S4EP134 - BITCHES BE CRAZY
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 19 minutes
Words per Minute
153.72418
Hate Speech Sentences
112
Summary
This week, the boys talk about a new song, a new DJ, and the new face swap. Plus, the return of the face swap! Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness is out now, and it's a good one.
Transcript
00:00:13.000
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness.
00:00:36.000
Woman, woman, woman about the moment inside for the people.
00:00:53.000
Nice and easy is a song featuring Rodney P sent in by a baby monster.
00:01:01.000
I like to say a few things about the band, mostly so I don't have to pay for their music.
00:01:09.000
Bass Nectar is a DJ from San Francisco charged with sexual, being sued, not charged, sued, which is I'm always dubious of that.
00:01:28.000
So I think he had a 16-year-old fan that he would fly to his various gigs and fornicate with.
00:01:38.000
And if you pay for the plane ticket, that's human trafficking.
00:01:44.000
It seems like there's real human trafficking going on.
00:01:47.000
Like we get a van full of immigrants pouring out onto the street.
00:01:51.000
Or remember that whole arrest with like 27 kids?
00:02:00.000
I don't like either, but guys who fuck legally 17-year-olds, like the stray cats, sexy and 17, and then gays who groom young boys and girls who are like eight.
00:02:14.000
With the former, it used to be the norm, much younger, like that groupie that Jimmy Page used to fuck, the Puerto Rican chick.
00:02:30.000
They were like the biggest groupies in New York.
00:02:44.000
Elvis', I think Priscilla Presley was a teenager when he met her.
00:02:53.000
This is a review from my family who had an affair and saw it without me, which hurt deep down.
00:03:03.000
Oh, wait, sorry, let me finish the first point.
00:03:07.000
And then Rodney P, he wasn't soliciting pics from young girls.
00:03:29.000
I guess it gets to a point where when you're a pariah like that, you can only collab with other pariahs.
00:03:40.000
Yeah, the three, Josh canceled, Anthony canceled, me canceled.
00:03:46.000
I've been staving off talking to you about it because I want it to be fresh for the show.
00:03:56.000
And I'm so vain that when I saw you out there and you were doing Donald Trump and people could see that it was Ryan, but then they could look above and see the face swap, which was my plan from day one.
00:04:08.000
Did you watch my Donald Trump intro and stuff, or were you in the green room?
00:04:10.000
Well, I was peeking through a vagina crack in the curtains like this.
00:04:16.000
It's very distracting if you're watching a show and you see a head.
00:04:19.000
So I haven't really seen anyone's set or your shit, but I could see you from the side of the stage a little bit.
00:04:25.000
And I was looking at you slay, and I was just like, I'm a genius.
00:04:32.000
Making, like, having the face, like, I wasn't nervous at all for some reason.
00:04:35.000
I think it's because of that, because like the face tech, we planned it out.
00:04:42.000
So I kind of was doing this job there on the screen.
00:04:45.000
I had a little controller that could fade out the screen, fade it back in.
00:04:53.000
I had about three bullet points for each thing, and then I just kind of figured it would fill it in.
00:05:02.000
I was really nervous all week, and then I was at the gym.
00:05:11.000
This is a chance to say whatever the fuck we want.
00:05:28.000
But you couldn't, like, books are gay, I said, on stage.
00:05:35.000
It did feel great to know that everybody in the crowd, it was, you know, like with Josh, Denny, he was saying that sometimes you play a big show and they're not all there to see you.
00:05:47.000
And they know the bits and they get the bird, which is the bald eagle and all that kind of stuff.
00:05:57.000
I think Anthony and Josh were surprised by how many hotties there were.
00:06:07.000
We did a Q ⁇ A, which was stupid because everyone's wasted at that point.
00:06:11.000
I was sad I couldn't hang out with Prowboys because we did the show, the podcast.
00:06:17.000
There was a lot of money from the meet and greet.
00:06:19.000
I think it was $100 a ticket, but that took two hours.
00:06:25.000
I wasn't exhausted until the very end until you could see the end of the line.
00:06:32.000
But it was, everybody was so excited that it kind of makes you excited again.
00:06:36.000
Yeah, it's nice to have your ass kissed for two hours when everyone in the world hates you, but so many selfies you can fucking do.
00:06:44.000
And I suck at it and I want to talk to people, so I end up slowing the entire line down.
00:06:49.000
So Anthony eventually had to come over and he goes, you don't have to blow them.
00:06:54.000
But he was chatting them up too, probably because he could see that it wasn't moving too fast.
00:07:03.000
I did Bud Lights all day, but we did a lot of Bud Lights.
00:11:40.000
a headband on and he was dancing he was jumping up and down for like all the tiffany whatever songs oh that guy and i noticed that his headband was slipping a bit and it was revealing that his hairline is here no joke yeah it was bad that's why he was wearing the headband right so she couldn't see he's 40.
00:12:57.000
had some footage coming why you have some other things to say about your trip i just had no i just had a little bit well josh licash's buddy that led us through all oh yeah that's what i want to say the meet and greet was jim goad josh licash anthony josh denny ryan me and maddie and maddie odell got a lot of people got to visit everyone there that's a lot of celebs in the world of censored tv So everyone got their money's worth.
00:13:23.000
I kind of imagine the meet and greet more like just a room, like a VIP room, which we should do next time.
00:13:28.000
But then everyone wants their selfie in their two seconds, so it wouldn't be a normal mingle thing.
00:13:33.000
You'd be like, boop, boop, beep, bop, boop, boop, boop.
00:13:36.000
Somebody gave me a single brass knuckle, which was made of copper.
00:13:44.000
And then somebody, this fucking guy brought a turtle.
00:13:52.000
I don't really get the joke, to be honest, but he got stopped by security, and the security guard's like, yeah, I'm going to be honest, I've never seen a turtle before, so I'm going to ask somebody else if you could bring in a turtle.
00:14:09.000
He's like, I bought it from a breeder down the street.
00:14:16.000
Yeah, a lot of people, they're not going to like this.
00:14:17.000
A lot of people gave me presents, and I was just like, I just left them there.
00:14:24.000
I don't want your shirt that says guns matter or whatever.
00:14:28.000
I don't want your book this big that I got to carry through the airport.
00:14:32.000
These are pictures taken of the border wall that were given to us.
00:14:38.000
He didn't want to give it to you because he knew that you wouldn't appreciate it.
00:15:02.000
I was like, I should have taken Anthony's notes and not sold them or anything, but it feels pretty important.
00:15:09.000
Another thing I got to say, dude, sign up for everything you can possibly afford.
00:15:21.000
I'm actually having trouble signing up for TSA PreCheck.
00:15:23.000
I might be on a list, but I did sign up for clear, and you would not believe the carnage I avoided in Orlando.
00:15:41.000
He can't go on any of those because he's a felon.
00:15:44.000
So I decided not to stand with him and move my luggage for an hour.
00:15:47.000
But there was whole rituals of people having to go into and walk alone as a sniffing dog is sniffing for like bombs and guns and drugs and everything.
00:16:03.000
Can you believe Ryan brought his wife and baby?
00:16:08.000
I don't know about the backstage, but it was fun to have her go on the airplane.
00:16:15.000
We've really stretched a long way from the days of Motley Cruz backstage, huh?
00:16:30.000
We got the hotel rooms fucked up, and Maddie ended up sleeping in my room in my bed, and he tried to fuck me up the ass.
00:16:42.000
And then he started puking, and that killed the mood because the whole bed was covered in shit and puking.
00:16:50.000
Actually, speaking of killing the mood, I was hitting on my wife last night, and she's pro-choice, unfortunately.
00:16:57.000
And she goes, well, don't rape me because then I have to have the baby.
00:17:02.000
And I was like, oh, fetuses and rape kind of kills the vibe.
00:17:34.000
And you can just see what a cunt Nancy Pelosi is.
00:17:41.000
Who doesn't know that when a child is in your way, you say, hey, sweetie, do you think it could just slide over a little bit?
00:18:15.000
Nancy Pelosi has been rich and had Hispanic servants for so long, she doesn't see them as people.
00:18:22.000
Like the landscapers would never let their kids stand so close to her.
00:18:33.000
And these same people, you know, when they talk about diversity, they mean servants.
00:18:36.000
They mean landscapers, maids, nannies, au pairs.
00:18:42.000
So it's so strange that they see these people as second-class citizens and won't stop talking about equality.
00:19:06.000
Media manipulation, a free speech conference that takes acceptable people.
00:19:11.000
I would never make it to this list, but it has Tim Poole, Tulsi Gabbard, James O'Keefe.
00:19:22.000
And these socialists, they always look the same.
00:19:28.000
And James O'Keeffe knew That the angle against him was going to be he's a media manipulator and he edits footage to change the thing.
00:19:41.000
Like, you know, on Howard Stern, they'll have Robin, what's her name given?
00:19:46.000
And she'll be like, I like big giant dicks in my butt.
00:19:55.000
But when you see his shit, you see the whole minute.
00:20:00.000
We got to send these people to re-education camps so they can learn to not be Nazis.
00:20:07.000
Furthermore, he always makes the long version available.
00:20:11.000
But the only time the long version is necessary is if it's like the clips they make of me where it's just the N-word.
00:20:25.000
So the irony is this dude took a James O'Keefe thing that was about teachers and how incredibly powerful the teachers' unions are.
00:20:34.000
And one woman is bragging about how a teacher called her student an N-word.
00:20:44.000
I remember them talking at a union conference about how you'd have to beat up your student, rape them, or call them the N-word to get fired.
00:21:04.000
So this fat, disgusting socialist clown, when talking about James O'Keefe and how he manipulates the media, he took out that part of her saying...
00:21:18.000
So he manipulated the media while accusing James O'Keefe of manipulating the media.
00:21:24.000
So he confronted him before the debate, which is a great way to knock someone off their footing and choose sides.
00:21:31.000
And of course, like all shit talking beta males, as soon as he gets approached, what happens?
00:22:06.000
This is a lie because Lysa Plasznik was suspended in New Jersey.
00:22:09.000
It made the front page of the Star Ledger, and you doctored that out.
00:22:12.000
I want to know the name of this teacher who called the student the N-word, don't you?
00:22:37.000
I will be fascinated to see if it's actually the full video.
00:22:42.000
The same, and he's still going back to that same shit about the full video.
00:22:48.000
The context, even of that short clip, was pretty clear.
00:23:06.000
No, I think everybody should absolutely watch these videos to understand who and what James is.
00:23:12.000
And in these videos, he's doing two things, right?
00:23:17.000
So one of them is he's asking union officials, oh, would you defend me if I did this?
00:23:23.000
Which is like asking a lawyer, would you defend me if I was accused of murder?
00:23:27.000
Would you defend me if I was accused of double murder?
00:23:31.000
And it's a good thing that you can't be in prison arbitrarily.
00:23:35.000
It's a good thing you can't be fired arbitrarily.
00:23:38.000
And in one of these videos, now, out of the many, many sleazy things he did, we didn't highlight this in the clip we did on my show.
00:23:48.000
But in one of these videos, I do wish I had because I think it's an instructive case.
00:23:54.000
So in one of these videos, he's talking about a teacher who was accused of saying the N-word.
00:24:02.000
And then, I don't remember exactly what the disciplinary process were, but they didn't completely lose their job.
00:24:08.000
They have, and he was taking this as, oh, see, unions think it's okay to say the N-word, which is obviously asinine.
00:24:22.000
She was bragging that he called a student and was only demoted.
00:24:31.000
These fucking lefties are such hypocrites because this same guy would be thrilled if any of us were canceled for saying that word.
00:24:40.000
I'm sick of saying that word and that word and talking about that word.
00:24:55.000
The very form of change that the world has been waiting for.
00:25:07.000
And that's toxic masculinity if you don't realize how your behavior is hurtful.
00:25:12.000
You know what we have a problem with our women today?
00:25:26.000
They want to be raging sluts and beat up the world and dress like her.
00:25:30.000
Even in that clip right there, that black poet laureate, we are the storm and the ooh and she does all the little hand gestures.
00:25:40.000
Female confidence has got to ridiculous levels.
00:25:45.000
The sluts have to travel law has become enforced.
00:26:10.000
So these same women, I guarantee you, were freaking out about Jan 6 and saying, remember that woman who said, every Thanksgiving, we're going to watch the New York Times video about Proud Boys rioting on January 6th so we can remember how horrible our country can be and how bad things can get.
00:26:50.000
One man protest, you'll just see a guy on his bike with tons of flags and he's carrying a sign and just driving around the Capitol in circles.
00:26:58.000
It is fucking ball central, boomerangry woman liberal central.
00:27:05.000
I guess because it's a student town with the University of Wisconsin.
00:27:22.000
Is that not some sort of a seditious conspiracy?
00:27:34.000
They realized they can't fuck everything that moves anymore.
00:27:39.000
I like how the woman on TikTok say hookup culture will be absolutely decimated if Roe v.
00:27:57.000
In case you're a man who doesn't care about Roe v.
00:27:59.000
Wade, just know that if abortion gets banned, hookup culture will be absolutely decimated.
00:28:04.000
What woman would have mediocre sex with a drunk Rando if he could potentially father their child?
00:28:09.000
She's speaking like a Christian fundamentalist.
00:28:12.000
So you're saying you don't want to slut around anymore and you want to only fuck Mr. Wright.
00:28:20.000
And I had a pretty nefarious past, but I think you guys outdid me.
00:28:28.000
And now we're seeing women run around with t-shirts that say, I've had 23 abortions.
00:28:33.000
Wade is overturned, heterosexual hookup culture will disintegrate.
00:28:36.000
Why would we risk letting someone who runs on hot pockets and jewel pods father our children?
00:28:46.000
Since 75% of men only care about sex and money, I hope they, that's not true.
00:28:54.000
Wade decision could destroy hookup culture and leave them paying 18 years of child support.
00:29:02.000
I mean, you're all, this is sort of like, have you noticed people keep rewriting the Bible and stumbling into its same rules?
00:29:20.000
And then all of this meditation, all these cool meditation practices.
00:29:28.000
You know that stupid The Secret where you keep wishing something and it happens?
00:29:34.000
And now we have these women going, we're going on a sex strike.
00:29:37.000
No more fucking dicks in an alleyway and sucking off random strangers.
00:29:45.000
If you don't let us abort, we're going to get fucking married, bitches.
00:29:51.000
And then look at these abortion chicks fighting with cops, 1-9.
00:30:04.000
I've never seen dudes act like this in my life.
00:30:07.000
They might yell at cops, but even the craziest ghetto riot, they don't lunge at cops like this and then come back for more.
00:30:19.000
I won't hit a woman, but I'll shake the shit out of one.
00:30:23.000
She's crying, and then she's coming back for more.
00:30:29.000
They just keep moving in on them, screaming in their face.
00:30:34.000
You know, what we don't know is that he has the abortion.
00:30:36.000
There's a button that changes the decision in his pocket, so I think she's trying to reach for it.
00:30:44.000
And if you reach and push a certain button, this all goes away.
00:30:55.000
It looks like she's getting her camera all set up then.
00:31:26.000
You know, there's kind of a happy side to this.
00:31:30.000
The happy side is it's like this let's have to travel thing.
00:31:46.000
I feel like you're not even listening to me right now.
00:32:02.000
Someone sent consequences in the mailbag, and it is good enough to make it to the show.
00:32:08.000
I make fun of Stephen Colbert because he has 14 people writing for the show, but we do get like 100 emails a day.
00:32:26.000
So these guys charge the police, just like you saw Earlier, this is in Greenville, South Carolina, but they don't stand for that shit in Greenville, so they're getting arrested.
00:32:34.000
Some trans woman's getting arrested there, some dude with faked hits.
00:32:41.000
Listen to her indignation over people getting arrested for fucking with cops.
00:32:47.000
They're tasing her, and she just hit her head on the concrete.
00:33:16.000
You're hearing what happens when people start pick a fight.
00:33:21.000
Like for every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction.
00:33:53.000
You know what I realized talking to someone the other day?
00:33:55.000
I don't really quite get all the details of this.
00:33:57.000
Like in Texas, if you needed an abortion, you couldn't get one, right?
00:34:05.000
What if you needed the baby to be miscarried or you die?
00:34:25.000
So that would mean red states would have to do it.
00:34:27.000
So now it's saying, no, red states don't have to do it anymore.
00:34:38.000
If you can still get an abortion, you don't have a lot to complain about.
00:34:41.000
And the craziest part is, outside of that, what we just saw, most of these protests, like the ones in Los Angeles, are in blue states.
00:34:48.000
So you're burning down your own blue city, screaming and attacking cops and getting arrested for, I guess, another state where they democratically voted and said, we don't want this here.
00:35:24.000
And we already did the joke much better than that.
00:35:29.000
Yeah, having companies who don't want to pay maternity leave pay for you to go...
00:35:37.000
The idea that employers will pay a female employee's expenses to go kill a baby so she can remain at work as a productive employee is so much more dystopian than any of the handmaid's tale fanfiction.
00:35:54.000
We'll pay for you to get rid of it so you can keep working.
00:36:12.000
I don't know how that works, but he still has the hottest of takes.
00:36:15.000
Yo, Patrice, thanks for the hot take, my brother.
00:36:31.000
I don't think women should be, they don't have a choice.
00:36:35.000
I don't believe after they're pregnant, there's one excuse, great.
00:36:48.000
After you're pregnant, it doesn't belong to you.
00:36:51.000
Because God didn't ask you if you wanted a choice to be able to make babies.
00:36:56.000
And He didn't ask us if men wanted a choice to be able to have sperm.
00:37:21.000
I mean, they're already ending their legacy, right?
00:37:25.000
Like, when I see these people, like, fuck, I'm not having kids and fuck you.
00:37:28.000
I'm like, my children, and definitely my grandchildren, are never going to have to deal with you people.
00:37:33.000
You've purposely, not purposefully, you've purposely made yourself go extinct.
00:37:49.000
Well, this isn't a good example of bye-bye, but it is a good example of the handmaid's tale.
00:37:54.000
You and I are in love, and our slave is in the background breeding for us.
00:38:09.000
This was a really weird thing that happened from it.
00:38:13.000
And first of all, I don't think it's statistically true.
00:38:18.000
If we ban abortion, there's going to be more black babies.
00:38:21.000
That's just a fact, which is why real deal heavy shit racists love abortion.
00:38:27.000
Like the woman who started Planned Parenthood, Margaret Sanger, said it's good for the country's general DNA and IQ because there'll be less of them damn Negroes.
00:38:40.000
If you really are obsessed with racial politics in this country, then, and you want blacks to die, you should be pro-choice.
00:38:53.000
But to say that being pro-life is good for white lives, Blacks are having the majority of the abortions.
00:39:07.000
I think this was a slip-up, if you listen closely.
00:39:12.000
President Trump, on behalf of all the MAGA patriots in America, I want to thank you for the historic victory for life in the Supreme Court yesterday.
00:39:31.000
She was going to say wife because she kind of just fumbled.
00:40:10.000
Here we're doing live corrections on the show, folks.
00:40:13.000
But yeah, it's funny that this debate is ever considered racial or even that it's considered gender-based.
00:40:26.000
Yes, I know women tend to host the baby, but we're not really talking about her.
00:40:33.000
So, by the way, when you've seen abortion-heavy countries like China, what they do to the girls, it becomes gendercide.
00:40:47.000
You see it in a lot of cultures that are obsessed with the legacy and the money being passed down from generation to generation.
00:40:55.000
So when they see an ultrasound, they get rid of the cunts.
00:41:20.000
She said it was a victory for White Life, and people.
00:41:28.000
Whether it was a slip-up or not, the audience heard White Life and didn't flinch.
00:41:36.000
And at those things, you can't really hear what's going on.
00:41:38.000
You're like, yeah, a lot of people get into the sort of the rhythm and the cadence of like, da-da-da, ta-dee-dee, badoo-be-doo.
00:41:47.000
They're not really parsing through the syntax and making sure they approve of every single quote.
00:42:01.000
And by the way, the fucking dolphins have been good.
00:42:07.000
Some Twitter users didn't find Wartman's argument convincing enough.
00:42:14.000
In what universe does someone mix up white life and right to life?
00:42:30.000
I realize she will say it was a mistake, but it's what's in their head.
00:42:41.000
Miller has made similar controversial comments in January during a Moms for America, Save the Republic rally, where she quoted Adolf Hitler.
00:42:50.000
He said, whoever has the youth have the future.
00:42:54.000
Hitler is right in that sense, that whoever does have the youth has the future.
00:42:59.000
We've learned that from McDonald's, Camel Cigarettes, Cheerios, the radical left, and their Drag Queen Story Hour.
00:43:15.000
It's fucking lame that he's become the thing we all talk about all day.
00:43:20.000
I bet even he would be like, guys, fucking move on.
00:43:27.000
Well, he's been dead for so long he lost his accent.
00:43:33.000
He's like, oh my God, you guys need to get over this shit.
00:43:48.000
I'll tell you what, I'd do anything for a fucking cold glass of water.
00:43:55.000
So yeah, that's another nothing burger that got plenty of fucking legs because people want America to be racist really badly.
00:44:06.000
And the go-to for not just the left, but a lot of the right is they're victims of racism.
00:44:20.000
Why are whites the seventh most successful ethnic group in America after 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6?
00:44:32.000
I'm saying they're doing badly because you got rid of the dad.
00:44:37.000
Back before welfare was the thing to do, the crime statistics were just the same with black and white.
00:44:43.000
Things were going pretty good before welfare took over.
00:44:49.000
And besides, the beauty of this political sphere is we don't do identity politics.
00:44:55.000
So if McGill University loses all of their affirmative action shit and becomes 100% Asian, we don't give a shit.
00:45:02.000
If a bank is run by just white men and they're all there for merit, we don't give a shit.
00:45:18.000
And finally, I was going to say, so I told you about I was practicing baseball.
00:45:25.000
I'm practicing baseball with my youngest boy, who's nine, and there's all these women chanting Abortion rights, abortion rights are human rights.
00:45:37.000
Like, it's not a very popular park up in Westchester.
00:45:41.000
And they go from like the CVS through a school to a park.
00:45:52.000
And he goes, oh, can we go practice that field over there?
00:46:01.000
And he's like, yeah, maybe if I get a line drive, I could make it over there.
00:46:06.000
But yeah, if you're a kid and you see people saying, we want the right to kill babies, you must be like, hmm, I was a baby like six years ago, seven years ago.
00:46:17.000
They must be uncomfortable when they see people screaming about the right to get rid of Down syndrome because it's basically gone.
00:46:34.000
I mean, Hitler is the worst thing in the world, right?
00:46:37.000
What about the liberals who successfully got rid of Down syndrome?
00:46:41.000
When was the last time you saw someone in real life with Down syndrome?
00:47:11.000
She's got a sign that says, don't force this on anyone.
00:47:32.000
I know this isn't what you want, and I'm sorry.
00:47:37.000
By the way, that guy's makeup is not getting him on the cover of a magazine.
00:47:44.000
It's like that article last week where it said, this teen Texan couldn't get an abortion, and now she has twins.
00:47:55.000
And it's a woman changing diapers of two fucking gifts from God.
00:48:04.000
The color on the picture is kind of gray, and they make them look a little stiff.
00:48:07.000
Like, you know, when you get knocked out and your feet are like, but even then, they look like little angels.
00:48:14.000
And this cunt who wrote the article is like, can you imagine being stuck with those?
00:48:25.000
It's going to be tough to be a dad at 72, but I wish we had twins.
00:48:32.000
So my teenage daughter, my teenage son, we could have stuck some twins in the middle, and then my nine-year-old.
00:48:38.000
So I'd have nine, and then 11, two 11-year-olds, and then 13 and 15.
00:48:50.000
I'm going through all the GML notes looking right now.
00:48:54.000
The way to do it is just to go Washington Post, Texas, teen twins.
00:49:08.000
After we get that up, I want to talk about Anna Navarro.
00:49:20.000
Anna Navarro, who has the IQ of a very intelligent child, maybe like a six-year-old prodigy.
00:49:31.000
She's a genius six-year-old, said, you know, it's very important we talk about abortion because I have a brother who has special needs.
00:49:41.000
And, you know, someone shouldn't have to have someone like him and have no choice.
00:50:02.000
But if we were poor, I would definitely want to abort you.
00:50:11.000
But if we had a time machine and we were poor, I definitely wouldn't have...
00:50:19.000
I'm going to be buying a lock, a Deadbolt from my bedroom door on Amazon.
00:50:31.000
So you're giving up on the Washington Post thing?
00:50:50.000
All right, sounds to me like she's saying, I wish my brother was never born.
00:50:54.000
Or my family should have the right to not have my brother.
00:51:03.000
Ana Navarro points to special needs brother, other family with Down syndrome, for proof women need abortions.
00:51:08.000
Lady, like they say if you're going to have an affair in France anyway, they say it should be one gas tank away, which I guess is like 100 miles.
00:51:18.000
If you're going to talk about aborting people, maybe you'll try to leave the confirms, what's the word I'm looking for?
00:51:35.000
I am not anybody who tell you what you need to do with your life or with your uterus.
00:51:39.000
And because I have a family with a lot of special needs kids, I have a brother who's 57 and has the mental and motive skills of a one-year-old.
00:51:48.000
And I know what that means financially, emotionally, physically for a family.
00:51:56.000
And I have a step-granddaughter who was born with Down syndrome.
00:52:01.000
It is very difficult in Florida to get services.
00:52:07.000
And I've got another, another step-grandson who is very autistic, who has autism, and it is incredible.
00:52:15.000
Now you're talking about aborting autistic kids?
00:52:18.000
Now we've got to get rid of people who aren't too obsessed with baseball stats?
00:52:24.000
I have an uncle with a huge birthmark on his neck.
00:52:29.000
People think that he loves Australia and they talk to him with Australian accent.
00:52:35.000
And so he wheeze it and a little bit of juice comes out where Perth is.
00:52:43.000
When he draws with a charcoal pen doing life drawing, everything gets smudged.
00:52:56.000
No, he tried to eat it as a barbecue and he picked up the chicken.
00:53:05.000
When he shit, he have to sort of butt it up in a man bun or it gets in the toilet water.
00:53:10.000
See, and when he starts sweating, oh, the water, the sweat go everywhere.
00:53:15.000
I have a neighbor who is not a supermodel or a rocket scientist.
00:53:25.000
And then my other neighbor, I saw them going to get the mail once and they were limping.
00:53:51.000
They said he wouldn't walk till he was at least one year old.
00:54:03.000
And he would pee and poo into his diapers for almost three years.
00:54:07.000
They call them hoggies, but you don't want to huggy him when he shits himself.
00:54:18.000
Because they're already buying presents for Christmas.
00:54:20.000
So you get kind of like shitty presents as opposed to those fuckers in July.
00:54:25.000
So I aborted him and I got closer to July with the third after the third abortion.
00:54:30.000
Now my baby, she gets tons of presents Christmas, tons of presents July.
00:54:44.000
Nobody should have to live with snowy birthdays.
00:54:52.000
And by the way, you know her brother watched the show because only retards watch CNN.
00:55:00.000
All right, let's get down to the mail B. Totally true.
00:55:24.000
The visiting John and Max that Monday was, I was, I didn't have AIDS, I was AIDS.
00:55:35.000
And by Thursday, I was down to just a bunch of STDs and anal pain.
00:55:43.000
Fucking, I was telling, I feel like an asshole because I was telling Josh, Denny, like, how much I don't drink.
00:55:51.000
And then as soon as we get in the room with, and Anthony's there, I'm like, I can't hang around Anthony's sober.
00:55:56.000
I'm going to be a fucking nerd and be like, remember that time you...
00:56:07.000
But I drank until I with Rusty Cage until I disabled myself kicking a wall.
00:56:16.000
I was gesturing what I would do in a fight if we got attacked in Orlando.
00:56:23.000
We were just drinking whiskey straight until like five in the morning.
00:56:33.000
It is the entire layer of skin ripped off of my foot and flap.
00:56:43.000
I'd just like to warn everyone, this is not bad.
00:56:55.000
Safe, SFA, safe for anybody, anywhere, anytime.
00:57:04.000
You changed the acronym as you were explaining what it is.
00:57:16.000
How many stitches did the aunt who stitched you up do?
00:57:48.000
I knew the only way I could blow this comedy thing would be to be wasted.
00:57:51.000
So I stuck to beer, but I had to get doing something.
00:57:54.000
The biggest mistake we made was getting a shitty hotel.
00:57:56.000
Next time, we've got to do a good hotel with a pool that we can hang out in.
00:58:03.000
Drank all those beers, but I couldn't eat because I was so nervous.
00:58:07.000
I wanted to do a good job out of respect to the baby monsters.
00:58:10.000
I wasn't nervous like, uh-oh, people aren't going to like me.
00:58:12.000
I was nervous, like, I don't want to let people down, especially if they flew in.
00:58:28.000
I think the average was like a 14 to 7 hour drive.
00:58:42.000
And when a wife is that hot and the guy's a fan, you want to be like, Can I have that?
00:58:49.000
Like, it was weird with my brother when he was a baby and stuff.
00:58:53.000
So if he was eating like a Mars bar, I'd just be like, that's mine.
00:58:57.000
So then he would get older and he's like, you know, 20 and he's got a hot girlfriend.
00:59:07.000
Now that he's huge, you could just put five open Mars bars in front of him and be like, go ahead.
00:59:18.000
Not trying to laugh at the poor bastard, but is this dude not the most quintessential result of Muslim inbreeding?
00:59:23.000
Yeah, this is a tricky subject because I brought it up on Joe Rogan, and they said, Gavin McInnes literally thinks Muslims are too inbred to be in America, which I did kind of say.
00:59:37.000
I said there's problems with Muslim communities when they get to more than 10% of the population, and I think that's due to their problems with inbreeding.
00:59:45.000
And that blows people's minds because they haven't looked shit up, and they're not really genuinely curious about this shit.
00:59:51.000
But that guy absolutely is a result of that problem, and it's a major problem in the Muslim world.
00:59:58.000
And it's especially bad in Britain where it's a small subset of Pakistanis who have moved there.
01:00:19.000
And secondly, if you're sending someone an article about it, make sure the author is Muslim.
01:00:28.000
And that way they can't get mad and call it racist.
01:01:02.000
And here's another little tip, by the way, that I've learned over the years.
01:01:06.000
I know I'm against lying, and I say the truth will set you free.
01:01:09.000
Here's a little white lie I like to do that really helps things.
01:01:13.000
It's playing dirty pool, but it helps facilitate the conversation.
01:01:18.000
Tell liberals that you hate Trump, but you like his fans and his policies.
01:01:28.000
I say, look, believe me, I don't want the guy to come over for dinner, but I just think the country's better off with him.
01:01:33.000
And I think we need better borders and we need more free market.
01:01:36.000
And, you know, the people that support him seem like real, honest, good, hardworking blue-collar Americans.
01:01:42.000
And I feel an affiliation with that for whatever reason.
01:01:45.000
And they're like, oh, so you don't worship him?
01:01:48.000
Meanwhile, I would fucking kill my kids on Christmas Day to have him over for a BLT.
01:01:55.000
But that doesn't sell because they think we're part of a cult.
01:01:57.000
They think it's Scientology and he's out on Auburn.
01:02:00.000
So as soon as you cut that caesarean with the umbilical cord and you go, no, no, no, I find him annoying.
01:02:10.000
Now, don't do this lie every time you talk to someone or you're a pussy.
01:02:13.000
But if it's very important that you facilitate a conversation, like say your sister is not speaking to you anymore, I find that's a very healthy little tip.
01:02:21.000
If he did come over under that circumstance, he'd be like, why is it so empty?
01:02:47.000
By the way, we didn't really look into him, but it looks like he's a little violent.
01:02:55.000
It's like extreme violence, inability to discuss things.
01:03:07.000
This is a Camp David negotiations with Palestine and Israel.
01:03:31.000
I hate that when you take off your Groucho Mark sunglasses, nose, and beard combo, and then only the glasses come off.
01:03:39.000
Not to drag you back into the beginning of the show, but what a fucking brutal typo, white life.
01:03:51.000
Yeah, like that's one of the worst typos I've ever heard.
01:04:02.000
Eric Adams, who's such a fucking phony, go to, it's called Major Adams Ancient Chinese Secret.
01:04:13.000
And he's talking about, he pretends that he's scared of the way New York is going and he's worried about the crime.
01:04:19.000
Because everyone is going, what the fuck is going on?
01:04:31.000
I don't want this city to turn into the Wild West.
01:04:37.000
He watches movies and he cannot say Wild West without thinking of Will Smith.
01:04:50.000
And we cannot allow New York to become the Wild, Wild West.
01:04:57.000
That's not a career-ruining typo, but it is a respect-ruining typo.
01:05:28.000
By the way, the chick next to him looks like she's been crying all day.
01:05:39.000
Maybe he's talking about the Jersey gas station.
01:05:41.000
We don't want to talk about the Wild, Wild West.
01:05:45.000
Like the soft drinks are in the west side of Wawa.
01:05:55.000
I'm a wild, wild Western chauvinist, and I refuse to allopagize.
01:06:03.000
Oh, I heard him on the radio today, and yeah, he talks really weird.
01:06:07.000
Like, he took a pause and like, we have to keep this city intact.
01:06:12.000
Like, sometimes he'll over-enunciate a T. He's never read a book in his life.
01:06:17.000
He always talks about, too, like, when I grew up in Bushwick, single mom, she had to work three jobs.
01:06:23.000
We were so poor that I would have to bring clothes to school in case we got evicted.
01:06:35.000
Your mom worked three jobs and then bought a house in 1968?
01:06:42.000
You managed to fucking save up for and buy a house in eight years as a single mom?
01:06:55.000
And without mentioning his predecessor, he loves saying swagger.
01:07:16.000
He's an ex-transit cop, and he was nothing but a pain in the ass.
01:07:19.000
He spent more time protesting and talking about racism than he did actually policing.
01:07:28.000
While we're on weird stuff from politicians, did you see this video of Trump in the water?
01:07:46.000
I'm showing the drink on the TV, but I'm dying of thirst because Ryan made me eat a filet of fish for breakfast.
01:08:18.000
The little sanitary thing on top of the cup looks stupid and it makes you look weak and like a germaphobe, which he is.
01:08:27.000
And then the little napkin underneath it is a bit much too.
01:08:50.000
Put the table back because it's missing something.
01:08:53.000
Put the table back and put the water on the table without the thing on top of it.
01:09:13.000
I would die for any more of this footage of him just.
01:09:27.000
They were listening to Taylor Swift, and he was driving.
01:09:35.000
I hate to say it, but you may need to come to terms with the fear that this pedophilia plague has much larger and much more sinister grip on the world than anyone wants to know.
01:09:42.000
Check out this organization called Operation Underground Railroad.
01:09:46.000
Their efforts have hauled in literally thousands of traffickers and predators.
01:09:50.000
Maybe I'm naive, but that sounds like no small deal.
01:09:54.000
The way I see it, the media and government are in bed together.
01:09:56.000
These same organizations that consistently lie about crime, the climate, race, COVID, gender, et cetera, are all are also relentlessly trying to discredit theories about organized pedophilia.
01:10:12.000
All these claims of fraud are baseless conspiracy theories.
01:10:15.000
Jan 6 was a violent attempt to overthrow our democracy.
01:10:21.000
Proud boys are violent, white supremacists, domestic terrorists.
01:10:25.000
All of this comes from the same mouths that say that there's no grooming agenda.
01:10:29.000
There's no coordinated movement in Hollywood or the government.
01:10:31.000
And anyone who thinks so is a far-right QAnon lunatic.
01:10:35.000
Again, maybe I'm naive, but it seems weird that the pattern of spectacularly persistent lying would take a break for this one.
01:10:43.000
Yeah, that's my favorite line of that letter is the last one.
01:10:47.000
This pattern of spectacularly persistent lying would take a break.
01:10:57.000
Because we know that the trafficking is Mexican.
01:11:20.000
One, look at the boy on the left's reaction to Joe and presumably his sister.
01:11:24.000
I think that's either Hunter Biden's son or maybe Bo Biden's son.
01:11:28.000
And so that would be Joe Biden sniffing his granddaughter.
01:11:46.000
Well, why does it take so long to open them up?
01:12:00.000
And I wanted to get them all in a slideshow so I could just go left to right.
01:12:12.000
So yeah, look at the boy and the less reaction.
01:12:22.000
And I think kids have programmed in their DNA some sort of predator sensor where they're like, something's not right.
01:12:32.000
He's just like, what the fuck is, what the fucking fucking.
01:12:45.000
The best case scenario right there is that he's saying, I love you.
01:12:48.000
I'm so proud of you in a really weird and inappropriate way, as his daughter spoke about.
01:12:54.000
Or the other option is he's like, I saw you fucking sneering.
01:13:06.000
What a chore it is to get these pictures to work.
01:13:12.000
Yeah, so that's not how you show affection to a child.
01:13:20.000
So neither end of the spectrum is good for that one.
01:13:32.000
This is an advert for the national lottery in the UK currently running.
01:13:36.000
It's like a woke checklist of bullshit, including South Asian protagonist.
01:13:44.000
Bumbling white man who can't do anything right.
01:13:47.000
Several strong, powerful women leading the way.
01:13:50.000
Girls football, which basically doesn't exist past the age of about nine here.
01:14:03.000
And they left the comments switched on, which might interest some viewers.
01:14:06.000
I honestly can't remember the last time the winner wasn't white, married, and middle class.
01:14:11.000
You can read my name out because I'm not a faggy fucking cunt.
01:14:22.000
When I was a kid, if you're watching English TV and you heard a Scottish accent, that was diversity.
01:14:32.000
Even here, a working-class, like, kids' show host, roar.
01:14:36.000
Today we're going to talk about Leo Fucking Bay for a change.
01:14:42.000
And that, so it's weird for me to watch this because I'm already multicultured by that Scottish woman running the till.
01:15:13.000
How weak are you holding something where a breeze from a door rips it out of your hand?
01:15:18.000
Why didn't she yell to the white guy, go help him?
01:15:42.000
And they're wrecking their own produce because they think it's faster than just going around it.
01:15:49.000
I mean, if I had legs, I never would have done that.
01:15:51.000
What a waste of legs is the message we're getting here.
01:15:55.000
And by the way, you're not going to help them chase the thing.
01:16:01.000
And it looks like she stole two watermelons from the market.
01:16:06.000
Don't be worried about being politically incorrect.
01:16:10.000
I remembered her having much smaller tits when she entered the market.
01:16:13.000
By the way, that's the protagonist in the middle there, the South Asian dyke.
01:16:26.000
Oh, the old timers are going to help, but I bet the white male old timers will be the worst.
01:16:33.000
Oh, it was a great save, though, you'll notice.
01:17:00.000
Isn't there proof he was there and he bought it?
01:17:07.000
Then there's a stupid white male who couldn't even make it to the stairs.
01:17:18.000
Not sure where they got on the bus to get there.
01:17:24.000
You did it, trans, queer, ethnically ambiguous person.
01:17:57.000
We're against porn, but sometimes we Can't resist, and we watch gay porn.
01:18:09.000
And as far as trans men, well, you better get ready to be into this kind of stuff after you take testosterone.
01:18:21.000
Look at that B. And he can stand on it too because it instantly dries.
01:18:33.000
Look at that fucking S. Anyone who's done any kind of lettering knows what a bitch an S is.
01:18:40.000
Look at that masterpiece of an S. Perfect T. Now the O's are really difficult.
01:19:11.000
I was like, thank God I didn't do Coke or do any shots.
01:19:13.000
And I look in the front row and there's a guy wearing a shirt that says, please don't let me do shots or Coke.
01:19:22.000
Tomorrow, we are supposed to have Alex Stein Primetime 99.
01:19:30.000
Until then, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, won't never stop fighting.
01:19:46.000
I'm the vibration in your body when you're standing by the speaker, on the speaker, on the rooster.