Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S4EP134 - BITCHES BE CRAZY

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness.

00:00:36.000 Woman, woman, woman about the moment inside for the people.

00:00:45.000 Yo, we're doing nice and easy.

00:00:48.000 Are we that's Bass Nectar?

00:00:53.000 Nice and easy is a song featuring Rodney P sent in by a baby monster.

00:00:58.000 I like the jam.

00:01:00.000 I wasn't familiar with them.

00:01:00.000 I had to look them up.

00:01:01.000 I like to say a few things about the band, mostly so I don't have to pay for their music.

00:01:05.000 I can just say it's editorial.

00:01:07.000 That's the trick here, the legal loophole.

00:01:09.000 Bass Nectar is a DJ from San Francisco charged with sexual, being sued, not charged, sued, which is I'm always dubious of that.

00:01:17.000 Why didn't you just call the cops?

00:01:19.000 Charged with human trafficking.

00:01:22.000 What year is this from?

00:01:24.000 Two more women sued. 0.99

00:01:25.000 2021.

00:01:26.000 2021.

00:01:28.000 So I think he had a 16-year-old fan that he would fly to his various gigs and fornicate with.

00:01:35.000 And then later she decided I didn't like that.

00:01:37.000 So now it's rape.

00:01:38.000 And if you pay for the plane ticket, that's human trafficking. 1.00

00:01:42.000 Which seems, so they got to amend that law.

00:01:44.000 It seems like there's real human trafficking going on.

00:01:47.000 Like we get a van full of immigrants pouring out onto the street. 1.00

00:01:50.000 Remember that?

00:01:51.000 Or remember that whole arrest with like 27 kids?

00:01:54.000 Kid kids, not 16-year-olds.

00:01:58.000 We also should differentiate.

00:02:00.000 I don't like either, but guys who fuck legally 17-year-olds, like the stray cats, sexy and 17, and then gays who groom young boys and girls who are like eight. 1.00

00:02:14.000 With the former, it used to be the norm, much younger, like that groupie that Jimmy Page used to fuck, the Puerto Rican chick. 0.97

00:02:23.000 David Bowie and his wife fucked her. 1.00

00:02:25.000 Jimmy Page fucked her. 1.00

00:02:27.000 Her and Pamela, what's her name, Bars? 1.00

00:02:30.000 They were like the biggest groupies in New York.

00:02:32.000 That was just normal back then.

00:02:34.000 Liberace's boyfriend was 14 when he met him.

00:02:37.000 And then you had, what was his name?

00:02:42.000 Great Balls of Fire, Jerry Lee Lewis.

00:02:44.000 Elvis', I think Priscilla Presley was a teenager when he met her.

00:02:49.000 Apparently that movie's awesome.

00:02:51.000 But Tom Hanks blew it.

00:02:53.000 I haven't seen it.

00:02:53.000 This is a review from my family who had an affair and saw it without me, which hurt deep down.

00:03:00.000 But yeah, I saw that the...

00:03:03.000 Oh, wait, sorry, let me finish the first point.

00:03:04.000 So that's Bass Nectar.

00:03:06.000 He's in trouble.

00:03:07.000 And then Rodney P, he wasn't soliciting pics from young girls.

00:03:10.000 He's just beating the shit out of women. 0.99

00:03:14.000 So that kind of changes the music, I'm afraid.

00:03:18.000 What a collab.

00:03:19.000 Yeah.

00:03:21.000 This song is called Fuck and Rape Bitches. 1.00

00:03:25.000 Nice and easy, the song is called.

00:03:27.000 You know, you make music about what you know.

00:03:29.000 I guess it gets to a point where when you're a pariah like that, you can only collab with other pariahs.

00:03:36.000 Oh, yeah.

00:03:36.000 Sort of like our Orlando show.

00:03:38.000 They have a censored.tv of their own, yeah.

00:03:40.000 Yeah, the three, Josh canceled, Anthony canceled, me canceled.

00:03:44.000 And so we had a canceled show.

00:03:46.000 I've been staving off talking to you about it because I want it to be fresh for the show.

00:03:51.000 But I would say Raging hit.

00:03:53.000 Oh, yeah.

00:03:54.000 No, it ruled.

00:03:55.000 It ruled.

00:03:56.000 And I'm so vain that when I saw you out there and you were doing Donald Trump and people could see that it was Ryan, but then they could look above and see the face swap, which was my plan from day one.

00:04:08.000 Did you watch my Donald Trump intro and stuff, or were you in the green room?

00:04:10.000 Well, I was peeking through a vagina crack in the curtains like this. 1.00

00:04:15.000 I didn't want to give...

00:04:16.000 It's very distracting if you're watching a show and you see a head.

00:04:18.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:04:19.000 So I haven't really seen anyone's set or your shit, but I could see you from the side of the stage a little bit.

00:04:25.000 And I was looking at you slay, and I was just like, I'm a genius.

00:04:28.000 It was a great idea.

00:04:30.000 I made your success my success.

00:04:32.000 Making, like, having the face, like, I wasn't nervous at all for some reason.

00:04:35.000 I think it's because of that, because like the face tech, we planned it out.

00:04:38.000 We did a tech rehearsal.

00:04:39.000 It went great.

00:04:40.000 And so I even had a little controller.

00:04:42.000 So I kind of was doing this job there on the screen.

00:04:45.000 I had a little controller that could fade out the screen, fade it back in.

00:04:48.000 Oh, it's smooth.

00:04:49.000 Really smooth.

00:04:50.000 And your riffing was pretty good.

00:04:51.000 Thanks.

00:04:51.000 Great guy.

00:04:53.000 I had about three bullet points for each thing, and then I just kind of figured it would fill it in.

00:04:56.000 But yeah, very fun, really.

00:04:58.000 Really great time.

00:05:00.000 Yeah, and I had this epiphany.

00:05:02.000 I was really nervous all week, and then I was at the gym.

00:05:04.000 Did I tell you this already?

00:05:05.000 No.

00:05:06.000 Oh, yeah, because Friday was pre-taped.

00:05:08.000 Friday morning, I was like, wait a minute.

00:05:11.000 This is a chance to say whatever the fuck we want.

00:05:15.000 Retard, N-word, Holocaust.

00:05:18.000 Like, nothing's off the table.

00:05:19.000 This could be Eddie Murphy delirious.

00:05:21.000 I think the word faggot was MVP. 1.00

00:05:23.000 Faggot. 1.00

00:05:24.000 Well, you could say faggot today. 0.99

00:05:28.000 But you couldn't, like, books are gay, I said, on stage. 0.98

00:05:33.000 You can't really say that anymore.

00:05:35.000 It did feel great to know that everybody in the crowd, it was, you know, like with Josh, Denny, he was saying that sometimes you play a big show and they're not all there to see you.

00:05:45.000 But these are all our fans.

00:05:47.000 Right.

00:05:47.000 And they know the bits and they get the bird, which is the bald eagle and all that kind of stuff.

00:05:51.000 You can be super inside-y.

00:05:53.000 A lot of hot chicks. 1.00

00:05:54.000 Interesting, huh?

00:05:56.000 Wasn't that weird?

00:05:57.000 Yes.

00:05:57.000 I think Anthony and Josh were surprised by how many hotties there were.

00:06:02.000 And then we did a sit-down podcast.

00:06:04.000 I think that went a little long.

00:06:07.000 We did a Q ⁇ A, which was stupid because everyone's wasted at that point.

00:06:11.000 I was sad I couldn't hang out with Prowboys because we did the show, the podcast.

00:06:15.000 Then we did a meet and greet.

00:06:17.000 There was a lot of money from the meet and greet.

00:06:19.000 I think it was $100 a ticket, but that took two hours.

00:06:23.000 Dude, it was...

00:06:25.000 Yeah.

00:06:25.000 I wasn't exhausted until the very end until you could see the end of the line.

00:06:29.000 You're like, now it's starting to feel long.

00:06:32.000 But it was, everybody was so excited that it kind of makes you excited again.

00:06:35.000 You're like, hey, fucking.

00:06:36.000 Yeah, it's nice to have your ass kissed for two hours when everyone in the world hates you, but so many selfies you can fucking do.

00:06:44.000 And I suck at it and I want to talk to people, so I end up slowing the entire line down.

00:06:48.000 Oh, yeah.

00:06:49.000 Because I'm at the end.

00:06:49.000 So Anthony eventually had to come over and he goes, you don't have to blow them.

00:06:52.000 Let's go.

00:06:54.000 But he was chatting them up too, probably because he could see that it wasn't moving too fast.

00:06:59.000 Yeah, that's all it takes.

00:07:00.000 So we had me.

00:07:02.000 Oh, I forgot about that part.

00:07:03.000 I wasn't drunk.

00:07:03.000 I did Bud Lights all day, but we did a lot of Bud Lights.

00:07:06.000 Probably 10.

00:11:40.000 a headband on and he was dancing he was jumping up and down for like all the tiffany whatever songs oh that guy and i noticed that his headband was slipping a bit and it was revealing that his hairline is here no joke yeah it was bad that's why he was wearing the headband right so she couldn't see he's 40.

00:12:57.000 had some footage coming why you have some other things to say about your trip i just had no i just had a little bit well josh licash's buddy that led us through all oh yeah that's what i want to say the meet and greet was jim goad josh licash anthony josh denny ryan me and maddie and maddie odell got a lot of people got to visit everyone there that's a lot of celebs in the world of censored tv So everyone got their money's worth.

00:13:21.000 That's for damn sure.

00:13:23.000 I kind of imagine the meet and greet more like just a room, like a VIP room, which we should do next time.

00:13:28.000 But then everyone wants their selfie in their two seconds, so it wouldn't be a normal mingle thing.

00:13:33.000 You'd be like, boop, boop, beep, bop, boop, boop, boop.

00:13:36.000 Somebody gave me a single brass knuckle, which was made of copper.

00:13:40.000 It's called a ring.

00:13:41.000 It's a, I mean, yeah, it's a ring, officer.

00:13:44.000 And then somebody, this fucking guy brought a turtle.

00:13:48.000 Did you hear about this?

00:13:50.000 Yeah, I think you did.

00:13:51.000 He brought a turtle.

00:13:52.000 I don't really get the joke, to be honest, but he got stopped by security, and the security guard's like, yeah, I'm going to be honest, I've never seen a turtle before, so I'm going to ask somebody else if you could bring in a turtle.

00:14:07.000 And I was like, where'd you get a turtle?

00:14:09.000 He's like, I bought it from a breeder down the street.

00:14:11.000 It's in the car.

00:14:12.000 I was like, okay.

00:14:13.000 Reeking up the car.

00:14:14.000 I still don't get the joke, but that's a lady. 1.00

00:14:16.000 Yeah, a lot of people, they're not going to like this.

00:14:17.000 A lot of people gave me presents, and I was just like, I just left them there.

00:14:21.000 I don't want them.

00:14:22.000 Oh, yeah.

00:14:22.000 I have some.

00:14:23.000 I'm good for presents.

00:14:24.000 I don't want your shirt that says guns matter or whatever.

00:14:28.000 I don't want your book this big that I got to carry through the airport.

00:14:32.000 These are pictures taken of the border wall that were given to us.

00:14:38.000 He didn't want to give it to you because he knew that you wouldn't appreciate it.

00:14:40.000 Correct.

00:14:41.000 But there is one for you.

00:14:43.000 It says G-O-ML on the thing right there.

00:14:46.000 See, I don't want that.

00:14:46.000 What am I going to do with that?

00:14:47.000 I feel like Howard Stern here.

00:14:49.000 It kind of looks cool.

00:14:50.000 Yeah.

00:14:50.000 Well, you are a hoarder.

00:14:52.000 This is 160.

00:14:53.000 Great guy.

00:14:56.000 Yeah, so I just left the shit there.

00:15:00.000 I would have taken it.

00:15:01.000 I thought Anthony's notes.

00:15:02.000 I was like, I should have taken Anthony's notes and not sold them or anything, but it feels pretty important.

00:15:09.000 Another thing I got to say, dude, sign up for everything you can possibly afford.

00:15:15.000 Clear, global entry, TSA precheck.

00:15:19.000 Sign up for it.

00:15:21.000 I'm actually having trouble signing up for TSA PreCheck.

00:15:23.000 I might be on a list, but I did sign up for clear, and you would not believe the carnage I avoided in Orlando.

00:15:30.000 Holy fuck, it was a mob scene.

00:15:32.000 It was literally a mile long.

00:15:34.000 Maddie was there for like an hour.

00:15:35.000 I said, should I stay with you?

00:15:37.000 I don't think I should.

00:15:38.000 He's like, nah, go ahead.

00:15:40.000 Like, I paid for clear for a reason.

00:15:41.000 He can't go on any of those because he's a felon.

00:15:44.000 So I decided not to stand with him and move my luggage for an hour.

00:15:47.000 But there was whole rituals of people having to go into and walk alone as a sniffing dog is sniffing for like bombs and guns and drugs and everything.

00:15:57.000 Calm down.

00:16:00.000 I had no problem going through it.

00:16:01.000 Me and my wife and baby.

00:16:03.000 Can you believe Ryan brought his wife and baby?

00:16:05.000 What a fun backstage.

00:16:06.000 It was fun.

00:16:08.000 I don't know about the backstage, but it was fun to have her go on the airplane. 0.69

00:16:13.000 She was a dream.

00:16:15.000 We've really stretched a long way from the days of Motley Cruz backstage, huh?

00:16:19.000 That's true.

00:16:20.000 Just breastfeeding and fucking wives. 1.00

00:16:24.000 We're a pro family.

00:16:26.000 Yeah.

00:16:28.000 I ended up...

00:16:30.000 We got the hotel rooms fucked up, and Maddie ended up sleeping in my room in my bed, and he tried to fuck me up the ass. 1.00

00:16:34.000 Really?

00:16:35.000 Yeah.

00:16:35.000 How did you fail?

00:16:38.000 I shat on his dick. 1.00

00:16:39.000 It's like a natural impulse.

00:16:41.000 Like squid ink.

00:16:42.000 Right.

00:16:42.000 And then he started puking, and that killed the mood because the whole bed was covered in shit and puking.

00:16:46.000 And there goes the blowjobs, too, then.

00:16:48.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:16:49.000 Okay, cool.

00:16:49.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:16:50.000 Actually, speaking of killing the mood, I was hitting on my wife last night, and she's pro-choice, unfortunately. 0.95

00:16:57.000 And she goes, well, don't rape me because then I have to have the baby. 1.00

00:17:02.000 And I was like, oh, fetuses and rape kind of kills the vibe.

00:17:06.000 So I rolled back over.

00:17:08.000 Anyway, let's start the show.

00:17:21.000 So this is going all over the place.

00:17:22.000 Nancy Pelosi shoved a kid. 1.00

00:17:25.000 There was that Hispanic woman. 1.00

00:17:27.000 She's got a name like Maya Wiley. 1.00

00:17:29.000 And daughter of Myra Flores.

00:17:34.000 And you can just see what a cunt Nancy Pelosi is. 1.00

00:17:39.000 And how senile she is. 0.99

00:17:41.000 Who doesn't know that when a child is in your way, you say, hey, sweetie, do you think it could just slide over a little bit?

00:17:50.000 Look what she does. 1.00

00:17:51.000 Fucking move it, bitch. 1.00

00:17:53.000 She just shoves her out of the way. 1.00

00:17:56.000 Isn't this awesome?

00:17:57.000 Look, move it, you little spick brat. 1.00

00:18:00.000 I can't believe your cunt mom won. 1.00

00:18:02.000 Get the fuck out of here.

00:18:03.000 Why are you even here?

00:18:04.000 Move! 0.97

00:18:06.000 Move it.

00:18:07.000 Look at that.

00:18:08.000 And the girl's got balls. 1.00

00:18:10.000 She moved back.

00:18:13.000 Yeah, she kind of got it deeper, right?

00:18:15.000 Nancy Pelosi has been rich and had Hispanic servants for so long, she doesn't see them as people. 1.00

00:18:22.000 Like the landscapers would never let their kids stand so close to her.

00:18:27.000 She's forgotten that they're human beings.

00:18:31.000 I love it.

00:18:33.000 And these same people, you know, when they talk about diversity, they mean servants.

00:18:36.000 They mean landscapers, maids, nannies, au pairs.

00:18:39.000 That's who their diversity is.

00:18:42.000 So it's so strange that they see these people as second-class citizens and won't stop talking about equality.

00:18:47.000 Bitch, we hang out with them. 1.00

00:18:49.000 They're our friends.

00:18:51.000 You're not our friend.

00:18:52.000 Her tits seem to be shrinking. 1.00

00:18:56.000 She used to have fucking mammograms. 1.00

00:19:02.000 There was also an interesting little rally.

00:19:04.000 Not a rally, but a discussion.

00:19:06.000 Media manipulation, a free speech conference that takes acceptable people.

00:19:11.000 I would never make it to this list, but it has Tim Poole, Tulsi Gabbard, James O'Keefe.

00:19:16.000 And then this guy I hadn't heard of before.

00:19:17.000 He's a big socialist who works at the Jacobin.

00:19:22.000 And these socialists, they always look the same.

00:19:24.000 They're fat.

00:19:25.000 They wear a t-shirt and a blazer.

00:19:27.000 They're nervous.

00:19:28.000 And James O'Keeffe knew That the angle against him was going to be he's a media manipulator and he edits footage to change the thing.

00:19:39.000 It's such a weird allegation.

00:19:41.000 Like, you know, on Howard Stern, they'll have Robin, what's her name given?

00:19:45.000 Quivers.

00:19:46.000 Quivers.

00:19:46.000 And she'll be like, I like big giant dicks in my butt.

00:19:52.000 That's what they accuse James Akeef of doing.

00:19:53.000 Taking little segments.

00:19:55.000 But when you see his shit, you see the whole minute.

00:19:59.000 This is a nothing burger.

00:20:00.000 We got to send these people to re-education camps so they can learn to not be Nazis.

00:20:04.000 The context is always there.

00:20:07.000 Furthermore, he always makes the long version available.

00:20:11.000 But the only time the long version is necessary is if it's like the clips they make of me where it's just the N-word.

00:20:20.000 That's taken out of context.

00:20:22.000 His context is always there.

00:20:23.000 And then the people say he manipulates it.

00:20:25.000 So the irony is this dude took a James O'Keefe thing that was about teachers and how incredibly powerful the teachers' unions are.

00:20:34.000 And one woman is bragging about how a teacher called her student an N-word.

00:20:40.000 And she wasn't fired.

00:20:44.000 I remember them talking at a union conference about how you'd have to beat up your student, rape them, or call them the N-word to get fired.

00:20:52.000 And she that this was a different segment.

00:20:56.000 Anyway, the amazing part is this fucking...

00:20:59.000 I pointed to myself.

00:21:02.000 Everything's reversed here.

00:21:04.000 So this fat, disgusting socialist clown, when talking about James O'Keefe and how he manipulates the media, he took out that part of her saying... 0.99

00:21:18.000 So he manipulated the media while accusing James O'Keefe of manipulating the media.

00:21:23.000 Check out.

00:21:24.000 So he confronted him before the debate, which is a great way to knock someone off their footing and choose sides.

00:21:31.000 And of course, like all shit talking beta males, as soon as he gets approached, what happens?

00:21:39.000 They start shaking.

00:21:41.000 Go to 1-3.

00:21:42.000 Yeah.

00:21:42.000 The N-word mentioned by the union official.

00:21:50.000 Why are you laughing about the N-word?

00:21:52.000 Well, I'm not laughing at the N-word.

00:21:53.000 Yes, you are laughing.

00:21:54.000 I'm not laughing.

00:21:54.000 You're also shaking.

00:21:55.000 I'm not laughing at the N-word.

00:21:57.000 You're a liar.

00:21:58.000 Sorry, let me, if I can say something, sir.

00:21:59.000 No, no.

00:22:00.000 Sir, we'll talk about this on the panel.

00:22:03.000 You edit the tape.

00:22:03.000 Why did you doctor the tape?

00:22:05.000 Look at the adrenaline tape.

00:22:06.000 This is a lie because Lysa Plasznik was suspended in New Jersey.

00:22:09.000 It made the front page of the Star Ledger, and you doctored that out.

00:22:12.000 I want to know the name of this teacher who called the student the N-word, don't you?

00:22:16.000 No?

00:22:17.000 You don't care.

00:22:18.000 Wow.

00:22:19.000 Okay, guys.

00:22:19.000 We can do this on the panel.

00:22:22.000 The 20 cameras at once.

00:22:24.000 This is called sunlight.

00:22:25.000 How does it feel?

00:22:26.000 I'll release the full raw video tomorrow.

00:22:28.000 Yeah, I'm sure you.

00:22:32.000 Green pants with green socks is a bold stance.

00:22:35.000 I will be fascinated.

00:22:37.000 I will be fascinated to see if it's actually the full video.

00:22:41.000 Why did you edit the tape?

00:22:42.000 The same, and he's still going back to that same shit about the full video.

00:22:46.000 The full context.

00:22:48.000 The context, even of that short clip, was pretty clear.

00:22:50.000 She was bragging.

00:22:52.000 Wait, what's he saying?

00:22:54.000 New Jersey Teachers Union's Gone Wild.

00:22:57.000 And in that series...

00:23:00.000 This is a great series.

00:23:03.000 Thanks for the free advertising.

00:23:05.000 Yeah.

00:23:06.000 No, I think everybody should absolutely watch these videos to understand who and what James is.

00:23:12.000 And in these videos, he's doing two things, right?

00:23:17.000 So one of them is he's asking union officials, oh, would you defend me if I did this?

00:23:22.000 Would you defend me if I did that?

00:23:23.000 Which is like asking a lawyer, would you defend me if I was accused of murder?

00:23:27.000 Would you defend me if I was accused of double murder?

00:23:29.000 Yes, that's what a lawyer is.

00:23:31.000 And it's a good thing that you can't be in prison arbitrarily.

00:23:35.000 It's a good thing you can't be fired arbitrarily.

00:23:38.000 And in one of these videos, now, out of the many, many sleazy things he did, we didn't highlight this in the clip we did on my show.

00:23:46.000 I wish we had.

00:23:48.000 But in one of these videos, I do wish I had because I think it's an instructive case.

00:23:54.000 So in one of these videos, he's talking about a teacher who was accused of saying the N-word.

00:24:01.000 Did say the N-word.

00:24:02.000 And then, I don't remember exactly what the disciplinary process were, but they didn't completely lose their job.

00:24:08.000 They have, and he was taking this as, oh, see, unions think it's okay to say the N-word, which is obviously asinine.

00:24:18.000 Obviously stinking.

00:24:19.000 No, no, stop.

00:24:19.000 It's not asinine.

00:24:20.000 That's exactly what happened.

00:24:22.000 She was bragging that he called a student and was only demoted.

00:24:29.000 And he's saying, no, we just defend it.

00:24:31.000 These fucking lefties are such hypocrites because this same guy would be thrilled if any of us were canceled for saying that word.

00:24:40.000 I'm sick of saying that word and that word and talking about that word.

00:24:43.000 Anyway, let's move on.

00:24:44.000 Let's move on to feminism. 1.00

00:24:51.000 It's coming up.

00:24:53.000 We are the storm.

00:24:55.000 The very form of change that the world has been waiting for.

00:25:02.000 Who said I was too pretty to fight? 1.00

00:25:07.000 And that's toxic masculinity if you don't realize how your behavior is hurtful.

00:25:12.000 You know what we have a problem with our women today? 1.00

00:25:15.000 Mostly our young women, but our boomers too. 1.00

00:25:18.000 This vitriol, this hatred, this hubris.

00:25:21.000 They want to fight you.

00:25:24.000 And the pussy pass keeps getting denied. 1.00

00:25:26.000 They want to be raging sluts and beat up the world and dress like her. 1.00

00:25:30.000 Even in that clip right there, that black poet laureate, we are the storm and the ooh and she does all the little hand gestures. 0.83

00:25:37.000 Like her confidence is too high.

00:25:40.000 Female confidence has got to ridiculous levels. 1.00

00:25:42.000 And we see this with the abortion law.

00:25:45.000 The sluts have to travel law has become enforced. 0.99

00:25:51.000 And women are not handling it well. 1.00

00:25:54.000 And they're fighting with cops.

00:25:56.000 What do you think is going to happen?

00:25:57.000 Are you going to win?

00:25:58.000 Are you going to beat up that cop?

00:26:04.000 Anyway, here they are insurrecting 1-7.

00:26:10.000 So these same women, I guarantee you, were freaking out about Jan 6 and saying, remember that woman who said, every Thanksgiving, we're going to watch the New York Times video about Proud Boys rioting on January 6th so we can remember how horrible our country can be and how bad things can get.

00:26:28.000 Then these same women go here. 1.00

00:26:30.000 I think this is where in Wisconsin?

00:26:32.000 This is the one right?

00:26:33.000 Yeah.

00:26:37.000 Yep.

00:26:37.000 Wisconsin State Capitol.

00:26:39.000 Dude, you got to go to Wisconsin sometime.

00:26:42.000 Madison, Wisconsin.

00:26:43.000 Holy crap is it left wing.

00:26:46.000 Fuck Fox News, signs everywhere.

00:26:48.000 Faux news is a common bumper sticker.

00:26:50.000 One man protest, you'll just see a guy on his bike with tons of flags and he's carrying a sign and just driving around the Capitol in circles.

00:26:58.000 It is fucking ball central, boomerangry woman liberal central. 1.00

00:27:05.000 I guess because it's a student town with the University of Wisconsin.

00:27:08.000 Anyway, look at them all insurrecting.

00:27:12.000 Shut it down.

00:27:13.000 Shut it down.

00:27:15.000 Isn't that inhibiting the democratic process?

00:27:18.000 And I presume this was planned.

00:27:20.000 Look, they all have printed signs.

00:27:22.000 Is that not some sort of a seditious conspiracy?

00:27:26.000 Right?

00:27:30.000 The slut community was devastated. 1.00

00:27:32.000 1-8.

00:27:34.000 They realized they can't fuck everything that moves anymore.

00:27:37.000 That must really suck.

00:27:39.000 I like how the woman on TikTok say hookup culture will be absolutely decimated if Roe v. 1.00

00:27:46.000 Wade is overturned.

00:27:47.000 Okay, let's check it out here.

00:27:49.000 You got to get a bit bigger on that one.

00:27:51.000 On each of the pictures, I mean.

00:27:57.000 In case you're a man who doesn't care about Roe v.

00:27:59.000 Wade, just know that if abortion gets banned, hookup culture will be absolutely decimated.

00:28:04.000 What woman would have mediocre sex with a drunk Rando if he could potentially father their child? 0.87

00:28:09.000 She's speaking like a Christian fundamentalist.

00:28:12.000 So you're saying you don't want to slut around anymore and you want to only fuck Mr. Wright. 0.96

00:28:16.000 Yeah, that's what we're going for.

00:28:19.000 The slutting was getting out of control. 1.00

00:28:20.000 And I had a pretty nefarious past, but I think you guys outdid me.

00:28:25.000 I never had one girl get an abortion. 0.92

00:28:28.000 And now we're seeing women run around with t-shirts that say, I've had 23 abortions. 1.00

00:28:32.000 Just know that if Roe v.

00:28:33.000 Wade is overturned, heterosexual hookup culture will disintegrate.

00:28:36.000 Why would we risk letting someone who runs on hot pockets and jewel pods father our children? 0.71

00:28:40.000 Yeah, nice threat.

00:28:44.000 The next one is kind of cropped.

00:28:45.000 I can't really see it.

00:28:46.000 Since 75% of men only care about sex and money, I hope they, that's not true.

00:28:52.000 I hope they know this Roe v.

00:28:54.000 Wade decision could destroy hookup culture and leave them paying 18 years of child support.

00:28:59.000 This isn't just an issue for women, boys. 1.00

00:29:02.000 I mean, you're all, this is sort of like, have you noticed people keep rewriting the Bible and stumbling into its same rules?

00:29:08.000 Like no fap and no wanks.

00:29:11.000 That's already in the Bible.

00:29:13.000 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife.

00:29:16.000 Or sober October.

00:29:19.000 Yeah, that's Lent.

00:29:20.000 And then all of this meditation, all these cool meditation practices.

00:29:24.000 Yeah, that's called praying.

00:29:27.000 The wish it.

00:29:28.000 You know that stupid The Secret where you keep wishing something and it happens?

00:29:32.000 Yeah, that's prayer too.

00:29:34.000 And now we have these women going, we're going on a sex strike. 1.00

00:29:37.000 No more fucking dicks in an alleyway and sucking off random strangers. 1.00

00:29:41.000 We're going to wait till marriage. 0.98

00:29:44.000 Okay?

00:29:45.000 If you don't let us abort, we're going to get fucking married, bitches. 1.00

00:29:51.000 And then look at these abortion chicks fighting with cops, 1-9. 1.00

00:30:00.000 Like, they think they're going to win.

00:30:04.000 This is what...

00:30:04.000 I've never seen dudes act like this in my life.

00:30:07.000 They might yell at cops, but even the craziest ghetto riot, they don't lunge at cops like this and then come back for more. 0.96

00:30:15.000 Look, he's trying to wake her up.

00:30:16.000 Are you fucking stop it?

00:30:19.000 I won't hit a woman, but I'll shake the shit out of one. 1.00

00:30:21.000 And look, she gets drops draining. 1.00

00:30:23.000 She's crying, and then she's coming back for more.

00:30:29.000 They just keep moving in on them, screaming in their face.

00:30:34.000 You know, what we don't know is that he has the abortion.

00:30:36.000 There's a button that changes the decision in his pocket, so I think she's trying to reach for it.

00:30:41.000 Oh, I see.

00:30:41.000 Yeah, there is a button.

00:30:42.000 It's called a gun.

00:30:44.000 And if you reach and push a certain button, this all goes away.

00:30:49.000 You don't have to worry about it.

00:30:50.000 Speaking of worrying, actually, we have...

00:30:52.000 Do you have Jen Spetman on the line? 0.84

00:30:54.000 I do have her.

00:30:55.000 Yeah.

00:30:55.000 It looks like she's getting her camera all set up then.

00:30:58.000 There she is.

00:30:59.000 Hey, Jen. 0.99

00:30:59.000 Jen Putman. 0.99

00:31:00.000 I got to be honest here.

00:31:01.000 I'm kind of freaking out.

00:31:02.000 It's all right.

00:31:04.000 It's all right.

00:31:05.000 I feel that way too.

00:31:07.000 Like, I want to scream.

00:31:08.000 I want to scream right now.

00:31:09.000 Let's scream together, okay?

00:31:11.000 Okay.

00:31:11.000 Let's scream together.

00:31:24.000 Okay.

00:31:26.000 You know, there's kind of a happy side to this.

00:31:28.000 It's not totally legal everywhere.

00:31:30.000 The happy side is it's like this let's have to travel thing.

00:31:34.000 And that's, you can still get in the bushes.

00:31:36.000 Everybody wants to show the happy side.

00:31:46.000 I feel like you're not even listening to me right now.

00:31:48.000 Because I have responsibilities.

00:31:50.000 I'm going to do these freaking niches. 1.00

00:31:53.000 I don't think she could hear us.

00:31:54.000 No, I don't think so.

00:31:57.000 We lost the connection anyway, so...

00:32:02.000 Someone sent consequences in the mailbag, and it is good enough to make it to the show.

00:32:08.000 I make fun of Stephen Colbert because he has 14 people writing for the show, but we do get like 100 emails a day.

00:32:14.000 So I kind of have a massive team, too.

00:32:16.000 They just don't help with these funny jokes.

00:32:18.000 And what was this again?

00:32:20.000 Consequences.

00:32:23.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:32:23.000 This is great.

00:32:24.000 This is great.

00:32:24.000 This is exactly what I'm talking about.

00:32:26.000 So these guys charge the police, just like you saw Earlier, this is in Greenville, South Carolina, but they don't stand for that shit in Greenville, so they're getting arrested.

00:32:34.000 Some trans woman's getting arrested there, some dude with faked hits. 1.00

00:32:38.000 And listen to this woman talking about it. 0.98

00:32:40.000 You're gonna have to go back to the beginning.

00:32:41.000 Listen to her indignation over people getting arrested for fucking with cops.

00:32:47.000 They're tasing her, and she just hit her head on the concrete.

00:32:51.000 Fucking takes.

00:33:03.000 They just tased them. 0.87

00:33:04.000 And she hit her head on the pavement.

00:33:13.000 What you're hearing is consequences.

00:33:15.000 Baby Monster's right. 1.00

00:33:16.000 You're hearing what happens when people start pick a fight.

00:33:21.000 Like for every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction.

00:33:28.000 Let her go! 1.00

00:33:31.000 What's your best number, King?

00:33:40.000 She needs medical attention. 0.99

00:33:41.000 She's not even medical.

00:33:43.000 She doesn't need medical attention.

00:33:44.000 Can she breathe?

00:33:45.000 Can she not breathe either?

00:33:47.000 Look at them shaking their head.

00:33:48.000 This is bullshit.

00:33:53.000 You know what I realized talking to someone the other day?

00:33:55.000 I don't really quite get all the details of this.

00:33:57.000 Like in Texas, if you needed an abortion, you couldn't get one, right? 0.99

00:34:02.000 Ever.

00:34:03.000 No matter what.

00:34:05.000 What if you needed the baby to be miscarried or you die?

00:34:10.000 Did they do that in Texas?

00:34:11.000 I think they still do that.

00:34:13.000 Yeah, I think they've always done that.

00:34:16.000 I don't know, though.

00:34:19.000 But wait a minute.

00:34:21.000 No, no, but it was a federal law.

00:34:23.000 It was a federal right to abortion. 0.96

00:34:25.000 So that would mean red states would have to do it.

00:34:27.000 So now it's saying, no, red states don't have to do it anymore.

00:34:30.000 And they won't.

00:34:34.000 It's not a big deal if it's not federal.

00:34:36.000 Here's the thing, ladies. 0.99

00:34:38.000 If you can still get an abortion, you don't have a lot to complain about.

00:34:41.000 And the craziest part is, outside of that, what we just saw, most of these protests, like the ones in Los Angeles, are in blue states.

00:34:48.000 So you're burning down your own blue city, screaming and attacking cops and getting arrested for, I guess, another state where they democratically voted and said, we don't want this here.

00:34:59.000 Remember, about 50% of women are pro-life.

00:35:02.000 Yeah, but they're stupid Christian pitches. 0.79

00:35:04.000 Oh, okay.

00:35:05.000 Sounds like you don't believe all women. 0.90

00:35:07.000 I'm feeling upset.

00:35:14.000 You know what you should do?

00:35:16.000 Is edit that guy back with her?

00:35:19.000 Yeah.

00:35:22.000 We tried it.

00:35:22.000 That's too woody, Alan, inside-y.

00:35:24.000 And we already did the joke much better than that.

00:35:27.000 Someone brought up something, 2-0.

00:35:29.000 Yeah, having companies who don't want to pay maternity leave pay for you to go...

00:35:34.000 Oh, we'll see how she phrased it.

00:35:35.000 I thought this was a very smart take on it.

00:35:37.000 The idea that employers will pay a female employee's expenses to go kill a baby so she can remain at work as a productive employee is so much more dystopian than any of the handmaid's tale fanfiction.

00:35:49.000 Fuck, man.

00:35:50.000 Hey, good news.

00:35:51.000 I'm pregnant.

00:35:51.000 Is there maternity leave here?

00:35:54.000 We'll pay for you to get rid of it so you can keep working.

00:35:57.000 Okay, thank you.

00:35:58.000 You're welcome.

00:35:59.000 Now get us to work.

00:36:00.000 That's so fucking funny.

00:36:01.000 So true.

00:36:03.000 You see Patrice O'Neill's take on it?

00:36:06.000 No?

00:36:06.000 This was awesome.

00:36:07.000 I thought I couldn't love Patrice O'Neill.

00:36:08.000 Wait, he's dead, isn't he?

00:36:10.000 Yeah, but somehow he...

00:36:11.000 He still gives hot takes?

00:36:12.000 I don't know how that works, but he still has the hottest of takes.

00:36:15.000 Yo, Patrice, thanks for the hot take, my brother.

00:36:19.000 My body may be cold, but my takes is hot.

00:36:22.000 He doesn't talk like that.

00:36:24.000 I had no idea he was pro-life.

00:36:27.000 You should do a Patrice celebrity mailbag.

00:36:29.000 Can you do it, Patrice?

00:36:30.000 I don't think so.

00:36:30.000 I could try it.

00:36:31.000 I don't think women should be, they don't have a choice. 1.00

00:36:35.000 I don't believe after they're pregnant, there's one excuse, great. 1.00

00:36:38.000 Other than that, it's not their body normal.

00:36:42.000 It's not your body once you're pregnant. 0.94

00:36:46.000 Wait, no, once it's an apartment.

00:36:48.000 After you're pregnant, it doesn't belong to you. 1.00

00:36:51.000 Because God didn't ask you if you wanted a choice to be able to make babies.

00:36:56.000 And He didn't ask us if men wanted a choice to be able to have sperm.

00:37:00.000 We just happen to be able to do it.

00:37:02.000 But the result is not your body.

00:37:04.000 The result.

00:37:05.000 I'm saying the result is the baby's body.

00:37:08.000 It's the baby's body.

00:37:09.000 It's not your body after you're pregnant.

00:37:11.000 Uh-oh.

00:37:12.000 I don't think women are. 1.00

00:37:13.000 Uh-oh.

00:37:15.000 This was also a very handmade's tale.

00:37:16.000 The left is everything they despise.

00:37:20.000 We should just stand back.

00:37:21.000 I mean, they're already ending their legacy, right?

00:37:23.000 They're not having kids.

00:37:24.000 So I've been thinking about this.

00:37:25.000 Like, when I see these people, like, fuck, I'm not having kids and fuck you.

00:37:28.000 I'm like, my children, and definitely my grandchildren, are never going to have to deal with you people.

00:37:33.000 You've purposely, not purposefully, you've purposely made yourself go extinct.

00:37:38.000 Bye-bye.

00:37:40.000 Home to no mommy.

00:37:43.000 But look at this fucking disturbing handmaid. 1.00

00:37:46.000 Bye-bye.

00:37:47.000 Bye, everybody.

00:37:49.000 Well, this isn't a good example of bye-bye, but it is a good example of the handmaid's tale.

00:37:53.000 Look at that.

00:37:54.000 You and I are in love, and our slave is in the background breeding for us.

00:38:00.000 You'll notice her face is covered, too.

00:38:03.000 Can't see the face.

00:38:05.000 Bye-bye, face. 0.99

00:38:09.000 This was a really weird thing that happened from it.

00:38:13.000 And first of all, I don't think it's statistically true.

00:38:18.000 If we ban abortion, there's going to be more black babies. 1.00

00:38:21.000 That's just a fact, which is why real deal heavy shit racists love abortion. 1.00

00:38:27.000 Like the woman who started Planned Parenthood, Margaret Sanger, said it's good for the country's general DNA and IQ because there'll be less of them damn Negroes. 1.00

00:38:36.000 But to hear that kind of talk...

00:38:38.000 Oh, anyway, so that's the...

00:38:40.000 If you really are obsessed with racial politics in this country, then, and you want blacks to die, you should be pro-choice. 0.98

00:38:48.000 That's the best way to get rid of them.

00:38:50.000 I'm not that.

00:38:51.000 I don't want them to die.

00:38:53.000 But to say that being pro-life is good for white lives, Blacks are having the majority of the abortions. 0.97

00:39:02.000 So isn't it a disproportionately black thing?

00:39:05.000 What's this bitch talking about? 1.00

00:39:07.000 I think this was a slip-up, if you listen closely.

00:39:09.000 What she chose to say, right, life?

00:39:12.000 President Trump, on behalf of all the MAGA patriots in America, I want to thank you for the historic victory for life in the Supreme Court yesterday.

00:39:26.000 You know what I mean?

00:39:27.000 Like, why, life.

00:39:29.000 There was no...

00:39:30.000 Oh, she didn't mean to say white.

00:39:31.000 She was going to say wife because she kind of just fumbled.

00:39:35.000 Supreme Court yesterday.

00:39:37.000 Oh, sorry.

00:39:38.000 Victory for why life in the Supreme Court.

00:39:41.000 Victory for Stan Black and Stan Bly.

00:39:44.000 For why, life?

00:39:46.000 For life.

00:39:47.000 Yeah, that's it.

00:39:48.000 She's used to saying wife.

00:39:50.000 Well, look it up.

00:39:53.000 She made a statement or something.

00:39:55.000 Frankly, she's not wrong.

00:39:57.000 I mean, but it is kind of weird.

00:39:58.000 Oh, so I'm doing all this analysis.

00:40:01.000 Well, I'm not sure if it's a...

00:40:04.000 What was her name again?

00:40:06.000 Miller.

00:40:07.000 Just look up White Life Controversy Trump.

00:40:09.000 White Life. 0.87

00:40:10.000 Here we're doing live corrections on the show, folks.

00:40:13.000 But yeah, it's funny that this debate is ever considered racial or even that it's considered gender-based.

00:40:22.000 This debate is about the ethics of human life.

00:40:24.000 When is it a human?

00:40:25.000 That's it.

00:40:26.000 Yes, I know women tend to host the baby, but we're not really talking about her.

00:40:30.000 We're talking about it.

00:40:31.000 And it can be male or female.

00:40:33.000 So, by the way, when you've seen abortion-heavy countries like China, what they do to the girls, it becomes gendercide. 0.93

00:40:41.000 They're literally floating down the river.

00:40:43.000 Fuck those bitches. 1.00

00:40:44.000 You see that in the Middle East.

00:40:46.000 You see that in India.

00:40:47.000 You see it in a lot of cultures that are obsessed with the legacy and the money being passed down from generation to generation.

00:40:54.000 They don't want girls. 1.00

00:40:55.000 So when they see an ultrasound, they get rid of the cunts. 0.99

00:40:59.000 Here's this.

00:41:01.000 Okay, there we go.

00:41:03.000 Flub.

00:41:06.000 And scroll down and...

00:41:08.000 Yeah, Ryan cracked this case.

00:41:10.000 Detective Shitty actually cracked a case.

00:41:12.000 Holy shit.

00:41:13.000 Go down a bit.

00:41:20.000 She said it was a victory for White Life, and people. 1.00

00:41:23.000 Yes, we saw that.

00:41:24.000 Keep going.

00:41:28.000 Whether it was a slip-up or not, the audience heard White Life and didn't flinch.

00:41:32.000 They applauded.

00:41:33.000 No, not really.

00:41:34.000 It was kind of awkward.

00:41:36.000 And at those things, you can't really hear what's going on.

00:41:38.000 You're like, yeah, a lot of people get into the sort of the rhythm and the cadence of like, da-da-da, ta-dee-dee, badoo-be-doo.

00:41:47.000 They're not really parsing through the syntax and making sure they approve of every single quote.

00:41:53.000 Did not flub at all.

00:41:54.000 No, it wasn't a flub.

00:41:55.000 There was no fucking flub.

00:41:56.000 No, Dan, it was.

00:41:58.000 It was.

00:41:58.000 She was flaps.

00:42:00.000 She said it's a flub.

00:42:01.000 And by the way, the fucking dolphins have been good.

00:42:03.000 Whatever.

00:42:05.000 Go back.

00:42:07.000 Some Twitter users didn't find Wartman's argument convincing enough.

00:42:11.000 What?

00:42:12.000 So she's lying?

00:42:14.000 In what universe does someone mix up white life and right to life? 1.00

00:42:18.000 Oh, that's what she was doing.

00:42:21.000 Yeah, that seems pretty reasonable to me.

00:42:23.000 In what universe?

00:42:24.000 This one.

00:42:26.000 The universe.

00:42:27.000 Oh, Ron Flipkowski.

00:42:28.000 That guy's one of the worst.

00:42:30.000 I realize she will say it was a mistake, but it's what's in their head.

00:42:33.000 They're so desperate for racism.

00:42:36.000 Imagine living your life desperate for racism.

00:42:41.000 Miller has made similar controversial comments in January during a Moms for America, Save the Republic rally, where she quoted Adolf Hitler.

00:42:48.000 Hitler was right on one thing. 0.97

00:42:50.000 He said, whoever has the youth have the future.

00:42:52.000 Yeah, maybe she's just an idiot. 1.00

00:42:54.000 Hitler is right in that sense, that whoever does have the youth has the future. 0.99

00:42:59.000 We've learned that from McDonald's, Camel Cigarettes, Cheerios, the radical left, and their Drag Queen Story Hour.

00:43:06.000 And she's not saying that's what we should do.

00:43:07.000 That's saying that's what they're doing.

00:43:08.000 They're following Hitler's playbook. 0.95

00:43:10.000 Right.

00:43:10.000 Oh, I see, yeah.

00:43:12.000 Oh, that's two cases.

00:43:13.000 But don't quote Hitler anyway.

00:43:15.000 It's fucking lame that he's become the thing we all talk about all day.

00:43:20.000 I bet even he would be like, guys, fucking move on.

00:43:23.000 Move in Stuffenfaft.

00:43:24.000 That's his accent after moving to Argentina.

00:43:27.000 Well, he's been dead for so long he lost his accent.

00:43:30.000 He has hell accents. 0.82

00:43:31.000 You want to hear how Hitler talks right now?

00:43:33.000 He's like, oh my God, you guys need to get over this shit.

00:43:36.000 Sorry.

00:43:37.000 I'm the bad guy.

00:43:38.000 Get it.

00:43:39.000 I'm literally Hitler. 0.87

00:43:40.000 Is there an accent in hell? 0.97

00:43:42.000 Yeah, it's kind of grevely.

00:43:44.000 It's kind of like, yeah.

00:43:46.000 Doofus stuff.

00:43:47.000 It's hot down here.

00:43:48.000 I'll tell you what, I'd do anything for a fucking cold glass of water.

00:43:55.000 So yeah, that's another nothing burger that got plenty of fucking legs because people want America to be racist really badly.

00:44:02.000 Why?

00:44:02.000 Because they feel guilty.

00:44:04.000 Black failure, white guilt. 0.96

00:44:05.000 They want to explain black failure. 0.98

00:44:06.000 And the go-to for not just the left, but a lot of the right is they're victims of racism.

00:44:11.000 That's why blacks are doing badly. 1.00

00:44:12.000 Really?

00:44:13.000 Why are Indians doing well? 1.00

00:44:14.000 Why are African immigrants doing great? 1.00

00:44:16.000 Why are Asians destroying whites? 1.00

00:44:20.000 Why are whites the seventh most successful ethnic group in America after 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6?

00:44:26.000 Oh, I get it, Gavins.

00:44:28.000 You think they're inferior.

00:44:29.000 That's why they're doing bad.

00:44:30.000 Is that what you're saying?

00:44:31.000 No, I'm not saying that.

00:44:32.000 I'm saying they're doing badly because you got rid of the dad.

00:44:35.000 You shattered the American black family. 1.00

00:44:37.000 Back before welfare was the thing to do, the crime statistics were just the same with black and white. 0.86

00:44:43.000 Things were going pretty good before welfare took over.

00:44:46.000 In other words, before communism got involved.

00:44:49.000 And besides, the beauty of this political sphere is we don't do identity politics.

00:44:55.000 So if McGill University loses all of their affirmative action shit and becomes 100% Asian, we don't give a shit. 0.99

00:45:02.000 If a bank is run by just white men and they're all there for merit, we don't give a shit. 0.90

00:45:07.000 If the NBA is 100% black dudes, go Benenes. 1.00

00:45:11.000 I don't care.

00:45:13.000 I just want quality.

00:45:15.000 I just want truth.

00:45:18.000 And finally, I was going to say, so I told you about I was practicing baseball.

00:45:24.000 I mentioned this on stage, actually.

00:45:25.000 I'm practicing baseball with my youngest boy, who's nine, and there's all these women chanting Abortion rights, abortion rights are human rights. 0.88

00:45:32.000 And then we got pictures and signs.

00:45:34.000 And my son's like, What's all that about?

00:45:36.000 They're in a park.

00:45:37.000 Like, it's not a very popular park up in Westchester.

00:45:41.000 And they go from like the CVS through a school to a park.

00:45:45.000 What?

00:45:46.000 And then they start screaming about abortion.

00:45:49.000 And my son goes, What's all that about?

00:45:50.000 And I go, they want the right to kill babies. 0.98

00:45:52.000 And he goes, oh, can we go practice that field over there?

00:45:58.000 And I go, why?

00:45:59.000 Let's try to hit them. 0.95

00:46:01.000 And he's like, yeah, maybe if I get a line drive, I could make it over there.

00:46:06.000 But yeah, if you're a kid and you see people saying, we want the right to kill babies, you must be like, hmm, I was a baby like six years ago, seven years ago.

00:46:13.000 This is making me uncomfortable.

00:46:15.000 Same with people with Down syndrome.

00:46:17.000 They must be uncomfortable when they see people screaming about the right to get rid of Down syndrome because it's basically gone.

00:46:23.000 They have successfully eradicated that person.

00:46:26.000 They have committed genocide.

00:46:29.000 Isn't that a thing we should talk about?

00:46:32.000 That they got rid of a type of person?

00:46:34.000 I mean, Hitler is the worst thing in the world, right?

00:46:36.000 He tried to get rid of the Jews.

00:46:37.000 What about the liberals who successfully got rid of Down syndrome?

00:46:41.000 When was the last time you saw someone in real life with Down syndrome?

00:46:45.000 That should be one of your face swaths. 0.96

00:46:47.000 I think last year.

00:46:48.000 You're going to do that?

00:46:50.000 Is that your new character?

00:46:51.000 I don't think that'll be anything.

00:46:52.000 Oh, you're doing it right now?

00:46:53.000 No, I'm not.

00:46:54.000 This is my real face.

00:46:55.000 Oh, sure.

00:46:57.000 You didn't do a character all day.

00:46:59.000 From now on, you have to do three guys a show.

00:47:02.000 Ew.

00:47:02.000 Oh.

00:47:04.000 But check out 2-3.

00:47:07.000 This just is creepy to me.

00:47:11.000 She's got a sign that says, don't force this on anyone.

00:47:14.000 And there's her two disgusting kids. 1.00

00:47:18.000 Like, mom, do you regret it?

00:47:21.000 Should we not have done this?

00:47:23.000 I'm sorry, mom?

00:47:26.000 Seems a little harsh to me.

00:47:30.000 Isn't it?

00:47:31.000 Don't force this.

00:47:32.000 I know this isn't what you want, and I'm sorry.

00:47:35.000 It's like that.

00:47:37.000 By the way, that guy's makeup is not getting him on the cover of a magazine.

00:47:39.000 He sucks.

00:47:44.000 It's like that article last week where it said, this teen Texan couldn't get an abortion, and now she has twins. 0.78

00:47:53.000 Did you see if you can dig that up?

00:47:55.000 And it's a woman changing diapers of two fucking gifts from God. 1.00

00:48:00.000 These are the cutest things in the world.

00:48:01.000 But we talked about it last week, right?

00:48:03.000 Yes.

00:48:04.000 The color on the picture is kind of gray, and they make them look a little stiff.

00:48:07.000 Like, you know, when you get knocked out and your feet are like, but even then, they look like little angels.

00:48:14.000 And this cunt who wrote the article is like, can you imagine being stuck with those? 0.97

00:48:18.000 And I'm like, yeah, awesome.

00:48:21.000 Yes, please, God.

00:48:23.000 Well, now I'm getting pretty old at 51.

00:48:25.000 It's going to be tough to be a dad at 72, but I wish we had twins.

00:48:30.000 That would have been perfect.

00:48:31.000 Three kids and twins.

00:48:32.000 So my teenage daughter, my teenage son, we could have stuck some twins in the middle, and then my nine-year-old.

00:48:38.000 So I'd have nine, and then 11, two 11-year-olds, and then 13 and 15.

00:48:49.000 Did you find the picture?

00:48:50.000 I'm going through all the GML notes looking right now.

00:48:52.000 That's not the way to do it, Ryan.

00:48:54.000 The way to do it is just to go Washington Post, Texas, teen twins.

00:49:01.000 Shall I do it in a fraction of a second?

00:49:03.000 No, I got it.

00:49:06.000 And twins.

00:49:08.000 After we get that up, I want to talk about Anna Navarro.

00:49:10.000 This Texas teen wanted... 0.69

00:49:12.000 Oh, they changed the picture, by the way.

00:49:14.000 Oh, interesting.

00:49:16.000 Let's see.

00:49:16.000 Got a disabled JavaScript.

00:49:18.000 I think I put it on Getter, too.

00:49:20.000 Anna Navarro, who has the IQ of a very intelligent child, maybe like a six-year-old prodigy.

00:49:29.000 Actually, no, yeah, that's about right.

00:49:31.000 She's a genius six-year-old, said, you know, it's very important we talk about abortion because I have a brother who has special needs.

00:49:39.000 You know, he's very expensive.

00:49:41.000 And, you know, someone shouldn't have to have someone like him and have no choice.

00:49:47.000 Hey, um, Anna.

00:49:50.000 Hello, Sergio.

00:49:51.000 How are you doing?

00:49:52.000 Not great, to be totally honest.

00:49:54.000 I heard your thing today.

00:49:57.000 Yes?

00:49:58.000 You talking about aborting me?

00:50:00.000 No, we can afford you.

00:50:02.000 But if we were poor, I would definitely want to abort you. 0.95

00:50:04.000 Oh, okay.

00:50:06.000 So if you went bankrupt, you'd suit me?

00:50:09.000 Well, no, you're already here.

00:50:11.000 But if we had a time machine and we were poor, I definitely wouldn't have...

00:50:14.000 I would have told my mom to kill you. 0.99

00:50:17.000 Okay, thank you.

00:50:19.000 I'm going to be buying a lock, a Deadbolt from my bedroom door on Amazon.

00:50:23.000 If it arrives, let me know.

00:50:27.000 What are you doing now?

00:50:30.000 Waiting.

00:50:31.000 So you're giving up on the Washington Post thing?

00:50:33.000 Oh, no.

00:50:37.000 Oh, fuck.

00:50:37.000 I just signed in.

00:50:39.000 Okay, you're not doing your job very well.

00:50:41.000 And is that picture anywhere there?

00:50:43.000 Well, you wouldn't know.

00:50:43.000 Okay, let's drop that.

00:50:44.000 That's a fail.

00:50:47.000 And let's look at the Ana Navarro thing.

00:50:50.000 All right, sounds to me like she's saying, I wish my brother was never born.

00:50:54.000 Or my family should have the right to not have my brother.

00:51:01.000 The ugly cruelty.

00:51:03.000 Ana Navarro points to special needs brother, other family with Down syndrome, for proof women need abortions.

00:51:08.000 Lady, like they say if you're going to have an affair in France anyway, they say it should be one gas tank away, which I guess is like 100 miles.

00:51:18.000 If you're going to talk about aborting people, maybe you'll try to leave the confirms, what's the word I'm looking for?

00:51:26.000 The confines of your own home.

00:51:30.000 Like you're talking about family members.

00:51:33.000 Take it down a notch, lady. 1.00

00:51:35.000 I am not anybody who tell you what you need to do with your life or with your uterus. 0.98

00:51:39.000 And because I have a family with a lot of special needs kids, I have a brother who's 57 and has the mental and motive skills of a one-year-old.

00:51:48.000 And I know what that means financially, emotionally, physically for a family.

00:51:54.000 And I know not how families can do it.

00:51:56.000 And I have a step-granddaughter who was born with Down syndrome.

00:52:00.000 And you know what?

00:52:01.000 It is very difficult in Florida to get services.

00:52:04.000 It is not as easy as it sounds on paper.

00:52:07.000 And I've got another, another step-grandson who is very autistic, who has autism, and it is incredible.

00:52:15.000 Now you're talking about aborting autistic kids?

00:52:18.000 Now we've got to get rid of people who aren't too obsessed with baseball stats?

00:52:21.000 Yeah, they're dead too?

00:52:22.000 Crazy.

00:52:23.000 And I have another.

00:52:24.000 I have an uncle with a huge birthmark on his neck.

00:52:27.000 He looks like Australia. 0.97

00:52:29.000 People think that he loves Australia and they talk to him with Australian accent.

00:52:33.000 It's very, very hard.

00:52:35.000 And so he wheeze it and a little bit of juice comes out where Perth is.

00:52:39.000 And I have a friend who is left-handed.

00:52:42.000 It's very hard for him.

00:52:43.000 When he draws with a charcoal pen doing life drawing, everything gets smudged.

00:52:49.000 He can only use pens.

00:52:50.000 When he writes with pencil, it's all smudging.

00:52:53.000 He used crayon on the Christmas card for us.

00:52:55.000 I couldn't read shit.

00:52:56.000 No, he tried to eat it as a barbecue and he picked up the chicken.

00:53:00.000 It's so messy.

00:53:01.000 I have a cousin.

00:53:02.000 He has very long hair.

00:53:04.000 It's very hard for him.

00:53:05.000 When he shit, he have to sort of butt it up in a man bun or it gets in the toilet water.

00:53:10.000 See, and when he starts sweating, oh, the water, the sweat go everywhere.

00:53:15.000 I know.

00:53:15.000 I have a neighbor who is not a supermodel or a rocket scientist.

00:53:20.000 I tried to kill her. 0.98

00:53:21.000 They say, no, it's very hard.

00:53:23.000 No one should be born, basically.

00:53:25.000 And then my other neighbor, I saw them going to get the mail once and they were limping.

00:53:29.000 So I think something wrong with them too.

00:53:32.000 Nothing wrong with them.

00:53:32.000 I have a great-grandfather.

00:53:34.000 He's very old.

00:53:35.000 It's very hard to get services.

00:53:37.000 He should have been aborted.

00:53:40.000 Some people are over 100 years old.

00:53:42.000 They need to be aborted now.

00:53:44.000 I have a niece, okay?

00:53:46.000 She's seven months old.

00:53:47.000 She sits herself, okay?

00:53:49.000 I have a baby.

00:53:50.000 He was born unable to walk.

00:53:51.000 They said he wouldn't walk till he was at least one year old.

00:53:55.000 He was in a stroller for one entire year.

00:53:58.000 And he couldn't go to the bathroom.

00:54:00.000 He had to wear what we call diapers.

00:54:03.000 And he would pee and poo into his diapers for almost three years. 0.75

00:54:07.000 They call them hoggies, but you don't want to huggy him when he shits himself.

00:54:11.000 I was pregnant.

00:54:12.000 The baby was going to be born on Christmas.

00:54:15.000 You know how fucked up that is for a child?

00:54:17.000 Because you get half as many presents.

00:54:18.000 Because they're already buying presents for Christmas.

00:54:20.000 So you get kind of like shitty presents as opposed to those fuckers in July.

00:54:25.000 So I aborted him and I got closer to July with the third after the third abortion.

00:54:30.000 Now my baby, she gets tons of presents Christmas, tons of presents July.

00:54:34.000 But then the birthday party aren't so good.

00:54:37.000 No.

00:54:37.000 Because everyone's away for the vacation.

00:54:40.000 So then I aborted her.

00:54:41.000 And then it's snowing on your birthday?

00:54:42.000 Nobody has to live with that.

00:54:44.000 Nobody should have to live with snowy birthdays.

00:54:47.000 Actually, I'm so annoying.

00:54:48.000 I'm going to abort myself right now.

00:54:51.000 Well, this just in.

00:54:52.000 And by the way, you know her brother watched the show because only retards watch CNN. 1.00

00:55:00.000 All right, let's get down to the mail B. Totally true.

00:55:06.000 It's a fact.

00:55:09.000 Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.

00:55:14.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mail back.

00:55:20.000 Let me touch it.

00:55:21.000 You know, I don't feel that shitty today.

00:55:23.000 Oh, yeah?

00:55:24.000 The visiting John and Max that Monday was, I was, I didn't have AIDS, I was AIDS.

00:55:30.000 Then Tuesday I had AIDS.

00:55:33.000 And then Wednesday I had HIV.

00:55:35.000 And by Thursday, I was down to just a bunch of STDs and anal pain.

00:55:40.000 That sounds like shit.

00:55:42.000 I drank this weekend.

00:55:43.000 Fucking, I was telling, I feel like an asshole because I was telling Josh, Denny, like, how much I don't drink.

00:55:48.000 Be like, yeah, I don't drink either, man.

00:55:49.000 It'd be good to hang out with somebody sober.

00:55:51.000 And then as soon as we get in the room with, and Anthony's there, I'm like, I can't hang around Anthony's sober.

00:55:56.000 I'm going to be a fucking nerd and be like, remember that time you...

00:55:59.000 So just to be in the zone and relaxed.

00:56:03.000 Because you're such a fanboy?

00:56:04.000 Yes, I'm a fanboy.

00:56:06.000 That's gay. 1.00

00:56:07.000 But I drank until I with Rusty Cage until I disabled myself kicking a wall.

00:56:16.000 I was gesturing what I would do in a fight if we got attacked in Orlando.

00:56:20.000 Where?

00:56:21.000 At the bar you were doing that?

00:56:22.000 No, at his hotel.

00:56:23.000 We were just drinking whiskey straight until like five in the morning.

00:56:27.000 Huh.

00:56:28.000 Oh, that's you.

00:56:29.000 That's your wound?

00:56:30.000 That's my wound, yeah.

00:56:32.000 What happened?

00:56:32.000 Did you pick a scab?

00:56:33.000 It is the entire layer of skin ripped off of my foot and flap.

00:56:38.000 No, no, no.

00:56:39.000 It's bad.

00:56:40.000 I have a picture of it if you'd like to see.

00:56:42.000 Yes, I'd love to see.

00:56:43.000 I'd just like to warn everyone, this is not bad.

00:56:45.000 This is going to be super lame.

00:56:47.000 Well, give me an hour.

00:56:48.000 You're going to be embarrassed.

00:56:49.000 I think you're wrong.

00:56:50.000 I'm going to show you why.

00:56:51.000 Prepare yourselves.

00:56:52.000 This is SFW, safe for work.

00:56:55.000 Safe, SFA, safe for anybody, anywhere, anytime.

00:57:00.000 What?

00:57:01.000 That ruled.

00:57:02.000 No.

00:57:03.000 That sucks.

00:57:04.000 You changed the acronym as you were explaining what it is.

00:57:06.000 Good point.

00:57:08.000 Okay.

00:57:09.000 Well, here it is.

00:57:14.000 Oh, my.

00:57:14.000 I had no idea, Ryan.

00:57:16.000 I told you.

00:57:16.000 How many stitches did the aunt who stitched you up do?

00:57:20.000 My aunt is my uncle's wife.

00:57:26.000 That went nowhere, and I'm sorry.

00:57:30.000 Yeah, so what I did was when did we go down?

00:57:34.000 Friday night, right?

00:57:36.000 We got in so late that it was whatever.

00:57:40.000 Our flight clock got delayed.

00:57:43.000 Then we got in there.

00:57:44.000 Drank a normal amount.

00:57:45.000 Saturday, I started drinking around noon.

00:57:48.000 I knew the only way I could blow this comedy thing would be to be wasted.

00:57:51.000 So I stuck to beer, but I had to get doing something.

00:57:54.000 The biggest mistake we made was getting a shitty hotel.

00:57:56.000 Next time, we've got to do a good hotel with a pool that we can hang out in.

00:58:03.000 Drank all those beers, but I couldn't eat because I was so nervous.

00:58:07.000 I wanted to do a good job out of respect to the baby monsters.

00:58:10.000 I wasn't nervous like, uh-oh, people aren't going to like me.

00:58:12.000 I was nervous, like, I don't want to let people down, especially if they flew in.

00:58:15.000 Like, some people were from Australia, Sweden.

00:58:19.000 They had really trekked out.

00:58:21.000 They were all great.

00:58:22.000 Some couple drove like 16 hours.

00:58:25.000 Yeah.

00:58:25.000 Oh, that was a common thing.

00:58:27.000 I asked everybody where they're from.

00:58:28.000 I think the average was like a 14 to 7 hour drive.

00:58:32.000 Wild.

00:58:34.000 One of these guys had this...

00:58:36.000 Anyway.

00:58:38.000 With super insanely hot wife?

00:58:40.000 Yeah.

00:58:42.000 And when a wife is that hot and the guy's a fan, you want to be like, Can I have that? 0.97

00:58:48.000 Yeah.

00:58:49.000 Like, it was weird with my brother when he was a baby and stuff.

00:58:51.000 I was always a mean big brother.

00:58:53.000 So if he was eating like a Mars bar, I'd just be like, that's mine.

00:58:56.000 That's mine.

00:58:56.000 Everything is mine.

00:58:57.000 So then he would get older and he's like, you know, 20 and he's got a hot girlfriend.

00:59:01.000 I'm like, that's mine.

00:59:03.000 I want that.

00:59:04.000 No, Uday Hussein, you can't have that. 0.82

00:59:07.000 Now that he's huge, you could just put five open Mars bars in front of him and be like, go ahead.

00:59:12.000 Take it.

00:59:13.000 Fish ow. 0.83

00:59:16.000 This is called Muslim Inbred. 1.00

00:59:18.000 Not trying to laugh at the poor bastard, but is this dude not the most quintessential result of Muslim inbreeding? 1.00

00:59:23.000 Yeah, this is a tricky subject because I brought it up on Joe Rogan, and they said, Gavin McInnes literally thinks Muslims are too inbred to be in America, which I did kind of say.

00:59:37.000 I said there's problems with Muslim communities when they get to more than 10% of the population, and I think that's due to their problems with inbreeding. 1.00

00:59:45.000 And that blows people's minds because they haven't looked shit up, and they're not really genuinely curious about this shit.

00:59:51.000 But that guy absolutely is a result of that problem, and it's a major problem in the Muslim world. 1.00

00:59:58.000 And it's especially bad in Britain where it's a small subset of Pakistanis who have moved there. 0.98

01:00:03.000 So they have even less to choose from.

01:00:06.000 But here's how you bring this up to people.

01:00:08.000 First of all, you find the correct name.

01:00:10.000 I think it's called consensuation.

01:00:12.000 That makes you sound smart.

01:00:16.000 First cousin inbreeding.

01:00:19.000 And secondly, if you're sending someone an article about it, make sure the author is Muslim.

01:00:28.000 And that way they can't get mad and call it racist.

01:00:33.000 Consanguineous.

01:00:36.000 Consanginanius.

01:00:37.000 What's that?

01:00:38.000 Let's look it up, pronounce.

01:00:39.000 Let's make a music.

01:00:39.000 Consangenious?

01:00:41.000 Yeah.

01:00:43.000 Consanguineous.

01:00:46.000 Consantinople.

01:00:47.000 Consanguineous.

01:00:48.000 Consanguineous.

01:00:49.000 Consanguineous.

01:00:50.000 So say consanguineous.

01:00:51.000 Consanguineous.

01:00:53.000 And make sure.

01:00:54.000 Consanguineous.

01:00:55.000 Consanguineous.

01:00:56.000 Consanguineous.

01:00:57.000 Consanguineous.

01:00:58.000 Consanguineous.

01:01:00.000 Make sure you use a Muslim guy. 0.99

01:01:02.000 And here's another little tip, by the way, that I've learned over the years.

01:01:05.000 It's a lie.

01:01:06.000 I know I'm against lying, and I say the truth will set you free.

01:01:09.000 Here's a little white lie I like to do that really helps things.

01:01:12.000 And I'm sorry for doing it.

01:01:13.000 It's playing dirty pool, but it helps facilitate the conversation.

01:01:17.000 It gets things moving.

01:01:18.000 Tell liberals that you hate Trump, but you like his fans and his policies.

01:01:26.000 And it's like a magic sentence.

01:01:28.000 I say, look, believe me, I don't want the guy to come over for dinner, but I just think the country's better off with him.

01:01:33.000 And I think we need better borders and we need more free market.

01:01:36.000 And, you know, the people that support him seem like real, honest, good, hardworking blue-collar Americans.

01:01:42.000 And I feel an affiliation with that for whatever reason.

01:01:45.000 And they're like, oh, so you don't worship him?

01:01:47.000 I'm like, no.

01:01:48.000 Meanwhile, I would fucking kill my kids on Christmas Day to have him over for a BLT. 0.99

01:01:55.000 But that doesn't sell because they think we're part of a cult.

01:01:57.000 They think it's Scientology and he's out on Auburn.

01:02:00.000 So as soon as you cut that caesarean with the umbilical cord and you go, no, no, no, I find him annoying.

01:02:06.000 All the tweets, those were the worst.

01:02:10.000 Now, don't do this lie every time you talk to someone or you're a pussy. 0.99

01:02:13.000 But if it's very important that you facilitate a conversation, like say your sister is not speaking to you anymore, I find that's a very healthy little tip.

01:02:21.000 If he did come over under that circumstance, he'd be like, why is it so empty?

01:02:26.000 You live alone?

01:02:27.000 Why are you crying?

01:02:30.000 Why is there blood everywhere?

01:02:33.000 Is that tomato juice?

01:02:34.000 I don't really.

01:02:35.000 First look at that.

01:02:36.000 Lots of tomato juice.

01:02:39.000 Yeah, you see.

01:02:41.000 This one, this is weird.

01:02:43.000 I skipped over this in the notes.

01:02:45.000 I didn't see this one.

01:02:47.000 By the way, we didn't really look into him, but it looks like he's a little violent.

01:02:52.000 Well, these are the symptoms of inbreeding.

01:02:54.000 And you see it in radical Islam.

01:02:55.000 It's like extreme violence, inability to discuss things.

01:03:07.000 This is a Camp David negotiations with Palestine and Israel.

01:03:11.000 You're speaking fluent Muslim there.

01:03:13.000 I don't know.

01:03:13.000 There's literally nothing wrong with that.

01:03:15.000 So what do you think about a two-party state?

01:03:17.000 Is it possible?

01:03:20.000 No, no, put the cigarettes down.

01:03:21.000 We're trying to settle this.

01:03:23.000 What is that?

01:03:24.000 Freddy ate too much mercury?

01:03:26.000 Can women please just let their hair go free? 1.00

01:03:29.000 How do you feel about that?

01:03:31.000 No?

01:03:31.000 I hate that when you take off your Groucho Mark sunglasses, nose, and beard combo, and then only the glasses come off.

01:03:38.000 Wait a minute.

01:03:39.000 Not to drag you back into the beginning of the show, but what a fucking brutal typo, white life. 0.96

01:03:46.000 Yeah.

01:03:47.000 What an imbecile.

01:03:49.000 That's the worst type of typo.

01:03:51.000 Yeah, like that's one of the worst typos I've ever heard.

01:03:53.000 Optically.

01:03:54.000 I heard a great one.

01:03:55.000 Actually, it's in the notes here.

01:03:56.000 It's in the mailbag.

01:03:58.000 Actually, let's dig it up right now.

01:04:02.000 Eric Adams, who's such a fucking phony, go to, it's called Major Adams Ancient Chinese Secret.

01:04:13.000 And he's talking about, he pretends that he's scared of the way New York is going and he's worried about the crime.

01:04:18.000 You know why?

01:04:19.000 Because everyone is going, what the fuck is going on?

01:04:22.000 We hired a cop to run the city.

01:04:24.000 We thought there'd be some arrests.

01:04:25.000 You just keep going to parties at the Met.

01:04:28.000 He's like, no, I know it's bad.

01:04:30.000 I know it's bad.

01:04:31.000 I don't want this city to turn into the Wild West.

01:04:35.000 Except, he doesn't read.

01:04:37.000 He watches movies and he cannot say Wild West without thinking of Will Smith.

01:04:43.000 So if you go in about a minute in.

01:04:50.000 And we cannot allow New York to become the Wild, Wild West.

01:04:55.000 That is unacceptable.

01:04:57.000 That's not a career-ruining typo, but it is a respect-ruining typo.

01:05:02.000 You think it's called the Wild, Wild West?

01:05:05.000 That's a song, you boob. 0.95

01:05:20.000 That's a great song.

01:05:22.000 It's such a great song.

01:05:23.000 The Wild, Wild West.

01:05:27.000 I got to hear that again.

01:05:28.000 By the way, the chick next to him looks like she's been crying all day.

01:05:31.000 Become the Wild, Wild West.

01:05:34.000 He also can't speak.

01:05:36.000 It's called the Wild, Wild West.

01:05:37.000 Not the Wild, Wild West.

01:05:39.000 Maybe he's talking about the Jersey gas station.

01:05:41.000 We don't want to talk about the Wild, Wild West.

01:05:43.000 Maybe he means where the drinks are.

01:05:45.000 Like the soft drinks are in the west side of Wawa.

01:05:49.000 That's funny.

01:05:50.000 The Wild, Wild West.

01:05:52.000 Wild West.

01:05:54.000 Fucking boob. 1.00

01:05:55.000 I'm a wild, wild Western chauvinist, and I refuse to allopagize.

01:06:00.000 I hate the way he says community.

01:06:02.000 Community.

01:06:03.000 Oh, I heard him on the radio today, and yeah, he talks really weird.

01:06:07.000 Like, he took a pause and like, we have to keep this city intact.

01:06:12.000 Like, sometimes he'll over-enunciate a T. He's never read a book in his life.

01:06:15.000 That's a weird man.

01:06:17.000 He always talks about, too, like, when I grew up in Bushwick, single mom, she had to work three jobs.

01:06:23.000 We were so poor that I would have to bring clothes to school in case we got evicted.

01:06:28.000 Then in 1968, she bought a house in Queen.

01:06:30.000 What?

01:06:32.000 You were born in 1960.

01:06:35.000 Your mom worked three jobs and then bought a house in 1968? 0.99

01:06:38.000 Wow.

01:06:40.000 Those were three pretty good jobs.

01:06:42.000 You managed to fucking save up for and buy a house in eight years as a single mom? 1.00

01:06:48.000 Nice.

01:06:49.000 Maybe you're lying, Eric.

01:06:53.000 This is a city of swagger.

01:06:55.000 And without mentioning his predecessor, he loves saying swagger.

01:07:01.000 And the leadership should have that swagger.

01:07:04.000 That's what has been missing in this city.

01:07:07.000 All we did was wallow in COVID.

01:07:09.000 But is all swagger swaying New Yorkers?

01:07:12.000 He's an ex-cop.

01:07:13.000 That's what they do.

01:07:15.000 He's not an ex-cop.

01:07:16.000 He's an ex-transit cop, and he was nothing but a pain in the ass.

01:07:19.000 He spent more time protesting and talking about racism than he did actually policing.

01:07:24.000 He's the least cop cop I've ever copped.

01:07:28.000 While we're on weird stuff from politicians, did you see this video of Trump in the water?

01:07:35.000 No?

01:07:35.000 It's one of my favorite things.

01:07:38.000 I texted it to Josh.

01:07:40.000 I'll pull it up.

01:07:41.000 It's him before he's about to film something.

01:07:45.000 And he keeps...

01:07:46.000 I'm showing the drink on the TV, but I'm dying of thirst because Ryan made me eat a filet of fish for breakfast.

01:07:52.000 Make you.

01:07:54.000 I just say that.

01:07:55.000 I did ask if you wanted something.

01:07:59.000 So what are you showing me there?

01:08:00.000 Detective Shitstein?

01:08:02.000 Regular detective, just Detective Ryan.

01:08:05.000 Here.

01:08:09.000 Oh, yeah, this is famous.

01:08:10.000 Everyone's seen this.

01:08:11.000 The water and the picture, right?

01:08:12.000 This seems so normal to me.

01:08:14.000 Yeah, me too.

01:08:15.000 I didn't find it.

01:08:15.000 It's a really important shot.

01:08:18.000 The little sanitary thing on top of the cup looks stupid and it makes you look weak and like a germaphobe, which he is.

01:08:25.000 Not weak, but a germaphobe.

01:08:27.000 And then the little napkin underneath it is a bit much too.

01:08:30.000 It's distracting.

01:08:31.000 And that took some figuring out to do.

01:08:33.000 Yeah?

01:08:34.000 I don't think you want to have the water.

01:08:35.000 I like it, you're right.

01:08:36.000 You can take it off.

01:08:37.000 Take it off, Joy.

01:08:39.000 Yeah, put it over there, Nick.

01:08:41.000 There you go, Nick.

01:08:42.000 Kind of on this table as well.

01:08:44.000 Yeah, might as well take the table.

01:08:47.000 Dumb suggestion.

01:08:48.000 Thank you.

01:08:48.000 This is what it's like working with Ryan.

01:08:50.000 Put the table back because it's missing something.

01:08:53.000 Put the table back and put the water on the table without the thing on top of it.

01:09:00.000 I don't get...

01:09:01.000 Is this bad?

01:09:02.000 I don't think so.

01:09:04.000 I'm saying, does the left think this is...

01:09:07.000 I think they say it's unusual.

01:09:09.000 Like, it's weird.

01:09:11.000 I don't think it's weird.

01:09:13.000 I would die for any more of this footage of him just.

01:09:16.000 I would die to watch him brush his teeth.

01:09:17.000 Me too.

01:09:18.000 Oh, my God.

01:09:19.000 That would be awesome.

01:09:20.000 Great teeth.

01:09:21.000 I want to see him drive.

01:09:22.000 Actually, we did see a footage of him driving.

01:09:25.000 And his son posted he was in the backseat.

01:09:27.000 They were listening to Taylor Swift, and he was driving.

01:09:30.000 And I was like, this is awesome.

01:09:31.000 I don't trust liars.

01:09:33.000 Salutation, grits, and squints.

01:09:35.000 I hate to say it, but you may need to come to terms with the fear that this pedophilia plague has much larger and much more sinister grip on the world than anyone wants to know.

01:09:42.000 Check out this organization called Operation Underground Railroad.

01:09:46.000 Their efforts have hauled in literally thousands of traffickers and predators.

01:09:50.000 Maybe I'm naive, but that sounds like no small deal.

01:09:54.000 The way I see it, the media and government are in bed together.

01:09:56.000 These same organizations that consistently lie about crime, the climate, race, COVID, gender, et cetera, are all are also relentlessly trying to discredit theories about organized pedophilia.

01:10:08.000 Trump was handed the election by Russia.

01:10:10.000 The 2020 election was secure.

01:10:12.000 All these claims of fraud are baseless conspiracy theories.

01:10:15.000 Jan 6 was a violent attempt to overthrow our democracy.

01:10:18.000 COVID is going to kill us all.

01:10:20.000 Stay inside and wear a mask.

01:10:21.000 Proud boys are violent, white supremacists, domestic terrorists.

01:10:25.000 All of this comes from the same mouths that say that there's no grooming agenda.

01:10:29.000 There's no coordinated movement in Hollywood or the government.

01:10:31.000 And anyone who thinks so is a far-right QAnon lunatic.

01:10:35.000 Again, maybe I'm naive, but it seems weird that the pattern of spectacularly persistent lying would take a break for this one.

01:10:43.000 Yeah, that's my favorite line of that letter is the last one.

01:10:47.000 This pattern of spectacularly persistent lying would take a break.

01:10:53.000 What is Opera Ground?

01:10:55.000 Operation Underground Railroad.

01:10:57.000 Because we know that the trafficking is Mexican. 0.73

01:11:00.000 It's MS-13.

01:11:06.000 Look at that.

01:11:08.000 Well, this covers the whole world.

01:11:10.000 It seems to go along the equator.

01:11:15.000 Okay.

01:11:17.000 Creepy Joe drama in two parts.

01:11:20.000 One, look at the boy on the left's reaction to Joe and presumably his sister.

01:11:24.000 I think that's either Hunter Biden's son or maybe Bo Biden's son.

01:11:28.000 And so that would be Joe Biden sniffing his granddaughter.

01:11:33.000 You can pull it up anytime you want.

01:11:36.000 Gotcha.

01:11:37.000 Creepy Joe drama in two parts.

01:11:38.000 Hello?

01:11:39.000 Yep.

01:11:40.000 I'm just liberating all these pictures here.

01:11:41.000 It takes a second to open them up.

01:11:43.000 Can you just double-click on'em?

01:11:44.000 I can, and I did.

01:11:46.000 Well, why does it take so long to open them up?

01:11:49.000 That's the wrong one.

01:11:52.000 Why are you making me so angry right now?

01:11:55.000 Why did that take an hour?

01:11:57.000 When you click it, it takes a second to open.

01:12:00.000 And I wanted to get them all in a slideshow so I could just go left to right.

01:12:03.000 Yeah, no, don't do that next time.

01:12:05.000 You don't need to make a slideshow.

01:12:06.000 You just cost everyone 20 seconds.

01:12:10.000 Just click on them.

01:12:12.000 So yeah, look at the boy and the less reaction.

01:12:14.000 That's perfect.

01:12:18.000 Has a kid ever made that face to you?

01:12:20.000 The kids know.

01:12:22.000 And I think kids have programmed in their DNA some sort of predator sensor where they're like, something's not right.

01:12:29.000 It keeps them alive.

01:12:30.000 It keeps them from being raped.

01:12:32.000 He's just like, what the fuck is, what the fucking fucking.

01:12:36.000 And then I think that's the same kid later on.

01:12:38.000 I've seen this clip, by the way.

01:12:40.000 And he scoops down low and picks him up.

01:12:42.000 So those scenarios are not good.

01:12:45.000 The best case scenario right there is that he's saying, I love you.

01:12:48.000 I'm so proud of you in a really weird and inappropriate way, as his daughter spoke about.

01:12:54.000 Or the other option is he's like, I saw you fucking sneering.

01:12:58.000 You want to make trouble for yourself?

01:13:00.000 Don't make trouble, little man.

01:13:01.000 That's the worst case scenario.

01:13:03.000 Go back to it.

01:13:05.000 God damn it.

01:13:06.000 What a chore it is to get these pictures to work.

01:13:12.000 Yeah, so that's not how you show affection to a child.

01:13:17.000 That's how you fuck a chick, actually. 1.00

01:13:20.000 So neither end of the spectrum is good for that one.

01:13:30.000 How's it going, Gav and the Turd Burglar?

01:13:32.000 This is an advert for the national lottery in the UK currently running.

01:13:36.000 It's like a woke checklist of bullshit, including South Asian protagonist. 0.99

01:13:41.000 That's how they say Packy over there.

01:13:43.000 Without getting in trouble.

01:13:44.000 Bumbling white man who can't do anything right.

01:13:47.000 Several strong, powerful women leading the way. 1.00

01:13:50.000 Girls football, which basically doesn't exist past the age of about nine here.

01:13:58.000 Oh, why am I not speaking in a British accent?

01:14:00.000 A mixed rice dyke saves the day. 1.00

01:14:03.000 And they left the comments switched on, which might interest some viewers.

01:14:06.000 I honestly can't remember the last time the winner wasn't white, married, and middle class.

01:14:11.000 You can read my name out because I'm not a faggy fucking cunt. 0.61

01:14:14.000 Stephen Cooper.

01:14:15.000 Right?

01:14:16.000 Of course.

01:14:18.000 You're not going to believe us, Mo.

01:14:20.000 You've won.

01:14:21.000 Stop.

01:14:22.000 Stop.

01:14:22.000 When I was a kid, if you're watching English TV and you heard a Scottish accent, that was diversity.

01:14:27.000 Or a Welsh accent even.

01:14:30.000 Like, there was always English. 1.00

01:14:31.000 It was always middle-class English.

01:14:32.000 Even here, a working-class, like, kids' show host, roar. 0.99

01:14:36.000 Hello, kids.

01:14:36.000 Today we're going to talk about Leo Fucking Bay for a change.

01:14:40.000 That was crazy.

01:14:42.000 And that, so it's weird for me to watch this because I'm already multicultured by that Scottish woman running the till. 1.00

01:14:50.000 Shouldn't that milk be refrigerated? 0.96

01:14:53.000 Of course.

01:14:54.000 You're not going to believe us, Mo.

01:14:56.000 You've won.

01:14:57.000 What?

01:14:59.000 Yes!

01:15:00.000 Come on, Jay!

01:15:02.000 Oh, white male blows it. 0.89

01:15:04.000 Thanks a lot, Whitemail.

01:15:06.000 And he's not coming to help, by the way.

01:15:09.000 He's too stupid to help.

01:15:11.000 He'll mine the shop.

01:15:13.000 How weak are you holding something where a breeze from a door rips it out of your hand?

01:15:18.000 Why didn't she yell to the white guy, go help him? 0.55

01:15:21.000 He spots it, by the way.

01:15:23.000 Physics is not friendly with this commercial.

01:15:25.000 Okay, check this out.

01:15:30.000 Let's do this.

01:15:37.000 Stop.

01:15:37.000 Did you fucking...

01:15:38.000 This should have been a green screen.

01:15:40.000 Oh, white men. 0.51

01:15:42.000 And they're wrecking their own produce because they think it's faster than just going around it.

01:15:47.000 And I'm in a wheelchair for fuck's sake.

01:15:49.000 I mean, if I had legs, I never would have done that.

01:15:51.000 What a waste of legs is the message we're getting here.

01:15:55.000 And by the way, you're not going to help them chase the thing.

01:15:57.000 You're in a fucking wheelchair. 1.00

01:15:59.000 Are you blind too?

01:16:01.000 And it looks like she stole two watermelons from the market.

01:16:03.000 Yeah, someone checks her.

01:16:05.000 Don't be scared.

01:16:06.000 Don't be worried about being politically incorrect.

01:16:08.000 See if those are stolen.

01:16:10.000 I remembered her having much smaller tits when she entered the market. 1.00

01:16:13.000 By the way, that's the protagonist in the middle there, the South Asian dyke. 1.00

01:16:20.000 White male's last. 0.99

01:16:21.000 She's clearly meant to be lesbian, right? 1.00

01:16:26.000 Oh, the old timers are going to help, but I bet the white male old timers will be the worst.

01:16:30.000 Women's football.

01:16:33.000 Oh, it was a great save, though, you'll notice.

01:16:35.000 It wasn't bad.

01:16:39.000 Oh, we got it.

01:16:42.000 Black guys in there.

01:16:45.000 I think that's the joke.

01:16:49.000 It's a weird joke to stick in there, though.

01:16:52.000 Phew, saved the day.

01:16:56.000 Seriously?

01:16:58.000 Do you really need the ticket?

01:17:00.000 Isn't there proof he was there and he bought it?

01:17:04.000 Look, white male. 0.63

01:17:06.000 Last.

01:17:07.000 Then there's a stupid white male who couldn't even make it to the stairs. 0.71

01:17:12.000 Oh, the lesbian. 1.00

01:17:14.000 The trans.

01:17:18.000 Not sure where they got on the bus to get there.

01:17:24.000 You did it, trans, queer, ethnically ambiguous person.

01:17:30.000 Oh, that was great.

01:17:31.000 Okay, let's jump to the final video.

01:17:57.000 We're against porn, but sometimes we Can't resist, and we watch gay porn. 0.83

01:18:04.000 This should give you a boner if you're a man.

01:18:06.000 I think it should make women horny too. 1.00

01:18:09.000 And as far as trans men, well, you better get ready to be into this kind of stuff after you take testosterone. 0.94

01:18:17.000 So he does P US, so three squares.

01:18:21.000 Look at that B. And he can stand on it too because it instantly dries.

01:18:26.000 Right?

01:18:26.000 Now he's pouring the paint in as he does it.

01:18:30.000 The scalding hot paint.

01:18:31.000 It's probably like rubber or some shit.

01:18:33.000 Look at that fucking S. Anyone who's done any kind of lettering knows what a bitch an S is. 1.00

01:18:40.000 Look at that masterpiece of an S. Perfect T. Now the O's are really difficult.

01:18:47.000 Not for me.

01:18:48.000 Boop.

01:18:49.000 Boop.

01:18:50.000 Look at that.

01:18:52.000 It's literally perfect.

01:18:54.000 And he's pouring the paint in as he does it.

01:18:58.000 Am I the only guy with a boner right now?

01:19:02.000 That's a good t-shirt idea.

01:19:05.000 Am I the only guy with a boner right now?

01:19:09.000 It was funny when we were doing the show.

01:19:11.000 I was like, thank God I didn't do Coke or do any shots.

01:19:13.000 And I look in the front row and there's a guy wearing a shirt that says, please don't let me do shots or Coke.

01:19:18.000 Man after my own heart.

01:19:20.000 All right, folks, we got a very exciting show.

01:19:22.000 Tomorrow, we are supposed to have Alex Stein Primetime 99.

01:19:27.000 Fingers cross-assed.

01:19:29.000 We'll see what happens.

01:19:30.000 Until then, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, won't never stop fighting.

01:19:42.000 I'm a big fan booster.

01:19:44.000 I'm the hi-hat, bossing through the tweeter.

01:19:46.000 I'm the vibration in your body when you're standing by the speaker, on the speaker, on the rooster.

01:19:52.000 Let you know that you gon' fuck with me.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - June 27, 2022

S4EP134 - BITCHES BE CRAZY

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript