Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S4E158 - MY WIFE'S MOM GROUP MEET-UP WITH THE BABY PLAY DATE

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Up My One with Devin McGuinness.

00:00:48.000 Yet another masterpiece from John Dwyer.

00:00:51.000 He's still out there kicking ass, taking names, creating a hundred side projects, putting out an album a year no matter what happens.

00:00:59.000 One of the most underrated musicians of all time.

00:01:03.000 He seems to have put out a Krass reboot.

00:01:06.000 Doesn't that sound like early Krass?

00:01:09.000 I mean, Krass didn't change that much over the years, but it sounds like the song.

00:01:13.000 Look up Krass Band from the Roxy.

00:01:16.000 They're known as like the most unmusical band of all time, but they are very musical.

00:01:24.000 They've even got some funky jams.

00:01:27.000 Like white punks on hope. 0.89

00:01:33.000 That's killing the momentum of the show. 0.96

00:01:35.000 Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn.

00:01:38.000 This is the Tuesday edition.

00:01:41.000 Very similar to the Monday and the Friday edition.

00:01:52.000 Maybe jump a little farther in.

00:02:02.000 Anyway.

00:02:05.000 What's one, two?

00:02:06.000 He's got some other.

00:02:07.000 Every time we...

00:02:09.000 That band, by the way, is the OCs.

00:02:11.000 Spelled a number of ways.

00:02:12.000 T-H-E-E, space O-H, space S-E-E-S.

00:02:16.000 They're also spelled O-S-E-E-S.

00:02:22.000 LA dude.

00:02:23.000 But just infinitely talented.

00:02:25.000 And he's got great facial hair and glasses. 1.00

00:02:28.000 You guys kidding with the fucking masks? 0.99

00:02:30.000 That's got to be a joke, right? 1.00

00:02:36.000 Wait a minute.

00:02:37.000 What is that?

00:02:48.000 That's not a joke.

00:02:52.000 Check out 1-3.

00:02:53.000 The variety of the music he makes is also amazing.

00:02:57.000 It's not a joke.

00:03:00.000 The masks.

00:03:01.000 It's amazing.

00:03:02.000 You know, we talk about the polarization of America and the national divorce, but I think we're guilty of that too.

00:03:09.000 Because we have all kinds of deal breakers. 0.91

00:03:11.000 Homosexuality, making a song called Sex with a Man is not among them. 0.99

00:03:16.000 I have no problem with this. 0.85

00:03:30.000 I mean what you get.

00:03:37.000 Yeah, incredible righty.

00:03:38.000 But anyway, aren't we the same as righties, as not lefts?

00:03:43.000 I don't know.

00:03:43.000 Because when I see a mask, I'm just like, well, yeah.

00:03:47.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:03:47.000 But then Ellen DeGeneres, like someone super lefty could be like, I think George Bush was pretty cool. 1.00

00:03:52.000 And we're like, come on over here. 1.00

00:03:54.000 Get over here, bitch. 1.00

00:03:55.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:03:56.000 And the left ostracized her. 0.95

00:03:57.000 But my thing is, like, I criticize the left for having all these deal breakers.

00:04:01.000 And I always say we don't have deal breakers and we're open to debate and discussion.

00:04:04.000 And they're not open to it.

00:04:06.000 But I'm not open to someone who wears a mask in a rock video.

00:04:11.000 Unless they're kidding, which it's not looking like that was a joke.

00:04:15.000 Or you see someone in a car with a mask and you're just like, I hate you.

00:04:20.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:04:20.000 You're dead to me. 1.00

00:04:21.000 You know, I did at my wife's mom group meetup with the baby play date.

00:04:26.000 There was all these parents there.

00:04:28.000 I knew that they were like a baby.

00:04:29.000 My wife's mom group meetup with the baby play date.

00:04:33.000 Yeah.

00:04:34.000 My wife's mom group.

00:04:37.000 I think that's the name of today's show.

00:04:39.000 My wife's mom group meetup.

00:04:43.000 Meet up with the baby date.

00:04:45.000 With the baby.

00:04:45.000 The baby play date.

00:04:47.000 With the baby play date.

00:04:49.000 Play date.

00:04:50.000 Okay, I got it.

00:04:51.000 That's all the things that.

00:04:53.000 What's the acronym?

00:04:54.000 It's not an acronym.

00:04:56.000 A lot of M's. 0.98

00:05:00.000 You're making me feel stupid, but basically what I'm trying to say. 0.99

00:05:03.000 Can I try that again? 0.99

00:05:04.000 Yes.

00:05:05.000 New title of the show.

00:05:06.000 Okay.

00:05:09.000 At Daphne's play date.

00:05:11.000 What's Daphne's play date?

00:05:13.000 That's an event?

00:05:14.000 Daphne's play date.

00:05:15.000 With who?

00:05:16.000 She doesn't have play dates? 0.99

00:05:17.000 Yeah, she does.

00:05:18.000 No, she doesn't.

00:05:19.000 The parents have.

00:05:20.000 Does she have them when you take her to Disney World?

00:05:23.000 I don't know what you mean, but what I mean is babies recognize each other.

00:05:28.000 Yeah, yeah, but I mean, it's still a date that we have set for babies to exist together.

00:05:34.000 Okay, it's not really the name of the show.

00:05:36.000 If you don't know the person's there, you're not really playing with that person.

00:05:39.000 They were playing with each other.

00:05:40.000 There was this other little toddler going by, and Daphne was like, Anyway, they're all liberals.

00:05:47.000 Now, they've not said it.

00:05:50.000 They've not said anything.

00:05:51.000 We've not talked politics, but I know that.

00:05:53.000 And while I'm talking to them, in my mind, geographically where you are.

00:05:56.000 And I'm having the conversation in my mind where they say something, and I'm like, and even though they haven't said it before, I'm like, all right, let me fast forward to that moment.

00:06:04.000 And as I'm talking to them, I'm like, yeah, I don't need you.

00:06:07.000 I don't like you anymore.

00:06:08.000 Like, now I just...

00:06:10.000 Talk about get fired, get in trouble.

00:06:12.000 If there's one place you can be yourself, it's with your in-laws.

00:06:15.000 I remember when I first met my mother-in-law, they were talking about teachers and how it's the most underrated job in the world.

00:06:21.000 And it was her and all her friends.

00:06:24.000 And they're that boomer generation who are always like, I was the first in my family to go to college.

00:06:28.000 Ooh.

00:06:30.000 Which to Gen X is really impressive going to college.

00:06:34.000 Wow, never heard of it.

00:06:38.000 And I go, hardest job, really?

00:06:40.000 Most underpaid.

00:06:41.000 I think if you look at what they're paid per hour working, it's like 60 bucks.

00:06:45.000 They get four months off a year.

00:06:47.000 They're done at three.

00:06:48.000 I mean, and no one, none of them had heard this before.

00:06:52.000 You're just supposed to go, yeah, teachers, so underpaid.

00:06:57.000 They're with our most precious resource.

00:06:59.000 They run the future, which is true, unfortunately.

00:07:02.000 And then they said, have you ever tried teaching?

00:07:08.000 And I go, yeah, tons.

00:07:09.000 I taught all ages in China.

00:07:12.000 Kindergarten, businessmen, everything.

00:07:16.000 It's easy.

00:07:17.000 Simple.

00:07:17.000 And they speak a different language.

00:07:19.000 And she's like, they go, I made a lot more money in the private sector.

00:07:24.000 Yeah.

00:07:25.000 Well, when you only work eight months a year, you don't make that much money.

00:07:28.000 The private sector is a little more demanding.

00:07:29.000 Private sector doesn't let you take four months off.

00:07:32.000 And then she has a water with her and she goes, do you want me to pour this water in your face right now? 0.99

00:07:37.000 Jesus.

00:07:39.000 That wasn't my mother-in-law. 1.00

00:07:40.000 That was one of her friends.

00:07:41.000 And I was like, well, that didn't go great.

00:07:43.000 And then as we were leaving, my wife apologized for me.

00:07:46.000 She's like, I'm really sorry that went that way.

00:07:48.000 I'm like, don't apologize for me.

00:07:50.000 I rule.

00:07:52.000 That's what I'm talking about.

00:07:53.000 I rock.

00:07:54.000 I have nothing but intolerance.

00:07:55.000 Like you said, you were like, we have things that we cut off, like hard nose.

00:08:00.000 I think my life right now is like nothing but I instantly don't like you unless you're far right Trump.

00:08:07.000 I really don't.

00:08:08.000 I'm similar to that, but I'm older than you, so I'm a little nicer.

00:08:12.000 And my thing is, I show you the worst of me in the first 10 seconds.

00:08:17.000 That feels great.

00:08:18.000 So I'm the biggest supporter of Trump in the world, and I'm the reason he got elected.

00:08:22.000 I mean, neither of those are true, but you get that out of the way, and then they're like, if you have a problem, now that's on you.

00:08:29.000 That's on you, because I've just been me.

00:08:31.000 So if you're intolerant, I understand.

00:08:33.000 Yeah, but then that ruins the whole thing for her. 0.97

00:08:35.000 It's not her thing.

00:08:36.000 It's the wife thing. 1.00

00:08:37.000 But would you still be you in this?

00:08:40.000 Well, I would just be me, normal, me.

00:08:43.000 If the subject of teachers comes up.

00:08:45.000 Oh, if it comes up.

00:08:46.000 I'm not going to shy away and go they are wonderful.

00:08:49.000 That gives you cancer.

00:08:50.000 You're being dishonest to yourself.

00:08:52.000 So you just got to come out with how you feel.

00:08:54.000 Now, at Thanksgiving with the family, you can be, we talked about this a long time ago.

00:08:58.000 You got to be more diplomatic and be like, I don't know.

00:09:01.000 Are you sure he said that? 0.99

00:09:02.000 That all Mexicans are rapists? 0.99

00:09:03.000 I don't. 0.99

00:09:04.000 I think he said they're sending rapists, and I believe they are.

00:09:07.000 I don't know.

00:09:08.000 Maybe we could double check that.

00:09:10.000 That's a safer way to tread about it.

00:09:12.000 But as far as less important things, like meeting someone's in-laws friends.

00:09:19.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:09:20.000 You can go fucking nuts. 1.00

00:09:21.000 Or I was at the bar once and this guy was saying, we have the first ad hominem president. 1.00

00:09:26.000 That was his quote.

00:09:27.000 Yeah.

00:09:28.000 He luckily got a brain injury in a motorcycle accident soon after that, so we don't have to worry about him again.

00:09:33.000 Just kidding, God.

00:09:34.000 Oh, no.

00:09:37.000 But he's the one I just came out and just said.

00:09:39.000 And I love, this is why I'm banned from social media. 1.00

00:09:43.000 Because it's so easy to fucking kill these faggots. 1.00

00:09:46.000 Like Mark, what's his name? 1.00

00:09:48.000 The what the fuck, Mark Maron. 0.99

00:09:50.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:09:50.000 He was talking about teachers, and he's like, you know, there's problems with it, but they're so underpaid. 1.00

00:09:55.000 I go, they're not, I said what I just said to you there.

00:09:58.000 And he goes, well, yeah, I'm not denying there's problems with public education.

00:10:02.000 I go, no one is. 1.00

00:10:04.000 It's a fucking mess. 1.00

00:10:05.000 And our kids are getting stupider. 1.00

00:10:07.000 And this is made no more clear than these treaters we've been seeing. 0.99

00:10:10.000 Everyone's copying that first dude, Drew.

00:10:12.000 But as Owen Benjamin points out, don't get obsessed with copyright and legacy and who said what.

00:10:18.000 Just be happy the message is out there.

00:10:20.000 And the message is, our children have never been less educated.

00:10:25.000 What continent are we on?

00:10:29.000 How many flags, stars are on the American flag?

00:10:32.000 One of the questions was, what country is the Queen of England from? 0.97

00:10:37.000 And I think the dummy who wrote it thought that England is a country.

00:10:42.000 England is a province. 0.85

00:10:43.000 The United Kingdom is the country.

00:10:46.000 England doesn't have an Olympic team or a passport.

00:10:50.000 Anyway.

00:10:53.000 And so Mark Marin was like, well, there's not just one magic fix-all solution.

00:10:57.000 And I go, yeah, there is.

00:10:58.000 It's called firing them.

00:11:01.000 You cannot fire a teacher.

00:11:03.000 There's a great book called The Worm in the Apple by Peter Brimalone.

00:11:06.000 It has this massive PDF on what you have to do to fire a teacher.

00:11:09.000 It's like, first, file a complaint, then do, do, do, then the union gets involved. 0.99

00:11:12.000 And it's this whole like graph of the shit you have to do. 0.99

00:11:17.000 And eventually it comes down to they get a rubber room for, I don't know, sometimes years if they really fucked up, like they grabbed a student's tit. 1.00

00:11:26.000 But as Project Veritas exposed, the only way they can get fired is to say the N-word to their student in a negative way or fuck one of them. 1.00

00:11:35.000 Otherwise, you can't fire them. 1.00

00:11:37.000 That's why they suck. 1.00

00:11:38.000 When you can't fire people, they suck. 1.00

00:11:40.000 I'm constantly on thin ice here with you subscribers. 1.00

00:11:44.000 If you guys say, fuck you, and you all unsubscribe, I'm broke. 1.00

00:11:48.000 I'm done. 1.00

00:11:48.000 I'm out of a job. 1.00

00:11:51.000 I can't not do shows every day or I'm fucked. 0.99

00:11:56.000 And so I said to him, it's as simple as that, Mark. 0.99

00:11:59.000 You just make it possible to fire them.

00:12:01.000 And he goes, well, that hasn't been proven.

00:12:03.000 I go, yeah, it has.

00:12:04.000 Charter schools.

00:12:05.000 Charter schools get paid less than public school teachers.

00:12:07.000 They have zero job security.

00:12:09.000 And the grade levels are insane, especially in black areas where they're traditionally really low scores. 1.00

00:12:16.000 Harlem, East New York, Brownsville, they're all fucking killing it. 1.00

00:12:21.000 It's a boon for poor black Americans. 1.00

00:12:24.000 And guess what he did after that? 0.95

00:12:26.000 Deleted the episode.

00:12:27.000 Deleted the episode.

00:12:28.000 That will not be seeing the light of day because Gavin won.

00:12:31.000 Which brings me to some me news.

00:12:34.000 Oh.

00:12:35.000 Have you got the me news ready?

00:12:36.000 You know what's exciting?

00:12:38.000 What?

00:12:38.000 I do.

00:12:39.000 Oh, let's see it.

00:12:40.000 I do have the me news bumper.

00:12:42.000 Me news, me news, me news.

00:12:44.000 This will be my favorite one.

00:12:44.000 Megalomania news.

00:13:00.000 Tim Dylan was talking about my gorgeous ass. 0.99

00:13:03.000 If you go to 65B. 0.99

00:13:05.000 Literally?

00:13:06.000 No.

00:13:07.000 Let's find out.

00:13:07.000 I discovered Tim Dylan.

00:13:09.000 Now, here's a caveat: if you invent something and you didn't know it was already invented, you invented it-ish.

00:13:19.000 You know what I mean?

00:13:21.000 So, like, Tom Green.

00:13:23.000 I discovered Tom Green.

00:13:27.000 He got famous on his own without my help, but I was the first to notice he had sprinkles.

00:13:33.000 Similarly, Tim Dylan, when I met him, he had a mediocre comedy career.

00:13:37.000 He was just starting out, and I said, you have the sprinkles.

00:13:40.000 You need to be my co-host every day.

00:13:42.000 And he said, yeah, I'll do it. 0.97

00:13:44.000 I don't know what the fuck happened. 0.99

00:13:46.000 He was busy. 0.99

00:13:47.000 He did a ton of TGMS, Gavin McKinnis shows, but he never ended up being the regular.

00:13:52.000 But I spotted him very early.

00:13:54.000 So you can discover someone without having anything to do with their success whatsoever. 0.96

00:14:00.000 And holy shit, is he successful? 0.83

00:14:02.000 It's a really exciting time for these comedy podcast guys, isn't it? 0.99

00:14:06.000 The gatekeepers have left the building, and the comedians are keeping 100% of the revenue. 0.91

00:14:12.000 I fucking love it. 0.99

00:14:13.000 You lazy boomers slacked off. 1.00

00:14:16.000 You fuckers at Comedy Central, you losers who book comedy gigs. 1.00

00:14:19.000 You let your genre become woke. 1.00

00:14:23.000 And what happened?

00:14:24.000 They went around you.

00:14:25.000 Nick Mullen went around you.

00:14:27.000 Tim Dylan went around you.

00:14:29.000 Joe Rogan went around you. 1.00

00:14:31.000 And they all got fucking paid. 1.00

00:14:33.000 Hell, I'm getting paid. 0.99

00:14:36.000 That's not a gatekeeper, my friend.

00:14:39.000 If we can walk around the side of the gate, you have no authority.

00:14:42.000 Bye-bye.

00:14:44.000 Home to mommy.

00:14:46.000 She probably likes me.

00:14:48.000 I said that last night. 1.00

00:14:50.000 We went to see the Yankees, who are fucking assholes. 1.00

00:14:52.000 Wow. 1.00

00:14:53.000 Their fans suck. 1.00

00:14:55.000 Every time they get a bass run, the whole stadium's on their feet screaming hysterically. 1.00

00:15:00.000 Calm down, guys.

00:15:01.000 Maybe that's what helps them.

00:15:02.000 Calm down.

00:15:04.000 Maybe that's what helps them, like that feedback that they're playing for the crowd or something.

00:15:08.000 They beat us 4-2, which wasn't very exciting.

00:15:11.000 Wasn't very fun to watch.

00:15:15.000 And then on the train, on the way home, this guy, we left early.

00:15:18.000 We left like an inning early because we knew where it was going.

00:15:20.000 And then this kid on the train goes, how did it go?

00:15:22.000 How'd we do?

00:15:24.000 And he was wearing a Yankee shirt.

00:15:25.000 And I went, well, we did pretty bad, but you did fairly well.

00:15:29.000 And then I realized later he knew that.

00:15:31.000 Oh.

00:15:32.000 He was like, who's number one?

00:15:34.000 Meanwhile, they're like number five in the MLB.

00:15:37.000 And we're number two.

00:15:37.000 My bet is at $1,800.

00:15:40.000 Although it may be $1,700 after last night.

00:15:43.000 Let me see exactly where we are.

00:15:44.000 Did you find that Tim Dylan bet yet as I sit here killing time?

00:15:47.000 It was ongoing.

00:15:50.000 Yeah, I mean, I don't know about any of this.

00:15:54.000 He just had a Cam house where he would like to be.

00:15:56.000 We're six and a half games behind, and they are 10 games behind.

00:16:00.000 We are number two in the entire MLB, and they are one, two, three, four, fifth.

00:16:07.000 Girls and stuff.

00:16:09.000 But that's not good if the second best team got beat by the fifth best team.

00:16:14.000 Yeah.

00:16:15.000 But it's not a time to brag about being a Yankee.

00:16:17.000 Yeah, true.

00:16:18.000 You're losing, guys.

00:16:21.000 I mean, what are you going to do?

00:16:24.000 I mean, you know.

00:16:26.000 You've got the right time for you.

00:16:27.000 My problem is when you take somebody off social media, they can't respond to any of this.

00:16:33.000 This is the big problem.

00:16:34.000 If you destroy people's ability to respond, you can say stuff about...

00:16:39.000 Move your mic, Tim.

00:16:42.000 And this is a Gavin McGinnis point, actually, that I'm making here.

00:16:46.000 Many years ago, when I knew Gavin, he is also controversial.

00:16:54.000 But Gavin said, yeah, they kicked me off all these things and I couldn't respond.

00:17:00.000 So people could say anything about me.

00:17:02.000 They could say I'm a Nazi, I'm this, I'm that.

00:17:04.000 And I did not have any place to respond to what was being said about me.

00:17:10.000 So no matter what you think about Gavin, that is a valid argument.

00:17:20.000 Man.

00:17:21.000 That if you kick somebody off and you call them names, maybe they're true, maybe they're not.

00:17:27.000 Don't repeat yourself and get your mic out of your face.

00:17:29.000 I love you, Tim.

00:17:30.000 And you need better lighting.

00:17:31.000 I love you, Tim, also.

00:17:34.000 Aren't they going for it's at night and we're in the desert?

00:17:38.000 Still.

00:17:39.000 That's enough me news for today.

00:17:40.000 Although we have another Mi News thing later.

00:17:43.000 Actually, maybe we should include this in the Mi News.

00:17:45.000 I can get you the Me News background pretty quick.

00:17:47.000 Yeah, let's jump to...

00:17:49.000 Get me a Me News background.

00:17:50.000 All right, here we go.

00:17:52.000 Just freeze frame it on one of those Mi News.

00:17:54.000 Me new is French for kitten, by the way.

00:17:56.000 Totes, totes, and totes. 0.99

00:17:58.000 In Quebec, it means pussy, too. 1.00

00:18:00.000 For the younger kids. 1.00

00:18:01.000 For us, it was shat, which is shat, pronounced Quebecois. 0.98

00:18:06.000 Shat. 1.00

00:18:07.000 Malcolm Nance was talking shit about me and Proud Boys today in Me News. 1.00

00:18:13.000 6'5. 0.99

00:18:15.000 Malcolm Nance is a Nance.

00:18:18.000 Malcolm Nance.

00:18:19.000 I told you, I met Malcolm Nance at an Ann Coulter debate, and he put up his hand.

00:18:26.000 I had no idea who he was.

00:18:27.000 And I was with Ann's ex-boyfriend, who was also her bodyguard, beast of a man.

00:18:33.000 And Nance goes, I don't understand why you're advocating for someone with mental illness to have the nuclear codes.

00:18:43.000 This is before Trump won. 0.96

00:18:45.000 And Ann goes, I don't understand all this talk of him being mentally ill.

00:18:49.000 I mean, he's a successful businessman.

00:18:51.000 He's very rational.

00:18:52.000 He hasn't done anything crazy.

00:18:55.000 I understand why Gary Busey or someone else would have a reputation as being insane.

00:19:01.000 But Donald Trump, it just seems like a random thing.

00:19:04.000 And then he starts, so then they move on to the next question, whatever.

00:19:08.000 And then he starts going, nuclear codes, nuclear codes, yelling that, nuclear codes, yelling that out. 0.99

00:19:17.000 Speaking of mentally ill, it is my contention that Malcolm Nance is mentally ill. 0.99

00:19:22.000 And I think he's a total and utter fraud. 0.97

00:19:26.000 I think he was very peripherally, and we'll get to that in a second, involved in various military actions. 0.98

00:19:34.000 Everyone in the military hates this gut.

00:19:36.000 And I'm remiss to mention him because every time I do, I get 100 emails from guys in the military telling me stories about Nance's fraud. 0.99

00:19:48.000 And we all saw this when he was in Ukraine with that dumb yellow jacket. 1.00

00:19:52.000 Remember that? 0.99

00:19:52.000 And he's like, incoming, incoming. 0.99

00:19:57.000 Scud missiles come in threes.

00:19:58.000 I've never seen one traveling that fast.

00:20:01.000 It's like Joe Tonelli levels. 0.93

00:20:03.000 He's a scam artist. 0.97

00:20:06.000 It's like a ghost hunter level bullshitter. 0.99

00:20:09.000 Or psychic.

00:20:10.000 He's the ghost hunter of vets.

00:20:13.000 But yeah.

00:20:14.000 And I refer to them collectively as Titus, which they would probably enjoy, right?

00:20:20.000 And I think there's a comedian named Titus who would not enjoy this.

00:20:24.000 But, you know, the Trump insurgents in the United States are a widely disparate group of individuals and organizations.

00:20:34.000 The Proud Boys are the most interesting because they did actions here in New York City in their heyday, and they were masculinized white men who had watched the movie 300, you know, four or five hundred times together,

00:20:50.000 smoking hash or whatever.

00:20:53.000 What?

00:20:54.000 Pardon?

00:20:55.000 Smoking hash?

00:20:56.000 And why are they white men? 0.53

00:20:57.000 The New York chapter was probably the most racially diverse chapter in the world.

00:21:02.000 Yeah.

00:21:03.000 Remember?

00:21:05.000 I get pictures on my feed of like this day in 2014 or 2015 or whatever.

00:21:11.000 And I see this Benetton ad going like that.

00:21:16.000 They were King Leonidas' army of the three 300.

00:21:21.000 And they were led by this guy who's Canadian, if I'm not mistaken, Gavin McInnes, right?

00:21:26.000 Who was this.

00:21:27.000 I actually pronounced your name correctly.

00:21:28.000 Yeah, thank you.

00:21:29.000 Wow, that's so weird to hear.

00:21:30.000 You will be, you know, a street tough who wears savvy clothing and has the little curly mustache.

00:21:38.000 But their job was...

00:21:39.000 Sounds pretty good.

00:21:41.000 Don't you love when they're insults?

00:21:42.000 You're like, they are violent but well-dressed.

00:21:45.000 It's like something out of peaky blinders or something.

00:21:48.000 And they'll be dressed in the latest suits and fashions and look like dandies, yet they'll beat you within an inch of your life if you cross them. 0.99

00:21:57.000 You know, losers like that. 0.97

00:21:59.000 To be the brown shirts of Nazi Germany in 1935. 1.00

00:22:05.000 You're the brown face of Biden's America.

00:22:09.000 They started as a street gang to attack and beat. 0.53

00:22:15.000 Intack?

00:22:16.000 No way.

00:22:17.000 They started as a street gang to intact and to intact.

00:22:23.000 Is that when you beat someone but they remain intact?

00:22:28.000 And beat physically with their hands liberal opponents.

00:22:33.000 That's what the proud boys are.

00:22:35.000 Yes, and that name is.

00:22:36.000 That's true.

00:22:37.000 But Malcolm, you're leaving out a detail.

00:22:39.000 These liberal opponents started it.

00:22:43.000 So the Antifa narrative is that proud boys beat people that they disagree with.

00:22:49.000 Sure.

00:22:50.000 Everyone beating someone disagrees with them.

00:22:53.000 It's an irrelevant detail.

00:22:55.000 In fact, the impetus for the fight is often that they strongly disagree.

00:23:00.000 And I strongly disagree with anyone who throws a bottle of piss at me.

00:23:04.000 I strongly disagree with someone who tacks the women and old ladies around me. 0.94

00:23:08.000 I strongly disagree with someone who's trying to kill me.

00:23:11.000 I strongly disagree with someone who pepper sprays me in the face.

00:23:14.000 Am I beating up someone who disagrees with me?

00:23:16.000 I guess so. 0.99

00:23:18.000 But that shouldn't be the takeaway from an honest person who's not a complete fucking fraud. 1.00

00:23:25.000 Proud of their white supremacy. 0.99

00:23:28.000 So this is like the Hitler youth of the Ku Klux Klan, all of which those are two mixed analogies, but they are. 0.59

00:23:36.000 And they were the...

00:23:38.000 Stop.

00:23:39.000 The Hitler youth of the Ku Klux Klan. 0.81

00:23:43.000 Ku Klux Klan.

00:23:44.000 Right?

00:23:47.000 Wow.

00:23:49.000 This is honestly like a 13-year-old.

00:23:53.000 He's a 13-year-old who joined the army.

00:23:58.000 So this is like the Hitler youth of the Ku Klux Klan, all of which those are two mixed analogies, but they are. 0.59

00:24:07.000 And they wear these black shirts with the gold proud boy symbol with the Acanthus leaf, you know, the reef that's supposed to symbolize Caesar.

00:24:20.000 Is that what he's going to say?

00:24:21.000 Pride in their white ethnic heritage. 1.00

00:24:26.000 So Fred Perry is white pride before...

00:24:29.000 Yeah, is the laurel indicative of white pride now? 1.00

00:24:33.000 Was to challenge you face to face and beat you, to punch you in the face.

00:24:39.000 And interesting thing happened is a transformation happened with the Proud Boys that happened with other groups in the George Floyd summer 2020, which was they started arming themselves. 0.99

00:24:51.000 They have shifted away from let's just beat your black or anti-cause it turns out rolling up to Harlem trying to beat up some black people doesn't work out as well as they think.

00:25:01.000 Yeah. 0.96

00:25:02.000 Especially when you don't ever do that.

00:25:04.000 Never really works out when you do that.

00:25:06.000 I haven't seen this before.

00:25:08.000 This isn't. 0.99

00:25:08.000 So now, because of George Floyd, these guys are pretending that Proud Boys, who are all white supremacists, got AR-15s and went to Harlem to kill blacks. 0.99

00:25:19.000 And it didn't turn out well for them. 0.97

00:25:21.000 This is a comic book.

00:25:23.000 Did they get killed?

00:25:23.000 This is a comic book.

00:25:25.000 That's the guy, by the way, who said the Constitution is trash. 0.98

00:25:30.000 Oh, no. 0.99

00:25:31.000 You know?

00:25:34.000 I think I know why.

00:25:37.000 I think Malcolm, even for Malcolm, that was like, okay, that's a bit of a stretch, but I'll run with it.

00:25:41.000 So is he saying, what's a walnut?

00:25:43.000 Is that a white person?

00:25:45.000 Aren't they brown?

00:25:46.000 A walnut is brown, yes.

00:25:48.000 Yeah.

00:25:48.000 Shouldn't it be like a pecan?

00:25:52.000 And would you be down there kicking people's asses in Harlem? 0.96

00:25:56.000 Like, you have an AR-50, any kind of weapon visibly on you anywhere in Manhattan, and you're going to jail for five years without a blink. 0.98

00:26:04.000 as well as they think.

00:26:05.000 Yeah.

00:26:05.000 Wait, I got to hear that again.

00:26:06.000 Go back.

00:26:08.000 This turned out to be a great me new segment.

00:26:10.000 I'm going to get that laugh as a drop. 0.96

00:26:13.000 Because it turns out, rolling up into Harlem trying to beat up some black people doesn't work out as well as they think. 0.98

00:26:18.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:26:19.000 Oh, no.

00:26:20.000 You know?

00:26:21.000 You know, but you don't hear them talking about that one, right?

00:26:24.000 Yeah.

00:26:25.000 I'll give them that.

00:26:28.000 That's true. 0.99

00:26:29.000 Proud boys never talk about the time they invaded Harlem and got the shit kicked out of them. 0.98

00:26:36.000 That's never covered. 0.99

00:26:37.000 I've never mentioned it once.

00:26:39.000 Nope.

00:26:39.000 It's never been in the media.

00:26:42.000 It's not actually on any CCTV cameras, unfortunately.

00:26:46.000 It hasn't been recorded even by God or physics.

00:26:52.000 Oh, they don't hear him talking about that.

00:26:55.000 Yeah, you don't hear them talking about that. 0.98

00:26:57.000 You don't hear the time Gavin challenged every black boxer in New York to line up in a row, and he got the shit kicked out of him by the very first guy. 0.83

00:27:06.000 He never talks about that challenge. 0.91

00:27:09.000 What?

00:27:09.000 We never talk about how we went to space altogether, too?

00:27:12.000 We did that trip to space to beat up Martians because they're green. 1.00

00:27:15.000 We never talk about how we went to blow up the Black Panthers clubhouse, but ended up blowing our hands off. 0.99

00:27:21.000 And an entire chapter of Prowboys just have stubs.

00:27:24.000 You want to hear him talking about that?

00:27:26.000 When we took the time machine back to when the first black man was invented, and we...

00:27:31.000 You make, like, talk about Strawman. 1.00

00:27:34.000 You make up the craziest fucking thing. 0.99

00:27:37.000 And the people in the audience go, well, no one would make up a story that crazy, so there must be a grain of truth to it. 1.00

00:27:43.000 No.

00:27:44.000 No. 0.98

00:27:45.000 On the Upper West Side, they were jumped by Antifa, and they beat them severely, and are doing four years in prison because we live in a totally unfair America with a shitty justice system.

00:27:57.000 And that's talked about quite a bit, actually. 0.75

00:27:59.000 And the only brown person was one of the Proud Boys.

00:28:02.000 Yeah.

00:28:03.000 Yep.

00:28:04.000 We don't talk about that.

00:28:05.000 A third of them were black, brown.

00:28:09.000 So they transformed themselves.

00:28:12.000 The next group, the largest group is the Oath Keepers.

00:28:16.000 Fascinating group.

00:28:18.000 Because I remember when they were trying to recruit me when I was in the military.

00:28:21.000 Wow.

00:28:22.000 I remember when they were trying to recruit me when I was in the military?

00:28:26.000 Did you hear that?

00:28:28.000 What?

00:28:29.000 Fascinating groups.

00:28:29.000 Oh, you talk about Oath Keepers, dude.

00:28:31.000 Yeah.

00:28:31.000 But wait.

00:28:32.000 Because I remember when they were trying to recruit me when I was in the military, getting out of the military in 2001, and their entire mission statement was to get military people and law enforcement officers.

00:28:46.000 What did they ask you?

00:28:47.000 I don't believe you one bit.

00:28:49.000 But wait a minute.

00:28:50.000 Look up Oath Keepers. 0.99

00:28:51.000 Were they around in 2001?

00:28:53.000 That was a long ass time ago.

00:28:57.000 My gut says oath keepers are barely 10 years old.

00:29:01.000 Let's see.

00:29:02.000 I definitely hadn't heard of them back then.

00:29:04.000 Doopa dipa da.

00:29:06.000 Where's the history?

00:29:10.000 I'm seeing a lot of 2014s.

00:29:12.000 Organizational history.

00:29:17.000 2008?

00:29:18.000 2009.

00:29:19.000 2009.

00:29:20.000 Jesus, dude.

00:29:21.000 We're founded in March 2009.

00:29:25.000 Yet somehow they were trying to recruit him in 2001.

00:29:28.000 You see what I mean?

00:29:30.000 See, the camera angle just focuses on his chest and above, but his pants are actually on fire.

00:29:35.000 That's why the lighting is so bad.

00:29:36.000 They figured the flames from his pants would light up the room.

00:29:39.000 This is an article, an old article we got sent last time.

00:29:41.000 We talked about Malcolm Nance, 6'6. 0.97

00:29:46.000 Now, the problem with military guys, as far as an outsider goes, a civilian, I believe we're called, is, when you read their newsletters, their information, their articles, there's a lot of fucking... 0.98

00:29:56.000 So he was a D4 sergeant. 0.98

00:29:57.000 He came to me from 3rd Platoon, obviously.

00:29:59.000 So I was worried that his CO was going to take him down to a third-rate segment officer.

00:30:04.000 And you're like, I don't, can you just get to the meat, please?

00:30:07.000 So here's the meat from that article.

00:30:10.000 I received a phone call early in the morning.

00:30:12.000 It was my commanding officer.

00:30:13.000 Petty Officer Morlock, do you recognize my voice?

00:30:15.000 I replied in the affirmative.

00:30:17.000 Open the logbook and write this down verbatim, he said.

00:30:20.000 Chief Petty Officer Malcolm Nance is persona non-grata in our spaces.

00:30:26.000 You may remove him by force.

00:30:28.000 Now read that back to me.

00:30:29.000 After complying, my CEO said goodnight.

00:30:32.000 Did not know Malcolm Nance.

00:30:33.000 I was really disappointed.

00:30:34.000 I did not see a uniform with that name tag on it during my watch.

00:30:38.000 One major issue that his junior sailors had when asked by Nance's superiors was his propensity to submit himself for personal awards and exaggerate his accomplishments while ignoring his juniors. 0.96

00:30:50.000 Yeah, both of those black men were guilty of that. 0.95

00:30:54.000 I was then advised that Nance was going to San Diego in a survival, evasion, resistance, escape, S-E-R-E, instructor Billet. 0.90

00:31:02.000 Bilet?

00:31:04.000 It's BA in French.

00:31:05.000 Since he was PNG from the cryptology community, that was practically the only spot the detailer could get him for his last duty station. 0.99

00:31:12.000 Simply put, no one wanted him.

00:31:14.000 I was directed not to allow him to contact any of the students and requested to recruit a few SEALs to ensure that he would make no contact with junior ranking personnel.

00:31:25.000 In Nance's case, he was either on or near a ship that fired missiles or was close to a Scud splashdown.

00:31:32.000 When this happens, the award goes to all members of the ships.

00:31:35.000 As a matter of honor, his personal awards do not show direct action or even influence in these matters.

00:31:40.000 Certainly no V for Valor or combat V to be noted.

00:31:43.000 That reminds me of my buddy Bill, Unreliabill, who was in Grenada, and he was a helicopter pilot, but they didn't need him at the time.

00:31:52.000 So he's wearing a drink in Mai Tai, hearing a Hawaiian shirt, and playing softball on the mainland while they were all over there getting attacked.

00:32:00.000 So because his battalion was in combat, the whole battalion got a purple heart.

00:32:05.000 Oh.

00:32:06.000 And he, oh, sorry.

00:32:09.000 He was injured rounding second base.

00:32:11.000 He twisted his ankle really bad.

00:32:13.000 So he was injured while his battalion was at war, so he got a purple heart.

00:32:18.000 And guess how thrilled his fellow officers are with that particular nomenclature?

00:32:25.000 They're not jazzed. 0.99

00:32:26.000 But he took it because I think it helps with your pension and shit. 0.99

00:32:29.000 But At least Bill jokes about it all the time and laughs at how little he deserves this. 0.98

00:32:34.000 He doesn't sit there on MSNBC talking about how the Oath Keepers approached him eight years before they existed. 0.99

00:32:43.000 What a dork. 0.96

00:32:44.000 Okay, that was a good segment of Me News. 0.96

00:32:50.000 Speaking of guys in the military, I forgot to mention this yesterday.

00:32:54.000 When going to see Top Gun, or maybe I did mention it, stop me if I did.

00:32:58.000 Before the movie starts, here's my thing about fiction.

00:33:01.000 I want to be immersed.

00:33:03.000 And I think the culture we have now, obviously with social media, more than a tweet, seems like you're reading Dostoevsky.

00:33:10.000 But even watching TV, which we've all been doing since it came out, right?

00:33:14.000 Well, since we were born, the whole concept of commercials is really irritating to me.

00:33:20.000 And I'm glad we use DVRs now.

00:33:22.000 But like watching Better Call Saul, where I really would dive into it.

00:33:26.000 And it was annoying that I recognized Bob Odenkirk and have hung out with him a few times.

00:33:30.000 So I don't like celebrities.

00:33:31.000 But I want to dive into it.

00:33:33.000 And then it's like, well, is Laszlo dead?

00:33:37.000 No, he's not dead.

00:33:38.000 And he's coming for you.

00:33:39.000 This week at Arby's, all new Chicken Spice Awards.

00:33:44.000 Like instantly, and you're like, you have to sort of jump on the remote.

00:33:50.000 So we're training ourselves. 0.99

00:33:53.000 And I'm not saying this is on purpose by the fucking Illuminati. 0.99

00:33:56.000 This is an unfortunate accident of capitalism. 0.98

00:33:58.000 But we've trained ourselves to not become immersed in the fiction we're watching.

00:34:04.000 It's like if you were reading a book on the train, the subway, I mean, and you're constantly stopping and being interrupted.

00:34:12.000 You can't get lost in it.

00:34:14.000 And then the whole concept of celebrities is another annoying thing.

00:34:17.000 Go to acting school and get that guy.

00:34:19.000 The best thing about that one-shot World War I movie, what was it called, 19 or 17?

00:34:25.000 1917?

00:34:26.000 1917?

00:34:27.000 I didn't recognize anyone in the movie.

00:34:29.000 We didn't have Jimmy Fallon showing up on a Jeep with supplies.

00:34:34.000 Tom Hanks, as Justin Thoreau points out, I don't want to see Tom Hanks in Castaway.

00:34:39.000 I know he's been married for a long time.

00:34:40.000 I know his son, Chad Hanks, is having white boy summer.

00:34:43.000 Like, he's not a guy Castaway.

00:34:46.000 And the other thing that bothers me about that is it doesn't bother anyone.

00:34:50.000 They don't mind being yanked out of it.

00:34:52.000 And I've noticed as an immigrant to America, Americans watch movies like they're in film school.

00:34:58.000 Like they look at the lighting.

00:34:59.000 They stay for the credits.

00:35:01.000 They talk about that actor.

00:35:02.000 They appreciate his work.

00:35:04.000 I've done a lot of movies.

00:35:05.000 Acting is the easiest job in the world.

00:35:08.000 And even if you suck, the director tells you how to say the line and you just repeat that.

00:35:12.000 I didn't even memorize my lines. 0.99

00:35:13.000 Because within the takes, you'd end up memorizing it.

00:35:20.000 Check out how to be a man on Amazon Prime if you're doubting my acting skills.

00:35:23.000 Mark Maron did, actually.

00:35:24.000 He wasn't impressed.

00:35:27.000 And then it gets worse.

00:35:31.000 The director.

00:35:33.000 The movie hasn't started yet.

00:35:34.000 I ran out of the theater, by the way, and gettered this from the hallway.

00:35:39.000 The director appears.

00:35:41.000 Hi, I'd like to thank you for coming to see Top Gun, the movie.

00:35:45.000 You're seeing it in theaters, as it was originally intended.

00:35:47.000 Then Tom Cruise shows up.

00:35:49.000 Big picture, big screen.

00:35:50.000 Thank you so much.

00:35:51.000 You guys are the reason this movie's here.

00:35:55.000 Oh, it's a movie.

00:35:55.000 Oh, you're actors.

00:35:56.000 Thanks.

00:35:57.000 Then they do a little five-minute movie about the making of Top Gun.

00:36:02.000 Stick that at the end.

00:36:03.000 If it must be, stick it at the end. 0.99

00:36:05.000 But they show the director, they show the cameras on the fucking aircraft carrier. 0.99

00:36:12.000 Show them landing. 0.99

00:36:14.000 Show the guys getting the coffee.

00:36:15.000 Like, you're unmovieing the movie before my very eyes. 0.99

00:36:26.000 It fucking pissed me off. 0.99

00:36:27.000 I was really, really mad. 0.99

00:36:30.000 I don't watch these.

00:36:31.000 I remember Better Call Saul. 0.97

00:36:34.000 After the episode was over, they'd have like Saul talk or something where that annoying fucking fake nerd, serial sexual offender, Chris Helmswick or whatever his name is, would sit down and they discuss it with the actors. 0.98

00:36:49.000 They discuss their role and their script and the lighting and the director and the producer and how wonderful everyone is. 0.97

00:36:57.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:36:58.000 And then my final pet peeve on this is these trailers are fucking the entire movie. 0.97

00:37:04.000 There's some movie coming out. 0.99

00:37:06.000 It looks like it's for girls, but it's some mulatto chick who doesn't realize she's British. 1.00

00:37:15.000 She does a 23andMe, discovers she has a wealthy cousin.

00:37:18.000 He takes her back to London to meet the family.

00:37:21.000 Sounds quaint, but they're vampires.

00:37:24.000 I'm already ruining it for you.

00:37:26.000 Dude, the trailer is about six minutes long.

00:37:30.000 It shows the plot twists.

00:37:32.000 It shows the revelation that these people are evil.

00:37:34.000 It shows what they're doing.

00:37:35.000 I'm going to ruin it for you, spoiler alert.

00:37:37.000 It shows that the wedding she's come to is hers.

00:37:40.000 She's the bride.

00:37:41.000 They reveal that in the trailer.

00:37:43.000 Is it this?

00:37:44.000 The invitation?

00:37:44.000 Yes, the invitation.

00:37:46.000 And my wife leans over and she goes, that's the whole movie. 0.95

00:37:49.000 Yeah.

00:37:50.000 They just showed the whole movie.

00:37:52.000 Yeah.

00:37:53.000 I don't want to watch it now.

00:37:54.000 Like movie reviewers that I was watching movie reviews for this, for Nope.

00:38:00.000 I was like, should I see this?

00:38:01.000 And they were like, I didn't watch the trailer because I knew they were going to give it away.

00:38:04.000 And then I watched it afterwards and, yep, they did. 0.99

00:38:07.000 I was like, what the fuck? 0.98

00:38:07.000 If you've seen a trailer and it's a director you like or something or it's something you're interested in, just go fast. 0.98

00:38:14.000 Or another thing I do with trailers is I can tell within the first like 10 seconds if it has the stuff I like.

00:38:21.000 Like Terminal List.

00:38:22.000 I started watching that last night.

00:38:24.000 And when I saw the trailer for it, I was like, yep.

00:38:28.000 Got it.

00:38:29.000 Stop watching.

00:38:30.000 Dude, have you seen that, watch any of that?

00:38:32.000 No.

00:38:34.000 Excuse me.

00:38:35.000 My new way of knowing if I want to see something is, does it have bad reviews?

00:38:40.000 And the Terminal List was known as some right-wing lust revenge fantasy flick.

00:38:45.000 And I'm like, done.

00:38:46.000 I'm in.

00:38:47.000 I'm in.

00:38:47.000 Did you hate it?

00:38:49.000 Let me see a picture of you. 0.99

00:38:51.000 Oh, you're a turgid tattletale with glasses. 1.00

00:38:54.000 Perfect. 0.99

00:38:55.000 Oh, huge, what's it called?

00:38:59.000 With the Bad tomatoes, rotten tomatoes.

00:39:03.000 When you see the critics score is like 12, and well, don't go showing it.

00:39:09.000 That's all you need right there.

00:39:11.000 Yeah.

00:39:12.000 And then the critic score is like 12, and the audience score is like 98.

00:39:17.000 You're like, okay, perfect.

00:39:19.000 I knew that with Kirby Enthusiasm. 1.00

00:39:21.000 They go, worst season ever, disgusting, bigoted, Islamophobic. 0.99

00:39:25.000 And I'm like, can't wait. 0.99

00:39:27.000 Thanks for the double A plus.

00:39:29.000 And I realize, you know why they said that?

00:39:31.000 Because it's the one where the Ayatollah Khomeini has a fatwa out on Larry David.

00:39:36.000 How dare you offend the Ayatollah of Iran?

00:39:40.000 They kill children there for no reason.

00:39:42.000 Do you know what goes on in Iran with the human rights? 0.95

00:39:46.000 Do you know what they do to gays?

00:39:47.000 You know what they do to women who are accused of cheating on their husbands?

00:39:51.000 It's in the dark ages.

00:39:54.000 Don't worry about offending Iran. 1.00

00:39:57.000 They want to develop a nuclear weapon to kill Jews. 0.99

00:40:08.000 Okay, let's we should cover this Alex Stein versus Dave Portno gossip. 0.99

00:40:15.000 So Alex Stein just did this one doesn't even seem to have a point.

00:40:18.000 I'm over on 18 now, Ryan. 1.00

00:40:21.000 It just seems like, fuck it, I'm going to go there and just talk shit. 1.00

00:40:24.000 I don't really, I'm not trying to cure anything. 1.00

00:40:27.000 And it went viral, and then Barstool Sports put it up, and then Dave goes, oh, wait a minute, we're basically owned by a gambling company.

00:40:36.000 Does take it down.

00:40:37.000 It's got anti-gambling vibes.

00:40:39.000 And then I think Alex thought he took it down for some other reason. 0.98

00:40:43.000 So then Alex goes on the offensive because the best defense is good offense and brings up all this shit about Dave. 0.98

00:40:49.000 About how he's short and implies he preys on women, I believe, and some other stuff. 0.98

00:40:56.000 And now they're coming at each other.

00:40:59.000 And Dave Portnoy's like, I'd never have you on the show.

00:41:01.000 And then Alex Stein is showing a conversation of Dave Portnoy begging him to come on his show.

00:41:09.000 That's what happens with these alphas.

00:41:12.000 Excuse me.

00:41:13.000 You said your name was Alex Stein?

00:41:15.000 Yes.

00:41:15.000 Okay, thank you.

00:41:16.000 What I'm saying is these casinos give people free drinks, and then they become vulnerable and end up gambling more money than they have.

00:41:22.000 And I was a victim of that, and I lost a lot of money.

00:41:25.000 And I'm facing a lot of issues right now.

00:41:27.000 My wife's boyfriend recently got her pregnant, and I'm here for a church event speaking for, I'm a member of the Church of Scientology, and I don't normally drink, but I'm very vulnerable.

00:41:36.000 I'm in a position now where I don't know what I'm going to do because financially I'm going to have to take care of this baby potentially because he's out on parole right now and he has an upcoming case where he could be facing a long time in jail.

00:41:50.000 So potentially, I'm going to have to financially support this baby.

00:41:53.000 And I come to Las Vegas for a work event and I get fed alcohol and I get entirely way too intoxicated.

00:41:58.000 I go to the ATM, I use my credit card.

00:42:00.000 They make it very accessible to be able to gamble in my credit card.

00:42:03.000 You know this, Mayor Goodman.

00:42:04.000 They make it absolutely incredibly accessible, Councilman.

00:42:08.000 All I have.

00:42:09.000 And now I've got to go back to Clearwater, Florida, and I have nothing.

00:42:12.000 So after this, after I started drinking, I'm very distraught.

00:42:18.000 And the one good thing about this city, I will say, the one good thing is, of all the cities I've been to, it's the first city last night at 4 a.m., I saw multiple people on Fremont Street taking the vaccine.

00:42:27.000 That's the only place I've seen a 24-7 vaccine operation.

00:42:31.000 This isn't political action anymore.

00:42:33.000 This is just funny.

00:42:34.000 I saw lots of people on Fremont Street doing the vaccine.

00:42:37.000 And I want to commend you the one thing.

00:42:39.000 But the vulnerability of the tourists that come here, like myself, you're preying on people like me.

00:42:46.000 And then I end up meeting a nice Filipino girl. 0.93

00:42:48.000 I take her back to my hotel room.

00:42:52.000 I cost money for her service to come to my room. 0.97

00:42:56.000 Mayor Goodman.

00:42:58.000 I end up having a good time.

00:43:00.000 We start kissing.

00:43:01.000 We take off her clothes. 1.00

00:43:03.000 She has male genitalia. 0.99

00:43:05.000 She's a transgender. 0.99

00:43:06.000 I guess Filipino was correct. 1.00

00:43:08.000 Oh, yeah.

00:43:09.000 We're in a public venue, and I think...

00:43:12.000 What happened?

00:43:12.000 So listen, I'm at a meeting.

00:43:14.000 Please, could you excuse me?

00:43:17.000 Could you please be calm?

00:43:18.000 Man, the mayor of Vegas, you must have some mob connections, huh?

00:43:21.000 You don't get that job just by working hard.

00:43:24.000 Yeah.

00:43:24.000 This is a praying on me, Mary.

00:43:26.000 You know, when I'm out there, I'm vulnerable, and now I have an LGBTI press.

00:43:30.000 It's very confusing.

00:43:30.000 How can we track that?

00:43:32.000 So that's the hilarious video that started.

00:43:35.000 That's the only one I've seen that didn't have a very honed political point, by the way.

00:43:40.000 And then, do you want to look up the Portnoy Alex thing?

00:43:43.000 Because I sort of feel like, can't we all just get along?

00:43:48.000 Yeah.

00:43:50.000 Dave took it down for business reasons, and I'm fine with that.

00:43:53.000 I mean, I wouldn't want to be owned by a gambling company where I couldn't make fun of gambling, but I don't have a beef with someone who does.

00:44:01.000 There was a lot of fallout after that.

00:44:03.000 Like the guy who posts for them, like, had to suspend himself from tweeting there again.

00:44:09.000 Mama, there goes that man again.

00:44:10.000 He's trending.

00:44:11.000 And I think it's kind of like a bad look to gloat.

00:44:17.000 Even though I don't think he won this, he's like, I'll get $500 million, blah, blah, blah. 0.99

00:44:22.000 And he's throwing his own guys under the bus, and it's like, damn, dude. 1.00

00:44:26.000 No, Dave's a pussy because he won't keep up one problem gambling joke he didn't even know about I'd rather be a broke ass working for a low tier publication and have my pride than have a multiple oceanfront mansions what a pussy yeah bragging about being rich is gay I'd rather be a broke ass working for a low tier publication and have my pride correct than have a multiple oceanfront mansions what a pussy is that what he's saying yeah he's he'd rather have the motion no he's being sarcastic Ryan welcome aboard welcome to life I don't get this 1.00

00:45:24.000 KFC Barstool too KFC Barstool does make everything political and he sucks and nobody likes him but he's at barstool yeah and who's the clam report mets pie I think he's being sarcastic there he's getting a little elusive he's blending in the Mets because he was really hurt about the Mets why was he hurt about the Mets because they didn't do something known about this guy and his life.

00:45:50.000 Let's clean the palette with some fun news items. 0.97

00:45:54.000 Remember yesterday we did shit I Don't Care About? 0.96

00:45:56.000 I have a bunch of those. 0.97

00:45:57.000 They all involve Megan Marco, but let's jump ahead to some fun stuff.

00:46:00.000 Look at 2-2.

00:46:01.000 Here's some happy news.

00:46:03.000 2-2. 0.97

00:46:03.000 This ginge is fucking killing it in the stock market, and he decides to get right at the beginning of the bed, bath, and beyond fake tidal wave. 0.97

00:46:15.000 And right before the shares plummet, he sells the $25 million steak and makes $130 million. 0.98

00:46:25.000 Look at him. 1.00

00:46:28.000 Damn. 1.00

00:46:29.000 One for the ginge. 1.00

00:46:30.000 My only problem with gingers is if you move their letters around, it spells niggers. 1.00

00:46:35.000 That's true. 0.97

00:46:37.000 And I think that's why a lot of them are racist because they have the N-word in their name.

00:46:43.000 This was also, I don't know, this is one of the most wonderful things in the world.

00:46:47.000 Like the same way most people will watch a sunset or a beautiful water fountain, I could just have this on on a loop in my living room and just have some tea be, what do they call it?

00:46:58.000 Steeping a bag of earl gray tea and just have this playing.

00:47:02.000 This is a 3-2. 0.99

00:47:05.000 Ah, what is sweeter than seeing a person of color attack one of their gay allies? 1.00

00:47:37.000 You know what I'm noticing now with this? 0.99

00:47:40.000 I think she's white. 1.00

00:47:41.000 I think she's a convert who has become a Burka-wearing fucking Muzzy. 1.00

00:47:49.000 And then she sees a fellow white person. 0.99

00:47:52.000 They're both straight white people, by the way. 0.89

00:47:54.000 She sees a fellow straight white woman who's pro gay, so she's wearing a different blanket. 1.00

00:48:03.000 This fucking shirt is way too small. 1.00

00:48:04.000 It's driving me fucking great. 0.99

00:48:10.000 Only way you can do the top button, undo the top button, is to make it really big, like you've been up all night working on a case. 0.97

00:48:20.000 So it's two straight white British women who have chosen different cults. 0.92

00:48:25.000 One is wearing a rainbow blanket, the other is wearing a garbage blanket. 0.96

00:48:29.000 And they're yelling at each other because they chose the wrong drive.

00:48:34.000 That amuses me to no end.

00:48:38.000 Here's a really happy story.

00:48:40.000 2-3.

00:48:41.000 This woman's celebrating her 100th great-grandchild.

00:48:45.000 Her 100th great-grandchild.

00:48:48.000 Oh, what a great 99-year-old Peggy Kohler of Bluebell got to hold little baby Cole, who's not only special because he's number one.

00:48:55.000 Dropping the video.

00:48:56.000 But because, as you might imagine, his name is special too.

00:49:00.000 I've always loved the name Cole.

00:49:02.000 And Chrissy one day is like, hey, how about Kohler?

00:49:04.000 I thought about it, like Kohler, and then we went to Kohler William, which William Kohler was her grandfather's name.

00:49:11.000 Now, the unusual thing is this big family grew from a small one.

00:49:15.000 Peggy was an only child.

00:49:17.000 Action News profiled her back in 2015 when she told us that she applied to be a nun in high school, but William Kohler talked her out of it.

00:49:25.000 They got married and welcomed 11 children.

00:49:28.000 Wow.

00:49:28.000 Then came 56 grandchildren.

00:49:31.000 Wow, life really took a different turn.

00:49:32.000 Grandchild Chrissy Ballster and her cousin Colleen were actually doing a day apart with kids over the wire.

00:49:38.000 Which one of them was going to have lucky baby number 100? 0.99

00:49:41.000 We know that baby Kohler has a special honor, but this is the problem with dating a woman in her 20s and then dumping her.

00:49:48.000 And now she can't have kids. 1.00

00:49:50.000 That's who you just killed. 0.96

00:49:52.000 You killed however many people that is, right?

00:49:56.000 They have 100 great-grandchildren.

00:49:59.000 Does that mean there's 200 kids?

00:50:00.000 I don't quite, I'm not good enough at the math to know how many people she's responsible for in total if she has 100 great-grandchildren.

00:50:07.000 I guess you can't work it out unless you know how many babies each one had. 0.93

00:50:10.000 But anyway, I remember I was at a family reunion.

00:50:14.000 We kind of crashed it when we were shooting a pilot in Abbeville, South Carolina.

00:50:17.000 And it was a similar situation to that.

00:50:19.000 And I go down there and they go, this is, they're all inviting us in, film crew, everything.

00:50:25.000 And I met these kids who would like, yeah, I fought.

00:50:27.000 Someone insults my mama, but I'll just hit them till they say they're sorry. 1.00

00:50:30.000 He was wearing a cast because he broke it on a dirt bike hunting rabbits.

00:50:35.000 And they introduced me to the old lady and I go, wow, you're the matriarch. 1.00

00:50:39.000 She's like, yep.

00:50:40.000 And I go, you did all this.

00:50:42.000 You're responsible for all of these lives.

00:50:44.000 Everyone here is because of you.

00:50:47.000 And I don't want her to be humble, by the way, but there was zero humble in her.

00:50:52.000 She was like, amazing, isn't it?

00:50:54.000 Yep, that's all me.

00:50:56.000 And I was like, yeah, bask in it.

00:50:58.000 Bask in it.

00:50:59.000 You're amazing.

00:51:00.000 And you're not amazing because you're doing dude things.

00:51:03.000 You're not Charlize Therone. 0.99

00:51:05.000 You're not fucking kicking ass and taking names. 0.99

00:51:08.000 You're doing what God gave you the magic ability to do, which is create life. 0.99

00:51:15.000 Like, go to 34A.

00:51:17.000 Why don't women ever want this job? 1.00

00:51:19.000 Why don't they ever complain about the need to do this job?

00:51:22.000 They want to be in action movies like men.

00:51:24.000 They want to direct films.

00:51:25.000 Do you want to do this?

00:51:27.000 Turn it up.

00:51:31.000 I think this is how they make fudge sickles.

00:51:40.000 I guess this is how you get oil out of the ground.

00:51:43.000 It looks very, very difficult and very dangerous.

00:51:47.000 It looks like the possibility of losing a finger there is about one in two.

00:51:53.000 Doesn't it?

00:51:56.000 Like those things swinging around. 0.98

00:51:58.000 Get that the fuck out of here. 1.00

00:51:59.000 I'm sick Of that thing. 1.00

00:52:07.000 Ill, you're all dirty. 0.99

00:52:10.000 Women would do that job if you could guarantee they'd get zero mud on their dress. 1.00

00:52:15.000 Actually, that's a good segue in jump into feminism. 1.00

00:52:19.000 True, that's cancer.

00:52:26.000 Who here identifies as a feminist? 1.00

00:52:28.000 We are the storm, the very form of change that the world has been waiting for.

00:52:37.000 You said I was too pretty to fight.

00:52:42.000 That's toxic masculinity if you don't realize how your behavior is hurtful.

00:52:51.000 Chelsea Handler, is that her name?

00:52:54.000 Yeah, still in loneliness denial.

00:52:57.000 Her and Joe Coy, this is the woman who pushed not having kids on America. 1.00

00:53:01.000 That's why I pick on her so much, because she killed as many people as you saw there. 0.88

00:53:06.000 She recently filmed her family reunion, where you saw all these happy people and their kids, and her just staring at the nieces and nephews, which I'm sure Sarah Silverman must do when she goes to Israel and sees her sister's massive brood and just goes, wow, everyone's laughing.

00:53:21.000 A lot of fun stuff here.

00:53:23.000 No one's talking about themselves and healing. 1.00

00:53:26.000 You'll notice that too with these childless fuckers. 1.00

00:53:29.000 What is that? 1.00

00:53:29.000 Some of my face. 1.00

00:53:35.000 They talk about self-care and therapy and stuff.

00:53:39.000 They have to work on me.

00:53:41.000 Working on me.

00:53:42.000 People with kids don't talk about that.

00:53:44.000 They're busy.

00:53:46.000 They're at work trying to make money for their kids or they're working with their kids, doing stuff with their kids.

00:53:52.000 That is their self-care.

00:53:55.000 Yeah.

00:53:56.000 I mean, you get a break every Father's Day and Mother's Day, but Mother's Day, women want to be away from the kids for a break. 1.00

00:54:02.000 On Father's Day, they don't.

00:54:04.000 So I guess there's one break.

00:54:05.000 One parent gets one break a year because they don't want one.

00:54:08.000 Yeah.

00:54:09.000 I went to go see a movie by myself, that movie Nope, and it was like going to Vegas. 0.99

00:54:13.000 I was like, I got a fucking popcorn. 0.99

00:54:15.000 I got a drink. 1.00

00:54:16.000 This is crazy.

00:54:16.000 And it was two hours.

00:54:19.000 What happens at Nope stays at Nope.

00:54:21.000 Yep. 1.00

00:54:22.000 So look at these fucking losers. 1.00

00:54:24.000 And you know what I think happened with Chelsea too, and it'll happen with you if you're a spinster? 1.00

00:54:28.000 You take a bunch of Xanax during the week you're breaking up to deal with it.

00:54:32.000 So you put out these videos going, we're going to stay friends and we're going to co-parent and we're going to, they can't co-parent, but you know what I mean?

00:54:38.000 That was the other one, Gwyneth Paltrow or whoever their name is.

00:54:41.000 And we learned so much from each other because they're high.

00:54:45.000 And then the drugs were off and they're like, okay, now it's hit me.

00:54:48.000 All I did was delay the inevitable grief.

00:54:53.000 Somebody, a relationship, a person.

00:54:55.000 Does that ever really heal?

00:54:59.000 Does that ever really go away?

00:55:01.000 Or do you have to just feel that for the rest of your life?

00:55:04.000 I think both things can be true.

00:55:06.000 Who did you lose?

00:55:07.000 There's just been some friendship dynamic changes.

00:55:10.000 And I think that's a good idea.

00:55:11.000 I can't believe that.

00:55:11.000 Could you ever recover from losing a friend?

00:55:15.000 What a serious problem to have.

00:55:18.000 You don't hang out with that chick anymore? 1.00

00:55:20.000 Well, kill yourself. 1.00

00:55:22.000 What could be worse? 1.00

00:55:23.000 Yeah, I think not having a family for these broads puts more stress on their friends because that's their family, right? 1.00

00:55:29.000 Of course.

00:55:30.000 Do you hear grabbing a beer?

00:55:32.000 So you, wait a minute.

00:55:34.000 You don't want to grab a beer with me?

00:55:35.000 Yeah, I forgot myself at a baseball game.

00:55:37.000 I demand nothing from you.

00:55:38.000 So we're done.

00:55:40.000 You're saying we're done?

00:55:41.000 No, no.

00:55:42.000 I mean, if I got time.

00:55:43.000 We're done for today.

00:55:44.000 Let me know.

00:55:44.000 Yeah, definitely today's out.

00:55:46.000 But in the future, if you got some time, let me know.

00:55:48.000 I'm usually at the local.

00:55:52.000 I need to see a grief therapist.

00:55:54.000 A grief counselor.

00:55:56.000 This is worse than Sandy Hook.

00:55:59.000 Different forms and due to all these different things.

00:56:01.000 I have a lot of friendships that have ended, and it is something that you hold.

00:56:05.000 But healing does come into place.

00:56:07.000 There is an amount of time that makes everything less acute.

00:56:11.000 Yeah.

00:56:12.000 The key to healing is...

00:56:13.000 It makes things less cute.

00:56:15.000 You getting old.

00:56:18.000 Give out love.

00:56:19.000 Give out love and forgiveness, no matter what the circumstances are, whether who is right or wrong, just to send love to that person, whether you do it through meditation or prayer or whatever the f ⁇ you're into.

00:56:30.000 It's important to forgive people because holding on to that is a crusty notion.

00:56:34.000 And the space with kids don't meditate.

00:56:36.000 They don't have time.

00:56:37.000 It's too loud in the house.

00:56:39.000 And it's awesome.

00:56:41.000 It can embed itself into yourself and become a very toxic quality to be mad at people.

00:56:47.000 So when things change, you have to just accept that. 1.00

00:56:50.000 Listen to this person whose life is a bag of shit giving advice on relationships. 1.00

00:56:56.000 She's alone, lonely, childless, sits with her fucking dog in her giant house with no one around, and she's telling everyone else how to make their lives better. 1.00

00:57:09.000 Thank you for that. 1.00

00:57:10.000 You know what I need?

00:57:11.000 Oh, look, Jennifer Anniston liked it.

00:57:14.000 I'm going to need therapy when my daughter goes out to college because from zero to 18, she was there. 1.00

00:57:21.000 I might cry just talking about it.

00:57:24.000 So that's a real problem.

00:57:26.000 My best friend is dying.

00:57:29.000 What got me is saying you have to accept things are changing.

00:57:32.000 What?

00:57:33.000 How simple are you?

00:57:36.000 They're all talking to themselves, by the way. 0.98

00:57:39.000 Should I accept that Joe Coi got bored of my old ass and traded me in for one of some young groupie because he's already done promoting his film? 0.96

00:57:46.000 Because I don't feel that inclination. 0.98

00:57:49.000 What?

00:57:49.000 Oh, whoa.

00:57:50.000 This is weird.

00:57:51.000 You're putting out such powerful, necessary, beautiful work, and you're still funny as hell.

00:57:55.000 Is she?

00:57:55.000 Because it doesn't sound very funny.

00:57:57.000 Yeah, it's not funny.

00:57:59.000 It can be.

00:58:00.000 And something on her page, I don't want to leave this yet because it'll restart the video.

00:58:04.000 Very painful.

00:58:04.000 I've had some very painful friendship endings that have taken me years to get it.

00:58:09.000 Very painful friendship endings.

00:58:11.000 It'll always be a part of you, but it will run the healing and understanding that people are there at certain parts of your life in certain ways and it's not permanent.

00:58:22.000 So use people until they're done. 0.99

00:58:25.000 Yeah.

00:58:25.000 What were you going to show me on her page?

00:58:27.000 A friend asked me what it was like.

00:58:28.000 She was like, get off my lawn fan. 1.00

00:58:30.000 Yeah.

00:58:32.000 A friend asked me what it was like to have kids, so I asked her for a toast 16 times, then screamed at her that I hate toast and told her I obviously need crackers, and then screamed that they were square and not round, all while licking the dirty countertop and spilling juice all over the floor.

00:58:45.000 She hid in the pantry and drank wine.

00:58:50.000 That's the culture.

00:58:51.000 She's loving mother. 1.00

00:58:52.000 Constantly complaining and saying how great they are and how they want men's shit. 1.00

00:58:57.000 This was actually a scoop sent to me by a baby monster. 1.00

00:59:01.000 So it should be in the mailbag.

00:59:03.000 But he said, greetings, G-Dog and Ryan.

00:59:06.000 By the way, you know what was funny?

00:59:08.000 At the Yankees game yesterday, I saw a cop with a bomb-sniffing cop with a doggy.

00:59:16.000 A bomb-sniffing cop?

00:59:19.000 Yes.

00:59:21.000 He's a cop whose department is bomb-sniffing.

00:59:23.000 So he's a bomb-sniffing cop.

00:59:25.000 He was with his German shepherd, and he goes, G-Dog, which means he watches the show. 0.96

00:59:30.000 Sick.

00:59:31.000 Then we did some selfies.

00:59:33.000 But then today, I go outside, and my neighborhood is not in downtown.

00:59:38.000 It's a lonely suburb.

00:59:41.000 And there's an unmarked police car parked in front of my house.

00:59:47.000 So I walk over to it.

00:59:49.000 Must be big fans.

00:59:50.000 And I go, how we doing?

00:59:53.000 And they look very uncomfortable.

00:59:56.000 Now, I've reported cars like this before to the police because I'm paranoid.

01:00:03.000 And they said, oh, what you're probably seeing is these people who go on disability.

01:00:07.000 And the insurance companies hire detectives to wait outside.

01:00:11.000 And then they walk fine.

01:00:12.000 And they go, wait a minute.

01:00:13.000 You said you broke your back.

01:00:15.000 You skipped a malu out there.

01:00:19.000 And so it might be that.

01:00:20.000 That's what a cop told me.

01:00:21.000 But this didn't seem like that.

01:00:22.000 This seemed like cops.

01:00:26.000 In front of your house specifically?

01:00:28.000 Yes.

01:00:29.000 No, definitely in front of my house. 1.00

01:00:31.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:00:33.000 Look at me. 1.00

01:00:35.000 Like this?

01:00:37.000 Or like this?

01:00:39.000 Like this.

01:00:41.000 That's bad.

01:00:42.000 Confirming my address kind of vibes.

01:00:44.000 Anyway.

01:00:47.000 Got a weird feeling.

01:00:50.000 Feminists always seem to scoff at the fact that men created basically every product, structure, and system that has ever been created. 1.00

01:00:55.000 I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt and search the internet for all the best female-made inventions. 1.00

01:00:59.000 I stumbled upon this article that talks about all the fantastic things women have invented.

01:01:03.000 I probably should have made this a green screen.

01:01:07.000 But here's the game.

01:01:08.000 Go through this list and Google the names, and you'll see that they're all just lies. 1.00

01:01:15.000 It's all the proud boys going into Harlem to kick some ass. 1.00

01:01:19.000 So I did this. 1.00

01:01:20.000 I took him up on his offer.

01:01:23.000 Oh, so Jean-Villepe created a glass aquarium to study marine life.

01:01:29.000 Okay.

01:01:31.000 See, this is actually a great example of it.

01:01:34.000 That's number two on the list.

01:01:36.000 The first aquariums were like ancient China.

01:01:38.000 China's 4,000 years old, right?

01:01:41.000 And they would put koi fish in these pots.

01:01:44.000 Then glass came along.

01:01:45.000 People started putting fish in glass.

01:01:48.000 She decided to put specific fish in glass that she could analyze because she's a marine biologist.

01:01:54.000 So she was the first to study her fish in an aquarium.

01:01:59.000 That has morphed into she invented aquariums. 1.00

01:02:05.000 Or look at the other one.

01:02:06.000 The first one there on the list is the circular saw.

01:02:13.000 Yeah, number one, circular saw.

01:02:15.000 Tabitha Babbitt, 1812.

01:02:17.000 And when you see that, you go, really?

01:02:20.000 We've been cutting wood for how long?

01:02:22.000 And it took till 1812 to discover that?

01:02:28.000 So already you're kind of, sort of like when they say that they invented, a black man invented peanut butter.

01:02:35.000 You're like, don't you invent peanut butter every time you chew a peanut?

01:02:38.000 And of course you look it up and it's the Aztecs and all these ancient civilizations.

01:02:42.000 Wherever there was peanuts, they thought of mashing them up.

01:02:46.000 So yeah, the circular saw.

01:02:49.000 So let's read hers first.

01:02:50.000 While living in a shaker community and working as a weaver, Babbitt watched people struggling to cut wood with a pit saw. 1.00

01:02:55.000 So she decided to use the already invented circular saw, which required two users and only blah, blah, blah. 0.92

01:03:00.000 Determined to help, she attached a circular blade to her spinning wheel and invented a much more efficient circular saw.

01:03:06.000 Yes, and I discovered Tim Dillon and Tom Green and Eminem.

01:03:12.000 And I invented the iPhone and the Apple GPS tag.

01:03:18.000 Just because you think of something that's already around or you notice that someone's good doesn't mean that you're responsible for that success.

01:03:27.000 So I looked it up on Wikipedia.

01:03:32.000 And what does it say?

01:03:34.000 Obviously, when you're looking at something that basic, it's like looking up the wheel, right?

01:03:39.000 So what are you looking up, Brian?

01:03:41.000 This was when you look up who invented the first circular saw.

01:03:44.000 No, just look up circular saw in Wikipedia.

01:03:48.000 I thought I included that.

01:03:50.000 Yeah, I did. 0.96

01:03:50.000 3.7, you dunce. 0.96

01:03:52.000 All right, all right. 0.99

01:03:54.000 This is like black inventors, too. 0.75

01:03:56.000 Okay, circular saw.

01:03:57.000 So again, the problem is, go down a bit.

01:03:59.000 The problem is you're talking about something so basic that there's a lot of controversy because everyone invented it.

01:04:07.000 So 1777, they have some patents.

01:04:11.000 1752, there's a sawmill that roughed out blocks.

01:04:16.000 Another claim it originated in the Netherlands in the 16th or 17th century.

01:04:21.000 The use of the circular saw is said to have been...

01:04:24.000 Look, there you go.

01:04:25.000 Blow that one up.

01:04:26.000 The use of the circular saw in a sawmill is said to have been invented in 1813 by Tabitha Babbitt, a shaker inventor, after she noted the inefficiency of traditional saw pits used by the sawyers in her community and sought an improvement,

01:04:42.000 though this claim is now mostly discredited.

01:04:46.000 So USA today couldn't go to Wikipedia?

01:04:50.000 What?

01:04:51.000 They couldn't just go to Wikipedia?

01:04:53.000 No, this was written by a woman.

01:04:55.000 Josie Garrett.

01:04:56.000 And women invented lying. 1.00

01:05:00.000 For real.

01:05:01.000 They invented exaggerating and they invented being agreeable and they invented optimism.

01:05:05.000 And those are all good traits for a mother. 0.98

01:05:07.000 They're not great traits for a journalist.

01:05:10.000 So what they do is the same thing as black inventors. 1.00

01:05:13.000 They take a woman being tangentially associated with a major accomplishment, just like hidden figures right above me here.

01:05:23.000 Just like these broads. 1.00

01:05:25.000 They take women tangentially associated with something, and they say, I did it. 0.95

01:05:29.000 Just like Malcolm Nance.

01:05:31.000 Having a scud missile splash in the waters that he had been in a week before and saying, yeah, I got shot at.

01:05:39.000 Let me show you what men make. 0.98

01:05:41.000 3.9.

01:05:43.000 I actually don't remember what this is.

01:05:45.000 I hope it's not the oil thing again.

01:05:47.000 No.

01:05:48.000 Oh my God.

01:05:49.000 This thing's faster than some. 0.54

01:05:51.000 Yeah.

01:05:52.000 I don't understand.

01:05:53.000 So it's light sensors.

01:05:57.000 It's color sensors.

01:05:58.000 That fast and that accurate.

01:06:00.000 And it knows how to hit it in a way that gets it the fuck out of there?

01:06:04.000 Yeah, well, there's a series.

01:06:05.000 There's a whole row of pads, of paddles, I should say.

01:06:09.000 And the color sensors can sense when it's not red.

01:06:13.000 And they get something like 90% of them, 85% of them.

01:06:20.000 How many hundreds of hours does that?

01:06:22.000 That's making...

01:06:23.000 This is called a Mexican nightmare. 1.00

01:06:26.000 Jose is shitting his pants right now. 0.99

01:06:28.000 Oh, no, it's really all of them. 0.98

01:06:31.000 Look at those little paddles. 0.99

01:06:32.000 They're really knocking us out.

01:06:34.000 He doesn't even need a lunch break.

01:06:36.000 He's so fast.

01:06:37.000 He doesn't steal some of the apples to bring home.

01:06:41.000 He doesn't sue me if I don't show up and I try to sue him.

01:06:46.000 He's not scared of workers' comp.

01:06:50.000 All right, let's...

01:06:50.000 We didn't start the show, but we started the show.

01:06:53.000 Let's do some racism.

01:06:55.000 Yeah.

01:06:56.000 I love doing racism.

01:07:00.000 Go to Harlem.

01:07:02.000 Just a little research.

01:07:03.000 I'm a black female.

01:07:05.000 What other different... 0.95

01:07:06.000 What else could I have done to piss you off? 0.99

01:07:09.000 Black woman? 1.00

01:07:11.000 This is really inconvenient. 0.99

01:07:23.000 Today in black news, African-American women, black women, as we just discussed in the intro, have ruined ballet and turned it into a strange... 1.00

01:07:33.000 You know when you put socks on a cat and they don't seem to like it? 0.65

01:07:38.000 Well, this is what happens when you put hip-hop on ballet.

01:07:42.000 You end up with this little dance.

01:07:51.000 How is that ballet?

01:07:52.000 Because you're on your tippy toes?

01:07:54.000 This is just tippy toes hip-hop.

01:07:58.000 Oh, that's another good name for the show.

01:07:59.000 Tippy Toes Hip Hop.

01:08:01.000 That literally looks like 1,000 cats.

01:08:07.000 Like, all they did was take the thing where you're on your tippy toes.

01:08:11.000 And why does it have to be blackified?

01:08:14.000 Do I go into black things and whitify them? 0.94

01:08:16.000 That's going to be a common theme here.

01:08:20.000 I've already seen, I sent you this earlier, Ryan.

01:08:23.000 It's in an email called Quite a Comparison.

01:08:26.000 I've already seen blacks, a black interpretation of ballet, and it is beautiful, but it's not something I think we should be encouraging. 1.00

01:08:36.000 Oh, this is them reinterpreting figure skating.

01:08:38.000 Sorry, not ballet.

01:08:45.000 Beautiful.

01:09:01.000 All right, this brings a segue I've been meaning to get to for a while, the brownwashing of our culture. 0.99

01:09:06.000 Not based on that figure skating joke I just showed you, but based on the ballet thing.

01:09:13.000 There's this diversity is about promoting anti-whiteness. 0.95

01:09:17.000 And one of the ways you promote anti-whiteness is to take everything white and make it black. 0.85

01:09:22.000 Honeymooners is black now. 1.00

01:09:24.000 If you dare consider the inverse, you're fucking dead. 1.00

01:09:29.000 And if you recall, what do you call that place upstate? 1.00

01:09:31.000 Utica?

01:09:34.000 Yes.

01:09:34.000 In Utica, there was a school play, and they were doing Beauty and the Beast or The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

01:09:42.000 Now, the Hunchback of Notre Dame has a female protagonist in it, and she's a gypsy. 1.00

01:09:47.000 She's half gypsy, actually. 1.00

01:09:50.000 You know who else is half gypsy? 1.00

01:09:52.000 Kennedy of Fox Business.

01:09:55.000 So if you think Kennedy is Caucasian, you're right. 1.00

01:09:58.000 If you think the chick in Beauty and the Beast, or Hunchback of Notre Dame is Caucasian, you're right. 1.00

01:10:03.000 But because she's painted slightly beige in some of the Disney movies and she has black hair, she's Beyonce. 1.00

01:10:10.000 She's black. 0.99

01:10:13.000 And so when this high school chose a white girl to play her because she was the best singer, they went fucking ballistic. 0.99

01:10:20.000 And we showed this, this was years ago on an old episode. 0.98

01:10:23.000 They had a six hour. 0.99

01:10:25.000 Holy shit, you found it. 0.97

01:10:26.000 Yeah, we downloaded it. 0.97

01:10:30.000 How long is this thing?

01:10:31.000 Three hours?

01:10:31.000 Three hours.

01:10:32.000 Bitching about how racist we are. 0.99

01:10:35.000 So if you don't get a black woman... 1.00

01:10:38.000 No, if you get a white woman to portray a woman who's slightly not white, that's the most racist thing in the world. 0.99

01:10:44.000 However, to go the other way and have blacks portray whites is perfectly normal. 1.00

01:10:49.000 So you can do the second one.

01:10:51.000 You can have blacks portray white roles, but I want Conan O'Brien to play Malcolm X. Please? 0.74

01:10:58.000 Can we do that? 1.00

01:10:59.000 Listen to these fucking boring secular Jews. 1.00

01:11:03.000 Thank you. 1.00

01:11:06.000 Go back above.

01:11:07.000 Remember all these?

01:11:08.000 I'm most proud of the kids because they were smart enough to know that something is going on here. 0.96

01:11:24.000 This is the type of chick that doesn't wash her vibrator. 1.00

01:11:39.000 What are you filming, Chinese girl? 0.98

01:11:41.000 The back of her head? 0.98

01:11:45.000 This guy sent another baby monster contribution. 0.99

01:11:50.000 The sequel to Black Panther is even dumber and more woke than you may have guessed. 0.92

01:11:54.000 They took the very first Marvel character, Namor Mackenzie, and made him into an Aztec. 0.83

01:12:01.000 In the original story, he was half Scottish, half Atlantean.

01:12:05.000 He was the first superhero to fly, before Superman, even.

01:12:09.000 And Aquaman is a plagiarism of him.

01:12:12.000 He's arguably the first anti-hero in fiction. 0.97

01:12:14.000 I know your stance on this shit, but the character has historical significance. 0.98

01:12:19.000 He's so old, he used to be in comics beating up Japanese and Germans and crushing their tanks and submarines. 0.99

01:12:25.000 He is yet one more red-headed character that has been blackwashed, or in this case brownwashed. 1.00

01:12:31.000 They are throwing a Scottish heritage in the trash because white people are a plague. 1.00

01:12:36.000 Roman culture that this mythology was inspired by has to be torn down. 1.00

01:12:42.000 Naymore is just Roman backwards. 1.00

01:12:44.000 The guy in charge of the Marvel Cinematic Universe said as much, not letting Doctor Strange be in a show because he didn't want another white guy saving the day.

01:12:52.000 Wow, who is this? 0.97

01:12:55.000 Clown. 1.00

01:12:56.000 This is about castigating the Irish-Scottish and building resentment between them and blacks. 1.00

01:13:01.000 Why? 0.60

01:13:03.000 Because as you know from Sal's Black, Rednecks, White Liberals, their cultures are intertwined. 0.94

01:13:07.000 It is just classic divide and conquer.

01:13:09.000 Of course, the ECG stuff you taught me about applies.

01:13:12.000 BlackRock owns 14% of Disney.

01:13:16.000 And then he provides a list of red-haired characters turned black.

01:13:21.000 Arielle of Little Mermaid, Batwoman, Batgirl, Commissioner Gordon, all three of them in different unrelated projects.

01:13:28.000 Mary Jane, Starfire, Little Orphan Annie, Jimmy Olson, Cyclone, Hawk Girl, Irish West, Wally West, April O'Neill, Hirndahl, Electro.

01:13:38.000 It just goes on and on and on.

01:13:40.000 And then I sent you a pile of pictures recently, Ryguy, of all of these white characters blackified. 1.00

01:13:49.000 I mean, it goes on and on and on, but let's just show some so we have them all collected in one spot.

01:13:56.000 Do you remember this?

01:13:57.000 Yeah, checking it out right now.

01:13:59.000 Blackification. 0.98

01:14:00.000 Did I text them to you?

01:14:01.000 I may have texted them to you.

01:14:02.000 I think it was an emotion.

01:14:04.000 Oh, your nose is so itchy today.

01:14:06.000 Sorry.

01:14:06.000 Itchy nose.

01:14:07.000 People who don't do Coke always assume that you're on Coke if you touch your nose. 0.99

01:14:12.000 Like, I could have this kind of a normal cadence and be on top of shit if I was on Coke. 0.99

01:14:17.000 True. 0.99

01:14:17.000 I don't think you've done Coke if you think this could be on Coke. 0.99

01:14:23.000 It could be on beer.

01:14:27.000 I think this compulsion to make white characters in history black comes with animosity.

01:14:33.000 It's not fun.

01:14:34.000 Like when they, remember the fight I had in Chicago when they made Santa black for my kids?

01:14:42.000 That wasn't just, here's a fun idea.

01:14:44.000 We're going to try this on for size.

01:14:46.000 And I had to explain to them, why wouldn't you make Santa a woman? 1.00

01:14:49.000 If it's fictional and it doesn't matter.

01:14:52.000 Because they're mad about something.

01:14:55.000 There's your everyday British person.

01:14:57.000 I mean, that's arguable these days.

01:14:59.000 That doesn't seem so malicious. 0.99

01:15:01.000 There's some fucking old queen lady. 1.00

01:15:04.000 Who's that? 1.00

01:15:04.000 Beatrice? 1.00

01:15:05.000 That looks like a bee? 0.98

01:15:06.000 Now, why do you want to make her black? 1.00

01:15:10.000 I don't think it's benevolent.

01:15:12.000 Zoom out.

01:15:16.000 Doctor who confirms sex education's Nakuti Gatwa as Time Lord, replacing Jody Whitaker.

01:15:24.000 There's just...

01:15:24.000 What is that now?

01:15:26.000 Oh, that's the whole...

01:15:27.000 That's kind of a different subject.

01:15:28.000 Oceans are way too white. 0.99

01:15:30.000 White men must be stopped. 1.00

01:15:36.000 So now we're getting into replacement stuff. 0.97

01:15:38.000 But I'm more interested in these fictional characters.

01:15:40.000 I think I sent you too many pictures.

01:15:44.000 Oh, yeah. 0.60

01:15:45.000 That one is like some Viking warlord king who they made into a black woman. 1.00

01:15:53.000 That's awesome.

01:15:54.000 By the way, they also played that queen, no, king, woman, woman, king trailer before.

01:16:02.000 And I was like saying to my kids, I'll explain this later, but it's pretty bad.

01:16:09.000 Killer, what is it?

01:16:11.000 Ruler of Norway, Hakon Sergutson will be played by Caroline Henderson.

01:16:16.000 At least they got the S-O-N right. 1.00

01:16:18.000 Look at those two.

01:16:19.000 Do they look similar?

01:16:20.000 And again, imagine you did that to We Was Kangs.

01:16:24.000 I mean, I don't know who you'd have to do it to because the We Was Kangs are Egyptians and they look like Sicilians. 0.83

01:16:31.000 Got any more?

01:16:34.000 Okay, so that was a joke, right?

01:16:36.000 That was a meme joke.

01:16:38.000 But if you go next, you'll see that it's now true.

01:16:43.000 Global TV begins production on Robin Hood series to reimagine classic English folk hero as black female Gen Zer.

01:16:51.000 Now, some of this is just, I want more customers, so I'm going to reinvent the thing.

01:16:58.000 But a lot of it is bitter animosity towards white people.

01:17:02.000 Which I don't understand because you seem pretty nice.

01:17:07.000 Stick with it, Scotland, for yourselves and each other.

01:17:10.000 There are about three black people in Scotland.

01:17:13.000 That's one of them.

01:17:14.000 That's one of them.

01:17:15.000 The other two are looking at that and they're like, why not me?

01:17:18.000 That's a one-third shot of being on that billboard.

01:17:22.000 Oh, we talked about that guy yesterday.

01:17:24.000 Keep going.

01:17:27.000 There's a whole list of various...

01:17:29.000 This is the whole Game of Thrones prequel, too, where you're looking at black hobbits and black, you know, medieval queens, and you're just like, sorry, it pulls me out of it.

01:17:38.000 You know, Walt Disney was seen as racist because he said I shouldn't have black people at Disneyland.

01:17:43.000 But it wasn't like, I don't like them.

01:17:45.000 He goes, we're doing like old German castles. 0.95

01:17:48.000 Kind of pulls you out of it if it's a black dude. 1.00

01:17:51.000 Well, sorry, it pulls me out of it if Joan of Arc and Sir Lancelot and Julius Caesar are black.

01:17:58.000 How do they actually make these black? 0.99

01:17:59.000 Sir Mixilot, Jay Zealius Caesar, Morpheus.

01:18:05.000 Actually, that's what Sir Mixilot is based on. 0.99

01:18:08.000 Oh, shit. 0.98

01:18:09.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:18:11.000 Achilles, Yo, DJ Joan of Arc.

01:18:15.000 You know what happens, too?

01:18:16.000 The blacks are so sensitive about us doing the reverse that when DNA tests show a pharaoh or King Tut or any ancient Egyptian as Caucasian-looking, and it's DNA. 0.99

01:18:27.000 It's science. 0.95

01:18:28.000 It's not someone doing a rough sketch.

01:18:30.000 Black Twitter goes ballistic.

01:18:33.000 We talked about that last week, right? 0.99

01:18:35.000 Yo, why are you making him so white, though? 0.91

01:18:36.000 Maya of Angelou.

01:18:40.000 Hannibal Burris Baraka.

01:18:43.000 Okay, go.

01:18:45.000 Remember the Irish guy yesterday?

01:18:47.000 All over Ireland, you're going to see Barakabamas. 1.00

01:18:50.000 Barakabamas.

01:18:55.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

01:18:57.000 Really, the fucking fairy godmother really took a dive, didn't she? 1.00

01:19:02.000 From a six to a one? 1.00

01:19:08.000 Let's see.

01:19:08.000 The Lion and the Witch in the Wardrobe, casting a noun.

01:19:11.000 The whitest possible book imaginable.

01:19:14.000 The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. 0.75

01:19:16.000 And the thing I resent about it is it implies that blacks can't enjoy it if it's white characters. 1.00

01:19:21.000 Well, fuck you. 1.00

01:19:22.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:19:23.000 You're 10%, 14% of the population.

01:19:26.000 You're in a country that is majority white, and you can't imagine what white people are like. 0.85

01:19:31.000 Like, you can't enjoy a book that they're in.

01:19:35.000 Well, I want to look at someone that looks like me.

01:19:37.000 I like barbershop, but I prefer if it's all Greek guys. 1.00

01:19:41.000 Yeah.

01:19:42.000 That's like my wife, who's half ho-chunk and half Slav, going, when I watch TV, I don't see anyone like me. 0.96

01:19:49.000 Yeah, no, there are two Slavic Ho-Chunks in the world, my wife and her brother. 1.00

01:19:54.000 Yeah.

01:19:55.000 Importance of being Ernest.

01:19:56.000 Also, the whitest.

01:19:57.000 See, isn't it weird, too, how they're going for the very whitest things imaginable? 1.00

01:20:01.000 Yeah.

01:20:02.000 Why don't they go to like Ernest Goes to camp and it's a black guy fumbling around? 1.00

01:20:06.000 Yeah.

01:20:06.000 The importance of Ernest going to camp.

01:20:09.000 The importance of Ernest going to school, Ernest getting a job, Ernest showing up on time.

01:20:15.000 This is white. 0.99

01:20:16.000 And here's another thing about all this bullshit. 1.00

01:20:18.000 It doesn't change Tolkien. 0.99

01:20:20.000 It just has people go, meh, I'm not going to watch it.

01:20:23.000 And this is what I was screaming about with my kids and these woke books, especially my eldest boy, my 13-year-old and his friends.

01:20:29.000 They bombard them with gender queer, and this book is about a black female astronaut. 0.99

01:20:33.000 They don't go, oh, wow, you opened my mind.

01:20:35.000 You know what they do? 1.00

01:20:36.000 They go, books are fucking gay. 1.00

01:20:39.000 And my son and his baseball team, none of them read books. 1.00

01:20:43.000 The woke schools have cursed books. 1.00

01:20:46.000 There's no Hunter Thompson.

01:20:47.000 There will never be a Confederacy of Dunces.

01:20:49.000 There'll never be a Jack Kerouac.

01:20:51.000 There'll never be any of this exciting literature because they ruined books. 0.59

01:20:56.000 T Bor Fisher, The Thought Gang.

01:20:59.000 That's one of the most exciting, cool books a young man can read.

01:21:03.000 The Basketball Diaries.

01:21:05.000 No.

01:21:06.000 Books are about gender.

01:21:08.000 I don't read that. 0.94

01:21:09.000 I'm not a fag. 0.97

01:21:10.000 The Orphan Annie. 0.98

01:21:11.000 Yep, that's an oldie.

01:21:12.000 Oliver Twist's Black.

01:21:13.000 Yo, let me get some more.

01:21:17.000 The Nutty Professor.

01:21:18.000 Yeah, these are the two.

01:21:19.000 That one didn't bother me, though. 1.00

01:21:20.000 That one wasn't supposed to be like, fuck you. 1.00

01:21:23.000 Yeah, that one was... 1.00

01:21:24.000 It was just like, hey, here's a take.

01:21:27.000 Because that movie's so old.

01:21:28.000 And it was so far from The Nutty Professor.

01:21:31.000 Right.

01:21:31.000 Just call it like The Professor or something.

01:21:33.000 It had nothing in common with Jerry Lewis.

01:21:36.000 Yeah.

01:21:40.000 All right, let's go back to 5-4.

01:21:43.000 There was still a couple more.

01:21:44.000 Oh, you still have more?

01:21:45.000 No, no.

01:21:47.000 There was repeats.

01:21:49.000 So a lot of this stuff is based on the assumption that white people are racist, that I'm racist.

01:21:53.000 And it's not true.

01:21:54.000 So I annoy, I annoy, I'm insulted by the implication.

01:21:57.000 When you say the first American Indian astronaut, you're implying that I said no to them previously. 0.72

01:22:04.000 And the only way they can perpetuate that myth, because it justifies affirmative action, it justifies a war on meritocracy.

01:22:11.000 But our racism has to exist.

01:22:13.000 Because if it doesn't exist, the whole house of cards comes crumbling down.

01:22:16.000 Now, if we're not racist, then the reason that hidden figures, wait, is this the right background?

01:22:22.000 Yeah.

01:22:23.000 The reason that hidden figures isn't credited for putting man on the moon is racism.

01:22:28.000 But that's not why.

01:22:29.000 The reason they're not credited with it is because they didn't do it.

01:22:32.000 They were math janitors.

01:22:34.000 Black person did not invent the light bulb or the traffic light or peanut butter. 0.91

01:22:39.000 So stop pretending that I'm holding people back. 0.84

01:22:42.000 But there's big money in anti-meritocracy.

01:22:45.000 The problem with meritocracy is only people with merit benefit.

01:22:49.000 If you can smash meritocracy, now I can control who gets what.

01:22:55.000 And now there's a lot more going around and I get a bigger piece of it.

01:22:59.000 Me being the bureaucrat in charge of this.

01:23:01.000 So one thing they do is they give you these infomercials where they pretend we're all racist.

01:23:06.000 And it's such a given assumption that they say, stop doing it.

01:23:16.000 Hey, Gavin, stop scowling at Chinese immigrants and being like... 1.00

01:23:24.000 Okay, done. 0.66

01:23:26.000 Go to 5-4.

01:23:28.000 Walk a mile in my shoes, they said.

01:23:32.000 Okay, but don't you practice footbinding?

01:23:36.000 Hey, we're having a good time.

01:23:38.000 This looks cool.

01:23:39.000 Wait a minute.

01:23:41.000 Why are there to get inside?

01:23:43.000 Why is there each other's mouth? 0.77

01:23:45.000 Aren't there black people? 0.99

01:23:46.000 Go back, go back. 0.99

01:23:47.000 I should have green screened this.

01:23:50.000 Okay, white person, white person.

01:23:53.000 White people? 0.82

01:23:55.000 Little kid?

01:23:58.000 Wait, is he mad at?

01:23:59.000 Who's he mad at?

01:24:01.000 If we could find a way to get that guy?

01:24:07.000 Hold on a second.

01:24:07.000 Is he at the gym?

01:24:09.000 Like, why would he feel like that? 0.78

01:24:09.000 Yeah, you don't want fat people at your barbecue? 0.78

01:24:13.000 He's going to eat all the hamburgers?

01:24:14.000 He'd probably improve your recipe.

01:24:15.000 You'd be like, no. 0.82

01:24:16.000 Because there was black people at that barbecue.

01:24:18.000 Yeah, right in the beginning there.

01:24:20.000 So maybe they're trying to dupe us by saying this isn't just about racism. 1.00

01:24:23.000 This is about being a jerk. 1.00

01:24:26.000 Tallism? 1.00

01:24:27.000 Oh, maybe...

01:24:28.000 Are they...

01:24:31.000 Are they all talking to him?

01:24:33.000 Okay, here's what's going on.

01:24:34.000 This is a trick.

01:24:35.000 So the first one says something can seem inclusive, but people are still forced to feel left out.

01:24:41.000 So they start out with that.

01:24:42.000 That's the bait that pulls you in.

01:24:44.000 And now they make it into racism.

01:24:46.000 So look at this.

01:24:46.000 Everyone's having fun.

01:24:48.000 Oh, a black wants to sit down. 1.00

01:24:51.000 Yeah, no. 0.99

01:24:53.000 First of all, he doesn't want to sit there.

01:24:56.000 A. B, a bunch of white women and a black guy want to sit down. 1.00

01:25:01.000 They'd be so thrilled to have their black friend. 0.87

01:25:05.000 So that's insane, that scenario that was just depicted. 0.79

01:25:08.000 They are dying for him to sit there, and he doesn't even want to sit there.

01:25:12.000 And what does that look about? 0.99

01:25:13.000 That look doesn't say to me, like, ew, you disgusting. 1.00

01:25:16.000 Yeah, it looks like she wants to fuck him. 1.00

01:25:18.000 He's like, hey, you know what it looks like? 1.00

01:25:20.000 It looks like she did fuck him. 1.00

01:25:22.000 Oh, and it went back. 1.00

01:25:24.000 And he wants to do it again.

01:25:26.000 And she's like, my husband will find out.

01:25:30.000 I told you no.

01:25:31.000 It's over.

01:25:32.000 Stop.

01:25:32.000 Why are you getting so kind?

01:25:33.000 You're making my pussy wet. 1.00

01:25:35.000 I'm horny too. 1.00

01:25:36.000 He was like, yeah, I am.

01:25:38.000 Yeah, you're right.

01:25:39.000 I know, I know.

01:25:40.000 And by the way, I thought it was worth a try.

01:25:41.000 Mr. Brandnew uniform.

01:25:44.000 That looks like an easy place to work.

01:25:47.000 No sweat, no stains.

01:25:49.000 It's not like the mud oil, dudes.

01:25:51.000 And do you want a guy sitting at your table who's so bummed out that there's not a seat for him? 0.99

01:25:55.000 He's like, ah, shit, they're not going to get up for me. 0.99

01:25:57.000 These women... 1.00

01:25:58.000 Yeah, there's nowhere to sit, dude.

01:25:59.000 These women aren't going to get up and give me their seat. 1.00

01:26:03.000 Yeah, that's not how it works.

01:26:04.000 That's not chivalry.

01:26:06.000 To feel like that.

01:26:07.000 No, she took my spot, man. 0.99

01:26:09.000 That sucks. 1.00

01:26:09.000 This is pathetic. 1.00

01:26:11.000 Remember how I said Malcolm Nansen, his buddy, was 13 years old? 1.00

01:26:15.000 This is fucking early teens garbage. 0.99

01:26:18.000 To be you, I believe you'd be surprised to see. 1.00

01:26:24.000 Okay, what?

01:26:25.000 That you've been blind. 1.00

01:26:27.000 What the fuck was that? 1.00

01:26:29.000 Wait, someone was throwing someone a football, and then the black guy took it. 1.00

01:26:35.000 Who took it? 1.00

01:26:40.000 Oh my god, do you realize what the fuck that was? 1.00

01:26:42.000 A gay? 1.00

01:26:43.000 No, he's a chink. 1.00

01:26:45.000 And they don't know how to play basketball football.

01:26:49.000 See, no, no, no.

01:26:50.000 They're making us racist now.

01:26:52.000 They're like, here, this is wrong, and you figure out why.

01:26:54.000 And now we're just throwing a million things at the wall.

01:26:56.000 This is what happens to Chinese immigrants in America. 0.93

01:27:00.000 Someone's throwing a football, and then an American native, you know, will grab the football because they're not good. 1.00

01:27:07.000 You guys suck at football. 0.97

01:27:09.000 And he'll walk away. 1.00

01:27:11.000 And the poor Chinese guy can't catch the football that was thrown to him. 1.00

01:27:15.000 That was thrown to the Chinaman. 1.00

01:27:19.000 It's an interception.

01:27:20.000 You got to watch out for those.

01:27:23.000 Are you behind glass?

01:27:24.000 Like, we're never going to catch that.

01:27:26.000 Yeah, you're in another room.

01:27:28.000 Could have bounced off the glass.

01:27:30.000 No, sorry.

01:27:31.000 Let me rephrase that.

01:27:32.000 You could have bounced out of glass.

01:27:33.000 Could have bounced off the glass.

01:27:34.000 Maybe you could have tried to smash the subscribe to the glass.

01:27:39.000 Don't forget to smash the window with the football, guys. 0.65

01:27:43.000 Dump fire. 0.86

01:27:44.000 Look at this. 0.99

01:27:45.000 So these Indians come here. 1.00

01:27:46.000 They're having a great time.

01:27:46.000 We're like, hey, you.

01:27:49.000 Look at the mom. 1.00

01:27:51.000 Are you fucking kidding me? 0.99

01:27:52.000 That's the best part of this whole thing. 0.99

01:27:54.000 Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

01:27:56.000 Did they edit out the parts that actually would make this?

01:27:59.000 So an Indian family sees their neighbors.

01:28:02.000 They just moved here.

01:28:03.000 They're so thrilled. 0.99

01:28:04.000 The little girl says, hi, and the white woman's like, are you fucking kidding me? 0.99

01:28:08.000 Packies live next door now? 0.99

01:28:10.000 It's so much more subtle than that.

01:28:12.000 She's kind of like, well, we're having a conversation. 0.99

01:28:13.000 What the fuck are these people doing? 1.00

01:28:16.000 And the dad's like, I don't know what the fuck's going on over there. 1.00

01:28:18.000 We're in the middle of an argument here. 0.99

01:28:20.000 We're having a serious conversation.

01:28:21.000 100.

01:28:22.000 I'll take things that didn't happen for 1,000, Alex.

01:28:25.000 Look at her.

01:28:26.000 Even if this did happen, nothing happened.

01:28:28.000 Hey, oh, that's another thing, too, is that's so bad the neighbors don't like you.

01:28:31.000 But secondly, wait, I forgot what I was saying.

01:28:38.000 Yeah, even if they were, yeah, this is it.

01:28:40.000 Even if they were racist and they waved, the racists would be like, eh, hey, hi. 1.00

01:28:44.000 Yeah, fuck. 1.00

01:28:47.000 That's what racists do. 1.00

01:28:49.000 They go, hey.

01:28:52.000 Is this supposed to be so bad?

01:28:53.000 Like, the look, I mean, this is all.

01:28:55.000 Didn't you escape?

01:28:56.000 You're an immigrant. 1.00

01:28:57.000 You escaped like 110-degree heat, fucking diarrhea on the streets, and the neighbors don't diddle their bean when you walk by. 1.00

01:29:05.000 Okay. 1.00

01:29:05.000 I'll take it. 1.00

01:29:06.000 Her cheek still hurts from the last stoning she got.

01:29:08.000 It beats Lahore, Pakistan.

01:29:10.000 Look at this stand-up.

01:29:12.000 My cousin was beheaded for blasphemy.

01:29:14.000 Like, this is his body language.

01:29:17.000 He's standing in front of a home with his hands on his hips, and they stop.

01:29:22.000 They do a cold stop, and they're just staring.

01:29:25.000 Only the baby's waving. 0.99

01:29:27.000 And then the woman's like, what the fuck is going on? 0.99

01:29:30.000 I love how she looks to me. 1.00

01:29:31.000 Do you believe this shit? 1.00

01:29:33.000 The Chinese guy is like, I get it too. 1.00

01:29:35.000 I mean, I do make twice the average American salary.

01:29:38.000 And I, where ethnic whites are seven on the prosperity list in America, I'm one. 1.00

01:29:44.000 But besides that, you believe this shit? 1.00

01:29:50.000 It must suck moving here. 1.00

01:29:52.000 Okay, don't come. 0.97

01:29:54.000 Bye-bye.

01:29:55.000 Home to mommy.

01:29:58.000 We're so mean to our immigrants. 1.00

01:30:02.000 This is the biggest pile of horseshit I may have ever seen in my life. 1.00

01:30:07.000 Wave back. 0.99

01:30:08.000 Start with having your kids wave to packies. 0.65

01:30:12.000 They're having an argument.

01:30:14.000 So now it looks like she wasn't doing that to them.

01:30:15.000 She's yelling at her husband going, you serious he didn't take the garbage out?

01:30:18.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.95

01:30:20.000 If you mean take the garbage out, get rid of these neighbors.

01:30:22.000 I'm working on it.

01:30:24.000 Can you stop your argument?

01:30:25.000 We're standing here.

01:30:28.000 We want to.

01:30:29.000 Let's do a green screen here because I found another one I haven't seen yet.

01:30:33.000 It's about how we have to talk to our kids about racism.

01:30:35.000 And by the way, we don't.

01:30:37.000 Actually, okay.

01:30:46.000 Come on, everybody.

01:30:50.000 We actually do have to talk to our kids about racism. 0.99

01:30:53.000 We have to talk to our kids about how everything they're being told about racism is bullshit. 0.99

01:30:57.000 We did not burn down Black Wall Street. 0.99

01:31:01.000 Woman King is about a tribe who were brutal colonists who all but invented slavery and would murder everything in their wake, steal, kill, and then turn the survivors into slaves and sell them. 0.92

01:31:13.000 That was their culture.

01:31:15.000 Yes, Britain did go against them.

01:31:17.000 You know why?

01:31:18.000 Because Britain said, You guys got to take it easy with the slavery.

01:31:21.000 Please stop.

01:31:22.000 And you know what Dahomey said?

01:31:23.000 Yes, the tribe is called Dahomey.

01:31:26.000 They said, no, we can't get rid of slavery. 0.98

01:31:28.000 That's our culture.

01:31:28.000 Why were there female warriors?

01:31:30.000 Because the men died in battle capturing all these slaves. 0.77

01:31:34.000 So they had to have women train and capture slaves. 1.00

01:31:39.000 If you want reparations, ask Dahomies. 1.00

01:31:43.000 Oh, that's a good zinger.

01:31:44.000 Anyway, so you should talk to kids about what's really going on, about how they're being brainwashed into thinking America's racist, how this country was built on slavery as a myth, how the 1619 project is a farce, and how we didn't steal this land from the Indians.

01:31:58.000 We fought them for 400 years and eventually won.

01:32:01.000 What you shouldn't do is sit down and tell your kids that America is racist and you're racist and you're intrinsically enjoying all this privilege.

01:32:11.000 I guess Asians don't enjoy this privilege. 0.97

01:32:14.000 I don't understand that logic.

01:32:17.000 I think the talk is abuse.

01:32:19.000 When I say the talk in this context, I mean that thing where black people sit down, their kids at a certain age and explain to them they live in a Klan rally and no matter what they do, they'll have to work twice as hard to survive.

01:32:33.000 I think all that's evil.

01:32:35.000 And my belief as a parent is you want to keep four things from your children away from them as long as possible.

01:32:44.000 Sex.

01:32:45.000 You don't want them asking about sex. 0.92

01:32:47.000 You don't want them knowing about sex.

01:32:48.000 You don't want anything sexual near them.

01:32:50.000 It'll happen on its own.

01:32:51.000 And when it does, talk to them about it.

01:32:54.000 Like 13, 14.

01:32:56.000 Santa.

01:32:57.000 You want Santa to last as long as humanly possible.

01:33:00.000 I think, as Trump said, seven or eight is around the edge.

01:33:05.000 9-11.

01:33:06.000 I didn't want my kids knowing what 9-11 was.

01:33:08.000 I don't want them being in a building knowing it's possible a plane could come smashing into the building at any moment.

01:33:14.000 That's not a good thing to know.

01:33:16.000 And number four, race.

01:33:18.000 I didn't want my kids knowing what race was.

01:33:21.000 And I felt this was a massive victory when my son was about seven or eight.

01:33:25.000 He said, how come so many of my friends have black skin?

01:33:28.000 He didn't even know what a black person was.

01:33:31.000 He just noticed their skin was dark.

01:33:34.000 That's an accomplishment as a parent.

01:33:36.000 These people are encouraging the opposite of that.

01:33:39.000 Let kids know when they're babies that America's racist. 0.99

01:33:42.000 Let white people know that they're guilty and they've done horrible things. 0.99

01:33:45.000 And that black people know they're under siege. 1.00

01:33:48.000 In both cases, that's child abuse. 1.00

01:33:50.000 Let's hear what these fuckers have to say. 1.00

01:33:55.000 Watch the full movie. 1.00

01:33:56.000 That's what we want to do.

01:33:59.000 Why are the police treating people differently?

01:34:01.000 Can't they get in trouble for treating people differently?

01:34:04.000 We've talked about the subject a little bit, and I want to know what you're doing.

01:34:07.000 Wait, stop.

01:34:09.000 That kid is like five.

01:34:12.000 Maybe six.

01:34:15.000 Treating people differently? 1.00

01:34:16.000 What the fuck are you talking? 1.00

01:34:18.000 Don't be a bully. 1.00

01:34:18.000 Don't be mean. 1.00

01:34:19.000 If you see someone getting bullied, stand up for them.

01:34:22.000 And if you see someone beating up your sister, you're told to go and get a teacher.

01:34:26.000 That's not true.

01:34:27.000 Don't do that.

01:34:28.000 If someone is beating up your sister, jump in and beat them up. 0.98

01:34:33.000 About racism.

01:34:35.000 Do you remember how old you were when your mom or dad even had a conversation about racial discrimination with you?

01:34:45.000 Hold on a sec.

01:34:47.000 I'm thinking now, when did I become aware of racism as a thing?

01:34:54.000 I would say like 14 or 15.

01:34:58.000 It never occurred to me.

01:34:59.000 Now, I'm in Canada at this point, so it's different than being in the Bronx.

01:35:03.000 But what about you, Ryan?

01:35:04.000 When were you first taught about racism?

01:35:06.000 And you're a Japanese man and a Puerto Rican and blacks are different and all that?

01:35:12.000 I think I remember the first memory of it was like when we learned about the KKK or something.

01:35:17.000 Like something relevant to racism.

01:35:20.000 It wasn't just taught.

01:35:21.000 But I bet you were super young if you're in the Bronx.

01:35:23.000 No.

01:35:24.000 No, no, no.

01:35:25.000 I don't know.

01:35:26.000 I recall it being like at least middle school or something.

01:35:30.000 It wasn't a thing.

01:35:31.000 It was maybe Martin Luther King.

01:35:32.000 Whenever they taught us about Martin Luther King, maybe like sixth grade or something.

01:35:36.000 Yeah, that sounds right.

01:35:37.000 65% of white adults said their parents rarely or never spoke to them about racism.

01:35:42.000 Good.

01:35:48.000 So now white is capitalized?

01:35:51.000 I love the music.

01:35:53.000 Is this about brain cancer?

01:35:57.000 Race became real for me at five.

01:35:59.000 I was in kindergarten.

01:36:01.000 Klansky killed me. 0.69

01:36:04.000 We were sitting at little round tables, and you probably remember sitting at round tables at that age.

01:36:09.000 And one of my classmates went around and invited everybody at the table to her birthday party, except for me. 0.99

01:36:17.000 Well, one caveat, you should explain that you were a cunt when you were five. 1.00

01:36:21.000 And everyone hated your guts because you were a nightmare. 1.00

01:36:23.000 You'd go to their cubbies and steal pencils. 1.00

01:36:26.000 I don't know how old this woman is, but if she's my age and this happened after 1970, I call bullshit. 0.99

01:36:33.000 I was the only black kid at the table. 0.97

01:36:35.000 So I just asked her, I said, hey, I noticed you invited everybody at this table to your birthday party except for me.

01:36:41.000 You know, why did you do that? 0.86

01:36:44.000 And she looked at me kind of matter of factly and said, well, you can't come to my birthday party because my dad said black people are not allowed in our home. 0.61

01:36:53.000 I didn't really understand what that meant, right?

01:36:55.000 I'm five.

01:36:56.000 Okay, so a woman experienced racism when she was five. 0.98

01:37:01.000 So now all white parents have to talk to their children about this because this is a major phenomenon. 0.71

01:37:06.000 How many households in America do not allow black people in them? 0.98

01:37:10.000 Yeah, that sounds insane and actually racist. 0.98

01:37:13.000 Seven?

01:37:14.000 The seven households have to conduct how the other 300 million households behave?

01:37:22.000 No.

01:37:23.000 And do you want to get into this?

01:37:24.000 Do you want to get into the white kids when they're the only white kid at the black school, how they get treated?

01:37:29.000 What parties they're not invited to. 1.00

01:37:31.000 Do you really want to open up this Pandora's box, you silly cow? 0.99

01:37:36.000 And I just remember telling my mom the story about what happened. 0.99

01:37:40.000 I remember her head turning to look at my dad.

01:37:45.000 And so the talk is this conversation that black parents have with our black children to prepare them for.

01:37:52.000 I have a feeling that was like a big misunderstanding.

01:37:54.000 She turned to the left to look at my dad, and he wasn't there.

01:37:59.000 In essence, it's this racist world.

01:38:02.000 You know, white people haven't been having these conversations about race and racism with their children the way black families have.

01:38:09.000 And what sometimes I tell white families, I understand that this is hard and this is uncomfortable.

01:38:14.000 Yeah.

01:38:15.000 It is hard and uncomfortable pretending something is a thing when it's not a thing.

01:38:20.000 Not the same as being afraid for your life.

01:38:22.000 These are not the same.

01:38:24.000 I find conversations about ghosts hard and uncomfortable too.

01:38:28.000 Trying to discuss what to do in the case of a ghost invasion.

01:38:32.000 I don't enjoy that conversation.

01:38:34.000 I also hate talking about astrology.

01:38:37.000 Discomfort.

01:38:38.000 For black and brown families, it's life and these looks. 1.00

01:38:42.000 What have I done?

01:38:46.000 Okay, so stop. 0.84

01:38:47.000 Trayvon Martin was beating the shit out of George Zimmerman after several warnings to stop. 0.97

01:38:54.000 George realized he was about to get his gun, so while bloodied to a pulp and lying on the ground, George shot Trayvon, who was attacking him. 0.70

01:39:05.000 Perfectly legitimate case of self-defense.

01:39:08.000 The psychotic Karen that we just saw in Central Park was overreacting, but the bird-watching black nerd, who couldn't wait to make this story all about him and his viral moment, said, you better get your dog away from me. 1.00

01:39:25.000 I carry food for dogs like that. 0.84

01:39:27.000 You won't like what I do to your dog. 0.97

01:39:29.000 Now, she's probably a sad feminist spinster, so threatening her dog was like threatening her kid, and she went ballistic from that. 1.00

01:39:37.000 And during that call, she mentioned his race. 0.94

01:39:40.000 By the way, have you noticed how, obviously Trayvon Martin is a big deal, but how inconsequential some of these examples are.

01:39:47.000 You weren't invited to a birthday party when you were five.

01:39:49.000 Okay.

01:39:51.000 You know who else hasn't been invited to certain birthday parties?

01:39:54.000 Every single person in the world.

01:39:56.000 And then the other one, a woman overreacted when I threatened her dog. 1.00

01:40:01.000 Wow, life must be rough being black. 0.95

01:40:06.000 It's illegal to have now trucks. 0.93

01:40:08.000 I want justice for you.

01:40:09.000 Breonna Taylor, that's a great one.

01:40:11.000 Living with a drug dealer, working for drug dealers, involved in that gang life, posing with guns.

01:40:18.000 She's got a dead body in her rental trunk. 0.95

01:40:20.000 She's carrying all their money around at all times. 0.96

01:40:22.000 Eventually, the inevitable happens, and there's a shootout with the police, and she gets caught in the crossfire because she chose the gangsta lifestyle because she thought it was sexy. 1.00

01:40:31.000 This is not a woman peacefully sleeping in her bed, and a bunch of racists just go, dah, bitch, pound. 1.00

01:40:38.000 Although, we do see innocent black women killed on a regular basis by stray gunfire in the hood because of gang warfare, but that doesn't seem to appear on anyone's radar for some reason. 1.00

01:40:50.000 I knew this would be a pile of shit. 0.99

01:40:53.000 If it was really true, wouldn't there be like a huge compilation of the N-word being said? 0.99

01:40:57.000 Yeah, and why am I so incredibly familiar with every single one of these?

01:41:02.000 There's not one new instance. 1.00

01:41:03.000 Do you know how many black people say cracker and racial epithets and white boy and white motherfuckers every fucking day in the New York City subways? 1.00

01:41:11.000 You may just want to take a train with me around town and see the racial animosity towards whites or the black hatred towards Asians. 1.00

01:41:21.000 This happened so long ago, she has an iPhone 6 with the fucking... 1.00

01:41:26.000 Yes, we got the N-word on Trump. 0.99

01:41:28.000 It's illegal to have now, Trucker.

01:41:33.000 It's illegal to have now.

01:41:34.000 Are they looping it or are you?

01:41:40.000 We asked four white families to talk to their children about racism.

01:41:43.000 Oh, wait.

01:41:44.000 Ray.

01:41:45.000 Okay.

01:41:46.000 Okay, here we go. 0.59

01:41:48.000 Everything white people have has been stolen. 1.00

01:41:51.000 Black people are awesome scientists who should be running the country, but we hate them because we hate melanin. 1.00

01:41:58.000 I know it's confusing. 0.98

01:42:00.000 That's because it's not true.

01:42:02.000 You remember when I told you that when I was eight, my family moved from Kansas back to rural Kentucky.

01:42:09.000 They moved to a little tiny county that had less people than our block does.

01:42:15.000 The first friend that I made there was a kid named Rogers, black kid.

01:42:19.000 And I was instructed that he and I weren't going to be friends anymore because it would, essentially that it would reflect badly on my daddy starting a new business.

01:42:34.000 I remember you touching on that story before, but I...

01:42:37.000 So wait a minute.

01:42:38.000 Oh, so he's already mentioned this story.

01:42:39.000 And look at the melodrama as he pretends that he's dropping this neutron bomb.

01:42:45.000 Okay, this is not easy.

01:42:47.000 I've been holding this in for a while.

01:42:49.000 My dad, I'm old, by the way.

01:42:51.000 I'm 55.

01:42:52.000 He looks like 55 or so, right?

01:42:55.000 65, 75, 80.

01:42:57.000 My 80-year-old dad in a tiny rural town in Kentucky was racist. 0.99

01:43:04.000 You're fucking kidding me. 0.99

01:43:06.000 Why am I hearing about this just right now? 0.99

01:43:08.000 How long has this been going on?

01:43:10.000 80-year-old southerners are racist?

01:43:14.000 What can we do to stop them? 0.99

01:43:15.000 Well, they're going to be dead in about an hour, so nothing.

01:43:19.000 But on top of that, he's saying it like, I can't believe I have to drop this.

01:43:23.000 I'm sick of holding this in.

01:43:24.000 And she's like, yeah, I know, Dad.

01:43:25.000 You've said it before.

01:43:27.000 Got it.

01:43:28.000 I got it.

01:43:29.000 Your dad said something racist when you were eight years old.

01:43:31.000 I think we'll live.

01:43:33.000 Actually, I was holding this in.

01:43:36.000 Thank God. 0.93

01:43:39.000 I know you know this story, but when I was seven years old, I became friends with a nigger. 1.00

01:43:46.000 And then she goes, what? 0.94

01:43:48.000 Ew! 0.98

01:43:48.000 And she starts washing her hands. 0.98

01:43:52.000 I just ate the food that you prepared.

01:43:54.000 You just cut my steak.

01:43:57.000 The food you're eating is actually Chinese.

01:43:58.000 Look at the containers.

01:44:00.000 The food you're eating is made by Chinese people, and they often mix in rats and cats. 1.00

01:44:05.000 They never wash their vegetables.

01:44:07.000 In China, sometimes the grease they use is from sewers.

01:44:12.000 And this has been a long time coming, but I just got to say it. 1.00

01:44:17.000 They cannot drive for shit. 1.00

01:44:19.000 And the Coke that you've been drinking, there's pee-pee. 1.00

01:44:22.000 There's indefinitely going to be some peepee in your Coke.

01:44:24.000 And my father had a saying when we lived near Chinatown, and it was, Chinese drive no salviva. 1.00

01:44:33.000 You should know.

01:44:35.000 Chinese people are also good at math and kung fu.

01:44:41.000 I remember you touching on that story before, but I didn't hear the whole thing.

01:44:47.000 Well, I don't really.

01:44:48.000 I mean, I was eight, so there's my memory is a bit pockmarked on it, too.

01:44:52.000 So it's saying that I'm in Girl Scouts.

01:44:54.000 Pockmarked?

01:44:55.000 Pockmarked.

01:44:56.000 Now you remember that skin from Zits? 1.00

01:44:59.000 You might want to work on that.

01:45:00.000 Pockmark?

01:45:01.000 More people have pockmarks than...

01:45:05.000 My memory is in the smoking section of my high school and got in a fight with Clinton Bedecki for trying to finger Maggie Longclaws.

01:45:13.000 That's Canadian teen jokes.

01:45:15.000 There's always an Indian in them. 1.00

01:45:16.000 So she's got another humdinger.

01:45:17.000 What happened? 1.00

01:45:18.000 You were in fucking Girl Scouts and someone to touch your hair? 1.00

01:45:23.000 And it just so happened that year. 1.00

01:45:24.000 I was the only black kid in Girl Scouts.

01:45:27.000 And so we were out doing a community service project, trying to earn a badge, which is what Girl Scouts do.

01:45:33.000 And all the girls were in a huddle talking. 0.94

01:45:36.000 They took the thin mints and threw them away because they were black. 0.99

01:45:39.000 The tagalongs were fun.

01:45:40.000 The samosas were great.

01:45:41.000 And you know what? 1.00

01:45:42.000 I'm sorry, but little kids are dumb. 1.00

01:45:45.000 And if you are black in an all-white community, I'm sure there's going to be times when you feel ostracized or you are ostracized. 1.00

01:45:51.000 If you're white in an all-black community, you're going to go through the exact same thing. 0.94

01:45:56.000 If you're Chinese in an all-Lebanese community, it's going to be weird. 1.00

01:46:01.000 That's what not looking like everyone else is. 0.97

01:46:03.000 If you're fucking a foot taller than everyone else in school, there's going to be a weird sense of not belonging. 0.89

01:46:10.000 That's what the word unusual means. 0.98

01:46:13.000 It's not the norm.

01:46:15.000 Sorry.

01:46:16.000 Get over it.

01:46:17.000 You're living in a nice community.

01:46:19.000 You'll probably be dead if you grew up in the hood.

01:46:21.000 You know the kids that made me feel ostracized and outcasted or tried to? 0.99

01:46:26.000 They were all black in Bronx schools.

01:46:29.000 Well, you should be in this commercial. 0.52

01:46:30.000 It was like, Ting Tong.

01:46:32.000 And I was like, if I did an impression of you, I'd have to lay in a fire and get entirely burned.

01:46:37.000 Ryan.

01:46:37.000 Those are my eyes.

01:46:38.000 Ryan, no.

01:46:39.000 This is how you tell the story.

01:46:40.000 You go, when I was in the Bronx, I was the only kid who didn't have epicanthic folds in my eyes.

01:46:48.000 And the other black kids there, they'd say Ching Chong and make their eyes look chinky. 0.99

01:46:58.000 If only it was that. 0.93

01:47:01.000 It never hurt my feelings because I was always a little smarter than them, and you could just be funnier than them.

01:47:06.000 Yeah, you would just go, oh yeah, what's 3x plus y cubes fun about the z axis?

01:47:09.000 Yeah.

01:47:09.000 And they're like, you got to smile when you tell these stories.

01:47:15.000 And when I walked up on them, they stopped talking.

01:47:19.000 And so that was kind of weird for me, right?

01:47:22.000 So I wonder if you're not going to be able to do that.

01:47:23.000 Is this 10 years after the first incident?

01:47:26.000 You think there's no racism?

01:47:28.000 Well, try this on for size.

01:47:29.000 Every 10 years, as a black woman in the white community, I got like a weird look.

01:47:35.000 Yeah.

01:47:36.000 You think the KKK isn't everywhere?

01:47:39.000 Think again.

01:47:41.000 You want to know the... 0.92

01:47:42.000 I just remember this, the most racist moment, or not racist, the most shitty I've ever felt as a kid. 0.69

01:47:47.000 I remember this. 0.79

01:47:49.000 There were two Russian kids speaking Russian and then talking to me in English, and then I would answer and they would laugh and then speak in Russian.

01:47:56.000 That's the worst I ever felt as a kid.

01:47:59.000 Feeling excluded is a real thing. 0.99

01:48:02.000 The worst I ever felt was a bunch of these Nazi skinhead kids in my kindergarten class, they took a toothbrush and they put razor blades in where the bristles are and they force it into my anus. 0.96

01:48:16.000 And I had to be induced into a coma because I lost so much blood. 0.96

01:48:19.000 Am I laughing at something that happened?

01:48:22.000 That didn't happen, right?

01:48:24.000 Yeah, that happened.

01:48:25.000 We had tons of Nazi skinheads in my kindergarten class. 0.96

01:48:27.000 Little cute little Dr. Martins, cute little suspenders, little head shapes.

01:48:33.000 Listening to Kids Bob Crass.

01:48:36.000 What? 0.84

01:48:37.000 I don't know what a Nazi skinhead meant.

01:48:39.000 A screwdriver? 0.50

01:48:40.000 Yeah.

01:48:40.000 Kids Bob screwdriver.

01:48:41.000 The group, and I said, hey, you know, when I walked up, you all stopped talking.

01:48:46.000 That was kind of weird.

01:48:47.000 You know, why did you do that?

01:48:49.000 And she looked at me and she said, Rhonda, please don't be mad at me.

01:48:54.000 I'm having a birthday party later today, and my dad said that you can't come.

01:48:58.000 That's two parties she's not invited to. 0.99

01:49:02.000 Is it possible that this bitch was just annoying? 1.00

01:49:04.000 So they pretended their dad was racist. 1.00

01:49:09.000 When I started school, you know, I looked for him on the school bus and found him and hung out.

01:49:13.000 And apparently, I guess it went through whatever the small-town version of a gossip mill is.

01:49:21.000 And it came back as the new family that moved to town was hanging out with the Negroes. 1.00

01:49:27.000 Did they say it like almost? 0.95

01:49:29.000 Like the Negroes. 1.00

01:49:30.000 The new family that came to town was hanging out with the Negroes. 1.00

01:49:33.000 The new family that moved to town was hanging out with the Negroes. 1.00

01:49:36.000 The new gay family that moved to the town. 0.99

01:49:37.000 We're looking here.

01:49:39.000 So, by the way, I could make this commercial as a Trump supporter in a liberal suburb.

01:49:44.000 And it would be exactly the same.

01:49:46.000 Actually, it would be worse.

01:49:48.000 They vandalized my car and my house and ostracized my kids.

01:49:54.000 We had a computer repair shop that fixed my computer.

01:49:59.000 Word got out that they had fixed my computer, so they boycotted the store.

01:50:04.000 And the store went bankrupt.

01:50:07.000 Store was run by an immigrant from Portugal named Jason. 1.00

01:50:13.000 Sometimes people are assholes. 1.00

01:50:15.000 Grow up, get over it. 1.00

01:50:17.000 Back as a new family that moved to town was hanging out with the Negroes kind of thing. 0.99

01:50:23.000 And I was instructed, I was told by my mother that that wasn't the right friend for me to have.

01:50:29.000 Yeah, you already said that.

01:50:30.000 I understood more at seven than I did at five, right?

01:50:34.000 Or so I thought.

01:50:36.000 At that point, I was like, You guys should try wearing a MAGA hat in Manhattan or the Bronx or Harlem.

01:50:41.000 Give that a whirl if you want to see extreme bigotry and prejudice.

01:50:45.000 Nothing's wrong with me and my skin color because it's keeping me out of these spaces. 1.00

01:50:52.000 I don't remember the whole conversation we had or if we had an actual talk about I'm not supposed to.

01:50:57.000 I don't even remember it.

01:50:58.000 I remember sitting on the side of a.

01:51:01.000 You don't remember because it wasn't a consequential part of your life.

01:51:03.000 It was 1976.

01:51:06.000 Side of the, you know, large hill, small mountain where we lived and like, you know, breaking pieces of stick off and chucking them down in a ravine together.

01:51:16.000 And that's the last time we went out. 0.99

01:51:19.000 Dude, these fucking frozen stairs are so indicative of what all of this shit is about. 0.99

01:51:26.000 What have you done? 1.00

01:51:28.000 And you know why it works? 0.68

01:51:29.000 Because whites love their guilt. 0.99

01:51:32.000 They are brimming with euphoria when you tell them that they're horrible people. 0.99

01:51:39.000 I don't understand it.

01:51:40.000 No other race does this. 1.00

01:51:41.000 But when I see that stare, I just go, fuck you. 1.00

01:51:44.000 What are you looking at? 1.00

01:51:45.000 You okay?

01:51:45.000 You all right?

01:51:47.000 But especially suburban housewives, they see that and they're like, stop. 0.98

01:51:54.000 Just stop, okay?

01:51:57.000 I'm sorry.

01:51:59.000 I know this is not what you want, but I'm down in a ravine together, and that's the last time I went out.

01:52:07.000 Um, makes me feel like, first of all.

01:52:14.000 Oh my god, is he pretending to cry?

01:52:16.000 Jeez.

01:52:16.000 Now she is too.

01:52:18.000 I mean, I don't know which place to start at.

01:52:21.000 Isn't it healthy to tell your kid how to act like an adult?

01:52:24.000 She's blacking. 1.00

01:52:26.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:52:26.000 They're all overacting. 1.00

01:52:28.000 I think they're hoping this leads to some sort of a gig in theater.

01:52:37.000 You all watch too much TV.

01:52:39.000 Why is she acting like she's 40? 0.95

01:52:41.000 I know.

01:52:41.000 That seems so creepy.

01:52:43.000 She's in a Woody Allen movie all of a sudden.

01:52:46.000 I mean, if I met you through Infidelity, it makes sense I'd lose you through Infidelity.

01:52:54.000 I mean, I know which place to start at.

01:53:01.000 Fake tears, everything.

01:53:08.000 So I went home, and this time I'm visibly upset because I got it.

01:53:13.000 Like, I know what's happening, right?

01:53:15.000 And so my mom, she came up to me.

01:53:17.000 This is a second, she's still dwelling on the second of two birthday parties she was not invited to.

01:53:24.000 And this is a whole website. 0.98

01:53:27.000 This is a whole cultural movement to talk to your kids because this seemingly quite wealthy bitch wasn't invited to two parties when she was a kid. 1.00

01:53:36.000 I was just thinking about how opulent everything looks. 0.98

01:53:39.000 Life, like, you want to talk to a black woman in the south side of Chicago about how her day was today? 0.93

01:53:46.000 She's going to have a lot more horror stories than not being invited to two birthday parties. 0.99

01:53:51.000 Unfortunately, they won't involve white males, so who cares? 1.00

01:53:54.000 Fuck her. 1.00

01:53:56.000 And she's like, Rhonda, what's wrong? 1.00

01:53:57.000 And I was like, no, nothing.

01:53:58.000 I'm fine.

01:53:59.000 What does your dad do?

01:54:00.000 I'm your mama.

01:54:02.000 You better tell me what's wrong.

01:54:04.000 And so I told her the story.

01:54:06.000 But that time her answer was different.

01:54:09.000 Because the dad she spoke.

01:54:10.000 Did you hear that?

01:54:11.000 The first one she turned to the dad.

01:54:14.000 The second time was a few years later, and my joke just became true.

01:54:19.000 She didn't look to anyone.

01:54:22.000 Whoops.

01:54:23.000 With me about racism.

01:54:26.000 She spoke with me about slavery.

01:54:28.000 Where blacks were slaves, right? 0.95

01:54:31.000 They were owned.

01:54:33.000 You remember this war, right?

01:54:34.000 Yeah, but why didn't police came and put people in jail?

01:54:41.000 Why do you have a Russian accent?

01:54:44.000 Why aren't the police coming to take them back to Transylvania?

01:54:49.000 And put people in jail.

01:54:53.000 Because slavery was legal. 0.97

01:54:56.000 At that time, it was absolutely legal.

01:54:58.000 She also spoke with...

01:54:59.000 Wait, what did happen there?

01:55:00.000 So do you want to...

01:55:01.000 If you're Eastern European, let's get into Slavs and the Slavic slave trade. 1.00

01:55:05.000 Let's get into serfdom. 0.98

01:55:07.000 You want to talk about white slaves?

01:55:09.000 That's a great topic for you.

01:55:13.000 Wait, why don't they have an accent?

01:55:14.000 He does.

01:55:14.000 Our son is trans.

01:55:15.000 No, they're Sylvanian.

01:55:17.000 I think they do have an accent.

01:55:19.000 I didn't hear anybody.

01:55:20.000 You remember?

01:55:20.000 We're blacks.

01:55:21.000 We're slaves.

01:55:23.000 Right?

01:55:23.000 They were owned.

01:55:24.000 Sounds like Mike Portnoy.

01:55:25.000 Yeah, you're right.

01:55:27.000 You remember this war, right?

01:55:28.000 Yeah, but why didn't police came and why did you raise me in Siberia?

01:55:34.000 He must have been adopted like an hour ago. 0.98

01:55:37.000 Kids lose their accent fucking fast, too. 0.99

01:55:40.000 Put people in jail. 0.99

01:55:43.000 You know why they lose their accent fast? 0.99

01:55:45.000 Because they get teased and bullied.

01:55:47.000 And it works.

01:55:49.000 Slavery was legal at that point.

01:55:52.000 At that time, it was absolutely legal.

01:55:54.000 She also spoke with me about people hating black people because of the color of our skin.

01:56:01.000 Isn't that indicative his shock at slavery being legal is indicative of there not being his best behavior.

01:56:07.000 He's been in America since Thursday.

01:56:11.000 I want to do whatever you want me to do. 0.99

01:56:13.000 I just don't want to go back to fucking Leningrad. 0.99

01:56:16.000 Bow. 1.00

01:56:17.000 And then this bitch, she look, I have some bad news for you, Frazzlehead. 1.00

01:56:23.000 Nobody hates someone because of the color of their skin. 1.00

01:56:28.000 Nobody.

01:56:29.000 It's not a thing. 1.00

01:56:30.000 Yes, you can comb through history and find a few morons. 0.99

01:56:34.000 That doesn't mean it affects your life today. 1.00

01:56:36.000 Grow up and move on. 0.99

01:56:39.000 White people hating black people because of the color of our skin. 0.97

01:56:43.000 And so one of the things that in hindsight that I've come to realize is that I've been awakening since five. 0.94

01:56:49.000 I don't know if I could say like the first time, but I would say something that sticks out in my mind.

01:56:55.000 And I would say between 10 and 12.

01:56:59.000 And it was more overhearing a conversation, like at the dinner table.

01:57:03.000 These are all microaggressions.

01:57:05.000 Are they trying to show...

01:57:06.000 This video is supposed to tell you that racism is still prevalent and every story is inconsequential.

01:57:13.000 So they've actually proved the opposite of what they set out to prove. 0.99

01:57:18.000 When I was 10, I heard someone had possibly written the N-word on a bathroom stall, and that really stuck with me because I'm an idiot. 0.95

01:57:28.000 Older siblings, and they were dating. 0.99

01:57:29.000 It came to, you know, bringing a black boy home. 0.98

01:57:35.000 Whether one parent thought one thing and another parent thought another thing, but I remember that conversation at the dinner table of, you know, about bringing boys home and race came into it.

01:57:49.000 I would have to say that would be the first time a racial conversation came up.

01:57:54.000 You know, a lot of white people.

01:57:56.000 They were told not to bring black boys home.

01:57:59.000 I'm guessing if they lived next to the Kenyan embassy and the black kids at their school all wore three-piece suits and were on their way to Harvard, they wouldn't have a problem with that.

01:58:09.000 I'm also guessing that if they lived near a trailer park and the Hillbillies had three teeth and overalls with one of the straps undone, they'd also say, don't bring boys from the trailer park back.

01:58:21.000 I have a feeling that this has a little more to do with class than race.

01:58:26.000 And yes, everyone is classist, even blacks. 0.98

01:58:31.000 Don't know how to have that conversation. 0.91

01:58:33.000 They don't know how to talk with their children about race and racism and what's going on in this world.

01:58:39.000 And I will say part of it is because no one had that conversation with them.

01:58:44.000 But that doesn't mean it shouldn't happen.

01:58:46.000 I will say that.

01:58:47.000 You know what I would say?

01:58:48.000 This whole talk of conversation, we need to have a conversation.

01:58:51.000 It's never an honest debate with someone like me on one side.

01:58:54.000 It's always brainwashing.

01:58:56.000 I think the term conversation now means you need to brainwash people with our view of things.

01:59:01.000 You'll notice in this conversation, there's one side.

01:59:05.000 That's not really a conversation.

01:59:07.000 That's instruction.

01:59:11.000 For way too long in this country, racism has been seen as short hair.

01:59:18.000 It makes me question your husband's sexuality. 0.98

01:59:20.000 Black people's problems. 1.00

01:59:22.000 It's theirs to march against. 0.99

01:59:23.000 But it's not. 0.98

01:59:24.000 I mean, if anything, it's white people's problems because white people are doing most of the perpetrating. 0.98

01:59:30.000 And it's white people that need to learn how to do better and be different. 0.98

01:59:35.000 So do you...

01:59:35.000 Did we just hear a story about how the dad was trying to be friends with the black kid and it was just his dad, the one person who said, hey, no.

01:59:43.000 This is a white person's problem, really? 0.94

01:59:46.000 I've seen a lot of blacks behaving badly, actually, in this country. 1.00

01:59:49.000 Do you guys know what it means to have white privilege? 0.93

01:59:52.000 I mean, I would say I understand white privilege as basically that people have more of a fundamental...

02:00:04.000 Are we overlooking the fact that I think every white family here are Jewish?

02:00:09.000 What is going on?

02:00:11.000 Or Asian privilege?

02:00:13.000 How long is this, dude?

02:00:14.000 It's long.

02:00:15.000 We're at 7 minutes, 47 seconds out of 11 minutes.

02:00:18.000 Out of how many?

02:00:19.000 Like 8 minutes out of 11.

02:00:21.000 8 minutes out of 11.

02:00:22.000 Okay.

02:00:27.000 When you're not the target of the discrimination, then for one, it's not as visible to you, so it's not a part of your everyday life.

02:00:35.000 You would know.

02:00:36.000 Persecution is part of my everyday life.

02:00:38.000 I live in New York City, and I'm a well-known conservative. 1.00

02:00:40.000 I have to have my head on a swivel, bitch. 1.00

02:00:43.000 And that invisibility is a freedom. 1.00

02:00:47.000 For white parents, their children are not being targeted the way black children are being targeted the way black people are being targeted. 0.70

02:00:54.000 Yeah, you know, Asians have incredible invisibility in New York, especially old Asian ladies. 1.00

02:00:59.000 They can just walk around any part of New York and know they're not going to get hurled downstairs or just smashed in the face for no reason.

02:01:04.000 Hasidic Jews in Williamsburg get to experience all kinds of invisibility. 0.88

02:01:10.000 They know that black kids aren't going to appear to nowhere and play the knockout game. 0.99

02:01:13.000 Or just the other day, some Hasidic Jew was walking down the street. 0.98

02:01:16.000 A black kid came up and doused him with a fire extinguisher as he ran away, ran down the street, the Hasidic Jew did. 1.00

02:01:23.000 So this invisibility you're talking about doesn't exist. 0.87

02:01:29.000 And so if that's not your reality, then you don't have to care.

02:01:32.000 And that's a privilege, right?

02:01:34.000 That's the essence of white privilege.

02:01:35.000 I remember I was in middle school.

02:01:36.000 I think I was 60.

02:01:37.000 I was making a movie about your minuscule problems.

02:01:39.000 How's that for privilege?

02:01:41.000 You didn't get invited to two birthday parties and we've devoted, what, a million-dollar budget to it?

02:01:46.000 Yeah, there you go.

02:01:47.000 Look at this.

02:01:48.000 Is this Hasidic Jew invisible? 0.88

02:01:51.000 Well, he's not invisible anymore because he's covered with extinguisher fluid.

02:01:56.000 That's a good way to make ghosts visible, too.

02:01:59.000 There, now you're visible.

02:02:00.000 Or the predator?

02:02:01.000 Or the Mr. Invisible Man.

02:02:03.000 Remember that?

02:02:04.000 They get like flour on him and stuff.

02:02:06.000 I disappeared.

02:02:09.000 Look, why are you chasing him?

02:02:10.000 He's invisible, I heard. 1.00

02:02:13.000 Oh, man, that's fucked up. 1.00

02:02:16.000 Basically, 90% of racism comes from other races. 1.00

02:02:20.000 Do you think that's his fire extinguisher, or maybe he might have stolen that even?

02:02:24.000 I don't think he bought it at Fenway's hardware store.

02:02:29.000 Seventh grade, and my friend, we were at an aftercare program, and she was talking about Black Lives Matter.

02:02:35.000 And I was like, I agree with you.

02:02:36.000 I agree that this is horrible.

02:02:38.000 Like, I don't think black people should be oppressed.

02:02:39.000 But I kept saying, why is it not all lives matter?

02:02:41.000 Like, I'm confused.

02:02:43.000 My thinking was that, okay, Black Lives Matter is a great thing, and black lives do matter.

02:02:47.000 Imagine the rest of this video is her just spitting all. 1.00

02:02:49.000 She's like, and statistically, you're more likely to be killed by a black if you're black. 1.00

02:02:52.000 And blacks kill each other to the tune of 20 a day. 1.00

02:02:56.000 So that's when I realized that if black lives matter, then black people certainly don't care. 1.00

02:03:00.000 And when it comes to white deaths, it's usually fentanyl overdoses coming over the border due to like illegal immigration. 0.99

02:03:06.000 And then I realized that they're just sort of a racket with the DNC to steal money.

02:03:10.000 And that's exactly what happened.

02:03:11.000 They ended up stealing millions of dollars, and all they did was buy fancy homes with it.

02:03:14.000 It was a giant scam.

02:03:16.000 But why don't we say all lives matter so that everybody can stand up and fight everybody?

02:03:20.000 This is disturbing, too.

02:03:21.000 This is a woman talking about how she was trained to believe a thing. 0.63

02:03:26.000 Not to interrupt, but I think about even my supporting you on that aspect because I questioned it.

02:03:32.000 Like, why don't all lives matter?

02:03:34.000 Because I looked at it from...

02:03:36.000 And then we learned all lives don't matter.

02:03:38.000 Wow.

02:03:38.000 Especially white lives.

02:03:40.000 Or Asian old women lives. 0.99

02:03:41.000 This is like Stalinism, dude.

02:03:44.000 A violence perspective, not a race perspective.

02:03:48.000 And that's why I felt like all lives matter.

02:03:51.000 You know, I just did not get it back then.

02:03:52.000 And later on, when the Black Lives Movement rose again, that's when I was more educated.

02:03:58.000 And I had to go back and apologize and say, like, I realized what I had done wrong.

02:04:01.000 And I was thinking, like, I told her I was so ignorant to this.

02:04:04.000 Like, I can't believe I said this.

02:04:05.000 And I was embarrassed that I had said that because I never meant it from a bad place, but everything I was saying was racist and I didn't even know.

02:04:12.000 Children, whether you've taught them to be mean or not or making sense of the world around them, what's beautiful and what's not, who gets to be a certain role and who doesn't.

02:04:21.000 If we aren't the ones teaching them, then who or what is?

02:04:24.000 It's really hard to hear, well, this is a hard conversation.

02:04:27.000 I don't want to make my child sad.

02:04:29.000 You don't want to make your child sad and I don't want my child to die.

02:04:33.000 These are not equivalents.

02:04:34.000 Ah, you didn't get invited to two birthday parties.

02:04:37.000 Moral imperative that these conversations start.

02:04:40.000 And a couple of things that I would recommend is for one, ask your child questions.

02:04:46.000 Ask them what they know.

02:04:47.000 Ask them.

02:04:48.000 Okay, that's enough.

02:04:49.000 We know where she's going with this. 0.99

02:04:51.000 This video, which it is a sense privilege in and of itself, this bitch gets all of this money, this budget, to whine about two birthday parties, is meant to show you that racism is still a big deal. 1.00

02:05:02.000 By the way, this guy's got big, he just escaped from a Russian orphanage, and you're telling him about slaves 400 years ago. 0.94

02:05:09.000 This video is supposed to show us that racism is still a huge deal, and all it did was show me that your problems are minuscule and irrelevant.

02:05:17.000 Microaggressions are aptly named.

02:05:20.000 You didn't get invited to some birthday parties.

02:05:22.000 I'm really sorry to hear that. 0.95

02:05:23.000 Your 80-year-old dad in the South didn't like you hanging out with black kids. 0.83

02:05:27.000 I'm really sorry to hear that. 0.83

02:05:29.000 That's not a relevant problem.

02:05:31.000 Racism is not a relevant problem. 0.95

02:05:34.000 We've got bigger fish to fry than white people behaving badly. 1.00

02:06:10.000 Let's look at some black people behaving badly. 1.00

02:06:14.000 Because it'll be a fun little juxtaposition with those horrible white people who avoided two birthday parties and a friendship. 1.00

02:06:26.000 And here we go. 0.97

02:06:29.000 So we said that we had the teens attacking the Hasid, right? 0.99

02:06:32.000 Oh, there we go.

02:06:32.000 Sorry.

02:06:34.000 Blacks behaving badly. 1.00

02:06:35.000 You already showed 5'6? 0.99

02:06:38.000 Was that the Hasid? 1.00

02:06:39.000 I think so.

02:06:40.000 Then yes.

02:06:42.000 I mean, they attack Hasids on a regular basis. 1.00

02:06:44.000 This is something I say, too, about these black teenagers. 0.87

02:06:47.000 They're not attacking Asians because of the pandemic or what Trump said.

02:06:52.000 And they're not attacking Hasidic Jews because they're against the Torah and they think Jesus is the Son of God.

02:06:58.000 They are...

02:07:01.000 This is not racism.

02:07:03.000 It's prey-ism.

02:07:05.000 These groups are easy prey. 0.98

02:07:06.000 Hasidic Jews don't fight back. 1.00

02:07:08.000 Old Asian ladies don't fight back. 1.00

02:07:10.000 I wish they would or get themselves some sort of personal security detail. 0.99

02:07:15.000 But yeah, this is why black teeniers attack them because they can. 1.00

02:07:21.000 If they were Amish, it would be the same. 1.00

02:07:23.000 If they were cripples, it would be the same. 1.00

02:07:26.000 And now that there's no bail, there's a lot more victims.

02:07:29.000 There's a lot more prey.

02:07:30.000 For example, McDonald's is easy prey.

02:07:33.000 Here's some teens destroying a McDonald's.

02:07:39.000 I don't know where this is, but does it matter?

02:07:41.000 This is in America, but they're all the same. 0.98

02:07:45.000 This is probably Detroit, New York City, down the street.

02:07:51.000 So they're behind the counter now.

02:07:55.000 Imagine how privileged you'd have to be to lose your temper over food.

02:07:59.000 Like your fries being cold.

02:08:01.000 You know who gets mad when their fries aren't the perfect temperature?

02:08:04.000 Aristocrats. 0.97

02:08:06.000 The king, little Lord Fauntleroy.

02:08:10.000 Like billionaires.

02:08:12.000 Rock stars.

02:08:12.000 Remember you hear these stories about rock stars getting mad because they didn't have the right thing backstage?

02:08:17.000 Demanding someone go out and get them the perfect coffee?

02:08:20.000 This is like Lady Gaga. 1.00

02:08:21.000 Blacks are aristocrats. 1.00

02:08:25.000 Look at that. 0.98

02:08:30.000 You know what most of us do when our food isn't perfect? 1.00

02:08:32.000 Or there, we go, ah, shit. 1.00

02:08:36.000 Jump ahead to 5'9. 1.00

02:08:38.000 Here they are attacking a random McDonald's employee.

02:08:42.000 Also in America. 0.90

02:08:44.000 I'm guessing in a black neighborhood. 0.64

02:08:49.000 5'9 I'm asking for. 0.97

02:08:53.000 Oh yeah, this one's rough.

02:08:55.000 I think you should be trained in some sort of combat sport.

02:08:59.000 God, they get nude in fights fast, don't they? 0.52

02:09:01.000 Yeah.

02:09:02.000 I think it's because their clothes are just hanging on.

02:09:05.000 Oh, she's still got her sandals on. 0.96

02:09:06.000 They've got an ankle strap.

02:09:15.000 Hey, McDonald's employees, have your fellow employees' backs.

02:09:19.000 Isn't it like a crew?

02:09:20.000 It's literally called the crew.

02:09:25.000 If I was a fellow McDonald's employee and anyone went for one of my fellow fileto fish makers, it would be time to throw down.

02:09:34.000 But they're all ignoring it.

02:09:35.000 I don't like that.

02:09:40.000 Let's roll, you should have said.

02:09:46.000 You know what you need is pepper spray in these situations.

02:09:55.000 Now this is because of slavery, mostly.

02:10:00.000 This is a form of reparations.

02:10:01.000 You don't see this kind of stuff in Britain, for example, where they didn't have slaves.

02:10:06.000 If you go to 5-8, you can see how McDonald's in England function.

02:10:17.000 And it's a lot smoother.

02:10:21.000 Must have the wrong clip.

02:10:23.000 No, that's Nottingham.

02:10:24.000 That's Robin Hood's old turf.

02:10:30.000 I was just there, actually.

02:10:32.000 And I was in a bar and I go, how old is this bar?

02:10:34.000 And they go, 700 years old. 1.00

02:10:36.000 Holy fuck. 1.00

02:10:39.000 In America, 100 is insanely old. 1.00

02:10:44.000 Look at that.

02:10:46.000 Everything's free now.

02:10:48.000 The food is basically free at McDonald's anyway.

02:10:51.000 Yeah, it's like five cent $1.20 fries.

02:10:56.000 All kinds of specials.

02:10:57.000 And again, you're risking prison time for food.

02:11:00.000 That's privilege. 0.98

02:11:04.000 This isn't about someone fucking someone's girl or someone's family in danger. 0.98

02:11:08.000 No, they're being violent and risking jail time because they didn't like how their food was prepared. 0.98

02:11:13.000 How is that not privilege?

02:11:15.000 Go to 6'2.

02:11:17.000 We have a woman who called the cops because her Chinese food wasn't what it was meant to be. 1.00

02:11:23.000 And the amazing thing about this is the 9-1-1 operator goes, are you fucking kidding me? 0.78

02:11:27.000 And she's like, what am I supposed to do? 0.99

02:11:29.000 It's shitty Chinese food. 0.95

02:11:31.000 The Alliance charged 44-year-old Tracy McLeod after she told dispatchers yesterday her food from Maine Moon Chinese restaurant wasn't up to par. 0.98

02:11:40.000 We went to McLeod's address that was listed on the police report, but there was no one home.

02:11:44.000 So we headed to the Chinese restaurant to see what happened.

02:11:47.000 They say McCloud paid for her food with a credit card.

02:11:50.000 McCloud ate some of it, then decided she wanted her money back.

02:11:54.000 Now she insisted they give her cash back instead of putting it back on her card.

02:11:58.000 They said they couldn't.

02:11:59.000 McCloud's solution to the problem?

02:12:01.000 Call 911.

02:12:02.000 Alliance, police, and fire.

02:12:03.000 Where's your emergency?

02:12:05.000 At May Moon in College Plastic.

02:12:08.000 What's the problem?

02:12:09.000 Hold on a sec.

02:12:11.000 It sounds like she's up to a crime.

02:12:14.000 Right?

02:12:15.000 That either might not be her credit card.

02:12:17.000 Like, why do you demand cash from a credit card?

02:12:19.000 You should be happy if they just put it back on your card.

02:12:21.000 So she, talk about privilege. 1.00

02:12:23.000 She has the privilege of committing a crime and then calling the police because her crime didn't pan out.

02:12:29.000 Like money laundering, basically, or something.

02:12:31.000 Or if you don't want to get ATM fees, right?

02:12:34.000 But you need cash.

02:12:35.000 So you buy this.

02:12:36.000 It's not her credit card.

02:12:37.000 Get a couple of bites.

02:12:38.000 Right.

02:12:38.000 And then get cash.

02:12:41.000 I need food and it's not to par to me and I asked to get my money back and they acting like they don't understand me and took my food and won't get me my money back.

02:12:50.000 What's your name?

02:12:52.000 Tracy McLeod.

02:12:54.000 And this is why you called 911.

02:12:56.000 This is what I like.

02:12:58.000 What am I supposed to do?

02:12:59.000 Jump over the thing and beat them up and get my money back.

02:13:02.000 The caller tries to explain to the dispatcher that her call was transferred to the emergency number, which is true, but she still had to dial 911 to reach the room.

02:13:11.000 The dispatcher gets a call five minutes later. 0.99

02:13:12.000 Oh, this black lady beat the shit out of me. 1.00

02:13:16.000 Smashed me like I was a subscriber. 1.00

02:13:19.000 Dispatch center first, which is why she's being charged with a crime. 0.99

02:13:23.000 Now, the staff over at Main Moon called the entire situation a misunderstanding, and they say they have refunded the money to McLeod's card.

02:13:30.000 Unfortunately for her, she ended up with another charge.

02:13:34.000 What?

02:13:35.000 Because it wasn't her card.

02:13:38.000 Spoiler right here.

02:13:39.000 Here's a guy.

02:13:40.000 He calls the cops, again, privilege.

02:13:42.000 His fries are not cold, but they are not as warm as they could be.

02:13:47.000 Well, dude, tonight, it started with a disagreement over fries at a fast food restaurant.

02:13:51.000 You've heard that before, haven't you?

02:13:53.000 It turned into a police chase and a customer being tased.

02:13:56.000 Fox Denise Dillon tells us at the time the customer was out on bond on murder charges.

02:14:02.000 Minor detail.

02:14:04.000 Oh, yeah.

02:14:05.000 That's right.

02:14:05.000 He was out on bond for the murder of a woman in Fulton County.

02:14:08.000 Yet when he claimed his French fries were cold and got into an argument with you.

02:14:12.000 That's not true.

02:14:13.000 Stop.

02:14:14.000 He never said the fries were cold.

02:14:16.000 He said they were lukewarm.

02:14:19.000 This McDonald's, police say he didn't think twice about calling 911.

02:14:26.000 Try to fry the fries.

02:14:27.000 They're lukewarm, but they're not hot.

02:14:29.000 Kennesaw police say, and that's what started an argument between this man, Antoine Sims, and the owner of this McDonald's.

02:14:39.000 The officer spoke with the owner who said he was causing a scene.

02:14:42.000 He was cursing at him.

02:14:42.000 He threw a drink and he wanted him to leave and to be issued a criminal trespass warning.

02:14:46.000 Just stop.

02:14:47.000 Stop.

02:14:48.000 Is there anything more privileged than throwing a drink at someone because your fries are not warm enough?

02:14:56.000 You don't even hear about that in the modern age.

02:14:57.000 You hear about that with these fancy let-themeat cake aristocrats from the 1800s.

02:15:06.000 It says, hey, just don't come back to this McDonald's.

02:15:08.000 When officers put Sims' name into the computer, they learned he'd been in jail before.

02:15:14.000 Wanted person, caution, violence, aren't they dangerous?

02:15:18.000 Sims was charged in the murder of a woman in Johns Creek in 2018.

02:15:23.000 Her body was found inside a burning car.

02:15:26.000 He ran from police then and was later captured by U.S. Marshals in Wisconsin.

02:15:31.000 He was currently out on bond, but had a warrant out of Bond County for failure to appear.

02:15:38.000 When police tried to give Sims the warning, he took off running.

02:15:44.000 Being sandaled.

02:15:44.000 As soon as he runs away, the other officers.

02:15:46.000 Ain't this a dispute between two murderers in the first place?

02:15:49.000 McDonald's has cold heart cancer and heart failure all around the world.

02:15:54.000 They got heart attack going on, high blood pressure, cholesterol. 0.99

02:15:58.000 These are both murderers. 0.68

02:16:01.000 Okay, I guess that's an argument.

02:16:03.000 Officers begin to chase after him.

02:16:05.000 They caught up with him in an apartment complex.

02:16:08.000 An officer gives chase for a few seconds and tases him in the back where it hits his back and his leg.

02:16:14.000 And he immediately goes to the ground.

02:16:16.000 Taser deployed, taser deploy!

02:16:18.000 Put your hands out!

02:16:19.000 Put your hands out!

02:16:21.000 Sometimes tasers are complaining about his cold fries.

02:16:27.000 Cold fries.

02:16:30.000 I gotta send you this other taser incident.

02:16:35.000 Incidente del Tesor.

02:16:37.000 Is that done?

02:16:38.000 Yes.

02:16:38.000 If you go to 6-4, you can see this has gone viral.

02:16:46.000 How are you doing that?

02:16:47.000 I know how to do that.

02:16:49.000 Am I under rest?

02:16:50.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:16:52.000 You're a murderer on the run. 0.98

02:16:54.000 First, she says no a bunch of times. 0.98

02:16:56.000 No, no, no.

02:16:56.000 And then he's like, yeah, actually, you are.

02:16:58.000 I know how to do that.

02:17:00.000 I know how to put it.

02:17:00.000 Am I on arrest?

02:17:05.000 We've already shown that.

02:17:06.000 But this is sort of semi-off topic.

02:17:09.000 But this guy was going around the hood, beating up people with his cane, and he gets tased.

02:17:18.000 And this whole thing that they say to cops, like, stop shooting people just because they're coming at you with a knife. 0.92

02:17:23.000 Shoot the knife out of their hand. 0.99

02:17:25.000 Or they will say, shoot him in the leg or tase him. 1.00

02:17:29.000 That's the most popular one, of course. 0.99

02:17:30.000 You don't need guns.

02:17:31.000 Just have tasers.

02:17:33.000 And then that's because they've seen a clip like that where the guy got tased and just went.

02:17:37.000 Usually when you see women get it, they just sort of go, whoop. 1.00

02:17:41.000 But there's some big-ass motherfuckers who can't get tased and don't care about being no tase. 1.00

02:17:52.000 Drop the cane. 1.00

02:17:52.000 Ma'am, stand back. 1.00

02:17:54.000 Stand back.

02:17:56.000 That's okay.

02:17:56.000 He's about to get tased.

02:17:57.000 He doesn't drop the cane.

02:18:00.000 Just drop it.

02:18:02.000 Oh, that's my husband.

02:18:03.000 Oh, I'm sorry.

02:18:04.000 I didn't know you were married.

02:18:07.000 Drop it and tell us your side of the street.

02:18:09.000 We're giving him the single guy treatment. 0.97

02:18:11.000 Look, he looks like he's trying to pull a dagger out of it.

02:18:16.000 Drop the cane.

02:18:18.000 There you go.

02:18:18.000 Turn around.

02:18:20.000 I ain't turning around.

02:18:22.000 I bet you're bald under that hat.

02:18:25.000 Right now you're being detained.

02:18:26.000 You understand that?

02:18:27.000 Yes, you are.

02:18:29.000 Hey. 1.00

02:18:30.000 Shoot him now. 1.00

02:18:31.000 Just shoot him. 1.00

02:18:32.000 Stop wasting your time. 1.00

02:18:34.000 Don't do it.

02:18:34.000 Now you're under arrest.

02:18:36.000 Don't do it.

02:18:38.000 Whoa.

02:18:39.000 You were right.

02:18:40.000 I've already seen the video.

02:18:41.000 I was cheating.

02:18:43.000 What was that move?

02:18:44.000 Then he pulls a knife out. 1.00

02:18:47.000 Shoot him dead. 1.00

02:18:50.000 They do this a lot. 1.00

02:18:51.000 Shoot me. 1.00

02:18:53.000 You think bullets can hurt me? 1.00

02:18:54.000 Are you crazy? 0.93

02:18:55.000 You know how many comic books I read? 0.97

02:18:58.000 I'm Capt America.

02:18:59.000 I got red everything.

02:19:01.000 Okay, look at this.

02:19:02.000 That's a taser.

02:19:03.000 You just got tased.

02:19:04.000 Taser taser. 0.99

02:19:06.000 It's over, right?

02:19:08.000 And then they ramp it up.

02:19:09.000 Now they drone strike him.

02:19:12.000 They drone tased him.

02:19:15.000 Look, he's fine now.

02:19:16.000 And now he's got his sort of threshold of pain up.

02:19:18.000 His adrenaline spiked.

02:19:20.000 Like, I'm sure the first thing about being tased is the sheer shock, literally and figuratively, of being tased.

02:19:26.000 But now you've got that sort of in your physical vocabulary now.

02:19:30.000 Now I know it's coming.

02:19:31.000 I know how it feels.

02:19:32.000 And I just pulled him out.

02:19:46.000 What pursued me is running towards metal brook.

02:19:50.000 I just need to reach.

02:20:04.000 Okay, two.

02:20:04.000 I'm sure you put pursuit of him.

02:20:05.000 Lost sight of him.

02:20:06.000 Metal broken.

02:20:07.000 And okay, I've got him again.

02:20:08.000 He is almost on that metal brook now, so.

02:20:11.000 Metal broken, broken.

02:20:17.000 Look at the ta.

02:20:18.000 This is why I sent you this.

02:20:20.000 Tasers often do nothing.

02:20:24.000 God, what a bad time it is to be a cop. 0.99

02:20:28.000 Damned if you do and damned if you don't. 0.99

02:20:30.000 That should be the new motto of the police force. 0.99

02:20:33.000 We're damned if we do and damned if we don't.

02:20:38.000 And now we'll take this part.

02:20:40.000 Like when I saw that footage, I've even had cops come up to me and be like, whoa, you see that footage of those guys in Oklahoma?

02:20:46.000 I'm like, wait, you're on the other side?

02:20:48.000 I go, that was nothing.

02:20:50.000 He was threatening the person at the gas station.

02:20:53.000 He's a longtime perp, and then he punched one of the cops and resisted arrest.

02:20:58.000 You get tuned up. 0.99

02:20:59.000 Here's why you got to shoot somebody with a knife, too. 1.00

02:21:02.000 You got a nigga with a knife running away from you, right? 1.00

02:21:04.000 You ain't shoot his ass. 1.00

02:21:05.000 Who is this again? 1.00

02:21:05.000 Sorry? 1.00

02:21:06.000 This is a dude.

02:21:07.000 Okay.

02:21:08.000 I got to be qualified for. 1.00

02:21:10.000 You racist ass bastard. 1.00

02:21:12.000 Anyway. 1.00

02:21:13.000 I thought you might be famous.

02:21:14.000 A dude with...

02:21:14.000 Nah, I ain't famous.

02:21:15.000 I got a YouTube channel, but nobody got six subscribers. 0.99

02:21:18.000 Now, listen, a nigga with a knife run away from you. 1.00

02:21:21.000 You ain't shoot his ass. 1.00

02:21:22.000 He go into a home, try to break in there and hide. 1.00

02:21:24.000 I'm sorry.

02:21:25.000 I don't want to insult you, sir, but it seems racist to have you on this show.

02:21:29.000 Why?

02:21:30.000 I don't know.

02:21:31.000 It seems like blackface somehow. 0.98

02:21:33.000 Well, your daddy said you can't hang out with black men? 0.98

02:21:35.000 I don't want to talk about it. 0.99

02:21:38.000 But seriously, the guy's got a knife and you don't shoot him.

02:21:40.000 He goes, now there's civilians around. 0.94

02:21:43.000 He could stab other people. 1.00

02:21:45.000 Oh, he's got to be shot at some point. 1.00

02:21:46.000 Yeah. 0.81

02:21:47.000 And that's another thing people don't get about cops.

02:21:49.000 They go, they shot him in the back.

02:21:51.000 Yeah, he was running towards a crowd and he was armed and he'd been shooting people before.

02:21:56.000 There's plenty of instances where shooting a man in the back is justified. 0.97

02:22:01.000 Baby monster.

02:22:02.000 But I understand you're not all armed.

02:22:04.000 What is this now?

02:22:05.000 Baby monster that works on the show, official PD.

02:22:09.000 Remember live PD?

02:22:10.000 Yeah.

02:22:11.000 Well, it's back.

02:22:13.000 After the George Floyd cancellation for some reason.

02:22:16.000 And this guy gets tased.

02:22:18.000 Hang on, hang on.

02:22:19.000 Hey! 0.99

02:22:20.000 Hey! 0.99

02:22:21.000 Female cop. 0.97

02:22:22.000 Give me the channel.

02:22:22.000 Y'all stepping up.

02:22:24.000 Hey! 0.99

02:22:25.000 You heard it here first, folks.

02:22:27.000 All cops should be male and over six feet tall.

02:22:31.000 In car fight and tasing.

02:22:33.000 Get off of her now. 1.00

02:22:35.000 Get off.

02:22:36.000 Y'all get back.

02:22:37.000 Oh, he's beating the woman. 0.58

02:22:38.000 Get off her. 0.95

02:22:39.000 Get on the ground now.

02:22:41.000 Get on the ground.

02:22:42.000 Okay, we're going to end it with this.

02:22:44.000 You don't have training in combat sports.

02:22:46.000 You don't know how to fight.

02:22:47.000 You're a woman. 1.00

02:22:48.000 You're weak. 1.00

02:22:48.000 You're small. 1.00

02:22:49.000 I'm saying if these apply to you.

02:22:53.000 I don't think you should carry a taser.

02:22:54.000 I think you should carry pepper spray.

02:22:56.000 I think it is a very effective way to shut someone down and not get sued.

02:23:00.000 So, this mostly applies to ladies, but also people who like work at McDonald's and don't want to lose their job, or some manager of a restaurant that doesn't want to get sued. 1.00

02:23:09.000 I think you should have pepper spray.

02:23:11.000 I'd love to give you two reasons why.

02:23:15.000 First, let's do this guy 6-0.

02:23:18.000 I believe this is in Mount Vernon, just north of us here in the Bronx, where Larry Barnes lives.

02:23:25.000 Remember old Larry Barnes?

02:23:27.000 So, notice, I think this guy's Jamaican, but notice the distinct change of attitude after this guy gets it with the pepper spray.

02:23:36.000 Turn it up.

02:23:48.000 You know who I am?

02:23:54.000 Sounds like a dog. 0.99

02:24:15.000 Talk about black teams. 1.00

02:24:27.000 I mean, at the very least, ladies, this is a great opportunity to walk away and get the fuck out of there. 1.00

02:24:33.000 Think about it. 0.99

02:24:34.000 A weapon or a taser or something is it can be taken from you.

02:24:38.000 Pepper spray is not getting taken from you.

02:24:43.000 And it takes a good 10 minutes to be able to see again.

02:24:47.000 You seen this one?

02:24:48.000 Yeah, that's the next one.

02:24:50.000 Give me your phone.

02:24:52.000 Back up, man.

02:24:52.000 Why are you recording me, bro?

02:24:54.000 On Tread, back up.

02:24:55.000 You said what? 0.98

02:24:57.000 I'm from East C 190, nigga. 1.00

02:25:04.000 Like, his whole body morphs into a pussy. 1.00

02:25:07.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

02:25:07.000 He becomes a woman. 1.00

02:25:09.000 Not even a woman, a gay. 1.00

02:25:10.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:25:10.000 The other one screamed like a gay. 1.00

02:25:12.000 See that he walked into the RV? 1.00

02:25:13.000 Went from man to gay voice. 0.99

02:25:15.000 This guy goes from man to gay body. 0.99

02:25:17.000 Look the way he walks. 0.99

02:25:19.000 Look at his limp wrists.

02:25:20.000 It's weird, right?

02:25:22.000 Yeah. 0.95

02:25:22.000 Like, it's a gay juice. 0.95

02:25:24.000 Nigga made me gay! 1.00

02:25:28.000 It's gay spray. 1.00

02:25:29.000 Sit down, man. 1.00

02:25:30.000 Sit down, I'll call you. 1.00

02:25:30.000 I'll gay spray you. 1.00

02:25:32.000 You'll become a fag. 1.00

02:25:34.000 Who are you calling? 1.00

02:25:35.000 I want to see if my girlfriend curtains matched. 0.98

02:25:38.000 Come over here.

02:25:39.000 Follow my voice.

02:25:39.000 Bedoir.

02:25:40.000 Let's see if there's a sale on it, Penny.

02:25:43.000 Slow down.

02:25:44.000 Slow down.

02:25:44.000 Stop, stop, stop.

02:25:45.000 The curb is one step away.

02:25:47.000 They're way too nice to him, too. 1.00

02:25:48.000 He was about to kick your ass, dude. 1.00

02:25:51.000 Just laugh and get out of there. 1.00

02:25:52.000 If the races were reversed, they'd be head stomping right now. 0.95

02:25:54.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:25:55.000 Well, like they did to that white kid who shot them with the little gel gun. 0.67

02:26:00.000 Are you trying to get in your car?

02:26:01.000 They'd steal his car, first of all.

02:26:03.000 Look at him.

02:26:07.000 Now he wants somebody to hold his head.

02:26:08.000 Officially an effective response.

02:26:10.000 He pulls a Bob Kelly.

02:26:11.000 Hold my hand, dude.

02:26:12.000 Hold my hand, bro.

02:26:13.000 Please do my arm.

02:26:16.000 All right, sit down.

02:26:17.000 Sit down.

02:26:17.000 We'll help you.

02:26:18.000 Sit down, man.

02:26:19.000 Just sit down.

02:26:20.000 He's crying.

02:26:24.000 You lost your vision and you lost face.

02:26:27.000 All right.

02:26:27.000 This has been a crazy long episode.

02:26:29.000 Let's get to the mailbag and fucking wrap it up. 1.00

02:26:33.000 Ryan, shut up. 1.00

02:26:35.000 You don't have a dad. 1.00

02:26:38.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

02:26:43.000 Let me touch it.

02:26:46.000 Noodle doodles.

02:26:47.000 Yeah, that's right.

02:26:50.000 Is that all you got?

02:26:51.000 Let him touch it.

02:26:52.000 This was crazy, too. 1.00

02:26:53.000 Honorable mention, this black versus Mexicans fight for blacks behaving badly, punching old men, women, and kids. 1.00

02:27:00.000 Okay, in Vegas. 1.00

02:27:01.000 Really? 0.95

02:27:02.000 Another honorable mention, a rape happening. 1.00

02:27:05.000 It's a funny rape because it's an African refugee in Italy raping a Ukrainian refugee. 1.00

02:27:11.000 Interesting. 0.99

02:27:12.000 So they come here for a better life.

02:27:16.000 And of course, a we was kanged garoves. 0.92

02:27:24.000 Here's another fight in a restaurant.

02:27:29.000 Yeah, that's not really a bad thing.

02:27:41.000 Alright, let's go right to the purple flags.

02:27:45.000 This guy wants to give us his top 10 sketch comedy shows.

02:27:49.000 Mr. Show with Bob and David?

02:27:52.000 Agreed.

02:27:53.000 Kids in the Hall agreed.

02:27:54.000 Keen Peel agreed.

02:27:56.000 That Michelin Webb look.

02:27:58.000 Yeah.

02:28:00.000 Yeah.

02:28:00.000 Human Giant.

02:28:01.000 I fucking completely forgot Human Giant existed. 0.99

02:28:04.000 Portlandia, yes. 0.99

02:28:06.000 Chappelle Show, yes.

02:28:07.000 Kroll's show, I never really checked out.

02:28:08.000 That was all right.

02:28:09.000 Dana Carvey Show, that's before my time.

02:28:13.000 Mad TV.

02:28:14.000 Eh, Mad TV is too old to be on this list.

02:28:19.000 In Piancenza, Italy.

02:28:22.000 Oh, that's the rape you just showed. 1.00

02:28:27.000 Canada's Ministry of Transportation punishing truckers.

02:28:33.000 As a commenter said at the bottom of the article, I wonder if they're clearing the way for foreign truck drivers.

02:28:38.000 Yeah, this is just straight-up revenge.

02:28:42.000 The government was embarrassed by the trucker thing, and they are using all of their authority to punish these people for doing it.

02:28:52.000 Zoom out, Ryan?

02:28:53.000 That's just a pile of pictures. 0.99

02:28:54.000 We can't see shit. 0.98

02:28:59.000 The Ontario Ministry of Transportation has effectively shut down 39 trucking businesses in the wake of a crackdown on the so-called freedom. 0.99

02:29:06.000 The whole protest is over.

02:29:09.000 According to TruckerNews.com, the ministry confirmed that 12 suspension and seizure orders were issued to Ontario-based large truck operators involved in the protest, suspending their authority throughout Canada and issuing an order to seize all the plates registered to them.

02:29:25.000 Do modern women kill marriage life? 1.00

02:29:28.000 And here we have a happy Lady with a little chart she made for daddy. 1.00

02:29:35.000 Now, this is something.

02:29:36.000 If your wife does anything like this, just I wouldn't start a fight over it and I wouldn't rip it up, but it's pretty rude. 1.00

02:29:46.000 Oh, look, clean up, throw up. 0.99

02:29:48.000 One, two, three, four, five, six, BJ.

02:29:53.000 Actually, now I kind of like it.

02:29:57.000 This is an ancient Chinese script, okay?

02:30:03.000 But it is pretty funny.

02:30:05.000 Oh, yeah, I do remember this now.

02:30:06.000 Sorry. 0.93

02:30:07.000 Dude, that Jack Pesobic story I did yesterday about fucking OJ is three years old. 0.98

02:30:11.000 Oh, boy. 0.97

02:30:12.000 I apologize for that.

02:30:14.000 I guess I should have vetted that.

02:30:16.000 I assumed Jack would be talking about something relatively new, but I didn't check the date.

02:30:22.000 I know this isn't what you want, and I'm sorry.

02:30:25.000 Top gun plane info.

02:30:26.000 I was in the Air Force when I was in avionics on SR-71s and later switched to F-16s when they canceled the SR-71 program.

02:30:35.000 What I said about military guys, a lot of acronyms.

02:30:37.000 It's hard to get through it all.

02:30:39.000 The SR-71 was the fastest plane ever made that has been declassified.

02:30:43.000 Just for reference, the SR-71 could fly at Mach 3.

02:30:46.000 If you hit LA at full speed, you could get to New York in 15 minutes.

02:30:54.000 The plane would take half the U.S. to do a U-turn, and it would actually stretch two feet while flying.

02:31:02.000 It would cause the plane to leak fuel, and it had to be refueled in the air often to keep flying.

02:31:06.000 It's made in the 70s.

02:31:07.000 You can take a picture of a dime on the ground from 70,000 feet.

02:31:11.000 Yeah, so that's when I was walking Topcon.

02:31:12.000 I was like, can't you just get something to drop a bomb from really high?

02:31:17.000 There's no plane in existence that can fly Mach 10.

02:31:19.000 It becomes a math problem.

02:31:20.000 Essentially, it requires so much fuel, the plane would become a rocket ship.

02:31:24.000 After the Air Force, I worked at Lockheed Martin, blah, blah, blah.

02:31:30.000 To my knowledge, the plane is still classified to this day.

02:31:33.000 He worked on a Mach 6.

02:31:35.000 I will say that the underside of the aircraft was made of a graphene oxide polymer, a flexible screen material.

02:31:41.000 And it used cameras that would project images from the top of the plane on the bottom of the plane, which made the aircraft invisible.

02:31:48.000 It looked like the sky color pixels, blah, blah, blah.

02:31:51.000 But the plane would fly so fast it didn't need to be invisible.

02:31:55.000 But then he says, no, it was for takeoff and landing.

02:31:58.000 He goes, the technology, even from back then in the 90s, still blows my mind.

02:32:03.000 I can only imagine what they're up to today.

02:32:05.000 But I work in the private sector and make great money.

02:32:12.000 Gandalf and Bilbo Fagans.

02:32:15.000 This event happened in Oklahoma over an eviction notice.

02:32:18.000 Way to represent Oklahoma.

02:32:19.000 Is this the fight that we keep hearing about?

02:32:23.000 Oh, Oklahoma County Deputy Killed, another injured after suspect opened fires.

02:32:28.000 Opens fire in OKC neighborhood.

02:32:31.000 Jeez.

02:32:33.000 This sounds like a story that's worth the media covering.

02:32:36.000 A cop killed dealing with an eviction notice.

02:32:38.000 Did you change the color of the flag? 0.99

02:32:43.000 It's called Bullshit Part 2. 0.98

02:32:46.000 Gotcha. 0.98

02:32:48.000 Yes, it is.

02:32:54.000 Hello?

02:32:56.000 Yep.

02:32:57.000 I had to go to my orange flags.

02:32:59.000 Well, I hadn't changed it until you said, is it changed?

02:33:05.000 Yeah, that's right behind me.

02:33:07.000 You can see that the sheriff's office currently has one of their patrol vehicles here.

02:33:11.000 It's lights on as a tribute to their fallen brother, Sergeant Bobby Schwartz.

02:33:17.000 Here, they're encouraging people to stop by throughout the evening up until midnight to share messages that they have for Bobby or his family.

02:33:25.000 Any way that they want to mourn, they say they realize the entire community is mourning in their loss right now.

02:33:30.000 Getting back to the sergeant in this video that you are about to see from a...

02:33:34.000 Oh, wait, they're about to show it?

02:33:39.000 No, it's a guy talking about how great he was.

02:33:41.000 And I'm sure he was.

02:33:44.000 And again, no one's going to go near that story.

02:33:47.000 They never do.

02:33:50.000 Someone sent the Butt Boys a butter. 1.00

02:33:53.000 This guy is one of the most egregious butters I've ever seen.

02:33:56.000 The Butt Boys arch nemesis. 0.95

02:33:58.000 We have to find this guy.

02:33:59.000 This is our Hitler. 0.94

02:34:04.000 Look at this.

02:34:06.000 Pushes a woman out of the way. 0.77

02:34:09.000 These are just people being polite, by the way.

02:34:12.000 And he's farting, too.

02:34:13.000 And I'm very angry at other people for not getting involved.

02:34:17.000 Look, that guy with the shirt is the only one who almost stands up, but he doesn't stand up.

02:34:21.000 Push him out of the way.

02:34:24.000 Clark's shoes.

02:34:24.000 Did you ever find the name of those Clark's shoes?

02:34:26.000 Come on, buddy.

02:34:27.000 Go to Zappos.

02:34:28.000 Look up Clark's dress shoes.

02:34:29.000 You'll find them.

02:34:32.000 So many people asking us to do their homework.

02:34:34.000 Like, hey, you mentioned a book in an episode a while ago.

02:34:37.000 It was like purple.

02:34:38.000 What was that again?

02:34:39.000 Oh, I'll go digging through that for you.

02:34:42.000 I work here in the archives.

02:34:45.000 This looks kind of exciting.

02:34:47.000 NYPD forced to issue CCW permits.

02:34:50.000 Concealed carry.

02:34:52.000 So now we're going to all be able to carry guns in the Bronx. 1.00

02:34:55.000 I can have a fucking gun on my hip right now. 1.00

02:34:58.000 That would be great. 1.00

02:34:59.000 Appreciate your time.

02:35:00.000 Thank you for watching.

02:35:01.000 That would be nice if the guns here in our studio were legal.

02:35:05.000 Maybe I shouldn't be saying that.

02:35:06.000 Camera battery's dead and I forgot to charge it.

02:35:09.000 I wanted to give everybody a heads up that New York City has just put in emergency amendments or an emergency order to start issuing concealed carry permits.

02:35:20.000 How do we take that?

02:35:20.000 Why?

02:35:21.000 Well, because they were in violation of Bruin.

02:35:23.000 You're right about seatbelts, someone says. 0.99

02:35:27.000 All these pussies telling me I better start wearing a seatbelt. 1.00

02:35:29.000 Someone finally agrees with me. 0.98

02:35:31.000 In a classic 1975 study, economist Sam Peltzman argued that auto safety laws have had many adverse effects.

02:35:39.000 According to Petzman's evidence, these laws give rise not only to fewer deaths per accident, that's good, but also more accidents.

02:35:48.000 That's bad.

02:35:49.000 He concluded that the net result is little change in the number of driver deaths and an increase in the number of pedestrian deaths.

02:35:57.000 Told you, libtards. 1.00

02:36:00.000 All right, let's get to the final vid.

02:36:19.000 So, this is actually 2-4, Ryan.

02:36:22.000 Oh, I see.

02:36:24.000 It goes back to the boys in blue and the abuse they take.

02:36:28.000 I think cops recognize me on the street and watch this show because we're the only ones to show their side of the story.

02:36:36.000 You want to have a conversation about police brutality?

02:36:39.000 Okay.

02:36:39.000 Can our side be included in your conversation?

02:36:43.000 Can you include this?

02:36:44.000 This is another Oklahoma deputy, by the way.

02:36:47.000 This is a different story, right?

02:36:51.000 Wait, go back to the story itself.

02:36:58.000 No, I didn't touch it.

02:37:00.000 Okay.

02:37:00.000 Well, because the first story about that guy being that Oklahoma cop being shot was about an eviction notice.

02:37:05.000 But what does this write-up say?

02:37:07.000 See?

02:37:12.000 A woman slipping out of her handcuffs.

02:37:14.000 Yeah, this is a total.

02:37:14.000 Yeah, the other guy was a white dude with a big beard.

02:37:17.000 This woman gets arrested. 1.00

02:37:18.000 She's probably high on pills.

02:37:20.000 And she gets out of her cuffs and then manages to release the gun and then manages to load it. 0.99

02:37:29.000 And she shoots a guy in the chest.

02:37:30.000 I wonder if he lives. 0.99

02:37:33.000 There's fatty getting out of her cuffs. 1.00

02:37:36.000 That's the beauty of being a little bit chubby.

02:37:38.000 When you get cuffed, there's some play.

02:37:48.000 Don't worry, it's worth it.

02:37:50.000 I like that kind of bod.

02:37:54.000 Bit of meat on the bones, you know what I mean?

02:37:56.000 Bone meat.

02:37:56.000 Not too roly-poly.

02:37:58.000 So there, she's out of the cuffs.

02:38:00.000 Now she's somehow getting to the front.

02:38:03.000 I guess she's reaching through something.

02:38:04.000 Don't they always have plexiglass across the back?

02:38:07.000 Yeah.

02:38:09.000 She somehow reached through.

02:38:12.000 She somehow releases the gun from its little clips.

02:38:16.000 Oh, is she pulling it down by the side? 0.99

02:38:17.000 I don't know if that's a regular arrest people type of cruiser because usually the backseat doesn't have like a seat belt like that that they can access or any moving parts just like kind of a plastic bench thing. 0.98

02:38:32.000 Holy shit. 0.98

02:38:33.000 Until she's got the gun. 1.00

02:38:35.000 And then she starts loading her up.

02:38:39.000 Get one in the chamber there, babe.

02:38:44.000 And then...

02:38:45.000 Oh, she's so high on mess. 1.00

02:38:48.000 Then she starts going, I'm just gonna fucking shoot these fuckers. 1.00

02:38:52.000 Is there volume there? 1.00

02:38:58.000 Did she get her handcuffs off? 0.97

02:39:01.000 Because it seems like it's only on her left wrist. 0.98

02:39:06.000 I'm glad we're ending with some whites behaving badly. 1.00

02:39:10.000 Because that show is turning out pretty racist. 0.98

02:39:14.000 Look at this.

02:39:16.000 This is not random shots.

02:39:18.000 She's aiming.

02:39:23.000 And she hides behind the seat like that's gonna help her. 0.85

02:39:27.000 You're in an aluminum can when you're in a car.

02:39:30.000 The wheel well is the only place you're safe to hide.

02:39:38.000 Moral of the story.

02:39:40.000 Don't leave mess heads unattended.

02:39:44.000 What a cool gun.

02:39:46.000 She put the flashlight on.

02:39:48.000 He's enjoying all of the benefits of this gun.

02:39:52.000 But if you keep going in this video, it shows.

02:39:54.000 Yeah.

02:39:55.000 Now here's the other perspective from the body cams.

02:40:10.000 What was that?

02:40:11.000 Oh, Danny, I'm hit right here.

02:40:16.000 Yeah.

02:40:18.000 I'm hit right here too, Danny. 0.96

02:40:20.000 Hit in the head. 0.91

02:40:22.000 He's hitting the head. 0.97

02:40:23.000 15 counties.

02:40:23.000 We got shocked by here.

02:40:25.000 We need to back up immediately.

02:40:27.000 Start an EMS.

02:40:28.000 Start an EMS.

02:40:29.000 We got a civilian.

02:40:30.000 We got a civilian. 0.98

02:40:33.000 What the heck? 0.98

02:40:36.000 Get out of the cup. 0.98

02:40:37.000 No?

02:40:38.000 We need to know.

02:40:42.000 How do you know?

02:40:44.000 So he's a dead?

02:40:47.000 Stay in.

02:40:49.000 You see your daddy?

02:40:50.000 You got eyes on?

02:40:52.000 Huh?

02:40:53.000 Shots fired.

02:40:54.000 Get over here. 0.99

02:40:55.000 Get over here. 0.99

02:40:56.000 Your dad's hit, man.

02:41:03.000 He got hit.

02:41:07.000 Get in.

02:41:07.000 Spreading fast.

02:41:08.000 Are you okay?

02:41:11.000 When you pull in with her?

02:41:14.000 You would think they would.

02:41:15.000 I'll tell you what.

02:41:18.000 I'm going to see if that woman lives. 1.00

02:41:20.000 I mean, if the guy lives, I don't give a fuck what her. 1.00

02:41:22.000 Let's see. 0.98

02:41:23.000 I got the article here.

02:41:23.000 Oh, you do?

02:41:25.000 What does it say?

02:41:26.000 She says she's not human. 0.99

02:41:28.000 She's a predator's daughter. 0.99

02:41:30.000 Agreed. 1.00

02:41:32.000 Someone fucked a predator. 1.00

02:41:33.000 My dad's Captain Jowles. 1.00

02:41:38.000 You killed her. 0.98

02:41:39.000 Answer the phone. 1.00

02:41:39.000 You let her die. 1.00

02:41:40.000 I'm not human. 1.00

02:41:41.000 You killed her. 0.96

02:41:42.000 Oh, you're not joking. 0.83

02:41:42.000 She did say that. 0.83

02:41:44.000 Also talked about a child needing a blood transfusion.

02:41:46.000 Deputies were told that Clay was a fan.

02:41:47.000 Yeah, keep going.

02:41:48.000 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

02:41:49.000 I don't care about any of that.

02:41:52.000 They're expected to be okay.

02:41:54.000 Bystander and deputy are grazed by bullet fragments.

02:41:56.000 They're expected to be okay.

02:41:58.000 Okay, go up a tiny bit, though.

02:41:59.000 She surrendered 300.

02:42:00.000 No, that's down.

02:42:02.000 No, down.

02:42:04.000 Grazed by bullet fragments.

02:42:06.000 Okay.

02:42:08.000 So he was lucky.

02:42:09.000 It just went across his chest, not into his chest.

02:42:12.000 Just because of the way he was standing.

02:42:14.000 If he was standing perpendicular to where he was, he'd be deed.

02:42:17.000 Wait, what?

02:42:19.000 Oh, that's it.

02:42:20.000 That's news.

02:42:21.000 Okay.

02:42:22.000 Pelosi's husband.

02:42:23.000 That's the end of a long show, folks.

02:42:25.000 Don't worry.

02:42:26.000 Everyone is safe and accounted for. 1.00

02:42:27.000 But it seems that the ones screaming, keep it Real the loudest are the ones the most full of shit. 0.99

02:42:33.000 And the ones quietly minding their own business, trying to help society and help the rest of us, are the ones the most in danger. 1.00

02:42:41.000 So shout out to the boys in blue.

02:42:44.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

02:43:02.000 Open it up, hurry up.

02:43:05.000 I can make a break and hit the brake.

02:43:08.000 And they never got the fake rock.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - August 23, 2022

S4E158 - MY WIFE'S MOM GROUP MEET-UP WITH THE BABY PLAY DATE

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript