Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S4E26 - STEVE, HOLD IT!

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.

00:00:22.000 Maradona, he's got work in the morning.

00:00:25.000 Maradona had a doner kebab.

00:00:28.000 Maradona on the walk of shame, the horror.

00:00:32.000 Maradona and he's got a big game, the lauder.

00:00:34.000 Now he's stingy in the manager's call.

00:00:38.000 With Dusty Mull, just a key on the ball.

00:00:41.000 Diego!

00:00:44.000 You go Maradona You go Maradona Maradona on a salty night Maradona had a couple of lines Maradona got indecency fines 0.99

00:01:12.000 That was fucking Mickey Nines, by the way. 0.97

00:01:14.000 They had a song called Maradona. 0.99

00:01:16.000 And they're talking about Diego Armando Maradona.

00:01:21.000 Argentine there.

00:01:23.000 Football player.

00:01:24.000 Soccer over here.

00:01:24.000 Soccer.

00:01:28.000 He was a coach too. 0.97

00:01:29.000 They're obviously big fans because they fucking love football up in Scotland. 0.81

00:01:35.000 I was hanging out with a Scottish guy at the bar last night, and the bartender's name was Kevin. 0.96

00:01:40.000 And I kept hearing him yell, Kevin!

00:01:42.000 Are you going to?

00:01:44.000 And it gave me PTSD, because that was my dad.

00:01:47.000 I hear Gavin with a Scottish accent.

00:01:50.000 I go, what?

00:01:50.000 Sorry.

00:01:51.000 I didn't mean to spill it.

00:01:55.000 Welcome back.

00:01:56.000 Today's a free episode.

00:01:58.000 Free up.

00:01:59.000 We just randomly pick episodes to make free.

00:02:01.000 This is today's.

00:02:03.000 And we've got way too much stuff.

00:02:05.000 I don't know how we're going to get through it all.

00:02:07.000 We've got to talk about pervs.

00:02:09.000 We've got to talk about my demolition derby.

00:02:12.000 I just witnessed in Marshfield, Wisconsin.

00:02:16.000 Life-changing.

00:02:17.000 Some movies.

00:02:18.000 We've got to talk about our super.

00:02:20.000 We've got... Let's start with THC Extract.

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00:03:55.000 You may have noticed I'm wearing a horror poncho.

00:03:57.000 Whoa! 0.71

00:04:00.000 I know all of these but the bottom, my right, these two guys.

00:04:06.000 What is this?

00:04:10.000 That's... Well, not Chucky, I'm guessing.

00:04:13.000 But the one in the middle?

00:04:14.000 No, that's Chucky, sorry.

00:04:15.000 Exorcist chick in the middle.

00:04:16.000 Bottom middle.

00:04:18.000 What's she holding, though?

00:04:19.000 I don't know.

00:04:22.000 She's got a little dolly in her hand.

00:04:24.000 So, was that in the movie?

00:04:26.000 Was there some doll?

00:04:28.000 I don't remember her having a dolly.

00:04:29.000 I mean, because the Hellraiser has this Hellcube thing. 0.54

00:04:32.000 And then who's this?

00:04:34.000 The ring girl?

00:04:35.000 What's she holding?

00:04:36.000 Or maybe I'm wrong.

00:04:37.000 She's holding up, like, a little...

00:04:43.000 Don't they wear that because it's hot?

00:04:45.000 That's for the basement.

00:04:47.000 When you're watching movies and you're a little nippy.

00:04:49.000 No offense, Ryan.

00:04:50.000 Oops.

00:04:51.000 I'm not little.

00:04:52.000 Speaking of little nippies, Ryan was, 1-4, was doing a workout that involved backflips.

00:04:58.000 Yesterday.

00:04:58.000 That's not true.

00:04:59.000 I don't remember doing that.

00:05:00.000 Which is amazing, because it's hard enough to, like, be lifting weights and pumping iron, but to incorporate a backflip was pretty impressive.

00:05:08.000 I've never seen you do anything like this.

00:05:09.000 I don't recall doing anything like that.

00:05:10.000 And I'm blown away by your skills.

00:05:14.000 Is that your backyard?

00:05:15.000 Where is that?

00:05:16.000 That's actually... So that... That looks kind of like me, I'd say.

00:05:21.000 Oh, I like your little dance there.

00:05:22.000 Victory dance.

00:05:24.000 That's a dead giveaway that it's not me.

00:05:26.000 I don't dance like that.

00:05:27.000 Look how high it is.

00:05:28.000 I dance very differently.

00:05:30.000 I do pose.

00:05:32.000 You may have noticed too, but underneath my poncho, I'm wearing this strangely obtuse polo by Ralph Lauren.

00:05:40.000 My dog is here today.

00:05:41.000 He just got back from the, from, you know, when you put them away.

00:05:45.000 What do you call that?

00:05:46.000 Uh, the kennel.

00:05:48.000 Kennel?

00:05:49.000 He's making strange gestures.

00:05:51.000 You okay there, bro?

00:05:54.000 Um, I texted you what inspired this.

00:05:56.000 Remember the guy who cut his hands, the MTA driver?

00:06:00.000 Who cut his hands?

00:06:02.000 How much is that, by the way?

00:06:03.000 They might give us some tips.

00:06:05.000 $74.

00:06:05.000 Oh, they wanted- I got mine down to $50.

00:06:08.000 So, what I'm seeing here- So this is a different lineup, though, right?

00:06:11.000 Do you have- Yeah, yeah, they didn't have- It's a different lineup and different dates.

00:06:14.000 But I think the 1973- I think Chucky stays the same.

00:06:17.000 The chick in the middle and the chick in the bottom right, I think we could assume is the same. 0.87

00:06:20.000 So 2002's gotta be the ring.

00:06:21.000 No, I have the same guys.

00:06:22.000 I have Freddy.

00:06:23.000 You have Pennywise, too?

00:06:24.000 Yeah.

00:06:25.000 Nice. 1.00

00:06:26.000 God, you're stupid. 1.00

00:06:27.000 How do you forget something you saw eight seconds ago? 1.00

00:06:30.000 Because you very quickly move to the bottom two.

00:06:33.000 But then you just take this authoritative stance of, well, different guys on this one.

00:06:37.000 Well, it is different because notice that they're holding dates instead of that.

00:06:40.000 So I wouldn't assume.

00:06:43.000 That's not what we're talking about.

00:06:44.000 You decided that two were the same characters.

00:06:48.000 And then you spoke about that like it was a fact.

00:06:51.000 Yeah, because they look the same.

00:06:53.000 Hair, the same hair. 1.00

00:06:56.000 Yeah, they are the same, you shit for brains. 1.00

00:06:57.000 They're all the same. 1.00

00:07:00.000 But you decided to choose two.

00:07:01.000 I haven't seen Pennywise.

00:07:02.000 And then like say it like a fact.

00:07:05.000 Look, they're all the same.

00:07:07.000 They just have- Let me see Pennywise.

00:07:10.000 What's he holding?

00:07:11.000 A boat?

00:07:13.000 Weird.

00:07:14.000 Yeah, that was at the demolition.

00:07:15.000 Well, first, I sent you a text to this shirt, because I saw this black dude who cut his hands working at the MTA from our own neighborhood here in the Bronx, and I noticed that he was wearing this, and I thought, that's the look I want. 0.98

00:07:28.000 So I went online, and I bought this, and a couple others.

00:07:32.000 They're hard to find.

00:07:33.000 I think Ralph Lauren stopped making them when they became ghetto, but that's when I want them. 1.00

00:07:39.000 So this is my peer group now.

00:07:41.000 You can hit play at any time.

00:07:45.000 He did it for love.

00:07:58.000 He cut his hands for love because he wanted to spend more time with his fiancée.

00:08:02.000 He also goes on to say he got a BA in prison. 0.71

00:08:05.000 He's a career criminal.

00:08:07.000 But yeah great look guy great look Speaking of great looks I came into work today, and I noticed there was a car Parked so fucking badly it was in my spot that pissed me off obviously secondly it was parked Way out into the parking lot with this much room behind it 0.95

00:08:28.000 So it's actually hard to get into the parking lot because of him.

00:08:31.000 And he was all over on one side.

00:08:33.000 I was in my wife's Cadillac Escalade. 1.00

00:08:37.000 So it's a fucking tank. 0.99

00:08:39.000 I had to do a bunch of stuff today that involved a big car. 0.99

00:08:42.000 And it took me like 15 minutes to squeeze into the tiny spot that he left for me.

00:08:49.000 Now Ryan came in much later, of course.

00:08:51.000 What time did you get in today?

00:08:53.000 11 something.

00:08:54.000 Roughly, what do you think?

00:08:57.000 Uh, 11.20.

00:08:58.000 And, uh, why were you so late?

00:09:02.000 I don't know if it's late.

00:09:03.000 I mean, 8 hours from 11 to 7.30 when I leave, or 7 o'clock?

00:09:07.000 That's an 8 hour shift.

00:09:10.000 11.30, 12.30, okay.

00:09:12.000 Um, so you bumped into this gentleman.

00:09:15.000 I did.

00:09:16.000 And you started explaining it to me and I said,

00:09:20.000 Stop, you're wasting gold.

00:09:21.000 We're wasting gold.

00:09:22.000 We want this to be on the show.

00:09:23.000 That's true. 0.98

00:09:25.000 So, what did this clown lay down? 0.97

00:09:27.000 He was not a fan of yours, and so... Wait, that sounds general. 0.98

00:09:32.000 What do you mean?

00:09:33.000 Like, not just the note, but me, my life, my background.

00:09:36.000 Oh yeah, and he's not a fan of your work?

00:09:40.000 Not a fan of you as a dude?

00:09:42.000 Not a fan of your little signs? 1.00

00:09:44.000 My sign said, hey asshole. 1.00

00:09:46.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:09:46.000 Oh, it did? 1.00

00:09:48.000 We called the tow truck.

00:09:49.000 Hopefully you get out of here before he gets here.

00:09:52.000 Signed the name of our company, censored, like it says on the signs.

00:09:52.000 Wow.

00:09:57.000 And then I said, PS, you suck at parking. 0.99

00:10:01.000 Wow. 0.99

00:10:01.000 Okay. 0.99

00:10:02.000 So that's why he felt the way he did.

00:10:04.000 So, um, at first I, he had this nervous adrenaline face and he was passive aggressive, but he was like, he kind of looked like, you know, like the Hasids have inbred Jewishness to a degree. 1.00

00:10:16.000 Like they'll have some weird features.

00:10:18.000 So he had like a weird lip thing with like this sort of thing.

00:10:21.000 And he was a circle.

00:10:22.000 But he, he doesn't strike me as Jewish.

00:10:26.000 He's the property manager, right?

00:10:28.000 Yeah.

00:10:29.000 That strikes me.

00:10:29.000 Superintendent.

00:10:31.000 Yeah.

00:10:32.000 That struck me a little.

00:10:33.000 I don't know what else he could have been.

00:10:34.000 No, supers are blue collar.

00:10:35.000 They don't make that much money.

00:10:37.000 But he said property manager, and he had like an orange... Oh, so did he look nice?

00:10:43.000 Okay, so he's the super.

00:10:43.000 No.

00:10:45.000 He was fat.

00:10:47.000 You know what he had on?

00:10:48.000 He had an orange reflector vest on.

00:10:50.000 So at first it kind of seemed like... Yeah, that's working class.

00:10:52.000 Maybe it seemed like he was kind of aggressive, but I couldn't tell.

00:10:56.000 And I was like, hey, is that your car?

00:10:59.000 So wait a minute, wait a minute.

00:11:00.000 Now, we're off to the wrong foot here with this... He's not Jewish. 1.00

00:11:04.000 So you see someone in an orange vest and you go, oh, you're probably one of these Jew property owners. 0.96

00:11:09.000 When I hear property manager, I think Jew.

00:11:12.000 Even if he has an orange vest on.

00:11:13.000 And then also the inbred sort of features.

00:11:18.000 Which they want to have.

00:11:19.000 It's just a thing that I've noticed.

00:11:20.000 They have a dysgenic melange.

00:11:23.000 That doesn't make any sense. 0.93

00:11:25.000 And that's, I mean, acidic Jews have a problem with inbreeding. 1.00

00:11:29.000 You're not going to come across any here.

00:11:33.000 Interesting.

00:11:33.000 Yeah.

00:11:34.000 No, it's not interesting.

00:11:35.000 Everyone knows that.

00:11:36.000 They're in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

00:11:38.000 You gotta go to Curious Joel.

00:11:40.000 I love Big A, but Big A's a Jewish fella. 1.00

00:11:42.000 He has some of the similar things.

00:11:44.000 Sandy Cain, she has a bunch of different weird blemishes all over the place. 1.00

00:11:48.000 They just have issues, physical issues.

00:11:50.000 You're in a town, you're talking about Kumia's old whack pack, and you're in a town that's wildly disproportionately Jewish. 1.00

00:11:59.000 Anyway, we're off on a tangent.

00:12:00.000 So what did he say?

00:12:01.000 This is getting

00:12:02.000 So I pulled up to him and I says, you know, uh, you're in my spot.

00:12:06.000 Is that your car?

00:12:07.000 He said, yeah, it is my spot.

00:12:08.000 It's, it's, I'm the problem.

00:12:09.000 He said, well, no, he says it is my car.

00:12:11.000 I'm the property manager.

00:12:13.000 Yeah.

00:12:13.000 And like you said, he was probably expecting me to be like, well, I'm so sorry.

00:12:17.000 But I wasn't, I was just calm.

00:12:20.000 And I said, uh, he said, did you leave this note?

00:12:22.000 And he's like, kind of like smiling like this.

00:12:24.000 He's like, did you leave this note? 0.92

00:12:26.000 You know how like when a black guy doesn't want to laugh? 1.00

00:12:28.000 Like I'm a tough guy? 0.91

00:12:30.000 No.

00:12:30.000 Like he's gonna beat you up?

00:12:31.000 Like when your face does weird stuff when your adrenaline is coursing through your veins.

00:12:35.000 He's like this.

00:12:35.000 He's like, did you write 10 note?

00:12:38.000 Like, it's weird.

00:12:39.000 It looked weird.

00:12:41.000 And he had that thing on his face.

00:12:42.000 It's a natural instinct, I think, that people do to avoid conflict.

00:12:46.000 And I've noticed myself, like, on the train when there's a crazy person calling me a cracker or something, I'll just go, and I'll laugh.

00:12:53.000 I'm not amused, but it's involuntary, and I think it's a way humans de-escalate.

00:12:59.000 His face was trying to de-escalate, but his mouth was trying to de-escalate.

00:13:02.000 Yeah, it's the New York way of starting a fight is to pretend you... It's kind of in the genre of a fight face.

00:13:09.000 He sucker punched me for no reason.

00:13:13.000 Yeah, so it was that, and he said, did you leave this note?

00:13:15.000 And I said, no, that was my boss. 1.00

00:13:18.000 Um, he's like, all right, well, and I was like, he's kind of an asshole. 1.00

00:13:22.000 I didn't even know you wrote the word asshole on the thing. 0.99

00:13:24.000 Well, thanks for having my back. 0.99

00:13:25.000 But it was funny cause I thought he was laughing.

00:13:27.000 So I was like, this is like a jocular thing. 1.00

00:13:29.000 He's kind of an asshole. 0.99

00:13:29.000 Sorry about the note. 0.99

00:13:30.000 No, we're both, I thought we were both angered that people keep taking our spots.

00:13:34.000 Well, I wasn't necessarily angry because he was going to move it, but I thought that he should have known better, because he's the property manager, that you should not take somebody's spot that's assigned to them.

00:13:44.000 But anyway, and then it became clear to me after that, he was like, I'll move my car.

00:13:48.000 I'll move my car.

00:13:49.000 You know, no problem, because I'm not making a fuss.

00:13:51.000 But what I did notice, and this is when I realized he's serious, like this isn't fun.

00:13:55.000 We're not going to be having a, sorry about that.

00:13:58.000 Type of time, he got one of Gavin's notes.

00:14:00.000 He points to the wall and he says, you know that hole in the wall?

00:14:03.000 It's roughly the size of your boss' motorcycle's muffler.

00:14:07.000 So maybe that's a problem, you know?

00:14:09.000 No, it's not.

00:14:10.000 I know, it's square.

00:14:11.000 It's a square hole.

00:14:11.000 And tell me the physics of how a motorcycle muffler... He doesn't know motorcycles at all.

00:14:15.000 Like, obviously the back tire's gonna hit first.

00:14:18.000 Oh yeah.

00:14:19.000 Wait.

00:14:20.000 Oh yeah.

00:14:21.000 Oh yeah.

00:14:23.000 But it's also a square hole, so I'm pretty sure you could write that off immediately.

00:14:27.000 You don't have a square muffler. 1.00

00:14:28.000 Yeah, what a fucking moron. 1.00

00:14:30.000 So that's his... So that's a threat. 1.00

00:14:33.000 And he says, no, don't worry, I'll move it, I'll move it.

00:14:34.000 And I don't know why he's getting angry at me now.

00:14:36.000 Like, I don't know what... I didn't say anything.

00:14:38.000 I wasn't... I was trying to be funny with him.

00:14:40.000 And then now, maybe he sees... he smells blood.

00:14:43.000 He's like, this guy is nice, so I'm gonna... He's like, I'll move it.

00:14:46.000 He said, I'll move it.

00:14:48.000 I'll move it, but... I forget what else he said, but...

00:14:51.000 Yeah.

00:14:52.000 Wait, you have that whole intro with no ending?

00:14:54.000 He's like, I'm not gonna cause a fuss, but I'll move it.

00:14:56.000 Really, it's the ending is accusing you and... No, the ending is, I'll move it, but... Dude, you need... I don't know if you have low blood sugar or something.

00:15:04.000 He sounds like he wants to... Go have a Gatorade or something.

00:15:06.000 There's something wrong with your head.

00:15:08.000 Well, I'm telling a story to somebody who does not want to listen, is not cooperative in a conversation.

00:15:14.000 You feel like, oh, they're getting bored, everybody's getting bored, let's change topic.

00:15:17.000 Alright, wait, what about this detail?

00:15:18.000 But you can't say, okay, you introduced this thing like three times, I'll move it, I'll move it, I'll move it, but, and then you forgot what the but was.

00:15:27.000 I think murderers in an interrogation room have an easier conversation than with Gavin McInnes on his show.

00:15:34.000 This isn't a place for chatting.

00:15:35.000 The thing that drives me nuts about him is he, he, because we've had words before.

00:15:40.000 The same guy.

00:15:41.000 The same guy and he goes, I'm the super.

00:15:45.000 Like I'm gonna go, oh, I didn't know you were the son of God and you can park wherever you want. 1.00

00:15:51.000 I don't give a fuck if you're the super. 0.99

00:15:53.000 The super gets to park in anyone's parking spot? 0.99

00:15:56.000 Is that a magic rule?

00:15:58.000 We pay for that spot. 1.00

00:16:00.000 So if you want to come and go do your super shit, go park in the shittiest spot we have. 1.00

00:16:05.000 Like, you're... Do you sit at my desk too? 1.00

00:16:08.000 Where does it end?

00:16:09.000 Can you walk in here and smoke a cigarette? 1.00

00:16:13.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:16:16.000 I don't even know what he was doing. 1.00

00:16:17.000 I'm the super.

00:16:18.000 Oh, you're, you know that super doesn't mean Superman, right?

00:16:21.000 I'm the super, intendant, and I'm intending on sparking in this spot.

00:16:26.000 Speaking of Superman, I haven't seen this movie yet, but One-Five looks really good.

00:16:31.000 And when I was watching this trailer, I was, I remembered seeing this Superman movies as a kid and thinking, there's something magical about his face.

00:16:41.000 There's something very unique and otherworldly about Christopher Reeve's face, isn't it?

00:16:48.000 What ethnicity is that?

00:16:49.000 Austrian?

00:16:51.000 That was a part.

00:16:51.000 I played the part.

00:16:52.000 I'm not that man.

00:16:57.000 I like his little dimples.

00:16:59.000 I don't like that.

00:17:01.000 Oh, he came from French aristocracy.

00:17:03.000 That's evident.

00:17:03.000 Maybe he is a superman.

00:17:05.000 Maybe he's better than us.

00:17:06.000 He's the Ubermensch.

00:17:27.000 Doing things with my dad.

00:17:29.000 It was all about activity and action.

00:17:31.000 Riding bikes, playing soccer, skiing.

00:17:36.000 Carpe diem, Al!

00:17:37.000 My dad was very competitive and he didn't necessarily slow down.

00:17:41.000 Imagine your dad yells carpe diem at you while you're kicking soccer ball.

00:17:46.000 That was the last time I saw him on his feet.

00:17:52.000 That's rough.

00:17:54.000 Mr. Grieve currently has no movement or spontaneous respiration.

00:17:57.000 Superman, crazy.

00:17:59.000 Just that simple little thing over the horse.

00:18:01.000 I'd ruined my life and everybody else's.

00:18:05.000 I won't be able to ski.

00:18:06.000 That's like Charles Krauthammer.

00:18:08.000 He dove into this swimming hole in Montreal and he was in medical school and he was studying the sensitivity of the spine and when he heard the... He goes, I knew I was paralyzed from that moment on.

00:18:22.000 Like that second on.

00:18:25.000 Anyway, that looks like a real tearjerker.

00:18:26.000 It made me feel bad for all the Christopher Reeves jokes I've said over the years. 0.95

00:18:30.000 How shitty am I? 0.95

00:18:31.000 What a bad person I am. 0.96

00:18:34.000 Eminem has a lot of apology.

00:18:36.000 I think on every album he references Christopher Reeves.

00:18:39.000 Yeah.

00:18:39.000 Really?

00:18:40.000 Or as they say in country music songs, Eminem.

00:18:45.000 I didn't know that.

00:18:46.000 I was listening to some song and it was like, she knows all the words to every Eminem song. 0.99

00:18:52.000 So that was a running joke with my wife all weekend, was like, what the fuck, who's Eminem? 0.98

00:18:59.000 I saw another couple movies since I last saw you. 1.00

00:19:02.000 I saw a movie called Union that is the most gigantic piece of shit I've ever seen. 0.98

00:19:09.000 Ready for the premise? 0.99

00:19:10.000 There's a secret agency just like, what's it called, the British one,

00:19:17.000 The gentleman, not the gentleman, the kingfish.

00:19:21.000 The Kingsman.

00:19:21.000 Kingsman.

00:19:23.000 It's exactly like the Kingsman, and they do take in a working class guy, but here's the clincher, they always do. 1.00

00:19:30.000 You see, working class men aren't scared of heights, they know how to fight, they're independent thinkers.

00:19:35.000 I mean, I agree with all this, obviously.

00:19:38.000 Therefore, they'd be perfect for an agency that's above the CIA and the FBI, made of construction workers and regular Joes, who are always like, whoa, whoa! 1.00

00:19:50.000 But then in the end, you realize that their lack of sophistication is what saves them.

00:19:55.000 For example, and they're all over Europe because they're taking advantage of these tax breaks.

00:20:00.000 You know, if you shoot in Belgium and you spend seven million, they spend seven million, so now you got a $14 million movie. 0.96

00:20:06.000 So they're all over fucking Europe. 0.97

00:20:08.000 It's such a ripoff. 0.99

00:20:09.000 There's all these ads for Range Rover in it, too.

00:20:11.000 Like, you're in a luxury SUV.

00:20:13.000 You push a button.

00:20:13.000 Oh, wow.

00:20:16.000 But in one scene, they're in Belgium and they're on a roof. 0.99

00:20:18.000 And the bad guys are going, what the fuck? 0.99

00:20:20.000 Whoa. 0.99

00:20:22.000 Mark Wahlberg works on high rises.

00:20:25.000 He's a steel guy.

00:20:27.000 So, he's along those I-beams on skyscrapers on a daily basis.

00:20:32.000 And he ain't scared.

00:20:33.000 And then he knocks them out and they're like, WAAAAH!

00:20:34.000 And they fall and he's just walking like it ain't no thang.

00:20:40.000 And here's the worst part.

00:20:42.000 There's at least two instances where Halle Berry drives, including a motorcycle.

00:20:47.000 Just remember in James Bond where that black chick is on the scooter and he gets on the back? 0.99

00:20:53.000 This happens in this movie.

00:20:54.000 And I was going to turn it off right when I saw him get on the back of that motorcycle because men don't even do that when men are driving.

00:21:02.000 Like there's the ad for the Range Rover.

00:21:04.000 Turn it up.

00:21:05.000 He's on the wrong side of the road because he's a simple guy from Jersey!

00:21:09.000 Her hair is infuriating the entire movie.

00:21:13.000 What's with that wisp?

00:21:17.000 What's with that annoying S-Superman wisp?

00:21:20.000 Maybe her Botox went down into her mouth. 0.99

00:21:22.000 Let me hear it.

00:21:26.000 I didn't hear a lisp.

00:21:27.000 No, wisp in her hair.

00:21:28.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:21:29.000 The S-shaped wisp. 1.00

00:21:30.000 No, it's the whole fucking movie. 0.99

00:21:32.000 Some scenes she's shooting at people, it's covering her entire face. 1.00

00:21:38.000 It's more annoying than your hairdo.

00:21:41.000 I'm still totally distracted why you put fish in everything when you can't remember the name.

00:21:45.000 Kingfish?

00:21:46.000 You thought the name of the movie was Kingfish?

00:21:48.000 Yeah, well there is the Fisher King.

00:21:51.000 There is no Fisher King.

00:21:52.000 Yeah, there is.

00:21:53.000 And you make fish kiss instead of chef kiss. 0.99

00:21:55.000 Wait, you're wasting your time making shitty Photoshop drawings? 0.98

00:21:57.000 This took two seconds. 0.99

00:21:59.000 The Fisher King with Robin Williams.

00:22:00.000 I also have variants.

00:22:04.000 But, and then I saw this other movie called Land of Bad. 0.99

00:22:08.000 It's done by this loser, rich kid. 0.96

00:22:11.000 His dad was like a Christie's Auction House guy. 1.00

00:22:15.000 Dude, it's fucking amazing. 0.98

00:22:18.000 And it's got Russell Crowe in it. 0.98

00:22:20.000 It's on Netflix right now.

00:22:22.000 I assumed it would stink.

00:22:23.000 This guy's last movie lost $10 million. 0.99

00:22:25.000 And he's in Mars in every fucking space movie. 0.99

00:22:28.000 He's always biting off more than he can chew. 1.00

00:22:31.000 This is a rescue mission in, like, fucking Southeast Asia. 0.99

00:22:35.000 I was glued to my seat. 0.98

00:22:38.000 It's from the perspective of Russell Crowe, who's a drone operator known as Reaper.

00:22:43.000 So we go back from him sitting at his desk to these guys.

00:22:48.000 Action scenes were spellbinding.

00:22:50.000 It's one of the best war movies I've ever seen.

00:22:54.000 I was texting Vance. 0.99

00:22:57.000 Saying you gotta fucking see this, holy shit is it good. 0.99

00:22:59.000 Um... CIA asset that's been captured. 0.99

00:23:08.000 In other important news, I'm on the new edition of Purple Works Nutrition right now.

00:23:14.000 Pull that up, Jamie.

00:23:16.000 Forget what it's called, but it's purple, and it's a much bigger thing.

00:23:20.000 Everyone says it tastes way better.

00:23:22.000 I agree, although sometimes I mix it with, sometimes I mix it with Gatorade, which makes everything weird.

00:23:28.000 Yeah, it's that guy, Invictus.

00:23:29.000 Invictus.

00:23:30.000 So I'm currently sailing on that.

00:23:33.000 I finished all these.

00:23:35.000 The normal pre-workout.

00:23:36.000 This is a new batch. 0.98

00:23:37.000 It's fucking awesome. 0.99

00:23:39.000 It's like a time bomb. 0.97

00:23:40.000 The ants start crawling in your skin and I was monitoring it closely when I did my workout.

00:23:45.000 I wasn't boxing today.

00:23:46.000 I was doing weights and at the beginning I didn't want to be there and it's the bike for

00:23:52.000 I'm in it and then it's some other stuff jumping jacks and you're like and I was looking at the clock it started at 9 30 and it was like 9 32 and I was always I was already wondering and then the Invictus kicks in and the ants start crawling around the body making you do stuff 40 pound chest presses and some long pole that you're doing backwards squats with and these things

00:24:20.000 And these things, pull-ups.

00:24:23.000 What was the worst part? 0.90

00:24:24.000 The 40 pound chest presses with barbells was pretty fucking difficult. 0.92

00:24:30.000 There was a few like, come on, come on! 0.97

00:24:32.000 You got the dumbbell fishes, you got the fish flies, the fish ups, and you got like the fish pumps.

00:24:41.000 Yeah, it was the fish ups.

00:24:43.000 Fish press.

00:24:44.000 Fish.

00:24:44.000 Fish press.

00:24:47.000 And I timed it.

00:24:49.000 20 minutes in, the ants have expended their expenditures.

00:24:54.000 And the second round of all the different stations was easier than the first round because the ants were in full effect.

00:25:02.000 And then the ants were, like, petering out 20 minutes in.

00:25:05.000 So, you know, for a 30-minute workout, one scoop, well, two-thirds of a scoop, as far as I know, as far as I do, is absolutely fantastic.

00:25:14.000 Gets you out there, overcomes your laziness.

00:25:17.000 I highly recommend it.

00:25:18.000 Purpleworksnutrition.com, promo code GAVIN.

00:25:22.000 Gives you 15% off.

00:25:26.000 What's this about Josh LaCashe has a $50 sport drink?

00:25:30.000 Yeah, it's called Sport Drink.

00:25:33.000 It's 60 bucks?

00:25:35.000 Yeah, but I don't know how many servings it is.

00:25:37.000 Oh, that's a powder like Purpleworks.

00:25:39.000 So we're giving him an ad right now with free free advertising.

00:25:45.000 Is that what we're doing?

00:25:46.000 I saw he was on 1.00

00:25:48.000 Rolling Stone is so fucking retarded. 1.00

00:25:50.000 They did an article talking about John Cena and how he follows all these people, and a lot of them are fascists. 1.00

00:25:58.000 And he follows like two million people.

00:26:01.000 He obviously has a bot, like Obama used to do, where every time you follow him, he follows you.

00:26:07.000 And so, yeah, John Cena doesn't literally follow those million people or whatever the number is.

00:26:14.000 So they go, he follows a bunch of fascists, including a guy named Josh LaCash, who's hocking a sport drink.

00:26:21.000 Ooh.

00:26:23.000 Wait, that feels like advertisement. 1.00

00:26:25.000 I hope he dies. 0.99

00:26:26.000 Josh has some connections. 1.00

00:26:28.000 Oh, you think?

00:26:29.000 That sounds to me like a, hey, this is not a puff piece.

00:26:33.000 We're calling him out.

00:26:33.000 Well, if he has some connections, can he get me back on Twitter?

00:26:36.000 Yeah, right?

00:26:37.000 No, no.

00:26:37.000 This was on a Rolling Stone article.

00:26:40.000 You might know some niggas in Rolling Stone. 1.00

00:26:43.000 Oh my god, again with you.

00:26:45.000 His parents, I can't even say it on air, but he's embedded in Hollywood in the upper echelon.

00:26:52.000 He used to go to all sorts of places.

00:26:54.000 I mean, I think this is openly known.

00:26:56.000 He's friends with Katy Perry.

00:26:58.000 And there's a lot of private things that I can't say that I know about him.

00:27:01.000 Alright.

00:27:02.000 Also an important news, Oasis are getting back together.

00:27:06.000 I have a theory about Oasis getting back together.

00:27:08.000 I remember reading Thurston Moore from Sonic Youth saying, you know, if we just quit at the peak of Lollapalooza and then waited 15 years and had a reunion, we'd all be multi-millionaires.

00:27:20.000 Instead, we just kept going and it kind of petered out.

00:27:25.000 And I thought that was a very interesting economical concept.

00:27:29.000 Economic concept.

00:27:30.000 And then I thought, maybe the brothers Gallagher have been lying all this time about their feud.

00:27:38.000 And they actually get along great.

00:27:40.000 Because they were brilliant at marketing back in the in the 90s.

00:27:45.000 Remember they were fighting uh what was the other band they were against?

00:27:49.000 Blur. 0.90

00:27:50.000 And they would get their fans to buy Oasis CDs and just throw them out just to get Oasis's numbers up and people would do that.

00:27:58.000 And they'd make fun of Blur on stage and stuff.

00:28:01.000 Remember Pop Life or something?

00:28:03.000 And they have a thing with Robbie... Oh yeah, that hunky guy.

00:28:08.000 Boy band, one-man boy band guy.

00:28:11.000 Robbie Williams.

00:28:13.000 Yeah.

00:28:14.000 So here's my theory.

00:28:16.000 They kept... It was just like Bitcoin or something.

00:28:19.000 And they kept saying no to reunions.

00:28:23.000 And they're like, hold it.

00:28:24.000 Hold. 0.96

00:28:25.000 Hold. 0.96

00:28:26.000 Hold. 0.96

00:28:28.000 Hold now! 0.99

00:28:33.000 So maybe this offer... I remember Led Zeppelin were getting offered like 70 million dollars or something for a reunion.

00:28:39.000 Robert Plant said no because he would have ruined the band for all of us.

00:28:42.000 He can't sing anymore.

00:28:45.000 You know what's funny?

00:28:46.000 What?

00:28:46.000 That they kept making fun of Robbie Williams for being fat, so then he makes a video when he gets skinny, he's like, look!

00:28:52.000 I'm not fat anymore!

00:28:55.000 It's like, I never realized they put that together, but that's the main thing that they would do.

00:28:59.000 They made him take steroids.

00:29:00.000 That's so funny. 0.59

00:29:03.000 You're a little fat, aren't you? 0.63

00:29:04.000 He really wasn't. 0.98

00:29:05.000 He was just kind of tubby.

00:29:06.000 Yeah, it's just a fun joke to make when someone is slightly, like, big in the chin.

00:29:12.000 In the cheeks.

00:29:13.000 Speaking of big in the cheeks, this is the front page of the Post.

00:29:16.000 Not that interesting. 0.98

00:29:17.000 Hoarder, home whore, man kills three siblings because they wanted to sell Long Island House, where he spent his entire life. 1.00

00:29:24.000 Oh, faggot. 1.00

00:29:28.000 Did I mention Megyn Kelly yet? 1.00

00:29:30.000 No. 0.98

00:29:30.000 It just came out that she is getting more viewers than CNN, MSNBC, and one other shitty network combined. 0.98

00:29:40.000 Massive. 0.92

00:29:41.000 And then you have Rogan and Tucker.

00:29:43.000 Our guys are winning.

00:29:46.000 We're definitely on the top.

00:29:51.000 I had a lot of stuff I got to talk about that is timely.

00:29:55.000 I can't push any of this away.

00:29:59.000 Like this one.

00:30:00.000 Go to 1-6?

00:30:02.000 No.

00:30:03.000 1-7?

00:30:06.000 This tax hike thing.

00:30:08.000 I think it's 1-7.

00:30:09.000 Yeah.

00:30:10.000 Kamala Harris.

00:30:10.000 Oh, maybe we should play... No, no.

00:30:13.000 Don't play My Pet Biden.

00:30:14.000 This is too short.

00:30:15.000 Oh, we have a Hawk to a Harris one, don't we? 0.74

00:30:17.000 We do.

00:30:17.000 All right, let's play that.

00:30:18.000 That one's a little long, but we can do it.

00:30:20.000 We can do whatever.

00:30:24.000 Wait, stop the show.

00:30:31.000 An incarcerated individual at San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department.

00:30:36.000 This call is not private.

00:30:37.000 It will be recorded and may be monitored.

00:30:40.000 If you believe this should be a private call, please hang up and follow facility instructions to register this number as a private number.

00:30:46.000 Hello?

00:30:50.000 Hey! 0.99

00:30:51.000 Hey! 0.99

00:30:52.000 I never pushed a button, that's cool.

00:30:55.000 Yeah, it's a new feature I guess.

00:30:58.000 I guess you just have to like... I don't know.

00:31:02.000 Anyway, thank you so much for writing the forward.

00:31:05.000 It's amazing.

00:31:06.000 It's so great.

00:31:07.000 It's so good.

00:31:09.000 Perfect.

00:31:09.000 Okay, good.

00:31:10.000 Yeah.

00:31:10.000 There was a couple things about it that could have been better, I thought, in retrospect, but nah.

00:31:15.000 Now, you're on the air right now, and this is Mercedes Carrera.

00:31:20.000 She's a porn star, an ex-porn star, who just wrote a book about how evil porn is. 0.99

00:31:27.000 Yes, I did. 0.99

00:31:28.000 It's called 10 Reasons and More to Say No to Porn.

00:31:33.000 And Gavin here was kind enough to write the foreword for me because for years we would argue about the veracity of the idea that pornography is acceptable in modern civilization.

00:31:44.000 And after being in jail for five and a half years and living in the rot of modern civilization, I now realize Gavin is right.

00:31:52.000 So, Gavin's right about most things, and he's also right about porn.

00:31:55.000 And so, this book is based... I realized after... So, I read the Bible the whole way through, and I realized that pornography breaks every single commandment.

00:32:04.000 Now, you can take a lot of things out of the Bible.

00:32:06.000 It's a very robust book.

00:32:08.000 But the Ten Commandments are the foundation of every single civil and criminal legal system in the West, prior to it becoming pagan. 0.98

00:32:17.000 Now we live in a pagan society and this is why everything's all fucked up. 1.00

00:32:20.000 But when we lived under, when America was great and we lived under Christian values, you realize that certain things are not acceptable. 0.96

00:32:27.000 And one of those things is online obscenity.

00:32:30.000 It ruined, it rots people's brains.

00:32:32.000 So I put a lot of anecdotes in there, not only from my time in the industry, but also even having met people in here who I see the detrimental effect of pornography on their lives, on their, you know, relationships.

00:32:46.000 And so this is important.

00:32:47.000 It's important for you guys to understand.

00:32:48.000 It's not just something that you can do, you know, and just pretend that you're not doing it.

00:32:53.000 Like, this is going to affect your brain, your relationship, and ultimately all of civilization.

00:32:58.000 Yep.

00:32:58.000 Couldn't agree more.

00:32:59.000 Okay, we've got to get back to the show.

00:33:01.000 Love you!

00:33:02.000 We'll keep an eye out for the book.

00:33:03.000 We'll promote it here.

00:33:04.000 Love you, too.

00:33:05.000 Thank you.

00:33:05.000 God bless all of you.

00:33:06.000 Bye!

00:33:06.000 Bye.

00:33:07.000 It's crazy.

00:33:09.000 So when's that coming out?

00:33:11.000 I don't know.

00:33:12.000 Soon.

00:33:13.000 She was nagging me about the intro.

00:33:15.000 In the intro I put a PS and said she's been accused of the most heinous crimes imaginable. 1.00

00:33:19.000 And if she is guilty I want her to die. 0.97

00:33:22.000 But you're innocent until proven guilty. 0.99

00:33:26.000 And I'm backing her like I would back my sister.

00:33:29.000 Until this all goes through the courts.

00:33:33.000 Not that the courts have been very reliable with these J6ers, but if anyone produces any evidence that she molested her daughter, then she's dead to me, obviously. 1.00

00:33:45.000 D'oh.

00:33:46.000 But yeah, let's play the Hoctua Harris thing. 0.97

00:33:48.000 It's time for Hoctua Harris! 0.98

00:33:49.000 Hoctua Harris! 0.70

00:33:50.000 Hoctua Harris! 0.70

00:33:51.000 Hoctua Harris! 0.70

00:33:58.000 Hoctua Harris! 0.70

00:34:10.000 Wait, did I not include this in the Newts?

00:34:13.000 Dude.

00:34:14.000 What?

00:34:15.000 What happened?

00:34:16.000 I sent you an email about this talk that Milo and I are doing.

00:34:21.000 It's a Come Alla Roast at the University of South Carolina. 0.98

00:34:27.000 There's been a lot of backlash against it.

00:34:29.000 Everyone who's been against it have been African Americans. 0.96

00:34:32.000 And 100% of the backlash has been retarded. 0.99

00:34:36.000 Starting out with this guy, he got sued by the Catholic kid, the high school kid. 0.73

00:34:44.000 What's his name?

00:34:44.000 Nicholas Salmon.

00:34:46.000 He was... Salmon.

00:34:48.000 It's a fish episode.

00:34:48.000 Oh my gosh!

00:34:51.000 You have fish on the brain!

00:34:53.000 So Nicholas Salmon, the guy who had that smirk on with the Indian in his face, 1.00

00:34:59.000 This guy Bakari Sellers, he was a congressman I guess, and he said that Nick needs a punch in the face, so he got sued for that and had to pay some money back.

00:35:09.000 But he put out a tweet when this talk was announced that said, oh hell no, we ain't doing this!

00:35:17.000 In his inimitable, ebonical way. 1.00

00:35:20.000 And then Milo, I can't roast him of course, but it's amazing the pearl clutching going on at these colleges with these fucking losers pretending they're offended. 0.99

00:35:31.000 Pull up the other shit in that email, Ryan, and I'll send you, because there's like a thing an hour about this. 0.99

00:35:39.000 South Carolina is pooping its panties, and the organizer sends us every single one of them. 0.99

00:35:45.000 But girls are making videos about how it's unacceptable. 1.00

00:35:49.000 They demand an explanation from the school, and the school's like, it's a student group.

00:35:55.000 Is it this one?

00:35:55.000 It's not up to us.

00:35:58.000 Yeah, she's big up there. 1.00

00:36:01.000 She, uh... Oh my God, there's like these two-hour conversations with black women of power. 1.00

00:36:07.000 Oh, it's our buddy Roland S. Martin saying it's despicable and racist. 0.95

00:36:11.000 Oh, I haven't seen that one.

00:36:12.000 Play that.

00:36:13.000 He was happy to take my money to come on my network.

00:36:15.000 My student organization is bringing them in for this Uncensored America.

00:36:20.000 They're hosting a comedy roast where two of the speakers are white supremacists.

00:36:26.000 The subject of this roast is, of course, Democratic nominee Vice President Kamala Harris.

00:36:30.000 It lists Gavin McInnis, the founder of the white supremacist group the Proud Boys, as one of the speakers.

00:36:36.000 Who would associate with him?

00:36:41.000 You gotta pull up Roland Martin on the show.

00:36:45.000 Wait, wait, he can't say Milo's last name? 0.90

00:36:53.000 The Proud Boys is one of the speakers and also listens this other fool, Milo, I never could pronounce his last name, but he... Listes, it listes. 0.87

00:37:02.000 Not list once, it listes. 0.95

00:37:04.000 Some other black chick was like, and one of the guys, Gavin McGinnis, he started a white nationalist band called the Proud Boys.

00:37:12.000 And my thing is like, if this is something that you find so threatening, how come you've never heard of it before?

00:37:19.000 Like, we've all heard of the KKK, they're bad guys.

00:37:21.000 We're familiar with them.

00:37:23.000 But if you're making a video about how offended you are, should you know the name of the thing that keeps you up at night?

00:37:30.000 Oh, it was Joe Biggs, who's in jail for January 6th, and here he is, Roland Martin, in a weird African little outfit he got that still had the creases in it, like he put it on at the hotel that morning.

00:37:44.000 The first conglomerate was ITT.

00:37:47.000 They literally called the CIA and said, hey, we'll pay for you guys.

00:37:50.000 Is that a Wakandan Fred Perry? 0.99

00:37:52.000 Um, we're good.

00:37:53.000 Then a few years later, y'all still want to pay for that?

00:37:56.000 Okay, we have to understand.

00:37:58.000 He was so terrible on that.

00:37:59.000 I always confuse him with the other guy. 1.00

00:38:01.000 When they were talking about NWA and they say, motherfucker got it bad cause I'm brown. 0.99

00:38:05.000 Michael Eric Dyson. 0.98

00:38:06.000 Yeah, and I go, they also said I never should have been let out the penitentiary.

00:38:10.000 And then his, his rebuke to that was, yeah, but that's a different song.

00:38:15.000 Oh. 0.99

00:38:17.000 Anyway, go to, um... Motherfuckers wanna act like... 0.99

00:38:21.000 Go back to that Roland Martin thing, Matt? 1.00

00:38:24.000 Prominent racist.

00:38:26.000 How naive is it to think that you could be a prominent racist? 0.78

00:38:30.000 Like, being an outspoken racist by definition means you're not prominent.

00:38:33.000 They take away your prominence.

00:38:49.000 Wait, I think this is the girl that did the video that said I started a band.

00:38:56.000 Yes, so of course plenty of students, alumni, donors, and community members are very outraged what is going on.

00:39:06.000 Students are very outraged what is going on action on campus, but some of them are feeling afraid to do so due to previous actions taken by the university last summer when students decided to speak out.

00:39:20.000 So, as of right now, we are trying to make sure that students feel comfortable on campus, as well as making sure to maintain the pressure on President Emeritus and the Board of Trustees to get this done.

00:39:30.000 See, this is another trick.

00:39:31.000 Emeritus?

00:39:32.000 These people always do.

00:39:34.000 They talk about how

00:39:37.000 The students don't feel safe.

00:39:39.000 When Alex Stein and I did our thing at Penn State, there was 500 people calling for our deaths, trying to kill us.

00:39:47.000 They spat in Alex's face.

00:39:48.000 The cops had to go through traffic lights.

00:39:50.000 Who was in danger?

00:39:53.000 A couple Proud Boys did show up and they got punched in the face and they didn't fight back.

00:39:57.000 They just took the punches.

00:39:59.000 Or when Tommy Robinson and Alex Jones and I were gonna do that speaking tour in Australia.

00:40:04.000 They said they feared violence.

00:40:06.000 The only violence that was gonna happen would be against me and Tommy and Alex.

00:40:12.000 These students don't feel safe if Milo and I go and roast Kamala.

00:40:18.000 Better go a little bit more then we'll move on. 0.51

00:40:20.000 Reminds me of when the racist- Hitler. 1.00

00:40:25.000 I forgot that fool name. 1.00

00:40:26.000 He came to Texas A&M University. 1.00

00:40:29.000 He's really bad with names. 1.00

00:40:32.000 And this is what these fools do. 0.99

00:40:34.000 And then what they do is they want to blow this thing up, make it huge, and get people outraged. 0.99

00:40:41.000 Then it gets canceled and say, oh see, there's no free speech in America.

00:40:44.000 Yeah.

00:40:45.000 This is canceled culture.

00:40:47.000 That's all- Yes.

00:40:48.000 That's not what I'm going for, but that's what I'll say if it gets cancelled.

00:40:53.000 And I will be right.

00:40:59.000 Yes, yes.

00:41:00.000 That's exactly what they're doing.

00:41:02.000 Currently online, both the student organization and the speakers are harassing people using slurs, sexism, racism, and they even attacked one of our notable alumni, Bakari Sellers, with a homophobic slur.

00:41:18.000 I have gotten some things directed to me from Milo and the student organization as well.

00:41:24.000 So what they're really going to do is really troll people, get them to engage with them, really use rage bait, I would say, and really just trying to make this so much more chaotic and really hiding behind the use of free speech in order to spread hate on this campus.

00:41:42.000 Well, look, that's their goal.

00:41:45.000 They also say we want to get canceled so we can just keep the money. 1.00

00:41:50.000 Yeah, that's why I bother doing these fucking things. 0.98

00:41:54.000 Go to 1.7, though, to get serious for a second here. 0.98

00:41:59.000 I see capital gains, I'm going to try not to bore you here, as a good metric for a successful economy.

00:42:06.000 The lower the better.

00:42:07.000 I think we're hovering around 20% now federally.

00:42:09.000 Obviously, it's contingent on when you decide to cash out your shares.

00:42:13.000 And I guess the simple way to explain capital gains is how much tax you have to pay when you finally sell your company, sell your shares, sell your interest.

00:42:20.000 And 20% is a lot, but if you wait, I think you can get down to 15.

00:42:26.000 I'm no economist, but this looks like the freakiest thing I've ever seen.

00:42:31.000 Kamala Harris backs President Biden's 44.6% capital gains tax proposal.

00:42:38.000 What?

00:42:40.000 That's double, more than double.

00:42:43.000 It's like this thing I read this weekend about some Chicago landlord.

00:42:49.000 He's had his taxes raised from $20,000 to $140,000.

00:42:53.000 And he was trying to explain to the IRS that he'd have to raise each tenant's apartment rent $5,000 in order to pay that.

00:43:06.000 In other words, they're just taking his building.

00:43:09.000 Like I can't, I'm gonna be bankrupt.

00:43:10.000 I can't, I can't afford that.

00:43:12.000 I won't have any tenants.

00:43:13.000 It's Cuban.

00:43:14.000 They're taking the land.

00:43:17.000 This is socialism in action.

00:43:19.000 And it's amazing because she's in the administration telling us what she'll do when she gets into the administration.

00:43:25.000 And she's not just any VP too.

00:43:27.000 She was touted as a VP who

00:43:32.000 Is really a co-star.

00:43:34.000 Biden always said, she's not really the president.

00:43:36.000 He called her the president many times, but he basically said, she's my partner in crime.

00:43:41.000 Literally. 0.98

00:43:43.000 And then finally, I thought this was fucking hilarious. 0.99

00:43:46.000 I mean, it's possible they were doing it on purpose, but Oprah talks about big fat loser childless cat ladies, and then they pan to one. 1.00

00:43:55.000 Which is a Key and Peele sketch.

00:43:56.000 Uh-oh.

00:43:58.000 Have you watched Anthony Comey's show?

00:44:00.000 Childless cat lady? 0.95

00:44:09.000 It is exactly that sketch.

00:44:10.000 It's the exact sketch!

00:44:11.000 Yes.

00:44:12.000 And she looks behind like, who's the childless cat? 0.84

00:44:14.000 I got four kids and I'm married.

00:44:16.000 Why are you... Jump to that sketch.

00:44:19.000 A government should work for everyone, not just the elite.

00:44:23.000 And that's why I helped pass the Farm Bill.

00:44:26.000 Because I care about farmers.

00:44:28.000 But I won't stop there.

00:44:31.000 I will work for everyone.

00:44:34.000 Whether you are young,

00:44:37.000 Whether you are old, whether you are Asian, or Hispanic, whether you are straight, or whether you are gay. 0.52

00:44:48.000 I will work for all of you.

00:44:51.000 And that's why I also support marriage equality.

00:44:53.000 Remember he moves in that sketch and he ends up just going... ...who believe that workers' contributions are no less important than you.

00:45:02.000 Yeah, he's looking for him.

00:45:03.000 And their contributions are no less important

00:45:07.000 Than any other group in this fine nation of ours.

00:45:11.000 So... 1.00

00:45:16.000 Turn to that gay person. 1.00

00:45:18.000 Okay. 0.99

00:45:19.000 I gotta tell you about this demolition derby. 0.99

00:45:21.000 It was fucking paradise. 0.99

00:45:24.000 It was in Marshfield, Wisconsin. 0.99

00:45:31.000 About, I think it's just south of Chicago, I guess?

00:45:34.000 I don't really know.

00:45:35.000 Madison, Chicago kind of zone.

00:45:38.000 Wisconsin goes up forever, basically.

00:45:41.000 And it keeps getting more Trump. 1.00

00:45:42.000 It's funny because Madison is all Kamala and Biden and Trump sucks and faux news and all that shit. 1.00

00:45:51.000 I learned my brother lives there, brother-in-law. 1.00

00:45:53.000 And I go, do you still go to that bar?

00:45:54.000 Jen's?

00:45:54.000 What's it called?

00:45:55.000 And he goes, eh, I'm not really welcome there.

00:45:57.000 I go, why?

00:45:58.000 He goes, because I'm your brother-in-law.

00:46:02.000 Now you've met him before, right?

00:46:03.000 Yeah.

00:46:04.000 He doesn't look remotely white.

00:46:05.000 He's clearly an American Indian. 0.88

00:46:08.000 And white people are eschewing him and discouraging him from going to their venues because his sister married Hitler. 0.62

00:46:21.000 That's a bit of a stretch, guys. 0.93

00:46:24.000 Anyway.

00:46:27.000 Go up to this demolition derby.

00:46:30.000 They don't sell shirts. 0.99

00:46:30.000 We're going to make shirts for this fucking thing. 0.99

00:46:33.000 It was, the fair had the weirdest merch ever. 1.00

00:46:36.000 Every single table, merch table, had these stupid ponchos and then a bunch of garbage bucket hats, like that say Pokemon on them or some Disney shit. 1.00

00:46:46.000 That's it! 1.00

00:46:48.000 And there was like 10 booths, they all had the exact same merch.

00:46:51.000 Whoever accepted that bitters needs to apologize.

00:46:54.000 But it's Sunday's Entertainment Obsession with Destruction, does it say?

00:46:59.000 Yeah.

00:47:00.000 Demolition Derby.

00:47:01.000 Are you ready for a smashing good time? 1.00

00:47:03.000 I was just, I lean over my wife and I go, this is a symphony of stupidity. 1.00

00:47:08.000 And she goes, something the European mind could never comprehend. 1.00

00:47:12.000 That's so true.

00:47:13.000 At the beginning of the thing, the guy goes, all the EMTs, fire department, police, veterans, please stand up.

00:47:22.000 And so a lot of people stood up, maybe a third.

00:47:25.000 I stood up because I was committing stolen valor.

00:47:28.000 Just kidding. 1.00

00:47:29.000 And they go, we want to thank you for allowing us to do stupid, they didn't say shit, stupid stuff like this. 1.00

00:47:39.000 And I thought, this is what I'm, this is my religion. 1.00

00:47:41.000 This is what I believe in.

00:47:43.000 I get abortion and the economy and capital gains are important and no disrespect to the Proud Boys who are doing time for January 6th. 0.99

00:47:51.000 That's fucking insane. 0.98

00:47:52.000 You didn't waste your time. 0.99

00:47:53.000 You're true heroes.

00:47:54.000 You're political prisoners.

00:47:56.000 But when I go to jail, it's going to be defending fart jokes and Beavis and Butthead. 0.94

00:48:01.000 That's the hell I'm willing to die on.

00:48:03.000 Like if they... I'm not going to be the person who says they came for my demolition derbies and I said nothing.

00:48:10.000 I'm going to be saying something right away.

00:48:11.000 Dude, I'm getting involved.

00:48:13.000 Like maybe someone out there knows of stuff in the New York area.

00:48:17.000 I want to sponsor a car.

00:48:18.000 I want to eventually enter in this thing.

00:48:22.000 It was fascinating.

00:48:23.000 I sent you a bunch of movies.

00:48:24.000 There's techniques.

00:48:26.000 I had front row. 1.00

00:48:27.000 I got there two hours early and just roasted my ass in the hot sun. 0.99

00:48:32.000 What you do is you rear-end guys. 0.98

00:48:35.000 Because you've got your radiator, your transmission, all this important stuff in the front.

00:48:39.000 So you want to smash someone in the front of their car with the back of your car.

00:48:44.000 You also, your goal, and this is just luck, is that the frame crumples up away from the tires.

00:48:50.000 When it crumples into the tires, you're toast.

00:48:53.000 See, there's a reverser.

00:48:55.000 He breaks the stick off to say, I'm done, stop hitting me.

00:48:58.000 I can't start my car anymore.

00:49:00.000 One of the most white things I've ever seen, mighty white of you, this guy smashes the driver's door and that's frowned upon. 0.92

00:49:09.000 So the guy gives him the finger.

00:49:11.000 And it was an accident.

00:49:12.000 No one really does that on purpose.

00:49:14.000 That's poor sportsmanship.

00:49:17.000 They got to get the cars out after.

00:49:19.000 And at the end, at the finish, my favorite line, by the way, from the whole thing was, Steve, hold it!

00:49:25.000 Because they have sirens and red flags when something goes wrong like a car is about to explode or something.

00:49:31.000 And this one guy didn't hear, and he kept ramming someone else, and his name was Steve, and they all know each other.

00:49:37.000 So the announcer was like, okay, that's a stop.

00:49:39.000 Guys, guys, guys.

00:49:40.000 Steve!

00:49:41.000 Hold it! 0.98

00:49:42.000 I must have said, Steve, hold it a hundred times.

00:49:46.000 We should make t-shirts.

00:49:47.000 Steve, hold it.

00:49:48.000 It'd say, Steve, comma, hold it!

00:49:52.000 Oh, I don't know why it was so great, but... In Creed?

00:49:58.000 Oh yeah, tons of that.

00:50:00.000 That's so Americana.

00:50:01.000 They were playing Beastie Boys, Fight for Your Right to Party. 0.99

00:50:04.000 Fucking getting tipsy, of course, was a biggie. 0.98

00:50:07.000 Man, how much were those front row seats? 0.99

00:50:11.000 Like 20 bucks?

00:50:12.000 It's about getting there early.

00:50:13.000 There's no assigned seats.

00:50:16.000 There's probably about 500 people there.

00:50:20.000 So anyway, the guy gets out of his car.

00:50:23.000 Those three just got stuck like antlers and we just had to declare one, two, three victories.

00:50:31.000 But he gets out of his car and he runs over the guy that hit him in the driver's door.

00:50:34.000 What happens next?

00:50:37.000 Puts his hand out.

00:50:37.000 No hard feelings.

00:50:40.000 I don't want any trouble.

00:50:41.000 The 8-1-2!

00:50:41.000 Nice.

00:51:02.000 See, this is why I don't get how you despise wrestling.

00:51:07.000 Because this is what this is about.

00:51:09.000 Wrong.

00:51:10.000 Wrestling is fake.

00:51:11.000 You think this is fake?

00:51:13.000 Well, it's real damage they take to their bodies.

00:51:15.000 I mean, it's showmanship.

00:51:18.000 It's like if this was rigged.

00:51:19.000 Who would care?

00:51:20.000 You're there for the smashing.

00:51:22.000 The entire beauty of it, Captain Wrong, is that you can see the damage.

00:51:27.000 You watch it in real time.

00:51:29.000 You watch these cars get more and more crumpled up.

00:51:31.000 I saw mankind bleeding from his face after he jumped off of the Hell in a Cell.

00:51:38.000 Okay, maybe someone at home can help here.

00:51:41.000 They're with me.

00:51:42.000 This was really closed quarters, too.

00:51:44.000 There was 17 cars in that particular one.

00:51:47.000 At one point, the guy, I think H&H, he got stuck.

00:51:51.000 He was raring to go, but he was surrounded by cars.

00:51:53.000 So it took him like a few minutes to elbow people out of the way.

00:52:00.000 Getting tipsy.

00:52:02.000 Okay, we're at kind of an impasse here.

00:52:04.000 I had something I wanted to cover.

00:52:08.000 Is there any of these that you want to show before we... We got this one here.

00:52:13.000 Got this one.

00:52:14.000 Yeah, you get the idea.

00:52:15.000 Just keep it going.

00:52:17.000 The Hulk.

00:52:17.000 I had all my money on him.

00:52:19.000 That's another fun thing to do is to bet.

00:52:21.000 Ooh, there's some action there.

00:52:34.000 Bonk.

00:52:36.000 So if you break your stick, that means you're done?

00:52:38.000 Yeah, leave me alone.

00:52:40.000 Okay.

00:52:41.000 But sometimes you can't see!

00:52:43.000 Right.

00:52:47.000 Uh... What do we got here?

00:52:49.000 Two o'clock?

00:52:51.000 No, it's been, it's been, not two hours, it's been one hour.

00:52:56.000 Okay, let's do it. 1.00

00:52:57.000 Fuck it. 1.00

00:52:59.000 We're gonna add an hour to the show. 1.00

00:53:13.000 Checking in on the refugees, we have an Islamist discussing virgins in the afterlife, and it sounds not so great. 1.00

00:53:25.000 One of the things he promises is no excrement.

00:53:30.000 Is that really a big deal?

00:53:31.000 Well for them.

00:53:33.000 No, but I've never, when was the last time you walked into the bathroom and a girl just blew it up? 0.77

00:53:40.000 It's not a high priority.

00:53:41.000 It's maybe happened to me once in my life, I think.

00:53:44.000 In 54 years.

00:53:46.000 Allah created for them believers chaste. 1.00

00:53:54.000 Chaste, restraining their glances.

00:53:58.000 Untouched by man or?

00:53:59.000 Jinn.

00:54:00.000 Those demon things. 0.88

00:54:03.000 Brother, do you love her?

00:54:05.000 You will be given two wives as you enter paradise. 0.99

00:54:07.000 Sounds loud.

00:54:08.000 I don't want that.

00:54:12.000 No menstruation. 0.84

00:54:13.000 Okay.

00:54:14.000 Wait, stop.

00:54:14.000 No menstruation.

00:54:16.000 All right.

00:54:16.000 I don't, you don't really come across it.

00:54:18.000 Occasionally you'll see the box in the bathroom toilet.

00:54:22.000 No childbirth. 0.96

00:54:24.000 What?

00:54:25.000 Is that gross?

00:54:27.000 No saliva, no mucus.

00:54:30.000 No saliva?

00:54:33.000 How's she gonna hock to her? 1.00

00:54:38.000 No urine.

00:54:45.000 I was dating this girl and then she went to the bathroom and peed. 1.00

00:54:48.000 Bye bye!

00:54:48.000 It's called a yellow flag.

00:54:53.000 We're done.

00:54:59.000 She would fill the earth with light and a wonderful scent.

00:55:01.000 So perfume? 0.79

00:55:04.000 Perfume and a light switch.

00:55:05.000 We have the sun and perfume.

00:55:07.000 You will be given in paradise the sexual strength of a few men.

00:55:11.000 Okay. 0.90

00:55:11.000 I wouldn't mind lasting longer. 0.90

00:55:13.000 Is that included?

00:55:25.000 Every man will be given the strength of a hundred men.

00:55:27.000 You stop reading it there.

00:55:30.000 The virgins of paradise will be jealous for you and they will sing for you.

00:55:34.000 No thanks.

00:55:39.000 So much drama.

00:55:40.000 The Prophet Muhammad said that the virgins shall sing.

00:55:42.000 He said you get two wives when you walk in. 1.00

00:55:44.000 Now it sounds like there's a bunch. 1.00

00:55:46.000 Have I got my two bottom bitches and then a bunch of sluts? 1.00

00:55:49.000 Well those are just the jealous ones. 1.00

00:55:51.000 Okay.

00:55:53.000 I've seen, real housewives, jealous women are not pleasant to be around. 1.00

00:55:58.000 They'll sing in paradise.

00:56:02.000 I'm good.

00:56:06.000 That beard with no mustache look is annoying.

00:56:09.000 It will not be like the singing of Umm Kulthum or Abdel Halim Hafez.

00:56:14.000 Good.

00:56:14.000 Thank goodness.

00:56:15.000 Thank God.

00:56:16.000 I'm all Umm Kulthum though.

00:56:20.000 You sound like Abdel.

00:56:22.000 I was told this would not sound like Abdel.

00:56:25.000 There's an Abdelian sort of melodic... Some guy with just a beard made a lot of false promises. 1.00

00:56:32.000 Is that like their ACDC and Def Leppard?

00:56:35.000 It's like you've heard enough of that.

00:56:37.000 This will not be your classic Arab rock. 0.99

00:56:46.000 Oh, who you were seduced by the obscene songs.

00:56:50.000 Like Cannibal Corpse and Rudimentary Pee-Nigh.

00:56:55.000 You who listen to profligate songs.

00:57:00.000 You cannot deny yourself of the singing of the Virgins of Paradise with their pleasant voice.

00:57:06.000 It's like a lady's choir.

00:57:08.000 At least there'll be no excrement. 0.96

00:57:14.000 Uh, this is how I felt when I heard that guy describe what, uh, Muslim paradise is like. 0.92

00:57:21.000 And I wish I could have conveyed it to him.

00:57:24.000 Cause... Brother, eww!

00:57:30.000 What's that?

00:57:33.000 What's that, brother?

00:57:37.000 That's a drop.

00:57:39.000 Yeah, you're right, that is a drop.

00:57:40.000 Absolutely.

00:57:41.000 There's never been more of a drop.

00:57:43.000 These refugees are wonderful, by the way.

00:57:45.000 Refugees are welcome here.

00:57:48.000 But the stabbing, it's taking some getting used to.

00:57:52.000 Here's a guy just randomly stabbing Brits.

00:57:54.000 Let's see if we can guess by the accent.

00:57:58.000 Someone is like, leave him alone!

00:58:08.000 What do you mean? 0.99

00:58:09.000 Just try to stab us! 1.00

00:58:10.000 Leave him alone, you brutes. 1.00

00:58:15.000 Look at this, too perfect. 1.00

00:58:17.000 The Quran and a knife. 0.53

00:58:19.000 Wow.

00:58:21.000 That's a good episode title.

00:58:23.000 The Quran and a knife. 0.53

00:58:26.000 I'm alright.

00:58:29.000 What?

00:58:35.000 Most hostile everyday carry ever.

00:58:38.000 You know how I say don't wear flip-flops and Crocs and stuff in the city because you might get in a fight and you don't want to lose your slides?

00:58:45.000 Same with headphones.

00:58:46.000 Do not wear your headphones walking around the city.

00:58:49.000 This was a funny one. 0.98

00:58:50.000 They went to stab some, this insane Muslim went to stab some British kids and he fell and stabbed himself. 1.00

00:59:01.000 Tell us what happened then. 0.96

00:59:02.000 What happened was, the foreign man on the bike... 0.98

00:59:06.000 Um, drove into a bunch of kids, all the kids, like, to the kids, like, to obviously run a move or whatnot. 0.99

00:59:12.000 So, the kids have obviously been like, what the fuck are you driving at me for? 0.98

00:59:15.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:59:15.000 So then he's, like, got off his bike and being like, come on, come on, bitch, come and fight me, bitch. 1.00

00:59:20.000 So, like, he said, come on then. 0.99

00:59:21.000 So, this, the young lad has walked up to him and being like, fight me then.

00:59:25.000 And then he's like, whip this knife out.

00:59:26.000 So, he's being like, nah, you've got a blade, you've got a blade.

00:59:28.000 So, all the kids started backing off and I mean, there was little, little, there was little, about 14 to 17, the oldest.

00:59:34.000 Yeah.

00:59:35.000 It would be nice if the English could learn English, wouldn't it?

00:59:38.000 And then started running at the kids. 0.96

00:59:41.000 And then he's obviously got his knife out, fell, and then fell on his own knife.

00:59:44.000 Is he over there now?

00:59:46.000 No, he's being took now.

00:59:47.000 And how old would you say the alleged perpetrator was?

00:59:51.000 Late 20s.

00:59:53.000 And how old was the kid?

00:59:54.000 14 to 17.

00:59:56.000 No.

00:59:57.000 He was.

00:59:57.000 No he wasn't.

00:59:58.000 He was, he was about 28.

00:59:59.000 Late 20s.

01:00:00.000 He's got an old face.

01:00:02.000 So there's a massive police presence in here.

01:00:05.000 Is this Welsh? 0.88

01:00:06.000 There's a few city centres outside Primark now.

01:00:09.000 I could only understand what them girls were saying but I believed her. 0.99

01:00:12.000 You know, someone's pulled a knife out.

01:00:15.000 Ran at these kids. 0.61

01:00:17.000 Slipped and stabbed himself. 0.99

01:00:20.000 Looking crazy.

01:00:22.000 Yeah, let's see if I can get him another view from up here.

01:00:27.000 What is the Quran saying?

01:00:28.000 Convert or die? 0.99

01:00:44.000 Remember I kept saying, why don't they just pepper spray these people? 0.99

01:00:47.000 I got an email from a British baby monster who said, it's as illegal as a gun here. 1.00

01:00:51.000 You're in big shit if you use pepper spray. 1.00

01:00:56.000 Leave him alone! 1.00

01:00:58.000 Leave him alone! 1.00

01:01:00.000 What?

01:01:15.000 So the good news is, the authorities are cleaning up and getting tough on crime.

01:01:23.000 So while they import savage refugees who are trying to stab everyone, they're also enforcing the law and making sure criminals go to prison. 1.00

01:01:32.000 Like this guy, for example.

01:01:35.000 Crimes punishable by 20 months in prison.

01:01:38.000 Waving the England flag.

01:01:39.000 Shouting at a police dog.

01:01:41.000 Crimes without punishments in the UK. 1.00

01:01:43.000 Kill with a machete. 1.00

01:01:44.000 Carrying a sword. 1.00

01:01:45.000 Cutting throats. 1.00

01:01:46.000 Child abuse. 0.99

01:01:47.000 Burning buses and shops.

01:01:51.000 What's this guy?

01:01:52.000 3-1?

01:01:54.000 Literally got away with rape?

01:01:57.000 Yesterday, a child rapist avoided jail because prisons are full, said the judge.

01:02:02.000 Man waving St.

01:02:03.000 George's Cross got two years today by Starmer's regime.

01:02:06.000 Two-tier cure.

01:02:08.000 All will be exposed in our upcoming documentary.

01:02:12.000 So that's Tommy Robinson tweeting that out.

01:02:14.000 Masked, Newcastle, dead, away, St.

01:02:15.000 George's Lake, what confounding police.

01:02:17.000 Jailed.

01:02:18.000 So Tommy, I don't, I'm not sure where he is right now.

01:02:20.000 I'm gonna go find him and visit him and talk to him before his trial on October 28th, I believe.

01:02:26.000 Because his charge is terrorism and it's like 30 years.

01:02:30.000 And he, with all the Muslims in prisons these days, he won't last. 1.00

01:02:35.000 He won't last a year. 0.99

01:02:37.000 So it's a death sentence.

01:02:39.000 And what is the terrorism?

01:02:40.000 That rally he had on July 27th.

01:02:42.000 Everyone got mad.

01:02:44.000 Well, no, I think people were mad at the little girls who were stabbed to death two days after that by an unassimilated foreigner.

01:02:55.000 An African man.

01:02:58.000 I think that's what set people off.

01:03:00.000 Not Tommy's peaceful rally, where I think there was maybe one arrest.

01:03:05.000 It's the behavior of these refugees that is pissing people off. 1.00

01:03:08.000 For example, the intense perving that is going on all over Europe right now.

01:03:14.000 It's out of control. 0.99

01:03:17.000 Like with the Dutch, these Middle Eastern migrants, migrants, they share these videos of young girls on TikTok and all the comments are like emojis about how they want to fuck these, whatever these girls are, 13. 1.00

01:03:33.000 Yummy, yummy! 0.99

01:03:35.000 Yeah, that sums it up, basically, doesn't it?

01:03:38.000 Or here's an Indian in China, not exactly Europe, but this behavior spreads. 0.97

01:03:44.000 It's spreading.

01:03:45.000 He just can't resist looking up there.

01:03:49.000 Have another one.

01:03:50.000 Come on, one more.

01:03:51.000 Yeah, yeah, go.

01:03:54.000 Or how about this Afghan immigrant kissing a German girl under the pretext of asking for directions? 0.99

01:04:01.000 Guys, you're not good at the simping.

01:04:04.000 It's not going well.

01:04:12.000 Watch this. 0.58

01:04:12.000 It's so gross. 0.58

01:04:18.000 Is this cute to him? 0.69

01:04:20.000 Look at him.

01:04:21.000 He's like 30.

01:04:22.000 She's 16.

01:04:23.000 Yeah, great.

01:04:28.000 It's a prank.

01:04:29.000 You're on camera.

01:04:30.000 Okay.

01:04:33.000 Here's more of the exact same, Afghanis in Germany. 1.00

01:04:36.000 When I was, I was just there in Berlin and you know something's up when you see lots of satellite dishes, barbershops, uh, kebab places, obviously.

01:04:50.000 And I think that's it.

01:04:52.000 Like the barbershops, Germans never cut their hair. 0.93

01:04:55.000 So when you see guys who need a haircut every two days, you realize it's the, the muzzies. 1.00

01:05:02.000 German girls are coming back from school.

01:05:04.000 Afghan immigrants are filming videos and sharing them on TikTok.

01:05:06.000 I cover the children's faces.

01:05:08.000 Here's more of that.

01:05:10.000 Lots of examples here.

01:05:12.000 Three, six.

01:05:17.000 Like, this should make you mad.

01:05:19.000 Afri- Afghan migrants recording videos of teenage girls. 1.00

01:05:23.000 And then here's some disgusting Indians being gross. 1.00

01:05:28.000 Guys. 0.99

01:05:31.000 You're doing it wrong.

01:05:32.000 Look at him. 1.00

01:05:33.000 He's so disgusting. 0.99

01:05:41.000 This is my girlfriend. 0.99

01:05:43.000 This is my girlfriend.

01:05:46.000 This is my girlfriend.

01:05:50.000 No, it's not.

01:05:51.000 It's also going down in Ontario, Canada, where they're all just getting together to film prepubescent girls playing at a park.

01:06:02.000 And they're getting confronted.

01:06:03.000 What are we doing, guys?

01:06:04.000 Warning! 0.98

01:06:05.000 You're not going to enjoy how little this guy does about his daughter being filmed.

01:06:09.000 We're here for picnic.

01:06:12.000 Picnic?

01:06:12.000 Yeah.

01:06:13.000 Where's your picnic stuff, guys?

01:06:16.000 In the car.

01:06:17.000 In the car?

01:06:17.000 Yeah.

01:06:17.000 Right, you're here for a picnic?

01:06:18.000 Yeah.

01:06:19.000 Is that what we're doing?

01:06:20.000 Yeah.

01:06:21.000 You know what you're doing?

01:06:21.000 I'm looking at you.

01:06:23.000 The guy with the camera?

01:06:25.000 Yeah, you right there.

01:06:26.000 I'm innocent, buddy.

01:06:27.000 This is a phone.

01:06:28.000 Yeah, can I see the videos?

01:06:30.000 Oh, let me see.

01:06:30.000 I'll find the videos for you.

01:06:31.000 They're right in here under... I'll send them to you with the Garbage Pills app.

01:06:36.000 Do you know exactly what you're doing?

01:06:42.000 You're creeping all the girls here. 0.99

01:06:44.000 I watched you guys. 0.99

01:06:45.000 Now you go get a bunch of dads together and beat them up. 0.99

01:06:47.000 You don't go to jail for a long ass time. 0.99

01:06:50.000 No, no, no, no, no.

01:06:51.000 You don't, you don't come to a beach and videotape the girls.

01:06:55.000 You know, exactly.

01:06:56.000 You can delete them all you want, but I got you guys on film now.

01:06:59.000 Okay?

01:07:00.000 That's nothing.

01:07:01.000 No.

01:07:04.000 All right.

01:07:05.000 We got to teach these refugees how to perf. 1.00

01:07:08.000 They don't know what they're doing.

01:07:10.000 Yeah.

01:07:11.000 It's embarrassing.

01:07:12.000 Part of immigration and part of us welcoming refugees.

01:07:16.000 Fish.

01:07:17.000 Welcoming fish into this country is helping them assimilate.

01:07:21.000 So we're going to show you the proper ways to perv.

01:07:26.000 Hit it. 1.00

01:07:34.000 Shit buddies. 1.00

01:07:36.000 Bad, bad bobbing. 1.00

01:07:39.000 You're no good at the bobs.

01:07:40.000 Looking up a dress. 1.00

01:07:41.000 Fucking shit. 1.00

01:07:47.000 We're going to give you a guide to some peyari larkies. 1.00

01:07:51.000 Some hot fucking ass. 1.00

01:07:54.000 And we do this from afar. 1.00

01:07:56.000 Here are some hot bitches for you to simp on from the privacy of your own home. 1.00

01:08:03.000 And another key to simping, the way you know you're simping is if you genuinely want her and fantasize about this lady being your wife. 0.99

01:08:15.000 If you just go, that would be a good wife. 0.99

01:08:18.000 That's fine.

01:08:18.000 That's a good, healthy simp.

01:08:22.000 Oh shit, where are my glasses buddy? 1.00

01:08:25.000 What the fucking shit? 1.00

01:08:27.000 Okay, the first lady simp session is Anna Sophia. 1.00

01:08:34.000 Oh yes, this is considered by most people here in the West to be a 10.

01:08:41.000 She is absolutely perfect.

01:08:43.000 She makes food with fast choppy edits. 0.93

01:08:47.000 Her body is perfect, though she doesn't have very big bobs. 0.99

01:08:51.000 But we don't care about bob size.

01:08:53.000 What?

01:08:54.000 I love a big bob!

01:08:56.000 You love big bobs?

01:08:58.000 I am the biggest fan of the big bobs.

01:09:00.000 I think you're thinking of a burger joint, buddy.

01:09:03.000 But look at this.

01:09:05.000 This is the woman that you should be wanting. 1.00

01:09:07.000 And by the way, when you're wanting her, you do it private.

01:09:10.000 You don't go up and take a photo of her and say, you're my girlfriend and go, you just do this from home.

01:09:17.000 And for anybody who thinks this cannot work, what are these two buddies going to tell me?

01:09:21.000 Listen, look, already a Middle Eastern man has got in his way. 1.00

01:09:28.000 So it's possible.

01:09:29.000 I don't know how he got in there.

01:09:33.000 He listened to us.

01:09:33.000 Play the audio.

01:09:35.000 She speaks perfect Italian.

01:09:36.000 She keeps saying the word help over and over again.

01:09:39.000 Some chocolate?

01:09:40.000 With your fish?

01:09:52.000 I hate to be bringing it always back to fish, but was that a fish?

01:09:56.000 That was a fish, yes.

01:10:00.000 Anyway, so you see...

01:10:02.000 Maybe, I don't know how he goes from simping online to simping in person.

01:10:06.000 Maybe just give up.

01:10:07.000 It's not going to happen for you.

01:10:09.000 So that's a 10.

01:10:10.000 That's your perfect wife. 0.99

01:10:12.000 If you get to marry her, I don't know how you're going to do it buddy, but just grab her and move to some isolated place where there will be no competition and give her an ankle bracelet and don't let her out of your sight. 0.99

01:10:28.000 This one is very similar, Elle Orlando.

01:10:31.000 She is a comedian with ties to Canada and Florida, I guess, with a name like Orlando.

01:10:38.000 She is very funny, she mostly posts, what do you call them, stories?

01:10:42.000 And you should simp on her. 0.87

01:10:45.000 She does good jokes and she does good crowd work! 1.00

01:10:49.000 And it's normal to imagine your life if you had married her.

01:10:54.000 There we go, what she's going to say.

01:10:56.000 You have a hot boyfriend, is this your boyfriend?

01:10:59.000 No?

01:10:59.000 Who is he?

01:11:00.000 Just a date?

01:11:01.000 Beth's friend's little brother?

01:11:02.000 Wait, are you kidding?

01:11:04.000 What do you mean little brother?

01:11:05.000 How old are you?

01:11:06.000 30?

01:11:11.000 Seems big enough to me!

01:11:15.000 Funny stuff. 0.99

01:11:16.000 A way to get her maybe would be to lie and pretend you have a magazine and do an interview with her and then spend tons of fucking money on that date. 1.00

01:11:25.000 And then not nag and see if she took the bait. 0.97

01:11:29.000 So that's another 10, two 10s down the hatch.

01:11:32.000 Here's another one.

01:11:34.000 I got to get the glasses bud.

01:11:36.000 You pull her up.

01:11:37.000 I think she is, oh yes.

01:11:39.000 She is a rare Indian. 0.85

01:11:41.000 This is really a better best woman with bobs and she has also virgin. 0.99

01:11:50.000 So we're going to take looks upon her until she is... I'm back buddies! 0.80

01:11:54.000 There we go.

01:11:55.000 You know I think she's a mix of a bunch of tribes but Native Americans are magic. 0.64

01:12:00.000 They are the best Indians.

01:12:02.000 We are the worst Indians out of both kinds.

01:12:06.000 And, uh, she does a lot of stories.

01:12:08.000 Now, looks-wise, she's not a perfect 10, but I like that.

01:12:12.000 You don't want a 10.

01:12:13.000 That first one that we got, the Anna Sophia, that's a lot of maintenance, buddy.

01:12:18.000 And you could never relax.

01:12:20.000 But with, uh, Nizonia, go find one of her stories, dude.

01:12:26.000 Oh, they disappear, right?

01:12:28.000 They do.

01:12:30.000 Okay. 1.00

01:12:31.000 Anyway, she's a fucking catch. 1.00

01:12:33.000 And you'd have a great life with her. 1.00

01:12:36.000 This is not... This segment is not a way to get these girls. 1.00

01:12:42.000 This segment is the kind of ladies you should be lusting after and wanting to have. 1.00

01:12:48.000 These are the best we have to offer as the Western guys.

01:12:52.000 Yes.

01:12:53.000 Okay.

01:12:54.000 Number one, two, three, four.

01:12:56.000 Genevieve Attardi.

01:12:59.000 I've mentioned her before.

01:13:00.000 I think she's some kind of South, like maybe a Filipina or something. 1.00

01:13:06.000 She's kind of getting old.

01:13:07.000 A little, a little, uh, little crow's feet and all that, which I like.

01:13:13.000 I mean, you should like.

01:13:14.000 This isn't about my taste, of course.

01:13:16.000 I'm just a random guy.

01:13:18.000 But she's a very active musician in the scene.

01:13:22.000 We've mentioned her on the show before.

01:13:23.000 I highly recommend that one.

01:13:27.000 Sophia Carbone.

01:13:29.000 I've been showing you wives up until now, right? 0.85

01:13:33.000 Ladies that I think are single that could make a great wife. 1.00

01:13:37.000 for any man and who you should be opining and fantasizing about and wondering what if what if she was in my life and we had the horses and we could be the cowboys. 0.99

01:13:51.000 Did you know cowboys used to be a gang in the days of Wyatt Earp?

01:13:57.000 At the O.K.

01:13:57.000 Corral?

01:13:58.000 I always rooted for the Indians myself.

01:14:02.000 They would have a rattlesnake headband around their cowboy hat and that meant they were a cowboy, which was a bad word.

01:14:08.000 She makes good food too. 0.91

01:14:09.000 Okay, now here's a separate section for the simping.

01:14:13.000 And this is called the warrior wives. 0.99

01:14:15.000 They are wives that are taken, so you can't really have a normal fantasy or it would mean ruining a marriage and fucking up the kids. 0.99

01:14:25.000 So this is like the ones that got away, yeah. 0.62

01:14:30.000 Mary-Kate Delvey.

01:14:32.000 Smart, driven, great wife. 1.00

01:14:37.000 Fucking hot as shit. 1.00

01:14:39.000 She was the one we talked about last week who had the trans jokes. 1.00

01:14:43.000 Where she said, where's my dick? 1.00

01:14:45.000 Rhoda or whatever. 0.99

01:14:46.000 I don't even know this video.

01:14:50.000 I bet she's going to be totally great, dude.

01:14:55.000 Begging women to be braver. 1.00

01:14:56.000 We all spent the past week watching two men beat women on live international television.

01:15:02.000 I like her kind of like voice like that.

01:15:05.000 Her nasally kind of thing. 0.98

01:15:07.000 She reminds me of that kid at the kids fair who's like, apparently, um, I've never been on live TV before.

01:15:13.000 Maybe you could pull that up, buddy.

01:15:16.000 Just write apparently state fair.

01:15:19.000 And this kid apparently when my grandpa hands me the remote we have to watch the Powerball and apparently I'm having a lot of fun.

01:15:29.000 She kind of has a similar vibe. 0.51

01:15:31.000 It was great!

01:15:33.000 What did you think about the ride?

01:15:35.000 It was great and apparently I've never been on live television before but

01:15:43.000 Apparently sometimes I don't watch the news because I'm a kid and apparently every time, apparently Grandpa just gives me a remote after we watch the Powerball.

01:15:55.000 Okay. 0.98

01:15:57.000 Anyway, she's taking Medicaid, but fucking great. 0.99

01:16:00.000 And that's the one that got away. 0.96

01:16:02.000 So it's relevant for you to check this out, my friend, because you go, OK, so this is what I would regret not marrying if that comes up.

01:16:12.000 OK, good to know.

01:16:14.000 Elle Malding, another absolute winner.

01:16:18.000 She's got a real Jersey Shore kind of vibe and she's pro 2A.

01:16:22.000 She does a lot of man on the streets. 1.00

01:16:26.000 Why can't we see her pics?

01:16:28.000 You're not following?

01:16:29.000 Oh, it's private buddy.

01:16:31.000 Private buddy.

01:16:32.000 You're logged into the wrong guy.

01:16:36.000 Don't show... Don't show the logins, but you should be logged into my fake Instagram.

01:16:43.000 Oh no, I'm just showing this.

01:16:45.000 Maybe one of these.

01:16:47.000 No, no.

01:16:49.000 Here.

01:16:49.000 Wait, wait.

01:16:52.000 There we're going.

01:16:55.000 Very healthy gal.

01:16:57.000 Some ladies you can guess what they will look like when they get old. 1.00

01:17:00.000 But that one I don't know.

01:17:03.000 Quality content from Elle.

01:17:15.000 Another one that got away pretty recently, she got away.

01:17:19.000 Isabella Riley.

01:17:20.000 She's here on the network.

01:17:21.000 You're not allowed to simp to a married lady, but you can note that a great one got away and you would have had a great life. 1.00

01:17:29.000 She's got babies coming and all kinds of shit. 1.00

01:17:34.000 Got a link. 1.00

01:17:36.000 There she is.

01:17:39.000 Little heavy on the maquillage.

01:17:40.000 A bit too much makeup, I find.

01:17:45.000 Oh, is she plumping up a little bit? 0.98

01:17:46.000 That's good news, actually.

01:17:54.000 OK, that's great.

01:17:55.000 And Isabella De Luca.

01:17:59.000 OK, now here is a. Oh, yeah, that one.

01:18:01.000 I think that one is a single one.

01:18:05.000 She should be up there.

01:18:07.000 She's not.

01:18:09.000 She's she should be up in the first category. 0.99

01:18:14.000 She's wanted for J6, by the way, buddies.

01:18:19.000 I would like to be her cellmate, huh?

01:18:21.000 Lock me up and throw away the key.

01:18:24.000 We've covered both Isabellas many, many times.

01:18:27.000 Okay.

01:18:27.000 That could be you.

01:18:29.000 Finally, we have ones that you shouldn't even think about, and not even like the other ones, where it was like, she was my, she could have been my wife, but I fucked up. 0.98

01:18:40.000 This is like, don't even think about it, buddy. 0.97

01:18:43.000 Of course, Kim Taylor Bennett, who looks exactly like Medicaid Delvey. 0.98

01:18:49.000 She's not, like the previous category was warrior wives, where they're going to be fighting for you and all this shit. 1.00

01:18:56.000 These are just very, very taken ladies who are very sexy and became great moms and wives. 1.00

01:19:03.000 So keep your eyes off them, you pig. 0.98

01:19:06.000 Same with Anna Paulina. 1.00

01:19:08.000 She's totally married.

01:19:10.000 She's a lady. 1.00

01:19:11.000 She's in politics.

01:19:12.000 I have met her in person, by the way.

01:19:15.000 And get this, ready for this neutron bomb?

01:19:18.000 She's not photogenic.

01:19:20.000 What?

01:19:21.000 But she's so pretty.

01:19:22.000 She's way prettier in person than that what you see.

01:19:26.000 That's a dog compared to what she is in real life. 1.00

01:19:30.000 So she's an 8 there, easy 10 in real life. 1.00

01:19:34.000 Oh here's another one you can't have but fucking hot as balls motherfuckers. 1.00

01:19:40.000 Jamie Mitchell. 1.00

01:19:42.000 Jamie Michelle? 0.99

01:19:44.000 You know that is the gay who strayed. 1.00

01:19:46.000 She's a total lesbian dude. 1.00

01:19:48.000 So she's not interested in hanging out with you. 0.98

01:19:51.000 I think she just got married to her life partner but she's a Jew and there's something about those lips and the way with the nose and the eyes. 1.00

01:20:00.000 Such a great setup.

01:20:03.000 I think her mouth is her best feature.

01:20:05.000 You don't usually see somebody rockin' the mouth. 0.98

01:20:08.000 There she is dressed as a man for her lesbian wedding. 1.00

01:20:13.000 But what a catch.

01:20:14.000 Oh, hanging out with Tucker like it ain't no thing. 1.00

01:20:18.000 Fuck me. 1.00

01:20:21.000 Of course, Savannah Hernandez from... 1.00

01:20:27.000 Infowars, total fucking raging hottie, but taken. 0.99

01:20:31.000 She's got a baby, I believe. 1.00

01:20:34.000 Not even close to on the books, but holy shit, you should have got, get in a time machine and see if you can hook up with that. 0.98

01:20:42.000 Savannah is very unique in that she does not give off lady vibes at all. 1.00

01:20:46.000 Her dad is a tough guy Mexican, and she's not in the least bit seductive. 1.00

01:20:53.000 She's real, a real tomboy. 0.99

01:20:56.000 Which is good in a wife. 1.00

01:20:57.000 You want your wife to be, you know, balls to the wall, dude. 1.00

01:21:02.000 Oh, who's that? 0.90

01:21:02.000 Tim Dillon and Patrick David? 0.90

01:21:05.000 That's Vince O'Shaughnessy.

01:21:08.000 Okay.

01:21:08.000 I think that's his name.

01:21:10.000 And then finally in this don't even think about it category we have Lauren Chen She seems too pure. 0.90

01:21:16.000 She seems maybe like one of these virgins that you get when you blow yourself up She's got kids. 1.00

01:21:22.000 She's got a husband. 1.00

01:21:23.000 What the fuck you perv don't even think about her. 1.00

01:21:26.000 That's none of your business and then lastly 1.00

01:21:31.000 I don't know. 0.93

01:21:31.000 We have some silly mentions here. 0.93

01:21:35.000 This is dumb. 1.00

01:21:36.000 I don't know why these dumb bitches are on the end of this list. 1.00

01:21:39.000 They're not. 1.00

01:21:40.000 I should call these dishonorable mentions. 1.00

01:21:42.000 This is the crazy bitch that was with that basketball mogul when she said he's his little puppy or something fucked up and weird. 1.00

01:21:52.000 Remember her? 1.00

01:21:54.000 She's just got a very sexy face. 1.00

01:21:57.000 But, uh, she appears to be fuckin' nuts. 1.00

01:22:00.000 And she will ruin your life. 1.00

01:22:02.000 And then, of course, total throwaway bitch, Eun-si... Eunice? 1.00

01:22:07.000 Jang? 1.00

01:22:07.000 Eun-chi Jang. 1.00

01:22:10.000 She was from Korea. 1.00

01:22:11.000 She was sort of seen as a fat ass there, because they're into the skinnies. 1.00

01:22:15.000 But here she is thick and hot as shit. 1.00

01:22:17.000 But what the fuck are you looking at that for, you weird pig? 1.00

01:22:21.000 I don't know how old she is, but she's too young for you, so don't get it off this list. 1.00

01:22:26.000 Anyway guys, that's a list of some bobs that you should be looking at and not a bunch of 12 year olds who are coming home from their fucking camp in Denmark, okay? 0.97

01:22:36.000 Hovi Benjamin made this beat. 0.92

01:22:52.000 Speaking of that kind of Indian, Nita Fashions is on the on the road again. 1.00

01:23:03.000 We are happy to announce that once again our chief tailors Mr. Peter and Anil Daswani are visiting USA from 11th of September to 27th of October.

01:23:10.000 It's pretty late notice guys.

01:23:13.000 We just got this like yesterday.

01:23:15.000 So they're in New York September 11th of all days through the 16th.

01:23:20.000 In Chicago, Dallas, Houston, Boston, pull up their shedge.

01:23:27.000 We'll probably do another meet and greet at the New York one.

01:23:32.000 Let me see your bobs. 0.65

01:23:34.000 I might do the West Palm Beach one, actually.

01:23:36.000 I'll be in town.

01:23:38.000 In Florida.

01:23:39.000 Palo Alto, San Francisco, Scottsdale, St.

01:23:42.000 Louis, Abispo, Los Angeles.

01:23:45.000 You go there, you get fitted, you drink some whiskey, you talk to the guys about various types of shirts you can choose.

01:23:53.000 I describe it as a spa for men.

01:23:57.000 One of the few places that men can be men now.

01:23:59.000 We've got 0.98

01:24:00.000 Barbershops, shitty boxing gyms, not good ones, girls will show up, dive bars, and tailors. 1.00

01:24:09.000 And of course, ladies have totally infiltrated all of these. 1.00

01:24:13.000 But at least there's a semblance of male privacy at these things.

01:24:19.000 Wow, long as hell app.

01:24:22.000 I think we barely have time to get to the letters page.

01:24:26.000 That is true.

01:24:28.000 Okay, buddy. 1.00

01:24:29.000 Let's totally rock it and roll it, you fucking shit fucker. 1.00

01:24:34.000 Let us go and let us be. 1.00

01:24:36.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad. 1.00

01:24:41.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag. 1.00

01:24:47.000 Let me touch it.

01:24:49.000 I've been having these insane pains like once a week in my thigh, my left thigh.

01:24:56.000 It feels like there's an electric eel inside of it and it almost knocks you to the ground.

01:25:02.000 And then it goes away and you don't see it again for a week.

01:25:05.000 And I looked it up online and it said it's a result of alcoholism.

01:25:10.000 Whoa.

01:25:11.000 That made me sad.

01:25:11.000 That's a coincidence.

01:25:13.000 That's what we call in the biz. 0.99

01:25:14.000 Have you ever had that?

01:25:15.000 The shooting electric pain?

01:25:16.000 No.

01:25:17.000 It's not shooting. 1.00

01:25:18.000 It's like, it's, it's like a sex toy is inside of your thigh. 1.00

01:25:22.000 Oh, vibrating? 0.99

01:25:23.000 No, not even vibrating, but like twisting. 0.91

01:25:24.000 I'm just telling sex toy for the size and it's sort of rotating and it's like, like sharp barbed wire. 0.87

01:25:32.000 Oh. 0.96

01:25:33.000 And it, it's shockingly painful.

01:25:37.000 That sounds like, is it not a charley horse?

01:25:39.000 You know the difference between a charley horse and that, right?

01:25:42.000 Wow.

01:25:43.000 Cause those come on suddenly and stronger the older I get.

01:25:46.000 Yeah, those come on when you're punched really hard.

01:25:50.000 Oh no no no, I'm talking about like a cramp then.

01:25:53.000 Yeah, okay, thanks.

01:25:55.000 Like it'll come out of nowhere.

01:25:57.000 Oh, look.

01:25:58.000 Sports drink boy.

01:26:00.000 Out of nowhere says, hi Ryan, cause I followed his sports drink thing.

01:26:04.000 I said, send me your drink, sport drink man.

01:26:07.000 You buy some.

01:26:07.000 Well, it's not clear.

01:26:09.000 It says sport drink.

01:26:10.000 So you think it's a drink and you think you get four sips for 50 bucks.

01:26:14.000 It should say powder somewhere.

01:26:16.000 It does on the site.

01:26:17.000 But wouldn't it make sense that he sends you at least some?

01:26:21.000 So you could be like, that's pretty good.

01:26:23.000 Yeah.

01:26:24.000 Come on.

01:26:26.000 Bakari Sellers has reacted to some of the controversy.

01:26:31.000 Controversy?

01:26:32.000 Controversial is doing some heavy lifting here.

01:26:35.000 I don't know what that means.

01:26:36.000 Thousands are calling for, oh the word controversial, for a controversial roast, VP of Kamala Harris at the University of South Carolina, hosted by the founder of the Proud Boys, to be cancelled over concerns it may promote white supremacy.

01:26:49.000 This guy is going to promote white supremacy?

01:26:52.000 Now I've heard everything. 0.99

01:26:54.000 You're literally brown. 0.99

01:26:55.000 You can't make this stuff up. 0.96

01:27:01.000 David Cross calls Gavin's humor mean-spirited on podcast.

01:27:05.000 Oh, we got to dig this up.

01:27:07.000 On David Cross's podcast, Sense is working overtime with guest Tommy Tiemann.

01:27:15.000 I like that guy.

01:27:16.000 Irish guy.

01:27:17.000 At the 2320 minute mark, he mentions Gavin's humor going from very funny and acerbic to just mean and hurtful. 0.50

01:27:27.000 He also states that it was a shitty thing to watch.

01:27:30.000 Well, 0.82

01:27:32.000 I resent the accusation that my humor has just become mean and hurtful.

01:27:39.000 I just completed a segment wherein we were promoting a more gentle and equiminious

01:27:49.000 Love life for refugees and for them to assimilate their passions better into Western society.

01:27:56.000 You know what that leads to?

01:27:58.000 More love.

01:27:59.000 That's right.

01:28:00.000 You're not meeting any girls by going, this is my girlfriend.

01:28:04.000 I'm helping them meet chicks.

01:28:07.000 And before, as that was happening, but in hindsight, I could put everything together.

01:28:16.000 The beginning of this just change to something ugly.

01:28:30.000 It started with, it's the first thing I noticed, was all the jokes were not as funny and they were really mean.

01:28:41.000 And then it became just mean.

01:28:43.000 It was just mean and hurtful.

01:28:45.000 Can you give an example?

01:28:47.000 And laughing at people, but without any kind of joy or funny.

01:28:53.000 It was just the lack of 0.93

01:28:56.000 And, you know, it was a shitty thing to watch.

01:29:03.000 And did that person, like, because there is a place for anger in comedy, isn't there? 0.74

01:29:08.000 There is a place for destruction.

01:29:10.000 Oh, sure.

01:29:11.000 He's not a comedian, this guy.

01:29:13.000 He wasn't a comedian, but it was, you know, a friend.

01:29:23.000 Okay, when I met David Cross, I was wearing a Speak English shirt with an American flag, and I wore a screwdriver belt buckle, to which he responded, where did you get that?

01:29:33.000 Meaning, I want one.

01:29:35.000 His jokes were always far meaner than mine.

01:29:38.000 And he's lying if he's implying that we were great pals, which we were.

01:29:43.000 We bought land together.

01:29:45.000 And then I just became evil. 0.99

01:29:49.000 He ended our friendship because it was ruining his social life and was about to destroy his career, which I never really gave him shit for. 0.99

01:29:57.000 I don't mind. 0.98

01:29:58.000 I came at his wife pretty hard, but it's because she tried to encourage my wife to divorce me.

01:30:04.000 So all bets are off after that.

01:30:05.000 I'm going to mention the fact that you had an abortion a few months before your daughter was born.

01:30:09.000 So in other words, you killed a child because she had the wrong astrological sign.

01:30:13.000 She came a little too early and inconvenienced you. 1.00

01:30:16.000 I'm going to fuck with you for that because you fucked with me, but I never fucked with David. 1.00

01:30:20.000 When I lost my ad agency in 2010 for saying trannies are just mentally ill gays, he totally had my back and was like, yeah, that's bullshit. 1.00

01:30:31.000 I can't believe these people are overreacting like that. 1.00

01:30:33.000 He's been a victim of this shit too when they killed his blackface segment on the reboot of Mr. Show on Netflix. 0.99

01:30:41.000 So we continued our friendship through my controversy and it was only 0.99

01:30:49.000 Much later in the game, what really did it for David and Amber was they have a popular celebrity Christmas party.

01:30:56.000 And I was there every year, as was my wife.

01:30:59.000 And then one year, people said, no.

01:31:03.000 This would be 2015, when Trump, it was all about Trump, obviously.

01:31:06.000 And then when Trump became big, it became very unfashionable to like anyone who likes him, like Gavin.

01:31:12.000 So his entire scene was like, shh.

01:31:14.000 And I've shown you examples of when, like, John Glazer said, sorry, I think what's, it's finally happened, Trump, has caused the inevitable.

01:31:24.000 So to pretend that my humor got too mean is just a convenient lie.

01:31:29.000 The truth is this guy stopped being my pal because I unabashedly supported Trump and I'm sure he personally could handle that because we disagreed about... I was always a conservative when we were friends and I bought him Bill McGowan's Coloring the News and I would try to change his mind on immigration regularly so we always argued about that but

01:31:50.000 The truth is the friendship ended because I'm Trump and his friends have Trump Derangement Syndrome and those two are incompatible.

01:32:00.000 And I don't mind.

01:32:00.000 What was I going to do?

01:32:01.000 Say no.

01:32:02.000 I demand you remain my friend and I go to your Christmas party and I'm the only one there.

01:32:07.000 We're friends and that's that.

01:32:09.000 You stay my friend.

01:32:10.000 Even if that means no one goes to your comedy shows and you don't get any more movies.

01:32:14.000 I demand it.

01:32:15.000 Obviously you're going to be like, I get it. 0.93

01:32:17.000 I'm a witch.

01:32:18.000 Wasn't one of them like, I, I both, we both knew this moment would come or something?

01:32:23.000 Well, David never said anything. 0.98

01:32:25.000 It was an interesting split where it was just agreed that I obviously, you know, don't want to ruin all your fucking parties. 0.99

01:32:35.000 So yeah, I get it. 0.98

01:32:37.000 And then we just stopped talking.

01:32:39.000 I sold my house because I was his neighbor.

01:32:43.000 Not because of him, because we moved to the suburbs.

01:32:46.000 But then... Let me check my last text to him.

01:32:51.000 Because you think there'd be like, dude, man, these jokes.

01:32:55.000 Oh, I remember, I think the last one might be, he asked me if I Zeke Hylde at the Deplora Ball.

01:33:02.000 And I was like, what?

01:33:04.000 Why would I do that, dude? 0.99

01:33:06.000 And, uh, oh shit, it's so many years ago. 0.97

01:33:11.000 It's not coming up. 0.96

01:33:13.000 I hope they don't delete old messages.

01:33:15.000 Do they?

01:33:16.000 I'd be pissed.

01:33:19.000 Um, and then he said, I'll tell all our friends the truth that you were not doing that. 0.97

01:33:25.000 And I was like, don't fucking bother, dude. 0.70

01:33:28.000 If they think that I was out there on a podium, Zeke Hiling, totally unironically, 1.00

01:33:35.000 Uh, they can go fuck themselves. 1.00

01:33:37.000 Okay, I'm back to 2016 now. 1.00

01:33:40.000 No?

01:33:42.000 Huh.

01:33:45.000 Maybe I deleted it?

01:33:46.000 Anyway, it's a lie. 0.99

01:33:48.000 There was no like, what the fuck, this is so ugly. 0.99

01:33:51.000 You're doing such mean jokes. 0.99

01:33:54.000 I wonder when people lie to themselves like that, if they end up believing it.

01:34:00.000 You know?

01:34:01.000 And they're like, yeah, that was the ugly thing.

01:34:04.000 And someone goes, can you give me an example?

01:34:06.000 And they go, no, I forgot.

01:34:09.000 Anyway. 0.99

01:34:10.000 Ryan is gay. 0.95

01:34:11.000 At the end of the show when Gavin says it's time for the final video. 1.00

01:34:15.000 And Ryan's dumb ass says, vidalis finalis. 0.99

01:34:18.000 Yes. 1.00

01:34:19.000 Which I would like to say I also hate when he does that.

01:34:22.000 Too bad. 0.98

01:34:23.000 So fucking annoying. 1.00

01:34:24.000 I want to shoot myself in the face. 1.00

01:34:26.000 If you are going to do the comical latinization trope, it wouldn't be vidalis finalis, you hard R retard. 1.00

01:34:35.000 There is no L in the word video.

01:34:38.000 It would be vidius finalis. 1.00

01:34:40.000 Well, fuckius youius, assholius bitchius. 1.00

01:34:45.000 That's a great segue into the final video. 0.99

01:34:48.000 And yeah, let's do it.

01:35:05.000 Okay, that was pretty mean-spirited, that song.

01:35:09.000 It's a mean song.

01:35:10.000 Least I can do is say Vidalis Finalis before it.

01:35:14.000 Um... Mean-spirited.

01:35:20.000 All he did was laugh at people. 0.99

01:35:21.000 His entire career... For fuck's sake, if you're passionate... Sorry about that, I got very... His entire career is shitting on Southerners. 1.00

01:35:30.000 And MAGA people. 1.00

01:35:31.000 And doing a fucking Southern accent about how dumb we are. 1.00

01:35:34.000 I remember he had a bit once where he was like, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot! 1.00

01:35:39.000 And it's a song by the... I forget what the band is.

01:35:44.000 That's Not them.

01:35:48.000 Lil Jon.

01:35:49.000 No, not Lil Jon.

01:35:50.000 Well, it's it is the yin-yang twins and those kids that their dads are moguls Miami they have a son. 0.84

01:35:56.000 LMFAO.

01:35:57.000 LMFAO. 0.99

01:35:58.000 And he said I didn't know what the fucking song was and it was LMFAO and then I realized oh It's young people. 1.00

01:36:04.000 They all fucking suck. 1.00

01:36:06.000 Their shit is garbage. 1.00

01:36:09.000 And that was his joke. 1.00

01:36:10.000 You ever have this thing where you're debating somebody, especially on a red pill thing?

01:36:15.000 And they're not prepared to have, like, they don't know who Justin Trudeau is, but yet they have staunch political views.

01:36:20.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:36:20.000 And then you keep pounding them with, like, information, and you're right, and they're like, why are you such an asshole? 1.00

01:36:25.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:36:25.000 That's like that, that's kind of the vibe I got from that. 1.00

01:36:28.000 It's like, I've been called mean. 0.96

01:36:30.000 But Dave and I were arguing about climate change and fucking immigration, honestly, in the, like, 2002. 0.95

01:36:37.000 So what's that? 0.98

01:36:39.000 22 years ago. 0.99

01:36:40.000 This idea that this thing took hold is just, well, it's a dumb lie. 0.85

01:36:45.000 But yeah, that is so typical of the left, that whole, I'm mad at something I don't know. 0.97

01:36:50.000 Like that girl who's mad about my talk saying that I started a white nationalist band.

01:36:59.000 You just should now.

01:37:00.000 Like you're clearly not aware, which is fine. 0.98

01:37:02.000 I'm not going through the South yelling at black girls, black 21 year olds for not being familiar with my various projects. 0.97

01:37:09.000 But to stand up and say no to that. 0.83

01:37:12.000 He made a painting called The Proud Boys.

01:37:15.000 Different medium, broad.

01:37:17.000 Now you should, just for the rule of double jeopardy, make a white supremacist band called the Proud Boys. 1.00

01:37:24.000 But there was also a lot of news articles about this talk, and I've said this a million times, whenever the news talks about something you know a lot about, your town, your favorite band, you, you see how fucking stupid they are and how terrible they are at their job. 0.99

01:37:39.000 And you realize, well, that's the thing I know a lot about, and they got 78% wrong. 0.98

01:37:44.000 They're getting 78% wrong on everything else, too.

01:37:48.000 You don't hate the media enough. 1.00

01:37:50.000 They're fucking useless. 0.99

01:37:52.000 We started this show with Mickey Nines, a Glaswegian band, singing an ode to Maradona, and we will end it with Glasgow. 1.00

01:38:01.000 I believe this is Glasgow, but it's a Scottish dub of Postman Pat. 0.99

01:38:06.000 Scottish is the funniest language in the world, and everything they say is fucking hilarious, especially when they're portraying junkie assholes. 0.99

01:38:15.000 This or this? 0.99

01:38:16.000 This.

01:38:17.000 Okay. 0.99

01:38:18.000 Oh for fuck's sake, have you pissed yourself again? 0.99

01:38:21.000 Oh I'm so sorry Pat, I didn't mean it. 0.99

01:38:23.000 I won't do it again.

01:38:24.000 Pissed is pissed. 0.97

01:38:25.000 Next time you do it, I'm going to boot you right in the fud. 0.99

01:38:27.000 Oh Pat, wait a minute.

01:38:29.000 I'm so glad I caught you there.

01:38:30.000 Could you hand deliver this package to the DWP?

01:38:33.000 They've stoked my state pension, believe it or not.

01:38:35.000 Aye, nae bother, doll. 0.98

01:38:37.000 This package is awfully suspicious looking though, Mrs Smith.

01:38:40.000 Are you understanding this?

01:38:41.000 Yeah.

01:38:43.000 This package is awfully suspicious, Mrs Smith. 0.97

01:38:45.000 Today's lesson, we will learn which of these six fruits hurts when you stick it up your bum. 0.89

01:38:49.000 But sir, we did that last week! 0.89

01:38:51.000 Oh aye, sorry, I thought this was primary ones.

01:38:54.000 Do we have any suggestions for today's class?

01:38:56.000 I've got an idea.

01:38:57.000 Why don't we go to Alloa and count how many single maws are there? 1.00

01:39:00.000 You won't be able to count that high... How many single maws are there? 1.00

01:39:04.000 As long as I can drink Monster and listen to Slipknot, I'm happy.

01:39:07.000 I'd be happy in a graveyard.

01:39:23.000 I think this is the spot he said to meet him.

01:39:25.000 Martin, are you here already?

01:39:26.000 Martin?

01:39:27.000 Aye, I'm in.

01:39:28.000 Come in when you're ready.

01:39:29.000 So nice to see you in the flesh.

01:39:31.000 Right, get your grippers out.

01:39:32.000 I'm choking for a sniff.

01:39:34.000 Right, just look at- His grippers, his socks.

01:39:36.000 He wants to smell his socks.

01:39:37.000 He's paying him for his socks.

01:39:38.000 40 quid.

01:39:40.000 And then if you want to keep the pair of socks, there's 20 quid on tap here. 0.97

01:39:43.000 Aye, hurry up then, I'm absolutely fucking erect right now. 0.98

01:39:47.000 Good morning, doll. 0.99

01:39:48.000 How's tricks?

01:39:49.000 How you doing?

01:39:50.000 Aye, I'm alright, Pat.

01:39:50.000 Like, how's yourself?

01:39:51.000 What the hell's that you're wearing?

01:39:53.000 Go at these for three quid off a TikTok shop.

01:39:55.000 They're made for the actual roadkill, do you know that? 0.99

01:39:57.000 Pat, they're absolutely fucking barking. 0.99

01:39:59.000 Get them off and get out my shop. 1.00

01:40:01.000 Aye, Pat, they're only brawling.

01:40:02.000 One slip of your big toe and it's coming at us. 0.99

01:40:04.000 They're absolutely fucking barking, meaning they smell really bad. 0.99

01:40:07.000 They're made of roadkill and one of the eyes is falling out. 0.99

01:40:11.000 Whenever I would go to pubs in Glasgow with my wife I would just lean over and translate every sentence that just came out of some drunk's mouth.

01:40:18.000 Here at the DWP head office delivering this for Mrs Smith.

01:40:21.000 Good afternoon Pat, nice to see you.

01:40:23.000 Is that a parcel that's for us aye?

01:40:25.000 Oh that's absolutely marvellous, thank you very much Pat.

01:40:28.000 Just let me nip inside and get a pen so I can sign this for you.

01:40:33.000 Alright, you get the idea.

01:40:34.000 It's funnier the first time.

01:40:35.000 Not as funny as Scottish Sesame Street, of course.

01:40:38.000 Nothing's funnier than that.

01:40:41.000 This was a free episode, free episode of the week.

01:40:43.000 The entire thing is free.

01:40:45.000 Thank you to Nita Fashions, thank you to THC Extract, and thank you to Purple Works for the privilege of providing this content free.

01:40:54.000 Please go to compoundcensored.tv

01:40:58.000 And pay, if you use the promo code Gavin, I think you get 20% off.

01:41:02.000 We've got Milo Yiannopoulos en route.

01:41:05.000 I believe Lily is coming on board.

01:41:07.000 We have, of course, Anthony Cumia, Owen Benjamin, AIU.

01:41:12.000 Some major hitters.

01:41:13.000 A Mount Everest.

01:41:15.000 Fascinating content and again, it's a wee bit of sanity.

01:41:19.000 You know what old gone mad play that clip Brian of the post-apocalyptic I honestly see it as a bunch of sane people stranded in a Democrat City like New York City or San Francisco or Los Angeles or Chicago or Madison, Wisconsin and 0.94

01:41:36.000 And wondering if there's others out there that are noticing the fucking clown world we live in where Kamala Harris promises she'll be doing all these great things when she's in control while she's in control and everyone's smiling and enjoying it. 0.95

01:41:50.000 This is what Compound Censored is all about. 0.98

01:41:58.000 Hello?

01:42:07.000 Is anyone there?

01:42:11.000 Do you hear me?

01:42:15.000 Can I show the one I made?

01:42:16.000 You made one?

01:42:17.000 Yeah, it's the same thing but just a little different.

01:42:20.000 Okay.

01:42:20.000 I think it's funny because I don't know.

01:42:22.000 I think it's gonna be anti-semitic.

01:42:23.000 No!

01:42:24.000 It's literally not.

01:42:25.000 Do you hear me?

01:42:33.000 I couldn't hear that.

01:42:34.000 It's you.

01:42:35.000 It's... Heh heh. 0.99

01:42:36.000 I'm retarded. 0.99

01:42:37.000 Yeah, that sucked. 0.97

01:42:38.000 It's just that if it's you, then it makes sense that that's... Yeah, but we can't... Jokes have to be legible. 0.95

01:42:43.000 They have to be audible.

01:42:46.000 You have to be able to hear what you're supposed to get.

01:42:49.000 Uh, thanks for tuning in, folks.

01:42:50.000 We're back behind the paywall tomorrow and for the rest of the week.

01:42:54.000 Until then, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

01:43:05.000 We're good to go.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - August 27, 2024

S4E26 - STEVE, HOLD IT!

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript