This week on Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes, we talk about the Mets and some other cool stuff. We also talk about a band called Old Skull and a bunch of kids playing music that's not very good. And a new sponsor that pays for the show that's good for kids and good for grownups. Thanks to our sponsor, Sonoran! They make cool hats and other cool things, and they have a cool logo on a box that looks like a Zippo! And they have cool things that are good for babies, too! Get off my lawn, kids! If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts! Got a question or suggestion? Call us at (602) 461-2882-4137 and we'll get back to you on the next episode. Thanks again for listening and Happy Listening! -Gavin and Kevin Music: "Old Skull" by Old Skull - "Old Skull - "Good For Kids" by The Dukes - "I Don't Know" by Joe Pesci - "Don't Get Lost" by Sisyphus - "Sonicoran" by Sonoran - "The Boy Next Door" by Sonsoran - by The Man Who Can't See The Stars - "Wish I Wasn't Here" by Kidding Me (feat. by SONORORANORAN - "Mr. Sonoran" and much more! We hope you enjoy it! Thanks for listening to this episode of Get On My Lawn, Gavin and Kevin, we really really really appreciate it. We really appreciate you! XOXOXOXO! Thank you for listening, Gavin, Kevin, I really appreciate all the love and support us, love ya, bye! xoxo, bye, bye. Love ya, GAVY, Gavie, Caitie, P. & KEVIN & JACOB - EJ & JOSH & JUICY - P.AJ & RYANTHORO XO, M.A. - KEVY, SONoran, - THEY, R. & JOSEPH, JR & KAREN, PAUL, JR, JOSY, AND JAYE, AND AYO.
Transcript
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00:00:12.000Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
00:10:43.000That actually, you made me know less about this quest because now I'm thinking it's natural to like have an aversion to poo smells, right?
00:10:53.000God, nature, if you're around poo that's bad for you, you're gonna get an infection, you're gonna get sick, you're gonna get some sort of disease.
00:11:00.000So when a fart happens, you should go, oh no,
00:11:05.000And if you're on a bus, say, and there's an old man next to you and he farts, I don't think you'd find that funny.
00:11:44.000When I was a little kid, I remember my dad is from Scotland and I had some friends over and I think one of us had farted and my dad walked into the room we were in and he says, did you let off?
00:11:59.000And we, my friends had never heard that term let off and they laughed so hard like I was worried about them.
00:12:06.000You ever laugh so hard you try to grab air and bring it into your face because you think you're gonna die?
00:12:13.000You don't really laugh like that as a grown-up.
00:12:14.000Careful about putting air in your mouth after farts have been in the room though.
00:13:57.000All right, so, the 1800s, from 1800 to 1900, that hundred years was a very crazy time in the world.
00:14:05.000They had the Industrial Revolution, which I think was Scottish people.
00:14:08.000There was the steam engine, we had it for a while, but there was a guy in Leadhill, Scotland, John something, he figured out how to put it on its side and really make it mass-produce things.
00:14:16.000So now we went from making, like, one of these at a time to, like, and now zillions of them are being made in a factory.
00:14:26.000And when you have that, you have more money, more wealth, you start expanding, colonization, you're moving all over the place.
00:14:32.000And it was bigger in Europe and especially Britain, but America was also sort of on fire in those times.
00:14:40.000And we had a massive war in the mid-1800s, ended in 1865, I believe.
00:14:46.000It was about, it was the North and the South fighting.
00:14:51.000Something happens after wars where people want to explore stuff.
00:14:55.000Like after World War II, these guys came back from the war and they've been riding motorcycles in North Africa.
00:15:02.000They were badasses who've been shooting and getting shot at and...
00:15:06.000So they came back, and they were bored in the suburbs, and they said, uh, all right, let's start biker gangs.
00:15:10.000That's how you have Hell's Angels and all that stuff.
00:15:12.000They were guys from World War II who came back, and it's horrible, don't get me wrong, war is terrible, but it's also an intense experience where you come back, and you're an intense dude now.
00:15:23.000So anyway, around the time of the Civil War and after, they started going west.
00:15:28.000And it was uncharted territory, right?
00:15:32.000Like, you look at a house that's 1860 in New York City.
00:16:19.000So people, they had this sense of adventure, they just had their whole lives turned upside down with the war, and they were going west, and they were digging for gold, trying to get gold.
00:16:28.000So it was so crazy, people called it the Wild West.
00:17:02.000Still called the Wild West, but your one TV show changed that.
00:17:08.000Then, there was a rapper, you're gonna have to jump ahead, named Cool Modi, and he did a song called, that had the chorus, The Wild Wild West, that's 1-5, right?
00:19:35.000Bob, speaking of, this is the I Don't Know episode, speaking of not knowing why farts are funny, and they are funny, I can't understand how you like that song.
00:19:55.000I mean, listen, it popped up in my life at such a time where, you know, Burger King and they had the toys.
00:20:02.000So you like it like we like Jingle Bells?
00:27:42.000So if your favorite baseball player wins the World Series, they can put on the Jump Medic goggles, and they won't have to worry about spraying champagne in their eyes, because that gets a severe itchy poo.
00:27:50.000With this product, your parents will be instantly ready for any boo-boo or ouchies that might be in your future.
00:27:54.000If you fall off the monkey bars, play in the Poison Ivy, step on a Lego, or get a marble in your nose, you'll be A-OK in no time if your parents have the Jump Medic Pro.
00:28:02.000Its unique flat-lay design, which is what we're doing here,
00:28:05.000I know it doesn't look very good on that camera, but you should see it here.
00:28:08.000It's like a perfect T-shape and I can grab everything easy.
00:31:27.000Last night we stayed after work a little bit and Tim the state trooper he we do a show called cops and robber here and he said something like I got my motorcycle license or he did something that made me salute and he goes so that's taken care of and I went well good for you and I went like this as I went like that he farted
00:31:56.000And he goes, yeah, I was saving up the fart, but I was going to go, I got my license and I was going to fart, but I didn't know you were going to salute.
00:32:28.000Okay I want to show you this funny so stay tuned for that story and you can see how much of a liar I am when you see what happens when you see the true story.
00:35:14.000When you see something like this with a two-year-old, you have to realize that she's passed the point of no return and there's no discipline you can do to save this.
00:35:25.000And you have to be man enough to let that go and make a commitment to yourself for the next kid to be better at discipline so something like this doesn't happen.
00:35:57.000I'm really pissed off right now and I'm tempted to do something drastic, but what's important in these kind of situations is you sort of keep a grip on yourself and go, it's just a messy room, okay?
00:36:06.000And even though this kid has attitude and he wants to push me, I'm not going to take the bait.
00:36:12.000You have to understand with shit like this, like a messy room, what the kid's doing is they're pushing your boundaries to see where they stand.
00:36:18.000And it's important to keep your cool when that kind of thing happens and just say, I'm going to show you who's boss.
00:36:23.000And the best way to do that is a simple timeout.
00:36:27.000So we just put him down here and we establish, hey,
00:36:30.000Hey, you know how I feel about messy rooms?
00:36:33.000You know how I feel about respecting your father?
00:37:41.000Spanking a baby is one of the most complicated spankings you'll ever do in your life because of their sheer tininess.
00:37:48.000If I was to spank him with my full hand what would I do is I'd end up covering most of his body and that's patting him on the back which is the last thing you want to do when someone steals a car.
00:37:57.000So I'm going to show you how to spank a baby
00:38:01.000You'll notice the bum is only about the size of half of the palm of my hand.
00:38:07.000So, we take your index finger and your forefinger and try to reduce the spank to that.
00:38:14.000And it's gotta be winding blows, so he knows that stealing a car is something we don't tolerate in this family.
00:44:08.000I've gone through, um, for people that may know me and have been following me for years, um, when I started, you know, my online persona is the gay who, Oh, the gay who strayed.
00:44:17.000I don't know if we should mention that.
00:44:20.000Uh, yeah, I had very short hair and I'm, I've been an androgynous woman my whole life, my whole adult life.
00:45:07.000And I'm very glad that my parents never thought that, you know, maybe I should have been a boy.
00:45:13.000They never had that idea in their head.
00:45:16.000Because we grew up in a little bit different times than what's being taught to kids now.
00:45:22.000I never once thought that I wanted to be a boy.
00:45:25.000I never once thought as an adult that I wanted to be a man.
00:45:28.000I've always been very happy with who I am and I've embraced my uniqueness.
00:45:34.000Uh, and you know, I would like kids to know that, um, no matter how you are, whatever you like, there is no right or wrong way to be a boy or a girl.
00:45:44.000Um, you know, it's just your personality and that's a beautiful thing.
00:45:48.000So there's lots of different ways to be a girl.
00:45:51.000You can be a girl who likes sports, who wears jeans, who gets muddy, who wants to play with snakes.
00:46:04.000And if you're a boy that likes playing with Barbies more than getting dirty in the mud, that's okay too.
00:46:11.000It's okay to explore and whatever you're into, whatever you like doing, there's no right or wrong way to be a boy or a girl.
00:46:22.000You know, when my eldest boy was about six or seven, he was obsessed with Spider-Man.
00:46:27.000And if he could have gone in a magic machine, he would have had web slingers put here, he would have had maybe the entire Spider-Man uniform tattooed on his body so he didn't have to put it on, it would just always be there.
00:46:39.000And now he's not into Spider-Man at all, now he's into baseball.
00:46:43.000So good thing we didn't tattoo a Spider-Man costume on him when he was seven.
00:46:47.000Yeah, kids change their minds, their interests develop, they go through phases.
00:46:52.000You know, one year they may be really into Spider-Man, the next they want to be a pirate.
00:46:58.000You know, and that's just part of childhood and growing.
00:47:04.000Wouldn't it be terrible if a little kid wanted to be a pirate and they cut his hand off so he could have a claw, and then they cut his foot off so he could have a peg?
00:47:12.000He'd be like an authentic pirate, but then when he doesn't want to be a pirate anymore, he's in trouble.
00:47:19.000Yeah, when you grow out of that pirate phase, you wake up one day and you're like, oh my gosh, I'm missing my hand.
00:49:11.000I'm kind of... I'm not on familiar territory.
00:49:14.000Let's go to the third thing I want to talk about, which is how to make friends.
00:49:20.000Okay, it's different for different ages, it's different for boys and girls, but let's do like, you're at a new school, you're six, maybe seven, you're a boy.
00:49:56.000I did this as an adult once I took his advice We were going to a baseball game and this guy had a cool truck from you know 1986 or something an old cool vintage truck and it was small.
00:50:09.000It's like a mini Toyota 1975 thing 85 and I said wow, I love your truck and he loves it, too Obviously if you have a truck from and I wasn't lying
00:50:19.000But obviously if you have a truck from a long time ago, it's something that's important to you, it takes time to maintain, you don't just have an 85 truck for no reason.
00:50:26.000And we bonded on that, we talked about the truck, now we're talking, and we became pals!
00:50:32.000Another piece of advice I would have for boys is choose a team.
00:50:37.000Even if you're not even that into baseball, say the Yankees, say the Mets.
00:52:34.000I gotta introduce that that there's many many ways to be a girl But there are certain things you can tell generally speaking with girls and boys So, uh My brain just fell apart.
00:52:48.000Yeah, so you get in there what's going on?
00:52:50.000Well, as somebody whose brain fell apart and their eye lifted about 2.7 inches, I can relate.
00:52:58.000And it was tough for me to make friends, too.
00:53:44.000If you're not a sports guy, if you're more of a funny guy, trust me, eventually these things even out and the other funny guys will end up like laughing at your jokes and you'll end up in the funny crew.
00:55:19.000You can have people come close to you, but be wary of everyone around you and slowly build friendships and loyalties and be, have your back on a swivel.
00:59:26.000So let me just show you what the West is considered.
00:59:30.000And when I say the West, you think of free... People sometimes say that it's racist to think the West is the best, but that's weird because the West is all about not judging people by how they look.
00:59:42.000It says, you come here, you work hard, you respect Christianity.
00:59:46.000You don't have to be Christian, but you have to respect Christianity.
01:00:05.000There's going to be fun little exceptions like, I don't know, maybe in the Kunlun Mountains, there's a little village that's kind of Western, but we're speaking generally here.
01:07:38.000This is pretty much the best country in the world.
01:07:41.000All Western countries are pretty great, but this place is awesome, although it's having a rocky road.
01:07:47.000And again, I'll just end with, even though the West is the best, when you meet non-Western kids, you don't go, you suck, your country sucks.
01:08:54.000You know, people get so sensitive about opinions, and, uh, it's just an opinion.
01:09:02.000And if I'm wrong and say communism is awesome and China is the best place to live and they didn't kill 80 million people, they did, then I want to hear about it.
01:09:12.000I'll be stunned that my 53 years on earth have come to the wrong conclusion, but I've been wrong about stuff.
01:09:20.000You've been wrong about a lot of things, actually.
01:11:39.000Well, I don't either, so don't worry about it.
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01:13:38.000And not only due to Purpleworks Nutrition, but also the fact that I do mathematics, I learn my times tables, and I listen to my parents, and I never stayed... I always stayed in school, but I never did any sort of chemicals that are bad for you.
01:13:55.000But Purpleworks is good, but then there's also bead chemicals, and I never did those.
01:14:00.000All right, you can stop talking now, thank you.
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01:17:30.000The windows are tinted, so we had an actual guy driving, and then I opened the door, we do a hard cut, and then I put the baby on the seat.
01:17:40.000He had to have braces for seven years.
01:17:43.000I think that soother was bad for his teeth.
01:19:08.000We won't give up on her walking out of the hospital, but we're not giving up on her walking today, or this week, or at least before what the doctors say.
01:19:16.000After she was born, the doctors said she wouldn't walk for at least a year.
01:19:20.000I tried to get more information out of them, but they shrugged their shoulders and walked off like it wasn't worth discussing.
01:19:25.000This was common with everyone we spoke to in the medical community.
01:19:29.000The general consensus was, this is normal.
01:19:31.000Get back to us if she's not walking in a year and a half.
01:19:52.000I really feel like this pessimism of this hospital saying it's going to be a year is like almost anti-miracle.
01:21:43.000So I've been putting these up all over the neighborhood, all over New York, hoping that people will start saying, yeah, that is kind of weird, you know?
01:22:51.000I don't think that new parents should have to write off a year of their lives just because the medical community says that someone, a human being, isn't ready to roll right when they come out the gate.
01:23:03.000And I think that within the next five years, you will see babies that'll be like horses, that'll be like elephants, that'll be like other important mammals.
01:23:10.000They can just come out and go for it, you know?
01:25:28.000If someone was born with a problem like they're deaf and they have a cochlear implant, that's a little like computer that you have drilled into your skull and it goes in your ear and you can basically hear as well as us.
01:25:40.000It's a little tinny, but if you're to make fun of someone with that, that's just lame.
01:26:05.000Like one time, when I was 17, I shaved all my hair, but I left the bangs coming down.
01:26:11.000And when I showed up at school the next day, my friends Steve and Eric were laughing so hard that they had to lie down in the hallway because I looked so stupid.
01:26:20.000And it was very embarrassing, but it was also super funny.
01:26:25.000And I think the way they treat bullies now like I knew of this guy I think he used a bad word in school, and he may have like shoved a teacher.
01:26:34.000It's bad behavior, but They sent him away to like a camp this I think it's called wilderness and it's this it's for really really bad kids like kids who use drugs or something and
01:26:48.000Nah, I used to get wedgies all the time back when I was in school.
01:27:04.000You know, I felt bad about it now, but there was this kid that used to have these weird cheeks named Bobby, Bobby Ball cheeks we would call them.
01:27:13.000And I would push him in the locker, I would hide him in there for hours.
01:27:17.000Did you ever get bullied for having weird hairs that grow out of the back of your head?
01:28:38.000My generation, when I was a kid, the most common story was some guy was bullying a guy, shoving him around, then they got into a huge fist fight, and then they became best friends.
01:28:48.000I could have put this in the How to Make Friends section.
01:30:10.000Yeah, that's pretty... I could sort of... no offense, but I could see how someone would make the mistake of bullying what nature... bullying you for what nature did.
01:30:20.000Talking out of two sides of your mouth, McGuinness.
01:30:22.000First you say be nice to the kid with the weird cheeks.
01:30:25.000You shouldn't be bullied for their cheeks, that's just the way they were made.
01:30:30.000But at the same time, I would be forgiving of someone who accidentally made the mistake of mocking your face.
01:30:40.000I wouldn't send you to a wilderness camp, let me put it that way.
01:31:56.000Sitting at a desk all day is not normal.
01:31:58.000I can understand you want to be... You want to be crazy and fight.
01:32:06.000You know, if you did that to a dog and you kept it in a cage for six hours a day, it would probably start getting like... You would want to fight other dogs.
01:33:49.000And this isn't just for, well, I'll get to that in the trust your instincts, but I want to give you some examples of sometimes where you should say no and get out of that situation.
01:36:03.000Here, I wanna show you a whole sort of montage of different... I got like one, two, three, four... I know this is a gross subject, but we gotta get it going.
01:40:54.000Okay, we're gonna do... I want to play Street Fighter with you, but I just want to get this trust your instincts and mom and dad are the boss out of the way.
01:41:57.000That's your body saying yeah, you're not good enough for jumping to make this I don't think this is gonna work Sometimes people trust their instincts Then they don't want to hang out with me though
01:42:13.000Or say you're at a concert or something, you're a little older, maybe you're 13, you're there with your friends and stuff, and you start feeling like it's getting kind of crowded in here, and you feel your shoulders being pushed in, and your body's going, uh, this is not good, I'm in trouble, get the hell out of there!
01:42:34.000It's you're about to be scrunched to death, not to death, probably, although that has happened.
01:42:39.000But I just feel like we keep being told by sometimes teachers and other people like this is the right way to do things.
01:42:46.000And if you're uncomfortable with it, then you're wrong.
01:45:19.000Now, I said that if a grown-up tells you that they have a secret and you're going to keep a secret with a grown-up that mom and dad can't know about, that's very dangerous.
01:51:34.000My cartoons when I was a kid are bad because they didn't seem they didn't have this cool technology to make you know The animation that good and modern cartoons are bad both because they're lazy and because they're woke these cartoons I'm giving you are not woke
01:53:04.000Another excellent cartoon is Sanjay and Craig.
01:53:07.000My favorite episode, of course, is Unbarfable, where they find out that their friend has never barfed, and they start coming up with all these gross things to make him barf.
01:53:16.000This is about a guy whose best friend is a talking snake, but, you know, people would be freaked out if they saw a talking snake, so he usually disguises himself in public with, like,
01:53:25.000A hat and a shirt and no one seems to notice that Sanjay's friend has no arms.
01:56:43.000And again, all of these are- it was a strange- I'm telling you, 2015, around that time, was the best cartoons have ever been, and ever will be.
01:56:54.000Go to the Cartoon Network now, and pretty much everything there blows chunks.
01:56:58.000Same with Disney, I don't know what happened to cartoons- well actually, it's a very long story, but...
01:57:05.000For some reason this is when cartoons were at their freest and most perfect.
01:57:12.000I didn't put on the list that pancake dude Flapjack something he's a he was a sailor a captain guy on a boat shoot Captain Flapjack or something like that
01:57:54.000Yeah, so those are the best cartoons in the world.
01:58:06.000I'm trying to find that fart problem is we hung out for Three hours, I gotta sit through relive a three-hour conversation just to find a toot said no one ever The kids say that we might if I find it I'll stick it at the very very end of the show or something
01:58:31.000So yeah, what a weird thing for there to be this.
01:58:35.000I think what it was, was the, the guy who ran Cartoon Network back then saw these kids drawing their faces off, like just, it was just partying, not partying, but you know, hanging out, staying late, laughing with each other.
01:58:51.000And he just thought, these guys seem to know what they're doing.
02:00:29.000I know for school, you've got to start at the beginning, and if you zone out for a paragraph, then you've got to go back and re-read it because you're doing a book report.
02:00:46.000Americans talk about their jobs and you just open it to any page and it could be like a surgeon talking about what he does every day or it could be a janitor or something.
02:00:54.000It kind of helps you figure out what you want to do with your life.
02:00:58.000Here's a good book for your mom and dad to read.
02:01:01.000It's called Free Range Kids and it's about how important it is to let kids get in trouble.
02:03:12.000You know how, when you look at the world, you go, the only time that countries suck is when one guy thinks he can tell another guy what to do?
02:03:19.000That's what this guy discovered in American history.
02:03:21.000It's the true and untold stories of the making of America.
02:03:24.000And he learns, when he's doing this research, that every time America failed, it was because someone was
02:06:14.000Sure, but before we do, I'd like to announce to everybody, wearing a mask inside, although people think it's lame, it could possibly... Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
02:06:26.000Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
02:06:39.000Another type of show we do and I forgot that those were the lyrics all right Ry guy The the kid ones have a green flag Fun for the show this one's kind of grown up.
02:06:52.000This is more like a 14 15 year old, but we'll throw it in here
02:06:57.000Hey Gavin, seeing as you're doing a kid's show today, I'd like to say that I'm a young baby monster, a zoomer to be precise, writing to seek guidance on how to approach a girl in my history class whom I find attractive, don't use the word whom guys, it's pretentious, both physically and personality-wise.
02:07:12.000For the past four years, I've attended an all-boys school and have next to zero female contacts, making it challenging for me to pursue a conversation with her.
02:07:19.000She's just in the row behind me and I've never spoken to her for that long, making it difficult to initiate any interaction.
02:07:24.000I'd like to talk to her and become friends.
02:09:21.000Anyway, big yellow M&M guy with a headband, like Charlie Sheen in Platoon, firing AR shells, firing an AR, shells being spit out from the discharge, and the background, it says, M&M Blast!
02:09:32.000Written in like a Batman-esque, pausing kind of font.
02:10:00.000I've been an avid fan for a long time.
02:10:02.000Seven years ago I was working in theater full time.
02:10:06.000When I started watching you and the comedian-turned-farmer-who-shall-not-be-named, I assume he means Owen Benjamin, your campaigns venerating, that means respecting the tradesmen, and your points about manning up and getting married and being a high-value male really struck me.
02:10:20.000In 2018, I left my theater job, dropped out of school as an English major, I was an English major, I wish I had dropped out, and I sought a trade.
02:10:28.000I ended up in the audiovisual and automation field.
02:11:23.000And I see a lot of these, no offense, female comedians, where they come out and they spend like two years coming up with a four minute routine.
02:11:33.000And then the media goes nuts because they're like, women, yay, they're stand-up comedians now.
02:11:53.000Any job, comedian, artist, electrician, plumber, it takes hundreds of hours of not even thinking about where this is going and just like, and boys tend to, men tend to be better at that than girls.
02:12:49.000Have faith, don't worry, we're gonna get there.
02:12:54.000It was a guy, it's a fan of the show and what he does is he watches the show first and then he shows his kids clips where I'm not being offensive.
02:14:09.000That's what we were talking about earlier.
02:14:10.000I hope you still plan on doing a kid-friendly show on Friday.
02:14:33.000She always asked me to call in on Thursday nights when I get home from work, but talking to a ten-year-old girl doesn't jive with the Cops and Robbers show.
02:14:39.000If you could give Lila, Levi, and Max a shout-out, they would be stoked.
02:14:46.000Have you considered making t-shirts in kids sizes?
02:17:22.000Earlier I was talking about the salad days and how we glorify our childhood and say yours is nothing like ours because we used to ride, we used to do jumps on our bikes.
02:17:31.000Yeah, you guys get to go to water parks like on a regular basis.
02:17:36.000But here is, here's someone from my generation explaining to someone who's much younger why we used to drink water from the garden hose.
02:17:46.000First of all, why is everyone drinking water out of a garden hose?
02:18:54.000So, when we needed nourishment and refreshments outside, the garden hose was the oven on the avenue, and they would be a child who would actually knock on the door and request to enter the home for, if they did, they were stuck there for the rest of the day, maybe the week.
02:19:08.000God knows how long it would be again until we saw their faces, returning to the pile of bikes and enjoying the times on the outside.
02:19:15.000Yes, it was different, of course, but those times were good indeed.
02:19:28.000When you think your childhood was better or your scene or the thing you did when you were young is better than everyone else's, you say those were the salad days.
02:20:17.000Well actually when you're a baby it's the appetizer days and then when you're a little bit older and you can ride a bike that's the salad days.
02:21:46.000If you're on there and you're playing, whatever, Fortnite or some other game and you're with a bunch of guys on your headset, that's still playing.
02:21:53.000And I'm not going to deny that it's fun, but nothing beats getting out there and really touching grass, as they say.
02:22:01.000And here's a great example of this little girl fishing with her dad.