Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S4E237 - GAY BOOKS

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.

00:00:48.000 Once again, Australia hits it out of the park.

00:00:52.000 I don't know what the F is going on with that country slash continent, but they keep churning out awesome bands! 1.00

00:01:18.000 Who the fuck are these guys? 0.99

00:01:19.000 They're from New South Wales. 1.00

00:01:21.000 Newcastle, New South Wales in Australia.

00:01:24.000 Dust, they're called. 0.84

00:01:26.000 Like, Emil and the Sniffers, the fuckin' Smoko guys, the Chats, they just... I've said this a million times, the Australian music scene right now is as relevant as New York and England in the late 70s with punk and CBGBs and the 100 Club and the Sex Pistols and all that stuff.

00:01:48.000 It's as consequential.

00:01:50.000 Might not get the same media attention,

00:01:52.000 They don't have their looks down the way Malcolm McLaren and Vivian Westwood did, but go back to that song.

00:02:01.000 And I know this sounds naive, but how are you a five-piece rock band and you're still sounding so original?

00:02:12.000 Right. 0.96

00:02:13.000 Yeah, that's super fucking tough. 0.93

00:02:15.000 Yeah. 0.92

00:02:16.000 Like painting.

00:02:17.000 There's no crazy keyboards going on.

00:02:19.000 How are you a painter in 2023?

00:02:21.000 What are you going to do?

00:02:22.000 A landscape?

00:02:23.000 What are you going to do?

00:02:24.000 Some weird Dali-esque thing that looks like what it isn't?

00:02:28.000 Oh, he's going up the stairs.

00:02:29.000 He's going down the stairs like MC Escher.

00:02:31.000 Like fine art in that sense.

00:02:33.000 It's got to be done.

00:02:34.000 And you think the same of rock.

00:02:35.000 And then these guys come along and they go, no, I can take a bass, a guitar and drums and

00:02:40.000 The bass is playing two chords.

00:02:42.000 It's going ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-

00:03:03.000 I've become so good at detecting musical sprinkles.

00:03:08.000 Detective sprinkles?

00:03:09.000 That I can just... I put the song at the beginning and then I jump 30 seconds in and I'm like, garbage. 0.97

00:03:16.000 Similarly, you hear this and you go, amazing, opening song.

00:03:21.000 Again, curly hair, who would have known?

00:03:23.000 Guys with curly hair usually can't rock.

00:03:27.000 That's a jam.

00:03:28.000 What's that one called?

00:03:29.000 Zoom out.

00:03:31.000 Ward 52.

00:03:31.000 Dust.

00:03:33.000 Ward 52.

00:03:35.000 And then what's this next one?

00:03:38.000 So the song is Ward 52, the band is Dust.

00:03:41.000 The gutter.

00:03:42.000 The gutter.

00:03:43.000 They got it.

00:03:45.000 G'day. 0.97

00:03:46.000 Ooh.

00:03:47.000 Ooh, they're getting angry.

00:03:48.000 This is more my speed here.

00:03:50.000 I'm too old for this level of rock. 1.00

00:03:54.000 Turn it down, goddamn! 1.00

00:03:56.000 You damn kids with your rock and roll! 1.00

00:03:59.000 Welcome to the gutter, baby. 1.00

00:04:00.000 Oh, the gutter's filthy.

00:04:02.000 Stop.

00:04:03.000 It's loud in the gutter.

00:04:04.000 That guy's in an alleyway.

00:04:05.000 He's gonna mug me.

00:04:07.000 That store's closed. 1.00

00:04:08.000 You better not break those windows, you dicks. 1.00

00:04:11.000 Ew, get away from that. 0.99

00:04:12.000 It has rabies.

00:04:12.000 Ew, bad.

00:04:13.000 They're gonna start another fucking COVID. 1.00

00:04:16.000 You better not put that in a soup and eat it. 1.00

00:04:17.000 You better not throw tomatoes at that clock, you jerks. 1.00

00:04:28.000 Every song totally different. 0.99

00:04:29.000 That's a different vocalist than before.

00:04:32.000 Huh.

00:04:32.000 One of the least boring bands I've ever heard in my life.

00:04:36.000 Nice work.

00:04:36.000 You win the musical sprinkles.

00:04:38.000 Speaking of musical sprinkles, oh, by the way, I did that hand tattoo thing a few days ago.

00:04:42.000 I cannot get these off.

00:04:43.000 Yeah, I know.

00:04:44.000 It's so embarrassing.

00:04:46.000 It says, how fast time flies with roses. 1.00

00:04:49.000 And this is a fucking tiger. 1.00

00:04:53.000 These are a joke. 1.00

00:04:53.000 I just meet people. 1.00

00:04:54.000 It's for a thing.

00:04:55.000 Anyway, let's get to work.

00:04:59.000 But speaking of sprinkles, speaking of sprinkles, we have some exciting news.

00:05:07.000 Anal Chinook.

00:05:10.000 The remastered recordings are available, at the very least, on YouTube.

00:05:16.000 And you can listen to all my cringe lyrics I wrote.

00:05:18.000 That's me at 17 with no Nazis, you guys!

00:05:24.000 This is, uh, Entrepreneur?

00:05:27.000 Yep.

00:05:28.000 It says, Alex P. Keaton here.

00:05:28.000 Yeah, go to the beginning.

00:05:30.000 Alex P. Keaton here.

00:05:34.000 This song is about people who just want money.

00:05:36.000 A nice house and a car.

00:05:39.000 Ooh.

00:05:40.000 Yeah, you really need that.

00:05:44.000 Because, as punks, we all lived in the suburbs, so we're like, why do people need money so bad?

00:05:53.000 Turn it up!

00:06:26.000 You're socially blind if you just want to make money and you're greedy.

00:06:30.000 This is way better than what's coming out of Australia. 0.96

00:06:35.000 Socially blind!

00:06:39.000 Social E-Play! 0.96

00:06:48.000 Social E-Play!

00:06:57.000 Great jam for you. 0.99

00:06:58.000 You've got your pubic lice.

00:06:59.000 You've got your... So we got Goodbye Ozone Layer about the depletion of the ozone layer.

00:07:03.000 You got God Bless You about choosing a religion.

00:07:05.000 A 17-year-old is telling you that it's your own life and it's your own decision what religion you choose.

00:07:10.000 So that's good to know.

00:07:11.000 Thanks, Teenage Me.

00:07:13.000 What else have we got there?

00:07:14.000 Idealistic Tease.

00:07:16.000 No, show me the previous... the list you had.

00:07:18.000 I can't see it anymore.

00:07:22.000 Pubic lice is just about having lice in your pubes. 1.00

00:07:25.000 Idealistic tease is like you tell us that we're free but we're not free so you're teasing us.

00:07:32.000 Acid Rain, of course, is about the depletion of the ozone layer.

00:07:35.000 I mean, sorry, it's about America polluting our forests and our lakes with acid rain.

00:07:42.000 Red Blisters is definitely the most cringe song on the list.

00:07:45.000 That's an ode I wrote to women about the suffering they endure.

00:07:50.000 And Red Blisters is from High Heel Shoes.

00:07:53.000 And one of the lines in it is, giant red blisters on the backs of their heels.

00:07:57.000 I won't even pretend.

00:07:59.000 I know how it feels.

00:08:01.000 I know how blisters feel.

00:08:02.000 And I knew how blisters felt when I was 17.

00:08:04.000 I don't know.

00:08:05.000 High heel shoes.

00:08:06.000 And then that song has the chorus, women can't articulate. 1.00

00:08:09.000 Why can't women masturbate? 1.00

00:08:11.000 I worry about the world's fate with men in control. 1.00

00:08:12.000 Women can diddle their bean like crazy, actually. 1.00

00:08:15.000 But back when I was 17, it seemed like only guys jerked off. 1.00

00:08:19.000 So I thought, women don't masturbate. 1.00

00:08:20.000 Why not? 1.00

00:08:22.000 Use Your Brains Now is self-explanatory.

00:08:23.000 In fact, Use Your Brains Now, we used to throw cow brains out into the audience. 1.00

00:08:27.000 So that's why I have brains all over me in the picture.

00:08:30.000 Those are cow brains we got from the local butcher.

00:08:32.000 Entrepreneur We Just Heard, that's about how evil it is to want to be rich.

00:08:36.000 And then Pee Wee's Playhouse is a cover of us live.

00:08:40.000 And then a silly interview.

00:08:53.000 It was really hard finding who wrote that. 0.71

00:08:55.000 It's like three people.

00:08:57.000 Oh really?

00:08:57.000 Yeah.

00:08:57.000 The guy from Devo, some other person, and then Paul Reuben.

00:09:01.000 Mark Mothersbaugh.

00:09:02.000 Yes.

00:09:03.000 He has written everything in the world, by the way.

00:09:05.000 Yeah.

00:09:07.000 Go to the first one.

00:09:09.000 I love the beginning.

00:09:09.000 Goodbye Ozone Lane.

00:09:11.000 Yeah.

00:09:12.000 You got like silence and then we'll start it again.

00:09:16.000 No, it's beginning. 1.00

00:09:18.000 Damn it. 1.00

00:09:18.000 It won't let me. 1.00

00:09:19.000 All right, I'll go from one song to the next.

00:09:20.000 Ready, set.

00:09:24.000 She's even a cowbell now. 1.00

00:09:30.000 Alright, that's enough.

00:09:33.000 You can look that up yourself. 0.99

00:09:47.000 Fuckin' time and time again we put the environment behind McDonald's Corporation. 0.99

00:09:52.000 We have to boycott McDonald's. 0.99

00:09:55.000 I hear somebody's tapping in there.

00:09:56.000 Scrawny Ronnie won't pay a cent to help protect your environment. 0.66

00:10:03.000 That's Ronald Reagan. 1.00

00:10:05.000 Fucking scrawny Ronnie. 1.00

00:10:07.000 Hey Ronnie, if you're watching this, fuck you. 1.00

00:10:11.000 Sit on this and rotate. 1.00

00:10:15.000 Ronald Reagan. 0.99

00:10:17.000 Jerk. 0.92

00:10:21.000 We're gonna get to more sprinkles in a moment in this extra long episode, but I'd like to talk to you briefly about our sponsor Jump Medic.

00:10:30.000 Jump Medic is a company owned by a baby monster who happens to be a longtime paramedic.

00:10:34.000 Jump Medic sells top-notch first aid kits and first aid equipment.

00:10:37.000 Their premier product is the Jump Medic Pro, which comes in red or black.

00:10:41.000 This is the red version here.

00:10:44.000 What?

00:10:44.000 Now unfortunately this ad copy was written before

00:11:07.000 Ryan and I went to Los Angeles where his deadbeat dad gave him a mullet and there is nothing wrong with that. 1.00

00:11:16.000 Thank you very much Sam Singh.

00:11:18.000 Your hair has been annoying for years.

00:11:22.000 That's not annoying.

00:11:24.000 Take your headphones off.

00:11:27.000 Show them a profile.

00:11:28.000 This is what people look like when they're not annoying.

00:11:32.000 I told him to give up being annoying for Lent and he said he's new to Catholicism and you have to start light.

00:11:37.000 You don't want to set yourself up for failure.

00:11:39.000 You know you can start, you can break your Lent Saturday night at midnight.

00:11:45.000 I didn't know that, and I usually don't.

00:11:47.000 I usually don't partake in that.

00:11:48.000 But you quit coffee, right?

00:11:49.000 So, you don't want to have a coffee at midnight.

00:11:50.000 Well, cream and sugar, I quit.

00:11:52.000 And then also sugar drinks. 0.98

00:11:53.000 I would just, I would look at the clock the second it turned midnight on Saturday, I'd just start pounding bourbon, and then Sunday was a shitshow. 0.81

00:12:00.000 See, I asked my wife about that, and she said, does that feel good to you? 0.96

00:12:03.000 And I'm like, feels like cheating.

00:12:05.000 Rules are rules.

00:12:06.000 She's like, okay.

00:12:07.000 Rules are rules.

00:12:09.000 Okay.

00:12:10.000 Go check out JumpMedic.com and look at the What's Included page to get an idea of everything included in the JumpMedic Pro First Aid Kit.

00:12:16.000 The JumpMedic Pro Kit also comes with a smaller secondary bag.

00:12:20.000 That's not this.

00:12:22.000 The smaller secondary bag.

00:12:24.000 It's about this big.

00:12:24.000 We have it somewhere.

00:12:27.000 It's good if you're going to rallies. 0.71

00:12:29.000 You might get cut by one of these Antifa nuts.

00:12:32.000 And go to the What's Included page to get an idea of everything included in the Jump Medik Pro First Aid Kit.

00:12:37.000 The Jump Medik Pro Kit also comes with a smaller... Oh yeah, sorry.

00:12:40.000 I'm repeating myself.

00:12:42.000 You can use the bigger kit for your home and take the smaller one with you when you plan on doing anything remotely dangerous.

00:12:46.000 And folks, it's the wild, wild west out there nowadays.

00:12:49.000 Everything is dangerous.

00:12:50.000 Just ask Eric or Scott Adams.

00:12:53.000 All joking aside, if you don't have a first aid kit, you need to get one yesterday.

00:12:55.000 You don't want to be unprepared for a very difficult situation, fumbling through an old and out-of-date first aid kit, asking, does this do anything?

00:13:02.000 Both of the incredibly durable blags allow for open, flat access while in use.

00:13:07.000 Very simple here.

00:13:08.000 This is zipped up, right?

00:13:09.000 Nothing's falling out of this.

00:13:11.000 You take the jump medic top here and just go zink-a-ding-dong. 0.99

00:13:15.000 Look at that.

00:13:18.000 Um, now you can access every single thing in the bag.

00:13:23.000 Both of the, uh, sorry, Jump Medic also sells refills for these kits and they sell first aid supplies for anyone who may need bandages, medications, and more.

00:13:30.000 If you already have a first aid kit, keep them in mind if you need to resupply anything in your kit.

00:13:37.000 The Jump Medic Pro is great for nurses, paramedics, firefighters, and police, but it's also great for hobbyists and families.

00:13:42.000 If you don't have a first aid kit in your home, and even if you do, this is also a great product.

00:13:45.000 Possibly the most comprehensive first aid kit at this price point that is currently on the market.

00:13:50.000 Go to jumpmedic.com, enter promo code RyanSucks on one word, or Gavin for 10% off.

00:13:57.000 No, only RyanSucks.

00:13:59.000 I made them get rid of the other one. 1.00

00:14:03.000 If you don't think Ryan sucks, you need first aid. 0.98

00:14:06.000 That's a catch 22. 0.99

00:14:09.000 There's something wrong.

00:14:10.000 You're in trouble.

00:14:11.000 Oh, I got it.

00:14:12.000 This is for the... Have it in your RV when you're going on a trip.

00:14:25.000 Don't play that or we won't be able to make this show public.

00:14:28.000 It's instrumental.

00:14:31.000 I'm sure they own that.

00:14:33.000 All right, let's get back to work here.

00:14:35.000 We started the show with some musical sprinkles, and now let's get to some comedic sprinkles.

00:14:42.000 I gotta say, Baby Monsters, I'm a little worried.

00:14:46.000 I assumed you appreciate comedy because you subscribe to censored.tv, but when you send me clips and you go, this is definitely sprinkles,

00:14:57.000 First, it's usually two years old.

00:15:00.000 Secondly, I don't know how to convey this.

00:15:03.000 Sprinkles is magic, okay?

00:15:05.000 It means God sprinkled magic dust on you.

00:15:09.000 How many people have written more than five number one hits in world history?

00:15:13.000 It's like six people.

00:15:15.000 Taylor Swift, Bruce Springsteen.

00:15:17.000 Michael Jackson.

00:15:18.000 Michael Jackson.

00:15:19.000 The Beatles, Elvis.

00:15:20.000 The Beatles is a whole band.

00:15:22.000 There's very few.

00:15:24.000 Maybe two hands, you can count them.

00:15:26.000 Number one hits.

00:15:27.000 Jimi Hendrix had none, by the way.

00:15:30.000 So when you're talking about comedy, I don't just want someone who's pretty funny.

00:15:34.000 I want someone who has weird, magical, new skills.

00:15:38.000 Like the opening band, Dust.

00:15:40.000 This is the comedy equivalent of Dust.

00:15:45.000 I have anxiety and depression.

00:15:47.000 I've been dealing with it over the past forever.

00:15:52.000 I feel like they cancel each other out, though.

00:15:54.000 I feel like

00:15:56.000 I feel like the anxiety is like, what if everyone here hates you?

00:16:04.000 What if they all want to kill you?

00:16:06.000 And then the depression is like, yeah. 0.89

00:16:22.000 Quality.

00:16:23.000 And then of course the Friday beers crew never disappoints, but this was a particularly good one about a blind bully. 0.90

00:16:29.000 Oh, did you make it?

00:16:33.000 No.

00:16:34.000 Oh, who do we got here?

00:16:35.000 It's Billy Langdon.

00:16:37.000 Butt Munch Billy! 0.97

00:16:39.000 What's he wearing, Kala?

00:16:40.000 He's got on a grey t-shirt and some black pants to beat his pants.

00:16:44.000 Okay.

00:16:44.000 How tight are these pants?

00:16:47.000 They're pretty tight.

00:16:49.000 I agree. 0.99

00:16:50.000 You're gay, Langdon. 1.00

00:16:51.000 What is this? 0.99

00:16:53.000 Okay, what color were his clothes again?

00:16:55.000 It's a gray t-shirt, black pants, and white shoes.

00:16:58.000 Okay, are those colors pleasant to look at?

00:17:01.000 Do they go together?

00:17:03.000 Because he doesn't know what matches, right?

00:17:03.000 I guess.

00:17:05.000 What I'm trying to say is, do those colors represent anything socially?

00:17:09.000 Is there something he's wearing that makes him stand out based on our socioeconomic status?

00:17:14.000 Um, I don't know, it's just like, it just feels like it's casual wear, I guess.

00:17:18.000 Normal.

00:17:18.000 Casual wear.

00:17:19.000 Casual wear.

00:17:19.000 Verbal.

00:17:20.000 Okay, how about this?

00:17:21.000 Anything expensive or cheap?

00:17:23.000 Cheap.

00:17:25.000 SNL doesn't know how to end sketches.

00:17:27.000 But he does. 0.96

00:17:45.000 There's always, those crews always have one main sprinkles and a lot of sprinkling dick riders. 0.96

00:17:50.000 You can tell the main guy, the blind bully, is the main funny guy in the crew. 0.93

00:17:53.000 And then there's other guys who are moderately funny. 0.97

00:17:56.000 And then there's always two guys who are not even remotely funny, but you've known them since fucking grade school. 0.91

00:18:02.000 Like the birthday boys, remember them? 0.94

00:18:04.000 Yeah, yeah, with the music and the songs?

00:18:06.000 You can tell like the fat guy was the main guy.

00:18:09.000 But then the other guys were also pretty good.

00:18:13.000 Actually pull up the birthday boys. 1.00

00:18:16.000 And then there was one dude where you're like, you're the shit stain they all hate. 0.99

00:18:20.000 And when they signed a contract with Comedy Central, everyone just was so happy that they finally got something going that they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.99

00:18:27.000 Equal parts, equal parts. 0.98

00:18:28.000 Fucking we're the team. 1.00

00:18:30.000 And then after two years, they're like, what the fuck? 1.00

00:18:32.000 Why is this guy here? 0.99

00:18:34.000 Cooking Pepsi, boys.

00:18:35.000 OK, so, yeah, go to All Your Favorites Are Back.

00:18:41.000 Let's play a sprinkles game.

00:18:44.000 And by the way, this is just a hunch.

00:18:49.000 These guys ever see this?

00:18:51.000 Definite sprinkles. 0.86

00:18:52.000 That's who I meant when I said the fat guy.

00:18:53.000 The first guy they just showed. 0.89

00:18:56.000 That guy has the sprinkles and I feel like just like the blind bully, he's the main guy.

00:19:00.000 I can't believe I'm ruining comedy by being so clinical about it. 0.87

00:19:03.000 Isn't it crazy that that used to be the fat guy?

00:19:06.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:19:06.000 He's a bit tighter shaped.

00:19:10.000 He's literally five pounds overweight.

00:19:14.000 That guy, I bet, that's who I was thinking about. 1.00

00:19:16.000 I bet that guy's the shit stain they all hate. 1.00

00:19:20.000 That guy also has sprinkles. 1.00

00:19:22.000 That's two sprinkles.

00:19:24.000 Sprinkle-esque.

00:19:27.000 Yeah, yeah, he's sprinkly.

00:19:28.000 So that's three sprinkles.

00:19:29.000 And then we start repeating.

00:19:35.000 That show was so good.

00:19:36.000 Remember the musical about a book?

00:19:39.000 That's the only one I do know about them, yeah.

00:19:42.000 Great stuff.

00:19:43.000 Fun for the whole family.

00:19:45.000 Speaking of comedy, sometimes you don't need jokes to laugh.

00:19:49.000 Sometimes reality delivers the jokes.

00:19:51.000 Like this is one of the funniest things I've ever seen and it's not trying to be.

00:19:58.000 Future Razorback Quincy Rhodes Jr.

00:20:00.000 is on the front line today cleaning up his community after Friday's tornado.

00:20:05.000 Full report from Mims Courtney.

00:20:07.000 So there's been a tornado.

00:20:09.000 Some trees are felled.

00:20:11.000 What do you do?

00:20:12.000 Let's ask Quincy.

00:20:14.000 Everybody, when they see QJ, they see, they see, oh, he's going off the side.

00:20:19.000 He's a four star.

00:20:20.000 He's this, that, and that.

00:20:21.000 They think he's too big.

00:20:23.000 Are you punishing the tree for falling down?

00:20:26.000 Never fall down again! 0.74

00:20:30.000 What is that black thing where people talk like that? 1.00

00:20:32.000 Saw their mouth? 0.71

00:20:32.000 Who, the trees shoes? 0.71

00:20:33.000 Look at what he's doing.

00:20:34.000 He's sawing a random part of a tree.

00:20:36.000 That's not helping, guy.

00:20:36.000 And then look at this.

00:20:54.000 What the fuck are you doing? 1.00

00:20:58.000 First of all, go back to the axe. 1.00

00:21:01.000 Say hypothetically, the plan here is, I want to get this part of the tree separated so people can still park here, I guess?

00:21:08.000 I mean, that whole tree's got to be separated and wood chipped up or taken away, right?

00:21:13.000 So, if that was your plan, which is a retarded plan, by the way, 0.98

00:21:18.000 Axing it like that, that's what, four hours, I'd say?

00:21:21.000 Yeah, four hours of chopping is eventually going to get through that.

00:21:26.000 And then what have you done?

00:21:27.000 You just broke off that piece. 0.96

00:21:28.000 And then the first part, where he's got some fucking axe on, which is for small branches, by the way, he's sitting there just randomly. 0.75

00:21:38.000 Thanks a lot, buddy. 0.95

00:21:38.000 Ask me about my axe. 0.95

00:21:42.000 I gotta ask you something. 1.00

00:21:43.000 What the fuck are you doing? 1.00

00:21:47.000 Oh my God, thank you for this, real world. 1.00

00:21:49.000 See, once you stop being nice and you don't worry about, you know, hurting or being politically incorrect, all of this humor just falls into your lap.

00:21:59.000 I'm done with charity.

00:22:00.000 I'm done with going, well, at least they're trying.

00:22:03.000 No, that's funny. 1.00

00:22:04.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:22:06.000 Like the guy, the black dude who said at our show in LA, he comes up to me and goes, man, I love your show on Wednesdays and stuff, but could you take it easy on the black people for once? 1.00

00:22:14.000 Like, just like release the chokehold just a little bit. 0.60

00:22:17.000 I'm like, no.

00:22:18.000 Can you take it easy on everyone else? 0.68

00:22:21.000 Black people? 0.99

00:22:25.000 Speaking of black people, the wig guy is still rocking. 0.99

00:22:27.000 I think he's European.

00:22:29.000 Because it takes an outsider, like me, I'm from Canada and Britain, to really not play by the rules.

00:22:37.000 And this is just... If you thought blowing off black women's wigs was funny, you ain't seen nothing yet. 1.00

00:22:45.000 Oh no way. 0.99

00:22:47.000 This is crazy.

00:22:48.000 He's the best.

00:22:50.000 He's the best.

00:23:09.000 This is so rude.

00:23:10.000 Do it again.

00:23:11.000 Wow, this is wildly disrespectful.

00:23:12.000 Nah, brother, this is not it.

00:23:14.000 You're messing with a culture that's already vulnerable.

00:23:15.000 The fact that when you're walking around the Bronx and, well, more specifically, New York City, Manhattan, the fact that every black woman you see is wearing a wig is like the elephant in the room. 0.99

00:23:26.000 Like, it's ridiculous. 0.99

00:23:28.000 I'm seeing a lot of black people here with zero humor about it. 1.00

00:23:31.000 Oh, really? 0.98

00:23:32.000 Yeah.

00:23:33.000 Yeah, I know.

00:23:33.000 You're not supposed to acknowledge that this thing exists.

00:23:38.000 Anyway, I remember when I was with my old buddy that I had the ad agency with and we were at a hotel on a business trip and there's an ad for Beyonce blonde shampoo and he goes, motherfucker. 0.98

00:23:50.000 I go, what's the matter? 0.98

00:23:51.000 Look at this.

00:23:52.000 She's advertising blonde hair shampoo. 0.88

00:23:54.000 That's not her hair, A. And B, she can't get it wet. 1.00

00:23:58.000 So why is she telling blondes how to maintain their fucking sewn in hair? 1.00

00:24:03.000 Anyway, that's enough racism for one day. 0.99

00:24:06.000 We're going to see a lot of stuff here in a second where the person just needs a beating.

00:24:13.000 And like, especially Antifa and Rappaport. 0.99

00:24:16.000 I'm about to show you Michael Rappaport talking shit. 0.99

00:24:19.000 He's still doing his New York thing. 1.00

00:24:21.000 Dude, he moved to L.A.

00:24:23.000 when he was a teenager.

00:24:25.000 He's not a New Yorker.

00:24:26.000 He's a Los Angeles, L.A.

00:24:28.000 dude, dressed up as a New Yorker for Halloween.

00:24:31.000 He's always got his Yankees hat on. 0.99

00:24:33.000 He's got a black wife, which Shane Gillis calls you a daywalker if you have a black wife, because you can be racist and no one can touch you. 0.98

00:24:41.000 Is that the funniest thing you've ever heard? 0.99

00:24:43.000 A daywalker?

00:24:47.000 You can walk among the zombies. 1.00

00:24:50.000 But he's talking shit, and the Antifa dude's talking shit, and you're like, none of these people are ever gonna fight. 1.00

00:24:56.000 And I just wish they would. 1.00

00:24:58.000 Fighting solves everything.

00:25:00.000 And here's a dude with a pitbull. 1.00

00:25:02.000 The pitbull attacks his stupid gay dog, and the guy gives him and the pitbull a beating. 1.00

00:25:07.000 Like, this situation is handled now. 1.00

00:25:11.000 Classified as finished.

00:25:12.000 We're good.

00:25:15.000 No cops. 1.00

00:25:17.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:25:19.000 You wanna go, dog? 1.00

00:25:23.000 And then the doggy comes out again and the pitbull attacks it again.

00:25:29.000 Is he a drunk?

00:25:32.000 I think his face is pretty swollen, but it might be from the punches already.

00:25:36.000 Look at that, great punches.

00:25:38.000 He fights the pitbull too. 0.99

00:25:43.000 Remember my buddy Trevor in Tampa told me about this dude he was a drug dealer and coke I believe and that one of the kids in his neighborhood one of the guys who had bought from him before snitched on him when he got in trouble now I don't think he ended up getting arrested for whatever reason but he knew that there was a snitch down the road and the guy was a fucking beast murderer 0.99

00:26:05.000 Scary guy. 0.96

00:26:06.000 The kind of guy who has hand tattoos but isn't a poser.

00:26:09.000 He has them so when you pull out your prison plate, the guy giving you the food can see your hand tattoos and he might give you a little more schlop.

00:26:17.000 Because he's in your gang.

00:26:20.000 So the snitch has his pitbull with him at all times. 1.00

00:26:22.000 Like, I'm gonna get fucking killed. 1.00

00:26:24.000 I fucked up. 1.00

00:26:25.000 And then the dude, the drug dealer sees him and he goes, oh there you are. 1.00

00:26:31.000 He was about half a block away.

00:26:33.000 And he goes, yo my man! 0.99

00:26:35.000 He's like fuck fuck this and he just released the pitbull he goes sick him so the pitbull is charging at him and the story goes that the drug dealer was like 1.00

00:26:50.000 He's waiting as the thing's galloping towards him, and then when it does the PACHOOM! 1.00

00:26:55.000 The leap, he just goes fuckin' BOOSH! 1.00

00:26:57.000 Damn. 1.00

00:26:59.000 It gives it a overhand right, knocks it out, it just goes BOOM! 1.00

00:27:03.000 Wow.

00:27:05.000 And is lying on the ground. 0.99

00:27:06.000 That's fucking awesome. 0.98

00:27:07.000 Of course, our dog owner fans will be furious about that story. 0.97

00:27:10.000 I feel like that probably feels like the feeling of that is probably like, um, I want to say not like punching a shark cause that's different, but.

00:27:21.000 Oh, you have a hand tattoo.

00:27:23.000 I forgot.

00:27:24.000 Cause I don't ever douche display.

00:27:26.000 I don't do that.

00:27:27.000 What is it?

00:27:28.000 It's, it's the tea tree.

00:27:30.000 It's the symbol for my old band.

00:27:32.000 Ah,

00:27:33.000 My old band.

00:27:35.000 What are you, Joe Biden?

00:27:36.000 It's not a joke!

00:27:37.000 It's my old band.

00:27:39.000 Yeah, kids used to rub my legs when I played shows. 0.99

00:27:44.000 Kids in the neighborhood would be on stage and rub the hairs on my legs.

00:27:47.000 My old band!

00:27:49.000 You should see all the cute groupies.

00:27:50.000 I was in the Wiggles.

00:27:54.000 I used to tour with Teletubbies. 0.58

00:27:56.000 I'd be sniffing kids after every show.

00:27:59.000 A free meat and sniff after the show, man.

00:28:01.000 Come on. 1.00

00:28:02.000 I've sniffed so many kids I got a fucking sinus infection. 0.99

00:28:04.000 Barney was my teammate, man. 0.98

00:28:07.000 I used to clip my nose hairs so it wouldn't impede the smell.

00:28:10.000 I had to clip the hairs on my Elmo costume, man.

00:28:12.000 Not a joke!

00:28:13.000 Not a joke.

00:28:15.000 Okay, so here's from the Trump arrest.

00:28:18.000 Rappaport showed up.

00:28:19.000 What are you doing, dude?

00:28:20.000 What are you doing?

00:28:21.000 So he shows up, and I guess he assumes because he hates Trump, he's going to be down with the lefties.

00:28:27.000 But they hate famous people.

00:28:28.000 They hate everyone.

00:28:30.000 Antifa hates everyone. 1.00

00:28:32.000 So here is Rappaport talking about how he's going to fuck them in the ass. 1.00

00:28:37.000 I'll explain that in a second. 1.00

00:28:40.000 Look at him.

00:28:41.000 Nobody's going anywhere.

00:28:43.000 Don't make the mistake.

00:28:45.000 Don't make the mistake, mama.

00:28:46.000 Dude, let me tell you something.

00:28:49.000 If you move somewhere when you're 18, by the time you're 50, your accent's gone and it sounds like the people there. 0.54

00:28:56.000 Not 100%, but if you move to Britain when you're 18, you're gonna have, you're gonna say war.

00:29:03.000 Like Andrew Tate does. 0.86

00:29:04.000 You're not gonna be the same fucking New York dude from Queen and I bet you his dad's a rich LA like director so I bet he grew up in like Soho or something. 0.95

00:29:14.000 Which doesn't have an accent and never did. 0.98

00:29:17.000 Maybe Bill the Butcher days but uh no.

00:29:21.000 Yo don't make that mistake I'm from New York!

00:29:24.000 And that's a chick right? 1.00

00:29:26.000 No it's a dude I have a picture of him. 0.99

00:29:28.000 What's with the weird tits? 1.00

00:29:29.000 Here go to three go to two zero first. 0.98

00:29:32.000 That's exactly what I said on Getter and Telegram and the other social media I'm still allowed on.

00:29:38.000 So that's the guy.

00:29:40.000 Is that a woman's hat? 0.99

00:29:42.000 He's in drag basically.

00:29:44.000 Like that hat is what your Nona wears. 0.82

00:29:47.000 That's an Italian grandma hat. 1.00

00:29:48.000 It's a black pussy hat. 1.00

00:29:51.000 Men don't wear that. 1.00

00:29:53.000 And then look at his moobs. 1.00

00:29:54.000 He's got beautiful tits. 1.00

00:29:56.000 This guy's never been in a fight. 0.99

00:29:57.000 He's never been punched in the nose.

00:29:59.000 And he knows that he can walk, talk to celebrities with impunity because they never risk getting sued.

00:30:06.000 Especially Jewish celebrities because they don't want to lose their money.

00:30:10.000 Just kidding.

00:30:12.000 Don't make the mistake. 0.99

00:30:13.000 Get the fuck out. 1.00

00:30:20.000 That whole body shape is absurd. 1.00

00:30:22.000 It's rough.

00:30:23.000 It's like your mom's friend.

00:30:24.000 Yeah.

00:30:25.000 And you're kind of uncomfortable when she's around because you know she just got divorced and you're scared she's gonna put those ideas in your wife's head. 0.71

00:30:31.000 She's got all fag-hag friends and she goes out for like $300 lunches because she got so much money from her ex. 1.00

00:30:45.000 What is the purpose of this? 0.93

00:30:46.000 What's the guy behind doing?

00:30:47.000 He's going from portrait to landscape?

00:30:51.000 Are you filming?

00:30:55.000 Get him out of here?

00:30:57.000 There's some like lefty dude.

00:30:58.000 He looks familiar.

00:30:59.000 I think I've seen him.

00:31:00.000 Looks like his mic doesn't work.

00:31:05.000 So you're gonna walk around the corner and have a fistfight and no one's gonna follow you?

00:31:15.000 That's what I thought.

00:31:16.000 They're obviously gonna follow you, genius.

00:31:19.000 See, this is a funny part. 0.99

00:31:38.000 Shit talking for Gen X, a lot of it we stole from Mike Tyson. 1.00

00:31:43.000 And Mike Tyson has a prison background, so he would talk about making someone his bitch, and then he would exaggerate that and say, hey, you're gonna suck my dick and I'm gonna fuck you. 1.00

00:31:51.000 In the context of 80s and 90s tough guy talk, it does sound kinda scary. 1.00

00:31:56.000 Like, I'm gonna face fuck you, you're gonna be my bitch. 1.00

00:31:59.000 It hasn't aged well. 1.00

00:32:01.000 And now you just sound like an angry homosexual. 0.99

00:32:04.000 And Zoomers and millennials, they're like, you're gonna what? 1.00

00:32:09.000 Now I don't even, now I like you because you're gay. 1.00

00:32:12.000 So now he's like, oh sorry Michael, I didn't know you were gay.

00:32:15.000 You're cool now.

00:32:17.000 Generation gap.

00:32:27.000 Look at that short little communist.

00:32:30.000 You can tell he has a commie podcast.

00:32:33.000 Communists want, short people want communism because it's a grand equalizer. 1.00

00:32:38.000 So chicks will have to fuck you. 1.00

00:32:40.000 You'll have to have friends. 1.00

00:32:43.000 Speaking of homosexuality, Dylan Mulvaney's ramping it up, dude. 0.85

00:32:47.000 He's ramping it up. 0.93

00:33:06.000 He is now the face of Nike.

00:33:08.000 Nike.

00:33:09.000 In Canada we used to say Nike.

00:33:11.000 And we say Husker-do.

00:33:13.000 I think you say Husker-do in America.

00:33:16.000 And Nike, right?

00:33:17.000 I say Nike, but I say Husker-do because I only know of it from you.

00:33:21.000 Ah, well you're learning.

00:33:23.000 Do you also say us, and women, and buried?

00:33:26.000 And Dr. Zeus.

00:33:28.000 What is it?

00:33:29.000 Well he wrote all the coloring books with the, all those books with the lightning bolt.

00:33:33.000 Dr. Zeus.

00:33:35.000 It's Zeus.

00:33:36.000 Oh, it's Seuss?

00:33:37.000 It's Seuss.

00:33:38.000 That's Seuss.

00:33:39.000 Do you ever get a massage by a Mazoos? 1.00

00:33:43.000 That's where she uses electricity. 1.00

00:33:46.000 These lightning bolts can really help your chakra.

00:33:49.000 Trust me, it's good in the long run.

00:33:52.000 Don't go back to me, I want to see the video.

00:33:54.000 The great thing about Dylan, by the way, is that he doesn't do any work.

00:33:59.000 By the way, let me just make something clear about Dylan Mulvaney.

00:34:02.000 He doesn't think he's coming across as a woman. 0.99

00:34:05.000 He's just fucking around. 0.99

00:34:08.000 And the right, for the most part, doesn't really get it. 1.00

00:34:13.000 They don't get that this is all a dumb game. 0.99

00:34:16.000 Stop, stop, stop. 1.00

00:34:18.000 This is a dumb game. 0.99

00:34:20.000 He's like an artist, really. 1.00

00:34:22.000 It's almost like Ye's antisemitism. 1.00

00:34:24.000 It's just like a dumb show. 0.98

00:34:26.000 I think the women who put these things out and pay him, these marketing women, they don't get the joke. 1.00

00:34:34.000 They're doing it to say, fuck you, conservatives. 1.00

00:34:36.000 Conservatives are going, fuck you. 1.00

00:34:38.000 Well, fuck you, too. 1.00

00:34:39.000 Dylan, meanwhile, is just like, I'm doing a silly dance and everyone's fighting and I'm getting tons of attention. 1.00

00:34:44.000 That's how deep it is.

00:34:45.000 There's zero depth to Dylan Mulvaney.

00:34:48.000 Anyway, sorry.

00:34:48.000 Look how half-assed this ad is he did for Nike, who spends millions of dollars on their ads.

00:34:54.000 Turn it up.

00:34:58.000 I'm actually kind of liking him now.

00:35:02.000 Because it's such a good parody.

00:35:03.000 It's almost punk rock.

00:35:05.000 That you infiltrated.

00:35:06.000 He's like a perfect mockery of everything on the left.

00:35:11.000 Yeah, that's your team. 1.00

00:35:14.000 He's just an idiot. 1.00

00:35:15.000 Turn it up. 1.00

00:35:18.000 Yeah, high knees.

00:35:21.000 You're showing your cards that you don't deserve this. 1.00

00:35:25.000 Yeah, like I'm a fucking spaz. 0.99

00:35:26.000 I don't even know how to work out. 1.00

00:35:27.000 I'm a lazy sod. 0.95

00:35:30.000 I'm a lazy sid. 0.99

00:35:31.000 Look, I cut my face up. 1.00

00:35:33.000 Fuck off. 1.00

00:35:35.000 It's all a joke. 1.00

00:35:36.000 Life's a fucking joke. 0.99

00:35:39.000 Nike angers feminists after choosing controversial trans influencer Dylan Mulvaney as the new face of its women's sports bra, days after Bud Light was slammed for putting it on. 1.00

00:35:48.000 I have been through this. 0.99

00:35:50.000 With so many motherfucking people, I'm going to have an aneurysm. 0.99

00:35:53.000 Yo, you're not joining the boycott? 1.00

00:35:56.000 Guys, I am toxic. 0.56

00:35:59.000 I am brand death. 1.00

00:36:02.000 So, yes, I think you should boycott Amheiser-Busch for this bullshit. 0.99

00:36:07.000 I am doing the opposite. 0.99

00:36:09.000 And so are Proud Boys.

00:36:11.000 Nike is now the official shoe of Proud Boys. 1.00

00:36:13.000 Fuck that, they're gay! 1.00

00:36:15.000 I don't wanna- Yeah. 1.00

00:36:17.000 How can you not get this concept?

00:36:20.000 If I, look what we did to Fred Perry.

00:36:22.000 Fred Perry's over.

00:36:23.000 It was big in the 50s, it's done.

00:36:26.000 So if Gavin McInnes, Proud Boys, Nick Fuentes, anyone else who's known as evil endorses your product, it's bad for the product.

00:36:35.000 As far as sales go, I drink about five a day.

00:36:39.000 That's five bucks a day.

00:36:40.000 Profits are probably, I don't know, one buck?

00:36:43.000 I hear they overbrew their beer.

00:36:45.000 So let's say I give them one buck a day.

00:36:48.000 It's not that important.

00:36:49.000 What's important is that Nike and Bud Light are associated with Proud Boys and Gavin.

00:36:54.000 Okay?

00:36:55.000 Got it?

00:36:58.000 Like Pit Vipers.

00:37:00.000 What?

00:37:01.000 Pit Vipers and Baked Alaska.

00:37:05.000 That's part of their identity now.

00:37:07.000 That they are the alt-right sunglasses.

00:37:09.000 And they keep taking Baked Alaska's money and giving it to charity?

00:37:13.000 Like, no, it's over, dude.

00:37:14.000 Hey, Pit Vipers, you lost.

00:37:17.000 You lost. 1.00

00:37:18.000 Yeah, those are the fucking... Baked one. 1.00

00:37:20.000 Baked glasses.

00:37:21.000 And he's out, by the way.

00:37:23.000 Oh, really?

00:37:23.000 He's already done his time?

00:37:24.000 Yeah, a couple, like, maybe two weeks ago?

00:37:26.000 I like Baked Alaska, but he's one of the most fragile people I've ever met.

00:37:30.000 Oh, because of that prank?

00:37:31.000 We met these Christian dudes when I was with Milo.

00:37:34.000 What were we doing down there? 1.00

00:37:36.000 Oh, we went to the gay shooting the day after and said, fuck Islam and kissed. 1.00

00:37:41.000 Pulse Nightclub? 1.00

00:37:43.000 Who the fuck is this? 1.00

00:37:44.000 Avi Amini. 1.00

00:37:44.000 What are you talking about, Dave? 1.00

00:37:47.000 I thought you looked familiar.

00:37:47.000 I love you.

00:37:49.000 What are you talking about?

00:37:52.000 And then these Christians saw we were there and they knew what we were there for. 0.63

00:37:56.000 And so they did a group prayer around us.

00:37:59.000 They held hands and did a group prayer.

00:38:00.000 And Milo and I are like, that's a nice gesture.

00:38:02.000 Appreciate it.

00:38:02.000 Thank you.

00:38:03.000 Dude, Baked was bawling his eyes out.

00:38:06.000 Oh, like emotionally, he was emotionally touched?

00:38:09.000 And then the other, I know the story you're talking about where my brother at a, at a West Fest for no reason said, dude, you just got some dude with a hypodermic needle just walked by and poked you.

00:38:09.000 Yeah.

00:38:18.000 And he's like, what?

00:38:21.000 What does that mean?

00:38:21.000 Yeah.

00:38:22.000 Got AIDS in it?

00:38:23.000 Did he, did you feel it?

00:38:23.000 Why would you do that?

00:38:24.000 He goes, no.

00:38:25.000 When?

00:38:26.000 He's gone now.

00:38:27.000 It was so good.

00:38:28.000 What a weird thing to do.

00:38:29.000 That was very cruel of my brother.

00:38:31.000 My brother's not a nice guy.

00:38:32.000 But how did he detect that?

00:38:33.000 I'm sorry, how did he detect that he'd be the kind of guy that would fall for that?

00:38:37.000 Like nobody would fall for that, right?

00:38:39.000 How did he know that Baked would be like one of like the 1%? 1.00

00:38:41.000 Like it couldn't have gone better.

00:38:43.000 It was perfect.

00:38:43.000 Like we ate dinner.

00:38:44.000 Baked was crying.

00:38:45.000 He was begging my brother to admit he was lying.

00:38:48.000 Yeah.

00:38:48.000 No, he said, please, he said, dude, he said, uh, let me, he said my Baked Alaska impression.

00:38:52.000 He's like, dude, dude, no, please, please.

00:38:54.000 That didn't happen, right?

00:38:55.000 Please.

00:38:56.000 He's like, I can't take back what happened, no matter how much you say please.

00:39:00.000 We were eating dinner and then it came up, he's like, but no, he, like, this was an hour and a half afterwards.

00:39:04.000 He was like, so you saw it?

00:39:07.000 He wouldn't stop.

00:39:08.000 It's like he got stabbed with a razor.

00:39:09.000 I think my brother got bored of the prank, too.

00:39:11.000 He's like, I'm just lying, dude.

00:39:12.000 Calm down.

00:39:13.000 Stop crying.

00:39:15.000 Purpleworks pre-workout.

00:39:16.000 It's the pre-workout I use.

00:39:18.000 By the way, Ryan, we got a letter.

00:39:20.000 The prickles on my hands are not what you say it is.

00:39:22.000 It's something else.

00:39:24.000 I think it's, I mean, I've gotten, I've used beta alanine.

00:39:26.000 It gives you the prickles.

00:39:27.000 It's known to do that.

00:39:28.000 Oops.

00:39:28.000 I know, but you, you just guess stuff and then you present it like it's fact.

00:39:32.000 I'll look it up.

00:39:32.000 It's not a guess.

00:39:33.000 Beta alanine tingles.

00:39:35.000 Someone wrote in and said the tingles are not from beta alanine.

00:39:39.000 They're from blah, blah, blah. 0.99

00:39:40.000 I don't know anything about this shit. 1.00

00:39:42.000 Here we go. 0.99

00:39:43.000 I got plenty of articles here.

00:39:44.000 Beta?

00:39:45.000 Is that what it's called?

00:39:46.000 Beta alanine, yeah.

00:39:47.000 I've taken this, there's articles written about this.

00:39:49.000 By the way, the thing we're arguing about right now is, um,

00:39:52.000 It's in there.

00:39:53.000 What's alanine?

00:39:54.000 A-L-I-N? 0.99

00:39:55.000 Yeah, look.

00:39:56.000 What causes beta alanine itch and how to treat it?

00:39:58.000 It causes itching, yeah, and you feel tingly.

00:40:02.000 Alanine?

00:40:04.000 I have an article right here.

00:40:06.000 Why does beta alanine make me tingle?

00:40:07.000 It's one of the most useful, used in professional comment, commended supplements into athletes and to professionals who enhance the capacity of exercise and train.

00:40:17.000 It has a... I'm sorry.

00:40:18.000 A-L-A-N-I-N-E. 1.00

00:40:21.000 A-L... It's on the screen here, yeah.

00:40:21.000 Yes.

00:40:23.000 A-L-A-N-I-N-E. 1.00

00:40:26.000 It says, once again, Ryan is a moron. 1.00

00:40:29.000 The prickle feeling you are getting from Purple Workout is niacin, not beta alanine. 1.00

00:40:33.000 Oh, niacin also does that, yes.

00:40:35.000 But beta alanine does that too.

00:40:37.000 Okay.

00:40:38.000 There's articles.

00:40:39.000 Everybody knows it.

00:40:39.000 Alright, alright.

00:40:40.000 It's a combo of... One of my pet peeves is when people say things with authority and they're guessing.

00:40:44.000 I'm not accusing you of that right now.

00:40:46.000 Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.

00:40:47.000 But that email is, and... I don't know.

00:40:49.000 You remember World Peace 2, the CEO sketch?

00:40:53.000 You might not remember it, but Eric Hayden did it, and he was like the boss, and he was like eating niacin pills.

00:40:59.000 It makes you red, and it makes you tingle and itch.

00:41:01.000 We can talk to him about that.

00:41:02.000 What I've noticed, by the way, so I get the tingles from Purple Works, and then I go do my workout.

00:41:07.000 I got this second wind halfway through the workout.

00:41:09.000 I take it,

00:41:11.000 Half an hour before I work out.

00:41:13.000 And then the prickles go away.

00:41:15.000 And if I don't work out, the prickles remain.

00:41:15.000 Yes.

00:41:17.000 That's correct.

00:41:18.000 You know what my wife told me?

00:41:19.000 She said there's a new thing called dry shots, where ravers are doing a shot of pre-workout and then washing it down with, I don't know what.

00:41:27.000 Dry scooping.

00:41:28.000 Dry scooping, that's it.

00:41:29.000 And then they go rave. 1.00

00:41:31.000 That's fucked up. 0.99

00:41:33.000 That's not recommended. 0.99

00:41:34.000 And if you sit still, you will, like you said, you'll be like, I need to get up and start.

00:41:39.000 Like it'll get you up.

00:41:41.000 Do not take this if you're not going to work out.

00:41:43.000 That's annoying.

00:41:43.000 If you're on a plane.

00:41:44.000 That's a bad idea.

00:41:45.000 Imagine being on a plane taking a scoop.

00:41:48.000 Well, I told you, I do not do an entire scoop.

00:41:51.000 I think I'm very sensitive to anything speedy.

00:41:53.000 Like, I remember when I would try Adderall, I'd only do like a quarter of a pill.

00:41:57.000 Oh yeah.

00:41:58.000 That'll do it.

00:41:59.000 I couldn't imagine doing that.

00:42:00.000 And then even then, I'd do it at 7am, and even then at 11pm I'd have trouble getting to bed.

00:42:05.000 Or midnight.

00:42:05.000 Anyway, Purpleworks Pink Lemonade Pre-Workout enhances your strength, energy, and focus to get you ready for even the most strenuous workouts you have planned.

00:42:12.000 Their products are made in the good ol' USA, and unlike a few other pre-workout companies who sometimes operate in a Wild Wild West scenario, Purpleworks Nutrition's

00:42:22.000 Pink Lemonade pre-workout is manufactured in an FDA registered facility that is also GMP certified.

00:42:29.000 Purpleworks not only enhances today's workout, but bolsters tomorrow's as well.

00:42:33.000 Each scoop contains vitamins to aid in and support immune health, muscle and tissue repair.

00:42:38.000 There are no artificial dyes or sweeteners and no preservatives.

00:42:41.000 It's an expertly crafted blend of high quality creatine, caffeine, carnosine, beta alanine and more.

00:42:49.000 So he didn't mention niacin.

00:42:51.000 Well, it seems like this writer might be wrong.

00:42:54.000 Simply add 8 to 10 ounces of water in your shaker, which they also sell for a great low price, and you are ready to hit the gym and get your day started.

00:43:01.000 Check them out at purpleworksnutrition.com and enter promo code GAVIN for 15% off.

00:43:06.000 The promo code will work now and will continue to work in the future if this ends up being the pre-workout you rely on.

00:43:12.000 And this probably isn't good to say, but I don't do pre-workout every day.

00:43:18.000 I work out every day.

00:43:20.000 But I like to, like, sometimes I'll do coffee, sometimes I'll do nothing.

00:43:23.000 I think you should mix it up.

00:43:23.000 Yeah.

00:43:24.000 Absolutely.

00:43:25.000 I totally agree.

00:43:27.000 All right, let's jump over to some Proud Boys.

00:43:30.000 All right.

00:43:32.000 Let's do that.

00:43:33.000 Probably right now.

00:43:35.000 G'day. 0.97

00:43:36.000 Stand back.

00:43:37.000 Stand by.

00:43:38.000 Proud Boys.

00:43:39.000 Proud Boys.

00:43:40.000 Proud Boys.

00:43:43.000 Somebody's got to do something about Antifa and the left.

00:43:46.000 Antifa's an idea, not an organization.

00:44:00.000 You've got to add Bud Light and Nike to that montage now. 0.99

00:44:04.000 Oh shit. 0.99

00:44:05.000 It's got to be done. 0.99

00:44:11.000 Okay, I haven't been covering the trial because that could be an entire show.

00:44:15.000 Julie Kelly is the best one. 0.65

00:44:16.000 There's some other law dude who live tweets the the trial, but Julie Kelly's the the top expert. 0.96

00:44:26.000 I'm sorry.

00:44:27.000 I just, if I covered this trial the way it should be covered, it would honestly be an hour a day.

00:44:32.000 For example, go to 2-2.

00:44:37.000 They've now discovered 4T.

00:44:40.000 Now, are they agents?

00:44:41.000 No.

00:44:42.000 Undercover informants.

00:44:44.000 So again, I've said this a million times, my understanding is you find a proud boy, you catch him doing something wrong like coke or whatever, you go, look, you can go to jail for six years or you can be an informant.

00:44:53.000 The guy says, always chooses informant.

00:44:55.000 And then he doesn't have anything to inform.

00:44:58.000 But what I find relevant about this filing is,

00:45:02.000 If there were so many FBI operatives, we'll call them, within the club, then there's two possibilities here.

00:45:10.000 Either they had no plan for the January 6th insurrection, I almost said resurrection, either there was no plan for Jan 6th, in which case let Joe Biggs and Zach and Ethan free, or option two, you knew about the plan and let it happen anyway.

00:45:27.000 In which case, the FBI is complicit in treason, which is also pretty bad and should also, by the way, lead to a mistrial and get those guys out of jail.

00:45:38.000 So which is it?

00:45:41.000 Help me out here.

00:45:42.000 Go back to the thing.

00:45:45.000 No, what Julie says about it?

00:45:48.000 Like, this thread alone would take up a half hour of the show.

00:45:51.000 Like, 40 is a massive chapter.

00:46:08.000 I don't think I've been to a meetup with Proud Boys where there was more than 40 guys.

00:46:12.000 There was the one in New York City, which doesn't exist anymore, as far as Proud Boys go, after Ethan Nordin delivered that knockout punch.

00:46:19.000 Remember that?

00:46:19.000 Were you there for that?

00:46:20.000 There was a hundred dudes there?

00:46:22.000 No, I don't think I was there.

00:46:23.000 It was shoulder to shoulder.

00:46:24.000 And I don't like that.

00:46:25.000 They always say that you're trying to recruit.

00:46:27.000 Recruit?

00:46:28.000 No, don't recruit.

00:46:29.000 You don't want... A good chapter is like 15 guys.

00:46:35.000 And you can make jokes and hang out with each other.

00:46:38.000 I've been told I'm testifying, by the way, at the trial.

00:46:42.000 And you know what that's going to be?

00:46:43.000 It's going to be the same as Max and John. 1.00

00:46:45.000 They're going to go through thousands of hours and have me saying, like, fuck shit up, like the one they love is Choke-A-Tranny. 1.00

00:46:55.000 I'll probably take that out of context. 1.00

00:46:57.000 And the context is Antifa were going up to Trump supporters spitting in their faces, I wasn't there for this or I would have done something, and then saying, I'm a woman, you can't hit me! 1.00

00:47:07.000 And the fucking idiots who were being spat on were complying. 1.00

00:47:11.000 And just going, security! 1.00

00:47:12.000 With spit on their face.

00:47:13.000 Security!

00:47:14.000 Security!

00:47:15.000 We need to get back to that dude with the pitbull.

00:47:21.000 Or without the pitbull, I should say.

00:47:25.000 So that's a doozy.

00:47:27.000 Dave Portnoy was called a proud boy.

00:47:30.000 I guess it's an adjective now.

00:47:31.000 It just means Nazi. 1.00

00:47:33.000 To dumb people. 1.00

00:47:35.000 Is there a timecode on that? 1.00

00:47:38.000 Well, you can tell on the right where they are.

00:47:40.000 I love Dave Portnoy.

00:47:43.000 I love seeing entrepreneurs be successful. 0.99

00:47:52.000 This audio sucks. 0.96

00:47:56.000 It's crazy that they're that rich and that's what it sounds like. 0.99

00:48:00.000 You can't get lav?

00:48:01.000 I'll buy your lavs.

00:48:02.000 The guy's got a lav on, it's just they're using the cam audio, I think, for him.

00:48:07.000 For everybody.

00:48:08.000 It's so echoey.

00:48:09.000 It's crazy.

00:48:10.000 Also, your lav is weighing your shirt down and it looks sloppy.

00:48:20.000 Before we sag, I'm going to have to put you in a box during this.

00:48:24.000 Your ace, Marcus Strowman.

00:48:29.000 He is the worst guy on the planet.

00:48:33.000 I don't even care about that. 0.99

00:48:38.000 If you say anything, he calls you a Nazi.

00:48:42.000 He pitched well yesterday, and I want him to pitch well for the Cubs, but what I would say is,

00:48:49.000 Wait, the pitcher of the Cubs called Dave Portnoy a proud boy?

00:49:02.000 Like a real, like, bona fide number one ace would say, would try to put you in a box and then go out and show.

00:49:09.000 I gotta show you something.

00:49:10.000 But yeah, I'm rooting for him.

00:49:11.000 I want him to do this as well.

00:49:12.000 Listen, and I don't mind going back and forth.

00:49:14.000 I actually asked some people, like he's in here, he kept responding to it, but he caught it.

00:49:19.000 So if you missed it, I did a three-team parlay baseball and 0.99

00:49:24.000 I don't know what the fuck they're talking about. 0.99

00:49:32.000 KFC's that guy. 1.00

00:49:33.000 I have enough trouble following the Mets.

00:49:35.000 What's KFC?

00:49:36.000 It's that guy with the always the worst takes?

00:49:39.000 Because you're a Proud Boy.

00:49:39.000 Okay.

00:49:40.000 Now, I googled what Proud Boy actually means because I wasn't even sure.

00:49:50.000 I think it means you're a Nazi.

00:49:52.000 I think pretty much you're calling somebody a Nazi.

00:49:54.000 So, Kevin's like, I don't like the WBC. 0.93

00:49:57.000 You're a Nazi.

00:49:58.000 So I just threw the Brewers in and someone's like, don't bet against the Cubs on opening day. 0.94

00:50:02.000 It's like, well, I don't like Struman.

00:50:04.000 He's a little baby.

00:50:05.000 He called me a proud boy.

00:50:06.000 He's like, how's that proud boy?

00:50:08.000 You soft little.

00:50:09.000 So funny.

00:50:09.000 It's like, why do you call everybody?

00:50:11.000 Wait, go back.

00:50:12.000 It's like, what proud boy?

00:50:14.000 Marcus Struman. 0.90

00:50:15.000 Bad bet you privilege little petty, weak, soft, proud boy. 0.88

00:50:22.000 What a weird insult. 0.89

00:50:23.000 I think you misspelled hard-working, entrepreneurial, maniacal, man-child pity, yes.

00:50:27.000 So Marcus Strowman is a picture for the Cubs, I guess.

00:50:31.000 Alright, keep going, keep going.

00:50:34.000 Oh, he's black. 1.00

00:50:35.000 Alright, that's enough of that.

00:50:52.000 Do they think it means, like, good old boy?

00:50:53.000 Like, oh, you must be a proud boy. 0.56

00:50:56.000 No, it means you're a Nazi. 0.54

00:51:01.000 And that's, like, I can't fix that.

00:51:03.000 I used to spend thousands of dollars suing people, and it's just like, did that change anything?

00:51:09.000 You have to send out a lawyer letter every day.

00:51:12.000 What am I going to do, sue Marcus Stroman?

00:51:16.000 Uh, here's Giannis Papas getting it powerfully wrong.

00:51:19.000 Promo code FUMES.

00:51:21.000 And they call themselves the Proud Boys.

00:51:25.000 Part of it is fashion.

00:51:26.000 It's cool.

00:51:27.000 It gives him something to do. 1.00

00:51:29.000 And it's just humans are stupid, man. 1.00

00:51:31.000 When can we just say this is stupid? 1.00

00:51:33.000 Why? 1.00

00:51:34.000 This guy has no insight that in a couple of years he's going to look back at this the way I look back at my haircut in eighth grade.

00:51:42.000 It looked like someone stuck a bowl over my head and cut the sides.

00:51:45.000 Being the chairman of the Proud Boys was the greatest moment in Enrique's life.

00:51:50.000 And he will always look back at that as his peak.

00:51:54.000 Yeah, it's a vehicle for your patriotism.

00:51:55.000 How do you not know that?

00:51:56.000 Look at him! 1.00

00:51:57.000 You know how much pussy this guy was getting? 1.00

00:52:04.000 You know why, by the way, Giannis is saying this? 1.00

00:52:06.000 Because a black guy is the head of a white supremacist organization. 0.85

00:52:09.000 So again, when people get information that contradicts their beliefs, they become more steadfast in those beliefs. 0.99

00:52:17.000 So this dummy assumes that Enrique's dumb and he's just a member of a... The possibility that the Proud Boys are not white nationalists has never occurred to him. 0.96

00:52:30.000 Unfortunately, this kid is 40-something.

00:52:32.000 And look at him.

00:52:33.000 Yeah, so maybe you're wrong. 1.00

00:52:34.000 He thinks people only do things for fashion, and then they can look back and be like, I was such an idiot. 1.00

00:52:39.000 He's a Cuban, okay? 1.00

00:52:41.000 He doesn't like Marxism.

00:52:42.000 It destroyed his family. 0.99

00:52:44.000 He escaped a socialist, tyrannical shithole. 1.00

00:52:50.000 And like all Cubans in Miami, he fucking hates Marxism. 1.00

00:52:55.000 Could that be what's driving him? 1.00

00:52:57.000 Not white supremacy?

00:52:59.000 Is that possible? 1.00

00:53:00.000 What a moron. 1.00

00:53:01.000 You'll notice, by the way, stupid people say stupid a lot. 1.00

00:53:04.000 Stupid! 1.00

00:53:05.000 You're so stupid! 1.00

00:53:08.000 I mean, why does he look like Tom Cruise on his way to a jet in the movie? 1.00

00:53:12.000 He's got a vest on.

00:53:14.000 Top Gun?

00:53:15.000 Top Gun, the coolest movie in the world?

00:53:16.000 Gear on. 1.00

00:53:17.000 He's got gear on because he's been stabbed multiple times, moron. 1.00

00:53:21.000 And then he goes back to a suburban, he goes back to a split ranch home, wearing that. 1.00

00:53:27.000 That's not true.

00:53:27.000 And his mom goes... He's broke.

00:53:29.000 His mom, he's 47, he has kids.

00:53:32.000 How was your night out?

00:53:34.000 You know, me and the fellas are preparing for civil war.

00:53:34.000 And he goes, pretty good.

00:53:37.000 And she's going, what?

00:53:39.000 I can't hear you anyway.

00:53:40.000 What do you want for dinner?

00:53:42.000 What straw man comedy is this?

00:53:45.000 I don't even, I can't even be offended by this.

00:53:47.000 This 47 year old goes home to his mother.

00:53:49.000 Is his mother even alive?

00:53:51.000 This is so off the mark.

00:53:52.000 It's almost like, I don't think he's talking about the right thing.

00:53:55.000 They put the wrong graphic. 0.92

00:53:55.000 I'm going to make up a character and then talk about what a loser that character is. 0.92

00:53:59.000 This guy can eat. 0.71

00:54:01.000 He's got a home, he's got a roof over his head.

00:54:04.000 People have roofs over their homes.

00:54:06.000 Okay.

00:54:06.000 The problem is people don't know how lucky they are because they don't deserve any of that.

00:54:10.000 We're all just living on the backs of smart people, genius people, who can build stuff, created stuff, gave us electricity. 0.99

00:54:18.000 We're also on the backs of people that created a revolution where we're getting fucked with by Britain and shit. 0.99

00:54:22.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:54:23.000 And also, those geniuses can design all the buildings they want, they need working class people to build them. 1.00

00:54:29.000 So what are you talking about?

00:54:30.000 What is he, pro-elites?

00:54:33.000 This is what we do with it.

00:54:34.000 It's a waste.

00:54:36.000 Fight to save America and the Western world.

00:54:39.000 This is what we do with it.

00:54:40.000 Try to prevent kids from getting stripped in front of.

00:54:42.000 That's what we waste our freedom on. 1.00

00:54:45.000 What are you guys having awesome parties in Vegas and all over the world and having camaraderie and a brotherhood that you guys could rely on each other when the world says you're a fucking outcast and you need to go fuck yourself? 0.99

00:54:53.000 You're wasting your time trying to maintain the Constitution and save America from itself. 0.99

00:54:57.000 Why don't you just laugh at stuff like me?

00:54:59.000 Yeah, come on. 0.77

00:55:00.000 Why don't you do a podcast where you get everything completely wrong? 0.93

00:55:03.000 Why don't you dress like a chick like a Latina chick and try to make people laffies? 1.00

00:55:06.000 Have a little laffy waffy. 0.97

00:55:08.000 A post.

00:55:09.000 Which we also do, but we also don't.

00:55:11.000 I can't see his shirt.

00:55:13.000 Because he's behind the camera.

00:55:14.000 It's just a fully black shirt.

00:55:15.000 It's just that L.A.

00:55:16.000 Ricky Gervais thing. 1.00

00:55:17.000 Yeah, they love no-branded shit. 1.00

00:55:20.000 Like Joaquin Phoenix in that black hoodie. 1.00

00:55:23.000 And then if you looked at, uh, what's his face?

00:55:25.000 Michael Rappaport.

00:55:26.000 No-brand hat, no-brand... What's around his neck?

00:55:28.000 Is that a silver chain?

00:55:30.000 A little silver chain for the guy.

00:55:31.000 He could use gold.

00:55:33.000 I think his skin tone has reached the gold area. 1.00

00:55:34.000 Silver is for pussies. 1.00

00:55:36.000 Oof. 1.00

00:55:37.000 You heard it here, folks.

00:55:38.000 Anyway, keep going.

00:55:40.000 Of my father-in-law's neighbor who's a doctor and his son is a brain surgeon and he had to have a tumor removed from his head, right, and then he had to do like 23 hours straight of surgery because doctors are on call like that.

00:55:56.000 So you're saying that Enrique is not as good as a genius brain surgeon who works 24-hour shifts?

00:56:02.000 Okay.

00:56:03.000 Point taken?

00:56:06.000 Hey Enrique, you think you're smart?

00:56:08.000 My friend's brother's father-in-law's neighbor did brain surgery for 23 hours.

00:56:12.000 Okay, I'm definitely not as smart as that guy.

00:56:18.000 What's your point?

00:56:19.000 Nor is any of your audience, P.S.

00:56:21.000 They're not listening to this in the operator. 0.99

00:56:23.000 Meanwhile, the dumbest person that we've seen here, including this guy, this guy, and Enrique, is this guy. 1.00

00:56:30.000 He's dumber than you, Ryan. 1.00

00:56:31.000 You don't think he puts his scrubs on after the honest popper shower? 1.00

00:56:35.000 Like give his family and his kid breakfast.

00:56:37.000 He got into a car accident.

00:56:39.000 Okay, enough.

00:56:39.000 I get it.

00:56:39.000 He's great.

00:56:40.000 Shut the fuck up, you moron. 1.00

00:56:43.000 I used to like that guy. 1.00

00:56:44.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:56:44.000 He's always been a douche. 1.00

00:56:46.000 For real? 0.87

00:56:46.000 Yeah. 0.87

00:56:46.000 Damn it. 0.87

00:56:50.000 I think I was on Red Eye with him once. 0.99

00:56:52.000 Anyway, Proud Boys on Joe Rogan, 2-5, you gotta go find that email. 0.99

00:56:57.000 Oh shit. 0.98

00:56:58.000 I heard Joe Rogan saying that there's more feds in Proud Boys than there are Proud Boys. 0.99

00:57:02.000 For the record, Joe, I've said this before, there's 5,000 Proud Boys around the world, even in that crazy Julie Kelly scenario where they were injected into the club

00:57:14.000 Possibly because of the plans for Jan 6.

00:57:18.000 We got 40.

00:57:19.000 So... Ridiculous amount, don't get me wrong.

00:57:22.000 That's fucking toxic. 1.00

00:57:24.000 But it's not more than the members. 0.99

00:57:26.000 I think he's getting from an article that said there was more FBI-linked Proud Boys than there were non-FBI-linked Proud Boys in the Capitol.

00:57:35.000 So it's a matter of like 7 versus 8.

00:57:39.000 Anyway, people in LA are not known for their facts.

00:57:43.000 50, 20, and I have to get it on, hold on one second.

00:57:47.000 I mean, the FBI, Haas's rescue teams are great guys, but it was likely told and communicated through some kind of agreement between Facebook and the FBI where they say, Hey, here's the blacklist.

00:58:01.000 And I can't prove this, but this is Kyle thinks the same thing.

00:58:04.000 Here's the blacklist, blacklist all these guys and all these organizations because they're potentially extremist.

00:58:10.000 I mean the Three Percenters, the Proud Boys, who we are not any of those. 0.55

00:58:16.000 We are lumped up in the same exact list as that.

00:58:20.000 And it said these guys have a low history of violence. 0.98

00:58:25.000 And I'm like, what the fuck does low history of violence mean? 0.98

00:58:28.000 That's it? 0.98

00:58:28.000 That was a waste of time. 0.98

00:58:29.000 It should be zero.

00:58:31.000 It's low.

00:58:31.000 So Proud Boys are blacklisted on Facebook, we're aware of that.

00:58:34.000 Does Joe Rogan do the mandatory thing where he's like, you know how it was started, man?

00:58:38.000 You know how I got these scars?

00:58:40.000 Gavin Kurt Metzger 1810 It's better be better.

00:58:45.000 Yeah, this is it's got to be in black and white now Kurt Metzger.

00:58:48.000 I know So if he stabs us in the back, I'll be shocked Because he's smart.

00:58:54.000 He's been canceled.

00:58:55.000 Oh, he's got the comedian t-shirt.

00:58:57.000 This looks pretty good for 1810.

00:59:00.000 Wow No, no, it's 1810 minutes in they didn't do these vidcasts in 1810.

00:59:05.000 I was they didn't even do them in 2010.

00:59:06.000 I

00:59:07.000 They didn't?

00:59:08.000 Okay, yeah, I was thinking that makes sense.

00:59:09.000 Yeah.

00:59:10.000 Okay.

00:59:11.000 Cleaned up his thing at the end.

00:59:14.000 They did put that part in it. 1.00

00:59:15.000 Why is Gavin on there as the... You know, the stupid Proud Boys would not even be a thing without the moronic clamping down on free speech. 0.99

00:59:23.000 So that picture that they have at the end where it shows Gavin McGinnis and the Proud Boys as the bad... Here's the terrorism they were engaged in. 1.00

00:59:32.000 They were at Berkeley doing the speech Ann Coulter was going to do, but they said she couldn't come.

00:59:38.000 So that's, like, how is that as the antithesis of George Carlin?

00:59:43.000 Like, we would even be in this position without all the censorship that George Carlin hated.

00:59:48.000 So it's a little bizarre.

00:59:49.000 That's all I think.

00:59:50.000 Yeah, that's what he's talking about.

00:59:52.000 That's valid.

00:59:53.000 That's a while ago now.

00:59:54.000 That was, oh, I used to know that guy.

00:59:56.000 Wait, is that the guy from Comedy Bang Bang?

00:59:58.000 Yeah, I think so.

00:59:59.000 Oh my god.

01:00:01.000 He got old. 1.00

01:00:01.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:00:02.000 No, that's not the guy from Comedy Bang Bang. 1.00

01:00:04.000 Oh, is it?

01:00:05.000 Wait, is it?

01:00:07.000 It looks exactly like him.

01:00:08.000 Well, zoom out.

01:00:09.000 What is the... Kurt Metzger or Wayne Fetterman?

01:00:15.000 Wayne Fetterman.

01:00:16.000 Yeah, that's not him.

01:00:16.000 Okay, cool.

01:00:22.000 Paul, no, Judd Apatow did a movie about George Carlin.

01:00:25.000 And George Carlin's talking about Nazis and fascism.

01:00:28.000 And then the picture uses, well, because it's a bunch of pictures.

01:00:31.000 It's a weird documentary.

01:00:32.000 It's just a PowerPoint presentation.

01:00:34.000 And the picture is me at Berkeley going like this.

01:00:37.000 And the reason I was there is because Ann Coulter had a speech.

01:00:40.000 She was banned. 0.82

01:00:41.000 So I said, Ann, give me the speech.

01:00:43.000 I'll fly down there and I'll just say it on the grounds, like with a bullhorn.

01:00:46.000 That speech has to be made at Berkeley.

01:00:48.000 And the reason I was able to do that despite being mobbed is Proud Boys showed up and surrounded me, so I was able to do the speech.

01:00:54.000 And Judd Apatow used that as an example of fascism and tyranny and how free speech will be shut down.

01:01:01.000 It's actually so inaccurate that it ends up doubling back on itself, and it does make a point.

01:01:06.000 It's not what he was intending to do, but yeah, I was the victim of censorship.

01:01:11.000 But jump ahead, Ryan, to Ann Coulter on the Proud Boys, 2-8.

01:01:17.000 Well, you just saw a little bit of Antifa at my Berkeley speech a couple of years ago.

01:01:24.000 You didn't hear about it because the speech ended up going off without a hitch, thanks to the Bay Area Proud Boys.

01:01:32.000 That's why the Proud Boys have had to be destroyed.

01:01:35.000 But there were about, according to the police, about 5,000 Antifa, 2,000 at one entrance.

01:01:41.000 Yeah, there we go.

01:01:42.000 About 2,000.

01:01:44.000 No one ever interviews Anne.

01:01:46.000 When they're talking about the Proud Boys or Michelle Malkin, people they have saved from attacks.

01:01:53.000 And even Rogan, this whole thing like, man, you can't call for violence, man.

01:01:57.000 Dude, I didn't call for violence.

01:01:59.000 I called for defense.

01:02:01.000 You got to understand the violent situation that Proud Boys was born into.

01:02:05.000 It's a reaction to Antifa violence.

01:02:09.000 They don't go looking for fights.

01:02:10.000 They don't start fights.

01:02:11.000 They finish them.

01:02:14.000 Here's Dave Lando talking about it.

01:02:16.000 I think 30, 43 it says.

01:02:20.000 What's going on with Dave Lando and Steven Crowder?

01:02:22.000 I'd love to get that gossip.

01:02:24.000 Oh, that's unavailable. 1.00

01:02:26.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:02:27.000 Oh, really? 1.00

01:02:28.000 How do I find that?

01:02:28.000 Where's it on?

01:02:30.000 I don't know.

01:02:31.000 Anyway, Dave Lando was talking about the club and said they're cool and he doesn't get the racism thing.

01:02:36.000 He's met them.

01:02:37.000 They're multicultural.

01:02:37.000 He said there's more blacks and Hispanics than there are in the normal population.

01:02:42.000 He was probably in the LA or the New York chapter.

01:02:47.000 Let me see.

01:02:48.000 Wait, did I find it?

01:02:51.000 Proud Boys and Other Evil Movements.

01:02:53.000 Oh yeah!

01:02:53.000 With Dave Landau.

01:02:54.000 White Nationalists, Anti-Semites, and Proud Boys?

01:02:57.000 That's a lot of ads. 0.95

01:02:59.000 Proud Boys have gotten themselves into that list.

01:03:01.000 I feel like the random reader wouldn't even know what that is.

01:03:05.000 Wasn't it based off a song that they thought sounded gay?

01:03:09.000 I don't know what I thought it was.

01:03:11.000 It was some song and he thought it sounded gay, so he called them Proud Boys.

01:03:14.000 But that's like a person who lives in that world.

01:03:16.000 He's like, Proud Boys. 1.00

01:03:18.000 If you just said that to a person in a supermarket, they'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about? 1.00

01:03:22.000 Get away from me. 1.00

01:03:22.000 You know, the fascists, the Nazis, the commies, and the Proud Boys. 1.00

01:03:27.000 All of the great evil movements of the 20th century. 1.00

01:03:33.000 Killers, rapists, Lady Gaga's little monsters. 0.99

01:03:37.000 Funny enough other assorted groups Hitler Stalin McGinnis clown posse's Clown insane clown posse turned on proud boys. 1.00

01:03:50.000 Who's that Shane Gillis? 0.93

01:03:52.000 Oh Andy?

01:03:52.000 No Hey, Andy.

01:03:55.000 I appreciate your bravery and everything, but you make me want to take a nap.

01:03:58.000 Oh

01:04:00.000 And I mean that in the nicest way.

01:04:01.000 You're so soothing.

01:04:03.000 Well, maybe you should take some beta alanine purple workout.

01:04:09.000 Okay.

01:04:10.000 What should I take that with?

01:04:11.000 A milkshake?

01:04:13.000 That's not very funny, Gavin.

01:04:14.000 Why do you give kill lists to Atomwaffen?

01:04:17.000 I don't do that.

01:04:18.000 That's not... Yes, you do.

01:04:19.000 You dox anti-fascist protesters and then hitmen from various nationalist groups use it as a to-do list and then they go kill Antifa.

01:04:28.000 Okay, you're really gonna want to do that with me? 0.75

01:04:31.000 Come on, Gavin.

01:04:32.000 That's so pedestrian.

01:04:36.000 Andy knows one of those guys that doesn't like me and I like him.

01:04:38.000 I like a lot of people that don't like me.

01:04:42.000 Okay, we'll wrap this up now.

01:04:44.000 We got two more.

01:04:46.000 I really want to get to this Isaac Ferguson dude, even though we're way past our bedtime here. 0.83

01:04:53.000 I like this, this gay dude. 1.00

01:04:54.000 He's such a fucking loser and homophobia creeps in when I look at this guy. 1.00

01:05:00.000 I think maybe they are weaker than us. 1.00

01:05:03.000 Maybe they are constantly dealing with mental trauma because they're weird.

01:05:07.000 And you wonder why I don't like you.

01:05:11.000 Talk to the hand.

01:05:13.000 Let me know too.

01:05:15.000 Okay, please be nice.

01:05:15.000 Wait, stop, stop.

01:05:17.000 So this is called Immature Baby and the show is this dude who interviews losers about their financial problems and tries to fix them.

01:05:25.000 They're usually unfixable.

01:05:27.000 Most, most things are.

01:05:28.000 Like, you know, all those, those bar rescue and those places end up bankrupt like a month after Gordon Ramsey or John Taffer, what's his name?

01:05:37.000 Yeah. 0.93

01:05:38.000 A month after they leave like your restaurant sucks cuz you suck It's not that you didn't have a nice a nice enough sign or you should have had trivia night. 1.00

01:05:46.000 You just suck so This guy is trying to help people sort out their financial lives a pretty successful YouTube channel and this is some weird sad homosexual who lives with his parents and he goes just work harder and 1.00

01:06:01.000 And stop going out to eat, which is basically what he says to everyone. 1.00

01:06:05.000 And this guy's like, I've had it really rough and I don't think me going out to eat is the problem.

01:06:11.000 And he goes, it is.

01:06:12.000 And then he just said, well, look, email the show, email this guy if you think that not going out to eat is going to solve his problems.

01:06:20.000 And he goes, yeah, I can take it.

01:06:21.000 Email me.

01:06:22.000 And then he's about to tell you how tough he is.

01:06:25.000 Please be nice to him.

01:06:26.000 Yeah.

01:06:27.000 I'd be happy to hear from everyone.

01:06:32.000 I've gotten hate mail.

01:06:33.000 I've gotten threats from the Proud Boys and Neo-Nazi gangs. 1.00

01:06:36.000 I have been through so much actual shit. 0.99

01:06:40.000 That's just like what they were talking about with Luis Gomez. 0.99

01:06:45.000 What are they called?

01:06:46.000 The Fabulous Rodents?

01:06:47.000 The Skanks? 0.98

01:06:49.000 Oh yeah, the Legion of Skanks. 0.97

01:06:50.000 I misremembered Legion of Skanks as the Fabulous Rodents. 1.00

01:06:54.000 That's so AI of me.

01:06:55.000 That is.

01:06:57.000 But they're saying the same thing.

01:06:58.000 Now it's just in a list.

01:07:00.000 Like three percenters, oath keepers, Nazis, Proud Boys. 1.00

01:07:03.000 It's just like the thing.

01:07:05.000 And not only is it a straw man in that sense, where they go, these guys, they come home to their mommy and they pretend that they're saving the world.

01:07:12.000 But it's also used as a straw man to say like, sorry, I'm late.

01:07:16.000 I was attacked by the Proud Boys.

01:07:20.000 Look up this email, local bookstore.

01:07:23.000 Well, first of all, I will say I'm a proud boy also.

01:07:26.000 And I do threaten him that if I find his address, I'm gonna go to it with a toothbrush and some fluoride.

01:07:33.000 I'm gonna clean up those big old yellow corn teeth.

01:07:37.000 Go ahead.

01:07:39.000 Okay, we have a bookstore here in Riverside, California that borders on parody.

01:07:43.000 They watched the feminist bookstore sketches on Portlandia's guidelines for their business model.

01:07:47.000 By the way, that feminist bookstore that is in Portlandia hates Portlandia and Fred and they're all banned because they finally caught on that they were being ridiculed. 1.00

01:07:57.000 So they can't shoot that show and sketch anymore.

01:08:00.000 Not that Portlandia is still on.

01:08:02.000 This is the only business in all of Riverside that requires you to mask up.

01:08:05.000 Here's the TLDR version.

01:08:07.000 This ghoulish woman was on a month-to-month lease. 1.00

01:08:11.000 Why don't you pull up the picture?

01:08:12.000 The property owner told her to get out by the end of March with seven other tenants in this shopping center.

01:08:17.000 These businesses clearly do not generate revenue.

01:08:20.000 The property owner seems to be condensing the spaces for a new lease agreement.

01:08:24.000 Gotcha.

01:08:24.000 Normal business.

01:08:26.000 This woman blames her eviction as a bigoted harassment attempt. 1.00

01:08:30.000 She has hosted Drag Queen Story Hour and is convinced it's a retaliation.

01:08:34.000 Remember, seven others are also being evicted.

01:08:36.000 She mentions that someone put a Proud Boy sticker on her door as a sign of what's to come, without showing any proof.

01:08:43.000 Yeah, you'd think she'd take a picture of it, right?

01:08:46.000 She has riled up her sycophants to attack the property manager through any digital channel they can, and has lied that she only has four weeks to vacate when she has ten.

01:08:54.000 Also, look how formatted this memo.

01:08:57.000 Look how she formatted this memo. 1.00

01:08:58.000 White with a lilac background. 1.00

01:09:00.000 What an incompetent bitch. 1.00

01:09:01.000 These people, oh my god, that reminds me, I don't know if you're gonna find this as funny as I did, but Larry Barnes at the gym, he's talking about this guy's ex-girlfriend who ruined his life, the guy's life, and he goes, 1.00

01:09:15.000 He hated her from day one.

01:09:17.000 So Larry clocked her.

01:09:18.000 He knew that she was going to be a trouble. 0.99

01:09:19.000 And he knew the guy was being a sucker. 0.99

01:09:21.000 He was being taken. 1.00

01:09:22.000 But he goes, he said the line, I'm sorry, but that bitch was a bit of a pig. 1.00

01:09:30.000 I fucking fell down. 1.00

01:09:32.000 Wait, have I already said this before? 0.99

01:09:36.000 No. 1.00

01:09:36.000 Like, to put the worst word before the other word, bitch, before pig? 1.00

01:09:40.000 That is hilarious, no. 1.00

01:09:42.000 And apologizing?

01:09:43.000 I'm sorry. 1.00

01:09:44.000 That cunt is a dum-dum. 1.00

01:09:45.000 Yeah, you gotta imagine a little black man from the hood saying, I'm sorry, but that bitch was a bit of a pig. 1.00

01:09:51.000 A bit of a, yeah. 1.00

01:09:53.000 I wouldn't say she's a full out pig. 1.00

01:09:56.000 I'm not a monster. 1.00

01:09:57.000 These people are out of their minds.

01:09:58.000 They think Riverside County is a hard right bastion for Proud Boys.

01:10:03.000 They are having an event to combat this hate and worst of all my ex-girlfriend is attending.

01:10:08.000 I dodged a bullet there.

01:10:09.000 This whole event feels like a microcosm of leftism in general. 0.89

01:10:12.000 These people are ready to spend their time fighting the assumption of injustice, fucking hearsay about Proud Boys when presented with the fact that seven other businesses are also closing.

01:10:23.000 And then here we have their flyer that Ryan just showed. 0.97

01:10:27.000 And they want you to know... Again, guys, allow me to be sexist.

01:10:33.000 This is women in the workforce. 1.00

01:10:36.000 Very hard to read.

01:10:38.000 We also... Oh, my lovely, amazing, beautiful... I hate the word community.

01:10:45.000 It's always used to refer to people that are not a community.

01:10:48.000 We love, we so love you and all that we have created together here at Cellar Door.

01:10:54.000 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

01:10:59.000 We're looking for a new home.

01:11:02.000 All our people.

01:11:03.000 So she doesn't mention Proud Boys in this.

01:11:05.000 Our voices will be heard with much, much love and a healthy heap of rage.

01:11:11.000 Linda and the Cellar Door staff.

01:11:17.000 All right.

01:11:17.000 I've been meaning to get to this the entire show.

01:11:20.000 Homosexuality bookstores are the perfect segue to this dude who is called Isaac Ferguson. 0.86

01:11:28.000 What's his name?

01:11:31.000 Go to 3-1.

01:11:34.000 Isaac Fitzgerald.

01:11:35.000 See, he wrote this book called Dirtbag Massachusetts.

01:11:37.000 It's sort of like Five Easy Pieces, but without the exciting bits. 0.86

01:11:42.000 And he's a very effeminate homo who dresses like me, because I guess, I don't know, he thinks I'm cool. 1.00

01:11:50.000 Look, he's all about his tattoos. 0.97

01:11:52.000 He's got his hand tattoos and his neck tattoos.

01:11:54.000 Those are all his tattoos, by the way.

01:11:56.000 And that's from the flash book at any sort of like tattoo parlour.

01:11:59.000 Right.

01:12:00.000 When you go through the binder. 0.98

01:12:00.000 You know when homos do that, they're being like, I'm a thug. 0.98

01:12:05.000 Right? 0.99

01:12:05.000 But they're not. 0.99

01:12:06.000 And so this LARPing as a tough guy is now his autobiography, a collection of essays from me, a total dirtbag.

01:12:15.000 And then you, like, look at him talk.

01:12:16.000 Look up Isaac Ferguson, Fitzgerald, sorry, on the Today Show.

01:12:22.000 Did I not include that?

01:12:23.000 Yeah, go to 3-2.

01:12:27.000 She got finger tattoos? 0.99

01:12:28.000 She needs a finger tattoo, yeah. 1.00

01:12:29.000 Yeah.

01:12:30.000 No, it's for the- oh my god, it's for the nails.

01:12:32.000 Oh, I see. 0.99

01:12:33.000 Ew, what the fuck is that little hair doing there? 1.00

01:12:35.000 Holy smokes. 0.99

01:12:46.000 He went to My Barber.

01:12:48.000 You'll be happy to hear after this. 1.00

01:12:50.000 That fag is a bit of a queer. 1.00

01:12:52.000 He not only recommends books, he writes them. 1.00

01:12:55.000 And this project has people talking.

01:12:59.000 It is raw.

01:13:00.000 It is a revealing memoir.

01:13:01.000 It's called Dirtbag Massachusetts.

01:13:03.000 It's all about the many lives he's lived to become the man we all know and love.

01:13:08.000 Hi Isaac.

01:13:08.000 Hi Hoda.

01:13:09.000 Thank you so much for having me on.

01:13:11.000 It's so good to see you.

01:13:14.000 This is a New York Times bestseller.

01:13:15.000 Do you know why? 0.99

01:13:17.000 Because the people who are in charge of the New York Times bestseller lists are gay. 0.99

01:13:21.000 So when a homo farts onto a page, they're like, perfect, love it! 1.00

01:13:26.000 Anyway, a large part of the book is all about yours truly, so I thought it would be prudent to sit down and read a few pages from this stunning memoir.

01:13:41.000 Will you abide by that?

01:13:42.000 Will you listen? 0.99

01:13:43.000 It's gonna be a good 25 minutes because that's how long he spends talking about me in this fucking book. 0.99

01:13:49.000 Let's check it out! 0.99

01:14:00.000 Dirtbag, Massachusetts by Isaac Fitzgerald. 0.99

01:14:09.000 The second time I saw Gavin McInnes's dick wasn't my fault. 0.97

01:14:12.000 It happened when I was getting a haircut and the hungover Lee, Chatty Barber, was telling me about his partly professional and occasionally social relationship with McInnes. 0.98

01:14:22.000 He's taking some liberties here with the word hungover.

01:14:25.000 He calls it hungover Lee.

01:14:27.000 This is common in this book, which is, again,

01:14:30.000 Terrible. 0.97

01:14:31.000 And once you realize that this person is just a raging queen, you go, oh, it's just like a gay guy going, and then I was over there and I was freaking out! 1.00

01:14:40.000 Uh-oh, he might be calling me now. 0.98

01:14:44.000 Someone in prison. 0.98

01:14:46.000 See, I am an actual dirtbag. 0.93

01:14:48.000 I'm not posing like one.

01:14:52.000 And then the other Liberty here, of course, he's doing the second time first, mixing it up.

01:14:57.000 The second time, oh sorry, blah, blah, blah. 0.61

01:14:59.000 If you're lucky enough not to know, McInnes is a founder of Vice Magazine and Vice Media, whose post-Vice careers involved a lot more speechifying, denying, see, you almost have to read this in a gay voice, because he makes up all these words. 0.92

01:15:15.000 It involved a lot of hate speechifying, denying that said hate speechifying was meant sincerely and creating a group of called the Proud Boys.

01:15:23.000 So I have to reread that for you here.

01:15:27.000 If you're lucky enough not to know, McInnes is a founder of Vice Magazine, Vice Media, whose post Vice career has involved a lot of hate speechifying, denying that said hate speechifying was meant sincerely and creating a group called the Proud Boys.

01:15:40.000 Give you two guesses what they're proud of.

01:15:42.000 Apparently, Proud Boys are proud to be white. 0.98

01:15:46.000 Now, he's gay, so what about the gay Proud Boys? 1.00

01:15:49.000 Are they gay white supremacists? 0.99

01:15:51.000 You don't come across those very often. 0.99

01:15:53.000 And what about the black Proud Boys? 0.91

01:15:55.000 Are they black white supremacists? 0.91

01:15:56.000 Like, shouldn't you confront these obvious problems with your theory when you're writing a book? 1.00

01:16:02.000 Anyway, no, they're just fucking Nazis, you guys! 1.00

01:16:06.000 Now, Nazis are trying to keep the fact that they are Nazis kind of secret, despite it being like 100% obvious! 1.00

01:16:13.000 That's not, that says that in the book.

01:16:16.000 I've never, like, I like David Sedaris, but he doesn't write gay. 0.99

01:16:21.000 Brett Easton Ellis doesn't write gay.

01:16:23.000 This is the first gay book I've read that's written in gay. 1.00

01:16:27.000 And it's weird because it's a book about being a fucking badass. 0.99

01:16:31.000 Yeah, when I was a teenager we started a fight club. 0.97

01:16:34.000 Yeah, that's what teenagers do, they fight.

01:16:37.000 One-on-one, all those things, meeting by the baseball diamond at 3.20 after school, yeah.

01:16:44.000 Then he talks about, oh my god, I had such bad body dysmorphia, I thought I was fat.

01:16:49.000 Okay. 1.00

01:16:51.000 That's not really dirtbag shit. 0.98

01:16:53.000 Hey guys, remember when I was pleasantly plump? 0.99

01:16:56.000 Oh man, crazy times.

01:17:00.000 Hand tattoos, of course, because he's a biker. 0.86

01:17:04.000 Which is like, it's really what bears do, right? 0.99

01:17:06.000 They dress like badasses, and you go, holy fuck, that guy probably built his own motorcycle. 1.00

01:17:10.000 And he goes, hey, what's going on? 1.00

01:17:12.000 And you go, whoa, Jesus, whoa, sorry, you've tricked me.

01:17:21.000 Now, Nazis who try to keep the fact that they are Nazis kind of... Why would Nazis want to do that?

01:17:26.000 Show me a Nazi who's like sitting there sweating going, no, I'm normal. 0.98

01:17:30.000 Look, I'm hanging out with black dudes. 0.98

01:17:32.000 Nazis are very vocal about being Nazis. 0.97

01:17:35.000 They don't want to waste anyone's time. 1.00

01:17:37.000 So, if you join the Klan, you better not be a goddamn Jew or a Negro. 1.00

01:17:42.000 Or you're out. 1.00

01:17:43.000 Obviously. 1.00

01:17:44.000 They don't want Negroes and Jews showing up to the Klan rally and they're like, dude, what the fuck? 1.00

01:17:49.000 You said you're not racist. 1.00

01:17:50.000 I know, that was, I was hiding it, dude!

01:17:53.000 Anyway.

01:17:57.000 Nazis kind of like to use two words.

01:17:59.000 Okay, here's the two words Nazis use.

01:18:01.000 There's pride, which is invoked whenever they are accused of hate.

01:18:05.000 No, they're just proud.

01:18:07.000 That's not true. 0.90

01:18:08.000 The pride comes from being constantly told that we should be ashamed of ourselves because of slavery and Indians and we're horrible. 0.99

01:18:15.000 We've ruined everything and toxic white masculinity and all that. 0.98

01:18:18.000 We go, no, actually, not only is it not toxic, but it's awesome.

01:18:22.000 We invented everything you see here. 0.99

01:18:24.000 This fucking book. 1.00

01:18:26.000 The binding. 1.00

01:18:27.000 That's all dudes.

01:18:29.000 And western dudes.

01:18:30.000 So, we're not going to apologize for creating the modern world.

01:18:33.000 It seems... Like, take Occam's Razor to the origin of Proud Boys and that's where you end up.

01:18:38.000 It's pretty obvious to me.

01:18:42.000 No, they're just proud of being white. 0.98

01:18:44.000 That's the only feeling they have about their whiteness. 0.62

01:18:47.000 Oh, okay. 0.99

01:18:48.000 Tell me more about myself, homo. 0.96

01:18:51.000 This charade never lasts for any length of time whatsoever. 0.95

01:18:54.000 It's so catty, isn't it?

01:18:56.000 But to be fair, white pride is shorter than everybody else hate. 0.67

01:19:03.000 Man, this is good. 0.70

01:19:05.000 Weird.

01:19:07.000 It's one thing to rail against straw men. 1.00

01:19:09.000 It's another thing to fucking bitch slap your straw man. 1.00

01:19:12.000 Fuck you! 1.00

01:19:14.000 They also love to talk about humor, as in the left has no sense of. 1.00

01:19:18.000 Now this guy, the reason I was told about this, my friend's husband is listening to the audio book and he goes, dude, this guy talks about you for half an hour in this book.

01:19:29.000 He's clearly obsessed with you.

01:19:31.000 So the guy's obsessed with me because I'm funny.

01:19:34.000 And he was a big fan of do's and don'ts back in the vice days.

01:19:37.000 So now he has to atone for his sins and say, I don't know what I was doing.

01:19:45.000 They also love to talk about humor, as in the left has no sense of.

01:19:48.000 Yeah, that's what this is all about, by the way.

01:19:52.000 As if they can brute force compel people to laugh at jokes that aren't funny and shame them if they don't. 0.78

01:19:57.000 Uh, uh, sorry that you're only funny when you fail clownishly.

01:20:03.000 Again with the Lee thing, it's really jarring. 0.98

01:20:06.000 Which is often. 0.97

01:20:08.000 Because you know what is fucking funny? 0.94

01:20:10.000 Naming their, in their words, pro-Western fraternal organization for men who refuse to apologize for creating the modern world, the Proud Boys, a name that sounds like nothing more than a group of four-year-olds who've cleaned up their toys or gone potty successfully, both major accomplishments in early childhood development of which one should actually be proud. 0.97

01:20:30.000 There's plenty of groups called the Boys.

01:20:31.000 Ever heard of Saturdays for the Boys?

01:20:33.000 The Bowery Boys? 0.99

01:20:35.000 What should you be called, the Proud Men?

01:20:39.000 Though the Southern Poverty Law Center has designated the Proud Boys as a hate group, McInnes denies this and has even sued the SPLC for defamation.

01:20:46.000 A not at all hate groupie thing to do.

01:20:49.000 Yeah, it isn't a hate groupie thing to do. 0.98

01:20:52.000 What is with all these letter Y's at the end of every fucking word? 0.98

01:20:56.000 It's really annoying-y. 0.99

01:20:59.000 So by the time my barber held out his phone to show me a photo that I didn't want to see, we're getting back to the dick by the way, 0.95

01:21:05.000 Though I didn't know just how very much I didn't want to see it. 0.99

01:21:08.000 I wrote a book about how I don't want to see Gavin's dick. 0.99

01:21:11.000 You're lucky you haven't seen it. 0.99

01:21:12.000 I hated seeing it. 0.90

01:21:14.000 Ew, gross. 1.00

01:21:16.000 I wish I could delete his gorgeous cock, I mean his disgusting cock from my mind. 1.00

01:21:20.000 He wrote a book on my cock. 1.00

01:21:22.000 I'm resting his book on my cock right now. 1.00

01:21:26.000 My heart was already sinking, sunk, hopelessly submerged. 1.00

01:21:31.000 He's talking about a penis. 1.00

01:21:33.000 My penis. 1.00

01:21:34.000 In the photo, Gavin looked drunk. 1.00

01:21:36.000 Ew. 1.00

01:21:37.000 Wearing a robe that hung open like stage curtains to reveal his dick. 1.00

01:21:41.000 Just chilling there. 1.00

01:21:43.000 He and I had the same haircut.

01:21:45.000 My barber and I had the same haircut.

01:21:47.000 It was the worst imaginable version of who wore it best. 0.98

01:21:50.000 This is like RuPaul levels gay. 0.99

01:21:55.000 At the same time, I couldn't deny I liked the haircut. 1.00

01:21:57.000 My dick doesn't have a haircut. 0.99

01:21:59.000 Did he believe that thing we said on Ant's show about, uh, foreskin hairs? 0.99

01:22:05.000 It looked good on me, but what did it say about me that just by sitting in this chair- The guy looks- dresses exactly like me.

01:22:12.000 He's got the tattoos, he's got this cut, the beard.

01:22:16.000 He's dressed as me for Halloween.

01:22:21.000 But what did it say about me?

01:22:23.000 Very me, this book, by the way.

01:22:24.000 If you read my book, what's it called again?

01:22:29.000 The Death of Cool, you'll notice I'm not talking about myself. 0.97

01:22:32.000 I'm like, then we went over there and there was this dude there who shit his pants and blah, blah, blah. 0.98

01:22:36.000 But gays and women, when they write books, especially black women, there's a lot of me, me, me. 0.98

01:22:42.000 What is Michelle Obama's book?

01:22:44.000 Becoming Michelle.

01:22:46.000 I can't wait to become Michelle. 0.99

01:22:51.000 But what did it say about me that just by sitting in this chair, getting this haircut, looking like whatever I look like, all of a sudden I appeared to be the type of person who'd be really pleased to see a picture of Gavin McInnes, head of the Proud Boys, literally partying with his dick out. 0.97

01:23:07.000 Long before getting a haircut somehow exposed me to Proud Boy Dick, hair had always been fraught for me. 0.99

01:23:13.000 So now we go on and on about his fucking hair. 0.99

01:23:17.000 I'm not joking, dude. 0.99

01:23:21.000 It's pages.

01:23:24.000 Arnold Schwarzenegger hair.

01:23:25.000 This is how I learned haircuts could be magic.

01:23:29.000 This is for women, isn't it? 1.00

01:23:31.000 How could a dude read this book?

01:23:34.000 Well, by the way, when I said my friend's husband, it's a woman.

01:23:37.000 Like, my female friend's husband. 0.98

01:23:40.000 So, I'm gonna email her and be like, dude, your husband's gay. 1.00

01:23:44.000 If you made it, this is towards the end of the book, too.

01:23:46.000 If you made it this far, and you're rating this book, or listening to the audiobook, I wonder if he narrates the audiobook. 0.99

01:23:53.000 So, anyway, I got there, I was like, fuck you! 1.00

01:23:55.000 E. 1.00

01:23:59.000 Terrible.

01:23:59.000 Blonde tips.

01:24:00.000 So now we're talking about blonde tips.

01:24:02.000 Slicked back.

01:24:04.000 Getting a trauma haircut is a time-honored way of attempting to reassert control.

01:24:08.000 Lots of therapy in here.

01:24:10.000 Gays are always going to therapy. 1.00

01:24:12.000 Maybe that's them knowingly admitting that they're just kind of broken. 0.95

01:24:18.000 Still going!

01:24:21.000 Okay, I think we're back.

01:24:23.000 Are we back?

01:24:25.000 Finally, there was the guy, so this has all been hair.

01:24:28.000 Five pages of hair. 0.99

01:24:30.000 Finally, we're getting back now to my cock. 1.00

01:24:33.000 Get back to where you once penis belonged. 1.00

01:24:36.000 Finally, there was the guy who showed me Gavin McInnes dick being the captive audience at the men's evil bullshit parade every time I sat down for a haircut. 1.00

01:24:45.000 Suck! 1.00

01:24:46.000 What also sucked that I wasn't just sitting and watching a spectacle go by, this was their way of holding a handout, inviting me to jump on the float. 0.99

01:24:54.000 I felt implicated.

01:24:55.000 Let me just tell you what's going on here.

01:24:57.000 He's at my barber, my old barber shop in Brooklyn.

01:25:00.000 And it's a dude spot.

01:25:01.000 And they have whiskey there sometimes, and we would tell dirty jokes and stuff and say horrible things, like Bill Burr was saying the other day.

01:25:08.000 He couldn't help, when he was watching something about domestic abuse, he couldn't help think, I wonder what the last thing she said to him before he hit her.

01:25:15.000 That's a terrible thing to say.

01:25:17.000 It's what guys say. 0.99

01:25:18.000 And you're obviously, when you talk like that, you're not like, a load of bitches deserve to get smugged. 1.00

01:25:22.000 What you're really saying is, there's no girls around here. 0.99

01:25:25.000 It's like the equivalent of a fart.

01:25:26.000 I don't know why I gave fart quotes.

01:25:29.000 It's your way of saying, we can relax now.

01:25:34.000 And they do it with him, and he's like, ELLE! 1.00

01:25:38.000 And he calls it a bullshit parade. 1.00

01:25:41.000 Yeah, dude. 1.00

01:25:42.000 That's what hanging with the boys is.

01:25:45.000 And you clearly are not a dude.

01:25:47.000 This whole book's about being a dirtbag, but he's really just a woman saying, guys are freaking me out!

01:25:58.000 One reason these men felt free to talk to me like that was I looked the part.

01:26:01.000 The tattoos, the tight sides.

01:26:03.000 I understand that if you took a photo meme right, alt right, poster board underneath it, nobody would blink.

01:26:08.000 Because of this, certain people... Meanwhile, that's why he chose this look.

01:26:13.000 He chose the look to get more male pussy, because he looks like a badass. 0.99

01:26:17.000 And then actual, like, dudes come up to him going, hey man, what's up? 1.00

01:26:20.000 Fucking, I farted. 0.99

01:26:21.000 He's like, ew, gross! 1.00

01:26:26.000 Stay in your lane, fag. 1.00

01:26:30.000 The thing is, after years of working as a bouncer, I'm not inexperienced with physical altercations, and I'm pretty good at talking drunks down. 0.99

01:26:37.000 Okay, blah, blah, blah.

01:26:38.000 So he's mad at himself for letting sexist jokes go by in a barbershop.

01:26:44.000 As he puts it, this politeness is a sickness. 1.00

01:26:47.000 So it's another gay bummed out that he's weak, basically. 1.00

01:26:52.000 Blah, blah, blah. 0.99

01:26:56.000 So now he's talking about, he totally leaves the subject, right?

01:27:00.000 Now we're talking about moving from New York, I guess, to San Francisco or something, and he comes back to the G again. 0.99

01:27:08.000 Did I fuck this guy and dump him on an answering machine? 0.99

01:27:12.000 I don't remember doing that. 0.99

01:27:16.000 Okay, whole new, it's not a new chapter, but you know those little blips where they add a graphic and there's a space?

01:27:23.000 Recently I was at a friend's house in LA and mentioned that I was working on this essay.

01:27:27.000 This book's just a collection of essays.

01:27:30.000 Like, anyone who's had a column could do it.

01:27:31.000 I could put this book together. 0.97

01:27:33.000 I've got fucking ten years of columns. 0.96

01:27:37.000 So it's not an accomplishment, is my point. 0.95

01:27:40.000 Recently I was at a friend's house in LA and mentioned that I was working on this essay.

01:27:43.000 On hearing Gavin McInnes' name, my friend got up and dug around his closet until he emerged with a copy of the 2004 collection Vice Do's and Don'ts 10 Years of Vice Magazine Street Fashion Critiques, a book I hadn't cracked in over a decade.

01:27:59.000 I opened it up.

01:28:00.000 Over the next hour, I took a trip down a very specific type of memory lane. 1.00

01:28:04.000 One we might call, what a piece of shit I used to be, as evidenced by the shit I used to find hilarious. 1.00

01:28:10.000 Wrote. 1.00

01:28:11.000 That's all hyphenated.

01:28:13.000 Then he writes, woo!

01:28:18.000 It's not a joke.

01:28:20.000 It's not like I don't know that Vice was meant to be edgy.

01:28:24.000 It wasn't meant to be edgy.

01:28:26.000 Vice was just me being normal and relaxed.

01:28:30.000 It's the same with Ann Coulter. 1.00

01:28:31.000 They always say, does she say that shit just to freak people out? 1.00

01:28:34.000 I go, no, she talks in public the way we all talk in bars. 1.00

01:28:37.000 She writes the way we all talk in bars.

01:28:40.000 And when people see someone not censoring themselves and making like normal jokes, people go, well, you're just doing that to blow my mind.

01:28:47.000 You're doing it to scare me.

01:28:49.000 No, I'm just being me, dude.

01:28:51.000 And you'd sound the same if you were just you.

01:28:54.000 So here is a guy who used to enjoy himself and used to enjoy humor.

01:28:59.000 Remember I said earlier that they said, proud boys pretend that we don't get jokes.

01:29:04.000 And here he is looking back at something he used to think was funny and going, ah, I can't believe I used to think this was funny.

01:29:11.000 It's not, it's offensive.

01:29:14.000 I'm sorry.

01:29:15.000 Then he goes into the whole thing at the end about you need to grow.

01:29:19.000 I didn't know this dude was gay when I first saw this.

01:29:22.000 And when I first read it, I was like, I don't understand why this person is talking like this. 0.83

01:29:28.000 And then once you see him on the Today Show, which we just did, you go, oh, you're a queer. 0.95

01:29:33.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:29:34.000 OK, fine. 0.91

01:29:35.000 It's sort of like when you see someone dressed really femininely on the street, and you go, please be gay, please be gay, please be gay, please be gay. 0.97

01:29:41.000 Because you don't want one of us dressing like that. 0.98

01:29:43.000 Or if you see a guy getting a pedicure, you look in the salon as you walk by, you're like, please be gay, please be gay, please be gay, please be gay. 0.95

01:29:50.000 That's what you should say when you pick up this book. 0.85

01:29:55.000 But the book wasn't just sprinkled with a few badly aged jokes here and there.

01:30:00.000 It was nothing less than an artifact from another era.

01:30:04.000 Over time, Kul does one of three things.

01:30:06.000 It dies a rapid death.

01:30:08.000 Oh, the death of Kul, that's interesting.

01:30:10.000 After which the corpse is interred in the tomb of the permanently uncool.

01:30:15.000 Why don't you give an example?

01:30:35.000 Of a joke in the Do's and Don'ts book, which I highly recommend, and say, I thought this was funny, and then have the joke.

01:30:42.000 You wouldn't do that, because I bet you it's funny.

01:30:45.000 They sounded more like someone's shitty, horny, drunk dad, that's me, talking over the TV while channel surfing. 0.96

01:30:52.000 Yeah, that's what humor is. 0.99

01:30:55.000 That's called good jokes.

01:30:57.000 The real surprise?

01:30:58.000 After reading the book, I found it wasn't only overtly awful, it also contained more subtle awfulness than I'd remembered, see with the awfulness and the awfully and awfulitizing, than I remembered, ultimately making it all the more awful and insidious and damaging.

01:31:15.000 I went in expecting a plain old outrageous face full of racism and misogyny and got dot, dot, dot.

01:31:21.000 Well, yeah, a whole boatload of racism and misogyny, with much of it cloaked and buried and tempered in various ways, along with a whole lot of transphobia and fatphobia.

01:31:36.000 Which wasn't?

01:31:37.000 Wait, what?

01:31:39.000 Oh, the transphobia and the fatphobia wasn't cloaked. 0.60

01:31:43.000 Okay.

01:31:45.000 Again, you're waxing poetic about these jokes without giving the author an example.

01:31:50.000 What if they don't have the book?

01:31:53.000 He's so mad about a book he used to think was funny and now doesn't.

01:31:57.000 I guess what he's saying here is he totally supports this political correctness and he's lashing out, betraying his old self and saying, those days were horrible and I can't believe I was part of it.

01:32:10.000 That's just lame.

01:32:11.000 This is the kind of person, by the way, when communism or fascism comes in, they're going to be like, that, it was my neighbor!

01:32:17.000 Get him!

01:32:18.000 He's hiding upstairs!

01:32:19.000 This is the kind of people who tell you where Anne Frank is. 0.98

01:32:23.000 Gavin McInnes loved to give offensive compliments to reference racist canards about black penis size and Asian math skills while thumb upsing people's outfits. 0.98

01:32:34.000 Thumbs upping? 0.95

01:32:35.000 Yeah, yeah, just to be very clear here, that is one thing I do regret. 0.99

01:32:38.000 I do regret in my earlier days with humor, sometimes I would infer that African Americans have larger than average penises. 1.00

01:32:46.000 They don't. 1.00

01:32:47.000 Black people have tiny penises. 1.00

01:32:49.000 They're all, they're all, this is the biggest black penis there is. 1.00

01:32:53.000 They have the smallest. 1.00

01:32:54.000 And then, Asian math skills, I want you to know that Asians are terrible at math. 1.00

01:33:00.000 That's just a silly stereotype that's based on nothing. 0.97

01:33:04.000 Both of those stereotypes are based on absolutely nothing.

01:33:08.000 And if you check out, you know, people who win the Fields Medal or the leading minds in mathematics, you will see zero Asians. 1.00

01:33:15.000 You'll see mostly small-dicked black dudes. 1.00

01:33:17.000 That's who's good at math. 1.00

01:33:19.000 Oh, and Asians have huge cocks. 1.00

01:33:21.000 They were Trojan horses, which praise as the facade. 0.99

01:33:25.000 Because if you accepted the praise, you'd also need to engage with the horrible ideas woven into the praise, as if they were worth considering. 0.95

01:33:33.000 Weighing or even accepting, one page contained an image of some Nazi fuckheads at a rally, marveling at their dapperness and mastery of graphic design. 0.93

01:33:41.000 Yeah, I remember that, dude. 0.98

01:33:42.000 It was funny. 0.93

01:33:43.000 When you see Nazis, Nazi skinheads marching down the street with their flags, you're like, I don't like you. 0.94

01:33:49.000 Those are odious ideas, but you do look pretty sharp. 0.77

01:33:54.000 The next image was of anti-Nazi protesters at that same rally.

01:33:58.000 Both were dues!

01:34:00.000 Yeah, so clearly the author is not a Nazi here, and he's... anyway.

01:34:06.000 A brief interview at the front of the book highlighted McInnes' both sides, either way, who knows, thinking.

01:34:11.000 Especially when he tried to answer the question of what makes someone a don't, blah blah blah.

01:34:14.000 He said, and then he quotes me, often there's no difference between dos and don'ts, it's just whatever works better.

01:34:20.000 Occasionally there were too many do's for a given issue, so he turned them into don'ts.

01:34:22.000 Yeah, it's a fashion joke book, dude.

01:34:26.000 You're freaking out that sometimes I would randomly put someone in the do's or the don'ts.

01:34:31.000 Obviously, the do's and don'ts was a construct to make laughs and do fashion commentary and humor. 0.81

01:34:38.000 And the fact that they're interchangeable shows that you shouldn't be taking it so fucking seriously.

01:34:45.000 Anyway, he goes on and on and on about this book, and the McInnes of the Vice Do's and Don'ts was slippery, wrong-footed, and un-pindownable.

01:34:54.000 I feel sorry for the copy editor who had to go through it and go, so you meant to say un-pindownable?

01:34:59.000 Okay, I just, okay.

01:35:02.000 But you can't joke about everything and mean nothing forever.

01:35:05.000 Yeah, a fashion joke book means nothing.

01:35:08.000 Get a grip.

01:35:10.000 More than 15 years later, I believe he has shown us what he really means.

01:35:14.000 The mask became his face, or it always was, and it is the same face worshipped and worn by so many people in this current moment that shifts at a moment's notice from Troll to Jester to Dapper Dan, but is recognizable by the hate shining out of the eye holes!

01:35:32.000 No, I'm not joking.

01:35:33.000 That's what it actually says.

01:35:35.000 Anyway, he goes on and on about the do's and don'ts for pages and pages. 0.99

01:35:40.000 And then he talks about how my dick is in the book, which it is, because that's funny. 1.00

01:35:46.000 And he goes, that's the first time I saw his dick. 1.00

01:35:48.000 And then what I did was, I have a nude picture, but I'm wearing underwear. 1.00

01:35:52.000 But then at the back, you can cut out my penis. 1.00

01:35:57.000 We're good to go. 1.00

01:36:18.000 This guy jerked off about me, guaranteed. 1.00

01:36:35.000 And a joke on anyone who would go to the trouble of cutting and pasting the dick. 1.00

01:36:39.000 Correct. 0.98

01:36:40.000 A joke on anyone who didn't think it was funny and anyone who did!

01:36:43.000 It was a joke on everything!

01:36:45.000 One last little edgy joke in a book filled with them.

01:36:48.000 Or at least that's how it seemed to me.

01:36:51.000 So yeah, to recap, when I moved to San Francisco, my copy of the book was in one bag I took, which meant I'd made room for it. 0.92

01:36:56.000 A little cutout of Gavin McInnes' dick, removed from one page so it'd be glued to another. 0.99

01:37:01.000 Then he adds, because I was one of those idiots who did go to the trouble. 1.00

01:37:05.000 This guy sat there with scissors, cutting out a picture of my penis and then gluing it onto my body so he could see the whole thing. 1.00

01:37:14.000 Anyway, I can't do this anymore, but it goes on and on and on, and then he talks about growth and how important it is to grow. 0.99

01:37:22.000 And the thing with these morons who betray themselves, kind of like the Beastie Boys sang that first album, which by the way, made all their money. 0.91

01:37:29.000 Kind of like when the Beastie Boys sang that first album, Licensed to Ill, technically their second album. 1.00

01:37:35.000 We were just joking, man. 0.99

01:37:36.000 Those dudes are gay. 1.00

01:37:37.000 That was bullshit. 1.00

01:37:38.000 I was fucking around. 1.00

01:37:40.000 It's a betrayal. 0.99

01:37:41.000 That's what's so great about tattoos.

01:37:41.000 It's lame.

01:37:43.000 If this guy actually did understand tattoo culture, you're saying, yeah, I was an idiot back then. 0.99

01:37:47.000 That's funny to me. 0.99

01:37:49.000 You know, you embrace yourself.

01:37:51.000 You embrace your past. 1.00

01:37:53.000 But these assholes, not only do they say, fuck my past, I'm going with the herd. 1.00

01:37:58.000 If that's not in anymore, then fuck that. 1.00

01:38:00.000 I can't believe I ever did that. 1.00

01:38:01.000 I was one of the idiots who glued it on. 1.00

01:38:03.000 I can't believe it. 1.00

01:38:04.000 Fuck me. 1.00

01:38:05.000 Like, not only will they betray their neighbors when fascism comes, they're happy to betray themselves. 1.00

01:38:09.000 But the strange thing about this, too, is as they do this betrayal and this sort of self-deception, they talk about how better they are as people and how better they are than you.

01:38:21.000 You see, if you don't betray yourself, then you haven't grown.

01:38:25.000 And I'm going to teach you how to do it.

01:38:28.000 So not only are they ratting on their neighbors, but they're like, this is how you do it.

01:38:32.000 This is how you go with Stalin and progress. 0.96

01:38:35.000 And I just thought this was an amazing little paragraph.

01:38:39.000 I know that educating people in this way can sometimes feel like explaining very nicely and patiently and calmly to the person who's just stabbed you. 0.63

01:38:48.000 I've stabbed him.

01:38:49.000 Do you get that? 1.00

01:38:50.000 So, being normal, being edgy, whatever, being fun, is ignorant and it's stabbing gay dudes with a shiv. 1.00

01:39:09.000 And they should just kill us for being so rude and offensive. 1.00

01:39:14.000 You should just kill me. 1.00

01:39:15.000 But I'd rather educate you. 1.00

01:39:17.000 And it does feel tedious to have to educate evil assholes like us while blood drips down your sides. 0.99

01:39:24.000 Because we're... It's just too nice. 1.00

01:39:27.000 But you need to educate people.

01:39:28.000 Yeah.

01:39:29.000 Alright.

01:39:30.000 No.

01:39:31.000 You don't need to educate people.

01:39:33.000 You need to laugh.

01:39:44.000 Oh, I'm glad that we had that bit of levity at the end.

01:39:46.000 The Proud Boys stuff was getting kind of boring.

01:39:50.000 But yeah, it's getting to the point now with critics where you can tell something sucks by how well it's rated, like the Rotten Tomatoes thing. 0.95

01:39:58.000 So when you see something on the New York Times bestseller list, you go, oh, OK, garbage.

01:40:02.000 And when you hear something's terrible, it ends up being awesome.

01:40:05.000 My favorite example, of course, is Curb Your Enthusiasm, where they said, this is the worst season ever.

01:40:09.000 It's just mean.

01:40:11.000 I'm like, hmm.

01:40:12.000 I like Kirby enthusiasm. 0.77

01:40:14.000 One season sucks?

01:40:15.000 That's not really like Larry David. 0.98

01:40:17.000 Then I discover it's because he has a fatwa out on him, and they're scared that season offends Muslims.

01:40:24.000 Best season I've ever seen.

01:40:25.000 I agree. 1.00

01:40:27.000 Includes the term fatwa sex, where Salman Rushdie himself explains to Larry that when there's a fatwa out on you, you get mad pussy. 1.00

01:40:36.000 Oh, we should mention, look at my awesome suit. 1.00

01:40:39.000 Look at the attention to detail.

01:40:41.000 Is that the new one already?

01:40:42.000 No, no.

01:40:43.000 Oh, okay.

01:40:43.000 Gavin McInnes in there.

01:40:45.000 White silk lining.

01:40:46.000 Nice.

01:40:47.000 Extra boutons.

01:40:49.000 And that is Nita Fashions. 0.56

01:40:50.000 That's correct.

01:40:51.000 That's our third sponsor for today.

01:40:53.000 I was just there meeting them.

01:40:55.000 I got some beautiful summer suits in the mix.

01:41:00.000 You got, what color suit did you get?

01:41:01.000 I got a very subtle patterned, but it's not, it's formal enough that you could go to a wedding, funeral, church, but it's, it's dark.

01:41:11.000 It's like a dark Navy, super dark Navy.

01:41:15.000 Superdark Navy.

01:41:16.000 Don't get an intense pattern because we can't show it on the show.

01:41:16.000 Superdark Navy.

01:41:19.000 Right.

01:41:20.000 No, I made sure that it was farther apart.

01:41:22.000 But why don't we show their dates?

01:41:23.000 They're still on tour.

01:41:24.000 Oh, yeah.

01:41:25.000 They were just in New York.

01:41:26.000 We were with them.

01:41:27.000 You know what bothers me?

01:41:28.000 They don't fly first class.

01:41:31.000 And they tour the whole world.

01:41:32.000 Like, give yourselves a Kit Kat.

01:41:33.000 Give yourselves a break.

01:41:35.000 No.

01:41:36.000 So where are we now?

01:41:36.000 All right.

01:41:37.000 I got their graphic that's actually better.

01:41:39.000 It is the 7th, Friday the 7th of April.

01:41:45.000 So they have left New York I believe.

01:41:50.000 Oh yeah, long time ago.

01:41:52.000 They've got two more, we've got two more days in Washington D.C.

01:41:57.000 and then they're off to Houston, Texas.

01:42:01.000 For mid-April.

01:42:02.000 Dallas till close to the end of April.

01:42:05.000 No, Chicago is the end of April.

01:42:08.000 And then, I can't see it here.

01:42:10.000 What do we have after that?

01:42:11.000 So you contact them on their website, contact them on their social media, and you make an appointment.

01:42:18.000 San Francisco's coming up April 30th.

01:42:21.000 Los Angeles, where we just were, April 27th, 29th.

01:42:23.000 Denver, Colorado.

01:42:26.000 And I'm telling you guys, going in there, choosing the fabrics, it's a male spa.

01:42:31.000 It's the male equivalent to being, I don't like getting massaged.

01:42:34.000 I hate going to spas.

01:42:36.000 I hate sitting in hot water and then cold water.

01:42:39.000 I just don't, I don't get it.

01:42:40.000 It just feels like a waste of time.

01:42:43.000 But when you're going there, choosing a suit and getting the details, like what kind of pocket flap are you going to get?

01:42:48.000 Yeah.

01:42:48.000 I don't know.

01:42:49.000 What would you suggest?

01:42:50.000 Yeah, that was awesome.

01:42:52.000 Great experience and then also I'm thinking about making a video of how you could do that over Zoom and we can kind of, you know, just show how easy that process would be.

01:42:59.000 You get somebody that you know.

01:43:01.000 Yeah, all you need is a measuring tape, the floppy Taylor's kind.

01:43:04.000 Totes.

01:43:05.000 And obviously you're not gonna have a yardstick.

01:43:07.000 Wrap it around your neck.

01:43:10.000 Second date.

01:43:11.000 She hasn't put out yet because she's a good girl.

01:43:13.000 Second date.

01:43:14.000 She fits you up for this.

01:43:15.000 So you do the Zoom, you have fun, you drink a little bit.

01:43:17.000 What are you talking about?

01:43:18.000 I'm talking about the fitting process on Zoom.

01:43:21.000 It feels like a second date?

01:43:22.000 No, no.

01:43:22.000 You take, you have the second date with this chick and she's the one putting up the measuring tape around you.

01:43:27.000 Oh, I see.

01:43:27.000 You may want to add that little detail.

01:43:29.000 If you're on a second date, have a woman do the measuring with you and it's a good way to flirt. 0.99

01:43:34.000 Okay.

01:43:34.000 That's correct.

01:43:35.000 Gotcha, gotcha.

01:43:36.000 All right, let's get to the mailbag.

01:43:37.000 Very long ep today.

01:43:38.000 Lots of stuff for freebies.

01:43:40.000 That's true, but there's one thing we did forget to and I wanted to add to this the other day. 0.98

01:43:44.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad. 0.98

01:43:48.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag. 1.00

01:43:54.000 Let me touch it.

01:43:55.000 Exactly, but otherwise I'm completely straight.

01:44:03.000 Uh... Someone wants us to know the Misfits are punk.

01:44:05.000 It's called horror punk.

01:44:07.000 Okay.

01:44:08.000 I've never heard that phrase before.

01:44:11.000 Um... That horror's a bit of a punk.

01:44:13.000 Wait a minute.

01:44:13.000 Didn't I have... Again?

01:44:16.000 Again.

01:44:17.000 Okay.

01:44:19.000 Um... What is the opposite of sprinkles?

01:44:22.000 Whatever this is. 1.00

01:44:23.000 This is a sad woman that's better off being a mom and not a cum dumpster. 1.00

01:44:27.000 I haven't screened this yet. 0.99

01:44:29.000 I usually do.

01:44:33.000 But, uh, wow.

01:44:34.000 Wait, I don't see that there.

01:44:35.000 It's called Opposites?

01:44:36.000 It's not flagged.

01:44:37.000 It's called Kill Tony's One Minute Murders.

01:44:40.000 Gotcha.

01:44:40.000 Unflagged, going.

01:44:42.000 Here we go.

01:44:45.000 Never heard of a Chelby Morgan before.

01:44:47.000 Make some noise for Chelby, everybody!

01:44:49.000 Has she got no shirt on?

01:44:51.000 Did you know that in Idaho, you can pay $200 a night to stay in a giant potato?

01:44:56.000 In Austin, you can just ask me nicely.

01:45:00.000 That's a pretty good joke.

01:45:03.000 I was literally thinking you look like a giant potato, so I'm glad she said that.

01:45:08.000 She identified the potato in the room.

01:45:11.000 That's a good joke.

01:45:13.000 It's not sprinkles.

01:45:14.000 Stings a little bit.

01:45:16.000 Stings a little.

01:45:18.000 I do try to practice self-love.

01:45:19.000 Sometimes I spit in my own mouth.

01:45:22.000 That's funny too.

01:45:24.000 Although, what do women do when they do standup? 1.00

01:45:27.000 They just make disgusting sex jokes, because that's all they got. 1.00

01:45:31.000 I have a boyfriend somehow, but I don't like everything he takes me to do. 0.99

01:45:36.000 Sometimes he tries to take me to the shooting range, but I just don't enjoy it, because for me, shooting a gun is a lot like giving a handjob. 0.99

01:45:44.000 Like most women, I'm not very good at it, and I would really rather just put it in my mouth. 1.00

01:45:48.000 That's like, not bad.

01:45:51.000 She's fine.

01:45:52.000 You need to, I don't know, tweak it a little bit, but whatever.

01:45:58.000 Here's a weird one.

01:46:01.000 She was like, not hot Britney Venti. 1.00

01:46:04.000 No, I'm not saying she's out.

01:46:05.000 I'm saying that the world thinks she's out.

01:46:07.000 Whatever.

01:46:08.000 Uh, which one are we at? 1.00

01:46:09.000 Wait, are you so pussy-whipped that you can't even say women are hot? 1.00

01:46:12.000 To be fair, I don't find her hot. 1.00

01:46:14.000 But I know that she is hot. 1.00

01:46:15.000 Okay, tell me, prove it then.

01:46:17.000 Tell me someone you do find hot.

01:46:19.000 Uh, that chick from Two Broke Girls. 1.00

01:46:22.000 Uh, whatever the fuck her name is. 1.00

01:46:24.000 She just married Andrew W.K. 1.00

01:46:26.000 Kat Dennings?

01:46:27.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:46:28.000 Fuck! 1.00

01:46:29.000 Just kidding. 1.00

01:46:31.000 Fuck, I was going to fuck her in the next life. 1.00

01:46:38.000 Like any Jewish woman is very attractive, usually. 1.00

01:46:42.000 That's how they get you.

01:46:44.000 And the next thing you know, your kids are like, oy, yoy, yoy, yoy, yoy. 0.99

01:46:47.000 And you're like, damn it. 0.99

01:46:49.000 Okay. 0.99

01:46:52.000 Hey, yins guys. 0.96

01:46:53.000 I don't get that.

01:46:55.000 Have you ever heard of Nora Vincent?

01:46:56.000 She was a lesbo who lived as a man for a year and a half. 0.99

01:46:58.000 She wasn't trans, but she was writing a book about the male experience.

01:47:01.000 A lot of gays in books here.

01:47:03.000 Yins is a slang for like y'all. 0.97

01:47:06.000 In Pennsylvania, I looked it up, in the Appalachian Mountains.

01:47:11.000 Gay books, that's this episode. 0.81

01:47:14.000 She was interviewed for a piece on 2020 in 2006 and she talked about all the scenarios she tried out as a guy.

01:47:19.000 She went to strip clubs and tried to go on dates. 1.00

01:47:21.000 I'm sure the females sussed out that there was something wrong with this guy. 0.85

01:47:25.000 Okay?

01:47:26.000 Pheromones, they can just smell some things up.

01:47:29.000 Just like Biden told us in that awesome diatribe about trans people.

01:47:34.000 She's hardly a supermodel or movie star, but today, Nora Vinson is getting the full-blown glamour treatment. 0.99

01:47:40.000 Thanks.

01:47:40.000 I wish I could see her watching this episode.

01:47:42.000 Okay, that's a weird thing to start with, but okay.

01:47:45.000 Nora's a writer, and one of these shots will adorn the cover of her new book.

01:47:50.000 This wasn't just a stunt.

01:47:51.000 This was about learning.

01:47:53.000 This is a human project.

01:47:55.000 It was about finding something- As opposed to- About the human creature.

01:47:59.000 Animal project?

01:47:59.000 And I learned it the best possible way because I went through it.

01:48:03.000 No, you didn't.

01:48:04.000 Yeah, a little bit shorter on the top.

01:48:19.000 I am Jeremy Renner.

01:48:21.000 She starred in Marvel's Avengers.

01:48:24.000 I found that girls are really not horny around men.

01:48:29.000 And girls end dates early. 1.00

01:48:32.000 And girls often accuse men of being effeminate and having a weird chick voice for some strange reason.

01:48:38.000 Even though it was just an experiment, Norris said the whole experience messed with her sense of identity and made her extremely depressed.

01:48:43.000 She committed suicide about a year ago.

01:48:45.000 That's the real reason for the higher suicide rate among trans people. 1.00

01:48:48.000 They aren't actually the opposite sex trapped in their body.

01:48:50.000 They just don't understand themselves.

01:48:52.000 They need therapy, not enabling.

01:48:54.000 So for Dylan Mulvaney, who's only 26, whatever artificial happiness he's getting from all the media attention, reality is going to catch up with him.

01:49:01.000 Eventually.

01:49:02.000 Probably after all the cameras have gone away.

01:49:03.000 He's not going to like it.

01:49:05.000 Yes, absolutely. 0.99

01:49:06.000 Dylan Mulvaney is going to kill himself. 0.99

01:49:08.000 I feel bad. 0.99

01:49:09.000 I wish I hadn't jocked on this broad.

01:49:13.000 Whoops.

01:49:15.000 Vice lawsuits.

01:49:16.000 I need my money mustache man.

01:49:18.000 Oh great.

01:49:20.000 I guess I'm getting sued again for having nothing to do with Vice.

01:49:24.000 Do you have an account with Vice Media?

01:49:25.000 Have you ever watched videos?

01:49:26.000 You may be entitled to compensation.

01:49:28.000 Is that a joke dude?

01:49:30.000 I can't tell.

01:49:30.000 Wow.

01:49:32.000 I don't, I don't ever ask if something's a joke anymore because like that black kid axing the tree, a question, that's just as good as a birthday boy sketch so I'm equally satisfied. 0.99

01:49:43.000 Oh shit. 0.99

01:49:45.000 What? 1.00

01:49:46.000 I saw one that said that you call Anthony Andrew.

01:49:49.000 Oh, I did.

01:49:50.000 That's funny.

01:49:51.000 I did.

01:49:51.000 It was an accident.

01:49:52.000 Did he call it out?

01:49:53.000 He laughed, yeah.

01:49:54.000 Oh, okay.

01:49:54.000 I didn't mean to.

01:49:55.000 That's fine. 1.00

01:49:57.000 This one just says he's a fag. 1.00

01:50:02.000 Oh, this is pupil records teachers radical LGBT. 0.99

01:50:06.000 You gotta go to the very beginning of this.

01:50:11.000 You don't have a choice whether or not you learn about LGBTQ plus in school.

01:50:15.000 You don't have a choice.

01:50:17.000 It's one of our values, the British value.

01:50:19.000 And if you refuse to do it, that will be dealt with severely.

01:50:22.000 Why would I not?

01:50:24.000 Why would I care if anyone in this room wants to love somebody, whether it be a man or a woman?

01:50:29.000 Why would I care if someone wants to say, you know what, I don't know if I'm more male or female.

01:50:34.000 There's two separate things here.

01:50:36.000 One is, do you care if two adults, what two adults do in their bedroom? 0.99

01:50:40.000 The answer is no for 99% of the fucking world. 0.95

01:50:44.000 Maybe not 99, but a lot of, most of us, anyone we know, right? 0.98

01:50:50.000 Teaching it in school?

01:50:51.000 What are you teaching?

01:50:52.000 The various details of polyamory?

01:50:55.000 No.

01:50:55.000 And he said that's part of British culture?

01:50:57.000 I believe buggery was illegal up until like 1965 in Britain.

01:51:03.000 So no, it's not really a stalwart of British history.

01:51:07.000 Why does that matter to me?

01:51:11.000 Why does that matter?

01:51:11.000 It's not hurting you.

01:51:13.000 Why is he so mad?

01:51:14.000 But it definitely hurts other people by the words you use.

01:51:18.000 And you don't understand that this has the impact

01:51:20.000 When I was at school, and I remember it now, when I was in an English class, I used to sit with my hand like this, and you're sat now like this.

01:51:27.000 I used to be sat like this.

01:51:28.000 Dude, I was right.

01:51:30.000 Okay, in 1861, the Buggery Act was...

01:51:39.000 The Buggery Act was from 1533. 0.96

01:51:40.000 You're not allowed to have butt sex, even straights I assume. 1.00

01:51:44.000 But sex between men was punishable by death until 1861.

01:51:48.000 And the United Kingdom, the UK Parliament, repealed buggery laws for England and Wales in 1967.

01:51:57.000 So my joke was pretty accurate. 1.00

01:51:59.000 Alright, that's enough of that stupid shit. 1.00

01:52:03.000 Fucking retards. 1.00

01:52:08.000 Budweiser is for cunts. 1.00

01:52:11.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:52:12.000 My God, Gavin, really? 1.00

01:52:13.000 You're a fucking millionaire, which none of us are. 1.00

01:52:15.000 You really can't just separate yourself from those faggots celebrating cunts? 1.00

01:52:19.000 What an absolute pussy move. 1.00

01:52:20.000 Be a fucking man, for Christ's sakes. 1.00

01:52:23.000 See? 1.00

01:52:25.000 Like, they just don't get it.

01:52:29.000 I am more steadfast in my beliefs now.

01:52:32.000 I will be wearing Budweiser everywhere I go.

01:52:37.000 When I'm done with Bud, it's gonna look like Fred Perry.

01:52:41.000 Hey Ryan!

01:52:42.000 Yes?

01:52:43.000 It's just a letter to you.

01:52:44.000 It's probably boring.

01:52:45.000 I'm not gonna bother.

01:52:46.000 Okay.

01:52:47.000 Since you're a guitar nerd, was wondering what your thoughts were on John Mayer as a guitarist.

01:52:53.000 Didn't realize he did more than catchy radio tunes, but I've seen old videos of him recently covering Hendrix and was pretty impressed.

01:53:00.000 His solo on Wait Until Tomorrow was decent.

01:53:03.000 Thoughts?

01:53:04.000 Yes, well you are a little late to the party.

01:53:06.000 I think the world understands that John Mayer is an exquisite guitar player for sure and very tasteful but also very technical really when you look at it.

01:53:15.000 Now he doesn't, my only problem with him is he doesn't really venture out of the blues and blues just kind of feels a little muddy to me sometimes.

01:53:23.000 But I'm in he's impressive super impressive super delicious licks Almost like better than slash in some regards, but not as cartoony and pop and vivid as slash might be however, he is fairly good and Toodles to you.

01:53:40.000 That was rough.

01:53:41.000 What's the opposite of the birthday because I want you to do a show That's on the opposite.

01:53:46.000 I guess my funeral.

01:53:47.000 Can you do a show on guitar styles for my funeral?

01:53:50.000 Oh

01:53:51.000 Sure, if you want me to.

01:53:52.000 Thank you.

01:53:54.000 I think I'm busy that day.

01:53:56.000 That might make me happy that I'm dead.

01:53:57.000 I too sleep nude.

01:54:01.000 What are your top five reasons why?

01:54:03.000 P.S.

01:54:03.000 My wife also sleeps nude.

01:54:05.000 Cut to Ryan shredding. 0.76

01:54:08.000 I sleep nude.

01:54:10.000 My parents always slept nude.

01:54:12.000 I don't know.

01:54:12.000 It's just my culture.

01:54:14.000 I also feel like it airs out my junk. 0.99

01:54:17.000 I feel like my butt is particularly tight. 0.99

01:54:20.000 Not my butthole, but the way the cheeks are compressed. 0.98

01:54:23.000 And I like to get some air flowing through there. 0.98

01:54:27.000 I wish I did.

01:54:28.000 I can't wait till the kids move out because I don't like having to get dressed the second I wake up.

01:54:32.000 I want to like get a coffee nude, read the paper nude.

01:54:35.000 Nude around a little bit. 0.95

01:54:37.000 My wife sleeps in, like, a three-piece suit. 1.00

01:54:41.000 She has leggings and a t-shirt on and something else on and socks and underwear and, like, she's... If we ever have a house fire, she won't have to put on anything but shoes.

01:54:50.000 Sunglasses, fucking... I thought it would be funny to, when we lived in an apartment building, to just come out at the fire warning and just be nude going, poof. 0.99

01:55:01.000 Hell of a fire there.

01:55:04.000 Man, oh, man.

01:55:05.000 And then maybe there's a kid there and I sort of squat down.

01:55:08.000 Hey little buddy!

01:55:09.000 Hope you're not scared.

01:55:10.000 It's just a fire.

01:55:11.000 It's gonna get put out, alright?

01:55:15.000 I'm glad I didn't do that on stage.

01:55:16.000 Apparently it's not funny.

01:55:18.000 I'm sorry, I was distracted.

01:55:19.000 I was looking ahead at the other letters to make sure I could cue up the thing.

01:55:22.000 Good news and bad news.

01:55:23.000 Good news, baby number two is here.

01:55:25.000 Bad news, it was a stillbirth.

01:55:28.000 No, that's not true.

01:55:29.000 That's pretty harsh.

01:55:30.000 That's not true.

01:55:31.000 Beautiful stillbirth, though.

01:55:32.000 God bless.

01:55:33.000 Just kidding.

01:55:34.000 Bad news, the wife hated the name. 1.00

01:55:36.000 That's funny.

01:55:37.000 That African-American woman was looking at my name. 1.00

01:55:53.000 It was spelled correctly, G-A-V-I-N-M-C-I-N-N-E-S. 1.00

01:55:57.000 And imagine seeing that and saying, hmm, cabey-ines? 0.99

01:56:03.000 A G is a C, a V is a B. And the mic doesn't exist.

01:56:07.000 I-N is Y. The M-C is silent. 0.98

01:56:11.000 M-C vanishes too. 0.93

01:56:12.000 It's they say that the Indians, when they first saw the Spanish coming in the ships, they couldn't see them.

01:56:17.000 And it's called perceptual blindness, I believe, because your brain just gets overloaded.

01:56:21.000 So they just saw flat.

01:56:23.000 C. Perceptually blind.

01:56:26.000 Everything.

01:56:29.000 Because they can't handle it.

01:56:30.000 I guess Mick is like, that's gone.

01:56:35.000 So cute.

01:56:35.000 Congratulations, John.

01:56:36.000 We'll end with that.

01:56:37.000 Let's get to the final vid, shall we?

01:56:39.000 We shall.

01:56:57.000 Trainspotting is still a thing.

01:56:58.000 Beautiful bird.

01:57:00.000 Clearly it's from autism, right?

01:57:02.000 Clearly, um...

01:57:07.000 People with Asperger's, they focus on a random thing.

01:57:10.000 Could be cruise ships, could be mascots, could be dishwashers I've seen.

01:57:15.000 And these people end up getting a job at Maytag.

01:57:17.000 They've always been an integral part of the economy.

01:57:20.000 We need these freaks to, we need their hyper focus.

01:57:24.000 And I hope this guy works with the railways in some capacity.

01:57:29.000 But where do you see the way these... They're strictly British, too.

01:57:33.000 You don't really see it in America, do you?

01:57:35.000 Maybe you do, I don't know.

01:57:36.000 But here is a guy who seems to be a perfectly functioning member of society.

01:57:41.000 Okay, we gotta stop.

01:57:48.000 Don't stop recording, but go into the perpetual thing.

01:57:52.000 Perpetual?

01:57:52.000 And look up the word spaz.

01:57:55.000 Oh, in the master list.

01:57:57.000 In the master list?

01:58:00.000 I don't know why I didn't include it in this.

01:58:01.000 Oh, because I didn't have room.

01:58:02.000 Because we're already way over the limit.

01:58:05.000 I could do two shows a day.

01:58:08.000 Would that be good or bad for the subs? 0.59

01:58:11.000 Because I think what happens is everyone instinctually goes, yeah, more!

01:58:14.000 But, um...

01:58:17.000 I think that it just piles up and it becomes like a to-do list and then they just stop watching entirely.

01:58:23.000 But I saw this, you know my new thing where I kept thanking God that I don't have any spazzes out of three kids? 1.00

01:58:30.000 I'm very, very lucky.

01:58:31.000 Thank you God, thank you God, thank you God.

01:58:33.000 But this woman appears to have the opposite luck and here are her three spazzes. 1.00

01:58:38.000 I don't know if they're all hers, probably one of them is.

01:58:41.000 But I'm so fortunate I don't have this at home.

01:58:46.000 There's not a voice processing thing in there?

01:58:51.000 I got an M&M blast!

01:59:14.000 That's my favorite.

01:59:16.000 It sounds like there's audio processing on it.

01:59:18.000 I got an M&M Blast!

01:59:20.000 I think that's a drop.

01:59:21.000 It's starting to hurt my ribs.

01:59:22.000 Please stop.

01:59:23.000 I got an M&M Blast!

01:59:26.000 That's my favorite.

01:59:29.000 I got an M&M Blast!

01:59:32.000 That's my favorite.

01:59:35.000 I got an M&M Blast!

01:59:39.000 That's my favorite.

01:59:41.000 I got an M&M Blast!

01:59:45.000 That's my favorite.

01:59:47.000 I got my usual, my good ol' M&M Blast!

01:59:51.000 It's my favorite.

01:59:54.000 Alright, I'm gonna play it.

01:59:56.000 Nice and hot today.

01:59:58.000 It's nice and hot, but it's cold outside.

02:00:01.000 We're at Sonic's with the three amigos, Michael, Eric, and Michaela!

02:00:08.000 Michael, what'd you get?

02:00:09.000 Tater Tots and Oreo Blast.

02:00:12.000 Eric, what'd you get?

02:00:13.000 Tater tots, cheese, and jalapeno.

02:00:15.000 Ooh, those look good.

02:00:16.000 Can I share?

02:00:17.000 Sure.

02:00:17.000 Mikayla, what did you get?

02:00:18.000 I got an M&M Blast!

02:00:22.000 An M&M Blast!

02:00:23.000 This is my favorite.

02:00:24.000 It's your favorite?

02:00:26.000 Okay, so I just had to show that.

02:00:29.000 And I'd like to end the week on a high note.

02:00:32.000 So let's look at autism being on the spectrum when it's not that severe and it actually has the potential to do good.

02:00:40.000 Like if this guy's employed by the railways, then he's going to be making a lot of money.

02:00:45.000 I got out of bed at 4.30 this morning as I heard that there was a really rare train coming through Shorford Station.

02:00:52.000 It's a Class 56 and it's due through here in a moment.

02:00:59.000 It's thrashing!

02:01:10.000 It gave me a shock!

02:01:13.000 I'm the 50!

02:01:13.000 It's still doing tones!

02:01:24.000 Can you buy me one of those?

02:01:26.000 We'll catch up with them if they're going to be that tone happy.

02:01:28.000 And that's exactly what happened.

02:01:30.000 Did you hear what he said?

02:01:31.000 I've got to catch up to them if they're going to be that tone happy.

02:01:34.000 Meaning he has to drive like a few stations down and get another few tones.

02:01:38.000 And he did it.

02:01:40.000 I raced them all the way to Leamington Spa.

02:01:42.000 Wait, I haven't seen this.

02:01:43.000 Oh my god, was it worth it.

02:01:44.000 Oh my god, was it worth it.

02:01:46.000 That thing looks cool.

02:01:47.000 Maybe I'm autistic.

02:01:48.000 That train looks sick. 0.77

02:01:56.000 Hellfire!

02:02:00.000 Did you say hellfire?

02:02:05.000 I think he did.

02:02:07.000 Hellfire?

02:02:12.000 He's coming.

02:02:14.000 They are pure sources of joy.

02:02:17.000 You gotta buy me one of those head things so I can walk around and have that head thing.

02:02:21.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting. 0.94

02:02:26.000 Crash, die, stop, start, stop, panic, stop, drive, crash, die, stop, start, guilt.

02:02:37.000 Guilt. 0.53

02:02:37.000 I wanna be sad and I wanna be sad with you. 0.53

02:02:45.000 I enjoy the unattainable goal.

02:02:47.000 I'd take someone I love to the Andes just so I wouldn't have to explain it to them.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - April 08, 2023

S4E237 - GAY BOOKS

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