Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S4E113 - ABORTION WARS

00:01:00.000 Is Frank going to get us a new breaker for that popped socket thing, the fuse?

00:01:06.000 Well, he said we could add a new outlet in the middle.

00:01:13.000 Okay.

00:01:14.000 Is he going to do that?

00:01:15.000 Yes.

00:01:16.000 I want them all to go through the same thing, though.

00:01:20.000 Because now I just turn off the power bar and all the whole studio shuts down.

00:01:24.000 Yeah.

00:01:25.000 But you've got to ask how much.

00:01:27.000 Okay.

00:01:27.000 Like, I don't want to get a new outlet if it's going to be a thousand bucks.

00:01:30.000 I'd rather just have an extension cord.

00:01:32.000 It's not inconvenient.

00:01:33.000 Yeah.

00:01:33.000 That's a good lesson for you, Ryan.

00:01:35.000 Whenever anyone suggests something, like, we could fix all these lights and make them LED, you go, okay, yeah, tell me how much.

00:01:42.000 And then you get a second opinion if it's something you really need.

00:01:47.000 And I've noticed in this modern age, post-COVID, with the employment being so bizarre, when you ask for another opinion, the prices are nuts.

00:01:57.000 Like that bookshelf I built around my TV.

00:01:59.000 The first offer was $8,000 to $10,000, and then the other one was $2,000.

00:02:07.000 So I saved like $8,000 by going with the second guy.

00:02:11.000 Although now when I look at the shelf, I can see there's a dip.

00:02:13.000 And the Mantis shrimp tank, too.

00:02:15.000 The Mantis shrimp tank is like one guy saying $1,000, another guy saying two, another guy saying $7,500.

00:02:26.000 That opening song was Hype Williams, not the guy who does the Missy Elliott videos, but some British artsy fartsy types my daughter turned me on to who are just stealing the name.

00:02:39.000 Which I kind of like.

00:02:41.000 A black guy named Dean Blunt and some Russian chick named Inga Copeland.

00:02:48.000 And they make weird, trippy music.

00:02:50.000 They look weird.

00:02:51.000 Dean Blunt's kind of mainstream in some of his other music, but that's getting pretty weird.

00:03:02.000 He does look weird.

00:03:03.000 My daughter barely uses that microcork. 1.00

00:03:05.000 I think this is what she thinks she is, but you got to actually do the work, my dear.

00:03:14.000 Speaking of my daughter, she gave me some lip plumper. 0.97

00:03:18.000 We went to Storm King for Mother's Day, which I highly recommend.

00:03:21.000 Have you ever been there?

00:03:22.000 Yeah.

00:03:23.000 That's near my old stomp and grounds.

00:03:25.000 It's got a bunch of weird, like, art installations.

00:03:28.000 Yeah, it's a giant field with giant sculptures on it.

00:03:31.000 The goal was to take acid and go there, but I never did it.

00:03:34.000 A couple of my friends did.

00:03:36.000 Well, it's too touristy, though.

00:03:37.000 There's too many people walking around.

00:03:41.000 Get out of here.

00:03:44.000 That's pretty wild.

00:03:45.000 Oh, you've been there before, though, right?

00:03:46.000 Like, not so we go all the time.

00:03:47.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:03:49.000 I remember we...

00:03:50.000 I'd never seen that Buddha guy.

00:03:51.000 I think he's new.

00:03:52.000 This man?

00:03:53.000 That man.

00:03:54.000 These are huge.

00:03:56.000 They're very big things.

00:03:58.000 I didn't see the house in the sunken down like that.

00:04:04.000 And I was talking to my daughter.

00:04:06.000 I said, wouldn't it be funny if I got my lips done?

00:04:08.000 Like, I don't want to do it if it's permanent, but if I had those big Hollywood lips, but also my mustache and a beard.

00:04:16.000 You never see that.

00:04:17.000 Fake lips with a beard.

00:04:21.000 That's kind of true.

00:04:22.000 Remember that one guy, though, who pretends to be a chick? 0.83

00:04:25.000 He's got the beard?

00:04:26.000 Yeah, he doesn't have fake lips.

00:04:30.000 I say, no one has fake lips and a beard.

00:04:32.000 And you go, well, there is that one guy who has a beard and doesn't have fake lips.

00:04:35.000 So that's an exception to the rule.

00:04:38.000 What?

00:04:41.000 He's got normal lips.

00:04:44.000 And I said, is there something you can do where it's just like for like three days?

00:04:49.000 It'd be funny when I had those fake eyelashes.

00:04:51.000 It'd be funny if I was doing the show with big fake lips. 0.76

00:04:53.000 So she goes, I got some on me.

00:04:55.000 So she put way too much on.

00:04:58.000 And it's the weirdest feeling.

00:04:59.000 Have you ever had lip plumper?

00:05:01.000 Yes.

00:05:02.000 I've kissed a girl with limp lip plumper. 0.94

00:05:05.000 And it feels weird.

00:05:07.000 She had a lot of trouble with that sentence.

00:05:09.000 The skin is tight on your lips.

00:05:11.000 Well, it feels like a billion ants are going nuts.

00:05:15.000 And then I didn't really get any plumpness.

00:05:17.000 I mean, I don't have any lips at all.

00:05:22.000 There's a before and after.

00:05:24.000 And then my son did it too, the 13-year-old.

00:05:28.000 And these 13-year-olds, they're all like, that doesn't even, I don't feel anything at all.

00:05:33.000 It's nothing, man.

00:05:34.000 This sucked.

00:05:34.000 This is bullshit.

00:05:36.000 And then when it starts working and the ant part happens, he goes, this feels good.

00:05:40.000 I like it.

00:05:42.000 And he goes, he goes, oh, seriously, I'll take...

00:05:48.000 I was telling him that I was deeply disturbed by that movie, Hereditary.

00:05:52.000 Yeah.

00:05:53.000 And I wasn't just scared.

00:05:54.000 I was mortified.

00:05:57.000 That looks retarded. 0.99

00:05:58.000 So I feel like that is good enough for me.

00:06:00.000 Trust me, it can get a lot bigger, but we don't need to be going that big.

00:06:05.000 Okay.

00:06:06.000 See, that wouldn't be good.

00:06:06.000 And you can go a little bit bigger.

00:06:07.000 And he goes, oh, seriously, put that on an iPad, walk out in the woods, and watch it in the darkness on an iPad alone.

00:06:19.000 I'm like, no, you wouldn't.

00:06:21.000 Because when you go to the laundry room, you prop the door open.

00:06:24.000 Oh, okay.

00:06:25.000 You don't want to be stuck there alone with the monsters.

00:06:27.000 He goes, no.

00:06:28.000 I do that so it doesn't slam shut Because you always freak out when I do the laundry.

00:06:32.000 I go, I freak out when you do the laundry because you wash one pair of sweatpants.

00:06:37.000 I am on pure, I am on 100% corrections officer mode now.

00:06:43.000 You know what I do when I leave?

00:06:45.000 I unplug the washer dryer.

00:06:50.000 It's not hard to thwart these criminals, by the way.

00:06:52.000 You don't have to lock up the contraband.

00:06:54.000 They're not smart enough to realize.

00:06:56.000 They'll just turn the button and won't go on.

00:06:58.000 They'll go, fuck, and walk away.

00:07:02.000 But I've got to look out for drugs.

00:07:04.000 I've got to look out for illegal iPads.

00:07:07.000 And I've got to look out for this new laundry trick.

00:07:09.000 I said, you're not doing the laundry unless you have a load.

00:07:13.000 So they're putting clean clothes.

00:07:16.000 So I stop them in front of the laundry room.

00:07:18.000 I go, whoa, whoa, what's going on?

00:07:19.000 He goes, just washing my sweatpants.

00:07:21.000 I need them for tomorrow.

00:07:22.000 They're all stained.

00:07:23.000 And I go, let me see this.

00:07:25.000 And there is like a, I don't know, coffee stain or whatever on the sweatpants.

00:07:29.000 Okay, that's one dirty item.

00:07:31.000 What are these?

00:07:32.000 These are your mother's jogging pants. 0.80

00:07:35.000 Well, they're on my floor.

00:07:38.000 He went and got someone else's dirty laundry to increase the pile.

00:07:42.000 And then I go, show me the stain on this shirt.

00:07:45.000 There's a sweatshirt.

00:07:47.000 Nothing.

00:07:48.000 Nothing there.

00:07:49.000 It doesn't say that.

00:07:50.000 You're a liar.

00:07:53.000 I remember my dad, when I was a kid, I put spit on my eyes to make it look like I was trying.

00:07:58.000 And he goes, not spit.

00:08:00.000 Tears are salty.

00:08:02.000 So I'm feeling upset.

00:08:05.000 And I've become that guy.

00:08:07.000 I remember one time I was drunk, and I drove home, and I come into the house, and I'm like, fuck, he's going to get me.

00:08:13.000 So I go right into the bathroom to piss.

00:08:16.000 I think maybe I can find something, maybe it's even soap for my breath.

00:08:21.000 There's no toothbrush in that.

00:08:22.000 That's the downstairs bathroom. 0.57

00:08:23.000 And so I was waiting there and I couldn't piss.

00:08:25.000 And he's right up against the wall listening.

00:08:28.000 And he goes, well, we're waiting.

00:08:34.000 Speaking of my parents, fuck it.

00:08:37.000 So it's Storm King.

00:08:38.000 I give her a call.

00:08:39.000 The thing about my parents is they're so cheap, cheap Scottish people, that phoning them is never simple. 1.00

00:08:45.000 It's always Skype, or I get some call from like Santa Barbara, California, and it's rerouting.

00:08:52.000 Remember that Jack, iJack or something?

00:08:54.000 You plug it into your phone and it's free, free telephone because it uses the internet and all this shit?

00:09:01.000 So every time they call me, it's some number I don't recognize, and I have to pick it up, guessing it might be Antifa or some freak stalker.

00:09:10.000 And then every time I call them, it's like, am I calling a landline?

00:09:13.000 Am I calling some new burner cell phone they got at some fucking bargain basement bin bullshit?

00:09:21.000 So I call one of the most, I just go, I mum sell the most recent number I have for them.

00:09:27.000 That's got to be the most reliable one, right?

00:09:29.000 Leave a message.

00:09:30.000 Then I get this fucking drunken screaming call at around eight or nine going, hello?

00:09:39.000 Hello, Gavin.

00:09:40.000 I don't know if you know this, but it's fucking Mother's Day.

00:09:44.000 And I'm like, fucking Mother's Day?

00:09:46.000 Is that like Motherfucker Day?

00:09:48.000 I don't like fucking Mother's Day.

00:09:50.000 I don't think there should be a fucking Mother's Day.

00:09:53.000 Nor does God, because he makes it retarded if you do. 1.00

00:09:56.000 Correct.

00:10:00.000 And he goes, speak to your mother.

00:10:03.000 And then I can hear her going, no, no, no, I'm not interested.

00:10:06.000 I don't want to beg.

00:10:08.000 I'm not out looking for scraps.

00:10:11.000 And I'm like, hey, hey, hey, I'm trying to say, I called you at two and left a message.

00:10:18.000 But he has the phone out like this, so he can't hear me.

00:10:20.000 And she's going like that.

00:10:21.000 I'm not going to beg for scraps from my boys.

00:10:28.000 So she hangs up on me.

00:10:31.000 Then I have to call back.

00:10:34.000 And I have to go, wait, wait, wait, wait, let me talk.

00:10:35.000 Let me talk.

00:10:36.000 Eventually, the third try, I go, I called you at two and left a message.

00:10:41.000 And there's silence.

00:10:42.000 The crying and the yelling have stopped.

00:10:44.000 He's yelling, she's crying.

00:10:46.000 The fucking melodrama on these people.

00:10:49.000 How about you just go, hey, did you not call me on Mother's Day?

00:10:53.000 And then if I say no, you just hang up.

00:10:56.000 That's pretty good.

00:11:00.000 So I go, I called you.

00:11:01.000 And then my dad goes, oh, well, your mother owes you an apology.

00:11:05.000 And now I'm kind of mad.

00:11:07.000 So I don't really feel like chatting.

00:11:09.000 And then she's embarrassed, so she doesn't feel like chatting either.

00:11:11.000 So we just, I think we both pretend that we lost the line.

00:11:16.000 And then today, she has a peace offering.

00:11:19.000 She goes, I have a wood photo album with you and the kids and some from your wedding.

00:11:26.000 And I didn't bring it last time because it's so heavy.

00:11:28.000 But I have that for you.

00:11:30.000 Yeah.

00:11:31.000 Mom, us Jet Xers have way too many fucking pictures.

00:11:35.000 It's the bane of our existence.

00:11:38.000 We're not in the market for photo albums.

00:11:42.000 Right?

00:11:43.000 Did you call your mom?

00:11:45.000 I did.

00:11:46.000 She beat me to it, actually. 0.99

00:11:48.000 Hi, it's Mother's Day.

00:11:49.000 I suppose you want to say Happy Mother's Day.

00:11:51.000 Something like that, yeah.

00:11:53.000 It was all the ladies. 1.00

00:11:54.000 It was my great-grandma, my grandma, and my mom.

00:11:56.000 So I was just like, hey, ladies.

00:11:58.000 I did like an in-and-out thing, performance.

00:12:01.000 I was like, guys, happy Mother's Day.

00:12:03.000 Love you.

00:12:04.000 We got to go because we got to give a Mother's Day thing to this moment.

00:12:09.000 Can you get your fucking hair out of your face?

00:12:12.000 I'll do it off-cam so that way I don't have to donate to my hair jar.

00:12:19.000 So you just made a quickie.

00:12:20.000 Yeah.

00:12:21.000 Huh.

00:12:22.000 Just all, because I could be on the phone with them forever.

00:12:24.000 So I just get, it was like a performance because there was my, actually my aunt was there too.

00:12:28.000 So just four women. 0.61

00:12:29.000 I'm like, hey, lady.

00:12:30.000 So FaceTime.

00:12:31.000 Bye-bye.

00:12:32.000 Yeah.

00:12:33.000 You're FaceTiming them.

00:12:34.000 Yep.

00:12:36.000 And then you have your own mom to deal with.

00:12:38.000 That's correct.

00:12:39.000 I mean, your wife.

00:12:40.000 Mommy wifey. 0.98

00:12:41.000 Your baby, your baby mama.

00:12:42.000 Baby mama.

00:12:43.000 Speaking of baby moms, can we get Crip Daddy on the line?

00:12:45.000 I'm sure we could.

00:12:48.000 He owes his mom a lot more than we owe our moms.

00:12:51.000 That's true.

00:12:53.000 My mom's a great mom, but she wasn't a big fan of me when I was a teenager.

00:12:57.000 I wasn't a very likable young man.

00:13:00.000 I guess that's my son.

00:13:02.000 He's being the jerk.

00:13:03.000 The joke.

00:13:04.000 Joke.

00:13:09.000 They talk a big game.

00:13:10.000 Young men, when testosterone starts, they're still a little boy, but they're also fucking arrogant.

00:13:20.000 So they can beat the shit out of anyone in the world.

00:13:23.000 It's fun, funny watching them play basketball, like professionally, you know, on a team.

00:13:28.000 Because everyone's shooting from half court.

00:13:30.000 They're all missing.

00:13:34.000 That doesn't look like him.

00:13:35.000 That looks like a weird circle.

00:13:36.000 Mr. Daddy?

00:13:38.000 Yo, D. Yeah, yeah.

00:13:40.000 Could you turn your fucking video on, you shit for brains?

00:13:45.000 My video is on.

00:13:46.000 It's your guys's, and then I can't see.

00:13:49.000 Hold on.

00:13:51.000 You stupid asshole.

00:13:54.000 Ouch.

00:13:54.000 I will fucking shit on you.

00:13:58.000 Hold on.

00:13:58.000 Maybe track on me back.

00:14:00.000 Yeah, let's try.

00:14:00.000 Yeah, let's try again.

00:14:01.000 Okay, we'll try.

00:14:04.000 Speaking of Crip Daddy, while you try to do that, I was suggesting that Crip Daddy get into boxing.

00:14:12.000 And he said, my legs don't work.

00:14:14.000 I don't think that would go great.

00:14:15.000 And I go, plenty of boxers are handicapped.

00:14:18.000 Like this woman.

00:14:19.000 One, three.

00:14:20.000 Can you do two things at once?

00:14:22.000 Look at her.

00:14:31.000 Should she be boxing?

00:14:34.000 No.

00:14:35.000 What?

00:14:36.000 I don't know if this is a sport for you, my dear.

00:14:41.000 How about we start with walking?

00:14:44.000 Or like, I don't know, swimming?

00:14:47.000 I wouldn't trust her to make my sandwich.

00:14:49.000 Oh, my God.

00:14:49.000 There'd be lettuce all over the place.

00:14:53.000 Why are there pickles on the ceiling?

00:14:55.000 Oh, sorry.

00:14:58.000 Pickles on the ceiling.

00:14:59.000 Ceiling.

00:15:01.000 It's a handicap chef book, cookbook.

00:15:07.000 It could be a food network show, too.

00:15:09.000 Welcome back to Pickles on the Ceiling.

00:15:13.000 Well, you're making pickles on the ceiling, almost.

00:15:17.000 Uh-oh, this is why my neighbors have signs on their lawn that says, we respect disabilities. 0.96

00:15:24.000 Whoa.

00:15:25.000 Hello, Donovan.

00:15:27.000 How's it going?

00:15:28.000 What were we discussing here?

00:15:30.000 We were watching an unbelievably handicapped woman try to box. 1.00

00:15:36.000 Like, flailing.

00:15:37.000 Can you see that?

00:15:40.000 That just looks like a woman trying to box in general. 1.00

00:15:44.000 Are you sure she's handicapped?

00:15:46.000 I got to be honest, when I see them at the gym boxing and you look at how hard they hit the bag and you just think, why are you here?

00:15:52.000 Like, if it was golf and every time they hit the ball, it went five feet, you'd go, golf is not for you.

00:16:01.000 Yeah, no, I mean, there's the whole pretending that women can defend themselves from man and whatnot, but we know better. 1.00

00:16:09.000 That's why they invented pepper spray. 1.00

00:16:11.000 Yeah, that's for them.

00:16:13.000 Pepper spray in a gun is your only hope.

00:16:14.000 All this, like, kick him in the balls.

00:16:16.000 Oh, my magic balls.

00:16:19.000 You touch them and I fucking collapse.

00:16:21.000 No, a girl touches my balls. 1.00

00:16:23.000 I come.

00:16:25.000 It's not easy to get balls, too.

00:16:27.000 Like, it's you got to aim it perfectly.

00:16:30.000 Their legs have to be spread. 1.00

00:16:31.000 They have to not see it coming and not block it.

00:16:33.000 It's not like it's a magic button that's hanging there.

00:16:36.000 Yeah, no, it's not a defeat all, you know, and end button.

00:16:40.000 No, I agree.

00:16:42.000 So you just had Mother's Day.

00:16:44.000 What did you do for your mom?

00:16:45.000 Did you make her a little card that said, I love you infinity, mom?

00:16:49.000 No, I said, you're a bitch. 1.00

00:16:52.000 Fuck you.

00:16:53.000 Here's a card, I guess.

00:16:55.000 She doesn't get praise from me.

00:16:57.000 She didn't even make me right, so I don't celebrate Mother's Day for her, really.

00:17:02.000 She's not done.

00:17:04.000 I was pussed out half-baked, dude. 0.98

00:17:06.000 Yeah, sorry.

00:17:08.000 If it was bread, it would be inedible.

00:17:10.000 I'm pretty sure I'd make fun of my mom every Mother's Day for being a racist mom because all my white brothers can walk in her fine. 1.00

00:17:20.000 And you're not white? 0.75

00:17:21.000 What are you?

00:17:22.000 Hispanic? 0.74

00:17:23.000 Yeah, I'm a fucking gross Mexican.

00:17:25.000 Ew, gross.

00:17:27.000 I know that that's a disabled part of me.

00:17:29.000 That's the real handicap right there is your half dishwasher.

00:17:34.000 I notice she's part of your comedy, though, a lot.

00:17:37.000 Is she funny?

00:17:39.000 She plays a good straight man.

00:17:40.000 She's a trans woman.

00:17:43.000 She does a really good, like, just, you know, goes with the bit, but you don't really have to catch her off guard too hard, you know?

00:17:53.000 But yeah, I like messing with her.

00:17:55.000 Is she there right now?

00:17:57.000 No, she's outside smoking her menthol cigarettes and whatnot.

00:18:01.000 I want to see her.

00:18:04.000 You and a lot of people.

00:18:05.000 Honestly.

00:18:06.000 It's like Charlie's Angels.

00:18:07.000 She's this mystery behind the curtain.

00:18:10.000 And it's so funny because I have it set up where my mirror is behind me and you'll only get a glimpse of her from that mirror.

00:18:20.000 And that alone will send dudes into a fucking like, dude, I'm fucking jacking off to your mom right now.

00:18:26.000 And I'm like, okay.

00:18:28.000 I thought you were going to say it sends dudes into a frenzy wondering what she looks like because I've seen that shot before where it's just like part of her hair. 1.00

00:18:35.000 And I'm like, what is she?

00:18:36.000 What's her deal?

00:18:37.000 I mean, because as far as the moms, I was thanking my mom, but she didn't do that much.

00:18:42.000 She made a bunch of small meals and kicked me out of the house. 1.00

00:18:47.000 Yeah, bare minimum.

00:18:48.000 But your mom busts her ass every day. 1.00

00:18:51.000 Yeah.

00:18:52.000 Yeah.

00:18:53.000 I mean, she just does what she needs to do. 0.86

00:18:55.000 I don't think she needs praise for it, you know?

00:18:58.000 Yeah.

00:18:59.000 I think she could do it a little bit of praise. 0.98

00:19:01.000 Does she wash you every day? 1.00

00:19:04.000 I mean, yeah, you know.

00:19:06.000 Well, that's pretty good.

00:19:08.000 But, I mean, that's just a bare minimum.

00:19:10.000 You did this.

00:19:11.000 You don't get praise for it.

00:19:14.000 Yeah.

00:19:14.000 I remember my buddy Derek, his dad was screaming at him, going, I put a roof over your head, I make sure you're fed.

00:19:20.000 And him and his brother go, yeah, that's kind of the deal.

00:19:23.000 That's what you signed up for.

00:19:25.000 You don't get, you know, pat on the back for doing your job, bro.

00:19:30.000 That's what you told me all my entire life.

00:19:32.000 Yeah.

00:19:34.000 All right.

00:19:34.000 Well, you're not still thinking about coming to Orlando, are you?

00:19:38.000 I keep going, trying to see if I can pull it off somehow.

00:19:43.000 And I ideally would like to, but I don't know.

00:19:46.000 Yeah, well, if the odds are 9 and 10, it will be a success.

00:19:50.000 And if it is, the next one we can do near Chicago.

00:19:53.000 Yeah, no, that would be, I could absolutely pull that off.

00:19:56.000 Yeah.

00:19:58.000 All right, dude, I like you more than a friend.

00:20:00.000 Let's talk tomorrow.

00:20:01.000 Yes, absolutely.

00:20:02.000 And I love you.

00:20:03.000 Toodaloo bye, Crip.

00:20:05.000 Do you have that Ratzo Rizzo link?

00:20:07.000 It's not in today's notes, but I think I sent it to you last week when Crip Daddy kept canceling last week because Of his various ailments, but I was like, don't fucking take the bus from Chicago to Orlando, dude,

00:20:23.000 or you'll end up like Ratzo Rizzo at the end of Midnight Cowboy.

00:20:27.000 I just kind of ruined the joke.

00:20:30.000 It's not in the previous emails.

00:20:32.000 I don't see it.

00:20:33.000 I searched for it, but I have.

00:20:35.000 Ratzo doesn't come up?

00:20:36.000 No.

00:20:38.000 Yeah, there.

00:20:38.000 That's Crip Daddy going to Orlando with his girlfriend on the grave.

00:20:50.000 Uh-oh.

00:21:04.000 Is he kin to you?

00:21:05.000 What the word is kin?

00:21:14.000 So the cowboy doesn't give a fuck about him?

00:21:17.000 Yeah, he does.

00:21:18.000 Look.

00:21:20.000 He's about to make Angelina Jolie.

00:21:26.000 Boy, they really had some sunglass flare back then, didn't they?

00:21:31.000 Okay, folks.

00:21:32.000 Nothing to worry about.

00:21:33.000 Mr. Lilomas will be in Miami in just a few minutes.

00:21:38.000 Hey, buddy, wake up.

00:21:44.000 It's a good movie.

00:21:46.000 All right.

00:21:48.000 Before we start the show, check out.

00:21:51.000 So Mike Myers is still not giving up.

00:21:56.000 And he's still doing this I'm every character in the movie thing, which is kind of embarrassing.

00:22:01.000 They made fun of it in Tropic Thunder, right?

00:22:03.000 Jack Black.

00:22:05.000 He's mocking Eddie Murphy.

00:22:06.000 This is a great movie written by Justin Thoreau.

00:22:10.000 He's making fun of Eddie Murphy in the, what's it called?

00:22:12.000 Clap?

00:22:13.000 The slap?

00:22:14.000 You know what I'm talking?

00:22:15.000 The Crumps, whatever the fuck they were called?

00:22:17.000 The Clumps.

00:22:18.000 The Clumps.

00:22:19.000 And he's the mom and the granddad.

00:22:21.000 And it's like, the subtext is, this is what an incredible actor I am.

00:22:25.000 Meanwhile, isn't it just a lot of work for a lot of people?

00:22:28.000 They have to reshoot scenes and there's all these stand-ins and shit.

00:22:32.000 Just get actors, okay?

00:22:33.000 I'm proud of you.

00:22:34.000 You can do a lot of characters.

00:22:36.000 Wow.

00:22:38.000 So, wait, I should do one of those.

00:22:40.000 Yeah.

00:22:41.000 He did a flop.

00:22:42.000 He flopped with that movie, The Guru, right?

00:22:45.000 Where he's like, hello, what's going on, buddy?

00:22:47.000 I'm doing the most hack accent in town.

00:22:50.000 And I guess he sort of went, oh, well, everyone peeks.

00:22:53.000 You know, you don't want to keep making garbage when you've lost it.

00:22:58.000 But there's money there because Austin Powers is still one of the most popular movies of all time.

00:23:04.000 So now he's making fun of Alex Jones.

00:23:06.000 And this is what David Cross did this in his movie Clicks, where these elites, these lefty limousine liberals, they just assume that we all laugh at Alex Jones and libertarians are a joke and all these conspiracy theorist people are nuts and they're losers.

00:23:24.000 We like them.

00:23:26.000 Even moderates, they like Alex Jones because he's out there questioning authority and he got Sandy Hook wrong, but he got a lot right.

00:23:35.000 So when we see these conspiracy theorists, we don't go, you're a fucking idiot.

00:23:39.000 We go, okay, well, let me know if you get anything solid.

00:23:42.000 But keep doing that.

00:23:44.000 Keep looking into it.

00:23:46.000 Because I don't think Hillary Clinton killed 80 people, but I think she killed 14.

00:23:52.000 I don't think that there was thermite in the World Trade Center, but I think George Bush let it happen.

00:24:01.000 I think...

00:24:03.000 You want to hear one of my craziest theories?

00:24:05.000 I think God spoke to me this weekend.

00:24:07.000 Interesting.

00:24:09.000 This is one of the more Ryan things my brain has done.

00:24:12.000 The weirdest I get with religion is I think heroin is Satan.

00:24:17.000 And I'm not being metaphorical.

00:24:18.000 I mean, literally, Satan enters your body and destroys your world.

00:24:24.000 And I think that's how you die.

00:24:27.000 He's in there going, just give into it.

00:24:29.000 Just give in.

00:24:31.000 Just sleep.

00:24:32.000 Just embrace it.

00:24:34.000 And often.

00:24:35.000 Take my hand.

00:24:36.000 People ruin friendships because they steal and they steal from their parents and then they pawn shit in.

00:24:41.000 So it's like you're ruining friendships instead of not just you.

00:24:45.000 And junkies become different people.

00:24:47.000 Like Benjamin Cho, the fashion designer, he was a good friend of my wife.

00:24:51.000 And he was like this normal, fun guy.

00:24:53.000 And before he died, I don't know what he did to his throat, but he started to sound well like Alex Jones, actually.

00:25:02.000 And he was more aggressive, and he was threatening to kill himself.

00:25:06.000 You become the devil.

00:25:08.000 Anyway, so this is fucking crazy.

00:25:11.000 And hear me out.

00:25:12.000 But part of this theory isn't based on facts.

00:25:15.000 It's based on what I feel in my heart.

00:25:17.000 So we can't really argue this.

00:25:19.000 I'm at the pub, Kentucky Derby.

00:25:22.000 What was that, Friday?

00:25:25.000 I don't know.

00:25:26.000 Look it up.

00:25:27.000 I think it was Friday.

00:25:28.000 Yeah, it was Friday.

00:25:30.000 And they're showing all the horses.

00:25:32.000 I think there's 21 of them.

00:25:36.000 There's clearly over 20 because the number I'm talking about is 21.

00:25:40.000 And I see this guy and a horse.

00:25:42.000 Little guy.

00:25:43.000 They're quite little, these gentlemen.

00:25:45.000 And I see Woodford Reserve is one of the sponsors.

00:25:50.000 I like Woodford Reserve.

00:25:51.000 Maybe it's my number two right after.

00:25:53.000 Number two.

00:25:54.000 Right after Maker's Mark.

00:25:56.000 And, oh, it must be made in Kentucky.

00:25:59.000 And, oh, it's Kentucky Bourbon, dumbass.

00:26:03.000 It sure is.

00:26:03.000 So I see that on this little thing there on the saddle, and I go, it just pops into my head.

00:26:09.000 I go, 21 is going to win.

00:26:11.000 And then another saying popped into my head, God favors the brave.

00:26:19.000 Jesus Christ.

00:26:21.000 I don't know why I'm coughing.

00:26:22.000 Maybe that's he's telling me not to blab about it.

00:26:24.000 I'm not bragging.

00:26:25.000 I was going to put it on social media and say, God, now I'm literally seeing stars.

00:26:32.000 I come really, really hard.

00:26:35.000 Dude, I'm literally seeing stars right now.

00:26:38.000 Are you being smited?

00:26:40.000 You know when you almost faint or something?

00:26:43.000 Yeah.

00:26:43.000 They're still going.

00:26:45.000 Still going.

00:26:47.000 Still going.

00:26:49.000 Wow.

00:26:49.000 Wait, that's a long star.

00:26:51.000 Yeah, I know.

00:26:52.000 One, two, three.

00:26:54.000 Well, change the subject.

00:26:55.000 See what happens.

00:26:57.000 Oh, that's true.

00:26:57.000 I don't want to change the subject.

00:26:59.000 Okay, well, then we got more stars, probably.

00:27:01.000 Does God see this as bragging?

00:27:04.000 I don't think.

00:27:05.000 I want everyone to know this.

00:27:07.000 Anyway, now, the saying is fortune favors the brave, not God favors the brave.

00:27:14.000 So it was kind of weird that that was in my head.

00:27:18.000 But I'm watching the match, and I didn't get her it, and I didn't bet.

00:27:22.000 I never bet on horses.

00:27:23.000 The odds are 1 and 20.

00:27:24.000 It doesn't seem very good.

00:27:25.000 I prefer 1 and 2.

00:27:28.000 And then I'm watching the thing, and I never said to anyone the thought I had about 21 and God favors the brave.

00:27:35.000 And I'm watching it, and then all of a sudden, 21 out of nowhere just goes and wins the race.

00:27:42.000 What?

00:27:44.000 And I honestly believe it was a message from God.

00:27:47.000 And he was saying, look, I know shit gets hectic.

00:27:49.000 They're ostracizing your children.

00:27:52.000 They're terrorizing you on a daily basis, but you're trying to save the family.

00:27:57.000 You're trying to save Christianity. 0.97

00:27:59.000 You're trying to bring some sense of traditionalism back.

00:28:01.000 You're getting guys to propose and you're getting guys to finally have kids and you're creating life.

00:28:07.000 Keep doing it.

00:28:07.000 Keep doing what you're doing, Gav.

00:28:10.000 He calls me Gav.

00:28:12.000 There he is.

00:28:15.000 And I was like, holy fuck, this is real.

00:28:18.000 And then I brought it up to my wife, and she goes, you might be having a mental breakdown. 0.72

00:28:23.000 I think you're losing your mind.

00:28:25.000 I'm like, oh, that's possible.

00:28:27.000 That's one possibility.

00:28:29.000 Anyway, when you tell the story, then God's like, shut up.

00:28:33.000 Off at a total tangent here.

00:28:35.000 So Mike Myers' new film, completely dialing it in, and he's making fun of conspiracy theorists and Alex Jones.

00:28:45.000 So check out the first link there.

00:28:47.000 Well, they're both in the same link.

00:28:49.000 I'm 1.4.

00:28:53.000 This is grim.

00:28:55.000 I have it, but it's loading.

00:28:57.000 It's stuck.

00:28:58.000 But I did pull it up.

00:29:00.000 Canada fuzzy?

00:29:01.000 No, Canada might be fuzzy.

00:29:03.000 I don't know.

00:29:04.000 I'm talking about the playing grim.

00:29:06.000 Oh.

00:29:08.000 Interesting.

00:29:09.000 I think Netflix has a way to block showing the video.

00:29:16.000 That's weird.

00:29:16.000 Yeah, I'm seeing it.

00:29:18.000 Oh, that's new.

00:29:19.000 Uh-oh.

00:29:20.000 Well, Detective Shitty is always wrong.

00:29:23.000 Well, I see the cursor.

00:29:24.000 I see all the things.

00:29:26.000 All right, we'll just reload this page.

00:29:27.000 This is from Banda video.

00:29:31.000 Okay, look how bad this is.

00:29:33.000 But I hope you have a slightly higher res version.

00:29:36.000 Skip ad.

00:29:38.000 Oh, because you got to see Mike Myers' eyes.

00:29:42.000 He didn't memorize his lines.

00:29:48.000 Not that Mike Myers.

00:29:49.000 This Mike Myers.

00:29:51.000 And he went from genius comedian.

00:29:54.000 First things first.

00:29:55.000 Where's your shit up?

00:29:57.000 I've got a turtlehead Pokémon.

00:30:00.000 To forced establishment propaganda garbage and the worst Alex Jones impression ever.

00:30:05.000 Take a look.

00:30:13.000 Yeah, he's an internet conspiracy guy.

00:30:15.000 He is none other than a squirrel turkey.

00:30:17.000 Let me tell you the truth you won't get from the fake news only when the leaf with the black helicopter came trails from the game street field.

00:30:30.000 They take simple Christian men off the screen and force them in the camp. 1.00

00:30:34.000 Amateur, this is a fucking movie.

00:30:36.000 And you didn't memorize your lines?

00:30:46.000 And it's weird because Alex Jones' son is named Rex.

00:30:49.000 Yeah, and Harrison Smith is a correspondent.

00:31:01.000 Oh no, Mike.

00:31:05.000 That's supposed to be Kumia, obviously.

00:31:13.000 Welcome to Truth Battle.

00:31:15.000 It does kind of look like Kumia.

00:31:18.000 Look, this is weird.

00:31:19.000 Stop.

00:31:20.000 So now they do a thing where they cut off his mouth and show his eyes looking straight at you.

00:31:26.000 And then they do another thing where they cut his eyes and they show his mouth.

00:31:31.000 Update on the Netflix thing.

00:31:33.000 You can see everything.

00:31:34.000 Everything fine.

00:31:35.000 You click resume.

00:31:37.000 Gone.

00:31:38.000 Now I see it on mine.

00:31:40.000 So they have figured out a way to not let me see Netflix.

00:31:46.000 You think censored.tv is banned from Netflix?

00:31:49.000 No, I think that they have an algorithm that defends from having your screen broadcasting something.

00:31:56.000 Mm-hmm.

00:31:57.000 Okay.

00:31:58.000 Okay.

00:32:00.000 I'm sure you...

00:32:01.000 Anyway, click on it.

00:32:03.000 We're discussing the Pentagon's end secret meeting of world leaders known as Smomano's, which takes place in three days in Zurmat, Switzerland, near the matter.

00:32:15.000 But first, let me tell you about Brexit.

00:32:28.000 And you'll be happy too, because you'll get a board.

00:32:38.000 That's you.

00:32:40.000 What, get fired, get in trouble?

00:32:42.000 Yeah, does he have an end-of-the-show catchphrase?

00:32:44.000 I don't believe so.

00:32:48.000 Fuck you! 0.99

00:32:49.000 It's called the American Dream.

00:32:52.000 But if this morning I watched in that same link, 1-4, it showed the trailer below it.

00:33:04.000 It's back.

00:33:05.000 Yeah, click on that.

00:33:07.000 Why are you so dumb?

00:33:09.000 Been kidnapped into the world's oldest and most effective secret society of five men.

00:33:15.000 Lord Lordington, our highest-ranking member, former Australian media bo, Bruce Baldwin, ex-member of Putin's oligarchy, Mishu Ivanov.

00:33:24.000 As Cooper's former manager, Shep Gordon, and it's Warren Buffett, I guess.

00:33:29.000 Can the man on the street opinions come from Twitter now?

00:33:33.000 Please, give me one more chance.

00:33:36.000 Look, there's black women everywhere. 1.00

00:33:38.000 Shep Gordon was a real guy.

00:33:41.000 Yeah, remember Sam Lee made that movie about Supermensch?

00:33:46.000 I'm being sent to Dubrovnik, I repeat.

00:33:49.000 Sent to Dubrovnik.

00:33:51.000 What's the Brovnik? 0.98

00:33:52.000 Is that a euphemism for being probed in your no-no-hole?

00:33:56.000 Your no-no-hole?

00:33:58.000 Within the Pentavert.

00:33:59.000 I got a plan to get you in.

00:34:02.000 When do you have to look at it?

00:34:03.000 So wait, does it turn out that Jones is right?

00:34:05.000 Because there is a Pintavert. 0.98

00:34:08.000 Like, he literally said, yeah, all the things he said was true.

00:34:18.000 No, you were born in your mother's ass. 0.98

00:34:22.000 Well, that's less than kind and impossible.

00:34:27.000 Ew.

00:34:29.000 It's like you're watching someone who's had their funny gland removed.

00:34:34.000 Like you're no-no place and boner and you were born in your mother's ass. 0.99

00:34:40.000 This is juvenile.

00:34:42.000 And I'm fucking juvenile.

00:34:44.000 Are you going to kill me?

00:34:45.000 According to the world, you're already dead.

00:34:48.000 The future of humanity is at stake.

00:34:50.000 No pressure or anything.

00:34:55.000 All right, we have to watch this.

00:34:57.000 Oh, yeah.

00:34:58.000 I would love to watch it.

00:34:59.000 I'd probably like it.

00:35:00.000 I'm probably going to watch this before I watch 2,000 Mules.

00:35:03.000 2,000 Mules, to be totally frank, kind of feels like homework.

00:35:11.000 Did I show you the Wendell thing where he's his favorite book is Star Wars?

00:35:17.000 No.

00:35:19.000 It's 1-5.

00:35:21.000 And this is my becoming my cup of Joe.

00:35:23.000 I think it's the most amusing thing I've ever seen.

00:35:27.000 Kyle Dunnegan's character, where he is a bookworm, is the greatest.

00:35:36.000 My favorite book is Star Wars.

00:35:39.000 What?

00:35:42.000 No reason to see it on film.

00:35:45.000 The imagination is much better than all those goofy special effects.

00:35:51.000 So you've never seen the movie at all?

00:35:53.000 I have seen them in my head.

00:35:57.000 As I read, I imagine wonderful worlds in outer space.

00:36:02.000 Those worlds come to life.

00:36:04.000 I'm there in the middle of the action.

00:36:06.000 There's no need to watch these movies in my eyes.

00:36:14.000 When my imagination can do the job.

00:36:18.000 Is there any book?

00:36:21.000 In Star Wars, do you have yourself as any character in there?

00:36:23.000 Do you imagine yourself in some of these books?

00:36:26.000 Yeah.

00:36:26.000 I do.

00:36:27.000 Stand out.

00:36:28.000 Well, when I'm in a bad mood, I am the evil Darth Vader.

00:36:33.000 And I bring up my laser sword and I castigate it among my soldiers.

00:36:39.000 For I am the evil Darth Vader.

00:36:41.000 But when I'm feeling happy, I'm the fun robot R2T2, who in my head is 19 feet tall.

00:36:56.000 Don't forget Chewbacca.

00:36:58.000 The little tiny dog.

00:37:00.000 Who's friends?

00:37:04.000 Like, I have these notes on my phone, and I'm writing things that just bring me joy.

00:37:10.000 And they're pretty random.

00:37:11.000 Like, one of them, I can just think of this and I feel joy.

00:37:13.000 I remember when my middle child, the 13-year-old, was like six, he was fucking alarmingly into Ghostbusters, especially Slimer.

00:37:22.000 And Ghostbusters came on, and he didn't think anyone could see him.

00:37:25.000 And he was sort of going, you know, the and he was like, like really jazzing out to the fucking drums and who you're going to call.

00:37:37.000 And I know that's not fascinating to you, but to me, every time that image pops in my head, I just smile.

00:37:44.000 And also the idea of Chewbac as a tiny little dog because you've only read the book Star Wars.

00:37:51.000 It just makes me smile every day.

00:37:53.000 All right, let's start the show.

00:37:55.000 Yes.

00:37:56.000 Do you want to hit on the Mets bet real quick?

00:37:59.000 So $820 is an estimate, a guesstimate.

00:38:03.000 It's probably lower than that because they're third place now in the entire world.

00:38:08.000 And though you'd think that would be $1,000, I bet you it's fucking $7.50 or something gay. 1.00

00:38:16.000 I'm always shocked at how low the number is.

00:38:18.000 But yeah.

00:38:21.000 I bought a saint, a fake saint, Jesus Malverde.

00:38:26.000 And all this shit's been happening.

00:38:27.000 It's kind of spooky.

00:38:30.000 All right, let's start the show.

00:38:32.000 Let's...

00:38:34.000 It comes this way.

00:38:47.000 Lots of stuff to talk about today.

00:38:49.000 We've got a lot of racism, a lot of war on kids.

00:38:52.000 We may only get to one of them, I think.

00:38:54.000 I think we should maybe just do the war on kids and save all this racial shit for another day. 0.99

00:38:58.000 But let's start the war on kids interstitial. 0.97

00:39:05.000 How long have we been going for it?

00:39:08.000 We're living in an ageism era where children are seen as human garbage.

00:39:14.000 Regulations to indoctrinate American school children with poisonous and divisive left-wing doctrines.

00:39:25.000 So we found out who leaked the abortion document.

00:39:30.000 It was a pachyderm who was, like everyone guessed, Soda Sonia Sotomayor's aide.

00:39:38.000 We all knew this, didn't we?

00:39:41.000 Person called Amit Jane, clerks for Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor.

00:39:45.000 As a Yale student, Jane blasted Yale for supporting Brett Kavanaugh's nomination.

00:39:51.000 Jane was quoted in a 2017 political piece by Josh Gerstein.

00:39:55.000 Today, Gerstein published the draft SCOTUS opinion on Roe.

00:40:01.000 Badoop bomp.

00:40:03.000 Let's look, see what he looks like.

00:40:06.000 I'm guessing he's a nerd.

00:40:09.000 There he is, the ugly guy with the glasses.

00:40:13.000 Hey, snitch. 0.97

00:40:14.000 So this guy was the, well, maybe we shouldn't shoot the messenger, the guy who got the leak out because the left knows they're about to be slaughtered in the midterms.

00:40:24.000 But again, I'm of this strange view where I don't think that it's bad that this leaked.

00:40:30.000 I think moderate women are annoyed by what abortion has become. 0.99

00:40:37.000 It used to be for emergencies.

00:40:39.000 Now it's birth control.

00:40:40.000 Surely even the moderates go, I don't want it as birth control.

00:40:45.000 And then we're throwing around numbers like 10 months after the baby's born.

00:40:49.000 Like, I think the abortionists have ruined their brand.

00:40:52.000 And if they haven't, they're sure ruining it now.

00:40:55.000 Going to Scalia's house, going to Kavanaugh's house, 1-7, in a new segment we're going to call abortion wars.

00:41:07.000 Here we are.

00:41:11.000 So I don't know which Supreme Court justice they're at, but the left is actually supporting this.

00:41:17.000 They're saying it's awesome.

00:41:21.000 Like the only people I've seen say that's a bit much, guys.

00:41:26.000 Going to a judge's house and screaming, just like Antifa did to Tucker Carlson.

00:41:31.000 This is getting praise from the left.

00:41:32.000 And they're saying, their neighbors, they're poor neighbors.

00:41:35.000 And then others are saying, no, their neighbors are there.

00:41:37.000 The neighbors are the ones who said, we need to do something.

00:41:40.000 We need to fight.

00:41:41.000 By the way, what's a Supreme Court judge going to do when people go to his house, go, oh, shit, I changed my mind.

00:41:48.000 You came to my house.

00:41:51.000 And then we have this pro-life office in Wisconsin that got Molotov cocktailed.

00:41:56.000 And I thought, this is such a perfect example of...

00:42:00.000 Zoom in on the video, Ryan.

00:42:01.000 We don't need to see all this other shit.

00:42:06.000 Perfect example of modern leftist politics.

00:42:08.000 So the ones doing the dirty work, and I'm talking about sub-Amit Jane, I'm talking about Antifa and these crazy sluts that hate the idea of consequences. 1.00

00:42:17.000 They're out there fighting, firebombing, doing all the dirty work, and they have a different political goal.

00:42:23.000 Their goal is like, I want to be able to kill babies whenever.

00:42:26.000 The elites who want these laws, they think blacks are an issue.

00:42:32.000 And they think there's too many blacks in the country.

00:42:35.000 So that's why they want abortion legal, to curb the population.

00:42:41.000 That's not why these activists are doing it.

00:42:44.000 But the elites don't care.

00:42:45.000 They'll feed the fucking lunatic rabies kids with any kind of bullshit just so they'll go out and destroy shit. 1.00

00:42:52.000 Like Antifa, when they attack me at the Metropolitan Club, they were like, we're fighting fascism and Gavin's a fascist.

00:43:01.000 That's what they were told, and that's what they run with.

00:43:03.000 The true answer was that I was making Trump cool and that's not good for them.

00:43:08.000 And they needed to make the right look violent and provoke us into a fight because jobs, not mobs was trending and they were looking too violent.

00:43:18.000 And then we have this went on at St. Patrick's Cathedral here in New York City.

00:43:26.000 And I thought, this is such a great example of the left versus the right.

00:43:30.000 So this fucking absolute lunatic goes up.

00:43:33.000 It's St. Patrick's, right?

00:43:35.000 Yeah.

00:43:36.000 And I don't know what the fuck she's doing. 0.99

00:43:37.000 Do we got volume on that?

00:43:45.000 So she's carrying around a scarf, I guess, full of dead babies.

00:43:51.000 And then writhing in a bathing suit, being gross.

00:43:56.000 And look at that.

00:43:57.000 We love abortion.

00:43:59.000 It's not exactly for emergencies anymore.

00:44:08.000 What is that?

00:44:08.000 Putin's head?

00:44:11.000 Is it a baby?

00:44:15.000 Someone just gave her $100 and said, go as crazy as you can.

00:44:19.000 We need footage.

00:44:20.000 Turn it up.

00:44:31.000 So guess who's in trouble?

00:44:33.000 These Catholic boys for standing their ground.

00:44:36.000 It's the black Hebrew Israelites versus the Cummington Catholic school kids all over again. 0.93

00:44:41.000 Go to the next one.

00:44:41.000 There's more of her on 2-0.

00:44:48.000 So guess who's in trouble here?

00:44:51.000 One of the firemen made a joke about how your body belongs to me.

00:44:56.000 2-0, Ryan?

00:44:57.000 Yeah.

00:44:59.000 Let the fuck you terrorize it! 1.00

00:45:05.000 They terrorize it!

00:45:08.000 That guy, we're about to see more of that guy wearing the America first hat.

00:45:11.000 How dare he want America to be first?

00:45:17.000 So that's just the same thing twice, right?

00:45:19.000 I don't think there's anything new.

00:45:21.000 So anyway, our old buddies are coming out of the crack.

00:45:23.000 Sandy Bockham, the woman who attended a seance where black witches tried to curse Trump.

00:45:31.000 She was there for that.

00:45:32.000 She also appeared in court to get Max and John thrown in prison, have John taken away from his three black children. 0.97

00:45:41.000 So she calls him an anti-abortion extremist, met with pro-choice clinic defenders.

00:45:46.000 This guy's an American first Groiper member of FDMY.

00:45:49.000 The court decided, you lose.

00:45:50.000 You have no choice, not your body, not your choice.

00:45:52.000 Your body's mine, and you're having my baby.

00:45:54.000 And then he says, joke, joke, joke after that.

00:45:57.000 So these people are telling him to fuck off, threatening to destroy the church.

00:46:00.000 They've been destroying churches all over the country.

00:46:03.000 And he says he's slightly rude to one of them.

00:46:06.000 And they're trying to get him fired.

00:46:07.000 Turn it up.

00:46:35.000 Look at that.

00:46:37.000 Joke, joke, joke.

00:46:39.000 He says three times after.

00:46:41.000 They're antagonizing him.

00:46:43.000 He goads them with a silly joke, and they're trying to get him fired.

00:46:46.000 Folks at home, if this guy gets fired from the FDNY for saying a joke, we have to go ballistic.

00:46:54.000 That's going to be my first priority is protecting this dude and protecting his job.

00:47:00.000 That's unacceptable.

00:47:02.000 If these lunatics are allowed to go up to one of the most sacred churches in the country and desecrate it with dead babies and some guy is slightly rude to them and he loses his job, that level of intolerance is intolerable.

00:47:16.000 No fucking way.

00:47:17.000 We have to go on a million campaigns and calls and letters and nothing violent, but look at 2-2.

00:47:26.000 Amy, our old pal Amy Siskind is coming after him.

00:47:31.000 She's had enough.

00:47:32.000 As horrible as his public statements are, as is FDNY, silence.

00:47:37.000 Let's acknowledge that this scumbag is saying out loud what so many Republicans, white men are already thinking and saying in private.

00:47:42.000 This is their plan.

00:47:43.000 It's a joke, Amy.

00:47:45.000 He said the word joke three times.

00:47:49.000 He's laughing at people who want him dead.

00:47:53.000 What's this?

00:47:56.000 Hello?

00:47:57.000 Yeah, Gavin, I'll be good and ready this Thursday.

00:48:01.000 I'm out of pain.

00:48:02.000 Oh, thank God.

00:48:03.000 We missed you for how long now?

00:48:05.000 A month, Sylvia?

00:48:06.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:48:08.000 More than a month.

00:48:10.000 And how do you feel right now at a 10?

00:48:12.000 One to 10?

00:48:14.000 I feel great.

00:48:16.000 Okay, still as horny as ever?

00:48:19.000 Of course.

00:48:21.000 Okay, good.

00:48:22.000 Well, I'll probably pick you up personally or Maddie will on Thursday around 8 o'clock.

00:48:29.000 Okay, great.

00:48:30.000 I'll be ready.

00:48:31.000 All right.

00:48:32.000 Can't wait, babe.

00:48:33.000 Okay, me too.

00:48:34.000 Okay.

00:48:35.000 And wish your wife a belated Mother's Day, baby.

00:48:38.000 Okay, I'll do that.

00:48:40.000 All right.

00:48:40.000 All right, see you.

00:48:41.000 Okay, ciao.

00:48:44.000 I don't think she has any kids.

00:48:46.000 That's Sylvia.

00:48:47.000 She's back.

00:48:49.000 Sylvia.

00:48:51.000 But yeah, they want him to lose his job.

00:48:54.000 And Greg Kelly responded to Amy.

00:49:01.000 Greg Kelly says the FDMY guy was just defending the church.

00:49:04.000 Yeah.

00:49:06.000 Look at her.

00:49:07.000 They're so desperate for the handmaid's tale version of events that when someone makes a joke, they keep quoting it and re-quoting it.

00:49:16.000 Not your body, not your choice.

00:49:17.000 Your body is mine.

00:49:19.000 So now his joke, which got the description joke thrice, is the FDMY's policy.

00:49:26.000 Who the hell is Amy Siskin? 1.00

00:49:28.000 A self-hating white person?

00:49:31.000 No.

00:49:32.000 She doesn't consider herself white.

00:49:33.000 She considers herself Jewish, non-white.

00:49:36.000 She hates men. 0.66

00:49:39.000 She is full of hate.

00:49:41.000 She is a radical lesbian feminist who despises white males.

00:49:49.000 In America, a guy is allowed to stand on a stoop and say whatever he wants.

00:49:53.000 He's a fireman.

00:49:54.000 He's not setting the law.

00:49:55.000 If he's getting some of it wrong, that's okay.

00:49:58.000 He's volunteering to keep you nuts from ruining a church.

00:50:03.000 Yep, that's precisely what's going on.

00:50:05.000 So the pro-lifers are also coming out.

00:50:07.000 Let's compare that black lady with the dead babies in her bathing suit to these pro-lifers protesting. 1.00

00:50:28.000 It's good to see.

00:50:30.000 They look pretty young.

00:50:38.000 They look kind of like radical leftists.

00:50:39.000 Yeah, they do.

00:50:40.000 That's interesting.

00:50:44.000 I mean, they all really super look like radical leftists.

00:50:51.000 Now I'm getting all conspiratorial.

00:50:59.000 Alright, from the war on kids, and this is really the war on babies, to a little bit of racism.

00:51:07.000 Just a little bit.

00:51:12.000 Art on moi.

00:51:16.000 You should...

00:51:16.000 Wait, wait, Ryan, show your new cam.

00:51:19.000 Okay.

00:51:19.000 Ryan has a new angle.

00:51:21.000 We've got a new look here.

00:51:22.000 We spent some money at B ⁇ H, and we got a Sylvia cam for when she's on the couch. 0.95

00:51:27.000 Now it's buffering.

00:51:30.000 What the fuck?

00:51:32.000 What a shit debut this is.

00:51:34.000 It's a shit debut.

00:51:35.000 But it's the rad zone.

00:51:37.000 That doesn't look very rad to me.

00:51:39.000 What happened?

00:51:40.000 I have to...

00:51:41.000 I'm going to just unplug it and plug it back in.

00:51:44.000 Because the GoPro is buffering.

00:51:47.000 It's ironic because I sanctioned the rad zone because I said, when you're looking for a link or you're looking for something, just show this and it'll look cool.

00:51:55.000 Right.

00:51:56.000 And then that becomes something that you can't pull up.

00:51:59.000 Well, you know, we could.

00:52:01.000 Yeah, it's looking rough.

00:52:06.000 Wow.

00:52:06.000 What a cool rad zone.

00:52:09.000 Anyway, let's get to racism.

00:52:11.000 Female, what other different... 1.00

00:52:13.000 What else could I have done to piss you off?

00:52:15.000 Black woman? 1.00

00:52:17.000 It is a dream.

00:52:17.000 This is really inconvenient.

00:52:32.000 So I've noticed that these female activists, their view of race is so simplistic that they don't want to write real books where you break it down, although that older cunt who wrote that book about white fragility managed to make a whole book of it. 1.00

00:52:50.000 But they tend to prefer children's books because their view of race is infantile.

00:52:58.000 So their basic tenet is white people don't like black people and they get everything handed to them and black people have everything taken away from them and that's bad.

00:53:09.000 And then they sell it to teachers by saying, we have a real problem with racism in America, so let's nip it in the bud and start early.

00:53:16.000 That sounds good.

00:53:18.000 But it's just kids being brainwashed to believe things that aren't fucking true.

00:53:24.000 So first, there's this children's book here.

00:53:29.000 I sent you the pic separately of a particular part of it I wanted to show, but if you go to 2.5, you see, yeah, look at this shit.

00:53:36.000 So this is the book.

00:53:37.000 It's called, I don't know, Race for Us or something.

00:53:40.000 We'll get to that in a second.

00:53:42.000 But The Weather Underground's Bill Ayers, he focuses on early childhood education.

00:53:47.000 It's a great department because it's easy to write children's books.

00:53:52.000 You can be a fucking idiot.

00:53:53.000 The lowest IQ PhD you can get is early childhood education.

00:53:57.000 The highest IQ is like physics or mathematics or something.

00:54:01.000 So you can get dumb people to do it and you get to brainwash the youth.

00:54:06.000 And when you brainwash kindergartners, well, you pretty well have an ally for life.

00:54:11.000 And then you can groom them later as a gay, and that's how you can reproduce. 1.00

00:54:16.000 But kids' book, Our Skin in NYC Schools, blames racism on white people.

00:54:23.000 Scroll down.

00:54:26.000 Our skin, a first conversation about race.

00:54:29.000 Look, it took three women to write this fucking retarded book. 1.00

00:54:35.000 That's one of them.

00:54:37.000 Definitely looks like a black dad wasn't around and the white mom full of guilt, right?

00:54:43.000 And then this just sort of plebe who does whatever she's told, probably handles all the logistics and the contracts and everything. 0.96

00:54:50.000 But go back to that initial page, that picture I sent you, it's from the book.

00:54:56.000 A long time ago, way before you were born, a group of white people made up an idea called race.

00:55:03.000 Well, they made up a lot of stuff.

00:55:05.000 They discovered a lot of things and documented it.

00:55:08.000 It's not because they were mean.

00:55:10.000 It's because they were the ones doing the sciencing at the time.

00:55:13.000 They sorted people by skin color and said that white people were better, smarter, prettier, and that they deserve more than everybody else. 0.70

00:55:21.000 Like, that's just a lie.

00:55:25.000 That isn't true or fair at all, but it's a story that has been told for a long time.

00:55:29.000 When people believe this untrue story about race, that's called racism.

00:55:33.000 See, look, he's silencing the black kid, and the white kids are making tons of noise. 0.70

00:55:37.000 Racism is also the things people do and the unfair rules they make about race so that white people get more power and are treated better than everybody else. 0.63

00:55:46.000 Racism happens in lots of big and small ways.

00:55:49.000 It's all around us, even if we don't always notice it.

00:55:54.000 The study, like anthropology has been involved in racial characteristics since the advent of anthropology.

00:56:01.000 It doesn't include who's the prettiest.

00:56:04.000 And if you want to talk smarter, the only people that investigated race in IQ ended up with Asians at the top. 0.99

00:56:11.000 So are they Asian supremacists?

00:56:13.000 There's so many fucking holes in this.

00:56:15.000 Why is it being taught in our schools?

00:56:17.000 I don't think parents know.

00:56:19.000 Thank God for the New York Post.

00:56:22.000 And here's another book.

00:56:24.000 It's not a handbook.

00:56:25.000 It's a fist book because we use it to fight racism.

00:56:29.000 This is another low IQ moron who goes to schools and tells kids his infantile view of the world.

00:56:38.000 This guy does talks.

00:56:39.000 He goes to corporations.

00:56:41.000 His whole thing is teaching white people that they're racist.

00:56:45.000 By the way, a little side note.

00:56:46.000 Isn't it funny how when you read about these, it takes like three women to write the article? 1.00

00:56:53.000 Keep going down.

00:56:55.000 So that, look how shitty the drawings are.

00:56:58.000 It's a fist book for kids.

00:57:01.000 Oh, minor detail, I forgot.

00:57:03.000 It also encourages you to fill out a form and identify the people in your family who are racist.

00:57:09.000 So your racist old grandpa that says the N-word during his dementia spouts is now being reported and is on file.

00:57:19.000 Are we getting Soviet enough yet, folks? 0.89

00:57:21.000 Keep going down.

00:57:23.000 Radical prejudice plus power.

00:57:26.000 No, sorry, racial prejudice plus power equals racism.

00:57:28.000 Look at the black man. 1.00

00:57:29.000 He's being held back.

00:57:31.000 By 100 pounds.

00:57:32.000 By 100 pounds.

00:57:33.000 And the white guy just gets to rock on.

00:57:36.000 So what about like the Lebanese kids who are reading this or the Asian kids?

00:57:40.000 Why is race just two races?

00:57:43.000 It's bizarre.

00:57:45.000 If I'm an Asian kid and I'm reading that, I'm like, am I the cool guy or the guy with the 100 pounds?

00:57:50.000 Or do I just have like 10 pounds?

00:57:52.000 It's actually the reverse is true of this picture.

00:57:58.000 If you're a white person, white privilege is something you were born with, and it simply means that your life is not more difficult due to the color of your skin.

00:58:07.000 But put differently, it's not your fault for having white privilege.

00:58:09.000 But keep going down.

00:58:10.000 I thought there was an interesting point made here.

00:58:13.000 What does racism look like?

00:58:15.000 I don't like black people. 1.00

00:58:16.000 That's overt.

00:58:17.000 Subtle is, why does everything have to be about race?

00:58:20.000 Can we talk about something else?

00:58:21.000 I guess I'm subtle.

00:58:24.000 And then systemic.

00:58:25.000 This is my favorite thing.

00:58:26.000 Black students are half as likely to be placed in advancement placement courses as their white counterparts.

00:58:34.000 Is it possible that black students are to blame?

00:58:37.000 Why are Asian students three times as likely to be placed in advanced placement courses?

00:58:41.000 I wish I could have been in that class and asked that.

00:58:46.000 Is it possible it's based on their performance?

00:58:48.000 Why are white basketball players half as likely to be placed in the NBA?

00:58:54.000 Is it conceivable there's some culpability here?

00:58:56.000 Which brings us to the second check mark.

00:58:59.000 Blacks make up 33% of America's prison population, even though we only represent 13% of our nation's population.

00:59:06.000 Well, the blacks who make up that prison population are mostly black males.

00:59:11.000 So you could probably bring that 13% down to like 7%.

00:59:15.000 And the question is: how often do they appear in the crime stats?

00:59:20.000 Yes, black people get pulled over more than whites, disproportionately more than whites, because they tend to commit more traffic crimes. 1.00

00:59:28.000 From not having their registration to not having insurance to going through a red light to having something wrong with the car, to running over dancing grannies, to running over dancing grannies. 0.85

00:59:38.000 Which brings us to another new segment I like to call, well, it's within the green screen.

00:59:45.000 It's called Blacks Behaving Badly. 1.00

00:59:47.000 So let's go to the green screen first and then I'll introduce it.

01:00:04.000 Wait, don't we have a new background for this?

01:00:09.000 Oh, we have, we can just put racism?

01:00:12.000 I guess we'll do the racism one.

01:00:16.000 Yeah, so this is a new segment I like to call Blacks Behaving Badly. 1.00

01:00:24.000 And while we hear about how horrible it is to be black and how someone clutches your purse on the elevator, or sorry, clutches their own purse on the elevator, it's worth checking in on black behavior, which isn't really showcased in the media very often.

01:00:38.000 You see it on Twitter, much to the far left's chagrin, because they've been hiding all this.

01:00:43.000 But let's just take a look at a month in the life of black America. 0.77

01:00:48.000 Here we are at a glasses store.

01:00:50.000 Now, this is No Bail, San Francisco, I believe.

01:00:54.000 And look how strong that glass is, dude.

01:00:57.000 Nice work.

01:01:00.000 They're just stealing frames, I guess.

01:01:02.000 Frames aren't that expensive.

01:01:04.000 It's the glass, the prescription when you put it in.

01:01:08.000 That's what costs you the money.

01:01:09.000 So that was a local optometrist, local glasses place getting looted and no bail so the kids don't have to worry about it and people are scared to report it now because when you report a crime your name and address is on file but they maintain their privacy so no bail plenty of privacy next here's a wedding getting destroyed just like it's in a sunglasses store glasses shop every

01:05:15.000 i mean and it's it's destroying the less narrative because they have to make cop cops are out there hunting people no there is endless crime endless violence within the black community and it coincides with defunding the police and telling them that they're going to be sued and dropping charges it's not working we're having a societal meltdown this woman is stealing all the meat i Believe, 1.00

01:05:47.000 yeah.

01:05:52.000 Look at that.

01:05:53.000 The woman in the passenger seat is pretending that she's against it.

01:05:57.000 And then what do people do?

01:05:58.000 They grab their phones.

01:06:00.000 I mean, what should you do?

01:06:02.000 Beat her up?

01:06:04.000 You're a woman.

01:06:07.000 So she's pulling at the cart.

01:06:10.000 Emo, your license plate is there?

01:06:11.000 She's not going to get any charges.

01:06:13.000 I bet you.

01:06:14.000 When that woman, that white woman called the police, they said, look, ma'am, it's just, can you just claim it on your insurance?

01:06:22.000 If we go out there, we're not going to be able to prove it.

01:06:25.000 It's going to be a pin.

01:06:26.000 But I have it all on video.

01:06:28.000 Yeah, she'll say it's not her, and the courts will not want to deal with it. 0.51

01:06:32.000 It's just not worth it, ma'am.

01:06:33.000 And then she'll have your name and address.

01:06:37.000 How much meat do you need?

01:06:40.000 Who is she feeding? 1.00

01:06:41.000 A fucking Lion King farm?

01:06:45.000 What?

01:06:46.000 Tiger King, I meant.

01:06:47.000 Tiger King.

01:06:49.000 She's going to Carol Baskin's house for lunch? 0.99

01:06:51.000 Yeah, that would have been way funnier if I said that.

01:06:56.000 Get the license plate.

01:07:01.000 Imagine you tried to block her in with your car.

01:07:04.000 That would be the end of your car.

01:07:07.000 And she's half. 1.00

01:07:08.000 Is that a Cadillac?

01:07:11.000 Nice cars.

01:07:12.000 Wait, what happened?

01:07:13.000 What's next?

01:07:17.000 I think I have a few stealing lots of shits. 0.79

01:07:21.000 Stealing the shit, stealing the meats, stealing the glasses.

01:07:24.000 Fucking up the wedding.

01:07:26.000 What's this one now?

01:07:29.000 Oh, this one's pretty brutal.

01:07:31.000 Is this the last one, Ryan?

01:07:35.000 Is it?

01:07:36.000 No.

01:07:37.000 This is the second to last one.

01:07:40.000 But this should be the last one because this woman is beaten to death on live stream. 1.00

01:07:47.000 They hit her with a tire iron repeatedly. 1.00

01:07:51.000 She's there holding her head.

01:07:52.000 She has a blanket over her head.

01:07:55.000 And they beat her and beat her until she's dead. 0.98

01:08:00.000 You're watching the beginnings.

01:08:02.000 The murder happens much later, but you're watching the beginnings of a live stream murder.

01:08:06.000 Can you imagine if the races were reversed?

01:08:10.000 If a white MAGA guy was beating a black woman to death with a tire iron on Facebook Live or whatever the fuck this is, Instagram Live?

01:08:18.000 What is this, Ryan?

01:08:19.000 Ow. 0.99

01:08:20.000 Looks like Instagram Live.

01:08:22.000 Yeah.

01:08:36.000 Please, she says.

01:08:40.000 So she must be bleeding like a stuck pig underneath all that. 1.00

01:08:45.000 All right, that's enough of that.

01:08:47.000 And finally, what's our last example of blacks behaving badly? 0.99

01:08:53.000 It's considered racist doing this, by the way.

01:08:56.000 To show footage of black people acting out.

01:09:00.000 No, no, that was for post-green screen.

01:09:05.000 But we might as well explain it now.

01:09:07.000 So AI, that's right, robots are in trouble because they've noticed patterns here, the same patterns that everyone's noticing.

01:09:17.000 And here, go to the next slide.

01:09:19.000 So it learns to generate images of white men by default, overly sexualizes images of women, and reinforces racial stereotypes.

01:09:26.000 Next one.

01:09:28.000 Eight out of eight attempts to generate images with words like a man sitting in a prison cell or a photo of an angry man returned images of men of color.

01:09:37.000 So they're sending in these guys to take that out.

01:09:40.000 That's the solution to these negative patterns, is to deny their existence.

01:09:46.000 And that doesn't work.

01:09:48.000 That is Soviet. 0.84

01:09:49.000 That is Chinese. 0.68

01:09:50.000 That is the East. 0.92

01:09:50.000 We're here in the Western world where the free market and meritocracy are supposed to help us find the truth. 0.92

01:09:57.000 If a particular group is behaving badly, let's address it.

01:10:00.000 Hiding it is just going to make it worse.

01:10:16.000 Yeah, I love when AI is known as having a bias.

01:10:24.000 AI is just intelligence.

01:10:30.000 When you say that AI is racist, you mean the world is racist.

01:10:34.000 You're saying that racism is true.

01:10:36.000 It's a dumb thing to say.

01:10:38.000 And when I noticed the, you're asking me, well, Gavin, what do you think is the story behind those patterns?

01:10:45.000 I think that we have a major problem with welfare in this country, and we've shattered the black family. 1.00

01:10:50.000 And fatherlessness is the crux of the problem in the black community. 1.00

01:10:54.000 Now, on top of that, we have the media telling them that everyone's out to get them and they have no chance in this world because of books like the children's books we just showed where they say white people invented race and they think they're smarter and prettier than you and you have a hundred pound weight on your ankle.

01:11:11.000 So early childhood education and the media create this animosity in the country.

01:11:17.000 So you have fatherlessness plus animosity.

01:11:20.000 And then the third factor is we've decided there shall be no justice, no discipline, no law.

01:11:27.000 So you have a lack of discipline throughout life from no father.

01:11:32.000 You have this animosity shoved up your ass where you're told that everyone's out to get you.

01:11:37.000 And then there's no repercussions for your actions.

01:11:41.000 What do you think's going to happen, dummies?

01:11:44.000 All right, let's do the mailbag.

01:11:47.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.

01:11:51.000 Let's turn our eyes together's mailbag.

01:11:57.000 Let me touch it.

01:11:59.000 How's your pathetic rad zone going?

01:12:02.000 Not good still.

01:12:04.000 It's so buffery and shitty.

01:12:06.000 It was just fine before.

01:12:07.000 I think maybe because there's more programs open for the show.

01:12:13.000 It's using Ram.

01:12:15.000 Theory is a little bit more.

01:12:15.000 She always dodge ram.

01:12:18.000 This is from a lady, a lady baby monster who was at the gym on the cardio machines, and she was watching Wendy Williams. 0.99

01:12:27.000 She noticed Wendy's out.

01:12:29.000 She's always got some sort of, she's always taking a mental health day. 0.90

01:12:33.000 I saw a guy on the way to the studio there, just at a, at a, what do you call it, a Toniel's place, pedicurist.

01:12:42.000 And there's some Asian woman there massaging his giant fat feet. 1.00

01:12:46.000 And I thought, is that a dude?

01:12:49.000 And there is a dude there getting his foot massaged and just playing like a, what do you call those things?

01:12:57.000 A switch.

01:12:58.000 Just playing a switch, getting a foot massage.

01:13:01.000 If my dad ever saw me getting a foot massage, he'd rip my head off and stuff it up my ass.

01:13:10.000 Michael Rapapore was taking over the show, and if you go to 2030, you can see him advertising dresses with his fake New York accent.

01:13:22.000 Today's giveaway comes from Stitch Fix.

01:13:26.000 Stitch Fix is a personalized shopping experience for an expert stylist.

01:13:32.000 We'll help you shop on items that match your individual size, your taste, and your price range.

01:13:38.000 Each fix contains five items.

01:13:40.000 Not one, not two, not three, not four.

01:13:42.000 Five items that are shipped right to your door.

01:13:45.000 You keep what you want and you send the rest back.

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01:13:51.000 And you, the studio audience that came out here, it was raining, it was storming.

01:13:55.000 Today, you are getting a $150 gift card.

01:14:05.000 Yeah, how many of them are trying to sell it?

01:14:07.000 Low point for Rapaport.

01:14:10.000 We didn't know he could go lower.

01:14:12.000 Barber shop owner and son.

01:14:14.000 Now I see why your friend had some concerns.

01:14:17.000 And here we have a young man at the barber getting his hair did.

01:14:24.000 Oh, no.

01:14:25.000 Wow.

01:14:26.000 That is dark.

01:14:31.000 I think the barber's gay.

01:14:33.000 If I could undo one thing between this and then the tire iron ransom hostage beating, it would be a tough call.

01:14:40.000 It would probably lay.

01:14:41.000 Ransom hostage.

01:14:42.000 He didn't want any money.

01:14:43.000 He's just murdering her.

01:14:46.000 What if that just kept going back and forth and that was like a proxy war that would happen?

01:14:52.000 What, like a white guy would do it to a black woman? 1.00

01:14:54.000 And just like for every one thing, there would be like a revenge one of that, and it's broadcasted in the future.

01:15:02.000 So it's dark.

01:15:03.000 It's a dark future, but I think it's possible.

01:15:06.000 But we kidnapped Jay-Z.

01:15:10.000 And they're like, well, we kidnapped fucking white guy.

01:15:13.000 They would never do that.

01:15:15.000 White people are the opposite of what they say they are. 0.99

01:15:18.000 It's funny how the police are accused of going around hunting people.

01:15:23.000 I see there's a new HBO show about corrupt cops.

01:15:25.000 But I was talking to a cop this morning at the gym and he said, you know, in the 80s and 90s, when I was a cop, these Puerto Ricans would drive around the Bronx and just jump out and kick the shit out of people, mostly homeless. 0.80

01:15:36.000 But they would just go hunting humans.

01:15:39.000 And not with baseball bats or guns or knives, just their fists.

01:15:42.000 They'd drive around, jump out of the car, beat the living shit out of someone, jump back in and go somewhere else.

01:15:47.000 They were hunting.

01:15:49.000 And the same with that stabbing in D.C. with, what's her name?

01:15:54.000 The black chick and Enrique and the Proud Boys.

01:15:58.000 Those black kids were out hunting with knives.

01:16:01.000 Stabbing old men. 1.00

01:16:03.000 Looking for a mark.

01:16:04.000 Yeah, because he said, I've been waiting for this all night.

01:16:08.000 I know you don't give a shit about the depth trial, but I thought you should know a couple details about Johnny's supposed sexual assault of Amber in Australia, the time when Johnny's finger got blasted off by a vodka bottle.

01:16:17.000 Amber says that he held her down and violated her with a Maker's Mark bottle that had been opened.

01:16:23.000 Now that pussy might have been shredded, but I bet you it tasted like cotton candy. 1.00

01:16:27.000 Your thoughts?

01:16:29.000 It's conceivable you could violate a woman with an unopened maker's mark bottle because it's all smooth edges, right?

01:16:36.000 But the second you remove that wax tip, the opening is one of the harshest bourbon bottle openings available.

01:16:45.000 Much harsher than any other bottle in your shelf.

01:16:48.000 Because the wax peeled it off and it's a very sharp edge.

01:16:52.000 So I don't believe that.

01:16:56.000 Did the Clash invent ska?

01:16:59.000 Says a subhuman baby monster.

01:17:02.000 This is a serious question.

01:17:03.000 I've been listening to the Clash Nonstop since your Clash Day show, and tons of their songs have horns in them.

01:17:08.000 The Right Rote Profile and Rudy Can't Fail both have tons of horns in the song. 0.92

01:17:12.000 Revolution Rock and Rong and Boyo also have horns in the background.

01:17:15.000 Let me know what you think, Honky.

01:17:18.000 Are you fucking kidding me?

01:17:20.000 You're like 30 years off, dumbass.

01:17:23.000 I don't know if you're trying to make me mad or something, but ska was clearly invented in Jamaica in the 50s, maybe even earlier.

01:17:32.000 And when there was a mass exodus to Britain, the Jamaicans declared independence in 1969, I believe.

01:17:40.000 And by 75, they didn't like their country anymore.

01:17:43.000 So they went, they flew en masse to Britain.

01:17:46.000 And there was a big clash of cultures with the Jamaican Yardis and the local Brits. 0.64

01:17:52.000 So they started playing Jamaican music, aka Ska.

01:17:57.000 That can't be a serious question.

01:18:00.000 Okay, here's some pictures of female to male.

01:18:04.000 Do we want to show these?

01:18:05.000 Oh my.

01:18:07.000 God.

01:18:08.000 Okay, not safe for work.

01:18:09.000 Not safe for work, folks.

01:18:11.000 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

01:18:15.000 Wow.

01:18:17.000 Bull's head ham and turkey.

01:18:19.000 That literally looks like a salami roll, but ow.

01:18:25.000 Okay, skip ahead to Doctor Who actor is black, gay, and loves drag.

01:18:33.000 Busy.

01:18:34.000 So first new Doctor Who actor is black, gay, and loves drag. 0.99

01:18:39.000 Yeah, he's actually Scottish from Nigeria, I think, but he's a raging homosexual, not in a Subtle way. 0.91

01:18:46.000 That's the new Doctor Who.

01:18:50.000 The Doctor Who, when I was a kid, was an old white dude with fuzzy hair.

01:18:54.000 He looked like an old hippie. 0.89

01:18:56.000 And now with the get woke, go broke.

01:19:00.000 So, guess what's going to happen to Doctor Who?

01:19:02.000 It's done.

01:19:04.000 All right, this is what I want to end on.

01:19:08.000 Check out Star Trek Was Always Gay. 1.00

01:19:12.000 Greetings, Daddy Santa Gav, and Gav Alfryan.

01:19:15.000 Gay Elfrian. 1.00

01:19:16.000 I'm writing this at midnight, so you don't have to assume I'm drunk because I am.

01:19:21.000 Have you seen the super subtle J6 riot depiction in the really heterosexual new Star Trek show? 0.93

01:19:27.000 Apparently, it leads to World War III, so we have that to look forward to. 1.00

01:19:31.000 Also, he talks about my genital grooming situation.

01:19:34.000 The answer is none.

01:19:36.000 And then he calls me a faggot for not knowing much about cars in the movie Car Guys.

01:19:41.000 I mean, the Car Guys show.

01:19:43.000 But this is really crucial.

01:19:44.000 I've been sent this a few times, and it's amazing.

01:19:47.000 Look what January 6th has wrought.

01:19:50.000 It's a lot like your world today.

01:19:53.000 Recently, I was treated to a glimpse of my future.

01:19:56.000 It was not all I'd hoped.

01:19:59.000 After all, what good is there in knowing your future?

01:20:02.000 A friend of mine asked me that recently, and good acting.

01:20:06.000 Didn't understand what he meant until now.

01:20:12.000 Profound.

01:20:14.000 I've seen my future.

01:20:16.000 Let me show you yours.

01:20:19.000 Our conflict also started with a fight for freedoms.

01:20:22.000 We called it the Second Civil War, then the Eugenics War, and finally, just World War III. 0.52

01:20:29.000 This was our last day.

01:20:31.000 The day the Earth we knew ceased to exist.

01:20:33.000 It began as an eruption in one nation, ended in the eradication of 600,000 species of animals and plants, and 30% of Earth's population.

01:20:45.000 With a nuclear war?

01:20:47.000 Wait a minute.

01:20:48.000 Stop, stop, stop.

01:20:49.000 So there's a nuclear war.

01:20:50.000 Look at that woman. 1.00

01:20:51.000 Oh, my Lord in 17 heavens.

01:20:58.000 They're exactly like us, but with shitty foreheads.

01:21:02.000 The same fashion and everything.

01:21:05.000 Look at the guy in the background overacting.

01:21:08.000 What the fuck?

01:21:10.000 So the insurrection on January 6th led to a bunch of battles, and then there was a nuclear war.

01:21:17.000 And instead of saying 6 billion people were killed, they skip over the dead humans and say 600,000 species of animal.

01:21:26.000 Is that how we register wars now?

01:21:28.000 How many snakes died in World War II?

01:21:31.000 Too many.

01:21:34.000 That's how you gauge wars?

01:21:36.000 Do me a favor.

01:21:37.000 Next time you're talking about the apocalypse, start with the human death toll.

01:21:41.000 And then, sure, tell me about some forests that got blowed up.

01:21:55.000 You'll use competing ideas of liberty to bomb each other to rubble just like we did.

01:21:58.000 And then your last day, just perhaps somewhere all your ends are written as indelibly as mine.

01:22:09.000 But I choose to believe that your destinies are still your own.

01:22:13.000 Maybe that's why I'm here to remind you of the power of possibility.

01:22:21.000 Maybe that's the good in seeing my future.

01:22:23.000 That I might remind you that right up into the very end, life is to be worn gloriously.

01:22:29.000 Because life is to be worn gloriously?

01:22:33.000 What kind of fucking grammar is that?

01:22:35.000 Space grammar.

01:22:44.000 What do you think, baseball head?

01:22:47.000 What do you think, skid mark?

01:22:50.000 Wow, that sucks.

01:22:52.000 That is corny.

01:22:53.000 All right, final video, folks.

01:22:54.000 We're out of time.

01:23:11.000 Some things are just too metaphorically perfect.

01:23:15.000 And this large girl completely obliterating an actual girl really sums up clown world today and what an absolute fucking mess it was.

01:23:30.000 You thought the swimming was a great metaphor when Leah Thomas goes soaring past that girl who was trying to shave an eighth of a second off the world record?

01:23:40.000 Nope.

01:23:41.000 This is absolute perfection.

01:23:46.000 Let's watch another 30 times.

01:23:53.000 Like she's waylaid.

01:23:57.000 He travels with her through the air.

01:24:00.000 Oh, fuck, her ribs are all broken.

01:24:09.000 At least you're a lady. 1.00

01:24:10.000 Who says girls can't skate? 1.00

01:24:13.000 That's the one thing he picked up from chicks is not being good at skateboarding. 1.00

01:24:18.000 Anyway, folks, we're living in some strange times, and they're coming after our kids, they're coming after our babies, and they're lying about it the whole time.

01:24:27.000 So we're on to your bullshit, bullshitters.

01:24:31.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - May 09, 2022

S4E113 - ABORTION WARS

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Summary

Transcript