Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - April 14, 2023


S4E240 - HIMBOS AREN'T TOUGH


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 15 minutes

Words per Minute

163.6122

Word Count

22,164

Sentence Count

2,190

Misogynist Sentences

117

Hate Speech Sentences

134


Summary

R.L. Burnside and Gavin McInnes talk about Led Zeppelin, the 90s, and trannies. Also, Gavin talks about how he looks like an Asian crybaby. Get Off My Lawn is on all of the social medias, if you search for it, you'll find us. Subscribe, Like, and Share to stay up to date with what's going on in the world of music, comedy, and pop culture! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE on Apple Podcasts or wherever else you get your stuff. Thanks for listening and share the podcast with your friends and family! It helps spread the word. XOXO, Caitlyn and Jordan. Thank you so much for being a part of this podcast and supporting it. Stay tuned for the next episode next Friday. Get off my lawn! -Gavin Caitlyn's Note: This episode was recorded live from New York, but we had to cut it short due to space and time constraints. We apologize for the delay in this episode. We'll get back up to speed in the next one. - We'll be back next Friday, folks. Gavin's next episode will be out in a few days. (Sorry about the delay. We had a lot going on. We can't wait until next week. We promise it'll be better than last Friday. We're working on this one, we'll get better by then. -- we promise. Also, we promise you that we'll make it better than the rest of the podcast next week, we can promise you'll get it by next week! -- Caitlyn -- - Thank you for the support you'll hear about that, right? -Budweiser, we love you, baby (and we appreciate you, y'all, we know you'll see you soon, we're all gonna get a chance to hear about it soon, right, right?? Thanks, bye, bye. Love ya'll. Love ya, bye! Caitie, Gave it out, bye Love, Caitie Gav, Gav xxx -Gave it, GAVY, R.A.


Transcript

00:00:03.000 Y'all not there?
00:00:04.000 Alright, let's get this thing moving.
00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
00:00:57.000 That was R.L.
00:00:59.000 Burnside.
00:00:59.000 What was that song?
00:01:01.000 A Bothered Mind or is that the album?
00:01:02.000 A Bothered Mind.
00:01:04.000 Let's make sure there's a Budweiser in the shot.
00:01:06.000 Someday Baby.
00:01:06.000 It's called.
00:01:08.000 Someday Baby.
00:01:10.000 Now I'm a child of the 90s in a sense.
00:01:14.000 20s was in the 90s.
00:01:15.000 My 20s.
00:01:16.000 And I remember him.
00:01:18.000 The hipster scene was obsessed with him.
00:01:21.000 Maybe it's because it was an attainable blues, but he went on tour with the John Spencer Blues Explosion.
00:01:26.000 They did an album together.
00:01:27.000 It was critically acclaimed.
00:01:30.000 Blues guys hated the album.
00:01:33.000 And I don't know, I couldn't help but think there's a latent guilt there with white people, with Led Zeppelin, and they think Elvis ripped off the blues.
00:01:41.000 And when they found a guy that didn't sound, sounded a little, I don't know, funky, esoteric, attainable,
00:01:50.000 They got really excited and said, can we get together?
00:01:54.000 Fat Possum Records, I think, began because of him.
00:01:56.000 And all these old punks were putting out his albums.
00:02:01.000 But the love affair didn't last.
00:02:05.000 And he went out on his own and died of, I don't know, like a throat infection or something.
00:02:13.000 But he was a real deal dude who was around in the 30s.
00:02:17.000 I think he picked his own cotton.
00:02:21.000 You can't get more authentic than that.
00:02:22.000 He's like another Jesse Lee Peterson who could talk about the old days because he was there.
00:02:33.000 I love drinking bud on the show because it's the only time I can drink bud.
00:02:37.000 Because I know I'm hurting their reputation.
00:02:39.000 It really sucks, though, to go to a bar and drink it.
00:02:43.000 Actually, no one does.
00:02:44.000 And I've noticed now at the bar, when you order a bud, people go, oh!
00:02:48.000 Look at you.
00:02:49.000 It's like showing up in a dress.
00:02:53.000 But the jury's still out on Bud Light.
00:02:54.000 I don't know.
00:02:56.000 You sound like climate change activists when you go, oh, they're hurting now.
00:02:59.000 It's been a week, dude.
00:03:02.000 Oh, you had a hot summer?
00:03:03.000 Does that mean the earth is warming?
00:03:04.000 Uh, besides the six month trend is upward.
00:03:08.000 This incident is a blip in their history.
00:03:10.000 Look!
00:03:11.000 I hate what that dumb bitch did, and I hate this whole woke thing, and I hate the whole... I'm a transphobe.
00:03:16.000 I'm literally scared of them.
00:03:17.000 I'm not an Islamophobe.
00:03:19.000 I'm not a homophobe.
00:03:20.000 Actually, I'm an Islamophobe.
00:03:21.000 I'm scared of radical Islam.
00:03:24.000 I'm definitely not a homophobe, but trannies?
00:03:27.000 Yeah, I'm scared of them.
00:03:28.000 They're nuts.
00:03:29.000 That's been the pattern I've noticed.
00:03:31.000 Like, think of, you know, speaking of the 90s, if you're at a bar and there was like four trannies in the corner, you're just like,
00:03:38.000 I'm avoiding that.
00:03:39.000 And it's not because you're scared they're gonna touch your dick.
00:03:42.000 No, because I remember those dudes.
00:03:43.000 They would kick the shit out of people.
00:03:45.000 Like, they've been in fights a few times.
00:03:47.000 So, if there's one person in the bar who can beat anyone up in the bar, it's the tranny.
00:03:53.000 They were tough.
00:03:54.000 Because they had to be.
00:03:56.000 If you gotta be trans, then you gotta be tough.
00:04:00.000 And I'm not, it's not because they were fag bashed or anything, it's because they were doing drugs and they were in with weirdos and they were attracted to like bad boy gangsters who would then feel weird that they fucked a dude up the ass.
00:04:12.000 Anyway, sorry, this is the free show, the Friday show, it's a sponsored show.
00:04:16.000 We like to keep it clean and fun.
00:04:17.000 I have to explain why I look like an Asian crybaby.
00:04:21.000 We pre-recorded a Turtle Boy interview that we'll show at the end of the show today.
00:04:26.000 And then right after we were done, which was about an hour ago, I walked back to my desk and Satan pissed in my eye.
00:04:32.000 So I started itching it.
00:04:33.000 Then fucking a bunch of demons start laying eggs in my other eye, my neck.
00:04:39.000 I had the worst allergy attack I've ever had.
00:04:42.000 Had.
00:04:44.000 Have.
00:04:44.000 I'm a having.
00:04:46.000 I ran out the studio, ran down the street to CVS, got some nasal spray.
00:04:52.000 It doesn't work.
00:04:54.000 And I thought, okay, I'll wait a little bit because you can't do a show looking like someone just beat you up.
00:04:59.000 Sometimes my mom put like sugar on a little rag and she puts it on my eye and then that works out pretty good.
00:05:05.000 Oh yeah?
00:05:05.000 Yep.
00:05:06.000 I can't see your face.
00:05:07.000 Who are you?
00:05:08.000 Oh, I'm Ryan's cousin?
00:05:09.000 Oh.
00:05:10.000 I look like I'm wearing racist novelty glasses.
00:05:15.000 It does look very Asian.
00:05:18.000 This is how it usually happens.
00:05:20.000 It kills anyone who's slightly allergic to pollen knows what I'm talking about.
00:05:24.000 It kills, then you itch like crazy, and then the pain goes away, and then you look like a freak.
00:05:30.000 So people see you and they go, Oh my God, are you okay?
00:05:32.000 And you're like, yeah, yeah.
00:05:33.000 If you're seeing anything, it's over.
00:05:35.000 It's sort of like that herpes outbreak I had on my nose a couple of weeks ago or last week.
00:05:40.000 Your nose hurts like hell.
00:05:41.000 It feels like third degree burns.
00:05:43.000 Then the pain goes away and then the scabs form.
00:05:45.000 So if you see someone in pain, they're not in pain anymore when it comes to those two things.
00:05:52.000 Uh,
00:05:54.000 Yes, the hardcore mix is out.
00:05:56.000 I don't know.
00:05:56.000 These re-releases of music seem to be flopping.
00:05:59.000 I put out Eno Chinook on the internet, my old band from the late 80s.
00:06:04.000 No one seems to give a shit.
00:06:08.000 I thought they'd be flying off the shelves.
00:06:10.000 Thank God I didn't spend 10 grand on vinyl.
00:06:13.000 Holy crap, that would have been embarrassing.
00:06:15.000 The views on YouTube are like 173.
00:06:20.000 OK.
00:06:21.000 A lot of people listen on Spotify usually and it's
00:06:25.000 Is there a way to see how many people have listened to it?
00:06:27.000 On Spotify they like to they really like hold it tight like
00:06:32.000 I was at a Puerto Ricans for Thanksgiving and there was a dude there he had a he had like a crazy jerry curl perm he was wearing UGG boots he had his nails did like with with color on them.
00:06:44.000 Oh that was Jerry.
00:06:45.000 You know Jerry?
00:06:46.000 And he had a purse and I said uh I can't remember what I was talking about it's like and then there's that gay dude there and they go what gay dude and they go the dude with the purse the Gucci purse he's not gay
00:06:58.000 Okay.
00:07:00.000 I guess Puerto Ricans carry... I don't mean like a fanny pack.
00:07:03.000 I mean a purse, a handbag.
00:07:05.000 Well, yeah, like what if you have to carry groceries back home and shit?
00:07:10.000 What kind of groceries?
00:07:11.000 An orange and a carrot?
00:07:13.000 No, but you have to hold your shit too.
00:07:15.000 Oh, I see.
00:07:16.000 Come on, man.
00:07:17.000 The other day my mom was coming home from the grocery store and the guys from the neighborhood offered to carry them for her.
00:07:23.000 Nice.
00:07:24.000 I think it was out of respect.
00:07:26.000 Out of respect.
00:07:28.000 We have a new sponsor this week.
00:07:31.000 Sonoran.
00:07:32.000 I hope I'm pronouncing it right.
00:07:33.000 I thought it was Sonoran.
00:07:35.000 Sonoran Defense Technologies.
00:07:36.000 It's a laser engraving company and firearms dealer based in Arizona with a focus on the online community.
00:07:43.000 While they specialize in Glock polymer laser stippling custom Glock builds and other firearms engraving, they can also laser engrave many different products.
00:07:53.000 Sonoran Defense has several easy-to-order laser stippling packages, but can also accommodate one-off custom designs upon request.
00:08:02.000 I do believe they make a GOML magazine.
00:08:07.000 Is it a magazine?
00:08:08.000 Nothing more embarrassing than New Yorkers talking about guns.
00:08:12.000 Yeah, there's too many semi-automatic AR-15s in the world.
00:08:16.000 They should do background checks.
00:08:19.000 Actually, I know you guys who know about guns hate us New Yorkers, but you should notice that we have the strictest gun laws imaginable, and we still have a murder a day.
00:08:30.000 Au Moins, which is French for at least.
00:08:35.000 Here we go.
00:08:35.000 Look at these things.
00:08:38.000 Oh, those are cool.
00:08:39.000 Too bad I will never be allowed to have one in this city.
00:08:46.000 At least the taxes are low, and fair, and reasonable.
00:08:51.000 Sonoran Defense also offers laser-marked AR-15 magazines.
00:08:54.000 Oh, I got it right.
00:08:55.000 They are... Remember with that shooting too, my wife, who's a woman, was like, what's going on with the guns?
00:09:02.000 And I go, my understanding is it wasn't an AR-15 that did the shooting.
00:09:06.000 Well, obviously it wasn't, you know what I mean?
00:09:07.000 The shooter didn't use an AR-15, the tranny, but it was an AR-15 that took her down.
00:09:12.000 But have you noticed, and I mentioned this yesterday, that when anyone talks about mass shootings and guns, they never want to know the details of the shooter.
00:09:22.000 Like, they could have made the gun, or it could have been stolen from the military.
00:09:27.000 They never ask that.
00:09:27.000 They just go, we need more laws, clearly.
00:09:30.000 What if that gun was illegal?
00:09:33.000 They never care.
00:09:35.000 Isn't that weird?
00:09:37.000 I think deep down, anti-gun people, they don't want more laws.
00:09:41.000 They want guns gone.
00:09:44.000 And our old pal John Lott, who we've interviewed a million times on the show, pointed out that he met Obama when they were both professors at Chicago University, and Obama said to him, Professor Obama said, I don't want anyone to have guns.
00:09:59.000 Anyone.
00:10:00.000 Military, police, nobody.
00:10:03.000 He wants an America with zero guns.
00:10:06.000 To which John responds, okay, how fast do you think we will be replacing the guns that just vanished?
00:10:14.000 I'm guessing a nanosecond they start pouring back over the border after you magically go and erase them?
00:10:22.000 What a dumb mentality.
00:10:24.000 Anyway, sorry.
00:10:28.000 So, Laser Marked Era 15 magazine has many designs to choose from, as well as custom designs are not listed on the website for their social media followers, such as the Honkler, the Tay-Tay, as seen on Garan-Thumb on YouTube, and the- you know him?
00:10:42.000 Yeah, Garan-Thumb?
00:10:43.000 Hell yeah.
00:10:44.000 And they even have two designs of yours truly, Gavin McInnes, which we just showed.
00:10:48.000 They also do custom requests to put your own personalized images, text, or logos on mags for you.
00:10:54.000 Other examples of laser engraved products include hats with custom patches, slate or glass drink coasters, vinyl decals, Zippo lighters, flasks, water bottles, dog tags, ammo boxes, and more.
00:11:06.000 Anything metallic and polymer should work.
00:11:08.000 Great gift options for holidays, weddings, bachelor parties, birthdays, and any other occasion.
00:11:13.000 Maybe I'll get coasters for Gavs to have.
00:11:16.000 If you have a small business, a band, a restaurant, or anything where you're looking for merch, this is the place to go for any custom engravings on metals or polymers.
00:11:24.000 They have an in-depth, frequently asked questions page on their website for any questions you might have about their products and services.
00:11:30.000 So that's, I'm gonna say this very slowly here, Sonar, no, Sonor, S-O-N-O-R, and, spelled out, Defense.
00:11:42.000 Dot-com is their website.
00:11:44.000 Enter promo code Jokerface.
00:11:46.000 No, that D is for defense.
00:11:48.000 So Sonoran.
00:11:51.000 Oh, yeah, sorry.
00:11:51.000 God, I'm dumb.
00:11:53.000 That's the allergies talking.
00:11:54.000 I also have to say I did do about three shots of Jameson because I thought it could be the pollen.
00:12:00.000 It could be this the Cubans downstairs.
00:12:03.000 They gave me Jalapenos and maybe the Jalapenos are like
00:12:09.000 I don't know, dirty?
00:12:10.000 It is a dirty, disgusting restaurant.
00:12:12.000 I bet there's some cross-contamination.
00:12:13.000 That's why I did the shots, because I thought, I've already done the nasal spray, why don't I try to get some stuff down into the body that can burn bad things.
00:12:22.000 It kind of looks like it's getting better, no lie.
00:12:24.000 Does it feel better?
00:12:25.000 No cap?
00:12:26.000 No cap.
00:12:27.000 It's not hot fire, but it looks like it's chill-ing out.
00:12:32.000 So, Sonoran Defense.
00:12:35.000 It's Alec Baldwin.
00:12:36.000 Oh, that's cool.
00:12:37.000 Possibly Blakes.
00:12:39.000 SonoranDefense.com is their website.
00:12:43.000 Enter promo code JOKERFACE for 10% off everything except for firearms.
00:12:48.000 I can hear the neighbor's cleaning crew coming in.
00:12:53.000 I don't regret firing them.
00:12:55.000 Yeah, no.
00:12:55.000 They got you sick at their place, and now they're gonna... Yeah.
00:13:00.000 What do you think?
00:13:00.000 We haven't had a cleaner in here, in this studio, in... I'd say six months.
00:13:06.000 Yeah.
00:13:07.000 I have to admit, under my feet on my desk, it feels like sand.
00:13:11.000 Like a beach.
00:13:13.000 There's so much fuckin' dirt.
00:13:14.000 That's nice!
00:13:15.000 Your fag zone, by the way, is unbelievable.
00:13:19.000 It's as bad as your apartment was.
00:13:21.000 Because there's no wife in here.
00:13:23.000 She's not here.
00:13:24.000 Yeah.
00:13:25.000 It's unbelievable.
00:13:26.000 I almost took a picture of it the other day.
00:13:28.000 Like, can you point the camera down to what's around your feet?
00:13:31.000 I think I gotta unconnect it and reconnect it, because... There's, like, Gatorade bottles full of piss and fucking... No, no, I threw those out.
00:13:38.000 Bud Light and, like, a million... What are those things you chew?
00:13:41.000 What are you chewing right now?
00:13:43.000 Gum.
00:13:44.000 I ate a lollipop.
00:13:44.000 Don't chew gum on a show.
00:13:46.000 Alright.
00:13:46.000 It's the first time I had a lollipop in a while.
00:13:47.000 I forgot there was gum, so I ate it.
00:13:50.000 First time I've had a lollipop in a while, I forgot there was gum, so I ate it.
00:13:54.000 That's like seven levels of annoying.
00:13:58.000 I think my brain has an allergy.
00:14:02.000 Yeah, you're allergic to knowledge.
00:14:03.000 Hey, not you.
00:14:06.000 We got an important notice about the hardcore mix.
00:14:10.000 I felt bad about not including Gorilla Biscuits.
00:14:13.000 Anthony Civarelli did my back tattoo.
00:14:15.000 Civ, the singer.
00:14:16.000 But I'm sorry, I don't like earnest hardcore.
00:14:20.000 And re-listening in the car today to Never Go Back by Dag Nasty.
00:14:26.000 It is the gayest, most cringe lyrics, because the music's cool.
00:14:31.000 I've ever heard.
00:14:33.000 He screams all the smiling faces!
00:14:36.000 He's talking about going through a photo album and seeing his friends that he's not friends with anymore.
00:14:41.000 And he's screaming all those smiling faces?
00:14:45.000 What a twat.
00:14:47.000 Sorry, Dave Smalley.
00:14:49.000 You should be embarrassed.
00:14:52.000 Anyway, I'm not saying Gorilla Biscuits are like that, but are you sure you don't like earnest music?
00:14:56.000 All I needed was a friend
00:15:01.000 What is that?
00:15:03.000 Ernest?
00:15:03.000 Oh.
00:15:09.000 Just a little addendum.
00:15:10.000 Gangrene is from Boston.
00:15:11.000 Chai Pig is dead.
00:15:13.000 Dickie Barrett was an impact unit, but part of the OG Boston crew from Raleigh.
00:15:18.000 Void was from Baltimore.
00:15:19.000 Negative Approach were 100% hardcore, despite me saying they were punk.
00:15:23.000 And probably the biggest influence on New York hardcore with Blitz, Mike.
00:15:27.000 And no one took Warzone seriously.
00:15:29.000 All their fans were fleshy shaved metal heads.
00:15:32.000 That's good to know.
00:15:35.000 Before we start the show,
00:15:38.000 You gotta see this clip.
00:15:39.000 I texted it to you, Ryan, not the- take the most, most recent one, because it's got a good Willem Dafoe ending, but Joe Biden is in Ireland right now crying about his son, which I guess is fine.
00:15:49.000 I mean, I'd obviously, if anything- fuck, if my son stubbed his toe, I'd start bawling, but if I was president, and everyone was watching the world, I think I might be like, I gotta go poo, and then like go cry in the port-a-potty.
00:16:04.000 But anyway, this isn't that.
00:16:05.000 This is him doing a spontaneous speech about, I don't know, it's like the King speech.
00:16:10.000 I used to stutter and now I'm awesome.
00:16:11.000 And then, you're not going to believe how he ends this speech.
00:16:14.000 Don't worry, it's short.
00:16:18.000 Thank you for coming home to us.
00:16:19.000 Thank you for coming home to us!
00:16:21.000 And a how'd you do and a teller more do!
00:16:24.000 And a to it and to whom, Mrs. Zoom?
00:16:28.000 I invite you to take the floor.
00:16:33.000 You know what I love about Joe?
00:16:35.000 He's at home everywhere because he's a lunatic dementia patient.
00:16:40.000 So if he's in a black audience he's like, what's up motherfuckers?
00:16:44.000 Y'all are crazy!
00:16:46.000 Or he goes to a Jewish synagogue and he says, I'm more Jewish than most of you.
00:16:50.000 That's true.
00:16:51.000 I'm not exaggerating.
00:16:53.000 If you don't vote for me, you ain't black.
00:16:55.000 Right?
00:16:55.000 Right.
00:16:57.000 What other group?
00:16:58.000 There's a few other groups where he just said, like, after Catholic Church.
00:17:02.000 Oh, yeah.
00:17:02.000 He said in both instances, he said, I would go to the synagogue or I would go to the temple after Catholic Church.
00:17:09.000 What?
00:17:10.000 You mean like nobody?
00:17:12.000 And then he also said he would go to black churches after.
00:17:16.000 You just did a whole church day on Sunday, didn't you Joe?
00:17:19.000 To try to get the tithes from your church back?
00:17:24.000 And then he, remember he went to that black church and was like, hey man, hallelujah now!
00:17:29.000 And he's like, what the fuck's everyone doing?
00:17:31.000 What's the clapping?
00:17:32.000 I thought you were the black church guy, Joe.
00:17:34.000 Right.
00:17:35.000 Anyway, he's in Ireland and because he's tangentially Irish and allegedly Catholic, he was right at home.
00:17:41.000 Dude, the guy could be right at home at a fucking biker rally.
00:17:44.000 He could be right at home at a DRI mosh pit.
00:17:47.000 He could be right at home at Freak Week.
00:17:51.000 I don't think there's a place where Biden couldn't be right at home.
00:17:55.000 When I was a child.
00:17:56.000 It's something, if you know anybody who's stuttered, it's a very debilitating thing.
00:18:00.000 If I told you to talk like that, people will smile.
00:18:05.000 But you do, and I didn't think you were doing something like that.
00:18:08.000 You do, and it's not stuttering.
00:18:09.000 It's the retardation more that bothers us.
00:18:14.000 Like when you say, come on man, you know the thing.
00:18:16.000 We have a line of t-shirts and please, I'd like to take this moment to endorse the Censored.tv store where you can get several shirts of his quotes.
00:18:27.000 Actually, let's take a segue, Ryan, and treat this as another
00:18:29.000 Sponsor.
00:18:30.000 Go to our shop.
00:18:31.000 We should.
00:18:32.000 And dig up.
00:18:32.000 You never do.
00:18:33.000 You know who else has eyes like these that are always crying?
00:18:35.000 She's one of the hottest women in the world.
00:18:37.000 Maria Bartonimanola.
00:18:40.000 Hey guys, welcome back to Censored.TV.
00:18:41.000 We got deals, deals, deals, crazy deals.
00:18:43.000 No one in the right... No, show the Biden shirts.
00:18:46.000 Biden?
00:18:47.000 Yeah, you can buy... Come on, man!
00:18:48.000 You can buy them all, right?
00:18:49.000 You can buy them all.
00:18:51.000 Nah, not buy them all, man.
00:18:52.000 Come on.
00:18:54.000 No, the Biden quote shirts, you absolute human piece of shit.
00:18:59.000 Obviously I'm talking about his quotes.
00:19:02.000 Now what do they say again?
00:19:03.000 Or is it listed there anywhere?
00:19:04.000 There's the options.
00:19:06.000 Oh yeah, here we go.
00:19:07.000 So you just go to one of them and you just pick whatever one.
00:19:11.000 For real?
00:19:12.000 Click on that.
00:19:13.000 I want to see the whole quote, you turd.
00:19:17.000 When Trump does fall through or doesn't do, would follow through the exact opposite.
00:19:23.000 Now is that a stuttering problem?
00:19:26.000 No.
00:19:27.000 Go to the next one.
00:19:30.000 What's this?
00:19:31.000 Oh, that's one of my favorites.
00:19:32.000 I pledge allegiance to the United States of America, one nation, indivisible, under God, for real.
00:19:43.000 That's a big theme with him.
00:19:44.000 It's not a joke.
00:19:46.000 Not a joke.
00:19:47.000 I'm not kidding, man.
00:19:48.000 You think I'm kidding.
00:19:50.000 All men and women are created equal and endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, including life, liberty, etc.
00:19:59.000 You know, the thing!
00:20:02.000 Anyway, there's plenty of those on this site.
00:20:04.000 And I like wearing those shirts, because people see you, and I live in a liberal town, and they go, oh cool, you like Biden.
00:20:11.000 Which, god damn, in 2023, seeing a Biden bumper sticker, I'm not remotely mad.
00:20:17.000 I don't have Biden derangement syndrome.
00:20:19.000 I'm fascinated.
00:20:20.000 I feel like Darwin in the Galapagos.
00:20:23.000 Like I want to, I want to collect the sample.
00:20:26.000 I want to put them in a Petri dish and be like, so you still like the guy, huh?
00:20:32.000 Wow.
00:20:34.000 Like I want to bring them over to the house and invite people over and go, I have a Biden supporter at the house.
00:20:41.000 Ask me anything.
00:20:44.000 Anyway, we're off on a million tangents here.
00:20:46.000 Let's go back to the... What are you still chewing?
00:20:52.000 I don't know if you know this, but you're not allowed to chew things on a television show.
00:20:56.000 And if there's one thing that's worse than hearing someone chew, it's looking at the most hideous teeth in America.
00:21:03.000 I'm just doing my Steve Buscemi impression.
00:21:04.000 Do Puerto Ricans not know what dentists are?
00:21:07.000 Puerto Ricans have fine teeth, I just don't.
00:21:09.000 Japanese people have bad teeth.
00:21:10.000 I know, but you didn't, your Japanese side abandoned you at birth.
00:21:13.000 So didn't like your mother or your grandmother go... They didn't take the genetics with them.
00:21:18.000 I know, but Ryan, we all have shitty teeth.
00:21:21.000 Japanese people and British people have shitty teeth because they don't do dental care.
00:21:25.000 You didn't even know that, did you?
00:21:27.000 My parents listened to me.
00:21:28.000 They were like, you have to get braces.
00:21:29.000 I was like, I don't want them.
00:21:31.000 They're going to hurt.
00:21:31.000 And my teeth weren't bad then.
00:21:33.000 Then my molar started growing into the wisdom teeth or whatever the fuck.
00:21:36.000 And then crowded them all the fuck up.
00:21:37.000 So you grew up with peers.
00:21:40.000 Like you grew up in Lord of the Flies.
00:21:42.000 So when you said, they go, you need braces.
00:21:44.000 You go, I don't like braces.
00:21:45.000 They went, OK.
00:21:47.000 I think I was just very sturdy on it.
00:21:50.000 I was very sturdy on it.
00:21:51.000 Were you also very sturdy on learning a good vocabulary and having the language at your disposal?
00:21:58.000 Sturdy.
00:21:59.000 You're Joe Biden.
00:22:01.000 I gotta be sturdy with this, you guys.
00:22:04.000 Putin, we got Ukraine.
00:22:05.000 They're not sturdy, guys.
00:22:08.000 That was his motto.
00:22:09.000 Get sturdy.
00:22:11.000 Get sturdy.
00:22:12.000 Get in trouble.
00:22:13.000 No malarkey!
00:22:14.000 Get sturdy!
00:22:15.000 Alright, sorry.
00:22:16.000 Let's get back to this.
00:22:16.000 Get braces.
00:22:17.000 JK.
00:22:18.000 Dude, we've never shown this, by the way.
00:22:21.000 Showing what?
00:22:22.000 There's a new shirt on there.
00:22:23.000 We've never fucking seen it.
00:22:23.000 Yeah, I had nothing to do with this.
00:22:25.000 Really?
00:22:26.000 Yeah.
00:22:27.000 Huh.
00:22:27.000 Well, it's cool.
00:22:28.000 I have that statue in my house.
00:22:30.000 I want this.
00:22:31.000 I have a sculpture that has that and the plaque says, please be a fart.
00:22:35.000 I think it's a cool shirt.
00:22:37.000 It's a really cool shirt.
00:22:37.000 But no one consulted me.
00:22:39.000 Well yeah.
00:22:40.000 I don't- and maroon?
00:22:41.000 I love- I was just thinking nobody has a maroon shirt.
00:22:44.000 Get yourself a maroon shirt.
00:22:45.000 Like who- I don't know who made these.
00:22:46.000 Or a navy.
00:22:47.000 How they ended up on our site.
00:22:49.000 I think we've been hacked.
00:22:50.000 That looks awesome.
00:22:51.000 We've been friendly hacked.
00:22:52.000 Not all hacks are bad.
00:22:53.000 Sometimes they add a cool shirt to your store.
00:22:56.000 Get a nice maroon summer shirt.
00:22:58.000 We've got the show notes there, coasters, mugs, stickers.
00:23:01.000 Oh man, look at my hair.
00:23:03.000 I miss it.
00:23:04.000 Now I look like just a regular dweeb.
00:23:07.000 Yeah, that was your coolest hair.
00:23:09.000 I can wear my pit vipers now, though.
00:23:10.000 It's part of the look.
00:23:12.000 Oh, let me put on my care vipers.
00:23:16.000 Get back to the Biden thing.
00:23:17.000 No one cares about your fucking sunglasses.
00:23:21.000 By the way, people are mad at us.
00:23:22.000 Sorry, I'm interrupting again.
00:23:23.000 People are mad at us for mocking Matty while he was puking yesterday.
00:23:28.000 I wasn't mocking Matty.
00:23:29.000 I don't think you understand how guys work.
00:23:31.000 Obviously, if he was puking from chemo, we wouldn't be laughing.
00:23:36.000 But he had two teeth removed.
00:23:39.000 The dentist gave him Percocet.
00:23:41.000 He's not an opioid guy.
00:23:43.000 No hypes, no pipes.
00:23:45.000 So, we knew he was going to be fine.
00:23:48.000 And bring on the laughs.
00:23:50.000 I'm gonna send Ryan some puke videos.
00:23:53.000 So you can see, because I don't think people understand, not just men, but like my generation of men.
00:23:59.000 Your friend puking is the funniest thing in the world.
00:24:02.000 It is.
00:24:04.000 This could be a karmatic sort of allergic reaction you're having.
00:24:15.000 I'm sending it to you now.
00:24:16.000 Wait, what are you doing?
00:24:17.000 What do you mean?
00:24:19.000 I'm waiting for it.
00:24:20.000 No, it's gonna take a day.
00:24:21.000 I gotta get all the shit.
00:24:23.000 So, show that while I'm getting this.
00:24:25.000 I was a kid that was fixed.
00:24:26.000 No one would laugh about it.
00:24:28.000 And so, one of the things that she'd look at me and say, Joe, remember.
00:24:32.000 Remember who you are.
00:24:33.000 Like, you're a Biden.
00:24:34.000 Like, what the hell is a Biden?
00:24:36.000 You know what I mean?
00:24:37.000 Yeah, I don't know what you mean.
00:24:40.000 You know, anyway.
00:24:41.000 What in the hell is he talking about?
00:24:43.000 This guy's perfect.
00:24:45.000 There's nothing, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, there's nothing our nations can't achieve if we do it together.
00:24:51.000 I really mean it.
00:24:52.000 So thank you all.
00:24:53.000 God bless you all.
00:24:54.000 Let's go... Let's go lick the world.
00:24:57.000 Let's get it done.
00:24:57.000 What?
00:24:57.000 Let's go... Let's go lick the world.
00:25:00.000 Let's get it done.
00:25:02.000 Let's go lick the world.
00:25:03.000 Let's get it done.
00:25:05.000 Let's go lick the world?
00:25:16.000 What did you just say?
00:25:17.000 Oh, he's stuttering.
00:25:19.000 Oh, okay.
00:25:20.000 Let me tell you what stuttering is.
00:25:23.000 I'd like to buy a tr-tru-tru-tru-truck.
00:25:28.000 You'll notice it took me a while to say truck because I stutter.
00:25:31.000 What was Lick trying to get to?
00:25:34.000 What was that leading to?
00:25:36.000 And I checked out the White House website because I like seeing their transcriptions as they try to weasel around this.
00:25:42.000 The way they transcribe it is, let's LA dash lick the world.
00:25:47.000 So they're pretending it's a stuttering thing.
00:25:49.000 Okay.
00:25:50.000 What was the word meant to be?
00:25:52.000 Love the world?
00:25:55.000 Best case scenario, he means kick the world's ass.
00:26:00.000 Lick.
00:26:00.000 If you, this is best case scenario, right?
00:26:03.000 If you lick someone in a fight or you got licked, right, in sports, it means you beat them.
00:26:10.000 That's not good, Joe.
00:26:11.000 Let's beat the world?
00:26:13.000 Let's crush the world?
00:26:17.000 He said, there's nothing we can't do.
00:26:19.000 Me and Ireland, us two nations.
00:26:21.000 Okay, so are you suggesting, Joe, that Ireland and America destroy the earth?
00:26:29.000 That's the best case!
00:26:31.000 The worst case is that his pedophilia was coming out and he wants all of us, I guess elites and Biden supporters, to go licking people, kids mostly, smelling.
00:26:43.000 Let's smell and lick all the kids in the entire world.
00:26:46.000 I think, this is just my personal opinion, I think that's what he really meant.
00:26:52.000 You are so ignorant.
00:26:53.000 So best case scenario, let's destroy the world.
00:26:56.000 Worst case scenario, let's rape every kid in the world.
00:26:59.000 Neither are fantastic.
00:27:00.000 In fact, one would be hard-pressed to say what's worse, destroying the entire world, ending it, or raping every single child in the world.
00:27:12.000 That's a tough one.
00:27:12.000 They're both about the same.
00:27:13.000 Are you done with your ignorant take on this?
00:27:17.000 Okay.
00:27:17.000 You're speaking Gaelic.
00:27:19.000 Now, if you see here, in Gaelic, lick translates to... Feed.
00:27:28.000 Lick.
00:27:28.000 Never mind.
00:27:29.000 Oh, okay.
00:27:30.000 Sorry about that, Joe.
00:27:33.000 Let's get to our second sponsor, Jump Medic.
00:27:37.000 Oops.
00:27:39.000 I just threw something asunder.
00:27:41.000 JumpMedic is a fantastic company creating amazing first aid kits.
00:27:44.000 Here's a JumpMedic ProBag.
00:27:48.000 Look at that open up.
00:27:51.000 Which I've shown many times before.
00:27:52.000 It opens easily with a flat lay design.
00:27:53.000 It contains a boatload of supplies.
00:27:55.000 Something like nine pounds of supplies.
00:27:57.000 Bandages, medications, medical instruments.
00:27:59.000 It has everything.
00:28:00.000 It even comes with a secondary go-bag.
00:28:02.000 Now we don't often show the go-bag.
00:28:04.000 They're here.
00:28:04.000 I don't know why I didn't show them before.
00:28:06.000 We've got the go-bags.
00:28:07.000 Ready to rock.
00:28:09.000 They come in red and black.
00:28:13.000 Um... Jump Medic has developed an exciting feature on their website.
00:28:17.000 They've introduced a build-a-bag feature.
00:28:19.000 Not unlike...
00:28:21.000 Build-A-Bear.
00:28:22.000 I'm not talking about the secret group that meets in the summer to control the world.
00:28:26.000 That would be the Builderberg Group.
00:28:28.000 Nor am I talking about Build-A-Bear.
00:28:29.000 Oh, I'm sorry, ad guy.
00:28:30.000 I just stole your joke.
00:28:32.000 Where you can build a customizable lady bear.
00:28:34.000 A teddy bear, sorry.
00:28:36.000 This is closer to that.
00:28:37.000 I'm talking about JumpMedic's Build-A-Bag feature.
00:28:39.000 You can decide which bag you want.
00:28:41.000 The bigger pro model.
00:28:43.000 The smaller Go!
00:28:43.000 model.
00:28:44.000 You don't have to get the big and the small.
00:28:46.000 You can mix and match to your heart's content.
00:28:48.000 Both are available in black or red.
00:28:50.000 After you select your bag, simply go down the extensive list of supplies and enter the amount you want of each supply.
00:28:56.000 Are you the type of fella who is tough to bleed?
00:28:59.000 Well, you can just bypass getting any bandages at all.
00:29:02.000 Are you a broad who just can't help but fall into patches of poison oak after breaking a heel?
00:29:07.000 Well, you can buy a bag and load it up with poison oak lotion.
00:29:10.000 All terrible jokes aside, this is a very cool option to make the perfect customized first aid bag for you and your family.
00:29:18.000 You know I met this ad sales guy after we fired the other dude for allowing Nazis to ridicule us and he introduced me to his girlfriend and she was like 35 or maybe even 40 and had no intention of having kids and he goes what do you think and I go she's really cool but you should dump her because she's old and she doesn't want kids so it's a waste of your life and he goes hmm and then later he called me he's like we ended up breaking up you were right
00:29:47.000 What is with these dudes who fall in love with a 40-year-old when they're 25?
00:29:51.000 Hey, dude.
00:29:53.000 That's so dumb.
00:29:55.000 They have chloroform antihistamine in there.
00:29:58.000 Oh, good.
00:29:58.000 I'm gonna take that.
00:29:59.000 And Benadryl.
00:30:01.000 Yeah, maybe there's something in here for my allergy freakout.
00:30:04.000 Chloroform antihistamine.
00:30:05.000 Sterile water?
00:30:06.000 Not helping.
00:30:08.000 What's this?
00:30:10.000 Hand sanitizer?
00:30:11.000 Yep.
00:30:12.000 I need something for an allergy breakout.
00:30:14.000 Let's see what chloroform antihistamine does.
00:30:20.000 I've told you all about their subscription service that runs year-round to get you resupplied at the low price of $99 a year.
00:30:26.000 That's an extremely convenient way to stay stocked up on emergency supplies without ever having to think about it.
00:30:31.000 The resupplies will show up at your door multiple times a year.
00:30:34.000 The team at Jump Medic is responsive and helpful if you need contact.
00:30:37.000 If you need to contact them before setting up a custom order, the reviews are great and everyone seems to be loving this product.
00:30:42.000 Go to jumpmedic.com and enter promo code RyanSucks
00:30:48.000 10% off.
00:31:04.000 And then when I pull back, I feel it go thup.
00:31:06.000 Ugh.
00:31:07.000 Like you're docking?
00:31:08.000 I'm docking.
00:31:09.000 It's like a bad design.
00:31:10.000 Yeah, what's up, doc?
00:31:12.000 You know when you're parking and you accidentally park too far and you scratch that median thing with the bottom of your bumper?
00:31:18.000 That's what happens to me every time I blink.
00:31:20.000 Dude, you should wear an eye patch.
00:31:23.000 It's both eyes.
00:31:24.000 I should wear two eye patches.
00:31:26.000 That's true.
00:31:27.000 Hey, blind people, if you're watching right now and you want to seem cool, wear two eye patches.
00:31:34.000 It's badass.
00:31:35.000 All right, let's start the show.
00:31:38.000 No need for blank pages.
00:31:44.000 What's this now?
00:31:45.000 What is this?
00:31:46.000 Oh, that's yesterday's notes.
00:31:49.000 Something smells like duty.
00:31:51.000 Wait, what's going on?
00:31:52.000 My notes have been stolen, Ryan.
00:31:54.000 No kidding.
00:31:55.000 Am I stupid?
00:31:56.000 I gave you a hundred.
00:31:58.000 Maybe it's under the Jump Medic bag.
00:32:00.000 The Jump Medic Pro.
00:32:02.000 I figured it out.
00:32:03.000 It's under the Jump Medic bag.
00:32:08.000 This is a fun little piece of news that will go
00:32:11.000 Absolutely nowhere, and would be on the front page of every newspaper from here to Timbuktu if it was Donald Trump Jr.
00:32:18.000 Cringe Jean-Pierre got wasted and crashed into another car.
00:32:26.000 I think it's the only thing she can do well is drunk drive.
00:32:31.000 Following the incident, Jean-Pierre was taken into custody and accused of DUI.
00:32:35.000 How dare they?
00:32:36.000 I'm sure they just pulled that out of the racist hat.
00:32:39.000 At the site of the collision, Jean-Pierre allegedly failed a field investigation test which resulted in her arrest and following charges.
00:32:47.000 What do you think her charges will be for that?
00:32:50.000 For DUI, wherein one is jeopardizing one's life.
00:32:54.000 What do you think she'll end up with, Ryan?
00:32:56.000 Well, let's let's refer to another Biden appointee.
00:33:04.000 Sam Brinton, remember?
00:33:06.000 Release without bail.
00:33:06.000 Ryan, this is the next thing on the notes, you retard.
00:33:10.000 Oh.
00:33:11.000 So why don't you go back to my original question and do as you're told.
00:33:14.000 Five days of community service, JK, nothing.
00:33:19.000 Not even, yeah, five days of community service would blow my mind.
00:33:23.000 Most of us you lose our license for two years, year and a half.
00:33:27.000 I was arrested for it when I was 16.
00:33:28.000 I lost my license for two years.
00:33:34.000 But yeah, she's gonna lose her license for zero days, and she'll receive a zero dollar fine with zero community service.
00:33:41.000 Obviously!
00:33:42.000 That's the way it works.
00:33:44.000 She must be innocent.
00:33:46.000 And then thank you Ryan for spoiling the surprise.
00:33:50.000 I really thought, I'm naive, I really thought something was gonna happen to Sam Brinton.
00:33:56.000 Brinton, even his name is annoying.
00:33:59.000 He's one of the most irritating human people alive.
00:34:03.000 Like his fucking head puts you in a bad mood.
00:34:08.000 And that, he looks worse than that now.
00:34:10.000 He's got a mustache.
00:34:13.000 I'll pay for your hair transplant.
00:34:15.000 I'll pay for your hat.
00:34:17.000 Let's start with that.
00:34:18.000 So imagine you're born with that bizarre alien egghead.
00:34:22.000 You go bald.
00:34:23.000 All right, that sucks.
00:34:24.000 Whatever.
00:34:25.000 Put a hat on.
00:34:27.000 And then you decide to wear stolen African garb.
00:34:32.000 And then you throw a mustache in the mix with some lipstick and Cumbrella eyelashes.
00:34:38.000 He's a master of irritation.
00:34:42.000 So we all know the story with Sam, right?
00:34:44.000 He's stolen more than one suitcase.
00:34:47.000 And the women's clothes that he gets fit him and are right up his alley.
00:34:53.000 Don't you think that's weird?
00:34:56.000 If I stole 100 suitcases from JFK today, I'd have a lot of kids' clothes, I'd have a lot of basketball shorts, I'd have a lot of New York Jets sweatshirts.
00:35:08.000 I wouldn't have an African fashion designer's Ghanaian fucking robes.
00:35:14.000 Unless, of course, I was stalking that woman and that's what I like to wear.
00:35:19.000 So I think this whole story is way bigger than I stole a suitcase.
00:35:24.000 Because he tried to make it, not only did I not steal a suitcase, I just accidentally grabbed one.
00:35:29.000 You didn't have checked luggage, Sam.
00:35:32.000 I'm slurring my words now from those shots.
00:35:34.000 He didn't check any luggage, so the accidental thing is bullshit.
00:35:38.000 He did a Silence of the Lambs, spooky, scary, I want to subsume you, I want to wear your skin, I want to be you.
00:35:47.000 I think Sam's a heterosexual.
00:35:50.000 How about that?
00:35:51.000 A lot of these tranny drag queens are not gay and not the famous ones but like when you see a guy who's super ugly on TikTok, yeah he's getting a $3,000 fine and he's wearing panties and stuff and he says he's a lesbian that's obviously the biggest giveaway but
00:36:10.000 They love women so much.
00:36:12.000 Let me rephrase that.
00:36:14.000 Their fetish for women is so intense that they want to put on their panties.
00:36:19.000 They want to wear their tits to feel what tits are like.
00:36:22.000 Like take the concept of sniffing used panties and multiply that by a million.
00:36:27.000 And that's where you end up with these guys.
00:36:29.000 Sam might be actually gay.
00:36:31.000 I'm kind of changing my mind on that already.
00:36:34.000 A large contingent of these cross-dressers are straight perverts that want to feel women's panties on their dicks.
00:36:43.000 Sorry to make you barf.
00:36:46.000 But Sam clearly doesn't want to be accepted as a woman.
00:36:49.000 He has a fucking mustache.
00:36:52.000 Ugh.
00:36:53.000 So, here's why I bring this up.
00:36:55.000 What does KGP and SB have in common?
00:36:59.000 They're both affirmative action hires.
00:37:01.000 In both cases they were hired, one for her race and her sexuality and her immigration status, right?
00:37:09.000 She's an immigrant from Haiti.
00:37:11.000 She's gay and she's black and she's female.
00:37:13.000 She checks off four boxes.
00:37:15.000 Sam checks off queer, right?
00:37:18.000 Which is one.
00:37:18.000 I guess just one.
00:37:22.000 No, he's more than gay.
00:37:23.000 Queer and non-binary, I guess.
00:37:25.000 Well, that's one.
00:37:25.000 That's one non-binary.
00:37:27.000 Anyway, they check off boxes.
00:37:29.000 And what scares me about this culture of checking off boxes is we're getting incompetent losers.
00:37:35.000 And it reminds me of this article that was going around from a very controversial website.
00:37:41.000 Just because it's controversial doesn't mean it's not true.
00:37:44.000 VDARE.
00:37:47.000 And it was this article, my prediction as an immigrant from Venezuela.
00:37:52.000 As the country becomes less white and incompetent, non-whites gobble up key jobs.
00:37:59.000 The U.S.
00:38:00.000 will become an indiocracy and regularly experience nationwide infrastructure collapses and other failures.
00:38:08.000 And he talks about Norfolk and the crash over there and how just before this unbelievable explosion of bullshit, Norfolk Southern Transportation had initiated a diversity initiative where they were going to focus on black and brown people, gays, women.
00:38:30.000 In other words, they were abandoning meritocracy.
00:38:33.000 And right after they did that, coincidentally, the shit hit the fan.
00:38:39.000 Are we not noticing that's a thing?
00:38:42.000 Like I'm talking about the past six months.
00:38:44.000 A car, a van crashing into a plane on the runway.
00:38:48.000 There was that plane that dipped down almost into the sea and then landed.
00:38:52.000 Fine.
00:38:52.000 And there was no discussion with air traffic control.
00:38:54.000 We had a letter from a guy who works in air traffic control saying all the new guys are totally incompetent.
00:39:00.000 We've had how many explosions?
00:39:01.000 Didn't we have an explosion yesterday that killed 18,000 cows?
00:39:06.000 They somehow reconciled me with their stupidity.
00:39:09.000 So what are you saying Gavin?
00:39:11.000 Are you saying blacks are ruining America?
00:39:13.000 We need to make everything white again?
00:39:15.000 No.
00:39:16.000 I am saying we need to get back to meritocracy.
00:39:22.000 If Asian albinos were the best airplane pilots, I want them driving the planes.
00:39:29.000 I don't give a shit how diverse my pilots are.
00:39:33.000 If midgets made the greatest air traffic controllers, we would look at air traffic controllers and go, why are they all midgets?
00:39:39.000 This needs to change.
00:39:40.000 No, it doesn't need to change.
00:39:42.000 I need the planes to land smoothly.
00:39:45.000 Meritocracy.
00:39:46.000 This is the origin of libertarianism and free market capitalism.
00:39:51.000 May the best man win.
00:39:53.000 What about woman?
00:39:56.000 They're driving drunk and they're crashing.
00:40:00.000 Anyway,
00:40:02.000 Here's another bizarre twist in the world of political correctness.
00:40:07.000 And I'm not sure it's all about political correctness, but it is about abandoning meritocracy.
00:40:14.000 There's a new show on Netflix called Beef that is really good.
00:40:19.000 It's really well written.
00:40:23.000 But the suspension of disbelief is pretty rough.
00:40:27.000 And the main guy is Ryan Rivera.
00:40:31.000 I'm just kidding.
00:40:32.000 Oh wait, stop.
00:40:34.000 I started watching this and she's wearing a wool hat with the brim flipped up.
00:40:38.000 And I was like, that's the most annoying hat I've ever seen in my fucking life.
00:40:41.000 Especially in LA where it's never cold.
00:40:43.000 And I talked to my wife and I go, have you seen the show Beef?
00:40:45.000 It's pretty good.
00:40:46.000 And she goes, I gotta be honest, I saw Ali Wong wearing this fucking hat.
00:40:51.000 And I clicked off.
00:40:53.000 Who's the stylist for beef?
00:40:55.000 She is costing people money.
00:40:58.000 I know it's a she, of course.
00:40:59.000 Thoreau is a she.
00:41:00.000 In the good old days, it was male gays.
00:41:03.000 G-A-Y-S, not G-A-Z-E.
00:41:04.000 Like, Jaws was a male homosexual who did a fantastic job.
00:41:09.000 What are you giggling about?
00:41:13.000 No, look at the outfits in Jaws.
00:41:16.000 What's his name?
00:41:16.000 Rod Shearer with his blue sweatshirt and his short shorts on the beach when that kid dies?
00:41:22.000 The fucking blazer with the anchors on it that Anthony had made?
00:41:27.000 The outfits... We're gonna get to summer looks today.
00:41:29.000 That's what I was just talking about on the left there.
00:41:32.000 Oh, Richard Dreyfuss looks amazing in his Canadian tuxedo with his denim on denim.
00:41:37.000 Everyone looks fantastic in that movie, and it's a dead gay.
00:41:41.000 It's a dead giveaway that it's a dead gay who's responsible.
00:41:46.000 By the way, we'll get to summer looks in a second, but...
00:41:50.000 If you want a good summer look, you want to focus on Cassavetes.
00:41:55.000 Is it David Cassavetes?
00:41:56.000 Look at that.
00:41:57.000 Is that the guy?
00:41:58.000 No.
00:41:58.000 I don't know.
00:42:03.000 You want to focus on David Cassavetes in Rosemary's Baby.
00:42:07.000 You want to focus on the Cutters, the working class kids in the movie Breaking Away.
00:42:12.000 I should have prepared this.
00:42:18.000 And you want to focus on all the preppy outcasts in Animal House.
00:42:23.000 So Breaking Away, Animal House, and Rosemary's Baby.
00:42:28.000 Pull up any of those and you'll see what a man should look like.
00:42:33.000 That's because I realized when it got hot now I got to choose a look.
00:42:37.000 And I got nervous.
00:42:39.000 And then, oh wait, go to that middle, yeah.
00:42:41.000 Go to that picture where he's on the, yeah, that.
00:42:43.000 That's a good look.
00:42:44.000 You know what's a very adventurous look?
00:42:47.000 Summer look?
00:42:48.000 A brown t-shirt.
00:42:50.000 Yeah, that's what I was saying about maroon.
00:42:52.000 Ah, maroon.
00:42:54.000 Maroon, baby.
00:42:55.000 Brown is like, you know what brown is like?
00:42:57.000 The orphans in the movie The Warriors.
00:43:01.000 Brown is like strangely forgotten.
00:43:03.000 It is.
00:43:04.000 Brown is unloved.
00:43:05.000 And I think a loving family is very important, but fashion-wise, some of the best looks are abandoned kids, latchkey kids, and deadbeat dads.
00:43:14.000 My summer look is very contingent on Hawaiian shirts, which is what alcoholics who abandon their families wear.
00:43:23.000 So don't abandon your family, but get the look.
00:43:29.000 Wait, I think maybe.
00:43:31.000 Is that the best picture you got?
00:43:32.000 These are the broads all dressed up.
00:43:35.000 Who was the Cassavetes in Rosemary's Baby?
00:43:40.000 Was it John Cassavetes?
00:43:41.000 It was John Cassavetes.
00:43:44.000 I think John Cassavetes was the son of a director, so I always get them confused.
00:43:48.000 Look at that.
00:43:49.000 Look at those ensembles.
00:43:51.000 I don't even know what that is.
00:43:53.000 Was that an angora cardigan?
00:43:55.000 It's fuzzy.
00:43:57.000 And he's got that baby blue suit that I had Nina Fashions make me?
00:44:02.000 Ladies, if you're curious what you should be wearing, you may want to check out Teri Garr in the movie, Oh God, with her cute little overalls.
00:44:15.000 Anyway, we're going to get to summer looks shortly, but I should do a whole green screen on this, but is that her in Oh God?
00:44:27.000 That was my generation's first major boner was Terry Garan, oh god.
00:44:32.000 She's so quirky.
00:44:33.000 Little red turtlenecks and overalls and short shorts.
00:44:41.000 You click on the weirdest pictures.
00:44:43.000 Like you just clicked on fuckin' Bob Denver when there was Terry Garan right next to them.
00:44:48.000 No, no, I clicked on the, uh, it, look, it said, did you mean Terry Garan with an I?
00:44:53.000 And I said yes, and I clicked on it.
00:44:56.000 Look at that little... the tartan shirt with the red long sleeve underneath.
00:45:03.000 She's a ten.
00:45:04.000 Anyway.
00:45:05.000 Get back to beef.
00:45:07.000 So go back to that trailer and look at that fucking hat.
00:45:12.000 Reminds me of the time I interviewed, um...
00:45:16.000 Blues legend, was it Bo Diddley?
00:45:19.000 No.
00:45:20.000 Who's the other guy?
00:45:21.000 He said, I go, would you ever want to go back to picking cotton?
00:45:25.000 And he goes, fuck no!
00:45:27.000 He goes, now they got the John Deere tractors that got air conditioning in it.
00:45:30.000 Back when I was doing a tractor in the fields, all I had was a fucking hat!
00:45:35.000 But he died.
00:45:38.000 Okay, tell me what bothers you.
00:45:40.000 Ryan, you're Asian-ish.
00:45:42.000 Tell me what sort of just kind of bothers you about this.
00:45:47.000 That guy, Steven Yeun, right there is down on his luck.
00:45:50.000 He's a contractor who can't get any gigs and his parents lost their motel.
00:45:56.000 He's Korean.
00:45:58.000 I think the movie's written by Koreans.
00:46:03.000 So it's good.
00:46:05.000 Styling is bad.
00:46:06.000 Oh, he said, where you at?
00:46:09.000 That I don't like.
00:46:12.000 Where you at, bitch?
00:46:13.000 He said, got you.
00:46:14.000 Okay, no, that's relevant that he said, where you at?
00:46:17.000 Cause I'm looking at this guy in his working class undershirt and his blue t-shirt and I'm like, yeah, you are not a contractor down on his luck.
00:46:29.000 It's called physiognomy.
00:46:32.000 And I know it sounds like, uh, what's that stuff where you, you, the parts of your brain, uh, define who you are.
00:46:42.000 Oh, fuck.
00:46:44.000 It's been debunked, but back in the old days, they used to think your brain was divided.
00:46:46.000 Oh, phrenology.
00:46:47.000 Phrenology.
00:46:48.000 I mean, there is a lot of truth to phrenology.
00:46:50.000 We have parts of our brain that handle different things, but phrenology took it way too far.
00:46:56.000 I used to laugh at physiognomy and the whole concept of gay face.
00:47:00.000 I believe it now, because I looked at this actor and I'm like, no, dude, you're not down on your luck.
00:47:06.000 You're kicking ass and taking names.
00:47:09.000 You can grow out your little Asian stubble.
00:47:12.000 So I look up the actor.
00:47:13.000 He's a neuroscientist whose dad was the leading architect in Korea when they moved to Canada and then California.
00:47:21.000 Which you can see in his head!
00:47:25.000 Wait, is this the show?
00:47:27.000 Or a trailer?
00:47:30.000 It's a trailer.
00:47:32.000 It's playing out the entire first episode.
00:47:34.000 This is quite a sizzle reel, guys.
00:47:37.000 There's four videos.
00:47:38.000 So let's see, there's probably an actual... What was the first one you showed?
00:47:42.000 This is... Is that the first one you showed?
00:47:46.000 Yeah.
00:47:47.000 Okay, there's more.
00:47:48.000 Then there's an interview, then there's a trailer.
00:47:50.000 I want to see the first one you showed because I want you to see this hat.
00:47:54.000 There!
00:47:54.000 There!
00:47:54.000 Stop!
00:47:56.000 Go back!
00:47:58.000 Is that enough to put you in a bad mood for three days?
00:48:01.000 That's a nice baby hat for a baby.
00:48:03.000 Yeah, even as a baby it's kind of annoying, but yeah.
00:48:08.000 Yeah, it's a baby hat.
00:48:11.000 She's wearing a baby wool hat and that baby better be fucking cute if you're flipping up the front like that.
00:48:17.000 That's your baby's hat.
00:48:20.000 Remember when she was kicking out of the room and throwing the cup down?
00:48:23.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:48:24.000 That's her hat.
00:48:25.000 It literally is.
00:48:27.000 What is, in LA, someone's, I don't know, if someone, if someone had a swastika tattooed on their forehead and or had that hat on, I wouldn't be able to hold a normal conversation.
00:48:37.000 I would be totally distracted.
00:48:41.000 Anyway, it made me think about all these shows where, I don't know, this is maybe not political correctness, but it's like hot correctness.
00:48:50.000 That might be the name of the show today.
00:48:55.000 Like, get a scumbag.
00:48:58.000 Actually, my old pal David Cho, who I made rich, is on that show.
00:49:02.000 Guess what he plays?
00:49:04.000 A super wealthy Korean dirtbag.
00:49:08.000 Guess how good he is?
00:49:10.000 A million.
00:49:12.000 Because his face looks like that.
00:49:14.000 David grew up doing graffiti, stealing, fucking throwing shit at walls, running through abandoned lots.
00:49:22.000 Like, he was a bad kid in LA in the 80s and 90s.
00:49:27.000 Before I made him rich.
00:49:29.000 And when he comes out, he's like, look at you, you sexy beast.
00:49:32.000 Holy fuck, this guy is so fucking hot.
00:49:36.000 He talks like Maggie Longclaw's pregnant.
00:49:38.000 Yo, if you want to be successful, just quit your fucking job.
00:49:43.000 Like, it's not fucking hard, dude.
00:49:46.000 He's amazing in it.
00:49:47.000 But that's because he's doing himself.
00:49:49.000 You can't get a neuroscientist son of an architect to play a loser.
00:49:55.000 You son of an architect.
00:49:57.000 I'm so sick of cuties.
00:50:00.000 They ruin my shows.
00:50:01.000 Like The Night Agent.
00:50:03.000 I started watching that.
00:50:05.000 The guy looks like Chuck E. Cheese.
00:50:08.000 Look how cute he is.
00:50:10.000 Ew.
00:50:10.000 You know what I mean.
00:50:10.000 A kid of Chuck E. Cheese.
00:50:12.000 He's a child actor who's all grown up now.
00:50:15.000 And he's like a super awesome FBI agent who beats the shit out of everyone and saves the day.
00:50:19.000 Are they gonna show the whole movie in the trailer again?
00:50:21.000 Or the whole show?
00:50:25.000 Are you scared of that FBI agent?
00:50:29.000 He's a rookie, but he's the greatest rookie ever made.
00:50:33.000 And he keeps saving the day and kicking ass and beating the living shit out of everyone.
00:50:37.000 And you're like, dude, you're basically a chick.
00:50:40.000 You ruined the show for me, cutie pants.
00:50:43.000 Everyone says all this forcing actors to be black and changing the characters to black.
00:50:48.000 I can handle that.
00:50:50.000 What was that Marvel thing on Netflix where you couldn't kill him with bullets?
00:50:54.000 He was a black superhero?
00:50:57.000 At least the guy's physiognomy looked like he was a roughneck.
00:51:02.000 I can handle that.
00:51:03.000 I'm cool with switching up races once in a while, but cuties?
00:51:07.000 No.
00:51:08.000 That was the hard thing to watch in Nope, where, like, this black guy's a rancher.
00:51:13.000 I'm sure they exist, but... They exist, but they don't look like that guy!
00:51:16.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:51:18.000 They're grizzled.
00:51:19.000 What's the matter with being grizzled?
00:51:21.000 Is it chicks?
00:51:22.000 Are women ruin everything?
00:51:24.000 Ruining everything?
00:51:24.000 Is it because women want to look at a cutie?
00:51:27.000 Is that why Justin Trudeau is the Prime Minister?
00:51:30.000 Because women want to look at a cutie when they watch the news?
00:51:33.000 You're ruining everything!
00:51:34.000 And I don't think ladies like cuties!
00:51:39.000 Their pussies get wetter for Tony Soprano than this baby face.
00:51:42.000 Wait, maybe they are testing, doing screen tests or audience tests with chicks who are on birth control.
00:51:51.000 Oh, yeah.
00:51:52.000 Yeah.
00:51:53.000 We all know that when women are on birth control, their bodies think they're in the third trimester of pregnancy, and those women, genetically, they want to be around a strong man that doesn't want to fuck them, aka their brother.
00:52:03.000 So they're looking for, like, sexless sweethearts who are tough.
00:52:07.000 Holy shit, dude.
00:52:09.000 What?
00:52:10.000 The dumbest guy on this show just had one of the most brilliant epiphanies.
00:52:14.000 This could be third trimester pregnancy focus groups.
00:52:19.000 Dude, they're fucking testing out these fucking women who were looking for fucking, like, pussies, dude.
00:52:25.000 David Cho is here.
00:52:26.000 Yeah.
00:52:27.000 Hey, man.
00:52:27.000 What's up?
00:52:28.000 Dude, you're so good in beef, it made me sad that we don't hang out anymore.
00:52:31.000 Thanks, man.
00:52:32.000 No offense, but the last two or three times we had dinner, all you talked about was how rich you were, and it was like...
00:52:39.000 It's kind of annoying.
00:52:40.000 I know.
00:52:40.000 Well, recently, I don't know if you saw this, I was on Joe Rogan's show and I was like fucking crying, dude.
00:52:46.000 But I don't know if I actually did cry, I didn't rewatch it.
00:52:48.000 But anyway, fucking, to humble myself from being so rich and shit is, I just started eating out women with periods.
00:52:56.000 I just like never stop.
00:52:57.000 That's great.
00:52:58.000 I have one at three, so if you don't mind.
00:53:00.000 All right, yeah, let's hurry up.
00:53:01.000 I'm gonna head out.
00:53:03.000 It's 7 p.m., so we better get, we better get, try to get you under six hours late.
00:53:09.000 And the same is true of Elvis.
00:53:11.000 It was made by a gay, so it's over the top, like, hey you guys, it's fucking Elvis!
00:53:16.000 I can handle that.
00:53:18.000 I was on a flight to LA, so I can handle a lot of abuse.
00:53:22.000 I'm bored out of my fucking mind, and the girl next to me was not interested in chatting.
00:53:26.000 Which is a case of ugly-ism.
00:53:28.000 But I'm watching this movie going, this is Miley Cyrus.
00:53:32.000 Yeah.
00:53:33.000 This is a very cute young lady,
00:53:37.000 Doing like whatever, what do they call it?
00:53:39.000 Drag when women dress up as men?
00:53:41.000 Drag King?
00:53:43.000 Male drag?
00:53:44.000 I don't know what to call it, but that's Miley Cyrus!
00:53:47.000 Look at that!
00:53:48.000 And they try to age him and it's like, dude, you didn't age him.
00:53:51.000 Only at the very last scene.
00:53:52.000 You wanna talk about aging?
00:53:53.000 Check out All Quiet on the Western Front.
00:53:55.000 That guy aged 30 years in one movie.
00:53:57.000 And he has fucking heaps of mascara on in every shot!
00:54:02.000 Yeah.
00:54:03.000 Tom Hanks is a bummer in that movie.
00:54:05.000 So it's good.
00:54:06.000 I mean, it's hard to make Elvis's life boring, but like why is Miley in it?
00:54:11.000 They changed him to a fucking little boy.
00:54:13.000 Yeah.
00:54:14.000 Elvis is a masculine man.
00:54:16.000 I think he's got Native American blood.
00:54:19.000 He does kind of have that sort of like... Yeah, there's this Appalachian dudes that mixed with the slaves and they have this like black hair.
00:54:29.000 They're like mulatto Indians.
00:54:31.000 That guy...
00:54:32.000 On the, well whatever, my left.
00:54:36.000 The Elvis guy!
00:54:37.000 Elvis there looks like a man.
00:54:40.000 He looks like he could have been in an Apache that was ransacking your village.
00:54:45.000 Looks like John Wayne's little brother.
00:54:47.000 The other guy is a beautiful lady with high cheekbones, nice thin hot lips.
00:54:54.000 I don't see where you're getting at here.
00:54:57.000 How is that not Miley Cyrus?
00:55:00.000 Well, Miley Cyrus looks like Justin Bieber, which looks like Elvis.
00:55:04.000 Like, it harkens back to all of those.
00:55:06.000 They all look the fucking same.
00:55:07.000 It's weird, but... And when lesbians take testosterone to become dudes, they look like them, too.
00:55:12.000 Another movie, another show I was dying to enjoy, and I did keep my foot in the... in the hot pants.
00:55:19.000 What?
00:55:20.000 Yeah, that's a saying.
00:55:21.000 How long did you keep your feet in the hot pants?
00:55:24.000 I've never heard of it, but... That's a saying.
00:55:26.000 I believe you.
00:55:27.000 Yeah.
00:55:28.000 Like if you saw a show for one episode, well you didn't keep your feet in the hot pants for very long.
00:55:32.000 Right.
00:55:34.000 But yeah, I dipped my toe into Peaky Blinders.
00:55:37.000 What, it's between the wars in East London?
00:55:39.000 Perfect.
00:55:41.000 Fish kiss.
00:55:43.000 Fish kiss?
00:55:45.000 No, it's called a chef's kiss.
00:55:46.000 No, it's a fish kiss because you go...
00:55:50.000 I was with you with the hot pants one.
00:55:51.000 This one seems... You don't know sayings, dude.
00:55:54.000 Yeah, maybe you're right.
00:55:55.000 I am... Love the concept!
00:55:57.000 And then we have mile-high cheekbones as the main guy.
00:56:02.000 He was so distracting in Batman too.
00:56:06.000 I'm a psycho!
00:56:07.000 It's actually one kilometer cheekbones.
00:56:08.000 This happens in the UK.
00:56:10.000 And when you see these psychos like him when he's the two-face or whatever the he was in
00:56:19.000 Batman?
00:56:20.000 You're just like, why are you a psycho?
00:56:21.000 Why don't you just become a waiter and make 600 bucks a night?
00:56:24.000 You're a male model.
00:56:26.000 Same with Steven Yeun in Beef.
00:56:28.000 You're like, I need money.
00:56:29.000 I'm a contractor.
00:56:30.000 Go be a waiter in West Hollywood, dude.
00:56:32.000 You'll make 500 bucks a night.
00:56:36.000 Psycho!
00:56:38.000 I want to see the guy.
00:56:39.000 You have a pretty powerful enemy.
00:56:42.000 Damn.
00:56:44.000 Does he strike you as a murderer?
00:56:49.000 Male model.
00:56:50.000 Himbos don't murder.
00:56:54.000 You know who killed it and actually was good?
00:56:57.000 And it borders on, is this guy too good looking for me to believe it?
00:57:02.000 But, Jimmy Dormody.
00:57:05.000 Very similar.
00:57:06.000 It's a period piece.
00:57:07.000 But he looks like he's from the whatever the fuck.
00:57:10.000 That baby?
00:57:11.000 That infant?
00:57:12.000 You're so wrong.
00:57:14.000 That guy?
00:57:15.000 Yeah, but he gets a little older.
00:57:17.000 Ryan, you are proving my point.
00:57:19.000 That's the worst example.
00:57:22.000 Uh, of the opposite I could think of.
00:57:24.000 This is what I'm saying.
00:57:25.000 That guy looks like the Nightwatch guy.
00:57:28.000 Night Agent guy.
00:57:28.000 He looks like another little cutie little child actor.
00:57:31.000 When he's in the soldier garb though, you're like, I believe it.
00:57:33.000 No.
00:57:34.000 He's got an old looking face.
00:57:35.000 The only argument you have there is when you see him as a soldier you go, my god, they sent boys to die in those wars.
00:57:43.000 You don't go, fuck, he's a badass.
00:57:45.000 Okay, most egregious example, of course, is Prison Break.
00:57:49.000 Such a cool plot.
00:57:50.000 A guy gets arrested, sent to jail, sent to prison, and his brother goes, I'm gonna fucking get arrested too, and then I'm gonna get you out.
00:57:59.000 And you're like, fish kiss.
00:58:02.000 Perfect.
00:58:04.000 Can't wait.
00:58:05.000 And then they show the hunk, who I looked up, he's a gay, he's literally a gay male model.
00:58:12.000 And you're like, those guys are not in prison.
00:58:14.000 They don't look like that in prison.
00:58:16.000 They look like Matty Odell puking in a wastebasket.
00:58:21.000 That's the brother he's saving.
00:58:23.000 That guy looks legit.
00:58:25.000 A little bit.
00:58:27.000 Definitely in the tough guy genre, but he's still a gorgeous hunk within the tough guys.
00:58:33.000 So, I just couldn't lose myself in this fucking show.
00:58:37.000 And I wanted to, because as a dude, that's every man's favorite plot.
00:58:42.000 My brother's in jail, I gotta get him out.
00:58:45.000 Prison breaks, if they're plausible, of course.
00:58:48.000 That's our favorite shit.
00:58:49.000 Wait, this show's been... Is it still on?
00:58:53.000 Now he's in Islamabad?
00:58:56.000 Is this show still on?
00:58:56.000 Because I'm talking about when I watched it, which was literally ten years ago.
00:59:00.000 They transferred me to Kandahar prison.
00:59:03.000 Why?
00:59:04.000 Okay, I'll get caught in Malaysia with hash.
00:59:07.000 And I'll get you out of there.
00:59:09.000 But I gotta say, this is getting kind of annoying.
00:59:12.000 So, next prison is the last.
00:59:16.000 Okay.
00:59:18.000 I converted to Islam.
00:59:20.000 We're gonna blow up wherever the World Trade Center is now.
00:59:23.000 What's it called?
00:59:23.000 The Freedom Tower?
00:59:24.000 That's going down.
00:59:26.000 And then you gotta break me out again.
00:59:28.000 Alright.
00:59:29.000 Three more prisons and we're done.
00:59:30.000 Anyway.
00:59:32.000 You know who are plausible tough guys?
00:59:35.000 Chuck Norris.
00:59:35.000 You know why?
00:59:36.000 Cause he was an enforcer for the mob.
00:59:39.000 Charles Bronson.
00:59:40.000 I believe Charles Bronson.
00:59:42.000 His weird Slavic face.
00:59:45.000 He used to break his legs by jumping onto trains all the time?
00:59:48.000 Chuck Zito.
00:59:50.000 Chuck Zito was annoyed that he had to be in movies because he was busy kicking the living shit out of dudes with the Hells Angels.
00:59:59.000 Chuck Zito I believe.
01:00:01.000 None of these people I believe.
01:00:03.000 I don't believe you.
01:00:06.000 Anyway.
01:00:06.000 You're unbelievable.
01:00:08.000 I'm trying to get tougher.
01:00:10.000 And I've been going to the gym every day, boxing.
01:00:13.000 I've actually avoided sparring for a few weeks, but it's the thing about sparring is you don't feel like going to the gym, especially on a Friday.
01:00:21.000 You did a live show Thursday night and then you go, wait a minute, Friday's a sparring day.
01:00:27.000 So not only am I going to go to the gym, but I'm going to get punched.
01:00:31.000 Now I really don't want to go.
01:00:33.000 Unless of course you get pre-workout from Purple Works.
01:00:39.000 This is what I take every day.
01:00:41.000 It makes you feel prickly.
01:00:43.000 The... What is it?
01:00:44.000 The shit that makes you... Oh, it's probably just a lot of caffeine.
01:00:50.000 There is caffeine in it.
01:00:52.000 I take about half a scoop.
01:00:55.000 Oh, by the way, I meant to mention with Jump Medic, they're shipping to Canada now.
01:00:59.000 But the Purple Works Pink Lemonade Pre-Workout enhances your strength, energy, and focus to get you ready for even the most strenuous workouts.
01:01:06.000 It's not just for working out at the gym, lifting weights and cardio.
01:01:08.000 It's also great for playing sports, basketball, football, soccer, mountain biking, hiking, and other strenuous activities.
01:01:15.000 Purple Works is formulated...
01:01:17.000 For tissue repair.
01:01:19.000 So it's also great for boxing and recovering after getting in the ring.
01:01:22.000 Not to sound gay, but I've noticed since I've been taking this and doing a lot of weight training, I'll be at a bar or something and I'll feel my arm and it's like I'm holding a hunk's arm.
01:01:33.000 This is turning into a pretty gay episode actually.
01:01:35.000 A lot of hunk talk.
01:01:36.000 And fish kisses.
01:01:37.000 But it's nice to feel solid for once.
01:01:40.000 Sure, sure.
01:01:40.000 Going through that Enos Chinook pictures that we put together, and then I'm going to release my next band, Leather-Ass Buttfuck, I'm looking at my arms when I was 20.
01:01:50.000 They're fucking sub-Grover.
01:01:53.000 Pieces of spaghetti.
01:01:55.000 I look like Jewish propaganda.
01:02:01.000 And now, I'm obviously not anything substantial, but massive difference.
01:02:06.000 And you just feel better.
01:02:07.000 And I gotta say, the kids were all at school, we had no one coming by, so I thought, I don't need to get dressed, so I went to the kitchen, and I was making coffee and stuff, and looking at the paper, nude, and guess what happened?
01:02:22.000 My wife suggested we fornicate.
01:02:24.000 Damn.
01:02:27.000 With penises and vaginas and all that?
01:02:29.000 You like getting laid?
01:02:30.000 Well then you love Purple Works.
01:02:32.000 Yep, because your dick will be purple after all of the sex.
01:02:38.000 The products are made in the good ol' USA, and unlike other pre-workout companies that sometimes operate in the wild, wild west, Purpleworks Nutrition's Pink Lamin-A pre-workout is manufactured in an FDA-registered facility.
01:02:51.000 That's right.
01:03:11.000 Carnesin beta alanine, which is what the sparkles are from, and more.
01:03:16.000 Simply add 8 to 10 ounces of water in your shaker, which they also sell for a great low price.
01:03:21.000 I use that.
01:03:22.000 And you are ready to hit the gym and get your day started.
01:03:24.000 My problem with the shaker is I want to take it half an hour before I work out, so I don't want to be milking it.
01:03:29.000 I like to just do it in one slam.
01:03:32.000 Shouldn't be un-advertising things while I'm reading about our sponsor's products.
01:03:36.000 To the viewer who said that niacin causes the tingles in Purpleworks, there is no niacin in Purpleworks.
01:03:43.000 It does not cause the tingles.
01:03:45.000 You're lying!
01:03:47.000 It is the carnosine beta alanine that causes the sensation.
01:03:51.000 No way!
01:03:52.000 Check them out at purpleworksnutrition.com.
01:03:55.000 Enter promo code GAVIN for 15% off.
01:03:57.000 The promo code will work now and will continue to work in the future if this ends up being the pre-workout you rely on.
01:04:04.000 Purpleworks is also now shipping to Canada.
01:04:08.000 Look at this before and after.
01:04:09.000 This is before Purpleworks.
01:04:11.000 That's unedited.
01:04:12.000 A twinkish nebbish freak.
01:04:15.000 Your arms are not bad, though, in the first one.
01:04:17.000 You can see the potential for growth.
01:04:18.000 There's definition, but there's not the gigantism that Purpleworks alone, without even exercising, gave me.
01:04:27.000 It's not true, but you get the idea.
01:04:29.000 Legally, I can say that.
01:04:31.000 All right, um, I think we're all caught up with sponsors.
01:04:34.000 We have Nita Fashions, of course, if you want to check in with them.
01:04:38.000 We do.
01:04:40.000 Uh, let's, uh, uh, could you pull up their schedule?
01:04:43.000 Schedule, of course.
01:04:45.000 Nita Fashions makes this suit, all suits.
01:04:47.000 I gotta say, I got this suit, like, five years ago.
01:04:50.000 I'm too ripped for it now.
01:04:53.000 Like, if I, if I was to go like this and really smash my fists together, the entire back would rip out.
01:04:58.000 That's kind of a cool thing, you saved that.
01:05:01.000 If you're about to get into a tussle, just go... Yeah.
01:05:05.000 Take away the Purple Works Nutrition.
01:05:07.000 But when they come to your town... Go.
01:05:13.000 So let's see, we are April 17th, or am I dumb?
01:05:17.000 It's the 14th.
01:05:19.000 The date today is... Yeah, the next date will be in Dallas, April 17th.
01:05:26.000 So they're in Texas.
01:05:28.000 April 17th, 18th, 19th.
01:05:29.000 What's the date today?
01:05:30.000 I believe it's the 14th.
01:05:35.000 Okay, so it's the 14th, which means, yeah, you're not going to get them in Houston.
01:05:40.000 That ship has sailed.
01:05:42.000 I think the owner, Peter Daswani, went to a wedding.
01:05:46.000 So you got Dallas, April 17th, 18th, 19th.
01:05:49.000 Chicago, 20th to the 23rd.
01:05:49.000 Denver, 24th, 25th.
01:05:50.000 Los Angeles, 27th to 29th.
01:05:59.000 San Francisco, April 30th to May 1st and then the party's over.
01:06:02.000 So contact them at their site, Need of Fashions.
01:06:04.000 You can go to their Instagram page and you can set up an appointment.
01:06:10.000 I'm gonna see if we could do a, yet again, we're on Zoom with the Daswanis, have my wife size me up and show you how easy of a process, maybe we should both do it, how easy of a process it is to get sized up and then you don't even have to go in person.
01:06:27.000 It's better if you do, though.
01:06:30.000 Holy fuck.
01:06:31.000 What is going on?
01:06:33.000 I feel like it's finally, like, rounded a corner.
01:06:36.000 And the body's getting... I'm not really blown away with the body, by the way.
01:06:41.000 Dude.
01:06:42.000 You know what a Mexican would say when he looked at that eye?
01:06:45.000 What?
01:06:45.000 He'd say, aye, aye, aye.
01:06:48.000 That didn't... do anything.
01:06:51.000 I'm sorry for that one.
01:06:54.000 I know what I'm wrong.
01:06:58.000 I know when I should apologize.
01:07:01.000 So, people are asking about summer looks.
01:07:03.000 It's tough.
01:07:04.000 If you check out my book, Street Boners, which was Do's and Don'ts, but I couldn't get the name Do's and Don'ts off of ice.
01:07:10.000 There's a whole middle segment about summer looks.
01:07:16.000 I don't like socks with shorts.
01:07:18.000 And I don't like shorts.
01:07:19.000 I think that shorts are okay if it's over 85 degrees.
01:07:23.000 I, of course, outlaw cargo shorts.
01:07:24.000 Your shorts should be short shorts.
01:07:27.000 And I like chucks, but I get that your feet get slimy if you don't wear socks.
01:07:33.000 So there's two solutions for this.
01:07:36.000 One is those weird no-see socks.
01:07:38.000 The ankle socks you can see, you look like, it's like I can see your underwear coming out of your pants.
01:07:44.000 It's not a good look.
01:07:45.000 So there's the no-see socks, which work great and they feel good.
01:07:49.000 They're fucking embarrassing.
01:07:51.000 So if you ever go to someone's house where they say take off your shoes, now you're barefoot by the way, which is lame, you gotta hide those.
01:07:59.000 Think of those as a thong.
01:08:01.000 Yeah, it's just as embarrassing as a thong.
01:08:04.000 So if you're in a changing room and you wear a lace thong, like say, I'm just gonna take a shit, I'll be right back!
01:08:10.000 Then take off your thong there and put it in your pocket.
01:08:13.000 Same with those things.
01:08:14.000 The other solution, by the way, is
01:08:18.000 Baby powder.
01:08:19.000 A few sprinkles of baby powder.
01:08:21.000 The problem with that is, if you ever have to take your shoes off, you leave these ghost footprints everywhere.
01:08:27.000 So basically, once you commit to those two solutions to the no sock thing, don't let anyone know.
01:08:32.000 I have noticed though, old Chuck Taylors, when they've been like wet and muddy and then washed and wet, they get to a point where your feet don't stink in them.
01:08:43.000 I don't know, they become cardboard or something, and they're immune to it.
01:08:47.000 But, uh, yeah, summer shoes include white Chuck Taylors, low-cut Chuck Taylors, Vans, maybe some Stan Smiths, maybe some, uh, Rod Lavers.
01:08:58.000 There's not a lot of summer shoes that are acceptable.
01:09:01.000 What's not acceptable is, like, these constant jogging shoes with the cargo shorts and the ankle socks and the fuckin' bent cap baseball hat.
01:09:11.000 Uh,
01:09:14.000 I just took a picture of some basic outfits.
01:09:17.000 You know my look for the summer.
01:09:18.000 It's deadbeat dad.
01:09:21.000 At the parking lot across from where my kid goes to school.
01:09:26.000 Do you want to show those, Ryan?
01:09:27.000 Oh, of course.
01:09:31.000 So, I gotta fix... Now, hold on.
01:09:34.000 Stop, stop.
01:09:35.000 I've been wearing these socks all day.
01:09:36.000 I just took them off one second ago.
01:09:37.000 That's what that weird pinch is on the leg.
01:09:40.000 And, uh, I meant to get these jeans repaired.
01:09:43.000 For some reason, the Chinese missed the front hole.
01:09:45.000 I don't know why they did that.
01:09:47.000 But, uh, nice beer belly.
01:09:49.000 Good Hawaiian shirt.
01:09:51.000 Uh, Jimmy Buffett, uh, wears that shirt.
01:09:53.000 You'll notice the low-cut chucks.
01:09:55.000 Those are actually Todd Snyder re-releases of the classic look.
01:09:58.000 He was trying to make them look more like the 1960s version.
01:10:01.000 But this is a good, reliable look.
01:10:03.000 And I don't wear shorts, generally, because when you go into an air-conditioned place, you all of a sudden are cold.
01:10:12.000 You go to a movie, you go to a bar, you go pick someone up, now it's cold in there.
01:10:15.000 Your knees get cold.
01:10:16.000 Your knees get cold.
01:10:17.000 I hate that.
01:10:17.000 So the only time I wear shorts is if I'm looking at one of my kids' baseball games and I'm going to be outside for like three hours.
01:10:24.000 Then you wear shorts.
01:10:24.000 But wear shorts.
01:10:26.000 That's the longest your shorts should be this summer, believe it or not.
01:10:31.000 And Hawaiian shirts, the only trouble with them is when you have a lot of tattoos, especially a full sleeve, it's a lot to handle.
01:10:38.000 But uh, that's a good look.
01:10:41.000 And then, this is a, I don't know, dude I've been trying to avoid this look.
01:10:46.000 The white t-shirt, that's the Puerto Rican flag by the way.
01:10:50.000 And uh, khakis with chucks.
01:10:53.000 One thing about fashion you'll notice is when you do something that's not you, you feel uncomfortable.
01:10:59.000 I wouldn't necessarily recommend this.
01:11:01.000 It seems too cholo, really.
01:11:04.000 A white t-shirt and khakis.
01:11:05.000 Now, I have a Rolex, so it sort of, it takes, it waspifies the cholo, but I just feel most comfortable in this look.
01:11:17.000 On a Sunday, I'm talking about.
01:11:18.000 Obviously, suits are preferable for the workday.
01:11:22.000 And then there's a combo, of course, of both of these, which is just, this is a great deadbeat look.
01:11:29.000 White jeans are great with the Hawaiian shirts, but like khakis and a Hawaiian shirt.
01:11:34.000 So let's just, as quickly as possible, go through some great summer looks for you, where you look like an adult, and I like you more than a, I don't know.
01:11:47.000 Fish kiss.
01:11:48.000 Fish kiss?
01:12:03.000 I got Matty's barf mic here from yesterday.
01:12:08.000 Look at this.
01:12:11.000 There's barf in the garbage.
01:12:13.000 Barfage.
01:12:14.000 That'll be the, when we write a book about Get Off My Lawn, that'll be the title.
01:12:18.000 Barf in the garbage.
01:12:21.000 Um.
01:12:23.000 So yeah, here's some summer looks.
01:12:26.000 This episode's going past the deadline here, but it's an important episode.
01:12:31.000 It's our first real summer episode.
01:12:33.000 Whoa, go back, dude!
01:12:36.000 The Chuck Taylor is the greatest shoe ever made.
01:12:40.000 It's the perfect shoe.
01:12:41.000 It's the perfect summer shoe.
01:12:42.000 High tops with khakis.
01:12:44.000 No high tops with shorts.
01:12:45.000 Low tops with shorts.
01:12:46.000 Hunter S. Thompson is the classic Chuck Taylor king.
01:12:52.000 Look at him.
01:12:53.000 Look at pictures of him in the summer.
01:12:54.000 He's perfect.
01:12:55.000 He would have to wash his Chuck Taylors because he didn't know about no-see socks and baby powder.
01:13:02.000 A brand new Chuck, the way the laces lay out, it's just art.
01:13:06.000 Anyway, here's some fun summer looks.
01:13:08.000 If you're flying in the summer, you want to wear a linen jacket, Nita Fashions, with a nice white dress shirt.
01:13:16.000 You'll get pushed up to first class if there's any problems.
01:13:20.000 The flight attendants just like you more.
01:13:23.000 It's a much better vibe to travel with a blazer in the summer, but you want to keep it light, obviously, if it's hot out.
01:13:30.000 Next.
01:13:33.000 This is adventurous, right?
01:13:35.000 We were doing a speech here.
01:13:37.000 Allie, Laura, and Milo.
01:13:39.000 I think all three of these people hate each other now.
01:13:41.000 But, uh, obviously if you're doing a show, wearing a white t-shirt with white jeans isn't crazy.
01:13:48.000 But, uh, I think you could pull that off on a normal day out.
01:13:53.000 You know, I was going through these, like, ten years of photos.
01:13:56.000 I have no idea who that is.
01:13:58.000 But this was a fun look back in 2012, I think I was wearing this.
01:14:03.000 An old surf shirt, striped, with white jeans.
01:14:08.000 I'm probably wearing chucks.
01:14:11.000 Maybe that's a human trafficking thing.
01:14:13.000 Everyone's talking about this suit.
01:14:15.000 They love it.
01:14:16.000 It is Nita Fashions.
01:14:17.000 I'm gonna have to send Nita the code on it because a lot of people want to order it.
01:14:21.000 It's very very thin too.
01:14:23.000 It's great in the summer.
01:14:25.000 I remember her.
01:14:25.000 She's some Mexican Asian broad.
01:14:30.000 This is a little off topic, but great summer bike.
01:14:32.000 This is my bicycle.
01:14:33.000 I stopped this buddy, this buddy, this guy Tim Barber, photographer in New York, because we had the exact same bike basically, but nice old leather.
01:14:41.000 Actually, it's right here.
01:14:43.000 What's it, a Brooks?
01:14:44.000 Nice leather Brooks seat.
01:14:46.000 Leather Brooks handlebars.
01:14:49.000 I love this thing.
01:14:50.000 And that's a good look, too.
01:14:52.000 Jeans.
01:14:52.000 Usually you want your top to be darker than your bottom, but jeans and a t-shirt are an exception.
01:14:58.000 Not very adventurous here, but definitely not breaking any rules.
01:15:01.000 And that's what I say to guys who aren't into fashion.
01:15:03.000 Just get some basics.
01:15:05.000 Levi's Chucks and Hanes Beefy Tees.
01:15:09.000 Now you're not hurting anyone, but you're not an asshole.
01:15:14.000 This is one of the friends that doesn't like me anymore.
01:15:16.000 I wish I could learn to never go back.
01:15:18.000 I've got a Vans shirt on there with a sunset on it.
01:15:21.000 That's my daughter when she was much younger.
01:15:23.000 White jeans, white chucks.
01:15:25.000 Next.
01:15:28.000 White jeans and a black Brooks Brothers shirt or a navy blue Brooks Brothers.
01:15:32.000 That's what's his name, Travis Millard.
01:15:34.000 What are you doing?
01:15:35.000 I'm not nuts about his look.
01:15:38.000 Anyway, next.
01:15:41.000 This is a pink shirt I got from Brooks Brothers.
01:15:43.000 Pink t-shirt.
01:15:44.000 I'm on a pink phone.
01:15:45.000 I can't remember where I got that.
01:15:46.000 Now, white jeans, you should get like three pairs.
01:15:49.000 Because they get dirty really fast.
01:15:51.000 And they look weird when they're dirty, unless you're Andrew WK.
01:15:54.000 So you rotate those.
01:15:56.000 And you want to get them nice and thin, too.
01:15:58.000 You don't want to get your pants too thin in the summer, though, because your keys bulge, and it looks bizarre.
01:16:05.000 And also, when they get dirty, they get dirty where the keys are bulging.
01:16:09.000 So you've got these weird key lines.
01:16:11.000 On your pocket.
01:16:11.000 Next.
01:16:13.000 This is my son.
01:16:15.000 My eldest boy when he was, I don't know, seven.
01:16:18.000 Zoom in on that.
01:16:18.000 That's a great look.
01:16:21.000 I wouldn't recommend Vans if you're an adult, but if you're five, wearing a J.Crew seersucker suit.
01:16:29.000 Seersuckers are always a win-win.
01:16:32.000 I'll be wearing these all summer.
01:16:35.000 Not that one, it's too small for me.
01:16:37.000 Next.
01:16:38.000 I don't mind showing my kids when they're so young they don't have that face anymore.
01:16:41.000 Go back?
01:16:42.000 The America shirt?
01:16:45.000 I got this at a vintage... What are you doing, dude?
01:16:47.000 Making sure I didn't skip any here.
01:16:49.000 Why are they so skippy?
01:16:50.000 I don't know.
01:16:52.000 Is this the next one?
01:16:53.000 It's on my scroll wheel, that's why.
01:16:56.000 You look like Gary Oldman there.
01:16:57.000 Okay, that's the next one.
01:16:59.000 That's with a scythe my friend bought to take down the weeds in his field.
01:17:04.000 By the way, I don't think I made this clear.
01:17:08.000 If you're going with Chuck Taylors, you can't have a color after the age of 23.
01:17:13.000 So the only vans you're allowed to wear are white, black, or the classic blue eras.
01:17:20.000 That's what I would recommend.
01:17:21.000 And these are like tan.
01:17:22.000 I can't remember if these are white or not.
01:17:24.000 And then an old Fred Perry.
01:17:25.000 Those are hard to find these days.
01:17:27.000 I have one.
01:17:29.000 Next.
01:17:31.000 This is a vintage shirt I got in Madison, Wisconsin.
01:17:33.000 There's Maddie!
01:17:36.000 In Madison, Wisconsin.
01:17:37.000 It's from the 60s.
01:17:39.000 Every time I wear this shirt, it's short-sleeved.
01:17:41.000 Some fucking 60-year-old would be like, love the shirt!
01:17:45.000 I think 60-year-olds are worried that no one's patriotic anymore.
01:17:48.000 But this is, I think, this may be my favorite shirt, guys.
01:17:51.000 And these are...
01:17:53.000 What are they called?
01:17:54.000 American Optical?
01:17:55.000 They're one of the few glasses companies that are made in America these days.
01:18:04.000 Now obviously I'm not quite that short.
01:18:07.000 That's some comedian back when comedians would come on my show.
01:18:10.000 I forget his name.
01:18:10.000 Italian dude.
01:18:11.000 Mark something?
01:18:12.000 Yeah.
01:18:13.000 But this is I'm kind of going animal house here with the short sleeved plaid dress shirt and then the tan khakis and of course chucks.
01:18:23.000 That picture is like 10 years old.
01:18:27.000 Again, plaid, short sleeve, shirt, khakis, chucks.
01:18:33.000 I have no idea who that is.
01:18:35.000 No idea.
01:18:37.000 Now at a Mets game, you're gonna, you're gonna spice it up.
01:18:40.000 This is a bunch of cops got a box, got a box.
01:18:45.000 And I was so excited there that I drank half a bottle of bourbon and slept through a third of the game.
01:18:52.000 Not impressive.
01:18:55.000 Here's our old pal Dinesh.
01:18:56.000 Now I've made some mistakes here.
01:18:57.000 That belt is retarded for white pants with a tan blazer.
01:19:01.000 It should have been a preppy belt that's like pink with stripes or something.
01:19:04.000 The tie is way too dark for that outfit.
01:19:07.000 I think actually Dinesh might beat me.
01:19:10.000 As far as lack of faux pas.
01:19:12.000 The only thing I don't like about Dinesh is like he made the same belt mistake I made.
01:19:17.000 With too too dark of a belt.
01:19:19.000 And then the problem with a polo and a blazer is the collar tends to get lost underneath the blazer.
01:19:25.000 So you want like a pretty stiff collar, which I think Dinesh is doing.
01:19:28.000 I'm not bananas about the dark buttons.
01:19:29.000 But the problem is your wrists.
01:19:32.000 Well first his blazer is too long.
01:19:34.000 It's too big for him.
01:19:35.000 When you, you don't, everyone wants to see a cuff come out of a blazer and when you have a polo on, you have this weird bare wrist.
01:19:43.000 Looks weird, like Bear Grylls.
01:19:47.000 Gorgeous beach look, like people always say to me, especially Australians are like, G'day mate, are you serious?
01:19:53.000 You can't wear flip-flops at the beach.
01:19:55.000 No.
01:19:56.000 They call them sandals over there.
01:19:58.000 No, you may not wear sandals ever!
01:20:00.000 I wear these to the beach, right?
01:20:03.000 I walk over the hot sand in those, I get to my spot, I take them off, and then I can walk to the water from where my shoes are.
01:20:11.000 At the end of the day, I pick up my shoes, I walk, the sand's not hot anymore, and then I dry my feet off, wash them off, and put those back on.
01:20:20.000 And now, by the way, I could go to a bar after the beach.
01:20:23.000 I don't have to go change my shoes.
01:20:26.000 Flip-flops should not exist.
01:20:30.000 What about Crocs?
01:20:31.000 No.
01:20:32.000 Now, when you have a t-shirt and jeans on, as I said earlier, it's acceptable, you want to get the right height.
01:20:37.000 This is too long.
01:20:41.000 You shouldn't tuck your t-shirt in, but if you are going to tuck your t-shirt in, this is way too long to wear your t-shirt, and then this is too short.
01:20:47.000 You want to find a happy medium between these.
01:20:50.000 And by the way, I've noticed with some really old vans, just like the old Chucks, when they have been through the ringer a few times, they also don't stink.
01:21:01.000 It's like they become jaded and can take the abuse of your moist toes.
01:21:08.000 Great July 4th look.
01:21:10.000 Of course on July 4th all bets are off.
01:21:12.000 That mustache looks ridiculous.
01:21:16.000 Again, khakis can't go wrong.
01:21:19.000 I find wearing a baseball hat when you have short hair makes you look like a cancer patient.
01:21:22.000 It's nice to have some wings coming out on the side.
01:21:26.000 Okay, I'm finally getting into the groove here with this show as my allergies get- I've been in fucking pain this entire show.
01:21:32.000 Not as bad as Maddie puking into a waste paper basket, but... I don't know- that's again- I don't know why these white t-shirts feel so comfortable.
01:21:43.000 Oh, zoom out a bit.
01:21:45.000 This is what's great about the Hawaiian shirts, if you can find one with, like, war planes on them.
01:21:49.000 This is the quintessential- These glasses are a little faggy, but this is the quintessential deadbeat dad look.
01:21:57.000 World War II planes with some palm trees on a dark Hawaiian shirt.
01:22:02.000 This makes me want to abandon my kids.
01:22:07.000 Uh, this look is fucking annoying.
01:22:11.000 The the military jacket when you're not in the military gets on my nerves these like bit what do you call them bit 8-bit glasses?
01:22:20.000 Che Guevara hat although I hate how these guys are anti-war yet.
01:22:23.000 They wear nothing but military garb.
01:22:26.000 What does that mean?
01:22:28.000 But again, white pants.
01:22:29.000 Oh, this is a racetrack where they don't want you drinking, so they put a wristband around you, and then you can't go to the bar.
01:22:39.000 Unless, of course, you fold your arm into your shirt and make it a stub, and then you don't have a wristband, right?
01:22:47.000 So you must not be racing later.
01:22:49.000 I'm talking about racing go-karts.
01:22:50.000 I forget the name of the place.
01:22:53.000 So I would hide my arm like that with a stub.
01:22:56.000 My arms folded into itself.
01:22:57.000 My hand is right there.
01:22:59.000 And then I'd go drink, party, and then I would unfurl it to go race the go-karts.
01:23:04.000 These are the same jeans you saw at the beginning, by the way.
01:23:09.000 Again, white pants and Hawaiian shirt.
01:23:12.000 Great way to go.
01:23:13.000 This is in Seattle.
01:23:17.000 Also, if you're alone and you're looking out the window, I recommend Hanes Tidy Whities.
01:23:24.000 And if you're wearing those, pull them up nice and high.
01:23:26.000 It accentuates your buttocks.
01:23:31.000 White jeans, can't go wrong.
01:23:32.000 Mets shirt.
01:23:33.000 I know I say don't have shit on your shirt.
01:23:35.000 You should have shit on your shirt if it's a censored .TV shirt.
01:23:38.000 Or if it's a place like Wyoming.
01:23:42.000 Or if it's a sports team.
01:23:43.000 But just not Motorhead or Motley Crue or something.
01:23:46.000 That's embarrassing.
01:23:48.000 That's called a turtle.
01:23:49.000 There's my girl Laura.
01:23:51.000 Again, this is a linen suit.
01:23:54.000 You can see the way it kind of bunches up like a paper bag at the bottom there.
01:23:59.000 Pink shirt.
01:24:00.000 I think this might be this actual shirt.
01:24:03.000 This looks white, but it's actually sort of a tan off beige linen suit.
01:24:10.000 That's a better look at the suit.
01:24:12.000 This was in Florida in July, so I didn't want to be hot.
01:24:16.000 That's not usually a problem.
01:24:17.000 You know what happened the other day?
01:24:18.000 I was on my motorcycle with a Vans backpack, and like khakis and a white t-shirt, tattoos, and my helmet fully covers my face.
01:24:28.000 So there's these pretty teenage girls, or maybe 20 year olds, coming from Iona College, and they see me and they're like, hehehe.
01:24:35.000 Because they probably think, they can't see my head, they probably think I'm one of them.
01:24:38.000 Because I'm dressed like a fucking child.
01:24:41.000 And then I wanted to take off the helmet.
01:24:44.000 You know the way hot chicks take off their helmet and they go like that?
01:24:46.000 And you're like, holy shit, it's a hot chick!
01:24:49.000 I wanted to do that and they could see a turtle with AIDS and be like, what the fuck was I giggling about?
01:24:55.000 Suspenders are hard to pull off, especially if you don't have shoulders, but it is a good look.
01:25:03.000 Zoom in on this.
01:25:06.000 These are greater days, isn't it?
01:25:08.000 There's Joe Biggs, who's rotting in prison right now, and some Chinaman, on a boat in Florida in the blistering heat.
01:25:18.000 The Donzi.
01:25:19.000 That's Paul Rea's boat.
01:25:21.000 He's on house arrest, awaiting trial.
01:25:24.000 Oh, really?
01:25:25.000 He was a Jan 6, too?
01:25:26.000 Yes.
01:25:27.000 What a fucking joke.
01:25:28.000 And there's Mindy, the chick that everybody made fun of in my telegram, so I deleted it.
01:25:34.000 This is why Joe's in jail.
01:25:38.000 For supporting Trump and being patriotic and enjoying life.
01:25:42.000 That's his real crime.
01:25:44.000 It's not going to the bathroom in the Capitol.
01:25:47.000 In the urinal.
01:25:48.000 In the men's bathroom.
01:25:49.000 And then leaving when he was told.
01:25:53.000 It's a great summer look though.
01:25:54.000 That's the shoe that started it all.
01:25:57.000 Only with pants, guys, not with shorts.
01:25:59.000 This is a fun look.
01:26:00.000 We're getting off on a tangent now, I guess.
01:26:02.000 This is a fun look if you want to show off your beave and it's hot out, wear some sexy leather boots.
01:26:08.000 She was adopted.
01:26:10.000 And when adopted people, when a slut puts a girl up for adoption because she's too slutty and the girl gets adopted by a nice middle-class family in Connecticut, the slut comes out.
01:26:20.000 It's like the horror movie, The Beast Within.
01:26:23.000 And that is the same chick that put her up for adoption.
01:26:27.000 Isn't that funny?
01:26:29.000 Our genetics are who we are.
01:26:31.000 Those are great boots though.
01:26:33.000 Again, that's the shirt I was wearing with the gun there.
01:26:35.000 This is in Paris when I was arrested by the FBI.
01:26:39.000 Great look.
01:26:40.000 Great look!
01:26:43.000 Here's a fun little Gingham shirt to wear.
01:26:46.000 You know, on a hot day, sometimes you can have long sleeves, especially Gingham, with some white shorts and some chucks.
01:26:54.000 Going on a boat in Marseille.
01:26:58.000 White Fred Perry is always a safe bet.
01:27:01.000 That's probably a little too white.
01:27:02.000 This, by the way, is the origin of her husband said, yes, they're going to say that joy is like the Statue of Liberty plus 100 meters.
01:27:10.000 She divorced him soon after that joke.
01:27:15.000 This is a great shirt I got from my dad.
01:27:17.000 It's very thin mesh.
01:27:18.000 When it's a total heat wave, this is a great shirt to wear.
01:27:20.000 I said, Dad, that shirt's awesome.
01:27:22.000 And he goes, really?
01:27:23.000 And he just took it off and threw it to me.
01:27:25.000 He literally gave me the shirt off his back.
01:27:29.000 Another great look, we got the Vans eras, old jeans, Mets shirt.
01:27:35.000 Camping.
01:27:36.000 Corsi and Mackay.
01:27:37.000 These are kinda, I'm not sure if these are allowed for anyone over 40.
01:27:43.000 The Vans with the line.
01:27:44.000 This is what the Tranny wore, by the way, at the last mass shooting.
01:27:48.000 But, that's a great nothing look for a Sunday.
01:27:51.000 After church.
01:27:53.000 These, that's that reality show chick who is a poker wizard.
01:28:00.000 These, the suspenders, no.
01:28:03.000 Suspenders and a belt, no.
01:28:05.000 But I love this shirt.
01:28:06.000 It's not a Lonsdale, but it's one of those British skinhead shirts with the khakis and the chucks.
01:28:14.000 Great stuff.
01:28:14.000 Very 50s.
01:28:15.000 You know, the early mod scene was actually emulating 50s preppies in America.
01:28:21.000 And it's a really safe bet to stick with.
01:28:25.000 Again with the Hawaiian.
01:28:25.000 I think we're getting the picture here.
01:28:27.000 Let's sort of rip through these.
01:28:29.000 Got it.
01:28:30.000 That's in London.
01:28:32.000 Oh, we're done.
01:28:32.000 Good.
01:28:33.000 And then we have one, let's go all the way to the top.
01:28:36.000 What do we have?
01:28:37.000 You missed one at the beginning?
01:28:39.000 I think it would be better for the show just to forget it, Ryan.
01:28:42.000 Unless it's amazing.
01:28:44.000 Oh yeah, this is at a Proud Boys rally.
01:28:47.000 This is hard to pull off.
01:28:49.000 I think these guys may have overdone it with the accessories.
01:28:53.000 But, you know, if it works, it works.
01:28:56.000 That's really what all this summer look shit comes down to is what you feel the most comfortable in.
01:29:02.000 Like, most of us would think this hat was a bit much, but Milo, it was the perfect amount.
01:29:06.000 All right, let's get back to work.
01:29:21.000 Oh man, big show, big show.
01:29:23.000 Well, it's big show!
01:29:28.000 So I was talking about Turtle Boy last week and saying journalism is dead because no one researches anything and I was reminded that not only is Turtle Boy one of the few remaining journalists in the world who actually does the work but
01:29:45.000 All the other fake journalists just rip them off.
01:29:48.000 So it sucks that most journalists are lazy and they just go with what they saw on Twitter and don't actually call the people and do the research.
01:29:57.000 But then when you have one of the five left in America who actually do the work, they all get ripped off.
01:30:03.000 Or banned or fired or canceled So after all that fluff Let's if you can get turtle boy on the line.
01:30:12.000 I can let's talk to him Well, who am I kidding?
01:30:15.000 We already interviewed him.
01:30:16.000 This is you'll notice.
01:30:17.000 I don't have allergies in this clip.
01:30:19.000 Let's yeah Let's talk to him about the death of journalism in America.
01:30:24.000 Oh
01:30:29.000 Turtle Boy, are you there?
01:30:30.000 I'm here.
01:30:32.000 Great to see you.
01:30:33.000 I'm a big fan.
01:30:35.000 What I love about you is, every time I think journalism is dead, there's like a handful, literally a handful, five guys who are out there making the calls, making the connections, you know, hitting the pavement.
01:30:50.000 And I feel like it's a dead art, don't you think?
01:30:53.000 Oh, it totally is.
01:30:54.000 I mean, everything's corporate owned and
01:30:57.000 All the media basically does is just report what police give them, report what courts give them, and just pass it along.
01:31:05.000 Nobody actually does investigative journalism.
01:31:08.000 I think it's worse.
01:31:09.000 I think there's one guy who does a story, he tweets it out, and then they just link it.
01:31:15.000 Yes.
01:31:16.000 Reportedly.
01:31:17.000 And all they have to do is go back.
01:31:18.000 For example, there was a rumor that the FBI classified the Proud Boys as a hate group.
01:31:23.000 An extremist, terrorist, white supremacist group.
01:31:26.000 No, I've met one journalist who just contacted the FBI and the FBI went, that's not true.
01:31:34.000 And that was in everyone else was this domino effect of the first lie being repeated by every other journalist.
01:31:41.000 Yeah, because nobody wants to do any work.
01:31:43.000 Nobody wants to get off their ass.
01:31:44.000 Nobody wants to go down to the courthouse, you know, work on tips that they have.
01:31:48.000 Nobody has sources anymore, like nobody has sources.
01:31:50.000 And that's kind of what separates
01:31:52.000 Me from the rest.
01:31:54.000 The best reporters have the best sources.
01:31:56.000 They have people that are feeding them information because your reputation precedes you and they know that you are the person to get this out because you're going to tell the story most effectively.
01:32:06.000 Yeah, like Eric Adams, for example, the New York Post.
01:32:10.000 Sorry, Eric Adams, our mayor.
01:32:11.000 The New York Post adored him from day one.
01:32:14.000 Anyone who's met one cop in their life knows that Eric Adams was always seen as a joke.
01:32:19.000 He was part of the hundred black officers.
01:32:20.000 He was always suing and complaining about racism.
01:32:23.000 No collars, no arrests, no nothing.
01:32:26.000 And when I saw the New York Post fawning all over him, I thought, you don't have any reporters there anymore.
01:32:32.000 No.
01:32:32.000 Because you can find all that stuff, they just don't want to.
01:32:35.000 It's literally just more work.
01:32:37.000 They are willing to do the work on anything that makes the right look bad.
01:32:42.000 Matt Gaetz, they have a boner for that guy.
01:32:47.000 Obviously Donald Trump and people like that.
01:32:50.000 So they will do investigative journalism when it comes to the right.
01:32:53.000 They're still gung ho about that.
01:32:55.000 And I guess that's why there's a demand for people like me and people like Glenn Greenwald and Matt Taibbi, because nobody does that to the left.
01:33:03.000 And when you do, you get labeled as, you know, right wing, but anybody who's followed
01:33:08.000 Glenn and Matt's work over the years knows that those, that's laughable, obviously, those guys that, they're just filling a void that no one else is filling, and so it's an opportunity, why wouldn't you report that?
01:33:20.000 It really is that small of a list.
01:33:22.000 You, Matt Taibbi, Glenn Greenwald, who else is there?
01:33:29.000 James O'Keefe.
01:33:30.000 Yep.
01:33:30.000 Yeah.
01:33:30.000 Oh, he does great work.
01:33:32.000 I'm at four now and I'm slowing down.
01:33:35.000 What about Andy Ngo?
01:33:36.000 Would you say Andy Ngo is one of these?
01:33:37.000 I would not say Andy Ngo at all, actually.
01:33:39.000 What?
01:33:41.000 Andy Ngo is a grifter.
01:33:42.000 And I know that firsthand because of my experience with him.
01:33:46.000 In 2011, no, no, 2021, sorry.
01:33:50.000 Andy, and I admire, and this is someone who deeply admired Andy.
01:33:53.000 I followed him.
01:33:54.000 And I seem like he was an on-the-ground kind of guy, but really what he was doing, now that I look back at it, is he was just running into traffic and complaining he got hit by a truck.
01:34:03.000 That's basically what he does.
01:34:05.000 He just runs into Antifa, unarmed, he's 5'3", and just gets the shit kicked out of him.
01:34:11.000 I mean, it sucks!
01:34:12.000 It's bad!
01:34:13.000 Like, it shouldn't happen, obviously.
01:34:14.000 Yeah, we're not justifying Antifa, but I feel similarly about Heather Heyer.
01:34:18.000 Like, she went there in Lululemons and flip-flops to go kick Nazi ass.
01:34:23.000 Yeah, it's unfortunate, but, you know, what are you going to do?
01:34:27.000 So he one of my favorite stories that he broke all by himself was this Michaela Miller story about this.
01:34:35.000 What was that story again that he came up with on his own?
01:34:38.000 He came up with it.
01:34:39.000 So in the town of Hopkinton, Massachusetts, where the marathon starts.
01:34:43.000 It's a there was a girl named Michaela Miller.
01:34:45.000 She was 16 years old in 2021 and very tragic story She was suffering from some mental health issues and her girlfriend broke up with her and oh, yeah she didn't know how to handle it, you know teen angst and
01:34:58.000 How did she do that?
01:34:59.000 What was that method?
01:35:19.000 A belt, so she tied a belt around her neck.
01:35:20.000 Okay, so it's what she, not to spoil it, but that's what she ended up using.
01:35:23.000 That's what she ended up using, yep.
01:35:25.000 And so the girl, the girlfriend reports it to the guidance counselor and says, you know, I'm really worried about this, can we do something?
01:35:34.000 I later obtain those emails because Michaela Miller ends up killing herself by walking into the woods and immediately... No assets here, Ryan?
01:35:44.000 Within a few days, yeah, within a few days.
01:35:48.000 A mob of BLM grifters led by a woman named Monica Cannon Grant, like if you research her, she's currently under federal indictment.
01:35:55.000 She's being charged with 27 counts of BLM fraud, and I've been covering her for years as well.
01:36:01.000 So Monica shows up in town, and I immediately know there's a grift going on here.
01:36:04.000 There's a scam, and she's yelling lynching.
01:36:06.000 She's yelling, five white kids lynched this girl, and there it is.
01:36:11.000 Yeah, so little Caitlin Anderson there was the ex-girlfriend, and she
01:36:17.000 Basically, could not go to her friend's funeral or any services because Monica Cannon Grant brought a mob to town, including Ben freaking Crump came to town.
01:36:28.000 That's how you know things are bad.
01:36:29.000 Birdwich is the bald eagle.
01:36:30.000 That's our guy.
01:36:31.000 Yeah, he really is.
01:36:32.000 And so he they were making these claims that these five white teenagers lynched Michaela Miller.
01:36:38.000 It was completely untrue.
01:36:39.000 The D.A.'
01:36:40.000 's office investigated.
01:36:41.000 They all have phones tracking them at different places hours before.
01:36:44.000 Like, none of it adds up.
01:36:46.000 And so of course it's nonsense, but facts don't matter to these people, and they just are, you know, they're just looking for a cause to get behind.
01:36:54.000 But what they don't, what sucked was they hurt children.
01:36:58.000 Like five innocent children were labeled as murdering lynch, lynchers.
01:37:04.000 Yeah, it's the Duke Lacrosse thing all over again.
01:37:06.000 Isn't it amazing, by the way, when a bullshit story like that starts, and they are always bullshit.
01:37:11.000 White kids don't go around lynching blacks, sorry.
01:37:14.000 But isn't it amazing how the second there's a hint of that narrative, the media starts masturbating fanatically and tripping over themselves to report on this.
01:37:24.000 Like, they want that to be true so badly.
01:37:27.000 It's such a strange desire to have.
01:37:30.000 They never outright say it.
01:37:32.000 This is an example of how lazy they are.
01:37:34.000 They never outright say it.
01:37:35.000 They just say, people are saying.
01:37:38.000 Right.
01:37:39.000 And so that's just the laziest form of reporting.
01:37:40.000 Questions about racism rear their ugly head.
01:37:43.000 Whereas, like, a real reporter then looks into it, and that's what I did.
01:37:47.000 I found the girl, I found her mother, who was not a very easy person to deal with, and I calmed her down, and we had a conversation.
01:37:57.000 I got her on my show, they showed me the emails, and I'm like, now we have a story.
01:38:01.000 So when you say the mother, you mean the mother of one of these white kids who was accused of lynching the girl?
01:38:06.000 That's correct.
01:38:07.000 And the girl hanged herself in a very almost self-sadistic way.
01:38:11.000 Masochistic, I guess is the word.
01:38:13.000 She had the belt very low, and she just sort of sunk down and suffocated herself to death.
01:38:18.000 Yeah.
01:38:18.000 I mean, those are harder, obviously, because when you're hanging from the gallows, you drop.
01:38:22.000 You're done.
01:38:23.000 You made your choice.
01:38:24.000 It's like jumping off a bridge.
01:38:26.000 Whereas you can pull back at any time the way she did it.
01:38:29.000 And that requires like a dedication to it.
01:38:32.000 And so you can imagine the mentality this girl was in.
01:38:35.000 And I thought it was so horrific because we could be having a conversation right now about mental health with children and like what can be done to help it.
01:38:42.000 The freaking girl wrote an email to the school.
01:38:44.000 They did nothing with it.
01:38:45.000 We're always talking about mental health and blah, blah, blah.
01:38:47.000 They're alerted to it.
01:38:48.000 They do nothing.
01:38:49.000 And what are we talking about?
01:38:50.000 Racism.
01:38:51.000 Racism, that becomes the topic.
01:38:53.000 And so I write about it, and I have a pretty big audience in New England, but outside of New England, I'm not as well known, Andy is.
01:39:00.000 So I want to get this to a larger conservative audience to get the word out about what's happening here in Hopkinton.
01:39:06.000 So Andy, I sent him a DM, and he immediately takes an interest in the story.
01:39:11.000 And him and I have a back and forth conversation that goes on for two months.
01:39:16.000 And frequently during our conversation, I printed all the chat logs or the text logs between us on the blog, which I normally wouldn't do.
01:39:24.000 Pull that up, Jamie.
01:39:25.000 Yeah.
01:39:27.000 And during the conversation, he frequently asks me, he seems to be willing to do no work himself.
01:39:33.000 He's asking me, can you get a hold of Megan Anderson?
01:39:39.000 She's hard to deal with.
01:39:40.000 Can you please get her on here?
01:39:42.000 This is very hard for me.
01:39:44.000 Can you do this?
01:39:44.000 Can you do this?
01:39:45.000 Can you do this?
01:39:46.000 Can you do this?
01:39:46.000 Can you do this?
01:39:47.000 I do all the legwork in this story, because I've already done all the legwork in this story.
01:39:52.000 And I'm just looking for this to reach a larger audience, and for him to cite me.
01:39:56.000 Like, that would be nice, Andy.
01:39:57.000 I know I don't work for the New York Times, I don't work for the Washington Post, but I did do all the legwork, and I was once, like you probably once were, an independent person, getting started, trying to make a name for themselves, trying to get their brand out there, and Andy writes his whole story two months later, and it gets published in Newsweek.
01:40:17.000 I'm not cited.
01:40:19.000 I'm not cited at all.
01:40:20.000 Well, it gets worse.
01:40:21.000 He said, if you go to the third link, Ryan, he said that these details were not previously reported.
01:40:27.000 He said he broke the story.
01:40:29.000 Yes, he did.
01:40:29.000 That was his tweet.
01:40:30.000 No, not previously reported.
01:40:33.000 I reported that two months ago, Andy, and I asked him about that.
01:40:37.000 I said in the conversation, I said, Andy,
01:40:40.000 How can you say that this is not previously reported when you know that I reported this two months ago?
01:40:44.000 He's like, well, it was not published in any newspaper.
01:40:46.000 It's like, and that just shows that he's part of the media Inc now that like, if you are not working for some sort of corporate controlled media entity, you don't count and are unworthy of citation.
01:40:58.000 Like we, I don't have to recognize you cause you don't work for NBC.
01:41:01.000 I mean, Andy, no, um, has more respect for CNN.
01:41:06.000 An NBC than he ever will for someone like me because I work for myself.
01:41:11.000 Meanwhile, you're one of, I can think of four good reporters.
01:41:14.000 What was the other time he did this too?
01:41:16.000 Was that, was that the, uh, Dasha Kelly was a different story.
01:41:19.000 I remember getting stolen from you, but what was the other one?
01:41:23.000 Ryan, pull up the fourth and third link.
01:41:26.000 No, fourth link.
01:41:28.000 You said he does this a lot?
01:41:29.000 So this wasn't, this is not, this is Greg Reeve this time.
01:41:32.000 So it's same idea.
01:41:33.000 This is conservative media.
01:41:35.000 Andy Noah's stolen some small, oh, this one.
01:41:37.000 Yeah.
01:41:38.000 So, I mean, this one, technically I don't own this story, but it was weird because Andy followed me and I found this.
01:41:44.000 So this was a story in, uh, it was a kid with a 13 year old kid in Denver went missing and the ambler was put out and they found the guy in Nebraska with the boy.
01:41:56.000 I think so.
01:42:16.000 That's not the pattern.
01:42:17.000 Good reporters can notice patterns.
01:42:34.000 You know, and when I write a story, I like to cite someone, you know, because it helps build SEO.
01:42:40.000 It's just a form of camaraderie.
01:42:41.000 You build relationships that way.
01:42:43.000 And it seems to just want to be the first to report all the time and get all the credit for it.
01:42:47.000 Well, it seems to be working so far.
01:42:49.000 I mean, the problem with clown world these days is scammers succeed.
01:42:54.000 Like this Bud Light catastrophe, there's a one in three chance it actually does well.
01:43:01.000 It gets young people interested in Bud Light.
01:43:03.000 Eric Adams lied, cheated, sued.
01:43:05.000 He's the mayor of New York City.
01:43:08.000 These fucking loser scumbags like Andy Ngo end up succeeding by fucking people over.
01:43:14.000 It's a tale as old as time.
01:43:16.000 It's like they forgot their roots.
01:43:17.000 Like they forgot where they came from.
01:43:19.000 They're just ruthless.
01:43:20.000 And I'm sorry, Turtle Boy is not condoning what I'm about to say, but my experience has been gays can be a little more ruthless than straights.
01:43:27.000 You know, they've had to hustle to survive.
01:43:29.000 They're like the Ratso Rizzo of the sexual preference world.
01:43:33.000 And if they're not scamming and scheming, someone's going to drop a rock on their head.
01:43:37.000 So they have this, like, do or die mentality that other people don't have.
01:43:42.000 Because Glenn Greenwald's gay.
01:43:44.000 Yeah, Glenn Greenwald's an exception to that.
01:43:47.000 But okay, here's another one that has nothing to do with homosexuality.
01:43:51.000 There was a woman, you broke this story and it got stolen from you, there was a woman who was claiming her five kids are going to be evicted and she did this really sad video and your instincts sussed out, that's not the mom.
01:44:05.000 Yeah, well, it just seemed like it made no sense because the it was in August of 2021.
01:44:09.000 She said, I lost my job at the casino and that didn't make any sense because the casinos had been open for a long time by that point.
01:44:16.000 So there's no reason she should have lost her job.
01:44:18.000 Yeah, they're probably desperate for staff.
01:44:20.000 Good instincts.
01:44:21.000 Turns out she was fired from her job at the casino and to make matters worse.
01:44:26.000 So I put the first blog out where I'm like, nothing adds up about the story.
01:44:30.000 And you know the blog gets a lot of attention and next thing you know I have a woman in my DMs from Nevada who's telling me
01:44:37.000 Those, I got some bombshell here, those are my kids.
01:44:41.000 Those kids on CNN with her that she's, and by the way, Erin, whatever her name is from CNN, shared her GoFundMe and they made $250,000 off it.
01:44:49.000 So did the real mom contact you?
01:44:53.000 Contacted me, because I put out the first story about it.
01:44:55.000 Put that up, Jamie.
01:44:57.000 And it led to, the sources come to you, that's what I mean by sources.
01:45:00.000 The woman comes to me and is like, can you tell my story?
01:45:04.000 I have her on my show.
01:45:05.000 I interview her.
01:45:06.000 She's crying.
01:45:07.000 This woman works like 50 hours a week cleaning toilets in the casinos and is raising these kids.
01:45:13.000 She's a good mom.
01:45:14.000 And these kids, this woman, Daisha Kelly, is dating
01:45:18.000 I don't know.
01:45:39.000 Because of propaganda like this.
01:45:41.000 This is powerful propaganda.
01:45:43.000 And that goes back to what I was saying too about this need for it to be true.
01:45:48.000 If I want the Mets to be the greatest team in the world, I'm going to take one tiny glimmer of random propaganda where someone says the Mets are definitely going to the World Series this year and I'll just be like,
01:45:57.000 It's been confirmed.
01:45:59.000 Matt's making it to the World Series because I want that to be true.
01:46:02.000 So it's that implicit bias, that need to live in a racist America that makes them run with these dumb rumors.
01:46:10.000 Yeah, they need to find anecdotes.
01:46:11.000 They need anecdotes because that's what sells.
01:46:14.000 And they don't care if they're true.
01:46:15.000 They don't care if they're researching it.
01:46:17.000 But I do.
01:46:18.000 And I looked into this because it just didn't smell right.
01:46:20.000 And as it turns out, it was much worse.
01:46:23.000 I just assumed she was lying about
01:46:26.000 Not about losing her job?
01:46:27.000 Turns out she was lying about the kids, too!
01:46:30.000 So where did that $250,000 go?
01:46:33.000 So, luckily, I got her in touch with my attorney, Mark Randazza.
01:46:37.000 Great guy, love him to death, good pal.
01:46:39.000 And the real mother ended up getting three quarters of that.
01:46:42.000 Okay, that's fairly good news.
01:46:45.000 We still got like, what, $60,000 going to some lying hustler?
01:46:50.000 Yeah, I mean, she got something out of it, but it was just, you know, the court's work.
01:46:54.000 Basically, she was... I don't know how the courts work.
01:46:56.000 Mark wouldn't take a deal if he didn't think it was like... Yeah, of course.
01:47:00.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:47:03.000 So I'm like, this is gold.
01:47:05.000 I'm like, this is... Tucker Carlson would love this.
01:47:08.000 I contact his producer Greg Rhee on Twitter and I send him the story.
01:47:08.000 Yeah.
01:47:14.000 I'm like, you got to see this.
01:47:15.000 And he's like, he couldn't believe it.
01:47:17.000 And he's like, this is gold.
01:47:19.000 And next within a couple hours, I'm like, you know, if you do it, can you please cite me?
01:47:23.000 He agrees.
01:47:24.000 A couple hours later, Fox News has a story up about it.
01:47:27.000 And it's because it shames CNN.
01:47:29.000 It's gold for Fox News.
01:47:30.000 I'm not mentioned, I'm not cited anywhere.
01:47:33.000 So I contact Greg, and I'm like, hey, is there a mistake here?
01:47:36.000 He's like, oh, we'll fix that right away, we'll fix that.
01:47:38.000 Yeah, sure you will.
01:47:39.000 Yeah, he ends up blocking me.
01:47:41.000 And so it's just like, it's like, are you kidding?
01:47:44.000 Like, what is the harm here?
01:47:47.000 Like, what is the harm?
01:47:48.000 Yeah, well, he also, didn't he say we don't have time?
01:47:50.000 It's a nanosecond.
01:47:53.000 As Turtle Boy reported.
01:47:54.000 It's a choice.
01:47:55.000 It's a conscious choice because their bosses at Fox News are basically like, we are not in the business of citing something called Turtle Boy.
01:48:03.000 We are in the business of citing CNN and the Washington Post and all these other places we claim to hate.
01:48:09.000 But we're going to basically work with them and cite them.
01:48:12.000 They have an agreement.
01:48:14.000 I know you as Turtle Boy.
01:48:14.000 What's your real name again?
01:48:15.000 Aiden Carney.
01:48:16.000 Aiden McCarney.
01:48:18.000 Aiden.
01:48:18.000 Aiden.
01:48:19.000 So you just go, as Citizen Reporter Aiden McCarney pointed out, boom.
01:48:19.000 Aiden.
01:48:25.000 Less than one second to say.
01:48:27.000 A little link helps.
01:48:27.000 Not hard at all.
01:48:29.000 Thanks Andy.
01:48:30.000 And I would posit that James O'Keefe has made the word Citizen Reporter de-stigma.
01:48:36.000 You can say that now and no one rolls their eyes.
01:48:39.000 Yeah, but in a sense, he's not taken seriously by a lot of people.
01:48:43.000 I take him seriously.
01:48:44.000 We're getting there.
01:48:44.000 You take him seriously.
01:48:45.000 We're getting there.
01:48:46.000 We're on the cusp.
01:48:47.000 All right, I gotta go.
01:48:48.000 This went twice as long as I expected because it's fascinating, and I think it's indicative of a much bigger problem.
01:48:48.000 We're out of time.
01:48:54.000 I hope you don't get discouraged by all these cocksuckers ripping you off.
01:48:57.000 No, I won't.
01:48:57.000 I'm going to keep going.
01:48:58.000 It's going to keep happening.
01:48:59.000 I'm just going to keep doing what I do.
01:49:01.000 Right, because the bigger priority there is getting the truth out.
01:49:03.000 Exactly.
01:49:04.000 Exactly.
01:49:05.000 All right, man.
01:49:06.000 Let's check in with you again soon.
01:49:07.000 Sounds good.
01:49:08.000 Thanks for having me.
01:49:16.000 How long is an allergic freakout?
01:49:19.000 This started at... uh... this started at... three hours ago.
01:49:25.000 And it's just... and that nasal spray didn't do shit.
01:49:31.000 Should've used the Jump Medic one.
01:49:32.000 You know, if you're on heroin and you're dying and someone jabs you with Narcan, boom!
01:49:38.000 Ryan, when I'm talking to someone like that, I want you to pull up shit more.
01:49:40.000 They don't need to see the two talking heads.
01:49:56.000 Can't you make us small in the corner here and then be showing all the stuff he's talking about?
01:50:01.000 I showed some of the stuff.
01:50:03.000 Turtle Boy and I are not as sexy as the guy from Prison Break, so I don't think people need to see our faces going...
01:50:11.000 That's true.
01:50:12.000 Well, we got this.
01:50:13.000 Oh, so this is the chick.
01:50:14.000 These are not her kids.
01:50:16.000 These are, this is the girlfriend of the baby daddy who made originally a quarter mil, but eventually 60 grand pretending that she was being evicted for no reason.
01:50:32.000 But why is this resolution so crap?
01:50:33.000 Is this the best you can do?
01:50:36.000 Yes.
01:50:37.000 Are you sure?
01:50:37.000 It was in the links.
01:50:41.000 It should be in that last link, Ryan, as a Twitter video.
01:50:47.000 Oh, okay, okay.
01:50:48.000 Did you just dig that up yourself?
01:50:49.000 Yeah, I don't know if they showed the full thing.
01:50:51.000 Well, I've already provided it, actually, so yeah.
01:50:54.000 This is what I wanted you to play while we were talking.
01:50:58.000 Did you catch this part, though?
01:51:00.000 I was just saying the GoFundMe is now at 90,000.
01:51:03.000 This lasts for three minutes of her reacting.
01:51:07.000 7,000.
01:51:08.000 To her GoFundMe going to 92,000.
01:51:10.000 The one that was at 89 a minute ago?
01:51:14.000 Yes.
01:51:14.000 Is she?
01:51:17.000 Yes, 97,000.
01:51:21.000 This is crazy.
01:51:22.000 I'm sorry.
01:51:23.000 This is crazy.
01:51:24.000 Oh my God.
01:51:26.000 What a scam artist.
01:51:29.000 But you're not our mother and we're not getting evicted.
01:51:31.000 This is crazy.
01:51:32.000 Thank you guys so much.
01:51:33.000 Oh my God.
01:51:34.000 You and your family are worth it.
01:51:36.000 You and your family are worth it.
01:51:38.000 You're worth it.
01:51:40.000 You are worth having your knees bent.
01:51:42.000 Look, now they hear $89,000, they start hamming it up.
01:51:46.000 Don't show your panties on TV.
01:51:53.000 Can we see some of your actual tears, please?
01:51:58.000 Look at CNN.
01:51:59.000 They could not care less about the truth.
01:52:04.000 Thank you guys so much.
01:52:06.000 All right.
01:52:16.000 It let this happen for, not even kidding, two more minutes.
01:52:21.000 Somebody's got to say bye here.
01:52:22.000 Well, I guess we will.
01:52:25.000 Bye.
01:52:26.000 This is the whole Oprah thing, right?
01:52:27.000 You say like, how did that make you feel when your mother died?
01:52:30.000 You get them to cry and then you just keep milking it.
01:52:34.000 It's like milking cows.
01:52:37.000 I want to talk about the mailbag.
01:52:39.000 Ryan, what do you think of that?
01:52:41.000 Well, I mean, I see this video here of an old friend, in more ways than one, that is with you at a bar.
01:52:49.000 Should we maybe show that?
01:52:50.000 What are you talking about?
01:52:52.000 Look at this.
01:52:54.000 Oh, that was the missing picture?
01:52:57.000 Yeah, another great Hawaiian shirt.
01:52:58.000 It's a vid.
01:52:59.000 Do we want to say hi to her?
01:53:02.000 Sure, what's she got to say?
01:53:04.000 Hey Stiggs, I just wanted you to know that the N.R.P.D.
01:53:07.000 are a bunch of fuckin' shitbags, right?
01:53:09.000 Yeah, they are.
01:53:10.000 They really are.
01:53:12.000 Horrible assholes.
01:53:13.000 Yeah, they are.
01:53:14.000 They truly are.
01:53:16.000 Worst cops maybe in the world.
01:53:17.000 Yeah.
01:53:18.000 Out of any division.
01:53:19.000 I told them they could never make it in Manhattan or the Bronx.
01:53:24.000 Yeah.
01:53:24.000 They're total assholes.
01:53:25.000 They're N.Y.P.D.
01:53:26.000 rejects.
01:53:27.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:53:28.000 And they're punks.
01:53:29.000 Punks.
01:53:31.000 That was me sending a video to a New Rochelle police officer who Sylvia wanted to know is a piece of shit despite the fact that the New Rochelle Police Department was at her house on an almost daily basis as her Puerto Rican husband used her as a punching bag.
01:53:49.000 Wow.
01:53:51.000 And then that pissed her off because he eventually got a restraining, oh no, the state instituted a restraining order against him so they couldn't be together.
01:53:58.000 And she's like, what the fuck are you doing?
01:54:00.000 Can't be with my husband anymore?
01:54:03.000 Well, he beat the shit out of you 32 times.
01:54:06.000 So... That's kinda why we're here.
01:54:11.000 To me, that sounds like a bunch of... Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
01:54:18.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
01:54:24.000 Let me touch it.
01:54:25.000 Huppity boo.
01:54:30.000 This first letter refers to my old pal Sarah Silverman Is this gonna be another Kids are not cool people saying Gavin lost his mind now.
01:54:44.000 He's a Nazi who used to be cool.
01:54:46.000 I
01:54:47.000 Dude, you know what?
01:54:48.000 Men invented feminism.
01:55:02.000 Men sat there and said to women, you should vote.
01:55:05.000 You should be able to vote.
01:55:06.000 They're like, what, really?
01:55:07.000 Yeah, yeah, get out there.
01:55:09.000 I don't know.
01:55:10.000 I mean, I've got so much to do here.
01:55:13.000 No, you want to vote.
01:55:15.000 All right, I guess, yeah, I want to vote.
01:55:17.000 Men and lesbians started feminism is my new theory I just made up right now.
01:55:22.000 I remember seeing this old Western where this woman gets up in the courtroom and she's like, you got another thing coming, smart mouth.
01:55:29.000 And she starts dominating the court, and I don't know, defending whoever needed defending.
01:55:33.000 She wasn't a lawyer, she just came from the gallows.
01:55:36.000 And started, and I, and she was, and the judge was like, Order!
01:55:39.000 Order!
01:55:39.000 Who is this lady?
01:55:40.000 And she was like, kicking ass and taking names, and everyone was like, What the fuck?
01:55:43.000 She's too amazing!
01:55:45.000 And I realized, this was written by a man.
01:55:48.000 Like, look up any feminist anthem.
01:55:49.000 I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar, Redneck Woman.
01:55:53.000 All of these songs about being a fucking kick-ass gal.
01:55:56.000 They're all written by men.
01:55:57.000 Men love kick-ass women.
01:56:00.000 I'm not a huge fan, but it's a male construct.
01:56:07.000 I can't see your face because you're behind the camera.
01:56:08.000 It's doing the lip thing that she always does.
01:56:11.000 Oh yeah, that's a problem with her, with this show, I should say, where people call in like, hi, I have a brain tumor, and then she's listening with her headphones, she's like, hmm.
01:56:20.000 Yikes.
01:56:24.000 Trace that they're just unhappy about, and it's your feminism ruining the world.
01:56:29.000 And I've kind of thought about why is it that somebody would, you know, potentially be
01:56:38.000 You know I have an old friend who became a kind of well-known anti-feminist and when I've talked to him and he was he was so mad at me
01:56:58.000 Um, that I was happy being alone, that I was happy being single.
01:57:02.000 He was so annoyed that his kids had to watch Wreck-It Ralph, where my character is a princess but decides to be a- Oh shit, I haven't seen this before.
01:57:11.000 She's talking about me.
01:57:12.000 Yeah.
01:57:14.000 President didn't- This is the problem with broads.
01:57:17.000 And Sarah too.
01:57:18.000 They're so agreeable.
01:57:20.000 God designed them that way.
01:57:22.000 So they become, what's his name, Giamatti Spidamini in Life is Beautiful where he's at the Holocaust and he's like, hey kids, like their job is to look at the bright side.
01:57:33.000 And it's very effective.
01:57:34.000 The man looks at the bad side and he's like, I gotta go fucking kill a woolly mammoth or we all die.
01:57:40.000 And then the woman is like, hey, at least we have rabbits here and we can get some small game.
01:57:44.000 Yay.
01:57:45.000 Come on, kids.
01:57:46.000 And it's a great dichotomy.
01:57:48.000 But I said to her, I go, Jimmy Kimmel should have married you.
01:57:51.000 You should had kids.
01:57:53.000 Her sister is this Israeli living in Israel with like 132 kids living in heaven.
01:58:00.000 And I was like, what the fuck happened with you?
01:58:03.000 And she's like, I'm the happiest I've ever been.
01:58:05.000 And the problem with this subject is you look it up and it's all like, single woman that are 43 are having the best time of their lives.
01:58:13.000 Yeah, I know, because you asked them and they said, I love this.
01:58:16.000 They don't love this.
01:58:17.000 They're miserable.
01:58:19.000 Talk to them later on.
01:58:23.000 But yes, this is all true.
01:58:25.000 He was just so put out.
01:58:27.000 By any progress reflected in life or art, I just think, why do you give a fuck?
01:58:34.000 Because my kids, now I'm arguing with her.
01:58:38.000 My kids are watching the movie.
01:58:39.000 You're giving them propaganda.
01:58:41.000 So, like, this didn't happen, but say my daughter was like, I love that princess.
01:58:46.000 Who's doing that voice?
01:58:47.000 This is awesome.
01:58:48.000 Oh, it's a chick who's just fucked a bunch of dudes and never had any kids.
01:58:51.000 Okay, that's my princess.
01:58:53.000 I want to be like that.
01:58:54.000 Like, you're a bad role model.
01:58:57.000 That affects me.
01:59:01.000 I want my daughter to be happily married with kids.
01:59:03.000 You know?
01:59:04.000 Like, live your life the way you want and I will do the same.
01:59:08.000 Stop.
01:59:08.000 Isn't that funny?
01:59:09.000 This is another problem.
01:59:11.000 When you have a family and you have kids, you have skin in the game.
01:59:15.000 It's ironic that her sister's in Israel because she's got some real fucking skin in the game.
01:59:20.000 That wall comes down, everyone dies.
01:59:22.000 They're getting fucking bombed on a regular basis.
01:59:25.000 And I don't mean drunk.
01:59:27.000 But to a lesser extent, here in America, we are being bombed.
01:59:32.000 And our culture is at stake.
01:59:34.000 We've got girls, this is probably before this was going on, but young lesbians getting their tits cut off.
01:59:41.000 And by the way, another reason I was so fucking mad at her is she was shrugging and being like,
01:59:45.000 Oh, whatever.
01:59:46.000 People disagree.
01:59:47.000 Oh, someone's mad at you.
01:59:48.000 I'm like, Sarah, my house is vandalized.
01:59:50.000 My car was vandalized.
01:59:51.000 Regular basis, people zeke aisle outside my home.
01:59:55.000 They want to hold a vigil after the synagogue shooting.
01:59:58.000 My children are totally ostracized.
02:00:00.000 You know, eating lunch alone.
02:00:02.000 My fucking wife's on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
02:00:04.000 Like, they terrorize my family.
02:00:07.000 So don't roll your eyes.
02:00:08.000 If it was like, people hate my comedy.
02:00:11.000 I would understand you trivializing my rage, but it's an entire familial attack.
02:00:18.000 So don't trivialize it or I'll get pissed off.
02:00:23.000 Freedom, but the truth is it really does not bother me at all.
02:00:28.000 That's true.
02:00:29.000 I mean, I'm sorry if it ruffles their feathers or they're uncomfortable with knowing that I exist in the world, but it's just not my problem.
02:00:39.000 You know, for some reason it really does not bother me.
02:00:44.000 It doesn't bother you because you have no stake in the game.
02:00:47.000 He or any of these people think of me, to be honest, as none of my business.
02:00:52.000 That's my line!
02:00:58.000 What people say behind my back is none of my business.
02:01:00.000 It's my line, Sarah.
02:01:02.000 But, you know, I don't want to hurt her.
02:01:06.000 I obviously am frustrated, because I was close to her for a while, and I wish, because I know she's a good person, and a loving person, and obviously a very funny person.
02:01:14.000 Look at the way she fucking treats her dogs, like she worships them.
02:01:17.000 So, I wish she had been a mom.
02:01:19.000 I wish she had stayed in a loving relationship.
02:01:22.000 I wish Kimmel would have proposed.
02:01:24.000 She's way hotter than the fucking chick he ended up with.
02:01:27.000 So, it's not like, fuck you, bitch.
02:01:30.000 You're not married.
02:01:31.000 It's like, ah, shit.
02:01:32.000 I wish you were married.
02:01:34.000 We want what's best for everybody.
02:01:35.000 That's what people don't get about the right.
02:01:37.000 They think we sit there going, fuck you, I wish I could kill you.
02:01:39.000 We go like, ah, that sucks.
02:01:40.000 Like the kids getting their tits cut off.
02:01:43.000 We're not like, fuck you, bitch.
02:01:45.000 We're like, oh no, what have you done?
02:01:49.000 At least wait!
02:01:50.000 When we see a 40-year-old in a wig with lipstick on a dude, we go, haha!
02:01:55.000 When we see them doing it to an 8-year-old, we go, that's dangerous.
02:01:58.000 What are you doing?
02:01:59.000 The 40-year-old drag queen never made us mad.
02:02:01.000 In fact, we would go to Cafe Cleopat in Montreal and laugh our heads off at them.
02:02:06.000 It was a major part of comedy.
02:02:09.000 Anyway.
02:02:10.000 Keep going with that?
02:02:11.000 You know, the thought that me living my own life affects their happiness feels so bizarre.
02:02:17.000 You know, but that's ego shit.
02:02:18.000 I, you know, and I hope that they figure that stuff out for themselves so they can experience some happiness in this life.
02:02:26.000 But again, really not my business and certainly not my problem.
02:02:30.000 Click on the link in my bio to subscribe or...
02:02:33.000 They just don't get it.
02:02:35.000 It's ironic because she's like, why do you give a shit about all this stuff?
02:02:39.000 Why do you think it hurts you?
02:02:40.000 I don't.
02:02:41.000 I think it hurts you.
02:02:42.000 And I think this mentality of, you know, cutting dicks off and rejecting traditionalism hurts society.
02:02:50.000 For example, next letter, perfect timing.
02:02:53.000 I didn't set this up.
02:02:55.000 MrBeastTrans.
02:02:56.000 Dude, this is enough to make you sick.
02:02:58.000 MrBeast's right-hand man, Chris Tyson, had a beautiful wife who he recently divorced to start hormone therapy.
02:03:04.000 If you scroll through his Instagram, you can see him changing in the last four months.
02:03:08.000 His poor kid will be ruined.
02:03:09.000 This guy has a newborn, and this is not my concept.
02:03:13.000 It's a baby monster who wrote in, but he said, yeah, what he's doing is he's absolving himself of his responsibility.
02:03:20.000 So it is overwhelming when you first have a baby, you don't get any sleep, and you're like, fuck, this is, I can't be a Sarah Silverman now, and just like.
02:03:28.000 Do a comedy, sleep in, smoke some weed, have a special, do nothing for four months, no one cares.
02:03:34.000 I gotta fucking be awake and on and shaping and making sure we got healthcare and there's a roof over our heads and I gotta make sure that we're not in a dangerous neighborhood and you're constantly thinking, are the pipes turned off for the winter?
02:03:46.000 Are they turned on for the summer?
02:03:47.000 Did we get new air filters for the air conditioning?
02:03:50.000 Is that all checked out?
02:03:52.000 Is the fuse box up to date?
02:03:54.000 That can be overwhelming if you're a pussy.
02:03:57.000 If you're a man, you go, all right boys, time to roll up our sleeves and get real.
02:04:01.000 That's what I wrote about in my book, Death of Cool.
02:04:03.000 It's no joke anymore.
02:04:05.000 It's time to get, and I look back after my pre-family, pre-kids days, and I don't have any disdain or regret.
02:04:14.000 I'm just like, that was just a silly joke.
02:04:16.000 A fun, awesome silly joke.
02:04:18.000 It's like the movie Animal House.
02:04:19.000 It was a ridiculous, wasted, fuck-fest of idiocy.
02:04:24.000 That I'm glad I did, by the way.
02:04:25.000 I'm not saying don't sow your wild oats.
02:04:28.000 But after I had kids, I went, oh shit, now this is life.
02:04:32.000 So this guy got overwhelmed by that and he divorced his wife with a newborn and is now a lady with no responsibilities who can do podcasts.
02:04:45.000 Look at this fucking clown.
02:04:48.000 And what bothers me about it, too, is there's no stigma.
02:04:51.000 Well, what do you care?
02:04:52.000 I don't know.
02:04:53.000 I care about the daughter he just abandoned.
02:04:55.000 Like, is it petty of me to care about a child that's been abandoned by some idiot who thinks he's a woman now?
02:05:03.000 Again, a random 40-year-old putting on lipstick and wearing a wig.
02:05:08.000 No one gives a shit.
02:05:09.000 Literally no one.
02:05:12.000 A guy young man with a newborn what the fuck are you doing?
02:05:15.000 He's oh here.
02:05:16.000 We go mr. Beast is just getting his whole fucking Franchise or whatever like he's holding a hostage.
02:05:23.000 I saw I never even thought of that He's fucking over his boss And he does not look happy if you could tell Chris didn't think about his wife his young son his friends from the channel or the brand Seems to be a recurring theme what a wildly selfish thing to do oh
02:05:39.000 Like, if you're a pervert, can't you just say, honey, becoming a dad is overwhelming?
02:05:46.000 He's my fucking friend.
02:05:47.000 That's spelled wrong.
02:05:48.000 And things are fine.
02:05:49.000 All this transphobia is starting to piss me off!
02:05:51.000 Meanwhile, they were all about transphobia, like, last year.
02:05:55.000 Making jokes about identifying as an attack helicopter.
02:05:59.000 Right?
02:06:00.000 Yep.
02:06:01.000 What an absolute moron.
02:06:02.000 He should act like an actual chick and be like, I need to take time away from this to work on myself.
02:06:07.000 And then that would be good.
02:06:09.000 But like, say you are a pervert and you want to wear like women's tights.
02:06:13.000 He's a pedo too.
02:06:13.000 Can't, can't you?
02:06:14.000 Uh oh.
02:06:16.000 Yeah.
02:06:16.000 And then he said some other shit about lolly, which is like age play stuff that they pulled from 2016.
02:06:21.000 Oh no.
02:06:23.000 Maybe it is goodies.
02:06:23.000 I don't know if I trust this guy though.
02:06:27.000 Someone wants to start, says we should start naming our dicks.
02:06:31.000 He's gonna go first.
02:06:32.000 His dick is now called Dylan Mulvaney, as in a vein, spelled vein.
02:06:37.000 That's not good because you can only see it in writing.
02:06:40.000 Mine's gonna be Dick Mulvaney, V-A-I-N, and it's gonna look in the mirror all the time.
02:06:46.000 My nickname for my dick is, uh, Python Eats Guatemalan Grandma While She Was Washing Dishes By The River.
02:06:54.000 Click link to watch full video.
02:06:57.000 My dick's gonna be click- it's gonna be dick bait.
02:07:00.000 My- my dick is called Jumbo Jet Spontaneously Has Piss Shoot Out of the Top of It.
02:07:06.000 My dick's gonna be named Xingqiu.
02:07:10.000 And it'll be squinty.
02:07:12.000 My- my dick's gonna be called Godzilla Introduces New Character.
02:07:19.000 I wish my dick was claymation, you know, and it moved all jaggedy.
02:07:23.000 My dick is gonna be called, City Field Rolls Up Entire Field Into One Gigantic Fucking Burrito.
02:07:31.000 They get worse as they go on.
02:07:35.000 I'm watching last night's show.
02:07:36.000 I'm five and a half months pregnant, you sick fucks.
02:07:40.000 Poor Matty, leave him alone.
02:07:41.000 25, 18, and I've retched eight times.
02:07:44.000 I feel his pain.
02:07:45.000 For those of you not subscribed, last night Matty was puking his guts out and we were making fun of him.
02:07:51.000 Ryan, I sent you some videos, texted you them, of how dudes react to barf.
02:07:59.000 Maybe women don't understand.
02:08:01.000 Obviously real barf concerns us, but we don't hold your hair back when you're barfing if you're a dude.
02:08:07.000 We rape you because it's funny.
02:08:11.000 That's a different video, but that's good too.
02:08:15.000 The most embarrassing trip to the vet possible.
02:08:21.000 Walk him away.
02:08:24.000 We're good.
02:08:26.000 There's no need to dwell.
02:08:29.000 He probably liked the smell too.
02:08:30.000 It was like, oh, someone left some fish.
02:08:33.000 But that's not what I wanted you to show.
02:08:35.000 What's the other one?
02:08:35.000 Yeah, this is how men react to another man in duress.
02:08:47.000 That's funny.
02:08:53.000 If an alien landed here and they said, what is men?
02:08:57.000 I would show them that video.
02:08:59.000 That's correct.
02:09:00.000 Hey Gavin, I was simply trying to tell people about your endorsement of Bud Light and I was placed in Facebook jail.
02:09:05.000 That's interesting.
02:09:06.000 So people have been telling me, I don't drink Bud privately, but I always make sure that when I'm photographed,
02:09:12.000 I'm wearing a Bud Light shirt.
02:09:13.000 I've got Budweiser there.
02:09:15.000 Bud is our beer.
02:09:16.000 It's behind Ryan.
02:09:17.000 If you turn to Ryan, you'll see it's next to his best friend, Printy.
02:09:23.000 I don't agree with any of his statements.
02:09:24.000 And people said, that's not going to work.
02:09:25.000 Fuck you.
02:09:26.000 Be a man.
02:09:27.000 Boycott it.
02:09:29.000 If it's not working, then why is it that when someone says Gavin McInnes says Bud Light Rocks, he's told by Facebook that that doesn't follow our community standards.
02:09:46.000 So you can't do things like create, invite, post, and comment in groups.
02:09:50.000 Hey, they didn't use an Oxford comma there.
02:09:52.000 Bad grammar, Facebook.
02:09:55.000 So, Facebook doesn't allow me to say I love Bud Light?
02:10:00.000 Doesn't that mean it's working?
02:10:05.000 Wait, what is he saying here?
02:10:08.000 Reminder that Bud Light is now endorsed by Gavin McInnes and the Proud Boys.
02:10:12.000 They don't seem to mind his other comments like, throw a grenade in there and we're gonna blow up Moscow.
02:10:19.000 They just came out with a... Bush, Anheuser-Busch just came out with a thing.
02:10:23.000 A statement.
02:10:25.000 We're not gay after all?
02:10:27.000 We're not gay after all.
02:10:32.000 He said that... You never intended that?
02:10:34.000 Really?
02:10:34.000 You didn't think of that?
02:10:35.000 This guy.
02:10:36.000 The former Marine Lieutenant.
02:10:39.000 Who was like a... Guys.
02:10:42.000 Listen.
02:10:45.000 I never wanted to be... Yeah well this goes back to the beginning of the show with this alarming incompetence.
02:10:51.000 Like stop hiring people based on things that don't include meritocracy.
02:10:55.000 You hired some random broad because you thought you had to get your numbers up and you didn't check to see how woke she was and she did that.
02:11:03.000 Dude, that is crazy how cringe that first image is.
02:11:07.000 You don't go to bars.
02:11:08.000 I go to bars.
02:11:09.000 Every bar, it's a major topic of discussion.
02:11:13.000 In fact, there's one not far from here.
02:11:16.000 It's crazy.
02:11:17.000 This gay dude ran a bar, and he had all the LGBT shit there, and they loved him, and he was an awesome guy, and he'd have fundraisers and all that shit.
02:11:27.000 Then he voted for Trump.
02:11:30.000 A gay even voted for Trump.
02:11:32.000 So they dumped his ass.
02:11:34.000 And then his bar was abandoned and dying.
02:11:36.000 The local police said, we'll make that our bar.
02:11:41.000 And now it's a cop bar and it's packed.
02:11:44.000 And he's killing... I can actually show you what he said here.
02:11:49.000 He sent a notice out to some friends and said... It's coming up.
02:11:59.000 We're no longer carrying Anheuser-Busch.
02:12:01.000 The ones that are here will stay here, but when they're gone, they're gone.
02:12:03.000 We're removing Bud, Bud Light, Kona.
02:12:05.000 I don't know what Kona is.
02:12:08.000 Stella Corona Michelob Ultra.
02:12:10.000 We are introducing Coors Banquet in Bottles and Kegs, which I hear is exactly like Bud.
02:12:16.000 I hear it's great.
02:12:17.000 I don't think I've tried it.
02:12:19.000 Miller High Life.
02:12:22.000 I don't like Miller Lite.
02:12:24.000 I might like Miller High Life in Bottles and Kegs and Yingling in Kegs, which is fantastic.
02:12:29.000 I love Yingling and it's America made.
02:12:32.000 Anyway, if you're a pariah, make sure you're photographed with this, but don't drink it.
02:12:37.000 Let's get to the final vid.
02:12:38.000 What a long ass episode.
02:12:40.000 Yes, of course.
02:12:41.000 The final vid, the video that we, I believe, Gavin, if I'm not wrong, we end the show on.
02:12:46.000 Yes.
02:12:47.000 And pontificate until we have.
02:13:02.000 Um, Maddie was vomiting all night last night.
02:13:05.000 We showed you some vomit earlier.
02:13:08.000 But real men don't puke.
02:13:10.000 Real men can sort of monitor what they're doing.
02:13:14.000 They can tell how high they are, how drunk they are, whether they've had too many Percocets.
02:13:19.000 If Maddie was tougher, then when the dentist said, you gotta take these, he would have went, nah man, I'll just suffer the pain, thanks.
02:13:26.000 I got an M&M Blast!
02:13:29.000 It's my favorite.
02:13:32.000 I got the M&M Blast.
02:13:36.000 These are my favorites.
02:13:37.000 These are my favorites.
02:13:39.000 Not this is my favorite.
02:13:40.000 And why is there a jump cut there?
02:13:43.000 You don't like the paws?
02:13:46.000 No.
02:13:47.000 Alright.
02:13:47.000 Anyway.
02:13:48.000 This is how real men drink beer.
02:13:50.000 And they don't fucking pussy around about it.
02:13:53.000 He's got three, what, Carlsbergs?
02:13:55.000 British guy?
02:13:56.000 This is what you should look up to as a man.
02:13:59.000 Matty.
02:13:59.000 The three point challenge.
02:14:01.000 You buy them, I drink them.
02:14:04.000 Here we go.
02:14:05.000 Three pints, no problem.
02:14:08.000 I was always jealous of those guys who could just slam a pint.
02:14:12.000 Like, it hurts my mouth after half a pint.
02:14:16.000 Burps normal, burps happen.
02:14:17.000 I don't know why we need this fucking reaction idiocy in the bottom left.
02:14:24.000 Okay, one burp per beer, perfectly reasonable.
02:14:28.000 And then you slam the third one and you're good to go.
02:14:31.000 Boom.
02:14:32.000 Then you get a good buzz after.
02:14:44.000 Why is Barf so funny?
02:14:46.000 I don't know.
02:14:46.000 Hey trans men, if you're becoming a man, like you're taking the hormones to become male, you better be ready to laugh at Barf, because that's basically all we do.
02:14:55.000 Have a great weekend guys.
02:14:56.000 I'll see you on Monday.
02:14:57.000 Try to stay off those screens.
02:14:58.000 If you got kids, spend a maximum amount of time with them.
02:15:02.000 I've always said, I stole this from Michelle Malkin, pretend you're in a time machine.
02:15:06.000 You got Empty Nest Syndrome, you're 16 and alone, and you missed when your kids were young.
02:15:11.000 Well, you just got in a time machine and woof!
02:15:13.000 You were zapped back to April of 2023, and now you get to hang out with them.
02:15:19.000 Most importantly, enjoy yourself.
02:15:20.000 Be yourself.
02:15:22.000 If that makes things uncomfortable at work, then get fired.
02:15:25.000 Get in trouble.
02:15:26.000 Be brave.
02:15:27.000 And never stop fighting.