DJ Ubert and Gavin McInnes talk about the weirdest things they've ever seen in New York City, and how to get out of the "friend zone" when it comes to women and sex. Also, we introduce a new segment called "The Cops and Robber Show," where we talk about crimes committed by cops and robbers.
Transcript
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00:00:13.000Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
00:00:20.000Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
00:01:03.000Isn't it funny what different experiences different people have?
00:01:07.000Like if there's a hot chick with big tits and a fat ass, a pokratudinous poly, she's just on the train and she knows every single dude there is dying to fuck her.
00:01:21.000And then you and I walk down the street and it's the farthest thing from anyone's mind.
00:01:29.000Like when I walk by woman, I could be a giraffe or a garbage can.
00:01:34.000They're never like, whoa, wouldn't mind a piece of that.
00:01:38.000Sometimes homos feel that way, but that doesn't help me.
00:01:43.000One time I was on my bike in the West Village and some gay 70-year-old was like, hello.
00:01:50.000And I almost circled my bike around and said, are you out of your mind?
00:01:55.000Do you know how out of your league I am?
00:01:58.000Well, sometimes there's an exception to the rule.
00:02:02.000And like a chick that thinks everybody wants the boner, a guy doesn't.
00:02:45.000We're not making the Thursday night the free show anymore because that's a show called Cops and Robber, where we have three cops or so, three to five cops, two to four cops, one to five cops sitting on a panel.
00:03:01.000And then we have our felon friend, Maddie.
00:03:04.000And then we look at cop videos and crime videos and we discuss them and we take calls and letters and stuff.
00:05:32.000And as I described yesterday, it condenses an hour workout into about half an hour.
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00:06:51.000Obviously, for using this episode to advertise the brand, we should be as milquetoast as possible, avoid race, the most undiscussable subject in the country, and present a very sanitized version of the show.
00:07:36.000And Talk FM, it used to have Chris Plant on it and Mike Knowles and Ben Shapiro and Dan Bongino, who, speaking of race, is every race in the world.
00:10:12.000Now, of course, when Elijah Muhammad is talking about the nation of Islam and he's talking about Islam, he's not talking about the Middle East.
00:10:18.000He's talking about their version, which includes a god who invented white people just to torment blacks.
00:10:25.000He has a giant penis and a giant brain.
00:11:04.000I just thought this is a really good talk, and he talks about climate change and woke, and it's a brilliant point, which is Britain is only 2% of the carbon emissions, so what are we supposed to do?
00:11:16.000And I'd rather live my life right now, thanks.
00:11:18.000And as I said yesterday, Greenies, why aren't you concerned with Ohio?
00:11:22.000Why are you so worried about three generations from now?
00:11:25.000But here's what I find weird about this lecture.
00:11:28.000This is Oxford, the Oxford debate thing.
00:11:30.000It's the Oxford Student Union, and they invite these guys in.
00:11:34.000This is what gave us, what's his name talking about?
00:13:11.000PG O'Rourke, they had that PG O'Rourke Guide to Everyone in the World, which was alarmingly racist and funny, and it attacked everyone at the same time.
00:13:21.000It was really a satire of racism is what it was.
00:13:25.000But when I went there, the person, the head of Harvard Lampoon was this black girl, Alexis Wilkinson.
00:15:09.000He's probably gay or trans or something.
00:15:12.000And that article is conceding that these people were chosen because of their race.
00:15:18.000They want to shake things up and they want to show Eaton, the other school, right?
00:15:22.000It's Oxford versus Eaton, as we learned in with Neil and I. They want to show Eaton that they're racist by hiring a bunch of visible minorities.
00:16:13.000Scottish people, when you invite them there, oh, there's a picture.
00:16:17.000When you invite, I guess you can, there was a picture is allowed.
00:16:20.000When you invite someone to a place like that and you're inducting them into a secret society, they should be treated very well.
00:16:28.000I don't think this black chick knew who the fuck I was.
00:16:31.000I think I was in there because of vice do's and don'ts, and I'd been doing a lot of sketches like Sophie Can Walk and How to Piss in Public.
00:16:37.000And that was, this was like 10 years ago when I was doing How to Be a Man, the movie How to Be a Man, a lot of Are Women Hornier Than Men, a lot of comedy sketches.
00:20:21.000Sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people's feet.
00:20:27.000They take filthy pictures of each other with cheap cameras, wash nothing but their cunts, fight with their feet, and perform sex acts with their faces.
00:20:36.000Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine.
00:20:40.000They gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language.
00:21:32.000PGRUC would probably be totally offended by this.
00:21:36.000Okay, let's clear our palates with one more white person, just because the only way we can live with black people being criticized in a black monarchy is to shit on whites more.
00:21:47.000Australians, racial characteristics, violently loud, alcoholic roughnecks whose idea of fun is to throw up on your car.
00:21:54.000The national sport is breaking furniture, and the average daily consumption of beer in Sydney is 10 and three quarters imperial gallons for children under the age of nine.
00:22:04.000Making a shambles is required study in the primary schools, and all Australians are bilingual, speaking both English and cheap, possibly a result of their countries being upside down.
00:22:15.000The local dialect has over 400 terms for vomit.
00:22:18.000These include technical or yawn, talking to the toilet, round-trip meal ticket, and singing lunch.
00:22:24.000It is illegal to employ the aboriginal inhabitants as anything but toilets.
00:22:28.000And some of the peculiar forms of native wildlife have up to nine assholes.
00:22:39.000The recent destruction of Darwin by a hurricane was actually a cover story for the regrettable coincidence of paydays on three separate sheep stations.
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00:25:38.000Go check out jumpmedic.com and look at the what's included page to get an idea of everything included in the jump medic pro the website has a lot of information about their products and what kind of customizations are available both incredibly durable bags allow for open flat access while in use which makes it quicker and easier to locate supplies in an emergency jump medic also sells refills for these kits and they sell first aid supplies
00:26:08.000for anyone who may need bandages medications and more they even sell the large and small first aid bags by themselves the jump medic Pro is great for nurses, paramedics, firefighters, and police, but it's also great for hobbyists and families.
00:26:20.000If you don't have a first aid kit in your home, or even if you do, this is a great product, possibly the most comprehensive first aid kit at this price that is currently on the market.
00:27:32.000So at that, the end of the thing, when you're being inducted, it does actually get cool towards the end.
00:27:38.000It's better than a burrito in a shithole.
00:27:40.000And I'm sorry, but I think culturally, if it was someone a little more Harvard lampoony, I would have got a cooler reception, like shots when we get there or something.
00:27:50.000But as I did my speech, I changed from my suit to the exact outfit that John Belushi wore in Animal House, complete with the college sweatshirt.
00:29:23.000Now, Black Lives Matter signs are in shop windows to say, don't smash this.
00:29:27.000And a lot of the time, black people are the head of the organization, or at least the face of the organization, to say metaphorically, don't smash our windows.
00:30:07.000The sort of typical role of women in these movies who might be like the logical one is killing all the fun.
00:30:12.000She's actually sort of in on all the action and is crucial to the plot.
00:30:16.000So the second you drop the needle, she's talking about women being underestimated and society being systemically sexist, and this woman actually is a great role model.
00:30:58.000They are complaining that drag, when it's men dressing up as women, all they have to do is lip-sync Taylor Swift and everyone claps.
00:31:09.000But drag kings live in a systemically biased society where they have to pull out props and have, and they do have a lot of props.
00:31:18.000It looks kind of funny to watch, actually, with fake arms and then they have 10 costume changes and then they come out as a bodybuilder, but the arms are fake and then their real arms come out of their chest and all this almost like guar level effects.
00:31:30.000And they wish they didn't have to work that hard, but that's the systemic prejudice that is going on in the gay community and drag.
00:31:37.000And I'm like, will you people ever stop complaining?
00:31:41.000You know, they could win the lottery and it would be like the tax on this lottery winning.
00:33:26.000We're going to bury dad next to the dog, and the dog will have a cute little gravestone.
00:33:31.000What the fuck kind of father doesn't kill a dog who bites his daughter's face and keeps the dog around, forgives him, and then the other kid is still hitting the dog.
00:36:55.000We are aware of some dynamics in your room and then I'm just hoping that you could wear a camera and explode what's going on there in the future.
00:39:47.000The deep fake is going to be what all deep fakes are, which, by the way, my son, he had an assignment in Spanish, and you have to go around your house and introduce your family.
00:41:05.000That's why I'm figuring it out, which is something that I understand that your son might not have had to go through because it's a certain level.
00:41:13.000But this is going to be for an intro for a very important thing.
00:41:16.000Speaking of not left news, something is going on.
00:41:24.000We've got a meteor that crashes into South Texas, half ton.
00:41:29.000We've had six UFOs flying over, some of them IFOs, but they started out as UFOs.
00:42:02.000Just sitting there, rotting, waiting for something.
00:42:08.000And local farmers, ranchers in the heart of California, concerned about hundreds of rail cars full of unknown substances brought out to heart of agricultural land and head of aqueduct to San Francisco, unordered by landowners.
00:42:21.000No one knows what or why they are here.
00:43:16.000They just put out a movie called How to Blow Up a Pipeline.
00:43:22.000Either it's China testing us because they're ready to go to war over Taiwan, or it is Antifa slash radical leftists who want to hit the great reset button, or it's globalists, and this is also the Great Reset.
00:43:36.000Globalists and Antifa are the same thing.
00:43:38.000Antifa are just the paramilitary wing of globalism.
00:44:22.000And yesterday we were at a gathering and we were alerted by another rancher that the railroad company, some company, nobody knows which company this is, has brought in hundreds of these railroad cars.
00:44:39.000And you can just see the line of them here.
00:44:41.000Let me see, make sure I'm getting it in the shot.
00:44:44.000Pull up one of them, see what's in it.
00:50:29.000It's a dystopian time machine where you can see where America is going to be in five years.
00:50:33.000And in five years, apparently, Catholic students will be arrested for not wanting men in women's bathrooms and saying that there are only two genders.
00:50:49.00016-year-old Josh Alexander has been suspended from St. Joseph Catholic High School in Ontario, Canada, for protesting against transgender people's use of bathrooms and saying God only created two genders.
00:51:02.000Leadership in the school told him his continued attendance would be detrimental to the physical and mental well-being of transgender students.
00:51:08.000You can't be transgender and Catholic.
00:51:11.000He tried to come back to class and got arrested for trespassing.
00:51:15.000Catholics cannot be Catholic at Catholic schools.
00:53:30.000Well, beard oils are oils that go in your beard.
00:53:33.000They relieve itching and dry skin under your beard.
00:53:36.000They hydrate your skin as well as the hair, making both healthier, more resistant, and less likely to succumb to itch, dry skin, and dandruff.
00:53:42.000And there's nothing worse than beard dandruff on a black shirt.
00:53:47.000Every man goes through a phase where he goes, why don't I just wear all black all the time, like a black dress shirt with a black blazer?
00:53:53.000I'm going to become the Johnny Cash guy.
00:53:55.000And then they try it and they're covered in dandruff and they go, oh, yeah, that's why I don't do that.
00:53:59.000Well, you can be the Johnny Cash guy with Beard Vet Beard Bomb.
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00:54:16.000Enter the promo code Gavin to receive 15% off.
00:58:57.000When you present the suggestion that anyone is saying that it is time for a new generation and they're running against the person who is president, and when presented as though it's an attack,
00:59:13.000I would like to let us all be clear that the attack is misplaced if the point of it is that we need leadership that is strong, because we have a strong leader in Joe Biden.
00:59:29.000Wouldn't it be awesome if that woman said, what the fuck are you talking about?
00:59:32.000But when you present the suggestion that anyone is saying, go back, go back.
00:59:37.000I want to learn this new language that it's time for a new generation, and they're running against the person who was president, and when presented as though it's an attack.
00:59:45.000So she's talking about the DNC running a younger person, like, say, Gavin Newsome, and that attack is misplaced.
00:59:52.000Because if you're saying we need strong leadership, and the strong leadership would be Gavin Newsom, you're implying Biden is weak.
01:03:24.000Went golfing, hit a few holes in one, wanted to solo queue some Overwatch to end the day, and I see fucking fucking Bidenator in my lobby just to ruin my day.
01:03:32.000Can't wait until Blizzard fixed matchmaking, Jesus fucking Christ.
01:03:37.000Trump with the greatest Mountain Dew ever created.
01:05:26.000Here he is saying that over half the women on his staff are women, which is actually probably true with all these trannies that he's hiring.
01:05:32.000He is the most affirmative action president in history.
01:08:22.000Go to 2.6 because 25A is mentioned in that.
01:08:27.000He talks like the way that, like, if there's a hard level on Guitar Hero, that you just kind of fake notes until you get to the part that's easy.
01:08:39.000He talks like those videos where someone's coming back from a root canal and she's in the car and she's got that fucking shit in her mouth and she's like, Dad, I gave my boyfriend a blue job.
01:08:51.000He's like, all right, that's enough, Jennifer.
01:08:54.000Did you see one of those where she was coming back from the dentist and they convinced her that there's a zombie apocalypse?
01:12:19.000Here's what I was saying before about his judges being affirmative action and everything he does being affirmative action, not based on merit.
01:18:59.000Or do you think they have random dudes get plastic surgery?
01:19:02.000If they were going to do that, then they'd get a smart guy who can remember the lies and not say things like, I can't believe I'm in prison.
01:21:22.000I really don't see her often talking about railroad cars and how hundreds of them are sitting in very crucial agricultural land for no reason.
01:21:33.000So they show her letter here, and let's just apply our bullshit detector on it.
01:21:38.000Because my personal hunch is more than 90% of the time you hear about these cases, they turn out to be bullshit.
01:21:47.000So this is National Action London sell.
01:26:44.000And these guys openly despise white people, laugh at the Holocaust, and promote a violent black revolution where white people are murdered in their beds dead.
01:27:44.000The career landscape is a lot broader than that big brain thinks it is, which is weird since you have so much experience being a college graduate.
01:30:41.000They have the cabinet Roz Williams hanged himself on, the actual bunk beds the Heavenscape people died in, Kvorkian's suicide machine, and some of Gigi Allen's clothes.
01:30:50.000I'm not sure if you're into seeing that stuff because it's pretty morbid, but you may want to check it out when you do your live show out there.
01:30:55.000They even have a bigger museum in New Orleans, too.
01:30:58.000There's a cool museum in Las Vegas called Zach Bagan's Haunted Museum that has similar stuff.
01:31:57.000We'll announce the actual location day of.
01:32:00.000It's about 40 minutes, I'm 20 minutes from downtown.
01:32:04.000And if you could pull up the poster, last year's tour was the Cognitive Dissidence Tour.
01:32:10.000This one is called the End Racism Tour that features handicapped people, me and Anthony and Josh and Ryan, and we're trans and gay and feminist.
01:32:24.000And if you cancel it, you're promoting racism.