Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S4E100 - BEST SMACKTOR

00:00:14.000 From New York, it's Get'em Monday One with Gibbon McGibbon.

00:00:48.000 I was gonna play Smack My Bitch Up, but it takes too long, that song.

00:00:54.000 It takes forever for them to get into the Smack My Bitch Up part. 1.00

00:00:58.000 Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn.

00:01:01.000 Very exciting show for you.

00:01:02.000 That was Miss MC Bassman, Heavy and Dark. 0.92

00:01:06.000 I was blaring that in the house on Sunday, and my son said, can you turn that off?

00:01:13.000 You know, when you're young and your dad tells you to turn your music off, you go, wow, when I'm older, I'll be telling my son to turn his music off.

00:01:21.000 My kids, my daughter listens to music, but my sons don't.

00:01:25.000 They tell me to turn it down.

00:01:28.000 Turn off that.

00:01:29.000 What is that music?

00:01:31.000 I said, it's drum and bass, dad.

00:01:35.000 The Mets game is on.

00:01:37.000 But he's not watching the Mets because it's not real games now.

00:01:40.000 It's Port St. Lucie.

00:01:41.000 It's training.

00:01:43.000 Mike! 0.69

00:01:46.000 So Gen X is the first generation where it's the dad being told by the kids to turn the music down.

00:01:54.000 Before that, since the 50s, since rock and roll, it's been the dad telling his son to turn the music down.

00:02:00.000 We're also the first generation to start dying younger than our parents or grandparents died.

00:02:08.000 Lifespan's been getting exponentially higher since the beginning of time, and we're the first to go down.

00:02:16.000 Jesus Christ.

00:02:18.000 And that is because of obesity.

00:02:21.000 And no one discusses that because it's bad for business.

00:02:24.000 Fans don't like to hear that they're fat.

00:02:26.000 Well, you're fat and you're dying.

00:02:29.000 Don't be fat.

00:02:31.000 Don't be poor and don't be fat.

00:02:33.000 You don't know what it's like.

00:02:34.000 I'm struggling.

00:02:34.000 No, you're not.

00:02:37.000 There is a dearth of people willing to show up for work these days.

00:02:42.000 Go out there, get a trade, do construction, get rich.

00:02:46.000 The only people I know who are genuinely poor are divorced dads who have to give 50% of their money to their wife.

00:02:54.000 But when you're married, you've got to give, I give 100% of my money to my wife.

00:02:59.000 So that's not poor either.

00:03:01.000 It's like my paycheck gets cut in half every time I get a paycheck.

00:03:04.000 Yeah.

00:03:05.000 So does mine.

00:03:07.000 My paycheck gets cut in more than half.

00:03:12.000 So the big story, of course, today is Will Smith slapping Chris Rock.

00:03:17.000 Was it real?

00:03:19.000 Now, there's some degrees of reality, too.

00:03:21.000 Some are saying he knew something was going to go down, but I sent you a better one than this.

00:03:30.000 He didn't know it was going to be a full-on slap.

00:03:34.000 So what do we think?

00:03:36.000 Here at Get Off My Lawn.

00:03:37.000 The things that make me think it was at least partly real is the way Chris Rock reacted afterwards.

00:03:45.000 He seemed really uncomfortable.

00:03:48.000 I.e., no adrenaline control.

00:03:53.000 Wow.

00:03:54.000 Wow.

00:03:57.000 Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.

00:04:06.000 Wow, dude.

00:04:08.000 It was a G.I. Jane jump.

00:04:15.000 I'm going to, okay?

00:04:19.000 Oh, okay.

00:04:23.000 That was a greatest night in the history of television.

00:04:29.000 We included Japanese translations there for all you zipper heads. 0.99

00:04:34.000 I couldn't understand what he said before that.

00:04:37.000 He got hit so hard he did a Biden-ism.

00:04:40.000 This is the greatest night of Grammys.

00:04:42.000 No, not the Grammys.

00:04:45.000 What is it now?

00:04:46.000 Oscar the Grouch?

00:04:47.000 He's got the fight face that you do.

00:04:49.000 See?

00:04:50.000 That's what makes me think it's real.

00:04:52.000 I've discussed this a million times.

00:04:54.000 Every time you see a fist fight on the street, the guy wants to poo-poo it.

00:04:57.000 So he goes, he thinks he's going like this.

00:05:01.000 What the fuck was that?

00:05:04.000 Wow.

00:05:04.000 Okay.

00:05:05.000 I guess someone's real mad.

00:05:07.000 Bonk, bon, bonk.

00:05:08.000 He's punching me like a maniac.

00:05:10.000 That's what he wants to be, but his adrenaline is pounding too much for him to smile normally, so he smiles like this.

00:05:16.000 Oh my God, that was insane.

00:05:18.000 Did you see him?

00:05:19.000 And he always says the same thing.

00:05:20.000 Sucker punch.

00:05:21.000 Did you see him sucker punch me?

00:05:23.000 Holy shit, it was such a fucking sucker punch.

00:05:27.000 Going to, okay?

00:05:31.000 Oh, okay.

00:05:33.000 Yeah, it was real.

00:05:35.000 It's possible.

00:05:36.000 I will allow for the possibility that Will Smith was supposed to get up and do something, but, and he took it too far.

00:05:45.000 Maybe.

00:05:46.000 And they say Chris Rock was bracing for it.

00:05:48.000 If you go back, he could have been like, yes, can I help you?

00:05:53.000 What do you got?

00:05:54.000 Because he expected something like, you need to shut the fuck up.

00:05:57.000 And he's sort of doing like a uh-huh.

00:05:59.000 Or a playful, like, oh, you're going to playfully slap me.

00:06:04.000 You're like, I deserve it.

00:06:04.000 Shitty comes in with this.

00:06:05.000 Yeah, he's like, oh, we're in Hollywood, so you're going to pretend to slap me for your wife's honor.

00:06:10.000 Here he goes.

00:06:11.000 And then he asks you.

00:06:12.000 Okay, so your take is he didn't, this wasn't planned, but Chris Rock assumed it would be a small slap, not a big slap.

00:06:19.000 Right.

00:06:19.000 See how he's leaning forward?

00:06:20.000 He's like, go ahead, give it to me.

00:06:22.000 I'm ready.

00:06:22.000 I deserve it.

00:06:23.000 But bop.

00:06:24.000 And he's like, okay, fuck.

00:06:28.000 That's a terrible theory, right?

00:06:29.000 That's exactly what happened.

00:06:30.000 That's a terrible theory.

00:06:32.000 Comments below.

00:06:32.000 Detective shitty once again strikes.

00:06:38.000 See, That's all real.

00:06:39.000 Everybody could have rolled with it.

00:06:40.000 They were laughing after that, and they were like, oh, shit, this is fun.

00:06:43.000 And then when he said it again, they were like, okay, black man angry. 0.91

00:06:46.000 Oscar's so black. 0.99

00:06:47.000 This is what happens.

00:06:48.000 That's all real.

00:06:49.000 And Jada Pickett's myth is a kind of...

00:06:54.000 G.I. Jane, no joke about that. 0.98

00:06:56.000 Here's what's really happening with the Oscars, though, is Ricky Gervais ruined awards shows in general by peeling back the curtain and making fun of them.

00:07:04.000 My favorite joke, of course, from that is when he introduces Bruce Willis as Ashton Kutcher's dad.

00:07:11.000 He was fantastic.

00:07:12.000 And they need to reassert themselves.

00:07:16.000 I'm not saying this is planned, but I'm saying that Will Smith is like, we're the laughingstock.

00:07:21.000 I'm sick of it.

00:07:22.000 I'm going to fucking do something.

00:07:24.000 And that's why I bet he's got...

00:07:25.000 He got, according to Daily Mail, he got nothing but accolades.

00:07:29.000 Oh, I forgot to number these today.

00:07:31.000 He got nothing but accolades that night from the rest of them.

00:07:35.000 But let's go back and watch the whole thing with the G.I. Jane joke.

00:07:39.000 Because Will Smith laughs, and Jada Kuntit Smith goes, Now, I don't know if she's bald from chemo or something real.

00:07:48.000 I don't think so.

00:07:49.000 We don't want to make fun of Pew with Cancer, but she was dressed retarded in a giant Patagonia jacket that became a dress. 1.00

00:07:58.000 Denzel Macbeth loved it!

00:08:05.000 I love the part where I said, King Lear don't got nothing on me.

00:08:11.000 Stop.

00:08:13.000 Did they say that in King Lear?

00:08:14.000 No.

00:08:15.000 That was from the other training day.

00:08:18.000 Oh.

00:08:19.000 I gotta see it.

00:08:20.000 It's really good.

00:08:21.000 You know who's got the hardest job tonight?

00:08:24.000 Javier Dardem and his wife are both nominated.

00:08:28.000 Now, if she loses, he can't win.

00:08:33.000 Dude, these jokes are so sweet.

00:08:37.000 Ah, couples.

00:08:41.000 Your wife, right?

00:08:42.000 I love you.

00:08:43.000 G.I. Jane, too, can't wait to see it.

00:08:49.000 Yeah, look, stop, stop.

00:08:51.000 Go back.

00:08:52.000 That's not chemo.

00:08:54.000 The stubble's there.

00:08:55.000 It's shaved.

00:08:59.000 Here he is enjoying the G.I. Jane joke.

00:09:03.000 A totally benign.

00:09:04.000 Look at that mulatto in the back trying to cling on to any piece of blackness she ever has. 1.00

00:09:08.000 I was just thinking about that on the way here.

00:09:10.000 If white privilege is such a big thing, why did Jerry change his name to Geraldo?

00:09:15.000 Why did Henry Tario change his name to Enrique?

00:09:20.000 Because it's cooler to be ethnic. 0.99

00:09:22.000 And that's why that white chick is holding on to her Octoroon dreads like she's on the edge of a cliff. 1.00

00:09:30.000 Look, I'm sitting in the black section.

00:09:31.000 I'm so black.

00:09:33.000 No, you're not.

00:09:34.000 You're a white girl on vacation trying to get her groove back. 0.99

00:09:37.000 Anyway, sorry, tangent time.

00:09:39.000 Jada, I love you.

00:09:41.000 G.I. Jane 2, can't wait to see it.

00:09:43.000 All right?

00:09:43.000 Stop, stop.

00:09:44.000 When you get to her stubble.

00:09:45.000 Look at that.

00:09:47.000 Dark stubble.

00:09:48.000 That's her. 0.88

00:09:49.000 Yeah.

00:09:50.000 What do you mean, oh, that's her?

00:09:51.000 I swear, I was like the black chick next to her.

00:09:53.000 I was like, wow, she really transformed into a different black chick. 0.99

00:09:57.000 You thought the woman next to Will was Jada Pinkett Smith?

00:10:00.000 Yeah.

00:10:01.000 They're not together, right?

00:10:02.000 Or they have an open marriage?

00:10:04.000 Because somebody made the joke that, like, if every rapper that she slept with rushed the stage when Chris Rock made that joke.

00:10:09.000 You're only now familiar with the fact that Jada Pinkett Smith fucks anything that moves? 1.00

00:10:14.000 No, but I'm familiar with that, but I didn't think they were together together.

00:10:19.000 Please stop commenting, Brian.

00:10:20.000 You don't know anything but how to play Steve Inge Maumstein and how to play video games.

00:10:27.000 Yes, Jada Pinkett Smith has been caught fucking around. 1.00

00:10:31.000 They've been struggling to get through it.

00:10:34.000 One guy, a record producer or a rapper, made it public, said that he had been fucking her.

00:10:40.000 But somehow they've survived.

00:10:42.000 She's the bitch who said, if you recall, who I called a monkey actress. 1.00

00:10:50.000 And that appeared on Tucker.

00:10:51.000 Some Indian dude was like, you've had the leader of the Prow Boys who called Jada Pinkett Smith a monkey and said that Muslims are too inbred to be in America.

00:11:04.000 Both kind of true.

00:11:07.000 I mean, I don't like the way you twisted my words, but I made a joke based on what my kid said when he was a little kid.

00:11:16.000 Check it out.

00:11:17.000 Look under Jada Pinkett Smith there. 0.74

00:11:22.000 My head is pounding a fucking party way too hard at Gav's Tav last night.

00:11:28.000 This is the Media Matters Minute.

00:11:30.000 I'm Eric.

00:11:30.000 This is the Media Matters Minute.

00:11:31.000 I mean, Nebish Jew. 1.00

00:11:33.000 Fifth edition of the Gavin McInnes Show, host and frequent Fox News guest Gavin McInnes uses a racial slur to describe actress Jada Pinkett Smith.

00:11:41.000 Listen here.

00:11:42.000 My son, for example, I was thinking about the other day.

00:11:44.000 He says all this awesome shit, and my wife gets to enjoy him more than I do.

00:11:48.000 Like he said, he was watching some documentary about Chippaqua.

00:11:52.000 Chipajin.

00:11:53.000 Chapaquin.

00:11:54.000 Those monkeys that are the most like us.

00:11:56.000 They're the most human acting apes.

00:11:58.000 Chapaquin, I can't remember.

00:12:00.000 Anyway, my son's watching it, and he's eating popcorn, and he thinks he recognizes one of them from another movie.

00:12:06.000 And he goes, oh, I like this.

00:12:07.000 He kind of has a bit of a lift.

00:12:09.000 And he goes, oh, I like this monkey actress. 1.00

00:12:14.000 Which is what I said when Jada Pinkett Smith did her video about the Oscars.

00:12:18.000 This is not the first time McInnis has made incendiary remarks, but despite this, Fox News continues to allow him to appear on their network and spew his hateful rhetoric.

00:12:26.000 For more on this and other stories, please visit Media Matters.

00:12:29.000 What a nerd.

00:12:30.000 Spew his hateful rhetoric.

00:12:31.000 Is that what that was?

00:12:33.000 Or was it a joke based on how kids talk?

00:12:36.000 But remember, I was making fun of her because she started the Oscar Sol White thing where she spoke at that magic hour where the sun is pouring into the living room about how racist America is because she wasn't nominated.

00:12:49.000 Ugh, what a cunt. 1.00

00:12:51.000 You can just tell she's a bitch. 1.00

00:12:52.000 Like Janelle Monet.

00:12:54.000 You look at her and you go, I bet you're a cunt. 1.00

00:12:58.000 And she sat there, like sitting on her leg, The way people do when they want to be annoying. 0.64

00:13:02.000 And she said, Here's what I do know.

00:13:05.000 I hate that expression.

00:13:07.000 Here's what I do know.

00:13:08.000 Ugh.

00:13:09.000 And she talked about how racist the Oscars are.

00:13:12.000 And then, of course, that same episode, we looked it up.

00:13:14.000 And about 14% of the Oscars go to black people.

00:13:18.000 You know, exactly in accordance to how they are represented in the population.

00:13:23.000 Muslims are 1% of the population.

00:13:25.000 They probably get about 1% of the Oscars.

00:13:27.000 If anything, the Oscars is woke.

00:13:30.000 Which is why you have a career, Jada.

00:13:35.000 Do you have that?

00:13:36.000 Her doing a little speech? 0.95

00:13:43.000 Type it away there.

00:13:44.000 You're hacking into the mainframe?

00:13:46.000 I was trying to get ahead and type that get that SNL bit going because that link was dead.

00:13:55.000 Okay.

00:13:57.000 Well, let's focus on the matter at hand here, which is getting Jay to Pinkett Smith.

00:14:02.000 I might not have even referenced the SNL sketch.

00:14:05.000 Ryan is, of course, referring to something in my notes by John Mulaney playing a monkey judge, which is incredibly hilarious. 0.96

00:14:15.000 Okay.

00:14:17.000 Nope.

00:14:22.000 Sorry, folks.

00:14:23.000 Lull in the show.

00:14:25.000 At any rate, another reason I know that the hit was real is the way Chris Rock acted after.

00:14:33.000 He had to deliver jokes, and to deliver jokes well, you need to be 100% chill.

00:14:40.000 And he obviously was not chill.

00:14:42.000 His blood was coursing through his veins like a fucking torrent.

00:14:47.000 So anyway, give up on Jada Pinkett Smith's speech for now and go back to the entire thing, that thing, yeah.

00:14:55.000 Stubble on her head.

00:14:56.000 That's not cancer.

00:15:02.000 That was a nice one.

00:15:03.000 Okay.

00:15:04.000 Stop.

00:15:05.000 Also, look how happy he is, too.

00:15:06.000 He's laughing.

00:15:07.000 He's having a great time.

00:15:08.000 He looks like a racist caricature of a black man.

00:15:12.000 And it was a nice one.

00:15:13.000 By the way, G.I. Jane is a badass. 1.00

00:15:16.000 She's a really cool person.

00:15:17.000 It's not like some racist portrayal of anything.

00:15:21.000 It's got zero to do with race.

00:15:23.000 And she was very attractive.

00:15:25.000 It was Demi Moore at like her peak. 0.97

00:15:28.000 She was probably 30 years old in that movie. 1.00

00:15:30.000 She looked amazing and bald on purpose. 1.00

00:15:34.000 So it was a very politically correct joke.

00:15:37.000 One of many ass-kissing jokes.

00:15:42.000 So I don't know if this is...

00:15:44.000 I looked up Jada Pinkett Smith.

00:15:45.000 Jada Pinkett Smith's response to Chris Rock's diss at the Oscars.

00:15:49.000 This is from 2017.

00:15:51.000 2016.

00:15:53.000 Oh, that's why he said keep your my wife's name out your fucking mouth. 1.00

00:15:58.000 So this has been building up.

00:16:00.000 Let's see what she says.

00:16:02.000 Jada Pinkett Smith reacts to Chris Rock calling her out at the Oscars.

00:16:07.000 Oh, it's a thing.

00:16:12.000 Pinkett Smith for boycotting the show during his opening monologue.

00:16:16.000 The actress responded to the comedian's joke, seemingly taking it all in stride.

00:16:22.000 Hey, look, it comes with the territory, but we gotta keep it moving.

00:16:24.000 We got a lot of stuff we gotta handle.

00:16:27.000 A lot of stuff going on in our world right now.

00:16:29.000 Oh, God.

00:16:32.000 E.T. caught up with actress Angela Bassett lasted.

00:16:34.000 He did it.

00:16:37.000 So he just made fun of her.

00:16:38.000 So what did he say?

00:16:39.000 Good question.

00:16:40.000 He probably made fun of her for the Oscar So White thing.

00:16:42.000 I'm drinking bud like medicine because my hangover is so bad.

00:16:49.000 Yeah, I would need you to find Jada Pinkett Smith on the couch doing her stupid talk. 1.00

00:16:55.000 And I need you to find we have to finish watching that clip.

00:17:00.000 And we need Crip Daddy on the line.

00:17:02.000 A lot of shit going down.

00:17:04.000 Lot of shit.

00:17:05.000 A lot of racial shit this year.

00:17:11.000 Oh, so yeah.

00:17:17.000 That was a nice one.

00:17:18.000 Okay.

00:17:19.000 I'm out of here.

00:17:20.000 Oh, Richard.

00:17:27.000 Wow.

00:17:30.000 Will Smith just smack the shit out of me.

00:17:33.000 See, that's real.

00:17:35.000 He wasn't leaning into it.

00:17:38.000 Wow, dude.

00:17:40.000 It was a G.I. Jane joke.

00:17:48.000 I'm going to, okay?

00:17:50.000 He's the prince of Wakanda now.

00:17:53.000 Yeah.

00:17:54.000 And Chris Rock has lost all his bedstead credit.

00:17:59.000 Okay, turn it up.

00:18:00.000 Look how awkward he is now.

00:18:03.000 So we are here to give a documentary out.

00:18:08.000 To give an Oscar out for best documentary.

00:18:11.000 Now, the beauty of documentaries, because they make you, when you watch one, you feel.

00:18:16.000 You know another thing, by the way, about celebrities?

00:18:19.000 They don't have human contact.

00:18:21.000 So getting hit in the face hasn't happened to him probably since 1982.

00:18:26.000 And he has no file in his brain for these feelings.

00:18:31.000 And he doesn't practice combat sports or anything.

00:18:34.000 So getting hit is like he wants to go backstage now and rant and tweet and have someone canceled and fired.

00:18:42.000 And, you know, they're monarchs, these people are aristocracy.

00:18:45.000 And when reality hits them in the face, they have no idea what to do.

00:18:52.000 Oh, there we go.

00:18:55.000 Look at her.

00:18:56.000 Today is Martin Luther King's birthday.

00:18:59.000 And I can't help but ask the question, is it time that people of color recognize how much power, influence that we have amassed?

00:19:10.000 Influence, remember that?

00:19:11.000 We no longer need to ask to be invited anywhere.

00:19:15.000 Just pause here.

00:19:16.000 Do you get what she's saying?

00:19:18.000 First of all, she's citing Martin Luther King while she bitches about not winning enough awards. 1.00

00:19:24.000 Like, did you play the claw game and waste 40 bucks trying to pick up an old Rubik's Cube keychain?

00:19:32.000 What the fuck is she talking about?

00:19:34.000 I need more awards.

00:19:35.000 So, solution, black people boycott the Oscars. 0.95

00:19:40.000 I think she thinks blacks.

00:19:41.000 Well, she clearly.

00:19:44.000 What was that?

00:19:46.000 This was an article about how they're boycotting the Oscars.

00:19:50.000 Spike Lee.

00:19:50.000 She clearly thinks that blacks are more than 14% of the population.

00:19:55.000 That's why she's mortified that they only win about 10% of the awards.

00:19:59.000 She thinks they're like 50% of the population because she listens to black radio and fucking watches BET and all her people around her are black. 1.00

00:20:06.000 And the next thing you know, she just assumes that we is Kangs diminishes power. 0.91

00:20:15.000 This was written by a white person, by the way.

00:20:17.000 Let's not forget it.

00:20:20.000 Spikely's joining the boycott.

00:20:22.000 What boycott?

00:20:23.000 Did it even happen?

00:20:28.000 Oh, both.

00:20:30.000 You know what?

00:20:30.000 I would love to ask both of these people if I could get them in a room.

00:20:33.000 What's eight times seven?

00:20:36.000 How do you spell bequeathed?

00:20:42.000 It'd be great if the they were like, let's just give up, now that the boycott's happening, let's give the awards to black people, but they're not here to accept this award, so we're going to have to give it to somebody else. 1.00

00:20:52.000 Sorry.

00:20:52.000 We're giving it to Harvey Weinstein and David Duke.

00:20:58.000 So go back to her stupid talk, or was that it? 1.00

00:21:00.000 Done?

00:21:01.000 Oh, no.

00:21:01.000 It's like.

00:21:02.000 I don't think that boycott ever happened.

00:21:04.000 She threatened a boycott.

00:21:05.000 Spikely joined her, and then next thing you know, she's at the fucking Oscars. 0.99

00:21:09.000 Hi.

00:21:10.000 So let's see the 2017 joke.

00:21:12.000 Okay, I think I got it.

00:21:14.000 Well, it's right there in the corner.

00:21:16.000 That must be it.

00:21:17.000 That's a 10-minute monologue, but I think...

00:21:22.000 Hey! 0.99

00:21:24.000 Well, I'm here at the Academy Awards, otherwise known as the White People's Choice Awards.

00:21:33.000 You realize if they nominated host, I wouldn't even get this job.

00:21:40.000 So y'all be watching Neil Patrick Harris right now.

00:21:45.000 But ain't the crazy thing.

00:21:48.000 This is the wildest, craziest Oscars to ever host because we got all this controversy.

00:21:54.000 No, wait a couple years.

00:21:56.000 No black nominees, you know?

00:21:59.000 And people are like, Chris, you should boycott.

00:22:01.000 Chris, you should quit.

00:22:02.000 You should quit.

00:22:03.000 You know, how come it's only unemployed people to tell you to quit something, huh?

00:22:12.000 White people are scared to clap. 0.90

00:22:19.000 But I realized they're going to have the Oscars anyway.

00:22:22.000 They're not going to cancel the Oscars with the money.

00:22:24.000 Apparently it's at 226?

00:22:26.000 Well, this is all part of the rage.

00:22:36.000 Kev right there.

00:22:37.000 Kevin make movies fast.

00:22:40.000 Every month, porno stars don't make movies that fast.

00:22:45.000 Slightly edgy.

00:22:46.000 The thing is, why are we protesting?

00:22:48.000 That's the big question.

00:22:50.000 Why this Oscars?

00:22:52.000 Why this Oscars?

00:22:53.000 You know?

00:22:54.000 It's the 88th Academy Awards.

00:22:56.000 You know what's interesting about watching this?

00:22:58.000 That's 2017.

00:23:00.000 There's a totally different vibe.

00:23:04.000 And the vibe is, I'm sick of living in this racist country, and it's time we stood up for ourselves.

00:23:10.000 And then there was two years of rioting and bullshit and affirmative action and trans kindergarten teachers. 0.95

00:23:18.000 And you wouldn't get that kind of attitude now.

00:23:21.000 Like, this is pre-temper tantrum.

00:23:23.000 Then there was a two-year temper tantrum.

00:23:25.000 Now, when you say that kind of shit, people go, nah.

00:23:29.000 It's like this meme I saw where it was like 2014, that's racist.

00:23:33.000 No, it isn't.

00:23:35.000 And then 2018, that's racist.

00:23:39.000 How dare you?

00:23:40.000 And then, oh, I don't care.

00:23:42.000 And then it was like 2025, that's racist.

00:23:45.000 And then it was, I'm glad you noticed.

00:23:49.000 That's where we're headed now.

00:23:51.000 It's over.

00:23:53.000 It's amazing that that was only in 2017.

00:23:55.000 That was like pre-racism in many ways.

00:23:59.000 You know what I mean?

00:24:00.000 Like back in 2017, George Floyd, everything, what was it?

00:24:06.000 The F place.

00:24:08.000 The riots, the first riots.

00:24:10.000 Ferguson.

00:24:11.000 Pre-Ferguson, everyone was like, okay, yeah, we got to fix this.

00:24:14.000 It was like 1969 all over again, right after Martin Luther King was assassinated.

00:24:18.000 Then there was two years of bad behavior, and now it's like, fuck you.

00:24:22.000 No.

00:24:23.000 So that was back when everyone was, all the woke liberals were like winning.

00:24:29.000 Man, apparently Will Smith was like really ashamed afterwards.

00:24:35.000 Well, he's a hero.

00:24:36.000 Who's in after him?

00:24:38.000 Oh, poor guy.

00:24:46.000 He's singing to himself.

00:24:49.000 This guy did that.

00:24:50.000 I told you about that guy who does that at the gym, right?

00:24:52.000 Yes.

00:24:53.000 He puts on his own trap music.

00:24:56.000 The audacity.

00:24:58.000 One more thing about the Oscars.

00:24:59.000 You notice how John Travolta reacted when they did the gay thing? 1.00

00:25:08.000 Everybody's like, yeah, this is funny.

00:25:10.000 Everybody straight is like laughing.

00:25:12.000 They're like, haha, it was cool.

00:25:14.000 John Travolta's like, gays are fine, I guess.

00:25:17.000 I don't know.

00:25:20.000 What's a gay? 0.99

00:25:21.000 What is a gay? 0.92

00:25:23.000 Well, you know what's weird?

00:25:24.000 When it started, I was making funny quips about their pants and stuff on the red carpet.

00:25:28.000 And I thought, why the fuck aren't we live streaming this?

00:25:32.000 God's been speaking to me recently, by the way.

00:25:35.000 I'll look up a word and it'll come on the radio at the same time, like death.

00:25:39.000 One time I had like three different death things on Friday when I saw you, right after I saw you.

00:25:46.000 I took my motorcycle out of storage, was bringing it home, and something said, don't go on the highway.

00:25:51.000 And then I said, I'm getting on the fucking highway.

00:25:52.000 Fuck you.

00:25:53.000 I almost got into an accident.

00:25:55.000 I saw death three times and then I got on the highway despite what the voices were.

00:25:59.000 And I was Getting into the slow lane to exit, and some guy had been whipping by on the slow lane at like 100 miles an hour.

00:26:07.000 And God told me you should live stream these Oscars, and then a few minutes later, kaboom.

00:26:14.000 Speaking of God and death, rest in peace, Foo Fighters.

00:26:20.000 Did a lot of drugs.

00:26:24.000 Speaking of Taylor Hawkins and slaps, you know that Prince Harry once slapped Taylor Hawkins.

00:26:29.000 No.

00:26:30.000 He said, I'm really tired.

00:26:31.000 How you doing?

00:26:32.000 You all right?

00:26:33.000 I don't know, man.

00:26:33.000 I'm so fucking tired.

00:26:34.000 We slept two hours on the plane.

00:26:35.000 We just did a show in America.

00:26:37.000 And he goes, slaps him across the face.

00:26:40.000 You wake now?

00:26:41.000 And he went, oh, fuck you.

00:26:44.000 So you got slapped by the prince, is that right?

00:26:45.000 I went to the hospital, and the first guy I read who visited.

00:26:50.000 I don't like the Foo Fighters.

00:26:53.000 They're the only band allowed to be a rock band and be popular.

00:26:56.000 So you just kind of have to take it.

00:26:58.000 I mean, they're good live.

00:26:59.000 And, you know, he's not a hack at guitar.

00:27:02.000 If you try to learn his songs, you're like, what the fuck?

00:27:04.000 I don't know.

00:27:05.000 He's playing complex shit and singing.

00:27:07.000 He's a good musician.

00:27:09.000 But definitely not my favorite brand of music.

00:27:12.000 Thanks for that.

00:27:13.000 He's the only rock band that are allowed to exist.

00:27:16.000 So they're important.

00:27:18.000 I guess, sure.

00:27:19.000 You got Crip Daddy on the line?

00:27:21.000 Oh, I think we can get some Crip.

00:27:25.000 Let's get Crippy with it. 0.93

00:27:26.000 No, no, no, no, no, no.

00:27:28.000 Yeah, I saw Trevor Noah partying with Will Smith.

00:27:31.000 Like, everyone thinks he's awesome because not so much that he slapped Chris Rock, but that celebrities used to be gods, then they became the laughingstock by their own fault.

00:27:43.000 They were hoisted on their own retard through Twitter and social media and Jada Pickett Smith doing idiotic videos like that. 1.00

00:27:50.000 Here's what I do know.

00:27:51.000 We are powerful and we are real.

00:27:54.000 All that shit demystified them.

00:27:57.000 So what Will Smith did last night was say, all right, I guess we're never going to be Kangs again as celebrities, but we're not going to be targets.

00:28:06.000 We're not going to be mocked.

00:28:08.000 Watch this.

00:28:11.000 Whack.

00:28:12.000 And I think Hollywood was like, I'll take it.

00:28:16.000 We're never going to be Humphrey Bogart and Betty Davis again, but I'll take don't fuck with us.

00:28:22.000 Apparently.

00:28:23.000 Beats the laughingstock.

00:28:24.000 Chris Karak is not taking this new bill very seriously, H.R. 2116, creating a respectful and open world for natural hair act of 2022 to prohibit discrimination based on individuals' texture or hairstyle.

00:28:36.000 And with that said, now that that's in place, I'm going to let my natural fly.

00:28:42.000 And if you say anything about it, you're breaking the laws.

00:28:46.000 Your hair is boring.

00:28:48.000 You talk about it way too much.

00:28:49.000 You play with it like a faggot because you have low testosterone. 1.00

00:28:53.000 And the fact that you put a hat on at work is profoundly embarrassing.

00:28:58.000 We have Crypt Daddy online.

00:29:00.000 And not just to you, but your entire generation wearing hats at work.

00:29:04.000 Like the guy Fleckis' co-host there always has his stupid Carhartt hat on.

00:29:10.000 Or, of course, Tim Poole.

00:29:12.000 Do you guys know how embarrassing you look?

00:29:14.000 You might as well have mittens on.

00:29:16.000 You're wearing a winter hat indoors.

00:29:20.000 You wear it all summer.

00:29:21.000 You know why?

00:29:22.000 Because your hair looks cooler when it's like kind of hot hoodie because it's been like straightened and it's kind of flow.

00:29:31.000 That's gay and self-centered. 1.00

00:29:35.000 You have a myopic obsession with yourself.

00:29:39.000 I'm embarrassed.

00:29:40.000 If you could turn your mic on, Crip, Daddy, isn't it for your generation? 0.88

00:29:43.000 My mic?

00:29:44.000 Yes.

00:29:45.000 My mic is on shit for brains.

00:29:46.000 Okay.

00:29:49.000 Hi, Crip.

00:29:50.000 Hey, hello.

00:29:52.000 How are you today?

00:29:53.000 Good.

00:29:54.000 I was just being a faggot and playing with my hair. 1.00

00:29:56.000 Yeah, you're allowed to style your hair when you wake up.

00:29:59.000 That's what people have been doing since probably the 1400s.

00:30:03.000 But it's these fucking hats.

00:30:06.000 Yeah.

00:30:07.000 It's kind of anti-Semitic, too, because Jews with curly hair will wear their hat to try to straighten their hair like they're not proud of their curls.

00:30:15.000 Oh, is that why they do it?

00:30:17.000 Yeah.

00:30:17.000 I thought that was just where they put the little device that controls the weather in.

00:30:22.000 They put their tinfoil under it.

00:30:24.000 They hide their yarmulcas under their wool hat.

00:30:26.000 Yeah, that's what it is.

00:30:27.000 Did you see the infamous slap last night?

00:30:30.000 Oh, buddy.

00:30:30.000 I've been up all night making jokes about it.

00:30:33.000 Give us your top 10.

00:30:35.000 Oh, man.

00:30:36.000 My favorite one is despite black actors only making up 6% of the Oscar winners, they make up all of the assaults. 1.00

00:30:47.000 Oh, you got to say 100% of the assaults.

00:30:49.000 100%.

00:30:50.000 Sorry.

00:30:51.000 I'm still trying to get my racist boots on.

00:30:54.000 I'll help you with any racist tips you need.

00:30:57.000 Now, the jury is out as far as how real it was.

00:31:00.000 I think it was real, but people say that he leaned into it.

00:31:04.000 He didn't expect it to be that big of a slap, but a slap was definitely pre-written.

00:31:08.000 What do you think?

00:31:10.000 I think that we are giving Hollywood a bit too much credit for doing something cool and interesting instead of this just being two petty black people being petty. 1.00

00:31:25.000 Yeah, good point.

00:31:26.000 They've never done anything remotely fun at all.

00:31:29.000 I mean, they, well, was Ricky Gervais, he wasn't the Oscars, was he?

00:31:34.000 I feel like I made the joke that he was, but I don't think he might have been.

00:31:38.000 Or it might have been the Emmys or some shit.

00:31:40.000 Yeah, I think it was a little more hip.

00:31:42.000 But the Oscars has been stultifyingly dull.

00:31:45.000 You can list on one hand anything that was remotely unusual, and it was always the actors.

00:31:49.000 Like there was Marlon Brando had that chick, that Indian woman, come up and accept the Oscar because we're too mean to Indians or some bullshit. 0.99

00:31:59.000 And then there was Gone with the Wind, where they said no Negroes, but Clark Gable or whoever said, no, no, I want my fellow Negro to come on the, at least be able to sit with us.

00:32:09.000 Ooh.

00:32:10.000 Both of those were 100 years ago.

00:32:12.000 Yeah, Golden Globes was Ricky Gervais.

00:32:15.000 So, yeah, you're right.

00:32:16.000 All the jokes were fucking dull, and there's no way they would do something as exciting as keep my wife's name out your fucking mouth. 1.00

00:32:26.000 Yeah, no.

00:32:27.000 I don't think that Will Smith is capable of Being anything other than completely unhinged at this point.

00:32:34.000 I heard he was a fag. 1.00

00:32:36.000 That didn't make sense.

00:32:38.000 That adds up.

00:32:39.000 That would explain Jada Pinkett Smith getting all that ancillary cock. 1.00

00:32:46.000 He probably wants her in Tupac Punk all the time. 1.00

00:32:52.000 Say you were Chris Rock, and Will Smith came and slapped you.

00:32:56.000 What's your next line?

00:32:58.000 I'm doubling down and saying that you couldn't make me fall out of my chair, but your wife's hair fell out of her head. 1.00

00:33:08.000 Oh, that's a good one.

00:33:11.000 Yeah, I would say something like, nice work, Will.

00:33:14.000 Way to bring the black race back 50 years. 1.00

00:33:17.000 We finally get up here, despite what your cunt wife says. 1.00

00:33:21.000 We're finally up here and being represented, and then you bring it back to world star hip-hop.

00:33:25.000 Way to go, moron, you ghetto. 1.00

00:33:31.000 Yeah.

00:33:32.000 I just think it would have been better if he doubled down and just went twice as hard the way any comedian should have.

00:33:39.000 Right.

00:33:39.000 Well, he's so famous and so coddled and so pampered that he was totally floored by the slap.

00:33:46.000 And the remaining jokes he did were so fucking awkward.

00:33:52.000 Yeah.

00:33:53.000 You can't act like it didn't happen.

00:33:56.000 You need to lean into it for the entirety of while you're up there now.

00:34:01.000 That's your job.

00:34:02.000 Yeah.

00:34:03.000 Look at Sid Vicious in their last show in Texas where he gets smashed in the face.

00:34:07.000 He's got blood pouring down his face and he just finishes the set.

00:34:11.000 Rock it out.

00:34:12.000 That's what you do.

00:34:13.000 You got to commit to the bit.

00:34:17.000 Yeah, I would, you know, at that point, just fucking get World Star in next year.

00:34:22.000 They sponsor.

00:34:23.000 They host.

00:34:25.000 We can turn it around.

00:34:26.000 Make the Oscars black.

00:34:27.000 Really black. 1.00

00:34:29.000 I got to say, your whole pretending to be crippled thing is really effective. 1.00

00:34:34.000 You have the voice down.

00:34:35.000 You sound exactly like that.

00:34:37.000 I am beyond angry, guy.

00:34:40.000 Yep.

00:34:40.000 And the way you make your wrists go like that and never falter.

00:34:43.000 Beyond angry.

00:34:45.000 I've never seen you straighten your hand or do anything.

00:34:48.000 You have committed to this character.

00:34:50.000 Oh, yeah.

00:34:50.000 No, I'm making Daniel Day-Lewis look like a fucking bitch.

00:34:56.000 All right.

00:34:56.000 Well, thanks for coming on the show, dude.

00:34:58.000 Let's check in tomorrow.

00:34:59.000 Absolutely.

00:35:00.000 All right.

00:35:01.000 Do your bath on Wednesday so we have plenty of crip time.

00:35:06.000 Bye.

00:35:11.000 Okay.

00:35:12.000 I do wanted to get to this.

00:35:14.000 I do wanted to get to.

00:35:16.000 Did you just get slapped by Will Smith?

00:35:21.000 Are we...

00:35:24.000 Should I...

00:35:27.000 I wanted to talk about racism, but I have to...

00:35:34.000 Whoa.

00:35:36.000 That is how you act, too, when you get punched.

00:35:38.000 Sometimes in sparring, I get punched in the face so hard that I put my arms down and go, whoa.

00:35:46.000 Like, it is a reboot.

00:35:49.000 And that's why cops do it. 0.77

00:35:50.000 People are so outraged when they see an arrest and they see a cop going like that.

00:35:54.000 They assume that that's not what you're supposed to do.

00:35:56.000 Yes, you're supposed to do that.

00:35:58.000 It unplugs the computer and plugs it back in again.

00:36:03.000 It's a wake-up call.

00:36:05.000 Anyway, I want to get into racism, but before we do, and it would be great if I just jumped right into racism because that's kind of the theme we've been talking about so far.

00:36:14.000 But I can't let this wait till tomorrow.

00:36:16.000 This is the fucking craziest story I've heard in forever.

00:36:19.000 And I've been obsessed with it all weekend.

00:36:22.000 So I think it was Saturday morning I learned Ben Dominic.

00:36:26.000 He's the Dominic, Dominic.

00:36:29.000 I knew him way before he met Megan McCain and became fat.

00:36:31.000 He used to be a slender hunk.

00:36:33.000 And then I guess he moved down south where they love their chicken, their fried, deep fried foods.

00:36:39.000 And him and Megan just fucking barbecued themselves into obesity.

00:36:43.000 But he's still a great guy.

00:36:45.000 He's just very chubby.

00:36:46.000 And so he runs the Federalist.

00:36:49.000 Fantastic website.

00:36:50.000 A little too highbrow for my taste.

00:36:52.000 I like garbage culture.

00:36:54.000 I'm punk and tacky.

00:36:56.000 But it's a fantastic website.

00:36:58.000 Oh my God.

00:36:59.000 He was gorgeous.

00:37:01.000 I remember him saying to me, like, I did want to get you on the Federalist doing the podcast and stuff, but, you know, you're so controversial.

00:37:08.000 It's such a headache.

00:37:09.000 And I have to figure out a way to get you in.

00:37:11.000 I was like, Ben, you've assumed that I'm dying to be part of the Federalist.

00:37:15.000 Like, that's not a thing.

00:37:18.000 Pre-Megan, post-Megan.

00:37:21.000 Look, he grew a beard to try to hide this spherical nature of his head.

00:37:26.000 It's pretty obvious, dude.

00:37:28.000 It's what a beanie is to balding, a beard is to fatting.

00:37:33.000 I remember I was on Kennedy with Megan McCain once, and one of the girls had stilettos.

00:37:39.000 And Megan said something like, oh, girl, those are bedroom shoes. 0.99

00:37:44.000 You show those to a man, and he's yours forever.

00:37:47.000 And she was wearing stilettos, too.

00:37:49.000 And it popped in my head that I would love to fuck her. 1.00

00:37:52.000 She's probably a fantastic lay. 1.00

00:37:54.000 But I was married, and now she is too.

00:37:57.000 Megan and McCain and I will never fuck.

00:38:02.000 Isn't that amazing?

00:38:04.000 Oh, she was Slender One too. 1.00

00:38:07.000 God, their chef is too good for his own britches.

00:38:12.000 He's too good for their britches. 0.99

00:38:13.000 They had to get all new britches. 0.99

00:38:15.000 Anyway, sorry, what a dumb tangent.

00:38:17.000 So anyway, this is fucking crazy.

00:38:20.000 Vox workers go on strike.

00:38:22.000 Why did they go on strike?

00:38:24.000 I want to do a green screen of this later.

00:38:25.000 There's this sort of assumption that all of this left-wing journalism is really good.

00:38:30.000 And we really give a shit about bathrooms and fucking trans this and why that dude deserved to win in the female swimming. 1.00

00:38:39.000 All their dumb, woke shit, they think has merit.

00:38:43.000 I don't understand why.

00:38:44.000 You've been taught it since kindergarten, so you think you're a real journalist.

00:38:48.000 No.

00:38:48.000 If you work at Wapo and Daily Beast and HuffPo, you're working at a cat block.

00:38:53.000 You're working at Gawker.

00:38:54.000 You're a joke.

00:38:56.000 So they go on strike.

00:38:59.000 They don't Understand that their whole job is a charity.

00:39:02.000 This goes for vice too.

00:39:04.000 Post-Gav vice.

00:39:06.000 It's just charity.

00:39:07.000 But then they go, Well, I need more money.

00:39:10.000 I'm only getting paid $20 an article.

00:39:13.000 You deserve less.

00:39:15.000 I deserve $20 to read your article.

00:39:17.000 You should be paying people to read your shit, which used to happen back in the free market days in the early 90s.

00:39:23.000 If you sucked, you'd have a fanzine and you'd give it out for free.

00:39:26.000 In other words, you were paying people to read your garbage.

00:39:30.000 Like Voice of Montreal.

00:39:33.000 But no, we made a profit with ads.

00:39:36.000 But these people go on strike because they think that they have value.

00:39:41.000 Anyway, I'm dragging this out way too long.

00:39:43.000 I'll let Ben explain it.

00:39:44.000 Play the thingamajink.

00:40:05.000 I tweeted out, FYI at Federalist, first one of you tries to unionize, I swear I'll send you back to the salt mine.

00:40:13.000 Federalist employees were amused.

00:40:15.000 They joked about selling branded salt shakers and writing sympathetic vignettes about union rebels from the Federalist salt mines.

00:40:22.000 Then things took an unfunny turn.

00:40:24.000 The National Labor Relations Board informed me a random person on Twitter, someone who's never been a Federalist media employee, filed a formal complaint about my tweet, claiming my Twitter joke constituted an unfair labor practice.

00:40:40.000 Yes, that's right.

00:40:42.000 A stranger to my organization claimed to be an aggrieved person under the National Labor Relations Act because he, unlike the Federalists' actual employees, did not find my joke amusing.

00:40:53.000 He alleged I had violated Section 8A1 of the NLRA, which says it is an unfair labor practice for an employer to interfere with, restrain, or coerce employees in the exercise of their rights to organize or join units.

00:41:07.000 Okay, so you get the idea.

00:41:08.000 So it's off to court now.

00:41:10.000 On the taxpayer's dollar, of course.

00:41:12.000 And this is what I said to Ron Coleman.

00:41:14.000 I go, why do judges exist if we're all autobots?

00:41:21.000 Automatrons?

00:41:22.000 We're all robots.

00:41:23.000 What the fuck?

00:41:25.000 Any adult male, and probably a lot of 12-year-olds, would see that and go, yeah, no, he wasn't serious.

00:41:31.000 Anyway, this doesn't.

00:41:33.000 Get this off my desk.

00:41:34.000 I don't want this.

00:41:36.000 It's not real.

00:41:37.000 But they go, okay, that's fucked up.

00:41:39.000 Yeah, we'll start pressing charges.

00:41:41.000 Do we even have salt mines in America?

00:41:44.000 Where do we get our salt from?

00:41:47.000 We should just get it from the ocean.

00:41:48.000 It's right there.

00:41:49.000 I can almost see the ocean out my window.

00:41:53.000 Although, what are we, what's it called when you're sort of saltwater, but sort of not?

00:41:58.000 I think the Hudson is like flacker or whatever it's called.

00:42:01.000 Why am I asking Ryan that?

00:42:05.000 I guess I assumed he'd look it up.

00:42:07.000 But there is zero, literally zero percent chance someone at the Federalist is concerned that they will end up in the salt mines.

00:42:19.000 What?

00:42:20.000 And this started in June of 2019.

00:42:24.000 It's 2022.

00:42:26.000 Three years this has been going through the courts?

00:42:28.000 How much fucking money has been wasted on this mediocre joke?

00:42:33.000 It's not even an adventurous joke.

00:42:35.000 You know what an adventurous joke would be?

00:42:37.000 It would be a formal letter sent to all the employees explaining what salt mine they'd be going to to make it look totally believable.

00:42:45.000 So some of them believed it.

00:42:47.000 Like if you could actually convince a third of your employees that you were considering sending them to a salt mine, well, first of all, you can't do that.

00:42:55.000 You just quit.

00:42:56.000 You can't make me go anywhere.

00:42:59.000 Like the joke can't be taken literally.

00:43:01.000 It's impossible.

00:43:03.000 Hey, Ryan, go to the salt mines.

00:43:06.000 No, thank you.

00:43:07.000 Yes, you have to.

00:43:10.000 How?

00:43:11.000 I'm making you go to the salt mine in Okanagua.

00:43:16.000 Here I go.

00:43:18.000 How do I get you there?

00:43:19.000 Like, is there a bus outside?

00:43:21.000 We'll just jump out at the next stop sign.

00:43:25.000 Holy Vey.

00:43:28.000 It looks kind of cool.

00:43:30.000 It does look cool.

00:43:31.000 I'd like to work in a salt mine.

00:43:33.000 Yeah.

00:43:33.000 And, you know, coal mines, you're all dirty and you get black lung.

00:43:38.000 I bet it's kind of good for you to work in a salt mine.

00:43:40.000 Yeah.

00:43:40.000 It's all white.

00:43:41.000 Get some electrolytes, you just lick the walls.

00:43:44.000 Yeah, it looks great.

00:43:45.000 A goat or a ram would love to work in mine.

00:43:48.000 I'd do some hard labor again.

00:43:50.000 Look at that.

00:43:50.000 I don't want to end up like Chris Rock, where getting punched completely fucks my brain up and I can't speak after.

00:43:56.000 Did we ever finish that?

00:43:58.000 Finish the end of the clip when he keeps talking about documentary.

00:44:08.000 Documentary in the danger, that's MC Bass, man.

00:44:13.000 Good song.

00:44:15.000 Okay, that guy's fucking old, man.

00:44:17.000 He must be like 55.

00:44:19.000 I know I'm 51, but I'm not.

00:44:24.000 So this, we now have solved it.

00:44:25.000 This goes back to 2017.

00:44:30.000 Okay.

00:44:33.000 That was a greatest night in the history of television.

00:44:37.000 That wasn't a night.

00:44:37.000 That was an event in a night.

00:44:39.000 I mean, you could say this is the greatest night of...

00:44:42.000 Yeah, but you can't see it.

00:44:43.000 That is kind of a cool quip, though.

00:44:45.000 Yeah.

00:44:46.000 Okay.

00:44:47.000 Okay.

00:44:48.000 Okay.

00:44:50.000 So we are here to give a documentary out, to give an Oscar out for best documentary.

00:44:58.000 Now, the beauty of documentaries, because they make you, when you watch one, you feel smart.

00:45:04.000 Like you watch them, like, you know, like you read a book or something.

00:45:07.000 See, doesn't he sound like...

00:45:08.000 Wait a minute, stop, stop.

00:45:10.000 He sounds like someone has been handed a Chris Rock script and try to be funny like Chris Rock.

00:45:16.000 And he's like, okay, I'll try, but it's not really my style.

00:45:19.000 Whoa.

00:45:20.000 He's outside of himself.

00:45:21.000 He's not Chris Rock.

00:45:23.000 Chris Rock Smith slapped the Chris Rock out of him.

00:45:28.000 He just got rocked, sir.

00:45:29.000 Best smacked or watched him like, you know, like you read a book or something.

00:45:34.000 But all you really did was get high and watch Netflix.

00:45:39.000 That's not how you deliver jokes.

00:45:40.000 And it's not how you deliver jokes, Chris.

00:45:43.000 More importantly, yeah.

00:45:46.000 Somebody hand him a Snickers.

00:45:51.000 That's a great Snicker commercial.

00:45:53.000 Not you when you're done with it.

00:45:54.000 You know what you do?

00:45:55.000 You hand him a Snickers, and then you play the beginning of the video before Will Smith.

00:46:02.000 That was it.

00:46:03.000 Actually, let's do that.

00:46:04.000 Let's hand him a Snickers.

00:46:07.000 I really want to expand our free shit section.

00:46:10.000 Like, I was talking to some people about the site, and they're like, you should bring back debates.

00:46:15.000 No.

00:46:16.000 That's way too much work to get Cornell West and Candace Owens in a room, costs a fucking fortune, takes forever. 0.97

00:46:23.000 I'm not doing that.

00:46:23.000 If someone else wants to do it, go nuts.

00:46:25.000 Go, if you're watching, go set up a debate.

00:46:27.000 I'm not doing that anymore.

00:46:29.000 But I do like the idea of tons of free shit.

00:46:32.000 This will soon be populated with all the things we've ever put for free.

00:46:36.000 So it's all in one place.

00:46:37.000 You could share it with people.

00:46:38.000 And you can share that with your friends.

00:46:39.000 Although you can't share the URL on DMs.

00:46:43.000 Yeah.

00:46:43.000 Now we're going to have to email or text it to someone.

00:46:46.000 An alternate URL.

00:46:48.000 Or if you space out after the period.

00:46:50.000 You put the period, you put space, then .tv or whatever.

00:46:52.000 It's being done.

00:46:53.000 You put dot in square brackets or whatever.

00:46:55.000 Yeah.

00:46:57.000 Okay, so let's just see the end of this so we can.

00:46:59.000 Oh, that was it?

00:47:00.000 Oh, that's it?

00:47:00.000 The Oscars thing?

00:47:01.000 Yeah.

00:47:02.000 Really?

00:47:03.000 Yeah.

00:47:03.000 Fuck.

00:47:04.000 I mean, we could see if we could find this in the middle.

00:47:06.000 All you did was get stone and watch Netflix.

00:47:09.000 I'm doing it better than him.

00:47:11.000 I can't do it as bad as him.

00:47:12.000 You know, you feel smart.

00:47:14.000 You watch a documentary.

00:47:15.000 You feel smart like you read a book or something.

00:47:19.000 And all you really did was smoke a joint and watch Netflix.

00:47:23.000 Chris Rock would be like, people watch a documentary, they feel smart.

00:47:29.000 You ain't smart.

00:47:31.000 You just smoked a joint and watched Netflix.

00:47:37.000 He breaks down Oscar's 2022 speech after hitting Chris Rock.

00:47:41.000 Oh, see, that's another reason I know it's true.

00:47:43.000 Because in his speech, it's all about him.

00:47:47.000 And he says, King Richard, this is the king of Wakanda speaking.

00:47:52.000 King Richard protected his family.

00:47:54.000 And he was all about protecting his family.

00:47:57.000 Not just his kids, but his wife, in case someone said something really unfortunate about his wife.

00:48:02.000 Oh.

00:48:03.000 It didn't go that far, but that's what he was getting at.

00:48:06.000 So he was covering his ass in his speech.

00:48:08.000 And guess what?

00:48:09.000 It worked.

00:48:11.000 And that's how weak we all are.

00:48:14.000 Some perp.

00:48:16.000 Wouldn't that be funny if fucking Chris Rock charged him with assault?

00:48:20.000 Yeah.

00:48:21.000 You charged him with the salt mine?

00:48:23.000 Assalt mine is just about.

00:48:24.000 You got to be able to take abuse.

00:48:27.000 You got to be able to have people talk crazy about you.

00:48:31.000 He means talk shit.

00:48:32.000 In this business, you got to be able to have people disrespecting you.

00:48:38.000 And you got to smile.

00:48:39.000 You got to pretend like that's okay.

00:48:42.000 I want to apologize to the Academy.

00:48:44.000 I want to apologize to all my fellow nominees.

00:48:51.000 I'm ghetto.

00:48:53.000 But I'm black, bitch. 1.00

00:48:57.000 This is a beautiful moment.

00:48:59.000 Wouldn't it be awesome if he said, I have a confession to make.

00:49:04.000 I'm not ashamed of what I did.

00:49:07.000 I am a proud boy.

00:49:10.000 That'd be a good thing.

00:49:10.000 I got my first degree a few days ago.

00:49:14.000 I'm getting my tattoo this week.

00:49:17.000 It's a wonderful organization, gravely misunderstood, but we have a motto.

00:49:22.000 And the proud boys, fuck around and find out.

00:49:26.000 Chris Rock fucked around and he found out.

00:49:29.000 I was giving him his second degree.

00:49:31.000 He actually, I don't know if you saw this, but while it was hitting him, he rapidly named five breakfast cereals.

00:49:38.000 And so after the first punch, we were done.

00:49:40.000 I had a big argument with a proud boy on the weekend about honey nut Cheerios.

00:49:44.000 Are Cheerios and Honey Nut Cheerios two different things?

00:49:48.000 I would say yes.

00:49:50.000 What would you say?

00:49:51.000 That was my case.

00:49:52.000 And he was like, it's like New York, New York.

00:49:56.000 Yeah.

00:49:58.000 It's within Cheerios.

00:50:00.000 It's a type of Cheerios.

00:50:02.000 It's like Catholicism, Protestantism. 0.84

00:50:04.000 They're both Christianity.

00:50:07.000 Okay, but Protestantism and Catholicism are very different.

00:50:11.000 Yeah, I don't know.

00:50:12.000 Oh, fuck.

00:50:12.000 I have the craziest Proud Boy story to tell.

00:50:16.000 Remember this dude, Brandon Vaughan?

00:50:19.000 Sounds a little familiar.

00:50:21.000 So he was in Ottawa, Canada.

00:50:25.000 He was at some like, I don't know, anti-jihad, anti-Sharia thing.

00:50:31.000 And the Jewish Defense League, when Proud Boy started out, the JDL kept showing up to our things and doing security because they're like, you're standing up to radical Islam. 0.94

00:50:40.000 Radical Islam wants to kill us. 1.00

00:50:42.000 So they got along.

00:50:44.000 They were kind of members, really.

00:50:46.000 And so they go, hey, man, we're going to this pro-Israel thing in D.C. Do you want to come down?

00:50:51.000 We'll pay for everything.

00:50:52.000 He goes, sure, I'll fucking come down.

00:50:54.000 So Brandon is a hoser, which is our rednecks, Canadian rednecks.

00:50:58.000 And hoser is like a good scrap because of hockey.

00:51:02.000 So he goes down there.

00:51:04.000 This lunatic Palestinian professor attacks the group.

00:51:07.000 And he's grabbing Israeli flags and breaking the fucking staffs, whatever.

00:51:12.000 And he's pushing people.

00:51:14.000 And so the JDLs are, they start fighting back.

00:51:16.000 This professor jumps Brandon.

00:51:19.000 Brandon gives him a quick tune-up, like pop-pop, shove, sends him down.

00:51:24.000 That's it.

00:51:25.000 This is 2017.

00:51:28.000 And the professor then goes on a rampage.

00:51:31.000 Palestinian attacked by Israelis.

00:51:34.000 That doesn't work, though, because Israelis are Jews are 3% of the population, so it's not fashionable to criticize Jews.

00:51:40.000 But once they found out that he was a proud boy, and he wasn't when he went down, I don't think.

00:51:45.000 I think he joined when he got back.

00:51:47.000 Now we can sink our teeth into that.

00:51:49.000 Proud boys, they're evil.

00:51:51.000 So that's his name, Brandon Vaughn.

00:51:55.000 The Jews just threw him under the bus, totally ignored him. 1.00

00:51:59.000 They paid For his plane ticket.

00:52:00.000 They're the reason he's there.

00:52:02.000 And they pretended they didn't know him.

00:52:04.000 And he gets charged with a hate crime.

00:52:06.000 So I set him up with a lawyer, and we work.

00:52:09.000 And it's very strange the way the courts are acting.

00:52:13.000 They're losing the case.

00:52:14.000 They're forgetting about it.

00:52:16.000 This was fucking five years ago.

00:52:20.000 So the lawyer we get says, look, dude, I think it's coming down to just don't come back to the States.

00:52:26.000 To which Brandon's like, fine, I can't believe this is happening.

00:52:29.000 He hung out there after the shove and was talking to cops and stuff.

00:52:33.000 He didn't get arrested there.

00:52:34.000 And here's a weird thing.

00:52:36.000 He gets back to Ottawa and there's an article in like the Ottawa Citizen or an Ottawa paper that says, not so proud now.

00:52:44.000 And the journalist at the Ottawa Citizen knew about this case and the hate crime charges before Brandon did, before Brandon's lawyer did, before Brandon had a lawyer.

00:52:55.000 And that's the way it kept going.

00:52:56.000 The media kept knowing about this case before we did, before Brandon did.

00:53:02.000 His parents got to know my parents because they're both in Ottawa.

00:53:05.000 His parents came over for dinner and stuff and were lamenting it.

00:53:09.000 Oh, there's a picture, a totally unrelated picture of him getting handcuffed during a hijab hoax protest.

00:53:19.000 Yeah.

00:53:20.000 Completely separate.

00:53:20.000 Yeah.

00:53:22.000 But, you know, you don't read that quickly.

00:53:23.000 You just see the headline, you see the guy.

00:53:25.000 So anyway, years go by.

00:53:29.000 Five years goes by.

00:53:30.000 And he goes, I guess this is over?

00:53:32.000 The fuck was that?

00:53:34.000 And I said to his lawyer, I go, whatever happened with all that?

00:53:37.000 And he goes, I don't know.

00:53:38.000 The last time I spoke to him, we just prayed.

00:53:42.000 And I go, okay, that doesn't sound very effective legal technique, but okay.

00:53:48.000 And about a week ago, no, sorry, about two months ago, the RCMP kicks down his door, grabs him, throws him into a van, drives him to the airport, flies him to DC to face trial for his hate crime.

00:54:08.000 What?

00:54:09.000 Then he gets in front of a judge.

00:54:12.000 The judge says, okay, they set a date, but you have to wait in jail while you're, because you're too dangerous of a flight risk because you're an evil terrorist.

00:54:21.000 They put him in a disgusting shithole of a jail.

00:54:25.000 D.C. is some of the worst jails in the world.

00:54:27.000 And he gets like a brutal, I think, staph infection in there.

00:54:31.000 He almost dies.

00:54:33.000 Anyway, he's there.

00:54:34.000 He's sick.

00:54:35.000 He's in the hospital.

00:54:35.000 He misses his first court date because he's in the hospital, dying of a staph infection from this disgusting jail.

00:54:42.000 And the whole time he's in there, he can't get a hold of anyone.

00:54:46.000 The few times he can talk to his lawyer, his lawyer says, yeah, I talked to everyone involved.

00:54:50.000 They said you're looking at 15 to 25 years.

00:54:55.000 So he goes, okay, I'm just going to kill myself.

00:54:59.000 Fuck it.

00:55:01.000 So he plans to off himself.

00:55:03.000 And he's thinking of ways to do it.

00:55:08.000 And then he shows up in court.

00:55:10.000 He goes through the process yesterday.

00:55:14.000 And they go, or was it yesterday?

00:55:18.000 Maybe it was this morning?

00:55:20.000 It was either Friday or this morning.

00:55:21.000 It was very recently.

00:55:22.000 Past few days.

00:55:23.000 They go, yeah, I don't know.

00:55:25.000 We saw the video.

00:55:26.000 He started it.

00:55:28.000 Misdemeanor, I guess.

00:55:29.000 Wow.

00:55:30.000 Don't worry about it.

00:55:31.000 You're free to go.

00:55:34.000 And I was thinking, were they trying to get him to kill himself?

00:55:38.000 Or were they trying to get him to spill the beans?

00:55:40.000 No one interrogated him.

00:55:42.000 So the idea that he was just there so he would flip on like me or someone doesn't make sense because he never had the opportunity.

00:55:51.000 In fact, that hasn't happened to my knowledge since John Kinsman was taken out of his cell over at Bear Hill Correctional Facility, put in a room, and the CEO said, after January 6th, they go, what's the next plan?

00:56:03.000 What's the next attack?

00:56:05.000 And he goes, what are you offering?

00:56:07.000 He's just having fun with them.

00:56:08.000 Can you get me out of here?

00:56:09.000 He says.

00:56:10.000 They go, no?

00:56:11.000 What are you crazy?

00:56:11.000 We can get you McDonald's.

00:56:13.000 I've told you the story before.

00:56:15.000 He goes, McDonald's is half an hour from here.

00:56:17.000 It's going to be freezing cold when it gets back.

00:56:19.000 You offer me $10 of free frozen garbage to what?

00:56:26.000 Tell you that the next attack is January 12th?

00:56:30.000 So they're not sending their best.

00:56:33.000 So maybe the original plan was to get him to flip, but they didn't get around to interrogating him.

00:56:37.000 That's actually probably the most reasonable theory so far.

00:56:40.000 Anyway, as of 11 a.m. this morning, I had Proud Boys go down there, pick him up at the jail cell, set him up.

00:56:47.000 I don't know.

00:56:47.000 I haven't spoken to him yet.

00:56:49.000 Why don't we text right now?

00:56:50.000 I don't know if he has a passport.

00:56:53.000 They just threw him on a plane.

00:56:58.000 I got Dusty Bogan on my phone rocking out.

00:57:03.000 It kind of seems like a lot of the January 6th things are kind of going towards that way, too.

00:57:07.000 I mean, there were some harsh sentences like a shaman guide, but none of them, to my knowledge, have been over a year, correct?

00:57:16.000 Shaman got four years, five years.

00:57:19.000 Oh, wow.

00:57:20.000 But with good behavior, what is that, two?

00:57:22.000 He's looking at two?

00:57:23.000 No.

00:57:24.000 The best you can get is 80% of your sentence and maybe six months off if you take a bunch of classes and stuff.

00:57:32.000 His lawyer, here's the update.

00:57:33.000 His lawyer called me, and we have no idea when he'll be released, but it'll be today.

00:57:38.000 This is from today.

00:57:40.000 Some of the guys are meeting up in blank to stand by.

00:57:44.000 I spoke with his father.

00:57:44.000 He's very appreciative.

00:57:45.000 My willingness to help.

00:57:46.000 I'll update you as soon as I get info.

00:57:49.000 How fucking insane is that?

00:57:51.000 It is.

00:57:53.000 The guy who grabbed the podium got 75 days.

00:57:58.000 Okay.

00:58:00.000 You would think he was super high profile.

00:58:04.000 That, you know, why did he get less than shaman?

00:58:06.000 What did the shaman do?

00:58:08.000 He was the most visible.

00:58:09.000 It's all about optics.

00:58:11.000 Right.

00:58:12.000 I mean, there was this guy from a tattoo shop, and I was actually looking into it.

00:58:17.000 I was like, right-wing tattoo shops.

00:58:19.000 Because I'm looking for tattoos, and then it's all like, you know, like lefties, like Satan and LGBT. 1.00

00:58:24.000 Like, I want to go to a fucking right-wing.

00:58:27.000 So I was like, all right, I couldn't find right-wing.

00:58:30.000 So I was like, white supremacist tattoo shop.

00:58:32.000 I'm looking for basically Antifa to have listed them as a bad tattoo shop so I can go to them.

00:58:37.000 And this guy from Newburgh, which is kind of where I grew up, he was, I think, an oath keeper.

00:58:43.000 And he's been in jail since after that.

00:58:46.000 But he got his whole.

00:58:48.000 You're blurry.

00:58:49.000 I'm not.

00:58:50.000 Yeah, your background is crystal clear.

00:58:55.000 He got arrested, and he wound up not pleading guilty.

00:59:00.000 And that's going good for him.

00:59:02.000 Him and a couple other guys just basically got nothing.

00:59:05.000 But the guy who pled guilty, he accepted conspiracy charges and shit.

00:59:09.000 So it's like he fell for the scare.

00:59:13.000 So by pleading guilty, he got a shit.

00:59:15.000 Sean and Max pled not guilty and they got four years.

00:59:18.000 So who knows?

00:59:19.000 David Kyriakos was on trial with them and he said, fuck you.

00:59:24.000 I'm brown.

00:59:25.000 You're going to try to make this all about racism.

00:59:27.000 And the jury's going to see my brown skin and go, fuck you.

00:59:30.000 So I'm saying, fuck you.

00:59:31.000 And they went, well, you're in big trouble now.

00:59:34.000 And he goes, I don't think I am.

00:59:35.000 I think you're bluffing.

00:59:36.000 And they went, we're not bluffing.

00:59:38.000 Okay, we're bluffing.

00:59:40.000 You're free to go.

00:59:43.000 So, yeah, I was told that it's good to not take a plea with Jan 6 because they have to prove whatever it is, insurrection, conspiracy charges.

00:59:55.000 They have to prove that.

00:59:56.000 And it's really difficult to prove, especially if you didn't.

00:59:59.000 But the problem with Joe Biggs and Enrique Tario is they're very, anything Nordine is they're very visual.

01:00:07.000 They're well known.

01:00:09.000 So the jury's going to make an example out of them.

01:00:15.000 You know what's one weird thing about that?

01:00:17.000 So when they wrote up this article, this guy Tattoo Shop got Antifa attacked it.

01:00:22.000 They were like, proud boys go home.

01:00:24.000 And the article didn't show a picture of this.

01:00:28.000 It says Antifa did this in spray paint.

01:00:30.000 They said there was an Antifa sticker on the window, and they didn't mention the broken window at all.

01:00:36.000 It was journalists to be punished.

01:00:39.000 It's a terrible article.

01:00:41.000 Like call that person and say, why the fuck didn't you mention the spray paint?

01:00:46.000 Look at this shit.

01:00:47.000 I mean, I've done it a few times.

01:00:48.000 Who is Isabel Keene? 1.00

01:00:50.000 Is that the cunt? 0.94

01:00:52.000 Yeah.

01:00:55.000 Okay, so they mentioned it.

01:00:57.000 There was this one article.

01:00:58.000 They didn't mention that or the Gladys.

01:00:59.000 I'm sitting here saying, we have to contact these journalists, and you're like, that's her.

01:01:02.000 And then I see with my own eyes that she mentions the graffiti and the.

01:01:07.000 That wasn't the one.

01:01:08.000 Right, so don't say, yeah, that's her.

01:01:10.000 There's a couple of articles about it.

01:01:13.000 They didn't mention the guy's name at all in the article.

01:01:16.000 They're just like, here's the tattoo shop affiliated with Oath Keepers or blah, blah, blah.

01:01:20.000 And then out of nowhere, they're like, the shop and Minuta, blah, blah, blah, claims and we're like, who the fuck's Minuta?

01:01:27.000 And then you read further and then they say Robert Minuta.

01:01:31.000 So they mention his name as if you know it.

01:01:33.000 So it's bad editing.

01:01:34.000 It was probably listed there earlier.

01:01:36.000 They cut it out and they didn't see the other places.

01:01:38.000 It's bad art.

01:01:39.000 Incompetent editor.

01:01:41.000 Speaking of incompetence, let's switch gears for a second here.

01:01:45.000 I've been noticing that geniuses aren't that smart.

01:01:48.000 Totally new topic here.

01:01:50.000 Lose the Proud Boys.

01:01:51.000 I'll keep you posted on Brandon.

01:01:55.000 I'm watching Thomas Sowell, and I think intellectualism is dead.

01:02:01.000 This could be a green screen.

01:02:03.000 But I'm watching Thomas Sowell, and I have this book, Black Rednecks, White Liberals.

01:02:08.000 And I'm reading it going, the fucking...

01:02:11.000 So his contention is that the reason you have ghetto culture, like we saw with Will Smith and Chris Rock, is my fault.

01:02:18.000 Scottish people were the first culture that the freed slaves saw in the South.

01:02:24.000 And Scots swear a lot.

01:02:26.000 They're drunk all the time.

01:02:27.000 They fornicate.

01:02:29.000 They pick fights.

01:02:31.000 So that became black culture. 0.92

01:02:33.000 So again, we're blaming the white man for our problems.

01:02:37.000 And how do you explain black behavior in Ghana and Brazil and Finland? 0.97

01:02:46.000 So I started watching these videos that he did.

01:02:50.000 And everyone just accepts that Thomas Sowell is the greatest intellect of our time.

01:02:54.000 He's a black William F. Buckley, right?

01:02:56.000 It's just a given.

01:02:57.000 And I've accepted it as a given.

01:02:59.000 But I'm reading this book going, this guy seems inept.

01:03:02.000 And he also talks about a lot of books that I don't think he's read.

01:03:07.000 And this is, I found this on YouTube where he says, first of all, his contention is that this Celts, the Irish and the Scots, Catholics, are responsible for Southern culture and that's responsible for black bad behavior.

01:03:22.000 Kind of a tenuous list of dominoes there, right?

01:03:25.000 But he calls that the Celtic theory.

01:03:28.000 Okay, I don't think it's a theory, dude, besides you.

01:03:31.000 I'm sure that Scots influence Southern culture, but to pin it on blacks and say that's why blacks behave badly is kind of risky.

01:03:42.000 Anyway, check out this little clip here.

01:03:45.000 It's perhaps the most thorough historical study of the values and behavioral patterns of white southerners.

01:03:50.000 Many other scholarly studies have turned up very similar patterns, even when they differed in some ways as to the causes.

01:03:57.000 Professor David Hackett Fisher's Albion Seed, for example, challenges the Celtic connection thesis put forth by Professor McWiney.

01:04:06.000 Stop.

01:04:08.000 He hasn't read Albion Seed.

01:04:12.000 I got this book because it was on Nick and Milo's America First Reading List.

01:04:16.000 It's very dense.

01:04:17.000 It's hard to get through.

01:04:18.000 It's this fucking thick, too.

01:04:21.000 It doesn't refute anything.

01:04:23.000 The first theory, by the way, the first book he said doesn't say that all of Southern culture is directly related to Scotch-Irish culture.

01:04:32.000 It says that you can see a lot of Scots-Irish influence in Southern culture.

01:04:38.000 It doesn't necessarily say that that's the origin of the South, and it doesn't necessarily say that's the origin of America.

01:04:44.000 Albion Seed is totally unrelated.

01:04:47.000 It doesn't mention the South at all or the Celts.

01:04:51.000 Albion Seed says there are three districts in England that seem, or three or four, that seem to have vastly influenced The entire Northeast.

01:05:02.000 Philadelphia, Boston, New York, all of this, obviously, not New York City, that's the Dutch, but 90% of the Northeast comes from these three small areas in England. 0.59

01:05:14.000 Nothing to do with the South, nothing to do with Scots.

01:05:17.000 But it sounds good if you haven't read either book.

01:05:20.000 And that's when I'm thinking, like, maybe Thomas Sowell's a moron?

01:05:25.000 This is the kind of thing I would do in college, by the way.

01:05:28.000 I would get a book, I'd read the back, I'd read like the first chapter, and then I'd put it in my essay and cite it as a footnote like I read it.

01:05:37.000 And this talk that he's doing here, I think it's someone reading from the book I'm talking about, Black, Red, Next, White Liberals.

01:05:46.000 I think that it's just made up.

01:05:49.000 I think Thomas Sowell might be full of shit.

01:05:52.000 Anyway, keep going with that.

01:05:54.000 But shows many of the same cultural patterns among the same people, both in Britain and in the American South.

01:06:01.000 No.

01:06:02.000 Popular writings of the 19th and 20th centuries have likewise described similar behaviors.

01:06:07.000 I'll be in seed.

01:06:08.000 It's all about the Northeast.

01:06:09.000 What are you talking about, Thomas?

01:06:11.000 You just crowbarred a fancy book into your argument.

01:06:14.000 And then that brings me to Michael Pollan.

01:06:19.000 I used to consider him one of the greatest intellectuals of our time.

01:06:22.000 His book, The Botany of Desire, is one of my favorite books.

01:06:26.000 It's a fascinating book where he says, we don't rule plants.

01:06:29.000 They rule us.

01:06:30.000 Like apples noticed that when they're sweeter, we plant them more.

01:06:34.000 So apples became sweeter.

01:06:35.000 So we'd plant more of them.

01:06:37.000 Apples tasted like fucking gross mush back in the turn of the century, back in the 1900s.

01:06:44.000 But when we started, we were planting them.

01:06:45.000 Johnny Appleseed wasn't planting them because they were yummy for apple pies.

01:06:49.000 He was planting them so we would use them to ferment to make alcohol.

01:06:53.000 That's what we used apples for. 0.77

01:06:54.000 No one ate them.

01:06:55.000 They were gross.

01:06:56.000 But then they started making sweeter ones and apples obliged.

01:07:00.000 Fascinating book, brilliant guy.

01:07:01.000 So I'm watching him on Joe Rogan.

01:07:03.000 And he says that we discovered caffeine in 1650 and that led to the Industrial Revolution.

01:07:12.000 I drank boiling water or hot beverages before.

01:07:15.000 So this gave this incredible public health boost to these places.

01:07:20.000 And then you have the drug that basically fosters a kind of more linear, rational, focused way of thinking.

01:07:28.000 And so there is a lot of evidence linking coffee and tea consumption with the Enlightenment in France and with the Age of Reason in England.

01:07:38.000 And people in the 1600s started writing about it.

01:07:41.000 So they're like, wow, people, you know, we have this new civil and sober drink that we, and it was so popular because it was new, that people drank less and they used more caffeine.

01:07:51.000 And that, I think, makes possible things like the Industrial Revolution because what?

01:08:01.000 The Industrial Revolution was 1800 to 1900.

01:08:04.000 He just said coffee was discovered in 1650.

01:08:09.000 The Industrial Revolution didn't really get its wings until 1850.

01:08:12.000 That's 200 years.

01:08:14.000 It took 200 years of drinking coffee to get going?

01:08:17.000 No, you fucking dunce.

01:08:19.000 Stick to apple trees, moron.

01:08:21.000 The Industrial Revolution happened because Bill Symington, my guy from Lead Hill, Scotland, figured out a way to put the steam engine on its side, and all of a sudden you could mass produce things.

01:08:32.000 Then we had factories.

01:08:33.000 Once you got factories, you got wealth.

01:08:36.000 You got world domination.

01:08:37.000 You have the Industrial Revolution.

01:08:40.000 Coffee?

01:08:40.000 200 years earlier?

01:08:44.000 Maybe it's because I'm getting old, but all my heroes are turning out to be full of shit.

01:08:49.000 Which brings us, of course, to Oxford.

01:08:51.000 I was talking to a friend about this.

01:08:52.000 He just discovered the Otis Simbos. 0.92

01:08:56.000 Oxford.

01:08:57.000 It was considered Cambridge, Oxford, these were the most intelligent academic institutions, not just in the world, but in history.

01:09:08.000 Oxford.

01:09:09.000 And doing a talk at Oxford, it just meant you're a god.

01:09:13.000 Like Michael Pollan and fucking Thomas Sowell wouldn't be invited to Oxford.

01:09:17.000 Now who do we have?

01:09:19.000 Terrence Howard, a man who thinks that one times one is not one.

01:09:24.000 Quite good models in there of how they connect together and how you have managed to put it into a 3D shape rather than just people looking at 2D.

01:09:32.000 Perhaps you wanted to explain a little bit about that.

01:09:34.000 Yeah, the idea of like one of the things I've been saying, the Euclidean mindset has kept us so locked away.

01:09:42.000 Like there's tons of paperwork of Da Vinci working on the flower of life and trying to unravel it.

01:09:49.000 But every single existence, every single example, you see him making straight lines and trying to make these straight lines bend in, and therefore he was never able to open it up.

01:09:59.000 Because all the universe is curved.

01:10:01.000 There's tons of paperwork of Da Vinci.

01:10:05.000 You must love listening to Terrence Howard.

01:10:07.000 You must feel like an intellectual around it.

01:10:10.000 You know who else did a talk at Oxford recently?

01:10:13.000 Curfew.

01:10:13.000 What's her name?

01:10:16.000 Anne Lynn McCord.

01:10:17.000 Remember her?

01:10:18.000 She's the one who said, if I was your mother, Putin, I would have held you close.

01:10:22.000 I would have loved you.

01:10:23.000 That's Anne McCord.

01:10:25.000 Anne Lynn.

01:10:26.000 What kind of name is Anne Lynn? 1.00

01:10:27.000 She has a capital L in the middle of her name.

01:10:31.000 If I was your mother, I would be a start towards the awareness of what a powerful being of light you could be if your mind was only free from the violence you've seen when you were just two or three.

01:10:45.000 I cannot believe I was born too late.

01:10:51.000 So, look, people at ET Canada are laughing at her. 0.98

01:10:56.000 You know you've hit rock bottom, Wayne.

01:10:58.000 But here she is at Oxford.

01:11:06.000 Coming up?

01:11:07.000 A slave.

01:11:08.000 That's Oxford.

01:11:10.000 That is the bastion of intellect for the Western world.

01:11:15.000 And there she is in her fucking thigh-high slut boots, in her Hunts Point prostitute gear. 1.00

01:11:23.000 Turn it up.

01:11:26.000 I'm so thankful to Ashton Kutcher and obviously Angelina Jalee.

01:11:30.000 She says 17 years ago she went to Cambodia and it changed her life.

01:11:35.000 Same thing for me just eight years ago.

01:11:38.000 It's a magical place.

01:11:39.000 If you ever get a chance to go, I hope you do.

01:11:41.000 Wow, she's got crazy girl lipstick on teeth. 1.00

01:11:45.000 She has no kids, but she goes and helps children all over the third world.

01:11:50.000 Thanks.

01:11:51.000 The girls loved me, and I didn't think I deserved to be loved.

01:11:56.000 I didn't think that anyone would love me.

01:11:58.000 I didn't think I was lovable.

01:12:01.000 I struggle with worth issues, feeling that I'm worthy.

01:12:06.000 And they said I was worthy.

01:12:08.000 They just loved me for who I am.

01:12:10.000 And I fought it.

01:12:14.000 I didn't know how to take it.

01:12:16.000 I didn't know how when you're abused, you just believe that anything good isn't an attack.

01:12:53.000 Slurpee.

01:12:58.000 Sorry, I didn't get that.

01:13:00.000 Would you like for me to hold while you get a pen and paper?

01:13:03.000 Christianthenum.

01:13:09.000 Sorry, I didn't get that.

01:13:11.000 Would you like one night while you get a pen and paper?

01:13:14.000 Let's go to the mailbag.

01:13:20.000 Sorry, I didn't get that.

01:13:22.000 Hello.

01:13:23.000 I'm calling with the information you're doing.

01:13:24.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.

01:13:29.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.

01:13:33.000 Let's turn our eyes together.

01:13:36.000 It's mailbag.

01:13:39.000 Let me touch it.

01:13:41.000 Um, I forgot my computer.

01:13:43.000 Oh, no.

01:13:45.000 Yeah, I left it at Gav's Tav.

01:13:48.000 I went into my local bar yesterday.

01:13:50.000 Guess who was there?

01:13:52.000 Who that?

01:13:53.000 Nobody.

01:13:54.000 What?

01:13:54.000 The owner and the bartender were rolling marijuana cigarettes in the basement.

01:13:58.000 There was not one person in the bar.

01:14:00.000 So I walked behind the bar and I grabbed myself a Budweiser and I sat down and I thought, this is just Gav's Tav.

01:14:07.000 But I can't control the TV like I can at Gavstav.

01:14:11.000 Yes, sir.

01:14:12.000 Yes, sir.

01:14:13.000 Yes, sir.

01:14:14.000 You know what's great about GavsTav?

01:14:15.000 I get to hang out with my wife.

01:14:19.000 She doesn't like going to bars because she has to get all dressed up and then drive home and blah, blah, blah. 1.00

01:14:24.000 I go, it's just the basement.

01:14:27.000 Here, here's a cigarette.

01:14:29.000 Here's a glass of Cabernet.

01:14:34.000 And then after one, she goes up to bed.

01:14:37.000 It's pretty lit.

01:14:38.000 Call Jay Johnson and get wasted. 0.92

01:14:41.000 Of course, I'm suffering today.

01:14:44.000 Plus, I drink whiskey on Sundays now.

01:14:48.000 That's right.

01:14:48.000 And I wet the bed.

01:14:51.000 Whoops.

01:14:53.000 Okay, how's this for an idea, Ryan?

01:14:55.000 I'm going to go to my computer, and you film me going over to my computer.

01:14:59.000 Okay.

01:15:00.000 The only problem is people will realize that the ghetto blaster is sitting on a stepladder. 0.71

01:15:05.000 We're peeling back the fourth wall.

01:15:08.000 That's fine.

01:15:10.000 Here.

01:15:10.000 Take this.

01:15:12.000 Your phone?

01:15:13.000 I thought you were going to use that camera.

01:15:14.000 And then put it in front of you.

01:15:16.000 Well, we could have two shots to go.

01:15:47.000 Can you hear me now?

01:15:49.000 You can.

01:15:53.000 Yeah, if you don't know, man.

01:15:57.000 Look at this.

01:15:58.000 And then over here, we have.

01:16:06.000 Sid.

01:16:07.000 Isn't that fun?

01:16:09.000 This was...

01:16:10.000 Susby's wanted a 30 grand for that.

01:16:13.000 So I just printed it out at Kinko's for $100.

01:16:18.000 That's what cheap, rich punks do. 1.00

01:16:22.000 All right.

01:16:22.000 Mm-mm.

01:16:23.000 Look, there's my computer screen.

01:16:29.000 Sick.

01:16:31.000 Waitoya Yamaguchi taking out the trash.

01:16:35.000 Whoops.

01:16:38.000 Okay.

01:16:40.000 Put in my passcode, which is of course the same as my PIN, which is 4382.

01:16:48.000 It pays just to have one number used for everything.

01:16:51.000 Your computer passwords.

01:16:53.000 You know what I mean?

01:16:55.000 Uh-uh.

01:16:57.000 Okay.

01:16:59.000 Is this the only shot you have, Ryan?

01:17:02.000 Yeah, this other shot ain't so great.

01:17:06.000 I mean...

01:17:09.000 Here, look.

01:17:10.000 I don't know if you could see it.

01:17:14.000 Finding it harder and harder to respect Russia as a formidable foe, given that it's taken them almost a month by all Western media takes.

01:17:20.000 By the way, I was talking to Mercedes Carrera last night on the phone from prison.

01:17:26.000 Her theory is that Muslims are too stupid to do 9-11, and it was definitely the Russians.

01:17:32.000 And then she cited some terrorist act that happened on 11-9.

01:17:38.000 Not a bad theory.

01:17:42.000 Videos of Russian B-Was getting kneecapped, their own soldiers running down their officers.

01:17:46.000 Is this the same country that the left wants us to believe hacked the election?

01:17:51.000 These Ruskies couldn't hack eastern Ukraine cities with Nazi LARPers guarding them. 0.90

01:17:56.000 What's your take?

01:17:58.000 I don't know.

01:18:02.000 You know, my take is: I thought the war was fake from the beginning.

01:18:06.000 That Zelensky and Putin decided they'll do a two-month thing where there'll be a bunch of dead bodies, and then the deal will be he'll get the ethnically Russian part of Ukraine and a commitment to never join NATO ever.

01:18:23.000 Hey, Gavin, after you brought up your broken promise of sucking on a piece of poo, by the way, I'm still working on that.

01:18:28.000 I just can't find a piece of poo.

01:18:30.000 It's not easy to come by, believe it or not.

01:18:33.000 I may have to use my own dog's shit.

01:18:36.000 It reminded me of another promise you said, and then he shows an episode of Get Off My Lawn from years ago where I said that I would kill myself.

01:18:48.000 I bet my life that Pete Buttigig won't win.

01:18:51.000 But I also, in that same episode, allegedly, are you pulling it up?

01:18:56.000 Yep.

01:18:57.000 I allegedly said, I will eat a $100 bill if Trump loses in 2020.

01:19:04.000 So that's on my to-do list now.

01:19:06.000 Suck off a piece of shit and eat a $100 bill.

01:19:10.000 That sucks.

01:19:14.000 Oh, good.

01:19:14.000 Here's the meme I was talking about earlier.

01:19:17.000 Get beyond the no.

01:19:18.000 It's a stage.

01:19:19.000 That's racist.

01:19:20.000 Oh, I'm sorry.

01:19:21.000 That's racist.

01:19:22.000 No, it's not.

01:19:23.000 That's racist.

01:19:23.000 I don't care.

01:19:24.000 That's racist.

01:19:25.000 Thanks for noticing.

01:19:28.000 Would you pull that up?

01:19:29.000 It's up.

01:19:31.000 Would you rather permanently trade bodies with Perry Caravello or Joe Tonelli?

01:19:35.000 You keep your mind and your memories.

01:19:38.000 That's a pretty good one.

01:19:40.000 Joe's body sucks.

01:19:41.000 He's in the hospital right now with some infection, trachea infection, and he had one of his discs in his neck fixed, so his body's garbage.

01:19:50.000 I'd have to take Perry Caravello's fat piece of shit. 0.98

01:19:57.000 Hey, Gavi, you know how you always remind Ryan that a male using female avatars is gay?

01:20:01.000 Well, here's proof you're correct.

01:20:03.000 See the links.

01:20:04.000 And he's got a bunch of Daily Mail screen grabs from Jamie Lee Curtis's son, who would use a female avatar while gaming.

01:20:11.000 I think this is a major part of the trans movement.

01:20:14.000 He's just a gay. 1.00

01:20:16.000 He's just a weak gay. 1.00

01:20:18.000 Look at his stature.

01:20:21.000 Look at his posture here with Jamie holding his weird arms.

01:20:26.000 Does he have a disease?

01:20:27.000 I shouldn't be making fun of him if he's crippled. 1.00

01:20:30.000 And now he's abroad.

01:20:32.000 An ugly dude.

01:20:34.000 An ugly goth dude who thinks he's named Ruby.

01:20:38.000 Dear Queen Cobalt and Fag Supreme, if your takeaway from the Will Smith thing is anything other than this is Stage Hollywood bullshit, you must be retarded. 1.00

01:20:46.000 Well, then I'm retarded.

01:20:48.000 It's obvious that Chris was bracing for and even leaning into the slap.

01:20:52.000 And yet smooth-brained Ukraine fags across the nation are shitting a collective brick over this non-story. 1.00

01:20:58.000 If this thing had happened in a line of McDonald's, it would be less than a fart in the wind.

01:21:03.000 Well, yeah.

01:21:08.000 Yeah, it's a bigger deal now that it's at the Oscars.

01:21:12.000 As Shakespeare said, all the world's a stage.

01:21:14.000 So you're wrong, Jake.

01:21:16.000 Fucking boob. 1.00

01:21:18.000 Someone wants us to put up the bald eagle tattoo.

01:21:23.000 I put it up on my Getter account.

01:21:25.000 You can go there and see it.

01:21:27.000 I didn't get the shine on his head, and I deeply regret it.

01:21:33.000 Lauren Dowdy was right.

01:21:37.000 Someone's asked about my gold necklace.

01:21:39.000 I don't know.

01:21:40.000 You can tell how long it is by the way.

01:21:42.000 It lays on my neck, you fucking moron.

01:21:46.000 Hi, Gavin.

01:21:47.000 I grew up religious, so I didn't grow up interacting with girls.

01:21:49.000 So over the past two years, I've been interacting with strangers online.

01:21:52.000 I'm on the app, and I tend to talk to Colombian girls. 0.81

01:21:55.000 I have some weird fucking stories about falling in love with strangers on this app, but I'm repeatedly blown away at how much these girls love being abused. 1.00

01:22:04.000 They love being told to slap themselves across the face, use a brush or belt.

01:22:08.000 They will tie their necks with their socks and fuck their throat. 0.99

01:22:12.000 Not blowjobs, throat fucking.

01:22:14.000 I'm not ignoring the fact that this makes me a pervert or as the kids say, kinky for watching and participating, but I sometimes ask why they like it and I never get a straight answer.

01:22:24.000 However, a few girls that I have built a relationship with have admitted to me that they don't have boyfriends because they'd rather be told they are a whore and beat themselves up for strangers online rather than having a loving, committed man in their lives.

01:22:35.000 I was inspired to write this message because of the perverted professor who was doxing people.

01:22:40.000 That's, of course, anti-fash Gordon, Christian Exu. 0.66

01:22:44.000 And how they like being abused.

01:22:45.000 I'm pretty based and not Antifa, but I'm sharing this to add to the open discourse.

01:22:53.000 Yeah, I got in a lot of trouble for saying that, but a lot of women like abuse, but it's consensual abuse. 1.00

01:23:00.000 They like it rough.

01:23:02.000 Sex is a weird thing.

01:23:03.000 I haven't figured it out, and I've been on the earth for half a century.

01:23:06.000 This is why I don't want it anywhere near kids.

01:23:10.000 I got those pictures you sent me.

01:23:12.000 Those texts.

01:23:15.000 Of chicks saying fucked up things? 1.00

01:23:18.000 No, moron.

01:23:19.000 That's a totally different story.

01:23:21.000 Okay.

01:23:23.000 We'll cover that tomorrow.

01:23:29.000 Yeah, finally, someone says that Ben Crump is covering that kid who fell down at the fair.

01:23:41.000 Remember this guy?

01:23:45.000 He was at Six Flags and he fell out of the falling machine.

01:23:53.000 It falls down at like 75 miles an hour and he slipped out of it.

01:23:56.000 His thing wasn't on properly.

01:24:02.000 And my theory is, because they were too scared to tell him to put the thing on.

01:24:08.000 So, you know, it goes over your head and there's that ka-junk thing?

01:24:12.000 The bird which is the bald eagle.

01:24:14.000 He's making this racial?

01:24:15.000 It might be racial, but it's not the kind of racism he thinks.

01:24:18.000 I think the guy who was doing the ka-junks was scared of this kid.

01:24:21.000 He looks like fucking, hands up, don't shoot, Michael Brown.

01:24:27.000 He's a beast of a boy.

01:24:30.000 He's like 6'2, 250 pounds or something.

01:24:33.000 No, he's not 6'2, but he's a beast.

01:24:36.000 So maybe they were going kajunk, ka-junk, ka-junk, and they said, sir, this doesn't, and he's like, well, the fork, nothing.

01:24:44.000 And then they walked away.

01:24:46.000 Yeah.

01:24:47.000 Look at him.

01:24:49.000 So he slipped to his death.

01:24:51.000 And Ben Crump is making it racial.

01:24:54.000 So what is Ben Crump's angle that they purposely, and please stop saying purposefully.

01:25:01.000 Holy fuck, everyone's doing it these days.

01:25:04.000 Purposefully means you did it purposely, but you did it carefully and you watched every detail.

01:25:10.000 You meticulously did it on purpose.

01:25:12.000 So if you're putting a line of dominoes out, right, to knock down, you purposefully place each domino.

01:25:19.000 It means a hell of a lot more than I did it on purpose.

01:25:22.000 You just mean purposely.

01:25:24.000 In fact, abolish the word purposefully.

01:25:27.000 It's used correctly maybe once every 32 years.

01:25:30.000 So you can do without it.

01:25:32.000 So is Ben Crump saying they purposely murdered this child because he's black?

01:25:38.000 Everyone on the ride was black that day.

01:25:42.000 What a fucking retard. 1.00

01:25:47.000 He's just an ambulance chasing loser.

01:25:49.000 Who is an integral part of the show?

01:25:51.000 Just like Ben Ratner was an integral part of the Proud Boys.

01:25:54.000 All right, let's do the fucking final video.

01:26:14.000 This is pretty heavy shit, dudes.

01:26:17.000 Oh my god.

01:26:19.000 Guy's jumping from a plane.

01:26:21.000 The guy in front of him hits his head on the way out, knocks himself out.

01:26:25.000 Oh well, you're dead.

01:26:26.000 I gotta handle my own shit.

01:26:28.000 Nope.

01:26:29.000 Bros before deaths. 0.94

01:26:31.000 So this guy, fast and furious, Tom Cruise Mission Impossible, flies over to his unconscious friend and releases his parachute.

01:26:44.000 Check this shit out.

01:26:47.000 Next time your bro doesn't have your back, show him this video.

01:26:52.000 So I think that's...

01:26:54.000 Where is he now?

01:26:55.000 Oh, that's him in the top right?

01:26:58.000 Maybe it's him in the middle?

01:27:00.000 Which one is he?

01:27:01.000 Was he the one that was flipping around?

01:27:04.000 That must be scary as fuck.

01:27:08.000 Don't these things have an automatic release?

01:27:12.000 Look, he's out.

01:27:13.000 Passed out.

01:27:14.000 So he gets underneath them.

01:27:16.000 You better get underneath him.

01:27:18.000 They're plummeting to their deaths.

01:27:23.000 Releases his friend.

01:27:26.000 Releases himself.

01:27:29.000 How fucking nuts is that?

01:27:31.000 And your friend didn't want to leave or didn't want to fuck a fat chick at the bar so you could fuck the pretty girl. 1.00

01:27:38.000 Unacceptable.

01:27:39.000 You got to have your brothers back, boys.

01:27:41.000 We got brothers out there saving each other's lives.

01:27:44.000 And you won't take a fat, ugly chick home? 1.00

01:27:46.000 Fuck you.

01:27:47.000 Get fired.

01:27:48.000 Get in trouble.

01:27:49.000 Be brave.

01:27:50.000 And never stop fighting.

01:27:54.000 Heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy undogged.

01:28:06.000 Heavy undone.

01:28:17.000 Heavy undone.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - March 28, 2022

S4E100 - BEST SMACKTOR

Episode Stats

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