Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - July 21, 2023


S4E274 - LIVING IN A JOKE (Part 1)

Topics
Australian music scene feminism segment Johnny Appleseed CBD
Hosted by
Gavin McInnes
Mentioned
Corey Ryan Purple Works Gavin Baby Monsters Johnny Apple CBD Michael Scott Trump Pink Lemonade Pre-Workout Jump Medic Kit Drago Drizzin Jason Aldean Antifa Retard Corky Emily Saves America Barracuda Harrington Liva Albeck-Ripka Strumming Atari Sarah Silverman Mike McDonald and 31 more
S4E271 - TERRIBLE TITS, TOO (Part 1) S4E276 - ROBOTS AREN'T REAL (Part 1)

Episode Stats


Length

38 minutes

Words per minute

152.9

Word count

5,856

Sentence count

702

Harmful content

Misogyny

37

sentences flagged

Toxicity

138

sentences flagged

Hate speech

23

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGinnis is a weekly music podcast hosted by comedian and podcaster Gavin Mcinnis. This week, Gavin and Ryan discuss the Australian music scene, and why it s not growing like it should be. They also talk about Ryan's recent car accident, and what it s like to be gay at the gym. Plus, they talk about Purple Works, pre-workout lemonade, and how it makes you gay. Get off my lawn with Gavin! Subscribe to our new podcast, GONE! Subscribe, Like, and Share to stay up to date with what s going on in the world of comedy, music, and everything else going on around it. Get on your soapbox and join the movement. Subscribe and Share this podcast! Get On My Lawn is a podcast about comedy, comedy, and all things related to comedy and stand-up comedy. Produced and Edited by and . Featuring Ryan Mcnuss and Gavin Mcninnis Music: Purple Works Pink Lemonade Pre Workout Pre-Workout by Purple Works Pre- Workout by Pinky Lemonade by Purpleworks Pink lemonade is a new album out now, available on all good podcast directories. Purpleworks is a great place to get in touch with your inner artist and find out more about what you can expect from Purple Works! Purple works, pre workout, pre workout and pre workout tips and tricks, and so much more. Purple Works is a place to help you get ready for the next episode of Get Off Your Lawn. and off My Lawn by Purple works and more! . . with me on my Lawn with me off my Lawn by Ryan McNuss and I hope you re ready for a good day in the next show! Thanks for listening to my Lawn! - Gave me a chance to help me out! on this episode. - Thank Me Out My Lawn, Gave Me a little bit of your best day off and I m so much love and support me out on the road! Gotta have it like that s a little more than that - I m on my best day, Gotta get it out on my lawn by Gotta be a little better than that's not enough! , Gotta do it, I m gonna get over it with it, Gots a little less than I can do it!

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGinnis!
00:00:56.000 Once again, Australia hits it out of the park.
00:00:59.000 I don't get it.
00:00:59.000 What is going on with that big fat island?
00:01:03.000 Why is it so good?
00:01:05.000 Why is all the music?
00:01:07.000 No one lives there.
00:01:09.000 The middle of it is empty.
00:01:11.000 It's got like three cities.
00:01:13.000 It's basically Canada. 1.00
00:01:15.000 Yet, it keeps fucking destroying. 0.99
00:01:17.000 I don't even know what kind of music we just heard. 0.99
00:01:21.000 Meat Beat Manifesto?
00:01:22.000 It was like industrial pop?
00:01:25.000 What is happening?
00:01:27.000 I don't know, but this guy's wrong.
00:01:29.000 Inferno on why the Australian music scene isn't growing.
00:01:32.000 Too much ego. 1.00
00:01:33.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00
00:01:35.000 He's a rapper, I'm guessing? 1.00
00:01:38.000 Not growing.
00:01:39.000 Now the only thing I've heard people say is, calm down Gavin, it's always been awesome.
00:01:44.000 I don't agree with that.
00:01:46.000 I can think of, I said it before, the hard-on celibate rifles and the Saints.
00:01:51.000 But this is like every week.
00:01:53.000 There's another super jam.
00:01:55.000 It's an island of criminals, right?
00:01:58.000 Maybe they're like more bad boys?
00:02:00.000 So bad boys make saucy tunes?
00:02:04.000 There's COVID, they cracked, they were draconian in COVID days.
00:02:08.000 Maybe the crackdown had more people, you know, practicing their guitars or whatever?
00:02:13.000 It's one of those. 0.98
00:02:16.000 Speaking of practicing guitars, Ryan played this face-melting solo that was so fucking good. 0.93
00:02:23.000 He says he's better than Jimi Hendrix, and I'm inclined to agree with him. 0.94
00:02:28.000 You should have heard this solo.
00:02:31.000 We didn't record it, but I took a picture right after he was done.
00:02:35.000 And, uh, wow.
00:02:38.000 Face-melting.
00:02:39.000 That's why you said face-melting, because his face... So good.
00:02:44.000 And on an acoustic guitar, too.
00:02:46.000 Let me be clear, that's not me.
00:02:49.000 The hair is different.
00:02:50.000 As you know, Friday is the free show.
00:02:53.000 So we talk about our sponsors.
00:02:55.000 They bring it to you.
00:02:57.000 Today's sponsor, I'm on it right now.
00:02:59.000 I'm feeling it course through my veins.
00:03:01.000 Purple Works.
00:03:02.000 Pink lemonade pre-workout.
00:03:03.000 Let's get over it.
00:03:04.000 Let's get on it.
00:03:06.000 Oh, you know what?
00:03:08.000 Dude, it's not here because I used it.
00:03:11.000 Hold on, entertain them, entertain them, entertain them.
00:03:21.000 Oh, I thought you said entertainment, entertainment, entertainment.
00:03:25.000 No, entertain them.
00:03:26.000 Oh, hello my baby, hello.
00:03:27.000 Yeah, a little late.
00:03:29.000 So I dropped my kid off at baseball camp, forgot to do this, but luckily the studio was on the way to my gym.
00:03:36.000 So I popped into the office, cracked this open, just filled it with a few, not a few scoops, sorry, less than a scoop.
00:03:46.000 Put that in, started feeling the prickles.
00:03:48.000 You know what's funny about the prickles?
00:03:50.000 Uh, you know when you almost do something with the car and someone almost hits you and you go, oh, and I think your heart goes boom, boom, and then your veins hurt for a second?
00:03:58.000 You know what I'm talking about?
00:03:59.000 Is that how fast everything just got pulsed?
00:04:01.000 Yeah, you just feel, you feel like pins and needles in your hands for a nanosecond after the almost accident. 0.94
00:04:06.000 I get on my motorcycle all the time because I'm a pussy, but I did, I had that on Purple, uh, Purpleworks, so it was already the prickles in your hands, and then the, oh jeez, with the car accident, dude, it was like, 0.79
00:04:20.000 It was an electric shock, but you know what it does to you at the gym when you work out? 0.99
00:04:24.000 It turns you into, like, a sexy guy.
00:04:26.000 So I was doing these curls today, like this, and I took my shirt off because it was hot, and I was looking at the new muscles I've never had before on my shoulders, and instead of being like, ah, come on, I was sexy, I was like...
00:04:41.000 Like gay, I was gay. 0.88
00:04:43.000 You were gay, yeah. 0.98
00:04:43.000 I was being gay. 0.98
00:04:44.000 I've been gay at the gym, sure.
00:04:46.000 Yeah, if you stare at yourself in the mirror when you work out. 0.91
00:04:48.000 That's a guy. 0.69
00:04:49.000 It's cool and gay.
00:04:50.000 You're looking at a guy. 0.60
00:04:52.000 You're a cool gay guy. 0.99
00:04:55.000 Purpleworks makes you gay. 0.97
00:04:56.000 That's why it's purple. 0.99
00:04:59.000 It's worse than Bud Light.
00:05:01.000 Purpleworks Pink Lemonade Pre-Workout enhances your strength, energy, and focus to get you ready for even the most strenuous of workouts.
00:05:09.000 Not just for working out at the gym, lifting weights, and cardio, it's also great for playing sports, rugby, water polo, shooty hoops, football, soccer, mountain biking, hiking, boxing, listening to Ryan tell a story, and other tortuous yet strenuous activities.
00:05:22.000 Purpleworks not only enhances today's workout, but bolsters tomorrow as well.
00:05:26.000 Each scoop contains vitamins to aid in and support immune health, muscle, and tissue repair.
00:05:31.000 As RFK told us last week, Purpleworks has no artificial dyes or sweeteners, and no preservatives.
00:05:36.000 It's an expertly crafted blend of high-quality creatine, caffeine, carnosine, beta-alanine, and more.
00:05:42.000 Simply add 8 to 10 ounces of water in your shaker, which they also sell for a great low price, and you're ready to hit the gym and get your day started.
00:05:49.000 But wait, there's more!
00:05:50.000 Purple Works has a new line of products.
00:05:52.000 Fine imported Italian coffee.
00:05:56.000 Look at this!
00:06:00.000 It's nearly as good as an M&M blast!
00:06:02.000 They have instant coffee, two types of fresh ground coffees, and a big-ass 2.2 pound bag of organic whole bean coffee.
00:06:10.000 Got that here.
00:06:13.000 This isn't some drop ship product, this is the real deal.
00:06:15.000 It's great coffee for a great price, especially when you use promo code GAVIN for 15% off.
00:06:20.000 They're shipping all over the United States and Canada.
00:06:23.000 They're my favorite!
00:06:25.000 They are my favorite.
00:06:27.000 You know, this is probably not good for Purpleworks, but this morning, driving my boy, I said, oh, I gotta get, I forgot to take my pre-workout.
00:06:34.000 I guess I'll go to the studio first.
00:06:36.000 And he goes, you take pre-workout?
00:06:37.000 He's 10.
00:06:38.000 And I go, yeah.
00:06:39.000 And he goes, why does your body look like that? 0.99
00:06:43.000 That was was that supposed to be nice or no no because it sounds mean it is mean first of all not cool young man For a 53 year old dad I'm doing pretty good most of my friends are fat tubs of shit and Secondly, I'm never gonna lose this Without quitting beer and bread that's not bad. 0.99
00:07:09.000 You're just balancing it off. 0.98
00:07:10.000 Yeah, yeah, I
00:07:12.000 Like, I'm not quitting beer and bread.
00:07:14.000 That's not, I'd rather be fat.
00:07:16.000 Thank you very much.
00:07:17.000 Yeah, people are like, why aren't you like the most ripped guy ever?
00:07:19.000 It's like, well, I'm not obese.
00:07:21.000 I'm fighting that every day.
00:07:22.000 Yeah, and studies have said guys our height, well, my height, 5'11", 5'10".
00:07:28.000 If you can stay under 200 pounds, you're going to live a good long life.
00:07:33.000 And that's what I'm, I keep it at 196.
00:07:38.000 Speaking of keeping it at 196, Jason Aldean. 0.94
00:07:42.000 Dude, so he did a cool song called Try It in a Small Town, talking about BLM and Antifa riots and how we'll kill you.
00:07:49.000 That became, we talked about this yesterday, but a pro-lynching anthem, according to the dissident left.
00:07:56.000 Because, among other reasons, the town he shot the video in had a lynching 102 years ago.
00:08:05.000 Like, you're in the South.
00:08:06.000 I'm sure every town did.
00:08:08.000 And lynching, by the way, there was a lot of white dudes that were lynched. 1.00
00:08:12.000 To lynch back then, to hang someone, you just needed 12 people to agree with you that that guy sucks. 0.98
00:08:19.000 So yes, there was definitely a disproportionate number of blacks who were hanged. 0.97
00:08:23.000 Not hung hanged, but it was also just the way they did justice back then.
00:08:28.000 You have slim pickings.
00:08:29.000 Yeah.
00:08:30.000 If this map is correct.
00:08:32.000 And then we did a bit where we were like, he's saying try this in a small town because he joined Antifa and he wants you to ride in a small town. 0.87
00:08:39.000 Some people fucking took that joke seriously. 0.97
00:08:43.000 Yes, they did. 0.98
00:08:43.000 I got an apology today. 0.98
00:08:46.000 Ryan sent me a screen grab, a pic of someone going, I think what he meant was actually, if you do try in a small town, you'll get your ass kicked. 0.99
00:08:54.000 So don't do it in a small town. 0.99
00:08:56.000 And I just, whatever the emoji was, I think I just sent Ryan like, wow.
00:09:03.000 But yeah, he was talking about BLM and Antifa.
00:09:07.000 But because we live in a black monarchy where you cannot blaspheme the king, yeah that's a good one, they ignore the Antifa thing and they focus on the fact that many of the rioters were Black Lives Matter rioters. 0.89
00:09:22.000 So just to get this straight guys, you cannot criticize rioting in America because blacks were doing it and it's racist to criticize blacks. 0.81
00:09:33.000 Got it?
00:09:38.000 Sound reasonable?
00:09:41.000 It's like that article I saw.
00:09:44.000 I think it's in the notes.
00:09:46.000 Oh yeah, jump to 27. 1.00
00:09:47.000 We get these stupid sociology majors writing for CNN now. 1.00
00:09:53.000 Just random dumb chicks who have a degree in racism. 1.00
00:09:57.000 Structural racism may contribute to mass shooting, study says. 1.00
00:10:02.000 In other words, blacks killing blacks disproportionately hurts blacks. 0.99
00:10:06.000 Yeah, I know. 0.99
00:10:07.000 We're getting to the point where we're coming full circle and we have the same politics.
00:10:12.000 Yes, I agree, that's bad. 1.00
00:10:14.000 Blacks shouldn't be killing blacks. 1.00
00:10:16.000 That's racist, but what? 1.00
00:10:19.000 So this is the study she cites.
00:10:21.000 The study found that in areas with higher black populations, mass shootings are likelier to occur compared to communities with higher white populations. 0.94
00:10:30.000 There are also more black people injured and killed when mass shootings take place. 0.99
00:10:37.000 Wow. 0.98
00:10:40.000 Isn't that some breaking news? 1.00
00:10:44.000 When black people shoot black people, black people die. 0.99
00:10:47.000 Similarly, Jason Aldean, he was pulled by the Country Music Channel because he said, all this writing and stuff, that wouldn't happen in my town. 0.99
00:10:57.000 You try to smash windows and beat, and it's a politically correct video when you watch it.
00:11:03.000 But not according to Liva Albeck-Ripka.
00:11:06.000 And that's another babysitter.
00:11:08.000 The first article I just read you, the CNN one, that's some random babysitter, Nicole Garcia or something. 1.00
00:11:13.000 And here's another babysitter.
00:11:15.000 And she, of course, talks about what?
00:11:18.000 A site known for the mob lynching of Henry Choate, an 18 year old black man. 1.00
00:11:23.000 Bullshit. 1.00
00:11:25.000 Bullshit that it's known for that lynching. 1.00
00:11:29.000 Strumming Atari says it would not be received in Welltown. 1.00
00:11:31.000 You better not hurt an old lady, cuss out a cop, or stomp on the flag.
00:11:35.000 Is that racist?
00:11:39.000 It's racist to say don't hurt old ladies. 1.00
00:11:43.000 Okay, well then sign me up for the Ku Klux Klan. 1.00
00:11:49.000 Oh my god, it's low IQ garbage culture. 1.00
00:11:53.000 Look at this culture. 1.00
00:11:54.000 Island Boys have an OnlyFans.
00:11:58.000 We're familiar with Island Boys, right?
00:11:59.000 The severely disfigured retard twins who wrote the super hit 1.00
00:12:09.000 That's their claim to fame.
00:12:10.000 Yes. 0.93
00:12:11.000 And now, in order to get the OnlyFans numbers up, they've decided to be incestuous gay lovers. 0.96
00:12:18.000 I don't... Dude. 0.92
00:12:24.000 How about planet Earth?
00:12:26.000 How about America?
00:12:27.000 Can't they be arrested for that?
00:12:28.000 2023.
00:12:29.000 What's the crime?
00:12:30.000 Is incest illegal as it ought to be?
00:12:32.000 Is incest not illegal?
00:12:35.000 The fact that we have to ask.
00:12:37.000 Yeah.
00:12:37.000 Hey man, officer, I'm just curious, is it okay to make out with your twin brother?
00:12:42.000 This was actually a joke Sarah Silverman did, because men have that dumb fetish where they want to see two hot twins making out, you know, in the Budweiser bikinis fantasy. 1.00
00:12:51.000 And so her joke was making that mail and how ridiculous it is. 0.98
00:12:55.000 Well, welcome to a joke. 0.99
00:12:57.000 America is a joke.
00:12:59.000 We're living in a joke.
00:13:01.000 That's the name of today's show, Living in a Joke.
00:13:06.000 Don't look at the comments, Jesus.
00:13:08.000 What are they saying?
00:13:09.000 Yeah, hot! 1.00
00:13:09.000 It's like other gay porn. 1.00
00:13:11.000 People are like, well, if you like that, you might want to check out some dicks and balls. 1.00
00:13:17.000 Except not that accent. 0.99
00:13:20.000 You try that in my town, Island Boys.
00:13:24.000 Look at her.
00:13:25.000 This is who's writing the news now.
00:13:28.000 Get back to babysitting, ladies. 1.00
00:13:32.000 You thrive when you look after kids. 1.00
00:13:35.000 You suck. 1.00
00:13:36.000 Life After Leaving Vice? 1.00
00:13:39.000 Is that what that is?
00:13:39.000 Or it's Life After Leaving, which is in Vice.
00:13:41.000 Yeah.
00:13:44.000 Look, I bet half of their articles that women write are me-search. 1.00
00:13:50.000 Growing up with 12 siblings was really hard for me.
00:13:52.000 Being a twin sister, coming from England with Scottish parents to Canada was very hard in 1975.
00:14:02.000 But I learned to adapt.
00:14:04.000 I became a chameleon.
00:14:05.000 I was never myself.
00:14:07.000 I couldn't be my true self because I had a British accent.
00:14:15.000 And then, while we're talking about the state of men today, let's just check in on them, shall we?
00:14:20.000 This guy gets invited on stage, bad adrenaline control.
00:14:25.000 Like, my wife texted me the other day and, you know, say your wife texts you five times in a row, you just see the last one.
00:14:31.000 And the last text she wrote was, and he hung up.
00:14:35.000 And I'm like, all right.
00:14:36.000 Antifa's threatening my wife.
00:14:38.000 They're coming by the house.
00:14:40.000 Stay calm.
00:14:41.000 Adrenaline control.
00:14:42.000 Adrenaline control.
00:14:43.000 As I slowly, I pull into the gas station, turn off the gas, and then open the text.
00:14:48.000 And it's some pachyderm pretending to be from Amazon saying, oh, we have your package.
00:14:53.000 I just need your credit card and all your money to give you all the things that you love.
00:14:59.000 So, it's important to have adrenaline control.
00:15:03.000 It's something the Proud Boys are very strict about.
00:15:05.000 And that's, though it's a funny ritual to punch with the cereal, it's also a way of saying you need adrenaline control in situations.
00:15:12.000 Because even just arguing, people will start losing it and losing the argument.
00:15:19.000 So, not just physical conflict, but any kind of conflict, you need adrenaline control.
00:15:23.000 If you start panicking and freaking out, especially if you were at Taco Bell earlier, then this is what happens when you finally get to rap with your favorite rapper on stage.
00:15:35.000 No, it's okay.
00:15:40.000 I'm not okay.
00:15:41.000 I'm not okay.
00:15:43.000 I'm good.
00:15:44.000 I still want to rap with you, yo.
00:15:47.000 Alright, one more.
00:15:58.000 No, I don't think that.
00:16:01.000 I'm done.
00:16:02.000 I'm done.
00:16:03.000 I will never financially recover from this.
00:16:05.000 The bass feels different up here.
00:16:07.000 Yeah, the best part is him coming over to say hi.
00:16:12.000 No, I'm good!
00:16:15.000 I'm good for pals on stage.
00:16:17.000 I like, my pals don't barf. 1.00
00:16:20.000 It's like when Trump said, I prefer soldiers who don't get arrested.
00:16:26.000 I prefer rappers who aren't puking.
00:16:28.000 That's just my taste in music though.
00:16:31.000 Well he's got Yeezys on, maybe he's, it's a boycott.
00:16:35.000 He's queasy.
00:16:36.000 He's got the queasy.
00:16:38.000 He's got the queasy on his Yeezys. 1.00
00:16:42.000 I wanted to, oh fuck. 0.99
00:16:42.000 All right, apparently Matty's gonna be commenting that since I'm logged in with his Instagram. 0.99
00:16:52.000 Speaking of being ill and needing help, Jump Medic is the first and only company that lets you customize your own first aid kit.
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00:17:11.000 My son, he needed 17 stitches.
00:17:13.000 He goes, check this out.
00:17:14.000 I can jump up on this, you know, those jump boxes thing, but it was a cement block.
00:17:19.000 He lands on his knee.
00:17:21.000 You can see the white.
00:17:23.000 It went right down to the bone.
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00:17:28.000 They have the ego of LeBron James and the skills of the rapper we just saw.
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00:17:44.000 Boop! 0.95
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00:17:58.000 I mean, you gotta have this in your trunk.
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00:18:48.000 Or, if you have really bad judgment, you could also enter GavinSucks.
00:18:54.000 But, I mean, why?
00:18:55.000 I don't know why you'd even bother doing that.
00:18:57.000 By this time next week... I trusted you!
00:19:00.000 By this time next week, we will determine once and for all who sucks. 0.92
00:19:05.000 And I think we all know who it's gonna be. 0.98
00:19:10.000 The guy with the melted face. 1.00
00:19:12.000 Is Vin Diesel the dumbest man? 1.00
00:19:14.000 That sounds like a James Bond movie. 1.00
00:19:17.000 Like a Sean Connery one though?
00:19:19.000 The man with the melted face.
00:19:31.000 We're gonna, we'll have one more sponsor.
00:19:35.000 How's Nita Fashions?
00:19:36.000 Have they done their tour?
00:19:37.000 Let's check in on them.
00:19:38.000 I can't believe we didn't go see them in Tampa.
00:19:41.000 You know, everybody was in Tampa.
00:19:42.000 The entire world was in Tampa.
00:19:45.000 All of our buddies, and we didn't see any of them.
00:19:48.000 My friend Scoop, all the Athpak guys. 1.00
00:19:50.000 Sneeko was on the list for Sunday night.
00:19:52.000 Oh really?
00:19:53.000 But that's the same night that
00:19:53.000 Yeah.
00:19:56.000 Nick Fuentes, Charlie Kirk, Roger Stone, Laura Loomer, Trump.
00:20:03.000 Trump?
00:20:04.000 Patrick McDavid.
00:20:05.000 But I'm very optimistic about that Saturday show.
00:20:08.000 I really want to see the footage.
00:20:09.000 Because we had Matt filming, but then we also had those documentarian dudes scooching around, so that's a lot to cut to.
00:20:18.000 Could be a little special, Eshel.
00:20:21.000 It could be a fun thing to show.
00:20:23.000 I might have to take Monday off, folks.
00:20:26.000 But, uh, do not fret.
00:20:27.000 We have an interview with, uh, Drago Drizzin.
00:20:32.000 Drizzin.
00:20:33.000 Drizzin?
00:20:34.000 Drizzin?
00:20:36.000 You sort of say urine.
00:20:37.000 You say urine drunk.
00:20:39.000 Drizzin.
00:20:40.000 Drago Drizzin.
00:20:43.000 Uh, so I'll, we'll plug that.
00:20:45.000 It's done, I guess.
00:20:46.000 So they're done.
00:20:47.000 Done their tour.
00:20:48.000 But that doesn't mean that you don't
00:20:50.000 I think so.
00:20:58.000 Clothy measuring things get that on Amazon and then they measure up the neck in seam and everything as Ryan points out It's a great way to court a lady Because she's touching you and then you can choose the fabrics get a suit start cheap Spend money.
00:21:15.000 I forget I could they have my measurements.
00:21:17.000 I could just ask them for a shirt, please Yeah, who's that guy?
00:21:21.000 Thicker quality, there's me getting sized up, wearing a Barracuda Harrington and a Portugal flannel with some Filson pants, American optical glasses made in America, and then of course the Todd Snyder low-cut white chucks.
00:21:42.000 That's an incredible outfit I have on right there.
00:21:46.000 Speaking of the state of men today,
00:21:49.000 This is something I don't approve of.
00:21:52.000 And whenever I think of a dominatrix, first of all, I don't like the concept of men being abused.
00:21:58.000 I think we get enough abuse in our day to day.
00:22:00.000 But you're supposed to wear stilettos, right?
00:22:05.000 And you're supposed to be in the privacy of a hotel room.
00:22:11.000 So, this is, this is modern sexuality. 1.00
00:22:14.000 First of all, you're wearing those stupid, whatever they call those boots. 1.00
00:22:18.000 The Mr. Fred boots. 1.00
00:22:20.000 Ow! 1.00
00:22:22.000 Look at what she's wearing. 1.00
00:22:23.000 She says burning.
00:22:27.000 Is that annoying that she has those boots on? 1.00
00:22:31.000 With her fake tits? 1.00
00:22:33.000 This is the state of America today. 1.00
00:22:35.000 We are living in a joke.
00:22:36.000 This is a woman. 0.86
00:22:37.000 This is someone's daughter. 1.00
00:22:40.000 Fake tits at the age of like 22. 1.00
00:22:44.000 And then look at this chick's fucking shoes. 1.00
00:22:47.000 Wait, what'd you do? 1.00
00:22:48.000 Oh.
00:22:49.000 Another chick? 1.00
00:22:51.000 Yeah.
00:22:54.000 What is she wearing?
00:22:55.000 What, are you going to the beach in the 90s?
00:22:57.000 Platform raver sandals?
00:23:00.000 Like you have all that lingerie all ready to rock.
00:23:02.000 It has to end with stilettos. 1.00
00:23:06.000 That was a really good kick.
00:23:07.000 As far as ball kicks go.
00:23:09.000 I don't think they really care about the man's health either.
00:23:12.000 They could make him infertile.
00:23:14.000 I don't think they care.
00:23:15.000 These aren't nice people.
00:23:18.000 That's gross.
00:23:20.000 Unless you know her.
00:23:22.000 Unless you're dating.
00:23:25.000 I'm obviously annoyed that men enjoy this, but I'm also annoyed at their shoes.
00:23:32.000 I remember when I was thinking about this, is like, is that something I'm into?
00:23:35.000 Like, when you're like in high school. 0.99
00:23:38.000 And they're like, no, they don't fuck you. 1.00
00:23:40.000 Yeah. 1.00
00:23:41.000 Why would I want to do this?
00:23:42.000 No, I learned at a very young age, it's not for me.
00:23:45.000 I remember this girl tied me up.
00:23:46.000 Pouchy.
00:23:47.000 Like she tied my wrist together.
00:23:48.000 Yeah.
00:23:49.000 And the first thing I did, I must have been like 20, the first thing I did was undo the knots.
00:23:54.000 I kept my arms there so she wouldn't know.
00:23:56.000 And then it was July and she rubbed, I guess she saw this on a Spike Lee joint, she put ice all over my body. 0.99
00:24:04.000 So like, my dick is shrinking, I'm shivering, I'm so fucking cold. 0.99
00:24:09.000 And the hot wax isn't good either. 0.99
00:24:11.000 Well, it's not bad, but it's like, why?
00:24:14.000 Yeah, I don't criticize people's sexualities, it's up to you, but I don't like your sexuality if that's what you're into. 1.00
00:24:21.000 It's dumb. 0.99
00:24:22.000 I remember hearing that Fat Mike from NoFX, he likes to be zipped up into a latex bag. 0.99
00:24:29.000 So imagine a sleeping bag that covers your head with just a breathing tube and like little eye things and then get the shit beaten out of them. 0.98
00:24:36.000 No, I need to be in control. 0.98
00:24:39.000 Like, yeah, what if someone, what if there's a fire and she faints and now you're sitting there in a house fire cooking in a latex bag?
00:24:48.000 What an embarrassing way to die.
00:24:50.000 Ugh.
00:24:51.000 You ever get there?
00:24:52.000 They get there and it's all, you're all fused as one.
00:24:54.000 You're just this melted latex blob.
00:24:58.000 No thanks.
00:24:59.000 Please don't report on this and they're gonna.
00:25:03.000 I got a lot of feminism I want to get to but I think the people who don't pay are gonna miss it. 1.00
00:25:09.000 Are we putting these on Rumble?
00:25:11.000 We are.
00:25:12.000 So why are people emailing me saying you guys should put the free part on Rumble?
00:25:17.000 You know, it's, I think that's an issue with, uh, we have limited options to advertise that sort of thing.
00:25:22.000 But if you go to our links, um, oh, it hasn't been changed yet.
00:25:27.000 I got to get on our guide to change that and put it, uh, put our any link on there.
00:25:33.000 What is it called?
00:25:34.000 Link tree?
00:25:35.000 Link tree.
00:25:35.000 Yeah.
00:25:36.000 So what's our rumble handle?
00:25:39.000 Censored dot written out?
00:25:41.000 Let me see here.
00:25:42.000 Go into link tree.
00:25:44.000 You just said it's not on our link tree.
00:25:46.000 No, no, no, it is, but we need the link tree on the site.
00:25:48.000 So if you follow us on Twitter, you'll see that it's there.
00:25:51.000 Rumble.
00:25:52.000 It doesn't sound very easy to find us.
00:25:54.000 Censored.tv official.
00:25:56.000 Censored.tv official is our Rumble.
00:25:58.000 Yeah, not dot.
00:25:59.000 Censored.
00:26:00.000 What is the exact name of our Rumble?
00:26:02.000 Censored.tv.
00:26:03.000 But if you want to, you know, you can go to rumble.com slash censored.
00:26:07.000 It's been a while since you've been on there, but there's an account name and then there's a display name.
00:26:14.000 Either will get you there, but if you type in censored.tv
00:26:29.000 Or censored.
00:26:29.000 Yeah, let's see censored.tv.
00:26:31.000 Everything comes up.
00:26:32.000 It's a search bar.
00:26:33.000 It's very... We're in the modern world.
00:26:35.000 We don't have to put www.
00:26:36.000 You could put censored Gavin.
00:26:39.000 If people were smart enough, they'd be able to find you.
00:26:42.000 They're just not.
00:26:43.000 Well, that didn't come up.
00:26:44.000 Yes, it did.
00:26:45.000 I put in censored Gavin.
00:26:47.000 Yeah, and that's Gavin Baby Monsters.
00:26:49.000 But look at all these clips of us.
00:26:52.000 Right, but is that the account?
00:26:53.000 Gavin Baby Monsters?
00:26:54.000 No, but it serves the same purpose.
00:26:56.000 You get free clips of us.
00:26:58.000 Okay, but that's not what I was asking.
00:27:01.000 I was talking about this show.
00:27:03.000 How do we see this show on Rumble?
00:27:06.000 Just censored TV.
00:27:08.000 That's it.
00:27:08.000 Okay, stop saying dot TV.
00:27:11.000 But that's what you could type too.
00:27:13.000 It knows.
00:27:15.000 Okay, so but it's called censored TV official.
00:27:19.000 Yes.
00:27:20.000 Yikes.
00:27:20.000 Right?
00:27:25.000 Here's some old news.
00:27:27.000 You come here for the latest hot topics, some breaking news.
00:27:36.000 This is like from June.
00:27:37.000 I hadn't heard of this.
00:27:38.000 Now, I know the story.
00:27:39.000 You know that the chick who was adopted in Ukraine and turned out to be a woman? 0.69
00:27:45.000 I missed this docu-series, 1-7, because a friend texted me and she goes, uh, the guy in that docu-series, whatever it's called, this guy, is Michael Scott meets, uh, Casey- what's that?
00:28:00.000 Retard guy? 0.99
00:28:01.000 Corey?
00:28:03.000 What's his name?
00:28:04.000 Corey.
00:28:05.000 Retard guy. 1.00
00:28:06.000 Corey.
00:28:07.000 He was on a sitcom.
00:28:10.000 I don't think I know. 0.98
00:28:12.000 He's the only retard that's ever been on TV. 1.00
00:28:17.000 Casey? 0.99
00:28:19.000 Corey?
00:28:19.000 Let me see.
00:28:21.000 Famous retard. 1.00
00:28:24.000 It's not gonna be on there.
00:28:27.000 Thanks for helping out.
00:28:29.000 What was the show?
00:28:30.000 Corey saves America or something?
00:28:32.000 What was it?
00:28:32.000 Corey... Anyway.
00:28:36.000 Was it recent or in the 90s or something?
00:28:37.000 It was the 90s.
00:28:37.000 Oh.
00:28:40.000 But it turns out that yes, they did adopt a Ukrainian woman who was pretending to be a kid.
00:28:47.000 Yes, that tiny woman did try to kill them, but it's starting to sound like they abused her too. 0.72
00:28:55.000 And maybe she was trying to kill them to save herself. 0.74
00:28:57.000 So I haven't seen this yet, folks.
00:28:58.000 Was it Life Goes On?
00:29:00.000 Yeah.
00:29:01.000 I never saw that show.
00:29:03.000 Me neither, but it's a famous reference.
00:29:05.000 Everyone knows.
00:29:06.000 And what's his name?
00:29:09.000 Charles, known as Corky.
00:29:10.000 Corky, that's it.
00:29:12.000 So she's like, he's half Corky, half Michael Scott.
00:29:17.000 Um, but let's hear him.
00:29:19.000 I will pre-warn you, you might not like the truth.
00:29:23.000 Zoom out so people can see the title.
00:29:28.000 Curious case of Natalia Grace.
00:29:29.000 We were in a very tight-knit family.
00:29:31.000 April 26th, 2010, that's the day that we adopted Natalia.
00:29:35.000 We had no idea what we were dealing with.
00:29:37.000 She's not six.
00:29:39.000 She was an adult!
00:29:40.000 You could just tell!
00:29:41.000 I'm like, whoa.
00:29:43.000 Natalia was told her new birthday at the orphanage in Ukraine. 0.93
00:29:48.000 She threatened to stab my sons. 0.99
00:29:50.000 I definitely didn't feel safe around Natalia. 0.99
00:29:52.000 You've adopted a kid and now they're trying to kill you.
00:29:54.000 I mean, it's the stuff of a horror movie.
00:29:56.000 It is a horror movie.
00:29:57.000 Called Orphan.
00:30:00.000 One night, I opened my eyes and Natalia's standing at the foot of the bed with a knife in her hand. 0.89
00:30:06.000 He wants to be a star so bad.
00:30:09.000 The prosecutors went to Ukraine... ...to track down Natalia's biological mother.
00:30:13.000 Maybe there's more than one villain in this story.
00:30:16.000 Michael accuses Christine of beating Natalia.
00:30:18.000 My mom is definitely not 100% innocent. 0.93
00:30:38.000 Do you lie because she told you to lie?
00:30:40.000 Yes.
00:30:41.000 It's like a Rubik's Cube.
00:30:43.000 Just when you think you have it solved, you find out you don't.
00:30:45.000 We were all abused!
00:30:48.000 Oh.
00:30:48.000 Wow.
00:30:49.000 Did you want to hurt him?
00:30:51.000 It's all gonna come to light.
00:30:52.000 It'd be very good if you just quit talking.
00:30:54.000 We're in deep, deep trouble.
00:30:57.000 Well, kicking down the stairs, we said we're not going to say, right? 0.97
00:31:00.000 Oh, ****. 0.95
00:31:01.000 I still have my microphone on. 0.94
00:31:03.000 You gotta see.
00:31:04.000 Oh, no.
00:31:04.000 Look at this.
00:31:10.000 Sold! 1.00
00:31:11.000 Damn. 1.00
00:31:12.000 So we missed it, right? 1.00
00:31:13.000 Yeah.
00:31:14.000 We'll dig that up.
00:31:15.000 That looks awesome.
00:31:15.000 It is a horror movie, though.
00:31:16.000 Orphan.
00:31:17.000 And in the movie, which is really good, the acting is great in it, the parents are perfectly innocent angels, and the orphan is evil, and she's in love with the dad.
00:31:30.000 By the way, folks, don't adopt overseas.
00:31:33.000 Stop it.
00:31:35.000 Don't get dogs from the pound.
00:31:36.000 You don't know the background.
00:31:37.000 They probably bit a kid. 1.00
00:31:39.000 And don't get kids from the global pound.
00:31:43.000 They probably have fetal alcohol syndrome.
00:31:46.000 Okay?
00:31:47.000 There's plenty of American kids to adopt. 0.73
00:31:49.000 I know they're disproportionately black.
00:31:50.000 So what? 0.99
00:31:51.000 Adopt a black kid. 1.00
00:31:54.000 Stop adopting. 1.00
00:31:54.000 Go into China. 1.00
00:31:55.000 This is our new student.
00:31:57.000 And I'd like you all to make her feel very welcome today.
00:32:00.000 Oh, look.
00:32:01.000 Little Bo Peep texted me.
00:32:02.000 She wants her outfit back. 1.00
00:32:06.000 You're dead. 0.99
00:32:09.000 I'm drinking vodka. 0.99
00:32:10.000 It's Daphne when she doesn't get a waffle immediately.
00:32:13.000 Anyway, you get the idea.
00:32:33.000 Trailers give away way too much these days.
00:32:34.000 What kind of trouble?
00:32:36.000 So this is a good segue to feminism, which I've been wanting to talk about the entire show.
00:32:42.000 I want to talk about surrogates.
00:32:45.000 This couple, probably gay, they got a surrogate and then the mother got breast cancer and said, okay, I want to take her out early, get her, you know, earth side. 1.00
00:32:57.000 And induced?
00:32:59.000 And she'll survive.
00:33:00.000 And then I can get chemotherapy and live.
00:33:02.000 And they're like, nah, we don't want her anymore. 0.79
00:33:04.000 And she goes, well, I'll adopt her.
00:33:05.000 And they go, no, she's ours. 1.00
00:33:06.000 We're going to have her killed. 1.00
00:33:07.000 What? 1.00
00:33:08.000 So I want to get to that in a second.
00:33:10.000 But that's in our feminism segment. 1.00
00:33:11.000 Who here identifies as a feminist? 1.00
00:33:13.000 Stop.
00:33:14.000 Stop.
00:33:15.000 Stop.
00:33:15.000 I don't want this to be free anymore.
00:33:18.000 Rewind!
00:33:20.000 I want this to be behind the paywall, so we'll bid adieu to our friends with some Johnny Apple CBD, our final sponsor for the free portion of Get Off My Lawn.
00:33:32.000 Today's episode of Get Off My Lawn is proudly sponsored by Johnny Apple CBD, our loyal sponsor since day one.
00:33:38.000 I always say, you know when you wake up with the tears?
00:33:41.000 My personal experience is if I take a CBD before bed and I've been drinking, I do not wake up with the tears.
00:33:47.000 I thought it was the hares. 0.59
00:33:48.000 It is the hares, but people think you mean prostitutes when you say it hares.
00:33:53.000 So I changed it to terrors.
00:33:56.000 They offer an incredible line of CBD, CBN, and now Delta 8 and 9 gummies.
00:34:03.000 I am hearing from many of the top scientists that these Delta 8 and 9 gummies are nearly voodoo! 1.00
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00:34:16.000 Yeah, I've told you the guys at my gym use the cream for their sore muscles.
00:34:20.000 I don't work hard enough to get sore muscles.
00:34:23.000 If you're looking for something a little more adult, then definitely check out their Delta 9 Indica and hybrid gummies to get completely mellowed out and feeling good.
00:34:32.000 And for you functional stoners, their D8 gummies are potent, but help keep you alert and productive. 0.95
00:34:38.000 Just a note, the Delta 8 and hybrid gummies can show up at a drug test, so stick with CBD if that's an issue.
00:34:45.000 Their gummies are sugar-free and delicious, yet sometimes still have the complex flavor of an M&M blast.
00:34:55.000 That's a little danger right there.
00:34:57.000 Yeah, I didn't really let that rip because I wasn't confident.
00:35:00.000 It's like if that wrapper on stage was upside down.
00:35:02.000 Stay back! 0.98
00:35:10.000 They also have amazing vapes, tinctures, and some of the best topicals on the market that are smooth and easy to use.
00:35:16.000 Use code GAVIN at checkout and get 25% off your entire order.
00:35:20.000 Infinitely cheaper than buying from the dispensary.
00:35:22.000 And by the way, I've tried everything.
00:35:24.000 Every sponsor here.
00:35:27.000 I've ran out of Johnny Apple CBD.
00:35:28.000 I went through piles and piles of gummies.
00:35:30.000 Tincture's good.
00:35:31.000 I used Purple Works.
00:35:32.000 I agree.
00:35:33.000 To work out.
00:35:34.000 And remember, I had that fingernail that was cut the wrong way.
00:35:39.000 And I used my Jump Medic Kit to alleviate the pain. 0.98
00:35:43.000 So, I'm not making this shit up. 0.97
00:35:46.000 But yes, we're about to go behind the paywall. 0.99
00:35:48.000 Only the payers get to watch this.
00:35:50.000 Ten bucks a month, more TV than you can shake a stick at.
00:35:54.000 We also do live comedy shows, meet and greets.
00:35:57.000 There's always different things.
00:36:00.000 Sit down interviews, streeters, long form interviews. 0.99
00:36:06.000 I'm going to get Emily Saves America, I think, next week to talk about being gorgeous.
00:36:11.000 We both have to
00:36:12.000 Not hang out with ugly people because they stress us out.
00:36:15.000 I know, it's tough. 1.00
00:36:17.000 Being gorgeous definitely sucks.
00:36:19.000 Well, the worst part is no one has any sympathy for us. 0.98
00:36:22.000 They're like, oh, you get whatever you want.
00:36:23.000 We get a lot of stuff.
00:36:25.000 We also get a lot of flack.
00:36:27.000 And a lot of hate from the less, the un-gorgeous.
00:36:30.000 Did we ever tell that story?
00:36:31.000 That's what we call them.
00:36:32.000 We're the OGs, they're the UGs. 0.86
00:36:34.000 Ugly, un-gorgeous.
00:36:35.000 Ungorgeous.
00:36:37.000 Do you ever tell that story about how in Austin, Texas, I come downstairs and you... I think you had just gotten a haircut?
00:36:46.000 Uh-huh.
00:36:46.000 And you were like, I thought you were being extra charming.
00:36:49.000 And you were like, hey, what's up, blah blah blah.
00:36:52.000 But I think you were just tired, and I was like, look at you, thinking you're Mr. Gorgeous over here.
00:36:58.000 And you're like, dude, I don't feel gorgeous. 0.99
00:37:01.000 You're gay. 1.00
00:37:02.000 And you're like, because the funny thing is, I feel like shit right now. 1.00
00:37:07.000 He's like, you think I'm gorgeous. 0.97
00:37:09.000 And that was...
00:37:11.000 Not the greatest delivery on earth, but kind of a cute story.
00:37:14.000 It was funny, though.
00:37:16.000 But I didn't think that.
00:37:17.000 I just thought you were acting smoky like this.
00:37:19.000 Yeah, and we've got new contributors coming up, too.
00:37:23.000 America's never been more insane.
00:37:24.000 You saw the Island Boys making out. 0.99
00:37:26.000 You're going to think you're losing your fucking mind without Censored.TV to make you feel sane for an hour and a half a day. 0.98
00:37:34.000 And I deliver content every single day, no matter what. 0.99
00:37:38.000 365 days a year.
00:37:39.000 Boom, boom, boom.
00:37:41.000 Christmas Day, we have a show.
00:37:43.000 Memorial Day, I had these interviews with vets talking about Vietnam.
00:37:47.000 I had a vet who was in Vietnam and Desert Storm.
00:37:52.000 One of the youngest guys in Vietnam and the oldest guys at Desert Storm.
00:37:55.000 Anyway, it goes on and on and on.
00:37:57.000 You're making a mistake if you're not subscribed.
00:38:00.000 So we're gonna deep dive into some hilarious feminism and that's gonna be after this, I don't know, 10 second break? 1.00
00:38:09.000 So, to the freeloaders, I'll say what I say to everyone at the end of every show.
00:38:14.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.