Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes


S4E255 - IDIOCRACY (Part 1)


Summary

In this episode of Get Off My Lawn, Gavin and Ryan talk about the return of Johnny Apples, the new Purpleworks pre-workout product, and Ryan gets sunburned by a guy who thinks he looks like an Asian-Latino mix. Plus, Gavin tries to figure out why he's so red. Subscribe to our new podcast, "Get On My Lawn", where you get 20% off your first month with code GAVIN20 at checkout. Get on My Lawn is a weekly podcast hosted by Gavin McInnes, where we talk about all things GIN, fitness, food, and pop culture. Get on my lawn with me, Gavin! Subscribe, Like, and Share to stay up to date with what's going on in the world of GVN. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts! Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and also consider leaving us a five star rating and review our podcast on iTunes. Thanks for listening and sharing the podcast with your fellow podcaster friends! Timestamps: 5:00 - What's your favorite thing you ve been consuming? 6:30 - How did you feel about the episode? 7:00 | What was your favorite part of the episode so far? 8:15 - What do you think of it? 9:00 10:30 | What's the best part about it? What would you want to hear from me? 11:00 -- What are you'd like to see me talk about it in the next episode of the podcast? 12: What s your biggest takeaway from this week? 13: What are your thoughts on it's going to be next? 15:30 -- What s the best thing you re listening to right now? 16:40 -- What's a good thing you're looking forward to hearing from me right off your day off? 17:40 - How do you're going to do for the next one? 18:15 -- How do I have a chance to start a new episode of Gav's next episode or something else? 19: What kind of thing? 21:40 | What s a day off the most important thing you d have you're most excited about? 22:20 -- How would you like to hear me off my lawn? 25:00 // 20:30 27:15 26:40


Transcript

00:00:08.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
00:01:04.000 Just more surf goth from Australia.
00:01:07.000 When will they stop churning out that surf goth?
00:01:12.000 Guys in black sweaters and tight black pants, pointy shoes, riding the waves, getting some tasty brews.
00:01:23.000 I don't know what is going on with Australia, why their music is so good.
00:01:27.000 With such incredible variety too.
00:01:30.000 There's no Australia sound.
00:01:32.000 There's like great goth, pop, rock, punk.
00:01:37.000 I'm in awe.
00:01:38.000 I don't know what God is up to.
00:01:40.000 Is he trying to get us to move there?
00:01:42.000 Okay, I understand their immigration is very strict.
00:01:46.000 Welcome to the free live show as I warned last week you will not be getting an entire episode I've had enough of you freeloaders, so we're gonna cut this about half an hour in right guy.
00:01:57.000 Oh, yeah
00:02:01.000 See you later.
00:02:04.000 But before we get started, oh Johnny Apples CBD is back.
00:02:09.000 That's exciting.
00:02:10.000 It is.
00:02:15.000 I think you're supposed to read the Johnny Apples seed as your Japanese guy.
00:02:21.000 Maybe you could just join me.
00:02:23.000 So I'll read the copy for it and then you could just interject with that guy.
00:02:26.000 Yes.
00:02:26.000 What's his name again?
00:02:29.000 Ching Chong.
00:02:30.000 But he's Japanese.
00:02:32.000 So it's Jin... Jin Jono.
00:02:40.000 Okay.
00:02:41.000 The great thing about Purple Works... This is my pre-workout.
00:02:47.000 I was not working out this week.
00:02:48.000 I took a week off to indulge myself.
00:02:50.000 I don't recommend it.
00:02:52.000 No, that's good to do.
00:02:53.000 Really?
00:02:54.000 Yeah.
00:02:54.000 I think, I'm worried that this is why I'm red.
00:02:57.000 Oh, maybe.
00:02:58.000 But you said you like that I'm, you said I look good.
00:03:01.000 Go to 1-4.
00:03:02.000 This is Ryan, I knew I had to record this, because he was giving me a compliment about how red I am, and I thought, I need this on record.
00:03:10.000 Yeah.
00:03:11.000 Alright, well, here it is.
00:03:15.000 Hey, um, is that a sunburn on your face, or are you just always this hot?
00:03:23.000 So thank you for that, Ryan.
00:03:24.000 You're welcome.
00:03:25.000 And after I said that, too, he was so happy, because I said, dude, that made me feel really good, that compliment you gave me about my sunburn, my red face.
00:03:34.000 And I don't compliment Ryan very much, but afterwards, he's been pumped ever since.
00:03:40.000 Check him out.
00:03:40.000 This is after I said, thanks, dude, you're a good friend.
00:03:43.000 Look how good he feels.
00:03:48.000 Good song.
00:03:53.000 Is that guy serious?
00:03:54.000 Yes he is.
00:03:58.000 What is that guy?
00:03:59.000 Uh, he looks like an Asian-Latino mix.
00:04:04.000 Huh.
00:04:04.000 Which I resent.
00:04:05.000 Like you.
00:04:05.000 Yes.
00:04:06.000 Speaking of Asian-Latino mixes, check out 1-1.
00:04:10.000 This is, uh, I don't think this is Ryan actually.
00:04:13.000 This is a different guy.
00:04:14.000 Are we still in the ad?
00:04:17.000 Not yet, I guess.
00:04:18.000 Have you seen this one yet?
00:04:19.000 I haven't.
00:04:20.000 It might be a drop.
00:04:22.000 ...statement, now would you like to say something, make a message to our viewers?
00:04:26.000 All my fellow Filipinos, now this is my side.
00:04:29.000 Listen, look, and listen, and learn.
00:04:42.000 Listen, look, and listen, and learn.
00:04:48.000 Alright, that's enough.
00:04:52.000 The great thing about Purpleworks is they put in a reasonable amount of ingredients.
00:04:57.000 300-500% of your daily value instead of other products that have literally 10,000%.
00:05:01.000 You just pee it out.
00:05:04.000 They have high quality creatine, beta alanine, vitamins, caffeine, green tea extract.
00:05:09.000 Purpleworks is manufactured in an FDA registered facility with no artificial flavors or dyes.
00:05:14.000 Purpleworks now has a line of fine Italian coffee.
00:05:17.000 Ryan, please bring up the coffees on their website.
00:05:19.000 They've got the organic whole bean 2.2 pound bag.
00:05:23.000 They've got instant coffee and two 8 point ounce tins of fresh ground Italian coffee.
00:05:29.000 Made in Italy.
00:05:30.000 We haven't tried it yet, but we've heard great things.
00:05:32.000 There's a reason Purpleworks has been advertising on Get Off My Lawn for several months now.
00:05:36.000 They're selling a lot of pre-workout and people are loving it.
00:05:39.000 Pre-workout is a bit of a niche product.
00:05:41.000 So if you've been wanting to support this small business, but you aren't a big gym or sports person, here's your chance.
00:05:46.000 Everyone buys coffee.
00:05:47.000 So get it from Purpleworks.
00:05:49.000 It's cool to see them introduce new products.
00:05:50.000 I hear they have a multivitamin coming soon.
00:05:53.000 Largely thanks to all of you who have been supporting them.
00:05:55.000 Go to purpleworksnutrition.com, enter promo code GAVIN for 15% off.
00:06:02.000 I have a monolithic presentation to do today.
00:06:06.000 Very monolithic presentation.
00:06:08.000 It's a very difficult monolithic presentation.
00:06:11.000 And it's 20 ways idiocracy has come true.
00:06:16.000 So we're going to be getting to that.
00:06:20.000 Here's a little taste though of the idiocracy we're living in.
00:06:24.000 That, that airhead chick who got the Island Boys tattooed on her neck.
00:06:29.000 She's having it removed.
00:06:31.000 I think it was, I think it was on her neck for about a week.
00:06:35.000 She also has Frank written across her tit, but he slapped her around and that's a deal breaker.
00:06:45.000 I hear it kills to get tattoos removed.
00:06:49.000 Although now, the thing about pills like Xanax and everything, it's taken away this sort of bad boy vibe that you used to get from tattoos.
00:06:59.000 Like I got my first tattoo in 1988 and everyone who saw it would go, did it hurt?
00:07:04.000 That was the question.
00:07:06.000 And now there's numbing creams and all kinds of stuff.
00:07:09.000 Tattoo your face, tattoo your neck.
00:07:12.000 Get your neck tattoo removed.
00:07:13.000 It's never gonna be removed, by the way.
00:07:16.000 It just looks shitty and weird.
00:07:17.000 It just looks very, very light.
00:07:19.000 Which, now, if it's really, really light, it looks like you've had it for 40 years.
00:07:23.000 So now you look old.
00:07:25.000 Old and stupid.
00:07:27.000 That's young and stupid.
00:07:28.000 Look how dumb that guy is.
00:07:31.000 Hey Island Boy, what's 136 plus 137?
00:07:33.000 Hey Island Boy, name three continents.
00:07:43.000 I was sitting in county jail for three days and stuff like that.
00:07:46.000 24 hours lockdown.
00:07:48.000 But I'm out, man.
00:07:49.000 I'm free.
00:07:51.000 Stop playing.
00:07:51.000 Yes, sir.
00:07:53.000 I know I look fucked up right now.
00:07:54.000 I was sitting in county jail for three days and stuff like that.
00:07:58.000 24 hours lockdown.
00:08:00.000 What is stuff like that?
00:08:02.000 Stuff like going to jail, getting arrested.
00:08:05.000 That's a video they made for the song.
00:08:07.000 It takes a long time to get going.
00:08:10.000 They're on some random island.
00:08:12.000 No, dude, when you're an island boy, what it means is you're from the Caribbean.
00:08:15.000 It doesn't mean you literally live on a tiny island off the coast of Tampa.
00:08:20.000 Or maybe they are an island, comma, boy.
00:08:24.000 What?
00:08:27.000 I'm from the islands.
00:08:28.000 Oh, where?
00:08:28.000 Like Trinidad and Tobago?
00:08:30.000 No, no, no.
00:08:30.000 Some random little piece of dirt that's near my dad's house in Tampa.
00:08:34.000 Near the Keys.
00:08:39.000 This is worse than idiocracy.
00:08:42.000 In idiocracy, they have normal hair and no facial tattoos.
00:08:46.000 I wish that guy, the black guy on the phone, was just scrolling through Instagram.
00:08:49.000 And they're like, yo, you got it?
00:08:51.000 And he's like, got what?
00:08:52.000 I was looking at Teletubbies.
00:08:56.000 Go to the song.
00:08:57.000 I gotta say, they did stick pretty true to the original.
00:09:03.000 Puerto Ricans.
00:09:07.000 Oh, see, that's the first time I've known their ethnicity.
00:09:11.000 Or is that Cuba?
00:09:12.000 Yeah I think they're Cuban.
00:09:18.000 Doesn't that sound blown out?
00:09:20.000 Yeah.
00:09:22.000 This is the second time I've heard that.
00:09:23.000 Is that a thing the kids do now?
00:09:25.000 There are remixes that are like bass boosted and they're meant to sound like blown up.
00:09:30.000 But I don't think so.
00:09:31.000 I've heard the real version of the song.
00:09:34.000 Cause I've played it on my computer and it was all blown out like that.
00:09:39.000 Anyway.
00:09:39.000 No, this is the... No, this is not blown out.
00:09:44.000 Did these fucking idiots... They blew out their own... Yo, turn it up.
00:09:48.000 It's not loud enough.
00:09:49.000 And they blew it out for the fucking... For the fucking... They blew out the recording in the studio.
00:09:58.000 Yeah, I want, like, when the club, like, loud.
00:10:00.000 I like it when, like, the speaker breaks.
00:10:03.000 Like distortion.
00:10:04.000 Distortin'.
00:10:06.000 Here's another dummy.
00:10:08.000 In Springfield, Colorado, this guy.
00:10:10.000 He gets pulled over for speeding.
00:10:13.000 And he switches places with... Scooby-Doo.
00:10:18.000 A driver who was pulled over for speeding tried to switch places with his dog to avoid arrest, police in Colorado said.
00:10:24.000 An officer watched him maneuvering inside the car before he got out on the passenger side on Saturday night.
00:10:29.000 And his dog was sitting in the fuckin' driver's seat.
00:10:32.000 You let that guy go, and you're like, we're gonna get you a taxi, dude.
00:10:35.000 That's funny.
00:10:36.000 I got some good news and some bad news.
00:10:39.000 You're off the hook, but your dog is going to jail.
00:10:43.000 He should have played along like that and been like, wow.
00:10:46.000 I can't believe this is working.
00:10:47.000 I can't believe it worked.
00:10:50.000 What's your dog's name, sir?
00:10:51.000 Eddie.
00:10:52.000 Eddie, can you breathe into this?
00:10:55.000 That would be funny.
00:10:58.000 Here's a slightly more serious story.
00:11:01.000 Remember this nurse who was crying about her bike?
00:11:05.000 And again, we are a very pro-Karen company here at Censored.TV.
00:11:11.000 And the Karens are almost always right.
00:11:13.000 Even Amy Cooper in Central Park, she was right.
00:11:16.000 He was threatening her dog.
00:11:18.000 But America has a black failure, white guilt problem.
00:11:22.000 And they see videos of blacks behaving badly and it drives them nuts.
00:11:26.000 They hate the truth of it.
00:11:28.000 They hate that black crime is a major problem in this country.
00:11:31.000 No, it's just crime.
00:11:33.000 It's just poor people doing crimes.
00:11:35.000 Well, there's a disproportionate number of African-American people of color in the crime world.
00:11:40.000 Yeah, that's because cops are racist.
00:11:42.000 Yeah, I don't think that's the case.
00:11:45.000 We saw a cop last night who would rather jump on a moving car than accidentally shoot a black person or shoot a black person who deserved it.
00:11:53.000 So the interesting thing about this story, this is 1-5 now, is the enthusiasm
00:12:00.000 That everyone had when this woman was caught being a Karen.
00:12:07.000 There was one news source that compared her to the woman who got Emmett Till lynched.
00:12:13.000 And for the record, that story isn't how it sounds.
00:12:17.000 AIU did a great job on the side of explaining that it was five people, two black guys, three white guys.
00:12:24.000 He did sexually assault her.
00:12:26.000 And the movie is lying to you.
00:12:28.000 All of these innocent cherub little wonderful creatures like Mike Brown are not who they're cracked up to be.
00:12:37.000 They compared her to that woman saying that she's gonna get a guy lynched.
00:12:41.000 I think she called the cops.
00:12:44.000 A fundraiser has raised $950.
00:12:47.000 They completely destroyed this woman.
00:12:49.000 They doxed her location, her home.
00:12:51.000 Her and her husband had to leave.
00:12:52.000 She's six months pregnant.
00:12:54.000 She's working at a hospital.
00:12:56.000 And we now realize, we now learn that it was her bike.
00:13:02.000 So the takeaway from this, as far as I'm concerned, is this bizarre, burning desire we have to attack Karens and use them as proof that America's racist and everything bad you see about blacks is our fault.
00:13:18.000 Specifically, white women's fault.
00:13:21.000 White women are the new shit pile in American culture.
00:13:25.000 Go down.
00:13:29.000 That's the picture they use on their GoFundMe.
00:13:32.000 There's the evidence.
00:13:33.000 You see the bike number.
00:13:34.000 You see the literal receipt.
00:13:36.000 And in the video you see that same bike number.
00:13:42.000 And they're really cruel to her.
00:13:45.000 See if the video is there.
00:13:48.000 Help!
00:13:49.000 Help me!
00:13:50.000 Please help me!
00:13:52.000 It's not your bike!
00:13:53.000 It's not your bike!
00:13:53.000 Please help me!
00:13:54.000 It's not your bike!
00:13:55.000 Please help me!
00:13:56.000 Help!
00:13:58.000 So, either these guys are retarded and they don't realize that they got the wrong bike, which I doubt, or they, oh she got fired by the way, or they know that this is the perception in America and they can play the victim and they will win.
00:14:15.000 And she knows she's being recorded, so she's probably at least subliminally aware that her life's about to be flushed down the toilet.
00:14:25.000 She's a white supremacist.
00:14:27.000 Of course.
00:14:29.000 Gives the basis to suspect her of being a white supremacist.
00:14:31.000 He always says that.
00:14:32.000 Suspected white supremacist.
00:14:36.000 He's great.
00:14:38.000 He's one of the things I miss the most about being off Twitter.
00:14:41.000 He's Camacho.
00:14:42.000 He's President Camacho.
00:14:52.000 Anyway, she's totally innocent.
00:14:54.000 But what is this burning desire?
00:14:56.000 Like, we had that kid.
00:14:57.000 There was a kid, a little black kid, who went into someone's house, tried to abduct their toddler.
00:15:04.000 The grandfather caught him and chased him out with a knife.
00:15:06.000 They said, you want to press charges?
00:15:07.000 He said, no.
00:15:10.000 You don't want to be mean?
00:15:10.000 Why?
00:15:12.000 Then later on, that same kid
00:15:14.000 Went into someone else's house, grabbed a two-year-old, and stabbed him to death.
00:15:19.000 And they just decided that he's too nuts to stay in trial, so he's going to a mental hospital.
00:15:25.000 Now, going into someone's house, stealing their child, then killing him.
00:15:29.000 Twice.
00:15:30.000 Once, it was white guilt that made him not press charges.
00:15:32.000 That is the most unimaginable horror you can fit into your head.
00:15:37.000 And it got a little bit of local news.
00:15:39.000 It was kind of a thing.
00:15:40.000 No outrage.
00:15:41.000 This woman,
00:15:43.000 is allegedly taking a bike that's not hers.
00:15:47.000 They turn that into, she called the cops, cops are racist, cops shoot black people for no reason, so she almost got them killed, lynched, right?
00:15:55.000 That's really what I take away from this, is this burning desire to catch white people behaving badly.
00:16:04.000 And it's other whites, by the way, that are doxing her and doing all that shit.
00:16:08.000 It's a strange white phenomenon.
00:16:10.000 They just want you to be evil so badly.
00:16:13.000 The demand for racism in this country does not meet the supply.
00:16:17.000 And the demand is like... It's like, release the Kraken every time we think we may have a morsel of bad behavior.
00:16:29.000 Did you find that guy I was talking about?
00:16:30.000 He's not in the notes.
00:16:32.000 Do you know who I mean?
00:16:35.000 It happened, the update with him just going to a mental hospital was February of this year, but the actual abductions, plural, was a couple years ago.
00:16:48.000 Young kid, they have him on ca- Dude, it's so fucking horrific.
00:16:51.000 They have him on camera going into the kid's room and taking him out of the crib.
00:16:59.000 Oh my god, there's like a lot of two-year-olds being killed.
00:17:03.000 But I'll still find the one abducted and stabbed.
00:17:06.000 Yeah, allegedly stabbed, they say.
00:17:09.000 Anyway, while you look at that, I'll jump to my other spot.
00:17:14.000 Oh no, no, I need you for this one too, Ryan.
00:17:18.000 You got the guy?
00:17:18.000 Come on, get the guy.
00:17:20.000 You're running out of time.
00:17:21.000 If I find it on my computer fast, there's gonna be hell to pay.
00:17:26.000 Two-year-olds...
00:17:27.000 Oh my god.
00:17:28.000 Watch this, folks.
00:17:31.000 Getting the computer, opening it up.
00:17:34.000 Okay, going over to Brave.
00:17:38.000 Open the file.
00:17:39.000 Child abducted.
00:17:44.000 Not mentally, not fit for trial.
00:17:49.000 Okay.
00:17:51.000 First link.
00:17:53.000 Kidnapping suspect, not competent to stand trial.
00:17:57.000 How long did that take me?
00:17:59.000 They just say kidnapping.
00:18:01.000 And a showborn woman accused of attempt.
00:18:03.000 Oh, no, that's a showborn woman.
00:18:05.000 Okay.
00:18:05.000 You're off the hook so far.
00:18:06.000 There's a lot of these and Lori Vallow, Catherine Hoggle, manic, Oh, sleeping Dallas boy.
00:18:14.000 Brown.
00:18:16.000 Oh, I hate when local papers make you have to subscribe.
00:18:20.000 I'm not subscribing to Dallas morning news, dude.
00:18:24.000 So now I'm going to add Dallas.
00:18:26.000 That's how you do it.
00:18:27.000 You start building a case.
00:18:31.000 Cash Gurnon.
00:18:33.000 Cash Gurnon, yep, that's it.
00:18:36.000 The man accused of kidnapping a young boy from his bed and murdering him may be deemed incompetent to stand trial.
00:18:42.000 I've been looking at his face.
00:18:44.000 I found it.
00:18:45.000 That's the guy I'm talking about.
00:18:48.000 So, not too much outrage on that.
00:18:51.000 No one doxing, no one... Like, he didn't have to move.
00:18:55.000 He didn't have to... He wasn't fired.
00:18:58.000 He's not even going to jail.
00:19:01.000 Yet some woman objects to being mobbed by teenagers who are stealing the bike and her life is over.
00:19:07.000 I stand with Karen's.
00:19:09.000 Karen's rock.
00:19:11.000 Maybe that'll be our shirt.
00:19:12.000 Karen's rock.
00:19:14.000 There's a GoFundMe for this piece of shit.
00:19:17.000 There's a what?
00:19:17.000 If there's a Go... I'm gonna look up the...
00:19:20.000 Oh yeah, didn't he have a party when he came back from jail for the first time?
00:19:24.000 I think he had a party at GoFundMe.
00:19:27.000 They tried to say he was falsely accused or something.
00:19:30.000 Anyway, I'm getting sick and this show is getting depressing, so let's change the subject.
00:19:34.000 Ching Chong, if you want to chime in.
00:19:38.000 Today's episode of Get Up My Lawn is also proudly sponsored by Johnny Apple CBD.
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00:21:00.000 Wait a minute, is that app, is that deepfake so white people can do racist Chinese imitations?
00:21:08.000 I don't know.
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00:21:41.000 We haven't had a chance to try out these new Johnny Appleseed products, but they should be coming here for the next show.
00:21:46.000 If they're anything like the old Johnny Apple CBD products, they're just as good as anything you'd get in the dispensary for a fraction of the price, especially when you enter promo code GAVIN at checkout for 25% off your entire order.
00:21:58.000 JohnnyApple.com.
00:22:00.000 Support Johnny Apple.
00:22:01.000 They support the show.
00:22:02.000 That's true.
00:22:04.000 I like how you mentioned that they're so smooth, because they're really so smooth.
00:22:08.000 And anytime you try them, it comes on real quick, but you're very smooth.
00:22:13.000 Okay.
00:22:16.000 Uh, I got a lot of January 6th stuff.
00:22:20.000 And, uh, some stuff that looks real bad for Enrique Tarrio.
00:22:25.000 Like evidence that he knew he was being arrested.
00:22:28.000 They told him all about it.
00:22:29.000 Ah, that makes you look pretty fetty, buddy!
00:22:34.000 But I got to get to this green screen, so maybe we'll do that afterwards.
00:22:37.000 I also want to talk about, this actually fits with Idiocracy.
00:22:41.000 This is Michael Rapoport, who for the millionth time is not a New Yorker.
00:22:47.000 He moved from here to LA at the age of 18.
00:22:49.000 He's fucking 60 or something now.
00:22:53.000 So your days your stop it with the fake accent your accent is a normal LA accent with your stupid Yankees hat and your black mannerisms because you have a black wife so that lets you be black you sound like a moron and He's so beastie boys, isn't he?
00:23:12.000 Yo, what the fuck?
00:23:14.000 Yo, I'm a tough guy.
00:23:15.000 Because people in LA, when you have a New York accent, they assume that you're a murderer who's connected with the mob.
00:23:21.000 Some people laugh and go, no, I just grew up in Queens.
00:23:26.000 But some people get into it, and like, yeah, look, I know some guys.
00:23:29.000 You can make a few problems go away, if you know what I mean.
00:23:32.000 Yeah, I eat at Rao's.
00:23:34.000 And Michael is one of those guys who got drunk with the attention, and now he's in character his entire life.
00:23:41.000 This is going to take a lot of pausing.
00:23:42.000 I would say that I have Trump derangement syndrome, but I personally think if you support a guy who says he's like his war heroes
00:23:51.000 Not to be captured.
00:23:52.000 Stop.
00:23:53.000 So Trump did say that about McCain.
00:23:57.000 There is a lot of evidence that McCain's POW shit was completely made up.
00:24:03.000 I've heard from reliable sources that he wasn't even in a bamboo cage.
00:24:08.000 He was actually in a hotel room.
00:24:09.000 He's a rich kid who was incredibly well connected from birth.
00:24:13.000 So what Trump usually does is he gets some amazing heavy shit intel and then without saying it's true he just implies that something's up and he looks like he's an asshole and then later it comes out oh shit he was right.
00:24:29.000 Like Obama.
00:24:30.000 I don't think Obama was born in America and I think Trump knows that and that's why he ended the whole debate by saying I'll give you a hundred thousand dollars for his birth certificate.
00:24:39.000 Next.
00:24:39.000 Support a guy who mocks disabled.
00:24:42.000 Stop.
00:24:44.000 Why is the camera on your ear?
00:24:48.000 Idiocracy.
00:24:50.000 We're just listening to his weird rash and his fucking ear.
00:24:56.000 He never mocked the handicapped.
00:24:58.000 There was a dude who was attacking him and Trump put him in his place and Trump did that thing where you go, oh, like say I'm arguing with you and I go, yeah, how come they were never there in the first place?
00:25:08.000 How did, how come Tario knew he was getting arrested?
00:25:11.000 And then the guy goes, and then you go,
00:25:16.000 You're mocking the person who can't think of anything to say.
00:25:19.000 I mean, there's an air of retard in there, but it's really like you're confused.
00:25:27.000 It means the other person doesn't know what to do.
00:25:29.000 Now, coincidentally, the guy he was talking about, he's done that a million times, but coincidentally, one of the times, the guy was a gimp.
00:25:36.000 Trump didn't know that.
00:25:37.000 If you look at the guy's author photo, it starts here, not here.
00:25:41.000 So he coincidentally was going uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh about a guy who happened to be handicapped.
00:25:46.000 And frankly, Trump was right again.
00:25:48.000 Really.
00:25:51.000 Okay, next.
00:25:57.000 Pays hush money.
00:25:59.000 Everyone pays hush money.
00:26:01.000 At least he doesn't have them killed like Hillary did.
00:26:04.000 That's just a rumor by the way.
00:26:07.000 I actually personally believe that he fucked Stormy Daniels.
00:26:10.000 And I believe that he paid her like 50 grand to fuck off.
00:26:14.000 I don't care.
00:26:15.000 And this is an entire industry in Hollywood.
00:26:18.000 I wouldn't be surprised if Rappaport had to pay someone to not say that they gave him a handjob.
00:26:24.000 So that's an irrelevant detail.
00:26:27.000 The amount of, I talked to lawyers, I did a big article about it with Dove Charney and Seagal being charged with fake sexual harassment things.
00:26:38.000 And I was talking to lawyers down there and they go, dude, it's a daily basis.
00:26:41.000 They just go, it's 40 grand to go away, fine.
00:26:44.000 It's just like, it's the cost of being famous in LA.
00:26:49.000 But some people, Jimmy Kimmel I think, Steven Seagal, Dove Charney, they all said no.
00:26:55.000 I'm not paying.
00:26:56.000 I'm done with this.
00:26:57.000 You're lying.
00:26:58.000 And that's the only way to stop this, is to stand up.
00:27:01.000 Anyway, keep going.
00:27:03.000 Stop.
00:27:06.000 He incites riots.
00:27:08.000 This is a very mainstream opinion, by the way, that he said, come and protest peacefully, he added.
00:27:16.000 It's going to be wild.
00:27:17.000 Saying it's going to be wild is telling people to smash the windows and break down the doors of the Capitol.
00:27:24.000 You know what, Mike?
00:27:25.000 That's Trump derangement syndrome.
00:27:27.000 If you see that tweet as inciting a riot, you have TDS.
00:27:32.000 Bad.
00:27:33.000 So it's ironic that he's listing all the reasons why he has Trump derangement syndrome in what he thinks is a great rebuke of the phenomenon of Trump derangement syndrome.
00:27:45.000 God, I hope I use the word rebuke right.
00:27:49.000 That suggests you put bleach in your skin to help you with the COVID-19 pandemic.
00:27:54.000 Never happened.
00:27:55.000 And it's support a guy who grabs him by the pussy.
00:27:58.000 After all that, you have trumped Randy.
00:28:02.000 We're not talking about the grab by the pussy ever again.
00:28:05.000 We've explained that nine million times, a dumb joke you say to ease the tension amongst a new friend before you shoot something.
00:28:12.000 And they do, when you are rich and powerful, they do let you grab them by the pussy.
00:28:17.000 And the bleach thing,
00:28:19.000 He was talking about ethereal concepts and how he wishes there could be a way to do this.
00:28:24.000 He's talking to doctors about all the different ideas they have for fighting this.
00:28:30.000 You honestly believe the President told the American public to fill a syringe with bleach and inject it into your skin?
00:28:38.000 Do you genuinely believe that?
00:28:40.000 Do you genuinely believe that the President said, go up to any chick you want and just honk her fucking twat?
00:28:47.000 Like, I don't even believe that they believe what they say they believe.
00:28:55.000 Alright, I'm getting sick of this backdrop, so let's get to this Idiocracy Monolith.
00:29:01.000 20 ways that idiocracy came true, because that's a good segue to it.
00:29:21.000 20 ways idiocracy came true.
00:29:24.000 Now, this is kind of hack.
00:29:25.000 It's done a few times, but I'm doing it my way.
00:29:28.000 Playing Louie Louie as an encore is hack, but I liked when Black Flag did it.
00:29:33.000 Number one, oh wait, before we even get started, the story behind Idiocracy is amazing.
00:29:40.000 Mike Judge just constantly gets abused by 20th Century Fox.
00:29:45.000 They hated office space.
00:29:46.000 They put no money into it.
00:29:48.000 They said it's gonna flop.
00:29:49.000 It exploded, because it's awesome.
00:29:51.000 One executive at Fox said, no one wants to see your boring movie about mundane people and their mediocre jobs.
00:29:59.000 Wrong.
00:29:59.000 We identify with that.
00:30:01.000 Those are our lives you're showing.
00:30:03.000 And then Idiocracy, they didn't even make a trailer for it.
00:30:07.000 When you would go to like Fandango, it would say, Untitled Mike Judge Comedy.
00:30:15.000 They totally shat all over it.
00:30:16.000 Luckily, he didn't take all that seriously.
00:30:18.000 What was his name?
00:30:19.000 Doug Kenny, the guy who wrote Caddyshack.
00:30:21.000 Caddyshack came out with Little Fanfare and he did Animal House first.
00:30:24.000 So he got so upset he killed himself.
00:30:26.000 Mike Judge knew this was gold though.
00:30:28.000 And he was right.
00:30:31.000 In a way, Idiocracy was sort of prophetic because he knew it would be a good movie and then it later became known as one of the greatest movies ever.
00:30:40.000 But yeah, he took a lot of abuse for this.
00:30:43.000 I think they've released it in so few theaters, like half a dozen or maybe a dozen, it grossed $500,000.
00:30:52.000 Since then though, we quote it every day.
00:30:54.000 Alright, number one!
00:30:57.000 The thing in idiocracy that is true now, and it's my favorite one.
00:31:01.000 Usually you start with these lists and they get better and better.
00:31:03.000 I'm spilling all my jizz on the first one.
00:31:07.000 Crocs.
00:31:11.000 We're in the South Bronx here.
00:31:13.000 I think we're floating around 100% Crocs.
00:31:17.000 Everyone wears Crocs.
00:31:19.000 They wear these, they have these cumbrellas eyelashes that are three feet long.
00:31:25.000 They wear a shower cap that's big enough to fit a small dog.
00:31:29.000 They have some dumb t-shirt on.
00:31:31.000 Leggings, no matter how terrible their ass is, they're showing it off.
00:31:33.000 You can see the cellulite sometimes.
00:31:36.000 And then Crocs.
00:31:37.000 Like they look like they're under house arrest.
00:31:40.000 And it's everywhere.
00:31:41.000 Students going to school, moms, tough guys, wimps.
00:31:46.000 Everyone is wearing Crocs in New York.
00:31:50.000 Ryan wears Crocs.
00:31:51.000 My son, I found Crocs in his house.
00:31:54.000 My brother-in-law is wearing them right now.
00:31:56.000 They are fucking everywhere and it drives me insane.
00:32:02.000 It rains on them, you get little wet parts of your socks.
00:32:06.000 Ugh!
00:32:07.000 I bet they're slimy, too.
00:32:09.000 This is Mike Judge talking about it, how he can't believe how popular they are.
00:32:14.000 Yeah, I was just thinking that, so there was the wardrobe... Stylist.
00:32:21.000 ...woman, whatever, I don't know, what are you, costume designers, the official title.
00:32:25.000 She
00:32:26.000 You know, she had a limited budget also, and for the shoes, so we shot it in 2004.
00:32:31.000 The studio was so unenthusiastic about this movie, he had to call in buddies to do all those special effects, and they're so over-the-top CGI, it actually makes for a cool aesthetic.
00:32:44.000 It's obviously photoshopped or CGI'd, whatever, and that actually ends up being kind of cool.
00:32:51.000 Okay, there's a startup, and it was Crocs, but they weren't out in the world yet.
00:32:54.000 But it was a small company, and she goes, look at these.
00:32:57.000 This was shot in 2004, I think he says.
00:32:58.000 Sorry.
00:32:59.000 Plastic shoes.
00:32:59.000 She said, we could really save a lot of money, just put everyone in these things.
00:33:04.000 And then I said, well, what if, but what if?
00:33:06.000 By the time the movie comes out, what if everyone's, what if these become popular and people are wearing them?
00:33:10.000 She said, oh, these are never going to become popular.
00:33:13.000 No one would ever wear these things.
00:33:14.000 They're horrible.
00:33:15.000 And then, but then it took two years for the movie to come out.
00:33:20.000 Then everyone's, but then people are like, oh, that's pretty funny that you put everyone in Crocs.
00:33:26.000 Amazing.
00:33:27.000 Really amazing.
00:33:28.000 And crocs are a sign of the overall degradation of society.
00:33:33.000 So he predicted that and he was right.
00:33:35.000 Number two, this is a biggie.
00:33:38.000 Everyone is retarded.
00:33:40.000 Everyone.
00:33:42.000 When I turn on the TV, I see our politicians.
00:33:46.000 I see what they're discussing.
00:33:47.000 I just go, am I the smartest man in the world?
00:33:51.000 What planet am I living on?
00:33:53.000 Clown world!
00:33:55.000 Like, look at this politician.
00:33:56.000 This is one of our politicians just talking about how banks are too powerful.
00:34:01.000 Is it a staggering responsibility that the head of a bank could literally crash our economy?
00:34:09.000 Gotcha.
00:34:09.000 That sort of makes sense.
00:34:10.000 That's like if you have, I mean like, and they also realize is that now they have, it's a guaranteed way to be saved by no matter how.
00:34:27.000 I'll give you an example.
00:34:29.000 The Republicans want to give a work requirement for SNAP.
00:34:33.000 A hungry family has to have these kind of penalties.
00:34:39.000 Are these some kind of working requirements?
00:34:42.000 Shouldn't you have a working requirement?
00:34:44.000 You have to resale your bank with billions of your bank.
00:34:47.000 I am a genius.
00:34:47.000 I understand that.
00:34:48.000 Protecting the tax papers.
00:34:48.000 Tax papers.
00:34:51.000 Hey, I'm a tax paper!
00:35:06.000 That's enough.
00:35:07.000 He's saying Republicans want some sort of basic volunteer work for everyone who gets welfare.
00:35:12.000 You have to go pick up garbage for like an hour a week and the bank should have to do that because they're getting welfare too.
00:35:18.000 I speak Fetterman.
00:35:20.000 I should be standing next to him.
00:35:21.000 The sign language person and then I'm on the other side going, this is what this absolute brain-dead piece of shit is trying to say.
00:35:32.000 But even talking about reparations
00:35:35.000 is a sign that we've lost it as a nation.
00:35:38.000 And the only thing stupider than reparations, the concept, is the numbers that are floating around.
00:35:44.000 $14 trillion divided by $330 million, once you factor in the fact that blacks probably won't have to pay into it, but it's like $50,000 for every baby, old lady, like everyone has to pay that.
00:35:57.000 Remember we were talking the other day about it and the people in California were like, one million each?
00:36:02.000 Fuck you!
00:36:04.000 More like 200 million.
00:36:06.000 40 acres and a mule would be worth 200 million right now.
00:36:09.000 Where?
00:36:09.000 In Beverly Hills?
00:36:10.000 So, that's what we all want.
00:36:14.000 All black people get 200 million dollars in California.
00:36:18.000 That's not possible.
00:36:20.000 So, talking about it is retarded.
00:36:24.000 Go down.
00:36:28.000 There they are.
00:36:28.000 Oh, that's the president almost falling.
00:36:30.000 That's different.
00:36:32.000 Just let's talk about reparations.
00:36:34.000 Everyone getting... I want to spend 14 trillion.
00:36:36.000 Go to the video.
00:36:38.000 That's Jamal Bowman.
00:36:39.000 You know who voted for him?
00:36:41.000 Rich liberal housewives in Westchester.
00:36:43.000 And he's a very radical left-wing, like, communist lunatic.
00:36:49.000 And the masochistic liberal white woman, I don't want to use the word Karen because that's our team now, elected him.
00:37:02.000 Wait, why is there a video below it?
00:37:03.000 Just made up crap.
00:37:03.000 Bullshit.
00:37:04.000 This isn't a theory, by the way.
00:37:30.000 IQ scores have been plummeting.
00:37:31.000 Look at this rapper someone put up.
00:37:34.000 Not the kind who does violent poetry over beats, but the kind you put in a sandwich.
00:37:40.000 Do not eat this rapper.
00:37:44.000 The Pentagon says, sorry, IQ scores have been plummeting for decades if you go to 1.4.
00:37:52.000 Wait, that's the wrong backdrop, dude.
00:37:58.000 No, no, is that 1.4?
00:38:02.000 You're retarded.
00:38:04.000 IQ scores are falling and have been falling for decades.
00:38:07.000 New study finds.
00:38:09.000 And then if you go to the next one, the Pentagon has done these studies and they realized that if your IQ is like below 80, 85,
00:38:19.000 I think even higher than that, maybe it's like more like 90, then there's not really any jobs for you here.
00:38:25.000 You need to be able to like understand how to work a gun and do hard stuff, strategy type stuff.
00:38:31.000 And they allege, the Pentagon alleges, 70% of the country is too stupid to enlist in the military.
00:38:40.000 Staggering 71% of young Americans are ineligible to join the Armed Forces when you subtract out the too dumb, the too fat, and the too criminal.
00:38:47.000 Oh, that's why, yeah, because I was thinking you can't have 70% of the population isn't an ADIQ, but yeah, when you factor in too criminal, too fat, you get up to 70%.
00:38:59.000 In practical terms, that means that 24 million of the 34 million Americans in the 17 to 24 year old cohort, the Pentagon's main recruiting demographic, cannot enlist.
00:39:10.000 Here's another random example like the wrapper that you're not supposed to eat.
00:39:30.000 Many people, there's one I didn't include in here, have you seen the one where it's like, Bill Gates has 65 billion dollars, there's 7 billion people in the world, can't he give everyone in the world a billion dollars?
00:39:44.000 You're trillions off with your calculation.
00:39:47.000 Remember they said it on the news and then they brought it up on the news.
00:39:51.000 Remember that?
00:39:52.000 Yes.
00:39:52.000 They go Elon Musk spent a hundred million dollars on his campaign or something.
00:39:58.000 He could have given every American a million dollars and had plenty of money left over.
00:40:03.000 Wow.
00:40:04.000 And it wasn't just that one black woman who blurted out the tweet.
00:40:07.000 The white news guy was like, when I read that tweet, I thought, that's amazing.
00:40:11.000 He should have given every American a million dollars.
00:40:14.000 Which is also on this list, by the way.
00:40:16.000 Is that Brian Williams?
00:40:18.000 I don't think so.
00:40:19.000 Maybe.
00:40:21.000 But look at this.
00:40:22.000 People don't understand how a mirror knows what's not in front of it.
00:40:27.000 They don't know the difference.
00:40:31.000 Wait, how is that still up?
00:40:36.000 Shit!
00:40:38.000 Oh, it's not still up.
00:40:39.000 It's debunked.
00:40:43.000 But look at 1.7.
00:40:45.000 People don't understand the difference between angle of incidence, angle of refraction, and a camera.
00:40:51.000 This camera that's filming me right now has no clue what's to the right and the left of it.
00:40:57.000 It's a camera.
00:40:58.000 A mirror is different.
00:41:00.000 A mirror reflects things, like light.
00:41:02.000 And when you look at it at an angle, you can see what's over there.
00:41:06.000 It doesn't know this.
00:41:08.000 I've seen tons of people on Twitter testing this and are completely confused.
00:41:14.000 Because it's voodoo!
00:41:16.000 How does the mirror know that you are gay?
00:41:19.000 This is voodoo!
00:41:21.000 We need to smash all the mirrors!
00:41:24.000 They know too much!
00:41:25.000 They can read your mind!
00:41:30.000 And then just the general discourse in society.
00:41:34.000 Oh wait, jump down to 2-0, Ryan.
00:41:37.000 I have a collection on my phone, I've already covered this on another episode, of how many people are unaware that the dollar sign goes in front of the number.
00:41:47.000 Dude, I've had arguments with people online where they go, no dummy, it's $20, so the dollars goes on the other side.
00:41:58.000 Gonna have to log in and show your password, I bet.
00:42:03.000 So that's going to be, that's very retarded of you.
00:42:07.000 This, the clip that I have lined up here, is a Canadian politician writing about it.
00:42:16.000 Now, I've heard French people say, well, in France, the euro goes on the other side, so I can be forgiven.
00:42:22.000 No.
00:42:23.000 No.
00:42:24.000 You live in Canada.
00:42:25.000 Is it not time-coded?
00:42:27.000 Oh, it doesn't automatically go there.
00:42:28.000 It's 31 something?
00:42:29.000 What is it again?
00:42:29.000 3010?
00:42:29.000 It's in the notes.
00:42:37.000 Don't be retarded on a show where we're talking about retards.
00:42:40.000 Anyway, I think it fits the... Politician.
00:42:43.000 Blue check.
00:42:44.000 Politician.
00:42:46.000 And that doesn't look weird to her.
00:42:47.000 So she doesn't read books.
00:42:49.000 Next.
00:42:50.000 All right.
00:42:51.000 And then I just want to get into the general discourse.
00:42:54.000 Boy, this is going to be long.
00:42:55.000 We're only at two.
00:42:57.000 We're a tenth of the way.
00:42:59.000 See?
00:42:59.000 Math.
00:43:01.000 Uh, look at this Tranny18.
00:43:02.000 Like, you just, this is our world.
00:43:06.000 2023, you sit down in a chair, you turn on your TV, and this person is talking to you.
00:43:12.000 What happened at the steps of Parliament with Posie Parker, hi girl if you're watching, was like something out of The Handmaid's Tale.
00:43:22.000 And trans people aged 14 to 25 are 15 times more likely to take their lives.
00:43:26.000 So why are we encouraging kids to be trans if it's got those kind of demographics?
00:43:31.000 Hey kid, try out trans.
00:43:34.000 It's got a really high suicide rate.
00:43:35.000 You'll love it.
00:43:37.000 Whether you knew the neo-Nazis were going to be there or not, you shouldn't be there.
00:43:42.000 The whole white supremacy talk, neo-nazi shit in this country is another whole perfect example of how we've lost our minds and we're all stupid.
00:43:51.000 Or this guy, Alok.
00:43:53.000 Like, okay, I don't want to watch that anymore.
00:43:54.000 I'm going to change the channel.
00:43:56.000 And you go over and this guy is telling you what life is like and how to... This guy, are you ready for this?
00:44:04.000 Alok just got a professorship.
00:44:06.000 He's a professor at a university.
00:44:11.000 No qualifications whatsoever.
00:44:13.000 He teaches queer theory.
00:44:15.000 I got a theory?
00:44:15.000 You're nuts.
00:44:20.000 And so then I began to ask myself, if my friends love me, then maybe there's something worth loving in me.
00:44:26.000 And then I made the audacious decision.
00:44:29.000 He has a PhD in me.
00:44:30.000 To believe them and to say, maybe I am beautiful.
00:44:33.000 What would it look like if I woke up today and I said, maybe I am beautiful.
00:44:37.000 It wasn't, I am beautiful.
00:44:38.000 It's maybe I am.
00:44:39.000 It was an experimental practice.
00:44:41.000 So I wore a dress outside.
00:44:43.000 I was like, maybe I'm someone.
00:44:45.000 It's stupider than idiocracy!
00:44:46.000 Alright, number three.
00:44:47.000 Rayon shirts.
00:44:55.000 You know what, Ryan?
00:44:58.000 I'm sick of the freeloaders.
00:44:59.000 Cut the episode here as far as the free stuff.
00:45:03.000 We've got some great Jan 6 secrets.
00:45:05.000 We've got some My Pet Biden.
00:45:07.000 We've got some hot chicks, naked ladies.
00:45:11.000 We have free candy.
00:45:12.000 We have a million dollars for everyone who subscribes that we're going to be giving away at the end of the episode.
00:45:16.000 But I'm sick of you freeloaders.
00:45:18.000 It's $10 a month.
00:45:20.000 Unlimited content more content than you could possibly shake a stick at I do a show every day seven days a week You get at least an hour and a half of gav sometimes four We never take a day off if it's gonna be moment if it's Memorial Day we pre-recorded a sit-down with a Vietnam vet with all kinds of cool footage and
00:45:40.000 Christmas Day.
00:45:41.000 There's something to watch every single day.
00:45:44.000 We did a marathon that was, well, allegedly five days.
00:45:49.000 It was more like 16 hours.
00:45:50.000 Some trickery there.
00:45:53.000 It's a very good investment and it's the only time you'll feel sane.
00:45:57.000 Like you turn on the TV and you see those trannies and you go, what planet am I living on?
00:46:01.000 You turn on our show and you go, oh my God.
00:46:04.000 It's almost like some dystopian horror movie where you're like, you've got the CB radio and you hear,
00:46:09.000 Is anyone there?
00:46:10.000 Is anyone there?
00:46:12.000 Someone else is alive!
00:46:13.000 I heard someone talking!
00:46:15.000 Where are you?
00:46:19.000 A wee bit of sanity in a world gone mad.
00:46:23.000 So, goodbye freeloaders.
00:46:25.000 Bye everybody.
00:46:29.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
00:46:37.000 Isn't he adorable?
00:46:39.000 You look kind of like my gym owner.
00:46:41.000 Looks like Rittenhouse.
00:46:43.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:46:43.000 I couldn't see you in the old chair because you were behind the camera.
00:46:47.000 So this is the first time I'm seeing you.
00:46:48.000 I can't see you.
00:46:49.000 You look like a dog.
00:46:51.000 My eyes are so small.
00:46:55.000 Would I look Asian if I had that face?
00:46:57.000 I don't know.
00:46:59.000 We could try.
00:46:59.000 Let me see.
00:47:01.000 Actually, I think I might be able to... Maybe you can cast it on me now.
00:47:05.000 I can.
00:47:06.000 You can?
00:47:12.000 That's awesome.
00:47:14.000 I don't look Asian though.
00:47:15.000 No, you look like a little pudgy boy.
00:47:16.000 I look like a little doggy.
00:47:17.000 It's morphing.
00:47:20.000 Oh, that's a trip.
00:47:22.000 Kind of hypnotizing.
00:47:24.000 Yeah, we don't wear cotton anymore.
00:47:26.000 All my kids' uniforms are rayon, because I guess it takes prints better?
00:47:30.000 This is one of the more interesting predictions that Mike did.
00:47:33.000 He saw that we want to get more advertising.
00:47:35.000 We're going to be more about prints.
00:47:36.000 You're going to have Gatorade and Starbucks and Brawny and all that shit all over you.
00:47:40.000 Just like bicyclists, where they have all their sponsors on their shirts.
00:47:45.000 So if there's advertising everywhere, we're going to need things that take prints well.
00:47:51.000 And polyester takes prints well.
00:47:53.000 Rayon, whatever you want to call it.
00:47:54.000 And everywhere I look Under Armour people it's kind of hard to find cotton shirts these days.
00:48:00.000 It's I think it's been replaced Yeah, and those print all over shirts are huge like these things and that that ain't cotton my friends No, you want a retarded looking hate like this and the suburbs and oh, there we go.
00:48:17.000 Oh my god is Holy crap, that is idiocracy
00:48:21.000 This is the sequel.
00:48:22.000 It looks like clips from the sequel.
00:48:25.000 I hate seeing these suburbanites up where I live on Saturdays.
00:48:29.000 They all get together.
00:48:30.000 Why are you getting together to ride a bicycle?
00:48:33.000 Just ride your bike by yourself.
00:48:34.000 You can't talk to the guy.
00:48:36.000 So you're just staring at his ass as he goes in front of you.
00:48:39.000 And they cover their shirts with fake sponsors.
00:48:42.000 Dude, we should do a crayon shirt with like a joker face, some drop images, like do an all over print.
00:48:48.000 Yeah, that's a good idea.
00:48:49.000 Crayon shirt.
00:48:50.000 It's your idiocracy shirt.
00:48:53.000 And we'll call it that, the Idiocracy Shirt.
00:48:58.000 Okay, number four.
00:49:00.000 We've covered this to death, but Incompetent Planes.
00:49:06.000 If you go to 2-2, and this is what I meant earlier when I said the bad CGI has its own kind of cool aesthetic.
00:49:13.000 Like, look, look at that.
00:49:14.000 Stop.
00:49:14.000 That doesn't look like a plane is there.
00:49:17.000 You know, it's clearly a painting, but it looks neat.
00:49:20.000 I like it.
00:49:22.000 But that's common throughout the thing, is a plane crash.
00:49:25.000 I don't think they'd even get planes up in this world.
00:49:29.000 But we have a thousand examples.
00:49:32.000 Look, and it starts because of virtue signaling.
00:49:39.000 But look at, this is, so we need more female pilots, right?
00:49:41.000 Let's get a female pilot.
00:49:43.000 Let's see how female pilots are doing.
00:49:44.000 Go to two, three.
00:49:46.000 Finally, more woman in the air.
00:49:51.000 Excuse me.
00:49:54.000 But never like this.
00:49:55.000 I'll stop and I will fly the airplane.
00:49:58.000 Don't worry, I'm going to let my co-pilot fly it.
00:50:00.000 He's a man.
00:50:01.000 Okay?
00:50:03.000 It's a total meltdown.
00:50:04.000 The pilot boarded in her street clothes and addressed the passengers over the intercom.
00:50:09.000 Passenger Pam O'Neill couldn't believe what was happening.
00:50:12.000 She said, let's take a vote.
00:50:14.000 How many of you would like to take off now with me dressed as I am?
00:50:18.000 Or would you prefer that I take 10 minutes to get changed into my
00:50:21.000 I prefer you take 10 minutes so I have time to get off.
00:50:23.000 What started all this?
00:50:25.000 Is it the IQ drop?
00:50:38.000 Well, sort of.
00:50:39.000 I think the IQ drop is what's allowed woke politics to flourish, like that Alok dude we just had to tolerate, who's now a professor.
00:50:48.000 But go to 2-4.
00:50:49.000 This is really the moment, Biden, because when you're against affirmative action airlines, people think you're racist and you don't think black people are smart enough to fly a plane.
00:50:57.000 No, it's not just black people.
00:50:58.000 Trannies, females, they're crowbarring people who aren't necessarily deserving of the job.
00:51:12.000 I'm gay.
00:51:12.000 I'm a dude.
00:51:14.000 Is that a woman?
00:51:16.000 Oh, Harry Potter can fly.
00:51:17.000 Uh...
00:51:40.000 So we've already gone through all these, right?
00:51:41.000 Passenger bus collides with an airplane.
00:51:44.000 FedEx and Southwest almost hit each other.
00:51:47.000 We showed you the CGI breakdown of this.
00:51:50.000 It's a whole segment we did.
00:51:53.000 Mesa Airlines had to abandon the flight.
00:51:56.000 They crashed into a bridge.
00:51:57.000 They killed people in Austin twice.
00:52:02.000 And we're seeing this in infrastructure too.
00:52:04.000 This is a really important article.
00:52:05.000 I read I've sent this to nine billion people Which and they've each given me a dollar so now I have enough money to give everyone else in the world a trillion dollars Go to three zero jump ahead.
00:52:17.000 We don't need to show all the plain shit again You can go back to the episode
00:52:23.000 This is a really good... Die!
00:52:24.000 This is what inspired the shirt we're working on.
00:52:26.000 Diversity, Inclusion, Equity.
00:52:28.000 And this guy just talks about all the incredible problems.
00:52:32.000 He comes from Venezuela and he saw woke bullshit socialist garbage destroy his infrastructure.
00:52:38.000 That unnecessary... Oh wait.
00:52:41.000 Yeah.
00:52:42.000 He talks about this...
00:52:45.000 It always starts with a diversity initiative and then ends with a crash.
00:52:48.000 And he talks about this collapse of a pedestrian bridge close to Florida, International University of Miami, that killed six people.
00:52:55.000 This is 3-1.
00:52:57.000 And this was a, they were really proud of themselves because it was an all Hispanic company.
00:53:01.000 A Cuban company that only hires Hispanics, and they built that bridge.
00:53:06.000 And guess what?
00:53:06.000 It sucks.
00:53:07.000 Because Cubans are dumb?
00:53:08.000 Well, the island boys are pretty dumb, but no.
00:53:11.000 Because you didn't put meritocracy first.
00:53:13.000 God hates that, and he punishes you with death when you do it.
00:53:21.000 As VDA's James Kirkpatrick reported at the time, citing real estate news outlet The Real Deal, a man had sued the company because one of its bridges collapsed under him at Fort Lauderdale.
00:53:29.000 MCM was previously bragging about doing construction work at Guantanamo Bay Naval Base, noting that it is a certified minority-owned firm with the Southern Florida Minority Supplier Development Council.
00:53:42.000 They won a $66 million contract to build a school at Guantanamo Bay Naval Base.
00:53:47.000 And they won a diversity award for that.
00:53:49.000 Yeah, that's what diversity means.
00:53:52.000 That's what forcing someone to do a job means.
00:53:55.000 Death.
00:53:55.000 So that is your reward, in a sense.
00:53:59.000 Number five.
00:54:01.000 The president offering everyone a million dollars.
00:54:04.000 You see, notice my text goes off the edge of the screen like an idiot.
00:54:08.000 These go to 11.
00:54:12.000 Go to 3-2.
00:54:15.000 People need money!
00:54:17.000 Lots and lots of money!
00:54:21.000 That's why the only jobs I'm going to create are going to be down at the Mint!
00:54:26.000 That's right!
00:54:27.000 We're going to print so much damn money, I'm going to give every single American one million dollars!
00:54:32.000 Check it out.
00:54:35.000 Ain't going to be no more 1%.
00:54:38.000 We got that.
00:54:38.000 During COVID, President Biden gave everyone $3,000, if you recall.
00:54:42.000 I remember I was going to a mall, what's it called?
00:54:56.000 That weird Muslim-sounding Sultan name, the King of Salta, Sultan Mall.
00:55:01.000 King of Prussia Mall.
00:55:02.000 King of Prussia Mall.
00:55:04.000 And there was lineups, two-hour lineups.
00:55:07.000 This was maybe like a week after Biden gave everyone a check.
00:55:11.000 There was two-hour lineups outside of Gucci and Yves Saint Laurent.
00:55:15.000 People just standing there, waiting to go in and blow their $3,000 on a $3,000 purse.
00:55:22.000 Nice long-term planning there.
00:55:24.000 And again, the reparations, the fact that we're discussing reparations, I'm sort of repeating myself here, is embarrassing.
00:55:35.000 Okay, number six.
00:55:39.000 Owl my balls.
00:55:40.000 Oh, and by the way, to go back to number five, Biden has also printed an unprecedented amount of money.
00:55:47.000 So not only is he giving out money and we're discussing every black person getting $250 million, just like that Camacho clip, he is printing our dollar into valuelessness.
00:55:59.000 Number six, Ow My Balls.
00:56:00.000 This was around, Jackass was around before, uh, uh, Ow My Balls.
00:56:06.000 But, uh, it's very popular.
00:56:09.000 And we have Wipeout and a whole bunch of other shows like this.
00:56:26.000 And then 3-5, they literally hit people in the balls and they say, ow.
00:56:44.000 I've told you this a hundred times, but I've hung out with those dudes.
00:56:47.000 We started Vice TV together.
00:56:48.000 Sorry, Tim Pool.
00:56:50.000 And you're just at a meeting, talking, and you have your hand on your balls.
00:56:54.000 Because the second it's not on there, Knoxville's going to whack him.
00:56:59.000 I live in constant ball fear.
00:57:01.000 Not fun.
00:57:02.000 Number seven, Naked News.
00:57:05.000 This is exactly as it was portrayed in the film.
00:57:09.000 And it was around in, it was around in 2000, but they're wearing the exact same thing.
00:57:13.000 It's not around anymore.
00:57:14.000 I think it was owned by a Russian company.
00:57:16.000 I actually dated one of the girls, Lily Kwan, who was in Naked News.
00:57:21.000 She liked it very rough.
00:57:25.000 Now everyone, when you look at other people talking about this, they say Fox News, this is Fox News.
00:57:30.000 No, it's not.
00:57:31.000 It's Naked News.
00:57:32.000 It's not an exaggeration.
00:57:33.000 Show the link.
00:57:39.000 Our latest boob is a company we've all come to know and tolerate.
00:57:43.000 American Airlines.
00:57:45.000 Here's a clip from their in-flight safety video.
00:57:47.000 And what they would do is they would start fully clothed and then over the course of the newscast they would slowly take off their clothes.
00:57:54.000 So that's kind of a backwards prediction because it was already around.
00:57:58.000 It's funny that they're talking about how stupid American Airlines is even back then.
00:58:03.000 Number eight.
00:58:04.000 This is kind of a no-brainer.
00:58:05.000 Ads are everywhere.
00:58:07.000 But you really, once you see it, you can't unsee it.
00:58:09.000 And in sports, it's just getting ridiculous.
00:58:12.000 Every year, they add a new spot.
00:58:15.000 It's behind the pitcher.
00:58:16.000 It's along the wall.
00:58:17.000 It's now LED screens.
00:58:19.000 The backdrop at Citi Field for the Mets games is so unbelievably huge now that the batters are getting distracted.
00:58:26.000 It's the biggest one I've ever seen in any context anywhere in my life.
00:58:31.000 It's bigger than this entire building.
00:58:35.000 And, of course, on the uniforms, they've got this dumb patch.
00:58:39.000 New York, Presbyterian.
00:58:40.000 I don't really understand hospitals advertising.
00:58:43.000 Don't you go to the one that does your cancer stuff?
00:58:47.000 Do people shop around hospitals?
00:58:48.000 I don't know.
00:58:50.000 So they had to change the colors on that particular one.
00:58:52.000 It's so distracting, too.
00:58:53.000 Look, he's already got a Nike swoosh over here.
00:58:56.000 And then they decorate them for breast cancer, they make them all wear pink because I think they do it to emasculate them.
00:59:03.000 Have you seen the boxing shorts lately?
00:59:04.000 Where there's only fans on it and fucking all the other brands, they do that with their shorts.
00:59:10.000 Really?
00:59:11.000 Yep.
00:59:11.000 I haven't noticed that.
00:59:14.000 Number nine, swearing in ads.
00:59:17.000 In idiocracy they say, if you don't smoke these, fuck you.
00:59:22.000 Which is pretty cool.
00:59:27.000 We should do that with our censored.tv ads, Ryan.
00:59:29.000 Why didn't we think of that?
00:59:30.000 I wonder if they'd allow that.
00:59:33.000 If you don't subscribe to censored.tv, fuck you.
00:59:36.000 I like it.
00:59:38.000 And I'll be smoking a cigarette.
00:59:39.000 Yeah, let's do that.
00:59:40.000 I'm getting a lot of great ideas during this segment.
00:59:45.000 But yeah, they do it all the time.
00:59:47.000 They come real close.
00:59:49.000 Now, that's a motherfucking burger.
00:59:51.000 I guess.
00:59:52.000 See, the problem with truly swearing in ads is Southerners hate swearing.
00:59:57.000 Southern teenagers don't swear.
00:59:59.000 So you lose half the country there.
01:00:00.000 But then there's 41.
01:00:01.000 This one was very popular.
01:00:02.000 I thought it was pretty funny actually.
01:00:04.000 Ship my pants.
01:00:04.000 4-1.
01:00:11.000 Ship my pants?
01:00:12.000 Right here?
01:00:14.000 Ship my pants?
01:00:14.000 You're kidding.
01:00:15.000 You can ship your pants right here.
01:00:17.000 You hear that?
01:00:18.000 I can ship my pants for free.
01:00:19.000 Wow.
01:00:20.000 I just may ship my pants.
01:00:21.000 Yeah, ship your pants.
01:00:22.000 Billy, you can ship your pants too.
01:00:23.000 I can't wait to ship my pants, Dad.
01:00:25.000 I just shipped my pants and it's very convenient.
01:00:28.000 Very convenient.
01:00:30.000 I just shipped my drawers.
01:00:31.000 I just shipped my nightie.
01:00:33.000 I just shipped my bed.
01:00:36.000 If you can't find what you're looking for in store, we'll find it at Kmart.com right now.
01:00:40.000 And ship it to you for free.
01:00:42.000 Women invented beer.
01:00:45.000 And now we put them in commercials where they're wearing bikinis.
01:00:49.000 So what we want you to do is rip up all of those... Stop, stop.
01:00:53.000 Rip up all those pictures of women in bikinis.
01:00:57.000 Send them to us, we will mulch them, make them into compost, and then we will give them to women brewers, which hasn't been a thing for several thousand years.
01:01:07.000 And they will take that mulch to make better hops.
01:01:10.000 So we are empowering women by mulching sexism.
01:01:15.000 If that is the most dumb female thing you've ever heard, then you're right.
01:01:23.000 ...pay homage to the founding mothers of beer.
01:01:25.000 They put us in bikinis.
01:01:28.000 Wow.
01:01:32.000 Look at this s***.
01:01:34.000 Wild!
01:01:35.000 It's time beer made it up to women.
01:01:37.000 So today, Miller Lite is on a mission to clean up not just their s***... I'm sorry, did I put hot girls in a beer can?
01:01:42.000 Miller Lite has been scouring the internet for all this s**t and buying it back so that he can turn it into good s**t for women brewers.
01:01:48.000 First we turn the bad s**t into compost.
01:01:51.000 Then we feed compost to worms.
01:01:53.000 Are you catching this?
01:01:54.000 They're going on eBay and buying pictures of hot chicks on beer and then turning it into plant food.
01:02:01.000 What woman brewers?
01:02:01.000 All two of them?
01:02:02.000 You see what I'm streaming?
01:02:03.000 Is that the dumbest thing that's ever been done in the world?
01:02:05.000 Look at the
01:02:24.000 Those are great.
01:02:26.000 Look at the women's march.
01:02:28.000 They misinterpreted a joke about a pussy grab.
01:02:31.000 And I think 10,000 or more, maybe tens of thousands of women showed up wearing what they called pussy hats, which were just pink hats that had weird square corners on them.
01:02:43.000 And they marched up and down the Capitol saying, you're not going to grab my vagina, including little girls, eight year old girls with signs that said, you're not grabbing my pussy.
01:02:52.000 That's embarrassing.
01:02:53.000 That is embarrassing.
01:02:54.000 Remember the free speech rally that Dr. Shiva had?
01:03:01.000 He was mad at me, by the way, for backing out.
01:03:03.000 I go, dude, this is turning into bullshit.
01:03:05.000 It's a trap.
01:03:05.000 It's another J6.
01:03:06.000 You should can it.
01:03:07.000 He's like, no, we're going to have it.
01:03:10.000 10,000 people stormed the streets of Boston saying no hate in Boston because Dr. Shiva wanted to have a free speech talk.
01:03:17.000 Not, not, he's brown.
01:03:18.000 There was different races there.
01:03:20.000 Boston together against hate.
01:03:22.000 Like, this stuff isn't just a misunderstanding.
01:03:25.000 It's truly, brutally embarrassing.
01:03:30.000 Are other countries this dumb?
01:03:31.000 Are they laughing at us?
01:03:32.000 They should be.
01:03:35.000 Cars get turned off.
01:03:37.000 In the movie, they are on the loose because his tattoo... Oh, he robbed a hospital, I think is his allegation.
01:03:45.000 So that's his lawyer trying to help him escape Dax Shepard.
01:03:48.000 And they stop because the authorities turned his car off.
01:03:52.000 Why are we slowing down?
01:03:53.000 Turned off my battery.
01:03:54.000 Turned off my battery?
01:03:56.000 Look how ugly that car is.
01:04:00.000 Look, how far is it?
01:04:01.000 Can we just take a cab or something?
01:04:06.000 The studio was really stingy with these effects.
01:04:11.000 And then you see a plane comes down.
01:04:17.000 Kind of an anti-cop moment.
01:04:19.000 Uh, GM is doing this.
01:04:20.000 I've heard cops talk about this, actually.
01:04:22.000 Where they will have a thing that you can shut down your car.
01:04:27.000 That sounds dubious.
01:04:29.000 I don't like this kind of stuff.
01:04:30.000 I don't like relinquishing control.
01:04:32.000 But we hated the CCTV cameras in New York in the late 90s when they first started making them ubiquitous across the city.
01:04:41.000 But I gotta admit, it led to a lot of dudes getting caught for punching an 84-year-old woman in the face and taking her purse.
01:04:48.000 The loss of privacy was nothing compared to the amount of pieces of shit we caught.
01:04:54.000 So maybe this will end up being good.
01:04:57.000 I don't know.
01:04:58.000 I don't like the concept of some other person being able to stop my car.
01:05:02.000 But we've seen a lot of bullshit chases like last night.
01:05:05.000 Where the guy had a cop on his roof.
01:05:07.000 Did we mention by the way?
01:05:09.000 I hope I updated that.
01:05:10.000 That guy, yeah we did.
01:05:11.000 He's gonna get five years.
01:05:12.000 He'll probably get out in three.
01:05:14.000 For breaking a cop's back.
01:05:17.000 Just part of the job.
01:05:20.000 Number 11, also within the car subject, cars are fucking stupid looking now.
01:05:25.000 They all look like little kids toys.
01:05:26.000 You know how little kid, like one-year-olds, they don't, you can't have sharp edges, they're gonna hurt themselves.
01:05:31.000 So everything has this sort of bubbly look.
01:05:33.000 And that's all cars.
01:05:34.000 A Ford Taurus is a Lexus, is a BMW.
01:05:38.000 It's one of my biggest pet peeves.
01:05:39.000 I hate the way cars all suck now.
01:05:42.000 Nimble, it's quick, it's entertaining to drive.
01:05:46.000 Doesn't that look like an idiocracy car?
01:05:49.000 The Mini!
01:05:50.000 Okay, we have the Countryman, and it's one of those vehicles that kind of gets under your skin, and once you own one... In the movie, cops drive these stupid little toy cars that look like big golf carts.
01:06:03.000 There, you see one there, very briefly.
01:06:07.000 Cops drive those.
01:06:09.000 If you guys are taking me back to that jail, just go ahead and shoot me, because there's no way that... That's the exact same car we just saw.
01:06:09.000 Go to 4-7.
01:06:22.000 Oh, here's your SUV thing, by the way.
01:06:24.000 It is pretty stunning when you get to take a look.
01:06:26.000 I couldn't guess which one is which.
01:06:29.000 Wow.
01:06:31.000 I know my car.
01:06:32.000 I could pick my car out, but that's... I blame women for this.
01:06:36.000 Someone figured out that women are the ones buying the family car and they go, OK, what can we tell them?
01:06:40.000 Tell them something nice.
01:06:41.000 OK, I'm going to tell them that my car is good for the environment and it saves the baby koalas because it has no sharp edges.
01:06:49.000 So it's more aerodynamic.
01:06:50.000 So it uses less gas.
01:06:52.000 Okay, let's make them all look like that then.
01:06:54.000 Find what women like and then just make them all like that.
01:06:58.000 I'm basically driving a Porsche Maserati.
01:07:01.000 Yeah.
01:07:01.000 It's the same body.
01:07:04.000 And it's, men like bold colors.
01:07:05.000 They like, you know, an orange Dukes of Hazzard car.
01:07:09.000 And women, they just want, what, basically an ovary on wheels.
01:07:17.000 Number 12.
01:07:19.000 There's a scene in the movie where he goes, this is the Secretary of State, and he goes, I'm the Secretary of State, brought to you by Carl's Jr.
01:07:26.000 So Carl's Jr.
01:07:27.000 is sponsoring a politician.
01:07:29.000 Right?
01:07:29.000 I don't know if I have that clip.
01:07:31.000 No, I don't.
01:07:32.000 But if you go to 4-8, you'll see that the CEO of Carl's Jr.
01:07:38.000 was almost the secretary of, what is it?
01:07:42.000 Labor Secretary.
01:07:45.000 You know what's funny?
01:07:46.000 It's even stupid how he's not the Labor Secretary.
01:07:49.000 He was a lawyer, CEO of Carl's Jr.
01:07:51.000 They said they want to unionize and they want at least a $15 minimum wage, which it is now.
01:07:56.000 And he said, that's not going to get you more money.
01:07:59.000 We're just going to automate more.
01:08:01.000 You're negotiating yourself out of a job.
01:08:03.000 And they went, oh, so you like exploiting the poor, huh?
01:08:07.000 Well, fuck you.
01:08:07.000 So that ruined his reputation because he's anti-poor.
01:08:11.000 And, uh, he had to give up on, um, his resume stunk.
01:08:15.000 He had to give up on being the Labor Secretary.
01:08:16.000 So we almost had a Labor Secretary brought to you by Carl's Jr.
01:08:22.000 And, uh, it didn't happen because we're too stupid.
01:08:27.000 We're too stupid to have this idiocracy scenario.
01:08:31.000 And then guess what happened?
01:08:33.000 Carl's Jr.'
01:08:34.000 's became totally automated.
01:08:37.000 This is exactly what he predicted.
01:08:39.000 The Secretary of Labor, who we didn't let be the Secretary of Labor, go to 13, is not the Secretary of Labor because he said fast food's gonna be run by robots.
01:08:50.000 Well, guess what?
01:08:51.000 Fast food is run by robots.
01:08:52.000 It happens in the movie, that's the Carl's Jr.
01:08:55.000 where you get all your food automated, and now it's happened in real life.
01:09:00.000 He was right!
01:09:02.000 And remember you, Ryan?
01:09:04.000 You remember you, right?
01:09:05.000 I remember me.
01:09:07.000 You went to McDonald's recently just up the street and they said you went up there and I don't know if it's because they were too stupid to understand your order or if they don't speak English.
01:09:15.000 Neither are great.
01:09:21.000 And they said they go, can you use a machine?
01:09:25.000 Yes.
01:09:25.000 Use a machine.
01:09:26.000 So a person sitting behind the register to direct you towards a machine.
01:09:30.000 Yeah.
01:09:32.000 Thanks for helping out.
01:09:34.000 So that's a pretty amazing one.
01:09:36.000 That we were too stupid to have this scenario that Idiocracy had.
01:09:42.000 And the proof in the pudding is, everything he said happened.
01:09:46.000 We did fully automate.
01:09:48.000 So those two are inexorably linked.
01:09:52.000 Number 14, this one I'm probably going to get mad talking about, but our justice system is toast.
01:09:58.000 I incessantly talk about Max and John getting four years for saying yes to a fight with Antifa.
01:10:03.000 Antifa refused to press charges.
01:10:06.000 You're supposed to be able to face your accuser?
01:10:09.000 Nope.
01:10:10.000 You're supposed to be judged by a jury of your peers?
01:10:12.000 Did you hear that fart?
01:10:14.000 No.
01:10:15.000 Nope, no jury of their peers.
01:10:17.000 If you're MAGA, if you're conservative, if you're me, the idea of me getting a jury in New York City or DC is 0%, completely impossible.
01:10:28.000 Joe Biggs and Ethan Nordin, the J6 boys, they knew what their verdict was going to be.
01:10:36.000 Secession.
01:10:37.000 What was it?
01:10:38.000 Seditious conspiracy.
01:10:40.000 They knew that was what they're doing now is they're waiting for the actual trial where they don't have a bunch of Antifa jurors.
01:10:45.000 They have three judges that are federal judges.
01:10:48.000 That's your only hope now because the actual justice system is
01:10:53.000 Zero chance?
01:10:54.000 Well, we have a 98% conviction rate with things that go to trial.
01:10:58.000 Doesn't that sound unusual to you?
01:10:59.000 98%?
01:11:00.000 It's really just the judge is punishing you for not taking a plea.
01:11:04.000 He's mad that you made him come to work.
01:11:09.000 Go to 1-5?
01:11:12.000 All this like Nazi stuff.
01:11:14.000 John Kinsman, white nationalist.
01:11:16.000 He went to jail because he's a Nazi.
01:11:20.000 His black children, black wife didn't see him because he's a white supremacist.
01:11:23.000 That's our justice system.
01:11:25.000 Play that for a bit.
01:11:26.000 This doesn't look remotely unusual.
01:11:28.000 I'm fixing to commensurate this trial here.
01:11:31.000 We gonna see if we can't come up with a verdict up in here.
01:11:36.000 Dude, we had this!
01:11:37.000 Remember the appeal?
01:12:05.000 We did a whole green screen on the appeal.
01:12:07.000 Look at their green screen at this big fancy courtroom.
01:12:11.000 It was three black female judges who hated Max and John and assumed they were white supremacists.
01:12:18.000 And then this Asian guy, he felt uncomfortable.
01:12:20.000 He left.
01:12:22.000 He just walked out of the room halfway through this appeal.
01:12:26.000 And then these three dumb bitches kept getting Max and John confused.
01:12:34.000 Unbelievable.
01:12:35.000 And then poor Ron Hart had to sit there and explain that they shouldn't be doing jail because of my hate speech.
01:12:43.000 No joke.
01:12:44.000 White supremacy clouds almost every trial involving a conservative these days.
01:12:49.000 And white supremacy doesn't exist.
01:12:52.000 It's not a thing.
01:12:54.000 We're dumber than Salem Witch.
01:12:55.000 Look, he's gone.
01:12:56.000 Bye bye!
01:12:58.000 I'm leaving the appeal.
01:13:01.000 Just play a second of that just to hear them.
01:13:06.000 None of that happened here.
01:13:08.000 These individuals, it was a fist-on-fist.
01:13:15.000 A good piece of evidence that you're not a racist.
01:13:19.000 Racists don't hang out with black dudes, and they certainly don't consider them friends.
01:13:22.000 Aren't they arguing the intent of him to cause permanent... We're getting too lost in the weeds here.
01:13:26.000 So yeah, the justice system is an absolute joke.
01:13:29.000 I have no confidence.
01:13:31.000 Oh, I spelled justice wrong!
01:13:35.000 I hate the justice system!
01:13:37.000 Everyone's stupid!
01:13:38.000 You don't even understand what justice is!
01:13:42.000 That's why there's no juxtics out there.
01:13:45.000 Uh, 15.
01:13:47.000 This one's kind of cheating.
01:13:48.000 I like to have round numbers like 10 or 20.
01:13:50.000 So this isn't exactly a trend.
01:13:52.000 Although, your honor, I would argue it's not a trend in the movie.
01:13:55.000 It only happened once.
01:13:57.000 So, uh... Yeah, this is him.
01:14:01.000 I like the way the cops talk to him.
01:14:03.000 This is to figure out what your aptitude's good at and get you a jail job while you're being a particular individual in jail.
01:14:10.000 A particular individual in jail.
01:14:13.000 So, we've seen that one, right?
01:14:15.000 If you skip ahead, you see he runs out of prison.
01:14:18.000 This is the IQ test.
01:14:22.000 Hi, excuse me.
01:14:24.000 Um, I'm actually supposed to be getting out of prison today, sir.
01:14:30.000 Yeah.
01:14:32.000 You're in the wrong line, dumbass.
01:14:34.000 Over there.
01:14:34.000 I'm sorry, I'm in a big dumbass.
01:14:37.000 Sorry.
01:14:38.000 Hey, uh, let this dumbass through.
01:14:45.000 So yeah, it happened.
01:14:49.000 Where was it now?
01:14:50.000 5-4.
01:14:55.000 But what town was that in?
01:14:59.000 Tennessee?
01:15:01.000 Tennessee.
01:15:01.000 So that guy, his cellmate is due to be released.
01:15:05.000 He takes the guy's ID, dresses, I guess dresses as him?
01:15:09.000 I don't know.
01:15:10.000 Grabs his stuff.
01:15:10.000 The guy's still asleep.
01:15:11.000 He's like, all right, I'm ready to go.
01:15:13.000 And they're like, okay, later.
01:15:15.000 Free to go!
01:15:16.000 Virginia.
01:15:19.000 The Shawshank Redemption?
01:15:20.000 That'd be funny if it said he was inspired by the film Idiocracy.
01:15:24.000 And then the COs go, well sorry, you should have gotten up earlier.
01:15:27.000 We need a body.
01:15:29.000 And you're gonna have to do his term now.
01:15:31.000 I assume he was rounded up.
01:15:33.000 Was he?
01:15:33.000 We gotta know if he was rounded up.
01:15:34.000 I should have looked into that.
01:15:37.000 What does it say there?
01:15:38.000 I can't read it.
01:15:40.000 It's usually around here.
01:15:44.000 Hurry up!
01:15:47.000 Oh, fuck, you're useless.
01:15:49.000 Warrant was issued for his arrest, adding charges of escape, criminal impersonation, forgery, and theft.
01:15:55.000 But it does not say that he got caught.
01:15:57.000 Huh.
01:15:59.000 Well, look up his name.
01:16:00.000 Now I gotta know.
01:16:02.000 I gotta know.
01:16:06.000 16, this one's kind of weird.
01:16:07.000 We're getting a little bit desperate here.
01:16:10.000 But the Starbucks Giving Handies.
01:16:13.000 Now, I lived in Taiwan for a little while, and I would walk into a barbershop and everyone would start acting weird if I sat in one of the chairs.
01:16:21.000 This is true of mainland China and Taiwan.
01:16:24.000 They started out with their barbershops, they were very competitive, so they would start giving a massage.
01:16:30.000 And then they started out saying, okay, a haircut and a handjob in the back room.
01:16:33.000 There you go.
01:16:34.000 And then guys didn't want, what is he now?
01:16:36.000 They're found at IHOP.
01:16:41.000 Arlie Nemo and John Garza.
01:16:42.000 How did two guys do it?
01:16:44.000 I don't know.
01:16:46.000 Deputy said anyone through a... Tunneled through a cell wall.
01:16:52.000 No, that's a totally different thing.
01:16:55.000 Genius.
01:16:58.000 This guy didn't tunnel through anything.
01:17:00.000 He walked out the front door.
01:17:02.000 You only get the finest news here, folks.
01:17:10.000 Yeah, so then they stopped doing haircuts.
01:17:12.000 When David Cross and I went to do a Vice Travel thing there, we kept going to brothels and having them cut our hair, and they didn't know how to do it.
01:17:20.000 They have the scissors and the combs.
01:17:22.000 Everything is there.
01:17:22.000 The chair is there.
01:17:23.000 They're just not qualified.
01:17:24.000 They're prostitutes.
01:17:27.000 So we would sit in the chair and they would be, because they have to keep that up when the police come by.
01:17:32.000 So they're sort of like, like this.
01:17:35.000 So that's been around forever.
01:17:38.000 And then we have, of course, the hooters of hair in Jersey.
01:17:45.000 What are you doing now, Ryan?
01:17:47.000 I was looking for, I found the guy, but it looks like they have not caught him yet.
01:17:52.000 That doesn't make sense.
01:17:55.000 Everything I'm looking at just says he escaped.
01:17:57.000 Did you Google his name in quotes and then hit news?
01:18:00.000 News.
01:18:01.000 Yep.
01:18:03.000 All right.
01:18:04.000 Well, let's look at this for now.
01:18:07.000 Okay, well, let's go back up to 5-5.
01:18:09.000 You know what was interesting about this movie, too?
01:18:11.000 Mike Judge was really worried about getting sued.
01:18:13.000 I guess he couldn't get Gatorade, and that's why they had to call it Brawnade or whatever.
01:18:17.000 But Starbucks, that says Starbucks, and the way the lawyers cleared it is they said, just use as many brands as possible, and then Starbucks can't say they were singled out.
01:18:28.000 Because now it's a dystopian thing where all the companies suck.
01:18:32.000 And they weren't happy about this.
01:18:33.000 Some say this is why the movie was so soft launched.
01:18:38.000 Because 20th Century Fox was getting grief from all these dudes.
01:18:47.000 Hey, come on, Joe.
01:18:48.000 I already told you, we'd all like a handjob, but we don't have time for it.
01:18:54.000 We'd all like a handjob, but we don't have time for it.
01:18:58.000 So they do that to all those things.
01:18:59.000 But yeah, we've been doing that for a long time now.
01:19:01.000 It's hard to sort of say that was a prediction.
01:19:03.000 5'6", you've got the hooters of hair.
01:19:05.000 5'7", you've got the baristas in lingerie.
01:19:09.000 Like, how is this different?
01:19:10.000 Go to 5'7".
01:19:13.000 How is this different from Starbucks?
01:19:14.000 I guess you don't get a handjob is the only difference.
01:19:19.000 Seems like a run-of-the-mill stylist job.
01:19:21.000 It's a fun job.
01:19:22.000 It's unusual, it's interesting, but it's a fun job.
01:19:25.000 And it's a job like, you know, everything else.
01:19:27.000 Not quite.
01:19:28.000 These stylists are wearing lingerie.
01:19:30.000 The salon is called a little off the top.
01:19:32.000 You get it.
01:19:33.000 And there's quite a bit off the bottom, too.
01:19:35.000 It doesn't bother me.
01:19:36.000 Doesn't bother the haircut clients either.
01:19:37.000 So you're going to get a cloner.
01:19:38.000 And then there's going to be hand jobs.
01:19:41.000 Go to 5-8.
01:19:42.000 At least the baristas in lingerie, well that must be hard on your feet wearing high heels all day.
01:19:47.000 The baristas in lingerie, they're sort of separated by a box.
01:19:52.000 You know, feeling confident and making a lot of money, supporting myself.
01:19:58.000 I want a white chocolate with white coffee.
01:20:02.000 Ice?
01:20:03.000 No hot?
01:20:04.000 Is that how you guys want it?
01:20:07.000 I want something super sweet and creamy.
01:20:09.000 Okay.
01:20:11.000 So yeah, we're already there.
01:20:16.000 This one's disturbing.
01:20:18.000 In 17, the Mark of the Beast, they all have to have a UPC code on their wrist.
01:20:23.000 This is in the Bible, folks.
01:20:25.000 Don't do it.
01:20:27.000 But Americans are doing it, and Europeans, Northern Europeans, are really into it.
01:20:32.000 I saw all over Stockholm, Sweden, they really like doing it.
01:20:35.000 Scandinavia there, it's big.
01:20:37.000 I saw some Asian woman, she uses her chip to buy things, to get on the subway.
01:20:43.000 They use it to get inside their building, and they say, no, it'll be fine.
01:20:49.000 Ew.
01:20:50.000 That guy's got big circles in his skin and his hands.
01:20:54.000 There you go.
01:20:56.000 Satanic!
01:20:58.000 This is satanic.
01:20:58.000 Nice scarf, you twat.
01:21:03.000 People are doing it voluntarily, too.
01:21:05.000 Which I find profoundly disturbing.
01:21:07.000 Look at 6-1.
01:21:08.000 Oh, Lord.
01:21:17.000 You ever heard of a bookmark?
01:21:18.000 Some people just look really grossed out.
01:21:20.000 I put my hand up and I let them poke at it and they freak out.
01:21:25.000 That's worse.
01:21:26.000 I'd say that's worse.
01:21:44.000 Then, um, Idiocracy.
01:21:46.000 You could cover up your UPC code in Idiocracy.
01:21:49.000 You can't cover up a chip.
01:21:51.000 We do it on animals.
01:21:53.000 To monitor their behavior.
01:21:55.000 And here you are doing it to yourself, you fucking freak.
01:22:00.000 I would rather die, than get a chip implanted.
01:22:03.000 No, let me rephrase that.
01:22:05.000 I would fight to the death if the government mandated that we all have to have chips.
01:22:09.000 I mean, I guess they did with the vaccine, right?
01:22:11.000 That was a form of... They say that the DNA is smart.
01:22:14.000 The RNA.
01:22:15.000 So that was kind of a form of being forced to put something in your body.
01:22:21.000 Okay, speaking of your body, we're coming up to the end here.
01:22:24.000 18.
01:22:25.000 Everyone's a whore.
01:22:28.000 In the movie they use a prostitute Maya Rudolph who gets to practice her black voice and then they get to they get to the Idiocracy Land, which I think is 500 years in the future and Prostitution is totally normal.
01:22:43.000 It's everywhere.
01:22:44.000 Everyone's fucking like rabbits.
01:22:45.000 Everyone's a whore and That's where we're at today, right?
01:22:51.000 It's totally mainstream to have an OnlyFans.
01:22:53.000 You just showed it.
01:22:54.000 You said it was advertised on boxing shorts.
01:22:56.000 Girls, comedians, get up on stage.
01:22:58.000 They proudly talk about their OnlyFans.
01:23:00.000 OnlyFans is a form of prostitution.
01:23:03.000 What's this?
01:23:04.000 The New York Times?
01:23:05.000 Louding it is just a fantastic thing.
01:23:07.000 Sex work.
01:23:08.000 They call it sex work.
01:23:09.000 It's not even stigmatized.
01:23:11.000 It's a type of work.
01:23:12.000 What type of work do you do?
01:23:14.000 Oh, I do sex work.
01:23:15.000 No, you're a whore.
01:23:17.000 It's bad to be a whore.
01:23:19.000 Don't do it.
01:23:21.000 Call me old-fashioned.
01:23:22.000 All right, this is my favorite one next to Crocs.
01:23:27.000 Number 19, the movie Ass.
01:23:31.000 I want you to watch this first.
01:23:34.000 Watch the movie Ass.
01:23:36.000 I have something shocking to tell you.
01:23:49.000 So that movie is a movie called Ass, right?
01:23:52.000 And it's just a picture of an ass that farts.
01:23:54.000 It won the Oscar for Best Film.
01:23:56.000 It also won Best Screenplay.
01:23:59.000 The extras that they used for that scene, it was shot in Texas.
01:24:02.000 It's from a local reform school.
01:24:06.000 And they brought everyone in there.
01:24:08.000 Mike Judge was like, okay, I'm going to have to tell them to laugh and pretend that they think it's funny.
01:24:12.000 He didn't do any directing.
01:24:13.000 They were all laughing their heads off at the movie Ass.
01:24:18.000 So in a weird way, this is why it's my favorite one, you're seeing the prediction happen live.
01:24:24.000 Those people are not acting.
01:24:27.000 They're genuinely laughing at the movie Ass.
01:24:31.000 They're idiots!
01:24:34.000 Show it again.
01:24:36.000 Now that we know the truth.
01:24:38.000 That's all.
01:24:38.000 Dust Bowl had ravaged food supplies and the number one movie in the country was called Ass.
01:24:54.000 And Luke Wilson probably isn't even acting in that scene either because he was there when Mike Judge didn't direct them and it would be weird to be in a room of people laughing their heads off at an ass so I don't I think that's a reality show you just saw not a movie and it's in a movie weird and then number 20
01:25:15.000 You talk like a fag, and your shit's all retarded.
01:25:19.000 We regularly say retarded.
01:25:21.000 I think I've said it maybe 600 times this episode.
01:25:24.000 We call each other retards.
01:25:27.000 We have a show on the network called Full Mental Retard, right?
01:25:33.000 Like, that could be a show in idiocracy.
01:25:36.000 I did a show, a segment on my old show called Fiction is for Fags.
01:25:41.000 Have you got that clip, Ryan?
01:25:44.000 I do.
01:25:44.000 Where I burned books and told you what not to read and just talked about non-fiction books.
01:25:51.000 So, retard, fag, yeah, we talk like that.
01:25:55.000 We're stupid.
01:25:57.000 If you could pull up The Fictionist for fags, that would be fantastic.
01:26:01.000 Well, don't want to sound like a dick or nothing, but it says on your chart that you're fucked up.
01:26:07.000 You talk like a fag and your shit's all retarded.
01:26:10.000 What I do is...
01:26:12.000 So we're there.
01:26:13.000 That could be censored dot TV right now.
01:26:16.000 Where's the clip dude?
01:26:18.000 Here's it.
01:26:20.000 There's a lot of content here in the CRTV archives that people don't realize.
01:26:32.000 But yeah, we're there in idiocracy and I'm just as guilty as you.
01:26:41.000 I found him.
01:26:42.000 I found that guy.
01:26:42.000 Oh, you did?
01:26:43.000 I did.
01:26:43.000 He got apprehended the day after.
01:26:45.000 It's kind of hard.
01:26:47.000 I mean, being on the run must suck.
01:27:05.000 No enforcement was then contacted to hunt down Roman who remained on the loose for one day until he was taken back into custody on April 18th.
01:27:11.000 His transfer back to Colwitz... What, it was Britain?
01:27:15.000 It was British?
01:27:16.000 No.
01:27:16.000 Oh.
01:27:17.000 Why are you reading it with a British accent?
01:27:18.000 It's more trustable.
01:27:19.000 It's from the Daily Mail.
01:27:21.000 Okay.
01:27:22.000 So they got him a couple days later.
01:27:25.000 Oh well.
01:27:26.000 They got that nigga!
01:27:30.000 Okay, change the backdrop to Proud Boys, or Jan 6, whatever you want.
01:27:35.000 There's a couple things I want to mention.
01:27:37.000 So, the BBC lady that I spoke to, we've been corresponding, it could be a hit piece, risk assessment.
01:27:44.000 You sometimes take risks.
01:27:46.000 She's obsessed with Enrique, and she said that he knew he was getting arrested.
01:27:52.000 They said, we're going to arrest you when you get here on Jan 4.
01:27:55.000 He's like, okay.
01:27:56.000 I don't know the whole story.
01:27:59.000 Yeah, why go?
01:28:00.000 And then she also alleges that he brought those magazines in his bag so it wouldn't just be a slap on the wrist and he'd have to do some time and he could avoid the riot.
01:28:10.000 That implies that the Feds knew there was going to be a riot or he knew there was going to be a riot or it was a federal, it was instituted by Feds.
01:28:20.000 Like if you go to 1-7,
01:28:25.000 The FBI said we can't give you the 11,000 hours of footage because you'll see too many feds.
01:28:34.000 ...individuals were inside the Capitol to which the SSA responded back and I was privy to these conversations firsthand.
01:28:41.000 Why can't you show us, why can't you just send us, give us access to the 11,000 hours of video that's available?
01:28:48.000 Because there may be, may be,
01:28:54.000 That's fishy.
01:28:55.000 And again, if Feds were deeply embedded in that riot, they either knew there was a plan and let it happen, or there was no plan.
01:29:21.000 And now there's kind of a third option.
01:29:23.000 They made something happen.
01:29:26.000 I'm kind of leaning on number three these days.
01:29:30.000 I thought this was an interesting take from a lefty.
01:29:34.000 I like to see sane lefties.
01:29:35.000 They're like birds in the wild.
01:29:37.000 I mean, sorry, exotic birds in the wild.
01:29:41.000 1-8, I was so disgusted by the Jan 6 riot that I deleted my Twitter account.
01:29:45.000 I wrote introspective pieces on wanting to be part of the solution and I never liked Trump and I thought Biden beat him.
01:29:53.000 Then he goes, the Durham report, this is that we knew that Russia was not colluding with Donald Trump but we lied and pursued that matter anyway, tortured him, threw people in jail, bugged, illegally wiretapped people, way worse than Watergate.
01:30:09.000 The Durham report is 100 times worse than Jan Senk's.
01:30:10.000 It didn't reveal a handful of nuts getting out of hand and stealing election.
01:30:16.000 It revealed our highest law enforcement agency trying to undo an election on zero evidence.
01:30:21.000 It didn't disrupt a formal nomination proceeding for three hours.
01:30:25.000 It disrupted a presidency for three years.
01:30:32.000 And then lastly, on the subject of Jan 6 Proud Boys stuff, so it's come out, 1-9, that a cop tried to help out Tarrio.
01:30:43.000 Big news, Lieutenant Shane Lammon, the supervisor of the department's intelligence branch, has been indicted and arrested for obstructing the investigation into Proud Boys' destruction of a DC Church's Black Lives Matter banner in 2020.
01:30:59.000 Now this was when some moron stole a flag from a historically black church and they burned it.
01:31:05.000 They didn't want Black Lives Matter on a church.
01:31:07.000 It's not a good optic, but I understand what they're doing.
01:31:11.000 And then Enrique decided he's going to take the blame for it because he's considered Afro-Cuban and it'll be less easy for a jury to throw a white dude in jail.
01:31:21.000 Again, I don't know what's going on with Enrique.
01:31:25.000 I heard he was bad out in Florida, and the Fed stuff was number 37 on the list of bad things.
01:31:33.000 But if he wasn't a Fed, that's a noble thing to do, to take the blame for something he didn't do, because you know the jury will be kinder.
01:31:41.000 If he is a Fed, well, this is a bizarre game of cat and mouse where people pretend to be arrested for things.
01:31:48.000 I mean, he did go to jail, right?
01:31:50.000 That guy's wearing a Blacks for Trump shirt.
01:31:52.000 I never noticed that before.
01:31:53.000 Weird.
01:31:55.000 But in that, if you go back to that tweet, you can see that the cop said, he said, I don't want you guys getting jammed up.
01:32:03.000 I support your organization.
01:32:06.000 It's I think it's the next one.
01:32:09.000 So there's two.
01:32:09.000 This is the latter of the two.
01:32:11.000 No, no.
01:32:12.000 That's the latter of the two pictures.
01:32:13.000 It's the next tweet.
01:32:17.000 He said, I support you and all you do.
01:32:19.000 I don't want to see your group's name dragged through the mud because we're a pro cop organization.
01:32:23.000 Now, what I find interesting about the other people commenting on this is how they go.
01:32:28.000 Yeah, I knew it.
01:32:29.000 Go down.
01:32:33.000 We're shocked, this is the collective DC shocked face.
01:32:36.000 Working forces and burning crosses in this economy.
01:32:40.000 I looked up that guy, he's a lawyer.
01:32:42.000 So, this is proof that the Proud Boys are above the law and it's proof that the police are in the KKK, like the Rage Against the Machine song.
01:32:53.000 Law and order for thee, but not for me.
01:32:55.000 They're totally fucking blind to the fact that Proud Boys are in prison right now
01:33:00.000 And two of them just finished four-year sentences for nothing.
01:33:05.000 And Antifa's throwing Molotov cocktails into cop cars and getting parole.
01:33:11.000 So, that's how far gone we are.
01:33:14.000 We have one piece of evidence of one cop maybe making things kind of better, and that's proof that the whole system is pro Proud Boys.
01:33:25.000 Not from where I'm sitting, folks.
01:33:27.000 Not from where I'm sitting.
01:33:30.000 What do you think of that, Ryan?
01:33:34.000 I don't even know if you want to know what I want to think.
01:33:37.000 Well, no, I want to hear about it.
01:33:38.000 Alright, well, I think it's a disgrace.
01:33:42.000 Yeah, I can't hear you.
01:33:43.000 I think it's a disgrace.
01:33:44.000 I also think- Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
01:33:49.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
01:33:55.000 Let me touch it.
01:33:56.000 I said, that's not gingham, that's houndstooth you buffoon.
01:33:59.000 This is a letter from a lady.
01:34:06.000 The effects of Gavin's performance art practice.
01:34:12.000 I was a subscriber who can- this is a woman.
01:34:14.000 I was a subscriber who cancelled because of Gavin's performance art.
01:34:18.000 This is when I, uh, allegedly faked an arrest.
01:34:21.000 I knew I would return, however, because you, AIU, and Kumia are just so wonderful, but I thought it would important to share how Gavin's art changed the way I interact with your content.
01:34:30.000 When I saw the tweet a month or two ago asking to retweet information about a January 6th protester being persecuted, I normally would have retweeted it.
01:34:38.000 However, because I am now clear on the scope of Gavin's performance art practice, I did not.
01:34:43.000 I bookmarked it and planned to double-check the info and then retweet.
01:34:48.000 I never went back and did that.
01:34:53.000 Also, it is weird that so many, as the kids say, sus characters have orbited the channel.
01:34:58.000 Loomer, Ali Alexander, Milo, Enrique Tarrio, Jack Murphy.
01:35:02.000 However, when I mentioned this to one of my friends, he assured me that someone involved with as many lawsuits as Gavin probably isn't a fed.
01:35:10.000 I sincerely enjoy hearing your stories about your wife and kids, in addition to the ones about your parents, and share them often with my husband.
01:35:17.000 Sincerely, proud Karen, Sarah Alexander.
01:35:20.000 Well, let's look back at the sus characters there.
01:35:24.000 Enrique Tarrio, yes.
01:35:25.000 The Proud Boys threatened the establishment and that meant the feds had to come down hard on it.
01:35:32.000 So you're going to see feds in any organization that is a threat to the deep state.
01:35:37.000 They go where their enemies are.
01:35:41.000 Jack Murphy, yeah.
01:35:43.000 I mean, he never came out as a fed.
01:35:47.000 He came out as like this be a man guy who used to do porn.
01:35:52.000 I don't know.
01:35:52.000 What's sus about that?
01:35:53.000 And he wasn't quote-unquote sus at the time.
01:35:57.000 Just a little grody, but that's, you know.
01:35:59.000 Milo?
01:36:00.000 Yeah, I guess.
01:36:04.000 He's been accused of some scams and stuff.
01:36:07.000 Ali Alexander.
01:36:09.000 Okay, so I know Ali Alexander.
01:36:10.000 The allegation is that he was grooming young men.
01:36:13.000 Does that mean I'm grooming young men?
01:36:15.000 I don't understand.
01:36:16.000 And then Loomer.
01:36:17.000 What has she done that's bad?
01:36:19.000 Like, there's all this infighting within the right because I don't know why, actually.
01:36:24.000 Maybe it's an alpha thing.
01:36:26.000 Matty always said this about the Hells Angels.
01:36:30.000 Because it attracts so many alphas, they're constantly warring at each other and infighting for leadership positions.
01:36:36.000 And maybe because you can't really be a wimp on the right these days.
01:36:40.000 You have to be, I'm not gonna say tough, but you know what I mean?
01:36:44.000 Thick-skinned is a better way of saying it.
01:36:45.000 So when thick-skinned people are together, they sort of go at each other.
01:36:49.000 But if your list included a bunch of people who turned out to be feds and they were all my friends, that would be different.
01:36:54.000 It seems to be what you're implying there.
01:36:57.000 And for the record, that joke, whatever it was, I didn't get to complete it because someone spilled the beans, cost me $35,000 in subscriptions.
01:37:05.000 So I think I paid a fair price.
01:37:11.000 I also, not to go too far behind the fourth wall, but like, I thought it was a really good way of showing the bloodlust for me to suffer.
01:37:22.000 The media won't talk about me because they don't want people to go here, but if there's something like me failing, or being arrested, or I promise you, if censored.tv goes bankrupt, it's going to be just as popular with the media as Vice going bankrupt.
01:37:36.000 I'll suddenly be back on the front pages.
01:37:39.000 So I wanted to showcase that.
01:37:41.000 But I was worried about you.
01:37:43.000 Dude, I'm worried every fucking day of my life.
01:37:47.000 You should see my security system at my house.
01:37:50.000 I've had armed guards stay overnight at my house several times due to death threats.
01:37:56.000 You want to talk about worrying?
01:37:58.000 People threaten my wife and kids in this mailbag on a regular basis.
01:38:04.000 If it's it's your joke to make that's what I didn't get the outrage for I understand that it's not so chill making people worry about you But it's it's a reality.
01:38:11.000 That's why people believed it because it's a reality that could absolutely come true So it's not like you're you know, I don't know.
01:38:18.000 I also fired you we pretended Joe Tonelli worked here Ryan was here when Joe Tonelli was here Banning the controls Joe is way too stupid
01:38:29.000 To figure that out.
01:38:30.000 We shot at each other with a rifle on the show.
01:38:34.000 The fight was real.
01:38:35.000 We had that fight at your house.
01:38:36.000 The fight was real.
01:38:37.000 We do.
01:38:38.000 We did a marathon where we looped eight hours for five days.
01:38:42.000 We did a real 24 hour marathon.
01:38:44.000 Anyway.
01:38:47.000 We like playing a little prank.
01:38:48.000 We've been doing this for a long, long time.
01:38:50.000 Remember, alright, can we say the thing about the masks?
01:38:53.000 What was that again?
01:38:54.000 At the old studio, the masks.
01:38:56.000 We would have one frame of you just with like a monkey mask.
01:38:59.000 Oh yeah, I forgot all about that.
01:39:00.000 We bought different masks and we would put it in for one frame and people caught it.
01:39:04.000 One time we got a call on the live show like, hey, I've been noticing there's some weird glimpses of a guy in a mask and we just hung up on him and we just never mentioned it.
01:39:13.000 We like, I don't know, it's fun.
01:39:17.000 Hey Gavin, say the following out loud to yourself over and over until you find the mistake.
01:39:22.000 It's not hard to differentiate between a sunset and a Scotsman in a bad mood.
01:39:29.000 Where's the mistake?
01:39:31.000 I let it slide the first time, but you did it again on last night's show.
01:39:34.000 It's a cute joke.
01:39:35.000 Stop fucking it up with your typos.
01:39:39.000 It's not hard to differentiate between a sunset and a Scotsman in a bad mood.
01:39:43.000 Am I getting the word differentiate wrong?
01:39:44.000 It has never been hard to tell the difference between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.
01:39:50.000 That just sounds like there's colloquial differences there.
01:39:53.000 Yeah, are you mad?
01:39:54.000 Why are you mad, sir?
01:39:57.000 Are you mad that I'm not quoting the saying verbatim perfectly?
01:40:00.000 Like Ryan just did?
01:40:03.000 It's the same joke.
01:40:05.000 How is it a typo?
01:40:06.000 I'm gonna email this guy back.
01:40:09.000 How is it a typo?
01:40:15.000 I mean, I think the one that Ryan played is the authentic one.
01:40:19.000 I think that mine gets the exact same point across and the same funniness of it.
01:40:24.000 Anyway, weird.
01:40:26.000 By the way, when we were mentioning the prank, this is something I just remembered.
01:40:31.000 We weren't like, oh, this is gonna make the news, oh, everybody's gonna care about this.
01:40:36.000 I didn't know that people would reach out and be like, hey, you guys okay?
01:40:39.000 To that degree.
01:40:39.000 Oh, I absolutely knew that the Huffington Post, Daily Beast, all those losers would be giddy with glee that I was possibly in trouble.
01:40:51.000 Right.
01:40:52.000 They loved it.
01:40:53.000 I knew that.
01:40:53.000 But that definitely wasn't the goal.
01:40:54.000 What do you mean it definitely wasn't the goal?
01:40:56.000 Now you're telling me what I was trying to do?
01:40:58.000 Well, the thing that makes me sick is people thought that we did it for attention, for publicity, which is not the case.
01:41:03.000 No, I did it to lampoon the left and their voracious lust for the suffering of their enemies.
01:41:11.000 Just like the Karen with the city bike, you know?
01:41:14.000 That would be, if that was fake, that would be a perfect example of lampooning everyone's darkest side.
01:41:26.000 Your boy, not only the bank, not only, your boy, wait, Ben Crump race grifting Morgan Stanley.
01:41:33.000 Your boy, not the only bank he's involved in shaking down either.
01:41:36.000 Crump and his BLM friends are like the 1950s mafia with this shit.
01:41:41.000 Surprised you haven't mentioned this on the show.
01:41:44.000 Link below this story, also made it to Bloomberg, though predictably his name was buried, buried, I still have a British accent with that word, in a middle paragraph, not the headline.
01:41:55.000 I would kill for that pin.
01:41:59.000 I have scoured his website.
01:42:01.000 Can someone... I'm not advocating for crime, but can someone get that from him, please?
01:42:08.000 He must have a bunch.
01:42:09.000 You don't make one pin.
01:42:11.000 He literally has a bird which is the bald eagle pin.
01:42:14.000 It's from the same quote.
01:42:17.000 It's not a coincidence.
01:42:17.000 He has the bald eagle initiative.
01:42:19.000 Oh!
01:42:20.000 What?
01:42:21.000 That looks very similar.
01:42:24.000 No, it doesn't.
01:42:26.000 It does.
01:42:27.000 Zoom in on that.
01:42:29.000 Pull that shit up, Jamie.
01:42:30.000 Oh, that never occurred to me, that he just bought an eagle pin online.
01:42:33.000 Yeah, I mean he doesn't have like a pin factory, right?
01:42:36.000 I mean, or does he?
01:42:37.000 Wait, that looks very similar to this one here.
01:42:41.000 We got straight... Zoom in on his pin.
01:42:44.000 A V-shaped wing.
01:42:48.000 Yeah, it's a little different.
01:42:49.000 I mean, I'm sure it's... No, it's got to be the exact one.
01:42:51.000 He should sell them.
01:42:53.000 Oh, that looks like it.
01:42:54.000 That one here?
01:42:55.000 Yeah.
01:42:55.000 But it's facing the wrong way.
01:42:56.000 Yeah, it's facing the wrong way.
01:42:57.000 He doesn't have something.
01:42:58.000 He's got something in his hand there, in his claws.
01:43:01.000 I guess it's justice.
01:43:02.000 A Klansman.
01:43:03.000 Yeah.
01:43:04.000 He's got a Klan hood.
01:43:06.000 Civil rights attorney Ben Crump filed a lawsuit on behalf of Anthony Fletcher against Morgan Stanley, one of the world's largest blah, blah, blah.
01:43:12.000 Fletcher, a recruiter, was contracted to hire black talent for the financial firm for seven years.
01:43:18.000 In the 25-page complaint, Fletcher, who is black, claimed that only 16 of the 200 highly qualified diverse candidates he sourced were hired for management roles.
01:43:30.000 So they hire a guy to hire more blacks.
01:43:33.000 He brings them 200 and they go, I only like 65 of these.
01:43:37.000 That doesn't look gold to me.
01:43:42.000 He wears a gold eagle lapel pin?
01:43:44.000 That seems false.
01:43:45.000 Why don't we call him and just say, hi, we're from whatever, Massachusetts University, we really like, we want to support you, and we will do a financial donation, but at our next swap meet, we want to wear your pin.
01:43:59.000 Right.
01:44:00.000 Because we want to show our love and admiration for the Bald Eagle Initiative, which is sort of true.
01:44:09.000 We definitely want to get involved.
01:44:12.000 Get involved!
01:44:13.000 Get into it!
01:44:15.000 Beer logo submission.
01:44:16.000 Gavin, here's my beer shirt submission.
01:44:18.000 I knew this would take a long time.
01:44:20.000 That's pretty good.
01:44:22.000 Pretty, pretty, pretty good.
01:44:24.000 I've managed to meet some really talented designers through this t-shirt competition.
01:44:37.000 Hey Gavin, this is my four-month-old daughter named Sophia.
01:44:40.000 She means everything to me.
01:44:41.000 I just wanted to pass on some of her joy to the audience and I hope this helps push some of these fag baby monsters to get married and make some babies, as you have always preached.
01:44:49.000 I like you more than a friend.
01:45:03.000 Here's one Five Margaritas Lady.
01:45:05.000 This has been going around.
01:45:07.000 Not sure if this is sprinkles, but she definitely commanded that crowd.
01:45:10.000 She had them aiding her bid at the end.
01:45:11.000 Great crowd work.
01:45:16.000 You buy her one margarita, she will spread her legs!
01:45:28.000 If you buy her two margaritas, she will pounce right on your penis!
01:45:35.000 After three margaritas, she will grab your penis and put it in her mouth!
01:45:49.000 Four margaritas!
01:45:51.000 Three!
01:45:51.000 Four!
01:45:57.000 She will grab your penis and ram it right up her anus!
01:46:02.000 I like how she's using the proper medical terms.
01:46:06.000 2, 3, 4, 5!
01:46:08.000 That's a lot of margaritas.
01:46:12.000 She will strap it on and pick you up!
01:46:25.000 I didn't know this song was about anal sex.
01:46:26.000 It's about anal strapping on, and yeah.
01:46:30.000 Yes, it is.
01:46:32.000 That's just a huge tub of lube.
01:46:35.000 I got lube in the coconut, baby band over, and I got some... Brian Callen getting punked.
01:46:43.000 Like the top comments said on that video you played earlier, Brian Callen had to have paid the Cro-Mag dude to say that.
01:46:49.000 He hikes his feet under his ass when he sits, for fuck's sakes.
01:46:53.000 Yeah, I hate that.
01:46:55.000 I've seen podcasts where guys kick off their shoes, like Burt Kreischer and stuff, kicks off their shoes and then they sit like crisscross applesauce on a chair with their toes out.
01:47:05.000 Dude, you're on TV.
01:47:06.000 I don't even want to see your socks.
01:47:08.000 The hypnotist that I had on the podcast, he was talking about this guy who was 60 years old, who was standing on the top of a hill, and he was looking down, and he was like, well, why don't you go down?
01:47:17.000 He goes, no, those guys are down there.
01:47:18.000 They used to bully me in high school.
01:47:19.000 He's 60, and the guys used to bully him in high school.
01:47:23.000 He was waiting for them to leave before he went down.
01:47:25.000 That's sad.
01:47:25.000 Whoa.
01:47:26.000 He was looking down.
01:47:27.000 You know what happened to me?
01:47:28.000 I got bullied for a full year, and it turned me into a fucking, if somebody tried to bully me, I'll show up at your fucking house and kill you.
01:47:34.000 That's what happens.
01:47:35.000 I get so angry.
01:47:37.000 I remember seeing this when it came out and I remember thinking Brian Callen's a pussy because Joe Rogan talked him down and Joe Rogan knows him.
01:47:53.000 But now with fresh eyes, John Joseph eyes, it's possible that Joe and Straub there are dressing him down and they don't know that he actually is a brawler.
01:48:03.000 Right.
01:48:03.000 He's not crying in this segment.
01:48:06.000 So maybe we misread it the first time we saw it and in this argument Brian's right and Joe has no idea that Brian does kick ass.
01:48:15.000 And the fact that he does kick ass, he's not like in a rush to be like, no, no, no, really I do.
01:48:20.000 Cause that's not what a badass would do.
01:48:21.000 But he does do that.
01:48:23.000 You've talked to too many guys that let you say shit like that.
01:48:26.000 And then it becomes like vernacular.
01:48:28.000 This is what I do.
01:48:30.000 All those people that I know, all those people that when I first met you, all those people you used to hang around with, those are all toxic and they've ruined the way you're allowed to communicate with people because they said stupid shit.
01:48:41.000 Maybe, like that doesn't prove that he's not a good fighter.
01:48:43.000 Right.
01:48:44.000 It's just Joe assumes he, and I did too, but I don't see John Joseph as a liar.
01:49:10.000 That's his whole deal.
01:49:12.000 He's like, be real.
01:49:13.000 Maybe he's a badass who can't prove it verbally.
01:49:16.000 Yeah.
01:49:18.000 Henry Ruggs, an NFL football player, formerly with the Raiders, killed a 23-year-old girl.
01:49:24.000 He could potentially get three years in prison with a plea deal.
01:49:29.000 So, this goes back to our stupid justice system.
01:49:33.000 Contrast that with Max, John, and this poor old bastard.
01:49:37.000 How long until it's illegal to be white, or are we already there?
01:49:45.000 The Department of Justice wants him to look at that.
01:49:47.000 You get wasted and you murder a little girl, young lady, and you mock a politician.
01:49:55.000 That's really what he's doing right there.
01:49:57.000 He's mocking a politician.
01:49:58.000 That's his crime.
01:50:00.000 Sure, there's trespassing, other stuff like that, but what's he really doing?
01:50:05.000 He's ridiculing the state.
01:50:08.000 And Comancho ain't taking that.
01:50:10.000 No way!
01:50:11.000 You're a fag.
01:50:12.000 Your shit's all retarded.
01:50:14.000 Alright, let's get to the final vid!
01:50:32.000 Here's an unusual place to live.
01:50:35.000 I kinda, I like conflict, and I would like to be on this street.
01:50:43.000 It looks like it's definitely not boring.
01:50:46.000 Let's check it out.
01:50:50.000 Okay, that's a trans house.
01:50:54.000 That's a Black Lives Matter gay house, I guess.
01:50:57.000 And these are the neighbors.
01:51:00.000 God hates fags.
01:51:02.000 Fag marriage dooms nations.
01:51:04.000 Fear God.
01:51:06.000 Is that a church?
01:51:08.000 What is that venue?
01:51:09.000 What kind of events do they hold there?
01:51:12.000 We should play there at the end racism tour.
01:51:17.000 And just start making out with each other.
01:51:21.000 That's a landmark.
01:51:22.000 Like if I'm in that town I have to go see that with my own eyes.
01:51:27.000 Anyway, fun stuff.
01:51:28.000 Have a great weekend, guys.
01:51:30.000 Try to stay off your phones.
01:51:31.000 Spend time with your kids.
01:51:32.000 If you're single, don't Netflix, binge, get out there, meet chicks.
01:51:36.000 You know, you guys, you young men, you should try bombing.
01:51:39.000 It's funny.
01:51:40.000 You have a great story to tell your friends.
01:51:42.000 I went over there and I said, can I buy you a drink?
01:51:45.000 And she said, no, I have a boyfriend.
01:51:47.000 And then I had overheard her saying she was single.
01:51:49.000 And then she goes, yeah, I guess I was lying because I don't find you attractive.
01:51:54.000 And then I said, I'm not.
01:51:57.000 And walked away.
01:51:58.000 Now, that's humiliating.
01:52:00.000 It's not fun at the moment.
01:52:02.000 But you now have a great story to tell your friends.
01:52:04.000 You can laugh your heads off at how you bombed.
01:52:07.000 You should try to bomb.
01:52:09.000 You know one trick we used to do?
01:52:10.000 Me and Sharky, we'd go up and we'd pretend we were shit-faced out of our minds.
01:52:15.000 I mean, we'd be like...
01:52:17.000 Oh, you two are so pretty.
01:52:19.000 And they'd be like, oh really?
01:52:21.000 You like us, do you?
01:52:22.000 Oh yeah, you should take a bath together.
01:52:26.000 Both naked in a bath.
01:52:31.000 And they're like, okay buddy, thanks a lot.
01:52:33.000 And then I go, hey, watch this, you want to see something cool?
01:52:36.000 Watch this.
01:52:37.000 Sober as a judge.
01:52:37.000 Hi, how are you?
01:52:39.000 I instantly became sober.
01:52:40.000 That's magic.
01:52:42.000 That'd be a good, it was a good conversation starter.
01:52:44.000 One time, I'm sure I've told you this before, one time we did it and the girl goes bullshit.
01:52:49.000 I go, what do you mean?
01:52:50.000 She goes, you're still wasted.
01:52:51.000 I go, what?
01:52:52.000 The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
01:52:54.000 The able was I, I saw Elba, woo-doo, following your finger.
01:52:57.000 What do you mean?
01:52:58.000 I'm faking?
01:52:59.000 This is fake?
01:53:01.000 She was just very dumb, I guess.
01:53:02.000 Dumb bitch.
01:53:05.000 So yeah, get out there, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.