Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S4E112 - BLACK COMEDY

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness.

00:00:28.000 The sun goes up, the sun goes down, I don't feel you, I feel the dawn.

00:00:43.000 I feel the dawn.

00:00:46.000 That was Jack White.

00:00:49.000 He's no longer in the red stripes.

00:00:52.000 Did you know that?

00:00:53.000 The white stripes.

00:00:54.000 No, it's red stripes.

00:00:56.000 He's not into the beer anymore?

00:00:58.000 No, it's named after the American flag.

00:01:01.000 Okay.

00:01:01.000 I didn't know that.

00:01:02.000 Another called the Red Stripes was him and a fat chick named Meg.

00:01:06.000 Could have sworn.

00:01:07.000 Did you know Joe Biggs, he doesn't have a show here.

00:01:11.000 We didn't want them to use it as evidence, but when he comes back, he might do a show, and it's going to be very African-American-based.

00:01:18.000 It's going to be him with black dudes just looking at chicks. 0.98

00:01:23.000 You know, big butts and that kind of stuff. 1.00

00:01:26.000 Just a fun, kind of a sexy show.

00:01:29.000 I swear, I thought you were going to say Joe Niggs.

00:01:32.000 No, it's called Niggs and Pigs with Joe Diggs.

00:01:37.000 See, I thought.

00:01:38.000 I don't like that name.

00:01:39.000 So I told him, I was like, you're not calling it that, dude.

00:01:43.000 And you're not going to get any guests if that's the name of the show.

00:01:46.000 He's more focused on January 6th now, anyway.

00:01:51.000 While I was entertaining you fuckers last night, the Mets played the greatest game in the history of baseball.

00:01:57.000 Their biggest comeback in, I think, 23 years.

00:01:59.000 They were 0-7 at the ninth inning and then won it.

00:02:04.000 I talked to Gino Biscante.

00:02:05.000 So, you know, Gino likes the Phillies, so he bet 50 bucks on it.

00:02:10.000 And he goes yesterday, or sorry, Wednesday.

00:02:15.000 He goes, yeah, I'm out.

00:02:17.000 I go, what?

00:02:19.000 I said, we talked about this at Infinitum.

00:02:21.000 That's why you chose $50 because you're not as rich as me and you didn't want to lose too much money.

00:02:26.000 And he goes, yeah, I didn't think it through.

00:02:29.000 I go, no, what this means is you're not a man of your word.

00:02:33.000 You're the Aaron Berg of baseball bets.

00:02:36.000 And he's like, yeah, I just, it's too, I already hurt every time I see the Phillies lose.

00:02:42.000 I don't want to add more pain to that.

00:02:43.000 I'm like, that's the whole, this wasn't rocket science.

00:02:46.000 I didn't say like every third Thursday of the month you have to eat a pear and then you found out you're allergic to pears.

00:02:53.000 No, even that, you'd know you were allergic to pears already.

00:02:56.000 Yeah.

00:02:57.000 So everything was out on the table and you just fucking pussied out. 0.95

00:03:02.000 You fucking guess hole.

00:03:05.000 Am I getting, so we have a new background.

00:03:07.000 This is the background for the fun intro parts of the show.

00:03:10.000 This might get on my nerves, though.

00:03:12.000 Elon just looking at you?

00:03:14.000 Yeah.

00:03:14.000 Well, he's not reading the paper.

00:03:16.000 He's interested in what you're saying.

00:03:17.000 He's not letting me back on Twitter.

00:03:19.000 That's true.

00:03:21.000 Why are we letting him on our platform then?

00:03:23.000 I shouldn't be back on Twitter.

00:03:24.000 I'm too mean.

00:03:26.000 I have a tattoo that says ain't no nice guy because I'm not a nice person.

00:03:31.000 He's not a nice person.

00:03:32.000 What's that from?

00:03:35.000 Trump said it.

00:03:37.000 He's not a nice person.

00:03:38.000 Or she's not a nice person, I think.

00:03:42.000 Like, we're going to get into this abortion shit in a second.

00:03:45.000 This Proud Boy stalker wrote an article about how she had an abortion and she doesn't regret it. 0.99

00:03:52.000 And everyone's telling her she's brave.

00:03:53.000 And I would tweet at her.

00:03:57.000 How brave of you to kill a baby because you were stressed out about the pandemic.

00:04:01.000 Then I would be blocked.

00:04:02.000 And I would just keep going through that.

00:04:05.000 Saying things that would just make people want to kill themselves.

00:04:08.000 There'd be mass suicides if I was allowed back on Twitter.

00:04:13.000 So yeah, my bet is 19-9.

00:04:15.000 They're third in the entire league.

00:04:18.000 $720.

00:04:19.000 Gino said, he texted me.

00:04:21.000 He goes, thank God I don't have a gun because it would be in my mouth at that game.

00:04:27.000 We were destroying you until the ninth inning where we won.

00:04:30.000 I had people texting me going, I don't really like baseball or the Mets, but it was on in a bar.

00:04:34.000 Holy fuck.

00:04:35.000 Yeah.

00:04:36.000 What a rally.

00:04:37.000 I've got it here.

00:04:38.000 One, two.

00:04:39.000 Fucking the one, two. 0.99

00:04:40.000 What did Brandon Nimmo say?

00:04:42.000 I'm sure everyone counted us out.

00:04:44.000 These guys, they don't give up.

00:04:45.000 With that mentality, anything is possible.

00:04:49.000 These are all great lessons.

00:04:50.000 This is why your kids should get into sports.

00:04:52.000 I'm an optimist.

00:04:53.000 I just keep going until they blow the whistle.

00:04:55.000 You just never give up.

00:04:57.000 The stats can say all they want.

00:04:59.000 They say it can't be done, but that's why you play the game.

00:05:02.000 So somebody...

00:05:03.000 It's four and seven.

00:05:04.000 You've had people write into you to clarify the betting, how the bet works.

00:05:08.000 Oh, my God.

00:05:08.000 Thank you for that.

00:05:09.000 Jesus Christ.

00:05:10.000 I have 100 emails about how my bet works.

00:05:16.000 It really gets into your head this game.

00:05:18.000 I bet golf is the same way.

00:05:21.000 Like you have a shitty hole and then you're just like, I hate myself. 1.00

00:05:24.000 Actually, I know that for a fact.

00:05:25.000 That's what happens to me.

00:05:27.000 What a game that must have been to be at.

00:05:29.000 Imagine how shitty you felt if you left early to beat the traffic.

00:05:34.000 Holy fuck.

00:05:38.000 We should go to the driving range and film it.

00:05:42.000 Okay.

00:05:42.000 That'd be a cool little thing.

00:05:44.000 And then maybe you could teach me how to hit a ball like my dad never did.

00:05:49.000 Yeah, okay.

00:05:49.000 Prodigal son.

00:05:52.000 Ryan Catsu Rivera is the only person in the world to get a ball stuck in a tree.

00:05:57.000 Oh, that's right.

00:05:58.000 In golf, yes.

00:06:00.000 And then he started throwing a club at the ball like it's what he does for a living, thinking he's going to knock the ball down.

00:06:07.000 And didn't we all have a scare?

00:06:08.000 We all looked at it because the club looked like it was going to stick up there for a second or something.

00:06:12.000 Whoa, whoa.

00:06:13.000 Obviously, the club is way easier to stay in a tree.

00:06:18.000 As I learned.

00:06:18.000 Would you rather go to jail for a month or go to jail until you can get a ball stuck in a tree?

00:06:26.000 So we let you out for an hour a day.

00:06:30.000 It sounds more fun to do the ball thing.

00:06:34.000 Yeah, not after you're 36, it's not.

00:06:36.000 So you have just one hour to try it each day?

00:06:39.000 you get your fucking hair out of your face?

00:06:41.000 I gotta put money in my jar.

00:06:46.000 You put a doll in your jar every time?

00:06:47.000 What?

00:06:48.000 I touch my hair on camera.

00:06:50.000 Off camera?

00:06:50.000 I can touch it all I want.

00:06:55.000 Just use your eyeballs correctly, please.

00:06:58.000 I don't think that's too much to ask for.

00:07:00.000 Get the bet out of here.

00:07:01.000 We got it.

00:07:04.000 So what would you do?

00:07:06.000 I would do the ball thing.

00:07:08.000 I'm pretty confident I can get that ball up there.

00:07:10.000 Good.

00:07:10.000 I'm glad because I want you to do 12 years.

00:07:13.000 You would do 12 years, my friend.

00:07:15.000 Yeah, maybe you're right.

00:07:16.000 I always say to people, would you rather go to jail until you can do a Rubik's Cube or one month?

00:07:23.000 They always choose the cube.

00:07:25.000 And I'm like, okay, bye.

00:07:27.000 Can I have your shit?

00:07:29.000 Because you're not coming back.

00:07:31.000 No fucking way.

00:07:33.000 I think you'd rather fail really badly if you have some control than just be helpless for three years into it.

00:07:42.000 And you're just like, what the fuck?

00:07:47.000 I don't think I could ever do the Rubik's Cube.

00:07:49.000 I mean, I've tried 900 times.

00:07:50.000 It's an algorithm.

00:07:51.000 You can do it one color.

00:07:53.000 Yeah.

00:07:54.000 But one woman I proposed that to, and she goes, oh, I'd definitely do the Rubik's Cube. 1.00

00:07:59.000 Why?

00:07:59.000 Oh, you'd be done all the possible combinations in about a day or two.

00:08:06.000 What do you mean?

00:08:07.000 She goes, well, how many things are there?

00:08:10.000 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.

00:08:12.000 So it's nine times nine times nine times nine times nine.

00:08:15.000 And I'm like, no, it's not.

00:08:17.000 She reckons herself a bit of a math whiz, I should tell you.

00:08:22.000 And I don't know how many combinations it is.

00:08:24.000 It's really complex, math.

00:08:26.000 Exponents, right.

00:08:27.000 And we looked it up, and it's like 9 zillion cadrazillion.

00:08:32.000 It's a new number.

00:08:33.000 It's like a Googleplex.

00:08:35.000 I can look it up here.

00:08:38.000 43 quintillion.

00:08:43.000 That's a little more than 9 times 99999999.

00:08:47.000 Even if it was 9, 10, 9, 9, 9, 9, that still sucks.

00:08:49.000 You have to remember all those combinations, mind you.

00:08:52.000 You might repeat some, yeah.

00:08:54.000 I did it two or that's probably six summers ago.

00:08:58.000 I just kept solving the Rubik's Cube because you look up the algorithm and then you have the pattern, so you just fucking do it.

00:09:04.000 And you challenge yourself a little bit.

00:09:06.000 Wait, you can do a Rubik's Cube and I can't?

00:09:09.000 I had.

00:09:10.000 It comes with a little paper nowadays.

00:09:12.000 And it tells you the algorithms, and you just follow that until you fix it.

00:09:15.000 Algorithms.

00:09:16.000 So it tells you if you got one standing out on the top right corner, this is what you do.

00:09:20.000 If you got one in the middle, this is what you do.

00:09:22.000 And pretty much that's all the...

00:09:24.000 That's really all you need to know.

00:09:26.000 But the thing I don't get is you get one color and then when you go to get the other color, you fuck up your previous color.

00:09:31.000 Well, you get a cross first. 0.96

00:09:33.000 First, you get the whole thing.

00:09:34.000 So the core, every core is in the...

00:09:37.000 It's like a cross.

00:09:39.000 And then you got to just figure out the corners.

00:09:41.000 Now you're good.

00:09:43.000 It's pretty simple.

00:09:44.000 I figured it out.

00:09:46.000 You ever see that documentary with those guys that can do it in like a nanosecond?

00:09:50.000 Yeah, that's pretty nuts.

00:09:53.000 It's some Asian dude who I think is the world champion, and he's clearly autistic beyond recognition. 1.00

00:09:59.000 Beyond recognition.

00:10:01.000 And then the number two guy is like a normal Australian dude. 0.69

00:10:06.000 There was a good documentary about it.

00:10:08.000 This kid?

00:10:11.000 Oh, is this the kid who had a boner?

00:10:13.000 Oh, yeah, everybody had a boner?

00:10:16.000 Hello, video.

00:10:24.000 It's not boner kid.

00:10:27.000 That's the guy.

00:10:27.000 I recognize him, yeah.

00:10:31.000 And then there's the weird Asian who has to bring his parents everywhere. 1.00

00:10:37.000 We're going to talk about racism later on the show.

00:10:42.000 But also before we get started, Media Malfeasance, Project Veritas, I was hanging out with them last night, actually.

00:10:49.000 They are on fire recently.

00:10:52.000 Like, remember the old days in our old studio?

00:10:56.000 Oh, two months have gone by.

00:10:57.000 We have a Project Veritas story.

00:11:00.000 Nope.

00:11:01.000 Now it is at least once a week.

00:11:04.000 I said to James, I go, please just do a show on this network.

00:11:07.000 You could just cover Project Veritas and you'd have an episode.

00:11:11.000 Maybe not an episode a day, but you'd have like three a week.

00:11:15.000 So last night he's got this, I don't know if I should be saying this out of turn, but he's got this Twitter dude.

00:11:22.000 Ooh, okay, this is dangerous here, but I'm going to risk it.

00:11:26.000 He's got this Twitter dude on file talking about gimps and spastics and autistic.

00:11:32.000 He's a homo, and he's making fun of people with disabilities, which I do every day, including with people with disabilities like Crip Daddy. 1.00

00:11:41.000 Maybe we should get him on the show.

00:11:45.000 But he chased him down.

00:11:48.000 And I saw the video.

00:11:49.000 The camera work is fucking fantastic.

00:11:51.000 But, oh, good.

00:11:53.000 Sorry.

00:11:55.000 Hiding in the audience.

00:11:56.000 The owner of the comedy club came out and told me that he is a fan of Elon Musk.

00:12:00.000 The owner is.

00:12:01.000 And invited me to go on stage.

00:12:03.000 I'm not making this up.

00:12:04.000 This is not an undercover thing.

00:12:05.000 This is actually happening in New York City.

00:12:07.000 I'm about to go on stage with a videotape of this Twitter executive and confront me again.

00:12:16.000 This is not planned.

00:12:17.000 I'm following this Twitter person.

00:12:19.000 He's sitting in the audience.

00:12:21.000 This is where we started the show.

00:12:23.000 Upstairs.

00:12:24.000 Where am I going?

00:12:27.000 Oh, there he is.

00:12:27.000 He's turned around.

00:12:29.000 He's turned.

00:12:30.000 It's kind of unfortunate he didn't get to hit the stage.

00:12:33.000 I know.

00:12:33.000 Wouldn't that have been great?

00:12:37.000 He does a tight five.

00:12:39.000 Have you been on airplanes lately?

00:12:46.000 So did you understand what happened there?

00:12:47.000 He's chasing the guy down for making fun of handicaps.

00:12:50.000 And he ran to the stand where we started free speech.

00:12:54.000 That location is where I said to that woman, well, you're not talking about Turkey.

00:12:59.000 You're not talking about Eastern Europe.

00:13:02.000 Countries have better systems, have more white people in them. 0.62

00:13:08.000 So, yeah, the owner of the stand, that's the guy suing Facebook or Twitter.

00:13:15.000 I think he's also suing the city.

00:13:16.000 I think he's suing de Blasio because he lost so much money during COVID.

00:13:20.000 He's a fucking ballsy dude.

00:13:22.000 He's a very Breitbart-like guy, the owner of the stand.

00:13:25.000 This guy's wrong, by the way.

00:13:26.000 This just happened and it's bananas.

00:13:28.000 No, bananas is in Hasbrook Heights.

00:13:31.000 This is stand-up New York.

00:13:34.000 Wrong.

00:13:36.000 The guy went to get into his house.

00:13:38.000 And then they go to a restaurant and the woman goes, he runs into a restaurant.

00:13:42.000 So James chases him in there.

00:13:43.000 And the woman goes, oh, my God, James O'Keefe.

00:13:46.000 And then she said, and this is unheard of, make sure you tag my restaurant in this video.

00:13:53.000 I'm from Czechoslovakia.

00:13:54.000 We lived under Stalin.

00:13:56.000 And I fucking love you guys, and I hate this bullshit.

00:14:00.000 What the fuck is going on?

00:14:01.000 Are the tides turning?

00:14:03.000 James O'Keefe used to need a bodyguard to walk around Manhattan.

00:14:07.000 Now people are like, would you like a drink?

00:14:10.000 Get on stage.

00:14:11.000 Let's find the guy you're chasing down.

00:14:16.000 But he's gay. 0.71

00:14:17.000 You're bullying a homosexual. 1.00

00:14:19.000 Sorry, you guys wanted equality.

00:14:20.000 You got it now.

00:14:21.000 What do you think?

00:14:22.000 You're in with the rest of us.

00:14:25.000 Okay, I think we're ready to.

00:14:26.000 Oh, yeah.

00:14:27.000 So, wait a minute.

00:14:28.000 That's not even the story I meant to get to.

00:14:34.000 Like, the guy, it's a well-oiled machine over there.

00:14:37.000 I'm honestly in awe.

00:14:40.000 I think this is everything Vice could have been if I had stayed there and I gave a shit about fucking global travel.

00:14:51.000 So Project Veritas tracks down all these visas and disco- No, no, no, I should always be on the right-hand side.

00:14:57.000 And discovers that they are giving them to terrorists.

00:15:03.000 Took me about 10 years to get my American citizenship.

00:15:07.000 I had to spend $10,000 in various visas updating H-1Bs until I got a green card.

00:15:12.000 I took way too long, and that's on me.

00:15:15.000 But eventually I got it.

00:15:16.000 Hard work.

00:15:16.000 Had to prove.

00:15:18.000 When we moved here with Vice, we had to show that we were providing like 20 jobs to Americans.

00:15:23.000 And then they were like, okay, maybe a visa.

00:15:26.000 But if you're a Muslim terrorist, come on board. 1.00

00:15:29.000 Okay, now play it there.

00:15:33.000 Yeah.

00:15:34.000 Anwar Halakh Wahidi, who is classified as a category 15 threat by the Department of Homeland Security for having used explosives for arms.

00:15:46.000 How many people that were participating in the meandering of Jan 6 are in solitary confinement right now, while these guys are literally getting sanctioned by the government?

00:15:58.000 Stamp, you're in.

00:16:00.000 So those guys who followed the police, who held the door open, they're in prison right now.

00:16:08.000 It's been probably 18 months since they've been there, January, February, March, April, May.

00:16:14.000 16 months they've been in there.

00:16:16.000 And we're giving visas to not sort of terrorists, not potentially dangerous Muslims, but terrorists with criminal records that include terrorism. 0.56

00:16:30.000 What a shit show.

00:16:31.000 We are.

00:16:32.000 America has become a ship of fools.

00:16:35.000 The lunatics are running the asylum.

00:16:38.000 We're being led by the blind.

00:16:40.000 Ad Rahimi entered the U.S. on August 24th, 2021.

00:16:44.000 Flagged by DHS because he has engaged or is likely to engage in an unspecified violent terrorist act.

00:16:52.000 Despite being apprehended by ICE while in the U.S., he is yet to be deported, and his last known address is in our nation's capital.

00:16:59.000 Ismail Jarat arrived in the U.S. on August 31st, 2021.

00:17:04.000 Less than a month later, he was re-added to the terror watch list as a category 15 used explosives or arms.

00:17:12.000 Since then, his work visa has been approved.

00:17:15.000 Tasanola Wafa Manazile was paroled into the U.S. on October 1st.

00:17:19.000 Can you just float these by me first?

00:17:21.000 Because I can tell by their face that they're terrorists.

00:17:26.000 They have a fuck you face at every one.

00:17:29.000 Like, pose for the photo, please.

00:17:30.000 And I wouldn't even take the picture.

00:17:31.000 I'd be like, you're out of here.

00:17:33.000 Next.

00:17:35.000 Go and take a picture of me, infidel. 1.00

00:17:37.000 I'm not taking a picture of you.

00:17:38.000 You're out of here.

00:17:39.000 They're stuck like that because when they're wiring the explosive, they.

00:17:45.000 By the way.

00:17:46.000 Oh, yeah.

00:17:47.000 We're behind the pay.

00:17:48.000 I was going to say, by the way, freeloaders, you should check out the second half of last night's show.

00:17:51.000 We really got into it with Dick Man.

00:17:54.000 But if you're watching this, you're behind the paywall, Gavin.

00:17:59.000 18th, 2021.

00:18:01.000 The next day, he was re-added to the terror watch list as a category 7 threat if enters the U.S. Also approved for his two-year work visa.

00:18:10.000 Meet Anwar Halak Wahidi.

00:18:14.000 If anything, if I was a journalist, that was my job.

00:18:16.000 I worked at the New York Times.

00:18:17.000 I would look at Project Fairy Task and go, I suck.

00:18:22.000 I suck at my job.

00:18:24.000 I haven't uncovered it.

00:18:26.000 Like Alan Froyer, who's devoted, I don't know, 40 articles to January 6th or all of these hate watch fucking loser cunts that are obsessed with the Proud Boys.

00:18:39.000 There's real stories going on out there.

00:18:41.000 They don't involve white people, unfortunately.

00:18:44.000 So I guess you're not interested.

00:18:46.000 He found the other Alan.

00:18:48.000 I found the other me.

00:18:51.000 That's cool.

00:18:52.000 That's a whole documentary, by the way, of him talking about this billionaire who's also named that.

00:19:00.000 Great story, dude.

00:19:02.000 I found a Gavin McInnis in Australia.

00:19:03.000 Should I do a doc?

00:19:06.000 Anyway, let's jump into feminism. 1.00

00:19:08.000 Well, we're going to start the show.

00:19:09.000 So, first we start the show.

00:19:19.000 And then we leap right into feminism. 1.00

00:19:22.000 This is kind of a hole with the plot here because we need two interstitials, starting the show and then the thing we're starting the show with.

00:19:33.000 Who here identifies as a feminist? 1.00

00:19:35.000 We are the storm, the very form of change that the world has been waiting for.

00:19:44.000 You said I was too pretty to fight.

00:19:49.000 That's tough to Gonesculitany if you don't realize how you're behaving.

00:19:57.000 Did you make that?

00:19:58.000 Yes.

00:20:00.000 What, you're going to say it was good, but then you took it away because I made it?

00:20:03.000 Yeah, now I hate it.

00:20:04.000 There's somebody in that intro that they watched the show and they were like, why am I in that?

00:20:11.000 And I'm like, oh, shit.

00:20:12.000 Do you want us to take you out?

00:20:13.000 And they're like, no, no, we love it.

00:20:15.000 We laugh every time we see it.

00:20:16.000 Don't we have a triangle one for feminism? 1.00

00:20:20.000 I'm looking.

00:20:22.000 Well, this one was made by Jose, so I think this is our feminism one from him.

00:20:29.000 I want a triangle one for all of them.

00:20:30.000 I've told you that 760 times.

00:20:32.000 It's true.

00:20:33.000 I guess we.

00:20:35.000 We don't have one from him.

00:20:36.000 Okay, well, get on that.

00:20:38.000 Get a triangle one.

00:20:39.000 I'll get on it.

00:20:41.000 I'm going to write that down because if you don't do that, I'm going to fucking murder you.

00:20:45.000 Well, it's in my best interest to not be murdered, so I will also write that down.

00:20:50.000 So this abortion thing, we talked about this yesterday, and everyone on the right says, we're fucked.

00:20:57.000 That was really bad.

00:20:58.000 The leak is terrible news.

00:21:00.000 Women are going to come out in force for the election now, and we're going to not, we might not lose in the midterms, but it's no longer going to be a tidal wave. 0.98

00:21:09.000 And I'm like, I get that logic, but hear me out.

00:21:13.000 These stupid bitches have gone from rational discussions like, if abortion is illegal, then we'll die doing shitty ones. 1.00

00:21:22.000 And what if a girl was raped? 0.84

00:21:23.000 And all those kind of things where it tugs on your heartstrings, right?

00:21:26.000 They've abandoned that and they're like, fuck them kids.

00:21:29.000 Now, surely when you do that, the GOP goes, I'm going to vote because I don't want these fucking abortions anymore. 0.98

00:21:38.000 So the abortionists have ruined their brand. 1.00

00:21:41.000 So couldn't you argue that the leak is good for us?

00:21:45.000 Because they go, oh, good.

00:21:46.000 They're talking about overturning Roe v.

00:21:48.000 Wade.

00:21:49.000 Also, people always forget that 50% of women are pro-life. 0.88

00:21:58.000 So they're going to get off the couch, too.

00:22:00.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:22:01.000 I think it's good that that leaked.

00:22:04.000 I think it's good that overturning Roe v.

00:22:06.000 Wade is on the horizon.

00:22:07.000 Now, these fucking idiots think that it's going to be illegal coast to coast to have an abortion. 1.00

00:22:12.000 No, it's just no longer federal law.

00:22:14.000 It'll be like marijuana.

00:22:15.000 States can do what they want.

00:22:18.000 And in other words, ladies, worst case scenario is you're not in a Demron city, which is pretty hard to find these days, and you have to go on a road trip because you're a whore. 1.00

00:22:30.000 Hey, I got to show you that chart that Garrett sent me because it breaks down how often they do how often they get an abortion just for no reason.

00:22:45.000 Now, of course, the right handles a lot of this propaganda, so they really expand on the choice part.

00:22:54.000 And they say, oh, she did it because family matters or fear or geography and blah, blah, blah.

00:22:59.000 It's just different ways of saying it was her prerogative, right?

00:23:05.000 I sent it to your Gmail, Ryan.

00:23:09.000 But yeah, it's never rape.

00:23:11.000 It's never incest.

00:23:13.000 It's always just, pff.

00:23:16.000 I wasn't in the mood.

00:23:17.000 And they, I don't know the exact numbers, but close to half the time, it's, yeah, I was all set up.

00:23:25.000 I already had a kid.

00:23:26.000 I just, it was bad timing.

00:23:30.000 Incest, nothing.

00:23:32.000 Life endangered, nothing.

00:23:34.000 Raped, nothing.

00:23:36.000 Women's physical health, still not even 1%. 1.00

00:23:42.000 Fetal abnormality.

00:23:44.000 Oh, shit.

00:23:45.000 Isn't that weird that it's a number of the beast?

00:23:46.000 Yes.

00:23:48.000 Social or economic reasons.

00:23:50.000 You'd think that would be a doozy.

00:23:51.000 That's what everyone accepts.

00:23:53.000 Look, the left is racist.

00:23:54.000 They don't think that blacks can handle themselves.

00:23:57.000 So they think that abortion is just a crackhead mom preventing another thug from entering the streets. 1.00

00:24:04.000 So they say it means less blacks.

00:24:07.000 Like Howard Stern accidentally on a daily basis says, I'm for abortion because it means less blacks.

00:24:13.000 He thinks of them as like rescues, like Beth's kittens.

00:24:18.000 So that's only 6%.

00:24:23.000 And then 92% are just like, eh, I want to do it.

00:24:27.000 So that brings us to this fucking bitch I was talking about. 1.00

00:24:32.000 2-0.

00:24:36.000 No, 2-0, Ryan.

00:24:41.000 So her name is E.J. Dixon.

00:24:43.000 She's a proud boy stalker.

00:24:45.000 And she's a silly little girl, like a babysitter type. 1.00

00:24:49.000 But she's married and has a kid. 1.00

00:24:51.000 There are a million reasons to get an abortion. 1.00

00:24:54.000 This was mine.

00:24:55.000 I didn't want to have an abortion. 0.76

00:24:57.000 Period.

00:24:58.000 New sentence in a byline, in a subhead.

00:25:02.000 But I also knew that I could not, couldn't not have one.

00:25:06.000 Double negative and a new sentence with but in a fucking subhead.

00:25:11.000 Nice grammar, Rolling Stone.

00:25:13.000 So yeah, this silly cunt wrote this article about her abortion, and I saw it on Twitter, and everyone is like. 0.91

00:25:23.000 That was so brave.

00:25:24.000 You did it.

00:25:25.000 And as a brainwashed ex-liberal, when I see that and I go, oh, so I'm going to assume best case scenario, she was flat broke. 1.00

00:25:36.000 She was 17, 18.

00:25:39.000 She was living on the streets or staying at a friend's house and the kid, she wanted the kid to have a better life.

00:25:46.000 And she wasn't prepared to put it up for adoption.

00:25:49.000 And then worst case scenario, she was raped or whatever. 0.69

00:25:51.000 It was going to be grossly deformed.

00:25:54.000 No, none of those.

00:25:59.000 This is her reason For killing her baby. 0.88

00:26:02.000 At the time, I had my abortion.

00:26:04.000 I was not a callous baby murder-loving bitch.

00:26:08.000 Yeah, you were.

00:26:09.000 On the contrary, I wanted desperately to become a mother again and to give my son a sibling.

00:26:14.000 She wanted a kid.

00:26:15.000 It was just an inconvenient day.

00:26:18.000 That's like Amber Tamblin.

00:26:19.000 She got an abortion before she was married because, I don't know, I don't be all fat at the wedding or whatever.

00:26:26.000 It was an inconvenient timing, but just a little off.

00:26:29.000 I know of a few couples like this where they met, they're dating, they're going to get married, then she got pregnant before the marriage, and she's like, meh, it'll look like a shotgun wedding. 0.99

00:26:38.000 Let's just abort this one, and then we'll have a real one like four months after we're married. 0.96

00:26:42.000 Oh, sorry.

00:26:42.000 So the punishment for being too early to the party is death.

00:26:47.000 With adults, if you show up too early to the party, people go, oh, you're kind of early.

00:26:52.000 Not if you're a baby.

00:26:53.000 Then you're dead.

00:26:56.000 The desire to have another child to clean, split, and squeeze chubby legs and feel a tiny, warm body fall asleep on my chest consumed my every waking moment.

00:27:04.000 What?

00:27:05.000 To the point that moms on the street were probably sick, wary of how much attention I gave to their babies. 0.72

00:27:15.000 But, but, she loves the new sentence with but, but my desire to have a baby coincided with the advent of the pandemic, which absolutely fucking wrecked my mental health, you guys.

00:27:24.000 I spent most of my time sanitizing groceries.

00:27:27.000 I was worrying about the then three-year-old son.

00:27:30.000 So she had been worrying and stuff, and she was crying, calling her dad.

00:27:35.000 I mean, you can't have a baby if you're sad.

00:27:39.000 You can't have a baby if you're worried about the pandemic.

00:27:41.000 My OCD had gone into overdrive.

00:27:43.000 I also developed an intense vomit phobia.

00:27:46.000 I murdered my baby because I was scared of Barf.

00:27:50.000 I was neither eating nor sleeping.

00:27:52.000 I was in such a state of constant unrelenting anxiety.

00:27:54.000 You know who else had a lot of anxiety during the pandemic?

00:27:58.000 Earth.

00:28:00.000 Everyone, you spoiled fucking brat.

00:28:06.000 Baby's dead.

00:28:12.000 Yeah, and this is the girl, by the way.

00:28:13.000 Go to 2-1.

00:28:15.000 So you wonder, like, you keep seeing the Proud Boys attacked, and you're like, why do they keep attacking Proud Boys?

00:28:21.000 Is it because they're pro-family?

00:28:24.000 They're just bodyguarding someone.

00:28:26.000 And then look, this is the same woman who wrote The Rise and the Fall of the Proud Boys, where she says the group trotted out its charismatic and media-credentialed leader, vice co-founder, and cable news pundit, Gavin McInnes, as quote-unquote, evidence that it was a legitimate group.

00:28:43.000 Yeah, it is evidence.

00:28:46.000 McInnis has always espoused misogynistic views, and I think he saw an opening for himself with the rise of the men's rights movement in the 2010s.

00:28:55.000 Says Julia DeCook, an assistant professor at Loyola University who studies digital platforms and the far right.

00:29:02.000 Without exception, these women who examine the far right are fucking childless spinster cunts or women with the kid who are constantly aborting their next child. 1.00

00:29:17.000 They are mentally fucked.

00:29:20.000 They're never normal women. 1.00

00:29:23.000 They're killing a baby because they feel stressed out.

00:29:26.000 So this woman can't even handle her own home life. 1.00

00:29:28.000 And she's sitting there criticizing other groups and saying the Proud Boys would later play a similar shell game with Tario, who's Afro-Cuban, citing his leadership role as evidence that it was not a white supremacist group.

00:29:40.000 Yeah, that is evidence.

00:29:43.000 Despite its anti-immigrant, misogynistic, just say misogynist.

00:29:47.000 Misogynist is an adjective and a noun.

00:29:50.000 Don't say misogynistic.

00:29:52.000 I hate that word.

00:29:53.000 It's like communistic or terroristic.

00:29:55.000 And Islamophobic rhetoric and many of its members having neo-Nazi affiliations.

00:30:01.000 So she's sitting there nitpicking, monitoring proud boys, saying some of them have neo-Nazi.

00:30:07.000 That guy spoke to a guy who knows a Nazi.

00:30:09.000 Oh, really?

00:30:10.000 So you're judging other people?

00:30:11.000 How's your home life?

00:30:12.000 Oh, I murdered a baby because I was in a bad mood.

00:30:15.000 Oh, okay.

00:30:16.000 So that's who's telling us how to live.

00:30:19.000 The people who murder.

00:30:23.000 And it gets worse.

00:30:24.000 Let's go back to the beginning here.

00:30:26.000 The quintessential example of this family sabotaging, psychotic, hate-filled cunt is Amanda Duarte. 1.00

00:30:36.000 She is a failed actress who moved to L.A., but she's fat and ugly and boring and can't act. 1.00

00:30:42.000 You should be one of those things in reverse if you ever want to be an actor.

00:30:47.000 You should be good at acting or be attractive and be not fat, but she's all those bad things at once. 0.72

00:30:54.000 So she became a writer, and she's a self-proclaimed feminazi who hates Trump, of course, because he represents the family and masculinity, and they hate that because that's what doesn't like them.

00:31:05.000 She had some guy dump her when she got fat and ugly. 1.00

00:31:09.000 So a lot of these women, they declare revenge on mankind and the family. 1.00

00:31:12.000 Murdering babies is a great way to get revenge on the family, but also bragging about it.

00:31:17.000 So check out this tweet, 1-7.

00:31:20.000 She deeply regrets this one, and it's actually becoming old news now.

00:31:25.000 I do wonder how these white supremacist lawmakers would feel if their little white daughters were raped and impregnated by black men. 0.99

00:31:31.000 Now, she apologized for that, and she admits it's racist.

00:31:37.000 It's not actually racist.

00:31:39.000 It's incredibly offensive, but it's offensive because you're wishing for rape on someone that you disagree with politically.

00:31:48.000 Not just them, their children.

00:31:50.000 But it's not racist.

00:31:51.000 She's saying that she's assuming that we're racist and our daughter is being raped by a black man is our worst nightmare.

00:31:57.000 No, our daughter's being raped by a man is our worst nightmare, you stupid bitch. 1.00

00:32:03.000 But it's not racist to assume that we're racist.

00:32:05.000 It's just stupid.

00:32:06.000 But anyway, there she is.

00:32:08.000 So much vitriol, so much hatred to the right that she wants our daughters to be raped. 1.00

00:32:15.000 Forget the race part.

00:32:16.000 That's not even interesting.

00:32:17.000 That's just her misunderstanding our political beliefs. 1.00

00:32:21.000 I don't want any liberals' kids.

00:32:24.000 I don't want anyone to be raped.

00:32:27.000 But it gets worse.

00:32:28.000 This isn't the first time she's fucked up back in 2018, was it?

00:32:34.000 2016.

00:32:35.000 I almost want to get pregnant with Trump's baby and let it get to full term just so I can rip it halfway out and cut its fucking head off. 1.00

00:32:45.000 Like, they're at Norwegian death metal levels of evil. 0.99

00:32:51.000 And here she is apologizing, 19.

00:32:57.000 What has she got to say for herself?

00:33:01.000 I said something insanely awful and stupid on Twitter last night.

00:33:04.000 The intent does not matter, so I will not attempt to defend or explain it.

00:33:07.000 It was racist.

00:33:09.000 No, it wasn't.

00:33:10.000 It's not racist to call me racist.

00:33:14.000 To wish rape upon our children is evil and bizarre, but it's not racist.

00:33:20.000 It was racist and has had a racist impact.

00:33:22.000 I am terribly sorry to anyone and everyone who read it and who were hurt by it.

00:33:26.000 And then, of course, she is caught red-handed not accepting someone else's apology.

00:33:31.000 Nice try, you rotted onion of a person.

00:33:33.000 Your sickening tweet has gone viral.

00:33:35.000 Let's see if your God can save your job.

00:33:37.000 Like, can you smell the hate?

00:33:41.000 So much anger from these fucking shit chests.

00:33:45.000 And it's ironic because it's the feminism and the sort of attitude to casual sex that got her in that position in the first place. 0.64

00:33:54.000 So her own culture is what destroyed her life. 0.81

00:33:58.000 I keep telling, and that's the irony of it all.

00:34:00.000 I say, ladies, don't come to New York to meet a man. 0.99

00:34:03.000 It's an elephant's graveyard for ovaries. 1.00

00:34:05.000 You will become a colostomy bag for some strangers.

00:34:08.000 Come.

00:34:09.000 They're like, no, I saw sex in the city.

00:34:11.000 I'm going to go there, have a career, then meet a hot guy when I'm 40, and then have four kids in the Hamptons.

00:34:17.000 No, you're not.

00:34:19.000 No, you're not.

00:34:20.000 So then they get mad.

00:34:28.000 And then finally, this is ancient Chinese secret by now, but we got to put it on the paper of record.

00:34:34.000 A big part of this show is it's a time capsule.

00:34:36.000 And I want to be able to go back and say, just like the reruns we show on Saturdays now, show you what the climate was like in the spring of 2022.

00:34:46.000 It was fucking nuts.

00:34:47.000 Abortion was a big deal. 1.00

00:34:48.000 And this dude climbed 61 floors with nothing.

00:34:54.000 Maison des Champs, a pro-life activist, climbed the 61 tower, tower 61 floors Tuesday morning at 9.30 a.m.

00:35:03.000 I would say that's bad because you could fall and kill someone.

00:35:08.000 I don't really care about you.

00:35:10.000 Yeah, not you, but someone.

00:35:11.000 Well, as far as the legality of it, you should have the right to do something insane.

00:35:16.000 That's true.

00:35:16.000 I mean, you can climb a mountain.

00:35:18.000 Right?

00:35:24.000 My balls are taking.

00:35:27.000 He's so move.

00:35:29.000 We don't know what his plan is.

00:35:31.000 Like to help out, share this around.

00:35:34.000 Go to Pro-Life Spots.

00:35:35.000 Wait, stop for a second, Ryan.

00:35:37.000 Do you have...

00:35:38.000 I'm preparing myself to forgive you.

00:35:42.000 Now, if I didn't, would you prepare yourself to forgive me?

00:35:46.000 Preparing myself to forgive you.

00:35:52.000 Can you send me that?

00:35:53.000 It's perfect to text people because as a drunk, I say things to people like, go fuck yourself.

00:35:57.000 I'll never speak to you again.

00:35:58.000 And then I regret it.

00:35:59.000 Or sometimes I joke and I say, you're dead to me, but I'm just kidding.

00:36:03.000 And then I'm not sure if they took me seriously.

00:36:05.000 So that's the perfect thing to send.

00:36:07.000 It is sent.

00:36:10.000 So yeah, this guy climbed that.

00:36:12.000 Let me ask you another question that's totally off topic.

00:36:14.000 When you're at the edge of a building and you're looking down, do your testicles do anything?

00:36:17.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:36:18.000 Yeah, I feel that the balls.

00:36:19.000 They contract.

00:36:20.000 You know what's weird?

00:36:22.000 When we were in Costa Rica on a rope bridge, I asked my sons if they have that.

00:36:26.000 One of them does.

00:36:28.000 The youngest does.

00:36:29.000 His big brother, no, nothing happens to my balls.

00:36:31.000 What the fuck are you talking about?

00:36:32.000 Yeah, I don't like heights at all.

00:36:34.000 And we would go out with Hodge all the time and hit balls off this cliff, like golf balls off this cliff.

00:36:39.000 And he would like lean over and like, guys, I'm about to fall.

00:36:42.000 And it's like, why do you...

00:36:44.000 Like, that really does some stuff to your insides.

00:36:46.000 You're like, fuck.

00:36:47.000 And then I went skydiving and I'm looking out of a plane like 17,000 feet and I felt nothing.

00:36:53.000 So it's weird.

00:36:54.000 Like, huh?

00:36:54.000 You hit a certain threshold and you're like, I'm dead.

00:36:57.000 So it doesn't matter.

00:36:58.000 Well, you didn't go skydiving.

00:37:00.000 I was strapped to a massive.

00:37:01.000 The skydiver wore you as a fanny pack.

00:37:03.000 I don't like the way that's framed.

00:37:06.000 When I was a fanny pack on a plane tied to some man's chest.

00:37:12.000 I'm preparing myself to forgive you.

00:37:15.000 And also, if I go to crazyshit.com and I look up that 21 people having a worse day than you, don't look at the brutal shit.

00:37:23.000 As the motorcyclist hits the truck and does like a quadruple backflip, forward flip, my balls like go zing.

00:37:30.000 It's like a very subtle like electrical charge.

00:37:33.000 Yeah, electrical.

00:37:35.000 Zoom.

00:37:39.000 This bitch is apparently this. 1.00

00:37:42.000 That's not a worse day than me.

00:37:44.000 You ever have that five seconds?

00:37:45.000 That's stupid.

00:37:46.000 That five seconds of your day where you try, like you do something lazy, like you're carrying a bunch of shit, and you're like, I'll carry this extra shit because I don't want to make two trips.

00:37:54.000 And then everything just falls to shit.

00:37:56.000 You fall, the shit falls, you break a shelf somehow.

00:37:59.000 Uh-huh.

00:38:00.000 Just by being lazy and not wanting to go the extra step.

00:38:03.000 Are you explaining to us the lazy man's burden colloquialism?

00:38:07.000 Yes.

00:38:07.000 Thank you for that.

00:38:09.000 On the roof of a building.

00:38:11.000 This is some really soft core.

00:38:13.000 I don't want to go to the crazy shit one because there's blood often, isn't there?

00:38:16.000 Why are you showing us this stupid YouTuber bitch that's for eight-year-olds? 1.00

00:38:19.000 Wait.

00:38:21.000 Why are you doing that?

00:38:22.000 That shouldn't be on your radar.

00:38:23.000 My nine-year-old watches her.

00:38:25.000 That's the first thing I looked up.

00:38:26.000 It was just like 21 people having a worse day than you.

00:38:28.000 No, go to crazy shit.com, you fucking idiot.

00:38:31.000 Is there going to be blood, though?

00:38:33.000 Oh, shut up. 0.99

00:38:36.000 What a moron.

00:38:38.000 He brings up...

00:38:39.000 Oh, there's balls everywhere?

00:38:40.000 He brings up some fucking little kid site.

00:38:43.000 Just click on any one of those 21 things, people having a worse day than you on crazyshit.com.

00:38:50.000 I don't know if I can watch it anymore.

00:38:52.000 I'm starting to feel like it.

00:38:53.000 Oh, I just saw this one.

00:38:54.000 She broke her stupid tooth. 0.88

00:38:56.000 Yeah, so that does nothing to my balls.

00:38:58.000 My balls feel fine.

00:38:59.000 My balls are fine.

00:39:02.000 My balls are great.

00:39:04.000 Yeah.

00:39:05.000 My balls are pretty good.

00:39:06.000 This is where my balls are. 0.93

00:39:07.000 My balls are don't go off the edge.

00:39:12.000 That could not have gone worse.

00:39:16.000 Those don't bother me.

00:39:17.000 It's these ones, these traffic things.

00:39:30.000 How many times have people taken a container of gas and poured it on something and then the gas, the fire crawled up?

00:39:36.000 Oh, no, no, no.

00:39:39.000 See, now my balls are alive.

00:39:42.000 It's not a good feeling.

00:39:44.000 What if women have that? 1.00

00:39:45.000 Do their tits hurt? 1.00

00:39:47.000 Don't do it.

00:39:49.000 Ah, that is a ball.

00:39:52.000 Oh, my God.

00:39:53.000 That just made my back break.

00:39:58.000 Oh, you got to pick up all that shit.

00:40:00.000 Yeah, that's the biggest problem is your cauliflower fell.

00:40:04.000 Not the fact that you're dead.

00:40:05.000 Ouchie.

00:40:06.000 Oh, my God.

00:40:07.000 That soul and sent it to heaven.

00:40:09.000 You know that feeling?

00:40:10.000 You ever been in an imminent crash on a not car?

00:40:13.000 Like a motor, you know, a motorbike or something?

00:40:15.000 Yeah.

00:40:16.000 That feeling does hit your balls.

00:40:18.000 And I'm thinking maybe that's your reproductive. 1.00

00:40:20.000 You know when you say when you're hungover, you just want to come so that way your body reproduces before it passes away?

00:40:26.000 It could be that your balls are making their final statement.

00:40:29.000 The answer is very clear.

00:40:31.000 It's not even worth mentioning, but okay, for the other people with ADIQs.

00:40:34.000 Oh, that was a cool trick.

00:40:37.000 Your balls are obviously contracting because your nature is trying to protect your testicles. 1.00

00:40:44.000 Right, right.

00:40:44.000 So they're getting closer to the body.

00:40:47.000 That was a good one.

00:40:52.000 That's a little genius.

00:40:54.000 Look, it's concussed.

00:41:00.000 Okay, let's go.

00:41:01.000 We got to show the climber guy.

00:41:03.000 Back to what started our balls up.

00:41:16.000 It's all going good.

00:41:17.000 I just wish I had a little water.

00:41:19.000 I can see why a long little bear brings water with him.

00:41:24.000 But I just got to troop it out.

00:41:26.000 Everything's going good though.

00:41:28.000 I got these big fat rests right here.

00:41:31.000 I'm just melting.

00:41:32.000 It's not like that hard.

00:41:34.000 It's maybe like 5'7.

00:41:36.000 But it's like physical mantling up over these fins right here.

00:41:40.000 Just wish I had water, but it's all good.

00:41:43.000 So he just doesn't have a fear glance.

00:41:45.000 Like he's missing something.

00:41:48.000 Oh.

00:41:50.000 Don't do that.

00:41:52.000 I don't know if this hasn't occurred to any of them, but don't climb.

00:41:56.000 Don't free climb.

00:41:57.000 Stop that.

00:41:59.000 Stop that.

00:42:01.000 That was like Kale Hartman.

00:42:03.000 Every time he saw construction going on in the city, he would look up and go, hey, hey!

00:42:08.000 And the guys would look down.

00:42:10.000 He goes, get down from there.

00:42:11.000 What the hell are you doing?

00:42:12.000 Get down right now.

00:42:14.000 It's really dangerous.

00:42:16.000 Down.

00:42:18.000 Now.

00:42:18.000 Yeah.

00:42:19.000 Now.

00:42:20.000 That's dangerous.

00:42:20.000 Hey, hey, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:42:23.000 What do you think you're doing?

00:42:26.000 Yes, yes, he does that.

00:42:27.000 All right, let's jump to some racism.

00:42:29.000 Oh, hell yeah.

00:42:30.000 That's always fun.

00:42:31.000 Raskism. 0.69

00:42:34.000 Fuck.

00:42:35.000 I'm a black female.

00:42:37.000 What other different...

00:42:39.000 What else could I have done to piss you off?

00:42:41.000 Black woman? 1.00

00:42:43.000 This is really interesting.

00:42:56.000 Has BTHO beat the hell out?

00:42:58.000 Back the hell off, I thought?

00:43:00.000 Maybe I'm wrong.

00:43:01.000 So I was trying to find this clip on Wednesday with Compound Censored.

00:43:05.000 It's impossible to Google, though, but I managed to find it by checking the original source, which is Reddit Cringe.

00:43:13.000 Beat the hell out of it.

00:43:14.000 Oh, I got you.

00:43:15.000 You're wrong.

00:43:16.000 You're right.

00:43:19.000 But this is blackting, in a nutshell. 0.93

00:43:22.000 I think a lot of African Americans watch too much television and have watched too much television.

00:43:29.000 So when they correspond to people and it's important, they can slip into TV mode.

00:43:34.000 And that's what happened here.

00:43:37.000 No, no, no, Shanti.

00:43:38.000 It's a nerve sweetheart.

00:43:39.000 Stop getting changed in my mind.

00:43:41.000 Simon, you don't understand.

00:43:42.000 I do.

00:43:43.000 You don't.

00:43:44.000 I do.

00:43:44.000 You don't.

00:43:45.000 I have fought so hard for this.

00:43:48.000 What?

00:43:48.000 No, Shanti.

00:43:49.000 You're saying a song.

00:43:50.000 With the greatest respect, you've taken already two spots in Hollywood.

00:43:54.000 It didn't work out then.

00:43:56.000 But how was my intonation?

00:43:57.000 How was my timing?

00:43:58.000 How was my pitch?

00:43:59.000 Was anything wrong?

00:44:01.000 Okay.

00:44:01.000 The problem was you didn't get your voice together.

00:44:04.000 You never said there was a problem with my voice.

00:44:07.000 What do you need to hear from me?

00:44:09.000 It seems the auditions here in New York have taken a melodramatic turn.

00:44:13.000 Prepare yourself, for these are the days of our idols.

00:44:18.000 I don't know how to say this, but I feel it.

00:44:20.000 Ryan, you're doing the same job.

00:44:23.000 I cut it out.

00:44:28.000 This is my goal in life, to do this to my dad and record it.

00:44:32.000 And I know that you know what it's like to struggle with your weight and to struggle with your music.

00:44:37.000 What, bitch? 1.00

00:44:38.000 And I have waited.

00:44:39.000 It's true, I love that.

00:44:40.000 Worked harder than anybody.

00:44:44.000 I have worked retarded than anybody. 0.81

00:44:47.000 Like, we were with you right until that part.

00:44:50.000 I have worked like a retard at this. 1.00

00:44:55.000 It's retarded how hard I've worked.

00:44:57.000 What is that?

00:44:59.000 And every time I got more and more encouragement from you, and I've taken it, and I've internalized it, and I have fought harder than this.

00:45:08.000 I never thought I was even capable of fighting.

00:45:11.000 I understand your position.

00:45:14.000 I really, in the depths of my soul, believe that you don't have this right.

00:45:21.000 In the depths of my soul, I know.

00:45:24.000 If America got a chance, it's the only thing you haven't given me.

00:45:27.000 It's the chance for America to view me.

00:45:29.000 That's the only thing.

00:45:30.000 And if America's told me, people love me.

00:45:32.000 Wait, you've been on three different times?

00:45:35.000 Yes.

00:45:36.000 America saw you.

00:45:39.000 That's the problem.

00:45:43.000 It ain't easy.

00:45:44.000 It ain't me.

00:45:46.000 It ain't saying.

00:45:48.000 It ain't me.

00:45:49.000 Okay, you're in an entertainment line.

00:45:50.000 Walk away.

00:45:53.000 I'm showing you once you're sorry.

00:45:54.000 It's the nut.

00:45:59.000 Fuck you.

00:46:01.000 It was a pleasure to meet you.

00:46:05.000 Fuck you.

00:46:07.000 I hate you.

00:46:11.000 And before I leave this room.

00:46:13.000 Yes?

00:46:15.000 Well.

00:46:16.000 We'll wait.

00:46:18.000 I can do the change I want.

00:46:20.000 Wait, you gotta go back.

00:46:22.000 Before I leave this room, is there anything I can do to change your mind?

00:46:25.000 Yeah, sing a bit and then we'll put you back in. 0.85

00:46:28.000 If you can sing, maybe we'll think.

00:46:32.000 You know what they should have done?

00:46:33.000 They should have went do a backflip.

00:46:35.000 Ashanti, that was incredible.

00:46:38.000 And never before in the history of the show have we been persuaded by a speech like that to give you a second go.

00:46:47.000 You're going to Hollywood again.

00:46:49.000 And then she goes, oh my God, just kidding.

00:46:51.000 Get the fuck out of here.

00:46:54.000 I would love that.

00:46:55.000 What do you think?

00:46:56.000 We're going to change our minds?

00:46:57.000 I told you I'm not changing my mind.

00:46:59.000 Go.

00:47:01.000 Hit the beat.

00:47:02.000 You're out of here.

00:47:02.000 I thought that was a great dishonor to her and to her family.

00:47:08.000 This is a good one.

00:47:10.000 If there is anything.

00:47:12.000 Wait, go back a little more.

00:47:13.000 She goes, before I go.

00:47:16.000 I still think you're making a mistake.

00:47:18.000 Okay, then leave.

00:47:21.000 Before I leave this room.

00:47:26.000 If there is anything...

00:47:28.000 I can do the change.

00:47:31.000 It didn't work.

00:47:32.000 You weren't good enough today.

00:47:33.000 Get over it.

00:47:34.000 It's enough.

00:47:35.000 Okay, sorry.

00:47:38.000 Thank you.

00:47:39.000 I'm out of here.

00:47:40.000 Bye.

00:47:43.000 You look ridiculous.

00:47:44.000 Bye.

00:47:45.000 Bye, everybody.

00:47:49.000 Bye-bye.

00:47:50.000 So I'm feeling upset.

00:47:55.000 Okay, so that brings us to, and thank you, baby monsters, for all your fantastic submissions.

00:48:00.000 You guys introduced me to that opening song.

00:48:03.000 And you introduced me to this.

00:48:05.000 I think we covered it a long time ago, but I hadn't checked in on it.

00:48:08.000 The Black Lady Sketch Show is so fucking bad. 1.00

00:48:16.000 Let's check out.

00:48:17.000 Let's make it a green screen because it has to be analyzed closely.

00:48:30.000 Come on, everybody.

00:48:34.000 All right, y'all.

00:48:35.000 This racist power structure, this white supremacist system, it puts white males up on a pedestal and pretends they're funny, like John Belushi and Louis C.K., and they're not funny.

00:48:47.000 Black women are funnier, or at least as funny. 1.00

00:48:51.000 So let's use affirmative action to get them a platform.

00:48:54.000 And then we can see that they'll be equally represented and it'll be super funny.

00:48:59.000 No, that doesn't work.

00:49:01.000 Why doesn't it work?

00:49:02.000 Because black women aren't funny? 1.00

00:49:03.000 No, I never said that.

00:49:05.000 Affirmative action doesn't belong in anything.

00:49:09.000 And especially rare talents like comedy.

00:49:13.000 It's like skateboarding.

00:49:14.000 Maybe 1% of the population can pull it off.

00:49:17.000 So when you insist that 30% of skateboarders are albinos, you're going to have shitty skateboarders.

00:49:25.000 Now, before we show this clip, and it fucking is way shittier than you can ever imagine, I want you to show the other clip, Ryan, that I just sent you.

00:49:35.000 Now, this is hood comedy.

00:49:38.000 It's a black woman. 0.99

00:49:40.000 She's not been affirmative actioned into this spot, and it's fairly amusing, right? 0.99

00:49:44.000 So play this, and you can see, I just want to show this first so you don't think I'm saying black women can't do humor.

00:49:52.000 This isn't fantastic, but it's not bad.

00:49:57.000 I needed somebody that's down for me.

00:50:02.000 And he don't have to have money.

00:50:05.000 But I do prefer a nigga that would put down a sea. 1.00

00:50:10.000 But would pick up his drawers off the floor and would take out the trash when he sees that it's the right girl. 0.84

00:50:17.000 I'm not your mom.

00:50:18.000 I'm not your maid boy. 0.99

00:50:20.000 You're grown.

00:50:21.000 But I swear sometimes you act like you still in school.

00:50:25.000 And I. Hey, hey, hey, hey, don't be screaming at me.

00:50:28.000 Okay?

00:50:29.000 I'm going to put my drawers up and put the toilet seat down.

00:50:31.000 But you ain't got to be screaming at me like that.

00:50:32.000 I'm bae.

00:50:33.000 I'm not ready to take you to get some tacos.

00:50:35.000 Tacos.

00:50:36.000 You like tacos, right?

00:50:39.000 God damn.

00:50:39.000 Who be screaming at me?

00:50:40.000 Who are these tacos?

00:50:42.000 Okay, baby.

00:50:43.000 I'm forgive you on tacos.

00:50:44.000 Okay, so.

00:50:46.000 Taco.

00:50:46.000 That's hood comedy that's not part of affirmative action.

00:50:50.000 The overacting is still fucking brutal here.

00:50:53.000 And I chose that to say it doesn't all have to suck, right?

00:50:57.000 I'm not here to say black women aren't funny. 0.98

00:50:59.000 I'm sounding too apologetic, but you get my point.

00:51:01.000 All right, so here is what affirmative action can do to comedy.

00:51:05.000 First of all, we haven't even started.

00:51:08.000 Time magazine.

00:51:09.000 Like whoever wrote this thinks that people read Time Magazine, a dead magazine that probably has a circulation of like a thousand.

00:51:18.000 And then what's their opinion on time?

00:51:19.000 Time, your opinion on time should be that it's a radica, become a radically left-wing paper.

00:51:25.000 At one point had Hitler on the cover.

00:51:27.000 Used to be good.

00:51:29.000 And now it's a fucking joke.

00:51:31.000 So you could do something with that.

00:51:32.000 But for them, news is just like, ah, I don't get news.

00:51:35.000 It's all like crazy.

00:51:37.000 So they just write bad news or whatever as a joke.

00:51:43.000 So this is someone's opinion on news and that it's just too sensationalist, I guess.

00:51:49.000 Anyway, we haven't even started and we have a shitty joke out the gate.

00:51:56.000 You know me, right?

00:51:56.000 Your sister can win an arm wrestling match against Busta Rhymes.

00:52:01.000 She can do anything.

00:52:02.000 I really hope so, baby, because so the sister run an arm is Busta Rhymes known as Good at Arm Wrestling. 1.00

00:52:10.000 That's not a joke.

00:52:12.000 That's just a pile of words.

00:52:13.000 Yeah, that's almost like if you tried to program humor into AI, it would come up with that.

00:52:19.000 It's like absurd situation, commonly known figure in the community, sport, win.

00:52:26.000 Jamaisha's my only twin sister.

00:52:28.000 Mr. and Mrs. Matthews.

00:52:31.000 So Jamaisha's WBC was Marlowe.

00:52:34.000 Mommy.

00:52:35.000 So we gave her an IV of AB negative.

00:52:38.000 Mommy?

00:52:39.000 Nah, I'm positive.

00:52:40.000 I don't know what you mean.

00:52:41.000 Look, the only letters I care about is is my twin okay.

00:52:45.000 Yo.

00:52:46.000 Look at the dude.

00:52:47.000 Wait, go full screen on these.

00:52:50.000 Look at the dude in it.

00:52:51.000 It's like he just fucking smoked crack.

00:52:53.000 He is so pumped to act his fucking head off in this sketch.

00:52:59.000 Wife is stressing right now. 1.00

00:53:01.000 Okay, so what do you mean?

00:53:03.000 Well, at least she's not ZOA. 0.77

00:53:05.000 But with her ZOB, do she even have a Z and R?

00:53:09.000 Mm-hmm.

00:53:10.000 I don't know.

00:53:10.000 Nah.

00:53:12.000 Nah, we don't know what you mean.

00:53:14.000 What are you talking about at all?

00:53:15.000 Okay, when I get an EKG, I will give you an Ops ASAP.

00:53:20.000 Yeah.

00:53:21.000 Okay, good.

00:53:22.000 Doctor.

00:53:24.000 So that joke is just a big pile of acronyms.

00:53:27.000 Okay?

00:53:27.000 I mean, you might see that in a 1940s play at a local theater, but it was also half-assed too.

00:53:36.000 Like, why would a nurse say, at least she's not DOA, dead on arrival?

00:53:41.000 That's not plausible.

00:53:42.000 So anyway, this other woman shows up and she's going to also be confusing. 1.00

00:53:46.000 Look at this dude.

00:53:47.000 He's like in fight mode.

00:53:49.000 He's all like, yo, we about to fucking throw down.

00:53:53.000 Yo.

00:53:57.000 Purple suit is wild.

00:54:00.000 What is that?

00:54:01.000 Is that Kel from Keenan and Kel?

00:54:03.000 Oh, no.

00:54:04.000 What's that?

00:54:05.000 It's an old show on Nickelodeon, and I think that's him.

00:54:08.000 Well, they're acting like Nickelodeon.

00:54:10.000 This is little kids' shows act.

00:54:13.000 And look at her leaning back like this. 1.00

00:54:14.000 They fuck up the continuity, too.

00:54:16.000 So I assume the director is some affirmative action hire.

00:54:19.000 Like, this is racist.

00:54:21.000 I just need to know if my 20 is going to be okay.

00:54:23.000 I mean, she's the peppermint for my pickle. 0.99

00:54:26.000 So please just use words.

00:54:27.000 No more acronyms.

00:54:28.000 Okay, well, let me be perfectly clear.

00:54:30.000 The abnormal school erotics lack was removed during cardioplegia, avoiding thromboembolism or whatever.

00:54:34.000 The fuck?

00:54:36.000 I mean, you know, I ain't mean to be all like that.

00:54:38.000 You know what I mean?

00:54:39.000 Let me say a little bit more polite.

00:54:41.000 What the fuck?

00:54:43.000 Oh, okay.

00:54:43.000 Doctor, my twin and I have a really special twin connection.

00:54:47.000 My heart is her heart.

00:54:48.000 So whatever happens to her heart, it's going to happen to mine.

00:54:51.000 I need to know what to worry about.

00:54:53.000 That's not science.

00:54:54.000 But let me see.

00:54:55.000 Let me see.

00:54:56.000 Oh, okay.

00:54:56.000 Well, that's arrhythmia, atrial fibrillation, post-operative cognitive that we have no idea what the fuck doctors are saying when we're at the hospital.

00:55:06.000 This is racist.

00:55:08.000 So far, it's scientific people are confusing, and we are very dramatic when there's something going on.

00:55:17.000 This is a KKK sketch.

00:55:19.000 And how weird does this fucking bitch look? 1.00

00:55:21.000 What is with her eyes?

00:55:23.000 She's definitely a black dad, white mom. 1.00

00:55:26.000 Black dad wasn't around, and now she's capitalizing on her blackness, even though it has nothing to do with the way she grew up. 0.63

00:55:32.000 Like Thomas Moriello and Mariah Carey and Alicia Keys and Barack Obama, and the list goes on and on and on.

00:55:41.000 You know, amid her complications.

00:55:43.000 Yo, you ain't even making no sense.

00:55:45.000 Yo, you vagin right now. 1.00

00:55:47.000 I say you vagin. 0.95

00:55:49.000 I'm telling you.

00:55:55.000 Oh, baby, stop. 0.82

00:55:56.000 Oh, my God.

00:55:57.000 Just tell me this, my sister.

00:56:00.000 So you destroy everything on the counter, and the nurse just continues to do her work. 1.00

00:56:05.000 That's not a big deal.

00:56:08.000 Okay.

00:56:09.000 I guess it's become so common that no one gets mad when black people wreck shit. 1.00

00:56:12.000 Oh no.

00:56:14.000 Well, she's being monitored closely or whatever, but with the mortality rate or whatever, and then when you factor in comorbidities or whatever, just wrap that all together or whatever.

00:56:20.000 And if you talk about it, and then you live it by mercenaries or whatever.

00:56:22.000 Like, uh, you know what I mean?

00:56:24.000 Like, eh, whatever.

00:56:24.000 Is clean up?

00:56:30.000 Fake crying is never funny.

00:56:32.000 It's always so obviously fake that it's not amusing.

00:56:37.000 Look at them.

00:56:38.000 And by the way, why is he so freaked out?

00:56:40.000 Shouldn't this character be like the supportive boyfriend?

00:56:46.000 Jamaisha's gonna Jamaica because people are supposed to go to Jamaica. 1.00

00:56:49.000 Wait, go back.

00:56:49.000 You gotta hear that line.

00:56:51.000 It's so weird.

00:56:53.000 Doctor, I just need to know if Jamaisha's gonna Jamaica because people are supposed to go to Jamaica. 1.00

00:56:58.000 Stop.

00:56:59.000 Did you catch that, Ryan?

00:57:00.000 Yeah, it was hilarious.

00:57:01.000 I don't know if Jamaica, I guess her name is Jamaisha. 1.00

00:57:03.000 Is gonna Jamaica. 0.99

00:57:04.000 Is gonna Jamaica because we have plans to go to Jamaica.

00:57:06.000 It's funny because they sound the same.

00:57:09.000 This is AI.

00:57:10.000 This is written by a robot.

00:57:16.000 That's just my man.

00:57:16.000 He said 143.

00:57:17.000 Okay, is there anything on my sister on that pager?

00:57:20.000 No.

00:57:23.000 Stop.

00:57:23.000 Why would, first of all, doctors don't have pages anymore.

00:57:27.000 Secondly, if the girls dies, they're just going to page a doctor and go, Jameesha's dead.

00:57:37.000 Well, it seems your sister has to come.

00:57:45.000 Nah, nah, I wasn't going to say that.

00:57:47.000 I wasn't going to say that.

00:57:48.000 You thought I'm knocking.

00:57:49.000 No, no, I was going to say, um, look over there.

00:57:52.000 Oh, whatever.

00:58:02.000 He literally hasn't matured in his acting since this.

00:58:11.000 Is that him watching himself?

00:58:13.000 Yes.

00:58:15.000 Kel to Keenan.

00:58:16.000 Kel to Keenan.

00:58:18.000 Keenan.

00:58:19.000 Keenan, come in.

00:58:20.000 This is supposed to be a sad moment that actually...

00:58:23.000 This is like the last episode type show.

00:58:26.000 Come on, Kenan.

00:58:27.000 Keenan! 0.94

00:58:29.000 Is this the Keenan that's on SNL?

00:58:31.000 Is that the other guy?

00:58:32.000 So he did well.

00:58:33.000 And Kel not so much.

00:58:36.000 Wow.

00:58:36.000 So one of them has dominated SNL for the past 15 years.

00:58:40.000 Sad.

00:58:40.000 And the other does black lady sketch comedy.

00:58:45.000 Wow.

00:58:47.000 And he's touched by a scene.

00:58:48.000 Yeah, he looks.

00:58:49.000 Wow, I really hit it out of the park.

00:58:51.000 Wait, go back?

00:58:52.000 Oh, yeah.

00:58:53.000 That's better than this video.

00:58:55.000 Wow, I nailed it.

00:59:00.000 Who's cutting onions? 0.98

00:59:02.000 Who is cutting onions?

00:59:05.000 I like the music that's input on top of that.

00:59:07.000 Made it even more dramatic.

00:59:10.000 Goodness.

00:59:12.000 What a fucking absolute weirdo.

00:59:15.000 Wait a minute.

00:59:16.000 Now I'm going from he just sucks at his job to thinking like he's a mental patient.

00:59:21.000 I think he's fucked in the head.

00:59:23.000 He's not doing great.

00:59:24.000 No, I think he has mental problems.

00:59:26.000 Like he acts like someone who has had a head injury.

00:59:29.000 Is this a make-a-wish show for him?

00:59:32.000 Spines and bones, blood and infidelity.

00:59:36.000 Wait, is that it?

00:59:38.000 It's trace anatomy.

00:59:41.000 I guess there's part of it.

00:59:43.000 Wow.

00:59:44.000 I don't have time to put the music with the graphic, but you get it.

00:59:47.000 Yeah, that's my pitch for my new medical drama, Trace Anatomy.

00:59:50.000 Right.

00:59:50.000 Wait, we're in a new thing.

00:59:52.000 So that's the end of that sketch.

00:59:53.000 We don't do this sketch, do there was one funny joke.

00:59:56.000 I guess we missed it.

00:59:57.000 But she goes, is my twin sister?

01:00:00.000 It's her twin sister.

01:00:01.000 And she goes, is my twin dead?

01:00:03.000 Maybe you could find that?

01:00:05.000 Because it's like a pretty funny joke.

01:00:07.000 Am I still a twin?

01:00:09.000 Yeah, there it is.

01:00:09.000 You just passed it.

01:00:13.000 My sister alive or not?

01:00:14.000 Am I still a twin?

01:00:16.000 Am I still a twin?

01:00:17.000 I don't know.

01:00:17.000 Let me look at you.

01:00:19.000 I don't know.

01:00:20.000 Good.

01:00:21.000 Watch his name.

01:00:22.000 That was the only not horrible joke, a funny concept of if your twin dies, you're not a twin anymore.

01:00:27.000 You could have fleshed that out.

01:00:28.000 That could have been the whole fucking bit.

01:00:30.000 But the bit is that she says whatever too much and they run away.

01:00:35.000 I think this is great news.

01:00:36.000 It's great news when you let affirmative action ruin something. 0.96

01:00:40.000 I hope basketball is next.

01:00:41.000 I hope we start having short, fat guys on the court because it accidentally shows the country why communism is evil, why the free market makes us all better, why meritocracy is a plus.

01:00:55.000 Handouts don't work.

01:00:57.000 Freebies don't work.

01:00:58.000 Don't give someone a sketch comedy show based on their gender and their race because it will suck.

01:01:13.000 But the sun comes up.

01:01:20.000 I feel bad for that guy now.

01:01:22.000 Yeah, me too.

01:01:23.000 I feel like I might have to do a deep dive on him.

01:01:26.000 Yeah, when I was looking him up, it said exposed, Kel Mitchell, and then exposed.

01:01:32.000 I don't know what he was exposed to, but something kept him out of Hollywood.

01:01:36.000 Definitely not his acting.

01:01:42.000 Maybe he's overacting like that because he sexually assaulted someone or something, and he's desperately trying to maintain some sort of career.

01:01:49.000 Oh, he became a pastor.

01:01:51.000 That's cool.

01:01:51.000 And he was celibate for three years, which in black years is 13 years.

01:01:57.000 13 years.

01:02:00.000 What's this?

01:02:01.000 Goodburger?

01:02:04.000 Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger.

01:02:07.000 Can I take your order?

01:02:09.000 Is that him?

01:02:09.000 Oh, that's the other guy.

01:02:10.000 Man?

01:02:12.000 Yeah, he was like kind of a retard in this. 1.00

01:02:26.000 I mean, it was meant for kids, but he has not changed since the...

01:02:30.000 Yeah, that's where he...

01:02:31.000 But Keenan Wayans figured out how to be normal.

01:02:35.000 And you know what's crazy?

01:02:36.000 You know how as a kid, you're influenced by comedy that you see and you wind up absorbing a lot?

01:02:41.000 Like I was a little Jim Carrey as a kid or something.

01:02:47.000 Like, I don't know what that's from specifically, but when he gets megy, he's like, ah! 1.00

01:02:53.000 And starts kicking the air and stuff.

01:02:55.000 Is that Chris?

01:02:56.000 That's like Chris Tucker did that, right?

01:02:58.000 Or is there somebody in Living Color or something that...

01:03:03.000 I feel really bad about for him.

01:03:05.000 Me too.

01:03:07.000 Hashtag.

01:03:07.000 That's enough racism.

01:03:08.000 Let's jump to my pet Biden. 0.97

01:03:13.000 Our pet Biden.

01:03:14.000 Our pet Biden.

01:03:18.000 Biden.

01:03:22.000 Biden.

01:03:25.000 President.

01:03:27.000 Sleepy.

01:03:28.000 But a friendly monster too.

01:03:30.000 My pet.

01:03:31.000 Biden.

01:03:32.000 Wait, what?

01:03:32.000 That doesn't rhyme.

01:03:37.000 So Dinesh D'Souza has a new movie out, and it's all about the election and how it was stolen.

01:03:44.000 I got to say, I was even starting to doubt myself and going, well, maybe they did get 80 million people.

01:03:51.000 Because lefties would go, give me the evidence.

01:03:54.000 There's been no evidence.

01:03:55.000 And I should have at hand, like Georgia had this, and there was this flip at 3 in the morning and the hockey bag full of votes.

01:04:01.000 And I mean, I guess I do have some.

01:04:03.000 But I should have a bunch of slam dunk smoking guns at my disposal. 0.94

01:04:07.000 And by attrition and the lack of smoking guns, they've sort of worn me down.

01:04:12.000 And now I'm like, yeah, I don't know.

01:04:14.000 Maybe I could go either way.

01:04:17.000 Come to Nash TaSouza to save the day and launch this documentary called 2,000 Mules that shows people harvesting votes.

01:04:28.000 Now, jump to 3.5 for a second here.

01:04:35.000 The left is going, he didn't do anything illegal.

01:04:39.000 The writer of this article doesn't know the difference between vote harvesting, which is legal in some states, and paid ballot trafficking, which is illegal in all 50 states.

01:04:50.000 So just like with the Dancing Grannies, they pushed this fake narrative that it was a police chase and he just turned right and hit some grannies and it's not a story, which was a lie. 0.81

01:05:00.000 They're focusing on this to discredit Dinesh.

01:05:04.000 And they're saying, no, no, no, no, they were just picking up some votes.

01:05:07.000 No.

01:05:08.000 You were not accruing votes and delivering them.

01:05:10.000 You were paid ballot harvesting.

01:05:13.000 That is illegal, which means the election is invalid.

01:05:17.000 Now, maybe pull up.

01:05:18.000 Is there a trailer for 2,000 mules?

01:05:21.000 Because they use cell phone tracking to follow these dudes around and catch them. 0.85

01:05:28.000 Stealing votes.

01:05:31.000 Anyway, while you dig that up, oh, you got it already?

01:05:34.000 The 2020 election was the most secure in U.S. history.

01:05:42.000 There has been no evidence of widespread voter fraud.

01:05:47.000 He lost a fair and secure election.

01:05:51.000 The most secure election in American history.

01:05:55.000 Really?

01:05:57.000 All those of you who volunteered and worked the polls, you deserve a special thanks from the entire nation.

01:06:15.000 They get that.

01:06:18.000 One mule made 53 trips to 20 drop boxes.

01:06:24.000 He's not alone.

01:06:26.000 We track 2,000 mules making multiple ballot drops.

01:06:37.000 Leaving no fingerprints.

01:06:43.000 Snapping photos to get paid.

01:06:47.000 A coordinated ring of illegal vote harvesting in all the key states where the election was decided.

01:06:54.000 They delivered us a clear victory!

01:07:01.000 Game over.

01:07:06.000 It's a good time for blackting phases now. 1.00

01:07:13.000 So anyway, everyone went to Mar-a-Lago for the doohickey, the launch, and Trump was there.

01:07:21.000 Everyone I know was there.

01:07:23.000 And a friend of mine recorded part of his speech, which is top quality comedy.

01:07:29.000 I can't believe I'm saying this for the first time.

01:07:32.000 Donald Trump has the sprinkles.

01:07:34.000 Oh, my God, does he?

01:07:36.000 Just beep, boop.

01:07:37.000 He was touring.

01:07:38.000 Like when he did his rallies, it was just on the road.

01:07:40.000 He's like, I'm going to be at the Washington Stadium.

01:07:44.000 It's a great crowd.

01:07:45.000 He really is just working out bits.

01:07:47.000 He tried to bid out because I watch every single one of them.

01:07:50.000 And then he kind of dropped it.

01:07:51.000 He's like, that didn't really hit.

01:07:53.000 So I got to drop it.

01:07:58.000 He's a road dog.

01:08:02.000 Him and Tim Dylan have about the same comedy career.

01:08:06.000 They're rivals.

01:08:07.000 Tim Dylan is your peer.

01:08:10.000 I'm not afraid to talk about him now.

01:08:12.000 Trans.

01:08:13.000 I'm talking about trans.

01:08:18.000 And you saw the woman the other day.

01:08:19.000 You saw that not so long ago.

01:08:21.000 She was a great women's swimmer. 1.00

01:08:25.000 She was going for the record.

01:08:27.000 She was hoping to beat it by one eighth of a second. 0.97

01:08:30.000 The record stood for approximately 11 years.

01:08:35.000 A magnificent athlete.

01:08:36.000 She worked so hard and she was going to beat it.

01:08:40.000 But then this dude shows up right alongside her.

01:08:47.000 This dude shows up right alongside her.

01:08:50.000 I've never heard him say dude.

01:08:52.000 It's like dropping an F-bomb.

01:08:53.000 That was mega cool.

01:08:59.000 And he was only an average male swimmer.

01:09:04.000 On the male team, he wasn't a very good swimmer.

01:09:07.000 He was just right in the middle of the pack they said, with a white mouth.

01:09:10.000 So she was trying to beat him by an eighth of a second. 0.98

01:09:13.000 But he did a little better than that.

01:09:15.000 He beat him by 38 seconds.

01:09:18.000 And she was injured during that you give her a swimmer. 0.97

01:09:22.000 He went by her so fast that she suffered a massive windy burn.

01:09:29.000 And then the better one was the weightlifting.

01:09:31.000 They had a certain record of like 206 pounds.

01:09:36.000 They take the barbells and they end it like an eighth of an ounce each.

01:09:42.000 She's going to break it. 0.98

01:09:43.000 She's going to break it. 0.98

01:09:45.000 And she gets up and she just got Sebastian Maniska level act outs now.

01:09:56.000 He's been training with that mimer guy. 1.00

01:10:00.000 This guy comes up.

01:10:02.000 Bingo Bongo.

01:10:05.000 They said, did you ever lift before?

01:10:06.000 No, it hasn't.

01:10:11.000 It's crazy.

01:10:13.000 So we have to stop there.

01:10:15.000 But what we really have.

01:10:17.000 Bingo Bongo.

01:10:19.000 That's a drop.

01:10:21.000 Oh, yeah, we could do it.

01:10:21.000 Bingo Bongo is a new drop.

01:10:23.000 That's him lifting the weights.

01:10:25.000 Bingo Bongo.

01:10:26.000 You ever see that compilation of him with saying bingo or bing bong?

01:10:30.000 Bing bong.

01:10:31.000 No, that's a big New York street thing.

01:10:34.000 Things that go bing with the president.

01:10:35.000 Bing, bing.

01:10:37.000 I love it.

01:10:38.000 I love it.

01:10:39.000 I'm sitting there tweeting.

01:10:40.000 Bing, bing, bing.

01:10:41.000 You press a button.

01:10:42.000 Bing, bing.

01:10:42.000 They all hand you checks.

01:10:43.000 Bing, bing, bing, bing.

01:10:45.000 We had our beautiful Marine standing there.

01:10:46.000 Bing, bing, bing, bing.

01:10:47.000 You know the old days, bing, bong. 0.96

01:10:49.000 You know, with the map?

01:10:50.000 Bing, bing, bing.

01:10:51.000 Little mouth on him.

01:10:52.000 Bing, bing, bing.

01:10:53.000 Bing, bong.

01:10:54.000 Fuck your life.

01:10:55.000 Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.

01:10:56.000 Bing, bing, bing.

01:10:57.000 They're cleaning up.

01:10:58.000 Fix it up.

01:10:59.000 Bing, bing, bing.

01:10:59.000 14-point plan.

01:11:00.000 Bing, bing, bing.

01:11:01.000 Anthony Wiener.

01:11:02.000 You know the.

01:11:03.000 You'll never guess who did this.

01:11:05.000 Vice.

01:11:06.000 Yes.

01:11:06.000 Yeah, I guess that when I saw their logo in the top.

01:11:08.000 Oh, I see.

01:11:09.000 That's a good guess.

01:11:10.000 Yeah, thanks.

01:11:12.000 It's so funny.

01:11:13.000 It's a New York thing because the subways, when they go to make sure no one gets caught in the doors, it goes bing bong.

01:11:18.000 And now it's become New York slang for like, that's the end.

01:11:22.000 Like, we're done.

01:11:22.000 I'm never fucking her again.

01:11:24.000 Bing bong.

01:11:31.000 All right, so that's enough of that.

01:11:32.000 We got 2,000 meals done.

01:11:34.000 This is pretty rare.

01:11:36.000 We have a special guest in My Pet Biden.

01:11:40.000 Justin Trudeau is doing his first cameo appearance on My Pet Biden.

01:11:46.000 This is My Pet Justin doing Bidenism.

01:11:50.000 We're really impressed.

01:11:53.000 He obviously looks up to the North, I mean the South, and this is him.

01:11:58.000 This could easily be Joe Biden.

01:12:00.000 And by the way, note after he speaks his bizarre Biden-ism, he almost bumps into the door.

01:12:06.000 And stop.

01:12:07.000 This all comes by a recent controversy because he said faggot.

01:12:12.000 Referring to himself?

01:12:13.000 He's the biggest faggot in the world. 1.00

01:12:15.000 But he was being questioned about something.

01:12:17.000 He said, I don't care what these faggots think. 1.00

01:12:19.000 I think if you are one, you could say it.

01:12:22.000 And yeah, it's like the N-word.

01:12:25.000 The conservatives in the House demanded he apologize, and they demanded it go on record.

01:12:29.000 So it's on record somewhere that Justin said faggot.

01:12:33.000 I don't give a fuck if someone swears, but I enjoy seeing these people hoisted on their own retard. 1.00

01:12:44.000 What is the nature of your thoughts, gentlemen, when you say you move your lips in a particular way?

01:12:48.000 Okay, wow.

01:12:52.000 This is like a Jetson Flintstones crossover.

01:12:55.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:12:55.000 Amazing.

01:12:57.000 Amazing.

01:12:58.000 I got to watch it again.

01:12:59.000 I might have to watch it 30 more times.

01:13:04.000 What is the nature of your thoughts, gentlemen, when you say you move your lips in a particular way?

01:13:11.000 You hear the hosers? 1.00

01:13:12.000 Okay.

01:13:14.000 Whoa.

01:13:18.000 What is the nature of your thoughts, gentlemen, when you say you move your lips in a particular way?

01:13:24.000 You know what?

01:13:25.000 That might be a drop, too.

01:13:26.000 You know how they react?

01:13:27.000 Like when a kid says a bad word or when a kid's angry, he's like, I've had enough.

01:13:30.000 And we're like, whoa.

01:13:32.000 Yeah, that's angry.

01:13:34.000 He's a bratty kid who's in a bad mood.

01:13:36.000 I just stumbled across a really devastating looking website trying to look for his transcript of saying the F-word.

01:13:43.000 This is the headline.

01:13:43.000 The Daily Rake.

01:13:44.000 That looks evil.

01:13:46.000 That looks pretty racist.

01:13:48.000 Breaking heroic faggot Justin Trudeau bravely hides like a little bitch in the face of the Hunka Cost. 1.00

01:13:53.000 This looks like a wild sight.

01:13:56.000 Okay.

01:13:56.000 Beware.

01:13:57.000 Watch out for that one.

01:13:59.000 All right.

01:13:59.000 So now we can finally introduce Joe Biden into his own segment.

01:14:04.000 Here he is talking about your dreams and what you can do.

01:14:13.000 You and your colleagues.

01:14:15.000 Let's restart this.

01:14:16.000 You and your colleagues couldn't have done what you think your dreams and your dreams are that what your dreams are going to be with your dreams.

01:14:23.000 You're going to make it.

01:14:24.000 You could do anything you want to do.

01:14:26.000 Is that your guess?

01:14:27.000 I've seen this before, obviously.

01:14:28.000 That's basically what it is.

01:14:30.000 Colleagues couldn't have done...

01:14:33.000 If you had opportunities looking back on it, probably one of you.

01:14:36.000 You could have done anything.

01:14:37.000 Almost anything with your crews.

01:14:38.000 They're so talented.

01:14:42.000 You want him to do you so much you could do anything?

01:14:46.000 Oh my dear.

01:14:47.000 It's exactly the same.

01:14:49.000 This is way closer than last night's Amber Heard with fucking Mr. Ripley.

01:14:54.000 My only problem with that is that I think it's ordered incorrectly.

01:14:57.000 It should be that little kid saying something, and then he's the reference of the temple strikes again.

01:15:03.000 They always do the second.

01:15:04.000 I know, it's a joke.

01:15:05.000 It's saying like this is the epitome of fucking up speech, so it should be the meme.

01:15:10.000 Oh, I see.

01:15:11.000 If you had opportunities looking back on it, probably one of you.

01:15:14.000 You could have done anything.

01:15:15.000 Almost anything with your crews.

01:15:16.000 You're so talented.

01:15:19.000 That's awesome.

01:15:24.000 All right.

01:15:29.000 I think it's time to get to the fucking mailbag.

01:15:36.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.

01:15:40.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

01:15:46.000 Let me touch it.

01:15:50.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.

01:15:57.000 This is from another guy named Gavin.

01:16:00.000 That's supposed to be a big deal, right?

01:16:02.000 It's a big deal.

01:16:03.000 It's a big deal when you find someone with the same name.

01:16:09.000 What's up, Gavin, Shitty Buttheart, and Jackie Rivera?

01:16:14.000 I know you don't want to look at Amber Heard and Johnny Depp anymore, but this looks exactly like Amber Heard is doing a bump of Coke on the stand.

01:16:21.000 Okay, this I'd just like to say in advance, this will not look like she's doing a bump of Coke on the stand.

01:16:31.000 Hello?

01:16:32.000 It's called Urgent Read.

01:16:34.000 It was sent in here at 1 p.m.

01:16:38.000 Gotcha.

01:16:39.000 Oh, it had a different color flag.

01:16:42.000 Yeah, that's because I'm already treating it as used.

01:16:46.000 Speaking of treated as used.

01:16:58.000 No, dumbass.

01:16:59.000 No.

01:17:00.000 Spilly got a bunch of snot in her nose, and she doesn't want to go... 0.76

01:17:04.000 So she put the tissue in there to absorb the snot. 0.60

01:17:08.000 More Lara Logan tits. 1.00

01:17:11.000 Last night at the bar, I was saying, I don't blame those Arabs for raping her.

01:17:15.000 Did we show the pic?

01:17:16.000 That's a joke.

01:17:17.000 Did we show the pic of Kyle Rittenhouse?

01:17:21.000 Oh, yeah.

01:17:21.000 Yeah.

01:17:22.000 Did you see the interview with Eric Bowling when she had her tits popping out and realizes after a minute of the camera being on her?

01:17:27.000 Eric Bowling's reaction is awesome.

01:17:28.000 This was before the Rittenhouse picture.

01:17:30.000 I had no idea she was packing those cans.

01:17:33.000 Look at those things.

01:17:35.000 Let's bring in my esteemed colleague, Laura Logan, a journalist who has been covering the border story for years.

01:17:41.000 Laura, thank you for joining.

01:17:42.000 Great to have you on the show for the first time.

01:17:44.000 You know, we saw 211.

01:17:49.000 Is that where it ended?

01:17:51.000 Yeah.

01:17:52.000 The shit going on in his mind must be pretty insane.

01:17:57.000 Hello there, Donald Sutherland with AIDS and Jesse Lee Peterson.

01:18:00.000 When the mainstream media switched the spotlight from UK to abortion, I brought up the same point to you, Mr. Gavin McInnes, made on GOML Live, that Roe lied and was paid to do so.

01:18:09.000 It seems the opposite is true now, and I look like an asshole.

01:18:12.000 Roe was paid off to be pro-life.

01:18:15.000 What?

01:18:18.000 Roe v.

01:18:18.000 Wade, woman behind the U.S. abortion ruling, was paid to recant.

01:18:22.000 So first she was paid to be the face of the pro-choice movement, and then she was paid to be the face of the pro-life movement.

01:18:33.000 This bitch is anyone's dog for a bone. 1.00

01:18:37.000 The woman behind the 1973 ruling legislating abortion in the U.S. is seen admitting a new documentary that is stunning change of heart on the issue was later all enact.

01:18:45.000 Norma McCorvey says in her deathbed confession, as she calls it, a visibly ailing McCorvey says, she only became an anti-abortion activist because she was paid by evangelical groups.

01:18:58.000 I was the big fish, she said.

01:19:00.000 I think it was a mutual thing.

01:19:01.000 I took their money and they'd put me out in front of the cameras and tell me what to say.

01:19:04.000 Holy shit.

01:19:07.000 That's amazing.

01:19:08.000 Amazing.

01:19:10.000 Beer and a half month.

01:19:11.000 Gavin Low T. I notice how Gav would always say that subscribing to censor.tv costs a beer and a half.

01:19:16.000 What kind of logic is this?

01:19:17.000 Do beers cost $6.66 where you're from?

01:19:21.000 Well, beer prices vary, sir.

01:19:24.000 Sometimes they're...

01:19:27.000 At Grand Central Station, they're $9.

01:19:30.000 At most Legions, they're $3 or $4.

01:19:34.000 Outside of the city, your average dive bar, a can of buds, $5.

01:19:39.000 So it's two beers a month.

01:19:42.000 I thought you might enjoy laughing at these hideous creatures competing in a dress-up competition called the Pop Life Ball.

01:19:47.000 The trannies, cross-dressers, wear terrible homemade outfits, attempt to dance, and get judged by a panel of horny losers making up criteria as they go. 1.00

01:19:56.000 The entire video is ridiculousness.

01:19:58.000 Drop the needle anywhere and you're guaranteed to have a good laugh.

01:20:01.000 The description of the event is the ultimate pop star.

01:20:05.000 With your look inspired by a pop star of your choosing, entertain the judges with moves that set you apart from the rest until you are the last pop star standing.

01:20:18.000 Drop the ball here.

01:20:24.000 Oh, this is the Voguing homos. 1.00

01:20:26.000 I don't think this guy's heard of Voguan.

01:20:34.000 Yeah, that's what's going on.

01:20:35.000 This guy's never heard of Voguing.

01:20:37.000 You can tell I didn't screen the emails this time.

01:20:41.000 This looks like it's in a third world country.

01:20:48.000 All right.

01:20:50.000 Interesting.

01:20:55.000 I'm sure I'm the 10,000th person to bitch about this today, but the new hot fix made it so my audio won't continue to play if I shut my screen off.

01:21:04.000 Huh.

01:21:05.000 Hmm.

01:21:06.000 Switch it back, or I'll kill you. 0.65

01:21:08.000 Okay.

01:21:09.000 That's mean.

01:21:11.000 Did the feminists just reinvent marriage in strict chastity before marriage? 1.00

01:21:16.000 International Gavin and Rice Aranyi.

01:21:18.000 This is a screenshot from 2X Chromosomes, a feminist subreddit.

01:21:22.000 They're slowly rebuilding chastity and marriage inadvertently. 0.59

01:21:25.000 This is meant to be some anti-abortion thing, but isn't it fundamentally marriage with strict chastity before marriage?

01:21:31.000 And then they go, the cost of raising a child is estimated to be $272,000.

01:21:37.000 $272,000.

01:21:38.000 I propose that all men in states that restrict women's access to abortion be required to purchase liability insurance or put up some sort of a bond before they allow to have sex with a woman. 0.81

01:21:47.000 Yeah, there should be a ceremony, too.

01:21:49.000 Don't you think?

01:21:51.000 And at the ceremony, woman should dress up in like a nice, I don't know, big white dress. 1.00

01:21:57.000 And the man should have a tuxedo, and they should exchange some kind of jewelry.

01:22:00.000 Something to like show that you're permanently...

01:22:03.000 Yeah, yeah, like a necklace.

01:22:04.000 Or a bracelet or something.

01:22:06.000 Oh, earrings fall off.

01:22:07.000 Necklaces could get a watch?

01:22:11.000 On your finger.

01:22:12.000 You could put a ring on your finger.

01:22:14.000 Yeah, okay.

01:22:14.000 Because it stays there more.

01:22:15.000 Yeah, men wear rings. 0.96

01:22:17.000 Yeah.

01:22:19.000 Make it gold or something.

01:22:21.000 Something valuable.

01:22:28.000 I cannot stop thinking about this, he says.

01:22:31.000 I'm sorry, I had to jump a few.

01:22:36.000 Can a dad sees another dad?

01:22:37.000 He knows it is his favorite spot.

01:22:40.000 This is Sprinkles is the subject of the doctrine.

01:22:45.000 Now I'm on board.

01:22:49.000 She's loading up.

01:22:50.000 I've seen these guys before.

01:22:51.000 They work really hard on their sketches.

01:22:55.000 Are these guys overacting as much as the black dudes? 0.98

01:23:05.000 I guess they'll let anybody in here.

01:23:20.000 Mine is, oh, I didn't know this was a fag bar. 1.00

01:23:25.000 And then they'll say, yeah, that's why you're in here.

01:23:27.000 You see the one where the dad gives his son the old man clothes?

01:23:33.000 And he finally becomes a dad, like wearing the dad shoes and the shorts.

01:23:37.000 That's a good one.

01:23:38.000 I know a guy, Big John, we call him.

01:23:40.000 He wears those Reeboks and he doesn't have a kid.

01:23:44.000 I go, this is stolen valor, dude.

01:23:46.000 You can't wear cargo shorts with white socks and a belt and a polo and those white Reeboks if you're not a dad.

01:23:53.000 I found it.

01:23:58.000 Feels like you're watching an A24 film.

01:24:06.000 Dude, your internet is ruining the show.

01:24:08.000 It's not.

01:24:08.000 It's.

01:24:09.000 I'm looking at it.

01:24:13.000 Stutter 2.

01:24:15.000 Hey, Ryan, this is stuttering.

01:24:16.000 No.

01:24:17.000 I'm looking at it.

01:24:18.000 Stutter 2.

01:24:31.000 We're the Nike monarchs.

01:24:34.000 Listen tight.

01:24:36.000 Take your hair back.

01:24:53.000 Can't wait to mow my lawn one day.

01:24:56.000 It's awesome.

01:24:57.000 I bet.

01:25:00.000 Thermostats, a big deal.

01:25:05.000 I want to be out of touch.

01:25:06.000 I know a place better than Home Depot.

01:25:09.000 Lowe's?

01:25:10.000 No, it's a local hardware store.

01:25:13.000 Tractor supply down south.

01:25:15.000 That shit slaps. 1.00

01:25:16.000 You can get a cowboy hat there.

01:25:21.000 That's so pleasant to watch.

01:25:24.000 Open heart surgery for my son.

01:25:26.000 I called in last night to talk about Larry Barnes and asked for a prayer for my son.

01:25:29.000 I thought I could give you some more information.

01:25:31.000 It's just a bummer to talk about.

01:25:32.000 His name is Lincoln and he's yet to be born.

01:25:33.000 His due date is July 2nd.

01:25:35.000 He has a hole in his heart and problems with his top two valves.

01:25:38.000 If we hadn't found it, he'd be fine for a couple days after birth, then he would go blue and die.

01:25:43.000 A day or so after his birth, he'll have open heart surgery and be in recovery for a couple weeks.

01:25:49.000 One of the bad things for us is we live in Key West, Florida, and everything's going to happen three hours away from Miami.

01:25:54.000 So I have to be away from my job so I can care for my daughter, who is a year and a half, my wife, after she gives birth.

01:25:59.000 So I'll be out of work for a little while.

01:26:01.000 I don't like to ask for money, but I'm attaching a GoFundMe.

01:26:03.000 Much prayer is needed.

01:26:05.000 Okay.

01:26:07.000 Man, ask for money.

01:26:09.000 If you search that title, Appell Family and Baby Lincoln, it comes right up.

01:26:14.000 Okay.

01:26:14.000 So you can do that.

01:26:16.000 What's up, guys?

01:26:16.000 I was scrolling on TikTok and I found this video I edited for a video drop.

01:26:19.000 The way he says you're a fucking retard killed me.

01:26:22.000 I'm using talk to text because I'm driving, so don't break my balls for my grammar, Gavin.

01:26:26.000 I don't believe you.

01:26:27.000 I think you have shitty grammar and you just say you're doing talk to text to hide it.

01:26:31.000 You're a fucking retard. 1.00

01:26:34.000 You're a fucking retard. 1.00

01:26:37.000 That's pretty good.

01:26:38.000 Okay.

01:26:40.000 Hey, homos, this back alley abortion lie is so stupid. 1.00

01:26:44.000 The year before Roe v.

01:26:45.000 Wade, 39 women died from back alley abortions and 24 from legal abortions.

01:26:51.000 Like you guys said, if someone wants one, they can just travel to a blue state.

01:26:54.000 But also, these baby killing doctors will be setting up pretty sophisticated abortion rooms in their basement. 1.00

01:26:59.000 This is a winning issue for us.

01:27:01.000 We, as a culture, have become desensitized to abortion.

01:27:04.000 And the more it's in the headlines, the more people will see how disgusting of a practice it is.

01:27:09.000 Even if it hurts the right, it's the hill to die on to have more kids like my son, born in January, walking this earth.

01:27:16.000 I like your new sunglasses.

01:27:17.000 Look at that funny little guy.

01:27:20.000 He's a cutie Magooty.

01:27:23.000 Doyle made this point.

01:27:25.000 Wait, you're telling me that if Roe v.

01:27:28.000 Wade is overturned, whores are going to have to have dangerous back alley abortions that could kill them. 1.00

01:27:33.000 You're telling me that women who want to kill their babies might die? 0.99

01:27:40.000 Based.

01:27:41.000 Hmm.

01:27:42.000 A little black pilled.

01:27:43.000 Good one.

01:27:47.000 All right.

01:27:47.000 Let's get to the final video.

01:28:04.000 Someone wrote in saying they hate those two songs, the mailbag song and the final video song.

01:28:09.000 I'm amazed at their longevity.

01:28:11.000 We call them the exceptions of the rule.

01:28:14.000 I love both of them just as much as I did the very first day.

01:28:18.000 They're a crucial part of the show.

01:28:19.000 I love them even more every day, so I'm better.

01:28:23.000 Has your dad ever heard the mail song?

01:28:25.000 I don't think so, but I also don't doubt it.

01:28:28.000 I feel like somebody maybe he works with or something or somebody brought it up to him.

01:28:33.000 Does he think there's something wrong with that?

01:28:36.000 I can only speculate that yes.

01:28:37.000 When are you going to see your dad again?

01:28:39.000 Good cue.

01:28:40.000 Well, we want to go to California, so the baby has to be a little older for that.

01:28:44.000 So maybe this summer?

01:28:46.000 He can't come see his own fucking grandson?

01:28:49.000 He's busy.

01:28:50.000 Oh, okay.

01:28:52.000 Japanese busy sansing. 0.92

01:28:54.000 So look at this gigantic, what do they call it?

01:28:57.000 A pit, a hole, pit, doohickey.

01:28:59.000 It's a sinkhole.

01:29:00.000 So this is one of the biggest sinkholes in American history.

01:29:04.000 It goes down like 600 feet.

01:29:07.000 And they didn't have time to put up any boundaries.

01:29:10.000 And this guy goes and checks it out.

01:29:11.000 Holy fuck, bro.

01:29:12.000 I almost just went in this on-ramp.

01:29:14.000 There's no signs blocking it off.

01:29:15.000 And I thought I was fucking high.

01:29:17.000 That's just a pit on the on-ramp.

01:29:21.000 Someone's gonna die.

01:29:22.000 What the fuck?

01:29:23.000 They don't have this shit blocked off or nothing.

01:29:27.000 He should park sideways to stop.

01:29:29.000 Watch, this guy's coming.

01:29:30.000 There's a guy coming behind me.

01:29:31.000 Hey, yo.

01:29:34.000 Ayo.

01:29:36.000 Yeah.

01:29:37.000 Oh, is he gonna fucking go?

01:29:41.000 I would be worried about the sinkhole expanding.

01:29:48.000 Holy shit.

01:29:49.000 Oh, it's water.

01:29:51.000 I am high.

01:29:55.000 That's enough.

01:29:56.000 Ah, good stuff.

01:29:57.000 All right, folks, it's the weekend.

01:29:59.000 Try to get off your phone.

01:30:01.000 I'm just as guilty as you, by the way.

01:30:02.000 I'm no saint.

01:30:04.000 I look at it way too often.

01:30:06.000 GPS, fine.

01:30:07.000 Podcast in the background, I guess, if your kids aren't around.

01:30:11.000 But we need to get off our phones more.

01:30:14.000 They talk about microchips in our hands.

01:30:16.000 We are holding a microchip in our hand.

01:30:18.000 How do we catch those 2,000 mules with their phones?

01:30:21.000 They're monitoring us.

01:30:22.000 We're totally available to everyone.

01:30:24.000 How about next time you're in your car?

01:30:26.000 Don't have the radio on.

01:30:27.000 Don't have your phone on.

01:30:29.000 Just use the time to think.

01:30:31.000 We're not coming up with new thoughts, new ideas.

01:30:33.000 You know why we come up with some of our best stuff when we're just falling asleep or just waking up?

01:30:37.000 Because it's the only time we don't have our fucking phones.

01:30:39.000 And it's not boding well for kids.

01:30:41.000 Kids are not experiencing ups and downs the way they should.

01:30:43.000 They should be in love.

01:30:44.000 They should be crushed if the boy or the girl doesn't like him or her.

01:30:49.000 They should be going through all that shit.

01:30:50.000 But we're denying our existence here.

01:30:52.000 And someone else is controlling our thoughts and our feelings and our ups and our downs.

01:30:57.000 That's not acceptable.

01:30:58.000 We want to get out there and experience life.

01:31:01.000 Stare at your kid.

01:31:02.000 Look at your wife. 0.86

01:31:04.000 Talk to people.

01:31:05.000 When you're at the bar, talk to the guy next to you.

01:31:09.000 Say, this weather really sucks, huh?

01:31:11.000 Get into a political.

01:31:12.000 You know, they say we can't argue politically anymore.

01:31:15.000 I can.

01:31:16.000 I go to bars.

01:31:17.000 I'm civil.

01:31:17.000 I just say I'm a big Trump guy.

01:31:19.000 You throw them a few bones.

01:31:20.000 Like, you go, yeah, he is obnoxious.

01:31:22.000 Oh, the tweets were embarrassing.

01:31:24.000 Throw them a few bones so they know we're not going to get into a fist fight.

01:31:27.000 And you have an interesting discussion with them, especially old people.

01:31:30.000 Ask them about their cars when they had a fucking, I don't know, a MG back in 1971 or something like that.

01:31:38.000 A 57 Chevy or some cool shit.

01:31:43.000 And that makes you a better person because you've experienced more life.

01:31:46.000 We're going to be in our deathbeds and go, I was on my fucking phone all the time scrolling through TikTok or Instagram reels or simping on some hot chick or reading the inane, ridiculous political opinions of the losers who are still allowed on Twitter.

01:32:01.000 You don't need that in your life.

01:32:03.000 You need to grow and to experience what's around you.

01:32:06.000 Go out tonight.

01:32:08.000 Go out alone.

01:32:09.000 Go sit at a bar alone.

01:32:11.000 You'll meet someone there.

01:32:12.000 Have a discussion.

01:32:13.000 Get to know them.

01:32:14.000 Now you've experienced a little bit of their life.

01:32:17.000 Now their time driving a taxi for the mob is sort of your time.

01:32:23.000 You kind of drove a taxi for the mob now.

01:32:26.000 You've experienced that.

01:32:27.000 You lived in Chile for 14 years after you talked to the guy who did that because he was working on a mine.

01:32:34.000 You know what I mean?

01:32:36.000 Get out there.

01:32:37.000 Get laid.

01:32:39.000 Get fired.

01:32:40.000 Get in trouble.

01:32:41.000 Be brave.

01:32:42.000 And never stop fighting.

01:32:45.000 The sun goes down when I'm telling you.

01:32:50.000 But the sun comes up when it comes to the sun.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - May 06, 2022

S4E112 - BLACK COMEDY

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