Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S4E150 - CRYING IN COURT

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness Cause my news makes me happier and makes my life easier I'm so sick of myself No need a fucking bunch of money I don't need God I

00:00:44.000 will go my way I've never friend to walk alone My lord just holds never know I can feel it in my bones This my life fuck them all Even if I'm in nowhere Even if I that was Yashi 2.0 Walk alone this my life and fuck them all I Don't know anything

00:01:14.000 about that fucking weirdo. 0.53

00:01:15.000 What was that?

00:01:18.000 Oh shit.

00:01:19.000 I forgot to bring the New York Post and I forgot my computer a lot of forgetting here But let's just get right into it.

00:01:27.000 We're supposed to be celebrating that we got Ayman Alzawahari Look any terrorist any dead terrorist is a good terrorist to me And I hate to poo-poo the current administration They already have they already eat the poo-poo but what was it 20 years you've been waiting to kill this guy?

00:01:45.000 He did 9-11?

00:01:47.000 Okay, you pushed a button.

00:01:49.000 Could you have pushed a button a little earlier, perchance?

00:01:53.000 Sorry.

00:01:54.000 So that's all over the front pages, but we don't care about that, per se.

00:01:59.000 That guy's dead.

00:02:01.000 It was kind of a cool missile we sent at him.

00:02:03.000 It was like a spinning, looked like a car engine with these blades that just chop him up.

00:02:08.000 I mean, we get this with every administration, right?

00:02:11.000 Osama had bin Laden. 0.61

00:02:12.000 That was a good one.

00:02:14.000 And then Trump had that other guy, Bagashaghi, whatever, where we identified him by his ring.

00:02:20.000 El Baghdadi.

00:02:21.000 That was great.

00:02:22.000 Okay.

00:02:23.000 I don't know.

00:02:24.000 If you could do this with a video game, couldn't we just get them all at once?

00:02:28.000 Actually, why don't we just take the entire Middle East and sink it into the sea? 1.00

00:02:33.000 We'll leave Israel. 0.88

00:02:34.000 We'll leave any Christian countries we can find. 1.00

00:02:36.000 We'll have some oil thingamedoodles.

00:02:39.000 But that place is just.

00:02:42.000 It's fucking Losersville.

00:02:43.000 I was just on crazy shit.com watching people fight with machetes and stuff.

00:02:47.000 And I'm looking at these third world countries and I'm like, I don't care. 1.00

00:02:51.000 I mean, if I see a trucker with a machete in Illinois or Indiana fighting with a guy, I go, oh no, what's happening to this country?

00:03:01.000 We got plenty of that shit going on here.

00:03:04.000 But when it's in a third world country, you're like, I don't know.

00:03:08.000 Do they even have a hospital?

00:03:09.000 I don't give a damn.

00:03:11.000 I really don't give a damn.

00:03:13.000 This is what I give a damn about.

00:03:14.000 Go to 15.

00:03:15.000 This is what's going on in our community here in the Bronx.

00:03:19.000 This is about a seven-minute walk from the studio.

00:03:37.000 So they're trying to arrest a perp, and the entire community is trying to prevent it.

00:03:44.000 So then they throw a guy down.

00:03:49.000 And then he's got to get arrested.

00:04:06.000 You know, it's funny I was just making fun of the third world. 1.00

00:04:08.000 This is...

00:04:09.000 What country?

00:04:10.000 This is like Guatemala.

00:04:12.000 This is Colombia.

00:04:14.000 Look at this.

00:04:14.000 Squaring off with cops.

00:04:16.000 So then you got to arrest that guy.

00:04:19.000 Your numbers are dwindling here as you need to arrest more and more. 0.96

00:04:23.000 And there's zero fear.

00:04:24.000 They're just walking by them, yelling.

00:04:26.000 And then they're throwing glass bottles.

00:04:30.000 I forget what that's called in the local slang.

00:04:32.000 The tweet says it.

00:04:34.000 It's like throwing bombs, yo.

00:04:37.000 Airmail.

00:04:38.000 Airmail.

00:04:39.000 Sending airmail.

00:04:40.000 There we go.

00:04:45.000 We need the National Guard at this point.

00:04:49.000 Right?

00:04:51.000 We don't have enough cops to deal with that shit. 1.00

00:04:54.000 If we did, I would have Ethan Klein arrested for stealing his designs.

00:04:58.000 Did you see this going on, Ryan?

00:05:00.000 I did.

00:05:00.000 Heavy news.

00:05:02.000 So Ethan Klein has a clothing label called Teddy some shit.

00:05:08.000 Teddy Fresh.

00:05:09.000 Have you ever worn any Teddy Fresh?

00:05:11.000 Hell no.

00:05:12.000 And he's this fucking guy.

00:05:15.000 It's like 80s cutesy stuff.

00:05:18.000 But I think he just went to a second-hand clothing store and just bought, copied everything.

00:05:25.000 There's an Etsy pattern they copied.

00:05:27.000 I mean, if you zoom in here, this isn't similar to, this isn't inspired by.

00:05:33.000 This is the only one where there's any kind of controversy.

00:05:36.000 You know what I mean?

00:05:37.000 I'm open to discussing this.

00:05:39.000 They did rotate the image of the bear.

00:05:43.000 No, I'm not kidding.

00:05:45.000 I think in court, this wouldn't stand up with that bear.

00:05:49.000 The other ones, they have a good point.

00:05:51.000 But I think that bear, they could argue it was collage and it was a reinterpretation.

00:05:57.000 It's just a reinterpretation.

00:05:58.000 Right, difficult reinterpretation.

00:06:00.000 My clients trying to make clothes for pedophiles.

00:06:03.000 And this country's trying to squeeze them out of the business. 0.91

00:06:09.000 Also in the stupid news, mom life.

00:06:12.000 I sent this to you as a separate file.

00:06:15.000 This was fun to watch.

00:06:16.000 I got wasted after yesterday's show because my daughter's music teacher came by and I forgot she wasn't in town.

00:06:24.000 And when the con le chati les surie dans, so when the cat's away, they might as well play. 0.98

00:06:29.000 So I just started fucking pounding him right after work.

00:06:32.000 Got home, hung out with him.

00:06:35.000 He took the microcord equipment he'd loaned us.

00:06:38.000 Passed out at 6.30 p.m.

00:06:41.000 And then woke up at 11.30 p.m., ready to face the day.

00:06:45.000 Isn't that the worst?

00:06:47.000 I gave myself jet lag.

00:06:50.000 And then it was just lying in bed, looking at the phone, not getting out of bed really, until 11 or 9.47 a.m. this morning.

00:07:01.000 Pathetic.

00:07:02.000 Absolutely pathetic.

00:07:05.000 And you go, I could take a sleeping pill, or I could get up and watch a movie, but you kind of don't want to do that because you want to punish yourself for fucking up.

00:07:14.000 You got to pay the Piper.

00:07:16.000 You know?

00:07:18.000 Like, I remember I was in Vegas once after WestFest, and I was so hungover, it made AIDS look like a day in the park. 0.94

00:07:26.000 And I saw there was all these things.

00:07:27.000 It was pretty cheap.

00:07:28.000 I think it was like 50 bucks for a IV drip.

00:07:32.000 And you're back.

00:07:34.000 And I think you get oxygen too.

00:07:36.000 It's like a super hangover cure tank.

00:07:38.000 And I was like, no, I didn't go.

00:07:42.000 Because I have to pay the Piper.

00:07:44.000 You're disciplining yourself.

00:07:46.000 You're grounding yourself.

00:07:47.000 I was grounded last night.

00:07:48.000 Anyway, while I'm grounded, I saw this funny meme of this chick, Mom Life Comics.

00:07:55.000 Okay, this is her reaction to this backlash she got when she criticized her husband.

00:08:03.000 And the thing I love about this drawing is she clearly can't draw. 0.84

00:08:08.000 She's a graphic designer, which is just pulling in other people's drawings and putting a couple letters on them.

00:08:16.000 And the picture at the bottom is likely a tracing.

00:08:20.000 But the other pictures are how she draws when she's left on her own.

00:08:23.000 And no one took this angle, but it's kind of my angle.

00:08:25.000 I fucking hate cartoonists who can't draw.

00:08:28.000 Choose another medium.

00:08:30.000 Anyway, you're seeing the end at the beginning here.

00:08:33.000 But if you scroll down, I think we've got her stuff here.

00:08:39.000 So here, let's see the comic.

00:08:41.000 Things children are sure to ruin.

00:08:43.000 The reason I like this is because it shows you how fucking spoiled the average American woman is. 1.00

00:08:50.000 And how you give them a sweet gig like housewife and they're still complaining.

00:08:59.000 Children ruin vacations?

00:09:00.000 Fuck you.

00:09:01.000 They ruin white couches.

00:09:02.000 What kind of idiot has an expensive white couch when they have kids? 1.00

00:09:07.000 Anything about which you say this will be fun?

00:09:10.000 Well, they're negative at first.

00:09:13.000 They're big on no at the beginning because genetically they need to stay alive.

00:09:19.000 So the same way they're picky with food and they only eat white bread because they don't want to eat some poison that their bodies can't handle, they're always like, no, I don't want to try that.

00:09:27.000 Then they try it and they love it.

00:09:28.000 Their parents' bodies, oh, your back sore, poor thing.

00:09:31.000 Good night's sleep.

00:09:32.000 She keeps bitching about this. 1.00

00:09:34.000 Let's look at another one, though.

00:09:36.000 Keep going.

00:09:39.000 Yeah, my husband napping on the couch.

00:09:43.000 Me trying to relax for just one freaking minute on the couch.

00:09:47.000 Like these two adorable children are always all over her because they worship the ground she walks on.

00:09:52.000 You're welcome.

00:09:53.000 And by the way, she just takes a picture of her husband on the couch or her with the kids and then traces it on her tablet and then writes on it.

00:10:03.000 This is a weird one.

00:10:06.000 Appearance-based injustices of motherhood.

00:10:09.000 My child has beautiful, rich eyelashes.

00:10:11.000 I don't.

00:10:13.000 My child has natural color and textured hair.

00:10:15.000 I've got scraggly hair.

00:10:17.000 My daughter has smooth skin.

00:10:18.000 I got wrinkles.

00:10:19.000 Yeah, you're old.

00:10:22.000 She's in her late 40s, I believe.

00:10:24.000 And she's noticed that her children are more youthful than her.

00:10:30.000 Her husband, a lot of stuff about her being the preferred parent.

00:10:35.000 So her husband gets to sit around and look at his phone and check his, and have a coffee while she, it takes her forever to get to her coffee. 1.00

00:10:45.000 Keep going?

00:10:47.000 To the right?

00:10:50.000 Look, wouldn't it be horrible if your little kid wants to play with you while you go pee?

00:10:56.000 What a nightmare.

00:10:59.000 Her husband gets to do push-ups, whereas the kids jump on her. 0.96

00:11:03.000 What a nightmare.

00:11:05.000 You're the favorite parent.

00:11:06.000 The kids love you more.

00:11:07.000 You're constantly getting hugged and loved.

00:11:09.000 I'm sorry.

00:11:15.000 Okay, so this is the biggie.

00:11:17.000 This is really what started it all.

00:11:18.000 Bringing groceries from the car.

00:11:20.000 My husband, me.

00:11:21.000 I don't believe you.

00:11:22.000 I don't believe you at all.

00:11:24.000 It's not a thing husbands do.

00:11:26.000 No, guys like to carry the most things.

00:11:28.000 It's a challenge.

00:11:29.000 You try to carry things till the bags start to tear.

00:11:32.000 You want to open the door with your foot?

00:11:34.000 Yeah.

00:11:34.000 I got it.

00:11:35.000 And then you open the door.

00:11:36.000 It makes my dad furious.

00:11:37.000 He's like, it's a lazy man's burden.

00:11:41.000 Keep going.

00:11:41.000 Oops.

00:11:45.000 I clicked today.

00:11:47.000 So prep going on a family trip.

00:11:49.000 Mom, all of this shit. 0.95

00:11:51.000 Dad helps load the car.

00:11:53.000 Has to go poop.

00:11:54.000 She's always talking about him pooping.

00:11:56.000 She hates that he poops.

00:11:58.000 I hate the word poop.

00:11:59.000 It's called shit, you stupid bitch. 1.00

00:12:02.000 And this is the part that, this is the reason I'm bringing this up.

00:12:05.000 Yes, you've got to deal with a lot of minutiae, a lot of around the cave, small stuff.

00:12:10.000 The dad's responsibility is to keep a roof over your head, make sure everyone has health care, make sure everyone has school, make sure everyone is well fed, and you have to make sure everyone's safe.

00:12:23.000 You're the boss.

00:12:24.000 If someone breaks into the house, you've got to run and tackle him.

00:12:28.000 So it's your responsibility.

00:12:30.000 The reason that you have all those silly things on that list is because you don't have to worry about the big things.

00:12:37.000 Like, is the house sinking?

00:12:39.000 Is there a leak in the foundation?

00:12:42.000 Do we have good air ventilation in this house?

00:12:44.000 Is it healthy for the kids?

00:12:47.000 Is this a good place to live in the long term?

00:12:50.000 Are our investments panning out?

00:12:52.000 Will we have enough to retire?

00:12:54.000 You don't have to worry about any of that shit.

00:12:56.000 Yes, you've got to pack some socks.

00:12:59.000 How do you not get that, you silly cunt.

00:13:02.000 Maybe this dad does like he only helps load the car, doesn't entirely load the car.

00:13:06.000 Well, I'm getting to his defense shortly.

00:13:09.000 Keep going?

00:13:10.000 Or maybe scroll down?

00:13:14.000 Yeah, okay.

00:13:19.000 Oh, life must be hell.

00:13:22.000 This is Larry David level.

00:13:24.000 Yeah.

00:13:26.000 Will you grab a bib for me today?

00:13:28.000 Where are the bibs?

00:13:29.000 They're in the same place they've always fucking been, you asshole.

00:13:32.000 But I don't say that.

00:13:33.000 I just tell him they're in the corner where they've always been.

00:13:35.000 Sorry, he's not totally attentive about the bibs.

00:13:38.000 So this goes on and on and on.

00:13:41.000 Just as this person says, seething with resentment.

00:13:46.000 Lots of stuff about the bathroom, not changing the toilet paper.

00:13:50.000 And then people start going, who is this guy?

00:13:53.000 He sounds like a real dick.

00:13:54.000 Look, when I see a peach, I go, oh, look, the last ripe peach.

00:13:59.000 I'll save it for the kids.

00:14:00.000 They love peaches so much.

00:14:02.000 Oh, look, the last ripe peach.

00:14:03.000 I'll use it as a special treat in my daily smoothie.

00:14:07.000 He gets smoothies every day.

00:14:09.000 Men eat peaches.

00:14:13.000 Okay, check this out.

00:14:14.000 So she publishes a statement because she starts getting backlashed.

00:14:17.000 People go, your husband's allowed to eat a peach.

00:14:20.000 Before I get any further into my own experience with this frustrating subject, I should say that this post is not a critique of Ben at all.

00:14:26.000 Oh.

00:14:27.000 Ben is an amazing father and husband.

00:14:29.000 He carries quite a mental load himself and does a lot around our house.

00:14:33.000 Oh, he does.

00:14:35.000 He cooks all of our dinners.

00:14:38.000 Pardon et moi.

00:14:41.000 What?

00:14:42.000 This deadbeat loser does all the cooking? 1.00

00:14:46.000 He does almost all of our grocery shopping.

00:14:50.000 He pays all our bills and maintains our yard.

00:14:54.000 He does his own laundry.

00:14:55.000 It gets better.

00:14:56.000 Three nights a week, he comes home from work and immediately handles all evening duties while I head out to teach yoga.

00:15:03.000 Teach yoga.

00:15:04.000 Shut up. 0.95

00:15:05.000 Can we just drop yoga?

00:15:07.000 It's not a thing.

00:15:08.000 It's just stretching.

00:15:10.000 Of course, I go on to say a lot about what Ben doesn't do around the house, but the point I was trying to make in this post is that it's not Ben's fault that our society, and then in gay brackets, a patriarchy, has taught him that all the extra things I handle around the house are just the things that women do, 0.67

00:15:28.000 and thus he doesn't have to worry about them.

00:15:29.000 Should he worry about more than having...

00:15:31.000 He's got two jobs, by the way.

00:15:33.000 He's a lawyer, and then he has some side hustle, some fitness thing that he runs.

00:15:38.000 So he has two jobs.

00:15:40.000 He does all the cooking, all the grocery shopping, and you're like, yeah, but the patriarchy doesn't respect the fact that I work hard too.

00:15:46.000 Yeah, I don't.

00:15:47.000 Am I the patriarchy?

00:15:49.000 Can you milk me?

00:15:52.000 We just recently did a move, and the roles were perfect.

00:15:56.000 She packs stuff.

00:15:57.000 I pack stuff.

00:15:58.000 I move all the stuff.

00:16:00.000 I'm talking like a box.

00:16:02.000 How did you move your bed and your couch and stuff?

00:16:04.000 That we had help with Hollowed and my cousin.

00:16:07.000 All the big stuff, like the couch, some furniture, and then that's it.

00:16:11.000 And then some boxes too.

00:16:12.000 Then the rest was just she packs, I carry, up the stairs, down the stairs, in the elevator, pack it in the car, drive it back and forth.

00:16:19.000 And then she unpacks.

00:16:20.000 It's very good.

00:16:21.000 But I had like things hanging on my arm.

00:16:24.000 It was awesome.

00:16:25.000 Did you rent a U-Haul for the big twice, yeah, yeah.

00:16:28.000 Yeah.

00:16:28.000 How much did it end up costing you?

00:16:30.000 I think $60 a trip because it was such a short time.

00:16:35.000 It was pretty good.

00:16:36.000 Did you get parking yet?

00:16:38.000 Kind of, yes.

00:16:40.000 Kind of.

00:16:41.000 Yeah.

00:16:42.000 We're not paying for what they gave us, but I'll explain that later.

00:16:45.000 Okay.

00:16:45.000 In the segment where I go over mundane crap.

00:16:48.000 So it's fun seeing people ratio this spoiled bitch. 1.00

00:16:53.000 That's after the thing.

00:16:54.000 Yeah, what's that one?

00:16:57.000 No, you're missing a whole bunch before that.

00:17:02.000 What are you doing?

00:17:03.000 Look under She's Getting Mad Ratioed. 1.00

00:17:07.000 It follows the big huge printout here.

00:17:11.000 Mad ratioed, got it.

00:17:12.000 Okay.

00:17:13.000 Well then let's put it up on the old screen, please.

00:17:17.000 Hold on, mommy's making a comic about how hard parenting is. 1.00

00:17:22.000 Like, she can't even draw a face.

00:17:26.000 Eat the peach has become a whole meme.

00:17:28.000 All these monsters eating a peach.

00:17:30.000 I think Eat the Peach has become a sort of a saying.

00:17:35.000 I've seen more than one of this, of these hideous monsters eating the peach.

00:17:43.000 And then there's him fucking a peach.

00:17:52.000 They're really easy to edit, though.

00:17:53.000 You got to give her credit.

00:17:54.000 Yeah, that's why they're almost open source.

00:17:56.000 About her being so terrible at drawing.

00:17:59.000 And what's the last one?

00:18:00.000 Whatever guy?

00:18:02.000 Well, the second last one.

00:18:04.000 Oh, yeah.

00:18:04.000 The meme in a meme.

00:18:06.000 This poor bastard.

00:18:08.000 Cooking three.

00:18:10.000 If you cook three nights a week.

00:18:12.000 Wait, if you cook every meal, you should get the most depraved sex imaginable whenever you want, 24 hours a day. 1.00

00:18:19.000 Full lingerie, five-inch stilettos, zero holds barred, whatever you want.

00:18:24.000 Maybe even the odd threesome.

00:18:26.000 Yeah, that would be three meals a day plus a baby meal.

00:18:29.000 And he's a fucking lawyer.

00:18:31.000 Yeah.

00:18:32.000 This is one of those times when you look at other cultures and you go, ugh, maybe they're not so bad after all. 1.00

00:18:39.000 Look at the last video.

00:18:43.000 I always try to make his penis hard, not his life. 0.99

00:18:50.000 Make his dick hard, not his life. 0.98

00:18:53.000 So he will make your pussy wet, not your eyes. 1.00

00:18:58.000 Wow.

00:18:59.000 Sold.

00:19:00.000 Fucking poetry.

00:19:01.000 All right.

00:19:03.000 Let's start the show.

00:19:05.000 Shall, and we will.

00:19:07.000 Come on, Truck. 0.89

00:19:08.000 Come out.

00:19:14.000 Beautiful, beautiful bird.

00:19:18.000 I think I finally mastered to start the show.

00:19:21.000 You nailed the shit out of it.

00:19:23.000 Finally, and you blow it.

00:19:24.000 Yep.

00:19:27.000 This is some hot goss.

00:19:28.000 So there's a veteran bill Called the Pact Act.

00:19:32.000 And we all know John Schlipowitz, whatever his real fucking name is, not the Scottish name he chooses, Jon Stewart.

00:19:40.000 He got involved in the fire department and the cops getting whatchamacall from the asbestos, getting cancer.

00:19:51.000 And he wanted them to get some sort of benefits.

00:19:54.000 And he harped on it on his show, and it took off, and he did change the law, which is bad.

00:20:02.000 You know why?

00:20:03.000 Because we want those cops to die.

00:20:05.000 No, just kidding.

00:20:06.000 It's bad because it went to his head.

00:20:09.000 He's always been a rich Manhattan kid.

00:20:11.000 Not unlike Kid Rock in Ann Arbor or wherever the fuck he was.

00:20:14.000 We'll get to him in a second.

00:20:16.000 But he's always been a rich kid.

00:20:17.000 And in New York City, it's very classist.

00:20:20.000 It's sort of like Britain, where the working class people of this city have a different accent, different culture, different everything. 0.78

00:20:28.000 And just like in Britain, where the middle class wish they could hang out with Tommy Robinson, and then he rejects them, so they devote their lives to hating him, like hope, not hate.

00:20:38.000 The middle class New Yorkers, if they can ever get a leg in, I mean, I'm almost guilty of this too with my Knights of Columbus meetings. 1.00

00:20:47.000 If they can get in with the working class, they go, yay! 1.00

00:20:50.000 So it all went to Stewart's head, and now he's like a war vet.

00:20:55.000 And he wears his t-shirts and his little hat that's all bent and broken in.

00:20:59.000 The guy's a multi-millionaire.

00:21:00.000 He's way richer than his rich dad now.

00:21:03.000 But as far as his look goes, he's gone way more working class.

00:21:07.000 So he's got the fucking stubble and the hat and the t-shirt.

00:21:11.000 So he's supporting the PACT Act because it's giving money to guys that had respiratory problems, vets, from these toxic burn pits.

00:21:20.000 Sounds good, right?

00:21:21.000 And that's his milieu.

00:21:23.000 His area of expertise, he tried multicultural news, didn't work out.

00:21:26.000 But his area of expertise is working-class people's lungs. 0.83

00:21:30.000 Strange thing to focus on, but that's his thing.

00:21:34.000 And Raheem Kassan and Jack Poseubic showed up to this thing to say, we're against it.

00:21:42.000 They're against it because at the 11th hour, the Dems injected $400 billion of fat that have nothing to do with vets.

00:21:52.000 So that's still pro-vet to oppose because you're against people using vet bills to sneak in money for yourself.

00:22:01.000 Jon Stewart doesn't quite get this, right?

00:22:05.000 So he approaches Rahim and Jack and goes ballistic.

00:22:11.000 Now these might be out of order, but he calls them trolls.

00:22:15.000 Does he even understand what the fuck is going on?

00:22:19.000 I serve.

00:22:20.000 I don't serve.

00:22:26.000 Take the phone, candidate.

00:22:28.000 Candidate fucking is not a game fucking the job.

00:22:32.000 I don't give a fuck.

00:22:33.000 I serve.

00:22:34.000 So his beef, Jon Stewart's beef is, if we kill this bill, the vets don't get their money.

00:22:40.000 So, I mean, is that what we do now?

00:22:44.000 We give vets money and let the Dems extort us with hundreds of billions of dollars?

00:22:50.000 No.

00:22:50.000 I'm not settling for that.

00:22:51.000 I want the vets who had the lung problems from the toxic burns to get their money, and I don't want anyone else getting money because of it.

00:23:00.000 Go, there's that whole thread there.

00:23:02.000 There's a bunch.

00:23:04.000 19.

00:23:07.000 Maybe go up.

00:23:09.000 Baby, go up. 0.89

00:23:11.000 Oh, yeah, we got it.

00:23:12.000 No, not that one.

00:23:12.000 Not that one.

00:23:13.000 That's the last one.

00:23:14.000 Okay.

00:23:15.000 Never thought I'd be the voice of reason.

00:23:16.000 There we go.

00:23:20.000 Over the line.

00:23:20.000 No, no, no.

00:23:21.000 These people have suffered for 15 years.

00:23:25.000 Look at them in the face.

00:23:26.000 Look at them in the face.

00:23:27.000 You're a child.

00:23:28.000 You're not in good face.

00:23:29.000 I'm for the bill.

00:23:30.000 You're not in good face.

00:23:31.000 So what's the problem?

00:23:32.000 You're not in good faith.

00:23:33.000 But John, why is John?

00:23:36.000 I'm not even against you guys.

00:23:37.000 What are you telling me to do?

00:23:38.000 Why are you doing this?

00:23:42.000 I like the guy with the cool robo leg.

00:23:48.000 What you want to do is put me the pack.

00:23:50.000 We actually went there.

00:23:51.000 He said no.

00:23:52.000 He does not want to meet the package.

00:23:56.000 Let's do it.

00:23:57.000 Let's fuck the house. 1.00

00:24:02.000 So, 2-0.

00:24:03.000 Eventually, Jack got through to him and said, look, dude, I don't know what troll means.

00:24:07.000 I want these guys to get their money.

00:24:08.000 I just don't want it to become part of a giant ripoff.

00:24:11.000 And Jon Stewart goes, oh, okay.

00:24:14.000 This is Jack Pisovic.

00:24:15.000 I'm here with Tim Jensen of Grundstyle.

00:24:17.000 And...

00:24:18.000 Hello.

00:24:19.000 Jon Stewart is also here.

00:24:21.000 Jon Stewart and I have decided to come to agreement.

00:24:23.000 Have we not, John?

00:24:24.000 Yes, sir.

00:24:25.000 I lost my temper a little bit.

00:24:27.000 I felt like I was being trolled.

00:24:29.000 And I realized that the important thing is, just got to get this done for these guys and get them over the finish line to get the health care they need.

00:24:36.000 We're at 98%.

00:24:38.000 Let's get it over the last 2%, please.

00:24:40.000 Is that fair?

00:24:40.000 Sure.

00:24:41.000 Shake on it.

00:24:42.000 Several fly, brother.

00:24:44.000 Do it.

00:24:47.000 I don't mean to ruin this whole thing for Pozo, but I was submitted his pants.

00:24:53.000 Uh-oh.

00:24:55.000 We have an issue here, guys.

00:24:57.000 I sent this to you separately, and it's maybe even worse than Jon Stewart's pathetic career.

00:25:04.000 Oh, no.

00:25:05.000 I see it.

00:25:07.000 All right.

00:25:08.000 I'm not saying not safe for work, but if you're a Pozo fan, Losiento.

00:25:12.000 This could be the end of his career.

00:25:14.000 That's bad.

00:25:14.000 Zoom in on that.

00:25:15.000 Of course.

00:25:16.000 This could ruin him.

00:25:18.000 What the fuck are you doing?

00:25:21.000 A suit with baggy cargo pants?

00:25:24.000 What are you wearing air walks to?

00:25:27.000 That is...

00:25:28.000 I've never even seen that before.

00:25:30.000 Never.

00:25:30.000 Usually you see something and you go, oh, I'm so sick of Crocs and pajamas.

00:25:34.000 Or, you know, I've even seen a suit with flip-flops.

00:25:36.000 That hurts me in New York City.

00:25:38.000 You see that, especially with the gays and the CEOs. 1.00

00:25:42.000 But, like, even Jon Stewart's LARPA blue collar pants are better.

00:25:50.000 Yeah, they should trade bottoms.

00:25:51.000 Those are baggy fat guy cargoes.

00:25:55.000 BFCs.

00:25:57.000 BFCGs, excuse me. 1.00

00:25:59.000 Shut up. 0.95

00:26:00.000 This is bad, too.

00:26:01.000 Charlie Kirk with his Adidas zooms around.

00:26:04.000 Oh, No.

00:26:05.000 And in a suit.

00:26:07.000 On a book cover?

00:26:09.000 That's correct.

00:26:11.000 Wow.

00:26:12.000 That's probably a great book, too.

00:26:13.000 And Slinky Socks.

00:26:15.000 What are slinky socks?

00:26:17.000 When your socks slink down.

00:26:18.000 Oh, yeah.

00:26:21.000 Wow.

00:26:21.000 That was rough.

00:26:24.000 Nancy Pelosi has decided to call China's Bluff and head to Taiwan. 1.00

00:26:30.000 There's a lot of talk of some shit going down tonight.

00:26:33.000 They said don't go there.

00:26:35.000 They actually said, go to 2-2.

00:26:37.000 They actually said, if you go visit Taiwan, bitch, you're going to die, and you religious people can pray for us. 1.00

00:26:45.000 Scroll down.

00:26:47.000 A lot of, what do they call it?

00:26:50.000 Saber welding?

00:26:52.000 Saber waving.

00:26:53.000 Rattling.

00:26:54.000 What?

00:26:54.000 Saber rattling.

00:26:56.000 Yeah.

00:26:57.000 They're on the beaches there.

00:26:58.000 We're going to shoot you, Taiwan. 1.00

00:27:03.000 I wonder if people take boats and go to Taiwan as refugees the way they do in Cuba with America. 0.92

00:27:10.000 I wonder if China sees Pelosi and they're about to fire and they're like, whoa, she got the big fucking tits. 1.00

00:27:20.000 What if they shoot at Taiwan and she just pulls out her tits and absorbs all the blows? 1.00

00:27:25.000 Yeah.

00:27:26.000 And we see her the next day and there's zero damage to Taiwan, but her tits are black and blue. 1.00

00:27:32.000 I would just go.

00:27:33.000 There's not one skin color part of them. 0.67

00:27:35.000 For each tit.

00:27:36.000 Yeah, I still wouldn't respect Nancy Pelosi, but when her tits walked by, I would salute. 1.00

00:27:40.000 Yeah.

00:27:41.000 And they'd put little metals on them.

00:27:43.000 You would do this.

00:27:44.000 You'd throw her the finger and then salute the tits. 1.00

00:27:51.000 Look at their grammar, though.

00:27:53.000 Go back to the Daily Mail thing.

00:27:54.000 I think they're making fun of us for believing in God because communists don't believe in anything.

00:28:00.000 So scroll down to the tweet.

00:28:08.000 Yeah, a bunch of stuff.

00:28:09.000 Bunch of threats.

00:28:10.000 Stuff to do.

00:28:12.000 Bunch of stuff.

00:28:13.000 Chinese asshole. 1.00

00:28:15.000 Bunch of tits. 1.00

00:28:16.000 Bunch of people ready to blow up.

00:28:18.000 It's almost like Gateway Pundit, but things that are related to the artist.

00:28:21.000 Underground tunnels to hide in if there's a bombing.

00:28:25.000 Why can't she go to Taiwan? 0.99

00:28:27.000 She's not recognizing them as a separate country.

00:28:30.000 Can we just go on a trip?

00:28:32.000 Some towel head. 0.99

00:28:35.000 Okay, here it is.

00:28:36.000 Let her go to Taiwan, but pray before departure.

00:28:40.000 Wish herself a safe journey and wish herself not be defined by history as a sinner who starts a spiral of escalation process, expanding military frictions to large-scale war in Taiwan straight. 0.68

00:28:55.000 Can they get someone who speaks English to run their China state affiliated media?

00:29:00.000 Wish herself a safe journey?

00:29:02.000 What are you?

00:29:02.000 Writing letters to fucking get off my lawn?

00:29:06.000 And then 2-3, it's costing us $90 million to send that bitch there. 1.00

00:29:14.000 Also going on right now in the serious news, we've got Alex Jones on trial for daring to deny Sandy Hook.

00:29:22.000 I didn't know that was illegal.

00:29:25.000 And I've been watching some of it, and I haven't watched a trial in a really long time.

00:29:30.000 Man, they're boring.

00:29:32.000 Sometimes I think the lawyers are trying to bore you to death, so you just give in and go, yeah, whatever, I did it.

00:29:38.000 That happened to Anthony Kume with his divorce.

00:29:40.000 He's just like, you know what?

00:29:41.000 Let's get the fuck out of here. 0.85

00:29:42.000 Give her a million dollars. 0.98

00:29:43.000 I can't take this anymore.

00:29:58.000 Good audio.

00:30:03.000 That was, I don't remember any of them.

00:30:05.000 Yeah, where's that mic being sent to?

00:30:07.000 Some other problem.

00:30:10.000 And there's a lot of exploiting the dead children and saying, so you were dubious that they would invite the parents in to look at all the dead bodies and they went by pictures.

00:30:19.000 There's bodies like there's kids shot in the face.

00:30:22.000 Should the parents look at all that?

00:30:23.000 Okay, I was wrong.

00:30:25.000 Why am I in a courtroom?

00:30:28.000 So you like dead children?

00:30:30.000 You want children to die? 0.99

00:30:32.000 You think they should be piloted?

00:30:33.000 No, I never said that.

00:30:35.000 They had Owen Troyer.

00:30:36.000 They had Daria up there.

00:30:38.000 They got Alex Jones.

00:30:39.000 See if you can find Alex Jones.

00:30:43.000 And it's just like, it never seems on the nose.

00:30:48.000 You know what I mean?

00:30:49.000 On, what's the word?

00:30:50.000 On subject?

00:30:52.000 We have on?

00:30:53.000 On point?

00:30:54.000 What is she got under penalty part of? 0.54

00:30:58.000 No, no, Alex.

00:30:59.000 You have to look at a whole other video.

00:31:00.000 He'll be in the thumbnail.

00:31:03.000 But it's...

00:31:05.000 Like, I want courts to be incredibly efficient.

00:31:09.000 What was the crime?

00:31:12.000 Who do you think did it?

00:31:14.000 What is the evidence?

00:31:16.000 I don't know what the crime is here.

00:31:19.000 It's like with the meandering.

00:31:22.000 Seditious conspiracy?

00:31:25.000 What you were coming to kill people?

00:31:27.000 Actually, let's do that.

00:31:28.000 Let's jump over to the meandering.

00:31:29.000 Fuck watching Alex Jones.

00:31:31.000 I'm going to get him on the show this week, I think.

00:31:33.000 Maybe he'll be on the Friday show.

00:31:35.000 And we'll hear it from his gorgeous lips.

00:31:38.000 His beast-tongue lips.

00:31:44.000 Oh, they became incredibly violent.

00:31:47.000 I'm now came face to face with these terrors.

00:31:58.000 Okay.

00:32:00.000 That last guy got four years.

00:32:02.000 So this dude just got seven years for storming the Capitol despite having not stormed the Capitol.

00:32:10.000 A judge done to the prosecutor's request for terrorism sentencing enhancement for a guy who was carrying a gun with him when he charged towards the U.S. Capitol.

00:32:19.000 Oh, okay.

00:32:20.000 So he allegedly wanted to go into the Capitol.

00:32:25.000 Pretty bad, huh?

00:32:26.000 Seven years.

00:32:28.000 Turn it up.

00:32:31.000 An MSNBC.

00:32:32.000 Most months ago, seven and a quarter years.

00:32:35.000 Now, that's on the lower range of what the judge ruled the guidelines suggested were appropriate in this case.

00:32:41.000 And the prosecution was asking for much more, as high as 15 years in prison.

00:32:45.000 They lost on a couple of legal issues, most importantly, their effort to seek a terrorism enhancement to label this case domestic terrorism.

00:32:55.000 The judge declined to do that.

00:32:57.000 This sentence followed a roller coaster day of legal arguments, which culminated in Guy Reffitt himself speaking before the judge and sort of making a last-minute plea that he was remorseful and apologetic after months of saying the opposite and essentially arguing from jail that he was a martyr and fundraising.

00:33:16.000 And he even suggested that some of his rhetoric was really about raising money for his family.

00:33:21.000 The judge made it pretty clear she didn't buy it, that she thought he was just telling her what she wanted to hear.

00:33:27.000 But at the end of the day, she sentenced him to a hefty prison sentence, the longest of any of the January 6th defendants, the previous long-term care.

00:33:35.000 Wouldn't you love to see this guy in a similar situation?

00:33:38.000 That guy in jail being offered pleas and sitting, rotting in solitary confinement.

00:33:42.000 But that's another thing that bothers me about American justice.

00:33:44.000 All this talk of remorse.

00:33:46.000 He didn't see remorseful.

00:33:48.000 We have him on a jail call saying, fuck these guys.

00:33:52.000 I don't care.

00:33:53.000 What was the crime?

00:33:55.000 What is the evidence?

00:33:57.000 Why do you think it's that guy?

00:33:59.000 That's it.

00:33:59.000 You could almost do 90% of it on a computer.

00:34:04.000 Like, I don't, the whole crying thing.

00:34:06.000 I don't care if you walk into the courtroom like this and tell the victims to fuck off, or you walk in the courtroom bawling your eyes out and say, what have I done?

00:34:13.000 And that's often the difference between 15 years and one year.

00:34:17.000 You got to allow for good actors.

00:34:19.000 And when I say good actors, I mean literally mean good at acting who are going to fake cry.

00:34:24.000 So his daughter's obviously distraught.

00:34:26.000 They're not going to see their father from, I guess maybe he can get out in five.

00:34:30.000 You know, I think the problem was he had a gun.

00:34:32.000 And you're not allowed to have a gun.

00:34:35.000 But remember the rumor, one of the big reasons I said, the main reason I said, don't go, proud boys, is I heard they're going to be allowing concealed carry permits for the first time on the Capitol in D.C. And I said, if they're allowing guns, then they're going to allow liberal guns and not and criminal guns and not you.

00:34:54.000 So you're going to get shot.

00:34:55.000 They're actually sort of hoping a militia will kill you all.

00:34:59.000 So don't go.

00:35:01.000 It's not pro-gun.

00:35:02.000 If you hear D.C. sounding pro-gun, it's not.

00:35:06.000 It's pro-guns against you.

00:35:08.000 And then this guy shows up with a gun.

00:35:10.000 So that's kind of confusing.

00:35:12.000 Was my intel wrong?

00:35:14.000 But listen to his daughters.

00:35:15.000 Poor things.

00:35:17.000 To Mark, my dad, is this horrible person.

00:35:20.000 And then having him prosecuted like this when somebody is maybe even able to get elected again doesn't seem right to me.

00:35:28.000 Trump deserves life in prison if my father's in prison for this long.

00:35:34.000 To Mark, my dad is this horrible person.

00:35:35.000 Those are major years, too.

00:35:37.000 Those girls look like they're in their late teens, early 20s. 1.00

00:35:40.000 27, they'll probably be married.

00:35:43.000 They'll already have kids.

00:35:44.000 He will have missed their weddings, everything.

00:35:47.000 Because he was at a rally.

00:35:51.000 Of course, Colbert's guys will be just fine.

00:35:58.000 They, I believe, invaded the Capitol.

00:36:00.000 So this guy went near the Capitol, seven years in prison.

00:36:03.000 Colbert's people go break into the Capitol.

00:36:07.000 Sorry, they enter the Capitol illegally twice.

00:36:11.000 No one is more critical of Capitol Police than I am, so this is a stunning honest account of Colbert's unpunished insurrectionists.

00:36:17.000 Contrary to previous reports, they unlawfully entered three Capitol buildings, harassed, threatened GOP lawmakers, and you got to click on the fucking Capitol Police while terrifying one Demhouse staffer.

00:36:34.000 Nine of them, remember?

00:36:35.000 And we predicted this.

00:36:36.000 We said there is no way they will be prosecuted for this.

00:36:42.000 Not so much as a fucking fine.

00:36:44.000 Because American justice today and American law enforcement is not about justice.

00:36:51.000 It's about propaganda.

00:36:53.000 It's about pushing the left's agenda.

00:36:56.000 And they're doing a great job, which is why they're going to be wiped out in the midterms.

00:37:03.000 That I guarantee you.

00:37:05.000 And then this clip, I meant to get to this last week, but he's doing a speech after the meandering.

00:37:12.000 And you get to see who he is.

00:37:14.000 Can you imagine Biden doing something like this?

00:37:17.000 That absolutely brain-dead fool having any kind of say in what he says and how it comes out.

00:37:24.000 Addressing the heinous attack yesterday.

00:37:28.000 And to those who broke the law, you will pay.

00:37:32.000 You do not represent our movement.

00:37:34.000 You do not represent our country.

00:37:36.000 And if you broke the law...

00:37:39.000 You can't say that.

00:37:41.000 I already said you will pay.

00:37:43.000 The demonstrators who infiltrated the capital have defied the seat of Dutch city.

00:37:49.000 It's defiled, right?

00:37:50.000 See, I can't see it very well.

00:37:52.000 Okay, I'll do this.

00:37:53.000 I'm going to do this.

00:37:53.000 Let's go.

00:37:54.000 But this election is now over.

00:37:57.000 Congress has certified the results.

00:37:59.000 I don't want to say the election is over.

00:38:00.000 I just want to say Congress has certified the results without saying the election's over, okay?

00:38:07.000 Okay.

00:38:08.000 But Congress is over.

00:38:10.000 Now Congress.

00:38:11.000 Yeah, but I didn't say over.

00:38:14.000 So let me say, don't go to the paragraph before.

00:38:19.000 I hate that his daughter's there.

00:38:22.000 Okay?

00:38:26.000 I would like to begin by addressing the heinous attack yesterday.

00:38:30.000 Yesterday is a hard word for me.

00:38:34.000 Take that?

00:38:34.000 The heinous attack?

00:38:36.000 Ah, good.

00:38:37.000 Take the word yesterday, because it doesn't work with.

00:38:40.000 The heinous attack on our country.

00:38:43.000 Say on our country.

00:38:45.000 Want to say that?

00:38:46.000 No.

00:38:47.000 My only goal was to ensure the integrity of the vote.

00:38:52.000 My only goal was to ensure the integrity of the vote.

00:38:58.000 That's awesome.

00:39:00.000 What a likable dude.

00:39:02.000 Well, we've discovered the origin of this national divorce, and you're going to be pretty shocked when you see whose fault it is in today's green screen séglement.

00:39:25.000 Come on, everybody.

00:39:29.000 You ready to cringe?

00:39:31.000 I've got some goose pimps for your goose prostitutes. 1.00

00:39:35.000 So this is from 2012.

00:39:37.000 Obama's big.

00:39:38.000 Romney's running against him.

00:39:40.000 And America's coming apart.

00:39:41.000 I got to hand it to Kid Rock, who produced this.

00:39:45.000 It's a nice concept.

00:39:46.000 We should come together.

00:39:47.000 And in a way, he predicted the national divorce.

00:39:50.000 But whoever wrote this is gay.

00:39:54.000 Get a writer, dude.

00:39:56.000 Come on.

00:39:59.000 Did you know Kid Rock was a rich kid?

00:40:00.000 I said I would.

00:40:03.000 And then he turned to him and I said, by the way, in fact, I'm willing to do those things.

00:40:08.000 Would you come here and perform a concert tonight for my friends?

00:40:12.000 Female bartenders do not watch political speeches, as a general rule. 1.00

00:40:16.000 That wouldn't have been on in the bar.

00:40:19.000 B, what kind of bar is that?

00:40:21.000 It's 90% wine.

00:40:24.000 C, what is with Sean Penn's hair?

00:40:28.000 The TV's so crisp.

00:40:29.000 Meanwhile, everything's out of focus.

00:40:32.000 Oh, yeah.

00:40:33.000 They could have fixed that.

00:40:35.000 Yeah, they could have played Mitt Romney.

00:40:37.000 Like, they could have recorded this segment and just had it play on the actual TV.

00:40:43.000 Or just Gaussian blur.

00:40:46.000 He said he would.

00:40:47.000 So I...

00:40:48.000 Gaussian blur.

00:40:49.000 It's named after the mathematician Gauss.

00:40:52.000 Dr. Rocks.

00:40:53.000 Look at his fucking hair.

00:40:55.000 He looks like a 12th century pauper.

00:40:57.000 Do you mind changing the channel?

00:41:00.000 Neanderthal.

00:41:02.000 Everywhere I go.

00:41:02.000 Stop.

00:41:03.000 Neanderthal is not an adjective, Sean.

00:41:06.000 Do you mind changing the channel?

00:41:07.000 It's a little Neanderthal. 0.75

00:41:09.000 Can I just rewrite this as we go along?

00:41:11.000 I won't, but...

00:41:12.000 Do you mind changing the channel?

00:41:14.000 This guy's a Neanderthal. 0.76

00:41:15.000 And it's Neanderthal. 0.58

00:41:23.000 So, Kid Rock, stop.

00:41:24.000 Kid Rock is in the bar.

00:41:27.000 And I guess he asked them to turn it on because he wants to see himself, which is kind of weird, but okay.

00:41:33.000 Did John Penn not notice that Kid Rock's entourage is at the bar, like four feet away from him?

00:41:40.000 Oh, no.

00:41:41.000 Kid Rock.

00:41:44.000 He is dressed pretty badly.

00:41:53.000 Do Liberals hate Kid Rock?

00:41:54.000 I don't even know.

00:41:55.000 Especially back then.

00:41:56.000 I don't think they mind it.

00:41:58.000 Oh, so bad.

00:42:01.000 It's funny because that's what I'm doing when I watch this little movie.

00:42:11.000 So she changes it to Ellen, which must piss off this guy.

00:42:19.000 So wait a minute, stop.

00:42:21.000 This guy's here.

00:42:22.000 His entourage, look at one of his guys in his entourage has homeless HR dreads from Bad Brains.

00:42:30.000 So you were watching yourself on TV.

00:42:33.000 Someone switches it to Ellen and you don't mind?

00:42:37.000 And then you keep on singing?

00:42:39.000 Is it because your eyes are closed?

00:42:40.000 You didn't notice that the music's not playing anymore?

00:42:43.000 And aren't the rest of his buddies going like, dude, Sean Penn just changed your live show to Ellen.

00:42:48.000 That's picking a fight.

00:42:50.000 And Ellen is usually on early afternoon.

00:42:53.000 Yeah, I guess they're day drinkers in the basement of a shitty hotel.

00:43:02.000 Okay, he's noticed.

00:43:06.000 Oh my God.

00:43:10.000 Look at these girls. 1.00

00:43:13.000 Look at the babysitters.

00:43:15.000 Great acting.

00:43:17.000 All the extras are so weird here.

00:43:20.000 They obviously don't know each other.

00:43:22.000 You know what you should do, guys?

00:43:23.000 If you're going to do a segment like this, have the extras like have some beers together first before the shot.

00:43:28.000 So there's at least some kind of rapport.

00:43:30.000 This looks like the waiting room of a dentist's office that does free homeless work.

00:43:37.000 Uh-oh, I fucked up.

00:43:38.000 I didn't notice Kid Rock at the bar when I walked up there.

00:43:41.000 Hope and change, huh?

00:43:43.000 Four years later, and working folks are just hoping to have a little change left over after your boy here, O Bummer, gets done taxing them to death and redistributing the wealth.

00:43:53.000 Well, there's that, but there's also the culture shit he did where he told everyone we're racist and race, race, race, and brought race back after it had been over for 30, 40 years, 40, 40, 45, yes?

00:44:06.000 Girls who said, tell a lie a thousand times, it becomes the truth. 1.00

00:44:11.000 I don't know about that, but it was Ricky Bobby who said, if he ain't first, you're last.

00:44:17.000 Wait, wait, stop.

00:44:18.000 Why is he fake crying?

00:44:20.000 Obviously, someone who quotes Ricky Bobby from a comedy, he gets that it's a comedy.

00:44:28.000 Why are you crying?

00:44:30.000 Chelf or Halliburton just printed on the back of your pastup.

00:44:33.000 Do you even work anymore?

00:44:34.000 Do you have a job?

00:44:35.000 Or does this Occupy Malbu thing keep you busy?

00:44:38.000 Is that from the Old Testament or from your rewrite?

00:44:42.000 I can't hear shit, Ryan.

00:44:44.000 Is that from the Old Testament or from your rewrite?

00:44:47.000 I can't hear you either.

00:44:48.000 Keep you busy.

00:44:49.000 Is that from the Old Testament or from your rewrite?

00:44:53.000 Okay, so did you hear that?

00:44:54.000 Is that in the Old Testament or is that in your rewrite?

00:44:57.000 So now Christians are in shit for having a New Testament?

00:44:59.000 I've never heard that insult before.

00:45:02.000 That's a new one.

00:45:03.000 You know what?

00:45:05.000 Fucking suck it, Cami. 1.00

00:45:08.000 It's a good one.

00:45:10.000 By the way, stop.

00:45:11.000 Sean Penn was friends with Hugo Chavez in Venezuela, which people always call the socialist country.

00:45:17.000 Seems pretty fucking communist to me.

00:45:20.000 Oops.

00:45:24.000 Commie.

00:45:25.000 Get ready to pause.

00:45:31.000 Seal clubbing.

00:45:34.000 Isn't that like the oktayuks up in Nunavut? 1.00

00:45:38.000 Who?

00:45:39.000 Seal clubbing?

00:45:40.000 We're getting back to the baby seals issue, which, by the way, disproportionately affects First Nations, as they call them up there.

00:45:47.000 So that's a weird one.

00:45:49.000 Flag waving, oil whoring, Chick-fil-A. 0.97

00:45:53.000 Stop.

00:45:54.000 Oil whoring. 0.94

00:45:55.000 I don't know what the fuck that.

00:45:56.000 I guess you're a bitch to the oil industry, which I am, yes. 1.00

00:45:59.000 And then it's bad that you eat at Chick-fil-A.

00:46:02.000 Why?

00:46:03.000 Because they don't have rainbow flags.

00:46:05.000 If you're not 100% with them, you're 100% against them.

00:46:07.000 You can't even eat chicken that isn't 100% with them.

00:46:12.000 Waterboarding.

00:46:13.000 NASCAR 11.

00:46:15.000 Cayman Island bank account having endangered species hunting war months.

00:46:23.000 Hungering, redneck, toothless, Wall Street.

00:46:30.000 Who calls people with teeth toothless?

00:46:33.000 Meanwhile, he grew up a millionaire's son.

00:46:37.000 Yeah, I guess not.

00:46:38.000 That's because you're basically a tofu munching, welfare-loving, Prius-driving, Obama-sucking, tree-hugging, whale-saving, gay marriage fantasy, big guns. 0.90

00:46:48.000 None of these sound that bad.

00:46:50.000 Tofu munching? 0.97

00:46:51.000 Go ahead, eat it up.

00:46:53.000 Whale saving?

00:46:54.000 I guess.

00:46:57.000 Go back a little bit.

00:46:59.000 Neither of these side insults sound terrible.

00:47:02.000 Troglodyte.

00:47:03.000 Yeah, I guess not.

00:47:05.000 That's because you're basically a tofu munching, welfare-loving, driving, Obama-sucking, tree-hugging, whale-saving, gay marriage fantasizing, big government voting, PETA chasing, Oprah Winfrey, masturbating, flag-burning, 0.95

00:47:21.000 social.

00:47:21.000 Oprah-Winfrey masturbating.

00:47:23.000 So you masturbate to Oprah Winfrey.

00:47:25.000 That has never happened once in the history of America.

00:47:28.000 No one has masturbated.

00:47:29.000 So I'm not mad at that one side of this, both of these sides are fucking cringe festivals.

00:47:36.000 Whoever wrote this needs to be fired.

00:47:38.000 Maybe it was a hot chick that he wanted to bone. 1.00

00:47:41.000 Just ACLU whiny-ass granola crat.

00:47:48.000 Touche.

00:47:52.000 Okay, just fight.

00:47:54.000 That would have been way easier at the beginning.

00:48:01.000 False patriot, fucking pussy. 1.00

00:48:04.000 Excuse me.

00:48:06.000 Of course, who comes along to save the day but the black woman? 1.00

00:48:11.000 Black women are smarter than any other people in the world. 1.00

00:48:15.000 So listen to them.

00:48:16.000 Pay attention to them.

00:48:18.000 When two white men are having an argument based of point-form lists of petty insults, then we need to be saved by the ever-present, super intellectual Jamaican woman. 1.00

00:48:36.000 Pedophile.

00:48:40.000 Racist.

00:48:41.000 Yeah.

00:48:42.000 Kid Rock the rapper is racist.

00:48:46.000 I don't know if racism is a good comeback to pedophile.

00:48:49.000 Yeah, I'll take a racist over a pedophile any day.

00:48:52.000 You fuck kids? 1.00

00:48:53.000 Oh, yeah?

00:48:53.000 Well, you don't like rap.

00:48:56.000 Okay.

00:48:57.000 Racist?

00:48:58.000 Motherfucker, I tour with Ice Cube. 1.00

00:49:00.000 I dig colors.

00:49:02.000 My son's half black.

00:49:03.000 So's your president.

00:49:05.000 Not for long.

00:49:06.000 Yeah, okay.

00:49:07.000 Insults, by the way?

00:49:09.000 My son's half black, so's your president.

00:49:10.000 Not for long.

00:49:12.000 Rock.

00:49:14.000 As soon as your tin man gets behind the curtain in November, you can bet one thing that by January, I'm an expatriate.

00:49:22.000 Because you have it so bad here, right?

00:49:25.000 Freedom, opportunity, wealth.

00:49:28.000 But still, you're a bunch of Civil War and douchebags. 0.86

00:49:31.000 Who'd rather find it?

00:49:32.000 You know how Jamaicans love saying douchebag all the time. 1.00

00:49:35.000 That's like their go-to word after blood clot and Pekkanini.

00:49:39.000 Why are you going to vex me so with your douchebags? 1.00

00:49:43.000 I got douchebag closing in on Babylon.

00:49:47.000 But still you're a bunch of Civil War and douchebags. 0.61

00:49:50.000 That was South African. 0.85

00:49:52.000 Douchebags?

00:49:54.000 What?

00:49:55.000 Are you douchebags?

00:49:56.000 But still, you're a bunch of Civil War and douchebags. 0.86

00:49:58.000 Who'd rather fight over whose ditch bigger than exploit this incredible gift?

00:50:04.000 Me dreamt of coming over here for 19 years, and I'll spend 10 more fighting to become a citizen.

00:50:10.000 Yet you fool me.

00:50:11.000 I don't believe you.

00:50:12.000 Squabble and won.

00:50:14.000 Guan, leave. 0.84

00:50:16.000 Fucking pussies. 1.00

00:50:18.000 Fucking pussies. 1.00

00:50:19.000 Whose dick's bigger?

00:50:21.000 19, no illegal.

00:50:23.000 What did he say?

00:50:24.000 My dick's bigger, I'm not kidding.

00:50:26.000 19, no illegal.

00:50:28.000 Whose dick's bigger?

00:50:30.000 19, no illegal.

00:50:33.000 19, no what?

00:50:34.000 His dick's 19 inches long?

00:50:35.000 No illegal.

00:50:36.000 19, no illegal.

00:50:39.000 The fuck.

00:50:42.000 Whose dick's bigger?

00:50:43.000 19, no illegal.

00:50:46.000 No green cards, still illegal.

00:50:51.000 I don't know what the fuck they're talking about if it's her or their penises. 0.99

00:50:54.000 And if your penis is 19 inches long, I feel really sorry for you.

00:50:58.000 You have a horrible life coming up.

00:51:04.000 We have some breaking news.

00:51:06.000 Perfect timing.

00:51:07.000 26 Marines were killed in vicious fighting today outside Jalalabad.

00:51:12.000 This marks the tragic milestone of 2,000 soldiers killed in Afghanistan since the conflict began 11 years ago after the hurricane.

00:51:20.000 Hey, this is where I start to get douche chills.

00:51:22.000 Not because of dead Marines, that's always horrific, but their reaction is so over the top.

00:51:30.000 Especially Sean Penn's.

00:51:32.000 What's that sound?

00:51:43.000 So wait a minute.

00:51:44.000 This is weird.

00:51:46.000 We both hate each other, but the only thing we can agree on is that Marines, young men, having their heads blown off is bad.

00:51:56.000 If that's the only thing that unites you, you have irreconcilable differences.

00:52:02.000 In defense of freedom.

00:52:05.000 Look at him.

00:52:12.000 And they're both crying.

00:52:14.000 Amen.

00:52:14.000 If you're an adult male and this happens in a bar, you go, oh, for fuck's sakes, Jesus.

00:52:21.000 What are we even doing there?

00:52:23.000 Half the people go, we have to be there, but we better get out soon.

00:52:27.000 The other half go, we never should have been there.

00:52:30.000 But both sides go, oh my God.

00:52:32.000 It's in a bar.

00:52:33.000 It's not really a crying atmosphere, especially when you've just both been arguing your point form list insults.

00:52:38.000 But to both be sobbing?

00:52:40.000 Sean, aren't you an actor?

00:52:43.000 Freedom.

00:52:46.000 Look at that.

00:52:48.000 Look at that.

00:52:49.000 To freedom.

00:52:52.000 Did he just wave air in his eyes like a black woman who's starting to cry? 0.99

00:52:57.000 No, dude, I didn't mean to call you all that stuff and all that.

00:53:02.000 I don't even really know if my dick's bigger or not.

00:53:06.000 Yeah, I mean, I don't know that you're a troglodyte.

00:53:11.000 Stop.

00:53:12.000 I don't know if you're a troglodyte.

00:53:14.000 This is like when he said Neanderthal at the beginning.

00:53:17.000 This is people who don't read trying to use big words.

00:53:20.000 The other big words they like to use is horrendous and atrocious.

00:53:25.000 Ryan, there's someone vacuuming next door.

00:53:27.000 You got to turn this up.

00:53:28.000 I don't know if you turn up the main speaker or what.

00:53:30.000 Because Sean Penn has got this, what's his name, Will Witt voice, where he's trying to seduce you all the time.

00:53:36.000 And he's like, hey man, I didn't even know if you're a troglodyte.

00:53:39.000 I didn't even know if you're an anathol.

00:53:41.000 I didn't even know if you're horrid and atrocious.

00:53:44.000 Please stop.

00:53:45.000 Just erase troglodyte and horrid and atrocious from America's vocabulary.

00:53:51.000 I don't care what the context.

00:53:52.000 Those all have to go.

00:53:53.000 Joe Rogan loves saying atrocious all the time.

00:53:56.000 Fucking hurts me.

00:53:58.000 I have any empirical evidence.

00:54:06.000 Stop.

00:54:06.000 I have little empirical evidence that you're a troglodyte.

00:54:10.000 The little empirical evidence joke would have been okay if we're talking about dicks.

00:54:14.000 This is...

00:54:16.000 Like, read it first.

00:54:17.000 Read the script first.

00:54:21.000 This could have been so much better if those stupid point-form insults weren't there and it was...

00:54:26.000 Both sides had valid arguments about the state of America.

00:54:29.000 Wouldn't that have been awesome?

00:54:33.000 And they insulted each other's career.

00:54:35.000 Sean Penn called him a wigger with his fake black accent.

00:54:38.000 You're a rich kid.

00:54:39.000 You didn't grow up in Detroit.

00:54:40.000 You grew up outside of Detroit in those affluent suburbs.

00:54:43.000 And you're a fucking joke.

00:54:44.000 You haven't done anything half decent since Jeff Spiccoli running around the world doing Coke in Haiti and pretending that you're helping, befriending dictators.

00:54:53.000 You're a fucking joke.

00:54:55.000 Your whole half of the country is a joke.

00:54:57.000 That would have been great.

00:54:59.000 But shit's about to get a lot worse.

00:55:06.000 Oh, stop.

00:55:07.000 Did you see that neck gesture?

00:55:10.000 He said with his eyes doing eye acting, should I give you a hug?

00:55:18.000 Oh, my God.

00:55:20.000 I'm going to do that next time I hug my wife.

00:55:22.000 I'm going to stand next to her and go.

00:55:28.000 I love you.

00:55:30.000 Should we hug?

00:55:31.000 Why are you hugging?

00:55:33.000 Because the Marines died?

00:55:35.000 That's not what they died for.

00:55:38.000 They died to stop the spread of Islam. 1.00

00:55:41.000 Not so fucking cornballs can hug.

00:55:44.000 So this is weird.

00:55:46.000 He's got his, I don't know what that is, a cool 50s car.

00:55:50.000 Fucking 57 T-Bird or whatever.

00:55:57.000 It's a Cadillac?

00:55:58.000 Chevy.

00:55:59.000 Chevy?

00:56:00.000 Beautiful car.

00:56:08.000 Let's go.

00:56:11.000 What?

00:56:12.000 Yeah, it's okay.

00:56:14.000 A Chevy and Paula.

00:56:15.000 A Chevy and Paula.

00:56:16.000 I thought that was a...

00:56:18.000 So I'm watching this and I'm like, oh, it's a Toyota Prius ad?

00:56:22.000 What did they pay each of those guys $5 million?

00:56:26.000 Is this a $10 million car commercial?

00:56:29.000 It's not.

00:56:30.000 This is just one part.

00:56:31.000 And why is it cool to give up your cool, awesome old American car and buy some little secretary mobile?

00:56:40.000 Is that what we want?

00:56:40.000 Is that how we unite as a country?

00:56:42.000 We buy garbage Japanese shit?

00:56:48.000 Yeah, let's get rid of beautiful classic cars.

00:56:55.000 Who is in charge of this?

00:56:58.000 Look at that salesman.

00:56:59.000 What a coat.

00:57:01.000 Sean is laughing in the background.

00:57:03.000 Kid Rock's like, are you serious?

00:57:05.000 But they sell him.

00:57:07.000 And in order to bring the country together, he gets a Prius or a, I don't know what that is.

00:57:14.000 With a gun rack.

00:57:16.000 Stop water.

00:57:17.000 So the water's not healthy here.

00:57:19.000 I guess they're fracking, right?

00:57:22.000 And that's bad.

00:57:23.000 So we're just going to gloss over the fact that that Chevy and Pal is gone.

00:57:27.000 They got rid of that.

00:57:29.000 And then he's pissing, right?

00:57:31.000 Terrible fake piss.

00:57:32.000 But check this out.

00:57:34.000 Stop, stop.

00:57:34.000 Wait, go back a bit.

00:57:36.000 So they're talking about the quality of the water table.

00:57:38.000 Don't piss here.

00:57:39.000 And if there's one thing that a giant sandy prairie can't handle, it's half a pint of urine.

00:57:50.000 Like, what is this?

00:57:51.000 So Kid Rock's taking a piss, and then Sean Penn comes over with a little kid's bucket.

00:57:59.000 So we don't get any pee on the sand.

00:58:01.000 Yeah, pee goes right down to the water table. 0.99

00:58:03.000 I don't know if you knew that.

00:58:04.000 And gophers and deer don't piss there at all.

00:58:07.000 What?

00:58:08.000 Just good to go.

00:58:09.000 You could put fucking nuclear waste there and the sand would absorb it.

00:58:13.000 Calm the fuck down.

00:58:16.000 And don't you have to take your whole overalls off to piss?

00:58:19.000 Shouldn't we be seeing his bum?

00:58:22.000 Look at this.

00:58:23.000 Oh, well, I had to do it.

00:58:24.000 That's your piss? 0.90

00:58:25.000 Sorry, that's my piss.

00:58:26.000 Oh, well.

00:58:27.000 Where are you taking that now to a toilet?

00:58:30.000 Okay, so now stop.

00:58:31.000 So now they've become best friends.

00:58:33.000 And they're learning from each other, just like we could learn from each other.

00:58:37.000 Like, don't drink martinis.

00:58:38.000 They're gay. 0.99

00:58:42.000 Didn't he hear him order it?

00:58:45.000 What the fuck?

00:58:47.000 Try it, my beer.

00:58:50.000 Let's drink a beer together.

00:58:51.000 What do you think?

00:58:53.000 Oh, it's so gross.

00:58:56.000 What was that?

00:58:57.000 So now they go to a gay marriage. 0.68

00:59:01.000 And of course, it's beautiful.

00:59:04.000 Come in, enjoy.

00:59:08.000 No thanks, yucky.

00:59:09.000 It's one thing I learned about hanging with black people in rap, that you never compliment homosexuals. 0.98

00:59:14.000 Now they're sitting on the beach, cross-legged, opening presents for each other.

00:59:20.000 One of them gets a Peter Rocks, and the other gets a NASCAR.

00:59:25.000 And they decide, because I think they're falling in love here, they decide to switch shirts.

00:59:31.000 And now he's giggling?

00:59:33.000 Look at that.

00:59:35.000 He's giggling and holding a Peter Rocks shirt.

00:59:40.000 Like, the parody is Nickelodeon levels.

00:59:46.000 We love America.

00:59:48.000 I don't think the sport of NASCAR is equivalent to the activism of PETA either.

00:59:52.000 Yeah, everyone loves NASCAR.

00:59:54.000 You cannot deny it looks cool.

00:59:55.000 I don't care if you're from outer space.

00:59:57.000 PETA is a fucked up, corrupt organization with kill shelters.

01:00:01.000 They rescue dogs from kill shelters and then don't know what to do with them, so they kill them.

01:00:06.000 It's a bizarre contradiction of itself.

01:00:09.000 NASCARs doesn't kill cars. 1.00

01:00:13.000 You know what, man?

01:00:14.000 What?

01:00:15.000 You're still a freaking commie.

01:00:19.000 And you still think you can see Russia through your house. 0.77

01:00:22.000 Stop.

01:00:23.000 You're still a fucking commie.

01:00:25.000 I mean, I don't know where I am with this parody here, right?

01:00:28.000 I'm criticizing the comedy thing.

01:00:31.000 So they're not literally trying to have a point versus point debate.

01:00:34.000 This isn't like Tucker Carlson and what was his name, Ben Smith.

01:00:37.000 But Sean Penn is a commie.

01:00:41.000 He supports socialism.

01:00:44.000 And when, what was her name who said that?

01:00:46.000 Sarah, my brain is going blank here.

01:00:49.000 Governor Palin, Sarah Palin.

01:00:51.000 When she said, I can see Russia from my house, she doesn't literally mean she looks out her window and Russians are going, Shamfonti stok, shavloti stok.

01:01:00.000 She means it's so close.

01:01:02.000 I can basically see it from my window.

01:01:04.000 So if we were to have some sort of a war scenario, I'm in the front lines.

01:01:08.000 I'm the first thing they're going to see if they come over to invade us.

01:01:11.000 So I'm familiar with the concept of foreign relations.

01:01:15.000 And once again, the left always does this.

01:01:17.000 They take our jokes, like grab them by the pussy, and they pretend it's some sort of doctrine that we want installed in the fucking dictionary. 0.99

01:01:26.000 Man, if it weren't for Ronnie, you'd be standing in Russia.

01:01:31.000 Well, you know what they say.

01:01:35.000 One thing to have an actor in the White House.

01:01:38.000 Quite another bad actor.

01:01:43.000 Don't let politics divide us.

01:01:45.000 I think I know now why politics has become so divisive in this country.

01:01:48.000 It's this video.

01:01:53.000 Flip-flops.

01:01:54.000 Could you imagine a liberal doing this under the Trump administration?

01:01:57.000 They would never.

01:01:59.000 Never.

01:02:00.000 Trump would be like, he's a murderer, so no, I'm not going to make a funny little video.

01:02:03.000 I don't want to give Nazis a plot for him.

01:02:13.000 This was the least badass thing I've ever seen.

01:02:17.000 Holy fuck.

01:02:18.000 And it could have been so good.

01:02:20.000 Thanks a lot, Kid Rock, for separating this country worse than any fucking Charlottesville nuclear war child pedo ring.

01:02:30.000 This was the worst thing that's happened to America since 9-11.

01:02:39.000 Now I'm following, following Mosso.

01:02:48.000 What is that guy?

01:02:49.000 Mosso.

01:02:51.000 I think he's Japanese.

01:02:55.000 Maybe he can be our new whackpacker. 0.99

01:02:58.000 With a name like Yoshi, I think he is Japanese, right?

01:03:02.000 Well, it's a really dumb thing to name your band because when you Google it, you obviously get 900 pounds of Mario.

01:03:10.000 Or sorry, Mario, as they say here.

01:03:12.000 We'll do that part over again.

01:03:14.000 Mario, take the Mario out. 0.83

01:03:15.000 Put Yoshi.

01:03:17.000 I don't like it.

01:03:18.000 I've got a lot of trouble with that word.

01:03:20.000 I have trouble with Luigi.

01:03:22.000 I don't want to say that.

01:03:22.000 Take that out.

01:03:23.000 Put in Wario. 0.66

01:03:25.000 Let's call Sylvia. 0.97

01:03:26.000 I haven't heard from her in a Yonks. 0.98

01:03:38.000 GD.

01:03:42.000 Hello?

01:03:43.000 Hey, Sylvia, how you doing?

01:03:44.000 It's Gavin.

01:03:46.000 Oh, I'm not well, Gavin.

01:03:49.000 My lungs are sharp, but I'm dizzy.

01:03:52.000 I can't do much of anything.

01:03:55.000 How have you been?

01:03:56.000 I'm okay.

01:03:57.000 What does the doctor say?

01:04:03.000 I feel bad I bought you cigarettes so many times.

01:04:06.000 No, believe me, it wasn't.

01:04:09.000 Lungs were already permanently damaged, okay?

01:04:13.000 Not your fault.

01:04:15.000 I haven't seen you out and about walking down the street.

01:04:19.000 I stay home most of the time.

01:04:21.000 I'm too busy to walk.

01:04:24.000 No.

01:04:25.000 How about that little dog?

01:04:26.000 Is it still around?

01:04:28.000 No, my baby, she died May 13th.

01:04:35.000 No.

01:04:38.000 I got a little rescue dog.

01:04:42.000 He's with Chihuahua, too.

01:04:44.000 That's the one I was talking about.

01:04:45.000 How's it doing?

01:04:45.000 Oh, yeah, he's okay.

01:04:49.000 He's okay.

01:04:49.000 Thank you.

01:04:50.000 Do you have someone coming by regularly?

01:04:52.000 Do you need anything?

01:04:53.000 No, no, I'm good.

01:04:54.000 My daughter comes every day, and my girlfriend comes on the weekends, so I'm not alone.

01:04:59.000 I'm good, But thanks for asking, Gavin.

01:05:03.000 I hope everything goes well for you.

01:05:05.000 Yeah, yeah, it's great.

01:05:07.000 Well, let's keep checking in.

01:05:09.000 I think you'll be back on your feet in a couple weeks.

01:05:12.000 I hope so.

01:05:13.000 All right.

01:05:14.000 All right.

01:05:14.000 Cheers, Sil.

01:05:16.000 Bye.

01:05:19.000 Wow, that really.

01:05:23.000 Whoa.

01:05:24.000 Womp, womp, womph.

01:05:28.000 You really know how to drag it down, right?

01:05:31.000 Yikes.

01:05:32.000 Not very entertaining.

01:05:34.000 A little too real.

01:05:35.000 Maybe check in on seniors before the show and make sure that they're not Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh.

01:05:44.000 No, we wish old Sil nothing but the best.

01:05:48.000 Let's do a quick Antifa before we get to the letters because they're an integral part of the national divorce, too. 0.98

01:06:14.000 I saw this.

01:06:15.000 I follow a ton of Antifa accounts, and I saw them talk about this man who was trying to steal cars on property he claims is his, but this tow truck was destroyed, and the oligarch, the oligarch was forced to leave.

01:06:29.000 And I'm like, oligarch?

01:06:32.000 This is sounding a teensy bit biased.

01:06:35.000 It sounds like you just took over this guy's property and you refused to leave.

01:06:41.000 And then, of course, you check normal Twitter accounts, like Andy knows, and you see that's exactly what happened.

01:06:49.000 Go to 3.8.

01:06:50.000 What the fuck are they doing now?

01:06:51.000 There are squatters on the property and the seller does not have resources to remove them and is willing to negotiate the price for a buyer to take the risk of closing.

01:06:59.000 Home sellers in Portland have put houses on the market at a great deal, but there's a catch.

01:07:05.000 What is this now?

01:07:07.000 They're squatting homes.

01:07:11.000 What a night.

01:07:12.000 Look at that house.

01:07:15.000 Jesus.

01:07:16.000 Who wants to live there?

01:07:18.000 Who wants to live in that town? 0.99

01:07:21.000 I was just there, and it's funny because not just, like a year ago.

01:07:26.000 When I grew up, when you thought of Portland and Seattle, when you thought of Seattle, you thought of grunge.

01:07:31.000 That's since the early 90s.

01:07:32.000 But when you thought of the Pacific Northwest, you thought of mountain bikes.

01:07:36.000 You thought of lakes.

01:07:37.000 You thought of hiking boots and those cargo shorts and the Patagonia sweatshirt.

01:07:43.000 You thought of going on a hike in the mountains.

01:07:45.000 You didn't think of racism and fascism.

01:07:49.000 I mean, when you think of fascism, shouldn't that be in a political town like Washington, D.C.?

01:07:54.000 Not a big redwood town like Tacoma and Seattle and Portland?

01:08:02.000 It's so weird that these places have become the political hotspots.

01:08:06.000 Maybe it's just a white thing.

01:08:08.000 Whites need to complain about white people. 1.00

01:08:12.000 Blacks don't do this. 1.00

01:08:13.000 Even like middle-class blacks who have made it out of the hood and got their life together, their whole thing is like peace.

01:08:21.000 They have no interest in other blacks behaving badly.

01:08:24.000 They don't want to help the hood. 0.98

01:08:26.000 They totally abandon the hood.

01:08:28.000 But white people, they self-destruct. 0.66

01:08:32.000 And it's one of the biggest mysteries of my life.

01:08:34.000 I honestly believe it's a genetic trait.

01:08:36.000 It's some sort of strange lemming trait where when they reach a certain level of success, they self-immolate and annihilate. 1.00

01:08:44.000 What are these pictures now?

01:08:46.000 No, it's 4 out of 11.

01:08:47.000 Oh, is that a screen grab, though?

01:08:49.000 It's not 4 out of 11.

01:08:50.000 Yeah.

01:08:51.000 So go to the top of this.

01:08:56.000 Portlanders desperately try to sell homes taken over by squatters.

01:08:59.000 Unfortunately, there are squatters on the property and seller does not have the resource to remove them.

01:09:02.000 Oh, we already read that.

01:09:03.000 Go down a bit.

01:09:06.000 A two-bedroom, three-bathroom, single-family home has been placed on the market for $330,000.

01:09:11.000 There's a catch, though.

01:09:12.000 The buyer ultimately ends up purchasing the home.

01:09:14.000 We'll be tasked with removing squatters.

01:09:16.000 This sounds like a job for the mob.

01:09:19.000 Right?

01:09:20.000 This is perfect for someone with some friends who are able to take care of that thing with the stuff.

01:09:28.000 You know?

01:09:29.000 Jewish lightning. 0.85

01:09:32.000 Keep going.

01:09:35.000 What a fucking mess.

01:09:36.000 Just beat them up.

01:09:38.000 The neighborhood has reportedly become a hub of homeless people taking advantage of vacant homes with neighbors saying that they now live in fear for their safety.

01:09:44.000 Why'd you let the homes go vacant?

01:09:46.000 It's unbearable to watch your whole city become a dumpster fire, says Annette Benedetti, who lives near homes on South Zimbabwe, that have sat abandoned and have since had numerous homeless people move in with RVs lining the streets.

01:09:59.000 In early July, Benedetti said that 16 homeless people had moved into the neighborhood.

01:10:03.000 It's a living nightmare.

01:10:06.000 These are left-wing policies.

01:10:09.000 You could take a virtual tour.

01:10:15.000 Should we click that?

01:10:17.000 Yeah, well, the virtual tour is...

01:10:18.000 Oh, there we go.

01:10:19.000 That's interesting.

01:10:21.000 Oh, okay.

01:10:22.000 So those don't look like the easy-to-remove groups.

01:10:26.000 No, but it's kind of equestrian.

01:10:28.000 There's horses.

01:10:29.000 There's a policeman.

01:10:30.000 They have one cop.

01:10:32.000 Oh, it doesn't look like he's doing too good.

01:10:34.000 Uh-oh.

01:10:35.000 All right, well, let's.

01:10:37.000 As soon as they bite your leg, you're fucked, right?

01:10:38.000 Can they bite your horse? 0.70

01:10:39.000 I don't watch zombie movies.

01:10:41.000 I'm not 10.

01:10:42.000 What am I five?

01:10:47.000 I thought this was interesting, too.

01:10:48.000 I've been thinking about this a lot.

01:10:50.000 These Karens, these middle-class Karens, they work with Antifa because they have the same politics.

01:10:56.000 Remember, what's her name?

01:10:57.000 Joy Behar on The View saying, Antifa, that's an idea, not an organization.

01:11:03.000 Anti-fascist, that's what it means.

01:11:05.000 And it's sort of like Nazi skinheads being in bed with like normal conservative housewives. 0.70

01:11:12.000 Like when Antifa terrorized my neighborhood and put up posters saying, get him out of here, he's evil.

01:11:16.000 And then the local liberal housewives were like, okay, thanks, we'll take it from here. 1.00

01:11:20.000 And they joined up doing the exact same thing.

01:11:22.000 Like imagine a conservative area like Darion, Darion, Connecticut.

01:11:26.000 A bunch of Nazi skinheads like Patriot Front or whatever comes up there and says, fuck this guy.

01:11:31.000 And then the local housewives go, okay, we'll take it from here. 1.00

01:11:34.000 You don't see conservative housewives in bed with radical right wingers the way you always see liberal housewives totally at bed with the radical, radical, radical left.

01:11:46.000 So this guy doxed these Antifa doxers, and look who it is.

01:11:51.000 Uh-oh.

01:11:52.000 Oh, shit.

01:11:59.000 I should have done a screen guab.

01:12:02.000 Shit.

01:12:04.000 Well, here, go to the top.

01:12:08.000 Exposing MAF.

01:12:10.000 Well, that's penisy. 0.56

01:12:12.000 That is penisy. 0.99

01:12:14.000 Maybe you can dig it up.

01:12:15.000 But they found these Karens who were doxing all these people and getting Proud Boys fired, and they were normal run-of-the-mill housewives. 0.94

01:12:24.000 Like middle-class moms who did not look remotely Antifa.

01:12:32.000 Interesting how Sonia... 1.00

01:12:33.000 Oh, there they go.

01:12:39.000 La Sonia.

01:12:42.000 Hey, Sonia.

01:12:43.000 No, that's La Sonia to you.

01:12:45.000 I'm Latinx.

01:12:48.000 And then go to the other one.

01:12:53.000 Marketing firecracker.

01:12:54.000 You see, that's, and go back, proud mama. 0.99

01:12:56.000 She probably says kiddos.

01:12:57.000 So these women work in PR. 1.00

01:13:00.000 And when they're not organizing wine and cheese tasters, they are doxing people, allegedly.

01:13:11.000 And I thought that's kind of the problem with the left, is they don't eschew their radicals.

01:13:17.000 It's actually not an infinity pool.

01:13:19.000 She's just displacing so much water. 1.00

01:13:21.000 You can't see one side of it.

01:13:25.000 This is all kind of ancient news.

01:13:27.000 I've been meaning to get off my book for a while.

01:13:30.000 State of emergency in Portland being declared.

01:13:34.000 On July 21st, Ted Wheeler declared a state of emergency due to the historic surge of homicides and shootings.

01:13:40.000 Antifa and far left have decried the declaration.

01:13:42.000 They thrive off once and chaos, believing they help undermine capitalism.

01:13:46.000 Yes, you are correct, Antifa.

01:13:48.000 Your riots do undermine capitalism.

01:13:52.000 In fact, you're playing into the hands of the despots and the tyrannical fascists, really.

01:14:00.000 When you destroy businesses, you justify increased police presence, not less.

01:14:05.000 And then the next thing you know, you're living under a dictatorship.

01:14:09.000 Racist fucking shit.

01:14:15.000 And then there's this guy, Rod Weber.

01:14:18.000 Absolute clown and lives with his mom, his professor mom.

01:14:22.000 She justifies, look at him.

01:14:24.000 That's him in the front.

01:14:25.000 So these are proud boys who are in trouble for protesting a drag queen story event because objecting to groomers is evil.

01:14:34.000 And so this career Antifa kid, Rod Weber, comes up and attacks them and is filming them and doxing them.

01:14:39.000 They're on their way to court.

01:14:40.000 How dare you protest groomers?

01:14:42.000 How dare you oppose pedophilia, you radical freaks.

01:14:46.000 So this guy keeps jumping them, screaming at them.

01:14:50.000 You're cutting off a lot of the video.

01:14:51.000 There he is.

01:14:52.000 That's Rod Weber there.

01:14:54.000 And he starts pushing at them, trying to...

01:14:56.000 And then he starts attacking the cops.

01:14:58.000 And now look at him fall.

01:15:00.000 Ow, whoa, ow! 0.99

01:15:06.000 Help! 0.98

01:15:08.000 Look at him dressed all Pacific Northwest punky.

01:15:12.000 He's like 48 years old.

01:15:15.000 Get the fuck out of my face.

01:15:16.000 God, those people.

01:15:21.000 You're a Nazi if you oppose Drag Queen Story Hour.

01:15:26.000 Are you worried about pedophilia in your town?

01:15:28.000 Are you worried about sexualizing children, you Nazi? 0.95

01:15:33.000 Look.

01:15:40.000 Just like I say in the intro, look at these fucking losers. 1.00

01:15:47.000 This is kind of old.

01:15:48.000 This BLM lunatic, which is part and parcel of Antifa, he gets BLM arsonist Ayub Tabri, who's not a citizen. 0.92

01:15:59.000 He's here on, I don't know, Visa, green card.

01:16:01.000 He's sentenced to not a year, just one day under a year, because if it was a year, it would affect his immigration status.

01:16:09.000 Oh.

01:16:10.000 So the feds asked him to come under 46 months.

01:16:14.000 So they said, no problem.

01:16:16.000 I wouldn't want to mess with an arsonist's immigration status. 1.00

01:16:19.000 That would be mean.

01:16:21.000 Like what?

01:16:22.000 We should do a whole show on our justice system. 0.94

01:16:25.000 It's based on race. 0.69

01:16:28.000 It's based on politics.

01:16:30.000 It's based on tears.

01:16:32.000 It's based on shit you mumbled on the phone.

01:16:35.000 It's not based on the law.

01:16:36.000 It's not based on evidence.

01:16:38.000 We just had a whole kangaroo court called a committee where the other side couldn't represent themselves.

01:16:44.000 They started their own trial.

01:16:46.000 And we see this too with academia, where the universities will say, well, we can't kick this guy out because he didn't do anything illegal or wrong.

01:16:52.000 So they have their own little mini hearings, just like an animal house.

01:16:56.000 That animal house joke was meant to be an exaggeration, and now it's totally normal. 0.97

01:17:01.000 Kangaroo courts are popping up all over the country where random people act as judge, jury, and executioner.

01:17:09.000 And then lastly, Antifa Broads are a fucking nightmare.

01:17:13.000 4-3.

01:17:16.000 So this chick, she's called, go back up again, Alyssa Eleanor Azhar. 0.99

01:17:22.000 Alyssa Azhar, and she's like a Syrian journalist. 0.80

01:17:25.000 And she's constantly whining about Proud Boys attacking her for no reason while she just walks down the street. 0.85

01:17:31.000 But this is what she does.

01:17:32.000 She charges at these people and pepper sprays them in the face. 1.00

01:17:38.000 And then as they're blinded and trying to fight back, they'll accidentally hit her or hit her on purpose.

01:17:43.000 They can't tell if it's a woman. 0.87

01:17:45.000 And then she'll post a picture of herself, like beaten again by these sexist monsters.

01:17:53.000 Again, Pacific Northwest.

01:18:00.000 Ridiculous, isn't it?

01:18:04.000 Oh, good.

01:18:06.000 But what when was that?

01:18:07.000 That's 2021.

01:18:08.000 Yeah, that didn't go anywhere.

01:18:11.000 Alright, let's open the mailbag.

01:18:16.000 Right about now.

01:18:20.000 Right about now.

01:18:35.000 Now we have something unfortunate to announce.

01:18:38.000 I forgot my McPuter.

01:18:41.000 My daughter used to call it a McPuter when she was three.

01:18:44.000 So I call it that forever now.

01:18:50.000 So I've marked with a purple flag what we should discuss, Ryan.

01:18:53.000 So you can read them out, and then I'll have my commentary prepared.

01:18:56.000 So don't read anything that's not purple flagged and start at the top.

01:19:00.000 This is a Nita Fashion suit, by the way.

01:19:04.000 The interiors are some of the best parts of these.

01:19:06.000 And when you go to NitaFashions.com, you choose the buttons and where the pockets go.

01:19:12.000 It's not like they just randomly throw a suit together.

01:19:16.000 Everything is to your specs.

01:19:20.000 Uh-oh.

01:19:21.000 This guy is critiquing or criticizing Mr. Buckley, our guest of yesterday.

01:19:27.000 Okay?

01:19:29.000 This man writes, hey homos, while I think your guest is a smart dude, I think he's missing the mark, right? 1.00

01:19:36.000 Yunk it is garbage.

01:19:37.000 He was the same swampy Republican until the Daily Wire exposed the kid rape shit, right?

01:19:44.000 Then he gets in and goes back to his spineless ways.

01:19:46.000 He wouldn't even enforce the law when protesters were outside the justices' homes.

01:19:51.000 While a lot of these America-first politicians are over the top, I would much rather have one of those.

01:19:57.000 The GOP has sat idly by while the left has corrupted everything about this country.

01:20:03.000 And maybe even some gets Trump types to the right would be good.

01:20:08.000 That's what we need.

01:20:09.000 We obviously need a pit bull. 1.00

01:20:10.000 And Coulter talked about this all the time, how Mitt Romney would just roll over every time he got shot on.

01:20:16.000 And Trump would get, hey, Huffington Post said they're only reporting on you in the entertainment section because you're not real politics.

01:20:24.000 And he's like, Adriana Huffington, your husband dumped you for a man, did he not?

01:20:30.000 I think he made the right choice.

01:20:32.000 That's what we need.

01:20:33.000 Matt gets that Josh, what's his name, Wall?

01:20:36.000 Holly, Josh, who said, what's a woman?

01:20:41.000 Someone like that.

01:20:42.000 Someone edgy.

01:20:44.000 And I'm not saying that because I like that.

01:20:46.000 I'm saying that because we absolutely need that.

01:20:50.000 Like, no one else can handle these corrupt assholes.

01:20:52.000 We're basically dealing with Antifa.

01:20:54.000 I mean, I said earlier that these middle-class, normal PR moms are working with Antifa and doxing people. 1.00

01:21:01.000 And it's the same with AOC, Ilhan Omar, Nancy Pelosi.

01:21:05.000 She's all on the same page as the radical left.

01:21:08.000 So if you're going to get someone in there, they've got to be radical right.

01:21:11.000 Sorry, I didn't make the rules.

01:21:15.000 The next one is a funny video that I think we might like by Clifford.

01:21:22.000 But yeah, this is the problem with scaring people in New York.

01:21:26.000 They're constantly on edge.

01:21:34.000 I like how he's got it on his cam.

01:21:42.000 Again, we're told in boxing that a right hook is rebotant, but it sure seems effective to me.

01:21:48.000 I guess he left himself vulnerable.

01:21:50.000 You don't have to worry about leaving yourself open when your opponent has no arms.

01:21:55.000 Next.

01:21:56.000 Okay, the next one is...

01:21:59.000 Sorry to say, but Gavin is retarded. 1.00

01:22:02.000 Jesus, dude, do you know anything?

01:22:04.000 Wheel whale weights?

01:22:05.000 It's just wheel weights, and they have nothing to do with your tire pressure.

01:22:10.000 They balance the wheels so your car doesn't shake at high speeds.

01:22:13.000 Have you ever heard of getting your car aligned and balanced?

01:22:16.000 The balance refers to your tires being balanced, and then he calls you a very mean name.

01:22:22.000 I can take it, Don.

01:22:24.000 Calls you a fucking moron.

01:22:26.000 Wow.

01:22:28.000 You said you could take it, but look at your face.

01:22:29.000 It looks like you're very hurt.

01:22:31.000 I didn't know it was going to be that bad.

01:22:32.000 I told you it was bad.

01:22:33.000 I wouldn't, even if it was a softball, I would throw it.

01:22:36.000 Did you ever see that Kean Peele sketch where they have this crippled burn victim?

01:22:40.000 Did we talk about that?

01:22:41.000 Oh, yeah, I've seen that.

01:22:41.000 Yeah, I think we watched that on the show.

01:22:43.000 And he's like, I can take it.

01:22:44.000 And then he makes a few jokes about him, and everyone goes, oh, and the guy's crying.

01:22:47.000 He said, you told me you could take it.

01:22:48.000 And he goes, I thought I could.

01:22:49.000 Oh, he's got a voice thing.

01:22:51.000 Like, I thought I could, but I can't.

01:22:56.000 This one is about the tour de France.

01:22:58.000 Did we see this?

01:22:59.000 Oh, this is fucking cool.

01:23:02.000 This makes me love French people.

01:23:06.000 At least French kids. 0.88

01:23:08.000 So they're motor crossing over the gap.

01:23:10.000 And the jump they made is insane.

01:23:14.000 Every time I think of France's sort of DNA, I realize whenever we talk about the original caveman, they always seem to be from France.

01:23:22.000 I think it's the oldest white people in the world.

01:23:25.000 Whoa.

01:23:30.000 Great video.

01:23:31.000 Thanks for that.

01:23:32.000 This goes a lot faster when you're doing it.

01:23:34.000 Of course.

01:23:37.000 Of course it does.

01:23:38.000 Your face is twitching a bit.

01:23:39.000 You're starting to look like Hellboy when he was Beauty and the Beast.

01:23:44.000 Oh, right, right.

01:23:45.000 Wow, what a classic, right?

01:23:47.000 Very good.

01:23:48.000 We loved it.

01:23:49.000 Or maybe not.

01:23:50.000 I don't know.

01:23:52.000 Not sure where we stand on that.

01:23:54.000 Okay, Eric brings in this.

01:23:56.000 Are you aware of the recent cookery from Battle Tech franchise firing up their top writer to appease a woke Tranny? 0.99

01:24:04.000 Am I supposed to care about some fucking video game now?

01:24:07.000 Have you ever played Battle Tech, Ryan?

01:24:09.000 I don't even know what that is.

01:24:14.000 Imagine the contract that never signed was identified.

01:24:17.000 No directions.

01:24:17.000 So what did they actually do?

01:24:20.000 I don't know.

01:24:20.000 Social justice jackdaws swooped in and penned a few emails to the publishers of Battletech Atops and Fanatics, the people above Catalyst Game Labs.

01:24:29.000 A four-decade career in writing came crashing down in an instant, and one of the foremost voices in Battletech fiction was silence.

01:24:37.000 Gotta put this, folks.

01:24:39.000 Oh, yes.

01:24:39.000 Fuck this.

01:24:41.000 Pardo's politics never once colored his creative output for Fossa or Catalyst or interfered with his demonstration.

01:24:47.000 look, I sympathize with you.

01:24:48.000 That is called censored.tv.

01:24:50.000 I hate seeing people get canceled, but knowing about this, knowing the writer of your video game and talking about video games with such authority, just it brings me down worse than a call to Sylvia.

01:25:04.000 Sure.

01:25:05.000 Now, listen, this guy is a funny guy, great guy.

01:25:08.000 You're familiar with this guy?

01:25:09.000 Yeah, he's a big fan of yours.

01:25:11.000 Oh.

01:25:12.000 Okay.

01:25:13.000 And he does great videos, but frankly, I tried to have him on the show, but the only communication I could reach him on was Facebook.

01:25:20.000 And then they booted my ass off, so the trail has run cold.

01:25:24.000 I've got some fake Facebook things I can send you.

01:25:27.000 That'd be great.

01:25:28.000 Daughter born on 420.

01:25:30.000 Line it up, right?

01:25:32.000 And they want to thank you or something like that.

01:25:34.000 Wow.

01:25:34.000 Beautiful.

01:25:35.000 Oh, they're watching the show.

01:25:36.000 Cool.

01:25:37.000 I like your pillow.

01:25:38.000 Wait, are they watching the zoom in on his glasses?

01:25:40.000 Well, no, I read all these letters before.

01:25:42.000 They told me they were.

01:25:43.000 Okay, he's got a Budweiser pillow.

01:25:45.000 He's a friendly.

01:25:47.000 Next.

01:25:48.000 Next letter.

01:25:49.000 That's what we call it.

01:25:50.000 We call it a letter, right?

01:25:51.000 Because you could read it.

01:25:52.000 You could write it.

01:25:55.000 CPS and child trafficking.

01:25:57.000 Hi, Gavin and Ryan.

01:25:58.000 A journalist decided to actually do some reporting on child trafficking in CPS and other government agencies and did a documentary.

01:26:06.000 I've never...

01:26:07.000 Show the documentary.

01:26:08.000 I haven't watched it yet.

01:26:08.000 I briefly peruse it.

01:26:10.000 I'm going to watch it on my own time, but I'm happy to promote these kind of things.

01:26:14.000 It looks pretty well done.

01:26:16.000 It's called These Little Ones, World Premier.

01:26:18.000 So if you go to Stu Peters Network, oh wow, Stu Peters.

01:26:22.000 He was the guy that had the controversy around him because he called out MTG at FPAC.

01:26:28.000 Remember that?

01:26:28.000 And everybody was like, Stu Peters, you're a loser.

01:26:31.000 Barry Crane, remember him?

01:26:33.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:26:35.000 That was the guy.

01:26:36.000 He kind of is booted from America first, as far as at least their respect goes.

01:26:42.000 Because he came up there and he just shat on Marjorie Taylor Greene, his whole, not his whole speech, but a lot of his speech.

01:26:47.000 Sure.

01:26:47.000 And we're all sitting there going, dude, she had the balls to come out here and risk her career.

01:26:51.000 And it was a shitstorm for her.

01:26:53.000 But she braids it anyway.

01:26:55.000 And now you're like, she's a bitch. 1.00

01:26:56.000 She's a rhino. 1.00

01:26:57.000 Fuck her. 1.00

01:26:58.000 What does he look like again?

01:26:59.000 Show me Stu Peters.

01:27:00.000 He's a rapper.

01:27:00.000 Remember he did raps?

01:27:02.000 He did a lot of things like that.

01:27:03.000 Rap?

01:27:04.000 Yes, he's a rapper.

01:27:05.000 Stu.

01:27:06.000 I'm so sick of white rappers and their fake black accent.

01:27:09.000 Fucking up words they know how to pronounce.

01:27:12.000 It's so irritating.

01:27:13.000 And last I checked, you know, Nick wasn't going to kick him off the platform or anything.

01:27:18.000 He was just like, you know, we just don't like him very much.

01:27:29.000 Is this his rap?

01:27:31.000 Yeah.

01:27:32.000 Uh-oh.

01:27:42.000 Just wasted.

01:27:48.000 Looks like Rob Deerdeck.

01:27:49.000 He's about to show me some funny videos, right?

01:27:53.000 Is that Chanel Far East Coast?

01:27:59.000 No regrets, right?

01:28:01.000 Some people say to be nice, specifically when you bow, when you're faded at night.

01:28:06.000 Drunk both type of man to pay for your flight.

01:28:10.000 I hear this on the videos right.

01:28:13.000 Dog talking to record labels, investors, promoters.

01:28:16.000 The future hope real bright for folks.

01:28:18.000 Yo, this is the best.

01:28:21.000 I'm talking Grammys and Oscars at the time for football.

01:28:24.000 I'm in the ring with them boxers. 1.00

01:28:26.000 They're going to know the name Stewart Peters from the grassroots meeting.

01:28:29.000 It does look exactly like Rydeck.

01:28:31.000 It's crazy.

01:28:32.000 I'm finally going to live that dream.

01:28:34.000 It's worth the thin times that went.

01:28:36.000 It's worth being a rapper to get to fuck her, I guess. 1.00

01:28:38.000 Next letter, let's do a couple more.

01:28:40.000 Yes, we're very sorry to show you that ridiculousness.

01:28:44.000 Wink.

01:28:45.000 Okay, let's get serious.

01:28:47.000 Doug says, remember that?

01:28:48.000 A wing wigger. 1.00

01:28:49.000 A right wigger. 1.00

01:28:50.000 A rigger.

01:28:51.000 Right?

01:28:51.000 Rigger action.

01:28:53.000 Remember?

01:28:54.000 Rigger? 1.00

01:28:54.000 Remember that? 1.00

01:28:55.000 A right wing wigger. 1.00

01:28:56.000 No, I have a wigger. 0.52

01:28:58.000 A hotel rowiger.

01:29:01.000 Boy, that's too close.

01:29:03.000 Remember that video of the guys kicking the shit out of that woman in the staircase and stepping over her?

01:29:08.000 Well, somebody's been arrested for the attack.

01:29:10.000 You know, I've got somebody that reached out to me and they wanted to see some more info about this, and I didn't have any, so I just sent more examples of the same thing kind of happening.

01:29:19.000 So I looked this guy up.

01:29:20.000 He is black.

01:29:21.000 Oh, no kidding.

01:29:23.000 It was the way the video was sort of blown out, and maybe someone else did that on purpose.

01:29:28.000 We've seen that happen before, right?

01:29:30.000 I'm getting a Trump accent.

01:29:32.000 We've seen that happen before, right?

01:29:34.000 Very, very sad.

01:29:36.000 Many times.

01:29:37.000 Very sad.

01:29:38.000 Sad stuff.

01:29:38.000 They'll take the picture, though.

01:29:39.000 They lighten it up so he looks like a white guy.

01:29:42.000 It's the media.

01:29:42.000 Our media and our justice system.

01:29:46.000 So, yeah, a Springfield man was arrested for the money.

01:29:49.000 Yeah, but I don't think his picture's in that article.

01:29:52.000 But if you look up his name, he is a black man.

01:29:56.000 Well, they don't even mention his name in here, huh?

01:29:58.000 No, they mention his name?

01:30:00.000 In this article?

01:30:01.000 Uh-huh.

01:30:03.000 Where?

01:30:03.000 I was smart enough to get into it by just putting in a fake email.

01:30:07.000 Oh, I see.

01:30:08.000 Okay.

01:30:09.000 You're not, unfortunately.

01:30:10.000 Well, I don't have the time.

01:30:12.000 Yeah?

01:30:13.000 This one's pretty long.

01:30:14.000 Are we going to...

01:30:15.000 Oh, wife's leaving. 1.00

01:30:17.000 Wow.

01:30:18.000 This one I probably shouldn't read as Trump.

01:30:20.000 That's a little...

01:30:21.000 No, read it.

01:30:21.000 It's a good one.

01:30:22.000 Okay.

01:30:23.000 Oh, as Trump, I see.

01:30:24.000 As Trump?

01:30:25.000 No, don't read it as Trump.

01:30:26.000 Well, it doesn't matter.

01:30:27.000 Or not with a wig on, I guess.

01:30:28.000 Well, the wig's fine.

01:30:30.000 Yeah, let's have a four-hour meeting about it.

01:30:33.000 Hey, G-Dog, sly guy, and baby monster.

01:30:35.000 My wife and I have been fans for years.

01:30:37.000 Your advice was a big part of my decision to grow up, put a ring on it.

01:30:39.000 We dated for three years.

01:30:40.000 We're engaged for one.

01:30:41.000 And we just had our two-year anniversary.

01:30:43.000 There's only one problem.

01:30:44.000 We got married when I was 28 and she was 30.

01:30:48.000 Two years of miscarriage.

01:30:50.000 Ooh, and a little over $2 million in fertility treatments later. 1.00

01:30:54.000 $2 million?

01:30:56.000 She's done.

01:30:56.000 She doesn't have another six-sile in her.

01:31:01.000 Cycle?

01:31:02.000 Well, it might be spelt wrong.

01:31:04.000 Yeah, cycle in her. 0.73

01:31:04.000 But she knows how much I want kids, and I feel about, you know, how I feel about people who opt out. 0.73

01:31:10.000 She says that when she looks at me, she wants to die.

01:31:12.000 I love this girl.

01:31:13.000 I would stay even if she said she never wanted kids.

01:31:16.000 She says I have to go, and it's been months of this, so it's just not a mood.

01:31:21.000 Bye-bye.

01:31:22.000 My question is, if she stays gone, all will having children with someone else be enough to make this trying again worth it?

01:31:30.000 Do you believe the grammar we get?

01:31:32.000 I thought I was rich enough to blow $2 million on something, and that's how he writes English. 0.83

01:31:38.000 Let's see.

01:31:39.000 From where I'm sitting, it's hard to imagine it being worth trying again with someone else.

01:31:43.000 Tell me I'm right or change my mind.

01:31:45.000 Sorry, it's so big.

01:31:46.000 I like your new sunglasses in Dallas, Drew.

01:31:48.000 So I've been thinking about this a lot, and I say, let her go.

01:31:52.000 Like, sometimes I would say adopt.

01:31:53.000 It sounds like you guys obviously would have considered that, but you're not doing it.

01:31:57.000 So you should leave the one, the woman you love.

01:32:02.000 I'm sorry, but when the beauty of being a man is you could start as late as 35.

01:32:09.000 It's not ideal, right?

01:32:10.000 I don't know how old he is now.

01:32:11.000 He was 28.

01:32:12.000 How long have they been together for?

01:32:14.000 Two years and engaged one.

01:32:17.000 So he's like early 30s.

01:32:20.000 Find someone else.

01:32:21.000 Find someone young.

01:32:22.000 Find someone in their early to mid-20s.

01:32:25.000 You'll have four or five kids.

01:32:26.000 And then you'll look back with all these kids and you won't go, damn it.

01:32:32.000 I wish I had stuck with the one who can't, who has a barren womb. 1.00

01:32:36.000 It's horrific.

01:32:38.000 It's sad.

01:32:39.000 I know couples that tried and they couldn't do it and they stayed together and that's fine too because they're in love.

01:32:46.000 But I know a dude whose wife had cancer and she managed to beat it.

01:32:52.000 They wanted to have more kids and the risk was the fertility drugs could bring back her cancer. 1.00

01:33:00.000 And they both sort of went, let's do it.

01:33:04.000 And so they took the fertility drugs.

01:33:07.000 She had two more kids and died of cancer.

01:33:10.000 And they both sort of made the decision.

01:33:13.000 Actually, I know him, not her, that well.

01:33:14.000 So I'm assuming she was in on it.

01:33:16.000 But they realized that me dying to make two more kids is worth it.

01:33:22.000 I know this is heavy shit, but like we're talking about you not having kids or you taking a woman's best years. 0.99

01:33:30.000 Like you marry, you meet a girl at 26, you dump her at 32. 0.61

01:33:34.000 You've just committed mass murder.

01:33:37.000 She's not going to have three kids.

01:33:39.000 Those three kids aren't going to have three kids. 0.55

01:33:40.000 Those three kids aren't going to, it keeps going on until you prevented the lives of, I don't know, when do you end it?

01:33:46.000 Millions?

01:33:48.000 You're Mao.

01:33:49.000 You're Stalin.

01:33:49.000 You're Hitler.

01:33:51.000 You're literally Hitler. 0.67

01:33:52.000 I was walking around Gazdav the other night and I realized as much as I bitch about these assholes who ruined a woman's best years, I've done it twice now. 0.99

01:34:02.000 Yeah.

01:34:03.000 I can think of two girls where I got them at...

01:34:06.000 I wasn't with them forever, but yeah, one of them I was with them for basically 25 to 31 and then was like, and that's horrific that I did that.

01:34:16.000 Yeah, I can relate.

01:34:18.000 It's really tough, you know, to forgive yourself or something like that.

01:34:22.000 But you just hope that she moves on and you have to.

01:34:28.000 And you let her go.

01:34:37.000 And neither of those girls have had kids.

01:34:39.000 So while I sit here and call you Hitler, I'm Hitler too. 0.88

01:34:43.000 Don't take that out of context.

01:34:44.000 And it's a big, it's a bad thing.

01:34:46.000 I guess that's all I really want to get across is that we recognize that that's bad.

01:34:51.000 It's bad to let a woman's ovaries dry up. 1.00

01:34:53.000 I've done it.

01:34:54.000 And if you've done it, you should be ashamed.

01:34:57.000 Because I'm ashamed.

01:34:58.000 It's not a good thing.

01:35:00.000 Not good.

01:35:01.000 Never good.

01:35:03.000 Anyway, let's lighten things up here with the final vid.

01:35:19.000 Kind of shows you how easy it was to make early Beastie Boys songs, right?

01:35:24.000 Yeah, it's a little insulting to them.

01:35:26.000 Pretty simple.

01:35:27.000 I don't want this, the ones from the notes.

01:35:29.000 I want the one I sent you later on.

01:35:32.000 Oh, I got it.

01:35:34.000 I got it in a big way.

01:35:36.000 We're trying to get across it.

01:35:37.000 Life is precious.

01:35:39.000 And I'm not against these sort of crazy extreme sports.

01:35:45.000 I get it.

01:35:46.000 It's exciting to stare the God of death in the face.

01:35:50.000 But there's one thing it shows you.

01:35:52.000 It's how tenuous it is.

01:35:55.000 Like, if you keep tempting fate, sometimes fate might want to tempt you back.

01:36:04.000 Look at that.

01:36:07.000 Looking good?

01:36:08.000 Oh, no, that's spinning too much.

01:36:09.000 Wait.

01:36:10.000 Oh, now it goes inside out and he gets in it.

01:36:13.000 Now, here's the scary part.

01:36:15.000 It's got like a million cords.

01:36:18.000 Look at that.

01:36:19.000 It's dozens of different cables.

01:36:21.000 How the fuck are you going to untangle yourself from that?

01:36:26.000 How could you possibly if you were sitting on the ground?

01:36:29.000 It looks like it's about an hour of untangling to go.

01:36:31.000 Meanwhile, you're plumbing towards Earth.

01:36:33.000 Last option, rip it off.

01:36:35.000 One second left.

01:36:40.000 So I don't understand what rip it off means.

01:36:42.000 It looks like it's still on him.

01:36:46.000 So I guess he had a backup?

01:36:48.000 Turn it up.

01:36:49.000 You got to hear when he lands.

01:36:54.000 Oh my god.

01:36:57.000 Wow, man.

01:36:59.000 Looks like the wires that connect your balls to whatever they're connected to.

01:37:02.000 Yeah.

01:37:03.000 Those are veins.

01:37:05.000 Oh.

01:37:07.000 Yeah.

01:37:08.000 I mean, it's funny how we all sort of shrug and talk about how life means nothing and just babies not being born and people almost dying all around us.

01:37:20.000 This is real, motherfuckers.

01:37:22.000 Get off your phone.

01:37:23.000 Stop playing video games.

01:37:25.000 Stop pretending.

01:37:26.000 Stop watching TV.

01:37:27.000 Get away from screens.

01:37:28.000 Real life is going on.

01:37:30.000 Real babies are being born and not being born. 0.99

01:37:33.000 We have a president who's dead.

01:37:35.000 We have a dead president.

01:37:36.000 They talk about how money is dead presidents.

01:37:38.000 Look at our president.

01:37:40.000 He passed away probably about three years ago.

01:37:45.000 We're living in a zombie movie.

01:37:48.000 And it's all because of Kid Rock.

01:37:50.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

01:38:13.000 May God protect our troops.

01:38:15.000 Great.

01:38:18.000 Maker's Rocks, hold the rocks.

01:38:22.000 Do you mind changing the channel a little bit?

01:38:29.000 Retard. 1.00

01:38:38.000 I'm so sick of life, lying to myself.

01:38:43.000 No need to hide.

01:38:45.000 Don't give a fuck about somebody else.

01:38:48.000 I don't need any guidance.

01:38:50.000 I'll go my way.

01:38:57.000 I'm not afraid to walk alone.

01:39:00.000 My Lord Jesus never known.

01:39:02.000 I can feel it in my bones.

01:39:05.000 This is my life.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - August 02, 2022

S4E150 - CRYING IN COURT

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Summary

Transcript