Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S4E163

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.

00:00:20.000 Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes

00:00:50.000 Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes That's an interesting jam.

00:01:15.000 So I didn't know this album exists, but it's all dub versions of Clash Songs, That's Bank Robber, which was already a heavily reggae, dubbed-out song.

00:01:27.000 It's a dub version of a dub song.

00:01:29.000 Why were punks doing dub?

00:01:31.000 because of a guy named Don Letts.

00:01:33.000 A little Jamaican man with long dreads who made...

00:01:41.000 You weren't allowed to listen to a lot of stuff, but you were allowed to listen to reggae.

00:01:46.000 So that's it.

00:01:46.000 That's online.

00:01:47.000 That's on YouTube.

00:01:48.000 Go back and show it, Ryan.

00:01:52.000 Dub is great background music.

00:01:57.000 Welcome to Get Off My Lawn.

00:02:00.000 We're just going to get started right away.

00:02:02.000 Let's just dive into the first segment, new segment we have on the show called Shit I Don't Care About.

00:02:11.000 Are you ready for some irrelevant news?

00:02:15.000 Here we go, folks.

00:02:16.000 Get psyched.

00:02:18.000 Shit I don't care about.

00:02:20.000 Shit I don't care about.

00:02:22.000 Shit I don't care about at all.

00:02:24.000 Which got a new TV.

00:02:25.000 55 inch.

00:02:26.000 Oh, I just got a care.

00:02:28.000 Zero inch.

00:02:34.000 Things I really don't care about are bullshit.

00:02:39.000 I'm the only one that can do bullshit.

00:02:41.000 This Chinese woman has a snake in her ear.

00:02:44.000 No, she doesn't.

00:02:45.000 She doesn't have a snake in her ear.

00:02:47.000 Snakes travel head first.

00:02:50.000 If you have a snake head poking out of your ear, you have a semi-robotic thing that's moving because you want to go viral because you're fake.

00:03:06.000 Why is he poking it like that?

00:03:08.000 Grab pliers and yank it out.

00:03:13.000 You know what I mean?

00:03:14.000 And where's the rest of the snake?

00:03:16.000 You don't know how ear holes work.

00:03:19.000 If that's the head, it's a fairly large baby snake.

00:03:24.000 So, no.

00:03:25.000 Not falling for it.

00:03:27.000 The green screen today is about this guy who does fake garbage to go viral.

00:03:32.000 That's not a good life.

00:03:35.000 You know what I mean?

00:03:38.000 Like, you're just wasting everyone's time.

00:03:41.000 I know what you're saying.

00:03:42.000 What about you getting arrested?

00:03:43.000 No.

00:03:44.000 I think what I did with that was made going away for a week interesting.

00:03:51.000 I also don't care if you have a cockroach in your ear.

00:03:54.000 1-3.

00:03:56.000 This guy was, I think he was swimming.

00:04:00.000 What's strange about this article is, so he felt this strange lump in his ear.

00:04:05.000 I think this was real, though.

00:04:06.000 He really did have a cockroach in his ear.

00:04:08.000 But what's strange about this story is the number of pictures they include of the guy.

00:04:13.000 I think the Ben Cost, whoever has a crush on him.

00:04:17.000 Maybe it's his boyfriend?

00:04:18.000 He looks very Benicio del Toro.

00:04:20.000 I don't need to see you, dude.

00:04:22.000 I need that first picture, and then we're good.

00:04:24.000 Unless you have a picture of it in your ear.

00:04:26.000 Okay, that we can do.

00:04:27.000 Well, you already showed me that.

00:04:29.000 Look, why is this here?

00:04:30.000 Why does it look Photoshopped?

00:04:32.000 And why does a grown man have a hat on the yamula part of his head and then 45 degrees backwards?

00:04:40.000 That's a really irritating way to wear a hat.

00:04:43.000 You know what that is?

00:04:44.000 And we're going to see this in the green screen.

00:04:46.000 Someone whose mom loves him too much and doesn't have a dad.

00:04:50.000 You know what that is?

00:04:51.000 That is a single mom look.

00:04:53.000 He's got pumps.

00:04:55.000 He buck pumps.

00:04:55.000 He bought pumps and he's 35.

00:04:59.000 That's what happens when there's no dad.

00:05:01.000 You take lots of pictures of yourself and you wear your hat like that.

00:05:05.000 Totally unacceptable.

00:05:06.000 You can fit five cockroaches in that nostril.

00:05:12.000 I also don't care if you have a crab in your ear.

00:05:16.000 And by the way, it's not really in your ear.

00:05:21.000 It didn't disappear into your ear.

00:05:24.000 It was in one of the folds.

00:05:26.000 Do we have any video there?

00:05:28.000 I don't think we do.

00:05:29.000 Wait, who's the author?

00:05:33.000 That's the same guy.

00:05:34.000 This guy loves ears?

00:05:36.000 He's an expert on shit in your ears.

00:05:39.000 Where's the other one?

00:05:40.000 Let's see.

00:05:42.000 What's your beat?

00:05:44.000 Shit in ears.

00:05:46.000 What do you mean, like, feces?

00:05:47.000 No, no, no, sorry.

00:05:48.000 Stuff.

00:05:49.000 Well, living creatures in ears.

00:05:52.000 Oh my god, it's Ben again.

00:05:54.000 And there's his viral code.

00:05:58.000 Ben Cost.

00:05:59.000 So, but go back to the crab in the ear.

00:06:01.000 It's not even in her ear.

00:06:03.000 It's on her ear.

00:06:05.000 And black people don't snorkel.

00:06:07.000 This story reeks from top to bottom.

00:06:11.000 Snorkeling in San Juan.

00:06:13.000 Let's see evidence of a crab in your ear, and let's see evidence of you snorkeling.

00:06:20.000 See, then they put the tweezers in after it's gone.

00:06:26.000 Fake ity.

00:06:26.000 Fake, fake, fake.

00:06:30.000 She's crying about it.

00:06:36.000 He just put a crab on her ear.

00:06:38.000 He might even be dead.

00:06:41.000 And then, of course, finally.

00:06:47.000 I don't care about sneezes.

00:06:50.000 Um, this dude had a USB cord in his pee-pee?

00:06:54.000 What?

00:06:55.000 Is this fake too?

00:06:56.000 You're better.

00:06:57.000 You're better at me at almost nothing, but one thing I think you're better at, probably because of your age, is figuring out what's fake.

00:07:09.000 This guy seems like a National Inquirer guy working for the post.

00:07:13.000 I don't know if this is real.

00:07:15.000 Like, why is all that shit in the x-ray?

00:07:18.000 And what went down your urethra?

00:07:20.000 That big cord part?

00:07:24.000 No.

00:07:25.000 So you go down a bit more?

00:07:30.000 That's totally different than what we just saw, right?

00:07:32.000 And if you go down even more...

00:07:37.000 So you could argue that he cut it and then put one of the cords down with the cut part, right?

00:07:47.000 But that would just be one string.

00:07:49.000 You wouldn't have the rest of the USB cord.

00:07:51.000 So not only is that fake, it's garbage.

00:07:53.000 It's really badly done.

00:07:55.000 Good work, New York Post.

00:07:58.000 These are his articles.

00:07:59.000 Woman claims she found maggots in her McDonald's burger.

00:08:02.000 Free protein.

00:08:04.000 Jimmy Kimmel accused of white privilege.

00:08:07.000 After Quinta Brunson, Emily, Emmy stunt falls flat.

00:08:13.000 Only thing.

00:08:14.000 Wait, let's see his fake skit.

00:08:19.000 He did a really good fake one.

00:08:20.000 Remember the woman who was doing a handstand and then she lit her house on fire?

00:08:25.000 and then she had burns that was all fake jimmy okay I don't get it.

00:08:46.000 It's white because he was trying to overshadow her.

00:08:53.000 Oh my God.

00:08:58.000 I see it as like cookery almost.

00:09:01.000 I think in that moment I was just really happy that it was Jimmy up there.

00:09:05.000 I kind of consider him one of the comedy godfathers.

00:09:09.000 I'm a huge fan of Will Arnett.

00:09:11.000 So I was wrapped up in the moment.

00:09:12.000 I don't know.

00:09:13.000 Tomorrow maybe I'll be mad at him.

00:09:14.000 Wait, I'm a huge fan of Will Arnett.

00:09:16.000 I'm not getting any of this.

00:09:17.000 What was his joke?

00:09:18.000 We'll see what happens.

00:09:21.000 Abbott elementary star.

00:09:23.000 Bitch, nobody would know who you are if it wasn't for Jimmy Kimmel lying on the ground.

00:09:27.000 That's the funny part.

00:09:28.000 You know, that's why the Mona Lisa is popular, right?

00:09:31.000 Some Italian guy wanted it back in Italy, so he stole it.

00:09:36.000 And then it was big news.

00:09:38.000 This is a long time ago.

00:09:39.000 1800s, 1811, I think.

00:09:47.000 Oh, so I guess Will Arnett is the one who dragged him off stage.

00:09:56.000 Okay.

00:09:57.000 That guy shouldn't be a reporter if that's what you report on.

00:10:01.000 It's just doing it for clicks.

00:10:05.000 What a sad lie.

00:10:05.000 He's definitely gay.

00:10:07.000 Ben Cost is gay.

00:10:08.000 Let me see.

00:10:09.000 I would bet $100,000 that he's gay.

00:10:15.000 And, you know, gays tend to have less morals because they've had to spend their entire youth.

00:10:26.000 He looks like a racist cartoon of a Jew.

00:10:30.000 Sometimes you can see they write for like out magazine or something.

00:10:34.000 Shanghai.

00:10:35.000 He's Chinese.

00:10:36.000 Oh, he Chinese.

00:10:38.000 Found Maggie inside a snake in the ear.

00:10:43.000 I met some people at the Shanghaiist when I was in Shanghai.

00:10:46.000 Zoom in.

00:10:48.000 I guess I'm wrong.

00:10:49.000 I almost lost.

00:10:50.000 I almost lost $100,000 there.

00:10:52.000 I don't see any gay magazines.

00:10:54.000 I got the beer and the woppa and the fries.

00:10:57.000 Okay.

00:11:01.000 Huh.

00:11:01.000 Wow, so he's just out of touch and just a weird dork.

00:11:05.000 That's sick.

00:11:07.000 So, yeah.

00:11:09.000 Sorry, to get back to the gays.

00:11:10.000 That you spend your whole childhood, your whole adolescence, pretending you're something you're not.

00:11:15.000 And then when you horse around with another 16-year-old fag, you manage to find one in your little town.

00:11:21.000 What you're doing is considered wrong and immoral.

00:11:25.000 It's not necessarily.

00:11:27.000 You become comfortable with being immoral.

00:11:30.000 And that's why my friend Seth was right.

00:11:32.000 Gays are more prone to lie.

00:11:34.000 I laughed at him when he said it, but I'm finally caught up.

00:11:38.000 You take a gay bit.

00:11:40.000 No, he said fag.

00:11:41.000 You take a fag baby.

00:11:43.000 I told you that story, right?

00:11:45.000 Yeah.

00:11:46.000 He physically had a fag baby in his hand.

00:11:48.000 I tend to repeat stories.

00:11:50.000 You may have noticed.

00:11:51.000 But what do the Rolling Stones do when they go on tour?

00:11:55.000 They play the hits.

00:11:56.000 Just think of this as a Rolling Stones concert.

00:11:58.000 Play a lot of the hits.

00:12:01.000 I've never talked about this dude before.

00:12:03.000 Now it's things I care about, so get rid of that.

00:12:10.000 Is it becoming the norm in politics to be retarded?

00:12:14.000 We have the biggest embarrassment in the universe as president.

00:12:19.000 If he was at my local bar, I would be embarrassed of my bar.

00:12:24.000 Like if I brought my cousin to visit and I walk in and Sleepy Joe's there, I'd be like, oh, fuck.

00:12:31.000 And then I'd say to my cousin, he's not usually here.

00:12:35.000 It's usually kind of a cool place to hang out, and there's a lot of funny old timers here, but this guy's...

00:12:41.000 We're not going to do a whole My Pet Biden.

00:12:43.000 Go to 1-8 to see who the President of the United States is.

00:12:48.000 A man who cannot speak English.

00:12:50.000 People who speak English as a second language speak English better than him.

00:12:56.000 1, 1,000 2, 1,003, 1,004, 1,005, 1,006.

00:13:01.000 Dude, we've got to figure out your computer.

00:13:04.000 That's on your to-do list today.

00:13:06.000 We have the most qualified workforce in the world.

00:13:08.000 Wait, go back to the beginning.

00:13:10.000 Every second of what he says is gold.

00:13:12.000 Turn it up.

00:13:14.000 We have the most qualified workforce in the world.

00:13:16.000 When I was speaking to the Japanese, excuse me, the South Koreans investing in chips factories here with $100 billion.

00:13:25.000 I asked, why are you investing in America?

00:13:28.000 We have the most qualified workforce.

00:13:29.000 What did he end with?

00:13:30.000 I asked, why are you Mexican-American?

00:13:34.000 Imagine having to do the subtitles for this one.

00:13:36.000 Koreans investing in chips factories here with $100 billion.

00:13:42.000 I asked, why are you investing in America?

00:13:44.000 Why are you messing with America?

00:13:46.000 I keep thinking at the end of that, there's going to be something that ties that all together.

00:13:51.000 But no, that's impossible.

00:13:54.000 Japanese South Koreans.

00:13:56.000 Yeah, same thing.

00:13:57.000 Are you Chinese or Japanese?

00:14:01.000 Okay, so my point is that being retarded is no longer a hindrance.

00:14:07.000 Especially to the Dems.

00:14:08.000 So we've got this guy, Fetterman.

00:14:10.000 My understanding is he lives at home with his mommy.

00:14:13.000 He's Harvard educated.

00:14:15.000 He's never had a job.

00:14:16.000 But his whole thing is I'm a working class Joe.

00:14:19.000 And wait, go to 1.7.

00:14:21.000 He's got this bizarre lump on the back of his neck.

00:14:24.000 So he hides it with a hoodie.

00:14:30.000 And you can't wear a hoodie in a suit.

00:14:32.000 So because he has to hide that lump on his neck, he always wears a hoodie and shorts and pretends that's his thing.

00:14:38.000 He's the blue-collar pro-union guy.

00:14:41.000 And I guess what he's banking on is unions are so powerful because they can tell everyone to vote for this guy that even though I'm retarded, we'll win.

00:14:51.000 It worked for JFK.

00:14:53.000 He got the unions on his side and he won.

00:14:56.000 So let's go pro-union.

00:14:57.000 Whoever teachers vote for tends to win.

00:15:00.000 You could argue unions, well, they say women got Obama elected, but maybe it was unions and teachers, too.

00:15:06.000 It's a good thing to bet on, even if you can't speak English.

00:15:09.000 And then when they make fun of the fact that you can't speak English, you say, at a stroke, you're making fun of the handicapped.

00:15:14.000 Okay.

00:15:15.000 I don't care why you're retarded.

00:15:17.000 You shouldn't be wielding any power over anyone.

00:15:21.000 You can't wield power over your own tongue.

00:15:23.000 So listen to this Biden protege do a speech.

00:15:27.000 One of you, you didn't have a doctor in your life making fun of it, making light of it, or telling you that you're not fit to be served.

00:15:41.000 Can you describe a stroke?

00:15:45.000 You know what?

00:15:46.000 You're not good enough to go to a restaurant and order food fit to be served.

00:15:56.000 So I use the example.

00:16:01.000 So pretend I was...

00:16:09.000 It's such the most important race for the Senate here for 22.

00:16:16.000 We have to replace Pat Toomey.

00:16:21.000 oh no senator to me was not very nice to me He had a chance.

00:16:40.000 He had a chance to match me up again.

00:16:45.000 Abortion is the ballot now in November.

00:16:53.000 What sentence was that?

00:16:55.000 Abortion is the ballot now in November.

00:17:00.000 Kamala Harris, Joe Biden, this, what's his name?

00:17:04.000 John Fetterman.

00:17:07.000 None of them can speak.

00:17:09.000 That should be the number one thing about a presidential or a senator or VP candidate is having the language at your disposal or this fucking bitch.

00:17:20.000 Well, she doesn't even talk.

00:17:22.000 She just goes, we don't have anything on that for you.

00:17:25.000 I don't have anything for you right now.

00:17:32.000 Isn't it amazing?

00:17:34.000 Isn't it romantic?

00:17:37.000 Should we do the War on Kids or should we do the green screen?

00:17:41.000 What do you think, Ryan?

00:17:43.000 I'm going to flip a coin.

00:17:44.000 Heads, green screen.

00:17:46.000 Uh-huh.

00:17:47.000 Tails, the other one.

00:17:48.000 This is like a choose your own adventure show.

00:17:51.000 Tails.

00:17:52.000 War on Kids.

00:17:53.000 War on Kids.

00:17:54.000 Okay.

00:17:54.000 Well, play the thing and I'll tell you when to stop it.

00:17:59.000 Hello, Flam!

00:18:00.000 I had a sex change upgrade.

00:18:02.000 Who wants to pound my bag?

00:18:04.000 We are living in an ageism.

00:18:05.000 Okay, now.

00:18:07.000 Yeah, you end with Biden.

00:18:11.000 Really great article by one of my favorite writers, Carol Moskowicz, Russian Jew bag, just moved from New York to Markowicz, just moved to Florida from New York.

00:18:25.000 And I think what's happening to Carol is she's seeing a bit of an IQ drop when she goes from New York to Florida.

00:18:32.000 She lived in Manhattan to Florida.

00:18:34.000 Sorry, Floridians.

00:18:36.000 And they're slightly less sophisticated.

00:18:40.000 And she's seeing all these people on screens.

00:18:43.000 Now, one thing I will say about Carol, she's talking about how we let kids look at screens too much.

00:18:48.000 Yeah, but I've seen restaurants where you go in and the entire family is on screens.

00:18:55.000 So the kids are on iPads, yes, but the parents are on their phones.

00:18:59.000 Boomers and Gen X are almost as bad with this phone addiction.

00:19:04.000 And here's a prime example.

00:19:07.000 Last night when I saw that article on my phone, I was downstairs at GazTav watching TV.

00:19:13.000 I am looking at my phone.

00:19:15.000 I texted my wife that and my kids.

00:19:17.000 They all saw it because my wife was sitting on the couch on her laptop watching her show.

00:19:22.000 Bloop, it appeared.

00:19:24.000 And then the kids were also on their phones.

00:19:27.000 One was on her computer, other was on his phone.

00:19:30.000 My youngest boy didn't see it.

00:19:31.000 He was playing VR.

00:19:33.000 So he's on a different type of screen that doesn't get messages.

00:19:35.000 So my whole family, including me, is addicted to screens.

00:19:39.000 And it's just, it's wrong.

00:19:42.000 And there's a great line in that article where she goes, kids should be bored.

00:19:46.000 Yeah, people should be bored.

00:19:48.000 That's how you get ideas.

00:19:50.000 Even at my bar, you look up and there's all these screens going.

00:19:54.000 There's like a car show and a commercial and CNN.

00:19:57.000 There's four giant TVs.

00:19:58.000 And your eyes just can't not look.

00:20:01.000 I was talking about it with my mechanic, Jose, who used to drink there.

00:20:04.000 And he goes, yeah, that's why I'd always sit around the corner.

00:20:06.000 So the screens are out of my purview.

00:20:08.000 But then he's staring at the fucking lotto, those gambling card screens.

00:20:15.000 White crack, they call it.

00:20:18.000 White people crack.

00:20:21.000 And the way you think, you forget how to think.

00:20:26.000 The way you come up with ideas is you sit there and ponder stuff.

00:20:31.000 People don't even ponder when they take a shit.

00:20:33.000 The first thing they do when they feel like they have to take a shit is run and make sure they have their phone.

00:20:38.000 They unplug it if it's charging.

00:20:40.000 This was at the circa.

00:20:43.000 Well, that's different, Ryan.

00:20:45.000 That's a terrible example.

00:20:48.000 These are people who are betting on gambling.

00:20:50.000 But it's the epitome of screens.

00:20:52.000 Shut up.

00:20:53.000 There's a lot of screens.

00:20:55.000 Yeah, there's a lot of screens at a casino where you're betting on screens.

00:20:58.000 More like a Cascrino.

00:21:01.000 And I was also thinking, do kids have time to be depressed?

00:21:07.000 How are you sad if you're never thinking?

00:21:12.000 You're a slave to the algorithm.

00:21:14.000 Anyway, blow it up a little bit.

00:21:18.000 Now your child can't function without a phone, and you're not sure what to do.

00:21:22.000 I saw this footage of a guy punching his teacher, and it was because she took his phone.

00:21:27.000 Click on can't function without a phone.

00:21:32.000 Oh, it's a study.

00:21:33.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:21:34.000 Obesity, inadequate sleep schedules, insufficient sleep, behavioral problems, delays in language and social skills development, violence, attention problems.

00:21:44.000 My son will be walking from his room to the shower with a towel around him, staring at his phone.

00:21:50.000 And you see people crossing the street with it.

00:21:53.000 But go back.

00:21:55.000 I think a lot of people don't even, no, to the previous article.

00:21:59.000 I think a lot of people don't even recognize that it's bad.

00:22:03.000 I had one cop tell me, look, they're here.

00:22:06.000 You're not going to stop them.

00:22:07.000 Just give in to it.

00:22:09.000 No.

00:22:11.000 That's like saying obesity is here.

00:22:12.000 Just let your kid become fat.

00:22:15.000 I've watched families arrive at a beach, lotion up their children, and then tuck them under umbrellas with their phones to spend the day.

00:22:21.000 Or arrive at restaurants and hand out iPads for the children with no expectation of any interaction through the meal.

00:22:27.000 A play date at a park with friends turns into two kids staring at iPads side by side.

00:22:32.000 You guys at home, you don't let your kids pull out their phones at the dinner table, do you?

00:22:38.000 If you do, you're bad.

00:22:43.000 True.

00:22:45.000 And a great sort of lesson for life is not everything has to be Lent.

00:22:50.000 Not everything has to be cold turkey.

00:22:52.000 Like with reading, you should read more.

00:22:55.000 That doesn't mean you have to sit down and devour an entire book for five hours.

00:23:00.000 Back when I was a vegetarian, I know this is a bad analogy, but I would say, you know, these vegetarian snobs, their attitude is, if you eat any meat, if you're not vegan, you're a piece of shit.

00:23:11.000 If you believe in this sort of vegetarian utopia, which I was dumb enough to fall for as a young man, you just want people to eat less meat.

00:23:19.000 You know?

00:23:21.000 If fossil fuels were really an issue, then anyone who uses less fossil fuels is doing good.

00:23:29.000 All my analogies are for liberals today.

00:23:32.000 So I'm not asking you to throw your phone in the garbage, but even if you can just take one shit without it, even if you can go to the bar and not pull it out, the second one guy goes to the bathroom, the other guy's like, he's got to catch up on all the screen time he was missing.

00:23:47.000 Sometimes Maddie will just pull out his phone, show me a picture, and then he'll stay stuck there.

00:23:52.000 And I'll say, I'm not going to sit here with someone who's on their phone.

00:23:57.000 Sometimes, I've noticed with young people, they'll be talking, hanging out at a bar or a restaurant, having a dinner, and then there'll be a lull in the conversation and one, two will pick it up, and then brp, everyone has a break.

00:24:10.000 And then they put it down and they start talking.

00:24:11.000 Or you'll have like two girls talking and three girls on their phone.

00:24:16.000 It's just weird.

00:24:17.000 Yeah.

00:24:20.000 And then you, Ryan.

00:24:22.000 Don't even.

00:24:22.000 I'm the best with this.

00:24:24.000 So go ahead.

00:24:25.000 Go ahead.

00:24:26.000 Literally go ahead.

00:24:28.000 Oh, literally go ahead.

00:24:29.000 Not metaphorically.

00:24:30.000 No, actually, literally.

00:24:31.000 Go ahead.

00:24:33.000 If you're not staring at your phone, you have your AirPods on and you're listening to something.

00:24:36.000 Well, I'm not staring at my phone, but yes, I do have my AirPods on.

00:24:39.000 During Vegas, the entire time I was not on my phone, I sat down with Anthony Coome before going on the plane, and we were sitting there talking for a while, and then he had to answer.

00:24:47.000 He was texting Norton or something.

00:24:49.000 And I pulled out my phone to be like, what do I got to do on here?

00:24:52.000 I have no Instagram, no nothing.

00:24:54.000 I put it back down.

00:24:54.000 I was like, I have nothing to do on my phone.

00:24:55.000 So now I'm just staring at the waitress while he's getting his shit done.

00:24:58.000 I'm not on my phone, ever.

00:25:00.000 I don't answer any text messages.

00:25:02.000 Yours only.

00:25:03.000 You're like the only person I text back.

00:25:04.000 My wife, I don't even text back.

00:25:07.000 I don't answer anybody in Telegram.

00:25:08.000 I tweet one thing and then put it down.

00:25:10.000 I don't go on my phone.

00:25:12.000 But you told me you hated the week off because you weren't able to post your pics.

00:25:19.000 Well, yeah, because that's all I do.

00:25:20.000 I'm like, oh, cool.

00:25:21.000 Here's let people know what I'm up to.

00:25:22.000 I like to document my life because I forget it.

00:25:25.000 I have a very bad memory.

00:25:26.000 But yeah, no, I listen to stuff all the time, but that's how I'm able to go to bed, but I used to be on video games all the time.

00:25:33.000 You were saying two things simultaneously that are the complete opposite.

00:25:36.000 I never use my phone.

00:25:38.000 I need it to fall asleep, and I love documenting my life because I have no memory.

00:25:42.000 I use my phone, but I never post things.

00:25:44.000 No, no, I never respond to people.

00:25:46.000 You know what I mean?

00:25:47.000 So basically, this is how my life works.

00:25:49.000 I'd be like, hey, I'm on the show.

00:25:50.000 Boom.

00:25:50.000 I'll pop it.

00:25:51.000 I'll put a little filter on it, and then put my phone down.

00:25:53.000 I don't look at the replies.

00:25:54.000 I don't look at the comments.

00:25:55.000 I'm just like, put it out there.

00:25:57.000 But you listen to podcasts.

00:25:59.000 Correct.

00:26:00.000 I grew up with an iPod.

00:26:01.000 I grew up with a Walkman.

00:26:02.000 I grew up with a tape player I borrowed from my mom.

00:26:05.000 I love audio.

00:26:06.000 I love listening to things.

00:26:07.000 Yes, that is correct.

00:26:08.000 But it doesn't prevent me from falling asleep.

00:26:10.000 The screens and the light from the screens is what keeps you up.

00:26:13.000 We have the TV off all day.

00:26:15.000 We don't allow it to be on while Daphne is awake.

00:26:17.000 So there's a very small blip of time.

00:26:19.000 We barely use it.

00:26:21.000 And I'm very happy with my screen usage.

00:26:23.000 So what does your screen time say when you get to...

00:26:26.000 I don't know if it counts YouTube when I'm listening to it in background.

00:26:31.000 That's why I have YouTube read.

00:26:32.000 I can close my phone and still listen to stuff.

00:26:34.000 That counts as screen time, though.

00:26:36.000 It's not a screen.

00:26:37.000 It's an audio.

00:26:38.000 Is it screen time if I'm listening to a tape recorder?

00:26:41.000 Yeah.

00:26:42.000 You're not thinking.

00:26:44.000 Someone else is doing your thinking for you.

00:26:45.000 Well, I do spend a lot of time without that, too, but I like...

00:26:50.000 Where you would be on a screen, I'm on an earbod, bod, bud.

00:26:53.000 What's an earbod?

00:26:54.000 Well, it's, Ben Cost wrote an article about it.

00:26:59.000 A bud got caught in my ear.

00:27:00.000 Hey, bud, what are you doing?

00:27:01.000 So what does your screen time say on your phone?

00:27:03.000 Let's see.

00:27:04.000 I bet you it's four and a half hours a day.

00:27:07.000 Well, what's yours?

00:27:07.000 That's less than yours, I'm sure.

00:27:10.000 Mine?

00:27:12.000 Yeah, I don't care about yours.

00:27:14.000 Mine is like three.

00:27:16.000 Okay.

00:27:18.000 But I have to comb through Twitter and everything for my job.

00:27:23.000 So 80% of me on my phone is me sending myself news articles that we're going through today.

00:27:29.000 Yeah, this is all YouTube.

00:27:30.000 So three hours and 50 minutes is all YouTube videos.

00:27:34.000 The man who doesn't use his phone four hours a day.

00:27:38.000 This is how I watched Mike Tyson documentary.

00:27:41.000 I just listened to it, and that's it.

00:27:43.000 So when he's talking about, and watch how he pivots, I'm like, I'm imagining him pivoting.

00:27:48.000 So I'm like not seeing the techniques.

00:27:50.000 Five hours, 52 minutes, and four hours of that is YouTube.

00:27:54.000 Five hours and 52 minutes?

00:27:57.000 Yes.

00:27:57.000 So you're on your phone six hours a day?

00:28:00.000 Literally don't see my.

00:28:01.000 That's a workday.

00:28:02.000 Literally don't see my phone.

00:28:04.000 I fall asleep to creepypastas that are like three hours long.

00:28:06.000 They're like compilations or art bell.

00:28:08.000 I listen to creepy stuff to fall asleep and then I'll like wake up and my earbud's still in there.

00:28:12.000 So that's a problem.

00:28:14.000 I recognize that, but it puts me to sleep.

00:28:15.000 Six hours a day.

00:28:16.000 The man who doesn't use his phone on his phone six hours a day.

00:28:21.000 You see who he's trying to do.

00:28:22.000 He's trying to spin the fact that I'm.

00:28:25.000 Wait.

00:28:26.000 The fact that I'm not looking at my phone into listening to audio.

00:28:31.000 Well, let the viewers decide, kids.

00:28:33.000 One episode of Rogan is five hours.

00:28:36.000 I don't listen to a full Rogan, but I'm just saying I listen to long-form audio, but I do not look at a phone.

00:28:42.000 All right, we're boring people.

00:28:43.000 2-0, teachers.

00:28:45.000 I remember a long time ago I was talking to a dude at Fox, and I was sending him ideas.

00:28:51.000 And he said, you know, and it was like a college, and the brainwashing they're doing in college.

00:28:56.000 And he said, you know what?

00:28:58.000 We're kind of getting away from college as far as relevance goes.

00:29:02.000 He said, it's already done as an institution.

00:29:06.000 It's irreparable.

00:29:07.000 That ship has sailed.

00:29:09.000 I'm more interested now in focusing on K through 12 because that's still salvageable.

00:29:15.000 And I think he's right.

00:29:16.000 And you'll notice Project Veritas has sort of followed suit by focusing on younger and younger students.

00:29:22.000 And it really is a brainwashing camp.

00:29:25.000 Now, why are they Marxists?

00:29:28.000 Ryan, quiz.

00:29:29.000 Why are teachers all radical Marxists?

00:29:33.000 Is it because they're tenured, the labor?

00:29:37.000 Is it like a pro-labor thing?

00:29:38.000 The proletariat?

00:29:40.000 Yeah, why are they pro-proletariat?

00:29:43.000 Because they went to college, and in college, they indoctrinate you to be a common Marxist.

00:29:49.000 Yeah.

00:29:50.000 Here's what's going on.

00:29:51.000 Teachers have the most powerful unions in the world, and they fund both right and left.

00:29:57.000 They're bigger donors to right and left than any other group, big pharma, any other group.

00:30:03.000 They dominate Capitol Hill.

00:30:06.000 So you pay the unions.

00:30:09.000 Teachers are essentially members of the gang.

00:30:13.000 And the gang is the unions.

00:30:15.000 And what do unions support?

00:30:16.000 They support things that enable them to exist more.

00:30:20.000 And what religion is that?

00:30:21.000 Not Christianity.

00:30:23.000 Not capitalism.

00:30:24.000 Capitalism, you can get fired.

00:30:25.000 Capitalism doesn't like paying money to someone else to tell you what to do.

00:30:28.000 Communism, Marxism.

00:30:30.000 Marx is pro-labor.

00:30:31.000 Marx is pro-union.

00:30:33.000 So the unions, just like any sort of computer virus, any kind of parasite, they want to support things that help them.

00:30:41.000 So the unions push Marxism.

00:30:42.000 And how do you push it?

00:30:43.000 Through the teachers.

00:30:44.000 So the teachers are totally indoctrinated by their gang members, their gang leaders.

00:30:49.000 And the gang leaders said, promote Marxism.

00:30:52.000 So they do.

00:30:54.000 So they don't even know why they're doing it.

00:30:57.000 They're just doing it because they're slaves to the cult that they pay for.

00:31:02.000 And the union gets them all kinds of great deals.

00:31:05.000 They don't have to be good at their job.

00:31:07.000 They cannot be fired.

00:31:08.000 They get to go home at 320.

00:31:10.000 They get four months off a year.

00:31:12.000 They get to whine about how underpaid they are.

00:31:14.000 Yeah, you're underpaid because you work about a third as much as the rest of Americans.

00:31:19.000 When we go per hour, you're making about $60 an hour.

00:31:23.000 You're overpaid, even though you make fucking $60,000 a year.

00:31:28.000 And when they stick around long enough, they're making more like $120,000 when they get up to vice principal status and all that shit.

00:31:35.000 And then what do they do when they become vice principal?

00:31:38.000 They just make, especially in New York, they just make up scores.

00:31:40.000 Everyone got an 8 plus and fuck each other and then get sent to a rubber room.

00:31:47.000 The New York Post had a whole article about these teachers who did heinous things like fucking students and stealing money.

00:31:54.000 This one principal, I have her on my phone.

00:31:57.000 This one principal set up the school for a robbery.

00:32:02.000 And they came in and stole all of these computers.

00:32:09.000 And she's still making like $150,000 a year.

00:32:14.000 Maybe it's even more than that, dude.

00:32:16.000 Maybe it's $260,000.

00:32:19.000 I sent it to Anthony Kumya.

00:32:26.000 So don't worry, it's coming up, folks.

00:32:29.000 Come on, Gabby.

00:32:32.000 All the teacher articles on the New York Post are pretty wild.

00:32:37.000 Accused of having sex with a 16-year-old in the classroom closet.

00:32:41.000 That's what she is.

00:32:45.000 Her name is Onitha Swinton.

00:32:48.000 So it's spelled like one O-N-E and then Atha, A-T-H-A, one word, one Atha Swinton.

00:32:56.000 They removed her as interim principal of Port Richmond High School in June 2018.

00:33:02.000 She pled guilty to car insurance fraud, and a probe found she improperly funneled $100,000 to a vendor friend.

00:33:10.000 So I guess her friend was...

00:33:20.000 I think her friend provided car insurance for various districts.

00:33:24.000 So she had the school pay him $100,000 for car insurance for cars that didn't exist.

00:33:31.000 And then she, quote unquote, failed to safeguard 600 DOE computers, Department of Education computers, laptops, and printers that vanished when she led John Jay School for Law.

00:33:42.000 Her salary, $187,000.

00:33:46.000 And every picture of her, she looks absolutely insane.

00:33:50.000 Now she has a new job.

00:33:52.000 So her punishment for all of that crime is they appointed her head of the Department of Education's Health and Safety.

00:34:01.000 She had her thug criminal friends rob $100,000, sorry, 600 computers, laptops, and printers, and they make her head of safety.

00:34:13.000 That's what Marxism is.

00:34:14.000 That's what Marxism is.

00:34:22.000 She's making $187,000 after being caught stealing many times.

00:34:32.000 What was that one you just skipped over?

00:34:35.000 I know what I'm doing.

00:34:40.000 Anyway, so let's get to the Project Veritas compilation of these teachers trying to make our kids become activists.

00:34:49.000 They are eating the poo-poo.

00:34:54.000 Not directly affecting them.

00:34:55.000 Yeah, if you're gonna throw a brick.

00:34:57.000 Yeah.

00:34:58.000 Throw it at the people that I can actually do in the movie that shows.

00:35:03.000 Teacher telling kids to throw bricks at people who need to learn how to change.

00:35:08.000 Me.

00:35:11.000 I think if you want to really show the world that big government is out of control and you're a true anarchist, I think you should break a window at an overpriced coffee place.

00:35:21.000 That really sends a message home.

00:35:23.000 How are they organized?

00:35:25.000 What's their purpose?

00:35:26.000 My kids, we don't stand up for the pain.

00:35:29.000 Holy shit.

00:35:30.000 Guys, nothing really changes until you guys are ready.

00:35:33.000 That's what my job is.

00:35:35.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:35:36.000 To prepare you to make sure that you don't mess up this world too much.

00:35:40.000 That's not your job.

00:35:43.000 Your job is math, science.

00:35:47.000 Reading, writing.

00:35:48.000 Our undercover journalist met up with middle school English teacher Ariane Franco.

00:35:52.000 Ms. Franco, who told us, beside teaching English language arts to more than 60 teenage students a day, she says she uses violent protests as a learning tool for brick throwing.

00:36:03.000 And protest.

00:36:06.000 How did you approach us?

00:36:07.000 Was that, I think, like a good two months?

00:36:09.000 You just said, like, how are they organized?

00:36:12.000 What's their purpose?

00:36:13.000 You know, like, the ones that work, A great argument for homeschooling, isn't it?

00:36:18.000 Oh, what's that?

00:36:20.000 You know that some boarding schools now are taking away kids' phones completely and giving them little flip phones?

00:36:29.000 They can just text.

00:36:32.000 Anyway, you can watch that on your own time.

00:36:35.000 Is anyone remotely surprised by this, by the way?

00:36:38.000 I fucking hate teachers.

00:36:41.000 I hate them.

00:36:45.000 And then if the teachers are not brainwashing you, the unmitigated violence, and you can't do anything about this, you can't defend yourself.

00:36:53.000 The school has to handle it.

00:36:54.000 Remember in New Rochelle High School?

00:36:57.000 A few years ago, there was this football coach, and he saved dozens of lives.

00:37:03.000 What do you mean he saved lives, Kevin?

00:37:05.000 Gangster, thug kids.

00:37:06.000 New Rochelle is a very shitty area.

00:37:08.000 It's just north of us here in the Bronx.

00:37:10.000 It's all black and some poor whites.

00:37:15.000 These kids get into crime.

00:37:16.000 Crime is just as bad up there as it is here in the Bronx.

00:37:19.000 They shoot each other, and they don't know better.

00:37:22.000 They don't have dads.

00:37:23.000 This guy was basically a surrogate father to the entire black community, and he would get them into football.

00:37:28.000 And he got them to like, I can't remember, but five or six state championships.

00:37:33.000 He put New Rochelle on the map.

00:37:35.000 Some of them even went on to the NFL.

00:37:37.000 The guy was incredible.

00:37:38.000 And he took crime away from these kids and replaced it with football.

00:37:43.000 He comes to the school once, and he sees his niece is drunk.

00:37:47.000 She's 12.

00:37:48.000 She's white.

00:37:49.000 And so he goes, what the fuck?

00:37:51.000 What's the matter with you?

00:37:52.000 I'm sorry, Uncle Football Coach.

00:37:55.000 Did this do anything?

00:37:58.000 So he calls his sister, the girl's mom.

00:38:00.000 He goes, what the fuck's going on with you, Sally?

00:38:02.000 Your daughter's here, my niece, drunk.

00:38:04.000 She's like, oh my God, I'm so, what the hell?

00:38:06.000 She comes to the school, grabs her daughter, takes her home, does shots with her.

00:38:11.000 They watch the game.

00:38:12.000 No.

00:38:14.000 He gets fired because he intervened.

00:38:18.000 That's the school's business.

00:38:20.000 He should have contacted.

00:38:21.000 You're looking at your own niece, right?

00:38:24.000 Blood.

00:38:24.000 This is family.

00:38:25.000 You look at your own niece and you go, oh, and you walk backwards away from her and go and get an administrator.

00:38:32.000 What the fuck?

00:38:32.000 So he quit.

00:38:35.000 They reprimanded him.

00:38:36.000 They said he was suspended or something.

00:38:37.000 He goes, nah, fuck you.

00:38:38.000 I quit.

00:38:39.000 And then the black kids get back to crime.

00:38:41.000 That's Marxism in a nutshell.

00:38:46.000 So, and they told my kids that when we lived in Brooklyn.

00:38:49.000 I told you that, right?

00:38:50.000 They said, if you see someone fighting, you have to get a teacher.

00:38:54.000 What if someone's beating up your sister, I say to my son.

00:38:57.000 He goes, they told us to go get a teacher.

00:38:59.000 And now.

00:39:01.000 Someone's beating up your sister.

00:39:02.000 You jump them.

00:39:04.000 Obviously.

00:39:07.000 So violence in school is getting totally unit uninhibited because it's bureaucracy.

00:39:17.000 And this is your son.

00:39:18.000 Here's your son at school.

00:39:19.000 Ready?

00:39:22.000 I hate how he's holding his neck.

00:39:26.000 Did he break his neck?

00:39:28.000 Look at this.

00:39:30.000 kicks him in his throat.

00:39:31.000 That part at the end there, he was...

00:39:41.000 He's not crying.

00:39:41.000 He's dry heaving.

00:39:43.000 There was some sort of compression on his throat, or maybe he got punched in the throat before he got his head.

00:39:48.000 The air knocked out of him, or would he get hit in the throat?

00:39:50.000 Feels like he can't breathe.

00:39:52.000 All right, let's lighten things up with a Dar Man.

00:39:57.000 Ah.

00:40:00.000 Yes, we shall, and we will.

00:40:02.000 Here we go.

00:40:11.000 Come on, everybody.

00:40:14.000 Dar Man is back, and I'm Blurry.

00:40:19.000 I am Blurry.

00:40:20.000 My name is Blurry.

00:40:22.000 Parents and I, son's dwarf fiancé.

00:40:25.000 Oh, you won't believe how this ends.

00:40:27.000 Now, how does it end?

00:40:28.000 The way these things usually go is like an old fairy tale, right?

00:40:31.000 You're a jerk for drinking water.

00:40:34.000 Water's gay.

00:40:34.000 Blah, blah, blah.

00:40:35.000 People drink water are losers.

00:40:36.000 And then at the end, he's in the desert and he's like, oh, I need water.

00:40:39.000 And they go, well, it's not so dumb now, is it?

00:40:41.000 You learned a lesson.

00:40:43.000 But how would you do that with this?

00:40:46.000 Like, they get hit by a car and they turn into midgets.

00:40:49.000 And they're like, shit, we need new clothes.

00:40:51.000 Can you help us?

00:40:52.000 No, you made fun of me when I was a midget.

00:40:54.000 And I still am.

00:40:57.000 So I'm not sure how this goes.

00:40:59.000 I'm told that I'm in it, so that's going to be exciting.

00:41:01.000 I've always loved looking at myself.

00:41:03.000 It's actually my job to look at myself.

00:41:06.000 So without further to-do, let's do it.

00:41:10.000 What is your problem?

00:41:12.000 You just expect me to stand here and watch our son date some midget?

00:41:17.000 You might as well be dating Dobby the house elf.

00:41:19.000 Throw a sock at her.

00:41:20.000 She'll be screaming, Tadya is free!

00:41:25.000 That wasn't terrible acting.

00:41:27.000 I think Dottie is free, or Dobby is free overdid.

00:41:31.000 But the delivery, usually the acting in this, you can just see the script in your head because they sort of shit the words out, you know, like, what are we going to do?

00:41:41.000 as opposed to, what are we going to do?

00:41:47.000 Rewind the whole thing.

00:41:49.000 Got a Tiramizu for me later?

00:41:53.000 So their code word for sex is Tarami Su.

00:41:57.000 Wait a minute.

00:41:58.000 They have an adult son.

00:41:59.000 You don't need code words for sex.

00:42:03.000 He looks old enough to move out.

00:42:05.000 You could just say, do you want to fuck?

00:42:08.000 I like this guy's vibe, though.

00:42:10.000 Tartan shirt, great mustache, cool beer.

00:42:15.000 But check this out.

00:42:17.000 They're freaking out the way you would if your daughter came downstairs with, like, heels on and a pearl necklace and a nice evening gown.

00:42:23.000 But he's just wearing...

00:42:25.000 Ha ha ha ha ha!

00:42:33.000 Calm down, mom and dad.

00:42:36.000 Oh, honey, look at you.

00:42:43.000 Look at him.

00:42:44.000 Who the fuck does that when they see their son wearing a shirt?

00:42:50.000 Where did you get that shirt?

00:42:52.000 And you have pants on and a mic pack.

00:42:56.000 You look fantastic.

00:42:58.000 Why are you wearing a lav?

00:43:00.000 We're in our kitchen.

00:43:01.000 You don't need to be mic'd up.

00:43:04.000 Holy shit.

00:43:05.000 You're so handsome.

00:43:07.000 Oh my God.

00:43:09.000 I didn't know you even had a shirt.

00:43:12.000 What's he usually wearing?

00:43:13.000 Panties?

00:43:15.000 He takes after his dad.

00:43:16.000 But you get your manners from your mother.

00:43:19.000 See what I mean about the shitting up the lines?

00:43:21.000 Because he takes after his dad.

00:43:23.000 But you get your manners from your mother.

00:43:28.000 The real problem with these isn't the actors.

00:43:30.000 It's the director.

00:43:31.000 The director has to go, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

00:43:33.000 What are you doing?

00:43:34.000 Just saying, you get your manners from your mother.

00:43:37.000 You don't have to go, and you get your manners from your mother.

00:43:40.000 He gets it from his dad.

00:43:42.000 Calm down, everyone.

00:43:46.000 So where is the young lady?

00:43:47.000 We're dying to meet her.

00:43:49.000 Yeah, you kept her from us for the past year.

00:43:51.000 I want to be the director here.

00:43:53.000 This is how you say that line.

00:43:54.000 So where is the young lady?

00:43:55.000 We're dying to meet her.

00:43:57.000 So where is the young lady?

00:43:58.000 We're dying to meet her.

00:44:02.000 Why did these two people choose acting?

00:44:05.000 I don't audition for the NBA.

00:44:08.000 Why did you choose this?

00:44:12.000 Yeah, you kept her from us for the past three months.

00:44:15.000 She must be special.

00:44:17.000 She is.

00:44:18.000 She's really special to me.

00:44:20.000 So you think she's the one, huh?

00:44:22.000 Well, I wouldn't.

00:44:23.000 Wait, is he going to fight her?

00:44:24.000 Fight him?

00:44:25.000 So you think she's the one, huh?

00:44:28.000 Well, I don't.

00:44:29.000 By the way, you guys don't know she's a midget yet, so you're not supposed to be mad yet.

00:44:34.000 You're supposed to go, so you think she's the one, huh?

00:44:37.000 Sounds great.

00:44:39.000 What do her parents do?

00:44:41.000 Well, it's just her mom.

00:44:42.000 Her dad died when she was really young.

00:44:44.000 But her dad and her mom is a doctor at Eisenhower Medical Center, and she's working on getting her master's so that she can be a doctor, too.

00:44:51.000 She loves helping people.

00:44:52.000 Wait a minute.

00:44:53.000 What's with this guy's fucking face?

00:44:55.000 Those caterpillar eyebrows?

00:44:59.000 He looks like a Mexican mask.

00:45:01.000 Wait a minute.

00:45:03.000 She's a doctor?

00:45:04.000 Like one of those smart people?

00:45:06.000 What the hell is she doing with a guy like you?

00:45:10.000 Yeah, I don't know.

00:45:12.000 I ask myself that question every day.

00:45:15.000 Whatever happens to your ex?

00:45:17.000 I can see these people rehearsing.

00:45:19.000 This guy, they're terrible.

00:45:20.000 They're like old dinner theater people in a small town that doesn't have dinner theater standards.

00:45:25.000 So I get them.

00:45:27.000 This is the kid's big break.

00:45:29.000 That's why he's doing the hair thing.

00:45:31.000 He practiced the living shit out of this last night.

00:45:34.000 She was really pretty.

00:45:36.000 Yeah, she was.

00:45:38.000 But looks aren't everything, mom.

00:45:40.000 You're telling me.

00:45:41.000 Wait, did she just say what happened to that other girl?

00:45:44.000 And then did that guy just insult his wife?

00:45:47.000 Wow.

00:45:49.000 Go back a little bit.

00:45:50.000 Sorry.

00:45:50.000 There's so much gold here.

00:45:52.000 I got to do these.

00:45:53.000 Okay, from now on, new rule.

00:45:55.000 New rule.

00:45:56.000 We have to get on a mailing list with Dar Man and make sure we see every time a new video comes out.

00:46:02.000 Because this is unmitigated gold.

00:46:06.000 Does he do these regularly?

00:46:07.000 Or is this even Dar Man?

00:46:10.000 It is?

00:46:13.000 Oh, this is the other guy, like, his protege.

00:46:19.000 Wait, there's a bunch with dwarves in them?

00:46:22.000 I guess they have the set.

00:46:23.000 They have the dwarf.

00:46:24.000 They might as well do like four.

00:46:28.000 By the way, for the record, yeah.

00:46:31.000 You would be disappointed if your son was dating a dwarf.

00:46:34.000 It's weird.

00:46:34.000 They're small.

00:46:35.000 It's not ideal.

00:46:37.000 You know, you'd be disappointed if your son was dating someone with a prosthetic leg.

00:46:40.000 You want like a fully functioning normal human that can breed and make normal babies.

00:46:45.000 Can midgets even breed?

00:46:47.000 I guess so.

00:46:47.000 That's how they make midgets, right?

00:46:49.000 And you're taking a midget off of the midget's, you know.

00:46:53.000 You're taking another midget's midget.

00:46:55.000 Here's why parents don't like midgets.

00:46:58.000 Because midgets don't like midgets.

00:46:59.000 If you could give a pill to a midget and he could be full-size, he's taking that pill.

00:47:04.000 They're not jazzed about midgets either.

00:47:07.000 They have kids who are midgets.

00:47:08.000 I guess they convince themselves that it's okay, but it's not an ideal situation.

00:47:14.000 Same with a really bad burn.

00:47:16.000 You know, if your son takes home a girl and half her face is burned off, or she has that weird burn face where it's like nostril, nostril, you know, expressionless eyes and like a hole, you're like, oh.

00:47:29.000 Thought you could have done a little better than that.

00:47:31.000 So why are they the bad guys?

00:47:34.000 She was really pretty.

00:47:37.000 Yeah, she was.

00:47:38.000 But looks aren't everything, mom.

00:47:41.000 You're telling me.

00:47:44.000 She hits him in the lav.

00:47:45.000 What is this, Scary Perry?

00:47:47.000 I'm joking.

00:47:48.000 I'm joining.

00:47:49.000 The audio, her lav, she either doesn't have a mic or it's not working because she's much quieter than him.

00:47:56.000 So she is being picked up on his mic, which we just heard is about there.

00:48:02.000 The audio is all over the place.

00:48:04.000 I'm riding up and down here.

00:48:05.000 Let me just play that last clip without touching the volume.

00:48:08.000 Okay.

00:48:10.000 You're telling me.

00:48:13.000 I'm joking.

00:48:14.000 I'm joking.

00:48:14.000 It's just the soda talking.

00:48:16.000 You're interrupting our son.

00:48:18.000 Well, to be very honest, Justine was just completely toxic.

00:48:23.000 And the new girlfriend?

00:48:24.000 What makes her so special?

00:48:29.000 It's just the little things.

00:48:30.000 I mean, she helps me in everything.

00:48:34.000 She's always there for me.

00:48:35.000 She supports me in everything I do.

00:48:38.000 Yeah, she's happy to get a tall guy.

00:48:40.000 You know, I heard that dude Wee-Man in Jackass?

00:48:44.000 He only dates tall girls, normal girls, because that's what he grew up, you know, looking at in magazines and stuff.

00:48:51.000 He's not attracted to midgets.

00:48:53.000 Why can't you say midget?

00:48:55.000 By the way, midget was a good word because midgets are the ones with the legs like that.

00:49:00.000 And then dwarves are just like me, shrunk down with normal proportions.

00:49:05.000 That helps.

00:49:06.000 Little people?

00:49:08.000 The fuck?

00:49:08.000 What is this?

00:49:10.000 Pidgin English?

00:49:11.000 They eat the poo-poo.

00:49:13.000 Little people go to the book place.

00:49:18.000 She's downstairs.

00:49:19.000 We'll bring her on up so we can meet the young gal.

00:49:22.000 Why is he so confrontational?

00:49:24.000 How about we'll bring her up so we can meet the gal?

00:49:27.000 We'll bring her on up so we can meet the gal.

00:49:32.000 We're gonna have a doctor in the family.

00:49:36.000 Do you think I can get my medication for free?

00:49:39.000 Hey, do you think she has an older sister?

00:49:41.000 No.

00:49:41.000 Sister?

00:49:42.000 She even say the word sister?

00:49:45.000 Here we go, folks.

00:49:46.000 The big reveal.

00:49:47.000 Hey, do you think she has an older sister?

00:49:50.000 It's sister, not sister.

00:49:53.000 And yeah, he's implying, does she have a chick for me?

00:49:56.000 And then she's like, no, stop it.

00:49:58.000 As if the kid shouldn't hear that?

00:50:00.000 You're the one who shouldn't be hearing that, idiot.

00:50:03.000 Vacation for free?

00:50:04.000 Hey, do you think she has an older sister?

00:50:07.000 Oh, we got to reshoot that.

00:50:08.000 You said sister weird.

00:50:12.000 Hey, little Midge.

00:50:14.000 Mom?

00:50:15.000 Dad?

00:50:16.000 I'd like to meet my girlfriend, Talia.

00:50:19.000 Talia.

00:50:21.000 Talia.

00:50:23.000 Not Talia, more like.

00:50:25.000 Smallia.

00:50:28.000 Oh!

00:50:29.000 Jesus Think the meanest thing that ever happened to her in her whole life was this filming of this thing I It's nice to meet you guys.

00:50:39.000 Dylan has told me so much about you guys.

00:50:41.000 She drunk?

00:50:43.000 Oh, my God.

00:50:45.000 You had me going for a sec.

00:50:46.000 For a moment there, I thought she was actually your girlfriend.

00:50:50.000 Oh, my God.

00:50:52.000 This is actually my girlfriend, Dad.

00:50:54.000 This is my girlfriend, Talia.

00:50:56.000 Was he adopted?

00:50:57.000 What's he with?

00:50:57.000 A Mexican face.

00:50:59.000 Excuse me.

00:51:01.000 Your dad is just creating a lot of things.

00:51:03.000 God, did you catch that?

00:51:04.000 He just made a joke about the little things.

00:51:07.000 Silly.

00:51:08.000 It's nice to meet you, Talia.

00:51:10.000 I miss this cannon.

00:51:11.000 Nice to meet you, too.

00:51:14.000 COVID can't be too safe.

00:51:17.000 Yeah, a lot of people don't touch midgets.

00:51:20.000 I think you're thinking of Africa, sir.

00:51:24.000 And says you're going to school to be a doctor.

00:51:26.000 Is that right?

00:51:26.000 Oh, he's exaggerating a little bit, but I get my doctor's degree.

00:51:31.000 That's a doctor's degree.

00:51:35.000 I'm getting my doctor's degree.

00:51:38.000 It's a degree in doctors.

00:51:40.000 You study doctors.

00:51:42.000 So I went to be a pediatrician.

00:51:44.000 Oh.

00:51:44.000 Work with someone your size.

00:51:46.000 You can see them eye to eye.

00:51:47.000 Dead.

00:51:49.000 No, I just love helping with kids.

00:51:51.000 I had a rough childhood growing up, but not only just with my own help, but psychologically, it was nice to have doctors there to help you get through things.

00:52:00.000 Well, I guess they helped you with her delivery, dude.

00:52:03.000 Maybe she is drunk.

00:52:04.000 I heard they party hard, these 40,000 midgets.

00:52:08.000 To have doctors there to help you get through things.

00:52:11.000 Well, I guess they help you growing up.

00:52:15.000 What?

00:52:16.000 Extremely disrespectful to my girlfriend right now.

00:52:18.000 Apolly.

00:52:19.000 Girlfriend?

00:52:23.000 You're being extremely disrespectful to my girlfriend right now.

00:52:26.000 Apologize.

00:52:28.000 Just saying what everyone else is thinking.

00:52:30.000 No, wrong.

00:52:32.000 Now, I have to admit, I was a little bit in shock because I wasn't expecting to see a small person speaking.

00:52:36.000 Why are there subtitles on these things?

00:52:39.000 I think it would be ableist to not include that.

00:52:42.000 You know, they're very sensitive to all minority groups or whatever.

00:52:46.000 But none of that matters.

00:52:47.000 The only thing that matters.

00:52:48.000 I'm watching a video that caters to deaf people about midgets.

00:52:52.000 And by the way, no one on earth makes midget jokes when they meet a midget.

00:52:57.000 Some assholes will make a midget jokes behind their back, but whenever you see a midget, you go, hey, hi, all right.

00:53:05.000 So you're my son's girlfriend.

00:53:07.000 Nice to meet you.

00:53:08.000 And then you, even if you're totally against this relationship, you go, mental note, I got to have a talk with him when she's not around.

00:53:15.000 Hers is that you make Dylan happy.

00:53:18.000 And Howard, you're being extremely ignorant right now.

00:53:22.000 Dev, can I talk to you in private?

00:53:24.000 No.

00:53:25.000 No.

00:53:27.000 He looks so handsome.

00:53:30.000 Why don't assholes look like me?

00:53:33.000 And why does he have a YouTube Platinum Award that the guy who makes the video got?

00:53:39.000 I guess this is his room?

00:53:42.000 And why did this guy get a platinum?

00:53:45.000 So millions and millions of people like these fucking things?

00:53:48.000 That boggles the mind.

00:53:50.000 That's really the strangest thing about this whole video is the idea of someone watching it going, that was pretty heavy.

00:53:56.000 Nailed it.

00:53:58.000 What matters is what's on the inside.

00:54:01.000 That makes me scared.

00:54:04.000 Let's tell me straight up.

00:54:06.000 Do you need money or something?

00:54:08.000 Because you can always come to me or your mom if you need money.

00:54:12.000 You don't need to date a girl for money.

00:54:16.000 Is that what you need to do?

00:54:16.000 So wait a minute.

00:54:20.000 When you see a guy with a midget, your first instinct is, well, that must be money.

00:54:26.000 She's a rich midge.

00:54:28.000 Even though she has a jean jacket on and a neck tattoo, she must be a gazillionaire.

00:54:34.000 Who thinks that?

00:54:35.000 Actually, that chick I was talking about last week, I used to work with, who told me most midgets are rich, but she was, well, she's very litigious.

00:54:43.000 I'm not going to say anything bad about her.

00:54:47.000 You think I'm dating her because she's a doctor?

00:54:50.000 News flash for you, dad.

00:54:52.000 I'm dating her because of who she is as a person.

00:54:55.000 I love Talia because of the way she makes me feel inside.

00:54:59.000 You mean blowjobs?

00:54:59.000 No, I don't know what happened to you in your childhood to where you have some kind of prejudice for her and her height, but I'm not going to stand for it.

00:55:07.000 Here's another thing.

00:55:08.000 Can I say something offensive?

00:55:10.000 When you see a guy with a midget, you kind of go, why are you attracted to that?

00:55:17.000 And there's kind of some pedophile vibes that sort of go through your head, no?

00:55:22.000 Like one time I was on the subway in New York, there was a dude who was like 6'2 ⁇ .

00:55:28.000 Look kind of like that, maybe.

00:55:30.000 Football looking dude.

00:55:31.000 His girlfriend was majorly short, like Ryan Rivera-sized.

00:55:36.000 And she had on a baseball tee, piggy tails, short shorts, like 70s short shorts with the white tubing.

00:55:47.000 And then knee-high athletic socks with the stripes and little Chuck Taylors.

00:55:53.000 So she was dressed like a little girl.

00:55:58.000 I'm not going to fault her for, well, maybe I am going to fault her for dressing like that.

00:56:03.000 But also, why is that guy into his girlfriend dressing up like a little kid?

00:56:07.000 It's sort of like that girl we were talking about with Anthony who is on that show where she had a problem with her pituitary gland and she stopped growing at eight.

00:56:14.000 And she wants a boyfriend, but no one wants her to have a boyfriend because the kind of guy that would be into her is fucked in the head.

00:56:22.000 So you know, you get that argument, and I know you feel the same way about me about guys that want to fuck her, right?

00:56:27.000 Doesn't that same logic pertain to midgets?

00:56:30.000 So shouldn't you be questioning someone who wants to fuck a midget?

00:56:34.000 Just throwing it out there.

00:56:36.000 Maybe you can help her stand.

00:56:38.000 I can barely see her in there.

00:56:40.000 I can barely see her.

00:56:42.000 Wait, midgets are so small now you can't see them?

00:56:45.000 They're not that small.

00:56:48.000 They're not a grain of sand.

00:56:50.000 They're like three or four feet tall.

00:56:55.000 Are they too small?

00:56:56.000 What about dogs?

00:56:57.000 Can you see dogs?

00:56:58.000 This dude needs to go to Lenscrafters.

00:57:03.000 You disgust me.

00:57:04.000 And mom was right.

00:57:05.000 Wait, what was that?

00:57:08.000 I get my manager from her?

00:57:11.000 He has a manager?

00:57:12.000 You disgust me.

00:57:14.000 And mom was right.

00:57:15.000 I did get my manager from her.

00:57:17.000 I did get my manager from her.

00:57:21.000 Well, your manager just got you a really shitty gig, so you should probably fire him.

00:57:25.000 But what did he do?

00:57:26.000 Sniff his daddy.

00:57:27.000 Give him the red captions.

00:57:30.000 Did he sniff his dad?

00:57:31.000 I guess maybe to be like, you're drunk, I smell alcohol.

00:57:36.000 He's holding a beer.

00:57:37.000 And if you're drunk on beer, what do you smell like beer?

00:57:40.000 You're pouring it all over your face?

00:57:43.000 But if you want to do the sniff thing, you go, you reek of alcohol.

00:57:47.000 You don't go, I hate you.

00:57:50.000 Go back.

00:57:51.000 Let me see him do the sniff test.

00:57:53.000 He's like an 80s bad guy.

00:57:56.000 You disgust me.

00:57:58.000 And mom was right.

00:57:59.000 I did get my manners from her.

00:58:02.000 Oh, my Platinum YouTube award.

00:58:07.000 Come on, let's go.

00:58:08.000 Mom, you need to talk.

00:58:10.000 Got enough water, guys?

00:58:13.000 And there's a fucking queen.

00:58:14.000 Flint, Michigan.

00:58:16.000 Talk to your husband.

00:58:17.000 Because as far as I'm concerned, by the way, buying tons of water is low IQ.

00:58:21.000 Oh, my God, dude.

00:58:22.000 There's the script.

00:58:26.000 Holy shit!

00:58:31.000 And that's definitely his place.

00:58:33.000 Single men have golden teas.

00:58:37.000 What are you doing?

00:58:38.000 trying to see if I could actually get there.

00:58:43.000 Oh, you want to see if you can read it?

00:58:45.000 That's hard.

00:58:45.000 No.

00:58:46.000 Enhance.

00:58:46.000 Computer, enhance.

00:58:49.000 Computer, enhance.

00:58:51.000 More.

00:58:52.000 Computer, make her tall.

00:58:54.000 Not my father anymore.

00:58:56.000 If you need to reach me, I'll be at Talius.

00:58:59.000 Oh, my dad got dumped.

00:59:05.000 What is your problem?

00:59:07.000 You just expect me to stand here and watch our son date some midget?

00:59:11.000 You might as well be dating Dobby the house elf.

00:59:14.000 We know how this goes.

00:59:15.000 Sock at her mother's mind.

00:59:15.000 We saw this in the previews.

00:59:17.000 Talia is free.

00:59:20.000 You are a disgusting human being right now.

00:59:23.000 I can't even believe I'm married to you.

00:59:26.000 You are sleeping on the side.

00:59:27.000 Have some more beer, you drunk.

00:59:30.000 And every other night until you can find how to have some respect for some people.

00:59:36.000 Huh.

00:59:37.000 Gee.

00:59:39.000 Well, he loves his little tips of beer, doesn't he?

00:59:42.000 Just something I said.

00:59:45.000 He's awfully remorseful for the behavior he just exhibited.

00:59:49.000 Yeah.

00:59:49.000 All the time.

00:59:50.000 Does he know he's disowned, by the way?

00:59:52.000 Because he was downstairs when the son said that.

00:59:55.000 So, as far as right now goes, he's sleeping on the couch.

00:59:58.000 I slept on the couch last night, I think.

01:00:00.000 But he's sleeping there for tonight and every other night until he learns.

01:00:04.000 Until he likes midgets.

01:00:06.000 Okay.

01:00:08.000 I used to hate midgets.

01:00:09.000 Then I slept uncomfortably.

01:00:11.000 Wait, is this how it ends?

01:00:12.000 No.

01:00:14.000 Where are they?

01:00:16.000 They're just in the hallway of the building?

01:00:18.000 We're out of here.

01:00:18.000 We're going to the hallway.

01:00:21.000 Yes, they are.

01:00:22.000 Is there an exit sign behind his head?

01:00:24.000 Probably.

01:00:26.000 Wait, where are they?

01:00:26.000 He said he's going to Talia's.

01:00:29.000 Hey, can we go to your house and sit on the floor?

01:00:31.000 Does she live under a bridge?

01:00:33.000 Like a troll?

01:00:35.000 Her furniture's too small for him.

01:00:37.000 She shouldn't listen to anything he says in there.

01:00:39.000 She doesn't give a shit.

01:00:40.000 She's wasted.

01:00:42.000 An asshole.

01:00:43.000 Ooh.

01:00:44.000 And an alcoholic.

01:00:44.000 They curse in here.

01:00:46.000 Huh.

01:00:47.000 And an alcoholic.

01:00:48.000 He's addicted to tiny sips of beer.

01:00:53.000 He's just a loser.

01:00:53.000 Don't listen to anything he has to say.

01:00:55.000 No, it's okay.

01:00:57.000 That's okay.

01:00:58.000 Does this do anything?

01:01:00.000 I haven't heard somebody.

01:01:01.000 Nobody talked to me like that in a long time.

01:01:03.000 But I'm a tough girl.

01:01:04.000 I could take it.

01:01:06.000 Yeah, but it's not even that.

01:01:07.000 She's so fucking percocette.

01:01:09.000 Is she so high that she's Latina?

01:01:11.000 That she was super nervous because she's never done this before, and it's confronting her own dwarfism, which is obviously an intense subject for her.

01:01:19.000 So she took a percocet, and her body's not used to them.

01:01:23.000 So she's fucking perked out right now.

01:01:25.000 I mean, like that in a long time.

01:01:26.000 She's unperkoved out.

01:01:28.000 Oh, it's okay, man.

01:01:30.000 I got nothing.

01:01:31.000 Ain't nothing wrong with the world, my neg.

01:01:34.000 She's so high, she's Puerto Rican.

01:01:36.000 I've heard somebody talk to me like that in a long time.

01:01:38.000 But I'm a tough girl.

01:01:40.000 I could take it.

01:01:41.000 But it's not even that.

01:01:42.000 It's just...

01:01:47.000 And sometimes I just want to punch him in the mouth for what comes out of it.

01:01:52.000 This guy is not punch him in the mouth for what comes out of it.

01:01:57.000 I want to punch him in the mouth for what comes out of it.

01:02:02.000 Is he going to kill her?

01:02:03.000 Yeah, he looks like a killer.

01:02:05.000 Well, violence doesn't solve anything.

01:02:08.000 And he is being a violent.

01:02:10.000 So let's stop.

01:02:11.000 If you're a violent out there, we want you to know that you don't solve anything.

01:02:16.000 Fuck you, violent.

01:02:17.000 Violence doesn't solve anything.

01:02:18.000 But if it did, I'll help.

01:02:21.000 But if it did.

01:02:22.000 You would help me punch my dad in the face with your little mitts.

01:02:26.000 That's the nicest thing a woman has ever said to me.

01:02:32.000 You know, I wanted to do this in front of my parents, but I can't wait any longer.

01:02:36.000 Will you marry me?

01:02:38.000 For this.

01:02:40.000 And he just starts fucking her face.

01:02:47.000 Talia, this is called a diamond.

01:02:51.000 You make me that.

01:02:52.000 I want you to go find more of these deep, deep underground.

01:02:56.000 I want you to burrow.

01:02:57.000 Do you know how to burrow?

01:03:00.000 I married a mole woman for a reason.

01:03:04.000 Yeah.

01:03:05.000 Whatever.

01:03:05.000 I don't give a shit.

01:03:09.000 So she didn't get out for that?

01:03:12.000 Ah, you're pretty cool.

01:03:16.000 Nice hug.

01:03:19.000 Okay, now what?

01:03:21.000 Mom.

01:03:22.000 Mom, so he's dressed.

01:03:24.000 Oh, okay, there.

01:03:26.000 They better be calling the apologizer.

01:03:28.000 I don't want to hear it.

01:03:32.000 Hey, mom.

01:03:33.000 Oh, my God.

01:03:34.000 He's choking and he's coughing.

01:03:37.000 Oh, the doctor saves him.

01:03:39.000 Oh.

01:03:40.000 He's dying of beer sips.

01:03:42.000 Slow down.

01:03:43.000 What do you mean?

01:03:43.000 I should have guessed that.

01:03:44.000 Fuck.

01:03:47.000 This video taught me a lot about myself and how I'm a bad guesser.

01:03:51.000 Mrs. Cannon.

01:03:52.000 Give him some of that water you guys are stockpiling.

01:03:54.000 Yeah.

01:03:54.000 It's important that you do not let him fall asleep on his back.

01:03:57.000 Make sure he sits upright.

01:03:59.000 If he passes out, lay him on his side.

01:04:02.000 This is super important.

01:04:03.000 You do not want him choking on his stomach.

01:04:06.000 You do not want him choking on his stomach.

01:04:12.000 Wow.

01:04:12.000 You know you're an alcoholic when your stomach gets lodged in your throat.

01:04:17.000 Wow.

01:04:18.000 And for real, though, don't you want to be on your stomach?

01:04:21.000 Call 911.

01:04:24.000 Call 911.

01:04:25.000 We are on our way.

01:04:30.000 She fucked up that line, so they had to make her come back in.

01:04:33.000 Call 911.

01:04:34.000 We are on our way.

01:04:36.000 She kind of sounded like, what's his name?

01:04:38.000 Timothy Hedberg?

01:04:40.000 Mitch Hedberg.

01:04:41.000 Call 911.

01:04:43.000 We are on our way.

01:04:47.000 The next morning, he's hungry.

01:04:48.000 I can't thank you enough for the advice you gave.

01:04:51.000 You saved my husband's life.

01:04:54.000 No problem.

01:04:55.000 I just want to make sure Mr. Cannon's okay.

01:04:57.000 Well, aside from dehydrating my brain and losing a few more brain cells.

01:05:06.000 Look, Talia, I need to apologize to you for last year.

01:05:09.000 You're not short anymore because you saved my life.

01:05:13.000 I could blame the alcohol, but I need to take responsibility for myself.

01:05:19.000 Dude, you cannot get that wasted on beer.

01:05:24.000 There's too much water in it.

01:05:26.000 You pee your pants, maybe.

01:05:28.000 I was rude, intolerant, and prejudiced against you.

01:05:36.000 And really, I was just projecting my own insecurities on you.

01:05:42.000 What?

01:05:44.000 You saved my life.

01:05:46.000 And for that, I am eternally grateful.

01:05:49.000 And you.

01:05:51.000 Like, why?

01:05:54.000 If we're believing that these people exist, why is there a calendar of this gay dude who makes it?

01:05:59.000 And look, he's got a framed letter from YouTube.

01:06:02.000 Yeah.

01:06:03.000 Oh, so this is the guy's apartment.

01:06:05.000 And he decorates his apartment with letters from YouTube.

01:06:09.000 And why does he have the same picture of him naked with a dog twice?

01:06:12.000 There's one there, and then there's one on the calendar.

01:06:15.000 Oh my god, this fucking megalomaniac, he made a calendar of himself.

01:06:20.000 To catch a cheater.

01:06:22.000 So he also did that?

01:06:24.000 Oh, I guess, yeah.

01:06:26.000 He used to produce and direct To Catch a Cheater.

01:06:30.000 Dude, I know people that worked on that show.

01:06:32.000 Alex.

01:06:34.000 What?

01:06:34.000 Alex Stein?

01:06:36.000 Oh, yeah.

01:06:37.000 Maybe Alex Stein knows this guy.

01:06:40.000 Yeah, he's messing around, man.

01:06:41.000 That's his main job.

01:06:42.000 He even produces his video.

01:06:44.000 Do a screen grab of this.

01:06:45.000 Ryan, right now?

01:06:47.000 And then we'll text it to Alex Stein.

01:06:49.000 Got it.

01:06:52.000 Imagine taking a picture of your shirtless self with a puppy.

01:06:58.000 And then framing it.

01:06:59.000 So that's two things, right?

01:07:01.000 And then sending it out to be made into a calendar.

01:07:04.000 That's three things.

01:07:06.000 And then putting both on your wall.

01:07:09.000 How about those four steps?

01:07:11.000 This guy is retarded.

01:07:13.000 And is that he's hugging his mom on the bed picture?

01:07:17.000 Yeah, I think it is.

01:07:18.000 You know what I bet it is?

01:07:19.000 I bet it was his first day in his new apartment, and he was so proud of himself.

01:07:24.000 Oh, I see.

01:07:24.000 That he has an apartment.

01:07:25.000 And his mom came and she made the bed.

01:07:27.000 And he said, I got a picture.

01:07:28.000 Got a picture of us, mom.

01:07:30.000 I finally did it.

01:07:31.000 His dad isn't around.

01:07:32.000 Clearly, he has no father, right?

01:07:34.000 And that's why the father's such an asshole in this movie.

01:07:38.000 Movie.

01:07:39.000 You saved my life.

01:07:42.000 And I can never repay you for that.

01:07:46.000 Well, there is one more pair.

01:07:49.000 You come to our wedding.

01:07:51.000 Sober.

01:07:53.000 Done deal.

01:07:55.000 We're all a family now.

01:07:57.000 Bring it in.

01:07:59.000 Look, he's paralyzed.

01:08:01.000 He's so hungover, he has no arms.

01:08:06.000 What a fucking clown this dude is.

01:08:08.000 If words can hurt, words can heal.

01:08:10.000 Let's all do a better job in treating one another with kindness.

01:08:14.000 That logic doesn't stand.

01:08:15.000 If guns can hurt, guns can heal.

01:08:17.000 Let's all do a better job in treating one another.

01:08:20.000 That's not proper grammar.

01:08:23.000 A better job in?

01:08:25.000 Words can hurt, words can heal.

01:08:26.000 Let's do a better job with.

01:08:29.000 Let's do a better job at.

01:08:31.000 Jesus.

01:08:32.000 We got to track this dude down.

01:08:34.000 We hope you guys enjoyed today's life lesson with Luis.

01:08:38.000 Take a picture of him.

01:08:39.000 Okay.

01:08:42.000 Make sure you smash the subscribe.

01:08:43.000 Is that what he's going to say?

01:08:44.000 Make sure to like and subscribe to this channel so you get notified every time we release a new video.

01:08:48.000 And as always, make sure to share this with someone that you love.

01:08:52.000 Done.

01:08:53.000 We're in.

01:08:54.000 You're our new Dar Man.

01:08:55.000 You're better than Darman.

01:09:13.000 He just loved to live that way.

01:09:16.000 And he loved to steal your money.

01:09:19.000 Have you noticed I'm doing something really annoying?

01:09:25.000 And they're not just Chucks.

01:09:27.000 They're like these Japanese versions of Chuck Taylors that apparently are exact duplicates of the original.

01:09:35.000 I got them in Gay Perry at some Japanese Americana file store.

01:09:40.000 I saw a lot of Carhartt there, and I realized the LARPing blue-collar thing is now its own subculture where we don't want the Carhartt to look broken in.

01:09:51.000 We're owning that we're posers.

01:09:54.000 So we wear brand new Carhartts and brand new Red Wings, and we don't want to get them dirty.

01:10:02.000 That reminds me of the one time you were talking about the mods versus the punks, right?

01:10:06.000 I mean, the way you broke it down with such precision, and it made me feel like I was like there.

01:10:13.000 And there's fashion, and then, oh, it was awesome.

01:10:16.000 Sorry to interrupt.

01:10:18.000 I have no idea who that is.

01:10:22.000 I'm Bernard.

01:10:23.000 I'm your biggest fan.

01:10:26.000 I don't remember you.

01:10:27.000 Yeah.

01:10:28.000 Ryan has been teaching me the buttons back here, and he said that I could just step in after the green screen.

01:10:32.000 So check my watch.

01:10:34.000 He just got it done.

01:10:35.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, never stop fighting, right?

01:10:42.000 Okay.

01:10:43.000 Yes, thank you.

01:10:44.000 And by the way, F. Weiss.

01:10:46.000 What a bunch of idiots.

01:10:49.000 I bet they're kicking themselves now.

01:10:56.000 I don't want to abandon that guy that we just showed as a subject, Biggest Super fan.

01:11:01.000 No problem.

01:11:02.000 Whatever you want, boss, sir.

01:11:05.000 I'm very disarmed by this.

01:11:08.000 So that's not Darman.

01:11:10.000 That's what, Lewis?

01:11:11.000 Louie?

01:11:11.000 Yes, life with Lewis.

01:11:12.000 Caught cheating.

01:11:15.000 Here's another one with his videos.

01:11:16.000 Okay, this is what he does.

01:11:19.000 He just makes things go viral, and he doesn't actually give a shit about how they look.

01:11:24.000 Like, her microphone is right there on her shirt.

01:11:27.000 Look at it.

01:11:33.000 That must be the first interview.

01:11:35.000 Okay, please don't act up.

01:11:40.000 Hi, I'm Sherry and I'm here for the babysitter interview.

01:11:43.000 Oh.

01:11:45.000 Actually, Shaniqua, the job has been filled out.

01:11:49.000 Thank you so much.

01:11:51.000 You said this was the first interview.

01:11:52.000 Diamond, grown-ups are talking.

01:11:55.000 Okay, I understand.

01:11:57.000 He's actually the best actor there.

01:12:01.000 How is this justice?

01:12:02.000 Oh, yeah, that's so great.

01:12:04.000 Okay, I've seen this one.

01:12:05.000 So she doesn't want her because she's black, and then she takes a white guy as a babysitter, and he ends up robbing her.

01:12:12.000 But why the fuck is a 50-year-old who's adjusting his forehead?

01:12:17.000 Look at that.

01:12:18.000 He's fixing his forehead skin.

01:12:21.000 Charm the crap out of that mother.

01:12:23.000 She'll be eating out of my hand.

01:12:24.000 Who the fuck hires a 45-year-old man, or whatever he is, an ugly 30-year-old man, as a babysitter?

01:12:30.000 Remember to always judge a book by its cover.

01:12:32.000 That's not how I think it goes, Mom.

01:12:35.000 This is one of many channels that he farms out.

01:12:38.000 There's this one and there's To Catch a Cheater.

01:12:43.000 Okay, this is my theory on him.

01:12:45.000 Jewish, no dad, doting mother.

01:12:51.000 The mom got him a job to catch a cheater.

01:12:55.000 Maybe she blew someone or something.

01:12:57.000 What?

01:12:58.000 Oh, wait, maybe he's Mexican?

01:13:00.000 I think he is Mexican, yeah.

01:13:01.000 He actually got Chris Hansen involved in this.

01:13:06.000 How's it going, Chris?

01:13:07.000 So how does he have multiple channels with like millions and millions of views?

01:13:13.000 Well, he's figured out the algorithm.

01:13:15.000 And he does things like fake.

01:13:17.000 He does these like stings where someone seduces.

01:13:21.000 It's to catch a cheater.

01:13:22.000 And it's these stings where he gets a guy to cheat on his girlfriend, but it's all fake.

01:13:31.000 He immediately starts by saying he's been divorced for 10 years.

01:13:34.000 He's been married for five years, but says he's been divorced for 10.

01:13:39.000 The next day, Diana joins us at our Airbnb Stinghouse, and we show her the footage.

01:13:44.000 I'm visiting for the week.

01:13:45.000 Oh, okay.

01:13:46.000 Let's see, yeah.

01:13:47.000 And I just think you're really cute.

01:13:48.000 Oh, wow, I'm glad someone see you soon.

01:13:50.000 No, no, no, no, no, it's not.

01:13:52.000 Heather puts on a great performance, like always.

01:13:54.000 And she convinces Diana's husband that she's actually interested in going out with him.

01:13:59.000 Why is Chris Hansen cheapening himself by appearing on a really shitty fake sting operation?

01:14:06.000 That's not illegal, by the way.

01:14:08.000 Chris, you caught people that wanted to fuck kids.

01:14:10.000 Now you're catching a horny guy?

01:14:14.000 He takes the bait and takes it.

01:14:16.000 By the way, this is not cheating.

01:14:21.000 Cheating is sexual contact with a woman.

01:14:24.000 If you get someone's number, that's flirting.

01:14:27.000 Maybe you're just, you haven't been hit on by a hot girl.

01:14:30.000 I haven't been hit on by a hot girl probably in 25 years.

01:14:35.000 So if it were to happen, I might play along for a little bit just for fun.

01:14:40.000 It's not cheating until there's contact.

01:14:44.000 So if this ruins their marriage, then everyone involved is retarded.

01:14:48.000 But this isn't even real.

01:14:52.000 Like, who's watching this?

01:14:54.000 Diana is shocked by this.

01:14:56.000 That's the weirdest part.

01:14:57.000 Millions and millions of views on every channel, and they're poorly done, too.

01:15:02.000 The audio is terrible.

01:15:03.000 Yeah, Alex Stein used to work on that show.

01:15:07.000 Ah, straight to voicemail.

01:15:09.000 Shoot.

01:15:11.000 Wait, was that Ryan is back?

01:15:14.000 No, no.

01:15:15.000 I do a good Ryan impression, though.

01:15:16.000 He's been teaching me how to learn the ways of the voice karate or whatever.

01:15:23.000 Any impression you want, I could probably whip up.

01:15:28.000 Do John Taffer.

01:15:30.000 Okay.

01:15:34.000 Oh, these pipes have salmonella.

01:15:36.000 We're going to shut it down.

01:15:38.000 That just sounds like you saying a John Taffer thing.

01:15:41.000 I'm still working on that one.

01:15:42.000 It's not my best.

01:15:47.000 Alex Stein does not know him.

01:15:50.000 He worked on the show Cheaters then.

01:15:53.000 I think he's just a really hard-working, low-IQ individual.

01:15:58.000 I guess.

01:16:00.000 I feel like it's very The Room by Tommy Wiso, where it's so bad it's good, but he's got to know that the script is on the table and the lab mic is showing and the audio is bad and the captions are off.

01:16:17.000 And then show those little mini-movies, like the one where there's a blind guy who drops his phone.

01:16:24.000 Oh yeah, the shorts.

01:16:26.000 And then the guy looks like he's going to steal the phone, but he decides to give it back to the blind guy.

01:16:31.000 And it's the acting, this fake gotcha thing is so beyond bad.

01:16:37.000 Okay, so I'm sorry I said the Jew thing.

01:16:39.000 thought he was rich, but he's not.

01:16:40.000 He's a low IQ Mexican whose mom...

01:16:49.000 And he just works his ass off.

01:16:51.000 We know they're hard workers, right?

01:16:54.000 So what you're watching is really lawn care if it was focused on YouTube.

01:17:00.000 Or dishwashing if it was YouTube creator.

01:17:05.000 Yeah, this one.

01:17:06.000 I didn't wear it.

01:17:08.000 Did she just flash him?

01:17:09.000 It looks like she's showing him his cleavage to test his vision.

01:17:12.000 Oh my god.

01:17:14.000 Showing him his cleavage.

01:17:15.000 Here we are with Ace, and today he's testing his golf band with an iPhone 12.

01:17:21.000 Here's your one.

01:17:23.000 Here's the short one.

01:17:24.000 Okay, this one's insane.

01:17:26.000 He picks it up.

01:17:28.000 That's tough to resist.

01:17:30.000 He looks around.

01:17:32.000 No, no, no, no.

01:17:33.000 He's blowing it back down.

01:17:35.000 And then he pulls it out of his pocket.

01:17:37.000 Yeah, that makes him a good guy.

01:17:40.000 That's Big D. Hmm.

01:17:43.000 I wonder how much money he makes.

01:17:46.000 You dropped your iPhone.

01:17:47.000 Oh, you know what we're watching?

01:17:49.000 We're watching low IQ culture.

01:17:53.000 Like, say we were to read a bunch of scientific journals, we'd be in high IQ culture.

01:18:00.000 This is what stupid people watch and enjoy, and it's stupid people on it, and it's stupid people producing it and doing the sound and everything.

01:18:09.000 This is like we're on a different planet.

01:18:11.000 It's stupid down.

01:18:12.000 Look, she's so happy he didn't steal the iPhone.

01:18:14.000 She proposes to him.

01:18:17.000 Of course.

01:18:18.000 Oh, God.

01:18:19.000 Woo!

01:18:21.000 Thank you, American Justice Warriors.

01:18:24.000 He just dropped the iPhone in front of him.

01:18:25.000 So he's a good guy.

01:18:26.000 He thought about taking it for a second, though.

01:18:28.000 Put it in his pocket.

01:18:31.000 Wow.

01:18:35.000 All right.

01:18:36.000 We're sort of doing shorter shows these days because Ryan has let us down by taking a baby to Disneyland.

01:18:46.000 You know, I love Ryan.

01:18:47.000 I don't agree with that move at all, Gab.

01:18:49.000 I think you're right.

01:18:52.000 I mean.

01:18:54.000 Like, for me, this is like a vacation.

01:18:58.000 By the way, I would have subscribed to you before, like, Rebel.

01:19:02.000 Remember Rebel?

01:19:03.000 Yeah.

01:19:04.000 Yeah, I would watch all those and they're like, oh, Canada.

01:19:06.000 And stuff like that.

01:19:07.000 So you've changed my life.

01:19:09.000 I mean.

01:19:11.000 Sorry.

01:19:14.000 If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have asked my girlfriend out.

01:19:18.000 We're working on a baby.

01:19:21.000 Working on a baby?

01:19:23.000 Yeah.

01:19:23.000 This must be tough.

01:19:25.000 All right, let's get to the mailbag.

01:19:29.000 Shut up, you don't have a dad.

01:19:33.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

01:19:39.000 Let me touch it.

01:19:44.000 Holy Gavin, I met you guys at WestFest last year in the mansion.

01:19:47.000 When I told you I was from Benezuela, you asked if that's why my breath smelled like dogs and cats.

01:19:53.000 I crack me up.

01:19:55.000 I write you guys because one of you guys that you also know is Zach Riel is in jail because of the meandering.

01:20:00.000 You actually interviewed him years ago about the pro-cop.

01:20:02.000 Yeah, we talk about Zach all the time, dude.

01:20:06.000 The three proud boys that I'm most familiar with in prison right now are Zach Riel, Ethan Nardine, and Joe Biggs.

01:20:12.000 And they're all real men who are standing their ground, refusing to cop a plea, refusing to snitch, even though there's nothing to snitch on, and are prepared to sit there forever.

01:20:23.000 He's also the guy who had a rally, sort of a put up his thing on the screen, shithead.

01:20:29.000 Yeah, I'm looking for it.

01:20:32.000 Zach Real, PhillyPB.

01:20:34.000 It's a brand new email.

01:20:36.000 No, okay, I got it.

01:20:38.000 Do they have to have purple flags for you to see them?

01:20:41.000 No.

01:20:42.000 wait, wait, wait.

01:20:48.000 That's what I was looking for it.

01:20:50.000 At the end of the bumpers.

01:20:52.000 Yeah.

01:20:53.000 Thanks, dude.

01:20:55.000 Do you watch the show?

01:20:56.000 I mean, I guess you don't watch the credits.

01:20:58.000 Maybe Venezuela means he has a low IQ.

01:21:00.000 Maybe every third world country is just a different IQ set.

01:21:05.000 Perhaps.

01:21:06.000 But he's the guy.

01:21:07.000 He had a boomer rally in Philly, and it was just people with the Constitution.

01:21:11.000 He's pro-cop, and they do it all the time.

01:21:13.000 I don't think he was even a proud boy at the time.

01:21:16.000 And that became, then the synagogue shooting happened, and Antifa and the left and even mainstream media said his rally was a Proud Boys rally, and the purpose of it was to celebrate the Holocaust shooting.

01:21:31.000 I mean, sorry, the synagogue shooting.

01:21:34.000 And then the Jewish Museum put out a tweet that said, that day that said, we're still open today, despite what the Proud Boys are doing.

01:21:45.000 And then Antifa showed up and ended up beating up two Marines, who they assumed were Proud Boys, and calling them Spics and Wetbacks.

01:21:53.000 And then that night, they threw a brick through Zach's window that barely missed his girlfriend.

01:21:59.000 Almost hit his girlfriend.

01:22:04.000 So that guy has been in a clown world shitstorm for a long ass time.

01:22:12.000 Oh, wait a minute.

01:22:14.000 That email was from July 13th, 2021.

01:22:18.000 He's got a new one.

01:22:20.000 So I'm the idiot for showing that picture.

01:22:27.000 That email we've probably even read before.

01:22:29.000 Oh, I see.

01:22:36.000 What's new is he has a statement that he put out, right?

01:22:41.000 I've watched your show since 2015, hung out with you on previous WestFest, but you are both retarded lately.

01:22:46.000 The Westfest you went to last year with a group of disavowed idiots you could barely fit in a hotel room.

01:22:52.000 This year they had maybe 40 guys that have been kicked out from other chapters and can't take a hint.

01:22:56.000 The real WestFest had 300 guys.

01:22:59.000 So that tells you that you guys were hanging out with the wrong idiots.

01:23:03.000 I watched your Monday show and you should know that the 40 guys you hung out with supported an actually disavowed guy that stole and keeps stealing money from Zach Real and his family.

01:23:12.000 Here's a link to Zach's statement from jail about this from the official Philly Chapter Telegram channel.

01:23:18.000 Read it so you know who the fuck you were hanging out with.

01:23:20.000 Stop being gay, trying to bring back disavowed idiots.

01:23:23.000 Talk to Harry if you need to get up to date.

01:23:25.000 Kisses in the butthole for both of you.

01:23:27.000 Thank you.

01:23:30.000 I want to be clear of the situation so you hear it from me and not anyone else.

01:23:33.000 Richard is a con artist who stole thousands of dollars from fundraising use to assist me with my legal fees and put food in my children's mouth while I've been unjustly incarcerated.

01:23:40.000 He did this by convincing unsuspecting people into thinking he was helping out and talk to me while donating.

01:23:46.000 Hmm.

01:23:47.000 Well, you can just pause that and read it on your own time.

01:23:50.000 Kill me for a second, Ryan.

01:23:51.000 Okay.

01:23:52.000 I mean, what's your name?

01:23:53.000 Ben?

01:23:54.000 I'm back.

01:23:55.000 Oh.

01:23:56.000 Yeah.

01:23:56.000 Kill me, put that up, and then people can pause it if they want to read it.

01:23:59.000 Okay.

01:24:01.000 Just so I don't show the whole screen, I'm going to do this, but then make it totally there.

01:24:08.000 You could pause that, and then you can't pause shit.

01:24:11.000 What are you doing?

01:24:12.000 You could pause this, read that entire thing, and then I'm going to scroll down, and now you could pause that.

01:24:18.000 Because I don't want to show and dox all these guys on Telegram.

01:24:21.000 That's the only way I could see it.

01:24:22.000 Oh, I see.

01:24:24.000 And yeah, there we go.

01:24:26.000 And then pause that.

01:24:27.000 Okay.

01:24:28.000 So a lot of the guys, I want To just say that a lot of the guys that we're hanging out with are great guys.

01:24:32.000 A lot of them don't know what's going on.

01:24:34.000 They might not know all the details.

01:24:36.000 I think there are a couple of bad apples, maybe even in both camps.

01:24:39.000 But I don't know exactly who was Richard, but I guess I have to be a little more informed.

01:24:44.000 And, you know, for the most part, I've been hearing that it's not like a traitorous move to hang out with them.

01:24:50.000 It's just that we were misinformed.

01:24:51.000 Now, all of them as a collective, I can't speak on all of them individually, but maybe there is shady shit being done there, which does suck.

01:25:00.000 Well, the guys that I met, they said that Florida was split 50-50.

01:25:04.000 Anyway, we're boring people with all these details.

01:25:05.000 We'll work it out on our own time.

01:25:07.000 Someone sent in some caramel popcorn that says, thank you for supporting the Boy Scouts of America.

01:25:14.000 And there's a chick on the bag.

01:25:18.000 Go to the bottom there.

01:25:19.000 Boy Scouts of America, caramel popcorn.

01:25:21.000 Oh, so they put out this popcorn.

01:25:23.000 Go to the bottom of the bag.

01:25:24.000 Got it.

01:25:27.000 Thank you for supporting Boy Scouts of America.

01:25:29.000 It's at the top and the bottom.

01:25:31.000 And there is a chick.

01:25:32.000 Why the fuck did chicks join and ruin the Boy Scouts of America?

01:25:38.000 She's front and center, too.

01:25:39.000 Yeah.

01:25:41.000 Damn.

01:25:44.000 Is that a trans?

01:25:45.000 They're done, right?

01:25:46.000 Like, are there anyone...

01:25:49.000 It used to be really credible.

01:25:51.000 That's trans.

01:25:53.000 Look at the body.

01:25:55.000 Boy body.

01:25:56.000 Girl hands.

01:25:56.000 No, it's a little kid.

01:25:57.000 can't tell.

01:26:03.000 Hero goes around saving kids from trannies.

01:26:06.000 No, thanks.

01:26:08.000 I'm bored of those.

01:26:12.000 One last thing, Gabby.

01:26:13.000 I don't know if you're on Reddit before China bought it a few years back, but it used to be the Donald.

01:26:18.000 Yes, we're very familiar with that.

01:26:19.000 They scrubbed it from the internet, but there's a new thing now, and it's communities.win see the Donald.

01:26:28.000 Show people that URL.

01:26:31.000 Because I checked it out, and it's pretty cool.

01:26:35.000 Communities.win slash the Donald.

01:26:38.000 Like, look at this.

01:26:39.000 Click on the Biden is a fucking criminal moron.

01:26:44.000 And then they have a tweet where Biden goes, I believe we can hang cancer as we know it.

01:26:49.000 Even cure cancers once and for all.

01:26:52.000 How many cancers are there?

01:26:54.000 There's a lot.

01:26:58.000 Like the whole notion of curing, there's more than a hundred types of cancer.

01:27:02.000 I think for every, almost every part of your body, right?

01:27:05.000 Well, actually, they're going to change that.

01:27:08.000 Like, they call it lung cancer because almost every time that particular cancer is in your lungs.

01:27:14.000 But say lung cancer is C13X.

01:27:17.000 You can get C13X in your skin or in your heart or somewhere else.

01:27:21.000 Oh, interesting.

01:27:23.000 But it's easy to remember lung cancer.

01:27:26.000 So the idea of curing cancer, that's insane.

01:27:28.000 That's like curing crime.

01:27:30.000 Which crime?

01:27:33.000 Oh, theft, rape, and murder.

01:27:35.000 Okay.

01:27:35.000 What about shoplifting?

01:27:36.000 Yeah, that too.

01:27:38.000 You're going to cure all crime?

01:27:41.000 And then the response to Biden's tweet is a Daily Mail article that says Joe Biden's cancer charity spent more than $3.7 million on staff salaries, but distributed zero towards research grants over two years.

01:27:53.000 Tax filings reveal.

01:27:56.000 Hmm.

01:27:58.000 Uh...

01:28:02.000 And then that's the same guy.

01:28:05.000 No.

01:28:06.000 Sorry.

01:28:06.000 You only get one thing.

01:28:09.000 Would you rather have got together with your wife, losing your kids, or also stopping 911?

01:28:13.000 I don't do kid, would you rathers?

01:28:15.000 Don't ever bring anyone's kids into anything.

01:28:19.000 I might be late to this one, but I just discovered a new conversation.

01:28:22.000 Cutie.

01:28:24.000 Her name is Natalie Winters, and she does appearances on OAN and some other minor league outlets at the moment.

01:28:29.000 But I think she potential to be a star.

01:28:33.000 You must do the closed captions for Lewis's videos.

01:28:36.000 Ooh, that's my bread and butter.

01:28:38.000 That would make a great mistress.

01:28:39.000 Wouldn't she?

01:28:40.000 You remember meeting her?

01:28:42.000 No?

01:28:42.000 Yeah, a friend, we were in D.C. and a friend came up to us.

01:28:45.000 He was like, hey, this chick Natalie wants to meet you.

01:28:48.000 And then she came up.

01:28:49.000 She's like, hey, I'm a big fan.

01:28:51.000 Hmm.

01:28:52.000 I should make her my mistress.

01:28:56.000 Turn it up.

01:28:59.000 Today?

01:29:01.000 You know, canceling the Keystone Pipeline.

01:29:03.000 Go to the beginning of it.

01:29:05.000 In the area that the Biden regime really has been just royally messing up, and there are a lot of areas to contend.

01:29:12.000 Is that an energy policy?

01:29:15.000 And I think it's easy.

01:29:16.000 I mean, really, I think the only way you can describe the policies that they have been pursuing as America last and basically any other hostile foreign country, whether it's Russia or China, China first.

01:29:27.000 And I think it's interesting to kind of understand why this may be the case.

01:29:31.000 So I think the article that you were referencing that we recently published kind of starts to paint the picture of why the Biden regime, the policies that they pursue when it comes to American energy independence or lack thereof, whether it's canceling the Keystone pipeline.

01:29:46.000 She's not boring.

01:29:47.000 I'm just, you know, the mailbag is not to watch political videos.

01:29:51.000 But click on where she works.

01:29:54.000 There's so many of these sort of independent right-wing news companies now.

01:30:00.000 National Pulse.

01:30:01.000 National Pulse.

01:30:03.000 Oh, I think I looked up National Pulse and it's got like a billion followers on YouTube.

01:30:08.000 Oh, wait, the National Pulse.

01:30:10.000 I think it goes like this.

01:30:11.000 Whew.

01:30:19.000 Yeah, so I guess the mainstream media took over TV and social media, and now we're left with all these OAN, Newsmax, America's Voice, that chick we were talking about yesterday who had that thing, the Christian one, Daily Wire, probably the winner out of all those.

01:30:41.000 So Newsmax, I think, is in the lead.

01:30:43.000 But Daily Wire is up there.

01:30:46.000 MMA is better than boxing.

01:30:47.000 Gavin, boxing sucks, and here's a bunch of reasons why.

01:30:50.000 It's only one dimension of fighting.

01:30:51.000 A lot of the head movement in boxing doesn't work at MMA because it leaves you vulnerable to being kicked, kneed, or grabbed.

01:30:56.000 There's still head movement, but it's more subtle.

01:30:58.000 You hear boxers talk about the sweet Science.

01:31:00.000 The truth is, that sweet science is only one aspect of fighting.

01:31:04.000 Boxers have mastered the art of fighting with their hands.

01:31:06.000 True fighting is much more chaotic when you have to worry about being grabbed or kicked.

01:31:10.000 When these other variables are involved, everything changes in regards to movement.

01:31:13.000 Yeah, this is a weird thing to argue with or argue about.

01:31:19.000 Have you ever been like boxing's better than MMA?

01:31:21.000 I don't think you've ever said that.

01:31:24.000 I just, I tried to get into MMA.

01:31:26.000 I don't know why.

01:31:27.000 It didn't stick.

01:31:28.000 Why do you have this fucking background, you moron?

01:31:31.000 Oops.

01:31:32.000 That was Lewis.

01:31:34.000 That was what?

01:31:34.000 Lewis.

01:31:35.000 I came back after that.

01:31:38.000 He's new.

01:31:39.000 Wait, Lewis?

01:31:40.000 You said his name was Ben.

01:31:41.000 Bernard.

01:31:42.000 I call him Lewis.

01:31:43.000 His name's Bernard, but your nickname for him is Lewis?

01:31:47.000 Yeah, so anyway, this takedown happens on their feet, though, to be fair.

01:31:53.000 I mean, what ended the fight?

01:31:56.000 I don't know.

01:31:57.000 Why are you talking about that particular fight?

01:31:59.000 That's the one they linked.

01:32:01.000 Oh, I see.

01:32:03.000 I don't know.

01:32:04.000 Maybe it's toes?

01:32:05.000 Oh, yeah, I don't like the toes.

01:32:09.000 I haven't gotten into it quite yet.

01:32:10.000 I know that if I want to be an effective street fighter or something like that, they always go to the ground, so you have to learn that.

01:32:16.000 And if you go to the ground with somebody who knows what they're doing, you're fucked.

01:32:19.000 But I want to learn boxing first.

01:32:21.000 The problem with those MMA sports and all that is, I don't know, it's easy to take down.

01:32:27.000 It's good at helping you take down one guy.

01:32:29.000 But if there's four guys, you really want to have your knockouts mastered.

01:32:34.000 Hey, I recently got out of the hospital being diagnosed with Gian Barr syndrome.

01:32:38.000 I learned how to walk again, and now every day of my life, I'm shitting blood.

01:32:42.000 Wow.

01:32:43.000 I am 30 years old, and my husband is so mad at me because I won't get a job again, but I have been so weak.

01:32:50.000 I have worked every day since I was 13.

01:32:53.000 So this is disappointing to think that he thinks that of me.

01:32:57.000 Every single day there's blood.

01:32:59.000 Health insurance, gone, because we worked in automotive repair our whole lives and we have a three-year-old who I love with all of my heart.

01:33:05.000 She's sounding pretty fat, huh?

01:33:08.000 The other issue is his new quote-unquote best friend likes smoking crack.

01:33:13.000 He was in the Marine Corps, spelled wrong, which is weird, for a while and has no place to live right now.

01:33:19.000 Anyhow, I feel like this personally, I feel like his personality has gone from me.

01:33:24.000 What?

01:33:25.000 I feel like his personality has gone from me.

01:33:29.000 Talk about not having the language at your disposal.

01:33:33.000 He is 40 and I'm 30.

01:33:34.000 What to do, Gavin?

01:33:35.000 Please help.

01:33:36.000 This has been an ongoing problem and I don't have any friends left.

01:33:39.000 Is that the saddest letter we've ever received, ever?

01:33:45.000 She's regularly shitting blood.

01:33:48.000 Her husband hates her because she won't get a job.

01:33:51.000 Her husband's hanging out with a crackhead.

01:33:55.000 You can't hang out with a crackhead and not smoke crack.

01:33:58.000 Sorry.

01:33:58.000 You don't sit there watching while your friend smokes crack and then begins to talk at a mile a minute.

01:34:05.000 Sounds like America.

01:34:07.000 I wonder if that's a good little microcosm of Biden's America.

01:34:13.000 People unemployed, shitting blood, doing crack.

01:34:16.000 I'm afraid I don't have any advice for you, my dear.

01:34:19.000 We could send prayers for sure, though.

01:34:21.000 Yeah.

01:34:22.000 Go to church, pray to God.

01:34:24.000 GBS syndrome seems fucking bad.

01:34:28.000 G-Dog, I was hoping you could break down this bad bitch's rap.

01:34:31.000 You seem to be a big rap guy.

01:34:32.000 I am a rap expert.

01:34:34.000 Yes.

01:34:35.000 A rap god, even.

01:34:37.000 She gon' meet this fucking dream.

01:34:39.000 Oh, boy.

01:34:39.000 Don't like me.

01:34:40.000 Only beef I like is gay.

01:34:41.000 Say she wanna fight me.

01:34:43.000 Today gonna be her lucky day.

01:34:44.000 And these bitches ain't no shit.

01:34:46.000 I swear they ain't a way.

01:34:48.000 Bitches ducking hiding.

01:34:49.000 Told her to come outside.

01:34:50.000 And I'm not like these bitches.

01:34:52.000 Oh, I'm like the guys.

01:34:54.000 We need Dhar Mann's subtitles I don't know I don't like this fucking cultural appropriation goth thing that the blacks are doing these days.

01:35:08.000 That's our shit.

01:35:09.000 Hey, yeah.

01:35:09.000 It's very expensive to shop at Hot Topic for those two years.

01:35:12.000 I need a bunny climb.

01:35:17.000 Everything got capitalized.

01:35:19.000 And they keep saying that I'm up next.

01:35:20.000 I think it's fucking time.

01:35:22.000 So it sounds like what's happening here is this woman is being threatened by a neighbor.

01:35:26.000 And she wants to make it clear to everyone else that she has no problem fighting said neighbor and she will win that fight.

01:35:34.000 So if the neighbor's watching this video, I hope she's learning some restraint because that woman's not going to stop.

01:35:43.000 All right, let's get to the final vid.

01:35:45.000 All right.

01:36:04.000 So yeah, as I was saying earlier, the beauty of capitalism and a free market is when you get fucked over, which is what has happened with TV News.

01:36:15.000 And we have one station on TV, Fox News.

01:36:18.000 And even they are sounding pretty pro-immigration, pretty pro-vax.

01:36:24.000 They even had a trans segment, remember last year?

01:36:27.000 About some wonderful kid who's taking puberty blockers.

01:36:31.000 So I think Fox, the only person over there worth your time is Tucker.

01:36:36.000 I like that Sean supports Trump, but he's kind of a prostitute for Trump.

01:36:40.000 Tucker doesn't support everything Trump does, which shows that he's not emotional about it.

01:36:50.000 And the beauty of our culture is we say, okay, we'll set up censor.tv, daily wire, we'll set up our own things.

01:36:58.000 We did this with talk radio.

01:37:00.000 They said, you can't have a voice, and we said, all right, we'll get our voice out on the radio.

01:37:09.000 And people learn to use the medium.

01:37:11.000 And I've noticed since comedy became woke, you're seeing people with the sprinkles appear on social media and do sketches on their own.

01:37:19.000 You know, Shane Gillis is a perfect example of this where he gets blackballed by, is that the term?

01:37:26.000 Blacklisted?

01:37:27.000 Blacklisted.

01:37:28.000 What's blackballed?

01:37:29.000 Similar.

01:37:30.000 He gets blacklisted by the comedy world.

01:37:33.000 So he makes sketches and goes around doing podcasts.

01:37:36.000 And it's amazing how you see all these unfamous people use the medium perfectly.

01:37:41.000 And you go, why aren't you on SNL?

01:37:43.000 Oh, I know why you're not on SNL because SNL isn't funny anymore.

01:37:48.000 So here's an example of a girl you haven't heard of using the medium perfectly.

01:37:53.000 Thank you.

01:38:12.000 She goes, I almost did it.

01:38:14.000 I almost nailed it.

01:38:16.000 Do you want some tea?

01:38:17.000 What?

01:38:18.000 You want some tea real quick?

01:38:20.000 This is the original.

01:38:22.000 Oh, did you just ruin it for me?

01:38:28.000 So she's just copying him?

01:38:30.000 Women are thieves.

01:38:32.000 They're less funny and intuitive than men.

01:38:35.000 And even this gay guy.

01:38:40.000 Oh, great.

01:38:41.000 So all she did was take his joke.

01:38:43.000 Yes.

01:38:45.000 This is a recently discovered thing that she's a thief.

01:38:51.000 Oh, so everyone thought that it was her being original?

01:38:53.000 Yes.

01:38:54.000 And then they found it some homo dude.

01:38:57.000 Yes.

01:38:58.000 And here I am introducing it as funny people get out there and they show their shit.

01:39:03.000 Well, that guy applies to that guy.

01:39:05.000 They also get robbed by unfunny bitches.

01:39:09.000 Well, that's why you're here, Ryan, to correct us when we're wrong.

01:39:12.000 And folks at home, I'd like to apologize for what you saw there.

01:39:17.000 That's not who I am.

01:39:19.000 It's not what this network represents.

01:39:21.000 And if I get fired for this, well, I had a good run.

01:39:26.000 I'm not sure who's going to replace me.

01:39:28.000 Maybe Ben Shapiro.

01:39:33.000 But maybe not.

01:39:35.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

01:40:05.000 Now love the soul.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - September 15, 2022

S4E163 - UNPOSSIBLE

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