Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S4E226 - SPECIAL NEEDS

00:00:15.000 Sure.

00:00:16.000 It's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McKinnon.

00:00:20.000 Sweat, baby, sweat, baby. 1.00

00:00:22.000 Sex is a Texas drought. 1.00

00:00:23.000 Me and you do that kind of stuff that only French would sing about. 1.00

00:00:27.000 So put your hands down my pants, and I'll bet you'll feel nuts. 1.00

00:00:31.000 Yes, I'm Joey. 0.98

00:00:32.000 Yes, I'm Biden.

00:00:33.000 And you're getting two thumbs up.

00:00:35.000 You've had enough of two-hand cuffs.

00:00:36.000 You want to rub your mouth about. 0.99

00:00:39.000 I want you smothered. 1.00

00:00:40.000 I want you covered.

00:00:41.000 That's the most coherent I've ever heard Joe Biden.

00:01:06.000 Me too. 1.00

00:01:06.000 I mean, he's so retarded, you press the stop button and he kept going, but... What an idiot. 1.00

00:01:11.000 Besides that. 1.00

00:01:12.000 What a stupid idiot retard. 1.00

00:01:15.000 Yes. 1.00

00:01:16.000 It's not a nice word.

00:01:17.000 No.

00:01:17.000 But, guys, when you take away words like the n-word, which was, it just had a great trigger sound to it, you can't replace it with people of color.

00:01:28.000 Midgets are little people. 1.00

00:01:30.000 What do you got for retard? 1.00

00:01:31.000 Special needs? 0.86

00:01:33.000 Mentally challenged.

00:01:35.000 Special needs actually is pretty funny to say Biden is special needs.

00:01:39.000 Sped.

00:01:39.000 But then people started saying sped and now that's bad.

00:01:43.000 Sped doesn't come from special needs.

00:01:45.000 Special ed?

00:01:46.000 Yeah.

00:01:49.000 Today is a fun show.

00:01:50.000 It's a free show.

00:01:51.000 It's got sponsors.

00:01:53.000 It's pretty much like the other shows.

00:01:55.000 This is Get Off My Lawn.

00:01:56.000 Mondays, Tuesdays, and Fridays are normal days.

00:01:58.000 Friday's the free day with ads, but Monday and Tuesday are very normal.

00:02:02.000 Wednesday, we're in the city with Anthony Cumia on Compound Censored.

00:02:07.000 We're in the city now.

00:02:07.000 We're in the Bronx, but this is the island of Manhattan.

00:02:11.000 On Wednesdays and then Thursdays it's Cops and Robber where we have a panel of police and one criminal and we go through various cop videos and I insult female cops, they defend them. 0.99

00:02:24.000 I insult criminals, criminals give their side of the story and they all seem to get along.

00:02:31.000 That was last night's show.

00:02:32.000 Last night's show, we had Vinnie Parko, who just got out of jail for framing a guy, sort of, who was using prostitutes, and the guy was attacking his client for sleeping with a 17-year-old.

00:02:44.000 So he said, really? 0.99

00:02:46.000 What about the time you got fucked with a strap-on? 0.99

00:02:48.000 Here, I have it on tape. 0.99

00:02:50.000 So that was considered soliciting prostitution. 1.00

00:02:52.000 Vinnie's convinced it's because they were all Hasidic Jews, and they hold a lot of sway with the Brooklyn DA.

00:02:57.000 They hold a lot of oive with the Brooklyn DA.

00:03:01.000 Native Fashions is one of our sponsors.

00:03:03.000 They made this wonderful suit.

00:03:06.000 One of the best things about it, these suits, is it says your name in them.

00:03:11.000 You kind of have to fantasize that when you die, your sons are going to be, you know, not happy, but they'll be honored to wear your old clothes.

00:03:19.000 My son's already six feet.

00:03:21.000 If he wears this, it looks like floods. 0.99

00:03:23.000 That's a dumb thing. 0.99

00:03:25.000 Don't live for your legacy. 0.99

00:03:27.000 I mean, obviously you want to have kids and be

00:03:30.000 Immortal in that sense, but don't live for how you'll be perceived in history live for the moment I started vice if you look at any sort of background advice. 0.98

00:03:39.000 I'm completely written out of it I was the sort of progenitor of not just vice and hipsters, but that whole early odd scene in New York City Totally excluded Stalin airbrushed out of the photographs like Stalin would I don't give a shit Because I was there at the time and it was fucking fun. 0.98

00:03:55.000 I 0.96

00:03:56.000 So don't buy suits from Nita Fashions because your kids will want them one day.

00:04:01.000 Wear them, buy them, because you want them today.

00:04:05.000 And one of the funnest parts of Nita Fashions, you can contact them, direct message them from their Instagram, or you can find them on their website.

00:04:12.000 What are those URLs, Ryan?

00:04:13.000 NitaFashions.com, and they are Nita Fashions on Instagram, I'm pretty sure.

00:04:19.000 Yeah, it's all pretty.

00:04:20.000 You can get to their Instagram by their site too.

00:04:23.000 So they're doing, they just finished Australia.

00:04:26.000 We had a lot of people say thank you for hooking us up in Australia.

00:04:30.000 When you go to these, they go to hotels around the world.

00:04:33.000 You meet them, you give them your measurements.

00:04:35.000 They show you a bunch of swatches.

00:04:37.000 You feel like a monarch.

00:04:38.000 You feel like the king of England.

00:04:40.000 And then they go home to Hong Kong.

00:04:43.000 They make the suit and they send it to you.

00:04:44.000 It arrives in the mail and you got a cool wardrobe that fits perfectly.

00:04:51.000 Like look how perfect this cut is.

00:04:56.000 So, they'll be in New York, March 28th, 29th, 30th, 31st, April 1st, six days.

00:05:03.000 They'll be at the Towers at the New York Lot Palace Hotel, 455 Madison Avenue.

00:05:09.000 So book your appointment with them and then they'll give you the address and everything.

00:05:12.000 Or you can call the main boss, Peter Daswani.

00:05:16.000 His U.S.

00:05:17.000 mobile is 662-422-1853.

00:05:18.000 They're in Boston, April 3rd to 5th.

00:05:26.000 They're in Washington DC, April 6th to 8th.

00:05:30.000 They're in Houston, Texas, April 10th to 12th.

00:05:34.000 They're in Dallas, Texas, April 17th to 19.

00:05:38.000 Chicago, Illinois, April 20 to 23.

00:05:40.000 Denver, Colorado, April 24, 25.

00:05:42.000 LA, 27, 28, 29.

00:05:49.000 And then, of course, San Fran.

00:05:52.000 April 30th to May 1st.

00:05:54.000 That's three days.

00:05:55.000 The hotels are listed here, but you can also, when you contact them, they'll make it clear where and when your appointment is.

00:06:02.000 It's a fun appointment.

00:06:03.000 I like to drag it out.

00:06:05.000 I'll feel like 900 shirts.

00:06:08.000 Put up a whole suit.

00:06:09.000 Put a whole suit together with the buttons.

00:06:11.000 What kind of buttons do you want?

00:06:12.000 Or what do you want the inside lining to be?

00:06:14.000 And then I might change my mind.

00:06:16.000 No. 1.00

00:06:17.000 And they'll also do crazy shit. 1.00

00:06:19.000 Like I, you saw my Jesse James suit. 0.99

00:06:21.000 I saw some old picture of Jesse James, you know, getting busted.

00:06:25.000 I was like, that suit is a weird shape.

00:06:27.000 I want that.

00:06:28.000 No problem, Gavin.

00:06:29.000 Here you are.

00:06:32.000 All right.

00:06:33.000 Let's get into some fun news.

00:06:35.000 Now I yelled this across the studio, Ryan, but we're, we're separated by two walls.

00:06:40.000 So I don't know if you heard me.

00:06:41.000 Did we discuss this special needs comedian?

00:06:45.000 Sped?

00:06:47.000 Spaz? 0.97

00:06:48.000 I don't know, we did not.

00:06:50.000 We did not?

00:06:51.000 I saw him on Kill Tony and I thought it was funny how women constantly complain that people don't laugh at their jokes because they see them as... We just can't handle a powerful woman like Roseanne Barr who's been doing comedy for 43 years, I believe. 0.95

00:07:09.000 She started in 1980.

00:07:11.000 Yeah, no one wants to hear her.

00:07:12.000 She hasn't had an incredible career.

00:07:16.000 Ladies, we're not laughing because you're not funny. 1.00

00:07:19.000 So here's proof.

00:07:20.000 This guy comes out, and he can't speak.

00:07:24.000 You may have to scroll forward a bit to get to this. 1.00

00:07:30.000 Fucking stupid. 1.00

00:07:31.000 No, no, that's a little too far. 1.00

00:07:32.000 Oh, okay, so he is... Oh, he can stand.

00:07:35.000 That's good. 1.00

00:07:36.000 Fucking sensation! 0.99

00:07:39.000 I went... 1.00

00:07:40.000 Canadian, of course.

00:07:42.000 You're welcome, America, for all those funny guys.

00:07:45.000 That's Scottish, by the way.

00:07:46.000 The reason Canadians are funny is because it's Scottish. 1.00

00:07:49.000 A goddamn sensation. 1.00

00:07:52.000 I was drinking with this man for fucking five hours last night. 1.00

00:07:56.000 That's not ethical. 0.99

00:07:57.000 Having somehow the best conversations I've ever had with anyone.

00:08:02.000 And how about one more time, ladies and gentlemen, this is

00:08:10.000 A visitor from Canada, this is the great Aaron Belisle, everyone.

00:08:14.000 One of the devil's names.

00:08:14.000 Belisle, uh-oh.

00:08:18.000 The most interesting thing about having cerebral palsy is that it makes other people fucking stupid. 1.00

00:08:28.000 People come up to me and start gesturing at me, yelling real slow, like, hello. 1.00

00:08:33.000 Can I pet your dog?

00:08:39.000 Uh-oh.

00:08:42.000 And I'm like, oh my, are you okay? 0.99

00:08:47.000 Are you having a fucking stroke? 1.00

00:08:49.000 A fucking stroke. 1.00

00:08:50.000 That's the stroke you get when you're fucking. 1.00

00:08:52.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:08:53.000 Someone come help. 0.78

00:08:54.000 Call 911.

00:08:54.000 I can't do it.

00:08:59.000 I think the funny thing there is the 900-11 part, right? 0.57

00:09:08.000 No, the funny part is that he can't speak, so you can't call 9-1-1.

00:09:10.000 I'll explain all crippled jokes to you, Ryan. 1.00

00:09:14.000 Oh, the only funny part that I liked was the 9-1-1.

00:09:17.000 Well, it's subjective.

00:09:18.000 No, I think he's great.

00:09:21.000 I mean, I guess I could.

00:09:22.000 I sound a lot like someone who is having a stroke.

00:09:31.000 When you see people that are mute, you're like, how are you mute?

00:09:34.000 Can't you just talk?

00:09:38.000 Doctors can go in and fix stuff. 0.97

00:09:40.000 They do sex changes.

00:09:42.000 Can't they go into your larynx and reboot it? 0.82

00:09:46.000 You don't have the organs in there?

00:09:50.000 Crippled people frustrate me. 1.00

00:09:53.000 Unbreak his wrist there.

00:09:56.000 Break it and set it again. 1.00

00:09:57.000 Fix your shit, handicapped people. 1.00

00:10:00.000 God, you're so lazy. 1.00

00:10:02.000 I still sound less like an idiot than you do. 1.00

00:10:08.000 He does a bunch of that stuff. 0.99

00:10:09.000 He tells one great story about how he got an Airbnb, and the payment took a while to go through. 1.00

00:10:14.000 So she shows up, she goes, get the fuck out of here, you scammer. 1.00

00:10:18.000 She's scared of like squatters and shit. 1.00

00:10:20.000 And then she sees him and she goes, oh my God, I'm so sorry. 0.99

00:10:26.000 And then they got so scared of being sued, they gave him a free stay.

00:10:29.000 Of course. 0.99

00:10:29.000 He's like, this isn't a cane, it's a fucking magic wand. 0.99

00:10:32.000 That's pretty funny. 0.99

00:10:34.000 I have one suggestion for him though.

00:10:35.000 So the way he's doing it on his phone, I'm sure he's got his reasons why, but it looks like it's in a text format and he's highlighting it and pressing speak.

00:10:43.000 But now, if you were to record those ahead of time, then you could just shuffle through, know what the title is, and then just kind of press play on them, you know?

00:10:52.000 Like a soundboard, instead of a text format.

00:10:54.000 Because it takes them a long time and it kills... You're battling that deadline.

00:10:59.000 He's not looking for tips, dude. 0.99

00:11:00.000 He's fucking destroying... I'm pretty sure he could use some tips. 0.99

00:11:03.000 Joe Rogan is talking about how amazing he is.

00:11:08.000 Your stand-up at Guitar World is so embarrassing, I think you sued the company to make them take it down?

00:11:14.000 No, it's still up.

00:11:15.000 Let's see it.

00:11:16.000 But I can talk.

00:11:17.000 Let's see it.

00:11:18.000 You'll notice that I'm speaking with my mouth.

00:11:20.000 So this is Ryan.

00:11:22.000 Ryan was just criticizing that handicapped person, saying he could be way better.

00:11:26.000 So you go, oh, okay, you must be good.

00:11:28.000 You'll notice this with almost all critics.

00:11:31.000 I'm not criticizing his comedy.

00:11:32.000 Even like Roger and Ebert, you go say, what did you make?

00:11:35.000 And then you see the movie they, I think it was Valley of the Dolls.

00:11:38.000 Is that what Siskel, one of the Siskel's or the Ebert's made? 0.80

00:11:42.000 And it's like, this is so bad.

00:11:43.000 It's kitsch.

00:11:44.000 Like it's awesome.

00:11:45.000 It's a great, terrible B movie.

00:11:48.000 How are we doing with your guitar world there?

00:11:50.000 I'm looking for it.

00:11:51.000 It was Imperial Guitar actually.

00:11:53.000 But you're missing the point.

00:11:53.000 Oh, I'm sorry.

00:11:54.000 I'm not criticizing his stand-up.

00:11:56.000 I'm telling him on a technical... Well, he obviously did type that in in advance.

00:12:01.000 He can barely move.

00:12:02.000 Yeah, so there's no point in having it be a text document.

00:12:04.000 Do you understand that?

00:12:05.000 So what should, what kind of document should it be?

00:12:07.000 It should be recordings that he could sift through.

00:12:09.000 How does he record them?

00:12:11.000 He, he takes, he takes that and then you could record it.

00:12:15.000 You have a friend that has like a, on iMovie you could do that.

00:12:18.000 You could screen record it.

00:12:19.000 So wait, you have someone recite his things?

00:12:21.000 No, there's plenty of ways to do it.

00:12:23.000 So I could have my phone talk and then just screen record it and then you could chop that just right in, in photos.

00:12:29.000 And then you would just scroll through and then you would title it, Joke 1 and Joke 2.

00:12:33.000 How does he record it?

00:12:34.000 Okay, look.

00:12:36.000 Anything that I play on my phone, I can screen record it.

00:12:39.000 Right, but how does he make his voice heard?

00:12:41.000 No, no, he does the same thing he's doing, but instead of pressing the speak button over and over again and highlighting texts, Then you just push the button of the recording.

00:12:52.000 This is what he's doing.

00:12:53.000 He's highlighting, and then clicking speak.

00:12:56.000 You can see him do it.

00:12:58.000 And now if I screen record that,

00:13:04.000 Yeah, that's like one second faster.

00:13:07.000 Ahead of time.

00:13:09.000 And you don't even know if you're right.

00:13:11.000 He might be just clicking pre-records.

00:13:13.000 How do you know?

00:13:15.000 Because I saw his screen.

00:13:16.000 I just showed you his screen.

00:13:18.000 He's like this.

00:13:20.000 I don't think he's selecting a paragraph and then clicking speak.

00:13:24.000 I think he's just clicking a button.

00:13:25.000 I think he's already doing what you're saying.

00:13:27.000 Anyway, you're powerfully killing the momentum of the show.

00:13:29.000 That's what I saw.

00:13:31.000 And that's the point.

00:13:31.000 Momentum is important, young man.

00:13:33.000 Yeah, well you definitely made the point that awkwardness can kill the momentum of something and ruin everyone's fun.

00:13:41.000 You did a fantastic job of that.

00:13:43.000 I'll hand that to you.

00:13:45.000 Speaking of crippled comedians, have you ever seen Two Less Legs? 1.00

00:13:49.000 Number two, L.E.S.S.

00:13:51.000 Legs. 0.99

00:13:53.000 He is an Antifa activist who just got a black guy fired for being a white supremacist. 0.98

00:13:58.000 You can do the math on your own. 0.99

00:13:59.000 But I checked out his comedy recently and compared to the guy we just saw, it's pretty fucking bad. 1.00

00:14:06.000 His comedy is basically, haha, crippled people suck. 1.00

00:14:10.000 And then you laugh because he's crippled. 0.99

00:14:12.000 Right?

00:14:13.000 Look up Two Less Legs on YouTube.

00:14:15.000 Gotcha.

00:14:16.000 Today.

00:14:18.000 Momentum, man.

00:14:20.000 Two less legs, Antifa. 0.72

00:14:20.000 I was. 0.72

00:14:22.000 How did you spell it?

00:14:24.000 Don't put in Antifa.

00:14:26.000 One word, number two, L-E-S-S, L-E-G-S. 1.00

00:14:31.000 We gotta start hooking up my computer to this fucking screen because this is insane. 0.99

00:14:36.000 There we go! 0.99

00:14:37.000 Yeah!

00:14:39.000 Kevin Hart's finally crippled!

00:14:49.000 Kevin Hart is finally crippled?

00:14:51.000 Does he mean Tracy Morgan?

00:14:56.000 And then he says Christopher Reese.

00:14:57.000 Isn't it Christopher Reeves?

00:14:59.000 Three years ago.

00:15:03.000 Kevin Hart's not crippled.

00:15:04.000 He's fine.

00:15:05.000 And Tracy Morgan was also fine.

00:15:07.000 He just pretended to be in big fucked up so he could get, I don't know, 200 million? 0.92

00:15:13.000 He had a severe spinal injury. 0.97

00:15:18.000 Yeah, did he make the kids get married before he was crippled? 0.99

00:15:18.000 He's alright. 0.99

00:15:42.000 Which I fully don't understand. 0.99

00:15:44.000 I've been around a lot of crippled motherfuckers, and I don't understand how he happened. 1.00

00:15:52.000 It's an anomaly. 1.00

00:15:53.000 He had them before he was crippled, I'm pretty sure.

00:15:55.000 You assume we know each other. 0.99

00:15:56.000 Anyway, this asshole, if you jump ahead to 1.9, you can see how I learned about two less legs. 1.00

00:16:05.000 He's part of this cavalcade of losers. 1.00

00:16:07.000 The only guy who's not a piece of shit in this montage, this collage of people, is Fred Meyers. 1.00

00:16:17.000 Oh, sorry, that's the store. 1.00

00:16:19.000 Daniel Ducombe.

00:16:20.000 We've had him on the show before.

00:16:21.000 He dared to say that he doesn't think the Confederate flag is racist.

00:16:26.000 Symbol of rebellion, you know like Billy Idol had on his guitar and the Dukes of Hazzard had on their roof It means I'm a rebel and I'm not listening to what the northerners that the authorities have to say

00:16:38.000 There's a very strong argument for that.

00:16:40.000 It's something I believe, but it's at the very least controversial.

00:16:45.000 Well, these three Antifa people who are all criminal miscreants just got him fired. 0.66

00:16:51.000 So the woman on the bottom is an absolute mental patient who keeps suing people. 1.00

00:16:57.000 She tried to sue Andy Ngo for retweeting her. 0.99

00:17:00.000 The guy in the bottom left is a pedophile! 0.98

00:17:03.000 He's been caught with child porn, and then the guy in the top left is a cripple who we just saw do stand-up comedy, and he seems to want everyone else to be crippled. 0.99

00:17:14.000 The attitude with a lot of these people, and it's true of Jason Charter, the guy that attacked me at CPAC, a lot of these crippled Antifa guys are just like, 0.99

00:17:24.000 I'm fucked up? 0.99

00:17:25.000 I'm a freak? 1.00

00:17:26.000 Well, I want to drag the world down with me. 0.69

00:17:28.000 So, the woman there in the middle, I'm sure her attitude is, I'm a mental patient?

00:17:32.000 Well, I want everyone else to suffer. 0.99

00:17:35.000 And I want the world to be as shitty as my brain is. 1.00

00:17:37.000 And then the pedophile is like, I want being a freak to be normal, so I can fuck kids, and it won't be unusual. 1.00

00:17:44.000 And then the cripple, of course, is like, well, if I can't have a happy life and walk around like you, Mr. Security Guard, then I want everyone else to be handicapped in some way. 1.00

00:17:55.000 So if you scroll down, there's White Rose of Willamette. 0.66

00:18:01.000 That's the chick I just showed you in the middle. 1.00

00:18:04.000 She's like, stop hiring this guy. 1.00

00:18:06.000 He's a white supremacist. 0.99

00:18:07.000 And then Kroger is like, done. 0.98

00:18:10.000 He's gone.

00:18:11.000 Thank you.

00:18:12.000 This is just like my show in Rutherford, New Jersey.

00:18:15.000 The cops canceled it because Antifa threatened them.

00:18:18.000 And I said to the chief of police, I go, you realize you work for Antifa, right? 1.00

00:18:22.000 And what's worse, you don't just work for Antifa, you work for one dumb bitch at Antifa. 1.00

00:18:27.000 She decides who gets to hear what in Rutherford, New Jersey. 1.00

00:18:31.000 She's your boss, I said.

00:18:34.000 And he goes, well, we'll have to disagree, agree to disagree there.

00:18:38.000 We're constantly get where we that case is about to be won, but we're just constantly working.

00:18:43.000 We're presently negotiating the numbers

00:18:47.000 Stop hiring Proud Boys as security.

00:18:49.000 And then look at two less legs. 0.95

00:18:51.000 I am truly beyond shook right now.

00:18:53.000 I am beyond angry!

00:18:55.000 You're always beyond.

00:18:57.000 Proud Boy and far right, unite the right, Andrew Duncombe, Duncombe?

00:19:02.000 Duncombe?

00:19:04.000 He's known as Black Rebel, is working security this moment at Fred Meyer Providence Park.

00:19:09.000 As soon as I saw him, my heart dropped and my PTSD, all within seconds, reminded me of every threat

00:19:17.000 I've ever had in my life, I assume. 0.98

00:19:20.000 And then you look at the video and you're like, so this cripples Petrified of Proud Boy, black, white supremacist. 0.97

00:19:26.000 Why are you filming him then? 0.98

00:19:28.000 Shouldn't you be running, screaming? 0.98

00:19:30.000 It's just like the black dudes who filmed the cops laughing. 0.98

00:19:33.000 Go play the video. 0.89

00:19:37.000 He protected his tweets recently.

00:19:40.000 I can play it.

00:19:41.000 I guess I follow him.

00:19:43.000 Anyway, in the video, you see Andrew Duncan.

00:19:48.000 What's his name again?

00:19:50.000 I thought it was Andrew Duncombe?

00:19:51.000 Yeah, you see Andrew talking to a guy going, oh, I know where that is.

00:19:55.000 Just follow me here.

00:19:56.000 It's at the end of aisle four.

00:19:57.000 And then you see that guy like, oh yeah?

00:19:59.000 Not on my watch.

00:20:01.000 Shutting it down.

00:20:03.000 And then keep going down there.

00:20:06.000 So that's two less legs. 1.00

00:20:09.000 We've seen this crazy bitch. 1.00

00:20:10.000 I just explained her suing everyone. 1.00

00:20:13.000 And then this guy.

00:20:15.000 That's the other dude who got him fired.

00:20:17.000 This is who we're up against.

00:20:18.000 They're not sending their best.

00:20:20.000 And this is why I'm so mad at us. 1.00

00:20:22.000 For instantly capitulating to these fucking losers. 0.99

00:20:25.000 It would be one thing if it was like a formidable voting force like moms against guns All right, that's they determine elections. 1.00

00:20:33.000 I can see being intimidated by them. 0.96

00:20:35.000 They represent more than half the country but this pedophile is telling you who can do security at your store and He's telling you that black people are white supremacists and you are accepting that Zoom out 0.98

00:20:52.000 Maybe it's up? 0.98

00:20:54.000 Go up a bit.

00:20:55.000 No, no. 0.90

00:20:58.000 Far to black security guard, white supremacist, the criminal case is still ongoing. 0.99

00:21:03.000 Oh yeah, oh yeah, sorry, other minor detail, that dude stabbed Andrew. 1.00

00:21:11.000 Fucking stabbed him right here too, which is a really dangerous place to be stabbed. 0.99

00:21:14.000 Go back. 1.00

00:21:15.000 There's a video of the stabbing.

00:21:22.000 So, they get this guy fired after they stab him.

00:21:25.000 That's him in the black.

00:21:26.000 He goes, why are you following us, dude? 0.98

00:21:28.000 And then, stab! 1.00

00:21:30.000 Did you just stab him? 1.00

00:21:34.000 Bro, he just stabbed him, dude! 0.97

00:21:36.000 This is... I'm showing you endless evidence that Antifa is the paramilitary wing of the DNC.

00:21:43.000 They represent the establishment.

00:21:45.000 They are the government.

00:21:46.000 That's why they constantly get away with no charges.

00:21:50.000 That's why, by the way, in 1-8, you see that John Sullivan, who was there, stormed the Capitol, claimed he was there as a journalist, he disguised himself as a Proud Boy, and CNN bought his footage for something like $25,000.

00:22:08.000 Then, CNN was in trouble because they were hiring Antifa to go storm the Capitol dressed as MAGA dudes.

00:22:16.000 called domestic terrorism.

00:22:18.000 That's called entrapment.

00:22:19.000 That's called being the news, not reporting the news. 0.99

00:22:22.000 So what they did was they started hiring him to report on other shit. 0.98

00:22:25.000 So now it looks like he's a real journalist. 0.99

00:22:27.000 There he is.

00:22:29.000 And the left seems to be learning this since Tucker.

00:22:33.000 We already knew this.

00:22:34.000 We knew John Sullivan.

00:22:36.000 We watched his fake reporting.

00:22:38.000 It's like David Shortell, the dude CNN sent to stake out Roger Stone's house and see if the SWAT teams show up.

00:22:46.000 He showed up at 5.

00:22:47.000 The SWAT teams were there at 5.15.

00:22:48.000 It was a 15-minute stakeout because obviously the Feds called CNN.

00:22:53.000 So CNN is a joke, but they don't cover their tracks.

00:22:56.000 And then we have these lefties, Naomi Wolf isn't very lefty, but she's not really mega, saying, oh, OK, I get it now.

00:23:05.000 Well, I'm glad you get it now.

00:23:06.000 How long has Joe Biggs been in solitary confinement, rotting in jail with Ethan Nordean and Zach Reale, totally abandoned, no bail possible?

00:23:14.000 They've been sitting rotting while you've been going, oh, maybe it wasn't an insurrection.

00:23:19.000 Yeah.

00:23:20.000 People don't insurrect and then have plans for lunch.

00:23:24.000 They don't insurrect with no guns.

00:23:28.000 But 1-7, you can see Naomi Wolf is finally ready to apologize to us.

00:23:33.000 Move it over to the left so I can read it.

00:23:38.000 It's tempting to sweep this confrontation with my own gullibility and move on without ever acknowledging that I was duped.

00:23:43.000 Yeah, it's still in the way of the middle.

00:23:45.000 Everything has to be past the middle mark for me to read it.

00:23:49.000 These mistakes multiplied by the tens of millions of people just like me.

00:23:53.000 I can't read it, Ryan.

00:23:55.000 See where thousands is?

00:23:57.000 That's my most right point.

00:23:58.000 There you go.

00:24:02.000 Keep going down.

00:24:06.000 That erasure blah blah blah.

00:24:07.000 I owe you a full-throated apology. 0.99

00:24:09.000 Am I the only guy that thinks of intense blowjobs when a woman owes us a full-throated apology? 1.00

00:24:14.000 Is she aware of that or am I just a very horny dude? 0.88

00:24:17.000 I believed a farrago of lies and as a result of these lies and my credulity and the credulity of people similarly situated to me, many conservatives' reputations are being tarnished on false bases.

00:24:30.000 The proximate cause of this letter of apology is the airing two nights ago of excerpts from tens of thousands of hours of security camera footage from the United States Capitol.

00:24:36.000 Taken on January 6th, the footage was released by Kevin McCarthy to Tucker Carlson.

00:24:40.000 While fact checkers stated it is misinformation to claim that Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi was in charge of Capitol Police that day, the fact is that the USCP is under the oversight of Congress, according to the United States Capitol Police.

00:24:53.000 So thank you, Naomi, for apologizing to us.

00:24:56.000 It's kind of late. 0.94

00:25:00.000 And speaking of being patsies for a random Antifa complaint and altering someone's future because an Antifa pedophile is in a bad mood, the Feds themselves, 1-6, have done a terrible fucking job of

00:25:17.000 their own domestic terrorism so we know that the feds do things like get online and say to dummies we should kidnap the governor and two or three of them will catch on so you have what eight people arrested or eight people involved in a plan to kidnap the governor when five of them were feds and three of them were us and that means the feds are out to frame us to trick us to get us thrown in prison which to me is

00:25:44.000 Terrorism.

00:25:44.000 So how is the FBI not a terrorist organization?

00:25:47.000 And apparently they were involved with Proud Boys on January 6th, jinning them up and getting them going. 0.94

00:25:54.000 And these retards didn't cover their tracks. 1.00

00:25:59.000 So now we have after FBI agent caught lying on the stand and concealing evidence from defense attorneys.

00:26:07.000 Motion filed this morning from Nick Smith, attorney representing Ethan Nordin.

00:26:12.000 And Julie Kelly's fantastic, by the way. 0.99

00:26:15.000 She goes on to explain that these agents hid messages going back and forth to Proud Boys, where God knows how involved they were with this shit. 0.99

00:26:27.000 And they haven't covered their tracks. 0.99

00:26:30.000 Which brings us to Jump Medic.

00:26:34.000 Second sponsor of today's show, if you are going to take over the government, or go to a riot, or a biker rally, or any kind of road trip, you should have this Jump Medic pack.

00:26:45.000 We've got two packs.

00:26:46.000 There's a small pack, the black one, but this is the super deluxe pack, and if you've got a problem, something is going wrong, pull the tab here, and zoop!

00:26:57.000 Look at that, it all opens up beautifully.

00:26:59.000 Oh, sweet!

00:27:01.000 We've got sutures and bandages and disinfectants and glasses, stethoscopes, blankets, bandages.

00:27:10.000 This is everything you'd need for an emergency.

00:27:12.000 There's even this thing.

00:27:13.000 Oh, these are gloves.

00:27:15.000 Ready to rock.

00:27:18.000 It really is the kind of thing where if you don't have it you are kicking yourself for the rest of your life.

00:27:24.000 Especially in this day and age where the country seems to be falling apart and you'd want to have...

00:27:32.000 A backup plan. 0.90

00:27:33.000 So it's great that you have a generator, it's great that you have some food supplies, some extra water in case the shit hits the fan, but if someone gets cut or someone gets hurt, you're going to want to have this. 0.97

00:27:43.000 You buy it once, it's there forever. 0.96

00:27:46.000 You can buy replacements for it.

00:27:51.000 Where have I got it here?

00:27:53.000 We'll get to Purple Works in a second.

00:27:58.000 It's created by a paramedic who's a baby monster.

00:28:00.000 The premier product is the JumpMedic Pro, which I just showed you.

00:28:03.000 It comes in red or black.

00:28:05.000 It contains a world-class first aid bag.

00:28:07.000 So when you buy the JumpMedic, you get two things.

00:28:09.000 There's a large first aid kit and then a smaller first aid kit, which you can load with supplies and keep in your car or boat or RV.

00:28:15.000 The larger first aid bag comes stocked with nine pounds of first aid equipment.

00:28:20.000 Absolutely everything you would need in a first aid kit, from bandages,

00:28:24.000 To sutures, to medications, a flashlight, medical tape, blood pressure cuff, glucose meter, shears.

00:28:30.000 You really just have to see their website to see the list of everything this kit comes with.

00:28:33.000 It's quite extensive.

00:28:34.000 I didn't know this, but bikers always have medic kits with them.

00:28:38.000 Makes sense.

00:28:39.000 If there's a shootout or something.

00:28:41.000 So you should have it there.

00:28:41.000 You should have it for a hunting trip in case there's an accident.

00:28:45.000 If I ever respond to the text from the ad guy and give him my brother's address, I'm going to have one sent up there to my brother.

00:28:49.000 He's a hunter.

00:28:50.000 This is a fantastic kit for hunters, gun enthusiasts, police officers, nurses, paramedics, families, proud boys, model train enthusiasts, top G's, scrapbookers, Yelp reviewers, what?

00:29:00.000 Even Antifa members who are watching the show and paying $10 a month to be insulted by me.

00:29:05.000 Point being, this is a great product for absolutely everyone.

00:29:07.000 This is an awesome company that I like more than a friend.

00:29:10.000 Folks, it's the wild, wild west out there nowadays.

00:29:13.000 The wild, wild west.

00:29:14.000 Everything is dangerous.

00:29:15.000 If you don't have a first aid kit, you need to get one yesterday.

00:29:17.000 You don't want to be unprepared for a difficult situation.

00:29:20.000 Well, it is a very unfortunate situation.

00:29:23.000 Following through an old and out-of-date first aid kit, looking through expired medications, and asking yourself, does this do anything? 1.00

00:29:29.000 Shit. 0.99

00:29:30.000 Don't be caught bearing the brunt of a scenario you were unprepared for, like Ryan. 1.00

00:29:34.000 Especially if you're the type that goes to political rallies, you need to get this first aid kit.

00:29:38.000 Hey, let's get that Chinaman on the show today. 1.00

00:29:39.000 Oh yeah.

00:29:41.000 And Trump.

00:29:42.000 Oh yeah?

00:29:43.000 Both of the incredibly durable bags allow for flat access while in use, which you can see here.

00:29:50.000 Just do anything?

00:29:51.000 Which makes it quicker and easier to- that's a little late there.

00:29:54.000 Jump Medic also sells refills for these kits, which I mentioned.

00:29:58.000 You can get a refill subscription for $99 a year, and the ad man, just to bother me, has spelled it $99 sign.

00:30:07.000 Because he knows that puts me in a bad mood for the rest of the day.

00:30:11.000 I have a collection on my phone of maybe a hundred different people putting the dollar sign on the wrong side of the number.

00:30:17.000 Ooh, that's a hate crime right there, bro.

00:30:19.000 And it keeps getting worse and worse.

00:30:21.000 It's becoming the norm.

00:30:23.000 I'm only... I hate this fucking shit! 1.00

00:30:25.000 I'm only 99% sure that he did this to fuck with me. 1.00

00:30:29.000 Maybe he thinks that the dollar sign goes there. 0.99

00:30:32.000 Sometimes the complaints will be false.

00:30:34.000 Exposure, refill, medication refill, etc.

00:30:38.000 If you don't have a first aid kit in your home, or even if you do, this is a great product, possibly the most comprehensive first aid kit at this price that is currently on the market.

00:30:44.000 Go to jumpmedic.com, enter promo code RyanSucks, all one word, for 10% off.

00:30:51.000 If you would never dare to type out the words RyanSucks, promo code Gavin also works.

00:30:56.000 Oh, that's good.

00:30:57.000 It's not a joke.

00:30:59.000 Some people don't hate Ryan, and they might not want to type that.

00:31:03.000 I mean, look at him.

00:31:04.000 He's pimping.

00:31:05.000 You have two promo codes there.

00:31:09.000 I dropped this blanket in all the hullabaloo.

00:31:12.000 Little tiny thing, warms you right up once you unravel it.

00:31:16.000 Blanket boy! 0.98

00:31:17.000 All right, that was kind of heavy of an intro.

00:31:19.000 Let's have some fun here.

00:31:24.000 How about some, this new movie Ghosted that came out. 0.98

00:31:28.000 So, super hot chick, she's Cuban, actually Spanish, but her father was such a moron that he, and a socialist, that he moved from lovely Spain, probably Bartholona, to Cuba. 0.98

00:31:42.000 They're all running to get out there. 0.98

00:31:44.000 He moves to Cuba to support socialism. 1.00

00:31:47.000 So she has a miserable fucking life. 1.00

00:31:50.000 Her brother's an artist. 1.00

00:31:51.000 In Cuba now, this is a recent law, if you want to have an art show, you have to ask the government permission and they look at your art and decide whether you're allowed to have an art show.

00:32:00.000 That's Cuba.

00:32:01.000 That's socialism.

00:32:02.000 Way to go.

00:32:02.000 And by the way, all you flunky, Antifa, lefty types who love socialism, I'll be the last to go.

00:32:08.000 You'll be the first to go.

00:32:11.000 Bye bye!

00:32:12.000 Home to mommy!

00:32:14.000 Nobody... Dictators don't like artists.

00:32:17.000 They're not in the mood. 0.96

00:32:19.000 Especially homosexual artists. 0.96

00:32:21.000 What did Che Guevara do the second Cuba was liberated? 1.00

00:32:24.000 Started shooting gays in the head. 1.00

00:32:27.000 Don't like them. 1.00

00:32:28.000 He's also very racist. 0.96

00:32:29.000 He wasn't a fan of the Negro. 1.00

00:32:32.000 So she escapes Cuba, gets fucked by a bunch of Hollywood stars, blows her way to the top of Hollywood. 0.99

00:32:38.000 And now she's, I think, a 35-year-old spinster, no hope of ever getting married. 0.98

00:32:44.000 And she does action movies.

00:32:45.000 She's a 5'2", I believe.

00:32:49.000 And this is a guy, Chris Evans.

00:32:51.000 Now, Chris Evans, we've tried on his Captain America mask over at Beck's studio.

00:32:56.000 It's this big.

00:32:58.000 So he must be a midget too. 1.00

00:33:01.000 And I've heard tale that he's such a left-wing cuck that even the leftists in Hollywood, the chicks, can't stand him because getting rammed by a tiny penis who's crying because he's a male feminist doesn't turn on any chicks. 0.99

00:33:18.000 So I'm spending a long time to describe the personal lives of these two actors to say that this movie is even more ridiculous than it initially appears. 0.99

00:33:29.000 I was just wondering if you wanted to, um, you know, go out sometime.

00:33:32.000 You wanna get a coffee?

00:33:33.000 Now?

00:33:34.000 Yes, now.

00:33:39.000 I'll just hang on.

00:33:43.000 Dare they use Glaswegian performers or Scottish?

00:33:48.000 I mean, I know this sounds crazy, but I think she might be the one.

00:33:53.000 I think she likes me.

00:33:54.000 She really is great.

00:33:57.000 You'll see.

00:34:06.000 Get your logos in there!

00:34:07.000 Amy Sedaris!

00:34:11.000 Amy Sedaris, another spinster who let her eggs dry up. 0.77

00:34:16.000 She was in love with the Paul, what's his name?

00:34:19.000 Danello?

00:34:20.000 From Strangers with Candy and now The Colbert Show.

00:34:24.000 He dumped her at 32. 1.00

00:34:27.000 Now the world's greatest mom.

00:34:28.000 She would have been such a good mom.

00:34:30.000 Nothing.

00:34:34.000 This is gonna be a horror, isn't it?

00:34:35.000 Horror suspense.

00:34:36.000 It's already a horror.

00:34:39.000 See, you get it.

00:34:40.000 It's a grand romantic gesture.

00:34:42.000 Yeah, that is amazing, mate.

00:34:44.000 5,000 miles to surprise a girl you've only met once.

00:34:46.000 Especially if she's the one who ghosted ya. 0.98

00:34:51.000 No, no, she didn't ghost me.

00:34:52.000 She just doesn't have an international calling plan. 0.95

00:34:55.000 Oh, right.

00:35:06.000 In a cave?

00:35:08.000 You know how bad guys are with their caves?

00:35:11.000 In children's comic books?

00:35:16.000 Yeah, she's not your average gal, boys! 0.94

00:35:30.000 Look at that!

00:35:40.000 Oh my god!

00:35:41.000 You shouldn't have followed me here!

00:35:43.000 I am one of the world's most deadliest private eye mercenaries!

00:35:47.000 I'm James Bond!

00:35:49.000 I beat up all the bad guys with my roundhouse kicks!

00:35:57.000 I didn't know running was so masculine.

00:36:02.000 They're really good at driving school buses backwards over cliffs.

00:36:10.000 As men go... I'm scared! 1.00

00:36:18.000 You know what I want to do?

00:36:19.000 I want to sit with Nick DiPaolo and make... I want to strap him into a chair like the one Chris Evans was just strapped into and make him watch this movie.

00:36:27.000 Hold his eyelids open, Clockwork Orange style.

00:36:31.000 I can't do it anymore, Gavin. 1.00

00:36:33.000 My suspension of disbelief cannot handle Charlize Theron kicking the shit out of the nine Russian mobsters. 1.00

00:36:40.000 The hunter on the continent. 1.00

00:36:42.000 I want her. 1.00

00:36:44.000 Oh, Adrian Brody is a fuckin' foreign bad guy. 1.00

00:36:48.000 Wait, so she's American CIA? 1.00

00:36:54.000 With an accent?

00:36:55.000 We trust her?

00:36:55.000 Okay.

00:36:56.000 She's from Cuba. 0.99

00:36:56.000 I don't trust her. 0.99

00:36:59.000 Who the hell are you? 0.99

00:37:18.000 I'm the boyfriend. 0.99

00:37:23.000 Ew, Helvetica? 0.53

00:37:25.000 Gross, dude, more like.

00:37:29.000 If I heard that girl wanted to beat me up, I'd said, she's hated that movie review. 1.00

00:37:35.000 I would go, oh, that's weird.

00:37:37.000 Yeah.

00:37:38.000 She knows where your studio is in the Bronx.

00:37:40.000 Oh, okay. 1.00

00:37:41.000 She's going to come and kick the shit out of you. 1.00

00:37:44.000 All right. 1.00

00:37:46.000 Tell her, I guess we'll, we'll do it during lunch.

00:37:51.000 Can I bring a magazine during the beating?

00:37:57.000 In other news, actually, you know what?

00:38:00.000 That might bring us to feminism. 1.00

00:38:04.000 Yeah, I think that was a good segue into the subject known as feminism. 1.00

00:38:10.000 Who here identifies as a feminist? 1.00

00:38:12.000 We are the storm.

00:38:14.000 The very form of change that the world has been waiting for.

00:38:21.000 You said I was too pretty to fight.

00:38:26.000 That's toxic masculinity. 1.00

00:38:28.000 You don't realize how your behavior is hurtful.

00:38:34.000 So, we're in a bit of a pickle here, as a society.

00:38:38.000 And, uh, men... When I was young, men would go out and try to get laid.

00:38:44.000 They would eventually find someone they really liked fucking, and they got along with, and then they would marry her, and they would make babies. 1.00

00:38:50.000 I shit on the baby boomers all the time. 1.00

00:38:54.000 They did invent divorce. 1.00

00:38:55.000 But as far as the first part goes, they did have the balls to put a ring on it and start making babies. 1.00

00:39:01.000 Even when they were broke, they didn't say, I'm waiting to be able to afford a child. 0.83

00:39:06.000 No, we, us Gen Xers, we lived in a bassinet in the bedroom.

00:39:10.000 They had friends over on a Wednesday.

00:39:13.000 They were pretty cool in their early years.

00:39:15.000 Gen X, Gen X!

00:39:18.000 Didn't do as good of a job.

00:39:20.000 We were sort of traumatized by divorce.

00:39:24.000 So when I look up my old high school buddies on Facebook, when I use someone else's Facebook, because I'm banned, I see about 50% of them having kids.

00:39:32.000 I see none of them with six kids, but they usually have two and 50% of them have none, male and female.

00:39:41.000 And I think they were hurt by divorce.

00:39:44.000 So, uh, what's happening here?

00:39:47.000 So, um, then we, we cut to millennials and zoomers. 0.99

00:39:53.000 I'll lump them all together.

00:39:54.000 So the problem with millennials is they didn't see their big brothers get married and, uh, they don't feel like doing it either.

00:40:02.000 Having a baby is just not happening.

00:40:04.000 So they live in a state of perpetual adolescence.

00:40:07.000 And what the men do is they play video games. 1.00

00:40:10.000 They try to fuck some chicks, but the chicks started talking about rape and saying that they're doing it wrong. 1.00

00:40:17.000 And eventually, after people like Mattress Girl, destroying a man because he put it in the poop chute by accident, and she carried her on a mattress for several years, it was on the front page of New York Magazine, 0.99

00:40:29.000 A lot of guys either killed themselves or said, I'm just going to become an incel. 0.98

00:40:34.000 I'm just going to masturbate to porn and avoid women entirely. 1.00

00:40:38.000 It's not worth the headache. 0.99

00:40:39.000 And women weren't doing a very good job of making themselves appealing. 0.99

00:40:41.000 They were cutting their hair short. 0.98

00:40:42.000 We saw the intro, what feminists do to their bodies and how hideous they make themselves. 1.00

00:40:47.000 And then here's the other thing. 1.00

00:40:49.000 This birth control shit, these birth control pills, they make women repulsed by masculinity. 1.00

00:40:55.000 That's one of the ways that a woman doesn't get pregnant, she doesn't like penises. 1.00

00:40:59.000 So the only guys she's attracted to are total fucking pussies. 1.00

00:41:03.000 And of course we see the proof of this after they get married. 1.00

00:41:06.000 They stopped the hormones and they start becoming normal woman again, and they say their boyfriend smells different. 0.81

00:41:12.000 They smell like not your boyfriend.

00:41:15.000 Like our buddy Elle, what's her name, has a whole stand-up bit about that where she talks to the audience about who stopped taking birth control. 0.94

00:41:23.000 No, it wasn't Elle, it was that religious chick, I forget her name. 0.98

00:41:26.000 But they all start hooting and hollering in the audience talking about after they stopped taking birth control, they dumped their boyfriend because they weren't attracted to him.

00:41:32.000 So anyway, that's what guys have to face.

00:41:35.000 And then women have this like, where'd all the guys go?

00:41:38.000 I can't tell you how many like old, I don't have a lot of female friends, but occasionally we'll get to talking like a barmaid or something and they're like, why didn't that guy hit on me? 0.99

00:41:47.000 Doesn't this guy want to fuck me? 0.92

00:41:48.000 And you're talking like what I would consider a late 7, 7.8, 7.9. 1.00

00:41:52.000 And they're just like, where's the male libido? 0.51

00:41:55.000 And I go, it's in a sock. 0.91

00:41:58.000 After checking out RedTube.

00:42:01.000 Anyway, I want to green screen this video of a woman basically saying what I just said, and because women are agreeable and the glass is always half full with them, they managed to take this apocalyptic end of civilization and say, things are going great! 0.99

00:42:18.000 Let's check it out.

00:42:35.000 You're about to hear bad news in a positive way, which is why women make great moms. 1.00

00:42:41.000 Because they can take a shitty situation, a little crying kid, and make him feel good. 0.97

00:42:44.000 We're not good at that, us men.

00:42:46.000 And a child needs both. 0.96

00:42:49.000 As I've said many times, I overheard a child who shat his pants.

00:42:52.000 I was with him at the airport.

00:42:53.000 He's in the stall next to mine.

00:42:55.000 The dad was furious at the kid. 1.00

00:42:57.000 You shit your pants? 1.00

00:42:58.000 What's the matter with you? 1.00

00:42:59.000 Cleaning shit off his legs. 1.00

00:43:01.000 And then the kid went, I was almost going to intervene because the guy was being really mean. 0.99

00:43:06.000 And then the kid goes out and is hugging his mom and his mom's like, it's okay.

00:43:10.000 They were both right. 0.98

00:43:12.000 You shouldn't shit your pants. 1.00

00:43:14.000 You should be able to control your own fucking bowels. 1.00

00:43:16.000 You shouldn't have your father wiping shit off your legs, you moron. 1.00

00:43:20.000 At the same time, shit literally happens. 1.00

00:43:24.000 I almost shit my pants today. 1.00

00:43:25.000 Sometimes you shit your pants. 1.00

00:43:27.000 And it sucks. 1.00

00:43:29.000 So, mom should be there to make you feel better about the fact that you shit your pants. 1.00

00:43:33.000 And dad should be there to say, don't shit your pants. 0.99

00:43:37.000 And then as you grow up as an adult, you like, you feel a fart and you're like, uh oh, that made it to the undies. 1.00

00:43:43.000 And you run to the bathroom and then you're like, Gavin, get your shit together, you fucking loser. 1.00

00:43:49.000 But also, don't beat yourself up too much. 1.00

00:43:53.000 It's called a well-rounded individual.

00:43:55.000 Anyway, this woman probably had two parents, because she seems very well-rounded, but a little too well-rounded, because she's turning the end of the world into a good thing. 0.99

00:44:04.000 There's never been a better time to be a single, straight woman.

00:44:07.000 Well, it depends what age, my dear, especially in New York City.

00:44:10.000 In New York City, if you're 30-year-old, and no 29-year-olds want to get married, because they're too young.

00:44:18.000 In other words, this city is an elephant's graveyard for ovaries. 0.73

00:44:22.000 Ladies, don't come here. 1.00

00:44:23.000 You want to get married?

00:44:25.000 Move to Kansas.

00:44:26.000 I think there has never been a better time to be a single woman in the dating space seriously looking for a partner than ever before.

00:44:34.000 And I want to talk about it.

00:44:35.000 If you don't know me, my name is Simone.

00:44:36.000 I'm a professional matchmaker with almost six years of experience. 0.99

00:44:39.000 See, six years for a young single woman is a fucking lifetime. 1.00

00:44:45.000 26 is very young, and if you get married at that age, you're probably gonna have five beautiful kids, and you'll die a very happy old lady. 0.99

00:44:54.000 Six years later, you're 32.

00:44:57.000 Everything's over.

00:44:58.000 You might squeeze one out. 0.61

00:45:00.000 It'll probably be autistic. 1.00

00:45:02.000 Boots on the ground on how single people are thinking, how they're feeling, and how they're dating.

00:45:06.000 I also work almost exclusively with men, so I have real insight into how modern men are thinking about dating and approaching dating dynamics.

00:45:12.000 But let's get into it.

00:45:13.000 Wait, stop.

00:45:14.000 Is she a therapist for men?

00:45:16.000 Hi, I want to date, so you pay her? 1.00

00:45:20.000 Meanwhile, they all just want to fuck her. 1.00

00:45:21.000 They all want a deep-throated apology from her. 1.00

00:45:24.000 More single men in America looking for partnerships than women.

00:45:28.000 That's bad.

00:45:31.000 Why are there more single men than women? 0.98

00:45:33.000 Am I dumb? 0.78

00:45:34.000 Aren't there like 60% of the population or 55% is female? 0.96

00:45:38.000 Who are all these women dating? 1.00

00:45:40.000 Are they in polygamous relationships? 0.97

00:45:42.000 Are they sister wives? 0.99

00:45:49.000 There are more single men looking.

00:45:51.000 Oh, I see.

00:45:52.000 I get what's going on.

00:45:53.000 So this is catastrophic because these career gals are like, I don't want a relationship. 1.00

00:45:58.000 I'm just focused on my career right now. 1.00

00:46:01.000 Ladies, you're not a boss bitch. 1.00

00:46:04.000 That's cringe, as our hot blonde friend pointed out. 1.00

00:46:08.000 Stop it with your career.

00:46:10.000 If you're an oncologist, you might have an argument.

00:46:13.000 I don't know what you do.

00:46:13.000 You're never doing that.

00:46:14.000 You're doing marketing. 1.00

00:46:16.000 You're doing bullshit we don't need. 1.00

00:46:18.000 You're doing retail therapy. 1.00

00:46:20.000 You're doing things that moms do. 0.99

00:46:22.000 You're a real estate agent?

00:46:23.000 Okay.

00:46:24.000 When you go to someone's house and the woman takes you on a tour and shows you the new kitchen they just did?

00:46:28.000 That's a real estate agent.

00:46:29.000 You're just being a mom. 1.00

00:46:31.000 Oh, you organize your boss's appointments?

00:46:33.000 That's what moms do. 1.00

00:46:34.000 They organize shit all day. 1.00

00:46:36.000 Yesterday my wife went into the city for a class she's taking and it was absolute chaos. 0.99

00:46:41.000 I had to take work off and go drive this kid there and then I had to drop him off at a babysitter and do 50 things.

00:46:47.000 She was only gone for like five hours and it was the apocalypse.

00:46:51.000 She's needed at home.

00:46:52.000 What does that say?

00:46:55.000 More than one in ten Millennials would consider becoming a sugar baby when desperate for some quick cash and men are like, oh so maybe they're just mistresses of old rich guys.

00:47:04.000 That's great. 1.00

00:47:05.000 You're a whore. 1.00

00:47:06.000 A lot of single guys out there since whoredom became cool. 1.00

00:47:12.000 I'm not a sex worker. 0.79

00:47:13.000 I'm a sugar baby.

00:47:16.000 This is a screenshot from an article in August that really made waves about how there are increasing numbers of men that are single and unhappily so, meaning that they are desirous of looking for long-term relationships and struggling to do so.

00:47:27.000 So this is her saying, there's lots of lonely men out there is awesome.

00:47:32.000 Cause you'll have your pick of the tribe.

00:47:35.000 The grass is always greener.

00:47:36.000 There's always a silver lining with this woman.

00:47:39.000 Stop. 1.00

00:47:39.000 So there's a massive wave of men committing suicide in this country, especially white men for some reason, probably because they're told they suck from kindergarten on. 1.00

00:47:45.000 My youngest boy is doing a school project for Women's History Month. 0.99

00:47:49.000 I didn't know it was a month, I thought it was a day.

00:48:09.000 And he's got that chick who was the first black girl to go to school. 1.00

00:48:11.000 And I'm like, I don't know, man.

00:48:14.000 All that girl did was go to school. 1.00

00:48:16.000 She became a civil rights activist, but it was all the people that got her into school and defended her that are the real heroes in that story.

00:48:24.000 I guess she became a civil rights activist after.

00:48:26.000 That's great, I guess.

00:48:27.000 I go, what about the Indian who showed Lewis and Clark how to explore the West without dying?

00:48:33.000 She sounds pretty cool.

00:48:35.000 So we're currently working on that.

00:48:37.000 But, um, this woman thinks that men being lonely and suicidal is awesome.

00:48:44.000 Lonely men is good because you can, you have more men to choose from because they want you so bad.

00:48:49.000 And then the fact that they're so depressed, they have to go to a doctor to prevent suicide is good because men who go to therapy are better?

00:49:00.000 What?

00:49:01.000 They've been therapized?

00:49:03.000 No.

00:49:05.000 100% more likely to go to therapy than they were 10 years ago.

00:49:07.000 And that number is steadily increasing.

00:49:09.000 It's great.

00:49:09.000 Therapy is great.

00:49:10.000 By the way, Howard Stern goes every day and he's gone from a nervous Nelly in the eighties who had trouble talking to people to a man who has not left his home in three years.

00:49:22.000 So it looks to me like therapy makes things a whole lot worse.

00:49:30.000 and intuitive partners, men that are more communicative and have more emotional regulation tools.

00:49:35.000 That's why they're in therapy, because they don't have those tools, because you took them away.

00:49:41.000 Trying to improve their mental health and emotional quotient.

00:49:45.000 They're trying not to die.

00:49:46.000 There are more women with college degrees that are entering the labor force. 1.00

00:49:49.000 This is terrible.

00:49:51.000 Women have agency over their lives. 1.00

00:49:53.000 Okay, stop.

00:49:53.000 You know why there's more women with education?

00:49:56.000 Because education has gone gay. 0.99

00:49:58.000 And it's super easy to get a degree now.

00:50:01.000 If you have 250 grand, you can barely show up for work and you'll get a degree in speech pathology.

00:50:07.000 And then you can go out there into the labor force and make $40,000 a year trying to pay off your $250,000 forever.

00:50:13.000 The quality of secondary education in this country is at an all-time low.

00:50:17.000 It's never been worse in history. 0.99

00:50:20.000 And we did that because, unfortunately, capitalism said, we can dilute our brand a bit here and make a lot of money by making college degrees fucking useless garbage. 1.00

00:50:32.000 So, women got them. 1.00

00:50:33.000 And then, women have brainwashed themselves into thinking, I'm a speech pathologist. 1.00

00:50:37.000 I'm kicking ass, taking names, and saving the world. 1.00

00:50:40.000 Yay for me! 0.99

00:50:41.000 No.

00:50:41.000 You want to impress us?

00:50:46.000 Create and shape human life. 1.00

00:50:48.000 That's a little more impressive than your stupid degree. 1.00

00:50:51.000 So, women don't need men anymore, she's saying. 1.00

00:51:02.000 And that's good because women are empowered. 1.00

00:51:04.000 But wait, there's a bunch of lonely dudes that want to help them.

00:51:06.000 That's good too!

00:51:08.000 Because now women have more men to choose from. 1.00

00:51:10.000 All of these things are good. 0.94

00:51:13.000 You would make a great mom because you can make even someone shitting their pants seem awesome. 0.98

00:51:19.000 ...women have access to and are deciding to freeze their eggs. 1.00

00:51:23.000 Yeah!

00:51:24.000 It's so exciting because this is leveling the playing field... That's exciting!

00:51:27.000 ...in the dating dynamics between straight men and women who want to eventually have families.

00:51:31.000 Women no longer have to rush to make hasty decisions in their 30s if they want to have a family. 0.99

00:51:36.000 They no longer have to be forced to... Whoa!

00:51:38.000 So, wow, so you freeze your eggs in your 30s and when do you have a kid?

00:51:42.000 In your 40s?

00:51:44.000 That's no fun.

00:51:45.000 Look, I'm an old parent.

00:51:47.000 It's one of the reasons I tell people to get a ring on it and get moving.

00:51:50.000 It's not easy getting no sleep in your 40s.

00:51:54.000 In your 20s, I remember getting hangovers.

00:51:57.000 I'd drink all night.

00:51:58.000 I'd go to work having not slept a wink.

00:52:01.000 And my hangover would start around lunch.

00:52:02.000 It would be done in an hour.

00:52:04.000 That's the kind of body God made for babies. 0.99

00:52:08.000 The 40, 50 year old man, we're tired.

00:52:11.000 We just want to watch Death Wish when we come home from work in our home bar. 0.99

00:52:17.000 We're useless parents. 0.98

00:52:19.000 So ladies, and here's another thing too, you're freezing your eggs. 1.00

00:52:23.000 Your maternal instinct is still there.

00:52:26.000 This is all based on the assumption that there's no yearning for babies. 0.99

00:52:31.000 And I'm telling you, I've said this 1,000 times, almost every female parent I know, especially ones that I sort of grew up with, we'll look at each other while our kids are running around the house and we'll go, what the fuck were we waiting for? 0.99

00:52:43.000 Why did we wait so fucking long? 0.98

00:52:46.000 I managed to eke out three. 0.96

00:52:47.000 Amongst my peers, I'm basically an Irish Catholic.

00:52:51.000 Well, I guess I am an Irish Catholic.

00:52:53.000 I have the equivalent of 12 kids in my house. 1.00

00:52:55.000 And I look at my three kids and I go, fuck you, me. 1.00

00:52:59.000 Why couldn't you have done five, you loser? 1.00

00:53:02.000 And now that ship has sailed. 0.99

00:53:04.000 And my kids are gone soon.

00:53:06.000 I got one little one left.

00:53:07.000 The others are teens.

00:53:09.000 Teenagers just use your house as a hotel. 0.96

00:53:11.000 They don't care. 1.00

00:53:13.000 So, I fucked up. 1.00

00:53:14.000 And I don't want you to listen to bitches like this and make the same mistakes. 1.00

00:53:20.000 What career? 1.00

00:53:23.000 Like, running a dating site?

00:53:27.000 Helping men find women? 0.97

00:53:28.000 That's the only good thing about this pathetic existence that young people have today and their total inability to hook up is you get people like her who can try to help them. 0.99

00:53:37.000 We've created an industry. 0.90

00:53:39.000 See?

00:53:39.000 It's catching on.

00:53:41.000 I can be positive too.

00:53:43.000 allows them to take their time to seriously vet whether or not they want to have a family with a potential partner without running out of time.

00:53:52.000 Biological clock is a bad thing, according to this woman. 0.96

00:53:56.000 You shouldn't... What about youth?

00:53:58.000 Should that even be a thing?

00:53:59.000 You can get plastic surgery.

00:54:01.000 Why not be a teenager when you're 45?

00:54:03.000 Freezing their eggs.

00:54:07.000 50% increase in women freezing their eggs in 2019.

00:54:12.000 So exciting.

00:54:13.000 So yeah, these are just a few happy trends that I'm noticing that I think are really exciting.

00:54:17.000 So if you're ingesting a lot of negative content that feels disheartening about the dating scene right now, I just want to offer some important counterpoints.

00:54:24.000 I'd say otherwise.

00:54:30.000 Wow, it's so meta.

00:54:32.000 With that attitude, she'd be a great mom. 0.99

00:54:35.000 Instead, she sits there looking at the death of moms and smiling through it going, that's a good thing. 0.97

00:54:42.000 She should be looking at a shitty drawing going, that's a good drawing of a horse. 1.00

00:54:45.000 Instead, she's watching the world end and going, that's a good drawing of the apocalypse. 1.00

00:54:51.000 She's going to be old and lonely and so will you if you listen to bullshit like that. 0.99

00:55:08.000 Final sponsor today... Nice catch, McInnes. 1.00

00:55:10.000 Purple Works pre-workout.

00:55:11.000 I'm addicted to it now. 1.00

00:55:12.000 My wife's addicted to what the dick did after I had it. 1.00

00:55:15.000 Oh! 1.00

00:55:15.000 Uh... 1.00

00:55:32.000 Take it easy.

00:55:33.000 I'm 53 years old.

00:55:35.000 You're probably different to me.

00:55:36.000 You probably work out longer.

00:55:37.000 When it's weights day, I do half an hour.

00:55:39.000 When it's boxing, I'll do like an hour.

00:55:42.000 But I don't do a scoop.

00:55:45.000 I do about a third of a scoop.

00:55:50.000 Within minutes, I get these, I told you, I get these prickles in my hands.

00:55:54.000 My hands and feet feel prickly, and now I'm excited because it means it's time to work out.

00:56:02.000 Taking this and not working out, I would imagine would be very bad.

00:56:07.000 And you'd be sketched out all day from the caffeine.

00:56:10.000 But I take it, I go work out, and the other day we had this crazy workout, it was like,

00:56:15.000 The bicycle, just legs.

00:56:17.000 The bicycle, just arms.

00:56:18.000 You know, one of those bikes with arms.

00:56:20.000 And then all three for 45 seconds.

00:56:24.000 And then, what was it?

00:56:29.000 Two 25-pound weights.

00:56:31.000 This for 45 seconds.

00:56:33.000 This for 45 seconds.

00:56:34.000 This for 45 seconds.

00:56:35.000 I'm still feeling it, actually, right here.

00:56:37.000 Too much.

00:56:38.000 You think?

00:56:39.000 Slow down.

00:56:40.000 Too much.

00:56:41.000 Well the great thing is I compete with the gym owner and he's always like, did Gavin do this?

00:56:45.000 And I don't tell him that I was on Purple Works.

00:56:48.000 Oh, it's like a little secret.

00:56:49.000 So we're both murdering ourselves to compete with each other.

00:56:53.000 And getting ripped in the process.

00:56:54.000 Do you work out there, Billy Wong?

00:56:57.000 Oh yeah, like a little.

00:57:00.000 Like a yoga pose.

00:57:03.000 Yoga's great, but it's just stretching.

00:57:05.000 Like a lift weight.

00:57:07.000 I don't know.

00:57:23.000 Then standing up and doing that thing.

00:57:25.000 Everything is 45 seconds each.

00:57:27.000 And then, um, there was, I think, push-ups for 45 seconds.

00:57:31.000 And then at the end it was a reverse, what do you call it, pull?

00:57:34.000 And then, what are these called again?

00:57:37.000 What?

00:57:38.000 What do you have in your hand?

00:57:39.000 A bar.

00:57:40.000 Oh, yeah, that's for the shoulders.

00:57:44.000 It's like a pull-up?

00:57:45.000 Or not a pull-up.

00:57:45.000 It's a... I forget what you call it.

00:57:47.000 Fuck. 0.99

00:57:48.000 Thanks for helping out. 1.00

00:57:49.000 And then there's this one.

00:57:51.000 I forget what they're called.

00:57:52.000 45 seconds.

00:57:53.000 And we'd used up the half hour.

00:57:55.000 And the owner of the gym had come in and started my old, what I just told you, with the bike.

00:57:59.000 And I was like, no, no, I don't want to leave.

00:58:00.000 Can I stay and finish it?

00:58:02.000 He's like, okay, you're free to go, but then I did the shoop and the shoop.

00:58:07.000 So there was 45 seconds of these, 45 seconds of these, and then 45 seconds of this.

00:58:12.000 It's killing me, what the hell?

00:58:14.000 And it was the purple works.

00:58:16.000 I just plowed right through it.

00:58:17.000 And the funny thing too is like, I said, if you take it and you don't work out, you feel kind of sketchy.

00:58:22.000 When you do work out, it's like you used up the purple works and now there's no sketchiness anymore.

00:58:29.000 You used all the sketchiness went into the workout.

00:58:31.000 And your hands don't feel prickly anymore either.

00:58:33.000 That's like a high pull.

00:58:35.000 Nope.

00:58:37.000 Does it look like this?

00:58:40.000 No.

00:58:41.000 It's just normal weights, dude.

00:58:43.000 Yeah, like this.

00:58:43.000 You go... Maybe it wasn't reversed like that.

00:58:48.000 Maybe it was normal.

00:58:49.000 What is this called?

00:58:50.000 That's a curl.

00:58:52.000 Oh yeah, curl. 1.00

00:58:53.000 And then what's this called?

00:58:54.000 A press?

00:58:54.000 Let me see you.

00:58:57.000 You bring them up like that?

00:58:59.000 Well, yeah.

00:59:01.000 Maybe it was this?

00:59:01.000 You probably, yeah, there you go.

00:59:03.000 That's what you probably do.

00:59:04.000 I mean, you could also do this.

00:59:07.000 You do this and then put them up.

00:59:10.000 No, it's a bar.

00:59:12.000 How am I twisting my wrists in the middle of it?

00:59:14.000 Oh, so then you probably did it pronated.

00:59:16.000 I told you it was a bar.

00:59:18.000 You said regular weights.

00:59:19.000 Plural.

00:59:20.000 No, I didn't.

00:59:21.000 And when I showed you this and you said no, dude.

00:59:25.000 Yeah, well, I guess it was that.

00:59:27.000 Yeah.

00:59:28.000 So high pull and then a press. 0.96

00:59:33.000 Let's talk to the trainer. 0.56

00:59:36.000 See if he's there.

00:59:37.000 Little does he know he's in a commercial.

00:59:39.000 Barbell Hypo.

00:59:41.000 I've never called him before.

00:59:42.000 In a press.

00:59:44.000 Hello?

00:59:44.000 This is a first.

00:59:48.000 What if he starts yelling at you?

00:59:50.000 Get down, give me 20! 0.97

00:59:50.000 What if he just went, hello, what can I do for you? 0.97

00:59:54.000 Your call has been forwarded to a... He's probably, come in.

00:59:58.000 I'll text him a...

01:00:01.000 Would you like to text his email?

01:00:02.000 No, his number.

01:00:03.000 Thanks for the options.

01:00:05.000 What was that last exercise with the bar?

01:00:13.000 Anyway, sorry.

01:00:15.000 I bet I covered everything here, right?

01:00:19.000 No.

01:00:19.000 Purpleworks.

01:00:20.000 Purpleworks?

01:00:20.000 No, I don't think you even covered the half of it.

01:00:22.000 It's a pre-workout.

01:00:23.000 It enhances your strength, energy, and focus to get you ready for even the most strenuous workouts.

01:00:27.000 Some other nefarious pre-workouts on the market have 700 billion and a trillion, 300 million, billion, million ingredients.

01:00:33.000 Not Purpleworks. 0.99

01:00:35.000 No artificial dyes, no sweeteners.

01:00:37.000 It's simply an expertly crafted blend of high-quality creatine, caffeine, carnosine, beta-alanine, vitamin D and C, green tea extract, and not much more than that.

01:00:48.000 Um, before I used Purpleworks, I felt ugly, I felt gay, but look at me now.

01:00:53.000 I felt ugly, I felt gay. 0.99

01:00:54.000 The packaging says it's something like 30 servings, but in fact, you can easily double that. 0.73

01:00:58.000 It's probably a good two months or more. 0.99

01:01:03.000 If you're a female cop who needs a boost when you're failing to cuff a large man, or if you're a male who has big fucking tits, you need to go to purpleworksnutrition.com right away. 1.00

01:01:12.000 They also have a shaker for sale, I use that too, for a great price, just under $10 if you use promo code GAVIN. 0.98

01:01:22.000 Uh, finally the ad guy wants me to read this.

01:01:25.000 You ready?

01:01:26.000 Some people say, hey Gavin, isn't purple a gay color?

01:01:29.000 And to that I say, that's not true.

01:01:30.000 It doesn't say that. 1.00

01:01:31.000 You're a liar. 0.98

01:01:32.000 Purple is a regal color that represents rarity, royalty, knowledge, and quality. 0.98

01:01:36.000 Purple was the favorite color of Prince, who was basically royalty. 0.99

01:01:40.000 And you'd have to be ridiculously stupid to ever think that Prince was gay. 1.00

01:01:43.000 That means you're gay. 1.00

01:01:45.000 The founder of Purpleworks is a longtime paramedic and baby monster with a great sense of humor. 0.99

01:01:50.000 I'm rooting for his company and I'm happy.

01:01:53.000 I've been happy using his products.

01:01:55.000 Good spelling and grammar in an ad.

01:01:59.000 Is baby monster capitalized?

01:02:02.000 I don't know, but all I know is we have to go to court.

01:02:06.000 Why?

01:02:06.000 Um... I have bad news.

01:02:08.000 There's a... There's a K-pop band called Baby Monster.

01:02:13.000 Oh, great.

01:02:13.000 The last evaluation.

01:02:16.000 Or is this a show? 0.99

01:02:16.000 What the fuck is this? 0.99

01:02:21.000 Maybe that's our fans. 0.99

01:02:24.000 Don't assume that this isn't us.

01:02:26.000 That's Jungle Asian right there. 1.00

01:02:29.000 I didn't hear Annyeonghaseyo Gavin or Annyeonghaseyo Ryan.

01:02:33.000 Yeah, they want to say they're not fans.

01:02:36.000 They're just people who support the show. 0.99

01:02:38.000 What the fuck is going on with him? 0.99

01:02:41.000 Is that the choreographer? 1.00

01:02:45.000 I didn't hear Ryan Pego Pajucata.

01:02:47.000 Right? 0.99

01:02:47.000 Because they're not our bitches. 0.99

01:02:50.000 They're their own thing. 0.99

01:02:51.000 But they are.

01:02:52.000 But they didn't mention the bird which is the bald eagle?

01:02:54.000 Yes they did.

01:02:55.000 They said it in Korean.

01:02:57.000 We like hip.

01:03:02.000 This is the last evaluation. 1.00

01:03:12.000 You could fuck that guy and it would be totally straight. 1.00

01:03:15.000 Nobody would say you're a fag. 1.00

01:03:18.000 Alright, we're running out of time here. 0.99

01:03:19.000 I don't recommend that, by the way.

01:03:23.000 You don't recommend what? 1.00

01:03:24.000 Fucking that guy. 1.00

01:03:25.000 I'm just saying you could. 1.00

01:03:27.000 You don't recommend fucking that guy? 0.99

01:03:28.000 No. 0.99

01:03:28.000 Why not? 0.99

01:03:29.000 Because I don't think it would be consensual because Koreans have different laws. 1.00

01:03:34.000 Okay.

01:03:36.000 It's true.

01:03:37.000 Let's jump to racism just a little bit before we go.

01:03:40.000 I did a massive racist marathon where I caught up on 111 stories and I stuck it in one.

01:03:47.000 How long is that episode?

01:03:50.000 Oh my god, probably like three and a half or four and a half hours, I forget.

01:03:52.000 I thought it was more like eight.

01:03:55.000 Two, four, six... It could be anywhere from four to six, but I don't think it goes to eight.

01:04:01.000 Okay.

01:04:03.000 Small racism, small bumper.

01:04:05.000 Let's talk about racism.

01:04:09.000 That was racist, guys.

01:04:13.000 Remember that one?

01:04:14.000 Here is a lady who could not take it anymore. 1.00

01:04:18.000 No, here is a lady who just spontaneously has decided to shit on white people at her school and make everyone feel uncomfortable because she's black, very black, and everyone else sucks. 1.00

01:04:35.000 Service announcement! 1.00

01:04:36.000 Okay, I'm in.

01:04:37.000 Excuse me!

01:04:39.000 If y'all didn't know, this is the MSC, and frankly, there's just too many white people in here, and this is a space for people of color.

01:04:46.000 So just be really cognizant of the space that you're taking up, because it does make some of us POCs uncomfortable when we see too many white people in here.

01:04:54.000 It's only been open for four days, and frankly, there's the whole university for a lot of y'all to be at, and there's very few spaces for us.

01:05:01.000 So keep that in mind.

01:05:03.000 Thank you. 1.00

01:05:08.000 She proceeds to sit on her ass and do nothing. 1.00

01:05:11.000 Now wouldn't it be funny if they really push that? 1.00

01:05:14.000 So this is self-segregation of course.

01:05:16.000 I don't understand why you need this space.

01:05:18.000 The implication is that when black people, Indians, gays, whatever, I don't know if gays are of color these days, they're definitely rainbow inclined, that when they walk through campus people are like, well, well, well, looky here. 0.96

01:05:34.000 Some negro thinks she's gonna read a book, boys! 1.00

01:05:37.000 Hey, guys! 0.98

01:05:38.000 We got a black scholar over here! 1.00

01:05:40.000 And she's like, guys, just fuck off, please. 1.00

01:05:43.000 And then she finally gets a space where there's no tough guys going, well, well. 1.00

01:05:48.000 Which is... retarded. 1.00

01:05:51.000 I'm calling this show Special Needs. 0.94

01:05:55.000 That is beyond movie. 1.00

01:05:58.000 If that was in a movie, you'd go, this movie's stupid. 1.00

01:06:00.000 I'm not watching this. 1.00

01:06:01.000 This is dumb. 0.98

01:06:02.000 Things that never ever happen for 500 Alex? 0.98

01:06:06.000 Dairy double.

01:06:10.000 Yeah.

01:06:11.000 Or not. 0.71

01:06:15.000 Like, you're in a shitty, you're in The Wild Ones, basically. 0.88

01:06:19.000 With Marlon Brando. 0.95

01:06:20.000 Who I named my son after, by the way, Johnny.

01:06:23.000 Um, you're in like a cheesy 1950 black and white movie.

01:06:28.000 That's not what your campus is like. 0.99

01:06:29.000 In fact, you're probably at that campus because you're black. 0.96

01:06:33.000 You're probably a recipient of affirmative action.

01:06:36.000 But anyway, it would be cool if they kept pushing that.

01:06:38.000 Yeah, they're there.

01:06:39.000 Hey! 0.99

01:06:56.000 What are you doing at this university, you black person? 1.00

01:07:02.000 I'm not in the mood for you. 1.00

01:07:03.000 You should be in your own space.

01:07:06.000 I'm gonna play some screwdriver on the jukebox just to make you feel uncomfortable.

01:07:19.000 He's playing jazz because he's a rebel and it makes people uncomfortable.

01:07:23.000 We're still using African-American culture to make our fellow whites uncomfortable. 1.00

01:07:27.000 That's why N.W.A.

01:07:28.000 was so popular, by the way. 0.58

01:07:29.000 That was white people trying to freak out their fellow white people.

01:07:33.000 Mostly their parents. 1.00

01:07:34.000 Most of American leftist culture is, fuck you, dad. 1.00

01:07:38.000 Including this movie. 1.00

01:07:39.000 This movie started it, actually.

01:07:41.000 This and Rebel Without a Cause started cool.

01:07:43.000 And a big part of cool is like, I'm down with the Negro and you're not. 1.00

01:07:47.000 You know what's crazy is counterculture would be niggas without attitude right now. 1.00

01:07:52.000 Like, hello, how are you? 0.94

01:07:53.000 Everything's fine.

01:07:54.000 Yeah, well that's black conservatives. 0.98

01:07:57.000 Or niggas without anime. 1.00

01:07:59.000 That would be really something.

01:08:08.000 Taking the thing off the front?

01:08:08.000 What are you doing there?

01:08:11.000 That's called the arm breaker because it would so often spin out of control and snap your arm.

01:08:15.000 A buddy of mine just bought one of those Model T Fords.

01:08:18.000 He's got it for like seven grand.

01:08:19.000 He's going to fix it up.

01:08:20.000 You know what they're worth in the market?

01:08:24.000 Yes.

01:08:24.000 $2,000.

01:08:25.000 No, that's fucking retarded. 1.00

01:08:27.000 No, it's not. 1.00

01:08:29.000 $14,000. 0.99

01:08:29.000 So he's going to bust his ass, put in another $3,000, and make $4,000. 0.99

01:08:34.000 Did I see that the other day at his shop? 0.99

01:08:36.000 Yeah.

01:08:37.000 Wow. 0.98

01:08:38.000 It looks cool as shit. 0.99

01:08:39.000 It's not a good investment. 0.99

01:08:40.000 You'd think you'd want one.

01:08:41.000 Whatever.

01:08:43.000 You know that that that rare car insurance I tried to get it for the Jag you have to only drive it like ten times a year Like the Jay Leno insurance or something.

01:08:53.000 Yeah Anyway, so they make it that their space and then there's a so whites go Okay, we're gonna have a whites only space and then within five years. 0.99

01:09:01.000 It's like South Africa and the blacks only space is fucking destroyed. 1.00

01:09:05.000 Oh 1.00

01:09:07.000 Furniture's falling apart, and the whites-only space is like Wakanda. 0.99

01:09:10.000 And then the blacks get mad that they're not invited to the whites-only space, and they call it apartheid. 0.63

01:09:14.000 And then they have a mini-space inside that space. 0.92

01:09:17.000 Oh, wow. 1.00

01:09:18.000 Yeah, they get one section, and then they slowly take it over, and then it turns to shit, too. 0.99

01:09:22.000 And then they complain, like, they forced us here. 0.99

01:09:25.000 We didn't want to come here.

01:09:27.000 This space landed on us.

01:09:30.000 Whatever.

01:09:32.000 I thought this was funny.

01:09:33.000 Jack Posobiec sent this to me today.

01:09:35.000 Jared Holt was just called out by Glenn Greenwald. 0.99

01:09:38.000 Again, the theme of this show is like all of these mainstream people going, oh, fuck, I was wrong. 0.98

01:09:44.000 Yeah, Gavin was there before any of you. 0.99

01:09:47.000 Like I was attacking Jared Holt years ago, screaming at him that he looks like a glass of water with one drop of milk in it.

01:09:56.000 I go, you're nothing.

01:09:57.000 All you do is acquiesce. 1.00

01:09:59.000 And the Jared Holt's of the world, the Christopher Mattias, the fucking, uh, 0.99

01:10:04.000 Will Summers, these hate watch clowns, they've devoted their lives to combing through the behavior of the white right and trying to find examples of them being prejudiced, bigoted. 0.99

01:10:15.000 Now, no one told them that this group is the least racist group in the world. 0.97

01:10:19.000 We're all based on meritocracy. 0.92

01:10:21.000 The best guy for the job is a blind black Chinese guy. 0.99

01:10:24.000 Then get him in there. 1.00

01:10:26.000 If a blind black Chinese guy sucks, but it's good for your quotas, well, then fuck my quotas. 1.00

01:10:31.000 I don't want him here. 1.00

01:10:31.000 He's not good at it. 1.00

01:10:33.000 So when someone is based on meritocracy, when they're sort of a libertarian conservative who wants good borders, you're not going to find a ton of racism.

01:10:41.000 But because, I don't know, secular Jews told them that this has to be done to prevent World War Three, they think they're preventing the Fourth Reich and a new wave of Nazis. 0.80

01:10:53.000 Now, if you want to find racism, you should look everywhere but white males.

01:10:59.000 White male conservatives are the least racist people in the world. 0.99

01:11:02.000 You want to find racism, check in with Asians, check in with blacks. 1.00

01:11:07.000 Especially anti-Semitism. 0.55

01:11:10.000 Check in with basically every other group. 0.99

01:11:12.000 Students, for fuck's sakes. 0.99

01:11:15.000 Students of color. 1.00

01:11:16.000 We just saw examples of them being racist.

01:11:19.000 So these guys are, they're basically the equivalent of Ghostbusters. 1.00

01:11:24.000 You know these morons that would go from, oh there he is. 1.00

01:11:28.000 That's Will Sommer. 1.00

01:11:30.000 That's Zachary Pizzoletto or whatever standing in front of Will Summer like you're gonna protect him? 1.00

01:11:52.000 Fucking horrible weak losers. 1.00

01:11:55.000 Look at these shitty human beings. 1.00

01:11:58.000 Their whole job is being a tattletale. 1.00

01:12:01.000 What a bunch of fucking losers. 1.00

01:12:04.000 Why are they at CPAC? 1.00

01:12:09.000 You'd be amazed at who they let in this year.

01:12:12.000 Just like, media madness or something?

01:12:15.000 Bad one.

01:12:16.000 It's literally at the Gaylord Center.

01:12:19.000 Are you ready for a Neutron Bombo, Jared Holt?

01:12:22.000 He's straight.

01:12:24.000 What?

01:12:24.000 Wow.

01:12:26.000 That birth control really is fucking with women's taste in men. 1.00

01:12:29.000 They're dating homos now. 1.00

01:12:33.000 Um, so, uh, they're like the guys who go to the old houses. 0.83

01:12:39.000 Let me see him.

01:12:41.000 What about the Aryan Brotherhood?

01:12:42.000 Do you investigate them?

01:12:43.000 That sounds like some bonafide white nationalist. 1.00

01:12:49.000 You look like milk. 1.00

01:12:50.000 You look so weak. 0.98

01:12:51.000 You know what you look like?

01:12:52.000 Someone has a glass of water and they just put in like four drops of milk.

01:12:55.000 You just seem to have this sort of sad acquiescence to you.

01:13:00.000 You just look like you could just spill all over the ground. 1.00

01:13:03.000 Are you gay? 1.00

01:13:05.000 I used to know this. 0.87

01:13:06.000 I'm so un-homophobic that I forgot.

01:13:08.000 How was that line of coke that you did?

01:13:14.000 Oh, I know you!

01:13:16.000 How you doing?

01:13:17.000 That's Jason Charter.

01:13:18.000 How was that line of coke you did?

01:13:21.000 People don't realize that he can barely walk.

01:13:23.000 He looks like he's in the Addams Family.

01:13:25.000 And just like the guy we started with, less two legs, these cripples, they want everyone else to be somehow handicapped. 1.00

01:13:33.000 So he wants to ruin everything.

01:13:34.000 He must have not a long life ahead of him.

01:13:38.000 I mean, look at him. 1.00

01:13:40.000 And the guy walks like he's being raped up the ass. 1.00

01:13:43.000 Like he's like... 0.99

01:13:46.000 So I think that and then I forget who it was it was maybe it was Jacob Wall who goes it's possible that some of these cripples like they're in pain so much it becomes part of their vocabulary and they want to be beat up like they want more abuse it becomes like part of their vocabulary. 0.96

01:14:03.000 Is that Glenn Greenwald right there?

01:14:06.000 I don't know, but is this an update?

01:14:07.000 This came out January... Oh, no.

01:14:09.000 This is... I think this is new to us.

01:14:10.000 Yeah, I saw this.

01:14:11.000 We did?

01:14:11.000 Okay.

01:14:11.000 Is that a Brooks Brothers tie?

01:14:13.000 Look at him. 0.75

01:14:13.000 What disease do you have, dudes? 0.75

01:14:14.000 Dudes? 0.97

01:14:15.000 You make AIDS look like the common cold.

01:14:16.000 Look at him.

01:14:35.000 That's bad, yeah.

01:14:36.000 That's when he was attacking me saying I was doing cocaine on the podium when the previous night at Alex Jones' thing I was pretending to do cocaine on the podium.

01:14:44.000 Right.

01:14:44.000 I had to explain to him it's not coke, it's a joke.

01:14:46.000 I think that's Glenn Greenwald.

01:14:49.000 Anyway, let's get back to Glenn.

01:14:50.000 Oh, sorry, let me finish my analogy.

01:14:52.000 So these Mythbuster guys, right?

01:14:54.000 Not Mythbusters, Ghost Hunter guys. 0.96

01:14:56.000 You've seen the old shows where they go in and one fucking tech guy goes and pushes a chair downstairs and they go, did you hear that? 0.99

01:15:04.000 And they got some dumb meter. 0.99

01:15:06.000 It's all fake. 0.99

01:15:06.000 I don't believe that these people believe that they're catching ghosts. 0.99

01:15:09.000 It's all a scam.

01:15:10.000 But just like tarot cards, people like it.

01:15:12.000 They think it makes them feel better.

01:15:14.000 But their dead aunt and their dead Grammy and maybe she can see me and she's haunting the room.

01:15:19.000 All right.

01:15:20.000 But imagine that was your entire life.

01:15:23.000 That was your entire career.

01:15:25.000 And the only thing you did was hunt ghosts. 0.94

01:15:28.000 Because that's what racists are in the white male conservative biosphere. 0.99

01:15:34.000 They are ghosts. 0.99

01:15:34.000 They don't exist. 0.99

01:15:35.000 They're silly. 0.98

01:15:37.000 You might find, like I said to Jared right there, maybe join like the Biker Club Aryan Brotherhood. 0.99

01:15:42.000 You might find them.

01:15:43.000 There's probably four Klansmen in the Deep South somewhere.

01:15:46.000 They're all 75 years old.

01:15:48.000 Yes, there's five.

01:15:49.000 They exist. 0.99

01:15:50.000 But you've dedicated your life on the assumption that it's me, Proud Boys, Roger Stone, Donald Trump, fucking Glenn Greenwald, Elon Musk. 1.00

01:16:01.000 All of these guys are secretly Nazis. 0.99

01:16:04.000 And it's embarrassing, because that's your legacy. 0.98

01:16:07.000 Like, you're going to be on your deathbed going, wait a minute, I chased ghosts my whole life?

01:16:13.000 And the irony about all this is, they're doing it on the auspice of, well, we have to root out Nazis before they get big.

01:16:20.000 So Proud Boys are like the brown shirts when they just started.

01:16:24.000 And if we can nip this in the bud, we won't have World War III, right?

01:16:27.000 They're preventing, they're saving the world.

01:16:29.000 And I think it was Jack who pointed out, he goes, yeah, so you went from doing listicles at BuzzFeed to saving the world the next day?

01:16:35.000 Does that sound unusual to you?

01:16:36.000 That's like I was playing Madden on PlayStation, and then the next day I'm deciding who goes in the NFL.

01:16:43.000 No, dude, you're not.

01:16:45.000 Yes, you're helping get people fired and canceled, but that's because we live in a weak culture. 0.99

01:16:48.000 You didn't prevent the Fourth Reich, you just fucked up with, you fucked with someone's life. 0.98

01:16:52.000 You're not playing football, you're not in the NFL, you're playing fantasy football. 1.00

01:16:57.000 You dork. 1.00

01:16:59.000 So you look at what these people are doing and you go, wait a minute, you're working for some big fake globalist think tank that has all of these globalist companies pouring millions into it and your job is to fuck with people like me. 1.00

01:17:12.000 So you are the baddies. 0.99

01:17:15.000 So your assumption, and I think a lot of them truly believe this, is that they're saving the world by getting rid of Nazis, but they're the Nazis.

01:17:22.000 They're the ones working with globalists and

01:17:25.000 They are the ones who want to destroy the world.

01:17:28.000 So you think you're saving the world, but you're on the side of the globalists.

01:17:31.000 What do globalists want to do?

01:17:33.000 Destroy the world.

01:17:34.000 You're on the side of the manufactured pandemics.

01:17:37.000 You're on the side of the obliterating the poor.

01:17:40.000 You're on the side of let them eat bugs and live in pods. 1.00

01:17:44.000 That's your team, you fucking loser. 1.00

01:17:47.000 So that's what Glenn was saying in that brief thing. 1.00

01:17:49.000 Pull it up again.

01:17:53.000 That's Jason Charter retweeting Hasan Piker.

01:17:57.000 Okay, I don't care.

01:18:02.000 So he goes, I guess Jared Holt isn't at the Atlantic Council, he hasn't been there for a few months, now he's with ISD Global. 1.00

01:18:08.000 It's all the same shit, these dumb think tanks. 0.99

01:18:11.000 And let's look at who funds ISD Global. 1.00

01:18:14.000 We've got the Ministry of Justice and Security in the Netherlands, right by the EU, New Zealand Department of Internal Affairs, we've got all these EU globalists, Australia, Sweden.

01:18:29.000 Keep going?

01:18:31.000 U.S.

01:18:31.000 Department of Homeland Security.

01:18:33.000 Oh, look at this rebel working for the state in our new Soviet culture, where you tattletale on people you think are bad.

01:18:43.000 And of course, we've got Bill and Melinda Gates, who are buying up all the farmland in the country.

01:18:48.000 Oh, and ADL, Anti-Defamation League.

01:18:50.000 Great.

01:18:53.000 The only thing you can do with these people, by the way, is keep hammering them.

01:18:59.000 Stay on them.

01:19:00.000 I mean, I was able to raise $250,000 to sue the SBLC.

01:19:02.000 I don't think it'll ever end up in court, but I consider that a victory.

01:19:05.000 We got rid of the founder, Morris Dees.

01:19:08.000 We got rid of the president.

01:19:10.000 What was his name?

01:19:12.000 Morris Dees, Richard Schluckelberg, the head of legal, the top researcher.

01:19:19.000 We decapitated the organization.

01:19:21.000 And then they got Tina Tchen to come in. 0.99

01:19:23.000 She's a woman of color.

01:19:24.000 Unfortunately, she was so steeped in the Juicy Small A controversy, they had to dump her the next day. 1.00

01:19:30.000 But who was the president guy?

01:19:31.000 Richard Cohen?

01:19:32.000 Let me see his face.

01:19:32.000 Does that sound familiar?

01:19:35.000 President of the SPLC, speaks to the meter after... Yeah, that's a very old picture of him, I think.

01:19:42.000 Richard Cohen is the one who said, ha ha, his lawsuit means nothing to us.

01:19:46.000 And the fact that he wants to sue us is a great example of who we're after, and it shows we're over the target.

01:19:54.000 Because that's exactly the kind of person we want to be pissed off at us.

01:19:57.000 Next day, I'm quitting!

01:20:00.000 You can't get my emails in Discovery.

01:20:02.000 Oh, and he fired Morris Dees himself, and then he quit.

01:20:06.000 Victory.

01:20:07.000 Morris Dees and the time.

01:20:08.000 And finally, before we get to the mailbag, here is a random British comedian who was in that movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

01:20:17.000 A random funny hippie dude who moved to LA, a bit of a starling as far as his survival abilities here in America, doing way better journalism than all of these ghost chasers combined. 0.98

01:20:30.000 This is my idea of good information.

01:20:32.000 A new take on something that's right in your face and no one is talking about.

01:20:38.000 Pipeline, which, you know, was blown up mysteriously.

01:20:41.000 Guess what's happened?

01:20:42.000 Since it's been blown up, the U.S.

01:20:43.000 has done a load of gas deals with European nations.

01:20:46.000 Wow!

01:20:46.000 What an extraordinary coincidence!

01:20:48.000 is set to double its gas exports to the U.K.

01:20:48.000 The U.S.

01:20:50.000 under plans to clamp down on rising living costs by weaning Britain of Russian energy. 0.63

01:20:55.000 That was always the intention, to just take over gas exports from Russia.

01:21:00.000 Why take my word for it?

01:21:01.000 You simply want to change the structure of energy dependence.

01:21:04.000 You want to change that structure by blowing it up.

01:21:06.000 For years we've tried to get the Europeans to be interested in different pipeline routes.

01:21:10.000 It's time to do that.

01:21:11.000 You want to depend more on the North American energy platform.

01:21:15.000 Have pipelines that don't go through Ukraine and Russia.

01:21:18.000 But there is a pipeline going through Ukraine and Russia.

01:21:21.000 Not anymore there isn't!

01:21:23.000 If Russia invades, there will be no longer a Nord Stream 2.

01:21:27.000 We will bring an end to it.

01:21:28.000 How will you do that?

01:21:30.000 I promise you we'll be able to do it.

01:21:32.000 So, nothing to worry about here then.

01:21:34.000 Oh, that's tricky he's got.

01:21:37.000 You know what's crazy?

01:21:39.000 It's a very risky thing to, it's an act of war to destroy Russia's pipeline, but it seems to have worked. 0.98

01:21:46.000 I guess.

01:21:47.000 It's kind of badass.

01:21:49.000 I'm kind of with Condoleezza Rice and Joe Biden here.

01:21:52.000 Our economy needs a boost.

01:21:53.000 Why should Europe be giving money to Russia when we can have it?

01:21:56.000 You know I wanted to invade Greenland.

01:21:58.000 So though it is corrupt and evil and incredibly dangerous, unlike Russell, I think I'm for this. 0.99

01:22:05.000 But at least it's fucking... This is news. 0.99

01:22:08.000 That story that just came up, that's real news.

01:22:11.000 It's actually relevant.

01:22:13.000 It exists.

01:22:15.000 Working for a hate watch globalist company?

01:22:18.000 That's all about destroying free speech.

01:22:21.000 That's really what you're doing.

01:22:22.000 You ruin people's lives because someone paid you to. 1.00

01:22:26.000 You're a shithead. 1.00

01:22:28.000 And the only time I'll excuse it is if the person doing it is so severely crippled that I understand their malevolence. 1.00

01:22:35.000 Anyway, speaking of anger, I think it's time we checked out the mail B. Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.

01:22:45.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag. 0.97

01:22:50.000 Let me touch it.

01:22:53.000 So my trainer texted me back, you did three with it.

01:22:56.000 Clean, overhead press, clean and press.

01:23:00.000 Okay.

01:23:00.000 So I guess this is clean.

01:23:01.000 A clean is in one fell swoop, you do that.

01:23:04.000 Like this.

01:23:08.000 No, that's a clean and press.

01:23:11.000 A clean, to my knowledge, is that full movement.

01:23:14.000 No.

01:23:15.000 Clean, and then overhead press.

01:23:18.000 Overhead press is that.

01:23:20.000 And then clean and press.

01:23:26.000 A clean is just, according to him, is just the one thing.

01:23:29.000 Huh.

01:23:31.000 So it stops at the shoulders then?

01:23:33.000 Do you do it?

01:23:39.000 And then you press, oh I see.

01:23:40.000 Yeah.

01:23:44.000 When in doubt, just say the opposite of what Ryan says and you will be right.

01:23:49.000 Okay, first letter here.

01:23:52.000 I think people have figured out when I do the letters page because from when I send you the show notes to when I go to check the mail, there's a hundred letters.

01:24:03.000 So the answer is no. 1.00

01:24:05.000 Okay, fuck. 1.00

01:24:07.000 I saw a compliment and I'm a sucker for attention. 1.00

01:24:11.000 Gavin, cops and robbers the best thing you've ever done.

01:24:14.000 I like your banter with the guys.

01:24:16.000 I like John busting Maddie's chops. 0.99

01:24:18.000 I like how Ryan is more careful to insert any input because he's in a room full of alphas.

01:24:23.000 That is not true.

01:24:24.000 It's a great show, and I really hope you do whatever it takes to keep those guys coming back on Thursdays.

01:24:30.000 Thank you for your letter, Chris.

01:24:31.000 You don't need a comma before and unless you're doing a list, in which case it's called an Oxford comma.

01:24:37.000 And it beautifully splits a sentence on its own.

01:24:40.000 We don't need you.

01:24:43.000 Um... Hey guys, this movie seems pretty interesting.

01:24:49.000 This guy sent us this email twice.

01:24:51.000 Where are we here?

01:24:52.000 It's the top one.

01:24:53.000 Interesting movie trailer.

01:24:54.000 I gotcha.

01:24:57.000 This movie does look really cool.

01:24:59.000 It's kind of got favorite movie vibes.

01:25:04.000 Although it's in French.

01:25:15.000 Nice kick. 0.99

01:25:16.000 Ooh, that's gotta hurt.

01:25:19.000 Then he blasts him with cigarette smoke. 1.00

01:25:23.000 Sucks. 0.89

01:25:26.000 Why are you wearing weird outfits? 0.99

01:25:42.000 Oh, got him.

01:25:43.000 Coolest Avengers in the world.

01:25:45.000 I want to activate his events. 1.00

01:25:56.000 Superhero movie for idiots. 1.00

01:25:57.000 Looks like a higher IQ space ball. 1.00

01:26:09.000 And it's called Smoking Causes Coughing.

01:26:11.000 Zonked out nonsense? 0.79

01:26:33.000 Okay.

01:26:35.000 Kind of sketched out by the fact that that guy sent it in twice.

01:26:45.000 Oh, I see what happened there.

01:26:48.000 I live in Kansas City.

01:26:49.000 It's called Antifa License Plate.

01:26:51.000 I live in Kansas City.

01:26:52.000 There's a black car running on the city.

01:26:53.000 The license plate literally says Antifa on it.

01:26:56.000 I thought Antifa was a domestic terror organization.

01:26:58.000 Yeah, you could have Antifa on your license plate because they are part of the state.

01:27:01.000 They are mainstream.

01:27:04.000 That is the boss.

01:27:07.000 They decide who works security.

01:27:10.000 They decide everything. 1.00

01:27:11.000 Oh, here's a funny video someone sent in, a woman sent in, Faye sent in, about a gay man coming to terms with the fact that he fucked too much. 0.99

01:27:20.000 Now, 0.99

01:27:21.000 I think we're all mature and we can admit that HIV comes from not just being a homosexual and minding your own business. 1.00

01:27:28.000 It comes from rampant butt-fucking, insane over-the-top orgies, doing crystal meth, fucking for three days at a circuit party. 1.00

01:27:37.000 It's not easy to get AIDS. 1.00

01:27:38.000 You really gotta split an ass. 1.00

01:27:41.000 So when you see a gay with HIV, know that this guy has been fucking in ways that if you saw, you would vomit. 1.00

01:27:48.000 Instantly. 1.00

01:27:51.000 He's had like nine-sums.

01:27:53.000 It's like this much jizz at the bottom of the jacuzzi.

01:27:57.000 The jizz-coozy.

01:27:58.000 The jizz-coozy.

01:28:09.000 Wait a minute, this is just like that chick who's like, we've got great news!

01:28:11.000 Women are freezing their ovaries! 1.00

01:28:12.000 He's like, I got AIDS! 0.80

01:28:13.000 I just applied to become the cotton candy at a carnival. 0.75

01:28:15.000 Cotton candy hair.

01:28:34.000 He's gonna be scary for the person sitting next to you also. 0.99

01:28:42.000 He's scary for anyone who wants to buttfuck you from now on. 0.94

01:28:45.000 Everyone who's ever buttfucked him is going, uh, when did this diagnosis go down? 0.99

01:28:50.000 Oh boy. 0.98

01:28:50.000 World's worst dad. 0.98

01:28:52.000 Wow. 0.98

01:28:52.000 World's most Jewish mom. 0.98

01:29:02.000 Wow.

01:29:03.000 Thanks for the nose, mom. 0.68

01:29:05.000 She looks like if Israel and Palestine got along and had a baby.

01:29:14.000 Ooh. 1.00

01:29:15.000 Fuck, dude. 1.00

01:29:16.000 Nice work, dad. 1.00

01:29:17.000 Thanks, devil.

01:29:19.000 Way to go, pops.

01:29:22.000 This is Christine.

01:29:24.000 Oh, wait.

01:29:25.000 No, I think we already covered that.

01:29:26.000 Yeah.

01:29:27.000 I stole her letter and put it in the notes. 1.00

01:29:31.000 Here's someone who wants to show us gay porn. 1.00

01:29:33.000 Gay for men porn. 1.00

01:29:34.000 Is that what we call it? 1.00

01:29:35.000 I think so. 0.96

01:29:37.000 Or do we call it man porn? 1.00

01:29:38.000 Maybe we just call it gay porn. 1.00

01:29:40.000 I think we just call it gay for men. 0.99

01:29:41.000 We call it gay for men. 0.82

01:30:05.000 That's my brother. 0.97

01:30:09.000 All right, what do you got?

01:30:11.000 Let's see.

01:30:12.000 Strip thread repairs using Helicoli inserts, pair of Brembo brake calipers for a Subaru WRX, three stripped holes, one broken bolt.

01:30:22.000 All right, so the bolt seems to have trouble getting in there because the threads are toast and they're going to fix it.

01:30:28.000 But we'll see.

01:30:29.000 We will see.

01:30:30.000 Two videos about stripped holes in a row.

01:30:38.000 That's wobbling all over the place. 0.99

01:30:39.000 Those threads suck. 1.00

01:30:41.000 So, you just take a little off the top. 0.99

01:30:44.000 Okay, I understand that, I guess.

01:30:46.000 Wait, you got a drill?

01:30:47.000 How are we gonna replenish threads that are completely gone?

01:30:50.000 I thought they were gonna take stronger threads and just sort of redo them.

01:30:54.000 Okay, now you have no threads. 1.00

01:30:56.000 So you fucked up. 0.99

01:30:57.000 Wait, what's this? 1.00

01:31:00.000 Why didn't you do that the first time? 1.00

01:31:02.000 Okay, so now they're carving new threads in, but dumbass. 0.99

01:31:05.000 The bigger diameter? 0.99

01:31:06.000 It's bigger diameter.

01:31:07.000 The threads just, the bolt is just gonna wobble around in there.

01:31:11.000 You might, you might have nice threads, but you don't got nothing to bolt it into.

01:31:14.000 What are you gonna do now, dummy?

01:31:16.000 What's that? 0.97

01:31:17.000 Oh my gee.

01:31:19.000 Oh, he put an adapter on it.

01:31:21.000 The new set of threads goes in the new set of threads and that brings it back to the original size.

01:31:30.000 Look how perfect that is.

01:31:31.000 Knock out a few loose pieces and perfection.

01:31:37.000 That is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

01:31:42.000 Wow.

01:31:43.000 And unlike that other guy, completely fixed.

01:31:46.000 You're awesome, dude.

01:31:47.000 You're the opposite of AIDS.

01:31:50.000 All right, let's get to the final vid.

01:31:51.000 Sure.

01:32:07.000 You may have noticed that I'm looking at you more this episode.

01:32:11.000 I adjusted the camera.

01:32:12.000 I was watching my own show, which sounds vain, but you should always do that.

01:32:17.000 If you're a writer, you should always be reading what you wrote.

01:32:19.000 If you do this, you should be watching what you made.

01:32:21.000 If you're a podcaster, you should be listening to your own show!

01:32:24.000 And I noticed I was looking off like a few degrees and it, it looks duplicitous.

01:32:28.000 That's what people do when they're lying.

01:32:30.000 They look over to the left.

01:32:31.000 Duplicitous.

01:32:31.000 So now I'm looking, I'm looking over to the left right now.

01:32:33.000 I'm looking at the video, but now I'm looking at the camera and that should be your eyes.

01:32:38.000 So I hope this helps with our relationship and it's, you see my sincerity more clearly.

01:32:45.000 Anyway, this is Friday.

01:32:47.000 We're off for the weekend, about to have some fun.

01:32:49.000 Tomorrow is the Gavin McInnes Show.

01:32:51.000 It's this show seven years ago, eight years ago now, I guess.

01:32:55.000 We do that every Saturday.

01:32:56.000 There's also tons of new shows, new content every single day, building on a daily basis.

01:33:02.000 Hope to get Tommy Sotomayor in here soon.

01:33:05.000 His studio was completely flooded and he's having to rebuild it from scratch.

01:33:09.000 But anyway, here's a guy on a hammock and a lady lying next to him. 0.81

01:33:18.000 Look, he doesn't jump in to get her.

01:33:27.000 He's caused all this.

01:33:31.000 Shouldn't he be in there?

01:33:33.000 And what's that green light down there?

01:33:35.000 Is it a swimming pool?

01:33:35.000 It looks like a dock.

01:33:41.000 I hope she's okay.

01:33:43.000 Alright folks, that's it.

01:33:44.000 Have a fun weekend. 1.00

01:33:45.000 Try to stay off your goddamn phone. 1.00

01:33:47.000 Spend some time with your kids. 1.00

01:33:48.000 And if you're single, don't end up like that woman trying to make a happy mountain out of a shitty molehill. 1.00

01:33:54.000 Try to get married. 0.99

01:33:57.000 Put a ring on it.

01:33:58.000 Be yourself.

01:33:58.000 Be who you are.

01:33:59.000 Get out there.

01:34:00.000 Have some interests. 1.00

01:34:01.000 If you want to attract a lady, have some shit going on in your life. 0.99

01:34:04.000 Don't need her. 1.00

01:34:07.000 Accept her.

01:34:08.000 She should be something that you're perfectly happy to include in your life, not something you need to live.

01:34:13.000 Don't be desperate, dude. 0.99

01:34:14.000 Have your own shit going on. 0.99

01:34:18.000 And in the interim, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting. 1.00

01:34:39.000 Baby sweat. 0.94

01:34:40.000 Baby sex is a Texas drought. 0.99

01:34:42.000 Me and you do that kind of stuff that only French would sing about. 1.00

01:34:46.000 So put your hands down my pants, and I'll bet you'll feel nuts. 1.00

01:34:50.000 Yes, I'm Joey. 0.98

01:34:51.000 Yes, I'm Biden.

01:34:52.000 And you're getting two thumbs up.

01:34:53.000 You've had enough of two hand tugs.

01:34:55.000 You want a rub?

01:34:56.000 You're out of bounds. 1.00

01:34:57.000 I want you smothered. 1.00

01:34:58.000 I want you covered. 0.94

01:34:59.000 Like my Waffle House has grounds.

01:35:01.000 Coming quicker than FedEx.

01:35:02.000 Never meet your paychecks.

01:35:03.000 Just like Coca-Cola stock.

01:35:04.000 You are declining.

01:35:05.000 Make me rise in power.

01:35:07.000 Early, just like daylight savings.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - March 11, 2023

S4E226 - SPECIAL NEEDS

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