Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S4E130 - FAMILY FUN

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off Money One with Kevin McGuinness.

00:00:21.000 I don't know when everything was so woe.

00:00:25.000 Why is there a feminine in every TV show? 1.00

00:00:29.000 I can't watch a movie without seeing rainbows.

00:00:34.000 I can't find a male music artist not wearing girl clothes.

00:00:41.000 I got raised in mind.

00:00:43.000 I should be bent on everything.

00:00:46.000 I'm a hateful baby than everything that's going on.

00:00:49.000 Wait till it kicks in.

00:00:50.000 I should believe all women because every girl is a queen. 1.00

00:00:55.000 Tell me something I don't know.

00:00:59.000 Cause wild love are so predictable.

00:01:05.000 He can't see a movie without there being a rainbow in it.

00:01:08.000 What do you got a problem with rainbows?

00:01:10.000 See, that's how they get you.

00:01:13.000 They make it a little thing and they like pronouns.

00:01:15.000 What?

00:01:16.000 You can't say they instead of she? 0.76

00:01:17.000 Is that so hard?

00:01:19.000 And you go, no, it's not so hard.

00:01:21.000 But I'm not going to give you an inch because you're going to take a mile. 0.63

00:01:24.000 Oh, we can't have a drag queen at Fenway Park throw the opening pitch. 1.00

00:01:30.000 Is that a crime?

00:01:33.000 No, it's not a crime.

00:01:34.000 I don't care that the person throwing the pitch has makeup on and is dressing as a lady. 1.00

00:01:39.000 But I don't really like the people you're inviting to baseball games.

00:01:42.000 You want to see who threw the first pitch at Fenway?

00:01:44.000 Go to 12AA.

00:01:48.000 This is the slippery slope.

00:01:50.000 We give them an inch.

00:01:51.000 We say you can throw a pitch.

00:01:52.000 And then this is the mile they take.

00:01:57.000 What?

00:02:00.000 See why we're mad?

00:02:02.000 And baseball is a very American pastime, right?

00:02:05.000 Everything about it is great, but it's also very kid-oriented.

00:02:08.000 Like you go to City Field, and the kids go up and they can bat.

00:02:13.000 They hit this ball and these little wiffle balls and win a prize.

00:02:19.000 That's why you get so angry when baseball players chew tobacco or do drugs or get caught drunk driving.

00:02:25.000 It's a bad example for the kids.

00:02:28.000 That's why we get mad.

00:02:29.000 We get madder than the CEO of Nike getting caught doing drugs.

00:02:35.000 Happy pride.

00:02:36.000 Show me your dick. 1.00

00:02:40.000 We're living in a fucking crazy time.

00:02:44.000 Gays have all, gay culture, I shouldn't say has always, but gay culture sort of post-AIDS, maybe even during AIDS, has always been about how we fuck. 0.97

00:02:55.000 Not the music we like or what kind of food we make, like other cultures, but how we fuck. 0.95

00:03:02.000 And you know what we did?

00:03:02.000 We said, fine.

00:03:04.000 You fuck weird.

00:03:05.000 Bye.

00:03:05.000 A lot of straits fuck up the ass too.

00:03:08.000 A lot of straits do suck as many dicks as you. 1.00

00:03:10.000 Okay.

00:03:12.000 Bye.

00:03:13.000 Don't come near kids.

00:03:14.000 And then they start invading kids.

00:03:16.000 And then we go, I don't like this.

00:03:19.000 So the stadium had the green monster and the gay monster in the stadium at one time. 1.00

00:03:25.000 It's amazing.

00:03:26.000 We got a lot of shit to talk about today.

00:03:29.000 I saw Camus Bell's special.

00:03:31.000 I thought it was new, but it's the ancient Chinese secret.

00:03:33.000 But it's so woke and it's so embarrassing.

00:03:36.000 And I realized, we talked about this the other night, that it's a form of samboism.

00:03:43.000 What?

00:03:43.000 What are you talking about?

00:03:44.000 You're calling him Sambo?

00:03:46.000 Well, it's not sincere.

00:03:48.000 It's not merit-based.

00:03:49.000 It's not funny.

00:03:51.000 Being a black man, married to a white woman, of course, and bitching about the alt-right and Nazis and how boring it is that everyone's racist, that doesn't appeal to blacks.

00:04:01.000 It doesn't appeal to men.

00:04:04.000 White women and other women, mostly white women, and here I am doing a Bill Berth shitting on white women, they seem to like it for some reason. 1.00

00:04:13.000 I guess they feel cool.

00:04:14.000 Maybe they're more prone to guilt than men, white men.

00:04:19.000 So when blacks go, you guys are racist, everything's racist.

00:04:22.000 Most men with a normal level of testosterone, you know, above Ryan levels.

00:04:26.000 How dare you?

00:04:27.000 They just go, yeah, shut up.

00:04:28.000 Fuck off.

00:04:29.000 But girls, not only do they take the bait, but they like basking in it, which is weird. 0.92

00:04:38.000 So I don't blame Camus and other black guys for going, I'm going to make money off of this. 1.00

00:04:41.000 This will be my job.

00:04:43.000 I'll perform comedy for white women. 1.00

00:04:45.000 I'll pretend that my life has been a racist hellhole and there's Nazis everywhere.

00:04:50.000 And women will go, I like that. 1.00

00:04:53.000 Ladies, why do you like that? 1.00

00:04:56.000 What is the joy in the self-flagellation?

00:05:00.000 Is it the sexual kink?

00:05:02.000 Remember I told you my local message board, like in my town, there was this guy who was a serial rapist, basically.

00:05:11.000 He was a corrections officer that would fuck the inmates, and that's considered rape because they don't have a choice.

00:05:16.000 Reuben something.

00:05:20.000 And he would get on there and he'd talk about black oppression stuff in this all-white neighborhood in Westchester. 0.57

00:05:27.000 Yeah, and of course they fall for it.

00:05:28.000 And they're like, you're right.

00:05:30.000 We're so evil.

00:05:31.000 We're so disgusting.

00:05:32.000 And he would talk about how this is who we are.

00:05:36.000 And this message board is for things like, I have an extra Ottoman if anyone would want one. 1.00

00:05:41.000 And then he's on there talking about fucking this, another black kid died today at the police's hands.

00:05:47.000 This is who we are.

00:05:48.000 And they would all agree.

00:05:50.000 So then some nosy mom whose dad is a cop didn't like the abuse. 1.00

00:05:56.000 She had enough, I don't know what, oomph, testosterone to say, yeah, no, no, I don't like this guy.

00:06:03.000 And it's weird that she talks about how hard he works, but he's on this message board.

00:06:07.000 So she discovers that he's a corrections officer that fucks people.

00:06:10.000 So she accuses him of it.

00:06:12.000 And then all the other women are like, that is disgusting. 1.00

00:06:16.000 How did you better know what you're talking about if you're going to throw on that allegation?

00:06:19.000 Look up Ruben.

00:06:21.000 I think it's Ilha, corrections officer.

00:06:23.000 I've told this story before.

00:06:25.000 And so you assume he's going to deny it, but it's true. 0.94

00:06:29.000 So he Puts a post called Extreme Ownership and owns what he did and how he's grown as a person from his mistakes and blah blah blah.

00:06:41.000 And then, guess what the reaction is from the Karens? 0.97

00:06:44.000 They go, You are so brave.

00:06:49.000 And I was saying it to a buddy of mine who works at Fox News.

00:06:52.000 And I was like, Look at this.

00:06:54.000 I told him what I just told you.

00:06:55.000 And he goes, It's sexual.

00:06:57.000 It's like they want to be raped by him.

00:06:59.000 It's a kink. 0.92

00:07:00.000 They like abuse.

00:07:02.000 It's a perverted fetish.

00:07:05.000 So Camu Bell's comedy show that we'll watch in a bit, in a way, and this is just a theory, is like a weird black sexual fetish where he abuses them and they giggle. 0.88

00:07:19.000 Okay.

00:07:22.000 What we should really be talking about, though, is more important subjects.

00:07:26.000 Before we get to the one, I have one piece of heavy news that's in the opening.

00:07:31.000 But someone sent me a bunch of cool get off my lawn AI.

00:07:35.000 My new favorite artist is AI.

00:07:37.000 I used to like Francis Bacon.

00:07:39.000 I used to like Ralph Stedman.

00:07:41.000 Their AI is better.

00:07:44.000 I can't believe I'm fucking saying that.

00:07:46.000 My favorite artist is AI.

00:07:48.000 I don't know how they do it, but I want everything I see I want in my house on the wall.

00:07:55.000 That's the bird which is the bald eagle.

00:07:58.000 Like, wait a minute, is this God?

00:08:01.000 Now, the guy who sent me these, I think he made them, or, you know, whatever making them is.

00:08:07.000 But it seems like the base face he used for me isn't my face.

00:08:10.000 Like, that's not what my nose looks like.

00:08:11.000 I wish it was.

00:08:12.000 I got this faggot little button nose. 1.00

00:08:16.000 This was called Body Shot of Gavin McInnes as the president holding the bird, the bald eagle Ralph Stebman.

00:08:24.000 Oh, you threw in Ralph Stebman.

00:08:26.000 Interesting.

00:08:26.000 The last one was beautiful bald eagle hyperrealistic photography.

00:08:36.000 Show me more.

00:08:38.000 All right.

00:08:39.000 What's this one called?

00:08:40.000 Full-body portrait of Gavin McInnes as president shaking hands with again a giant bald eagle by Francis Bacon Ralph Steadman.

00:08:52.000 Oh, cool.

00:08:54.000 The computer has outdone Ralph and Francis.

00:08:57.000 And I wish, by the way, I wish I was sitting here going, you know, we always talk about computers being better, but you'll never beat the freshly drawn hand ink splatters of Ralph Steadman or the brushstrokes of Francis Bacon.

00:09:11.000 No computer will ever learn that.

00:09:13.000 It's like love and humor.

00:09:15.000 It's the one thing, art they can't get.

00:09:17.000 Oh, actually, they can.

00:09:19.000 This is better than Frank and Ralph.

00:09:24.000 It's almost endearing how off it is sometimes, but how close it is.

00:09:30.000 It's the perfect amount of flub.

00:09:33.000 Yeah.

00:09:35.000 What's this one called?

00:09:36.000 Is that Picasso?

00:09:38.000 It's got a ring Van Gogh to it, yeah.

00:09:40.000 All right, so this is Gavin McInnis as the president shaking hands with a giant bald eagle, Vincent Van Gogh.

00:09:47.000 So it knows how to do styles, too, which is pretty wild.

00:09:51.000 This one is full body shot, Gavin McInnes president, bald eagle, Ralph Stedman, Francis Bacon.

00:09:57.000 Okay, another one.

00:09:58.000 Beautiful.

00:10:00.000 Like, beautiful.

00:10:01.000 I want to make this my passport photo.

00:10:06.000 We can make shirts.

00:10:07.000 I'd wear that.

00:10:09.000 What the fuck?

00:10:10.000 See, the nose isn't my nose.

00:10:12.000 No.

00:10:14.000 Alright, you're the president of the United States posing for a selfie with the giant bald eagle patriotic detail.

00:10:22.000 Anyway, that's cool.

00:10:25.000 There's a couple more, too.

00:10:27.000 That.

00:10:28.000 That.

00:10:28.000 That's insane.

00:10:30.000 That's awesome.

00:10:31.000 That's one of my favorites.

00:10:33.000 That's awesome.

00:10:33.000 What's that called?

00:10:35.000 A giant bald eagle is fighting another man city streets realistic photo high.

00:10:43.000 All right, let's start the show.

00:10:44.000 We've got too much to do here.

00:10:46.000 So I face this way, right?

00:10:48.000 That's correct.

00:10:49.000 Starting the show.

00:10:50.000 No more fucking around.

00:10:51.000 Let's get down to the best end.

00:11:02.000 And then, sort of a weird thing about this show, we do the start the show, but then we have to do the interstitial of the subject we're talking about.

00:11:09.000 So we've decided to start with feminism. 1.00

00:11:12.000 We are the storm, the very form of change that the world has been waiting for.

00:11:21.000 You said I was too pretty to fight.

00:11:26.000 That's toxic masculinity if you don't realize how your behavior is.

00:11:31.000 We've got to get to the Proud Boys soon.

00:11:32.000 I know some of you are sick of it, but holy shit, the shit is hitting the fan.

00:11:35.000 And if they went to court tomorrow, it would be 15 to 20 years.

00:11:41.000 Would you kill yourself if you were going to go to prison for 20 years?

00:11:44.000 No.

00:11:46.000 But it would suck.

00:11:49.000 Because my first thing in my frontal lobe is always fatherhood, right?

00:11:53.000 Yeah.

00:11:53.000 Like, getting divorced, the first thing you think about is, if you're a good human being, what about the kids?

00:12:00.000 How will this hurt the kids?

00:12:01.000 Right.

00:12:02.000 And then with suicide, well, I'm not going to be around for 20 years.

00:12:06.000 But then you think I could send them letters and give advice and make comic books for them and stuff.

00:12:11.000 Why are you jumping to this?

00:12:14.000 You suck at your job.

00:12:15.000 This is the first link.

00:12:17.000 Yeah, but I'm talking about kids and totally unrelated subjects.

00:12:22.000 Okay.

00:12:24.000 So you could still contribute.

00:12:25.000 Gonna go see Max and John soon driving up to say hi.

00:12:31.000 Gonna miss Father's Day, I guess.

00:12:33.000 But then John has missed a lot of Father's Days.

00:12:35.000 His daughter's three.

00:12:37.000 He's never seen her.

00:12:39.000 There was all this COVID shit, and it's hard for Zenoa to get out there.

00:12:43.000 So I'm glad I'm going to be there on Father's Day so I can, you know, ease the pain of him not seeing us.

00:12:52.000 Imagine you get out, your daughter's already four.

00:12:55.000 Four's a little person.

00:12:58.000 Four is like they talk and they walk and They can get themselves a little snack anyway.

00:13:05.000 Yeah, no, that's trying to think of what that was like before having a kid.

00:13:10.000 It was like impossible.

00:13:11.000 So I was like, wow, that's got to suck.

00:13:12.000 It's like, no, that's like an unfathomable pain that I couldn't even fucking do.

00:13:19.000 I would think it would be like losing all your limbs.

00:13:22.000 Right.

00:13:23.000 Like, would you rather be in prison for 20 years or lose 100% of all of your limbs, one, two, three, four, and just be a torso in a chair for the rest of your life?

00:13:34.000 Right.

00:13:35.000 I think I would definitely...

00:13:36.000 I think that's pretty easy.

00:13:38.000 I would go for torso and a chair.

00:13:40.000 They could probably break up something with my mouth where I could like. 0.81

00:13:45.000 Oh, technology in like 20 years, you'll be able to run around.

00:13:48.000 I could talk.

00:13:48.000 I could do this show, no problem.

00:13:50.000 Hey, welcome to the show.

00:13:53.000 I don't know why you talked.

00:13:55.000 Sorry, I don't have any arms, so I can't enunciate as well.

00:13:58.000 I used to use my arms to enunciate.

00:14:00.000 I'm Italian.

00:14:02.000 Yeah.

00:14:03.000 Well, that would be a cruel fate.

00:14:05.000 Well, that was weird about Christopher Hitchens.

00:14:06.000 His fucking, the end of his life, he couldn't talk, and that was his person.

00:14:12.000 That was everything.

00:14:13.000 Him communicating, him conveying his thoughts, him arguing.

00:14:17.000 That was Christopher Hitchens.

00:14:20.000 Anyway, let's dive into some fun shit.

00:14:23.000 I'd like to start the show.

00:14:24.000 The reason I started the show earlier is because we have a lot of fun feminism stuff, but this truly, deeply disturbed me.

00:14:30.000 I have to pretend this woman had garish, horrific sock tits. 1.00

00:14:37.000 Because if she had anything reasonably normal and this beautiful, you can tell she's beautiful by her skin.

00:14:42.000 She's what, like 25?

00:14:44.000 This 25-year-old had fairly good tits and she got fake tits and the mother is, or the grandmother, whatever she is, is condoning it. 1.00

00:14:54.000 It's up there with top surgery.

00:14:57.000 I mean, it's pretty similar.

00:14:59.000 Anyway, go ahead.

00:15:04.000 They're beautiful.

00:15:06.000 I gotta touch them.

00:15:08.000 Oh, they're hard.

00:15:11.000 I hope they get a little soft.

00:15:14.000 They won't.

00:15:15.000 They won't.

00:15:16.000 They'll droop, and then the hard ball will be at the bottom like an orange in a sock.

00:15:22.000 Like, I have to pretend she had cancer or something so I can sleep at night.

00:15:26.000 I hope they get a little soft.

00:15:27.000 I know a girl, a young girl from Vice Days, she had her tit removed, and she got a fake tit, but it didn't have a nipple. 0.99

00:15:35.000 And she was like, should I tattoo a nipple on? 0.99

00:15:38.000 And I go, yeah.

00:15:40.000 Because when you're fucking her, not that I ever would, you just don't want to be distracted.

00:15:47.000 And if there's a tattoo there, I assume you could just tell your brain, that's a nipple.

00:15:53.000 Did you see this?

00:15:54.000 Somebody wrote into Celeb mailbag.

00:15:57.000 So yeah, he's got a video here.

00:15:59.000 It's not safe for work.

00:16:02.000 This chick wanted her tits reduced. 1.00

00:16:05.000 You know how they bomb abortion clinics?

00:16:08.000 We should bomb clinics that reduced tit size.

00:16:11.000 All right, not safe for work.

00:16:12.000 There's tit size.

00:16:14.000 So the stretch marks, like they're very, very deep.

00:16:20.000 Indeed.

00:16:20.000 Gorgeous.

00:16:22.000 What would you like?

00:16:23.000 How would you like them to look if sort of shaped it?

00:16:25.000 Taking away tit meat is not going to get your stretch marks away.

00:16:31.000 If anything, the big size, but now on a smaller tit.

00:16:36.000 From now on, universally, all women who want breast reduction have to talk to me. 0.97

00:16:42.000 And I would suggest you look at my previous cases to know what my judgment will be.

00:16:46.000 If your back is breaking and you cannot find clothes, and if you swim, you hit the bottom of the pool like a brick.

00:16:55.000 I'm open to negotiation.

00:16:56.000 Those.

00:17:00.000 No.

00:17:02.000 President of the world, Gavin McInnes, and co-president Anthony Kumia have decided that no, that is not acceptable.

00:17:11.000 Those big milkers, those are basically perfect.

00:17:14.000 What a fucking bitch. 1.00

00:17:16.000 Wouldn't it be funny if she got harassed? 0.84

00:17:20.000 Death threats.

00:17:22.000 You dare fucking touch those and you will regret it.

00:17:28.000 I thought this was interesting.

00:17:29.000 Remember this Harry and Paul sketch?

00:17:31.000 One of my favorite sketches?

00:17:33.000 Harry and Paul were so good at beginning, middle, end sketches.

00:17:36.000 They were just tied up in a bow at the end.

00:17:38.000 The comic timing was beautiful.

00:17:39.000 I mean, the men were the Francis Bacon and Ralph Stedman of comedy sketches.

00:17:45.000 This is one of my favorites.

00:17:48.000 You could play this.

00:18:11.000 Those are real players.

00:18:12.000 Georgie.

00:18:13.000 Arsenal pretty unlucky to go one down early on, but a great strike by Fabergas.

00:18:21.000 Literally passed it into the back of the net.

00:18:24.000 Typical Arsenal goal.

00:18:28.000 You know another reason I was asking about mistresses the other day?

00:18:31.000 I am getting so far away from women. 1.00

00:18:34.000 Like I always criticize people who don't talk to cops and talk to ex-cons and talk to people on the street and they don't know the working class and they're out of touch and they become sort of...

00:18:43.000 Oh, I just ruined the punchline.

00:18:45.000 Go back?

00:18:46.000 Well, it's just positive.

00:18:48.000 They get out of touch with humanity and that's why they can say like, proud boys are Nazis.

00:18:53.000 And if you support Trump, you're a white supremacist because they don't know any.

00:18:56.000 I'm getting that way with women. 1.00

00:18:59.000 I don't meet any.

00:19:00.000 And when my wife has a bunch of girls over, like, I get the fuck out of there. 1.00

00:19:05.000 Not because I'm scared, but because I want them to have their free lady time and not, I don't want to bother them.

00:19:10.000 So I'm becoming those dudes.

00:19:13.000 You know what's good about when you're married and you're not looking at chicks for that reason? 0.98

00:19:17.000 You get to really enjoy what women have to offer when you're not like it's close to nothing, but it's an angle that's like, hmm, that's retarded. 1.00

00:19:27.000 Yeah, well, when I talk to them at parties and I'm stuck, all I can do now at parties is I go, oh, are you ladies talking about Justin Bieber and Tampons?

00:19:36.000 I make fun of how awkward I am.

00:19:38.000 No, we're talking about Tampon Bieber.

00:19:39.000 It's a combo of both.

00:19:40.000 But it's true, they are talking about their kids and schools and baseball and shit like that.

00:19:46.000 I had a party at Gav's Tab the other night, and Maddie goes, Oh, can I bring over Bill and whatever her name is, his wife?

00:19:54.000 The guy hangs parties with his wife.

00:19:58.000 Like you, why are you bringing your wife to Orlando?

00:20:00.000 Because she's great. 0.58

00:20:02.000 Is she going to bring the baby to the show? 0.96

00:20:05.000 Not to the show, but to Orlando.

00:20:06.000 So she's going to Orlando for a show, and she's not going to the show.

00:20:10.000 Well, we have friends down there.

00:20:12.000 We're going to meet up, like baby friends, friends our age that have babies, and then also they're going to go to do life.

00:20:20.000 Friends.

00:20:20.000 And I have a lot of friends in the Orlando area.

00:20:24.000 There's PBs I know.

00:20:25.000 There's just friends that I've met throughout the years and stuff like that.

00:20:30.000 And then so they're going to go to Disney Springs while we're at...

00:20:32.000 What's Disney Springs?

00:20:34.000 It's not a park.

00:20:35.000 It's just like a Disney hangout.

00:20:37.000 So at the peak of Disney's pedophile accusations, you decided to get on a plane and fly your daughter to Disney?

00:20:43.000 Yeah, well, they don't grope you around. 0.99

00:20:45.000 They just have really shady, satanic messaging.

00:20:48.000 Okay.

00:20:48.000 Well, the good news is she won't remember them.

00:20:50.000 No.

00:20:50.000 Anyway, let's finish this punchline.

00:20:52.000 I've totally destroyed this segment.

00:20:55.000 Literally passed it into the back of the net.

00:20:58.000 Typical Arsenal goal.

00:21:06.000 And Rodney, great start for City.

00:21:09.000 Just what Mancini would have wanted.

00:21:15.000 It's great to see City.

00:21:16.000 Where's the bloke, darling?

00:21:17.000 Yeah, where's the bloat, love?

00:21:19.000 Sorry, what bloke?

00:21:20.000 Bloke we talked to.

00:21:21.000 We chat to about football, love.

00:21:22.000 Where's the bloke?

00:21:23.000 Well, I'm the bloke.

00:21:25.000 No.

00:21:25.000 No, come on, love.

00:21:26.000 Where's the bloke?

00:21:26.000 Where's the bloke, darling?

00:21:27.000 Where's the bloke, love?

00:21:29.000 Honestly, it's only me.

00:21:31.000 Now, don't be silly, darling.

00:21:32.000 Where's the bloke?

00:21:33.000 Where's the bloke, darling?

00:21:34.000 Where's the bloke?

00:21:35.000 It's half-time.

00:21:36.000 We talk to a bloke about football.

00:21:37.000 Where's the bloke?

00:21:38.000 Go and get a bloke, love.

00:21:41.000 Where's the bloke?

00:21:42.000 Where's the bloke, love?

00:21:43.000 Where's the bloke?

00:21:43.000 Get the bloat, love.

00:21:44.000 Get the bloke, darling. 1.00

00:21:45.000 Two sugars.

00:21:48.000 We'll be back after the break.

00:21:53.000 So they don't want to listen to the birds, right?

00:21:56.000 They don't think the bird has anything to say.

00:21:58.000 They only want to talk to the bloke.

00:21:59.000 Well, guess what, geezers? 1.00

00:22:01.000 You're fucking wrong.

00:22:03.000 You're clinically wrong.

00:22:04.000 You're savagely and brutally wrong.

00:22:07.000 The birds have got a lot to say.

00:22:10.000 Just ask Paddy Gonia.

00:22:14.000 There she is.

00:22:15.000 Listen to the fucking birds.

00:22:17.000 Go down.

00:22:20.000 There we are.

00:22:23.000 There we are.

00:22:27.000 The birds have got a lot to say.

00:22:37.000 I love how he thinks he's so hot like our boners are exploding.

00:22:42.000 You know?

00:22:45.000 Like Marilyn Monroe and Jane Mansfield or something in the way they're like, hello.

00:22:49.000 And you're like, oh.

00:22:52.000 You look absurd, dude.

00:22:54.000 What was that move?

00:22:56.000 And in the songs, they know the move.

00:22:59.000 It's so fucking hysterical.

00:23:03.000 Like, it's almost mean.

00:23:05.000 I feel like I'm making fun of him.

00:23:08.000 You're not sexy.

00:23:10.000 You're a clown.

00:23:11.000 Look how serious he is.

00:23:14.000 Oh, oh.

00:23:16.000 Look at the beauty I'm enjoying.

00:23:19.000 Even like his, look at his scraggly, balding hair, too.

00:23:22.000 Even his gay friends are like, when they say like, you're beautiful, they're kind of kidding.

00:23:29.000 Like, they don't have a boner.

00:23:30.000 No one has a boner here, sir.

00:23:38.000 What?

00:23:41.000 It's true.

00:23:42.000 Canaries die in a coal mine.

00:23:44.000 It's a sign you better get out.

00:23:45.000 So they have some stuff to say.

00:23:48.000 Will we choose to listen?

00:23:51.000 That's a monster.

00:23:54.000 Birds hate you, dude.

00:23:58.000 I could just see like two starlings above him rolling their eyes as a turkey vulture rides the thermals puking.

00:24:07.000 Please turd on him. 1.00

00:24:10.000 You know, Aquaman can control fish.

00:24:12.000 If I could control birds, I would begin a mass turting right now.

00:24:23.000 Is this a nightingale?

00:24:26.000 A conferi?

00:24:27.000 What a cuck.

00:24:29.000 That's terrible, that man.

00:24:33.000 Patty Gonia. 0.96

00:24:34.000 This is a popular story going around about a woman who was raped.

00:24:38.000 They had the kid, and then the guy stole the kid.

00:24:42.000 And the court said yes, because he's connected.

00:24:46.000 I don't know.

00:24:47.000 That's pretty fucking connected.

00:24:49.000 That's Joe Biden level connected.

00:24:52.000 What's the video of?

00:24:54.000 Is that an unrelated video?

00:24:55.000 Yeah, of course it is.

00:24:56.000 That's our biggest pet peeve.

00:24:58.000 Woman claims she's... 1.00

00:24:59.000 So go down a bit.

00:25:01.000 Wait, this could be it, yeah.

00:25:05.000 I need the whole story here.

00:25:06.000 Something just does not add up.

00:25:10.000 This is like Saudi Arabian. 0.75

00:25:12.000 It was caused through rape.

00:25:26.000 See, even if it's, even if it's if even if she volunteers, what the word I'm looking for?

00:25:33.000 Consensual.

00:25:34.000 That's statutory rape, 16 and 30. 1.00

00:25:37.000 So maybe that's what she means?

00:25:47.000 Well, yeah, I was enraged too, until I sort of inhaled and exhaled.

00:25:54.000 So she came forward when?

00:25:57.000 Well, 2015.

00:25:58.000 The daughter's 16.

00:25:59.000 So it must have Happened 15 years ago.

00:26:02.000 Right?

00:26:03.000 Lady.

00:26:03.000 Wait, wait, wait.

00:26:04.000 Am I right about that?

00:26:05.000 How old is the girl?

00:26:06.000 When my daughter was five, he found out about her.

00:26:09.000 Right, so she waited at least five years.

00:26:14.000 I don't know.

00:26:15.000 And by the way, thank you, me too.

00:26:16.000 Thank you very much for making me dubious of rape.

00:26:20.000 My entire life, up until the fucking 2000s, if I heard about a rape, I knew there was a bad guy involved.

00:26:28.000 And we wanted to all go kick his ass.

00:26:30.000 Now, the first thing I hear, just like with racist, they ruin that word too.

00:26:36.000 When I hear someone's a racist or a rapist, I go, I need more details.

00:26:42.000 So you ruin the word.

00:26:44.000 And that makes women less safe. 1.00

00:26:45.000 And it makes the victims less reliable.

00:26:48.000 It makes them less victims.

00:26:50.000 So now, if some fucking guy jumps out of a bush with a ski mask on, a knife in his hand, starts raping a screaming woman, you get guys like me, and I presume the jury too, going, well, wait, what happened?

00:27:03.000 This has been fucked with before.

00:27:06.000 You just had to wreck it, didn't you?

00:27:09.000 We had a system here that protected women. 1.00

00:27:11.000 We had a system called the Traditional American Family that kept women on a pedestal and happy and loved. 0.99

00:27:18.000 Their children were loved.

00:27:20.000 Now, what do we have?

00:27:21.000 Nothing.

00:27:21.000 And half of you fuckers, by the way, who said women can do this, women can't do that, you're not having kids.

00:27:27.000 So your version of events ends the bloodline.

00:27:31.000 I can't tell you how many guys I've been talking to recently that just have no intention of having kids.

00:27:37.000 Sean, who came to coach my daughter on her microcorg, not interested in kids.

00:27:42.000 Michael Board had dinner with him last night or on Wednesday night.

00:27:47.000 No intention of kids.

00:27:48.000 The documentary filmmaker who did the Wild Whites, Jessica White documentary with Johnny Knoxville, was talking to him the other day.

00:27:55.000 No intention of kids.

00:27:57.000 And that's like cave days.

00:28:00.000 They escaped a saber-toothed tiger.

00:28:03.000 The plague.

00:28:03.000 All this shit.

00:28:05.000 And it ends with you.

00:28:06.000 No.

00:28:08.000 Don't let it end with you.

00:28:10.000 Don't follow this bullshit plan that these cunts have invented to hurt themselves. 1.00

00:28:17.000 It's masochism.

00:28:18.000 They're fucking miserable.

00:28:20.000 These lonely old cows like Amanda Marcott and all of these bloggers who write about the Proud Boys and how evil they are.

00:28:27.000 They're just mad that these guys are pro-family and pro-West and they've chosen to fetishize blacks and practice weird forms of self-abuse.

00:28:41.000 Speaking of which, Media Matters is on a raping spree. 1.00

00:28:48.000 I love the cannibalism of the left.

00:28:49.000 This is 1.6.

00:28:51.000 I love to see them fuck up.

00:28:53.000 Now, again, I don't know how serious this is, but the radical left are the ones who made up this wide net when it comes to sexual assault.

00:29:03.000 So I'm glad that they have to live by the sword and die by the sword.

00:29:07.000 Freshly resigned Media Matters editor thread alleges that MMFA covered up for a man who preyed on our colleagues.

00:29:13.000 Remember when Morgan Spurlock, the dunce who did 30 Days, the Supersize Me movie?

00:29:20.000 And he outed himself?

00:29:22.000 He me too'd himself and said, I sexually, I was sexually inappropriate to my employees.

00:29:29.000 No one had complained.

00:29:32.000 You wanted to nip something in the bud?

00:29:34.000 What?

00:29:35.000 Anyway, go back to that.

00:29:37.000 Blow it up.

00:29:40.000 Media Matters senior editor Tim Johnson is now former senior editor after resigning from the ostensible media watchdog.

00:29:47.000 And he's got a whole thread explaining his decision.

00:29:50.000 So it's a guy who left because of sexism.

00:29:53.000 He's got to be gay, right? 1.00

00:29:55.000 I'm very fortunate in my circumstance that I did not end up on the street the next day as a consequence of what my former boss did.

00:30:00.000 I bet a lot of people would have.

00:30:02.000 Would I care about getting any type of job reference from anyone there?

00:30:04.000 No.

00:30:05.000 I'd rather rely on my own reputation.

00:30:07.000 I hate all this pussy ambiguity. 1.00

00:30:10.000 My experience has been that the vast, vast majority of past colleagues were wonderful kind.

00:30:16.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:30:16.000 Thanks for that.

00:30:17.000 Good to know.

00:30:18.000 What did he do?

00:30:19.000 Did he grab her ass? 0.99

00:30:20.000 Did he grab her tit?

00:30:21.000 Whose tit did he grab? 1.00

00:30:23.000 No, I think those have all been deleted.

00:30:27.000 So, once again, as KRS1 put it, the ones screaming, keep it real the loudest, are the ones the most full of shit.

00:30:33.000 Remember Kim Fox?

00:30:35.000 She was the frog-like woman who looks like a doad who tried to get the juicy smole story smothered because Michelle Obama told her to, and the Obamas are the mob that run all of America like it's a Reggio de Calabrio. 1.00

00:30:51.000 Her husband, this is 1.5, called the cops on her for beating him.

00:30:59.000 What?

00:31:00.000 I guess you don't have male friends, and I guess you don't have a local bar because imagine that was your buddy, and he walks in the bar.

00:31:10.000 Hey, man, you see the news?

00:31:11.000 I go, yeah, dude.

00:31:15.000 You can't sit here anymore.

00:31:17.000 Why don't you sit outside?

00:31:18.000 Blow it up.

00:31:21.000 Domestic battery to police.

00:31:23.000 I cannot imagine reporting domestic battery from a woman.

00:31:26.000 I know it happens.

00:31:27.000 I'm told it happens.

00:31:29.000 I've heard arguments like, no, dude, you got to get it on paper because she'll accuse you.

00:31:33.000 And you have to show like there has to be a record of you with a black eye or you're going to end up in jail for domestic abuse.

00:31:39.000 I kind of get all that kind of talk.

00:31:40.000 But outside of some sort of political strategy to protect yourself, my wife beating me up? 1.00

00:31:47.000 No.

00:31:49.000 Husband summoned police to her South Suburban home to report she had battered him during a domestic dispute.

00:31:56.000 CWC Chicago has learned the state's attorney's chief investigations...

00:32:01.000 Okay.

00:32:03.000 What?

00:32:04.000 Wait, stop.

00:32:07.000 The state's attorney's chief of investigations, former FBI agent James P. Roach, has abruptly resigned.

00:32:15.000 What's that got to do with anything?

00:32:16.000 Is that him?

00:32:17.000 Is he the state attorney's chief of investigations?

00:32:21.000 Keep going.

00:32:22.000 This is getting weirder by the minute.

00:32:25.000 They responded to the home while I went to the address.

00:32:28.000 There was a domestic, no injuries.

00:32:30.000 Kim and Kelly Fox standing on their home's front steps.

00:32:32.000 Kelly Fox said his wife got mad.

00:32:35.000 Oh, his name is Kelly.

00:32:36.000 God, I hate all these stupid names.

00:32:38.000 Can you just name your kids Mike, please, Black Americans?

00:32:41.000 Kelly said his wife got mad about something that was posted on Facebook that he did.

00:32:47.000 Kim Fox became physical when he refused to leave.

00:32:50.000 She blocked his exit from a bathroom, grabbed his collar, and threw his video game controller. 1.00

00:32:57.000 Is he eight?

00:32:58.000 What am I, 10?

00:32:59.000 He tried to turn on the TV and Kimberly snatched the controller out of his hand and threw the controller? 1.00

00:33:07.000 Did it break?

00:33:09.000 I bet it's got a big piece of tape on it now.

00:33:12.000 I bet the batteries went flying.

00:33:15.000 So he can't play video games and he can't watch TV during a fight.

00:33:19.000 Poor guy.

00:33:20.000 Keep going down?

00:33:22.000 This guy sounds like the largest pussy. 1.00

00:33:24.000 His pussy's even bigger than his wife's. 1.00

00:33:27.000 She overheard what her husband was telling the officer and she said, all that is true. 0.95

00:33:32.000 Kelly said Kim slapped him on his left cheek.

00:33:40.000 Holy fuck, dude.

00:33:41.000 You better find a new bar. 0.88

00:33:42.000 But officers said they did not see redness, swelling, or marks, prompting Kelly to say he just wants to be left alone.

00:33:47.000 Can't see redness on the black man's face.

00:33:50.000 Yeah, you can.

00:33:52.000 Yeah.

00:33:54.000 Let's get a black guy in here and slap him. 1.00

00:33:55.000 Let's do some tests.

00:33:56.000 What are you doing?

00:33:58.000 Calm down, first of all.

00:34:00.000 It's called research, sir.

00:34:01.000 Jesus Christ, you guys are uppity.

00:34:04.000 We're seeing if you get redness from slapping you, okay?

00:34:07.000 If you must know.

00:34:09.000 God.

00:34:11.000 If I was still at Vice, I would go to Libya and buy a slave for $400 because that's how much they cost. 0.97

00:34:18.000 And we'd make them do fun things.

00:34:24.000 She can't come in my personal space and put her hands on me. 1.00

00:34:28.000 He allegedly told the officer, he wanted to make sure someone understands what is happening here, that she's being physically aggressive, and he just wants it to stop.

00:34:36.000 This guy is the biggest pussy I've ever read about in my life. 1.00

00:34:39.000 Kimberly explained that she did put her hands on Kelly, but it was only to help him guide him out of the house.

00:34:43.000 She never slapped him.

00:34:45.000 So the whole controversy, we're going to abandon the remotes.

00:34:48.000 I don't think that's going to make it to trial.

00:34:50.000 But the redness of the face is going to be an issue.

00:34:53.000 I got to see this guy.

00:34:54.000 Can you find an interview with Kelly Fox?

00:34:58.000 And is he the guy he resigned as chief of investigations?

00:35:06.000 What an absolute shit show.

00:35:11.000 Oh, you could see redness on his face.

00:35:13.000 He had light skin.

00:35:15.000 Hey, I want to see video.

00:35:16.000 I want to hear him talk.

00:35:18.000 Hi, I'm Kelly Fox.

00:35:20.000 There's so much hate in the world.

00:35:22.000 I live in an environment where I was trying to play video games and slapping that man.

00:35:27.000 I practiced extreme ownership of my girl name.

00:35:31.000 And then I was trying to, she kept yelling and she slapped me on my left cheek. 1.00

00:35:34.000 And then I tried to watch a TV shift through my roomway.

00:35:39.000 It's unconscionable.

00:35:40.000 I just want people to know what's going on.

00:35:46.000 Germant.

00:35:48.000 The War on Names.

00:35:50.000 The Black American War on Names. 0.65

00:35:53.000 Rarely reported.

00:35:56.000 Yeah, no, this is the same.

00:35:57.000 Listen, that's the dispatcher.

00:35:58.000 This is going to be him to the dispatcher.

00:36:03.000 Don't touch me.

00:36:05.000 Don't touch me.

00:36:07.000 Are there any weapons in my house?

00:36:09.000 No.

00:36:11.000 Anybody been drinking tonight?

00:36:13.000 No.

00:36:13.000 I'm too much of a pussy to drink.

00:36:15.000 We're outside.

00:36:16.000 There's a car phone.

00:36:17.000 You said you see the police?

00:36:19.000 I did.

00:36:20.000 We need just one wine cooler and a skinny margarita.

00:36:25.000 Alcohol-free.

00:36:27.000 I'm having a skinny girl, alcohol-free, skinny girl mark.

00:36:30.000 No duels?

00:36:33.000 O duels is for fools.

00:36:35.000 Get drunk.

00:36:36.000 That's our new motto.

00:36:37.000 That's awesome.

00:36:38.000 Mr. T doing Budweiser commercials.

00:36:42.000 No fucking around.

00:36:43.000 Drive drunk if you have to.

00:36:46.000 Okay, let's get to the green screen and check on Camus.

00:36:49.000 Camus, Camu.

00:36:51.000 Camus Bell.

00:36:53.000 Here you come, sir.

00:37:10.000 I don't like that background.

00:37:13.000 So yeah, watched this last night.

00:37:16.000 I was pretty drunk, and I emailed myself a bunch of things.

00:37:20.000 Something about 14 minutes in.

00:37:23.000 But I might be wrong.

00:37:25.000 This might be hilarious.

00:37:26.000 And drunk me will have to, I'll get drunk tonight and then apologize to you so you can see.

00:37:31.000 Why do you have a punk background?

00:37:34.000 Why do you have that?

00:37:35.000 Why do you do that?

00:37:39.000 Okay.

00:37:40.000 Lots of fans.

00:37:41.000 Now, if you recall, stop.

00:37:43.000 He had a big thing on CNN, a show.

00:37:46.000 Pause, please.

00:37:47.000 It does not pause, but go ahead.

00:37:49.000 He had a show about racism and America's full of hate and blah, blah, fucking blah, which we've realized has no real economy outside of upper-middle-class white women named Karen. 0.69

00:38:03.000 Sorry to Bill Burrett, but that's no, black people don't watch Camus Bell. 1.00

00:38:07.000 They don't watch him on CNN and they don't come to this show.

00:38:10.000 If you see any black people here, they're plants. 1.00

00:38:15.000 So he talked about Proud Boys being racist and the alt-right and the KKK and all of this stuff.

00:38:21.000 You know, they must have an incredible research department over at CNN because they managed to find every single racist in the country.

00:38:28.000 And I think that managed to span about four episodes.

00:38:31.000 Anyway, if you're famous, you can do a comedy thing.

00:38:34.000 You know, fucking Mike Pence could do a comedy tour and people would come.

00:38:38.000 So let's check it out.

00:38:40.000 Drunk Me Said This Sucks.

00:38:44.000 Babysitters and Aunties or that weird neighbor, like, it'll probably be fine.

00:38:49.000 I missed that.

00:38:51.000 But whatever.

00:38:52.000 Yeah, that's how it is when you're a parent.

00:38:54.000 When you're a parent, you have to do things sometimes for your kids, whether you want to or not.

00:39:00.000 That's the joy of parenting.

00:39:02.000 I did not know that.

00:39:03.000 Like, my kids like to go camping.

00:39:05.000 It's not their fault.

00:39:06.000 Their mom is white.

00:39:07.000 All right.

00:39:09.000 That's how she was raised.

00:39:10.000 Dying.

00:39:11.000 Dying with laughter.

00:39:12.000 I got to be honest, as a black man, I just don't feel like it's in my DNA to want to sleep outside on purpose.

00:39:18.000 You just see what I'm saying.

00:39:21.000 It's not, I don't care.

00:39:22.000 Let's go sleep outside for fun.

00:39:24.000 Why would we do that?

00:39:26.000 This is a weird black thing that's kind of racist. 1.00

00:39:29.000 Like, imagine I said black people don't want to camp. 1.00

00:39:31.000 They don't get the concept of being at one with nature and being outside.

00:39:35.000 They're too stupid to understand it.

00:39:37.000 People would, I'd be in big shit.

00:39:40.000 It's sort of like that black comedy where they go, motherfuckers on the Titanic.

00:39:43.000 You got woman and children first? 1.00

00:39:44.000 Fuck that.

00:39:45.000 I'll be like, woman and children last. 1.00

00:39:47.000 I'm getting on that boat.

00:39:49.000 And you go, oh, so you're not brave and you have no honor.

00:39:51.000 Okay.

00:39:52.000 Look how pink I am, dude.

00:39:54.000 Deep pink me.

00:39:55.000 Look at that.

00:39:56.000 I look like I fell asleep outside.

00:40:01.000 All right, go ahead.

00:40:02.000 There's tons of Pendleton and Patagonia ads showing black people camping.

00:40:06.000 I don't know what he's talking about.

00:40:07.000 According to the catalogs that I get every day, black people love camping.

00:40:11.000 Now I look like I ate a rotten squid.

00:40:18.000 So it's either food poisoning or sunburn?

00:40:20.000 Is that what you're trying to tell me?

00:40:22.000 Or I'm Max Headroom?

00:40:26.000 Yep.

00:40:26.000 All right, I'll be a sun.

00:40:28.000 I prefer sunburn.

00:40:32.000 Thank you, that section.

00:40:33.000 Yeah!

00:40:36.000 Like, why would I want to sleep outside?

00:40:38.000 We slept outside the big house for years.

00:40:39.000 Now I have a mortgage on the big house.

00:40:41.000 You see what I'm saying?

00:40:43.000 Slavery jumps in and black people are laughing their heads off. 1.00

00:40:47.000 Wherever you go camping, it's always a feature that your cell phone reception gets much worse.

00:40:52.000 Why would you put those two things together?

00:40:54.000 Let's go out into the forest in the middle of nowhere and my cell phone doesn't work.

00:40:59.000 Nah, nah, nah.

00:41:00.000 Again, as a black man, that makes me real uncomfortable.

00:41:03.000 All right.

00:41:04.000 I got places in my house where my phone goes to three bars.

00:41:06.000 I go, I get the fuck out of here.

00:41:08.000 No.

00:41:09.000 So flexi.

00:41:11.000 Sorry, I can't.

00:41:11.000 Obsessed with their phones and totally reliant on staring at their fucking phones all day.

00:41:16.000 I don't like this racist guy.

00:41:17.000 He's saying a lot of negative stereotypes about African-American people of color.

00:41:21.000 Do the laundry, honey.

00:41:22.000 No, no, no.

00:41:24.000 I don't know what might happen while I'm in there trying to reach you.

00:41:27.000 His background, comedy?

00:41:29.000 What's his background?

00:41:30.000 Did he do comedy and then got the CNN show?

00:41:32.000 Or he got the CNN show and said, I'm going to try comedy?

00:41:35.000 Let me look it up.

00:41:36.000 Because this seems very stiff.

00:41:38.000 Anyway, keep going.

00:41:40.000 Tomorrow.

00:41:44.000 I'm not that kind of person again.

00:41:46.000 I want to live off the grid.

00:41:46.000 I don't want to live off the grid.

00:41:48.000 I want the grid.

00:41:48.000 Oh my God.

00:41:49.000 InfoHid.

00:41:52.000 I want the grid.

00:41:53.000 Oh my God, InfoHid.

00:41:54.000 America's stand-up comic and television host.

00:41:57.000 He was hosting the CNN series United States of America since 2016.

00:42:05.000 Was it comedy first or CNN first?

00:42:08.000 Well, Czech career.

00:42:10.000 After establishing himself as a socio-political comedian and community activist based in San Francisco, Bell became a founding member of the comedy collective Laughter Against the Machine.

00:42:21.000 I have been featured in a number of prominent podcasts and publications.

00:42:24.000 Okay, that's enough.

00:42:25.000 Okay.

00:42:27.000 This is boring.

00:42:29.000 I want my phone to have all charged up, all the bars, all the apps ready to go, all the news apps.

00:42:34.000 You know what's going on.

00:42:35.000 I need to know everything at all times.

00:42:36.000 I got an app on my phone that just says, run, nigga, run. 1.00

00:42:39.000 Oh, shit.

00:42:41.000 Oh, shit.

00:42:42.000 What?

00:42:42.000 I don't get that.

00:42:43.000 It doesn't even say why.

00:42:46.000 It doesn't want to scare me.

00:42:47.000 It just says, run, nigga, run. 1.00

00:42:49.000 They love when they hear the N-word because it's such a forbidden fruit.

00:42:54.000 And then when they hear it in a context that's acceptable, it just, ah, heaven.

00:42:59.000 I'm hanging out with a black guy and he's saying the worst word in the English language to me as a friend because we're like this.

00:43:07.000 All I had to do was pay 60 bucks.

00:43:09.000 That's a superpower.

00:43:10.000 Like if you're hanging out with the human torch and he does fire shit, you're like, woo. 0.85

00:43:13.000 I don't like that word usually, but when my black friend Camus Bell says it when we're hanging out, I think it's funny and I laugh my head off because I'm with my own. 0.99

00:43:23.000 This is everyone at the New York Times, by the way.

00:43:25.000 This is the New York Times.

00:43:27.000 Doesn't want to get me nervous.

00:43:28.000 I got high blood pressure.

00:43:29.000 I said I'm black.

00:43:30.000 What do I got to say?

00:43:33.000 Then eventually he just says, stop, nigga, stop.

00:43:35.000 Oh, good.

00:43:37.000 You good, nigga. 1.00

00:43:37.000 You good. 1.00

00:43:38.000 Okay.

00:43:40.000 Happens about three times a week.

00:43:42.000 That's how I got here.

00:43:43.000 Did you notice he started out being a dad and went to being a black man within less than a minute?

00:43:49.000 And now he's nigger this and nigger that. 1.00

00:43:52.000 It's much their uprising supplies.

00:43:56.000 What the fuck did I just say?

00:43:58.000 I want to say much of their chagrin, but I mean the opposite of that.

00:44:00.000 So I change it to uprising applause.

00:44:04.000 Run, nigger, run. 1.00

00:44:05.000 Oh, shit.

00:44:06.000 Hi, I'm shit.

00:44:06.000 That's special right there.

00:44:08.000 All right.

00:44:10.000 That is a very dandruff brave outfit.

00:44:13.000 I would be covered in flakes if I had that.

00:44:17.000 There's some tension in the audience.

00:44:19.000 Could a dandruff flake make it out of there?

00:44:23.000 It's kind of an obstacle course.

00:44:26.000 Why does your phone have to call you a nigger?

00:44:30.000 Jesus, dude.

00:44:31.000 I'm uncomfortable.

00:44:33.000 Your phone have to go.

00:44:36.000 And I'm smiling.

00:44:37.000 Because run, black man, run, doesn't sound that serious.

00:44:40.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:44:42.000 Sounds like it's a girl.

00:44:43.000 I wasn't asking that.

00:44:44.000 I was asking what the app is and what world this joke exists in.

00:44:48.000 Right.

00:44:48.000 I don't understand.

00:44:50.000 You're always in danger.

00:44:51.000 You're fucking rich.

00:44:52.000 I think his parents are academics.

00:44:55.000 Married to a white woman.

00:44:56.000 Everything's fine.

00:44:57.000 Okay, jump ahead to 14.

00:44:59.000 Drunk King said something about 14 is bad.

00:45:02.000 Berkeley versus the alt-right.

00:45:03.000 Berkeley is fighting.

00:45:04.000 There we go.

00:45:05.000 So we even go a little bit before that.

00:45:07.000 So every few weeks.

00:45:08.000 If they had a girl, they would call her. 0.93

00:45:09.000 That's the best way to.

00:45:11.000 Yeah.

00:45:11.000 That's the best way to explain it.

00:45:13.000 That's what it boils down to.

00:45:14.000 If I had to bottom line it.

00:45:19.000 So every few weeks, the alt-right would show up in Berkeley and start fights.

00:45:23.000 And people in the media, which is hard for me because I work in the media, would be like, Berkeley versus the alt-right.

00:45:28.000 Berkeley is fighting the alt-right in the streets.

00:45:30.000 Look at Berkeley fighting with the alt-I was like, I live in Berkeley.

00:45:34.000 Berkeley is not fighting the alt-right in the streets.

00:45:37.000 Now, here's how it works: the alt-right puts out flyers and they get online, they create graphics and tweet and Facebook about that they're going to have a fight in Berkeley on like a Saturday.

00:45:49.000 Whoa.

00:45:50.000 This is just a lie.

00:45:51.000 This is patently false.

00:45:54.000 Every few months at Berkeley, the school, not the town, there'd be an Ann Coulter talk or something like that.

00:46:02.000 And someone would show up and Antifa would go absolutely fucking nuts and burn everything down.

00:46:09.000 Sometimes Proud Boys would show up and protect her and stop them from beating the shit out of her.

00:46:16.000 They did this with Milo Yiannopoulos when Milo was going to come down.

00:46:19.000 And you can tell that he thinks Ann Coulter, Milo Yiannopoulos are Nazis and they came there to fight.

00:46:25.000 Milo didn't go to Berkeley to fight.

00:46:28.000 Ann didn't go to fight. 0.99

00:46:30.000 And I didn't go to Berkeley to fight.

00:46:32.000 I went there to read Ann's speech because she was banned from Berkeley campus. 0.78

00:46:36.000 Berkeley, the harbingers of free speech.

00:46:38.000 Remember the 1960s black and white photos with free speech on a big fucking banner?

00:46:44.000 That's Berkeley.

00:46:45.000 Now in his world, he's changed it into, hey, let's have our annual fight.

00:46:51.000 No, not our fucking quarterly fight at Berkeley.

00:46:55.000 Look at all the people causing the violence there.

00:46:58.000 And then she's the one who got pepper sprayed in the face. 0.99

00:47:00.000 I think it's about to happen.

00:47:03.000 Yep.

00:47:04.000 So that's the alt-right coming for a fight?

00:47:08.000 Good suggestion, drunk me.

00:47:11.000 You nailed it.

00:47:12.000 Look at the heads leaning like this.

00:47:16.000 Like gathering information.

00:47:18.000 Oh, is Eddie Gowd doing a talk about the myths and the legends?

00:47:22.000 You can see how many leaning heads there are.

00:47:24.000 So every few weeks, the alt-right would show up in Berkeley and start fights.

00:47:28.000 And people in the media, which is hard for me because I work in the media, would be like, Berkeley versus the alt-right.

00:47:33.000 Berkeley is fighting the alt-right in the streets.

00:47:35.000 Look at Berkeley fighting with the alt-I was like, I live in Berkeley.

00:47:39.000 Berkeley is not fighting the alt-right in the streets.

00:47:42.000 Now, here's how it works.

00:47:44.000 The alt-right puts out flyers and they get online.

00:47:47.000 They create graphics and tweet and Facebook about that they're going to have a fight in Berkeley on Saturday.

00:47:52.000 Show me what.

00:47:54.000 Hey, everyone.

00:47:54.000 We're the alt-right.

00:47:55.000 We're going to have a fight this Saturday at Berkeley.

00:47:58.000 That's as retarded as his stupid N-word app. 0.99

00:48:02.000 This is just dumb lies.

00:48:04.000 Talk about a straw man argument.

00:48:08.000 Berkeley, people who like to fight are like, do you want to fight in Berkeley this weekend?

00:48:13.000 Sure, I'd like to fight this weekend.

00:48:14.000 What's it about?

00:48:14.000 I don't give a shit.

00:48:15.000 I just want to hit somebody.

00:48:16.000 Yeah.

00:48:17.000 And they should stop.

00:48:19.000 The people who were there were Berkeley students and Antifa.

00:48:25.000 Because Milo was going to talk and they're against free speech.

00:48:29.000 It was Berkeley versus the alt-right.

00:48:31.000 The alt-right is fighting in the streets.

00:48:32.000 It's like, no, it's not Berkeley.

00:48:34.000 Do you know how it affected the residents of Berkeley when the alt-right showed up the first time?

00:48:37.000 This is how the residents of Berkeley were affected.

00:48:39.000 It canceled the farmers markets.

00:48:43.000 That's how Berkeley was affected.

00:48:45.000 There was white women in yoga pants standing at the fight going, that's your audience, dude. 1.00

00:48:52.000 How the fuck am I supposed to get my tail?

00:48:56.000 What am I supposed to get it from Whole Foods like I'm a goddamn refugee?

00:48:59.000 Is that what I'm supposed to do?

00:49:00.000 Dude, that's your wife. 1.00

00:49:01.000 And every single person in the audience.

00:49:03.000 They're doing their best.

00:49:04.000 They're showing up to your shitty show, laughing.

00:49:06.000 They're sitting there getting laughed at.

00:49:08.000 They're laughing at how corny they are and how pampered they are with their farmers' markets.

00:49:23.000 Carrying yoga mats wrapped in plastic, never been used.

00:49:26.000 No, that's not a thing.

00:49:30.000 None of anything he says is a thing.

00:49:33.000 This special should be called, That's Not a Thing.

00:49:37.000 There's no N-word app.

00:49:40.000 We're told you camp, so you're, I guess someone's lying to us about that.

00:49:44.000 Alt-right planning fights at Berkeley is not a thing.

00:49:48.000 I don't even believe you that the farmer's market was canceled.

00:49:50.000 That's probably made up too.

00:49:53.000 The alt-right.

00:49:53.000 And then what happens is that all these D-list right-wing celebrities showed up in Berkeley to take advantage of the moment so they could get some press.

00:50:01.000 And so then you got like Ann Coulter and Milo Ionopoulos showing up, and they had speeches at Berkeley, but they didn't give the speeches because when they showed up, the alt-right showed up and there's fights in the streets.

00:50:11.000 And the police are like, we can't have this.

00:50:13.000 This is not safe for our students.

00:50:14.000 We're like, I got to get to class.

00:50:16.000 Stop.

00:50:18.000 Stop.

00:50:18.000 Could that be farther from the fucking truth, please?

00:50:21.000 Ann Coulter didn't get on a plane.

00:50:24.000 Ann Coulter had a planned speech.

00:50:27.000 She was told she can't go.

00:50:29.000 I said, I'll go, but you won't be allowed.

00:50:32.000 I'll go.

00:50:33.000 Give me your speech.

00:50:34.000 I'll print it out.

00:50:35.000 I'll fly down there.

00:50:36.000 Proud boys would just set up speakers and I'll yell it out on a mic, get through as much as I can until I get chased off by security.

00:50:44.000 And that's exactly what happened.

00:50:45.000 In fact, that picture where I'm like this going, Uhuru, that's Proud Boys escorting me away from security who were right behind them chasing us off the campus.

00:50:55.000 That's no alt-right planning a fight.

00:50:57.000 That is free speech getting banned and a D-list celebrity saying, I'm not going to let it get banned.

00:51:03.000 I'm going to get that speech read.

00:51:05.000 It was a particularly raunchy speech, by the way.

00:51:07.000 It was like, thanks a lot, Ann.

00:51:08.000 This one's fucking over the top.

00:51:11.000 That's one story, beginning, middle, and end.

00:51:14.000 And then the other story is Milo planned to come.

00:51:18.000 There was huge protest.

00:51:19.000 They said, she can't come.

00:51:21.000 Unlike the Ann Coulter thing, they didn't ban her.

00:51:25.000 So he did get on a plane.

00:51:27.000 And then the students and the radical left, NTFA, all the same thing, really, started burning down the campus.

00:51:37.000 And by the way, in a nation where there's free speech, you don't let people who burn things and throw barricades into windows stop a speech.

00:51:45.000 That's what the police are for.

00:51:46.000 That's what the National Guard is for.

00:51:48.000 You have to make the speech happen.

00:51:50.000 It's free speech at all costs.

00:51:52.000 Sorry.

00:51:54.000 And that concept is foreign to him, by the way.

00:51:57.000 Like when, remember when the, this is similar, But it's not really free speech.

00:52:01.000 That is free speech.

00:52:02.000 Remember the interview, that really corny movie that mocked Kim Jong-un?

00:52:06.000 There was a rumor that there was a death threat and they were going to blow up a cinema.

00:52:11.000 It was a rumor that Kim Jong-un was offended and his communist terrorists are going to fight back.

00:52:16.000 That's fuck no.

00:52:19.000 So, what do you do as president?

00:52:20.000 I'm president of the world.

00:52:23.000 We have the National Guard there.

00:52:24.000 We show the movie.

00:52:25.000 Even if no one comes because they're too scared and everyone has to get frisked, we do all of that, whatever it takes to show the movie.

00:52:32.000 Because the opposite of that is what happened.

00:52:34.000 And what happened was someone just has to say a rumor and a film is wiped out of the theaters.

00:52:40.000 So we are now their bitch. 0.99

00:52:42.000 That's not the way it works.

00:52:44.000 Don't be their bitch. 1.00

00:52:45.000 Don't let them censor you.

00:52:47.000 And don't make it so fucking easy for them to censor you.

00:52:52.000 And don't let these fuckers lie about what the alt-right planned a fight.

00:52:56.000 What are you, five years old?

00:52:58.000 That's how I would explain it to a toddler.

00:53:01.000 And then later when they got older, I'd explain what really happened.

00:53:05.000 Go ahead.

00:53:06.000 Canceled.

00:53:07.000 And then Ann Coulter and Miley Leonopoulos and all the people on the right are like, Berkeley is anti-free speech.

00:53:12.000 Berkeley doesn't like free speech.

00:53:13.000 No, I live in Berkeley.

00:53:15.000 Berkeley is fine with free speech.

00:53:16.000 We love freedom of expression.

00:53:18.000 We're anti-bullshit, all right?

00:53:21.000 We're not that.

00:53:22.000 Bullshit is free speech, you moron.

00:53:24.000 Bullshit is a big part of free speech.

00:53:27.000 It's all in there.

00:53:28.000 The good, the bad, and the ugly.

00:53:29.000 Your free speech is just speech that you like.

00:53:32.000 Like this bullshit, your new special, your old special, called Not a Thing.

00:53:38.000 That's not a thing.

00:53:40.000 Listen to them clap, these fucking Berkeley.

00:53:45.000 We're fans of free speech.

00:53:47.000 We don't have to agree with what you say or what you do.

00:53:49.000 There's a naked guy who for years just walked around Berkeley.

00:53:53.000 Pro free speech because there's a naked guy there. 0.88

00:53:56.000 What are his political affiliations?

00:53:58.000 If it's pro-free speech, can I go do a speech in Berkeley?

00:54:02.000 Could I do a speech about an apolitical speech?

00:54:05.000 Could I go do a comedy show about animals?

00:54:07.000 Would that be allowed in Berkeley?

00:54:09.000 That's not bullshit.

00:54:12.000 No.

00:54:13.000 Naked guy, anyway.

00:54:16.000 And different people from different sides of the political aisle and the culture were like, fine with it.

00:54:20.000 There'd be women in burkers with their kids going to school. 1.00

00:54:22.000 Honey, the naked guy needs to get to work.

00:54:23.000 We have to get out of his way.

00:54:25.000 Yeah, Muslims love public nudity. 1.00

00:54:27.000 They have no problem with it whatsoever, you fucking liar.

00:54:30.000 Anyway, we get the idea.

00:54:32.000 I got to admit, this special sort of gives me sexist vibes because when I watch it and I see the audience, I think, women are stupid. 1.00

00:54:41.000 But I'm like, wow, y'all are so predictable.

00:54:45.000 Everything's political.

00:54:47.000 Why are y'all so sad and miserable?

00:54:49.000 I think you're mad because I'm happy.

00:54:54.000 I'm just kidding.

00:54:55.000 Women aren't stupid. 1.00

00:54:57.000 But a certain type of women are really into dumb shit. 1.00

00:55:07.000 You see this?

00:55:08.000 This is one day ago from Kamal Bell.

00:55:10.000 Fathers for pro-choice.

00:55:12.000 Not his own brewing kid, not socks.

00:55:16.000 Give him safe and legal access to abortion.

00:55:21.000 Hello, I'm noted male feminist W. Kamal Bell.

00:55:24.000 Yes, you are.

00:55:25.000 How much I've spent on birth control in my life?

00:55:27.000 $213.

00:55:29.000 Mostly on condoms that expired in my wallet.

00:55:32.000 You know how much my wife has spent? 0.99

00:55:34.000 $17,530.

00:55:38.000 Why are you on birth control?

00:55:41.000 Dads, if you've ever had sex and not had a kid, it's likely birth control or abortion played a role.

00:55:47.000 We're used to not having to worry about it.

00:55:50.000 But nobody ever got pregnant from a vibrator. 1.00

00:55:52.000 For that, you need...

00:55:53.000 I sperm an egg! 0.93

00:55:55.000 A sperm and an egg! 1.00

00:55:57.000 That's right.

00:55:57.000 See, the majority...

00:55:59.000 Did you see that?

00:56:00.000 What?

00:56:00.000 He's talking about vibrators in front of little kids and pointing at them.

00:56:04.000 And then they said, sperm and egg.

00:56:05.000 People seeking abortions are already parents. 0.73

00:56:08.000 They know it's right for their families.

00:56:10.000 They would know if having another kid would send them spiraling into poverty. 0.91

00:56:13.000 It definitely would.

00:56:15.000 Oh my God.

00:56:16.000 Funny you should mention God because there's literally no mention of the word abortion in here.

00:56:21.000 Just like shall not kill.

00:56:25.000 It's almost like this is just a way for a few fragile men to use religion to control our bodies. 0.93

00:56:32.000 Hold on.

00:56:33.000 We're trying to control the unborn's bodies and have them not killed. 0.99

00:56:39.000 And by the way, the best way to advertise abortion is to talk about some street whore or some like 16-year-old who's already on welfare and doesn't know where her next rent check's coming from. 1.00

00:56:52.000 And that tugs at the heartstrings and you go, I still think she should have a baby.

00:56:57.000 But a family that already has a beautiful home, look at those doors.

00:57:01.000 A family that already has a beautiful home and just doesn't want another one.

00:57:05.000 Another kid's going to send this house spiraling into poverty? 0.97

00:57:08.000 Yeah, and they're saying contraception is more expensive.

00:57:11.000 Abortion isn't. 1.00

00:57:12.000 Right?

00:57:13.000 Is that the point that look how expensive contraception is?

00:57:16.000 Yeah, I kind of missed that.

00:57:17.000 I thought they were saying that like the whole field of sex is sexist because women have to spend so much money.

00:57:23.000 Parenting is a job.

00:57:24.000 So wait a minute.

00:57:24.000 Wait a minute.

00:57:25.000 Wait a minute.

00:57:26.000 Are they arguing now that we should use abortion as birth control?

00:57:31.000 It sounded like that to me because like why, you know, use contraception.

00:57:34.000 It's very expensive and the woman has to do it. 1.00

00:57:36.000 So if you have a baby, you can decide to get an abortion instead so you don't spoil into it. 0.91

00:57:40.000 I'm old enough to remember that the argument was passionately, no, we're not trying to use it as birth control.

00:57:45.000 It's for emergencies.

00:57:47.000 Now it's like, let's just do it if we're slightly inconvenienced.

00:57:51.000 And I think that's almost half of abortions, by the way.

00:57:55.000 Like the old, the people smarter than this idiot would say, well, they have to have abortions because they'll die and the kid will become a criminal and she's a crackhead and blah, blah, blah. 0.68

00:58:05.000 That was the old argument and we never use it at birth control.

00:58:08.000 Now they seem to be arguing that it is birth control.

00:58:10.000 And I've seen it be birth control.

00:58:12.000 You see these feminists bragging about like, I've had 25 abortions and I thought they were all awesome. 1.00

00:58:17.000 By the way, they're not awesome ladies. 1.00

00:58:18.000 You're going to have nightmares.

00:58:19.000 I promise you.

00:58:21.000 A wonderful, very difficult job.

00:58:24.000 And since when does America force anybody to do a job against their will without paying them by controlling their bodies?

00:58:30.000 Oh, cool.

00:58:31.000 Brought slavery back into it. 0.81

00:58:32.000 Oh, yeah, right.

00:58:35.000 So as we celebrate Father's Day, let's also celebrate murdering abortion and bodily autonomy. 0.93

00:58:41.000 Because man, have we benefited from those?

00:58:43.000 So enjoy your day, guys, and welcome to The fact that abortion has devastated the black community, and you just said, man, has America benefited from abortion? 0.76

00:58:53.000 That's not a great look, Camus.

00:58:56.000 Fucking killer whale.

00:58:59.000 Shimu.

00:59:02.000 All right, let's...

00:59:04.000 We've got a lot of shit here, but I'm sick of talking about the meandering.

00:59:09.000 Let's get to the mailbag.

00:59:12.000 Keep it fun.

00:59:13.000 Keep it short.

00:59:14.000 Keep it sweet.

00:59:25.000 Let me touch it.

00:59:28.000 Let me touch it.

00:59:44.000 I like that Bryson Gray song a lot.

00:59:46.000 Like, I'm not really not a big fan of rap at all.

00:59:48.000 So I would never listen to...

00:59:50.000 That's not a good sign, Ryan.

00:59:52.000 When the man with the worst taste in music on earth likes your song, Bryson Gray might kill himself.

00:59:56.000 I have great taste in music.

00:59:58.000 He's a man of God.

00:59:58.000 He would never do something like that.

00:59:59.000 Let's play some more of it then.

01:00:01.000 I think it's so great.

01:00:02.000 It's like it's really listenable stuff.

01:00:06.000 Well, he seems to be drifting from rap into pop.

01:00:09.000 Well, yeah, well, that's what rap is right now.

01:00:10.000 Like, if you look at Postmo ownership that's singy, The Weekend.

01:00:17.000 They're coming around to making music in the hip-hop community.

01:00:39.000 Okay, that's something I have to just briefly cover because the hearings are looking really bad.

01:00:46.000 And they've desperately polluted the Proud Boys' waters.

01:00:52.000 They need to move to Miami or have the court. 1.00

01:00:55.000 There's only been five change of, whatever you call them, locations in the past 15 years.

01:01:01.000 But the jury is totally polluted in D.C. by this fucking ridiculous shit show hearing.

01:01:07.000 Not to mention the media feverishly working on changing the narrative here.

01:01:14.000 And it relates to babies and being unhappy.

01:01:18.000 Go to 21A.

01:01:19.000 You may have to change the background of Proud Boys.

01:01:21.000 I don't know.

01:01:24.000 I was looking at the people involved in this and the thousands of hours of work that has gone into catching the Proud Boys.

01:01:31.000 And you think, could you even imagine these people, these journalists, working on BLM riots or Antifa riots and identifying everyone and finding out like who organized the Molotov cocktails?

01:01:47.000 Like those two lawyers, they were handing out explosives that went into the cop car.

01:01:52.000 Who else was involved in that?

01:01:53.000 The New York Times would never report on that or do something this in-depth in a million years.

01:02:00.000 But you go down at the names and you're like, go know, the author is fuck nuts. 0.72

01:02:08.000 Natalie Renault is like a lonely fat chick. 1.00

01:02:11.000 Stella Cooper, another girl mad at men, all childless.

01:02:14.000 Alan Froyer, feminism killed his marriage.

01:02:17.000 He's alone with some young girl going nowhere, acting like an infant.

01:02:22.000 I don't know Aaron Bird.

01:02:24.000 I bet he doesn't have a family.

01:02:25.000 But like these three people, instead of having a family, they've devoted their lives to catching these fathers with newborns sinning and being bad.

01:02:35.000 And being, they want them to be unhappy.

01:02:38.000 They want to punish them.

01:02:39.000 And I don't think they even know this.

01:02:41.000 But I believe a huge motive here in going through the proud boy's sins with a fine-toothed comb is because they're family men and these people will never have a family.

01:02:52.000 So check out this video.

01:02:54.000 I could have green screened it, but isn't it at the top?

01:03:01.000 It goes through the days of January 6th and says that Proud Boys had a plan all along and they take all their Super Bowl talk of like, we're going to fuck shit up and take that as proof.

01:03:12.000 But they do a weird thing where they'll say, this Proud Boy did this and then they went and broke stuff and barricades.

01:03:20.000 You don't know if they are the Proud Boys or guys that were next to them.

01:03:23.000 So they may be making the argument that Proud Boy started it and everyone finished it.

01:03:27.000 But the tone, and that's already dubious, but the tone is they were responsible for everything.

01:03:36.000 And the work that went into this is just alarming.

01:03:39.000 And you did all this work, New York Times, because why?

01:03:42.000 Because you care about democracy?

01:03:44.000 I looked at these authors' other articles, and it's all BLM and racism, and this horrible white school district did this to the black woman.

01:03:53.000 They're just obsessed with black failure and white guilt and shitting on families because their lives are miserable. 0.73

01:03:59.000 It's the Bryson Gray thing.

01:04:01.000 The way we're creeping into the site for free, I don't think it'll let me watch this video.

01:04:06.000 How did you see this video?

01:04:09.000 You should be subscribed, dude.

01:04:11.000 Oh, you have a login?

01:04:14.000 I'm going to need that login.

01:04:16.000 Yeah, well, it's a little late.

01:04:19.000 And look at this cartoon that's going around.

01:04:20.000 The not-so-proud boys.

01:04:23.000 So not only these people anti-family, but they're desperate for Nazis.

01:04:27.000 And they take Enrique Tario and lighten him up so he's kind of white.

01:04:34.000 And then that way they can get away with white is right on a helmet. 0.89

01:04:41.000 Because they desperately want these guys to be Nazis.

01:04:46.000 They want patriots to be Nazis.

01:04:48.000 I don't know why.

01:04:49.000 It's fucking genuine.

01:04:50.000 Anyway.

01:04:51.000 Oh, yeah.

01:04:51.000 The one other Proud Boy's thing.

01:04:53.000 Stephen Colbert was talking about it.

01:04:56.000 Laughing gleefully about Joe Biggs going to jail For 20 years.

01:05:02.000 That's fun and funny because by the time Joe gets out, this proud boy will be a member of the double ARP, which is literally true.

01:05:13.000 He's like 30 now.

01:05:17.000 If he goes to jail for 20 years, he'll be over 50.

01:05:21.000 This is a...

01:05:24.000 Where is it now?

01:05:25.000 222.

01:05:26.000 In case you're still wondering the future of all the legislature vehicles, cut away from that.

01:05:31.000 And we'll get back to it when the commercial's over.

01:05:35.000 In here, out there, all the ships at sea, welcome to the late show.

01:05:38.000 I'm your host, Stephen Colbert.

01:05:40.000 Well, ladies and gentlemen, what are we looking at here?

01:05:45.000 We're still waiting for the next January 6th committee hearing.

01:05:48.000 The next one was supposed to be today, but now the next one is tomorrow.

01:05:52.000 But yesterday, the committee did drop a teaser for the next hearing.

01:05:58.000 A teaser.

01:05:59.000 Yeah.

01:06:00.000 That's me doing it.

01:06:02.000 Movie.

01:06:02.000 Is there a multiverse where there are consequences for staging a coup?

01:06:07.000 All we know is that Rudy Giuliani is hiding bottles of wine in every dimension.

01:06:16.000 Yay! 0.99

01:06:18.000 Special effect.

01:06:20.000 Keep going.

01:06:22.000 Yay! 0.99

01:06:27.000 Which one's the real me?

01:06:31.000 The teaser hinted at new information about the fall.

01:06:34.000 His joke is about this being a big Hollywood affair.

01:06:37.000 Yeah, that's my point, Moron.

01:06:38.000 He's making fun of the fact that it exists is already retarded, but he's making fun of the fact that it's not hardcore enough. 0.98

01:06:44.000 It's like, oh, it's the Muppet Show.

01:06:46.000 Like, they're putting on this show, but we're saying they're putting on a show.

01:06:49.000 But he's saying it's just a show.

01:06:51.000 They should be just locking them up and executing them.

01:06:53.000 Well, they did lock them up.

01:06:54.000 They're locked up.

01:06:55.000 Pay an attorney.

01:06:56.000 John Eastman, seen here after winning the 100-meter dingus.

01:07:01.000 In case you're still wondering, what happened?

01:07:03.000 Another ad.

01:07:04.000 Here, this is on.

01:07:05.000 That doesn't make sense.

01:07:06.000 They play another ad after 10 seconds?

01:07:09.000 Teen here after winning the 100-meter dingus.

01:07:13.000 As you may recall, as you may recall, Eastman was the dumbass mastermind, or dumbastermind, behind the ridiculous legal argument that Mike Pence had the power to block Congress from certifying Biden's victory.

01:07:28.000 You know who disagreed with that?

01:07:29.000 Mike Pence.

01:07:31.000 On January 6th, Pence decided not to wish democracy into the cornfield, but Eastman did not give up with his plan.

01:07:40.000 We know that because yesterday the committee released a little teaser video of former White House attorney Eric Hirschman describing a phone call he got on January 7th.

01:07:51.000 It was the day after.

01:07:53.000 Weirdest art in the world.

01:07:55.000 Eastman.

01:07:56.000 And by the way, remember that whole thing about pandas being a pedophile thing?

01:08:01.000 Oh, yeah.

01:08:02.000 Because they're eyes from crying and they look like pandas after they get raped?

01:08:08.000 Weird choice.

01:08:08.000 And weird choice for that drag queen in San Francisco to call himself Panda.

01:08:13.000 Maybe just a coincidence.

01:08:15.000 I don't remember why he called me and he started to ask me about something dealing with Georgia and preserving something.

01:08:24.000 Skip ahead.

01:08:24.000 This is boring.

01:08:25.000 I can answer that one.

01:08:28.000 Don't do that.

01:08:40.000 Eastman engineered a failed coup on national TV and thought he could just keep going.

01:08:45.000 That's like being on trial for public indecency and swearing in by raising more than your right hand.

01:08:54.000 Herschman.

01:08:56.000 Can you imagine going to this and laughing your fucking face up?

01:08:58.000 I want to get to Proud Boys.

01:08:59.000 I didn't even mean to do Proud Boys.

01:09:02.000 I only want to hear two words coming out of your mouth.

01:09:05.000 Smoke and explain how that calls are by going to one.

01:09:10.000 In worst case scenarios are not happy about it.

01:09:12.000 Some of the folks, some of the folks being featured in the videos and these hearings are not happy about all the publicity.

01:09:19.000 Take Proud Boy leader and worst case scenario David Cross.

01:09:23.000 Joseph is much more handsome than David Cross.

01:09:25.000 For his role in the coup, Biggs has been charged with seditious conspiracy.

01:09:29.000 It's a serious charge.

01:09:30.000 Yeah.

01:09:31.000 Carries a maximum sentence of 20 years.

01:09:33.000 By the time he gets out, this Proud Boy is going to be a proud member of the AARP.

01:09:38.000 And Biggs wants to move his...

01:09:41.000 Isn't that amazing?

01:09:42.000 Ha ha ha, Joe Biggs.

01:09:45.000 You're going to be a senior citizen by the time you get out for this mistake, this sin, this vandalism, this trespassing, this insurrection. 0.96

01:09:56.000 This guy really hates insurrections.

01:09:58.000 What if it was liberals?

01:10:00.000 These people love democracy, right?

01:10:01.000 What if it was Antifa and BLM who stormed the White House during Trump's time? 0.77

01:10:06.000 I assume the New York Times would invest thousands of hours into researching Antifa and BLM who stormed the Capitol.

01:10:14.000 And I assume Colbert would be joking about BLM and Antifa spending 20 years in prison, right?

01:10:19.000 Because their beef is democracy.

01:10:21.000 They don't want democracy sent to the cornfield, as he put it.

01:10:25.000 Right?

01:10:27.000 Or is this just vindictive, county partisanship?

01:10:33.000 His trial now, according to the court, quote, in view of the increased and unquestionably spectacular 24-7 negative press and media coverage about the fraternity known as the Proud Boys.

01:10:46.000 Oh, that's right.

01:10:47.000 I forgot.

01:10:47.000 The Proud Boys is just a fraternity.

01:10:49.000 January 6th was just hazing.

01:10:51.000 I mean, we all heard their chant.

01:10:53.000 Stop.

01:10:54.000 He doesn't understand the word fraternity.

01:10:56.000 It has many meanings.

01:10:59.000 We usually say fraternal organization, but fraternity, if you have a dictionary, works.

01:11:04.000 It's a group of men.

01:11:05.000 Fraternal.

01:11:06.000 It's a fraternal order.

01:11:09.000 So you don't get the English language, my friend.

01:11:23.000 There's an army of people working on these jokes, by the way.

01:11:26.000 Have another.

01:11:32.000 Biggs' attorney argues that his client can't get a fair trial thanks to this week's televised hearings of the House Select Committee on January 6th and all the media coverage.

01:11:42.000 From morning, Joe, to Stephen Colbert's late show.

01:11:46.000 Yay! 0.99

01:11:47.000 We're all helping put Joe Biggs in prison.

01:11:49.000 Hey, can you have his daughter on the show and you can clap to her about how she's not going to have a dad for 20 years?

01:11:56.000 You know what would be funny, Stephen Colbert?

01:11:57.000 You bring his daughter on the show and you go, ha ha, you stupid bitch. 1.00

01:12:02.000 Wouldn't that be hilarious?

01:12:04.000 They would clap.

01:12:05.000 And then we could all clap and then we could say vibrator and point at her. 0.97

01:12:09.000 That's merely a reference in case this clip's taken out of context.

01:12:17.000 All right, that's enough.

01:12:19.000 Fucking nausea.

01:12:20.000 This seems like in a dystopian movie.

01:12:23.000 It really does.

01:12:24.000 It's like The Running Man or something.

01:12:25.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:12:26.000 Or Hunger Games or something, doesn't it?

01:12:28.000 And Mr. Biggs is going to be so old when he gets out of prison, he'll be a senior citizen.

01:12:38.000 Love it.

01:12:39.000 I hope he gets raped in there.

01:12:40.000 And they do that all the time.

01:12:41.000 They love their rape jokes. 0.99

01:12:43.000 Let's just end with this inadvertent Prowboy segment with this 2-3.

01:12:57.000 I think it's Greg Kelly.

01:13:00.000 I don't really do Brumble.

01:13:02.000 Are we on Brumble, Rumble?

01:13:03.000 We're on Rumble.

01:13:05.000 We're on Rumble.

01:13:05.000 And Bit Shoot.

01:13:06.000 You're on Rumble, but the show is on BitChute. 1.00

01:13:09.000 Will they talk about it this?

01:13:11.000 Who is that little cop waving people in? 0.72

01:13:14.000 And these guys just standing in the hallway.

01:13:17.000 Welcome to the Capitol.

01:13:19.000 Not stopping anybody.

01:13:21.000 Why?

01:13:22.000 Why didn't they?

01:13:23.000 If we could get these questions answered, it wouldn't be a sham hearing tonight.

01:13:27.000 And what about the officers who refused to do anything when they were specifically asked, even begged to help?

01:13:35.000 Why are you letting this happen?

01:13:37.000 Why haven't you come for backup?

01:13:39.000 There is your backup.

01:13:41.000 This is our damn Capitol building, and y'all are letting it get destroyed on your watch!

01:13:48.000 And they just stood there.

01:13:50.000 Maybe they had orders somehow, some way to let them inside so that this process could not continue.

01:13:57.000 The constitutional, the totally legal objection to the electoral count.

01:14:04.000 I, Paul Gosar from Arizona.

01:14:06.000 What purpose does the gentleman from Arizona rise?

01:14:08.000 I rise for myself and 60 of my colleagues to object to the counting of the electoral ballots from Arizona.

01:14:17.000 Is the objection in writing and signed by a senator?

01:14:21.000 Yes, it is.

01:14:22.000 It is.

01:14:35.000 I wish that mattered.

01:14:37.000 Yeah, that's enough of that.

01:14:38.000 Then they show a bunch of tweets.

01:14:39.000 Then there's this.

01:14:42.000 Tomorrow!

01:14:43.000 We need to go into the capital!

01:14:46.000 Into the capital!

01:14:56.000 Tomorrow?

01:14:58.000 I don't even like to say it because I'll be arrested.

01:15:00.000 Well, let's not say it.

01:15:02.000 We need to go.

01:15:03.000 I'll say it.

01:15:04.000 We need to go in.

01:15:05.000 Shut the fuck up, Boober. 1.00

01:15:06.000 To the Capitol.

01:15:07.000 Face Fed person?

01:15:09.000 I was there for that.

01:15:10.000 We didn't go into the Capitol.

01:15:12.000 I didn't see that coming in.

01:15:13.000 We were there.

01:15:14.000 You went to Gen 6?

01:15:15.000 Oh, wait, no.

01:15:17.000 Wait, that wasn't the day before Gen 6.

01:15:22.000 We need to go in.

01:15:24.000 Shut the fuck up, Boober. 1.00

01:15:25.000 Anyway, Ryan, enough.

01:15:26.000 I was there a different time.

01:15:29.000 All right, now we can do the mailbank.

01:15:31.000 Sorry about that, folks.

01:15:32.000 Got sidetracked.

01:15:33.000 And that won't be.

01:15:37.000 That'll be old news by the time we get to Monday.

01:15:40.000 Ryan, you are the best part of GOML, and your last solo GOML was a lot more entertaining than your average Mick Drunkard episode.

01:15:47.000 Oh, my God.

01:15:48.000 Your show is, once again, as good or even better.

01:15:50.000 It would piss that aging alcoholic off.

01:15:53.000 See, when insults are accurate, I am aging.

01:15:58.000 I do look uglier than I've looked ever in my life.

01:16:03.000 And I do drink way too much.

01:16:06.000 I can take it.

01:16:06.000 It's when it's not true that it's annoying.

01:16:10.000 Like, I didn't start vice, you fucking cunt. 1.00

01:16:14.000 I suggest you do 10 to 15 minutes of the most fucked up Dal-E AI art available. 1.00

01:16:19.000 There's a Twitter collating the best ones.

01:16:21.000 And probably subreddits, blah, blah, blah.

01:16:23.000 Gavin completely botched this idea and only showed like six pictures and they were very boring.

01:16:26.000 He's got wet brain from all the alcohol and could fuck up literally anything.

01:16:31.000 Very sad.

01:16:34.000 That's a woman calling herself radical vixen. 1.00

01:16:39.000 So I'm excited about this new plan.

01:16:42.000 I got a day off.

01:16:44.000 We're going to pre-record Canada Day.

01:16:46.000 That'll be all about Canada.

01:16:48.000 We're going to pre-record July 4th.

01:16:51.000 That'll be all about Trump.

01:16:53.000 But maybe Monday?

01:16:54.000 I don't know.

01:16:57.000 I will have...

01:16:58.000 Yeah, maybe Monday.

01:16:59.000 Can you believe Father's Day is Juneteenth?

01:17:04.000 I'll be tired from going to prison all weekend.

01:17:08.000 There's a lot going on that day.

01:17:10.000 Antifa, what's a lot going on, what?

01:17:13.000 Monday?

01:17:13.000 Yeah, Juneteenth, Gay Pride, Father's Day.

01:17:16.000 There's a lot.

01:17:18.000 A lot to be proud of and celebrate.

01:17:24.000 I just got an important text from someone who's at the bar.

01:17:29.000 Still, this isn't.

01:17:30.000 Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

01:17:32.000 Breaking news, emergency.

01:17:33.000 Still going to be there?

01:17:35.000 Question mark?

01:17:38.000 I haven't seen him in a while.

01:17:39.000 He's the guy who said to me, he goes, are the Mets going to do this?

01:17:42.000 Because he's a Red Sox fan and he was some drag queen Fenway Park thing. 0.75

01:17:46.000 And I was like, I fucking hope not or I'm going to kill myself.

01:17:50.000 And then I sent him the first pitch from Fenway guy, fucking dudes up the ass. 0.95

01:17:55.000 Like, here's a tip, people who book drag queens. 1.00

01:17:59.000 There are zero wholesome drag queens. 1.00

01:18:02.000 100% of them have a video out of them butt fucking each other or drenched in calm or saying all the kids who look up to me can suck my dick. 0.74

01:18:12.000 That's the whole point of them.

01:18:14.000 There are zero wholesome ones.

01:18:18.000 I promise.

01:18:19.000 So give it up.

01:18:21.000 Get some gays, if you must, for gay pride. 0.54

01:18:25.000 Don't get their weirdest members.

01:18:27.000 Antifa indicted in Dan Diego.

01:18:30.000 He spells it.

01:18:31.000 Grand jury indicts Antifa members for political violence in California.

01:18:34.000 In a first-of-is-kind case, a San Diego County grand jury has indicted 11 members of the violent left-wing group Antifa.

01:18:40.000 I can't believe they said violent left-wing group.

01:18:42.000 You know what the New York Times described Antifa as?

01:18:47.000 I wonder if I got it here.

01:18:49.000 Yeah, far-left activists known as Antifa.

01:18:53.000 You can always tell where the article is going to go by the way they describe Antifa.

01:18:56.000 And if they say anti-fascist anywhere in the article, crumple it up and throw it in the garbage, even if it's on your phone.

01:19:03.000 And then get a new phone and cut and have the cuts in your hand stitched up.

01:19:08.000 This week in San Diego, grand jury indicted them.

01:19:11.000 Use a tear gas assault with a deadly weapon.

01:19:13.000 Assault by means likely to produce great bodily injury.

01:19:16.000 This is the first of its kind to target and break up Antifa cells.

01:19:20.000 Brought forward by...

01:19:21.000 Okay.

01:19:23.000 I'll be cautiously optimistic about that.

01:19:26.000 Thank you.

01:19:27.000 Because we know the guys, did we talk about this?

01:19:29.000 The guys in Philadelphia dude was having a patriotic rally.

01:19:34.000 Word got out that it was a Proud Boys thing.

01:19:35.000 It wasn't.

01:19:36.000 And two Hispanic Marines show up and they go, Antifa goes, you're Proud Boys.

01:19:43.000 And they go, what?

01:19:44.000 You're Nazis.

01:19:45.000 You're white nationalist.

01:19:45.000 They go, we're Mexican, dude.

01:19:47.000 We're Marines.

01:19:47.000 And they go, fuck you, spick.

01:19:49.000 Fuck you, wet back. 1.00

01:19:50.000 And then they begin attacking them and pepper spraying them in the face because you can't beat up a Marine with your fist.

01:19:56.000 And these guys got probation.

01:20:00.000 What are they looking at?

01:20:03.000 Yep.

01:20:04.000 No jail time.

01:20:05.000 Charges dropped.

01:20:06.000 Probation.

01:20:07.000 Don't be bad for a year and you're good to go.

01:20:11.000 And that guy with the glasses, he's like a major player.

01:20:16.000 If he was a prow boy, they'd call him a leader. 0.98

01:20:18.000 He's a Joe Biggs, Ethan Nordine, Enrique Tario, Antifa dude.

01:20:23.000 No problem.

01:20:24.000 Why?

01:20:25.000 Because Soros, and you got to give him credit, was smart enough to decide to focus on DAs.

01:20:33.000 I got to admit, maybe I'm not enough of a super villain.

01:20:36.000 It wouldn't occur to me to spend millions of dollars supporting progressive DAs and judges.

01:20:45.000 But it's working in his favor now because all of his paramilitary troops, all of his shock troops, get away with murder.

01:20:54.000 Well, the opposite happens to his enemies.

01:20:56.000 And look at the Jan 6 hearings.

01:20:59.000 Please give Gavin some Kleenex before showing him this article.

01:21:03.000 Top fact checker at USA Today, forced to delete articles over fabricated sources.

01:21:09.000 And it sounds like she was an affirmative action hire.

01:21:13.000 Gabrielle Miranda.

01:21:15.000 And by the way, if I was female and Hispanic, I'd be fucking pissed off at anyone who did affirmative action because it makes me look trivial.

01:21:28.000 But yeah, look at her. 0.62

01:21:30.000 Look at her up on Daily Mail, Ryan.

01:21:32.000 So many Proud Boys articles and anti-patriot articles are done by these little babysitters.

01:21:38.000 These little girls who are just playing journalists. 0.94

01:21:41.000 And what happens to them?

01:21:43.000 They can't take the heat.

01:21:44.000 They all get addicted to Adderall, by the way, just so they can meet their deadlines.

01:21:48.000 And then they just end up fabricating because they don't belong in the job.

01:21:56.000 Nickname recommendation, Dear Gavin, Lord of the Rad Zone.

01:21:59.000 Came up with a name for Beat Buttigig.

01:22:02.000 Pete Booty Jizz.

01:22:03.000 Now, don't fall for it, dude.

01:22:06.000 You don't do any gay shit with him because that's what they want you to do. 1.00

01:22:11.000 All right.

01:22:11.000 That's enough letters.

01:22:12.000 It's just more news.

01:22:16.000 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

01:22:20.000 Check this video out.

01:22:21.000 Maybe it's the video we just showed.

01:22:23.000 No.

01:22:24.000 Here's a new one.

01:22:25.000 Last minute in Jan 6 new video.

01:22:28.000 Check this video out.

01:22:28.000 I've never seen it before.

01:22:30.000 It looks like they wanted to let it happen.

01:22:32.000 A coordinated campaign was executed with extreme efficiency.

01:22:35.000 I'll put on a link instead of sending a big video like you requested.

01:22:38.000 I wonder what the hundreds of hours of video being kept secret would show.

01:22:43.000 Is that the one we just showed?

01:22:44.000 Yeah.

01:22:45.000 So there's that.

01:22:46.000 Oh, is that the whole thing?

01:22:48.000 Yeah, dude.

01:22:48.000 We already got it.

01:22:49.000 Farts.

01:22:50.000 All right.

01:22:51.000 Fops.

01:22:52.000 Time for the final video.

01:23:11.000 Let's do a few.

01:23:14.000 Hell yeah.

01:23:15.000 Okay.

01:23:16.000 I want to keep Friday shows fun.

01:23:18.000 I think I got to get off my phone because I get to work and I've emailed myself 60 articles and that's six hours of television.

01:23:30.000 What's this weird dude with a gun?

01:23:34.000 I don't remember sending myself this.

01:23:36.000 Oh yeah, this is kind of funny.

01:23:39.000 Some dude with a gun just appears out of nowhere as this car comes into frame.

01:23:45.000 So there's a cop chase.

01:23:47.000 Uh-oh.

01:23:49.000 Bang.

01:23:49.000 Rolls his car.

01:23:52.000 Hits a tree.

01:23:54.000 And then some dude with a gun runs out.

01:23:57.000 Oh.

01:23:59.000 I was going to shoot him.

01:24:00.000 I better get the fuck out of here.

01:24:04.000 Whatever town that's in, we are in the Wild West.

01:24:08.000 Look at that.

01:24:10.000 Like, those thieves just jumped from their joyride from the cops.

01:24:14.000 And there was another thief escaping from another robbery that also entered into frame.

01:24:19.000 Dude, sell your house. 0.99

01:24:20.000 You're in a bad neighborhood.

01:24:22.000 A man riding a dog.

01:24:24.000 Yeah.

01:24:25.000 Easy up.

01:24:26.000 This is family guy.

01:24:28.000 This is a cartoon.

01:24:30.000 Your neighborhood is cartoonly bad.

01:24:34.000 That's a bad level.

01:24:39.000 I like that those guys got out, though.

01:24:41.000 I've never seen a video where the Benny Hill theme can be played during and then the curb your enthusiasm afterwards.

01:24:50.000 Look at that.

01:24:51.000 They're fine.

01:24:57.000 They'll get nothing, of course.

01:24:58.000 Thanks to progressive VAs.

01:25:02.000 I don't know if we showed this before 3-8.

01:25:04.000 I didn't realize this, but birds, it takes them a while to realize worms are not just dropped in your mouth.

01:25:09.000 Have I talked about this before?

01:25:11.000 Doesn't sound familiar.

01:25:12.000 So when they're in the nest, you just go, and you get a worm.

01:25:15.000 So they go, I get it.

01:25:16.000 Every time I see a worm, I'm just going to go, ah, and it'll jump in my mouth.

01:25:21.000 No, dude, that was your mom feeding you.

01:25:23.000 Now that you're on your own and no one's feeding you, you got to get your own worms.

01:25:31.000 Ah, ah.

01:25:33.000 Ah, ah, ah, ah.

01:25:36.000 What the fuck's going on?

01:25:38.000 Hello?

01:25:39.000 I'm opening my mouth.

01:25:42.000 This is like my wife.

01:25:43.000 She was finally ready to blow me and I didn't want her to. 0.88

01:25:47.000 You can come in my mouth.

01:25:49.000 Hello.

01:25:50.000 No, thank you.

01:25:50.000 I got to get to work.

01:25:51.000 Bye.

01:25:54.000 This worm is like, thank God I got one of the stupidest birds in the world.

01:26:00.000 I wonder if deep down somewhere, this worm is hurt.

01:26:04.000 Like, what am I, chopped liver?

01:26:06.000 Eat me, bitch. 1.00

01:26:08.000 Yeah, right?

01:26:11.000 Maybe he's not the early bird.

01:26:14.000 Here's a chick just bursting into flames. 1.00

01:26:16.000 This is always funny.

01:26:16.000 You've seen a billion of these.

01:26:20.000 I don't know why people keep doing this.

01:26:24.000 The pros do not outweigh the cons.

01:26:26.000 Hello, I'm so happy.

01:26:28.000 Let me put my hair back because this is dangerous and things could go really wrong.

01:26:32.000 Yeah, fun.

01:26:33.000 Let's throw some things on it and let's spill shit on you.

01:26:40.000 I'm sorry.

01:26:41.000 I feel like Stephen Colbert laughing at people's pain and suffering, but I know they're fine.

01:26:45.000 Remember, you poured the fucking Jager right at them at the end.

01:26:50.000 Do you hate them?

01:26:51.000 Was this a hit?

01:26:54.000 Grind face. 0.97

01:26:56.000 My wife's like, what is that siren I keep hearing coming from the bedroom? 1.00

01:27:01.000 I'm like, it's me watching my grind face.

01:27:03.000 Don't fuck with chapel.

01:27:05.000 Oh, it's tequila.

01:27:07.000 He sort of sprayed it.

01:27:10.000 What a fucking genius.

01:27:12.000 Remember spontaneous combustion in the 90s when that was a thing?

01:27:16.000 Yeah, you would be into that.

01:27:18.000 What do you mean?

01:27:19.000 Well, you're always into stupid theories.

01:27:21.000 Oh, I don't know if I believe it.

01:27:22.000 That doesn't really...

01:27:22.000 I know you would if it was going on now, though.

01:27:26.000 I'd have to see the evidence.

01:27:28.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:27:30.000 Yeah, they'd have pictures of pants and shoes and a shirt, and they'd say, look, that guy just spontaneously combusted.

01:27:35.000 Well, in that case.

01:27:38.000 All right, let's do 41.

01:27:42.000 You just ruined my surprise.

01:27:43.000 41.

01:27:44.000 This isn't very funny, but I just want to remind everyone what cops go through every day and what they're willing to do.

01:27:51.000 They put their lives on the line.

01:27:53.000 You guys call them assholes.

01:27:54.000 The job is done.

01:27:55.000 None of their kids are going to become cops.

01:27:57.000 But while we lose police and we see crime like cars rolling with other thieves accidentally trespassing on one other police chase, as that becomes the norm in America, I just want to remind you the guys you got rid of.

01:28:13.000 Okay?

01:28:14.000 These are the people that you said are racist pigs and need to die.

01:28:18.000 These are the pigs you want to fry in a blanket and cook them like bacon.

01:28:22.000 Okay?

01:28:22.000 What's he doing?

01:28:26.000 He's talking to someone.

01:28:27.000 They've got some sort of traffic problem.

01:28:29.000 He's saying maybe take a picture.

01:28:37.000 She's probably got an unregistered vehicle, some bullshit he has to deal with, and he's trying to work it out with her in a very normal, calm way.

01:28:46.000 Turn it up.

01:29:01.000 His body senses are up.

01:29:04.000 You see that?

01:29:05.000 Guy came at him with an axe.

01:29:07.000 Bigger's just been attacked.

01:29:08.000 They just shots fired.

01:29:09.000 Shots fired.

01:29:12.000 Can you imagine that was your life?

01:29:14.000 Where at any moment someone could jump out of a car with a fucking axe and try to kill you?

01:29:18.000 That is my life.

01:29:19.000 And look up the odds statistically of you getting hit with an axe and a cop getting hit with an axe.

01:29:23.000 This is like the fourth time this happened this year.

01:29:25.000 Remember, they just got a guy in Times Square.

01:29:29.000 Like you walk down the street in the hood and you're like, someone could be trying to drop an air conditioner on my head right now.

01:29:36.000 They take that up and we go, hey, I understand you risked your life for us every day.

01:29:39.000 Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it.

01:29:40.000 Oh, no, I was going to say, fuck you.

01:29:43.000 All right.

01:29:45.000 All right.

01:29:46.000 Final video of the final videos.

01:29:51.000 I think I would be so confused.

01:29:52.000 I wouldn't pull my gun up for them.

01:29:54.000 I'd be like, what's going on?

01:29:55.000 What?

01:29:55.000 Yeah, an axe.

01:29:56.000 Why do you have an axe?

01:29:58.000 Is there a tree behind me?

01:30:01.000 Are we going chopping?

01:30:03.000 Hold on.

01:30:03.000 I got to finish this traffic thing.

01:30:04.000 I'll get my axe and we'll go get some firewood.

01:30:08.000 Oh, you want to kill me?

01:30:11.000 Here's a video of a man saying, and before we play it, I want to make clear what he says.

01:30:18.000 He says, how, you?

01:30:24.000 And I think those are two separate sentences.

01:30:26.000 How, question mark?

01:30:28.000 You, question mark?

01:30:30.000 Right?

01:30:31.000 Then he finally gets into a sentence where he says, get to fuck, which is a way of saying fuck you.

01:30:37.000 Then he says, don't fucking bite the board, you cunt.

01:30:43.000 A lot of angry epithets and swear words being hurled at this thing.

01:30:50.000 And then we find out he's got more questions and he asks, what are you doing in the lake anyway?

01:30:56.000 And finally, he makes it clear, I'm not dying today.

01:31:00.000 Get to fuck you, junkie. 1.00

01:31:08.000 Oh, oh, you get get the fuck, don't fucking be a motorcun. 1.00

01:31:16.000 But you didn't in the walk anyway.

01:31:18.000 I'm not dying to dance.

01:31:20.000 Get to fuck you, junkie. 1.00

01:31:24.000 Get to fuck, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

01:31:35.000 But it doesn't face me.

01:31:37.000 I wouldn't wear a dress, even if a label paid me.

01:31:42.000 I know.

01:31:44.000 I can read your mind.

01:31:45.000 I should be bent on everything.

01:31:49.000 I'm a hateful bigot, and everything I say is so mean.

01:31:53.000 I should believe all women because every girl is a queen. 1.00

01:31:58.000 Tell me something I don't know.

01:32:02.000 Cause wow, y'all are so predictable.

01:32:05.000 Everything's political.

01:32:07.000 Why are y'all so sad and miserable?

01:32:10.000 I think you're mad because I'm happy.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - June 17, 2022

S4E130 - FAMILY FUN

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