Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - August 04, 2023


S4E279 - BABY AL CAPONES (Part 1)


Episode Stats


Length

50 minutes

Words per minute

141.40178

Word count

7,162

Sentence count

849

Harmful content

Misogyny

48

sentences flagged

Hate speech

52

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Gavin McInnes ( ) joins us live from New York to talk about the new Weezer album "Blame It On Me" and much more. We also talk about a bunch of other stuff, including the new Jussie Smollett album, the new Black Sabbath album, and the new Kanye West album. Also, we talk about some other shit. We hope you enjoy this episode, and stay tuned for the next one coming soon! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. All rights reserved. Used by permission. Produced by Riley Bray. This episode was produced and edited by Kaitlyn Ward and Alex Blumberg. The opinions stated here are our own, not those of our companies, unless otherwise stated. We do not own the rights to any music used in this episode. It was produced, written, produced, and produced by our patrons. If you like what you hear, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and/or subscribe to our podcast. Thank you for supporting the show. You can be reached at bit.ly/getoffmylawn. Subscribe to our Podcasts on Podchaser Subscribe on iTunes. Rate/subscribe on PodChaser and review our podcast on iTunes! We are a proud supporter of the show, and review it on review on iTunes and review the show on PODCAST. Thank you and review us on Anchor. Thanks for listening to the show and reviewing it on Apple Music, and share it on your favorite streaming services and reviews on social media! It helps us spread the word out there's a little bit more than just about everywhere else in the world. Thanks for supporting us everywhere else and we're spreading the word about it's a good day out there. Love you're listening to us out there! XOXO, GAVIN ( ) and we appreciate it. - Thank you, Gavyn ( ) XO, RYAN ( ) is a lot of love, Gave it out and we've got it out there and we love you, too much love, enough love, etc etc etc. etc etc., etc. etc, etc. Thanks, bye, bye. etc. - VEGAS, etc, KELLY, RAYMORO

Transcript

Transcripts from "Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes" are sourced from the Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool. Explore them interactively here.
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
00:00:58.000 What does that remind me of?
00:01:02.000 It's not cake.
00:01:03.000 It's not pavement or Weezer or... Wait, kind of Weezer-y.
00:01:07.000 It is kind of Weezer-y.
00:01:08.000 Maybe it's Weezer.
00:01:09.000 Yeah.
00:01:10.000 The guitar is especially like that.
00:01:15.000 Play Weezer.
00:01:17.000 That guy's name's Tobias.
00:01:18.000 He's a fellow hoser.
00:01:22.000 North Vancouver dude.
00:01:24.000 Lived in L.A.
00:01:25.000 for a while.
00:01:26.000 He's a great singer-songwriter.
00:01:27.000 He's like a wonder kid.
00:01:29.000 Writes for Adele and all kinds of pop stars.
00:01:41.000 I think the bass is playing chords.
00:01:47.000 Not in this one, but... So maybe it's like, uh, Built to Spill or something?
00:01:52.000 Built to Spill... The fuzz is really... You don't know Smashing Pumpkins?
00:01:56.000 Any of that?
00:01:56.000 No.
00:01:58.000 I mean, not saying that you love it, but it reminds you of it.
00:02:01.000 No, it's the vocals that sound like the same.
00:02:06.000 Oh.
00:02:06.000 Um...
00:02:13.000 Yeah, really impressive guy, award-winning songwriter.
00:02:16.000 He could be rich as shit and live in LA, but he prefers to hang out with his Australian wife and kid in Hosier Town.
00:02:25.000 Do you think he's good because she's Australian and he's getting some of the magic? 1.00
00:02:30.000 Cheating, are we?
00:02:31.000 No, he's been a successful singer-songwriter and musician for a long time.
00:02:37.000 Um, I don't know if this is going to be a good show.
00:02:40.000 Don't get your hopes up.
00:02:42.000 Why don't we try to make it bad?
00:02:43.000 That's kind of funny.
00:02:45.000 That's a new angle here.
00:02:47.000 It's the shitty episode.
00:02:52.000 Ah, fuck.
00:02:53.000 F-A-O, bro, bra.
00:02:55.000 See, even that was shitty.
00:02:57.000 What was that?
00:02:58.000 I've never seen that drop before.
00:02:59.000 Yeah, yeah, look.
00:03:01.000 L-O-L-L-M-F-A-O, bro, bra, dude. 0.64
00:03:07.000 Was he anti-slang?
00:03:09.000 You're not allowed to use acronyms?
00:03:12.000 Yeah, step on the crack, break your mother's back. 0.98
00:03:14.000 Yeah, I don't think so.
00:03:15.000 It's called a lie.
00:03:16.000 Are you coming for my bro, bro?
00:03:20.000 I love bro and dude.
00:03:22.000 He does it with racial epithets?
00:03:24.000 When someone sends you some, like cop goes into mall and shoots 10 people for no reason.
00:03:29.000 If someone sent me that as a news thing, I would respond, dude.
00:03:35.000 Or even some perfect naked lady? 1.00
00:03:38.000 Dude.
00:03:39.000 Holy crap.
00:03:39.000 Bro.
00:03:40.000 I remember when I moved from the Bronx to Hudson Valley, New York.
00:03:43.000 That's the first time I ever heard dude besides like a surfer in a cartoon.
00:03:47.000 And they were like, what's up, dude?
00:03:48.000 And they were riding skateboards and shit.
00:03:50.000 And I was like, you guys say dude.
00:03:50.000 Yeah, my neighbors.
00:03:53.000 And I don't even remember what we said before that.
00:03:55.000 I guess it was just yo.
00:03:56.000 Instead of dude, we'd be like, yo.
00:03:58.000 Well, if you're coming from the Bronx, you were probably using an N phrase.
00:04:01.000 I don't think.
00:04:04.000 No, I only heard that last year.
00:04:06.000 Purpleworks.
00:04:09.000 For a sponsor.
00:04:09.000 It's my pre-workout energy drink.
00:04:12.000 I noticed I'm a real chatty Cathy at the gym.
00:04:15.000 Cause I take it at nine.
00:04:17.000 I go to the gym at nine 30.
00:04:18.000 You're supposed to take it half an hour before.
00:04:20.000 I I've also quit coffee because there's caffeine in this.
00:04:24.000 And I find if I don't work out, I don't take this, right?
00:04:27.000 My caffeine tolerance goes down.
00:04:30.000 So when I take this, it's an extra zing zingy McDoodle.
00:04:33.000 Don't have coffee.
00:04:34.000 If you've had purple works.
00:04:36.000 But this is my stuff.
00:04:37.000 No artificial dyes, sweeteners, or preservatives.
00:04:40.000 Contains high-quality creatine, carnosine, beta-alanine, caffeine, green tea extract, and vitamins.
00:04:46.000 I also am getting ripped.
00:04:48.000 Okay, not ripped.
00:04:49.000 I'll never be ripped.
00:04:50.000 But I used to have Grover shoulders, and now I have actual shoulders.
00:04:55.000 Nothing to write home about.
00:04:57.000 But definitely the most muscular I've ever been in my entire life.
00:05:01.000 Besides, you know, being a bike messenger and a tree planter as a young man.
00:05:04.000 Move over, Grover.
00:05:05.000 Shoulders are taking over.
00:05:10.000 It's the shitty show.
00:05:20.000 We have all that here.
00:05:22.000 This isn't a dropship product that they've slapped their name on.
00:05:25.000 This is a real deal imported from Italy.
00:05:27.000 So go to purpleworksnutrition.com, enter promo code GAVIN for 15% off your entire order.
00:05:35.000 Yeah, organic?
00:05:37.000 You want to go organic?
00:05:40.000 They're fans of the show.
00:05:40.000 These guys know what's up.
00:05:41.000 It's FDA approved too.
00:05:44.000 Unlike many other things.
00:05:45.000 And I can tell you firsthand, I take it every time I work out.
00:05:48.000 I haven't been going to the gym every day in the summer, by the way.
00:05:52.000 Uh-oh.
00:05:53.000 The heat in that gym is just... The only way to survive it is to bring a cooler with ice and a rag, pour water in that, and then, in between rounds, put the cold thing on your neck.
00:06:04.000 That's the only way to survive.
00:06:06.000 And that's hell.
00:06:08.000 Very unpleasant.
00:06:09.000 And it stinks.
00:06:11.000 Boxing gyms in August are the stinkiest places in the world.
00:06:15.000 I'm not selling Purple Works very well, but it is the shitty show.
00:06:18.000 Speaking of the shitty show, you know that ridiculous homosexual who gets on to talk about pronouns? 1.00
00:06:27.000 He's so excited.
00:06:29.000 I think gays got mad when we said we're fine with you. 1.00
00:06:34.000 Because they're like, what?
00:06:35.000 But I'm a freak.
00:06:36.000 I'm scary and I'm unusual.
00:06:38.000 You're just a gay. 1.00
00:06:38.000 No, you're not. 1.00
00:06:40.000 And they went, OK, guess what I am now?
00:06:43.000 What?
00:06:44.000 A new thing.
00:06:45.000 What are you?
00:06:46.000 It's new.
00:06:48.000 OK, I get it.
00:06:48.000 It's new.
00:06:49.000 What is it?
00:06:50.000 It's a woman.
00:06:51.000 No, it's not a woman. 0.88
00:06:52.000 It's kind of a woman.
00:06:53.000 What?
00:06:54.000 Yeah, there's a whole bunch of letters involved and there's a plus sign for things I didn't remember.
00:06:59.000 We have a new flag.
00:07:00.000 You have a new flag?
00:07:02.000 Your flag was the rainbow.
00:07:04.000 It said, I am everything.
00:07:05.000 Well, there's more stuff than the rainbow now.
00:07:08.000 What?
00:07:10.000 What are you talking about?
00:07:12.000 There's sort of like, go look up half wits.
00:07:15.000 The SCTV sketch.
00:07:18.000 It was a sketch Catherine O'Hara wrote.
00:07:22.000 And it's about a quiz show where everyone is a complete imbecile.
00:07:28.000 And Lawrence is awesome.
00:07:31.000 John Kennedy's great.
00:07:32.000 But go to Joe Flaherty with his big fake nose.
00:07:37.000 Yeah, him.
00:07:39.000 You are in medical research.
00:07:41.000 Would you care to tell us a little about that?
00:07:43.000 I lied.
00:07:45.000 I'm sorry?
00:07:46.000 I lied.
00:07:48.000 I thought it would sound good on TV.
00:07:50.000 Well, what exactly do you do for a living, Arthur?
00:07:54.000 Well, it's a job.
00:07:56.000 It's nothing special.
00:07:58.000 What kind of a job?
00:07:59.000 Just a job, you know, a normal job.
00:08:01.000 What do you do for a living?
00:08:04.000 I work.
00:08:05.000 Where?
00:08:05.000 Oh, around.
00:08:06.000 Alright, I don't have time for this.
00:08:09.000 See, that is, that in a nutshell, is the gay experience in America. 0.93
00:08:13.000 We're asking you what's going on, you keep moving the goalposts, and now
00:08:19.000 I guess you've achieved what you were trying to achieve, which is I'm annoying you again.
00:08:23.000 It's like if you're punk and your parents are like, oh, that's cute.
00:08:26.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:08:27.000 And then you get a facial tattoo and your parents are like, all right, now I'm mad.
00:08:32.000 Good work.
00:08:33.000 So this guy has achieved.
00:08:34.000 I'm homophobic again.
00:08:36.000 You did it.
00:08:37.000 Congratulations.
00:08:38.000 I wish I could give him a face tattoo so bad.
00:08:40.000 Xeno pronouns.
00:08:42.000 Perhaps one of the most beautiful concepts refers to any pronoun a person has that is unspeakable. 1.00
00:08:50.000 What are your pronouns?
00:08:54.000 He's not joking.
00:08:54.000 I don't think you know what effervescent means.
00:08:55.000 You mean ethereal?
00:09:17.000 Understanding where non-binary people come from can sometimes take us into very lofty, beautiful, spiritual, poetic places.
00:09:25.000 Weird.
00:09:26.000 I'm weird.
00:09:26.000 I don't know about all that.
00:09:28.000 Xeno pronouns.
00:09:30.000 Imagine his poor dad.
00:09:34.000 There's a Vietnam vet who was in the shit. 1.00
00:09:37.000 What do they call them?
00:09:37.000 The grunts?
00:09:38.000 The guys who had to carry their packs for three days?
00:09:42.000 OK, there's those guys.
00:09:43.000 Thank you for your service.
00:09:44.000 And then there's this guy's dad.
00:09:47.000 I think on Veterans Day, that should be the only exception.
00:09:51.000 It's all veterans.
00:09:52.000 And then this guy's dad is also standing with them.
00:09:54.000 And we all like, thank you for your service, dude.
00:09:57.000 You poor bastard.
00:09:59.000 That's worse than Gigi Gorgeous's dad at the wedding where she was the bride.
00:10:05.000 They always seem very supportive.
00:10:08.000 Yeah.
00:10:08.000 Yeah.
00:10:08.000 Gigi Gorgeous.
00:10:09.000 His husband was I saw pictures.
00:10:11.000 He was ecstatic at the wedding.
00:10:13.000 Maybe he's on Xanax or something.
00:10:14.000 I don't quite get it.
00:10:15.000 Natty and Getty.
00:10:18.000 Also in the news.
00:10:20.000 Kind of exciting.
00:10:21.000 Oh, yeah.
00:10:24.000 Well, his son was marrying a millionaire.
00:10:27.000 I mean, if the gay thing is inevitable, then at least you're about to be rich. 1.00
00:10:34.000 We're here at Gigi and Nat's wedding.
00:10:36.000 It's a real who's who of what's that?
00:10:41.000 The cane?
00:10:42.000 It's a mentally ill convention. 0.80
00:10:44.000 Oh, that's the groom!
00:10:46.000 That's Nat Getty.
00:10:46.000 That's their IT guy.
00:10:52.000 Is that?
00:10:52.000 That's not Justin Bieber.
00:10:53.000 That's Jared Leto Bieber.
00:10:54.000 It's a combo.
00:10:54.000 He's a trans celebrity.
00:10:56.000 Oh my god.
00:10:56.000 You can tell these weddings are fake by the way they ham it up.
00:10:59.000 The black thing going on. 1.00
00:11:01.000 Look at that.
00:11:18.000 That's not how, you've been to weddings, that's not how weddings are.
00:11:20.000 Yeah, no.
00:11:22.000 The bride is like... And the dad's there, he might shed a tear later.
00:11:27.000 And then the groom is just like... Wow, it was great.
00:11:31.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:11:32.000 They don't do these theatrics. 0.89
00:11:34.000 It's like Solemn almost sometimes.
00:11:35.000 And I did see one where the guy was like... Crying, I was like, you're gay. 1.00
00:11:42.000 You're not straight.
00:11:44.000 Speaking of gay, I think these two are gay. 0.98
00:11:49.000 The Satanist to the Stars, Marina Abramovic and Early.
00:11:55.000 No, it's 1-5, sorry.
00:12:01.000 Check this out.
00:12:03.000 What they did was they were together as a couple.
00:12:05.000 One would start at the end of the Great Wall of China, and the other started at the other end.
00:12:11.000 And they decided to break up.
00:12:12.000 So they met in the middle, and then they kissed for the last time.
00:12:17.000 She's the Satanist that has all the rituals that politicians are into. 1.00
00:12:21.000 Yeah, the spirit cooking and all that.
00:12:24.000 So you break up and you make a big to-do of it and you go around the Great Wall of China and then meet on the other side.
00:12:40.000 You're gay. 1.00
00:12:42.000 They're both gay. 0.99
00:13:02.000 He's wearing the worst shoes for a grown man.
00:13:04.000 Look into each other's eyes.
00:13:04.000 Black chucks.
00:13:05.000 I guess that's what you call an ugly cry?
00:13:07.000 I don't know if she's got the option.
00:13:09.000 I actually kind of like this.
00:13:10.000 Yeah, well you're retarded. 1.00
00:13:31.000 I think that's I mean like it's so pretentious.
00:13:34.000 It's so gay. 1.00
00:13:35.000 I hate her.
00:13:36.000 I won't say hate.
00:13:37.000 I dislike her very strongly.
00:13:38.000 I think she's cringe.
00:13:39.000 I think she's satanic. 1.00
00:13:40.000 I don't think she has kids either.
00:13:41.000 So she's a lesbian and he's a homo and they had a relationship for like nine or ten years. 0.99
00:13:47.000 They're just doing a parody of relationships.
00:13:51.000 She makes everything so awkward and pretentious and shitty.
00:13:54.000 But yeah, no, the concept of not seeing somebody for that long and then you see them is that's pretty moving.
00:13:59.000 I like that.
00:14:00.000 But it's with trash people that are garbage.
00:14:02.000 Yeah, well, it's just a hustle.
00:14:03.000 She's just a great snake oil salesman to the rich. 1.00
00:14:06.000 I'll tell you what is kind of romantic, though, and I am very excited about back to one three.
00:14:11.000 So, you know, Christian Montenegro was was had that girlfriend, Natalia.
00:14:18.000 They are married now and he has three kids.
00:14:22.000 So if you scroll down, there's the wedding.
00:14:24.000 They got the cake on each other.
00:14:26.000 And that's the honeymoon.
00:14:32.000 What a fun wedding.
00:14:34.000 I wish I could have been at that one.
00:14:35.000 That's a little more... That's similar in sincerity to the Gigi Gorgeous wedding.
00:14:44.000 But we have footage of them.
00:14:46.000 If you go down, you can see he's Colombian.
00:14:49.000 There's his beautiful wife.
00:14:51.000 She's very petite.
00:14:52.000 Nice smile.
00:14:53.000 She's got good teeth. 0.97
00:14:54.000 Keep going.
00:14:57.000 So there they are at home with their kid Sammy.
00:15:01.000 That's nice.
00:15:03.000 He's got her hair and most of her features, really.
00:15:06.000 Yeah, he really strongly resembles the mom.
00:15:10.000 You have mom's eyelids.
00:15:13.000 Oh, there, there.
00:15:14.000 He gets a little too... That's a little TMI.
00:15:16.000 Yeah.
00:15:16.000 There, Christian.
00:15:17.000 I guess he was horny and she was reading?
00:15:19.000 Yeah.
00:15:20.000 I think she always wears glasses.
00:15:22.000 Oh.
00:15:23.000 And she's not... Oh, this is the actual birth.
00:15:27.000 Oh, I guess they had a relative come in and... Yeah, the doctor.
00:15:33.000 Healthy baby born with pink underpants on.
00:15:36.000 That's a good sign.
00:15:39.000 It shows he's going to be modest.
00:15:40.000 Where did they meet?
00:15:41.000 It's a small world?
00:15:43.000 We met at Disney.
00:15:44.000 She's pretty. 0.99
00:15:45.000 Oh, look, he got choked up.
00:15:47.000 If you go to that second one, 1-4, you can see Sammy himself, though.
00:15:55.000 That's their child.
00:15:57.000 Oh, this is video from the delivery room.
00:16:03.000 So that's cute.
00:16:04.000 Oh, here's their wedding song.
00:16:08.000 That's crazy.
00:16:09.000 That was a weird laugh I just did.
00:16:29.000 Let's uh, so you know I love the competence crisis and how dumb everyone has become.
00:16:34.000 There's a lot of reasons behind it.
00:16:37.000 One of the main reasons is now our newest, biggest selling shirt.
00:16:42.000 Diversity, inclusion and equity.
00:16:46.000 That's for sale at the shop at censored.tv.
00:16:49.000 Yeah, we just submitted photos of us modeling them and we look nice.
00:16:53.000 I don't know if it's been put up yet, but here we go.
00:16:57.000 There it is.
00:16:59.000 It's quality.
00:17:00.000 I know you see the price and you say, what the?
00:17:02.000 Dude, this will last forever.
00:17:03.000 And the more you wear it, the better it'll be.
00:17:05.000 But like, it's like a nice thick, but breathable.
00:17:08.000 It's nice in the summer too.
00:17:09.000 I was wearing it yesterday and the print is great.
00:17:12.000 And it looks like a, I don't know, like you're a volunteer for some community service thing.
00:17:16.000 Yeah, I love those kind of jokes where people like it at first, and then they go, I think it's D-E-I. 0.95
00:17:24.000 You go, no it's not.
00:17:25.000 Nope, not mine.
00:17:27.000 So one thing I always emphasize with the competence crisis is it's not just, you could change the background I guess, it's not just diversity.
00:17:34.000 It's because the rut people get into is they go, oh you have to hire a black woman. 1.00
00:17:38.000 And it's not just that, it's also greed.
00:17:41.000 It's also lazy zoomers. 1.00
00:17:44.000 It's also screen addiction.
00:17:46.000 The death of education.
00:17:47.000 The lack of discipline.
00:17:50.000 Mobility.
00:17:50.000 Lack of grit.
00:17:51.000 It's a million.
00:17:52.000 It's the perfect storm.
00:17:53.000 The perfect shit storm.
00:17:55.000 But anyway, here's an example where it's just diversity.
00:17:59.000 And we just had this guy fired.
00:18:02.000 A very storied career this man had.
00:18:05.000 And he made his bones on the supposition that
00:18:13.000 White people saw lynching happen, and yes, a disproportionate number of blacks were lynched.
00:18:19.000 They were also disproportionately represented in the crime stats, and plenty of whites were lynched.
00:18:24.000 Back in the day, all you needed was 12 people to agree that this guy sucks, and he got hanged.
00:18:31.000 But I guess he's under the impression only black people were hanged.
00:18:34.000 And then it's not hung asshole.
00:18:37.000 And then he went further and said, yeah, they they're so used to seeing that that they want stricter sentences for blacks and Hispanics.
00:18:47.000 And I think someone actually I think it was four years earlier, a student of his went, that's not true.
00:18:54.000 And I looked at your data and it's made up.
00:18:57.000 So go to the movie at the top movie.
00:19:00.000 It's a movie!
00:19:05.000 He's been fired on extreme negligence that he fudged data on racism studies.
00:19:10.000 This seems to be a pattern here.
00:19:11.000 Remember we saw that woman last week who was fired? 1.00
00:19:13.000 He had six of his studies retracted.
00:19:16.000 But the studies are amazing.
00:19:21.000 Yeah, scrutiny, fabricated data, gotcha, gotcha.
00:19:29.000 That's how long it took.
00:19:36.000 Okay.
00:19:37.000 Oh, they retroactively lynched him.
00:19:40.000 He falsifies data about lynching and they go, he goes, this is actually a lynching.
00:19:46.000 Yeah, that's the pattern.
00:19:47.000 You lying about lynching.
00:19:49.000 But blow up that thing. 0.99
00:19:51.000 Oh, yeah.
00:19:51.000 Florida State University criminology professor Eric Stewart was a guru of the claim that systemic racism infests America's policy.
00:19:58.000 I mean, police and
00:19:59.000 American society fired after 20 years of his data including figures used in an explosive study which claimed the legacy of lynchings made whites perceive blacks as criminals
00:20:14.000 It's such a weird hypothesis.
00:20:16.000 Hypothesis.
00:20:16.000 Like we're sitting there going, I know them Negroes.
00:20:19.000 I saw them hanging.
00:20:20.000 They all get hanged.
00:20:23.000 People don't like lynching.
00:20:25.000 So they don't want to talk about it.
00:20:26.000 It's not in the forefront of their mind.
00:20:28.000 It's like the Holocaust. 0.92
00:20:29.000 It's something where you just go, I don't want to talk about it.
00:20:32.000 9-11.
00:20:33.000 It doesn't constantly influence your behavior.
00:20:41.000 Yeah, and that the problem was worse among conservatives.
00:20:43.000 Oh, yeah, he also he talked about conservatives in low-income neighborhoods.
00:20:48.000 Basically, white rednecks are all racist because they're still stuck in the South and the lynching era. 0.96
00:20:54.000 I mean, I just out of sheer instinct would go, yeah, that sounds like horseshit.
00:21:00.000 Not true.
00:21:03.000 And it reminds me of Stanford.
00:21:04.000 Remember that Diversity Dean 1-7?
00:21:07.000 She had that Trump judge on and she was screaming at him and the whole school was yelling at him. 0.82
00:21:15.000 Stanford is such a joke.
00:21:16.000 All academia is toast now, by the way.
00:21:19.000 It's all over.
00:21:20.000 You go to school, you go $250,000 in debt to become retarded. 0.99
00:21:26.000 You're paying to get dumber.
00:21:28.000 And 100% of students outside of STEM come out of school dumber than when they went in.
00:21:32.000 So she was yelling at him and stuff, and they were all screaming, and there was protests, because he's racist, right?
00:21:37.000 He's a Trump-appointed judge.
00:21:38.000 He must be racist.
00:21:39.000 That's the way it works with them.
00:21:41.000 And then she stepped down, she resigned.
00:21:44.000 But people assume it's because she was such a bitch. 1.00
00:21:46.000 No, she resigned for the crime of allowing him to speak at her school.
00:21:52.000 Yeah.
00:21:54.000 In the video she was actually trying to say, listen, we need to hear him talk because he's disgusting.
00:21:59.000 Yeah, that was her crime.
00:22:00.000 Right, right, right.
00:22:01.000 Like just that little concession of trying to be fair even a little bit.
00:22:05.000 Yeah.
00:22:05.000 She has to now step down.
00:22:06.000 You're done.
00:22:07.000 1-8.
00:22:11.000 But there's a good... So the Stanford president, he was a French-Canadian dude.
00:22:17.000 Completely woke, loser, moron.
00:22:20.000 He resigned yesterday after being exposed as a research fraud.
00:22:23.000 There's a diversity dean I just mentioned.
00:22:27.000 The word is out on their anti-fund crusade in the insane woke bureaucracy at Stanford, thanks to G. Riley's work.
00:22:32.000 I think that's the guy at the beacon, free beacon.
00:22:36.000 They suppressed scientific freedom during the pandemic by allowing faculty persecutions against my friends.
00:22:43.000 The word is out how the Stanford Internet Observatory was egging the U.S.
00:22:47.000 government to censor Americans based on politics, political viewpoint, in flagrant violation of our Constitution.
00:22:52.000 Yeah.
00:22:56.000 So that's a Stanford alumni pissed off.
00:22:58.000 And the last incompetence before we start the show, this is, I don't know why I love this so much.
00:23:04.000 The mayor of Chicago is worse than Lori Lightfoot. 1.00
00:23:09.000 First of all, look at his fucking hair.
00:23:12.000 And the way his hair works with his nose, works with his goatee, he looks like a Rorschach drawing.
00:23:19.000 I see an incompetent mayor.
00:23:22.000 What do you see?
00:23:23.000 So this guy is another academic bureaucrat, you know, lied his way through academia, probably falsifying studies.
00:23:31.000 He got some dumb degree like sociology and education or one of these fake degrees and then he started teaching and he bureaucrated his way up.
00:23:40.000 He is so stupid that when you talk about mob
00:23:45.000 And mob action and mobs of kids, he thinks of Al Capone.
00:23:50.000 So if you said a swarm of teenagers raided this 7-Eleven, he'd be like, well, we don't need to talk about kids like they're wasps.
00:23:59.000 Actually, that's better because swarm is an analogy, but there's different types of mobs.
00:24:05.000 There's the mafia, and then there's a mob of people, my friend.
00:24:14.000 Look how dumb he is.
00:24:35.000 First of all, he is offended that you're criticizing a mob of teenagers who are destroying everything in their path.
00:24:49.000 Like, besides the mob typo, why are you so worried about them being criticized?
00:24:54.000 They're bad.
00:24:55.000 They're doing bad things?
00:24:57.000 No?
00:24:58.000 This is like that mayor in Baltimore who wanted to give the rioters room to riot.
00:25:04.000 Remember that?
00:25:05.000 Space to get their ya-ya's out. 1.00
00:25:11.000 It's important that we speak of these dynamics in an appropriate way.
00:25:15.000 This is not to obfuscate what is actually taking place.
00:25:17.000 Ooh, obfuscate.
00:25:19.000 We have to be very careful when we use language to describe certain behavior.
00:25:23.000 Okay.
00:25:24.000 There's history in this city.
00:25:25.000 Stop.
00:25:26.000 But you're not aware.
00:25:28.000 So there's history in the city.
00:25:29.000 He's talking about the mafia in Chicago and prohibition and what?
00:25:37.000 What a moron.
00:25:38.000 It's not to obfuscate what is actually taking place.
00:25:42.000 We have to be very careful when we use language to describe certain behavior.
00:25:47.000 There's history in this city.
00:25:50.000 I mean, to refer to children as like baby Al Capone's is not appropriate.
00:25:55.000 So just let me finish, please, okay?
00:25:59.000 What I'm saying is... They call a mob of teenagers, mob action, which is dictionary definition, and he says, no, no, they're children, and I'm not going to let you call them baby Al Capone's.
00:26:11.000 Al Capone had goals.
00:26:15.000 Yeah, Al Capone was way better than these people.
00:26:19.000 He had a code.
00:26:20.000 He had parameters.
00:26:22.000 And syphilis.
00:26:22.000 And a deaf son.
00:26:23.000 It's just a large gathering, by the way, that happens to involve some handbags.
00:26:46.000 Wow.
00:26:48.000 Before we start the show, don't worry, I'm not going to go behind the paywall just yet.
00:26:52.000 Johnny Apple CBD.
00:26:53.000 Today's episode of Get Off My Lawn is brought to you by Johnny Apple CBD, a little sponsor since day one.
00:26:59.000 I'll have a gummy before bed occasionally.
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00:27:47.000 Head over to johnnyapple.com or j-a-c-b-d dot com or let's triple verify that johnnyapple.com is correct.
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00:28:05.000 Support Johnny Apple.
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00:28:07.000 Now let's get back to the show.
00:28:09.000 We've got some racism here.
00:28:11.000 We've got some My Pet Biden.
00:28:13.000 But we haven't checked in on broads in a while. 0.95
00:28:16.000 Let's do some feminism, shall we? 1.00
00:28:18.000 Who here identifies as a feminist? 1.00
00:28:20.000 We are the storm.
00:28:22.000 The very form of change that the world has been waiting for.
00:28:29.000 He said I was too pretty to fight.
00:28:34.000 That's toxic masculinity. 1.00
00:28:36.000 You don't realize how your behavior is harmful.
00:28:43.000 I feel like if I heard that Amanda Gorman thing, if like she was doing some poetry thing and I heard it and she was like, wee out of the storm, I'd be like, ooh, she's doing the thing.
00:28:51.000 The one that the change in the form, like I'm a fan of it now because I've heard it so much.
00:28:55.000 It's a drop in your mind.
00:28:57.000 Also the gay bumper that we have, there's a rap song. 0.87
00:29:00.000 I was watching like the Nate Diaz, Jake Paul lead up to the fight and they used that, some rap song.
00:29:05.000 I'm like, why do I like this?
00:29:06.000 Like I don't like rap.
00:29:07.000 And I realized it's the gang gang gang.
00:29:10.000 I'll be reppin' gay, gay. 0.99
00:29:11.000 It's the song from the gay thing. 0.98
00:29:13.000 That's why I like it.
00:29:13.000 Gay, gay.
00:29:14.000 Gay, gay, gay, gay. 0.93
00:29:15.000 It's Stockholm Syndrome.
00:29:18.000 When I work out and I take my Purple Works, they, I've told you this before, they blare all this music like...
00:29:27.000 And there's posters all over the world, all over the world, all over the room that say things like, I'm driven by the need not to be regular or something like that.
00:29:38.000 And like, build and burn and like, I'm unstoppable.
00:29:43.000 And I'm like, meanwhile I'm dry heaving because I'm hungover.
00:29:45.000 And I'm not unstoppable.
00:29:47.000 And this is, and then there's that song, this is how legends are made!
00:29:52.000 And I'm like, ow!
00:29:55.000 And this is similar.
00:29:56.000 This unstoppable broad who just, you cannot hold her down. 1.00
00:30:00.000 Can you even imagine trying to physically do this?
00:30:09.000 Wow!
00:30:12.000 The poles aren't shaking.
00:30:13.000 I mean, she hasn't fallen.
00:30:16.000 She's unstoppable!
00:30:20.000 Look at that.
00:30:21.000 That must be at least six inches of water.
00:30:23.000 Maybe more.
00:30:24.000 Maybe more.
00:30:24.000 Almost hitting the knee.
00:30:25.000 She's almost made it.
00:30:30.000 Wow.
00:30:32.000 What a beast.
00:30:34.000 I couldn't imagine getting a soaker.
00:30:36.000 That'd be funny if some eight-year-olds just walked by her catching crawfish.
00:30:42.000 Excuse me, ma'am.
00:30:51.000 I told you about that other song they play that says, big energy, big, big energy.
00:30:55.000 Yeah.
00:30:56.000 It's like you wrote a song called Big Dick Energy and just took the dick out.
00:31:00.000 It's weird how like Imagine Dragons is now inspiring music.
00:31:04.000 Yeah.
00:31:04.000 Who knew that taking it would be gay to take the dick out?
00:31:08.000 Yeah.
00:31:10.000 Uh, here's an example of women not belonging in combat sports. 1.00
00:31:14.000 I don't think they understand the tradition.
00:31:17.000 And it's, the only ones who are good are lesbians. 1.00
00:31:19.000 In other words, the ones who have more testosterone.
00:31:24.000 Oh yeah, so we say... NSFW?
00:31:27.000 Eh, no.
00:31:27.000 Yes.
00:31:28.000 Okay.
00:31:32.000 You did it!
00:31:33.000 You get boxing!
00:31:41.000 I mean, I like it.
00:31:42.000 They're nice tits. 1.00
00:31:44.000 But that's like getting a grand slam in the M.O.B.
00:31:47.000 and just pulling your dick out and waving to the crowd. 0.97
00:31:49.000 Yeah.
00:31:51.000 There's no place for that.
00:31:52.000 Here's another example of women in combat sports not getting it, not belonging there. 1.00
00:31:58.000 Here's another legend being made.
00:32:04.000 I've never seen this in a boxing or UFC or any kind of combat sport.
00:32:09.000 I've never seen this before.
00:32:10.000 You're not supposed to turn your back to your opponent, right?
00:32:17.000 She ran away! 1.00
00:32:20.000 You know you're locked in here.
00:32:21.000 Ow, this hurts.
00:32:23.000 Yeah, it's called a cage match for a reason.
00:32:27.000 Holy cow. 0.89
00:32:28.000 I gotta get out of here.
00:32:30.000 Where's the exit?
00:32:32.000 Wait, is that period blood?
00:32:35.000 Not even trying to be cute.
00:32:36.000 Let's see right after this for a flash.
00:32:39.000 Oh, I liked it.
00:32:41.000 What's that?
00:32:42.000 Uh, that's a... Some sort of blood.
00:32:46.000 Looks like some sort of... Maybe it's a tattoo.
00:32:48.000 Ah.
00:32:52.000 And here are the amateurs trying it.
00:32:54.000 Some girls fighting.
00:32:56.000 Blond chick thinks she's got what it takes, but she clearly doesn't know what a punch feels like. 1.00
00:33:01.000 You talk about guys who've never been punched in the face, and then they sort of go, oh, okay, I understand what ramifications are.
00:33:07.000 But with women, it's even crazier. 1.00
00:33:12.000 Hello, my name is Jennifer Wright, two-time champion for Rough and Rowdy.
00:33:15.000 I've always liked the manly, tough stuff.
00:33:19.000 A man trapped in a woman's body.
00:33:21.000 With no teeth.
00:33:22.000 I'm 18 years old.
00:33:23.000 I've been a wrestler for four years now.
00:33:25.000 Maybe you should try to consider the ring girl contest, because that's the only way you're going to take home some money. 1.00
00:33:30.000 If I can wrestle men, I can fight a girl. 1.00
00:33:33.000 It's all about experience, folks.
00:33:38.000 And that redneck has been fighting for porridge in the back of the trailer park since she was two. 1.00
00:33:48.000 I don't think that pretty one's ever boxed.
00:33:51.000 Ever.
00:33:51.000 Although the good news is the punches don't really hurt.
00:33:54.000 Look, she's putting her hand on the back of her head. 1.00
00:33:57.000 I think Sam Hyde did that.
00:34:14.000 He's like, if you can get away with it, do it.
00:34:18.000 Boom, boom, boom, boom.
00:34:27.000 Such a redneck fight. 0.99
00:34:29.000 Come on, bitch! 1.00
00:34:30.000 He's talking all sorts of shit.
00:34:31.000 I wish they miked her up, dude. 1.00
00:34:33.000 And finally, we have this.
00:34:35.000 Oh, there's more.
00:34:36.000 I've noticed too with fighting, oh, there's more?
00:34:39.000 Yeah.
00:34:39.000 Oh, I want to see more.
00:34:40.000 That's slow-mo.
00:34:47.000 This is rough-and-rowdy with Barstool, Dave Portnoy.
00:34:50.000 Oh boy!
00:34:51.000 Oof, that was a wallop.
00:34:53.000 That was like a hook uppercut.
00:34:57.000 She almost fell, like she almost punched her on her ass.
00:34:59.000 Not a knockout, but just punched her onto her ass. 0.99
00:35:02.000 I like her hairdo.
00:35:06.000 We got blood already.
00:35:11.000 She's swingin' a lot of guys in the blue.
00:35:13.000 Oh, I guess I gotta do a Dave Portnoy now.
00:35:16.000 Yeah, you could do Dave Portnoy.
00:35:18.000 That's attainable.
00:35:19.000 I gotta try it more.
00:35:21.000 It's like a little gay, but not too much.
00:35:24.000 Little Brooklyn, little Jew. 1.00
00:35:25.000 Yeah, little Brooklyn, little Jew. 1.00
00:35:27.000 We're gonna try some pizza.
00:35:28.000 That's garbage, but I'll try it.
00:35:31.000 Is that the end of that?
00:35:32.000 It is.
00:35:32.000 Okay, so they're not good at... We love women.
00:35:36.000 You're magical.
00:35:37.000 You can make babies. 0.55
00:35:38.000 We're nothing without you.
00:35:39.000 You made us.
00:35:40.000 So even comparing me to you is stupid.
00:35:44.000 You're magic.
00:35:44.000 You're up here.
00:35:45.000 You're a god.
00:35:46.000 That's like saying Jesus and I are going to have a race.
00:35:50.000 But what we're criticizing here is not women. 1.00
00:35:53.000 We're criticizing women trying to be something they're not. 1.00
00:35:56.000 That's when it becomes hysterical.
00:35:58.000 And I would argue that's actually a feminist thing to do, to mock women who don't embrace being a woman. 1.00
00:36:06.000 Fighting each other is not you, okay?
00:36:08.000 And you're not even good at arguing.
00:36:10.000 And I've noticed, to argue
00:36:13.000 That's probably why Ann Coulter watches so much MSNBC.
00:36:15.000 You have to know what they're going to say so you can go, yes, that study was refuted in 1975.
00:36:18.000 It was a lie.
00:36:20.000 The study was falsified.
00:36:21.000 That professor was fired for inventing data.
00:36:35.000 But I find broads, they're not familiar with the arguments that totally decimate their side of things.
00:36:42.000 For example, if women get paid less than men, let's just hire all women. 0.99
00:36:47.000 We do that with illegals. 1.00
00:36:49.000 They get paid less than normal people, so companies hire them whenever they can.
00:36:54.000 Even though it's illegal and they can lose their license.
00:36:57.000 So why don't we do it with women? 1.00
00:36:59.000 Companies can pay women less, but why don't they hire all women? 1.00
00:37:04.000 Well, that's a whole other story.
00:37:06.000 Really?
00:37:06.000 I understand your argument.
00:37:09.000 And I understand that you're angry.
00:37:11.000 I'm not angry.
00:37:12.000 I can hear it in your voice.
00:37:13.000 Listen to your voice.
00:37:14.000 I'm hearing my voice and I sound pretty calm.
00:37:16.000 You have now shifted the quality of your voice.
00:37:18.000 And I thank you for that.
00:37:21.000 And you've just given me a condescending look.
00:37:23.000 And that's another reason why we need feminism. 1.00
00:37:26.000 And now I'm done.
00:37:26.000 And thank you so much.
00:37:32.000 That's a common retort.
00:37:33.000 Remember I told you I got in an argument with a woman who made me do her podcast, her husband's podcast, when we were at Lake George, which I never heard anything about.
00:37:42.000 I wonder if it ever aired.
00:37:44.000 And I go, a woman would be much happier out of the workforce. 1.00
00:37:46.000 And she goes, I'm a lawyer.
00:37:47.000 And I go, yeah, but you'd be better at home, I think, with your son, who you just bought an apple juice at a bar.
00:37:52.000 It's 11 p.m.
00:37:53.000 He appears to be about 10.
00:37:54.000 He should probably be in bed.
00:37:56.000 And she goes, I'm sorry if I intimidate you.
00:37:59.000 What?
00:38:00.000 Intimidate?
00:38:03.000 What are you going to do, beat me up?
00:38:04.000 Out-lawyer me?
00:38:06.000 I don't understand the intimidation, but that's just the out thing.
00:38:09.000 It's sort of like in high school where they go, I actually, I'm not even, I don't think she's a loser, I actually feel sorry for her.
00:38:15.000 There's certain degrees of how mean girls in high school would be bitches. 1.00
00:38:20.000 And it would start off like, she's fat, she's ugly. 1.00
00:38:23.000 And then they would get more advanced.
00:38:25.000 And then they go, I actually feel really bad for her.
00:38:28.000 I think she's sweet, it's really sad.
00:38:31.000 That's more damning.
00:38:34.000 Alright, let's do my pet bide.
00:38:37.000 Oh, okay.
00:38:39.000 You guys in front of the paywall are getting some stuff today, let me tell you.
00:38:42.000 Yeah, getting a lot of free shit.
00:38:45.000 Biden.
00:38:46.000 Biden.
00:38:46.000 President.
00:38:47.000 Wait, what?
00:38:47.000 Sleepy.
00:38:47.000 Biden.
00:38:48.000 That doesn't rhyme.
00:39:04.000 In today's New York Post, we hear about a guy who faked protests in front of a bar because they didn't let him drink when he was a teenager.
00:39:12.000 There's our fired prof. But there's just a great two-page spread.
00:39:19.000 Refuting what, I can't remember if it was you or someone else brought up, they said, Joe was just gonna say, no, no, Hunter said that I could back him up and I could guarantee deals and he could use my influence.
00:39:32.000 I didn't know he was doing that.
00:39:34.000 So, he's in trouble, yes, for lying.
00:39:37.000 But I never got involved in business deals.
00:39:39.000 Yeah, you did.
00:39:40.000 You were always there.
00:39:42.000 It was not, you were not a ghost that Hunter promised we could meet one day if you do this deal.
00:39:48.000 You were there at the deals.
00:39:50.000 We have you here with various politicians and businessmen, and Hunter's always there.
00:39:58.000 You were the big guy, so that lie's not gonna work.
00:40:01.000 Anyway, Gropes, friend of the show, they did a montage.
00:40:06.000 They said they went through hundreds of hours of Hunter's laptop and put together just him being a vain asshole.
00:40:11.000 And they took out all the, like, stuff you can't show on YouTube.
00:40:15.000 So we'll see if that's still up.
00:40:17.000 Is it still up?
00:40:17.000 It's not.
00:40:18.000 It's not?
00:40:19.000 No.
00:40:20.000 What about Gropes?
00:40:21.000 Is he up?
00:40:23.000 As a user?
00:40:26.000 I think he had some sex in it.
00:40:28.000 But, uh, it was, like, cropped such that you could only tell that there was fucking going on.
00:40:34.000 Damn it.
00:40:35.000 I'm looking on this Instagram.
00:40:36.000 I think Joe would call this revenge porn.
00:40:39.000 That's okay.
00:40:40.000 We got plenty of Joe.
00:40:42.000 Dang it.
00:40:43.000 I wanted to see that.
00:40:45.000 Um, this is kind of a funny AI story that someone put together of Joe talking about Coke.
00:40:51.000 You know what's messed up though?
00:40:52.000 When you search for even Hunter Biden gropes, just Biden groping kids and women comes up, so it's really hard to... Well, go to 3-0, speaking of him groping.
00:41:02.000 I have a new theory.
00:41:04.000 I think old Joe Biden, like pre-Obama, I think if he saw this Joe Biden, he would be disgusted.
00:41:11.000 What the fuck is that, man?
00:41:12.000 Come on.
00:41:18.000 That's too much.
00:41:19.000 What?
00:41:20.000 That's way too much.
00:41:21.000 Why?
00:41:21.000 Look, she's hating it.
00:41:22.000 Ew.
00:41:25.000 Why would that pop into your head?
00:41:27.000 I hate when the parents laugh.
00:41:29.000 That dad is just like, I'm going to hell.
00:41:32.000 I just betrayed my daughter.
00:41:48.000 Like I almost understand the mom laughing because she's vulnerable and this is the leader of the free world, but the dad should be showing some instincts.
00:41:57.000 You shouldn't have the president's spit and breath on your shirt.
00:42:02.000 No matter what age.
00:42:03.000 Like, at the most, most, most, like, my own baby.
00:42:06.000 I might be like, mmm, what do we do?
00:42:09.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:42:10.000 Like, you could- Like a little Eskimo kiss?
00:42:11.000 You're allowed to do that for, like, two little munchies. 1.00
00:42:13.000 I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I
00:42:28.000 And licked her finger? 0.97
00:42:29.000 He's like a weird toad.
00:42:32.000 Imagine he's a toad.
00:42:34.000 He thinks he's a toad.
00:42:38.000 Go to 2-8.
00:42:39.000 He can't say the word recession.
00:42:42.000 It's very, it's a very easy word.
00:42:45.000 How many times you read that recession's coming?
00:42:49.000 People in Wall Street today said, no, they'll see a recession coming now.
00:42:54.000 I gotta see that again.
00:42:55.000 First he said, we session, and then he said, recession.
00:43:00.000 Maybe if I cut off half of it, it'll be good.
00:43:03.000 How many times you read that recession's coming?
00:43:06.000 Even Wall Street today said, no, they'll see recession coming now.
00:43:10.000 Recession coming now.
00:43:12.000 Recession coming now.
00:43:14.000 He talks like a drunk.
00:43:15.000 Recession coming now.
00:43:17.000 Here's a good montage, 2-9, of him being the most useless world leader in history.
00:43:25.000 I mean, I've heard there was some time in Rome where they had a horse who was head of the military as a gag.
00:43:30.000 And I think, was there a little Lord Fauntleroy?
00:43:33.000 Did he have any power?
00:43:34.000 Was he 12?
00:43:35.000 But with those two ridiculous exceptions, Joe Biden is the most incompetent politician in world history, folks.
00:43:44.000 We're going back to cave days.
00:43:46.000 He's worse than Org, who was the first caveman leader of the cave world.
00:43:54.000 Quick question about Israel because the President met with the President of Israel yesterday in the Oval Office.
00:44:00.000 This moment got him a bit of attention.
00:44:02.000 He fell asleep.
00:44:02.000 Have we shown this before?
00:44:04.000 So far not ringing a bell.
00:44:05.000 And I just want to play it for you.
00:44:06.000 And we brought Israelis and Palestinians together at a political level.
00:44:16.000 And as I affirmed to Prime Minister Netanyahu yesterday,
00:44:24.000 America's commitment to Israel is firm.
00:44:28.000 John, this got a lot of attention.
00:44:30.000 It got picked up in a lot of places.
00:44:31.000 Why is it so hard to understand what the president is trying to say there?
00:44:35.000 I think he was very, very clear, Martha.
00:44:37.000 What?
00:44:37.000 You didn't think there was any problem to communicate there?
00:44:41.000 But this is a montage that includes other ones I don't think we have shown.
00:44:45.000 And as I
00:44:51.000 The President was very clear in that clip.
00:44:54.000 Like Vera Wang, and Joan, Shing Gang, Shing Gang, Shinga, Ko... Koala.
00:45:05.000 Yeah, say Koala. 1.00
00:45:05.000 Koala. 1.00
00:45:07.000 Why is it so hard to... You think the people in his earpiece were just like, fucking just say Koala.
00:45:11.000 Just Koala.
00:45:13.000 If you're working with Mr. Biden right now, can you just spell everything out phonetically from now on?
00:45:19.000 Yeah.
00:45:31.000 Why is it so hard to understand what the president is trying to say there?
00:45:35.000 I think he was very, very clear, Martha.
00:45:36.000 And here comes the train that he tried to make sure didn't continue to run.
00:45:43.000 That's the commuter.
00:45:45.000 Remember when George W. Bush was embarrassing because he'd get a few colloquialisms wrong?
00:45:49.000 Yeah.
00:45:50.000 That's nothing.
00:45:50.000 Nope.
00:45:54.000 Folks, look!
00:46:01.000 What are you talking about?
00:46:06.000 I'm talking about a great white chief.
00:46:09.000 Oh, that's Dana.
00:46:10.000 That's Dana Carvey?
00:46:11.000 Damn.
00:46:11.000 No, it's Jamie Kennedy.
00:46:15.000 I think it's Jamie Kennedy.
00:46:17.000 No, it's Dana Carvey.
00:46:18.000 Man, look at the light in his eyes.
00:46:19.000 That's a young Dana Carvey.
00:46:22.000 Yeah, you're right.
00:46:23.000 Okay, keep going.
00:46:26.000 That's it.
00:46:27.000 Oh, that's it?
00:46:28.000 He needs cue cards.
00:46:32.000 Oh, we skipped this.
00:46:33.000 We skipped over this, right?
00:46:35.000 Yeah, no, I'm getting to that.
00:46:36.000 But go to 2-7.
00:46:38.000 He sits there with just having a meeting, dude.
00:46:41.000 It's general.
00:46:42.000 You don't have to get specific.
00:46:44.000 And he's got fucking cue cards.
00:46:45.000 This is the same one.
00:46:48.000 But look at his hands.
00:46:52.000 Well, Mr. President, welcome back.
00:46:54.000 Welcome back to Washington.
00:46:55.000 Welcome back to the White House.
00:46:56.000 Mr. President, welcome back.
00:46:58.000 You know, I was talking to Netanyahu.
00:47:02.000 That's not a real name, is it?
00:47:06.000 Why is the Martin Luther King statue like all smooth and pristine and the JFK one is like... It looks like Jeff Goldblum turning into the fly.
00:47:15.000 Yeah, doesn't that look like a shithole too?
00:47:18.000 Like if that was your Airbnb you'd go, oh fuck.
00:47:20.000 Kind of looks like an Italian Long Island home.
00:47:23.000 It looks like a 90 year old woman's home. 0.99
00:47:26.000 And it has a weird smell.
00:47:28.000 Oh, yeah.
00:47:29.000 He goes, this this place is a dump.
00:47:29.000 I heard Trump say that.
00:47:33.000 I don't think I've ever been inside.
00:47:35.000 No, I haven't been inside.
00:47:35.000 But I heard like when you feel the walls, everything feels like you could just go.
00:47:41.000 All right, let's lighten the load here with a story about Hunter bringing some magic powder.
00:47:48.000 Into the White House, and then we're going to go behind the paywall and get caught up on some racism.
00:47:56.000 Let me tell you about the smartest person in my life.
00:47:59.000 As you probably guessed, I'm talking about my son, Hunter, the magician.
00:48:05.000 Sometimes he wanders into the Oval Office late at night and waves his magic wand around in the air a few times.
00:48:11.000 Then he does a little spin and abracadabra, all of this wonderful magic powder appears on my desk.
00:48:17.000 I then said out loud, holy smokes, all of that powder belongs up my nose, doesn't it?
00:48:23.000 Hunter then looked at me with a twinkle in his eye and smiled.
00:48:26.000 This is so stupid.
00:48:26.000 Hey!
00:48:26.000 You don't have to make up shit.
00:48:28.000 Hunter Biden does do crack.
00:48:30.000 He did leave a bag of coke at the White House.
00:48:31.000 I don't believe that Joe Biden does cocaine.
00:48:33.000 I don't think his heart could handle it.
00:48:54.000 Secondly, when you do cocaine, you don't start seeing beautiful shapes and colors and stuff.
00:49:00.000 You're thinking of MDMA or LSD.
00:49:04.000 So you've clearly never done drugs.
00:49:07.000 Stop showing that, it's annoying.
00:49:09.000 What a nerd.
00:49:11.000 You're a nerd, sir.
00:49:14.000 Alright, so we're just gonna...
00:49:16.000 Chop the show here. 0.58
00:49:19.000 We've got a bunch of examples of how white people are the only people who are called racist, and black people can't be racist.
00:49:28.000 We'll be explaining why after the break.
00:49:30.000 But that's for the people who pay.
00:49:33.000 And again, censored.tv is $10 a month.
00:49:35.000 It is growing exponentially.
00:49:37.000 Way more shows.
00:49:38.000 I think we're going to raise the price soon.
00:49:40.000 Because we've got like 50 times the content that we had.
00:49:43.000 We have Andrew Tate on the show regularly.
00:49:46.000 He's drinking a bottle of water or something?
00:49:48.000 Bottle of water.
00:49:50.000 Yeah.
00:49:51.000 Um, so yeah, it's a beer and a half a month for unlimited entertainment.
00:49:55.000 And I can't tell you how many people tell me that it makes them feel sane.
00:50:00.000 They get suicidal with the way shit is going.
00:50:03.000 And then when we get on the show and we laugh at everything, they go, Oh, okay.
00:50:06.000 So you've noticed that, too.
00:50:07.000 Oh, good, good.
00:50:08.000 All right.
00:50:09.000 And it's funny.
00:50:09.000 We don't nerd out on all the details.
00:50:11.000 Like, it gets really tiring.
00:50:12.000 Like, I don't consume any politics outside of the show, as you can tell, because this is how you have it with fun.
00:50:18.000 This is the spoonful of sugar.
00:50:19.000 Do you want to see us in person?
00:50:21.000 We're in Baltimore.
00:50:21.000 Oh, yeah.
00:50:22.000 August 18th, Baltimore.
00:50:23.000 So if you're in D.C., that's the closest you're going to get is Baltimore.
00:50:27.000 We're not going to be doing a show nearby anytime soon.
00:50:31.000 Nashville, Dallas, Vegas.
00:50:34.000 Alright, so, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.