love ranch on pizza.
00:55:28.000 Oh, it's untrue because you like it?
00:55:30.000 Yep.
00:55:31.000 All right.
00:55:32.000 That's not correct.
00:55:34.000 Pesto is big there?
00:55:35.000 Where the fuck is that?
00:55:37.000 Ohio.
00:55:37.000 They love pesto.
00:55:38.000 They hate pesto.
00:55:39.000 Oh, they hate pesto.
00:55:40.000 Right, right, right.
00:55:41.000 Cottage cheese.
00:55:42.000 What do they hate in the south?
00:55:44.000 Chipotle?
00:55:45.000 Tuna salad?
00:55:46.000 They hate licorice in Florida.
00:55:50.000 I like that in Texas.
00:55:52.000 They hate veggie burgers and steak cooked too well.
00:55:55.000 Don't fuck with me.
00:55:56.000 Well done.
00:55:56.000 Overcooked.
00:55:57.000 They hate Chick-fil-A in California.
00:55:59.000 That's got to be a political thing.
00:56:01.000 They hate fast food in Oregon.
00:56:04.000 Pumpkin spice anything.
00:56:06.000 Dim sum is impopular in Idaho.
00:56:09.000 Unpopular.
00:56:11.000 And then they fucking hate shellfish in Kansas.
00:56:17.000 What the fuck?
00:56:18.000 Tapas.
00:56:19.000 Tapas annoys me.
00:56:20.000 I agree with you, North Dakota.
00:56:22.000 It's like, yeah.
00:56:23.000 Little snacks when you're drinking.
00:56:26.000 I don't know why.
00:56:27.000 It would be like someone, if I was fucking my wife and someone just came over and sort of smoothed my butt cheek with a hand.
00:56:33.000 Like, I'm sure that feels nice, but get out of here.
00:56:35.000 I don't want that.
00:56:39.000 And what's the Alaska one?
00:56:40.000 Voss Water?
00:56:41.000 Is that Rich Voss's own water company?
00:56:43.000 Yeah, it keeps you hydrated.
00:56:47.000 Next.
00:56:50.000 Most commonly spoken languages other than English or Spanish.
00:56:52.000 This kind of inspired this whole green screen because people don't realize how German America was.
00:57:00.000 It got to a point there in the initial days of this country where they weren't sure whether we should make English or German the national language.
00:57:09.000 Before World War II, everyone loved Germany.
00:57:11.000 Look at all this.
00:57:12.000 Look at all this fucking Gen. There's plenty of towns in the Midwest where they speak it in the main language.
00:57:22.000 You'll see German signs everywhere.
00:57:24.000 What the fuck is that?
00:57:25.000 There's an enclave of Germans in Texas that still speak German.
00:57:31.000 And they are, you know, they held on to the roots together.
00:57:34.000 I don't know if they have a weird accent.
00:57:35.000 Like, Quebecois is a weird 400-year-old French.
00:57:44.000 I did grow up speaking German, and I spoke only German until I started speaking.
00:57:49.000 I went up to them and I asked, where are you from and what are you doing here?
00:57:52.000 And they looked at me in disbelief and they said, what do you mean?
00:57:54.000 We've always been here and we speak Texas German and we're fifth generation Texas Germans and that was the first time that I had not only heard Texas German spoken but that I also knew that it existed.
00:58:11.000 It sounds like German to me, but I guess it's Texas German.
00:58:14.000 Yeah, I wonder if it has a southern accent.
00:58:16.000 It's like a Twitch German about Texas German.
00:58:20.000 Or even you talk to like a Mexican about Puerto Rican, and they go, it's a weird fucking slurry version of Spanish where they don't really enunciate.
00:58:28.000 Yeah, yeah, we take away S's.
00:58:30.000 I think it's sort of like the Glaswegian of Spanish, where Glaswegian's like, gee, what are you doing already there, man?
00:58:35.000 You're going to be there on Friday, by the way.
00:58:37.000 Like, all one big blob of vowels.
00:58:39.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:58:40.000 That's pretty accurate.
00:58:41.000 All right, next.
00:58:42.000 Oh, here on the learning tree, most popular TV shows.
00:58:47.000 I was surprised to see Happy Days is so big in Wisconsin.
00:58:52.000 Fuck, that's Wisconsin way up there.
00:58:55.000 What are some others?
00:58:56.000 What has New York got?
00:58:57.000 Oh, Seinfeld, of course.
00:58:58.000 Boring.
00:58:59.000 Can you zoom in on this map?
00:59:00.000 Sure, sure.
00:59:03.000 The office is Pennsylvania.
00:59:06.000 That makes sense.
00:59:06.000 It takes place in Scranton.
00:59:10.000 What's this say?
00:59:11.000 Homeland.
00:59:12.000 Weird.
00:59:13.000 Homeland in Virginia, huh?
00:59:16.000 Homeland is a very military type of thing, right?
00:59:18.000 In Virginia, you got a lot of military down there.
00:59:22.000 Family guy up in Rhode Island or whatever that is.
00:59:24.000 Cheers is big in Connecticut.
00:59:28.000 Sure, I can see that.
00:59:29.000 Golden Girls in Florida.
00:59:31.000 That's too funny.
00:59:32.000 Wow.
00:59:33.000 Walking Dead in Georgia.
00:59:35.000 What's any day now?
00:59:37.000 Good question.
00:59:38.000 I don't know that show.
00:59:39.000 That's Alabama.
00:59:42.000 Walker, Texas Ranger is a duh.
00:59:45.000 And what do we got over in the West Coast?
00:59:47.000 Losing you on the mic a little bit.
00:59:49.000 West Coast?
00:59:49.000 You're losing me on Mike?
00:59:50.000 Yeah, you just got to eat the mic.
00:59:52.000 Check, check, check.
00:59:52.000 Yeah, you're good.
00:59:53.000 You just got to keep it.
00:59:54.000 Breaking bad in Arizona.
00:59:55.000 In New Mexico makes perfect sense.
00:59:57.000 Keep going west.
01:00:00.000 Medium?
01:00:00.000 What's medium?
01:00:02.000 About a medium.
01:00:04.000 Like a...
01:00:04.000 Oh, and she can see crimes.
01:00:06.000 That's stupid and gay.
01:00:08.000 The Brady Bunch?
01:00:09.000 Are they going back 100 years or 50 years?
01:00:14.000 I mean, Happy Days and the Brady Bunch haven't been on in ever.
01:00:17.000 Bonanza in Nevada?
01:00:21.000 That's funny.
01:00:22.000 Are these just supposed to be funny?
01:00:24.000 Yeah, Northern Exposure, Hawaii.
01:00:28.000 I mean, they do have a lot of Northern exposure.
01:00:30.000 I like the show.
01:00:31.000 New York, New York, here in New York.
01:00:34.000 Mary Tyler Moore is in Minnesota.
01:00:36.000 All right, next.
01:00:37.000 Wealthiest Americans by state.
01:00:40.000 Huh.
01:00:42.000 I'm surprised Texas isn't doing well.
01:00:44.000 Wait, is red rich or poor?
01:00:47.000 On the bottom right there, there's a thing.
01:00:48.000 So red is millions and blue is billions.
01:00:53.000 And then the whiter is closer to the middle of the two.
01:00:56.000 Holy shit.
01:00:57.000 So our richest areas are California and Nebraska and then New York and Kansas.
01:01:07.000 Kansas is doing pretty good.
01:01:10.000 I'm surprised Florida's not doing better with all those rich people retiring down there.
01:01:13.000 And I'm surprised Texas is doing so shitty.
01:01:16.000 Blue is richer, right?
01:01:18.000 Yeah.
01:01:19.000 So wait a minute.
01:01:20.000 The richest place in America is fucking Nebraska?
01:01:26.000 What the hell?
01:01:27.000 Oh, the wealthiest person there is Bill Gates.
01:01:30.000 Is it like...
01:01:30.000 Oh, Bill Gates fucks up the whole median, that's what it is.
01:01:33.000 Wealthiest Americans and where we're going to go.
01:01:36.000 No, Bill Gates is in Washington.
01:01:38.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:01:39.000 Warren Buffett is in Nebraska.
01:01:41.000 Oh, wait.
01:01:42.000 Oh, I get it.
01:01:43.000 So they just took a wealthy dude and stuck him in his state.
01:01:46.000 It's no comment on the populace.
01:01:48.000 Right.
01:01:49.000 So Nebraska could be completely broke, but it would be doing well because there's a billionaire there.
01:01:53.000 That's a dumb chart.
01:01:54.000 Go fuck yourself, chart.
01:01:55.000 Yeah, go fuck yourself, chart.
01:01:58.000 Attitude of population toward foreign visitors.
01:02:02.000 Canada likes them.
01:02:04.000 America's lukewarm.
01:02:05.000 Russia is like, what are you doing?
01:02:07.000 Wait, less welcoming.
01:02:10.000 Yeah.
01:02:10.000 It's funny Russia doesn't want immigrants.
01:02:13.000 You should take whatever you can get.
01:02:16.000 And then what do we have over in Europe there?
01:02:18.000 It looks like Spain is good, but especially Portugal.
01:02:23.000 Do you know where Spain and Portugal are, Ryan?
01:02:26.000 I know where Spain is.
01:02:28.000 We'll zoom in on Europe.
01:02:29.000 Do you know where Europe is?
01:02:31.000 Looks like a deer jumping over the road in the final video.
01:02:34.000 Oh, wow.
01:02:34.000 Yeah, Portugal's pretty happy to get whoever they want.
01:02:38.000 And Ireland is real welcoming, too.
01:02:40.000 Huh.
01:02:41.000 All right, next.
01:02:43.000 Out here.
01:02:45.000 Let's be less welcoming.
01:02:47.000 Oh, wait, this is just...
01:02:48.000 This is a map of places that are in the world.
01:02:51.000 The world.
01:02:52.000 Did you know that Yemen is in Yemen?
01:02:55.000 Are we done?
01:02:56.000 Nope.
01:02:57.000 Got to just zoom out.
01:02:58.000 This is internet browser.
01:03:00.000 Boring, next.
01:03:01.000 All right.
01:03:03.000 This is...
01:03:05.000 Places that are hairy?
01:03:07.000 Inverted land and sea.
01:03:09.000 Boring.
01:03:10.000 What a dumb map.
01:03:11.000 Very weird.
01:03:11.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:03:12.000 Hey, what if like North America was...
01:03:15.000 What's this?
01:03:16.000 This is driving orientation in different countries.
01:03:20.000 So we're all on the right side of the road, but a few freaks.
01:03:23.000 Driving in Britain is a trip.
01:03:24.000 I've done it a few times, including on our honeymoon.
01:03:27.000 It takes you a while to get used to it, especially when the fast lane is on the right most right lane is the fast lane.
01:03:35.000 What happens when you just cross the border into that town?
01:03:37.000 You better be a good driver.
01:03:40.000 You can see a bunch of British colonies there in the Caribbean.
01:03:45.000 And that's India?
01:03:46.000 Oh, that's because of Britain.
01:03:47.000 Prevalence of obesity.
01:03:48.000 Oh, look at that.
01:03:49.000 See, this is the takeaway from COVID.
01:03:52.000 The takeaway from COVID is that we have a severe obesity epidemic in this country.
01:03:58.000 Look at that.
01:03:59.000 America's totally unique.
01:04:00.000 Dude, you've got to take pictures, Ryan, when you go to Disneyland this summer.
01:04:04.000 Sure, sure.
01:04:05.000 We need to see this because I was shocked by how many disgusting fat pigs are riding rascals.
01:04:12.000 And I didn't have the courage to do this, but I wanted to go up and go, hey, I noticed you're in the round.
01:04:16.000 My father has spina bifida.
01:04:17.000 He's in a rascal, too.
01:04:19.000 What's your handicap?
01:04:21.000 And they go, oh, nothing.
01:04:22.000 I'm just lazy.
01:04:23.000 Yeah, gross.
01:04:25.000 I'm LARPing as a WALL-I, an extra in WALL-I.
01:04:30.000 Next.
01:04:32.000 WALL-I.
01:04:32.000 That whole movie was just about fucking litter bugs.
01:04:36.000 What do we got here?
01:04:37.000 Again.
01:04:38.000 Places I like to hang.
01:04:41.000 Yeah.
01:04:41.000 What is this?
01:04:42.000 I'll tell you in a second.
01:04:44.000 Oh, here we go.
01:04:45.000 Countries that don't use the metric system.
01:04:47.000 Boring, but interesting.
01:04:50.000 Boring, but interesting.
01:04:52.000 All right, I'm getting bored of this segment.
01:04:53.000 Do we have any more juicy maps like biggest tits?
01:04:56.000 This is...
01:04:58.000 I don't care about that map.
01:04:59.000 Whatever it is.
01:05:00.000 It can suck my dick.
01:05:01.000 Okay.
01:05:02.000 Okay.
01:05:03.000 Places with mantis shrimp.
01:05:05.000 That's correct.
01:05:05.000 Okay, you're not helping, Ryan.
01:05:07.000 Let's get back to work.
01:05:08.000 Oh, understood.
01:05:11.000 Shut your mouth and bite your tongue, because you don't want to piss off anyone.
01:05:20.000 It's kind of got a 99 problems riff there, too, doesn't it?
01:05:23.000 I got 99 problems being canceled is some.
01:05:26.000 Oh, shit, I left my computer in my office.
01:05:29.000 All right, I think we're out of time, folks.
01:05:33.000 Yeah.
01:05:34.000 So we H the MB?
01:05:36.000 We H the MB.
01:05:37.000 Hit the mailbag.
01:05:39.000 Yes.
01:05:39.000 Sorry, I should have known that acronym.
01:05:41.000 I'm going to see if I can make it to my office and back before you're done the song.
01:05:46.000 And go.
01:05:48.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
01:05:52.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
01:05:58.000 Let me touch it.
01:06:01.000 Nice.
01:06:02.000 It's not easy on the old Royd.
01:06:06.000 Fuck, there must be something for this.
01:06:09.000 I tried to put ice on it this morning, which I don't recommend.
01:06:13.000 That hurt.
01:06:15.000 But I don't think the fucking Prep H does anything.
01:06:19.000 I'm going to go to CVS after this and say, look, I want you to get me something that gets you fired.
01:06:27.000 Like Oxy H. It could be antifreeze.
01:06:33.000 It doesn't help, but it'll get me fired.
01:06:40.000 This is weird.
01:06:45.000 I thought I marked a bunch.
01:06:46.000 The reason I could have Taco Bell, by the way, is because Brian Bailey raised a Taco Bell fund for me.
01:06:52.000 You're blurry.
01:06:54.000 I need a fund for that, too.
01:06:55.000 Donate to Ryan to make me focused.
01:06:58.000 There we go.
01:07:01.000 Focused on your job, too.
01:07:03.000 Let's include that in the fun.
01:07:04.000 You know how you're going to clean out this stock room, Ryan?
01:07:06.000 How?
01:07:07.000 I did it this weekend with my garage.
01:07:09.000 I moved the cars out of the driveway, took everything out of the garage, including the contractors, scaffolding and shit that's not even mine, furniture, everything.
01:07:21.000 The garage was empty.
01:07:23.000 And then I slowly put everything back in categories.
01:07:30.000 I hope the contractor picked up his shit, too.
01:07:33.000 That's how you're going to do it in this room.
01:07:35.000 You empty it, you lay it all out here on the floor, and then when you see something valuable like an HDMI cable, you go, okay, this is worthy.
01:07:43.000 This goes in.
01:07:44.000 Got it.
01:07:45.000 And you rebuild it.
01:07:46.000 And then you'll be left with a pile of shit here.
01:07:49.000 Shit pile.
01:07:50.000 A shit pile.
01:07:53.000 I'm not sure what we should do with those doors.
01:07:55.000 I know this makes for fascinating content, but they're pretty good quality.
01:08:01.000 And they made this desk.
01:08:02.000 This desk is made from old doors.
01:08:04.000 That's my favorite drink.
01:08:06.000 Where did the doorknob go?
01:08:07.000 Quality.
01:08:12.000 How the fuck did he do that?
01:08:15.000 There was a doorknob here.
01:08:18.000 And not only is it gone, but I can't see where he filled the hole.
01:08:22.000 And it still has grain in it.
01:08:25.000 What a talented carpenter that guy was.
01:08:28.000 Anyway, sorry, let's start getting down with the downs.
01:08:33.000 Now, this should be exciting.
01:08:34.000 I was going to send this to your wife to show her that she's not the only one.
01:08:41.000 This came in at 11.17 a.m.
01:08:43.000 Getting Down with the Downs, Ryan.
01:08:46.000 I saw this on a pro-life page on Facebook.
01:08:48.000 It's a great heartwarming pro-life story.
01:08:51.000 But I have so many questions about this woman who decided to marry and reproduce with this particular guy.
01:08:56.000 Maybe it's proof that even the normal women are a little bit special at times.
01:09:01.000 Can you not find this?
01:09:02.000 I got it.
01:09:03.000 Okay.
01:09:03.000 Loading up.
01:09:04.000 This is why I want to be in control of a common misconception.
01:09:11.000 Isn't this going to cheer up your wife when she sees this?
01:09:14.000 I don't know what you mean.
01:09:15.000 A common misconception about people with Down syndrome is that they cannot have children.
01:09:18.000 Women with Down can bear children just fine.
01:09:21.000 And in extremely rare cases, men can become fathers too.
01:09:25.000 Jad Isa, a man with Down syndrome, not only welcomed a child with his wife, but he also raised him to be a doctor.
01:09:32.000 And I totally agree with the guy who sent this letter.
01:09:35.000 What's going on with her?
01:09:41.000 Help me out here.
01:09:42.000 She has a big heart, and he has a big tongue.
01:09:45.000 And they're perfect.
01:09:47.000 She just loves having her pussy eaten.
01:09:49.000 Yeah.
01:09:50.000 Keep going?
01:09:54.000 There she is wearing the same sweater.
01:09:56.000 Ish guy.
01:09:58.000 Isn't that weird?
01:10:00.000 I know she's haggard in that photo, but she looks kind of attractive there.
01:10:05.000 You know, within the parameters of geriatric Middle Eastern woman.
01:10:10.000 But yeah, she had a...
01:10:13.000 She had a baby with Eddie Van Day.
01:10:14.000 Down syndrome guys usually die around 40, too.
01:10:18.000 He's extremely proud of his doctor's son.
01:10:20.000 Yeah, duh.
01:10:23.000 Dharman compilation.
01:10:24.000 Ahoy fags.
01:10:25.000 My kid's school does a wax museum demonstration every year.
01:10:29.000 The requirements are a famous person that has a book written about them.
01:10:33.000 Part of the grade is the kids reciting famous quotes from the subject.
01:10:36.000 As a goof, my nine-year-old wise-ass son volunteered to go as Dharman.
01:10:41.000 By the way, speaking of wise-ass nine-year-olds, my nine-year-old asked for a bullhorn for his birthday.
01:10:48.000 And I'm cleaning out the garage this weekend, so I'm back and forth in the driveway.
01:10:53.000 And I hear his friend on the bullhorn standing on our front steps, and he says, if you are not vaccinated, you may not leave your home.
01:11:04.000 Please, people, only vaccinated people.
01:11:07.000 He's doing it funnier than I'm.
01:11:08.000 I'm not doing it justice.
01:11:10.000 If you are not vaccinated, please stay in your homes.
01:11:13.000 Vaccinated people, you may leave your homes.
01:11:17.000 Isn't that funny for nine?
01:11:19.000 Yeah.
01:11:20.000 I had to peek out and look to see who the fuck was saying that.
01:11:23.000 Like, who's your writer?
01:11:25.000 Did you buy this joke?
01:11:27.000 Well, Darman, he has an interview.
01:11:30.000 So if you want to learn about it.
01:11:34.000 This is a funny Freudian slip that this guy says.
01:11:36.000 Figure revenue company that we reached within a couple years.
01:11:39.000 We just hired our 100th team member.
01:11:41.000 If you saw his content, you would think that this man was owing the world money, right?
01:11:48.000 What did he say?
01:11:49.000 If you saw this guy's content, folks, you would think that this man owes the world money.
01:11:54.000 I agree.
01:11:55.000 I don't get that.
01:11:55.000 That he's like, he's provided such a detriment to society that he owes the world money.
01:11:59.000 Not that the world owes him money.
01:12:00.000 Oh, I see he fucked up.
01:12:02.000 Yeah.
01:12:03.000 I'm not understanding this letter, by the way.
01:12:05.000 A wax museum demonstration?
01:12:07.000 And then you need famous quotes from the guy?
01:12:09.000 What are you sculpt dar man?
01:12:12.000 To my shock and surprise, the teacher agreed to let him do it.
01:12:15.000 We're practicing our favorite quote, my son is on the cover of a magazine, complete with facial expression.
01:12:20.000 Please run through a quick greatest hits so I can properly prepare him with at least three quotes for 100.
01:12:28.000 Oh.
01:12:29.000 So I don't understand what this assignment is.
01:12:32.000 I guess they act like they're the wax figure.
01:12:36.000 Starman didn't say the cover of a magazine.
01:12:39.000 Yeah, I guess, but he, yeah, that's a loophole.
01:12:43.000 But what are they?
01:12:43.000 There's my son's on the cover of a magazine.
01:12:45.000 I know this is not what you want.
01:12:47.000 And I'm sorry.
01:12:48.000 And I'm sorry.
01:12:50.000 Yeah, and then that's it for those.
01:12:55.000 I'm drawing a blanket.
01:12:56.000 Those are our drops.
01:12:57.000 I mean, those are all the drops that we have.
01:12:59.000 We only use drops from that one sketch?
01:13:01.000 Yeah.
01:13:02.000 I mean, it's a gold mine, so maybe we should go back to the boards.
01:13:05.000 Hey, fags, I just finished the Ricky Powell documentary, The Individualist.
01:13:09.000 And I was curious if you ever mixed it up with him in your early vice days.
01:13:12.000 Do you have any stories about Ricky?
01:13:13.000 Looks to me from the doc that the Beastie Boys did him dirty after they found Buddha.
01:13:19.000 Girlfriend, throw, no, boyfriend, throw in the towel.
01:13:22.000 Your girl got fucked by Ricky Powell.
01:13:25.000 The Beastie Boys were cocksuckers.
01:13:27.000 They were a punk band.
01:13:29.000 They had an album called Polly Wog Stew.
01:13:31.000 They played the A7 here in New York City.
01:13:34.000 And they had a fat, ugly chick in the band.
01:13:36.000 I believe she was the drummer.
01:13:38.000 They met with Rick Rubin and Russell Simmons, and they said, you guys are awesome, but let's do, now that you're doing rap, sorry, they did rap first.
01:13:47.000 They kept the fat chick.
01:13:49.000 And they go, I like this post-punk rap.
01:13:52.000 You're in, but lose the fat chick.
01:13:53.000 And they're like, she's gone.
01:13:55.000 Bye.
01:13:56.000 Because that was good for money.
01:13:57.000 And then they had their first album was all Ricky Powell kind of New York stuff.
01:14:02.000 And they liked tits and fucking partying and beer.
01:14:06.000 And then that became uncool in the feminist 90s.
01:14:09.000 So they said, that was a joke.
01:14:11.000 We were pretending to be jocks.
01:14:13.000 And they apparently turfed Ricky Powell, too.
01:14:16.000 But he was an awesome dude.
01:14:19.000 I hung out with him a bunch of times.
01:14:21.000 One time we were at a party and we did pop brownies.
01:14:23.000 This would be like early aughts.
01:14:25.000 And I got way too fucking high, as one does.
01:14:29.000 And he had like three times as many as me.
01:14:31.000 So I just had to sit down and people were going, we're going to this party.
01:14:34.000 I was like, I'm just going to stay in Judy's backyard.
01:14:35.000 I'm afraid, Judy Rosen.
01:14:37.000 And he said, I got to get home, man.
01:14:40.000 He has a real thick New York accent too.
01:14:42.000 I got to get fucking home, man.
01:14:44.000 This is, I'm going to die.
01:14:46.000 So he started walking home and then it started thunderstorming.
01:14:50.000 So he's having a bad trip and he's hiding.
01:14:52.000 It was like the rain was toxic sludge and he was hiding under scaffolding and stuff and jumping into things trying to get home.
01:14:58.000 He lived in the East Village and eventually he got home and he said, the only thing that stopped me from dying was the Grateful Dead.
01:15:05.000 He put on the Grateful Dead and he lay there until his high ended, which was like five hours.
01:15:10.000 But we had the weirdest falling out.
01:15:14.000 I would do do's and don'ts back then and they were like street fashion critiques.
01:15:18.000 And there was a super old guy who had the similar stubble that Ricky had later in life, the sort of gray stubble.
01:15:25.000 And he had kind of a rap vibe.
01:15:27.000 And I said, holy shit, Ricky Powell's seen better days.
01:15:31.000 I thought he'd think it was funny.
01:15:33.000 And he's like, he kept calling me a new jack, meaning like someone who's new to New York City.
01:15:37.000 He's like, you fucking new jacks come here.
01:15:39.000 You think you'll only be next time I see you, you're fucking dead.
01:15:44.000 And I talked to him.
01:15:45.000 I was like, dude, calm down.
01:15:46.000 It's a fucking joke.
01:15:48.000 And he goes, no, yeah, everything's a fucking joke to you, Gavin.
01:15:51.000 You're a fucking, I'm going to fucking slit your throat.
01:15:54.000 And then one day he died.
01:15:58.000 One day he slit my throat.
01:16:01.000 So just be careful.
01:16:03.000 It's a joke.
01:16:06.000 But I'm looking forward to checking out that dock.
01:16:07.000 Yeah.
01:16:08.000 I'm obsessed with music docs these days.
01:16:11.000 They all suck.
01:16:13.000 I don't think I've seen a good one yet.
01:16:16.000 Maybe the great rock and roll swindle.
01:16:20.000 Yo, G-Dog and Rye Fry.
01:16:21.000 I know you don't like video games because you think they're for children.
01:16:24.000 I can agree to an extent, but I think you'd like this one.
01:16:26.000 There are books that go along with it.
01:16:27.000 Ooh, books.
01:16:29.000 Because all books are for smart people.
01:16:32.000 Harry Potter, anytime there's a book, it must involve intellect.
01:16:38.000 No.
01:16:41.000 This is super cool for nine-year-olds.
01:16:44.000 The fact that adults like to punch aliens in the face is embarrassing.
01:16:50.000 Sorry, I know this is bad for business.
01:16:52.000 I know we're losing subs as I speak.
01:16:54.000 But, I mean, maybe if you're playing with your son, I could see it.
01:16:58.000 But you're spending your free time shooting monsters and now you're reading about it too?
01:17:05.000 So not only did you play the game, but you get to read to keep up the story.
01:17:08.000 The second half of the video, that link is better, but feel free to watch the whole thing.
01:17:11.000 Thank you for letting me watch the whole thing.
01:17:14.000 Great dock with zero wokeness.
01:17:17.000 Now this looks really good.
01:17:18.000 I'm looking forward to watching this too.
01:17:20.000 I got to write these down.
01:17:21.000 There's the Thrasher dock.
01:17:23.000 I mean the skate park dock.
01:17:25.000 And the...
01:17:26.000 What was the one we just saw?
01:17:27.000 My mind's a piece of shit.
01:17:28.000 Oh yeah, Ricky Powell.
01:17:31.000 I think a lot of the times these filmmakers get permission by saying, we're not going to shit on you.
01:17:36.000 So it ends up being a big fluff piece PR thing, which is not interesting.
01:17:41.000 But these are two guys in Portland who were really into skating, and they went from just, you know, making shitty ramps in their backyard to making beautiful concrete skate parks all over the world.
01:17:50.000 Africa, Austria.
01:17:52.000 The mayor's office will administer the site.
01:17:54.000 The skateboarders themselves will maintain it.
01:17:57.000 Mark Scott's been working on this project for almost two years.
01:18:00.000 He says the resolution is nice, but he wants even more.
01:18:03.000 I'd like to get it so that it could be a national monument or something so that it'd stay here forever.
01:18:07.000 Well, that's just...
01:18:08.000 I'm probably dreaming there, but you know.
01:18:11.000 Pipe dreaming?
01:18:12.000 I just like people thinking of like skating.
01:18:14.000 Grindland, it's called.
01:18:15.000 This is the place to do it for me.
01:18:17.000 The weird part is, though, in this, in this.
01:18:20.000 I don't know if this person's male or female.
01:18:22.000 They got a weird foreign name, but hello, my niggas.
01:18:24.000 Thrasher Magazine put up this documentary about Red and Monk, two butt-ugly men in Portland, Oregon, who became legends by building butt-ugly men?
01:18:33.000 Who says that about men?
01:18:35.000 Gay men.
01:18:36.000 Unless they're freaks.
01:18:38.000 Like Doug E. Bird at the beginning of the show.
01:18:40.000 But go for it.
01:18:41.000 Let's see these butt-ugly men.
01:18:45.000 More, more, more.
01:18:47.000 Just jump in like a third.
01:18:49.000 They got shut down.
01:18:51.000 Nope.
01:18:52.000 Let's keep going.
01:18:53.000 There you go.
01:18:54.000 Butt ugly.
01:18:54.000 Ew, that guy's so ugly.
01:18:57.000 He's butt ugly.19.
01:19:01.000 Ew, look how ugly he is.
01:19:03.000 I'd say butt ugly.
01:19:04.000 He's butt ugly.
01:19:06.000 Ew.
01:19:06.000 I'm going to start saying that when I'm insulting dudes.
01:19:08.000 You're like butt ugly.
01:19:12.000 You're as ugly as a butt.
01:19:14.000 What a weird thing to say, dude.
01:19:17.000 Ugly.
01:19:19.000 The two Mars.
01:19:20.000 Tip for Ryan.
01:19:22.000 One thing may help you with paywalls, especially if you're using Brave, is that there is a context menu.
01:19:28.000 It's a right-click on PLC, but you're probably using a piece of shit Mac.
01:19:31.000 Yes, we are.
01:19:33.000 And there should be a Brave icon.
01:19:35.000 Within that sub-menu, there is a hide element button.
01:19:40.000 It will open a new interface and you select which page element you want to hide, like paywall shit.
01:19:46.000 May not work on every site, but it may save your skin here and there.
01:19:51.000 Give it a shot before a show.
01:19:53.000 Love your work.
01:19:54.000 A lot of goodbyes to this guy.
01:19:56.000 He's saying goodbye.
01:19:57.000 I don't need any of this.
01:19:58.000 Everything after paywall shit is extraneous.
01:20:01.000 Love your work.
01:20:02.000 Peace.
01:20:04.000 Adam.
01:20:06.000 Oh, no, you said his name.
01:20:08.000 All right, let's make this the last one.
01:20:10.000 Tips to look after your husband.
01:20:16.000 Let's see if these are reasonable.
01:20:17.000 It's from 1950.
01:20:19.000 Okay.
01:20:20.000 I'm guessing I'm going to like these.
01:20:23.000 Have dinner ready.
01:20:24.000 Plan ahead.
01:20:27.000 Even the night before, to have a delicious meal on time.
01:20:29.000 This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs.
01:20:33.000 Most men are hungry when they come home, and the prospects of a good meal are part of a warm welcome.
01:20:39.000 Love it.
01:20:40.000 Prepare yourself.
01:20:42.000 Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives.
01:20:44.000 Touch up your makeup.
01:20:46.000 Put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking.
01:20:48.000 Yes, please.
01:20:50.000 He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
01:20:52.000 Be a little gay.
01:20:54.000 Okay.
01:20:55.000 And a little more interesting.
01:20:56.000 His boring day may need a lift.
01:20:58.000 Clear away the clutter.
01:20:59.000 Oh, I got to send this to my wife.
01:21:00.000 Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc.
01:21:06.000 Then run a dustcloth over the tables.
01:21:09.000 Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.
01:21:15.000 Sold, prepare the children.
01:21:17.000 By the way, none of this seems unreasonable to me at all for someone who doesn't work.
01:21:23.000 Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces.
01:21:25.000 If they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes.
01:21:28.000 They are little treasures.
01:21:29.000 You'd like to see them playing the part.
01:21:31.000 Minimize all noise.
01:21:32.000 At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher, vacuum.
01:21:36.000 Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
01:21:38.000 Be happy to see him.
01:21:38.000 Greet him with a warm smile and be glad sold.
01:21:42.000 Some don'ts.
01:21:43.000 Don't greet him with problems or complaints.
01:21:45.000 Don't complain if he's late for dinner.
01:21:47.000 Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through through that day.
01:21:50.000 Agreed.
01:21:51.000 Now, I will say, by the way, this sounds sexist because we're dealing with a lot of asshole men in this day and age who institute divorce and cheat on their wives and come home drunk.
01:22:00.000 But I would wager that the men that we're hearing about here are busting their ass at work.
01:22:06.000 Like the whole madman thing of guys just screwing women and getting wasted, I believe is a myth.
01:22:13.000 I think these dudes, you know, they're wearing three-piece suits to go to the baseball game.
01:22:17.000 So yes, in the context of your dad in his sweatpants farting, this looks a little much, but the dad was kicking ass and taking names too and wearing a suit every single day, including the weekends.
01:22:30.000 Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom.
01:22:34.000 Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
01:22:36.000 Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes.
01:22:39.000 Speak in a low, soft, soothing, and pleasant voice.
01:22:42.000 Allow him to relax and unwind.
01:22:47.000 Glare is ruining this one.
01:22:48.000 You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moms of his arrival, but the moment of his arrival is not the time.
01:22:55.000 Let him talk first.
01:22:56.000 Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to something of entertainment.
01:23:01.000 Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to come home and relax.
01:23:05.000 The goal, try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
01:23:12.000 Is that so wrong?
01:23:15.000 Really?
01:23:15.000 Is that so wrong?
01:23:18.000 All right, let's do the final vid, dudes.
01:23:35.000 Here we have a deer jumping so fucking high.
01:23:39.000 This is how I remember when we would ride these dirt bikes that weren't dirt bikes, they were bicycles, but they were made, we were too young, obviously, to have a dirt bike unless your parents are divorced and you were spoiled, like my friend Steve.
01:23:50.000 And these bikes, they had plastic gas tanks on them and shocks on the front and the back.
01:23:57.000 And they had treads sort of like grips that look like actual motorcycles.
01:24:02.000 And they had a number on the front.
01:24:03.000 This is pre-BMX.
01:24:04.000 I'm talking about the 70s.
01:24:07.000 And we would do these jumps on our bikes.
01:24:09.000 I called mine the tiger because the treads were so intense.
01:24:12.000 They would like go on the road.
01:24:16.000 We would do these jumps where you'd be in the air for so long that you'd sort of move your thing around and stuff and look down at your friends.
01:24:24.000 Like it seemed like we were in the air for an hour.
01:24:27.000 And it's almost like you'd get a second lift, like you go zomph and then woo.
01:24:33.000 and you'd be going, holy fucking shit, and you'd always land just great.
01:24:38.000 And I feel like this deer is doing that.
01:24:40.000 He's getting up and he has so much air.
01:24:42.000 He's like, What should I do up here?
01:24:43.000 Maybe I'll take a few steps.
01:24:46.000 Why have a fence to keep out deer when they're capable of this?
01:24:55.000 Okay.
01:24:57.000 And we're going up.
01:24:58.000 What's that?
01:24:59.000 Six feet.
01:25:01.000 Look at him.
01:25:01.000 He's walking.
01:25:02.000 Eight feet?
01:25:06.000 What in the fuck?
01:25:10.000 Why do you bother doing that, by the way?
01:25:11.000 It's just a road.
01:25:14.000 It's a waste of a good jump.
01:25:16.000 Can I see that again?
01:25:17.000 I like the part where he walks.
01:25:20.000 He's come up.
01:25:22.000 Okay, everything's normal now.
01:25:25.000 This is normal.
01:25:27.000 That's when it gets abnormal.
01:25:28.000 Doot, doot, do.
01:25:30.000 Three little steps.
01:25:32.000 And then he's just flying.
01:25:34.000 He turns into a giraffe halfway through the fucking jump.
01:25:37.000 Yeah, he's a flying squirrel, too.
01:25:40.000 Damn.
01:25:41.000 That's our show.
01:25:42.000 I hope you enjoyed touring the world with us.
01:25:45.000 And catching up on this ridiculous synagogue bullshit starring a British person.
01:25:51.000 Fake news, all lies.
01:25:53.000 Yes, your pronouns are clown because you're a fucking clown.
01:25:57.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
01:26:10.000 Welcome to America!