Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S4E141 - THE BUTT BOYS

00:00:46.000 You guys, jump in.

00:00:48.000 Get in there with me.

00:00:49.000 There you go.

00:00:59.000 That's enough of that, Brian.

00:01:01.000 Turn that off.

00:01:01.000 It's pornography.

00:01:03.000 We don't watch porn.

00:01:07.000 Do we, God?

00:01:10.000 Were some white people enjoying Mup and Sad Friend, their hit single Vendetta.

00:01:16.000 But thinking about white people a lot recently.

00:01:19.000 Go to that email I sent you separately.

00:01:21.000 Britain is lost.

00:01:24.000 So who's going to take over from Boris Johnson?

00:01:27.000 Apparently, a lot of Indians, Pakistanis, blacks, women.

00:01:33.000 There are, what, one, two, three.

00:01:35.000 I'm covering one of the names there, Ryan.

00:01:39.000 There are one, two, three white males there in Britain.

00:01:47.000 And the first guy, Jeremy Hunt, he's got a Chinese wife, but we'll still count him. 1.00

00:01:52.000 Now, here's a controversial theory I was thinking about the other day, and it might be racist.

00:01:59.000 Is it possible that white males are better at systems? 0.58

00:02:02.000 I know you can't say anything good about white males.

00:02:04.000 You can say negative traits, like in Paris the Rapper's songs, he samples Elijah Muhammad saying, the white man is the greatest liar on earth.

00:02:14.000 The white man is the greatest troublemaker on earth.

00:02:16.000 I'm a fucking 19-year-old listening to it going, yeah, fucking so true.

00:02:22.000 You can say good things about other groups.

00:02:24.000 Black males have beautiful culture and loving families.

00:02:29.000 And, well, they don't really say loving families much, but they say that about Hispanics. 0.99

00:02:34.000 But white males, more than even white females, had to survive the winters of northern Europe when they traversed from Africa and on their way to America and the rest of Europe.

00:02:47.000 If you don't have a good system, you're dead.

00:02:49.000 I mean, watch Naked and Afraid.

00:02:51.000 Watch Alone.

00:02:51.000 Watch any of these survival shows.

00:02:53.000 You need a system.

00:02:55.000 And I was first struck by this when I was renting a snowboard.

00:03:00.000 We're at a film festival.

00:03:01.000 I think it was Aspen.

00:03:02.000 Speaking of which, I'm going to put the Brotherhood of the Traveling Rants for free on the site.

00:03:05.000 We bought the DVD.

00:03:06.000 It's unavailable anywhere.

00:03:08.000 So might as well make it free.

00:03:09.000 That's the kind of fun shit you get at censored.tv.

00:03:16.000 And I've told you this before, right?

00:03:17.000 I go in there, there's these iPads, you put in your name, you do the disclaimer, you say you go get your boots.

00:03:23.000 It's complicated getting a snowboard that fits you, the boots fit, the bindings are correct.

00:03:27.000 Is it Daffy?

00:03:28.000 Is it this way?

00:03:29.000 And are they insured?

00:03:30.000 Blah, blah, blah.

00:03:31.000 It's a lot of shit.

00:03:32.000 You would imagine it taking several hours.

00:03:34.000 It was an assembly line of different booths.

00:03:37.000 After I did the thing, I was in the system, and then it was go here to fit your boots, go here to get your board.

00:03:42.000 I was in and out of there on a busy day in 20 minutes.

00:03:47.000 Now, the odds are very high it was a white male who came up with that system.

00:03:51.000 I'm not saying white males are superior.

00:03:54.000 You're not allowed to say that.

00:03:55.000 I would never say that.

00:03:56.000 I hate white males.

00:03:56.000 They're jerks.

00:03:59.000 However, if you can have a pattern with the race and agenda, could it be that they have a knack?

00:04:07.000 Like, remember those little Indian guys? 1.00

00:04:08.000 What were they called?

00:04:09.000 The Gurkhas? 0.99

00:04:11.000 They were just great warriors, little midgets with swords. 1.00

00:04:15.000 They fought most of Britain's, not most, many of Britain's battles.

00:04:19.000 They just seemed to have a predilection for it.

00:04:20.000 Same with the Maoris, great warriors.

00:04:23.000 The Brits, New Zealand wasn't conquered.

00:04:26.000 New Zealand was negotiated by the Brits because they couldn't beat the Maoris.

00:04:34.000 And if that were true, which is probably not, I hate white males, then they'd make better politicians. 0.61

00:04:40.000 Because that's what politicians are.

00:04:44.000 They're systems guys.

00:04:47.000 And I know in my family of American Indians, they seem to have some trouble with systems.

00:04:53.000 For example, if my family's watching this right now, the towel situation has got to change.

00:04:59.000 You've got these dried towels on the racks, and then you put a wet towel on top of that.

00:05:06.000 Or you hang it on the door or on the shower door.

00:05:11.000 No.

00:05:12.000 Take the dry towel that's already on the rack, take it off, fold it, put it with the towels.

00:05:19.000 Now take your wet towel, put it on the rack.

00:05:21.000 It's a drying rack.

00:05:23.000 If something on the drying rack is dry, it served its purpose.

00:05:27.000 Fold it and put it away so wet towels can go there.

00:05:31.000 Every fucking day, I'm picking up wet towels off the floor or off the door or off the shower door.

00:05:36.000 I'm better at systems.

00:05:39.000 I said to my wife, the laundry is another fucking mess in our house. 1.00

00:05:43.000 And it's three kids and her, so it all gets messed up.

00:05:46.000 She's got to sort them all and then fold them all and put them.

00:05:49.000 I go, honey, the laundromat is in the South Bronx is $10 for a big bag.

00:05:55.000 Every kid gets a bag.

00:05:56.000 I don't give a fuck about the washer and dryer.

00:05:58.000 They fill that bag.

00:05:59.000 I take it to work.

00:06:01.000 It's done in a day, $10 a bag.

00:06:04.000 Every two weeks, we'll do the kids' laundry.

00:06:06.000 Even every week would be reasonable, right?

00:06:08.000 $30 a week.

00:06:10.000 I'd probably save that from the dryer bills that Con Ed is giving me.

00:06:13.000 My laundry, my heating bill, sorry, my electrical bill in my home is $50 a day.

00:06:18.000 At the studio, it's $25.

00:06:22.000 That's a system.

00:06:24.000 And I said, folding and organizing, which seems to take up about half your day every day, is gone from your life.

00:06:31.000 She's never seen my dirty laundry.

00:06:32.000 She's never seen my shit stained drawers.

00:06:34.000 The Chinese people have. 0.84

00:06:37.000 Who is going to be cleaning your toilet, Donald Trump?

00:06:39.000 Oh, that's in the sense that so we only if hypothetically this horrific detail was true that white males are better at systems Though those that list of candidates you have there is fucking dumb and the the Zimbabwean order that is going on in New York City right now where Eric Adams is just hiring black people black women based on the fact like you're talking about what I'm saying is racist Eric

00:07:10.000 Adams is racist.

00:07:11.000 He's hiring just based on race.

00:07:13.000 He's got the worst DA ever.

00:07:14.000 The reason that Bodega owner is facing life in prison for defending himself is because he got a woke DA just because the guy was black.

00:07:22.000 He's a rich black kid from Harlem.

00:07:25.000 And that's our DA.

00:07:26.000 He hired his brother because he said his brother was good at fighting white supremacy.

00:07:30.000 Like it's fucking third world.

00:07:34.000 And that's when you lose meritocracy, your situation declines rapidly.

00:07:40.000 Anyway, I've got some important news to start the day with.

00:07:47.000 We're not starting the show, though.

00:07:50.000 2-4.

00:07:52.000 I want to get this woman for a censored TV if she always agrees to be in this state. 1.00

00:07:57.000 This is how I want the news read to me every day by the kind of girls I used to bang in the bathroom at the bar when I was single. 1.00

00:08:06.000 Excessive heat.

00:08:07.000 And boy, don't you know that.

00:08:09.000 105 degrees in Texas today.

00:08:12.000 I just spoke with my mother.

00:08:13.000 That's what she's dealing with.

00:08:14.000 It's a major heat wave.

00:08:16.000 And it is a little bit more.

00:08:19.000 We're so lucky.

00:08:20.000 It's only 80 degrees here.

00:08:22.000 We are really lucky here in the Capitol region.

00:08:24.000 I'm really telling you about that.

00:08:27.000 These areas are reaching such areas.

00:08:29.000 I mean, it's Houston.

00:08:30.000 These areas are reaching such areas.

00:08:34.000 Wouldn't you love to be told the news like this every day?

00:08:37.000 I'm telling you that it's bad.

00:08:39.000 It's feeling like people are being told to like stay inside.

00:08:43.000 Wait, did you just wear it?

00:08:44.000 Go back.

00:08:45.000 After it's bad, did she go?

00:08:46.000 I'm telling you that it's bad.

00:08:48.000 It's feeling told to like stay inside, drink a lot of water.

00:08:53.000 And we were just lucky.

00:08:55.000 This weekend right here is so amazing.

00:08:58.000 Meteorologist Craig Adams is right here.

00:09:00.000 We're here.

00:09:02.000 Meteorologist Craig Gold is where we're here.

00:09:04.000 This isn't the one where she mentions dead people, though.

00:09:08.000 Where she's just like, so in Ohio, a kid died.

00:09:11.000 Her dad died.

00:09:13.000 Dropped dead as by the end of the day.

00:09:15.000 It was bad.

00:09:15.000 It was like, whoa.

00:09:16.000 I'm sorry, Craig Adams.

00:09:17.000 Why did I say that?

00:09:19.000 Of course, clearly, like here, we're taking a live look over downtown Albany.

00:09:23.000 And of course, just like me, we're all just Craig Gold is working a double shift.

00:09:28.000 And so he's in.

00:09:29.000 And we've been tracking this.

00:09:31.000 And we've been talking about just like what it's been like across the country and the different reasons why it's so hot in other areas.

00:09:40.000 And we're having really nice weather here.

00:09:42.000 So let's get over to Craig Gold.

00:09:44.000 What's his name?

00:09:45.000 Yep, Craig.

00:09:46.000 All right.

00:09:46.000 Good evening, Heather.

00:09:47.000 And yeah, the weather has been quite nice here.

00:09:49.000 He's like, you're fired.

00:09:51.000 Also, in important news, I think I've discovered the worst Instagram account in the world.

00:09:56.000 It took some research.

00:09:57.000 It took some time.

00:09:59.000 But I've discovered it.

00:10:00.000 And I'd like to share it with you.

00:10:02.000 You can maybe start with his full page.

00:10:04.000 This is 1.6.

00:10:06.000 You could start just with his general full.

00:10:08.000 Who the fuck is watching this guy?

00:10:12.000 His name is Kevin Burke.

00:10:15.000 And his most recent post, pull out so we can see them all.

00:10:20.000 Most of his posts are food and his various heart rates.

00:10:27.000 Go to the top left.

00:10:30.000 Like, he must be the most boring man alive.

00:10:33.000 Hand over hand?

00:10:36.000 You mean head?

00:10:38.000 Ugh.

00:10:39.000 So I guess his heart rate's going down.

00:10:42.000 Here's some data about, I guess, him working out on the treadmill, right?

00:10:48.000 Ugh, again.

00:10:49.000 Ugh.

00:10:50.000 I did a bunch of working out.

00:10:53.000 Don't let toxic masculinity keep you away from Dragon Link Peacock Princess. 1.00

00:10:58.000 Okay, this seems to be some sort of shitty, dumb, push-button one-armed bandit game.

00:11:04.000 That looks exciting.

00:11:07.000 He's having some shrimp for dinner at Bugsy and Meyer Steakhouse.

00:11:13.000 Oh, no, no.

00:11:14.000 Sorry, he ordered it.

00:11:15.000 That looks interesting, right?

00:11:16.000 Oh, he's got some steak there, too.

00:11:18.000 Dinner.

00:11:19.000 That's cool.

00:11:21.000 Here's some eggs he got.

00:11:26.000 Fucking Jesus.

00:11:27.000 Like, you ever travel sometimes and you're talking to people and you realize there are people out there that are unimaginably boring.

00:11:37.000 Humor's not in their life.

00:11:39.000 They don't think, they don't like jokes.

00:11:40.000 They don't even know why you would joke.

00:11:42.000 That's just telling a lie.

00:11:44.000 Keep scrolling, Ryan, so we can get excited about this guy.

00:11:49.000 And they watch the news with no opinion either way.

00:11:53.000 They go about their day.

00:11:54.000 They're bald.

00:11:57.000 And they post this to whom?

00:11:59.000 Is this for their doctor?

00:12:01.000 That's not gains, by the way.

00:12:02.000 That's losses.

00:12:04.000 You're losing weight.

00:12:06.000 What's going on?

00:12:07.000 Birthday gains.

00:12:08.000 No, it's not.

00:12:10.000 You've burned.

00:12:12.000 You're losing calories.

00:12:15.000 Gains are when you add muscle, right?

00:12:17.000 Correct.

00:12:18.000 50th anniversary of this iconic photo.

00:12:21.000 Look at that iconic photo.

00:12:23.000 Last time he had hair.

00:12:24.000 Biting a shitty cake.

00:12:28.000 We're the exact same age.

00:12:30.000 That's a nice steak, buddy.

00:12:31.000 Treat yourself.

00:12:32.000 Treat yourself, motherfucker.

00:12:34.000 He kind of talks a little fun.

00:12:37.000 Team minimal increments.

00:12:39.000 Is that spelt wrong?

00:12:40.000 Imagine getting him on the show.

00:12:41.000 Is increments spelled correctly there?

00:12:43.000 I think so.

00:12:45.000 Anyway, I just got tired.

00:12:48.000 He plays penny slightly.

00:12:50.000 I wish we can get a good look at him.

00:12:51.000 Look at him.

00:12:53.000 There he is with hair when he was younger.

00:12:56.000 He looks like Frankie McDonald without...

00:12:58.000 Who is that skinny nerd?

00:13:00.000 And what is he doing with my hair?

00:13:03.000 Throwback Fridays.

00:13:05.000 Goals, some fat chick. 1.00

00:13:07.000 Oh, there he is playing chess.

00:13:10.000 Hey, guys, want to go to Jamaica and play chess?

00:13:13.000 No, thank you.

00:13:14.000 I'd like to go to Jamaica.

00:13:16.000 Oh, here's the iconic photo again.

00:13:18.000 Wow.

00:13:18.000 There it is.

00:13:19.000 There it is, man.

00:13:20.000 It's back.

00:13:22.000 I guess he posts it every birthday of himself.

00:13:26.000 Like, what would you rather do?

00:13:29.000 Kiss a homo on the lips just or hang out with this guy for two hours. 1.00

00:13:37.000 What a weird set of tits he has. 1.00

00:13:39.000 Interesting.

00:13:40.000 Yeah, I mean, he kind of seems like one of those guys, like the friend who's quiet, that you could, you know, like try to get out of their shell.

00:13:47.000 And maybe one night when they're drunk, they're fun, and then they just go right back to you.

00:13:51.000 He's only fun because you're so wasted, he's tolerable.

00:13:54.000 Oh, I see.

00:13:55.000 To tolerate him, you'd have to be shit-face drunk.

00:13:57.000 How did they get pussy? 1.00

00:13:59.000 Why are women there? 1.00

00:14:01.000 I don't understand.

00:14:02.000 Go to the next picture, like on the, to the right there.

00:14:06.000 Me and the guys hanging out.

00:14:09.000 This is the takeaway lesson from here is if you are going to an event where there's a big table with lots of chairs, it's not a time to be polite.

00:14:18.000 It's not a time to go, whatever.

00:14:20.000 You sit down, I'll sit down, whatever.

00:14:21.000 I'm not worried about it.

00:14:24.000 Oh, he's gay. 1.00

00:14:25.000 Drag show. 0.98

00:14:27.000 Is he like a normal gay? 1.00

00:14:30.000 Frida Shallow.

00:14:33.000 Oh, whoa.

00:14:36.000 Learning a lot about this guy quickly.

00:14:38.000 Gays are usually... 1.00

00:14:39.000 You can say a lot of bad things about gay.

00:14:40.000 They're rarely boring.

00:14:42.000 Right.

00:14:42.000 Like the guys last night who were crying when they saw the Mexicans.

00:14:46.000 That was funny.

00:14:48.000 It wasn't boring.

00:14:52.000 Anyway, the lesson that you should gain from this is get aggressive about where you're sitting.

00:14:57.000 You know, when Trump elbowed that guy from Morocco or wherever it was, some dumb Balkans-like Eastern European country? 0.99

00:15:06.000 What was it, Madagascar or some shit?

00:15:09.000 You gotta fucking get in there.

00:15:12.000 Say you have a buddy who's a fun guy.

00:15:14.000 You match up with him.

00:15:16.000 It's like survivor.

00:15:17.000 And you go, we're sitting together.

00:15:18.000 We're sitting together.

00:15:20.000 Don't be nice.

00:15:21.000 Or you will get fucking trampled.

00:15:23.000 I'm usually pro-humble, pro-polite.

00:15:26.000 Let people in front of you sit in a minivan.

00:15:29.000 I'll go to the very, very back corner, take the shitty seat.

00:15:32.000 Other people, I regretted it when we were with Tommy Robinson in Britain, and I realized if a Molotov cocktail comes through this fucking minivan, I'm going to burn alive because we can't.

00:15:42.000 I'm three rows away from the exit.

00:15:45.000 But I won't take the front seat.

00:15:48.000 I'll give it to you.

00:15:49.000 But if it's a dinner, get aggressive or you will end up with Kevin Burke next to you.

00:15:55.000 And you're in for three hours of hell.

00:15:59.000 We have to avoid the Kevin Burks at all costs.

00:16:04.000 Where did you find that guy?

00:16:05.000 Just curious.

00:16:07.000 Long story.

00:16:08.000 It's boring.

00:16:10.000 We're not going to show this video because it's like, I don't know, an hour long, but you've got to see this on your own time.

00:16:15.000 Jim Brewer has gone from the baked guy where he looks stoned all the time and everyone laughs because he has weird eyes to a prophet.

00:16:27.000 Like, I'm sorry.

00:16:28.000 Please don't get mad at me, God.

00:16:30.000 But Jim Brewer's dad dying and his wife getting cancer, I think there's a chip in us that that which does not kill us makes us stronger.

00:16:41.000 He's like a better guy.

00:16:43.000 He's deeper.

00:16:44.000 He's wiser.

00:16:45.000 And it's horrible that your dad died, but he had a good run.

00:16:48.000 And it's horrific that your wife got cancer.

00:16:52.000 But God puts these checks and balances in.

00:16:54.000 Like the atheists always say, okay, there's a God. 0.94

00:16:57.000 Why did that guy's son get hit by a car?

00:17:01.000 The mom and the dad now are insisting there's a stop sign there.

00:17:06.000 And I know that I'm not saying the son has to die for a stop sign, but what I'm saying is for every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction.

00:17:14.000 And yes, it's horrific when people die, especially when they're innocent, especially when they're children.

00:17:18.000 But things come from that.

00:17:21.000 And that's why our lifestyles keep improving and we keep getting better.

00:17:24.000 Now, we're at a point now where it may be getting too good, and the lifespan for the first time since the beginning of civilization is getting shorter because we're also fucking fat and out of shape.

00:17:34.000 But we keep getting better and figuring out how to fix problems.

00:17:40.000 And Jim Brewer's just deep.

00:17:41.000 This is 1-7.

00:17:43.000 So pull back so people can see this.

00:17:46.000 It made me cry last night.

00:17:49.000 No, way back.

00:17:50.000 We want to see the title.

00:17:51.000 It's called Jim Brewer's Got Something Heavy to Say.

00:17:55.000 The Brewer Verse Podcast number 35.

00:17:58.000 What I'm about to put out there.

00:18:02.000 So so many people right now are obsessed.

00:18:10.000 Obsessed.

00:18:14.000 With the world events trying to drag you in.

00:18:18.000 Like a vacuum.

00:18:21.000 Okay, we can't just show a small segment.

00:18:24.000 So you got to see the whole thing.

00:18:25.000 He sets up stuff over a long period of time.

00:18:27.000 But basically, he says, get your head out of the Twitter verse and the minutiae of left, right, my body, my choice, COVID, all this shit that we talk about.

00:18:37.000 And just live your life.

00:18:38.000 And he said, when I found out my wife, who he's been with forever, who gave him three beautiful kids, when he found out she had cancer, his friend, who I think's an atheist, said, aren't you mad?

00:18:48.000 Like, don't you still think God exists?

00:18:49.000 And he's like, no, I'm grateful for every second we have together.

00:18:53.000 I'm grateful that I met her.

00:18:54.000 I'm grateful that I have kids.

00:18:56.000 It's a tear jerk.

00:19:04.000 Also in the news, you guys got to stop sending me people that you think have sprinkles, who don't have sprinkles.

00:19:12.000 I'm going to show you what sprinkles is, okay?

00:19:14.000 Here is a dude on the streets of New York.

00:19:15.000 It's going to make you love New York, too, who is at a 100% success rate.

00:19:20.000 Now, this could be a sizzle reel.

00:19:22.000 He may have edited out some stinkers.

00:19:24.000 But 100% of these do's and don'ts he does, don't come disrespecting me, are out-of-the-park home runs.

00:19:36.000 Check out this fucking dude.

00:19:39.000 Disrespect me just looking like that.

00:19:41.000 And don't ever disrespect me looking like a discombobulated ice tea, you hurt.

00:19:45.000 Don't ever disrespect me looking like the Mucinex Booger, you heard. 1.00

00:19:49.000 Never disrespect me looking like Methadone Jesus, you heard.

00:19:52.000 Don't ever disrespect me looking like an alcoholic Claire Huxtable, you hurt.

00:19:55.000 Disrespect me running from a don't ever disrespect me, you hurt. 0.83

00:19:58.000 Ever disrespect me with the long ass arms, you hurt.

00:20:02.000 Don't ever disrespect me looking like William Dafoe with alapiza, you hurt.

00:20:07.000 Don't ever disrespect me looking like an Egyptian sugar daddy, you hurt.

00:20:10.000 Never disrespect me looking like a can of barbasol, you hurt. 0.91

00:20:14.000 Holy chocolate.

00:20:15.000 Don't ever disrespect me trying to pull off a workers' compensation scheme, you heard.

00:20:19.000 Don't ever disrespect me like you permanently sucking on a lemon. 0.81

00:20:22.000 Hey, yo.

00:20:23.000 Don't ever disrespect me looking like Ray Romano's brother, you hurt.

00:20:26.000 Never disrespect me being scared of the sun, you heard.

00:20:29.000 Never disrespect me eating a beef patty.

00:20:31.000 Hey, yo.

00:20:31.000 What you want?

00:20:34.000 Yo, don't ever disrespect me looking like a fucking bus boy on his day off, you heard?

00:20:39.000 Disrespect me just looking like that.

00:20:41.000 That is so accurate.

00:20:42.000 Fucking quality sniper.

00:20:44.000 Talk about the opposite of Kevin Burke.

00:20:46.000 Who would you rather sit with on a plane, Kevin Burke or that guy?

00:20:51.000 A barbershop can.

00:20:53.000 Holy shit.

00:20:55.000 Actually, no, the plane would be fine because you'd be hanging out, but the best would be the gate.

00:21:00.000 Just sitting with him at the gate.

00:21:02.000 Yeah.

00:21:04.000 Okay, I've got another important thing to discuss.

00:21:08.000 2-3, this guy is stuck in traffic.

00:21:11.000 People are taking...

00:21:12.000 Well, here, I'll just show you the clip.

00:21:15.000 Stop and go traffic.

00:21:17.000 People were using the breakdown lane to cut everybody, right?

00:21:22.000 Until I stopped them.

00:21:24.000 I moved out into the breakdown lane, and I am moving with the regular flow of traffic.

00:21:29.000 These ladies right here, we gave each other the thumbs up, right? 1.00

00:21:33.000 I'm acting as a roadblock of justice.

00:21:36.000 We got a big SUV behind us, keeps flashing his lights at me, honking his horn.

00:21:40.000 Not gonna lie, it's a little intimidating, right?

00:21:44.000 But I'm not moving.

00:21:46.000 You gotta play by the fucking rules.

00:21:50.000 Not all heroes wear capes.

00:21:52.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:21:55.000 Okay.

00:21:55.000 Stop.

00:21:56.000 So let's ask Detective Shitty where he is on these things because he's always wrong.

00:22:00.000 So I'm just gonna choose the opposite of what he says.

00:22:03.000 And remember, you come to this show for information.

00:22:06.000 I have to have done my homework so I can help impart wisdom to you so you don't have to go look it up.

00:22:12.000 But this is the one time you've tuned into the show and I don't have the answer.

00:22:17.000 Let's see if Ryan does.

00:22:18.000 Is that guy a douche, snitch, bitch, or a butt boy? 1.00

00:22:24.000 I'm not sure what a breakdown lane is, so I can't even weigh in on this.

00:22:30.000 Is that just like the shoulder?

00:22:33.000 Was this a joke?

00:22:34.000 Nope.

00:22:35.000 Breakdown lane.

00:22:37.000 Well, it might be a lane where you go if your car breaks down.

00:22:42.000 Oh, okay.

00:22:44.000 Yeah, it's in the name.

00:22:46.000 Yeah, I think he's a hero.

00:22:48.000 I think he's doing the right thing.

00:22:50.000 I think you should abide by the rules.

00:22:51.000 As a butt boy, I think that he did the right thing.

00:22:56.000 Well, I know what I'm sure of.

00:22:58.000 If we're on a plane and someone's trying to get out before me that it is from a roll behind me, I'll die on that hill.

00:23:04.000 I sacrificed my wife to this.

00:23:06.000 She was trying to get before the thing. 1.00

00:23:07.000 I was like, no, no, no, no.

00:23:08.000 Let them go first.

00:23:09.000 She was like, yeah, but they're sitting there.

00:23:11.000 It doesn't matter.

00:23:11.000 They're sitting because they're waiting their turn.

00:23:14.000 And I was like, so your own woman, your own wife is a butter?

00:23:21.000 She tried.

00:23:23.000 Not on my watch.

00:23:24.000 No, not on my watch.

00:23:26.000 I would kill my wife if she butted. 1.00

00:23:28.000 I actually did.

00:23:29.000 You killed your wife?

00:23:30.000 Yes.

00:23:31.000 I'm a single father.

00:23:32.000 Okay, so ladies, we got a single dad here. 1.00

00:23:35.000 If you want to send in your resumes.

00:23:37.000 Oh, no, I'm going to stay.

00:23:39.000 So, yeah, so that's an easy one.

00:23:40.000 We're living in a society, blah, blah, blah.

00:23:42.000 But if someone wants to cheat and take the breakdown lane, I don't know, man.

00:23:49.000 It's a gamble.

00:23:51.000 And if you want to, because you could get caught, it's a big fine.

00:23:54.000 So if someone wants to cheat like that, I don't know.

00:23:57.000 I think I'm going to go against Detective Shitty and say that was a bitch move. 1.00

00:24:02.000 First of all, there's a possibility there's an emergency and someone's having a heart attack.

00:24:07.000 So that's one reason you don't block those people.

00:24:11.000 But it's like someone wants to cheat and break the law.

00:24:15.000 It's against the law to do that.

00:24:18.000 I don't know.

00:24:20.000 Speaking of planes, there was another time when I saw someone had left.

00:24:24.000 This is back when you would watch a DVD on a little machine.

00:24:28.000 It had a little screen.

00:24:29.000 It was like a mini DVD player, right?

00:24:32.000 And this is before you'd have your computer and you'd have rented movies there and all that stuff.

00:24:38.000 And DVDs were popular.

00:24:39.000 So I'm going way back here.

00:24:41.000 I might be going back 15 years.

00:24:43.000 And we were all leaving the plane.

00:24:45.000 We were from the back of the plane.

00:24:46.000 And this guy gets closer to first class, this black guy, and he sees that they left their DVD movie player there.

00:24:53.000 And he grabbed it and put it in his thing and ran out.

00:24:57.000 Now, I was of two minds about that.

00:24:59.000 I still am to this day.

00:25:00.000 It's bothered me ever since.

00:25:02.000 On the one hand, I thought I should fucking say, hey, this guy just stole a DVD movie thing.

00:25:08.000 Stop him, stop him.

00:25:10.000 No one would have done anything.

00:25:12.000 Airports are fucking full of assholes who don't give a shit.

00:25:15.000 But then that also feels like a snitch move, a bitch snitch move. 1.00

00:25:19.000 I don't know the person that he robbed, so it's none of my business.

00:25:24.000 I'm actually leaning now that I bring this back more to the original idea, which was, uh, don't be a snitch.

00:25:32.000 Sorry, you left your thing on the seat.

00:25:34.000 I mean, no one would have done anything.

00:25:36.000 I'd have to tackle him.

00:25:38.000 No, you're right.

00:25:40.000 Because I had to get to work.

00:25:42.000 You know, I woke up.

00:25:43.000 He was black.

00:25:44.000 I woke up late.

00:25:46.000 I had to get to work.

00:25:47.000 No, no, not the DVD player, but the breakdown lane.

00:25:50.000 Oh, you had to get to work in the breakdown lane?

00:25:54.000 If I'm late again, Bach gonna fire me, and now I can't do nothing.

00:25:59.000 Yeah, like, I don't know why I'm so obsessed with airports this episode.

00:26:03.000 I guess we'll call it the airports.

00:26:07.000 But if you're in line to get on the plane and someone's flight is about to leave, I'm annoyed that you waited so long to get here.

00:26:15.000 But fine, go ahead.

00:26:16.000 Go ahead.

00:26:17.000 I don't call that budding.

00:26:19.000 Yeah, we had to.

00:26:20.000 We did that for these people going to Barbados.

00:26:23.000 Like a four-person black family with witchcraft items made of wood. 1.00

00:26:28.000 Here's an easier example.

00:26:29.000 Go to 2.7.

00:26:33.000 This guy just goes into a store and he just starts grabbing shit and you think, just punch him in the face, please.

00:26:41.000 Like kick him in the head.

00:26:42.000 In the good old days, in the 80s, especially in somewhere like Texas, they would just fucking tune this guy up.

00:26:51.000 But we're all scared of getting sued or being criminally charged.

00:26:56.000 So Wawa in Fishtown has to take the hit.

00:27:00.000 Go ahead.

00:27:04.000 Like we're all in a society participating.

00:27:09.000 And he's just like, no.

00:27:13.000 No, this is different than the breakdown lane risk, right?

00:27:18.000 Look, she goes up to him.

00:27:19.000 Ah, fuck it.

00:27:21.000 Finally, this working-class guy in the high-viz goes, what are you doing, man?

00:27:26.000 He just shakes his head.

00:27:30.000 And he's like, I probably should get out of here.

00:27:32.000 See, I'm morally torn about this.

00:27:36.000 No, there's no question here that this is wrong.

00:27:39.000 No, it's wrong.

00:27:40.000 But who is he taking from?

00:27:41.000 These corporations that poison us with their little treats?

00:27:46.000 What, Reese's pieces and halls?

00:27:48.000 Yeah.

00:27:49.000 Chiclets Corporation?

00:27:50.000 They don't need the money.

00:27:51.000 I don't have beef with Reese's.

00:27:53.000 They're killing us, so who cares?

00:27:55.000 So that's different than the breakdown lane, obviously.

00:27:57.000 Like, that guy, you should tune him up just because that's not a rule you break.

00:28:01.000 The thing with the breakdown lane is it's not really hurting anyone, per se.

00:28:06.000 And the butting-in-line thing, you're hurting other people.

00:28:09.000 You're cheating.

00:28:10.000 You're taking their spot.

00:28:14.000 All right, this is a weird show.

00:28:17.000 Are we pro-Robin Hood?

00:28:19.000 Was Robin Hood kind of an asshole?

00:28:24.000 Well, it's all about context.

00:28:26.000 I mean, back then, you had these lords that were strangling the peasants and demanding all kinds of stupid taxes.

00:28:31.000 And you couldn't own land in England back then.

00:28:34.000 You had to rent it from a lord.

00:28:36.000 What if there's people stealing gas?

00:28:40.000 Stealing gas.

00:28:41.000 Does this seem like a moral?

00:28:43.000 No, a gas station is suffering from that.

00:28:46.000 Good point.

00:28:47.000 Where are they stealing it from?

00:28:49.000 Like a Costco gas station.

00:28:53.000 Is this person you're talking about Puerto Rican and Japanese?

00:28:56.000 No.

00:28:57.000 Japanese and Puerto Rican.

00:28:58.000 No, I don't steal gas.

00:29:00.000 Yeah, how do you steal this gas?

00:29:02.000 Well, here's the thing.

00:29:03.000 What about Michael Frances?

00:29:05.000 What's with your fucking hair?

00:29:07.000 Grew.

00:29:09.000 Your hair is in your eyes.

00:29:10.000 You know who does that?

00:29:11.000 15-year-old girls, goth girls.

00:29:14.000 I'm a father.

00:29:15.000 I'm taking it back.

00:29:16.000 You're a grown man.

00:29:17.000 This is 1970s.

00:29:20.000 Yeah, 1970s children.

00:29:22.000 No.

00:29:23.000 Teens.

00:29:23.000 Charles Bronson had bangs.

00:29:24.000 Charles Bronson's hair wasn't in his fucking eyes.

00:29:30.000 There we go.

00:29:32.000 So Michael Francais, he didn't steal gas, but he took all the tax money from the gas.

00:29:41.000 So he was making about like $4 million a month on stealing just from the government, supplying people gas, cheaper gas.

00:29:50.000 He was in the mafia.

00:29:52.000 He's a guy who got out of the mafia, and he's clean now.

00:29:55.000 He goes around talking about it.

00:29:56.000 You've probably seen a couple of his videos online.

00:29:58.000 Is that morally wrong, just stealing directly from the government?

00:30:01.000 Because I don't really think so.

00:30:02.000 I'm not really hurt by that idea.

00:30:05.000 How do you do that, though?

00:30:07.000 He got shipments of gas, and instead of taxing it, he evaded the taxes and was going under the government radar, essentially.

00:30:18.000 So he was privately selling gas to gas stations?

00:30:20.000 Yeah.

00:30:21.000 That he stole?

00:30:22.000 Yeah.

00:30:23.000 Well, someone's got to pay for that somewhere down the line, and it's not going to be the government.

00:30:26.000 I think it's going to be the insurance companies.

00:30:28.000 It's not as simple as the government just goes, oh, well, we'll take a hit on this one.

00:30:32.000 Yeah, right.

00:30:33.000 That's true.

00:30:37.000 Okay, I think we're ready to start the show.

00:30:41.000 Right?

00:30:41.000 Yeah, let's do it.

00:30:43.000 Okay.

00:30:44.000 Here we go.

00:30:45.000 We start the show.

00:30:52.000 Let's start the show.

00:30:58.000 What a weird, all-over-the-place intro that was.

00:31:01.000 Correct.

00:31:02.000 It was very confusing.

00:31:03.000 We talked about morality and white supremacy in the field of systems.

00:31:11.000 Strange.

00:31:12.000 Strange.

00:31:12.000 I think if I was a professor, the students would be walking out of that class going, what the fuck just happened?

00:31:20.000 All right, let's start the show with some good old-fashioned racism. 1.00

00:31:26.000 I'm a black female.

00:31:28.000 What other different, what else could I have done to piss you off?

00:31:32.000 Black woman? 1.00

00:31:34.000 This is really inconvenient.

00:31:50.000 Ben Stein is not happy about black crime in Beverly Hills.

00:31:54.000 Now, he's a very politically correct dude.

00:31:56.000 He once had a big fight with Anthony because on Opie and Anthony, Anthony said, Jew me down.

00:32:05.000 Talking to you.

00:32:06.000 Oh.

00:32:06.000 Do you remember that?

00:32:07.000 I think so.

00:32:08.000 I also remember they hung up on him straight out.

00:32:11.000 No, he hung up on them.

00:32:13.000 Then there was another time where they're like, we have Ben Steinle on the back of the bottom.

00:32:15.000 What is with your hair has gone back?

00:32:18.000 You readjusted it?

00:32:20.000 They were like, what did you do?

00:32:21.000 So after you went away, you started fluffing your bangs again?

00:32:24.000 I think it fell into place.

00:32:26.000 It fell?

00:32:28.000 Your fucking jufro fell?

00:32:30.000 If we time-lapse it.

00:32:34.000 It's not falling, and it's been about three days.

00:32:39.000 They hung up on him?

00:32:40.000 Yeah, it was his birthday.

00:32:41.000 They're like, Ben Stein on the line.

00:32:42.000 It's his birthday.

00:32:43.000 And he's like, hi, guys.

00:32:45.000 And just Opie just hangs up on him.

00:32:46.000 They're like, Thanks, Ben Stein.

00:32:50.000 That's funny.

00:32:50.000 Opie did something funny?

00:32:52.000 That was his bit.

00:32:53.000 Either throwing shit, getting stuff from people, and then breaking it, or hanging up on them.

00:32:58.000 Oh, wow.

00:32:59.000 Or stomping cakes of homeless people.

00:33:00.000 That sounds hilarious.

00:33:01.000 Opie the destroyer.

00:33:03.000 So let's see what Ben Stein has to say about black crime in Beverly Hills.

00:33:06.000 Jesus, he is melting.

00:33:08.000 Someone turn on the AC.

00:33:11.000 Look at him.

00:33:11.000 He's a fucking melting ice cream cake.

00:33:14.000 How dare you disrespect me about being an ice cream cake melting?

00:33:17.000 I'm doing you right now on the three days after Christmas in the lobby of the Beverly Hills Hotel, one of the most beautiful hotels in the world as far as I'm aware.

00:33:27.000 And I want to talk about crime.

00:33:30.000 When I moved here in 1976, this was a very safe city.

00:33:35.000 And Beverly Hills was one of the safest places in that city.

00:33:39.000 In fact, I think for a large city, it was probably the safest city in the United States of America.

00:33:46.000 And that's changed dramatically.

00:33:48.000 And here's what's going on.

00:33:50.000 For some reason, which would take a lot of explaining, but it could be explained, the government decides to basically stop punishing black people who commit crimes.

00:34:02.000 And black people can commit crimes and not be prosecuted for it. 0.99

00:34:07.000 Yes, they're embarrassed, at least to a small extent.

00:34:11.000 And yes, their parents are mad at them.

00:34:13.000 But they do not get away with anything less than murder.

00:34:20.000 And this is a shocking thing.

00:34:21.000 This is a very bad thing.

00:34:23.000 So we have gone from a city where people are happy, they go around with their doors unlocked, to fear.

00:34:30.000 And we have become a city of fear.

00:34:32.000 And that is an extremely bad city.

00:34:36.000 I think he's exaggerating.

00:34:38.000 We have some footage of some kids outside of his house just hanging around, having fun, 3-1.

00:34:44.000 And it doesn't seem that bad.

00:34:47.000 I mean, it's not threatening.

00:34:49.000 It's just not a great neighborhood.

00:35:08.000 I'm frying his ass in his fry Oreo head ass.

00:35:14.000 Can't anyone bother getting dressed?

00:35:20.000 They're just not nude.

00:35:22.000 That's their goal for the day.

00:35:25.000 This being not nude.

00:35:26.000 Now, that was in St. Louis.

00:35:29.000 Check out like that's a serious cultural problem there.

00:35:38.000 And in San Francisco, you can almost see how you would get to be that aggressive and shitty, 3-0, when this is the world you're living in.

00:35:50.000 All right, kids coming home.

00:35:51.000 They're on a public school bus in San Francisco.

00:35:54.000 All right, get home safe, kids.

00:35:58.000 Your nice walk home.

00:35:59.000 What's up, kids?

00:36:00.000 Oh, they're making gun signs.

00:36:03.000 Boop, boop, pop, pop, pop. 0.70

00:36:05.000 How do they get so aggressive?

00:36:09.000 Where are they growing up?

00:36:11.000 What's the neighborhood like?

00:36:14.000 The neighborhood is actually in a third world country full of zombies.

00:36:19.000 Look at that shit.

00:36:21.000 Look at that fucked up dude.

00:36:24.000 Hiding their faces.

00:36:25.000 You don't have to hide your face.

00:36:27.000 You don't have anyone who cares about you.

00:36:29.000 This shit is crazy.

00:36:31.000 You gotta walk.

00:36:32.000 Look at his fucking dumb face.

00:36:34.000 They gotta walk through that.

00:36:35.000 It's crazy, yo.

00:36:36.000 It's crazy.

00:36:37.000 What an irritating white affectation. 0.90

00:36:45.000 And then we, so that's the situation these African Americans are in, and they've decided to blame it on cops. 0.83

00:36:53.000 I just want to show you what cops are doing in the interim while everyone calls them pieces of shit.

00:36:58.000 We do blacks behaving badly. 1.00

00:37:00.000 Let's do some cops behaving well.

00:37:02.000 Here they are, 3-2, rescuing people from a burning building.

00:37:06.000 They're jumping into the cops' arms.

00:37:09.000 Look at that.

00:37:10.000 Like you're risking broken limbs when you catch a person from what appears to be about 15 feet, 20 feet.

00:37:32.000 Let go, let go.

00:37:34.000 What a great camera person.

00:37:38.000 Oh, shit, it's little kids.

00:37:52.000 Look at those pigs. 1.00

00:37:54.000 Defund the police.

00:37:56.000 We don't need cops. 0.69

00:37:58.000 Just get like a trampoline.

00:38:01.000 Bouncy castle.

00:38:02.000 Let's replace cops with bouncy castles. 1.00

00:38:05.000 And then this chorus 3-3, getting a man from a burning car.

00:38:10.000 And the thing about pulling a man out of a burning car is that car could go at any second.

00:38:15.000 So, I mean, if this guy hates you, when he was a kid, he was spitting on you in his underwear, talking about your ugly-ass shoes and saying, fuck you, bitch.

00:38:26.000 But when you're in trouble and your car's on fire, we're here to help.

00:38:36.000 Look at this shit.

00:38:38.000 Like, any second now, that could be boom.

00:38:44.000 And it's not a small fire either.

00:38:48.000 How can you, you can't get out.

00:38:51.000 I got to drag your big fat ass out. 1.00

00:38:56.000 And then finally, this one's much longer.

00:38:59.000 Look at this Waste of space.

00:39:00.000 So he's got expired plates.

00:39:02.000 He doesn't want to, I don't know, pay the $100 fine.

00:39:05.000 So he decides to go on a fucking raging chase.

00:39:10.000 Is that the beginning?

00:39:11.000 Yep.

00:39:13.000 Jesus, our drone shots are getting pretty good, aren't they?

00:39:16.000 What's that?

00:39:17.000 Two miles in the air?

00:39:20.000 Hey, buddy, I got it.

00:39:21.000 No, no, your plate.

00:39:22.000 Yeah.

00:39:25.000 So he goes, just, I'm going to beat the cop.

00:39:29.000 And how many people's lives are you putting in danger, by the way, when you start, when you take off at 100 miles an hour?

00:39:36.000 There's a kid on a bike?

00:39:39.000 He's dead.

00:39:40.000 That didn't happen, but it could have.

00:39:42.000 All of that incoming traffic putting their lives in jeopardy?

00:39:46.000 For what?

00:39:48.000 Because you didn't get your fucking license plate renewed?

00:39:51.000 You didn't register your vehicle?

00:39:53.000 It's not expensive.

00:39:54.000 It's not hard rules here.

00:39:57.000 Illegals do it. 1.00

00:39:58.000 Look, uh-oh.

00:40:00.000 I'm going to overtake this guy.

00:40:03.000 Okay.

00:40:04.000 Risking all this oncoming traffic.

00:40:06.000 It's a double yellow.

00:40:10.000 The fleeing driver was headed north to the South Ben Leys.

00:40:14.000 To swerve to avoid being struck.

00:40:17.000 That person could have been dead.

00:40:19.000 Could have been killed.

00:40:22.000 Uh-oh.

00:40:24.000 Putting all those lives in danger.

00:40:27.000 Is this long?

00:40:28.000 I want him to crash.

00:40:33.000 What a job they have.

00:40:35.000 Like, I got to deal with this human garbage now.

00:40:39.000 Now he's going the wrong way in the wrong lane.

00:40:44.000 So, inevitably, he's going to have to swerve out of the way.

00:40:50.000 Are you fast-forwarding or are they?

00:40:52.000 They.

00:40:54.000 So we're going and going.

00:40:55.000 I would say about 20 lives in jeopardy so far.

00:40:58.000 And he's off.

00:40:59.000 Loses control of the vehicle.

00:41:04.000 Now this cop is risking a head-on, by the way.

00:41:07.000 Like, he's lucky that guy stopped.

00:41:09.000 Look at the debris.

00:41:11.000 What a fucking waste of humanity.

00:41:15.000 This is the best argument for abortion I've ever seen.

00:41:20.000 And now you're risking getting shot.

00:41:23.000 They will shoot at cops.

00:41:27.000 Just pause that for a second.

00:41:29.000 Can we come back to it?

00:41:30.000 Go to 3.5.

00:41:32.000 This is life in New York City these days.

00:41:34.000 They just shoot at cops because they're not going to go to jail.

00:41:38.000 Why not?

00:41:38.000 Fucking shoot at a pig.

00:41:40.000 I fucking hate pigs.

00:41:41.000 They're not catching me.

00:41:42.000 They can't arrest me if you're dead.

00:41:46.000 Wait, is this the right one?

00:41:48.000 Was this 3.5?

00:41:53.000 Oh, shit.

00:41:59.000 I think Ian Miles Chong had it.

00:42:01.000 Did he?

00:42:03.000 Yeah, he said something like, so people just shoot at cops.

00:42:05.000 They're not getting cops now, yeah.

00:42:06.000 Well, anyway, you find that and go back to the first video where the guy's now worried about getting shot because that happens all the time in these chases.

00:42:13.000 The guy obviously is determined not to go to jail.

00:42:15.000 So if anyone's going to shoot you, it's going to be someone at the end of a high-speed chase.

00:42:18.000 That's what just happened with these riots in, where was it now?

00:42:22.000 Akron, Ohio?

00:42:23.000 Where the guy gets out.

00:42:24.000 He's a mask on.

00:42:25.000 He's already shot at cops.

00:42:27.000 So he says, I want to see your hands.

00:42:29.000 He's claiming no injuries, but keep them rolling.

00:42:32.000 Let me back up now.

00:42:33.000 Why are you running from me?

00:42:36.000 The plates were just expired.

00:42:37.000 Give me hands where I can see them.

00:42:39.000 I'm fine.

00:42:39.000 Please let me get out.

00:42:41.000 Please help me.

00:42:41.000 I don't know.

00:42:42.000 I'm going to try, man.

00:42:43.000 I'm going to try.

00:42:45.000 All right.

00:42:45.000 I swear to God, I ain't got no good or no shit.

00:42:49.000 I swear to God.

00:42:49.000 All right.

00:42:50.000 Are you able to move?

00:42:51.000 Stop being fat, everyone.

00:42:53.000 Slide over this way.

00:42:54.000 Slide your upper half over here. 0.60

00:42:57.000 How the fuck did his leg get up?

00:42:59.000 We're going to need extraction.

00:43:01.000 Oh, it must have.

00:43:02.000 I bet it rolled a bit.

00:43:04.000 Or maybe even did a 360.

00:43:09.000 I don't want you getting too badly hurt, man.

00:43:14.000 Way to go, 39-year-old grown man.

00:43:18.000 Yes, it was.

00:43:19.000 Look at the damage you've caused.

00:43:21.000 What hurts?

00:43:21.000 Because you didn't want to register your fucking vehicle.

00:43:25.000 These cops are really just daycare workers for adult babies. 0.85

00:43:30.000 Wait, move it forward a little bit.

00:43:34.000 Turn your body.

00:43:34.000 Turn your body and start scooting.

00:43:36.000 Come on.

00:43:36.000 We need to get you out.

00:43:38.000 Come on.

00:43:38.000 Keep coming.

00:43:38.000 Wait, wait, go back, go back.

00:43:40.000 He's moving like a torpid sloth until the guy goes, uh-oh, your car's on fire.

00:43:46.000 Shit, come on. 0.69

00:43:47.000 Scoot this way. 0.98

00:43:48.000 Your car's on fire, man.

00:43:49.000 Come on.

00:43:49.000 Oh, shit.

00:43:50.000 My car's on fire?

00:43:51.000 Okay, I'm springing to life.

00:43:54.000 Start.

00:43:54.000 Turn your body.

00:43:55.000 Turn your body and start scooting.

00:43:56.000 Come on.

00:43:57.000 Get out.

00:43:58.000 Keep going.

00:43:59.000 Keep coming.

00:43:59.000 Get out, Bismarck.

00:44:00.000 Keep coming.

00:44:01.000 Beatbox your way out of there.

00:44:03.000 I got you.

00:44:03.000 Oh, gorgeous ass.

00:44:04.000 That was like Lizzo.

00:44:07.000 Look, he's about to explode, and his first part is to pull his pants up.

00:44:12.000 Stand up, boss.

00:44:14.000 Don't worry about your pants.

00:44:15.000 Give me your hands. 0.99

00:44:15.000 Get away from this car. 0.99

00:44:18.000 Oh, don't worry about your power.

00:44:19.000 Look, they could all be killed if the car blows up.

00:44:21.000 And he's sitting there pulling his pants up.

00:44:25.000 We can see your bottom, sir.

00:44:26.000 It's okay.

00:44:29.000 What is this move now?

00:44:32.000 Like, that's how you would treat a baby.

00:44:35.000 Right?

00:44:36.000 It would lie on its back and you'd have to get it up.

00:44:42.000 Did you get the thing?

00:44:44.000 I got a couple.

00:44:48.000 Here's one.

00:44:51.000 This is brand new.

00:44:52.000 At least five shot, one fatally overnight in New York City.

00:44:56.000 Nope.

00:44:57.000 Okay.

00:44:57.000 Two killed.

00:44:59.000 And shoot us with NYPD officers on the hedge man.

00:45:02.000 That's the one we can't find.

00:45:04.000 The particular NYPD cop being shot at within the past three days.

00:45:08.000 I'm not criticizing you.

00:45:09.000 I'm saying there's so many.

00:45:10.000 There are a lot.

00:45:12.000 I remember it looked like the Bronx.

00:45:16.000 Yeah, it looks like our neighborhood.

00:45:17.000 Wait, this is it.

00:45:18.000 Oh, good.

00:45:21.000 We're like ghost hunters, but it's clips of black shooting cops. 0.78

00:45:29.000 Were you tired of doing our partner running around?

00:45:37.000 Whoa.

00:45:39.000 Wait, you gotta hear the audio.

00:45:40.000 They're laughing like they're watching a funny video game, which I guess they are.

00:45:56.000 He really shot at the cops.

00:45:58.000 I don't know if he fell after being shot in the head, dead, or if he fell after being shot in the vest, or if he's diving.

00:46:11.000 I know that those guys think it's funny.

00:46:16.000 Okay, this is something I've been meaning to get to for a while.

00:46:18.000 It is so good.

00:46:23.000 Woman King, featuring a 57-year-old woman as an athletic warrior, and it's about a tribe called the Dahomey tribe.

00:46:33.000 Down with Dahomies. 1.00

00:46:34.000 Now, the thing about Dahomies is, in Africa, they invented slavery. 1.00

00:46:42.000 They rounded up.

00:46:44.000 They were a conquering tribe.

00:46:45.000 They were a nomadic tribe.

00:46:46.000 I'm sorry about this.

00:46:51.000 I've had a cough like a tickly cough.

00:46:53.000 So has my wife ever since we got COVID.

00:46:56.000 Thanks, China.

00:46:57.000 Thanks for declaring war on the world and starting a global pandemic that has cost us trillions.

00:47:04.000 It's cost us cultural shifts.

00:47:07.000 It's cost us childhoods.

00:47:09.000 It's cost us friendships, relationships with our families, millions of deaths.

00:47:14.000 And we go, well, we can't blame China.

00:47:17.000 Yes, I blame China.

00:47:18.000 Well, that's going to cause Asian hate. 1.00

00:47:20.000 No.

00:47:21.000 When you see a Chinese American, you high-five him.

00:47:23.000 You made it out of that shithole.

00:47:25.000 Congratulations.

00:47:26.000 Welcome to the West.

00:47:29.000 Fuck, the way that we fucking let China, Biden just keeps agreeing with these people, this country that has declared war. 0.66

00:47:38.000 Remember what was World War I?

00:47:39.000 Some dude with a fucking fancy mustache got popped and the whole world had to pay?

00:47:44.000 This is a little bigger than Baron von Schnoopenpants, who started World War I. Anyway, this tribe, a conquerors, is that a word?

00:47:57.000 A colonialist tribe, evil tribe. 0.98

00:48:00.000 That's the funny thing about African history, too. 0.74

00:48:02.000 They're all just like, please don't shoot.

00:48:04.000 Why do you eat the poo-poo? 0.98

00:48:06.000 No, no, no.

00:48:07.000 I want to be friends.

00:48:09.000 I'm just sitting here playing with lions.

00:48:11.000 No, there was like three main tribes and then a bunch of smaller tribes.

00:48:17.000 But one of them was the equivalent of what everyone calls the white colonists.

00:48:21.000 They dominated the whole continent.

00:48:22.000 And not only would they kill everything in their past, but they would convert them to slaves and then sell them.

00:48:28.000 That was their trade.

00:48:29.000 That's their history.

00:48:31.000 That's the Dahomies. 1.00

00:48:34.000 This movie just neglects that part and makes them the victims.

00:48:40.000 And the white man, the bad guy, there to steal slaves.

00:48:43.000 So this movie's crazy because in this world, which if it were to be true, the white man would be buying slaves from this bitch. 1.00

00:48:52.000 What's her fucking name again? 1.00

00:48:54.000 The queen of Blackding?

00:48:56.000 Play it.

00:49:03.000 The woman king.

00:49:05.000 Queen's not good enough, anyone. 0.84

00:49:08.000 An evil is coming.

00:49:10.000 A customer, you mean?

00:49:11.000 That threatens our kingdom.

00:49:16.000 Our freedom.

00:49:19.000 Ding-dong. 0.94

00:49:20.000 Hi, we're open for business.

00:49:26.000 They are not prepared for white unicorn pegasus, whatever.

00:49:34.000 My king.

00:49:35.000 Look at these customers coming to buy us products.

00:49:38.000 They will not stop until the whole of Africa is theirs. 1.00

00:49:44.000 We must fight back for our people.

00:49:49.000 The fact that a woman older than me is portrayed as an action hero.

00:49:53.000 What's her name again?

00:49:54.000 I have no idea who that is.

00:49:56.000 Yes, you do.

00:49:57.000 Oprah?

00:49:58.000 Oh, that's fucking...

00:50:01.000 She was in Hidden Figures.

00:50:05.000 She did that movie Denzo Washington.

00:50:06.000 She's like the number one black actress in the country. 0.70

00:50:10.000 I got it.

00:50:16.000 This is such horseshit.

00:50:17.000 You know why they used women? 1.00

00:50:19.000 Because they were such a savage, murderous tribe that the men were dying.

00:50:24.000 So they started training women, just like the Japanese towards the end of World War II. 0.88

00:50:27.000 Viola Davis.

00:50:29.000 What's her name?

00:50:29.000 Viola Davis.

00:50:30.000 That's it.

00:50:31.000 Well, who is that?

00:50:31.000 Eyebrows McGillicuddy?

00:50:35.000 Oh, that was the new James Bonchick.

00:50:36.000 Damn, that is.

00:50:37.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:50:37.000 She's terrible.

00:50:39.000 That is homely.

00:50:40.000 And do you know why the Dahomey had a real problem with the white man, the British?

00:50:45.000 Guess why they've really felt threatened.

00:50:47.000 In reality, I'm not talking about the movie.

00:50:49.000 Because the British said, guys, we've got to stop it with the slavery shit.

00:50:52.000 You're murdering other tribes and you're selling them as slaves. 0.99

00:50:56.000 It's ethically wrong.

00:50:57.000 It's morally wrong.

00:50:59.000 Fuck you.

00:51:02.000 I think there was a quote about it where he said, the king of the Dahomis said, I can't believe they're called Dahomis.

00:51:12.000 He said, it is a culture to dominate our enemies and turn them to slaves.

00:51:18.000 If we are to take that away, you take away our culture.

00:51:23.000 I mean, we're rewriting history here.

00:51:27.000 It's fucking insane.

00:51:30.000 This is the opposite of what happened.

00:51:35.000 No, we're going to keep getting slaves. 0.94

00:51:40.000 Just check out the Wikipedia of Dahomis.

00:51:44.000 D-A-H-O-M-E-Y. 1.00

00:51:47.000 What a fucking ridiculous pile of shit.

00:51:53.000 Alright, that's some fun stuff.

00:51:56.000 Let's do a brief...

00:51:57.000 Dahomey Amazons. 1.00

00:51:59.000 Shall we do this now?

00:52:00.000 What are we?

00:52:05.000 There's another...

00:52:06.000 Oh, look at this.

00:52:07.000 This must be another trailer for something else.

00:52:11.000 This is.

00:52:13.000 Yeah.

00:52:14.000 Dahomey's tribe. 0.99

00:52:17.000 This is the modern day.

00:52:19.000 I guess it's inspiring that they're lineage kind of.

00:52:23.000 Yeah.

00:52:25.000 Kind of keeps.

00:52:27.000 I had more.

00:52:30.000 I think it's time for the mailbag.

00:52:32.000 Okay.

00:52:33.000 Yeah.

00:52:35.000 We'll see what Dahomey's wrote into us. 1.00

00:52:38.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.

00:52:43.000 Let's turn our eyes together.

00:52:48.000 Let me touch it.

00:52:52.000 Ryan, shut up.

00:52:54.000 You don't have a fag.

00:52:57.000 Thank you.

00:53:05.000 Someone telling us the in the beginning video is fake.

00:53:08.000 Yes, we're aware.

00:53:09.000 We've covered that.

00:53:10.000 Very sad.

00:53:11.000 A lot of people send me shit that we've covered.

00:53:13.000 Or bands.

00:53:14.000 You should check out this band.

00:53:15.000 And it's like, yeah, we talked about them for an hour one day.

00:53:18.000 To be fair, I don't think we brought that to the show.

00:53:20.000 The Beningang. 0.97

00:53:21.000 That was just us.

00:53:22.000 Oh, really?

00:53:23.000 Yeah.

00:53:27.000 Okay, well, then...

00:53:28.000 Are you sure?

00:53:29.000 Yeah, it was just you and me in the office.

00:53:31.000 Oh, okay.

00:53:32.000 I should stop talking to you and Anthony because I'm getting confused about what was said on the air and what was said in private.

00:53:40.000 What's shooting, what's at work?

00:53:43.000 Like the last time I went with Anthony after the Wednesday show, I'm just like, this is all, we're wasting gold.

00:53:49.000 Yeah.

00:53:49.000 Wasting gold.

00:53:51.000 We should talk about...

00:53:52.000 Whenever we're on the loan with Anthony, I'm like, let's just talk about our finances, how many subscribers we have, how to get that up, our job, like how to make the shows better.

00:54:02.000 Things that I know we wouldn't have said on air.

00:54:05.000 No, think, because you know what happens?

00:54:07.000 You say something fat ass? 1.00

00:54:08.000 You say something really, really funny, and you're like, all right, we have to air that out.

00:54:12.000 I don't care if it's private.

00:54:14.000 That's a great fun.

00:54:15.000 And then there's nothing less funny or fun than saying something funny and going, that's good.

00:54:19.000 I got to write that down.

00:54:20.000 Yeah.

00:54:21.000 By the way, I said our girlfriends because he doesn't have a wife.

00:54:23.000 I don't have a girlfriend.

00:54:24.000 Calm down.

00:54:25.000 Right, right, right.

00:54:26.000 Okay, he's got a clip of what it's really from.

00:54:30.000 Okay.

00:54:33.000 This is in the beginning.

00:54:36.000 In the beginning, we announced that our membership figures stood at 769,800,

00:54:54.000 listen properly, 769,820,000.

00:55:11.000 And seven members down from 100.2 million in 2012.

00:55:22.000 Wait, it went down from 100 million to 700,000?

00:55:27.000 That's quite a drop there, Jacob.

00:55:29.000 Yeah, he doesn't do much better when things aren't being recorded.

00:55:36.000 Holy shit.

00:55:37.000 The top pre-orders, I just got this from the guy who did Alex's War, in the country right now are Top Gun, Maverick, Jurassic World, Justice League, Alex's War, Elvis, and Man of God.

00:55:53.000 The budget for Alex's War was definitely under a million dollars.

00:55:57.000 Jurassic World was, I think, $160 million.

00:56:01.000 And it sucked.

00:56:02.000 Oh, it sucked?

00:56:03.000 Oh, my God.

00:56:05.000 Yeah, Jurassic was $150 million.

00:56:09.000 Isn't that fascinating?

00:56:10.000 It used to be the more money you spend on a movie, the better it is.

00:56:14.000 Nope.

00:56:15.000 And that's one good thing about the pandemic.

00:56:17.000 We got so used to Zoom calls and everything, we don't demand super cinematography.

00:56:23.000 Oh, God, I just got mad.

00:56:25.000 That fucking movie, that lie, Woman King, is going to cause more knockout games, more anger, more racial division. 1.00

00:56:36.000 Imagine it was true.

00:56:38.000 You could have totally fucking recalibrated a million myths and shown people what slavery was really all about.

00:56:45.000 It was an African thing.

00:56:47.000 We dipped our toes in it because it was there, but it was Jews, Arabs, blacks.

00:56:52.000 It was Middle Easterners doing it. 1.00

00:56:54.000 They're still doing it now.

00:56:55.000 You can go to Libya, get a man for 400 bucks. 0.99

00:56:57.000 You're guilty of cultural appropriation at best.

00:57:00.000 Yeah.

00:57:03.000 You took a culture away.

00:57:05.000 And when we tried to tell you to stop, you fucking got real mad, especially Dahomey. 1.00

00:57:12.000 Dog fucker, if your bucket list contains blowing prairie dogs, schedule a show near Denver.

00:57:18.000 Oh, that's some good advice.

00:57:21.000 That is one thing I intend to do before I die is perform fellatio on a prairie dog.

00:57:29.000 Sucking on a prairie dog.

00:57:30.000 To fruition.

00:57:33.000 And I'm going to be playing Jack and Diane in the background.

00:57:38.000 Here's a submission for our cognitive dissidents competition by my buddy.

00:57:44.000 I don't like how big Ryan is.

00:57:47.000 Makes him look equal to these legends.

00:57:53.000 Here's a really good.

00:57:54.000 I think we have a winner.

00:57:55.000 Yeah, this one's great.

00:57:57.000 This is amazing.

00:57:58.000 Sorry, Chris.

00:57:58.000 At the maven.

00:58:00.000 Whoa.

00:58:01.000 Come pick up your prize money at the door, sir.

00:58:04.000 You nailed it.

00:58:12.000 They're grooming our kids.

00:58:13.000 I didn't believe this until I did it.

00:58:15.000 Go onto Instagram.

00:58:17.000 Onto is not one word, my friend.

00:58:20.000 And search the word Fortnite.

00:58:22.000 Now go to accounts.

00:58:24.000 Okay?

00:58:26.000 Should we bother doing that now?

00:58:37.000 How are we doing?

00:58:39.000 Fortnite, no results.

00:58:40.000 Isn't that how you spell it?

00:58:41.000 Yeah?

00:58:42.000 No results?

00:58:44.000 Fortnite.

00:58:47.000 How could Fortnite have no results?

00:58:50.000 What are we doing wrong?

00:58:51.000 Are the kids spelling it wrong?

00:58:56.000 How do you spell Fortnite?

00:58:58.000 I thought they spell it with a T. Yeah, it's F-O-R-T-N-I-T-E. 1.00

00:59:05.000 Yeah, let me check on the other computer.

00:59:06.000 Could be some bullshit going on.

00:59:08.000 Uh-da-ba-da-ba-dee. 1.00

00:59:12.000 She did stab him.

00:59:13.000 Yes, we covered that.

00:59:19.000 Maybe hashtag first?

00:59:23.000 Usually something comes up, Fortnite, and then go to accounts.

00:59:27.000 But now we're following the hashtag.

00:59:29.000 Still no result.

00:59:30.000 Oh, there we go.

00:59:31.000 What the fuck?

00:59:32.000 How did they go to accounts?

00:59:33.000 Oh, yeah, that's wrong.

00:59:36.000 Huh.

00:59:37.000 Huh?

00:59:38.000 Maybe horrors are just...

00:59:39.000 They just know that people are going to watch that.

00:59:42.000 Oh, so it's OnlyFans Girls or something?

00:59:44.000 Click on that girl below Max Headroom.

00:59:48.000 Pornhub.

00:59:49.000 And where are the tags?

00:59:52.000 Can't see them?

00:59:53.000 I guess they're metadated.

00:59:55.000 What is going on here?

00:59:56.000 This is weird.

00:59:57.000 No, it looks like these chicks aren't even tagging Fortnite. 1.00

01:00:02.000 Indians, of course.

01:00:03.000 Well, you're going to get those.

01:00:10.000 Yeah, there's nothing Fortnite-y about that.

01:00:13.000 It's weird while I'm researching pedophilia, I'm also going, nice tits. 1.00

01:00:20.000 All right.

01:00:21.000 Did I show you that in Fortnite?

01:00:26.000 Last I saw, pretty recently, it said there's like a call me, there's gestures like in dances and stuff, and then one of the gestures is call me, and then under the subtitle is seriously, send me a DM.

01:00:41.000 What are you talking about?

01:00:42.000 So it's like it's getting kids.

01:00:43.000 So there are things you could do, gestures.

01:00:45.000 Like if we're in a team or something like that, I could gesture like this.

01:00:49.000 And that means like DM me.

01:00:52.000 And these are all like, in the target market's like 14, right?

01:00:57.000 Huh.

01:00:58.000 So they're encouraging kids to...

01:01:00.000 Now, just to play devil's advocate, because I don't want to believe that they're trying to fuck kids everywhere.

01:01:06.000 Maybe they're trying to get kids to come to their OnlyFans so they can charge them.

01:01:10.000 And they know teenage boys are horniest, so they're going for teenage boys.

01:01:15.000 Abes, please.

01:01:18.000 Perhaps this is ancient Chinese secret, but here is yet another reason China will prevail against the West. 0.99

01:01:22.000 They limit three hours a day if you're under 18.

01:01:25.000 We are completely and indefinitely screwed.

01:01:27.000 They send us drugs and basically run our economy and ruin the West, but ensure they will prevail by setting rules and regulations such as these.

01:01:34.000 This is under China will win. 1.00

01:01:38.000 Yeah, I mean, it's good to not play online video games during the week, but I don't want the government doing my parenting because the government we have right now is run by retards. 1.00

01:01:53.000 So that could be bad.

01:01:54.000 But yeah, I was thinking, why don't we do this?

01:01:56.000 Why don't we have a screen-free day?

01:02:00.000 What do you say?

01:02:01.000 You and me?

01:02:01.000 Yeah.

01:02:02.000 Meaning between us, we don't allow ourselves to watch screens.

01:02:07.000 Yeah, well, we obviously need it for work and stuff.

01:02:10.000 But you mean you, me, and all the baby monsters.

01:02:13.000 We try to have a day where we don't use screens.

01:02:16.000 Yeah.

01:02:16.000 I mean, I'm not on my screens very often.

01:02:20.000 I gotta be honest.

01:02:21.000 When I'm on the toilet, that's when I catch up with my texts and all that shit.

01:02:24.000 I don't like to be on my phone.

01:02:25.000 Well, you're also fall asleep listening to podcasts.

01:02:28.000 That counts.

01:02:30.000 Oh, okay.

01:02:30.000 That's true.

01:02:31.000 No podcasts.

01:02:33.000 No phone.

01:02:34.000 You can only use your phone for...

01:02:35.000 Oh, Jesse Lee Peterson.

01:02:37.000 Hey.

01:02:38.000 Wow.

01:02:40.000 I'm a partoon.

01:02:42.000 It's amazing.

01:02:46.000 That's not really what we're talking about right now.

01:02:48.000 Should we make it Tuesdays?

01:02:50.000 Because I don't really need to be doing research for tomorrow's show if tomorrow's show is compound media.

01:02:56.000 Well, then people can't watch the show.

01:03:00.000 Although I should know what I'm talking about when I'm talking to Anthony.

01:03:04.000 What about Thursdays?

01:03:06.000 Well, Thursdays, we have a live show, so technically you're a screen, Gavin.

01:03:13.000 No, but I don't...

01:03:14.000 I'm saying I need my phone and to be looking at Twitter for my job.

01:03:17.000 So I'm thinking of a day where I don't need it for my job.

01:03:20.000 And then we could all talk about it.

01:03:22.000 Yeah, let's do...

01:03:23.000 They want to have stuff for Friday?

01:03:25.000 Okay, why not the weekend?

01:03:28.000 Like a Sunday?

01:03:31.000 Because we want to be able to talk about it.

01:03:34.000 Okay, let's do this.

01:03:36.000 Screen-free Tuesdays?

01:03:38.000 Thursdays.

01:03:40.000 No, but then I want to be with my family if I'm Mr. No Screens.

01:03:44.000 Right.

01:03:45.000 They go to bed around that time.

01:03:47.000 Okay, let's do Thursdays.

01:03:49.000 So from now on, folks, we're going to do no screen Thursdays.

01:03:53.000 All right?

01:03:54.000 Except for this show.

01:03:56.000 Except for this show.

01:03:57.000 Yes, you can watch the show on your screens.

01:03:59.000 And obviously you need a screen.

01:04:02.000 You need to have your phone on you.

01:04:03.000 Your family can call you.

01:04:04.000 So what we're going to do is, it's a competition to use your phone and look at screens for as little as possible.

01:04:13.000 Now, if you're at work, you're allowed to look at your computer.

01:04:15.000 That's dumb, right?

01:04:16.000 You're not going to say, I can't do work today.

01:04:18.000 So if it's for work, that's fine.

01:04:20.000 But as far as just like scrolling through Instagram and Twitter, no.

01:04:26.000 And that includes shits.

01:04:28.000 That includes when you wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is reach for your phone and go, and that includes falling asleep going, see how much you can do.

01:04:41.000 Oh, and then we can talk about it Thursday night.

01:04:44.000 Yeah, that'll be a fun new addition to the show.

01:04:47.000 On Thursdays, when you call in, you talk about how you felt when you went for a walk and instead of looking at your phone, you spoke to your spouse or your kids or your daddy or

01:05:48.000 cop command respect?

01:05:50.000 Look at this fucking thing.

01:05:52.000 I'm gonna actually text it to a real full-size cop a real full-size cop who's a fucking beast and a golden gloves champion.

01:06:01.000 She is not in her homie tribe. 0.98

01:06:03.000 You better have a gun, lady. 1.00

01:06:05.000 She's got to be a lesbian, right? 1.00

01:06:06.000 With that many tattoos.

01:06:09.000 What the fuck are we doing?

01:06:12.000 When I was a kid in Scotland, there were zero cops under, say, 6'5.

01:06:17.000 They were all Highlanders genetically, and they were all fucking giants, and you were scared shitless of them. 0.97

01:06:23.000 If one of the cops came to your school because you were a bad boy, you would just see this giant beast and shit your pants and never be a bad boy again.

01:06:31.000 Fuck me.

01:06:38.000 Um.

01:06:42.000 What's this now?

01:06:43.000 These are things I haven't read yet.

01:06:45.000 I thought I was all caught up.

01:06:55.000 You guys keep talking about all these events, and I can't find a single page about any of it.

01:06:59.000 Could never find WestFest.

01:07:00.000 Had no idea how to find the upcoming events.

01:07:02.000 No one ever replies to these emails as well.

01:07:05.000 Where on earth do I get these tickets?

01:07:07.000 That's a good question.

01:07:08.000 Right now, we only have the...

01:07:12.000 Is it the Dallas show solidified?

01:07:14.000 Yeah.

01:07:15.000 And we haven't even started pushing it yet because it's months away.

01:07:19.000 Can you show them the link for the event, Bright, Ryan?

01:07:22.000 How do we get there?

01:07:22.000 I'm going to find it right now.

01:07:23.000 In the meantime, look at this cool graphic.

01:07:28.000 That's totally cool.

01:07:30.000 Doesn't mean much.

01:07:31.000 Maybe Josh Denny has it pinned on his page?

01:07:33.000 That's what I'm looking for.

01:07:36.000 It's got music, too.

01:07:38.000 Here we go.

01:07:40.000 Go to Josh Denny's Twitter.

01:07:41.000 Tickets for Censored Live in Dallas, Texas are now on sale.

01:07:44.000 Get yours today.

01:07:45.000 I'm going to push it more in a bit.

01:07:48.000 We've got to hammer out all the details, but it's not like the store is all fucking...

01:07:53.000 Eventbrite.com.

01:07:55.000 Go to eventbrite.com slash E slash censored dash live dash Dallas dash Texas dash tickets.

01:08:04.000 Dash, fuck you.

01:08:07.000 I'm pretty sure if you search on Eventbrite, let me see.

01:08:09.000 Censored live.

01:08:16.000 Patton Oswalt movie about cat fishing his son.

01:08:20.000 Yeah.

01:08:21.000 Pardon?

01:08:21.000 Oh, by the way, if you search in a search engine, Censored Live Dallas Eventbrite comes up.

01:08:28.000 Sup, faggots. 1.00

01:08:29.000 I've been attending these public screenings or films in Brooklyn, and they've had a few interesting films.

01:08:32.000 First, there's this film called The Law Enforcement's Guide to Satanic Cults, which follows the story of this tape made for the police and then compares it somewhat of Jan 6.

01:08:40.000 What?

01:08:40.000 Then they talk with this QAnon faggot named Cleveland Meredith Jr., who you've never heard of, and then shows Trump saying, stand black and stand by and show QAnon flags as if he's talking to them.

01:08:52.000 And somehow this is the same thing Republicans believe that Democrats are a static cult, satanic cult.

01:08:59.000 Sorry for my really incoherent description because that's how confusing this film was.

01:09:03.000 Anyhow, one of the trailers before the film was a Patton Oswald indie where he basically catfishes and stalks his son.

01:09:10.000 I wonder if they have a wife in this story.

01:09:12.000 Here's the trailer.

01:09:14.000 Okay.

01:09:15.000 Did you delete your profile?

01:09:17.000 Kind of the main way I was staying in touch with you.

01:09:31.000 Soup.

01:09:33.000 Do you want a video chat?

01:09:34.000 I'm kind of camera shy.

01:09:35.000 What if you're some old guy or something?

01:09:41.000 I'm doing this to help him.

01:09:42.000 He thinks he's in a relationship.

01:09:43.000 Yeah, we talk about life and stuff.

01:09:45.000 Sounds like I'm trying to see his dick.

01:09:47.000 Oh, come on, man.

01:09:48.000 I don't even hear no about your boy's dick.

01:09:50.000 It's your son's dick you're talking about.

01:09:51.000 I said I'm not trying to.

01:09:55.000 Ew, gross.

01:09:57.000 So some guy was out of touch with his son, and he got back by hiring a girl to be the girlfriend.

01:10:08.000 And then they have an online relationship, so he gets to talk to his son.

01:10:12.000 Yikes.

01:10:14.000 Gavin's boots.

01:10:15.000 Hey, Gavin, those pics with Amber Heard, what kind of boots are you wearing?

01:10:17.000 Red wings?

01:10:18.000 We've made that very clear.

01:10:24.000 Dear, this one's called The War on Kids Intro.

01:10:26.000 Dear G-Dog and Rye Guy, first I'd like to thank you for the awesome, hilarious, and at times even thought-provoking content you've been putting out here for the past few years.

01:10:34.000 As someone living in Finland, I'm generally very alone with my political-religious leanings, and having people like you, i.e.

01:10:40.000 actual men with actual balls and brains, is a breeze of fresh air whenever I watch slash listen to your shows. 0.64

01:10:45.000 I do, in fact, have a question.

01:10:47.000 It's sadly not all that interesting.

01:10:48.000 I really like the intro.

01:10:49.000 You have on Warren Kids, another brick in the wall, blah, blah, blah.

01:10:52.000 Was a song custom-made by you or a fan?

01:10:54.000 Is it possible to find it somewhere?

01:10:56.000 What a weird email.

01:10:58.000 Did you make that song?

01:10:59.000 No, I think that is a remix.

01:11:04.000 So if you just, you probably would get some luck if you typed in remix the wall.

01:11:09.000 All right, let's get to the final vid.

01:11:12.000 We shall.

01:11:16.000 Stop, stop, stop.

01:11:18.000 What?

01:11:18.000 Stop.

01:11:19.000 What?

01:11:20.000 I don't feel like we provided enough quality content.

01:11:23.000 Whoa.

01:11:24.000 So we're not going to do the final video.

01:11:26.000 Let's do feminism. 1.00

01:11:28.000 Ooh.

01:11:28.000 Who here identifies As a feminist, we are the storm, the very form of change that the world has been waiting for.

01:11:40.000 You said I was too pretty to fight.

01:11:45.000 That's toxic masculinity if you don't realize how your behavior is hurtful.

01:11:52.000 This was pretty intense.

01:11:54.000 Some incredibly hot chick says, roast me, which is women don't get the roasting thing. 1.00

01:12:01.000 Remember I told you I was at a bar and we were all saying what each other is out of 10, us guys, and it was funny.

01:12:07.000 Because even if you're like a five as a dude, you laugh and you go, yeah, I'm ugly and fat or whatever, and I'm bald.

01:12:14.000 And then it's even funny if one of your friends is a nine, like he could be a male model. 0.95

01:12:18.000 That's equally as funny.

01:12:20.000 But then when a girl shows up and she's like, what am I? 0.97

01:12:22.000 You go, uh, you add two.

01:12:26.000 She's a six, you say an eight. 0.98

01:12:28.000 They're always insulted.

01:12:29.000 An eight, why aren't I a ten?

01:12:31.000 I don't know, because you're a fucking ugly melting fat minion? 0.74

01:12:36.000 So anyway, this hot chick who's never been told no in her life decides she wants to be roasted. 1.00

01:12:42.000 Okay, let's try it.

01:12:46.000 I can't read that.

01:12:48.000 Your implants and cry for attention on here only highlight what you and everyone else already suspect.

01:12:54.000 You are insecure.

01:12:55.000 Likely your insecurity stems from always questioning if you really ever earned anything by merit.

01:13:01.000 Most people probably hand you things because they like looking at you, but that's made you vapid, shallow, and unable to perform in any way that adds true value to the world.

01:13:10.000 Your relationships are superficial.

01:13:12.000 Your romance life always has a shadow of doubt.

01:13:14.000 Does he love you or how you look?

01:13:16.000 If you were disfigured, would anyone give you a second glance based on personality?

01:13:20.000 That nagging feeling will keep you looking for validation.

01:13:23.000 It keeps you in the gym.

01:13:25.000 It makes you post photos online, looking for praise or positive attention.

01:13:29.000 It keeps you going back for a nip here and a tuck there.

01:13:33.000 Before long, you look like Donatello-Versace with the personality of one of her handbags.

01:13:39.000 You'll shift from being the center of attention to being part of a gaggle of women who make rude comments about younger girls because you feel jealous and rude comments about men who no longer pay any attention to you.

01:13:49.000 You'd be better served working on being a better person than hunting for attention on Reddit.

01:13:53.000 But you'll likely die young and your grave will be about as shallow as your personality.

01:13:59.000 I was going to jerk off to this photo, but now I have to jerk off to this comment.

01:14:02.000 Jesus.

01:14:03.000 And then how well does it work out?

01:14:06.000 Dead at 31 by suicide.

01:14:09.000 Influencer had 4.2 million followers.

01:14:12.000 This is a sick culture, dudes.

01:14:14.000 This phone shit is.

01:14:17.000 It's Orwellian.

01:14:19.000 It's dark.

01:14:19.000 It's macabre.

01:14:23.000 I don't like it.

01:14:24.000 All right, I wanted to get to this green.

01:14:26.000 What?

01:14:27.000 My phone is answering questions for you.

01:14:28.000 It's real.

01:14:30.000 It's weird.

01:14:31.000 So that was a real thing.

01:14:33.000 Sometimes you'll see things like that and it'll be...

01:14:35.000 Because it's fake.

01:14:36.000 Well, I can kind of tell the New York Post wasn't Photoshop.

01:14:39.000 That's terrible.

01:14:40.000 How does she kill herself, you think?

01:14:43.000 Yeah.

01:14:43.000 How does a beautiful woman commit suicide?

01:14:46.000 I don't know, Ryan.

01:14:46.000 You're a retard and you're ruining the show.

01:14:48.000 Can we do the green screen, please?

01:14:50.000 Oh, yes.

01:14:54.000 It is time for what we call a green screen.

01:15:06.000 Come on, everybody.

01:15:16.000 Sorry, I'm late.

01:15:18.000 I was looking up the woman in this video.

01:15:19.000 I think her name is Haley Holt.

01:15:22.000 And here is Jordan Peterson explaining reality to her and talking about motherhood and how important it is to create life and how lame most of your jobs are.

01:15:33.000 A year after this discussion, she had donated sperm because she couldn't find a man.

01:15:40.000 And because she was old as shit, she had a late-term miscarriage.

01:15:44.000 In other words, Jordan was right and she was wrong.

01:15:47.000 And you can see the truth seeping into her brain in this video.

01:15:53.000 Shocked, especially the ones that are more professionally oriented, with just exactly how much they end up liking their children, loving children.

01:16:04.000 Just to give the context here, he said, I can't tell you how many women I know who are shocked at how much they love their children.

01:16:10.000 Like they go, and I've noticed that too.

01:16:12.000 They always go like, well, I'm not ready.

01:16:15.000 We've got to do this first.

01:16:16.000 We got to do that first.

01:16:19.000 No, you don't.

01:16:20.000 Just pop them out.

01:16:20.000 Trust me.

01:16:21.000 Oh, I don't know anything.

01:16:22.000 How should I do this?

01:16:23.000 It all figures itself out.

01:16:26.000 Public schools are free.

01:16:27.000 Homeschooling's free.

01:16:28.000 Food is cheap.

01:16:29.000 You already got a place to live.

01:16:31.000 There'll just be a little kid over there. 0.94

01:16:33.000 So just do it.

01:16:34.000 I remember, I'll never forget this woman back in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

01:16:38.000 Fuck, she was hot. 1.00

01:16:39.000 And we're there and our daughters are playing.

01:16:42.000 This is back when my daughter was like two, 13 years ago.

01:16:46.000 And she just looks at her kid and looks at me and she goes, what the fuck were we waiting for?

01:16:52.000 Why did we wait so long?

01:16:53.000 It profoundly affected me.

01:16:56.000 Anyway.

01:16:58.000 Because most young women are taught badly that the most important thing that they'll do in their life is their career.

01:17:05.000 And that's simply not true.

01:17:07.000 It's not true for most people and certainly not true for most women. 1.00

01:17:10.000 I certainly wasn't taught that myself.

01:17:12.000 I feel like I'm doing quite well in my career, but I still have pressures.

01:17:16.000 People who are saying, you know, when are you actually going to succeed properly by having a baby?

01:17:22.000 I kind of find that slightly offensive.

01:17:24.000 What exactly did she say?

01:17:27.000 I still have pressures.

01:17:28.000 People who are saying, you know, when are you actually going to succeed properly by having a baby?

01:17:34.000 I kind of find that slightly offensive.

01:17:36.000 I'm 38.

01:17:38.000 It's over, babe.

01:17:39.000 Let me explain for the 50th time how it works.

01:17:41.000 25, great time to have a baby.

01:17:45.000 30, getting old.

01:17:47.000 But what happens at 30 is the hourglass is turned upside down.

01:17:51.000 The sand starts draining.

01:17:53.000 30 to 35, you're losing it.

01:17:56.000 And that's not enough time to have, say, three Kids, unless you're Irish. 1.00

01:18:02.000 After 35, the probability of getting pregnant plummets.

01:18:06.000 Yeah, well, my aunt had a kid at 41.

01:18:10.000 Yes, I'm aware that there are exceptions.

01:18:13.000 My mother had my brother at 40.

01:18:15.000 My wife had our last kid at 38. 0.66

01:18:18.000 Of course, it's possible, but it's unlikely.

01:18:22.000 And there's a million health risks.

01:18:24.000 Like this dumb bitch had a miscarriage at 39. 1.00

01:18:28.000 Because nature or God is basically going, um, yeah, this wasn't my plan.

01:18:36.000 I'm going to make things difficult.

01:18:37.000 And then, have you noticed autism is everywhere?

01:18:40.000 I can't help but think it's all of these women having kids late in life. 1.00

01:18:45.000 It's a feature of older moms having kids with autism. 0.99

01:18:50.000 I mean, it's fucking everywhere these days.

01:18:52.000 When I was a kid, there was no one with autism.

01:18:55.000 There was a couple nerds, but none of this like stuff.

01:19:02.000 You know these guys?

01:19:04.000 Hi.

01:19:05.000 You know that the world's longest ocean-going paddle steamer, that's still alive, the steam-powered one, it's called the Waverly, and it's 112 years old.

01:19:14.000 It's still ocean-going.

01:19:16.000 It does four trips a day.

01:19:18.000 One at 9 a.m., one, shut up.

01:19:22.000 Early 30s, without that, without, almost luckily, when I look at what my friends have to deal with with their children, I almost feel a little bit blessed.

01:19:33.000 You're not blessed.

01:19:35.000 I feel a little bit lucky when I look at, like, what do you mean?

01:19:38.000 You see a kid running around, the mom chasing it, that must be a living hell.

01:19:41.000 And of course, we know she's kidding herself because we've been to the future.

01:19:46.000 And in a year, this woman gets sperm donated to her, which she fucks up. 1.00

01:19:53.000 Well, her body does. 0.97

01:19:55.000 Well, I would say that it starts to get pretty lonesome in life after 45 if you don't have a family.

01:20:01.000 You know, and so it's easy to consider the utility of an intense.

01:20:06.000 Look at that.

01:20:06.000 Stop.

01:20:08.000 Did you see what just happened there?

01:20:10.000 God, that's amazing.

01:20:12.000 I saw a penny drop in her mind.

01:20:17.000 Look at how she looks down. 1.00

01:20:19.000 That blink is everything.

01:20:22.000 I wish I could bottle that blink and then walk through the streets like an angry Muslim with butric acid, throwing it in women's faces. 1.00

01:20:32.000 I want to bottle that blink and just go to every 25-year-old in the Western world and just go, splosh, splosh, sploosh, splosh.

01:20:41.000 And they go, whoa, I will be lonely at 45.

01:20:45.000 I got to stop dating DJs and musicians and photographers and find an ambitious guy that has a future.

01:20:53.000 The utility of an intense career.

01:20:54.000 And like you have a very high quality career too.

01:20:57.000 That's something that marks you out from maybe from, let's say, more typical people.

01:21:03.000 And perhaps that's worth more of a sacrifice.

01:21:06.000 But, you know, you're going to...

01:21:08.000 I've thought about that too.

01:21:09.000 Like they go, my career, and I go, well, there's an oncologist, and then there's like a woman who does a restaurant's Facebook page, right?

01:21:20.000 Do either of those hold a candle to creating and shaping three or more lives?

01:21:25.000 An oncologist could save a child's life.

01:21:28.000 She might prescribe the perfect amount of chemo to save that child. 0.98

01:21:32.000 Yeah, would that child die if you weren't there, though?

01:21:35.000 And you saved, you may have saved a life of a stranger.

01:21:39.000 You could have created three lives.

01:21:42.000 So even the top of the line, like most valuable jobs in society, are those still even close to being a mom?

01:21:53.000 I don't think so.

01:21:55.000 I don't think I could name a job that's better than being a mom, which is funny how they say proud boys are sexist, because we're actually putting them on a pedestal that's above all else.

01:22:07.000 You're going to live till you're 90 in all likelihood, and it's not easy to consider your life across its entire span.

01:22:14.000 And there's something to be said for developing a very close-knit, intimate community around you if you can manage it.

01:22:22.000 She's going to cry.

01:22:22.000 You have children, and then you have grandchildren.

01:22:25.000 And that, to me, what I've experienced in my life, although I've had a very productive career and a very interesting career.

01:22:33.000 By the way, you made one kid.

01:22:36.000 One is for losers.

01:22:37.000 Two is for fags. 0.97

01:22:39.000 Three is the bare minimum.

01:22:40.000 We're not exactly blown away by your track record.

01:22:43.000 And isn't she a single mom?

01:22:46.000 Did she have a kid out of wedlock? 0.92

01:22:48.000 Didn't she get divorced or some shit? 1.00

01:22:50.000 I think she's married to a guy named Jordan.

01:22:53.000 But I don't know if that's the baby mama.

01:22:56.000 Baby daddy.

01:22:57.000 Yeah.

01:22:58.000 Go ahead.

01:22:59.000 Maybe being the case for me that my family has been more and more important to me as I've got older.

01:23:04.000 And I don't think that that's an uncommon experience.

01:23:08.000 Like, look at her body language. 0.99

01:23:11.000 She's falling apart here.

01:23:13.000 And that's because no one's ever splashed a bottle of blink water in her face.

01:23:18.000 No one's ever brought this up.

01:23:19.000 She's got nothing but accolades.

01:23:22.000 There might be some doddering old lady that no one takes seriously who said, you really should have met a man. 1.00

01:23:27.000 You know, you're 38.

01:23:28.000 You're a spinster. 0.94

01:23:30.000 You're all dried up.

01:23:32.000 And they all laugh at that dumb old lady. 1.00

01:23:36.000 She's so old-fashioned.

01:23:38.000 You're going to get sperm donated to you in about a year, and then you'll have a late-term miscarriage, which is fucking traumatizing because it's basically a baby.

01:23:47.000 I mean, of course it's a baby, but it looks fully developed in the third trimester.

01:23:52.000 Try getting over that.

01:23:54.000 I really have to clean my room first before I had a child, because it's slightly messy.

01:23:59.000 What does your room look like?

01:24:01.000 Because you do suggest that that is the first place people should start.

01:24:04.000 Oh, my God.

01:24:05.000 At the moment, it's somewhat of a disaster, and it has been for about two years because for a variety of reasons, our house has been in a state of constant renovation over the last two years, and I've been traveling.

01:24:17.000 You don't have to be so literal with every question, okay?

01:24:20.000 She's just joking around about the clean your room thing. 0.84

01:24:23.000 God damn it, he's such a robot sometimes.

01:24:26.000 Everything that isn't in order in the house happens to be in my room.

01:24:30.000 And it is a sign that my life, in some sense, has got beyond my ability to stay on top of.

01:24:37.000 And so there's a fair bit of ordering and starving.

01:24:44.000 I just wanted to show you the evolution of a woman's brain as she slowly realizes that she's given away the most fantastic gift imaginable.

01:24:55.000 I mean, it's almost above mortals.

01:24:58.000 If you can create life, you're not really down with us, plebes. 0.98

01:25:03.000 You're in a special universe.

01:25:04.000 And to just throw away that magic power, I mean, I'm sure there's a handful of women that should do it and would be happier without kids. 1.00

01:25:14.000 There's also people with limb dysphasia who chop their leg off because they think they were born to be handicapped.

01:25:20.000 You're basically mentally ill if you throw away motherhood.

01:25:24.000 So fucking get your shit together, ladies. 1.00

01:25:43.000 Okay, now we can get to the fucking final video.

01:26:06.000 You know, that Jim Brewer video where he says, savor every moment with your family.

01:26:12.000 It really is important.

01:26:13.000 You could go at any moment.

01:26:14.000 I remember Michelle Malkin talked about this.

01:26:16.000 There was that Asian dude who he was on a road trip in the winter with his family, and he kept them there in the car.

01:26:23.000 The kid, the car died, and they're in the middle of nowhere.

01:26:26.000 And the mother was breastfeeding, and the car was sheltered, so it wasn't that bad.

01:26:32.000 But he eventually goes, we got to go get help.

01:26:34.000 So he goes on a long walk through this four feet of snow trying to find some help.

01:26:39.000 And they just find him dead with his clothes everywhere.

01:26:41.000 He was nude because apparently as you're freezing to death, at the very last second, you feel really hot.

01:26:47.000 And that's a thing you do.

01:26:50.000 And Michelle Malkin, or maybe it was a fan of hers on her thread, said, a fun game I do with my kids is I mentally pretend that they're old and they're away from the house.

01:27:02.000 Am I going to cry like a faggot again? 1.00

01:27:06.000 Being over 50, you're just blubbering all the time.

01:27:13.000 At the new gym, the aerobicized gym, I'm hitting the heavy bag and they're playing power by Kanye West again.

01:27:20.000 And I make this video in my head that's like a training video with mouthpieces and people slipping and fucking left hooks and practicing and it's really dramatic and it's really well edited and it gets you pumped.

01:27:34.000 And then the end of the video, they've got their gym bags and they're walking through.

01:27:39.000 It's a bad part of the Bronx.

01:27:40.000 And they see a crowd of guys, like four teenagers, picking on some, I don't know, old man or a girl or something.

01:27:49.000 And then they turn around and they see the two people that just left the gym that you've been watching training.

01:27:56.000 And the two guys look at each other.

01:27:58.000 And then they just, they reach in their pockets and they grab their mouth guards and they put in their mouth guards.

01:28:04.000 And that's the end of the video.

01:28:06.000 They're going to go kick the ass of those fucking thugs. 0.99

01:28:09.000 And then as I get so emotional with Kanye West playing and that gay video I just made in my head, I start going, thinking about people standing up for themselves. 0.92

01:28:20.000 Oh my God, I'm fucking Jordan Peterson.

01:28:26.000 Nobody said it was easy.

01:28:31.000 Anyway, the game is you pretend that you were daughters old and you got a time machine.

01:28:46.000 To go back in time and be with her for a day.

01:28:54.000 Anyway, here's a guy almost falling from a crane.

01:29:09.000 He could go at any moment.

01:29:10.000 Don't worry, he's not going to die.

01:29:11.000 I'm pretty sure.

01:29:14.000 Oh my god.

01:29:15.000 Hang on.

01:29:16.000 Hang on.

01:29:17.000 Just let your hurt fuck you. 0.98

01:29:22.000 Okay, now it's just two broken legs.

01:29:25.000 How the fuck did this happen?

01:29:32.000 Holy fucking Jesus Christ.

01:29:35.000 Is there a swamper there?

01:29:36.000 Like somebody tell him to stop now before he gets crushed by this fucking he's safe.

01:29:44.000 He makes it.

01:29:46.000 But you never know when you're gonna go.

01:29:48.000 So savor every moment.

01:29:50.000 Get fired.

01:29:51.000 Get in trouble.

01:29:52.000 Be brave.

01:29:53.000 And never stop fighting.

01:30:29.000 For a small there, like somebody told him to stop now before he gets crushed by this.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - July 12, 2022

S4E141 - THE BUTT BOYS

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