S4E101 - BLACK SPRINKLES
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 30 minutes
Words per Minute
149.4215
Hate Speech Sentences
106
Summary
On this week's episode of the podcast, the boys talk about their sex lives and the things they would do if they were on a sex strike. Also, we talk about a bird feeder that doesn't work, and a guy who can't remember his own name.
Transcript
00:01:04.000
New York band, put out an album every two years or so.
00:01:10.000
Fantastic, fun little band my wife turned me on to.
00:01:14.000
I guess she listens to KEXP a lot and she learns about the hot new shit, even though that's 10 years old.
00:01:21.000
I can't listen to KEXP because they went woke and they suck now in the mornings.
00:01:32.000
A lot of negative nellies, baby monsters telling me that it's stupid to do that and I'm never going to get laid.
00:01:41.000
You have to temper the strike with grumpiness, too.
00:01:47.000
You're not just like super fun, happy-go-lucky guy who also didn't get laid.
00:01:57.000
I was on strike the whole week, but I was grumpy all week.
00:02:13.000
And then Pavlov was very fun and friendly after that.
00:02:20.000
In fact, we partied till the wee hours on Sunday night at Gavstav.
00:02:26.000
By the way, the sign for GavzTav looks amazing.
00:02:37.000
You know when you think of something in your head and then you finally get it and you go, eh, that's similar, but oh well, nothing's perfect.
00:02:56.000
And I'm like, I guess I got to give away our address.
00:02:59.000
And then I thought, no, let's not even risk it with that.
00:03:21.000
It seems kind of like cut out and rounded in a weird, groovy way.
00:03:27.000
You can't really see the shine in this particular shot I sent you.
00:03:32.000
I don't even know what it is, but I don't like it.
00:03:43.000
If something looks wrong, you can use the Alexa app to submit feedback.
00:03:50.000
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00:04:16.000
Fucking Derek from More Place, More Dates here.
00:04:19.000
Fucking bird feeders are like really low in all-ergeninine, L-carnisine, and L-citrilline.
00:04:25.000
So if you're a new with the remarkably low T is making fun of me for a bird feeder?
00:04:35.000
The reason I shut her up is I was scared she was going to say my address.
00:04:39.000
But yeah, the bird feeder I got was more China crap.
00:04:44.000
It purports to be a bird feeder that takes a picture of the bird, which is the bald eagle, and then tells you that it's the bird which is the bald eagle.
00:05:00.000
These pictures were like one kilobyte by one kiloninobyte.
00:05:23.000
So yeah, you got to temper the strike with grumpiness if you want it to be effective.
00:05:30.000
And I've sent the message that when Gav gets regular horsing around, the world's a funner place to be in.
00:05:40.000
Also in the news, our con ad bills are so fucking insane.
00:06:02.000
Cameras, computers, they're not that big on power.
00:06:10.000
And then the lights in the bar, the lights, it's just lights.
00:06:22.000
You can hear the heating come on on the show, and it's pretty hot.
00:06:35.000
Is that like some YouTube bodybuilding dude that only you are into?
00:06:39.000
He's the guy that makes your fucking pre-workout energy drink.
00:06:42.000
Yeah, Brian, stop advertising these fucking weirdos no one's heard of.
00:06:47.000
This guy is the most popular man in the sub space.
00:06:51.000
Called, why the fuck is Trent Turning Me Homosexual?
00:07:22.000
And guess how much my Coned bill is for my home?
00:07:47.000
And then I talked to other people, and their bills were similar, not as bad as mine, but they were like $1,100, $1,200.
00:07:52.000
Now, we were doing a lot of renovations, so the doors were open and stuff, but that's not the reason.
00:08:01.000
Con Ed in the upper, in the northeast is out of fucking control.
00:08:14.000
Let's go to renewable energy, non-fossil fuels, like wind and solar.
00:08:19.000
You know what percentage of vehicles in the world use oil-based fuel and not solar or anything else, not electric?
00:08:29.000
We've spent $5 trillion in the past 20 years in America trying to get more wind and solar, and we've increased wind and solar by maybe 2% or 3%.
00:08:43.000
In Costa Rica, the entire skyline is just filled with fucking wind turbines.
00:08:50.000
Windmill, not windmills, but you know, the big giant stupid pieces of shit.
00:09:01.000
They made a man-made lake and then harnessed the energy from draining that lake into the river system.
00:09:19.000
There's a whole factory, likely powered by gas and coal, that is on base there, constantly fixing these dumb things.
00:09:40.000
But before we do, I often talk about the sprinkles, and you guys often send me people who are just humorous.
00:09:48.000
Magical, the magic in humor involves very specific timing.
00:09:57.000
That last thing you did, Ryan, with the with the Mets and the Yankees, I was watching it and I was like, it needs one more second at the end.
00:10:31.000
I think one of the best bits, one of the best shticks that we did in a long time, I had to do with.
00:11:34.000
But we're going to ruin the joke by super analyzing it.
00:11:37.000
But I want you to focus on the delivery here of this bit.
00:11:45.000
But just enjoy the sprinkles, the magic talent.
00:11:51.000
Even the title, Just Two Guys Enjoying the Swans.
00:12:03.000
We got to figure out how to talk to one of them.
00:12:05.000
I was just thinking, like, this is getting ridiculous.
00:12:06.000
Yeah, I don't really want to be doing this with you.
00:12:36.000
Like three seconds, and then we got to figure out how to talk to a woman.
00:12:40.000
And then he beautifully Venn diagrams his next line on top of that.
00:12:47.000
And the tone is like, we got to figure out how to talk to a woman, man.
00:12:51.000
And then he, with his higher voice, goes on top of the end of the, we got to figure out how to talk to a woman with, I was just thinking that.
00:12:59.000
So then you go, all right, that's enough joke for me.
00:13:08.000
Just thinking, like, this is getting ridiculous.
00:13:11.000
I mean, if you want to kiss, we could, but just two guys enjoying the swan.
00:13:15.000
And in a way, that's kind of comedy in twos, right?
00:13:22.000
We really need to figure out just thinking that.
00:13:34.000
Those guys did it in two, and it was still fun.
00:13:38.000
You might count the sharp edit at the end as the third of the three.
00:13:45.000
Well, it's all really part of that same second.
00:13:47.000
It's kind of stand-up-ish because it's like set up, two guys enjoying the swans, punchline.
00:13:53.000
And then a tag is like, we could kiss if you want.
00:14:09.000
I was going to say, like, part of it reminded me of Key and Peel, the overlapping.
00:14:49.000
I'll look the guy up and then he won't have the sprinkles.
00:14:53.000
And I realized, oh, he fell into some sprinkles.
00:14:56.000
There's a guy that I follow that's like that too.
00:15:00.000
Like I saw this Indian dude and he was like, when you get blankets for your friends at a sleepover, and he shows up with the blankets, and there's like a guy sleeping with a TV on him.
00:15:12.000
And I remember that from being a kid at sleepovers.
00:15:15.000
And then I looked at his other shit and it wasn't funny.
00:15:20.000
Everyone is doing this like blankets at the sleepover thing.
00:15:34.000
You can only say your pronouns if you have stupid gay pronouns.
00:15:40.000
If it goes any longer, y'all are dying tonight.
00:16:12.000
Does he not want to give away his jokes for free?
00:16:21.000
It doesn't link automatically, so we have to find it.
00:16:27.000
TikTok, as you may know, is Urdu for A-O-K, groovy dude.
00:16:32.000
So if you're ever in a taxi and you want to make the guy laugh, just say, everything is Tikka.
00:16:47.000
I just, when I said we needed girls, I meant for us.
00:16:50.000
I mean, they look happy, though, so it's like, it's whatever.
00:17:03.000
I mean, if you're getting jealous, we could kiss.
00:17:21.000
Second you get an erection, leave the bedroom and don't go near your wife or you'll end up fucking her.
00:17:35.000
Okay, so these are two good things that we should do.
00:18:04.000
So we just earned some points by liking black people.
00:18:06.000
So now we can go back to zero by discussing what a mess affirmative action is.
00:18:49.000
I was talking to two South Africans at a local tavern, and they were, it's fun to hear people of another culture talk amongst themselves because it's like no holds barred.
00:19:01.000
I notice people from other countries, they don't like talking about their other country.
00:19:05.000
Like even today, there was a boxer at the gym and he's like, number one man in Uzbekistan, I hear Larry Barnes say.
00:19:19.000
Weird, ambiguous brunettes, ethnically ambiguous brunettes, Eabs.
00:19:24.000
And he was like, and then he's wrapping his wraps.
00:19:29.000
And I go, isn't that the place where they steal chicks?
00:19:35.000
You put your wife in a bag where you just throw her in the car?
00:19:47.000
Look, this is the Gavs type factory in Uzbekistan.
00:19:59.000
Except for that one on the right who looks like a baby.
00:20:12.000
What a weird thing to reference when you're talking about beautiful women.
00:20:20.000
Mile-high cheekbones on runway looks like I do.
00:20:40.000
And they scream and yell and hate it, but I don't think they do.
00:20:46.000
Somewhere around there, somewhere in Eurasia, they just steal their chick.
00:20:56.000
Yeah, but Ryan, that's not the most fun thing to do in a video show.
00:21:07.000
Old practice of abducting women persists despite opposition from Uzbekistan Muslim clerics and the forced brides themselves.
00:21:21.000
People don't want to tune into a TV show to look at Wikipedia entries.
00:21:37.000
Always feels like, I don't watch Vice shit because it feels like betrayal.
00:21:41.000
But I've seen things that made me want to watch it.
00:21:45.000
How serious are they when they're screaming no?
00:22:06.000
I called him baby balls because once he was going to, for 100 bucks, he was going to break a thing of ketchup on his head.
00:22:11.000
And I was like, A, your best case scenario is you knock yourself out.
00:22:15.000
B, the worst case scenario is that glass is like thick, dude.
00:22:36.000
Kyrgyzstan is a tiny landlocked country next to me.
00:22:38.000
Funny, remember once he was mocking me for believing in IQ?
00:22:42.000
And then, like, a few months later, his wife, because they were still married when I knew them, goes, yeah, well, Thomas has his IQ is 160 or some crazy number.
00:22:51.000
And I was like, oh, so we like IQ when it's in our favor.
00:22:57.000
Can we see someone steal a fucking bride, please?
00:23:02.000
How it works is, guy wants to marry a girl, gets a few of his friends together, they grab the girl off the street, then they drive her back to his place, and his mom and aunts try to convince her that marrying their son is the right move, even if he's a total stranger.
00:23:17.000
We'd heard a young East Kyrgyz villager named Kabanti was in the market for a bar.
00:23:25.000
Like, I've seen some girls, like, fucking, what's her name?
00:23:29.000
Like, I could kidnap her and understand that the first year or two, she's going to be pretty sad.
00:23:36.000
But eventually, with treats and cakes and TV privileges and even a walk, I let her go for a walk month four.
00:23:58.000
I like how we assume that affirmative action is still what the original idea was, which is poor people who deserve these jobs finally get them and we're evening it out.
00:24:10.000
And to go back to the South African thing I started this with, I overheard two South Africans saying, you know the GEDs?
00:24:19.000
What gives you the right to ask me when I was back home?
00:24:21.000
And he goes, yeah, the GEDs for your high school diploma, it was down to 40%.
00:24:34.000
I've told you this before, but zero to get a GED in South Africa.
00:24:40.000
And we're headed there with this bullshit affirmative action.
00:24:43.000
So check out these APOCs, African-American people of color, who are bragging trends like this will get people killed.
00:24:52.000
Just wait until they start ramping this up with fields like engineering.
00:24:55.000
Yeah, or medicine, getting accepted into law school with a low LSAT and GPA.
00:25:06.000
Is this what affirmative action was supposed to do?
00:25:08.000
Made a C in chemistry, got put out of honors program on technicality, barely did research, didn't shadow.
00:25:26.000
Like what this says to me is if you see a black doctor, say, can I get a second opinion, please?
00:25:36.000
Like real black doctors who deserve to be there must not be happy with this trend.
00:25:48.000
Getting accepted in law school, low LSAT score.
00:25:51.000
Please do not waste your time applying to law schools.
00:26:03.000
Okay, sir, count backwards from 10 because I think you're going to be out for this operation.
00:26:15.000
I'm designing this crucial piece of a Boeing 747.
00:26:26.000
This poor guy's like, why most won't make it 175 plus, and that's going to hold you back.
00:26:38.000
Look how much Adderall he had to take to get into law school.
00:26:41.000
This is what white males have to do to compete with affirmative action.
00:26:45.000
They have to eat a bowl of cereal that's Adderall.
00:26:49.000
He took so much Adderall, he looks like Gypsy Crusader.
00:26:53.000
He took so much Adderall, he has four eyebrows.
00:27:02.000
I thought this was interesting, saying the quiet part out loud.
00:27:06.000
If you recall, at Charlottesville, those stupid, evil Nazis were marching with tiki torches, and they were saying Jews will not replace us.
00:27:13.000
The indication was that Jews are for open borders and for demographic change in this country because they don't like, they don't consider themselves white and they hate white people.
00:27:25.000
So they want to breed white people out of existence.
00:27:50.000
Well, you can show that while I get you this thing.
00:27:54.000
This is our buddy Nas talking about how he went to London and there's not a lot of white people there.
00:28:10.000
Growing up in the Middle East, I thought white people lived in places like London.
00:28:18.000
But now that I'm a grown-up in London, I realized I was wrong.
00:28:32.000
Who wears a sweatshirt of how close they are to death every day?
00:28:43.000
Turns out, British white people in London are the minority.
00:29:15.000
The only two groups that have really assimilated in London are Jamaicans and Indians.
00:29:21.000
And that's because they're former British colonies who grew up on British culture.
00:29:31.000
The inbreeding in the Muslim world is not good for their assimilation.
00:29:36.000
And it's ironically why Nasir is such a fucking retard, because he's Palestinian.
00:30:01.000
The more men a woman spreads her legs for, the more men can call her their girlfriend.
00:30:16.000
But now that they're getting woke, they have women and blacks involved.
00:30:20.000
And I didn't realize it before, but it's weird to see blacks getting shot at with paintball guns and chased with tanks.
00:30:28.000
Or falling or wiping out and everyone laughing at them wipe out because we've been conditioned to see them as victims.
00:30:39.000
And then you realize, wait a minute, why am I so comfortable seeing a guy kicked in the balls?
00:30:45.000
Like, they have one of the best heavyweight boxers in the world punch this dude in the nuts.
00:30:51.000
And it's funny because the boxer's black and the guy's white.
00:30:54.000
But if the guy was white and the boxer was white and the guy was black, you'd be like, that'd be really odd.
00:31:01.000
So it's a weird world where we are, in the name of equality, we're introducing blacks to all the bad stuff.
00:31:11.000
And I think white people are the only people who can take getting kicked in the nuts and thrown off a cliff and shot out of a cannon.
00:31:24.000
But when we see it happening to blacks, we go, that's mean.
00:31:45.000
Queen Charlotte, I guess she was like around the time of Mary Antoinette.
00:31:53.000
And she's portrayed as an old black lady in this show.
00:32:00.000
Now, Queen Charlotte did have blacks around her.
00:32:05.000
So the problem with putting blacks, look, that woman, Queen Charlotte, was white and she had plenty of black servants that she owned.
00:32:14.000
So by making these people black, you're making them okay with the fact, like that woman, the real woman, they all had black helpers, servants, whatever.
00:32:23.000
So these people, these black aristocrats are okay with slavery.
00:32:30.000
What a tangled web we weave when we enforce equality.
00:32:38.000
We have old aristocrats complicit with slavery.
00:33:00.000
Wait, in Wikipedia, I think there's a good picture of her.
00:33:07.000
The only black person that she was remotely associated with is serving her.
00:33:15.000
This is Shonda Rhimes, the one who did all these other stupid fucking Netflix shows where she crowbars black people into them.
00:33:50.000
Speaking of the depiction of African Americans in film and television, I want to take him.
00:34:10.000
You know, Steve Saylor says there might be some sort of historical merit to this.
00:34:14.000
Because before electricity, you told stories around the campfire in the dark.
00:34:22.000
So it might make more sense to be going like this when you're telling a story to help convey it.
00:34:30.000
So maybe this is a natural evolution of storytelling.
00:34:35.000
Why is everybody in your stories always happy, Leroy?
00:35:02.000
I just want to sort of have a little moment to talk to NASA and the Fields Medal.
00:35:08.000
The area of science as it applies in our day-to-day seems to have forgotten African Americans.
00:35:14.000
And it's obvious to me that people of color would make great astronauts, great mathematicians.
00:35:21.000
We have Terrence Howard doing talks at Oxford about the Otis symbos.
00:35:27.000
Yet, if you look at, like, look at this Cobalt JBL team from NASA.
00:35:36.000
This is what NASA thinks science is in this day and age.
00:35:43.000
And they're very careful with their pictures because they're aware of their diversity problem.
00:35:48.000
So this is probably the most diverse picture you can find.
00:35:51.000
Every time you look at NASA, they try to drum up as many women and they'll do a thing like, here's our whole staff.
00:35:57.000
And they'll throw in the fucking cafeteria staff and stuff to get their numbers up.
00:36:00.000
But it is disgusting, deplorable, and quite frankly, sad how few people of color there are at this space and aeronautics company.
00:36:09.000
It makes you think that they don't think black people are worthy.
00:36:12.000
And I've also noticed this in the Fields Medal.
00:36:14.000
The Fields Medal is basically the Nobel Peace Prize for mathematics.
00:36:19.000
We finally got a pachyderm in there, some Indian dude, New Delhi born mathematics.
00:36:34.000
Do the people at Fields think that black people aren't capable of math?
00:36:52.000
So I just want to point out how embarrassing this is and how many opportunities there are for these companies to recognize the brilliance of blacks.
00:37:03.000
And we need go no further than popular film and yeah, popular film.
00:37:19.000
Has anyone at NASA ever passed out from mathematics before?
00:37:42.000
That's the nerdy guy from Freaks and Geeks, I think.
00:37:46.000
Sorry, but they're asking for the probe courses.
00:37:57.000
Look, I know we're coming at this backwards, but we can't come into a firm line.
00:38:07.000
By the way, this is the movie where he figures out we can't turn around and come back.
00:38:10.000
We're going to have to slingshot around the Earth.
00:38:12.000
But he can't explain it to people because it's too brilliant for them.
00:38:18.000
Where are the Donald Glovers of the world in NASA?
00:38:25.000
In the movie FF9, Ludacris works out mathematically.
00:38:41.000
With my ceramic polymer coating, you're going to be just fine.
00:38:46.000
But this is a black person who figured out how to get into outer space in an old, I don't know what that is, a pinto?
00:38:52.000
And they get so far up in outer space that they destroy a satellite that was going to destroy the world.
00:39:09.000
And what is the motto of Ludacris in this film?
00:39:19.000
Who can forget Janelle Monet in Hidden Figures, my favorite film on this subject.
00:39:24.000
I'm often criticized for referencing it too often, especially when I discuss it with Anthony Cumia, who's also very fond of the depiction of the various scientists.
00:39:32.000
She's playing, of course, Mary Jackson, who was not just a math janitor.
00:39:46.000
Shield erosion occurs on the posterior side abutting the retro boosters.
00:39:56.000
The area closest to the boosters is closest to the heat.
00:40:00.000
Coupled with rising temperature on re-entry, the contact softens.
00:40:05.000
We could consider another fastener other than the boats.
00:40:19.000
There is another opening in the engineer training program.
00:40:26.000
Mary, a person with engineers' mind should be an engineer.
00:40:38.000
And I'm a Polish Jew whose parents died in a Nazi prison camp.
00:40:48.000
Didn't America get all their rocket scientists from Nazi Germany?
00:40:52.000
Now you just switch them over into Polish Jews?
00:41:00.000
Are you comfortable around the Nazis that you work with, my friend?
00:41:06.000
Another brilliant mathematician, scientist, space guy, genius is Joe Morton in Terminator 2.
00:41:14.000
This guy was so smart, he almost destroyed the world.
00:41:18.000
This might be why you don't see many blacks in engineering in real life, because they're scared their high IQs will destroy the entire planet.
00:41:30.000
Lots of scientists falling with garbage cans all over the place.
00:41:37.000
He's running another series this afternoon, and you have to sign for the it.
00:41:46.000
Listen, Mr. Dyson, I know I haven't been here that long, but I was wondering if you could tell me.
00:41:55.000
You know why I asked them that very same question once, and you know what they told me?
00:42:05.000
He made computers so smart he outsmarted us and started killing us.
00:42:16.000
Speaking of permanently changing the world with robots, we have Eric Andre in Mitchell's vs.
00:42:23.000
Just like Miles Dyson, he created robots that were too smart and became dangerous.
00:42:56.000
By the way, have you heard this rumor that AI is racist?
00:43:13.000
I've always thought of you as like family to me.
00:43:31.000
Anyway, this guy, if you've seen the movie, he says we're going to update our phones to now robots.
00:43:38.000
He throws that phone away and he maybe skip ahead a little bit.
00:43:43.000
The phone wants revenge, by the way, and she gets it.
00:44:09.000
So anyway, I don't understand why reality seems to have a problem with what TV and movies have shown us to be clearly scientific facts.
00:44:36.000
The movies have shown us to be clearly scientific facts.
00:44:44.000
You know, honorable mention, another Disney movie.
00:44:51.000
The super genius who creates the program for this thing is a black kid.
00:44:58.000
Yeah, and then the evil white guy is like, no, we have to fucking do bad shit with it.
00:45:46.000
Did you show the Jews will not replace us thing that I sent you?
00:45:58.000
This is insane to me because this is exactly what the Tiki Torch guys were saying.
00:46:04.000
So I'm sitting here trying to make sure no proud boys ever become Nazis and arguing with anti-Semites about why they're wrong.
00:46:15.000
You have a man in a yarmulke standing with people of color.
00:46:22.000
And he's looking at these people having a baby and saying, that's white supremacy.
00:46:29.000
In these times of reckoning, we need to stand united against all forms of racism and white supremacy.
00:46:37.000
The next generation will determine the fate of this country, and it's up to us to decide what kind of future we want.
00:46:56.000
If you made that a fake article, people go, fuck you.
00:47:28.000
Somebody's got to do something about Antifa and the left.
00:47:49.000
If you recall on yesterday's show, Brandon Vaughn was the guy who got into a fight at a pro-Israeli rally in 2017.
00:48:02.000
He was having his first cheeseburger and beer in two months.
00:48:05.000
He did a month in Canadian jail and a month in D.C. jail.
00:48:12.000
Everyone was there for murder, attempted murder.
00:48:17.000
I said I was there for firearm possession and attempted murder or something.
00:48:22.000
Because the real reason I'm there is a guy choked me out, so I punched him in the head and knocked him to the ground.
00:48:28.000
And then the Jewish Defense League used their poles and stuff and kicked the shit out of him when he was already on the ground.
00:48:37.000
I just hung out after because the cops saw the guy choked me and they saw me go bonk, bonk, shove.
00:48:44.000
Anyway, amongst all those murderers, he had to pretend to be worse than he was.
00:48:52.000
He was about to kill himself because he's not the kind of guy who can handle 15 years.
00:49:01.000
And then he goes to court, I forget when it was, maybe Friday, and they said, misdemeanor.
00:49:08.000
He has a $500 fine and he has to stay out of trouble for three years.
00:49:17.000
So he considered fighting it many times, but no, truth is not on your side.
00:49:23.000
And they only, he wasn't a Proud Boy when he committed this act.
00:49:35.000
And that's when they decided we have to clamp down on him.
00:49:38.000
And then turned the whole thing retroactively into a hate crime that he needed to be arrested for.
00:49:42.000
Now, you need to know a little bit about my hometown of Ottawa, Canada.
00:49:56.000
And what Mollies do is they'll steal your skateboard, they'll steal your weed, they'll beat you up, you fight back, and then that day, four minivans show up of Mollies of all ages, usually mid-20s, to kick the shit out of the person.
00:50:12.000
The police do nothing, and the media totally ignores it.
00:50:21.000
Tony Blair imported a bunch of Muslims to fuck with the working class, as Nigel Farage put it, and it worked.
00:50:30.000
But it's embarrassing because there's grooming gangs, there's violence.
00:50:34.000
Check out Tommy Robinson's series, The Rape of Britain.
00:50:43.000
And so the CBC, sorry, the BBC, the British Broadcasting Corporation, runs the news there.
00:50:50.000
So they just totally ignore the Muslim problem.
00:50:52.000
They got Sidi Khan further hiding it, deballing the police, and they make sure that no one knows the problem.
00:51:08.000
In fact, one of the reasons Brandon was able to keep his passport is because there's a new law that says a passport is actually property of the Queen of England, Queen of Britain, Queen Elizabeth.
00:51:20.000
And they invented that law for Omar Kader, the terrorist who killed an American soldier and was rewarded $10 million from Justin Trudeau for the inconvenience of going to Guantanamo Bay for being guilty of terrorism.
00:51:36.000
That second part is, it was just inconvenient that he went to Guantanamo Bay because he was just a child.
00:51:48.000
Anyway, so Brandon Vaughn grew up fighting Muslim kids, gangs would come to his school.
00:51:54.000
And there's zero reporting about this anywhere in Canada.
00:51:57.000
In fact, Trudeau spends tons of money to hide it.
00:52:09.000
He is the executive director of the Canadian Anti-Hate Network, which Trudeau rewarded $45 million, an anti-fascist nonprofit dedicated to countering, monitoring, exposing the far right.
00:52:21.000
He was formerly an investigative journalist and VP of the Canadian Association of Journalists.
00:52:28.000
This little kid awarded tens of millions of dollars to fight hate.
00:52:45.000
And he was a big part of getting Brandon Vaughan arrested, getting Proud Boys designated a terrorist group.
00:52:53.000
Another cunt that's behind all this is Bernie Farber of the Canadian Jewish Congress.
00:53:12.000
I said earlier, don't show Wikipedia, and I got all these.
00:53:15.000
And you know what's funny about the Canadian Jewish Congress?
00:53:18.000
It was Canadian Jewish groups in the 80s when I lived there that created Nazi skinheads.
00:53:26.000
They got $7 million, fucking birdseed compared to the $45 million they're getting these days, to catch Nazis.
00:53:36.000
So they started a thing called Heritage Foundation, and this put out propaganda saying the white race is this, white race is that.
00:53:43.000
And they ended up getting a bunch of homeless kids and orphans and Pepsis, French Canadians, to fall for it.
00:53:50.000
And the next thing you know, when I was 18, 16, 17, when I was a teenager in Ottawa, there was Nazi skin heads everywhere.
00:54:03.000
Francois had a fucking Klansman galloping through the woods on his back.
00:54:12.000
Joff would go down south to the States and bring back machine guns.
00:54:17.000
He was a one-man militia, all thanks to the Canadian Jewish Congress creating hate.
00:54:23.000
And it's funny because this guy, even Balgord, says that his new group is modeled after the SPLC.
00:54:39.000
These idiots are the biggest danger to our society, and they're all globalists.
00:54:44.000
In fact, this guy, Evan Balgord, has a degree in global journalism.
00:54:53.000
These people are globalists and they're Bolsheviks.
00:54:55.000
Bernie Farber supports Muslims who are anti-Semitic.
00:55:00.000
That's how badly they push this diversity crap at the risk of exterminating their own people.
00:55:08.000
And he promotes this Iman whose name is Ayman El-Kassare.
00:55:17.000
And Culture said the hardest part about our audiobooks is getting all these fucking Muslim names right.
00:55:24.000
And this guy said, we have to purify Al-Aska Mosque from the filth of the Jews.
00:55:34.000
He's also out to get our friend Brandon Vaughn, who just escaped suicide and death and 15 years in prison for fighting a guy who choked him.
00:56:06.000
You've never experienced that like me in your entire money!
00:56:38.000
But a UCLA Masters in Public Policy alumni is suing Antifa member Chad Loader in L.A. County for falsely claiming she's a convicted burglar and vandal.
00:56:46.000
She says she lost a work contract as a result of his defamatory statements that show up first on a Google search of her name.
00:57:13.000
We're employing lawfare because there's no other options left.
00:57:16.000
I mean, you saw what happened to Brendan Vaughan.
00:57:33.000
So we've got Christian Ek su, anti-fash Gordon in upstate New York getting sued, and now we have Chad Loader.
00:57:42.000
I don't understand why they say Jordan Peterson started crying.
00:57:49.000
I wanted to ask you about the, based on your knowledge, your background, your clinical experience, what is the psychology of mom violence?
00:58:01.000
When I see it, I don't even recognize some of these.
00:58:14.000
They're worse than animals, because animals, they just kill to eat.
00:58:18.000
Human beings, they have a twist in them that makes them far worse than animals when they really get going.
00:58:23.000
Well, I think it's, I think, you really want to know what I think?
00:58:26.000
I think it's revenge against God for the crime of being.
00:58:39.000
God, what if I take him out in the field and beat him to death?
00:58:52.000
Yeah, that's what it is at the bottom of the hell of things.
00:59:02.000
I think that's too intellectual for most people.
00:59:04.000
And the left is determined to get a bad guy, so they rephrase what they just saw.
00:59:16.000
That's why they say no borders, no wall, no USA at all.
00:59:41.000
It's going to take a second to get him on there.
00:59:50.000
But yeah, we over-intellectualize the Antifa motive.
00:59:55.000
And I've seen these people, you see the way they scream.
01:00:03.000
I'm against divorce, or I think dad should be more present in children's lives.
01:00:11.000
They want revenge for their father's lack of love, lack of interest.
01:00:18.000
And maybe daddy didn't care about you because you suck.
01:00:41.000
No, I mean, my mom was a little hoodlin, and my dad was a Mexican gangbanger, and it's the love story of the century.
01:01:05.000
Well, but Ryan is the low testosterone version, so his dad was a hairdresser.
01:01:24.000
We were just talking about Antifa and what motivates them.
01:01:28.000
And Jordan Peterson said in his own inimitable way that they just want to destroy.
01:01:41.000
I mean, I remember going through my, you know, little anarchist phase as a teenager, you know?
01:01:48.000
And some anarchists like the band Crass, they wanted to rebuild a society, blah, blah, blah, have more like independent sort of communities.
01:01:59.000
But then you had the exploited that just wanted to destroy everything, anarchy and chaos.
01:02:07.000
Yeah, it feels like a bunch of insecure kids that didn't have a lot of guidance coming together thinking that they're a part of a bigger thing than themselves and they just get lost in it, you know?
01:02:22.000
I think they were picked on and so their thing is, I'm going to stand up.
01:02:26.000
It's sort of like these guys who, and this is a noble pursuit, who were molested as kids and then they become these like pedophile hunters when they get older because they're like, I'm going to stand up.
01:02:36.000
So I think these dummies think that's who they are, but they're really just nerds who are picked on.
01:02:40.000
And then they're trying to find new nerds, like trans kids, to defend.
01:02:46.000
But it's not very anarchist because they end up going for like pro-COVID mandate shit that doesn't really fit their agenda.
01:02:54.000
They just want to fight, but in a mob so you can't lose.
01:02:58.000
Yeah, no, the whole hardcore scene is completely changed nowadays.
01:03:03.000
It's so different and weird because it's not hardcore at all.
01:03:10.000
They're giving out like safe hair and needles now at shows.
01:03:16.000
Speaking of shows, I want to have a big show soon, like a censored.tv presents with people buying tickets and stuff.
01:03:23.000
I'm thinking of Florida in the spring sometime.
01:03:38.000
So you could come down maybe and do a set, right?
01:03:48.000
But I want someone to put you in a little bag and throw you on a plane.
01:03:53.000
Just carry me around or one of those fucking baby things where they strap them to their chest.
01:04:12.000
Anything, if I have to go to some weird handicap row or whatever, I'll change my ticket and I'll make sure.
01:04:19.000
I promise you, every time I go to a concert, I meet the band.
01:04:27.000
Ryan, he's not going to get on a plane and come to New York to see Limp Biscuit.
01:04:36.000
How long do you think it takes to go to Chicago to New York?
01:04:52.000
Hey, do you want to sit in a fucking steel box for 20 hours to spend one hour with him?
01:05:02.000
All right, Crip, thanks for coming on the show.
01:05:07.000
All right, let's get to the Mail B. And I didn't forget my computer this time.
01:05:30.000
I think people are figuring out my schedule and they're sending me shit right when I do the mailbag.
01:05:38.000
But anyway, remember that guy in Calgary who told us all about the mantis shrimp?
01:05:47.000
So he said, why don't you just come down here and do it?
01:05:59.000
I was also thinking about the sucking off the piece of shit.
01:06:23.000
Yeah, then you're conceding a bullshit election.
01:06:36.000
Because I don't think Trump lost, but I still have to suck off a piece of shit.
01:06:48.000
I showed you sprinkles at the beginning of the show before we were racist.
01:06:53.000
And let's see if you understand what sprinkles means.
01:07:22.000
I just want to say, like, thanks so much for last night.
01:07:43.000
Like, ever since I got here, I've been jerked off once.
01:08:01.000
We're just choking around with my friends every single day.
01:08:05.000
Yeah, I mean, it's on for another minute and a half.
01:08:13.000
You could hear us sucking and fucking each other.
01:08:19.000
Oh, so what you're saying, you were in prime position to be fucked and sucked, too.
01:08:31.000
Having a sleepover and you're laying on the floor on a cot or whatever, and then saying goodnight, like when the lights are on.
01:08:52.000
So you just stop talking, just like, yeah, man, fucking, yeah, blah, blah, blah.
01:09:03.000
Like, those guys were old enough to drink, so you just pass out.
01:09:06.000
But if we're talking about adults, I mean, sorry, kids pre-drinking, then there's that thing where you're like, yeah, well, she probably doesn't even know what they said.
01:09:31.000
But you know what's a fun game at Sleepovers when you're a kid?
01:09:36.000
Like, wake up, go, wake up, and you grab the blanket and pull on it.
01:09:40.000
And you're both so weak that it's like two ants pulling on, like, it's pathetic.
01:09:55.000
And it's like, you get to see what it's like to be a girl.
01:09:59.000
Because I was just going to say that sounds fun, but I can't go back in time and be a kid during a sleepover.
01:10:13.000
Please remind Ryan that it's David versus Goliath, not versus.
01:10:24.000
I'm not a big accent guy, maybe because I'm Canadian.
01:10:27.000
But I'm more concerned with like actual grammatical mistakes.
01:10:45.000
You know, in California, they were killing the bald eagle.
01:10:48.000
If you shoot a bald eagle, they want to put you in jail for 10 years.
01:10:56.000
After a certain number, they make you turn the windmill off.
01:11:03.000
And yet, if you killed one, they put you in jail.
01:11:07.000
But why is it okay for these windmills to destroy the bird population?
01:11:16.000
Someone wants us to bring Crip Daddy to New York and feed him.
01:11:21.000
Check out this song I saw in Cringetopia today, I'm a Black Nigger.
01:11:34.000
Yeah, we're watching Feng Wang or whatever, like the Marvel Asian superhero movie, and there was a rap part.
01:11:40.000
And I'm like, in a Chinese rap, can they not say Naga?
01:11:49.000
Sorry, we're discussing the word there in Mandarin.
01:12:07.000
Shoot, I should have used that as an intro song.
01:12:11.000
Maybe ancient Chinese secret, but have you ever seen anything by PD USA on TikTok or YouTube?
01:12:17.000
Usually when people say ancient Chinese secret, it is the most ancient Chinese secret imaginable.
01:12:24.000
Trans on TikTok realizes being a man is hard, but the link is broken.
01:13:09.000
Listen, man, can I get you a glass of water or something?
01:13:18.000
So what kind of stuff have you been up to lately?
01:13:47.000
I think that guy, I would, I think he's got it.
01:13:51.000
So remember earlier I said, yeah, Ivanka may have used her name to get more copyright on a purse faster.
01:14:05.000
And he goes, Ivanka Trump uses her family name to run a legitimate business versus Hunter Biden is a vehicle for the U.S. political establishment to steal money from the U.S. taxpayer.
01:14:18.000
Ukraine gets billions of dollars in sweet loans and other aid from the United States.
01:14:23.000
Ukraine then gives made-up jobs in state-run companies to children, friends, and acquaintances of U.S. politicians, thus sending untold millions of aid back to U.S. politicians' pockets.
01:14:46.000
Hey, Gab, so my 12-year-old has self-esteem issues.
01:14:49.000
Meaning she told me she thinks she's transgender.
01:15:03.000
It means you want to fuck men and women at the age of 10.
01:15:08.000
I'm not just sexually attracted to women, meaning I want to suck their tits and spank them and make out with them.
01:15:14.000
I also am attracted to men, meaning I want to jerk them off and finger their buttholes or whatever women do to men.
01:15:27.000
I have a friend whose son is 13, and I think he just told me that when his son was 10, he said he was bisexual.
01:15:37.000
I was okay with this, but just assumed it was a phase.
01:15:39.000
Now she's wanting me to use he, they pronouns, and I refuse.
01:15:43.000
She's only 12, and I believe most of this is from social media and school, as we learned from libs of TikTok.
01:15:50.000
I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I will not call my daughter he, they.
01:15:55.000
Well, far be it from me to get directly involved in you raising a child, but if that was my kid, I'd say no.
01:16:05.000
It sounds like you might be gay, so we'll figure that out when you're 18.
01:16:17.000
Tell that to Desmond, who's turned into Milo for some reason.
01:16:26.000
Milo's just going to be flattered and turn around and be like, actually, Desmond's pretty cool.
01:16:36.000
That's the beauty of these male trans is, we don't have any tits to chop off.
01:17:22.000
I mean, what they do, they hold your kids at gunpoint.
01:17:26.000
And by that, I mean they say your child will kill himself if he's not allowed to indulge in what we decide is his or her sexuality.
01:17:42.000
If you could do everybody a favor and kind of track down where do you think that came from?
01:17:47.000
Like, is it from school, like fellow classmates meeting or the curriculum?
01:18:32.000
The video's from yesterday, but Alex Stein is so popular.
01:18:45.000
I am tired of hearing folks call in every week trying to defend video games.
01:18:49.000
They're for children and a giant waste of time.
01:18:57.000
When I first read that, I thought it was learn BJs.
01:19:09.000
Instead of taking the slow drip of dopamine, you get dominating 13-year-olds in Call of Duty.
01:19:15.000
I regret the time I spent on those things in high school.
01:19:17.000
Instead, I could have learned a real fucking skill.
01:19:20.000
I hope the younger viewers listen to your advice so they don't get caught in the same loophole so many of the last two generations have.
01:19:28.000
And maybe if you weren't playing video games, all those years you'd have known how to spell advice.
01:19:54.000
Well, I'm a gamer, and I play around three hours of League of Legends.
01:20:19.000
Gavin, I received a suspicious phone call two weeks ago from a girl I knew in high school.
01:20:26.000
I didn't know her well, and she was curious to know what I was up to.
01:20:28.000
I suspected my ex-girlfriend to put her up to it, and sure enough, she called me later that evening.
01:20:32.000
We had several conversation and texts over the course of a few days.
01:20:35.000
We caught up with each other, had a few laughs, exchanged some grievances, and discussed how things went wrong.
01:20:40.000
I left the door open to future conversations, and she agreed.
01:20:44.000
We'd been together for several years, starting just after high school, and split because I was not ready to get married.
01:20:49.000
She got engaged shortly after, and she lives across the country in a house she bought with her assumed husband.
01:21:00.000
Without overtly speaking about her current relationship, he was not mentioned throughout.
01:21:09.000
If you think I should pull the trigger, any strategic advice would be appreciated.
01:21:13.000
I have a decent plan, but need some encouragement one way or the other.
01:21:23.000
He'd probably want to fucking kill me if he found out I was getting involved in this.
01:21:28.000
But I used to say in my single days, if you can get someone out of a relationship, they're not in a good relationship.
01:21:38.000
I guess I would try to figure out if this is ethical.
01:21:52.000
So, if it's a normal functioning marriage, I don't know if you could handle the guilt of sabotaging it by getting in there.
01:22:00.000
And also, you meet a woman through infidelity, you're probably going to lose her through infidelity.
01:22:07.000
You can't pull her away from a thing and then not be there forever.
01:22:11.000
So if you dump her now, she's just got a big commitment.
01:22:15.000
But if her marriage sucks shit and you're madly in love with her, I don't know.
01:22:19.000
Doesn't sound very Christian to me, but go nuts.
01:22:35.000
That's weird because I just watched it like an hour ago.
01:22:54.000
I have a burner, and I was able to open it on my computer with my burner.
01:23:17.000
Anyway, it's Steve Asante, the most disgusting, fat, disgusting pig in the world who got married, by the way.
01:23:25.000
Like, when he came into Dr. No's office, people were dry heaving from the smell.
01:23:39.000
I would ask how y'all doing, but I have an idea.
01:23:44.000
We obviously have a couple of issues that we have to address.
01:23:53.000
So that means after doing exceptionally well for the first two months, you started gaining again.
01:23:59.000
And the second issue is Justin claimed that you stole his painkillers.
01:24:04.000
And if you did that, I'm not interested in hearing your lies and your excuses.
01:24:12.000
And if you find any painkillers in your system, we're going to have a serious problem.
01:24:17.000
I told you, if you did this one more time, that's it.
01:24:22.000
And on top of that, we have a dysfunctional dynamic with your family that seems to make you in your better situation.
01:25:06.000
Why do I have single male friends who can't find Mrs. Wright?
01:25:21.000
Of course, it's the parents' fault for getting divorced.
01:25:36.000
So me and my younger brother, Justin, put up with a lot of abuse because of that.
01:25:48.000
Their mother did have a drinking problem and I just overlooked it.
01:25:55.000
But Justin was about five and Stephen was around 11.
01:25:59.000
Every time I hear about drinking problems, I feel like getting wasted.
01:26:02.000
My brother and I went to the speaking of fat cells.
01:26:21.000
Ryan, you skipped over the one that says he stinks.
01:26:28.000
Why would you not put the one where he says he stinks?
01:26:41.000
So what is going on with your personal hygiene?
01:26:50.000
There are a couple of people back there puking from the smell that you have.
01:27:06.000
Well, I do have a rash underneath here too, so that's smelly.
01:27:31.000
This fat bitch, this factivist, fat activist just died.
01:27:38.000
Fat studies scholar Kat Pase suddenly died in her sleep last week for reasons that have not been made public.
01:27:43.000
The American Academic was an activist who spoke about countering fat stigma, queering fatness, and opposing healthcare bias against the obese.
01:28:03.000
Like, what do we always say about all this stuff?
01:28:09.000
It's not that we're saying you're not pretty, but you're not.
01:28:16.000
You're someone with a noose around your neck standing on a block of ice going, oh, I get it.
01:28:35.000
And then the problem is now they die and you can't say, I told you so.
01:28:57.000
Glaswegians are a special brand of human being.
01:29:05.000
And you can tell when you see someone whether they can knock you out or not.
01:29:12.000
And if you have an iron jaw and you've been in a lot of fights, then you can look at the guy and say, you can punch me as hard as you can, and I will not go down.
01:29:21.000
In fact, you may even say, I can guarantee you I won't go done.
01:29:28.000
Dun, of course, is the Scottish pronunciation of down.
01:29:31.000
And here we have someone perfectly predicting how it will go if they get punched in the face.
01:29:41.000
The Scots, they're street fighters and they can size up situations like no one else.