Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S4E97 - JOHNNY LEBER

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin McGuinness.

00:00:40.000 I love this.

00:00:55.000 White clock is too high, but all my life I never get this chance again.

00:01:00.000 You watch your words when you're answering the question.

00:01:03.000 Seven smallest continuing fashions.

00:01:06.000 Seven at your minutes when you're dreaming in New Zealand.

00:01:11.000 Yeah.

00:01:14.000 That was the English Beats, I think, second album, Wappin.

00:01:19.000 Kind of weird.

00:01:20.000 Rankin Rogers, the reggae guy on that album, but he's not Jamaican.

00:01:25.000 He's born in Birmingham.

00:01:27.000 She was a girl from Birmingham.

00:01:29.000 Like Tippa Iri we had last week.

00:01:31.000 A lot of these sort of British Jamaican stars were, I mean, Jamaican, yeah, were British kids of Jamaican immigrants doing a fake accent. 0.51

00:01:43.000 Can I do that?

00:01:44.000 Can I be a Scottish star?

00:01:47.000 What go on?

00:01:49.000 See you, by the way.

00:01:50.000 Couldn't have a dream home in New Zealand and all.

00:01:53.000 Hi, I'm a big Scotch star.

00:01:55.000 I'm back in Scotland.

00:01:57.000 I sing, I do Scotch songs.

00:02:01.000 That wouldn't fly.

00:02:03.000 Uh-oh, we've got a loose hair back here.

00:02:05.000 Would they be able to tell that you're putting out an accent?

00:02:09.000 Yeah, they don't seem impressed with my Scottish accent.

00:02:12.000 That's always the way it is when you do the accent of the natives. 1.00

00:02:16.000 Although, I bought a flag at cavalryflags.com, and I think it's a fake company.

00:02:24.000 It no exist.

00:02:25.000 So I called Chase Bank today to cancel the payment.

00:02:29.000 And the Indian on the phone, hello, what's going on? 1.00

00:02:35.000 Terrible reception, by the way.

00:02:37.000 And I'm like, Chase Bank is worth what?

00:02:40.000 $400 billion?

00:02:42.000 I don't know.

00:02:43.000 Can you even quantify the net worth of a bank?

00:02:46.000 Hey, computer, how much is Chase Bank worth?

00:02:49.000 $700,000 and a trillion $300.

00:02:54.000 JPMorgan, Chase, and Company traded at $132 US dollars and one cent on the New York Stock Exchange, up 1.4% since previous close.

00:03:03.000 Oh, I had no idea.

00:03:04.000 It's only worth $132.

00:03:05.000 Wow.

00:03:06.000 I could buy it.

00:03:07.000 I could go to Chase, withdraw like $500, and then spend $132 buying Chase.

00:03:13.000 People, you know why they don't buy it probably?

00:03:15.000 Because it's a lot of responsibility.

00:03:17.000 Yeah, you have the employee payroll.

00:03:20.000 You got to deal with all the other companies, all the other countries and their currency.

00:03:24.000 But it's amazing that it's $132.

00:03:26.000 Like, I've had dinners that are 10 times that.

00:03:30.000 Yeah.

00:03:32.000 It's got to be the responsibility thing.

00:03:35.000 Because then you have to know money.

00:03:36.000 You have to know an account.

00:03:37.000 You have to be around checks and papers.

00:03:39.000 Yeah.

00:03:39.000 People are like, hey, where's my money?

00:03:40.000 And you're like, sorry, sorry.

00:03:42.000 Fuck, I just bought this thing.

00:03:44.000 They're all mad.

00:03:45.000 Yeah.

00:03:47.000 But yeah, you're farming it out to India.

00:03:49.000 So he goes, sir, first of all, I can barely hear him and he keeps cutting out because I'm calling him on a 46k modem.

00:03:56.000 And he goes, sir, have you tried to contact the vendor?

00:04:00.000 And I laughed really hard because it was just such an absurd question.

00:04:06.000 I'm sorry, these hairs are driving me nuts.

00:04:10.000 Yeah, it did occur to me to contact the vendor, sir.

00:04:14.000 100% of the people who call you about this have contacted the vendor.

00:04:18.000 That is not true, sir.

00:04:20.000 Some people contact us first.

00:04:23.000 Well, then they're retards. 1.00

00:04:26.000 But it was a good, hearty laugh, and it made him so mad he hung up on me.

00:04:30.000 And then the next time I got another Indian, and he said, so you're charging 120 pounds?

00:04:37.000 I go, nope, that's Britain.

00:04:40.000 And I presume you do rubies.

00:04:42.000 You do rubies, rubles?

00:04:44.000 Yes, we do rubles, sir.

00:04:46.000 Okay.

00:04:48.000 I go, of course I contacted the fucking vendor.

00:04:51.000 Of course he's a fucking farmer with nail.

00:04:54.000 And then he said, sir, if you could limit the profanity, that would be of a great importance.

00:05:01.000 That's crazy.

00:05:02.000 I am limiting the profanity.

00:05:04.000 That's the only fuck you're going to get this entire conversation.

00:05:08.000 Pretty limited.

00:05:09.000 One profanity.

00:05:12.000 Anyway, Chase just gives you the money.

00:05:15.000 They're not going to go on a massive hunt to find the guy.

00:05:18.000 Despite their name, they don't really.

00:05:21.000 I don't blame them.

00:05:22.000 And when I buy it, which I might later on today, when I buy Chase, I'm going to be the same way.

00:05:27.000 I'll just give you your money.

00:05:30.000 $132.

00:05:32.000 Amazing.

00:05:32.000 If you buy Chase, you're going to have to deal with all those Indians.

00:05:35.000 You're going to be like Willy Wonka with all these Indians. 1.00

00:05:37.000 Well, here's the question.

00:05:39.000 When you are on those third world calls and they're like, sir, I'm very sorry you're having a problem.

00:05:46.000 And you go, thank you, buddy.

00:05:47.000 That means so much to me that you are doing that to me today.

00:05:51.000 Do they go, all right, buddy, that's not cool.

00:05:53.000 Fuck you.

00:05:54.000 That's pretty rich.

00:05:55.000 Or are they like, that guy, I understand him better than most English peoples?

00:06:00.000 Yeah, they might not know an accent's happening.

00:06:02.000 Because if someone speaks to me in shitty French, like Bonjour, come on, sava.

00:06:07.000 Esque vous voulet de soup évec moi, I understand that way better than a real French accent.

00:06:15.000 Hey, bonjour que's fait bon le, en ve des grand jours, au je duido.

00:06:20.000 That's harder.

00:06:21.000 So I like shitty accents.

00:06:23.000 So maybe they do too.

00:06:25.000 My wife always ruins this shit, though. 1.00

00:06:27.000 Like I'll be speaking to someone in their accent And they don't know, and she'll go, He's an idiot.

00:06:31.000 He's sorry, he's not.

00:06:33.000 And I'm like, You just let the cat out of the bag, lady. 0.99

00:06:36.000 The tree had fallen in the woods and it wasn't making a sound.

00:06:39.000 That guy didn't know I was making fun of him until you apologized.

00:06:44.000 Now it's on the books.

00:06:46.000 Now he's hurt.

00:06:47.000 Fucking bitch. 1.00

00:06:48.000 You know what she said yesterday by accident?

00:06:51.000 She was talking about the NWACP.

00:06:54.000 Oh, yeah.

00:06:55.000 Niggas with attitudes colored people. 1.00

00:07:00.000 Oh, okay.

00:07:01.000 That's pretty good.

00:07:03.000 Right?

00:07:07.000 It's NAACP.

00:07:08.000 The National Advancement.

00:07:11.000 Wait, what does it stand for?

00:07:13.000 Advancement of Colored People? 0.97

00:07:14.000 Sounds like it.

00:07:15.000 What are the two A's?

00:07:17.000 The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People.

00:07:21.000 It is not the NWACP.

00:07:23.000 But anyway, the reason I played that song is because I was listening to it on Saturday before I got in a big fight and turned the music off.

00:07:32.000 I said, the party's over.

00:07:35.000 Tell me if this is, if I'm wrong here, okay?

00:07:38.000 My wife buys these tiny little snacks that are yogurt with M ⁇ Ms on the top.

00:07:42.000 You open up the top.

00:07:43.000 Have I already told this story?

00:07:44.000 No.

00:07:45.000 You peel open the M ⁇ M part. 0.87

00:07:47.000 You put the M ⁇ Ms on the little yogurt thing. 0.99

00:07:50.000 It's like three bites with a normal-sized spoon.

00:07:52.000 It's a little tiny snack, right?

00:07:54.000 Yeah.

00:07:55.000 Probably for school.

00:07:56.000 I don't know what it's for.

00:07:58.000 But an adult would never eat it.

00:08:01.000 An adult, if you really wanted yogurt, he'd have a fucking bowl of yogurt.

00:08:04.000 You want to put some sweeties on it? 1.00

00:08:05.000 Get some sweeties. 0.98

00:08:07.000 I can't believe I just said sweeties.

00:08:09.000 It's like saying kiddos.

00:08:11.000 But my elder boy, who's 13 and taller than me and wants to fight, so I'm constantly on my haunches.

00:08:22.000 He's sitting down with them and he has two three packs next to him.

00:08:28.000 And he's eating one.

00:08:30.000 He's looking at his phone and he's about, and he opens another.

00:08:32.000 So he's now on number two.

00:08:33.000 I go, no, no, no, no, no.

00:08:35.000 Those are little snacks.

00:08:36.000 If you want lunch, be a man. 1.00

00:08:37.000 Have a sandwich.

00:08:38.000 Have a turkey sandwich.

00:08:40.000 Have a normal growing man's lunch. 0.97

00:08:42.000 That's little kiddie snacks.

00:08:44.000 That's like eating 40 packs of those little goldfish.

00:08:48.000 And my wife was pissed because it started. 1.00

00:08:52.000 He's like, what is it to you?

00:08:53.000 Why do you care?

00:08:54.000 I go, why do I?

00:08:55.000 It's my house, my food, my everything.

00:08:58.000 And then he just has some pizza pockets and goes to his room.

00:09:01.000 And then my mother, my mother whoops again. 0.99

00:09:04.000 Dude, it happens so often.

00:09:06.000 That's profoundly embarrassing.

00:09:11.000 My wife stares at me like one of these death stares, like, and she goes, he's a growing boy.

00:09:19.000 They're like swimmers.

00:09:20.000 They're like Mark Spitz.

00:09:21.000 They just need calories.

00:09:23.000 My brother used to walk around with pockets full of candy.

00:09:25.000 It doesn't matter.

00:09:26.000 Why do you care?

00:09:27.000 And I'm like, it's a little kiddie snack.

00:09:29.000 You don't have 50 kiddie snacks.

00:09:32.000 Who's right?

00:09:33.000 Who's wrong?

00:09:35.000 I like the full meal thing, too.

00:09:37.000 Personally, I'll see my wife eating little snacks, but she's breastfeeding. 1.00

00:09:41.000 So she's got a similar argument.

00:09:43.000 I'm not against little snacks.

00:09:45.000 I'm against eight little snacks.

00:09:47.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:09:48.000 It's just like eat.

00:09:50.000 Like, have a meal.

00:09:53.000 Those are for eight-year-olds, a little treat.

00:09:55.000 It might stunt your growth.

00:09:57.000 And she's also like, what about our other boy?

00:09:59.000 He has a big bowl of ice cream.

00:10:00.000 I go, yeah, that's a normal thing.

00:10:01.000 It's a dessert.

00:10:01.000 You have a bowl of ice cream.

00:10:03.000 It's not like I'm worried about the sugar.

00:10:05.000 It's the concept of eating 100 little snacks.

00:10:09.000 Yeah.

00:10:10.000 You know, like say, you know, those little mini Snickers bars?

00:10:13.000 Or you know what else he does?

00:10:14.000 He'll have like 50 Hershey's kisses.

00:10:17.000 Just eat some chocolate.

00:10:18.000 Don't have 100 little aluminum foil wrappers everywhere.

00:10:23.000 Yeah.

00:10:25.000 Of course you're going to agree with me because I'll fire you if you don't.

00:10:27.000 But folks at home, tell me if I'm wrong.

00:10:30.000 You have cold cuts and bread?

00:10:32.000 We got everything.

00:10:33.000 Dude.

00:10:34.000 We got to be making snacks.

00:10:34.000 I will say not great snacks.

00:10:37.000 Good.

00:10:38.000 I might do a video on the snacks in my house.

00:10:40.000 I'm not impressed.

00:10:41.000 It looks like the Bible in our pantry.

00:10:44.000 It's all these fucking wheat fins and pita and sun chips and like 900 versions of what they probably had in Israel 2,000 years ago.

00:10:55.000 Can we have some fucking salt and vinegar chips, please, bitch? 1.00

00:11:00.000 Yeah, I talk a big game when she, because I know she doesn't watch the show.

00:11:02.000 When you go home, you're like, honey, is there any chipperoos? 1.00

00:11:06.000 Some woman who knows my wife, her friend was like, you're hanging around with the Nazis, wife?

00:11:12.000 She's like, what?

00:11:14.000 You know, his new blog, he has a new blog where he rants about Jews. 0.95

00:11:19.000 What?

00:11:20.000 Nobody has a new blog where they rant about Jews.

00:11:23.000 Nobody's got a blog of Anna Kasparov.

00:11:24.000 What's a blog?

00:11:26.000 Do you have a time machine too?

00:11:28.000 And so I said, ask, it somehow ended up on my desk.

00:11:32.000 And I'm like, ask her to send the link.

00:11:34.000 You know what the link was?

00:11:36.000 An AIU video from a year and a half ago, or no, 14 months ago, where he talks about Anna Kasparian's hook nose.

00:11:46.000 So that is proof that I'm constantly ranting about Jews. 1.00

00:11:50.000 Wow, that's some digging.

00:11:52.000 I think a lot of Jews want to be like, oh, I suppose you hate me, right? 1.00

00:11:58.000 You're like the Jew. 1.00

00:11:59.000 You want to talk about the JQ, I guess, right?

00:12:01.000 Yeah, I know.

00:12:02.000 When you're dying.

00:12:03.000 Sorry.

00:12:04.000 Not on the radar.

00:12:06.000 It's like homophobia.

00:12:07.000 Oh, I guess you're scared of us.

00:12:09.000 The thought of me and my husband gives you nightmares.

00:12:13.000 No.

00:12:14.000 I'm not homophobic.

00:12:15.000 I'm home on board.

00:12:18.000 Yeah, this dude last night.

00:12:19.000 We were in Hell's Kitchen drinking.

00:12:21.000 This guy was a submarine vet.

00:12:23.000 Could not handle his liquor.

00:12:24.000 He started getting real weird.

00:12:26.000 Is that just like a vet right below the Marines?

00:12:29.000 You're just a submarine.

00:12:31.000 Yeah, good one.

00:12:32.000 He goes, at one point he said, and I quote, I would rather die a thousand deaths than fight alongside a Negro. 1.00

00:12:45.000 That's exactly what we did.

00:12:48.000 And the guy I was with was also a vet, and we both just burst out laughing.

00:12:51.000 I'm like, that's a t-shirt.

00:12:54.000 What are you talking about?

00:12:56.000 And then he went off about gays and how it's immoral and what they do Is a sin.

00:13:00.000 And I'm like, you sound like a fag. 1.00

00:13:04.000 And then at the end of the night, when we're all paying and wrapping up, he said something weird: like, I am in touch with my feminine side, and I understand that homosexuality is in all of us.

00:13:14.000 And I'm like, oh, so I was right.

00:13:15.000 You aren't family.

00:13:16.000 No.

00:13:20.000 You know what else?

00:13:20.000 One of the other guys told me, though, I'm like, let's call him Eddie.

00:13:25.000 Eddie, what are you doing?

00:13:26.000 You're having one beer?

00:13:27.000 I got to drive.

00:13:28.000 I got to drive Faw tonight.

00:13:31.000 And I go, you can have two beers by law.

00:13:34.000 He goes, let me tell you something.

00:13:35.000 I know every cop in this town.

00:13:38.000 I know every sheriff upstate.

00:13:40.000 They told me themselves, they go, if you get into an accident and you have 1.5 beers in your system, you're fucked.

00:13:47.000 And that's nothing I can do for you.

00:13:50.000 Because they give you a blood test when you get into an accident.

00:13:52.000 And if you're 1.5 beers over, you're dead.

00:13:56.000 Whoa.

00:13:57.000 So he's like, I'm not risking it.

00:13:59.000 Seems kind of valid.

00:14:02.000 Yeah, I guess.

00:14:05.000 I feel like drinking on one beer is more dangerous because I get, if I don't keep drinking after one beer, I get tired.

00:14:10.000 Now you're drowsy driving.

00:14:13.000 I could drink on 24 beers.

00:14:15.000 You could drink on 24 beers?

00:14:17.000 I bet.

00:14:19.000 Can you drive, though?

00:14:20.000 Sorry, I'm drunk.

00:14:22.000 I can speak on zero beers.

00:14:25.000 And then the last little tidbit from last night I thought was funny was this guy's got these boots that are like red wings, but they're not red wings.

00:14:35.000 I forget what they're called.

00:14:37.000 They're like Nordstroms or something.

00:14:39.000 It's an N word.

00:14:40.000 No, it's not that word.

00:14:41.000 And it's for red wing boots.

00:14:43.000 And he's an union electrician.

00:14:45.000 He's working at Lincoln Center.

00:14:46.000 And he looks at my outfit and he goes, what the fuck are you wearing?

00:14:49.000 And I go, I'm LARPing as you.

00:14:52.000 I dress blue color.

00:14:53.000 These welder pants are $350.

00:14:56.000 I spent a lot of money to look like you.

00:14:57.000 He goes, you fucking guys.

00:14:58.000 He goes, these boots, five years ago, they were $100.

00:15:01.000 Now they're $250 because of faggots like you. 1.00

00:15:06.000 And then I said, can I have a hard hat?

00:15:09.000 Do you have an extra hard hat for me?

00:15:11.000 He gave me a hard hat.

00:15:12.000 No.

00:15:13.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:15:13.000 He's the foreman of the whole.

00:15:15.000 They're spending like $10 million revamping the lighting for the Lincoln Center, which, by the way, has a flag.

00:15:23.000 It's on my Getter account.

00:15:24.000 It has a flag as big as the Lincoln Center on it.

00:15:27.000 Every city hall in New York, the Bronx everywhere, has a Ukrainian flag.

00:15:34.000 I didn't know.

00:15:36.000 They chose my side.

00:15:37.000 They chose sides for us.

00:15:39.000 I want them both to lose.

00:15:43.000 Okay, you know what I'm going to do, Ryan?

00:15:46.000 You can...

00:15:47.000 There it is.

00:15:48.000 Oh, wow.

00:15:48.000 Look at that.

00:15:50.000 I mean, Ukraine is probably the side we should go on, but it seems semi-controversial.

00:15:57.000 And it just, I find it unusual that there's a war at the other side of the world.

00:16:01.000 And we're like, that's our side.

00:16:02.000 Yeah.

00:16:03.000 It's, I'm, my sketch meter has gone off.

00:16:07.000 You don't know what the fuck's going on with that one.

00:16:08.000 Like, what if Iran and Iraq went to war?

00:16:10.000 We'd go, Iraq. 1.00

00:16:13.000 What about, like, Syria and Turkey?

00:16:15.000 Syria.

00:16:16.000 We'd pick Syria. 1.00

00:16:17.000 Put Syrian flags up. 0.69

00:16:19.000 You know who made a Nick Fuentes on that show?

00:16:23.000 What is it?

00:16:24.000 I'm Having a Good Day?

00:16:25.000 I'm fine, thank you.

00:16:27.000 That show that you were on.

00:16:28.000 I'm doing great.

00:16:29.000 I like how the penny drops when you're wrong.

00:16:31.000 You're like, what is it?

00:16:32.000 Oh, yes.

00:16:32.000 I'm fine.

00:16:33.000 Thank you.

00:16:34.000 That's like when my friend Eric DeBras was trying to remember the band Dinosaur Jr., and he's like, what the fuck are they called?

00:16:40.000 T-Rex must do that.

00:16:41.000 Oh, Plasticine Donkey.

00:16:43.000 So anyway, Jay Mascus was playing for Plasticine Donkey.

00:16:46.000 I'm like, nope.

00:16:48.000 No, he was not.

00:16:50.000 You can go on the wide, Ryan.

00:16:52.000 I have to go get my lady's hair product to take care of this cowlick. 1.00

00:16:55.000 It's ruining the show.

00:16:57.000 You're Razak.

00:16:58.000 Play the song WAP as I go and I get my hair.

00:17:01.000 Okie and Doki.

00:17:26.000 I don't know if you guys realize this, but when I am doing this show, I'm looking at me, just like you.

00:17:31.000 There's a picture.

00:17:34.000 There's a monotaur.

00:17:38.000 So this podcast you're on, I'm doing great, the podcast.

00:17:42.000 I was listening to Nick Fuentez.

00:17:43.000 I almost finished it.

00:17:44.000 When he gets into Russia, it's very convincing.

00:17:46.000 It makes...

00:17:47.000 He knows his shit.

00:17:48.000 In fact, Ryan, that might be why I was sort of alarmed to see the Ukraine flag.

00:17:54.000 Because after hearing Nick's assessment of the whole thing, I was like, yeah, it seems doesn't seem like it's very obvious heroes or losers.

00:18:06.000 But, you know, we got some interesting mail, including a Ukrainian viewer who called me a retard.

00:18:14.000 And he said, your take on the view is absolutely retarded. 0.97

00:18:18.000 Did I say the view?

00:18:19.000 Yes.

00:18:20.000 Your take on the view.

00:18:21.000 Barbara Walton.

00:18:22.000 I always confuse that ladies' morning show with the carnage in Ukraine. 0.99

00:18:28.000 They're about the same.

00:18:29.000 He said, your take is retarded.

00:18:31.000 It's a real war shit for brains.

00:18:33.000 That's what I love about this show.

00:18:34.000 Only one of those things is worth watching, but they're very similar.

00:18:39.000 They're both equally horrible.

00:18:42.000 But, yeah, that song, by the way, is the thing I love about the reason I played on this show is it's Dave Wakeling is using his voice as an instrument.

00:18:52.000 And so is Ranking Roger.

00:18:54.000 If you recall, they went on to do general public.

00:18:57.000 Tenderness, where is it?

00:18:59.000 Tenderness?

00:19:01.000 We're moving up the hundreds.

00:19:05.000 And that was more of a Rankin Roger thing.

00:19:07.000 But I can't think of another band where men use their voices as instruments so much.

00:19:14.000 Now, this is him on Jonesy's Jukebox.

00:19:15.000 That's Steve Jones from the Sex Pistols.

00:19:17.000 That's Dave Wakeling now.

00:19:18.000 He's 62, for fuck's sakes.

00:19:20.000 That's how old everyone is. 0.69

00:19:23.000 But it's a really fun little conversation.

00:19:25.000 Those guys are just so fucking real.

00:19:28.000 You know what he said in this Interview, Dave Wakeling goes, Yeah, I was talking to a policeman in New York, a friend of mine, and we were both talking about when you get older, you get more conservative.

00:19:40.000 And the cop said, Yeah, it's because when you get older, it's harder to get out the way when there's trouble.

00:19:48.000 If there's some sort of riot or people are charging, you can't jump over a fence like you could when you were a young man.

00:19:55.000 So you don't want any trouble.

00:19:56.000 That's funny.

00:19:57.000 Because you can't move out of the way.

00:19:59.000 And then Steve Jones talks about how you're 17 until you look in the mirror.

00:20:03.000 Then you go, what the fuck is that?

00:20:06.000 I feel the same way.

00:20:07.000 Every time I see that fucking picture of me, when we do the mailbag, I'm like, who is that wrinkly senior citizen? 0.91

00:20:14.000 Every time I look in the mirror, I'm shocked that I'm Asian still.

00:20:17.000 I'm like, oh yeah.

00:20:19.000 Oh, yeah, I'm a chink.

00:20:21.000 Yeah.

00:20:22.000 When I was on shrooms, it really hit me.

00:20:25.000 I looked in the mirror and I was like, what the?

00:20:26.000 Oh, my God.

00:20:27.000 Oh, my God.

00:20:28.000 I'm a rice ball.

00:20:29.000 Yeah.

00:20:30.000 I hate rice balls.

00:20:32.000 And I punched the mirror.

00:20:33.000 I started World War II.

00:20:35.000 I bombed Pearl Harbor.

00:20:38.000 I do puke porn.

00:20:39.000 I like tentacles and pussies and stuff.

00:20:41.000 I'm obsessed with seven-year-old girls.

00:20:43.000 And I like sticky beans in the morning that are akin to torture, apparently.

00:20:50.000 Ryan is, of course, referring to the fact that in Japanese prisons, they eat the same stinky rotten beans that he has in his leisure. 0.97

00:20:58.000 And when David Cho was in Tokyo, in prison, which is probably the greatest story I've ever heard, he assumed that he was being tortured and it was some sort of punishment.

00:21:08.000 What the fuck did they have us eating, dude?

00:21:10.000 Feeding him leeches.

00:21:12.000 That story is, I'll just briefly summarize it, okay?

00:21:16.000 He was doing an art show in Tokyo.

00:21:20.000 He was at a coffee table book fancy store, right?

00:21:23.000 He got a stack of coffee table books this big.

00:21:25.000 He was about to spend like two grand on coffee table books.

00:21:28.000 And then in the lineup, he's like, what the fuck am I doing?

00:21:30.000 These are going to cost me a fortune to ship back.

00:21:32.000 I'm even going to, am I going to get them on the plane?

00:21:35.000 I could probably get these, have them mailed.

00:21:37.000 I'm not doing this.

00:21:38.000 So he put the books down.

00:21:41.000 An undercover security guard sees him leave the store.

00:21:47.000 He didn't see him put down the books.

00:21:49.000 He thinks that David stole some books.

00:21:51.000 And they are racist in Japan.

00:21:53.000 And David Cho is not a nip. 0.77

00:21:56.000 He's a gook. 0.97

00:21:56.000 And they don't take kindly to the Koreans over there. 0.97

00:22:00.000 So maybe they could tell that he's not Japanese.

00:22:03.000 Anyway, the security guard starts chasing David.

00:22:08.000 And David just looks behind him.

00:22:11.000 And he's in a new country, in a new city.

00:22:13.000 He doesn't know anyone.

00:22:14.000 He's a street kid from LA, East L.A. And so he goes, oh, there's some guy chasing me.

00:22:20.000 He wants to fuck with me.

00:22:20.000 And the guy's wearing like a red, puffy ski jacket.

00:22:23.000 He doesn't look like a security guard.

00:22:25.000 So David takes a few corners.

00:22:27.000 The guy's still chasing him.

00:22:28.000 So David turns around the corner and then just fucking wham, nails him when this guy turns the corner, beats the shit out of him.

00:22:35.000 And then he runs away.

00:22:36.000 The guy calls the cops.

00:22:38.000 So now the cops are coming at him.

00:22:40.000 And he's like, what the fuck?

00:22:42.000 Now this is the weird part.

00:22:43.000 Dave decides to fight the police.

00:22:46.000 Okay.

00:22:48.000 He successfully beats them up, about three cops.

00:22:51.000 Then he runs around the corner and there's a six-foot-tall giant Japanese beast from Moonraker who kicks the shit out of Dave. 1.00

00:22:59.000 Then he's in prison.

00:23:01.000 And he, in Tokyo prison, if you can mail it, you can have it.

00:23:06.000 So you could mail someone inflatable furniture.

00:23:09.000 They could have this studio if we just mailed it in small pieces, right?

00:23:13.000 Outside of like a gun and shit, but like books, galore, you can have anything you want in a Tokyo prison if it can arrive in the mail.

00:23:19.000 So you could have all inflatable furniture.

00:23:22.000 The shithead that Dave knew there was getting all this mail and just like, didn't forward it.

00:23:30.000 It was too lazy.

00:23:31.000 Letters, gifts, books.

00:23:33.000 So Dave had fuck all in there.

00:23:36.000 I think he was in prison for four months.

00:23:38.000 And so he wanted to paint.

00:23:40.000 So he would use urine, feces, and blood as his paints.

00:23:45.000 And he made all these beautiful, all naked chicks because he was furiously masturbating the whole time out of sheer boredom.

00:23:51.000 He's alone in a fucking room with nothing but a futon.

00:23:54.000 So he would make porn out of his own excrement and then jerk off to it.

00:24:01.000 He almost beat up a cop to escape, too.

00:24:04.000 He had a phone number memorized and all this cool shit.

00:24:07.000 A whole plan to get out of Japan. 0.50

00:24:09.000 And I go, Dave, you got to be on locked up abroad.

00:24:15.000 And he goes, yeah, they contacted me, but I said, no, fuck it.

00:24:18.000 What?

00:24:19.000 It would be the best episode ever.

00:24:20.000 See, I don't get that.

00:24:21.000 My personality is every time I hear something good or interesting, I want to tell the world.

00:24:27.000 But other people aren't like that.

00:24:28.000 Even the Knights of Columbus, Hell's Kitchen, they have all these great Westie stories.

00:24:34.000 They showed me a picture of Jimmy Coogan the other day.

00:24:36.000 He's alive.

00:24:37.000 Coonin, sorry.

00:24:38.000 He's alive.

00:24:38.000 He's in prison.

00:24:41.000 They all know him.

00:24:42.000 And I'm like, guys, can you come on my show, please, and tell these Westie stories, please?

00:24:47.000 Everyone's dead.

00:24:48.000 I'm talking about the 80s.

00:24:49.000 You're not snitching.

00:24:51.000 And they're like, ah, those, the past should best stay in the past.

00:24:57.000 No.

00:24:58.000 I couldn't disagree more.

00:25:00.000 Ever heard of history?

00:25:03.000 How many stories are just dead because of that?

00:25:06.000 They're like, hey, man, sleeping lips never sail.

00:25:09.000 And you're like, all right, whatever.

00:25:11.000 Wait, did you just make that up?

00:25:12.000 Yeah.

00:25:13.000 Sleeping lips.

00:25:14.000 Not loose lips sink ships. 0.99

00:25:17.000 No.

00:25:17.000 But sleeping lips never sail.

00:25:19.000 That implies you want your lips to sail.

00:25:22.000 Oh, great.

00:25:23.000 My lips will never see the high seas.

00:25:26.000 Yeah, I guess that is correct.

00:25:29.000 Maybe don't invent your own colloquialisms if your IQ is 50.

00:25:33.000 I could make it make sense.

00:25:34.000 Loose lips don't sail. 0.99

00:25:35.000 Sleeping don't stop.

00:25:36.000 No, sleeping lips don't sail. 0.99

00:25:38.000 So if you put your lips to sleep, they're not going to sail into somebody's harbor and be heard.

00:25:42.000 Lips don't sail. 0.96

00:25:43.000 You're thinking of boats.

00:25:44.000 Not when they're sleeping, they don't.

00:25:46.000 No, they never do.

00:25:47.000 Because they're sleeping.

00:25:49.000 Nope.

00:25:50.000 Even if you're in the water and you stick your lips out of the top of the water, your lips are still not sailing.

00:25:57.000 Well, lips aren't really ever loose either.

00:25:59.000 Yeah, they are.

00:26:00.000 They're on just fine.

00:26:01.000 This is a tight lip.

00:26:02.000 It's literally tight.

00:26:05.000 But this isn't loose.

00:26:06.000 It's a loose lip.

00:26:07.000 I could make my lips tight and be like, I saw a crime happen that we are storming Pearl Harbor tomorrow.

00:26:16.000 The English are coming. 1.00

00:26:17.000 No one talks like this.

00:26:19.000 No one talks like the troops are going to be attacking Dresden on Thursday.

00:26:25.000 Jimmy Stewart.

00:26:26.000 Look, I shouldn't be telling anyone this, but I just got a letter from my boy.

00:26:29.000 He's up there in Germany.

00:26:30.000 They're going to be hitting Dresden hard tomorrow.

00:26:37.000 Speaking of loose lips. 0.59

00:26:39.000 Yesterday I wanted to bring this up because I don't know if you saw this, but it was on the Kanye topic.

00:26:43.000 Like a loose end, loose lip.

00:26:46.000 You see this clip of Kanye watching Tucker?

00:27:01.000 Freedom does not come from an election.

00:27:03.000 The freedom comes from you that money of purpose.

00:27:07.000 The freedom comes from you that take the purpose.

00:27:10.000 The freedom comes from you that considering your life matters.

00:27:15.000 But if they clutter your neighborhood with abortion clinics, they're lying.

00:27:20.000 This is facts, bro.

00:27:24.000 Well, the other guy in the car was like, stop listening to this shit, bro.

00:27:30.000 But it's so good.

00:27:32.000 TMZ reported that many people at Kanye West Circle believe he needs, quote, serious help.

00:27:38.000 And then sent it an anonymous family member who explained that he's experiencing a bipolar episode.

00:27:43.000 Maybe he is.

00:27:45.000 We don't know.

00:27:46.000 But it doesn't mean what he said is wrong.

00:27:47.000 Boom! 0.99

00:27:49.000 Of course, they were horrified by calling crazy as quick as you can before I knew what makes it.

00:27:53.000 Love and Tugger. 0.96

00:27:54.000 I'm going to make a t-shirt of this.

00:27:56.000 The guy yelling is always right.

00:27:58.000 Yeah.

00:27:59.000 I just saw some video of a guy getting tased at the Dallas airport, and he's like, I spent $2,000.

00:28:04.000 Why the fuck am I not on that plane?

00:28:06.000 And the cops are there with tasers.

00:28:08.000 And I'm like, yeah, why the fuck aren't you on that plane?

00:28:11.000 You spent $2,000.

00:28:15.000 Even like the lunatics on the street sometimes screaming about Jesus and the end of the world.

00:28:19.000 Yeah, we're in a war with Russia.

00:28:23.000 The state news agency was declaring they want Alaska back and that they could retaliate with nuclear warheads and they want to see mass hangings in Ukraine.

00:28:34.000 That's pretty end of daisy.

00:28:36.000 So even the homeless nuts are correct. 0.99

00:28:40.000 Speaking of Trump, let's just do a Trump thing.

00:28:43.000 I got some Trump shit I want to do.

00:28:45.000 We're going to discuss Trump.

00:28:49.000 Do we have a Trump card?

00:28:52.000 I think we have a Gay for Trump card. 0.78

00:28:54.000 Okay, let's play the Gay for Trump. 0.93

00:28:56.000 Interstitial, I believe, is the legal term here in the U.S. Look how cool my Anita Fashions lining is. 0.78

00:29:04.000 It matches my tie.

00:29:06.000 You should match your lining with your tie, because when you get somewhere and it's hot and you take your jacket off, people see those little zoops.

00:29:12.000 And they're like, ooh, you didn't show it off.

00:29:14.000 You were hiding it.

00:29:16.000 It's like when I went to my friend Guido Patrice's house when I was 12, and in the basement, he's got a whole drum kit.

00:29:23.000 I go, what the fuck?

00:29:25.000 You play the drums?

00:29:25.000 He goes, yeah, I play the drums.

00:29:27.000 I'll play it for a while.

00:29:28.000 He gets it on them.

00:29:32.000 He never told anyone.

00:29:34.000 As opposed to Styx, the character on Happy Days, who had to carry around drumsticks and be like, hi, I'm the drum guy.

00:29:39.000 No, it's way better when people discover that you've got a trick up your sleeve.

00:29:45.000 All right.

00:29:46.000 Do not allow anyone to tell you that it cannot be done.

00:29:51.000 I'm gay.

00:29:52.000 And I love you.

00:29:55.000 And yes, together, we will make America great again.

00:30:05.000 Okay, play it.

00:30:05.000 You want to get some chills?

00:30:07.000 Play 19.

00:30:09.000 On my MAGA dad group, which is in the suburbs, yes, they live there too.

00:30:15.000 They sent me this and they said, remember having a real president?

00:30:19.000 Let's watch some porn.

00:30:22.000 Gay porn together. 0.98

00:30:25.000 The way it was meant to be.

00:30:28.000 Filibustering. 1.00

00:30:29.000 Okay.

00:30:30.000 Maybe.

00:30:31.000 Because videos are good.

00:30:33.000 We like them.

00:30:34.000 They look like stuff.

00:30:35.000 They sound like stuff.

00:30:36.000 They're good.

00:30:36.000 So we're going to watch one here today.

00:30:40.000 Together.

00:30:42.000 Mr. President.

00:30:44.000 Y'all just too good.

00:30:45.000 We the people.

00:30:47.000 All movement is the reason why our president of the United States is standing here in front of us today.

00:31:02.000 But with our great military, these are great things.

00:31:04.000 You jump.

00:31:05.000 When President Trump promised all these things that he's going to do for us, I knew he was going to do this for us.

00:31:13.000 There's one more thing.

00:31:14.000 Tonight we have a very special,

00:31:57.000 beautiful bird.

00:32:00.000 I'm tearing up.

00:32:02.000 So did you see the Nelk Boys podcast he was on?

00:32:04.000 I did.

00:32:05.000 I watched the whole damn shit.

00:32:07.000 Where can I get it?

00:32:09.000 Bitch shoot, I believe, or Rumble? 1.00

00:32:11.000 Something like that.

00:32:12.000 Okay.

00:32:13.000 On their Twitter, they posted a place you could find it.

00:32:17.000 So YouTube deleted it because of misinformation?

00:32:22.000 Yeah.

00:32:23.000 No.

00:32:24.000 They deleted it because the sin in America today is to be charming And to like Trump and to make Trump more popular, to disseminate his message.

00:32:35.000 That is the sin.

00:32:36.000 In other words, the DNC controls the American conversation.

00:32:42.000 And they are treating all social media, all of our accesses to information as a PR firm.

00:32:48.000 And they've decided no, Nelk Boys are popular, especially with young people. 1.00

00:32:53.000 That's a mortal sin.

00:32:55.000 So, off it goes.

00:32:57.000 There's no content on that episode that was offensive.

00:33:00.000 There was no misinformation about COVID.

00:33:02.000 He's been vaxed.

00:33:04.000 He's pro-vax.

00:33:05.000 Lefties hate him.

00:33:07.000 I mean, sorry, far-righties hate him for his vax shit.

00:33:11.000 But he's absolutely, there is absolutely no reason to ban that besides it made Trump look good.

00:33:19.000 Why are Max and John in prison?

00:33:21.000 Because they fought Antifa.

00:33:22.000 Antifa is the paramilitary wing of the DNC.

00:33:25.000 In other words, they offended the DNC.

00:33:27.000 Now I'm saying, in other words, like Howard Stern, every second word.

00:33:32.000 So pull up the next one.

00:33:34.000 2-0.

00:33:38.000 And quite the DJ here at Marlotto.

00:33:41.000 I heard you're spinning.

00:33:42.000 You DJ?

00:33:43.000 Would you believe it?

00:33:44.000 I love music.

00:33:45.000 I have an aptitude for music.

00:33:47.000 What type of music?

00:33:48.000 During, you know, over our lives, we take tests and aptitude tests and all this.

00:33:52.000 I've always had a high aptitude for music, but I love great music.

00:33:57.000 So do you actually spin or do you kick?

00:34:00.000 This is what people don't get about Trump.

00:34:02.000 He's a bullshitter, not a liar.

00:34:04.000 It's a New York thing.

00:34:05.000 I think a big problem with him is Midwesterners don't get New Yorkers. 0.82

00:34:09.000 I could shoot someone on 42nd Street and get away with it.

00:34:12.000 I couldn't literally shoot someone.

00:34:14.000 You're exaggerating.

00:34:15.000 Now, he said, I have a high aptitude for music.

00:34:19.000 He just means that I love music and I have a big recollection and I do well when I, not recollection, but music collection, and I do well when I DJ parties, when I play music at parties.

00:34:27.000 He colors that up by saying, you know, tests, people have an aptitude.

00:34:30.000 They do tests for this, tests for that.

00:34:32.000 He didn't literally do a musical aptitude test.

00:34:35.000 He's just saying that he has a gift and if he were to test, he would do well.

00:34:40.000 It's a colorful way of talking.

00:34:43.000 It's kind of Scottish, actually, and I think his mother's Scottish.

00:34:50.000 I want to pick the ones out there.

00:34:51.000 What's your go-to banger on the internet?

00:34:53.000 Well, I have a lot of them.

00:34:55.000 I have a lot of them.

00:34:56.000 Don't wear shorts to a Trump interview, by the way, dude.

00:34:59.000 Dons don't wear shorts. 1.00

00:35:02.000 That's a soprano screen.

00:35:03.000 It is, yeah, yeah.

00:35:05.000 It does get people moving, though.

00:35:06.000 You know, I'll play beautiful.

00:35:08.000 I love Broadway stuff and, you know, Phantom of the Opera and Les Miz, etc.

00:35:13.000 You know what gets him rocking?

00:35:16.000 YMCA?

00:35:18.000 I heard you're becoming quite the DJ here.

00:35:21.000 Now, you know why that's relevant?

00:35:22.000 Yeah.

00:35:23.000 Do you remember when Biden was on that talk show with that black dude who was desperately trying to kiss his ass and give him a free commercial? 0.79

00:35:31.000 And they were trying to get the black vote.

00:35:33.000 And he keeps fucking it up by saying things like, come on, man.

00:35:36.000 You don't vote for me.

00:35:36.000 You ain't black.

00:35:38.000 They're going to put you back in chains and other idiotic statements.

00:35:41.000 But the guy goes, so what kind of music do you listen to?

00:35:44.000 Very easy, probably pre-written.

00:35:46.000 You could have come up with like, I don't know, the Eagles, Hotel California.

00:35:51.000 Like, it's a pretty, it's a pretty soft pass.

00:35:55.000 And he goes, oh, all kinds of stuff.

00:35:59.000 Yeah.

00:36:01.000 I like all kinds of music, fast music, slow music.

00:36:04.000 And he goes, okay.

00:36:05.000 You're not really taking the bait here.

00:36:08.000 What songs do you listen to to get pumped?

00:36:11.000 And Trump will say it.

00:36:12.000 Why MCA?

00:36:14.000 Yeah.

00:36:15.000 He'll get specific.

00:36:17.000 He's not scared.

00:36:17.000 He's brave and he knows who he is.

00:36:20.000 He's sure of himself.

00:36:21.000 Biden just goes, oh, and then he said this when pressed to give an actual song he used to get pumped.

00:36:27.000 He goes, I probably shouldn't say.

00:36:30.000 And then the black guy laughs his head off. 0.98

00:36:31.000 What is it?

00:36:32.000 Do hast?

00:36:33.000 Yeah, what is it?

00:36:34.000 Like anal cunt? 0.99

00:36:37.000 Is it vaginal swastika? 0.81

00:36:39.000 It's gore, man.

00:36:42.000 It's screwdriver.

00:36:43.000 It's a song called Nigger, Nigger, Ro, Ro, Row by Screwdriver.

00:36:47.000 It's...

00:36:48.000 Wait, they cut this part out.

00:36:49.000 This was hilarious.

00:36:50.000 It's an underrated track.

00:36:51.000 Do you know?

00:36:52.000 Is it an underrated?

00:36:53.000 I think so.

00:36:53.000 Well, it gets a lot of...

00:36:54.000 Is it an underrated?

00:36:57.000 Wait, but...

00:36:58.000 YMCA.

00:37:00.000 The gay national anthem.

00:37:01.000 Did you ever hear that?

00:37:02.000 They call it the gay national anthem. 0.66

00:37:05.000 YMCA gets people up.

00:37:06.000 I wanted to use that as a drop, so if there's ever a gay song, you're like, it's the gay national anthem, frankly.

00:37:13.000 So yeah, deleted.

00:37:16.000 Knockboys. 0.98

00:37:17.000 By the way, speaking of songs and offensive songs that you probably shouldn't say, we've always known racist music.

00:37:25.000 When you think of racist music, you think of the bands I just mentioned, right?

00:37:28.000 Screwdriver and the like and maybe some old country songs.

00:37:32.000 But what people don't understand is racism is all but completely absent in America.

00:37:38.000 But as soon as you leave our borders, especially western borders, racism is quote unquote alive and well.

00:37:45.000 And remember we saw those Chinese basketball fans yelling the N-word at the team.

00:37:51.000 I can't remember what angered them, but they were laughing and screaming the N-word at every player who came off the bus.

00:38:00.000 You notice I say N-word when it would be offensive, but I say nigger if it's like the title of the song. 1.00

00:38:06.000 Oh no, but we're supposed to say right.

00:38:09.000 Anyway, so the Chinese people are yelling at the basketball players.

00:38:14.000 And Ryan and I recently discovered this unbelievably offensive, and I'm hard to offend, but this is just, so you know that in China, they're destroying the lives of the Uyghurs and not just inconveniencing them and starving them, but literally murdering them. 1.00

00:38:30.000 It is ethnic cleansing. 0.94

00:38:33.000 But because no one wants to offend China, they let it go. 0.67

00:38:37.000 And the juxtaposition, like if this was in America, people would, it would be hair-whiteningly offensive.

00:38:43.000 But this guy, what's his name?

00:38:46.000 Oh, Johnny Leber.

00:38:47.000 Johnny Leber?

00:38:48.000 Yeah, Leber.

00:38:50.000 Johnny Leber.

00:38:51.000 That sounds like Leper.

00:38:52.000 So this guy, Johnny Leber, he writes songs about how much he hates Uyghurs, if you can believe that. 1.00

00:38:59.000 There he is.

00:39:09.000 Some Uyghurs never die. 1.00

00:39:11.000 They just smell that way.

00:39:12.000 It's terrible.

00:39:13.000 And this is a popular song over there.

00:39:15.000 Like, this guy's a folk hero in China.

00:39:18.000 Yeah, I think this is like a greatest hits commercial.

00:39:22.000 Everyone's cowboys and Uyghurs. 1.00

00:39:24.000 What is that?

00:39:24.000 Oh, this one here.

00:39:38.000 They claim to be wild Indians from the prairie.

00:39:42.000 Disgusting.

00:39:43.000 Horrible.

00:39:49.000 Go make a cowboy and a wiggle out of game. 0.95

00:39:54.000 Okay.

00:39:56.000 Oh, I get it.

00:39:59.000 So are you Chinese?

00:40:01.000 Oh, yeah, of course.

00:40:02.000 Look.

00:40:03.000 I thought you might be Japanese.

00:40:04.000 So is this guy popular over there?

00:40:06.000 Oh, very popular.

00:40:07.000 He's like 100% like top artist, you know.

00:40:10.000 Like a lot of people sing songs like that from him, you know.

00:40:14.000 And I don't know, it's pretty controversial.

00:40:17.000 Yeah, it seems like that song, he said, the house next door to me is full of Uyghurs. 1.00

00:40:22.000 They claim to be wild Indians from the plains.

00:40:24.000 Yes.

00:40:24.000 And so he's not, the guy isn't buying it, obviously.

00:40:27.000 And he's saying, we're going to make cowboys and Uyghurs our new game instead of cowboys and Indians.

00:40:32.000 Yeah, cowboy, yeah.

00:40:33.000 Cowboy used to kill Indian. 0.93

00:40:35.000 And some Uyghurs never die. 1.00

00:40:37.000 They just smell that way.

00:40:39.000 This is in a climate where Uyghurs are being murdered. 1.00

00:40:42.000 Yeah, so in some sense of terrible, really, but it's like catchy, kind of catchy.

00:40:47.000 I'm getting the feeling you're not genuinely offended by it.

00:40:50.000 You think some of it is okay.

00:40:52.000 Well, you know, music is like expression, right?

00:40:56.000 So even though it's kind of mean, you know, it's kind of fun.

00:41:02.000 What's this Uyghur hating me? 1.00

00:41:03.000 Play that song.

00:41:04.000 This one's pretty good.

00:41:05.000 It sounds like one of the worst.

00:41:27.000 Or should I took out a hold of Wigger hating me? 1.00

00:41:33.000 Wow.

00:41:34.000 Yikes.

00:41:35.000 That's really.

00:41:37.000 That's indefensible, I'd say.

00:41:38.000 It's totally and utterly indefensible.

00:41:40.000 And it just shows you, like, I think I always say America is the least racist country in the world.

00:41:45.000 And I think we're so parochial here.

00:41:48.000 You know, I think two-thirds of Americans don't even have a passport.

00:41:51.000 So they don't travel.

00:41:51.000 They don't see the way that other people talk.

00:41:54.000 And in, I find that word offensive, Uyghur.

00:41:58.000 Yeah.

00:41:59.000 And to hear them say that in China like that and Uyghur hating me, I don't know.

00:42:08.000 It's just wrong.

00:42:10.000 It's terrible because they put it like in a nice little envelope where you're like, you want to tap your toe to it, but then you listen to lyrics and it's like, yikes.

00:42:17.000 And you don't hear about it.

00:42:19.000 You know?

00:42:20.000 The media, you'll never see that guy.

00:42:22.000 Johnny, what's his name?

00:42:24.000 Johnny Leber.

00:42:25.000 You'll never see Johnny Leber in the American news, in Daily Mail.

00:42:29.000 They won't go near it.

00:42:30.000 But if it was an American singing that about, I don't know, some other group, forget about the goddamn news.

00:42:38.000 All right, let's lighten up a bit.

00:42:41.000 Dude, this new Nicholas Cage movie, how long have we been talking for?

00:42:45.000 About 43 minutes.

00:42:47.000 This new Nicholas Cage movie looks like hot fire.

00:42:50.000 Cool.

00:42:51.000 It got 100% Rotten Tomatoes.

00:42:53.000 Now, we know Rotten Tomatoes is woke, but the guys that work there still like movies.

00:42:58.000 So I think it's consequential when they give 100% after the movie debuted at South by Southwest Film Festival.

00:43:08.000 But let's have a look at the trailer.

00:43:10.000 High quality.

00:43:11.000 I can't wait to see this.

00:43:12.000 Although, let me give you a tip.

00:43:14.000 I've already watched this trailer.

00:43:16.000 It looks fucking awesome.

00:43:18.000 But like all trailers, there's a little too much exposition.

00:43:22.000 So if you really want to enjoy yourself and you're a big movie fan, I would recommend skipping forward and not watching the trailer.

00:43:31.000 Because you basically have seen the movie by the time you're done.

00:43:34.000 I just looked this up too.

00:43:35.000 I was like, how many trailers gave away a movie's ending?

00:43:39.000 And there's a lot.

00:43:39.000 There's a whole list.

00:43:40.000 Mashable does a compilation of it.

00:43:43.000 Like Survivor or no, Castaway with Tom Hanks.

00:43:45.000 Well, didn't you say the soundtrack to the Batman gives it away?

00:43:48.000 Yeah.

00:43:49.000 Well, not entirely, but they tell you when characters are getting rolled out and like what.

00:43:53.000 Track three, I'm locked up.

00:43:55.000 Track four, they forgot to lock the door.

00:43:57.000 It's kind of like that.

00:43:58.000 Like if you're smart.

00:43:59.000 Track five, the great escape.

00:44:01.000 Track seven, Joker's now fucked, now that I got out.

00:44:08.000 Track 10, hanging in a cage over sharks.

00:44:11.000 Track 11, going up the top of the cage and crawling up the chain and then going along the I-beans and not getting eaten by sharks at all.

00:44:22.000 Surprise, battering, bitch. 1.00

00:44:25.000 End of penguin.

00:44:26.000 Joker in jail, last song.

00:44:29.000 Nice place.

00:44:31.000 Maybe I ought to get into the olive business.

00:44:33.000 Mr. Cage, excuse me, real quick.

00:44:35.000 The guy that owns this house, what's his name?

00:44:37.000 Hubby.

00:44:38.000 Javi.

00:44:39.000 Is Javi going to want me to, uh, you know.

00:44:43.000 I'm not sure I understand.

00:44:44.000 Look, if Javi wants me to suck his or f ⁇ his wife or watch me watch him f ⁇ his wife, that's a no-go.

00:44:48.000 You understand?

00:44:49.000 That's no bueno.

00:44:50.000 I think so.

00:44:50.000 Okay, and if Javi...

00:44:52.000 Same hubby.

00:45:00.000 Nick Cage.

00:45:04.000 Wow.

00:45:05.000 What's the worry here, Nick?

00:45:07.000 You've lost some of your talent as an actor?

00:45:10.000 No.

00:45:14.000 What did he say?

00:45:15.000 He says he loves you, but he went in a different direction.

00:45:19.000 I'm done.

00:45:20.000 I'm putting actors.

00:45:21.000 You know what's rave about this, too?

00:45:23.000 I think Nicholas Cage's career is in the shitter.

00:45:26.000 Like, the last movie I saw him in, he had no dialogue at all, and it was a retarded horror movie. 1.00

00:45:31.000 Oh, we watched that together, yeah.

00:45:32.000 About the toys at, like, Chuck E. Cheese coming.

00:45:36.000 The Pants at Freddy type thing.

00:45:37.000 Yeah, the monsters at Chuck E. Cheese coming to life and killing everyone.

00:45:41.000 I mean, it would definitely be a really cool, crazy movie for a 12-year-old.

00:45:46.000 Yeah, so you probably liked it.

00:45:48.000 I wanted to like it so bad, I did not.

00:45:51.000 I was sad.

00:45:52.000 It's just corny as shit.

00:45:53.000 And you're watching it going, wow, this is I'm watching the end of a man's career.

00:45:58.000 A great actor's career.

00:46:00.000 I mean, Raising Arizona.

00:46:02.000 Everyone likes Face Off and the corny stuff.

00:46:04.000 I like Valley Girls and Raising Arizona.

00:46:07.000 I like Young Punk Nick.

00:46:09.000 A tremendous honor to be a part of storytelling and myth-making.

00:46:17.000 Fuck me.

00:46:17.000 I'm driving through the hills.

00:46:19.000 One more time.

00:46:21.000 We got another offer.

00:46:22.000 It's a million bucks.

00:46:24.000 It's to attend a wealthy gentleman's birthday party.

00:46:27.000 You would never do that.

00:46:28.000 It's the easiest gig ever.

00:46:30.000 You play yourself.

00:46:31.000 What do we know about this guy anyway?

00:46:33.000 Zee into something strange?

00:46:39.000 I wouldn't think so.

00:46:41.000 They wrecked this by giving us the teaser for the trailer at the beginning of this.

00:46:51.000 Sorry, folks.

00:46:52.000 Repeating shit.

00:46:54.000 God, this place is stunning.

00:46:56.000 What is your favorite?

00:46:56.000 Anyway, let's stop.

00:46:57.000 Let's stop.

00:46:58.000 Let's stop.

00:46:58.000 You get the idea.

00:46:59.000 It looks really cool.

00:46:59.000 He becomes best friends with this guy.

00:47:02.000 Then he finds out that the guy is like El Chapo.

00:47:05.000 And then the FBI says, we need you to investigate him.

00:47:10.000 Okay, I have something retarded to say, but no one has ever been able to answer this. 0.98

00:47:15.000 And the responses I've gotten from both criminals and law enforcement suck.

00:47:20.000 Let me present a scenario, all right?

00:47:23.000 I'm hanging out.

00:47:24.000 I start getting friends with mobsters.

00:47:27.000 They take me aside, just like Drea DiMateo in The Sopranos, and they go, we need you to wear a wire.

00:47:35.000 Or we're going to throw your family in prison and you're all going to die and blah, blah, blah. 0.63

00:47:38.000 Something that would make, because obviously your first thing is going to be no, but they'd have to have something on you like you're going to go to jail for 40 years and you never see your children again, right?

00:47:47.000 Somewhere where you have no, basically no choice.

00:47:50.000 You need to wear a wire.

00:47:53.000 Why not write on your forehead with Sharpie, hey Tony, the FBI got me.

00:48:02.000 I'm wearing a wire.

00:48:04.000 Yeah.

00:48:06.000 It's written on your forehead.

00:48:07.000 Hey, Tone. 1.00

00:48:08.000 How you doing?

00:48:09.000 Fuck that.

00:48:11.000 How you doing, Tone?

00:48:12.000 And he's like, this is a very difficult situation.

00:48:19.000 Like, I brought this up to a law enforcement guy and he goes, oh, by the time the FBI gets you, you're fucked.

00:48:24.000 There's no getting out.

00:48:25.000 What the fuck does that mean?

00:48:27.000 Or what if you had a code where you're like, if you come here with a wire, we'll set all this shit up.

00:48:32.000 Just come in and be like, how you doing?

00:48:35.000 Yeah.

00:48:36.000 And then talk about, you're going to steal some chapstick on Thursday.

00:48:39.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:48:40.000 Like, give me some dumb, useless bones.

00:48:42.000 That's what Whitey Bulger did.

00:48:44.000 He was an informant for the FBI, and he never gave them shit.

00:48:49.000 And after, I don't know, 10 years of them going, yeah, we're not worried about chapstick being stolen.

00:48:54.000 You don't have any murders coming?

00:48:56.000 He's like, I'm doing my best.

00:48:58.000 I'm this close to something big.

00:49:00.000 He just strung them along.

00:49:01.000 Nice.

00:49:05.000 I don't get it.

00:49:07.000 By the way, when I was looking up Nick Cage, he just got remarried to an infant.

00:49:12.000 Okay, so that's...

00:49:14.000 He got drunk in Vegas and married that chick who's damn fine.

00:49:19.000 No, I know her.

00:49:19.000 She was in Fargo.

00:49:21.000 Oh, really?

00:49:22.000 Yep.

00:49:23.000 I like the movie.

00:49:23.000 I like Asians more than most of our viewers for some reason.

00:49:27.000 I don't know.

00:49:28.000 Like, those eyes are what girls do with their makeup. 1.00

00:49:33.000 And when they have big lips and stuff.

00:49:34.000 I find if you're going to go for an Asian chick, though, you want her to have a tattoo. 1.00

00:49:37.000 Because if she doesn't have a tattoo, then she's a fob. 0.98

00:49:40.000 And if she's a fob, you're going to have cultural problems. 0.83

00:49:43.000 Like with my, with Gen X, I couldn't really get with a girl who didn't get my happy days jokes.

00:49:49.000 So if they don't know who the Fonz is, what are you doing?

00:49:51.000 And this is what I don't get about these guys who date 20-year-olds.

00:49:54.000 What the fuck do you talk about?

00:49:58.000 So he broke up with her after four days, and now he's with this other chick.

00:50:02.000 Wait, that's a different chick, that I thought. 0.94

00:50:06.000 I don't know why you went to 14C.

00:50:08.000 It was 14B I needed.

00:50:14.000 Yeah, that's her. 0.60

00:50:16.000 Dude, not only, like, she's 27.

00:50:18.000 He's 57 or something.

00:50:21.000 30 years older.

00:50:22.000 And not only is she 27, she's a very young-looking 27.

00:50:26.000 She looks like a fucking child, dude. 1.00

00:50:29.000 I don't want to ruin the movie for you.

00:50:31.000 But what are you doing?

00:50:33.000 Scroll down a bit.

00:50:34.000 Look her up.

00:50:35.000 Google image her, actually.

00:50:37.000 Riko Shibata.

00:50:39.000 Oh, and not only is she 30 years younger than you, so she won't get any of your references.

00:50:46.000 She's Japanese, dude. 0.99

00:50:48.000 Like, they don't even do humor the same as us.

00:50:52.000 Right?

00:50:53.000 No, I don't think so.

00:50:54.000 By the way, your Japanese guy is not Chinese.

00:50:58.000 Eyebrows?

00:50:59.000 I don't think he's Japan. 0.95

00:51:00.000 I've always seen him as Japanese.

00:51:02.000 He talks like your dad.

00:51:03.000 Oh.

00:51:06.000 Look at her.

00:51:09.000 She's an attractive 12-year-old.

00:51:11.000 Yeah, what the?

00:51:13.000 What the?

00:51:13.000 You know when little kids wear makeup and you go, eh?

00:51:16.000 That's what she looks like.

00:51:17.000 Yeah, that's bizarre.

00:51:19.000 She just has like swollen big hands for me. 1.00

00:51:22.000 Like, if my daughter, who's 15, brought her home and said, hey, Rico's sleeping over, I'd be like, hi, girls.

00:51:30.000 Don't stay up past one.

00:51:33.000 Try to turn the TV down.

00:51:34.000 Downstairs we can hear it through the floor.

00:51:37.000 Look at that.

00:51:39.000 Like, it's a child.

00:51:41.000 That's not a woman. 1.00

00:51:42.000 That's not like Sophia Loren is a woman. 0.98

00:51:45.000 You know, you want to like get into her folds and like get lost in her tits. 1.00

00:51:50.000 You don't want to get lost in that.

00:51:53.000 There's nothing to get lost in.

00:51:54.000 No, you want to buy her a GPS so she doesn't get lost when she goes into the city shopping At a hot topic and forever 21.

00:52:03.000 What are you doing, dude?

00:52:05.000 You fucking dummy.

00:52:07.000 I wish I could show you this: the Asian chick that I thought she was, because I think you would think she's a smoker, and you don't have to be like, oh, that's a 12-year-old. 0.99

00:52:19.000 I think my favorite nip of all time is the chick who was on that space age science fiction drama with Justin Thoreau. 0.53

00:52:28.000 She's British.

00:52:29.000 She's a ballerina. 1.00

00:52:30.000 She's a woman. 0.82

00:52:33.000 Why did I say it like that?

00:52:35.000 She's a woman. 0.82

00:52:36.000 Oh, Susan Park.

00:52:38.000 I thought this was her for some reason.

00:52:41.000 Who's Susan Park? 1.00

00:52:42.000 Yuck.

00:52:44.000 Well.

00:52:45.000 No, that looks like the woman when you go to Beijing.

00:52:47.000 She facilitates your hotel and then gives you a bus pass.

00:52:51.000 She looks like an administrator. 0.81

00:52:53.000 She's gross. 1.00

00:52:55.000 That chick's super hot. 1.00

00:52:56.000 But find the chick. 1.00

00:52:58.000 You know the Justin Thoreau thing?

00:53:01.000 I know she was on the hottest chicks of all time. 1.00

00:53:03.000 Oh, I think she was, yes.

00:53:06.000 Let's see.

00:53:08.000 Anyway, while you're digging that up.

00:53:12.000 Look at 1.6.

00:53:14.000 Speaking of guys into Asian chicks, this guy is fucking awesome. 0.82

00:53:19.000 Mad lad of the year when it comes to pussy. 0.99

00:53:22.000 This guy, I find, you're probably not going to like her, but I find his Chinese wife attractive.

00:53:28.000 But they weren't getting along.

00:53:31.000 Their marriage was falling apart.

00:53:32.000 Ex-Goldman exec takes helicopters everywhere he goes.

00:53:36.000 He's a player.

00:53:39.000 So that girl's his first wife.

00:53:40.000 You probably don't find her attractive, right?

00:53:42.000 That looks like Mao to you.

00:53:43.000 Yeah.

00:53:44.000 It does.

00:53:45.000 She's super hot. 1.00

00:53:46.000 Zingling Ping, actually.

00:53:49.000 But he likes Kimora Lee Simmons, as do I. They would call her Chinky Giraffe in high school. 0.97

00:53:56.000 They didn't call you that ever, though, did they, Ryan?

00:53:59.000 No, they didn't.

00:53:59.000 They call me Chinky.

00:54:00.000 Chinky Pygmy? 1.00

00:54:02.000 Yeah, because it's short.

00:54:04.000 So he's like, I want to get with Kimora Lee.

00:54:06.000 My marriage is falling apart.

00:54:08.000 My wife wants a divorce. 1.00

00:54:11.000 But Kimora Lee doesn't want to step on any toes. 0.99

00:54:15.000 I know.

00:54:16.000 I'll hack into my wife's email and send Kimura Lee emails that go, hey, I hear you guys are dating. 1.00

00:54:25.000 Look, that's totally so hot fire.

00:54:27.000 Don't worry about it.

00:54:28.000 You guys have a great time.

00:54:31.000 We haven't slept together in like 10 years.

00:54:34.000 So you just rock on.

00:54:35.000 So he maintained a relationship with his ex-wife and Kimora Lee that was his email.

00:54:41.000 Like, I think he started a new email account.

00:54:44.000 And this went on for years until Kimura considered her a good friend.

00:54:50.000 And she would say, hey, why don't you come on vacation with us?

00:54:53.000 You can be with the kids.

00:54:54.000 And she's like, oh, no, I'm so busy.

00:54:56.000 I got into car accidents.

00:54:58.000 I'm not going to make it, you guy.

00:55:00.000 But you have a great time.

00:55:01.000 I think you're really number one.

00:55:03.000 I'm so glad you're with my husband.

00:55:08.000 Oh, and minor detail.

00:55:09.000 He's also helping embezzle tens of millions of dollars from a Malaysian hedge fund.

00:55:16.000 Or Judy Chan. 0.98

00:55:18.000 That kind of guy.

00:55:19.000 Is that her name?

00:55:19.000 Judy Chan?

00:55:23.000 I'm not saying infidelity is cool.

00:55:25.000 Just back up a bit.

00:55:26.000 They were done.

00:55:28.000 This is the chick you're looking for.

00:55:29.000 Sonoya Muzuno.

00:55:31.000 Okay.

00:55:31.000 Yeah, see, that's not a child.

00:55:34.000 That's a woman. 1.00

00:55:35.000 That's a 10.

00:55:37.000 This is the one with the glasses?

00:55:38.000 You know what?

00:55:39.000 Like, this is what you want.

00:55:39.000 When you get older, you want to be able to fuck a girl and then go out for breakfast.

00:55:43.000 Like, that woman looks like if she had a yeast infection and you went to Paris for three days and her vagina was sealed up with pus, you'd be like, oh, well, let's have some fun. 1.00

00:55:56.000 Are we sure that's the one with the glasses?

00:55:59.000 In that movie that you like?

00:56:00.000 In the Justin Thoreau thing?

00:56:02.000 Yes.

00:56:03.000 If you see her doing ballet, yeah, that's her. 0.79

00:56:05.000 I recognize her.

00:56:07.000 There's another one.

00:56:08.000 Glasses are...

00:56:09.000 That adds a 10.1.

00:56:11.000 There's another rice ball on the list.

00:56:14.000 Oh, no.

00:56:14.000 Rosie Okamura apparently is not a rice ball.

00:56:18.000 No.

00:56:18.000 You know who's fucking ugly now?

00:56:20.000 Who that?

00:56:21.000 Jennifer Garner.

00:56:23.000 Oh, yeah.

00:56:24.000 She's always had, like, very strong features.

00:56:27.000 She was in that movie Lies with the Office Guy. 0.97

00:56:34.000 Some of the complaints will be lies.

00:56:35.000 Ricky Jevins.

00:56:36.000 Ricky Gevines.

00:56:37.000 The invention of Lawrence.

00:56:38.000 She played the most beautiful woman in the world, right?

00:56:41.000 And it was totally believable because she was.

00:56:44.000 Now, she's a two. 1.00

00:56:47.000 You know what?

00:56:48.000 We were watching Ocean's 11 and Julia Roberts, very beautiful.

00:56:55.000 Very beautiful.

00:56:56.000 Look up Jennifer Garner Charity Homeless. 1.00

00:57:00.000 And you'll see a one.

00:57:01.000 Charity Homeless.

00:57:03.000 Ladies, you're not pretty forever. 1.00

00:57:06.000 Get a ring on it.

00:57:08.000 Here's what I keep screaming, ladies, if you're watching. 1.00

00:57:11.000 At 25, stop fucking everything that moves and look at this guy and say, is this a good investment for me?

00:57:20.000 If he's a musician, dump his ass.

00:57:22.000 He's going to cheat on you.

00:57:24.000 If he's a DJ, dump his ass.

00:57:25.000 He's going to cheat on you.

00:57:26.000 If he's a photographer, dump his ass.

00:57:29.000 He's going to cheat on you.

00:57:30.000 Very simple.

00:57:31.000 Those guys are not reliable.

00:57:32.000 Sorry, dudes.

00:57:33.000 I'm breaking the bro code here.

00:57:36.000 And guys, you got laid.

00:57:39.000 The kids today are getting laid at like 14, 15.

00:57:42.000 All right.

00:57:42.000 You got laid.

00:57:43.000 You fucked a bunch of different jigs.

00:57:45.000 You've noticed the vaginas, not that much variety. 1.00

00:57:48.000 It's not like there's big ones, small ones.

00:57:50.000 They're all pretty much the same.

00:57:51.000 Boobies, meh, one worry.

00:57:53.000 They're all pretty similar.

00:57:55.000 You know now if you're an ass man, whatever.

00:58:01.000 Propose.

00:58:03.000 Get a ring on it.

00:58:04.000 I always say to these guys, what are you waiting for?

00:58:05.000 Herb with bigger tits? 1.00

00:58:07.000 Fucking grow up.

00:58:09.000 So this is, it's sad because she was very prominent in Ocean's 11, Julie Roberts.

00:58:16.000 She's pretty, right?

00:58:17.000 There's some prettiness.

00:58:19.000 And then you go to Ocean's 12, and my wife turns to me, she's like, wow, she got old.

00:58:24.000 That's so sad.

00:58:25.000 And she is not a main character in the movie any longer.

00:58:28.000 For sure.

00:58:29.000 Yeah, they just like, they see her like in the beginning, and she's like, honey, hide.

00:58:35.000 And then she's like, I'm going to look like Steve Tyler somewhere else.

00:58:38.000 And she hides.

00:58:39.000 And then, I mean, on the one hand, you go, It must be fucking weird to be beautiful your whole life, and then one day you're not.

00:58:46.000 But on the other hand, you knew it was coming, right?

00:58:48.000 Yeah, and they replace her with Catherine Zeta Bones. 1.00

00:58:52.000 Oh, she looks great.

00:58:54.000 And then she probably ages and Ocean's 13, and then she's gone.

00:58:58.000 She's old as shit, Catherine Zeta Jones. 0.78

00:59:00.000 What is she looking like these days? 0.99

00:59:03.000 With her toxic vagina that gives men cancer. 1.00

00:59:09.000 Of course, my co-host is referring to what's his name, who has Michael Douglas.

00:59:15.000 Michael Douglas has esophagal cancer, and they say it could be linked to venereal warts that were on her pussy.

00:59:24.000 To which Michael Douglas said it was worth it.

00:59:27.000 Uh-oh.

00:59:28.000 Whoa.

00:59:29.000 Oh, no.

00:59:31.000 Wow.

00:59:33.000 So I don't know what we were seeing in that previous picture, but whatever.

00:59:39.000 Everyone ages.

00:59:40.000 Like, I don't want to be, I hate this whole, like, uh-oh, what happened to her?

00:59:43.000 She should be hot. 1.00

00:59:44.000 Yeah, everyone ages.

00:59:45.000 They always said that about fucking Carrie Bradshaw. 1.00

00:59:49.000 Whoa, she looks way shittier than she did when she was 18 in Star Wars in 1982. 0.99

00:59:55.000 Yeah, that happens.

00:59:58.000 What kind of creepy world would it be if that didn't happen?

01:00:01.000 True.

01:00:02.000 All right, let's hit the mail B. Right?

01:00:09.000 It's been like an hour.

01:00:10.000 Shut up, you don't have a dead. 0.91

01:00:14.000 Let's turn our eyes together.

01:00:20.000 Let me touch it.

01:00:30.000 Well, we're waiting.

01:00:33.000 Sorry.

01:00:34.000 My phone was charging because I didn't sleep in my bed last night because my youngest kid was in my bed.

01:00:42.000 Which is, it's kind of a weird thing, too, because I would come in the bedroom.

01:00:45.000 He's all splayed out.

01:00:46.000 He's getting big now.

01:00:47.000 He's nine.

01:00:49.000 And my wife was there.

01:00:50.000 She's kind of snoring.

01:00:51.000 And I'm like, I could fight for my sliver or I could just sleep in his bed.

01:00:56.000 But then part of me is like, is this some weird kind of like caveman alpha thing where the young pup is kicking the alpha out of his cave?

01:01:09.000 Is this a good message to send?

01:01:13.000 So anyway, that's why my phone was charging, but I got to show you this picture of Jennifer Garner.

01:01:19.000 It's shocking.

01:01:20.000 Tell me, love.

01:01:21.000 Tell me, sweet little.

01:01:23.000 It's hard to be a feminist, which I am, and then also be a petty little bitch and say, she's not hot. 1.00

01:01:30.000 But they have one job.

01:01:32.000 It's to look good.

01:01:33.000 Well, you know what Jennifer Anniston's secret is.

01:01:36.000 She takes sleeping pills and she sleeps like 12 hours a night.

01:01:43.000 She looks pretty good there.

01:01:44.000 That's one she's releasing.

01:01:46.000 The one I sent you is a fucking screen grab from a video.

01:01:56.000 Okay.

01:01:58.000 This guy's emailed me several times with this quote.

01:02:01.000 He's very happy with this quote.

01:02:04.000 And his quote is...

01:02:06.000 Here we go.

01:02:06.000 There we go.

01:02:07.000 Look at that.

01:02:08.000 Isn't that a nice granny? 1.00

01:02:11.000 That looks like my granny. 1.00

01:02:13.000 Nice tranny granny. 1.00

01:02:15.000 Oh my God, we're going to have tranny grannies soon. 1.00

01:02:17.000 Yeah, true.

01:02:18.000 Well, tranny granny. 0.97

01:02:20.000 Judging by the suicide rates, there's not going to be a lot of tranny grannies, but there'll be a few. 1.00

01:02:24.000 Well, that's why I've always said bisexualism is a lie because there's not a lot of old bisexuals just gardening. 1.00

01:02:34.000 I was recommending Censored TV to a friend and found my last line of the description of what you guys offer to be worth sharing.

01:02:42.000 Here's his sentence.

01:02:44.000 It's a shot of whiskey in a world in love with powder puff idiocy.

01:02:50.000 Okay, let me just fix your sentence there because in love adds too many ribbons to a painting that is already putrefied.

01:03:02.000 What?

01:03:03.000 You should say it's a shot of whiskey in a world of powder puff idiocy.

01:03:12.000 Anyway, that guy wanted us to make sure we read that.

01:03:19.000 Here is an article someone or a video where someone says proud boys are compared to Ukraine Nazis.

01:03:27.000 Okay.

01:03:30.000 I bet that's by a smart person.

01:03:37.000 Why does Russia think there's Nazis in Ukraine?

01:03:39.000 So back in 2014, pro-Russian separatists seized government buildings in the Donbass region of Ukraine.

01:03:45.000 Russia took advantage of this chaos by flooding volunteers and weapons into that region.

01:03:50.000 Some civilians formed militias of their own and fought the separatists.

01:03:53.000 And one of those units was kind of like the Ukrainian equivalent of the Proud Boys or the Klu Klux Klan.

01:03:58.000 I mean, look at that battalion flag.

01:04:01.000 That's not a good look.

01:04:02.000 This battalion fought bravely, but they also tortured some separatists and they have a pretty extreme ideology.

01:04:07.000 But Ukraine integrated this unit into their army because the Ukrainian Constitution guarantees freedom of speech.

01:04:13.000 Look at this guy.

01:04:14.000 He's got his whole setup, his whole little media room, and he's so shitty at his job that he thinks the KKK, Proud Boys, and Ukrainian white nationalists are all the same.

01:04:25.000 You're a fucking amateur, Ryan Macbeth.

01:04:29.000 Beta.

01:04:30.000 Beta! 0.86

01:04:31.000 Even speech, you or I might not agree with.

01:04:33.000 Like, I don't mind when some old lady says something dumb like that, and it's not her area of expertise, but look at him.

01:04:39.000 He's got all his monitors everywhere and his little Zoom camera light and all this shit, all this equipment.

01:04:46.000 So he's clearly dedicating a lot of time to it, and he sucks that bad.

01:04:50.000 He looks like if Paul Basile wasn't cool.

01:04:54.000 Which Paul Basil?

01:05:01.000 So wait, he's defending freedom of speech.

01:05:04.000 I'd love to see his takes on freedom of speech no matter what in America.

01:05:09.000 Well, I tell you what.

01:05:11.000 Does he think Proud Bush should be Johnny Leber guy?

01:05:14.000 I mean, I want freedom of speech, but if something needs to get banned, he's pretty rough.

01:05:19.000 That's pushing the boundaries of free speech.

01:05:23.000 I'm not sure I would allow it in my country.

01:05:26.000 Here's a shitty rap music video.

01:05:27.000 No, let's do something here.

01:05:29.000 We get a lot of good Ukraine letters, and I'm at the point now where I prefer reader mail to find out what's going on in Ukraine than to the media.

01:05:44.000 So here's the one I was talking about earlier.

01:05:46.000 It's called, for your sake, Ryan, Russia-Ukraine War.

01:05:51.000 High returds.

01:05:53.000 I presume he's calling Ryan and I retards.

01:05:55.000 Ouch.

01:05:56.000 Which hurts.

01:05:57.000 By the way, cannot say enough about when someone says they retired, you go, he's not retarded. 0.96

01:06:03.000 He's a smart guy.

01:06:04.000 I've done that joke once a day my entire life.

01:06:07.000 Every time I hear the word retired, it always gets a laugh.

01:06:11.000 It is always a smash hit.

01:06:14.000 And then here's another little side tangent.

01:06:17.000 We were driving back from this big boxing match in Brooklyn that had our gym and a bunch of other gyms all competing, and it was a really fun afternoon.

01:06:25.000 And I'm with the owner.

01:06:26.000 I'm driving him to a bar.

01:06:27.000 And he's in the passenger seat.

01:06:29.000 And I just started fucking ripping, screeching around corners.

01:06:33.000 And he was panicking.

01:06:36.000 He's holding on to the little side things.

01:06:37.000 I'm going, what the fuck?

01:06:38.000 What the fuck?

01:06:39.000 His ass is off the seat.

01:06:41.000 He goes, I'm getting out.

01:06:42.000 I'm getting out.

01:06:42.000 Next time you stop, I'm getting out.

01:06:44.000 This fuck, stop.

01:06:45.000 Stop screaming.

01:06:46.000 Stop holding on to the dash.

01:06:48.000 And I go, I go, laughing, remembering it.

01:06:51.000 I go, we're not stopping, dude.

01:06:53.000 You're never getting out.

01:06:55.000 And I'm going through stop signs and stuff.

01:06:57.000 He's screaming hysterically.

01:06:59.000 I realized that I had never laughed or hadn't laughed that hard in like years.

01:07:06.000 And I realized the three things that make me die the most, like belly laughs where it's just euphoria, like endorphins, driving like a lunatic and scaring your passenger.

01:07:19.000 Watching your friend barf.

01:07:22.000 And then third, having a fart so bad that it makes your friend dry heave and have to leave the room.

01:07:28.000 But not just leave the room.

01:07:29.000 He has to suffer.

01:07:32.000 Yeah.

01:07:33.000 It's not a joke.

01:07:37.000 I'm a Ukrainian baby monster. 1.00

01:07:40.000 Love you and the show.

01:07:40.000 I've been with you since Spotify podcast, where you basically retold the death of cool.

01:07:44.000 Your take on the war is retarded. 0.98

01:07:47.000 There are no Nazis in Ukraine.

01:07:49.000 Basically the same as the U.S. We're very friendly people and share a lot of Western values.

01:07:53.000 Here is a fraction of an archive of war moments I've been collecting for the last 12 to 13 days.

01:08:00.000 This is a real war, Gavin.

01:08:02.000 Small cities are being destroyed.

01:08:04.000 Russians are killing civilians indiscriminately and are committing war crimes on a daily basis. 0.69

01:08:10.000 There was not nearly the same amount of destruction in eight years of fighting rebels in Donbass.

01:08:15.000 Also, most of the top brass in Donbass are Russian puppets that came there around when the conflict started in 2014. 0.86

01:08:22.000 The referendum for the independence was fake.

01:08:25.000 Yes, there are ethnic Russians.

01:08:27.000 No, they were never oppressed by the government.

01:08:30.000 If you want, I can send you the whole archive.

01:08:32.000 Also, I recommend following those channels on Telegram for accurate, unbiased reporting by independent journalists.

01:08:39.000 I like your new sunglasses.

01:08:41.000 Alexi.

01:08:43.000 I don't know if we ever said that there weren't atrocities happening.

01:08:47.000 It's just like what the narrative was, was a little sketchy.

01:08:51.000 Right?

01:08:52.000 Like if somebody specifically said about 70% of the war is fake, 30% is real. 0.54

01:09:00.000 He's saying, no, 98% is real.

01:09:04.000 But Brian, why don't you have the videos mounted?

01:09:05.000 I got them.

01:09:07.000 So what do we got here?

01:09:09.000 Not safe for work.

01:09:10.000 And SFW, this looks like cadavers.

01:09:14.000 Oh, my God.

01:09:17.000 Okay, next.

01:09:19.000 That's horrific.

01:09:19.000 I can't believe we just showed that.

01:09:26.000 It is horrific, but your response is...

01:09:30.000 Laughing, running over cadavers.

01:09:32.000 Jesus.

01:09:34.000 More blood.

01:09:36.000 Explosion.

01:09:43.000 More bodies and death.

01:09:48.000 Next.

01:09:52.000 Isn't it amazing how, like, in the Bosnian War, you had Serbians and Croats, Muslims and Christians that were neighbors whose kids were playing together last week, just murdering each other? 0.95

01:10:04.000 It's amazing how it just turns us into animals instantly.

01:10:06.000 Is that just a boot with a leg?

01:10:08.000 Oh, it sure is.

01:10:10.000 Oh, my God.

01:10:15.000 NSFW.

01:10:24.000 Where do you run?

01:10:28.000 Maybe you run to the spot where the bomb just hit.

01:10:39.000 There's going to be a boom.

01:10:47.000 And those are residential complexes.

01:11:04.000 I don't know.

01:11:05.000 It's weird.

01:11:05.000 I talk to people who know what they're doing and are well connected in the military and even in European political spheres, and they are really scared.

01:11:18.000 I'm not remotely scared.

01:11:21.000 Yeah, people have been buying, what is it, sodium iodide?

01:11:27.000 So they chained a man to a post until he froze to death, I guess.

01:11:32.000 potassium iodide, people buying for nuclear fallout.

01:11:37.000 And now packs of that that are going for 14 are now selling on eBay for like $140.

01:11:47.000 He's not really showing us the telegrams we're supposed to follow.

01:11:50.000 I don't see any names except for that one.

01:11:54.000 The people of any country are never always innocent.

01:11:58.000 They're not complicit in these things that are happening here.

01:12:01.000 But like if somebody went to war with America, they would have an argument.

01:12:07.000 I guess the big picture here is I don't care.

01:12:09.000 I'm sorry.

01:12:11.000 I don't.

01:12:12.000 The West is the best, and I've never really given a shit about anything outside of the West.

01:12:16.000 I don't have room.

01:12:17.000 I don't have enough cares.

01:12:20.000 And I don't believe a lot of people when they say they care.

01:12:24.000 I don't believe them.

01:12:27.000 When they see a mudslide in Sri Lanka and they start bawling, no, you don't really give a shit.

01:12:32.000 I'll ask you about it in two days and you won't know what I'm talking about.

01:12:35.000 Okay, so here's another angle.

01:12:38.000 Now, this guy is in Texas, not Ukraine.

01:12:40.000 So I think I take the first guy's letter more seriously than this.

01:12:45.000 But he goes, looks like the majority of the war, it's called Another Day, Another Media scam.

01:12:49.000 Looks like the majority of the war in Ukraine is just theater, like the COVID scam.

01:13:00.000 So this guy went down there.

01:13:02.000 Don't get hand tattoos, people.

01:13:06.000 Maddie Odell can pull it off. 0.99

01:13:08.000 That's about it.

01:13:17.000 Okay, so skip ahead.

01:13:18.000 I've already watched this.

01:13:19.000 This guy goes in to Poland, and then he is able to get to Kiev from Poland.

01:13:26.000 And his contention is that there's nothing going on.

01:13:29.000 It's just a lot of media and actors.

01:13:40.000 I don't know.

01:13:45.000 All right, that's enough, Ukraine.

01:13:47.000 Boring.

01:13:50.000 There's props and stuff.

01:13:51.000 I don't know.

01:13:54.000 I'm not so big on discrediting the actual thing happening.

01:13:58.000 It's just, you know, it's really suspicious when you see Pelosi with a Ukrainian flag.

01:14:03.000 It makes you think twice.

01:14:05.000 Yeah.

01:14:06.000 Yeah.

01:14:06.000 Sometimes I judge things by the people involved.

01:14:09.000 Like, the one thing I loved about Trump was his fans way more than him.

01:14:13.000 And the thing that's making me uneasy about Ukraine is their fans. 0.70

01:14:17.000 I mean, Zelensky is a Russian folk hero who made his hundreds of millions by doing Russian comedy to Russians.

01:14:27.000 How is he not a Russian oligarch?

01:14:32.000 Hey, Gav, this is the last one.

01:14:34.000 It's called About to Dump a Girl. 0.96

01:14:35.000 Kind of like About a Boy.

01:14:38.000 Hey, Gav, I'm about to break up with a girl I've known for over a year and been dating for six months.

01:14:42.000 Should I just invite her over and break up with her out of the blue? 1.00

01:14:44.000 Or should I tell her we need to talk?

01:14:45.000 Can you come over?

01:14:46.000 So she has a hint of what's going on before I do it in person.

01:14:49.000 The reason I'm dumping her is I have zero sexual attraction to her anymore, and the emotional attachment isn't strong either.

01:14:55.000 Okay, it doesn't sound like we can salvage this.

01:14:59.000 This was my attitude back in my single days.

01:15:03.000 People work in the sewers.

01:15:05.000 People go to war.

01:15:07.000 You can sit down and have a shitty five-hour conversation with someone.

01:15:12.000 If you're firing someone, it's best to make it short and sweet.

01:15:15.000 No, we're not fixing it.

01:15:16.000 No, I'm not kidding.

01:15:17.000 Yes, you'll get severance.

01:15:18.000 It's not working out.

01:15:19.000 Goodbye.

01:15:21.000 But this girl sucked your cock. 1.00

01:15:25.000 So you owe it to her to sit down, let her cry.

01:15:30.000 Sorry.

01:15:31.000 The same goes for chicks, by the way. 0.97

01:15:33.000 Although, if I was to talk to a guy about getting dumped, I would say the second she says, look, I just feel that we need, walk out.

01:15:43.000 The second they go, well, I want to get her back.

01:15:47.000 Okay, you're not getting her back, but if there is a snowball's chance in hell of you getting her back, it's not going to be from you sitting there and crying and pleading your case.

01:15:55.000 It's going to be you going, whatever, fuck you, leaving and then seeing her at a party in two months.

01:16:00.000 Now, there's also the relationships where they fake dump, she fake dumps him, and then she's crying at a party weeks later saying, why didn't you fight for me?

01:16:10.000 And I see that in marriage a lot, where the woman is like, we need to get a divorce, and it's kind of a weird bluff, and then it snowballs out of control. 0.98

01:16:16.000 That's not what this is.

01:16:19.000 This is a guy who definitely is not into this girl.

01:16:22.000 Why marry her?

01:16:23.000 It's going to be a waste of your life.

01:16:25.000 But she's done a lot for you.

01:16:26.000 You guys have had a connection.

01:16:28.000 And it's your obligation to sit there for up to five hours.

01:16:33.000 But maybe you'll get it out in three and sit there and say, I'm sorry, it's not there.

01:16:38.000 I don't know what happened.

01:16:39.000 It's not you.

01:16:40.000 You didn't do anything wrong.

01:16:42.000 Even if she did, don't say that.

01:16:45.000 That she did anything wrong.

01:16:46.000 And just wait it out.

01:16:48.000 I knew a guy once, he was really nervous about dumping this girl, so he did heroin first.

01:16:54.000 He was a junkie.

01:16:55.000 He's the guy who said, I like your new sunglasses.

01:16:58.000 It comes full circle.

01:17:01.000 And he was so chilled out that she was sitting on the couch and he was lying perpendicular with his legs on her lap.

01:17:10.000 Oh, my God.

01:17:10.000 And he's just like, yeah, this isn't working out.

01:17:14.000 I don't want to be with you anymore at all in any capacity whatsoever.

01:17:20.000 I mean, get your fucking legs off of me. 1.00

01:17:22.000 Yeah, dick.

01:17:24.000 We could do this.

01:17:25.000 Sure.

01:17:25.000 Absolutely.

01:17:26.000 My lady is in distress, and I'm here to rescue her.

01:17:30.000 Thanks.

01:17:31.000 They say chivalry's dead, but I think you're making a pretty strong case for its revival.

01:17:36.000 Well, I'm always ready to help a beautiful lady. 1.00

01:17:39.000 I help the ugly ones as well, but I'd definitely say you're in the former camp.

01:17:44.000 Where am I taking this?

01:17:45.000 Well, it's only a few streets away.

01:17:47.000 I'm moving in with my boyfriend, Ian.

01:17:52.000 Wait, there's more.

01:17:53.000 There's so much more.

01:17:55.000 That one's great, too.

01:17:56.000 Let me take these two tones.

01:17:58.000 Thank you, handsome.

01:18:00.000 the gym and tonic's for my sister Ruth.

01:18:02.000 Okay.

01:18:03.000 This one is for Stacey.

01:18:04.000 Hello.

01:18:04.000 And if you could hand this on to my boyfriend.

01:18:06.000 Fuck you.

01:18:09.000 He doesn't even leave.

01:18:13.000 Fuck you.

01:18:15.000 This is my least favourite.

01:18:20.000 No, we gotta show it now.

01:18:25.000 This guy is so fucking talented.

01:18:27.000 He's in what we do in the shadows.

01:18:29.000 In the shadows.

01:18:30.000 My daughter and my favorite show.

01:18:33.000 It's Rupert.

01:18:34.000 Look, on the horse.

01:18:37.000 Yo-hoo! 1.00

01:18:39.000 Hello!

01:18:40.000 A friend of yours, I presume?

01:18:42.000 My fiancé.

01:18:45.000 Fuck you! 0.99

01:18:51.000 Fuck you! 0.99

01:18:52.000 Wait, I gotta see them all.

01:18:53.000 Oh, God.

01:18:54.000 Yes, I needed a shorter lead.

01:18:57.000 Oh, the dog one is probably the best.

01:18:59.000 I like the plant, too.

01:19:01.000 Well, it has been somewhere.

01:19:02.000 How many comes in threes and fives?

01:19:04.000 Never a gentleman.

01:19:06.000 Can I accompany you in your journey?

01:19:08.000 Sure.

01:19:09.000 I've got to get scruffy back to my boyfriend and then fuck you. 1.00

01:19:18.000 Gentleman.

01:19:18.000 Never a gentleman.

01:19:21.000 Can I accompany you in your journey?

01:19:23.000 Sure.

01:19:24.000 I've got to get scruffy back to my boyfriend and then fuck you. 1.00

01:19:33.000 Such a good kick.

01:19:35.000 She needs to be in the NFL. 1.00

01:19:37.000 Yeah, he was special teams for sure.

01:19:40.000 Wait, don't skip around.

01:19:41.000 What are you doing?

01:19:41.000 Go back to her.

01:19:53.000 I know so.

01:19:55.000 See you what my boyfriend was saying the other day.

01:19:57.000 Fuck you.

01:20:02.000 Am I happy with that?

01:20:04.000 So.

01:20:05.000 Alright, let's get to the final video.

01:20:08.000 That gave me a headache.

01:20:09.000 It was so funny.

01:20:10.000 The dog wouldn't, my God.

01:20:27.000 Um, let's do 3-8.

01:20:30.000 This is some assholes on your lawn.

01:20:33.000 He won't get off your property.

01:20:36.000 And he thinks, because he's big, he's a psycho.

01:20:40.000 And you're scared of him.

01:20:42.000 My lips just look like a distended anus. 0.91

01:20:45.000 Look like I have lipstick on.

01:20:47.000 Yeah, a little bit.

01:20:49.000 Hi, boys.

01:20:50.000 That wouldn't have gone well with your look yesterday.

01:20:53.000 My rock and roll look?

01:20:55.000 No, the black face look.

01:20:57.000 And then you with the red lips today?

01:20:59.000 What do I do?

01:21:00.000 I gotta just return those gloves?

01:21:02.000 Yeah, they're shiny.

01:21:03.000 I'm sick of this Chinese shit where they don't care about the product. 1.00

01:21:07.000 Like, there's no craftsman in there.

01:21:08.000 That's just like, oh, then they return 40% and they only return 4%.

01:21:14.000 So we make a profit still.

01:21:15.000 We make garbage and then we change a factory and we move.

01:21:18.000 There's no like love in that country.

01:21:22.000 So they just make garbage knowing that some people are going to be too lazy to send it back.

01:21:26.000 They were like 40 bucks, I think.

01:21:29.000 And then I got this shit to soundproof the door, right?

01:21:32.000 Again, from China. 0.88

01:21:34.000 And it's on Amazon, it's got these white foam things with the little studs on them, you know what I mean?

01:21:40.000 Like we had at the old studio.

01:21:42.000 I get this shit.

01:21:44.000 It's like felt and it's black.

01:21:46.000 The studio's white.

01:21:48.000 And it says, all you have to do is put it in a bathtub, wash it, and then you dry it in a dryer.

01:21:56.000 I did that.

01:21:57.000 It's still exactly.

01:21:58.000 It didn't magically turn into what is in the magazine or on the website.

01:22:02.000 And it's black, not white.

01:22:04.000 I mean, I'm going to repack it and send it back to China now?

01:22:09.000 Or maybe I'll just suffer.

01:22:10.000 That's the kind of shit world we live in.

01:22:12.000 And I'm embarrassed to say I care more about that than Ukraine.

01:22:17.000 Because it's literally on your doorstep.

01:22:19.000 I would rather the Lincoln Project had a 50-foot flag that said, hey, China, stop making shit. 0.97

01:22:25.000 Amazon is so guilty of that.

01:22:27.000 Yeah, I got this thing to hold my phone.

01:22:29.000 So when I stream guitar stuff, it just like height, like head height.

01:22:33.000 And it's like, it says three feet.

01:22:36.000 It goes this high.

01:22:37.000 That's as high as it goes.

01:22:39.000 That's just false.

01:22:40.000 Three feet if it's on a table.

01:22:42.000 Yeah.

01:22:42.000 That's two and a half feet.

01:22:44.000 Yeah.

01:22:44.000 It was crazy.

01:22:45.000 The only thing worse than Amazon is Instagram ads where you go, that seems kind of cool.

01:22:52.000 And then you buy it because you're drunk and you get this shirt back that's made of cellophane.

01:22:57.000 100% of the shit that's on Instagram is total and utter garbage.

01:23:02.000 It always sucks.

01:23:04.000 I fell for a lot of those.

01:23:06.000 Me too.

01:23:07.000 And then one thing I try to do to try to trick them, the algorithms, is I'll take a picture of it and then go look it up on my own.

01:23:16.000 But how many times have you been talking about something and ads appear on your fucking feed and you never looked up anything? 0.77

01:23:24.000 Computer, are you listening to me?

01:23:50.000 Yeah, this thing definitely listens to me.

01:23:52.000 I mean, hey, computer, should you knock out someone if they're on your property?

01:23:59.000 I don't know that.

01:24:01.000 That's a tough one.

01:24:01.000 Well, let's see what happens in Australia.

01:24:04.000 Gadai Gadai.

01:24:07.000 Can you please leave?

01:24:08.000 See you alive?

01:24:10.000 Hey, do it yourself.

01:24:14.000 Oh, there.

01:24:16.000 Is that fucking better?

01:24:17.000 Is that better?

01:24:19.000 Oh, it's a cleaner off.

01:24:20.000 Thank you.

01:24:21.000 I don't want to shake your hand.

01:24:23.000 You're going to fuck me off.

01:24:25.000 Do it.

01:24:25.000 Make sure it's on video too.

01:24:27.000 Yeah, I got it all.

01:24:28.000 Got your face in it and everything.

01:24:31.000 You come near me and look the fuck out.

01:24:33.000 Don't fucking touch him.

01:24:34.000 Don't walk over to me.

01:24:36.000 Get out of my yard.

01:24:37.000 I'm a tough guy.

01:24:43.000 We may have to watch this 650 times.

01:24:46.000 Get out of my yard.

01:24:48.000 Don't think he head-butted him.

01:24:52.000 No.

01:24:53.000 I think he did a move I've never seen in my life.

01:24:56.000 I think he put his left hand onto the guy's face.

01:24:59.000 And brought it up.

01:25:00.000 And then gave him a right.

01:25:01.000 Yeah.

01:25:02.000 Looks like it.

01:25:03.000 That's a new one.

01:25:07.000 Yeah, that's pretty cool.

01:25:09.000 Like, your head's not going to go nowhere, sir.

01:25:12.000 And I think you could hear him snoring right afterwards.

01:25:14.000 Yeah.

01:25:19.000 I told y'all to fuck y'all. 1.00

01:25:21.000 Do you remember when we were in that fight with JL and I was pounding him after he knocked me out?

01:25:27.000 Yes.

01:25:28.000 Was my wife licking my ear? 1.00

01:25:31.000 It started at your ear, went down your neck, and onto your chest.

01:25:34.000 Shut up. 0.95

01:25:36.000 She was super horny, wasn't she? 0.99

01:25:38.000 Yeah, it looked like an action movie when the chick is like, the guy's got his shirt off and she's like fixing his wounds. 1.00

01:25:45.000 That guy's getting what happened.

01:25:46.000 And she's like, I know.

01:25:48.000 She was in a robe and she was like, it was crazy because.

01:25:50.000 And there's blood everywhere.

01:25:52.000 Like any woman who owns a home and cares for a home is like, this is a problem. 1.00

01:25:56.000 Let's start swiffering immediately. 1.00

01:25:59.000 The next day, I was mopping the blood in the front room.

01:26:02.000 And my littlest one, who was much younger then, goes, what are you doing, Dad?

01:26:06.000 What is that?

01:26:06.000 I go, oh, that's JL's blood because he started a fight with us and we beat him up.

01:26:14.000 Sorry.

01:26:15.000 Remember when your other son poked his head out the window?

01:26:17.000 You're like, what do you guys, did he say gun?

01:26:20.000 And you're like, go to bed.

01:26:21.000 And he's like, sure, I'll go to bed.

01:26:26.000 Yeah.

01:26:27.000 Isn't that kind of funny?

01:26:28.000 Like, every time I come over, it was like Christmas.

01:26:30.000 I'm like, I wonder if they still remember like, oh, that's fucking Uncle Ryan, the guy who murdered a guy.

01:26:35.000 I don't know.

01:26:36.000 Because kids change so much.

01:26:38.000 You know, my phone keeps sending me pictures of my kids even three years ago, and especially with my eldest boy, completely different person.

01:26:47.000 Right.

01:26:47.000 Different.

01:26:48.000 And then when you go really young, like two, three, they have a totally different voice, different interests.

01:26:53.000 And so in a weird way, you're looking at a dead kid.

01:26:57.000 Yeah.

01:26:57.000 Because that kid, his voice is gone.

01:27:00.000 Like, he doesn't like those things anymore.

01:27:02.000 He doesn't remember the inside jokes that you had when you were that age with him.

01:27:07.000 You know, I asked him.

01:27:09.000 I was driving him to the airport.

01:27:11.000 Which one?

01:27:12.000 You guys?

01:27:13.000 Your oldest boy.

01:27:15.000 And I was like, you know, he's on his phone and I'm driving.

01:27:20.000 And I'm like, hey, remember that time me and your dad beat that guy up?

01:27:25.000 And he was like, yeah.

01:27:26.000 I was like, it's pretty crazy, right?

01:27:28.000 He's like, yeah.

01:27:32.000 Seems like you don't remember it as much as I do.

01:27:34.000 Fucking teens.

01:27:37.000 All right, that's it for the show.

01:27:39.000 Tomorrow we are with Anthony Cumia.

01:27:42.000 Thursdays we're live.

01:27:43.000 We're supposed to have Crip Daddy today and yesterday, but he says he has AIDS, which I guess means he's sick.

01:27:50.000 This is the problem with our whackpackers. 0.95

01:27:52.000 They're all sick.

01:27:54.000 Maddie's got a shitty heart. 1.00

01:27:55.000 He's in and out of the hospital.

01:27:57.000 Sylvia will probably not be here on Thursday.

01:28:00.000 She fell and maybe broke her hip. 0.94

01:28:02.000 They're not sure yet.

01:28:03.000 She's in the hospital right now.

01:28:06.000 That's terrible that.

01:28:07.000 That's terrible that.

01:28:09.000 She goes, tell Gavin I'm going to be there on Thursday.

01:28:12.000 No, you're not.

01:28:13.000 You're in the hospital.

01:28:14.000 You might need hip replacement surgery.

01:28:17.000 But I was kind of worried that her friends and her relatives would want to kick my ass because they thought we're exploiting her, but they love it.

01:28:24.000 They go, thank you for understanding Sylvia's unique brand of humor.

01:28:28.000 Yeah, she's not reluctant to be the center of the stage.

01:28:32.000 Yeah.

01:28:33.000 She's exploiting us. 1.00

01:28:36.000 She's exploiting you, Owen Benjamin?

01:28:37.000 She's exploiting us, dude. 1.00

01:28:41.000 Sylvia.

01:28:41.000 Old Bear.

01:28:42.000 Old Bear.

01:28:44.000 She calls herself an American slut. 1.00

01:28:45.000 She's an American slut bear. 1.00

01:28:47.000 Yeah.

01:28:49.000 Woman of the night bear.

01:28:50.000 These pocket skirts are sick.

01:28:52.000 All right.

01:28:52.000 So that's the show, folks.

01:28:55.000 Get fired.

01:28:56.000 Get in trouble.

01:28:57.000 Be brave.

01:28:58.000 And never stop fighting.

01:29:08.000 Wiggle, wiggle, tear and rise.

01:29:10.000 Yellow face and the sandy eyes.

01:29:12.000 Crooked hose and the crooked nose. 1.00

01:29:15.000 That's the way a wiggle goes.

01:29:18.000 That's how he goes.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - March 15, 2022

S4E97 - JOHNNY LEBER

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript