Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S4E153 - PUSSY RIOT

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness.

00:00:23.000 I love and detrust you, utterly abhorred you.

00:00:26.000 I wish I'd been around to tell your mother to abhor you.

00:00:30.000 I wanna have fun.

00:00:33.000 I wanna look at you, I need you, look at what you want.

00:00:37.000 I wanna have fun, I wanna look at you, money, need to look at you.

00:00:45.000 Making all the messages feeling.

00:00:49.000 It's so funny when you wait.

00:00:51.000 I wanna have fun.

00:00:53.000 I wanna get you, funny, nice and make you cry. 0.55

00:00:58.000 That's a feminist anthem by the Russian activists Pussy Riot. 1.00

00:01:03.000 They want to hate fuck me, put me on my knees, peg me, I guess, spank my bum.

00:01:09.000 The video has a lot of men being beaten.

00:01:12.000 And it's a weird kind of feminism, this global feminism. 1.00

00:01:19.000 Like here in America, what should feminists be concerned with? 1.00

00:01:24.000 I guess lesbians cutting their tits off is the only cause I would bother with if I was a rampant American feminist. 1.00

00:01:35.000 In Islam, whole of their ball of wax. 1.00

00:01:38.000 In other third world countries, I don't know.

00:01:41.000 You probably do horrible stuff there.

00:01:43.000 And these guys being Russian, I don't know what goes on over there. 1.00

00:01:46.000 Their big things are they hate the Russian Orthodox Church.

00:01:49.000 Okay.

00:01:51.000 I don't know much about the Russian Orthodox Church, but I like church.

00:01:53.000 I like Christianity.

00:01:55.000 They hate Putin.

00:01:56.000 Don't know much about him.

00:01:58.000 He seems very unpopular with the people I hate, so that makes me like him, but maybe he's a jerk.

00:02:04.000 And then they hate the police.

00:02:07.000 I like the police here in the West, but I don't know what your police get up to.

00:02:10.000 Maybe they rape you on a regular basis. 1.00

00:02:13.000 So it's, it's, and this is sort of crossover now.

00:02:17.000 They're popular here in America, and everyone backs them because they hate Putin and they hate cops.

00:02:22.000 But you can't be international with your politics, especially if it's social and pop culture related.

00:02:30.000 Look, they're cutting.

00:02:32.000 The common symbol with them is to like a knife in an eggplant, which to Italians is very racist.

00:02:38.000 They want to kill blacks, I guess. 0.99

00:02:40.000 Chop black dicks off. 1.00

00:02:41.000 Moulin Yan.

00:02:42.000 Hey, I like those pussy riot chicks. 1.00

00:02:45.000 There, they're riding a dick. 0.91

00:02:48.000 Isn't it weird?

00:02:50.000 Like, to be a feminist in America is silly. 1.00

00:02:53.000 To be a feminist in Tehran or Pakistan is fucking brave. 0.96

00:03:02.000 Like, I'm in awe of you if you're a Muslim feminist. 1.00

00:03:06.000 Remember that girl who's on the cover of Time? 0.61

00:03:09.000 She got acid thrown in her face for saying I'd like to go to school?

00:03:13.000 Malawi or something?

00:03:15.000 But they're doing this weird, cutesy, Americanized music and activism.

00:03:21.000 And you're like, I don't, I can't comment.

00:03:24.000 This is why I don't give a shit about the non-Western world. 0.99

00:03:26.000 Mudslide in Sri Lanka.

00:03:28.000 Sorry.

00:03:29.000 Sucks to be you.

00:03:29.000 I don't know what your shit is like.

00:03:33.000 Look at this other song, Classic.

00:03:35.000 I know this isn't what you want, and I'm sorry.

00:03:38.000 This song is a totally American song about how we want women to be plastic, little dolls. 0.99

00:03:45.000 And you're watching it going, uh, we did.

00:03:49.000 That's not a thing anymore.

00:03:52.000 Like, is that a Stepford wives thing? 1.00

00:03:55.000 Who wants a woman in 2022 in America to be plastic, a dolly? 1.00

00:04:00.000 That's a really juvenile way of seeing things.

00:04:02.000 Maybe in the 60s, you could argue that.

00:04:04.000 Maybe even in the 70s in the suburbs.

00:04:10.000 That chick that is the Barbie doll now is so fucking hot, you're going to poop yourself. 1.00

00:04:28.000 Once again, women take everything political and they just make it into silly fashion. 1.00

00:04:38.000 Look how hot she is. 1.00

00:04:40.000 I know she's covered in makeup.

00:04:42.000 Oh, shoot, I don't have her YouTube here.

00:04:44.000 I mean, her Instagram.

00:04:48.000 And then they try.

00:04:50.000 Anderson Cooper has them on.

00:04:51.000 He sees all this.

00:04:52.000 He sees two of the pussy rot girls are in jail because they went to the Russian Orthodox Church and they like pulled their tits out and rubbed blood on themselves. 1.00

00:05:00.000 And their thing was, we hate that the Russian Orthodox Church is in bed with Putin and they helped influence the election. 0.98

00:05:06.000 Okay.

00:05:08.000 Like, do I back you?

00:05:10.000 Or I don't know.

00:05:11.000 I don't like women being naked at church and rubbing blood all over themselves and desecrating Christian churches, but maybe the Christian churches over there are full of shit. 1.00

00:05:22.000 We cannot get involved.

00:05:23.000 Sorry.

00:05:24.000 Find her Instagram, though.

00:05:25.000 Let's just simp out on how hot she is and ignore the politics because we don't have enough context. 1.00

00:05:32.000 And by the way.

00:05:34.000 Of course.

00:05:34.000 Yeah.

00:05:36.000 Yeah.

00:05:36.000 Doy.

00:05:38.000 But just click on Pussy Riot in general. 1.00

00:05:41.000 We hate Russian soldiers.

00:05:43.000 And no, no, no, Ryan, just go to the main screen there.

00:05:47.000 This chick. 1.00

00:05:49.000 Wait.

00:05:49.000 No, you're wrong again.

00:05:51.000 Main screen, pussy riot. 0.92

00:05:52.000 Okay, just calm down.

00:05:54.000 I want to see the grid.

00:05:55.000 Okay, grid. 0.63

00:05:58.000 That's too much makeup.

00:05:59.000 I want to show you her without tons of... 0.91

00:06:01.000 Those girls are the ones that are arrested. 1.00

00:06:03.000 She seems to be the only one out.

00:06:06.000 Those girls are the ones who were, you know, titting up the church. 0.99

00:06:11.000 We don't need to see them, though.

00:06:12.000 I want to show you this chick. 1.00

00:06:14.000 Yeah, that one.

00:06:16.000 Look at that, fucking babe. 1.00

00:06:20.000 That's a 10.

00:06:21.000 That's a 10.

00:06:21.000 That's a 10 at a 10.

00:06:24.000 Look at that.

00:06:25.000 How could you improve upon that?

00:06:27.000 That makes me want to move to Russia.

00:06:29.000 Be queer, do crime. 1.00

00:06:30.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:06:32.000 She looks very South American.

00:06:35.000 Yeah, but I heard her in an interview. 1.00

00:06:36.000 She's definitely Russian.

00:06:38.000 Wait, wait, wait.

00:06:38.000 Don't rush me.

00:06:39.000 Don't mount Rushmore me.

00:06:41.000 Look at that one.

00:06:42.000 The one I'm hovering on?

00:06:43.000 Yes.

00:06:44.000 Okay, let's see.

00:06:45.000 There she is with big fat lady. 1.00

00:06:47.000 There she is with McCain who abandoned his family because he was a terrible military guy in a lot of ways.

00:06:58.000 But it changed me.

00:07:00.000 It actually gave me bigger belief in humanity because I've seen how many people are ready to support those who they never saw in life, who they have no direct connection to.

00:07:13.000 And we were receiving letters when we were serving our two years in jail in labor camps from all around the world.

00:07:22.000 Whatever shows your tits. 1.00

00:07:27.000 So that's my new favorite chick, Nadia Tolokanikova. 0.68

00:07:34.000 But I don't think...

00:07:35.000 Oh, look, she does her own do's and don'ts. 1.00

00:07:38.000 That's something in common, you guys.

00:07:40.000 Yeah, we can bond.

00:07:42.000 Check out her talking to Anderson Cooper, who's tripping over himself.

00:07:48.000 This is 1-3.

00:07:52.000 The wrath of Vladimir Putin firsthand is Nadia Tola Kunikova, a founding member of the Russian protest group Pussy Riot.

00:07:58.000 She was sentenced to death after an anti-Putin performance.

00:08:02.000 She joins me now for the first time here in New York.

00:08:04.000 It's so cool to actually meet you.

00:08:05.000 We've only talked over satellite and stuff.

00:08:07.000 Amazing comediate.

00:08:08.000 Yeah.

00:08:09.000 So when you look at the war in Ukraine, I mean, obviously there were huge failure.

00:08:15.000 What's going on here?

00:08:17.000 No, you know.

00:08:18.000 You're confusing lust with this burning desire to be cool that the establishment left has.

00:08:24.000 That's why you see like that woman with the goat, the devil goat blood rituals. 1.00

00:08:29.000 You know, the one?

00:08:30.000 Yeah.

00:08:30.000 All that satanic shit.

00:08:32.000 Abramovich.

00:08:33.000 It's not because they're satanic.

00:08:35.000 It's because they were nerds their whole lives and they finally have money and power and what do they want to do with it?

00:08:39.000 Be cool.

00:08:40.000 That was why Shane was so successful with Vice Media because he would invite these CEOs to parties.

00:08:47.000 And the rest of us, after the meeting was done, we were like, let's get the fuck out of here.

00:08:51.000 But, you know, if there was, I remember, I think Battaclan happened or no, it was before that.

00:08:56.000 There was some sort of disaster in Paris.

00:08:59.000 And Shane would be like, hey, man, are you okay?

00:09:01.000 You can come by our chateau if you want to relax.

00:09:04.000 It sounds like some crazy shit's going down.

00:09:05.000 And they're like, holy shit.

00:09:07.000 The cool guys are texting me on a Saturday.

00:09:10.000 I'm in the in crowd.

00:09:12.000 I'm a somebody.

00:09:13.000 I'm not just a nerd with money.

00:09:14.000 And that's why he'd get them to sign contracts.

00:09:16.000 He pretended to like them.

00:09:18.000 And Anderson Cooper here has finally got to sit down with a cool Russian feminist anarcho-rebellion woman. 1.00

00:09:26.000 And he's not a nerd for two seconds.

00:09:28.000 But yes, you are.

00:09:44.000 What do you see Vladimir Putin's position, how do you see it right now?

00:09:48.000 Is he stronger than ever in Russia?

00:09:52.000 I don't feel it like that.

00:09:54.000 A lot of experts inside of Russia, they propose to divide this war in two stages, and some people talk of it in about two wars.

00:10:05.000 So the first were Putin has lost it because he wanted to capture Kyiv really quickly.

00:10:13.000 That was they thought they could do in 12 hours or so, and obviously did not.

00:10:17.000 And there are multiple hackers from Billing Hat and other agencies there to try to capture what Russians were talking with each other about.

00:10:28.000 Right, that's it.

00:10:28.000 I'm a feminist.

00:10:30.000 Pussy Riot wins.

00:10:31.000 Fuck Putin.

00:10:33.000 I'm for whatever she's for.

00:10:35.000 Nadia.

00:10:37.000 Let's just fucking start the show.

00:10:39.000 We've got too much to cover today.

00:10:41.000 So little time.

00:10:43.000 That's a good point.

00:10:44.000 And this is a good moment to embrace feminism. 1.00

00:10:48.000 But first, I want to bring the monster truck out.

00:10:50.000 Of course.

00:10:52.000 Get it out here.

00:11:06.000 Wait a minute.

00:11:07.000 While we're still on that subject, before we really dive into feminism, what happened in the Tower of Babel in the Bible, right?

00:11:14.000 We all got too unified.

00:11:17.000 We all became global homo, and we got so big we were touching heaven and God went, smited us, and then we became other little groups. 0.85

00:11:26.000 That's the way it's supposed to be.

00:11:27.000 That's what's so great about state autonomy.

00:11:29.000 I think mankind was designed to be little mini governments, not one giant one.

00:11:35.000 And that's why global activism doesn't work.

00:11:38.000 So let's focus exclusively on American feminism and what a complete fucking debacle it is. 1.00

00:11:45.000 Ryan, hit the feminist bumper. 1.00

00:11:47.000 Now.

00:11:48.000 Here identifies as a feminist. 1.00

00:11:50.000 We are the storm.

00:11:52.000 The very form of change that the world has been waiting for.

00:11:58.000 You said I was too pretty to fight.

00:12:04.000 That's toxic masculinity if you don't realize how you're behaving.

00:12:10.000 So as we've discussed many times, the establishment left is remarkably incompetent, and they lie to us constantly.

00:12:19.000 We've got Hunter Biden on Air Force One while Trump's Mar-a-Lago is stormed by the FBI, who then turn it into Al Capone's tomb and find absolutely nothing.

00:12:29.000 So they spend the rest of the time dancing around Melania Trump's fucking dressing room, her gigantic closet, trying on various Louis Vuitton shoes.

00:12:40.000 And every time they play their hand, you just go, how are you guys the tyrants taking over the world?

00:12:46.000 Like at least with Putin, he seems like a worthy adversary.

00:12:49.000 Same with all those despots, you know?

00:12:52.000 Fidel Castro, Ehiyamin, Mugabe.

00:12:56.000 They all seem to be powerful.

00:12:59.000 And we have a ship of fools.

00:13:01.000 The lunatics are running the asylum.

00:13:03.000 Look how pathetic this lie is.

00:13:08.000 Pocahontas is on the plane to New Hampshire on the night of the Iowa Caucasus, and she says, Everyone comes up to me and says, I would vote for you if you had a penis. 0.97

00:13:20.000 Not only did no one say that to her, no one has said that to anyone in the world in world history.

00:13:26.000 That sentence is as common as Cheerio's best friend, fire extinguisher, car lover.

00:13:35.000 I think I'm the first person to say that sentence.

00:13:37.000 For every first Gremulite, und mountain, und Geblangudboop.

00:13:42.000 Maybe someone said that.

00:13:44.000 You had to make up a word that kills the whole thing.

00:13:46.000 I just want to be sure.

00:13:48.000 Well, I'm sure with my Cheerios fire extinguisher.

00:13:52.000 Hey, man, I think you're great.

00:13:53.000 I love what you do.

00:13:54.000 I'm a big feminist, but I only vote for people with penises. 1.00

00:13:58.000 That's just the way I am.

00:14:00.000 Click on that article?

00:14:02.000 What the fuck?

00:14:03.000 That is the worst, stupidest, laziest lie.

00:14:07.000 You're going to have to, I almost said apple F. You're going to have to command F to the penis part. 0.98

00:14:12.000 I got to see this quote.

00:14:14.000 I should have pasted it in the notes, but we talked about the dynamics of Iowa, her competitors, and the pressure she put on herself not to screw this up.

00:14:24.000 But here and now, she offered her plainest view of the landscape yet.

00:14:28.000 Everyone comes up to me and says, I would vote for you if you had a penis. 1.00

00:14:32.000 Final line on the article, the slam dunk that seals it all.

00:14:37.000 So the reason Elizabeth Warren is not more successful is because she doesn't have a phallus. 1.00

00:14:45.000 If she was a man, she'd be kicking ass and taking names. 1.00

00:14:48.000 And the irony is that's the opposite.

00:14:51.000 The reason she's there is because she's a woman. 1.00

00:14:53.000 She is milking affirmative action. 0.92

00:14:55.000 In fact, she tried to milk it more by pretending to be an Indian. 0.97

00:15:02.000 And the media swallows it.

00:15:03.000 Hook, line, and sinker.

00:15:05.000 Oh, that happened on your flight?

00:15:07.000 Everyone said they wish she had a penis. 1.00

00:15:09.000 Okay.

00:15:10.000 That's going to bookend my article.

00:15:12.000 That's going to be how I fucking peace out at the end.

00:15:15.000 Because I believe you, and I don't question anything.

00:15:18.000 Because I'm not a journalist.

00:15:19.000 I'm an activist.

00:15:20.000 And this is a PR firm.

00:15:23.000 The media is a PR firm.

00:15:26.000 And they hate Trump.

00:15:27.000 So when Riley Gaines is nervous and in front of a giant audience and Trump goes like this, she doesn't like go, okay, I don't want to.

00:15:36.000 So she sort of goes, okay, this is the greeting.

00:15:40.000 And the media goes, that was so awkward.

00:15:42.000 You know why it was so awkward?

00:15:44.000 Not because she's a swimmer who had the balls to speak up and is nervous because half the world loves the shit out of her.

00:15:52.000 And when I say world, I mean West.

00:15:54.000 The other half wants her dead.

00:15:56.000 A lot of tension there.

00:15:58.000 So she does a normal kind of a semi-stiff gesture as she gets on the podium and goes, hi.

00:16:03.000 But what does the media say?

00:16:06.000 Riley Gaines, awkward moment.

00:16:08.000 Trump's kiss attempt on swimmer Riley Gaines creates awkward CPAC moment.

00:16:13.000 Like she's at CPAC.

00:16:15.000 You think she hates Donald Trump?

00:16:17.000 Right.

00:16:19.000 I got to go to CPAC.

00:16:20.000 The only problem was that fucking asshole, greatest conservative in the world, was there.

00:16:29.000 I've ever seen.

00:16:31.000 Come here.

00:16:33.000 Come on up.

00:16:37.000 You may be nervous.

00:16:41.000 She's been so brave, you know, because a lot of people say you can't talk about it.

00:16:45.000 They told me, please don't mention that, sir.

00:16:47.000 It's not politically correct.

00:16:49.000 And I did about three weeks ago.

00:16:50.000 The place went crazy.

00:16:51.000 It was the largest applause I've ever heard.

00:16:53.000 Come on up here.

00:16:54.000 Look at this.

00:16:55.000 Look at this.

00:17:00.000 Okay, gross.

00:17:02.000 I hate you.

00:17:05.000 Like, she's like, I don't know.

00:17:06.000 Should I do this?

00:17:07.000 Do I turn to you?

00:17:09.000 I want this to go smoothly.

00:17:12.000 And then, of course, she sees all this footage about how grossed out she was.

00:17:18.000 1-6.

00:17:19.000 And she goes, I think these recent headlines show, you know, how the media is pushing propaganda to fit their narrative.

00:17:26.000 Gaines told Fox News Digital, by no means, not even for a second on that stage, was I uncomfortable sharing that space with Trump.

00:17:35.000 You know what I think some of it is?

00:17:37.000 The fucking loser nerds who see her, she's obviously the archetypal perfect American girl. 1.00

00:17:43.000 So the beta males who write these liberal articles go, I'll never get her.

00:17:47.000 I hate, that's really why they hate Trump.

00:17:50.000 They hate this sort of cool guy in crowd, alpha male, frat boy, all-American, red-blooded male.

00:17:55.000 They hate that because that guy isn't them.

00:17:58.000 And similarly, when they see the hot blonde, they want to shit on her or at least see her reject others too.

00:18:06.000 And then the fatties who write these articles, they're like, she hates it. 1.00

00:18:10.000 She's in hell.

00:18:11.000 She's not having a great time.

00:18:13.000 There's so much resentment.

00:18:15.000 It's fucking modern media is revenge of the nerds.

00:18:18.000 That's what hatred for Trump is really about.

00:18:21.000 I hate 80s white males.

00:18:25.000 So they're going to arrest him.

00:18:30.000 You know why they're going to arrest him?

00:18:31.000 Like, I'm sitting here saying there's no substance to their allegations, but they actually have a lot of substance.

00:18:37.000 It's not just this petty daddy issues, anti-male shit, anti-toxic masculinity.

00:18:43.000 It's actually based on real crimes.

00:18:45.000 For example, this guy's got a good list of them.

00:18:48.000 Arrest a former president for not turning and doctor.

00:18:50.000 I'm not a former president that had committed this many provable criminal acts.

00:18:55.000 But what are the provable criminal acts, I guess?

00:19:00.000 Provable criminal acts.

00:19:01.000 Well, I'm just, I'm done talking.

00:19:05.000 Is this unprecedented?

00:19:09.000 The guy asking those questions, I think, is a baby monster, by the way, at Newsmax.

00:19:13.000 Nice.

00:19:14.000 1-8.

00:19:15.000 And remember Tish James, the woman who's investigating Trump?

00:19:18.000 I know we're drifting from feminism. 0.95

00:19:19.000 We'll get back to it.

00:19:22.000 And we're like, why is she so obsessed with auditing Trump and bringing Trump to trial and Prosecuting him for some sort of, I don't know, economic crimes. 0.95

00:19:34.000 There's nothing there.

00:19:34.000 He's pleading the fifth, so she's not going to get anything.

00:19:36.000 The reason she's doing that is because that's what she ran on. 0.99

00:19:39.000 That's her entire existence.

00:19:41.000 I'm going to sue Trump.

00:19:46.000 Please sue him.

00:19:48.000 I'm going to be a real idiot.

00:19:50.000 I will never be afraid to challenge this illegitimate president.

00:19:54.000 We need to focus on Donald Trump.

00:19:55.000 We need to follow his money.

00:19:56.000 He's building my soul right now.

00:19:59.000 It's Trump.

00:20:12.000 Is that...

00:20:13.000 That's got to be unprecedented.

00:20:14.000 An attorney general who ran on suing the president.

00:20:18.000 That's definitely never happened before.

00:20:21.000 That's weird.

00:20:22.000 Hey, Attorney General, I want you to make the streets safer.

00:20:26.000 For example, we have a massive influx of black on Asian crime that's not being dealt with. 0.99

00:20:33.000 Go to 2.8.

00:20:34.000 Hey, Attorney General, could you deal with this?

00:20:37.000 We have, there seems to be a race war on, but because whites aren't involved, it's not reported.

00:20:45.000 So there's black on yellow crime. 0.60

00:20:47.000 In the southwest of America, there's a massive black on brown war. 0.95

00:20:52.000 But this guy, who sees an old Asian guy as easy prey, decides to tear him a new ass, beat the living shit out of him.

00:21:00.000 Not a hate crime.

00:21:04.000 You know what?

00:21:05.000 I'm actually open to the possibility it isn't totally a hate crime in the sense that this guy was too dumb to think of like Asia, China, whatever.

00:21:14.000 He was just like, Asians are easy prey. 1.00

00:21:17.000 I'm going to beat them up.

00:21:18.000 The same way you would beat up a Hasidic Jew or an old lady or a handicapped person. 0.85

00:21:23.000 No offense, elderly Asians, but you're not known for retaliation, which I think is unfortunate.

00:21:28.000 I wish you were.

00:21:29.000 That's why we showed that dude the other day who tackled the lunatic who was punching people.

00:21:34.000 All right, sorry.

00:21:36.000 Resteer the ship here.

00:21:37.000 This is a good Twitter to follow all things.

00:21:39.000 Asians fighting back and, you know, just seeing how they get attacked.

00:21:44.000 Asian don't. 1.00

00:21:45.000 Wait, I saw that video that you just scrolled by.

00:21:47.000 That was Asians? 1.00

00:21:49.000 Machete Willing Man ran over and beaten in Hawaii.

00:21:52.000 He wasn't beaten by Asians.

00:21:55.000 Was he?

00:21:57.000 I think Asians are like 50% of the population over there.

00:22:00.000 Oh, so if you see someone beating someone up, it's usually Asians kicking ass. 1.00

00:22:04.000 Yeah.

00:22:05.000 Yeah, show the video.

00:22:06.000 It's a cool video.

00:22:07.000 Okay.

00:22:08.000 He smashes his machete on the ground, ready to kill people, and it does not go great for him soon after that.

00:22:16.000 I don't know what that is.

00:22:16.000 The man building a machete last night in Chinatown.

00:22:19.000 It's a story, Keon Good.

00:22:21.000 Chinatown is half of the island of Hawaii.

00:22:25.000 In Hawaii, otherwise known as Chinatown Island.

00:22:30.000 The man waving a machete in Baratania Street Monday night has been apprehended by HPD.

00:22:36.000 He was seen by venereal warts?

00:22:41.000 Everyone's fighting back.

00:22:42.000 Even Venereal Warts.

00:22:44.000 Okay, watch this.

00:22:44.000 You're dead, motherfuckers.

00:22:47.000 No, we're not dead.

00:22:48.000 You're dead.

00:22:50.000 Oh, you got...

00:22:51.000 I had the video somewhere.

00:22:53.000 It might even be in my...

00:22:57.000 I almost included it in my final vids.

00:23:00.000 We got to see the actual one.

00:23:02.000 It was in the mailbag.

00:23:05.000 See if you can dig it up, Brian.

00:23:06.000 Well, you're not going to have time.

00:23:09.000 Alright, we'll dig that up.

00:23:12.000 Maybe if you look in the mailbag under machete.

00:23:15.000 I think I got it right here.

00:23:17.000 But let's see which one, like, uncensored, like, total best one.

00:23:21.000 The Chinese one is probably going to smash the subscribe. 1.00

00:23:23.000 Oh, no, I saw a blur.

00:23:31.000 I don't want any blurring.

00:23:33.000 It's the kind of thing that you'd want to see on Reddit.

00:23:43.000 There's a lot of machines versus cars.

00:23:45.000 Yeah, that's not the way to look at it.

00:23:48.000 We have to watch this now.

00:23:50.000 We're totally killing the show.

00:23:52.000 Huge detour.

00:23:55.000 I'm going to have to do it because I'm better at your job than you.

00:23:58.000 So.

00:24:00.000 Watch it on YouTube.

00:24:01.000 It's going to be a stupid news clip.

00:24:09.000 Apparently, methamphetamine.

00:24:12.000 Here we go.

00:24:14.000 Ryan, I told you to check the mailbag and look up machete.

00:24:18.000 It's like the fifth.

00:24:20.000 It's maybe the 15th email down, and it says, man armed with machete gets hit by a car.

00:24:27.000 Why can't you follow my instructions?

00:24:28.000 Got it.

00:24:46.000 That's just the beginning.

00:24:47.000 And then they spray him.

00:24:49.000 Did they spray him?

00:24:51.000 Wait, go back.

00:24:52.000 Oh, yeah.

00:24:56.000 Oh, shit.

00:24:58.000 And then a knockout.

00:25:00.000 It keeps getting better, though.

00:25:01.000 Check this out.

00:25:04.000 They're lighting him up.

00:25:06.000 Love to see it.

00:25:08.000 Love to see it.

00:25:10.000 I love to see people taking care of business.

00:25:12.000 That guy was clearly a fucking psychoasso, right? 0.75

00:25:15.000 He's coming at them with a machete.

00:25:17.000 Some stranger rams him with the car.

00:25:20.000 Then they're doing a great job of fighting with the tripping and the kicking in the head and the punching.

00:25:26.000 And they're lighting him up all over his body, which I always love to see.

00:25:29.000 I hate when it's just the head.

00:25:30.000 Get some ribs in there, do some long-term damage.

00:25:34.000 He's delirious.

00:25:35.000 He's probably concussed now, but he's trying to get out of there.

00:25:38.000 No, it's not happening.

00:25:39.000 You're not getting out of there, meth head.

00:25:41.000 Definitely a meth head, right?

00:25:44.000 And then watch this.

00:25:46.000 He gets hit, but not hit.

00:25:49.000 Oh, shit.

00:25:50.000 Oh, I guess that's the car that hit him.

00:25:52.000 I don't know.

00:25:52.000 He seemed to get hit by an invisible car.

00:25:56.000 And he's just done here.

00:25:59.000 And then the cops show up and they start questioning people.

00:26:02.000 Oh, shit, I'm shaking.

00:26:03.000 Anyway, sorry.

00:26:04.000 This is about feminism, people. 1.00

00:26:07.000 Let's get back to feminism. 1.00

00:26:08.000 So, some German chick working for my old alma mater vice decided to show the world. 0.97

00:26:17.000 And how many times have we fucking seen this?

00:26:20.000 To show the world the beauty of shithole Pakistan. 1.00

00:26:25.000 This American blogger was showing an unseen Pakistan, then she was gang raped.

00:26:30.000 It's funny too, because usually in these articles, they try to spin it and go like, a freak occurrence happened and Nazis are using it to justify their disgusting bigotry.

00:26:40.000 But this is like probably a friend of the person writing.

00:26:43.000 So when your friend's raped, you tend to be a little more honest.

00:26:46.000 A conservative is a liberal who got raped.

00:26:48.000 An honest article is about your friend who was raped.

00:26:51.000 The audacious assault of an American woman in Pakistan is disrupting a narrative created by Western influencers that the country is safe for women.

00:27:01.000 It's disrupting a narrative.

00:27:04.000 That narrative is in tatters.

00:27:07.000 That narrative is fucking destroyed.

00:27:10.000 That narrative, the narrative that the Muslim world is safe for women, we just saw it. 1.00

00:27:18.000 It had a machete and it was approaching people and it got hit by a car, it got pepper sprayed, and it's got its ass beat in three different locations, and then it got hit by a car again.

00:27:30.000 That's how the narrative is doing.

00:27:32.000 So this whole article for vice is pretty honest.

00:27:36.000 And it goes, this woman, German-American woman, goes there and fucking, she's furious, of course. 1.00

00:27:45.000 But here's her angle.

00:27:46.000 This was so bad, me trying to press charges.

00:27:49.000 This was so impossible for me as a rich woman.

00:27:52.000 Imagine how bad it is for the poor women of Pakistan. 1.00

00:27:55.000 And you're like, yeah.

00:27:58.000 I never doubted for a nanosecond that it sucks to be a woman in Pakistan.

00:28:03.000 It sucks to be a person in Pakistan.

00:28:05.000 It sucks to be a Muslim in Pakistan.

00:28:08.000 Look at this guy.

00:28:10.000 That's the guy.

00:28:12.000 And they say it was audacious.

00:28:16.000 When you hear the treatment she got trying to press charges, it doesn't sound very audacious at all.

00:28:20.000 It sounds very conformist.

00:28:23.000 I was in the same clothes for nearly three days.

00:28:25.000 At the hospital, RP said she was subjected to the two-finger test, which was declared unconstitutional by Pakistan Supreme Court last year.

00:28:35.000 Oh, they're getting modernized.

00:28:38.000 Fingering a woman who was raped to see if she was raped, that's ancient. 0.59

00:28:42.000 We haven't done that since 2021.

00:28:45.000 Old news.

00:28:46.000 This is a 2022 Pakistan. 0.97

00:28:49.000 And we've stopped doing the upside-down jogger every time a woman gets raped.

00:28:53.000 She added that even though she had bruises on her body, the medical practitioner didn't mention them in the medico-legal report.

00:28:59.000 Her DNA test came out on July 28th, confirming the rape 11 days after it happened.

00:29:05.000 Now, normally, wait, go to the poll quote, though, of that article.

00:29:08.000 I found it particularly annoying.

00:29:11.000 Look it up.

00:29:13.000 What we're seeing in Pakistan is travel colonialism. 0.82

00:29:16.000 It's when white influencers come to developing countries to exploit the people's biases to make a good bang for their bucks.

00:29:23.000 So now they're shitting on her?

00:29:24.000 I don't even get that poll quote.

00:29:27.000 Oh, look, our boy Nas.

00:29:29.000 Last year, Nas Daily, a Waltham Barra-Israeli blogger, shut down his operations in the Philippines after his company was accused of profiting off an indigenous tattoo artist.

00:29:35.000 Oh, shut up. 0.99

00:29:37.000 When women come here, they get raped. 1.00

00:29:40.000 And rape is a form of sex that the woman doesn't necessarily know is happening. 1.00

00:29:47.000 Thanks, Nas.

00:29:48.000 Lots of people all around the world love rape. 1.00

00:29:51.000 It is the number one way to have sex in the third world. 1.00

00:29:54.000 And it used to be very popular in the West a thousand years ago.

00:29:58.000 Now, it's mostly black guys. 0.91

00:30:01.000 It's called pigeon sex. 0.99

00:30:03.000 Like regular sex, but way easier because only one person has to decide.

00:30:07.000 Way cheaper.

00:30:08.000 You don't have to buy dinner or nothing.

00:30:10.000 Problem is, you go to jail.

00:30:12.000 And it's really good workout, too.

00:30:14.000 When you're done raping, you have to run away.

00:30:17.000 Like a parkour guy.

00:30:20.000 And the girls love it, especially in Pakistan, because after they get some sweet rapist cock, they get to go to the police and get fingered. 0.76

00:30:28.000 Oh, Nas.

00:30:30.000 Let's go back over some more geniuses who tried this out.

00:30:34.000 Like our favorite is Pippa Becka.

00:30:37.000 I don't know if you have a New York Times paywall.

00:30:43.000 They always make her picture small for some strange reason.

00:30:49.000 They don't want you to focus on the person.

00:30:51.000 So this is a woman who said, I'm sick of people saying Muslims are racist and that Turkey and all these other sort of Muslim European places are dangerous for women.

00:31:01.000 So what I'm going to do is I'm going to wear a wedding dress and I'm going to go through Turkey, through all these places, and show you how totally rad they are.

00:31:10.000 Go to Sarajevo.

00:31:12.000 And not only did she get raped, she was dismembered and burned.

00:31:16.000 Her naked body was found in some bushes near a Turkish village.

00:31:20.000 Although an official cause of death has not been given, local Turkish authorities said she's been raped and strangled.

00:31:26.000 And of course, there was the Somali-Canadian journalist, Hodam Nalaya, who noticed that Somalia was getting a bad rap.

00:31:36.000 People were saying that Mogadishu isn't a great place for a woman to go. 0.99

00:31:41.000 Right?

00:31:42.000 Why do people say that?

00:31:43.000 I'll tell you why.

00:31:44.000 Because Somalia is not a good place for women to go. 1.00

00:31:47.000 Well, she wanted to prove you wrong, so she did a little Instagram blog.

00:31:51.000 Not a book or anything substantial.

00:31:54.000 The IQs of Somalians don't really allow for book writing. 1.00

00:31:57.000 But she decided to just do some Instagram pictures of her having some dumb fucking Somalian coffee that probably gives you explosive diarrhea and taking picture of a nice boat. 1.00

00:32:07.000 And here's some birds flying in a circle.

00:32:10.000 It's probably not even real.

00:32:13.000 And then what happened?

00:32:14.000 Raped to death.

00:32:18.000 Turns out that she ended up proving exactly what she was out to disprove.

00:32:24.000 Exactly like Arabella Arpy, exactly like Pippa Beca, and exactly Like our friend Amanda Kijera in Haiti. 0.99

00:32:33.000 This is a very famous one.

00:32:34.000 This article is very hard to find, but this woman went to Haiti to talk about how they are wrongly portrayed.

00:32:41.000 I believe Port-au-Prince is the rape capital of the world.

00:32:44.000 South Africa is, as far as countries go, is the number one rape spot. 0.99

00:32:48.000 But if you want to get raped in a city, check out Port-au-Prince. 0.99

00:32:52.000 And she's famous, of course, for while she was being raped, pointing out that she's a Malcolm X scholar. 0.97

00:32:57.000 Probably in English, probably to a unilingual French person in Haiti, because that's what they speak there.

00:33:03.000 Because the only time they had anything going on was when the French were ruling it. 0.99

00:33:06.000 And then some dumb bitch suggested that the Haitians don't get a Sunday off, the slaves, and they can't worship their God, which was a dumb move. 1.00

00:33:14.000 They all went ballistic, and they murdered every man, woman, and child on the island.

00:33:19.000 All the white people drank their blood from their skulls, fucked the babies, beheaded them, threw their limbs at each other, tortured them to death. 0.73

00:33:26.000 Brutal massacre.

00:33:28.000 But because they were slaves and it was to rich slave owners, fuck them. 0.90

00:33:39.000 All right, that's it for chicks. 1.00

00:33:42.000 Let's jump over to LGBTQ for a second before we do a green screen about the 10 things I learned living in the South for two days.

00:33:54.000 Why are you gay? 0.99

00:33:55.000 I felt ugly.

00:33:56.000 I felt gay.

00:33:57.000 And then we fell in love.

00:33:59.000 I never eat the poop, but we have a very good relationship.

00:34:04.000 You don't want to feel close to the picture of my haters because you hate damage.

00:34:08.000 You ugly.

00:34:10.000 Can I just take a moment here to discuss my shoes?

00:34:15.000 Of course.

00:34:16.000 Is that okay?

00:34:19.000 These are Clarks.

00:34:22.000 I don't know the name of them per se, but when you look up Clark's, I don't know, Brogues, you'll get these.

00:34:31.000 They are the most insanely comfortable shoe I have ever owned in my life.

00:34:36.000 I have them in brown and black.

00:34:37.000 I'm going to get them in white for my white suit.

00:34:40.000 They weigh about as much as a stick of gum.

00:34:43.000 I honestly think I could run a marathon in these.

00:34:46.000 My J. Crew brogues or wingtips or whatever you call these are, I've had to have them resold twice.

00:34:53.000 They're pretty clunky and they hurt your feet after a while.

00:34:56.000 But these fucking things are the most comfortable shoe I've ever owned in my life, including jogging sneakers.

00:35:02.000 See if you can find it.

00:35:05.000 Is that the unhew lace?

00:35:08.000 Are you blind?

00:35:09.000 It has a white sole shit for brains. 0.97

00:35:12.000 It's pretty easy to find.

00:35:13.000 Just find the one with the white sole.

00:35:15.000 No, I don't think it's that one.

00:35:17.000 It doesn't have the brown thing.

00:35:22.000 Keep going.

00:35:22.000 Clarks has some real stinkers.

00:35:26.000 Seems to be all for dress shoes.

00:35:28.000 Really?

00:35:29.000 Well, see, this skew has a white and also not white sole.

00:35:34.000 Yeah, but that's not the shoe.

00:35:36.000 This has the wingtip shit on it.

00:35:39.000 The broguing. 0.73

00:35:40.000 Anyway, I can't recommend it enough.

00:35:42.000 It's the most comfortable thing I've ever had on my feet, including the time I f foot-fucked a prostitute. 0.99

00:35:48.000 Ow. 0.99

00:35:53.000 Just to show you how mainstream this drag queen thing is, and this is going to segue into the war on kids, because we're normalizing this shit. 0.99

00:36:01.000 And it started out as a funny joke, but now it's getting dark.

00:36:04.000 Because I don't think drag queens are all groomers that want to fuck kids. 1.00

00:36:08.000 But just like Antifa opens the door to violent people who want to stab you while wearing a mask, the drag shit opens the door to predatory pedophiles, predatory pedophiles, who want to fuck kids. 0.98

00:36:24.000 So we don't want to condemn you all and throw you in jail.

00:36:27.000 We just want you to stop doing that and get it away from kids because though you might be innocent, you're attracting some ne'er-do-wells. 0.99

00:36:33.000 So let's start with the innocent.

00:36:36.000 Trixie Mattel.

00:36:38.000 Now, Mattel's a kid's toy thing.

00:36:43.000 That's a very kid-like name.

00:36:45.000 So turn that up.

00:36:47.000 Hi, it's me, International Drag Superstar Trixie Mattel, coming to you live from wherever we are.

00:36:53.000 When I'm on tour, I find myself accessing the internet from a lot of different places.

00:36:57.000 Sounds like a dude.

00:36:58.000 Yeah, it does.

00:36:59.000 Slightly gay dude.

00:37:01.000 Hotels, motels, coffee shops, gyms, libraries.

00:37:06.000 And I worry that somebody might get access to my password because it's 1234.

00:37:11.000 That's why I rely on Google's two-step verification.

00:37:14.000 It double-checks when I log in to prove that it's me.

00:37:16.000 So even if a hacker does steal my password, they can't get into my Google account.

00:37:21.000 It's easy.

00:37:22.000 Just tap and you're in.

00:37:24.000 Sorry, my account is very secure.

00:37:26.000 This hotel, you're on.

00:37:27.000 One more look, just to be safe.

00:37:29.000 I knew it.

00:37:30.000 Gorgeous.

00:37:31.000 Turn on two-step verification for your Google account today.

00:37:34.000 How gorgeous is it?

00:37:35.000 Isn't that a parody of women? 1.00

00:37:37.000 It's fucking female blackface. 1.00

00:37:41.000 And then part two of normalizing this.

00:37:44.000 Here's a fun sabbatical for police officers just to recalibrate.

00:37:47.000 Just don't show everything yet.

00:37:49.000 Hold on, Ryan.

00:37:50.000 Go back to that.

00:37:52.000 Go back to it, but don't show the picture.

00:37:53.000 Don't show the picture.

00:37:55.000 Introducing the sabbatical program for veteran officers in River City, California.

00:38:00.000 Couldn't agree with this more.

00:38:01.000 It's brutal work.

00:38:02.000 You know, the suicide rate, for a while there, I think it was last year, we had an NYPD suicide, both newly retired and in service, of an officer a month blowing his or her head off.

00:38:16.000 So yeah, let's give these guys a break. 0.53

00:38:19.000 Police work can be stressful in an effort to keep our officers from getting burned out.

00:38:23.000 Chief Sherris introduced the sabbatical program.

00:38:26.000 After 10 years of service, officers can take off six months to recharge their batteries.

00:38:31.000 We found this makes for friendlier officers.

00:38:34.000 Here, Officer Pat Smoth, she, her, sounds pretty. 0.99

00:38:38.000 A lot of cops can be kind of hot.

00:38:41.000 And here in New York, they tend to be Puerto Rican, tend to have remarkably fat asses and be remarkably short. 1.00

00:38:47.000 But, you know, sometimes female officers are hot. 1.00

00:38:50.000 She's enjoying her sabbatical at Lake Shassa, so I guess she's been a cop for 10 years.

00:38:55.000 You can see how happy she is enjoying this time to get more connected with nature.

00:38:58.000 Ooh, I can't wait to check her out.

00:39:00.000 She's probably in a bikini. 1.00

00:39:01.000 Do you have a boner yet, Ryan?

00:39:03.000 Yeah.

00:39:03.000 Why don't you start beating off now so we can keep the show going and you just ejaculate as we pull up the picture?

00:39:09.000 Okay.

00:39:10.000 I'll just edge right up, up, get to the edge.

00:39:14.000 I'm there.

00:39:14.000 And let's check out this cop who's ready to go.

00:39:18.000 All right.

00:39:20.000 Oh, my.

00:39:22.000 Cam still going.

00:39:23.000 If you had any doubts, there's some confirmation bias in the pouch.

00:39:30.000 Okay, hold on up.

00:39:31.000 Because when you first hit, you're like, maybe it's just an ugly broad whose tits are very far apart. 1.00

00:39:36.000 What the fuck?

00:39:38.000 This is them showing.

00:39:41.000 Like, it's not even just a tranny on the beach. 0.98

00:39:45.000 They're showing us his bizarre dick pouch.

00:39:49.000 This is not Photoshopped, folks.

00:39:52.000 This is the River City Police Department sending out pornography.

00:39:58.000 Gay porn. 0.97

00:40:02.000 It's satanic.

00:40:05.000 And Satan has made it pretty clear that he doesn't like this kind of shit.

00:40:09.000 Satan doesn't hate fags. 1.00

00:40:11.000 God doesn't hate fags.

00:40:12.000 What?

00:40:14.000 What are you waiting?

00:40:17.000 Oh, no.

00:40:21.000 We live in a crazy world knowing I have to.

00:40:25.000 What about it is Photoshopped?

00:40:28.000 I don't understand.

00:40:29.000 Well, the photos come from something else.

00:40:33.000 Oh, okay.

00:40:34.000 So all that's intact?

00:40:36.000 Yeah.

00:40:36.000 And now that's that.

00:40:37.000 Well, without the pictures, the whole thing's a complete waste of time.

00:40:39.000 And I'm sorry for wasting your time, folks.

00:40:41.000 That's not who I am.

00:40:43.000 And that's not what this network is.

00:40:45.000 He's right, though.

00:40:46.000 And if I'm not here on Monday and I've been let go, I want you to know that I had a great time trying to provide you with the best news possible.

00:40:54.000 And do we make mistakes?

00:40:55.000 Yes, we just made one.

00:40:56.000 And you saw it here live.

00:40:58.000 I should have known it was kind of odd that a police department was releasing child porn, or sorry, gay porn.

00:41:06.000 I screwed up.

00:41:07.000 And I really hope I have a job here still.

00:41:10.000 And I really hope we don't lose you as a subscriber, even if I am fired.

00:41:14.000 Anyway, God doesn't hate fags. 0.55

00:41:18.000 God doesn't hate fags.

00:41:20.000 Satan doesn't hate fags. 1.00

00:41:22.000 But both of them are not nuts about four-day piss orgies where you rip your ass so severely that there's flaps of skin hanging out of your prolapse anus like a skin-colored hula skirt. 0.88

00:41:39.000 Grass skirt, I meant to say.

00:41:40.000 I see, I'm thrown off by our terrible reporting.

00:41:43.000 And, you know, here's the thing I've been thinking about a lot recently.

00:41:47.000 We talk about God all the time and nature.

00:41:52.000 It's the same fucking thing.

00:41:54.000 So if you're an atheist, substitute every time I say God into nature and you have the same argument.

00:42:00.000 God is nature.

00:42:01.000 So atheists believe in God. 0.79

00:42:05.000 Now, you can get into the minutiae of the Bible and say, Abel didn't do this and all that.

00:42:09.000 Like, that's just one group trying to wrap their heads around what happened.

00:42:13.000 And they are, to the best of their ability, saying, this is what's going on with God.

00:42:17.000 I think the cargo cult, where they worship planes, is a very bad attempt to understand what's going on with the big guy.

00:42:23.000 But the big guy's there.

00:42:25.000 And nature doesn't like it when you have five-day orgies.

00:42:30.000 So what's Satan in this analogy?

00:42:32.000 I guess it's like anti-nature.

00:42:34.000 Nature fighting back.

00:42:36.000 Siblings have sex and they make a retard. 1.00

00:42:38.000 That's nature saying, don't do that.

00:42:39.000 You can say it's God saying, don't do that.

00:42:41.000 Same thing.

00:42:44.000 So this is an interesting clip that's no longer available.

00:42:48.000 And it is a guy saying, monkeypox feels like you are Satan's puppet.

00:42:56.000 And for the atheists out there, you are anti-nature's puppet.

00:43:01.000 That is an open wound.

00:43:04.000 And every single time you go to the bathroom, it feels like Satan himself is reaching up inside you and saying, hello, you're my puppet now.

00:43:16.000 Monkey Pox.

00:43:18.000 Wait, wait, zoom out.

00:43:18.000 Zoom out.

00:43:20.000 Monkey Pox feels like you're Satan's puppet.

00:43:23.000 I'm going to dress up like Satan and say, I bet hell is fabulous.

00:43:27.000 No, it hurts.

00:43:28.000 It hurts your dick.

00:43:32.000 All right, let's go to the war on kids.

00:43:34.000 Let's go to the moron kids, those stupid kids.

00:43:50.000 We are living in an ageism era where children are seen as human garbage.

00:43:56.000 Regulations to indoctrinate American school children with poisonous and divisive left-wing doctrine.

00:44:07.000 So we're in a strange era, folks, where I used to have a separate segment for LGBTQIA.

00:44:16.000 Q is queer. 1.00

00:44:17.000 Isn't there one for questioning?

00:44:18.000 There should be two Qs. 0.99

00:44:20.000 And I is intersex and A is asexual.

00:44:24.000 Lesbian, gay, bi, trans, queer, intersectional, asexual.

00:44:32.000 Intersexual.

00:44:33.000 Queer and intersexual means I haven't decided what letter I am yet.

00:44:37.000 You shouldn't get a letter then.

00:44:39.000 Like, there's no sports team for guys who haven't chosen a team yet.

00:44:43.000 What's your favorite baseball team?

00:44:45.000 I'm questioning it.

00:44:47.000 No.

00:44:48.000 It could be LGBTQ2. 0.96

00:44:51.000 So then there's two Qs.

00:44:54.000 And then there's a plus two?

00:44:55.000 There's way too many options.

00:44:58.000 It should be lesbian, gay, by trans, and then Q is question, is queer. 0.93

00:45:09.000 LGBTQ.

00:45:11.000 I can't believe I'm a conservative and I'm saying that.

00:45:14.000 I would like to reduce it to those groups.

00:45:16.000 Please, please.

00:45:17.000 You're just lesbian, gay. 1.00

00:45:18.000 What kind of gay are you? 0.72

00:45:19.000 I'm a trans gay.

00:45:22.000 Well, they don't say that, though.

00:45:23.000 They say I'm straight.

00:45:26.000 Or I'm a les.

00:45:27.000 It'll be me with long hair And I get to keep my beard, and I'm like, I'm a Les.

00:45:34.000 I just happen to have a strap on attached to my body.

00:45:37.000 Okay, that's me.

00:45:39.000 Me too.

00:45:41.000 Like my favorite couple, Gigi and Getty, where they're a straight couple who have convinced themselves that they're some sort of trans.

00:45:52.000 She fucks her wife in husband in his pussy using her cock. 1.00

00:46:10.000 How about you just fuck your wife with your dick and you're like glam and she's a tomboy? 1.00

00:46:16.000 No, I have to cut his tit her tits off. 1.00

00:46:19.000 I don't think Gigi Gorgeous has had any surgery.

00:46:22.000 And his poor girlfriend has to have her tits cut off. 1.00

00:46:27.000 Anyway, that's a whole other thing.

00:46:29.000 So this is pretty heavy.

00:46:31.000 The whole trans thing has been a shit show since day one. 1.00

00:46:35.000 And the National Association of Pediatricians, the American Association, AA, has been saying this.

00:46:44.000 Files expose how U.S. pediatricians accuse their own professional body of pushing a harmful drugs-first approach on trans deans and of deliberately blocking moves to change the rules.

00:46:56.000 So you, within this community, you have all these normal fucking doctors saying, let's not do this.

00:47:02.000 You know, the drug they give them to prevent puberty is the same drug we used to use to chemically castrate pedophiles.

00:47:10.000 Now, there's all kinds of horrific side effects.

00:47:12.000 Uh-oh, Ann Hatch is dead.

00:47:16.000 There's all kinds of horrific side effects.

00:47:18.000 And back when it was just for pedophiles, we'd be like, what?

00:47:23.000 What now?

00:47:24.000 The drug that you gave the pedophile so he wouldn't fuck kids.

00:47:27.000 It's made him go bald, and he's sterile now, and he has a horrible rash on his ass. 0.90

00:47:35.000 Okay.

00:47:38.000 And?

00:47:39.000 But when it's a kid who now is infertile and has all kinds of development issues, then it's bad.

00:47:45.000 Go down a bit.

00:47:46.000 They show you too.

00:47:49.000 Did they show the examples of people done?

00:47:50.000 So that's the leaked document.

00:47:52.000 Blah, blah, blah.

00:47:52.000 We've been trying to fight this.

00:47:56.000 That's the woman who's fighting. 1.00

00:47:58.000 She's totally ostracized for daring to question.

00:48:02.000 And all she's saying is, can we reconvene and have some sort of a conference to discuss the pros and cons of this?

00:48:08.000 Because it seems like we're running away.

00:48:11.000 We're putting the cart before the horse here.

00:48:14.000 Go ahead.

00:48:19.000 And it's so few doctors are willing to speak out because they don't want to lose their careers.

00:48:23.000 Like, isn't the Hippocratic oath that you'll do no harm?

00:48:29.000 If you are allowing children to be brutalized, then you're violating the Hippocratic Oath.

00:48:35.000 So that chick on the left with the beard, no, below that, that was a chick, then it was a dude, and now on the right, that's the chick now back to chick form.

00:48:45.000 But who knows what she's done to her tits, the hormones, long-term hormones, and then this one, Chloe Cole above, she's pretty famous where she was a woman, she became that weird-looking Asian tomboy, and now she's back to a chick again. 1.00

00:49:00.000 Her short-lived transition into being a boy was a mistake, and years of treatment from age 13 onwards took a huge toll on her body.

00:49:09.000 I was talking to a hockey player last night who had kidney stones when he was 20.

00:49:14.000 He had cancer, stage 4 cancer.

00:49:17.000 He survived all kinds of these horrific diseases all at a young age.

00:49:22.000 And I found that he was taking steroids, like injecting steroids into himself when he was a teenager because he was a big hockey star.

00:49:30.000 That's just steroids.

00:49:31.000 And we saw what steroids did to pro-wrestlers and cops who lose and end up killing themselves and their family.

00:49:37.000 That's just steroids.

00:49:39.000 This is way more intense.

00:49:41.000 You're infertile. 0.97

00:49:43.000 Who knows what kind of cancers we're giving these kids down the line?

00:49:48.000 And then, of course, very few of them go, all right, thanks, I'm fixed now, especially with this exchange operation.

00:49:57.000 So we know it's bad, right?

00:49:59.000 We're all on the same page.

00:50:00.000 Now let's focus on these parents pushing it. 0.76

00:50:03.000 Here's a mom pushing it. 1.00

00:50:04.000 This is an amazing clip.

00:50:06.000 And I've seen this more than once.

00:50:08.000 We don't have this clip, but you might remember this really ugly Canadian dad. 1.00

00:50:11.000 He looks like a flapper.

00:50:13.000 He's got a short bob, and he's sitting on the bed in some sort of flapper dress with his daughter.

00:50:17.000 And he's saying, so when we talk about gender, we don't necessarily go with the body we were born with, right?

00:50:25.000 And the kid is like, four.

00:50:28.000 And she's like, no, it doesn't matter if you're a boy or you feel like a boy.

00:50:32.000 And he's like, right.

00:50:33.000 And if you're born a girl, but you feel like a boy, then you can be a boy, right?

00:50:37.000 And the kid's like, yeah, I remember you saying shit like that.

00:50:40.000 It's really tedious, but okay.

00:50:43.000 Can I leave now?

00:50:44.000 Why is a camera in our house, by the way?

00:50:46.000 This is weird.

00:50:48.000 And you look like a fucking goon. 0.99

00:50:50.000 You look like a moron.

00:50:52.000 You look like an asshole. 0.63

00:50:52.000 What are you doing? 0.63

00:50:54.000 Is this a Halloween party?

00:50:55.000 You know you don't look like a woman, right? 1.00

00:50:57.000 No, that's not what we agreed to talk about.

00:50:59.000 We agreed to talk about how you're trans and I'm trans and trans is wonderful.

00:51:05.000 Check out another example of this.

00:51:08.000 Nine-year-old Kieran Clausen collects crystals.

00:51:11.000 She dabbles in face paint and she loves sports.

00:51:14.000 What do you play?

00:51:15.000 I did play volleyball, soccer, and I want to play basketball.

00:51:21.000 To Kieran, who's transgender, it's not about racking up victories.

00:51:25.000 I don't want to win any trophies for it, though.

00:51:28.000 I feel like that's the most unfair way to compete because it's not about winning.

00:51:34.000 What's it about?

00:51:35.000 Did you catch that?

00:51:36.000 Don't worry, it gets a little clearer.

00:51:38.000 Wow.

00:51:40.000 Yes, I did.

00:51:41.000 Okay.

00:51:43.000 You don't have to rewind.

00:51:44.000 I told you.

00:51:45.000 By the way, have you noticed, like, the kid hasn't even formed his speech yet.

00:51:49.000 He's still talking about Vollibal and saying that cheesebogo and that guy's a joke. 0.54

00:51:55.000 But yeah, you can choose your gender.

00:51:57.000 You can't pronounce it, but you can choose it.

00:52:00.000 Most unfair way to compete because it's not about winning.

00:52:04.000 What's it about?

00:52:05.000 Having fun with your friend before it, though.

00:52:08.000 I feel like that's the most unfair way to compete because it's not about winning.

00:52:13.000 Kieran seems undeterred.

00:52:18.000 Keep going with a message about her journey.

00:52:22.000 Never stop being you.

00:52:23.000 That's it.

00:52:24.000 Never stop being you.

00:52:26.000 There's so many kids that don't even have the opportunity to join this.

00:52:32.000 That's just who they really are.

00:52:33.000 We are acknowledging more people as who they are than taking something away from somebody else.

00:52:42.000 You know what scares the shit out of me is losing custody.

00:52:47.000 Not with my kids, but in general, you, when you're getting divorced and you get one of these fucking bullshit judges like the one Alex Jones got, and the wife says, he doesn't recognize that our kid is trans, and he keeps deadnaming her.

00:53:03.000 And then the judge goes, well, fuck that.

00:53:04.000 That's child abuse. 1.00

00:53:05.000 You can never see that kid again.

00:53:07.000 How do you compete with that?

00:53:09.000 And I've seen this happen a million times.

00:53:11.000 And not just with, you always assume it's the man.

00:53:13.000 But I saw it with a woman. 1.00

00:53:15.000 There was a woman who was losing custody of her kids because she refused to play the trans game. 1.00

00:53:23.000 It's not a game you want to play.

00:53:25.000 Avoid it at all costs.

00:53:28.000 4-1.

00:53:29.000 We have some dude who was teaching elementary school, turns out to be a pedophile.

00:53:36.000 You know, why did a young man, a weird-looking but relatively handsome young man, want to be an elementary school teacher?

00:53:44.000 That's why I'm uncomfortable around male flight attendants that aren't gay or male nurses. 0.98

00:53:51.000 Don't you want to do the cool thing, like be the principal?

00:53:54.000 Bring back old ladies. 1.00

00:53:56.000 I remember my daughter's first kindergarten teacher when we lived in Brooklyn, PS84.

00:54:02.000 And they were like, it's show and tell day.

00:54:05.000 My daughter's going to bring in some Ho-Chunk Indian stuff. 1.00

00:54:08.000 And the nice old lady was like, oh, that sounds exciting. 0.96

00:54:12.000 Your daughter's going to bring some of her treasures.

00:54:15.000 Hey, sweetie, are you bringing your treasures tomorrow?

00:54:18.000 My wife and I would always joke about our daughter's treasures.

00:54:20.000 That's normal.

00:54:22.000 We used to have normal fat kindergarten teachers. 1.00

00:54:25.000 Well, not Ryan.

00:54:26.000 He had some big black woman who would sit on him every time he misbehaved. 1.00

00:54:30.000 That's true.

00:54:31.000 That's weird.

00:54:32.000 There was a room for it, right?

00:54:34.000 That's sitting on the little boy room.

00:54:36.000 It was in the back of the class.

00:54:38.000 And they had the prize box back there.

00:54:40.000 And eventually I found it.

00:54:41.000 What are you smoking there?

00:54:42.000 A faggot stick? 1.00

00:54:44.000 It's a piece of wood.

00:54:46.000 It's got some essential oils in the tip.

00:54:49.000 I got some essential oils in my tip.

00:54:51.000 Really?

00:54:51.000 Why don't you suck...

00:54:52.000 I got some essential oils in my tip, Greg.

00:54:54.000 Can you milk me?

00:54:55.000 I'll give him a shot.

00:54:56.000 So this is your quitting vaping by shoving bamboo up in your mouth?

00:55:00.000 Essential oils.

00:55:01.000 You have a PhD in being annoying.

00:55:04.000 You never seem to amaze me, as P. Diddy would say.

00:55:07.000 I have my mastic gum from a Greek island, an annoying town. 1.00

00:55:14.000 No, it's a regular place.

00:55:17.000 And then here's a woman saying, we need to normalize pedophilia.

00:55:23.000 It's not that bad.

00:55:24.000 They don't all fuck kids.

00:55:26.000 That's the bright side.

00:55:28.000 And I'm a licensed professional counselor and sex therapist in Erie, Pennsylvania.

00:55:34.000 And today I want to talk about minor attracted persons.

00:55:38.000 And I want to talk about minor attracted persons because they are probably the most vilified population of folks in our culture. 0.95

00:55:46.000 Yeah, why is that?

00:55:47.000 And most folks are making incorrect assumptions about them without actually knowing much about them.

00:55:54.000 And those assumptions create harm for an already marginalized population.

00:56:00.000 Already marginalized.

00:56:01.000 You may have noticed that I'm using the term minor attracted persons, sometimes abbreviated to maps.

00:56:08.000 Instead of the more commonly used...

00:56:10.000 Why are people who fuck kids so vilified?

00:56:13.000 Look at the quote from pedophile.

00:56:16.000 Oh, quote unquote.

00:56:19.000 Instead of the more commonly used term, pedophile.

00:56:23.000 What?

00:56:24.000 She's a demon. 1.00

00:56:26.000 What?

00:56:27.000 She's from hell.

00:56:27.000 She's visiting.

00:56:28.000 She's at an Airbnb right now visiting from hell. 1.00

00:56:32.000 And I'm doing this because the term pedophile has moved from being a diagnostic label to being a judgmental, hurtful insult that we hurl at people in order to harm them or slander them.

00:56:46.000 When was it a cheery little clinical term that no one had any judgment with?

00:56:51.000 Fucking kids has always been bad.

00:56:54.000 There's been a couple societies that allowed it throughout history and they immediately burned to the ground, like Rome.

00:57:01.000 Commonly used term pedophile.

00:57:04.000 And I'm doing this because the term pedophile has moved from being a diagnostic label to being a judgmental, hurtful insult that we hurl at people in order to harm them or slander them.

00:57:19.000 I also prefer person-first language that recognizes that any label we might apply to a person is only part of who they are.

00:57:30.000 How about I apply the label demon to you?

00:57:33.000 And I think pedophile is too kind.

00:57:36.000 It should be pre-shot in the face.

00:57:43.000 And of course, the academics love this shit.

00:57:45.000 We've got an academic here talking about how to get into the mind of a map.

00:57:51.000 While he was doing his research, he started jerking off to young boys.

00:57:56.000 I wanted to understand how my research participants experienced sexual pleasure when reading Shota, a Japanese genre of self-published erotic comics that features young boy characters.

00:58:07.000 I therefore started reading the comics in the same way as my research participants had told me that they did it while masturbating. 0.52

00:58:14.000 In this research note, I tried to find that guy in the sex registry because this guy's definitely a pedophile.

00:58:23.000 Allegedly.

00:58:26.000 And so you wonder what the fuck is going on here.

00:58:28.000 And Conceptual James is a Great guy to check in on.

00:58:31.000 He's on Elijah Schaefer's show.

00:58:32.000 And Conceptual James is recently banned for coining the hashtag OKGroomer.

00:58:38.000 So, why are you vilified if you are wary of pedophilia and want to protect children from it?

00:58:47.000 Let's let Conceptual James explain.

00:58:50.000 What the hell is happening, and how did you go from shedding light on some of the sickest and most perverted people being held accountable in our country to that being a crime and you getting punished for it?

00:59:02.000 Well, you know, I get asked this question all the time.

00:59:05.000 Can you shed light on what's happening?

00:59:06.000 And I always answer with the same word.

00:59:08.000 It's annoying to a lot of people, but the word is communism.

00:59:11.000 What's happening is communism.

00:59:13.000 Communism has known for over 100 years that you sexualize the children if you want to get a revolution.

00:59:19.000 Of course, you render the children useless after the revolution, so you have to do away with them after they've been used for their purposes.

00:59:25.000 But what's happening is that there's a rampant attempt to hide behind LGBT people to push an agenda of Marxist grooming through what they call queer theory. 0.55

00:59:38.000 And it has a humongous corporate protection racket around it and media protection racket around it, including from Media Matters.

00:59:44.000 And Twitter is actively complicit in the protection of the sexualizing of children through queer ideology, which is extremely alarming, extremely concerning. 0.89

00:59:56.000 And probably I refer to this as them crossing the uncrossable line.

01:00:00.000 So I think it's going to also be their downfall in the end.

01:00:03.000 But you said at the beginning of this discussion that, in fact, that this is them taking an L. By banning me, by banning a word, they're admitting that that word is somehow something they don't want people talking about.

01:00:13.000 So they're admitting there's something to it.

01:00:14.000 So they're taking an L. What this does when they approve things that are obviously horrible.

01:00:20.000 Can you clarify what the hell is happening and how did you go grammarical mistakes in those subtitles?

01:00:26.000 All right, so that's pretty heady and depressing and scary.

01:00:31.000 But the good news is it shows us that we're right to be wary of this random Google ad where this guy, this drag queen, is talking about how he has to protect his password. 0.99

01:00:42.000 Because that is drag queen story hour. 1.00

01:00:44.000 That leaks into academia.

01:00:46.000 We have all these academics talking about maps.

01:00:49.000 And we have academics masturbating a kiddo porn and getting arrested with kiddie porn.

01:00:54.000 And so when we, as Conceptual James points out, when we realize the grand scheme of things, the major plan here, grand plan, is our Marxist revolution, we realize we were right about all that other shit.

01:01:07.000 And it feels good to be right in every sense of the word.

01:01:12.000 But let's clean the palette with a fun little green screen.

01:01:29.000 Hey, dudes, I'm an expert on all things southern.

01:01:33.000 I've been there at least three times.

01:01:35.000 I recently spent over two days there.

01:01:37.000 I went to Alabama when we decided to sue the SPLC.

01:01:42.000 By the way, no progress on that.

01:01:44.000 Still sitting on the judge's lap.

01:01:46.000 Probably sit there forever.

01:01:48.000 There's this one judge that the SPLC always seems to get.

01:01:51.000 So we thought, there's an angle.

01:01:52.000 Let's try to find out why that happens.

01:01:54.000 Is that something we could prosecute?

01:01:56.000 I don't know.

01:01:57.000 Investigate.

01:01:58.000 But it's still sitting there, rotting.

01:02:00.000 That's one way to deal with justice.

01:02:03.000 Not exactly Swift.

01:02:04.000 Anyway, so I learned some stuff there.

01:02:06.000 I've been to Florida many times.

01:02:08.000 There's some controversy on whether Florida is the South.

01:02:12.000 But I'm looking to buy a place in Greenville, South Carolina, even though the prices are fucking insane.

01:02:19.000 That'll be $1.2 million, please.

01:02:21.000 But on Zillow, it was $600,000 in 2020.

01:02:25.000 Yeah, it's gone up.

01:02:27.000 It's gone up 100% in two years?

01:02:30.000 I'd feel like a dunce if I bought that.

01:02:32.000 Anyway, let's just dive right in here to 10 things I learned about the South.

01:02:36.000 Number one, in new Jews. 1.00

01:02:39.000 Now, I have been living amongst Hasidic Jews my entire adult life.

01:02:45.000 I moved to Montreal in 1988, Mile End.

01:02:48.000 I was by Outremont there, Outremont Bagel, I used to work at.

01:02:52.000 Then I moved upstate for a while.

01:02:54.000 I had a place upstate, not far from Curious Joel.

01:02:56.000 Saw them everywhere.

01:02:57.000 Then I was in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

01:02:59.000 They've always been my landlords.

01:03:00.000 We get along great.

01:03:01.000 I sort of see them as Amish.

01:03:02.000 They're weird, and I get that.

01:03:04.000 But you'd have to be weird to preserve a culture like this.

01:03:07.000 They're just like the Amish to me.

01:03:10.000 And it's, wait, why are you going back to this?

01:03:13.000 I can switch to this.

01:03:17.000 And I think it's funny because when you talk to, not Hasids, that's a pretty intense version of Jews. 1.00

01:03:25.000 Or even Orthodox too, the ones who just wear the Yamakas like Ben Shapiro. 0.92

01:03:28.000 But when you talk to more secular Jews, they go, whew, the South, yeah, they don't like me down there, not a bit. 1.00

01:03:35.000 And I'm like, dude, I've never met one that's ever thought of you.

01:03:39.000 Like in Greenville, there's a church more than once a block.

01:03:42.000 It's sort of like bars in like a cop town upstate.

01:03:46.000 And there's no synagogues, no temples.

01:03:49.000 I started asking Southerners, have you, like, how many Jews have you met?

01:03:54.000 And they go, I've never met a Jew. 0.72

01:03:55.000 I've never come across one.

01:03:56.000 I've never seen a synagogue, never seen a temple.

01:03:58.000 They don't talk about Jews ever.

01:04:00.000 It's sort of like with the gays when I moved to the suburbs and I was like, so what does the gay community feel about this particular measure? 0.88

01:04:07.000 And they're like, the WHO community?

01:04:09.000 What are gays? 0.99

01:04:10.000 I'm realizing now that I've had a pretty, I guess the word is secluded adult life.

01:04:16.000 Being so urban in Montreal and New York gives you a distorted view of what cities are like because there are no secular Jews, Orthodox Jews, or Hasidic Jews in the South.

01:04:27.000 And it's not anti-Semitic down there.

01:04:29.000 They don't talk about Jews.

01:04:31.000 Every time you hear Jews up here, they're like, yeah, I don't like the Jews. 1.00

01:04:35.000 We got someone from New York City reading the New York Times.

01:04:40.000 That's not a thing.

01:04:41.000 They never say any of that.

01:04:43.000 It's the same way the suburbanites feel about gays.

01:04:46.000 Number two, the friendliness is insane.

01:04:49.000 It's bizarre.

01:04:50.000 I told you the other day about how I was looking at this house and I go, that's a beautiful house, man.

01:04:54.000 What a great combination of old and new.

01:04:56.000 And the guy that was driving me around goes, you should say something.

01:04:59.000 And he Pulls over his car.

01:05:01.000 Now, if you were in New York and you said, nice Brownstone, they would go, Are you threatening me?

01:05:04.000 Are you casing the joint?

01:05:05.000 Are you picking a fight?

01:05:07.000 But in the South, you pull over someone and you go, Hey, nice Brownstone, or Brownstone, nice house.

01:05:14.000 And they go, Thanks.

01:05:14.000 But I'd never done anything like that before.

01:05:17.000 So I went to the window and went, Hey, nice house that you have.

01:05:23.000 He's like, Thanks a lot, buddy.

01:05:25.000 People were waving to me.

01:05:27.000 I noticed at one point, this was the craziest one.

01:05:29.000 Someone's waving at me and I can't see because their truck has tinted glass.

01:05:34.000 We're not alone on a dark fucking southern road in the middle of nowhere.

01:05:38.000 We're in downtown.

01:05:40.000 I didn't cross in front of him or anything.

01:05:42.000 I'm just near him.

01:05:43.000 And then I can make out through the tint.

01:05:44.000 He's like, hey, hey guy, what are you doing there?

01:05:48.000 I told you some dude fucking told me I had a great outfit on.

01:05:51.000 I was wearing a t-shirt and khakis.

01:05:55.000 You say hi a lot down there.

01:05:57.000 And it's disarming if you're coming from New York where it's just, fuck you.

01:06:02.000 Robert De Niro's face is like this because you get that face just constantly being like, no, no, we're not doing that.

01:06:08.000 No.

01:06:08.000 And by the way, when you're going through these, you'll notice they're all related.

01:06:13.000 Like everyone has a gun.

01:06:15.000 Everyone goes to church.

01:06:16.000 There's a sense of happiness when you all believe in God together.

01:06:21.000 And one little thing I want to say to the southerners, you keep saying how you'll fucking fight the drop of a hat.

01:06:27.000 Yeah, New Yorkers and Midwesterners, hockey people, we're very familiar with fighting.

01:06:33.000 You're not unique in that sense.

01:06:34.000 You're definitely unique with the gun stuff, but the whole like, I'll fucking fight.

01:06:39.000 Yeah.

01:06:40.000 Gangs.

01:06:41.000 We're familiar with fighting.

01:06:44.000 Number three, no swearing.

01:06:48.000 I noticed when I was talking to people in my normal voice, and I'd be like, this fucking cunt shows up, and she's the shittiest piece of fucking anal garbage. 1.00

01:06:58.000 And as I'm talking, I can see them sort of blink like firecrackers are going off.

01:07:02.000 They're not enjoying the way I talk.

01:07:04.000 They're not complaining.

01:07:05.000 They don't say, could you stop that with the language, please?

01:07:08.000 They just sort of go, oh, okay, I'm not familiar.

01:07:12.000 The meanest thing they say is bless your heart, which says a lot because that's their equivalent of, you're a fucking imbecile.

01:07:19.000 And their worst insult with bless your heart is really saying, oh, you're not dumb.

01:07:25.000 You're naive.

01:07:27.000 And I think that's endearing that you could be living your life knowing so little.

01:07:32.000 And I think that's admirable in a way.

01:07:35.000 I hope the Lord blesses you and your naivete never hurts you.

01:07:40.000 Thanks?

01:07:43.000 I also noticed, I talked about this the other day, when someone said, you want chocolate?

01:07:47.000 I was like, no, thanks.

01:07:48.000 And she was sort of like, oh, fuck, that's mean. 0.96

01:07:50.000 And I realized I should have said, oh, that is the sweetest offer I've ever heard.

01:07:53.000 But I can't have chocolate right now.

01:07:56.000 I'm not in the mood.

01:07:58.000 But I really appreciate you saying that.

01:07:59.000 That's more like a normal no thanks.

01:08:03.000 Number four, this relates to everything.

01:08:06.000 This and the guns are the two biggest ones.

01:08:09.000 Every fucking where.

01:08:11.000 No temples, no synagogues, but there is a church.

01:08:14.000 I've never seen so many churches.

01:08:16.000 And everyone just goes to church.

01:08:17.000 It's not a thing like in New York.

01:08:20.000 Someone goes to church and go, oh, you're religious.

01:08:22.000 Okay, that's nice.

01:08:24.000 No one minds, but it's especially in Manhattan proper.

01:08:26.000 If you go to church, you probably grew up with your dad was a priest.

01:08:30.000 There, going to church is like going to the bathroom.

01:08:32.000 It's kind of an unfortunate analogy, but everyone does it without exception.

01:08:37.000 Beautiful churches everywhere.

01:08:39.000 Lots of different denominations.

01:08:40.000 I don't even get all the differences between Presbyterian and Baptist and all the different Catholic.

01:08:46.000 I don't even understand what Russian Orthodox is.

01:08:48.000 I'll go into any church, really, if it's Christian.

01:08:50.000 I don't give a shit.

01:08:52.000 Protestant, Catholic.

01:08:54.000 Sorry, fellow Catholics, if that's weird to you.

01:08:57.000 But I think when you don't believe in God, you're constantly wondering why we're here.

01:09:02.000 You're in a constant state of confusion.

01:09:05.000 And when you know you're here, you know it's a miracle, you know you're the center of the universe, you know there's no other life out there in the universe, we're the only ones, you know it's a magical gift, miracle that we're here, you're thankful for it, it's very relaxing.

01:09:19.000 It's sort of like, hi, what's going on?

01:09:21.000 We all won the lottery together.

01:09:22.000 Isn't this awesome?

01:09:24.000 And I think that's linked to the friendliness, this sense of purpose you get from believing in God and worshiping God and being thankful every day.

01:09:33.000 So that's cool.

01:09:35.000 Number five, black people don't hate you.

01:09:40.000 Now, in New York, because we fight, there's animosity.

01:09:44.000 There's animosity with blacks and whites all over the place.

01:09:47.000 This is a strange clip to choose for the background because it's some southern black person that's a big Black Lives Matter person.

01:09:53.000 But she's kind of just mimicking Northern culture. 1.00

01:09:59.000 In New York, it's agree to disagree.

01:10:02.000 So there's black neighborhoods, there's white neighborhoods.

01:10:04.000 They don't really mix that much.

01:10:05.000 You'll see blacks and whites hang out, but it's usually hipster blacks who grew up listening to Deaf Leopard and stuff. 0.91

01:10:12.000 They don't really, they have different accents, for fuck's sake, in the same city.

01:10:17.000 But there's no like, fuck you, because I guess there's been so many fights and they know there's a lot of Irish here they're willing to throw down. 1.00

01:10:23.000 So it's just like, stay it in my way, I'll stay it your way.

01:10:26.000 And we don't hate each other, but we don't like each other, generally speaking.

01:10:30.000 Chicago, totally different vibe.

01:10:33.000 Chicago is, you motherfuckers had slavery. 1.00

01:10:37.000 And the white people, which you'd never see in New York, are like, yeah, sorry about that. 0.53

01:10:41.000 That was shitty.

01:10:42.000 It won't happen again.

01:10:43.000 So the blacks in Chicago have this sort of like, what the fuck you looking at attitude. 0.98

01:10:48.000 And the whites have this, I'm sorry, I don't even know what I'm looking at. 0.99

01:10:51.000 I'm sorry.

01:10:52.000 Like when I went to that Chicago museum and Santa was black and all the white people were like, oh, I didn't know this, but that's great. 0.81

01:10:59.000 I love black Santa.

01:11:00.000 That's awesome.

01:11:01.000 I was the only person who complained and said, what if we came to meet Black Panther and he was played by a white dude?

01:11:07.000 Wouldn't that be weird?

01:11:09.000 You're fucking up the fictional character.

01:11:12.000 That was their defense, by the way.

01:11:13.000 Well, he did a state farm on me where he's like, well, it's fictional, so.

01:11:19.000 Okay, why not make him a chick with huge tits then, you asshole? 1.00

01:11:25.000 Number six, holy shit, are they armed?

01:11:29.000 Armed to the teeth.

01:11:30.000 I met a dude who has hundreds of guns.

01:11:33.000 I mean, a lot of gun stores don't have hundreds of guns.

01:11:37.000 They've got the concealed carry, they've got the open carry, they've got the fucking AR-15s, they got the rifles.

01:11:44.000 They are armed to the fucking teeth.

01:11:47.000 And that might have a lot to do with the whole lack of racial tension and the whole everyone's friendly thing.

01:11:53.000 I mean, it just, there's still crime, there's still poverty, but the crime is like, it's mostly black-on-black thugs and it's gang-related.

01:12:03.000 There's not a lot of, you know, home invasions.

01:12:05.000 People leave their doors open.

01:12:07.000 The gangsters are the ones killing each other.

01:12:10.000 But yeah, that's really a great reason to move there.

01:12:14.000 It's just the idea of just everyone having a gun on their hip.

01:12:19.000 More guns, less crime.

01:12:23.000 Number seven.

01:12:25.000 Okay, dude, the chicken.

01:12:28.000 I don't know what is going on.

01:12:29.000 I think they purposely don't let us in the North have their chicken.

01:12:35.000 It's the juiciest.

01:12:37.000 It's not even...

01:12:38.000 It's not the chicken I'm used to.

01:12:40.000 Like, it's dripping.

01:12:42.000 It's blindingly white.

01:12:45.000 It's feathery and fluffy.

01:12:47.000 And when you bite into it, it's like biting into a grape or something.

01:12:52.000 Like, the juiciness explodes.

01:12:55.000 My mouth is watering just looking at this fucking chicken.

01:12:57.000 I'm going to go to KFC after this, which is a pale imitation of the chicken down there.

01:13:03.000 I kind of got mad when I was eating it.

01:13:05.000 I was like, you're fucking hiding this from us?

01:13:07.000 Fuck you.

01:13:09.000 You can't throw us three a week?

01:13:12.000 Occasional little dip into your chicken paradise?

01:13:17.000 I could make this whole green screen about chicken in the South.

01:13:20.000 It's angeringly good.

01:13:24.000 Number eight.

01:13:26.000 Again, I'm not exactly, I can concede I might not be the biggest expert in the South, but they don't day drink.

01:13:35.000 I don't know if, do we call New Orleans the South?

01:13:38.000 Is Louisiana the South?

01:13:40.000 They day drink in New Orleans, for sure.

01:13:42.000 You can fucking get a strawberry daiquiri 24 hours a day.

01:13:46.000 But these honky-tonks and the dive bars there, they're pretty much completely dead in the day.

01:13:52.000 And there's dead and there's dead.

01:13:54.000 Like if you go to a New York bar in the day, there might only be three or four people there, but they're regulars and it's a normal thing.

01:14:00.000 If you go to a dive bar in the day in the south, there's like two tourists and a guy who's fixing the pipes.

01:14:06.000 Like they're not regulars and the place is about to be empty.

01:14:09.000 It's fucking jammed at night, but it seems to be predominantly young people.

01:14:14.000 I'm 52 years old, so I'm not seeing a lot of people my age.

01:14:18.000 And that might be a weather thing.

01:14:20.000 People avoid going out in the day.

01:14:23.000 But, oh, man, I just remembered when we were in, where were we, Tennessee?

01:14:30.000 What's the country music place?

01:14:34.000 Nashville.

01:14:35.000 I think we were in Nashville or near there.

01:14:38.000 I had a fried bologna sandwich, which is just a BLT, but the B is fried bologna.

01:14:46.000 And that was in a packed bar at night.

01:14:47.000 But day drinking, not really a thing.

01:14:50.000 And that could be the heat.

01:14:51.000 It could be the religion thing.

01:14:52.000 It's kind of a sin to drink in the day.

01:14:55.000 It's weird for me as a heavy day drinker.

01:14:57.000 I don't like drinking at night.

01:14:58.000 Fucks up your whole next morning.

01:15:02.000 Number nine, they don't honk.

01:15:06.000 Now, here in New York, there are times when I've been looking at the green, ready to go.

01:15:13.000 I've hit the gas when it goes green.

01:15:14.000 I still get honked at.

01:15:16.000 You can be on time with the green, but unless you're whipping your Maxwell tape ad the second it turns green, people are like, what the fuck?

01:15:25.000 That was a nanosecond.

01:15:27.000 What's going on with you?

01:15:28.000 And I think I heard Nate Bergatzi do a stand-up routine about this where he was sort of shocked when he moved to the north and everyone was honking at him all the time.

01:15:35.000 Dude, you fucking honk here.

01:15:38.000 And I don't even mind it, too, because half the time someone's on their phone.

01:15:42.000 So you're not saying move it, fuckface. 0.98

01:15:44.000 You're saying, hey, buddy, it's green.

01:15:45.000 Get off your phone.

01:15:46.000 We got to go.

01:15:47.000 And so the guy who you honk at doesn't go, hey, cool it, shithead.

01:15:51.000 He's like, oh, shit, what am I doing?

01:15:52.000 Sorry.

01:15:53.000 Or if I space out a little bit, I'm happy that someone went, hey, dude, you're spacing out.

01:15:58.000 When I was down there last time in South Carolina, it's a fucking green 11,000 two. 0.99

01:16:04.000 This is unthinkable in the Northeast.

01:16:06.000 11,000, 21,000 through four fucking seconds. 0.96

01:16:10.000 I'm five cars back.

01:16:12.000 I just went like, fuck, this is insane.

01:16:15.000 And then everyone in the lineup went, Jesus, someone's in a rush.

01:16:18.000 They're not even mad at me.

01:16:19.000 They're like, he must have a pregnant wife who's about to give birth. 1.00

01:16:22.000 He's got to get to the hospital.

01:16:23.000 And then the person at the front was like, shit, I better get going.

01:16:28.000 I wouldn't be surprised if in the South, they'll do an entire cycle of a light and just be like, he fucked up.

01:16:35.000 That's his, that's on him.

01:16:36.000 You know, I'm not, I ain't mad.

01:16:41.000 Number 10.

01:16:43.000 I think I'm the first person who ever discovered this, but it's hot as balls.

01:16:47.000 When we were doing the SPLC thing in Alabama, the guy I was talking to, I was like, so what's it like there?

01:16:56.000 Ooh, 79.

01:16:57.000 That's rough.

01:16:58.000 Look at all those 70s.

01:17:00.000 73.

01:17:02.000 Woo-wee.

01:17:04.000 No, it gets over 100.

01:17:06.000 It gets Death Valley hot.

01:17:08.000 And the guy, he was a southerner, but he'd never lived in Alabama.

01:17:12.000 Oh, there we are.

01:17:13.000 Wait, that's the guy I'm talking about right there.

01:17:15.000 Holy shit.

01:17:17.000 And he said, yeah, it took me about seven years to get used to the summers here.

01:17:20.000 Seven years.

01:17:23.000 And I've noticed, too, you can't really wear shorts.

01:17:25.000 You don't wear shorts because when you get in somewhere, it's air-conditioned.

01:17:29.000 So you're fucking freezing.

01:17:30.000 So you have to wear pants.

01:17:32.000 And I think the mentality is just sweat to death.

01:17:36.000 Just accept it that you're going to have to change your shirt twice a day.

01:17:40.000 I talked to Jim Goat about this.

01:17:42.000 He calls himself a cold weather faggot or something like that. 1.00

01:17:45.000 I'm a hot weather faggot.

01:17:46.000 I don't understand how these people can just bake for two months.

01:17:51.000 But the beauty of North Carolina, South Carolina, Eastern Tennessee is it's not Alabama true over 100 heat.

01:17:59.000 Birmingham, Like, look at that.

01:18:01.000 101 degrees.

01:18:04.000 I remember I was in Las Vegas once on a roof at a Westfest thing.

01:18:09.000 And it's like there's a stopwatch.

01:18:11.000 If you're by the pool, you get in the water, which is ice water, even though it's boiling hot.

01:18:16.000 And you get out, and it's like, all right, you have about five minutes to survive out here.

01:18:22.000 Your beer's going to turn into molten lava, and then you have to jump back into the pool or you'll die.

01:18:27.000 So I guess that's how they handle it in the South.

01:18:30.000 They just go from thing to thing, and they hide out.

01:18:32.000 I mean, I'm from Canada.

01:18:33.000 In January and February, we couldn't really go outside.

01:18:36.000 So I guess their January and February is July and August in reverse.

01:18:40.000 Anyway, it's a corny thing to talk about when you're talking about the South, but I only had nine things, so I had to put heat at the end.

01:18:49.000 I'm willing to put up with heat to get away from the psychotic liberal locus that are cheerily destroying everything good about New York.

01:19:14.000 I want to hate fuck you.

01:19:17.000 Any of those pussy riot girls can hate fuck me any day of the week. 1.00

01:19:22.000 Before we get to the letters page, I just want to briefly discuss something that can't relate to Monday.

01:19:26.000 This bizarre war on farmers that's going on.

01:19:31.000 All over the place.

01:19:32.000 We talked about the Netherlands before, where the government has decided that farmers are polluting the environment.

01:19:40.000 We need to cut down on cattle because their farts are bad for the ozone.

01:19:45.000 What?

01:19:46.000 And then we find out it's a lie.

01:19:47.000 They're pretending to care about climate change.

01:19:49.000 But what they're really doing is trying to get land from farmers so they can invite refugees and build housing projects for refugees because refugees will vote for them. 0.99

01:20:02.000 It's kind of an argument against democracy in a sense.

01:20:05.000 We should go back to monarchies.

01:20:08.000 And then we had the Bundies, right?

01:20:09.000 The ranches where they were pushing out all the ranchers so they could just have the land.

01:20:13.000 And I don't know, do what with it.

01:20:15.000 I don't think they were doing that for refugees.

01:20:17.000 But there seems to be a bizarre thing going on where the globalists, the elites, and Joe Biden is included in that, want our shelves to be bare.

01:20:29.000 Now, the only theories I've heard that make sense is when you control the food supply, you control the people.

01:20:36.000 And when we're starving to death and we're told we can only eat bugs, we'll do whatever the fuck you tell us to do.

01:20:42.000 And that's not a good thing.

01:20:43.000 So here's an example that sparked all this.

01:20:45.000 This is obviously not a common national trend, but it is indicative of what the government does when we become independent.

01:20:54.000 Look at this Amish farm shut down by the feds.

01:20:59.000 Feds shut down Amos Miller's operation.

01:21:02.000 Armed feds pay visits to Amish Farmer faces hundreds of thousands of fines.

01:21:06.000 Amos Miller, an farmer who runs holistically managed farm in Han, Pennsylvania, grows and prepares food in tune with nature the way he believes God intended.

01:21:18.000 This seems like a sound idea to the approximately 4,000 customers purchased Miller's meat, eggs, dairy products from his private members-only food club.

01:21:28.000 Now, he had to start a members-only food club because there's some kind of regulation over there that's stopping him from just having the general public come to his store.

01:21:37.000 He's doing the workaround, just like everybody does.

01:21:40.000 The federal government, however, appears to disagree, right?

01:21:43.000 A federal judge recently ordered Miller to cease and desist all meat sales.

01:21:47.000 Organic Wellness reported U.S. Marshals were deployed to search Miller's property.

01:21:52.000 And then they inventory the stock to assure that he doesn't sell or slaughter any more animals.

01:21:57.000 The Fed shut down Amos Miller's operation.

01:22:01.000 Just like Henry Kissinger said, control the food, control the people. 0.79

01:22:04.000 Miller claims he's being persecuted by the federal government for practicing his religious beliefs and religious freedoms to grow and prepare food according to his religious belief.

01:22:15.000 Easy with the jump cuts, guys.

01:22:18.000 Fed shut down Amos Miller.

01:22:20.000 You see that?

01:22:20.000 They're cutting out nanoseconds.

01:22:24.000 Did you know Malcolm Glabo was Amish, by the way?

01:22:26.000 Amish? 0.84

01:22:27.000 I didn't know that.

01:22:29.000 Yeah.

01:22:30.000 Joe, what is going on here?

01:22:33.000 What is it, man?

01:22:34.000 You can't go around.

01:22:36.000 You can't go around.

01:22:38.000 Excuse me.

01:22:39.000 You can't go around.

01:22:40.000 Serve me, though.

01:22:42.000 People come out here.

01:22:43.000 Come on, man.

01:22:44.000 I can't hear you.

01:22:46.000 Can't go around Chinese America, man. 1.00

01:22:52.000 Speaking of America, we have China buying up thousands of acres of farmland. 0.79

01:22:57.000 So we have a food shortage on the one hand, and at the same time, we're losing our farmland to foreign interests and billionaires.

01:23:06.000 That's not the way it should go.

01:23:10.000 If we have a food shortage, we should be stimulating the economy.

01:23:14.000 We should be helping farmers.

01:23:16.000 We should be allowing them to grow, and we should be restricting these monopolies.

01:23:22.000 China is buying up American farms.

01:23:23.000 Washington wants to crack down.

01:23:25.000 No, Washington is more concerned with Trump having classified documents, which apparently they've since discovered today.

01:23:33.000 Yeah, of course they're classified documents.

01:23:37.000 You're going through...

01:23:38.000 What about every president has documents that are not perfectly declassified the day of when he's still president?

01:23:46.000 It's essentially a document typo.

01:23:50.000 What is he stealing classified documents?

01:23:52.000 For what purpose?

01:23:54.000 Anyway, and Bill Gates, too, he's buying up thousands of acres of farmland.

01:24:00.000 He says, he was asked why he's doing that.

01:24:03.000 He goes, the agriculture sector is important.

01:24:05.000 With more productive seeds, we can avoid deforestation and help Africa deal with the climate difficulty they already face.

01:24:14.000 Is there something lower on my priority list?

01:24:17.000 I guess French kissing my dad and helping Africa deal with their climate troubles are about on par on number 6,432. 0.87

01:24:28.000 It's unclear how cheap Biofuels can be, but if they are cheap, it can solve the aviation and truck emissions.

01:24:35.000 Like, that's one of the craziest things I've ever heard in my life.

01:24:38.000 And then, finally, on this topic, John Levine was on a little road trip.

01:24:43.000 The guy from the Washington Post, ex-liberal, gay dude, friend of Ann Coulter. 0.71

01:24:47.000 I still don't know how I feel about him, but he does good reporting.

01:24:50.000 And he's out and about, and he goes, what the fuck's going on with the shelves here in Bayonne, New Jersey?

01:24:56.000 Did we lose a war?

01:24:58.000 I saw another video on Grindface where this guy was going through the entire grocery store, and it wasn't sparse.

01:25:04.000 It was zero.

01:25:06.000 You know, when the vegetarian shit is gone, we're really in trouble. 1.00

01:25:10.000 So what's going on here, guys?

01:25:12.000 Help me out.

01:25:14.000 This is bizarre.

01:25:17.000 Maybe I should stop making fun of the third world because we're becoming there. 1.00

01:25:21.000 We're becoming the third world.

01:25:23.000 We have the same shelves as Venezuela, the same shelves as Cuba, and our FBI treats our citizens the same way they do in dictatorships.

01:25:36.000 Anyway, on that cheery note, let's get to the mailbag.

01:25:41.000 But this could die at any second.

01:25:43.000 Shut up, you don't have a damn. 1.00

01:25:47.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

01:25:52.000 Let me touch it.

01:25:55.000 All right.

01:25:56.000 We are on thin ice here.

01:25:58.000 The gas tank is on E. Hey, Gavin and Ryan.

01:26:02.000 I thought you guys would enjoy this.

01:26:03.000 I work at a shit plant in California and had to pull Excalibur out of a valve this morning.

01:26:08.000 That's all raw sewage.

01:26:10.000 Shitty job, but someone's got to do it.

01:26:13.000 I think this would be somewhat possible if...

01:26:19.000 Wait, why is it sideways?

01:26:22.000 It's not sideways on my thing.

01:26:24.000 Look at that poor bastard getting drenched in shit. 0.73

01:26:29.000 They got Excalibur out.

01:26:31.000 But look at him.

01:26:33.000 He's got to close it up afterwards.

01:26:35.000 That's clearly not shit, man.

01:26:37.000 That's footage from Charlie's Chocolate Factory.

01:26:40.000 Oh.

01:26:41.000 You ever seen Charlie's Chocolate Factory?

01:26:43.000 Go around singing around the song and I don't know.

01:26:46.000 I mean, I hope there's a shower that you can run to and go, oh, like when Kimberly Gilflow saw me wiping my ass.

01:26:52.000 You run to the shower and get it off.

01:26:55.000 But does he have to work like that for the rest of the day?

01:26:59.000 Jesus.

01:27:00.000 I'm failing to comprehend that being shit.

01:27:04.000 Well, whatever helps you sleep at night.

01:27:06.000 Yeah.

01:27:07.000 Gavin needs his t-shirt and it says, stop standing up when the plane lands.

01:27:12.000 Actually, you know, it's ironic, sir.

01:27:13.000 I have to stand up as a butt boy when the plane lands to make sure no one stops.

01:27:19.000 Because if you just sit in your chair, the guys that don't read that t-shirt are going to breeze past you.

01:27:26.000 So I'm at the point now, I always get aisle seats, and the second the plane stops, I'm up and I'm standing.

01:27:39.000 We got that one already.

01:27:41.000 That was the machete guy.

01:27:46.000 Hey, gay and Lord of the Fag Zone and Maddie. 0.99

01:27:50.000 I'm probably one of your youngest BMs.

01:27:51.000 I'm currently not opposed.

01:27:52.000 He's 22.

01:27:53.000 I'm currently not opposed to settling down already, but based on your philosophy, should I just propose to this chick I've been sleeping with for the past year? 1.00

01:27:59.000 We get along fairly well, but I don't exactly see a future.

01:28:02.000 Or just ditch her and find someone I want to marry.

01:28:04.000 From your perspective, what age is it too late to be getting married?

01:28:07.000 I said on last episode of Compound Censors that you're concerned you told your BMs to get married too early. 0.55

01:28:13.000 So I just want to clarify.

01:28:14.000 Well, it's not really my job to make the decision for you, but I don't know, try moving in with her.

01:28:19.000 And if you haven't had a drop-down drag out fight in six months, she's probably the one. 0.93

01:28:24.000 I would also say people have to stop expecting their soulmate.

01:28:28.000 Naomi Schaefer-Reilly writes about this.

01:28:30.000 You're not going to be, it's not going to be Romeo and Juliet the whole time.

01:28:34.000 If she's compatible and you guys get along, the sex is good and you have a lot in common, just fucking do it.

01:28:41.000 If there's things about her that you hate and you have really big differences, like she's a slob and you're a neat freak, that might not be compatible. 1.00

01:28:54.000 But give it a whirl.

01:28:58.000 There's another guy who had a point about his girlfriend's brother being trans and him not wanting to do that because he didn't want his future kids to be brainwashed.

01:29:22.000 No, it's not it.

01:29:25.000 No, it's not Brittany.

01:29:28.000 Gays are mentally ill straights. 1.00

01:29:30.000 Anyway, I'll just tell that to you.

01:29:32.000 So the guy said, I'm dating this girl.

01:29:34.000 We're getting along great.

01:29:35.000 I'm thinking of marrying her, but she just told me her brother is trans.

01:29:39.000 And I don't, I'm very Christian.

01:29:42.000 I know my parents are going to shit their pants when they find out about that.

01:29:46.000 And I also, I don't want this guy brainwashing my kids as he gets older and telling them that the genders don't matter and all that stuff.

01:29:54.000 And to that guy, I would say, you're not marrying her brother.

01:29:58.000 You're not marrying her family.

01:30:00.000 And that family has no influence on you and her.

01:30:03.000 Now, if she's into trans and she's really eager to let her four-year-old become a girl, well, that I would be a little more wary of. 1.00

01:30:11.000 But don't let the love of your life get away from you because you don't agree with her brother.

01:30:19.000 I see my wife's brother like once a year at the most.

01:30:24.000 He's not going to be a part of your life.

01:30:25.000 Don't let him dictate your future.

01:30:26.000 These trainees have already done enough fucking damage. 1.00

01:30:31.000 Men are the greatest, this says.

01:30:33.000 This dude was literally run over by a fucking train.

01:30:35.000 He lost his leg and his hand, and still, he's just a grateful, funny dude.

01:30:39.000 Women still won't shut up about not being able to vote 100 years ago, but this dude's life is changed forever, and he's just like, meh, no biggie, could be worse.

01:30:48.000 When I woke up, I was confused.

01:30:49.000 I was a little sore, you know.

01:30:51.000 Definitely didn't feel like I was ran over by a train, but I still had this leg.

01:30:56.000 This leg was still there.

01:30:58.000 And I couldn't move my toes.

01:30:59.000 They tried to make me wiggle my toes for a few days.

01:31:01.000 And they couldn't find a heartbeat, nothing like that.

01:31:04.000 So, I mean, it was just my choice.

01:31:06.000 I told them just to cut that fucking thing off.

01:31:08.000 I didn't want it.

01:31:09.000 So, the leg, I mean, that was my choice.

01:31:10.000 It wasn't even the train's fucking choice to take that leg.

01:31:13.000 And then the train's choice was wrapped up like a lot.

01:31:17.000 And I kind of thought my hand was like this.

01:31:19.000 I thought they wrapped my hand up like that until they switched my bandages and I seen it.

01:31:24.000 But I don't know.

01:31:25.000 It really hasn't affected me.

01:31:27.000 You know, I mean, it sucks a little bit.

01:31:28.000 The only time I feel handicapped.

01:31:30.000 Does he do anything?

01:31:31.000 What?

01:31:33.000 If he lives a sedentary lifestyle, I mean, nothing changes.

01:31:36.000 Well, we're getting to that.

01:31:37.000 On a golf course right now, I literally went from like a 40 golfer to like a 60 goffer.

01:31:42.000 That's the only time I feel like I have one leg and seven fingers is on a golf course.

01:31:46.000 But other than that, I could care less.

01:31:48.000 I don't know how to explain it.

01:31:49.000 I don't care.

01:31:53.000 You know what would be good for pussy? 1.00

01:31:55.000 You get some like these three fingers that are gone.

01:31:58.000 You get these black. 1.00

01:32:02.000 What a great conversation starter at a bar.

01:32:05.000 You just pick up your beer and your other fingers follow this finger.

01:32:10.000 You get a robot hand.

01:32:12.000 Yeah.

01:32:12.000 A lot of people, they come to this country, they don't know how robotics work, man.

01:32:17.000 You know, the Wright brothers, they made the first airplane, but the first butt boys were right there by to make sure the aisle way. 0.99

01:32:23.000 You got to clear the check bag.

01:32:25.000 There was no aisles in the Wright Brothers planes.

01:32:27.000 You got a commercial carry-on.

01:32:29.000 We didn't get aisles till like, I don't know, the 50s?

01:32:31.000 You got to do that little button and press it back and lean back in your seat, man.

01:32:35.000 It's American.

01:32:36.000 No, that was probably the 70s.

01:32:39.000 When I was a kid riding planes, going to Scotland, there was an ashtray in the plane.

01:32:45.000 You saw that?

01:32:46.000 They still have those because of old planes, you know.

01:32:49.000 Have you ever been on a plane with an ashtray?

01:32:51.000 Yes.

01:32:52.000 Yes.

01:32:52.000 With the little...

01:32:53.000 It's in the arm of the seat.

01:32:55.000 I'm from the 90s.

01:32:56.000 I mean, I was born in 1889.

01:32:58.000 I remember the little ashtray.

01:32:59.000 Hey, homos, love you.

01:33:00.000 By the way, how is the wife regarding the move?

01:33:03.000 She's not ecstatic.

01:33:04.000 Why don't you just move to a red country county nearby?

01:33:08.000 I know, I get that.

01:33:09.000 I could move a little bit north to Darian, Connecticut.

01:33:12.000 I could move to Jersey.

01:33:13.000 I could move to Long Island.

01:33:15.000 It'd be the same.

01:33:15.000 But then I feel like, why move four miles away?

01:33:20.000 I already tried that.

01:33:21.000 But I get your argument.

01:33:23.000 You get on this slippery slope, though, with moving.

01:33:25.000 Where you're like, why not Australia?

01:33:28.000 Oh, because I'm banned.

01:33:30.000 This one's just called Tactical Walls.

01:33:32.000 I haven't talked to that dude in a long time.

01:33:34.000 That's fucking awesome, though.

01:33:36.000 Bryce is good peeps.

01:33:38.000 He's always throwing $100 towards the boys, frankly.

01:33:42.000 Great guys.

01:33:43.000 Great guy.

01:33:44.000 I have no idea how much we've raised with those super chats.

01:33:46.000 Neither do I. Every time I ask our tech guy, he's got bigger fish to fry.

01:33:50.000 He's like, I'll tell you later.

01:33:51.000 He's like, they're not getting out in a while.

01:33:53.000 Gavin, a couple weeks ago, a caller mentioned how China and Russia will be creating their own currency based on precious metals.

01:33:58.000 The United States only has one option left, invade Uganda. 0.87

01:34:01.000 Open the attached link and you'll understand why we must do this.

01:34:04.000 Uganda finds 31 MT.

01:34:08.000 What does that mean?

01:34:09.000 Mountains of gold ready to be mined?

01:34:13.000 Signs up Chinese firm.

01:34:15.000 See, this pisses me off because while we're invading Mar-a-Lago and talking about Britney fucking tranny basketball player and saying white supremacy is the number one threat, everyone is buying up our farms and fucking taking away gold that we should be getting.

01:34:34.000 That's a contract that America should have, not fucking China. 0.99

01:34:39.000 We're getting our asses handed to us by these fucking rice balls. 1.00

01:34:44.000 Here's a guy saying he bought the G-Sauce.

01:34:46.000 Just got it today.

01:34:47.000 Pretty good stuff.

01:34:47.000 Sweet, but also spicy.

01:34:49.000 Got married three weeks ago.

01:34:50.000 Gonna knock this lady up soon. 1.00

01:34:52.000 Hmm.

01:34:53.000 Congratulations.

01:34:57.000 This guy is saying black Twitter or KKK.

01:35:01.000 What is BBT Country Club and how do I get verified?

01:35:05.000 What are country club threads?

01:35:06.000 Blah, blah, blah.

01:35:07.000 How to get verified.

01:35:09.000 If you're black, send us a mod mail with a picture of your forearm beside a handwritten note with your username.

01:35:14.000 Upload the photo and let us know you're applying as black so we can flag you appropriately. 1.00

01:35:21.000 If you're non-white, person of color, please send us a mod mail, blah, blah, blah, with your forearm. 1.00

01:35:27.000 Forearms are crucial to all of these.

01:35:29.000 I guess they don't undo their face.

01:35:31.000 We consider non-white people of color to include, but are not limited to, Latinos, Asians, Middle Easterners, and native slash Indigenous peoples.

01:35:39.000 Natives must be excited to be so integral, such an integral part of the conversation these days.

01:35:45.000 No one talked about Indians 10 years ago.

01:35:48.000 Now it's like black and indigenous. 0.99

01:35:50.000 They're right at the top.

01:35:51.000 They must be like, oh, okay.

01:35:53.000 Hey, hello.

01:35:55.000 Thank you for getting us up here.

01:35:58.000 I don't really have much to say.

01:36:00.000 We'd like our land back.

01:36:02.000 And I wouldn't mind a vodka martini while we're at it.

01:36:08.000 If you're applying as a white ally, what about racists?

01:36:13.000 This country club is not allowing racists in.

01:36:16.000 Please send us a mod mail explicitly stating you're applying as a white ally.

01:36:21.000 If you're approved, you will receive a message.

01:36:23.000 If you're a non-white POC, please send a mod mail. 1.00

01:36:27.000 We already read that.

01:36:28.000 Oh, yeah.

01:36:28.000 I'm reading the same thing twice.

01:36:31.000 So that is...

01:36:33.000 Isn't that illegal?

01:36:35.000 Isn't it illegal to have race-based clubs? 0.98

01:36:42.000 This guy's talking about Britney Spears yesterday.

01:36:44.000 We were going through the brutal treatment she was getting from her spoiled, rotten kids. 1.00

01:36:49.000 Gav and Maddie, this would never happen with my mo. 0.98

01:36:51.000 You cunt.

01:36:51.000 She'd tell you where to go.

01:36:53.000 You know who want you to wear shoes, young grief, a wee bastard. 0.99

01:36:56.000 If I was off school, if you asked for something to eat, she would say, folk who don't go to school can't have stuff to eat.

01:37:04.000 This is an interesting one.

01:37:07.000 Hi, Gabman and Fag Boy. 0.96

01:37:09.000 I've been seeing this hot chick for a few months. 1.00

01:37:10.000 She's cool as shit, and I'm into her for a lot of reasons, but she used to be fat, like over 200 pounds. 1.00

01:37:15.000 We did read this yesterday.

01:37:16.000 Oh, we did?

01:37:17.000 Yes.

01:37:17.000 Also, the Jamie one, too.

01:37:19.000 Oh, shit.

01:37:20.000 He's Scottish, by the way.

01:37:21.000 He's a guy that writes it a lot.

01:37:22.000 Oh, really?

01:37:23.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:37:24.000 Oh, they have orange flags.

01:37:28.000 I wasn't drunk yesterday.

01:37:30.000 Oh, I see Brooke Goldstein.

01:37:32.000 I breezed through that really fast.

01:37:34.000 I know her.

01:37:35.000 She's fucking awesome.

01:37:38.000 Yeah, she tried to get me to go to this Constitution camp. 0.99

01:37:44.000 It's an intensive four-day class where you have to be sponsored by someone else, and you just sit there all day going through the Constitution and learning about it.

01:37:54.000 And by the time you're done your four-day thing, you're a fucking raging expert.

01:37:58.000 It's like eight hours a day.

01:38:00.000 Then you go for drinks later and shit.

01:38:03.000 I don't know why I didn't do that.

01:38:05.000 A good would you rather.

01:38:07.000 Die right now or never die.

01:38:10.000 Hmm.

01:38:12.000 Die right now.

01:38:14.000 Okay.

01:38:15.000 Daphne just lost her father.

01:38:17.000 She's following the tradition of the Katsus. 1.00

01:38:19.000 She'll understand.

01:38:20.000 What?

01:38:21.000 She'll understand.

01:38:21.000 Well, to never die would be...

01:38:24.000 That's inhuman.

01:38:27.000 Yeah, I'm going with never die.

01:38:29.000 I want my kids to have a dad.

01:38:32.000 And the cool part is, I'm moving to East New York.

01:38:37.000 Hey.

01:38:38.000 Pull your fucking pants up. 0.95

01:38:40.000 Yeah.

01:38:40.000 What are you doing?

01:38:42.000 You look like shit.

01:38:43.000 And you, with the clown eyelashes and the shower cap, you're wearing a tank top and stupid sweatshorts and then your Crocs with your fucking ankle socks.

01:38:54.000 You think you're sexy?

01:38:55.000 Why are you strutting around?

01:38:56.000 You look like you're under house arrest.

01:38:57.000 Oh, your boyfriend has a gun.

01:38:59.000 Oh, no.

01:39:00.000 That means that you don't look ridiculous.

01:39:02.000 You shoot me all day.

01:39:04.000 You're still embarrassing.

01:39:07.000 Goodbye.

01:39:10.000 Okay, so now you win the argument because you shot me.

01:39:14.000 Stop it! 0.99

01:39:16.000 Okay, now I got to get a whole new suit.

01:39:19.000 Every piece of clothing I have would look like Swiss cheese.

01:39:24.000 It still hurt.

01:39:25.000 It feels like a BB gun.

01:39:27.000 Then they would probably come hang out with you and be like, you know that invisible nigga, he down the street. 1.00

01:39:32.000 Be like, yo, you know what?

01:39:33.000 Yo, what's up, invisible?

01:39:36.000 Yo, we got to rob a bank together, my man.

01:39:38.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:39:39.000 Shut up, Jaquan.

01:39:42.000 Well, I would hope they start worshiping me because I'm clearly magic.

01:39:46.000 They would try to get you to, yeah, yeah.

01:39:48.000 Fucking do some job.

01:39:49.000 Like, you would start a cult.

01:39:50.000 It would be some bizarre cult because they'd think you were special.

01:39:53.000 I'd be like, I am special.

01:39:55.000 Yeah.

01:39:56.000 Like, I'm Jesus levels.

01:39:58.000 The invincible honkies, and then you're the only honky.

01:40:02.000 But maybe we could finally take Antifa.

01:40:04.000 Yeah.

01:40:05.000 Whatever you want, Giv.

01:40:07.000 What tips do you have for dating advice to settle down? 0.95

01:40:11.000 I met a girl we connect on politics and religion.

01:40:13.000 She wants a big family and is in her late 20s.

01:40:15.000 I don't want to be an ass like you and waste her good years.

01:40:18.000 What is a good timeline to date and how often to recommend seeing each other throughout the week?

01:40:24.000 We've been dating for a month and see each other four to five days.

01:40:28.000 I know this isn't very traditional Christian, but that's way too early to even think about marriage.

01:40:32.000 I think you got to go.

01:40:34.000 I think nine months is a good amount of time.

01:40:36.000 It's good enough time for a baby.

01:40:39.000 Let your love gestate.

01:40:41.000 I would say like around a year if you're dating and you're getting along.

01:40:45.000 Move in with her at like eight months.

01:40:47.000 Live in sin.

01:40:49.000 And if it's still going well, throw a ring on it.

01:40:51.000 But 29, you better hurry.

01:40:56.000 Oh, here's the one.

01:40:57.000 Oh, wait, no, this one's weird.

01:41:00.000 I've been casually seeing a woman for three years.

01:41:02.000 She has two kids, is divorced, and claims not to want any more children or a serious relationship ever again.

01:41:07.000 The end.

01:41:09.000 This being said, she's deeply in love with me.

01:41:11.000 Too bad.

01:41:13.000 Furthermore, I know that she does desire an actual relationship with me despite her verbal denial of this truth.

01:41:20.000 It depends how old she is. 1.00

01:41:21.000 I've always been upfront and honest about not wanting a relationship because she's been married and already has children.

01:41:26.000 Am I wasting this attractive 30-year-old's time?

01:41:28.000 Yes.

01:41:29.000 Cut your losses.

01:41:30.000 Get the fuck out of there.

01:41:31.000 P.S. I'm a 26-year-old grad student with a bright future.

01:41:34.000 No, no, no.

01:41:36.000 Stop banging this chick. 1.00

01:41:38.000 It's cruel.

01:41:43.000 Okay, last one.

01:41:45.000 I found another video of a hardworking Gen Z woman in the corporate world. 1.00

01:41:48.000 I've worked in oil, gas, corporate for years.

01:41:50.000 That shit would not fly here.

01:41:52.000 He says, proud of your boy.

01:41:55.000 Just one minute.

01:41:58.000 One minute.

01:42:01.000 That's my mistress's. 0.94

01:42:03.000 Hey, Mon.

01:42:04.000 It's hard.

01:42:05.000 It's been getting later and later every single day.

01:42:07.000 I'm lucky if I leave my apartment before 10 a.m.

01:42:10.000 And if it's nice outside, I'll bike to work.

01:42:12.000 After a 20-minute commute, my first stop is the barista.

01:42:14.000 Yes, my company hired an award-winning barista to work here every Thursday.

01:42:18.000 Hey, look at this.

01:42:19.000 It's not even good.

01:42:20.000 What is that?

01:42:21.000 Is that like a teddy bear's face?

01:42:23.000 Custom latte art.

01:42:24.000 Thank you so much.

01:42:25.000 Even though I'm a big huge reorganization at the office, and I was thrilled to find my new desk by the window with this.

01:42:30.000 He probably just said he was an award-winning barista.

01:42:33.000 Desk setup, which is just an accumulation of Long Island City, I guess.

01:42:37.000 Free swag.

01:42:38.000 After coffee, I have about one hour to work before stand-up and then lunch.

01:42:41.000 I usually go out for lunch and get takeout.

01:42:44.000 Today, I took it back to the office to eat and hang out with interns.

01:42:47.000 I unfortunately can't show myself a little bit of a bad one.

01:42:49.000 But I'll show you some of the healthy snacks that I like to eat.

01:42:52.000 A few hours of coding and many work breaks later.

01:42:54.000 I hit the gym around five or six.

01:42:56.000 Okay, now stop.

01:42:57.000 This all bothers us, right?

01:42:59.000 But why?

01:42:59.000 It's not communism.

01:43:00.000 It's the free market.

01:43:02.000 Her coding must have incredible value in the market.

01:43:08.000 I'm as annoyed as you, don't get me wrong.

01:43:10.000 But it doesn't violate our free market rules.

01:43:13.000 And as, you know, conservative, libertarian, whatever you want to call us, not lefts, we have to just ignore this, I'm afraid.

01:43:21.000 I rushed to meet my friends for drinks and some light food before heading to a company party.

01:43:26.000 And I can't believe my company threw this kind of event.

01:43:28.000 Besides food and energy.

01:43:30.000 I've been there.

01:43:31.000 We had these airless performing in a DJ.

01:43:34.000 Definitely not a target.

01:43:34.000 That would just bother me.

01:43:35.000 There wasn't that gay shit happening there, though. 1.00

01:43:38.000 Where is that?

01:43:39.000 Lower East.

01:43:41.000 Oh, wait, near the High Line.

01:43:44.000 All right, let's get to the final video here.

01:43:46.000 The maids are trying to clean up.

01:43:51.000 Sorry.

01:44:04.000 Can't believe my computer survived that.

01:44:06.000 Maybe the low battery warning is a fucking bluff.

01:44:10.000 Like when we were visiting Max and John upstate and we were on E for like five miles below E. Let's end on a high note here.

01:44:19.000 It's Friday.

01:44:20.000 We want to have a fun weekend.

01:44:21.000 Like I say every weekend, get off your phone.

01:44:24.000 Avoid your phone as much as possible.

01:44:26.000 Stare into space.

01:44:27.000 You know, when you're at the bar and your friend goes, P, we always whip out our phones.

01:44:31.000 Oh, I got to get checked up.

01:44:32.000 Stop it.

01:44:33.000 You can stare.

01:44:34.000 Even at bars now, there's TVs everywhere.

01:44:36.000 So you're not even really staring into space.

01:44:38.000 But just sit and look at the bottles.

01:44:40.000 Think about the graphic design.

01:44:42.000 Like, think about stuff.

01:44:44.000 Contemplate.

01:44:45.000 Pontificate.

01:44:47.000 Philosophize.

01:44:50.000 Yeah.

01:44:51.000 Indulge.

01:44:52.000 Thinkate about your ponderations.

01:44:55.000 Thanks, Ryan.

01:44:56.000 Great vocabulary.

01:44:58.000 Ponder.

01:45:00.000 So here's a dude who ordered a stripper to his class.

01:45:03.000 I hope it's not ancient news, but I think it's a very well-executed joke.

01:45:08.000 And by the way, look at the fucking training teacher that's just normal.

01:45:12.000 No one seems to have a problem with this freak.

01:45:14.000 My college lecture.

01:45:15.000 Hello, is Brady here?

01:45:17.000 Yeah.

01:45:18.000 Hi, I'm the stripper you ordered. 0.88

01:45:19.000 Yes, yeah.

01:45:20.000 Sorry, guys.

01:45:21.000 I meant to order it to my frat last night at 1 a.m., but it was accidentally 1 p.m.

01:45:24.000 And I didn't want to miss the test.

01:45:27.000 Your frat sucks, dude.

01:45:28.000 Pretty not an alpha beta pal.

01:45:29.000 You're just referencing something that is very important.

01:45:31.000 Please, can you leave?

01:45:33.000 It was non-refundable.

01:45:33.000 I'm sorry.

01:45:34.000 Dude, I will fail you.

01:45:36.000 I can't, I can't fail this.

01:45:37.000 No, I can't, I can't, I can't fail.

01:45:39.000 The one I saw, his face wasn't blurred.

01:45:41.000 That teacher is a dude.

01:45:43.000 I bet.

01:45:44.000 Well, you can tell.

01:45:45.000 Yeah.

01:45:46.000 And isn't it funny how they're so half-assed?

01:45:48.000 These trannies where they have skechers on and a dress? 1.00

01:45:52.000 It's non-refundable.

01:45:53.000 No.

01:45:54.000 You guys are discriminating against her because she's a stripper. 1.00

01:45:58.000 No, you guys get out.

01:45:59.000 I paid my tuition too.

01:46:01.000 Well, my dad does, but same thing.

01:46:02.000 I should have went to USC.

01:46:03.000 USC better plus ratio.

01:46:05.000 You suck.

01:46:06.000 I ordered a stripper to my college. 0.60

01:46:07.000 That tranny fucking prop. 1.00

01:46:09.000 You suck.

01:46:10.000 That's who's teaching our kids.

01:46:12.000 Your kids are going to go a quarter million dollars into debt to be taught by that fucking clown.

01:46:16.000 Not on my watch.

01:46:18.000 Tranny's out of the classroom. 0.99

01:46:19.000 Get fired.

01:46:20.000 Get in trouble.

01:46:21.000 Be brave.

01:46:22.000 And never stop fighting.

01:46:41.000 I'm gonna hate for you.

01:46:48.000 I'm gonna hate for you.

01:46:51.000 I'm gonna hate for you.

01:46:54.000 I'm gonna hate for you.

01:46:58.000 I'm gonna hate for you.

01:47:03.000 Disgusting is what disgusting is.

01:47:04.000 When are you facing me?

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - August 12, 2022

S4E153 - PUSSY RIOT

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript