Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S4E142

00:00:14.000 From New York, it's Get Off My One with Devil McGuinness.

00:00:46.000 Here it comes.

00:00:54.000 You're a Bad Man.

00:00:56.000 That was a Cockney Rejax from East London.

00:00:59.000 Big fans of West Ham, obviously, right?

00:01:02.000 What are you going to knock like West Ham if you're from fucking East London?

00:01:06.000 And that was the song Bad Man, their number one hit.

00:01:10.000 They've also got I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles.

00:01:15.000 My second favourite jam from Cockney Reject is, I'm not so ignorant.

00:01:22.000 I'm not a fool.

00:01:25.000 I think Crass sort of copied that with I Ain't Thick.

00:01:28.000 It's just a trick.

00:01:30.000 I was going to play the Simps.

00:01:33.000 Consider that one to academic geezers making.

00:01:37.000 Sim?

00:01:40.000 What's going on for your fucking face, mate?

00:01:42.000 I think it's like a Mexican and a trans.

00:01:47.000 Jump in the middle.

00:01:51.000 Very different vibe, right?

00:01:52.000 From Badman.

00:01:54.000 And then the other song I was considering, Peggy Lee.

00:02:00.000 I remember when I was a little girl, our house got on fire.

00:02:06.000 I'll never forget the look on my daddy's face as he gathered me up in his arms and raced through the burning building out on the pavement.

00:02:14.000 And I stood there, shivering in my pajamas, watched the whole world roll through the flames.

00:02:21.000 And when it was all over, I said to myself, Is that all there is to a fire?

00:02:29.000 Is that all there is?

00:02:34.000 Is that all there is?

00:02:39.000 I think a fire would be a blessing in my home.

00:02:43.000 We have so much shit.

00:02:45.000 You know, when I met my wife, she said, I should warn you.

00:02:50.000 There might be some threesomes going down.

00:02:52.000 I was like, you want to get married?

00:02:54.000 Guess how many threesomes we've had?

00:02:56.000 Four.

00:02:57.000 A little lower.

00:03:00.000 Three.

00:03:01.000 That's a little bit lower.

00:03:04.000 Okay, I'm confident it's two, which is not a lot.

00:03:08.000 Just go down, just go down two more.

00:03:11.000 Well, that wouldn't make sense.

00:03:12.000 That would be zero.

00:03:13.000 Zero threesomes.

00:03:14.000 We have not been drowning in my wife bringing hot chicks home.

00:03:18.000 That's not a thing.

00:03:19.000 That was bullshit.

00:03:21.000 We do have every drawer in the house so stuffed full of shit that I can't open them.

00:03:27.000 I was promised a whore.

00:03:29.000 I got a hoarder.

00:03:31.000 And you know what's worse?

00:03:32.000 I open a drawer, it's so packed that the shit falls behind and goes down.

00:03:37.000 You know how hard it is to get that shit?

00:03:39.000 Impossible.

00:03:41.000 You break your arm twisting down there, or you remove the whole drawer, which is, at best, incredibly hard.

00:03:49.000 Those ones with the ball bearings, good luck getting those drawers out.

00:03:52.000 And my fucking daughter's doing it now.

00:03:54.000 It's genetic.

00:03:56.000 Every drawer, from the Tupperware drawer to the dish towels, to every fucking drawer in the bathroom, gun, gun, gun, gun, gun, gun.

00:04:07.000 And I start, I'm losing it.

00:04:08.000 And here's something you should know about marriage.

00:04:11.000 The fight you have in your first week, you're going to be having for decades.

00:04:15.000 I yelled about overstuffed drawers 20 years ago.

00:04:20.000 And yesterday, I'm like, fucking goddammit!

00:04:24.000 What are you going to say?

00:04:25.000 No threesomes.

00:04:27.000 They're consomes.

00:04:27.000 They're con women to get you to marry them, you know?

00:04:31.000 You know why the term is con man?

00:04:33.000 Why?

00:04:33.000 Because they don't have to specify when it's a woman.

00:04:36.000 It's implied.

00:04:42.000 Fucking shit.

00:04:46.000 Really important, groundbreaking news I got from the sun.

00:04:50.000 You're not going to believe this.

00:04:52.000 I'm jealous that we didn't catch this first, but they got it.

00:04:56.000 Are you ready for this?

00:04:57.000 It's a little annoying, isn't it?

00:04:59.000 I think it's because it's the thin line, so every wrinkle is exaggerated.

00:05:02.000 Thin line.

00:05:03.000 You're not going to believe this.

00:05:04.000 Holy shit.

00:05:06.000 You may have to rewind it and watch it a few times.

00:05:08.000 Gotcha.

00:05:09.000 But major flub on The View.

00:05:12.000 Oh, no.

00:05:12.000 Look at the headline first.

00:05:16.000 GMA's Ginger Z. So Good Morning America's Ginger Z. Co-host The View makes this flub.

00:05:22.000 It's a mess.

00:05:24.000 You're going to shit your pants.

00:05:25.000 You ready for this?

00:05:26.000 I can't wait.

00:05:28.000 So you, speaking of books, you just released the paperback version of Please Don't Sit on My Bed with Your Outdoor Clothes.

00:05:37.000 That title means so much to so many people.

00:05:41.000 In my house, when I was dating my husband, he taught me.

00:05:44.000 Wait, it didn't happen yet.

00:05:48.000 The book title is in your outside clothes.

00:05:52.000 Not with your outdoor clothes.

00:05:55.000 What a dumb bitch.

00:05:57.000 I mean, we make fun of Joe Biden, but that is wow.

00:06:02.000 She's probably fired.

00:06:03.000 Oh, yeah.

00:06:04.000 I think she should be stabbed.

00:06:06.000 Yeah.

00:06:07.000 In the eyes.

00:06:08.000 I'm preparing myself to forgive you.

00:06:11.000 No way.

00:06:11.000 We will never.

00:06:12.000 I don't care what the media does.

00:06:14.000 I don't care what anyone in this country does.

00:06:16.000 This is Ginger Z's last day.

00:06:18.000 You know, all the lefties are pro Kyle Rittenhouse now because he came out with a statement.

00:06:22.000 If I catch any of you fuckers alone, I'm going to fucking kill you.

00:06:26.000 And they're all for it.

00:06:27.000 Yeah.

00:06:27.000 They think it's an appropriate.

00:06:28.000 No, she should be killed.

00:06:29.000 Yes.

00:06:30.000 She should be harassed.

00:06:31.000 In her outside clothes, of course.

00:06:32.000 Yeah.

00:06:33.000 It's please don't sit on my bed in your outside clothes.

00:06:37.000 Now, does she apologize and catch it?

00:06:39.000 By the way, just off the record, that's a fucking gay sentiment.

00:06:43.000 It's stupid.

00:06:44.000 Who cares?

00:06:45.000 Is there mud all over your coat?

00:06:47.000 And no one sits on your bed with their coat on.

00:06:49.000 And how many people are coming by and fucking you, by the way?

00:06:51.000 Are you a whore?

00:06:54.000 You have to tell a lot of people about your bed?

00:06:57.000 You should have one person in your bed.

00:06:59.000 In my threesome marriage, there's only two people in the bed.

00:07:04.000 Now, what a fucking gym.

00:07:07.000 She's probably just really like...

00:07:09.000 She doesn't want to speak up because there's a bunch of white women and we're living in a racist nation.

00:07:14.000 Poor girl is probably.

00:07:15.000 That's the kind of abuse they take.

00:07:16.000 I'm not going to say none.

00:07:17.000 You know what?

00:07:18.000 I'm going to do a thing on the suburbs in a second.

00:07:20.000 But I was thinking the terror that my family has gone through because I'm a Trump supporter and the Proud Boys guy is worse than what everything I hear blacks complaining about.

00:07:30.000 Like every time you hear a black complaining, well, there's the myth of cops shooting them.

00:07:34.000 But outside of that, it's like, they touched my hair and they said it was bouncy.

00:07:38.000 When they asked me, am I like rap?

00:07:42.000 They assumed I was good at basketball.

00:07:45.000 I'm like, really?

00:07:45.000 Was your house vandalized several times and your car and your children ostasized and you're yelled at on the street and people Zeke Heil when they see you?

00:07:55.000 Did you try that out?

00:07:57.000 I lived the life of a mixed race couple in the 50s in a white neighborhood.

00:08:02.000 And good.

00:08:03.000 That's what we should do to racists.

00:08:05.000 Make them live the life that our black brothers lived half a century ago.

00:08:13.000 Also in the silly news, I love seeing this.

00:08:17.000 So corporations got woke and now they're going broke because they chose the wrong side.

00:08:23.000 And what did we say?

00:08:24.000 When everyone was going like BLM and Antifa and peaceful protests, we're like, that's the wrong side.

00:08:29.000 Guys, the BLM, they're just going to buy mansions with your money and fuck you over.

00:08:35.000 They don't care about you.

00:08:36.000 That's not going to a black college fund.

00:08:38.000 Oh, and Antifa, they're just going to keep wrecking shit.

00:08:41.000 Like, you can't be their friends.

00:08:42.000 They want to burn the country to the ground.

00:08:44.000 They don't want to slightly change or improve the system.

00:08:47.000 They want a reduction of systems to zero.

00:08:49.000 They want Mad Max rubble.

00:08:51.000 They're dying.

00:08:52.000 It's a suicide mission they're on, and they want to take you down.

00:08:56.000 We got this.

00:08:56.000 Thank you.

00:08:57.000 We're having Pride Month and fucking oppression month.

00:09:01.000 And look at this before and after picture of Starbucks.

00:09:06.000 Go to the first one.

00:09:09.000 This is the...

00:09:10.000 We witnessed many protests over the course of last summer in our hometown of Seattle.

00:09:14.000 The Black Lives Matter protests, which were overwhelmingly peaceful, sought to protest systemic racism and acts of police brutality, you guys.

00:09:25.000 Leads to?

00:09:27.000 Hey, so yeah, Starbucks announced Monday it will close five high-incident stores in Seattle and one in Everett will remain closed due to ongoing crime concerns.

00:09:38.000 And I think I know why.

00:09:40.000 And you know what's funny about these Starbucks thing?

00:09:42.000 I saw a clip, maybe you can find it, of, I don't know, the CEO of Starbucks.

00:09:49.000 And they're closing them down, even though they're profitable, because homeless people are doing heroin in the bathroom.

00:09:56.000 And the owners or whatever you call it, I don't think you can own a Starbucks.

00:09:59.000 You have to lease it.

00:10:01.000 The people that are in charge of those particular branches are going, I don't feel safe coming to work.

00:10:05.000 And I'm worried about my employees getting stabbed.

00:10:07.000 And you can't have a baby there with some junkie with his pants down standing next to him scratching himself.

00:10:13.000 So they're shutting down profitable things.

00:10:15.000 Told you so.

00:10:17.000 Warned you, but you didn't listen.

00:10:20.000 The Prowl boys tried to beat up Antifa.

00:10:23.000 We tried to clean up the streets, but you said you threw us in jail.

00:10:26.000 Okay.

00:10:27.000 Speaking of jail.

00:10:28.000 He says America has become unsafe.

00:10:33.000 Oh.

00:10:35.000 Really?

00:10:35.000 But is it mostly peaceful?

00:10:38.000 Yeah, that's the guy.

00:10:39.000 And I don't have to spend too much time on what's going on in the country and how America has become unsafe.

00:10:48.000 But you all read the press release the last couple of days about the fact that we are beginning to close stores that are not unprofitable.

00:10:57.000 But we're closing stores as a result of the co-creation sessions that we've had.

00:11:02.000 Almost 60 now, 25 in the SSC and the rest in the field.

00:11:06.000 We had one yesterday in San Antonio.

00:11:08.000 But in all of those sessions, it has shocked me that one of the primary concerns that our retail partners have is their own personal safety.

00:11:22.000 He's so move.

00:11:23.000 We don't know what he's planning.

00:11:28.000 So Proud Boys fought Antifa, and they were thrown in jail.

00:11:32.000 Speaking of Proud Boys in jail, we have a new Give Send Go for Joe Biggs.

00:11:36.000 Put that up there.

00:11:38.000 SSG Biggs Defense Fund.

00:11:41.000 So how do you find that, Ryan?

00:11:43.000 Givesendgo.com slash SGBDF.

00:11:47.000 Biggs Defense Fund.

00:11:49.000 SSGBDF.

00:11:50.000 Give send go.

00:11:51.000 It's probably easy to look up once you get to Give Send Go.

00:11:54.000 That's correct.

00:11:55.000 And we've got $110 in there.

00:11:58.000 Dan Hall is handling it.

00:11:59.000 I talk to him on a regular basis.

00:12:01.000 He looks like Paul McCartney.

00:12:03.000 And I know there's a lot of viewers who go, no, Joe Biggs fucked up.

00:12:06.000 He shouldn't have gone.

00:12:07.000 Okay.

00:12:09.000 Should he be in jail for a year?

00:12:12.000 Oh, cool.

00:12:12.000 Randaza.

00:12:14.000 Should he be in solitary confinement for a year?

00:12:17.000 No matter how, like, let's take the very worst case scenario that Joe Biggs, I'm not doing the insurrection.

00:12:22.000 That's not a worst case.

00:12:23.000 That's a lunatic case.

00:12:24.000 But he shouldn't have gone in there.

00:12:26.000 Vandalism.

00:12:27.000 Fuck him.

00:12:27.000 Bastard.

00:12:28.000 All right.

00:12:29.000 Fuck it.

00:12:29.000 I'm going to be in a really bad mood.

00:12:31.000 The gavel, Gavin's gavel comes down.

00:12:33.000 Fucking $1,000 fine.

00:12:36.000 Fucking week in jail.

00:12:38.000 That's me at my meanest I can muster.

00:12:41.000 No, tens of thousands of dollars.

00:12:44.000 I think he owes his lawyer like a million bucks, but his lawyer's not taking it.

00:12:49.000 And it's a year and a half of solitary confinement, him and Ethan Nordine.

00:12:54.000 And we just had AOC admit that the Capitol Police let them in.

00:12:59.000 Not That we're taking that angle.

00:13:01.000 The angle is Joe Biggs did something wrong and we've overdone it.

00:13:05.000 Not it was Antifa or it was the FBI.

00:13:08.000 But she admitted.

00:13:10.000 She said, her angle is that the Capitol Police are Trump supporters.

00:13:16.000 That's a weird twist.

00:13:18.000 These insurrectionists?

00:13:19.000 Like Antifa?

00:13:20.000 And that there were actual officers working with this and we never got to the bottom of that and we never got any answers about that.

00:13:27.000 And then to this day, we're just supposed to pretend that that never happened.

00:13:30.000 I have no idea what happened to the people on the inside who were very clearly sympathetic with what was going on and opening the doors right over here.

00:13:39.000 And we're supposed to sit here and pretend like none of that ever happened.

00:13:44.000 And then right afterwards, you have a massive, you know, you just have this idea that throwing money at that problem.

00:13:49.000 Isn't that funny?

00:13:50.000 We're in bed with AOC.

00:13:53.000 We said the government was involved in that, and she's saying it too.

00:13:57.000 Yeah.

00:13:58.000 And it's not just about the Congress not being safe.

00:14:01.000 Let's get together, AOC.

00:14:02.000 Speaking of get together, we've got fucking Alex Stein, prime time Stein, complimenting AOC's gorgeous ass.

00:14:14.000 Oh, yes.

00:14:15.000 I'm going to hold off on judgment on her ass.

00:14:17.000 I have not seen it in a normal way.

00:14:20.000 It might suck.

00:14:22.000 It might be worse than Lizzo's.

00:14:24.000 Can you imagine a worse ass than Lizzo's?

00:14:26.000 No.

00:14:27.000 It's the Toronto Burke of asses.

00:14:29.000 You know what's...

00:14:30.000 And Toronto Burke's face is the ass of faces.

00:14:32.000 Lizzo's ass is literally not better than nothing.

00:14:35.000 Like, I dated a few rice balls in my day, and I did this one girl, Jackie Toe.

00:14:40.000 She had zero ass.

00:14:41.000 Zero.

00:14:42.000 And I was like, well, we can work around it.

00:14:45.000 I couldn't work around Lizzo's ass.

00:14:47.000 No, physically, no, you couldn't.

00:14:51.000 It would take you a long time.

00:14:52.000 She is fucking hideous and proud of it.

00:14:57.000 Yikes.

00:14:58.000 Go to 1-6.

00:15:00.000 Can you get Alex Stein on the line?

00:15:02.000 Yeah, I can drive her on DC right now.

00:15:04.000 See, my favorite big booty Latina.

00:15:06.000 I love you, AOC.

00:15:07.000 You're my favorite.

00:15:08.000 She wants to kill babies, but she's still beautiful.

00:15:11.000 You look very beautiful in that dress.

00:15:13.000 You look very sexy.

00:15:14.000 Look at that booty on AOC.

00:15:16.000 That's my favorite big booty Latina.

00:15:18.000 Look at you, little selfie.

00:15:19.000 I love it.

00:15:20.000 My favorite AOC.

00:15:21.000 Nice to meet you, AOC.

00:15:23.000 Look at that dress.

00:15:25.000 Ooh, I love it, AOC.

00:15:27.000 Hot, hot, hot, like a tamale.

00:15:29.000 So look, she's having fun with it.

00:15:32.000 And then she's like, she does a peace sign.

00:15:34.000 Haha, you're not phasing me.

00:15:35.000 And then she goes, oh, wait, my whole brand is that I'm phased.

00:15:39.000 And I thought I was going to die in the insurrection.

00:15:42.000 And I go to the border wall and I start crying.

00:15:44.000 So now I got to change from the peace to like, where were the police?

00:15:48.000 Where were the police disappearing me from this?

00:15:51.000 Does she post her version of it?

00:15:53.000 Go up or down?

00:15:57.000 She posts a video.

00:15:59.000 Oh, do you have the video where she's got him in the background?

00:16:02.000 Oh, let me see a hero.

00:16:05.000 Oh, you just have the drop from that, right?

00:16:06.000 Yeah.

00:16:08.000 What's 1-7 if you can't find it?

00:16:10.000 Because he's, while she's going, this just happened.

00:16:12.000 I was basically raped.

00:16:13.000 He's in the background going, hey.

00:16:16.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:16:17.000 That's very fun.

00:16:18.000 And then they canceled his comedy show, and he had a big party on the steps.

00:16:23.000 Oh, there's this one, yeah.

00:16:26.000 Look at that big ass.

00:16:28.000 Look at that big, juicy booty.

00:16:30.000 Look at that big ass.

00:16:31.000 She's looking right at her ass.

00:16:33.000 And go to 1-8.

00:16:36.000 She says it was a living hell.

00:16:38.000 Can you imagine Alex Stein complimenting you?

00:16:42.000 She should be mad about the part where he accused her of killing babies.

00:16:45.000 That's not offensive.

00:16:47.000 So being called a baby killer is a compliment.

00:16:49.000 And being told you have a great ass.

00:16:51.000 Yeah, that's him.

00:16:53.000 Hey, everybody.

00:16:53.000 I'm here in the Capitol.

00:16:55.000 See this guy right there?

00:16:58.000 Right there.

00:17:00.000 When I was walking up, he said, hey, right in front of the Capitol police officer.

00:17:08.000 Hey.

00:17:09.000 This could be our next president.

00:17:10.000 Here's this.

00:17:11.000 Look at that big ass.

00:17:12.000 Look at that big, juicy booty.

00:17:14.000 This Latina, like, whatever.

00:17:16.000 You know, all the bunch of racist, sexist stuff.

00:17:19.000 And since...

00:17:20.000 It's racist?

00:17:22.000 Nobody can do anything.

00:17:24.000 I'm just telling you.

00:17:25.000 With your boyfriend?

00:17:26.000 Because.

00:17:28.000 Yeah.

00:17:28.000 Your boyfriend, your husband, your fiancé should do something.

00:17:34.000 People.

00:17:36.000 So what should the police do?

00:17:37.000 Tackle him?

00:17:38.000 And it's really hard and it's really sad.

00:17:40.000 I can't wait to talk about it.

00:17:42.000 She said it was 1-9 deeply disgusting.

00:17:47.000 I posted about a deeply disgusting incident that happened today on the Capitol Steps, but took it down because it's clearly someone seeking extremist fame.

00:17:56.000 Her ass, she hates her ass so much that if you say it's a nice ass, you're an extremist.

00:18:02.000 Ayo, I think you have a fantastic ass.

00:18:05.000 And I'm an ass snob.

00:18:08.000 And a snob.

00:18:09.000 Asnob.

00:18:11.000 I'm on the Asnov Battalion.

00:18:14.000 Asnob.

00:18:15.000 Asnob Battalion.

00:18:16.000 What's 2-0?

00:18:17.000 The Buttalion, excuse me.

00:18:19.000 1-0?

00:18:21.000 I'm really surprised this went so viral.

00:18:23.000 It's like the biggest story in the country.

00:18:25.000 Hey, nice ass.

00:18:30.000 No sympathy.

00:18:31.000 AOC Blast.

00:18:32.000 Oh, this is funny.

00:18:32.000 People are making fun of her.

00:18:33.000 AOC blasted for complaining about harassment, though she belittled Kavanaugh's harassment.

00:18:38.000 Yeah, she said that was...

00:18:41.000 What did she say about Kavanaugh?

00:18:42.000 That was like, there's nothing more American than protesting.

00:18:46.000 Go down a bit.

00:18:49.000 You may have to hit continue.

00:18:54.000 Poor guy, he left before his souffle because he decided half the country should risk death if they have an ectopic pregnancy within the wrong state lines.

00:19:02.000 It's all very unfair to him.

00:19:04.000 The least they could do is let him eat cake.

00:19:07.000 And you know what's funny about that?

00:19:09.000 That was like three days ago.

00:19:10.000 It's not like they're dredging up some five-year-old tweet where she said she was okay with harassment.

00:19:15.000 No, you were okay with harassment three days ago.

00:19:19.000 And lastly, we got Marjorie Taylor Green.

00:19:23.000 God, she's a fucking badass.

00:19:25.000 She comes to AFPAC.

00:19:27.000 She works with Milo.

00:19:28.000 She has Alex Stein on after this.

00:19:30.000 I guarantee you, all her press people were like, stay away from Alex Stein.

00:19:33.000 This is too hot.

00:19:34.000 This is too hot.

00:19:35.000 I think she might have me on.

00:19:37.000 Maybe I could get her on this show.

00:19:40.000 I'm going to try.

00:19:42.000 Let's see.

00:19:43.000 Marjorie Taylor Green hosted the guy who made lewd comics radios and suggested she should be grateful for the attention.

00:19:51.000 Wait, look at this great report on Flapper.

00:19:54.000 AOC's bum is clearly Latinx.

00:19:56.000 Yes.

00:19:57.000 But is it big or juicy?

00:19:58.000 An investigative report.

00:20:00.000 Oh, I like this kind of journalism.

00:20:04.000 And they go into detail here.

00:20:06.000 Okay, so after hours of research, big and juicy.

00:20:09.000 That's reasonable.

00:20:10.000 Utilizing some of the sophisticated computer analysis, we're sad to report AOC's Bolshevik backside is not, in fact, big.

00:20:17.000 Well, hold on a sec.

00:20:19.000 Asses change over time.

00:20:22.000 So those pictures are from like a couple years ago.

00:20:25.000 I think she's gotten a bigger ass from sitting on it all the time, spending taxpayers' dollars on fucking iced coffees.

00:20:35.000 All right, have you got Alex Stein on the line?

00:20:38.000 Alex Stein, 99 on the Leezy La Lai line.

00:20:41.000 Here, we hit it.

00:20:48.000 Primetime Stein, are you there, sir?

00:20:50.000 I'm on the ground all the time, David.

00:20:52.000 I'm in DC, the belly of the beast, the swamp.

00:20:55.000 This place is insane in the membrane.

00:20:58.000 I'm not just saying that.

00:20:59.000 I feel like I'm in some sort of Illuminati piss ritual where everybody's trying to urinate on me in order to gain clout.

00:21:06.000 So do you think this is your most viral moment?

00:21:09.000 Well, of course, dude.

00:21:11.000 And it's totally unexpected because if you think about what happened, this is what people don't realize.

00:21:15.000 A lot of the conservative side are getting mad.

00:21:17.000 They're like, Alex, why would you say that perverted thing?

00:21:21.000 AOC constantly victimizes or plays the victim and says that people only dislike her because they want to date her.

00:21:27.000 So I called this out before I came here.

00:21:29.000 I said, if I'm going to see AOC, I'm going to sexualize her because I want to give her concrete evidence of sexualization, knowing that she couldn't ignore it.

00:21:36.000 But the idea that she was going to make 10 selfie videos about it on Instagram, do a freaking Instagram survey about it, and blow this up to the biggest story of the week, I had no idea.

00:21:46.000 I mean, that was gangbusters, insane that it worked out like that.

00:21:50.000 Yeah, I noticed, too, she came over like, peace, what you're saying doesn't affect me.

00:21:54.000 I don't care.

00:21:55.000 And then afterwards, she went, oh, I could use this for more victimization.

00:21:58.000 So then she changed her mind and made it like, I was almost raped.

00:22:03.000 Well, the worst part about it is that was her fiancé.

00:22:05.000 I totally cucked her fiancé.

00:22:07.000 I'm saying, oh, you got a big juicy Latina booty.

00:22:10.000 You're a hot tamale.

00:22:11.000 Yeah, Joe Biden's calling Mexicans breakfast tacos.

00:22:14.000 But God forbid I call her a hot tamale.

00:22:16.000 I'm the biggest racist since, you know, General Robert E. Lee to these people.

00:22:22.000 It's insane.

00:22:23.000 Well, she was mad the police didn't arrest you, but I'm like, what's the charge?

00:22:27.000 Yeah, having a big booty in public should be charged.

00:22:30.000 She should have been the one charged with the crime.

00:22:32.000 And, dude, AOC's hot.

00:22:33.000 I don't care what you say.

00:22:34.000 Her politics are trash.

00:22:36.000 Dude, she had a short skirt on, no panty line.

00:22:39.000 It was hiked up with her booty.

00:22:41.000 I'm seeing long legs.

00:22:42.000 She was very petite.

00:22:43.000 She was thin.

00:22:45.000 She had it going on like Donkey Kong.

00:22:47.000 And I'm not kidding.

00:22:48.000 If she was ugly in person, I would have said that.

00:22:50.000 But even with the mask, I would have hit it from the back, as they say, in the hood.

00:22:55.000 Well, she did well with tips as a barmaid because she's attractive and people want to leave her money.

00:23:02.000 And Gavin, you know that she basically got casted in her documentary, the Netflix documentary, about how she got that job.

00:23:07.000 They literally wanted a pretty girl.

00:23:09.000 I'm sure she beat out some, you know, gay, you know, transgender, you know, juggler or something.

00:23:15.000 Who knows who she beat out to get that role?

00:23:17.000 But she's 32 years old and she's considered like the most popular congresswoman.

00:23:21.000 So that shows you it's a fake swamp.

00:23:23.000 They're all idiots.

00:23:24.000 If she is the queen, idiot.

00:23:26.000 No, we really are drowning in affirmative action with that press secretary, Kamala Harris, not speaking English.

00:23:32.000 And this, like, it killed South Africa.

00:23:36.000 It killed Venezuela.

00:23:38.000 All of these countries got drowned in affirmative action.

00:23:40.000 It's killing Europe, and it's going to kill us.

00:23:42.000 I wouldn't be surprised if Michelle Obama is the next president.

00:23:46.000 Okay, and Michelle Obama is a boy, but I know you don't agree with that.

00:23:49.000 She has a penis.

00:23:50.000 She might not be a boy anymore.

00:23:51.000 But what I'm saying is that's kind of a joke.

00:23:52.000 That's the joke I always say.

00:23:54.000 If you've never seen that conspiracy, Gavin, you hate when I get all conspiratorial.

00:23:57.000 But you know Barack Obama with a guy named Larry Sellers, you know, supposedly did cocaine and had gay sex.

00:24:02.000 You know that one, right?

00:24:03.000 Yeah, I've heard that one.

00:24:04.000 Well, I've heard the theory that they know it's going to come out that she's trans, so that's why they're pushing so much trans shit so it'll be normalized by the time she's ready to run.

00:24:13.000 Well, that's what I'm saying.

00:24:14.000 I don't know if she'll be the president because then they're going to have to admit that she's a linebacker for the Chicago Bears or could be.

00:24:21.000 Well, but on a serious note, when we talk about the president, Gavin Newsom happened to come here.

00:24:27.000 As soon as Joe Biden goes to Israel, you know, our biggest ally, thank you so much for going there.

00:24:31.000 I just want to really personally thank him.

00:24:33.000 Thank you so much, Joe.

00:24:34.000 But as soon as he went to Israel, Gavin Newsom came and took a tour of the White House.

00:24:38.000 So that should be a little dog whistling like, oh, they're going to put him in.

00:24:43.000 He's going to be in the driver's seat for the next, I think, candidate.

00:24:46.000 Have you not seen that?

00:24:47.000 No, but he almost got recalled.

00:24:49.000 How could they run him?

00:24:51.000 He ruined California.

00:24:52.000 Kamala Harris can't even speak English.

00:24:54.000 Joe Biden's son is smoking crack and weighing it out with his genitals.

00:24:59.000 So do you think that just because of that, that's going to stop him because he got recalled?

00:25:04.000 Actually, matter of fact, they can turn that into a thing.

00:25:06.000 Oh, well, these racist people try to recall him.

00:25:09.000 So, you know, he's been unfairly targeted.

00:25:12.000 So, you know, he should be the president.

00:25:14.000 You know, they can always twist all this crap.

00:25:17.000 You know, nothing will surprise me.

00:25:19.000 Justin Chudeau has been elected three times.

00:25:21.000 It's totally possible that we could get an even bigger clown show in the next four years.

00:25:27.000 And, you know, it's funny.

00:25:28.000 They all talk about, you know, white supremacy is our biggest problem.

00:25:31.000 Yet Joe Biden is like a 100-year-old white guy that's been a politician his whole life.

00:25:35.000 And then you look at, I mean, you just like, Gavin Newsom is as white as it gets.

00:25:40.000 I mean, it doesn't even get any whiter or blue blood than Gavin Newsom.

00:25:44.000 Yeah, he looks like an Aryan villain in a fucking sitcom.

00:25:47.000 Hey, where are you going right now?

00:25:48.000 You got a busy day.

00:25:49.000 Is this all because of AOC?

00:25:51.000 No, no, no, no.

00:25:52.000 I was planning on going.

00:25:53.000 That's why I'm in D.C. to go on Tim Poole's show.

00:25:55.000 Oh, yeah.

00:25:57.000 That's why I was here.

00:25:58.000 So I came a couple days early to try to, you know, get some content, stir things up.

00:26:02.000 And honestly, they canceled my comedy show last night.

00:26:05.000 The media called the DC Art Center and said that I'm a proud boy and that I'm a sexual harasser and all this stuff.

00:26:13.000 And so they were, even though I had a signed contract with them, I sold like 60 tickets.

00:26:18.000 They were still able to cancel it because of security reasons.

00:26:20.000 So it's not like I'm going to sue them.

00:26:22.000 I get it.

00:26:23.000 They say they got threatened.

00:26:25.000 But I was so, I was a little bummed out.

00:26:27.000 Not about the money, just because people traveled here all over Virginia.

00:26:30.000 So I felt bad.

00:26:31.000 But nearly 50 people came and met me at the steps of the Capitol.

00:26:35.000 Marjorie Taylor Green was there.

00:26:37.000 And we had a meet and greet.

00:26:39.000 It was fun.

00:26:40.000 You know, we told some jokes.

00:26:41.000 It almost was a better event, even though they tried to shut us down.

00:26:44.000 So it's a streistan effect, and they tried to shut it down.

00:26:47.000 Then it got your attention, Gavin.

00:26:48.000 So it kind of helps when they shut you down.

00:26:51.000 It's weird how it works like that.

00:26:52.000 Yeah.

00:26:53.000 All right.

00:26:53.000 Well, have fun today.

00:26:54.000 Enjoy your moment in the sun and pry it open.

00:26:58.000 And next, I know.

00:26:59.000 And next week, let me come on and let me come on and do a proper interview and I'll tell you everything that happened.

00:27:04.000 Dude, I want you to live here.

00:27:05.000 I want you to live at the studio.

00:27:07.000 I'm okay.

00:27:08.000 Well, maybe I'll move to Ryan.

00:27:11.000 This isn't the best video.

00:27:12.000 Keep watching this.

00:27:13.000 No, I want to stay on.

00:27:14.000 Keep watching and show the wave.

00:27:15.000 Ryan, play that whole video and watch me wave to her.

00:27:18.000 Look how goofy I look.

00:27:19.000 I look like a gay tourist.

00:27:20.000 We got to show this video.

00:27:21.000 Watch the video, Gavin, and listen.

00:27:23.000 Watch what I do.

00:27:24.000 Go play it again.

00:27:25.000 That was just the sound drop, but I can grab the full video.

00:27:29.000 We'll play it after we say goodbye to you.

00:27:31.000 I like you more than a friend.

00:27:32.000 Later.

00:27:33.000 I love you, Gavin.

00:27:34.000 You're the man.

00:27:34.000 Keep doing God's job.

00:27:36.000 You're doing the Lord's work.

00:27:37.000 Not me.

00:27:38.000 They're saying I'm doing the Lord's work.

00:27:39.000 No, dude, I'm just creating more chaos, trying to expose these people for the hypocrisy.

00:27:44.000 And I'm trying to see some big moody Latinas while I do it.

00:27:48.000 Okay, I'll see you.

00:27:48.000 All right, buddy.

00:27:49.000 I'll talk to you next week.

00:27:50.000 Ciao.

00:27:51.000 Peace.

00:27:56.000 That guy's going to go deaf from his own voice.

00:27:59.000 I don't know what you're talking about, Gavin.

00:28:00.000 Gavin, I can get you Cadillac and Verbal right now for like $300, Gavin.

00:28:07.000 He must be drowning in pussy.

00:28:09.000 He can fuck any conservative he wants.

00:28:11.000 I had a chick hit me up on Instagram.

00:28:13.000 She was like, can you hook me up with him?

00:28:15.000 Yes, I've had that too.

00:28:16.000 Oh, really?

00:28:16.000 Yeah.

00:28:17.000 Yeah.

00:28:17.000 And I was like, go for it.

00:28:18.000 And she was like spazzing out a little bit.

00:28:20.000 The chick was like an intern I had a million years ago at CRTV, who's like fucking 10.

00:28:25.000 And I'm like, okay.

00:28:27.000 Bye, pussy.

00:28:29.000 I just watched pussy go by.

00:28:31.000 That's what marriage is.

00:28:32.000 You're in a bus and you're looking out the window as pussy goes by.

00:28:36.000 I know.

00:28:38.000 It's gone.

00:28:39.000 Yeah, I was like, yeah, whatever her name, you know, Annabelle.

00:28:44.000 I'll just make up a name.

00:28:45.000 They'd be like, yeah, this girl, Annabelle, she's interested in you.

00:28:47.000 He's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:28:48.000 I already talked to Annabelle.

00:28:50.000 And I sent him the account and he's like, oh, that's a different one.

00:28:56.000 He's carpet bombing DC with his dick right now.

00:28:59.000 Is Ashley St. Clair still with that doctor, dude?

00:29:02.000 He could bang her.

00:29:03.000 He could bang Isabelle O'Reilly.

00:29:05.000 Isabella DeLuca, I think, is married now.

00:29:09.000 That's three.

00:29:10.000 Gavin, I got Chlamydia.

00:29:12.000 I got Gonoria.

00:29:12.000 Gavin, I have General Wars.

00:29:14.000 Gavin.

00:29:14.000 It's not stopping him here.

00:29:17.000 99 is not going to be a good idea.

00:29:18.000 You got to make an Alex Steinface.

00:29:20.000 That has to happen.

00:29:22.000 I'm going to write that down.

00:29:23.000 That might be the name of this episode.

00:29:25.000 Alex Steinface.

00:29:26.000 Alex Steinface.

00:29:27.000 I have a resting Alex Steinface.

00:29:30.000 ASF.

00:29:31.000 AOC versus ASF.

00:29:33.000 Okay, let's talk about the suburbs.

00:29:35.000 Let's take a different route.

00:29:38.000 Oh, shall we hit this on the motherfucking green?

00:29:52.000 Come on, everybody.

00:29:56.000 I left the suburbs in 1988.

00:29:59.000 The suburbs I left were bucolic.

00:30:01.000 It was fun.

00:30:02.000 You didn't know how your neighbor voted.

00:30:04.000 Asking your neighbor how they voted would be incredibly invasive.

00:30:08.000 It would be like, are you circumcised?

00:30:10.000 Or how often do you shit?

00:30:12.000 So it didn't come up.

00:30:14.000 We didn't know how our neighbors voted.

00:30:15.000 We didn't talk politics.

00:30:16.000 You weren't defined by your politics.

00:30:18.000 Now there's entire areas that are left, right, that narrow the two shall meet.

00:30:23.000 The suburbs I grew up in, kids played outside.

00:30:26.000 The suburbs I live in now, everyone goes to country clubs.

00:30:30.000 And I should sort of warn you, I'm talking about a very particular demographic.

00:30:35.000 I'm talking about suburban Westchester, upper middle class, disproportionately Jewish.

00:30:40.000 Jews are 3% of the population, but in parts of Westchester, they're like 20.

00:30:47.000 Very affluent, maybe even higher than upper middle class.

00:30:50.000 So it's not all suburbs.

00:30:52.000 The bucolic 70s suburbs that I grew up in with the big wheels and making jumps and playing street hockey and yelling, car, every time a car comes by and moving the nets out of the way, that might still exist.

00:31:03.000 I don't know.

00:31:03.000 It doesn't exist where I am.

00:31:06.000 And, you know, I was coming from the East Village where I'd have one friend who was six feet tall with facial tattoos, another friend who was like a black midget.

00:31:13.000 And it was easy to tell everyone apart.

00:31:14.000 Everyone was so weird.

00:31:15.000 I come to the suburbs.

00:31:17.000 Everyone looks the same, but they're weirder.

00:31:21.000 And there's drugs, there's infidelity, there's all kinds of shit.

00:31:25.000 So it's like, it's weirder than living in the Lower East Side of New York, but it looks totally normal.

00:31:33.000 So I'd like to present to you 10 weird things about the suburbs.

00:31:38.000 Number one, they're all pussies.

00:31:42.000 They're scared of nature.

00:31:44.000 And I mean petrified.

00:31:46.000 And I'll give you three examples of that.

00:31:48.000 One is bees.

00:31:51.000 If there's a wasp, if they're having hot dogs outside or at a barbecue, they don't really barbecue.

00:31:56.000 But if there's like a, I just chose this because it's a funny video of a wasp.

00:32:00.000 It's just b-roll.

00:32:01.000 Shift it over that way a bit, Ryan.

00:32:03.000 They're having hot dogs or something.

00:32:05.000 A wasp comes by.

00:32:05.000 What do you do?

00:32:06.000 Normal people, you just sort of go, oh, there's a wasp there.

00:32:09.000 They get up.

00:32:10.000 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:32:12.000 The kids, the dad, they all freak the fuck out like it's an African killer bee.

00:32:18.000 And they can't sit down again until that wasp is gone.

00:32:21.000 Of course, he's not gone.

00:32:21.000 There's like sugary drinks in the garbage.

00:32:24.000 He's a pig and shit.

00:32:27.000 They cannot deal with wasps.

00:32:28.000 The other thing that freaks them the Fuck out is poison ivy.

00:32:32.000 So they're petrified of any kind of shrubs and bushes and forest.

00:32:35.000 So if you're at a baseball game and the ball rolls, they're like, I'll get it, I'll get it.

00:32:39.000 And then it rolls literally two feet into the shrubbery foliage.

00:32:43.000 They're just like, oh, well, can't go get that.

00:32:46.000 I'll get poison ivy and die.

00:32:49.000 So if someone from the suburbs is chasing you, take two steps into the forest and then be like, bye.

00:32:57.000 And you'll have a force field.

00:32:59.000 The third example of the fear of nature is the sun.

00:33:02.000 They think the sun is made of AIDS.

00:33:04.000 They will wear like a sun hat.

00:33:07.000 They'll go for a walk with a huge sun hat.

00:33:09.000 You know, with the little toggle thing here?

00:33:11.000 They have that on.

00:33:12.000 They obsessively rub it on their kids.

00:33:14.000 I don't think they realize this.

00:33:16.000 You get sunburned from after 10 to around 2 p.m.

00:33:21.000 4 o'clock, 5 o'clock.

00:33:23.000 They're slathering it on with these dumb fucking hats.

00:33:26.000 And they wear, not just the kids wearing swim shirts, swim pants.

00:33:30.000 Like a swim, complete swim-proof suit, sunproof suit.

00:33:34.000 And the dad has it too with his little hat.

00:33:36.000 Not a bucket hat, but like a hat with a rim this big.

00:33:40.000 Because the sun's going to get you.

00:33:41.000 Remember when I was a kid, we'd be fucking red lobsters.

00:33:45.000 And we'd pick off sheets of skin like that big.

00:33:48.000 No one gets sunburned anymore.

00:33:51.000 You're going to hell if you get fucking hot from the sun.

00:33:56.000 Two, they all look exactly the same.

00:33:59.000 This was a real problem when I first moved here.

00:34:02.000 I knew two dudes, these like they were coaching my son in baseball.

00:34:05.000 I thought they were the same guy until I saw them together.

00:34:09.000 They always wear the exact same shit.

00:34:11.000 The men wear these, they wear like athletic shoes, jogging shoes with the little no-see socks, which is so gay because you can see the edge of the sock.

00:34:21.000 So why are you pretending you're not wearing socks?

00:34:23.000 I can see your socks.

00:34:25.000 But there's basically three outfits.

00:34:29.000 So the women, now in the affluent suburbs, they have an au pair and they have a nanny and they don't do the cooking or the cleaning or the anything.

00:34:38.000 They don't drive the kids that round.

00:34:40.000 So they have nothing but free time.

00:34:41.000 They have one job and that's don't get fat.

00:34:45.000 Maybe two jobs.

00:34:46.000 Don't get fat and maintain the status of the family.

00:34:49.000 So they obsessively talk about other people's kids.

00:34:52.000 I heard a conversation once where she goes, yeah, so Tim got a haircut.

00:34:58.000 And the other moms go, you mean Lisa's kid?

00:35:00.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:35:01.000 But his hair was pretty long, right?

00:35:03.000 It was like down to here.

00:35:04.000 Yeah, it's not short, short, but it's shorter.

00:35:07.000 I think it looks pretty good.

00:35:08.000 And they go, huh?

00:35:09.000 I almost went over to them and went, you give a fuck about someone else's kid's hair?

00:35:16.000 But they do.

00:35:17.000 And they're into like who takes rowing lessons and who's dating whom is big with them because it's eugenics.

00:35:22.000 They want to keep breeding.

00:35:23.000 They live in these all-white communities.

00:35:24.000 Their biggest fear is racism.

00:35:26.000 And the only thing that approaches that is their fear of blacks.

00:35:30.000 Their daughter marrying a black guy or a poor guy.

00:35:33.000 Holy fuck.

00:35:34.000 Anyway, so they wear Lululemon.

00:35:36.000 That's what they look like.

00:35:38.000 After the kids go to school, they've got till 3 p.m. to kill.

00:35:42.000 So they'll go to the gym.

00:35:44.000 They'll work out.

00:35:45.000 They go on these long fucking like three-mile walks with their friends with a big, huge iced coffee and just natter.

00:35:53.000 Constantly, you see them in the car and they've got their Bluetooth on in the car and they're like, how do you natter that much?

00:36:00.000 I natter for a living and I can't hold a candle to your natters.

00:36:06.000 In the winter, they wear the same coat their husbands wear, which is a black Patagonia.

00:36:11.000 They don't look like, no one looks like this in the suburbs.

00:36:13.000 But this jacket is their fucking uniform.

00:36:17.000 Like 100% of the people in the suburbs wear this jacket.

00:36:22.000 Sometimes, if they're feeling like fucking lunatics, they'll wear the vest version, but they always wear the black down Patagonia thing.

00:36:30.000 They love Patagonia, I guess, because it's environmental.

00:36:33.000 These are liberals I'm talking about, by the way.

00:36:35.000 I'm not talking about red suburbs.

00:36:39.000 They also, this is the weirdest thing.

00:36:42.000 It's such a random choice.

00:36:44.000 When they go to work in the winter, they wear a quarter zipper sweater with a tie.

00:36:50.000 And then on top of that, first of all, what the fuck is more annoying than a quarter zip?

00:36:56.000 What is the purpose of this?

00:36:57.000 Ooh, it's getting chilly.

00:36:59.000 Oh, it's warmed up a bit.

00:37:02.000 This doesn't make a fucking difference.

00:37:04.000 And I don't know if you wear suits.

00:37:05.000 I'm wearing a Minita fashion specialty over here.

00:37:08.000 They're fucking hot.

00:37:11.000 Like, I don't usually wear a jacket.

00:37:13.000 Even in February, I'll walk around Manhattan and like this because, you know, you're going from subway to thing.

00:37:17.000 You don't really have time to get cold.

00:37:20.000 Do you wear a sweater with this?

00:37:21.000 Go to the next one.

00:37:22.000 No, no, no, the next link.

00:37:25.000 They wear it with a blazer.

00:37:27.000 A sweater, this is like the fucking hottest thing in the universe.

00:37:31.000 I could climb Mount Everest in this.

00:37:33.000 A thick blazer with a sweater and a...

00:37:36.000 You look like a fucking fool.

00:37:38.000 And they all wear it.

00:37:39.000 That's the crazy thing, too.

00:37:40.000 I tell you about these random outfits like Lululemon and Vineyard Vines.

00:37:45.000 The ubiquity is bizarre.

00:37:49.000 It's a complete, total and utter conformity.

00:37:52.000 That's the other one I want to talk about.

00:37:53.000 In the summer, the men were Vineyard Vines.

00:37:56.000 Now, it's all about status in the suburbs now, right?

00:37:59.000 So Vineyard Vines was started by two lazy rich kids in Martha's Vineyard.

00:38:04.000 And it's just stupid garbage clothes, right?

00:38:07.000 Just t-shirts and flip-flops.

00:38:09.000 And they started with ties that named streets in Martha's Vineyard.

00:38:12.000 What Vineyard Vines means is I summer in Martha's Vineyard.

00:38:17.000 What other people think of them is incredibly important.

00:38:19.000 You haven't seen this kind of classism outside of Britain anywhere.

00:38:24.000 They show their status by Vineyard Vines and their kid's school.

00:38:28.000 So if they get their kid into an Ivy League school, that has to go on the back window.

00:38:32.000 So the Vineyard Vines on the back window is a sticker.

00:38:36.000 And, you know, my daughter is at Harvard or whatever.

00:38:40.000 That's their equivalent of like, hello, how are you, darling?

00:38:43.000 That's their posh accent.

00:38:46.000 And they wear them with flip-flops or those stupid fucking slippers, drivers, which must reek like shit, these leather slipper shoes.

00:38:56.000 Go to the 19.

00:38:58.000 What are you waiting for?

00:38:59.000 Oops.

00:39:00.000 Hello?

00:39:01.000 Got you.

00:39:01.000 Did you fall asleep at the wheel?

00:39:03.000 I did not.

00:39:04.000 What are you doing?

00:39:06.000 So some of them wear these, but almost all of them wear flip-flops.

00:39:09.000 And they'll wear flip-flops well into September and October.

00:39:11.000 So they'll have their Patagonia jacket on with jeans and fucking men's toes.

00:39:17.000 Like the suburbs in the summer is an absolute raging toe convention.

00:39:23.000 Go back up a bit.

00:39:24.000 They still wear cargoes.

00:39:27.000 And you're talking to a dude and you're looking down at his fucking toes, like at a bar.

00:39:31.000 And then sometimes, I've seen this before, at the bar, their foot will come out of their flip-flop, and then they'll put their toes like rested on the little bar at the bottom there, that little brass thing, like a little monkey.

00:39:43.000 It's like, why don't you pull your dick out while you're at it?

00:39:46.000 Of course, there's never going to be any conflict.

00:39:48.000 They're never going to be in a fight.

00:39:49.000 So it doesn't occur to them to, you know, be prepared.

00:39:52.000 So yeah, those are some random outfits they seem to have chosen, but everyone wears them.

00:39:58.000 There's zero difference.

00:40:00.000 So sometimes I'll meet a parent that I know through like my kids' sports and they'll be like, hi, Gavin.

00:40:04.000 And I'll go, hello.

00:40:06.000 How are you?

00:40:08.000 No fucking clue who it is.

00:40:10.000 And I could have talked to them for an hour because they all look men and women exactly the same.

00:40:16.000 Four.

00:40:17.000 Wait, number three, speaking of random, they only like two bands and they love these bands.

00:40:25.000 The bands are the Red Hot Chili Peppers and The Grateful Dead.

00:40:31.000 Like, does that sound like someone just threw a dartboard at a Rolling Stone magazine from 20 years ago?

00:40:37.000 The Red Hot Chili Peppers, the Funky Punky band with California Cation and all that stuff?

00:40:43.000 And they think this is kind of badass, too.

00:40:46.000 Like, they'll be playing at Madison Square Garden and they'll be like, yeah, I'm going to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

00:40:51.000 That's like Slayer to them.

00:40:52.000 Like, I'm a fucking psycho rock and roll warrior and I listen to funky punk.

00:41:00.000 Okay, go nuts.

00:41:01.000 And then Grateful Dead.

00:41:03.000 You mean that shitty jam band that burnt out hippies like?

00:41:07.000 What are you, a homeless person in San Francisco on 8th Street?

00:41:10.000 The Grateful Dead.

00:41:11.000 And with the Grateful Dead, it's actually one of the few times you see them stray from their fashion.

00:41:15.000 They'll have like a Grateful Dead watch, Grateful Dead shirt, Grateful Dead umbrella.

00:41:20.000 They love Grateful Dead merch and showing people that they like the Grateful Dead.

00:41:24.000 And that, again, is considered badass.

00:41:26.000 I guess because the logo's a skull.

00:41:29.000 So not only do they like these shitty random bands, a corny pop band, and a agonizingly dull jam band, but they also sort of think that you're like, holy fuck, man.

00:41:41.000 You like Sepultura?

00:41:43.000 Like, they think it's dangerous and edgy or something.

00:41:48.000 Number four, speaking of dangerous and edgy, I'm not popular in my suburban community.

00:41:53.000 I'm well known, well-hated, and no one has the balls to come up to me, of course.

00:41:58.000 And my attitude with people who hate me is very simple.

00:42:01.000 If you want to debate, we can debate.

00:42:02.000 If you want to fight, we can fight.

00:42:04.000 Otherwise, fuck off.

00:42:06.000 Like, why would I give a shit what a stranger thinks?

00:42:08.000 Hey, are you guys, how do you feel about the G-Dog?

00:42:11.000 Are you positive?

00:42:13.000 Okay, so no?

00:42:13.000 Okay.

00:42:14.000 Sorry.

00:42:15.000 You don't want me here?

00:42:16.000 You feel unsafe?

00:42:17.000 Okay, I got that once.

00:42:18.000 I told you that, right?

00:42:19.000 British guy's like, my Jewish friend over there says he feels unsafe with you here.

00:42:23.000 I go, that's the gayest thing I've ever heard.

00:42:25.000 And he goes, no, it isn't.

00:42:26.000 And they go, yeah, it is.

00:42:27.000 And then we said, no, it isn't.

00:42:28.000 Yeah, it is, maybe 10 times.

00:42:31.000 Anyway, they want me to know that I hate them, so they stare.

00:42:35.000 And they think that's the same as like shoving someone.

00:42:39.000 So they'll go like this, like.

00:42:46.000 So what I usually do is just go, hi, and then walk away or something.

00:42:51.000 They'll do it.

00:42:52.000 One time, some guy did it.

00:42:53.000 He walked by my house and he's staring at me the whole time.

00:42:56.000 And then he does it for like a block.

00:42:59.000 Like he's turned the corner.

00:43:01.000 He's about 500 feet away still with the...

00:43:05.000 And now he has to sort of crane his neck.

00:43:10.000 Is that...

00:43:12.000 Do you have lasers for eyes?

00:43:13.000 I don't understand what you think is happening here.

00:43:15.000 Do you think you're Superman?

00:43:17.000 You look fucking ridiculous.

00:43:19.000 And yeah, in prison, if some dude is staring at you, it's probably pretty fucking scary.

00:43:23.000 Want it some pussy who's scared of nature in a vineyard vines shirt and Grateful Dead on his iPod?

00:43:31.000 Not scary, guys.

00:43:32.000 Not scary.

00:43:33.000 Funny, actually.

00:43:37.000 Here's this one I do not get.

00:43:39.000 Number five, they're constantly giving coaches shit.

00:43:43.000 Like, this guy volunteered to be a dad, to do your job.

00:43:47.000 It's your job to play catch with your kid and make sure he has fun and let him get better at sports.

00:43:52.000 And they're like, they act like the guy's making a million dollars a year.

00:43:56.000 They scream at him.

00:43:58.000 They start beef.

00:43:59.000 I remember there was this one beef where my kid's coach made a banner of the team and the parents were pissed.

00:44:06.000 Guess why?

00:44:07.000 Well, I don't have three weeks to stand here.

00:44:09.000 I'll tell you why.

00:44:10.000 The coach is putting his favorite players in the middle and the players he doesn't like, he puts at the edge.

00:44:15.000 I talked to the coach.

00:44:15.000 He goes, I didn't even design that.

00:44:17.000 I just gave it to a graphics company that makes the banners and they put them together.

00:44:20.000 I didn't fucking choose anyone.

00:44:22.000 He ended up quitting, by the way.

00:44:23.000 He quit coaching because it takes up all your weekends.

00:44:26.000 Like imagine you had someone who volunteered to come by and look at this guy.

00:44:31.000 I'll sue you till you get to the bottom.

00:44:33.000 I'll sue you.

00:44:38.000 One time I saw a fight where the guy was threatening the coach so much the coach picked up a bat and said, you better fucking back down, Larry.

00:44:45.000 And you know what a parent yelled out?

00:44:48.000 Because one of them fell back off his chair, if I recall correctly.

00:44:51.000 And so there's a big kerfuffle.

00:44:52.000 You hear the other bats fall down.

00:44:53.000 And some parent yells out, hey, hey, there's no home here.

00:44:59.000 That tells you the kind of level of testosterone we're dealing with in the suburbs.

00:45:03.000 Like those two guys were going to go, that's a teaching moment.

00:45:07.000 Wake up call.

00:45:09.000 Hey, bring it in.

00:45:10.000 Bring it in.

00:45:13.000 But yeah, someone volunteers to rake your leaves, and you come over and you're like, what the fuck is this?

00:45:18.000 You said you were going to get all of these leaves and then also do the trimming, the edging, fuckface.

00:45:24.000 That's how they talk to coaches.

00:45:25.000 I like, if my son was at the bottom of the lineup, I would go, I guess He sucks.

00:45:31.000 I hope he gets better.

00:45:32.000 I wouldn't be like, put my son third, fuckface.

00:45:35.000 You assume the coach, like, what, the coach has a bias against your son?

00:45:39.000 If anyone, it would be my son, because I'm the asshole in town.

00:45:42.000 But it would never occur to me.

00:45:44.000 One coach said, You know, you're the only family that's never complained to me about something.

00:45:48.000 Yeah, you're volunteering to help my son play his favorite game.

00:45:53.000 Bitching at you is number 986 on my to-do list.

00:46:02.000 I just got mad, by the way.

00:46:04.000 Number six, they talk about the fucking weather.

00:46:09.000 Like in a bar.

00:46:11.000 I don't do weather.

00:46:12.000 It's one of my rules.

00:46:13.000 I cannot handle that level of small talk.

00:46:15.000 Please, come on, people.

00:46:17.000 But they'll be like, yeah, apparently on Tuesday, it's going to be like 80 degrees.

00:46:20.000 And when that person says that, everyone else knows.

00:46:23.000 They don't just know today and tomorrow.

00:46:25.000 They know the whole week.

00:46:27.000 So they're like, yeah, but it's going to break around Wednesday, I think they said it's going to break.

00:46:31.000 And it'll go down to like high 70s or something.

00:46:34.000 Yeah, I figured that's been the pattern for several million years.

00:46:39.000 So I figured it would get hot and then it wouldn't be so hot and then it'd be dry for a while and then it would rain.

00:46:44.000 Like if I'm going to go on my motorcycle, I check my weather app to see if I'm going to get caught in the rain.

00:46:49.000 Otherwise, who fucking cares?

00:46:51.000 It's just war, as you see in Glasgow.

00:46:53.000 If you walk around Glasgow, Scotland, by the way, with an umbrella, people will yell at you.

00:46:57.000 It's just war!

00:46:59.000 That's how they pronounce water.

00:47:03.000 Another thing they talk about a lot, by the way, I could have made this a separate one, is pizza.

00:47:07.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:47:08.000 Frankie's has the best pizza.

00:47:10.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:47:10.000 It's in the North Bronx, North Bronx on fucking 158th Street.

00:47:14.000 Yeah, but it shut down for a while.

00:47:16.000 They know so much shit about boring shit.

00:47:18.000 It's shut down for a while because the mother, like who the owner there, she got really sick.

00:47:22.000 But it's opening and the sons are handling it now.

00:47:25.000 But yeah, best pizza in New York State.

00:47:26.000 Best pizza.

00:47:28.000 Shut up.

00:47:28.000 Fuck.

00:47:29.000 All pizza in New York is good, by the way.

00:47:32.000 If you want to try some bad pizza, go to L.A. It's not even cooked.

00:47:37.000 It's not even finished.

00:47:39.000 The dough is still wet.

00:47:42.000 Number seven, this isn't really their fault, but gays don't exist.

00:47:48.000 And that was, I got kind of culture shock because I'm a fag who loves sucking dicks.

00:47:52.000 No, I got kind of culture shock because from Montreal to 1988, New York City, gays were always like 40% of the population.

00:48:02.000 They were like a voting force.

00:48:05.000 And if there was going to be a new street sign put in, they'd be like, well, what do the gays think?

00:48:09.000 The gays, the gays.

00:48:10.000 It's like in Montreal, it was all English versus French as opposed to racial stuff.

00:48:14.000 There was no racial politics in Montreal.

00:48:16.000 That was kind of weird when I came to America and it was all about race.

00:48:19.000 I never even thought of race before.

00:48:21.000 And then going from the city to the suburbs, and I'm sure this is true of all suburbs, all of a sudden, poof.

00:48:27.000 Poofs are gone.

00:48:29.000 Poof to the poofs.

00:48:31.000 And you don't see any anymore.

00:48:32.000 I mean, I don't give a shit.

00:48:34.000 I don't like or dislike gays.

00:48:35.000 They're just around.

00:48:36.000 They're like dogs.

00:48:39.000 But it was so weird to all of a sudden have a major part of the population just cease to be.

00:48:44.000 And now they pretend their niece is trans.

00:48:46.000 That's the new thing.

00:48:47.000 To try to up the diversity quotient because they're deeply ashamed of the lack of diversity.

00:48:51.000 Oh, I should have put that in.

00:48:53.000 Oh, I guess we're going to get to that in a sense.

00:48:57.000 They honestly think they're diverse.

00:48:59.000 And in the day, it is.

00:49:01.000 There's Hispanic groundskeepers.

00:49:03.000 There's black maids.

00:49:05.000 There's Hispanic cleaners.

00:49:08.000 And the bus stops around 7 p.m., they're very diverse as everyone goes back to the Bronx to sleep.

00:49:15.000 But at 9 p.m., it's 100% white.

00:49:19.000 Because, number eight, servants do everything.

00:49:23.000 Everything.

00:49:24.000 They have, I told you earlier, they have the nanny and the au pair.

00:49:28.000 I think one of the reasons that the women are such chatterboxes is because they're fucking bored.

00:49:33.000 They have, everything has been delegated.

00:49:35.000 So I think women are like octopuses, right?

00:49:38.000 They have these eight arms that can do 10 things at once.

00:49:41.000 They'll tell a kid to calm down and they'll console another one while they're cooking spaghetti and then cleaning something on the ceiling simultaneously.

00:49:49.000 You take away all those tasks and the octopus is just like, ah, I guess I'm going to meddle in Gavin's life.

00:49:55.000 I guess I'm going to talk about that other kid's new hairdo.

00:49:58.000 So they just become these like irritating meddlers in Lululemon.

00:50:04.000 But you see their groceries get dropped off by Fresh Direct.

00:50:08.000 They don't shop at the store.

00:50:10.000 Their dry cleaning, that all gets dropped off.

00:50:13.000 The maid does the laundry.

00:50:16.000 And you know what's funny about them too?

00:50:18.000 They'll have like Consuela is there and they're like, they think this is really brave.

00:50:22.000 They go, Consuela is family to us.

00:50:25.000 Okay, good.

00:50:25.000 Now you have diversity.

00:50:26.000 You know what you can't do to your family?

00:50:28.000 You can't fire them.

00:50:29.000 She's your slave.

00:50:31.000 Once again, rich white people, their idea of diversity is a diversity of servants.

00:50:36.000 That's why they always mention food.

00:50:38.000 You can get somali one night, Mexican the other night.

00:50:41.000 They like different skin colors to hold up trays to them or say, yes, ma'am.

00:50:45.000 Yes, yes, I am your family.

00:50:47.000 Thank you so much.

00:50:48.000 Another thing they do that's really benevolent is the maid's time is up and the kids are gone and they'll keep her.

00:50:55.000 That's how much we love Consuela.

00:50:56.000 We don't need her anymore, but we keep her anyway because she needs the money and she's family to us.

00:51:01.000 Ah, you bought a family member.

00:51:03.000 You bought a fat aunt.

00:51:05.000 Congratulations.

00:51:07.000 You're so diverse.

00:51:09.000 What are you doing?

00:51:10.000 Why are you...

00:51:11.000 Look, you shut me up.

00:51:12.000 Why are you backing me?

00:51:13.000 Put yourself to use and make me some good things.

00:51:16.000 I'll do it.

00:51:18.000 What is this?

00:51:20.000 Just a rich kid being a bitch?

00:51:22.000 Yeah, it's a remade.

00:51:23.000 That's the title of that video.

00:51:25.000 Number nine, this is weird.

00:51:27.000 We have a lot of house parties, always have.

00:51:29.000 My parents always did.

00:51:30.000 And I think this was true even in the 70s.

00:51:32.000 My parents, no one else has house parties.

00:51:34.000 They'll happily come to yours.

00:51:36.000 I know what you're saying, by the way.

00:51:37.000 You're like, no, Gavin, you're not invited to the parties.

00:51:41.000 I've managed to find everyone MAGA in the suburbs.

00:51:44.000 I know 100% of them, and it's not a lot of people.

00:51:47.000 But it's so weird to go to a party on a regular basis, but then never have a party at your house, ever.

00:51:55.000 And we were having these Christmas parties.

00:51:56.000 My wife was just like, I don't want to do these anymore.

00:51:58.000 They cost like three Grand.

00:52:00.000 We would have musicians play and stuff, Christmas songs and all this shit.

00:52:06.000 And then no one else would ever have a party at their house.

00:52:11.000 You can't do that.

00:52:12.000 It's sort of like if someone dares you to eat a spider and you go, okay, I'm eating a spider, but now you're in the dare club.

00:52:18.000 And now I get to dare you to do things.

00:52:21.000 You've joined our cult.

00:52:23.000 This is from that stupid Nazi Hunter movie where the guy running the barbecue is the butcher of fucking stupid fats.

00:52:32.000 Number 10, this goes back to what we're saying about the diversity.

00:52:36.000 They cherish blacks.

00:52:38.000 The less blacks there are in a neighborhood, the more they're cherished.

00:52:40.000 And this is bizarre.

00:52:42.000 Forgive me if I'm repeating myself because I've talked about this a lot.

00:52:44.000 But there was this corrections officer, Ruben something, and he was caught fucking the female prisoners, which is rape.

00:52:53.000 They can't consent if they're in a cage, right?

00:52:56.000 He was on next door on this chat, and one of my buddies sussed out that this is the guy.

00:53:02.000 And he had a different last name on the app, and he was talking about black racism and how evil we are and slavery and MLK.

00:53:12.000 And it's a day of reckoning, and America needs to have a conversation.

00:53:15.000 And all the white housewives, all the Karens are like, so true, so true.

00:53:20.000 Thank you for your wisdom.

00:53:22.000 Meanwhile, it's black in the Bronx.

00:53:25.000 You're no more than 10 minutes away from bonafide black people.

00:53:29.000 You can go volunteer there.

00:53:30.000 No, I'd like to write a check or just put a sign on my lawn and yell, Hate has no home here.

00:53:35.000 I don't actually want to touch them.

00:53:36.000 I think they see them as like jaguars.

00:53:40.000 Like not the car, the animal.

00:53:41.000 They're these beautiful animals that I want to look at from afar, maybe even donate to a conservation fund.

00:53:47.000 I don't want to touch one though because they're very dangerous and scary.

00:53:52.000 So my buddy sussed out that this guy was raping prisoners and got fired for it.

00:53:55.000 And he accuses of it.

00:53:57.000 All the Karens are furious.

00:53:58.000 You better know what you're talking about to say that.

00:54:01.000 Ruben, can you believe he said that to you?

00:54:03.000 And he puts up a post, Extreme Ownership.

00:54:07.000 And he talks about what he's done and how he's learned from his mistakes and he's moving forward.

00:54:12.000 And they all go, that's so brave.

00:54:16.000 What?

00:54:16.000 He's a serial rapist.

00:54:18.000 No, he's not.

00:54:19.000 He was.

00:54:20.000 Now he's a reformed guy.

00:54:24.000 Dude, the delivery dude, the UPS guy, I know him.

00:54:29.000 I won't say his name, but he's from Jamaica or something.

00:54:32.000 And he's like middle class.

00:54:34.000 At UPS, you're making 80 grand a year.

00:54:35.000 He's doing fine.

00:54:36.000 But they're like, oh, the Negro's here.

00:54:39.000 On his birthday, they make balloon.

00:54:41.000 I talked about this on Anthony's show, or my show with Anthony.

00:54:44.000 They made a balloon thing for him that was like, happy birthday.

00:54:48.000 They give him presents at Christmas.

00:54:50.000 The local bar, he eats his lunch there.

00:54:52.000 He comes in with some disgusting fish food meal, turns on the microwave, reeks up the bar with Caribbean fish, and then sits down and has a Gatorade and watches TV.

00:55:03.000 Doesn't buy shit.

00:55:04.000 And they're all like, go ahead, you rock.

00:55:07.000 Now we're diverse, everyone.

00:55:09.000 Look, there's a colored man in the bar having lunch.

00:55:13.000 And that same bar, I don't go to it anymore.

00:55:15.000 They have this old black dude there.

00:55:17.000 He drinks for free.

00:55:19.000 He comes in from the Bronx.

00:55:22.000 He sits down.

00:55:23.000 I forget his name, Walker or something like that.

00:55:25.000 I have never understood a word he said.

00:55:27.000 We get along.

00:55:28.000 We're like, yeah, yeah, no, motherfucker, got it.

00:55:31.000 All bagged up.

00:55:34.000 I'm like, you sound like someone is rubbing gravel into a frog's ass.

00:55:39.000 Like, what the fuck are you saying?

00:55:40.000 I just hear grumbling and burpering and murmuring and riveting.

00:55:46.000 And he sits there drinking Hennessy all night.

00:55:51.000 He probably cost them thousands of dollars in unpaid drinks, but they have a colored person there.

00:55:58.000 So it's a bizarre world of backwardsness where they love diversity but avoid it at every cost.

00:56:06.000 They think they're tough with stares but have nothing to back it up.

00:56:10.000 They all dress and look exactly the same.

00:56:12.000 They are petrified of eugenics and practice it on a daily basis.

00:56:16.000 They're fucking weird losers and I don't recommend you check them out.

00:56:40.000 By the way, Rachel Maddow was talking about the Proud Boys and she talked about a clip that the New York Times said, oh shit, they didn't plan anything.

00:56:51.000 Of course, the New York Times can't say that.

00:56:52.000 So they went, okay, they didn't plan to do anything, but then they did something.

00:56:57.000 So Proud Boys went against the rules, which was don't do anything.

00:57:02.000 So they're still guilty.

00:57:04.000 But this is the clip.

00:57:06.000 Don't show it yet.

00:57:08.000 This is the clip of Enrique and the guys on like December 29th saying, when we go there on January 6th, don't break anything.

00:57:17.000 Don't go through any barriers.

00:57:19.000 Don't disobey the police.

00:57:20.000 We've got to be law-abiding.

00:57:23.000 Which, as far as I'm concerned, totally vindicates them.

00:57:25.000 It was a huge scoop.

00:57:26.000 Rachel Maddow doesn't watch the clip and goes, these idiots are on tape planning an insurrection.

00:57:35.000 Like, doesn't she have people to go, can I just watch it first to make sure that's what they're doing?

00:57:40.000 And they're not saying, don't do an insurrection?

00:57:44.000 So here she is gloating at the Proud Boys when the clip she's talking about vindicates them.

00:57:55.000 All right, so what time is the whole political presidential situation happening that day with Pence?

00:57:59.000 That, I don't know.

00:58:01.000 I guess we're just going to have to, I mean, a lot of the questions are coming in about D.C. You still haven't formulated a plan for D.C. yet because we've been trying to formulate the pressure.

00:58:10.000 I mean, we somewhat know.

00:58:12.000 There's a lot of detailed information I guess we got to go over.

00:58:15.000 But yes, we will have a plan for D.C. Why is there a tape of that?

00:58:21.000 Apparently, the proud...

00:58:23.000 Because they're innocent, you stupid cunt.

00:58:27.000 Our military group recorded Their video conference calls, which is the venue they chose for making their plans for Washington, D.C. on January 6th.

00:58:39.000 The plan for the whole political presidential situation happening that day with Pence.

00:58:45.000 This is the part where Stringer Bell says, Are you taking notes on a freaking criminal conspiracy?

00:58:50.000 What are you thinking?

00:58:52.000 I mean, I have no advanced knowledge as to what the January 6th investigators have gotten, what they don't.

00:58:57.000 But Alan Foyer at the New York Times reported last month that the Proud Boys paramilitary group not only recorded their video planning sessions for January 6th, it vindicates them, Rachel.

00:59:10.000 At least.

00:59:10.000 Watch the tape before you gloat.

00:59:13.000 You're gloating about evidence that exonerates the Proud Boys.

00:59:19.000 Do you come across as a bitch?

00:59:22.000 It's not even a bitch.

00:59:23.000 She's a moron.

00:59:25.000 Like, I'm very careful about gloating.

00:59:28.000 I want to make 100% sure I'm right because before I gloat, I'm very reluctant to say, haha, I told you so when I'm wrong.

00:59:35.000 Here she is being wrong.

00:59:37.000 And women are, in fact, demented.

00:59:41.000 It sort of goes back to what I was saying about how we can both look at the same thing and go, this is awesome.

00:59:47.000 I see that they were recorded saying, don't do anything wrong.

00:59:50.000 And I go, this is awesome.

00:59:51.000 She sees them being recorded.

00:59:53.000 She's so sure they're guilty.

00:59:54.000 She's like, you dummies.

00:59:55.000 You left evidence.

00:59:58.000 Seized from the phone of the group's leader by the FBI this year in 2022.

01:00:06.000 Quote, and a copy was recently obtained by The Times.

01:00:09.000 So these big brains in this pro-Trump fascist group, first of all, decided to do their organizing on video conference.

01:00:17.000 Then they made recordings of those planning sessions, which is amazing.

01:00:23.000 Then their leader guy kept them.

01:00:27.000 She could use a beard.

01:00:28.000 Like, if that was a guy, I'd be like, you need to grow a beard, dude.

01:00:31.000 Recordings for at least a year after the Capitol attack.

01:00:35.000 Yeah.

01:00:36.000 You don't think they were aware that everything they're saying is going to be public?

01:00:40.000 I think it was a show.

01:00:42.000 Wasn't it a show?

01:00:43.000 Was that War Room?

01:00:45.000 They had a show they did that was like a sit-down podcast thing.

01:00:49.000 Yeah, yeah, Warboys.

01:00:51.000 Yeah, Warboys.

01:00:52.000 That was it.

01:00:54.000 He duh, then had them seized by the FBI.

01:00:58.000 And also, they have made their way to at least one reporter who was able to publish pieces of them at the New York Times.

01:01:04.000 How'd you seize it by looking at their podcast?

01:01:07.000 How many seizes did it get?

01:01:09.000 They wanted Warboys to be uncensored.

01:01:12.000 So, like, he saved this because he wanted it out there.

01:01:15.000 You silly cunt.

01:01:18.000 I was just seizing the last Warboys.

01:01:21.000 Did you seize that?

01:01:22.000 Yeah, it's sort of like when people go.

01:01:25.000 We have footage of you putting a butt plug up your ass, Gavin.

01:01:28.000 And I'm like, I know, I put it on my show that I charge people money to see.

01:01:35.000 Yeah, but you hid it behind a paywall.

01:01:38.000 So that's...

01:01:38.000 Yeah, I got it out from the paywall.

01:01:41.000 Anyway, that was fucking funny.

01:01:42.000 She just keeps gloating and gloating and laughing.

01:01:45.000 Like I said, I don't know exactly what the January investigation has, but it's got to be a help to have guys like this right in the middle of your criminal conspiracy.

01:01:55.000 I mean, you pray in investigations of all kinds for targets like this.

01:01:59.000 Did you literally leave breadcrumbs too?

01:02:02.000 Yes.

01:02:03.000 I mean, that's why the leadership of both of these pro-Trump armed fascist groups are about to be put on trial for sedition.

01:02:09.000 Part of the way you're able to put somebody on trial for a crime that's serious is when they lay out and make records of everything they've done.

01:02:18.000 That's making me mad.

01:02:20.000 Get the fuck back in your fucking hall!

01:02:25.000 But here's a good example of both sides being so far apart that we meet again.

01:02:33.000 Like AOC says, why the fuck did the Capitol Police let those people in?

01:02:37.000 To which I respond, why the fuck did the Capitol Police let those people in?

01:02:40.000 Oh, look, I'm next to AOC.

01:02:42.000 And in this, this is a bizarre thing.

01:02:44.000 So I see when I look at this Rorschach drawing, I see a pro-trans woman get completely obliterated by logic.

01:02:53.000 When the left sees this video, they see a badass trans activist totally fuck a conservative in his asshole.

01:03:03.000 What?

01:03:05.000 Tell me which you think it is.

01:03:06.000 This is 3-0.

01:03:09.000 And then we've got to do some pet bidens.

01:03:14.000 You used a phrase.

01:03:15.000 I want to make sure I understand what you mean by it.

01:03:17.000 You've referred to people with a capacity for pregnancy.

01:03:20.000 Would that be women?

01:03:24.000 Many women, cis women, have the capacity for pregnancy.

01:03:27.000 Many cis women do not have the capacity for pregnancy.

01:03:30.000 There are also trans men who are capable of pregnancy as well as non-binary people who are capable of pregnancy.

01:03:35.000 So this isn't really a women's rights issue.

01:03:38.000 We can recognize that this impacts women while also recognizing that it impacts other groups.

01:03:43.000 Those things are not mutually exclusive, Senator Hawley.

01:03:46.000 Oh, so your view is that the core of this...

01:03:49.000 Senator Hawley.

01:03:50.000 Senator Hawley, if you say women don't exist, then all your woman issues are gone.

01:03:57.000 Sorry.

01:03:58.000 They're birthing people now.

01:04:01.000 And I would say making abortion illegal is sexist against men, men who get pregnant.

01:04:10.000 His body, his choice.

01:04:12.000 Right?

01:04:13.000 While also recognizing that it impacts other groups.

01:04:16.000 Those things are not mutually exclusive, Senator Hawley.

01:04:19.000 Oh, so your view is...

01:04:20.000 Crazy Eyes?

01:04:21.000 McGillicuddy?

01:04:23.000 Let's see it again.

01:04:24.000 Recognizing that it impacts other groups.

01:04:26.000 Those things are not mutually exclusive, Senator Hawley.

01:04:30.000 Ew, that was good.

01:04:31.000 That's Adderall.

01:04:31.000 AOC gets those.

01:04:32.000 These women who are in over their heads, and we're going to talk about Kamala Harrison in a second, they have to take drugs.

01:04:38.000 They need to take Adderall to because they're scared.

01:04:43.000 They're affirmative action.

01:04:44.000 So she's not meant to be there.

01:04:45.000 So she needs a little boost of the old amphetamine sulfate.

01:04:49.000 And that means you can see the whites on the top of their eyes.

01:04:53.000 Let's see that again.

01:04:54.000 Also recognizing that it impacts other groups.

01:04:56.000 Those things are not mutually exclusive, Senator Hawley.

01:04:59.000 Oh, so This right then is about what?

01:05:05.000 So, I want to recognize that your line of questioning is transphobic and it opens up trans people to violence by not recognizing that.

01:05:14.000 Wow, you're saying that I'm opening up people to violence by asking whether or not women are the folks who can have pregnancies?

01:05:19.000 So, I want to note that one out of five transgender persons have attempted suicide.

01:05:26.000 So, I think it's important to have a lot of people.

01:05:27.000 Because of my line of questioning?

01:05:28.000 Because we can't talk about it?

01:05:30.000 Because denying that trans people exist and pretending not to know that they exist.

01:05:35.000 I'm denying that trans people exist by asking you if you're talking about women having pregnancies.

01:05:40.000 Do you believe that men can get pregnant?

01:05:43.000 No, I don't think men can get pregnant.

01:05:44.000 So, you are denying that trans people exist.

01:05:46.000 And that leads to violence?

01:05:47.000 Is this how you run your classroom?

01:05:48.000 Are students allowed to question you or are they also treated like this?

01:05:52.000 You're told that they're opening up people to violence.

01:05:55.000 We have a good time in my class.

01:05:56.000 You should join.

01:05:57.000 My bet.

01:05:57.000 You might learn a lot.

01:05:58.000 Wow, I would learn a lot.

01:06:00.000 I've learned a lot about this exchange.

01:06:02.000 Absolutely.

01:06:02.000 Extraordinary.

01:06:04.000 Oh, my God.

01:06:05.000 These people are crazy.

01:06:06.000 Alex is back.

01:06:07.000 Gavin, did you see that clip?

01:06:08.000 You see the clip?

01:06:09.000 They tried to ask the woman if she's okay with infanticide.

01:06:12.000 I'm talking about killing babies after they're born, Gavin.

01:06:15.000 And she couldn't answer it.

01:06:16.000 And like three people, they refused to answer because they're afraid of what the liberal left are going to say to him.

01:06:21.000 Did you see that clip, Gavin?

01:06:22.000 Yeah, Alex, you got to calm down.

01:06:25.000 Let's go to My Pet Biden.

01:06:27.000 Okay.

01:06:30.000 My pet wink bonk.

01:06:32.000 So true.

01:06:35.000 My pet.

01:06:36.000 Biden.

01:06:36.000 On him I can depend.

01:06:39.000 My pet.

01:06:40.000 Biden.

01:06:41.000 A monster of a president.

01:06:43.000 He's big and booze.

01:06:44.000 Sleepy.

01:06:45.000 But a friendly monster too.

01:06:48.000 My pet.

01:06:49.000 Biden.

01:06:49.000 Wait, what?

01:06:50.000 That doesn't rhyme.

01:06:54.000 You're not going to believe this.

01:06:56.000 But he's shaking hands with the air again.

01:07:00.000 I said, I was.

01:07:02.000 We're back to screens in bed, right?

01:07:04.000 Because Thursday is no screen day.

01:07:06.000 I don't think we explored that enough yesterday.

01:07:07.000 But anyway, I'm sitting in my bed next to my wife this morning, and I go, oh no.

01:07:14.000 And she goes, what?

01:07:15.000 What is it?

01:07:16.000 We've been so terrorized that every time there's an oh no, it's like, I don't know, someone killed our dad.

01:07:22.000 Our dad?

01:07:23.000 We're brother and sister now?

01:07:25.000 We're brother and sister now, and somebody just killed our dad.

01:07:27.000 That's the bad news.

01:07:28.000 I got some bad news and some bad news.

01:07:30.000 One, we're related.

01:07:31.000 We're in an incestuous relationship.

01:07:33.000 Our children are somehow must be more handicapped than we thought.

01:07:37.000 You're my sister, and our dad is dead.

01:07:41.000 Good.

01:07:43.000 And three, we haven't met him yet.

01:07:45.000 So that's weird.

01:07:46.000 No, so I go, oh, no.

01:07:48.000 And she goes, what?

01:07:49.000 She's pretty liberal.

01:07:50.000 She's not as liberal as she was when I met her because she's been red-pilled by all these fucking assholes in the suburbs.

01:07:56.000 But she's not a big Trump person.

01:07:59.000 And I go, he shook hands with the heir again.

01:08:02.000 And she goes, oh, my God, can we just stop?

01:08:05.000 She said, who did this?

01:08:08.000 I go, America.

01:08:10.000 America should be sued by the world for elder abuse.

01:08:16.000 The DNC.

01:08:17.000 The abuse of the world by an elder?

01:08:19.000 The Democratic Party and everyone who voted for Joe Biden should be sued by the rest of the world in a class action global suit for elder abuse.

01:08:29.000 I'm not even mad at this guy.

01:08:31.000 How can you be mad at him?

01:08:33.000 I don't get mad at animals.

01:08:35.000 He's dead.

01:08:36.000 Lizzo went to an award show and she had to rent a global suit.

01:08:41.000 He doesn't exist.

01:08:43.000 He's not here.

01:08:44.000 He's not present.

01:08:45.000 He's a ghost.

01:08:46.000 If you're mad at Biden, you're mad at steam.

01:08:50.000 He's a pile of gas in a suit.

01:08:53.000 So look at him do this again.

01:08:55.000 By the way, in Lizzo's suit, there was a pile of gas also.

01:09:03.000 No, no, don't do it.

01:09:05.000 Don't do it.

01:09:06.000 Don't do it.

01:09:07.000 Great honor.

01:09:08.000 Thank you very, very much.

01:09:09.000 Thank you.

01:09:11.000 Thank you to you, and thank you to you.

01:09:14.000 O Vei.

01:09:22.000 Wait.

01:09:23.000 Did you just do gun sounds next to a shoe?

01:09:25.000 Oh, no.

01:09:25.000 That was the end of the Breitbart.

01:09:27.000 Oh.

01:09:28.000 The video is still playing?

01:09:29.000 Yeah, watch it with that.

01:09:32.000 Speaking of faux pause, this is one of my favorite ones ever.

01:09:37.000 He said we had to honor the Holocaust because it was so awesome.

01:09:43.000 Call me a raging Zionist, but I thought the Holocaust was bad.

01:09:50.000 I say two thumbs down.

01:09:51.000 I don't think we should honor it.

01:09:53.000 I thought it was bad.

01:09:54.000 Maybe that's just my radical Zionist belief system.

01:09:57.000 How could you honor something that didn't even happen, Gavin?

01:10:00.000 Come on.

01:10:01.000 That looks like on a no-fly list.

01:10:05.000 This is a pretty good fit.

01:10:07.000 I want to get on the record.

01:10:08.000 This is Ryan Catiovera.

01:10:09.000 That was a joke, not Alex Stein, saying the Holocaust and Nelson.

01:10:14.000 I will once more return to the hollow ground of Yad Veshem to honor 6 million Jewish lives who were stolen in the genocide.

01:10:25.000 Continue, which we must do every, every day, continue to bear witness.

01:10:31.000 To keep alive the truth and honor of the Holocaust.

01:10:33.000 Horror of the Holocaust.

01:10:35.000 Honor those who are.

01:10:36.000 Oh, my God.

01:10:38.000 And he's not at a dinner party.

01:10:40.000 He's in fucking Israel.

01:10:43.000 Holy shit, dude.

01:10:45.000 Could you be more retarded?

01:10:49.000 If there's one word you should watch, it's the adjective before Holocaust.

01:10:55.000 Honor.

01:10:56.000 Well, that's a verb.

01:10:59.000 What a boom.

01:11:01.000 Continue to bear witness to keep alive the truth and honor of the Holocaust.

01:11:06.000 Horror of the Holocaust.

01:11:08.000 Honor those.

01:11:09.000 Oh my God, that might have to be a drop.

01:11:12.000 And you know what's fun about that one?

01:11:13.000 It's good in bars.

01:11:15.000 Like you go, the other day he said we have to honor the Holocaust.

01:11:20.000 And the guy you're saying it to either goes, yeah.

01:11:24.000 Or they go, what?

01:11:25.000 No way.

01:11:26.000 Really?

01:11:27.000 I'm not lying.

01:11:28.000 Here's a bonus.

01:11:31.000 Wait, let me do this one.

01:11:34.000 Standing here.

01:11:35.000 Look, they think he's going to fall.

01:11:38.000 What am I doing now?

01:11:41.000 Watch this.

01:11:41.000 His knees bend, and they go, The question is: What are you doing ever?

01:11:46.000 Yeah.

01:11:46.000 This, I think they fucked up on his Adderall dosage with that one, his meth.

01:11:52.000 Because that whole trip was a fucking catastrophe.

01:11:58.000 3.9.

01:12:00.000 Parkland shooting happened in 2009, was it?

01:12:03.000 When was Parkland?

01:12:04.000 It was a year after he was vice president.

01:12:10.000 2018.

01:12:11.000 2018, Doy.

01:12:13.000 So, yeah, you weren't president, dude.

01:12:17.000 Sorry, that was Trump.

01:12:18.000 So it wasn't a year after Obama.

01:12:20.000 It was well into the Trump presidency, and he thinks he was Mike Pence.

01:12:24.000 And then he fucks it up again and says it happened in 1918.

01:12:30.000 This is beyond Mr. Magoo.

01:12:33.000 Fort Hood, Texas, 2009, 13 dead, 30 more injured.

01:12:38.000 Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, 1918, 17 dead, 17 injured.

01:12:45.000 In both places, countless others suffering with invisible wounds.

01:12:49.000 In both places, red flag laws could.

01:12:53.000 This just in, ladies and gentlemen, a shooting's occurred at the Parkland School.

01:12:57.000 You're going to want to tune in for this one terrible tragedy.

01:12:59.000 We have to honor it, of course, says Joe Biden.

01:13:03.000 It was, this guy who did it was basically a bum, Charlie.

01:13:07.000 And he's on a one-way ticket to Palocaville.

01:13:12.000 Oh, the horrors of 1918 at Parkland.

01:13:19.000 So I saw this clip of Kamala, and she's still doing this word thing.

01:13:23.000 And my theory is she loves, you have nothing to fear but fear itself.

01:13:27.000 And she wants one.

01:13:28.000 So you say, what is the future of labor in America?

01:13:33.000 And she'll go, the future is what the future has always been.

01:13:37.000 And that is the future of our country.

01:13:39.000 She wants like it to be written on the side of a mountain.

01:13:44.000 But you can't just repeat the words and think that you're saying something profound.

01:13:49.000 In fact, just try to answer the question briefly, concisely, and tangibly, and we'll be impressed.

01:13:56.000 Then you can start doing fun wordplay later on.

01:14:00.000 I think that, to be very honest with you, I do believe that we should have rightly believed, but we certainly believe that certain issues are just settled.

01:14:12.000 All signs point to good work having happened, but more work to get done.

01:14:18.000 What the hell just happened?

01:14:19.000 You know what she does too?

01:14:20.000 She takes breaks in sentences and starts a whole new thought.

01:14:24.000 So she'll have three tangents in one sentence.

01:14:26.000 Like, I think that we were, and by we, I don't mean every single one of us, though it should have been, but some people weren't there.

01:14:35.000 I think that we, you know, royal we, and being good at it, if you will.

01:14:41.000 Scared and, you know, not totally lost, but in a sense, and this happens to all of us, of course.

01:14:50.000 Scared of becoming more lost and at the same time less lost.

01:14:55.000 And that's why we were found.

01:14:58.000 Some things are just settled.

01:15:01.000 And then we have, here's a weird one.

01:15:05.000 We have Hunter in bed with his niece after her father died.

01:15:11.000 Now, I don't have a niece, but I don't see us ever sleeping in the same bed.

01:15:16.000 Maybe when she's a baby.

01:15:18.000 If I get one.

01:15:22.000 But yeah, you don't sleep with teenage girls in your family.

01:15:28.000 Ever.

01:15:29.000 Now, check out the texts.

01:15:33.000 Zoom in.

01:15:34.000 I can't read them.

01:15:37.000 Getting my nails done.

01:15:38.000 Call me.

01:15:39.000 Just want to say hello.

01:15:40.000 I miss you very much.

01:15:41.000 You call me, you brat.

01:15:43.000 Where are you?

01:15:44.000 I miss you so much.

01:15:46.000 So, so much.

01:15:48.000 Is that how uncles and nieces talk to each other?

01:15:52.000 Go to the next one.

01:15:54.000 Like, I miss you.

01:15:57.000 There's pictures of me sleeping.

01:16:00.000 Sending a funny filter.

01:16:04.000 Did you block me, baby?

01:16:06.000 Miss you.

01:16:07.000 No, no, block.

01:16:09.000 I miss you more.

01:16:11.000 What?

01:16:16.000 No answer.

01:16:16.000 I'm calling you.

01:16:17.000 Go to the bottom?

01:16:19.000 Hey, sweetheart.

01:16:22.000 This is not normal.

01:16:24.000 And let me show you my texts to my daughter.

01:16:27.000 She's 16, right?

01:16:30.000 This is how normal people talk to their immediate family.

01:16:38.000 Okay, I'm walking down the street.

01:16:39.000 Okay, I'll pick you up.

01:16:41.000 Call me when you're done work and start walking up the street.

01:16:44.000 And I'll just, and then she says, okay, I'm walking.

01:16:48.000 Can I cut that red motorcycle shirt?

01:16:50.000 A t-shirt of mine?

01:16:51.000 Yeah.

01:16:53.000 This is me picking her up at work again.

01:16:55.000 Sorry, I might be a sec.

01:16:56.000 People will not leave.

01:16:56.000 I just go, okay.

01:16:58.000 I send her a funny Instagram reel.

01:17:01.000 I send her another funny TikTok.

01:17:03.000 She sends me a picture of our bunny with a pride bandana on it.

01:17:08.000 Ask mom if she has any idea where my Budweiser toque could be.

01:17:12.000 And then it's a bunch of pictures.

01:17:13.000 I was watching TV with her, going through my photos, and I sent her all the pictures of her that were on my phone when we watched TV together.

01:17:23.000 A lot of those.

01:17:24.000 A lot of those.

01:17:25.000 I must have sent her like 20 pics, various family pics.

01:17:31.000 Do you want to do microchord lessons tomorrow?

01:17:34.000 It's all about organizing pickups and drop-offs.

01:17:38.000 And then the occasional song or the occasional picture of someone.

01:17:43.000 She sends me a picture of Travis Barker in a crass shirt.

01:17:46.000 I say he's the king of cringe.

01:17:48.000 Justin Thoreau and Angelina Jolie have worn them too.

01:17:52.000 It's a thing that stylists buy for their clients.

01:17:55.000 Like, can you pick me up for lunch?

01:17:59.000 I'm working.

01:18:00.000 Okay, let me know when you're not.

01:18:01.000 What's going on?

01:18:02.000 Never mind, it's fine.

01:18:04.000 I'll have someone else pick me up.

01:18:06.000 No, I'll interview someone else.

01:18:07.000 I had to do an interview for school.

01:18:08.000 Anyway, this is boring.

01:18:09.000 But there's no like, sweetie, miss you.

01:18:13.000 I love you so much, sweetie.

01:18:15.000 What?

01:18:16.000 Love you, so happy with you.

01:18:18.000 Where's your mom?

01:18:20.000 Home.

01:18:20.000 What?

01:18:21.000 What?

01:18:22.000 You okay, BB?

01:18:23.000 She's not home.

01:18:24.000 My daughter.

01:18:25.000 She says she loves me maybe once a year.

01:18:27.000 On Father's Day, she'll hug me.

01:18:30.000 Like, I'll go months without any hugs from the kids.

01:18:34.000 And I don't think my, I can't remember the last time any of them said, I love you, Daddy.

01:18:38.000 It's just not a thing that kids say.

01:18:40.000 This is fucking weird.

01:18:42.000 Is she home?

01:18:43.000 She is home.

01:18:44.000 Why do you think she's Nog?

01:18:45.000 Which is what both of these people can't spell.

01:18:47.000 And then why did Nog autocorrect?

01:18:49.000 Who are you calling a Nog?

01:18:50.000 Anyway.

01:18:51.000 No, so I've called her 30 times, 100 times.

01:18:54.000 Should I call her?

01:18:55.000 No, of course not.

01:18:56.000 Go to bed.

01:18:57.000 I love you.

01:18:58.000 I got a new Apple ID.

01:19:00.000 New phone?

01:19:00.000 That's weird.

01:19:01.000 I didn't send that long time ago.

01:19:03.000 Okay, here's the stripper he fucked, by the way.

01:19:06.000 And they always say he's not president.

01:19:08.000 Why are you focusing on Hunter?

01:19:09.000 Because he's the president's son, and they do deals together.

01:19:13.000 And he uses the big guy's influence to get these deals done.

01:19:18.000 They're inextrably linked.

01:19:19.000 There's a big ass Benn diagram.

01:19:24.000 Well, anyway, she's super hot.

01:19:26.000 One of the most fuckable creatures I've ever seen in my life.

01:19:30.000 And she's not that like Victoria's Secret Supermodel hot.

01:19:33.000 There's something kind of off about her, but I don't blame him.

01:19:38.000 Okay, well, I hope this one isn't gone.

01:19:42.000 This is the one where I went, oh, I get it now.

01:19:45.000 Kamala Harris is shitting herself.

01:19:47.000 She's an affirmative action hire, just like the press secretary, and she's nervous.

01:19:52.000 She's like, what the fuck?

01:19:53.000 Like, what am I doing here?

01:19:54.000 I'm in way over my head.

01:19:56.000 So when you see her making these flubs where she says dumb sentences, you're not seeing someone who's casually fucking up.

01:20:03.000 Like, she comes out of these things going, holy fuck, holy fuck, I want this to be over.

01:20:08.000 I want this to be over.

01:20:08.000 She wants this to be over so bad.

01:20:11.000 That's missing too.

01:20:12.000 She's in hell.

01:20:13.000 Oh, really?

01:20:15.000 What do I search?

01:20:16.000 Well, do 4-4.

01:20:21.000 It was just another.

01:20:23.000 Oh, no, we already did that one.

01:20:25.000 All right.

01:20:26.000 Well, it's just another.

01:20:27.000 What work is working?

01:20:28.000 Well, that's what the work is because we got to work.

01:20:31.000 But next time you watch her, don't think of it.

01:20:35.000 Well, think of it however you want.

01:20:36.000 I don't think of it as this evil, elitist woman who's destroying the country, although those are all true.

01:20:44.000 This isn't like a maleficent, some powerful supervillain that's destroying the country.

01:20:48.000 This is like you took a dog, you made it into a person, and then made them vice president.

01:20:55.000 Like this is someone who is drowning.

01:20:59.000 And I swear to God, they would do, and both Joe and her would do anything to fast forward to 2024 and have this all be over.

01:21:10.000 They are not enjoying.

01:21:11.000 Trump loved his job.

01:21:14.000 Pushing past people.

01:21:17.000 Every day was a laugh.

01:21:20.000 He treated it like a business, and it became a very successful business.

01:21:24.000 And when you're an entrepreneur and you're running a very successful business, believe me, you feel great.

01:21:30.000 It's fun to go to work.

01:21:32.000 We should cleanse the palate with Biden with a Trump clip.

01:21:37.000 Okay, let's wash Biden and Kamala off our brain lips.

01:21:41.000 Do you really think this is the right thing for us to be doing, Ivana?

01:21:44.000 What do people think?

01:21:46.000 Let them talk.

01:21:48.000 Ivana, Ivana, Vana.

01:21:50.000 It's wrong, isn't it?

01:21:51.000 But it feels so right.

01:21:54.000 Then it's a deal?

01:21:55.000 Yes, we eat our pizza the wrong way.

01:21:57.000 Crust first.

01:21:58.000 Introduce the self-crest pizza from pizza.

01:22:00.000 With a ring of cheese baked into a totally new, thinner crust, you'll want to eat it the wrong way.

01:22:04.000 Crust first.

01:22:05.000 Did I have the last slice?

01:22:06.000 Actually, you're only entitled to half.

01:22:09.000 Large is $9.99.

01:22:10.000 What?

01:22:11.000 Were they already divorced at that point?

01:22:13.000 I don't know.

01:22:15.000 Probably just foreshadowing.

01:22:16.000 Was that foreshadowing?

01:22:18.000 Damn.

01:22:20.000 I don't know, man.

01:22:21.000 I feel like a Russian accent would get on my nerves.

01:22:24.000 Yeah.

01:22:26.000 I think there's very few accents that wouldn't bother me in a marriage.

01:22:31.000 Like, I could handle English, British, English.

01:22:34.000 I don't know if I could handle Scottish, to be totally honest.

01:22:38.000 But Russian, Eastern European, Israeli, German.

01:22:45.000 There's a weird thing.

01:22:46.000 Australian I don't even know if I can handle.

01:22:48.000 There's a weird thing for me, like, as well as not being attracted to Asians, too.

01:22:51.000 If there's like a fiercely hot looking woman, but she has like a Russian or Eastern European accent, it like washes it away for me.

01:22:59.000 Yeah.

01:23:00.000 It like doesn't count.

01:23:01.000 Well, I feel I have another bias.

01:23:03.000 When I see a rich person like at Rolex or buying a Gucci or something, and they have an accent, I think you didn't earn your money.

01:23:12.000 You're part of some corrupt system in like Uzbekistan where your father opened a gold mine and millions of kids have died in it over the years and you just get the money.

01:23:23.000 Damn.

01:23:24.000 I'm usually right, right?

01:23:26.000 Non-Western country and they're rich.

01:23:27.000 There's something wrong with them.

01:23:29.000 Ooh, that one on the left is a smoker.

01:23:32.000 Hope he's not 13.

01:23:39.000 Lyzum.

01:23:41.000 Yeah, the other problem.

01:23:41.000 I think another reason it turns me off is like, I can't, I won't be able to joke about the fawns.

01:23:46.000 Yeah, the jokes is a big one.

01:23:48.000 Yeah.

01:23:48.000 When I worked at my old job, it was nobody spoke English and it was kind of disheartening.

01:23:52.000 I was like, no jokes, huh?

01:23:54.000 Fuck.

01:23:54.000 You know what you have to do in Quebec, too?

01:23:56.000 You have to say your quips on the street in two languages.

01:24:00.000 Oh.

01:24:00.000 That sucks.

01:24:01.000 That relates timing.

01:24:02.000 I'm too old for this shit.

01:24:04.000 Jétro Vieupo said merde.

01:24:08.000 That sucks.

01:24:08.000 It kills the delivery.

01:24:10.000 It's terrible.

01:24:11.000 Let's go to the mailbag.

01:24:13.000 Oh.

01:24:15.000 Right.

01:24:19.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a damn.

01:24:24.000 Let's turn our eyes together's mailbag.

01:24:29.000 Let me touch it.

01:24:32.000 Our first letter is a terrible submission for the Cognitive Dissidence Tour.

01:24:37.000 That'll be a no for you.

01:24:40.000 These are pinned, right?

01:24:41.000 Yep.

01:24:43.000 Purple flag.

01:24:44.000 It's called Cognitive Dissidence Content Submission.

01:24:47.000 Oh, I'm sorry.

01:24:49.000 I had the word cognitive grabbed.

01:24:54.000 Dinosaurs or dragons is this one.

01:24:58.000 It's amazing how many baby monsters are fucking crazy.

01:25:04.000 I would say about half baby monsters believe in flat earth, don't believe in dinosaurs, and think tons and tons of major events, shootings, didn't happen at all, and they were just actors.

01:25:18.000 Okay.

01:25:19.000 I might not have evidence to believe in flat earth, but I definitely have enough distrust to disbelieve anything I've heard.

01:25:26.000 The word dinosaur has been around since 1842, when British paleontologist Richard Owen coined it.

01:25:32.000 Okay?

01:25:33.000 The word dragon has been around since the 13th century, which meant huge reptile, huge serpent, and sea monster.

01:25:40.000 All right?

01:25:40.000 In the 12th century, English language, the word for the same, what?

01:25:45.000 In the 12th century English language, comma, right?

01:25:49.000 You got to put a comma there.

01:25:51.000 The word for the same was drake.

01:25:54.000 They all come from the Latin word draconim and the Greek dracontos.

01:25:59.000 Dragon is currently used in the King James 1611 Holy Bible translation of the Hebrew words tannin, sea monster, and tan, huge land mammal.

01:26:08.000 Dragon is commonly used in the Bible as a generic description of huge beasts.

01:26:13.000 Also correctly used in the King James is the word unicorn.

01:26:16.000 The obvious thing here is one horn.

01:26:18.000 It comes from the Latin word unicornus.

01:26:21.000 Okay, where are we going with this?

01:26:23.000 It was from what a wild ox was called in ancient times.

01:26:26.000 It is used to translate the Hebrew word rheum, which describes a wild ox and has been ascribed to rhinoceros.

01:26:33.000 The Greek uses monokeros to describe rheum.

01:26:36.000 The modern unicorn looks nothing like Pliny's description or the drawings.

01:26:41.000 What are you talking about, sir?

01:26:43.000 Am I dumb?

01:26:44.000 All of which is to say the words have been used to describe real creatures and have been used to describe mythical creatures made up by storytellers.

01:26:52.000 Same things are done today.

01:26:54.000 I don't know what you're talking about, sir.

01:26:56.000 Maybe someone smarter than me can understand.

01:26:58.000 I don't know.

01:26:59.000 I can't even tell if he's trying to prove that dinosaurs exist or didn't exist.

01:27:03.000 I must be thick as shit.

01:27:06.000 How did the Ching Chunks have the dragons in the yellow?

01:27:09.000 That's a hard one to fucking...

01:27:11.000 No, it's not.

01:27:13.000 Everyone had snakes.

01:27:15.000 They're a repulsive creature that is the opposite of us.

01:27:19.000 It's the opposite of a cute little newborn black bear.

01:27:22.000 So you take that snake and you keep monstering it up.

01:27:26.000 But why not insects or anything?

01:27:27.000 Why do they all land on this?

01:27:29.000 There's plenty of insect shit going on with that.

01:27:31.000 Look at the wings.

01:27:33.000 It's all the gross stuff combined.

01:27:37.000 Bats.

01:27:40.000 Another one points to religion in the Bible.

01:27:42.000 Demons, the devil.

01:27:44.000 Okay.

01:27:45.000 Let's cleanse the palate.

01:27:48.000 No symbos, but his BS powers are off the charts.

01:27:51.000 So this is footage of Terrence Howard in Uganda.

01:27:55.000 That's the place where it's a capital offense to be gay.

01:27:58.000 You're murdered.

01:27:59.000 So why did he go there?

01:28:01.000 Yeah.

01:28:02.000 Did he change his voice up a little bit though?

01:28:04.000 I was born Terrence Deshaun Howard.

01:28:06.000 Great.

01:28:06.000 I've become an actor.

01:28:07.000 You know, I've been nominated for Oscars and Golden Globes and the Space Stag Awards.

01:28:13.000 But those were the awards.

01:28:14.000 I've been nominated for Golden Globes.

01:28:16.000 As a child, I studied chemical engineering at Pratt Institute.

01:28:20.000 Chemical.

01:28:20.000 I was there for two years until I saw that there was an inconsistency.

01:28:24.000 Why don't you invite Justin?

01:28:25.000 You know why you were there for two years?

01:28:27.000 Because you were affirmative actioned into that school on some bullshit scholarship, and you were in over your head, and you had to drop out because you were failing.

01:28:35.000 But his version of events is.

01:28:40.000 And so I went out to explore a new way of understanding how the universe worked, and I was able to define the grand unified field equation they've been looking for and put it into geometry.

01:28:52.000 And then with that, the grand unified field equation.

01:28:55.000 Imagine understanding any of this.

01:28:58.000 The unified field is...

01:29:00.000 Isn't that the string theory and also relativity or some shit?

01:29:05.000 The grand unified theory.

01:29:07.000 An even more ambitious theory...

01:29:09.000 Wait, what does it say here?

01:29:10.000 An even more ambitious theory that includes all fundamental forces, including gravitation, is termed a theory of everything.

01:29:16.000 Some common mainstream GOT models are minimal left, right model.

01:29:20.000 I think what he did, he did math, and he stayed up for like three weeks, and he poured over all of this shit on Wikipedia, and he thought he was understanding it because he was so fucking high.

01:29:34.000 And now he still does a fair amount of math, but he's brainwashed himself into believing that he understands astrophysics and electroweak force.

01:29:45.000 And if the electromagnetic and weak forces unify to make the electroweak force, maybe even at even higher energies, something even greater happens.

01:29:56.000 This is the geometry of hydrogen.

01:30:00.000 Of hydrogen.

01:30:01.000 Hydrogen.

01:30:02.000 This is the proton itself.

01:30:05.000 So any bond that hydrogen can make, our linchpins are able to make.

01:30:11.000 So we're talking about unlimited bonding, unlimited predictable structure, supersymmetry.

01:30:18.000 You're unpredictable.

01:30:19.000 Oh!

01:30:26.000 What the hell are you talking?

01:30:30.000 He just turns into the parents and peanuts.

01:30:33.000 And by the way, 100% of the people in the audience are completely confused right now.

01:30:39.000 There's not one person going...

01:30:42.000 Okay, now to the Q ⁇ A.

01:30:44.000 First question.

01:30:45.000 Yeah.

01:30:46.000 Oops, that's not a good question.

01:30:49.000 Well, that would be awesome if there was any questions.

01:30:51.000 Yes.

01:30:51.000 Remember that footage in South Africa of these black students saying that physics was racist because it ignored the local shamans and voodoo and the science of their culture.

01:31:04.000 And then this white girl gets up and she goes, What gives you the rat?

01:31:08.000 No, she goes, But you can't be talking about things like a shaman that can strike down someone with lightning the next day because they did some sort of magic thing that doesn't exist.

01:31:22.000 And then they all scream hysterically, laughing at her for not believing that you can have someone struck down by lightning.

01:31:34.000 What?

01:31:35.000 You've got that clip?

01:31:39.000 While you find it, I'll read this one.

01:31:45.000 You should check out this political cartoonist named Bob Moran.

01:31:48.000 Moran?

01:31:49.000 He nails it every time.

01:31:51.000 Here's a link to his Instagram.

01:31:53.000 Damn, he good.

01:31:56.000 What a great artist.

01:31:59.000 Very British.

01:32:11.000 Huh.

01:32:12.000 Thanks for that.

01:32:12.000 That's a fun follow.

01:32:15.000 Like the Hunter Biden one?

01:32:17.000 Nude getting blown, smoking crack.

01:32:19.000 Oh, no, sorry, doing lines.

01:32:22.000 Hunter doesn't do Coke.

01:32:23.000 That would be more normal.

01:32:24.000 He smokes crack.

01:32:29.000 Gavin, you were right to be suspicious about this story of a 10-year-old needing to cross state lines to get an abortion.

01:32:34.000 New York Post just ran a story where the mother of the girl claims that her daughter's attacker was actually listed as a minor in the report, and that's why no red flags were set off for anyone.

01:32:42.000 I'm sorry, but doesn't any doctor seeing a 10-year-old girl pregnant immediately report that?

01:32:46.000 Don't they require the male to be known and confirmed?

01:32:49.000 So now we have a third possibility that they were so worried about being called racist or giving illegals a bad name that they changed the age from 27 to 17 so it wouldn't have to be reported.

01:33:02.000 Which is, by the way, I forgot to cover this.

01:33:07.000 Finally, we always knew this to be true, but finally, Tommy Robinson has been vindicated.

01:33:16.000 Where is that now?

01:33:18.000 Don't worry, I'm going to find it.

01:33:19.000 War on.

01:33:20.000 I got it.

01:33:20.000 35.

01:33:22.000 Is it 35?

01:33:23.000 Yes.

01:33:26.000 Everyone's sending me this, going, holy shit, Tommy was right.

01:33:30.000 An inquiry has reaffirmed findings that police schools and social services reportedly refused to address the sexual abuse of more than 1,000 children in Telford, England, by a Muslim South Asian man, Pakistanis, Pakis, due to fears that it could inflame racial tensions.

01:33:44.000 Hundreds of girls sexually abused in Telford.

01:33:46.000 And he focused on Telford, too.

01:33:48.000 Yep, I remember that.

01:33:50.000 So, I don't know why everyone's sending me this.

01:33:53.000 Is the sky blue, too?

01:33:55.000 We've been talking about this for years.

01:33:59.000 Literally years and years and years.

01:34:01.000 In fact, this goes back to TGMS, the Gavin McInnes show.

01:34:05.000 We've been talking about this.

01:34:06.000 My Rebel days, Tommy and I talked about this.

01:34:10.000 And the mainstream has finally caught up with us and said, okay, we got it.

01:34:21.000 Oh, here's a weird one.

01:34:22.000 We'll end with this one.

01:34:23.000 Hey, Gavin, Mooney here.

01:34:26.000 What?

01:34:28.000 I've been listening to you since TJMS days.

01:34:30.000 I heard you bring up the Moonies.

01:34:32.000 Just want to say whatever you think you know is fake news.

01:34:34.000 I grew up in the church.

01:34:36.000 We are used to misconceptions.

01:34:38.000 My parents were matched by Reverend Moon, and they had five half-Jap white children.

01:34:43.000 You said we don't believe in love, and that's not true.

01:34:46.000 My parents didn't know each other, but they learned to love each other because they both had their love for God.

01:34:51.000 Reverend Moon believed that matching and marrying different cultures and races would help unite the world and create peace, and that you can learn to love anyone.

01:34:57.000 My parents, well, you can learn to love a hot Japanese chick.

01:35:02.000 What if you get paired up with a dog?

01:35:04.000 My parents and all the first generation basically took one for the team going through all they did as things are very different now.

01:35:10.000 I did not have to marry a complete stranger.

01:35:11.000 I was introduced to my now husband at 21.

01:35:15.000 He was a Mooney from Montreal, and we went through six months courting before we decided to get married.

01:35:21.000 We did attend a mass wedding in Korea.

01:35:23.000 We call the mass wedding the blessing, which is a commitment ceremony meant to invite God into our marriage.

01:35:29.000 Say a few vows, watch some performances, and that's it.

01:35:32.000 My husband and I have been married six years now with a two-year-old and planning for more soon.

01:35:36.000 The allegation that Reverend Moon gets to sleep with all the members and there's a lot of weird sex shit going on is hugely false, and I'm not sure where it came from.

01:35:45.000 Maybe you're going to think I'm just a brainwashed cult member, but I'm not even the most perfect Mooney.

01:35:50.000 I had my rebellious teenager days, my party days, and to be honest, I'm not that involved beside going from church once in a while.

01:35:55.000 But I still believe and appreciate the values it instilled in me to get married and create a family.

01:36:00.000 Of course we have disgruntled members.

01:36:01.000 Good people, bad people, plenty of other things to criticize.

01:36:04.000 All this to say, we're not the scary cult.

01:36:07.000 Honestly, we're pretty boring, and we lost a lot of the second generation to the left anyways.

01:36:11.000 So, if anything, I feel like we're on the same side.

01:36:14.000 Meaning, us and her.

01:36:16.000 That's all I'm going to say.

01:36:17.000 I like you more than a friend.

01:36:18.000 P.S. I know my grammar's terrible.

01:36:20.000 Don't kill me.

01:36:21.000 I'm just a stupid housewife.

01:36:22.000 I added stupid.

01:36:23.000 She sent a picture of herself.

01:36:26.000 Very attractive.

01:36:30.000 Did you see the Rod of Iron church?

01:36:35.000 It is a Mooney spin-off church, I believe.

01:36:39.000 It is, yeah.

01:36:40.000 I mean, the only one that I could really find is Vice covering it, but it's kind of badass.

01:36:44.000 They want a MAGA.

01:36:45.000 They want to make America great again, and they're Moonies.

01:36:49.000 And there's a really intense leader guy who's like, we've got a fucking lot of guns.

01:36:55.000 Oh, I remember these guys.

01:36:57.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:36:58.000 The thing I like about them is the left hates them.

01:37:01.000 Yeah.

01:37:01.000 They call it a gun cult.

01:37:03.000 Maybe she's right that they're on our side.

01:37:05.000 Who knows?

01:37:06.000 Maybe that was a commie.

01:37:07.000 Maybe we should become Moonies.

01:37:09.000 I'm becoming a Moonie.

01:37:11.000 I think it's more in this church.

01:37:16.000 By Catholicism.

01:37:17.000 I'm a gun Moonie now.

01:37:20.000 A Goonie.

01:37:21.000 Does he have an accent?

01:37:23.000 I don't like leaders with accents.

01:37:24.000 I think the first step is you have to...

01:37:26.000 I don't like when I go to church and it's some African dude going, Jesus Is coming to us from Er Direction.

01:37:34.000 I'm like, the Bible's boring enough.

01:37:36.000 I need it without an accent, and I need you to be didactic.

01:37:40.000 Yeah, I can't agree with the first part of that.

01:37:42.000 But yeah, we have a preacher, a priest who came in, and he's from, I think it's, no, Ghana, not Uganda, Ghana.

01:37:51.000 And yeah, dude, he kept like repeating the same thing.

01:37:54.000 I swear, I turned to my wife.

01:37:55.000 I was like, did he just repeat that?

01:37:56.000 He's like, so when Jesus says, my neighbor, does that mean that what means to be a neighbor?

01:38:05.000 What does mean to be a neighbor means to be?

01:38:08.000 What is mean?

01:38:09.000 And dude, he had to read the whole thing, I believe, in one whole, you know, that whole thing.

01:38:13.000 He had to read it.

01:38:14.000 He had a piece of paper.

01:38:16.000 I know there's a guy who comes to your church sometimes.

01:38:19.000 He's got black hair.

01:38:20.000 He's like 60?

01:38:22.000 No.

01:38:24.000 How do you find you described a black guy like that?

01:38:26.000 He's got very, very, very curly black hair.

01:38:29.000 Short, very short.

01:38:30.000 He's got big lips.

01:38:31.000 His nostrils are somewhat wider than other people's.

01:38:34.000 He's got these extra twitch muscles.

01:38:37.000 He runs very fast, and he's prone to sickle cell anemia.

01:38:42.000 What else?

01:38:43.000 Is it a black guy?

01:38:45.000 Oh, yeah.

01:38:45.000 He's dark brown.

01:38:48.000 But there's this guy who looks kind of Fonzarelli-ish, like a Henry Winkler, and he's fucking amazing.

01:38:56.000 And he's the guy who said, you know, when I was teaching at Catholic school, my job was to catch people doing bad.

01:39:04.000 And that's not interesting to me.

01:39:06.000 I'd rather catch people doing good.

01:39:08.000 Wow.

01:39:09.000 And that's harder to find.

01:39:10.000 And it's more important to encourage people when they're doing good than to punish them for being bad.

01:39:15.000 That's great.

01:39:17.000 That's what a fucking priest should do.

01:39:18.000 Yeah, that's a solid homily.

01:39:20.000 Blow your mind.

01:39:21.000 His homily was literally just written down.

01:39:23.000 It sounded like he was reading more just direct scripture.

01:39:26.000 Why should it be different than TV or anything else?

01:39:29.000 If you're up there, your job is to like excite people, incite, you know, inspire them.

01:39:38.000 Great one for Father's Day they did.

01:39:40.000 Great one for Mother's Day, too.

01:39:42.000 It was just like really, really good stuff.

01:39:44.000 Your church?

01:39:44.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:39:45.000 But it was the...

01:39:46.000 It wasn't the Ghana guy.

01:39:47.000 No, no, no.

01:39:48.000 This guy, I can't get behind either.

01:39:50.000 Joseph Prince.

01:39:50.000 He's like, when you think about the Lord.

01:39:52.000 The first thing of sin is still there.

01:39:54.000 You can still sin if you want.

01:39:55.000 Right now.

01:39:56.000 Amen.

01:39:56.000 I pray you don't, but you still can.

01:39:59.000 So never, never think that you are beyond sin.

01:40:00.000 Can I have a chance?

01:40:01.000 He recently just got.

01:40:02.000 He has a beautiful aunt's hair.

01:40:05.000 I would always make fun of him to my grandma.

01:40:07.000 My grandmother was like, that's heresy.

01:40:09.000 She's like, no, don't make fun of him.

01:40:10.000 He's a God guy.

01:40:11.000 I was like, he's a fucking guy.

01:40:13.000 All right.

01:40:13.000 He's probably swindling you.

01:40:15.000 Final video.

01:40:16.000 Oh, yes, of course.

01:40:34.000 I thought you might want to know how lipstick is made.

01:40:38.000 So it's just a fun little video.

01:40:40.000 If you can do this at home, you want to save money on lipstick.

01:40:44.000 It's very expensive, especially some of this Sephora shit.

01:40:48.000 So for our female viewers, try this at home.

01:40:54.000 So first you get a bunch of syringes, right?

01:40:58.000 What are you doing?

01:41:01.000 Okay.

01:41:02.000 You get a bunch of syringes and you got to boil them, okay?

01:41:06.000 Because they've been into people's skin, they have AIDS, stuff like that.

01:41:10.000 Scoop those out.

01:41:11.000 You don't need a very big pot.

01:41:15.000 Then you cut off the needle parts and you just have the pusher part.

01:41:19.000 Then you take cacti, right?

01:41:21.000 And you divide them into various leaves.

01:41:25.000 Then you take a matchbox and you pin it to the bottom of the cactus leaf.

01:41:31.000 I mean, a lot of people already know this, but this is for amateurs.

01:41:36.000 Take those aside and you want to hang those up on a string, okay?

01:41:42.000 This is going to take a while.

01:41:44.000 You put in some sort of thing.

01:41:48.000 We'll get back to you on what that is.

01:41:49.000 Some sort of phosphorus powder.

01:41:52.000 And then you let it sit for two days.

01:41:56.000 And it'll crystallize on the cactus leaves.

01:42:00.000 Now you take that aside and you scrape that off with a paintbrush into a small bowl.

01:42:06.000 Make sure you get every drop.

01:42:07.000 Then you take that and you cook it until it's a burnt powder.

01:42:13.000 Then you take a mortar and pistol and you grind that up and it'll be a red powder.

01:42:17.000 Basically there now.

01:42:18.000 So then you stir that with water and you pour it over a piece of wood and then you put it back in a bowl and then you boil it until it's like jam, like wax.

01:42:29.000 Then you pour that on a piece of paper, you get some tomato soup and you pour the wax into the soup.

01:42:34.000 You stir that up, then you pour it into the syringes that don't have the pin part on them anymore, the needle, and we're done.

01:42:42.000 Let it dry, boom.

01:42:44.000 Simple.

01:42:46.000 Have a fun weekend, guys.

01:42:48.000 Get fired.

01:42:48.000 Get in trouble.

01:42:49.000 Be brave.

01:42:53.000 And never stop fighting.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - July 15, 2022

S4E142 - BIG JUICY BOOTY

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