Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S4E98

00:01:02.000 That was Sorry for the Mess, I believe from the album Sorry for the Mess by the Saints of 35th Street.

00:01:11.000 I think they're a New York band that moved to Dallas.

00:01:16.000 Great band.

00:01:18.000 Fans of the show.

00:01:19.000 Donated to Joe Biggs.

00:01:22.000 And they kind of remind me of Stiff Little Fingers.

00:01:26.000 That song Straw Dogs.

00:01:28.000 Dogs of Straw.

00:01:30.000 Very anthemic, which is always good to see.

00:01:32.000 You don't really get that much here in New York, in America.

00:01:37.000 That's more of a British thing.

00:01:38.000 Great band.

00:01:39.000 Good stuff.

00:01:41.000 Speaking of Joe Biggs, I wasn't blown away with what we raised.

00:01:46.000 We raised $650 with the live streams and $2,100 on the Give, Send, Go.

00:01:55.000 So I think we should give it another week.

00:01:58.000 But this is a guy who's raising his daughter, single dad, totally fucked over by the Jan 6 crew.

00:02:07.000 They want to take it to the Supreme Court.

00:02:08.000 They want to make this a big deal.

00:02:10.000 He didn't break anything.

00:02:13.000 Doors open, everyone screaming, running around.

00:02:16.000 Yeah, he shouldn't have gone in.

00:02:18.000 You're right.

00:02:19.000 Let's give this guy, let's throw the book at him.

00:02:22.000 I want him to pay over $300.

00:02:26.000 And what should we do for jail time?

00:02:29.000 He should spend the night in the local jail.

00:02:32.000 No, that seems a bit rich.

00:02:33.000 Well, he pissed all over the place.

00:02:35.000 He went there, pissed on it.

00:02:37.000 No, no, he went in there and used the fucking bathroom, the men's.

00:02:41.000 He stayed within the velvet ropes.

00:02:43.000 This is not an insurrectionist, but he's been away from his daughter for a year and not just locked up, but locked in the shoe, solitary confinement.

00:02:55.000 This was a regular contributor to our network, if you recall.

00:03:00.000 He had a show on this network.

00:03:05.000 He also worked at InfoWars.

00:03:06.000 Another little piece of info about Joe Biggs.

00:03:09.000 He has a purple heart.

00:03:11.000 He was in a Humvee that blew up.

00:03:15.000 He saw his pen in slow motion as the Humvee spun through the air and went 360.

00:03:21.000 He was staring at his pen in slow motion.

00:03:25.000 This is a man who fought for us, was willing to die for us, because after 9-11, he was a changed man.

00:03:34.000 And what do we do?

00:03:36.000 Oh, well, fuck you.

00:03:37.000 Shouldn't have done that.

00:03:39.000 Vandalism and trespassing is a misdemeanor.

00:03:42.000 You pay a fine.

00:03:43.000 You might get community service.

00:03:45.000 You don't spend a year in the shoe.

00:03:46.000 And you know the rationale?

00:03:47.000 You know why they're putting him in the shoe?

00:03:49.000 Because if they let him in general population, he'll start a revolution and a prison riot because he's Shea Guevara.

00:03:57.000 They're lying.

00:03:58.000 It's not like they're paranoid and they're pussies.

00:04:01.000 No, no, no.

00:04:02.000 They know what's going on.

00:04:04.000 They just like that the political, what's the word I'm looking for?

00:04:09.000 Accoutrement, the political pedigree you get from pretending that this guy is going to kill us all.

00:04:17.000 You can tell he dyes his beard there.

00:04:23.000 So yeah, check out his gives and go.

00:04:24.000 Throw him 20 bucks today, please.

00:04:26.000 We got to do better than 2,000.

00:04:28.000 It's going to cost like a million.

00:04:30.000 So 20,000 wouldn't be great, but it's consequential and it shows people that he cares and it can get his lawyer through the next few months.

00:04:40.000 Two grand?

00:04:41.000 Not so much.

00:04:45.000 I've been a dick this week.

00:04:47.000 I thought you should know, Ryan.

00:04:49.000 Really?

00:04:50.000 Yeah.

00:04:51.000 How so?

00:04:52.000 My new mantra is fuck you.

00:04:54.000 I hate you.

00:04:57.000 I'm still mad about St. Patrick's Day.

00:04:59.000 I found out his reason for taking so long to call me was he finally got a date and he's with a lady.

00:05:06.000 That's no excuse.

00:05:07.000 Bros before hoes.

00:05:08.000 Yeah, bros before hoes.

00:05:10.000 Thank you.

00:05:10.000 Fuck you.

00:05:12.000 I hate you.

00:05:14.000 So I told him to go fuck himself.

00:05:16.000 I'm never, ever going to any of his things ever again.

00:05:19.000 You're still going to the gym?

00:05:20.000 Yes.

00:05:21.000 Is that going to make for an awkward gym experience?

00:05:23.000 Well, today I walk into the gym and he goes, fucking dick.

00:05:28.000 Whoa.

00:05:28.000 And I said, oh, hello.

00:05:31.000 Like, hello, Newman, kind of a thing.

00:05:33.000 So I was being kind of comical, but still.

00:05:38.000 But I think it's a good message.

00:05:40.000 You have to dictate a way that you're treated.

00:05:44.000 Don't let people walk all over you.

00:05:46.000 So if that means you have to be an asshole and get called a dick when you go to the gym, do it.

00:05:51.000 Here's another example.

00:05:53.000 My wife didn't want to fuck me the other last week.

00:05:56.000 And we had the whole house to ourselves.

00:05:58.000 I had a plan to beat the band.

00:06:01.000 It could have been a pornographic film.

00:06:02.000 It involved outfits.

00:06:04.000 And oh my word, it was going to be so rude.

00:06:06.000 I won't even bring it up here because your ears will burn off.

00:06:11.000 And she's like, nah, I got to have a shower.

00:06:13.000 I'm going to walk the dog.

00:06:15.000 What?

00:06:17.000 So that was Thursday.

00:06:18.000 I'm still mad.

00:06:19.000 Monday, have barely spoken to her.

00:06:21.000 And here's my new thing.

00:06:24.000 That's not new.

00:06:25.000 I did it last year.

00:06:26.000 I'm going on strike.

00:06:27.000 Sex is like not a big deal.

00:06:30.000 You heard it here first, folks.

00:06:32.000 Lots of big commitments this week.

00:06:34.000 I committed to spend $100 on every Mets game.

00:06:38.000 I'm betting on the Mets on the money line every single game.

00:06:40.000 If they lose every single game, I will be out $16,000.

00:06:45.000 I am never going to financially recover from this.

00:06:47.000 I know it's weird to ask for money for Joe Biggs and then say I'm risking $16K.

00:06:52.000 Obviously, they're not going to lose every game.

00:06:55.000 I'll probably break even.

00:06:57.000 I could lose maybe $1,000.

00:06:58.000 And I'll be giving Joe Biggs a lot more than $1,000.

00:07:01.000 And I have donated tens upon tens of thousands to Barrie Sprout Boys and their causes.

00:07:10.000 But this is a very strange strike to go on because you're in a situation where the boss doesn't need you.

00:07:18.000 This is like Ryan threatening to go on strike and saying he's never going to drink beer with me.

00:07:26.000 I had a beer for St. Patty's Day.

00:07:28.000 Right.

00:07:29.000 So I would probably notice in about three years.

00:07:32.000 Yeah.

00:07:33.000 I'd go like, dude, what's up?

00:07:34.000 You never have a beer.

00:07:35.000 Like, if we went on a trip, I'll drink on trips.

00:07:38.000 Like Orlando, I drank.

00:07:39.000 But if I didn't drink there, you would have probably noticed.

00:07:42.000 You'd have been like, it would take months to notice.

00:07:44.000 Yeah.

00:07:45.000 Wait, these are my wrong glasses.

00:07:47.000 Oh, for a fucking thing.

00:07:49.000 Oh, well.

00:07:52.000 It would take me months to notice.

00:07:54.000 And that's, it might, it may be months, this strike.

00:07:58.000 Pretty scary, huh?

00:08:00.000 I am done.

00:08:01.000 You're done.

00:08:02.000 I'm done.

00:08:04.000 You think she'll complain and be like, hey.

00:08:08.000 Well, she might miss the attention, right?

00:08:10.000 And women know that sex is an integral part of marriage, and that's an integral part of their...

00:08:16.000 It's not like they're like diddling their bean, dying of lust.

00:08:19.000 But they know that it's a thing that should be done.

00:08:22.000 They don't dislike it.

00:08:24.000 But it's like water.

00:08:26.000 It's like a chore.

00:08:27.000 Like you should drink it.

00:08:28.000 And if you don't drink any, you're not going to be doing very well in the long run.

00:08:33.000 But it's not like, oh yeah, give me some of that sweet wahwah.

00:08:36.000 It's like taking out the trash.

00:08:39.000 Exactly.

00:08:39.000 But your bag of trash is full.

00:08:42.000 I think it's a little more fun.

00:08:44.000 I would like to think it's a little more fun than lifting a bag of rotten food.

00:08:48.000 That almost seems easier.

00:08:50.000 You just tie that sucker up and chuck it out.

00:08:52.000 I would be pretty disappointed if that's where the analogy ends.

00:08:56.000 He's got to take out the trash.

00:08:59.000 My bag is full of trash and it needs to be removed.

00:09:02.000 Take out the become a cum dumpster and take out the trash.

00:09:06.000 Then I had a fight with my dad, too.

00:09:07.000 I'm officially not easy to get along with.

00:09:09.000 I'm down to one friend and he's a murderer who has my throat here tattooed on his hand.

00:09:16.000 You're not my friend.

00:09:17.000 You're my employee.

00:09:18.000 I count too.

00:09:19.000 No, we're not friends.

00:09:21.000 Well, when it comes to dog watching, babysitting, it seems like we're kind of in the friend zone.

00:09:26.000 That's my employee.

00:09:28.000 You watch your employee.

00:09:30.000 So as part of your employer package, you watch my baby.

00:09:34.000 That's part of the...

00:09:36.000 It's almost like health insurance.

00:09:37.000 That's my godchild to be.

00:09:43.000 I don't know.

00:09:45.000 And then I was talking to my dad on the phone last night, and he's like, oh, that's Ukraine, that's Putin.

00:09:50.000 I go, I don't even know what's going on, dude.

00:09:53.000 I go, I think 40% of it is real, and 60% is fake news.

00:10:02.000 I also don't know about this Zelensky guy.

00:10:06.000 He's got like a $35 million mansion in Miami.

00:10:10.000 How the fuck do you spend $35 million on a house?

00:10:12.000 That's just a hotel.

00:10:14.000 Like, it's got to have 50 rooms.

00:10:17.000 I never quite got mansions, by the way.

00:10:20.000 Say you have 27 rooms.

00:10:22.000 How could they all be full?

00:10:24.000 You have a bunch of people over?

00:10:25.000 Okay.

00:10:26.000 Now you live in a hotel.

00:10:29.000 And how do you eat with 27 people?

00:10:31.000 A big, long, long, long, long, long, long, long dining room table?

00:10:34.000 Well, that's stupid now.

00:10:35.000 You can't talk to that guy over there.

00:10:37.000 He's like 15 people away.

00:10:39.000 So you're just talking to these four.

00:10:42.000 So you have all these extraneous human beings wandering around your life.

00:10:47.000 And then the other option is you just have a giant fucking house that's outside, but inside.

00:10:53.000 You know what I mean?

00:10:54.000 Like your dining room is what, a football field?

00:10:57.000 Okay.

00:10:58.000 You must hate being outside.

00:11:00.000 I don't understand what you're doing.

00:11:01.000 It just doesn't make any sense to me.

00:11:03.000 Anyway, you know, he's got that going on.

00:11:06.000 He's made all his money as a Russian folk hero, playing a character that is now the real guy.

00:11:11.000 This is the problem with getting involved in international shit, too.

00:11:15.000 You don't know the culture.

00:11:17.000 It's sort of like history, like taking down these statues.

00:11:20.000 You go, oh, Queen Victoria, she forced the Chinese to do opium.

00:11:24.000 She's a drug dealer.

00:11:26.000 Her statues should be taken down.

00:11:28.000 We should change the name of this Victoria Hall or whatever.

00:11:32.000 Okay, that sounds probably true.

00:11:34.000 I don't know how it was back then in 1900.

00:11:40.000 I don't know.

00:11:44.000 So now this Ukraine things, this is finally the political divide in the family that you've been able to avoid with your parents.

00:11:51.000 This whole time.

00:11:52.000 Now it's Ukraine.

00:11:53.000 Well, he kept saying, you're saying conspiracy theories.

00:11:56.000 I'm like, dad, only faggots say conspiracy theories.

00:12:00.000 What's the matter with conspiracy theories?

00:12:02.000 They're great.

00:12:04.000 But yeah, Queen Victoria.

00:12:05.000 I don't know what life was like back then.

00:12:08.000 It's a whole different, like you got to put on different glasses.

00:12:11.000 Oh, okay.

00:12:12.000 So it's 1900.

00:12:15.000 You have 12 kids.

00:12:16.000 Two are just going to die.

00:12:18.000 That's a thing.

00:12:19.000 They just die, polio, whatever.

00:12:21.000 These wars that we have, this colonization, it does look bad from 2022 to go back, but I don't know, were we starving?

00:12:29.000 Would we have, you know, like think of the poverty they had back then.

00:12:33.000 Even Queen Victoria, she had to wake up and sit on a freezing cold bedpan to take a shit.

00:12:41.000 There's no IC, no heating.

00:12:44.000 You don't know the perspective everyone had back then.

00:12:47.000 Yeah, Christopher Columbus did cut out people's tongues.

00:12:50.000 That's what you did.

00:12:52.000 The tribes that he met were eating each other.

00:12:54.000 When he showed up to the Caribbean, they said, hey, can you help us with this tribe?

00:12:57.000 They won't stop eating us.

00:13:01.000 Different world.

00:13:02.000 So I don't know what's going on with Ukraine.

00:13:05.000 This Zelensky looks like an oligarch to me.

00:13:07.000 I'm not getting involved.

00:13:09.000 Can't they both lose?

00:13:11.000 It Seems to me Putin could just say, promise you won't join NATO and give me these ethnically Russian spots and we're good.

00:13:21.000 And I won't kill anyone.

00:13:22.000 People are definitely dying, by the way.

00:13:24.000 I'm not denying that.

00:13:29.000 So yeah, at the gym this morning, this buddy of mine goes, 40% of people are right-wing.

00:13:34.000 40% of people are left-wing.

00:13:37.000 Right?

00:13:38.000 No, maybe he said 30.

00:13:40.000 Yeah, that's it.

00:13:41.000 30% are right-wing, 30% are left-wing.

00:13:43.000 The other 40%, or as Dr. Joe Biden would say, the other 50%, because her PhD had a bunch of mathematical mistakes like that.

00:13:53.000 She kept going over 100%.

00:13:57.000 The other 40% are just trying to get along.

00:14:00.000 They're just getting along to get along.

00:14:02.000 They're just cruising.

00:14:03.000 And I think this goes with signs on lawns, too.

00:14:06.000 Like when you, he was up in New Hampshire and he saw signs on lawn said Black Lives Matter and a rainbow thing.

00:14:12.000 And then the next one said Trump 2024 and America, fuck you.

00:14:15.000 And like these sign wars that are going on all over America.

00:14:20.000 But yes, some of those people are radical lefties and radical righties, but some of them are just putting up the sign because they were told to.

00:14:28.000 It seems like the right thing to do, and they don't want to be the one house without a Black Lives Matter sign.

00:14:40.000 They're weak.

00:14:41.000 And they're getting, I think that percentage of weakness is increasing.

00:14:45.000 So it's 30 right, 30 left, 40 pussies.

00:14:49.000 I think before it was like 10 pussies.

00:14:53.000 Like if they came to your house and said, hey, can you put up a sign for this commissioner or this guy running for Congress?

00:15:00.000 My mother would just say, absolutely no, it go fuck yourself.

00:15:04.000 When we had Jehovah's Witness come to the door, dude, I asked you to fix those cords like 10 times.

00:15:11.000 I'll fix them today.

00:15:13.000 We had a major problem on Friday.

00:15:15.000 Apologies to everybody.

00:15:17.000 Oh, yeah, we couldn't upload.

00:15:18.000 Yep.

00:15:19.000 There was like 20 things.

00:15:20.000 That's why Infowars wasn't uploaded.

00:15:22.000 I did a spot on Infowars, which ended with Alex saying, come to Austin and run my network.

00:15:28.000 Oh, aye.

00:15:30.000 Not literally run his network, but, you know, host because he's got to, I don't know, get his ingrown toenails removed or something.

00:15:38.000 But I said, sure, I'd love to.

00:15:41.000 And then the producer goes, nah, that's not happening.

00:15:46.000 What?

00:15:46.000 Okay, I guess I won't put on my cowboy boots and head to Texas.

00:15:50.000 But it will happen eventually.

00:15:51.000 So anyway, that's down the line.

00:15:53.000 But the reason I bring up this pussy thing is because I saw this article, 1-2, where a high school in, where is it now?

00:16:02.000 Poughkeepsie?

00:16:04.000 Poughkeepsie high school goes remote after social media threats.

00:16:09.000 Fucking grow a ball.

00:16:11.000 Someone sends you a Facebook DM saying, fuck you, I'm going to kill you, and you shut the school down?

00:16:21.000 How about someone shows up with a gun, like a dad, with a registered weapon, I mean?

00:16:27.000 A legal gun owner shows up and protects the school.

00:16:30.000 There's a famous picture, by the way, of two dads doing that, one, three.

00:16:36.000 It's actually not what you think it is.

00:16:39.000 It's a famous picture, and it's often used as proof that we used to have bigger balls.

00:16:43.000 And I used to use it as proof.

00:16:45.000 Go down?

00:16:48.000 You know that picture?

00:16:49.000 That's like, those are two dads guarding the school.

00:16:51.000 This is the first thing I thought of when I saw that article.

00:16:53.000 But it's not two dads.

00:16:54.000 It's two students.

00:16:55.000 There had been a bunch of bomb threats, and they posed for a picture for the yearbook.

00:17:02.000 So it's an exaggeration, but there was bomb threats.

00:17:06.000 And why don't we do that when there's someone threatening?

00:17:09.000 You know?

00:17:12.000 That goes back to the kids looked way older back in the day.

00:17:16.000 Yeah, that's another thing.

00:17:18.000 That's why people think it's dads because dads look way younger than that now.

00:17:24.000 And I don't mean look younger physically.

00:17:26.000 They dress younger.

00:17:27.000 Especially, sorry to say it, black people here in the Bronx.

00:17:30.000 You'll see 45-year-olds dressed like toddlers with backpacks with like, you know the fucking dude from Looney Tunes who was an alien who looks like a Spartan?

00:17:41.000 Yes.

00:17:42.000 Like that's on a backpack.

00:17:45.000 Or just a grown man with a sweatshirt on.

00:17:47.000 Yo, what's up?

00:17:48.000 Just his whole sweatshirt is SpongeBob.

00:17:50.000 The Great Gazoo.

00:17:52.000 No, that's not who I mean.

00:17:53.000 Oh, man.

00:17:55.000 And that's the Flintstones, I believe.

00:17:57.000 I said Looney Tunes.

00:18:00.000 Oh, Marvin the Martian.

00:18:01.000 Marvin the Martian, yeah.

00:18:03.000 You're a grown man.

00:18:04.000 You have Marvin the Martian?

00:18:05.000 What about you, Gavin?

00:18:06.000 You have the New York Mets.

00:18:07.000 That's a sports team.

00:18:08.000 That's different.

00:18:09.000 It's not a cartoon.

00:18:10.000 Budweiser is not for kids.

00:18:12.000 It's illegal for kids to have Budweiser.

00:18:14.000 And this is the sports episode.

00:18:17.000 Why were Looney Tunes tattoos so popular?

00:18:20.000 I don't know.

00:18:21.000 I hate them.

00:18:22.000 I think a lot of hood dudes, their lives are so horrible and everyone's dead.

00:18:27.000 So they sort of adhere to like cute Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse stuff to sort of kiddify and cutify their life.

00:18:34.000 But it doesn't translate to tattoos for some reason.

00:18:40.000 Well, I'm not voicing that correctly.

00:18:42.000 That's new topic.

00:18:44.000 I don't think Looney Tunes looks good in the tattoo world.

00:18:47.000 The only thing worse is Disney tattoos.

00:18:51.000 I don't know what it is, but Disney is so round like Mickey Mouse's ears.

00:18:55.000 It doesn't look good on skin.

00:18:57.000 Oh, I see what you mean.

00:18:58.000 You know what I mean?

00:18:59.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:19:00.000 Lines are better on skin.

00:19:01.000 You have to find your lines.

00:19:04.000 That just looks so ugly and cheap.

00:19:06.000 You look like a super gulp cup.

00:19:10.000 And fat.

00:19:11.000 You look like a fat bitch when you have Disney tattoos, no matter who you are.

00:19:15.000 You could be a black anorexic 90-year-old man, and you look like a fat white bitch when you have those tattoos.

00:19:25.000 Speaking of kids, let's do some LGBT.

00:19:30.000 I guess we're going to start the show.

00:19:33.000 So there's two things going on here.

00:19:35.000 I don't know which one you want to do.

00:19:37.000 Why are you ugly?

00:19:38.000 I felt ugly.

00:19:39.000 I felt gay.

00:19:40.000 And then we fell in love.

00:19:41.000 I never eat the poop.

00:19:43.000 And we have a very good relationship.

00:19:47.000 You don't want to see a clumpstoff picture of my animals.

00:19:49.000 You ain't gay, man.

00:19:51.000 You ugly.

00:19:53.000 How come everyone brings up the butt plug incident when I put a butt plug in my ass and no one brings up the part where I made out with Milo?

00:20:00.000 Yeah, true.

00:20:00.000 Isn't that way gayer to French a fag?

00:20:03.000 Because there's a man involved.

00:20:05.000 To French a Brit.

00:20:06.000 What's gayer to put a butt plug in your butt or to French a gay man?

00:20:12.000 Maybe they understood the message.

00:20:13.000 They're like, if it's to piss off the Taliban, I'll...

00:20:15.000 Well, the butt plug had a message too.

00:20:17.000 Hillary Clinton can't dance.

00:20:18.000 That's true.

00:20:20.000 I guess people hate terrorists more than terrorists.

00:20:25.000 More than psycho killers who drink baby blood, allegedly.

00:20:30.000 Yeah.

00:20:34.000 Yeah, there's so much of the American conversation right now revolving around trans kids.

00:20:42.000 And I'm here to posit there's no such thing.

00:20:47.000 I do believe you're born gay, but that doesn't mean there's gay kids.

00:20:52.000 Allow me to explain.

00:20:54.000 You're an egg.

00:20:55.000 Your sexuality is an egg.

00:20:57.000 It hasn't hatched.

00:20:58.000 It hatches when you go through puberty.

00:21:00.000 So a gay kid is an unhatched egg.

00:21:03.000 Now they're effeminate and they dance and they like show tunes.

00:21:07.000 So you can see it at a young age.

00:21:09.000 This egg is probably going to hatch a fag.

00:21:13.000 But it's not set in stone.

00:21:15.000 He could just be a feminine dude.

00:21:18.000 Similarly, you're positive this little girl is going to be a dyke.

00:21:22.000 She's a tomboy.

00:21:23.000 She likes motorcycles.

00:21:24.000 The egg hatches.

00:21:25.000 She wants a dick.

00:21:27.000 She's not a dike.

00:21:28.000 She's a tomboy.

00:21:30.000 So don't mess with the egg before it hatches.

00:21:32.000 Gay kids aren't gay.

00:21:34.000 Gay kids are just carrying around a gay egg that will probably hatch gay.

00:21:40.000 But if you mess with them and you start dealing with the eggs insides before it's hatched, you end up with scrambled eggs.

00:21:48.000 And that's what we're doing in America today.

00:21:51.000 I wish you were still like in the mainstream and you could say this on Red Eye and then watch the articles.

00:21:57.000 Well, that's...

00:21:58.000 Sun says gay eggs.

00:21:59.000 Kids are gay eggs.

00:22:01.000 Yeah.

00:22:02.000 This is why like everyone goes, oh man, it must suck not being on Fox anymore or something.

00:22:07.000 And it's like, dude, if I was on Fox magically allowed back tomorrow, I'd be banned in a week.

00:22:12.000 Yeah.

00:22:13.000 We couldn't cuss on CRTV.

00:22:15.000 No, and look what happened to me on CR-TV.

00:22:17.000 Yeah.

00:22:18.000 Fired.

00:22:19.000 We did let cunt slip through, which is a very bad word.

00:22:22.000 So I bleeped shit and bitch.

00:22:25.000 And then I remember I was watching the episode at home.

00:22:27.000 And then I just see, she's a cunt.

00:22:30.000 And I was like, I'm fired.

00:22:33.000 Not in Australia.

00:22:34.000 The worst word.

00:22:36.000 So look at this, 1-4.

00:22:39.000 At 15 years old, I told my parents I thought I might be trans and was referred to a psychologist once my PCP was informed.

00:22:45.000 By the way, last week I met two guys who told me their sons, who my son used to hang out with, are gay.

00:22:52.000 One of them said, told his parents he's bi, and he's since changed his mind, by the way.

00:22:57.000 And then the other, he has just asked his dad for permission to put a rainbow flag in his room.

00:23:03.000 And the guy's like a blue-collar tough guy, what the fuck.

00:23:06.000 Born and raised.

00:23:07.000 Some of his relatives are known to be within the family, if you know what I mean.

00:23:14.000 Connected.

00:23:15.000 They're connected.

00:23:16.000 He let him buy the rainbow flag, by the way.

00:23:18.000 He didn't care.

00:23:19.000 No one does.

00:23:22.000 So what I'm indicating here is I think there's peer pressure to be gay as a young kid, as a 10, 11, 12, 13-year-old.

00:23:30.000 It's just what you say.

00:23:31.000 It's become the normal go-to thing.

00:23:33.000 I'm bi.

00:23:34.000 I just haven't had any dicks.

00:23:36.000 Yeah, you know how many goths weren't actually, they didn't feel goth, but they were like, this is something that could make me different.

00:23:43.000 And they just dressed goth.

00:23:45.000 What the fuck are you talking about?

00:23:46.000 It's like a fad.

00:23:47.000 It's like being punk.

00:23:48.000 I remember I went to Hot Topic to get my punk bracelet with the studs coming out.

00:23:54.000 I wasn't really feeling that, but I felt pressure.

00:23:56.000 I was like, I want to be a rocker guy.

00:24:00.000 I might have been gay if I was in school now.

00:24:03.000 You definitely would be gay.

00:24:07.000 Some fag would trick you into sucking his dick.

00:24:09.000 No.

00:24:10.000 At 15 years old, I told my percent I thought I might be trans and was referred to a psychologist once my PCP was informed.

00:24:15.000 I don't know what PCP is.

00:24:17.000 I know it's a hell of a trip.

00:24:19.000 Then at 16 years old, after only five months of therapy, I underwent a double mastectomy for gender dysphoria.

00:24:25.000 16 years old, she had her fucking tits cut off.

00:24:29.000 Talk about scrambled eggs.

00:24:32.000 I started hormones after the surgery.

00:24:34.000 What's the next one?

00:24:37.000 None of that was enough for me.

00:24:38.000 I still felt incomplete and desperate.

00:24:40.000 At 17 years old, I had implants put in my face to appear more masculine.

00:24:44.000 At 17, you can't get a tattoo till you're 18.

00:24:48.000 At 19, I detransitioned.

00:24:51.000 Primary care provider.

00:24:52.000 Just say doctor.

00:24:54.000 I had my facial implants removed.

00:24:56.000 I stopped testosterone, and now I deal with horrible health issues.

00:24:59.000 I can imagine, I've heard that the hormone blockers make you permanently infertile.

00:25:08.000 I have my oh, here's a question.

00:25:10.000 Hey, computer, how do you pronounce infertile?

00:25:15.000 I pronounce that infertile, but I'm always working on how I say things, and I might not have it right.

00:25:20.000 Oh.

00:25:22.000 Wow.

00:25:22.000 So I'm right.

00:25:23.000 It's to be not racist.

00:25:25.000 I have my breast reconstruction surgery this month.

00:25:28.000 Now, remember, when you get your tits cut off, there's all kinds of all those milk glands and shit.

00:25:33.000 So it's not like you're back to normal.

00:25:36.000 I'm hoping to move forward in life and continue advocating for children.

00:25:39.000 After my transition, I've been left with immense scarring.

00:25:42.000 Yeah.

00:25:43.000 Health issues, nerve damage, possible infertility.

00:25:46.000 I am autistic and had trauma previous to transition.

00:25:48.000 My doctors and psychologists were all informed of this, but still chose to tell my parents and myself that without transitioning, I would end up committing suicide due to my gender dysphoria.

00:25:58.000 Okay, these doctors need to go to jail.

00:26:01.000 I'm so sick of this shit.

00:26:06.000 Go to 1-4?

00:26:07.000 Then the other 1-4?

00:26:14.000 I knew the hormones wouldn't work.

00:26:15.000 Why did they play with her life?

00:26:16.000 Bereaved mom blames LA County for her teenage daughter's suicide, claiming school pushed her to transition to a male instead of properly treating her depression.

00:26:27.000 But, like, isn't this on you, mom?

00:26:30.000 No one is fucking chopping my daughter's tits off.

00:26:33.000 No fucking way.

00:26:35.000 I don't care what the doctors say.

00:26:37.000 I wouldn't even let them take Ritalin if they were diagnosed with ADD.

00:26:42.000 I'd say that's overdiagnosed.

00:26:44.000 We all have ADD.

00:26:47.000 Have a coffee.

00:26:49.000 Go back.

00:26:51.000 You left that too soon.

00:26:53.000 Andrew Martinez, born Yael Galdamez.

00:26:57.000 Why'd she change Galdamez to Martinez?

00:27:01.000 Died by suicide at the age of 19 by stepping in front of a train.

00:27:04.000 Oh, my Lord.

00:27:06.000 So go down.

00:27:09.000 There she is, beautiful little girl.

00:27:11.000 Kind of depressed.

00:27:14.000 There she is.

00:27:15.000 Not a boy.

00:27:17.000 Just a weird lesbian.

00:27:20.000 You know, I think gays might have a high suicide rate because it just feels weird to be gay.

00:27:24.000 Like a vegetarian lion.

00:27:27.000 It might be kind of natural.

00:27:30.000 You know what I mean?

00:27:31.000 I see what you mean, yeah.

00:27:31.000 Like maybe blind people and deaf people have high suicide rates too because they're just so different from the rest of the world.

00:27:38.000 Keep going.

00:27:41.000 You're not a boy.

00:27:43.000 Not one bit.

00:27:46.000 There's the weird lesbian in the background pretending to be a boy.

00:27:50.000 You know that kind of guy.

00:27:52.000 Yeah, one of the guys.

00:27:54.000 Hey, man, you want a beer?

00:27:55.000 Hey, dude.

00:27:56.000 Got a buddy?

00:27:58.000 Guys like spiders?

00:27:59.000 That's my buddy.

00:28:05.000 Again, just a nice lesbian girl.

00:28:07.000 And they mutilated the egg before it hatched, and her scrambled eggs jumped in front of a train.

00:28:14.000 And it's all based on this assumption that there's these poor, tortured, trans kids who don't know that it's okay to be trans.

00:28:22.000 That's a sexual thing.

00:28:25.000 So you're presuming the egg has hatched.

00:28:27.000 It hasn't hatched.

00:28:30.000 Maybe that should be the name of the show.

00:28:33.000 So you're doing all this preemptive strike to prevent what happens when the egg hatches, but you're dealing with it before the egg hatched.

00:28:40.000 The egg hatches way into puberty.

00:28:44.000 First trans woman of color.

00:28:46.000 What a fucking ridiculous pile of shit.

00:28:50.000 Alejandro.

00:28:52.000 Okay, so check this out.

00:28:55.000 So they wanted to have a debate at Yale, right?

00:28:58.000 If you recall, Yale has brought us the likes of Sonia Sotomayor, Barack Obama, Bill and Hillary Clinton.

00:29:06.000 Sonia Sotomayor, by the way, who didn't get in shit for saying people think judges should be impartial and they pretend to be impartial, but that's a lie.

00:29:14.000 And I would be lying to you if I pretended I was impartial.

00:29:18.000 I come to the bench with a special perspective, being a female Latina.

00:29:24.000 So my decisions come with a female Latina influence.

00:29:29.000 In other words, I'm a shitty judge.

00:29:32.000 And she's on the Supreme Court because she's a woman of color.

00:29:38.000 And now we have a fucking pedophile.

00:29:40.000 As I was saying on Infowars, this new one, Mr. Magoo just goes, get us a black woman, I don't care.

00:29:46.000 So they get a woman who consistently pardons pedophiles, gives them a free pass.

00:29:53.000 That's what she's known for.

00:29:55.000 By the way, this is all good for us, believe it or not.

00:29:59.000 By adding a radical to the Supreme Court, you're shifting the Overton window on the end.

00:30:04.000 And semi-moderates like Kavanaugh and Roberts are not going near Jackson because she's way too much of a nut.

00:30:12.000 So she can't bridge the gap.

00:30:13.000 So they're just going to go more on the pro-life side, Christian right side.

00:30:17.000 Good, fine.

00:30:18.000 This is what's happening all over the right.

00:30:20.000 They're becoming such freaks that even, sorry, the left, that even the normal liberals can't stand them.

00:30:28.000 They're sabotaging their own party by going too woke.

00:30:31.000 Good.

00:30:33.000 Let them cannibalize each other.

00:30:34.000 But here's a perfect example of this.

00:30:35.000 So it's at Yale.

00:30:37.000 They want to have a civil debate.

00:30:40.000 No, that's not it.

00:30:41.000 I didn't mean to show that.

00:30:44.000 Actually, that's worth mentioning, though.

00:30:48.000 Little side note tangent here.

00:30:50.000 So the New York Times dared to have an article that says America has a free speech problem.

00:30:55.000 And I've noticed tons of academics, New York Times contributors and bloggers, writers, whatever the fuck these modern journalists are called, journalist activists, bitching about it.

00:31:08.000 They're really mad.

00:31:10.000 And they have these really wordy explanations on why the New York Times should never have run this article.

00:31:19.000 The New York Times editorial board thinks America has a free speech problem and presents a purely mythical idea of what free speech is.

00:31:24.000 An ahistorical tale of the country's past.

00:31:28.000 In other words, America is super racist and evil, and we have to come down hard on anyone we see as a bigot or we'll have another slavery is where these people are coming from.

00:31:41.000 And a narrative that is detached from the current reality of the political conflict.

00:31:46.000 You see, we need to be hard on these people because white supremacy is a major problem in our country.

00:31:52.000 That's why we have to be such dicks.

00:31:54.000 They also believe that free speech only applies to the government because that's the way it looks in the law books.

00:32:02.000 So I can tell Ryan not to say something, but the government can't.

00:32:07.000 No, asshole.

00:32:08.000 It doesn't matter who's doing the censoring.

00:32:12.000 The title is America Has a Free Speech Problem, and it absolutely does.

00:32:16.000 No, it's not the government shutting anything down.

00:32:19.000 I'm not even saying it's illegal, this problem.

00:32:21.000 What we're saying is the hysterical mob is out destroying the culture of America, destroying free speech.

00:32:30.000 Do you really give a shit if the government gets you fired or a mob of lunatics tweeting your job gets you fired?

00:32:37.000 You're still fired.

00:32:38.000 You're still canceled.

00:32:40.000 And to deny cancel culture, cancel culture denialism is rampant in this country.

00:32:49.000 That's another good name.

00:32:51.000 Where the left just goes, no, that's all a myth.

00:32:53.000 It just means people didn't want to work with that guy because he's a racist, transphobic, xylophobic bigot, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:33:00.000 No, that's a really ridiculous view of the world where the boss, Buffalo Bill, is grabbing, like in Dolly Parton movie 9 to 5, where he's always grabbing the secretary's asses.

00:33:12.000 That's the world you're living in.

00:33:14.000 It's not Earth.

00:33:16.000 You're not canceling that guy.

00:33:17.000 You're canceling me, Ryan, your family.

00:33:20.000 I'm noticing this too.

00:33:21.000 A lot of people are realizing, oh, shit, now that my brother's canceled or my boss is canceled or I'm canceled, you were right.

00:33:32.000 Yeah, well, I told you so.

00:33:34.000 Welcome aboard the shit train.

00:33:37.000 Here's a weird thing, by the way.

00:33:41.000 I met an old buddy that we used to hang out with that I own the restaurant with, right?

00:33:47.000 Curtis.

00:33:48.000 We used to, when I lived in New York City.

00:33:51.000 And he goes, this is so petty that I'm bringing this up, but Amber Tamlin showed me a picture of you where you looked like shit.

00:33:58.000 You look pretty good.

00:34:00.000 I thought you were going to be all bloated and old looking.

00:34:04.000 I went, why the fuck did she send you a picture of me looking bad?

00:34:09.000 Like, what are you going to do?

00:34:10.000 Go, oh, my God.

00:34:11.000 He's so ugly now.

00:34:12.000 I don't like him anymore.

00:34:14.000 What a bizarre thing to do.

00:34:16.000 Anyway, that was petty of me to even bring up.

00:34:20.000 But yeah, America absolutely has a free speech problem.

00:34:23.000 Okay, so that brings us to.

00:34:27.000 Did I make my earlier point clear?

00:34:30.000 The mob is out canceling people.

00:34:31.000 It doesn't matter who's doing the canceling.

00:34:33.000 It's happening in America, and it's a major problem.

00:34:36.000 Okay, so Yale says, let's have a debate.

00:34:39.000 I think trans was one of the things, right?

00:34:43.000 And we'll have pro-trans, anti-trans.

00:34:45.000 Sit down and discuss things.

00:34:47.000 There'll be a Q ⁇ A, point, counterpoint.

00:34:49.000 You know, the way, I'm John Malay now.

00:34:52.000 You know, what, that's what universities were designed for?

00:34:55.000 You know, like a debate.

00:34:58.000 Like, that is really the central point of university, is to get informed and hear both sides.

00:35:05.000 I think that was in the initial business plan back in fucking Greek days.

00:35:10.000 So the Yale law students, who are some of the shittiest people in the world, decide to shut it down because even hearing someone be anti-trans puts trans kids' lives in danger.

00:35:24.000 What?

00:35:26.000 No, it don't.

00:35:28.000 How are they in danger?

00:35:29.000 They're going to die?

00:35:30.000 They're going to be stabbed in the face?

00:35:32.000 Trans kids don't exist.

00:35:34.000 Gay kids sort of exist, but it's just a kid carrying an egg.

00:35:38.000 Okay, check this out.

00:35:41.000 Turn it up.

00:35:42.000 It's hard to hear.

00:35:50.000 Turn out a girl.

00:35:50.000 What?

00:35:51.000 Are you the one who took the trap?

00:35:53.000 No, I'm going to turn the trap how female he did.

00:35:55.000 He said, and I corrected him.

00:35:58.000 Can I ask you all, and you know, Yale has a policy of freedom to speech.

00:36:18.000 Dude, is that not amazing?

00:36:21.000 I think one of the panelists said grow up, and they all freaked out because they're babies.

00:36:27.000 They can't handle something as weak and tame as grow up.

00:36:32.000 And so it becomes self-realizing.

00:36:36.000 Yeah, you're right.

00:36:37.000 Grow up.

00:36:38.000 If you can't handle someone telling you to grow up, then they're right.

00:36:42.000 Go ahead.

00:36:51.000 You guys.

00:36:54.000 Free speech is what it is.

00:36:57.000 No, no, no.

00:36:57.000 You're supposed to not see the free speech.

00:37:06.000 Remind you, Yale is committed to protecting freedom of expression.

00:37:11.000 Interfering with a speaker's speech is not permitted.

00:37:20.000 So please refrain from noise, activity, or otherwise disruptive information.

00:37:30.000 That's the first time I'm telling you this.

00:37:32.000 If it continues, I'll tell you again.

00:37:37.000 I have to ask you to leave or help you.

00:37:41.000 Just kick them out.

00:37:42.000 I've been through this at NYU.

00:37:44.000 They don't get better.

00:37:46.000 They're there to sabotage the thing.

00:37:48.000 I think disrespect for your elders is a huge part in this, too.

00:37:52.000 Like in Animal House, when they did their presentation, it was a proper presentation.

00:37:57.000 And it was a huge deal.

00:37:59.000 Remember where, what's his name?

00:38:00.000 He goes, well, you tell them to shut up.

00:38:01.000 They're serious now.

00:38:02.000 Right, right.

00:38:03.000 And then he goes, shut the fuck up, you morons.

00:38:05.000 He's serious.

00:38:06.000 Right.

00:38:06.000 And then everyone's going, oh, God, this is rich.

00:38:10.000 But yeah, they still followed the rules.

00:38:12.000 And I guess we missed it.

00:38:14.000 But at one point, he says, are you going to tell trans kids that their lives matter less than free speech?

00:38:23.000 Sort of.

00:38:25.000 It depends.

00:38:27.000 That's a toughie.

00:38:30.000 And did you notice when she brought up free speech at the beginning, how they all went, oh, that's where they are now.

00:38:36.000 Free speech is not a given anymore.

00:38:38.000 And it's the same with MLK, where he says, judge you by the content of their character.

00:38:42.000 They go, oh, identity politics has trumped MLK and free speech, both of which are intrinsic not just to America, but to Western culture.

00:38:54.000 The idea of you being judged by the content of your character goes back to the Magna Carta.

00:38:59.000 It's an Integral part of Western culture.

00:39:06.000 You're welcome to be outside as long as you don't disrupt the event.

00:39:09.000 And you're welcome to stay and listen and to ask questions when we get to discussion period of the event.

00:39:17.000 It says silence equals death.

00:39:19.000 That's ironic.

00:39:21.000 Aren't you asking for silence?

00:39:22.000 I'm trying to talk, bitch.

00:39:29.000 Stop.

00:39:30.000 That is so idiotic.

00:39:31.000 Silence equals death is a gay anthem from the AIDS days.

00:39:36.000 And it means not being honest about who you are and telling people that you're gay and acknowledging that we have a serious disease within our community will lead to more people getting AIDS.

00:39:47.000 It doesn't mean you can't debate trans kids.

00:39:54.000 That marriage is going to last about a year.

00:39:58.000 But yeah, cry it up, Homo.

00:40:01.000 Is that it?

00:40:02.000 Yep.

00:40:03.000 Okay.

00:40:06.000 Which brings us to, of course, an exciting moment.

00:40:10.000 Rachel Levine was our own.

00:40:14.000 She's got like corporal deputy of the...

00:40:17.000 It's the most ridiculous job I've ever heard.

00:40:22.000 It's like the top military general of health.

00:40:27.000 What does that mean?

00:40:28.000 You're on the battlefield working the triage, defining what gets triage, what doesn't?

00:40:35.000 Look up Rachel Levine's actual title.

00:40:37.000 Look, she's got medals all over her.

00:40:42.000 Thank you, USA Today, for recognizing me as one of the courageous women of the year.

00:40:48.000 Such an honor.

00:40:49.000 My definition of courage, be true to yourself, be true to who you are, and then pay that forward by doing work for the common good.

00:40:58.000 So it's two things.

00:40:59.000 You've got to be yourself.

00:41:01.000 Basically, her definition of courage is herself.

00:41:05.000 My definition of courage, be an old Jewish guy with funny teeth who gets fake tits and affirmative actions his way to the top of the assistant secretary for health to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

00:41:24.000 Oh, excuse me.

00:41:25.000 Admiral.

00:41:26.000 Oh, Admiral.

00:41:27.000 She's an admiral.

00:41:28.000 So is it a military position?

00:41:30.000 I've talked to people in the military about this, and they are profoundly confused.

00:41:35.000 Note, when I'm confused about something, I've looked into it, and it is confusing.

00:41:41.000 Like sewing machines.

00:41:43.000 Those defy physics.

00:41:44.000 I don't understand them.

00:41:45.000 Nobody does.

00:41:47.000 God made a mistake when he made sewing machines and he accidentally let a magic thing exist.

00:41:54.000 If physics departments were honest about sewing machines, there'd be no physics departments in the world because physics has been disproven by sewing machines.

00:42:05.000 They're not real.

00:42:06.000 They're magic.

00:42:07.000 I'm a flat earther when it comes to sewing machines.

00:42:10.000 What's that?

00:42:11.000 It's a before.

00:42:12.000 No, it's not.

00:42:13.000 It's not.

00:42:18.000 It can't be.

00:42:20.000 I know what he looked like before.

00:42:27.000 What does the caption say?

00:42:31.000 Yeah, that's not him.

00:42:32.000 He looks...

00:42:33.000 His before looks exactly like that.

00:42:36.000 Just make the hair short.

00:42:37.000 And then you got the before.

00:42:40.000 So basically that.

00:42:41.000 That.

00:42:42.000 That's what he's always looked like.

00:42:46.000 That's not a before and after.

00:42:48.000 Imagine.

00:42:50.000 Wow, actually, how did you become a dog?

00:42:54.000 But anyway, all of this brings us to something we've wanted to do for a while, and that is discuss these incredible women in sports.

00:43:05.000 So let's wander over to the green screen room and get into it.

00:43:23.000 Hey, folks.

00:43:24.000 All right.

00:43:24.000 We're here.

00:43:25.000 We're ready.

00:43:25.000 Let's do this.

00:43:26.000 Let's do the top 10 women in sports.

00:43:52.000 Isn't that inspiring?

00:43:54.000 We worked very hard on this, and I would say the hardest thing about this was not getting a hard on because the top 10 women in America are the top 10 women in world sports, coincidentally.

00:44:06.000 And it's not easy not to get horny.

00:44:10.000 I was getting a fucking wood this whole time.

00:44:13.000 So let's start with the number one woman in the world in sports.

00:44:17.000 She just broke the 500-meter freestyle national record championships in 2022, NCAA.

00:44:24.000 These sports all have very long names.

00:44:27.000 I'm not that familiar of sports outside of my Mets, and even then I'm kind of a poser.

00:44:32.000 But yeah, very specific.

00:44:34.000 So 2022, Leah Thompson, there she is.

00:44:39.000 I've got some footage of her actually swimming.

00:44:42.000 Oh, yeah, she beat the shit out of this cunt, Kate Ziegler.

00:44:48.000 Every woman we're listing here has smashed records.

00:44:52.000 They come out of nowhere and they just destroy the sport, which makes you think that women could be doing a lot better if they needed to.

00:45:00.000 Now, look at her form.

00:45:01.000 You can play the volume on this one, Ryan.

00:45:06.000 You hear them talking?

00:45:16.000 See that?

00:45:18.000 Not only are these women fantastic athletes, but they all have this incredible style, their own je s'est qui.

00:45:25.000 And what I love about Leah Thompson is she doesn't really kick her gorgeous gams.

00:45:31.000 She is mostly about the stroke.

00:45:33.000 She's about stroking it and stroking it slow and long hard.

00:45:40.000 Look at her go.

00:45:41.000 Look at her legs are barely moving.

00:45:43.000 They're sort of trailing behind her like the tails of a kite.

00:45:47.000 But her arms are what really make her number one.

00:45:51.000 If I got a picture of her, yeah, look how pretty she is.

00:45:57.000 Not in this one.

00:45:58.000 That one.

00:46:00.000 So number two, this one, confession alert.

00:46:04.000 I have had a crush on this Nubian princess since I first heard of her a couple years ago.

00:46:10.000 She's not far from here, by the way.

00:46:11.000 She's in Connecticut.

00:46:13.000 And she is unfathomably talented.

00:46:17.000 She's an absolute demon with the sprinting, I guess.

00:46:23.000 Maybe that's 500 yards or something.

00:46:25.000 Oh, this is her and her friend, Terry Miller.

00:46:29.000 Both of these girls are dominating this one school in Connecticut.

00:46:33.000 They're absolutely killing it.

00:46:36.000 That's her there.

00:46:37.000 Have you got number two, though, have you got footage of her doing an interview where she talks about the various outfits she would wear?

00:46:46.000 Number two.

00:46:49.000 Yeah.

00:46:49.000 It's right under the name.

00:46:50.000 Yeah, there she is.

00:46:51.000 If you cut forward a little bit, you can see her.

00:46:54.000 Yeah.

00:46:55.000 Look at this.

00:46:57.000 You know who she reminds me of is Hallie Berry.

00:46:59.000 Do you see that?

00:47:02.000 Look at her.

00:47:04.000 And that's taken off since then.

00:47:05.000 Imagine just making out with her.

00:47:07.000 Quickly, the story caught on not only locally, but even nationally.

00:47:12.000 And with the story came the comments, the tweets.

00:47:15.000 Yeah, we don't need to hear about comments and tweets.

00:47:17.000 We just want to see that gorgeous babe.

00:47:20.000 Yum Alert.

00:47:21.000 I wish she was running into my pants right now.

00:47:23.000 Let's hear her talk.

00:47:24.000 Because, like, I guess it's not that serious.

00:47:27.000 Andrea's mother reacted how any mother would react.

00:47:30.000 The mama bear comes out to me oftentimes.

00:47:32.000 So, yeah.

00:47:33.000 So I sort of lumped number three in with Andrea because they're inseparable, these two girls.

00:47:37.000 Terry Miller and Andrea are both, I would say, the top athletes in the Northeast as far as sprinting goes.

00:47:45.000 Absolutely incredible.

00:47:46.000 So we sort of skipped there, right?

00:47:48.000 We showed you Terry Miller in that footage where we had the two circles, right?

00:47:53.000 And now let's jump to number four because we're not just talking about one sport here.

00:47:59.000 Women are dominating.

00:48:00.000 And it seems like, especially in the past few years, there's record-breaking athletes on a daily basis.

00:48:07.000 It seems.

00:48:07.000 When I saw Leah Thompson, I went, oh, you smashed the 500-meter freestyle competition.

00:48:12.000 You smashed all the records.

00:48:14.000 Wait a minute.

00:48:15.000 That's like the 10th record I've heard of in the past two years getting smashed.

00:48:20.000 Now I know what you're thinking.

00:48:21.000 Steroids.

00:48:22.000 No, these women are not testing positive for drugs.

00:48:26.000 I believe women are finally getting their shit together.

00:48:30.000 And sisters are doing it for theyselves.

00:48:34.000 So this is Lauren Hubbard.

00:48:36.000 Laurel, sorry, Laurel Hubbard.

00:48:38.000 She's way down there in New Zealand.

00:48:40.000 Did I say America?

00:48:41.000 Okay, there's some people that aren't in.

00:48:43.000 I count New Zealand and Australia as America because they were some of the earliest colonies.

00:48:48.000 I think they bought them back in 1792.

00:48:51.000 Look at her go.

00:48:53.000 Talk about, I used to think Maoris were the toughest thing about New Zealand.

00:48:57.000 No, it's their woman.

00:48:59.000 Look at this bitch.

00:49:01.000 Come on, lady, use those gorgeous legs.

00:49:04.000 And she's up.

00:49:05.000 She is up.

00:49:06.000 Look at her go.

00:49:08.000 And she broke the records for, she won silver at the 2017 World Championships, gold at the 2019 Pacific Games in Samoa after having sustained a broken arm at the 2018 Commonwealth Games in Australia.

00:49:24.000 So she lifted so much weight, she broke her arms.

00:49:27.000 Then the next year she goes in and wins fucking gold.

00:49:31.000 You know what's next for her?

00:49:32.000 Diamonds.

00:49:33.000 You know why?

00:49:34.000 Because diamonds are a girl's best friend, and I'm going to propose to her.

00:49:38.000 Because the only thing more exciting than watching her lift is seeing her lift her bikini on.

00:49:45.000 What?

00:49:49.000 Now let's go over to Canada.

00:49:50.000 Okay, I changed my mind about America.

00:49:52.000 These are the best athletes in the world.

00:49:55.000 Okay?

00:49:56.000 Now this is Veronica Ivey, and she broke the F35 to 39 female.

00:50:02.000 I guess it's females aged 35 to 39.

00:50:06.000 200 meter TT, the titty world record.

00:50:09.000 She did it in 11 seconds.

00:50:11.000 She went 200 meters in 11 seconds.

00:50:14.000 I guess she's just getting revved up there.

00:50:16.000 Look at her go.

00:50:17.000 Look at those legs.

00:50:18.000 It's amazing to think that those legs wear fishnets in the day with high-heel shoes.

00:50:24.000 And then those same fucking gams hop on a bike and break world records.

00:50:30.000 Again, we've expanded this from America to the whole world live in the segment.

00:50:36.000 So God bless you, Veronica.

00:50:38.000 Have you got any more pictures of her?

00:50:40.000 She is a smoke show.

00:50:41.000 And she's kind of my type, if I'm honest with you.

00:50:44.000 I kind of like the punky chicks.

00:50:46.000 And she's got like purple hair and stuff.

00:50:48.000 There she is.

00:50:49.000 Let's hear her talk.

00:50:51.000 Men are always stronger than women.

00:50:53.000 And so if you think about it.

00:50:54.000 Okay, so we don't want to hear that shit.

00:50:55.000 We just want to see her be a hot smoke show.

00:51:02.000 That's an actual woman.

00:51:02.000 I mean, it is a not athletic woman.

00:51:06.000 I don't like that.

00:51:06.000 I like that.

00:51:07.000 That's my kind of shit.

00:51:08.000 Look how fun she is, too.

00:51:10.000 And you'll note, girls don't have to wear makeup all the time.

00:51:13.000 They're not your slaves.

00:51:15.000 So that's number five.

00:51:16.000 Number six, this woman, Cece Tesla.

00:51:22.000 Cece.

00:51:23.000 She's a 2019 NCAA woman's D2.

00:51:26.000 Remember, I was talking about how specific these things are?

00:51:29.000 Our 400-meter hurdles national champion.

00:51:34.000 Look how hot she is.

00:51:36.000 Yum.

00:51:38.000 What is she saying here?

00:51:39.000 Something sexy.

00:51:40.000 I knew that going into the finals, I was pretty strong in it.

00:51:45.000 I have to feed her out.

00:51:47.000 Pretty single.

00:51:49.000 And empowering and just free.

00:51:53.000 As far as my teammates and coaches, like I said before, like we've been waiting for this.

00:51:59.000 She's so good.

00:52:00.000 Look at that.

00:52:01.000 You're never that person.

00:52:03.000 way ahead of all those other.

00:52:04.000 I think a lot of girls are lazy.

00:52:06.000 And what you were seeing here is women finally trying at something.

00:52:10.000 And the other lazy bitches are left behind going, oh shit, we have to get up early and stuff.

00:52:15.000 A lot of these hurdlers have never even tried before.

00:52:19.000 That must be her with her son that came out of her vagina, I guess.

00:52:24.000 It was kind of surprising.

00:52:25.000 Number seven, always a favorite, Mary Gregory.

00:52:29.000 Now, powerlifting isn't in the Olympics, but she did still consistently break all world records for women's powerlifting.

00:52:39.000 This insane smoke show.

00:52:42.000 Can you pull her up at some point there?

00:52:45.000 There she is.

00:52:45.000 Look at her go.

00:52:50.000 I think these records were easy to break because a lot of the previous women were being lazy sluts and they were too busy watching real housewives to actually practice.

00:53:00.000 You finally get someone who tries.

00:53:03.000 I don't think that's her.

00:53:04.000 And you end up with real records.

00:53:07.000 Look at this girl go.

00:53:08.000 Look at her.

00:53:09.000 Push it, Mary.

00:53:10.000 Push it.

00:53:11.000 Good.

00:53:12.000 There you go.

00:53:13.000 I bet she has an amazing ass from all those squats.

00:53:18.000 There she goes, boys.

00:53:21.000 Anything you can do, I can do better.

00:53:23.000 Girls are better than boys.

00:53:25.000 Sorry, that's kind of the takeaway here.

00:53:28.000 Next, of course, we have...

00:53:31.000 We don't want to leave out MMA.

00:53:33.000 I think girls make excellent fighters.

00:53:35.000 This is Anna McLaughlin.

00:53:37.000 McLaughlin?

00:53:38.000 McLaughlin.

00:53:41.000 McLaughlin?

00:53:42.000 I'm Scottish and I can't pronounce the Scottish name.

00:53:44.000 Sometimes they do pronounce the G, sometimes they don't.

00:53:46.000 Can we hear the commentary?

00:53:48.000 See, it's more like she's throwing and she backs off.

00:53:52.000 She's continuing to get her.

00:53:52.000 So that's the one in the pink.

00:53:54.000 This is her MMA debut, and she totally smashes the face in of her opponent.

00:54:01.000 Thank God.

00:54:02.000 I love watching two women fight because that's what this is.

00:54:06.000 It's a woman fighting a woman.

00:54:08.000 She still has that shy, coy, kind of girly demeanor about her.

00:54:13.000 Yeah.

00:54:13.000 But she's also vicious.

00:54:14.000 She doesn't have the confidence of a man.

00:54:17.000 No, she's like, can I hit you?

00:54:19.000 But she does not ask for permission.

00:54:21.000 She just takes it.

00:54:24.000 Still very ladylike.

00:54:25.000 She seems to be taking punches to the face on purpose.

00:54:29.000 Which I'm not familiar with that technique.

00:54:30.000 I don't know why she is.

00:54:31.000 Because you're hurting your opponent's hands.

00:54:33.000 Maybe.

00:54:34.000 Okay.

00:54:35.000 Yeah, she kind of leans into the punches as if to say, good job.

00:54:39.000 I think now she's had enough.

00:54:41.000 And she gets the knee in there a few times.

00:54:44.000 Women don't have the same upper body strength as men, so they'll be using their knees a lot.

00:54:49.000 Which brings us to...

00:54:50.000 Well, do you want to just go to the end of that?

00:54:51.000 We can see that stupid loser bitch covered in blood with our beloved Alana on top of her.

00:54:57.000 It's kind of rare when you get hit that the other fighter just holds their head and says, ow, wait, hold on.

00:55:03.000 Usually they just kind of roll with, literally roll with a bunch of how good Alana is.

00:55:08.000 Her trademark is overhand rights.

00:55:09.000 There she is, just splitting open the face of her opponent.

00:55:14.000 And then we got a millisecond over there.

00:55:18.000 There she is.

00:55:19.000 Hi, sweetheart.

00:55:21.000 And on the podcast back in July of some other gorgeous babe.

00:55:26.000 If we're going to talk about MMA, of course we can't miss out on our number one favorite female fighter of all time, Ms. Fallon Fox, who is a fox, the aptly named epinomous fox.

00:55:41.000 And this is a fight with some lazy girl, some lazy black girl who didn't practice enough.

00:55:48.000 And there we go.

00:55:50.000 Did you catch that?

00:55:52.000 This is a woman using her knee to knock out her opponent.

00:55:57.000 See, down with the head, up with the knee.

00:55:59.000 Good night.

00:56:00.000 Sweet dreams, bitch.

00:56:02.000 Again, ladies, these past two years have finally shown women what they can do.

00:56:08.000 And they're learning that they weren't trying.

00:56:10.000 The reason that woman was knocked out and has an ice pack on her head is because she was being lazy.

00:56:16.000 She wasn't trying her.

00:56:17.000 Fallon busted her ass.

00:56:20.000 Fallon busted her own ass and then kicked the ass of her opponent.

00:56:24.000 Let's hear her talk.

00:56:27.000 Did you like that?

00:56:29.000 Yeah!

00:56:30.000 And I want to tell everyone else, I'm coming in this tournament.

00:56:34.000 Don't you wish that that was going into your ear holes during bedtime?

00:56:39.000 And then number 10, Blast from the Past, our favorite female athlete of all time outside of Leah Thompson.

00:56:47.000 We will always include her in any kind of list of incredibly successful athletic women.

00:56:52.000 And that is, of course, Australia's Hannah Mouncey.

00:56:56.000 All 6'3, 250 pounds of her.

00:57:00.000 She's playing, skip ahead here.

00:57:03.000 You can see her playing handball.

00:57:04.000 That was her forte.

00:57:07.000 That's a big thing with them.

00:57:08.000 I don't really get the game.

00:57:09.000 It's sort of like, there she is.

00:57:11.000 That's her waving.

00:57:12.000 Which one is she?

00:57:15.000 She's hard to spot, but that's her there.

00:57:17.000 Oh, okay, number six.

00:57:18.000 That was a New Zealand flag, wasn't it?

00:57:20.000 No, it was Australia.

00:57:22.000 Just unbelievable finesse.

00:57:25.000 Always ladylike, very polite.

00:57:27.000 She understands the game.

00:57:29.000 Oh, this was her on 60 Minutes, right?

00:57:31.000 Is this my link or yours?

00:57:32.000 This is mine.

00:57:33.000 Okay.

00:57:34.000 Well, if you go to my link, there she is.

00:57:36.000 This is my favorite moment of hers.

00:57:38.000 Just dominating in handball, smashing records, bringing her team to the finals.

00:57:44.000 And look at that throw.

00:57:45.000 No one can compete with Hannah.

00:57:47.000 You know why?

00:57:48.000 Because Hannah works hard.

00:57:50.000 Girls, you got to get off your ass.

00:57:52.000 You need to try.

00:57:54.000 The reason these records are being broken is because a handful of women are finally standing up for themselves and actually trying to do something.

00:58:02.000 You other girls are being lazy bitches and whores.

00:58:22.000 They didn't note that all of the trans athletes, another one of their feats, having the largest clitorises in their division, which is.

00:58:32.000 They don't mention it, but it's.

00:58:33.000 From now on, anyone who is excited about these women in sports has to fuck one.

00:58:39.000 And I would prefer you did the last one, Hannah Mouncey.

00:58:43.000 If you think that Hannah Mouncey is a fantastic female athlete, you have to have sex with her.

00:58:49.000 New rule.

00:58:50.000 New rule.

00:58:51.000 New rule.

00:58:54.000 One thing I want to note, though, before...

00:58:58.000 You got Crip Daddy on the line soon?

00:59:00.000 Oh, I could have him ready in seconds.

00:59:02.000 Okay, well, first I want to cover this, though.

00:59:04.000 1-9.

00:59:06.000 Women are not perfect, and some of them, okay, all of them, have trouble holding their liquor.

00:59:14.000 You know, drunk guys occasionally get violent.

00:59:17.000 Not really.

00:59:17.000 They tend to get too repetitive, and then they fall asleep.

00:59:22.000 Drunk women, however, go nuts.

00:59:26.000 They get hysterical.

00:59:27.000 And this woman, drinker thrown out of pub, paraded down Hanley Street.

00:59:33.000 So this woman, Shay Sims is her name, was kicked out of a bar.

00:59:40.000 She got wasted.

00:59:40.000 And the saddest part of this was as she was walking down the street, her penis was hanging out.

00:59:47.000 There she is.

00:59:49.000 Women will get so drunk, they let their dick hang out of their skirt.

00:59:54.000 And that's something that has to change.

00:59:55.000 So though I do love female athletes, and we just showcased 10 of the best, I also want to show you that there's some yin and yang there.

01:00:06.000 And a lot of women will get so drunk, they forget that their dick is out.

01:00:12.000 Yin and wang.

01:00:13.000 Yin and wang.

01:00:14.000 You know, I was on my way to look up the uncensored clip of this act, and I just lost interest for some reason.

01:00:23.000 Oh, that's weird.

01:00:23.000 I can't tell you why.

01:00:24.000 Maybe the mask.

01:00:25.000 The bright side, if you want to see a chick's dick, get her drunk.

01:00:30.000 Anyway, can you get Crip on the line?

01:00:32.000 I miss him.

01:00:33.000 I miss him too.

01:00:34.000 It's important that I speak to him immediately.

01:00:36.000 He must be spoken with.

01:00:38.000 And spoken to.

01:00:46.000 Takes him a second.

01:00:47.000 Hannah Mountie.

01:00:48.000 6'2, 250 pounds.

01:00:52.000 I'm 5'10.5, 192 pounds.

01:00:56.000 I think Hannah could beat me up.

01:01:00.000 But I could beat up Crip Daddy.

01:01:02.000 That's true.

01:01:03.000 Especially if he's playing Elden Ring.

01:01:07.000 Elden Ring.

01:01:08.000 See, it's okay that he plays video games.

01:01:09.000 He literally can't move.

01:01:11.000 Oh, he could hear you.

01:01:13.000 Oh, ha ha.

01:01:14.000 Hi.

01:01:17.000 I can move.

01:01:19.000 Well, not a lot.

01:01:21.000 I'd like to play video games.

01:01:24.000 How do you do that?

01:01:24.000 You use your hands or your toes?

01:01:27.000 My penis.

01:01:30.000 So we were just showcasing a bunch of fantastic female athletes, Leah Thompson being our favorite one with her amazing long stroke.

01:01:40.000 But we were also saying you have to watch out with a lot of these women because when they get drunk, they let their penises hang out.

01:01:46.000 Yeah, that's true.

01:01:47.000 I remember the first time I saw my first lady penis.

01:01:50.000 I miss my dad every day.

01:01:53.000 Would you be mad if I entered the Special Olympics?

01:01:57.000 No, you're overqualified.

01:01:59.000 Thank you.

01:02:00.000 You're more retarded than anybody I know.

01:02:03.000 Have you ever seen the criteria they have for the Special Olympics?

01:02:07.000 It's so bizarre.

01:02:09.000 No, the closest thing that I have ever gotten to the Special Olympics was going to see The Ringer.

01:02:17.000 The Ring?

01:02:18.000 The Ringer?

01:02:20.000 Oh, right.

01:02:20.000 Yes.

01:02:21.000 With Johnny Knoxville.

01:02:22.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:02:23.000 Yeah, that movie did really badly.

01:02:25.000 I loved it.

01:02:26.000 I thought it was great.

01:02:27.000 Yeah, it was good.

01:02:28.000 I think people can't handle people with Down syndrome, so they'd rather.

01:02:31.000 The new liberal thing is like, I don't want to offend anyone, so just get rid of them.

01:02:36.000 Oh, yeah, it was like that.

01:02:37.000 Even in like when I went to high school, I wasn't a part of the special needs program, but I rode the same short bus as them.

01:02:46.000 And it was like they had the black leg.

01:02:50.000 Nobody interacted with them at all.

01:02:53.000 Really?

01:02:54.000 How did you do?

01:02:56.000 I was great.

01:02:57.000 I was kind of a, everybody loved me because I was funny.

01:03:00.000 Huh.

01:03:01.000 And they just didn't want to go near them because they were scared.

01:03:04.000 That's always something I always believed.

01:03:06.000 Like, back when I was a kid in the 70s, retards were everywhere.

01:03:10.000 Yeah.

01:03:10.000 And you joke around with them.

01:03:12.000 You'd even sort of make fun of them, not in a mean way, but like, there's fucking Eddie with his hat on sideways again.

01:03:18.000 Yeah.

01:03:19.000 And they loved being part of.

01:03:21.000 I remember there was this kid, a retard named Fat Pat, we called him.

01:03:24.000 He was a fat guy named Pat.

01:03:26.000 And we'd always pretend he could beat us up.

01:03:29.000 He was a big, huge guy.

01:03:30.000 He probably could, but he would like hit us, and then we would go flying and smash into lockers and stuff.

01:03:35.000 And he would be laughing his fucking head off.

01:03:38.000 Yeah, no.

01:03:40.000 You would play the fire with that shit, dude.

01:03:42.000 That's retard string.

01:03:46.000 God damn.

01:03:47.000 They really didn't care back then.

01:03:49.000 Yeah.

01:03:50.000 What about the thing, though, where they have special needs kids as like the king of the prom king and all that?

01:03:56.000 Oh, I hate that shit.

01:03:58.000 That's the stuff that pisses me off more than anything, especially because it's always like, oh, we let him get the homecoming touchdown.

01:04:06.000 It's like, no, you didn't.

01:04:08.000 You just fucking wanted to feel good about yourself for a minute, so you let the kid with Down syndrome get that touchdown.

01:04:16.000 I hate that shit, too.

01:04:17.000 It's so, like that when they have an MMA fight in the octagon, and there's some special needs kid beating the living shit out of Conor McGregor or something, and you go, who are you helping?

01:04:29.000 Like, this is just, I get when it's a four-year-old and you convince him he's Batman and he saves the city because he has cancer and he's going to die in a week.

01:04:38.000 Okay, go nuts.

01:04:40.000 But when you have adults with Down syndrome beating the shit out of their guy, it's just, it's pandering.

01:04:45.000 I don't know.

01:04:46.000 I didn't like that Batman kid.

01:04:47.000 He was a fucking nerd.

01:04:49.000 I was actually robbing a bank that day and I was shit scared that he was going to catch me.

01:04:55.000 And you have to shoot him.

01:04:56.000 It's just appropriate.

01:04:58.000 Then we had at a baseball Game, there was a guy who was like that level of like speech impairment, and he sang the national anthem.

01:05:08.000 So he's like, and you're like, that's like the Down syndrome model that was the Victoria's Secret chick.

01:05:21.000 Yeah, no, it's funny you mentioned that.

01:05:24.000 I discovered a whole rabbit hole of like people with Down syndrome that are like into drag in England.

01:05:31.000 It's a huge thing.

01:05:33.000 Yeah, it's called drag syndrome.

01:05:35.000 It's in Britain.

01:05:36.000 It's so fucking, I just discovered that.

01:05:39.000 And it feels dirty.

01:05:40.000 It does.

01:05:40.000 Like it feels very weird.

01:05:42.000 Like when your kid has like a fucking dildo and you're like, you don't want to make a big scene?

01:05:49.000 So you kind of like, put that down.

01:05:51.000 You know, you just feel dirty about it.

01:05:53.000 Yeah, drag, the whole point of drag is like, I'm not ashamed to be gay anymore.

01:05:57.000 In fact, I love it.

01:05:58.000 Hey, world.

01:05:59.000 Okay, I understand that.

01:06:01.000 Whether that's good or bad is irrelevant.

01:06:03.000 That's just the premise, right?

01:06:04.000 But finding someone with Down syndrome is hard.

01:06:07.000 There's like one per village max.

01:06:10.000 But you assembled all these.

01:06:12.000 So you must have had to get like 100% of the Down syndrome people in all of like South Britain, you know, like Liverpool down.

01:06:23.000 And they all are secretly gay?

01:06:26.000 I don't think so.

01:06:28.000 I felt like it was a prank that just developed into a movement of like, hey, I bet we could make him think he's gay.

01:06:35.000 Well, then it turned into this.

01:06:37.000 The beauty of it is assholes like you and me are now being amused.

01:06:42.000 I mean, that's the kind of thing that we would do just because we're evil human beings.

01:06:48.000 And now the social justice warriors are doing pranks that are a little bit more evil than our wildest dreams.

01:06:56.000 It's insane.

01:06:58.000 Another thing I noticed is that British people with Down syndrome just sound like normal, tired British people.

01:07:09.000 But Americans with Down syndrome, they sound really fucked up, like you said.

01:07:14.000 So I think the only conclusion is that British people are just naturally retarded.

01:07:20.000 Yeah.

01:07:20.000 Well, they're smarter, too.

01:07:22.000 They sound smart.

01:07:23.000 So their retards are like you and I. Yeah, that makes sense.

01:07:28.000 But another thing that's like this is when they have like some hideous fat pig and she's the prom queen or on like the cover of Vogue.

01:07:36.000 If we were like mean jocks, right?

01:07:39.000 Oh, I remember there was one thing where they had this fat girl and she would dress up like all the Disney princesses, right?

01:07:45.000 Snow White and all that shit.

01:07:47.000 And the premise of her little performance art thing was, I'm just as pretty as these girls, but she just looked like a pig in lipstick.

01:07:56.000 So if we were like mean jocks, we go, hey, let's dress up that fat chick like Snow White and we can laugh at how fat she is.

01:08:03.000 And then the woke people are doing it for us.

01:08:05.000 And we're like, wow, you guys are a little meaner than us, but okay, I'll take it.

01:08:10.000 Yeah, I'm not mad about it.

01:08:11.000 This is a win for everybody involved.

01:08:13.000 Yeah.

01:08:15.000 They're appealing to our darkest, darkest senses of humor.

01:08:18.000 And I'm here for it.

01:08:20.000 All right, buddy.

01:08:21.000 Thanks for coming to the show.

01:08:22.000 Can you come back tomorrow?

01:08:23.000 Absolutely.

01:08:24.000 All right.

01:08:25.000 I love you.

01:08:26.000 Love you more.

01:08:27.000 Goodbye.

01:08:29.000 I love you too.

01:08:30.000 Mark my words.

01:08:31.000 I'm going to fuck that kid this year.

01:08:34.000 Damn.

01:08:35.000 Gonna have sex with him.

01:08:36.000 I think he's in Chicago.

01:08:38.000 I'd like it to be consensual, but I will rape him if he says no.

01:08:45.000 That's going to be.

01:08:46.000 That is a commitment we are making on the show today.

01:08:49.000 Write it down.

01:08:51.000 In your calendar.

01:08:52.000 And it doesn't turn you off that not only does he like video games, but he's really good at them, and he proudly displays his skills.

01:09:01.000 Oh, yeah.

01:09:01.000 Is he on your Twitch?

01:09:04.000 He's on just regular Twitter, but he's got clips of him whipping the poop out of these giants and stuff.

01:09:12.000 And this is a very hard game.

01:09:14.000 And this is a very hard game.

01:09:15.000 But he crush.

01:09:17.000 He did like a crush?

01:09:20.000 So he beat that guy up?

01:09:21.000 Yep.

01:09:22.000 He's got his purple orbs.

01:09:24.000 Does everyone get the purple orbs?

01:09:26.000 I don't know.

01:09:26.000 That might just be kind of...

01:09:27.000 Is everybody on this planet a tree planter?

01:09:30.000 So he's good at that.

01:09:34.000 So he threw some purple orbs at a giant until the giant died.

01:09:38.000 Right.

01:09:38.000 And you can't do that?

01:09:40.000 Not as good as him.

01:09:41.000 Do you have purple orbs?

01:09:42.000 I don't have purple orbs.

01:09:44.000 Oh, how do you get the purple orbs?

01:09:45.000 I don't have that game, but I've been thinking about getting it.

01:09:48.000 So one of the reasons you don't have that particular orb is that you don't own the game at all.

01:09:55.000 Yeah.

01:09:56.000 I think you need the game to get the orbs.

01:09:58.000 Yeah.

01:09:59.000 This has been a great conversation, Ryan.

01:10:01.000 Thank you for that.

01:10:02.000 Let's get away from it and get to the mailbag.

01:10:05.000 Yes.

01:10:08.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.

01:10:12.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

01:10:18.000 Let me touch it.

01:10:20.000 I drank whiskey last night.

01:10:22.000 I have a bit of a headache.

01:10:24.000 I'm allowed to drink it on Sundays.

01:10:25.000 Yep.

01:10:26.000 I had fast food yesterday.

01:10:28.000 Oh.

01:10:29.000 But you're not doing Lent.

01:10:31.000 I am.

01:10:32.000 But you're not Catholic.

01:10:33.000 Right, but I participate in as many of the things as possible just anyway.

01:10:39.000 Even though I'm not, because I'm practicing, because I think I might convert to Catholicism.

01:10:44.000 Or like Orthodox Church.

01:10:47.000 But that seems a little like wild.

01:10:50.000 Yeah.

01:10:51.000 It is.

01:10:51.000 Have you heard about the Orthodox?

01:10:53.000 Yes, I'm familiar with the children.

01:10:54.000 It's really it's a lot of I mean, I don't know.

01:10:59.000 It seems like hard mode Catholicism.

01:11:02.000 T-shirt idea.

01:11:03.000 A very simple U-Penn women's swimming shirt would be funny.

01:11:08.000 Yeah, it would be.

01:11:10.000 We could probably get in big shit for that, but that would be funny too.

01:11:13.000 Getting sued.

01:11:14.000 They'd probably just send you a cease and desist.

01:11:16.000 I think their case could be we get to take all the profits from your U Penn swimming shirts.

01:11:21.000 Okay.

01:11:22.000 Here's $230.

01:11:24.000 You win.

01:11:31.000 Possible dollar sign hatred explained.

01:11:35.000 I've noticed something odd about my Hydro-Quebec bill.

01:11:39.000 That is the Con Edison of Quebec, Canada.

01:11:42.000 The dollar signs were all to the right of the number, so I googled it and tabar nac de caudes, These French-Canadian hose heads have been rocking the reverse dollar sign this whole time.

01:11:50.000 How has it taken me this long to realize it?

01:11:53.000 To which I would respond, baby monster, how the fuck have you not noticed that in Quebec they put the dollar sign on the other side?

01:12:01.000 You live in that province and you haven't noticed that?

01:12:05.000 It's because it's French.

01:12:07.000 They do it in France, too.

01:12:10.000 Maybe that explains it.

01:12:11.000 Your subconscious ill will for Pepsis gets triggered every time.

01:12:14.000 No, I never hated Pepsis, by the way.

01:12:16.000 I just saw them as below me.

01:12:18.000 They're like shitty white people.

01:12:22.000 I mean, and they feel that way about themselves, too.

01:12:24.000 When we were kids in school, whenever we played a French school, we always destroyed them in anything.

01:12:29.000 Soccer, baseball, hockey, anything.

01:12:31.000 They're just shitty human beings.

01:12:34.000 I don't know why.

01:12:36.000 They terrorized us, literally, and blew up buildings because they hated the English.

01:12:40.000 The separatists ruined their own province the same way that these radical leftists are ruining America.

01:12:46.000 So they're definitely also detestable, but.

01:12:51.000 Okay.

01:12:55.000 This is from a guy named Dirty.

01:12:57.000 Are you guys making up fake names because you're scared I'll read your name and you'll get fired from work because you sent a letter into a show?

01:13:06.000 That's a very out there level of pussy, is it not?

01:13:12.000 That's pretty embarrassing.

01:13:14.000 I believe that you are a pussy if you're anonymous online, by the way.

01:13:17.000 All of our commenters on our website are anonymous.

01:13:20.000 That's gay.

01:13:22.000 Put your name in your face there.

01:13:24.000 I could get fired.

01:13:25.000 Yeah.

01:13:26.000 Get fired.

01:13:28.000 I seriously thought Maddie was just trolling Ryan and making up prison stories so that he could trick Ryan into eating some nasty bullshit, but then he ate it too.

01:13:35.000 And now I'm not so sure.

01:13:37.000 Yes?

01:13:38.000 We don't lie on this show.

01:13:40.000 We do pranks.

01:13:42.000 Like, I never fired Ryan.

01:13:45.000 Joe Tonelli never worked here.

01:13:47.000 Here's a little inside gossip.

01:13:48.000 Remember, Joe Tonelli did two shows, and then we chased him out into the Bronx.

01:13:54.000 All that was pre-taped on a weekend because he only had weekends off.

01:13:58.000 And we made him change his shirt.

01:14:01.000 And when I chased him out into the streets of the Bronx, it wasn't near our studio.

01:14:04.000 I'm not going to dox my own studio.

01:14:07.000 And we had people explain to us Johnny Leber.

01:14:12.000 Thanks, guys.

01:14:12.000 You know that was Ryan, right?

01:14:14.000 You know that Leber is how Chinese people pronounce L's and Rs.

01:14:18.000 There's some Antifa or whatever that messaged me.

01:14:22.000 I could see if I could find it.

01:14:24.000 But their banner picture is the address that we included for that studio.

01:14:29.000 Really?

01:14:30.000 Like, we got you, motherfucker.

01:14:32.000 Like, yeah, you got us.

01:14:34.000 It's fine.

01:14:35.000 Yeah, it didn't occur to us we'd be doxing our own location.

01:14:38.000 Idiot.

01:14:39.000 And I wonder if anyone's gone by there, because that's not a very safe street.

01:14:44.000 You don't want to go fucking shit up on that street.

01:14:46.000 It's shitty here, but like that's way shittier.

01:14:49.000 Yeah.

01:14:50.000 I purposely chose the very worst street.

01:14:52.000 I do know that little bakery, though.

01:14:54.000 That's a nice bakery.

01:14:56.000 Head of Ukrainian military field medic saying on Ukrainian TV, we will castrate every Russian soldier, POW, because they are cockroaches.

01:15:05.000 Ooh.

01:15:12.000 That reminds me of 2-9.

01:15:14.000 What's taking you so long, shit-lips?

01:15:16.000 I was trying to look for that message.

01:15:26.000 Am I supposed to understand this?

01:15:32.000 Is this literally an untranslated Russian excerpt?

01:15:35.000 Who do you think I am?

01:15:36.000 The smartest guy in the world?

01:15:38.000 Well, and Munchinovnchkashk.

01:15:42.000 Go to 2-9, though.

01:15:43.000 I thought this was kind of cool.

01:15:44.000 I think it's some Jewish mayor in Ukraine who must have to deal with a lot of bullshit.

01:15:49.000 But this is 2-9.

01:15:52.000 He said that he'll be, well, I'll let you pull it up because I want to phrase it exactly.

01:15:57.000 But what the fuck?

01:15:58.000 I love Ukrainians now.

01:16:02.000 Deputy Mayor of Nurfrovrosk.

01:16:04.000 I looked it up.

01:16:05.000 It's in Ukraine.

01:16:07.000 Check out his latest post on Telegram.

01:16:09.000 So look at the last picture.

01:16:12.000 It's official.

01:16:13.000 The decision has been made.

01:16:15.000 All Krodovites killed on the territory of Dneprovovsk region will be sewn up and buried in pigskins.

01:16:23.000 Thank you, meatpackers of the city.

01:16:25.000 Let's see how you will perceive their in quote-unquote heaven, bastards.

01:16:32.000 Cool war, you guys.

01:16:37.000 I wish we would do shit like that more in Muslim wars.

01:16:41.000 I bet my mom's take on it is why is it like inside of a pig uncomfortable?

01:16:46.000 Well, they're dead already.

01:16:48.000 Why is your mom Jewish?

01:16:49.000 I don't know.

01:16:50.000 She kind of talks like that.

01:16:52.000 New York and Jew.

01:16:53.000 I realized because I was trying to get to the bottom of like how southerners have so many awesome little quips that they're like, well, my ass was so, I was so tense you couldn't drive a nail up my ass with a sledgehammer.

01:17:05.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:17:05.000 And I was like, all of mine are, I tried it with a Southerner on Instagram Live, and I was like, let's just try it out.

01:17:11.000 Howdy.

01:17:12.000 And he's like, howdy.

01:17:13.000 And I'm like, how you doing?

01:17:14.000 I'm like, not too shabby.

01:17:15.000 And I was like, New York phrases are Jewish.

01:17:18.000 Yeah.

01:17:19.000 A lot of it comes from Jewish and Italian.

01:17:20.000 Yeah.

01:17:22.000 And I think the South has a lot of Scots and Irish.

01:17:25.000 And they're good at banter.

01:17:26.000 They're good and drunk and they're big poets.

01:17:28.000 I remember one of the first times I was in the South, this guy's, he had pills.

01:17:32.000 He's like, and Coke.

01:17:33.000 And I was like, I don't like pills.

01:17:34.000 He's like, do you like to go up or down?

01:17:36.000 I go, I'm an up guy.

01:17:38.000 And he goes, me too.

01:17:38.000 I like to get higher than a Georgia pine.

01:17:41.000 Yeah.

01:17:42.000 Where do you learn all those fucking things?

01:17:45.000 Someone sent us this.

01:17:47.000 Western media before February 2022.

01:17:50.000 Far-right fighters from Europe fight for Ukraine.

01:17:53.000 Ukraine celebrates Nazi collaborator.

01:17:56.000 Ukraine designates national holiday to commemorate Nazi collaborator.

01:18:00.000 So there's a lot of anti-Nazi stuff about Ukraine.

01:18:04.000 And then Western media after February 2022.

01:18:09.000 Slava Ukraini.

01:18:12.000 Hmm.

01:18:12.000 Yes.

01:18:14.000 Did you put up the picture?

01:18:15.000 I can't find any of these.

01:18:16.000 I'm searching it.

01:18:18.000 Head of Ukrainian military.

01:18:20.000 Oh, okay.

01:18:21.000 I skipped like one thing.

01:18:26.000 Got it.

01:18:26.000 Why is it rocket science to go through the mail?

01:18:33.000 Hello?

01:18:34.000 I'm not getting the same thing that you're getting.

01:18:37.000 If I search it, I'll find it.

01:18:40.000 Head of Ukrainian military field medic saying on Ukraine.

01:18:43.000 Okay, that's the one that we just showed.

01:18:44.000 Yeah, that was the last one.

01:18:45.000 And then he goes, for sure, there's no Nazis in Ukraine.

01:18:49.000 It's the next fucking one.

01:18:51.000 It arrived eight minutes earlier.

01:18:54.000 Right, but I...

01:18:54.000 What's going on with your mail?

01:18:55.000 They're not showing up, so if I search them, they will.

01:18:58.000 Why?

01:18:59.000 I don't know.

01:19:00.000 We'll fix it.

01:19:01.000 I just closed it and opened it.

01:19:05.000 Okay.

01:19:08.000 All right, that's enough, Ukraine shit.

01:19:15.000 Daylight savings time.

01:19:17.000 Someone's upset about that.

01:19:18.000 I don't care.

01:19:19.000 Someone's trying to send me 8 million megabytes of Sopranos clips on some weird software that ends with MKV.

01:19:27.000 Stop sending me that shit.

01:19:34.000 Let's do one more, shall we?

01:19:37.000 This is called The Toad They Call the Bald Eagle, if you will.

01:19:41.000 Dearest Gavin and Ryan Sen, while blattered on St. Patty's Day, my English fiancé introduced me to one of her mom's woohoo psycho tea leaves reading friends on shitbook.

01:19:51.000 I drank about 18 buds, so it might have been more funny at the time for obvious reasons, but perhaps you share my ironic sense of humor, seeing as how you are a raging alcoholic.

01:20:01.000 P.S. I purchased the Clown World shirt that I'll be wearing publicly in Los Angeles as an overt, subversive fuck you to the liberal douchebags I'm around all day in Hollywood since I can't wear political attire at work.

01:20:11.000 You can say my name because I'm ready to get fired.

01:20:13.000 Be brave and never stop fighting.

01:20:15.000 The Oxford comma is for you, Faggot.

01:20:18.000 His name's Paul.

01:20:20.000 Paul, speaking of commas, whenever you do a setup in a sentence, it needs a comma.

01:20:25.000 So while blattered on St. Patty's Day, comma, my English fiancé introduced me to.

01:20:32.000 Have you got the video there yet?

01:20:35.000 Mr. Lost?

01:20:37.000 March 17th is the last one I have, March 18th.

01:20:40.000 And I just rebooted both.

01:20:43.000 This is called The Toad They Call the Bald Eagle.

01:20:47.000 Why does your email not work, dude?

01:20:48.000 Come on.

01:20:50.000 Okay.

01:20:50.000 Facebook link.

01:20:55.000 Interesting.

01:20:57.000 Well, so I hope Facebook doesn't shut this one off, but I'm going to give it a try.

01:21:04.000 I heard some sad news today.

01:21:06.000 One of the main home that I go to to entertain, Trillee, they had a wonderful lady there called Pearl, who I had the privilege of getting to know this year, or last year rather.

01:21:20.000 What year?

01:21:21.000 I don't know where we are anymore.

01:21:24.000 And she was just wonderful lady.

01:21:29.000 Skip ahead.

01:21:32.000 You were amazing.

01:21:33.000 You were a one-off.

01:21:36.000 Her job is silent, folks.

01:21:41.000 Thanks, Paul.

01:21:42.000 That letter sucked.

01:21:43.000 You're an asshole.

01:21:47.000 Okay, this is.

01:21:48.000 We'll end on an up note.

01:21:49.000 Hey, Faggots, what's up, Maddie?

01:21:50.000 Just put a ring on it.

01:21:51.000 Is right.

01:21:52.000 I'm having twins.

01:21:53.000 Thanks for making my life better.

01:21:54.000 Wish I was younger for this shit.

01:21:56.000 The show is awesome.

01:21:57.000 I miss do's and don'ts.

01:21:58.000 Funniest shit I've ever seen.

01:22:00.000 Ryan's Dennis Miller is a shit.

01:22:02.000 Gays are made of.

01:22:04.000 Any advice for two boys?

01:22:07.000 Dennis Miller is the shit gays are made of.

01:22:10.000 What does that mean?

01:22:12.000 Ryan's Dennis Miller is the shit gays are made of.

01:22:16.000 Is the shit gays are made of?

01:22:17.000 That doesn't sound good.

01:22:20.000 Is the shit gays are made of.

01:22:23.000 Anyway, any advice for two boys?

01:22:25.000 Get them into sports would be my advice.

01:22:29.000 Keeps kids out of trouble, keeps them focused, gives them a sense of worth, gives them a crew, a gang to party with.

01:22:37.000 Sports is the best thing for a kid.

01:22:40.000 Punk was great for me because I was getting all my anger out in the mosh pit and all that.

01:22:46.000 But these days, I don't know.

01:22:48.000 There's too many drugs going around in all sort of youth subcultures.

01:22:53.000 Sports seems much safer.

01:22:55.000 All right.

01:22:56.000 It's time for the video finale.

01:23:15.000 This clip is so awesome.

01:23:18.000 Joe Biggs' lawyer sent it to me without me asking.

01:23:21.000 I'd already seen it.

01:23:22.000 I went on my phone and tried to buy an app that helps you download Instagram videos, but they wanted $10 a month.

01:23:30.000 $10 a month, you should get something like a band network of Misfit toys like we have here.

01:23:38.000 But my heart hurts.

01:23:40.000 Is that normal?

01:23:42.000 No.

01:23:42.000 I think it's that fucking pre-workout gorilla mode.

01:23:46.000 Are you taking one scoop or half scoop?

01:23:47.000 One scoop.

01:23:49.000 My son, I caught him taking two scoops.

01:23:51.000 What?

01:23:52.000 Yeah.

01:23:52.000 No.

01:23:53.000 I was like, good luck getting to bed tonight.

01:23:55.000 You don't need to do that.

01:23:56.000 You know what he said to me at the dinner table last night?

01:23:58.000 He goes, he's got this unbelievable attitude these days where I'm an idiot and everything's gay.

01:24:05.000 And he goes, something like, is it weird I know more about Steve-O than you and he used to be your friend?

01:24:15.000 Weird flex, dude.

01:24:17.000 That is a weird flex.

01:24:18.000 Did you say weird flex, dude?

01:24:20.000 No, I'm trying to keep things cool.

01:24:21.000 So I'm just like, I hung out with him a couple times.

01:24:25.000 I wouldn't say he's my friend.

01:24:28.000 Because my wife got mad at me last time we fought.

01:24:31.000 So I'm just going to save the fights for a doozy.

01:24:34.000 But yeah, being with a teenager who's just starting testosterone is not sort of, but exactly like being a corrections officer with a prisoner.

01:24:45.000 Exactly the same.

01:24:47.000 Why is he taking pre-workout?

01:24:49.000 He stole it from me.

01:24:50.000 Oh, just to do it.

01:24:52.000 He got called up to the high school baseball team.

01:24:54.000 He's so good.

01:24:55.000 Oh, okay.

01:24:56.000 Yeah, maybe for sports or.

01:25:01.000 But yeah, like, you don't always tell a corrections officer to fuck off.

01:25:05.000 Sometimes you're like, crazy storm last night.

01:25:09.000 My window was rattling or whatever.

01:25:12.000 So he'll say it, occasionally say a normal thing to me.

01:25:14.000 But for the most part, it's just like, move along.

01:25:18.000 I get contraband out of the room, like a cell phone on no screen day, that kind of stuff.

01:25:25.000 Sit down.

01:25:26.000 He's doing a hunger strike, just eating snacks.

01:25:31.000 I'm told to come back around around 15.

01:25:34.000 That's definitely what my daughter did.

01:25:35.000 My daughter and I are best pals now.

01:25:37.000 We watch movies.

01:25:39.000 She introduces me to bands that I missed, like Dystopia and Christian Death.

01:25:46.000 I like when she's in the car because she plays her music and it's all good.

01:25:50.000 And then we listen to the bands that we both love, like Operation Ivy and The Dead Milkman.

01:25:54.000 And we both know all the words.

01:25:56.000 It's great.

01:25:56.000 I didn't introduce her to Operation Ivy.

01:25:58.000 She discovered that on her own.

01:26:00.000 Sold.

01:26:03.000 So a big part of being a dad is just being there.

01:26:09.000 Being attentive.

01:26:12.000 You know what I mean?

01:26:13.000 Like, wait, I didn't explain that well.

01:26:15.000 I don't mean being attentive.

01:26:16.000 I mean just showing up.

01:26:18.000 That's it.

01:26:18.000 Show up for work.

01:26:20.000 Be around.

01:26:22.000 And sometimes that means nothing.

01:26:23.000 A lot of corrections officers are probably just opening the cell, closing the cell.

01:26:27.000 Canteen, go there, lights out, that kind of shit.

01:26:31.000 Sometimes, you know, it's not very hands-on.

01:26:35.000 But sometimes it is.

01:26:36.000 So I would say when your kids do want to hang out with you, when they're young or at any time, jump on it because soon they're not going to want you around.

01:26:47.000 Okay, sorry.

01:26:48.000 Got a little heavy there.

01:26:49.000 Let's lighten it up with a very fun video, which gives it away in the title.

01:26:57.000 Tonight, a local dog shelter, or a local shelter dog, rather, is looking for a soft landing after being dumped by his owners because they say he's gay.

01:27:06.000 Thought you heard it all, right?

01:27:08.000 A Stanley County Animal Shelter Facebook post says the dog's owner surrendered him to the shelter after he humped another male dog, which dogs do.

01:27:17.000 Fesco, the shelter says, is about four to five years old, weighs about 50 pounds.

01:27:22.000 They say he likes other people, he likes other animals, he's a good boy.

01:27:26.000 The shelter is asking for local rescues to step up and take Fesco into foster before he is adopted.

01:27:34.000 Local county shelters across our area, Drew, they do so much work with such little resources.

01:27:41.000 Any way that we can help ease the burden, step in and pull animals out and get them into foster or adopt them.

01:27:49.000 Including gay dogs.

01:27:50.000 And that guy looks like he's going to find a new home real quick.

01:27:53.000 Fesco's adorable.

01:27:55.000 And so many great opportunities there for some jovial levity.

01:28:02.000 Like she should have said they work hard for all the dogs in the neighborhood, including gay dogs.

01:28:08.000 Barry?

01:28:09.000 That would have been good.

01:28:12.000 They should have taken it totally seriously and go, the gay dog who had never been with another male dog before is single.

01:28:22.000 So many red carpets laid out for you there.

01:28:25.000 I guess that dog's looking for a different type of bone.

01:28:28.000 Back to you, Leslie.

01:28:30.000 We're all such pussies these days.

01:28:32.000 Come on.

01:28:33.000 I saw some clip once where the newscaster couldn't stop laughing because the guest they just had had a monocle.

01:28:42.000 You know, like the one eye glass thing?

01:28:45.000 And he couldn't continue the interview because he said, when was the last time you saw a monocle in real life?

01:28:51.000 And he was hysterically laughing.

01:28:53.000 Those are the good old days.

01:28:55.000 I got it.

01:28:56.000 It's Bob Schieffer.

01:28:58.000 Oh, yeah, this was it.

01:29:01.000 Until now, Pluto is no longer a storm on the planet.

01:29:06.000 In the 1990s, we began discovering other bodies of the same nature in the same part of the solar system.

01:29:13.000 There's a whole swarm of them.

01:29:14.000 And therefore, Pluto's status was called into question.

01:29:17.000 So in my view, there are two kinds of bodies: the planets and the planetoids.

01:29:22.000 Which prefers one?

01:29:23.000 What you seem to be saying, Sir Patrick, is it's just too little to be a planet.

01:29:26.000 Is that right?

01:29:27.000 Pluto is smaller than our moon.

01:29:29.000 If we call Pluto a planet, there are others.

01:29:31.000 Xena, Veluna, Terron, Ceres, all.

01:29:36.000 And yes, I did ask him how long he's been wearing that monocle.

01:29:42.000 And he said since he was 16.

01:29:45.000 That's the news.

01:29:46.000 We hope you can join us here tomorrow.

01:29:47.000 I'm Bob Schieffer.

01:29:49.000 Good night.

01:29:50.000 Wait, did I remembered him dying?

01:29:53.000 You always remember things cooler than they were.

01:29:55.000 Yeah.

01:29:58.000 That was a mild snicker.

01:30:01.000 Are you sure you showed the whole clip?

01:30:03.000 I'm sure.

01:30:03.000 They were sending off.

01:30:05.000 In my memory, he says, who the fuck wears a monocle?

01:30:09.000 And he's dying, dying.

01:30:11.000 Like he needs a defibrillator.

01:30:14.000 This was like...

01:30:16.000 He's wearing a monocle since he was 16.

01:30:18.000 At any rate, thanks for tuning in.

01:30:19.000 That's it?

01:30:20.000 Yeah.

01:30:21.000 What the fuck?

01:30:22.000 You pictured him like having a stroke and getting resuscitated.

01:30:24.000 I thought he was fired.

01:30:25.000 And then when he gets resuscitated, he keeps laughing.

01:30:27.000 Yeah, I thought it was his last show on Earth.

01:30:30.000 Huh.

01:30:31.000 Anyway, folks, that's been the moral of the story today.

01:30:34.000 The kids, leave the kids alone.

01:30:36.000 The egg hasn't hatched.

01:30:37.000 Stop messing with the egg.

01:30:39.000 You're scrambling those eggs.

01:30:41.000 And we have to be more vocal about that.

01:30:43.000 We have to be braver.

01:30:46.000 We have to get in trouble.

01:30:47.000 And if that means losing your job, lose your job.

01:30:50.000 And then pick yourself back up and keep going.

01:30:53.000 Get fired.

01:30:54.000 Get in trouble.

01:30:55.000 Be brave.

01:30:56.000 And never stop fighting.

01:31:15.000 You should have walked away.

01:31:19.000 Why far spent you fighting on?

01:31:25.000 Couldn't kill me.

01:31:28.000 You should have walked away.

01:31:32.000 Why far spent you fighting on?

01:31:36.000 So we are right away and we're wasting our time.

01:31:40.000 Nothing in the fake can take control of my life.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - March 21, 2022

S4E98 - WOMEN IN SPORTS

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